#and also my fave song that i've written

[loullipopx]

Arise.

[sysig]

Nice healthy obsession you got there (Patreon)

[hannieehaee]

NO SONG WITHOUT YOU

18+ / mdi

summary: with zero experience or interest in the romantic aspect of his life, jihoon finds himself in an unexpected situation when his company decides on a collab between the two of you, not expecting the work-addicted producer to develop a bit of a crush on you.

content: idol!jihoon x idol!reader, afab reader, pining, jihoon's emotionally constipated, jihoon's pov, kinda inexperienced jihoon, smut, dry humping, oral (m receiving), penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 12.6k

a/n: this is probably my fave fic i've written so far!! love writing for jihoon aaaa anyways i hope u guys enjoy <3

masterlist

Jihoon was tired.

Beyond tired, actually. He couldn't remember the last time he'd left his studio at a reasonable time. He knew people on twitter made jokes about him being a bit of a hermit, with fans being able to spot his studio from outside the building, lights always on and indicating the producer was still inside.

He didn't have much of a valid excuse for this, other than being a 'workaholic', or at least that's the term Joshua had recently introduced him to, describing him as the prime example. Jihoon just couldn't help himself. He'd been like this ever since he could remember. If he had an idea, he had to work on it. And unfortunately for him, he was always full of new ideas. If Seventeen was releasing an album, that meant Jihoon already had enough material to fill up the next three albums backed up in a file somewhere in his computer.

Despite always having music prepared months in advance, - even having solo music up for grabs for whichever member desired it - he still found himself constantly working. It's not like anyone demanded this out of him either. It was quite the opposite, actually. From staff, to other producers, to members and even family, everyone always insisted that he took a break, maybe leave producing aside for a month or two. This was inconceivable to him, it was something that was simply out of his comfort zone.

The truth was, Jihoon felt lost. Any time he strayed away from work in some way or other, he didn't know what to do with himself. He felt like a failure in many other aspects of his life. Granted, he was a successful idol and producer, talented in every area necessary in his field, but past that, what did he really have to offer? He'd been stuck in a rut for a few years now. He had his members, his family, maybe some staff, but his social life didn't go much past that. He didn't have many hobbies outside of work either. Sure, he was avid when exercising, even being an overachiever in that area, but that was also kind of part of his job. He knew he needed to step out of his comfort zone at some point and live his life, but he kept making excuses for himself. He was 26 now, and was, quite frankly, beginning to lose hope in certain areas of his life due to his career, - although blaming his career was just an excuse, really - the romantic aspect of his life being one of them.

Jihoon had some experience, okay? It wasn't like he'd never liked a girl before. He'd had a few crushes in elementary, maybe even some up until high school. He'd kissed one of the female trainees back when Pledis was a smaller company (okay, it might've been on a dare, but to Jihoon it counted). A few years after debuting he'd even gone on a few dates with a former staff member from his company. He'd lost his virginity to that same girl, kind of rushing into it due to feeling pressured to just get it over with - something he didn't exactly regret, but wished had been more of a memorable moment. The point was, Jihoon had had a few romantic experiences in his past 26 years on this earth. But, he hadn't ever even gotten close to find that one great love he'd hoped he one day would. For someone who received constant accolades for his lyricism, he was never really able to relate to his own music. He'd never been heartbroken, never had an insane need for someone, never felt romantic love, never been in the throes of passion with a beautiful girl, even. It was all his imagination. His lyrics, that is. And maybe the rest, if he was being honest. He'd dreamt about it lately; the perfect girl who he'd find and sweep off her feet. But that was all it was, a dream.

So, Jihoon was tired. Tired of hauling himself up in his studio to make himself feel something. But that was where he now found himself; stuck and in a rut, hoping for something more.

He was once again in his studio, working on god knows what at this point. He had just finished a quick welive with carats, feeling like he'd accomplished his quota of socialization for the day (I mean, even if it was a one-way conversation, it still counted, right?) and decided to get to work on one of the many unfinished drafts in his hard drive. This was kind of routine by now. He would either get a quick meal with one of the members during their break from rehearsals, or would go back to his studio for a bit to work on music. This would've been fine and dandy if it wasn't for the fact that Jihoon would eventually have ended up right back at his stuido either way. It was the illusion of choice, truly.

He spent a few hours in there, messing around with his guitar and even working on some guides for the members to follow next time they had some time to stop by the Universe Factory. Today felt like a productive day for Jihoon. Granted, he did this literally every single day, but he hadn't felt stuck at any point today. Maybe he was on a lucky streak. He decided to cut the day short there, not wanting to ruin what had been arguably an uninterrupted day of working on music. However, his separation from his studio did not last long, as he received a call from his manager just as he was locking the door behind him. He picked up without much thought.

"What's up?"

"Hey? Jihoon-ah, are you still in the studio by any chance?", Jihoon almost vocalized his amusement at the question. Where else would he be?

"I was just locking up, but yeah, I'm here."

"Good! Stay right there! Gonna head up to talk to you for a bit," and with that he hung up, not leaving Jihoon any chance to respond.

Jihoon and his manager were quite close. This was the case with most idols and their managers, having to spend so much time together. Still, Jihoon found the interaction to be a bit odd. Usually his manager would be one of the many people to insist that Jihoon get his ass out of his studio every once in a while. He didn't mind his request, though, so he quickly reopened the door and sat himself back down on his chair, deciding to mess with a few things as he waited for his manager's arrival.

It took his manager about ten minutes to arrive, Hybe was quite a big building, after all. He knocked on his door, not knowing the access code to Jihoon's studio. The only people who knew his key code were Jihoon himself, and Soonyoung (who had learned it without Jihoon's knowledge, but he was too lazy to change it by now). He got up to open the door, simply expecting another one of his manager's short overviews of Jihoon's schedule for the week, which might've been correct, except that when he opened the door he was met with his manager accompanied by an unfamiliar face.

It was you. Jihoon didn't know exactly who you were, but you carried a familiar air to you. He hadn't really been interacting with many people as of late, so maybe you were just someone he'd seen in passing, he wasn't too sure. You and his manager walked in upon Jihoon's gesture to please come in, moving aside as to not be in your way. He closed the door behind you, accidentally closing the distance between the two of you for a second and becoming a bit flustered at the proximity. He wasn't sure why his manager would bring someone unknown into his studio, but if Jihoon was anything, he was a relaxed guy (or at least he tried to seem like it), so he just sat back down without making any questions, his manager would probably fill him in any moment now anyways.

"Okay, so this is Y/N! You've probably met before, right?"

Uh, not right. And now a little awkward. Was he supposed to lie?

"Oh! No, we haven't, actually. I know a few of his members, though, but this is our first time officially meeting," you spoke up for the first time. So you were friends with his members? That might be how he knew you. That didn't really narrow it down much, though. There were 12 of them, and Seungkwan alone was friends with practically the entire industry.

"Oh? My bad. Well, then I should introduce you, right? Jihoon, this is Y/N! Her group was just recently acquired by Hybe. They moved into the building just over a month ago, if I'm not mistaken," He turned to you as you nodded in affirmation before proceeding, "Y/N, this is Jihoon, producer and partial leader of Seventeen."

He wasn't too sure why he was introducing the two of you. If he got personally introduced to every group Hybe acquired in the past year, he'd probably be here all day. He'd stopped keeping track of who and which groups were now roaming the hallways, being too many for him to count. He wasn't complaining or anything, he was just confused as to why go out of his way.

"Woozi-nim. It's so nice to meet you! I've always been such a huge fan. Your work is .. it's insane. I've looked forward to meeting you for so long," the enthusiasm with which you said this made his lip quirk up a little. Sure, he received accolades on his work every day, but knowing that fellow juniors of his looked up to him always brought a smile to his face, although it still made him a little sheepish at receiving such a forward compliment.

"Oh, I- Thank you. And you can call me Jihoon. It's nice to meet you, too," he smiled shyly at you, not really knowing what to say past that. He felt a bit shy looking at you for some reason, as if he couldn't hold eye contact for too long or he'd burn.

He looked expectantly over at his manager, the instigator of this interaction.

"Oh! Right. Well, as I just said, Y/N's group just moved into the company. And the company's been pushing for some collaborations as of late, you know, in order to maximize all groups within Hybe all at once," Jihoon could kind of see where his manager was going with this, "So, I've brought Y/N along with me since you two will be working together for a feature."

Hold on. Rewind.

"Us? As in just us two?"

"Yeah. Hybe is dividing you guys into subdivisions. Mingyu will be collaborating with someone in BTS a few months from now, and Chan will be with Yeonjun from TXT. I think Seokmin is scheduled with a member of Lesserafim. Not too sure yet, but you're up first. I sent you an email about it a few days ago with the general idea. Did you not get it?"

Oh, right. Jihoon was always quite diligent about his work, but his work mostly entailed Seventeen only. Checking his email wasn't much of a habit of his when he could just call up the few producers that worked for Seventeen whenever he needed to. Collaborations and producer work for other people were not that common to him, so for the most part he would disregard anything that didn't entail his own group.

"Oh, I, uh. No, sorry," he felt slightly bad at having disregarded the person standing in front of him, specially when you had regarded him such such respect. He was giving off a terrible first impression.

"That's fine. Now you know. Well, just wanted to take advantage that you were here today - Hah, well, when aren't you here?", chuckled his manager before continuing, "Just wanted to introduce you just in case. Check the email I sent you when you can, I'll send you over more details of your schedule related to the feature first thing tomorrow, yeah? Y/N here is the main producer for her group too, so you'll be co-producing."

You produced? He didn't mean to sound like an asshole, but there were just so many groups who didn't make their own music. He could sometimes get a bit of an ego over knowing he was an anomaly in his industry, always having taken pivotal part in a good 90% of his group's discography. Still, he wasn't too happy about the concept of having to share the creative process with a producer he had never heard of, if he was quite honest. For the most part he would only work with Bumzu and a few other Hybe producers here and there. He didn't even know your group or the music you were credited for. Hell, he had only found out about this project two minutes ago, having had no voice in the matter. One of the down sides of joining such a huge company that fathered way too many groups at once, he guessed.

He decided to not show his slight discomfort towards the idea, simply offering a polite response before bidding his goodbyes to the two of you. You had stayed behind for a few extra seconds after his manager exited the room, once more voicing your admiration for Jihoon and letting him know you were looking forward to working together. Jihoon had to admit that your praise did something to him. He didn't mean to sound like a total loser when he said this, but he did not interact with girls too much. So receiving such direct praise on his music from a pretty girl who also happened to share a passion with him had his ears turning red. He quickly shook his head at the thought, deciding to just stay at the studio overnight once more and maybe finally go over the email his manager had sent him.

He had to admit, he was quite impressed. Shortly after your arrival he had decided to research you and your group. You were quite well known by then, having debuted the same year as Seventeen and now being one of the top girl groups in the game. Just like Jihoon, you were from a small company and had climbed your way up, eventually being acquired by Hybe just a few months prior. Your stories were quite similar, if he really thought about it. You had also taught yourself how to produce before debuting, taking on the official role of main producer upon making your debut.

He had found out an embarrassing amount of information about you very quickly. He couldn't help himself. He was immediately intrigued by you, even going as far as looking at online forums about you; places that would detail information about you that only a true fanatic would know. He was now privy to trivial information such as your birth year (one year after his), your favorite color (pink), how many moles you had (seven, total), when you joined your company (exactly two months before he joined pledis), your most popular fancam (the one were you wore that pretty purple top), and just general information he'd be embarrassed to relay he now had memorized. He could call himself a bit ... infatuated. He felt beyond creepy, despite all this being public information. He had just met you, why had he just spent the past three hours binging content about you?

Jihoon decided to shrug these thoughts away, instead opting to mentally prepare himself for tomorrow morning, which was apparently the first day in which you'd be meeting to talk over your future schedules together for the next month or so. He had finally checked the multiple emails his manager had sent him about the collaboration, realizing that he'd now have to spend most of his non-Seventeen allocated time with you.

From photoshoots for promo, to the actual producing of the song, the empty slots in his schedules seemed to have filled up on their own, now being occupied by your company, and much to his surprise, he was not annoyed at this sudden intrusion. He felt a weird feeling in his stomach, but it wasn't like the usual nerves he felt before going on an important stage, nor the grumbling he felt whenever he met an idol of his. He felt ... giddy? He was looking forward to it. He felt nervous to see you again, which was really strange considering that he felt completely normal upon meeting you just now. Yeah, you were very pretty (he had eyes, this was just a fact he couldn't deny), but he hadn't had much of a reaction to it. However, now, as he looked at pictures of you on his computer, he couldn't imagine holding eye contact again. He was going mad.

Tomorrow arrived sooner than he thought. Now he was now sitting in his studio, awaiting your arrival. He had impulsively tidied up the place, now embarrassed that you'd seen it a mess the day prior. He also tidied himself up. As he recalled, you were wearing a pretty dress yesterday, so he felt bad you'd caught him in sweats and a three-day-old shirt. He wasn't sure why he wanted to impress you, but he did. Jihoon had the hope of at least befriending you, now having formed some type of interest towards you.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door, making his heart accelerate at the thought of who was on the other side of it. Upon unlocking it, he found you on the other side, smile on your face as you carried in some bowls of .. his favorite meal? into his studio.

"Hi, Woozi-nim! I brought you food, is that's okay? I asked Seungkwan what you liked," oh, so it was Kwannie you were friends with. That made sense. It was touching that you'd gone out of your way to get him something you knew he'd like. Now he felt bad at being empty handed in his own studio.

"Oh, I- Thank you. You didn't have to do that."

"It's no problem! Wanted to thank you for doing this. I know you don't do collaborations that often. Felt kinda bad about imposing," by now the two of you had sat down in front of his desk, chairs slightly too close for comfort as you unwrapped the food in the bags you'd brought in.

"You-you're not. Sorry if I made it seem that way yesterday, hah, I was just caught off guard."

Jesus Christ, he felt so awkward. Your close proximity had him at a loss. He didn't know where to look or what to say. Your perfume was also not helping matters. The pretty scent had him extremely distracted, his mind suddenly being flooded with the thought that, shit, everything about you was pretty. What was wrong with him? Was this his first time interacting with a woman? He had never felt more out of place, except that despite any improper feelings he felt, he still wanted to be in your vicinity.

"-Woozi-nim?"

Shit, had you been talking this whole time?

"Oh, I'm sorry. What were you saying?"

You chuckled at him, clearly not taking offense to his distracted nature, "I was just asking if you had any drafts you wanted to use as a baseline? Or we could use one of my unused drafts? It's whatever you prefer, really. I'd love to work with something of yours, though. I love your style, it's so ... hah, I don't know. It's just so you."

Jihoon thanked god he had not cut his hair as some carats had begged, because now the length allowed him to cover the red of his ears. A single compliment from you had him heating up, clammy hands getting even clammier at the thought of you using his talent as a compliment. If you wanted to use his music, there was just no way for him to deny you. He wanted to hear more of your praise to him.

"Y-yeah? I have uh, a few that I could show you. They're just drafts, but you know."

You visibly perked up at this, scooting even closer to him as he began to fiddle with his computer, opening up some files to show you. Your excitement at his work had him swooning internally. The amount of interest you'd been showing since meeting yesterday was already getting the better of him.

