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#and also so I can remember where I am when I'm threading
vanessagillings · 6 months
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I’m posting the ever-so-rare photo of myself alongside one of my characters based on my childhood because today is World Autism Acceptance Day, and I wanted to show my little corner of the internet who this particular autistic person is:  
I was officially diagnosed in February, at age 38 (I’m now 39). A lot of people thought I couldn’t be autistic.  Some people who know me in real life still don’t.  And until around 10 years ago, I didn’t think I could be either, because I was nothing like the stereotype media portrays. I was told that autistics lacked empathy (untrue), and never played make-believe (also often untrue) and only enjoyed STEM.  I was — and am — an empathetic artist -- and make believe?  I can spend days sketching finely bedecked bears brewing tea or carefully choosing the right words to weave tapestries of fiction — though perhaps my hyper focus was a bit of a red flag.  Even so, how could autism describe me?  I was a good student.  I got straight A's. I didn’t act out in class.  I can make eye contact…if I must.  And lots of girls hate having their hair brushed with an unholy passion, right?  Clearly I swim in sarcasm like a fish, so autism couldn't be why I was so anxious all the time, could it?
If someone had told me when I was younger what autism ACTUALLY is — instead of the nonsense I’d seen on screens — I would have seen myself in it.  I didn’t hear that autistics have sensory issues until I was in my mid-twenties, which is when I first began to really research autism symptoms, and I had almost all of them:  sensitivity to light, smells, fabrics, temperatures, textures, and certain touches, all of which make me feel anxious, I fidget (stim), I never know what the hell to do with my hands or where to look, I talk too little or too much, I have special interests, I have entire animated movies memorized shot-by-shot and can remember the first time and place I saw every movie I've ever seen but I often forget what I'm trying to say mid-sentence, I echo movies and tv shows (my husband and I have a whole repertoire of shared echolalias, making up about 20% of our conversations), I was in speech therapy as a kid, I have issues with dysnomia and verbal fluency, I toe-walk, I can't multitask to save my life, I like things just-so, I’m deeply introverted but not shy, I need to recover from all social interaction — even social interaction I enjoy — and I find stupid, every day things like grocery shopping, driving and making appointments overwhelming and intensely stressful, sometimes to the point where I struggle to speak.  It turns out, I am definitely autistic. My results weren't borderline. Not even close. And while these aren’t all of my challenges, and not everyone with these symptoms is autistic, it’s definitely something to look into if you present with all of these things at once. 
So why did it take me so long to get diagnosed? The same bias that exists in media threads through the medical community as well, and because I'm a woman who can discuss the weather while smiling on cue, few people thought I was worth looking into. Even after I was fairly certain I was autistic, receiving an official diagnosis in the US is unnecessarily difficult and expensive, and in my case, completely uncovered by my insurance.  It cost me over $4000, and I could only afford it because my husband makes more money than I do as a freelance illustrator — a job I fell into largely because it didn’t require in-person work; like many autists, I have been chronically underemployed and underpaid, in part due to physical illness in my twenties, which is a topic for another day.  But it shouldn’t be like this.  It shouldn’t be so hard for adults to receive diagnoses and it shouldn’t be so hard for people to see themselves in this condition to begin with due to misinformation and stereotypes. Like many issues in America, these barriers are even higher for marginalized groups with multiple intersectionalities. 
It’s commonly said that if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.  This is why it’s called a spectrum, not because there’s a linear progression of severity (someone who appears to have low support needs like myself might need more than it seems, and vice versa), but because every autistic person has their own strengths and weaknesses, challenges and experiences, opinions and needs.  No two people on the spectrum present in the same way.  And that’s a good thing!  No way of being autistic is inherently any better than any other, and even if someone on the spectrum struggles with things I don’t — or can do things I can’t — doesn’t make them more or less deserving of respect and human dignity.
But speaking solely for myself, the more I learn about autism, the happier I am to be autistic.  I struggle to find words and exert fine motor control, but my deep passion and fixation has made me good at art and storytelling anyway.  I find more joy watching dogs and studying leaf shapes on my walks than most people do in an entire day.  More often than not, the barriers I’ve faced weren’t due to my autism directly, but due to society being overly rigid about what it considers a valid way of existing.  My hope in writing this today is that maybe one person will realize that autism isn’t what they thought — and that being different is not the same as being less than. My hope with my fiction is to give autistic children mirrors with which to see themselves, and everyone else windows through which to see us as we actually are.
If you’re interested in learning more about autism or think you might be autistic, too, I recommend the Autism Self Advocacy Network  autisticadvocacy.org and the following books:
What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic by Annie Kotowicz
We're Not Broken by Eric Garcia
Knowing Why edited by Elizabeth Bartmess
Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, PhD
Loud Hands edited by Julia Bascom
Neurotribes by Steve Silberman
(trigger warning: the last two contain quite a lot of upsetting material involving institutionalized child abuse, but I think it’s important for people to know how often autistic children were — and are — abused simply for being neurodivergent).
Thanks for reading 💛
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I'm tired of my ideas always being big. It's overwhelming. I like seeing others' WIPs and ideas because they're just so simple... Like, that comic about a mermaid living in the ocean in our modern time and dealing with plastic trash. So simple and my own brain is bursting with ideas. But my own WIPs... they just start huge. I'd like something smaller... but I don't know how.
Stories Always Get Too Big
Stories can get out of hand quickly when they sprout too many independent threads. There are three primary culprits that serve as sparks that create these threads:
1 - Setting 2 - Non-Protagonist Characters/Relationships 3 - Back Story
The thing to remember, though, is that no matter how interesting your setting is, no matter how compelling your other characters are, and how fascinating the back story is, those things are not your plot.
Plot is the sequence of events through which the protagonist (and potentially other main characters) attempt to resolve the story's conflict by overcoming obstacles and setbacks in pursuit of a goal.
In other words, focus on this:
the protagonist > their normal world > the event that introduces a problem they must resolve > the goal they formulate in order to resolve that problem > the events that occur as a result of their pursuit of this goal > their attempts to overcome obstacles and setbacks encountered along the way > their attempt to solve the problem once and for all > failure or success > life in a changed situation/world
Anything else doesn't need to be there unless it is critical in order for one of the above steps to make sense.
So, let's take your mermaid example... though I haven't read that comic so I'm winging it here:
the protagonist = mermaid normal world = doing mermaid stuff inciting incident = finding plastic trash in the water goal = clean up/find the culprit and teach them to do better events = cleaning up, learning about humans, tracking down culprit climax = mermaid appeals to humans to do better finale = mermaid is living in a cleaner ocean
Now, let's say your brain starts to go off on a tangent about a deep oceanic rift and an evil merman wizard who lives there... stop right there. It's a fun idea, but what does it have to do with this story? How does it relate to the trash, clean-up, finding the culprit, or appeal to humans to do better? It doesn't. Theoretically, you could make it make sense... like, maybe the merman wizard likes the trash and wants the ocean to be dirty and gross, so maybe he is opposing the mermaid's attempts to clean up and to appeal to the humans. Okay, that works, so you can keep it. But, let's say you also have this idea about these creatures that live around the hydrothermal vents, and the mermaid meets and falls in love with a scientist who's studying them. Okay, again, interesting idea, but this one is much harder to fit in with the rest of the story. Sure, you could say the scientist is studying marine pollution instead... that brings it back around to the main conflict, but still, what does this relationship add to the story? How does it help or harm the mermaid's mission? How does it help to explore the story's themes or help deliver the message? It doesn't really sound like it does, so this would be an example of a thread you can probably snip.
And the thing is, it would be okay to follow a thread like that while you're plotting or writing your first draft, just to see where it goes and see if you can make it work. Part of why we edit and revise is to snip out the threads and elements that aren't pulling their weight. But learning how to curb them as they occur to you will help save you work later on down the line. Try writing those ideas down in an ideas document, and maybe those can be worked into different stories, a sequel, or a companion story.
One final note: I am very much aware that there are some epic writers out there who let wild tangles of threads sprout as they write, and they follow them all without abandon, relevant or not. That's okay, too. These are writers for whom that works, who don't feel overwhelmed by all of those threads, who want to write something bigger and more unwieldy. Maybe in time as you get accustomed to writing smaller, tidier stories, you embrace the bigger stories your brain wants to tell. Or maybe you don't. Whatever works best for you is all that matters. :)
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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!
♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here
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jolapeno · 3 months
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sunrise
francisco morales x santiago garcia
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GIF credit to @perotovar
summary: after mixed messages, pope asks frankie if he'll watch the sunrise with him.
wordcount: 1.1k warnings: none. jo doing jo things with words. just two boys, mixed messages and a bit of hope. an: happy pride. this fic is dedicated to the lovely, wonderful @perotovar who not only is a great friend, but also has never made me feel like i'm not part of pride. it's been a long time since I've written m/m, but erin, your kind words (and gif) filled me with joy. i hope this fills you with joy too.
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Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz—
He doesn’t need to look, to smack his hand around the bedside table, Frankie knows where his phone is.
Retrieving it, pressing it to his ear—old sleep crusting in his eyes—Frankie lets out a soft groan, the weight of lingering thoughts still pushing heavily against his mind. With a reluctant sigh, he mumbles a tender hello, his voice heavy, gruff.
“Hey,” Pope says.
It elongates, stretches out like a fragile thread suspended between them—as though another word should have followed but isn’t spoken.
“You awake?”
“Am now.”
He doesn’t miss the chuckle that’s embedded into the breath. Nor, how it brushes down and through the phone. A sensation bubbling across his skin, his body remembering how it feels to have it against him.
“You’ve not been replying—in the group chat.”
He rubs his face, the motion all a hopeless attempt to awaken his mind, wishing the act would spur on words. Something. Anything to bridge the aching void between them.
It doesn’t.
It just adds to the other things churning inside him, layering over doubts and questions—the ones that linger unanswered, even when they are alone, haunting the spaces between their moments together.
Sliding the phone back against his cheek, he sighs. “Yeah, sorry. Just… wasn’t checking things.”
“Yeah, thought so.”
He hums, and then releases a heavy breath. Needing to fill the silence before it begins. Not wanting to find out if today it’s comfortable or the opposite.
“You busy?”
“At 3 in the morning?”
Pope laughs—and Frankie hates how much he likes the sound. Despises it, almost. Loathes it, like he detests how he feels.
“Didn’t know if you wanted to watch the sunrise with me.”
“I’m a whole flight from you, Pope.”
“Don’t have to be in the same location to watch the sun come up, Fish.”
“We fuckin’ do if it comes up at different times, cabrón.”
There’s a pause, then a chuckle. One that begins with Pope and then ends with him. It fills the air, the space, the area between them that they pretend not to notice or ask about whenever they come home.
Because home isn’t out there, where they’re adorned in layers that barrier against artillery and threats; home isn’t where they help the other free from it all in the comfort of a base room or a tent in the middle of nowhere. Home is real. It’s chosen paint on the walls and picked out bedding; it’s photographs filled with only the best and souvenirs that remind of good times.
And, right now, the only evidence of Pope here is the memories—
That first kiss. How fuelled it had been, how he’d done it purely to stop the tide of ifs and buts that Pope had been flinging, angrily darting in the hope to hit the bullseye and wound him further than his foolishness had.
And it’s not that Frankie wishes to hang up, it isn’t that he hopes to shove things further into his soul. He’s had his crisis—had it when he’d had Pope pressed against his spine, breath fanning out over his neck, making the hair curled from their earlier activities twitch and tickle.
But, he’s at least come to terms with the fact this isn’t a home thing. A thing which doesn’t exist when he steps on the plane to go back to a life where people call him Francisco. He’s made his peace with it, accepted it—as much as a person can.
He’s done the work to rationalise and reason. So, whatever this phone call is, it feels counterproductive. It feels like sinking, falling through those steps and nets he’s built until he’s drenched in the will-they-won’t-they he’s clambered far away from. The hopes seep into his skin, worming into his brain, threatening to paint shadows on the back of his eyelids at what the two of them could be—
“What are we doing, Pope?”
