#and also that I try and make a playlist of new good music every month

[messy-does-cosmology]

I honestly slacked in 2024, but I do sincerely believe my taste in music is incredible. Like I think they should let me run like 1 radio show a week and I think I would change lives.

[certified-bi]

Okay all my thoughts because some people have been saying that not supporting this change is not supporting artist and creators and as an artist fuck that.

1. Audiences owe you nothing. You have to convince them to engage with your creation not the other way around. This is something both the nonprofit theatre I work with recognizes and huge companies realize. It's just part of life. There are so many talented people in the world making amazing art, videos, music, writings, and on and on, and there's only so much time in the day. I'm not saying you shouldn't know your worth, just that being flippant about how little you care about those who can't pay isn't a good move. On that note...

2. PR is everything. If you haven't made a visible effort to push patreon, channel memberships or other avenues of making money, don't be suprised that your creation that was previously accessible to those without extra cash and to those who can't support foreign subscriptions due either to conversions or because it simply doesn't work, being made private isn't popular. There's a big leap from "We want to have more artistic control" to "We can't afford to make our content accessible to most of our audience," and people are smart enough to see this. You either have to make budget cuts or give into sponsors. This isn't unique to Watcher, it's part of literally every production from broadway, to Hollywood, to YouTube. Unless you can fund it yourself or get viewers to pay(which given how many are already strapped for cash...) that's life.

Not to mention they simply do not have enough followers to make the switch to a paid only site(dropping the first epsiode only on YouTube isn't going to draw people in, they're just going to say "oh why start if I'm not going to see the rest" and not watch) especially not one that is buggy and a security risk. Even if the switch had been supported its not going to end well. The only reason services like nebula and dropout work is because of the large amount of series and creators and the fact those creators still are partly on YouTube so new people are drawn in.

3. As for the price, 6 dollars a month is a not a good starting price for only their content and that's as someone who pays for nebula. I'd be paying the same amount for a fraction of the access to others work. Actually it'd be twice as much. And before someone says "it's only a coffee-" that's for you. Not everyone has your lifestyle. And with every other patreon and subscription service that says the same thing, it all adds up and I simply don't think 60 dollars for 48 videos a year on a subscription basis where you don't get to keep the videos if your situation changes, some of which don't appeal to every viewer is a good move. If you were able to buy physical copies of your favorite series they've made that'd be different, but that's not what this is.

4. I do believe that the employees deserve a livable wage. I also did not hire them. It is not on the viewers that they hired more people than they could afford to. They can charge that much if they want to to try and balance this out. They also shouldn't be suprised if not many can or will sign up. They also don't have to be based in L.A. L.A has ridiculous costs associated with it, and quite honestly it doesn't really add much to the content. I'm not saying they need to move to the middle of nowhere Kansas. Simply that living and basing your studio in a super expensive city and then being suprised money is tight is just weird.

5. Something that occurs to me is that they might get more views if their playlists were better set up. Only some series are given playlists. It'd be easier to find all of the series and binge them if they didn't just show off their more popular shows. Honestly the only draw the streaming site has to me is that the series are actually labeled well.

Do I think the weird ass energy towards Steven is necessary? No. He's not the only one at the company and they're all adults. I actually liked grocery run and homemade, and like to see them back. The parascoial attachment to Ryan and Shane is annoying in people's criticisms, but that doesn't make them completely wrong. If you're going to brand yourself as the anti capalist underdogs you can't get away with being dismissive of your poorer fans. The dissonance is what is causing this backlash and makes you look like hypocrites. I definitely think Steven is turning into the fall guy which is fucked up, his statement and the fact dish granted is one of those shows that make people uncomfortable about wealth flexs doesn't help matters.

[lostintransist]

The Boys Home | Part 4

AO3

Getting dressed for the day you talked yourself through every step of what would be required today.

“Boys are eating breakfast, once they are dressed we will hop in the van and drive the hour to Costco. We will get lunch there and stock up on everything we need. The Fisher children will arrive tomorrow. I can make it one more day. Need to remind them to leave the old house alone and the men who apparently have no social media at all.”

You mentally re-evaluated the complete lack of information you could find as you put your earrings in. The house had been bought via a trust with no names attached and the public records you could access had no information on full names. John had given only first names for him and each of his..his men? Why did that feel right? Kyle, Johnny, and Simon all shifted with or in reaction to him. The dynamic matched what you had seen from groups of children with a clear ring leader.

Sounds of your boys shouting tumbled up the stairs at you. With a sigh, you set about corralling the boys into clothes and into the car. Seth argued with you the entire hour-long drive that he was big enough to sit in the front seat now. He had been gunning for that position of privilege for months now. While he had reached the height and weight requirements you held firm that the law also stated no one under the age of twelve could sit in the front seat. You didn’t follow to many rules in life, but the safety of your boys? That always came paramount.

Several hundred dollars and a gas tank filled later every one of the kids fell asleep as you hummed along to your playlist that you could listen with them in the car. You were a playlist fiend, and your friends wondered how you managed to find what you were looking for each time you opened your music app. None of them quite understood you had a system and the intricate naming system of your playlists (that were sorted alphabetically so you could find them, mind you) helped you find exactly what you needed.

When you finally pull into your driveway one of the new neighbors is running down your street. Johnny, if you remember right. Waving to him as you stepped from the van you headed for the rear door. Crunching gravel under running shoes alerted you to the fact Johnny had paused his run to come and talk to you. Turning your head you smiled at him, the man didn’t even look winded.

“Nice run?” You pull out your first box packed with food items.

“Yeah, good area for it. The paths that spiral out from the house make me want to pick up trail running.” Johnny pulls the box from your hands and starts up the path to your front door.

With a shrug, entirely too used to men taking things from you in their efforts to affirm their masculinity, you grab a second box and follow the man wearing shorts that should be illegal for how good they make his thighs look. Setting the box down you pull out your keys and unlock the front door. Johnny waits until you have picked your box back up and leads the way into the house before he joins you.

Settling your groceries on the table beside the kitchen you gesture for Johnny to do the same. He does, his eyes scanning the photo-covered wall and the bright colors scattered through the space.

“They seem happy, your boys,” he looks at you with searching eyes.

“I would like to think they are, they are good kids even when they drive me batty.” Not terribly keen on continuing a conversation that came up in every biddies gossip circle with a new neighbor you head back to the car for the rest of the groceries.

Johnny follows and helps twice more with trips to move the half of the warehouse you had brought home with you. With a wave he starts off running again, you bet you would see him circle back soon enough. There was another connection to their road but it was over two miles before he would be able to cut over to it.

You carried Sam and Darren in and settled them on your bed. It seemed safer than hurting your back trying to deposit them on the bottom bunks of their respective beds. Seth and Reggie were much to big for you to carry anymore and you woke them as gently as you could, coaxing them along into the house. Summer had barely started but already it would be to hot to leave them to sleep in the car, even with the doors and windows open. They both whined at you for the rest of the afternoon until you finally shoved some controllers at them and let them play video games so you could put everything away and get started on dinner.

Bedtime came as a blessed relief and saw you collapsed onto the couch in the dark. When you woke the crick in your neck reminded you that grandpa naps would wreck you. Trudging up to bed your mind swirled with the tasks you would need to accomplish. Tomorrow, early, your rented dumpster would arrive and you could strip the rooms that needed insulating. Your hope was to finish ripping the walls out in two days and be able to schedule the sheet rock guys to come in next week.

🍎🍏🍎🍏🍎🍏🍎🍏🍎🍏🍎🍏🍎🍏🍎🍏🍎🍏🍎🍏🍎🍏

The guys were at the house by nine am, fed and ready to put in a full day of work. Another day or so and John thought that they would have removed everything that had rotted out, been lived in by animals, or they simply did not wish to keep. Gaz queued up the playlist, the speaker set up in the entranceway to drift music through every corner of the house.

Several hours drifted by with the four of them tromping through the doors depositing chunks of plaster or dead rodents in the massive bin. When they broke for lunch Gaz got a notification on his phone. The guys had settled on the floor of the formal sitting room, their butt prints dotting the floor making John and Johnny laugh.

Gaz got a notification on his phone, the quiet ping saw him digging it out of his pocket. When he paused sandwich halfway to his mouth Simon glanced at him.

“How copy?”

“Our new neighbor is listening to some crazy stuff. Want me to link it so we can listen along?”

John pushed off the floor, knees popping as he stood fully. He brushed his hands along his butt to dislodge the dust; it didn’t help.

“I don’t care what you do as long as you keep working. I would rather not pay for the rental of the bin another day if we can help it.” John didn’t understand or care much about the fascination his men had started with you. He did wonder if this is how they acted off base and off jobs but decided as the stairs creaked below him that he didn’t actually want to know.

They had about an hour of variety, music swinging from Selena to Mumford and Sons until one deeply suggestive song began to repeat. And repeat. And repeat. And repeat.

John fed up with the creaking bed sounds drifting past him and aggravating his tinnitus, powered down the speaker. When no clomping steps or shouting voices alerted him to their joint displeasure John stepped out onto the porch. With no sign of his men, he let out a weary sigh.

“Fucking muppets are bothering the damn neighbor. Now I have to go save her from three men who want to know who she’s sleeping with at two in the afternoon.” With a shake of his head, John took off at a low jog to trail his men to your house and drag them back if need be.

The song in question:

@harperstyles not my best work but I have to put the foundation down for the story to stand on.

The Boys Home Masterlist | Masterlist

[majorbaby]

it takes a conscious effort to break your patterns of consumption and unlearn the notion beauty, interiority, diverse ways of existence aren't exclusive to whiteness or maleness. part of that isn't your fault. certain music is played on the radio, certain shows survive cancellation no matter what, certain people seem to be able to commit the worst possible acts against other human beings and are excused on account of their creative genius. others are selectively punished, with good reason sure, but still, selectively.

now more than ever it's easier to immerse yourself in art made by people outside of the mainstream. reading lists, free resources, playlists... all this stuff is more accessible than ever, but you've got to make an effort to give it a try. it's black history month, the recs are pouring in, go have a look. or take a chance on something absolutely no one has recommended anywhere and if you find something you like, rec it to someone else because the likelihood is they haven't heard of it.

tracy chapman's "fast car" is one of eleven songs that appears on her self-titled debut album. can you name the second hit single from it? if you're american and you fell anywhere left of center as of the 2016 election, it should be on the tip of your tongue if you were engaged in your country's politics at the time, regardless of your level of actual investment in the system. if not, the next time you're doing a task you need both hands with, washing the dishes, having dinner, doing your makeup, put that album on.

there's a post with over 100K notes on here that i see all the time of bruce springsteen and clarence clemons kissing. there's a part of that that is immediately meaningful to many if you're lgbtq, and a part that is harder for non-black lgbtq people to feel the weight of. but it is worth trying to do and was part of the reason why they kissed so often in the first place. clarence clemons was from norfolk, virginia. he released multiple albums outside of his work with the e street band. they may not be for you, but give them a try.

give enough music, or movies, or books that aren't a part of the approved canon a try, and there's no way you won't find something you don't feel as passionate about as you do about springsteen, siken, the beatles, what have you.

james baldwin was a prolific artist. see if you can't find something of his you like more than giovanni's room.

immerse yourself in ringo sheena, who mitski cites as one of her influences.

if you have difficulty paying attention to music you don't recognize, (i get it) make a playlist that alternates tracks you know and love with brand new tracks. start small. 5 faves of all time, 5 you're going to try out. you won't like everything, but you might find yourself looking forward to 6 songs instead of 5 eventually.

for movies, pick an actor whose performance you loved in something and explore their work. last year i picked whoopi goldberg, also a prolific artist, with a vast body of work that's pretty accessible as a result of her constant, intentional effort.

if you're an artist yourself, you can only stand to improve by getting to know your fellow artists better. so expand your notion of what art is. you can do it for free in lots of cases, and you're spending that time listening to music or reading or watching movies or series anyway, what have you got to lose?

anti-racism sometimes means engaging in real-world narratives of pain endured by brown and black people. that pain permeates much of our art, but we're just as three-dimensional as everybody else, and every aspect of our experiences come through in our work. you know that already, because what else is happening when you indulge in various genres. for everything you love or enjoy, there's a brown or black person who's doing something along those lines, in many cases, those genres wouldn't exist in their current form without the influence of our communities, some more than others, depending on where you're from. you can actually keep one foot inside your comfort zone and dip your toe into something else. that choice is both a joy and a luxury.

