#and also the general dudebros who watch one piece...

[kruxton]

its surprising how unpopular zolu is compared to zosan

[bettsfic]

one of the things that really stuck with me about The Bikeriders is that it's all about performative toxic masculinity, but there's no womanizer character. not a single guy who picks up women for the fun of it. there's also no casual, unquestioned infidelity, which is a staple of dudebro narratives. like obviously the badass leader guy is going to have a woman on the side, and both his wife and myriad girlfriends will just be set pieces for him with no characterization whatsoever.

on my first watch i just assumed Johnny has a wife at home and a girlfriend in the club, but then i realized the woman hanging all over him during the picnics is his wife (Betty), as evidenced by this pic from VANDALS, the photobook of the shooting of the film.

sorry for the poor quality. this is a picture of a picture.

the implication here is that Betty is supportive of the club (if not Johnny himself, as we see near the end), at least more so than Kathy, who only dresses in bikerider attire for [spoilers redacted].

it's possible in the present timeline of the film that both of their daughters have grown up and moved out. we see Johnny watching The Wild One on television, a film released in 1953, and two girls run behind him, maybe around 10 years old. the timeline of the story begins in 1963, and the last we see of Johnny's home life is 1971. by all means, their daughters might be in their 20s. in some ways, The Bikeriders is a story of middle-aged boredom.

in multiple instances, we see physical affection between married couples. Benny and Kathy, Johnny and Betty, and Brucie and Gail are all depicted at least once snuggled up beside each other. in many films, if a man is both married and faithful, we see him be at the very least physically neglectful, never touching his wife in a loving way. conversely, we never see men receiving real affection, either, unless it's been earned through the intense action of the film. and even then, it's often something he takes, not something he's given.

i was also surprised by Benny and Kathy's relationship, which i assumed would go south asap, given the intensity of it. and although there's plenty of tension between them, none of it is of the "i fell out of love with you, i regret marrying you" variety of angst. they fall in love and stay in love. and they have problems, but losing interest in each other is not one of them.

i find it very funny that Benny remains covered in dirt even when it makes no sense to be.

to me these are all markers of a story that's about toxic masculinity rather than operating from within toxic masculinity. when we're in a toxically masculine story, we're meant to buy into the fantasy of that masculinity. the protagonist is an ideal, a man who fucks around with any woman he looks at and wins fights and becomes a hero. in The Bikeriders, though, we see from the outside that Johnny is trying to craft that impossible fantasy for himself. he's performing the man he wishes he could be and it's making him miserable. and he tries to put that burden on Benny, who refuses it. Benny is his fantasy. conversely, Johnny is Benny's. they have the other on a pedestal of a male ideal that's impossible to achieve.

in this era of American history, we see increasingly intense narratives of heroism. by the 70s, the sons of WWII veterans had grown up. many men of that time looked up to their fathers as war heroes, fighting on the right side of one of the worst wars in the history of humanity, and winning. but those men were then given the Vietnam War, which arguably had no right side, no front, and no land lost or gained. most importantly, it had no clear beginning or ending*. no closure, no resolution. even outside of war, in industry the task of making something became narrower as merchant trades veered toward assembly line production rather than craftsmanship. Benny refuses to step up in part because he belongs to a generation of men who see no real fruits of their labor. conversely, Johnny is witnessing the slow degradation of honor that comes as a result of losing the concepts of resolution and completion.

*the Fall of Saigon marked the end of the Vietnam War, but by then Nixon had pulled out all US troops.

i keep reading these shallow reviews of The Bikeriders, and they're positive but they don't seem to really get it. like The Holdovers, i think so much of the nuance and meaning comes from the historical context of the action of the film, which can't really be elaborated on (you can only do so much in two hours), and so it's depicted in these broad strokes of cultural knowledge, much of which is either that the Vietnam War is simply a thing that happened, or information that is flat-out wrong. i mean, there were like 18 possible sides to this war and you can't read a single fact about it without having to analyze or consider the side it's writing from. even wikipedia is full of subtle rhetoric that indicates sympathy toward one side over the other.

people ask me a lot, "why are you researching the Vietnam War?" and the answer is that it's everywhere. its failure is woven into the fabric of American identity. it changed the very definition of masculinity, and being as we are in a patriarchal hegemony, that new definition has in turn affected everybody else. whenever i talk to any American around my age about the Vietnam War, they've got a story about it. either their father/grandfather was there or he wasn't. if he was there, that's a story. if he wasn't, that's a story too.

many of us in our 30s and 40s and 50s are gaining the expertise and audience to begin telling these stories, in an attempt to answer the question of what even happened back then, and why were our parents so cruel, and why is everyone so miserable now? and we find ourselves on impossible pedestals handed down to us from a generation defined by failure and loss.

[beanghostprincess]

You know, One Piece is all fun and happyness untill you learn that the world and themes are actually some of the darkest and most depressing things that were ever put on paper. The biggest potrayal of this tho is the fact that many characters have different running gags and quirks that are actually products of their horrible past trauma and messed up life.

Luffy- Wants to befriends literally everybody because of his fear of being alone and picks fights with all the people he doesn't like because he wants to protect his friends.

Nami- Her greed and kleptomania were developed because her mom literally died because sge was poor and was never able to give her and Nojiko all they wanted/needed.

Usopp- Makes absurd lies about everything because as a kid he had to keep lying to keep his mother happy and when she died he kept on doing so to keep himself safe.

Sanji- Puts all women on a super high pedestal because growing up women like his mom and sister wrre the only good people in his life and men like his Judge and his brothers were fucking awful.

Brook and Robin- Super S tier dark humor to cope with S tier dark trauma.

In other words, One Piece is just a comedy passing drmatic anime, but I think we all already knew that.

Ah, yes, I love this topic so much.

But I wouldn't say One Piece is a "comedy passing dramatic anime". One Piece is both comedy and drama. The drama doesn't hide behind comedy at any moment. You don't have to actively look for it or read between the lines to understand the characters. I think Oda is an amazing writer because he manages to just tell us/show us about his characters in the clearest and most obvious of ways. He throws hints at us over the episodes to then explaining it to us very carefully how his characters are built. This is why I find so difficult to understand why people (mainly from the general audience or, y'know, dudebros) don't get the characters in the first watch/read. An example of a comedy passing dramatic show would probably be just any sort of satiric comedic show in which they don't actually address the drama but instead make jokes about it. Like It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (God I love that sitcom).

I know what you mean, though. You're talking about the whole "making jokes/running gags about something when the reason behind them is actually way deeper". And I agree wholeheartedly.

Luffy has abandonment issues and that's why he keeps wanting to protect his friends and hates being alone, Nami sees money as safety and comfort because her mom died because they lacked money, Usopp's lies come from trying to make her mom happy because his dad left them, Sanji has an obsession with women because they're the only ones who never hurt him, Brook and Robin have no filter when it comes to dark humor because they've been alone for so long that the only way they have to cope is jokes and nobody gets them except them... And also:

We treat Zoro's relationship with Tashigi as comedic at some points but he has so much trauma regarding his best friend dying that he can't be close to someone who looks like her.

We make fun of and exaggerate Sabo's love for Luffy to the point of brocon/possessiveness because he literally spent most of his life having forgotten him and when he remembers his brothers, one of them dies, so of course he wants to look after the little one.

Boa's love for Luffy exists exclusively because she feels safe around him and it's the first man who has never seen her as a sexual object.

And a lot more of these but, basically, Oda is great at character building and writing because these are not things that you have to read between the lines. These are not exaggerations for the reader to understand what's going on with the characters. These are just trauma responses that constantly happen in real life. It's just a well-written story with awesome, realistic characters, and I absolutely love it.

[antianakin]

It's so interesting how people reacted so drastically to the criticism against the Prequels, disliking both Anakin and the Jedi while liking Obi-Wan, that Anakin and Obi-Wan managed to be basically merged into almost the exact same character.

Anakin has the "relatability factor" of being the protagonist who goes on a journey and has the flaws that are explored within the story. But he's COMPLETELY unlikable as a character, especially in AOTC (and I hear people find child actors grating in general which is a personal taste problem but caused people to dislike Anakin in TPM too). He's whiny, rude, disrespectful, awkward, unforgivably uncool, and comes with a HEFTY dose of secondhand embarrassment in nearly every scene he's in.

Obi-Wan has the "cool factor" of being the one who is the Adult most of the time who is there to showcase how far the teenaged protagonist has to go still, so he gets all of the clever quippy lines and the better fight scenes (and his actor was a little older and more seasoned which probably helped a bit). But he's not the protagonist and so his flaws are not on display and it's not his story being told at all.

TL;DR Obi-Wan is an actually likable character with redeeming entertaining traits, but Anakin had all of the character story beats and protagonist bias.

And this meant Obi-Wan got out of the Prequel Trilogy a lot easier than the rest of the characters, especially Anakin (and the other Jedi).

So then we got The Clone Wars. And TCW is a show that is much lauded for being the show that "saved" the Prequels, generally by "saving" Anakin as a character. How did they do that?

They took away all of those pesky uncomfortable qualities of Anakin's and instead just gave him all of Obi-Wan's more fun likable qualities. TCW Anakin is turned into a dudebro action hero, with tons of cool action scenes to show off just how badass he is, endless amounts of quippy dialogue so he can equal Obi-Wan in their scenes together, capable of flirting with a Queen SO WELL that she doesn't even realize he's faking it until he pulls out a lightsaber. Gone is that secondhand embarrassment, gone are the whiny moments, gone is the inability to have a cool fight scene to save his life. The awkwardness stays just enough to make him ENDEARING, but not enough to cringe at so much you want to turn off what you're watching or just fast forward to the next scene.

And this is the version of Anakin that feels more "right" to people, more true to what they anticipated in a baby Darth Vader. He's angry a lot, violent, prone to lashing out if things don't go his way, but he's also just charming and suave enough that it's mostly understandable why people around him are willing to write off his worse behavior as a momentary struggle. Gone are the tears, gone is the fear of loss being his most obvious motivator. Because THIS is how people expected a villain like Darth Vader to act in his youth.

And then you get fanon Obi-Wan. Because people hated the Jedi, rejected the warrior monks who destroyed their visions of gallant medieval knights, and created a whole new interpretation positioning the Jedi as the villains of the story in order to try to make their peace with that dissonance. But they liked Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan CAN'T be the villain.

So how do you save him from that fate? You make him more like Anakin. He gets to keep the cool fighting abilities and the fun quippy dialogue of course, but he's now completely repressed to the point that he never told Anakin he loved him until Anakin was burning in pieces on Mustafar. Now he's someone who can barely keep himself together and regularly forgets to eat and sleep like a normal person and has to be taken care of by other people. Now he's constantly being portrayed as just as attached to Anakin as Anakin is to him, just as co-dependent as Anakin is in that relationship, just as inclined towards anger and willing to walk away from the more stuffy traditional Jedi Order so he can have the more natural, healthier domestic lifestyle he's always truly wanted and never known he could have. TCW even decided to help out here by giving Obi-Wan a love interest who is for all intents and purposes just a knock-off of Padme, his own forbidden star-crossed love story. He takes on ALL of Anakin's flaws that make Anakin so "relatable" as a character, keeps his more charming likable traits, and loses all of those things that make him a Jedi, that make him Obi-Wan Kenobi.

So now Obi-Wan and Anakin are both cool, charming, suave, silver tongued, attached, repressed, struggling against the Jedi Code. They're effectively the same person, but one of them just happens to commit genocide and the other one... doesn't. What made each of them distinct and interesting characters in their own right is washed away in order to merge them both into two copies of the One Perfect Character and who you like better at that point is probably just down to who you found more attractive or something equally banal.

And through fandom osmosis, this is what is considered their true/"canon" interpretation, regardless of how inaccurate it actually is.

[fandomwe1rd0]

Sooooo I was searching up Rick and Morty Mary Sue, to see if anyone put Elle (Only one media outlet did if you're curious, and a quick lil fuck you for Elle ofc) anddddd I stumbled upon this article:

Now if you don't want to read this article, I wouldn't blame you, it's long and it is full of shit takes. But as someone who regretfully read all of it, I'll summarize the points and show why they suck, and I know the article was made 5 years ago so I shouldn't care about it, but also heyyyy shut up, AND also, I doubt anyone will, but please do not harass the person that made this article, I hate the article, not them as a person, also harassing people is just an asshole thing to do. So just leave them alone and we can point and laugh at this article, cool? Cool. Anyway let's get started!

"People who think Pickle Rick is the most original piece of humor ever created"

Basically this was them saying Pickle Rick wasn't funny. I…don't understand how this is a dig at the show. And this is coming from someone that didn't like the Pickle Rick episode and thinks it's overrated. But I can see that's not the only reason why people like that episode. They like it for the good animation, Dr. Wong, and the action.

2. "The never ending slew of toilet humor is just not necessary"

This is just them complaining about the toilet humor and saying it's not necessary. I…who's gonna tell them humor isn't necessary in general, and trust me, some shows have way more toilet humor than Rick and Morty, and as someone who doesn't find toilet humor funny, it never really grossed me out or bothered me with Rick and Morty. It doesn't show anything gross, it isn't too detailed with toilet humor, it's just dumb cheap humor, it's really not that deep, they also crank down on it with other seasons.

3. "People actually want to be Rick, and it's wrong on so many levels"

This is basically saying that dudebros idolize Rick, and that Rick is a Mary Sue

I'M SORRY WHAT!?

This is probably the worst take the article has. Rick is meant to be seen as an asshole, he's called an asshole and is called out multiple times, by a lot of people, Dr. Wong gave him a "reason why you suck" speech. Rick has multiple flaws, and he's not meant to be seen as sexy, RICK HIMSELF and some random lil guy refer to Rick as ugly, he's not meant to be a good character. Rick is competent at science and is strong, but he gets his ass beat multiple times, and literally DIED in Unmortricken, he does come back, ofc he does, but my point still stands. He has character development, but that doesn't make him a Mary Sue?!

Also you're not SUPPOSED to idolize Rick. Yes some fans certainly do, but the show consistently shows you that he is miserable and is not okay in general, yes some far idolize him, but that's not the shows fault, also this show is meant for ADULTS, which means they don't have to have a good person as their protagonist, especially if they aren't mean to be a role model, and as long as the show doesn't glorify it, it's not their fault. Adults should be smart enough to not over idolize characters from tv shows anyways. Rick is a heavily traumatized person that the show doesn't glorify, so it's not the show's fault if people glorify him, and he definitely isn't a Mary Sue.

Also I should mention that Memory Rick, was horrified that he was eventually going to become Rick, and even called Rick his "all too real cautionary tale from the future" Rick isn't meant to be a good person or meant to be idolized. The person that wrote this article needs media literacy.