"Woozi-nim, holy shit. These are hundreds of files. Are these all unfinished?"

"Uh, yeah. I uh, tend to have a few drafts saved for future projects."

"I get that. Me too, but these have to be over 300 unfinished songs," you were in clear shock (perhaps admiration?) of the endless tracks in front of you. Jihoon wasn't sure if he should feel ashamed at having so much unfinished work (which made bit feel like a bit of a loser), or be proud since you seemed to be impressed at the vast number.

"I like to be prepared. You know, just in case."

"It's .. wow. I knew you were good, but this is insane, Woozi-nim."

"I, you can call me Jihoon," he didn't really care much for the distinction between Woozi and Jihoon at this point; he was pretty used to both. But a part of him just wanted to hear you call him by his real name; the one only those close to him really used. He also wanted an out from the conversation, feeling too flustered at your compliments.

You chuckled, nodding at him, "Okay, Jihoon. Sorry, didn't really know what name to go for at first."

"No, it-it's fine. I'm only a year older. You can speak comfortably."

The rest of the conversation was filled with technicalities about the collaboration. Now that you two had established a, let's say, closer acquaintance, you were able to discuss your ideas more comfortably. Jihoon still had to put up with the endless compliments about his work as you two went through possible tracks for the song, but he tried his best to take them like a champ, simply chuckling shyly and shrugging them off. Your genuine admiration for his skill had him reeling inside, enamored with the tone of your voice any time you'd express excitement at hearing exclusive Universe Factory content. He hadn't felt butterflies in his stomach like this in, well, ever. He felt like he was a high school student with a silly crush.

The disappointment in his face as you parted ways must've been clear (which made him embarrassed beyond belief), as you pulled out your phone and asked him to put his contact in, letting him know you'd be seeing him soon. The possession of your contact info made him excited. He knew it was probably just for work purposes, but he held a stupid hope in the back of his head that you'd given it to him because you had interest in meeting again soon.

And you did see each other soon, consistently meeting in order to work on the song. A few of the times you were joined by Bumzu (who was also helping out with the song), or Soonyoung (who was just a nosy bastard who wouldn't leave Jihoon's studio), which made him curse out his two friends, wanting you all to himself. His crush had developed quickly after that second meeting. You were now all he thought about. Every morning when he got ready to start his day, he wondered which shirt you'd like him best in. Would you like if he trimmed his hair or did you like it long? What did you like in guys? (Except had already gone on incognito mode on his phone to search your ideal type, growing instantly embarrassed and exiting out of the tab). He thought of you as he exercised, wondering if you'd like his muscles and physique. His entire existence was surrounded by thoughts of you. And he hoped maybe he was also in your mind.

The first time he saw you outside his studio walls was at the Hybe gym as he worked out with Mingyu, Soonyoung and Joshua. He almost lost hold on the dumbbells in his hands upon spotting you, tight leggings and cropped shirt adorning your body. He had seen you in less clothing before (Only ever through a screen, in all the pretty concept photos your group had done, or in the occasional fancam he'd come across), but seeing your silhouette in the flesh had all thoughts leaving his mind. He felt ashamed at his way of thinking. He didn't want to objectify you like that, but the thoughts of your beauty had not left his mind for two weeks now, since the day he first met you.

But his eyes couldn't be helped, glued to your form as you walked into the place, paying extra attention to the parts that stood out most for him. He was like a depraved monster, his breath getting ragged as he watched you move around, licking his lips and sighing at every small movement you made. God, what was happening to him? Why was he so immediately aroused? Luckily, his thoughts were quickly interrupted by a cough from a very annoying Kim Mingyu, who had just been spotting him before his abrupt stop.

"Hyung .. You're too obvious."

"Wha-what are you talking about?", he did not like the smirk attached to Mingyu's face, nor the matching mocking smile in Soonyoung and Joshua's.

"You should see him when she's sitting in his studio. It's sad to watch," snickered the fellow 96-liner.

"Oh? She's the girl? Damn, hyung. She's really pretty."

"It's not- there's no girl. We're just working together," his feelings were already complicated enough, he didn't need the involvement of his members' teasing.

"C'mon, Hyung! It's okay if you like her. She's pretty, she's an idol-producer. She's perfect for you. I think you should go for it," encouraged Mingyu, in his optimistic Mingyu-fashion.

"Yeah, I mean. You were just about to cum in your pants at just seeing her in some leggings. I don't think you have anything to lose if you're already at the point of public indecency."

Yeah, this was exactly why he wanted to keep them as far away as possible.

"Soonyoung, I swear to g-"

"Jihoon? Oh my god, hi! I didn't realize you were here," it was you, now at a closer proximity and a slight sheen of sweat attached to your skin. Had Jihoon not been snapped out of his trance earlier, he probably would've been salivating by now.

"Oh. Hi Y/N. How are you?", he felt like he was being scrutinized for his every word and move by his members, which made him feel extremely awkward (more than usual).

"Good! I didn't know you used the company gym. I'd never seen you here before. You should've told me. We could've come together," you smiled before turning to his friends, "Hi! I'm Y/N, it's nice to meet you!"

Soonyoung made a show of stretching his hand out to you, bowing way too low for such a casual setting (probably just to peeve Jihoon). He was followed by Joshua, who held onto your hand in a way that had Jihoon fuming to himself.

"Hello, Y/N. I think we might've met before. You're Kwannie's friend, right?"

"Oh, right! Yeah, I've been to your guys' practice room before, but Jihoon didn't recognize me when we first met, so I wanted to re-introduce myself just in case," you giggled in Jihoon's direction.

"Don't mind him. That's just Jihoon. He's too distracted for his own good. I'm Kim Mingyu, by the way," the youngest shot you a flirtatious smile.

He needed all of them to keep the flirting as toned down as humanly possible. Although jealousy was not an emotion he felt often, the thought of his best friends even looking at you had his ears turning red in anger. But in very expected fashion, they all continued to take turns flirting with you for the next twenty minutes, completely shrugging off any intention of working out they might've had before having spotted you. Luckily (and surprisingly) for him, you were not reciprocating the flirting, nor where your eyes ever off of Jihoon for too long, always including him in your responses to his members one way or another.

You were somehow immune to the charms of Kwon Soonyoung, which, yeah, Jihoon didn't blame you for. You were also unaffected by Jisoo, which was a little more rare from Jihoon's experience. What shocked him most, though, was that your eyes still stayed on him even while one Kim Mingyu blatantly flirted with you. He'd known one too many girls who had fallen victim to his flirting (whether it be intentional or not), and to see you fully shrug him off in favor of looking to Jihoon instead had his heart going at an inhuman speed.

The interaction ended not too much time later, leaving Jihoon's ears red, but now from embarrassment at his friends slyly suggesting his interest at you multiple times throughout the conversation. Despite them being subtle about it, he was still mortified, specially when by the end of it, they'd pushed him to walk you back to your practice room while they wandered off on their own.

"I'm so sorry about them. They can be a bit much."

"It's fine, Jihoon. Don't worry about it. They were really fun. I can see how you're all so close."

"Ah, yeah. You know how it is .. Uh, sorry they kept hitting on you like that,"

he knew he was a bit of an idiot for bringing it up, but he wanted to gauge your feelings on it. He needed to know if he at least held a chance against his members or if you'd just been being nice by not reciprocating in front of him.

You chuckled as you responded, "I know they weren't being serious about it, Jihoon. Don't sweat it. It's not them I'm interested in anyways."

Oh, great. That was good to hear .. Wait. What?

"W-What?l"

"Oh. We're here. This is my group's practice room. Sorry I made you walk all the way here, I know your practice room is like five floors up," you apologized sheepishly, completely disregarding what you'd just said.

"I-it's fine. I'll see you on Thursday, then?"

"Thursday? We have a shoot tomorrow, Jihoon. Remember? We need a jacket shoot for the collab. It was on the schedule."

Oh, fuck. He had completely blanked on that. You guys were almost done recording the finishing touches to the song, but he forgot you guys also needed to do the shoot for the promo and learn the choreo as soon as you gave the choreographers the finalized version for the single. There was still so much to be done, which only meant even more time spent with you.

"Yeah, right. Sorry, hah, completely spaced out on that. I'll see you tomo-"

"Come pick me up?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, stop by my practice room so we can walk together? Is that okay?"

Did you- did you want to spend even more time with him? He wasn't complaining. He wanted all his time to be consumed by you, but .. was the feeling mutual?

"Yes," he paused, realizing his answer had been too short and mechanical, "I mean, yeah, sure, I don't mind. I'll see you here tomorrow morning."

You giggled at him before bidding your goodbye once more, but this time offering him a quick side hug before disappearing through the door to your practice room. Jihoon was glad you were gone, because this time it wasn't just his ears that were red, but his whole face had begun to resemble a tomato.

It was time to admit to himself that he was down bad tremendously for you.

Jihoon had not at any moment stopped to wonder what type of vibe the collaboration was meant to follow. Yeah, he was working on the song (which was almost finalized by now), so he knew it was pretty much a pop-rock-ish vibe that they were going for, but he didn't know what the rest of the equation would look like, which was something he wished he'd prepared a bit better for.

He had walked you over this morning, even being enticed by Seungkwan into bringing you your favorite drink as a nice gesture (which worked perfectly, as it won him over yet another side hug). The two of you arrived to the designated area for photoshoots located in one of the lower floors of the Hybe building, then went your separate ways to head over to hair and makeup in order to get your outfits situated. He had to admit he liked his outfit. It was a little more provocative than usual, with it being mostly black leather and the top being unbuttoned enough to show off most of his abdomen. It was your outfit, however, that had him reeling.

Nothing could have prepared him for the moment he stepped out and spotted you doing a few solo shots in preparation, your outfit and makeup already perfectly in place. He had no words to express how he felt upon seeing you. You looked so ... gorgeous. Unsure of how to react at the sight in front of him, he stood there staring, almost as if he'd seen an apparition. It wasn't until one of the photographers called him over that he managed to regain sense of self and join you.

The entirety of the photoshoot was absolute hell for Jihoon. This was the closest he'd ever been to you (sans the now two quick side hugs you'd given him in the past day). The shoot was a bit .. sensual in nature. The first set of outfits were edgier, so the shoot was the basic scenario you'd picture for a punk-rock pictorial. The second set of outfits had been the issue, because they went in the complete opposite direction. You were in a beaten down motel room setting, wearing very simple outfits, although they were both very skimpy and thin, almost as if to signify the simplicity of the concept. You two posed together on the bed, with your poses getting more and more intimate by the minute. At some point he had been directed to embrace you as he looked into your lips, with the proximity being way too close for comfort (or at least that's what he tried to tell himself). At another point he was kneeling on the bed as he looked up at you, your eyes simulating lust as you looked down on him, hand on his chin, lifting his gaze to yours.

The shoot had been an experience, to say the least. Jihoon wasn't sure how he survived it without breaking. He thanked the gods for the years of preparation with all types of shoots he'd done with the members over the years. However, completion of the shoot did not mean he was unaffected. He had no idea how he'd get the image of your lips so close to his out of his mind. Despite knowing it'd all been professional and strictly fake, he could've sworn he felt something every time your eyes would meet when at such a close distance. He wanted it to be real so badly, but once again he chalked it up to being wishful thinking. At least the worst of it was over, and he could now get back to sitting next to you in his studio at a respectable distance.

~

Jihoon had been an idiot to ever believe that the shoot had been the worst of it.

It had now been a week since the dreaded photoshoot (The one that had him up at night imagining what it would've been like if he had just closed the gap between your lips, damning anyone else in the room), and now it had been a few days since the song had finally been completed. He had thoroughly enjoyed co-producing with you, geeking at your ability to compliment each other perfectly. Your voice was yet another thing he had fallen in love with during the process, fully enamored by every single take you did. It had actually slowed down the process, as Jihoon green-lit every single one of your takes due to the rose-colored glasses that prevented him from catching mistakes you swore you'd committed during a few of the takes. You seemed to be similar, however, as you continued to shower him in compliments (even at the shoot, where you had complimented him with his hard work at the gym - a moment he chose to disregard or else he would've lost his mind at the implications), refusing to admit any faults of his while recording.

Now, however, he found himself in very difficult and unchartered waters. Any other time in which he'd produced a song, he'd never been involved further than that. He'd done duo shoots before, with women at that, but what he'd never done was share a choreography with someone who wasn't a member of Seventeen. He had danced with women before, of course, even having participated in more sensual dances, but this felt different. All previous times had been with nameless backup dancers he had never known too well. This was you. He now had to work through an entire choreo with you as the two of you danced around each other (physically and figuratively, he believed).

Most of the song involved a very casual choreo, as the two of you danced mostly separately but complimented one another. The kicker was the bridge of the song, where the melody mellowed out a bit and allowed for a quick dance break of sorts. It was very sensual in nature, and required you and Jihoon to tangle against each other as you used the other's body to complete the dance. Going over it had been full of shy smiles and eyes that couldn't seem to meet. It almost made him believe that you'd felt just as flustered as he did. When you actually began to dance over that part, however, you left Jihoon's mouth watering at how easy it was for you to meld your body to his; how you would guide his shy hands to place them in all the correct places. The feeling of your body against his was new and unfamiliar, but it felt so right to him. He wanted nothing more than to leave his mark on your skin, signaling that he was the only one meant to touch there. He was truly going mad.

It had now been about two months since Jihoon had first met you. The song hadn't been released yet, but most preparations for it had been done. All that was left was a quick music video shoot plus a few music show appearances that would come after the actual release of the song. Thus far, the song had been announced, with a pending release date of a month from now. Jihoon had enjoyed public reaction to the unexpected collab, with people even going as far as calling you a dynamic duo due to your respective reputations as the main producers of your groups.

You seemed to also enjoy knowing the news had finally broken to the public, even going as far as mentioning Jihoon in some of your lives. He specifically recalled a moment he'd seen as he watched it live, one that had him blushing and kicking his feet. You'd been asked about what it was like working with Jihoon, to which you responded with a whole paragraph of compliments directed at his work ethic, along with a short quip about how cute you found Jihoon to be, deeming it 'difficult to focus with him around.' He felt like he was on cloud nine at the comment, despite how lightheartedly you had delivered it.

After that (and a few more instances of you shooting compliments his way), he had decided he wanted to see you outside of a work-related schedule. He had begun making excuses to find himself on your group's floor, going as far as using Seungkwan and Soonyoung (who you'd unfortunately befriended due to his constant unwanted presence as you two worked on your song) as pawns in order to not be as obvious whenever he went to see you. Despite your usually outgoing demeanor, you seemed a bit more reserved whenever it was only you and Jihoon. He wondered if it was because of his quiet demeanor, or because you might've maybe returned his feelings and felt too shy to be too expressive around your crush - he knew damn well that was his case, at least.

Today the two of you were working out together at the gym - a huge feat for Jihoon, who could not help but ogle at you whenever you weren't paying attention - with him playing the role of your spotter. He had extensive knowledge of weightlifting, which he had been proud to impress you with. Right now, you were working on your arms, which required Jihoon at a close proximity in order to make sure you didn't get hurt. He enjoyed this way more than he could admit to anyone or himself.

