#and also subsequently kill himself for the sake of his revenge plot

[bottomvalerius]

I really should do more Damien & Hamlet crossovers lmfao

[raayllum]

Moving forward, what do you think is going to be Claudia's motivating Drive?

Viren, at least, was always able to tell himself that he was working for the sake of the Greater Good, but that's not something Claudia has ever cared all that much about-- her first, last, and only real concern has always been her Family. With that pillar removed (not that I think Viren is about to disappear completely, but he's definitely not going to be directly involved with her in quite the same way), what does she have left to fight for?

I mean, obviously Revenge can be a powerful driving motivator-- the whole series kicked off with revenge-induced assassinations, so we know that's not exactly nothing, and I can definitely see it being something pushing Claudia further down her current path.

But (IMHO) the story has also been moving somewhat further away from Cycles of Revenge, and I just can't see that being a strong enough motivator for Claudia when counterbalanced against everything our Heroes are fighting for. (Especially with Soren still holding out hope for her and being a weak chink in her armor.)

What's the piece I'm missing?

In a lot of ways, perpetuating the Cycle has always, indeed, been about seeking Revenge for the loss of loved ones.

Rayla: When I first came here, I was on a quest for revenge. But the minute I saw that egg, everything changed. Now, this is a journey of redemption. / I became so obsessed with revenge that I risked losing the best thing I ever had: you. Ezran: I'm sorry about what happened to your father, and what happened to mine. But we don't have to avenge them. We don't have to strike back. We can't choose peace. Callum: Then it's a cycle. You hurt me, someone will get revenge against the elves. It won't end.

This is also one of the key things that, at first, set Soren and Claudia apart from the bulk of the main cast. At first, Harrow and Viren weren't seeking revenge (the Magma Titan) but then they both succumbed to it (killing Thunder) and it continued to snowball from there. In spite of losing their families, Callum, Rayla, and Ezran chose to shed the cycles of revenge their parents (Harrow and Runaan) had partaken in to try and break it instead.

Conversely, Soren and particularly Claudia have been largely removed from the Cycle of Revenge... until 3x09 and firmly in 5x09. Soren and Claudia lost a family member, but their mother is alive and chose to leave. While they've experienced forms of loss, they've never had to literally grieve a death. Although Soren has complicated feelings about his dad, he's ultimately more relieved than anything else regarding his dad's death ("Dad is dead, Claudia. You don't have to do what he wants anymore"—4x07) and angry/despairing when it's reversed (yelling no in show / Soren snarled. “Why couldn’t you just stay dead?”—TDP Reflections: Strangers).

Aaravos dangled Viren over Claudia's nose like a carrot dangling from a stick, and she followed. He didn't offer her revenge, but a way to save her father. But the same trick won't work twice on her. Claudia isn't going to try to bring Viren back again — it'd be a repeat and wouldn't progress her character any further — but she also can't walk away from Aaravos, because she's our sole primary antagonist outside the mirror and still might have a role in freeing him. And if she walks away from Aaravos, she's also going to be walking out of the plot, and we can't have that. Thus, I think power — and subsequent revenge — is about the only thing Aaravos would have left to offer her.

It gives her an incentive to 1) go after the prison and/or 2) generally do Aaravos' bidding, and if she couldn't defeat the trio without his help the first time, allying herself with him is the biggest way she can level up as a threat in terms of just like, power scaling.

There are also still a few bits of information that Aaravos knows but Claudia doesn't (that Rayla was responsible for Viren's death, and that Viren lied in 3x03; although for the latter, that's more something she couldn't or wasn't willing to accept) that could spur her further into well, going wonderfully apeshit.

Revenge is more of a fine motivator for her in 4x09 (tricking Rayla, although Terry gets her to turn around) and in S5 with the dragon (smirking and smiling about having the upper hand, making it scared of her) and in her altercations with the trio.

So yeah, my vote is on revenge — for better or definitely worse!

Obligatory fanon s6 fic plug in because of Claudia's revenge arc getting underway

[jokerfan99]

My Top 10 Favorite Anime Villains (Updated) by DarkChild316

In a different time and a different world, I did a list of “My 10 Favorite Anime Villains”. I am older now, and hopefully much wiser and now thanks to the global pandemic and my new subscriptions to Hulu and Funimation I’ve had the opportunity to go back and revisit so many classic anime that I feel like I should re-do it. Plus I’ve gone back and looked at my previous list and shook my head thinking to myself: “My God man, what in the f**k were you thinking with some of these choices!” So, I’ve gone back and redone the list, now this list is strictly for the men only. If you want to see a list dedicated to my favorite female villains, check out my list of “My Top 10 Favorite Anime Villainesses.” But for this list, here is my updated list of My Top 10 Favorite Anime Villains:

#10. Shishiho Makoto (Rurouni Kenshin): Growing up as a kid, Ruroni Kenshin was one of the first anime I had ever watched, and this guy was someone who I hated with a passion. Looking back at it years later, I realize now what an amazing villain and foil to Kenshin that Makoto was. Unlike a lot of villains on this list, Makoto wasn’t just evil for the sake of being evil, Makoto’s evil came from the worst type of trauma: betrayal! In this case the betrayal came from Makoto’s own government, where Makoto survived not only multiple gunshots, but being doused in oil and burned alive, leaving him in complete and utter agony. What puts Shishio on my list is what he manages to do after surviving death. He compiles an army of the best fighters Japan has to offer and plots to overthrow the entire Meiji Government. While in complete agony. Who else can claim that? Did I also mention he’s topping the list of the best fighters in the show? His swordsmanship is second only to Kenshin himself as he proves in their absolutely epic fight.

#9. Hisoka Morrow (Hunter x Hunter): Hunter x Hunter is a show with several great villains that truly stand out, and while Meruem was memorable, pardon me for believing that Hisoka was the standout villain from that show. A devious killer and master Nen user, Hisoka is driven by little more than his desire to find and kill strong opponents. Be they young children or master criminals, he’ll pursue them to the ends of the Earth with a bloodlust on par with that of a wild predator. Likewise, he doesn’t care what happens to himself or others in this pursuit. Mass civilian casualties, the loss of his own villainous allies or even the loss of his own limbs barely phases him, so long as he gets to fight with someone that tests his limits. As a result, he more often than not embodies chaos incarnate, wreaking havoc in his pursuit of battle and leaving a mountain of corpses behind him. Needless to say, this puts him at odds with the series’ protagonists at regular intervals. Not only do Gon and his friends fit the bill for what he seeks, but they often take on enemies that prove to be exactly what Hisoka is looking for. And yet, this also serves to make him all the more interesting. Where other villains might strike out at the protagonists and heroes immediately, Hisoka schemes, allies himself with and double-crosses people regularly, always finding the best angle to work in order to reach his goals. He may not be a world-ending anime villain on the level of a Meruem with seismic ambitions, but he’s undeniably the most interesting and brilliant villain in Hunter x Hunter to see at work.

#8. Izaya Orihara (Durarara!!): If you think of a list of top anime villains and this guy isn’t one of the first people who comes to mind, please raise your hands so I can have a few words with you in private with no cameras or eyewitnesses. The crazy thing about Izaya is that he doesn’t even realize he’s evil, and that’s what makes him great. He loves humanity; from the depths of his bones he loves us all. This is why he makes it onto my list; he does progressively more cruel acts against humans, putting people in situations that generally lead to their deaths. He is also a master of parkour and highly skilled with a switchblade in his hand (as evident in the above picture), which he generally only uses in dire situations or fights against Shizuo. In short, I absoulutely love this guy. I thoroughly enjoyed the way he manages to manipulate an entire populous, and that’s why he’s more than earned a spot on my list.

#7. Dio Brando (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure): You might have thought it was someone else, but it was me, Dio! All meme-worthy jokes aside, Dio Brando is unquestionably one of the most iconic anime villains of all time and, thanks to his series’ late-blooming popularity outside of Japan thanks largely to the 2012 anime adaptation, one that still feels modern in our minds. Dio is a tenacious bastard that takes advantage of the generosity of the Joestar family to further his own power, being intolerably dickish to Jonathan by constantly tearing him down, trying to make him look bad in front of his dad, spreading rumors to sully his reputation, and sabotaging his relationships. This escalates into killing his dog (his f***ikg dog of all things!), poisoning and later stabbing his adoptive father (I mean WTF!), and becoming a freakin vampire. Even after decapitation, Dio gets his revenge and sets in motion many of the events of the series, making a formal return in Stardust Crusaders as the main villain once again. With raw ambition taken to the extreme, iconic lines, poses, and outfits, incredible abilities from Aztec mask-induced vampirism and the time-stopping power of The World, Dio’s menacing presence towers over his series and over anime as a whole, which makes him MORE than deserving of a spot on my list.

#6. Light Yagami (Death Note): Yes, he’s a VILLAIN, get over yourselves Light Yagami fanboys! Anyway, there are a number of different adjectives and superlatives that could be used to described the lead character of Death Note: Diabolical, calculating, and determined to make the world in his own image all describe Light who was easily the most clever man in  Death Note, as evidenced by the layers upon layers that composed his elaborate plans.  Light started out as a good kid, doing well in school and heading to a bright career in police work like his father. But when he gets possession of the death note, he begins a remarkable descent into a disturbing mastermind who becomes judge, jury, and executioner for the entire world. But what truly makes Light's character stand out remains complicated throughout the story. His ultimate goal is to make the world a happier, safer place; a noble but perhaps misguided goal. His idealism and nobility still shine through when he doesn’t have the Death Note. When he temporarily relinquishes ownership of the death note to throw L off his trail, Light loses all memory of the death note and he reverts to his normal personality. His sense of morality returns and he shows more compassion for those around him. He even refuses to use Misa Amane to get information out of her when L asks him to. These qualities help to create a complex character who ends up being a detestable villain, yet you still kind of root for him to come out of this story as a winner. Light’s progression through the series is marked by his sheer brilliance. He's got a calculated and strategic mind that would make the great philosopher Machiavelli jealous, and the power of the death note adds a callousness that makes him free to use people in whatever way necessary to accomplish his goals. It’s highly entertaining to see his intricate plans play out. But Light’s messiah-like ego is just as big as his brain, and that arrogance ultimately leads to his tragic downfall.

#5. The Major (Hellsing): An evil Nazi Scientist, I know everyone is just rolling their eyes right now thinking I’m reaching for the low-hanging fruit for this one, but just hear me out here. While he may seem like an obvious pick for a list like this, The Major’s goals, however, are somehow far more unhinged than what may first appear. Despite being an impassioned orator and uncompromising strategist willing to sacrifice countless soldiers, the Major himself had no especial loyalty or passion for the cause of Millennium. His sole obsession is to plunge the world into an unending conflict to the point of endangering not only the lives of others but also his own. The Major’s leadership of Millennium, his decades espousing the genocidal ideology of fascists, and subsequent war against the Hellsing organization, the Vatican, and the entire world serve only as a pretext to satiate his insatiable bloodlust. The Major is one of anime’s most insidious villains, a charismatic, nihilistic sociopath driven purely by his sadomasochistic death wish.