4. "Morty is genuinely a pointless character"

The summary is basically what the caption says. They call Morty pointless, saying he doesn't do anything. They DID NOT just say that about my boy. Morty is anything but pointless, he creates the conflict for some episode (Mortynight Run, Rattlesnake Ricklatica, That's Amorte), solves the conflict in some episodes (Total Rickall, These Ricks must be Crazy, Get Schwifty), and has episodes that develop him as a character (Look Who's Purging Now, The Rickshank Rickdemption, Fear No Mort, ESPICALLY Fear No Mort) he is far from a useless character, and aside from his trauma not being explored as much as it should, is a pretty good example of a male abuse victim, and is meant to show what happens when someone spends too much time with Rick, he is NOT useless, I do not know what you are smoking, what is it and can I have some? Rick wants some too.

5. "It's not diverse in any way"

Now this is one of the few I can actually understand…except for uhm…one tiny flaw.

The main character is Depressed, Hispanic, Pansexual, and Autistic. And the rest of the family besides maybe Morty are Bisexual, sooooo uhm…

6. "It thinks it's the most intelligent show ever created"

This point is basically saying it has plot holes, tries and fails to outsmart fans, and fans have to spend hours creating fan theories to make sense of the show's plot.

Now, I'm not the best person to talk about plot holes in stories, but the plot always makes sense to me, even after I rewatched it so…so many times. And I never see all too many plot holes, the only one I can really think of is how Rick alternated the memory of his backstory, but the plot episodes always makes sense, and are generally my favorite episodes. And specifically Rick's backstory, makes a lot of Rick's actions make sense, and has a good amount of foreshadowing beforehand.

They also said at the end (It wasn't a point so I'm not listing it as one) that Rick and Morty just has characters that are a bundle of toilet humor and dialogue that could've been written on someone's first acid trip and…huh?

The characters feel very relatable, real, and human. Morty is someone I relate to a lot, and he feels very real, like I could see meeting someone like him in real life, and Rick, despite being a literal sci-fi scientist, feels very real, and I even relate to him which uhm…I shouldn't. Even the characters I don't personally relate to like Summer, Beth, and Jerry, still feel grounded and real in a way, so…yeah.

Overall this article is harmless, it just has some really trashy takes, but again do not harass the person who made this article, it's not their fault their stupid and not smart enough to understand the genius of Rick and Morty…I'M JOKING! But yeah, please do not read this article, and just I dunno go outside and touch grass or smth. Also DON'T watch Big Mouth (This article thinks you should) anyways Byeeeeeeee!

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s3 ep8: Future's End pt 1

Yay I'm so happy to get to this one! I love time travel stories, and this is so much fun. The weird thing is, I remember very well when this first aired, thinking it was so exciting to see a Star Trek crew in a modern setting, but looking at it now, I feel ancient, because it's a period piece now! It's 1990s a-go-go! I'm forcibly jolted back to watching this in middle school, and remembering my room full of Beanie Babies, listening to the Spice Girls, changing from my school backpack to a much cooler, tinier backpack to go with my friends to the mall, and talking to my one friend who watched Voyager about how cool this episode was, and what did we think would happen in the second part, and didn't the observatory girl from this episode have the cutest daisy belt?!

There's just so much silly, fun, fish-out-of-water comedy in this, it never fails to amuse me. Time paradoxes are great, and the blending of finding technology from the Federation's future in the past is clever, but honestly, this episode is about Starfleet characters interacting with 20th century pop culture. Janeway in her white Hilary Clinton-esque pantsuit! Neelix and Kes getting hooked on soap operas! (They are so bored on that ship, I swear they need some community theatre or orchestra or something like they had on the Enterprise to keep them all from going insane.) Tom being a nerd about history, and getting things adorably wrong! (Though I would argue that his use of 'groovy' was actually cool in '96, since all things 60s were experiencing a revival, and I distinctly remember my friends and I decorating a supply box at school with little flowers and peace signs and the words 'peace & love' and 'groovy'. Clearly, the Voyager writers had not caught up with tween girl slang, lol.) But actually, I love that Tom gets to impress a girl with actual science, rather than just hitting on her like a jerky dudebro. It's very sweet, I'm so proud! (And we learn he majored astrophysics at the Academy, which somehow surprised me- he has such strong 'just some guy' energy that sometimes it's easy to forget that he's actually smart!)

Tuvok and Tom being sent on an away mission together is such a great odd couple combo, Tuvok is basically babysitting the kid with adhd in that situation, and watching him attempt to keep his cool is also funny and adorable. I love how Janeway just enables Tom too- when she told him to do what he had to do to get to the observatory, it's like um. Captain. you know you just gave Tom permission to steal a car, right?? And then he totally does steal a car!! They are such chaos gremlins! Tuvok truly does not get paid enough to wrangle his crewmates. (Also, how does Tom know how to drive?! Sure, he's studied cars and all, and might understand the general idea, but like, how does he know what the actual road rules are?! Has he ever driven a car in an actual city before?? There's no road signs in space, he would have no idea what, say, a no turn on red sign means! And they're in LA traffic, no less! And why would Rain give him the keys to her van when they're being shot at?! They met ten minutes ago! She should have been driving!! And how does Tom know what a test drive is?? They don't have cars in the 24 century! Unless maybe they have shuttle dealerships?? Can you test drive a shuttle?? Are they like 'yeah, you can take it as far as Saturn to get a feel for how the impulse engines perform'? lmao I guess Tom's amazing driving skills are just one of those things we have to just go with!)

And Harry gets left in charge of the bridge!! Baby's first command!! When Janeway comes back and tells him he did a good job, his little smile is so sweet!! Dammit Harry, you're too cute!!

One of the few things I thought didn't work was having Janeway and Chakotay clutching their pearls over seeing people with mohawks and pink hair on the boardwalk. Really?? They're in Starfleet, they see actual alien species all the time! They literally have people who are straight up blue-skinned on their ship, do you think they'll be shocked by regular humans with dyed hair?! Are they seriously trying to tell us everyone dresses conservatively and wears beige in the 24th century? Please! Starfleet Headquarters and the Academy are both in California- don't tell me Californians aren't still weird in the future! They'd have seen people dressed like that before, c'mon.

But anyway, the villain being a self-centered, thieving corporate exec is still timely, and it's super funny seeing Voyager get caught on someone's camcorder flying over Los Angeles, they did a good job making those effects shots look authentic. There's just so much good stuff, I'm enjoying the hell out of this one, and excited for part 2!

Tl;dr: A fun, fast-paced fish-out-of-water time travel story, with lots of comedy and great character moments.

[idkhowtopickausername]

For the ask thing: naruto, hunter x hunter, one piece?

Hi! Thanks for the ask! I'll put this under a cut so people don't have to scroll through all of it if they don't want to

Naruto: haven’t heard of it | absolutely never watching | might watch | currently watching | dropped | hated it | meh | a positive okay | liked it | liked it a lot! | loved it | a favorite

don’t watch period | drop if not interested within 2-3 episodes | give it a go, could be your thing | 5 star recommendation

I wouldn’t recommend it because it’s so long and has so many problems but obviously I liked it enough to watch it all and obsess over it fav characters: Sasuke!!! (obviously), also I like Naruto in a “I could fix his character arc” kind of way, I also like Juugo and Neji and Konan a lot least fav characters: Tobirama, Hiruzen, Danzo, Jiraiya fav relationship: Well my main favorite relationship is Sasuke and his mom because I think it’s sweet and he deserves to be loved and to be with his family, I find Naruto and Sasuke’s relationship compelling because of how they theoretically could have complemented each other thematically and because of its poignance but I’m also pretty bothered by some aspects of it so I have a love-hate relationship with it, I also like Sasori and Deidara’s banter fav moment: When Sasuke said he would destroy the village after learning the truth about the massacre, also when he confronted the past kages about what a village is headcanons/theories: I like to think that Pein was really uptight about the Akatsuki’s dress code and would get mad if someone showed up to a meeting without nail polish unpopular opinion: Well I think “Sasuke was right” is sadly an unpopular opinion among the general fan base, but within my side of the fandom I guess my unpopular opinion is that I really don’t care either way about Sakura and I don’t understand how people can have so much love or hatred for her. I tend to think people who don’t like her have a better grasp of her character than her stans because they acknowledge her flaws and that's more interesting than making her into a generic girlboss, and I hate it when people use her to hate on Sasuke, but beyond that I just don’t think she’s a particularly relevant character and the discourse surrounding her kind of bores me. how’d you find it: Obviously I’d heard of it but it would pop up in almost every anime-related discussion at some point so I wanted to know what it was like random thoughts: I think it’s funny that so many people are captivated by it in a “this is bad but it could have been good” kind of way but for completely different reasons and with completely different ideas about how to fix it, some of which I vehemently disagree with

Hunter x hunter: haven’t heard of it | absolutely never watching | might watch | currently watching | dropped | hated it | meh | a positive okay | liked it | liked it a lot! | loved it | a favorite don’t watch period | drop if not interested within 2-3 episodes | give it a go, could be your thing | 5 star recommendation I was very passionately hyper fixated on it for like two years prior to watching Naruto, I would watch YouTube reactions and listen to the soundtrack like 24/7 lol fav characters: Killua and Kurapika! Also Pitou is cool. And Alluka/Nanika! least fav characters: Hisoka fav relationship: Gon and Killua fav moment: When Meruem and Komugi die and when Gon and kills Pitou headcanons/theories: idk sorry unpopular opinion: Idk what it was like on other parts of the Internet but when I was into HxH among dudebros a lot of people would refer to it as a subversion of the shonen genre and would just generally be really pretentious about it in a way that was a little bit comical to me even as someone who loved it. I think it has incredibly powerful moments but having the protagonist go too far in a moment of anger and emotion isn’t something new to the genre exactly, nor is having a complex and humanized villain who becomes better, I think Togashi just managed to execute those in a really poignant and original way. It’s like the embodiment of that post that’s like “it subverted expectations by being good instead of bad” lol how’d you find it: I think anime rec lists and really positive reviews when I was first getting into anime random thoughts: I really liked how the story never really felt formulaic or like it was trying to communicate a specific message to you but still managed to convey meaningful ideas and emotions and interesting plot lines

One Piece haven’t heard of it | absolutely never watching | might watch | currently watching | dropped | hated it | meh | a positive okay | liked it | liked it a lot! | loved it | a favorite (I doubt I’ll ever get around to it but I’m not opposed to watching it, also I won’t bother guessing for the questions cause I don’t think it would be very interesting)

[sanchoyoscribbles]

Tm2 Queen and her pieces redesigns 👽💫 it was long overdue! I love her catci squad, all of them are named after cactus types except Queen and Arilla 😌

Tm2 directory including the protagonists references and more story info can be found here!

And these character's bios under the cut! Who's your favorite? 🌙

They all have greenish hair (except Arilla) bc green hair is super common in this lore, like brown or black hair on Earth I guess? None of them are blood related!

🌙Erdisia 22. She/her lesbian. mint green hair that gradients into sherbet orange. Grayish purple eyes. 

outfits: Enjoys wearing cute, puffy clothes! Ribbons, bows, chiffon, silk. Short dresses and shorts. 'Cute' hairstyles like ponytails n braids. 

Personality/backstory: Cheerful and highly aggressive! She will 100% stab anyone with a smile. She really hates humans and thinks they're all below her. She loves cute things, and but she has a really nasty personality that doesn't match at all. She's super good at sucking up to people and flattering them if she wants something, though. Anything nasty or unpleasant, like torturing? Killing? She is absolutely there for that. She does ALL the dirty work dealing with prisoners of the rebellion. Persi would very much like to have Words with her about that...Sapote doesn't actually like this girl, but Erdisia? Is like, lowkey obsessed with Sapote. Like 100% thinks she should be working with Sapote instead of Cara. Obviously since she's a human, Cara doesn't care for an alien speciesist against humans, and Erdisia goes out of her way to say nasty things to Cara in return. Cara is super good at ignoring people tho, which only makes Erdisia more mad.  

🌙Tunillo 17. He/him straight Male. light olive green hair. light grey eyes. 

outfits: slouchy, comfy clothes. Literally cannot be bothered to dress like a real person.

Personality/backstory: Entitled and sarcastic. Always thinks he's the smartest person in the room when he's hardly in the top ten in a room of five people. He's every dudebro you've ever met who's mansplained at every woman he's ever met and simultaneously expects them to fall in love with him while he has nothing to really offer and refuses to do any work around the house. That guy. He hates talking to the others and is pretty anti-social, but he's competent with tech. His job is to monitor everything. Like, he's the guy who watches the cameras to make sure no one is up to no good business. The visor over his face can switch to any part of the alien ship, and he can even hack into cameras on Earth. He's a SNITCH. He also dabbles in robotics and hacking. Neither Sapote or Cara like him very much :^)

Funfact: No one has seen him sleep. Seriously, you think Queen'd assign more than one person to watch cameras for this reason. Hm..

🌙Saguaro 25. They/them aroace. Pine green hair that gradients into jade green. (???) colored eyes.

outfits: they like robes...comfy. flowy clothes. like. Snuggies. probably wearing slippers. 

Personality/backstory:   They are pretty mysterious! Despite always having bindings over their eyes, they happen to be the best with a sword. Like literally undefeated. They have a very peaceful personality though, inviting anyone to meditate and drink tea with them. They're always happy to talk about their religion, which is the now banned church of Deep Blue. (Queen is very About Science and very anti Guy Who Tried to Kill Their Own and stuff. She also doesn't like the idea of anyone following a dead leaders beliefs instead of following Her. So.) A firm believer in destiny, they're actually against Queen to an extent, but believes being close to her will lead them to the path that Deep Blue will cross. Because destiny. because Saguaro totally believes the Revival Is Coming. Most people think they're super weird for it, and Queen has, in her very polite way, banned them from being Too Vocal about it. Sapote is super weirded out by it. Cara is like. Kind of amused and kind of enjoys hanging out with Saguaro because they're like, even with all their quirks, the most chill of the group. Also, cool sword collection. Saguaro is happy to hang out with the human! But at the same time, they'll make remarks that sound full of pity towards the humans. 

Funfact:  Queen doesn't like them wearing blue because that's Deep Blue's color whereas she likes yellow and white. They wear a good bit of blue anyway! A quiet way to rebel, maybe? 

🌙Queen 24. She/her bi. Sacramento green hair. gold/orange gradient eyes. 

Outfits: She's always in a dress/gown in public, bun on the same side or hair down, and usually wearing red lipstick. Always dressed in gold, yellow, white (or a combo of them) ANY kind of crown or circlette headdress or gown is ok! When not in public? comfy. hair tied out of the way so she can work! 

Personality/backstory: Elegant! Leaderly! Graceful! Poised! At least when people are watching her. Yes, her name is really Queen! Eccentric parents that wanted her to be the best. She's..probably disappointing them with this career path. She's the top general of the alien army and revels in the irony of her name. She's really charming to talk to and acts like a Real Lady...but most the people listed here have seen her when she's not in front of people. Which is. Her in a lab coat, messy bun, up until the morning after an all-nighter, taking notes faster than she can speak them. She LOVES science and is more passionate about it than being a leader. But she must have her own reasons for taking on such a big role and running operations against Earth so aggressively, right? (;

🌙Arilla he/they pan 25. periwinkle grey hair with dark mauve grey bangs. ice green eyes.

outfits: Enjoys wearing comfy clothes. However, he NEVER shows his arms, legs or neck for personal reasons, so if dressing him in alternate clothing, keep that in mind! Keep him Covered Up.