"Is this okay? Is this the right position to do it?", you questioned as you made eye contact with him through the mirror. Your arms were lifted above your shoulders, with dumbbells on each of them as you attempted to lift them both at once.

"Yeah. That's perfect. Is it too heavy? Do you need to stop?"

"No, I'm fine, Ji, I promise. Just stand a little closer, yeah? I don't wanna drop them. And put your arms under mine?", he followed your instructions, now towering over you from behind as you sat in front of him.

The two of you had grown more comfortable in the past two weeks or so, seeing each other almost every day while outside of official schedules. He'd learned that, unlike him, you didn't have any issues with personal space, often allowing him to stand too close for comfort. He couldn't complain, though, as he was always too hypnotized by the proximity.

"Shit!", you yelped, almost dropping the dumbbell before Jihoon managed to intercept it. You had begun to do a set before the one minute mark passed, deeming you too weak to lift the dumbbell all the way up. Luckily, you had instructed Jihoon to stand close to you in order to prevent any actual damage.

"Are you okay?", he asked as he placed the dumbbells on the ground, rounding the seat in order to stand in front of your sitting form.

It was mind-numbing, really. The angle in which he was looking down at you, with your pretty eyes looking back at him with a semi-worried expression on your face at the shock of almost dropping such a heavy weight on yourself. The incident left his mind immediately at the sight of you, a layer of sweat covering your skin as you panted while looking up at him. He pulled you up by your arms, helping you stand in front of him. In very cliche fashion, you tripped a bit, almost landing on him before he caught you by your forearms. The classic 'falling-atop-your-crush' trope did not happen, but he still ended up at even a closer proximity to you. Just when he had finally begun to forget the sight of your lips right in front of his from back when you did the jacket shoot together.

He did not move back, and neither did you, allowing the small distance between you to fog both of your minds.

"T-thanks, Hoonie. Could've really hurt myself," this was the first time he'd ever heard a stutter out of you, with your eyes not looking into his as they usually did. Your closeness still not diminishing even when the danger of the situation had already dissipated.

"'Course. Uh, I .. Maybe we should go back to a lighter weight?"

It took you a moment to respond, eventually choosing to look back at him with your pretty eyes, a seemingly empty head to match. He liked the look on you. He could've sworn he saw your eyes lower to his lips, but his mind was too clouded to confirm.

"Uh, actually, I think im done for the day. Is that okay? I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Oh, right. Yeah. I'll meet you in front of your practice room?", he was confused at your sudden departure, dreading the separation, but he figured one of you would have to break the spell eventually.

"Yeah. See you there, Hoonie. I'll text you later, okay?", you gave him a quick peck on his cheek before turning to the exit, leaving behind a beet-red Jihoon as he tried to get his heartbeat to slow to a healthy rhythm.

He was left standing there, in the cold and empty company gym as he pondered as to whether or not his feelings may be mutual.

~

The next day the two of you met again, no mention of yesterday at all. What would there be to mention anyways? That you two stood close to each other? Jihoon felt like such a loser even having considered it anything. He was just inexperienced at this, and very much touch starved, so any small suggestive interaction had him overthinking. Like right now, as you hooked your arm on his to walk along the Hybe building together, not a care in the world about anyone who would see you.

"Did you see the outline for the music video?", you spoke up once the two of you had reached the cafeteria, picking a secluded table to sit at - not that many people wandered there anyway.

"Hmm. No, what is it?", he still hadn't managed to beat the habit of not checking his emails.

You giggled, seeming a little flustered, "Uh, we're playing a couple. Very Bonnie and Clyde but with a grudge twist. Seems pretty cool, actually."

"Oh. We-we're playing a couple?"

"Yeah. I think we can pull it off. You did really good at the shoot. Did you see the finished product? Okay, never mind. I know you didn't. They look really good, though. We look very convincing."

He knew you didn't mean anything by it, but you constantly had him wondering. If you liked him you wouldn't be this direct, right? This must've all been very lighthearted to you. Sure, you were friends, but that's where it all ended for you. Jihoon was the complete opposite. Every single interaction you had had him falling deeper and deeper into a hole of infatuation for you. There was nothing about you he wasn't obsessed with. It had begun to manifest in all areas of his life, even his work. He had never had more unfinished love songs in his hard drive.

Unbeknownst to you, he had purposely avoided taking a look at those pictures, knowing his mind would go blank at the image of you looking at him with those lustful eyes from a third-person perspective. Living through it already had him in agony night after night as he thought of nothing but you.

"Y-yeah. I saw them," he lied, "You did amazing."

"Really?", you were always giddy at his compliments (which didn't come often due to his shy demeanor towards you), "I've never done a more provocative concept like this before. It's fun. It suits you a lot, Jihoon. I'm glad I got to do it with you of all people."

And you had no idea how glad he was too.

Shooting the music video had somehow been even more agonizing than the photoshoot. It was two grueling days of constant time spent together. He loved your company, but the stylists kept insisting on dressing you in the most provocative outfits imaginable to man. He couldn't think while he looked at you. You were like a siren. Even the strongest of men wouldn't be able to resist you.

The worst of it came in the form of the director instructing you two to act like two lovers against the world. Word for word. It wasn't difficult for Jihoon to pretend he was enamored by you, but he was truly at a loss of words over how well you also played your role. By now he had become numb to your touch, having run through the choreography with you multiple times by now, and with you having become increasingly touchier through the time you'd known each other.

He thanked god under his breath as soon as the two days came to a close, knowing that now he could at least keep his feelings under wraps for a while. It was now about two weeks until the release of the song. According to the schedule, all that was left was one pre-recorded Studio Choom performance, two comeback shows after the release of the song, and two variety show appearances together. It was all pretty straightforward from now on. There was no way Jihoon wouldn't be able to put up with what was left. He had this in the bag.

The worst thing imaginable happened after that. Jihoon had not planned for this, nor had you, apparently.

It was very sudden and came completely out of left field. It pertained to you, but had affected Jihoon more than anyone involved.

Dispatch had released an article just a week before the official release of the song. Promotions had only begun, but had been slightly disrupted by this sudden interruption.

The article featured you, and an unknown man. They were clearly pictures taken off-guard, from a distance. You were in front of some building, ignorant to any cameras nearby. You were too close for Jihoon's comfort. He knew there was some type of relationship there. The caption to the picture didn't help matters either. Something about an estranged lover you'd been keeping secret from the media. There were too many pictures for Jihoon to process. In some you were embracing, while in others you were sharing a low-quality peck from what he could tell.

Seeing that article had been an absolute punch in the gut. There was no argument against it. There was clearly something between you and that guy. He was standing too close to you, even holding onto you in most of the pictures. You could barely tell it was you, but to Jihoon it was obvious. He had never felt heartbreak like this before. The two of you had never dated or even insinuated actual interest in the other, but it still felt like betrayal to him, as irrational as that thought was. It was all his fault, really. Had he told you about his feelings, maybe things would've been different.

Jihoon felt like an idiot. Of course this had all been just a business transaction to you. You were assigned to work with him, just as he was you. Even if he had led himself to believe that the feelings might've somehow been mutual, it had all just been in his head. What would you see in him anyways? Yeah, sure, you had a few things in common, but who in their right mind would ever want to be with the empty-hearted producer who cared for nothing but work. Hell, the day he met you was yet another day in which he had been willingly locked in his studio all day. That was what you would've been signing up for, had you looked his way. He didn't wish such a loveless relationship to anyone. He knew by now that he did- he did love you, but he knew he was probably unable to love you in the way you deserved. He was incapable of that. At 26, he'd had no experience with love. Why would someone as beautiful and amazing as you want to be with someone like him?

He was in love with you. That was something he could now full-heartedly admit to himself. Within these two months he had fallen deeply in love with you. Nothing could change that by now, not even knowing that you were already taken. He couldn't help himself in locking himself in his house after that, ignoring and all messages from both you and his manager regarding the few rehearsals he had skipped over.

Hybe did their damage control, making the situation go away as soon as it arose, but to Jihoon the damage had been done. He felt like an irrational idiot being hurt by this, but he needed to be away from you for a few days. You hadn't done anything to him, but he couldn't see you right now without feeling pain. He was punishing you with no proper justification, but his feelings were too strong for him to put up with.

A little over an entire day went on like this, with no communication from Jihoon to anyone. He was surprised no one had come looking for him until now, the moment in which bangs against his front door could be heard all the way from his room. Whoever was looking for him had made liberal use of the doorbell too, not giving him a single break from its constant ringing as he tried to ignore it. He finally grew too tired of it, deciding to give up his moping and going downstairs to beg that person to leave him alone to his misery. He still needed a few days before he could go face his reality. He couldn't face you just yet.

Except the choice had been made for him. His first mistake had been not checking the doorbell camera, which would've made him privy on who exactly was knocking on his door. He felt bad at thinking this, but had he known it was you, he never would've opened it.

He was beyond embarrassed at his appearance, once more wearing a three-day-old shirt and his cheeks damp with the tears he hadn't yet wiped away. You, on the other hand, looked as beautiful as ever. You carried a worried look on your face, lips pouty and eyebrows furrowed as you looked at him. He was not given time to welcome you in before you barged in for yourself, launching yourself at him in a tight hug before he could say anything. He wasn't an idiot, and he was too weak for his liking, so he held you back just as tight, enjoying a good three or so minutes of silence as you held each other.

You pulled away too soon for his liking, unhooking your face from the crook of his neck as you spoke up, still holding onto him, "Jihoon ... I'm so sorry. It's- it's not what you think, I swear. Please believe me."

He wasn't sure why you were so apologetic. You didn't owe him anything. He felt like even more of a loser at making you feel like you had to apologize for having a boyfriend. He knew that by now there was no way you didn't know about his crush on you, which made him feel even more humiliated at the situation. He separated himself from you for the first time ever, creating some distance as he refused to look at you. He took this chance to close the door he had left open when you had attacked him with your embrace.

"You don't have to ..."

"No, Jihoon. Listen to me. Please."

Your eyes were glossy now, and Jihoon felt bad at causing you any distress, so he signaled at you to continue.

"It's not- it isn't what you think. Yeah, I ... I did have a ... a thing with that guy. I know Hybe denied it being me, but you know- you know it's me. But it's not how it looks!"

"Then ... what is it?", he couldn't believe he was even letting himself ask that question, as if you had to explain yourself to him. But part of him really wanted to know. He wanted to somehow hear you say that it wasn't true, that you would never look at anyone but him.

"It's an old picture. He- he used to work for our group, as staff. We had a thing. It ended badly. Haven't really dated since then. This was before I met you, Jihoon, please, I need you to know that."

"You .. Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you need me to know that?", he hoped against all hope that you'd answer with what he'd been wanting to hear since he met you, but he knew he was playing with the devil when asking you that. He knew there was a very logical chance that you'd just confirm your platonic feelings for him, or straight up reject him.

"You know, Jihoon. I know you know. I- I'd never do that to you. I'd never look at anyone but you."

"Do you-"

"Yes', you paused, 'I like you, Jihoon."

And then his heart stopped beating.

"So much. Since we met. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since the day we met. I like you so fucking much. I can't think of anything else. I thought it was just because I've always been a fan of yours, but ... being around you just made me feel so happy. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. Fuck, I'm sorry I made you feel like there was someone else in the picture."

He didn't know what to say. You'd said everything he had wanted to hear for the past two months. You liked him. It wasn't one-sided. There was nothing stopping him from making you his now. Those feelings he thought had been fake for the portrayal of your song's concept had been genuine all along. He'd never felt such relief.

"Jihoon? Is it not ...? Fuck. Did I misread everything? Shit, I'm sorry. I should, uh, I should go-"

Fuck. No! He needed to reciprocate, he just had no idea how. He couldn't have you thinking he wasn't equally (if not more) obsessed with you. So he did the one thing he could think of in that moment. Something he had imagined time and time again, but never had the courage to do.

You yelped against him as he pulled his lips to yours, but immediately began kissing him back. There was nothing tender about the kiss as Jihoon would've expected. It was a complete mess from the start. The kiss was a testament to how badly you'd both wanted each other this whole time.

Jihoon felt lightheaded at the feeling of your tongue sneaking its way into his mouth, and the moans that accompanied it. He couldn't help but feel immediate arousal at your touch. He wasn't sure how to kiss you. He'd never shared such a passionate exchange before, but he wanted to give you everything in him with his kiss.

You only pulled away when you were out of breath, still keeping yourself as close to him as possible as you breathed into each other's mouths, your lips lightly closing over his as you regained your breath.

"Hoonie ..." the sound of your breathless voice muttering his name did shameful things to him. There was no way he could handle a conversation right now.

"Tell me- tell me you like me. I need to know. Please ..." the sheer lust and desperation in your voice were things that would never leave Jihoon's mind.

"So much. I li- I love you. You have no idea. Every day was agony not acting on it. I'm sorry if it's too much, but it's true. I've never felt this way before. I'm in love with you. The thought of you with someone else made me wanna give everything up. It's ... God, I just love you."

You didn't seem to need any more words before closing the gap again, this time backing him up against the nearest wall as you kissed him with all your might. You took full control of the kiss, grabbing his cheeks and angling him so you could play with his lips as you saw fit. He moaned and writhed against you, shyly attempting to hold onto your waist but not actually daring to. You must've caught wind of his intentions, grabbing onto his hands and forcing them on your waist, pressing your chest up against his. He began to caress your waist, falling in love with the slope of your back in the process. He was still shy with his movements, but his lips were nothing but. He adored your soft sighs against his lips any time his tongue would suckle on yours, or any time his teeth nibbled on your bottom lip.

You must've eventually grown tired of his shy demeanor, grabbing onto his arms and pining them above his head, beginning to softly grind against him as you began to lick and suck at his neck. Jihoon was on cloud nine. His body was unsure of how to react to such pleasure from someone he had already grown so addicted to.

"Hoonie ... want you so bad ... please," his knees buckled at your begging, your warm breath hitting against his ear as he groaned out at the thought of you in his bed.

He was simply a shell of himself at that point, so it had been your responsibility to drag the both of you in the direction he pointed his bedroom was at, but as soon as you were there, you pushed him to lay on the bed. He was ready for whatever you were willing to give him. He had no chance against you anyway.

"Hoonie, shit. Been wanting you for so long. Can I, please?", you'd begun to straddle him, leaning over him as you ghosted over his lips. He swore he wasn't going to make it, body heating up at the mere suggestion of you touching him.

"P-please ..."

You began kissing him again, running your hands up and down his torso, eventually landing on his crotch, softly caressing it as he whined into your mouth.

"Oh? Jihoonie ... You're so hard. Want me to help you?"

"Fuck ... Need you so bad, please ..."

"But we haven't even started to have fun," you moved your hand away, now sitting up a bit to begin grinding against his crotch, deep movements making his eyes roll back as his arms laid limp on his sides.

"Won't you touch me, Hoonie? Don't be shy. You already know how much I want you," you guided his hands to your hips, making him clamp his fingers on the clothed flesh while you moaned out at the feeling of his hard cock gracing your most delicate parts.

You were both beginning to heat up, which led you to throw your shirt off, now only in a bra and some sweats. He audibly moaned at the view, only causing you to play it up for him as you caressed your own covered breasts, "Want me to take my bra off, baby? Hmm?"