#4. Shou Tucker (Fullmetal Alchemist): Now, you may be recalling that in my previous version of this list, I had Envy listed as my choice as my favorite villain from this show. Well after careful reconsideration, I’ve had to reevaluate my decision and give that spot to this creep, because while Envy’s actions were despicable to a point, they PALE in comparison to this guy! He only really appears in one episode if I remember correctly, yet in that one single episode, he made more of an impact then most villains make in a lifetime, which really says a lot about this guy’s character. What was it that made him so memorable you ask? Well, it could have something to do with the fact that this man transmutaed his own dog and daughter to create a talking chimera, which hadn’t been done before, and for what other reason…all in the name of recognition in the world of alchemy! That mere fact alone made this guy the most hated man in all of anime, the fact that he sacrificed his own family for the sake of fame, with absolutely no hint of remorse, made this guy the definition of an absolute living piece of shit and the only thing worse is how the episode ended, but I won’t spoil that one for you if you haven’t seen it.

#3. Gendo Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion) Up next is a man competing with the likes of Medusa Gorgon for the title of “Anime’s Worst Parent”, Gendo Ikari, please step up to the front of the congregation. Now Gendo is a man who’s list of atrocities throughout Evangelion is far too many to name, but I’m going to try my best to list them here: You have being actively complicit in the premature instigation of a biblical apocalypse, resulting in a near extinction-level event that caused the death of nearly two-thirds of the human population. Emotionally neglecting his own son Shinji estranging himself from him for over twelve years, only to offer him up as a sacrificial pawn in his bid to artificially bootstrap humanity’s ascent into evolutionary godhood so that he could be reunited with his dead wife. Cloning said wife’s DNA into a harem of emotionally dependent albino ingenues who share a dogged infatuation for their creator. And that’s not even mentioning the horrific emotional abuse and mental manipulation he inflicts on Dr. Ritsuko Akagi and her mother Naoko. All-in-all Gendo is proof positive that love not only has the capacity to overcome any obstacle, but sometimes it can truly make monsters out of us all.

#2. Griffith (Berserk): Griffith did nothing wrong; at least, not by his own drives and ambitions. A peasant who grew to become the leader of his own mercenary band, Griffith was a self-driven man who pursued his desires with unparalleled efficiency. No matter the situation or obstacle, he found a way to overcome them, whether that meant facing down an army of thousands or assassinating a country’s leaders. All the while, he amassed a legion of friends and followers who would follow him to hell and back, caring for him as much or more than he cared for them. As a result, they were dragged down with him when his ambitions saw him imprisoned, tortured and maimed. They cared little though, risking life and limb to save him and help him salvage a life with what he had left. That wasn’t enough for Griffith though. When given the option to become a demon and continue the pursuit of his dreams, he whole-heartedly accepted it; even though it came at the cost of sacrificing the lives of each and every one of his friends and allies. But that wasn’t the worst of it, to further spite the early desertion of Guts, Griffith proceeds to rape Casca, Guts’ love interest, in front of him as Guts is held down by demons. So yes, Griffith did nothing wrong by himself. By everyone else though, he did them the worst of injustices, and continues to do so with each breath he takes, all of which makes him a compelling and infuriating villain.

#1. Johan Liebert (Monster): I’ve covered a wide variety of monsters (pun fully intended) on this list, but THIS monster (again, pun FULLY intended) truly takes the cake when it comes to anime villains. A serial killer who would fit in well in any blockbuster film, Monster told the story of a man who had truly become monstrous; a charismatic, intelligent sociopath with no other goal than to kill everyone else in the world. Johan didn't just kill people, he made other people into monsters just like him. This skill of his corruption is first displayed in his youth, when he used stories to convince the other boys in his orphanage to kill all the staff, and each other. Johan is often compared to Light Yagami of Death Note, but the two couldn’t be any more different. Light's fatal (and genius) flaw is his own ego, which leads him to put his own life above all else, even his goal of changing the world. But Johan has never been afraid of death. Quite the opposite, he welcomes and embraces it, being more than willing to put his own life at risk, and one of his signature traits is how he challenges people to shoot him. Another of Jonah’s signature traits is his skills as a masterful manipulator. Where Light and other on this list had to resort to supernatural means to get what they wanted, Johan just used his own wits and knowledge of human nature. He's easily the most frightening villain on this list because he’s the truest to life villain on this list and he exposes the base human nature of his victims and of human society. Monster's remarkable story was almost entirely due to Johan alone, and it’s why he’s #1 on my list.

So that's my updated list, what did you guys think about it? Love it, hated it? Go on and tell me what you think and let me know who your favorite anime villains are. See you soon!!!

Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/darkchild316

[recurring-polynya]

What are your thoughts on Bazz-B? He and Renji seemed to have developed a good rapport and I feel that they would’ve been good frenemies had be survived. I can imagine them exchanging fashion tips which would have interesting results!

I imagine that in another universe, they could have been friends, but I feel like the fact that Bazz grievously injured/ambiguously killed one of Renji’s best friends would put a big damper on that.

I really, really, really do not like the Sternritters. I don’t even like them as villains. Out of them, Bazz is probably the least objectionable, but I still don’t like him.

Here are a few thoughts on why, but I’m gonna put them under a cut, because that’s my policy when I say critical things about characters. If you like the Sternritters, I’m glad for you and please feel free to skip the rest of this post!

One of the major themes of Bleach has always been about moral ambiguity, that people are rarely pure heroes or villains. In the earliest episodes, Rukia warns Ichigo to kill Hollows from behind, to never try to glimpse the person they once were, advice that Ichigo roundly rejects as he’s constant turns enemies into friends/allies. This works really well at the beginning of the series and... less well each time we got through this.

My understanding is that Kubo’s original plan for Bleach ended after the Soul Society Arc, and that makes sense to me, because it seems so well plotted out to me, and then the subsequent arcs just seems to try to be recapturing the magic. The thing that is coolest to me about this arc is that the shinigami characters have real depth, and that our initial impressions of them are insufficient. The Gotei is going through an existential crisis, where an injustice (Rukia’s execution) is being prosecuted, and in addition, Aizen has laid a groundwork of mistrust and misinformation. You have characters like Renji, Kira, and Hinamori, who are torn between their orders and deep personal feelings. You have bystanders like Hisagi and Komamura, who don’t really have skin in the game, but feel a sense of unease about the way things are going. You have characters who seem sympathetic-- when Aizen comforts Hinamori that Renji won’t be fired, and the fact that Tousen seems to be someone who would be on the side of justice if only he had the full story, that turn out to be disingenuous. Then you have characters like Kenpachi, who, at least in the second half of the arc, is on Ichigo’s side, but not really for any noble reason, just because he likes Ichigo and also he wants an excuse to fight other captains. There’s Kurotsuchi, who is nominally on the side of the good guys, but is not, in fact, a good person. By the end of the arc, I feel like Kubo has done a really good job of presenting a diverse group of people who live in a flawed system and who were played by someone who took advantage of that. I have no objection at all to the idea that Ichigo considers many of the shinigami his friends afterward, including a very strong friendship with Renji, who is presented as a villain initially.

The Arrancar arc, is more of a mixed bag for me. I still think it mostly works. Arrancar are not humans. They follow Aizen, but in some ways, they are also his victims-- post-Arc, I don’t find myself begrudging any of the surviving Espada for having gone along with him. They are Hollows, and they come from a life of violence and anger and brutality. They have risen above that, which means different things to the various Espada. Harribel, Starkk and Nel are all sympathetic, even tragic characters. Nnoitra and Szyalapollo are monstrous, but in the way that terrible humans are monstrous. Grimmjow is an interesting character, because he falls somewhere in the middle.

I read a fair amount of GrimmIchi fic, because a) it often features Renruki as a side ship and b) there are a lot of really, really talented GrimmIchi writers, but I do not love the ship for it’s own sake, and it’s mainly for one reason: Grimmjow purposely hurt Ichigo’s friends in front of him, and I do not think that’s a thing Ichigo would take lightly. Now, one of the things that make GrimmIchi writers so good is that they are often willing to do the heavy lifting of examining Grimmjow’s brutality, and way Ichigo views the Hollow within himself (for some people, this is even one of the attractions of the pairing). We get a lot of canon scenes with Grimmjow in various situations-- when he backtalks Aizen, when he “rescues” Orihime from Loly and Menoly, when he tries to get her to heal Ichigo just so he can fight him again, when we see him willing to fight his fellow Espada. He’s a meaty character and there’s a lot to dig into. I would still, someday, like to see Ichigo say, “Hey Grimmjow, y’know, you badly hurt my friend Rukia and it messed me up a bunch and I am having trouble getting over it,” and for Grimmjow to have to deal with that. (Polynya, you say, didn’t Rukia kill one of Grimmjow’s Fraccion like 5 minutes earlier? Yes, she did, and whether Grimmjow would respond with “yeah, well, Rukia killed my friend and it hurt my feelings too!” vs. “yeah, well, Rukia killed my friend and you don’t see me crying about it!” are both really interesting ways you could take this)

ANYWAY, getting back to the Quincy. From our earliest introduction to Uryuu in the series, we know that Quincy ought to have a legitimate beef with Soul Society. For starters, there is their underlying philosophical difference: Quincy don’t think that the shinigami do enough to protect the Living World, and they have taken matters into their own hands. They want to see Hollows annihilated, rather than purified. Then, on top of that, the shinigami eradicated their people, and treated them like lab rats. You could spin a lot of gold out of this, but instead, we got the Thousand Year Blood War Arc.

The Quincy are, basically humans with powers, and yet they are extremely bloodthirsty and cruel. We see Bambietta killing people to blow off steam, they take glee in killing lesser opponents (both Hollow and shinigami), As Nodt tortures Byakuya rather than just killing him cleanly, Giselle takes over Bambietta’s body in a horrifying way. Yhwach chastises Yamamoto for having “gone soft”, and says “you used to be cooler when you were a murderer.” The Vandenreich isn’t about justice or improving the system, it’s just about revenge and power and proving racial superiority. Are y’all ready for the hottest take I have ever had? Here it is: The Bount Arc, which is bad and should feel bad, provided a more well-characterized and relatable set of villains than the Thousand Year Blood War Arc.

I mentioned earlier that out of all the Sternritter, Bazz is the best of a bad lot. He gets some good flashbacks and his story evokes both Renji and Rukia’s childhood relationship as well as Gin and Rangiku’s. He's shown hating Yhwach in his youth, but then it’s never really followed up on. Nothing about this works to make me like Bazz, though, it just makes me feel like Yhwach is terrible, a person who ruins lives in both big and small ways.

I honestly hate the scenes where Bazz and Renji banter. Up until this point of the story arc, we have been slammed over and over with how much worse the Quincy are than previous villains. They cause massive destruction, they maim and kill beloved characters. Then, halfway through the arc, Kubo suddenly tries to start walking this back. Byakuya and Kenpachi were supposed to never fight again, but, uhhhh, Byakuya got healed in the Royal Realm and Kenpachi... got better? Look, we fixed Kira! Mayuri brings everyone back as zombies, that’s cool? Let’s have some banter, ha ha, the Quincy are fun! I don’t want to blame Kubo on this because he wasn’t feeling well and also, all of this smacks of editorial pressure, but it doesn’t sit well with me. It seems out of character to me for Renji to joke with someone who has hurt his friends and destroyed his home, and I sometimes justify it in my mind by saying that Renji probably doesn’t know that Bazz was the one who hurt Kira, but in some ways that makes things worse.