[glassartpeasants]

Run Rabbit Run .10

Yandere!Eustass Kid x F!Reader

Warnings: Death, blood mentions, physical abuse, violence, implied non-con, slight non-con, not edited for shit cause it took too long to type in general

A/N: This part is all in the eyes of Kidd so enjoy. I'm so happy for this shit to be finally published cause it took me too fucking long to do. Also working on new writing styles cause i need to be a perfectionist

music playlist

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 pt.6 pt.7 pt.8 pt.9 pt.10 pt.11

~~~

“Look at them run! This is gonna be a fun island to ransack.”

“We should find the mayor and ask him where he keeps the town's treasury.”

“Good thinking, Killer.”

Even with the conversation so short, it spoke volumes as the Victoria Punk docks on the island. The beautiful blue skies shone down on the new and upcoming worst-generation supernova. With only a few months under his belt, his name was still feared throughout the south blue. His bounty getting higher and higher with every new poster.

He has yet to lose to any marine or pirate ship. Every battle he wins only makes him all the more feared, and his crew is just as terrifying as himself. Being known for his bloodthirsty ways, people would usually give him their prized possessions just to make sure they stayed clear of his wraith. But even then, sometimes, it wasn’t enough.

“This island is smaller than I thought, but it’s still mostly populated. More people, more treasure.”

“I haven’t seen any marines since we’ve docked, no boats or anything. Do you think this island isn’t under the eye of the world government?”

“Don’t matter to me. If marines try to stop me, I’ll just crush them.” The sinister chuckle that left the man’s lips made even the strongest marine tremble. Now, with a rushing set of footsteps coming towards him, Kidd continues to smirk.

A man about his own age was running full speed at him. A look of rage crossed his features as he clutched a knife tightly in his hands. Compared to himself, the man was nothing more than a twig. No muscle or anything to back him up with the fight he was looking for.

“Oh, this outta be fun.”

“Damn pirates! Leave our island alone!” The man lifts his arm to strike the notorious captain, only to be stopped by a suffocating grip. Without a second thought, Kidd’s hand gripped the scrawny man’s neck as he lifted him up. The man drops the knife to try and pry off the hand, squeezing his throat.

“How pathetic! A string bean like you thinks he can tell me what to do?” Kidd squeezes the man's throat harder and lifts him so they're eye to eye.

“News flash, I don’t like when people tell me what to do. I’ll show you what happens to people who do.” Clawing at Kidd’s hand, the man begins to see black in his vision as he starts to gasp.

“Please let my son go! He’s the only family I have!” An old man shows up hobbling fast towards Kidd and his crew. A cane in his left hand as he struggles to stay up. 

“I don’t feel like it. Little fucker thinks he can try to attack me. Yet he didn’t even land a hit like the pathetic little thing he is.” Kidd laughs at the old man’s worried expression.

“I’ll do anything! Just please let my son go!” The old man gets on his hands and knees, begging the ruthless pirate for mercy. 

“Bring me your mayor, and I’ll think about it.”

“I am the mayor! I promise, Captain Kidd, as I have the key to City Hall and everything!” The old man pulls out a key from his pants and lifts it towards Kidd.

“Well, would you look at that? How convenient. I didn’t even have to waste time searching.” Using his devil fruit powers, Kidd gravitates the key to his open hand. Looking at the key in his hand, he looks to his friend.

“What ya think, Killer? Should I let the small fry go?”

“Might as well. We have the mayor right here.”

“Looks like it’s your lucky day. Now scram before I change my mind.” The man is dropped with a thud. Holding his throat, he coughs harshly, with tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. Air finally returns to his lungs.

“Run home, son. Everything will be fine! Just go home.”

“But father-”

“Go home!” Despite his pleas, the scrawny man follows his father's orders. His throat bruised as he struggles to walk. His head spinning as the lack of oxygen has taken its toll. A crippling fear plagues the son as he walks home with unstable legs. The safety of his father was all he could think about.

“Now that that little nuisance is out of the way, we can finally get what we came here for.” Turning his attention to the old man, Kidd looks down at him.

“You either give us all the treasure this town has in its treasury, or I go back and break your son's scrawny little neck.” The mayor looks in horror at the man before him.

“I can’t! We’ve been saving it to build a marine base on the island! It’s taken us years to save up that money!” Kidd only laughs in the old man’s face.

“Too bad, old man! Now, you either give us all the treasure this shit town has to offer, or you’ll see its ashes fall from the sky!”

“But! The people need that for-” Not letting the old man finish, Kidd kicked him backwards. His fragile body hits the ground and is knocked out cold.

“Wrong answer, old fool! Burn it down and take everything! Leave no stone unturned!” Kidd watched his crew scatter before starting to break into businesses, houses, and other structures. Glass shattering, and the newfound screams sounded like music to his ears.

“Heat!” Calling out to his crew, he watches the bluenette approach him.

“Yeah Captain?”

“I want you to go kill that brat while burning down buildings.”

“Sounds good.”

Turning around laughing, Kidd’s amber eyes catch the glance of a woman hiding behind a building. Her face full of fear as she shook in her place.  From where she stood, Kidd could see the way the light shone down on her. It gave her an almost angelic glow. For some reason, it ignited something inside him. Something that told him to ruin her. To rip off that halo and wings while he fucked her down to the second circle of hell. The image made him laugh as he began to move in her direction. Himmoving in the woman’s direction caused her to finally flee.

“Cat and mouse, aye?” Kidd snickers as he beckons the woman back; any metal she was wearing would drag her right back to him. He watches her stop in her tracks before being pulled back to him at full speed. Her shrieks of terror cause him to lick his lips.

The woman’s back collided with Kidd’s chest as he grabbed her wirst in an iron grip.

“Where do you think you're going?” The woman looked up at him, and he smiled at her. He watched her tremble in place.

“Y-Your Eustass Kidd…”

“Damn right. What? You afraid?” The way she uttered his name made the fire inside him only burn brighter. A delicate little thing like her screaming out his name as he left bruises on her skin had his mind running with wild thoughts.

“Please! Just let me go! I’ll give you all the money I have. Just please let me go!” He watched in amusement as the woman tried to twist and turn out of his grip. The hope dying in her eyes felt like an addictive drug. While taking in the woman's fear, he noticed a ring adorning her finger and a metal circle on your left wrist.

“Now, why would I let something I caught fair and square go?” Finally pulling her left arm closer to his view, he finds that the circle of metal adorning her wrist was, in fact, supposed to be a bracelet. A very shitty stainless steel bracelet that he could have easily made with his eyes closed. 

“Your shitty stainless steel bracelet betrayed you, princess.” The nickname fell off his tongue so smoothly that it was almost like honey. He could feel his heart quicken at the little nickname that he decided there and then.

“My fiance worked hard to make it for me!”

“Don’t make me laugh! This is the shittest piece of jewelry I’ve ever seen!” How horribly it was made felt like an insult to him. He swore a baby could make one better. Using his power, Kidd manages to contort the ugly bracelet off the woman's wrist. He brought it closer to his face just to look at it once more, and that’s when he saw the flaw in the metal. He sees the woman reach for it but simply lifts it up out of her reach to inspect it more.

“Give it back!”

“It’s ain’t even pure stainless steel. Pathetic. Not even detailed, just a circle of metal." Using his devil fruit, he crushes the bracelet into the form of a ball. Small enough to be a bullet.

“Repel.” A laugh escapes him as he watches the small ball shoot into a store window. It shatters the entire thing and breaks something inside. Now, turning back to the woman, he smirks.

“Now, c’mon. You’re coming with me.” The woman's nails dig into Kidd’s hand. Her desperate attempt at freedom only made his lust for her grow.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be, princess. I’m not a very patient person.” The woman's mouth opens to say something, but a loud voice pulls his attention away.

“(Y/N)! Get your hands off of her, you filithy pirate!” So that was your name? It felt fitting for a little thing like yourself. A lovely little princess like you with such an angelic name.

Looking at the person in front of him, he sees a ring adorning their left hand. It added up to the fact that this must be your fiance. AN annoyed look plastered on Kidd’s face as he realized that what should have been a quick thing was now actually gonna be a pain in his ass. Looking the fiance up and down, Kidd knew that they stood no chance against him. A single punch could take them down, no doubt.

“Is this your pathetic fiance? Ugh, I don’t have time to deal with you. I’ve got to take this treasure I found back to the ship.”

“(Y/N)’s not going anywhere with you! Let her go pirate!” Rage filled Kidd as another small fry thinks they can tell him what to do.

“Run (....)! He’s going to kill you!” Kidd let go of your wrist for a second, only to wrap his arm around your torso. He pulled you close to his chest as he trapped your arms to your sides with his strong grip. While he’d love to turn your pathetic fiance into a bloody puddle, he just couldn’t wait to bring you back to the Victoria Punk for safekeeping.

“Killer!” Not even seconds pass before his best friend shows up next to him.

“Yeah, Kidd?”

“I need you to kill them. Little shit thinks they can tell me what I can and can’t do.” He watches his buddy look down at the horrified woman in his arms.

“Who’s she?”

“My new plaything, cutie, ain’t she?” Kidd laughs as he holds onto you tighter. Your smell was intoxicating with how close you were to him.

“No! Leave them alone!”

“Alright, let’s go.” Kidd turns around just in time so you don’t see Killer murdering your fiance. But the screams could still be heard. He looks down and sees tears slipping down your cheeks as you weep in his grasp. The pathetic fiance felt like a worthless thing to cry about, in his personal opinion. But seeing your tears had his pants growing tighter.

“What a pretty sight, don’t you think?” The look of horror on your face as you watched your town burn to the ground made Kidd feel like we were on cloud nine. He just knew that the little angel he plucked from gods hand would surely be a fuck to experience. 

~~~

“Oi Kidd.”

“What is it Killer?” Watching his friend approach him, Kidd simply took a hard drink of the alcohol in his hand. His eyes scanned the bar as he watched multiple women look at him with less-than-holy intentions.

“Do you want me to go unlock that chick on the ship now? She’s been on the ship since we took her from that island a week ago? Plus, you're at the bar getting plastered and beckoning other women over.” 

“Nah. Keep her there a little longer. Plus, where would she go? It’s not like she has a home to go back to. I could honestly keep her as long as I want!” Laughing, Kidd took another swing of his drink. Having a personal fleshlight aboard the ship at all times was an opportunity only a fool would pass up.

“If you say so.”

“Come get a drink, Killer! Unwind and enjoy the lack of Marines!” Chugging down the alcohol, Kidd slammed down the empty glass on the table. His eye scanned the room, and despite the multiple women that occupied the bar, none gave him that rush that you did when he first saw you. While there were women who looked at him with lust, the fear that was in your eyes made more of an impact on his sexual desires.

Sure, he’s taken women to the Victoria Punk, but they're always gone before sunrise. No woman he’s brought to bed has ever spent a full day on the ship. Until you came along. You’ve spent a full week under the deck of the Victoria with only him and Killer knowing. And it’ll stay that way if he could help it. Having a secret little place to relieve his stress and get his fill sounded perfect for when he was stuck on the seas without a bar to be seen.

A little wingless angel stuck in the dark.

~~~

Stumbling along the hallways, Kidd can’t help but chuckle as he makes his way to your room. He’s been drinking till the early before a sudden lust flooded his body. The image of you laying beneath him was too stong to ignore. He wanted to hear your cries and moans. Wanted to feel your nails dig into his skin and cause him too bleed. 

When he opened the door that kept you locked away, he saw you sleeping peacefully. Your face content as you lay on the tattered blankets that used to hold prisioners. The light giving him just enough to walk towards a crate to light up a lantern. Once he closed and locked the door again, the lantern was now the only sorce of light. 

He stumbled over to where your head lay before sitting down. The vibrations caused you to stir, yet you refused to awaken fully. It caused a scowl to appear on Kidd’s painted lips before he tugged on a strand of your hair. The shock of your hair being tugged made your hand go to soothe the throb that followed suit.

Rubbing your eyes, you look up.”Kidd? W-Why are you here? It’s late.” Your confusion was clear in your voice, but Kidd paid no mind.

“Mmm…gonna fuck ya. Wanna hear my princess cry out my name.” Slurring his speech, Kidd laughs as he grabs your wrist and drags you up to him. The chain attached to your ankle rattled as he had you face to face.

The fear that still swirled in your eyes got him drunker than any alcohol could ever do. Your soft skin against his rough, calloused hands felt as if he were touching something sacred.

Grabbing your chin, he pulls you in for a kiss. He could feel you try to pull away, but you were no match for his strength, and he loved that. How weak you were compared to him had his already hard cock throbbing. You were the defenseless little princess who relied on him for everything.

The kiss only got deeper as he spurred himself on in his head. He pushed his tongue past your lips and groaned when he felt your own. Your taste was sweet as he explored your mouth. No matter how many times he’s kissed you, it always felt just as electric as it did the day he first kissed you. Your lips are so soft as they smudged his lipstick with how harshly he was kissing you.

Wrapping his hands around your wrists, he slammed you down on the ground before climbing on top of your body. His lips were still locked with yours as your scent overwhelmed him. It sent a fire hot sensation in his abdomen as he started to press closer to you.

Bringing both wrists above his head, he holds them both with one hand. With his other hand now free, he runs his fingertips underneath your shirt. He feels you shiver against his touch, and it causes one to go down his own spine.

Pulling his lips away from yours, a thick strand of saliva connected his mouth to yours. Hearing you gasp and pant for breath makes him slightly grip your wrists harder as he stares down at you. Your lips were swollen from his harsh kiss and sporting the lipstick that once adorned his own lips.

“K-Kidd, you're drunk. Perhaps you should just sleep. You don’t want a hangover, do you?” The nervousness and pleas that slipped past your lips went unheard by him. All he could see was his princess lying under him. Even though you tried to squirm and wiggle away, all Kidd felt was you rubbing against him. 

“Fuck.” Kidd whispers under his breath as he begins to rub his clothed cock against you. His face is right above yours as he feels your breath fanning against his face. Through his lidded eyes, Kidd can see your eyes are closed, and you're biting your bottom lip.

Moving both your wrists to one hand, Kidd uses his free one to grab your chin. “Fucking look at me. I want you to look at me while I fuck you.” Kidd can feel his heart double in speed when he’s met with your eyes staring at him intensely yet glassy.

Kidd groans out before licking his lips. Letting go of your chin, Kidd reaches down to unbuckle his pants. His eyes still strained on you and he can’t help but notice all the bites and bruises he’s adorned on your body since you’ve been here. It only makes Kidd’s need for you higher.

“What if we do this tomorrow?” Your words break through Kidd’s lust-clouded mind. ”You won’t even remember this since you're drunk, right? We can do it tomorrow!” Beads of sweat dropped from your forehead as you talked to Kidd. Obviously hoping that he might fall for the bait.

Kidd’s eyes stare at you before letting out a yawn. He didn’t say anything for a few seconds before getting up and moving away from your body. Only to grab it seconds later and drag you to lay on the tattered blankets. He fell on top of you, making you let out an ‘oof’.

The warmth your body excluded made made Kidd’s eyes grow heavy as he let out another yawn. Placing his head onto of your breasts, he allowed his drunken self just an hour or two to sleep before going back into his own quarters. No harm in a measly two hours. 

~~~

The sky filled with smoke as Kidd angrily desetroyed anything he deemed mocked him. Living or not, his anger was his own fault as ahe had no one to blame but himself. Ever since that drunken night he slept by your side, he’s never been able to sleep normally again.

Before he used to sleep all throughout the night but now. He’d wake up every two hours reaching out for someoen that wasn’t there. He’s never slept with someone all night. Or at all. But now that he’s gotten a taste of what it felt like to sleep next to someone, it wans’t something his body could sleep without. And it pissed him off.

Sure, he loved fucking you whenever he wanted, but now, it’s like he can’t go even an hour without thinking about you. Working in his workshop became a pain in the ass as he could be working on his crew’s weapons only to see your eyes staring at him in his imagination. How blown over they are when he fucks you or how you looked at him when he even enters a room.

He couldn’t even sleep with other women anymore cause his mind kept going to you! All there was was you. It pissed him off to the point he didn’t bother seeking you out of your company for a week and counting. A small part of him begged to go below deck to see the angel he stole from god. Yet the other him spoke curses on how you’ve affected him. It felt as if his head was splitting from the battle going on inside him.

“You're scowling more than usual. What’s wrong?” His friend's voice broke through his thoughts as he stood next to him. 

Running a hand through his hair, Kidd hisses. “It’s not something you can help with, so buzz off.”