"Y-yes. Wanna see you so bad. You're so beautiful."

That was enough for you to wiggle your way out of your pants, throwing off your bra right after. The sight had his cock squirming under you. No amount of lonely nights thinking about you could have ever prepared him for the sight before him. Your soft skin shining under the soft light of the half drawn blinds. He wanted to memorize your body, leave his mark on every inch of it, but his arms would not move from your hips. He knew that the moment he got his hands on you he would finally face insanity. There was not a single detail he wasn't already obsessed with. He wanted you so badly, but he didn't know what to do with himself. His cock was extremely swollen under his sweats, begging to find comfort in any crevice of your body you would allow. The fleeting thought of fucking your pretty tits flew through his mind, making him shudder as he continued to pant at the beautiful girl sitting on him.

"Touch me?", you asked, already guiding his hands to your breasts, making him sit up to be face to face with you.

"Holy fuck ..." he moaned at the warmth of your breasts in his hands. He couldn't help himself in getting his fill of you, hands squeezing and running all over your chest. The moment he dared to pinch at your nipples he truly saw heaven, hearing you whine his name in the prettiest sound he'd ever heard.

"Hoo-Hoonie ... Please. Touch me more. Just like that," you let your head fall back, sighing at the soft touch of his fingers pinching at your nipples, "Your mouth, Hoonie ..."

That was all he needed to lower his head and begin licking at your nipples, biting lightly as he pulled at them, dick twitching desperately at the pretty sounds leaving your lips. He could've sworn he'd cum just from how beautiful you sounded. His ears were ringing by now, only able to process the feeling of your hand pressing his face against your chest and your hips suddenly restarting their movements against his own.

You let him make out with your tits for a bit before pulling him off, much to his dismay. You giggled at his reaction, but began to pout at him to get him to remove his top.

"Shit. God, Hoonie, you're so gorgeous," you breathed out upon seeing his bare chest, running your hands up and down the blank canvas. You let your own fingers pull and pinch at his nipples a bit, slow in your movements as he whined at you. He understood now, how fucking good such a light touch in such a sensitive area felt. He was beginning to lose all air in his brain, mind foggy as you gave him all types of pleasure.

He needed you now. Needed attention in his nether area so bad. He could feel how wet you were through his sweats, softly begging you to please let him have you. The whisper against your ear had you pulling your hands away from his chest, separating yourself enough to look into his eyes.

"Want you too. Can I have it, Hoonie? Fuck ... Will you judge me if I beg? I just ... Want you in my mouth so bad, Hoonie, please."

He felt embarrassed by his reaction, but he couldn't help but moan loudly at that simple sentence, nodding like crazy at the proposition. The last time he'd been in someone's mouth had been years ago. He had felt intimate touch before, but only a handful of times total. He was fully unprepared for what your mouth encompassing him would feel like.

Before he knew it, you had thrown off both his pants and boxers, enticing him to sit at the edge of the bed as you knelt in front of him. You were looking at his cock as if it were your last meal, eyes crossed and a moan leaving your mouth at the sight. He couldn't believe a gorgeous thing like yourself would ever show so much thirst for him. His soul left his body the moment you lowered your tongue onto his tip, kitten-licking at it as you looked up into his eyes. What truly made him lose his mind, however, was the moment you began to bob your head up and down his cock, with your hands playing and scratching at his balls. His hands clutched at the sheets, unable to hold himself in a sat up position due to the unimaginable pleasure. He was unsure how he didn't cum the moment you put your mouth on him (or the moment you kissed him, if he was being honest).

"So- fuck ... So fucking good. You're perfect. Please ..." he wasn't sure what he was begging for. The pleasure was clouding his mind. And then you did something that had him gasping for air. You unglued your mouth from gagging on his cock in favor of licking and sucking at his balls. His eyes rolled all the way back into his brain, back arching against the bed as you took turns licking his balls and worshiping his cock.

Unsurprisingly, he came in your mouth moments later, almost blacking out at the feeling. He was unable to catch his breath for a good minute, all the while you swallowed his seed and sat back on him. Before he was able to resume his breathing, you had already shoved your tongue back in his mouth, making him whine at the mixture of your saliva and his cum twirling in your tongue. He couldn't help his hands running all over your body, hugging and squeezing at every curve he could reach.

"Baby, I-"

"Taste so good, Hoonie, fuck. You have no idea how much I thought about that. Every time you wore those tiny little shorts to dance practice all I wanted to do was kick everyone out and beg you to fuck my mouth."

Jesus Christ. He hated how outspoken you were sometimes. He felt himself begin to harden again at just the simple thought of you wanting him as much as he did you (even though he was 99% sure that was impossible). He felt bad, but he was a bit sad he had cum in your mouth. He had thought of the feeling of your cunt wrapping around him almost every night for the past month. He knew he'd get it sooner or later, but a sinister part of his brain was begging him to flip you around and go to town on you. He might've been inexperienced, but he knew that his body would take him there if he needed it.

"W-wanna ..."

"Hmm? Yeah, baby?", you softly caressed his cheek, looking at him with so much love in your eyes.

"Please ..." he couldn't bring himself to say it. He felt too ashamed at asking for even more out of you when he'd already made you do all the work to confess and even made him have the best orgasm of his life.

"Yeah, Hoonie? Want me? Want you too. You have no idea ..." he thanked god the moment you started grinding against his bare dick yet again, leaning down to lick at his lips, "Can I ride you, baby? Please ... Been dreaming about it."

All he could do was whine and nod as his hands squeezed at your ass, trying to entice you into lifting your hips so you could finally sit on his now hardened dick.

No words left his mouth as you finally lowered on him, all his focus on the pretty expression on your face as you moaned out at the feeling of being impaled by him. His back arched, head digging back into the mattress at the feeling of your cunt tightening around him. He felt your back arch too as you leaned down to kiss him, mouths open as you whined and mewled at each other.

You began humping him with no proper rhythm, causing him to thrust upwards to meet your own grinds. He was so desperate for you. Nothing compared to how good he felt in that moment. Your body was drawing all types of pleasure out of him.

"F-feel so good. Hoonie ... You're so- Ah! So fucking good for me."

"Me? You ... Shit. Never felt this good. You're perfect," you tightened at his words, making him plant his feet on the bed and begin to frantically fuck upwards, leading you to scream and whine his name for all his neighbors to hear.

"Love you so much- Fuck! Been wanting you forever. Didn't know how hard I'd fall for you that day, shit. You're everything to me," he couldn't help himself in rambling yet another confession in your ear as you attempted to match the animalistic pace of his thrusts.

"Love you too, Hoonie. You have n-no idea. Never letting you go. You- you're mine now," and yours he wanted to be forever.

Jihoon had never imagined he'd feel love like this as long as he was alive. He had lost hope in finding the perfect girl many years ago, assuming his lifestyle to be too difficult for him to find someone to love him so strongly, but now he had you. Now he had you in his arms as you professed your love for one another. He had never felt such happiness. His ability to think left him soon after, however, as you clamped down on him with yet another scream of his name as you found your end, taking him with you in his own.

After the two minutes or so that it took you to regain your breaths, you managed to cuddle up against each other, unable to stop caressing each other in one way or another. The smiles wouldn't leave your faces. Jihoon couldn't help but think of his life; how he had everything a man could ever want, and now he had you on top of all that, and you'd quickly become his favorite thing. You spent the rest of the day in his bed, making love and waxing poetic at one another. You completely disregarded any collab preparations for the day, opting instead to finally give into each other to the fullest extent.

Soon after, all promotions finally ended. You and Jihoon received equal accolades on your ability to mix both your styles, achieving a successful collaboration between two monster producers. The praise over being all rounders was also endless, as people commended you both for the production, vocals, dance, visuals and chemistry demonstrated all throughout the promotional period.

People noticed how comfortable you were around each other, despite having never publicly interacted before the release date of the single. People believed it was simply amazing work ethic being showcased by the two of you, but what didn't meet the public eye was the genuine love and enjoyment behind every interaction. The two of you had made it a point to begin appearing publicly together often from then on (strictly as friends to anyone who asked, of course), which allowed you to hide your relationship in plain sight.

Jihoon had never been happier, now having you as yet another companion to visit him at his Universe Factory any time he would lock himself in there to work, a habit that began to diminish as he grew more and more addicted to your company outside the confinement of those four walls.

Today was yet another one of those occasions, as you were sharing yet another meal together at the Hybe cafeteria. Staff was mostly unaware of the nature of your relationship, but you two liked it that way.

"Hey," you called out to him as you played around with his phone.

"Hmm?"

"Did you see this email from Bumzu?", he shook his head in denial, "He said Hybe's requesting your help producing for Gyu's collab with Jungkook. Cause of how well ours did."

"Yeah?", he chuckled, "Gonna have to talk to him. Not doing it without you."

"Oh, really?", you grinned at him, "Wanna team up again?", you leaned closer to him, but not too close to draw suspicion from the few other idols and staff around who were eating there.

"Mhm. You did most of the work. Couldn't've done it without you."

He knew that to be completely true, as he would've remained in his slump had you not come out of left field to make his life do a 180.

"Wanna team up with you for the rest of my life."

You smiled at him. He could see in your eyes you wanted to show some sort of affection towards him, but could not due to the public setting. All it took was one look between you for him to know you felt the same. You held his hand under the table, going back to conversation about your next possible collaboration together with your other labelmates, happy to have found a soulmate in one another.

a/n: idk how other writers are putting out 20k+ words monsters jesus christ. anyways i rlly hope u enjoyed <33 this concept had been plaguing my mind for a while so im rlly happy to have finally finished it!!

[finelinefae]

soft

synopsis: girls with cute tummies and soft thighs and extra chub in different places can also date hot popstar boys okay? okay.

word count: 2.1 k

contains: plus size reader, non au harry, fluff, mentions of body image and insecurities, harry being obsessed with his girlfriend

A/N: the start of a new thing called 'soft girl sundays' which I'm starting !! i wrote this for wp a few months ago but it's one of my fave things I've written so I'm re-posting it here. it's cheesy and fun and harry's obsessed with his girl !! i know for a lot of us girlies sometimes it feels like we take up too much space and we're always made to feel smaller mentally, physically, in every way really but you have much of a right to be here as everyone else so take up alllll the space u need !! women are beautiful and majestic no matter their size 💘

. . .

My girls' in the audience tonight.

I look past the curtain across the stage and see her in the VIP section.

Even without the stage lights shining on her, she's glowing.

She's wearing a shirt with my initials stitched over her heart and every time she lifts her arms, I see her soft tummy and the dimples on her back when she spins. Her thick thighs are on show as she wears the smallest pink skirt known to man. Her hair falls past her shoulder and down her back and her cute cheeks turn pink as she smiles when she speaks to some of the team who stand with her. 

She's the living embodiment of the divine feminine and I can't ever seem to get over the fact that she's all mine. 

The music begins to play and I watch as her face lights up with excitement. She's seen this show over a few dozen times but she never fails to be just as excited as the first time she saw me walk on stage with a hickey on my neck that she'd put there moments before.

When it's my queue, I skip onto the stage and my ears nearly burst as the sound of people screaming over the music starts to fill the stadium. She's smiling, she's cheering, she's singing the words to every single song. She's so pretty and she's all I see.

When the show ends, I walk backstage to my dressing room. Normally I'd run into a car and get the Hell out of there before crowds of people start to fill up the streets to get home, but this time, Y/N was here and I knew how much anxiety she felt whenever we had to rush to be somewhere.

I walked in and accepted the compliments from my team after another successful show. Paris was a city I held close to me so it was always a fun time when we played.

I gulped down a glass of water and felt arms snake around my waist. I immediately grinned when I saw the lilac-painted nails that matched my very own. I feel her nuzzle her face into my back before I twist in her embrace and look into the eyes of the girl I love with everything in me.

"Hi baby," I whisper, stroking her cheek that still had glitter on it.

"Hi Harry," Y/N murmurs, her eyes tired but full of happiness.

"Y' okay?" I hold her, feeling her soft skin beneath my hand. She was so soft and cuddly.

"I'm okay." She smiles, lazily. "You did so good up there. I nearly cried,"

I laugh, "You always nearly cry."

"That's because I'm proud of you." She shrugs.

We sit on the couch and she straddles my lap, her skirt riding up and I nearly choke when I catch a glimpse of her lacy underwear. I put my hands on her thighs and squeeze them softly. "You excited for our trip tomorrow?" I asked, staring at her lips and suddenly feeling the temptation to kiss them. I did and she happily accepted.

We had a few days before the next show so we decided to head down to the South of France and spend a few days in Nice. We haven't been on a trip together in a while other than the tour locations so we made the most of the little time we had in between shows to spend as much time as we could together.

She nods, "I bought a new swimsuit just for the occasion."

I groan, my head falling back against the couch, "You kill me."

She giggles, "love you."

I immediately smile. "I love you too," I kiss her.

The morning after the show, we woke up early to make our flight down to Nice. Y/N whines the entire time because she's not a morning person and refuses to step one foot out of bed until I force her.

She sleeps on my chest the entire journey there, wearing an oversized hoodie with the hood up. "My whole heart is inside y'." I murmur as her cheek presses against my chest and makes her lips all pouty, light snores falling from them. I lightly push some of her baby hairs back from her face and trace my thumb over the soft skin of her cheek.

We arrive and head straight to our room at the hotel to drop our bags off before heading to the beach. Y/N immediately opens the doors to the balcony and gasps when she looks out at the view. "Harry, it's beautiful," Y/N says in awe.

I come up behind her and wrap my arms around her tummy, squeezing the softest part of her. I loved all the parts of her but her tummy was my absolute favourite. She always complained about it. How it stuck out when she wore tight clothing and even more so after eating. 'Harry I already have a tummy? Why punish me further by making it bigger after I eat? Seems unfair don't you think?'  I'd spend the whole journey home telling her how beautiful she looked and how I loved watching her enjoy the food she loves and then I'd hold her in bed and run circles on her little, bloated belly because I had made it my life's mission to show as much love to the little chub of a tummy she had.

I pull on my swim shorts and a white linen shirt, leaving the buttons undone. I pack my beach bag for our beach towels and my book as well as my film camera and sun lotion.

Y/N walks out of the bathroom. Her hair in loose curls from the heat and her face already sunkissed and pretty. My mouth falls open when I take in the small, blue bikini on her body, revealing her soft curves and every perfect inch of her.

"Do you like it?" She blushes, acting like she's not the hottest girl I've ever seen in my entire life.

It tied at her waist and around her neck, my immediate thought being how easy it would be to take it off her and spend the entire day in bed, making out or whatever. I honestly couldn't care less as long as she's there.

"Baby," I dropped the bag on the floor and made my way towards her, pinching her chin between my thumb and forefinger and tilting her head back so I could kiss her at the perfect angle.

She whines and the sound nearly has me dropping to my knees. "You're fucking unbelievable."

"You really think so?" She bites back a smile, "You don't think I need to hide my stretch marks?" My heart aches at how unsure she sounded, the fact she even had to ask made me want to pick her up and kiss each stretch mark on her body.

"No, my love," I shake my head, kissing the stretch marks at the top of her left breast and feeling her heart racing at the delicate touch. "You have absolutely nothing to hide from anybody. Y' beautiful and you're mine,"

She smiles and kisses me again.

