#and also weird that my version of 'networking' is just being very super honest about stuff all the time

[ban-joey]

my seminar class yesterday was a panel discussion that was so deeply heartfelt and activism-focused that it made me cry on camera to the point that the panelists invited me to their committee meeting so like. cool that being really emotional about trying to solve public health inequities has immediately made me some really really cool new friends. also what the fuck is happening

[theglguidetowebcomics]

Full review: Girly

What’s Pink, insane, NSFW, hilarious, and somehow heartwarming at points? This comic is a ride and a half, and I’m genuinely surprised more people haven’t heard of this one… I’ve been wanting to talk about this one for a WHILE. 

So let’s talk about the elephant in this room… Because I think it just ate someone’s couch. 

Slightly NSFW review with spoilers below.

Girly, by Jackie Lesnick was a webcomic that ran between 2003 and 2010, (and really has some of those early webcomic hallmarks). Its monochromatic pink, vertical, with a poppy early cartoon feel. It’s also listed as a romantic comedy, which is… correct, but cuts a whole lot of what makes this comic good, short. 

This review was always going to be one of the 4 I really struggled with. And not just because I lost it the first time without a back up in a code glitch, got distracted by a pandemic, then procrastinated my way to finally making a second version in my new backup folder… No, well also yes but no. This was a comic I read when I was younger (and should NOT have read  when I was younger), and have always had a soft spot for. I’ll admit as much as this comic has its flaws or weird moments or just weirdness in general, its one of the few comics I’ve found myself rereading in its entirety more than once. And no matter how much I know it's coming, find myself sobbing, uncontrollably, at the final panel. There’s surprisingly a lot of heart in this comic, and a whole lot of honesty in just the direction the author took this weird little thing. But, first let me take of those rose tinted glasses as much as I can… (actually that might not work too well with a pink comic seriously whats with all these early 2000s lesbian comics being PINK?). And give this old comic a look and a bit of a dust. but , first...

Sex.

Getting to the point - page 3 of “Girly”

Girly is a NSFW comic. It’s not shy about it either. It hits the audience (and the main character) over the head with it literally in the first pages. It has sex positive characters, a sex positive world, some characters with… sex powers almost, and Dildos, a whole lot of dildos. Some even with smiley faces on them. It’s a pretty unavoidable part of the comic that makes up a large core of it’s humour and is baked into its wacky world. So if that’s not your thing, and it’s not really skippable in this case, you won’t like this comic.

But, if you’re alright with that part of it this might just be a hidden gem. Moving on.

Art

Artwork is always interesting in webcomics. They’re usually one man shows, have a weird niche / strong influences, and or usually go on massive journeys as the art improves. Girly is no different here. 

Girly starts out rough. Some poses are wonky and its a bit scratchy. Technically speaking it has a few issues, which is fine. Its a free webcomic, from the 2000s that didn't copy and paste faces. (Won’t name names, you know who you are). You can’t be too harsh on a free comic, though.

However, what the art style does, even early on is set the style and feel of the comic. Anime inspired faces, bold outlines, and blocky silhouettes that were really popular with 90’s and 2000s cartoons. It has a newspaper, manga comedy strip vertical style, too. It fits the style of story well as a poppy wacky story. It's the perfect art style it could take.

Its rough in the beginning, but moves on from its scratchy days, to loose pen brush, to finally a polished free hand poppy style. It gets more technically advanced as it goes along, but it keeps its core style throughout. It’s fun, a little unhinged, and just pares perfectly.

The one issue I have with the art is it comes off as a bit cramped. It certainly matches the energy of the story, but it also feels like it doesn't let the characters have any breathing room in the frame. It comes off as squashed, and can make some character poses hard to read. That’s the only complaint I can find though. The issue even fixes itself later in the story, but just very very close to the end. It looks great there, but the majority of the comic is a little cramped. Still that’s just a small complaint.

Nitpicking here but some panels need a lil more room

This a humour comic foremost. It's the biggest part of what makes Girly specifically Girly.

Humour

The humour is mostly wacky nonsense, playing off its insane characters, physics defying world, everything being dialed up to 11. It also works a lot like satire, poking at what influences it, and playing with cinematic expectations. The first page has Otra shooting someone into space on a rocket because they annoyed them, the first “adventure” the character’s go on is stealing everyone’s pants because they couldn’t find anything else to do. Then there’s the kidnapping adventures, knight trials, and slice of life shenanigans that happen. All of it as wacky as the last. I haven’t really found any other lesbian comics like it. Its not everyone’s tastes, but it is certainly unique.

If you’re into a willy wonka tunnel of over the top characters and plots, you’ll like Girly.

Characters

Girl is a LONG comic, it ran for 7 years. The art evolved, the story writing, jokes, and themes along with it. It was originally meant to run for only 50 strips... and it ended up with 764. 

so, there’s a lot to unpack.

Firstly, the premise of the story is somewhat simple. It focuses on Otra. The kinda straight man to the entire universe. She starts out almost depressed, out of place, and bored of the wacky inhabitants of her world. Until one of those wacky residents smacks her over the head with a giant dildo and won’t leave her alone for the next 7 years of run time. 

What follows is the sullen Otra being pulled around by the always cheery and zany nonsensical Winter as the sidekick for bizarre adventures. Otra’s depressive grounded view keeps the bizarreness funny, while Winter cuts through her negative attitude and causes a lot of the over the top plot. Leaving Otra to warm up to the world, and Winter to get less reckless as they balance eachother out. It’s a fun dynamic, and works as an emotional core of the story. No matter how weird the plot and rules of the world are, their relationship keeps the story somewhat focused and rewarding to see develop.

An example of bold wacky character designs from even early on

The comic isn’t just about them, though. As an ensemble comic there's plenty of side characters that go through arcs and beats as well. From el chubacabre, the man that woman find so irresistible that they sleep with him as soon as they see him; detective Clapjaw the street wise detective who is very bad at his job; Officer Hipbone and police guy from the cute P D; captain fist the ever popular bad at his job superhero who gets all the credit; the news reporter obsessed with captain fist; the woman with babies; Steak;  the elephants that just… appear and eat buildings; among many many others. A lot of whom also have nicely written character arcs and depth in later chapters. Many of the character however are simple and remain simple, which isn’t a bad thing. For such a large cast, having a diverse range of strange characters with strong identities and looks even if a bit simple stops it from getting bogged down. It strikes a good balance. Plus there’s plenty enough of characters with more depth later on. 

 All the character’s are insane, and over the top in a way that really sets up the world they live in and how it works... as dysfunctional as it is. There’s something very Cartoon Network about all the characters, but with some wider influences. something about  dumb characters, with very specific goals and quirks that work on their own physics to feed into the high energy insanity of the world. Its entertaining to read, and leads to a weirdly charming feel of the comic. 

Story and plot

For the bit people actually want to know about. What is it about?

Just a little bit of influences...

For the style itself the comic comes off as a mix between early 2000s slice of life-y anime, 2000s cartoon Network, and a dose of 2000s webcomic sarcastic action/adventure flare. It definitely has one of the most pronounced styles that I’ve seen, and even if it's very much a webcomic of it’s time it also goes a bit beyond that into something that feels personal to the author and honest. Its a batshit comic. But, it wears its influences on it’s sleeve and really plays with tropes and ideas the author found engaging at the time. It somehow comes off as refreshing in just how willing it is to go weird or niche for no other reason but because it wants to. It's what I appreciate most about the comic. It’s honest.

The overarching story of the comic is without a doubt about Otra and winter growing together as people. But with a comic that’s run for 7 years a little bit more happens in the journey, at least you hope it would. Girly runs on chapters, 15 in total (with 15 having sub chapters due to being the story’s climax), and each one of those chapters follows a different plot or adventure with Otra’s and Winter’s developing relationship gluing them together. 

The plots themselves are wild and vary a bit in quality. But for a long comic that’s understandable and expected. They go from solving elephant problems, super villains, body swapping, fantasy parodies, and all sorts of strange things. Sometimes a few plots drag and a few character arcs feel a bit bland. It still manages to be entertaining all the way through though. The plots themselves work to get the character’s to play off each other and explore the strange world it takes place in. Exploring evil teddy bears, or an entire town devoted to cheap gags. No matter what, all the plots work in fleshing out the world and pushing character’s out of their comfort zone or forcing them to change. There are some that are less fun than others, but none of them manage to be boring or useless. Which for a long comic such as this, is quite an achievement.

Conclusion

Girly is a hidden gem, Its an insane sex positive comic. A loose style and even looser physics. It’s bold and unabashedly itself. But, at its core it's about the love story of Winter, the wacky insane woman needing to slow down and open up, and Otra, a sullen woman who’s deemed herself only worthy of being on the outskirts of society. It’s two people growing together in a world that’s up to its ears in care bears, sentient dildos, earth shattering cloning, and jabs at 2000’s paste it comics. And somehow it all sticks together.

The characters resonated, at least with me, which may be the nostalgia talking. But by the end of the comic I can’t help but  think back on how long it took them to get there. The bits that made me laugh (a lot of them), the stupid parts, and the character’s arcs, as over the top they could be at times.  It may not everyone’s cup of tea. But it has a lot of heart at its core. (If you get past all the dildos). 

For all it’s flaws and weird bits. I still find myself going back to Girly. 

Maybe now, some more people will too.

[ohmrlove]

They Meet Your Family (on Thanksgiving)

Hi everyone! Long time no see! Work is very busy, so I’m trying to get around that however I can! (≧▽≦)

I hung out with my family yesterday and one of my cousins brought her new boyfriend--then this!

🍷 Victor 🍷

Is both ready and not ready to meet your family. On the one hand, it’s autopilot business mode--keep conversation going, on the other hand, IT’S YOUR FAMILY

Is afraid he’ll come off too blunt or intimidating because he knows he has hardcore RBF (resting bitch face)

Mentally prepares himself for all the ass-kissing and gushing. Probably makes some funny jokes and bets about how many people are going to do it

If you want to join in on that bet and do something fun, say he has to pledge a dollar or whatever amount towards the next couple’s night just so you can destress from all that!

If you’re serious about putting that pledge money somewhere, he’ll flip a coin or will get someone to randomly pick a charity

Second-most likely to get into an argument with THAT family member (or members)

If he’s tasked to cook a side dish, expect him to cook it multiple times because EVEN THOUGH THIS MAN IS A BANGING CHEF, HE’S CONVINCED IT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

iT cOuLd bE bEtTeR

You finally tell him if he makes it again, and you have to eat more of it, you won’t eat any come the gathering. Suddenly the last batch is enough

Would also DEFINITELY come through and offer to get something special ordered or catered if lots of people are coming or the ovens will be tied up (or no one wants to cook)

Is actually super uncomfortable because he knows everyone’s going to kiss his ass and ask all the nosy questions for at least an hour or two

He’s the one people catch playing with kids or cats and they’re surprised at how nice and carefree he looks

If he can’t talk down or make it pointedly clear that someone’s conversation is making other people uncomfortable (or they’re just toeing the line of being an ass), there WILL be words

Or he will make it known just by leaving. That sends a pretty clear message

Wants to help set dishes or the table but ends up feeling like a bumbling idiot in someone else’s home and is shooed away for being a guest. Victor feels like a freeloader and doesn’t like it

The one who knows everyone’s name and their taboo subjects because he studied this shit (also, he’s really good with names/faces anyways

📢 Gavin 📢

Also has a milder version of RBF

He speaks abruptly but not to the point of being intimidating. Gavin’s just not one for a lot of words. Too complicated

Blushes really easy during those beginning awkward conversations? Look at his ears and neck!

Stumbles through the first few conversations and DEFINITELY has to ask people to repeat their names

Relaxes after about an hour or if he finds someone he can connect with--someone into sports or who likes a show he watches, or likes to drink.