“Is it about that girl below deck?”

“(Y/N).”

“Yeah her?”

“No.”

“Liar.” Snapping his head towards the masked man, Kidd glared at him. 

“Something obviously happened, so stop trying to act like nothing did.” Killer crossed his arms as he looked at his stubborn friend.

“She’s invading my mind like a damn disease! Can’t even go an hour without her popping up in my mind! Not to mention, I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in a month!”

“Can’t even fuck another whore without imagining it’s her! It’s pissing me off! Is this some sort of devil fruit?!” A snort comes from behind Killer’s mask, making Kidd madder.

“Jesus christ, your so stupid.”

“I’m not fucking stupid! If you know what's wrong with me, then spit it out!”

“It’s called falling in love, you idiot.”

Kidd’s eyes widened as he felt his heart stop. “No shot! That’s the biggest load of shit I’ve ever heard! I’m not falling in love.”

“Oh really? Well then, let her go, it’s been six months-”

“-No.”

“You're not in love with her, but you refuse to let her go?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, Kidd. Whatever you say.”

~~~

Bursting open the door, Kidd stomps through his room. His rage fills the small space as his heart beats harshly. Once again, a marine ship ruined his supply trip to an island. While normally he wouldn’t care and go on and fight, Killer advised against it. Kidd had a good amount of sake a few hours earlier and wouldn’t be on his A game if they took charge.

While Killer was right, Kidd was still upset that he wouldn’t be able to get supplies for his crew for another day till they reached the next island.  His crew had to go hungry for a day simply because of some annoying marines.

“God fucking damnit! Those fucking marines keep getting in my way!” Kidd’s eyes scan the room as he tries to find something to throw. When his eyes landed on a metal butterfly he made for you, he grabbed it off the dresser in a quick movement.

“Fuck!” Throwing it as hard as he could, he aimed for the bedroom door, which was already covered in marks from the other times he'd thrown knives at the door. The sound of a sucked-in breath makes him snap his head in your direction.

“What the fuck are you staring at?!” He watches you scoot away from him, and it only fuels his drunken rage. Who did you think you were to run away from him? To look at him with that face? Do you think it's funny when shit doesn't go his way?

His anger only heightened even more as he wrapped his hand around your foot. Digging his nails into your skin as he pulled you from him.

As soon as you were close enough to him, he grabbed your neck and lifted you into the air. “I said, what the fuck are you staring at?!” He watched you try to pry off his fingers off your neck. The small sting your nails brought only served to piss him off more.

“You're happy, aren’t you?! Do you think the Marines are going to catch me, and you’ll be free?! Is that it?!”

“I-I can’t breathe…Kidd please…” He watched as tears streamed down your face and onto his hand. The tear felt like a needle poking into his heart.

“Stupid bitch!” Stumbling over his own feet, Kidd chucks you against the wall. He watched you hit the wall and onto the floor with a loud ‘thud’ before what sounded like a crack whispered in his ears. He examines your body, not moving, and it causes a hard scowl on his face.

“Get up, damnit! I barely threw you!” Growling, Kidd wobbles over to your body before falling to his knees. His sight is blurry as his head seems to pound. When he slid his fingers through your hair, his brain failed to register the wet substance that coated his hand. He pulls on your hair so he can look you in the eyes.

“Fucking pathetic! Why do I even keep you around when you're so fucking useless?!” Your silence had Kidd’s drunken self slightly coherent.

“Hey! I’m talking to you! Don’t ignore me!” He grabs your face and, through his drunken haze, starts to see a red liquid drip down your face. A red handprint of blood was left on your cheek when he slightly moved his hand.

Your eyes fluttering shut made him sober up as the blood running down your face finally set in.

“Oi! Keep your eyes open!” Moving his hand in front of your face back and forth, his heart rate peaks when he finally watches your eyes fully close. Pulling your body close to his own, he grabs your shoulders and shakes you harder. Worry sets in as you don’t respond.

Picking you up to carry you, he hastly stumbles out of his room and makes a dash to the infirmary. The sound of his footsteps echoed through out the halls. His mouth goes dry as your lack of movement sobers him up to accurately find the room.

To his luck, Killer was already in the infirmary, counting on what they needed to restock.

“Killer, I fucked up.”

~~~

His eyes stared at the carved door as he laid his head on your chest. Your heartbeat pounding in his ears as he tried to ignore the small blood splatter on the floor that he forgot to clean up after the incident.

Your fingers running through his hair did little to calm the thoughts in his head. Even though he laid against you, he felt it wasn’t close enough. Close seemed to not be close enough.

Lifting his body up, he laid down next to you before he pulled you to his chest, you hair slightly tickling his skin. He wrapped his arms around you all the way to the point you wouldn’t be able to leave. Moving his legs, he tangled his limbs with yours. Only then did he feel you were close enough. Your scent a silent lullaby as he raced with thoughts. What if’s ran rampant.

‘What if I just took a nap instead?’

‘What if you got hurt even worse then i thought?’

‘What if you didn’t wake up?’

The thought of you no longer sharing his bed caused a panic to settle in Kidd’s stomach. Your warmth had become the only thing that allowed him to sleep peacefully. Hearing you breathe managed to be the only stress reliever that worked.

It was obvious to him now, that no matter what he might say, he couldn’t live without you.

~~~

The sound of the waves crashing against the beach felt like laughter as Kidd watched you sailing away on a ship he’d never seen before. His scream out to you echoed across the water only to come back to him, mocking him for being too late. Now, he got to watch the only thing that made him calm leave him.

The sand below him showed muddy footprints before being washed away by the ocean. Thunder and harsh rain poured down on Kidd, his hair sticking to his face as the rain pelted down his hair. Whether it was rain or tears that slid down his cheeks was anyone's guess. It felt as if time stopped while he tried to piece together what now?

His goal to find the one piece and become King of the Pirates still ran strong through his veins, but now it felt different. Not even days before this, he began to dream of when he’d finally be called King of the Pirates, when you’d be clinging to his arm and congratulating him, kissing him, and telling him you loved him. But now, that’s what it’d only be—a dream.

~~~

It’s been months since Kidd watched you sail away. Each night was plagued with that image of you sailing farther and farther away from him, every time only seconds late. Not a night went by where he didn’t wake up in a cold sweat. He’d reach out for you and be hit with the painful reminder that it was real—that you were gone.

Yet no matter where he went, it always felt like he saw you out of the corner of his eye. Or how sometimes he’d hear your voice in his ear. But when he turned to check it out, there was nothing. It felt as if he was going insane without you. And while there was intense longing, there was rage.

How dare you leave him? Don’t you know how much you meant to him? Hasn’t he shown he’s learned his lesson? He’s told you he loved you and you still left him. You have no one other then him, he made sure of it. Yet you still left.

Killer tried to tell him to get over you, that there were plenty of other fish in the sea, but he knew what he meant. He shouldn’t be shocked. You weren't even supposed to be with him for as long as you were. It was only a matter of time before the ‘relationship’ Kidd built with you would burn before his eyes. Even if he refused Killer’s words, any sane person would have agreed.

But now here he was, missing you with fury boiling inside him as he stared out over the crowd in the auction house. Privileged entitled assholes as far as the eye can see. All waiting for the show to begin.

~~~

Emotions pumped through his veins as he stared at himself in the mirror. A small splatter of blood on his cheek as all he could think about was you. How happy he was that you were back where you belonged. That after months of sleeplessness not knowing where you were, you were finally back in his arms. Whether you liked it or not wasn't something he cared to hear. He had you first. Those damn Straw Hats took you away, but now, you were back.

But you came back with a price.

Whatever happened in those months you were away changed you. All you did was fight and yell, scream and punch. Instead of the quiet angel he stole, a venomous fallen angel stood before him. But despite missing his fearful princess, the fight you put up managed to also have his blood pumping hotter. Watching you try to fight him only to lose gave him a high that only your fear could compare to.

Seeing your eyes widen in fear when he threatened to cut off your legs made a shiver of pleasure shoot up his spine. Even after you spit venom, he could not help but want you even more. Having you so close to him again made his body go haywire. Hearing you scream out in pain reminded him of when you screamed out his name in such a different, lustful tone. Watching tears stream down your face when he threw punch after punch had him resisting the urge to fuck you bloody and bruised. 

While the image was tempting, he had things to do, and he couldn’t let you think you got away with it. So he’d just send Killer down to patch you up after you’d been drenched in your own blood for a while. Maybe it’ll give you some time to contemplate. But if not, that’s okay.

He kinda liked that taste of your blood.

~~~

His heart couldn’t help but leap when he felt your lips running smoothly against his own, your warm skin glowing underneath his fingertips as you cupped his face. A calm washed over him at the small gesture. He pulled you closer and kissed you deeper, never wanting to let you go. But when he pulled away for a breath, he saw the stains of his lipstick on your face, the sight making him smile.

Kidd couldn’t help but feel the shiver that ran down his spine when he felt your breath against his neck. The rigid, cold metal of the collar on your neck had him silently sick in a breath.

“If you're gonna make me a new collar, can it be one I can sleep in?” When you mumbled those words into his skin, flashbacks from that fateful day rushed back to him. How you got out of your collar, so he obviously had to make a bigger and better one. And now you're trying to get a different one?

“Do you know why you're in that collar?” He looked down and was met with your pleading eyes.

“I ran away.” Kidd grits his teeth and digs his fingers into his hips harshly. Anger starts to surface at the memories.

“Yeah, you did. How can I trust you not to do it again, hmm? This collar makes my devil fruit powers work even better than the last one. So why should I give rewards to bad girls?”

“Can I do something to make it up to you?” The idea Killer shut down a week ago comes back to his mind. He’s done a few good studies to understand how it works, and it sounds pretty easy—easy and a perfect way to show everyone who you belong to.

“Take off your shirt.”

“W-What?”

“You heard me. Take it off.” Kidd watches you with heat pooling in his abdomen as he takes longing glimpses at your bare chest.

“Back to me.” He watches you listen and can’t help but run his fingers along your skin. Tracing your spine causes a shiver to run down his.

Getting up, he placed you down on the chair before tying you to it with a piece of metal. The sight makes him bite the inside of his cheek.

“H-Hey! What the hell!” Kidd only laughed before turning away from you. 

“You know, Killer originally talked me out of this, but since you wanted to be rewarded for bad behavior, I think it’ll go nicely with your new collar.” A rush of power surges through Kidd’s bones as he collects everything he needs.

“It’ll also show anybody who tries to take you away from me that you belong to me.” With his hands finally full, Kidd turns back to you. Your face goes rigid as he walks in your direction, which in turn makes you try to scoot away. Grabbing the side of the chair, he brings you back to him.

“Don’t worry, princess, I did my research.” A major rush of power flowed through Kidd's veins as he watched you struggle to escape.

“This is completely unreasonable! You can’t be serious!”

“You wanted to make it up to me? Well, here's your chance.” Kidd could see the panic in your eyes as he started to heat up the metal pole in his hands.

“There has to be something else, please, Kidd!” In a swift and rash motion, Kidd threw his hand towards you and felt your cheek collide with his knuckles.

“Be fucking grateful that I’m even giving you this chance! Those damn Straw Hats taught you that you can be a brat! I’m going to kill each one of those fuckers! I’ll do it in front of you so you can see what happens when you leave me!”

“You’ll never beat them! They’re gonna come for me and kick your ass!” Red clouded Kidd’s vision hearing your words. Grabbing your hair, he tugs it back so you face him. The tears in your eyes go ignored as Kidd’s grip on the metal pole tightens. He didn’t give you a second to speak before pushing the burning hot pole on your chest.

The scream you let out when the metal was fully pushed onto your skin swiped him out of his rage. The red that once blinded him was now gone as he quickly pulled away from you. He’d never heard something so ear-piercing and painful in his life. It echoed all throughout his workshop, and he felt a panic set in when he noticed he skipped a step in his rage and how you’ve now passed out.

“Shit! Shit! Oi, princess!” Grabbing your chin, his eyes studied your face to see any sign of consciousness, yet he was met with none. His heart rate spiked as he ripped away the metal he tied you with before carrying you bridal style. He rushed to the infirmary and cursed himself internally for not following all the steps as he tried to ignore the graphic third-degree burn on your chest.

~~~

All he could feel was numb, yet a pain that was indescribable when you moved his head to look at his arm. What once used to be a full limb was now nothing more than a stump. He could see his body covered in bandages as the memory of what happened came back to him. Words couldn’t seem to form as he felt his dreams crash down around him. 

“You should lay down and make sure everything heals properly.” Using the arm he had left, Kidd pulled you onto his lap. Burying his head into your scarred chest, it's then that he feels the tears on his own cheeks.

He doesn’t know how long it’s been since he’s cried like this, or if he’s ever cried like this. Crying so hard that he struggled to breathe and began to shake. It felt like the walls were closing in on him as he cried into your chest. All he could think of was how would he become King of the Pirates with one arm? It set him back so  much that he felt hopeless.

But when you wrapped your arms around him and slid your fingers through his hair, he pulled you closer despite his bandaged torso. The slight pain he felt was nothing compared to the pain he felt inside. 

“Just breathe, okay? In and out.” Following your command, Kidd tries to copy your breathing despite continuing to cry. Your now-soaked shirt rubbed against his face, and it only worsened the pain in his heart.

The small and gentle tune you began to hum made his hold tighter. He never wanted to let you go as you comforted him when he needed you the most.

~~~

Kidd sat on a chair next to you in the hospital bed as worry and fear took over him. His anger once again took charge and caused him to hurt you horrifically. Seeing you laying there with bandages covering your head caused a guilt he’s never felt before. He remembered the amount of blood you lost when he ran you to the hospital. It dripped from your head all the way to the hospital.

He managed to nab a doctor right away and have him work on you. Every second you were in the surgery room felt like hell. And what the doctor told him what the diagnosis was made Kidd’s heart clench.

“Since she fell off your ship, there's no doubt she has a sort of head/brain trauma. Long-lasting effects could stem from this injury. Here’s a list of some effects that you can read while I go grab another IV bag.”

Which is where Kidd sat now. Watching you breathe. Watching you breathe with the crumbled up list in hand. Your eyes closed as you sleep, unaware of the wreck he is. Grabbing your hand, Kidd brought it close to his lips and kissed your knuckles before holding it against his forehead.

Caressing your face, Kidd looks at you, sleeping peacefully. The moonlight shining off you gave you that same angelic glow he saw you with all those years ago. Despite the scars that covered your body, you were still so beautiful. Rubbing your cheek, Kidd looked down at you lovingly.

