#and also thank you persona 3 for making me cry

[lu-is-not-ok]

Hello there! My friend introduced me to the Daiyu/Baoyu theory recently and I repaid them by immediately becoming crazy about Soda Hong Lu. Have you looked at Soda Hong Lu in the lens of this theory? Because half joking about this:

1. It is the only EGO that I can recall that features a transformation type sequence

2. In the corrosion, two shrimps attempt to check on the hallucinating Hong Lu/Body; he destroys them in the frenzy

3. It is an EGO that Hong Lu strangely has no Identities for in regards to archetype, Poise, and is one of the EGO for which Hong Lu has a dull eye. (Next Walpur might outdate this one but still squinting at it)

4. It is an Envy EGO, the sin associated with. Yknow.

5. In the pull animation, a shrimp is inexplicably focused on, crying from the same side Hong Lu's jade eye is on.

Idk if this is totally out of the ballpark here, but I'm seeing Soda as an EGO that represents Daiyu being dragged onto the 'boat', that being the family, as Baoyu guiltily observes, barely keeping it together under the idea that the 'boat' is the "better life" as seen on the log for Wellcheers in LCorp. They want to be able to pretend that the transformation is something that'll bring them fortune, just another process in the façade, but as the corrosion shows, one slip will doom them into inconsolable panic. It is an EGO that demands you provide to the group, but it is hanging by a thread. Do you see my logic. Shrimp Jia Family.

So, I'm gonna put it this way.

The things you pointed out about Soda? Huge. Like, they do definitely point towards something and I have my own interpretation of them to share.

Your interpretation of the EGO... I feel like it misses the mark a bit, but that's okay, because it very much can still be about the Two in One Daiyu Baoyu of it all in a way, thanks to the things you pointed out.

Let me explain.

Soda, both for Ryoshu and Hong Lu, is symbolic for their escapism, while also having some major themes of Reality/Fiction.

To briefly show what I mean by explaining Ryoshu's Soda - her form of escapism is that of indulging in the cruel Reality. Note how her Soda focuses on the Wellcheers drink itself - she uses the soda itself to attack, and in the corrosion she turns into the soda as well. Her EGO focuses on the cruel Reality that Wellcheers is a soda company that only cares about people consuming their product, she literally forces her target to drink it in her Awakening animation. Her Corrosion then focuses on the Fictionalization of that Reality, on the rumors that the soda can lead you to wake up on a ship in the middle of an ocean.

This isn't a Ryoshu post though, so if any Ryoshu scholars want to add onto this with their own interpretation of how that connects to Ryoshu's art and how she wishes to reflect reality in all its cruelty, be my guests.

Now, back to Hong Lu's Soda - for him, escapism is the reverse. He indulges in Fiction, his EGO reflecting the life shown in hypothetical Wellcheers' advertisements, happily fishing for shrimp among prawn on a ship in the middle of an ocean, surrounded by seagulls. Then, his Corrosion is the Realization of that Fiction, of what it would be like to actually live on a ship like that, having to hear seagulls scream and run away from you.

And this is where the details you pointed out come in. Because they made me realize something.

The 'Fiction' being symbolized by Soda? It's Hong Lu's current life as 'Hong Lu'.

Here's the thing about the Daiyu Baoyu theory - one of its many parts is that Hong Lu as a person does not exist. 'Hong Lu' is a fake persona. He's not a real person with an actual history, it's a character made up and played by Baoyu to cope with being forced to override Daiyu.

After all, it's not until after Canto 4, where Hong Lu becomes aware of Yi Sang's attempts of calling for help, that he starts actually saying concerning things. Until then he's tried his fucking hardest to make it seem like his homelife is as uneventful as a sheltered rich kid's homelife could be, with the anecdotes only getting more and more actually fucked up when it became clear his turn drew closer. Perhaps because that's what Hong Lu as an act was originally supposed to be - a rich kid like Baoyu but without his baggage, without his trauma. Until he started getting desperate and realizing that he too needs help, but couldn't ask directly without revealing he'd been lying this whole time, so instead he's sprinkling in more and more concerning things hoping Someone Will Get The Hint.

That little tangent aside, I believe this is what the magical girl transformation in the Awakening is meant to symbolize - Baoyu indulging in the Fiction of his new made up persona that is Hong Lu. After all, if you think about it, isn't it a common trope in magical girl shows for the girls to use pseudonyms and keep their true identities secret while transformed? Isn't that exactly what Baoyu is doing while he's acting as Hong Lu?

With that in mind, the prawn that gets focused on in the acquisition animation, the one randomly crying out of the equivalent of Hong Lu's jade eye, could be a little reference to the fact that under the act Baoyu is Fucking Miserable.

And then there's the matter of the ship. If the transformation sequence is a reflection of Baoyu becoming Hong Lu, then what is the ship about?

...It's the bus. The ship is Limbus Company's Bus.

Soda as an E.G.O symbolizes Baoyu's escapism via becoming Hong Lu aboard Limbus Company's Bus, getting carried around to "fish for shrimp" or perhaps hunt for Boughs.

Then there's the Corrosion. The seagulls screaming and crying all around him. The genuine anxiety and panic in his voice (listen to the original file for the voiceline without the effects if you can btw, it's so well acted - you can find it in the Organized Assets drive). The way others try to check up on him and he instead lashes out at them. How the animation seems to purposefully hide the actual enemies being hit so that it seems on first glance like the only things he's attacking are fellow prawn.

Ya'll... this could be another Distortion foreshadowing. Think about it. The realization that his escapist Fiction isn't enough, that the horrible reality he's living in has started to poke through and scream at him and cry at him. And the resulting breakdown causing him to lash out indiscriminately. ...Doesn't that sound like something that could happen with a Distortion?

Alternately, it could simply be a way to show in general what would happen once the act is stripped from Hong Lu. The fear, the panic. The pushing others away. A representation of someone whose escapism is a defense mechanism, and who, upon being stripped of it, cannot handle reality.

So, sorry to say Shrimp Jia Family is likely not the case. Thankfully, we can have the alternative of Shrimp Sinners.

On the other hand, here's a fun semi-related fun fact: the Sin Affinities of the Soda EGOs could in part be references to the two work types you can perform on the Abno to get the grape soda! Gloom representing Repression work, and Envy representing Attachment work. Neat, huh?

[melodrangea]

halloween never really ends for me so could i request maka, soul, and dtk with a vampire s/o? thank you :>

absolutely my dear, all reign halloween!

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Soul Eater Characters with a Vampire S/O

Soul "Eater" Evans

-would think it's mad cool, only adding to his 'cool persona'

-I mean a cool guy like him should have a cool S/O too

-only thing that would worry him is the whole "drinking blood" thing

-but once you explain that you usually only get blood from vendors (like Sarah in My Babysitter's a Vampire) or from bad people you fight (technically kishin souls still have human blood I think)

-Soul absolutely love your sharper vampire teeth, he has pretty sharp teeth too so he thinks it's fun that you two match

(plus he thinks it's hot to leave bite marks on him and the same for you)

-wouldn't let you drink his blood if you needed too out of fear for his lack blood spreading but he will either find someone else to help you or figure something else out

-do not walk on the ceiling around this man, he will scream and cry

-only thing he isn't a fan of is the whole 'never sleeping' part, like Soul needs sleepy cuddles to function, so you're being dragged whether it's you staring at the ceiling at night or not

-overall 8/10; isn't really bothered but it's not like he absolutely adores for the sake of being a vampire, he just likes you for you

Maka Albarn

-oh ho ho she thinks you're hot

-if you have the stereotypical "vamp goth" fashion style, she will do anything you ever ask of her

-she will be staring at you with red tinted heart glasses

-(and don't even get me started on when you bit her lip with your vamp teeth while making out)

-does find you being a vampire very interesting and will often ask you a lot of questions about what it's like

-it has crossed her mind more than once that you will outlive her by a long while but you always just kiss her until she forgets; deciding to save that issue for a later time

-she doesn't mind a lot of the you being a vampire quirks

-like you'll be climbing the wall and she'll just hand you a duster

"can you get that spot in the corner for me babe?"

-would probably be the only one on the list to let you drink her blood if you needed to

-but would also offer you other options and solutions first(let's be honest she has you on a schedule so you know when you need to feed so situations like that don't happen)

-Maka often stays up fairly late studying so she likes that you don't really sleep so you can keep her company

-overall: 11/10; Maka loves you so much and would do anythgin for you, please just cuddle this poor thing

Death the Kid

-probably the most apprehensive about you being a vampire out of the three

-once you get into a relationship he will actually learn to appreciate it

-I headcannon that as a grim reaper Kid doesn't really sleep much either, maybe a few hours but he doesn't need more than that

-so you both will be able to spend time with each other during the night when most are asleep <3

-will not under any circumstance let you drink his blood, as much as he wants to help you, there is no way to make the bite marks even on both sides of his neck or both wrists etc...

-but he will personally purchase blood from a blood bank or pay someone to regularly donate for you (rich boy privileges)

-another one to have a calendar or schedule to make sure you get the blood you need but will be less obvious about it then Maka though, would probably just make a light handed comment

"it's been a few days do you think you will need blood soon?"

-Kid will also be so happy that you're a vampire for the same reason Maka is worried, you will live a lot longer than a normal human being

-when Kid takes over as Lord death he will be semi immortal so he's so thankful that you will live just about as long as he will

-the rest of you being a vampire...not so much unfortunately

-like you will terrify him to his soul if you walk onn a wall

-and heavens forbid if your fangs aren't symmetrical

-but just love on him until he forgets about whatever he's rambling about and you're fine

-would be another to appreciate goth fashion, he would get you two matching outfits as your styles are similar <3

overall 9/10; I cannot think of a better part for Kid than an immortal being like himself, you guys will get to spend the better part of a thousand years with each other <3

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that's all my loves!

hope you enjoyed anon

-Melodrangea <3

[sea-of-dust]

Phantom theif boys x GN! Reader

Dating headcannons!

N: Adding comfort headcannons to knock two asks in one stone, they got changed to just comforting headcannons mostly. Ur not escaping pastel*pallette with this.

He's ready to fully wake up as soon as he hears your voice downstairs or just your footsteps. Morgana is not a fan of suddenly feeling his leg pulled out of bed.

Super ready to tease you. The guys smiling hard before he responds with something stupid. "I dare you" trying to hold off his chucking, he places his hand ontop of yours and spins you, stopping when you face him. "Are you a cheeseburger?" "no"

Let's you brush his hair, in fact you should. Curls are hard, ya know. His wrist can use a break, plus you're the one brushing it he sees it as a win. Ignoring the times you decided to give him pigtails

He can be super romantic at times, especially the most random, "I'm sorry I took so long, your beauty distracted me" he smirked twiddling a bit of his hair, you sigh, after a pause beginning to chuckle "I don't like you" "you love me" kissing your cheek he goes behind the counter "anything you wanna eat?"

He's always gonna be there to comfort you. Holding you close as you cry into his chest over something that had been bothering you, hearing you out while he cooks or staying by your side while you rant. "And then she was like," Oh well you need to go to extra help TO HELL WITH THAT!" You rub your temple "sorry she's just been getting on my nerves" "have you tried dropping or switching classes?" "She would reject the request everytime" you'd wonder why she suddenly accepted the following day. Maybe she finally thought you were just bad at chemistry

Will tell you he's a phantom theif trying to rizz you up. "So like we use these things called personas to fight these shadows" "woah, that's cool, Ryuji." You didn't believe him, but you let him cook, he's trying his best

Embodiment of the YIPPE sound. He loves seeing you. Could be walking to class, and he'd stop midway. "Yo!" "Hey Ryuji" great now he's gonna repeat that 3 more times a day, won't even start a conversation, sometimes, just likes hearing you say hi to him

He's super cuddly when sleepy. "Where are you going" "I told you I'm going home" "nooo" he wraps his arms around your waist "you aren't allowed to leave" trying to slip out he tightens his grip. You had to call your parents to tell them you had no choice but to stay longer

He'd get so excited when anything sport related comes along. "I wanna watch the track team compete this weekend. You should come" "do you need me to bring snacks?" "You bring them every time, though! I'll bring them this time" He'd get super hyped up about someone from the school taking the lead he almost fell off the bleachers at times.

