#and also lying to herself about there being someone else in the picture of her image of whats supposed to be the happy and proper ending

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

It’s hilarious how Vaggie made herself a ‘sinner’.

How that linked her up with Charlie is such a weird, round about truthful way, even when she was lying by omission about it.

And how amazingly dumb it all makes Adam and Lute look.

Thousands of helpless souls killed by her, but she didn’t do anything ‘wrong’ until she wondered if what she was doing was right. The divine powers in her life only took her wings and condemned her to hell after she doubted their orders, their idea of justice, and quietly chose not to completely follow them.

“You fucked up” they tell her “your mistake” she “left the band” “tried for a solo career". It’s so pathetic. They're so butthurt over the idea of one of their own having a mind of her own.

It’s also so funny, because they spin her simple act of whispering “Go, run. Now!” to demon kid she’d been holding at spear point like it was big defiant move- which makes it into one- even though she never challenged them openly, or threatened them.

Hell, Lute’s “You always were weak” plus exorcist Vaggie always frowning while her murder sisters all grin with glee as they kill sinners- it paints a picture of Vaggie never having been as into exterminations as she ‘should’ have been. Too weak to be a proper exorcist no matter how good at killing she was, not just “the traitor” but also “the failure”.

And she was scared of that. She didn’t want anyone seeing her spare that child, whispered her words to them in a back alley, out of sight.

She was scared of what would happen and didn’t even fight it when Lute took her eye and wings- she was scared and no threat in any tangible way, but apparently refusing to do one single murder is enough to freak Adam and Lute the fuck out.

One woman. Doesn’t do exactly what she’s told. After who knows how many decades of being one of the “top girls” at murder, a “bad bitch” named after “the best thing ever”, and they still get spooked by that tiny moment when she wasn’t under their total control. Like it's such a betrayal to them, her daring to so much as think this level of violence isn’t justified actually, and for a split second act on that thought.

It’s an instant ticket to ousting her from the exorcists AND from heaven, while they fly the fuck off again.

“If angels can do whatever, and remain in the sky-”

and they do. After doing that to one of their own. They did that, to someone who was supposedly meant to be in heaven. They didn’t wait for divine justice- took it, and her eye, and her wings, and her halo, into their own hands and tore them away from her. Then happily, they spend the next three years up in heaven, slurping smoothies and doing more murder sprees.

until Vaggie comes strolling back with the princess of hell, there supporting her girlfriend and the idea that all the shit she did for so long really was and IS wrong.

oh and Adam and Lute are pisssssssed about it. They take her being there PERSONALLY, wanna solve it with VIOLENCE

She hurts them without even trying. Without even noticing they're there.

They're told to fix the princess of hell situation and they have no concept of forgiveness, of caring about sinners, so they guess (rightly) that Vaggie hasn't told Charlie about her past and bet (wrongly) that Charlie would never forgive her if she knew, and also assumed (rightly) that Vaggie would be terrified of that

But they don't get that she's scared of hurting Charlie. Of Charlie being hurt by her. It's a selfless thing. That's her whole PROBLEM.

Her running to hold Charlie after the reveal- her NOT breaking down when Charlie takes alone time in the aftermath, respecting that right up until she thinks Charlie's actively in danger- afraid FOR Charlie when the deal with Alastor is made, no crumbling that Charlie went to someone else for help, when being helpful to Charlie is basically her raison d'étre- agreeing to go alone to an overlord, after learning she can DIE and THIS OVERLORD knows how to do it- all this for the sake of Charlie's dream, their shared goal, their hotel. Their friends, resigned to despair in the hotel lobby, losing hope and maybe hours away from losing their lives

No shit she was never going to bow down to the blackmail?? It'd be like turning herself inside out. Charlie isn't just some "little hottie" or whatever, they're partners. They're in this together. Even when Charlie out loud doubts if that's true, it still is.

Lute and Adam don't GET what it means, that Charlie assumed Vaggie was a sinner already. That the thing she'd be hurt about was the lying, not the murder. She was scared of not really being loved by Vaggie- of everything else wonderful between them being a lie too, all that support and faith empty empty- she wasn't afraid of loving Vaggie, whoever Vaggie had been, she was afraid of who Vaggie might be now and that she'd never really believed in Charlie at all.

Charlie was angry at the thought that Vaggie didn't think she would've accepted her. The idea of not really being understood or trusted by Vaggie, that's what hurt.

And it goes against everything Lute and Adam are, Charlie actually caring about sinners while knowing what they've done- about an exorcist after finding out who they'd been- really trusting that people can change. Lute and Adam hear her say it and see her stand up for it and they just want her to shut up and die

again though, no shit she was going to stick with Vaggie after the truth came out, in the end. Once she had a moment to take a breath and step out of her head long enough for a reality check

Vaggie didn’t say to Charlie what she'd done or who she'd been. But she’s been and keeps doing what she can to follow that idea, unvoiced, from that day when she couldn’t kill a sinner- something Charlie didn't know about but now knows must have happened- A final death means no second chance and no worth as a person, but Vaggie didn’t think that, even before meeting Charlie she didn't think that.

She's always been on Charlie's side. They were on the same side before they ever set eyes on each other. All this time, for three whole years, and now she's off to go find a way to protect everything they've built together.

"-words are cheap, but actions, they speak the truth"

Charlie never really stopped trusting her. Maybe she wondered if she should, but even then, she had Vaggie go to Carmilla to find the key that might save them all.

"She killed an exorcist in the last extermination. She knows how they can be harmed."

"But… I- I didn't even know that was possible."

"If you did, would you have told me?"

So Charlie asked. A pretty painful thing to say- and she said it even as she sent an angel to go find out a way to hurt other angels.

She DID trust that Vaggie WOULD tell her.

The irony of all this happening thanks to Adam and Lute trying to keep it from happening, and all of it leading up to Vaggie getting back part of what they took from her, because now she doesn't need them or heaven to be an angel anymore.

Charlie has faith in her. Enough to send her off on an important mission even after Vaggie hurt her- and send her right to the person who end up helping Vaggie get back her wings.

“The rules are shades of gray when you don’t do as you say”

Vaggie’s new fucking wings are gray when Lute sees them. When Vaggie’s standing over her, sparing her life, her wings and that one, fucking unexplained stripe separating her from the other exorcists, all of it is GRAY.

That visual gut punch of, you’re. Fucking. Wrong. You’re wrong about sinners, you’re wrong about supposedly protecting heaven, you’re wrong thinking you can just DO this shit. That imagery of an angel who DIDN’T stay in the sky because she DIDN’T think being angel meant everything she did had to be right- who’s here in hell, trying to protect sinners from heaven’s slaughter-

And Lute wanted Vaggie to “correct” HER “mistake”? Vaggie’s???

That’s Lute, admitting that people in hell can get second chances and make up for what they did. Admitting that “Sinful filth” like Vaggie can be redeemed in some way, by following Lute’s version of what’s right.

But wasn’t her and Adam’s whole thing the idea of blowing your shot? Getting no other chance after it?  

Oh yeah. Vaggie doesn’t believe that though. Not for sinners like her, not for angels like her.

She let’s Lute live. She does it to make Lute suffer, but there are a lot of ways to make someone suffer- an eye for an eye for example- and Vaggie chooses the one that doesn’t hurt Lute more than it has to, that leaves her alive, and leaves Lute’s suffering to be something completely of Lute’s own making (a HELL of Lute's own making, if you will) (Lute choosing to tear her OWN arm off to continue the fight-).

She's totally dismissive of the woman who was just going after her remaining eye like a dog after a bone.

Why is it that nothing Adam and Lute to do her matters?

Why don’t THEY matter to her at all?

Walking right past them, being so done with them up in heaven, not caving to the blackmail, only being worried about Charlie afterwards, not letting that crack in their relationship stop her from doing what she can for their hotel, Lute threatening to take her other eye and BLIND her just making her snark- even the vague threat to Charlie only gives Vaggie the oomf she needed to defend herself.

“Pathetic” she calls Lute. She’s right- they’re so pathetic, both them, Adam and Lute. They’re so scared of being wrong. So pissy over the idea of being less than great and perfect.

It breaks them. Adam’s last words are him having a meltdown in the face of not actually being hot shit. Where’s his respect, he wails, they should all be worshiping him! But they’re not. One of his random decedents stabs him to death because he would’ve done the same to her, and one of the last things he hears is Vaggie- the fuck up, the traitor, his former grumpy top girl Vagina- whooping with glee as he dies.

And Lute lives knowing that could’ve been her, too.

If it wasn't for Vaggie.

Being not all that didn’t break Vaggie. Finding out she was wrong got her to stop and think and change, not run straight on blindly into a fight that ends up with her (with HIM) dead.

Why does she go from terrified of Lute and Adam, to dismissive and annoyed and just all around not caring about them at all?

They gave up all her respect for them when they demanded the death of a child.

The father of humanity wanted a child killed. A helpless, whimpering kid, sacrificed to his ego and bruised pride, and for shits and giggles. His first lieutenant saw failing to do so as a sin worthy of hell. All this over a child. How could she ever take them seriously after that.  

She came down from high and chased the child and held a blade over them on divine command.

Then, somehow, she saw the HORNS in her own shadow above them- even though she wasn’t WEARING her MASK, and she stopped.

She was her own messenger angel.

She chose to give the child mercy, and became the sacrifice herself.

Vaggie stuck it to the man. Didn’t steal that life. And, terrified of what would happen to her next, acted selflessly. The same thing that got her left behind in hell should have earned her place in heaven, according to Adam-

heaven was shit to her though. Made her into a soldier. Sent her to kill and kill and kill. Taught her trust on the battlefield- in heaven, of all fucking places-

Timeline wise we see her very first smile when she meets Charlie. When a stranger does- again- the bare minimum for someone else.

When she’s back up in heaven later she isn’t wistful, just angry, uncomfortable, annoyed. She isn’t happy there. It’s not home to her, like her and Charlie’s room back at the hotel is. Why should it be? What good did she ever find in herself up there?

Down here though, she's happy. Hell is where her heaven started. So I guess in the end, she did find what she’d earned after all. Or it, Charlie, found her.

When “The rules are shades of gray…”

Sometimes they’re wrong, and you have to break them.  

People like Lute and Adam would rather crack under the pressure and die instead, but not Vaggie. They're out for blood. She's out for love.

Sucks to be them~

[entername322]

Obsession

Irene (Red Velvet) x Male Reader

Length: 12860 words

Next part

Cool, calm, and collected, that's the three main thing Irene always remind herself to keep.

Navigating through the idol life she has to keep herself from losing hold of her emotions.

Keep a facade, use a mask, make sure nobody sees what she feel or think. These are the main thing she always try to do when it comes to interacting with other people off camera.

She hates men, it's not because they've done something to her. It's just that she find all the men that have tried to flirt or make a move on her has been thoroughly pathetic and frankly, disgusting.

After years of navigating through the idol's life she's been very adept at hiding her feelings.

The nickname ice queen doesn't particularly mind her by any means. However she would also be lying if she said that the nickname doesn't hurt her sometimes.

She does have feelings, she just finds that showing it off would be a bad idea.

That being said, the name has done nothing but skyrocket her popularity, and help her build an image for herself.

Her cold expression and attitude has help her deter some people from coming on to her.

Although that just means the people that do came on to her is the stupidest or the most arrogant of the bunch.

"Unnie come on, Yun is a great guy"  

That didn't stop her own friends and member to try and hook her up with someone though.

"Seung-ah, I'm thankful, I really do, but I'm really not looking for anyone right now"

Her own member, Wendy has tried to hook her up with some people recently. Irene hates this, she despise people who try to do that for her.

Wendy however, is her own member, so her motherly and loving side for her and the hatred for such actions leave Irene in turmoil on how to escapes this situation.

"Come on, one dinner, if things goes bad then I'll swear I'll never pester you about this ever again"

Irene's mind raced quickly, on one hand she's afraid accepting it would enables her other member to do the same. On the other an unpleasant night for a life time, well, a few months or year of peace isn't so bad.

"Fine"

She concluded that if others try to do the same she'll just bring up this incident. After all, if Wendy, one of the best at judging characters and the most sociable of them all, can't find someone who could match her taste, who else would?

Despite the consent she has gave her, on the night of the dinner, she felt a little regret.

This is gonna be a bad dinner

Of course, she tried to keep an open mind. She wouldn't want to ruin her own friends effort with prejudice.

She did her research, looking at the man online. His social media, his occupation, okay maybe it's a little to creepy, but she can't help herself.

On paper, everything is fine, he's an accountant to a big law firm. Late 20s, been in a few relationships. He keeps his exes photo on his Instagram, and seeing his recent post he seems to still hangout with them.

Most of the pictures is group photo so it most probably means that he still hangout with the circle of friends without any issue.

Looks wise, he's average. Irene doesn't have a high standard by any means, she just hangout with some of the most beautiful idols around her work. Compared to them, he's average, which means he's pretty good looking for the general public.

So what's the red flag? Irene doesn't know herself, it's just, she doesn't have any interest in him.

Most of the thing she find about him just leave an 'oh' in her mind. Not bad 'oh' or a good 'oh' just 'oh'.

Nevertheless, she went to the dinner, a reservation at the 2 Michelin star restaurant. She enjoys this kinds of food, not that she's materialistic, she just have a taste for expensive things. Okay she might be a little materialistic, a bit more than what she would admit.

"Hello, I'm David, it's nice to meet you"

The man was waiting for her at the reserved table already.

Quite and secluded place at the corner of the room, away from the windows that the paparazzi could use.

This is a two Michelin star restaurant, even the worst seat is better than the one in most places.

"Hello, Seung talk alot about you"

Give a little smile, shake his hand, sit at your seat. Don't try to be hostile or too friendly. Observe him.

"I must say, I'm a big fan of your work, it's very surprising that Wendy would offer me this opportunity"

A genuine smile, no signs of nervousness. Irene, doesn't have any strong feeling about that confidence, but it does leave some impression for her to note.

"Well, Seung is, very social, she likes introducing her friends to each other"

Perhaps that trait of her have left Irene in some awkward and uncomfortable situation. Of course Irene would never say this out loud.

"So, should we order?"

Chatty, this man is chatty. It does bring a little relive for Irene. She prefers someone who would take over the conversation and alleviate some burden from her.

It also means he might slip up and say more than what he meant, which is perfect for her since she's observing him.

"..... And it was pretty funny actually. How about you? Did Wendy ever brought you to an awkward situation like that?"

He was talking about how Seung once tried to hook him up with a distant cousins of him.

"Not really, although I'm not really good at meeting new people"

"Well, I used to as well, but being dragged into a lot of social gatherings I've been.... Forced to adapt. There's this one time...."

The dinner was fine, things has been going well, Irene was surprised herself that he was pretty charming.

"Sorry if I talk alot, I tend to do it if I was nervous"

"It's fine, sorry if I didn't talk much either"

"Of course, it's my pleasure to, you know, have a chance to sit here with you-"

His phone buzzed.

"Sorry, just a moment"

Picking it up, he opened his newly received text. It was a nude picture of a woman.

Irene saw it and raised her eyebrow, how does she saw it? Well, the little painting behind him gave a little reflection.

Not a noticeable one, but her eyes is one of a hawk, never missing any small detail.

He answered the text, something Irene can't see, before looking back at her.

"Sorry, work stuff"

Hmmm, off putting, but since she doesn't see his response she wouldn't mind putting the benefit of the doubt, slightly.

"It's fine, you were talking about your first year at the law firm you're currently working on?"

The conversation continues smoothly, almost like the little hiccup from before never happened.

In fact, Irene was throughly surprised that things went well.

"So, that was a nice dinner"

"Yes, it was"

"It's been nice talking with you Irene"

"Me too"

The two gather up their thing and ready to leave. As they walk out, David did the sinful and unforgivable act in Irene's book. He put his hand on her shoulder, almost leading her.

"How about we continue our talk at my place, it was fun, and the night is still young"

Confident, so much so he thinks that he could bring me to his place after the first date? On a blind date on top of that?

"Sorry, I have an early schedule"

Irene smiled again, unlike the others one she gave ro him during the dinner, this one is an annoyed smile. Not that he would notice it.

"Oh come on, you're a senior already, just break the rule a little bit"

"I'm, really sorry, it's an important meeting"

"Come on, not even a kiss?"

Men.

The next day Irene came to work in a bad mood.

"So, how does it go?"

Wendy said the moment she saw her leader.

"Morning Seung"

"Come on, spill, I told you he's great"

"He was, until he tried to talk me into spending time in his place"

"He did?"

"Things are fine until the end of the dinner"

"Oh shit, sorry unnie, he's not Korean, things are, different in the-"

"Seung, I don't, I don't like the vibe he gave me at the end"

Wendy frowned, from disappointment, although she's not sure it was directed to Irene or David.

"I'll.... Okay, I understand"

"Sorry Seung, he seems like a great guy, but he's too aggressive for me"

"Yeah, I get it"

"Anyway, what's the plan for today?"

"Well, beside the photoshoot at noon me and Seulgi-unnie is going to meet some of the trainee that we have. There's some promising people our produce said"

Checking in on the trainee is something a lot of the idols do in SM. Even Irene has done it a few time before.

"Can I come with you?"

"Sure, come on"

The two of them went to meet up with Seulgi at their designated dressing room.

"Unnie is coming too?"

Irene nodded.

"Well let's go, I'm gonna be the dance instructor for today"

The group of three went to the trainee practice room.

As soon as they got in the rowdy buch of kids got quiet. Entranced by the three women.

"Morning everyone, I'm Seulgi from Red Velvet, today I'll be your dance instructor"

Seulgi's word cause a wave of panic between the trainees face.

"Don't be nervous, I'll try my best to help you all. As you may have know these are my members, Irene and Wendy, they will be watching us today. Don't panic, they are simply watching us"

Irene's eyes scanned the room,watching and observing the expression. None seems to stand out for her, until she saw you.

You, were not by any means an outstanding person. Not the most handsome, not the prettiest or the cutest. You do standout a little due too your absurd height, not that it shown when you sit down.

Was she looking at me? No, come on now man, don't get your hopes up, that's Irene.

But she did in fact, looking at you. Long enough for her to get into a trace, short enough to where nobody's watching pick on it.

Irene was, stunned, she wasn't sure why. Her eyes was just locked in place as she saw you.