“I’m sorry, princess. You can pull through this. You have to.”

~~~

“This is how it should be, sleeping next to me.” With your legs tangled in his, Kidd scoots his body closer to yours before kissing your forehead. A wicked smile slithers along Kidd’s face.

“All those memories gone. No more talking about home. No more flinching, no more Straw Hats.”

“Those bastards, trying to play hero and stole you from me. Thinking your up for grabs when you obviously belong to me. Meant for me. You were meant to be mine and stay by my side. Why else would I have gotten a second chance?”

“Now, I’ll always have you. You look up at me with loving eyes instead of hatred. Instead of hitting me, you run up to hug me. You kiss me passionately like I’ll disappear any moment. I love it when you run up to me and jump so I can catch you. I love it when you sit next to me while I work in my workshop, giving me praise. If I had known you hit your head harder, I would have you in my arms willingly…”

“Then I would’ve thrown you against the wall harder.”

~~~

‘That selfish prick! After everything I’ve done to keep her in the dark, he comes around and fucks it up! Everything was going great! She loved me yet-’

“Fuck!” Slamming his metal hand against the bench in his workshop, Kidd begins to tear it apart. Weapons were thrown to unknown corners of the room, pieces of metal scattered across the floor, and a dent in the bench.

Kidd gritted his teeth as his whole body uncontrollably shook. The dried blood staining his hand only continued to serve his rage. Because even if Heat was already dead, the damage had been done.  The day of you holding him tight and kissing him was over. He’ll never be able to feel you close to him again. At least, not without a fight.

Hot tears began to stream down his face as he gripped the dented bench with an iron grip. His tears felt like an acid against his skin as his vision blurred. The smirk the bastard wore while he bled out behind you burned into Kidd’s memory.

Giving you a devil fruit, a logia type at that was infuriating. How the hell did he manage to get it on the boat and have you eat it? You were always by his side, so how could Heat have given it to you? The day of the fight? Or when he caught you and Heat talking to each other alone? How could he not see the signs earlier? Why did it take the busting open of your old cell door twice for him to finally understand what he needed to do?

Yet it was too late.

“God damnit.” Kidd swallowed the lump in his throat before letting out a sniffle. “This is bad. How am I gonna fix this? There’s gotta be a way-”

“Kidd.” The workshop door opens, and Killer stands in the doorway. Quickly wiping his tears, Kidd tries to regain steady breathing, hoping Killer doesn’t see his moment of weakness.

“What Killer?”

“You better have a good plan. Explain where Heat went and where (Y/N) went.” Kidd stays silent, which is all Killer needs.

“Did you-”

“I saw everything from the shadows. This could be a sign, you know?”

“What kind of fucking sign?”

“You know what kind of sign I’m talking about.” Silence covers the workshop.

“Maybe it’s time to let her-”

“No!” Kidd slams his metal hand on the bench with enough force to cause another dent.

“Well, what do you think you should do then?” Once again, the workshop goes silent.

“Giving you a week to decide for (Y/N). As for Heat, better pull something good out of your ass.” Just as soon as Killer entered, he left. Leaving Kidd to wallow in his predicament.

~~~

“Do you really think she’s on this island, Kidd? It’s been a week since the paper came out.”

“She will be on this island. If she isn’t, I’ll kill anyone I need to to figure out where she went. I don’t want a single civilian to go unquestioned. If they refuse to tell you, don’t be afraid to use violence.”

The bustling port of Haylard Island has Kidd’s eyes scanning every inch of movement. If you were on that dock, he wanted to make sure he saw you. There was no room for him to be making mistakes. He’s already made enough.

“Burn down buildings, steal supplies, and anything you think is worth something. Do not stop until the ashes block out the sun.”

“Yes, captain!” Hearing his own crew leave, Kidd finally let out a shaky inhale while looking down. The sea stared back at him, once again mocking him for losing you.

“Laugh all you want, but take my word. I’ll burn and kill my way back to her. And nothing will stop me until she’s in my arms.”

~~~

Despite the night once being full of cheers, the marine group of G-5 now found themselves fighting for their lives. What should have been a celebration was now a fight to the death as they were ambushed in the dark of the night. The once-empty sky was now covered in flaming arrows heading directly toward them.

“Everyone, man, your stations! We’re under attack, so get ready for a fight!” The captain's commands echo throughout the ship, and no one wastes a second. Running up and down the ship, Captain Tashigi checks to see if everything is in order to ensure supreme safety.

“Captain!” the sound of a terrified marine rings through her ears as she runs to the voice. Coming up from below the deck, she’s met with fire and smoke. It felt as if her heart was going to explode as all she could hear was marines yelling and the flickering of flames.

The flames only got higher as she tried to figure out what to do. Before she went below deck, they were able to contain the fires, but now, it’s almost consumed the entire deck. With how fast the flames were spreading, there was no doubt that the ship would be at the bottom of the sea before sunrise. 

Grabbing a transponder snail she kept in her pocket, she began to call the nearest marine base to help with the attack. She realized this wasn’t a battle they could fight on their own. 

“Hello! This is Captain Tashigi of G-5. We need backup right away! We’re under attack, and the ship is engrossed in flames!”

“G-5, this is (....)! We will send you back up right away! What are your locations, and can you see the attackers?”

“Our coordinates are (-------)! I don’t know, as the flames are so tall and the smoke is-” The whole ship shook as something hit the deck, causing Tashigi to drop the transponder snail and fall backward.

“-Oof!”

“Captain are you okay?”

“Something just hit the boat! I’m unaware of what it is!” Quickly getting back on her feet, Tashigi grabs her sword along with the transponder snail.

“I’m going to go check it out.”

“Keep us on the line.”

“Will do.” Putting the snail away for safekeeping, Tashigi grips her sword with both hands as she starts to walk carefully through the flames.

As soon as she stepped in, the sound of a marine screaming echoed across the deck. Panic set in the captain's stomach as her hands began to shake. The screams of pain and terror only caused more panic to set in. But she’s the captain. She has to be strong. She can’t back down.

“G-5, what’s going on?!” The screams of pain and agony continue before a loud audible SNAP rings in Tashigi’s ears. Assuming the worst, she feels all the color drain from her face.

And just like that, it was quiet.

“G-5?” With her voice trembling, Tashigi couldn’t help but be frozen in place.

“Tashigi.” Before she could scream, a rough, calloused hand covered her mouth. Looking in her peripheral vision, she saw Vice Admiral Smoker motioning her to shush. Nodding her head, Smoker lowered his hand.

“What’s going on, Vice Admiral?”

“Almost the entire deck has been engulfed in flames. We need to go to the other side of the ship.”

“But what about-”

“It’s silent over those flames, Tashigi.” With tears prickling in her eyes, she understands what he’s saying despite wishing it not to be true. Grabbing her hand, Smoker runs to the end of the ship, where there are fewer flames. Their footsteps echo, giving away their position to the attackers.

As she was running, Tashigi’s sword started vibrating before being completely pulled from her hands. She watched it fly backward and into the flames. A metal thunk rang across the deck, making her eyes widen. When she looked into the flames, she felt her heart stop.

Walking through the flames was no other than the man who had the whole new world in the palm of his hand.

“V-Vice Admiral…it’s-”

“Go hide, Tashigi. I’ll handle this.” Putting himself in front of her, Smoker points towards the darkness.

“But-”

“I’ll be fine. Go hide. Don’t come out until I come to get you.”

With a tremble in her voice, she responds. “Okay.”

Running into the darkness, Tashigi searches around with a racing heart, desperate to find a hiding spot. The sound of unintelligible yelling and metal clanking only makes her search more frantic. She should be fighting, but if Smoker says to hide…

“Killer! Go after the girl. She ran straight ahead.”

“You’ll have to get past me first. Both of you.”

“Vice Admiral.” Whispering to herself, Tashigi runs around some more before spotting an empty barrel. With no more time to spend, she jumps in.

As she gets as comfortable as she can, she puts the barrel lid over her head, leaving her in complete darkness. Her knees pressed against her chest as she struggles to take deep breaths. She tries to prevent herself from shivering.

‘This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.’ She thinks to herself as tears slip down her cheeks. She knew the stakes there were to bring you to Sabaody, but they were so careful about not giving away. It was then taking care of you. How did Kidd figure out it was them?

A loud thud can be heard throughout the deck before silence. No words were spoken, and the fear was only intensified. Tashigi felt her throat grow dry as she started to hear boots shuffling along the deck.

Sounds of things being searched causes her heart to beat out of her chest. Her body begins to shake as she hears the boots walking towards her hiding spot. 

The moonlight soon shines down on her as the barrel's lid pops open. She looks up and sees no one. The moonlight shone down on her as she feared who had opened the lid, but she soon gets her answer.