We head down to the beach to the reserved sunbeds. Y/N lays out her towel and sits down to apply sun cream to her arms and legs. I help her do her back, massaging her shoulders and trying not to combust as she rolls her head to the side and moans at the feeling.

I literally have a crush on this woman.

And she's my fucking girlfriend.

What did I do to get this lucky in life?

"Let's go in the water baby," I held her hand and we walked to the water, stepping in together.

She wraps her arms and legs around me when we're deep enough in the water. I squeeze her ass and she gasps, swatting me gently. "What?" I look at her innocently.

"There's people watching." She hides her face in my neck and I turn us both around to catch sight of the paparazzi hiding behind the trees and snapping pictures of us.

I release a sigh and pull her face back to get a better look at her. If there was one thing that could make my girlfriend second guess herself, it was the paparazzi constantly posting her pictures online and allowing people to berate her for how she looked.

"Please don't let them ruin your day my love," I kiss her shoulder, still holding her in my arms. "I promise, you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

"You promise?" She pouts.

"Feel this," I reach for her hand and guide her to the small bit of chub on my hip.

She gasps, "You have chub too!"

I rolled my eyes but smiled at the same time, her excitement was adorable. "Everyone's got something they're insecure about. No matter how hard I've tried I can't seem to get rid of it, maybe it's from all the cakes you've been making but how am I meant to say no to such a pretty face?"

She squeals in delight when I pinch her sides and giggles as I press kisses to her face. "Wanna go and sunbathe for a little, baby?" She nods and we both walk out of the water so she can sit in the sun for a bit.

I spend more time in the water and come out to find Y/N verging on the brink of sleep. I smirk as I crawl between her legs and lay between her thighs, sighing softly as I turn my head away from the sun and press a kiss to her inner thigh. She reaches down and runs her fingers through my wet hair, her nails scratching my scalp.

After midday, I order food to be sent up to our room. Y/N's passed out on the sunbed so I gently shake her awake, "Hi baby," Her pretty eyes flutter open, "Need you to drink something darling, you've been in the sun for a while." She slowly sits up and rubs her eyes with the back of her hand. I unscrew the cap of the water bottle and pass it to her, watching as she almost drinks the whole thing.

"I got us room service to be delivered. Want to head back upstairs for a bit?" Her cheeks were red and her hair was all frizzy due to the humidity. She nodded and we packed our things up and made our way back to our hotel room.

Our food was already laid out on the balcony by the time we walked into the room. I had left the air conditioning on so the room was nice and cool since Y/N struggled to sleep when it was too hot and stuffy.

She was wearing my linen shirt over her bikini and I couldn't help but stare at her ass as I followed her to the table outside.

There was fruit, bread and pastries laid out on a spread at the table as well as a glass of red wine and some orange juice. Y/N sat on one of the chairs with one leg hitched up as she ate some of her baguette and cheese, her favourite snack to eat when we were in France.

"Are you having fun, my love?" I asked, taking a bite of fresh watermelon.

She nods quickly, "It's the best. Anytime with you is always the best,"

"Come sit here," I motion and move my chair out, patting my thigh. She doesn't hesitate and stands up to sit down on my lap.

I kissed the back of her neck and put one hand on her hip, my thumb traced the edge of the waistband of her bikini bottoms, slipping under the material to trail soft circles over her hip bones.

"I'm keeping you forever, I hope you know that," I murmur, appreciating this intimate moment between us which didn't happen as often as I liked them to but we made do.

"I hope so," She whispers.

I loved this girl for all she was. There is nothing in this world that could change just how much I adored her.

"Harry," She says my name, "This bikini is pretty easy to take off you know."

I choke, eyes widening and seeing the smirk on her face. I pick her up, her legs wrapping around me and her ankles locking behind my back. "Is that a challenge or a request?" I kiss her lips, tasting the saltiness of the sea on them.

"Both," She says in between kisses.

This girl. 

[hells-wasabii]

Heyy!! Can I request SFW and NSFW headcanons for Angel dust x reader pls?😇 Thank you love!!🫶🏼

A/N: this time around we get to touch more on the angstier side of the relationship. Once again, I have written these with a male reader in mind, but anybody can read them. Also, while writing this i listened to Blake Roman’s New Side Of Me for the first time and holy shiiiiit I really might’ve found a new song for my top 5 faves, such an amazing song

Part 1 | Part 2

Character: Angel Dust

Type: Headcanons (Angel Dust x reader, Angst, Fluff, NSFW)

Your relationship was admittedly a little rocky in the beginning until the two of you found a proper rhythm among yourselves. As I've said before, he'll absolutely try to shield himself through being overly flirty, but please, when he's flirting for real, give him back the same energy. He loves a good back-and-forth.

You hated the way Valentino treated him, of course you did. But you knew there wasn't much you could do about it other than offer Angel all of your support outside of the studio. He greatly appreciates this of course, so please spoil him. And make sure to remind him how much you love him and that he deserves to be spoiled. Granted, he may diffuse you with faux over-confidence if there are others around, but truly, he does appreciate it. He'll be sure to let you know later.

One thing about addiction is that it is NOT easy to deal with, especially when trying to overcome it. Withdrawals can be hell, and Angel is not an exception. He cherishes that you'll lay there with him during the worst of it, covered in sweat and shaking. You're sure to let him know that you'll see him through his lows, just as you'll see him through his highs.

He's hard to actually fluster, but the best way to actually do so is by being genuine with your love for him. He greatly appreciates acts of service and gifts. But sometimes the best way to communicate your love for him is to out right tell him. Words of affirmation are heavy hitters for Angel, especially with how he was raised. He wouldn't get praised unless he had done something to earn it unless it came from his sister or mother.

WARNING NSFW below!

Due to him being a porn star, Angel, regardless of the fact that he doesn't mind it, advises against leaving any marks. Valentino was not happy the one time that the two of you had slipped up. You would never actively try to put Angel in harm's way, so you'll comply.

While he can play the part of switch with no problem, he's a power bottom at heart. He doesn't have a whole lot of control in the studio, so when it comes to intimacy with you that's exactly what he'll be. If it's something your open to, as he won't do so without talking to you first and foremost, he will do everything in his ability to make you beg for release.

But that's not exactly what it's about either. Sure, that's a plus side, but honestly, he really does enjoy making you feel good, just as much as he likes feeling good.

[gemsofgreece]

speaking of greek films, do you have any recommendations? maybe even of the romcom variety? i've only seen zorba

And here's me whose ass still hasn't watched Zorba and even more embarrassingly I kinda thought it was a fully American movie adapting the Greek novel with some Greeks contributing, like actress Irene Papas and the music score by Mikis Theodorakis. It turns out you're right though, the film was directed, written and produced by the Greek filmmaker Michael Cacoyannis but then it was distributed by 20th Century Fox so it was a Greece - USA production.

I don't know if you can speak or are learning Greek though because Zorba was a co-production and it was mostly in English but a fully Greek production is in Greek and most don't get subtitled for international audiences. I will give you some personal recs but I can't guarantee you will find subtitles easily or you will have to do some severe digging. I have made the recs in an older answer so I am linking that post:

I will give a more updated rec list too:

Faves of mine:

From the link above the ones I would advice one to not miss are:

Η Κάλπικη Λίρα (The Counterfeit Coin, 1955). It's not only my favourite Greek movie but it's also in the All Time Top 100 Best Movies of International Cinema list of some very legit major institution that I am forgetting now XD It's a social dramedy with top tier comedians and drama actors co-starring and it's basically four different life stories connected through the same counterfeit coin.

Αχ, αυτή η γυναίκα μου! (Oh, that wife of mine!, 1967) It's a situational comedy. It's hilarious but if you don't know Greek, I don't know how well it translates to a different language. Man desperately wanting a promotion gets in a chaotic situation when his playboy boss first gets outraged and then obsessed with his wife, without knowing her true identity.

 5 λεπτά ακόμα (5 minutes more, 2006) I still think this movie is very underrated. It's a metaphysical philosophical dark dramedy with a great understated score. You can find it on youtube, obviously without English subtitles and with bad quality but hey at least it's on youtube! A morally neutral man with jealousy issues dies and is given five more minutes in the mortal world, which will determine his afterlife.

Το Τανγκό των Χριστουγέννων (Christmas Tango, 2011). Romantic drama. A soldier gets unintentionally entagled in the unrequited / forbidden romance of his mysterious aloof commander. Now this movie has a queer element. It does not have a queer happy end but it has both straight and queer themes and honestly it's a beautiful movie. You can find it on youtube.

Ρεμπέτικο (Rembetiko, 1983). Drama. The tragic life of a female singer of the then underground Rembetiko music scene, the music genre the Greeks of Asia Minor brought along after the Asia Minor Catastrophe and the population exchange between Turkey and Greece in the first half of the 20th century. Personally, I am not crazy about this movie but this doesn't mean necessarily anything because it gets good reviews in imdb even outside Greece. But I personally recommend it for its INSANE score and songs. These songs have become emblematic in the Greek music scene. The composer, Stavros Xarhakos, makes a cameo in the movie.

I still recommend the other recs in the old list too, especially the comedies. Also, like I have said, you can't go too wrong with Greek comedies of the 50s-60s in general. Since I said that, here's a list of faves and critics' choices of Greek movies from the 50s-70s.

Some other faves not in the old lists:

Το χώμα βάφτηκε κόκκινο (Blood on the Land, 1966). A Greek Western! Who would have thought but it is good! When I say western, I don't mean Cowboys vs Natives of course, but I mean land property disputes, rural, animosity gets out of hand, social class inequality etc etc and it is actually linked to Greek social history of the 20th century. And finally a Greek movie that takes good advantage of the Meteora. The movie was a nominee for best foreign film in the Oscars .

Strella, 2009. This is a strictly 18+ movie. It is a queer movie BUT it is also a very edgy movie, like, it can be perceived as extremely edgy no matter if you are a member of the LGBTQIA+ community or not. It's not the imagery that makes it edgy but the plot at some point takes a serious left turn. So, only watch if you're into weird cinema territory. I have warned you. Personally I am not into weird cinema but I liked this one. Man gets out of prison after years of incarceration for committing a murder. He befriends and soon gets into a relationship with a trans female sex worker. The protagonist, Mina Orfanou, is actually a trans woman and she was really praised for her performance in this.

Ιφιγένεια (Iphigenia, 1977). Directed by Michael Cacoyannis like Zorbas, this is a movie about the myth of the sacrifice of Iphigenia, Agamemnon's daugher, with an all-Greek cast. It is kind of those theater-to-movie films so don't expect Troy level of production. It has very minimal sets. Also, it's the 70s, the bible and sandal era, so the costumes are really anachronistic and inaccurate but other than that it is a good movie. It was nominated for the Oscar for foreign language film. And it's on youtube with English subtitles.

A few other recs:

Antigone (1961). Even more than Iphigenia, this is almost pure theatre filmed. The acting is theatrical, the staging is theatrical, it's all just theatre really. This is a very loyal adaptation of Euripides' Antigone. The acting is very good.

America America (1963). A movie by Greek American filmmaker Elia Kazan that I haven't watched yet but it is very famous. Biographical historical drama, inspired by Kazan's uncle. The struggles and feats of a Greek of Anatolia, Ottoman Empire (modern day Turkey) trying to secure a passage to America in the late 19th - early 20th century. It is an Academy Awards winner.

Πολίτικη Κουζίνα (A Touch of Spice, 2003). The life of a boy and his relationship to his beloved grandfather, who instilled in him the love for cooking and astronomy, as they part ways when the boy and his parents are deported from Turkey after the ongoing tensions started from the incidents of the Istanbul pogrom in 1955, while the grandfather is able to legally stay behind. I wouldn't put this movie in my faves but it is very aesthetically pleasing and has a wonderful score. It is also an introduction to the special historical bond Greeks have with Constantinople / Istanbul and the tragic story of it all.

Έτερος Εγώ (Heteros Ego / The Other Me, 2016). Crime Mystery. This movie is very popular. I think it's overrated but you can judge for yourself. It is on youtube. I personally liked more the TV series that was its continuation (the first two seasons only, because the third was horrible). It is suitable for 17+ audiences. An eccentric criminology professor is summoned to investigate murder cases where the murderer cites quotes by Pythagoras.

Man of God, 2021. If you are a Christian / religious, watch it. I would like this movie more if the director had not forced all the cast to perform in English in order to make an international screening. It takes away from their performance because it is so unnatural and illogical. But otherwise it is an interesting topic and the actors try their best despite that massive handicap. This is the true story of Saint Nektarios of Aegina island and his unfair defamation by the rest of the clergy.

Η Φόνισσα (The Murderess, 2023). Unfortunately this movie does not hold a candle to the original novel of Alexandros Papadiamantis written in 1903 - quite possibly the first feminist literary work written by a man - but it is your next best alternative unless you can read the book or a translation of it. In this case, totally skip the movie and read the book, which is excellent and my favourite Greek novel. But if you watch the movie, just know it took many liberties for the worse. It has good acting and cinematography though. The story explores the life and mind of Frankoyannou, a hardened peasant woman, as more and more female infants and young girls are found murdered in her village, including her own grand-daughter.

Miss Violence, 2013. This movie is incredibly disturbing and I wish I could forget what I saw. If you like disturbing cinema, obviously 18+, watch it. It sickens you to the core though. An ordinary 11 year old girl commits suicide the day her ordinary family celebrates her birthday. Minute by minute we learn more about the family though and minute by minute we realise this is not a regular family AT ALL.

More weirdness. If you actually do like weird cinema, then you can also explore Yorgos Lanthimos' old Greek movies. These are easier to find since Lanthimos is globally famous now. Dogtooth was his Greek movie that was a nominee in the Oscars. But he has a couple more. (By the way, Miss Violence makes Dogtooth seem like a My Little Pony episode.)

More length. Theo Angelopoulos was an acclaimed Greek director, famous for his slow lengthy movies that explore philosophical and other themes. Several movies of his are acclaimed internationally. His most awarded ones are Ο Θίασος (The Travelling Players, 1975), Ταξίδι στα Κύθηρα (Voyage to Cythera, 1984), Το βλέμμα του Οδυσσέα (Ulysses' Gaze, 1995), Μια Αιωνιότητα και μια Μέρα (Eternity and a Day, 1998), Τοπίο στην Ομίχλη (Landscape in the Mist, 1988).

More Kazantzakis. Since you have watched Zorba the Greek, a film based on the novel Life and Times of Alexis Zorbas by Nikos Kazantzakis, perhaps you will be interested in two more movies based on other novels of his, even if they are not purely Greek or Greek productions. The first one is the very famous The Last Temptation of Christ (1988) starring Willem Dafoe, directed by Martin Scorsese. The problem is that this movie is often very misunderstood as edgy / anti-Christian / atheist whereas Kazantzakis' intent with his book was kinda the exact opposite so he probably rolls nonstop in his grave with some readings I have seen being made of the movie, even here on tumblr. Scorcese obviously focused more on the edgy factor than Kazantzakis did, further encouraging such misinterpretations but you could still be able to understand the meaning of Kazantzakis' book through the movie, now that I told you that Kazantzakis was essentially a secular theological / Christian philosopher. The other one is Ο Χριστός Ξανασταυρώνεται (Christ Recrucified / He Who Must Die, 1957). A French / Italian production, also featuring the Greek actress Melina Mercuri. A Greek village in Anatolia in 1920 (Modern day Turkey) stages a Passion Play for Easter. Staging the play leads to them rebelling against their Turkish rulers in a way that mirrors Jesus's story. There is also a Greek TV series adapting the novel in 1975 - 1976, which is closer to the book and gets better reviews and you can watch it in the streaming platform I recommend below.