Is way more active than Victor so he’s the perfect kid-chaser and playtime buddy. He’ll never get tired!

Tolerates kids pretty well but is in the mindset of lecturing them and/or explaining why they shouldn’t do something if he sees ‘bad behavior’ happening

Probably co-conspired with another family member to do a fake arrest or spin some story for a really misbehaving kid :o

He thought it was funny but the kid was scared to death. You’re not amused

Is proud of his cooking when it comes to you two, doesn’t want to share it with your family. Either bought something from the store to look helpful (”S/O brought ‘x’, I brought more drinks. I hope everyone likes them.”) or just left the prep to you. He bought the ingredients and carried it in though.

The one that’s ready to help set up outside chairs and tables

He’s the one that makes cooks happy because he goes back for second (and thirds)

Isn’t the best at taking pictures because his eyes end up closed or his wind blew his hair the wrong way, but they eventually get a good shot of him. Boy’s photogenic, just awkward.

🔬 Lucien 🔬

Considers it an event in people watching

It’s also a treasure hunt for your personality--where did you pick up your traits and quirks?

He’ll mentally track any strong genetics. Things like that fascinate him.

Is 100% mentally prepared for a lot of his work to go over people’s heads. He’s used to phrasing his research different ways

He’s an extremely adaptable conversationalist; he’s got a wide range of topics and knowledge at the ready! Lucien just has to want to talk about it

Very self-conscious about talking too much, and ends up doing the exact opposite

Can BS his way into looking calm, but is actually extremely shy and careful with his words. If not for his smile and kind, watchful gaze people would think he’s being stiff and short with them

Would MUCH rather chase any animals around the house or play with toddlers.

Will answer all the ‘BUT WHY?’ questions little kids have

The one who’s hungry but doesn’t want to make his plate. You sense this and make him one. Lucien is legitimately hungry but also relishes the excuse of having his face full so he can’t talk

Probably ends up getting roped into giving a few diagnosis even though he’s not that type of doctor. Would be honest and tell them he’s guessing, and that he’ll ask around his network of people for more info

Once his introvert/people battery is burnt out he’d very much like to leave (please help him leave)

Probably dozed off after all the food; I can see him sleeping with his head on your shoulder or off in a comfy chair in another room

If your family has a nice backyard or lots of trees and things, he’ll want to go on a post-meal walk to see the flora and fauna

Will help the kids try to catch bugs or teach them about animals he saw on his walk (with pictures, of course)

Overall, he made a nice impression. He’d end up being that weird but cool uncle that’s a nice hermit kind of guy.

🎤 Kiro 🎤

He knows there’s no easy or good way to include himself in your family.

Everyone’s going to freak out and gush about him, given who he is

The two of you tried to ease into things and drop hints but that ended up amping everyone up for a big reveal they DID NOT expect

He’s not super worried, given his Evol, but he will DEFINITELY come to your defense if someone accuses you of trying to be with him for money

He’s also especially sensitive and disgusted with people trying to hook up with him (they’re your family? You’re dating?! You think he’d CHEAT?!) and will call them out on the spot. No shame.

Kiro loves you--you’re his moon and sun!--and he won’t tolerate that FOR A SECOND!

Is low-key exhausted when people ask him all the standard nosy reporter questions

Kind of hates that they ask him about all his travels and other celebrities. He gets that it’s the allure of a ‘celebrity’ but he wanted to learn about THEM. They can search his name and get ALL this info!

If this goes on for too long and he starts to feel like a spectacle, you’ll get him out of there quick and just have a private Thanksgiving

Is super nice and helpful with any kids. Keeps them all distracted and from underfoot while cooking happens

Prefers the joy and company of kids way more because they’re more honest and less...back-stabby? Snake-ish? than adults who think they’re smart and clever

Records nice little messages and videos for the kids or their friends, but won’t live message anyone.

Teaches them some easy choreography in another room or open space like a backyard

Is the unexpected CHAMP of eating--can put almost everyone under the table

Goes HARD on desserts because his agent isn’t here to stop him. Also, it’s rude not to at least TRY the food he’s offered!

The type to complain about how much he ate while trying to reach for one more bite. Stop this man. He has no self control.

If the kids have a craft room (to keep them from being under foot) and they make anything for him--especially if it has his name, like a bead necklace or bracelet--THAT’S NOT COMING OFF! It’ll probably show up in some interviews.

Survives the social onslaught but definitely enjoys getting back to the quiet of the road

If it’s a really long way back or you two flew out to attend, he’s excited to get back to the hotel and relax with you.

Hope you liked it! Happy late Thanksgiving to those who celebrated it!

[geek-gem]

I've been wanting to to make this for a while now. Even though it's very weird. But since I'm done reblogging some stuff and not gonna distract myself more or so.

If we ever for a Villainous movie, I think Michael Dougherty would be a excellent choice if there was ever one.

The reason why I think this post seems weird and sounds ridiculous. Because Villainous has been mostly a web series and is on its way to trying to become a full length show. So the idea of a movie adaptation is kind of a crazy. But it's mainly a fun idea.

It's also because ever since Godzilla King Of The Monsters 2019, I have this huge respect for Michael Dougherty as a director.

In a funny way I would literally bow down to him similar to how DCEU fans would would do with Zack Snyder. Especially I am a Zack Snyder fan, basically I got the reference for the whole bowing down thing. Even though I would mostly be, "In Legendary we trust" for Monsterverse.

But being serious the reason I even go with a choice like Michael Dougherty is considering his work not just on KOTM 2019. But even on other films he's made like Trick R Treat and Krampus.

While I've seen Krampus, it's not a favorite of mine, and I haven't seen Trick R Treat only parts, but I know the story of the movie. It's the horror comedy thing that he's good at. Especially in a weird way I guess he embraces it.

At first the way I thought of a Villainous film being like a black comedy in a way. Because I'll be honest yet I could be stupid, I see the show Villainous as like that. Considering I googled more of the definition. The show is well....we the fan base know it's freaking dark. It's a dark comedy basically. But also some horror comedy elements can be added too.

I just think Michael Dougherty is a natural fit.

In fact as a bonus, Black Hat would be played by Alan Ituriel by using motion capture and other stuff. Stuff you've seen in films with CGI characters. Including makes the performance better because he voices both Black Hat in both the Spanish and English dubs.

Next 505 would still be played by Mark Fischbach aka Markiplier because voicing him seems easy I think. 505 would basically be a CGI bear. I don't know if motion capture should be involved, okay if they want to. A joke for the film is when Flug turns 505 into a human by mistake and it's Mark playing the human version of 505.

The other two like Flug and Demencia are difficult to cast. I still need to look into those casting choices. Well Flug could be played by his voice actor because he would have his paper bag on his head. But I feel I want him to be seen as the 24 to 25 year old that the show confirmed him to be. Maybe the actor can do the lisp stuff.

Or make it easy with it being a animated movie. But still this is just a fine idea because I mentioned in a reblog that I really like Legendary a lot that I would not mind if they got the rights to a Villainous movie.

Strangely I keep thinking of the movie of just Flug trying to impress Black Hat despite it would be for nothing. Or even to take down a strong hero which might get Flug some good recogniztion from Black Hat...till Black Hat tells him he did a mediocre job like in the pilot, "The Dreadful Dawn".

I'm rambling now I wanted to share this. Especially I'll be honest, I've been impressed by my supposed live action casting of certain cartoon characters or ideas. It started with my Hilda movie idea. With Travis Knight as the director, Millie Bobby Brown as Hilda, and Emilia Clarke as Johanna. But to make it easy, you could just still cast Bella Ramsey because she and Millie are the same age.

I might do a Steven Universe one because I love the show.

Only difference when I make these posts, they aren't gonna be produced by Michael Bay like I joked about, and Legendary some how got the rights to make movies on certain shows.

Yeah I know people complain about the live action Disney remakes. These are just fun ideas I'm thinking about. Besides movies like these might never happen. Also I've enjoyed some of the Disney live action remakes, haven't seen all of them though.

Including don't take this as a legitimate confirmation. I might make some fake movie memes again.

Hope putting this in certain tags don't bother folks. I was trying to remember of what else I wanted to put in this. It felt important, but basically the thing is all of these casting choices and directors stuff okay I think I remember. But basically all of this is for live action ideas.

While ideas for casting choices and director stuff might not ever happen. Basically live action movies I'm talking about here might never happen because the creators might object them. It's just fun to think about. That's what I think I wanted to talk about. Especially I'm very fond of the live action Hilda movie and Emilia Clarke as Johanna....yeah and the other thing I'm thinking Legendary having properties like the ones I mentioned would be insane but amazing.

I'm very sorry to ramble this got long, give me your ideas of a director for a Villainous movie. Or even just this whole thing.

Edit fuck it, including I saw I forgot a period for the last sentence. I'll be honest, if Legendary had the rights to Steven Universe, Hilda, and Villainous. Folks might be thinking a cartoon cinematic universe of some sorts would be in the works. But it wouldn't be needed. Yet now it's so intriguing despite Hilda is not a Cartoon Network property. Especially I try not to be get super into crossovers between SU or Hilda with Villainous because of how that show is. Despite I think of certain interactions between characters.

But fuck it the unrealistic Legendary Cartoonverse is the greatest fucking thing in my mind now. But it doesn't have Looney Tunes or anything Disney related or whatever classics. Jesus I'm rambling more, let certain movies just not crossover....but it's genius now. It's the Monsterverse but with cartoons I love. 0_0

Still just it's too ambitious and don't need crossovers despite SU and Villainous are in the same universe....I'm so sorry to ramble I'm loving this idea, I've gone completely off topic.

[justgotham]

Selina Kyle’s arc for the duration of Gotham‘s farewell run is the cat’s meow, to hear her portrayer tell it.

As the second of this season’s dozen episodes (airing Thursdays at 8/7c on Fox) came to a close, viewers saw that Selina not only had regained the ability to walk (thanks to seed supplied by “Poison” Ivy), but she came away from the transformation with a li’l something extra, as evidenced by her cat-like pupils.

In what ways is Bruce’s BFF the same, and how is she quite different? TVLine spoke one last time with original cast member Camren Bicondova about the final twists to come.

TVLINE | How is Selina feeling right now? Oh, she’s feeling awful, very disoriented — it’s kind of that feeling that you get as a teenager in general, of just not really understanding what your mind is doing, what your body is doing. Except for her, it’s escalated because she was just given this holistic drug, I guess you could say, so now she’s going to take some major physical changes that she can’t control because A) it was from the drug that Ivy gave her, but also B) it’s not necessarily the characteristics of a human that she’s embraced. She has taken on animalistic characteristics.

TVLINE | Do any new “tricks” come with those animalistic characteristics? I mean, she’s just ferocious. If she was fierce before, she’s even more fierce, but on a completely different level. She’s ruthless, and she doesn’t have a filter. Like, before, she was very similar to Bruce where she doesn’t want to kill anybody, but now she’s different from Bruce in that if she has to, she will. She wants revenge on everybody who has done her wrong.

TVLINE | Can she now leap to the top of the refrigerator effortlessly? [Laughs] Honestly, I focused on some physicality and differences there, but it was more about of a change in mindset, at least as an actor. So, yeah, I hiss, and when it came to the stunts and stuff, I collaborated with my stunt double to be a bit quicker with certain things and things like that.

TVLINE | Who should be more worried right now — Bruce, or the #CatBat fans? The #CatBat fans.

TVLINE | Oh, no. I mean, I think the #CatBat fans will really love this season, and I think they’ll really hate this season, too, because the struggle this season for them isn’t because of something Selina can control but because of what she’s doing that she can’t control. It’s the same dynamic, but it’s also very different because it’s coming from a different perspective, and that’s what I’ve loved about this season. The writers took Selina’s complexity and electrocuted it five times.