He would buy you snacks, and you two would talk about it on a bench. "He's so annoyingggg" "I know, right!" "Like he can't shut up everything's quiet and this mf 'I HAVE A BUISNESS' shut up" "like at the end of the day he's still an incel" "EXACTLY" you two would end up ranting with eatchother so much you end up calming eatchother down, this would also translate into you just being too sad to even make funny comments. "He's just so draining, kinda makes me wish someone just told him to be quiet" "for real I almost cried at his voice" "it's too squeaky right" "totally" laying your head on his lap you look up at him just thinking. "You're staring into my soul here." he strokes your hair with a nervous expression "good" In the end, he still comforts you the same way

"Oh, it's you" turned to "it's you.." REAL quick, as soon as you started dating, he got shy

He's gonna ask you to help him with art. "Y/n do you mind posing?" "With what?" "These live lobsters I found" ".... no thank you" "but!" "I'm gonna buy you those little wooden dolls just for that" "you're better than any piece of wood!" It turns more into a praise sesson he forgets about the lobsters he's basically keeping as pets at this point

You tried to teach him how to cook, or atlesst follow the recipe. "OK so we have the custard" you grab his hand, holding it up. "Don't use that we need it for later." "My Appologies" "it's alright it's your first time making this" He's fine the first time but gets way better with practice. He'd make you jealous with how nice he'd make his food look

Tried pick up lines they were good, but the execution could use work. "Y/n! Do you have a map? " "For what?" He pauses, looking down as if thinking for the next line "because i can't help but get lost in your eyes" you smirk, watching him get more bashful than you from his own line. "Are you a painting?" You cup his face making him look at you "because I can't take my eyes off you"

He isn't very good in this field...but he has spirit! You'd sigh while watching him paint after a few eye rolls, vacant stares,leaning on him. He's gonna sense it even if you don't do all that. "Is there something on your mind?" You look down to his paints before answering "a friend of mine moved away, and I found out recently she used to steal stuff from others" crossing your arms you continue "I kinda get why some of my stuff went missing now but just to think" "that does seem rather unfortunate" "she's lucky the stuff she took was all under 10 bucks or I would have asked the phantom theives to do something" he pauses his brush for a secound before continuing on "via the website?" "Yea! They'll probably handle her if it genuinely gets outta hand" he smiles as he puts down his paint and brush. "How about we go for a walk for you to let out some steam?" "sounds great"

"I'm alone. Would you like to join me?" "Do you realize how that sounds?" "Do you realize how dirty your mind is?"

He'll be resistant to cuddling at first but then slowly realize he likes it. Won't ask for it tho but he will be a little peeved when they aren't given. Subconsciously learn the way he stares at your arms, how he grips his own, and the way he tries to get a bit closer to you, you've learned the secrets to a touch starved akechi

Would be a bit annoyed when you bring up another dude. "And then Ryuji was shaking the vending machine and the guard thought we were trying to steal snacks" "I see" "I ended up getting em though" "mhm" "you're so aggressively disinterested" "yes I am" You pause before letting the smirk take over your face "so then akechi rubbed my face and asked for a kiss" "I should" he stops typing to press his lips softly on your cheek.

He'd take you everywhere with him. Not a choice, it's only when he's at his job that he's away from you, everywhere else? Same class right next to you. Eating lunch with you, would ask you to play darts with him after school. He'd wonder why you'd look so tired when you two finally got home after school, atleast he helps with homework.

"Akechi" you move hair from his face. "What is it?" You continue touching his face as he watches as your hands move around his face. "Is there something on your mind" "is it that obvious" you pull your hand away, but he takes his into yours. There's a short pause before you decide to speak again. "A person close to me stopped coming to school after an argument we had. I'm pretty worried" "you didn't try contacting them?" "I have, but I think they'll just get more annoyed" you sigh "I just don't know what to do" "let them have their momment they'll contact you when they feel like it, in the meantime" he covers you in the blanket he shared with you momments ago "you could stay here until it leaves your mind"

"So what is skibbity toilet?" "Zen no"

He'd always order for you at places, unless you changed your order he'd get you everytime. "You gotta stop doing that" "Why you jealous I know you better than you know yourself?" "Yes"

He tries to ask you for advice on Akane. "She got upset she couldn't play and eat" "did you try making it a tea party" he scoffs, giggling a bit at the suggestion. "I'm serious. Do you have any tiny tea cups?"

He's definitely touch starved when he gets home. Barely awake, he'd cling onto you, mumbling into your ear. He's fallen asleep for a few seconds on your shoulder. "Let's get you to bed, Zen." "it's comfortable here though." "it'll be more comfortable in bed." "ugghhhhh"

He's gentle when it comes to you, especially when you get home more upset than usual. "So how was work" in a slightly annoyed tone you respond "draining they tried to give me unpaid overtime again" you sigh "hmm" without much words he lays down with you hugging you "do you want anything?" "Sleep" he smiles fondly "this house will be so quiet it's like it was haunted" The next day, do expect most of your chores to be done already, as well as breakfast. It was made with love, not with skill

[vanillawurld]

༊*·˚How To Disappear

✧.* Pair - Johnny Cage x Fem! Reader

✧.* Tags & Warnings - Cursing, angst, pregnancy, acceptance, distance, love, slight fluff(?)

✧.* Summary - Y/N remembers the life she had with Johnny. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the beauty. After a while of being a young single mother, she finally realizes that in order to move on, she needs to accept her past.

✧.* Extra - FINISH ME JOHNNY also I'm bad at summaries... also "D/N" means daughters name :3

✧.* Word Count - 1,884

Y/N hated reminiscing on her past with Johnny cause if she thought about the good things that happened, she also had to think about the bad things. She hated thinking about the ugly part of their relationship. Every time he was upset with her, she felt like she failed him as a girlfriend and a person in general. Every time she was upset with him, he felt like the shittiest man on earth. Their arguments didn't make things any better.

But even through all the tears, anger, and arguments, Y/N loved Jonathan more than anything in the world. Johnny Cage was just his persona that all of Hollywood knew, but in her arms, he was just Jonathan Carlton. He had no issue with it either. People described Johnny as a sarcastic actor who wanted all of the attention on him, but not in Y/N's eyes. In her eyes, Jonathan was a loving man who was nothing like what the people said.

Y/N still remembers the night they met. They met on Venice Blvd on a summer night which was lit up by the cars passing by and the street lights. Y/N wasn't at her best when they met. She felt like everyone was out to get her and life was treating her unfairly. She couldn't help but cry at the fact that her life was going downhill. Johnny saw her sitting on the sidewalk and felt like he needed to do somethin in order to cheer her up, or get to the bottom of why she was so upset.

"Are you okay, ma'am?" Y/N heard a deep voice ask her. Y/N looked over her shoulder and saw a handsome man that she recognized.

"Oh... I know you. You're Johnny Cage," she smiled a bit "My little brother loves your movies." Johnny smiled at the recognition, but he ignored his pride and ego to make sure the woman in front of him was okay.

"Are you okay?" he gently asked her.

"Oh, I'm fine. Thank you." She said while wiping a tear away, but she wasn't fine and Johnny knew this.

"Well, if you were fine, you wouldn't be sitting alone on the sidewalk, crying at night," he sat next to her and took a good look at her face. She was gorgeous. Johnny was taken aback by how stunning she was. Even though her face was full of tears, slightly puffy lips, and she was feeling very vulnerable, she still looked like an angel according to Johnny. "Come on pretty lady," he commented "hit me. What's up?"

Y/N looked at him and realized that he actually wanted to listen to her. She looked down at the road in front of her and couldn't get her reasoning for feeling miserable. She managed to say one vowel before breaking down crying. Y/N was never good at expressing her bad emotions. Especially sadness. Before she can say anything while she's crying, her throat closes up and her mind just keeps telling her to cry.

Johnny furrowed his eyebrows, feeling concerned and bad for her. He gently guided her head on his shoulder and let her cry it out. It was the least he could do. He knew he couldn't force her to tell him what was wrong.

From that day forward, was a beautiful, blossoming relationship. Johnny would contact Y/N any way he could to get her to hang out with him and sometimes his friends. Y/N only liked hanging out with Johnny. She didn't like his friends. They were all so aggressive and she never understood why Johnny would hang out with people like them. Whenever Johnny and Y/N would hang out with his friends, she would watch them hit each other "playfully" and spew insults, while Johnny just watched and drank beers.

Throughout the whole relationship, Y/N was there for Johnny. No matter what he did, she was always there. When he would practice martial arts with someone, she was there to heal the wounds. When he was drunk after a party, she was there to help him sober up. When he was having any trouble, she was there for him. And that's one thing that Johnny always acknowledged.

Johnny admired how strong Y/N was. She was always there for him even if he managed to fuck up. He realized that Y/N was actually in love with him and not after his fame. For the first time in a good while, he had someone who was willing to be there for him. She wasn't like his ex who would point out his every flaw or his friends who would just mess around for the fun of it. She was a unique woman who managed to capture his heart.

Their relationship seemed perfect. Both Johnny and Y/N believed there was nothing in the world that would pull them apart! Which was what Y/N believed. When they hit their 3 year anniversary, that's when things started to go downhill. The more Johnny started to fuck up, the more tired Y/N was getting. She developed a bad habit of trying to make excuses for him. She hated it. She hated hearing him say "I'm sorry baby, I'll change for you." Every time he would say that, it was like nails to a chalkboard. Every time he would say that, she knew he was bullshitting. He never changed.

Y/N believed that his Johnny Cage persona was taking over. She didn't recognize her Jonathan Carlton. The same man who was there for her on Venice Blvd. He used to be so kind and welcoming to her. She never understood what happened to that man. Every time he would make her cry, she just wanted to disappear. From him, from herself, and from the world. Y/N believed that Johnny made her cry more than she cried when she was a kid. Every time he made her cry, she wondered what she did to deserve the treatment he was giving her.

'Is it me? Am I not pretty enough?'

'Is he talking to someone new?'

'Am I too possesive?'

'Is he tired of my jealousy?'

(Granted, Johnny never talked to any woman in any way. He never cheated on Y/N because he thought cheating were for weak and ugly people.)

Whenever Johnny found Y/N crying because of him, he would feel like complete shit. He hated making her feel that way, but he didn't understand why he kept unknowingly doing it.

When the relationship ended, it felt like both Y/N's and Johnny's world were crashing down. Johnny knew the day was gonna come, but he never knew when. He begged her to stay and try to remember all of the good times they had, but Y/N just wasn't having it. Johnny still remembers what she told him that made him realize it was all his fault.

"No, I'm done. For years I've been defending you not for the public, but for me. I would give myself multiple reasons not to be mad at you and try to figure out... everything, but all you did was make things worse! I'm tired and honestly, I've been tired. Of you, the fame, and everything. I tried to make things right with you and it seemed like you didn't want to."

What she told him on that day, will forever be engraved in his head. He lost the love of his life on that day.

Y/N didn't want to leave, but she had no choice. Even when she walked out those doors, she still loved him. Even though she was upset, she still wanted to run back into his arms for one last moment of comfort. But she held herself back, which she both hated and was proud of herself for.

What Y/N didn't know was when she was walking out of Johnny's life, she was entering a new one. She was pregnant with Johnny's baby and she didn't even know it, neither did he! When she did find out, part of her thought her life was ruined, but the other part thought this was a new start for her. She wanted to get rid of it but decided against doing so since she believed she would live to regret not taking advantage of the chance to become a mother.