Thankfully Wendy nudges her, waking her up from her daze. Wendy pulled her to the side, a nice place so they can watch the trainees.

"Okay, come on, stand up, let's start"

Irene's eyes is locked to you, watching your every movement.

Tall

That's the first thing she thinks about the first time she saw you stood up.

Her heart was racing, what are you doing to her? You didn't say anything, you didn't even acknowledge her more than you should.

Yet, somehow, you caught her attention.

She was too entranced to hear the instructions Seulgi is giving.

She did realised it when you started dancing along the others. Your movement was stiff, not unsalvageable. Your expression is one of full focus, something that does nothing but daze her even more.

"That's great, now, let's do individual test"

While others are panicking you were looking straight at Seulgi with contemplative gaze.

You looked away for a second, to gaze on Irene. Just a second, but it's enough to cause Irene's heart to skip a beat.

"Now, let's go, who want to start first?"

One particular trainee seems excited and enthusiastic, he raised his hand.

The others moved back, now facing Irene and Wendy, watching one by one getting called out to do a dance routine.

Wendy was cheering and giving words of encouragement every now and then to each participant. Seulgi gave a polite yet stern comments.

Irene was, well, she's busy watching you.

Enough for you to feel a little uncomfortable.

"What's up blue?"

"I don't know, I'm just nervous, that's Irene bro"

"Fuck I knew, I'm gonna embarrass myself in front of my favourite idol"

"What about me man, I was in the zone before and I still look like a dancing stickman"

"You'll do fine man, just, be confident"

"Yeah, you too bro. Do you, do you feel like Irene is watching at us?"

Your friend took a quick glance to Irene, however she was watching the trainee that's dancing right now.

"Nah man, but I know what you mean, she's definitely watching all of us"

That's, not what you mean at all. You look back at Irene, seemingly busy watching the one being tested right now.

Was it just your imagination?

It wasn't, Irene read your lips, realising you might caught up with her intense stare she looked away to make sure you didn't get suspicious.

She still watch you from the corner of your eyes. Not until you look away did she turned to continue watching her.

Suddenly, this becomes a cat and mouse game where both of you tried to look at each other without being noticed by the other.

You, failing miserably, there's like 6 times in 5 minutes where you were looking at her only to find her gaze at you back before you could look away.

Irene was cool, calm and collected, even in the event of stalking someone. Not a single time you realise that Irene was watching you. Even though she has watch you more than you watch her.

When your time is up, anxiety and fear take over you. Nervously you walked to the front.

"Let's go blue"

Your bro have your back thankfully.

"Don't be nervous"

Seulgi smiled to calm you down, doesn't help.

The music kicks in, and you start your dance.

While you were haphazardly dance, Irene was having a little joy in her heart. She now can watch you throughly without having to avert her gaze every now and then.

Your movement wasn't terrible, just bad. That doesn't seems to bother her the slightest. In fact, she find it cute.

Wait, hold on, cute?

Really?

Irene ws confused, how those those words come up at her mind. During her confusion you managed to finish your dance.

"Well, that was a good effort, but I can see you're still a little awkward at dancing. Is it perhaps due too your height that you are less flexible?"

Irene decided to put it at the back of her mind so that she can focus back on you.

"Y-y-yeah, it was, a bit hard for me to do those delicate move"

Your stuttering seems to sent a rush of alien feelings in Irene.

"It's okay, you memorize the dance already and you seems to know when you messed up yet you still have the clear mind to continue on with your moves. Do a little more flexibility training and you will fix it"

Seulgi's word of encouragement put a smile on your face. A smile Irene is not enjoying.

"Yeah, you did good, keep up the hard work"

Having two encouragement from your future possible senior put you in a good mood.

"Thank you for the instructions and the encouragement"

You bowed, again giving smile to Seulgi who returned it beautifully. Irene does not like your smile. You then glanced at Wendy and her. Irene loves that smile.

As you sat back, stunned by the newfound motivation. Irene is stunned, having your smile imprinted in her brain and memory.

"Hell yeah blue"

Your bro gave you a fistbump before getting ready for his turn.

You glanced back to Irene, this time she wasn't hiding her gaze.

Your eyes meet, at that moment, time seems to stop. Both for you and Irene.

Your mind raced at a few million miles an hour, your heart stopped alongside the time. Irene, is looking at you, with a..... Best described as longing look.

Holy fuck she's dangerous, how did I managed to stay focus during the dance? Gosh she's pretty, is she prettier then when you saw her on screen? I should look away now

.

.

.

Why am I not looking away?

Irene was having the similar thoughts. Enthralled by your gaze, your eyes seemingly to be a bottomless abyss that drawns her. Her breathing got heavy, her heart thumping faster than she ever felt before.

What are you doing to me?

Then, just like it never happens, you two both look away.

You stare blankly to the wall, trying to keep your brain from coming up with impossible imagination.

Irene was staring at the floor, trying to keep her heart from going wild and burst.

In your stuppor, your friend managed to finish his dance and got a compliment by Seulgi and sat back with you.

"Fuck I thought I was gonna faint"

Yeah, you too, you stood up and went to the exit. You need to wash your face.

Irene was in a panic as she saw you leave. A weird unknown panic.

She stood up, following you soon after.

While you were washing your face and try to clear your face, Irene was waiting outside the practice room.

Your steps and heavy and loud, it's given due to he fact of how tall you are. Despite your lean stature your body still weights enough to make some loud foot steps.

The moment Irene hears your footsteps she slowly walked to the bathroom. Trying to make it look like she's going to the bathroom as well.

You were stunned again the moment you walk out, seeing Irene walking to the bathroom from a distance away.

Awkwardly you walk back to your room, once you were close enough Irene took away her eyes from her phone and look at you.

With a nervous smile you bowed to her. However as you wanted to continue walking Irene stop, next to you, looking at you.

Subconsciously, you stopped as well, again, meeting your gaze with her.

Irene wasn't sure herself why she stopped. She even put her hand behind her, hiding her phone and her nervous finger that keep jolting around.

"Blue? Is that your name?"

Her mouth moves before her brain can think.

"Ehmmm, y-y-yes, that's what everyone call me"

Your attempt to smile only made you look like a grimacing in pain.

"Don't be so nervous"

Irene however find this cute, your nervousness is amusing to her.

"I'm sorry, it's just that....."

"That?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, it's just that, I was a big fan of you and Red Velvet, so seeing you here feels..... Surreal"

The smile on Irene's face seems to grow even larger.

"Really? A big fan huh? So who's your bias then?"

Is she crazy? How could I say anyone else but her at this moment?

"Ehm, it's you"

Oh god, your nervousness, your shy smile, your blush, your words. It dragged Irene, deep into a dark place that she doesn't know she have in her heart.

"Really?"

Her voice raise a few octaves, not that you realized, you're busy trying not to faint out of embarrassment.

"Yes"

She loves it, she loves your demeanour.

Irene has met countless idols and fans that stammered and stunned the moment they see her. She have grown accustomed to it. Yet you, above thousands of encounters that she has, managed to leave such an impression to her mind, forever.

"That's good to hear, don't be so nervous, I'm not gonna bite"

She wants to, she really, really, really wants to do it, but it's not like she has lose control of herself.... yet.

"Oh sorry, I'm just, not good at handling my nervousness"

You reached to the back your neck. There was, a small, feeling, barely noticeable. A voice saying this nervousness is not just a simple nervousness.

You didn't realise it, it was barely noticeable in the first place. With the ice queen herself standing in front of you there could be a fire happening and you wouldn't even react to it.

Irene, was watching you, as you bring up your hand, the long sleeve of your sweater falls down.

Your exposed forearm made her eyes locked to it. Of course working out a little you have a decent body, but looking at your, somewhat impressive forearm, Irene was enamored.

"I'm sorry, thank you for spending your time to check in on us, it really means a lot"

You smiled again, and for Irene, it broke her heart to a million pieces before it brought itself back together and got inflated so big that it burst.

"It's fine, I'm sorry I didn't put in any comments. I.... Have a lot in my mind"

You, you were in her mind.

Irene tighten her grip on her phone, thankfully her slender and delicate fingers is not strong enough to break it.

"Oh, no, not at all, don't be sorry, it was more than enough to have you, spend some time to watch us. It was an honour for us"

You raised both your hand in front of you waving it to make sure it's okay. This cause Irene to watch both of your forearm. Remember that thing about self control? Yeah, it's slipping away slowly.

"Really? You mean it?"

Irene stepped forward causing you subconsciously stepped back.

"Y-y-yeah"

Irene felt her heart thumping so loud it might cause her to be deaf.

"Then, do you mind if I watch you again so I can help guide you?"

Just like a black hole you keep pulling Irene to come closer. Unlike a black hole you stepped back again. This time your feet meets the wall.

"O-o-of course, if it w-w-won't bother you"

Not wanting to look like a weirdo you try to stand straight.

"Oh, really? Are you sure?"

Irene coming even closer doesn't help though.

"Yeah"

While you were trying to keep your wits, Irene is trying to keep her self control.

Getting closer she smells the slight body odour you gave off from doing those dances. Your body heat seems to radiate to her, giving off warmth that she never felt before.

"Then let's exchange number, so I can give you a time and place for tutoring"

Your brain short circuit for a little. Along with your heart, and your lungs, and your, well, your whole organ.

This is Irene, of course you're having a full organ failure when she ask for your number.

"Sorry?"

You managed to squeak out.

"Your number, for tutoring"

Irene pulled out her phone from behind her before quickly opening her contact.

She then leaned forward while offering her phone to you.

Despite being a head taller, you felt like a little mouse in front of her.

You glanced at the phone, ready to take it, then something else caught your eyes.

She was wearing a loose sweater today, her little forward lean is enough for her to expose her clevage.

You, might stare longer than you should. It is mind boggling that she didn't say anything.

Irene didn't say anything, becuse she likes it.

That's right, Irene, one of the idol, maybe the number one idol who hate being sexualised, is enjoying your eyes.

He's checking me out? Oh yeah, the sweater is loose. Is he watching my clevage? Don't react Irene, don't let him realise that you realized his gaze.

"Of course"

Quickly you take her phone and put in your number. Double, no, triple, no, quad checking the number you put in is the right one before giving it back to her.

"Thank you"

Irene smiled happily, one for your number, two for your eyes that's showing your lustful desires.

"Y-y-yeah, thanks sunbaenim"

No, that's not quite right, she doesn't like that name you have for her.

"Don't be formal, call me Joohyun-noona"

Call me that, now.

"I, okay, thank you Noona"

Hmmmmm, Irene's heart has stopped yet again.

"Well go on, you should go back"

She doesn't have to tell you twice. You quickly scurry of the the practice door.

Irene watches your back, even from the back she can't help but be enticed by you.

I want you.

You can't believe it, you simply can't believe you just gave Irene your number. In fact, you can barely believe Irene is here watching you.

Take a deep breath. Calm down. Focus on the lesson.

"You seems happy unnie"

Nothing can escape Wendy, as soon as Irene walked back in, the little smile she had on her face has not escape Wendy.

"Oh? It's nothing"

Irene glances back at you, who is busy watching your fellow trainee performance.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I just found something interesting"

"Someone?"

"You could say that"

Irene would love to stay here watching you the whole day. Unfortunately she has a schedule that she need to follow.

With a heavy heart, she followed her friends to say goodbye before leaving the place.

She has send you a text so that you would keep her number. She also knows that you can't use your phone until lunch.

That doesn't stop her from checking her phone every few seconds, hoping for you to answer her text.

When lunch come around Irene can't focus on her food. She keeps wondering what you were doing, and why you're not answering her.

Of course the answer is simple, you forgot.

Only until around the sun down when you finished your training for today did you saw she has sent you a message.

With a little hesitation you answered it.

Surprisingly for you, she read it instantly. Of course, Irene has been locked to her phone every since she sent you the text.

Despite all the anger that she have for you, there's still a glimmer of happiness seeing you answer.

She asked you what took you so long to answer.

You panicked, hurriedly saying sorry and told her it's been a long day and you were busy working out.

"Working out? Does he use the companies gym?"

"Companies gym? That's off limit for trainees, if only I can use it, I don't have to spend money for gym membership"

"I want to see him workout, I can give him an allowance to use it"

"She's giving allowance? But why?

"Why? What should I say here? Oh right, I just want to help him build up his flexibility"

"My flexibility? Is it so bad that she has to oversee me herself? Is she overseeing me?"

"Yes, of course I'm overseeing him, who else?"

"Whoa, that's, I don't know what to say"

Stunned by the message you took a minute to digest what she is offering you.

Unfortunately for Irene that minute is one minute too long.

"Why isn't he responding"

"Oh shit, what do I say? Thank you for the offer? I don't deserve it?"

"Why did he say that? Stop saying that, just take the offer and workout with me"

"Oh shit, did I piss her off? Sorry, I'll take it if she insist then"

"Good, I want to see him again, I need to ask his schedule"

"My schedule? I guess I can send her the screenshot for it"

"That's too restricting, ahhhh, I don't think I can just ask them to change it"

"What do you mean it's too restricting? Doesn't she went through this"

"I did, but I don't like it. Can he workout in the morning?"

"Morning? Like 5 AM? She wants to workout that early?"

"5 AM is too late, he starts at 8 AM. Can he starts at 4 AM?

"4 AM? Bruh that's like my unemployment schedule when I can just workout before sun rise and chill for the rest of the day"

"Too early? How do I convince him? Oh right, it's for his stamina"

"Ahhhh, she really want me to start at 4 AM? Fuck it, I don't get any more chances to do this"

"Good, I'll see him tomorrow morning, I wonder what I should wear tomorrow"

While Irene is filled with enthusiasm and struggle to find the best outfit for tomorrow you went to prepare 5 alarm to wake up early tomorrow.

The next day, you went to the company building, the security seems to have been informed for your arrival and send you up to the gym.

In the gym, there's nobody, except for Irene. Sitting there waiting for you.

Her ethereal beauty made you hold your breath, her gaze that's locked on to you made you feel uncomfortable, as if she's dissecting your whole body with her eyes.

Irene was struggling to keep herself from running to you. She held her breath, dug her nails into her palm, doing everything that she can to stop herself.

"Come here, don't be shy"

Too caught up in her beauty, you didn't realise her voice crack.

"Good morning Noona"

Irene love it when you call her that, the name, the tone, the deep raspy voice you have.

As you get close Irene felt the warmth that rejuvenate her yesterday, the warmth she never realised how much she enjoyed your presence.

"Good morning, so, let's start with a little briefing, how do you usually workout?"

You started of with some stuttering, but you did managed to smooth out your words and eloquently tell her the details for your workout.

Irene is happy, you didn't use much weight lifting at your workout, she prefer a lean body type in a person.

"Well, let's go, do a warmup, I'll follow you for now"

Do you feel nervous working out with Irene around? Yes, definitely yes.

"Come on now, go all the way"

It was when you do some stretching, opening your leg out in a split while trying to lower your body to reach forward as far as you can did Irene see an opening.

She went and put her hand on your shoulder. The touch cause a sudden thrill for both of you.

"Relax your back, take a deep breath"

Irene managed to keep her composure as you were panicking. You did managed to calm down and follow her instructions as she pushed you further.

Unfortunately for Irene, the move doesn't last forever and she reluctantly take off her hand off your shoulder. Feeling somewhat contempt for feeling up your back.

"Now, go start your workout routine"

She doesn't like your routine as much as before. That is simply because she doesn't find any more opportunities to touch you.

She craves it, she craves you. It's slowly driving her mad, the sight of you has become a full feast for her desires. The touch that she felt still lingers in her hand. Your warmth, it's comforting, so much so she can't help but get close to you during the whole workout, never letting herself further than one meter away from you.

As the workout progress your body start sweating up, your body odour is something you've been self conscious about. A source of insecurity that forces you to wash yourself multiple time a day.

For Irene, the smell is addicting, it was something she want to turn into a candle and light it up all around her house.

Needless to say she got more and more restless, she wants to touch you.

She wants to run her hand through your sweat stained t-shirt, she wants to dig her face to your neck and inhale your scent so it will imprint itself in her mind.

"That's enough, now we need to work on your flexibility"

She snapped, she can't hold it any longer.

"Go down on the mat"

As you sit down she walked behind you, putting both hand on your shoulder.

You felt, scared, intimidated. You wrote it off as a normal feeling, one of a junior when their senior is watching them very closely. If you were in the right mind you would've notice it was much more than that, it was the feeling when a prey felt when they have been caught in the hand of their predator.

"Now, let's start with the basic"

You have fail the basic, much to your dismay. Feeling the shame and embarassment rise in you, you grit your teeth and look up to her.

Only to find her faint smile while her eyes is filled with imagination and, hunger.

Irene is happy, you're terrible at this, so much so that she can spend alot of time teaching you for it.

"It's okay, we can still improve"

Her words of encouragement felt like pity for you.

"Now, it's my turn to workout, help me for a second"

Once again, anxiety fill you up.

"Come on, hold my leg"

She find a few manuvers where she could force you to held her close.

She felt fulfilled after feeling up all your body from before. Now she wants something else, she wants you to touch her.

Your big rough hand can be felt clearly through her tight thin outfits. She ejoy the gentleness you put on your touch.

She ejoy your meek expression as you held her.

She enjoys your shyness and attempt to look away from her only to fail and check her out every now and then.

Once she's satisfied she ended the training.

"That's was good, it is a productive first day. It's still 7 AM, why don't you get a shower so we can enjoy breakfast together"

Of course, that doesn't mean she's done with you.

You slipped off to the shower, taking a bath and clean up every inch your body.

Irene sneaked into the locker, she heard the shower noises so she ran to your gym bag. Taking out your t-shirt.

It's wet from your sweat, although it's not drenched like before since you had time to cool down as you help her stretch.

As she took out you t-shirt, the smell attacked her nose. Without thinking she stuffed it to her face, taking a deep breath, inhaling the scents.

"Oh god~~"

Moans escaped her lips as her pants is slowly developing wet spots. She doesn't wear panties, hoping that you would be brazen enough to get a feel of her ass.

Of course, you were to scared for your life to do so.

Then the shower stopped, Irene was woken up form her daze, she ran to the exit before escaping to her locker room.