“Found you.”

~~~

Haven't been able to draw for shit so no picture

@rebeccawinters @iggy5055 @dairygrrl @childconnoisseur @menifire1092 @nerdgeekandeverysweet-blog @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @lovemesomefanfic846 @ryuv1i @carpinchootaku @misoxramen @pinkfoxmusic @mizzhellsingsstuff

[runningfrom2am]

requiem // part two

summary: according to coriolanus snow, his best friend had the most beautiful voice in all of panem. she had been training her whole life constantly to get where she was; being up for a residency at the most elite opera house in all of panem. singing was her passion. her true love; and when that got stripped from her in a second, his world became a whole lot quieter. he loathed every minute of it.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 2.7k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: opera singer!mentor!reader (blink and you'll miss it), she's kind of a prodigy!! p cool imo, mute!reader, bestfriend!coryo, friends to lovers trope ooo, mentions of graphic violence early on (particularly the prologue) but after that it's pretty safe, depictions of ptsd/trauma, mental illness and minor suicidal ideation but at least she's not entirely alone, descriptions of minor medical treatments and use of medication.

a/n: the playlist is up now and i think it's cute so far!! if you have any song suggestions that should go on it please let me know!

the songs in this part are "Into the Unknown" by Idina Menzel, "Never Enough" by Loren Allred, and "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" by Celine Dion !!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist // pinterest board

four months earlier

"Hey, what did I say about breathing, hun?" You turn on your piano bench, stopping your playing abruptly. "You sound strained."

The little girl giggles, shaking her head. "I'm sorry! I always forget!"

"Okay, well, forgetting to breathe won't do you much good, will it?" You ask, smile on your face as you raise an eyebrow at her.

"Probably not, miss."

"Definitely not!" You laugh, placing your hands on your knees to push yourself up from your seated position. "Here's what we'll do. No music, we'll just go through the first verses together without breathing. Go as long as we can, yeah?"

The little girl nods, and you take a deep, dramatic breath before you start your part with the three big interjections so she would know when to start. You smile as you watch her take a big deep breath too before her part comes in, and you continue with her.

"You're not a voice, you're just a ringing in my ear. And if I heard you, which I don't," She giggles at the spoken line, which you know is her favorite. You smile and motion for her to keep going with you. "I'm spoken for, I fear. Everyone I've ever loved is here within these walls. I'm sorry, secret siren, but I'm blocking out your calls."

That's the part where she can't continue, her singing voice fading into a strained whisper as she tries to get it out, but you can keep going.

"I've had my adventure, I don't need something new. I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you..." You don't make it much farther, considering you had started much sooner and had some belted interjections, but you try your best. You both laugh as you gasp for a deep breath when you're done, chest feeling tight.

"Even you can't sing for long without breathing!" She laughs, and you nod.

"See? That's what I'm saying! I lasted just a little longer, but that comes with years of practice, so you've gotta focus on your breathing now, and you'll outsing me in no time."

"Now," You start, walking up to her and grabbing her hand, molding it to be held out flat in front of her. "Hold your hand right here, and every time you breathe, you should be feeling your tummy hit your hand. Big, quick breaths. You got it?" You ask the little blonde girl.

Coryo watches from the crack in the door as she tries it out, and you make sure her hand is in the right place. He smiles a little to himself, seeing how good you are with her. You had just started teaching a few months ago, and you told him you loved it, but he had never stopped by during your lessons before.

"Yes, just like that. Are we ready for music again?" You smile, and she nods, arm held out firmly in front of herself exactly where you placed it.

You gently pat her shoulders and head back over to your piano seat, flipping back to the first page of the old yellowed sheet music in front of you.

He watches your hands as you play at the same time as you sing, looking back over your shoulder to cue her and play her in.

"Big, big voice!" You remind her as she reaches the chorus, wanting her to really push.

"I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you, into the unknown!"

"Yes, good! You're an angel!" You smile when she nails it, pushing into the piano keys.

"Keep going, let's do the whole thing." You encourage her, normally you would do it in small sections to work on little bits and pieces, but you wanted her to try out the full thing at least once before her lesson was done for the day.

With your waiting room at the academy just a little ways down the hall, Coryo is sure he could still hear your accompaniments from there, so he goes to sit and wait for you to be done.

"Alright, you did amazing today! What are we going to work on tomorrow?" You ask, holding the door for the little girl as she walks out with her backpack.

"Breathing!"

"Yes, good. Now remember your hand, where does it go?" Coryo assumes she's showing you when he hears you praise her. "Yes! Good girl. Go through the whole thing ten times tomorrow with your mother, and I'll see you on Thursday, okay?" He stands up when he hears you say your goodbye, grabbing his bag and preparing to go.

"Thank you, miss! See you on Thursday!" He can hear her skipping off down the hall, followed by the main doors opening and closing before he walks over to your training room.

He peeks through the open doorway, watching you gather up your sheet music and put it carefully into your book bag.

"What song was that? I've never heard it before."

You jump, turning quickly and staring at him with wide eyes, which quickly relax when you see your best friend. "Coryo." You laugh softly, shaking your head. "You scared me!"

"Sorry." He chuckles, taking that as permission to come in, stepping in and looking around.

"It's from an old, old movie. I've never heard of it, but the company that composed them for the films had tons of pieces more suited for children." You explain, holding out the unpacked bit of sheet music to him. He takes it carefully from your hand, flipping through the old book, labeled 'Disney' across the front. "Those ones are harder, a bit above her level, but I wanted to try pushing her, and she likes it, which helps." You explain, holding your hand out for him to pass it back when he's done.

"Did you learn many of these?" He asks, tilting his head at you as he hands it back.

"Oh, all of them." You laugh, carefully tucking it into your bag. "I performed one from that same film when I was about... twelve? Yes. Twelve. My teacher accompanied me for the sirens' part."

"Is that what you were singing in hers?" Coryo asks. He's sure he must be annoying, laying into you with question after question, but he was truly interested. He loved hearing you sing- he wanted to know everything you were willing to share about your life. Especially the massive part of it he knew he would never quite fully understand; your music.

"Yes, it is." You nod, cheeks flushing as you close up the piano. "It's so beautiful, I've always wanted to try that part. If she excels at it, maybe I'll accompany her at the gala."

"Oh, right. Where can I buy tickets again?" The music academy had a gala at the end of every year, and the students would all perform something- you were one of very few who got a solo. You'd gotten one every year since you had enrolled officially at five, and every year the people of the Capitol looked forward to it. Tickets were hard to come by, but that's because they were held for family and friends of the students. This year would be your last, and next year, no one doubted you would have a residency performing for the elites. You had done so a few times before, but Coryo could never afford a ticket- though, that never stopped you from offering them up first. Another benefit to be added to the list of things he can afford after he wins the Plinth Prize.

"I have spares, they're all yours if you want them." You smile at him, heading for the door and flicking off the lights. "But you don't have to come."

"It's your last gala, of course I'll come." He insists, closing the door behind himself as he follows you out.

"Yay! Then I'll get you the tickets." You grin, heels clicking as you walk alongside him down the hallway.

"Thank you." Coryo grins. "Hey, do you want to work on that English assignment together tonight? We could go to that coffee shop you like."

"I have rehearsals." You sigh. "Sorry, but maybe tomorrow? After I practice?"

"Rehearsals? Already?"

You raise an eyebrow at him. That was a stupid question and he knew it.

"You're right. That was dumb." He laughs. "Can I come?"

"To rehearsals?" You ask, stopping as he opens the door for you. He nods. "I guess so. You'll just have to hide in the back so Miss Cornelia doesn't see you."

"Alright, guess I'll be hiding then." He smiles.

It doesn't take long to walk across campus to the theater, and you and Coryo part ways when you take the stage entrance.

He walks around to the side of the building, sneaking in through an emergency exit. He can hear you warming up already, your voice carrying through every hall and stairwell in the theater.

When the door at the very back upper level of the theater creaks open slowly, you have to keep yourself from looking or drawing attention to your friend's entrance as you continue with your scale. You were already warmed up from your lesson, but Miss Cornelia always insists you do anyway. Realistically, there was rarely a moment when you weren't asleep that you weren't "warmed up."

"We're starting with 'Never Enough,' " Your instructor tells you, and you nod slightly, taking a final sip of water while she signals for whoever was in the booth today to start the instrumental record. If you were to perform this live, you would have the orchestra there, but it was difficult to get forty people to agree to come practice just for your rehearsals. By now, everyone knew you didn't need it anyway.

You didn't want to start with this song- you didn't even want to perform it anymore, but she liked it. It was below your skill level, by this point, but people liked to hear it. It was a beautiful piece, but ironically, it wasn't enough anymore if you wanted to progress your career.

Coryo pulls out his homework on his lap, finding the sound of your voice very relaxing to work behind.

"Stop- stop!" Miss Cornelia calls out, and you're hardly past the first chorus. The music cuts out, and Coryo looks up from his book. You look at her with a furrowed brow. "You're listening to yourself. Stop that. You know better. Now, start again."

The piano starts, but your argument makes it halt again. "I'm listening because I want to hear something different. I've been doing this song for years, I want to at least improve somehow if I must keep beating this dead horse."

Your instructor raises an eyebrow at you. "Oh?" She asks, dropping her pen down on her notepad. "You think you've perfected it, have you?"

You swallow your fear, nodding slightly.

"Okay, well, you still sound stiff in the bridge, and the final chorus is still under-supported." She critiques you, challenging you with her stare.

Coryo watches the interaction, confused as to what on earth this woman was talking about. He knew little about the technical terms and what she meant, but to him, it sounded perfect. He had heard it before several times- you definitely knew what you were doing.

"I'm not performing this." You reply simply, shaking your head as you reach for your water bottle. You had enough self confidence with your singing to know she was just letting the music fall on deaf ears- so familiar with the piece and your particular voice that she would never find it perfect. "Let me do something else."

"Not until this is perfect."

"Sorry, allow me to rephrase: I won't be performing this. I'll be doing something else." You insist, bringing the bottle to your lips and Coryo wants to cheer you on for standing up for yourself, but he stays silent.

"Okay." Miss Cornelia replies, clapping her hands together. "What do you suggest? Since you're the professional."

"I Will Always Love You." you offer, placing your water bottle back down, screwing the lid back on. "Or Skyfall, or Human, or Time to Say Goodbye, Memory, With or Without You, Mandy, Praying, I don't know- any of these other songs that I have been working on for years!" you exclaim, speed and volume increasing with every title you throw at her. "Don't you think any of those could be more representative of my range?"

"No." Your instructor shuts you down quickly, pushing her glasses up her nose. "We have been preparing this for your final gala for too long to change it now. That's not fair to the orchestra or the board. The university is expecting it as well."

"It's All Coming Back to Me Now." You demand, and the theater gets so silent in the moment that follows that Coryo is sure you could hear his breathing from the stage if he wasn't already holding it back.

He doesn't know the song, but the deafening silence that followed your suggestion led him to believe it was something difficult or different than what he's used to hearing from you.

"That piece isn't difficult, the orchestra doesn't even have to learn it. I can play for myself on the piano and they will be that much more impressed, no? The hardest part is the vocals and I know I can do it- I've been practicing it for years. My family says it's outstanding." You continue, determined in your every word.

"Your family? Oh, well, that's wonderful. Maybe they should coach you, then. Since they're experts." She scoffs in response. "Like I said, the university scouts are expecting 'Never Enough.' We couldn't change our submission now if we wished to- and even if we could, the unprofessionalism you'd be displaying would be astounding. So no, absolutely not."

You sigh. You don't need that stupid scholarship- you probably won't even need to go to university for anything more than the title you'd get after you graduate. You were essentially promised a residency at the opera house already, but she was right. It wasn't fair to the orchestra to throw something new at them only one semester away from the gala, or remove them from the plan altogether.

"Again." She says, not giving you the chance to fight with her before the music meets your ears again.

You shake your head, waving a hand dismissively at the sound booth. "Let me play it for you, then decide."

Coriolanus could feel the tensity of the situation somehow increase as your coach nodded in unenthused approval.

She was willing to hear you out, that was good.

You take a deep breath, turning on your heel to go over to the piano on the stage. Every footstep masks the pounding of your heart at the small victory, your nerves only spiking when you remembered your best friend was there to listen today.

Oh, but when he hears you play...

He did not expect the intensity at which your voice came in as he tried to make out your hands moving across the keys, eyes straining from the back of the large auditorium to try and hold on to your every word and note. You didn't even have any sheet music, and your eyes were closed as you played. You had certainly been practicing this piece for quite some time.

This was unlike anything he had ever heard you perform before.

"There were nights of endless pleasure, it was more than any laws would allow..."

Particularly, he realized, in subject matter.

You were not kids anymore, that much he had to come to terms with very suddenly. He didn't expect you to be so comfortable with the verses leaving your lips, but if you were nervous by them, it was unreadable.

God, this song must be like ten minutes long.

Every time he thinks you're done you're not, and with every high note, every borderline scandalous line, he's not sure how you haven't fainted. Well, no. He knows better than that, but he knows for certain that he definitely would have.

No one in Panem can sing quite like you.

"The flesh and the fantasies, all coming back to me.

I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now."

Coryo wonders if you even know the implications of every word. If you understood and just didn't care, or if you were innocently ignorant. The idea of sex wasn't something you ever spoke of, but he figures himself foolish to hear you sing this with such clear passion and assume that you didn't understand. To sing about heartbreak and lovemaking and complex emotions all in one song and belt it like you felt every word, well, he didn't even realize he was holding his breath until he couldn't hold it anymore.

Coryo, you're both eighteen. If you get it, she gets it. Be realistic.

Maybe that day, homework long abandoned in his lap, your best friend started looking at you just a little bit differently.

no taglist this time around!! my fics usually get over a hundred requests to be added to the taglist so instead i made a library! follow me over on @runningfrom2am-library and turn on notifs to get updates when i post new parts!!

[purplemagics-blog]

MY LOGAN HOWLETT/WOLVERINE HEAD CANONS!!🐱🚬

LMAOO JUST SO YALL KNOW HALF OF THERES IS JUST LOGAN ACTING LIKE A CAT😭

Oh yeah and most of these take place in Deadpool and Wolverine before and after everybody in the X men died

1.) When no one is looking Logan sits in box’s like a cat. Ones Scott walked in on him doing it and to this day is still teasing him about it.

2.) When someone is taking a picture of him his eyes glow like when someone takes a picture of a cat.

3.) An actual mess when drunk to the point of crying. Ones Wade had to carry him bridal style out of bar cuz the bar called him so be could get “a man that is just sitting there crying while drinking a bottle of whiskey”

4.) Holds onto grudges harder than the average person. Once Wade accidentally spilled wine on his new white sweater and he didn’t talk to Wade for 5 months.

5.) Sometimes when bored Wade will take out a laser pointer and Pointed at the wall as he watches, Logan try to catch it and destroy the apartment in the process.

6.) at one point Wade forest Logan to go to therapy a.k.a. Wade dressed up like some old therapist and sat Logan down on the couch.

7.)Logan sleeps in Wade’s room cuz be doesn’t want to be alone when he is having nightmares/flashbacks.🥹

8.) speaking of nightmares and flashbacks Wade comfort, and holds Logan in his arms when he realizes he is not in the nightmare anymore.

9.) Logan is very paranoid and deathly scared of pickles and tinfoil like a cat LMAOO. (Wade knows this and takes advantage of this every single time)

10.) Logan is embarrassed by the smallest things but acts like it doesn’t affect him.