To be honest, a much better way to humanize the Quincy would have been to do so through Uryuu. One of the huge flaws of this arc is that there is so little focus on him, the character who ought to tie all this together. Uryuu has been harping for years that shinigami are his enemy and that he’s proud of his heritage. This is literally exactly what he has always says he wanted, and the fact that I, the reader, never believed for a microsecond that his loyalties were divided speaks to how awful the Quincy must be. How did Yhwach first approach Uryuu? It would have been cool to be introduced to the Vandenreich via the narrative device of Uryuu’s introduction. Was anyone nice to him? Do the Quincy have any redeeming value? What if there had been a scene where Bazz-B is goofing around, maybe training with someone, and Uryuu says to himself, “He reminds me of Renji and I hate all of the feelings that are currently in my body”? That would make a cool fanfic, actually, and anyone who wants can have that idea because I will never, ever write fanfic about the Sternritter.

Finally, on a note about fashion, the Sternritter uniforms (along with all their other symbolism) skirts way too close to “Nazi” for my tastes, and one more thing I hate about them is that they have retroactively ruined Uryuu’s aesthetic for me.

[juulsvaughn]

luna glass ( 20 / kristine froseth / columbia university ) 

born into money, prestige and pressure to live up to all of it • it was essentially decided for her that she’d get into columbia and, subsequently, a high ranking within the circle of teeth • she’s always been an antagonistic, entitled brat, but achieving these goals while her sister did not only exacerbated it • now drunk with power as a result • doesn’t understand the concept of not getting what she wants, because she’ll try and take it even if she doesn’t • worst comes to worst, she just plots her revenge • actually, worst comes to worst, she impulsively slashes your tires • rolls her eyes at the circle of teeth virgins because she thinks “experience” makes her wiser than them • by experience i mean fucking a stranger in a burger king parking lot again • it doesn’t matter whether or not she killed richard brennan, she still drunkenly uses “i’ll kill you next” as a threat 

grady evans ( 21 / alex fitzalan / pace university )

jerk with a heart of jerk • had a mother too busy for him and a father who played trophy husband; learned to resent one and follow the lead of the other • unrelated: hates the term “mommy issues” • yet, taking after his negligent mother when it comes to the two kids he fathered • tl;dr on the family life: has been molded into moderately misogynistic pussy slayer with zero ambition • does whatever the fuck he wants whenever he wants • but doesn’t think, just opens his mouth and lets garbage spew out • but also doesn’t really care • no idea how to function as an adult living on his own - if he can pay someone else to do it instead of doing it himself, he will • doesn’t play nice unless he’s trying to fuck you • life is just a huge joke to him

roxy zamora ( 20 / alexa demie / new york university )

talents include: hazing pnms, surviving drug cocktails and, most importantly, lying • often overdramatic for the sake of being overdramatic • will do absolutely anything for attention • most importantly, loves good and bad attention equally • but, in the end, always finds a way to play the victim • overdressed (and probably too slutty) for every occasion • speaks only in lies, but has become quite adept at it • has a dramatic different story for every person she meets - but, of course, so it doesn’t get out, “you’re the only one i’ve told this, so you can’t tell anyone, okay?” • often steals other people’s tragic backstories to do this • overall, will do anything to make sure she’s your #1 • always trying to be the cool mysterious girl with a Tragic Past but also a lot of wild fucking stories who everyone wants to be friends with • some of them are true • the rest? exaggerated • mostly just wants everyone know her name and worship it 

dashiell king ( 20 / timothee chalamet / new york university )

has logged over 2000 movies on letterboxd and that’s why he’s better than you • pretentious fuck • giant but delicate ego • thinks he deserves it because his work ethic when it comes to his art is hard to match (according to him) • but actually really stupid regarding anything that isn’t film • yet thinks everyone around him is the stupid one • fuckboy but like secret fuckboy? truly he does not see this about himself and will never own it • likes to think he’s rly good at playing sweet and innocent anyway • and when he hurts your feelings he will not think he’s done anything wrong • just cannot take responsibility for himself • flighty and cannot process anyone’s emotions but his own • not actually convinced anyone but him has emotions bc he truly just thinks the world revolves around him • big theatre kid energy • too many unsaved numbers in his phone from tinder

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, REY! You’ve been accepted for the role of LAMPRIUS. Admin Julie: when I was writing Lucien there was a part of me desperate to see how his desire to revenge could culminate in a greater way, and Rey, you nailed it to a T. Reading this application word-for-word, piece-by-piece, really showed me just how much you understand Lucien and who he is in the ways that matter. From his profession, to his general attitude towards life, to how he uses his own name as a mask and the lengths he’ll go to ensure that mask stays in place? Ugh, just, like, kill me now. It was a wonderful read, and with the plots you’ve provided, I cannot wait for you to absolutely wreak havoc with him on the dashboard. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

OUT OF CHARACTER IN CHARACTER

Alias | Rey

Age | 25+

Preferred Pronouns | She/Her

Activity Level | I am able to log in at least once a day! On a scale of 1 to 10, I would say 7. 

Timezone | PST

How did you find the rp?  | Current player referral! 

Current/Past RP Accounts | https://revoluticn.tumblr.com/

IN CHARACTER

Character | Lamprius - or Lucien. 

These days, you have your husband’s last name, Ivarsson but it’s hard to remember what your family name was before that. Or more like, you have willfully forgotten it. You aren’t of a bloodline or a people, but of a city - and that is Verona. Your pain created you, the streets molded you, and the Witches defined you. This city is as much you as you are it. When you think of yourself, you first think not of the name your mother gave you (Lucien) but the name you were given and have subsequently chosen: Lamprius. Everyday when you wake up , you have the opportunity to mold yourself into whatever this city needs you to be in order to keep the balance; you have the opportunity to rename yourself and recreate yourself, and every day you wake up and you choose Lamprius. The soothsayer. There’s power in the truth and you know it’s what this city needs more than anything else. 

What drew you to this character? | 

Revenge, a dish best served cold, also happens to be my favorite meal. Time and time again I find myself drawn to characters that are driven or motivated by revenge. Over the course of his skeleton, Lamprius’s personal journey with his revenge goes through its own metamorphosis and I’ve fallen in love with that journey. 

After the unjust death of his father, it is Lamprius’ drive for revenge that causes the Witches to notice him and deem him worthy enough to recruit. But Lamprius stands out from your average vendetta-boi because he is a character that must quell the impulse to act on his personal vendettas for the sake of the greater good (which, in this case, means for the sake of the city.) Unlike other literary characters that have similar motivators, ones who will eventually transcend their need for revenge or be consumed by it, Lamprius learns to live with the dissatisfaction that he’ll never really get what he really wants… and he must learn to be okay with that. The Witches have instilled in him a greater sense of purpose, they’ve given him the resources and the tools to keep Verona in line. After the passing of his mother, the three of them even give him a family. For the longest time, Lamprius is a character who attempts to rise above their own personal need for vengeance and is instead trying to focus on giving Verona what it needs: balance. He finds acceptance in that. 

And then the Witches die. 

Suddenly, that taste for vegengence he’s held at arm's length for so long becomes the very way he is going to protect the Witches' legacy.  Suddenly, Lamprius feels justified in his want to burn the Montagues and the Capulets from the inside out. Now, in Lamprius’ eyes, purging the city of the Montagues and Capulets is the best way to bring back that balance to the city. I think of him like Adrian Veidt from Watchmen, willing to go to absurd extremes for the sake of humanity. 

Lamprius’ history with the Witches has really piqued my interest as well. His connection to them reminds me so much of Arya Stark’s “a girl has no name” arc from Game of Thrones (the tv show. I’ll admit, I could never get past GRRM’s writing to finish the books.) In many ways it doesn’t matter who Lamprius was before he was with the Witches, because a big part of his story is the erasure of his old self and the ascension into something new thanks to their tutelage. Who are the Witches then? An enigma, even in their death (perhaps more so in their death.) Lamprius’ connection to this clandestine trio feels like it is fraught with opportunity to create some really interesting lore that draws from other secret societies or underground networks of spies that have a code of morals or a higher goal. 

Even in his day to day interactions, Lamprius feels like such a fun character to write. He’s cunning and quiet and he becomes a pillar of Verona’s community maybe because of his perceived kindness - or maybe because he is a very good puppeteer. His quiet and kind persona is a wonderful mask for something far more layered underneath. As seen with his connection to Loretta, he has the ability to get people to trust him, hence his unending list of contacts. It’s too easy to call Lamprius ‘good’ because of his quiet nature, peel back his skin and you will see he is one of the rare characters that is a true neutral. He has a greater loyalty to the city as a whole than any specific group of people. Lamprius has the ability to be as dark as he is light, as viscous as he is soft. I imagine him a chameleon, not necessarily one with malicious intent, simply one who can weaponize their empathy. Over the years, the Witches have taught him plenty, including how to see through the eyes of many. Lamprius is the soothsayer who doesn’t shy away from deceit; he understands one’s lies can reveal greater truths about themselves. Rarely does one get to play characters that are truly this fluid. 

I’m really excited to explore where Lamprius goes from here and I’ve outlined some of my thoughts on it below: 

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? | 

I. “SOME RISE BY SIN, AND SOME BY VIRTUE FALL.” 

You are a Witch and, like all the Witches that came before you, Verona is your city to watch over. For years Hecate, Circe, and Medea placated your need for revenge by reaffirming a higher call. They gave you family when you needed it most. They not only gave you the tools for a better city, but they gave you purpose and hope as well. Verona is a city torn up by war, your life has been altered by it first hand, and in you they saw a chance to take that pain and shape it into a force for good. 

And then the Witches, in all their goodness, were strung up by the very city they were trying to save. 

It has set you on a single-minded path of revenge. Your teachers are dead and you are a student who, for the first time, must decide on their own. And your decision is this: the gangs of this city will rot Verona from the inside out if you don’t do something. You are a Witch and Verona is your city to watch over. For the first time, there is no one to stop you from stepping onto this single-minded path. 

[ Revenge. Lamprius is actively looking to bring about the end of the Capulets and the Montagues. He plans on doing this through  finding and aligning himself with people who have also been wronged by this war. It takes one to know one, and Lamprius can tell when someone has the same steady heart for vengeance as him. He intends to harness other’s need for revenge to fuel this movement. He’s already shown Harley a card from his hand and he thinks Loretta has what it takes to be a player. Armand, however, might be a mistake….but only time will tell. While his skeleton particularly calls out how he sees this in Harley, Loretta, and Armand, I imagine this could be a broader plot too as he interacts with as many citizens of Verona as he can. At the end of the day, anyone who thinks the way he thinks, who believes what he believes, is welcome to help… though Lamprius is not foolish enough to think that all alliances come without price. Not only would I love to see Lamprius rack up alliances, I would love to see him rack up promises and debts associated with those alliances.] 

II. “GOD HAS GIVEN YOU ONE FACE, AND YOU MAKE YOURSELF ANOTHER.” 

You were always skilled at slipping into people’s lives without putting on too much of a show. They’d blink and suddenly you’d be there, as certain and unwavering as the truth, as integral to their livelihood as the foundation of any home. You can physically only be in one place at one time, but the Witches taught you how to transcend your limitations by using the eyes and ears of others. 

Trust is earned and you earn it through careful orchestration. You play coincidence like a symphony. A broken in-apartment, and you are the one there to help the scared tenant. An ailing mother, and you are the visitor whose own mother is dying in the hospital room next door. “I know where you’re coming from, believe me,” are words that have left your mouth so many times, they may as well be the air that fills your lungs. 