ERTFLIX. Ertflix is the state TV's OTT platform and it is entirely for free, while also available internationally. It has both desktop and app formats and you can also add it to several TV boxes, Chromecast, Roku etc For the free service that it is, it has an abundance of series, movies and documentaries so I can never stop praising it...! There you can find numerous Greek movies / series / documentaries to watch, plus even more foreign stuff with Greek subtitles if you're learning Greek and need to practice. Plus it has interviews, the invaulable archives of the state TV and so much more. In Greece it is not necessary but for using the platform abroad you will have to register as a user but it is entirely for free. Ertflix I love you. Below is a screenshot with some Greek movies available now:

Scroll to the Greek cinema option (or to the Greek series). The site is built in both Greek and English.

Where you can find ERTFLIX:

The aforementioned TV series based on Kazantzakis' novel.

Upcoming movies of Greek interest:

Maria. The biopic of Maria Callas, rather her last years, starring Angelina Jolie. Is Jolie a good casting choice for Callas? Well, no. People say she does a good job in it however. I don't know about that and I am going to be sceptical because I love Maria Callas and I don't think she can be easily (at all) imitated. I 'll watch it though. From the trailer I see Jolie did a very legit job with Callas' speaking manner and accent, this is hopeful. Part of the movie was filmed in Greece too.

The Return. Starring Ralph Fiennes and Juliette Binoche, this is a retelling of the last part of the Odyssey, once Odysseus has returned to Ithaca and has to reclaim his rule and home from Penelope's suitors. It is a realistic retelling, not featuring the gods, based on the trailer I saw. I had my reservations for this casting but Fiennes looks good as old Odysseus IMO and Binoche is a brunette French, of course she can pass easily as a Greek. They are also both good and serious actors and I am sure they give their best in the movie. The drawback is that it's like we return to the 70s with these poor and anachronistic costumes and sets. And also aside from the protagonists, who would have thought there was so much diversity in Ithaca / s, a REAL, TINY and REMOTE Greek island. Telemachus looks like the blondest of Swedes and then the Ithacians have apparently descent from Scandinavia to Southeast Asia to central Africa. Amazing. Ithaca, the New York of Bronze Age. At least Fiennes (in this) and Binoche do pass as Greeks... What makes the movie a little promising for me is the amazing physique Fiennes achieved for it: the parts half dead old beggar and parts godly warrior king. He nailed it. The scene with the bow, I know already I will get the chills.

From this alone I know Fiennes is doing a terrific job in this. He is always invested very seriously in his movies.

Anyway, one third of the movie is shot in Greece and ERT (the Greek State TV) is actually a co-producer (a rarity with international movies of Greek mythological interest nowadays), so once it's done from movie theaters, it is going to be available for free on ERTFLIX... apparently globally. I so hope this movie does not disappoint me.

A lot of these can be found in links in greek-movies.com but you didn't hear it from me.

[agrlsname]

Thank you @therealsaintscully for the tag! I'm soon about to post what might be my very last fic, so it's quite fitting to look back on my journey now.

How many works do you have on ao3?

38 – all Johnlock, except for one GO fic. On New Year's Eve I will post number 39!

What’s your total word count?

371,360 (will soon top it off with another 221 words ;))

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

What Friends Do (by FAR), Who I Really Am (personal fave), The General Idea, Coldness/Heat, Tomorrow's Song

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

At first I responded to every single one! And I still try to respond to every single person. But now, I sometimes only respond to the last one if it's a reader who's commented on every chapter and I get all the comments at once. I like staying connected to the readers, that's one of the most fun parts about fandom!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

It has to be This Is Your Song. I mean, there's another one within a series that end in an angsty cliffhanger, but MCD surely has to take the prize?

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Oh my, nearly all of them have happy endings – so what would count as happier than happy..? Maybe it's actually the one that isn't posted yet – stay tuned for the resolution of the New Year's Kiss series!

Do you write crossovers?

Nope. I've written a fusion though (Johnlock and Moulin Rouge!).

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yup. Some people get really angry at John in What Friends Do and they take it out on me. It's interesting because many MANY others adore the story with all their hearts! I even wrote a sequel from John's POV just to try to get people to understand, but the haters didn't understand anyway.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Even though at the beginning I said I'd never, half of my works are now rated E or M. What kind? Um, is "emotional, gay sex" a genre?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Many of them, into five different languages! Coolest thing ever.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I think I'm too pedantic for that. I've loved working with my beta on some poem translations, though, that The Sky is Full of Fiddles is based on.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

38 fics – you all know it's Johnlock, right? There are others that I love, but nothing can ever compare.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I don't have WIPs! I'm too much of a control freak and perfectionist when it comes to writing – I want to be able to change the beginning when I'm writing the ending. I don't even have unpublished WIPs – I hate the idea of leaving works unfinished. If I was still in those first years of writing frenzy, when I was single and didn't have a child, I'd have expanded on This Time – but as it is, I knew that I wouldn't have the time to do it justice. So I purposely ended on a cliffhanger that would still allow it to stand on its own the way it is.

What are your writing strengths?

Emotions, according to my beta! If you ask me, I'd say describing things – often emotions, I suppose – in new, poetic ways that play on different senses and therefore make them immediate. It's something I love reading myself, anyway, so it's something I've been practicing for... well, decades now. I'd like to think I've gotten at least somewhat good at it.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm weirdly bad at coming up with the small details that aren't important, but needed. A recent example is I needed a character to text another with an invented problem to try to get him to come over. It wasn't at all important what the problem was, but it also couldn't be just anything; it had to be in line with his character. I could not for the life of me come up with this problem myself – eventually my husband did it for me. So those kinds of details in my stories are rarely from my own brain!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Hmm, well, I've tried not to do that. As a reader I find it annoying to have to look things up, or scroll down to the notes. I have three fics in which characters aren't English; in This Is Your Song I added a couple of "Bonjour"s for flavour, which is about as far as my own French knowledge reaches... In the Fiddles series they're Swedes and speak my mother tongue, but I've written everything in English except for the words that English doesn't have (like for example "polska", a kind of dance), and at the very end, some song lyrics that are then translated into English in the end notes that come immediately after. I did want to add that song for flavour, but I didn't want it to be annoying.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Johnlock! I started in the aftermath of season 4 back in January 2017 and then couldn't stop.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I'm wondering whether I will come back to fic writing at a later point, but for another fandom. I've long wanted to write more for GO, although I already have written one fic. It would probably be a lot of fun to write for OFMD too. Doctor Who maybe? I don't know, it intimidates me to write for a new fandom where I don't yet know the characters as well as I know Sherlock and John.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This question is too cruel! There are so many of them that I love. Maybe I have to say The Sky is Full of Fiddles, after all – it holds such a special place in my heart for many reasons that go beyond the story itself (although that's true for several fics). Other faves are Your Daughter, The Zebra Sheets and of course Who I Really Am, which I'm liking enough to turn it into a novel I'm now trying to get published. See, I couldn't pick one!!

I'm on Tumblr way too sporadically to have any idea of who's already done this and who hasn't, so I don't dare tag anyone... Feel free to take it and tag me if you feel like it!

[alllgator-blood]

Man people gotta have bees in their brain or didn't play the game, Heket really cares about her family. She made me regret killing Leshy, I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS YOUNGEST UNTIL NARINDERE THATS SJAKSIHDKD SORRY *sobing*

Also what song is your favorite from the hymns of the unholy album? For me it's between CHAOS and FAMMINE

THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THE GAME TBH I FELT SO BAD RIPPING THE FAMILY APART THE FIRST TIME. I LOVE FEELING BAD FOR ANTAGONISTS!! I PLAYED IT AROUND WHEN IT CAME OUT SO I COULDN'T EVEN REUNITE THEM IN MY FIRST CULT, THEY WERE JUST DYING IN PURGATORY FOREVER. My unholy alliance update cult is called "nepotism" where all the regular cultists live in sleeping bags, get shitty food and have to work all day while the special characters + bishops have all the good shit and just hang out drinking all day LMAO

As for the album, I still can't pick which one is my fave, it's tied between three tracks....I forgot to do my tier list I mentioned, so I'm gonna write my thoughts beneath the cut. I'm glad you mentioned famine specifically because I feel like that one is kinda slept on tbh!!! TL;DR is that heket + shamura + narinder's songs are tied for my favorites for varying reasons

In terms of what song I think should be people's introduction to the album/the most easily digestible one, definitely cult. 100% it's the one that I showed my friend + sister and they thought it sounded the best on the first listen. It's faithful to the original motif and the writing is solid. I could NOT stop listening to it when it dropped, and was so excited to hear that the one with the music video wasn't even the full version so we got more of it when the album dropped....

Chaos is the one that makes me smile when I hear it, because it's SOOO leshy. Like of COURSE his song would sound like that, with the solo at the end and him namedropping himself and saying "my horns are covered by something like fallen leaves" like he doesn't even know his own anatomy. That's SO funny, I didn't like it at first but it 100% grew on me and I love it now

Famine has the best moment out of any of the songs imo, the "make your peace, creature" part goes harder than any other single moment in the album. I feel like she was maybe done the most justice lyrically, that song has the best combination of original lyrics and lines from the game. I actually wish the other tracks were written more like hers, but maybe the fact that hers was so different is what makes me love it so much.

Pestilence is the weakest track for me personally, but I had the biggest reaction to it for the first verses alone where they immediately just use the lines where kall is being a little bitch and begging for mercy. That's the one I wish I could listen to for the first time again, it also gets stuck in my head way more often than the others for some reason

Conquest instrumentally is my favorite by far, but I'm biased cause shamura's theme song is already my favorite boss track. I already talked about why I love this one in the other post so I'll move onto the next one-

Death has the best progression by far, like it's IMPOSSIBLE not to imagine an amv while listening to it. Also the very very end where it gets really fast goes BALLISTIC and is the second-best moment of the entire album. Honestly I wasn't disappointed at any aspect of this song, I don't think I have any complaints it's 100% hype tbh

I'm very glad you sent this ask in because I wouldn't have gotten a chance otherwise to talk about this album, I'm SO feral over it and the only other music I've listened to since it came out was the new king gizzard song that just dropped (they're my favorite band and that's the only thing that could pry me from cheesy cotl metal)

[barananduen-blog]

FAVORITE CDRAMAS - 2024

This year, I finished 33 dramas (including minis, movies, one variety show, and some left over from previous years). Among those, these were my favorites, including a short "about" summary or an "explain this poorly."

NOTES

All of these are ancient costume dramas, unless noted specifically.

I don't care if a drama has a happy or a sad ending, as long as it's well written.

THE STARS: These are the ones that I not only super enjoyed, but also score great on all critical aspects: plot, writing, character depth, visual appeal, and the ability to capture and hold the viewer's attention. ✅Recommend! THE CHECKMARKS: They're great and I really, really enjoyed them, and they made me squee too🥰 but they're not as technically perfect as the ones above. Still awesome dramas, and I recommend them! ✅Recommend! OTHERS I WANT TO TALK ABOUT: They're not a third tier, or an honorable mention. Generally, they're not that great technically, or missed the list by a botched ending, or something in the technical aspects was missing, but I enjoyed them nevertheless and want to talk about them for some reason. Other than that, they're just listed in the order in which I watched them.

SUBTITLES: Please help stop the prejudice against Mango subtitles. Everything I've watched from them this year has had excellent subs.

ON ROMANCE: Though I appreciate it, I'm not really all that much into the romance aspect of dramas. I say this because I know many people watch them specifically for the romance, and I've seen comments asking how soon the couples kiss. At the end of a drama, I tend to not even remember if they kissed or not (unless it was memorable - either because it was a very good kiss or a very bad one😂). So, with that disclaimer said...

THE STARS

"A JOURNEY TO LOVE" Liu Shishi, Liu Yuning, Alen Fang, He Landou, Chen Youwei, Wang Yizhe

I watched half of this in January and it was broadcast after I posted my faves from last year, so it goes in this year's list.

Premise: Emperor is kidnapped. No one really wants to rescue him. Ning Yuanzhou (Liu Yuning) puts together a team of Ocean's Eleven Ning's Six to bring him back, including an assassin, a crossdressing princess, an angry doctor, a womanizing archer, an engineer puppy, and an animal-loving defense specialist.

"LOVE YOU SEVEN TIMES" Ding Yuxi, Yang Chaoyue

Left over from 2023.

Premise: Seven shorter stories strung together by the overarching plot of trying to recover the God of War's powers and figuring out what happened with a powerful evil fairy.

"BELL RINGING" Li Daikun, Song Fangyuan

Mixture of modern and ancient, but modern is main. Twelve 20-ish minute episodes.

Explain it Badly: The tragic story of what happens when you don't read the fine print when signing a (magical) contract. [I reviewed it properly here.]

"THE LEGEND OF SHEN LI" Zhao Liying, Lin Gengxin

Explain it Badly: The goddess of war has become a chicken. An unfeeling immortal feels. This is catastrophic. But first, he buys the chicken.

"IN BLOSSOM" Ju Jingyi, Liu Xueyi

Premise: Coroner gets kidnapped and subjected to a forced face transplant by jealous socialite who wants her boyfriend. Socialite marries coroner's BF but is killed at the wedding. Coroner, who now looks like the socialite, teams up with former boyfriend (who doesn't know about the face swap) to solve cases.

"UNCHAINED LOVE" Dylan Wang, Chen Yuqi

Left over from 2022, actually.

Explain it Badly: The empire's Most Eligible Eunuch, who everyone wants to bed, and the concubine who really Does Not Want to die with the dead emperor. [I wrote about it more properly here.]

"CALL ME BY FIRE - SEASON 4" Singing variety show

Not a drama, but I'd really be remiss if I didn't include it here. The grip this show had one me! I'll just copy what I wrote before:

Explain it Badly: Call Me by Fire is going to ruin me for normal concerts. What do you mean your show doesn't have singing, dancing, playing instruments, Peking Opera, acting a whole cinematographic mini movie with costumes, flying and dancing on wires, fighting live without doubles, the multilevel moving stage burning, explosions, drowning, trees falling, *WHEEEZE!* and fake rain all at once?! ...That explains it pretty well, actually.

I started watching this for Miyavi and then I was HOOKED.

THE CHECKMARKS

"WHITE CAT LEGEND" Ding Yuxi, Zhou Qi, Ding Jiawen, Zhang Yicong, Feng Man, Anwaer Kuddusjan

Explain it Badly: Catboy detective (Ding Yuxi, of course; he has the white cat role pegged) adopts a golden retriever puppy and four other fools to solve cases and get a government job. And then there's the orange cat.

"DRAMATIC SELF-HELP STRATEGY" Jin Zixua, Hao Fushen

Mini-drama from 2023. 25eps x 10min

Premise: Actress transmigrates into a drama she's acting in ... as a character who's about to be killed because her husband has just died! She must save him, solve the mystery of his murder to save herself, break a time loop, and return to the real world.