When she had the baby, it was a living hell for her. She had family that helped her out, but the person that she needed was Johnny. She needed Johnny on her side, but she couldn't just show up on his doorstep randomly and give him the baby. She hated the fact that she still missed him. She let that hate consume her and pledged to do motherhood on her own without "that low-life Hollywood scum" in her life. Even though deep down, she knew she needed him back.

A few years forward, Y/N managed to get a beautiful home with her beautiful daughter and two adorable Siamese and Siberian cats. She was doing well in life. The new city she lived in was just as beautiful as Venice. She loved her life. She loved her daughter, she loved her cats, she loved her home, and she loved... her Johnny. Y/N accepted the fact that she will always love Johnny and in order to move on from her "hatred" she had to accept she had a life with him.

Every time she looked at her daughter, she saw a bit of Johnny in her. Which made her smile every time. From time to time, Y/N regrets the fact that she never tried to get in contact with Johnny to tell him about their daughter.

"Mommy, you got a letter!" D/N said. Her voice made Y/N snapped out of her thought bubble. She grabbed the letter and realized the handwriting on the envelope.

'No... is it really him?'

She grabbed a knife to open the envelope. Every second it took for her to open the letter, her heart began to pound harder. When she finally opened it, she felt like crying. It really was him.

'Dear Y/N, I know it's been years since we've even seen each other. A lot has changed since you've been gone. I went on this wild adventure that I'd love to tell you about someday. If you even want to meet up. The last time we spoke was a depressing day and I understand if there is still hard feelings there. Anyway, I got in contact with one of your cousins and they told me that you're now a mom! Congratulations! I asked about the father, but they wanted to keep that private which I understand. The only thing they told me was that he was out of your daughter's life. I hope you're doing well in life. If there is any trouble, don't be afraid to contact me (XXX-XXX-XXXX). There's so much that I want to discuss with you, but again if there are still hard feelings, I understand. I hope this letter reaches you. The last thing I want to tell you is that, no matter what happens, I will always be there for you.

Sincerely, Jonathan Carlton"

˖◛. *. ⋆ Vanilla Speaks

RUSHED ENDING WOMP WOMP

also I was too lazy to proof-read so, oops

im back i think... idk i'll write if i feel like it tbh

[hoseoksluna]

YOU'RE NOT DIRTY | myg

pairing: ex boyfriend!yoongi x f. reader

genre: fluff

word count: 2.4k

summary: he, who has always been able to untangle the ropes of chaos that is your mental health, helps you when you need to not be alone for once.

warnings: demonization of sex, anxiety, fear, crying & all kinds of iffy feelings about sex, yoongi being perfect

note: this was purely written as a way to heal and cope with the fact i felt extremely dirty after writing my last smut fic 'story'. if you've been following me and reading the little updates i post, you already know this. while this fic is loosely based on 'story', it's not necessary that you read it if you haven't, although namjoon is mentioned. i'd spent over a week writing this and every day had been a step closer to feeling better and it's all thanks to yoongi. he's always been the person who helped me with my mental health, especially when d-day came out. it had to be him. he's linked to this part of me forever. enjoy reading guys &lt;3

“You’re not dirty.”

Those words should comfort you. Those words should rip away those sleazy fingers of the ghost that touches you—the ghost of shame, who mocks the touches of the lover you were with barely an hour ago. But those words do anything but. 

The man, who uttered them, studies your ashen face. He doesn’t see the demon’s large body on top of yours, constricting your airflow. Nobody ever does.

He doesn’t see the way the ghost scrapes the surface of your skin with its long claws; how its flimsy, wet and tattered cape deepens the wound with its rough fabric as bile rises in your throat. How could anyone?

It hurts.

It hurts to the point that you think your sexuality is that demon. That anytime a person of the opposite sex would touch you from now on, he would somehow beckon that hostile creature to come and collect you, slimy hands grasping yours and pulling you in—the touch so deathly that the sordidness would seep into your skin and make a bed in you. Then, the torture would begin all over again.

Shortness of breath. The feeling of your body being dirty and heavy. The distaste towards sex and men that follows after. The despair; the loss of hope that life could be possibly normal for you sometime in the future.

Despite it being such a hefty feeling, only a small part of you regards as true that this is someone else’s fault. It’s devastatingly pathetic.

The majority of your being believes that the foulness is yours. That you’re the one to blame. You believe that it’s your decision and your repulsive actions that stain you. And if that wasn’t enough, the certain question of why links arms with that belief, troubles you along the way, and it becomes much, much worse.

Why does filling a dose of hormones that you lack, that you need for your well-being leave you feeling like you did something very bad?

And, also, another one.

Why does enjoying yourself with another person—becoming close with them in a way that is tempestuous, dizzying and beautiful in such a simple sense, in a way that makes life truly worth living—why does it leave you with those burdening thoughts, soiled body and even grimier conscience? 

Those questions fill you up with dark clouds with no stars, dense and thick ones that weigh your body down. You walk through your daily life with trembling legs. And it’s all forced. You’d rather not feel that way, but it comes over you, swallowing you whole, and you have no strength to fight back. It’s all very frustrating. There’s nothing you can do.

The man’s words should take the edge off this discomfort, the lull and the softness of his tone—the maturity, complexity and dependability of his persona the very warmth that coats his voice—like a damp towel to all your gashes and sores. Help you in some way that you’re unable to help yourself. Perhaps lift the body off of you like Atlas held the world above his head. But they don’t.

And it’s Yoongi. The man you love, even if the state of your relationship is chastely friendly at the moment.

It’s Yoongi, who picked you up in the rain pouring down on you woefully, perfuming your hair with the sweetest, most heady scent of the forest. Yoongi, who gave you his clothes—boxers that fit you comfortably, even if they are a little loose in certain areas, gray sweatpants that decorate the ivory waistband of the Calvins, an old shirt, quite an expensive one, warm and cozy from the dryer. 

Yoongi, who let a velvety blanket fall on your shivering figure once you��ve showered, dressed, and rested comfortably on his couch, placing a light pink bowl filled with cheese puffs on your lap, knowing how much you love the color and the snack, too. Yoongi, who typed the title of your favorite Korean drama into the Netflix search bar, thumb clicking on the up, down, left and right buttons on the remote control, even though he hates doing so and prefers the voice search. Yoongi, who opted for muted leniency to waft through the room, turning off the big lights, sound low, fingers having finished typing the title: ‘It’s Okay Not To Be Okay’.

It should do something. But it doesn’t.

You’re incapable of looking him in the eyes. You just numbly gaze down at the orange tastiness, plopping another one into your mouth, swallowing down the bile. You dissociate, eyes defocusing, the pressure to respond to him a distant siren alarm at the back of your mind. 

A solid, peculiar peace steps over the threshold of your mind to check if it’s welcome before it takes a step back and walks the other way, the stench of the mold of your feelings pushing it away. 

Must have been his. 

He’s careful before he says what he wants to say in its entirety.

Yoongi takes his hands off of your forearms. The glint of his silver watch pulls you out of your detachment. Guilt pricks you at the nape of your neck over the fact that he’s trying and you’re too numb to receive it from him. You will your body to be normal, but it stays the way it is.

You had told him briefly in the car, amidst the onrush of your liquid emotions, that you felt that way. Dirty, soiled, ashamed of your perverseness. He didn’t comment on it, driving in silence. He knew that if he spoke too soon, you wouldn’t hear him—choosing to place your palm on the stick shift instead, holding your hand like that.

It struck you with the notion that you spoke too much. Did too much. That you should’ve just stayed quiet, stayed without feeling until he killed the engine at your apartment, until the door softly clicked behind you. You didn’t hear the language of his hand, all the words that gesture said. Instead, you listened to the false words in your brain.

You’re bothering him. He doesn’t care. He thinks you’re annoying. You should’ve called an Uber or you shouldn’t have come at all. You should’ve been home, depriving yourself of life, of excitement, of love and pleasure. 

But Yoongi didn’t drive you home—he didn’t drive down the familiar path to your apartment. And Yoongi didn’t speak because he knows you better than you know yourself. 

He wanted you to pour out the rain of your clouds before his words could tear them apart with sunlight. It wasn’t his intention to make you suffer more than you already did. 

You didn’t know this, though.

“Did you hear what I said?” the grim man asks, the grave acrimony to his voice alerting you and you feel so bad. So, so very bad.

A silky waterfall of his ebony hair brushes the tops of his cheekbones. You notice how the similarly colored hood of his sweatshirt envelops his neck in warmth, merging the hues into one color within the dimness of the living room. Looking down at your crisscrossed legs, mimicking his, you unfurl the blanket over his thighs. It pulls you into one unity with him, his steadfastness reaching for you.

“I did, Yoongi,” you say, wanting to be honest within the environment you find yourself in. “I just don’t know what to say.”

“Did he make you feel that way?” Yoongi folds his arms over his chest. Leans over the backrest. Suddenly you’re aware of the distance between the two of you. Glad that the blanket is big enough. “Dirty?”

It’s a question that hurts because you wish you could change your answer.

“I wish he did.” Your voice wobbles. Somehow his calm demeanor cracks yours, pushing the voices aside. “It would’ve been easier.”

If Namjoon were the one who hauled the words at you instead of your brain—if it were his touches that dug a hole in your heart instead of the ghost—you wouldn’t be sniffling your nose, willing your tears to go back where they came from. It’s all you and the broken interior of your body. Namjoon treated you perfectly, having invited you over to his residence near the woods. He didn’t make love to you, but he did play with you, coaxing moans out of you that echoed through his mansion. You enjoyed yourself, even though you enjoyed pleasuring him a little more.

Perhaps, that’s the biggest problem of it all.

“What do you mean by that?”

“It would’ve been easier ‘cause I would’ve blamed him.” You sigh, averting your gaze, plucking out fluff from the blanket on your knee. 

Yoongi runs his fingers through his hair to sweep it away from his eyes. His leisure position sinks him deeper into the dimness as he lowers his body into the cushions, arms back on his chest. 

“There’s no one to blame, though,” he says simply, biting his lower lip. 

You don’t know what to say. Busying yourself, you take a sip of the can of Sprite Yoongi got for you, aware of the strange emptiness within the walls of your mind. There’s always some kind of noise, some kind of accusation towards you. You’ve become used to it, learned to live with it. It’s a strange newness, this silence. You don’t know what to do with it. 

“You did nothing wrong,” he continues, voice so warm and so deep, despite its monotonicity. 

You merely shrug your shoulders. 

Yoongi reaches forward and places a hand on your left shoulder. As if to stop your stubbornness from overwhelming your body. You feel the heat of his palm and your mouth rounds in a pout. There’s energy in it—some kind of energy that mends you. His words are tall pillars that you slowly make your way over to, leaning against their coolness. Lukewarmness. 

You discover that it feels better. The heat of his touch, the coolness of his solemnity. It creates a temperature that your body responds to, walks away from the hostile creature. 

Before he had spoken, Yoongi touched you. Placed his palms in the crooks of your arms. But it didn’t affect you—and it’s because he hadn’t spoken. Now that he has, it whirs with some kind of spark in you that speaks the language of your body. 

“Do you understand what I’m saying?” Yoongi asks, lowering his head, eyes up, so he can look more deeply into yours. Perhaps read an answer. Any reaction that would tell him that he can move forward. 

You remain quiet, but you reciprocate the eye contact. And you do it for a reason. Now that your mind is empty, you desire for him to fill it. 

You shake your head.

Yoongi cups the side of your neck. Brushes your hair away from your face with his other hand. Inches closer. Pecks you gently on the forehead. 

The gesture squeezes the clouds in you and rain pours out. It trickles out of your tear ducts, down your pallid cheeks. Yoongi leans against your temple. Doesn’t let himself see those raindrops, but he knows they’re there. 