Personality/backstory: Tired. Seriously needs a nap. Sleepy and grumpy at any given moment. Borderline snarky when he can be. Queen's righthand who's actually left handed too, probably. He doesn't do actual like, fighting stuff, he mostly just follows her around, making sure she doesn't miss meetings or trip in her heels. Makes sure she eats. I don't want to call him a babysitter, but. He also checks on Cara and Sapote in the same way as a part of his job. Sapote LOVES picking on this dude. Drives him up the wall. Cara is pretty ready to boss him around too because she thinks he's a pushover (he is). He kinda doesn't even like Queen on a personal level or agree with what she's doing, but he's in debt to her for something she did for him in the past, so he feels obligated to work for her. The emotion he feels towards her is something like pity.

🌙Pereskia. 28. She/her bi aro. crocodile green hair. fern green eyes.

outfits:  Despite her very serious personality, she really likes dressing up a little. Loves heels to tower over people, won't wear em while fighting tho. Also, she's super all about showing off her muscles because she's proud of them. Suns out guns out. 

Personality/backstory:  Serious and hardworking. She's the one most likely to do good on a group project but also the most likely to nag you into the ground about making it PERFECT. She has a lot of honor, and will work tirelessly to get her job done. She seriously takes a lot of pride in it, but she will never be overly sadistic about it; she's all about being efficient. She doesn't get along with Sapote like, at all, because she thinks she doesn't take her job seriously and is mad she got so far with her kind of attitude. She actually does get along with Cara tho and has nothing personal against humans. She just thinks the humans at the top are consumed with greed, and feels bad for all the other ones that will 'have to die for that'. She's really protective over kids.

[him-e]

At least Midsommar was ABOUT its heroine’s agency getting undermined and her trauma being exploited, TROS’ director literally called its heroine a ‘vessel’ for Luke and Leia as if it were a great thing and the movie spends the majority of its runtime explaining why Rey’s power actually has a source and her darkness has a source and nothing is hers. And TROS makes it seem like this is something good, something to be celebrated, like her identity being subsumed under Luke’s is a happy ending

like her identity being subsumed under Luke’s is a happy ending

see also this twitter thread. TROS validates Rey’s desperate need for father figures to worship and please as a GOOD thing. in TLJ and even TFA this was presented, interestingly, and correctly, as a character flaw that was keeping her from becoming her true self. TROS redeems and celebrates it. Coddles her for it. Her best quality is apparently her humble loyalty to an old generation. “One day I will earn your brother’s saber”. (cue a thousand 40-something star wars dudebros sighing in appreciation, finally satisfied that the little bitch is showing deference to their untouchable childhood hero.)

TROS celebrates “Rey Someone”, as in Rey being defined by attaching someone else’s identity and legacy on her. Palpatine, Skywalker. Accepting to be a vessel. The (attempted) superficial message is that you can choose your own path and identity in spite of where you came from, but it’s actually the opposite: where you come from DOES matter. You need to claim a cool last name to be someone, or you’re “just” you. (And no, excuse me if I don’t buy the adoption narrative, when all the members of the adoptive family are DEAD.) TROS makes a point of making “just Rey” an obstacle that needs to be fixed, a wound that needs to be healed. It then proceeds to reveal that Rey is someone(’s), but the wrong someone. And then fixes it again by making Rey the RIGHT someone’s. 

In the hands of a decent storyteller (like Rian), Rey’s angst over her parents would have been a plot device to tell us something about her character. In TROS, it became the be all end all of her character, her entire arc. And if you look at the ST as a whole, it’s a convoluted one, where her crux is first her abandonment issues, then learning that her parents were pieces of shit who will never come back for her because they’re dead, then learning that OOPS no they were good people who tried to protect her, but surprise her grandfather is Palpatine, to NOT dealing with this supposedly inherited darkness in any significant way, to finally rejecting that absolutely irrelevant inherited darkness, to embracing the good one. PHEW! What a ride! What about Rey’s character, though? Who is going to remember what her character conflict was in 20 years, or even 3 years? 

They didn’t treat her as a character, they treated her as a piece of trivia to prop up a fake House Skywalker vs House Palpatine final battle and capitalize on nostalgia.

The problem is not “Rey Skywalker” per se. The problem is Rey Skywalker coupled with how horridly written her arc was, the unilateral hero-worship of Luke & the Jedi, her infantilisation and denial of all the interesting traits that were set up in TLJ, the loss of her soulmate being just another bullet point to drive her to the final scene where’s she’d be just fanservice fodder for the OT fans. She was done so dirty.

Anonymous said: The infantilisation of Rey makes a little more sense when you consider that TROS was a movie made by and for middle-aged men who are OT fans. From JJ’s perspective, Rey IS a metaphorical “daughter” figure: he isn’t seeing her as a hero in her coming-of-age arc towards adulthood and fulfillment, he’s looking at her from the perspective of Luke and Leia

TROS was a movie made by and for middle-aged men who are OT fans

Exactly. Only superficially and disingenuously marketed to children. I have no doubt that a child can watch TROS and be vaguely entertained but I struggle to see how any of its major points and empty OT callbacks could matter ANYTHING to this child. Rey Skywalker? What’s a skywalker again? Palpatine? Probably Snoke’s old uncle. Tatooine????...?? ??

it’s just so ironic than in trying to please OT fans they made the saga almost unrewatchable PARTICULARLY for OT fans who prayed this trilogy could add something good and not like, retroactively ruin everything they loved about SW.

[neirawrites]

I was a Twihard in high school. Then I was a Twilight hater. In  2018, I decided to reread the first book, to see for myself on which side I belonged. I wrote my thoughts as I read, in multiple parts, but on my main blog, so I thought I might share them on my writeblr too, because I kinda had fun with it. 

Enjoy my many, many notes

Pages 0-50

I’m actually kinda into it. Yeah, there are a many issues every article on editing tells you to fix (filter words, -ing verbs and things like that), but i feel it. I don’t know what it is, but it’s there.

Bella isn’t that bad of a protagonist. Nothing too spectacular, but she’s fine. She is depressed, self sacrificing and hides her feelings, but also a lot more self aware than i though she would be(like when she notices mike, my son, likes her). She’s a typical teenage girl, the introverted type, way into reading. there’s nothing wrong with that.

I don’t know why i remember Edward being a draco in leather pants,but he’s also fine for now. mysterious and handsome and a bit weird. The first real conversation they have, he’s polite and nice and charming. I expected him to be a dick for like 150 pages at least.

Pages 50-100

I’m still really into it.

Yeah,Edward kinda ghosts her/gaslights her after the whole van incident, but with the benefit of hindsight,i kinda get it. It’s a wonder he didn’t pick up his entire family and moved to Alaska again. I also get her mood during that time and I've been there so i feel ya,Bella,it’s not your fault.

And yeah, Bella gets invited to the dance by three different guys and it’s all kinds of fan fic-y, but the fact she turns them down furthers my belief she’s wake up married to Edward in like a few years and realize she would rather be with Rosalie (a solid choice, might i add).

Edward’s really pushy, especially when it comes to the scene after she faints. like, let her go, you jerk, she can drive herself, but he’s more weird than he’s a jerk and i think that was intentional.

A big surprise was the line ��what if i’m not the hero, what if i’m the bad guy?” which isn’t this super cheesy, extra dramatic sentence but a jokey joke told with a laugh. actually, that whole conversation in the cafeteria where she tries to guess what he is is gold and don’t try to tell me otherwise.

I’m reading her interests in him as less of a romantic thing, and more of frustration at his behavior,like she would still be fascinated by him if he wasn’t so hot because he’s just so weird (but being hot is definitely a plus).

Plot? What plot?

Still, while the flaws are there, i’m still enjoying it very much.

Pages 100-150

Is Stephanie Meyer into anime? Cuz she wrote a harem light novel,that’s what she did and that’s how i’ll read it from now on and have more fun doing it. (Might make a post elaborating on this further).

All this to say that we got to Jacob. Not gonna lie, I kinda forgot about him.  He seems like a nice kid and i’m glad Bella has some positive interaction. Team jacoj 4 life (jk,man,i was team jasper in high school which is in retrospect very weird of me). I know he becomes a friend-zoned dudebro later, but for now, he’s fine.

Meyer, lady, you’re winning me over as a half hearted defender of your work, but why are the girls so bitchy? Yeah,i know, bitchy girls exist in real life, especially in high schools,but girls are our friends and we need more positive female on female interactions. Just my personal preference, I guess.

Things are getting interesting. Bella’s dreaming weird dreams (just fyi, not a big fan of dream scenes in general), she’s googling like crazy  and we’re going to Port Angeles.

I never felt she has any sort of affection for Angela or Jessica who seem really nice and have done nothing wrong. Like loosen up Bella, give them a chance. I know, depression makes you into a bitch sometimes, but it would warm me up to her character if she was a little more affectionate with people around her.

That whole scene where she almost gets at best beaten up and mugged and at worst raped and killed is… not my favorite part of the whole thing. I get what Meyer needed to do, to have her be saved by Edward, but there must have been a better way to go about it. What do I know? I’m the queen of forced plot contrivances. I do like their conversation at the restaurant (again, why do we hate the female waitress, Steph?). I don’t know why, I expected Edward to be mad at Bella for what happened to her and he seems genuinely concerned and his anger feels… human. Some of his actions, however, do not.

He stalked her which is weird and creepy and I hate it. Don’t stalk people, Edward. most of us don’t like it. you’re lucky Bella’s a weirdo.

150-200

I kinda love how ok she’s with the whole vampire thing. she’s just “well, this kid i barely know told me a scary story, so i guess the guy from school is a vampire. it be like that sometimes.” my first assumption would be it’s all an elaborate prank to make fun of me (i have some deep seeded trust issues origins of which remain unknown). and he’s waaay to quick to confirm her suspicions. I think there’s an explanation in the part of midnight sun that got leaked, but that was like a century ago.

I would criticize her for being ride or die with Edward so fast, falling in love with him so quickly, but i exchanged like 5 sentences with a cute girl last night and a part of is ready to propose based on the artiness of her instagam, so who the eff am i to judge?

and i get why he’s fascinated with her. she’s the only one he can’t read.

why? i don’t think that question ever gets a good enough answer, but it’s a fictional story about a girl falling in love with a sparky vampire. i’m not here for complex science or detailed explanations.

he seems waaay too protective of her. She’s a big girl, Ed, she can take care of herself. It’s actually kinda annoying. i dislike how he treats like a child a lot of the time. he seems pretty condescending. also, if he broke her car, i’m taking back everything nice i said about him.

ok, let me finally address bella’s biggest character flaw, her clumsiness. i mean, i get why she has it but Meyer goes a bit too hard on it. i’m clumsy, i really am, full of bruises, always bumping into things, but Bella can’t walk 20 meters without tripping. i guess i’m just glad she becomes a vampire in the book four, otherwise the book five would have been about her struggles when she’s diagnosed with a stage four inoperable brain tumor that’s been mesing with her sense of balance and the whole things turns into a weird version of the fault in our starts.

if i were writing it i would focus on her trust issues and being unable to form real bonds with other people as her main flaw, maybe even use it to try and justify the whole thing with the mind Edward can’t read. Like, she’s too different in a way that makes her unable to connect even on a basic level, like that one Blue whale that sings at a different frequency than all the others. Idk,i write pulpy sci fi. but it’s easy to be a general after the battle.

we got to the two infamous lines:

how are you? 17. how long have you been 17?  is another line that’s more jokey than i though it would be, but also the most realistic piece of dialogue in this book. i would so ask the same thing.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, this paragraph has been memed to death. Second, there was a part of me-and I didn’t know how potent that part might be-that would know every word of it till the day i died. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in like with it.

200-300

Not gonna lie, the whole part where he goes around asking her questions he is legitimately interested in knowing the answers to is at the same time my kinkiest fantasy and my deepest fear. like, yaaas, daddy, get to know me on the personal level and don’t be turn off by the fact i’m a tabula rasa.

We got to the infamous meadow scene and Bella is sooo horny on main for that vampire stake it’s actually kinda funny. She gets so effing into it she faints. I fucking love this girl. Go get that adonis dick, Bella, you deserve it.

I don’t mind vampires sparkle.i mean,it’s lame and fanfic-y but in Bosnia we have the lampires so vampires are creatures with a high dose of plasticity. i don’t know why that was like the worst thing anyone has ever done to the vampires. They are kinda too strong and could use a real weakness tho.  

So the lion fell in love with the lamb is kind of another joke. Also, this is the skin of a killer is sadly just in the movie.

I do have the feeling he likes the project that he sees in Bella more than the real girl,but ok. Also stop nagging her. He watches her sleep. What a creep. I don’t know why, but the fact that he’s a vampire who doesn’t have to sleep makes it kinda less creepy for me. I don’t know why.

But “if i could dream at all i would be about you,” is the kind of ultracheese i can get behind. they are both such teenagers and i kinda looooove it.

Also non of the boys were her type is such a lesbian excuse. I feel ya Bella, i feel ya. I hope you discover your gayness after the end of breaking dawn.

We meet the cullens and every single one of them has a backstory like 528 times more interesting than Edward. i need novels about them, all of them ffs. it would be so cool. but, one of my favorite oc’s Errien Lark gets like 30 lines in the whole book so i can only be as harsh on Meyer as on myself (which is to say a lot. neither of us deserve these characters, honestly)

This book would have been more interesting if Bella fell in love in any other cullen. Like, Bella and Alice, Bella and jasper (Bella and Jasper and Alice. Sorry, i’m into solving love triangles with ot3s).Bella and Rosalie, Calilise, Esme, even Emmett, who i remember  as mike of the vampires, but it’s been a decade.

300 pages in and plot is yet to happen, but it’s ok. we have the vampire baseball next.

the last part.

get your hot takes! hot takes right here

I kinda like billy. He seems like a nice guy. Also billy/charlie as my new otp.

“The beautiful one,the godlike one.” Bella, you are such a teen.

The less fucks she has about him being an all powerful ancient creature of the night who can murder her in a heartbeat, the funnier it is. She is just soo casual about it. Comedy gold, i tell ya. i mean, this is actually part of the narrative, Edward comments on it, meyer knows what she wrote.

Ed,maybe is you stopped saying she smells good, you would be better at not thinking about her as food. Mind over matter. Just a thought. Maybe i misjudged his virgin ass. Maybe ed the incel actually fell in love with her. Or at least what he thinks is love since they’ve been dating for like two days (look who’s talking?the girl who reads any sign of affection as a statement of love and then gets disappointed).

“Emmett could never be compared to a gazelle”. That’s sexist steph. Emmett, honey, you are as gracious as you want to be.

Also a big yaaaas on the whole concept of vampire baseball. we needed more of it.

Plot! Plot! Plot! Plot! Plot!

We have encountered plot. Only 320 pages in. three bad vampires came into town.

Story time: when i was in high school, all like 20 of us in out class were really, really into twilight (dudes included). we quoted it all the time but the height of comedy happened when someone brought their friend from another school to out class and someone else was like “you brought a snack” and a meme was born to be quoted endlessly for months. it was actually kinda fun. and probably very annoying for anyone who wasn’t into twilight.