There’s an exhale. It’s likely a sigh, but it’s hard to assess without the facial expression. The way he wears his feelings in his body language.
“I‘m not sure.”
Frankie expects that, somehow. Yet it still stings, hurts—ripples out like a lashing he’s braced for. Rolling onto his side, he grinds his jaw. Staring at the gap in the curtains, the one that’ll allow light to bleed through in a few more hours, nostrils flaring as he shakes his head.
“I can’t watch the sunrise with you.”
“‘Cause of the time difference?”
Rolling his eyes, he blows out a harsh breath. “No. Because if we do, I’ll confess something that’ll make it hard for you to do that compartmentalising shit that you do about the fact you and I fuck.”
The silence that follows is painful, excruciating. It’s devoid and barren, dull and full of nothing. There’s no background noise to drown it out, the night too quiet, the hour too dormant—to the point it almost makes Frankie feel guilty for disturbing it.
“What if I told you I’m at the motel on 22nd—”
Frankie sits up. Bolt upright. The suddenness of it forces the sheet to fall from his neck to pool at his waist, the air cool flurrying over warm skin, heat blooming in his cheeks.
“—the one you talked about—”
His heart hammers. Pounds.
“—the one you go to when home is a bit too… home.”
“Pope…”
“Fish.”
Swinging his legs from under the sheets, elbow resting on the place above his knee, hand wiping down his face, awake, blood pounding in his ears.
“Por favor no bromees.”
Sighing, blowing it right into his ear. It’s far more soothing, rooting, than it has been before.
“Wanna watch the sunrise with me, Fish?”
Swallowing, fear threatens to poison the joy that is trying to fill his chest. His hand clamps around his knee for leverage, for strength. Squeezing, likely making his skin paler—it returning to colour when he releases as he tries to get his brain to calculate the percentage of how much of a good idea this is.
But then he hears his name. It whispered, with more of an infliction, a question to it.
And so he takes a breath. “Y-yeah. Yeah, I’ll… get dressed now.”
“Okay.”
“Alright.”
A silence unfurls, one nicer, more bearable than any of the others before—
“Well hurry then, Fish.”
And then, as Frankie suspected, Pope ends the call.
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tagging: @morallyinept (for your collection)
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netherworldpost · 17 days
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Scooby Doo. Episode 1 Season 1. Saturday. September 13. 1969.
Episode. One. Of Scooby Doo.
Amazing.
It is literally amazed, I am literally struck with awe, when I think about it.
How many hands worked on this episode, how many minds, how many thoughts, how many ideas were rejected, how many ideas molded together, how much love, how much "ah bones I just gotta get through this," how much craft.
Drawing painting ideas writing voices music cell animation camera work countless meetings countless chances.
Countless threads that, had they missed the bobbin, poof we wouldn't have Scooby Doo. Or we would but it would be Less Than This.
It's astounding to think how such a project has shaped the world -- THE WORLD!
I am very practically impractical. I know a significant amount of work that went into producing one of the world's greatest pieces of art and culture were designed to pace advertising for breakfast cereal or hair gel and/or other things. Maybe toys, probably later but toys at a certain point.
I also know that Scooby Doo has been a part of my life for the entire time I can remember being able to remember things.
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Scooby. Shaggy. Fred. Daphne. Velma. The Mystery Machine.
Mysteries.
There is a ghost, there is a ghoul, there is a friend in trouble, there is a family member who wrote, there is something going awry, we're lost, we're hungry, we're out of gas, we've got a flat tire, we don't know which way to go, the road is forked, the map is wrong, there is a sound, there is more than meets the eye.
I am practically impractical.
I know it's a commercial product. Designed and owned. Exists to make money.
I also know it is art.
Culture.
Part of my life.
Part of my heart.
Scooby. Shaggy. Fred. Daphne. Velma. The Mystery Machine. Mysteries.
We'll figure it out. We're friends forever. We love each other. There is always enough. Hungry? I have snacks. Cold? I have a blanket. Tired? I'll drive.
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Scared? I'll hold you.
Being chased? I'll carry you.
I love you. I'm here for you. Whatever happens, I am here for you, whatever you do, I love you, whatever happens, we're in this together, whatever you do, I'm here for you forever.
Scooby. Shaggy. Fred. Daphne. Velma. The Mystery Machine.
I'm so happy to exist in a world where they are available to enjoy in so many different ways.
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bitesizedpoetry · 3 months
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hello x
what are your favourite poetry blogs?
I did not expect this innocuous question to make me so sad. Because I went through my following list and this is a snippet of what stared back:
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Almost all my favourite poetry blogs are either inactive or have been deactivated, and now I'm wishing I saved their poems that took my heart in their hands and shook it like a snow globe.
Still, here are my favourite active (at least within the year) poetry blogs in no particular order: also included some excerpts of their writing. And hopefully I didn't miss anyone. If I did, might have thought you were inactive, but I still love your poetry, promise!
@prasannawrites "You offer me your hand to hold & I look to your palm, creating a deity out of this" "…creating small gods from the mundane…" "How could I fit words into a prayer, when I can just as easily warm your hand on a cold night?"
@palladiumfragments "you're only worth something when you're suffering" "you have become the women in the mythology you loved so much as a child." "a dagger is the only thing that awaits you on the altar. you can reinvent yourself all you want but the rot is in the thread."
@amiablesummer "You laugh and laugh, lie down on the kitchen floor where you're not meant to lie, let alone laugh, and you're not meant to die there either. But what if we did, what if we stayed on the floor of the kitchen forever until the world burned from the too-bright sun and the oceans drowned all our utensils, one by one?"
@haikkun "I was a bird once / Tore my feathers in a dream / Though I beheld six kinds of light / Could only chase them via screams"
@kiisuuumii "i am still, just a small rabbit, fur grown in, black, and it is in my nature, still, to be taken, simply, as prey…" "…in the willingness to succumb to nature…" "i place my neck between the jaws of the wolf."
@ellisnightingale "It’s cloudy out, I like that best. Rain dusts the windowpane. So light it hardly makes a sound and the sky is dark again. I’m sure it’s cold but I won’t check, I’ll stay here where it’s dry. I don’t need sun on days like this."
@conversationswithme "I remember more this time, 1:52 in the morning / 10/29 - my cat is dead and I can’t whisper the / ugly in his ear. I have to write it here. / for me. / for you. / anyone. / I remember - that pungent, burnt smell - that / I can’t forget, and now knowing it / was the meat of a small person, / known as me. / I heard she grew up okay, though."
@cherokeeghostwriter "I am / four hours of sleep / meets, uncounted cups of coffee / meets, my fascination with the rain / dripping from the roof"
@memories-beneath-the-skin This entire poem
@leechteethwrites "Some things I could have never prepared for…" "The way the sky stretched itself after I no longer believed in heaven." "…I am still haunted by unshakable cruelties…" "The parts of my mother's girlhood I failed to rescue."
@sincerelygarden "I look at myself and lose my mind" "My instinct is telling me to find shelter / I can not blanket myself with this skin-" "I am in it, I know this. I can not crawl out, I am in it, I know…" "I look at myself and she doesn't make sense to me but I remember when she did"
I remember being asked similar questions years ago, and here are some of my answers when my other favourite poets/writers were still active. Please go through their archives, and you'll find so many hidden treasures. (And if any of them see this now, please start writing & sharing your work again soon. And to the active ones now, please continue writing & sharing, and I see some of you are starting to not be active now too...don't do that pls & ty)
If anyone has recommendations or if you have a poetry blog, please let me know in the replies or reblogs (so that more people can see this, maybe?), or message me privately. This ask made me realise I need more poetry blogs to follow.
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Sudden Nature by everbrighter
This MDZS fic/series is a modern AU that's mostly without magic... except there's a heavenly bureaucracy. And every once in a while, it makes a mistake, and sends someone who's died back to earth. This is rare, but frequent enough that hospitals have resurrection wards just in case.
If you're at all familiar with canon, I think we can all see where this is going.
Wei Ying is a a whistleblower on the Wen Corporation in this one, who's adopted baby A-Yuan. When he's killed in an accident, Lan Zhan raises Lan Yuan and lives with his grief... and then Wei Ying comes back. This is a story that's emotional and heartfelt, and very funny in bits, about grief and loss and family, and getting something back you never thought you would, much like canon.
The series is a bunch of interconnected short fic with two long segments. The first one is from one from Lan Sizhui's point of view: "Lan Yuan has lived most of his sixteen years not knowing the man who raised him as a toddler. So when Wei Ying suddenly comes back to life, both Lan Yuan and his dad, Lan Zhan, work to make room in their lives for him. Too bad he has a science project due this week..."
The second one is from Wei Ying's: "Wei Ying comes back from the dead, all of a sudden. Over the course of a week, he remembers what it is to be alive, and what it is to be in love." (Not gonna lie, I kind of love the parts where Wei Ying is adjusting to no longer having the body of a twenty year old, in terms of sleeping for a week on the couch now has CONSEQUENCES.)
But it was the very first part of the series that hooked me, where Lan Zhan falls in love. And it's not who you think.
"Aren’t there classes for this? Aren’t there books a person is supposed to read for this? Should he have done research? Shouldn’t he have prepared? But ah, it’s too late now, and there’s a baby in his arms, face to the shoulder of Lan Zhan’s cable-knit sweater."
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I finished the typeset for this fic back in the fall of 2022, and it was in my pile of text blocks to finish binding for Binderary, an annual fanbinding challenge, in February, 2023. It was the last one left. I looked at the text block. I looked at my bookcloth and paper options for the cover. I pulled out two options... and couldn't decide. It turns out, I just didn't have the right combination of colours.
In the interim, I obtained some Duo book cloth, a particular line that has a two-tone colour shift to it, gorgeous in person, but really hard to photograph. The company that makes it, sadly, has gone out of business, and the final group orders for it obtained near epic status among @renegadeguild circles. (It has its own lore. And fic.)
Which is to say, the spine of this book is Duo Dragonfly, and the cover is chiyogami paper. The endbands were my first time trying a double core, in sewing thread, and are a little bit shaky as a result, though I'm pretty happy with the colour combo. Lettering stencilled in gold acrylic paint.
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I was going for an ethereal, heavenly feel with the title page, and a shout out to the Toronto setting with the spread on the table of contents. (Hello, fellow Canadians!)
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A few interior shots here, and a vaguely Lan cloud used for the section breaks. I did a bit of formatting to mimic a newspaper column for the article that starts off "Thirty-Seven," the long section from Wei Ying's point of view.
I am pretty happy with how it turned out, and glad I held off to get the match that felt right for the cover materials!
And behind the cut for spoilers... the last sentence in the short chapter right before Wei Ying's death gets me RIGHT IN THE FEELS every single time I read it.
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Lan Zhan held onto A-Yuan! He held him for fifteen minutes, and then for the next sixteen years it took for Wei Ying to come back from getting milk at the 7-11! Oh my heart. Nnngh.
(Also, I slid in a fan art illustration for the fic from GreenTeaPikachu, so enjoy the drunk!LanZhan Does Parkour as an added bonus for clicking through!)
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olderthannetfic · 5 months
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Whenever I see the "there is no F/F content in fandoms, fandoms hate women" discussion on Tumblr, all I can think of is a phrase that is guaranteed to enrage half the Tumblr fandom audience, maybe more: "Have you tried imageboards?".
When I was younger, I used to frequent different anime and cartoon-themed imageboards. Big ones like 4Chan's /a/ and /co/, smaller ones meant for specific fandoms or kinks, non-English ones in my native language, you name it. The users were mostly straight men, and the F/F content and shipping flourished there. The "waifu threads" exclusively dedicated to gushing about female blorbos. The wast majority of kink content involving fictional women, either alone, with a nondescript self-insert man or with each other. The F/F fanart, fanfiction and ideas were just limitless, to the point where you would struggle to find one or two discussions about the guys in the midst of everyone celebrating the women.