“You did nothing wrong by enjoying sex and you’re not dirty because you had it. It doesn’t stain you. Do you know what it does instead, though?” He whispers, keeping his voice low just for you; waits for your response. 

You shake your head ‘no’ once more, your shoulders relaxing now that you’re being held, now that you’re being spoken to, filled, made new. 

“It paints you golden. Glittery. And all colors of the rainbow are in that glitter. It’s all over you and it’s in you. And do you know the reason?” 

This time he doesn’t wait. Your tears soak the thick fabric of his sweatshirt and a rosy flush floods your cheeks in their place. You sob, and the sound is muffled.

“It’s because you had a good time. Good experiences paint you in all kinds of different ways. You just have to open your eyes to see them. All those colors.  Wait a bit before you can try ‘em all out. It takes time, doesn’t it?” 

You nod, and you do it so many times that your head spins, whimpering at the sudden lightness that your body welcomes. Yoongi hugs you, enclasps you in his arms. The blanket falls to the ground and it’s his body that keeps you warm, the ghost shoved away. You continue to cry until not one cloud fits in your ribcage, Yoongi’s words being the bodies that settle there, cleaning up the disorder they left there. Bodies speckled with the same glitter he talked about, myriads of silver, violet and blue flakes spelling the abbreviation of his name: MYG. 

I have glitter inside of myself.

You repeat it to yourself as your lungs calm down, regular breaths soothing your fragile form still held by Yoongi. He caresses the back of your head, fingers smoothing down your hair, making sure it cascades down your back in one singular stream. 

Lifting your head like a toddler on its belly, you do the same for Yoongi. You brush his hair away from his face, thumb stopping to caress at his cheek. Yoongi puckers his lips at you, hauls you a bit further upwards on his body. Mimics you again, fondling your cheek blooming with a new color. 

“No matter what you do with whoever you choose, you’ll always be a good girl,” he murmurs, the pad of his thumbs flicking away the last teardrops under your eyes, swiping tenderly across the intricate fan of your wet eyelashes. 

You believe him, so you nod, chin quivering with another onrush of emotions but nothing comes out. You don’t say it, but you have a confidence in the notion that your body will be eternally his. 

And you ponder it in your brain, softly, as Yoongi leans over and sets a tangerine down on the top of his chest. You come to terms with it being the current reality while he peels it for you. And you fully believe it and accept it when he feeds you the half moons. One by one, painting the walls of your mind with the faintest color of orange—the very reflection of a morning sunlight pouring in. 

A solid peace, no longer peculiar, steps over the threshold of that suddenly illuminated room, and it doesn’t leave this time. It swings the door closed, the sound of the click the very announcement of stability coming to stay. 

© 2024 hoseoksluna, all rights reserved

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[chez-cinnamon]

Hi Chezzy! I am in love with your art style! If its alright I have a couple questions about Florian and Frowdie fam :)

How did Eddie, Frank and Howdy react upon finding Florian and Who found the lil guy?

Does Peony kinda take on a big sister role to Florian after her Dads explain they haven't replaced her and still very very much love her?

Do all 5 of them take goofy family photos together? I can just imagine them all in those striped jumpers from the 70's 🤣

All in all I love your content and its made me smile on some rough days! I hope you're doing well :)

Thank you so much it means a lot!! ;0;

1- They’d be surprised but over the moon with finding Florian - after a long while in the human world, finally returning home, to their world, after a long scuffle that left them tired, battered and bruised, there he was, like a little “Welcome Home” present. Eddie would be the one to find him first, finding him crying in a little crib in his and Frank’s room, all three of them welcoming him to their little family!

2- Eventually she does, after getting over the initial shock and lingering fear of being replaced, when in reality they too were also surprised by Florian coming into their lives. After they both start school, Peony realises just how easily pushed around Florian is, since he’s so shy and gentle, so she adopts the protective older sister persona, which leads them to becoming inseparable! Oh and Frank is the one to make her realise that she is still very much loved by him and his husbands -

3- yes they definitely are that kind of family XD

[rhythmstars]

Hello!! Just saw that you were writing for Pavitr- and thought I could submit this idea:) soo, I was thinking an Pavitr x reader where some villian finds out that spider man is dating the reader and uses that against him by kidnapping the reader? And Pavitr is just kinda freaking out and Gwen or someone has to calm him down before they go and save reader? Just thought it was an interesting idea and it's fine if you don't want to do it:) remember to take care of yourself and all that stuff<3

A/n: omg i live for hurt comfort!! Also, thank you so much for being so sweet! take care of yourself as well, drink some water!! and thank you for requesting!! <3

i tried my best to write this, i hope you enjoy, I'm sorry for any mistakes or if it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to :)

Warnings: minor? gore, panic, crying, hurt (with comfort fellas!), Pavitr being ANGRY, and bad writing.

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this is my first fic on Tumblr so pls let me know if you like it and if there are any mistakes :))

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Pavitr Prabhakar x GN! Reader

It was five hours ago when Pavitr received a text from his partner asking him if he is free for the day.

Five hours ago when he replied with a 'sorry but i have a meeting with the others today, maybe next time? will make it up to you i promise <3'

Four hours ago when he got a text from them reassuring him that it's alright and that they can always plan something for some other day, and asking him not to blame himself for this.

Three hours ago, before he got a text from them telling him that they have a sudden change in schedule and that they'll be attending their piano lessons today. A message with the last line being 'don't forget how much I love you, Pav. <3'

It was two hours ago when he got out of the meeting and tried calling his s/o to talk with them about their day and his. Two hours ago when they didn't pick up his first and his fifth call.

It was one hour ago when he asked Gwen and Hobie to help him find his s/o because he was freaking out.

And, it was exactly 30 minutes ago when Miguel called him to the office and told him that his beloved had been walking home from school when they got abducted by some unknown people. When he felt like the world has stopped.

It was exactly now that he was panicking and pacing around the room with uneven breathing.

"Pav, you need to calm down. They'll be fine." Gwen tried to reassure him because she felt like if she doesn't, then Pavitr won't ever stop. He didn't reply though, possibly not even heard what his friend had said. He kept murmuring about the possibilities he had flooding his mind.

Hobie sighed "This is no good mate. You gotta stop pacin' and think for a moment." He tried to talk to him but was met with silence once more. Frustrated with his best friend's antics, he walked towards Pavitr and puts a hand on his shoulder making him still. "Oi! can you stop pacin' around and think calmly for a moment?" he said in a sharp tone.

What he didn't expect was a distraught looking Pavitr looking at him helplessly with tears in his eyes. "Pav..." Gwen was shocked to see him like this as well. A guy like him never liked crying in front of others or talking about his problems, so seeing him like this really hurt them.

"Calmly?" Pavitr spoke in an annoyed tone. "I CAN'T BE CALM! MY S/O IS KIDNAPPED BECAUSE OF ME! AND I'M SITTING HERE NOT BEING ABLE TO DO *ANYTHING* BECAUSE MIGUEL HAS TOLD US TO SIT AROUND TILL HE PLAYS WITH HIS MACHINES IN THERE!"

Both of them looked at him shocked to their cores. They had never seen this guy so frustrated or angry. This cool and calm guy with a never ending playful persona.

He sighed. "I'm- I'm sorry I just-" he covered his face as he sat down on the stairs. "I- I don't know what to do...i don't know what is happening to them right now or if they're alright. I have no clue where they are and what those assholes are doing to them." He took in a deep breath. "I- You don't know I just- I don't want to think about this- what if, what if they're hurt? what if they're torturing them for being with me? they'll never tell my secrets, they'll rather die and it just, it scares the shit out of me guys i don't know what is going on. what if i never get to see them again? what if they leave me? what if- what if I-" His voice broke and he choked on a sob.

Gwen and Hobie looked down in guilt. They knew that this isn't easy for Pavitr. He truly loved Y/n.

Only a minute later, Peter came running out of the building. "Hey! We found 'em!" At his words, Pavitr got up with the speed of lightning and impatiently demanded the location.

"Where?"

Miguel walked beside Peter, "Do not act irrationally Pavitr, this is-"

"Where."

Miguel and Peter looked at him in shock. They had never seen him so angry. "The warehouse near the east coast in Mumbattan."

That's all he needed to hear before getting ready to take off. He had waited enough. One more second of delay and he'd lose himself. With impatient, trembling hands, he started using his watch for opening a portal back to his world.

To save his world.

"Pavitr!" He looked back at Miguel when he heard his voice, expecting a lecture on being rational and thinking calmly. But much to everyone's except Peter's surprise, Miguel said something nice. "Good luck."

Pavitr gave him a grateful nod and walked into the portal followed by Gwen and Hobie.

The three of them stood on a tower standing a few meters away from the warehouse. Pavitr was growing impatient every second and both Gwen and Hobie could see it.

Gwen placed a hand on his shoulder gently speaking, "Hey, it's alright. We're here now right? They're gonna be alright." She gave him a small reassuring smile.

"Yeah mate really, let's just check before getting straight to them, eh?" Hobie gave him a grin.

Pavitr sighed and nodded. "Let's go." They swung by the warehouse and over, trying to search for men possibly on the lookout. When they found none, they landed on the roof of the warehouse. A skylight caught there attention as they walked towards it to look inside. Unfortunately for them, it was too dark.

Too dark for Pavitr's liking.

Suddenly, the door to the warehouse opened and a man dressed in a robe walked in. He had a suitcase in his hand. What the actual hell?

He placed his suitcase on a iron table nearby and walked towards....

Pavitr's eyes widened. There, in front of that man, laying on the cold hard ground, tied to a metal frame, was his beloved s/o. The light coming in from the opened door reflected their bruises and cuts. Pavitr's blood turned cold at the man's laughter.

"Look at you, young gorgeous. Not so gorgeous anymore with all those scars but-" he pulled out a pair of gloves and started putting it on. "Come on dear y/n. We both know he doesn't give a DAMN about you. Otherwise he'd be here by now."

Gwen places a hand on Pavitr's shoulder, trying to ground his racing heart. "He won't even LOOK at you with a face as bruised as this. Just, tell me already." his voice turned deadly serious as he kneeled in front of them, "how. do. i. defeat. him."

That's enough.

Pavitr broke through the glass of the skylight and landed behind the man making him turn away startled. Gwen and Hobie followed after him looking angry. But Pavitr wasn't angry, no.

He was FURIOUS.

He glared at the man with so much rage and hatred that even the creepy man felt a shiver run down his spine. "Hah! would you look at that!" The man clapped his hands. "so you DO care after all."

Pavitr rushed forward and punched the man straight in the jaw making him stumble. But he still laughed like a maniac. "Haha! Gosh! You have some strength in you young man!" Pavitr punched him again as Gwen rushed to y/n's side untying their hands and legs. Hobie took his chance and smashed a random discarded wine bottle he found lying somewhere on the man's arm making him yelp in agony.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!?" pavitr yelled. He held him by the collar of his shirt. "WHY DID YOU TAKE THEM!?" He punched him on the right cheek but he kept laughing. "HOW DARE YOU HURT THEM!" A punch on the left cheek and his laughing turned to choked coughs as he spat out blood on the floor. "HOW DARE YOU!" He yelled and kept punching him.

Gwen, y/n and Hobie watched him with wide eyes. They had never seen him so furious. So vengeful. Gwen looked at Hobie who stood behind Pavitr, giving a look. He nodded before walking forward and holding pavitr by his shoulders. "Hey. that's enough, mate."

But to their surprise, Pavitr pushed his hands away and kept punching the now unconscious man. Hobie frowned. "Pav. Let go man. that's enough." He didn't stop.

Y/n watched. This wasn't like him. He wasn't the sweet, charismatic boy who they knew. No, he was a furious and enraged superhuman who had forgotten about the boundaries of being the friendly neighborhood, Spider-Man.