TVLINE | And the fact of the matter is that, as grownups, she and Bruce famously have a contentious relationship. So something had to happen to make them a bit less lovey-dovey. Yeah, but to be honest, and what the audience will see this season, is this change in Selina isn’t that reason. The reason for their complexity as grownups happens at the end of the season.

TVLINE | Oh? I like it. Is Selina going to ally herself with anybody, or is she going to be a lone wolf amidst all and gangs that are out there? Oh, definitely a lone wolf. She’s learned by now that she can’t trust anybody.

TVLINE | She does keep getting screwed over. She keeps getting screwed over, even by the people that are good people. Gordon is considered a hero, and he’s screwed her over many times. And Bruce is considered a hero, and he’s screwed her over many times. Selina has definitely had a very hard life, and I’m super-honored that I was able to be the person to show that. I feel like it’s so easy to show the filtered version of the struggle, especially on network television, and this season has definitely been very unfiltered in showing some of this struggle of being an orphan and a young woman with no guidance amidst anarchy like Gotham

TVLINE | I tweeted you a picture I took of you on Gotham’s very first red carpet in New York City, at the public library. What was going through your mind that night? Oh, I was so clueless. [Laughs] I was just this 15-year-old girl. I mean, I went to Topshop for that outfit. I just didn’t know what to expect.

TVLINE | And there you are on the carpet alongside, like, Jada Pinkett Smith, Ben McKenzie, Donal Logue… Yeah. Honestly, I don’t think I really was in a place to understand what was going on. When you’re that young, you have no concept of what work is and what’s weird and what’s abnormal. Like, that’s just been my life — working and doing red carpets, and it’s a very abnormal thing. I’m just realizing now what I like and what I don’t like, but leading up to that premiere, what hit me was once we got there and we were at the New York Library…. I went back to the New York Library recently and I was just like, “Wow, I’ve been here before for a premiere of a show that I’m on.” It didn’t hit me until recently,but I’m kind of glad that it worked out that way because now I can appreciate everything with a different mentality and a different sense of maturity.

TVLINE | Well, I think that anyone who follows you on social media has seen how you’ve matured. You’ve gone through so much during these five years, and you’ve shared a lot of that with fans. Would you say the good has outweighed the bad, the messages you’ve been able to pass along? I wouldn’t necessarily say they outweigh them. I think that there’s a balance. For every bad thing that happens, a good thing comes out of it, and all of that happens through time. If the good outweighed the bad, then I wouldn’t have any balance in my life, but I will say that this show has brought me so many blessings in so many ways. I don’t know what’s next, but I’m excited for whatever it is, and I know that it’ll all be worth it in the end because I’ll be able to connect with people and work incredible jobs and live a great life because of it.

TVLINE | What will you miss most about being on-set with this cast? Honestly, just connecting with everyone almost every day. I mean, making eye contact is something that we as people take for granted, and to be able to really communicate with so many people every day, but also have it feel like a family, is what I’m going to miss. But I have their phone numbers!

TVLINE | Lastly, tell me something about the series finale…. It’s going to be really good. I mean, what else can I reveal…? It’s going to bring a lot of people justice, and it’s going to bring a lot of people a sense of relief, and I think it’s a brilliant way to make us all as a production proud of all of the work that we’ve done. I think people should tune in and not watch it on their DVRs — they should watch it live!

[aftermathdb]

DEATH BATTLE Review: Samurai Jack vs. Afro Samurai.

WARNING: The following review contains screenshots of large amounts of blood and gore. Please continue at your own discretion.

This battle has been a long time coming. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that this is the first time a character that was owned by Cartoon Network has entered the fray, making this unique in more ways than one. Can the Time-Displaced Warrior defeat The Number 1 Samurai? - We find out in a clash of blades.

Personally, I’m excited to use Jack in the story.

So, this is the second time a character from American animation has fought a character from Japanese animation. I’m not linking to the first one because of reasons.

Jack′s Preview.

I’m pretty sure that the usage of the original opening makes this all the better for the fans of Samurai Jack. Even calling Aku opening a time portal a ‘bitch move’ was pretty hilarious. Especially when Boomstick says “Me” instead of “Him.” There’s just so much to laugh at here, that it’s just hilarious.

Then we get into his training, and that’s when we see all the badass stuff.

(Because of course they have to mention “Jumping Good).

Regardless, Jack’s stats are very impressive. And his blade is just as so. Being forged by not one, not two, but three different gods- Jack’s katana is just plain cool. The fact that those gods all come from different pantheons makes it all the more badass to boot.

Even lampshading that Adamantium (at least the Marvel version) shouldn’t be there, Jack’s feats are super impressive. Like the way of how he jumps good. I had no idea that the boulder he wore was nearly forty tons. You learn something new every day.

I mean, with a resume like that, I think Afro really doesn’t stand much of a chance. “Dibs on Jack for my Basketball team” indeed.

Kinda dissapointed that they never mentioned that off a few technicalities (Like lacking a master, and disobeying certain orders), Jack falls under the category of Ronin. Didn’t even put it in a notecard.

And to be honest, I had completely forgotten about that “Who else wants some” line.

Afro′s Preview.

If these guys were trying to get people invested in the Afro Samurai series, I’d say they did a pretty good job. I’d say that if you enjoy something like Berserk, you’ll enjoy Afro Samurai.

Anyways, they go over the sacred headbands first. Talking about their legend, and the supposed powers they bring. But a notecard and some explanation quickly dispenses any notion that there’s any real power to be held by them.

(”An overhyped strip of cloth…” I had a petty comment about a certain American comic character’s fanbase, but making a comment like that is beneath me).

Tangent aside, Afro’s background has some fair similarities with Jack’s. Like…

Not knowing their real name. Seriously?- What is up with that? Do all great samurais on a quest share this trait?

The background for the headbands is pretty cool too. Showcasing both the benefits and the burdens of each. But, there’s really no actual benefit, and it seems to rely on just the honor system. Quick question!- What’s stopping someone from just stealing the Number 1 headband?- Or just creating a replica of it?

And Boomstick brings up a good point here. The hardest part about being a parent in these types of stories seems to be staying alive, rather than… anything else really.

And I have to agree with the weird naming system they have. Next thing you tell me, is that this series has a series of brothers that are numbered [Link]……… goddammit.

And then there’s how he killed Sword Master, and befriended Ninja Ninja… The original point about the naming still stands. Though, given how unhelpful he (Ninja Ninja) is, I doubt that he’ll be of any use in the fight.

Even the blade and arsenal he wields is impressive. And that Perfect Parry technique sounds similar to that parry move that Ryu has. And it seems like he likes fighting dirty. Which is probably going to be the only real thing he has against Jack.

OH! And for some reason, they give Afro the descriptor of Ronin, but not Jack. That just feels like being cheated out of something.

And his resume… Okay, that laser feat, assassin defeat time, and strength are really the only ones that are impressive. At least, when compared to Jack surviving a fall from space. Pretty sure that one feat beats any of Afro’s.

I’m no expert in this series, but his end line… It’s pretty badass.

The Battle Itself.

Luis (Who did Leon vs. Frank and was on the team that did Strange vs. Fate) is hand animating this entirely with some help from Jerky, making this the second DEATH BATTLE that is completely hand animated (The first being Smokey vs. McGruff). Jack will have the voice of Kanji Tang while Afro will be voiced by Devante’ Johnson, music is called Watch out, Samurai! (Youtube link not available at the moment) and is done by Therewolf, and lead audio is by Chris Kokkinios with the help of Philip Spann (No twitter handle available, so here’s his facebook).

So, the story is that… They smell the blood on the other’s blade, and decide to duke it out. I’m not sure if that was the intent, so I’m guessing there’s really no story at all. The voice actors are just there to say some interesting lines. But regardless of that, look at this beautiful hand-drawn animation!

Seriously though, this is your last chance to turn back. The screenshots get more bloody and violent as the battle progresses.

That’s some freaking nice art right there. And it really helps with the battle, considering that just using sprites would probably not work as well as it could.

So the two start fighting, and are capable of parrying most strikes. And I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “Wait! I thought that Jack’s blade couldn’t harm innocent people! Why can it hurt Afro?” And to that I say, “Afro’s an innocent man?- The dude killed his master all because he had the Number 2 headband!”

We also see Afro’s dirty fighting in action, as he uses his cigarette to temporarily blind Jack. But, it doesn’t work as well as it would in most situations. An earlier notecard revealed that Jack could dodge arrows based on sound, so it’s not likely that Afro could deal damage based on that.

In fact, here it is:

The battle rages on until the rope bridge they’re on turns vertical, and Jack falls to his demise- I’m kidding. He jumps back up. Afro even comments on it. It’s a nice little touch considering that most opponents just assumed that people who can Jump Good are capable of flight. The reactions are rather humorous too.

And we also see that neither are leaving the battle unscathed, as Afro manages to get in some good strikes, and then Jack returns the favor.

(Look at that expression. That feels like it could have come straight out of the show).

So, as we can see, Afro manages to disarm Jack, and Jack manages to return the favor.

And in true Samurai Jack fashion, the blade cuts the rest of the bridge.

And then after an intense strike from above, Afro once again, manages to disarm Jack… Literally this time.

(Yeah, that’s not something you’d see in seasons 1-4).

But no need to worry (Unless you were rooting for Afro), Jack, once again, manages to return the favor and then some.

Yeah… That blood and gore warning wasn’t kidding.

Finishing blow in

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

So, with Jack sporting the Rad Spencer look (without the bionic arm) and Afro looking like Jax (without the bionic arms), Jack finishes off his opponent in a brutal fashion that wouldn’t be out of place in Afro’s series.

(Neat little detail: Jack is wearing the headband that Afro used to wear).

Verdict + Explanation.

So, yeah. Jack’s stats just… They just outclass Afro’s. That’s just… Yeah. I think a lot of people were expecting that, but probably also expected it to be a stomp in Jack’s favor. He didn’t come out unscathed, and I’d say that’s probably a bone to be thrown to the Afro fans. They show some amount of respect toward each other, and I can appreciate that.

Overall impression.

Rundown: Cool and informative.

Animation: Beautiful.

Explanation: Really solid.

Rating: 9.2/10. It’s not as long as something like Strange vs. Fate, but it’s still a really awesome episode, and it’s a really good one too.

Next Time…

This looks like it’s going to get bloody…

… I’m going to need that “Blood and Gore” warning for this one too, huh?

If uh… If anyone wants to help out in regards to Lucy’s character, that would be spectacular.

Is there a fight that you want me to review? - Send an ask/request, and I’ll look into it! 

Do you want to read my fanfic based around DEATH BATTLE itself? click here!

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you next time for…

Cassidy vs. Lucy. It’s not a creative name, but it rhymes.