11.) Logan has a “white girl playlist” with Taylor, Swift, and Katy Perry on it.

12.) speaking of music he listens to Arctic Monkeys and his favorite song by them is “sex, drugs, etc.”

13.) Ones Scott took his box of cigarettes and Logan begged on his hands and knees to give it back.

14.) In the “worst Wolverine” universe he was fighting with Jean for Scott like how he was fighting with Scott for Jean in other universes and that night when he went to the bar and got shit faced. He finally gathered enough courage to ask Scott out but by the time he was there everyone was dead and he still beats himself up mentally for being to much of a pussy to ask him out before. :( (Sorry had that one in my mind for a while just needed to tell someone about it)

15.)He loves pancakes. Like you don’t even understand HE LOVES PANCAKES A LOT! (Especially Scott’s pancakes🥹)

16.) He takes game night a little too seriously. Like if he catches you cheating he’s going to fuck you up LMAO. Also, no matter what he will not let everyone quit until the game is over.

17.) Reads cooking magazines in his free time. He cannot cook.

18.) speaking of cooking this man is absolute dog shit at cooking😭🙏🏽 this man can’t even make a grilled cheese without burning the kitchen down. (And he may or may not act like he doesn’t know how to cook something he does cook just so Scott can cook it for him)

19.) He acts like he listens to country music even though he can’t name one song.

20.) He needs reading glasses but he just refuses to wear them but Xavier after some pushing and convincing got him to wear ✨contacts✨

21.) FUCKING LOVES CATS. But he acts like he doesn’t.

22.) fucking hates doing the laundry tbh hates doing any chores.

23.) Purrs when he has a good dream!

24.) Needs at pillowcases and his bed like a cat.

25.) his bed is more like a nest but he fully denies it saying it’s just for to keep warm. What I mean by nest is pillow, pillowcases, blankets old clothes just laid across his bed like a nest where he just sleeps in the middle of all of it.

26.) Even if he comes home covered in blood she will still lay in bed and go to bed if he’s tired, no matter how dirty he is.

27.) at this point is not faced by gore.

28.) if one of the X-Men members gets a cat, he will ask them to pet sit for them while they’re on missions. 

29.) Loves when his partners sit in his lap.

30.) 100% AT LEAST IN ONE UNIVERSE POLYAMOROUS WITH JEAN AND SCOTT!!

OK, that’s all I got, but I post a part two if I come up with more 

Honestly, same 

[inawickedlittletown]

Don't Make A Shadow Of Yourself (BuckTommy fic) - 5/8

Summary: "A man who's pure of heart...may still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright" - Howl (F+TM)

Throughout most of his adult life, Tommy had dealt with what he was. The duality of being a man and also an animal…a beast. Werewolves weren’t born, they were made. 

Words: 3,136

Read on Ao3

Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three

Chapter Four

-

Chapter Five

Tuesday, Tommy drove to Evan’s apartment. He felt nervous and excited all at once. It’d been a while since he transformed anywhere other than at his house. Back when he was still with the 118, Tommy had been a little more adventurous. He’d drive out somewhere and transform and then run into a forested area, Even on his own, he’d gone on camping trips that left him somewhere in the woods where no one could bother him and he could transform and run around and then sleep under the stars and take another run in the morning before he made his way back to civilization. It had never seemed worth it when he wound up making the trek and then really only enjoying the woods as a wolf for a few hours. He didn’t like to think about how lonely it had made him feel to be out there all on his own. 

He sent a text after parking and feeling a little antsy, got out of the car to stretch his legs. He kinda wanted to shift right there and then to shake the feeling off. It didn’t take long for Evan to appear. He carried a gym bag with him and a small tupperware container. 

“Hey,” Evan said with a grin. “Ready?” 

“Here, let me get that,” Tommy said, reaching for Evan’s bag. 

They were on the road a few minutes later. Evan immediately connected his own phone to the radio rather than let the station Tommy wasn’t listening to play whatever was considered popular at the moment. It was only after he’d pressed play that he bothered to ask if it was okay. 

“Doesn’t bother me,” Tommy said. 

“Good. I should have made us a playlist.” 

“Are you a big music guy?” 

Evan shrugged. “I guess a little. I do own a record player so if I really like an album I’ll try to get the vinyl. Haven’t really liked anything new lately.”

They talked music for a while. It seemed like Evan had a taste that ranged through genres in a way that Tommy had somehow not expected. It was cute though, especially when Evan brought up going to a concert with Bobby a couple of months after meeting him. 

“I won these tickets from a radio station,” Evan said. “I think Bobby actually went with me out of pity. But we had a good time. So maybe not.” 

Tommy told him about Bobby’s first day as Captain. About how out of place he’d seemed and yet how he’d brought a different energy to the firehouse.

“Before Bobby we were the house that Captains went to retire,” Tommy said. “Well, before that we had Captain Gerrard. He made the 118 repressive and every bit of horrible that it could be for everyone that wasn’t a white guy that agreed with him.” 

“Hen and Chim mentioned him once,” Evan said. “Didn’t sound great.” 

“He really wasn’t. I, uh, I wasn’t all that great back then either. Just kinda went along with the crowd because the last thing I wanted was anyone looking too closely at me.”

He didn’t tell Evan that it was because he was gay and a Werewolf and that it was the being gay part that he was hiding more.

“You didn’t want anyone to find out,” Evan said. 

“I really didn’t,” Tommy confirmed. 

Halfway there, Evan popped his container open and handed Tommy a cookie. “I made them with Chris and Jee yesterday.” 

“You bake?” 

Evan’s cheeks flushed pink. “Yeah…sometimes.” 

The cookie was delicious. Tommy ate another. 

When they arrived, Tommy felt his nerves return. 

“Alright?” Evan asked. 

“I, uh, haven’t done this in a while,” Tommy said. 

He turned to look at Evan. “What?” 

“Haven’t come out to run in the woods,” Tommy said. “I have a big backyard.” 

Evan smiled at him. “That couldn’t possibly be the same as this.”

“It’s not,” Tommy admitted. 

“You’re not alone. It’ll be fun,” Evan said. 

Tommy hated it a little, how reassuring that was. He could tell that Evan was excited and that there was an ease about him. He was confident about this and Tommy could be as well. When they got to a good spot where they could stash their stuff, Tommy was already feeling better about it. They hadn’t seen many people around, and it didn’t take long for Evan to drop his bag and turn to Tommy. 

“Ready?” 

Then, Evan lifted his shirt up like it was nothing, his pale skin becoming unveiled. He was lean and muscular and Tommy had seen his shirtless pictures on Instagram, but there was nothing to seeing Evan with his own eyes. To see how his movement stretched and flexed his muscle, or how smooth his skin was. 

When Evan dropped his shirt atop his bag, Tommy had to make himself look away. He busied himself with getting his own shirt off and then his shoes and socks. He tucked those away and saw that Evan was already stashing his bag, camouflaging it among the leaves at the base of a tree. Evan was down to boxer briefs that hugged his thighs and his pert ass. Tommy turned away, taking his own pants off and stuffing them in his bag. His face felt too hot and he wanted to shift quickly. 

He put his bag near Evan’s and when he turned to look for Evan again, he found the wolf staring right at Tommy, ears perked up and his tail swishing behind him. 

“Turn around, Evan,” Tommy said. 

Even as a wolf, Evan could give a reproachful look. He made a yipping noise and he turned and walked towards the nearest trees. Tommy tucked his own underwear in his bag and then he transformed on the spot. 

—

It wasn’t fair how big Tommy was. Not Tommy as a wolf — though he was a big wolf too. Tommy in general was just big. Buck hadn’t meant to get stuck watching him after his shirt came off, but he just couldn’t help it. He was just so solid, built in a way that was almost intimidating and Buck…well, he’d always admired hot people and Tommy was hot. He looked literally like one of those marble statues and Buck had always liked museums. 

His first sight of him as a Werewolf left him breathless too. For one thing, he was definitely bigger than Buck. Thicker and taller with brown fur and as expected, gorgeous blue eyes that stood out even more on the wolf than on the human. His paws were somehow white and when the wind shifted Buck was hit by his scent. It was stronger as a wolf and Buck recognized it because it was Tommy, but also because he just smelled good and Buck wanted to bury himself in it. He’d thought that it had been a cologne the day of the barbeque, but it was just Tommy. Musky and woody but minty with something that could have been some kind of citrus. 

The closer Tommy got to him, the stronger the smell was and the more that Buck just wanted to nuzzle his snout into his neck so he could get a better whiff. Restraint was hard for Buck, but he turned and walked and tried to focus on the smells of the forest. Tommy followed and there was no denying that he was a bit more cautious as he walked. 

When Buck started to walk a little faster, Tommy matched his stride and then Buck started to run. He loved to run as a wolf. There was power in his legs, and he loved the way his paws dug into the soft ground. He couldn’t imagine not existing among nature as a wolf. 

Tommy chased him and they ran for a while, Buck always a little bit ahead which he was sure was only because Tommy allowed it. He only slowed when they got to a stream, the water gurgling over rocks and branches. Buck went right in for a drink. The water was cool and refreshing. 

It was weird to drink as a wolf. It had taken Buck some time to figure out properly how he was supposed to use his tongue to catch the water. He still nearly always managed to get his whole snout wet. Tommy looked messy too, dripping water off his fur. He shook his head, throwing off water in Buck’s direction and then he ran and Buck gave chase. 

Buck followed Tommy’s scent, captivated by the way that it mingled with the trees and the leaves and the earthy wet smell of the forest. He had never smelled something so good, something that he wanted to entrench himself in. 

When Tommy finally slowed down, Buck slowed with him, brushing his side against Tommy’s. Tommy turned to him, nosing at his neck and ears. Buck sat back and Tommy sat next to him. Wind rustled the trees above them, dropping a few leaves, but nothing could tear them apart.

Eventually, they looped back the way they came. Buck tried not to scare a small red fox, but then got to watch as the fox ran as fast as it could from them when Tommy snapped a twig. 

Only once did they have to hide amongst the trees when people appeared, walking the trail. They made it back to their bags a little while later and they both turned away as they shifted back. Nudity was a part of being a Werewolf and Buck was used to it. He and Eddie didn’t even care enough with how often they shifted around each other. 

Somehow it felt different with Tommy. Tommy made him nervous for some reason that Buck couldn’t pinpoint. It made him dress just a little bit faster and once they were both fully dressed, he felt like he wanted to jump back into his wolf and run out again just so that he could keep Tommy longer. 

“That was fun,” Tommy said, breaking the silence. “I didn’t realize how much I missed it.”

Buck tugged at his shirt, fixing it. “We’ll have to do it again,” Buck said. “Hey, uh, what are you doing at the next full moon?” 

“I usually just stay home,” Tommy admitted and he looked away. “Used to go to the Division sometimes years ago but it wasn’t really my thing. So, I…I made sure I had a big backyard.” 

To Buck that sounded more than a little sad. “Eddie and I come out here sometimes. Or a different spot. One time we spent it at the beach which was…well, not the best idea. You can join us. If you, uh, if you want.” 

He tried his hardest not to show how much he wanted Tommy to say yes. He felt it desperately, like he didn’t know if the full moon would go alright if Tommy wasn’t at his side and that…that was new. 

“Oh,” Tommy said and he couldn’t hide his surprise. “I wouldn’t want to intrude.” 

“You won’t be,” Buck assured. “Eddie will be excited to have another wolf and I really…I want to spend it with you.” 

He could feel the warmth on his face, but Tommy just smiled at him and it was a different smile than Buck had gotten before. It was pleased and just a tad unsure. Buck found it endearing. 

“Can I think about it?”

“Uh…yeah, sure. Sure. Of course.” Buck tried to not be too disappointed at not getting a concrete yes. 

On the drive back, they ate the remaining cookies. They’d been out there so long that they had skipped right over lunch and Buck was starving. His eyes couldn’t help but track Tommy’s mouth as he chewed, or how he licked up crumbs and chocolate from his lips. 

“How does Bobby deal with two of you being Werewolves?” Tommy asked. 

Buck looked away and gulped. 

“Oh. He, uh, tries to schedule us both off,” Buck said. “If he can’t, then we’re usually scheduled until a few hours before sundown. It’s not easy sometimes, but we’ve managed it. I only had to transform at the station once.” 

He saw Tommy’s eyebrow shoot up. “How was that?” 

“Well, not everyone knows. So Hen let me out and then I just left. She left me clothes out in the back for when I got back in the morning.” 

“Wow,” Tommy said. 

Buck chuckled. “I know, it’s a bit crazy. I was always waiting for the day when I lost track of time on a call and I had to just transform there and then. How, uh, how is it for you?” 

“They all think I’m superstitious about full moons,” Tommy said. 

“Really?” Buck said through a grin. “No one suspects a thing?” 

“Why would they? To the normal person, we don’t exist, Evan.”

He loved the way his name sounded coming from Tommy. It was why he didn’t think he would ever correct him on how most people called him Buck. Usually, he hated it whenever anyone used his first name — had hated it ever since he became Buck when there were three Evans in his class at the fire academy. He hadn’t known how much was attached to his name until he had a new name. Tommy just…he said it with care, like his name was important. 

“I know. Uh, you ever wonder about what else is out there?” Buck asked. 

“Like what, Vampires?” Tommy asked and since they were at a light, he turned to look at Buck with a perplexed expression. 

“Yeah. I guess. I mean, it’s not implausible is it?” 

Tommy sighed. “I guess not. Next thing you’ll tell me is you think unicorns are real.” 

“Hey,” Buck said, “you don’t know they aren’t. What if they went extinct.” 

He loved the way that Tommy laughed, how it crinkled the corners of his eyes. 

“Never change, Evan.” 

—

Tommy didn’t really go around smelling people. At least, not when he could help it. Sometimes colognes or perfumes were just that strong or worse it was bad hygiene and bad BO that could hit a Werewolf nose — even in human form — like a punch. He hadn’t known that Evan would smell so good. At first, he thought it was something else, but it was Evan. He smelled like something sweet, which, of course he did. His scent was warm, it was also earthy and Tommy thought lavender was mixed in too. It wasn’t until they were running and the wind was catching Evan’s fur that Tommy knew why he found it familiar. He smelled like tea. More precisely, earl gray. Bergamot. Evan smelled like Bergamot. 

Tommy had forgotten what it felt like to run with another wolf. How it felt to chase and be chased or how wonderful it was to lean against Evan and have his scent surround him. 

Afterwards, when they were back in his car, it was like he couldn’t stop smelling him. Really, it was that he didn’t want to stop. He knew he had never reacted to anyone like this. He’d never been something like obsessed with anyone’s scent before. Scent drunk, some Werewolves called it. 

By the time they were back at Evan’s apartment, Tommy didn’t want to leave him. Evan didn’t get out of the car. He lingered and then turned to Tommy almost nervously. 

“Are you hungry?” 

“We skipped lunch,” Tommy pointed out. 

“Pizza?” Evan asked and the way he tilted his head, smile on his lips was so puppy-like. This man was far too precious. 

“Sure,” Tommy said. 

Evan shot him an even bigger smile, as if he had thought that Tommy would turn him down. Instead, he followed him up to his apartment. He was impressed. It had a nice loft space and then the rest of it was open concept. Everything was neat and tidy. As nice as it was, he couldn’t imagine that it was ever a space where Evan could shift forms. 

“Uh, if you want to clean up a little the bathroom is through there,” Evan pointed at the half open door. 

“Thanks.” 

He wasn’t too messy. It wasn’t like they had rolled around in the mud or anything. Still, he splashed water on his face and ran his wet fingers through his hair. When he rejoined Evan, he found him in the kitchen with a paper menu for a nearby pizza place and two beer bottles. He handed Tommy both the menu and a beer. 

“I liked your wolf,” Evan said a while later, when they’d settled at Evan’s table. 

“Yeah?” 

He was blushing for some reason that Tommy couldn’t determine. At times, Tommy did think that Evan was trying his hand at flirting with him. He stared at Tommy enough. Still, he couldn’t be sure and he liked Evan too much to risk it and risk the friendship they were forming. If he was reading things wrong or if anything went badly, he didn’t think he’d be okay with losing Evan. 

Evan called their order in. 

“Twenty minutes,” Evan said. “I’m glad we can agree on something. Eddie is crazy and likes pineapple on pizza.” 

“That’s a choice,” Tommy said.

“It’s horrible is what it is,” Evan said with a shake of his head. 

Tommy took a few sips of his beer and smiled against the lip of the bottle. Evan took a sip of his own and then motioned for him to follow him further into the apartment towards the living room. 

“Uh, we could watch something? If you want?” Evan offered. 

Tommy would have done anything with him and to ease the awkward way that Evan reached for his remote, he grabbed it out of Evan’s hand. Evan gasped. 

“What is your favorite movie?” Tommy asked. 

He walked around Evan to sit on the couch. It felt firm but comfortable. Evan eased into sitting at his side. 

“Evan? Favorite movie?” 

“I really liked Star Wars,” Evan said, but he said it like a question. “What, uh, what’s yours?” 

“Love Actually,” Tommy said. 

“Never seen that,” Evan said. “Uh, I haven’t seen a lot of things. But we could watch that if you want? I mean, if it’s your favorite you like it so…”

