#and also so lush when the only instrumentals i can hear are an organ and MAYBE some synths with effects

[maxellminidisc]

Love but hate listening to musicians who are insanely talented composers and who I KNOW are completely self taught. Both cause its awesome and because it makes me feel like an incompetent buffoon wkskdkdkkdmdk

[cristalconnors]

BEST ALBUMS OF 2019: TOP TEN

SPECIAL CITATIONS:

HOMECOMING: THE LIVE ALBUM, Beyoncé

The live album feels like a lost art form. Of late, many feel thrown together without much thought- an offering to the most ardent of fans about as meaningful as a gift card you’d give your coworker. Homecoming is the antithesis of that: a flawless documentation of Beyoncé’s benchmark live performance at the 2018 edition of the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival that is a staggering recontextualisation of her entire life’s work, dazzlingly criss-crossing her discography, offering rollicking, thoughtful new arrangements of classics and deep-cuts alike, filtered through the lens of HBCU marching band, playing like a half time show that goes on and on and on, offering the final, definitive evidence that Beyoncé is the greatest showman in modern history by leaps and bounds. 

LEAK 04-13 (BAIT ONES), Jai Paul

Discovering Leak 04-13 (Bait Ones) sometime in the summer of 2013 was like being let in on a secret. I felt like the member of an exclusive club of people in-the-know, the possessor of a forbidden document that could only be discussed in hushed tones and accessed illegally. The circumstances of its arrival were uncertain. Had he leaked it purposefully? Were all of the songs really his? It didn’t even have a proper name (it would be christened Leak 04-13 (Bait Ones) many years later). The enthralling mystery of it was eclipsed only by the music itself. It sounded like you shouldn’t have been listening to it, a top secret transmission intercepted and compromised in the process. Its stunningly lush, busy textures were threadbare, pieces of the songs suddenly falling away only to reappear, as if you were streaming it and your internet connection was struggling to keep up. But that only contributed to the mystical grandeur of this earth shattering R&B that felt so purposeful, so impeccably sequenced (not by Jai), so bizarre and at times even funny, so much so that it was difficult to imagine how it could possibly be unfinished- it was perfect.

I don’t think I’d ever really understood how thoroughly devastating the leak was to Jai Paul himself until I read the lengthy note that accompanied his abrupt return on June 1st of this year, when he not only graced us with two stunning new tracks but properly released this album for the first time, a remarkable gesture of goodwill to his fans who gleefully partook in the stolen material, many without much regard to how it’d become available to them. Reading the letter, I felt guilty. The extent to which the leak derailed his career, demolished his trust in the institutions the industry is built on, compelled him to cast himself away from music entirely- his lifeline- and, in his own words, “withdraw from life in general” was genuinely heartbreaking. But the official release of the album that caused so much strife is the culmination of a years long journey of recovery, reconciliation, and growth. It’s a hard-earned reclamation of ownership that signals that Jai Paul, one of the most vital, distinct voices to emerge from the decade, is ready to get back on the horse. Look out.

THE TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2019:

10. CALIGULA, Lingua Ignota

Caligula is maybe the most stunning document of feminine rage I’ve ever heard- an improbable synthesis of metal and opera imbued with biblical imagery and defined by language that’s as flowery as it is vicious (“may your own shame hang you / may dishonor drown you / may there be no kindness / no kindness / no kindness”). Kristin Hayter’s classically trained voice bends almost to the point of snapping, sometimes bringing her tongue to her soft palate to make a sound somewhere between a hum and a gurgle before launching into blood curdling shrieks as the music around her morphs as well, twinkling piano and organ giving way to billowing, thunderous guitar. It’s music that belongs in a symphony hall, if only they’d allow moshing.

09. SINNER, Moodymann

The songs on Sinner, Kenny Dixon, Jr.’s twelfth album as Moodymann, unspool on their own terms, continually mutating as they go on, shifting gears just when you think you’ve got a handle on them. His house isn’t very dense, but there’s always a remarkable amount of intrigue in his deceptively simple sound, evoking early 70′s R&B until strange idiosyncrasies pop out organically from the fabric of the song, pulling focus, reframing it as you’re listening to it. It’s strange, compelling stuff that beckons you to dive beneath its surface, promising you’ll find something new each time.

08. NO HOME RECORD, Kim Gordon

My favorite Sonic Youth songs were always the ones Kim Gordon did lead vocals on. Her hulking monotone was strangely captivating, even when it wasn’t clear what she was even talking about (which was most of the time.) No Home Record is a sublime capitalization and expansion of her power as a vocalist and writer, embracing those same abstract sensibilities that have defined her work for nearly 40 years but pushing them boldly into the future, crafting entrancing, often menacing sonic dreamscapes that are littered with oblique, powerfully resonant hints at the fruits of her near decade of self-discovery after divorcing Thurston Moore. It’s a debut decades in the making that shockingly reveals new, untapped powers from an indelible titan of rock we thought we’d had pegged.

07. HOUSE OF SUGAR, (Sandy) Alex G

Alex Giannascoli’s folk rock warps itself, intentionally obscuring textures and images in a convoluted effort to clarify the feeling behind them. It shouldn’t work but always does, and on House of Sugar, his eighth full-length effort in just nine years, he finds thrilling new power in simplicity and repetition, exemplified by the woozy abstract tapestry of songs like “Walk Away,” “Taking,” or “Near,” wringing a simple phrase, or even just a word, for everything it’s worth, repeating them over and over and over again to craft crystal clear images of longing and pain. But the more traditional songs are just as gripping, striking his strange balance between downtown and backwoods, crafting folk that emanates from deep in the soul and soars out into outer space. 

06. BANDANA, Freddie Gibbs & Madlib

Freddie Gibbs and Madlib reunite on the most virtuosic rap album of the year, taking their unlikely marriage of gangster rap and delicately constructed, meditative beats that sound almost like memories to astonishing new heights. Gibbs grapples with personal demons- the lowest lows of his career, his ongoing relationship with drug abuse- but also flexes, showcasing his effortless flow as he flawlessly keeps pace with Madlib’s twisty production, navigating signature changes and tricky rhythms with ease, perfectly in concert with Madlib’s searching, soulful looping beats that envelop you, contorting right when you’ve settled into them. The collaboration keeps you on your toes, demanding your full attention as they whisk you through their kaleidoscopic vision of masterful, immersive rap.

05. ALL MIRRORS, Angel Olsen

The breakup album has never sounded so lush. Plenty can wax poetic about ridding themselves of toxic partners and of newfound freedom, but Angel Olsen tries to get to the heart of what it all meant, how she’d allowed herself to get lost in the relationship, forgetting herself. She makes the process sound luxurious, utilizing a 12-piece orchestra to inject a bolt of energy and welcome drama into her abstracted songwriting, embracing the darkness and working through it to find herself anew on the other side.

04. WHEN I GET HOME, Solange

When I Get Home sounds like you should be listening to it in a museum- and knowing Solange you’ll probably be able to at some point. Its heady sophistication is constantly announcing itself to you, but that’s not to say that it’s impenetrable. It’s her most personal effort, a surreal tour through the Houston of her memory and the Houston of her imagination, exploring the sounds she was reared on, but refracting them, embracing repetition to create a dreamlike, prismatic journey through her influences that, as Solange puts it, can’t be a singular expression of herself “there’s too many parts, too many spaces, too many manifestations, too many lines, too many curves, too many troubles, too many journeys, too many mountains, too many rivers, so many...”

03. NORMAN FUCKING ROCKWELL!, Lana Del Rey

Norman Fucking Rockwell! is Lana Del Rey’s victory lap, an amalgamation of everything she’s always done well packed into a sprawling 68 minute apocalyptic opus, invoking Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, and most memorably, Sublime while utilizing her trademark playful, disaffected word play to craft a soaring requiem for the world as we know it. “L.A.’s in flames” and who cares when there’s a good time to be had? It’s a stunning “fuck you” to an industry and populace that dismissed her viciously when she arrived on the scene, forging her masterpiece on her own terms.

02. U.F.O.F., Big Thief

U.F.O.F. evokes the sensation of reaching out and attempting to make a connection- a connection with another realm, with the dead, with alien life, with a distant lover. The music is open and searching, and to hear the band talk about the process of writing and recording it, this spirit of experimentation was present in the studio. They’d tinker with instruments none of them knew how to play, hoping whatever they could coax out of it might speak to the ethereal textures and opaque poetry of the music they were working on. The result is a ghostly folk masterclass that launches Big Thief into the stratosphere as they work seamlessly in tandem to craft music that touches God.

01. TITANIC RISING, Weyes Blood

Struggling to cope with a world on the precipice of collapse, Natalie Mering looks backward, invoking the baroque pop of the 1970′s to search for solace in the stars or the arms of another, like Karen Carpenter scrolling through Tinder or Co-Star. But trying to stave herself away in the past only finds herself submerged in her childhood bedroom. So she bolts forward, utilizing familiar frameworks to craft stunningly lush, contemporary and urgent pop that grapples with crises both personal and apocalyptic with an optimism that feels not naive but like a vital lifeline, like a hand reaching out in the darkness to pull you to safety. It may be a futile gesture, but at the end of a decade that’s abruptly descended into a hellscape, it’s a call to keep the faith and forge on.

[ducktracy]

54. the organ grinder (1933)

release date: april 8th, 1933

series: merrie melodies

director: rudolf ising

starring: n/a

don’t worry, the cartoon isn’t as terrifying as the title lets on (you can imagine my surprise when i briefly forgot what an organ grinder was, thinking this was going to be a cartoon about a hungry cannibal or something LOL). we follow the antics of the organ grinder and his monkey, entertaining the citizens of the street.

an italian man and his monkey prowl the streets of the city, the man grinding away at the organ while the monkey bounds around, chattering. an offscreen whistle calls the attention of the monkey, who scales a lamppost to meet the source of the sound. a woman is sticking her head out of her apartment window, holding a coin. the monkey takes off his hat with his tail and graciously accepts the coin, sliding back down the lamppost to his master.

as typical for a merrie melody, the man launches into “the organ grinder” (i can’t seem to find a commercial recording—sorry!) while his monkey partner continues to run around him.

the monkey comes across a hanging bunch of bananas outside of a store front, and helps himself. love this gag of the monkey peeking the banana with zippers, edible banana grams! i always got bored with the game itself, i just liked the banana holding all of the letter pieces LOL.

while the duo traipse down the streets, we get an inside look of one of the apartments. a woman is washing a giant sweater that’s defined to look like it suits a burly man, her “what a man!” asserting that hypothesis. she overhears the organ grinder and sings some bars herself—i love her belty, raspy singing voice! she’s rather large, so it fits. i also love that above shot of the streets. is that beautiful or what? these hand painted backgrounds just can’t be beat. i appreciate the UPA style a lot, but i wish looney tunes had kept the lush backgrounds as they entered the 50s!

another woman across from her grabs a coin and signals for the monkey to come to her, the organ grinder urging him on. there are some very fun visuals of the monkey scaling the towering building, using curtains to propel himself upward. these are the kinds of things i’d imagine myself doing as a kid, using household items as creative devices to swing upward and do whatever, so i’m always glad to see stuff like this—glad to know i’m not the only one who thought about that!

the monkey makes his way to the woman and accepts the coin, stuffing it in his pocket and tipping his hat. he jumps into a pair of underwear hanging on the clothesline and reels himself forward to the voluptuous woman from before, and accepts her tip. i’ll always say this, but the music is beautifully jazzy and upbeat! they always did a good job of making each merrie melody an earworm (well... save for one step ahead of my shadow. i read that buddy the gob is a remake/recycle of that, so that’ll be... interesting to see. also friz freleng’s first independent directorial credit).

to get down, the monkey climbs onto a pair of hanging socks, which tears beneath his weight. he plummets to the ground, a few awnings breaking his fall as he bounces beneath them, finally landing in a pair of pajamas that he gets out by unbuttoning the butt flap. the gags and the animation are so fun and imaginative! these are all the things i dreamed of doing as a kid. very nice to watch!

hurrying back to the organ grinder, the monkey gives him the coins he collected to put in the cup, prompting the organ grinder to pinch his cheeks. i should add that the monkey’s name is tony. that’s great LOL. nothing like an italian guy in new york city (or a facsimile of nyc) parading the streets with his monkey tony.

suddenly, a group of children crowd around the organ grinder. the organ grinder instructs tony to do some tricks, instructing him to dance and to shake his little can. tony shakes his ass in front of the children (love it), and the organ grinder quickly stops him (“what’s-a matta you?”) giving him the actual collection can for him to shake. there’s some fun animation of tony dancing to the organ music, cranking a nearby alley cat’s tail like an organ and prompting it to yowl out the notes of the song.

frightened by the cat’s hissing, the monkey (i don’t know if i have it in me to keep calling him tony) runs by a nearby thrift store. he spots a mannequin and plucks off its wig and puts it on, making a caricature of harpo marx. certainly an interesting first harpo marx caricature!

he then rushes to a nearby harp and plucks the strings, pulling a string that sends him rocketing through the air. he uses his tail as a spring (good) and hops back over to the crowd of kiddies, who applaud him.

first caricatures of laurel and hardy! another looney tunes favorite to caricature, especially hardy. he’d even be portrayed as a pig in a few cartoons, such as the case of the stuttering pig (evidently a relative of porky’s), you ought to be in pictures (ACTUALLY porky disguising himself as hardy), and the timid toreador (once again porky, the gag thrown completely out of nowhere LOL). the monkey transforms his face into laurel and then hardy.

interest lost with caricatures, the monkey turns his attention to a piano, swiping the keys with his tail. he hops on the stool and plays the piano, the children of the street singing “the organ grinder” (complete with a baby singing a verse in a bass voice. a standard goodie). another piano comes into view, and the monkey plays the dueling pianos with his hands and feet, very impressive! i could barely play ONE piano without quitting after a few years of lessons, let alone two.

now the monkey launches into “42nd street”, sitting on an accordion, beating a drum with his tale, and playing a clarinet. the song 42nd street would be used in a few cartoons (such as daffy running amuck with a paintbrush in daffy doodles). 42nd street was a popular musical that birthed a few songs you may have heard of: we’re in the money, lullaby on broadway, young and healthy, shuffle off to buffalo... three of those would all be merrie melodies, too.

like anyone would, the monkey gets carried away by the spirit of the song. he ends up hijacking a car, running into a fruit stand and eventually into a music shop (where the organ grinder narrowly avoids being crushed).

the monkey comes out on top, his car now tricked out with various instruments. the organ grinder pops up in the backseat and grinds his organ as they parade through the streets, playing music for all to hear. iris out.

for a relatively plotless cartoon, this one was really enjoyable! the music was very catchy (the organ grinding was a little hard on the ears, but the jazz score was fantastic) and the gags were fun, fresh, and crisply animated. there was a lot of personality in this cartoon, and celebrity caricatures are always a plus! very enjoyable, i’d recommend a watch!

link!

[thebandcampdiaries]

AP Project introducing brand new EP: "Out Of The Blue."

A kaleidoscopic collection of 8 tracks, each exploring different ideas and breaking the usual genre definitions.

One of the most amazing things about music as a form of expression is that it is more than the sum of its parts. Music is not notes, instruments, and people. Music is about elevation. It involves mastering a craft to tell a story, and share feelings with the world. AP Project's new release, "Out Of The Blue," is an exemplary personification of this remarkable attitude towards creativity and music. With their sound, the Italian combo set out to explore many different genres and ideas. The EP unfolds gently, but surely, from the sophistication of jazz to the warmth of R&B and the lush textures of ambient.

Neapolitan guitarist and composer Arcangelo Pezzella, the mastermind behind the project, had an ambitious vision. He wanted to push his limits as an artist, and he wanted to accomplish something special with his songwriting. The expression "Out Of The Blue" is a rather elegant name for an album with such a distinctive flair. On one hand, the title could be intended as something happening all of a sudden, perhaps something that you wouldn't expect. On the other, it could represent a passage from a state of mind to another. Much like clouds floating in the summer sky, these songs are malleable and extremely eclectic, each bringing something different to the album.

Arcangelo joined forces with Guido Foi (piano and keyboards), Alessandro Petricciuolo (bass), and Francesco Pellegrino (drums), as well as vocalist Angela Addezio. These musicians developed undeniable chemistry and the ability to seamlessly bounce off each other's different influences and musical upbringings. The opening number, "Hi. Ro. Mi." kicks off with a silky piano melody and an understated drum part. However, the song quickly morphs into a sophisticated modern jazz composition. It combines complex playing with minimalistic melodies and beautifully restrained lead guitar work. Arcangelo knows not to overplay, letting each note be more expressive and eloquent. "Brighter" has a one-of-a-kind flavor, which makes me think of artists as diverse as Marc Ribot and Julian Lage. This song tips the hat off to tango, while still retaining strong jazz foundations. "Dancing In The Dark" is the first song on the album to feature vocals. Angela Addezio has a deep and sultry tone, which matches the candle-lit atmosphere of this song.

Later, the title track brings a touch of rock to the EP. The swell sound at the beginning, as well as the epic progressive guitar parts, might remind you of iconic acts such as King Crimson. The challenging tempo, as well as the sustained guitar notes, showcase the band's edgier side, while still retaining its nuanced feel. "Memories" is perhaps one of the most introspective songs on the record, and it also features Angela on vocals. The drumbeat is the star here, incorporating influences as diverse as jazz, funk, and neo-soul. The track makes me think of what it might sound like if TOE, D'Angelo, and Sam Prekop had a massive jam session!

"Desperate Love" will take you back in time with its more traditional flavor. This is a stunningly romantic track, with an impeccable feel and a touching vocal performance from Angela.