[brianhuntress]

6 Ways You Can Reinvent Yourself As An Artist

Let this be a meditation not only on how we are thinking of our work but how we are presenting it to others, how we are presenting our crafts in general, and what value we are adding to the people around us. 1. READ BOOKS BUT NOT JUST ART BOOKS This is something I have done and that I see in people a lot. Reading technique books or biographies about artists, or even literature about a specific movement is a great way to learn but I have found it even more helpful to do the following: I read anything from Victorian Science Fiction, to old school pulp magazines, to Benjamin Franklin's auto biography. There is no wrong way to do this but here's the punch line is: Reading books, articles, or text outside of your realm of knowledge, craft, and thinking will rocket you into a new world of ideas and offer you perspectives you never would have had, thus enriching your artistic experience and the experience of your viewers. 2. ASK ALL OF THE QUESTIONS ALL OF THE TIME This can push you in one of two ways that I can think of off the top of my head and it solely depends on your execution. You can either 1. Look super invasive and weird because you asked another artist super personal questions or random mundane ones, or 2. You can look very interested, attentive, and sharp because you were asking relevant, intelligent questions about another person's work. This is the best way to not only learn new techniques and explore different concepts but it will draw people in to remember you and want to talk to you more. I've said this before but people love talking about themselves and even more so, artists love talking about their work. So in short, asking the right questions to the right people at the right time will not only teach you a whole helluva a lot, but it will open doors to new opportunities, collaborations, and friendships that might not have been there before. 3. LEAVE YOUR STUDIO AND ENTER THE VOID One big thing we all here about as artists and creators is maintaining and thriving on our social media or online presence. If you are doing this and succeeding, congratulations, but if you are only doing this and so much so that you haven't closed your laptop or slept for 36 hours straight you might want to test the water with the other type of presence that is also important for the artist: real life. I'm not one of those people that think the world is ending because of iPhones. I'm on my own devices all of the time too, but one thing I think is just as important, if not way more than a social media presence, is actually being present in your own environment. This means if you're in a band you should be at every show in your city whenever you can, and if you are an artist you should be at all of the gallery openings, all of the art markets, and all of the open studios you can get to. You don't have to be that crazy about it but I really want to stress is that it is vitally important for the creator to be out, in front of people, and ready to ask questions and listen. Your presence will grow and people will know you as long as you actually leave your studio. 4. BRING VALUE TO YOUR NETWORK And to your audience. Think of Bob Ross. The great landscape painter of our time. He had an amazing talent, a great attitude, and painting techniques that very few people have but here's what really set him apart: He gave away his secrets. The best artists and creators I have seen and that have gained the most respect have one thing in common: They bring endless value to their audience. If you are a talented guitar player in a band you should do tutorials for your songs on youtube. If you are digital artist with a focus in animation you should write articles with photos on how to design and create characters. If you are a taxidermist that only works with equine specimens you should film a documentary on your entire process or make a video about your origin story and how you got into such an oddly specific craft. The reality is, your fanbase and your following are more than likely inspired by you as well as your art and if you were able to offer some humanity, knowledge, and insight into what makes you up and how you do what you do, it could benefit your audience and even more so, it will benefit you. 5. SELF DEPRECATION IS HELL BUT SELF EXAMINATION IS KEY This is a huge one for me. As artists, many feel that there's a healthy amount of self deprecation necessary for creating good art but I'm not sure if this is true. Of course its good to rip on yourself sometimes or not take yourself to seriously but it comes to a point where you have to decide if you want to keep hating yourself and selling yourself short or you want to participate in your own version of frequent and honest self examination and inventory. Its pretty normal for a person to end up in a place where they feel angry, self conscious, or self worth starts to tear and fray, but if you can create a system that allows you smash the self sabotage and maintain confidence and self worth those moments will start to become fewer and far between. Something I like to think is that having a big ego is easy and runs hand in hand with hating yourself but having confidence, self awareness, gratitude, and self checking system that allows you to maintain it, is the true accomplishment. 6. ABANDON YOUR NEED FOR CONSISTENCY Lets take an artist that has been painting landscapes and flower pot still lifes since they graduated RISD in 1989. This artist has developed a cult following that LOVES these landscapes and eats up the still lifes. They spend their mornings painting with finest Winsor & Newton tones in their Province Town beach side studio everyday. Things seem good and dandy but for the last three years all of those Pollock paintings at the MFA Boston have been catching their eye and all the boring ass landscapes they've been painting for 15 years are making them want drink acetone. Abstract expressionism that this flower pot, RISD graduate has never dreamed of making and never will because of the dire need of supply and demand and the sense of urgency to deliver the landscapes and still life paintings to their audience. They will paint still landscapes forever.. This story is a flaming crock of shit. To me, an art style by name or feeling, is not something you create. You just draw the way you draw and your following and critics put a name on it for you. Its the same thing with music. A punk band that spends every practice debating what type of punk they are going to be will never write any punk songs at all. Something someone told me is that your art style has nothing to do with its aesthetic. When you are dead and gone the historians and appraisers will line up all of your work in one big exhibition and the only thing in common any of those pieces will have is the little white paper with your name on it under all of the paintings. The only consistency in all of your pieces thats important is the fact that you made them all. Don't let imagery, aesthetic, or audience demands dictate what you create or what you want to publish. Art is a journey, an epic, and something that will bend and change the more you explore it. CONCLUSION Art is a journey, an epic, and something that will bend and change over time and there is no one piece of advice that will be fitting for the work of all artists. Take these ideas written above and add them to your bank of knowledge. Pass them on in conversation when you are speaking with a peer and if they helped you at all, take them and share them with your own circles. I may be in the business of making art and creating but my top priority above all else is serve others and bring value to other peoples lives. Whatever your version of that may be you need to go do it.

[thefantasysuite]

Arie’s Bachelor Preview

Finally. Maybe it just seems longer because I didn’t post much during ette or paradise, but it’s about time we got some new info on the OG of dating shows. The cast has finally been released. I’m going to assume that like me, your heart skipped a beat when you got that google alert stating as much. I glanced at a few pictures, but have held off reading anything about any of the ladies to make sure I captured first impression. You wouldn’t stand out there greeting each as she comes out of the limo and then get black out drunk and not remember what you first thought the next morning. Unless of course you are a contestant on this show and have already stalked the bachelor for months on end. In that case, pass the alcohol.

If you’ve followed this blog at all you know I like to stay away from off season drama. You had your 15 mins of fame. As Mr. Wonderful eloquently puts it:

But since it’s the season of giving I’ll give you a quick update on last year’s bachelor, Nick. Him and Vanessa broke up. The end. But seriously, this is what they looked like right after they were able to make their ‘arrangement’ public:

Yeah. Good job convincing everyone that was going to last.

Alright Moving right along. The bachelor this year is Arie Luyendyk:

I don’t remember feeling strongly about Arie one way or another when he was on. I do remember feeling strongly about the bachelorette that he was chasing after however:

Back to Arie. He comes from a family that likes to race cars. The F1 circuit to be precise. For all intents and purposes I’m going to group that in with NASCAR because the jokes are easier. Matt and Trey got 22 minutes out of making fun of NASCAR:

I can do a season of the bachelor.

Arie’s bachelor announcement doesn’t come without some controversy. He may have broken up with girlfriend right before he became the bachelor:

http://www.etonline.com/exclusive-arie-luyendyk-jrs-ex-girlfriend-says-she-was-blindsided-bachelor-casting-their-breakup

It also appears Arie has a type when you look at his ex compared to the former bachelorette:

Enough about Arie. Let’s see the skanks that will be racing after his heart (get used to a bunch corny puns relating to his former profession)

Ali

Ali is a personal stylist. Got a quick tip for Ali. Next time ABC offers to have their professional stylist help you out before your headshot, don’t say “I got this”. The most embarrassing thing she listens to is Nickelback. While unrelated, please check out this clip of another Chad Kroeger fighting his local government to keep house parties a god given right:

The Beastie Boys would be proud

Amber

3 people dead or alive you’d like to have lunch with. You can tell a lot about a person in how they answer. Starting your list off with Kim Kardashian says more than enough. What can you possibly ask her in which the honest answer isn’t “sex tape”? How did you get so famous? Sex tape. How did you break into the industry? Sex tape. What drove your step dad to become a woman? Sex tape

Annaliese

I feel like Annaliese misunderstood the question 5 things you can’t live without. She listed 3 different types of food and 2 emotions. I think the producers are looking for you to say something like wi-fi and your favorite hoody. She also listed Miley Cyrus and Chrissy Tiegan as people she would want to be. Guessing there isn’t much going on upstairs with this one

Ashley

Ashley looks super boring. Doubt she makes it past night 1. She hates doing laundry because it takes her a week to go from washing her clothes, to folding, to putting them away. Pft. I leave that shit in the dryer and go grab a pair of socks and underwear as needed. Amateur

Becca K

Becca has quite the jawline on her. Hopefully she has a smokin hot body. Becca is a publicist. You know who was also a publicist? Fucking Shauna:

Something tell me Becca is publicizing people more like Johnny Drama and less like Vincent Chase

Bekah M

Bekah is very intriguing. This might be a first, but her age isn’t listed in her bio. And I really want to know what it is. Her profession is nanny so I would assume she’s pretty young. But past contestant Corrine also had a nanny and she was pretty old. I know it’s because of the hair, but I’m getting a Morena Baccarin vibe:

I’ve got my eye on this one

Bibiana

I’m guessing Bibiana has quite a bit of personality. This has to be the girl other girls hate, right? She’s an executive assistant and former NFL cheerleader. I vote Bibi as most likely to tell everyone that she isn’t there to make friends and to start calling Arie her man

Bri

Bri is a sports reporter. I needed to look it up to be sure:

Now I’m not saying someone that’s already been on TV can’t fall in love with someone else on TV. But if she gets to the final 3 this season, fans like her, and a sideline job happens to open up with ABC she may have her eyes on a prize other than Arie

Brittane J

At the risk of making an off(on)-color joke, I’m going to guess that is a new way to spell Brittany. And is she winking? Lunch with 3 people dead or alive she went with Whitney Houston, Bernie Sanders, Beyonce. When the bill came Bernie made sure that Whitney Houston’s estate paid for her meal before the new tax bill gets rid of the death tax. (Hey. She got political, not me)

Brittany T

Seeing her listed as Brittany T confirms that the previous girl does pronounce it as Brittany. This Brittany would like to have lunch with Chris Evans, Hillary Clinton (shudder), and Beyonce. When Chris Evans goes on a coke binge he better hope he stays away from the bathtub to relax afterwards (See Whitney Houston above). Also, do you think Hillary ordered a side of beef at lunch? I remember when she got chucked into a van like a side of beef at a 9/11 memorial ceremony:

#neverforget

Caroline

I’m out on Caroline. She doesn’t have a dog yet, but can’t wait to find someone to “co-parent” a dog with. You would be a dog owner, not a parent. I bet she also can’t wait to “play house” with Arie. She’s going to be that girl that Arie tries to have a serious conversation with and can’t stop giggling while talking about how much fun they have together

Chelsea

Chelsea is boring and generic. Sticks out in no way. Not pretty. Not ugly. Thinks France is the most romantic city. Listed grade school sports as something she did competitively (read: unathletic). Likes warm weather, but not too warm. I don’t see anything here. I suspect an early pass (racing jokes) from Arie

Jacqueline

I’m trying to figure out who Jackie looks like. Right now I’m stuck on a poor (very poor) man’s Winnie Cooper:

I don’t think that’s the right answer, so I am open to suggestions. I also kind of wanted to look up Danica McKellar so I’m not mad. This will never work out though. She keeps talking about her career and how important it is to her. Career first women don’t win. They usually become the bachelorette. Not that I’m suggesting that will happen. Just that she has no chance

Jenna

Jenna is a social media manager from Indiana. Speaking of, I need to fire mine. When she eventually reads this post I expect https://twitter.com/thebachtweets to be updated with the new season flair. Jenna’s favorite show is Friends. I’m going to diagnose her as Monica. Looks like she is bubbly, can provide some comic relief when necessary, and probably has a nerdy brother named Ross that keeps finding ways to screw up everything with his much hotter girlfriend. How you doin’??