The anime, cartoon or comic has a cast full of women? They will all get love. Women and men both? Women will generate much more discussion. One or two women amidst the cast full of men? People will mostly post about the two women, deal with it. Sure, there were designated boards and threads for the male characters, but good luck expecting there to be as much activity as there were in the waifu threads. The fandoms with lots of female characters, such as Touhou Project, thrived on these grounds, and much F/F shipping was had by everyone.
Now, of course, the imageboard culture is an entire separate beast. Right-leaning, edgy, bigoted - basically, what you get if you put a bunch of ostracized and lonely cishet male nerds in an echo chamber and let them feed each other bullshit all day long. A lot of the F/F art they made was sexual in nature, something that could be decried as sexualisation, but, the way I remember it, it was not much different from what is often done to male characters by straight women who ship M/M because they find the two dudes hot. A lot of gushing about waifus by the anonymous 4Chan dudes could be seen as misogynistic, despite the language being practically the same as when a Tumblr fandom girl is describing her blorboman and the things she wants to see done to him.
It all comes down to the the real life influencing the way we interact with fiction: male sexuality is viewed in a different light than female sexuality, despite both being more or less demonized in our society, just in different ways. Men are always predators, women are always victims. When a guy has sexual fantasies about a female character, he is a creep who wants to hurt real life women to enact these fantasies. When a woman has sexual fantasies about male characters, she cannot tell fiction from reality and is at risk of getting hurt by men while trying to enact these fantasies. And if either of them fantasizes about a same-sex couple, they are fetishizing queer people, obviously.
However, that's just how people roll - you cannot change what gender you are attracted to, and people with similar attractions stick together. It just so happens that the fandom side of Tumblr largely consists of straight women and queer men, so you get ships with guys, while the fandom side of 4Chan and the like largely consists of straight men, so you get ships with women. Both sides also happen to have cultures that don't mix well, and someone who frequents one place is likely to avoid the other.
I don't frequent 4Chan anymore, and I'm not big on fandom Tumblr, either, but Tumblr continues to be the unique place where I am more likely to stumble upon erotic fandom content featuring men than women, who are the majorly discussed and shipped characters practically everywhere else. I obviously do not excuse 4Chan's bigotry and rampant hateful bullshit, but my point still stands: if you want to see more F/F shipping and discussions of girl blorbos, but don't feel like making some yourself and creating a like-minded community on Tumblr, you should try your luck elsewhere on the Internet, especially when it comes to anime and cape comic fandoms. Tumblr is a unique place in terms of male-centric fandom content, and honestly, it's not that bad, if Tumblr isn't the only place you find your stuff at. It simply occupies a specific niche and doesn't offer much of everything else (though you can still find it if you look).
--
Now, be fair: plenty of imageboards are full of nominally straight guys who love millions of female blorbos... and art of Link getting wrecked.
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twinklix · 10 months
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hello!! is it okay to see a soft doting dom felix x sub fem reader? i do see quite a lot of weird nsfw lix imagines and i can never read them as im pretty normal and subby and it’s rare to see nsfw imagines like that! same with hyunjin tbh <333
₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎˚ ✧ anything for you | L.FL
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Soft Dom Lee Felix x Fem reader | wc 1.6k
an; Hi anonie! I’m sosososo sorry for the wait. the last year was hectic i've been away but i'm back to writing now! I hope you like this! i also have a way longer felix fic planned out that was originally gonna be my response to thus request ! <3
Warnings; smut, fluff, established relationship, oral (f receiving), felix is head over heels, praise, soft dom x sub, pet names (baby, angel, beautiful), unprotected sex (wrap it up!), mentions of aftercare, lmk if i forgot anything (not edited)
18+ MDNI
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"is there anything else you need?!"
He asked this like it was a life or death situation. Furrowed brows adorning his usually calm and sweet face.
"No lixie," you tried to wave his worries away with a laugh, "im fine."
His face softened as he moved to sit beside you on the bed. You turned toward him and took his face into your hands. A smile spread across his face as his eyes met yours. He got like this whenever you left for more than two days, and this time it was a month.
"i just want my baby to be happy... i missed you so much" his gaze shifted down and you released his face.
"i am happy baby! All i need to be happy is you."
A bout of relief swelled in his stomach at your reassurance. He finally let himself breathe, sighing out to try and calm himself down.
“In fact, I’ll show you how happy you make me..” His gaze, now a questioning one, drifted back to you. Before he could inquire further, you reached for his hand, leading it slowly under your skirt, eyes refusing to tear from his widening ones as you did so.
He felt his fingers brush over the fabric of your soft panties. You were wet. VERY wet.
Big doe eyes met his even bigger shocked ones.
“i missed you baby~” you practically mewled, desperation laced deep in your voice, all your neediness from every night of the past month compiled together and rested in your panties where his finger slowly began dragging up and down.
The way you squirmed at his unexpected action made his dick stir in his pants. God he missed you too.
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At some point he had moved you to lay beneath him on your shared bed as he hovered above you, admiring everything about you.
“wanna taste you angel..it’s been too long.”
His wish excited you and you nodded up at him eagerly. He sat up and watched with lust filled eyes as you spread your legs, skirt pooling at your legs and putting your panties on display. The wet spot he had felt before, visible to him now.
After a soft “fuck” was mumbled, he reached forward to pull your panties down your legs (with your help). The view in front of him was something he had dreamt about constantly for the past month and now here it was. All for him.
“please baby”
Your plea reached his ears and as much as he wanted to stare at you forever, taking in the sight of your wetness sticking to your thighs, dripping from his favourite place on earth, he wanted more to taste you, feel you and mostly make you feel good.
“anything for you, angel.”
He dove in, arms wrapping around your soft thighs to hold them open as he licked a stripe up your slit.
“taste just as sweet as i remember..” he groaned before wrapping his soft lips around your bud, sucking just the way he knew you loved. And he knew he was right when your hands reached down to thread through his blonde locks. Geez, when did his hair get this long you thought. Your soft whimpers made a beeline to his dick, making it painfully hard.
A strong feeling swirled through your stomach, one that you hadn’t felt in a month. The change in your voice and the tightening of your grip in his hair must have alerted him of your situation because he suddenly pulled his mouth away.
Your hands untangled from his hair and you pushed yourself to sit up on your arms, glaring at him with furrowed brows.
“it’s okay baby, i’ll give you want you want..” You looked at him questioningly as he sat up. “..but i want you to do it while i’m inside you.”
In a moment he had stripped you of your skirt, shirt and bra, taking in the sight of your body like it was the first time again. Red spread across your cheeks as you reached up to his pants, looking up at him for permission, feeling shy that you were the only one naked. After a nod and soft hand smoothing over your hair, you unbuckled his pants and helped him out of them. Them along with his shirt and boxers were discarded on the floor along with your clothes.
Before you even got a chance to look at him, his mouth and hands were on you, kissing you like you were the only source of oxygen in the room. His hands ran along your waist and breasts like he was trying to confirm you were really there after all this time and this wasn’t just another wet dream fuelled by his longing for you.
“Beautiful.” He mumbled into your mouth, voice somehow deeper than usual. He reluctantly pulled away from your mouth as he softly pushed you to lay down.
You were so needy for him, desperate to feel him after so long. He thought you looked so adorable with hands reached up to him trying to bring him closer. “want you lix..please..it’s been so long.”
And who was he to say no to you?
He positioned himself at your entrance, looking at you to see how you bit your lip and watched impatiently to feel him inside you. He pushed himself inside slowly, immediately letting out a deep groan at how tight you were.
“Fuck..” He breathed out as he bottomed out, burrowing his face in your neck to inhale your scent that he missed so deeply.
Having him inside you made you feel full in so many ways. On one hand you felt so complete and content to be with him in this way and to be able to express your undying love for each other in the most intimate way. But on the other hand, the way his length filled you completely made your walls clench and brain go empty, thinking only of him.
“Gonna move now baby.” He told you softly, moving to hover above you. He pulled himself back out to the tip, making your breath hitch, before pushing back inside you swiftly.
You moaned out softly as he developed a steady rhythm, instantly getting lost in the feeling of you.
His eyes shut as he leaned down, pressing his lips to yours, resting on his arms beside your head.
The kiss was filled with love and passion. It was just another way for Felix to express his upmost adoration for you.
He angled his hips slightly, repeatedly hitting that one spot inside you, making a string of moans be muffled by the kiss. He pulled away to look down at you, his pupils blown as he watched you lost in pleasure.
“fuck..” His deep voice growled out between groans. “.. s-so…fucking beautiful.” His words were coming out stuttered. That pressure already building inside him.
He leaned down again to press wet kisses and soft bites to the sensitive spot of your neck that always made you even weaker for him.
“baby..” You moaned out, reaching up to tangle a hand in his locks.
He hummer in your neck, his thrusts speeding up to bring more sounds of pleasure from your lips.
“That’s right baby…let me hear you.. just wanna make you feel good.” And after he said that, one of his hands snaked down your body, applying pressure to your swollen clit, causing you to tighten around him impossibly more.
“So close lixie!” Those words were such a relief to your boyfriend because he knew he couldn’t last much longer. Not when you felt this good around him and sounded this pretty below him.
The fingers on your clit, along with his thrusts sped up as he groaned out.
“B-baby!” You alerted him loudly that the coil inside of you was about to snap. But he already knew. he could tell by how your walls pulsated around him, practically squeezing his cock.
“i know angel.. i know. let go for me beautiful”
You didn’t need to be told twice as your orgasm washed over you with another loud moan. He couldn’t take it anymore either as he pushed himself inside you as deep as possible and released inside you, panting and groaning.
His hips rocked a few more times to help you both ride out your highs (and because he wasn’t ready yet to be apart from you). Only when overstimulation settled into him did he slowly pull out, instantly connecting his lips to yours as you wrapped your arms around him.
“i love you so much. you’re so perfect. i can’t be apart with you that long again.” The words poured out of him desperately between kisses, all emotions and love for you pouring through him.
“i love you too lixie.” The words were breathy as you slowly came down, smiling up at him warmly as he pulled away from you.
His eyes fell to where your mixed releases spilled from you. His heart swelled knowing he was finally connected with you again after all this time.
Your gaze moved to where his was as you giggled, sitting up on your arms. “i should probably clean myself up.” You giggled but felix shook his head, quickly and softly moving you to lay down comfortably again.
“Your not moving baby. You’re not lifting a single finger!” He declared dramatically making you giggle again. “I’ll do everything for you.” He informs before leaning down to kiss you once more.
“I’d do anything for you.”
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wangxianficfinder · 6 months
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Fic Finder
Apr 7th
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1. Would have been Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian.
After the Sunshoot campaign and for some reason Wei Wuxian is in Cloud Recess and Lan Qiren discovers that they don’t have a core. But the lan clan had a technique to fix a lost core for others that had been attacked by others that could melt their core. @nikkiwhitecraft
I was the requester for #1.
I am sure that part of the story that Wei Wuxian and Lan Q had to travel, and that was when it was discovered that Wei Wuxian had no core, and Lan Q was annoyed he never said anything and the Lan Clan had a technique to restore a core that was lost/melted as the core melting clan was known.
Thats all I remeber
NOT FOUND Righteous at a Cost by thunderwear (G, 21k, wangxian, LQR & WWX, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, no one dies, LQR finds out about WWX’s core, WWX and LQR are friends??, In My Fic?, its more likely than you think, LWJ in the bg like whats happening?, Fluff, WWX goes to Gusu, Mutual Pining, Golden Core Reveal) Might be this? LQR discovers WWX lost his core, brings him back to CR & finds a way to restore it
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2. Hey! Im looking for a fic where the jins got the tiger tally, and that they wanted to 'flood the world with vermillion light'. I remember that it was post-the first siege of the burial mounds, and WY was maybe dead? After which the other sects had to fight the Jins, and there was also something about the people wishing that WY was alive. Please help me find it! Thank you so much!