You are a therapist as your day job; respected as a doctor, trusted as a friend. People burden you with their innermost truths and you play whatever part they need you to be in order to make them feel like you’ve fixed them. There’s never a dry eye on your office couch by the end of a session and all of these people, some who have only known you for a grand total of one hour, think of you as their closest confidante. As well as they know, they are the same to you. A small suggestion here, a gentle prod there, and suddenly they are set off on a new path of your own devices. You’re both a ghost and a shadow, simultaneously ever present and constantly shifting. Your empathy is fluid, just like the rest of you.

You find yourself setting up a chessboard, as you seek out allies in all these people that you meet. You know the importance of a long game -your patience is unparalleled- but you are not afraid to knock a piece off the board if you must. You are the Soothsayer who gets to the truth of things through lies. 

[ One of my favorite implications of the skeleton is that Lamprius is a puppeteer. He creates these Rube Goldbergian schemes that utilize the natural way of the city to bring about an allyship with someone. He is the butterfly that flaps its wings and creates a tornado, and nothing is ever a coincidence. I really want to lean into this with his plots. As mentioned, his friendship with Loretta Delluci shows that he’s not beneath orchestrating an introduction. But, as also seen in the case of Loretta, it’s clear that if Lamprius sees this whole thing as a game of chess, there are some people that are pieces while there are others that are players. He’s too good to let this perspective slip past his lips uncensored, but even if it did, his job as a therapist is an easy explanation for his tendency to psychoanalyze. Are there moments when he borderline feels like Hannibal Lector from the show Hannibal? Absolutely. I’d love him to actually be the therapist for some of the other characters and I would like every new person he “meets'' to never be a coincidence. Or, when a true coincidence occurs, I want it to genuinely surprise him. One of Lamprius’ traits is that he has a lot of resources and while a lot of those are inherited from the Witches, he’s obtained plenty from the connections he forms as well.

Also: Ya boi’s a therapist. Verona really needs therapy. ]

III. “BY THE PRICKING OF MY THUMBS, SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES” 

You’ve seen what it’s like to be a God to men who don’t even believe in higher powers. There are men in Verona who refuse to pray at a pew, but still think twice before speaking ill of a Witch. This is the way things should be - but it doesn't take long for men to see themselves as God-Killers. 

How do they not see how they’ve damned their city! The Witches, in all their mystery, were not esoteric about their love for Verona. Yes, your time with them has instilled a great need to avenge them, but it has similarly inspired a need to see them reborn stronger than ever. 

Verona needs a new set of Witches. It’s a truth that you, Lamprius the Soothsayer, cannot deny. 

[ Time to form a new coven! As Lamprius goes about enacting his revenge, I also want him to seek out other truly neutral characters in the hopes of creating a new set of Witches to watch over Verona. I would love to set it up like a secret society - Verona’s very own Illuminati. A clandestine organization that has the same intentions of Watchman's Ozymandias. Lamprius would be just as vigorous as Hecate, Circe, and Medea to make sure he chose right. I am also eager to see what changes to the Witches’ creed comes with this new version.] 

IV. “VENGEANCE IS IN MY HEART, DEATH IN MY HAND, BLOOD AND REVENGE ARE HAMMERING IN MY HEAD.”

Everyday you try to become something a little more than human. There’s a merciless level of selflessness that comes with avenging the Witches and each day you work hard to climb up to that pedestal. 

But then there’s Ronan - he doesn’t know the name Lamprius. He calls you Lucien and when he does, you almost want it to be your only name. He grounds you with his gravity and makes you feel a warmth in your cheeks. You have been living with your pain for years, so long that you have stopped noticing it. In fact, you’ve stopped noticing your heart existed in your chest at all. Instead, you’ve learned how to empty yourself out. You invent emotion, you choose how to feel. Your heart has become a machine, through which you feed a very precise and particular code. But then he calls you Lucien and your heart gives a single, mighty beat, and it’s all flesh and blood again. 

[ Reestablishing the Witches? Destroying the Montagues and the Capulets? These are lofty goals that may require nothing short of a God to accomplish - and as much as he likes to pretend otherwise, Lamprius is just a man. I don’t want his path to his goals to be easy, and for a man who loves to carefully orchestrate everything, I’m always looking for wrenches to throw in his plans. Give me people like Ronan who inspire doubt in himself, or give me people who catch on to what he’s doing and are outright trying to stop him. ] 

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Yes!

IN DEPTH

What is your favorite place in Verona? | 

(An acquaintance.) 

He knows his answer, but like most things he tries to see if he can find the answer she most wants to hear. It can feel like a game at times, and for Lamprius it can be just as fun. But there’s a method to this madness. He gives her a warm look over the edge of his champagne glass and manages to elegantly swipe another for her from a passing tray. Around them, the crowd of the gala mills about like smoke. 

She’s religious if he remembers overhearing her other conversation correctly. Catholic, but lapsed. Yes, that’s it. Even at this Christmas party, she’s mentioned it two too many times to be something she isn’t agonizing over and he can see the guilt of it in her eyes. His true answer is far from the one he gives her: 

“The Cathedral. My mother and I used to walk through it together every Christmas morning. Before sunrise, before the crowds got there. We could hear our steps echo through the chamber. When the sunrise hit the paintings on the ceiling, I thought it was magic.”

There it is, he sees her eyes widen with recognition of herself in his story. 

“I used to go there every year with my mother too.” 

His warm grin widens. I know, he thinks, but he raises his glass in an informal toast. “Well how about that?” 

What does your typical day look like?  | 

(A friend.) 

Lucien is in the midst of rolling up the sleeves to his sweater, when he gets asked what his typical day looks like. He raises an eyebrow at the question posed by his friend. Maybe it’s a trick of the light, but it almost looks as if the corners of his lips are quirked up in the slightest smile. 

“Don’t tell me our conversation has gotten so boring that you’re now asking about my day to day. I know I’m quiet, but I thought I was doing better than that.”

His words tease. Besides, they don’t even know what they’re asking. His day to days are simply veneer. Wake up, go to work, show face at an event. All of it clockwork. It’s his nights that show the true him, that’s when he descends into the shadows of the city and plays its people like a harp. 

“Is this your way of avoiding my question about how your day went? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” 

What has been your biggest mistake thus far? | 

(A patient.) 

He sits in his office, full attention on the young man in the seat across from him. It’s his last appointment for the day, or rather, his last appointment was two hours ago, but Lamprius is holding himself  to the decision that this will be the last one. He’s in his element here, and the air settles calm around him. Outside evening blankets the city. “Would you like some tea?” He asks. 

To which his patient blurts out “What has been your biggest mistake thus far?” unofficially starting the session. Lamprius examines the other down the length of his nose and realizes that they’re still having the conversation they had during the last time they met. 

Lamprius doesn’t think Asher would very much understand his biggest mistake thus far. Inaction. He closes his eyes and imagines the swinging bodies of those that meant so much to him; he feels the weight of that loss for the city as a whole, it sits in his chest and in his throat and on his shoulders. His body betrays him in the slightest as he pushes his pen down into the notepad. An ink bleed spreads from where he’s stabbed it with such force. 

But Lamprius opens his eyes immediately, the pause is as quick as a blink, and the therapist knows what he has to say to his patient. 

“I didn’t say goodbye to my mother when I had the chance.” 

He didn’t, but that’s another kind of hurt entirely, from a different lifetime. Lamprius taps his pen and then leans back into his seat; allowing his eyes to wander up to the ceiling in a show of vulnerability before saying: 

“All we have to do is decide what to do with the time given to us.” 

He offers up a small smile, like a faintest ray of sunlight filtering through a window. His gaze turns back on his patient. 

“Thanks, Gandalf, “ Asher mutters, but Lamprius clocks the way he relaxes his shoulders, the way he settles into his seat and allows himself to seem small and fragile in it. He sees this and knows he’s doing his job. Lamprius gives him a moment before softly clearing his throat. 

“How about we begin with you telling me about your day, Asher. Did you visit the hospital?” 

What has been the most difficult task asked of you?  | 

(His husband.) 

He’s by the kitchen table that Saturday morning when the question is asked of him. His neck is crooked at a certain angle, as his left hand props open the pages to the Epic of Gilgamesh. His right hand is equally occupied preparing a piece of toast - though right now he’s paused mid-motion, butter knife hovering over the butter. Lamprius unintentionally does this a few times - gets close enough to butter his toast, and then stops to flip the page. His husband’s question cracks the stillness of the air; the suddenness of it spilling like yolk. It almost makes Lamprius grip the butter knife like a proper knife. He is oh so rarely met with genuine surprise but his husband’s question holds a level of intimacy the two haven’t shared in years. For a second Lamprius’ mask almost slips and it’s good he has the words of Gilgamesh to hide behind. 

 He feels a tug that he was almost certain was forgotten. For a moment he is truly Lucien.

Finally, like an alligator emerging from the water, he peeks up over the top of his book so only his eyes show. He contemplates his words. Measures and cuts them so that they are a perfect fit. He doesn’t ask why Ronan is asking him such things on this halcyon Saturday morning, he simply answers. 

“Knowing there wasn’t anything I could do for my mother, “ His biological one, but also the three that came to raise him, “but watch the clock run out of time.” 

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?  | 

(A stranger.) 

They must be the only two people in the city that still read a physical print newspaper. Lamprius likes the feel of the pages; likes how easily it can become a barrier between him and the rest of the world. He visits this stand often, it’s the perfect distance between where he parks his car and the front door of his office. 

The man next to him, the one in the long dark coat, is a familiar face. It’s a judge, from the local courthouse. This makes sense seeing as they’re only a few blocks away from the building. Lamprius wouldn’t call him a regular of this newspaper stand. On this morning, the stranger points to the latest headline. Another fight has broken out in the city and Lamprius feels immediate abhorrence - but what he despises even more is how this judge has the audacity to ask ‘What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?’ The question sets off a blizzard in Lamprius, though he doesn’t show it. His lips threaten to curl back into a snarl. ‘How do you, a man of the law, know their names and still not know where you stand on the matter?’ Lamprius thinks coldly. 

He looks at this man and decides he doesn’t deserve the conversation. Some will always be willfully blind. If he’s a judge in this city and he still doesn’t know how he feels about this war, it isn’t Lamprius’ job to impart that caring onto him. He folds his newly purchased newspaper into a neat rectangle and tucks it under his arm before looking at the man, nothing but the perfect imitation of curiosity and confusion shining in his eye:

“What war?”

Extras: 

“In nature’s infinite book of secrecy, a little I can read.” - Lamprius, the Soothsayer 

Pinterest board: https://pin.it/7BdECcs

[crusherthedoctor]

Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite? - Part 2: GERALD

There are some villains I like. And there are some villains I don’t like. But why do I feel about them the way I do? That’s where this comes in.

This is a new mini-series of mine, in which I’ll be going into slightly more detail about my thoughts on the villains in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, and why I think they either work well, or fall flat (or somewhere in-between). I’ll be giving my stance on their designs, their personalities, and what they had to show for themselves in the game(s) they featured in. Keep in mind that these are just my own personal thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions! I don’t bite. :>

Anyhow, for today’s installment, we’ll commence Round 2 by taking a look at the mastermind of Sonic Adventure 2, who got a cap popped in his ass 50 years prior: Professor Gerald Robotnik.