Also, any development? Backstory? Motivations other than for the hell of it for out boi James and his ginger girlfriend? come on, it wouldn’t even be that hard. Also, some foreshadowing? There was like one line before. This is a legitimate criticism. it’s kinda shitty writing and a wasted opportunity.

Edward is being a dick again. I get he’s scared but her dad could die. Or maybe they’ll trun him into a vampire too (charlie/Edward? Think about it). But they all call him out on it which is nice. Bella’s plan isn’t bad, but “let me go charlie” is the straight up coldest thing i have read in a long time. it’s supposed to be, this isn’t criticism, just stating the obvious. But she showed like an inclining of love for her dad who has been nothing but nice all this time. Yeeey, she’s not a robot.

“It was the best idea. Of course it was mine” . Yaas, queen, you’re not that much of a doormat;  take that credit.

i would do something to foreshadow the ballet studio thing in the first half of the book. at least, have Bella or Charlie looking at pictures from her recital, just to intricate it to the plot a bit more.

Ok, now i remember why i was team jasper. He is so effing nice. And he would be awesome for my depression. Neira/Alice/jasper, i ship it.

i’m kinda digging the explanations of how vampires work and the whole venom thing. They are still op af and need to be nerfed, but i wanna be one.

Of course, he used the mom. She’s like the only person bella actually cares about. She falls for it. i would probably fall too, but i’m dumb.

the fact that james hunted Alice is a nice and a very much needed twist. it did catch me of guard. i would be more mad he’s a bad guy monologing, but i can only introduce stones to my own glass houses.

Bella’s now more into the idea of being a vampire than into Edward and i’m living for it. she’s going to use him for his venom and a baby and run off with rosalie.

“and how many times did she fall our of a window?” (yes, that is a Sherlock reference in the year 2018 of our lord. maybe i should do that for my next project. should i wait a few more years?)

her mom is not worried enough, honestly. my mom would be freaking out. but my mom has anxiety issues, so idk… (i couldn’t get her smooth hairless legs, or her blue eyes but i got that gene. thanks, i guess) .

“And i have a couple of girlfriends” now that’s a novel i want to read but i guess i’ll have to write the lesbian twilight myself.

“I want to be superman too”. yeeees, finally, kristen steward in the role of superman casting of the century. you would all watch it and love it, and you know it.

Charlie doesn’t deserve this shit. when will he retire with his husband billy in their cabin where they can fish all day.

“Do you want me to bolt the door so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk?“ Are we sure she hasn’t been a vampire from day one?

Jacob is a sweetie (for now) just putting that out there.

Edward is kinda being unreasonable. being a vampire in your universe isn’t that bad.

Aaaaw, and that’s a wrap.

i actually kinda digged it. it’s nothing special, but i read these last 150 pages in one sitting. my main issues are writing oriented. very little foreshadowing, many filter words and things like that, but i guess if you aren’t that into writing, you might not even notice more of that.

it’s not the death of literature, it’s not the worst love story ever told. it’s just a silly and mostly harmless wish fulfillment novel.

edward can be a controlling and condescending prick but he gets called out on it very often. it’s not like meyer is completely oblivious to what she’s writing. and even tho he’s 100, i guess they are all mostly stuck mentally at the age when they were turned. or at least that’s how it seems to me. bella is kind of a bitch to everyone who’s not a vampire and she’s never called out on it, there’s a glimpse of change in the epilogue, but i don’t think meyer really considered it a character flaw. which is a shame, as it could have made for an interesting character. all the vampires have stories i would rather read about, as i said before, but what can ya do? that’s what’s fanfics are for.

i may write more of cohesive thought on it when it settles in my brain, but first, i need to watch the movie. i have a hypothesis i need to test.

but i don’t regret doing this. it was kinda fun and now i’m no longer ashamed of my twihard phrase. i could have done worse, as far as teen phases go.

Someone should like write a fanfic, but Edward is not a vampire, but a rich guy. And he’s into some hard core spanky business. And they should take all the problematic elements and just crank them up to 11. And add a looot of sex. I bet they could make millions.

Tho, honestly, how can you read twilight and not make bella the kinky dom? you fundamentally misunderstood the story. for shame

[firelord-frowny]

The more I watch Star Trek, the more I do not understand why my dad is such a mean, compassionless, socially inept piece of garbage. 

I’ve only watched The Next Generation and a huge majority of Deep Space Nine (I’ve got about half of the last season left) but it often seems like the entire point, or at least a huge point of the show, is to explore different kinds of people and different points of view without judgment. Even characters with enough authority to be able to order everyone around unchallenged don’t abuse their power - they give orders with good reason, and unless the situation is urgent, they’re often willing to justify their decisions if someone raises concern with them. 

Captain Sisko is the kindest, most compassionate father I’ve ever seen in any medium of storytelling. He’s strong and decisive and unwavering, but he’ll also kiss his son on the forehead. He’s brave and exhibits many ‘manly’ traits, but he also bothers to be close and affectionate with his son. 

Picard isn’t exactly a warm, snuggly fella, but he’s also definitely not an asshole. He may not always be comfortable with the kind of closeness that many folks appreciate from their loved ones, but he’s sure to show his appreciation in other ways. He’s firm and authoritative without being cruel... he values other points of view, and doesn’t seek to make others feel stupid for seeing things different than him... 

Dr. Julian Bashir is a genetically altered super-human who’s just generally smarter and faster and more skilled than ‘normal’ people. A person like my dad would use their intellect to try to make others feel inferior. A person like Dr. Julian Bashir has no interest in making people feel like shit. He wants healthy friendships. He’s fully capable of asserting himself as Better Than Everyone, but why the hell would he do that to people he loves?? 

I’ve known many a self-satisfied-dudebro to hail Data as the shining beacon of Logic And Reason. They’ll gush over how much they, with their willful and proud ineptitude, “relate” to data. Yet they don’t see, right in front of their own faces, how Data still works hard to abide by social norms he doesn’t understand, just because he knows it makes the people who care about him feel comfortable and happy. He knows that people don’t appreciate bad news delivered bluntly. So he makes an effort to be gentle. If someone seems to feel hurt or offended by something he’s said or done, he seeks to understand what he did, and what he should have done instead, so he won’t hurt that person again. What he definitely does NOT do is stomp his feet on the ground and bitch about how he’s not the one who was wrong, or now it’s not his fault that someone chose to be offended, or that it’s the other person’s fault for being illogical, and that if only everyone else where as intelligent and logical as him, then there’d be no problem. 

Why? Because even a fucking android, apparently, can understand and appreciate the value and purpose of people’s emotions, and why it’s important to respect them, even if they can’t fully grasp what emotions even are. He recognizes that his inability to easily factor the role of emotion into his opinions and decisions is a handicap, not an advantage. Precisely because he’s so logic-driven and fact-driven, he understands that neglecting to consider the role of emotion when interacting with others is inherently illogical. He doesn’t go around praising himself for refusing to respect people’s feelings. 

And I just????? 

Do not understand how a person who claims to love and understand this show and all its characters so much can, at the same time, choose to be such a fucking monster. Didn’t you learn ANYTHING?? Do you even NOTICE that you have way more in common with Dukat and Q and the Pah Wraiths and Lore than you do with Picard or Sisko or Data? 

I don’t get it. I don’t get it. I don’t get it. 

[friedchicken96]

My Top 10 DBH Fics

So I am absolute trash for the dbh fandom, fair warning. This fandom is lowkey dead but I'm still here and would just like to compile some of my all time favorite fics in this fandom! Note all these fics are hankcon and/or reed900.

Also if anyone else is still out there in the dbh fandom I beg of you that to help me keep this fandom alive 💙

Also wow there are so many amazing fics in this fandom besides those which are on this list! Thank you authors for all that you do, I would definitely put up an honorable mentions if this wasn't long enough already!

For @lynndia if you ever feel curious about my obsessions with dbh

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10. Skin Deep- This is a lovely soulmate au that closely follows canon, but in this case Hank gains a soul mark with Connor's serial number on it months before the events take place.

9. Exit Music- Wow this fic is so thick with its own world building and plot! I would actually find it difficult to summarize, as this fic is a very investigative piece with many twists and turns. A lot is changed from canon but much is also the same, it would probably be easier to understand if you read the fic summary.

8. Retrograde- So this fic is basically a what happens when Connor kills Markus, ends the revolution, and deviates immediately after. He and Hank go on the run while Connor is weighed down with immense guilt and wondering if he can ever truely be free.

7. The Other Way to Someday- Human au where Connor is Cole's elementary school teacher, and he and Hank end up flirting but have to keep it secret to protect Connor's job. This fic is so fun and filled with some of the best smut! I especially love just how human the characters are in this fic, and how they communicate and resolve conflict with one another feels very heartfelt and realistic.

6. Eighteen Wheels on an Uphill Climb- Ah this fic is so good! It was bittersweet to see it end! This fic is a human au in which Hank drives a eighteen wheeler, and helps a very beaten up Connor who's lost everything back to Detroit. There is so much about this fic that I love, the Americana themes, general feeling of traveling on a long road, and just the two getting to know each other better and slowly break down each others walls all within the confines of a truck, motel, or pit stop.

5. What Was Once Broken is Now Gold- Reed/900 fic where Gavin meets Nines after a traumatic accident that leaves him hospitalized and without an arm. This fic goes through Gavin's recovery and a new case, while the two manage to get closer together. I love how this fic breaks down Gavin's rougher edges and shows his recovery from a traumatic accident and his growth as a person. I also love how Nines can be such a softie in this fic as well.

4. Domesticity- This fic is absolutely adorable and so heartwrenching in so many ways! Au where Connor is a domestic android bought by Hank to help him take care of a 2 year old Cole after his wife's abandonment of them. This fic follows them through the years of Cole's childhood, the growth of Connor towards deviancy, and the slow feelings they begin to share. Tradgey and conflicts test them and threaten to break the small family, but they fight to stay together. The most recent chapter made me cry ugly tears while reading it at work lmao

3. Charon- My absolute favorite Reed/900 fic! It showcases just how much of an asshole Gavin and for that matter Nines can be. Written in Gavin's twisted pov, he attempts to navigate a particularly propelling case, while facing a moral/philosophical delemma of what androids really are and how that affects his feelings towards Nines. Gavin's self destructive nature is on full display here, and he really shows his true colors of an incredibly flawed human being. I adore this fic, the symbolism, the interpersonal conflicts between Nines and Gavin, the conflict within Gavin himself, the villan who is so well personified as someone who's both incredibly powerful and incredibly weak, a neckbeard dudebro with a minneweagon accent and a god complex, and I just love love love this fic!

2. The Entire Memory of You - oof this fic series is something else. I fucking love it but god does it hurt. The interpersonal conflict between Hank and Connor is so soooooooo well written! And the way it fits in a sort of slice of life format as the angst and conflict slowly builds creating lots of mood whiplash, and showcasing both Hank and Connor as incredibly flawed and human characters. Their flaws both drawing them close and holding them apart in the same breath. God some of the arguments are absolutely painful to read, yet so well written, and full of "oh shit" moments! Will the outside conflict finally help them sort out their interpersonal conflict? Fuck if I know hopefully it updates soon. :')

1. A Tourest in a Dream- The holy grail for Hankcon fans. The author set out to write Hankcon in the most healthy relationship they could and god if it isn't wholesome af! It's so well written and wonderful to watch Hank and Connor grow as people together, and make each other happier than ever before. Meanwhile some really exciting cases, incredibly well written ocs, and glorious smut comes along for the ride! It's hard to describe just how good this fic is, how the author captures the atmosphere just right, makes you laugh and cry in the same chapter, and just brings about a feeling of wholeness and family. It really is SUCH a great fic!

[uzumaki-rebellion]

Black Boys Bloom Thorns First Chapter 15

"Ain't see this side of me Fluent in the sheets Can you read in between me? I ain't a stranger to the foreplay So we can skip the wordplay

Leave the lights on Leave the, leave the lights on Leave 'em lights on…"

H.E.R. – "Lights On"

The Blue Rose was a nondescript tan industrial building set inside a cul de sac. The only signage outside were the numbers of the address lit in neon blue colors. N'Jobu sat in his car to gather himself. What did he really plan to do? Drag her outside and berate her for working in a place like that? Stand in front of a stripper pole and yell at her for shaming herself in public? The blood in his veins surged through his hands as he gripped his steering wheel. How did he not know she worked in a place like this? He had assumed it was an all-night diner.

He saw several boisterous men walking in, and when he saw the dark mahogany double doors open, he could hear the loud thump of bass music, and various catcalls and whistles. When the doors closed again, he heard nothing. He closed his eyes. She was a grown woman. This was just a job. She was just earning money to support herself—

The thought of her naked and writhing on a stage propelled him out of his car, his hands balled into agitated fists. He entered the building and found a young fair-skinned Black woman behind an elaborate register. She was wearing a baseball top that was entirely too small for her large bosomed frame and the shortest shorts that displayed all her assets. She was re-supplying paper to her credit card machine. When she glanced back up, she took a long hard look at his clothes and his face before releasing a seductive grin.

"Hello there," she said.

N'Jobu handed her a black credit card and she swiped it. A separate set of doors led to the main room, and when he walked through, the smell of desperate horny men assailed his nostrils. Flashing laser lights, deafening music, and monetary notes were thrown on three separate stages. The two stages on the side were small and flanked by a larger one with a shining silver pole that ran through the ceiling. N'Jobu posted himself up at one of the three bars in the establishment, his eyes watching the stage as three women pranced out into position and began a new set.

Big tits, big asses, and thick thighs were the preference of this space, and the multi-ethnic male audience was appreciative and generous with their cash. The women were good-looking, athletic and limber. Also, completely nude. Glancing around N'Jobu already noticed a tent city with some of the men having intimate lap dances. He already felt a tension in his neck. Bast forbid he should see his woman grinding on some undeserving cock. He needed a drink.

Ordering a scotch on the rocks, N'Jobu leaned in towards the shapely rainbow-haired bartender to pay for his drink. She took one look at N'Jobu, then his credit card, and saw dollar signs.

"You look like a man who needs his own V.I.P. space," Rainbow girl said.

"Is that right?"

She nodded her head towards a space behind him. He looked in the direction she wanted him to see.

"Up there are private sections. I can set you up with bottle service. Exclusive. Private server…very private."

He caught her drift. He didn't even bother to ask her how much, just waved at his card.

"Set me up, I'll run a tab," he said.

Her eyes traced the outline of his expensive designer shirt. She saw his watch and the tasteful white gold chain around his neck. Rainbow grabbed another woman walking behind her with a tray of empty shot glasses.

"Misty, take this customer to booth twenty and set him up."

Misty, a Black and Vietnamese beauty, scanned N'Jobu with her dark eyes and her face lit up. Rainbow handed N'Jobu his scotch and Misty took him by his hand and led him to the steps that propped him up above the rest of the patrons. A man dressed in a decent suit and worked security for the V.I.P. section bent down to hear Misty talk. The suit unlinked a blue velvet rope allowing N'Jobu to walk up to his private perch.