FOUND! I'm pretty sure this is the deleted "When the World Comes Crumbling Down, you Will Call my Name" by pft_a_Frog22. The archive link was https://archiveofourown.org/works/35867848.
the deleted fic for #2 can be found at the wayback machine here
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3. Hi! I’m searching for a fiction on AO3 where Wei Wuxian is a Rogue cultivator, he founds Lan Wangji floating in a river/lake and saves him. Wangji don’t remember anything due to the trauma he has suffered and his core is damaged altogether. He had a severe injury on his back but when he recovers he starts to travel with Wei Wuxian, not knowing his brother is searching for him. Because of his poor health issues he breakdown with a fever in the middle of a hunt, far from everything, during this time Lan Wangji loses consciousness, Wei Ying is visited by a strange fox spirit, really creepy whom he made a pact with to save Lan Wangji life's. In the history, Wei Ying has an uncle that reach both of them to advise something, Lan Wangji discorver to be a really powerfull fox spirit, i think they call him Huxia or something like this, Wei Ying "dies" by the venom of a fierce corpse (most like become one of them) and is ressurected by the Jade Emperor himself, the Demon subdue palace is actually a palace and Wangji's mother was the previous Huxia.
I’m going crazy cuz I remember ALL the history, but not the name of the fiction.
I appreciate the help with all my little heart. ❤️ @myukisora
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4. Hi, could you please help me find a wangxian fic? I apologize for the inconvenience, especially because i don’t remember much of the plot except select few parts of it and i dont remember if it was a thread on twitter or on ao3.
The scenes i do remember are as followed: Prior to this scene, wangxian might have had an argument or were avoiding each other because i dont think they had spoken to each other in a while. The scene i remember is WWX going to JYL’s place where everyone is gathered for a get together, wwx dotes over JL, going on about how he’s the favorite uncle. When he enters the living room, he sees LWJ on the couch, and sitting next to him is JZX half brother MXY talking to him. He thinks they are sitting a little too close and he gets a bit jealous but doesn’t say anything. I’m not sure if I remember it right, but i think people or mainly nhs kept saying how MXY resembles WWX, worsening the situation. Wangxian and their whole eye contact happens and everyone in the room is tense because of their interaction or lack their of. WWX suddenly goes to the bathroom, leaning into the sink…waiting and LWJ follows him in. They end up reconciling.
Thats all I remember, I know its not much, and i have been struggling as well because of it going through my bookmarks on ao3 and twitter. I’m hoping someone remembers this part as well and can mention the fic. Thank you!
Hi, the fic you mentioned is not the one :/ i am so sorry for the inconvenience. I can try adding more context. It’s the fic about WWX entering JYL’s party at her place and finding LWJ sitting on a couch with MXY. The scene is towards the very end so MXY’s presence is more of a cameo, he wasn’t present for the fic. WX might have a fwb situation that went wrong or it might be a lwj fucks fic. Lwj follows wwx to the br, its tense as wwx stares at him through the mirror but they both make up
NOT FOUND Talk Hard by DeviyudeThoolika (E, 161k, wangxian, LXC/JYL, JZX/WQ, JC/MM, Modern, College/University, Roommates/Housemates, rare pairs galore, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Separations, Getting Back Together, BAMF WWX, Drunk LWJ, Protective WWX, Good Parent YZY, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Cultivation Sect Politics, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending)
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5. Hi,
I’m trying to find a fanfic where instead of Jin Zixuan dying to Wen Ning at the pass it was Wei wuxian who pushed him out of the way and died instead? I’ve been trying for ages and still can find it. Thank you!
neither of these are exactly what you described, but it might be
NOT FOUND! A Butterfly Flaps, A Sword Stabs by RadAceFriend (T, 37k, JZX/JYL, JZX & WWX, JZX & LWJ, JZX & JGY, JZX & JL, Major Characted Death, JZX Lives, WWX does not, background wangxian, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Sect Leader JZX, POV JZX, Canon Divergence, the horrifying experience of killing someone you didn't like much, and finding out that you're one of the only people you know upset about it, Wen Remnants Live, LSZ is a Wen, WangXian Get a Happy Ending)
NOT FOUND! in this place where we don’t have a prayer by Cerusee, Mikkeneko (T, 42k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, WWX dies at Qiongqi path, Demonic Cultivation)
FOUND! finding you always, all ways by BlueFrogs (T, 31k, WangXian, ChengQing, Reincarnation, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Romance, Memory Loss, technically there is character death, but he comes back lol, Age Difference, due to reincarnation)
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6. Hi, hope you are having a great day! Could you, please, help find a fic, which, I think, had a wangxian arranged marriage due to growing Wen threat, but honestly cannot remember the exact premise. But there was a scene where wrh manages to get wq married to lwj as a second wife, and wwx felt like he failed the Jiang-Lan alliance. And there was a big confrontation between wq and wwx, where she tells him the reason for the marriage was to save her family. And lwj might have been ill or cursed and wearing a mask (not sure).
FOUND? The deleted "A Price to Pay" by wangxianist.
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7. Looking for help finding the name of this fic on ao3 I’m have trouble hunting it back down. Burial mounds settlement days canon divergence.
Essentially the premise is that the people living in Yiling often see Wei Ying taking care of and teaching A-Yuan by the river and a woman one day who was also there to wash her clothes asked him to look after her son while she was busy. This snowballed into Wei Ying basically running a little informal school out of Yiling where he teaches and just looks after any child that is brought there, including orphans and prostitute’s children which is kinda illegal. Lan Zhan knows and regularly visits. If the children show aptitude for cultivation they usually get sent to the Lan or (later in the story) the Jiang. The rest of the Wens kinda accidentally become a part of the Yiling community so much so that they all move out of the burial mounds and into the town proper. Because they’ve all left the mounds and disconnected pretty hard from the cultivation community they don’t even realize that the Jin’s sent people to attack the mounds. They found no one and declared to the world that they had slayed the rest of the wen dogs alongside Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng only finds out his brother is alive because he’s been informed that a small school in the Jiang territory hasn’t been paying taxes and when he goes to investigate finds Wei Ying safe and sound. @coffeehousefanfics
FOUND? Just as the Snow Melts by draechaeli (T, 66k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, SL/XXC, Everybody Lives AU, Canon Divergence)
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8. Hello, could you please help me find a fic where Lan Zhan finds a number to call Wei Ying which Help? to people at night and calls himself patriarch yilin afterwards They (wei Ying and lan Zhan) meet in the university library
FOUND? Maybe You’re the Reason by Clearpearls (E, 67k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Phone Sex, slight D/s, Secret Identity, Praise Kink, Phone Sex Operator WWX, he’s part-time though, slight internalized sexual repression, Fluff, Light Angst, Dirty Talk Orgasm Delay/Denial, Slow Burn, Sub LWJ, Bottom LWJ, Vibrators, Aftercare, Introspection)
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9. There's an au where Wangxian are like murder husbands and it has very dark themes. It's a series but I remember one of the fics in it had a scene where a woman tries to get their attention so the other cuts off her body parts or something like that? Would you be able to help me find it?
FOUND? So Full Of Love (Wouldn't Know Where to Start) by witchupbitch (M, 63k, wangxian, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Possessive LWJ, Protective LWJ, Blood and Violence, Killing, Idiots in Love, Humor, Mafia AU, Modern, Flirting, shameless WWX, Confident WWX, Explicit Language, Swearing, Mutual Sexual Tension, dark LWJ, Dark WWX, They're both twisted, Exhibitionism, Sex, Possessive Behavior, Unhealthy Relationships, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings)
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10. Hey!!! Love your work!
Do you know of a fic where jiang cheng's younger self sort of takes over his future self for some while before going back and this repeats for some time? I remember a young jiang cheng talking to older wwx. Older wwx doesn't believe that it's really the younger jc so he asks him to ask about why wwx dislikes dogs (i think). Young jc asks young wwx and it's because www had a pet dog named 'doggie' who had turned on him during the winter. Sorry that's all I can remember
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11. Hi, I dunno if my ask got lost in the mail but i was looking for a fic that had a line "lan wangji was a musician, he know how to make his hands do different things" in reference to one hand jackin wwx off and the other up his ass. if this sounds familiar lemme know please
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12. Hi! I really am looking for this story in AO3 and still can't find it. It was about Wei Wuxian who got married to Wen Chao but Lan Zhan couldn't take it so he plans to take Wei Wuxian back by claiming Wei Wuxian each time he got (even in the wedding night of WWX and WC) and destroying the company of the Wens. As they (LWJ & WWX) continued the deed, WWX ended up pregnant and LWJ is more than determined to take WWX back. I do hope you can help me find this story. Thank you in advance!😘
FOUND? 姻緣 | this marriage was always predestined by saccharinings (E, 43k, wangxian, Cheating, Infidelity, not between wangxian, WWX is married and LWJ persuades him to cheat on his husband with him, Dark LWJ, A/B/O, Feminizing Language, Exhibitionism, Size Difference, WagnXian Have a Breeding Kink, Stomach Bulge, Possessive LWJ, Manipulation, WWX Wears Lingerie, Rape/Non-con Elements, for one part, Hair-pulling Kink, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Mirror Sex, Vibrators, Phone Sex, Rimming, Edgeplay, slight choking kink, Light Bondage, Inappropriate Use of Gūsū Lán Forehead Ribbon, LJY's Big Fat Crush on Milfxian, Pregnant WWX, WangXian Endgame, Spanish Translation)
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13. Hello! I've been trying to find a fic I lost on AO3 for a few days now so hopefully you can help 💚💚
It was canon-verse but an AU where lwj and wwx hadn't met and wwx was still the Yiling Patriarch. Someone has an idea to give wwx a "bride" and wwx picks lwj and he goes to live at the burial grounds with wwx and the wens. At some point lwj gets stabbed and almost dies and wwx reveals he picked lwj because he assumed lwj would be in on some kind of plan to spy on/hurt wwx and the wens but lwj wasnt a part of that at all. It had a happy ending but i cant remember exactly what it was. Pls help 🥺 i want it in my bookmarks soooo bad
FOUND? 💖🔒 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it's gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn't begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27)
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14. For the next fox finder
Pls help me find this fic where wwx and lwj are night hunting and wwx gets hurt badly lwj makes a deal with a spirit/god but in exchange to save wwx he will lose his love/ emotions (he only acts on what’s needed not on the things he like or is want)
Wwx ofc suffers because of this but is able to re awake lwj love after 3 years while he’s playing wangxian (( he has already lost hope lwj would recover his emotions))
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15. hi! im looking for a post canon fic where jc sends a letter to cloud recesses saying that gusu lan owes him a debt since wwx married into the lan. lwj responds very angrily. it wasnt jc friendly and at the end of the fic, wwx finds a bitter letter from jc who dies alone. wwx and lwj live longer and happier lives. id love it if you could find it, thank you!