She pull out a plastic bag from her gym bag, carefully putting your t-shirt in it before zipping it close. Your t-shirt will be out to good use for the next week or so.

You waited for her at the gym, she has make it clear that she wants to eat breakfast with you.

Not long Irene walks out, looking fresh and proper. She wore a white shirt along with a black pencil skirt. Awakening the teacher links you have in you.

"Come on, let's go"

Her smile is blinding you.

She took you to her office, seemingly already ordered a breakfast for two from the two take out box on her table.

"So, this was fun"

Irene is never been the one who started a conversation, however, it's been established that you, are different for her.

"Y-y-yeah, thanks for today noona"

You nervously look at her curious gaze.

"Of course, I have a question, why did your friends called you blue?"

"Well, it was during the audition, there was a little written test. Well not a test, there was just a few questions about me and my dreams and they want us to write it on paper. They gave me a pen, but then, it broke, somehow. Spraying blue ink all over myself and my hand. So, I finished the whole audition with a blue staint on my hand, face and shirt. The interviewer doesn't really think much of it, it was an error for their part. I don't mind it much either since they said it won't be a problem. The confidence u show even though I looked silly with the ink made them accept me. Some of the trainee was there as well, they called me blue man. I find it funny and just roll with the nickname"

Irene frowned for a second, noting to get to the bottom of this. Finding the person responsible to humiliate you like that.

"Where do you audition in?"

"Japan, Tokyo, I had a few Korean friends and have been, well somewhat talented in singing. So I just took the audition and got accepted"

Irene's warm smile and friendly demeanour distract you from finding out it was an interview by her.

Needless to say, you pass with flying colours. In her eyes, you went from an object of desires and lust to a perfect icon for her ideal type of men.

"Well, thank you again for today Noona, I'm not sure how to repay you"

You've grown accustomed to her presence, which is something Irene noticed and took joy in.

"It's okay, go work hard today okay? I'll see you tomorrow"

"Tomorrow? We're doing this again?"

"Hehehe, of course, we'll be doing this until you pass my standard"

"O-o-o-okay then, see you tomorrow?"

She smiled and nodded. As you walk out of the room, Irene is staring at your back.

Slowly she cursed you, making her feel this way. She's Irene, the queen of kpop, the one who have rejected many men, all of which is much more accomplished than you.

Yet now, somehow, she's in love with you.

That's right, she can no longer deny it, she loves you, and she wants you. Whatever she wants, she get it.

Irene doesn't hate men, she knows that now, she's helplessly in love with you.

This new routine has drained you slowly.

After the first week you felt like you want to die. You're probably dead actually, you just didn't realise it.

Every morning you will find Irene waiting for you in the gym. You could've sworn she keep picking the most revealing outfits she have.

Everyday, Irene is getting bolder and bolder. She would start to caress your back as you were doing your early stretching.

When she made you stretch your leg on the floor she would openly feel up your chest, disguising it as a way for her to keep her balance.

When you help her with her stretches she will keep suggesting for you to touch her even more, much to your dismay.

You kept your respectful, touch though, much to her dismay.

At day 4 or 5, you realized she's not wearing any panties. Her white tight yoga pants has show her perfect ass to you when she was facing away from you.

This doesn't go unnoticed by Irene, which excite her even more.

Unfortunately for her, you never do anything more than staring when you think she wasn't watching. She's always watching.

You did realised your shirt occasionally went missing, only to find it the next day.

Organized is not what you are, so you just wrote it off as your clumsiness or lack of attention to details, which is ironic.

The things you hate the most, is Irene keep buying you breakfast. Everytime you always insisted for her to let do that.

Everytime she will win the argument, a gentle smile, a little caress on your hand, and then you'll be a blushing mess, to shy to say anything else.

The new routine is perfect for Irene, she loves it, but slowly, she realised it's not enough.

Every night she would suffocate herself using your used gym outfits while masturbating.

The first time she did it was heavenly, the best orgasm she ever had.

Irene is not a pure girl, she has her own sexual needs. She knows how to keep it down though, never realising that her drive, is way too high for normal people.

All those years of controlling herself is out of the window now, because of you.

She have your pictures, she took photo of you time to time during the workout.

She has videos of you, masking it as a way to explain your form to you.

Every time she got the chance she would open this pictures and videos. Revering your body, your movement, all of you, is something she can't get enough for.

She wants more.

She needs more.

She needs you.

"Hey blue, you want to get some ramen"

Your friend invited you for a lunch.

"No bro, I'm poor"

The life of an unemployed, well, technically a college student.

"Come on, I'll pay"

You felt yourself cringe for a second before quickly hiding it.

"No, I can eat at the cafeteria, they have nice chicken"

Nobody like the cafeteria food, they felt, bland. Not that you care, they tasted better than the trash food that you used to eat.

"Ahhh, fine, we'll buy you something nice"

They quickly scurry off leaving you alone in the practice room. For a few moments you were contemplating should you go out and eat or should you continue practicing.

However, the choice was made for you, by a beautiful pale beauty walking in the empty practice room.

"Oh Noona, good afternoon"

You hurriedly stand up and bowed to her.

"I was looking for you, why didn't you go out to eat?"

She managed to hide her aggravation with the tone of curiousity.

"Oh, I was thinking to practicing a bit more. Beside I'm not hungry"

Irene looked at you, with the cold, angry eyes. Silently she started walking to you.

"Noona?"

Her aura seems to grow so much so you felt your whole body shivering.

She didn't say anything until she got in front of you.

"You, are, eating, lunch"

She crossed her arm and the coldness in her eyes is gone, leaving nothing but anger.

"I, I'm really fine Noona, I don't nee-"

Your argument is sound and flawless, unfortunately she shut you up by grabbing your shirt and pulling you out.

"Okay, Noona, can you let me go now?"

Seeing no way out of this, you sighed and compromise with the current situation.

She stare at you for a second before letting go of your shirt. You sighed with relief but then she grabbed your hand. Interlocking her fingers with yours before she continue walking.

"Noona? I don't need to be held-"

Yet again, your argument was indisputable, but do you really want to finish it? Especially when Irene turned around, giving you a glare that could pierce your heart and slice it to a perfect 1 cm³ cube.

You shut your mouth, wisely. Irene continue walking in front of you, hiding her bright smile from your gaze.

Without caring she pulled you to the elevator and clicked the basement floor.

You felt nervous, what if someone sees you? Subconsciously your hand start to press on Irene's and your finger start caressing her hands.

Irene loves it, your grip was hard, so much so she felt bone being squeezed together. Your rough fingers also sends tickling sensation to her heart everytime they grind themselves again the back of he palm.

Then suddenly the door opened, and an employee walked in.

Your anxiety went through the roof, in an instant you squeezed Irene's hand even harder. The pain was intoxicating for Irene, she had to bite her inner cheek to remind herself not to squeal right there and then.

The employee looked at your intertwined fingers, then they looked at your nervous face, then to the glaring Irene.

They slowly stepped backward as the elevator door closes again. Much to Irene's joy her little paradise is kept pure.

The basement was empty, Irene immediately dragged you to her car, putting you on the passenger seat.

"Where are we going Noona?"

"Some place nice"

"I, I don't have much money Noona"

"It's okay, I'm paying"

You grimaced feeling uneasiness well up in your body.

"You, really don't have too Noona, you already payed for all our breakfast earlier. I can eat at the cafeteria, I promise I'm gonna eat"

Irene saw your face contorted for a second, something she will throughly research later in the day.

"No, I insist"

She turned on her car and start driving. You swallowed your uneasiness and tried to focus on something else.

Her perfume is nice.

Okay, not that one please.

The car is cool.

You, don't like cars.

Her fingers seems so hot.

Okay this not working at all.

Irene on the other hand, has embraced your presence. She is struggling to drive while her body keep screaming to throw herself on to you.

She wants to hold your hand, she wants to run her fingers through your fluffy hairs, she wants to taste your lips.

The 15 minute drive felt like an hour for both of you.

"Come here"

Irene once again held your hand to lead you to the reserved seat.

"You like French food?"

If I say no I feel like she still wouldn't let me go eat in the cafeteria.

"I never tried it"

"Good, this is the perfect place to start"

Lady, I can barely afford to buy water from this place, don't make my food palate become higher than my own financial capabilities.

"Why do you not like being treated?"

"You mean getting people to feed me out of pity?"

"Is that what you think I'm having? Pity?"

"I mean, no offense, I don't think I have much selling point to make you feel anything otherwise"

"That's not true, I like you"

"I.... thanks Noona, that's very kind of you"

"You don't get it"

"Yes?"

"I like you, romantically"

So, remember that little organ called heart? Well it's a very important organ to help your body functions, and keep you alive. Well, you lost it, unfortunate.

"Yes?"

You managed to squeak out after god knows how long.

"I like you"

"Yes?"

"I want to go out with you"

"Yes?"

"This is our first date"

"...... Yes?"

"Good, from now on we're going out"

"Uhmmmm...... Yes?"

Your timidness has grown Irene's interest in you, thankfully you kept quiet after this or else she would pounce you and start kissing you all over.

Everything else felt like a blur for you, things just went pass you, without even thinking you start eating the food.

The confusion you had overpowered the taste the food has given you.

"Be my boyfriend"

You stare at her in a catatonic state.

"Good, we're official from now on"

Do you even speak Korean? That language seems alien for your since you can't understand a single word coming out of Irene's mouth.

Irene left you to your demise, as she was enjoying the sight of a lost bunny right in front of her.

Even as you finished your lunch you didn't say anything. Not when Irene grabbed your hand and wrapped her arm around it. Not when Irene put her head on your shoulder as you got in the car. Not when Irene got to your company building and pulled you to her embrace and start playing with your hair.

"Baby, do you want to stay with me for the whole day?"

Her whispers in your ears woke you up. Her tone is so cute yet also, lustful. Her breath tickling your ear making sure you know how close she is to you right now.

"I-i-i-i need to go"

You stuttered trying to get off her hug.

"Ssssshhhhh, let's leave you a memory, for today's date"

She yanked your collar down, exposing your chest.

As you were frozen she leaned in, giving your peck a kiss, long enough to left her lipstick imprint on your chest.

"Aghhh, Noona don't do that"

Irene pulled herself back, leaving a thin trail of saliva between her lips and your chest.

You glanced down to see the red imprint on your chest was contrasting to your pale white skin.

As you tried to wipe it Irene grabbed your hand while glaring at you.

"Leave it"

"What? Noona, I can't just-"

"Leave it"

Her eyes is stern and firery, her grip is weak, but since her nail is sinking to your flesh you can only winced in pain.

"Okay"

You can only sighed in defeat, Irene nodded happily before pulling your hand. She watch the faint mark of her nails on your hand before gently caressing it.

"You're my boyfriend now, so I have to make sure you don't get preyed upon by others. Just do as I say okay baby? Then I won't hurt you"

Everything suddenly flood back to you, all those feelings in the back of your head all banded back together telling you it's too late.

You can't run.

"Okay Noona"

She smiled again before grabbing your chin.

"I've wanted to do this the moment I met you"

She leaned forward, your head screams to run, but your instincts screamed back that it would only lead to your death.

You leaned forward as well, taking her lips with yours.

The kiss was, pleasant for you, she seems to be more driven by lust making it one of the most aggressive kiss you've been in.

For Irene, the kiss was heavenly, she wants more, she wants your lips, your spit, it all taste like the sweetest nectar made for the gods.

Her whole body tensed up as she tried her best to stop herself from devouring you, yet your godly taste was just too enticing for her.

However, she's not a god, she got reminded of that by her own lungs screaming for air.

"Haaaa, Haaaa, I love you"

Between her panting she gaze into your eyes, her iris is dilated, in a shape of -it's impossible but you swear you see it- a heart.

Her lips is twisted to make the widest smile she has ever had in her life.

Her tongue slitehered out, licking her lips trying to take more of your taste.

She's drunk out of you.

"I, love you too"

If you can hear her organs you will go deaf from the squeak they just let out. Irene can't let go of you, unfortunately for her, she have to.

"I'm picking you up after your practice okay baby?"

Her gaze leave a chill in your spine, yet it also arroused you.

"Okay, babe"

This time, she let out a happy squeal while her hand is shaking.

"I love you"

She leaned in again to give you a peck on your lips.

Just a peck, she still have some self control so she knows if it's any longer than a peck then both of you won't be able to leave this car with your clothes on.

She escort you back to your training room, this time there's other people in the elevator.

You're happy you are off the hook from the hungry wolves that's holding you by the arm right now.

They gave you a weird and surprised look, but Irene doesn't mind, why would she? She have her eyes to one man, and one man only.

She escorted you to the front of your room.

"I want you to call me once you're done, and I want you to wait here until I pick you up"

Is she my mom or my girlfriend? Why the fuck am I asking this question about the Irene of Red Velvet.

"Okay.... Babe?"

She squealed again before kissing your cheek.

"Keep up your hard work"

You can't, how could you? You're having a relationship with Irene. God damnit you just made out with her in her own car 5 minutes ago.

Thankfully for you, nobody notices the red lipstick mark on your chest.

"Blue you're zoning out a lot"

"Oh yeah, sorry, I, don't feel so good"

"Is it the kimchi again? That's it dude, you're not eating in the cafeteria again"

"No, I'm fine, I...... Got a text from an old friend....... He took me out for lunch today"

"Oh? Your friend take you out on a lunch is okay but we're not"

"Come on man, I haven't seen him in so long, and I payed for my lunch"

"That's the thing dude, we don't want you to, we know your situation so just let us help you okay?"

"I, listen I am grateful for your help, but, I don't like owning someone something"

"Just, take it as a debt, you can pay it back once you debuted"

"I, thanks, but, I think I have a way to get lunch from now on"

"Fine then, but if I see you in the cafeteria again I'm dragging you to the McDonalds"

You almost die. By that it means you almost forgot to call your..... Girlfriend....?

Your call didn't get picked up, because you saw Irene waiting for you by the elevator.

Stern pose, angry glare, crossed arm, she's furious.

"Come here"

She pulled you the elevator, her aura is enough to deter any of your fellow trainee to jump in with you.

"I, sorry Noona, I was just about to call you"

"Oh is that so? Do you want to wait until you walk home to call me?"

"No, I was just tired from today's practice. I'm still adjusting to the new sleep schedule remember? I feel tired"

"You can't be tired, we need to do our second date today"

"T-t-t-today?"

"Yes, do you have a problem with that"

Irene is furious, she is holding herself from jumping you right now and you know it.

"I, just think we should rest for now"

"No, I'm having a second date with my boyfriend right now"

Her roar could probably be heard from outside of the elevator.

"Then, what if, we have a date, in my place"

Immediately you see her whole body relaxed. Her furious expression turned to one of happiness and relief.

"Okay, then, good"

More than good, I can go to his place. I was trying to take it slow and go there tomorrow but he jumped in to offered it for me himself. He really does love me. We are meant to be babe, we will be the greatest couple to ever live.

She can't contain herself and gave you a kiss again.

"I love you"

Her whispers is almost as deafening as her roar from earlier.

"I, love you too Noona"

Irene can't decide if she loves Noona or babe more, but again as long as it's from you she will love it either way.

She dragged you to the car, practically sprinting to it before she drive to your place. How does she know where you live?

"Come on, move"

She even knows your apartment number.

Fear is enveloping you as you slowly unlocked the door to your apartment.

She hops in the moment the door is opened, you walked behind her before locking the door behind you.

Suddenly as you turn Irene slam you to the door, she grabbed your collar and pulled you to make out with her.

His fragrant is so addicting, his taste is heavenly, what's a 3 Michelin star food compared to this. Even his little moan- Haaaa, he's moaning, oh my god, I'm getting wet. He's so perfect, and even more than perfect now, he's my boyfriend.

She practically dry humping your leg that's between hers right now.

"Noona"

You pulled away, making her frown deeply.

"We should, move to the bedroom"

Her eyes lights up again, she dragged you inside, holding you by your collar.

The destination is the bedroom, the pit stop is everywhere.

She pushed you to the wall and made out again.

She pushed you to your couch and dry hump your crotch while sucking on your tongue.

She draged you to the door only to jump up and kiss you again, as you held her by the thighs.

Finally she got to your bedroom, pushing you down before taking off your shirt.

"Noona, you're so.... Hot"

Fuck your mind, how can you say no to Irene. Fuck the logic, fuck the instinct, fuck survival, you want her.

You craved her, as much as she craves you. Within just a few minutes you've fallen with her, deep into the abyss.

She dives to her favourite meal, your mouth. Her hand is practically feeling up every inch of your torso and arms.

You let go of your primal instinct and grabbed her ass.

"Ahhhh, squeeze it babe"

That's your intent, giving some firm squeeze making her let out a moan. Raising your hand, you then drop a slap on her ass cheek.

"Aghhhh, again"

She stopped kissing you and held you by the back of the neck. Her head is digging deep into your neck while bitting it.

"You're. Such. A. Succubus"

With every word you deliver a hard slap to her cheeks.

"Baby, I'm cumming, I'm cumming"

She moans as her teeth is holding on to the skin on your neck.

"A slut"

You slapped both of her ass and grabbed it, hard.

"Babbyyyyyy"

Her screams was loud and the pitch was enough to make a dog deaf. You didn't care, you bite into her neck.

Her body that's squirming is going in to a full on seizure as she reached her climax.

"I love you, my slutty, beautiful Noona"

You whispered in her ears as she was fighting for her life in your embrace.

After what seems like hours she stopped spasming, her breath got heavy as she seems to lose her energy.

"Tired already?"

"Never"

She sat on your lap before taking off her own outfits.

Her pink bra seems so cute enveloping her breast. Almost like an invitation for you to drown yourself in it.

An invitation, that you take.

Sitting up you used both of your hand to take it off and started bitting her already erect nipple.

"Baby"

Her moans and squeal sounds so defenseless, the polar opposite of the image she always gives off.

She put both hand around your head, hugging it and pushing you to dig deeper to her.

Her leg is locked to your stomach, hugging you like a baby koala hanging for it's life.

"Baby, I'm cumming"

Your hand grabbed her body, pushing her on to you. Your mouth is sucking on to her nipples greedily.

Her hand and leg tightened themselves on you as her climax came again.

This time, it's much shorter, but not less intense than before.

"Tired?"

You can't help but to tease her.

"Never"

She got off your lap before taking off your pants.