A hidden gem. The mystery is pretty well done in this drama, which is super rare, especially in minis.

"NANCHENG BANQUET" Wang Youshuo, Zhao Zhaoyi, Xia Ningjun

Explain it Badly: Assassin loses her memory, becomes a cartoon bunny sunny fake eunuch, the emperor's bad-influence bestie, and her grumpy former target's employee. Everyone's lovely. [I explained it properly here.]

"LOVE IN THE DESERT" Alen Fang, Hankiz Omar

A Secret Third Option (Why I liked it): I really enjoyed watching this; it was very different from other costume dramas. From the setting (desert tribes instead of high-society cities) to the soundtrack, to the "This is allowed now?" moments, this was different in a good way. The costumes were so many (about 1 every 2 eps for FL, and a whole bunch for 2FL, + other characters) and every single one of them was top notch; the best I've seen in a cdrama so far.

"LOVE GAME IN EASTERN FANTASY" Esther Yu, Ding Yuxi

Almost a Star: This was a super fun drama. :D It's lighthearted, and the first five episodes are laugh-out-loud funny. Everyone's really nice, even most of the villains - you end up feeling for them as well, and most of them redeem themselves. And all characters are fully fleshed-out, even the mini-villains the party encounters along the way. Esther's costumes are SO pretty, too. [I did a proper review of it here.]

"BLOSSOM" Meng Ziyi, Li Yunrui

Almost a Star: This drama surprised me by doing time travel AND "going against fate" differently. I also liked how, despite looking like it would go in that direction, it wasn't a revenge drama, but the protagonist really tried to make life better for everyone. Good plot, good writing all throughout, good characterization, keeps your interest. The first full-length drama I watch from a director whose minis I enjoy. Definitely recommend!

OTHERS I WANT TO TALK ABOUT

"SECRETS OF THE SHADOW SECT" Hu Yiyao, Lin Zehui

Mini drama. 24 eps x 12 min

Almost a Checkmark. Honestly, I don't remember why this wasn't a checkmark. But I also honestly cannot remember the ending. So maybe that had something to do with it. However, before that, the cinematography and sets were beautiful and the plot was interesting and well-written. The characters were engaging, as well.

"HEART OF ICE AND FLAME" Huang Tingting, Li Daikun

Mini drama. 24 eps x 10 min. Cliffhanger ending.

Ep 24 is a cliffhanger and a hook for a new plot. You can take ep23 as an ending, if you want, I guess. The production value was low, but the plot was good, and the main characters were such endearing dumbasses. The two leads play 3 characters/personas each, and each has their own distinct personality and has iconic moments. ML's main persona (dumb prince) unknowingly marries all 3 of FL's, each for different reasons, and she (in reality a former general) plays along because she wants his heart (literally). Then there's the wizard who's stuck in a snow avalanche but can still send and receive messages. And Chen Zihan, who played Tragicomic Ghost in Word of Honor, plays the mother of scorpions here. TW: If you have a phobia of bugs, probably skip this one.

"BUTTERFLIED LOVER" Rain Lu, Zhao Yiqin

Mini drama from 2023. 22 eps x 20 min

I pretty much try anything from this director because he's honestly top notch. Absolutely stunning works, visually!

Ancient vampires, pretty much. The only reason it didn't rank higher for me was personal - as I mentioned at the beginning of the post, I'm not really into plots that focus only on the romance. But if you enjoy romance plots, I definitely recommend you check this out!

"THE DOUBLE" Wu Jinyan, Wang Xingyue

Almost a Checkmark. Revenge plot and fake identities. For most of the drama, I thought this was amazing, and then I wasn't too thrilled about the ending arc. But the drama was really well done. Visually beautiful, with fun and interesting characters, and multiple, parallel plots, which is something I like. Amidst all the tragedy, it also had two comic relief characters that I enjoyed a lot (the turtle cousin and the attendant who apparently didn't know how to use stairs).

"LOVE'S REBELLION" Zhang Linghe, Jing Tian

Reason to Watch It: Appreciate Zhang Linghe looking 🔥 sometimes evil and sometimes not, and a pretty whale town that reminded me of Kilika from Final Fantasy X (mostly X-2 because of the pastel colors). The characters and their interactions were fun. The villains did a good job being hateable. Pity the frustrating omission of a key fight - what was so problematic about ML's brain-fight with the demon that they had to cut it?? We were left wondering what happened in there.

🔇NSFW Audio! Use headphones while playing video🔇 "MISTAKEN LOVE" Shao Yuqi, Li Daikun

Mini drama. 24 eps x 10 min

A drama that you "watch for the plot" The "plot" = *points at video above* If you watch dramas for the kissing scenes and you don't mind every character being toxic, this is a drama for you.

Really good artistic direction (sets and costumes, camerawork, colors, lighting, music timing, etc.), and honestly the best kissing scenes I've seen in a cdrama (note I did say Chinese drama, and I've only been watching since 2021). And extra kudos to Duan Yixuan for her brave dubbing of FL (note: same voice actress who dubbed Bai Lu in "Till the End of the Moon"). Why "brave?" *points at the video again*😳

"THE STORY OF PEARL GIRL" Zhao Lusi, Liu Yuning

Almost a Checkmark. Would have been a solid Checkmark if not for the last episode. I have nothing against what the last ep told us, but rather against how they told it. It could have been 15-20min long and it would have been stronger for it. I do understand that the dragging was meant as a narrative parallel to how the characters wanted to extend the time they spent together as much as possible (as shown by the very slow soup-drinking and dregs-scraping), but, personally, I lost my patience with the method. Then, on the second half of that ep, it would have been nice if, instead of just showing the meeting from a neutral POV, they'd done it from the protag's POV, letting the viewer experience her emotional turmoil and distraught-ness, much like they did when she was diving for pearls at the beginning. Finally, the very last scene, with the camels, told a story but felt detached; they could have shown an aged version of the character leading into that narration.

I'm currently watching other December releases, but if they make the list, I'll include them in next year's.

[lisimcpisi]

One thing I've always found interesting in Rescue Bots is how each of the bot's have gone to accepting their newfound life on earth. Despite all coming from the same circumstances (all being contained in stasis in the middle of space and being found by Optimus), they each have gone through their own process of accepting that they can never go back home and have a new planet and humans to protect.

Throughout most of the series Blades and Chase are pretty much good with Griffin Rock. In fact, they're pretty much thriving what with how enveloped they are with different aspects of human culture!

Blades is a total pop culture nerd. He loves watching movies, game shows, and cartoons. So much so that it even influences how he sees the real world (thinking that monsters are real and having heatwave hunt them for him). He's even involved on the internet and developed a fan club.

Chase, being a police bot, is extremely passionate about upholding the law and memorizing police codes. He even loves sharing his love for the law this boy hyperfixates to the ends of the earth its so charming. In the episode where everyone on the island starts singing Chase sings a whole song about different police codes and it'smhilarious. When Cody is trying to figure out what he should do for his Lad Pioneers Project, Chase creates a fake game show where he quizzes him on the law. All in all, Chase loves his job and loves learning about human law.

Heatwave, on the other hand, is a complicated case. It's clear that at the start of the series, Heatwave is dedicated to his mission and wants to make Optimus proud, but he is very frustrated by the circumstances he's being put under. He has to hide who he is and pose as an emotionless machine. His partner is selfish and takes all the credit for their rescue work. All the others seem to be content with what they have, but Heatwave isn't. He so much so desires to be a part of Optimus' team on the mainland so he can be part of the action (even though any decepticon could kill him in one shot). There's also been multiple cases where Heatwave requests him and the rescue bots to be reassigned to a mission off planet, much like when the first Morbot "replaces" them in Season 1. And yet despite it, towards the end of the series Heatwave definitely turns over a new leaf. He loves his family and partners, and will fight to hell and back to protect his home.

Boulder, imo, is the perfect medium between Blades/Chase and Heatwave. One of his most endearing traits is how much he adores Earth. Like, he is in LOVE with the place. Right when the bots first arrive on Earth, boulder remarks at how beautiful griffin rock is. One of my fave episodes with boulder is when he discovers a species of bird that was previously extinct and wants to try so hard to protect it from tourists. In the musical episode his entire number is just a love song to Earth and its so adorable. He also actively wants to be a part of the community. He offers people to ask him questions about himself. He does community gardening and tries to sign up for a library card. Though, with how much he loves Earth, there are times when we see he still grieves his life on Cybertron. On the episode where they celebrate All-Spark Day, Boulder looks back on the fond memories he had celebrating on Cybertron, and wants to share his culture with Griffin Rock. Surprisingly, Heatwave turns down the idea, saying that they shouldn't look back on the past and stay focused on their mission.

anyways those are just my thoughts on rescue bots. it's such a well written show and I could talk for hours about what I love about it!!

[meddwlyngymraeg]

I'd love to hear some more happy sounding Welsh songs! can be any genre. also any songs about the sea! diolch!!

Shwmae! Amazingly, you are the literal target audience for Ynys' first album ('Ynys', 2022). Dylan Hughes is from Aberystwyth and spent many years in Cardiff and found himself longing for the seaside he grew up in, and when he finally started writing music as Ynys (he used to be in a cool indie psychedelic band called Race Horses too, if that's your thing), he put together a whole album only to realise how much of it is about the sea. I mean, his band is literally called Ynys (Island)!

Also, he has that wonderful, lush psychedelic pop sound, which I think sounds pretty happy musically, though there are definitely some themes of longing, being lost, culture and language, all that good stuff thrown in too. It's complex, but I still feel it's quite a happy listen!

So some songs from the album I'd recommend - Môr Du (Black Sea), Welcome to the Island (now technically this is an instrumental, don't know where that sits!), There's Nothing The Sea Doesn't Know.

My personal favourite off the album is Caneuon (‘Songs’, references the Gorky's Zygotic Mynci song 'Gegin Nos'—more on them in a sec—and also a pretty happy/reminiscing/wistful song), but the whole album is quite good, and their recent second album Dosbarth Nos also has some lovely songs that lift my mood at least— Aros Amdanat Ti, Gyda Ni, Dosbarth Nos. Also the sea references continue!

I'm linking their Bandcamp page rather than a Spotify because Dylan makes sure to include lyrics and translations on there (and in physical liner notes), if you or anyone else reading this was interested in going into the lyrics! (Also I usually feel like I should give people the option to directly support musicians if they feel inclined, where Spotify pays not even cents for most music.) But these two albums are on streaming if you'd like too!

I've also gotta recommend some Gorky's! Their 1997 album's called Barafundle, named after Barafundle Beach, and while I don't think any of the songs are directly about the sea itself (except like The Barafundle Bumbler, which uh. Your mileage may vary. It’s about a voyeur bloke that sits by the seaside on said beach), but there's Diamond Dew which is such a lovely tune, and while not about the sea, Patio Song (i.e. everyone's favourite Gorky's song) has that lovely outro of 'it is raining, so take my hand, the winter's so long, it takes so much of the earth'. ☔️🌧🌈 Happy music, some of Gorky's work! (Personal fave off the album: Starmoonsun <3)

(Also this song's in English but since we're talking about Gorky's I can't not recommend Spanish Dance Troupe. Gorgeous song.)

There's also the super cool Adwaith, who wrote the song Lan Y Môr. This song is actually a lot older than the album it ended up on, 2022's Welsh Music Prize winning Bato Mato, Adwaith are still the only musicians to win the Prize twice. They wrote the song and released it as a single back in early 2020 and it was following a run of really cool punky Cymraeg singles. Love Adwaith, they're quite cool.

Edit: HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN. The queen of the beaches. Gwenno herself. I guess I hadn’t included her because this isn’t technically a Welsh language album (save for one song, N.Y.C.A.W. (Nid Yw Cymru Ar Werth)). Gwenno is half-Welsh, half-Cornish, and this album was basically written down at St. Ives. This does sound like it, and I love this song Anima!

Hope you like these! People can totally feel free to add on in the notes if I’ve missed something!

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

I was wondering what your thoughts are on what kind of music from our world the Black Clover characters (whichever ones you'd like) would listen to? What is their favourite/least favourite?

Hmmmm.... This is tricky in the sense that our world does have music that would fit the time period in Clover. And while I personally might not be a frequent listener of some of these genres, I'm thinking...

Luck: Would probably listen to a lot of techno, and would find jazz very boring. Even classical can have its moments (I mean there are songs where firing a canon was written in so....)

Magna: Old school rock and roll would be his favourite, while country pop would be a no-no to him (I'm specifically thinking about Taylor Swift)

Nozel: I can't quite put my finger on it, but I think... he might enjoy Mozart (tell me you can't imagine Nozel playing that in his office), but the funny answer/headcanon here is that his secret guilty pleasure (?) is listening to Britney Spears. But rap he detests

Fuegoleon: ...I can see him listening to Beethoven but modern rock/metal would also be within his repertoire, but techno or pop, or any generic club music he wouldn't understand or particularly enjoy

Yami: I have no idea what to call it, but whatever this is; modern music using shamisen. Meanwhile he wouldn't really vibe with most of popular mainstream music (again clubbing music). Too loud and unintelligible

Mereoleona: Metal, or heavy metal maybe. I'm thinking something along the lines of Halestorm , and she'd hate anything that she would consider "boring", but I don't think she'd be that particular about genres

Charlotte: I think she'd... enjoy pop but she would be very particular about what kind of pop. My first thought was along the lines of this so Ariana Grande, but similarly I think she would most also hate some music within the same genre for their lyrics

Zora: I have absolutely nothing to reason this with, but Zora would unironically listen to Rihanna and would scoff at any work of classical music

Rades: For some reason, ever since I asked about y'all about what you think is the theme song of your fave, I've come to think that this would be among the songs that Rades would listen to, but I also think he couldn't stand a lot of genres

Noelle: Bands like Icon For Hire and I think... techno would be her least liked by far

Dorothy: Marina and the Diamonds? I think. And I suppose rap would be her least favourite, or maybe rock/metal

----

I think that's enough for one post ^^' But this was a fun thought!

[insteading]

TAG GAME: List six of your favorite holiday movies in a poll so your followers can pick which movie they think best fits your vibe!

Because you might not know some of mine, and I want to increase the chances you'll be interested enough to watch them, I'm annotating below!

Christmas Eve on Sesame Street (1978, hourlong). Oscar tells Big Bird if he doesn't solve the mystery of how Santa Claus gets down a skinny NYC chimney, no one will get any presents. Bert and Ernie act out The Gift of the Magi. Cookie Monster tries to contact Santa to ask for cookies. Cute and surprisingly high-stakes, eminently quotable. (I can tell when my brother is watching it because he starts texting me lines.) And the song "True Blue Miracle" still slaps.

Desk Set, I have enthused about at length elsewhere. This is my favorite pairing of Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy because it's the one where the script agrees that Kate is perfect to begin with and doesn't need her edges taken off. Not technically a holiday movie, but the office holiday party is the most memorable scene of the film.

The Lion in Winter! Eleanor of Acquitaine is out of jail for Christmas and no one in the palace is having a good time. Katharine Hepburn and Peter O'Toole chew up the scenery and each other. Young Anthony Hopkins and Timothy Dalton are devastating. The script (in pentameter!) is a.ma.zing. The music is iconic in an of-its-era way. The acting is gorgeous. And you might feel better about your own dysfunctional family after.