Jenny

Jenny’s most afraid of picking the wrong person to marry. I guess you can’t make that mistake if the bachelor picks you. She probably has nightmares about being the bachelorette. Many of her answers indicate that she’s outdoorsy and loves adventure. She looks just the opposite. Maybe her idea of camping is hanging out in a motor home watching netflix while a fire burns outside

Jessica

Jessica’s occupation is television host and I immediately couldn’t wait to look up which show. Then I saw she was from Canada, which isn’t real tv. Is Degrasi still on? But then I looked her up and it’s worse than Canadian tv host. She has a youtube channel called Jessica Carroll TV.......(So what if I watched the video ‘Get Pool Party Ready). So we have smoking hot girl living in LA that’s used to the camera. Guess who might get called out first for not being there for the right reasons

Kendall

I feel like Kendall has a drink in one or both hands of this picture. This chick is weird. If she could be any animal she went with bat. Most romantic gift was an alligator hand holding an iron heart in a jar because she collects taxidermy. As long as it wasn’t an alligator holding a human hand. Carl Weathers would have been pissed:

Krystal

Krystal is one of those fitness nuts. I feel like that’s a profession/hobby that never does well on this show either. She says she is most afraid of unused potential. Lol. She must moonlight as a life coach. Trying to remember back to when Arie was on the bachelorette he didn’t strike me as a real go getter. I feel like Krystal is going to push him to be better and Arie will end up channeling his brother in name and hit her with:

Lauren B

I think Lauren B goes far. Pretty girl. No weird answers. What is my first rule about going on this show? Don’t be weird. She has a second degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. By the way, whatever happened to Billy Blanks?

Lauren G

Lauren has the real descriptive occupation of executive recruiter. Her favorite tv show is ‘This is Us’. I’ve never seen an episode, but based on the people that watch it and from what I’ve heard it sounds like one long ass chick flick. It’s like tv networks needed to try and scoop up the ‘Parenthood’ audience that loves mushy feel good/make you cry stories and we ended up here. Those shows are the worst (And no, the bachelor is not the scripted reality version of those shows).

Lauren J

Lauren is honest. Asked if she’s neat or messy, she concedes to being messy. Doesn’t like playing games with guys, just tells them how she feels. Eats full meals in bed. Can’t live without mascara. She’s also 33 so no time to beat around the bush. I think she’ll end up getting super jelly when she sees Arie making out with other girls. I’m gonna say she ends up in the top 5. Arie wants a young girl to parade around for a little while. Lauren is probably trying to have kids tomorrow

Lauren S

The run on Lauren’s continues. We’ve got another social media manager on our hands. It’s funny thinking back to the first season of the bachelor and knowing how that job wouldn’t have even existed. When asked if she could be anyone in the world she went with ‘anyone in Taylor Swift’s girl squad’. You wouldn’t want to be....I don’t know....Taylor Swift instead? Not very lofty girls for this one. She’s an early out

Maquel

Maquel? Whatever. Guess we are just making names up at this point. Her favorite holiday is Halloween. She loves dressing up and creepy/scary stuff. I’m guessing she is more Cady and less Regina:

Marikh

Maybe the weirdest answer to a question that I’ve seen:

What? So you don’t want to accidentally confirm an incorrect assumption? Keep in mind that she was asked this question, had time to think it over, decided to go with that. I think Marikh might break down if asked where she wants to go to eat. “I love Olive Garden but I hate their breadsticks and salad and pasta so let’s go there”

Nysha

Nysha looks like she’s embarrassed to take this photo and have an official Bachelor headshot that will live forever. I don’t see Nysha doing real well this season. Her answer on favorite tv show and fictional character comes off as a bit “I don’t need no man”. Try not to make a scene when you don’t get a rose

Olivia

Olivia is 23. She looks even younger than that. Favorite book is 50 shades of grey. Not sure she was old enough to read that when it first came out. Do you think she secretly hopes Arie has a sex dungeon? Probably would have been a good intern for Matt Lauer. 

Seinne

I’m going to guess that Seinne is this year’s Rachel (you know what I’m getting at). Favorite tv show is Game of Thrones. I don’t care for the show. Watched the first season and couldn’t believe I wasted that much time. Don’t get the appeal at all. If I hear Dilly Dilly one more time I’m going to fucking lose it

Tia

Tia could win this year, be the girl that everyone hates, or be the next bachelorette. I’ll know by the end of the first episode, but right now I have no clue. I’m looking for key things in her answers and she says ‘sassy’ as well as having gone to a swingers resort. I’m going to go with the one everyone loves to hate. But I reserve the right to change my mind

Valerie

Valerie is a server in Nashville (failed country music artist). She’s 25 and has over 50 Halloween costumes. Maybe she celebrates it multiple times a year. I just hope she doesn’t have that thick twang when she talks. That’s so annoying

There they are. The desperate fame whores looking to make their mark January 1st. I do wonder about airing the premiere on the 1st. I know there isn’t a ton of crossover between individuals when it comes to the bachelor and college football, but I can imagine a fight or two between couples when it’s the football semi-finals vs bach premiere. The game airs on ESPN which is of course owned by ABC’s parent company of Disney. I would suggest holding off a week but the national championship game is played that next Monday. 

See ya after the premiere

- Nick

[wyre-interactive]

Devlog - August 2017

I just can’t do one of these on time can I?

Note: Another change in the way GIFs/GFYs are handled, but this should be the last one. You should be able to now get a high quality .gif version as a preview, but it’s still recommended that you view the GFYCAT version linked under each gif for higher quality playback.

So as you might expect from us being a small indie team struggling to actually release a game, we’ve done a bit more work on the game we didn’t originally intend on doing much work on. A vast majority of the work we’ve done is on our still yet-to-be-named asymmetric FPS. For now we’ll just call it Asymmetry to make things easier. Also that’s always been the code name of the project from the start.

Asymmetry

Where do I even begin with what we’ve done with this game. How about I begin with where I began? With gameplay elements slowly expanding in what I needed to test, it was only obligatory that I made a map for the game. Now keep in mind that while this is definitely a concept for a map, it’s not final at all. Also some of the lighting hasn’t been properly built yet, so ignore the weird dark lines that you might see over some things. The map has been slightly altered as the month has gone on, so sorry if there’s not a huge amount of continuity in that regard.

The map is based in a warehouse, slightly inspired by that one Half-Life Deathmatch map with all the crates.

Here’s the shipping container model I needed to make for the map.

Overhead view. The overhead is shown whilst shit is loading in/inbetween rounds.

Also, as networking became more complex, it became obvious that I needed a menu to make everything work. I want to make sure it’s not like some games where you start a server and there’s a dice roll whether it’ll actually work or not, and I want to use a server browser as the main method of finding a server, but at the same time, I don’t want switching from a matchmaking system to a server browser too daunting.

I have a concept for the background which I’ll leave until later because it’s not super important, but for now, this is what it looks like;

Yes, we have a donation button in the top right at the moment, I’ll get to that in a bit.

Here’s the server browser system (this is a slightly earlier version but it conveys the concept).

(GIFV)

And yes, it goes up to 100 players. I’m not going to make it as encouraged in the final version, as I think 100 players is just going to be stupidly tedious. I’m probably going to have five different match sizes; 6 (tiny), 12 (small), 24 (normal), 32 (large), and 64 (massive), then I’ll have a custom option.

Now, let’s talk buisness model.

At the early release, I’m thinking of making it pay what you want on Game Jolt, with the recommended price being $3, just to cover the server costs (the Patreon should help too, good thing is the more popular it gets, the more people will pay, the more money can go into server costs). Then by full launch, probably on Steam, I’ll make it somwhere between $10-$20, depending on the amount of content by that point. And you might be thinking, “it’s a multiplayer game made in the last 10 years, what about all the cosmetics and shit?”. Well, whether you like it or not, you’re right, that’s probably a necessity. My theory is that people just won’t be able to stay invested in the game without that sort of aspect being involved. Also, with a small number of weapons it’ll become boring, so I’d like it if it got changed up a little. Here’s all you need to know on weapons and skins in the final game:

Firstly, all regular, unskinned weapons will be free and drop normally, and it will be impossible to obtain normal weapons in any other way.

Drop rates will be predictable. Probably something like one match a day.

You won’t be able to get a drop of a weapon you already have.

There will be seasonal weapons and weapons added every now and then, and these will just get added to the drop pool. The idea is that if you’ve played a lot and already have every weapon, you can just play for a few hours and get all the new ones without wasting time.

New players will automatically get an amount of randomly chosen weapons after their first match, the amount depending on how many weapons we have in the game and what feels balanced.

The only 100% confirmed cosmetic idea I have is weapon skins.

I’m also thinking about some other concepts, like “super skins” which would change the entire model, and animation packs to make the animations fit a style you like.

To begin with, we’ll sell the skins at a set price (probably under 60 cents each, because seriously any more than that and it’s getting ridiculous in my opinion).

Eventually, we may open the floodgates for people to sell their skins, etc. on the community market.

Fuck loot crates. I mean who wants to get a theoretical box for you to spend $2.49 on just to maybe get something you might want but probably something shit.

You can ask any questions through any of our contacts, or suggest shit in the same way.

Now, other than that thing, I have been doing/thing about some other things (what was that sentence?)

New reload animations, because they’re always fun;

(GFY)

(GFY)

I also did some work on dual pistols, but it was scrapped because it looked and worked like shit.

Here’s what all the reload animations look like ingame;

(GFY)

Yeah I’ll improve the hud shut up.

Now, I also now know what the base weapons will be in the final product.

On the attackers (the side with lots of people), you’ll have the following;

Pistol (what you’ve seen so far)

Shotgun

Assault Rifle

On the solo side, you’ll have these things;

Dual pistols (twice the ammo + fire rate of the regular pistol)

Double barelled shotgun

SMG (fires twice as fast as the Assault Rifle)

I’ve been thinking of having melee weapons eventually as well. Anyway, these will be in a simple groups. Namely;

Attackers

Pistols

Shotguns

Rifles

Solo

Akimbos

Heavy shotguns

Automatic weapons

These are placeholder names, they’ll probably be better by the time the game’s out. You’ll be able to equip one weapon per group before a match, then you’ll be able to choose what weapon you want each round in a match.

Oh yeah and hit detection works now mostly, but we’ll have two modes to choose from. The easilly-hacked-but-low-latency client side networking, or the difficult-to-hack-but-higher-latency server side networking. With two options, you can play with low latency if you’e playing a match with your friends, but you won’t have to worry about hacking when you’re playing with randoms. Now, for the record, we will try and implement some basic anti cheat on client side mode, like the server will pick up if the player is moving too far in a few seconds than what should be possible, and it’ll check ammo usage, etc, but there’s only so much you can do.

Anyway, moving on from that;

Side quests

Behold! The new section for updates on things that aren’t games, like the website, which just recently got a design update that you can see here! We also fixed some issues with Shift’s site here, so now it uses YouTube to host the video. Now while you’re on the newly updated site, you’ll notice some new buttons. That is all.

I also did some conceptual stuff for the story and mechanics of Overwritten and Reformatted, but that’s not the sort of thing I want to release.

Game Spotlights

Now, because I sometimes want to show off “AAA” games, I’ve renamed this to Game Spotlight(s). I still want to try to always have an indie game. Now, keep in mind indie means indie, not hidden gem. I can’t find a hidden gem every month.

First, an indie FPS by Pixel Titans published by Devolver earlier this year:

STRAFE

This game got slightly mixed reviews at launch, but I think it’s pretty great if you get it. Just leave a GB of space for this little game to play when you’ve got to pass a period of time too long for you to spend playing some casual game or browsing Reddit, but not long enough to spend playing a game for an hour or so. Actually that’s a terrible idea because you can’t save it although if you could it would be perfect for those times.

Next, and I’m not sure if this classifies as a AAA game or an indie game, but fucking hell I haven’t stopped playing it for months. Like months and months.

(Steam)

Killing Floor 2

A bit of an older one but fuck it I didn’t say I was going to provide new games monthly did I? I played a bit of this when it was early in early access (so early) and it wasn’t great. It had balance issues, didn’t have enough perks, was too far from the original, some perks didn’t have very streamlined upgrades (in fact Demolitions still doesn’t really). But now, it’s pretty brilliant. It doesn’t have the unmatched teamplay or combos from the original, but of all the wave based zombie-like-thing shooters on the market at the moment that aren’t dead, this is the best. Yes, better than L4D2. I reckon L4D2 isn’t all that great to be honest but hey.