Your already erect member was mesmerising to her.

Your tip was leaking precum, using her hand Irene wipe it before licking it.

"You taste so good"

Her body shake before she took your member into her mouth.

Jesus her lips is so attractive. The way it wrap itself around your dick, the red, plump lips was a vacuum to your dick.

She can't take it all in, but that doesn't matter, because even with half inside you still feel her magic is working.

Then she took it our of her mouth before jerking it with both hands. Her mouth then travel down to kiss your balls and suck on it as well.

"Are you coming baby?"

Her high pitched whine push you even harder. She kissed your balls, and the bottom of your cock.

Your cock and balls was ridden with red lipstick smudge all over, something that arouse you even more.

She put your dick back to her mouth, this time, by the power of sheer will she managed to take all your member in her mouth and throat.

As her lips reaches the base she turned it in to leave another fine red imprint on it. She read your mind, she knows how to push you over.

"Noona I'm coming"

Hearing your moans she stopped giving you a deep throat, leaving only your tip in her mouth.

With the help of her saliva she used both of her hands to jerk you off.

Your cum sprayed into her mouth, undoubtedly turning all of it's inside to a white mess.

Her eyes rolled behind her eyes as she took a deep breath with her nose.

Then, as your climax ended she took the tip off her mouth.

She look at you with pride, then she opened her mouth and sticks out her tongue, showing your cum pooling inside her mouth.

Her lips is smudged all over, her mascara is runined with her tears, her mouth is practically over filled by your sperm.

A sight even the gods can only dream off, is right in front of you right now.

She closed her mouth back and then gulp it down. You can hear the sickening yet arrousing swallowing sound from her mouth. She opened her mouth back and sticks out her tongue to show nothing remains in her mouth.

Her eyes is filled with pride and happiness, almost, pure, a pure happiness of her own accomplishment.

You grab her by the thighs before picking her up and put her in the bed.

"Take it off baby, I can't wait for you anymore"

Pulling down her skirt you see her panties is practically drenched and even dripping some of her juices.

You pulled it down as well, giving you sights for the main course.

"Put it in baby, I want to feel you inside, make me yours, fill me up, pleaseeee"

She's whining and begging you like a spolied kid.

Any other time you would slow down and teased this ice queen, but not now, now, there's only one thing you wanted to do.

"OH MY GOD~~~~"

She screamed as her body convulsed yet again as you put the whole length of your member in.

You waited as she was orgasming. Wanting to remember this view for the rest of your life.

As it ended you realise there's a red stain coming out of her vagina.

"You're a virgin Noona?"

She nodded, without any shame.

"I'm waiting for you"

God she's a psycho, I love it. Wait, what?

You started thrusting, slow and hard, making her breat jiggle everytime you sink your dick deeper into her.

Moans and moans keep escaping her lips.

"Baby, I love you, I love you so much, baby faster"

She let out a high pitched whine as you continue thrusting into her.

"Oh god you're breaking me baby"

"Aghhhh, so deep, you're so deep inside me"

"Faster baby, break me apart, tear me into two GODDDDD........"

"I can't hold it anymore, please, faster"

"Baby, I'm cumming"

"You can't cum yet"

"Baby pleaseeee"

Oh god, the sight of Irene whining and begging in front of you is to hard for you to resist.

"I'm coming too"

You grunted and lay forward to be on top of her.

"Inside baby, fill me up, fill me up with your seeds"

She whisper before she kissed you again.

Your thrust is getting faster, her walls is getting tighter. Then, you felt your dick squirmed, she must've felt it too since her leg went to lock you in place.

"I'm cumming"

She screamed into your mouth as her body was sent into another seizure.

You're drained, your breath was heavy and slow. As you finished depositing sperm in her untouched womb you got off her and lay next to her.

"I, love you"

Tears starts to pour down her eyes, a joyful tears.

"I love you too, my ice cold Noona"

You kissed her again, and as you do, there's only one thing in her mind.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

You're fucked mate.

"Baby, hug me"

Irene whined as she envelopes her limbs around you.

"Okay, babe, let's, get in the right position to sleep first okay"

She grunted as you drag her so she can lay on the bed with you. Irene nuzzled up close to you, her nude body is pressing up against you, making you feel every inch of her perfect skin that has become sticky from her sweat.

"I love you, I love you so much baby"

Irene's small whimper is the devil's whisper that keep pulling you deeper and deeper into her.

"Okay, Noona"

Why would you say that?

"Say it back"

She spat as she pinched your neck.

"Awww, I love you to Noona, I told you earlier"

She doesn't seems satisfied.

"I want to hear it from you every moment in my day for the rest of my life"

Fuck, what do I do now? Why the fuck did I succumb to my own dick?

"O-o-o-okay Noona"

She smiled again, letting go of your neck.

"I like it when you stutter like that, you're so cute, my baby boy is so perfect"

She rubbed her face all over your cheek.

"Let's go to sleep Noona"

She squealed.

"I love you, good night baby"

"G-good night, Noona"

It's been a long day, you went through a lot. The moment you closed your eyes you feel your consciousness slowly sleep away.

The next morning you woke up with the heavy weight of someone on top of you.

"Morning babe"

You were still blinking your eyes trying to wake up when you felt Irene's lips pressing up against yours.

"Noona"

You pulled back, making her let out a growl.

"I-i-i-i need to w-w-w-wash my teeth"

Opening your eyes you see Irene is looking at you with dissatisfaction.

"I don't care, I want to kiss you"

She tried to kiss you again but you close your mouth making her face turned to anger.

"Noona please, let me wash my teeth first okay? You can kiss me all you want after"

She frowned but nodded anyway.

You stood up, trying to get out of bed, which is hard when Irene is clinging on to you.

"Noona, I can't move"

She just looked at you with a cute puppy eyes.

"I, love you?"

She smiled and kissed your cheek before letting you go.

"I love you too babe"

You went to your bathroom, with Irene following close behind you.

"Noona, I need, to take a shit"

She frowned yet again.

"Once you're done, I'm making out with you for an hour"

Was it an ultimatum? A promise? You decided to not think about it before you locked the bathroom door.

"Fuck"

You went to wash your face.

"What the fuck just happened"

You were hoping that your reflection would answer you, thankfully it didn't.

You do your morning duty before washing your face yet again hoping you would wake up in this weird dream.

When you go out you see Irene is waiting for you in your couch.

Crossed leg, crossed arm, cold eyes, she returned to the old Noona you know. Although, it was only for a moment, she smiled to you, a warm yet sinister smile.

"Come here honey"

You, awkwardly sit next to her.

"I love you"

She grabbed your hand, both of them.

"I love you too Noona"

You tried your best to be earnest.

"I want you to be honest with me"

"Okay"

"Do you have any relationship before me?"

Her eyes turned cold and sinister, you felt her hand pressing up harder against yours.

"I.... Do"

A few bones in your hand might broke off from the sheer force of her ire.

"You...."

Her growl made your body tremble.

"They're, just in the past"

She grabbed both of your head before pushing you to lay down on the couch.

"I don't care, I've waited so long for you and you can't even do the same? You're even a decade younger than me but you don't have any patience? For me?"

What? What is she talking about? What am I walking into right now?

"Noona, we just met, a week or so ago"

"I don't care, you should've waited for me"

Your face was wet, from her saliva and some tears. That's right, she's crying.

"I-i-i-i'm sorry Noona"

Good news, you felt her hand lower down from your face. Bad news, it's resting on your neck.

"You, fucking, cheater"

It tightened around your neck making let out a choked gasp.

"Noona"

You gurgled out.

"I hate you, I hate you so much"

Is this it? How you gonna die? Was it worth it for a night with Irene?

"Who's the bitch"

She suddenly let go of your neck and grabbed your head again.

"WHO WAS IT"

She screamed at you as you were coughing hard.

"My ex?"

You managed to squeak out.

"Yes, the bitch who seduced my man"

How do I get out of this? Fuck it, let's flirt our way out.

"Baby, it's nobody important, I already forgot about them"

You slowly wrapped her arm around her.

"They're bitches who almost succeed in getting you from me"

She's still mad, but her body atleast responded to your touch.

"They didn't, and even if I met you while I'm still dating them I would still choose you. We were made for each other right?"

Your forced smile is enough to calm her down a little.

"I don't want you to ever meet them again"

You nodded, obviously.

"And I want you to marry me"

You didn't nod, obviously.

"Say yes"

Fuck how do I get out of this. Uhmmmm, think fast brain, think.

"I, want to be the one who proposed"

She looked at you with discontent.

"Then propose to me"

What now smart guy? You felt your leg started to shake nervously.

"I need to buy a ring"

She snorted.

"I don't need a ring, I need to hear you say it"

Go all out? Fuck it I don't want to die.

"I, want to buy it, for you. I want to make it, romantic"

She frowned, cutely this time.

"You don't need to do that"

She can blush?

"I have to, we only get to, well I only get to propose once right? And we get married once, so I want to put all my effort on it"

Oh my god, Irene is blushing, hard. She looked away from you shyly, a very cute view, if only she didn't try to strangle you to death earlier.

"You're such a flirt"

You were stunned by her words, but recover quickly.

"For you, I have too, because..... I love you, and only you, forever"

She dug her face to your chest before letting out a shy shriek.

"Baby?"

She immediately attacked your mouth. Her hands is holding you from behind and work as your head pillow.

You felt your cheeks getting wet, her little moan and squeal also tells you, she's crying.

"I love you, oh god I love you so much it hurts. Hold me tight babe, don't let me go, never let me go"

She pulled away showing her tearful face.

"Okay babe, I love you too"

She took of your shirt.

"I want you, I want you again inside me babe"

She whined as she took of her's as well.

"I, am tired"

She kisses your cheek.

"I know, I'll do all the work this time. Just lay there okay baby?"

She pulled down your pants before ditching her panties and start grinding her already wet pussy on your dick.

"Hold my hand baby"

She reached out to you. You pulled up your hand and she immediately took it, interlocking your fingers with each other.

With the support from your hand she continues her grinding until your dick became hard.

Without waiting any longer she put it inside her.

"Aghhhhh, baby"

Her hands squeezed yours as her leg was quivering.

"You're, so tight Noona"

You can't help but groan feeling her inner walls is squeezing your dick, ready to milk it until it ran dry.

"I'm the best right baby, I'm better than those bitches? I have the best pussy you ever tried?"

Her eyes is filled with madness and a crave for your praises.

"You're the best one Noona, nothing come close to you"

You let go of her hand and reached to grab her ass.

"Yeah baby, my pussy was molded for your cock, it's perfect, we're perfect, I love you, I love you so much"

Losing it's support she drop down to you and start to nibbling on your neck as her hips start to pick up the pace.

"I love you too Noona"

You moaned feeling her teeth is biting on to your collarbone.

"You're so big, I'm breaking baby, do you want to tear me into two?"

Fuck this succubus is insane

Your hand starts to spank her ass making her moan louder and louder.

"Break me baby, fill me up, I want to feel your cum inside again. Come on, fill me up baby, fill up your Noona with your cum"

Your hip started moving, matching her pace. Every thrust you send made her thighs and ass wiggle. Her moans and screams start to shake matching her body's trembles.

"I'm coming baby"

She moaned as she sinked her teeth to your chest.

"No Noona, you don't get to cum"

You have to do it, how can you pass up the opportunity to dominate Irene?

"Baby please"

She raised her head showing her teary eyes and begging expression.

"If you cum, I will hate you"

You see her face was riddled with shock and fear, those two expression was then mixed with arrousal and lust as you start thrusting her faster and faster.

"Baby pleaseeee"

Her tears ran down her cheek. You almost feel sorry, almost.

"You cum when I cum, understand?"

She bite her lower lips, her tears running down her face.

"Babyyyyy"

Thankfully her whines help pushed you over the edge.

"Cum with me babe"

Your dick start to twitch, then as she felt your cum tainted her inner walls she let out a deep guttural groan as her body went to another seizure.

You felt, tired, drained, you lay on your couch panting as Irene was having an orgasm.

Finally it passed and she dropped to your chest. You hear her sobbing as her tears wet your chest.

"I'm sorry baby"

You decided to caress her head, she let out her cries as she hugged you.

Do you feel sorry for her? Maybe

Do you regret doing it? Fuck no

Finally she stopped crying and raised her tear stained face and her red eyes is looking at you timidly.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry, I just can't.... Stop myself when you're.... Being so cute"

Her tears falling again as she start to kiss you.

Her hands is hugging your neck, her leg is resting quietly between yours.

The kiss was, actually you're not really sure, probably 30 minutes or more.

"I love you baby, I really do"

Finally she finished and just whimper weakly in your ears.

"Okay babe, fuck it's already 7, I need to go"

She shake her head and just lock you in place.

"You're free for the day baby, cuddle me"

Even though her voice sounds so weak and tired you know resisting her now will only make your suffering greater tomorrow.

"I, need to contact my trainer at least"

She shake her head again.

"I don't want you to talk to other woman"

Fucking hell lady.

"Please?"

She then raised her face, it looked tired, but her eyes have some cold fury in it.

"Did you have her number in your phone"

Oh shit, here we go again.

"Yeah, I nee-"

She slapped my chest, it felt weak, but the emotional damage, well it's also weak since you're not that into her yet.

"Delete it"

You felt nervous, trying to make some excuses in your head.

"Why are you hesitating? You want to cheat on me again?"

You winced as she say that, knowing full well, what's gonna come for you for the rest of this relationship.

"I need her contact in case something happened"

She shake her head again.

"No, I don't care, delete it. If you want to say something then tell your friend to relay your message to her"

"Baby please"

"No, I lose you before I'm not losing you again to some scrawny whore who's going to seduce you. No baby, I'm not losing you again, not when I already have you in my arms"

What now? What will your brilliant mind come up with?

"I need it for my career"

She snorted.

"You only need me, if you want to debut just say it and I'll make you debut"

Sugar mommy is a pretty rare thing to have, especially someone this hot.

"Baby, I, need to earn it"

She growled again.

"You, can let me ask her right? I'm just telling her I'm sick"

Her face contorted as she grabbed your chest.

"Fine, but I want to see your chat history. In fact, I want to see your phone and check every single girl you tried to cheat on me with"

Well this is it, it's your life now.

[nightcolorz]

Armand could definitely 100% have prevented Claudia and Madeline’s death like obviously he is so full of shit 😭😭 he just chose not to. I dont think he was lying about being held captive, though. It seems more likely to me that he allowed himself to be imprisoned bcus the ultimate outcome would be desirable, rather then like, he was secretly orchestrating it all like a devious Master mind and was only pretending to be a prisoner to trick Louis. I think Armand was genuinely being imprisoned, but he could have easily escaped (as if the vampire Armand couldn’t win in a fight against Sam The Twink), and chose not to because it’s in his best interest for Claudia and Madeline to die 😭. While part of his betrayal I think comes from a comfort Armand takes in learned helplessness, where taking action feels less safe then leaning into victimhood, so armand chooses to accept helplessness rather then play the hero bcus helplessness is comforting, it was also definitely part “I want these two people to be gone from my life and this seems like a sure fire way to let it happen while I get to remain mostly blameless” 😭. Armand finds Claudia’s whole existence horrific and cruel. I don’t think he particularly likes or dislikes her as a person, he doesn’t seem to know her very well nor care to know her (he actually says this in tva lol), so I don’t think he considered letting her a die an act of spite.

Armand thought of Claudia as a suffering, rabid, sick and diseased animal that needed to be put down for its own well being. He considered her death an inevitable tragedy that “could not be prevented”, and bcus of his perspective on vampirism as a horrible curse that can only be spared through very specific very calculated and clean cut means, he wanted her death to come as quick and painlessly as possible. From Armand’s perspective, if he saved Claudia from death by execution, he’d only end up watching her excruciatingly loose her mind and self until she eventually killed herself or got put down by Armand or someone else Nicki style so that she wouldnt need to live in agony anymore.

Which, his whole perspective there is flawed, and fucked up, and dehumanizing of Claudia, but it makes sense why he would think that way. Armand considers vampirism to be always bad, regardless of the subject turned, and always smth he would hate to inflict on someone. So claudias turning, is not only cruel to Armand, but unforgivable and unsalvageable. He’s seen a lot of fucked up vampires in his time, a lot of botched turnings, and he knows from his experience how much of a toll vampirism takes on anyone, let alone someone in the body of a child. His whole “I will never turn someone into a vampire ever in my life” thing comes from this. So, of course he won’t save claudia from such a clean cut, blameless death 😭. He considers it an act of mercy, when he pictures the alternative as “Claudia clings to Madeline as she painfully looses her mind and eventually dies”. Which, comes into why he didn’t save Madeline either lol

Armand doesn’t particularly value life as smth to be worth preserving, he is very willing to view other ppl as commodities when it helps him. But he does value preserving peace and limiting other’s suffering (which is why he kills so gently). Armand is so horrified by Madeline being turned, partly bcus I think he saw himself in her. He sees a fledgling who he believes will inevitably loose her maker, the only person she rlly cares about, to horrible gruesome death, and he knows that once she experiences that her life as an immortal will be cruel and unbearable. So once she is turned, Armand sees another lost cause who will be better off if she is killed before it can get bad. What Armand misses when it comes to Claudia and Madeline, obviously, is that they r more resilient and self sufficient then he sees, and taking away their agency by deciding they have no hope and must die isn’t the mercy he sees it as but is actually like, fucked up and horrible. Armand is so blinded by his trauma fueled dog eat dog view of life as a vampire that he can’t see that.