The Gist: Gerald was once a kindhearted scientist who wanted nothing more than to use his genius to help benefit mankind as we know it. Seeking to cure the fatal illness of his granddaughter, Maria, Gerald worked on many ambitious projects, such as constructing the Space Colony A.R.K, working on countless potentially dangerous weapons like the Artificial Chaos units and the Eclipse Cannon, and most famously, creating the Ultimate Lifeform and chest hair enthusiast himself, Shadow the Hedgehog. None of these achievements actually cured Maria, but the professor worked tirelessly in his eternal quest all the same.

Here he is here, looking completely fucking terrifying.

Unfortunately, this quest was tragically cut shot when a bunch of dummies from G.U.N stormed the A.R.K. in an effort to shut down all of Gerald's projects. In addition to the professor's own arrest, it also led to the death of his beloved granddaughter. When he found out about the casualty... well, he didn't take it all that well, because the revelation transformed him overnight into a mad fucknugget.

At some point before his execution at the hands of G.U.N, he reprogrammed the A.R.K. itself to collide with the planet should all seven Chaos Emeralds be inserted into the Eclipse Cannon, as a final middle finger to the human race who took everything away from him. He also reprogrammed Shadow to carry out the hunt for the emeralds, to ensure his revenge would go off without a hitch in spite of the somewhat annoying obstacle of being dead. While Shadow would indeed go on to carry out Gerald's plot 50 years later upon his release, courtesy of one Dr. Eggman, an attack of conscience through a talk with Amy Rose convinced him to turn against his creator's corrupt intentions at the most vital moment, going so far as to help Sonic take down the professor's repurposed guard dog - the Biolizard - and seemingly sacrificing himself in the process.

Though Gerald’s pre-insanity days would be delved into more come Shadow’s own spinoff (although making a deal with an obviously evil alien makes one question if he was already crazy from the beginning), his villainous spin is still remembered with dread by the world he once loved. And no one remembers it more vividly than the one who nearly carried it all out. The one who Gerald looked at as a son.

“NOW can I use a better font?”

The Design: There’s a bit of an inconvenience here, because whereas there was a lot to cover with the many designs for Chaos, there's significantly less to speak of with Gerald's design. He’s essentially just a grey-haired (grey-whiskered?), slightly slimmer version of his grandson.

“Eggman? No. I’m my own original character... Deadman.”

In fairness though, with the way this particular antagonist works, it was never really about the physical appearance in the first place.

The Personality: ...There's not really a lot to say here either, since we've only seen a few moments with him due to his status as a posthumous character. He was a decent, altruistic man, only to turn crazy and vengeful when Maria got bumped off. That about covers it, really.

“I know that human beings and anthropomorphic killing machines can co-exist peacefully.”

The Execution: Now this is where the meat lies with Gerald. But I have to say, my thoughts on the professor overall are very prominently... grey.

On one hand, he's sympathetic enough as a character. The premise of a once pleasant man carrying out his vengeance from beyond the grave is certainly an interesting one, and his voice actor did a really good job with conveying his spiral into tragic insanity (even if it's slightly harder to take seriously when you remember it's the same guy who voiced Vector the Crocodile in Sonic Heroes).

On the other hand, while I don't think the basic concept with Gerald is too out-of-reach for a Sonic game, I do think there are certain elements involving him that go a bit too far and dip it into pretentious territory when you remember what franchise this is supposed to be. Much like Maria getting shot to death by the military, I feel that the recorded footage of Gerald's to-be-execution is a misguided result of being gritty for gritty's own sake.

Can Sonic lend itself to darker moments? Sure it can! But it needs to do those moments right, in a way that works with this franchise, rather than work against it. Moments like Gerald's pre-execution footage don’t mesh well, and make it all too easy to forget that I’m playing a Sonic game at all.

Can you tell I don’t have a lot of photos to work with for this guy?

His plan isn't without problems either. While not to the same degree as Mephiles certain other villains who I’ll cover at a later date, Gerald's evil scheme nonetheless has a few loopholes, the most infamous one being: Where did he get the time to do all this?

In order to have been able to program Shadow's servitude and the A.R.K's collision in the first place, he had to have had access to them. That's obvious enough, but here’s the thing: Gerald spent his captivity in Prison Island, which you can tell because his cell is the same one that Sonic was trapped in earlier on in the game. You COULD make an argument as to how he accessed Shadow at least, since the Ultimate Lifeform was sealed away in Prison Island as well, but here's where it gets even trickier: He couldn't have went insane until after his capture and imprisonment, because his arrest happened during the G.U.N. raid, the same event that resulted in Maria's death to begin with, and very little time would have logically passed between that and the professor being taken into custody.

So with what the narrative gives us to work with, either Gerald somehow had access to Shadow and the A.R.K. during his captivity, meaning G.U.N. are extremely incompetent and careless... or he already reprogrammed them before the raid even happened and thus when he had absolutely no reason to do such a thing. (Maybe he did it for a cheeky laugh...?)

“Only through the power of Windows Movie Maker can I make my vengeance manifest.”

Speaking of Shadow, Gerald's manipulation of him to destroy the world in Maria's name kind of falls apart when you remember that Shadow's flashbacks of Maria presented the latter as the kindhearted girl she really was. Maria marked the core of Shadow's own tragedy and subsequent low opinion on humanity, and yet nothing about her presentation in said flashbacks indicated that she would have wanted him to destroy the planet and kill everyone. Gerald clearly altered Shadow’s memories by inserting his own misanthropy and vengeance into his creation, so why did he leave his memories of Maria completely unscathed? 

This is even part of what causes Shadow to eventually change his ways in the first place. And yet, despite the story itself insisting otherwise, it's not like knowing Maria's real ideals was a game changer for Shadow. He already remembered what Maria was truly like.

“Shite, I guess.”

And finally, there's his relationship with his grandson, Eggman. Or more accurately, Eggman's relationship with him. Either way, I feel as conflicted about it as I do with Gerald himself.

We find out that Eggman considers his dead grandfather to be an even bigger genius than he is, even long after the latter's demise. I don't want to make this all about Eggman, since this post is meant to be about Gerald (don't worry though, the doctor will get his time in the sun soon enough, just you wait), but I always had a problem with this, because I feel it undermines Eggman’s own status when you really think about it, and while I can appreciate the attempt to give Eggman some depth and backstory expansion, I don't think this angle works out for Eggman specifically. Why? Because for a character who was - and still is - loud, proud, and insistent on how he is the best scientist there ever was and ever will be, the sudden revelation that he thinks his grandaddy was better than him honestly feels like a betrayal of the character in a way. If he respected his grandad's genius and maybe got inspired by him when he was a young lad, but still considered himself the biggest genius when he grew up into the man he is today, that would have felt more characteristic of him in my honest opinion.

“So just for clarity’s sake, when I say I’m the greatest scientific genius in the world, I’m actually saying I’m not the greatest scientific genius in the world.”

So yeah. Overall, my thoughts on Gerald are mixed. Decent concept, good acting, and I actually do like the character to an extent, but there's a lot working against him that make me unable to consider him a full winner. Also, he and Shadow fucked Eggman over massively. The game that many consider to be Eggman’s finest moment, and they pull the rug out from underneath him and reveal he was a clueless pawn the whole time.

I’m slightly bitter about that.

Just slightly.

Ever so slightly.

Crusher Gives Gerald a: Thumbs Sideways!

[magicbat]

A Mortal Engines Review/Outrage

Here thar be spoilers.

When I saw that Mortal Engines was finally getting a film, I was super excited. I finished the last book 7 years ago and always thought they had great cinematic potential. The film has finally come and, while as a standalone film it’s fun - and don’t get me wrong, visually gorgeous, basically exactly what I imagined it would look like - it doesn’t do the books justice. Like, at all.

I understand that there’s only so much time in a film and there is a lot that happens in the books, so naturally some things were cut or changed - things that immediately spring to mind:

the fairly natural introduction of Bevis Pod at a more audience-appropriate time so that he’s actually a character of reasonable significance when his time in the spotlight comes.

The removal of Chrysler Peevey - the pirates are a fun diversion but don’t contribute a huge amount overall to the plot at large I guess.

Less time spent in Batmunkh Gompa (erroneously referred by characters in the film as Shan Guo even though that refers to the land BEYOND the wall and it appears on a MAP in the film as Batmunkh Gompa so???????)

Equally, some things of real consequence were cut or changed to the significant detriment of the film:

Magnus Chrome being completely sidelined as a villain and all of his maniacal power being transferred to Thaddeus Valentine. Chrome instead just kind of appears and is ineffectual for two scenes, when actually he’s meant to be a key message carrier for the book - weapons of mass destruction are a BAD idea and you shouldn’t play with forces you don’t understand.

Continuing with the role swap of Magnus and Thaddeus, Thaddeus was absolutely a villain in the books but he was a bit more sympathetic. The one thing that the film DID get right is that Thaddeus was ambitious - but mostly because he wanted the best for Kate, not because he actually particularly cared about London. He was an out-country scav who had something that Chrome wanted (also touched on in the film), which afforded him the life of luxury he never could have had otherwise. He had a charade to keep up that got well out of hand.

Literally everyone hating Tom on Airhaven for being a Londoner. Yes, there are some people who are suspicious of him, but aeronauts are the driving neutral trade force of the world. Captain Kora is a warm and friendly man AND an anti-tractionist - the whole point of it all was to give Tom a reason to question Municipal Darwinism and challenge his convictions and stereotypes that AT’s are vicious and savage.

And then, there’s the absolutely unforgivable sins...

The extent to which London survives. London is meant to be obliterated by the meltdown of Medusa, taking the vast majority of its population with it. Chrome and Thaddeus are meant to be two sides of the same coin when it comes to facing their demise as a result of their hubris - Chrome weeping that he “only wanted to make London strong,” and Thaddeus clutching his dead daughter, the one thing he wanted to keep safe, watching the Jenny Haniver fly away with his other daughter, the one he treated so badly, and coming to terms with the fact that he did some pretty shitty things and that, really, a lot of this was his fault. And then dying in a fire. London was meant to be absolutely obliterated by MEDUSA and its survivors were meant to learn from its mistakes. More on the absolutely nuking of the series later though...

K-Division. This is meant to epitomise the degree to which Chrome’s reign had gone absolutely batshit. The creation of stalkers from Deep Gut prisoners was meant to be absolutely abhorrent and show how totalitarian and authoritarian Chrome’s madness for power had become. And speaking of K-Division and stalkers...

Shrike. Oh my God, Shrike. So, fair play to Jackson et al. - Shrike looks and feels absolutely fantastic in the film. He is terrifying, utterly unstoppable (but is apparently weak to a boot to the chest? More on that in a sec...) and exactly as uncanny as he is supposed to be. Also his war-shriek? Terrifying. Kudos there. But his characterisation is soooooo lacking and flawed. Shrike was meant to be an aged relic, relatively harmless unless you got in his way, to the point that he actually lived on a settlement. He helped out, didn’t need food and generally kept to himself, so what was the problem with him being there? While he was distinctly no longer human, he was, to a degree, able to think rationally - and the film does, I will concede, do a reasonable job of showing that it is specifically his dangerous obsession and confusion around Hester that activates the insane killing machine part of his head. Ok, sure, in the film he has his own little microtown and he takes Hester on board, exactly like he’s meant to, and they did a good job of showing how something deep within him is stirred by Hester’s ‘brokenness’ and his latent memories of his own child. But here’s the real problem I have, back to that point on the chest-boot - I was so incredibly disappointed to have Shrike die half way through the film? He’s the fucking NARRATOR of the ENTIRE SERIES! He survives THOUSANDS OF YEARS, experiencing and relaying emotion in a way that is so brilliantly uncanny and murderous and complex that... anyway. They done fucked up Shrike by having him be a metal Freddie Kruger for about half of the film and then suddenly and inexplicably having Anna Fang kill him with a This Is Sparta kick. Absolutely ridiculous.