"Pav..." They spoke weakly but loud enough for him to hear. He immediately stopped his movements and looked at them. They had tears in their eyes as They stared at him with fear. Afraid that he'll lose his humanity. He dropped his hands to the side, his blood and the man's blood mixed, dripping from his knuckles. He swiftly walked towards them and kneeled in front of them.

His eyes scanned their body lingering on every cut and bruise. Y/n slowly raised a hand to his cheek and it was enough to break him. He hid his face in the crook of their neck as the tears escaped his eyes.

Gwen and Hobie shared knowing looks and walked out with hobie carrying the unconscious man.

Pavitr hugged y/n and cried in their embrace. "Hey.... I'm okay... it's okay...Pav..." They whispered gently to him.

The hold on their body tightened as he cried. "I- i thought i- l-lost you.." Y/n felt a ache in their heart. He sounded so broken. "I was s-so scared."

It came as a surprise even to y/n. No matter how bad things got or how scared he'd get, Pavitr NEVER showed it on his face. He always kept a charming smile on his face and a few corny jokes up his sleeve to assess the situation. But seeing him break down like this only because of the fear that he'd lose them, it was overwhelming. It was heartwarming. It was endearing.

They took in a shakey breath and hugged him tighter. "Yeah...me too. But hey" they pulled a little back and looked at him in the eyes, "we're okay. you're here... I'm here...yeah?" a reassuring smile on their face, they tried their best to console his racing heart and shaking body.

"B-but y-you're hurt..." He looked down at their wounds but they held him by the chin and made him look at them.

"I'm alive." Their voice was firm and reassuring. "They....they may leave some scars but, nothing serious. I hope you don't mind a little ugliness, Spider boy." They smiled and joked but their voice held some sort of insecurity and fear in it. This didn't go unnoticed by Pavitr.

He always noticed.

He gently cupped their cheeks and looked softly at them. "You were, are, and always will be the most beautiful person to me. In every damn universe and in every damn reality. I will NEVER stop loving you y/n." His words made the tears in their eyes return as they smiled at him.

How can he be so brutally furious one moment and then so sweet and caring the other? 'This boy... he'd be the death of me.' Y/n thought as they looked at his miraculously perfect face.

Pavitr pulled them in for a kiss and they happily gave in hugging him close. When they pulled apart, Pavitr gave them a small smile.

"Now let's get you home." He gently picked them up in his arms and grinned at them.

" I'm pretty sure you missed your dashing boyfriend."

[codemiracle]

Can you please tell me the backstory of the ocs...they are so gorgeous omg...thank u !!!...

My first ask... omg....!! (tries to seem calm about it) Thank u for asking!!! I'm glad you like them :((<3 The backstory of my ocs is still mostly a wip even to me (i change my mind often about things, especially when my mind fixates on different topics) But I can tell you more about the two ocs in this post here. tw: mentions of death, stalking, unhealthy behavior, dark stuff overall, and mentions of self-harm on Yuuta's part. (All of the images used here are CGs for the game.)

Yuuta is a deeply troubled person. His mother died when he was very young and he's been dealing with the loss of literally his only parental figure since (his father is literally the leader of a pyramid scheme cult and doesn't know about his existence) He despises how fragile humans can be and since then he tries to understand his own mortality through inflicting pain upon his own body. His mother died due to an illness he also has, an illness that causes parts of his body to suddenly get badly bruised or bleed without warning, his blood is really thin so stopping bleeding is hard for him too. He eventually finds some escape from his solitude exploring his darker side by meeting the MC (the character you control in the game) He gets deeply obsessed with them since he finds that inflicting pain on them (don't worry it's all consensual) is more relieving than doing it to himself. He loves the feeling of power it gives him, the feeling of a life hanging in between his fingers. And this time he won't let go so easily. He might be a little bit of a sharp-tongued person and sometimes can seem pretty harsh with people and even the MC, but it's due to the fear of losing someone again. When he really really gets into you he won't let you go, that's for sure. He can't let go of someone again.

Yotsuya it's quite the opposite of Yuuta, he doesn't hide his true feelings behind a mask of hatred and coldness, instead, he's a more shy but polite person, much more pleasant to be around tbh. But don't let that fool you. He has his own inner turmoil too. He's been following the MC for a while now (for unknown reasons) and seems pretty fixated on them, taking the same train as them after work, trying to make small talk as they bump into each other in conveniently the same places. He's always stressed from work, often you can find him just crying outside his workplace while he smokes (like in the drawing) or standing eerily quiet in the dark of night in the middle of the street. Not much is now about Yotsuya, but the fact he truly despises cheaters, often making remarks about cheating culture and hating on people who cheat on their partners. He seems to know the MC from somewhere else but refuses to say where they met the first time. Doesn't seem to have any connections or family, living alone in some simple apartment. I can't tell you much about him because I want you to discover who the "True" Yotsuya is (that's the point of his route.) But I can tell you, this guy isn't anything like it seems, he's quite the opposite of his sweet and shy persona when he's inside his home. That's his place, his playing field so to speak. He's no longer the meek office worker, but his true self.

Sorry, that was so much text.... and I feel like I didn't say anything interesting... feel free to ask if you need to know anything else!

<3

[askew-d]

Hello again....if you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from MDZS? And why you loved them? And your top 5 favorite moments from the novel? Sorry if you've answered this question before....Thanks....

sure! its no trouble at all. sorry i am embarassingly late and thank you for the question, i loved making this list :)

1. wei wuxian, our selfless yiling laozu

alright, you can call me cliché, everyone loves him, right? but kendrick lamar said it’s all about love and hate in the game so let me tell you, i love this man. i love the way that he walks, the way that he kills, the way that he dresses, the way that he mocks others, the way that he protect those he loves, the way he’s unbearably and so utterly good to the core (no irony or pun intended), regardless of everything he’s been through. because let’s come clean: other characters, such as xue yang and meng yao, did have their reasons to be evil, i comprehend them! i validate their motives to be who they are, but it does not, for the love of god, excuses their actions.

and that’s the thing! because wei wuxian has been though hell and back, way worse than them, yet he chose to continue doing good things. it’s just who he is (unbelievable, right?). he is, essentialy, someone who pursues justice. he sought revenge for what he suffered, that he rightly did, but he didn’t lash out on innocent cultivators who had nothing to do with his injuries. and the amount of strength, resilience, kindness and sheer wisdom that resides in this makes my admiration for him grow as deep as the ocean. he’s the ultimate main character of every fictional world. no one’s doing tragedy, revenge, inteligence, selflessness, love and being a troublemaker like him, ok. he’s one for the history books. and with that we go to:

2. lan wangji, our beloved hanguang-jun

i said this before, but i will say it again: i feel like wei wuxian might kill me every time i go around saying ‘lan zhan’ or even start worshipping him too much. however, who wouldn’t worship him? he’s a god among humans; a superhero in a novel about cultivators. if wei wuxian’s considered by some an antihero, he’s the true, righteous captain america right here. and it’s not just the looks, he’s a whole package: a terrific father, a dedicated brother and nephew, an esteemed cultivator, a marvellous husband and a fair human being.

most of all, i dearly love him for the fact that he’s been loving wei wuxian since the beginning and never let that go. this man fought for his love like no one else did. he remembered wei wuxian when no one else did. he tried and tried, for him. he waited thirteen years, for him. in fact, if wei wuxian had never returned, he’d just have been waiting and waiting, living his life in grief, watching the moonlight alone…… but that’s a thought for another moment.

the amount of love this man carries is unbearable, really. it’s who he is too. and i also adore the fact that he has a lot of personas: he’s a serious senior for the disciples, a feral animal in bed, silly in some moments and painfully romantic in others. he’s just unreal!

3. lan jingyi, the most atypical lan that has ever lanned

if this boy was in the modern times, im sure i would make friends with him. hes everyones spirit inside this story. he is one of hell of a representation: he can judge, yell, put some sense into other peoples minds, act even more senseless and tell truths without caring for the consequences (and then crying when faced with the punishment of headstands). and the best part of all: he is, oddly, a lan! i love him! best boy ever (alright, perhaps after lan sizhui, but i relate to jingyi harder).

put him in a modern school. can you disagree with me that he would be the one student lurking in the far away desks acting all angelic when the teacher comes close only to act like a little devil, screaming, laughing loudly and hiding food in his backpack during activities? can you disagree with me that he would be the one to run and jump like a maniac when its time for p.e class and sleep out of boredom when the teacher starts explaining serious stuff? can you disagree with me he would pretend to enact the rules only to receive bad grades and pull the most stupid facades to hide it from his parents?

in some ways, he does have similarities with wei wuxian. but wei wuxian is a genius who wouldnt even go to class when he didnt want to, sleep instead of play-pretend and even so receive the best grades ever, annoying everyone. theres this difference. but lan jingyi isnt a genius, he is just one of us. and i love him for it.

4. wen qing, my beautiful doctor

wen qing, my beloved, you didnt deserve that backlash.... this woman deserved to have a happy family, alright. she deserved a little bit of happiness! she deserved to have her brother with her! she deserved to be well and to not have suffered so badly just because of her surname. if there is one thing i agree with (and i dont remember exactly who said it, but it was from twitter), is that the girls from mdzs are underrated, underappreciated and deserved tons more love. but anyway, let us mention wen qing!

this woman protected wei wuxian and jiang cheng, did a procedure to give jiang cheng a golden core, never killed anyone, ran from fighting in the war against innocent people because she does not share these wicked principles, and still ended up watching her family get tortured, his brother dead and was burned alive. the sheer cruelty of what they put her (and them) through is unbelievable. i wanted her to have a lovely family and to continue being a great friend to wei wuxian, seriously, they were such a great duo. i cannot get tired of aus in which they are rommates or something! she is usually sarcastic, fierce, bossy and so responsible. how could someone not like her?

5. a-qing, the girl who went to her limits and beyond

this girl went over the limits of heaven and hell, in fact. i love her determination and how clever she is! look at how long she managed to trick xue yang! who else who could that? i believe not even wei wuxian could have topped it. she deserved to continue living within that world with xiao xingchen. i also cannot avoid to point out that she was not a cultivator. she was a simple girl, left to struggle in the streets, who still achieved what she achieved. she lived with an esteemed rogue cultivator, manipulated one of the most essential antagonists, returned as a ghost to protect people from this specific antagonist, used a lot of her spiritual strenght to show wei wuxian the truth, continued to give wei wuxian and hanguang-jun directions to find xue yang, and received many support, compliments and faith from the main group of our story.

personally, i cannot think of another female character in the story who did more than her. wen qing did a lot, sure, but she came from a big sect. jiang yanli too. mianmian was a cultivator too. a-qing was not, and nonetheless, this girl rocks! unbelievable. if i went through what she did, i would have lost all will to persist long ago. that is another thing mdzs brought me: the perspective that, even when you are kind and did nothing wrong, you might still have tragedies happen to you. people will die anyway. including you. kindness is important, and sometimes it may save you, but sometimes it may also cause you harm. are you strong enough to have all the kindness and all that tragedy and still endure?

because a-qing, wei wuxian and so many of them did.

well, now onto my favorite parts from the novel! i will try and make this quicker. haha, lets go.

when wei wuxian and lan wangji were stuck (stuck? not actually, i believe, wei wuxian caused it) in that farm and our main character just simply laid on top of lan wangji. and he still dared... to call himself.... not a cut-sleeve. yeah, sure, bro, no homo and all that. and thats definitely not a boner beneath your clothes, huh.

when wei wuxian starts falling real hard and he wonders if he will ever be able to sleep in a bed without lan wangji again, and later on after they have sex, he f i n a l l y realizes that there is no wei wuxian without lan wangji. in a dramatic mood, even. like, seriously, dude?? what a way to pine, but ok. go get your man or something, we all waiting for it.

every extra. i just... love every bit from the extra.

in the scene where lan wangji is drunk and they start playing hide-and-seek. and lan wangji just hides himself behind smth. and shows only a bit of his face. he nods, pouts, begs with his face to continue. i died right there.

the confession. the confession. the tear. the confession. the shock from everyone else. the 'hug me tighter!' after. the confession. the hug. THE CONFESSION.

hahaha i admit it, for me everything is about them. is it not about them? you cannot tell me otherwise. i love wangxian with all my heart. also, your asks are all lovely, i love them, feel free to always send whatever you want :) hope you have a great day and week ahead of you.