I think the reason armand considers the perks of Claudia and Madeline’s death a priority over Louis’s happiness (and horrible grief that will ensue when his loved ones die), is bcus Armand considers Claudia and Madeline’s death an inevitable consequence of Louis’s unforgivably cruel actions. He doesn’t resent Louis for it I don’t think, but he definitely thinks that Louis will need to atone for what he’s done whether Armand wants him to or not. So, Armand is ok with Louis grieving (as long as it doesn’t turn to resentment of Armand), bcus it was ultimately inevitable, and comparatively less cruel then what he would have to witness alternatively. It’s a rip the Band aid off type of thing 😭😭

in conclusion uh Armand is bad but Armand has his reasons and Armand isn’t one dimensionally villainous, he has a ton of complex trauma induced reasons for the way he thinks, and his actions r more often then not coming from a warped view of “the kind thing to do” that comes from his lack of understanding of how kind the world actually is and can be (dog eat dog mindest etc), bcus of how horribly traumatized he is. thank u good night

[iamnotoriginalphil]

First of all your writing is amazing!!! Second of all hope you are having a good year so far! I was thinking for a request maybe reader x Rebecca Welton based on the line If lies keep falling from your lips then I’m out the door” where it’s the episode Keeley confronts her about the picture. Rebecca and reader ended up starting dating after the night in Liverpool, ends up finding out about Rebecca’s whole plan for the club and confronts her too where Rebecca tries to defend herself but reader isn’t having none of it wants to know why she was doing this, if what they have going on is just part of her plan to get back at Rupert since reader used to work under Rupert and he tried to make advances on her in the passed. With a Happy ending

Sweet Little Lies (Rebecca Welton x f!Reader)

Words: 2k

Warnings: swearing, lying, talking about Rupert

You’d known it was too good to be true. Of course it was. Why would a woman like Rebecca Welton ever be interested in someone like you? With her elegance and her poise, she was easily the most impressive woman you’d ever met, and without a doubt the most beautiful. You’d always thought so.

You were standing outside her office door, pacing backwards and forwards, trying to build up the courage to go inside. You hadn’t expected Higgins to break down after finding a stress rash creeping down his arm and you certainly hadn’t expected him to spill the beans about Rebecca’s plans. Admittedly, he’d thought you already knew, that you were in on your girlfriend’s plan, and felt worse upon realising you weren’t. But that still left you deciding how to bring it up with her.

You froze as the door was pulled open from the other side. Rebecca took a half step out before freezing when her eyes landed on you. You felt your eyes widening, the issue coming to a head before you felt ready.

“What are you-?” she began to ask before stopping herself.

“We need to talk,” you said.

“Uh oh,” she said, a brittle smile appearing on her face, “are you about to break up with me?”

You took a step towards her, finding her hand with yours. You stepped around her, ignoring the way just the touch of her palm against yours made you feel more grounded. And also made the butterflies in your stomach turn into a tornado.

You guided her back into her own office, closing the door to keep from being interrupted. Worry was etching itself on Rebecca’s face, eyes flicking over your expression as if trying to figure out what you were going to say. You weren’t sure what your face was doing but you thought it must have been grim. She was slow to sit on her sofa, hesitant when you didn’t join her.

“What’s going on, love?” she asked.

Having her blue eyes staring up at you weren’t making it easier for you. The amount of worry, and the fear you could see hiding behind that worry made you want to reassure her. You hated being the cause of her distress but you had to talk to her. You had to get to the bottom of it all. Because if you didn’t, when she revealed that she’d never actually wanted you, it would crush you.

“I’ve been talking to Higgins,” you said, “or I guess it would be more accurate to say Higgins talked to me.”

“That’s never a good start to a conversation,” she said, with one of those uncomfortable laughs that let you know that she didn’t like where the conversation was going.

“He told me about your plan,” you said, “about destroying Richmond and taking everything Rupert loved. He thought I already knew since I’m, you know, in a relationship with you.”

“Oh,” was the only reply you got.

“You’ve been lying to me this entire time, Rebecca.”

It sounded harsh to your ears and from the way she almost reeled back as if slapped it was clear it sounded harsh to her as well. But it was the truth. You had to remind yourself of that or else you’d find yourself apologising and begging for her forgiveness. You were in the right. You knew you were.

“I didn’t lie to you.” Her voice was so small.

“You didn’t tell me the truth,” you countered.

Your hurt was turning into anger and you were scared about what was going to happen. If she kept denying it, or minimising it you weren’t sure what you were going to do. You needed to hear her say it, just once, so you could know. If she couldn’t admit it, then you weren’t sure you could trust her about anything else.

“I thought you would hate me if you knew,” she said, shoulders slumping.

“If you can’t be honest with me, that’s going to be worse. I don’t care about you trying to get back at Rupert for fucking you over. I care that the way you’re doing it is hurting other people,” you said.

“The team will be fine. No one will blame them,” she said.

“They’ll blame Ted and he doesn’t deserve it. You know he doesn’t. He’s a good person,” you said, “and I know you set up Keeley so don’t even pretend. Is everyone else just collateral damage? Is it worth all of our pain?”

“Everyone else will recover. They can come back from this. I just want to destroy the club,” she said.

“Then I can’t stay,” you said.

“What?”

Those large eyes looked at you, a sense of panic beginning to overtake her expression. The worry and the fear were gone, slipping away in the face of your statement. You waited, needing to hear her response before you could move on.

“What do you mean you can’t stay?” she asked.

“Well, if I’m all just part of this plan to get back at Rupert, and this entire relationship has been a lie, then I won’t be putting myself through dealing with the indignity of staying in this relationship,” you said, ignoring the way just the words coming from you made it feel as if you were cleaving your own heart in two.

“You weren’t… you were never… I didn’t plan for you,” she said, seemingly not able to come up with the right words. You weren’t sure there were right words to come back from this.

“Of course I was. You got what Rupert could never have. Surely that will make him sting just a bit,” you said with a shrug, trying to make it sound casual, like you didn’t care, like your heart wasn’t being torn to shreds.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, “darling, our relationship was never part of my plan. It was unexpected. Wonderful, the most wonderful thing to come out of all of this, but I couldn’t have planned for falling in love with you.”

You felt your breath leave you.

“Don’t you… how dare you try and sweep this all under the rug by saying you love me for the first time?”

All attempts at remaining calm were all out the window. There was no calm in the face of what she was doing to you.

“I’m not trying to sweep the things I’ve actually done under the rug, but you’re not one of those things. You were never meant to be part of this whole fucking mess. I don’t know why you even would be. It’s not like he was in love with you,” she said.

“No but he tried to get off with me,” burst from you. You’d never told her because you never thought it was relevant. Only now it really felt like it was, especially if she’d known all along.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” It was the first sense you got that she was getting angry.

“Back when he owned the club. He would hit on me all the time. He made it very clear he wanted a shag, and I made it very clear I didn’t want that but he kept trying to change my mind,” you said, “but you knew that because now I’ve shagged you when I wouldn’t shag him. Just another up yours to him.”

“Darling, I had no idea.” Anger was mingling with sadness, pity perhaps in the mix too. “I wish I’d known.”

“Don’t pretend you didn’t,” you said, only your conviction felt shaky.

“You think I would sit idly by if he was harassing you?” she demanding, finally standing up, the anger getting to her. You’d always loved the way she towered over you, and even in her anger you weren’t worried it would be turned on you. You had that much faith in her, even if the rest of it had been rocked by the revelation.

“ I don’t…” You looked up into her thunderously angry face, “no, I don’t think you would.”

“Of course I bloody wouldn’t,” she said, but she seemed to calm at your words.

“So I really wasn’t part of your plan to back at Rupert?” you asked.

“No.” She brought both hands up to cup your cheeks in her warm palms, “you’ve been a wonderful surprise. The best thing to come out of this whole fucking mess.”

You looked up at her, feeling a flush of warmth for her. She hadn’t lied about your relationship. That had all been real.

“You have to tell Ted,” you said, “no more lies. If you keep lying to everyone then I can’t do this anymore.”

“I know. Of course. I was on my way to tell him when I found you,” she said.

“Good because I know you’re better than this. You’re better than your pain,” you said.

With both hands still on your cheeks, she tilted your face up towards her. She was slow as she approached, giving you plenty of time to move away but you didn’t. You couldn’t. She’d enchanted you, body and soul, and you were under her spell. The brush of lips was soft, still giving you enough time to pull away but you didn’t. If anything, you pressed closer, your arms curling around her body.

She was slow to draw back and when she did you whimpered. You never wanted to stop kissing her once you’d started. She was gentle as she pushed some hair behind your ear, blue eyes twinkling, lips curling up at the corner.

“You’re so lovely,” she whispered.

“Did you tell me you love me?” you asked, the thought finally penetrating through the fog of your heartbreak now it had stopped.

“I suppose I did.” Her smile faltered for a moment before stretching a little further.

“Did you mean it?”

She seemed to soften before you, a glow lighting her up from the inside out. You found yourself leaning closer, never able to fight against your impulse to fall into her. Her thumb brushed along your cheekbone.

“I did,” she said, voice soft, almost reverent in her confession.

“Say it again,” you requested.

“I love you,” she said, a little louder than before.

“Again.”

“I love you.”

You gazed up at her, feeling the intensity of the moment. Your heart was pounding and your skin was buzzing and all you wanted to do was melt into her. The first time you’d seen her, walking through the halls on Rupert’s arm, you’d felt yourself fall for her. Every day since it had only grown stronger. You still reeled from from the fact that she seemed to want you too.

“I love you too,” you whispered.

Her face split open in pure sunlight. Her smile widened and the joy was practically rolling off her. She pulled you in, kissing you without restraint. You were grinning into the kiss, not even caring when your teeth clashed together. She was laughing into your mouth and you found yourself following suit, until your cheek was pressed to hers and you were revelling in the moment.

It was an unexpected end to your conversation.

“You should go speak to Ted,” you murmured once the laughter had died down and you didn’t feel as if your heart was going to run away from you.

“Can’t we just stay here for a moment longer?” she asked.

“It’s time, Rebecca,” you said, “you have to tell him.”

“What if he hates me?” she asked.

“It’s Ted. I’m not sure he knows how to hate anyone,” you replied.

She paused a moment before her shoulders slumped again.

“Fuck, you’re right. I know you’re right. The bastard will forgive me,” she said, sounding unhappy about it.

“And afterwards, we can go home and watch Wizard of Oz and eat garlic bread,” you said.

“God I love you,” she said, pulling you into another kiss.

“Go on. Stop trying to distract me,” you said, tapping her on the arse.

The smile she flashed you over her shoulder as she left her office had you needing to suppress your own smile. Yeah, you loved that woman.

[9mysterybook6]

What do I expect from this coward?🤦‍♀️

I told her to come and face me.

But guess what Rhylie did?

Rhylie you can't run away from me not after you keep lying and harassing us

you tried to escape again

This is exactly what Rhylie did on her old account.

I will continue to spread awareness about Rhylie to everyone.

But look at her actions

I'm so scared she said

And Rhylie is still playing the victim.

I thought at least is not that worst

But I was very wrong

because of that the spoiled brat Rhylie

First I never said that I queen of Tumblr But that was you

You insisted on saying you are queen of Tumblr

I have evidence in the previous posts that you said this.

Plus Rhylie says that she is a god to all us🙄😬

And secondly

I never damsel in distress

I don't need anyone to save me

I can face my battles alone unlike you, you coward who hides behind your followers.

I said you are a fake damsel in distress And I did not mention myself in this phrase

else

Delete this now, You do not have the right to publish this drawing.

This drawing belongs to torrentialchaos.

This was an old drawing

When torrentialchaos didn't know Rhylie for who she really was

torrentialchaos story

((Alright, time for my story on Rhylie…

So, a while back, you may recall I did an art trade with Pami, and I very much enjoyed doing it.

Anyway, the next day, I got an ask in my inbox from her asking if I do requests, and of course I said yes. This was before I knew who she really was.

Anyway, her request was very simple. Draw herself, Pami, and a few other people (that she probably is also harassing) in the pose from Turning Red, which I did

Yes, I’m finally showing this now. Only so you can see what this creep made me do. I feel disgusted looking at this because I spent a good amount of time making this, only to find out I was being used for a stalker.

After I made this and posted it, I messaged Pami, of course since she was in it, and that’s when I found out the truth. Disgusted, I deleted the post immediately and blocked her.

And guess what happened next. A little later, I get a message from HER FRIEND asking me to unblock her! I unfortunately know what this is like as I had something similar happen to me once another time, but I’d rather not talk about that…

So yeah, that’s my Rhylie story. We need to get this creep off of tumblr for good.))

I feel bad for torrentialchaos

But what makes me angry is the response of Rhylie If you read what is in the picture

The worst thing is Rhylie taking The drawing without the owner's permission.

Seriously, torrentialchaos posted how they hates you now and you take the drawing and say three points

That's all matters to Rhylie.

her requests and demands

else Rhylie You prove it that you are 100% a Creep

I'm talking about this

@rainbow-starheart and @shadowwolfmemes was asked an important question

And you say you are 21 old And sensitive

You are asking someone with Different age from you to date you.

You don't even know them

They only know Rhylie through the drama

You ask to be in a relationship with people, you barely talked to them

Plus She wrote her name this way

(rhylie the cater fly is not a creep🤣🤣🤣🤣)

and other thing, I see your conversation with @rainbow-starheart

You want to get rid of me, you donkey

Don't make me laugh

What will you do? Will you send me one of your followers on me Or ask them to expose me

You are really stupid🤣🤣🤣

Guys I want to remind you, that Rhylie tried to make evidence against me In her old blog.

And it was very bad and weak evidence.

On top of that, she was confident of her weak evidence.

If you don't know what Rhylie evidence is

So let me tell you the funny thing.

Rhylie evidence was just a screenshot of On insults🤣🤣

just like that

There were many errors in Rhylie evidence.

First of all How do you know if this is was me huh

You just take a screenshot of the letters and Nothing indicates my blog

Unlike you, I take full screenshot on your blog

and secondly You can play with the letters.

You can easily mix my insults With fake sentences from you

For example, you can write something and take screenshot And you say I said this

and thirdly

She was very confident in them.

(((This is the real evidence, My own evidence are true and there are many truths about your true color that you've kept hiding from me and you lied and making everyone turned against me,

Unlike you, you're f**king delusional about your business and controlling everyone for what you have did to me.

Don't you see that all this hate posts about me makes others win against your fking Filthy mouth of yours, you're the worst gacha community leader ever and it is ugly and disgraceful, you have been kicked out from gacha community group, shame on you mysteryb*h!!!!!!

I won't let everyone forgive you…….))))

I'm laughing like crazy at Rhylie stupidity.

Even if one of Rhylie's followers tried to exposed me

They will be thrown Tomatoes at them.

Because first of all there is nothing to expose me at all

And secondly, if they tried to cover up Your crimes With an excuse and empty arguments, than Their position will be very bad.

And thirdly

If they try to lie about the truth or deny it

Their position will be very bad if they lied.

For example, if they said that @pamithebunterfly2007 Under mysterybook control And her lies

pami will respond angrily: This is not true.

pami: and Who gave you the right to say that?

pami: Rhylie is the problem

pami: Rhylie is a old creep stalker me!!! And you dare to say that mysterybook controls me

And pami showering them with their anger While others agree too

You're just making yourself worse and worse every second.

You can't get away with harassing people that easily without punishment.

So I suggest you to delete your blog from here Rhylie

I'm not afraid of you, You coward

Face it I'm the winner in this drama

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Sandy May Not Have Cheated on Soda

Y'all ready for another hot take?

I'm not saying it's likely, but it IS feasible that Sandy didn't cheat on Soda. I'm not saying she wasn't pregnant when she left- that's textual- but no where in the text does it explicitly say that Sandy cheated. It's implied, heavily, by Steve 1. and Darry 2., but never once is it explicitly said out loud. Additionally, Ponyboy remarks multiple times, that to his knowledge (and Soda's) Sandy really seemed to love Soda. Her blue eyes 'glowed' when she looked at him. Now, I know Ponyboy's narration is biased, and this could be read as part of his innocence and naïveté, but it could also be the truth. Sandy being shipped off to Florida to live with a relative was not uncommon for a teenager pregnant out of wedlock during the time period, but it was still a pretty swift and abrupt exit, especially since Sandy (presumably) wouldn't start showing for a while. It seems a little suspect to me. There's also the fact that Sandy wouldn't marry Soda. Now, I know the book says her parents took issue with it, but we know Sodapop is definitely the type of impulsive and romantic that he would be more than willing to steal her away and marry her anyway; but Sandy left and she sent his letter back unopened, so she clearly wasn't on board with that plan. The explanation of cheating is one that fits here to explain this away, but I'm not so sure. If I'd been sixteen and pregnant in the southern US in the sixties I'd probably have jumped on the chance to marry my handsome and devoted boyfriend, a guy so loyal he was willing to marry me even if I was (allegedly) pregnant with someone elses kid. yeah, Soda is poor but Sandy grew up poor and Soda had a full time job and a desire to make it work. Maybe Sandy is just a better person than me, or maybe there's a deeper- and darker- explanation at play here. Sandy was a lower class woman in the 1960s, and canonically doesn't come from a 'great home'. Knowing that the majority of teenage pregnancies involve a father who is an adult man, it stands to reason that there is a possibility that Sandy was raped or coerced into sex, and that the shame and trauma associated with that experience and the subsequent pregnancy were what led to her dumping Soda without a sufficient explanation and letting him draw his own conclusions, or lying about cheating either because she may have felt like she did after the assault or because it was easier than confessing what actually happened. She also can't have been the only east side girl to have gotten pregnant out of wedlock, and for all it would have damaged her reputation it may not have been irreperable in Tulsa. But rape victims are still stigmatized even in today's society, and it would have been a thousand times worse back then. If word got out, Sandy would have been a pariah. Maybe a fresh start in Florida and a chance to reinvent herself seemed better than any possible future in Tulsa.

Again, I'm not saying it's likely but it is POSSIBLE and definitely food for thought for a fandom that consistently demonizes Sandy without ever attempting to look deeper into her character.

"Look," Steve said, surprisingly angry, "does he have to draw you a picture? It was either that or get married, and her parents almost hit the roof at the idea of her marryin' a sixteen-year-old kid." (The Outsider, 1967).

2. "When Sandy went to Florida… it wasn't Soda, Ponyboy. He told me he loved her, but I guess she didn't love him like he thought she did, because it wasn't him."

[littledata]

I know you’re probably working on those prompts, but I, too, just ended up on North Sea tiktok, and if you have time, I’m curious what Ava’s reaction to that particular algorithmic destination would be. Because like, Bea’s the most capable person ever, but those waves are Very Big, and why isn’t everyone tethered to the boat at all times??

(From the on that dizzy edge universe. An example video if anyone would like context.)

For a long time, Ava's TikTok experience was predictable. It mostly went: hot girl biting her lip, hot girl playing guitar, hot dude baking a cake, weirdly mesmerising crafting video, drama about people she'd never met, hot person kissing another hot person.