"Miss Bibi" starts with a lonely, beautifully emotional guitar segment, combining lead phrasing with suspended chords and various effects to achieve an emotional sound. The rest of the band joins in seamlessly, with a very dreamy beat and one of the coolest bass lines on the EP.

Last, but not least, "Before You Leave" serves as a perfect curtain closer for this release. The song's introduction features some tasty overdriven electric guitar leads, and after a tense moment of silence, it delves into a bittersweet melody. Although you can hear the band's jazz influences, the sound of this release reminds me of seminal math rock groups such as American Football, as well as Owls and This Town Needs Guns, only to mention a few. I love the somber atmosphere of this song, as well as the progressive nature of its structure.

Ultimately, what I love about this EP is the fact that it's not trying to be anything specific. From the get-go, the band will tell you that this isn't an attempt to fit into any given genre, but rather the culmination of a desire to make music that matters, unrestrained by the usual constraints. Who says that you cannot have a rock guitar in a jazz album? Why can't you feature songs with vocals, as well as instrumentals? This EP pushes all the right buttons and it stands out as a big statement against musical stiffness. Somewhere between the avant-garde and the traditional, the songs on this EP have one thing in common: they feel like a spontaneous flow of music. From the moment you hit the play button, you can't help but notice the excellent care and attention to detail, which went into the making of this composition. Today, genre barriers don't mean much anymore, and this is a trend that is even affecting music on a mainstream level (just think of artists like Billie Eilish, who can't be thrown into an easy category). In Fact, it would not be a stretch to say that "diversity" is definitely a strong keyword when it comes to describing the sound of this release from Italy's AP Project.

This is a must-listen for any fan of spontaneous music that will keep you on the edge of your seat. The album's setlist is also well-arranged, with every song sitting exactly where it should be to transport the listener someplace else.

Find out more about AP Project, and listen to "Out Of The Blue," which is now available through the web's major streaming platforms:

https://open.spotify.com/album/7MoaTvTBfJdelCcoOlJ46p

https://music.apple.com/it/album/out-of-the-blue/1466879464?l=en

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/approject/out-of-the-blue

We also had the chance to catch up with AP Project for a few questions: keep reading to learn more.

I love how you manage to render your tracks so personal and organic. Does the melody come first, or do you focus on the beat the most?

Answer: There’s not really a difference when it comes to my personal way of composing. During the writing process of Out Of The Blue, it was sometimes a melody, sometimes a groove and other times a particular harmonic progression! It depends on how I feel the very moment of composing.

Do you perform live? If so, do you feel more comfortable on a stage or within the walls of the recording studio?

Answer: Yes, we have. I must say that the thrill of the stage makes everything more interesting, both for the audience and us musicians. On the other hand, being in the warmth of the studio has also its charms and benefits on the music we play.

If you could only pick one song to make a “first impression” on a new listener, which song would you pick and why?

Answer: I would definitively choose Hi. Ro. Mi., but Memories would be a good choice as well. As for the first one, I feel that it reflects the beginning of the journey the album/EP represents: having the listener accepted to embark in it, no part of it will have been spoiled and every track will feel like a new stop, an end, and a new beginning.

What does it take to be “innovative” in music?

Answer: I suppose that innovation is all about using already used materials and forging new music, delivering renewed emotions, as well as exploring new sonic territories, possibly by defying genre-related boundaries.

Any upcoming release or tour your way?

Answer: I’m currently working on finding someone to help us organize a series of concerts and possibly a tour. On the other hand, I’m already working on new music, trying to push myself even more into experimentation.

Anywhere online where curious fans can listen to your music and find out more about you?

Answer: You can find us on IG, Facebook, and Twitter, while our music is on every streaming platform!

https://www.instagram.com/_ap.project_/

https://twitter.com/arcangelo_ap

https://www.facebook.com/AP-Project-476824673056590/

Releases (choose your streaming platform through the link): https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/approject/out-of-the-blue

[thesinglesjukebox]

HAIM - NOW I'M IN IT

[7.54]

Hard times...

Ian Mathers: Sometimes adulthood feels like the process of realizing you've been "trying to find [your] way back for a minute" for years now. Part of that is that you can never get back (to fewer responsibilities, a younger body, a less complicated life) and part of that is that you don't need to because you've grown in ways you didn't expect or notice and part of that is just that feeling like you're in it is just the condition of being an adult (at least here and now). Of course, Danielle Haim has said the song is about depression. I'm not the only person I know for whom adulthood and depression seem inextricable. [8]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: Like grey clouds drifting slowly overhead, depression can manifest itself gradually. You may not even notice it happening. That is, until it's too big to ignore: suddenly, there's an underlying sadness that keeps popping up, and you're too anxious to reach out to others, too unhappy to look in the mirror, too tired to leave your apartment. You're just in it. "Now I'm In It" perfectly captures the moment you realize this -- and while so many songs that discuss mental health can seem condescending or sloganeering, the introspection that Haim does here is genuinely powerful. This is art about depression without wallowing, set to an undulating guitar rift that recalls the strength of "Dancing on My Own." At face value, "Damn I'm in it/ And I've been tryna find my way back for a minute" sounds so simple as to be mundane, but to me, it feels like liberation that can only come from being honest with yourself. Every time I hear it, it feels like air in my lungs, sunshine on my skin. There's a moment during the music video (at 3:20) when, after making it through a shit day, Danielle Haim musters the energy to go out with her sisters. As they cross the street, drums beat triumphantly and a sample of what sounds like cheering plays -- and then, inexplicably, she breaks the fourth wall, shooting a glance directly into the camera, almost like she's looking directly at her depression and giving it the side eye. I have yet to give a 10 since starting to write for TSJ, but that moment alone merits my first one. [10]

Michael Hong: Perhaps the best shot of the music video is the one in which Danielle Haim goes through a car wash, but the most emblematic is likely the penultimate one, where she downs a shot, grimaces and takes one breath. The song is its "before image," a tightly wound version of Danielle Haim over a tense guitar that feels synthetic as it pulses across the track. As it progresses, Danielle loosens up and regains some of that confidence symbolic of Haim. The instrumental also gradually shifts, focusing more attention on other more organic elements. The piano line on the bridge allows her to take stock of her surroundings, backed in harmony by her sisters, but it's those drums on the last chorus that deliver the track's final moment of catharsis. Like depression, that guitar vamp remains, but Haim push it to the background, mostly stopping it from overpowering themselves. It's Danielle Haim, defiantly rejecting depression and taking back control for what feels like that penultimate shot -- the ability to finally breathe after a particularly difficult episode. [8]

Isabel Cole: If it hadn't been for Danielle Haim's Instagram post, I probably wouldn't have known to read this as a song about mental health. But once I saw that it made an immediate intuitive sense: the anxious thrumming that won't relent even as the melody opens up in the chorus, stumbling-fast lyrics sketching a harried picture of isolation, an atmosphere of panic and dread like pacing restlessly in a room you can't make yourself leave. The sigh of regret in the bridge, the dawning realization that you can no longer deny. I've spent a lot of hours looking for something I knew I wouldn't find in mirrors, too. Haim build a gorgeous encasement for the sentiment, lush and textured and perfect, actually, for listening to on repeat on a long walk taken trying to get a little further back to yourself; I particularly love the moment the second verse starts and everything deepens and opens at once. Would love this even if I weren't spiritually obligated to give at least a [7] to any song that closes by layering one of its parts over the other. [9]

Alfred Soto: Whenever they use a skittering rhythm track that forces them into breathlessness, I swoon, but then I liked but then Something to Tell You more than most. The ghost of "I Love You Always Forever" haunts -- will Haim's next album study their idea of '90s-ness? [7]

Will Adams: Haim, always ones to wear their references on their sleeves, take their soft-rock aesthetic to the extreme by synthesizing "I Want You" and "I Love You Always Forever." Those choices alone make "Now I'm In It" great, but Danielle using her signature patter to evoke racing thoughts is the cherry on top. The verse barges in by the second chorus, words tumbling over each other resulting in sensory overload. And then, finally, gloriously, the bridge arrives, when everything falls away and a moment of clarity is reached. The ensuing chorus is the same as it was, but now it feels assured, confident amidst the chaos. "Now I'm In It" is a song about going through it that goes through it. [8]

Tobi Tella: The frantic, almost falling-on-top-of-each-other speed of the lyrics is the real secret of the song -- it puts the listener on edge from minute one. I wish it built to more in certain ways, but I think the tension with such little release feels deliberate -- I feel like I'm still in it too. [7]

Kylo Nocom: Never trust a man who will gleefully scrutinize a Haim track's influences as a marker of unoriginality and yet ignore any accusation you throw at LCD Soundsystem. "Now I'm In It" bubbles, springs, and thrusts forward until the sisters reach a bridge that would make Vampire Weekend circa Modern Vampires proud. [8]

Oliver Maier: Rostam and Rechtshaid's production team-up unsurprisingly results in shades of the bleary, melancholic sound of Modern Vampires of the City, notably in the bluesy piano, ambient noise and thudding drums that filter in after the second chorus. That moment also happens to be the point at which Haim often run out of ideas (even in their best songs) and resort to padding out the remainder of the track with repetition upon repetition to the point of indulgence. Here they're more economical, more conscientious of the song's arc, and the final chorus feels earned rather than copy-pasted as a result. A shame that said chorus is not quite as catchy as they're capable of, though "I can hear it/But I can't feel it" is as succinct and lovely a lyric about depression as has ever been penned. [6]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: "Now I'm In It" turns the corner well-- that slowdown after the two-minute mark, when the piano and harmonies come in and the fervent pulse of the rhythm guitar stills a little, is genuine catharsis. But the rest, both before and after, feels nervy and formless. Danielle remains a great pop vocalist, but the words she sings are sketches and the beat below it sounds like something Katy Perry and Zedd would've thrown out earlier this year. [5]

Thomas Inskeep: The song throbs and thrums, yet the Haim sisters just sound bored, and I'm unmoved. Actually, worse than unmoved: I'm annoyed. [3]

William John: While the track motors along behind her, Danielle Haim here breathlessly corkscrews her way through the awful, disenfranchising inertia that most of us are prone to from time to time. When paired with preceding single "Summer Girl", "Now I'm In It" seems to indicate that a central theme of Haim's putative third album will be the power of the collective in providing a fulcrum for those experiencing trauma. Though the lyric sheet suggests the protagonist remains in the widening gyre, the music video powerfully reinforces the notion that help is always available, even when it seems like it isn't. And maybe the gyre remains, but maybe also, with others around to lend a hand, it might stop widening, or even get a bit narrower. Haim have always been about "the sisterhood," in the most literal sense, but the image of Este and Alana, scuttling down a street and carrying Danielle on a stretcher, nursing her through the rut, might be their paradigm illustration of that concept. [9]

Kayla Beardslee: In the past month or two, as I've built up enough reviews to start referencing my past scores as a consistent standard, I've latched onto two regrets over too-low scores. One of those regrets is "Summer Girl": I was initially impressed and gave it an 8, but as the song kept growing on me in the following weeks, I realized I loved it enough to be a 10. The brilliance of Danielle Haim's restrained vocals, the quiet intensity of the lyrics, the sax riff that carries it all along -- it was quickly becoming my favorite Haim track. Well, the good news is that I was wrong: "Summer Girl" is still an 8 or 9. This is a 10. "Now I'm In It" sounds, somehow, both clean and impossibly hazy. The production is mixed clearly, but allows each bouncing bass note and subtle sound effect to shine; in contrast, Danielle's voice, as impressively agile as ever, folds itself into reverb and whispered backing vocals. Even the fuzz of static in the background of the bridge feels like purposefully crafted chaos. The sisters have said that the song is about Danielle's struggle with depression, and the lyrics reinforce that idea of being stuck in a mental fog. Like the bridge of "Summer Girl," the heart of "In It" boils down to a specific moment: in this case, it's when Danielle sings, full of longing, "And the rain keeps coming down along the ceiling/And I can hear it/But I can't feel it." I love that line, not only because it's absent from the first chorus and comes as a total surprise in the second, but because of how well it works as a metaphor on two levels. Being numb to "the rain" can signify detachment from the outside world, but it can also mean refusing to acknowledge your own depression: this track is smart and detailed enough to express both. And yet the music itself is a rejection of the lethargy of depression. With layers of instrumentation being constantly added and dropped, each section of the song is unique, and all of it builds up to that forceful, cathartic final chorus. In a lesser song, this clear sense of musical growth working against the stagnant nature of the lyrics would feel contradictory, but here, it feels instead like an intentional message of hope. Things will change, even in the storm -- and, if "Now I'm In It" is any indication, Haim will only keep getting better. [10]

[Read and comment on The Singles Jukebox]

[sickandtideeeee]

By Bast - Chapter 8 (Erik x Reader)

A/N: i know this fic is using the stretchiest definition of slow burn but i hope you guys enjoy this and leave comments!!

Erik was never normally chatty, but even he had to admit that he was slightly unnerved by the oppressive silence shrouding him and the young woman gently unraveling a measuring cord along the length of his shoulders.

For someone in his particular line of work, quiet was a gift and solitude was both blessed and requisite. Erik rarely craved company, save for those few nights where yearnings of the flesh threatened his mental clarity. He only partook in conversation where he commanded the dialogue - words were weapons, after all. His entire life had been derailed over an exchange of words.

However, at this very moment, the new king wanted nothing more than for this woman to say a word to him.

His auditory senses heightened, he took note of her steady, shallow exhales. She was clearly still afraid of him, even if she tried to feign otherwise. He could practically feel her heart pounding in her chest, thumping so hard he could feel the pulse ever so faintly in her fingertips.

The skin of her hands was surprisingly rougher than he expected, sparking a curiosity as to how hard she worked. She wasn’t exactly a servant, after all. In fact, he wasn’t exactly clear what a temple priestess did apart from pray all the time.

Fast? That ass was entirely too fat for regular fasting.

Burn incense? Now that she was only inches apart from him, an ever-so-slight scent of sandalwood and serenity wafted from her skin. Perhaps.

Tend the garden? Well… not anymore.

Then he recalled that she was also a scientist – an engineer, not unlike him. She surely had the stubbornness befitting one.

Stubborn and strange. She revealed a confusing mixture of obvious fear and complete disregard for him as an authority. Had he broken her enough to affect her sense of self-preservation? Was she just stupid? Or was it something else entirely?

His mind flashed back to her assault at Warrior Falls. Those eyes…

“P-please stand up. I would like to measure your waist,” you spoke up, softly.

Erik’s mind rarely wandered, and the fact that it had done so regarding you alarmed him. He rose to his feet without a word, locking eyes with you in a dominating gaze.

You were relatively tall for a woman, but he was taller. Refusing to look into his eyes, you coiled the cord around his waist, your face growing warm as you accidentally grazed his abdomen with your fingertips. You internally berated yourself for blushing like some idiot schoolgirl. You hoped you would never be this close again, unless it were to slash through his internal organs.

“Nkiru.” You didn’t like the way your name sounded in his voice.

Your stomach lurched as you let the flimsy tool fall from around his waist to the ground. What had you done now?

“You a witch or something?”

Bewildered, you took a couple of automatic steps back and studied his expression. You were shocked to see that there was no flicker of that rude smirk, no sign of jest. He was completely and utterly serious.

“Excuse me?” You bent down to pick the measuring cord off the ground to guard your facial expression, but he continued his line of questioning.

“Can you see things? Like a medium or something?”

What kind of nonsense…

“No,” you said, curtly. “Could you hold out your right arm, please?” You muttered, hoping he wouldn’t press the conversation further.

Instead, he ripped the instrument out of your hands, rolled it into a ball, and tossed it behind him.

“You and I know damn well you don’t need to be measuring shit.”

He was right. This was a complete farce given that Shuri’s suit technology molded to its wearer. Somehow it angered you that he had humored you humoring him.

You clasped your hands in front of you to prevent from balling them into fists, indignation rising within.

“What can I do for you then… my King?” You seethed through a fabricated smile.

“Answer the damn question.” He replied, now reclining into his bed once more in his signature power pose, legs crossed. The definition of arrogance.

“I already said no.”

“No spirits?”

You opened your mouth to say no, but before the denial could escape your lips, you were overcome with the sensation of a ten-pound weight being dropped inside your throat. Rapidly running out of air, you collapsed to your knees, clawing at your throat in a wild panic.

TELL THE TRUTH!

Almost immediately you were drenched in a cold sweat, your gaze frenzied. This astringent, booming voice now searing through your head wasn’t Bast!

And how would you speak when you couldn’t breathe?

N’Jadaka was now crouched before you, his eyes unable to conceal the slightest bit of concern – or rather, confusion. Was he causing this? You couldn’t tell, but you were certain if this persisted for the next twenty seconds you would asphyxiate.

Speak or perish.

“Y-YES!!” you sputtered, eyes warm with tears. You heaved dryly, doubling over so carelessly you slammed into N’Jadaka’s hard chest. Somehow, he didn’t topple over.

“I-I don’t see them! But I…” you let out an involuntary hiccup, your diaphragm getting re-accustomed to air. “S-She or they?! … I hear Bast! And these strange things keep happening and - “ You gasped for air forcefully, your forehead still pressed into his torso.

“A-and… and it’s all surrounding you! You evil bastard, you started this nonsense and-“ You continued to blubber incomprehensibly.

N’Jadaka remained as still as a statue. Your sobs filled the air for a few more moments, your body pressed into his, and you soon remembered where you were and sobered up.

You leaned back onto your heels, wiping away your tears and rubbing your neck. A small portion of the lush burgundy carpet before N’Jadaka was now wet with your tears. His gaze was penetrating, and you felt almost naked, your sense of vulnerability was so great.

“Will that happen again?” he said, gravely.

You shook your head no.