FOUND! The Price of a Golden Core by AshayaTReldai (M, 9k, wangxian, LXC & WWX, WWX & JC, Major Character Death, Angst, Tension, Aggression, JC pays the price for his choices, demanding letters, JC is a Brat, Supportive Lan Brothers, WWX deserves the best, Life Debt, Sad Ending, Sad Ending for JC)
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16. Hi! So, I’m looking for an AO3 fic, Lán Zhan/Wei Ying, that I read what feels like years ago and I can’t find it again. I remember it is a bit of a dark lan zhan or dark cloud recess fic, with Wei Ying being brought to this ‘hunt’ type thing with a group of people. I believe all the people brought are given Lán Zhans scent, so that he may track them. I also believe that it’s not expected that the participants will survive, and they’re being offered a reward if they do. Please help me find it! @diabolic17
FOUND? 🔒 Five Fifteen by 3neetee (M, 11k, wangxian, rape/non-con, modern, ABO, alpha LWJ, omega WWX, mating runs, graphic depictions of violence, dom/sub undertones, light bondage, rape/non-con elements, dark LWJ, betrayal)
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17. Hey mods! 💜
I’m pretty sure I found this fic on here but now I can’t seem to find it. I’m not sure if it was on a itmf or fic finder. But it’s the one where wwx takes a curse from some ghost in order for her to move on. It’s a curse where he can’t see or feel anyone that feels “strongly” about him. He assumes the juniors all either hate or fear him and I forgot what he assumed lwj. They say to break the curse he has to accept the others’ feelings. So he tried to accept the fact that jin ling hated him although jin ling did not mean what he said and was confused at how wwx reacted. I think lan jinyi was the one who figured out wwx couldn’t see them because he launched at him as if he was going to attack him and wwx didn’t flinch. In the end he starts seeing and feeling impressions of them until he can see them in full again. Please help? I’ve been through my history and bookmarks and all open tabs of ao3. No such luck.
Thanks for all that you do! @jikcf
FOUND! See Me, Feel Me (Listening to You) by Ghost_Honey (T, 29k, WangXian, POV WWX, WWX Needs a Hug, WWX’s Abyssmal Self-Esteem, Emotional Healing, Angst, The Juniors love their Senior Wei, Curses, WWX is an Unreliable Narrator, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Cuddling)
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18. Hi! I’m searching for a fic that I’m pretty sure was a threadfic on twitter... It was foxian and dragonji, and LWJ came across WWX while he was in heat in a cave and they mated. WWX went back to Lotus Pier not knowing who he’d been with only to find himself pregnant. He has hybrid babies and LWJ eventually tracks him down and he turns out to be a prince or something? WWX goes to visit Cloud Recesses, still unsure about LWJ. There was also a scene when one of the babies gets snatched by an eagle or some other bird and LWJ saves them? I think that’s as far as I got, as it was a WIP at the time and I lost track of it. Thank you!
FOUND? Twitter thread by cerbykerby (wangxian, cw: dubcon, mpreg, memory loss)
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19. Hello! Hope you're well! I've been looking for a fic like crazy and have not been able to find it, so hopefully you know it? It's a fic where instead of nie mingjue dying, nie huisang dies as a result of jgy and nmj attacks the cloud recesses because he blames Lan xichen in part due to him defending jgy. Please help me find this if you can. Thank you in advance!!! 🫶🙏🏼 @cherryblossom8
FOUND! Digging Graves by nirejseki (Not rated, 13k, NHS & NMJ, WWX & XY, wangxian, Revenge, Broken Moral System, Non-Graphic Violence, the masterless sabers)
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20. Pls there was this one fic in ao3 , I was so looking forward to it but I lost it 😭😭😭I don’t know much about it but the summary was smth like Wwx getting pregnant and being in an island?? Shizui grows up and smth please 😭
FOUND? The Winner Takes It All by YilingSani (M, 46k, WangXian, Modern AU, Single Parent WWX, Old Friends, One Night Stands, No Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Forgiveness, Second Chances, Inspired by Mamma Mia! (Movies) Teen Pregnancy, Mpreg, mention of miscarriage, Birth Trauma, amniotic fluid embolism)
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92 notes · View notes
cleolinda · 1 year
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My sister noticed
Previously on: I grew up in a haunted house and I didn't notice: So I told you a story about how a Count Chocula used to creep behind me at night when I was a child, and I described my very weird childhood home to you. I told you how my sister had Something Dark living in her bedroom, and I told you about the time she and I compared notes and realized that we also had the ghost of a young woman in the house. Maybe.
I asked my sister to read over the draft for me, maybe gather up the fortitude to fill in some details, and she texted back, "Oh, I'll tell you anything you want. But that’s not how it happened."
I am willing to believe her version for two reasons:
1) My memory has been shit after having covid umpteen thousand times.
2) I actually remember her version of the conversation we had, now that it's in front of me.
I also remember my version, is the thing—the one where I told her about Rebecca when we were younger. And that raises some questions about how independent, how uncompromised, our experiences were. But I think those questions are themselves the story. Can I trust my memory at all? I had such bad brain fog the first time I had covid that I could not remember how to scramble eggs. A lot of things are just mist to me now. There's what I remember and there's what actually happened, but what do I even remember? And that's before you even get into the idea that we're talking about ghosts we "felt" in the house. We saw no apparitions, no shadows, no odd movements.
This is not a story where I'm asking you to believe me.
There are things you experience, and things that happen. An example from the winter of 2016:
What I experienced was standing out on our deck one night and looking up at the stars. They were moving in a slight swirl motion, not unlike the painting Starry Night. I turned to my mom and said, "Well, the stars are moving, so if the world ends or something any time soon, here's our first sign." She stared at me.
What happened was, our upstairs heating unit had a leak, and I sustained mild carbon monoxide poisoning. (I like rooms to be cool, so I had used the heater less than most people would, at least.) This was only discovered during a routine furnace check, after my vision had been a little weird and I had been deeply fatigued for two or three months. I have had a CO monitor upstairs ever since.
Did I see the stars swirling? Yes. Were they? No. That's the distinction I want you to make while I tell you all this. Did my sister and I experience things? Yes. Do I know what happened? No.
So what I agree happened was, we were having Grownup Sunday Family Dinner a few years back, maybe 2019 or so. I had been really into Buzzfeed Unsolved, which later evolved into Watcher Entertainment, but my sister was refusing to watch any of it. She's a big fan now, but she only started watching the guys last year. Yesterday, we tried to piece this back together via text.
My sister ["MS" from here on out]: Like I feel like off and on for years you mentioned [Shane and Ryan's shows] and I refused
MS: And one day my argument was to talk about our own house
Me [let's go with Cleolinda Jones, "CJ"]: You said you felt like fake ghost shows were disrespectful to people who actually experienced [hauntings].
MS: YES I FEEL LIKE THAT WAS THE CONVO
I love paranormal investigation shows, whether they're patently fake or not, as long as I enjoy the people investigating, so I couldn't understand why they personally offended her. Pulling at this thread back in 2019 is how the the whole ghost story started coming out.
CJ: And I was like, okay, but here’s one show where they get, like, nothing, but I can promise you that it's real
(Because the Unsolved/Watcher shows pair a believer with an actual skeptic who still, lo these many years later, does not believe in any of it. I truly believe Shane and Ryan would not stage "evidence," for that reason. Shane makes fun of ghosts and people who believe in them, but he's honest about it, and my sister likes that.)
At this point, we go back to the first version of the story that I posted: my sister had told me that Something had lived in the Four Closets Bedroom with her when she was a preteen/early teenager. It felt very dark, very bad, and she had not told anyone else about it until that dinner. The way I relayed it to you, Dear Reader, was that she hadn't wanted to go into detail, and I wasn't sure what it looked like, or if it "lived" in the little witch closet, or what. That night at dinner, I had gone on to tell her that, you know, now that you mention it, I did feel like something used to follow me up there at night. And this was when "My sister started crying. Like just staring at me in wide-eyed horror, her eyes filling with tears" had come in.
1. Something Dark
CJ: So you were telling me about our house being haunted. Something in your room. How would you describe it?
MS: I think it more lived in the attic
(our pal the dark fucked-up attic room)
MS: but would roam the entire floor so I felt it in the peach room [my (Cleo's) old bedroom and then later, my sister's] but more so in [the Four Closets Bedroom] as it was closer to the attic
MS: The best way I can describe it is just never feeling like I was alone. Feeling like something was always behind me. But I refused to turn around to look. It felt like a darkness that almost oozed behind you in a way that was almost suffocating.
CJ: What I find interesting is that we both describe it as Just Feelings, and never feeling alone.
My sister texted me at this point that she used to sense Something upstairs whether it was day or night; "even in the day, it didn't feel safe." But night was worse.
MS: There was one night in 3rd grade when I was reading and had like my first panic attack because I was newer to living upstairs and I felt it come in the room at night for the first time
MS: I also used to feel compelled to keep the AC running all night like it was never cold enough.
Here's the weird thing: when we moved to the house where I currently live and our rooms were on the same floor, we always fought over the thermostat. My sister hated her bedroom being too cool, whereas I get hot. I remember one night, we were arguing over it, and she was weirdly on the verge of tears: "Why do you have to have it so cold?" In 2023, my sister texted me at this point that she didn't want our childhood home to be cold; it was like the thing wanted that temperature, even if she hated it.
You often hear that ghosts make rooms cold, that's a big ghost hunter show thing—but whatever was up there couldn't lower the temperature on its own?
CJ: "If you can’t make it cold yourself, storebought is fine"
CJ: And you don’t have a visual impression of it, I’m not just blowing past that?
MS: I refused. REFUSED to look. Ever. For any reason.
CJ: I did too, so that’s interesting
CJ: I describe it as a Count Chocula, which should tell you how much it didn’t bother me. Which I find weird
(Truly, there is a reason I titled that post "I grew up in a haunted house and I didn't notice.")
MS: I can’t tell if it was truly terrifying. Or if the amount of data I was getting from it was just so overwhelming that that alone was terrifying to a child. I wish I could answer that now.
CJ: Yeah, in some way I think we’re saying the same thing. I was seven years old and I couldn’t comprehend what it was, either, so I just imagined a silly vampire
CJ: like I can’t overstate how cartoonish it seemed to me at the time, while still being very DON’T LOOK BACK
Part of the problem, she added, was that she felt compelled to go turn down the air conditioning... and the thermostat was next to the (carpeted. shag carpeted) bathroom. And then she had to race back to her bedroom... the same way I used to, as quick as she could.
MS: I also felt like I could NOT run. Like the way you shouldn’t run away from a mountain lion. It would create the need for it to chase me.
MS: What is so strange is that [learning about paranormal investigation] has not changed my perception of my experience in the slightest. Whether that’s the reality or not. It is still something I find dark and terrifying.
CJ: I think you would answer this differently now than you did then: what do you think it was?
We discussed this by text for a while. I mentioned being intrigued that Something Dark wanted to be cold (but apparently was not able to make the room cold). My sister—having agreed to be quoted here—said, "I kinda hope to avoid someone being like 'you had a demon in your house,'" as she doesn't really feel like that's what it was. Her gut feeling (and, bear in mind, we are working off nothing but feelings here) is that it was a spirit or ghost: something formerly human. We agree that it seemed male in some way (again: a Chocula).
And you're probably thinking, This is total bullshit. And it probably is! I'm not claiming any of this to be real evidence! I just find it interesting that we somehow came up with the same bullshit.
CJ: It just fascinates me that I did not experience 90% of this, and yet I got a strong enough whiff of it that I’m like, yeah, I can see it
But what about the female presence, the one I went off to color with in the middle of the night?
2. Rebecca
MS: I didn’t find out you had done the ouija board until we were adults. You didn’t tell me when we were kids
MS: That’s why I was SO shocked when we talked at the dinner table.
See, I was convinced that I had told her about my ouija adventures when I was a teenager, and "What about Rebecca??" flowed really well in the first post. That conversation was already a bit fictionalized in order to condense it from what I remembered—that's how memoirs work, really, unless you have actual transcripts of your life and room to include them. You're telling a story. I thought I was telling a condensed version of a true story. And yet, I do remember how shocked my sister was at dinner that night. And she would have only been seven or eight when I was messing around with that shit. Those two things do support the idea that I wouldn't have told her.
MS: You did tell me skeletons lived in my closet tho
I told you I was kind of a shit.
CJ: when I told you about Rebecca, what was your reaction?
MS: That’s when I went white. Bc I realized we had had a similar experience and I wasn’t just crazy
CJ: The thing is, I WOULD HAVE SWORN I had told you about Rebecca when we were younger
MS: If you did you didn’t name her and that’s why it was nuts when I realized 2 decades later we pulled the same name and we both remembered it.