The number of straight-up thirst traps has been on the decline recently though - mostly because Ava just has to turn her head and Bea will be changing her shirt or using a hammer or standing perfectly still, all of which is a lot hotter than any video she's ever seen. In its infinite wisdom though, The Algorithm has seen her scrolling past those videos and decided it needs to fill the void with something else.

That thing, apparently, is North Sea TikTok.

They're lying in bed when it happens for the first time. Beatrice had spent the first few weeks after she came home insisting they should try to maintain separate bedrooms, move their relationship along at an orderly and appropriate pace, but she pretty quickly gave in to the allure of spooning and her bedroom defaulted to being both of theirs.

Now, before they go to sleep, they often end up lying side by side while Beatrice reads one of her insane books about lesbian necromancers or whatever and Ava scrolls TikTok or reads fanfiction about hot people falling in love in coffee shops and stuff. It makes her feel mature and settled and safe in a way that's sometimes so exciting she has to take Bea's book out of her hands and make out with her about it.

Anyway, so they're doing that (lying in bed, not making out) when it shows up on her for you page. It starts with the weird, slow sea shanty, then there's the huge waves, and then someone is getting slammed in the face with the fucking ocean.

Ava lets it loop. Then she lets it loop again. Then she taps on the suggested search north sea tiktok and she's presented with a thousand more videos exactly like the first. People falling overboard and huge waves crashing over ships and and and -

"Bea." Ava taps her arm insistently.

Bea looks up from her book without much concern - she doesn't use TikTok but she does submit to being shown Ava's curated favourites. Also, she's wearing glasses and she looks super cute.

No, Ava, don't get distracted.

"Bea," she repeats and holds her phone up to her face.

Beatrice watches with a scrutinising gaze. When the video finishes, she says, "They really shouldn't be filming in those situations, it's distracting them from proper safety precautions."

Ava stares at her. "That's all you have to say? They could have died."

"Possibly," Beatrice agrees. "Once someone falls overboard it's very difficult to recover them, although certainly not impossible. And it depends a lot on the kind of ship. I assume someone wouldn't post a video where someone died though."

Although Beatrice's naivety about what people are willing to post on the internet is adorable, Ava's mind is stuck somewhere in between the words overboard and impossible. Even Beatrice, careful and capable as she is, couldn't keep herself from being swept off her feet by some of those waves. Ava can picture her so vividly, disappearing under the surface.

"You're not making me feel better about this."

"Oh." Beatrice blinks in surprise as if she has only just realised that they aren't having a purely practical discussion. She puts her book carefully down on the nightstand. "I'm not sure what to say. I can't lie to you and pretend it isn't dangerous. Those are cherry-picked clips showing the worst though, it isn't always like that."

Which, yeah, okay, Ava already knew it was dangerous. For all the months that Beatrice is away she lives with the low-level, prickling anxiety that the next call she gets will be telling her Bea is hurt, or worse. It's different seeing it though, seeing how quick it is, how powerful -

"How often are you in the north sea?" she asks, as if that's the only problem with it.

Beatrice winces, "Well, it depends. The contracts I work - " She explains something complicated and lengthy about shipping and demand and the company she works for and Ava thinks she's the most interesting person in the world but this stuff is, also, a little bit boring and she's still pretty busy picturing her girlfriend's imminent death.

She needs to send these videos to Camila. If there's anyone she can rely on to overreact with her, it's Camila.

"Ava," Beatrice says, seeing that she's lost her. She tugs Ava's phone gently from her hands and puts it down next to her book. Then she wraps one arm around Ava's shoulders and the other around her waist and pulls her in close.

Ava has always loved being hugged by Bea, even before they got together - she's strong and solid and lets Ava hold on for as long as she needs to. (Also, she smells fucking amazing, like, all the time).

It wasn't until they started dating that she realised Beatrice had been holding something of herself back though, not letting herself relax entirely whenever they touched. Now, it's as if her whole body sinks into it, like some tension evaporates the moment Ava's arms are around her.

Ava pushes her face into Beatrice's chest and inhales, lets herself hide there in the fabric of her shirt for a moment. It's dark and warm and hard to worry about anything.

"I promise I do everything I possibly can to come home safe to you," Beatrice says into her ear, "I'm sorry I can't give you any more reassurance than that."

"Okay," Ava says, voice muffled against Beatrice's chest. It's not enough but it has to be enough. This is Bea's job, the thing she loves more than anything else, and Ava won't ever touch the sanctity of that. "I'm still going to worry about you."

"I know." Beatrice presses a kiss into her hair and pulls back, "I worry about you too though, when I'm gone."

Ava rolls her eyes, "The most dangerous thing that could happen to me is Lilith finally snapping and turning on everyone she loves."

"So fairly likely then?" Beatrice asks.

Ava snorts, "Like a 90% chance."

They settle themselves to go to sleep, lying down fully and adjusting the pillows and blankets. That's another thing Ava learned recently: Beatrice - her big, tough sailor - likes being the little spoon. She won't admit to that, obviously, but she sighs contentedly whenever Ava wraps her arms around her from behind.

So when Beatrice reaches up to switch the lamp off, Ava does just that, presses herself against Bea's back. She listens to Beatrice's breathing become slow and even, and she clings on.

[annierosaart]

So I recently found your blog and you Exusiai theory and I'm in love with it, I really hope it becomes canon, is just so good and Exu is one of my fav charas I need more stuff with her on it on the main game.

Anyways, I've been playing on and off AK for the past yrs and I'm def lost when it comes to most of the story since it's a lot to catch up to, so can you explain more in-depth the Flammetta/Exusiai ship or at least relationship/parallelisms?

OH BOY CAN I

After the confirmation that Exusiai isn't connected to the other Sankta in Il Siracusano, it explained her entire character.

As I've explained in the post I made about her being disconnected originally, it always stood out to me how Exusiai specifically was treated differently from other Sankta in Laterano during her childhood and teenage years, despite the fact that she's supposedly a bog standard Sankta. From her being constantly mistreated and ditched not just by Mostima but by her sister also (see her Oprec 1),

To the fact she was constantly blamed for things that were legitimate accidents, the kind of stuff that happens on purpose in Laterano every single day, to the point where her word was doubted and she was accused of being a Sarkaz, it paints an extremely lonely and alienating picture of her.

It's especially odd that her own family and supposed childhood friend would do shit like that to her, given the fact that at the time, they should've known that it was upsetting for her to go through that, seeing as the Empathy would've made it hard for her to hide that. (oprec 1) And it'd be extremely out of character for Lemuen to do things like that, considering her intense love for her sister...

Combined with being grilled for lying by her superiors, which again, would be difficult for a Sankta connected to the Empathy... You see what I'm getting at?

She isn't connected to other Sankta. Never has been. From the start, her files and dialogue mention her being an exception amongst Sankta, unique, different. Guide Ahead showed us they're all similar to her in personality, however, so what exactly sets her apart? It's that.

Exusiai has multiple lines, in CoB, IL Siracusano, and her dialogues that show how deeply lonely she actually is, and how ACTUALLY empathetic she is; real empathy, not Sankta Empathy.

She threw herself into the Rat King's sandstorm for Mostima and Bison, she always remembered to keep an eye on him and keep him up to date, taking time to ease his worries and doubts. She always looks out for everyone else in PL, canonically being broke from doing so all the time. She risked her life to save a woman that was being harassed in IL Siracusano, despite not knowing her at all.

This isn't normal Sankta behavior. Sankta, even the ones at RI, are generally somewhat cold or indifferent to non Sankta. Arene, Ambriel, Executor... The only exception is Enforcer, who we know isn't connected as well.

Exusiai grew up socially and emotionally isolated, enough that no one ever gave her closure for the Andoain incident, despite the fact she has literal PTSD from it (oprec 1), no one ever got along with her really, to the point where her classmates celebrated her leaving to her face...

She hides it in front of others, but several lines show her actually being very tired, serious, and depressed, especially when they bring up a personality quirk of hers.

Promotion 2 - "Leader... No, savior, I pledge to this gun in my hand to protect you until the very end of this world." Talk after Trust Increase 2 - "If you ever run into an angel with black horns oozing ominous vibes, please tell her for me: I've never forgotten her." Idle - "...Lord, is this someone we gotta save too?"

All of which parallels stuff with Fiammetta:

From the offset, Fiammetta is by default isolated from her peers, being a Liberi in Laterano.

She grew up inherently different from a majority of people there, and as we see in Guide Ahead, though she tries to hide it, especially from other Liberi, she developed a complex over it.

It's especially evident when she snaps at Mostima, ranting about the Empathy between Sankta, complaining about how alienating it is to her, how it hurts her to not be understood. It's further elaborated on in her module's text, where we see her struggling to handle a gun that Sankta her age were already handling with ease, clearly frustrated enough by the fact that her mentor had to come and offer an alternative.

Beyond that, like Exusiai puts on a front but just wants people to tell her things for once, who's always been kept in the dark about not just events but also what other Sankta are feeling, Fiammetta is constantly isolated from her peers' feelings and motivations, ignored and brushed aside. It's constant in Guide Ahead, how her input and presence are secondary to whatever asinine conversation the Sankta are having, even in the middle of a crisis.

Her wants and needs are secondary, she's constantly forced to put up with titles she despises and finds humiliating, mockeries of her while she tries to do her job seriously...

Just like how Exusiai is consistently made fun of for any mistake she makes, even when others have a hand in that mistake. By PL itself no less. She laughs it off, but in exchanges with Bison, she clearly shows how bothered she is by being shrugged off or treated with a lack of care. She wants to be understood and taken seriously. But it never happens.

Fiammetta is exactly the same, constantly chasing a desire to be taken seriously as a member of the Notarial Hall, to have her feelings heard. But it never happens.

As a Liberi, she's inherently not a part of the connection all other Sankta have (with exceptions). They can't understand her. Nor do they bother to. It infuriates her, but what else can she do? What else is there to do? From birth, she was different from them, not the same as them, her weapons are a constant reminder... As is Exusiai's lack of connection to others an unconscious reminder to her.

And it all culminates in the Lock and Key incident. Both of them have been deeply traumatized by it, and whilst Fiammetta is at least more in the know than Exusiai, neither are ever offered the closure they need, the closure that would help them move on. Despite both being close to the people involved, they're kept in the dark.

Instead, they're made to stew in their feelings, made to feel left out on purpose one way or another, never allowed the proper right to live past that event. Both are obsessed with that day. Both desperately want to know what happened, what set it all off, WHY it happened.

But they never find out. They're forced to keep living in the dark while their friends and family are whiling, creating purpose beyond that day.

They're both women who were hurt by an incident that they were never allowed closure on, despite involving people they loved. They're both women who have been isolated and alienated from everyone else, becoming extremely lonely and distant all the while. Exusiai doesn't let anyone in, doesn't open up. Texas says as much.

Exusiai is my polar opposite. She seems to get along fine with anyone, but lets very few people close to her. —Texas

Fiammetta won't let anyone else in. Bottles her feelings until they explode. Because no one will hear anyway. No one will care. So why should she?

They're hurt. They're scarred and tired of being the only ones left out of the loop. Of the inside joke. Of the joy and folly every other Sankta is privy to.

They both value choices, independence, yet are bound to their past traumas. That they'll face one day. They both try to move on, but they can't. Exusiai still chases Mostima whenever she appears for answers she won't give, Fiammetta still chases Andoain for a revenge that won't quell her.

They're both obsessed with getting closure that the world's denied them.

And with Exusiai's surprisingly deeply kind nature, genuinely empathetic and sympathetic to others, to hear them out, and Fiammetta's insistence on confronting things head on, on not moving past them, and her deep down caring interior... They could heal a lot with each other. Love without compromise.

Beyond these thematic and story parallels, the two have a lot of miscellaneous ones too.

Their talents complement each other, Exusiai covers Fiammetta's health drain, allowing her to fight with more strength for longer.

Their physical scores are complementary, Exusiai covering Fiammetta's weakness in tactical acumen, and Fiammetta covering her lack of physical endurance respectively

Their descriptions are both about their dedication and willpower to see things through to the end.

Obsessions with protecting people (Exusiai's codename actually comes from Powers, the Angel class said to protect people and prevent evils from happening)

Hell, Exusiai's third skin replaces her blessing effects with a blue glow, complementary to Fia's red, and blue feathers. Sankta don't have feathers, so...

Their record medal descriptions match.

And finally...

Fiammetta is usually tolerant of Mostima's personality, even going along with it at times. But the moment Exusiai is involved, she becomes extremely impatient, and protective. Much more so than she logically should be at times.

With the context that she's been watching Mostima and essentially bugged her to hear in on her, she had to witness her leading Exusiai on all night, giving her false hope for an answer that wouldn't come.

Only for her to caress her sleeping and drunk form, as if they were still that close. With the knowledge they both parallel each other a ton, she might see herself in her...

Fiammetta's face shows way more contempt than expected, and her dialogue following this shows way less tolerance for Mostima, in spite of the fact that Exusiai is sound asleep and wouldn't hear them.

In Mostima's own record, Fia suddenly cares about Exusiai's feelings, about it being fair or not to her...

And firmly says she won't let Exusiai ever get wrapped up in the Lock and Key business, her face becoming more serious. Again, extremely protective of someone that at best, she knew as an acquaintance when they were both younger.

Fiammetta cares about Exusiai to an unnatural degree, hinting at either shared history that's not brought up, or that she relates to her, and she can't ignore that.

And if Exusiai talked to Fiammetta now, she'd likely find that same relatability, that same pain they've both been enduring, that they cope with in different ways.

Exusiai drowns herself in a carefree 'mask', drinks until she's blackout drunk often, is enough of a workaholic to fall asleep at PL's couch and compulsively spends money on others.

Fiammetta destroys herself with work, with fighting, burning herself out as she fires off attacks, obsessing and following Mostima around for the slimmest chance that Andoain might show up again...

They both need healing. Healing only the other could provide.

Fiammetta's friends/partners/exes are condescending towards her, don't try to truly get why this plagues her, even after Guide Ahead. PL can't help Exusiai, not only do they have their own problems, they can't relate at all; Texas has a mountain of baggage to work through herself.

They'd find solace, comfort in one another... Both things they desperately need.

[haylorheart]

Peter

Haylor FANFICTION based off the song Peter by Taylor Swift. <3

First fanfic in a long time, and first one about a celebrity and not a show, so please be gentle with me. It’s a one shot probably and nothing will come of it besides this. 🫣🫠 also my character development is in the works. Harry needs some… help 😅

Forgive me Peter, my lost fearless Leader, in closets like cedar preserved from when we were just kids Is it something I did? The goddess of timing once found us beguiling. She said she was trying; Peter was she lying? My ribs get the feeling she did.

Timing was everything in LA, and the Grammy Awards were no joke. Harry was sweating as he turned away from the crowd. His anxiety was sky high, and he knew that he could not handle the red carpet much longer. He threw one more smile towards the crowd as he departed, heading inside. He knew the cameras would follow, but as soon as he hit the doors, he ducked inside the closest bathroom in hopes that he might get some reprieve. He sighed when he found no one else inside. He leaned against the wall, pushing his sleeves up a little. The sheen of sweat on his upper lip bothered him, his head was aching, and although he was up for a grammy, he wasn't sure he even wanted to be there anymore. He loved his job. He loved this life. But sometimes he just got tired. After a few moments' peace, he used the restroom, washed his hands, and walked out the door.

Right outside the door, he hit something soft. Or rather, someone soft. He let out a small “oof” before steadying himself quickly and then the person in front of him. His green eyes met the most beautiful blue eyes he'd ever seen – ones he'd seen in his dreams for the last12 years. He bit his lip.

“I'm so sorry Taylor. Are you okay?” He asked, his breath caught a little in his throat. He willed his hands to not shake as he held on to her, she still seemed a little unsteady.

���I'm okay, I think. You didn't run into me so much as scare me.” She nervously giggled. She looked around the mostly empty hallway, then stepped back. “I hope to catch up in a bit, but I better go find my date.” She said with a wistful look on her face. She turned and walked away, and Harry could do nothing more than watch her leave. A million thoughts ran through his mind, things he should have said, things he wished he would have done in that moment before she walked away – again. He didn't even want to picture her date. Or think of his own, for that matter. He muttered to himself as he went to go find his date in the crowd.

And I didn't wanna come down; I thought it was just goodbye for now. You said you were gonna grow up then you were gonna come find me ... words from the mouths of babes - promises oceans deep, but never to keep.

Taylor kept her head held high as she walked away from Harry, but she was so glad he couldn't see her face. She remembered after only a moment that the rest of the world was about to see her face too, on camera. She took a shaky breath and composed herself before stepping into the main hall. The place was abuzz with activity, and she knew that the clever hosts had placed her and Harry not too far apart. She had come with hopes of having a good time, so why was she already so rattled? She liked being in his presence. He always calmed her down... Well, not always, if she admitted the truth to herself. But generally. She had taken to being a big supporter of his, and he supported her. She wasn't about to change that just because she was in a relationship. She found her boyfriend at the front of the room, talking with another celebrity. She smiled and tried her best to act interested, but her eyes were looking around for a certain man. She focused on her boyfriend in front of her, and he smiled and put his arm around her. She snuggled up to him, wanting to seem as calm and collected with him as she usually did.

From across the room, she accidentally met Harry's eyes. He was looking right at her. She smiled a weak smile, and he returned the same, and she felt her heart pick up speed. She couldn't be the first to break eye contact, no matter how much she tried. She couldn't force herself. Harry noticed Taylor's boyfriend was trying to say something to her and forced himself to look away, and she finally looked up and spoke

“Sorry, what were you saying? I was zoning out”. She giggled a little and her boyfriend gave her an indulgent smile.

“I was just saying...” And almost immediately Taylor zoned out again, but she avoided looking at Harry. She knew that if she looked at him again, she was going to definitely alert her boyfriend to something.