“Good. I don’t wanna see no more of that crying shit.” He sighed and got to his feet again, and to both your surprise and embarrassment extended a hand to you.

You didn’t take it.

His nostrils flared, but he instead sat down cross-legged on the carpet in front of you.

“What has Bast said about me?”

This man could be a great leader, but his heart is filled with hatred and contempt. That was what she had said. You were afraid to lie again, but you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of a compliment.

“She said you had a heart filled with hatred and contempt.”

N’Jadaka flinched almost imperceptibly, as if he had been physically attacked. Then he smirked.

“If you knew where I’ve been, you’d know why.” He said.

There was never an excuse for being such a murderous, pompous bastard, you thought. What could possibly explain the monster he had become?

You shook your head. He smiled again, his grin this time tainted with a hint of sadness.

“Let me tell you a story about a kid who grew up in Oakland.”

Tagging:  @syndrlla97 @iwantsomethingeternal@1killmonger@chasingsunlight@hoopshoney @destinio1@wakanda-inspired@thadelightfulone @lalasparkles @pessimisfit @youreadthatright @stark-red19 @ruruly20@bossyboyd03 @autumn242 @heybriheyyy @thelovelyliterary @muse-of-mbaku @bidibidibombaclaat @supersizemeplz @romanceoftheeveryday 

[Prologue][Chapter One][Chapter Two][Chapter Three][Chapter Four][Chapter Five][Chapter Six][Chapter Seven]

[elwoodbonner424-blog]

25 Greatest Pop Songs Of 2018

Ambient is a mode that describes a large spectrum of music. The swing period made stars of many popular singers together with the young Frank Sinatra , Bing Crosby , Dinah Shore , Jo Stafford , Perry Como , Peggy Lee , Patti Web page , and David Whitfield Two notable innovations had been the addition of string sections and orchestral preparations and extra emphasis on the vocal efficiency. 2 The addition of lush strings will be heard in a lot of the favored music all through the Forties and Nineteen Fifties. Within the early 1950s because the dominance of swing gave strategy to the normal pop music era, most of the vocalists related to swing bands became even more widespread, and were central figures in common music. There have been a couple of educational tasks that have discussed homogeneity of music. In 2017, Noah Askin and Michael Mauskapf researched What Makes a Quantity One Hit , utilizing EchoNest knowledge. They discovered that songs that attain the very best echelons of the charts bear some similarity to other in style songs that are out on the same time, however they should be unique in certain methods. That's, they should be optimally differentiated." Similar to this article, they produced a music similarity rating referred to as typicality." Not like our method, this metric controlled for style. That's, songs had been in contrast within their style of hip hop, rock, country, and many others. somewhat than the entire Billboard chart. We had them produce their typicality rating for songs reaching the highest 10, and the results are considerably similar to ours (line going up = songs are more similar), although the trend only begins in the Nineteen Nineties, with songs changing into extra numerous from the late-50s to late-80s. I have been pondering just lately about what it is that provides rise to 'good' and 'dangerous' pop music. I think pop music is a singular style, since industrial success and significant acclaim don't necessarily go hand-in-hand. It is doable for a pop music to be massively profitable but be universally panned by critics. Nevertheless, it's nonetheless fairly frequent for pop songs to be loved by the masses and receive optimistic reviews. A number of examples that instantly spring to thoughts are the likes of Royals, Uptown Funk, Get Fortunate, and Any person That I Used To Know which all enjoyed great success whilst receiving mostly positive reviews. Nonetheless, then again you've gotten the current success of Shape Of You which of them has garnered mostly lukewarm to negative critiques regardless of dominating the charts.

The piano, in particular, has been an unparalleled outlet for those seeking escape, artistic expression, and easily fun and joy. The modern piano has 36 black and 52 white keys, making a total of 88 keys and www.magicaudiotools.com is played using a keyboard. The piano was first invented round 1700 and is used for a lot of forms of music including classical, jazz, traditional and popular. Typically regarded as the best musical instrument to begin enjoying it is highly versatile, has a large-range and a grand ability to alter dynamics. You like music and want to know what you're talking about in an effort to be the one whom all of your friends and family will depend on when they wish to know more about pop music. Pop is the short time period for "Fashionable" and it encompasses a lot of music. Since what's fashionable modifications with time, lots of various kinds of music will depend as pop. You'll be able to construct your musical information and familiarity with the world of pop music with a little help from wikiHow. See more on how after the jump.

After all, real causes for shame are riddled via pop historical past: American widespread tradition has its deepest roots in slavery, the blackface minstrel present, ethnic vaudeville comedy, brothels and burlesque, religious revival actions, rural poverty, urban segregation, mob-run clubs and labels, wheeler-dealer rip-offs and plenty of different not-so-fairly chapters. Cultural theft, pandering, shock and other crass strikes are sure up with pop innovation and creativity. Be crucial, however don't get on excessive horses, as a result of very few of our artistic heroes might be disentangled from these dubious, typically tragic associations.So one might ask: does at this time's church leadership have a responsibility to edify its congregation by presenting each shorter and longer pieces, in quite a lot of kinds, from completely different eras and for various mixtures of devices? Isn't this the best way to …put together God's people for works of service, in order that the physique of Christ may be built up…"(Eph. 4:12)? Contemporary Christian worship songs are sometimes lovely, exciting, and inspirational, but for my part, to summarily eradicate all different kinds of music just isn't reflective of latest life. Such a apply is not going to solely forestall younger churchgoers from recognizing and remembering hymns and different sacred music from the past 500 years — it might also produce in them an underdeveloped artistic sense. They might discover it difficult to enter and performance in a culture that also values intellectual achievement and the art of music in all its guises.We have minimized the music industry, but did rock stars emerge regardless of the most important labels or in part because of them? I believe the large commerce-off we used to have was that loopy, risky individuals who can't even gown themselves could make thousands and thousands as recording artists as a result of that they had 20 staffers around to put their pants on for them. If you're bananas, you are great onstage, but offstage you must be led round and talked to love a ninety-12 months-previous ("RIGHT HERE IS THE MICROPHONE. WE WANT YOU TO SING NOW.") since you are unimaginable, and that's a relationship that requires two parties.Meanwhile, Nogueira can also be putting on music live shows particularly composed for the enjoyment of CI users. He and his colleagues within the Auditory Prosthetic Group at the college's German Hearing Heart organized meetings between composers and CI customers, who shared details about the expertise and their experiences with music. The musicians then wrote electroacoustic numbers impressed by what they'd discovered and by the patients themselves. We have been aiming at music that can be similarly perceived by CI users and normal hearing listeners," says Nogueira.Some, like Eric Clapton (Tears In Heaven") and Carlos Santana (Supernatural"), are '60s veterans who traveled a protracted, exhausting street to mainstream pop success. Then there are the MTV-era stars, who convey the glamour and technical perfection of vintage Hollywood to modern music: Janet Jackson (That's The Approach Love Goes"), Toni Braxton (Un-Break My Heart"), Mariah Carey (One Sweet Day"), and Sheryl Crow (All I Wanna Do"). Different current-day pop icons —a mong them Li'l Kim, R. Kelly , and Snoop Dogg — have crossed over to the mainstream from the r&b and rap charts, just as Religion Hill and Shania Twain have executed from their original base in nation music.

[ribbithe8]

2022 Music Highlights

I know I look like I exclusively listen to Kpop based on my Kpop writeup/s but that’s because I just run out of steam by the time I’ve finished them… so I neglect to write about the other music I listen to 😓 I am not only Kpop/popular music listener!!! Actually outside of Kpop, I listen to a lot of niche music… Whenever I check Obscurify I always get 99%+ more obscure than the rest of US listeners SLKDFJDSLKFJ.

Gonna try to organize this by general genre/artist so hopefully you can find new music to listen to ^o^

Experimental, Indie Pop

Blood Cultures

Shout out to my coworker for introducing me to Blood Cultures… while I’m not into their entire discography, the songs that I do enjoy have me by the neck…

Best for You

Best For You is probably my favorite song of 2022, period T___TT at first I thought it was just pleasant but the more I looped it the more I could not stop… It has such a dreamy surreal quality to it that it automatically helps me relax. It feels emotional, cathartic, full, and lush all at once. As for the lyrics, even though they’re kind of muffled by the instrumental, I like that they carry a lot of emotion and longing… I think if I had listened to this in college I wouldn’t have seen the appeal, but now as my music taste has matured I’ve discovered I do like psychedelic soundscapes. Anywho my coworker sent it to me in February and I listened to it pretty much every week of 2022, and still am listening to it! How’s that for staying power.

Phospholipid

Phospholipid is another of my favorites!! It’s entrancing and relaxing, and there’s not a single section of the song I don’t like. When the part at 1:03 kicks in it’s perfection, but then the guitar that kicks in at 1:23 is pure bliss. And then the electronic part at 2:23 is also great too… I just really enjoy this song and its pulsing textures lol

Wednesday Campanella

Not really sure where to put Wedcamp since even though they do a lot of EDM, it feels more experimental… so I will put them here. I feel like Wedcamp is a little hard to classify/discuss since there’s a significant difference in their sound pre-KOM_I leaving and now, with their current vocalist Utaha. Their music definitely sounds more poppy now to match Utaha’s “cuter” and lusher vocal color, but still retains some of their earlier quirkiness. If anything I wish I was fluent in Japanese so I could fully appreciate all the wordplay in their lyrics.

Alice

Waaaaah Alice T_T Another huge stand out in music I found in 2022…! I’ve been obsessed with this song since first listen. I love Utaha’s voice and how rich it is, especially in this song. The entire structure of this song is pretty unique I think… the edm drop/break is sandwiched between the chorus and second verse, when usually it’s the first part of the chorus or used as a bridge. My favorite part of Alice is from 1:38 to 2:27… IT’S PURE BLISS!!!!! The steady beat, Utaha’s gorgeous singing style, the woowoo awoo awoo part with the added guitar layer, and the quirky whistling… so so addictive. If you watch some of Utaha’s performances on The First Take, you can really see and hear the joy in her voice as she sings… she’s having fun singing and performing ;__;

Orihime

ORIHIME IS SOOOOO GOOD the beat is infectious, and I love how it changes things up constantly throughout the song. It starts off sounding like a pretty normal catchy pop song, but then you hit the rap break/chorus(?) that’s jarring at first, but actually slaps……

Now onto KOM_I Wedcamp songs!

Aladdin

Aladdin is musical perfection. Like, just listen to the intro. If you aren’t sold on the song by the intro alone then who are you even… This song just makes you want to groove!!!! It feels like disco and aquatic at the same time… KOM_I’s singing style has a wispy air to it but is super expressive in this song, it’s the cherry on top to a FANTASTIC, dense, full of life instrumental. The instrumental break at 2:43 to 3:13 is 🤯

Melos

Holy shit this song. Melos is gorgeous, both the MV (shot in Mongolia) and song. That jazzy, stripped back intro is pure bliss…… however I do wish the chorus had kept the same style as the rest of the song lol. The edm shift and future bass drop is a bit jarring and I honestly haven’t adjusted to it as warmly as I have with Orihime, BUT that doesn’t detract from the work of art Melos is. And Wedcamp is experimental for a reason.

Seraph - DPR IAN

Idk if I should categorize Ian as experimental pop/indie but hmm.. I think this song kinda fits the bill? It’s very. How do I describe it. It feels transcendent and almost religious. This song caught me so off guard when I heard it in teasers for the first time, I could not stop looping it. I’m still in awe of it, and I think it outshines every other song on the album LOL. Like it starts off so minimalist and atmospheric, with some violins, gradually layering on electronic sounds and what sounds so much like Tuvan throat singing. It feels hypnotizing, and then suddenly as Ian starts actually singing, the instrumental erupts like a cathartic release…like you’re ascending to the heavens… THIS SONG IS SO GOOD. The layering and production and everything…

珂拉琪 (Collage)

Collage was such a pleasant surprise on my Discover Weekly playlist… I am niche music liker so finding a really good Taiwanese band that sings in Amis (Taiwanese indigenous language) as well as Taiwanese and Japanese all in the same song/s makes me 🤩 I think their style is kinda pop-rocky with some jazz/folk elements?

MALIYANG

Maliyang feels more like straightforward popular music with some acoustic/folk elements compared to some of their other stuff. It starts out in Japanese then changes to Amis. Natsuko (the female vocalist) sounds great here.

TORATORAW

Toratoraw sounds more unique I think. I love the kinda raspy delivery of the first lines…

L’enfer - Stromae

Ok I know Stromae isn’t indie but I didn’t want to make an entire section that’s just “French” and have only this song ALKJDFKLSJF. I think L’enfer is experimental… this song is breathtaking musically on its own. But then when you read the lyrics, it hits so much harder. I think I cried the first time I listened to it while reading the lyrics… it’s so powerful. The electronic drops throughout the song go hard, but they also really convey the feeling of internal torment and pain that depression and suicidal ideation can bring. Just… man. This song makes you feel despair, empathy, pain… Stromae is a musical genius to me…

Moody…? Chinese Music

I don’t really know how to group these songs lol but they’re all kinda slower or more emotional than my other music…

不算經常 但是偶爾 - GONG

Oh my god… this song is probably my favorite GONG song since I heard 劫 (Inhibition). There’s something about the soft instrumental and his emotional voice that transports me to another place… I’m so happy this song is 6 minutes long too because I could listen to this for 24 hours straight and not get sick of it… it’s so beautiful… even though I like his hip hop inspired tracks too, his more experimental ambient songs are my favorite T_T His voice is just so fitted for them

完美天氣 - 李桑野 ft. NINEONE#

I love how atmospheric and mellow this song is :’) Also really like the vocal effects during the chorus.

再也沒有 - Ryan.B, AY杨佬叁

Love how emotional and smooth this song is. It’s very sentimental/has a regretful feeling to it… You can feel such raw emotion during the chorus when he sings 我再也沒有對你生氣.

終究還是因為愛 - TRASH

Yooooo Taiwan (Mandarin) rock + edm????!!! Sign me up. I really enjoy this song…很好聽

Ok less moody Chinese songs now.

羞花 - 音阙诗听, 王梓钰

I listen to a lot of 音阙诗听’s music since it’s traditional but with a modern twist so it feels a little poppy… this one feels a little more modern than some of their other songs and it’s so catchy. Her voice is really sweet too.

地球逃离计划 - 江迟同学

I really love the mood of this song T_T!!! It feels a little old-school like songs I’d listen to in the mid-2000s, it puts me in a good mood… I also really like the rap combined with the refreshing acoustic-ish vibe.

Electronic

I realize “electronic” is very broad but I dunno how else to categorize this music lol… admittedly the majority of what I listen to is edm-adjacent.

Sakana uo Sakana (bakui)

LOVE LOVE LOVE bakui’s work… I feel so blessed my mutual retweeted a clip of IESIAS onto my TL and I happened to unmute the video. As someone who used to be super into Vocaloid, I think their music would appeal to a lot of Vocaloid listeners…? Their work has a very nostalgic, kind of video gamey, retro/VHS (at times) atmosphere that’s both relaxing and enthralling at once. Paired with their incredible animations it transports you into another world… What’s most impressive about their work is that they’re the sole creator for all their videos/work, they animate all their videos along with producing the music. All the characters and stories depicted in their videos are their own. It’s really incredible storytelling. You can learn more about their OCs here on their site.

IESIAS

Here’s IESIAS!!!!! I feel like this animation paired with the song injected dopamine straight into my veins. It’s just SOOOO COOL… The way that the animation is timed with the music, the hypnotic and kind of psychedelic trippy effects, the bold colors… so so so cool. I was obsessed with this video last March and still am. It also reminds me a bit of indie horror games–not exactly PS1 graphics aesthetic but almost? If you keep up with indie horror game releases you know what I mean.

Man rewatching this video right now, it still gives me chills. IT’S JUST SO SICK!!!!!!! Goddamn!!! If you want to buy this track to support bakui, you can check out their bandcamp!

THINGS SO FAR

THINGS SO FAR is actually my favorite song from bakui, though only barely… Personally I like the piano ver. of it even more, but both versions are amazing. This one has more of a nostalgic, wistful, and tragic element to it compared to IESIAS’s fast-paced energy. Listening to THINGS SO FAR makes me feel like I’m entering a dreamlike environment in a retro video game… Anyways here’s the piano ver. on Spotify:

Aiobahn

Aiobahn isn’t a new artist for me since I discovered him in 2019, but I haven’t been connecting to his recent work as much… until I found Needy Streamer Overload! I didn’t even realize he was the producer for the OST until after I watched ManlyBadassHero’s lp of it… It sounds really different from his usual style but it’s soooo so good. My fav tracks from the game:

Desire for Approval

Sounds like normal peppy 8-bit at first… but then if you wait a bit, you get hit with that massive SICK beat drop. Like holy shit the beat drop goes so hard 😭 Head-banging… I can’t believe this was hidden in the innocuous cute menu theme…If you were too quick to start or load the game you would miss out entirely on the best part of the song

No Salvation, No Angels

Ok this one isn’t actually EDM but I’m grouping it here because it’s part of the same OST… it’s such a melancholic/resigned piano piece. It’s probably my favorite in the ost after Desire For Approval…

Mawaru Kagami (Mirror Ball) - Perfume

Yeah ok Perfume isn’t niche but I need to include Mawaru Kagami here… I haven’t fiercely loved a Perfume song in so long but when I heard Mawaru Kagami for the first time I was awestruck ;__; It reminds me of the first time I listened to Spending All My Time in 2013 and Tokyo Girl in 2017… I felt like Nakata kinda fell off ever since Future Pop era (with some exceptions like Let Me Know and Saisei) but DAMN he redeemed himself solely with this song. Mawaru Kagami’s synths and atmosphere feel very reminiscent of older Perfume, while still having some of their more recent sound. I sent this to my coworker who likes old Perfume discog (like Game and Triangle) and she approved of it lol.