We did it again, too—I posted briefly about putting this whole saga together, and how my sister asked me to give the ghost a pseudonym (ghosts deserve privacy too). And in trying to think of a good replacement, we both came up with "Rebecca."
CJ: so how did you know the [original] name?
MS: Ouija board with [best friend, redacted] in the playroom when I was like 13. She cried the whole time. We both thought the other was moving [the planchette].
You'll remember the weird, windowless, sky-blue playroom with the scary door from the previous post.
MS: But she was crying so she wouldn’t have been. And I would have never pulled out the name [Not Actually Rebecca]
MS: There was part of me that wonders if I did it but I would have NEVER chosen Rebecca
CJ: So did I bring Rebecca up first in this conversation [at dinner in 2019], or did you? I did?
MS: You said it first. I would have never [told you first] cuz I would have thought you were placating me. Like I’d never really know if you weren’t just agreeing with me
And that's when my sister had "stared at me, saucer-eyed, pale. Like I'm not sure I had ever seen anyone 'go white' until that moment." And I had told her about getting up at midnight and going to color in the weird playroom, and someone else being in there with me, no big deal.
After all this discussion, we do think that Rebecca was briefly my "imaginary friend," but our mom told me to stop talking about that. Not because our mom was spooked, but because she felt like it was rude for me to talk about someone I was presumably making up in front of company. So that stopped. Thinking back on it, I just felt like someone was sitting next to me on the couch. I didn't feel anyone next to me; when I looked, I felt like I could see where... someone was not? The space that someone invisible was taking up? It felt like something reasonably friendly. "Chill" is the word I keep using. Not super eager or possessive, just like a girl who was a bit older, maybe a teenager, a babysitter age, who liked me well enough. There was some dark shit in the attic, apparently—it did feel very oppressive in there—but I would get a sense that a metaphorical desk lamp had been turned on. A presence that stayed back, relaxed, but emanated "hey, I'm here."
What my sister and I agreed on was that we remembered how these "feelings" were both vague and memorable. I can't remember events or chronology accurately, but I remember the actual sensations and presences very, very clearly. They resist reinterpretation. I can't sit here and say, "Oh, Rebecca was totally a guardian angel, I see that now." The Something Dark sounds functionally demonic, but my sister doesn't feel like that's accurate. (If anything, she gets a sense that this could have been a malicious uncle—not father—of some kind to Rebecca, if the two beings were related: particular in their vagueness.) These two presences just... were. My sister says she primarily sensed Rebecca outdoors in our backyard, when we were pretending (were we?) to play with fairies. I didn't sense Rebecca there—but then, I wasn't aware that what I sensed was a someone, not for another thirty years or so. My oblivious ass was up at midnight filling in my She-Ra coloring book with a ghost like, "Yeah, I'm alone in the dark for no reason, this is normal." It's only in retrospect that I recognize atmospheric feelings as things that actually took up space, and I don't know how I didn't see it at the time. I can't explain that, and I can't ask you to believe it. All I know is that my sister still feels very traumatized by her experience of it—and I can't explain why I don't.
I think one of the reasons paranormal investigation shows don't scare me a whole lot is because so much of the "evidence" is random knocks and creaks and movements and vibes, and I'm like, yeah, I've lived in two houses now like that. The door of my current bedroom opens and closes on its own all the time. It's probably a draft from the ventilation system (which does not have CO leaks anymore) (probably). I've seen something at this house that a lot of people might call a shadow person, but I was probably imagining it. So many of these ghost shows just have things that I grew up with and didn't even think a whole lot of at the time; I seem to be protected by a +3 Sphere of Sure, That's Fine. Is my current house also haunted? I honestly don't know. Would I notice if it was?
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darkbluekies · 3 months
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i wanna start writing so bad but idk where to start do u have any tips??
Okay, so this is more of a general in depth guide for a little of everything, if you don't find anything useful in this please let me know and I will try again <3 This is more for lenghty novels (which are my main writing thing) than tumblr posts, but i think that some things here could be used for tumblr too so i'm just spewing every kind of advice i have
Before writing
If you don't have an existing idea, watching movies, series and even music videos can help bring out ideas. Watch some that you like and maybe write down some moments you liked. You can always take inspiration from existing things as long as you make it your own and not copy them.
Everyone says "read more" to develop your vocabulary and I didn't really believe it, but i notice how I feel more confident in my writing after reading someone elses work. It helps you with seeing scenes from other perspective thanks to how someone else would describe a scene. I also created a document where i write down phrases and words that I'd like to remember and use for myself when I can't come up with my own words. It can look like this!
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I have always had an easy time for creating stories with a red thread,. But if you need a little help planning out your story, where things should go and when to add what, models like 'Save the cat' could be beneficial. My advice, though, is to not follow it blindly because it can result in a mass procuced feeling since it can become predictable! But I feel that it can be good to have the story somewhat planned out from the start. You don't need to know everything, but just having an overlook where you want to take it is a good thing.
When it comes to characters, try to make them have different characteristics and don't be afriad to give them traits that makes them bad. There are multiple things I don't agree with when it comes to my characters views, actions or reactions, but it makes them human and that's the best thing you can do for your characters, to make them human, real, believable.
Pinterest boards are fun and easy to keep track of the vibe of your story. It helps you save pictures of characters, their clothes, their houses, everything. I have one for every of my books, here are some ideas!
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Writing
My biggest advice (that i honestly should take too) is that your first version of something NEVER has to be good. Hell, you don't even have to like it, just get it done so that you have something to go off of when you remake it! You should have fun when you write. Sounds cheesy, but it's very true. If you feel that the story is draining you more than exciting you, leave it. You might come back to it in the future, but for now it's better to leave it and start over!
I have heard a tip that I haven't tried, but when I think about it, it makes sense. Someone suggested to take a book and copy it, word for word, into a document for yourself. That way, you learn to write sentences and build a story. Haven't tried it, but maybe worth giving it a shot? :)
Synonyms are your best friend!! Don't repeat yourself too much. And, instead of saying for example "she walks very slowly, not wanting to reach the meeting" you could say "she forced her legs to move despite the heavy feeling in her chest", because it makes the reader's brain puzzle together what the character is thinking!
I'll round it off before I start to spiral lol. I hope that this was somewhat helpful. I'm rarely asked about these kinds of things so when I am it all flows out without structure! :,)<3
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iirc I think you said you don’t like Trey and Malleus’s hair but somehow excuse Rollo’s hair 😨 so where does everyone else stand if you were judging them based only on physical appearance?
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Disclaimers: I'm not including any Yuus (like, from the manga), mob students, reused assets (ie ghosts and pixies), or characters that we've only gotten the silhouettes for (that means no Mrs. Rosehearts, no Farena/Falena, no Zigvolt parents, etc.). I am only giving my thoughts on the looks of named characters with fully realized designs. If there is a significant variation of their hairstyle I like, I'll make note of it. Additionally, I will be commenting on general style rather than on individual outfits. This also involves official in-game artwork only; it is NOT inclusive of merch artwork or fan art since those can vary widely.
These are my opinions, please don't take them too seriously. I think all the designs work as is to convey the background and personality of each character, but everyone will have different tastes and preferences in terms of visual design; these are just mine! (And remember, just because I may like how a character looks doesn’t mean I like the character overall!!)
***PLEASE NOTE: This post contains spoilers for the main story and events that have yet to be released in EN!!***
Pretty
Jade - I'll admit that it took me a while to get used to his haircut (I typically don't go for the super short bangs), but it grew on me! I really like his face in particular; it can be very calm and pleasant but also mischievous and sinister. When he's angry or upset, it's much more subtle and hard to read in his face. That's something I can really appreciate. It all works very well with his neat, tidy, and unassuming appearance.
Jamil, Najma - THE VIPER FAMILY HAS SUCH GOOD GENES, just look at their luscious hair and mysterious, dark eyes... They dress so well too, I love all the hair accessories and flowy fabrics the Viper siblings have.
Meleanor - Malleus's mom has got it goin' on 🙃 She really kills the warrior princess look! Very imposing, yet elegant. I can totally understand why Lilia used to crush on her.
Fellow - Not usually a fan of gingers (and nor do I simp for fox man), but there's just something so charming about Fellow's face. I think it's the eyes and his self-assured, fun-loving smile. His outfit's snazzy and he makes it work so well! I especially like the cravat, spats, and the cape hanging off one shoulder.
Cool
Leona - OKAY FINE I'LL ADMIT HE'S HANDSOME, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW????? 😭 As much as I want to wrestle Leona, I have to admit that he has a very striking face (especially when he smirks) and powerful presence. He knows how to command a room (and he’s just about the threshold of muscle I’m willing to accept). I'm not really into hair past shoulder length or how he usually dresses, but what I think is the coolest about him are his eyes. It feels like they'll follow you everywhere. Ponytail Leona is the best Leona, in my opinion.
Ortho - I was debating between putting Ortho in "Cool" or "Cute", but ultimately went with "Cool" because he by far has the most unique look of the entire cast. I love learning about his different Gears and their functions, each one different than the last. I don't find the pale skin and blue hair as off-putting on Ortho as I do on Idia, and I think that's because Ortho's more child-like.
Crowley - His aesthetic is nice! I find the bird mask really goofy and his hair a literal rat's nest (DON'T @ ME, IT LOOKS LIKE LIMP SEAWEED), but his suit and cape are so dapper! All the keys and mirrors would look gaudy on any other character, but they fit so well for Crowley. The extra shiny details give him an air of mystery, like threads of light peeking through the dark.
Trein- Trein's robes and cravat make him look so classy and regal! The colors also remind me of Edgeworth from Ace Attorney-- He looks very stern at first glance, but when he gives his little smiles you can tell how much he really cares.
Sam - He's way overdressed for running an on-campus school general store but hey, it works for him. There's lots of little details I enjoy in his design, from the stitching on his top hat to the locs he sports.
Cute
Lucius, Grim - LIL' KITTY CATS 🥺 I especially think Grim is adorable whenever he gets a new themed bow or a whole ass outfit like in the Halloween events!
Chenya - His haircut is so uneven but I commend his style. Chenya's look isn't too busy; his jewelry and decorative patches are spread out so they don't crowd for your attention. Gotta love those callbacks to Alice in Wonderland! This might sound weird, but there's power in his plain white shirt half-buttoned and loosely tucked into his pants; it gives the right amount of casualness to feel "accidentally stylish". There's also just something really whimsical about how cat-like his facial expressions and gestures are. It's quite endearing!
Ruggie - His hair looks perfect for ruffling! The fact that he often dresses in hand-me-downs and Leona's oversized clothing makes him appear "small" and even cuter. Pair that with Ruggie's crooked little smile, and it's perfect. I like that his build is lankier than those of the other Savanaclaw students; it makes him appear less intimidating on an initial evaluation.
Cheka - Have you SEEN Cheka?????? How does your heart not melt at the sight of him 😭 I adore his little :3 face and how he shines when he's innocently asking Ojitan to hang out with him...
Floyd - I feel like I kind of have to put Floyd in "Cute" since he's Jade's twin. Floyd just places lower because I find his eye shape less cute and his personal style doesn't really align with my tastes.
Kalim - This type of hair isn't usually my jam, but Kalim dresses it up well with a headband/scarf (?) and jewerly. When he moves, I imagine that the jewelry is jingling its own song. Kalim always seems to be smiling, so just looking at him puts me in a good mood too. His fashion choices tend to be extravagant and not very viable for everyday wear, but it's fine as long as Jamil stops him from making impulsive decisions.
Rook - I actually don't like his bob (I prefer it in an awkward little ponytail), but his face--especially the mouth--is beautiful. I BEG OF YOU, LOOK AT HIS CEREMONIAL ROBES GROOVY. Rook can be so expressive, it's like he's a one-man play. Alas... He looks naked without a hat :(( but I appreciate the mystery of covering up his limbs for the most part so we can’t see how truly muscular he is.