The set up was decent; some Moroccan style couches and two black velvet chairs that sat close to a glass railing to see the action below. N'Jobu stood looking down at the main stage, his eyes darting to and fro for any sign of Califia among the women giving lap dances in the audience. The Blue Rose was huge and a bit chaotic.

"I'll be your personal server Mr., …?"

He didn't give her his name, just walked over to her and looked down at her face.

"Just bring me a bottle of champagne. Top shelf."

"Would you like any food, we have an excellent—"

N'Jobu shook his head. His mind was speeding ahead to what he would say when he saw Califia, or even what he would do. He needed privacy.

"Just bring me the champagne, for now, Misty," he said, enunciating her name so that his accent had the desired effect. She was swooning.

"Be right back," she said, adding extra swerves to her walk going down the steps.

He went back to standing near the railing. The dancer on the stage was being switched out again, the voice of an MC introduced the next performer. N'Jobu held his breath until he saw a slender Latina with ginormous knockers shimmy her way onstage to a fast trap beat.

"Shit," N'Jobu whispered to himself.

Scanning the room, he saw female servers catering to male customers and a few scattered handfuls of women patrons. The main dancer on stage held the pole with her hands and shook her naked ass so hard he thought it would snap off and fall to the ground. Laser lights and theatrical smoke, reeking of the dry ice that created it, wafted throughout the space, and a certain server caught his eye from afar. It was the two braids in her hair. He watched the server hand out drinks, take a few orders and then move past the main stage towards a bar in the back that was out of his field of vision.

Califia.

He felt his body relax. She only presented food and drinks. She wasn't on the pole. A part of him, the lascivious part of himself was a bit disappointed. Did he really think he was going to stand there in an elevated private section and watch her gyrate while sliding up and down a pole with her legs open with an audience? Did he really want to see that?

Sitting in his car earlier he envisioned all kinds of scenarios, men running up to the stage and throwing money on her, dudebros making filthy monetary notes full of damp sweat rain down on her breasts and ass. Drunk guys trying to press their faces into her chest to be motorboated, their dirty hands rubbing their sad crotches and then rubbing some part of her.

Misty returned with a fancy bottle inside a bucket of ice, and a single champagne flute held out to him. She placed the bucket on a table and pulled open the cork that had been popped before she came up the stairs. She poured his glass to the top. He drank until the flute was half empty.

"Will you need anything else?" Misty licked her lips and ran her fingertips across her nipples. Her hustle was not subtle. She may just be a server, but she was willing to give N'Jobu whatever he desired. A lap dance or even more. Had this been weeks in the past, N'Jobu may just as well sat on one of the couches, spread his legs and let this beauty climb on him, but he had something more valuable downstairs. And he wanted her in his presence. Immediately.

He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out his wallet and lifted out a fifty-dollar bill.

"There's a server downstairs with two braids and freckles near the stage. Send her up here to me, please."

Misty's face didn't fail to hide her disappointment.

"The girls downstairs have their sections that they are assigned…"

"I want her. Now."

Misty took the fifty and shuffled downstairs.

N'Jobu went to lord over the crowd and watch for his woman. She was making her rounds with a large tray of drinks that she balanced in one hand while fending off overzealous hands with the other.

The high heels she wore made her legs look longer and even sexier, and her uniform, the same as all the women servers and bartenders in the spot, was a tighter baseball top and short shorts that allowed lesser men to see nearly all of her curvy behind. He watched her bend over near the stage to listen to a man, and even from that distance, he could tell the other men watching her were salivating at the view she displayed. How many of them in that moment were fantasizing about getting up behind her, holding her waist and thrusting forward into that round piece of heaven?

He saw Misty approach her. He waited.

###

Califia was making bank tonight. Her push up bra was stuffed with fives, tens and a few twenties. She was going to have to run to the staff room soon to place her collected tips into her backpack located inside her personal locker so she could make room for more. She guestimated that she already had around two-hundred dollars, and her shift was still early. She would be working until six in the morning.

Making her way towards a few tables close to the stage, Califia saw Misty, a club favorite, come bounding up to her.

"Li Li, there's a guy up in twenty who wants you to be the server."

Califia glanced at Misty's pouting lips.

"I'm cleaning up here. Get someone else," Califia said, writing down two separate orders for two different tables.

She purposely had her hip thrust out, trying to finesse hard-up men with eye candy. The men she was taking orders from were definitely into big legs, so she wanted to make sure they could see her extra cocoa-buttered thighs. The club DJ was playing a hard banger of a classic Big Freedia bounce re-mix, so Califia added a few subtle body rolls as she took drink and food orders much to the delight of the men and two women in her section.

Misty rolled her eyes at Califia, but she seemed a little happy with the response she received.

"I'll let him know," Misty said flouncing away.

Califia looked up towards V.I.P., but the distance, bright lights, and smoky atmosphere made it impossible to see the person above them. Clearly, they had the paper to be up there, but Califia just wanted to take orders and serve drinks. V.I.P. work got a little handsy and often illicit. God bless the working girls that went that route, but she was good for the evening.

Califia made sure to give special attention to the two women patrons in her section. She checked in with them often, making sure they had plenty of water and the free salted snacks on each table.

"Let me know if you need anything," was her refrain for them. She did it not because she wanted tips from them, but to make them comfortable in the den of snakes men could turn into in a spot like that. Califia could handle herself with disrespectful clientele, but she had witnessed too many times the sharp turn a night could take with drunk touchy-feely males who could quickly forget a woman sitting in the audience wasn't a worker for the club.

"Come give me a dance, Ma," a guy called to her when she swept past with her empty tray on her way back to the bar.

Califia smiled sweetly, blew him a kiss, but kept it moving.

###

When Misty sauntered back up the stairs, she had a mischievous smile on her face.

"She doesn't want to come up here. Like I told you, all of our ladies have sections they are assigned to. And right now, Li Li is very content where she is."

N'Jobu glanced back down towards the main floor. He saw a man reach out and slap Califia's ass while she was carrying a full tray of beer bottles. He swallowed hard and turned his eyes back towards Misty.

"I can take care of you," Misty said.

N'Jobu took slow deliberate strides over to Misty. He towered over her but brought his lips to her ear.

"Go back down there and tell her this, …inyanga."

"Inyanga?" Misty asked, her face scrunched up in confusion.

"Tell her to come up here again, but if she refuses, get close to her and whisper in her ear, inyanga."

N'Jobu held up another fifty.

Misty stared at him.

"Inyanga?" she said again.

"Perfect," he said. He handed her the fifty and returned to the glass railing. His patience was waning. He didn't want to go down there and cause a scene, but if Califia didn't get her ass up there within the next ten minutes he was liable to go ballistic and bellow her name from the balcony.

###

"What?" Califia asked when Misty crowded her space again.

"That guy in twenty still wants you up there."

"Forget it," Califia said, tucking a wad of bills down into her bra.

Misty stepped closer to her, put her hands onto Califia's arms, and whispered in her ear.

"He told me if you refused to come up again, he wanted me to tell you this…inyanga."

"What? Speak louder, I can't hear you."

"He said if you refused to come to him that I was to tell you this word…inyanga."

Califia eased back from Misty and took a step forward towards the balcony. She still couldn't see the shadowy figure perched up there because of the bright lights and the smoke.

"I'll take your spot," Misty said pulling the empty serving tray from Califia's hand.

Already on autopilot, Califia's legs carried her to the rear of the club, but her eyes were focused up, and eventually, she was able to make out his form and features. She stopped below him. Standing there, eyes raised up to him, the cacophony of action around her became white noise.

Staring down at her, his hands caressing the balcony railing, N'Jobu looked like some ancient haughty Cesar watching a riotous colosseum of bawdy women and lecherous men. How long had he been up there, watching her work? She tried to temper her breathing, but his face in the red glow of the V.I.P. lights had her guessing what he was thinking and feeling. From where she stood, she could clearly see the arch in his eyebrow, the tension in his eyes, and the way his lips poked forward, he was giving her the same stare he had right before he dragged her out of his car and spanked her in the back seat of his BMW. He was giving off molten lava levels of heat. And it was directed at her. She felt her legs quake like she was sinking into quicksand. She waited there like a very bad girl deserving of punishment. The thought made her mouth water.

"N'Jobu," she whispered to herself. His name felt hot and heavy in her mouth, a solid restless thing that needed a release. The moment he saw her lips move with his name, he beckoned with one hand for her to come up.

###

He was drinking champagne when she reached him. Standing near the top of the stairs, Califia watched N'Jobu turn to look at her as he leaned against the balcony.

"Li Li," he said, a smirk dancing on his lips.

She held out her hands.

"What are you doing here?"

"Why are you so far away from me?"

She sauntered in, self-conscious of what she was wearing as his eyes swept across her work uniform.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

"You forgot to take the pie I made for you from my car. I was heading home and thought I'd drop it off. Bakari gave me the name of where you were. So here I am."

She glanced around the V.I.P. room.

"So, where's the pie?"

"Come here."

Califia hesitated then took some tentative steps until she was four feet from him.

"You want a drink? It's their best," he said handing his glass to her. She took it, the only time she ever had the opportunity to taste the best bottle her job had to offer. The champagne went down extra bubbly and extra dry. It was quite excellent. She held the glass out for more and N'Jobu walked over to a table and pulled the bottle out of the ice. He replenished the glass and watched her drink her fill. She offered the rest to him and he finished it, placing the glass on the table.

"Does it upset you that I work here in a place like this?"

"A little. If we weren't together, I probably wouldn't care, but it does irk me a bit if there are people here who touch you or look at you. It is your body, but…"

"But what?"

He shrugged.

"No, I want to hear what you have to say. It's my body, but…?"

"All I see in front of me is mine. Just mine. I don't want these cretins touching my treasure. That's all. And you look so damn hot right now, girl."

She pivoted around nice and slow for him then sashayed close to him so that her chest touched his. She played with the collar of his shirt.

"I've been working here for two years. I know how to handle myself. You don't have to worry, and you don't have to check up on me."

"I wasn't checking up, I just wanted to make sure you had your pie. I'm just surprised that this isn't a restaurant."

"Did you think I was dancing on the pole?"

N'Jobu's eyes looked away from her and he pressed his lips together tight searching for an answer.

"You thought you would see me down there on stage doing the do, huh? Admit it!"

N'Jobu tried to play it off, but she pushed her hand into his chest to make him confess the truth.

"Are you disappointed that you didn't catch me in the act?" she asked staring into his face as he tried to avoid direct eye contact. He was embarrassed. She thought he was so adorable when he was embarrassed. He couldn't even look at her when he was in that state.

"Do you want me to go down there and climb on the stage to fulfill your fantasy, sir?" she joked with him, pretending to walk towards the stairs, "I could get Misty up here because God knows she loves to give lap dances."

N'Jobu walked over to her and pulled her hand into his.

"How about you give me a lap dance, Li Li?"

Califia held his gaze, and then she heard the intro beat to a neo-soul jam, heralding the coming of Califia's favorite performer, Medusa.

"Come watch Medusa with me first," she said, pulling N'Jobu back over to the railing, pushing the velvet chairs together.

A woman with long thick honey-brown braids and dark olive skin took the stage, leaping onto the pole by her legs and spinning, her hair spiraling out of control as gravity whipped it around her turns.

Califia watched N'Jobu watch Medusa do her thing as men in the audience began tossing money and catcalling their appreciation for the level of skill Medusa brought.

The woman climbed her way to the ceiling, flipped upside down, released her hands and just allowed herself to slide down all the way to the bottom without hitting the floor with just her thighs. N'Jobu's eyes squinted hard.

"Wow," he said.

"I know," Califia answered.

Medusa pranced around the stage, her movement accentuating and punctuating the lyrics to the song she danced to.

"Not that I would want it, but you would probably be badass down there," N'Jobu said.

"Nah, that's a whole different skill set, baby," Califia said, patting his thigh.

The music switched up and Medusa elevated her game, causing Califia to jump up and clap.

"Get it, Medusa!" Califia yelled.

Medusa grabbed her own braids and swung her body around, dropping into the splits where they could all admire her abundant ass cheeks as they jiggled in time to the beat.

"I see you all still do that twerking thing," N'Jobu said.

"You think she's hot?" Califia asked.

"Yes. She's beautiful," he said looking up at Califia. He stayed seated and watched her gyrate in her shorts, her decadent thighs having the same effect on him as the patrons that sat downstairs. She raised her arms above her head and shook them with the music, and she felt his intense focus on her face without looking at him. When she did allow herself to look at him again, his eyes drifted to her neck and the cleavage she displayed that had money spilling from it.

"Califia," he said, his voice going low, constrained by what she guessed was his need to touch her.

Califia kept winding her body, her butt flexing and bouncing a bit as she moved in her heels. He tapped her arm.

"Califia," he said again.

She turned to look at him and noticed a change in his demeanor. That heat was back in his eyes.

"I want you to give me a lap dance," he said, patting his thigh.

Her head tilted.

"Well sir, we have rules," she said, running her fingers over her two braids and straightening them on her shoulders.

"I will abide by all of them," he said.

She gave him a long contemplative look then became all business.

"Give me a minute," she said and rushed downstairs.

###

Califia met Misty at the entrance bar.

"So," Misty said, looking Califia up and down, "how is that guy in twenty treating you? He's fucking hot."

Califia reached for four shots of the most expensive tequila the club had and placed them on a tray.

"That guy happens to be my boyfriend."

"No shit?"

"Yep."

"The guy with the black American Express card, Rolex, Hugo Boss fits and come-hither eyes?"

"That's my man."

Misty looked her up and down again.

"He seems a little refined for what I'd expect you to catch."

Califia knew Misty could get a little greasy when she was jealous, which was rare. It made Califia wonder how hard she tried to persuade N'Jobu to keep her as his server.

"How long have you two been together?"

"A year," Califia lied.

"Okay, girl. Still waters run deep, I guess. Wouldn't think you could pull someone like that."

Califia picked up her drinks.

"Darla knows this already, but he doesn't want anyone else coming up there. So pass the word along, would you?" Califia said, walking away with the tray and swiveling her hips. When she faced the security guard she nudged him with her elbow.

"The gentleman upstairs doesn't want to be bothered. Please make sure no one comes up unless he requests them personally. Especially Misty."

###

Califia and N'Jobu tossed back both shots of the tequila she brought up. She made him sit on one of the couches furthest away from the railing where they couldn't be seen. Above the couch were adjustable lights in various colors to set any type of mood. Califia chose a soft white light that allowed him to see, but not harsh enough to kill the mood.

Standing before him she held her hands on her hips.

"Rule number one. No touching."

"Got it," he said.

"Rule number two. No means no. Rule number three, I can stop at any time I choose, and if you make me feel uncomfortable, I will call Rusty, the security guard at the bottom of the stairs."

"Anything else?"

"Have fun."

Califia felt the tequila coursing through her as it chased the champagne she had earlier. She could feel the spreading warmth move from her throat and ease down into her chest. N'Jobu watched her face, his legs slightly parted with his hands resting on the sides of his hips.