New Genesis - Ado (prod. Yasutaka Nakata)

The first time I listened to New Genesis I somehow wasn’t that taken with it… fast forward like a month, I overheard it at AX at the One Piece booth, and it got stuck in my head… now I wholeheartedly love it T_T The prechorus builds up so much momentum and then the chorus really blows it out of the water… The synths are so good and really pulse and strike at you… and of course Ado’s voice is insane in this. I personally like Ado singing more melodic poppy stuff like this than her other releases so this is very up my alley :> And this lines up with my sentiment of Nakata really upping his game in 2022 LOL

manimani - r-906

THE BASS IN THIS GOES SOOOOOO HARD. I love the flourishes of traditional instruments throughout the song too. This is a Miku song but it’s largely just a sick instrumental song. Despite that, the vocal/melodic parts that are sprinkled throughout the song still shine on their own too.

nightshift - Kurubukko

This is a very ambient bgm song… it’s very calming and nice to have on in the background when you’re working or focusing on stuff I think. Calming repetition and all.

Never Alone - Yuta Imai

YEAHHHH HARDSTYLE EDM this song goes so hard. I really like listening to it while I’m driving or working…

Scared - SABAI

Honestly this is a pretty basic edm song but the house beat with the vocal chops drop is muah 👩‍🍳💋

Heartbreak Anthem - Galantis, David Guetta, & Little Mix

I usually listen to the local LGBTQ radio station if I don’t use my phone’s bluetooth when I’m driving, since I like house/club music. And this one caught my attention! I don’t typically listen to any of these artists but I do appreciate David Guetta’s house stuff from time to time… This song is just very satisfying and Little Mix sounds great here. (I don’t listen to them usually idk what they sound like in other songs lol)

K-Indie

My Ceiling Disappeared - Stella Jang

I call myself Stella Jang fan but I feel kinda 🙈 that I didn’t find this song until 2022… It’s so quaint and relaxing. Lovely little song…

Yeah - TRPP

Yeahhhhhh shoegaze!!! I dunno if I can consider myself into shoegaze officially just yet but I really love Yeah by TRPP. The repeating “Yeah, yeah, yeah” is mesmerizing. The only thing I dislike is how short this song is and how abruptly it ends :(

Retro (City Pop, 80’s Synthpop, etc.)

I listen to a lot of retro-inspired music (this will come as no surprise to anyone who knows my music taste) so I’m just piling them in this section lol even if they also count as K-Indie

Drive - Kim Areum

HELLLLLLOOOO THAT INTRO the sparkling sounds, the bits of synths, bits of house, THE SAXOPHONE? Oh my goodness. Those first 30 seconds sold me already. Kim Areum’s voice is also really pleasant and perfectly complements the city pop vibe of this song. This song is magical and great for night drives.

Waves - Glen Check

Oh my goooooooooodddddddddddd when this song came on when I was listening to Glen Check’s new album I think my eyes widened… it makes me feel so nostalgic. The instrumental that kicks in at 1:08 is 😭😭😭😭😭😇🙏🙏🙏🤲 BLISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to listen to this while driving down the coast with the windows open….

Modern Romance - Satellite Young

It’s hard to believe this song released in 2017 because it sounds exactly like a 1980s song with a dash of city pop… Seriously such a good, catchy song.

Suraqtar - Ninety One

Even though Ninety One released a house/retro track in 2021 (Darn), I didn’t actually expect them to follow up with a full blown 80s synthpop song????!! I was so surprised hearing this for the first time. IT’S SO CATCHY and satisfying, I definitely looped this a ton the month it came out…

LMLY - Jackson Wang

Such a good 80’s song… I don’t really listen to Jackson’s stuff but I think his smooth kinda restrained sounding voice works well for the sentiment of this song.

Strip - w-inds.

I don’t listen to a lot of male Jpop groups so Strip was a really pleasant surprise, I feel like the groovy funky sound isn’t suuuuuper popular with boy bands in Japan? I guess these guys have a leg up since they’re older and in their late 30s LOL. The chorus in this is sooooo groovy it’s so good T_T

Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order

Hahahaha you weren’t expecting an actual 80’s song here were you. I also heard this on the LGBTQ radio station and thought, “Wow this slaps”. It’s so groovy…

Mayonaka no Door - Miki Matsubara

Another genuine 80s song :~) I think Mayonaka no Door may actually be better than Plastic Love, but both songs are wonderful… I just love how she sings this song. Stay with meeeeee~~

J-Music

Uhhhhh. I guess these are Jpop but not quite? 🤷‍♀️

Violet - NORTH

I really really like this song!!!! I love the infectious guitar that continues throughout the song and the chorus feels so refreshing… The bridge and last chorus are both so satisfying too.

Make a wish - color-code

Peaceful comforting song 🥹 it really makes me feel hopeful!!!

INU-HIME - Queen Bee

I actually didn’t click with this song on first listen, I remember watching the mv excitedly because Kenjiro Tsuda is in it ALKJASDFJKSLDJF but I heard it again recently and was really taken with it… I love traditional-inspired music and woooow Queen Bee knocked this one out of the park. It’s both catchy and mesmerizing… I LOVE THE VOCAL EFFECTS DURING THE PRECHORUS, that segment is so hypnotizing.

花時雨 - Qyoto

This song feels so nostalgic like a 2000s anime song LOL. I’m genuinely surprised it was released in 2019 because it sounds like a 2007 anime ending slkdfjdslkfj… it’s peaceful.

I love you in anyway - Takayan

Pretty much any Takayan song is guaranteed to be good but this one really caught my attention… I just really like it T u T the prechorus and chorus are powerful, catchy, and satisfying… Um also crying I haven’t actually seen the video for this until now alkjaskdjf I didn’t realize he dressed up to sing along to it (even though I know this is his shtick). King shit

Simple - BBHF

Like its namesake, this song keeps it simple and great. Two of the members are from Galileo Galilei and I think you can hear it… the relaxing guitar…

[hollywoodx4]

Sticking With the Schuylers (2:2)

Hi! I’m here! I’m starting one million things soon and my life is about to be utter chaos but I’m trying really hard not to let this story die-I have always had a bad habit of abandoning too soon. 

I saw Hamilton over the weekend (finally. I worked my ass off for those damn tickets.) and I felt so much personal inspiration. But I also felt so much for this story-these characters-their portrayal and where they could go. There so much more to be said here, that’s why there’s a book 2! 

If you’d like to be put onto the tag list for this book, let me know. Until then, here’s another piece of this very, very long love letter to Eliza Schuyler.

1  2  3  4   5   6   7   8   9   10   1112   I  13  14   15   16   17   18A  18B   18C I19   20   21   22   23   24   25  26   27  28   29   I  30  31  32 33 34  35 36  3738  39 40  41  42 I 43  44  B 45 46  47 48 49  50 ---------- 2:1

Happiness looks impossible without you here.

Through the glass, the chill and the snow and the impassable fog of white

Through the storm, you are here.

I am here. We are here.

There has never been a lovelier word than us when it hops into the air from your lips, dripping sweetness, gold as hard-sought honey I selfishly store for storm filled days.

It is a sweetness I will never grow accustomed to.

In your eyes, I am enough.

I have never been enough before.

To sweet kisses and small smiles; to the harmony of your voice reaching my eager ears, healing.

To you, my Eliza.

                 Alexander likes to write her letters. Sometimes they’re short, a stick-figure representation of himself with a smile bigger than his face, a few choice words like good luck or miss you or love you. He writes down things he sees throughout his day, keeps them in his pocket in a list he brandishes the next time they’re able to talk. There isn’t much organization to the way he pens his scatter-thoughts onto paper for her, only in that it has become a custom for him to do such a thing. Sometimes the words come on napkins, slightly crinkled with a stain on a corner, circled with a sorry written over artfully formed espresso droplets. (She finds them artful, almost provocative with some of the words that trace their outline. Her friends find her collection of napkins and cut-outs from coffee cups to be a bit much. She doesn’t care.)

The best letters are the ones Eliza finds later than intended, another habit Alexander has grown accustomed to. Instead of giving her each of his thoughts at one time he hides them, stuffs them in drawers or shoes or the pockets of her jackets when he thinks she won’t notice. He doesn’t need her immediate feedback-or any feedback at all, really-but he receives it with a smile and a boost to his own morale. She’ll call, or text, to let him know that she’s found one.

               “It’s number 104, on the back of a gum wrapper in that big tan bag I bring to class all the time. I almost threw it away, Alex. What would I have done without being able to see a word like temptress written in your handwriting?”

               He numbers the letters, starting with the back of a takeout menu on the night they’d first met. They grow from 1 to 10 to 100 as rapidly as his feelings progress; alarming and sudden, and with the rushing of thoughts he can’t keep to himself. He doesn’t know that she’s keeping them until 150. He’s in the room when she finds it, wedged between the pages of her well-worn copy of Pride and Prejudice. She reads through the shorter phrases then, his words fighting their way off of the page to wrap her in protection. She grins, kissing his cheek and moving to her closet.

It’s there, in a powder-blue box hidden behind a stack of jeans, that she puts the folded up literature. He peers over in her direction to find the contents of the box nearly spilling out, gum wrappers and napkins and haphazardly folded sheets of paper gathered in one space. She tucks the wrapper within its mess and sneaks the box back to its original place, and when she’s turned around again his eyes are wide, struck with amazement.

               “Were those my letters?”

               “All of them, except for the ones I’m sure I haven’t found yet. I’m going to need a bigger box pretty soon.” Her voice lifts, presents itself with air that fills her lungs and lifts her soul, allows her to brandish that smile. It’s that smile that’s produced his thousands of words. It is the perfect, silent instrument; whether it is accompanied by  bell-toned laughter or sleepy yawns, a hand in his hand or her lips on his, it sends beautiful tones of bliss to his once worn-down soul. It’s that smile that produces letters 1 through 150, and it’s that smile that will produce hundreds more.

               She finds letter 160 in the middle of a session; there, in between the neatly placed  layers of books and pens and charcoals within her canvas bag, is a handed-back math test graded in red pen with a 98%, Alexander Hamilton written in his scratched handwriting at the top. At the edge of the numbers and red-inked markings are words for her.

               Happiness looks impossible without you here;

               She smiles to herself, skims the writing and lets his words find their way to her heightened stress. It hasn’t been long since she’d found the last letter, handed over to her between classes earlier in the morning. These things have a way of keeping their meaning, staying sacred in the way that they appear to her by more than just serendipity. His words come to her in the times she needs them, whether their meaning directly ties to her current stressors. Eliza interprets them in fortune-cookie manner, taking his words and stretching them to match what he would say if he was there at the moment she found them.  

Happiness looks impossible without you here;

There are two big potted plants in the corner of Lisa’s office. One sits on the windowsill, overlooking the darkness of the winter nights and the fog that rolls steadily in with continually changing temperatures. There are lush green plumes of aloe, bold and thick, accompanied in a long ceramic planter by two rounded cacti. One is smaller, symmetrical, with spines like peach-fuzz on boys who played hockey for their private school and pretended they didn’t smoke weed in the locker room. The other is larger, a bit grander. It stands perfectly in its place; performing, almost. In the months Eliza had gone over to the window in this room, stood and studied the cacti while feigning thought and killing time, she’d seen the bloom of a sharply hued flower, full and pink. She’d come back the next week to a barren cactus and a lecture about her matching journal.

She hadn’t written much of anything; a few sparse details lined the pages, although she carried the book in her bag consistently. There were things to be written, of course; a barrage of memories often came while speaking to Lisa, or on her way back from a session. Most often they came at night, when Eliza had hung up her video call with Alex and rolled over in bed, sighed the breath of loneliness that had only come with their parting. And then the wall hits.

They come in groupings of two or three, typically; small things, little moments she’d tucked away in the far reaches of memory. They’re dusty, of course, but as the sessions wear on and the healing increases, the recollections are polished.

               From her side of the fog, there is nothing; he is there, but as a presence she remembers with fondness. When she tries to reach out to him her limbs become numb, her mind littered with phantom movements and phrases and calls for help that never quite articulate. As the fog increases it seems to swallow her whole, carrying her bell-toned laughter and waist-flared dresses, her heels and curled hair and sunny optimism. There isn’t much to life within the fog; voices murmur, their words unrecognizable as she struggles to take note of their lectures. Her body aches and groans with each movement, pulsing and throbbing as if to scream, to beg for breaks she gives willingly each time. There is far more sitting within the fog-far more staring and numbing and waiting for the time to change to another day, a better day. In the fog, there aren’t many better days.

               Her journal is clouded in waves of grey paint; it’s the way of communication that lends itself most easily to Eliza, who has not spoken much at all the past few weeks. Each session begins with Lisa’s thumbing through the pages, wordless as its contents are, taking notes-always taking notes-of the greyscale patterning of paints. She attempts to ask, more than once-

“What’s the significance of this…of this murky grey covering all of these pages?” Eliza shrugs.

“Have you written anything yet? Have you remembered?”

She shrugs again, and for a moment the fog dissipates. There are flashes of red- a dark and brilliant merlot spilling through the steam. Her ears begin to ring, sharp and overbearing, taking over each of her senses with boundless amounts of pain. There is no way to decipher one brutal noise over the other; a cacophony, a curse. Her body burns and her head aches with the allowance of the flood, aches until she forces the fog to drive everything back once more. In the fog, there is no communication-but in the fog, there is no pain.

Are hearts meant to endure pain?

She ponders the question often; there is a surprising amount of moments to think throughout the day, even when Eliza has made it a point to keep herself busy. Thoughts can occupy the small, empty space at the forefront of her mind with an alarming colonization. Her spirit is wounded. She can see the expanse of Lisa’s room even when she is away from it, hear the splashing of the fountain or the curated racing of a black-inked pen on a yellow legal pad. She wonders often in these moments what kinds of things could be written on these lines, especially when she is barely able to complete a coherent thought for herself. What kinds of things could this stranger be inferring about her silence, her struggle?

Eliza finds silence to be her best company; if she does not speak about the pictures that resurface from the corner of her mind, there is a stubborn sort of hope that in time, they will be erased. If she does not permanently pen the thoughts to paper, or paint them as a master making careful copies, the pain will vanish as it is forgotten. It works, for a while. Eliza lets the fog roll forward as she pours her soul into her work, hard-headed and determined. For a moment in time she is unwavering, a week of compliments and successes, passed back projects that echo the success of forgetting.

Even this does not last long. The first week of February brings Lisa’s new assignments;

“Sit down in the silence. Sit, and think. Let yourself feel. Write it down.”

She nods. She tries. There is one night, straight after Lisa’s request, where Eliza attempts to recall everything she’d pushed aside. She carves out the time-it isn’t hard to come by now that she has to live alone. Setting out the barely altered canvas of the journal she had been given, Eliza stares at its pages with tear-brimmed eyes. The night’s session had been spent in a similar manner, Lisa guiding her through an exhausting meditation process, Eliza talking through a sharpening recollection of a night just a year before.

               There were words, slanderous and fierce, spilling from his drunken lips with the last few droplets of vodka he’d yet to consume. She can barely hear them over the searing strength of physical pain; a row of fingerprints already reddened on both arms, a raised line of red along the left side of her shoulder. The echo of bone against wood fills the apartment, but the chilling sound is only momentary. He muffles her cries with a hand over her mouth. She lets her ideals of romance consume her thoughts, taking over in silent cries wondering why this moment doesn’t feel as ‘right’ or ‘whole’ as what she’d been taught to believe.

“Shut up! You wouldn’t have been playing games with me if this isn’t what you wanted.”

Words fly from his mouth like weapons, hitting her harder than the physical wounds as they consume her naivety; maybe there is truth within him. Maybe she had been teasing him. Maybe she deserves it. She lets him take over. She closes her eyes and prays.

There’s a song Eliza’s mother used to sing to them each night, all three girls tucked up to their chins in Angelica’s full-sized bed after story time. They’d be a mass of tangled limbs and hair falling into each other’s faces, three girls whose mother whispered words like ‘sweetheart’ and ‘honey’ and brushed her hand over each of their rosy cheeks. It was some sort of catholic hymn, something sweet and slow. It talked of miracles and love and a happiness that has finally been found. Her mother used to tell her girls that she was “generously blessed with all the right things” before tucking them all in, side-by-side, a sisterhood crafted by fate rather than biology. They’d snuggle close, all three sisters, because even as children they understood the comfort of each other’s company. Eliza would find herself between Peggy and the wall, listening to their mother’s docile voice with drooping eyelids and a blissful soul, falling asleep far earlier than her sisters. She’d fight to stay up for the hymn, however, even when her tiny body ached from the playground playing, picture coloring tasks of the day. She’d always wait until the last resounding “all my love” to let her eyes shut and her body curl into Peggy’s.

The night she began to remember the things she’d shut out, her mother’s song flew into her head. Eliza disguised her tears just long enough to call her, to ask her to sing the song one more time. Catherine, taken back by the sudden request and the time of night, only let the confusion last for a heartbeat. She sighed into the song as if she were meant to sing it-it’s her song, she has taken command of it by the way it has engrained itself into her daughters’ memories. For a moment, Eliza is just a child tucked up to her chin in blankets, soothed by the breathing of her sisters and her mother’s forehead kisses. For a moment, she’d forgotten the way she’d closed her eyes to that song just a year before, with James’s weight over her body and resignation in her soul.

She’d forgotten.

Pain had been an abstract feeling until it became her normality. Each day became a choice; do I walk the line of a fog-filled existence, or do I let my bare feet touch the hot coals to get to the other side? For a while the coals had been enticing; the reddened embers underneath hadn’t seemed like much, and the promise of a brighter future felt closer and more attainable. But after the first night, after the entrapment of vivid memories and calling her mother, Eliza chose to escape into the fog.