Tommy let out a breath. This hadn’t been his aim in asking and yet, he didn’t hate the idea of sharing a movie he loved with him. 

“Okay,” Tommy said. “Just, uh, be aware we won’t be able to be friends if you don’t like this movie.” 

“Oh, that’s how it is?” Evan asked, settled further into the couch and brought himself closer to Tommy. 

Tommy busied himself figuring out Evan’s tv without any input from the man, but when he finally looked towards him he found a fond little smile and something like wonder in Evan’s eyes. 

[geneeste]

🎶 when you get this, put 5 songs you actually listen to, then publish. Send this ask to 10 of your followers (positivity is cool) 🎶

This is a fantastic ask, and because I love music so much I'm giving you way more than you asked for. XD (I used to do music dumps on LJ, boy I miss that.)

Here's my top five most played, according to iTunes:

Fortress by Bear's Den And a coward might call it a conscience / and a liar might call it the truth / nothing could ever make me more frightened / than the thought of hurting you / how could I hurt you?

This one because I listened to it nonstop while I was writing Reclaim (I really should have called it The Fortress Remix).

Which Witch by Florence + The Machine I'm not beaten by this yet / you can't tell me to regret / been in the dark since the day we met / fire, help me to forget

This is is just so good, reminds me of Sam/Jack, and is (along with two other songs on this list) seminal songs on my playlist for the sequel to A Goddamn Blaze in the Dark. (A lot of these are going to be about that series, because I'm trying desperately to finish writing it.)

Wild Roses by Of Monsters and Men A serpent on a bed of leaves / in the month of May / what do you want me to say? / you keep me still when all I feel / is an aimless direction / when I think I'm losin' connection / I see you

One of the seminal songs for the sequel to AGDBITD. Also just very good.

No Light, No Light by Florence + The Machine No light, no light / in your bright blue eyes / I never knew daylight could be so violent / a revelation in the light of day / you can't choose what stays and what fades away / and I'd do anything to make you stay

This one I was surprised by because I don't think I ever put it on specifically, so if it's played a lot it's just by chance. Having said that, it is on my playlist for the sequel to AGDBITD, my Sam/Jack playlist, and my Faves playlist.

If U Love Me Now by MUNA There's me in the corner / throwing a fit, making a mess of it / don't you love me now? / there's me under the table / hiding from my lovers and my allies / don't you love me now? / it's just a hypothesis or test / that I should not exist / don't you love me now? / there's me in the doorway telling you, please / you should just let me leave / if you love me now

Oof, this one is just pure Sam from AGDBITD. But like, later. You'll see.

These are the last five songs I added to my Sam/Jack playlist (which often doubles as my AGDBITD playlist when I don't want to include the 90s songs, LOL):

Face Down In The Moment by Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats You keep waiting on the night / you keep waiting on your pain / and every moment that you wait now / is a moment slipped away / I think you're gonna have to come out and face / all the fear you can't explain / and all your life, you've been face down / now it's time for you to see

Okay, so there are actually, in total, 3 sequels to AGDBITD and I'm working on them all simultaneously (because of course I am). This song reminds me deeply of the third sequel, for reasons I can't tell you. XD

God Needs The Devil by Jonah Kagen Mm, mm, I'm in love / in a nightmare, please don't wake me up / got a bad case of making bad love / it's who I am, not who I was / but that's life, boy, what can you do? / I need someone, and I need 'em soon / I called the doc and got new shoes / but all roads still lead back to you

Another one that reminds me of the last AGDBITD sequel. For reasons.

(midnight) by Lewis Watson We ran to the border line / where the northern lights flew over us / another cold midnight / but I could lay right here forever / and in distant skies / beyond the trees and rolling hills / we watched the city die / but I could lay right here forever

Just a good, solid Sam/Jack song.

Destroy Destroy Destroy by Transviolet I didn't come here to beg you for what is mine / gun to my head, we've been here a thousand times / and you're scared to death 'cause I'm seeing red / with eyes known to set fires / and I didn't come here to beg you for what is mine

This one reminds of the second sequel to AGDBITD. Again, for reasons. I'm so mean. It's also just a banger.

Your Design by Grace Mitchell Keep calm, color in the lines / no grey, only black and white / big eyes little appetite / long run on a short line / I've been pushed into overtime / it all turned on me on a dime / kind heart with a filthy mind / somebody tell me this is real life

I'm sorry to keep doing this to you, but it's a great song for the second AGDBITD sequel. And of course it's just a excellent song.

Finally, the last five songs I added to my Faves playlist:

Here & Now (Alternative Version) by clay pigeon I could have been your victory, I'll probably be your loss Could have been everything you wished I was not Or every grave detail running through your head Could have been that picture you keep above your bed But I'm here and now

I love a melancholy breakup song.

Heal by Sleeping At Last As I grow older, I hold tighter to a world hell-bent on change / I'd be lyin' if I told you that I wasn't afraid / in the currency of memory, nothing costs more than pain / but you remind me fourteen thousand days or so I'm still okay / you remind me that my body was born to heal / you remind me that my body was born to heal over time / you remind me that my body was born to heal before it dies / you remind me

In the grand tradition of Ryan O'Neal ripping one's heart from one's chest, putting it back better, and making it as though nothing happened, there's this song.

You (feat. Hermanos Gutiérrez) by RY X I woke up falling / and press into your side / your body's an ocean / pull me into your tides

RX Y is a really interesting band in that their songs are often more about the actual instrumentals than the lyrics. This is one of those.

Gone With Your Ghost by Black Match Did I make you happy / or was it pretend? / you know that you had me / but you jumped the fence / did I make you happy / or was it pretend? / 'cause all that we had just / slipped through my hands / gone with your ghost

Another fantastic breakup song. Also a good one for the third sequel to AGDBITD. Oops! Forget I said that.

Cover To Cover by Nathan Ball Take your time / turn back to the lie where I'm hoping to find you / if only to feel bad / there's no need to feel bad / see your eyes, two stars in the night / and my mind's taking over / time is a healer / this time it's hurting

Yet another fabulous breakup song. A companion to Gone With Your Ghost, if you will. Ahem.

[globaloppaaa]

ahhh i’d be happy to! thank you for sending in this request anon 😚

again this request was from my old account, im trying to answer as many as i can find!

tarae things ✧˖°🌷📎⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

ft. you hehe

๑ to start, taerae’s the kind of guy that is never late to respond to texts. he’ll leave his notifications AND his ringer on incase of emergency, but it doubles when you message him so he can respond to your thoughts right away.

๑ designated photographer 📸 can and will capture everyone’s best and worst moments. and if there’s a location he deems worthy, you better believe he’ll be stopping for half an hour until his photo storage is full.

๑ he’s such a gentleman URGHH, very joshua of seventeen-esque. he leaves quite the impression to everyone he meets but when he’s with you/meeting you for the first time he acts so suave, holding the door for you, pulling your chair out, or sending you a dapper smiles in between glances.

๑ on the topic of being a gentlemen, i feel like he’s crazy talented quite naturally (we already know this sof). he naturally adapts to hobbies extremely well.

๑ and if you’re terrible at cooking, don’t worry about it! because taerae can cook too. 😉

๑ he seems like such a momma’s boy, learned nothing but the best from her and it really shows with how gentle and detail-oriented he is around those he’s close with.

๑ remembers every little detail. that necklace you liked in a gift shop window? already packaged for the next upcoming holiday. lost your keys? he’ll specifically remind you that you placed them in one of the grocery bags on the way up to your home.

๑ don’t ask about phone numbers though, he can’t remember those for his life.

๑ the one thing tarae would actually forget is to write in names for peoples numbers. you have to force him to change your contact to “full name” 10 months in because he’d eventually think a scammer hacked his phone. (in conclusion, he’s blocked your number many times)

๑ pet names!! taerae absolutely adores the romantic kinds. baby, sweetheart, honey, but taerae prefers to say them only when he’s with you. Not that he’s embarrassed by it, he simply thinks it’s more meaningful if said in the comfort of your privacy.

๑ besides his glass-shattering pipes (which he has done before) he hums anywhere, at anytime. but not the loud annoying kind. more like the softer, prominent kind where eventually you can’t even hear yourself think.

↑ it’s also always those loveboat-type ballads from like the 70/80’s. he gets updated about current music trends months after they release but still prefers to hum melodies that might very well make you break down in tears.

๑ on the topic of music, you’ll never have to worry about finding new songs ever again, this guy is LOADED with spotify playlists that he’s just urging to send you. you’ll wake up to 8 new artists he followed yesterday… and then he’ll remember to say “oh, good morning sweetheart 😁”

๑ last random thought, i have a feeling he makes cute little animals with paper clips, it’s his go to hobby. and he’ll just leave them all around the house for you to find :)

check out my masterlist!

globaloppaaa© do not copy, modify, or repost my work without consent and permission

[oceane4loveu]

maintain a habit and have the trigger to make your dreams come true

I just finished the atomic habit book and I really learned a lot of things that I have incorporated into my routine and it works! Well I really had to force myself to maintain discipline but now I really like it. I went through several stages before really keeping my routine ☘︎

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

1- why do I procrastinate?

I really asked myself the question and realized that it was because I didn't really have a goal and I was afraid to step out of my comfort zone. So I took a sheet, I put on my good vibe playlist and I started to make a list of objectives and I chose 2 objectives from this list that I will try to complete in 1 month the brain has It takes 21 days, or 3 weeks of application, for a habit to become automatic. So I chose the simplest goals to achieve like doing 1 hour of pilates every morning and listening to a podcast every day.

2-Build good habits

according to the book atomic habit to build a good habit you must:

☆ Make it obvious: an example I want to start pilate, to really get started I put my sports clothes right in front of my bed so when I wake up I know I have to do pilate and I also put on a reminder on my phone

★ Make it attractive: when I start my pilates I put on my most beautiful pilates outfit, I put on some relaxing music, I make this moment a moment of well-being.

☆ Make it easy: I started with 5 min of pilate first for my body to get used to it and started increasing the minutes on other days.

★ Make it satisfying: when I finish my pilates I make myself my favorite drink to reward myself even if I don't see the results yet and I reward myself for the effort.

3-how to maintain a habit

the big technique to get there is to stick the new habit to an old habit an example you want to read in the morning, every time you take the bus you read or every time you finish your sport you read for people who don't No self-discipline will be effective but you have to force yourself to stick to it. Also, you have to have goals that resonate with you, goals that you really want to do, not because others are doing it. start your day with the tasks that are the most complicated and don't try to postpone them until the end of the day, try to accomplish all your objectives for the day in the morning.

4-how to have the trigger to make this dream life come true

Well this step is really good It’s thanks to her that I started to improve my daily life.

࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ Visualization: to start, lie down in your bed and put on some meditation music or music that relaxes you, take the time to really relax. then you will close your eyes and imagine a heavenly place where you feel good, it can be a garden, an island or even your room whatever you want and you will imagine several little lights. These lights there are some that are close to you and others that are far from you, there are small ones, some medium ones and further away there is the biggest light. what I want you to know understand is that all these lights represent all your desires and your goals. at the beginning I know that you are going to try to catch all his desires because you want to try to realize them all at the same time when that's not it. we think that if we don't do it now we will never do it which is not true. If you really want something, not because you saw it in someone else or out of jealousy, just know that it's already yours. Now what to do when we are used to all these lights from now on you will start to enter the lights which are closest to you All these lights are connected together so simple example: Imagine you are in a game and there has flags when you go past flag A to reach flag B and the Monster attacks you and you lose your life you will not necessarily return to flag A but to flag B because you arrived there so when you choose a light which is closest to you it will help you project yourself towards light B which will project you towards your dream life which is the very great light that is why we say that you have to be patient and what you have to understand is that all the light is yours and no one else's.

࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ how to choose choose the right light: it's simply the light closest to you. This light for example can represent making your bed every morning. When I say that I know that you are telling yourself that making your bed every morning is too simple but making your bed every morning requires discipline, the fact of maintaining this action will Allow you to learn to trust yourself like that when you are faced with a greater objective you will tell yourself if I have succeeded in an objective like making my bed every morning well it is because I can succeed in this new objective.

࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ learn to do with the means you have: you are going to take a paper and write down everything you want to accomplish in your life and you are going to look in your notes and choose 1 or 2 things that can be achievable now. you are not you don't have to have everything now to start the things that make you dream, learn to do it with the means you have, for example I wanted to get back into pilates but I found as an excuse the fact that I didn't yet have my computer so I couldn't start yet, I continued like that for weeks then I got fed up so I took my phone I went into YouTube I looked for a pilate video and I started, I did it with the means I had. Everything doesn't have to be perfect just do it.

So these are all the things that I have learned and applied in my life. I still continue to learn new things every day and I really try to see what works for me. I hope you enjoyed. 🐾

༝༚༝༚océane

[snootlestheangel]

*happy flapping while tearing up* I JUST HAD THE CUTEST FUCKING IDEA

@stuffireadandenjoy some To Love, To Let Go things

First, the actual idea and then it turns into just general thoughts.

Gaz who unironically still listens to My Chemical Romance because, sue him they made good music, okay??

Sometime after she gets used to the boys, Bailey ends up getting babysat by Gaz while Price and Nik enjoy a date night. Gaz has introduced Bailey to his favorite music, and it so happens that MCR kind of dominates that playlist.

She ends up really liking them, and they have little dance parties when he's watching her.

But there's one of their songs she ends up listening to on her own. Famous Last Words simply cause it's an absolute banger but also cause the one line "I am not afraid to keep on living"

Bailey who has spent the better part of the last year of her life terrified and struggling with recovering from some really traumatic things. Bailey who's been through so much and lost everything. Bailey who ends up with a loving family, with a new life that coddles her so she can keep being a kid rather than being forced to grow up way too fast.

Bailey who isn't afraid to keep being a silly kid cause isn't that what she is? Bailey who isn't afraid of the dark anymore. Bailey who isn't afraid to ask for help and to be herself.

She and Gaz just having an absolute blast whenever he's the one "babysitting" her. They put on so many different playlists. There's the one with mostly MCR, there's the early 2000s dance/party music. There's a country playlist put together mostly by Bailey that Gaz secretly enjoys (if only because she knows all the words to every song and gets really into singing along)

Price and Nik coming home to the two of them crashed on the couch, both fast asleep. Price having to take a moment after carrying Bailey to her bed because "when did she get so big?" Price realizing she's finally happy and healthy and he can partially thank his boys.

He can thank his boys because they took their time to help her see and experience good things in life.

Ghost who took the time to sit with her and listen to her special interests. Ghost who took the time to help her research things she's interested in because he remembers a time in his life that any of his interests were stomped under a boot. Ghost who takes the time to teach her important things, like how to defend herself and what to do in certain emergency situations. Ghost who teaches her little things too, like how to sew a button onto a shirt. Ghost who sees a brilliant kid and doesn't want her to be limited. Ghost who sees a broken kid with so much potential and desperately trying to boost her. He's too blinded by the things he saw in Tommy, but it works out. Ghost who wants her safe but knows she's not the same anymore. Ghost who wants her to use what she learns to her advantage.