Oh, but Shrike’s leitmotif? Brilliant. Absolutely terrifying musical queue. Good job on that one.

And last of all...

Hester. You knew this was coming. What have they done to you, Hester? First of all, ok, maybe it was difficult to give her a literally disfiguring face scar. But she is meant to be literally broken. She’s meant to have a crooked smile and one eye permanently locked in a scowl. I told myself that it was fine and that they only changed that to make Hester a bit more relatable and main-character material. It was a long shot and a vain hope but hey, I hoped to be proved wrong.

Hester is meant to be an insecure, selfish, murderous and wild girl. And they did a reasonable job of showing this at the very beginning of the film. They even included the bit where she robs Tom! Nice! But then they make her far too nice far too quickly in the subsequent sequences. And Tom doesn’t even like her all that much to begin with! More importantly though, Tom and Hester’s relationship develops much more organically in the books. Again, screen time, yada yada, but there’s so much important stuff! Hester’s desire for revenge is so strong that she sabotages so much just to get even an inch closer to Valentine, which really pisses Tom off when he’s trying to show her what is, to him, a more reasoned point of view. Hester has no qualms with killing - Tom does. In fact, unless I’m much mistaken, Tom scarcely raises a hand to anyone. Ever. In fact, one of the main things that happens is him getting shot and developing a heart condition as a result. Tom is absolutely a pacifist, give-peace-a-chance kind of guy, who may fantasise in the same way that many young people do about going on grand adventures, but never actually WANTS to kill anyone. Part of his arc with Hester is that, while he disagrees with a lot of the things she does, he never stops trying to see the good and shows her humanity and compassion. Again, Batmunkh Gompa was glossed over, but Tom is meant to buy Hester a new scarf, showing acceptance of her insecurities and empathy, if not agreement, with her situation.

All of this is for the sake of making Hester a bland dull tough girl Katniss Everdeen young adult protag. She is not a hero. She is not a good person. She is deeply flawed and scarred and traumatised... but she’s still human! As valentine is trying desperately to save Kate, Hester comes to help, and the book highlights how confusing this is for her!! I could go on and on about how the main characters of the book are so badly butchered by the entire thing but I’m acutely aware of how long this post is already.

So that’s my verdict. It’s a fun film. It’s a good watch. But honestly, as a huge fan of the books, it’s left a sour taste. The ending even conveniently ties everything up in a half-arsed bow that destroys the entire overarching plot of the series through to the 4th book. I suspect that they had so little faith in the committee-approved screwup of a script that they made sure there was no precedent for a sequel.

[immortalxdreamersarchive-blog]

Some information on shipping with Loki that I figured I’d write down.

 First of all, I do not ship Loki in his post-Thor (2011) / The Avengers (2012) / pre-Thor: The Dark World (2013) verse(s). This has to do with his state of mind during that period. Because of the discovery of his heritage, the fact that Odin has made it clear that Loki will never be King, and the events that occur subsequently, Loki is too absorbed by jealousy, the need to prove himself, and a desire for revenge, and this makes him romantically unavailable ( and as I do not write smut, it will not really affect his physical availability -- but even fading to black will not occur ). After Thor (2011) and during The Avengers (2012), all Loki will have time for are his plans to conquer Earth through a deal he struck with Thanos after he fell from the Bifröst. The only possible involvement he might have would be a ruse ( e.g. seducing someone who might be of use to him, if he can’t think of another way to make them obey ). If this involvement includes a human, he will NOT be physical with them beyond a stray touch. It’s been made clear on several occasions that Loki despises most humans, and thinks himself and the other gods above them to the extent where he deems humans insignificant and uninteresting. There are a few exceptions, but to ship Loki with humans in general will take a lot of plotting, and it will most likely be heavily au-based. 

Before and during most of Thor: The Dark World (2013), Loki will also not be romantically available as he will be going through the emotional turmoil of having failed to conquer Earth, and his mind will still be filled with too much hatred and jealousy to be distracted by anything else ( not to mention that he spends some time in the Asgardian prison ). 

Any ships with Loki will therefore take place before Thor (2011), at the point where Loki has not yet summoned the Frost Giants to sabotage Thor’s crowning, and also has not discovered that he is in fact a Frost Giant, himself; or it will take place before, during, or after Thor: Ragnarok (2017) — aside from the cases where shipping takes place in an au which is not related to Loki’s canon events. 

Most importantly, when shipping with Loki, I will not disregard the terrible things he has done. In his pre-Thor (2011) verse, he might not have killed anybody, but it is canon that he ‘playfully’ stabbed his own brother after having transformed into a snake to fool Thor. On the one hand, Thor is a god, and his injuries healed very quickly, but in human terms this would not have been anywhere near being considered to be ‘just a trick’. Just keep in mind that even during that time Loki was not a cute, innocent lad. Secondly, in his verse around the time of Thor: Ragnarok (2017), he has killed countless people, and he is not shown to regret doing so. That is not to say, that it is likely that he will try the exact same thing all over again. By this time, I deem him more susceptible for outside influences. He shows remorse for treating Odin the way he did, as well as the occasional brotherly fondness. BUT! in most cases, Loki will choose himself. I will not play this down for the sake of shipping, unless plotting serves for a good enough reason for him to be selfless. 

Last but not least, Loki is a troubled man for most of his life. His moral alignment ranges from chaotic neutral to absolute evil, with some very brief moments of actual good, depending on his every whim. My point here is that, although he is not off-limits for shipping in the least, Loki is a difficult romantic partner, and it will take a lot of development and plotting to establish a bond that makes for a healthy if not ‘okay-ish’ relationship. 

[it-hurts-because-it-mattered]

Okay, so I was talking to the wonderful @fuck-yeah-firebringer​ about Spies are Forever and we got on to my interpretation of Owen, then she convinced me I should post all my ranting about it.

Essentially, I don’t think Owen was a villain. (Not just that he’s sympathetic or “good deep down inside”, but genuinely not a villain and actually at least as heroic as Curt, possibly moreso.)

Before I even start I’ll acknowledge that he’s clearly an antagonist regardless of his morality; he’s working against Curt at every turn and also working on personal revenge against him. But I’m going to argue that Curt is on the wrong side of that struggle, and that Owen has a legitimate right to revenge.

First thing’s first: Chimera, and the plan that drives the plot. Owen somehow survives his fall and the subsequent explosion and, after a while of presumably recovering physically and certainly working through his feelings of anger and betrayal, he decides that what he’s going to take away from that night is a lesson about what happens when people are allowed to operate with minimal oversight, less accountability, and an almost mandatory surplus of arrogance. He himself spends the night casually torturing his lover, before the two of them jovially maim a man and tell him he should be thanking them, and that’s treated as charming and par for the course. Then Curt decides to needlessly blow up the building, fully intending to kill everyone inside, and proceeds to drink on the job while making a game of secretly setting the timer dangerously short, and seemingly gets his partner killed with his recklessness. 

After this decision, he joins Chimera. All we know about Chimera is that it’s a diverse group of powerful people pooling their resources and influences to try and make a better world. Because this comes from Owen, we assume that this is actually some sinister conspiracy, but why should it be? All we see them endeavouring to do is break down the way spies operate (at the height of the Cold War, I might add) because it leaves way too much collateral damage by inventing the internet and allowing the intelligence community to use bugs and computers for gathering their intel, instead of using armed men. And Barb is working on this exact same technology on behalf of the US! It’s not as though we’re supposed to believe there’s something inherently horrifying about it. (Plus, you know, we live in a world where it actually was invented and we generally consider it to be a very positive thing.)

Next let’s move on to his time undercover as The Deadliest Man Alive. He has exactly three on-stage kills that aren’t nazis: a man who’s killed over 1400 people, including his colleague in cold blood literally 10 seconds ago, and undoubtedly deserved to die. The useless prince who... Okay, didn’t deserve it, and that’s clearly an example of the kind of collateral damage that Owen is working to make obsolete, but in the context of a Cold War spy story political assassination is kind of value-neutral, neither good nor bad, and there are plenty of ways you could argue it was for the greater good considering how utterly useless he’s supposed to be. (I’m not actually making any of those arguments, this is not a good moment for Owen and I’m not going to seriously defend killing an innocent man, however useless he was, but given how morally grey spies in general are, I don’t think this really qualifies him as even slightly villainous.) And finally, the Informant. I don’t have any kind of canonical excuse for this one (apart from as a necessity for him to escape? But that’s pretty flimsy) except to say that Curt and Tati have both done far worse, and that we’re working with some very morally grey characters. However I personally think this killing was entirely justified, as I thoroughly distrust Informant.

(I can’t really articulate or properly defend that distrust, there's just something about all his disguises/roles and how seriously he takes them as roles while also being kind of terrible at his job (leaving the plans lying around, causing Curt problems all through the casino, being a complete mess at the meeting just before he's killed), and his whole thing about not recognising the man in the mirror seems ominous. Plus he had literally no relationship with Curt beyond two brief, not too friendly, jobs together (cafe and casino) but signed up with him to throw his career away and risk his life? I just generally get a shady feeling from him. (Bonus points for during One More Shot when he cuts himself off mid-sentence then says he forgot what I was going to say, I think it was going to be something incriminating that almost slipped out because he was drunk but he caught himself in time.) I choose to think that he was some kind of double agent, or setting himself up to betray Curt, or some other issue, and that Owen knew about it and killed him for it. After all, DMA seems to see straight through his disguise in the meeting and be intentionally making him uncomfortable.)

Of course, there’s the matter of his reputation and his kill record. To start with, my biggest assumption here is that all his kills (at least as DMA) have been under comparable circumstances to his on stage kills. Either necessary collateral damage in a way that’s par for the course as a spy, or people (e.g. nazis and mass murders) who deserve killing. Secondly... There’s no way that he’s killed over 1400 people in the 5 years since he survived the fall. Which means that either he’s claiming kills he hasn’t made, or the number is accurate and he’s including his kills from his years working for the British. (Or both, and he’s claiming unsolved murders to kill the place of his old kills because he’s undercover.) Unless he’s claiming kills that aren’t his, the Agency’s supposed file of his victims is obvious bullshit. And even if he is making false claims, it’s still hard to believe that they would have poured the resources into tracking and recording all of these kills, along with pictures and ages of the victims, yet been unable to actually catch him. All of this is to say that basically I call bullshit on the “penchant for females ages fourteen to twenty two” line; it’s either Agency propaganda or DMA falsely claiming those kills to bolster his reputation. He’s definitely a killer, but so’s Curt, and so’s Tati, and we have no reason to think he’s been any more cruel and callous about his killing than they have.

Essentially... A spy is a spy, forever, whatever. Owen didn’t stop being a spy, he only started working for a different agency; one that seems to genuinely be set on building a better world instead of gathering national power.

And this leaves us with the revenge against Curt. Curt nearly got him killed, and then left him for dead. This would be bad from anyone, but between what they owed each other as lovers and the obligations of partners to look out for each other, it’s a particularly terrible thing. He had every right to pursue and enact his revenge, yet he could never quite pull the trigger.