Sometimes, Lisa asks her about Alex. Eliza begins to notice this early on, intuitive and curious about her current standings as if this were a classroom instead of a place of healing. She answers, recounting calls in the middle of the night when he couldn’t settle on a phrase for his writing, or the voice he would use when ordering takeout over the phone. Eliza recognizes the use of these questions, the way Lisa herself seems to sit back a bit when she asks them. The room expands a bit during these moments, broadening and brightening and making room for her to breathe. It’s lighter when she’s able to pull out her letters, share what she has chosen as she recites his words through widening grins.

“The letters make my day. It’s incredible-I can be coming home from class, hanging up my coat and there’s one in my pocket. The other day, there was one in the fridge with the eggs. Even today, with this one falling out of my bag…he knows when I’m down, and he’s always the first one there to help me back up. And he doesn’t do it for recognition, or for his own benefit.” It helps her breathe just thinking about her tucked-away moments of happiness, the way they brighten and lift and pull her away from everything for a bit. She settles back on the couch, holds the old math test in both hands as precious cargo as Lisa allows her a moment of reflection. When she looks up the air hangs a bit heavier, almost unnoticeable except for Lisa’s near silent sigh, not so well hidden from Eliza’s skills of perception. She’s tempted to ask what might be bothering her therapist but stops herself. There is still a bubble of safety. This zone of comfort is an enjoyable break from the unavoidable.

“What does Alex think about your separation?”

A question that knocks her from her sanctuary; his name has not yet been wrapped around bad feelings, and her intention to keep him from the association with words like hurt or sad has been slowly slipping from her grasp from the moment she’d met him. She shrugs at first, folding and unfolding the latest letter in busied fingers. Eliza watches each intricate crease of the paper come together seamlessly, then fall back apart with her own actions. It feels unfair.

“He’s…dealing with it. We’re working through it.”

“Do you talk about it often with him?” Eliza, unwilling to let the initial desire to hide  away upon the swell of emotions running relays through her torso, hums as she waits to formulate her response.

“I really believe in communication. Honesty is the one thing I’ve always tried to have…”

“…but?”

“But there are things I hesitate with. Like, when our appointment is over and I call him and he asks how everything went…sometimes, I don’t know what to say.”

“What do you want to say?”

“That’s just it, I don’t know. Sometimes I want to tell him everything, if I feel okay and I learned something new, or if you’ve told me that something might help us as a couple.” Eliza takes a pause, training her eyes on the flowerless cactus on Lisa’s windowsill. The hum of the cheap electric fountain has become a permanent installation to her own breathing pattern, it seems, and she rides with the feeling as she sorts herself out. “Sometimes, I don’t want to say anything at all. Honestly, there have been days where I’ve left here feeling ten times worse than when I came, and I just want to go home and process it all on my own.”

“And do you?”

“Usually, but I just-I feel so bad. I don’t want to drag him down, but I also don’t want to leave him in the dark. It’s the communication, I just…I end up feeling like I’m keeping secrets from him.”

Lisa nods. She jots a few things down, Eliza envisioning the connection of lines and patterns that indicate an answer, some kind of sign. Still shaking over the earlier memories, it is a welcomed moment of reprieve to sit and watch her therapist work. It’s the way she brings it back to James that makes her so brilliant, so compatible to Eliza’s past and her mindset. She explains subconscious actions as if they were second nature. It’s not you, it was him. You’re not a bad person if you don’t share, you’re human. Alexander should understand, if his notes are any indication of how he feels about you. It’s worth a conversation. It’s this validation that carries her through, the thought that her actions have a cause and a purpose. That validation is freeing, and Eliza breathes a sigh of relief just by the nurturing look the crosses over Lisa’s kind eyes.

It’s become a task to leave the office, shrug on her coat and fasten each button, carry herself down to a car she’s called to give her time to sit and process everything. This night is no different; the relief is still there, but is coupled with the heavy exhaustion of remembrance-of the journal in her bag covered in numbing greys and violent flashes of red. It is a mark of her life, the lack of structure and the busy rush of painting, not too much but just enough to relay her feelings without having to write the words that would seal them to paper. It’s a step, toddling and nervous. The wave is still there, rolling along and carrying her mindlessly with it, but her head pokes above the water. Fresh air has never felt more relieving.

“Hey, how was it tonight?”

“It was okay…” Her hesitation leaves a lingering pause on the line between them. The tires of her car roll gently along the pavement, occasionally squishing across piles of slushed snow and mud, browning them and wrecking their perfect, freshly fallen illusion. “I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it-not all of it, anyway.”

“Okay.” It is an immediate answer, one that comes in crisp through the line and tips up the corner of her mouth. “Want me to come over, or would you rather be alone?”

“Can we just talk tonight? Tell me a story?”

When Alex leads in to a tale from his economics class and some crazy feud with an upper-classman, when she leans her head over to feel the cold of the window on her cheek, there is something else that stirs within the roaring wave and the relief of Lisa’s words. She smooths a rosy pink in circular patterns over a fresh page of her journal, letting it build on the edge of her hand. The pigment is fresh, without a dent made on its surface although blacks and greys and reds within the same package have been replaced multiple times. Hope isn’t a feeling she’s been able to manifest on paper, but the look of its warmth within a wash of despair is something to hold on to.

[shemakesmusic-uk]

This segment features artists who have submitted their tracks/videos to She Makes Music. If you would like to be featured here then please send an e-mail to shemakesmusic@hotmail.com. We look forward to hearing from you!

Zoë Zohar

Raised in Israel by a South African mother and Israeli father, Zoë Zohar shares her story and take on life through upbeat melancholic ambience. By incorporating live with electronic instruments, Zohar constantly shifts between raw nostalgic tones and futuristic elements, searching for a new authentic sound. After moving to London at the age of 19, Zohar and her team began working together on her much-anticipated EP of four songs, one of which features her recent release ‘Paper Airplanes’. Through her EP, Zohar tells a story of feeling overwhelmed in a trapped environment. In this song, she portrays a sense of loneliness and feeling on the edge of defeat, only to realise that one may find comfort in this state of mind. Zohar aims to take the viewer on a journey that reveals the conflict of befriending our inner voices and running away from them. Listen below.

Zoë Zohar · Paper Airplanes

RIVITA

Hailing from the colorful escapades of India, Rivita creates electro-acoustic landscapes with her music. After completing an extensive education in music, she is currently based in LA and is focused on writing new music and playing virtual shows. Her latest single ‘Lonely With Someone’ is a story of the consequence of addiction and the unsaid hidden scars that it leaves. The song is a segway from her previous release ‘Someone Else’s Arms’, Rivita states “With this piece of work, I wanted to express the strength an individual really holds. There have been many moments in my life, I have surprised myself with my own strength and while facing some of my biggest fears in tough situations. While growing up I watched someone get lost in the sea of addiction. As I got older, I realized just how common addiction is across the globe and how well it is masked sometimes. It has caused me pain and it felt like I had no right to feel this way because I was not the one with the disease. I wanted to find a way to release my feelings without the consequence of being told to get over it or to stop thinking about it. This is the only way I thought I’d ever be able to fully express myself, through this song”. Listen below.

Rivita · Lonely With Someone

Alicia Lov

Spanish-Canadian artist Alicia Lov took to music at an early age. Music and dance lessons pushed her passion further and led to where she is now. Alicia has a love for lots of different genres including rap/hiphop, alternative, dancehall, latin pop and so much more. Dance is a big part of her inspiration and will continue to be a prime part of her career. Her latest single 'Magnetic' delivers a smooth romantic R&B feeling that makes you want to get cuddled up with that special someone. She explains further, "'Magnetic,' has romantic R&B vibes that were inspired by love between the sheets. Smiling and tracing each other with your fingertips. Love can sometimes just be free and chaotic. Head in the clouds, floating in another dimension." Listen below.

ALICIA LOV · Magnetic

Lyla DiPaul

Lyla DiPaul is an American recording artist based out of New Orleans. DiPaul grew up in Takoma Park, MD where she fell in love with playing guitar and writing songs at the age of 10. She draws musical inspiration from a variety of songwriters including Taylor Swift, Joni Mitchell, and Phoebe Bridgers. DiPaul eloquently relays the feeling of love and heartbreak through her music, and hopes to connect to people through her work. Her latest single is ‘Still Unwell’ and here is what Lyla had to say about the release: ”I wrote ‘Still Unwell’ with my friend MC in the fall of 2019. Simply put, it is a breakup song. We always describe it as being about nostalgia for a relationship. When you miss all the good things and bad things about a person, and just cannot move on. We recorded the bulk of the song in the studio at Loyola University, New Orleans and then ended up finishing up the guitar work and the vocals in my bedroom after things became unsafe due to the pandemic.” Listen below.

Lyla DiPaul · Still Unwell

Mango In Euphoria

Starting her project in London after being employed in Florida and travelling through the United States, French-born alternative artist and songwriter Mango In Euphoria quickly found her audience when she dropped her first experimental work at the end of 2020. The singer is an emerging talent noticeable by her quirky style and her mysterious signature voice, matching her very own unique musical tracks mixing Electronic Rock, Dream Pop and Dark-wave genres. Creating melodies coming from her mind with virtual instruments and recording with a very basic microphone during the global Coronavirus pandemic, Mango In Euphoria also began to work remotely with Belgian producer Philippe Francq who helped her in developing a lot of demos with physical instruments inspired from vintage influences such as the Twin Peaks series soundtracks, The Cure, and Garbage. As Mango was mainly musically influenced by Grimes and Lana Del Rey, there's no doubt that the result would be quiet outstanding. Her new song ‘Golden Shrine’ is about celebrating who you are as a unique person, embracing this uniqueness “and also about someone who started to copy everything I was doing when everything was coming from my creativity so instead of getting more pissed off I created a song about it!” she laughs. Listen below.

MangoInEuphoria · Mango In Euphoria - Golden Shrine

Shannon

East London singer-songwriter, Shannon is an indie-pop artist that brings soulful tones through her vocals. Her music shares stories and experiences through heartfelt lyrics and production driven by acoustic guitar. Her latest single ‘But He's There’ is an upbeat track about the complications of falling for a close friend. The lyrics reveal inner thoughts of uncertainty about stepping out of one's comfort zone to fulfil an exciting idea of love. As the song builds, the story unfolds and reflects the fantasy for a closer relationship. Shannon's high notes introduce an unexpected direction to the vocal line that mirrors the feeling of being caught unaware by your thoughts and feelings. Whilst picturing the production for this song, some influential tracks from the 90's came to mind from artists such as Corinne Bailey Rae, Lauryn Hill and Natasha Bedingfield. The laid-back drums and organ keys give off a chilled vibe, almost as if the song acts as a passing thought during a relaxed Sunday morning. Listen below.

officialshannonuk · But He's There

Heff VanSaint

East London-based alternative pop artist, Heff VanSaint has released her debut track ‘Nothing Lasts Forever’. The former one half of synth-pop duo Miracles has gone back to her roots with a song that fuses old-school storytelling, with a contemporary lo-fi indie sound. ‘Nothing Lasts Forever’ is a tale of lost friendship, at a time of carefree hedonism. It’s a bruised, melancholic song tinged with sadness. Lyrically sublime, its evocative lines hit deep and leave the listener experiencing a sentimental yearning long after its over. Listen below.

Nille Nyc

Following up on the release of her debut EP PowerPainPillsPercussion, Danish electro pop artist Nille Nyc has just released new single ‘Someone Else’, her first of 2021, as a per cursor to her upcoming full-length album. Let’s face it, we’ve all been there: a relationship that seems to constantly be teetering on the edge of the abyss, until one day when it finally implodes. Afterwards, all that we can do is pick up the pieces and move on. ‘Someone Else’ is a story about looking back at the aftermath of a bad relationship from the safety of a better place. With a playful guitar, heavy R&B beat and edgy vocals, ‘Someone Else’ opens a new chapter in Nille Nyc’s musical journey. “Throughout our lifetime we experience relationships which challenge our core values as human beings, both professionally and personally. Every relationship needs to grow and mature; to look to the future while keeping the lessons of the past in mind. The same holds true for music. Every musician needs to keep innovating and experimenting. They need to take risks and challenge themselves by exploring new ideas and new ways of expressing themselves. If they don’t, then they run the risk of becoming static and their music will suffer for it”, Nille Nyc says. Listen below.

Nille Nyc · Someone Else

Natasha Ghosh

Natasha Ghosh originated as a professional Dutch-Indian fingerstyle ukulele player, but nowadays she also focuses on singing and releases her own music. Natasha's main styles are R&B, indie electronic, lo-fi, and hip-hop. Her new single ‘Paradise’ is a deep and emotional vocal-led lo-fi track with a relaxed sense of beauty. It's a personal song about romantic escapism between lovers. Lush synthesizer melodies, emotional vocals, and dynamic, but the chill drums make this track a perfect fit for study, Lo-fi, chill, and dreamy playlists. This is a song that Natasha wrote with her girlfriend in mind. "I believe that it's important to show the people you love what they're worth to you. In an ever-changing society where all kinds of stuff are happening around the globe, it's good to focus on the good things.” The track was a COVID-19 project, made in collaboration with the famous lo-fi artist Kid Kio from home studios. Listen below.

Natasha Ghosh Music · Natasha Ghosh (feat. Kid Kio)- Paradise

Olivia Void

Berlin based experimental artist Olivia Void uses her highly recognizable voice and songwriting style to introduce us to her unusual sonic cosmos. Her debut ‘Made for You’ was published in October 2020. After collaborating with members of the local and international electro and folk scenes in the meantime, she now prepares for the release of her debut EP PHYSICAL later this year. Unpredictable and captivating, Olivia Void’s new single ‘Glory to Glory’ is a hommage to our physical selves. Led by the Berlin singer‘s characteristic voice and electric guitar play, we get carried away high and low until we want to join in the glory. Talking about the powers of the self-reigned body, the song‘s unique structure creates a whirl that drags you in. As more and more layers are added or taken away we find ourselves in a state of vibrant emotion. Listen below.

Olivia Void · Olivia Void - Glory to Glory

[ask-joeydrewstudios]

#BendyHTtakeover Recap

((so I’m gonna compile all the Good Shit from the #BendyHTtakeover event into one post okay here we goooo))

Sammy has been writing music for most of his life, "from a young age [...] tunes would pop into my head, [writing music] was the only logical step. ;)"

“Willow Weep For Me” is Sammy’s favorite song, he apparently considers it modern. what time period does this game take place in jfc

Sammy made a handful of puns during the event. Puns are great.

Apparently he liked Bacon Soup at one time, but “it kind of lost its luster after a bit.. But you’d have to be crazy to not love chocolate cake!”

Putting on pants is apparently a struggle for him.

Someone asked if Norman was behind the organ from chapter 2. He responded with “The organ... I don’t know what you mean. Although Norman, our projectionist, he was always very bright..” which might be a hint to something, a compliment, or another pun - who knows.

An ad for a Little Mermaid bedspread got posted in the middle of the event, probably on accident. Someone joked “Sammy’s favorite Disney Princess is Ariel, confirmed.” All he had to say was something was amiss with the post, and the bed looked comfortable.

Sammy still writes and sings music when he’s not praising Bendy, and has written “so many dozens of songs! So many! When you’ve been in this business as long as I have... you’re quite busy.” He also said “Perhaps you shall hear them someday.” pls

His clearest memory of the studio besides the ink pump is “a whistling sound, a vague melody.. with a sinister purpose.”

When asked for advice on composing music, he responded “Music is all about layers. Rich and lush. Practice, my friend. That’s what it’s all about!”

Wally’s catchphrase is apparently contagious. Someone asked “Sammy, what would happen if Wally lost his keys again?” To which he responded, “That Wally! That man can’t ever keep his things in order! If I didn’t know better I’d say his mind was wayyyyy out of here!”

Headcanon confirmed, “Sheep Songs” is Sammy’s favorite song he wrote for the Bendy cartoons.

He wears the mask to “resemble the most perfect form I know!”.

He might not be able to see without the mask as well, someone later asked “how do you see with that mask?” and he replied “how do you see without yours?”. Might have just been a joke, or confirming the “ink monsters can see through Bendy’s eyes in cutouts and posters” theory.

Sammy thinks Susie is “A charming woman.. quite... charming.. I recall only her face... that.. smile.”

He took some selfies for us.

Someone asked how he felt after what happened to him at the end of chapter 2. “I can’t recall any injustice on the part of the Ink Demon. He is.. most fair.” Apparently he’s fine with being pancake’d.

“Who’s better? Bendy, Alice, or Boris?” “There is only our lord Bendy.”

What makes Bendy so worshipable is that “[He] knows all and sees all. He is the hope we’ve been waiting for!”

"The last I can recall... I had a flowing cascade of brown hair.. I miss it so... or was it blonde? No matter.. it was splendid.”

He regrets never going to Coney Island.

Someone asked what he thinks of Alice “Ohhh such a voice! So.. heavenly! So beautiful!” Tied with his earlier comment about Susie, this makes Samsie shippers such as myself rejoice.

He is honored that people write songs about him, and Bendy.

He doesn’t only make puns, he memes. According to him, “if you have the proper training, mayonnaise IS an instrument.”

His favorite instrument is the banjo, he was always fond of it and it “plucks the right chord with me”

He thinks bacon soup can be good, “it’s best when aged for a while I hear.”

He’s happy Joey let him name the song “Sammy Jam” after himself.

Someone asked if he had a special someone before becoming an ink monster. His answer was a flustered “Someone.. special? ... I.. well.. there was.. this one. I almost remember.”