(Steam)

[Also, not sponsored, but it’s on Humble Monthly this month for $12 along with 5 other unknown games if that suits your fancy]

Also, shout out to the minimalist Chrome theme which I made a while ago, but I never really said much about. I was sick of using darkish themes, so I made my own. Some call it stubborn, I call it Dark.Green. Get it here.

Anyway, that’s it for this month. See you next month, probably late.

Meanwhile I’ll keep playing Killing Floor 2 and stuff. cough cough probably spending money on the Bethesda sale on at the moment cough cough.

Thanks,

Dec_bot

[joyofcrime-elinorhigh]

Powerpuff Grils 2016 REVIEW: Part 1

So for those who are somehow unaware, the Powerpuff Girls has recently gotten a new rebooted series that premiered on Cartoon Network on April 4th 2016. People's opinions have been varied on the series, some people say it's worse that Hitler, while other people are saying that it's worse than the illegitimate lovechild of Hitler and some kind of eviler Super-Hitler. Okay, before you kill I'm obviously joking, but yeah people really REALLY hate this reboot! People are comparing it to Teen Titans Go! While I agree with some of the criticism made I feel people are being a bit...harsh on the reboot. And if you don't like the series I get it. I understand why people wouldn't like this show, it has serious problems. I'm not going to call you hater or anything if you don't like this show. I just want to give my opinion because everybody seems to have unanimously decided that this show is bad and somebody has to have the unpopular opinion. If nobody does then the majority opinion will be seen as fact, and I believe that there is always pros and cons to any piece of art. All I ask is that you don't hate me to much for having this opinion. I'll respect you and you respect me, and if you have some thoughts about the reboot leave it in the comments bellow, I would love to have a  civil discussion about it. Also I will be breaking this review up into multiple parts because have a lot I want to talk about. And if you don't want to read something this long that's fine, but if you like deep analyses about a cartoon for children and watching some idiot try to be insightful and funny than strap on in and get ready, this is my Review of the 2016 Powerpuff Girls Reboot. Point One: The Talent Behind the Show. It must suck to be Craig McCracken. According to the man himself Cartoon Network did approach him to be in charge of the reboot but he declined because of him contract with Disney. Than Wander Over Yonder ends and he's out of a job and has to watch commercials for the new Powerpuff Girls show, that could of been his new job but he said no. This isn't even I joke I kind of feel bad for him. Anyway on to the point, a lot of people where angry that Craig McCracken is not in charge of the reboot, saying that without the original creator of the show the series cannot be good, as the 98' series dropped in quality according to most fans after he left the show after season four to work on Foster's. I understand this argument but I disagree with it. This show is a reboot. Now everyone has a different internal definition of what is and isn't a reboot, but to me a reboot is when you take the same characters but set the story in a new universe, while changing the details of the show to fit a new tone or style. In my opinion getting Craig McCracken back to remake his own show doesn't make much sense because he most likely wouldn't make the show that different form the 98' series. Craig McCracken may have created the girls but personally I would mind seeing some new talented artist put there own spin on the property. Powerpuff Girls has always been a franchise, remember Powerpuff Girls Z? People are getting so mad at this reboot and it's not even the only reboot. People seem to only care about who isn't working on the show in stead of focusing on who is. This show has some good people being it, such as Bob Boyle who worked on "Clarance" and created "Wow Wow Wubzy", Nick Jenning's who was an art director on "Adventure Time", and painted many of the title cards, and Julia Vickman the creator of the popular pilot "12 Forever." While Craig McCracken has criticized the show for not getting the original voice cast back, and criticized a few bad looking shots he has given this show his blessing, at least according to voice of the Mayor himself, Tom Kenny. I mean it's possible Tom Kenny was lying and Craig McCracken doesn't approve of the show but I see no reason to assume this. And speaking of the voice cast... Point Two: The Voice Cast. I'm going to be honest, I'm a little disappointed in the choice of voice cast, but not necessarily for the reasons you might think. I think they should of changed more. I was hoping for a fresh, new interpretation of the characters of the Powerpuff Girls universe, but in stead we're just getting the same voices we already got for six seasons. And if you wanted the old actors back that's fine, I understand why. The old show had an all star cast of great voice actors but for me and what I was looking for I was a little let down. What I kind of don't get though is why everybody is mad at the new voice actors when there are only a few new voices and 90% of the cast are people from the original series, but whatever. I don't mind the new voices for the girls honestly, I mean there not great but I wouldn't call them bad. Kristen Li is probably my favorite of the new voice actress, as she just has a really cute voice. Though I will admit she can't really yell very well in the Bubbles voice, which makes things kind of awkward when things are suppose to be intense or if she's suppose to be angry. Haley Mancini is a lot less whiny in her version of Princess, whether or not that's a plus or not is up to you. Jennifer Hale is now Miss Bellum and she seems about the same as Jennifer Martin, at least to me. There's a lot controversy over the original actresses for the girls not being called back to reprise there roles. While I find weird that everybody except them was called back I just don't feel like this is a big issue. They've talked about how there mad that they weren't even offered there old roles back but why should they automatically get first dibs? Just because they voiced them in the old show? They don't own the characters, and on the matter of Bubbles Tara Strong wasn't even the ORIGINAL voice, Kath Soucie was (She voiced Bubbles in the pilot, technically making her the ORIGINAL voice.) I mean just because an old cast member is still willing to reprise a role doesn't mean they always get it, and they way they seemed so angry about it on social media just seems weird to me. I mean it's not like when Ben Affleck was announced to voice Batman in "Batman v Superman" Christian  Bale went on twitter was all like "Well, I didn't order a stab in the heart today!" It would be like if in the upcoming "Justice League Action" people where angry that they didn't get Adam West back to voice Batman. I mean he was the original voice of animated Batman and he still does voice acting. I don't want to be mean to these actors, as they did pretty much voice my childhood, I just really don't understand why these actors seemed to think they deserved first dibs on this show. If you wanted the old cast back I'm not bashing you at all, I would never do that. They are great voice actors, I just feel like this whole controversy was handled very unprofessionally (But what the heck do I know?) Point Three: The Animation. I want to make it clear here that I'm not going to just blindly praise everything in this show. If I did that I would lose all my credibility as a critic and I've only had that credibility for four paragraphs so far. Anyway back on point I think the animation has it's advantages and it's disadvantages. The colors are really bright and the girls are particular in this version which makes things even brighter. This is actually a flaw to the show, at least for me, because it can often come off as to bright. That being said scene at night or with special lighting makes things look really awesome! The dark colors contrast the bright colors and looks really good. It feels like the writers knows this because a lot of episodes seem to take place at night, or in the rain, or with some kind of special lighting, so they do work to there strengths. Now that being said that doesn't mean the animation is always good. If you look online you will see a lot of awkward shots of off model animation or janked up perspectives. I don't mind this two much as there usually on screen for less than a second but technically speaking it's not very good,. Granted a lot of shows have animation errors, but this series seems to have a lot more than other shows Cartoon Network out there. My theory is that it's because it's a lot of modern animators with 90's character designs and they don't know how to draw in that style as well as they would a modern style. There's also one scene where they use a live action stock photo as a background and while that is bad, especially sense it wasn't even treated like a joke it was only one joke and it was in a dream scene where things are suppose to look off. It's not like in Teen Titans Go! Where they use stock photos as backgrounds all the time, so I don't feel like it's anything to get that worked up about. The designs of the characters are pretty much the same as the old show except more circular. Bubbles has scrunches now, which I like because now there's an actual reason on why and how Bubbles has her pigtails. Buttercup has a cow lick and Blossoms bow is bigger, but those differences are so small I'm not even sure if there worth talking about in detail. I like the changes, again I wish they altered the designs more, especially with the villains. I mean look how different the characters look in each TMNT or Batman incarnation. Now the biggest problem with the animation is that for some reason the animation is really slow. I don't get why as the theme song music video has some of the most fluid animation I've ever seen in a Cartoon Network series. This slow animation really hinders the action sequences and I really hope this improves in later episodes. I mean some fight scene look good but it could definitely use some work. The impact of the punches just don't feel like they have the same amount of weight as they should and it makes the girls feel a lot less strong than in the old show. Granted this show focuses on the fight scenes a lot less than in the old series but I still think it's a pretty big problem. And that is part one of my multi-part Powerpuff Girl reboot series review. I know I haven't really talked much about the show yet but other people have been talking about these points for months and I just wanted to give my opinions on what other people have been saying. If you disagree with my point that's fine, I'm not try to convince people to agree with me, I just want to show a new view point, and show that not everyone has to like or hate something for the same reasons. I hope that even if you disagree with me you still found this review entertaining. What do you think of the new reboot? I would love to know in the comments (as long as we can keep it civil.) Part two should be up soon, where I'll talk about the show proper. Please Fav, follow and comment if you liked this review and tell me if you would want me to do more of these. Since I can do this all on my tablet it would not effect Elinor High or Joy of Crime in anyway as of right now. And if you like things like this maybe check out some episodes of my Cartoon Thought series (sorry if I may have repeated some things from my Reboot Cartoon Thought and my PPG Cartoon Thought, but I feel it was kind of inevitable.

DA Link: https://www.deviantart.com/joyofcrimeart/journal/Powerpuff-Girls-2016-REVIEW-Part-1-602969689

[ntrending]

This microscope could look for life on Europa

New Post has been published on https://nexcraft.co/this-microscope-could-look-for-life-on-europa/

This microscope could look for life on Europa

Earth, far off now, looks like an unpopulated set of continents surrounded by empty ocean. You’d never know that all kinds of life—from staph to elephants to humans—move all over its surface. I just spent two years in a wide orbit around the blue marble, the first step in a circui­tous journey toward Jupiter. We circled around the globe in this Space Launch System cargo capsule until our position was just right for Earth’s gravity to fling us toward the Jovian planet.

That isn’t meant to be my new homestead, though. I’m headed for Europa, a smaller sphere. Its exterior is sheathed in a miles-thick layer of ice. But underneath, enwombed like I am in this lander, there might be an ocean. Scientists say that with its water and its chemistry, it could be the place in the solar system (besides Earth) most likely to have life. Other spacecraft carrying other instruments have floated past it: ­Pioneer, ­Voyager, Galileo (great names, right?). Looking down with their farsighted cameras, they didn’t see any beings waving white flags. In fact, no human-made device has ever spotted definitive signs of alien existence. But maybe they simply didn’t—or couldn’t—look close enough.

I can. Hello, I’m Shamu. (Isn’t that another great name?) Seeing things close up is my raison d’être. I’ll land on Europa’s icy surface and a drill will cut down into the moon. I’ll suck up its liquid essence and spy magnified details that no one has seen before. Maybe my view will show only water, neat, no microbes. But maybe not.

Although willing and able to travel, Shamu—formally named the Submersible Holographic Astrobiology Microscope with Ultraresolution—is still very much on Earth, in a basement lab of the Science, Research and Teaching Center at Portland State University, where science writers can meet it. A rugged field instrument, Shamu uses lasers to create 3D movies of microorganisms moving in a liquid sample. While similar tools exist, the ones that boast high definition are too delicate to take into the wilderness, and the tough ones aren’t precise enough to see small bacteria. Shamu’s fans, meanwhile, think it’s well-suited to investigate not just weird life in Earth’s extreme environments, but also whether there is life beyond our planet.