Soap who took the time to help her confidence. Soap who took the time to find different diets/meal plans she could try to gain some weight back while also keeping her sensory things in mind. Soap who doesn't let her feel guilty for avoiding certain foods because she has a sensory aversion to them. Soap who took the time to remind her of how beautiful her smile is. Soap who took the time to help her care for her hair after months of not being properly cared for. Soap who has thick hair himself and grew up in a family of women that had long, wavy, thick hair. Soap teaching her how to french braid and not letting her be embarrassed for not knowing how. Soap who helped her become confident in her own skin because he remembers a time when he wasn't and how miserable life was then.

Gaz who took the time to show her joy. Gaz who took the time to remind her of the little things. Little things like how a good song can make your day just a bit better. Gaz who helped her weaponize her intelligence (Gaz teaching her how to be sassy basically). Gaz who helped her find peace with the things she lost by helping her see the things she's gained. Gaz being there to remind her that, yes this is cheesy but rainbows look best after a thunderstorm, don't they? Gaz who helped her bring elements of her life before The Incident into her life now. Gaz who is there to help her look back on her family she lost and smile, because while she mourns, they still loved her. She wouldn't be there if it hadn't been for them, and there's beauty in that.

Anyways, now that I've made us both cry, I'm gonna work on typing up actual parts of To Love, To Let Go cause it's actually consuming my soul at this point.

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

i drew Diana. not quite sure how i feel about it but oh well.

goth girls, y'know.

since I've made aaron's fur pattern white, i thought his goth girlfriend deserved the red and black fur pattern he had.

some other Diana hcs:

she can sing really well, but avoids it unless its for a gig. She doesn't want to wreck her voice. She has a very soft singing voice too, so thankfully it's not too much on her vocal cords 80% of the time. But you can never be too safe. She will hum along to music occasionally.

I have lore about a dog-goth style in my rewrite which Diana slowly starts getting more interested in towards the end of college, though he's more vamp-goth before that. I could get into the Dog-Goth of my rewrite but oh you don't want me to. Because then I'd have to get into the werewolf punk scene i made up in my head.

She's always been very slight, but she's trying to bulk up some muscle mass. She's also quite tall ( about 6'3) but is the smallest in her band. Since they're all werewolves. And werewolves can casually be like 6'5 and no one bats an eye at that.

He grew up with punk parents, and therefore punk ideology. They were very supportive of him, and so he had a pretty nice upbringing.

She speaks quite monotone in her day-to-day life (though her singing is quite expressive). and so her and Aaron are matchy matchy with that. Autism-bonding and all.

He does not dress up every day. He usually slaps on some eyeliner, maybe some light makeup, and leaves it at that. and just throws on a nice shirt and skirt. He's got no time to make himself look fancy if he's tryna get through college with any shred of sanity left.

She shaved the tails of her eyebrows off. which are why her eyebrow piercings are BELOW her eyebrow (which she draws on). She carries around tweezers to pluck the hair that grows back in when she's bored in her lectures. Or in a dull conversation.

He's transfem, and uses he/her pronouns. People tend to over-correct and only use she/her pronouns for him but nah. BOTH. Obviously only using one or another in a conversation is fine. But only one for like ever? Nah. Nah.

I'm dianron dirt till i die. She occasionally goes through his spotify to judge the music he has on there, or 'make it good'. She put one of her band's songs on his longest playlist and he didn't realise until a few months after they broke up. He still listens to it after because like... Di can sing, y'know.

He self-labels as Queer, sexuality-wise.

She wears platform boots to feel taller. Especially when with Aaron, since it's embarrassing to be rocking around with a human that's taller than her. (She knows he's a werewolf, she just isn't a total dickhead and lets everyone else continue thinking he's a werewolf). He's still taller.

He met Ken when he caught Ken smoking weed in their highschool bathroom. They ended up sharing and talking about cryptids for the whole next period.

Ken is also on the band. He plays drums. Diana once broke his drumsticks because he wouldn't stop hitting everyone like they were drums. She bought him new ones for his birthday because she felt bad.

Him and Blaze are cousins. Their mothers are sisters.

[ireneispunk]

eddie headcannons for living in present day

a few headcannons i thought of for being eddie's partner in the present day! these are my own thoughts, if you think of any others feel free to add them to the comments!

these are writted with eddie having a femme partner, but no pronouns are used so anyone can enjoy!

content warnings: lots of fluff, no smut, semi implied though(?), occasional use of y/n

would 100% play world of warcraft, complains about how expensive it is but still never lets his subscription run out every month 

would drag you into every warhammer store looking for figurines for d&d 

IS a reddit user but purely for d&d map inspiration and r/babygoats 

still has the exact same music taste and says “back in my day we listened to-"

also claims to hate nu metal but sneaks in an occasional deftones song

hairstyle would be really similar but probably more of a long wolf cut to modernise it

loves the cinema for new movies but pirates everything else 

corroded coffin is more successful than it was in the 80s, but they’re still not ‘famous’

makes youtube videos with tutorials on how to play songs on guitar and gets 10 views per video. he still enjoys it anyway 

still chooses to pick you wildflowers instead of grocery store ones because he thinks their more special (even if they’re from rich peoples lawns)

still deals but only to a select few and close friends 

goes to as many metal shows as he can; whether it’s for his favourite band or an up and comer he’s never heard of 

he has just 3 spotify playlists, 1 is metal and the other is more chilled out rock. the third is music he knows you likes that he’s sure to put on when you’re over (also curses out the spotify adverts but refuses to pay for it)

D&D is still one of his favourite hobbies of course. he grew up playing in the only D&D shop near hawkins called ‘the forge’ his charisma made him great friends amongst the other players there and soon enough after her had a few campaigns under his belt, it was his turn to DM 

is honestly a bit of a fussy eater, but anything you order or make that he hasn’t tried yet he always asks to try and realises he likes a lot more than he thought 

would have a lot more tattoos and would volunteer as a practice sheet for tattoo apprentice friends 

uses incense in his room, he says it’s to mask the weed smell but you’d noticed him deeply sniffing his favourite scents in the store

likes his cheap cologne, and loves it when he smells it on you the next morning 

facetiming you when he sees a cool rock/tree/dog/straycat/funny looking cloud, mainly to see your face scrunch up into a laugh at the ridiculous thing he’s called you for

uses the same password for everything 

has maybe 4 additional apps on his phone to the default ones. his favourite would be locket widget so you “have to see my face no matter where you look.”

does have social media but definitely posts annually and it’s either you, corroded coffin or some swanky new dice

only follows you and matthew mercer on social media too

likes natures documentaries and sniffles a lot when the buffalo gets eaten by lions, and when the lions DONT  get any buffalo to eat

loves getting you small inexpensive gifts, your favourite chocolate or drink, a little trinket for your bedside table, mostly cards with two animals in love on it 

laying inbetween his legs with your back against his chest as he teaches you how to roll his cigarettes, they were terrible of course but he loved watching your brows furrowed in concerntration smacking his hand away any time he tried to help

also! would use menthol filters for his cigarettes ever since you mentioned how much you love the minty tobacco taste left on his lips, “doubles up as a breath mint too!” eddie would wink at you. 

he wasn’t very good at cooking but he loved helping you and doesn’t want you to feel pressured to cook for him. takes any chance he can to make you food he knows how to make, usually toast and fruit juice in bed served with a kiss

LOVES makeup shopping with you, no matter your style of makeup alternative or not, he’s so intrigued about the different kinds and always wants to treat you. “$10 for a skinny crayon? that’s daylight robbery!”. he still begged you later that day to turn him into gene simmons 

still got weird stares out in public even in our time but he thrived whenever you visited bigger cities with more diversity

playing any kind of multiplayer game together. left 4 dead 2, borderlands, halo, divinity 2; eddie didn’t care what it was as long as he could spend the time with you (as long as you promised not to tell people he married harvey playing stardew valley)

also! screaming and swearing and crying of laughter playing overcooked, resulting in lots of playful fights and kisses 

watching the whole lord of the rings trilogy extended cut in one session, “ed’s it’s NINE hours, you said it was only 3 films!” you huffed looking at the box set his uncle had bought him years ago. “nine hours that will change the rest of your life y/n.” he smiled dramatically inserting the dvd. he was right of course 9 hours later there you were gripping eddies hand so hard as tears burned into the corners of your eyes. eddie spent the last 9 hours glancing between the action of the movie darting back to your face to enjoy your reaction, ‘my friends, you bow to no-one’ aaragon announced on the tv, you clenched your eyes shut as tears flooded down your cheeks and a quiet sob escaped your lips. eddie whipped his head to yours concern written all over his face, cupping your cheep with his large ringed hand. “everyone bowed for THEM, the HOBBITS eddie!” you choked as the soft violin music playinf already felt nostalgic. eddie pulled you close, nose bumping against yours and wipes away your tears with his thumb and pressing kisses to your reddened cheeks. “i told you doll, life changing” he sighed, knowing full well he could shed a tear at how involved with his favourite series you were. 

if you were ever doing anything stood up eddie would always come up behind you and snake his arms around your waist and give your butt a small squeeze with both of his hands, you’d squeak in surprise every time before leaning back into eddie as he held you. you walked out of yours and eddies room one morning to see him facing away from you at the kitchen counter wearing nothing butt black boxer shorts as he poured some juice. you sneaked as best you could on your creaky floorboards before reaching each hand out onto eddies butt and give it a big squeeze. he let out a high pitch ‘EEEHH’ as you did spilling some apple juice onto the counter before looking out you with a false scowl. “only i get to do that.” he huffed pretending he didn’t enjoy it whilst he pale cheeks simultaneously tinted a shade of pink. 

this! evolved into giving each other a light smack on the butt whenever you walked past each other, your hands lingered a little longer on him when he wore his jeans because wow, did he look good in them and vice versa when you wore… well pretty much anything -more often than not this leading to more heavy petting-

pda kinda guy, but more so handholding, having an arm over your shoulder, rubbing his hands up and down yours arms aimlessly, kissing you on the cheek and dramatically kissing your knuckles and bowing, making your cheeks flare up

eddie giving you driving lessons even though he’s not a great driver himself

if people don't hate this i might make a part 2 if i come up with more ideas + plus any that others suggest

♡ irene

[musicalmoritz]

On average how long does it take you to write a fic? I see you post pretty often on ao3 so I was just wondering if you had any tips to write faster? you make it seem so effortless lol/pos

I must confess, I’ve been procrastinating on finishing a fic for a few weeks now…nonetheless I do have some tips!

So the brutal truth here is that when I really want to get something written I don’t sleep LMAO. Usually I’ll stay up until 4:00 AM writing, but I haven’t been able to do that lately because I’ve been trying to prioritize a healthy sleep schedule. It’s better to start writing early so you don’t stay up half the night, that can actually make things more difficult as after a certain hour your brain will just shut off (at least that’s what happens for me)

The length it takes me to write a fic depends on the type of fic, if it’s 3-4K I can usually knock it out in a day or two, unless I’ve been putting it off. If it’s 9-12k it takes me a couple of days, though I have written fics that length in one sitting before. Again, I do crazy work between the hours of 8:00 PM and 4:00 AM. If it’s anything near 20k it usually takes me a few months, especially if I have a lot going on irl at the time. My longest fic was 52k and I pretty much wrote that through the winter. Right now I’m working on one that’s meant to end at around 15k and I already have 12k of it written, but I ramble so it might come out a bit longer

Okay now onto actual productive tips. In my experience, the best way to write a lot is literally just to spill all your thoughts onto the page. Yap like your life depends on it. If I’m writing the character experiencing something I have a lot of opinions on, I’ll spend several paragraphs just talking about that. Some of my best and longest fics come from me straight up venting into a Google Doc. It’s like a diary except no one can tell how much is the character’s pov and how much is me working out my own problems. If you think you ranted too much, you can always go back and delete some later

It’s also good to try and always be writing. One of my Mitsukou fics was written almost entirely between breaks at work. I bring my computer with me if I’m going somewhere over night. I’ll write while I’m waiting for a class to start, and in between classes- especially if I have a long break. I write a paragraph or two on the toilet sometimes. And also be thinking about the characters a lot, I’m hyperfixated on tbhk rn so these little losers are always on my mind; so when I sit down to write, I’ve already written most of the fic in my head. Share your own headcanons and analysis, people love reading that stuff. Don’t be afraid to get creative and take a few liberties, most readers are subconsciously longing for new things in their fics

Also don’t stress yourself out too much about what you post! Fanfic is best when it’s written for your own enjoyment above anyone else’s. Sometimes I get too caught up in what other people will think of my fics and forget I have total control over everything I write. If you worry too much about making your work “perfect,” you’ll never want to write. Make yourself your main target audience, it makes the process way more fun

I hope some of this helped you!! Thank you for your ask, this gave me the motivation to work on my wip. I’m also currently writing fics for every day of Aoinene Week so it’s been busy. A good fic playlist also helps, it helps you better envision the world you’re writing. Recently I’ve been basing my fics off specific music artists which gets me really invested. Happy writing :)

[skruzdelynas]

What song makes you feel better?

What is your go to comfort show?

Reading or writing? Why?

Whats your favorite feeling?

How do you like to take care of yourself?

What’s your favorite candle scent?

Who do you feel most like yourself around?

Whats a fabric/texture that’s nostalgic for you?

Best childhood moment?

When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? (or just felt really good afterwards)

Do you have a comfort item? Tell us about it!

What calms you down?

Bath or shower to relax?

Whats something upcoming that you’re excited for?

Comfort food?

What’s something you want to create soon?

How do you feel best loved?

What age in life do you think you’ll feel most yourself at?

Have you ever written or received a love letter?

Tell us about a memory you hold close to your heart.

Tea, Coffee, or hot cocoa?

Name of your favorite playlist?

Have you ever received flowers?

Who is your bestfriend?

If your soul was a color, what would it be?

If you could live anywhere with anyone you want, where would it be and who would you bring?

Do you like to garden? Have you ever grown something?

What are you proudest of?

Are you a kind person?

What do your hobbies look like?

1. Every song can make me feel better, hmm but I would say maybe Diabarha - Crazy Beauties or Nuo tilto - kriupis, enu

2. I don't watch shows

3. Writing - I like to write down my thoughts

4. Being excited because of others and feeling proud for understanding a mathematical proof or understanding a song in a foreign language

5. I like to give my body vitamins, hydrate, take my creme, change into fresh clothes

6. Hmm I don't have any

7. Probably myself

8. Oh I don't think I have any

9. Collecting chestnuts

10. Today some hours ago

11. I don't really have one, but maybe my two stuffed animals?

12. Excersise, scents

13. Shower - I don't like bats because I don't want to be alone in silence with my thougths. And it's boring

14. The next week! I'll have to get some things in my hometown done and will see (more or less) how someone will get a new piercing

15. I don't have any

16. Hmm I would like to redraw some old characters

17. Genuine interest, doing things together, hugs

18. I really don't know, maybe soon?

19. Never

20. I remember the excitement of creating new characters with some old friends and writing stories for them. The time I traveled to a city to go to a very good piercing studio. The one time I hugged and kissed a person the first time we met after writing and getting to know each other some months.

21. Tea! (Especially peach, earl grey and green tea)

22. Microtonal music playlist

23. Never, also I don't like receiving flowers

24. I don't know what counts as "best" but I have two people I really like

25. Hmm yellow?

26. Germany (I don't like to move to a foreign place), with the people I'm close to

27. Not really, I only as a child managed growing a bean for a school project

28. That I learned Lithuanian and drawing by myself

29. It really depends. I am very irritable when I'm with my family so I'm probably not always so kind. I try my best and it is way easier with friends, but I'm not 100% kind I think?

30. A lot of staring at my laptop, paper, pencils, books