He doesn’t quite know where Joey is, but he thinks he’s off raising his salary somewhere.

He doodles Bendy sometimes.

[merriammusicinc]

Kawai ES8 Digital Piano Review & Demo - RHIII Action, Harmonic Imaging, USB Audio

Introduction

The ES8 from Kawai, first introduced in 2016 and re-released in late 2019 with some minor engineering improvements, is one of the most well-liked digital pianos on the market today. It's popularity stems from the RHIII action with triple sensor and let-off simulation, the unique and highly efficient onboard speaker systems, its extremely attractive gloss black finish and available designer stand, the onboard accompaniment styles, and world-class piano tone generator onboard.

It's a digital piano that's extraordinarily well equipped for any musical occasion, whether on stage, in your home, or in studio.

We hope you enjoy this video review and accompanying article by Stu Harrison of Merriam Pianos.

Kawai ES8 Portable Digital Piano Review Video Transcription

Hi everybody and welcome to another digital piano review. My name is Stu Harrison, we're here at Merriam Pianos and today we are taking a look at the Kawai ES8 digital piano. We're gonna be covering everything on this instrument, talking about its action, talking about the sound, and all of this beautiful luscious tone that we get out of this instrument, and of course discussing and reviewing all the features that you get with the ES8. If it's the first time to the channel we'd really appreciate it if you subscribe. We love the support and of course, we like to keep you up to date with all things piano. So let's get started right away and dive into the Kawai ES8 portable digital piano.

Sounds and Tone Generator

Hey everybody, so let's get into the sound of the Kawai ES8 digital piano. This instrument is loaded up with Kawai's Harmonic Imaging XL technology. That sounds very fancy. What does it actually mean? Well, this is about the 5th or 6th generation of Harmonic Imaging chipsets or, you know, algorithmic updates or enhancements that Kawai has come out with since their Harmonic Imaging technology hit. And I think the mid-2000s is when this really first came about. So they've been working on this for a while. And the ES8 was one of the first instruments to receive that chipset as well as the updated Shigeru Kawai SK-EX concert grand sample set. So this was a big leap forward in terms of sound technology when the ES first came out and quite frankly the ES8 is still standing up to even the most stiff competition from Roland and Kawai - and that partially is owing to the fact that we have 88-note piano sampling, a rather unusual feature for a stage piano. We actually have also just done a Roland FP-90 versus a Kawai ES8. You can hear the direct comparison there. You'd be surprised even a few years after this ES8 has been out of the market how well it continues to stand up to the competition in terms of the realism of the sound, in terms of how complex that tone is. It's equipped with a 256-note polyphony capability or potential which for acoustic piano playing you're really never gonna run out or max out 256. Even with a basic accompaniment track that's running through sort of a MIDI triggered accompaniment track it's gonna be very difficult to run out 256. So you got plenty of polyphony and you've got this lovely SK-EX sample set.

It's a very dynamic sound, and that's one of the first things you notice when you're playing it, is when you're really down in the lower volume ranges it's this dark, very luscious sound. But the minute you start to build some volume... you start to get all of these upper partials out of it, it brightness the sound up. Now, this is something that happens to an extent with almost all really good high-quality digital pianos, but I notice it more on this than most. This dynamic nature of the tone. This has a few dozen sounds on it. It's not an instrument that comes with like these 300 or 400 sounds that you might be looking at or, you know, researching with something like the Roland FP-90. The number of tones is quite low but the quality of each of the tones is really quite exceptional. There's only a few patches on here where I would go, that's, you know, a bit of a poor effort. But for the most part, you're looking at sounds which are really lush, very, very believable. Wow, that's got such a nice broadness to it. That's the EX concert grand sample we were just listening to right there. Jazz piano, warm grand, pop grand, it's nice. SK5. Oh, that's gorgeous. Not quite the same overtone complexity that you get out of the full SK, but still quite lovely.

The other instrument sounds beside the acoustic piano options are well done and very believable. Specifically, the electric piano sounds on here I love. They're thick, they're very warm. The phaser, chorus and tremolo effect, accessible through the effects and amp simulator on here is quite believable, to be honest, and the reverb engine is also very well executed. It also includes rotary speaker for drawbar organ patches, and guitar/keyboard amp simulations

Then you've got harpsichords, and mallet strings, choirs, and a couple of bass tones on there as well. It's also very easy to match two sounds together in a layered blend. You just press and hold the two categories you want, you get there. It's also easy to split the keyboard into two so you get one sound down here and one sound up there, and the four hands mode which is great for teaching or duets.

Speaker System

Driving all of this is this beautiful onboard speaker system. Now, on paper, this is not that powerful. I think it's 30 watts in total, 15 watts aside. That used to be considered pretty beefy. These days when you've got like an FP-90 coming out with 60 watts you'd think, okay, the ES8 might now start to feel underpowered compared to what other companies are putting out there. This is really not the case. And I think it owes to the fact that Kawai has designed the speaker boxes in here to be really super efficient. And we've got like air inlets on the bottom of the machine. You can sort of see them, it almost looks like it's kind of a subwoofery looking air inlet. I don't know speakers that well, but I know that that looks fancy when you look at it from the bottom of the ES8. So the speaker boxes are designed sort of as self-contained units and it's got two two-way speakers in there and then these sort of air ports on the bottom. I don't know how that contributes to the sound, but what I can tell you is that for 30 watts this thing generates a ton of sound, enough that if you're in a small or even a medium room and you're playing for yourself you do not under any circumstance need an extra amplifier or to plug it in to a stereo to reinforce the tone. We've got plenty here. Yeah. Anyway, so that rounds out our discussion on sound for the ES8.

RHIII Hammer Action

The action on the ES8 is what they call their RH3 action or Responsive Hammer III keyboard action. It is fashioned after similar plastic counterweight actions that are graded heavier in the bass and lighter in the treble. This is an action which they have installed in a number of their digital pianos. Think you can also find now a modified version of the RH3 from Kawai in Nord's new grand model, which is really cool but not surprising because you are talking about a very satisfying and a very accurate piano action. So it's got all the basics covered. We've got a nice micro-texture on the white key, sort of similar to like a NEOTEX as well as the blacks thanks to Kawai's ivory touch key surface technology. So you've got good grip on there and it also helps to absorb a little bit of extra moisture. It has the escapement in there to add that extra little kind of flip about two-thirds of the way down, a little bit more realism. And it's got the triple sensor. This is a big deal for anybody who is using this for production or recording because when you look at the MIDI output from Kawai's triple sensor system and you compare it to other MIDI outputs it is really accurate. So you're gonna have to do less velocity editing if you're taking a MIDI feed off here for any sort of tracking or recording, which just is gonna save time but it's also more satisfying. It's just it does add to the sensitivity and the realism of the overall piano playing experience. So top points for the action, I would say that this action is designed or is going to feel a little better to people who already have some acoustic piano experience because there is a bit of an intentional sponginess to the bottom of the key bed that simulates what actually does happen on like a real grand piano, which you might not be used to if you're only coming at this with prior digital piano experience. You get used to it very quickly but it can initially give you the feel that it's kind of a heavier or a slightly slower action. It's really not the case, it's just your finger getting used to that extra little cushion at the bottom.

Other Features, Stands, Options

Now let's talk about the remaining features. We've already discussed the fact that it's got a nice selection of sort of fundamental piano patches or tones, your pianos, E-pianos, organ, yada yada. In terms of other functionality on here, Kawai's Virtual Technician allows you to go into the piano sounds and edit various parameters like how much the lid is being simulated open, string resonance, you know, hammer sound, damper resonance, let off sound, you know, key off sound, all those kinds of things. It's really quite interesting and it's fun to get in there and play around and edit them a little bit. Other functions, it's got a basic recorder, you can record USB audio straight into like an MP3 or WAV format with a USB key plugged in. That's handy. But it also has intelligent accompaniment. And what's nice is you can access that very easily without having to get into a menu or hook up like a peripheral device like a tablet or smartphone. So you just press rhythm section right there, it gives you the option of selecting your accompaniment mode. I personally find that one finger mode is actually the most useful if you're gonna be, you know, playing with some more complex harmony because it gives you the most amount of control. And then you've got the option to select through various rhythms and then there's sort of a AB rhythm mode. So I'm just gonna play this really quickly so you can hear it. And then you can flip into the next variation.

So you can have some fun with that as well. This has the USB port so that you can connect this to the computer, and you can also record to USB drive in either MP3 or WAV - high quality audio files straight to USB stick...it's actually pretty handy. It also has discrete audio line out so that you can run this into an amplifier or PA without defeating the local speakers. There's also a dedicated line in (mini stereo jack) that makes it easy to send audio from a portable device through the ES8's speaker system. That's separate from your headphone jacks, of course. And you've got two quarter-inch headphone jacks on either side at the front. That's kind of handy. And the ES8 also comes in two colors (black polish and snow white) and the option for a full furniture stand with a triple pedal system or just the slab as you're seeing now with the single pedal system.

And finally, it has all the basics as well: metronome, transpose, included high-quality sustain pedal (with available triple pedal system and designer stand), auto switching mono out to eliminate any weird phasing effect,

Conclusions

So there you have the Kawai ES8. It's been out for a few years, but an instrument that's still delivering tremendous value and a great musical experience to people out on the market. I recommend this to a wide variety of customers and a wide variety of settings. It's great for people who need an all-in-one portable piano, who are really focused on the piano experience and don't need a huge amount of power like to fill up a large room or they're gonna be tying into a PA. Works really, really well for that. I think this is perfect as well for small spaces, apartment, living condo, living townhouse, living where you have the occasional need to relocate it. Because, yes, you can get digital pianos out there that are, you know, in a similar price range and deliver similar specs or maybe even slightly better but they're in these big bulky cabinets, tough to move around. The ES8 stays portable, it makes it really easy to either change locations or just move it from one room to another. And of course, for people who are thinking about using this in some sort of a production setting even if it's, you know, semi-professional or professional, this action and the triple sensor, the MIDI output on this is good enough to be used in absolutely any pro setting. So lots to like here, hope you've enjoyed the review. Good luck with your shopping, and of course, try and get to a showroom and try one yourself.

Please let us know what you thought in the comments. We'll do our best to respond to every single one. We're here at Merriam Pianos. My name is Stu Harrison, and we'll see you back for more reviews shortly.

The post Kawai ES8 Digital Piano Review & Demo - RHIII Action, Harmonic Imaging, USB Audio first appeared on Merriam Pianos

2359 Bristol Cir #200, Oakville, ON L6H 6P8

merriammusic.com

(905) 829-2020

[theseventhhex]

Kevin Garrett Interview

Kevin Garrett

Kevin Garrett twists up soulful tradition with singer-songwriter spirit, lush instrumentation, and alternative adventurousness. The Pittsburgh-born Grammy Award-nominated artist, multi-instrumentalist, and producer echoes the kind of grit meant to be smoothed out only on vinyl and emanates the ambition of a 21st century festival draw on his 2019 full-length debut, ‘Hoax’. His brand of bold and blunt soul unfolds on singles such as ‘In Case I Don't Feel’ and ‘Faith You Might’. Kevin Garrett is perpetually an artist to watch. Introduced to many as a collaborator on Beyonce’s ‘Lemonade’ album, the Pittsburgh native has amassed a solid audience of his own following two EP releases, sold out US and UK headline tours and a strong support history including Mumford & Sons, Alessia Cara, and James Vincent McMorrow. In an industry surrounded by repetition and pressure to change, Kevin Garrett holds true to himself while continuing to evolve the model as an artist and songwriter… We talk to Kevin about having restraint, Frank Ocean and performing on Stephen Colbert…

TSH: With ‘Hoax’, were your intentions once again to get specific emotions and reactions and put them into songs to see if they resonate?

Kevin: The general concept of my songwriting and expressions whatever the message I’m trying to get across all normally falls under the same umbrella. For me, personally, the reason that I write music is for myself. It’s more often than not the only way that I’ve been good at expressing things from my own point of view. I also put it out for everyone else to see if there is anything that resonates.

TSH: Was the notion of you talking to yourself a communication tool that you used to find catharsis in your music making process?

Kevin: Yeah, I mean you just try and get around another corner and then there are a bunch more corners to get around. I just take it one step at a time. My opinions on the turmoil and madness in the world is something that I’ve kept to myself because I’m just an entertainer. The real reason I write is to pull apart a specific set of emotions and I then analyse those emotions and unpack them for my personal realisation.

TSH: What sort of simplicity do you look to imply with your instrumentation?

Kevin: The one thing that I have always sort of lived by is the idea of restraint and the beauty of watching something breathe on its own, rather than trying to fill every void with another sound. This paired with a conscious commitment to making something analogue and very organic created a sort of cinematic landscape for the body of work for this album.

TSH: How rewarding was it to have collaborators on board for this record that were as passionate as you were?

Kevin: It was so gratifying. I had a very eclectic group of musicians that live in the same world as me to help me out. Rob Moose, Buddy Ross and the singers from Third Story were all great. It’s rare to find people like this in the music industry. These days I feel like we’ve fallen to the fleetingness of success and the root of it still has to live in quality over quantity. However, we went into the session with 13 songs and came out with an album that was 13 songs long - nothing got cut. We stuck to what we intended to make all along.

TSH: What sort of incentives and direction did you have in mind as you readied the track ‘Warn’?

Kevin: I wrote that song Mississauga, Ontario with a guy named Frank Dukes. It was written in a very similar way that I wrote ‘Pray You Catch Me’ where it was all lyrics first and then I’d scratch stuff out so it fit the melodies that I would come up with. I guess it was almost like erasure poetry. Also, as soon as I wrote that song in 2016 I knew that it would open the record, especially with the nuance and subtleties that were in the lyrics. In addition to this the structure of song builds really well to the rest of the music.

TSH: Is ‘How Dare We Fall’ one of the songs that you want your listeners to interpret and come at from different angles?

Kevin: Yeah, I actually think it’s the case with the whole record - you can look at it and move in a 360 degree sort of fashion - the listener can look at similar experiences from different lenses. That song for me in particular evokes some feelings of anger and frustration, but it’s up to others how they perceive it. I feel it has a different energy compared to the other songs. It was an opportunity for me to step out of the more perpetually sad box that my others songs are in.

TSH: What sort of qualities of Frank Ocean do you admire mostly?

Kevin: I don’t know Frank personally; I’ve only met him once or twice, but I admire him so much. Whether he’s doing it deliberately or not, with his music there’s a very visible and heavy measure of intention. It seems like he’s very purposeful and deliberate with the decisions that he makes, but somehow he manages to do it effortlessly, which is so cool. His last record took the less is more route - there were not too many drums or production on some songs and that’s something that I am really fond of. He truly is a generational talent, that’s for sure.

TSH: Are you still passionate about how social media is challenging us in a bad way and that it’s filtering out real communication?

Kevin: Yeah, it’s a double edged sword in many ways. I don’t see many pros anymore, it’s mainly just cons. Social media has for better or worse become more than half of my job. I like having the opportunity to communicate with my fans and other artists because some of my touring opportunities have come through direct messages on social media. Nonetheless, the more that we have become bound to our screens, the more it’s sort of just eliminated the element of listening to stuff with real intent. The way that people consume music now and watch things and the narratives that get created via social media even though they are real or not have become this sort of false advertising. The conversation I want to have about social media is less about how it helps me and more about how it’s not really helped anything in general.

TSH: Do you get much time away from being creative with music?

Kevin: Well, lately I’ve just been trying to drown myself in my work. Where I’m at currently in my life means I need more constant distractions. It’s nice to get outside and stuff, but I don’t necessarily like going outside because there are people there, ha! I’ve recently been trying to hone in on what I need in my life and working on just being more creative and burying myself in this type of lifestyle.

TSH: Judging by your Instagram you’re a cool uncle when you find spare time...

Kevin: Ha! Well spotted, and thanks for checking it out. I wish I was an uncle but that’s one of my best mates’ kids and I’m like the fake uncle, haha! When I’m in Brooklyn I try and see them as much as I can. He’s been my barber for six years and we’ve become really close. I hang with them as much as I can. I have two younger sisters, so we’ll see how long it takes before I become an official uncle! In the meantime, I’ll steal others peoples kids to be there uncle, ha!

TSH: What was the experience like in performing on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert recently?

Kevin: I can’t speak for every artist but that kind of stuff is very high pressure. I’m already very sensitive enough as a person; even a twig breaking can tilt things over for me. I remember that day was particularly stressful for several reasons. However, when everyone on my team and Stephen and his team was telling me how great it was, it was enough for me afterwards to take my perfectionist goggles off. There was a moment when they were turning the whole lighting system on in the theatre and it felt surreal because I was introduced to some of my favourite artists and bands watching Letterman in this very same theatre. So to perform there myself was amazing. Also, just being there for Stephen and watching his team work their magic and to see how the show operates in real time was a real honour.

TSH: What’s your main goal as you look ahead?

Kevin: The goal is to resonate with others and to be connective. If I can creatively keep refining my process and my product - regardless of whether the pubic agrees with my output - if I know that I’m happiest with it and it’s the best work that I’ve done so far, then I’m going to be content and pleased. I’ve never really written songs for a prolific output, I’ve always been very intentional with my writing - it’s never looked at like a business for me. Instead, it’s just how I’m getting my thoughts out. Whatever is next for me will be including me cataloguing and organising what’s in my head. I have a lot left to say and hopefully if people keep coming to my shows and keep listening to my music, then you’ll be hearing a lot from me sooner rather than later.

Kevin Garrett - “It Don’t Bother Me At All”

Hoax

[thebandcampdiaries]

Cyri – Paris

A brand new album from an artist with a distinctive creative approach.