Shamu occupies a small space in the lab of scientist Jay Nadeau. One Friday in March, Nadeau is at work, leaning against a high rolling chair with two sweaters swung on its back. She wears another sweater (it’s the Pacific Northwest, after all), featuring a set of alpacas marching around her torso. There’s a Ridley road bike she uses for commuting stashed against the wall, and a helmet next to a CPU. Nadeau is small in all dimensions, and intense, with short curls springing from her head. She walks past the wet-lab benches, to a back room where a graduate student sits at a computer and mostly ignores her.

There, Nadeau puts her hand against a mesh cage a few feet by a few feet. Inside sits a squirt bottle filled with 70 percent sterilizing ethanol solution, a roll of orange tape, and a Thorlabs temperature controller that resembles a cassette deck. But the primary occupant is a mysterious tube-like object, about 2 feet long and as wide as a wine bottle, bolted to a silver beam attached to the bottom of the cage.

This, Nadeau says, is “The Microscope.”

To be honest, Shamu looks pretty unassuming—like a toy spy glass. And the team Nadeau works with has created even simpler-looking ­versions. “We’ve made one that would fit inside a soda can,” she says, “with electronics the size of a few packs of cards.” For now, Shamu is grounded, relegated to looking at ice-cold water from Earth’s Arctic regions, super-salty desert water, and the wiggling extremophiles unlucky enough to be trapped there. Someday, though, Nadeau hopes it might get a peek at Europan liquid.

Shifting her view from one place to another is nothing new for Nadeau. She got her doctorate in theoretical physics and moved into the life sciences at Caltech after that. When she walked into her first biology lab, the newness was almost overwhelming. “Everything looks like vials of clear liquid,” she says. The first time another lab sent her a DNA sample, she couldn’t find the genes. They had sent her an almost-empty envelope. “There was nothing inside it except a pencil circle with a couple of notes on it and a piece of filter paper,” she says. The DNA, of course, was on the paper, and she had to soak it to coax the sample into solution.

Thrown into the chilly deep end, she eventually learned what she was doing and moved her research to NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory, where she stuffed microbes with luminescent nanoparticles that stuck to different chemicals, allowing Nadeau to track them. JPL was interested in how to obtain information about life on other planets. That quest starts with understanding life on Earth. And so Nadeau became part astrobiologist, and eventually a biomedical engineering professor at McGill University in Canada.

Around the time she started, in 2004, the country was doubling down on astrobiology—the study of signs of life off-Earth. The Canadian government had just funded a research network to identify various sites in northern North America that resemble other planets.

“You write a proposal of why you want to go, and you can go,” Nadeau says. And she did—to Nunavut territory, where cold springs flow from the permafrost, carrying strange little life-forms. On her regular trips to these Martian-like locations, she took along a fluo­res­cence microscope to test its capabilities for an extreme, alien landscape—and to see what might live in such a place. To use it, she injected each sample with fluorescent dye, which stained specific chemical targets. The microscope beamed high-intensity light at the sample, illuminating the dye, and the instrument’s optics produced a magnified image of the specimen, its ­relevant molecules shining bright.

The microscope could handle only small samples, however, making it harder to find the organisms she was looking for. And the instrument itself was both fragile and difficult to ­miniaturize, making it unsuitable for the otherworldly backcountry. Plus, if those dyes someday were to spill on the Martian surface, NASA’s planetary protection office might be all over her.

Next, she considered holographic microscopes because they could make 3D movies that played in real time, and didn’t require contaminating dyes or anyone to focus them. These instruments shoot lasers at the samples and, based on the way the samples scatter the light, construct an all-dimensions digital movie of what’s inside.

At first, Nadeau and her team used a commercially available scope, but it didn’t provide crisp-enough footage. When, in 2014, she remarked to colleagues at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory that she wished somebody could build a better one, they responded, “We can.”

Together they developed Shamu. She and the JPL engineers ­discuss the specs that each iteration should have, and then they build it. After, Nadeau schleps it into the field to see if it works. You don’t have to focus it, and it slurps up a lot of liquid. That’s a plus if the population is sparse and the sample isn’t teeming with life, which can be the case in harsh environments.

Simple though Shamu might seem on the outside, it contains hidden depths. It’s different from other field-ready holographic microscopes, which have just a single laser. Shamu splits one into two: One is the so-called reference beam, which shoots straight through a sample of pure water, encountering nothing. The other is the science beam, which passes through the sample—of glacier melt, or salty water, or (maybe someday) Europan ocean water—and changes based on what it encounters. The microscope combines and compares the two rays: The difference between the nothing beam and the something beam equals the living somethings inside. The process happens instantaneously, leaving microbes swimming in your vision. As Nadeau puts it, “We know life when we see it.”

More specifically, Nadeau believes that we know life when we see it moving, thus giving up seemingly indisputable evidence of its existence. “Our visual systems are probably better than any possible method of saying if this is alive or not.” We need, she believes, to just look.

Nadeau would prefer if we looked for alien life using Shamu, of course. She pats the copper mesh and goes over to the computer, where she tries to find a white paper she co-authored called “Just Look!” As in, look for actual extraterrestrial microbes, not just for indirect evidence of living beings, like chemicals that result from metabolism.

Nadeau can’t find the paper but reiterates the idea behind it like so: When scientists wanted to see what was swimming around the Mariana Trench, they put a chunk of bait on a stick and watched with a camera. Marine beasts swam out of their hiding spots and came up to investigate. The scientists caught it on film, and so learned that beings lived way down there. “This is exactly what we’re trying to do, but on the microbe scale,” Nadeau says.

On Europa, a drill would bore more than 10 centimeters into the ice—far enough to reach liquid that seeps through the surface cracks—and Shamu would have a look. But before the JPL-Nadeau team could try to persuade NASA to give the scope a shot, they needed to try it out on more-familiar territory. Like Greenland. Which they did, in 2015.

Sheathed in my case—bright-orange plastic, with a killer whale painted in black on it—I couldn’t see anything. But I’d heard we were going to Greenland, by way of Iceland. At the airport, someone sent me on a conveyor belt through a metal detector. Words came muffled through my walls. “It’s a scientific instrument,” someone said. Other voices asked so many questions about what I was, and what I was here to do, it made me existential.

Soon enough, there was a rumble. Thrust. Lift. Then stillness. I imagined it was my launch into space, until a voice came over the plane’s PA. “We’ll have you in Reykjavik shortly,” it said.

Eventually, the humans set me down somewhere and began asking more questions. Not to me, but about me. They were nervous. “Is this going to work?” they asked. And then they just left!

After what seemed like hours, they returned and shot cloudy water into my sample holder to test me. I found out they’d been to a place called the Blue Lagoon. It was gross, they said. You could see the skin cells from all the bathing people. And trash on the bottom. So of course there were microbes feeding out there.

I quickly showed them a hologram. They sounded relieved, and we continued to the Greenland Climate Research Center for some real work. It was freezing out, and the humans put on orange-and-black puffy jumpsuits. Their arms were as big as their legs. In a place they called “the swimming pool,” but which they never would have swum in, they cut 6 inches or so into the ice with a drill that looked like a pogo stick. “Not enough, not enough,” they kept saying, as they pulled frozen cylinders from the drill’s mouth, checking for the ice’s depth.

Finally, apparently, there was enough. They stuck me into a shallow hole they’d dug, to keep me at the same cold temperature as the environment, and fed me a sample. Again, as always, I made them a movie. Later I learned this was yet another test, not what we were really here to do.

At last, we went to Malene Bay. In a white, flat landscape surrounded by white, pointy mountains, the orange-swaddled people-blobs found a suitable spot, sucked out a cylinder of ice, set me down in the hole, and fed me a sample with a syringe. In a minute, they all exclaimed, “Ooooo!” They could see something—algae, diatoms, marine bacteria—swimming.

I could do this all day, and I did, showing them again and again what had been there the whole time, waiting for us to find it.

At her computer, Nadeau pulls up a SpaceNews article from the day before, a story that would cast doubt on Shamu’s future itin­erary: “Europa lander concept redesigned to lower cost and complexity,” reads the headline. The text describes a presentation that the Jet Propulsion Laboratory’s Kevin Hand, a deputy chief scientist in the solar system exploration directorate, made on March 28 to the National Academy of Sciences. According to Hand, the lander doesn’t need to look directly for actual life on the icy moon. “That’s a very high bar,” Hand said. “That bar runs the risk of setting expectations too high, perhaps.”

There’s historical context for that attitude. NASA has been hesitant to look explicitly for life ever since it sent the Viking missions to Mars, in 1976. Those landers carried several experiments to look for biosignatures. Two came back negative, but one study showed possible evidence that microbes were there metabolizing. The problem was that a promising chemical signature could come from, say, geology and not biology. Ultimately, scientific consensus settled on “not aliens.”

The agency has steered away from life detection ever since. “NASA has been kind of gun-​shy about adding a mission that’s looking for life,” astrobiologist Alison Murray says. She co-chaired the Europa lander’s science definition team, and has been close to the ­mission-​planning process. It’s partly to save face. But it’s also partly because that quest is hard.

“There’s no one thing you can look at and say, ‘Aha, life,’” says Curt Niebur, the lander’s program scientist. Unless, he continues, a fish swims in front of the camera.

Niebur doesn’t think that seeing small life swimming is the same thing. “Just look­ing” for and at moving specks isn’t enough. Instead, multiple lines of evidence need to provide the same biological answer.

Nadeau will get a chance to convince NASA of Shamu’s worthiness, though. In late May, the agency released an official call for Europa mission instrument proposals. Nadeau has been ready for months to submit hers.

It will be a while before the agency makes its final decision. Sometimes, big missions like this one seem to exist only in the perpetual future, like science fiction. There’s a 2013 movie called Europa Report in which humans go to the Jovian moon and discover single-celled organisms and a strange light beaming underneath the ice. It turns out to be a macro predator. Nadeau has seen the movie, and she thinks it reaches into reality. “Everybody’s saying, ‘We’re going to look for these molecular-scale biosignatures,’” she says. “In the back of their minds, they’re really hoping to see a sea monster.”

I’ve been in space for five years by the time anything exciting happens. When NASA sends up astronauts, it gives them movies and books and games and music. When NASA sends a microscope and a spectrometer to space, we get nothing.

So, like some prisoner in solitary, I think about what I’ll do when I get out. Slurp up samples. Shoot lasers at them. Use my software to find any swimmers. Beam data nearly 400 ­million miles to Earth. Do that for 20 days. Then die alone on an alien planet.

Near my transit’s end, I haven’t seen anything—big or small—in a long time. But I can feel the tugs from every mass out there.

When I sense the first shift after years of the constant, one-directional slog, I know it’s Jupiter’s moon Ganymede, slowing me down so I’m not going too fast relative to Europa.

For the next 18 months or so, another moon, Callisto, and Ganymede tug on the lander and spiral me toward Europa. I get closer and closer and closer and slower and slower and slower, till Europa finally swings me into its own orbit.

The long voyage is almost over. I coast toward the surface, and a thruster fires backward to slow the lander down. Its camera looks at the ice, and a laser fires, hunting for a flat spot. Then the lander faces straight down, and a sky crane lowers me 60 feet toward the icy crust.

The surface looks like a giant agar plate, full of bacteria that have spawned in global lines of streaked Staphylococcus. It’s an illusion, though. The grooves are actually cracks in the frozen glaze where water might burst through. Maybe a sea monster swims below. Or perhaps some single cells. Or only inanimate molecules. Regardless, I’m going to find out. So good night and good luck: I have work to do now.

This article was originally published in the Fall 2018 Tiny issue of Popular Science.

Written By Sarah Scoles

[athomewrebecka]

Team At Home with Rebecka – Rebecka Evans & Lisa Keys

It’s taken me five weeks to process my experiences at the 2018 World Food Championships, and figure out how to wrap the entire adventure into just one blog post. I’m going to try to accomplish that goal – so hold on tight, it was a wild and crazy ride. 