Are you still a mind reader? A natural scene stealer? I've heard great things Peter, But life was always easier on you Than it was on me. And sometimes it gets me, when crossing your jet stream, we both did the best we could do underneath the same moon in different galaxies. And I didn't wanna hang around We said it was just goodbye for now

Harry did his best at avoiding looking at Taylor, but when it came time for her to accept her award, he gave her his full attention. It was perfect timing; everyone was already paying her attention. He was so proud of all of her accomplishments. She was the shining star she always had been. She was the brightest, most amazing comet. There were so many things that Harry could say about Taylor's writing ability, her music, her singing, her talent in general. She “was” the music industry, as they say. She went on stage, and the moment she got up there, she thanked her boyfriend and Harry's heart plummeted. It was fine. He knew she had a boyfriend. He wasn't insane. His date wrapped her arm around his waist. He smiled at her gently, but his eyes never fully left Taylor's face. He couldn't even properly accept that his date was actually his girlfriend at that very moment. Taylor was his focus. His all. His everything. As she had been, for far too long. Taylor's eyes went from her own boyfriend's right to Harry's, and it all shifted. If she hadn't been so aware of the cameras, Harry had the odd feeling she'd have left her eyes right on his.

The acceptance speech was nothing short of amazing, but her speeches always were. He clapped along with everyone else, but his heart was racing. As she was getting ready to leave the microphone, she said “We said it was just goodbye for now.” And walked off. She didn't even look in his direction, and everyone dismissed it because it was lyrics for one of her songs. But Harry's heart began pounding harder and he couldn't hear anything else. His girlfriend was saying something to him, but he couldn't hear her. He sank to his chair, his anxiety washing over him.

And I won't confess that I waited, but let the lamp burn as the men masqueraded, I hoped you'd return with your feet on the ground, tell me all that you'd learned cause love's never lost when perspective is earned and you said you'd come and get me, but you were twenty-five and the shelf-life of those fantasies has expired. Lost to the “lost boys” chapter of your life. Forgive me Peter, please know that I tried to hold on to the days when you were mine but the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light.

Taylor walked right to her boyfriend, who was looking at her, a confused expression on his face.

“Was the last line in the speech we practiced, babe?” He asked quietly. Taylor shook her head. “No, sometimes I just feel inspired. I'm not really sure what came of it, but it made me feel better to say it.” She smiled at him, and he gave her a puzzled smile back. He shrugged and spoke

“I'm going to go get a drink, do you want something?” She thought about it for a moment and spoke “Maybe some white wine?” Her boyfriend nodded and kissed her cheek and walked away. There was an interlude at that moment and Taylor carried herself over to Harry, who was alone now. She saw he was sitting in a chair, and not standing, and that his date had gone. She knew that his “date” was his girlfriend, but she couldn't put that label to it, for her own heart couldn't handle it. She smiled at the beautiful man in front of her.

“Are you okay, Harry?” She asked, leaning in to hear him reply. “I'm feeling a bit anxious, honestly.” He said, meeting her eyes. Those eyes had always had some kind of spell on Taylor, and she couldn't help but get a bit lost in them. Her twin flame, sitting in front of her, just out of her reach. She knew she should walk away. She knew that Harry knew that last line had been for him. They were never going to be truly over; they were always going to walk that line. She smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder. “It'll all be okay.” She said, and he gave her a smile that she had once coined as his “cheshire grin”. Her heart shuddered. She swallowed hard and spoke

“I better go. It's really good to see you, Harry.” She turned to leave and heard him say quietly

“And I get the feeling that you'll never need me again.” She would have turned around, had her boyfriend not been walking toward her. The next presenter came on the stage, and she walked away, glancing momentarily back at Harry, her eyes willing him to see that she'd always need him.

•fin•

I feel a *little* weird about two celebs so I may focus in the future about Harry x Y/N or Taylor x Y/N type things. We will see.

[oh-no-its-dragons]

ao3 is down so I'm posting omegaverse here

Violet stumbled down from the parapet, the anger she'd felt at Jack dissipating almost immediately. Being an alpha was going to get her killed at this rate, and not just because she'd been sent to the Rider's Quadrant. She'd had six months to get this anger under control and she was still threatening to stab people in the balls.

Not that Jack fucking Barlowe hadn't deserved it.

"Come here," someone said, putting a hand on Violet's shoulder, and at least she didn't growl at Rhiannon when she spun on the woman.

"You okay?" Rhiannon asked.

"No. Yes." Violet corrected herself.

Before she could say anything else, she was being escorted off to the side of the courtyard and she realized she recognized the scent. Dain was there. Gods, she'd been looking forward to seeing him again but this was not what she'd pictured. She watched him and Rhiannon snap at each other before Dain pulled rank to get her to submit.

Squad leader, huh? she said to herself. Good for him.

She let Dain get her up to his room and wrap her knee, and the support- both literal and figurative- helped her get her balance back.

"What the hell are you doing here, anyway?"

Oh, right. She'd had this conversation five hundred times right after she presented, but she hadn't had to do it in months. First year cadets weren't allowed letters or contact, though, so there'd been no way for her to warn Dain about any of it.

"I presented, just before the Solstice. I'm an alpha, so the scribe quadrant was out of the question, and my mom insisted."

"Nobody presents that late, Vi, are you sure?"

She blinked slowly, trying to tamp down the anger that was trying to fight to the surface again. "Am I sure? Don't be ridiculous, how could I not be? You were sure, weren't you?"

Dain hesitated before he answered, but Violet was too pissed to think much of it. It didn't matter that he didn't answer the question. He was already walking her back to the courtyard and then he disappeared into the chaos of Conscription Day.

The hardest part was not finding Rhiannon again, nor was it watching other cadets run and get set ablaze for their trouble. It was the fact that she could. not. stop. looking at Xaden Riorson. Every time she met his eyes- because of course he was looking at her too- she felt the feral claws in the back of her head. Something in her wanted to maul the fuck out of that man.

Rhiannon elbowed her in the side gently. "Violet? You're growling," she whispered.

Why had anyone ever thought throwing several hundred alphas together in an enclosed space was a good idea? Well, it was only really an enclosed space for the first few months, because once you bonded you got to fly. Violet wasn't thinking that far ahead, though. She couldn't. She had to get through three months of proving herself, one day after another, before it was a concern.

"We can sneak you into the Scribe Quadrant," Dain offered for the first time after Imogen nearly tore her arm off at assessments.

"No, there's no way they'd take me. And I can't do it, I can't go in there now." She remembered patience, distantly, missed

"I'll protect you." Again.

"I'll sneak you out." And again.

"Let me protect you." And again.

It was a refrain that was driving Violet out of her goddamn mind, and by September it was painfully clear to her that Dain did not believe she was an alpha. Did he think she was lying? Did he think her mother had somehow brainwashed her into believing she had presented?

Did he think she was this fucking angry all the time because it was fun? If anything, her temper was shorter than his, he ought to know how much effort it took to maintain that much composure.

She hated to think about it, but it seemed like a lot of the alphas in the Riders Quadrant were either much better at controlling their anger or just didn't get the alpha stereotypes in their genetic lottery. It seemed cosmically unfair that she was the least-likely alpha she'd ever met and also one with the hardest time controlling herself.

When she'd mentioned it to her squadmates, Rhiannon had a theory.

"Maybe it's because you were late presenting. I'd been dealing with it for four or five years before I got here, and you still haven't had a full year."

That made sense. Violet was pretty sure she'd heard something similar from a healer not long after her mother found out about her presentation. 

"No, it's… well, maybe it's that too," Sawyer hedged when Violet and Rhiannon both glared at him, "but there's something else. I didn't figure it out until after I washed out last year. But not everybody here is an alpha."

"That's not possible," Violet stared at him, "is it?"

"Nobody admits it, not really, but once you look for it you can't unsee it."

"Now that you said it, I can see it," Ridoc grinned. "Picture Riorson and put Aetos next to him. One of those men looks like an alpha, and it's not our squad leader."

Rhiannon rolled her eyes. "Come off it, if it was that easy to tell, you wouldn't be here. You sure as shit don't look like an alpha."

"It's not supposed to be obvious since we're all on suppressants anyway." Violet frowned when she thought about it. The idea of other people just… ignoring their biology when she was stuck here because of it made her twitch. 

Sawyer was right, though. Now that someone had said it, she couldn't stop thinking about it when she looked at the people outside her squad.

[erebusvincent]

The Boys Season Four: Who is Homelander's Egg Donor?

I was really expecting season four of The Boys to address who Homelander’s egg donor was. He’s been so obsessed with family that it made sense to me that he would want to know after finding out who his sperm donor was. And in episode seven of season three, he has a conversation about stealing his teammate's eggs, so would that not seem like teasing his interest in his egg donor? But it didn’t get mentioned at all, and that's one more instance of the season being overwhelmingly unsatisfying.

Or, does the egg donor not being referenced at all suggest her identity? Homelander must know who she was, because presumably that information would have been in the same files he found that confirmed Soldier Boy was his sperm donor. Perhaps he isn’t interested in finding her because he knows she’s dead, she killed herself earlier that year.

It makes sense that Vought would use an egg from a superpowered woman and not someone without powers. And it’s not out of character for Homelander to be such a degenerate scumbag that he wouldn’t be bothered by having a sexual relationship with her.

However, was the audience supposed to figure out the egg donor due to her not being mentioned, or was she not mentioned because the season was terrible?

The only other theory I’ve seen is that the runaway was the mother. However, that's not what Barbara actually said, and Vogelbaum wouldn’t use a normal egg. Homelander would have been able to tell if Barbara was lying, even with his powers decreasing, and he would have known from the file if she was being truthful anyway. The only way it would make sense that the woman he killed was his biological mother is if she did have superpowers, Vought harvested her eggs, fiddled with the embryo, and then implanted the embryo into the woman. It's sensible that they would use a host with superpowers on the chance that the pregnancy and birth would be more successful, but this theory takes way too much conjecture. There's no evidence for it at all.

Homelander is a virulent misogynist obsessed with fathers and sons. He asked Vogelbaum if the rape baby was a boy in the first season. But no interest in a mother at all? Even though he hates women, he's still obsessed with family. And all his perverted fetishes involve motherhood, so there's overwhelming evidence that he is in fact obsessed with the idea of mothers as well. In fact, this also seems like over-conjecture. While the character is a rapist and general piece of shit, and would no doubt be less interested in a mother and daughter, to conclude that he has no interest at all in his egg donor asks for a lot of analysis on the audience's part.

I will never watch this show again, so I won't be investigating this. But, I am interested in whether anyone else came to a different conclusion about the lack of a plot point regarding Homeland's egg donor. Was there any evidence he was looking into someone, maybe a shot of files with a name or picture?

I'm not convinced the audience was being asked to think this hard about the egg donor, or that it's meant to be obvious who she is. This was just a shit season with bad writing, no explanations for plot points, and storylines that went nowhere. Even though every viewer must have come into the season thinking the same thing, that Homelander would be obsessed with his egg donor after learning about his sperm donor, the writers decided not to address the issue at all.

Absolute abomination of a season: 2/10

I liked V52, the flying animals, and Erin Moriarty's excellent performance. Everything about Homelander was a dumpster fire.

[thath0rnywriter]

hi can you do gwen x gn reader? they are just friends and that gwen has been mentioning about miles alot which made reader jealous and abit insecure except gwen also has a crush on reader too. it can be angst at first but in the end is just fluff? (you can remove anything from my request)

I sure can!! (for some reason I've got a angst goblin in my head so it's gonna be slightly uncontent reader!)

-----------------------------------------------

Is it cool when I don't care..?

--------------------------------

Pairing: Gwen Stacy (Spider gwen) x GN! Reader

Fandom: Across the Spiderverse

CW: Jealousy, use of Y/N, Uncontent reader, Nickname Gweny

I suggest listening to the song while reading !

Description: (Set a bit before atsv) Your best friend Gwen Stacy and you are hanging out, She starts to talk about this guy she's friends with, and you can't help but get a bit jealous?..

-----------------------------------------------

You and Gwen sat together in her room, you slumped on her bed next to her. The two of you had spent almost the entire day together.

"Oh Y/N I gotta tell you about my best friend Miles!.." Gwen said as she smiled at you. She sat up, sliding off her bed and went over opening the back of her drum set, you smiled slightly at the sight of her spider suit; You were the first person to find out that she was Spider-woman. It surprised you a bit and caused you to feel a bit anxious when she would text you that she was going patrolling. You knew Gwen could handle herself and protect herself against anything, but you still worried about her.

She picked up the polaroid picture of her and Miles. She smiled slightly at it before handing it to you. "That's Miles, He's so great.., I miss him.." She spoke softly, pursing her lips into a thin line.

You held the picture in your hand. Your fingers gently traced the outline of the picture. You look down at the picture of the two and frowned a bit. You noticed the way she smiled in the picture, the smile she never gave you.

"That's really nice Gweny." You replied, your gaze flicked away from the picture; you wanted to look at anything aside from the picture.

You felt a pit in your stomach form, there was no way you were jealous of Gwen talking about someone else.. right? You tried to ignore the feelings of insecurity and jealousy wash over you. You placed the photo next to you on her bed.

Gwen noticed the slight tone shift in your voice, "Are you okay?, Sorry if I was being-" She spoke but you stopped her. "No it's okay, Don't apologize, I'm not upset." You lied through gritted teeth, you simply wanted Gwen to be happy. And you would do anything for that, even if that unfortunately meant lying.

-----------------------------------------------

©️ thath0rnywriter, do not copy my work or alter in anyway without my permission .

[sunshinebingo]

@gwynweekofficial Day 7 - Free Day

Thank you @gwynweekofficial for organising this week. All the content has been amazing ❤️❤️❤️

As for this fic, I don't know if it's any good but @lulling-night-sky wanted smut, so I wrote smut 🤷 I tried. Plus Gwyn deserves to have some good time.

Synopsis: Gwyneth pleasures herself while wishing it was Azriel.

Word Count: 1.2k

Warning: NSFW!!!

Read on Ao3

He thrusted inside her and she gasped. Having him fully inside her was already starting to push her over the edge. When she opened her eyes again, he was looking down at her, his hazel green eyes full of unrestrained desire. The candles around the room turned his tanned creamy skin golden. He lifted a scarred hand to push aside a lock of copper black hair from her face. “You are exquisite,” he said with a raspy voice.

Then he slid his cock out slowly. “Azriel Eric”, she moaned when he pushed inside her again. Her hand moved to tangle in his dark blond hair and he groaned. The sound ignited something in her. Her other hand brushed his wing jaw and she kissed him. He took her hand and pinned it on top of her head before he started to fuck her – hard.

His tongue chased hers while his cock slid in and out of her wet core. She moaned his name over and over and over again. Azriel Eric Azriel Eric Azriel Eric. He responded to her pleas with his own. Gwyn Ana Gwyn Ana Gwyn Ana… Her breathing turned more ragged the closer he brought her to her orgasm. He fucked her hard and fast. The pressure building inside her was too much yet not enough. “Azriel Eric,” she almost screamed. And when he sucked hard on her breast, her back arched, her eyes closed and –

The book falls on Gwyn’s face and hit her nose so hard that all the heat that has build up inside her from the story vanishes instantly. Sighing, Gwyn sits up and looks around the room in disappointment. This is reality. She is not Ana of the Eastern Isle. And there is no General Eric fucking her senseless.

Gwyn isn’t interested in Eric anyway. There are some little things about him that bother her. One of them being that his eyes are green and not hazel. His skin tone also could be better. He would have been hotter is he had golden-brown skin instead. And short dark hair that would fall in front of his eyes sometimes. And scarred hands that would send shivers down his lover’s spine. And tattoos on his muscular chest and arms. And wings. Massive dark wings that would make him look like an angel of death.

OK fine. Eric would have been better if he was Azriel. What male wouldn’t want to be Azriel. For some time now, Gwyn has not been able to read a book without replacing the main male character with Azriel. And the main female character with herself. Gods forbid she pictures him having sex with someone else. Azriel is hers. In her dreams and fantasies at least.

If only it was real. If only he wanted her just as much as she wanted him. If only he was in her room right in this moment.

Tell me what you want , he would whisper in her ear. You, she would reply breathlessly. Gwyneth. Imagining her name coming from his lips makes her feel hot again. So much that she gets rid of her blanket, throwing it aside along with the book.

What do you want me to do to you? His voice fills her mind again. And Gwyn responds. Touch me. She caresses her neck with a hand, imagining that it is Azriel’s hand instead. When she grazes her collarbone and shoulder, Gwyn pushes aside the thin straps of her nightgown. She pulls them down enough to expose her breasts to the cool air of the room.

In her mind, she imagines Azriel lying on top of her, trailing kisses down her neck until he reaches her breasts. She cups one of her breasts, grabbing it as firmly as she would like Azriel to do it. She brings her other hand to her mouth and sucks on two fingers to wet them. Then she brings that hand to her other breast. Gwyn circles her nipple with her wet fingers, wishing that it was his tongue doing this. She thinks about Azriel sucking on her nipple as she pinches herself hard enough that she gasps.

If Azriel was here, he would rub himself against her and would find out how wet she is getting for him. She would feel how hard he is. She would reach down to grab his cock and he would groan in pleasure. Please.

Azriel would listen to her plea and align himself with her. Gwyn reaches a hand down between her legs and she imagines that it is Azriel’s cock there. She knows that nothing will compare to the feel of his cock against her wet centre. But she is desperate for anything.

Do you want me to fuck you Gwyneth? He asks her in her mind. Yes. Please.

Gwyn starts rubbing her clit, wishing that it was Azriel’s cock playing with her. With her other hand, she keeps groping her breasts and playing with her nipples like how she thinks he would do. Azriel, she breathes out into the empty room. But in her mind, he is there. His hands are pulling her legs apart and he is pushing his cock at her entrance.

Gwyn inserts a finger inside her pussy. Azriel would curse as he would push himself inside her. You feel so good, he would tell her. Just like now, she wouldn’t have the words to respond. She would just moan as he would slide deeper inside her. Gwyn inserts another finger inside and starts to fuck herself.

She imagines Azriel’s cock going in and out of her wet pussy while his hands would grab tight onto her waist and thigh. With his mouth he would kiss and bite her neck and he would suck on her hard nipples. She pushes her fingers as deep as she can and starts to rub her clit with her other hand. But it isn’t her hands that she pictures on her. All she can think about is his weight on her and his cock inside her. Azriel, she moans loudly. Gwyneth, he whispers in her mind. She spreads her legs wider as she imagines him pressing his whole body harder against her. Are you close, love?