Lilia - Peepaw really stands out from the rest of Diasomnia; he doesn't come off as scary right away, he just relished in how adorable he is and is confident in that. Lilia's shorter stature and more experimental style certainly plays into that uniqueness too. It's fun to see what he comes up with! I especially love that he wears more traditionally feminine things like tulle skirts and gathered fabrics, and even dyes his hair and paints his nails in various colors. The cut itself is a bit of a clusterfuck when I first saw it, but I've really grown fond of it over time. It's such a bright expression of who Lilia is. I can't say if I prefer his long ponytail or the shorter trim; both are good!
Sebek - Like Jade, Sebek is also very well-put together. I like him with both his hair up and down; each has its unique appeal! With his hair up, Sebek appears much fiercer. With his hair down, he reminds me more of a puppy drenched from the rain. I feel like even though his face can be menacing, his smile overpowers how scary he can be. It feels so pure, clashing with his usual attitude... (His pathetic/sad expressions are also cute, but don't let him know I said that.)
Marja - Sweet granny... She looks so kind and cozy, I just wanna give her a hug.
Rollo - I’m a bowl cut apologist, what of it 😭 I like how he's so straight-laced and proper in his dress. It goes together with his face very well. Moreover, the dark eye bags and pinched, stern mouth only add to his charm. Rollo can go from neutral to devious smirk to a flash of anger--it's so interesting to observe how his face contorts.
Gidel - He looks like a mix of Ruggie and Cheka, so by default Gidel goes in "Cute". His oversized sleeves, patchwork pants, and mismatched socks give him such character!
Dylla - ANOTHER ATTRACTIVE MOM!!! Her clothing is more on the tomboyish side, but she still wears them well. Dylla's face in particular is really stunning; I get a mature big sis vibe from her.
Mid
Ace, Deuce- The most generic hair styles of the entire cast. I don’t have much else to remark on. What I will say is that I prefer Deuce’s hair slicked back (which happens in a lot of gan arts) more than his standard hair.
Azul - I don't know how else to say this, but I think Azul is handsome but in heavily regulated manner... to the point where it doesn't feel natural?? Like yes, he obviously cares about his appearance, it just feels "too" controlled of a narrative to me. The same goes for his smiles. Like Eliza says, he does it too much, so it feels fake.
Crewel - His hair and mostly monochromatic color scheme with splashes of crimson is cool, but I'm not into his clothing. It's very jarring to see his hair and vest color blocked, and I don't find his big flashy fur coat appealing.
Neige - He's wearing such an ugly sweater, but the innocence of his face evens things out. I find Neige cute in that generically sweet way, and for that I cannot place him higher than "Mid".
Epel- Same "generically sweet" cuteness as Neige. I do like his colors though.
Silver - Also has very generic hair. Silver just looks like Some Guy to me (although I will say his lopsided smile is cute). I’m slightly put off by the super muscular arms in his PE uniform too.
Eliza - I think Eliza could be a lot more appealing if they hadn't presented her to us in such a different style. Like the generic ghost NPCs, she's drawn more like a western cartoon rather than like an anime so she feels "off" from the rest of the named cast. Because there isn't unity between her and the characters she is shown with, Eliza sticks out like a sore thumb. I gotta hand it to her though, she still slays in that tattered wedding dress.
Fairy Queen - Love how the buns in her hair resemble roses, and how her entire body looks like it's golden and glowing from within. I wish her dress was more detailed though, more fitting for a queen.
Don't Like, but Could be Worse
Riddle - ROACH ANTENNAE........ . .. ... . . .... . ...... . .. . . . .. .... . .. Oh, and he looks so funky when he gets all red in the face.
Vil - For as much as we're told he's beautiful, I don't find Vil's brand of beauty to be digestible. He comes off too strongly, if that makes sense??? 20 cm heels, face beat to the gods with makeup, carrying himself at all times like there's a camera pointed at him and he has to pose 24/7 (look at most of his groovies)... It's hard for me to get behind that, it feels too overwhelming.
Eric Venue - My guy has the same sort of severe-ish facial structure as his son. Also not a fan of facial hair.
Seven Dwarves - I find most of the dwarves way too cartoonish, and not in a cute way. I think the only design I genuinely find okayish is Timmy (the timid dwarf).
Ambrose - He's an older gentleman in his wizard Halloween costume. I find his design sort of... generic??? But I'm knocking him down a little because I also find his overall appearance to be goofy and unflattering.
Idia - I DON'T CARE WHAT THE MAGICAL ARCHIVES OR ELIZA SAY, MAN LOOKS LIKE A WALKING CORPSE AND THAT AIN'T CUTE 😭
Shroud parents - Cool helmets, but I wish we actually got to see their faces.
Baul - I find Sebek's hair color more pleasing to the eye. Baul has a lot of other elements that Sebek doesn't (due to Baul being full fae and Sebek being half), and I find that they overcomplicate his design. It's hard for me to focus on his face because there's just so much to take in, from the scaley beard and more voluminous hair to the fangs and pointed ears.
Dawn Knight - This is the "bro, can I copy your homework" / "sure, but be sure to change it a little so the teacher doesn't notice" meme. I wish the Dawn Knight wasn't just long-haired, recolored Silver (with the exact same voice actor too). I would place the Dawn Knight in "Mid", but that armor is not doing him any favors. It's way too excessive with all the wings.
Kifaji - The big brows and the really long goatee make me go "???"
Actively Dislike
Trey - His hair reminds me of a freshly mowed lawn. Trey's design is otherwise inoffensive to me, but that hair color and cut are bringing him down so much. The only memorable thing about how he presents are those rare moments when he whips out his one brow raised smirks, and even then I think he looks slightly silly and it's hard to take him seriously.
Cater - Again, it's the hair for me. I like it better when it's all down (like in his Club Wear card). In his usual hairdo, there's a middle segment that's weirdly pulled back from the rest of his face in a... scruffy ponytail??? That really bothers me. I don't vibe with his usual style of dress or how he presents himself either, it's a bit too... lax?? (I know I said the same thing about Floyd, but he looks similar to Jade and therefore gets a pass).
BURN WITH FIRE
Jack - He commits the sin of having a confusingly styled mullet and has a muscular physique which don't bode well for my tastes. I guess he does have those "looks intimidating, but is actually a softie at heart" vibes going for him, but I just cannot look past the haircut I'M SORRY.
Malleus - I'm not into super pale emo/goth guys, and Malleus somehow presents as even more of that than Idia. He dresses in mostly black (and while there is a lore reason for this, that doesn't make me like the color any more or less), has a sort of mopey face (I guess it's supposed to be elegant, but I don't perceive it as that), and dear god that haircut and the ashy grey lips… It doesn’t help that the expressions he makes (particularly on his birthday cards) give really strong “are u lost bby ghorl” energy and that weirds me out 💀 So many things about him just don't work for me.
Vargas - Too muscular. Also not a fan of facial hair or athletic wear. Vargas doesn't seem to have a very keen fashion sense either, judging by the outfits he put together for his camp events.
Heinrich - His face is very grotesque and twists into making some of the most comedically evil and smug expressions I've ever witnessed in all of TWST.
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hidefdoritos · 6 months
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Galaxy Print Knee Patches
I've just spent two hours locked in mortal combat with my machine, but I emerge victorious with awesomer pants!
Yep, we're working on the same tac pants as always. I have two other pairs of solid black pants, so I can confidently decorate these to match my primarily black-and-blue wardrobe.
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Step one was cutting two 9-by-9 patches. (I thought about doing cool hexagons for about 30 seconds and then couldn't decide which way to orient them, so no.) I did my usual trick of putting cardboard in the leg of the pants. Then I folded the edges under slightly and pinned down all around. (Retrospect: Since I didn't iron those folds, I should've used more pins. They kept trying to unfold as I sewed.)
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Step two was finding this bobbin of variegated purple thread from my grandma. Rather than hand-winding it onto a spool, I just put it on the machine. Seemed to work!
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Step three was realizing this was gonna be difficult. The knee parts of the pants are already two layers thick, and I'm adding another folded layer on top of them. Plus, wrestling the heavy pants under the machine. Eliza has a lovely feature where the bottom comes apart to help you get into sleeves and such, but cramming this fabric in was still a pain.
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The above photos are called "Why I'm not a quilter." Also, they show how much trouble Eliza was having with the fabric. The stitch lengths are uneven, I kept hitting pins, and every time I stopped and started, she pulled to one side or the other. On the very first seam, in the first photo, I tried to turn around and do a second row of topstitching, but it came up so uneven that I quit immediately and unpicked it.
Also, she's had this worsening problem where, when I finish a seam, I can't pull the fabric away without turning the top tension back to 0, or the thread will just break. This necessitates remembering to put the tension back to 4. Remember that.
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Of course, it wouldn't be a proper sewing project if I didn't sew the pant leg shut on the final corner. So I pulled it off the machine, unpicked it, and went back over it again.
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And forgot to reset the tension to 4! Just look at that mess on the back.
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I clipped the loops and just sewed it all down again in eagerness to be done. It's a tad noticeable, but I don't care. It's done!
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And here's the end result!
Would it be neater by hand? Probably! Is Eliza due for a spa day at the repair shop? Yes! And am I thrilled with the end result?
ABSOLUTELY!
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onnoffwrites · 1 year
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I have been losing my shit over this damn panel for the past THREE DAYS (more or less) and I need to yell somewhere so it's gonna go here.
It all began when I was writing my fic (I think this was for My Immortal), and I needed to recap significant hakukai moments. And I remembered "hey, I should include this one thing saguru said during sunset manor that was stupidly super gay for no fucking reason" bc like, yea hakukai not canon, but if canon was gonna give me a whole ass confession then I might as well use it. So, like always, I head to mangadex to look for this panel... Except... It's not there... The line... The line's not there... But I remember... I remember something about "the only one to disrupt/disturb my thinking/mind"... Where... I didn't imagine that right? I mean I read a lot of google translated Chinese fanfics but... I REMEMBERED reading that line... In a manga... In English... ON mangadex...
This is where I should mentioned, that if you weren't around for the Great Collapse of Mangadex. Then... Well, so there was this period of time where mangadex just DIDNT EXIST. Bc there was some cyber?? Attack??? On the site??? I can't fully remember. But it like wiped out most of the site. The mangas r just, gone. So mangadex fixed it. It took a while bc they figured "might as well revamp our site and system". And they did. And it's great. And it looks beautiful now, even more than before.
But see. The line I remembered? Yea... Yea that was from before The Collapse. And mangadex let multiple translation groups submit their translations. So u can read diff translations of diff group, see how things are interpreted differently... And... I remembered this one, that I posted here up top, but I remembered there was another. One that had The Line.
And it was driving crazy so, like usual, I asked my cn friend. But my cn friend (why am I still saying that, it's @beingvv , that's the friend) has A Life, and isn't always online, and we love that for ppl. So. I'm still crazy. I can't trust my own damn mind and memory bc why tf do I remember something that isn't there (happened before btw, but that has nothing to do with this).
Luckily, I have a friend who knows jp. UNLUCKILY, I don't have the jp raws and it's from chapter 300 and we are in the thousands. So, I went back to losing my mind. Until I found it again, and realized. Heyyyyyyy there's a whole ass ANIME. So like the baggage my dear friend had the misfortune to be saddled with, I went to find the ep, timestamped it, yelled begged them for help.
This is where I lose my damn mind the first time in the recent weeks.
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(thank you my dear piglet, u don't even go here but u tolerate my insanity)
THIS. THIS WAS THE LINE. THATS WHAT I REMEMBERED.