Article Summary: Cyri is a hip-hop artist based in Rhode Island. His sound is a direct blend of hip-hop and R&B, with a refreshingly modern twist. Find out more and read on to get an insightful break down of the album tracks!

Cyri has just released “Paris”, a rich and unadulterated rap album. This release is a collection of great songs, each blurring the lines between different influences and exploring different creative outlooks from this amazing artist. There is nothing quite like a rap album that has a truly eclectic edge, and in Cyri’s case, he definitely managed to accomplish a diverse, engaging record.

More importantly, his vocal flow is distinctive and emotional. Some artists aim to solely entertain their audience. Others, on the other hand, are all about

The first song “Reaper” is a multi-layered soundscape with a kaleidoscopic intro. Just when you start immersing yourself in the complex arrangement, Cryi’s raw and edgy vocals cut through the noise. It’s a strong start to “Paris” and the highs just keep on coming.

“Tripping” starts off with a female vocalist and gentle piano notes with a vintage overtone. This is also interspersed with spoken word and pitch-shifted vocal patterns. The vibe of “Tripping” is reminiscent of classic R&B artists such as Frank Ocean and Kendrick Lamar, to mention but a few. This song is definitely one of the catchiest tracks on the whole album, and I really love how the vocal melodies seamlessly blend in with the rest of the track.

“Need U Back” is one of the most impressive songs on the record. It highlights the sophisticated production aesthetic of the entire album. There is also a fat low end in the mix that highlights the artists’ gritty vocal performance. Although this quality production work is always present in “Paris” it shines through on “Need U Back.” This is definitely one of the album tracks that truly pushes the warmth to the next level!

Cyri changes the tone of the album with the track “VHS Interlude.” This is an upbeat and catchy song that has an engaging lyrical composition. This is a dense track, with a lush, textural sound, that’s also quite catchy.

Following up, the artist explores the feelings of anxiety when you believe you’re going to lose the one you love. It’s relevant and universal subject matter makes “Love Song” one of the most enjoyable tracks on the album!

One of the standout songs on “Paris” is “Headspace”. The unique rhythm in this number echoes iconic rap artists such as Mac Miller and Drake. However, Cyri brings a fresh and creative approach to the track by interlaying “Headspace” with a diverse variety of instrumentals and vocal recordings.

“Time” is a deeply cinematic song that is rich with imagery. The repetition of “Let’s just keep on running” in this song will stay in your mind long after the track is over. “Time” has one of the funkiest beats on the record and it clearly evokes a classic R&B sound.

Although it’s a short number, “Left Me” has a distinctive and engaging lyrical flow. At just 28 seconds, it will definitely leave you wanting more. Because of the intensity and time-length of “Left Me,” it ended up being one of the most memorable tunes on “Paris”!

The last song on the album, “Loner”, takes the music in a different direction. There is a distinct emo pop overtone to the song, while Cyri still sticks to his hip-hop roots. It’s an interesting song that blurs the lines between different genres and shows off Cyri's eclectic influences.

Ultimately, what I really love about this release is the style of the production. The sound of this project makes me think of the work of many modern influencers - including XXXTENTACION, Lil Peep, and Mac Miller, only to mention but a few. The sheer combination of melodic textures, soothing atmospheres, and gritty trap-inspired beats is truly astonishing, giving this release a distinctive feel. On top of it all, Cyri’s unique vocal flow is absolutely outstanding. What’s really amazing about his delivery is that it’s so incredibly versatile. His vocals are melodic, yet soaring and energetic, making for a really unique and charismatic flow.

If you are a fan of great hip-hop with a modern twist, do not miss out on this release and keep this artist under your radar!

“Paris” is now available on Spotify, where you can stream the project in its entirety.

https://open.spotify.com/album/5bKMszVr1HwRGH0IJWx6QG?si=39xVNFgeQU6qZijcvCtT5Q

We also had the chance to ask the artist a few questions: keep reading to learn more!

I love how you manage to render your tracks so personal and organic. Does the melody come first, or do you focus on the beat the most?

Answer: The beat comes first because I can’t lay something down if I don’t have a good composition behind me, that I can turn into something special.

Do you perform live? If so, do you feel more comfortable on a stage or within the walls of the recording studio?

Answer: Not currently, no. I want to make shows people remember. I want to make the stages I perform on become living artworks when my songs come on, once I have the proper resources.

If you could only pick one song to make a “first impression” on a new listener, which song would you pick and why?

Answer: It always changes, at the moment I feel “Love Song” would be the best. It's relatable, and it's fun, but at the same time it's true! Who doesn’t want a love like they sing in a love song? Listening to songs like Differences by Ginuwine or a song like Lucid Dreams by Juice Wrld, these songs take that raw love you have for someone and put it into something that others can actually feel and not just bump.

What does it take to be “innovative” in music?

Answer: Take from your surroundings, and acknowledge that you’re transcribing everything into how you make your work. It helps to be like “oh, this is the song that inspired me. Let me try to make a track like that, but go ahead and put my own spin on it” and then you can keep building on that and look at the next song like how can I do better than I did, or how can be better than the person I’m listening to right now.

Any upcoming release or tour your way?

Answer: New songs are in the works.

Anywhere online where curious fans can listen to your music and find out more about you?

Answer: Through the music. Everything about me is within my music. If you sit down and really listen to the songs and the vocalization you can hear there's more to this then just a good song.

[themyskira]

THAT Wonder Woman script, part 1 of what the fuck did I just read

Around 2005, Joss Whedon, who has recently been attached to an upcoming Batgirl movie, was hired to write a Wonder Woman movie that never got off the ground.

In an interview, Whedon described the movie he’d envisioned thusly:

She was a little bit like Angelina Jolie [laughs]. She sort of traveled the world. She was very powerful and very naïve about people ... [a]nd ultimately her romance with Steve was about him getting her to see what it’s like not to be a goddess, what it’s like when you are weak, when you do have all these forces controlling you and there’s nothing you can do about it. That was the sort of central concept of the thing. Him teaching her humanity and her saying, OK, great, but we can still do better.

Some years after the project got canned, a 2006 draft script was leaked, and proved to be every bit as terrible as Whedon described and worse. I skimmed it a few years back, and with all the renewed talk around it in the wake of the Batgirl announcement I foolishly decided to try to actually read it for real.

And oh, do I have some notes. 

We open with the following text:

IN THE TIME OF THE ANCIENT GREEKS, THE MOST POWERFUL WARRIORS ON EARTH WERE THE AMAZON WOMEN. PROUD, MIGHTY AND CUNNING, THEY WERE NEVER DEFEATED IN BATTLE.

LEGEND TELLS THAT ARES, THE GOD OF WAR, GREW JEALOUS OF THEIR POWER AND HAD THEM IMPRISONED, THEIR WRISTS BOUND IN MYSTICAL CHAINS — CHAINS THAT ROBBED THE AMAZONS OF ALL THEIR POWER.

SHAMED AND IMPERILLED, THE AMAZON QUEEN HIPPOLYTE PRAYED TO ATHENA, GODDESS OF WISDOM, FOR DELIVERANCE FROM THEIR SLAVERY.

THE AMAZONS VANISHED FROM THE EARTH.

Okay, so… there are already a few things I’m not a fan of here.

One: right from the outset the Amazons are being defined solely as warriors. All of their qualities are linked to their martial prowess — “proud, mighty and cunning”. The Amazons of Wonder Woman comics have always been powerful warriors, but it’s a skill they’ve cultivated alongside their prowess as scientists, makers, artists and priestesses. I’ve found that when Wonder Woman writers choose to define Amazons as fighters to the exclusion of all other interests, the result is a very militant, xenophobic and primitive people with a distinct whiff of straw feminism.

Two: really, Joss? Of all things, you had to keep the “Wonder Woman loses her powers when her bracelets are chained?” bit?

Three: “the Amazons were the best until things went wrong and they had to pray their way out of it” this origin story is boring as shit.

But enough of the Amazons. It’s time to meet the real hero of the story. The one we’ve all been waiting to see. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for…

EXT. SKY - DAY.

We see the roiling grey fury of a storm — and an old twin engine prop plane roars into frame from above us.

She bucks bravely amidst the wind, rain and crackling flashes of lightning. We can hear her practically shaking apart.

INT. PLANE - CONTINUING.

Inside, the noise is even worse. Boxes of cargo, most with a red cross, shake and pitch with the plane.

The pilot holds the steering column as it bucks. Maybe 30, kind, determined eyes in a workingman’s face.

…LAAAAAAAME DUUUUUUCK!

I’m not being a smartass, that is Steve’s actual call sign, which he uses as he shouts into his radio trying to hail his guys on the ground. He’s getting only static in return.

STEVE This is Lame Duck, I got a force gazillion hurricane in my face! Visibility is zero and my readings are… […] …they’re shot! My instrument panel’s having serious emotional issues; I am lost at sea.

As the storm batters his plane, the voice of a South African bloke called Ben crackles through on the radio to advise Steve that he may be heading towards some bad weather. Ba-dum-tsh.

Steve deadpans at Ben and then the communications cut out with a “scorching pop” and lightning hits the left propeller. Being the hero of this story, Steve “stubbornly” hangs on, but the plane is bucking wildly and there’s no mistaking it— he’s going down.

Then suddenly he’s out of the storm, the rain and the clouds clear and spread out below is a lush, pristine island. Our rugged hero shakes off his bewilderment and manoeuvres the plane towards a river, “the thing most resembling a landing strip”.

It’s a messy landing; the plane skids along the river and slides out of control down a hill before hitting a couple of big trees mere inches ahead of a near-bottomless ravine. Steve’s wrist is broken and one leg is caught under boxes, and as he’s trying to figure out his next move, there’s a thump on the roof.

The door is tugged clean off its hinges. A silhouetted girl stands in the newly-made opening.

CLOSE ON: THE GIRL.

To say she is beautiful is almost to miss the point. She is elemental, as natural and wild as the luminous flora surrounding. Her dark hair waterfalls to her shoulders in soft arcs and curls. Her body is curvaceous, but taut as a drawn bow. She wears burnished metal bracelets on both wrists, wide and intricately detailed. Her shift is of another era; we’d call it ancient Greek. She is barefoot.

BARF. Just go back and compare this to the way Whedon describes Steve — “Maybe 30, kind, determined eyes in a workingman’s face.”

When Whedon introduces Steve, the main thing he seems to want us to take away is that this is a Good Man trying to do right. When he introduces Diana, the actual titular hero of this movie, he just blathers like a hormonal teen about how fucking hot she is, except not just hot because who could use such crass words to describe a woman as spectacular and— and elemental as she?! She is nature itself, friends, wild as the luminous flora! her dark hair a waterfall! the taut curvaceous girl of my manic pixie dreams!

Like. Are you even listening to yourself, Joss?

Anyway, The Girl looks about curiously; apparently she’s never seen anything like a plane before. “It’s hollow…”

She’s wary when she notices Our Hero, who babbles a bit to the tune of ‘hey do you speak English, could you get to a phone and call for help, my leg is pinned’, before The Girl casually pulls the boxes off him one-handed, studies him for a moment and concludes, “You look horrible.”

Not because he’s injured, mind. It’s because of his stubble. She’s thoroughly perplexed by it, since as we know gender is a strict binary and women never have facial hair of any kind especially since obviously Amazons have a strictly 21st century Western concept of female beauty except oh wait.

Then the realisation hits her.

She reaches for his face, touches it. Realisation breaks her face into a wondrous grin.

DIANA You’re a man.

STEVE Wow. No gettin’ anything past you…

But he’s as mesmerised as she, neither of them moving as her fingers sensuously trace his face.

THE ROMANCE. She is captivated by his masculinity, he belittles her, and they are both entranced.

They trade names, the plane lurches ominously over the ravine, and Diana scoops him up and tosses him to safety.  “You feel safer now?” she asks, as he lands hard on the grass.

ANGLE: STEVE has fifteen sharp, gleaming spears in a semicircle around his head.

They are held by fifteen women, armoured and helmeted in the greek style. Backlit enough to be dark and almost inhuman.

STEVE Nnyeaaybe…..

Ha-ha! Champagne comedy!

Also: what’d I tell you? Militant, xenophobic and primitive. How long d’you think before the straw feminism rears its head?

Next scene! Steve is marched into the Amazons city, accompanied by Diana and encircled by a grim company of Amazons. Steve’s hands are bound with rope, the other end of which is held by “the enormous, austere HEPHESTIA, captain of the guard”.

Steve tries to ask if he can use their phone, and Hephestia responses by yanking the rope and sending him sprawling. Diana rushes to help him up, but Hephestia ignores him entirely, admonishing, “It is not to be spoken to.”

YEP HE WENT THERE. WHEDON’S AMAZONS ARE ANGRY IRRATIONAL MAN-HATERS WHO REFER TO MEN AS “IT”.

Hephestia goes on to berate Diana for breaking the “First Law”, telling her that “By all rights your fate should be his” and “You should have killed it.”

Fuck’s. Sake.

Then Steve gets his first sight of the city.

THEMYSCIRA. It’s a vision of a city, nestled in the lush green hills. Greek in many aspects, it has an organic look that is particular to the Amazons — not just straight stone columns.

More than a hundred women are visible, walking, talking, weaving, forging — there is an arena near the bottom with women training at games and swordplay.

Hey, look at that. First indication so far that the Amazons are something other than primitive sword-wielding thugs.

STEVE (continuing; whisper) Where the hell am I?

DIANA This is Themyscira. Home.

STEVE Whose home?

DIANA The Amazons.

STEVE (looking at her) The Amazons are a legend.

DIANA We are? (considers) Good. We should be.

GOOD LORD THIS IS TERRIBLE. And what the fuck is with Diana’s casual arrogance here?

They walk through the city, attracting stares wherever they go. A friend of Diana’s, Aethra, hurries over and falls into step with her. After ascertaining that, yes, this is a fabled man-creature and they are taking him to the Queen, what do you think her first question is?

She falls into step, whispering into Diana’s ear. Diana looks briefly shocked.

AETHRA (continuing) Well, I would’ve. While you can…

SHE ASKS IF DIANA FUCKED HIM.

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE SHIT.

Cut to the Queen’s chamber.

HYPPOLYTE is every inch a queen: noble, beautiful, thoughtful. She is middle-aged, but very much in her prime.

Apparently being attractive is a prerequisite for being a queen now. Also, Whedon has trouble settling on a spelling for her name, as we’ll see.

She is approached by CIRCE. An older woman, Circe is honest and humble, but her eyes pierce well beyond common sight.

(No, it’s not that Circe. I don’t know why Whedon gave her the name of one of Diana’s most prominent rogues.)

CIRCE The Guard returns, my Queen.

HIPPOLYTE Is it what we thought?

CIRCE (nodding) A man.

HIPPOLYTE All this time… and the Gods still mock us. Alive?

CIRCE (nods) Hephestia would have killed him on the spot, but… she was not the first to find him.

This news tightens the corners of Hyppolyte's mouth.

Groan. Yes, Hippolyta, the gods are mocking you by inflicting man on you. That is what’s happening now.

Wait, no, I take that back. Somebody is definitely mocking you right now.

Cut to the throne room. Hippolyta’s on her throne, Steve on his knees before her under Hephestia’s guard. Diana stands by him, and women crowd about the room.

Hippolyta binds Steve with a familiar-looking lasso and interrogates him. The one thing she wants to know: if they fix his plane and help him on his way, will he promise never to speak of the Amazons to anyone? Steve says he won’t, but when Hippolyta presses — what if you were offered money? power? what if you were tortured? — he admits that he could not stay silent if his friends or family were threatened.

Anyway, it doesn’t actually matter because it turns out that Hippolyta was only exploring this line of questioning to demonstrate why there is no solution other than to kill Steve (and I guess so that we could see what a Pure and Heroic Hero Steve is). It’s his life against thousands of Amazons, which is why the First Law says that any man who sets foot on the island has to die, obviously.

At which point Steve gets his self-important on and is like ‘UM EXCUSE ME YOUR MAJESTY but if I don’t get the supplies on my plane to the refugee camp I was headed for, then a fuckton of sick and starving refugees will die, YOU MONSTER.’

Hippolyta considers this, and asks him what he’d say if she could guarantee that the supplies get to their destination — after she murders him. Steve stares at her a moment, then: "Deal.”

So Diana’s like “MOTHER NO!” and Hippolyta is like “MOTHER YES”. Except then for some reason she instructs Circe to take Steve away and feed him and tend to his wounds because I guess she’s too tired to murder him tonight, no need to rush the process.

Then Hippolyta kicks everyone out so she can argue with her daughter.

HIPPOLYTE We came here to escape the tyranny of men.

She holds out her hands as she speaks and Diana places hers begrudgingly in them — Hippolyte turns them palms up as the light glints off Diana’s bracelets.

HIPPOLYTE (continuing) Your wear the symbols of our subjugation but you don’t know what it was like. When these were bound, and we were powerless. The pain, the shame… no Amazon will ever be bound again. […] Steve Trevor may be an honest man but he connects us to a world more brutish and mad than the one we fled. […] He cannot peaceably stay and he cannot be allowed to leave. Do you not see?

DIANA (eyes locked on Steve) I see only murder.

HIPPOLYTE (sees Diana staring) Your eyes are clouded.

DIANA They are clear, mother. Maybe for the first time.

She starts to leave.

HIPPOLYTE I envy the luxury of your clarity. (Diana stops) I am Queen of Themyscira. My responsibilities weigh heavily on me. It’s simpler for those who’ve never had any.

so yeah basically this scene is all about Our Hero and how his heroic heroism puts Diana on a path to becoming Wonder Woman. She’s been living a life of blissful naivety on her island, and then this man comes along and is ready to die so that innocents may live, while Diana’s isolationist people would rather kill to save themselves, and in an instant her eyes are opened “maybe for the first time” and GOSH AREN’T YOU LUCKY A MAN CAME ALONG TO TEACH YOU HOW TO BE A HERO.