The boom bap of the music down below was piped into their V.I.P. area with small but powerful JBL speakers above them. She didn't like the song that was playing, and once Medusa left the stage, the DJ returned to bargain basement beats.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, trying to read her facial expression.

"This song sucks…," she said, wishing she could have an on/off switch to shut down the music.

"I don't care about the music," he said.

She was ready to answer him when a slower seductive instrumental piped in.

"That'll work," she said as the tequila-infused her with liquid courage.

She bent down and kissed him softly on his lips then eased back.

Lord, please don't let this come off corny, she thought as she slid her hands down her waist and onto her knees. She spread her legs and dropped down to the floor. She kept her eyes on him until she spun around in her heels so that she was facing opposite him and eased herself back up so that her ass was near his face. She dropped down onto his lap and heard a slight groan escape him as his hands reached out to hold her waist. She already knew he wanted to lift her up and down.

"I said no touching."

She slapped his hands away as she did slow gyrations on his thighs then lowered her hands to grab her ankles, her legs in an upside-down V formation. She flexed the muscles in her ass causing small spasms of movement in each cheek.

N'Jobu said something in his own language as her fingers did a slow glide back up her legs. She angled her torso so that she could look back at him. She dropped back onto his thighs and inched her way further back on his lap until she could feel herself sitting on his dick.

She rested her hands on his knees, leaned forward and bounced, feeling his semi-erection grow under her. He thrust his hips a bit and she gripped his knees tighter to keep herself steady. The silky thin material of her short shorts was really a poor barrier, and she could feel him stiffening more beneath her wiggling. The tiny black G-string she wore tugged on her labia, the friction causing a pleasurable tingling sensation. She found herself exhaling through her mouth. She wanted to see his face.

Turning her body around, she rolled her hips on his lap, feeling her clit rub against his bulge. She exhaled harder, finding herself losing a bit of focus on the task at hand as she made small circles with her hips. She reached up and pushed her breasts together, her tight shirt forcing her tits to spill from her push up bra. Her nipples perked up, and she tweaked them through the shirt and bra with her fingers. N'Jobu's eyes darted between her face, chest, and waist. Her shorts were sticking to the shape of her vulva and she saw his eyes narrow as he noticed the evidence of her arousal.

"Califia," he whispered, still thrusting his constricted erection between her thighs, "let me see your pussy."

Her eyes closed involuntarily at the sound of his request. She was supposed to be running this lap dance. Not him. When she re-opened her eyes, she saw him staring at her mound, his lips parted, and his face constricted in a way that could be read as both pleasure and pain. He stopped thrusting into her, eyes still on her lower half.

"Ahhh, please…let me see your pussy."

She took her right hand and patted her vulva.

"You want to see it, baby?"

"Yesssss, please," he murmured.

She took her time reaching down between them to slide the material of her shorts to the side with one hand. Her other hand plucked at the G-string and they both saw a shiny thread of her arousal sticking to the panties. She tugged on it so that the thin black material spread open the right side of her inner lips and he could see her opening.

"Califia, shit," he groaned, his index and middle finger reaching over and scissoring her clit. He stared at the small trimmed thatch of her reddish pubic hairs on her mound and the freshly waxed smoothness of her vulva. She felt the flow of blood causing her to engorge, making her pussy a succulent oasis for the perfect dick.

"There are rules. No touching," she said brushing away his fingers, but patting her clit herself. N'Jobu's lips were pressed together in a tight line, his eyes steady on her hand slapping her own skin.

"Look at your fat pussy, baby," he said, his fingers on both hands twitching, trying to hold back from fingering her. His eyes raised to gaze at her again. His face looked twisted in anguish, and it turned her on. She unfastened his pants and he helped her slide his slacks and silk boxers down. She slid her fingers around his fat cock and placed it between her legs so that her slickened labia spread right below the head. She shifted her weight and began rubbing her pussy on his dick. They both could hear the sound of it slipping and sliding on him. N'Jobu's hands made another pitiful attempt to touch her, this time groping for her ass, but she slapped them away again and reached for his white gold neck chain necklace, twisting it in her hand so that she was actually choking him with it.

"I said no touching! Can't you follow the rules, sir?"

His eyes widened a bit with surprise, but she felt his cock pulse underneath her. She held onto the twisted chain and kept grinding on him, a slow tickling building up in her clit. She looked down at her labia pressed onto him. A thin drizzle of pre-cum spilled from his tip and she watched it roll down and coat her lower lips. She gasped and released his chain.

"Bay-bee…," she moaned out to him.

"Go ahead, girl. Give me that pussy."

"Uh, huh, uh, huh,…hmmmm…," was all she got out.

"That's your dick…that's your dick…that's all yours," he uttered, encouraging her to keep grinding on him.

"Huh, Jobu…," she said. She felt her voice straining, the wet evidence of her desire flowing out, making his dick shiny.

"Open up your pussy, let me see it," he said.

Califia reached down, lifted up from his dick and spread open her labia, her slippery fingers barely able to keep her folds spread apart. She saw his mouth drop open again while a deeply felt groan tumbled from his lips.

"You're coming home with me tonight," he said, still staring at her pussy.

"Bay-bee…," she whimpered.

"Look at me…I said look at me, Califia."

She kept her pussy spread open for him but allowed her eyes to rest on his face. The intensity she saw there brought her anxious desire for him to the surface. She closed her eyes seeking a little shelter from his gorgeous face, just enough of a break to let her gather her wits and keep from being overwhelmed by his forceful energy.

"Tell me you want me inside you tonight," he said.

She needed to rub herself against him, needed that fat dick to be buried in her balls deep. She couldn't take any more waiting.

"I want you inside me," she blurted out, "I need to be in your bed. I need you to be in my pussy, Jobu."

She spread her thighs so that her pussy splayed open wider.

"Shit," he said, his eyes wrenched back to her opening, "I'm going to be in there deep, baby."

Califia yelped and dropped back on him with her clit on his dick, rocking him with a frantic energy.

"You want me in there deep?" he asked.

"Yes!" she snapped, her body lurched forward as she held onto his shoulders. He enclosed his fingers around her waist to balance her.

"You'll take all this dick?"

"Yes, baby."

"All of it?"

"Bay-bee—"

"All this dick. Right?!"

"Yes—"

"Say it then! All of it!"

"I'll take all of it! All your dick…all your dick…all of it…Oh…God….Jobu…Jobu…Jobu…"

Califia's head fell forward onto his shoulder and she was cumming,…hard…all over his dick. She trembled in his lap as the spasms in her core rocked her into a state of bliss, her skin thrumming with the feverish release of her orgasm. She felt her toes bunch up as her thighs squeezed his hips.

She felt N'Jobu pull her close to him and she felt the warm breath of his mouth blowing in her ear. He was talking to her in his language again, the soft dulcet tones bringing her back to her senses. She felt his fingers pulling her G-string and shorts back into place despite the stickiness she felt still dripping out of her.

"Go get your things. We're leaving," he said.

"But I have to finish my shift—"

"Fuck that shift," he said, pulling her off of him and fixing his own clothes, "Go. Hurry up. I'll meet you down by the bar near the exit. I need to close out my tab."

She stared at him. They were finally going to do this.

"Call your grandmother and tell her you're not coming home," he said.

Califia saw the heat growing in his eyes again. She was still giddy from her orgasm.

"Don't even bother changing, just get your stuff," he said.

She ran down the stairs. All she could think about was his bed and him on top of her. At last.

###

N'Jobu paid for his time and drinks in V.I.P. Rainbow girl and Misty watched him as he waited for Califia. Misty, in particular, was giving him stares that made him feel like she was upset about something. Their manager, Darla, was not happy when N'Jobu announced in a brisk tone that they needed to find someone else to replace Califia for good.

When Califia walked back from getting her backpack and helmet, N'Jobu interlaced his fingers with hers and guided her out of the club.

"My bike is in the employee parking—"

"We'll come back for it tomorrow," he said shoving open the front double doors of the club.

Outside, the staccato click-clack of her heels echoed in his ears. When they reached his car, he opened the passenger side for her and couldn't keep his eyes off her backside when she climbed in.

He wanted to spank her.

The compulsion rose up in him so fast he had to catch his breath. But he had to get her home first, get her naked, make her understand that he wasn't playing about getting deep inside of her. His dick was a solid mass of neediness. She had him wound up tight, and now that he saw her pussy, and what awaited his cock, he had to fight an inner battle not to fuck her in the backseat right there in the parking lot. He prayed that the fresh box of ultra-thin condoms he had waiting at home could withstand the intense thrusts he had planned for her. He had to close his eyes for a moment when he opened his driver's side door. He hadn't felt this type of anticipation in a long ass time. It was making him feel punch drunk.

Watching her face when she orgasmed gave him such a rush. Even though he loved to hear his women talk back to him when he shared pleasure with them, Califia made his dick even harder with just the sounds and facial expressions she made. Those soft but desperate pants…the way her voice went "Oh!" when his dick rubbed her delicate folds just right, spreading his wetness all over her juicy clit. When he was on the edge, his lips parting as he watched her chase her orgasm, she seemed to pick up on his heightened pleasure, creating a feedback loop that spun him into his tortuous goal of not cumming until they were between his sheets. His balls had become so heavy that he thought he was going to lose it when thankfully, she let go first. He felt that Califia-induced tunnel vision closing in on him.

He started up the car and led them out of the cul-de-sac and away from the club. The first red light he came to, he looked over at her and knew he was in trouble. She had taken off her push up bra, and he could see her hard nipples poking through her top. And those fucking thighs of hers. He reached over and tugged on her shorts.

"Pull those down. To your ankles," he said.

Her eyes drifted across his face. The hard-line look in his eyes let her know he wanted it done right away. She pulled them down, letting her shorts and G-string sit atop her heels. He reached over with his right hand giving her mound a gentle tap.

"Open your legs," he said.

"Hmphh,…baby," she sighed, spreading her thighs a little bit. He tapped her there again a little harder with two fingers. She let her head fall back onto the headrest, but she kept her fervent eyes on him while twisting her lips.

"Show me your pussy again," he demanded, "use both of your hands."

Califia gently peeled back her inner lips and opened her center up to him. He checked the traffic light again. It was still red. He wet his ring and index finger with his mouth, then reached over and teased her opening. When her strained whimpering got the best of him, he inserted his fingers inside of her, just to the first knuckle.

"Jobu," she gasped. He pressed in more, all the way in, curling his fingers a bit. He started to tap along her wall.

The light turned green and he kept his fingers inside of her, giving slow rhythmic thrusts as he drove.

"I'm getting this pussy ready," he said, "don't move."

Driving closer to his apartment, he made his digits work a little faster. She dropped her fingers from her opening when they reached another red light.

"No, …put them back. Keep your pussy open for me, just like that…yes…wider…you're so wet for me…open it wider…yesssss… look at that pretty pussy…"

Her whimpering devolved into raw tremulous pants. Her eyes were still on him but at half-mast. He pulled his fingers out and yanked her top up so he could see her breasts.

"Fuck…," he said, squeezing her left breast and fussing with her nipple, "keep that pussy open."

She did. He played with her tits, then stuck three fingers inside of her. She kept her eyes on him.

"I like how you hold that pussy open for me," he said stroking her insides. She squirmed in the seat.

They came to another red light and he pulled his fingers out.

"Play with your tits for me."

Califia cradled and kneaded her breasts with such sensual touches that he found himself mumbling curse words in Wakandan. He told her how nice and ripe her breasts were, how he couldn't wait to suck on them after he fucked the shit out of her. She had no idea what he was saying, but he sensed the tone in which he spoke to her was getting his message across. Crude thoughts consumed his mind and he couldn't help it. He felt intoxicated watching her while also watching for the light to change.

Her thumbs and index fingers massaged her nipples, plucking them at intervals that made him forget to check the light. His escalating desire was making him impatient. He slipped his fingers back inside of her, hooking them so that he could tease her clit with the rest of his hand. He drove on while still giving her thrusts with his fingers. His dick jumping in his pants was almost unbearable.

"Jobu," she whined, and he couldn't look at her, his eyes fixed on the road, trying to make it safely to his apartment without crashing because of her distracting wet pussy. He spoke to her again in Wakandan, his tongue hitting the roof of his mouth brushing near his incisors as his words now incorporated the traditional clicks of his language. It was when he was telling her how she was making him feel and his tongue made a loud "clop" sound that she lost it.

He felt a tightening on his fingers and heard a long drawn out moan stagger from her mouth in waves.

"Yes, baby," he shouted at her as he felt her thighs slam shut around his fingers, "cum on my hand!"

He pulled up to the security gate of his apartment and put his car in park awkwardly with his left hand. Turning his head, he stared down at his fingers between her legs and then dragged his eyes up to her face. Her eyes were squeezed shut and she had her hands cupping her breasts like a divine offering. He wanted to reach into his pants and pull out his erection so he could decorate her tits with his semen, but his bed was mere seconds away in his mind.

He gently removed his fingers from inside of her, and her eyes parted open slightly, barely registering his face. He stuck his fingers in his mouth to taste her.

"Fuck," he said, licking his fingers with deliberate care as she watched him with sated eyes.

He found his parking spot and watched her slowly pull up her G-string and shorts. Hopping out of the driver's side, he wasted no time grabbing her backpack from the backseat and helping her out on wobbly legs. He clasped her hand and walked her up the stairs and into his home.

###

She felt like she was floating.

The minute they were inside the apartment, N'Jobu tossed her backpack on the couch and began kissing her without turning any lights on. She matched his intensity as he backed her towards his bedroom. When he had her in front of his open bedroom door he released her lips but kept his face near hers. She could feel heat radiating from his body. Draping her hands around his neck, she waited for him to say something.

"Is everything okay?" she finally asked when a minute seemed to pass and he didn't move or say anything. Was he changing his mind? His enthusiasm seemed to taper off.

"N'Jobu?"

She touched his face, unable to see him well in the dark hallway. He reached behind her and turned on his bedroom lights. His face illuminated, she realized she was mistaken about his excitement tapering off. She could see a yearning in his eyes, and his lips made her ache to kiss him again.

"I want to take my time with you," he finally said, touching one of her braids.

"Okay," she answered, giving him a shy smile.

He stared at her a bit longer, like he was trying to figure out the words he wanted to say. In the car, his voice rumbled foreign words that coaxed her into a state of uninhibited physical abandon. Sitting in a car with her legs spread open, the old torments of worrying that she would take forever to relax and climax was gone. She tumbled so fast into her orgasm that she almost forgot where she was when he helped her out of his car.

Trusting her instincts, Califia stepped into his bedroom backward, slowly unbuttoning her top. The track lights in his bedroom were ultra-bright. N'Jobu reached over and tried to lower the intensity of the lighting.

"Keep them all the way up. I want to see all of you," she said, kicking off her heels and sliding her shorts and panties off.

She stepped away from her clothes and kept easing back until her calves hit the bed. It was a lot lower than she expected. Glancing around she saw that all his furniture was dark chestnut, and he had a wing-backed chair propped near his mirrored sliding closet doors.