[pinksparkl]

Spoilers for 3 Times Vincent Couldn't Say How He Felt, And 1 Time He Did

This audio is so beautiful, I'm gonna cry!

In fact, I did cry a little bit 🥹

A return of "little one"? 🥰 oh, be still, my beating heart~~

The fact that Vincent was >thisclose< to saying something along the lines of "I love you" or "I want to stay here with you" after only meeting them three times is insane, and I love it. Though it does add a new intensity of how Vincent was feeling throughout the roommates-stage. He knows what he's feeling could be seen as too much, too fast, so he has to slow it down and hide it all under the flirty persona he's perfected over the last 2 decades. (I'm not crying, you are!) BUT Lovely can already see through the act a bit, questioning what he wants before he left 🥹😭

ALSO! (Because I'm an idiot, and it was 3am when I first wrote this) that 👆 happened after Vincent first bites Lovely and explains what magic is, and BEFORE Adam kidnaps them. ADAM HEARD ALL OF THIS, this was the cutesy stuff he was making fun of. This was the most adorable scene ever and now it has an angsty aftertaste.

The way Vincent mentions the Wards and Protection spells, and how Lovely thanks him like this is a normal everyday occurrence in their life now is so sweet, But We Know What Happened Next 🥺😭

Wow, Vincent being the one to call the meeting between Lovely and William really changes things. This wasn't a meeting of a King and the partner of his progeny, or even a King and the victim of a heinous crime perpetrated by someone under his rule, this was a meeting of a man and his son's partner.

"They’re… I mean, they’re my forever person, you know? They should meet my Maker." Excuse me while I sob forever at how adorable this is. The two most important people in his life meeting is obviously a highly stressful, but very important moment for him. Lol at Sam being less than unhelpful though 😂

That Inverson scene though?? Stabbing me would honestly hurt less.

Lovely being the one to bring up the possibility that they (they themself, or everyone in general, I'm not sure... 🥺) might not survive this and Vincent trying desperately to stay positive in the face of The Worst Disaster Ever? 😭 And knowing what happened next... Damn, Erik... did you make a deal with a Misery demon this week?

And the final scene? Their hope for the future despite all the terrible things they've been through? "I can’t lie to you, Lovely. I couldn’t say it if I didn’t really believe it. I do." 😭💕 It really gives me hope for their next chapter, the next stage of their story, wherever it takes them.

Moments like these that remind me that Vincent is still human inside, unsure of how to express his emotions due to his inexperience with doing so. He was 20 when he was Turned, and then all but isolated for a number of years after that, partially through his own choice, then he made the decision that to be a good vamp he had to close off his emotions (some of the Solaires are bad role models...). Through the four years he's been with Lovely, he's learned so much about himself and how to let himself just be... Vincent, as dorky and stupid as he wants to be without feeling like he needs to put on a flirty mask 24/7.

[babyleostuff]

hi!!! i always read your svt as your boyfriend series and was wondering if you could do seungkwan because i miss him so much :< thank you so much and keep up the great amazing work!! (now im going to read through every fic in your masterlist lol)

so so happy to hear that you enjoy my work love! as we all miss our sungkwan here is a lil sweet seungkwan headcanon <3

SEUNGKWAN AS YOUR BOYFRIEND

genre | fluff

author's note | if you want me to write this with any other member that I haven't done yet, let me know <3

𓆩♡𓆪 your personal entertainer, but also a baby that has to be taken care of 

𓆩♡𓆪 he is always soft and gentle with you, in everything that he does 

𓆩♡𓆪 even during fights, he cannot bring himself to raise his voice at you 

𓆩♡𓆪 he is probably also the emotional one in your relationship - if he ever sees any hints of tears in your eyes, he’ll probably cry as well

𓆩♡𓆪 just because he is so precious and loving, he can’t stand seeing you sad and upset 

𓆩♡𓆪 that’s where his entertainment persona comes in 

𓆩♡𓆪 loves making you laugh and giggle with his skits and role plays (is always so proud of himself after he made you laugh or even smile for that matter)

𓆩♡𓆪 he can be bickering with the boys and fighting Soonyoung at the same time, but the moment he lays his eyes on you, he’s all 🥰

𓆩♡𓆪 sometimes he gets jealous if other people steal your attention from him

𓆩♡𓆪  usually he won’t do anything about it, but you quickly realise that something is wrong with him

𓆩♡𓆪 so you politely excuse yourself and go back to your boyfriend to shower him with attention and a lot of affection, that will leave him blushing

𓆩♡𓆪 always gives you his hoodies and shirts for you to wear before he goes on tour, so that it smells like you after 

𓆩♡𓆪 this serves as a little reminder that even if you're not physically around him, you're still out there waiting for him

𓆩♡𓆪 he’s very cuddly with you, he loves having his arms around you (this mostly happens when you two are alone, he’s all over you then)

𓆩♡𓆪 but when you're around other people, the furthest he goes is holding your hand 

𓆩♡𓆪 it’s not that he is embarrassed (he could never be embarrassed because of you), he’s just too shy 

𓆩♡𓆪 still, everyone around can see how smitten he is, just by the way he looks at you 

𓆩♡𓆪 always has you close to him in big crowds (once when you got lost he almost had a heart attack)

𓆩♡𓆪 also gets shy if you praise him for his work, because in his eyes it’s not that big of a deal 

𓆩♡𓆪 but for you it is everything 

𓆩♡𓆪 sings you to sleep (sometimes he doesn’t even realise he’s doing it, at this point it’s just a habit for him)

𓆩♡𓆪 you’ll lay facing each other, one of his hands holding yours and the other stroking your cheek gently 

𓆩♡𓆪 has the softest and most loving expression when he sees that you have fallen asleep 

𓆩♡𓆪 I think I cannot stress this enough, but he is just so in love with you 

𓆩♡𓆪 always has his hand on your cheek when you kiss

𓆩♡𓆪 even if it’s just a small and quick peck, he will put his hand on your cheek and stroke it with his thumb 

𓆩♡𓆪 sends you a lot of random photos when he’s away to keep you updated with everything that he does 

𓆩♡𓆪 and always brings something from a foreign country that reminded him of you 

𓆩♡𓆪 you probably have at least one matching item, like a necklace or a bracelet 

𓆩♡𓆪 something small that only you know about

𓆩♡𓆪 so that every time you look at it, it reminds you of the other person 

𓆩♡𓆪 introduces you to Bookkeu, which you grew to love in an instant 

𓆩♡𓆪 taking him on walks and walking around Jeju is his favourite activity to do with you 

𓆩♡𓆪 it feels so domestic to him - you with him in his hometown, spending time with his family and his beloved dog 

𓆩♡𓆪 you’re the first person he looks for when he’s tired, both physically and mentally 

𓆩♡𓆪 because he knows that you never judge him and that he is safe with you 

𓆩♡𓆪 so hiding in your arms is his number one source of comfort 

𓆩♡𓆪 no matter how much he loves being babied by you, he also loves to be the person that takes care of you 

𓆩♡𓆪 it makes him feel like he's doing a good job as a boyfriend and that he can reciprocate the times when he’s away 

𓆩♡𓆪 which you never blame him for, you know that he loves his job

𓆩♡𓆪 but he feels guilty for being away so much  

𓆩♡𓆪 nonetheless, you are each others source of comfort

your messages <3

[twopoppies]

I’m the anon who said he’s being marketed wrong and I’m going to clarify to two responses

No I have no issues with Louis himself but as someone who has seen him over the years and in person too it’s a major difference between off stage and on and even onstage from the Walls tour to now

And I love seeing him confident but confident in performing which he is and it’s wonderful to see but confident is not going from someone who gets bashful and runs when a fan blew him a kiss to someone who makes suggestive gestures on stage

It’s also not adopting someone else’s real persona

If people can’t see he’s being marketed as a straight performer go watch the LATAM promo tour when there were what? Hundreds of screaming girls crying for him and don’t tell me his hotel and airport info wasn’t dropped to them too. It’s not just that how many indie rockers have you seen that behavior around want to be taken seriously as an indie rocker then form market him like he’s still on a pop boyband, because you know nothing attracts the male fans they want like seeing teen girls scream and cry over someone.

And the reason I said it could make it harder for him it’s not the genre of music it’s when 3/4 of a fandom think he’s straight and don’t do any digging because they’re new and a lot of fantasies of being with him the longer it goes on the more it’s believed so if he does come out there will be a backlash from fans who feel they were fooled by him

Also if you don’t think so go and look at how many left when they realized he was singing “I love him” sometimes in BTY

Thank you for coming back and clarifying. As I said, I agreed with your last message, but I didn’t understand your point about coming out. From this angle, yeah, it’s possible it could make it more difficult if he’s planning to still be releasing music and touring when he does it. I didn’t see any specifics about fans leaving after him singing “I love him.” Do you have a reference for that?

In reference to this

[pompompuriina]

Who are your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters each from Jujutsu Kaisen and Fairy Tail? And why you loved them? And your top 5 favorite moments each from both series? Thx :D

yippeee thank you for the askkk :3 here's my top 5 from jjk:

1. okkotsu yuta, fell in love tbh like i was reading the manga and watching season one in 2020 so when yuta was revealed in s1 (v briefly) i got interested and picked the manga up and ooh la la 😻😻 15 year old me was so captivated by this guy like wdym he's super strong, handsome and also an absolute gentleman??? he's literally my bf please 😕💔 i have a type and i'm not ashamed (dudes that are nervous and shy and look like absolute losers but could actually wreck your shit yes sir)

2. nanami kento; bro IS HIM HE GETS ALL THE BITCHES 😤😤 he's lit a gentleman, makes good money, strong AND he's got great looks???? mans cured my daddy issues INSTANTLY, and in season two??? i was going absolutely FERAL oh nooo season two nanami save me season two nanamiiiii

3. geto suguru, are you noticing a pattern here have you seem this guy, like bro was still him even after he defected wdymmm his high school persona is what got me tho 🤭 i can see why he was more popular than gojo, i like adult geto just as much thou because oh my ghee i need that hair routine

4. zen'in mai AND maki, listen bro, i fucking LOVE LOVE LOVEEEE THE SISTERS. idc. i'll stay defending mai, y'all just don't get her like i do y'all domt get her like iiii doooooo 😫😫 i may be a little more biased towards mai because liek i relate to her sm on a different level but hey, sisters. love those two. lit me.