In part 3, Curt is rusty and let’s DMA get inside his grip, at which point he unloads his gun in a panic. Owen lets him unload every single shot, before easily taking the gun out of Curt’s hand, so he probably could have taken it at any point. Even then, Curt is left unarmed, surrounded by Owen’s allies, while Owen still has (at least) his machete, yet he leaves Curt unharmed and runs off.

At the end of the first act, he has Curt at his mercy, and tortures him. This is definitely him getting his revenge. But it’s also a way to put off actually killing him, and once he’s got the blade to Curt’s throat, he’s still so, so slow about it that I’m not at all certain he would have gone through with it if Tati hadn’t intervened.

After he kills Informant, he could have easily shot Tati and Curt too, but instead he lets them go.

Throughout Cut To The Chase, he seems to be hugely more skilled than Curt with every single weapon they use, implying that he could have killed Curt at any time but instead is just playing with him.

And then the final confrontation... Curt was utterly defeated and vulnerable. And there were several dramatically appropriate moments for Owen to finally do it... But every time he let the moment pass, and kept on talking, because he could never actually pull the trigger. Then Curt disarms him, and he doesn’t even seem to care too much, and then Curt coldly executes the lover he betrayed and abandoned.

I won’t even get into all the details and intricacies of Owen’s emotions throughout that penultimate section, that part is easy enough for everybody to watch and see his mixed feelings, though different people will have different opinions on exactly what means what. (Me and @fuck-yeah-firebringer found ourselves precisely reversed on which lines we each thought were angry and which we thought were loving, so that seems like a lost cause to specify. :’) )

I'm not trying to say that he's a particularly good person or anything, but I don't think he qualifies as an actual villain, and I think he actually comes off as more heroic than Curt, all things considered. They’re both spies, with all the moral issues that follow, but Owen is working towards what seems to be a more noble goal, seems to be a lot more careful than Curt “we gotta blow this whole facility” Mega about who gets hurt along the way, and can’t bring himself to kill his old lover, who in turn shows no hesitation before executing him.

[amsterdammotherfucker]

Semi-inspired by Phelous’ recent review of the 2016 Cabin Fever remake, I was once again thinking about what I would to if I were to ever do a remake of Hostel:

- Keep the original cast, just age the characters up so they’re not obnoxious, immature college students anymore; instead they’re world-weary career men having midlife crises. 

- Paxton is a lawyer, Josh is a struggling writer looking for inspiration for his next bestseller, and Oli is a family man; they’ve all been friends for years, likely since their college days. Add a bit at the beginning just to establish all of this, or hell, even exposition dialogue could do the trick.

- Tone down the sex a lot. Like, A LOT. The drugs and drinking, too; to an extent. A lot of the opening montage can be cut down, especially with older, more mature lead characters.

- Instead of getting themselves locked out of their hostel past curfew like idiots, the boys meet Alexei at a club frequented by tourists; Alexei could potentially prevent them from getting thrown out like they did in the original movie.

- CUT THE TRAIN SHENANIGANS FOR GOD’S SAKE. In fact, a lot of Oli’s character can be toned down in general.

- Have Pax and Oli actually be weirded out by the Dutch Businessman instead of finding the whole thing hilarious. Hell, even just have Pax be weirded out and have Oli try and brush it off. Because ~FORESHADOWING~ I guess.

- For the most part all the stuff with Natalya and Svetlana can stay relatively intact, just shorten the spa scene and make it infinitely less awkward.

- CUT EVERY SINGLE USAGE OF THE WORD “GAY” IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE

- Instead of being mopey about his ex-girlfriend, Josh is mopey because of his writer’s block.

- Also flesh out the friendship between Pax and Josh a lot more.

- Do a better job of introducing Kana and Yuki and establishing their characters, mostly in Kana’s case, before Yuki is whisked away to tortureville.

- Of course I’d add plenty of romantic tension between Pax and Kana but nothing ever comes of it because I’m TERRIBLE.

- Add a scene with Natalya and Svetlana in the shower together laughing and joking about the guys’ skills in bed and show absolutely zero nudity throughout the whole scene.

- Actually have the Elite Hunters try to nab each group of people all at once instead of one at a time to rouse less suspicion. Have the girls take the trio somewhere else after the morning after scene as a means of luring them all in at the same time, and have Pax and Josh unwittingly save their own lives by slipping back outside to I don’t even know check their phones or something, or converse privately about whatever.

- In the same vein, have Kana run into the boys outside and stop to talk to them while Yuki goes inside and is captured along with Oli.

- I’m toying with the idea of the Lake Michigan story actually being put to film in the form of a flashback/nightmare for Pax at some point, but it’s not entirely necessary, just a detail from the original I’d want to keep in there somehow.

- Cut down the role of the bubblegum kids A LOT. Have them there more as an Easter egg for fans of the original than to further the plot in any way, shape, or form.

- Trim down and alter the bar scene with Josh and the Dutch Businessman because OHHHHH MY GOD.

- Omit the poorly photoshopped phone image of Oli and Yuki entirely.

- Spend less time on Pax and Josh looking for Oli, and shorten the museum tortury/dude wearing Oli’s jacket scene to just the bare necessities.

- Have Pax actually give Josh some fairly decent advice that getting out more will help him find his inspiration.

- Because Josh is a writer I really want to have him get inspired and churn out a story on his laptop at some point between club scenes, though I know it’s completely unrealistic for him to churn out an entire manuscript in one night, I think that since I’m fixing as many of the unrealistic things from the original as I possibly can I’M ALLOWED TO HAVE THIS ONE UNREALISTIC THING :P

- Some things can proceed as normal, like the boys being drugged by the girls and Pax accidentally getting himself locked in a closet and unwittingly saving his own life.

- I’d actually tone UP the gore effects in Josh’s torture scene to a certain extent, other than that I’d change very little about that scene.

- CUT THE VOMIT IN BOTH TORTURE SCENES JUST CUT IT

- When Pax goes back to the hostel and has the “deja vu” scene with the two other girls, have one of the desk clerks standing behind Pax frantically gesturing for them to shut up, making it clear that they didn’t know Pax had already gotten that treatment from Nat and Lana.

- Have the girls actually be shocked to see Paxton when he turns up at the seedy bar where they’re hanging out.

- Potentially add something to confirm my headcanon that the girls are on some kind of drugs and severely malnourished/unhealthy?

-  You know how Takeshi Miike made a cameo outside the warehouse? Yeah I want Eli Roth in that role. PLEASE. IT WOULD BE AMAZING.

- MAKE THE WAREHOUSE LOOK LESS SKETCHY ON THE OUTSIDE SO IT’S PLAUSIBLE THAT PAX WILL BELIEVE IT’S AN ART GALLERY

- Have Nat just smirk instead of full-on evil laughing

- It’s kinda unrealistic that the Dutch Businessman would still be toying with Josh’s body a day later, so maybe just have Pax see his dead and mutilated body on the surgical table.

- This is a little thing but just have Pax call Nat a bitch twice, cut him calling her a whore; it fits better with the “that makes you my bitch” follow-up line.

- 10% more shaky cam and like 80% more blood in the Hall of Horrors scene.

- I don’t want to touch Pax’s torture scene too much because it’s almost perfect as is and it’s my favorite scene in the original movie, just cut the vomit (have Pax like I dunno dry-heave or something to prompt Johan removing the gag) and ADD SUBTITLES ON THAT GERMAN LINE PLEASE FOR ALL THE PEOPLE TOO LAZY TO LOOK UP THE TRANSLATION IT’S TOO BEAUTIFUL TO LET SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS.

- Eliminate the deus ex machina with Johan sawing off his own leg somehow, even if just cutting off Pax’s fingers and breaking the handcuffs in the process gives him enough leeway to wiggle his way closer to the table and grab the gun. It’s less suspenseful and somewhat anticlimactic, sure, BUT AT LEAST IT MAKES MORE SENSE.

- And have Pax not tip his chair over, eliminating that continuity error from the original.

- Cut him trying to save his fingers, it serves no purpose and is ultimately a fool’s errand anyway so

- From there everything can more or less proceed as normal for a while, up until Pax makes it to the laundry room. 

- We can keep the bit about the police in the village being in on it, because why not, they’d have to be I guess

- I actually want to add a scene with Pax struggling as he’s changing his clothes. It doesn’t have to be overly long or gratuitous in any way, just enough to show how he managed to change clothes with an injured, bleeding hand. And maybe have him look less polished and put together than he did in the original.

- CUT THE WHOLE MONOLOGUE FOR THE AMERICAN CLIENT. Have him walk in, possibly be on his cell phone muttering something about “for that price she better be worth it,” toss the gun on the table, nod in Pax’s direction, and leave. THERE, HE FULFILLED HIS ENTIRE PURPOSE IN THAT SCENE.

- Make it slightly more difficult for Pax to break into the car

- Possibly have a callback to the Lake Michigan flashback when Pax hears Kana screaming? Again, not entirely necessary

- Show Kana’s dangling eyeball VERY LITTLE. I love the idea of have a shot from behind Kana’s head, so we don’t see any of Pax removing her eye, we just focus on Pax’s face during the scene.

- Give Kana more lines during their escape beyond just screaming and crying

- Change the arrangement of Nat, Lana, and Alexei slightly so it’s more believable that Pax running them down would kill all three of them instantly. Possibly also add a separate, prior scene explaining why they just so happen to be hanging out so close to the warehouse?

- Cut Pax having to bribe the street kids with gum to get past and the kids subsequently murdering the guys tailing them; replace it with a car chase that ends with the guys tailing them crashing and dying spectacularly.

- Fix them running into the police, have them be checking cars but NOT beating up random people, and have the officer get distracted so Pax and Kana can believably escape the car without being seen.

- Have some dialogue between Pax and Kana after she sees her reflection in the glass, establishing why Kana feels like life’s not worth living for her anymore, and Pax trying as desperately as he can to convince her otherwise while also trying to urge her along to avoid getting caught, but Kana runs and jumps in front of the train before he can stop her. That way we have her motivations, we feel bad for her, and Pax didn’t have LIKE FIVE WHOLE MINUTES TO TRY AND STOP HER BEFORE SHE ACTUALLY JUMPED

- We kind of have to have the wacky coincidence of the Dutch Businessman being on the train, that one’s kind of inevitable for plot reasons unfortunately

- From there things, again, proceed as usual, with Pax stalking the Dutch Businessman into the bathroom and then killing him in the stall, the only things I would tweak are to have Pax not cut off the Dutch Businessman’s fingers, and to add the line “This is for Josh” right before he slits his throat. That way he’s more focused on avenging his best friend than getting revenge for his own suffering.

- I’m tempted to add the bit from the beginning of Hostel 2 where Pax is found bleeding out on the train, ends up in the hospital, and has to recount his story to a police officer/detective, albeit it’d be a much shorter scene and not end up being a fakeout dream sequence.

- Then add an extra bit at the end that cuts to one year later. Pax goes into his office and talks with his secretary, at one point saying something along the lines of “if someone named Stephanie calls, send it straight to voicemail” as another Easter egg, and ultimately have the secretary mention that a package came in from the publishing company. Then Pax opens it and finds the first test copy of Josh’s new book, “The Hostel.” Turns out Pax found the manuscript on Josh’s laptop somehow and had it published for him posthumously.