Looking back at him, she watched him unbutton his shirt, taking it off along with a black t-shirt and tossing them onto the chair. As he slipped off his shoes and socks, Califia crawled onto his bed, resting on her knees with her thighs spread wide. She skimmed her fingers around her breasts, cupping them in her hands and holding them up for him. His eyes were glued to her nipples as he slipped out of his pants and underwear.

Her eyes drifted down to look at his cock.

Jesus.

He was still semi-erect, but if he had more to fill out…

She felt a fiery electric spark race up her spine. He was the most beautiful naked man she had ever seen. Every ratio on his body was in proportion for complete perfection, and she couldn't get over the even rich color of skin. His white-gold necklace glowed against his ebony skin. Her eyes raked up and down his body and she was especially intrigued by the deep V lines that ran from his waist to his groin.

Plucking her nipples again, she rested her thighs back on her haunches. His eyes never left her breasts and she saw his dick grow to full hardness without him touching it, the weight of it making it bob up and down. A small gasp left her mouth and her fingers found their way between her legs as she played with her prominent slick folds. His eyes caught that movement as she teased her opening. She was learning all the things that got him off, and opening up her pussy lips and displaying them was a big turn on for him, so she tormented him a bit by opening and closing her folds while bouncing a bit on his bed, letting her pussy touch the expensive duvet. It worked. He grabbed his dick in one hand and slapped the weight of it in the other.

"Ooh..shit…" she whispered and fell all the way back on the bed, stunned by the loud thwack sound his dick made as he struck his palm several times with it. She bent her knees and spread her legs, working her fingers in small circles around her clit as she watched him approach her.

N'Jobu stroked his dick and kept his eyes fixed on her eyes. Califia sunk her fingers back inside herself, already super-charged by the sight of his cock and that fat sack of his. Her nose was crinkled and she felt her eyes squeeze shut as she smooshed her lips together. She craved another orgasm.

She felt her thighs being hooked and dragged to the edge of the bed. Eyes snapping open, she found N'Jobu down on his knees by the side of the bed with his face between her legs. Her thighs were hanging over his muscular arms.

"Lay back," he said in a soft voice.

"But I want to watch you," she whispered back.

He stared in her eyes for a few seconds.

"Then watch," he said, placing his entire mouth over her pussy.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh."

N'Jobu sucked pussy liked he sucked on her tits; Gentle. Probing. And oh, so slow.

The hair on his goatee gave a delicious tickle to her private parts, and he flattened his wide tongue to roll over her folds. His tongue explored each side of her labia, and when he feasted on her clit with delicate licks and circular sucking motions, she felt like she wanted to cry because he was gazing at her with such adoration as he did it. Every now and then his eyes would close and he would use his mouth to hum and vibrate her pussy. Lapping up her juices, he dipped his tongue in and out, still holding her thighs apart.

"Hunnhhhhhh," came out of her mouth, and he slowed down to an even more excruciating snail-like pace. All she could think was, This nigga is tryna kill me before I even get the dick.

His fingers slid up her waist and ribcage, gripping her breasts in each hand, squeezing, shaking, and claiming their fullness. Once he toyed with her nipples, an inner connection was made and a strong sexual current shot down to her clit. She began to moan and he lifted his head to stare at her pussy.

"Damn…Califia…girl….look at your pussy twitching…."

She lifted herself higher on her elbows and looked down at his glistening lips, goatee, and cheeks as his eyes were riveted to her clit. She could see herself jumping down there. He was mesmerized, allowing his tongue to dip and lick inside her juicy wet opening, then watch the reaction of her clit as it continued to quiver on its own. He took his thumb and pressed down on her clit with light pressure, then gave a slow delicate swirl to it with his tongue.

"Bay-bee," she said, wanting to cum all in his mouth at that point.

"Califia, I need to cum, real quick. I just…I have to… I can't…ah…shit…"

N'Jobu released her thighs and she saw his right hand grab his dick and stroke it.

Wait. Wait. Wait.

Was he about to bust one while he hadn't finished her off?

Legs splayed open, and her pussy on the verge of imploding from his mouth, she watched him stare at her pussy while he long stroked himself. He placed his fingers under the fat head and tugged hard.

"Your pussy is still twitching, girl. Goddammit….goddammit…your pussy—"

He gritted his teeth as he aimed his dick towards the hem of the duvet and released a stream of semen along with a painful groan that excited her even more. After draining his dick, N'Jobu looked at the puddle of cum he left on the bottom of the bed cover.

"Fuck," he said, his breathing unsteady, his fingers releasing his cock.

Before she could bitch to him, he was back on her pussy with a vengeance, and this time she fell all the way on her back, letting him have his way. Staring at the ceiling all she could hear was the smacking of his lush lips, the sublime gushy sounds escaping between her thighs with each lap of his tongue. She reached down and stroked his head with her fingers. He nipped, sucked, and swallowed everything that she gave him, and when he started humming and making her skin vibrate at her core once more, she gratefully came undone, her hips and legs bucking with unrestrained ardor. He had to hold her thighs apart to keep her from smothering him.

Looking down at him, he had a smile on his face as he studied her reaction.

"Oh my God…Jobu…baby…what the fuck?!"

Her body jerked a bit, and she closed her eyes, drawing in deep breaths to control her trembling. N'Jobu crawled up alongside her and kissed her. She sucked her own taste from his mouth and loved every moment of it as he fingered her right breast.

Drawing her in closer, he draped his arm over her stomach and kissed her cheek.

"You taste so fucking good," he said.

She beamed as she felt her body sink into a languorous state. She was so happy that she didn't have to leave his bed right away. She had texted Soliel at the club that she wouldn't be coming to spend the night with her, so there was no need to tell her grandmother anything. She wasn't expected anywhere until Saturday evening.

She stretched her body like a well-fed cat and threw her arm across N'Jobu's, looking him in his eyes.

"You made me feel so good. Three orgasms…"

She stretched again, a small yawn escaping her lips.

"Tired?" he asked.

"It's been a long day."

"It has," he said, kissing her cheek again, "you want to take a shower?"

The fingers on his left hand were still stroking and plying her breasts with light caresses, and she felt hypnotized by the motion. He would circle a nipple, then squeeze her breasts so that her large areolas would peek out from his hand. He bent his head to suck and bite at them as he was talking to her.

"I can give you a long clean t-shirt, and I have a lot of different body washes you can choose from…"

She tried to concentrate on his words but his handling of her breasts had her revving up again.

"Damn, you suck titties so good, boy…" she said, arching her back as his nipple play had her opening her legs again.

She reached up and pulled his hand back down between her legs, then reached for his dick. It had gone slightly soft. Slightly.

"So, a shower?" he said.

"I want you in me," she said showing no restraint as she worked his cock.

His eyes bulged when she squeezed his balls.

"Didn't you promise me you would go deep inside me?"

She massaged his cock until it was standing at attention. He grabbed it away from her and dragged it up and down and around her opening. When he pressed it against her center, she looked down at it nervously. It was so big. She watched him tease circles in her folds. He didn't think he wasn't going to use a condom, did he? She tensed a bit when she thought he was going to shove himself inside her unprotected and placed her hand on his hand to stop him from trying.

He kissed her again and rolled over towards a pillow. He reached under and pulled out a condom. She felt her body go slack with relief. He tore open the packet and rolled the condom onto himself. It was clear and fit his huge dick like a thin layer of skin. It was a brand she was unfamiliar with. Of course, he had a dick size that was new to her too.

N'Jobu pulled her closer and kissed her, and she eased into his full lips. In all honesty, they could kiss all night and she would be enthralled with him, but his dick was jutting out and striking her belly. He brushed a finger over her breasts again then whispered in her ear.

"Are you ready for me?"

"Yes."

He stroked her clit again, then dipped his fingers lower.

"So wet," he muttered.

He positioned himself between her legs, and she rested her thighs in her own hands, lifting them up a bit, presenting herself to him. She saw his face quake when she did that. There was something about serving herself up to him that just sent him over the edge. He reached over and grabbed a pillow for her lifting her up a bit and placing it under her back for comfort.

He looked down into her eyes, and she felt a swelling in her heart. He kept his eyes on her, then looked down for a second as he lined up his cock. She felt him press the head of his dick inside her, and then his eyes were back on her.

He pushed in slowly, watching the expression on her face. She shifted her hips as he eased in more. He was a third of the way in when the sensation of being too full too fast overtook her and she tensed.

"Am I hurting you?" The concern in his voice made her more comfortable.

"Give me a second to get used to it," she gritted through her teeth. He pulled back a little.

"No, don't pull out…just…take it slow…I'll be okay," she said.

The sensation felt so good, and so overwhelming at the same time. There was no dick like new dick, and N'Jobu was packing the good stuff. She wiggled on him a bit, and he exhaled hard, still gazing at her face.

"You're so juicy… pussy gripping me tight…," he said. She watched a sheen of perspiration accumulate on his brow.

He gave her small shallow thrusts and she got used to the shocking fullness. She spread her legs wider, removing her hands from her thighs and resting them on the planes of his chest. He looked down at his dick going inside of her.

"You okay?" he asked, staring into her eyes again.

"Go deeper," she said.

His eyes reacted to her words and he shifted his hips and thrust in further, making her lips press together then open suddenly.

"Oh…shit…," she said wrapping her arms around his neck, gently scraping her nails on his nape.

They both could hear his dick going inside of her. He pulled out a few inches, then slid back in a little further than he was before. He was stretching her out and it felt incredible. She laid back to watch him. His eyes fixed on hers, but they took on an intimate unguarded look. She could tell he was turned on by her and probably wanted to do more but also wanted to make her comfortable with his restraint.

She couldn't take it anymore.

"Fuck me."

N'Jobu lifted up his knees throwing her legs over his arms and plunged his cock as deep as he could get. She tried to watch his dick going in and out of her, but at that point, she needed to be fucked well by him, and just clung to his neck. His hips slamming into her were unwavering as he stroked deep inside her tight walls. She could feel her juices spilling against his thighs thanks to all those orgasms he gave her earlier. She couldn't hold onto him any longer and just fell back on the bed. He shifted again and pressed himself on top of her, his mouth searing the side of her neck as he sucked on it while slamming his cock into her. She felt his mouth angle up her face until he was rasping into her ear, "I'm balls deep, girl…shit…you're taking all this dick…fuck."

She wrapped her legs around his waist and held tight to his back.

He was hers.

She laid back and pondered every sensation he gave her, his lips right at her ear as he whispered things to her and only her.

"Jobu, you feel so good in my pussy."

"This pussy is all mine, right?'

"Yes," she moaned, "you're in so deep baby…so deep…"

"I should've been fucking you a long time ago," he said, pulling out slowly. He swiveled his hips and slid back in even slower. She wanted him fast and hard and began bucking her hips.

"Harder, baby…," she said, wanting his balls to slap against her ass.

"Harder?"

"Yes…harder…and faster… I want you to cum."

He stopped moving and lifted up to stare down at her.

"Is that what you want?" He said pulling his dick all the way out and slamming it back into her fast. Her eyes snapped shut. She took a deep shaky breath and opened them again.

"Fuck me," she whimpered, her eyes watery, her legs becoming tired and heavy. He lifted her legs up and threw them over his shoulder and drove his cock in until he bottomed out.

"You asked for this…is this what you wanted?"

His thighs were so strong pressed into her and she was so deliriously happy that they could be loud, nasty, and alone.

"I want it, baby. Give it," she answered.

N'Jobu's face was like a man possessed. He fucked her with abandon and precise dickmanship. She thought of the time when Serah told her about the way he fucked, and that bitch wasn't lying at all. She just let him go, and he was hitting angles and spots in her pussy that she didn't know she had. She was going to be sore later, that was a given because his dick was relentless. And she was taking it. His bed rattled and she allowed her fingers to graze across his taut nipples. His deep penetration worked her back out, and she relished every pull on her muscles that he dragged out of her.

"Damn this pussy is so good," he said.

"It's all yours," she said, reaching up and twisting his gold chain.

"Say that again," he urged, his voice straining.

She pulled and twisted his chain, choking him a bit.

"This pussy is all yours. Take it. Take it all baby," she said, squeezing her thighs tight.

"Ah fuck…." His lips parted and he was exhaling through his mouth now. She wiggled her ass and internally, she squeezed her walls now that she was fully comfortable with his dick.

"I feel you," he said, closing his eyes above her. She still pulled on his chain.

"You want to cum?" she asked him, her own voice sounded like it was going to crack. She released his necklace.

"Fuck my dick," he said, spreading her legs out further and pressing them down into the mattress. He reached up and squeezed her tits, then reached down to grip her waist. He was losing it. She wiggled on him, matching his thrusts and tightening her pussy on his dick, the friction between them a molten wet mess. He looked down at where they were joined.

"Damn, you're creaming everywhere!"

Lifting her head, she looked down and saw that it was true.

"You made me do that," she said.

"That's my fault?"

"Yes."

He gave her the biggest smile and then his face contorted when she gyrated and clenched his dick at the same time.

"This… good…pussy…fuck...I'm cumming!"

They both looked down at his surging cock and watched as it pumped semen into the condom.

"That's it, baby, give it to me," she said, taking her fingers and widening her labia for him.

"You're so good, girl…I'm filling this shit up-"

His voice broke and then he was speaking Wakandan to her until his hips jerked.

He squeezed her left breast hard, then collapsed in a satisfied heap on top of her. She held him tight and kissed his forehead. When his breathing returned to normal she heard him say, "You better call whoever you need to. You aren't leaving here for the next two days."

Chapter 16 HERE.

###

[boyegcs]

I enjoyed the film but I’m not a hardcore Jurassic Park fan in general so I’d like to hear the side of someone who feels quite strongly about the films and why you didn’t like it! Feel free to rant :)

hi omg thank u so much for giving me an outlet. beware, under the cut is jurassic world spoilers + bitchy ranting (to anyone else who is curious. feel free to join in on the discourse. im curious af)

lemme start by saying that i may just be a pessimist in general, i didn’t sleep well last night, and the first jurassic park is one of my favorite movies of all time. i havent watched the 2nd and 3rd much in recent years, and wasn’t crazy about jurassic world. nothing can do justice to the first movie. it is flawless, beautiful, sentimental, smart, and the animatronics… are so….. good…..

whatever, onto the new movie.

i liked things about it. i promise i did. i liked the chemistry between bryce dallas howard and chris pratt more in this one than the first. maisie was a very good child actress! i love justice smith and even if the dialogue wasn’t great, he was pretty relatable (franklin). i also love the actress daniella pineda so even though she didn’t have much screentime, i like her. and i adored that dinosaur in the cell next to them that then plouwed through the rich ass folks trying to buy the fucking dinosaurs.

uhh… the script. 

the first 20 minutes were soooo rigid and i was like ‘am i just sleep deprived or is this shit or both.’ i was ALSO on team ian malcolm since the beginning: let the dinosaurs die. like, i’ve seen all the jurassic park movies. dinosaurs are vicious af. not “let them burn on the island,” but like, essentially? AND THEN THE FORCED EMOTION AKA THE BRACHIOSAURUS(? IDK DINOSAUR NAMES JFC) ON THE ISLAND. like, thanks for that image. PLUS THE ANIMAL BRUTALITY. LIKE, IDK WHY IT HIT ME SO HARD. THEY WERE VERY MEAN TO THE ANIMALS. which sounds dumb coming from the girl who was just like ‘let em die’ 10 mins ago but, y’know, i don’t wanna fucking SEE IT HAPPEN. 