Gwyn bites her lip and nod. Then come for me Gwyn. Those words are the fruit of her own imagination, but they are enough to make her shatter. She thinks about Azriel fucking her even harder and faster when he would feel her walls clenching around his cock. And when she imagines him coming inside her, her mouth opens on a silent gasp and Gwyn comes around her own fingers. Images of him flash behind her closed eyelids. His face, his hands, his wings spread out behind his perfectly sculpted body. The sound of his voice whispering her name and sweet nothings that she wishes she would someday hear from him echo in her head.

When she comes down from her peak after what feels like long minutes, Gwyn breathes like she has been suffocating. She refuses to open her eyes because she knows that no hazel eyes would be looking down at her lovingly. So she just lays there, with only her fantasies to hold her tight through the night.

[space929]

TW: emotionally immature parenting

SPOILERS!

My friend has been telling me to make something on this for a while and I finally found the words to.

Gwen Stacy is my favorite character in Spiderverse for a variety of reasons. Weird start for this but important as this is going to talk about a few things. First is characterization. Then her relationship with her father and Miles. And I'm going to point to things I relate to and why because... I don't know, that's just what I feel like writing.

Let's start with her characterization in the first movie because I find it hilarious and I want to establish it before moving on. Gwen Stacy got shot into a random universe. She has no idea what is going on. She doesn't know how she'll get home. She knows nothing.

So she gets into an extremely prestigious school because her spidey sense went off and she had to take the most difficult route possible to listen to it. I don't know about y'all, but my public school requires proof of where I live, where I've gone to school, my parent's existence, the usual. My charter school years ago took over a month to get into and their wait list was minimal.

So keep in mind, I'm pretty sure she was there for a week prior to when we met her. She got into this school because of her spidey sense. I don't know what name she was using for this because she tried to say Gwen to Miles and autocorrected to Gwanda/Wanda in a way that makes me think she just... didn't think to give the name she was using for the school? So like... does Miles just know her with a different name than everyone else?

This is especially appalling because there is genuinely no way that she is a bad liar. We see her characterized as such, but she also hid that she was Spider-Woman from a man who talked about her at least one a week for over a year while in a presumably very emotional state, got into the school - as established -, and then faked her way into an internship at Alchemax that she either somehow accomplished in a week, or somehow no one caught on to the fact that no one had seen her before, she doesn't have the credentials to be there, and she's just... wandering around. And seeing as no one noticed, they either didn't ask and she was perfectly natural in the role, or she lied. Wonderfully. To a bunch of paranoid scientists.

Let's also mention that she apparently never glitched in front of anyone. She was just chilling. Or very good at writing off very strange occurrences.

Obviously, we can consider all of this as plot holes or inconsistencies or whatever, but I raise you the possibility that Gwen really likes making things far more difficult than they have to be and also being really good at lying and just occasionally deciding to mix it up and just... not. Why lie convincing when you can be strange and watch the suspicion cross people's faces as you make sure they will never doubt your more sophisticated lies in the future?

I think we should all consider that Gwen might just love messing with people, including herself. She might just do difficult things to laugh as she pictures future her trying to get out of the situation she caused in the first place.

I have to say. I respect it.

Maybe I have a basic sense of humor, but I find this absolutely hilarious. Nothing in the series tops it.

Anyhow. Relationships. Enjoy this non-sequitur.

I'm someone who grew up in a household with parents who were both absent and overbearing. Parents who were, in simple terms, emotionally immature. A family who was, and is, dysfunctional.

Within the first interaction Gwen had with her father, I could see the same dynamics I have with my parents. The simple, numb answers to things that are obviously incredibly meaningful. Something that she's always wanted. His quest for justice that actively hunts her.

She's scared to open up, yet she still tries, only to get shot down (at the beginning of the movie).

Superheroes typically either have a tragic backstory or a happy childhood, something that I'm not trying to discount - I do it as well. It isn't a bad thing. But there's a certain realism to hers that makes me cry every time.

Talking to my mother will always end in her disagreeing. It doesn't matter how much proof I give her or if the topic is objective or subjective - she has argued with me about whether transphobia is justified, whether I have religious trauma, and what emotions I am currently feeling.

Within the first ten minutes, they almost get into an argument that is only avoided because George shuts her down - something that he so clearly does every time she shares an opinion. The absolute defeat in her "yeah, I can tell" physically pains me. I am definitely projecting a little, but my mom either immediately argues back or says that if I share any of my emotions.

I can feel the tension rise the moment he mentions the subject. This is something that they argue about often enough that her immediate response is to guard herself. To offer opinions disguised as possibilities because it's less personal. To talk firm but not too emotional because if you show too much, you will break, and you can't do that around someone you can't even trust with why you left a band.

Her speech with her father is 100x better than it is in the comics, by the way.

I don't have a lot to say about that scene besides - can my mom be this open to accepting criticism? Like the character development on her father's part? I may still not love him, but I respect that. That was... bro had to have done so much introspection. Repairing the relationship is going to take so much time, but him listening? Not only acknowledging how she was feeling but respecting and validating and helping, even if just in a small way, is a very important start.

So props there. Lets see if the next section can end as uplifting as this one.

Gwen and Miles.

I have to admit, I am definitely a Gwen defender. That doesn't mean I think she's perfect, I just think that she made the best decision with the information she had at the time.

I'm just gonna jump into this part because, while I have things to say on other parts, I think this is pretty important to understand their relationship in ATSV.

Gwen told her father about who she was. And he pointed a firearm at her. She had every reason to believe that she could never go home. Miguel had a metaphorical hold over her head. He held the ability to keep her in a presumed safety, or send her to a very real possibility of imprisonment or death.

There was never an option to question what he said. Questioning it would lead to one of two things. Either she believed him and continued what she was doing, or she didn't and every action turned into one of guilt. Into one of breaking her values and morals. It was a decision of less or more pain. And that wasn't something she was in any place to make.

In the end, the decision was the possibility of death and never seeing Miles again, or the possibility of life and maybe seeing Miles again.

Whether that's the morally right or wrong decision is irrelevant, in my opinion. Now that doesn't mean Miles can't be mad, that anger is perfectly valid, it just means that this was never about him. Lying to him wasn't about him. Not visiting him wasn't about him. He was a causality, but he wasn't a cause.

Not for Gwen, at least. For Miguel, that's a different story. But this isn't about him.

I suppose this is a good point to give an idea. Whether you're a writer or not, it's something that I was thinking of. I enjoy writing complicated situations. One person's emotions don't cancel out another's.

I raise you Miles being mad at Gwen. Feeling betrayed. Meaningless. Trying to figure out how to cope with the new reality.

And at the same time, I raise you Gwen struggling with the aftermath of everything. With the trauma of her father. The rebuilding of friendships. The guilt of going along with a lie.

Resentment gets tiring. And being resented is painful. It's angering. Until both parties are just angry.

Anger causes guilt. Guilt causes embarrassment. Embarrassment turns to anger.

Do as you will with that. It's simply a thought.

Moving along, their romantic subplot.

I find it really cute. I'm not someone that likes romance, but I love the communication. It's one of those scenes that makes me think Gwen is incredibly emotionally mature. She admitted her feelings, even though that's terrifying for most people. She did that and then communicated that she wasn't ready for a relationship. She was simply saying how she felt. Allowing Miles to react as he would.

She talked about Gwen Stacy "falling for Spider-Man". I can only imagine how literally she meant this. How much trauma she admitted to without ever fully saying it. How long she must have kept that to herself, only to say it when she finally felt safe.

It's nice. It's a trust that we don't see her give to anyone else.

And Miles respected her emotions. It may be the minimum, but I'll give props anyway. It was very nice to see.

[purgemarchlockdown]

Kazui and Amane: The Pet and The Stray

(Also Known as: Some thoughts on the themes and imagery of Kazui and Amane and how they parallel, contrast, and interact with each other)

So I've been thinking a lot about how Kazui and Amane relate with each other. Their paired up together in Prisoner Interrogations and in Undercover so their a canonical pair of sorts. This post is just me writing down various things I've noticed about the two and how their stories and themes interact with each other.

(CWs for: Suicide, Cults, and Child Abuse)

Promises

So, as we know, Kazui crime is related to his unhappy marriage with Hinako. A person who he's been lying to for the entirety of his marriage about Something, these lies break the eternal vow of marriage. The promise that Man and Woman will be together forever no matter what.

T2 hints to the idea that the thing Kazui is lying about is himself. Whether that be his sexuality, true feelings about Hinako, his intents or so on. It's something related to Him.

I can’t stop, I can’t be normal This feeling, it can’t be gratified

Now, on the flipside, Amane Momose is someone who wants to be a Very Very Good Girl who tries Very Very Hard to uphold the doctrines and teachings of her cult and is Not Very Good At It. Magic alludes in multiple ways as Amane tries and fails to uphold the doctrines.

Amane is Not a Good Girl but promises that she will eventually be a Very Very Good Girl and that they Won't Have To Punish her anymore.

Dear wise one, Is this ok? Is it ok to be weak sometimes? I promise! A good girl that keeps a promise is like, mwah!

Kazui's vow of marriage and Amane's cult's doctrines have been Broken by the two of them, and in one way or another, it lead to their respective murder. Lying

So...Kazui is a big damn liar, he tells Es this, multiple times. He doesn't even try to hide that he's a Big Big Liar who Lies A Lot. Lying has a lot of baggage related to Kazui. He regrets lying but also regrets telling the truth. To Kazui, whatever the Truth Was is the thing that killed Hinako in the end.

Q18:

Do you regret your "murder"? I do regret it. I should have kept lying.

This trait is not unique to him though! As Amane is also a big damn Liar at times. Usually when things that are considered "sinful" for whatever reason come into the picture. Amane will start Lying, that she does Not Want It. That she is a Very Good Girl who is not Tempted At All By whatever sinful thing is in front of her.

This isn't the only thing she lies about, she lies about her feelings about her family. Her feelings about the cult, herself and how much of a good girl she is.

Amane Momose Lies A Lot to protect herself. Because something About Her puts her in Danger.

Which ties back into Kazui's apprehension at telling Hinako the truth about himself. Whatever that thing Is it's something that both characters are hesitant to be truthful about, whether because it puts them at risk.

Or because it puts someone else at risk.

Or, most likely both in the case of Kazui.

Not only that but, Kazui is Lying to someone and using their attraction to him, hoping that eventually if he lies enough he can live normally with them and be happy and loved. While Amane is being Lied To. Being told that if she's faithful and obedient enough she'll be a Good Girl and that she won't be punished anymore. Which isn't the case because she was never going to be good enough for them.

Kazui is lying to someone so he can be happy and loved and Normal, and Amane is being Lied To by someone, being told that if she's good enough she'll be happy and loved and Pure.

Love and Happiness

Third Favorite Similarity between the two for me! Kazui's story is centered around his unhappy marriage and how he harmed Hinako by lying to her.

And he did harm Hinako! That's undeniable. But his marriage with Hinako seems to be motivated by Societal Pressures, because he can't get what he Actual Wants.

His story is very much about the failures and pitfalls of Relationships (and arguably, the Ideal Heterosexual Cisgender Relationship)

Love (plus) Destiny = Crap, smash it, shatter it, bye-bye That sticky-sweet sequence: Dinner + Camouflage + You-Know-What Loving Affection (minus) Love, it’s tacky, this two-way deceit

Amane's story is also about love...in a sense. Amane's story involves a cult, one that uses her want for love and happiness to manipulate her. A world where love equals pain because their Just Trying to Purify Her Sinful Soul that Wants Impure Things.

But it’s not scary at all, because it’s love I can really think it’s great. See isn’t it a great thing?

They both Want love and happiness, but can't actually get them for multiple reasons. One of those being that what they want is considered...normal.

Normality and Vulgarity

Second Favorite Similarity! Was is normal? What is not? What is societally acceptable? What is righteous? Kazui and Amane frequently Want things that are outside of what is considered "normal."

For Amane she seems to frequently break the 2nd doctrine of her cult that states this.

’Tis ordained, thou shall discard vulgarity

It's the flag we see her mess up in Purge March and the rule that seems to be the one that encompasses all the frivolous and impure things Amane wants that she can't Have. Amane is a Sinful child, and is being purified through horrific punishment.

Stopping myself now because if I don't this will become Just about Amane and I do like Kazui A Lot (and also because I had a whole extra section here about Amane which...really proves that I will talk about Amane until my hands give out.) Cat states multiple times that Kazui cannot be normal.

Hinako was His Attempt at Being Normal and he Just Can't. He got too greedy, desired something he couldn't have. Like Amane, he wants something that somehow makes him Dirty. Unclean, Impure, Sinful, Abnormal. Whatever other word you want to use.

This is even reflected in both Cat and Purge March. Cat is Advertiser Friendly, with it's bold typography and clean artwork. It's an advertisement for the Ideal Relationship.

Man and Woman. Husband and Wife. The Thing Everyone Should Want. Buy Now For $9.99!

Purge March however is...Pure. It's white, so blindingly white, there is nothing dirty here, nothing impure. If there is it's cleaned out as quickly as it appeared.

It's Empty, there is Nothing Here.

Of course that image only lasts for so long, how are you supposed to uphold something you don't want?

Amane and Kazui both Want Somethin, and they Cannot Have It because what they want isn't Normal.

And They Aren't Normal For Wanting it.

Cats

You Cannot escape the Cat Symbolism because I Cannot escape the Cat Symbolism. I resisted making this the first point but this is important to them so we are Talking About It.

So, Kazui wants to be loved like Cat.

I wanted to be loved, just like a cat Maybe act capricious, on my word and at my fancy

There's a lot of interpretations for this, wanting to be pampered, wanting to be irresponsible, to come and go as he please.

While there is a lot of negative associations here, this isn't something that is immediately bad, if he wants a casual relationship then that's fine...if he tells the person that.

Clearly, he didn't. He's the one initiating the big milestones in their relationship, asking her out, giving her flowers, proposing to her. He's the one progressing their relationship so he can keep his status of being Normal.

Kazui wants to be a Pet, he Wants to be cared for, he wants to be happy and loved, wants to be given Security, and is given it through his marriage.

Amane, on the other hand, is repeatedly paralleled with the Cat she helps.

To the point her injuries appear On The Cat in Magic.

This is both a Very Literal Cat and a Representation of Amane.

The cat in Magic also lacks the collar in Purge March. That same collar hinting that the cat was abandoned by it's owner. Someone that Should have taken care of the cat but Didn't. Like how Amane should be taken care of by her parents but is abused and tortured.

Un-collared Animals are also...wild, dangerous, impure, sinful. Paralleling Amane and how she's considered sinful and impure by her cult.

Amane is a Stray, she Wants to be cared for, wants to be happy and loved, wants to be given Security, and is Denied it by her cult.

You can also swap these around, Amane is a pet being taken care of poorily and Kazui is a stray searching for love. It's a very flexible metaphor overall.

That's...mostly all, there's a lot more I can go into but I am Not as Familiar with Kazui as I am Amane (which you might of noticed) plus this would get really really long if I did go in more depth. I didn't even touch on maturity and age- their a really good pair! I hope you liked reading me talk about how they fit together!

[majaloveschris]

As an anon said in the past, if I were Chris, I would be really concerned about someone apparently from my inner social circle leaking info to blogs about my private matters such as wedding and house. If someone is actually leaking his info, he really should reevaluate his friends and the people he lets into his life (but well, he basically allowed a racist, antisemitic into his life so he clearly isn’t very smart when it comes to that). If the house is his I still don’t feel like he would live there and the decoration doesn’t seem to be his style (or even Alba’s style but she probably doesn’t care about anything as long as she keeps getting attention and we know she molds herself to what benefits her the most). If this house has the name of his trustee, does that automatically make it his? I don’t think Chris is the only client they have. Also, I read some people saying that the Carlisle house was bought by him in 2018 according to Tara’s page? She more than anyone should protect the privacy of her friend but she’s an attention seeker too so I don’t really have much faith in her.

I also don’t know why would Chris want to have pics of his house in a magazine like AD and then hold back because of “keeping his privacy”, he knows very well what would happen if he did that feature for AD so I don’t buy that shit either. L&D lying about the location seems weird to me too, because the damage has already been done since the beginning of this shitshow, why would they try to “protect” anything now? And if they lie that clearly shows how unprofessional they are and that they only care about the attention as well.

Sorry for the long rant but like everything else in this “happy and healthy relationship” seems the opposite and with a lack of sense

For now, this is the last ask I share about the Carlisle house. Some people in my inbox are going crazy over this topic. Not even their alleged wedding caused whatever this is.

We actually talked about this with a good friend of mine yesterday and how having those addresses on that site is really unsafe. I guess it works for her as a portfolio, but still. She could have all the other details but the address. I think she should've already removed it. However, I still have a hard time believing that anybody from his circle comes to Tumblr to share information about his personal matters, such as his wedding, for example. I always say this and will continue to repeat it, that even DM said that his circle is very tight and that she never really has anything on him or gets info. If somebody from his circle wanted to leak something, they wouldn't come to Tumblr. Neither would Justin. If they decided to betray him, they would want to do that on a bigger level. If somebody comes here and shares legit information about him or his personal life, I'd rather say that's his team, or if it's even somebody closer to him, they do it to plant something; they do it for PR reasons. A lot of rumors start here, but if somebody would leak something or do something to harm him, and not to help sell a narrative, they would go somewhere else, not here.

I also don't think that house is really his style, and I also doubt he would want to move into such a big house. The other MA one isn't one he is currently living in.

My very good friends explained to me that all the houses are owned by the same company but by different trusts.

If this whole thing was about "protecting privacy," having an AD article wouldn't have even crossed his mind. So they did the whole photoshoot, the whole interview, or whatever, and then he was like "Nah, I'd rather have my privacy with this one". I don't think that's how it works. And again, saying "privacy" and "Chris" in the same sentence is, at least for now, ridiculous. Since Alba is in the picture, somehow everything involving her has lost the privilege of being private.

Interestingly, this is the first time L&D cared about the mean comments and DMs they got because of Chrisba. This was definitely not the first time I saw them receive hateful comments because of them, and they clearly didn't seem to care about it, and now suddenly they even changed the location because of that. I don't really think that the privacy and hateful comments/DM explanations are working here right now.

And I'd like to ask everybody not to go to L&D's page and leave hateful comments or send hateful DMs. It's inappropriate; it's a bad thing to do. Leave them be.