So, I feel a little more sane (bc my mind didn't fabricate a memory again) and also A LOT more insane bc WHY WOULD U SAY THAT, HAKUBA SAGURU 😭😭😭 WHY WOULD U SAY IT LIKE THAT 😭😭😭
In any case I feel validated. Told beingvv about my discoveries (for whenever they come back) not that they need it cn fandom already got the correct translation. And finished writing my fic.
And then Saguru's comeback was announced.
So I've been losing my shit for 3 days on twitter, looking at all my fave KR and JP accounts and the things they say.
And then someone dug up and old tweet thread that talked about this panel. Specifically, op talked about the nuance in the word choice used.
Here's the og thread if anyone wants to read or Google translate it urself.
(mkppyong my love, bless you)
Bc mkppyong talked to a jp acquaintance about ??? Uh I dunno just language I guess. POINT IS. They pointed out that gosho used specific words/phrases that really wasn't needed if all he wanted to say was "the only one who drives me crazy/mad." But he did used them. It's specifically "his thoughts/mind" that's being driven crazy. And that if he wants to just talk about Saguru's mind being disrupted/confused, then there's rly no need to use the words "go crazy"
And then they wrote out a whole symbolism about clocks and saguru and being broken down/disrupted and I lost my shit over the clock symbolism, sue me 😭😭😭
I don't think I'm making sense anymore bUT WAIT, THERES MORE, THE FINAL BLOW
THE THAI TRANSLATION
This is where I expose myself more than I ever want to, but here's a fact. I'm thai
Here's a second fact. I'm SHIT at Thai. I've been bad at this language before I got good at English. My Thais as good as an elementary student. Every time I understand difficult words I get confused bc where did I know THAT from???
In any case, point is, I saw that tweet, read the text, immediately understood it and began losing my shit all over again... And then I doubted... Bc like, I'm not good with this lang anymore... Maybe im understanding it wrong? So I look up Google.
Google: คลุ้มคลั่ง just means go crazy
So I was like, damn guess I'm wrong, read too much into this. BUT SEE BC I LIVE HERE I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARENT A DISGRACE. And so my friend said:
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SO WELCOME TO MY THIRD ROUND OF INSANITY.
HAKUBA SAGURU WHY WOULD U SAY THIS SHIT IN FRONT OF LIKE NINE OTHER PPL 😭😭😭😭😭 BOY WHY R U TELLING THEM UR OBSESSED 😭😭😭 youre driving ME crazy 😭😭😭
So. Here we are. At the end. I have no idea how tf I'm supposed to end this post. I'VE been obsessed for 3 days straight. I don't have a lot of braincell left in me (there weren't any to begin with). I don't have a statement to wrap this post up in a nice little bow. Go make ur own conclusion I dunno.
But I would not have been losing my shit over this stupid panel for a month if it wasn't for the fact that eng translation was missing a pretty crutial thing in what Saguru said. I don't know if this was a mistranslation or a misunderstanding or something, but the English translation was lacking. And I love and have always been thankful and grateful to the ppl who worked hard to translate mangas in their free time, and do it all for free, bc I haven't had any real way to rent/borrow mangas from renting shops/libraries in years. So this was one of the only ways I can read mangas. But, even as I checked the raw panel with Google lens just now, even google translate it as "the only one to make my thoughts go round." No where was there any mention of "case" and "solving." So that's just, multiple accounts of ppl who knows jp, including native jp speakers, all saying that this panel is Saguru saying "the only one to drive me crazy". And man I rly hope this doesn't make me come off as ungrateful or like shitting on the translation team, I'm rly not. But yea. Uh. The translation was wrong. And I remembered that there used to be a diff eng translation. And it led me to go to all this trouble and journey to find out what was actually said. And here we are, at the end.
The only one who could disrupt Saguru's thinking.
The only one who could disturb Saguru's mind.
The one whose sole existence drives him mad.
The only one to make his mind obsess over till he's driven to madness.
Or to use the symbolism mkppyong wrote: the only one to break down the clock, the precise and accurate mechanism, that is Hakuba Saguru.
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dommnics · 1 month
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Tell me, please, how did you find your style in drawing characters?
Hi!
I really don't have an original answer haha! For me, what seemed to develop it was just being interested in different kinds of artists and art styles, adopting elements from them and playing with them in a way that I personally liked, and that just eventually became my style
Back when I thought I wanted to head into animation, I was adamant with myself on trying to replicate a mix of the conventional Disney look + Don Bluth's art style. This was 2012 for me where I only drew in that style:
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And then I gradually transitioned into what I call my thin lips, thin noses, big ears era lol. It wasn't super conscious, but that's what I just thought looked nice and felt natural to draw at the time. At this point, I discovered the artist Phobs and their style really inspired and influenced a lot of how I drew features during that time. There's some Minkyu Lee influence in there, a bit of Ghibli, and mainly still influenced by animation.
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I started getting more into video games later on in high school, and I feel like that started to bleed into my art style somehow.
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When I got to university, I had really fallen into a rabbit hole of the world of graphic novels and comics which definitely influenced my style. I was (and still am) really inspired by artists like Babs Tarr, Jorge Jimenez, Jake Wyatt, Jen Wang, Dan Mora, Jeff Smith, Emily Carroll, Faith Erin Hicks, Jamie Hewlett, to name some. There's of course so much more, but I'm just recalling and working off the top of my head!
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There was a point where I started drawing more fanart for live action properties (especially for the DC movies) and that also started to influence my style, because I remember I was more interested in leaning away from a heavily cartoony style and trying to give characters slightly more realistic sized features and proportions (but of course, still very stylized.)
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But eventually I fell back into a heavier cartoony and stylized look for how I drew characters which is where I'm at these days, and I really attribute this to doing comic work. I worked on my first graphic novel (it's not out yet!) and I can literally see how it changed my style when I look at the first couple of pages vs how I was drawing by the end of the book. It really loosened me up in how I draw now because of how many pages I had to whip up in a month.
For example, this is how I was drawing one of the main characters when I initially pitched the graphic novel in 2020.
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and now, he looks like this. Haha!
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And ultimately, after looking through old art to find some examples for this, I love that I can still see every single influence and inspiration in how I draw today. I took some different turns along the years (I honestly had so many art style shifts on the way that I didn't even detail here because this thread would be gigantic), but I can see how everything led me to the style that I feel comfortable am happy drawing in today. And I'm sure it's going to continue to look different in two years time even.
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chiangyorange · 14 days
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Do you have any LoZ/LU fic recs?
i have many! they wont be organized in any particular way tho
i started just hucking links at this until i realized, oh this is gettin really long actually, so im going to shove everything under the cut with the link to the fic itself and some personal notes from me to hopefully get you to read them!!
for Linked Universe;
Two Moon Pearls and the Master Sword by serbii
the chain get sent to the dark world and literally everyone but four, sky, and legend get to turn into animals about it. also baby legend is there <3 this also has an in progress sequel!!! its so fucking good!!!!!!
Absence by Anonymous
wild forgets he has to TELL PEOPLE that he has amnesia. this has consequences. i love wild and warriors dynamic so much theyre such a duo. if i believe in my heart other people can see the vision too.... sobs. WAILS EVEN.
Dearly, Departed by boo_boo_thefool
a series of post-lu oneshots revolving around each of the heroes!! hasnt reached all 9 of the chain yet but still a damn good read. if i think too hard about this one i can and will cry. on command even.
The Missing Link by SparklingWonderQueen
ongoing fic about if the chain met wild riiiiight at the beginning of totk when hes still missing!
willow bark and chamomile by schrodingers__cat
a REALLY fucking good read. like oh my god i just got SUCKED into this from start to finish. if ur a legend fan yes the fuck you are. get in there. go.
Dawn of the Fourth by LazuliQuetzal
also a damn good read!!! time gets de-aged and wind goes "haha im the big brother now. ... OH NO IM THE BIG BROTHER NOW!!!!!!" fucking hilarious. absolutely heart wrenching. these things are both true at the same time
ageless quest by fandomsandshit
OOOOOOOH YOU WANNA READ ABOUT THE CHAIN SEEING THE LIGHT DRAGON AND CONTEMPLATING THEIR OWN ADVENTURES SO BAD OOOOOHHH (theres three installments so far and if i think about THIS ONE i will ALSO cry on command about it. man i fucking love totk zelda so much why did they do that to her poor girl)
To Share, to Speak, and to Hear by NajikaSun
i cannot explain to you how much i love the knights trio. i have many feelings about them and they will sit riiiight here. its about the weight of legacy its about the weight of trying to fulfill your duties. you get it.
darning the threads as they fray by Ammo_Writes
this ones not done but bow howdy does it get my brain CHUGGING!! the tone... the haunting feeling.... augh... AUGH !!!! WHERES MY BOY I MISS HIM SO MUCH.
sorrow, immortality, and hope by virtualpng
READING THIS MADE ME WANT TO TEAR MY FURNITURE APART WITH MY TEETH!!! OHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDD ITS SO GOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD this author's other fics within the series also fucking slap. hard. god. the chain (who havent met wild yet) meet a stranger in ordon
Applejuice Stains on the Past by MjsKindaHere
HEY REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT THE KNIGHTS TRIO??> sky gets de-aged and wild is NOT normal about it. legacies and expectations and burdens etce etc. you get it
Young volcanoes by jelly_dragons
wild is incredibly fussy about how he was forced to wear the big clunky ass flamebreaker set in his journey meanwhile sky just gets some fancy shmancy earrings about it. the duo go into a volcano. hilarity ensues.
The Ruin They've Made Me by CluelessMoose
botw link's last battle did NOT go well with calamity ganon and leaves him possessed by the damn thing. and then the chain pop in. (owwwww OWWWWWWWWWWW)
Twin Quasar by StrixEye
written before totk released and its still unfinished but MAN AM I A SUCKER FOR GOOD COMPELLING TIMETRAVEL.
hold on, reaper by virtualpng
the chain before they ever meet wild but they pop into his hyrule anyway while hes in the shrine of resurrection. wind meets a ghost at fort hateno. god i fucking lost ghost stories.
steady going under by rebornofstars
the boys.... theyre sleepy.... specifically on top of twilight...
I'm A Riddle In Nine Syllables by SilverheartSP
GOD i fucking love ghost stories. pre-lu in botw where wild meets the chain as ghosts first, and THEN actually meets them
The Legacies You Leave Behind by Eureka5215
flora-centric study about her interactions with the chain. because she cant ever escape the overwhelming weight of a legacy like me too girl so real. yes this is part of my fixation on the knight trio. their haunted sadwoman air surrounding all four of them have captivated me mind and soul
Untarnished by Tashacee
MAN I FUCKING LOVE GHOST STORIES!!!! lovelovelove tash's hero's aspect au obvs the 2nd piece of fanart i did for this fandom was FOR heros aspect but man... MANNNNNNN UNTARNISHED HITS ME DIFFERENT!!!!! first..... ily king <3<3<3
In Flux by zippe
FUUUUUCKCKCKCKKCKC I LOVE FUCKY ASS TIME TRAVEL it can be to heartwrenching and this one is exactly thattttttt augh. AUGH!!!!!! i lose it ever time remembering this one
~~~
LOZ in general, but mainly botw/totk(and some aoc);
For The People by myfairstarlight
hey girl where did the divine beasts go. sidon is NOT having a good time about it hes EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED to that thing!!!!
That Brilliant Blue (A Bittersweet Goodbye) by myfairstarlight
hey. what do you mean sidon and mipha are doomed siblings. ill cry.
VIRTUE IS DROWNED, WITH HOLY HANDS, BY SORROW by lizandre
totk zelda in her time in the past. she is. not doing well!!!!
Again by Drich (drich147)
botw timeloop fic. yeah. theres this one scene where its revealed that guardians have a fuckign partymode???? thats hilarious.
so i'll never die when i'm dead by arashi_the_pancake
OW. FUCK. au where after turning into the light dragon zelda keeps her consciousness about it. shes not doing well!!!
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