5. mahoraga. i will not elaborate. all ima say rn is: hear me out.

for fairy tail here's my top five and why i love them sm :3

1. erza scarlet, queen is SLAYING. girl's power is literally to serve absolute cunt while beating the living shit out of you??? what's NOT to love about erza? she rightfully has the title as the fairy queen 🤭

2. lucy heartfilia, tbh she's up there because i wanted to spite the immature little boys in the fandom that hated lucy because she was "weak" (bffr my queen is NOT weak) but i actually grew to like her character a lot because lucy has shown herself to have amazing character development, like you go girl

3. jellal/mystogan, listen man i'm an absolute sucker for this guy, he has me on a chokehold 😞 "it was the color of your hair" sir please, sir PLEASEEEE NOTICE ME I HAVE RED HAIR (my hair is pink) (that's it, that's the reason he's so handsome)

4. zeref. ZEREF IS SO UNDErLOVED. when i said i liked guys who looked absolutely pathetic and look like losers i was NOT joking 💀 bro looks like he listens to pierce the veil or panic at the disco (their old music) and vent to the sadder songs but would absolutely fucking destroy you in one touch 😭

5. ok this is controversial...but acnologia. listen. listen. his human form?? just like mahoraga. hear me out. i will not elaborate.

i don't really have a top five moments from either show, unfortunately :( both are equally amazing to me and there's just too many scenes to pick from, i'd be writing an essay 😭 if i had to choose from one thou, from fairy tail is when natsu sees erza crying and absolutely loses it and jjk is actually in the intro of the first season, where itadori is recording everyone it's just so sweet :( the calm before the storm

[justanamesstuff]

All I Need

Chapter 3

Matty Healy!dad x f!reader

A/N: Chapter 3 is finally here!! Thanks for all the support ♥ Please please please let me know what you think, if you have doubts, what are you excited to read, ANYTHING is welcomed :) Have a nice reading!

Warning: swearing, FLUFF, angst, mixed feelings, typos.

Word count: 2.6 k

MASTERLIST

Y/n let out air, she didn’t acknowledge holding, closing Amelia’s room door. Nap time equals a miracle that day. Her daughter was out like a light, and Y/n was thankful for it. Matty and Y/n didn’t get a good amount of sleep the night before. No due to a good reason. Both of them bumped around 2 o’clock in the proximity of Amelia’s room. A loud, strangled noise coming from her little mouth. They tried everything. They tried to rock her back to sleep, but she wasn’t having it. Too scared after a nightmare.

Matty and Y/n took turns holding Amelia, reading stories and hugging her little frame. Even when she stopped crying, sleep was far.

Every bit of attention was on Amelia. It was the first time in a couple of days that Matty didn’t disappear from Y/n’s presence. Amelia’s mother was truly surprised. Matty asked about what they could do next or proposing ideas that came to his mind, nothing far from that.

For Y/n, the reason for his change of mood seems to be about the tracks George had been sending Matty. He had spent long periods inside the homemade studio. Amelia played around him sometimes. Or he was off to the actual studio. Y/n missed his presence from the first week but, at the same time, it was a good thing thinking about the date. It started to make her anxious, and the prospect of having Matty roaming around would have made the situation worse.

She was convinced that Matty was deeply into work. With time, they would fall into the friendship shenanigans again.

Y/n dragged herself downstairs. She was longing for her bed, for some sleep. Her mother/ adult persona thought otherwise. Nap time was usually the time of day she kept up work stuff and also -if it allowed it- she would do laundry or house cleaning.

The prospect of answering emails from her boss dreaded her. Y/n ungraciously fell on a chair around the kitchen table. She opened her computer, the email page loading as slowly as her brain was functioning.

Matty folded his arms, watching her from the door frame connecting the kitchen and living room. He empathized with her tiredness. Matty couldn’t stop himself from admiring Y/n. Even looking worn out as Y/n seemed, she managed to look beautiful. Her messy bun on top of her head, big hoodie swallowing her body and no makeup on. Amelia had his personality and moped hair as well, even though the beauty came from his mother. All of it.

It was imprinted on his mind how smooth her skin was, the touch of her hair and the warmth she exuded. He shook his head. The tickling of the clock reminding him Friday was coming up. Reminding him, she was going out with stupidly handsome Paul. No him. His stomach flipped inside.

“You should go and take a nap…” Matty startled her, Y/n’s eyes opening fully again. She didn’t notice him or her eyes closing in front of the screen.

“I can’t.” Y/n tried to blink away the tiredness and focus on the first email of a big list.

“Yes, you can.” Matty insisted.

Y/n started to get annoyed. She wasn’t great at taking orders, even less from people that didn’t talk to her for days. She was moody because of lacking sleep, and Matty was presenting as the perfect person to take all her anger with. “You look like shit, you should take a nap! Need it more than me!” She snapped.

Matty didn’t move a single muscle. He didn’t take it personally. Annoying her even more. “Yeah, being a bitch with me won’t supply sleep.” he chose to say. “Come on-” Matty insisted again, with the voice he used for scolding Amelia.

“Fucking leave me alone, Matthew! Fuck off!” Y/n knew she was overreacting, and regret it immediately. He was being nice, but she wasn’t having it with her.

Matty lifted his arms in surrender, his cheeks full of air and his eyes wide. After a minute staring at her side face, he turned around. Returning to his previous position, laying on the couch.

Y/n let her head fall. A few drops fall on her keyboard.

***********************************

Matty was scrolling on his phone mindlessly when Y/n’s frame appeared beside him. He didn’t look up. Faking reading something important or interesting. He wanted to make her pay. For the abrupt, but also because of his sour feelings being hurt days before.

“I’m sorry.” Y/n apologized, sniffing loudly. She didn’t know why the crying started, or even why she couldn’t stop. Matty’s facade shattered into pieces so quickly that it was almost pathetic. Or he thought.

The singer sat up, reaching for her hand. “It's okay, Y/n.” He told her. His voice sounded so tender, it made her cry even more. She felt pathetic this time. “Come here.” He tried to make her come closer to his body. The urge to make her feel better was strong.

“No,no...” She shook her head. A resemblance of Amelia last night.

“Sometimes…” he started drawing circles on the skin of her hand. “I wonder who Amelia took her stubbornness from.” Y/n snorted at that. A first win, made her laugh. “Let’s take a nap”

“Huh?” Y/n looked directly at his eyes. It had been so long since they were that close. His brown eyes were so welcoming, warm, his curls falling perfectly everywhere and for worse he was wearing -what Y/n stated as- Marty’s best hoodie: the Nike blue one.

Matty pattered the couch. “Lay down.”

“Matt…” she didn’t have to ask what he was implying. If she was true to herself, Y/n was dying for a cuddle from him, although her pride was bigger.

He frowned, Y/n wanted to run a finger to sooth it. “If you don’t lay down in two seconds…” He lifted two fingers from the other hand, the one not holding hers. “I can assure you, I’ll make you.”

“Mat-“

“Stop making a big deal out of it.” He was making a big deal out of it inside his head. He was desperate to hold her, at least for two hours. Y/n didn’t read minds, and for her, his sayings wounded her heart. She looked away from him. “Okay, then....”

Matty was true to his word. In a matter of seconds, Y/n came from standing to being pushed into the couch. She gasped loudly when Matty let himself fall beside her. “You are fucking crazy, Matthew Timothy Healy!” She turned her head to look directly at his face. She didn’t expect to be that close.

“You knew it from the beginning. Still…you had a baby with me, darling!” He joked. Y/n blushed hard.

“Shut up.” She hit his shoulder, he laughed. Y/n’s eyes were still red from crying and from being tired. Matty caressed her cheek. Y/n breath stopped. The way she was looking at her was difficult to crack. She chose to hide her face behind her hands.

“Come here.” he instructed, extending his arms. One behind her head, leaving his hand resting on the top of her back. His right arm secured her in place, pressing his hand at the bottom of her spine. Y/n couldn’t help snuggling into his body. A wave of relief washed over her. “You comfy?” his smirk was obvious, even when she wasn’t looking at his face any more.

“Mhm.” Y/n answered drifting already.

Matty chuckled, kissing her forehead. “Sweet dreams.”

It was wrong, but it felt so right to be in his arms again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Matty woke up at the sound coming from the baby call. Amelia was making sounds, not shouting or crying. Just trying to talk, repeating the few words she learned. Mostly daddy and mommy. Matty smiled wide at the thing broadcasting at his right on the coffee table.

He went to stand up, but the weight of Y/n’s head made his head turn to his left side. Y/n didn’t wake up. Matty felt bad to disturb her, but his whole body hurt to the thought of Amelia awake and alone inside her crib. “Y/n…” He started, slowly, his voice deep from sleep. No response. “Y/n” He tried again. This time, the only answer was her coming closer to his body. It was so obvious she was deeply asleep because Matty knew she would never do that while fully conscious. At least when they’d been together, he was the one clinging from her body, starting things and demanding attention. The solo thought of her trusting him at that moment of vulnerability made his heart beat faster. Although, his mind wasn’t slow to remind him: ‘soon she would let Paul do this’. That startled him out of his daydreaming. “Y/n, Amelia is awake-'' The only mention of their daughter woke her.

“Right- Fuck, how long did I sleep?” Y/n rest on her back, Matty still tangled around her. It was addicting to hold her. Matty felt like it was his last time to hold her like that, so he would make the most out of it. Letting the thought of another man touching or holding her aside for the rest of the day.

He stretched to hold his phone, looking at the number above the picture of a tiny Amelia wearing his ‘Sincerity Is Scary’ hat. “We-” he stressed. “We slept for almost two hours, love.”

“Did you sleep too?” Y/n started to lift her body. Missing his warmth.

Still lying down, he smiled “Would have never thought to disturb your princess slumber, so I just held you…at some moment I fell asleep.” he shrugged his shoulders. Y/n avoid his eyes. Matty laughed, lifting himself. “Stay there!” he instructed her. Y/n raised her eyebrow. What was all about with his orders that day? “I’m going to grab mel-mel.”

“Okay.” she accepted because she had zero energy to walk or move from the couch. Once he reached the door, she continued, “But stop bossing me!”

“Oh, you love it!” He wasn’t wrong, but Y/n preferred to keep her silence.

Matty came in a blink of an eye with a happy Amelia wearing one of her soft onesies. “Hi mommy!” Matty lifted Amelia’s tiny arm, waving.

“Mommy, mommy.” She repeated.

“Hello, my darling! Come here.” Y/n lifted her arms, welcoming the weight of her little love. “Did you have nice dreams?” Y/n made conversation with Amelia. The one-year old bubbling away.

Y/n was so focused on Amelia, kissing her rosy cheeks and smelling the scent of her curly hair, so she didn’t notice Matty movement. He went and lay down exactly as he rested on the couch during their shared nap. Y/n sensed him asking for space when his leg bumped into hers. “What are you doing?” Y/n asked.

“Trying to cuddle.” He said, like nothing. Amelia wiggled, trying to get out of Y/n’s hold. She crawled until she reached Matty’s upper body. He rounded her with his arms, and looked up at Amelia’s mom. “Come here. We’re not taking a no for an answer.”

Y/n didn’t understand his behavior. She couldn’t deny it was nice. Y/n felt like they were a proper couple with their daughter, being a family. Like ‘a proper family’. One of those tails talked about. It was false, she knew but the feeling inside her chest was stronger than any reality. She let herself fall beside them.

Amelia’s body between her parents. After some arrangements -Matty held Y/n as before, meanwhile Y/n made her arm a pillow for Amelia–, they settled into a nice conversation. They chatted and laughed like they hadn't done in a very long time. Matty and Y/n felt at peace, and Amelia was excited to have her two favourite people in the world around her.

—---------------------------------------------------------------

“You two what?” Grace shouted, dragging attention from some customers at the supermarket.

“We cuddled…two times in the same day” Y/n repeated as if it were their normal behavior.

Grace left the bag of biscuits, forgetting about their shopping trip. She looked up and down Y/n’s body, trying to figure out what was out of place. “Do I have to remind your little brain that he is not your boyfriend or what?”

Y/n dropped more groceries into the cart, looking directly at Grace. “Yes, Grace. I know we aren’t together. But-”

“But nothing!” Grace complained, folding her arms.

Y/n copied her friend's actions. “But it felt nice…like right.” She assumed.

Grace let her arms fall, moving them exaggerated around. Y/n was grateful the supermarket wasn’t that pact. “Y/n, my love, my best friend, my everything-”

“Cut the shit!”

“I know you are not that dense. Sometimes, I doubt it…TIMES LIKE TODAY!” She shouted; making some customers looked at the pair, wondering what was happening.