AND FORCED NOSTALGIA. FUCK U MOVIE. 

the couple reviews i saw were like ‘paying homage, respecting the first movie!’ no. fuck that. this movie RIPPED OFF DIRECT SCENES AND SHOTS FROM THE FIRST MOVIE. claw grabbing through bars. squashed under a car. EVEN THE DUMBWAITER SCENE, COPYING THE INFAMOUS KITCHEN SCENE. i was hands down waiting for lightning to electrocute owen and maisie when they were scaling the house. jfc.

the doctor, or … paleo-vet? (yes who i like!), literally had to GET OUT OF THE CAR and look AT THE SAME DINOSAUR as sam neill and laura dern did in the first movie. btw, there were some cgi-heavy scenes in this movie. idk why im SO susceptible to cgi, but i hate it when i notice it. like the cgi goat towards the middle-end? ugly af. even that cute triceratops with her baby i was like ‘ok but its fake…’ i might just be a negative, judgmental person. 

also, the cheap? thrills? like the writers were like lets add oNE MORE THING to add to this ALREADY TENSION-FILLED SCENE. like the truck and the boat/ferry. when they had to get the blood from the t-rex and it semi woke up and THEN guards locked them in and its like… just give them a break. things like that. idk, it got old fast.

BUT YEAH, WHAT GOT OLD THE MOST FAST, WAS DEFINITELY THE ACTUAL RIP-OFF OF MY FAVORITE MOVIE IN THE WORLD.

it wasn’t paying homage. if it was only a couple things, maybe? but i kept gesturing at the screen… i kept sighing… i probably ruined it for the poor dude sitting next to me who was just enjoying his damn popcorn… it was such a long movie and then the whole THATS NOT UR GRANDDAUGHTER SHE IS /ALSO/ A CLONE. like. thanks for giving me one more thing to worry about. i so needed that on top of james cromwell dying and u really mean to tell me tim put his trust in this piece of shit capitalist dudebro? (or maybe it wasn’t tim from the original and just james cromwell / lockwood dude all along… idk, i kinda was like ?? in the beginning, cause they were talking abt someone in college so w/e).

i dont know i think im repeating myself in circles here? if u have any questions or disagree please lmk! like specific examples or anything. or if u wanna avoid this mess cause im just this angry ball of fury, go ahead too. but thank you so much for asking

ADDENDUM: i ended up really loving blue. i saw the relationship between owen and his dinos in the first movie, but damn, it really grew in this one. the clips from when they were babies, blue PURRING, crying, him holding her when the bullet was being taken out, running away at the very end, fucking saving em all… like. blue is the real mvp. 

i liked things about this movie, but i had zero patience for what i hated about it.

ADDENDUM 2 (I SUCK) but i was really annoyed when owen was fighting all those dudes when the... indo-rex or w/e was in a cage and... idk, he might’ve gotten a scratch, but hes what, a behavioral? scientist??? i mean unless he takes some form of self-defense in his free time, he shouldn’t be so lucky to not get a single blow to the face from however many dudes he fought. but maybe his reflexes got cat-like working with the raptors.... whatever

[your-jellyfish-senpai]

Rules: Answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

Tagged by: @pinkfluffyunicorns426​ thank you!

Tagging: ​ @inkspillsnotebook @minisophia @kimievii or anyone else who reads this (but only if you want to!)

What was your last…

1. Drink: Water, believe it or not

2. Phone call:  Pops!

3. Text message:  Complaining about the vending machine being broken and then being assaulted by an elevator door.

4. Song you listened to: This Fire - Franz Ferdinand (side note: this was their closing song last night and it was ethereal. They had everyone in the audience get super low to the ground and toned the music down and then got intense again and it was WILD)

5. Time you cried: Not to be That Bitch but like i p much cry every night it’s not inherently a bad thing it’s more of a regular release of tension/emotional so it’s chill

Have you ever…

6. Dated someone twice: I have had one relationship so that is actually impossible xD

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I have two responses. 1. If a kiss on the cheek in kindergarten counts, then yes. 2. The first time I did a stage kiss and it was not my fault it was awful because THE BOI. SWALLOWED MY FACE. THAT’S NOT HOW YOU DO IT.

8. Been cheated on: Nope

9. Lost someone special: Certainly

10. Been depressed: i have depression so ye

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: YEAH MORE THAN I’D LIKE TO HAVE ON MY RECORD (tbh it’s only.... two times actually, but there have been some close calls, too)

Fave colours

12. Black

13. Red

14. Blue

In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: Yes!! Especially online! :D

16. Fallen out of love: I don’t think so? o.o

17. Laughed until you cried: Hell yeah

18. Found out someone was talking about you: nah i don’t do enough to warrant rumors or anything. 

19. Met someone who changed you: mmmm maybe?

20. Found out who your friends are: Yes and also people who AREN’T.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: Yeah xD

General

22. How many your Facebook friends do you know irl: FB should be 100% people i know.

23. Do you have any pets: Two cats and a dog!! 

24. Do you want to change your name: Eh Idk. Sometimes I feel like my name doesnt suit me, but i dont have any other alternatives. ideally i’d like to be nameless but that doesn’t fly in society

25. What did you do for your last birthday: went to a winery, there was a reggae festival, drank a lot BUT NOT TOO MUCH and yeah

26. What time did you wake up today: 8am technically but also was woken up SO MANY TIMES. between 2am and 7am. so many.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: winding down from the concert, getting ready for bed, watching diners, drive-ins, and dives

28. What is something you can’t wait for: when i finally finish and polish an original piece of writing and get something published!!

29. What is your favorite animal: oh man, love foxes and deer, also birds??? especially crows

30. What are you listening to right now: a distant country song courtesy of the dudebros on the volleyball court outside my room

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: YES ONE OF OUR VISITING WRITERS WAS TOM MCALLISTER AND HE’S A BLESSING AND YOU SHOULD READ HIS BOOK(S). I’ve only read How To Be Safe, but it was SO GOOD.

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: Quite literally, my nerves. They’re getting wonky in my arm and also my neck is in a lot of pain today yay.

33. Most visited website: Unfortunately, this one.

34. Hair color: Uhhh..... i think my natural hair color is like... mousy/ash brown????? i have had dye in my hair since i was in eighth grade.... literally almost a decade lmfao

35. Long or short hair: i’ve got short hair!

36. Do you have a crush on someone: i dont... think so?... i’m so bad at emotions tho u gotta understand that i also get easily attached and dont understand myself Y I K E S

37. What do you like about yourself: i think i have a lot of kindness in me, even tho i’m also a total bitter bitch. i do try to make other people happy when i can

38. Want any piercings: i still want a septum piercing but i dont know if i’ll ever get it.

39. Blood type: uhhhh i think O+ but i’m not totally sure.

40. Nicknames: Other than Syd, Squid, and Squidney... I don’t think I have any. 

41. Relationship status: Single

42. Sign: Libra

43. Pronouns: she/her or they/them. i don’t care much.

44. Fave tv show: Brooklyn Nine-Nine or Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

45. Tattoos: I only have one :( it’s a paper airplane with a star trail. but i’m planning on getting “Do I dare/ Disturb the universe?” from “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” after graduation, and i also want to get a lyric from a Franz Ferdinand song

46. Right or left handed: Right

47. Ever had surgery: I’ve gotten stitches and also got my wisdom teeth taken out. 

48. Piercings: Four in my ears. Had six but the two grew closed.

49. Sport: i like watching baseball xP

50. Vacation: god i want to travel everywhere, but first priorities are japan and italy

51. Trainers: what does this mean

More General

52. Eating: like right now? nothing

53. Drinking: also nothing

54. I’m about watch: myself procrastinate more by doing nothing

55. Waiting for: my motivation to return from the war

56. Want: to do what i need to do and earn my relaxation (wow what a theme)

57. Get married: it’d be cool someday maybe but i’m not super hung up on it

58. Career: man fuck if i know. but eventually i would like to teach literature & creative writing at a college level

Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: both are good fuck this

60. Lips or eyes: both fuck im bad at this

61. Taller or shorter: shorter. taller people intimidate me.

62. Older or younger: older i guess???? idk what u want, question

63. Nice arms or stomach: literally do not care at all. legs tho? big fan of all legs.

64. Hookups or relationships: i dont think i have enough data to have an opinion

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: what are you asking me these are strange categories uh i guess hesitant???

Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: No

67. Drank hard liquor: Yeah

68. Turned someone down: Yeah actually but two of those times it was a joke anyway, two of the times the bois were very persistent and did... not really take no for an answer (i do not count these as relationships), and one... was more of a silence than an answer at all but DAMN am i glad i didn’t say anything that could have been construed positively at all, especially since he was drunk and sad and. nope im done thinking about this

69. Sex on first date: probably not but ??? idk??? circumstantial???

70. Broken someone’s heart: probably.

71. Had your heart broken: no i dont think so

72. Been arrested: nope

73. Cried when someone died: mmm see technically yes but it’s usually in reaction to something/someone else? it’s complicated

74. Fallen for a friend: Yep xD

Do you believe in

75. Yourself: trying to

76. Miracles: maybe?

77. Love at first sight: nah but i believe in infatuation at first sight xD speaking of which... so many cute girls in Philly........ that was not fair

78. Santa Claus: stopped believing in him when kevin accidentally ruined it by showing me a home movie xd

79. Angels: i love the concept of angels and use that sort of thing in fiction but like... there’s an answer for ya i guess

Misc

80. Eye color: Hazel! They’ve been looking greener lately which is neat.

81. Best friend’s name: I HAVE A LOT OF VERY GOOD FRIENDS ALL RIGHT THE THOUGHT OF NAMING THEM MAKES ME ANXIOUS SO IM NOT GONNA BUT KNOW THAT I LOVE MY FRIENDS VERY MUCH

82. Favorite movie: uhhhhhh black panther was really good, also princess bride, incredibles, and moulin rouge are on there???

83. Favorite actor: i dont have an answer i’m sorry

84. Favorite cartoon: oh wow uh... oh no it’s obvious, avatar: the last airbender lol

85. Favorite teacher’s name: Hodge was my favorite teacher in high school, but gotta say Holly is at the top of my list now. i’m gonna miss her when i graduate. 

[naruhearts]

I LOVED the episode, and for me Donna stole every scene (wanted so much more of her). Those destiel-ClaireKaia parallels were GLARING which is why I have a question: it was literally hours since the two first met, right? The care they had for each other seemed too fast, like hey woah slow down because the speed seemed unrealistic maybe?? Maybe love at first sight, idk

Hi nonnie!!

Same.

Pfft, they met inthe span of hilarious paradox of itall – Claire x Kaia “happened too fast” yet the GA was still able topick up on the potential romance and the conscious tension/attraction betweenthem.

Dean x Cas – the ORIGINALLOVE STORY THAT CLAIRE/KAIA’S STORYTELLING PREMISE WAS BASED ON – has beenhappening for NINE (almost TEN) YEARS yet the Hard-to-Please GA continue todeny its existence.

x (@amwritingmeta you life-ruiner)

(Let me throw in my tagsfrom this)(Also, anon, I’m in no way directing my frustration at you btw;that’s the thing—-such GLARING parallels^^there was S11 “I could go with you” and verbatim S7 “I’ll go with you”)

Can’t you BELIEVE Berenstweeted Claire x Kaia’s ship name DreamHunter? Can’t you BELIEVE Yadira andBerens corroborated the romantic reading of their relationship WHICH IS WHAT WEWERE SUPPOSED TO SEE BECAUSE CLAIRE/KAIA IS ROMANTIC AND NARRATIVELYCONSTRUCTED AS A PARALLEL TO DESTIEL?

It’s a farcical claim inthis day and age–thirteen years into the show–to say that we’re delusionalfor believing Dean/Cas are a deliberate ongoing romance narrative if you seethe Claire/Kaia. (I’ve been murmuring this all day lol the feminist in mefumes) Talk about double standards and heteronormative fetishizing dudebrohypocrisy!!!

Claire/Kaia’s story in well-done 13x10 is the Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed,Something Blue.

(Again, pasting stuff from my post herebecause I’m repeating myself :P)

The fact that thisparticular Wayward story unfolded in this PARTICULAR way—individual callbacks alongsideit as @tinkdw mentioned just blows my literature nerd mind.

We know that Claire isboth Dean’s characteristic mirror and foil. She was a superb expositionof his repressed!self—diving Heart-first into potentially dangerous situationsand thirsting for release, emotional security/secure attachment, FAMILY, wantingstability vs needing it (to truly be safe). Wanting someone to affirmher, understand her, and become her confidante.

Her use of theflamethrower in 13x10 mirrored Dean’s use of the grenade launcher in 12x22.

Both Dean and Clairesurrendered their control, breaking out of whatever eggshells hindered themfrom succeeding. A united thematic display of slaying your demons—Dean:(internal) walls, Claire: The Bad Place monsters (walls and fear). Who lentClaire the final push? Kaia, the Cas mirror—the dreamwalker (the Wanderer) whoseeks her respective purpose in life yet balances Claire’s persona/characterarc. THIS IS HOW LOVERS IN A STORY ARE WRITTEN. DESTIEL WAS WRITTEN AS SPN’SMAIN LOVERS FOR YEARS.

(Season 13? More likeSeason MULTILAYER 13. Multi-mirrors, multi-arcs, multiverses)

This was the Who You Arediscourse and the Destiel love story compartmentalized in a single episode onceagain ie 12x17 Sam/Eileen. Romantic potential that can (and would) be fleshedout atop the onscreen narrative.

(The dramatic irony!!While I watched, I kept predicting what non-platonic behaviour they’d engage inbefore Claire and Kaia themselves because we were given a pre-existingromance narrative structure for comparison: Destiel.

Then Kaia died in front ofClaire. She broke down. She yelled ‘Noo!’ as the rift closed.Claire’s ‘death’ = Kaia’s death = Grieving!Dean arc. And I was shooketh.)

Dabb & Co LOVE THEIRNARRATIVE TIE-INS—drawing parallels that call upon the past to establish thepresent storyline; YEP @margarittet​ –Dean/Cas = Mary/John = Sam/Eileen = Sam/Jess. Do the math.Piece together the overall narrative context of these pairings. WHERE do theyfit in the equation? What does this tell you about Claire/Kaia (if it isn’talready textually obvious)?

There’s also the overhaulof the Old generation and setting up the New generation acrosssocial/economic/political contexts. Dean and Sam’s Evil Dead horror vs WaywardSisters’ Overwatch-esque alternate universe portal horror.

New Beginnings.

The Dabb & Co way:building new stories via reusing (and textualizing) pre-existing ones*FLAILS*

So yeah, it basically islove at first sight (this excited meta writer watching the episode). I had ZERO EXPECTATIONS and I finished 13x10 WHEEZING in more than pleasant surprise.