There are so many iterations of A Christmas Carol! All appreciation to the Muppets, but my favorite is a made-for-TV 1984 film where George C. Scott plays Scrooge. Why? The Ghost of Christmas Present scenes! This adaptation turns on a dime from the party (Roger Rees playing Scrooge's nephew!) to the graveyard, in a way I've never found as chilling in any other adaptation. I won't spoil the details, but it still scares me.

Everyone's got a problematic fave, right? Heyyyy Auntie Mame. There are some scenes that haven't aged well. But also I would watch Rosalind Russell dramatically read the phone book while wearing a gown and a snappy hat. While only one scene is set at the winter holidays, the general tone of this movie is a holiday: it believes fervently in abundance and is generous at heart.

You've probably seen It's a Wonderful Life, you've probably read thinkpieces about it. You've maybe written them. Do I have notes? I do! (If the worst thing that could happen to me is that I am single and a librarian, I think that would be winning at life.) But I love that collective effort and community care win out over greed and malice.

Thanks to @roxyrondell for the invite! No pressure tags to @flameintobeing @some-anonymity-preferred @marbledwings @epersonae @as-a-creww @finethingswellworn and anyone else who would find it fun!

[keepmovinjunior]

@joyfulmagic said: //May I ask your favorite villains then? Disney or otherwise :)

ah all of this opportunity to talk about my faves, thank you :)

my favorite disney villains:

maleficent: just the baddest baddie who takes no sh*t. powerful. hot (i mean look at her. look at her for real. she's a handsome woman). eleanor audley's voice gives me chills. the animation. the dragon design. she is peak villain. the way she tries to kill philip even on her way down. love u, bad gal.

ursula: fabulous. and i love her design so much. pat carroll had such a good time with her and it shows. one of the best villain songs (along with be prepared). also she gives me weird aunt vibes which i like. i wish they would have given more credit to the actual drag queen she is inspired by. imo if they really wanted to be super innovative for the live action version they would've cast an actual drag queen and not melissa mccarthy. but w/e.

zira: i dont know why but i always had a soft spot for her legitimately insane self. she is so ride or die for her obsessions. also suzanne pleshette being her voice is awesome.

scar (and the hyenas): amazing design, amazing voice, one of the best villain songs, and his sidekicks are funny as hell. i think the hyenas are actually the best disney sidekicks (and the true comedy of the film - i like timon and pumbaa but the hyenas comedy is more my thing).

also honorable mention to steele from balto, he's not disney, but he's one of my favorites because of his design and voicework, and just. i don't know, i've always found him really engaging for some reason. he's a more likable and charismatic gaston for me. maybe him being non human makes him more likable.

non disney media:

villanelle from killing eve. she's hilarious, jodie comer is fantastic. and she's a great example of a truly problematic, not excused character who you really get attached to anyway, at least for me. she's antisocial and awful but psychologically fascinating.

regina mills from once upon a time. i know, i know. i just talked so much smack about sympathetic villains. the show is awfully written but i think one of the main reasons i loved her so much was her charisma, especially as the evil queen. lana parrilla just ATE that role up. plus, she's hot.

hans gruber from die hard, simply because i love alan rickman so much. plus hans was waaaaaay more engaging than john mcclane imho. i also loved snape because of alan, altho i don't think snape counts as a villain.

aspasia from assassin's creed odyssey - i take a huge inspiration from her, both the historical figure and the portrayal of her in that game - for megara.

[dayseternal-blog]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. spread the self-love ❤

Bunny-senpai!!! 💕

I answered an ask similar to this one last year in March and I don't think my answers have changed...

I rewrote each blurb haha, so it's not an exact copy-paste from before.

1 “It’s No Secret” - Rated M, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Hinata returns to Konoha after 5 years studying abroad in the Moon Kingdom. She just wants to enjoy her last year of high school as a normal girl, but blossoming love forces her to confront her future. - My top fave. Back then, I wrote this like I was possessed. This story consumed my mind, and I was posting chapters every 1 or 2 weeks. I'm amazed at myself from back then. No, it's not my technically best writing, but I was having so much fun thinking up all kinds of scenes!!! Oh, to be a fanfic writing newbie all over again. Major love to everyone who's read this flirty teenage shenanigans mess and enjoyed it!!! One day I will write part two 🥺

2 “Nightdreams” - Rated E, Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto and Hinata find comfort in each other after the war. - This fic idea came to me sometime after I read agitosgirl's "A Special Friend," and I wanted Moooooore!!! I wanted more of this hurt/comfort dynamic between NaruHina!!!! So bam, the fic almost wrote itself, it flowed so easily (except for when it didn't). I'm so happy that people reread this fic, and then tell me that they're rereading it :D. Once in awhile I reread it, too, and think, oh, I should fix that sentence, or whatever loll, but I don't. I kind of think it's nice to leave it as it is, imperfect in little ways to bother me. Please read this fic and recognize that I was copying Katarinahime's writing techniques throughout.

3 “Awkward Jocks” - Rated G, 1990s High School AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. She knows that if he were to ever ask her out, she would accept in a heartbeat. After all, he’s the star quarterback and basketball player. Plus, she’s liked him since…forever. But when her home phone rings, and he’s on the other line, she hangs up. - It's interesting to me that even after all the fics I've written over the years, it's a few of my oldest fics that take the top 3. I guess I really have been trying to write for myself since the start. This one is based off of my ex-coworker's love story. Even though I don't work with her anymore, I still think of her as my role model for good leadership. When you read this, I hope you can feel how much I love her!

4 “About You” - Rated G, 1970s High School AU, One-shot. A summer job at the Dole pineapple cannery, graveyard shift 10 PM to 6 AM. A long bus ride into and out of town. Two teens, shy beside each other. - This is my most personal fanfic. Based on stories my parents told me and stories I found online from people of their generation, I tried to dive into their time using NaruHina. Ever since I was inspired to write after reading emmykay's "Torch Song," I had wanted to write a fic with Japanese-Hawaiian pidgin dialogue. This fic is close to my heart, but it's not higher on the list because there are inaccurate details that bother me 😅. I'm thinking of writing a fic about my great grandparents' generation one day, I've done a ton of research for it! Anyway, I'm so happy that others love this fanfic, too.

5 “Matcha” from “Shared Vows” - Rated T, Canon-Compliant, One-shot. Naruto calls Hiashi “father” for the first time. - According to my previous blurb, I picked this one because I loved how I structured it, I thought I wrote it really well. I also loved the notion of Naruto finding his own family. On deeper reflection, I think I also picked this one over "Finally Home" because I have a not-so-secret agenda for reconciliation between Hinata and Hiashi, fed by my own family's dynamic with my dad.

If I were to recommend any one of these for someone to read, I'd say they should start with Nightdreams or Matcha as an intro to some of my work since canon universe fanfic is always easier to digest.

[giveafike]

TUMBLR WRAPPED 2024!

hi!

did i scare you? unexpected post, huh? I wanted to have something fun to wrap up the year before we move on so I thought, why not a "wrapped"?

Keeping it short & sweet with some insights too + i luv statistics and seeing patterns, so this is always super interesting to me. Without further ado, here's our wrapped together!

Stats Recap (nerd stuff):

As of 10/12/2024, I have 106 posts. 21 of those are actual fics, meaning almost 1/5th of my posts are works.

The rest is yapping - need to stfu got it! noted!

I received 1,901 notes and 149 followers.

You people are INSANE!!! I have a more emotional post due for New Year's but truly, that is wild, wild work. I'll save the tears and heartfelt stuff for that one, but I want you to know how eternally grateful I am for all of you. Being encouraged by you guys is not just inspiring—it’s addicting, electrifying, and everything in between.

Thank u for the outpouring love.

Inbox Recap (what to look for in 2025?):

Hold ur horses, there's gonna be a lot to write and get through! Thank you for requesting and trusting me to make your ideas come true, I hope to do 'em justice.

Here's a little "reading" so to speak (I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ANYTHING SO DON'T START @ ING ME):

Dominic Fike/Elliot:

sensing an alarming amount of unrest and horn*ness over here. Sensing two posts, both for elliot....smth smth... NSFW... something to do with Nate as well, joining....? Nate and NSFW has the same about of letters too, not a coincidence!!! Also sensing a blurb with a massively underrated song. u btches ab to pmo, why don't we listen to Açaí Bowl more as a collective get the streams up omfg- sorry got sidetracked. that's ab all I can say.

Jude Bellingham:

Pretending to be shocked when I say: more smut requests? Oh brother. But one's very sweet and cute and respectful awww-- SIZE K*NK? oh gosh guys um..the only way I can describe this one is...desperate smut. Anon... cmon now. I would say more, but anon owned up to it saying "This is a long and sick request but I believe you are the only writer on here that can bring this to life 😭😭" which makes me giggle so FINE i'll let it slide, I'll try to do as best as I can (luv u don't u worry I got ideas brewing)

Ben Shelton:

phew. lot of nsfw. like a lot. like a crazy amount. Talking ab that damn car (I'm gonna do smth DRASTIC to that fkin car if he posts w it one more time) talking ab being a munch, ab a supermodel, talking ab scratches, talking ab laver cup (THROWBACK!), about ben showing off.... it's getting hot under the collar, oh gosh. Ahem. We have some sweet fluff ones too! including reader getting insecure/jelly. Ben being irrational, one about....homesickness? a LOT of pregnancy asks. like A LOT. SHELTON NATION DON'T GET KNOCKED UP. PLEASE. One I'm very excited to write, Ben x a certain Doja song...heheheheehehe oh and also, Ben and a 'knock-on effect' w his precious little car, ykwim? no? you'll find out. shush. A very exciting story ahead, the first one with NSFW incorporated - thank u 'D' for the prompt!! Also, I finally got my hands on them tiktok editors and I've made a promise or two to do something w their works.....catch my drift? you'll see soon. Special little hints as to who: victim no 1 and victim no 2 🙂‍↕️😝😙🥰

Post Recap (what went on the billboard charts for u?):

IN 6TH PLACE:

At 85 notes each, we have a tie between "Yours" and "Come Here". Both Ben posts, one SFW the other NSFW. Writing "Yours" was super fun, writing jealous/possessive and sassy Ben kills me laughing, IJBOL and writing Carlitos too? SO funny (wonder how that'd go down differently since we saw them being bff besties at Garden Cup) - Possessive Ben is a guilty pleasure, hehehe. Writing "Come Here" was really interesting since it was my first NSFW of Ben. Also based off of my fave Dom Fike song that's just as h*rny. Thigh riding being my FIRST one off the dome is lwky crazy lmao. Sometimes, I wish I could write more in my NSFW posts, i feel a bit insecure in my NSFW writing? I believe in quality>quantity in fics always, but I hate how short mine are for NSFW posts...sigh. Maybe I should build up the tension more? Go deeper (no pun intended)? you let me know, that would be incredibly insightful!!

IN 5TH PLACE:

At 93 notes, we have my baby, "Shattered"!!! "Shattered" ended up becoming a mini-passion project for me (clearly). What was meant to be a mid-sized blurb ended up progressing to 10k words - how that happened is beyond me. Everytime I thought I was done and ready to close up and conclude, there'd be another part, another bit that I'd want to add. It even got to a point where I'd be on my bus home from work or college, almost falling asleep when I'd get woken up with more inspo, lol. It was my first time writing angst in a very, very, very long time but looking back now, I really truly enjoyed it and I'm quite proud of it! Maybe more angst reqs in my future? I’m leaning towards YES

IN 4TH PLACE:

At 102 notes, we have the "NSFW Alphabet with Ben" - you people are so horny omg. This was the first EVER NSFW thing written about Ben from me. And honestly? my least fave hahahahaa. I deadass have this blocked out of my memory, like I haven't gone back to read it after I posted it. I feel like I'd read it and cringe, or disagree w it or be like "erm acshully ....that's not canon" it prob needs to be redo - I'd never hate any of my children but I'm just saying if this one went missing, idgaf. If you want a crazy NSFW reading thats prob more accurate than anything, check this reading out. Feral, bye.

IJBOL what in the equality is my top 3 posts- I MEAN, here's the top 3 that you people ate tf up!

IN 3RD PLACE:

At 142 notes, we have the "When it Rains, it Pours" - smut always wins here huh? My 2nd fic post! This is a whole nasty NSFW post w Elliot from Euphoria (aka Dominic Fike) mixed with friends w benefits, rain noises, a homemade fort and w**d! Amazing trio imo. Literally as I'm writing this, I just got another like for that freaky ass blurb. As much as I'm excited to write more Dom/Elliot stuff, ALL OF YOU PEOPLE ARE SOOO HORNY? LIKE EVERY SINGLE INBOX REQ IS SMUT? EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Idk how many times I can reinvent the wheel, so to speak, but I'll sure as hell try....hehehe

IN 2ND PLACE:

At 143 notes, we have "Game, Set, Match" part 1 - Ben Shelton. AWWWW MY BABY, MY LOVECHILD! This was the first ever STORY and I'm so glad it became a 3 part story too. Triple Platinum, I know that's right!!! I really loved making this, I didn’t plan to add the Instagram element, especially since I’m usually terrible at fake IG fic stuff (finding the right images is so limiting). But for GSM, it just felt right. I think my writing has improved a lot since then, too. I always laugh at my Ben posts because my A.Ns are always like "oh brother a LONG ONE HERE" and then my next post is even longer 😭 Thank u fr for the love on this one, because THAT'S when I really got a whole lottaaa support and love and it rly blew me out of the water, I could cry.

And finally....IN 1ST PLACE:

At 147 notes, it's no surprise that we have the "Waves", a Jude Bellingham blurb.

No surprises here, it was meant to be. I say that because I had this ask sitting in my inbox and decided to do a poll asking what I should post first - after tagging all the tags, I should've known it'd be crazily ratio'd by the Jude community on here, hahahhaha. I think it was something like 80% for Jude and the rest scattered throughout? This was my first ever Jude blurb, and I think it'll be one of many. I have a couple in my inbox but the future is there for me and writing about that silly guy.

Final words:

Was that as interesting for you as it was for me? I've been meaning to talk and reflect to u all inbetween the whole "Advent Calendar" series.

If anything, these stats tell me more about you guys, what you want to see and how I should continue going forward. I always want to write about things that matter the most and stick with you, fics that have you coming back to reread and enjoy.

Having representation in my characters and creating a world where you can sink into time and again is one of the best and only things I can give, so you bet by all means neccessary I don't want to half-ass it.

I might not know where your headspace is at, or what's going on in your life but I hope whatever happens, I can have a little space right here, make you laugh, smile and feel things that take your mind off of reality. At least until you finish reading.

As for the rest of the year, I still have my finals and work this weekend and as the season comes closer, I'd like to spend it with my loved ones while I still can :) The "Advent Calendar" will continue as per scheduled!

I hope to write some more before NYE comes round but we'll see. It's never a burden to write, it's always a destresser, but you bet I'll be enjoying company with family and friends too. That's all I've got for 2024, I can't wait to continue creating silly little imaginary situations in 2025 <3

- lots of love,

azzie.