Y/n felt embarrassed. Afraid also that someone might recognize her. “Could you keep your voice down? Please!!” Y/n said, through clenched teeth.

“Could you keep your brain functioning? Please!” Grace, without giving importance to where they were at, shot back.

“You don’t get it!” Y/n whispered.

“Oh, no…I do get it. I know he’s the father of your beautiful and adorable baby. Sure, he’s hot and handsome or whatever. I don’t understand how you people believe that because he’s so old, his gray hair-”

“Grace!”

“Right. I know he means a lot to you, but please think out of your gut. One moment of cuteness it’s not equal to be your partner or loving you or… I don’t even know what crosses your mind!!”

“You said you get it!” Y/n said without looking at her, still with her arms folded protecting herself, looking away.

“Some parts…”

Y/n tried to push the trolley forward. “Oh, god!” Grace objecting the passing through.

“Y/n, I really mean it. He’s not going to change only because you cuddle”

“I know! Okay?”

“Do you? Really…do you? Because I’m not at all convinced you fully know.”

“I’m not saying that everything is going to change. I’m not that naive. But what if he wants to try something, and he’s scared to ask. Should I talk to him? Because if he does-”

“HE DOESN’T!” Grace shouted again.

Grace had a solid case, she left Y/n with no arguments. “You’re being impossible!”

“No, I’m being truthful, and you hate it” Y/n’s formed a line and her mouth shut. “Babe, I adore you” Grace rounded the trolley. “I want you to find someone that truly loves you and not some famous and pretentious singer that confuses you. Or should I remind you he wasn’t talking to you?” Y/n purposely ignored that fact. “That he questioned you going out when he goes around fucking everything that moves, ha?” Grace held her hands.

“Yeah…” Y/n tried to suppress the tears coming to her eyes.

“I don’t mean to be harsh or sadistic. I need you to stop focusing on him, okay?” Y/n nodded. “What happened with your rush to ask Paul out?” Grace tried to cheer her up.

Y/n forgot about it since Matty and her spent the evening together. “I-” She stuttered.

“No, you’re not canceling it. I don’t care if Paul ends up being not right to you..or he’s bad in bed or whatever. You’re going!”

Y/n chuckled sadly. “I’m so confused now. Fuck”

“Come here” Grace embraced her into her arms, a bear hug. “You can do it! Fuck Matty Healy!!” Y/n’s friend shook her from side to side.

“Oh, are you ‘the 1975’ fans?” A man passing by asked. Y/n and Grace looked at each other and burst into laughter.

[jojojoy1]

Ajax Petropolus x reader

Summary: you're one of the most popular students at nevermore. You're best friends with Bianca, Yoko(whom is also your roommate), Divina and Kent. However, you are dating Ajax Petropolus, who is shy and quiet, totally not the kind of person you normally surround yourself with. To keep your popularity, you keep your relationship with Ajax a secret. He was fine with that at the beginning, but now he wants to tell people.

You were stood with your best friends, Bianca, Kent, Yoko and Divina, at the fountain, talking about whatever. You had been dating Ajax Petropolus for 3 months now, however, none of your friends knew. You're one of the most popular students at nevermore, Ajax isn't. While you love Ajax, he just doesn't fit your persona. He had agreed to keep your relationship a secret because he wants to be with you, but maybe he wants more.

Ajax POV

I just stared at her. She is so beautiful, I want to go up to her and kiss her right now. But I can't do that cuz I'm not cool enough to be her boyfriend publicly.

3 months ago I thought I was making the right decision when I said we could keep it a secret, but it's killing me. Not even my friends know, and I hate lying to them.

"Ajax! Dude!" Xavier shouted at me, hitting me around the head, "You listening?"

"Of course he's not," Spoke Enid, "He's to busy staring at Y/N" She teased.

"I wasn't staring," I whisper, looking at the table, "I was glancing."

"Dude, you're totally in love with her."

"Go away," I turn to Wednesday hoping she will jump in and change the topic.

"Why don't you ask her out?" Enid exclaims.

"Yeah, take her into Jericho this weekend!" Xavier agrees.

"Guys, can we drop this?" I say. If we continue talking about Y/N I'm gonna tell them everything and she'll be pissed at me.

"Fine," Enid finally backs down, "So, Poe Cup is coming up,"

I stop listening to what their all talking about now. I need to talk to Y/N. I can't keep hiding this anymore.

Normal POV

You were sat in your dorm with Yoko when you got a text from Ajax,

'I'm coming over, we need to talk'

You were confused to say the least. Your relationship was perfect, what could he possibly need to talk to you about.

"Hey, you okay?" Yoko asked when you didn't respond.

"Yeah, fine. Umm, Yoko, Can I cash in one of my 'need you to leave the dorm' tickets."

"Yeah, I'll just go hang with Divina. Was that text really that bad."

"Yeah. Thanks by the way," You say as Yoko grabs a couple things before leaving.

"Sure, Don't worry about it."

...

10 minuets after Yoko left, you here a knock at your door. You get up and open it, and by no surprise Ajax is stood there looking the most stressed ever. He didn't wait for you to let him in, he just walked past you over to your bed.

"A 'hello' would be nice" You say, sarcastically.

"We need to talk."

"Yeah, about what? Everything is fine."

"No it's not!" Ajax had never yelled at you before, it took you by surprise.

"Don't shout at me. Let's talk this through." You walk over to your bed and sit down, encouraging Ajax to do the same.

Ajax sits and puts his head in his hands.

"I want to tell people about us. I want to tell my friends that I'm dating the most beautiful girl in school. I want to stop lying to people. I want to stop feeling like my own girlfriend is embarrassed by me."

You sit in shock at the small outburst. Ajax was a very laid back guy, he would just go with the flow, so these sudden demands of your relationship was a surprise.

"Babe-"

"No! No no no no" Ajax lifted his head from his hands and it was obvious he was crying. "We're not doing the whole 'we'll tell them soon, just give it time' spiel. I'm done waiting. Either we tell them tomorrow morning at breakfast or we break up 'cause it feels like I mean nothing to you. Every time I see you in the quad I always look at you in hope of you acknowledging me, but you don't. Then I have to act like nothing's going on between us when Xavier or Enid says something. It's not fair Y/N. I don't want to keep hiding us. I deserve better. I deserve someone who isn't embarrassed to be seen with me. After I texted you, how long did it take for you to tell Yoko to leave?"

"Ajax I-"

"How long Y/N?"

"Almost immediately" You whisper, embarrassed.

"Y/N, do you really want to be with me?"

"Yes. Yes, of course I do."

"Then start acting like it 'cause I'm not waiting forever."

"We'll tell everyone tomorrow, I promise."

...

The next morning, when you and Yoko left your dorm to walk down to breakfast to meet up with Bianca, Kent and Divina, Ajax made a surprise visit. He was stood outside your dorm waiting for you. When you walked out the door he wrapped his hands around your waist, "Hey, babe."

You got very nervous as you still hadn't told Yoko about you and Ajax, "Hey" You said and kissed him on the cheek.

"So this is the mystery man I had to keep leaving the dorm for." Yoko chuckled, "Not who I expected, but better than what I thought."

"Who did you think I was dating?" You asked, curious.

"Bianca, Divina and I thought you and Kent were hooking up. But this is way better."

"Is that why Divina's been pissed at me recently?"

"Yeah, but she'll be happy you're not fucking her brother."

"We going to breakfast then?" Ajax said.

"Yeah, let's go" You said.

The walk to breakfast was better than you had anticipated. When you walked into the quad to find Bianca, Divina and Kent all eyes turned to you and Ajax holding hands. You guessed Yoko had messaged Bianca on the way down as your normal table was pulled over to make one big table with Xavier, Enid and Wednesday.

You walked over, Yoko going to the other side of the table to sit next to Divina, and of course Bianca had to say something, "Well hello lovebirds!" she semi-shouted as you sat down next to her, Ajax next to Xavier.

"Fuck off." You said, jokingly.

"Morning." Divina said, with the biggest smile you had ever seen.

"You look happy." You teased, laughing.

"I'm very happy." Divina replied.

"SO HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON THEN!?!" Enid yelled in excitement, "'Cause if I'm not mistaken, just yesterday Ajax was seriously pining over Y/N?!"

"We've been going out for 3 months now." Ajax said, a smile covering his entire face.

"THREE! THREE WHOLE MONTHS AND I HAD NO CLUE!" Enid shouted again

"Enid, can you be quieter, soon only dogs will be able to here you." Wednesday said in her same monotone voice.

"Sorry." Enid whispered.

You all eat breakfast and talked until you had to go to class.

Every morning from now on, Ajax would meet you at your dorm and you, him and Yoko would walk to breakfast together, and the tables were always pushed together for you all to sit together. You couldn't be happier, telling everyone was the best decision you had ever made.

[ultfan]

HYPER-SEXUALITY AND THE TRAGEDY.

it's sinday and that means i finally can talk about one of my favorite headcanons about komaeda in the tragedy. strap in folks — and hold your judgement because i know it sounds really fucking funny at first (and it is) but i promise i have deep thoughts about this.

as i've mentioned before, i do believe that komaeda would be hyper-sexual. and i do mean hyper-sexual — not that he has a high sex drive — but rather the fact it is an issue that plagues him and inconveniences him. this, rather than being a proper addiction or even a trauma response, is instead due to his ftd. meaning that this isn't really something he can work on/fix with therapy or most typical ways of treatment. however, hyper-sexuality is one of the handful of ftd symptoms that can be dealt with via medication. and i do believe that komaeda is medicated for his health issues.

however... once the tragedy hits i do not believe that he would be able to keep getting his prescriptions. and even if he could, i don't know if he would. be it the ultimate despair mindset or simply because he has bigger fish to fry. and so, it becomes something at the forefront of his mind again.

now, i have often seen the fandom depict komaeda in the tragedy as a sexual deviant. depravity is welcome in the tragedy and thus he is able to fuck freely. thanks to the existence of the servant persona, some people even go the extra mile with that... (personally, i don't think that "servant" existed prior to udg — but that's another thing for another time). however, despite everything i've said: i think komaeda was the least sexually active member of ultimate despair during their time of operation.

lerf — i hear you cry — how can this be?! well, let's talk about how ultimate despair is:

often it is easy to forget that ultimate despair isn't extremely hedonistic in their actions. they too despair — they may revel in it, but they do cause pain to themselves as they cause pain onto others. they'll kill and torture, but they'll also destroy their own families and bodies. ultimate despair is not indiscriminate in spreading despair. there is suffering on the part of everyone involved. be it via mutilating themselves, starving themselves, or something else.

and so i bring you the thing i have been alluding to for fucking weeks (maybe months???) on this blog at this point: the cage(tm).

aka: the komaeda chastity cage era.

okay, okay, get the giggles out because this is serious business (yes it's also really funny conceptually but stick with me). komaeda's hyper-sexuality is something that is gonna unfortunately plague his mind with constant sexual thoughts and desires. he literally cannot help it. and to prevent him fro alleviating these desires someone (likely junko <3 thanks queen) could lock him up in a chastity cage. which would not only make it fucking worse, but also completely stop him from getting any real satisfaction/gratification even if he did have a sexual encounter. in essence: he is fucking suffering ladies, gentleman, and everything in between.

it is a special brand of torment just for him. it's not a kink thing or anything like that — it's not fun for him at all. it's distracting, it's annoying, it's stressful, and it is a constant source of frustration. and before you comment, yeah this is logistically sound — he can pee, and depending on the type he can probably clean it pretty well if need be. i did my fucking research (i'm committed you guys).

anyway if junko doesn't keep the key i do think the idea of ultimate despair fucking trading it around is super fucking funny. taunt him, bully him, whatever. this is me fighting against overly sexualized version of tragedy komaeda. what if he was sopping wet and pathetic guys? have we considered this? well, now you have.