Nighttime now. Steve is gloomily pacing his ‘cell’, which is actually a big, comfortably furnished room. Diana, doing a Batman, steps out of the shadows behind him.

DIANA Why don’t you care?

He turns, not particularly surprised to see her. She comes close as she talks. There is an attraction between them that neither of them mentions — or possibly even knows about.

UGH GO AWAY JOSS.

She wants to know why he’s so willing to throw away his life. She wants to know about his world, and what it is he believes matters more than saving his own skin. Steve is uncommunicative; he doesn’t know what she wants him to say.

DIANA (thrown) I… I wonder if there’s a reason. For your coming. Some sign, something for me to learn.

STEVE So my imminent death is, wow, all about you. You know I really should rest up, though, for the dying — why don’t [we] do this another time?

DIANA But we—

STEVE (ushers her out) I’ll call you. I mean it. Let’s keep in touch.

This is a recurring theme in their interactions. Diana reaches out, trying — often somewhat ignorantly or naively — to understand or to help, and Steve bites her head off for being a spoiled, selfish little princess who knows nothing about the real world.

Speaking of which!

DIANA I don’t like your manner.

STEVE And I don’t feature spending my last night on earth playing Discovery Channel for some bored debutante.

DIANA I’m just trying to understand.

STEVE Understand what?

DIANA You. Your world.

STEVE You can’t.

DIANA “Can’t”?

STEVE Can’t. Is that another new word for you? Means ‘are unable to’.

DIANA But you won’t even—

STEVE You and I have nothing in common.

He crosses to the banquet table.

STEVE (continuing) Has there ever been a day when you didn’t have everything you wanted? Have you ever been hungry? (chucks the pear to her — hard) Been cold? Worked twenty hour days underground for no pay, been spat on, stepped on, shot at… (approaches her again) Your mom is Queen of Crazy Town but she’s right to be scared. You wanna stay as far away from the real world as possible. They’d eat you alive, Princess.

DIANA I am an Amazon.

STEVE Yeah yeah, bend steel with your bare hands… in my world, you wouldn’t last a day.

UGH.

So Diana wanders out of Steve’s cell and towards Athena’s temple, “lost in unhappy thought”. Aethra catches up with him and — you guessed it — SHE STILL WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT STEVE’S DICK.

AETHRA (behind her) At least tell me you looked at it.

Aethra wants to know why Diana comes to Athena’s temple every night. What is it she asks the goddess for?

DIANA I… I ask what to ask. To know… what I want, to be content… (quiet passion) I am not what I should be. I can be more, I was meant to be more, I know it. To do something worthy. (looking off) I ask Athena what that is.

AETHRA And you think she’s answered.

DIANA (turning, urgent) Can it be coincidence? That a man should drop straight from the sky after all this time?

So, if we’re following this logic… Diana asks the goddess “what [she needs] to be content” and to be the person she was “meant to be” — and the goddess responds by dropping a man in her lap.

Joss Whedon is such a Great Feminist Writer, y’all.

Also, Aethra’s response to this?

AETHRA (smiling) You really think you’re the only woman on the island thinks that was her prayer being answered?

Because evidently Whedon’s Amazons are deeply heterosexual and desperate for cock.

Diana confesses her unease, and Aethra gives her some completely meaningless advice.

AETHRA Then don’t be a child. Don’t ask for guidance, for permission; don’t ask for anything. Tell Athena what you want. Maybe then you’ll hear her reply.

yes because making aggressive demands of the gods and failing to observe proper respect has always historically gone well for the greeks.

Diana spends the entire night praying. In the morning, a falcon (which isn’t Athena’s bird, but who cares about research) alights in front of her and she stares at it.

Our Hero is led into the royal hall, bravely prepared to meet his death. As Hippolyta prepares to mete out his sentence, the proceedings are interrupted by a stampede of animals. Screeching falcons swoop into the hall and land on Hippolyta’s throne. Huge snakes carve a path through the crowd, followed by a pair of giant panthers and no I have no fucking idea where Whedon is going with this either because he never follows up on it at all.

Diana enters behind the panthers, cloaked and hooded, and announces that she is invoking the “Right of Trial”.

STEVE Trial by what?

Diana pulls off her robe in one swift motion.

AETHRA Combat, of course.

Beneath is the outfit: the burnished eagle breastplate, the deep red of the cloth bodice, the skirt, a greek’s, leather strips low in the middle and cut higher at the hips, dark blue with diamond-shaped silver inlays. The gold sandals matching the wristbands and tiara. A sword is on her hip, which she pulls, pointing at Steve with it.

DIANA (to the assembled) This is the law. If I can defeat Themyscira’s greatest warrior in single combat, judgement on this man will be mine to render. He will live, return to his world… and I will go with him. […] If this world of his is truly mad, I would know why. I would know what it is we all fear so terribly. (pointedly, to Mom) I consider it… my responsibility.

And who is Themyscira’s greatest warrior? Well, I think we all know the answer to that.

So Diana has to fight her mother to save Steve’s life.

But it’s more fucked up than that, because Joss has made Hippolyta the symbol of all of Themyscira’s insular, xenophobic, backward tradition, while Steve represents the hero Diana aspires to be — all-American, prepared to sacrifice himself to defend the helpless.

So in practice this reads as Diana choosing to reject her people’s (primitive, wrong) culture and embrace the (good, heroic) American Way.

Anyway, Hippolyta hefts her sword and they fight. Steve continues to be a smartass.

AETHRA This must seem strange to you.

STEVE No, my mom and I did this all the time.

The fight is relentless — “In Amazon training,” Joss tells us, “they don’t teach retreat”. What with the Amazons being ruthless savages and all. Hippolyta gradually starts to get the upper hand, sends Diana to her knees and brings her sword down “with all her might” on Diana’s shoulder. It shatters on Diana’s skin.

For a moment, only the clatter of the shards on stone.

Then Diana is back up in a flash, swinging at her mother with brutal force — Hippolyte blocks and pulls Diana close.

HIPPOLYTE In his world, it may not be the sword that will break. You will be weakened, and reviled, daughter: death is out there. Here you are safe, you’re strong, you are a princess and there they will make you nothing now will you yield?

Diana looks at her with intensity, but no malice.

DIANA I can’t.

HIPPOLYTE. (quietly) I know.

She steps back, throws her broken sword down. […] Hyppolyte grabs Diana to her and embraces her fiercely, both women exhausted and emotional.

Hyppolyte kisses her head, takes it in her hands, inches from her face. She whispers ungently:

HIPPOLYTE (continuing) Remember who you are. They will take everything from you but that.

…aaaaand I guess that’s that, then? Hippolyta breaks her sword on Diana’s shoulder, fights her to a standstill, and then, “give up now? what, you don’t? oh okay well I guess I give up instead, then”.

Steve and Diana fly out. Joss takes the time to tell us that Diana is wearing “a simple white tunic (which on her is anything but simple)” which oh my god keep your boner to yourself mate.

Also let’s just pause to note that at this point Diana’s only motivation beyond a vaguely-articulated desire for direction is The Boy. In most modern versions of Wonder Woman’s origin, Steve is a catalyst rather than the motivating factor in Diana’s journey forth into Man’s World. Rucka’s Amazons recognise the gods’ hand in Steve’s arrival and realise that greater forces are on the move; this spurs them to choose a champion who will be both ambassador and protector. Pérez’s Diana actually wins the mantle of champion and the responsibility of defending the world against Ares before the war god’s machinations bring Steve’s plane down.

Whedon’s Diana has no mission or calling. She just met a boy and decided to follow him home.

[cerebral-posi]

No Barriers 2017 Recap

From June 1-4, I attended my first No Barriers Summit at the Resort at Squaw Creek in Tahoe, California. It was the first multi-day, destination conference that I've attended as a tech professional. No Barriers USA, the organization that hosts the Summit, aims to provide people with all types of disabilities avenues to explore physical activities they didn't think they were capable of participating in, as well as cutting-edge technologies that could help them live happier, more independent lives. The Summit is a place for people with disabilities to gather and connect over shared challenges, the stories of our struggles and triumphs, and learn about incredible technologies, services, and organizations that are working hard to have a positive impact on the world. Being around so many like-minded people, most of whom have some sort of disability, is deeply stimulating. Four consecutive days of this creates a profoundly empowering experience. Each night, all 1000 or so of us would gather for a series of speakers and performances celebrating our stories and experiences, both similar and different.

I arrived in Reno, NV around 11 pm Wednesday, May 31st. I slept in a cheap hotel near the airport where the bathtub had a layer of dirt the size and shape of a bath mat. The next morning, I got on a shuttle back to the airport to rendezvous with my ride to Tahoe and a few other No Barriers participants. I was the only total newbie in the SUV. Getting to know these other Summiters and hearing their stories of previous Summits got me pumped for what was to come. There was a lot of traffic once we got into Squaw Valley, so a drive that should have taken us an hour took us 90 minutes. I walked into the lobby of the Resort at Squaw Creek, looked out the window and could not believe what I saw. The lobby overlooked much of the hotel's beautiful grounds, which included a waterfall protruding out of the building, a pavilion which had been set up for us to gather for evening activities, a swimming pool (with water slide!), a lush green golf course with a creek running through it, and breathtaking, snow-capped mountains along the horizon.  I connected with my roommate Steve, who was manning one of the registration tables. We checked in and I brought my bags up to the room to settle in. I spent a little time working to tie up some loose ends before completely "leaving the office" for 4 days. I headed down to the innovation Village a little after 4. Innovation Village is a small tech exposition set up as part of the Summit to showcase cutting edge technologies that help people with all kinds of disabilities live more independent, autonomous lives. Some highlights include Re-Voice, a glove built by Sensidy that translates American Sign Language (ASL) in real-time as the wearer of the glove signs. There was also Aira, a company that leverages Google Glass to provide live audio descriptions to people who are blind or visually impaired. I got to catch up with my friends at AbleThrive as well. AbleThrive is a one-stop platform for people with disabilities and their families to access curated and customized resources from around the world.

After dinner, everyone gathered at the pavilion for the Opening Ceremony. Angie Shireman MC'ed. Mark Wellman spoke about climbing El Capitan and Half Dome in Yosemite National Park as a paraplegic, Marlee Matlin spoke about the challenges she has faced in her acting career as a deaf woman, Infinite Flow, a professional wheelchair ballroom dance company, danced for us, and Noah Galloway discussed what it was like recovering from an injury he sustained as an American soldier during Operation Iraqi Freedom. Later that night, I ended up chatting with Marisa and Adelfo of Infinite Flow at the resort bar. I went to bed that night exhausted and excited. I hadn't been there long, but it was already better than I could have imagined.

Friday morning, I participated in Intro to Adaptive Cycling. This activity allowed me to try out a few recumbent bicycles and ride one around a golf course. When I returned from the golf course, it turned out there was ample time left in the 4-hours allotted for the morning activities, so I went back out with one of the volunteers and got to ride around the Squaw Valley bike trail. We ended up having so much fun we went over the time allotted for the activity. Imagine gliding around a beautiful green space, with ducks floating around a nearby stream, the sun shining down from a powder blue sky, and snow-capped mountains along the horizon. This may seem ordinary to someone without a physical disability, but for me, there is no feeling that compares.

Friday night, dinner was held at Innovation Village. After I ate, I walked around chatting with exhibitors and other Summiters, and out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Zach Anner handing out raffle tickets! I awkwardly ended the conversation I was having and started chasing him. I had to wait a few minutes because so many people were flocking around but I was eventually able to say hi to him and get a photo with him. I'm usually super awkward when I meet people who I look up to or are even mildly famous, and this time was no different. I didn't even tell him how much I love his work! I still kind of regret that, but it was great to meet him. Later that night, there was a concert at the pavilion. Mark Goffeny opened the show. He was born without arms, and is impressively able to play guitar, drive, and do many common tasks with his feet. X Ambassadors played a short but invigorating set. I didn't realize until that night that I had heard a couple of their songs previously, or that their keyboardist is blind. An incredible singer-songwriter, Mandy Harvey, who lost her hearing at the age of 18, also performed a few songs throughout the night. It was deeply moving and empowering to see people with disabilities exude so much confidence. To see them get on stage in front of a thousand people and play an instrument that you can't see and sing despite not being able to hear your own voice has made me rethink my own challenges and barriers and is pushing me to work harder to break them. If I want something bad enough and am persistent, I can achieve what I've set out to conquer. If these people can do what they do in spite of their barriers, I can certainly accomplish my goals in spite of my own. It made me realize how much I hold myself back sometimes purely due to fear.

Kayaking on Stunning Lake Tahoe was the title listed for my Saturday morning activity. While this may sound cheesy, that title is truly accurate. Even though it was a bit gloomy that morning, it was a welcome change from day 1's blistering sun. I rode in a tandem sit-top kayak with a guide from Environmental Travelling Companions (ETC) in the back. ETC organizes and provides single and multi-day kayaking trips for people with disabilities. They had fairly recently developed a custom chair that serves the needs of their program participants, the AdventureMaker Chair. This chair reminded me of a Crazy Creek with significantly more padding. It provided ample support and comfort for me, even allowing me to tailor the support so that there is more on the right side of my body, where I need a little extra help to maintain proper posture. I also used an adaptive paddle that had a device attached to it that helped me keep my right-hand gripped on the paddle.  We straggled behind but didn't care. It was so tranquil and relaxing, I was perfectly content soaking up the scenery and chatting, motorboats periodically leaving us in their wake and mountains poking out of the fog.

That afternoon, I attended an Adaptive Self-Defense class, which was probably the most practical activity I participated in over the four days. The instructor cracked a lot of jokes while teaching us a few basic self-defense techniques to employ if we encounter someone who invades our personal space. On my way to dinner, I found my friend Avi hanging out near the Outrider USA tent. Avi had mentioned this company earlier in the day, so out of curiosity I took a closer look. Outrider USA builds what they call "electric adventure vehicles". They were letting people try them, so I got on line and signed a waiver. I was a little nervous. The closest thing I'd ridden to these vehicles at that time was a go-kart. When it was my turn I put a helmet on, sat down in the vehicle (which reminded me of a mountain bike with an extra wheel and motor), and slowly engaged the throttle. The further away from the tent and other people I got, the more excited and comfortable I felt piloting the Outrider. It was incredibly exhilarating riding around the golf course, the sun shining down on me and mountains in the background. I was so giddy I couldn't stop laughing. One of the Outrider employees was riding in another vehicle alongside me and got a few really nice videos of the ride.

Saturday night was the Closing Ceremony. Mandy Harvey performed again. Watching her never ceases to astonish me. Her level of commitment to her craft, and the trust she has for not only herself but also her audiences is deeply admirable. A couple days after the Summit, she performed on America's Got Talent. If you haven't seen her audition, I strongly urge you to watch it. Sam Morris, founder of Zen Warrior Training MC'd, ushering Zach Anner, Liz Murray, and Erik Weihenmayer on stage one at a time to speak. Zach gave a hilarious speech about the importance of having a good support network. Liz spoke about overcoming homelessness to attend and eventually graduate from Harvard. Erik was the last to speak, closing things out by reflecting on the events of the past few days and what it means to live a "No Barriers life". To sum it up concisely, if you fail, keep trying, and don't be afraid to rely on your "rope team" because we are stronger when we work together.

On Sunday, the last day of the Summit, I joined the Amazing Race. We gathered into teams, each team competing against the others in various physical and mental challenges. I didn't expect this activity to be as fun as it was. My team worked very well together to complete each challenge. Some of the challenges escape me now, but they included an obstacle course in an off-road wheelchair, a rafting activity where you had to throw bean bags into hula hoops while moving down a fast-moving creek, and one where we had to pass an object from one person to the next using only wooden spoons.

I left Tahoe around 2pm that day, in a car with my friends Avi, Evelyn, and Courtney. Avi had to drop off his rental car around 3, and Courtney had an earlier flight than the rest of us. Since we had some time to kill before our red-eye flights at midnight, Avi, Evelyn, and I took a free shuttle from the airport to a nearby casino. Little did we know what we were about to get into. When we got to the casino we were surprised to see someone outside wearing a furry wolf mask. We walked inside and left our bags at the bell-desk. As we started walking away from the bell-desk, we noticed another furry-costumed being, and then another, and another. We soon were amused to discover that we had stumbled into a furry convention.

The whole experience feels so surreal now. I arrived and left in such a short amount of time that I don't think my body ever fully adjusted to the different time zone. I was constantly blown away at how friendly and down to earth everyone was. Even the board members of No Barriers were frequently hanging out and chatting with participants. Sometimes they participated in the daily activities too. It was the kind of environment where you smile and say hello to everyone you walk by, and they smile and say hello back, sometimes even stopping to have a conversation. It felt like everyone was truly on the same level. This is something I'm not used to as a New Yorker, and I really miss it. It was a refreshing change of pace.

Since returning home I feel a renewed sense of confidence and purpose. I'm pretty sure I met the most people with disabilities I've ever met at the No Barriers Summit. Even the most people with cerebral palsy specifically. I've never felt so connected to a group of people either. From the first meal I ate there (lunch on Thursday) to waiting for my ride back to Reno on Sunday, I made friends everywhere I went, with everyone I spoke to. Experiencing the Summit together felt like a bond. Everyone has their own unique struggles and barriers to work through, and seeking to break these barriers, overcome these struggles, brings us together. No one can find success without asking for help from others, but sometimes asking for help is the hardest part. No Barriers USA provides a safe space and resources for people to learn how to harness their potential and break any barriers in the way. They not only promote self-empowerment but also live it.