Returning To Defend My Title:

Returning to WFC 2018 as the reigning Bacon World Champion came with a new kind of pressure that I’ve never felt in Food Sport before. I was ready to take on the challenge of defending my 2017 Bacon World Title with an eager, exhilarating attitude , but I was also filled with apprehension and a weird sense of dread.  Winning the same category two years in a row has only been achieved twice in WFC history; twice by Suzanne Clark in the Pasta Category (which has since been retired), and twice by Liz Kratz in the Chili Category. The pressure to repeat a win is real, and going for a three-peat escalates the entire event to a whole new level. 

Contest induced insomnia began the moment I opened my WFC test kitchen. Instead of counting sheep to sleep, I spent most nights visualizing possible recipe creations that I could test the following day. I made dozens of recipes over the course of three months, and finally landed on a few concepts that needed a lot of work to become Top Ten worthy dishes. The sleepless nights and the never-ending task of developing recipes displays a brutally honest truth: the process of determining what a ten thousand dollar bacon recipe is an arduous process and not for the faint of heart. 

My Team:

To stand any chance at another victory, I knew I had to have a seasoned food sport enthusiast on the At Home with Rebecka team. When I learned that my friend Lisa Keys had decided to take a year off from competing at World Food Championships, I jumped at the chance to ask her to be my sous chef, and thank God she agreed.  I soon learned that Lisa and I had mind reading capabilities during the months that preceded WFC 2018. Together, we are a force to be reckoned with. 

Who is Lisa Keys?

Sea World Orlando 2015

I met Lisa for the first time in 2015 at the First Annual – World Food Blogger Summit, held in Orlando, Florida. I was drawn to her sweet disposition and kind smile. We shared a seat on the bus to Sea World and talked like we’d known one another our entire lives. I learned that Lisa is an award winning food competitor, recipe creator, photographer, mother of two children (William and Caitlin), and wife to Bill Keys. She is also the owner and writer of Good Grief Cook. If you have not read her blog then I encourage you to take the time to get to know Lisa, and learn about her journey of loss, love, and her passion for cooking.

(You can access her works here: goodgriefcook.com Click HERE )

Lisa is also a Food Network CHOPPED CHAMPION (5/6/2014), a certified Food Champ, and a credentialed Steak Competition Association judge. Last but not least, Lisa is a grandmother, “Kiki,” to her beautiful granddaughter Annabelle. 

Lisa’s resume is pretty darned impressive and her heart is made of gold. I love her like a sister, and feel a kindred connection like that of Anne Shirley’s bosom friend and kindred spirit Diana Barry (Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery). Lisa is my forever faithful friend. Thank you so much Lisa Keys for your brilliant mind, attention to detail, and award winning skills in the kitchen. I am honored by your willingness to take on the task of sous chef, and even more honored to call you my friend. 

Blake my sous chef for  Fight To Feed –  Culinary Fight Club 2016

Rounding out Team At Home with Rebecka, my third team member and my sweet husband, Blake Evans. I call him my “Super Schlepper” and “Financier” since he is the man with the muscles and the money.

Blake schlepped all of our suitcases up and down the stairs several times, drove us to do all the contest grocery shopping, hung out with all my foodie pals, and listened to all the crazy WFC talk. My husband had no issue socializing, as he chatted up the VIP’s and connected with everyone we encountered.

Blake literally saved our bacon by running back to our condo twice during the Top Ten Round to get items we couldn’t find while competing. I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have my sweet man by my side with his big booming laugh, love, and support. Thanks babe for being my faithful, loving husband, and supporting me in my food sport addiction.

The sous chef apron looks good on you by the way! xoxo

My goal for WFC 2018:

This year my goal was to win of course, but in the event that a repeat Bacon Category victory was not meant to be, my real hope was just to make Top Ten. Praise the Lord, after the preliminary round we made Top Ten finishing 4th in the category.  

Recipe Creation:

All WFC contestants are required to make a Structured Build recipe to “level the playing field” between professional chefs and home cooks.  This year, Bacon Category contestants were required to make bacon pizza, utilizing a required sponsor ingredient: Red Gold Tomatoes.  Competitors also presented a Signature Dish that showcases bacon as the star of the dish.

(To read the WFC Official Rules CLICK HERE)

After months of recipe creation and hundreds of changes, sleepless nights, a few tears, and the desire to throw my recipes across the room, I was extremely pleased with the final dishes. Lisa talked me off the ledge several times, and I returned the favor once or twice. I must reiterate, competitive Food Sport is an arduous process and not for the faint of heart. To fully grasp the enormity of recipe creation and contest preparation, a person must live the experience. 

Structure Dish: BLT (Bacon, Lobster and Tomato Pizza) Food by Rebecka Evans Photo by Angela Castelli

My Bacon Lobster Pizza is the most delicious pizza I’ve ever made or eaten! The smokey flavor of  Kountry Boy’s thick cut bacon is the perfect compliment to my Bacon Blush Alfredo Sauce. The sauce is made with a combination of bacon, Red Gold Tomatoes with Green Chili’s, Red Gold Petite diced tomatoes, fresh garlic, and Fiesta Italian Seasoning. These ingredients are then blended with my signature Alfredo sauce to create a luscious Bacon Blush Alfredo that pairs perfectly with fresh lobster meat. The crust is from my sponsors, Center Court Pizza and Brew, located in my hometown of Pearland, Texas. The pizza was grilled on Bull Outdoor Products (​Steer Premium Cart Grill​), with fresh grated asiago and fontina cheese, garnished with a ring of fresh herbed bacon. Dressed to impress, the head and tail of the lobster greeted the judges, as well as eight beautifully cooked bacon legs. The pizza scored a 95.75. 

BLT (Bacon Lobster Tomato Pizza)

Signature Dish – BLT (Bacon, Lemon, and Tomato) Cupcakes – Round One

I was determined to bake a cupcake for World Food Championships 2018, testing at least eleven versions before landing on the final recipe. You see, I’ve been on a baking journey the past few months not only to push myself outside my comfort zone, but to prove to myself and the world that I could create an award winning bacon cupcake.

In all honestly, this cupcake was a true labor of love and a little hate too. The recipe underwent numerous changes, and was scrapped from my WFC roster not once, but twice before its final version. Although my husband and sous chef were not fans at first, I think I won them both over in the end. The judges must have liked it too because it finished 7th in the world with a score of 91.2853. 

I love everything about this cupcake. The cake is super moist with a hint of lemon zest and mashed Red Gold Tomatoes with green chili’s; with the final touches of sugared bacon dust being folded in right before baking. Red Gold Tomatoes with Green Chili’s also find their way into the bacon tomato jam that is spread over the cupcake after cooling. The sweet and spicy jam tastes like heaven, and is so good that I can hardly resist the temptation of eating it right from the spoon. I added red pepper flakes for a slightly spicy finish, and topped it all off with delicious tomato infused butter cream frosting. It may sounds like a crazy concoction, but it is slap yo momma good!

BLT Cupcake-Official Description: 

BLT Cupcake aka Bacon, lemon and tomato cupcake starts with a vanilla crumb cake laced with a hint of lemon zest and sugared bacon dust. The cake is topped with a savory-sweet tomato, bacon jam and then frosted with a swirl of vanilla and tomato butter cream, dressed with a bacon swizzle stick dipped in white chocolate and sparkling sugar.

The Progression of an Award Winning Cupcake:

As you can see, I take recipe creation very seriously! Scroll over the photos to see descriptions. 

#1 The original idea: Bourbon Bacon with Vanilla filing and Cream Cheese Frosting

#2 Chocolate cupcake with cookie dough frosting and Candy Chocolate Bacon

#3 Candy chocolate bacon bow

#4 A hot mess!

#5 Chocolate cupcake with butter cream frosting and candy bacon

#6 Vanilla cupcake with sugar bacon, bacon jam, and tomato buttercream frosting

#7 Vanilla cupcake with bacon sugar, bacon jam. tomato butter cream frosting and bacon swizzle

#8 Cupcakes on a Pig on a plate

#9 Cupcakes on a pig plate with chocolate and tomato butter cream swirl

#10 Spiky tomato and bacon buttercream

#11 Almost there, Vanilla bacon cupcake with bacon jam, tomato-bacon swirl buttercream frosting

#12 Plating ideas and more frosting practice

#13 Almost perfect

#14 The final version 7th in the World

Top Ten on Natureware Plates

Choosing a Recipe for Top Ten: 

So how do you choose a recipe to take to the Top Ten Challenge? Any decision I make could be the difference between a 10K win and last place. These are the two big questions that made my brain hurt the night I found out I would compete in Bacon Top Ten.

Do I make my third recipe and hope for the best?

Should I make my Structure Build or Signature Dish?

At first, my plan was to go into Top Ten with my pizza, but I wanted to see my scores for both dishes before deciding. I also had a third recipe waiting in the wings just in case I wanted to call an audible and be creative. Making a decision was hard, especially when considering the scores of my recipes. As you can see in the scores below, I went into Top Ten in 4th Place.

Both of my recipes scored well, with the pizza scoring slightly higher than the cupcake. This is where you can lose your mind second guessing the decision. For better or worse, I decided to make the cupcake and the rest is history. I didn’t win first place with the cupcake, however I managed to place 7th in the world as one of only two home cooks that made Top Ten this year. Thank the Lord for my sweet friend and sous chef Lisa Keys, as she stood by my side while I went crazy over making the decision to compete with the cupcake.  I couldn’t have done it without her expert baking skills and world-class professionalism.

The stress of defending my Bacon World Title, and the decision to make my cupcake and not my pizza or third recipe really got to my psyche. Not to mention, everything that could go wrong in the Top Ten Round did. I burned every piece of bacon I cooked so had to re-make new batches, and with just 6 minutes to spare before the turn in window closed, we couldn’t find the red dye for the tomato butter cream frosting. This is when my husband Blake saved our bacon by running back to the condo to find the red dye. Thankfully, I purchased two bottles and one was in the condo. The other had fallen under a mixing bowl by our station where it stayed until clean up. 

Official Scores:

 A side note: Top Ten Bacon competitors were required to use Natural Tableware USA plates for presentation and Bacon Sponsors Indiana Kitchen Bacon. I think we did a pretty good job of showcasing the cupcakes on the required plate ware. 

BLT (Bacon, Lemon, and Tomato) Cupcake Top Ten Round

Sponsors:

Special thanks to my personal sponsors Kountry Boys Sausage for providing me with delicious Kountry Boy’s Bacon and Center Court Pizza and Brew for their delicious pizza dough. I’d also like to thank the World Food Championships Staff, MMA Creative, Mike McCloud, Walmart, Red Gold Tomatoes, and Ankarsrum USA. 

Walmart and World Food Championships

Kountry Boy’s Sausage

Red Gold Tomatoes

Natural Tableware USA

Ankarsrum USA

Center Court Pizza and Brew

Familiar Faces:

World Food Championships wouldn’t be the same without my foodie family, some familiar faces and new foodie friends alike. Sadly, I was so busy this year that I missed getting hugs and photos ops with everyone. Hugs, laughter and more Food Sport fun will have to be had at WFC 2019. I love you all and can’t wait until next year to see you. 

  I couldn’t do it: 

I tried my best to pack all the 2018 World Food Championships events into one post but it’s just not possible since this post is already way too long! Stay tuned for more WFC Recap in the weeks to come. TBA

WFC 2018 Yacht Club Progressive Dinner

The Second Annual Grand Throwdown

Ava Marie Romero, my friend

See you all soon! RE

World Food Championships 2018 Recap It's taken me five weeks to process my experiences at the 2018 World Food Championships, and figure out how to wrap the entire adventure into just one blog post.