- It COULD end there, but I’m fond of having another nod to the second movie by having Pax later eating cereal in his apartment, and build up suspense when he thinks he hears someone else in the apartment. Keep the audience guessing as to whether there’s actually an intruder or if it’s all in Pax’s paranoid, PTSD-riddled mind.

- Surprise, surprise, there IS actually an intruder come to cut off Pax’s head, but he’s too quick for them. He fights his would-be assassin and wins, demanding to know who sent them, but ultimately killing them when they won’t surrender the information. It’s then that Pax realizes that they’ll never stop coming after him, and he packs his things and speeds off into the night. Roll credits.

[moviessilently]

Stage star Lenore Ulric brings her signature role to the screen in this melodrama set in Canada. We have Mounties, trees and bloody revenge. The usual Hollywood Canadian wilderness picture, in other words, but we have the added bonus of a super Mountie and a location shoot in Yosemite.

Home Media Availability: Released on DVD.

This is my contribution to the O Canada Blogathon hosted by Silver Screenings and Speakeasy. Be sure to read all the other reviews!

Go get ‘em, tiger!

I do love Mountie flicks and I know I’m not alone. What’s not to love about noble gents in great hands tracking down evildoers? Unfortunately, the quality of Mountie pictures can be described as spotty at best. For every piece of quality entertainment, we have a few bombs. For example, Nomads of the North features Lon Chaney as a sexy fur trapper. Really. Where the North Holds Sway is essentially a western with more flannel. See what I mean? Well, let’s see if this picture will make up for the bad ones.

Will Forrest Stanley’s Mountie win us over?

Tiger Rose is an adaptation of a 1917 stage play written by Willard Mack (you can read a public domain copy here) and produced by the famed David Belasco, who had quite a number of western and wilderness pictures in his repertoire. Warner Bros. scored a casting coup when they obtained the services of Lenore Ulric, who had created the role of Rose on the stage and had not been seen in movies in six years. The film was subsequently remade as both a silent and a talkie as a 1929 Lupe Velez vehicle but, alas, the remake is not on home video.

(I should note that the version of the film I saw runs for just one hour. Tiger Rose as originally released ran for eight reels, which would be eighty minutes at minimum and likely far longer. The storyline is smooth and I did not notice any particularly large holes in the plot.)

The things you find when you go fishing.

The film opens in a quiet Canadian trading community that bears a shocking resemblance to Yosemite. (Mainly because the exteriors were shot there. Whodathunkit?) Sergeant Michael Devlin (four-time Marion Davies leading man Forrest Stanley) is a Mountie’s Mountie and he comes riding hell for leather into town. He has fished a half-drowned woman (Lenore Ulric) out of Loon River and turns her over to the kind locals for some first aid.

We know that this young woman has been through a lot because she looks like this:

I wish I could look that good after almost drowning.

Yipes! When they say “waterproof” on the mascara bottle, they mean it! And who made her hairspray? Color me impressed.

Devlin tells the story of his brave rescue in flashback and it strikes me that this would have been a far more impressive opening scene for the film than shots of the great outdoors. Devlin races on horseback to catch up with the woman in the water—she’s caught in a current heading for a waterfall because this is a melodrama—and then he dismounts and throws himself off a cliff into the river below. That is some grade A stunt work and it’s a pity that the suspense is spoiled by using the flashback structure.

Now THAT is what I call an epic rescue.

Anyway, the young woman is named Rose and she likes to hunt and swear in the most adorable way possible. Devlin is interested but Rose falls for Bruce Norton (Theodore von Eltz), a dashing engineer. (Not there are two words I never thought I would type in the same sentence.) It’s love at first sight but Bruce is on a mission: he has tracked down a nefarious bad guy-type and he means to kill him for the sake of someone called “Helen.” There’s a suitably violent struggle for a pistol and Bruce ends up shooting his target, one of the local doctors.

When confronting one’s arch-nemesis, one would think one would be on the lookout for hidden weapons.

Another local doctor (this town is flush with ‘em, it seems) examines the body and delivers a mysterious proclamation. It seems that everyone in this picture has decided to become Lemony Snicket. The second doctor is played by Sam De Grasse, noted villain of Fairbanks flicks, and he sets out to help Bruce… or does he?

Devlin receives news of the murder and springs into action. He takes his trusty rifle and is able to wing Bruce lickety-split. Bruce is in a pickle as a storm is coming in and Devlin’s posse has the area surrounded. He takes refuge in Rose’s cellar, where she and the doc discover him a bit later. But Devlin hasn’t given up the chase and it’s going to take a very clever plan to evade our unstoppable Mountie.

Bruce learns that Devlin plays for keeps.

Will Bruce get away? Do we really want him to get away? I mean, that Devlin guy is pretty cool. In any case, find out in Tiger Rose!

Lenore Ulric does well overall but her Broadway experience causes her to play things in a broad way. (Get it? Get it?) It’s not too distracting but there are a few scenes in which her gestures get out of control and I wish I could assure her that we saw her in the nickel seats. She also applies her makeup with a trowel, which is distracting alongside the more subtle cosmetics of her costars and the general grit and outdoorsiness of the picture. (Makeup in the silent era was wildly inconsistent but the basic rule was that the actors should try to match one another in general amount and application.)

I’ve got a fever and the only prescription is more lipstick.

Ulric is further hampered by silly title cards that attempt to mimic French Canadian dialect. And does her background ever amount to anything in the picture? It does not. I am on record as hating dialect title cards and unnecessary dialect title cards are even worse. Frankly, it’s amazing that Ulric manages to rise above the silliness.

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Let’s face it, Rose’s motivation is a little weak. She met Bruce the day before and had a flirtation that lasted all of five minutes, that hardly seems like a good reason to risk everything for him. But… this is a melodrama. Love at first sight is a staple. What’s more problematic is the fact that her contributions to the story are pretty much superfluous. The doc and Bruce would have escaped on their own and the ending of the film (being intentionally vague here) would have been essentially the same with or without Rose. Yes, it’s fun to see a silent heroine wield a pistol but it’s not unheard-of. (See Back to God’s Country, a smashing Canadian wilderness picture in which Nell Shipman saves the day with firearms and a killer dog.)

For Helen – You will always be in my heart, In my mind, And in your grave.

Theodore von Eltz is okay as Bruce but the film misfires when it plays Button Button with his past and motivation. It would have been far more believable if he had confided his sad tale to Rose. As the film stands, the leads are forced to run around being terribly mysterious when any normal person would be asking some questions. “Um, why’d you shoot the guy? I know the doc said you had good reasons but I’d kinda like some clarification. Also, do you shoot girls? Asking for a friend.” Look, this mournful “Oh, my horrible past that I will not clarify!” stuff is amusing in A Series of Unfortunate Events but it gets rather tedious in a drama.

This looks like a job for… Devlin the Super Mountie!

I usually find Forrest Stanley to be a bit on the dull side but I really liked Devlin the Super Mountie. He doesn’t show up much in the beginning but every time he does, he performs some splendid stunt, strikes a heroic pose and otherwise shows himself to be Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent. In our world of gravel-voiced antiheroes, Devlin’s unabashed good guy-ness is a positive breath of fresh air and Stanley manages to do it all without coming off as sanctimonious or trite.

No villain is safe on Canadian soil!

Devlin’s whole “unstoppable manhunting force for good” act just gets better and better as the film progresses. I don’t know about everyone else but I was definitely rooting for him to get his man. The fact that Bruce’s motivation is not revealed until the finale makes him a rather opaque hero, which in turn makes Devlin’s straightforward lawman stuff even more appealing. Why were there no Sgt. Devlin of the RCMP spinoffs? Come on, people, you missed a huge opportunity!

Looks trustworthy to me.

I have to say, though, that the casting of Sam De Grasse really threw me off. Here’s a man who can make picnics and candy and flowers look sinister and he spends the entire picture lurking about in a most ominous manner. I kept expecting him to stab Bruce in the back or something.

Legendary cinematographer Charles Rosher makes the most of the films Yosemite locations and the cast is frequently posed against lovely natural backdrops. Hey, if you’ve got it, you flaunt it. He does equally well with the moody shadows of the nighttime storm scenes. The man was good, is what I’m saying. Check it out:

When interviewed by Kevin Brownlow for The Parade’s Gone By, Rosher revealed the film was significant in his career as it was the only time movie mogul Harry Warner ever gave him (or anyone else) a bonus. Lenore Ulric was due back in New York for rehearsals and if the film was not finished in time, the entire crew would have to follow her to the east coast and finish making it there at great expense.

She has a schedule to keep and you do not want to cross her.

Director Sidney Franklin was too nice to rush things along so Rosher took over the role as expediter and the picture was finished on schedule. Ulric got to New York in time, Warner Bros. didn’t have to move production across the country and everyone was happy. Harry Warner personally thanked Rosher and told him that shooting in the east would have added $25,000 to the film’s budget. There was a funny bit of business where Warner wouldn’t let go of the check but Rosher got his bonus in the end. Fully deserved too, I might add.

(Rosher also received a telegram from Belasco himself complimenting him on his camera work. Rosher claimed it was just because Ulric, a Belasco favorite, liked her closeups.)

In the cellar, out of the cellar, in the cellar… make up your minds!

But back to the film as we need to discuss some significant flaws. The main issues of the story come from the script. Its stage roots show particularly in the third act as the story’s setbound nature becomes obvious. The leads scamper from the house to the cellar to the house to the cellar to the cabin to the house. Rosher and Franklin try their best to open things up with shots of the great outdoors but there’s only so much that can be done and the story ends up feeling a bit claustrophobic.

No, sitting under a staircase doesn’t count as a scene change.

(Spoilers Ahoy!)

The finale of the film descends into absolute Victoriana, coincidences and all. It turns out that the doc was Bruce’s brother-in-law all along and it looks like everyone is going to get away when Devlin reveals himself and begins to make his arrest. Rose springs into action and holds Devlin back with a pistol while Bruce and the doctor escape. This means prison for Rose but after holding Devlin prisoner all night, Bruce returns to turn himself in and save her from sacrificing herself. Why they didn’t just tie Devlin up and all escape together, I have no idea. In any case, Devlin is moved by the gesture but he still arrests Bruce.

Hurray! You know, for people whose Hollywood motto is, “We always get our man,” the Mounties certainly seem to let a lot of fugitives go. I’d complain but then I remember that I almost never get my mail delivered during snow, sleet and dark of night. Hollywood needs more realistic mottos for its government organization. “We always get our man unless he’s dating that girl we used to like.” Well, not this time! Devlin remains a Mountie’s Mountie and thank goodness. Of course, Bruce just gets a few months in the pokey, which kind of retroactively nullifies the urgency of his escape. “I need to get away! I can’t serve six months! It’s inhuman!”

(End Spoilers)

Goodby and good luck in your new life, Rose. I planted cocaine in your dog sled.

Is it worth seeing? Oh, definitely. Tiger Rose is as corny as can be and no Mountie film cliché is left out, though some are twisted about and played with. Also in the plus column, the cast is game, Rosher’s cinematography is gorgeous and it’s all in good fun. If you get into the spirit of the thing, I think you’ll have a great time. It’s one of the better Mountie flicks of the silent era.

P.S. #TeamDevlin

Where can I see it?

Tiger Rose is available on DVD from Grapevine.

Tiger Rose (1923) A Silent Film Review Stage star Lenore Ulric brings her signature role to the screen in this melodrama set in Canada.