#and also like. before she became more 'mainstream' i guess...

[slowdesire]

caught "i miss the old X" disease

[utilitycaster]

I agree what the cast says does not hold as much weight as what happens on stream. I think this is why I get frustrated by the 'Orym is to blame for Laudna killing Bor'dor' debates, using things Liam and/or Marisha have said on 4-sided dive that contradict the actual scene, where Marisha states Laudna barely notices Orym and Ashton, and *nothing* will stop her from doing what she wants to do. At worst, it's inaction. Have interviews and things like that always held so much weight in fandom?

I am absolutely the wrong person to ask here; I was not super in fandom when I was younger. I am going to, as I am wont to do, make some educated guesses but please take with a grain of salt.

I think there's a few things going on. A lot of people have told me that Glee was the first fandom they personally recall where it became about winning more than like, having fun and sharing ideas, and I wouldn't be surprised if that is at least an influence. (The idea that two ships that do not conflict and indeed have incompatible sexualities are in some kind of deathly serious competition is truly so baffling to me that I have to chalk up that particular bit of, if I may use a yiddishism here, mishegos, to Glee for sure.)

I also think that there was a time and there are shows where interviews did (or do) carry more weight, namely, those with executive meddling, or loss of creative control, or, notably, queer ships until quite recently. I have a lot of friends in the Star Trek fandom even though I'm not knowledgeable at all and from what I am given to understand, there's been a few ships squashed or delayed by executive whim or homophobia that the actors would pretty openly and consistently confirm at conventions. (The ones I know are Riker and Troi; and Garak and Bashir; but I have only hazy recollections of TNG and know NOTHING of DS9 so this is second-hand). I've talked about this before, but Word of God used to carry more weight for me when you simply couldn't have same gender romances on network TV or most mainstream film without risking your career. Now? You're a coward and a panderer.

Anyway I think with actual play specifically, which is improvised (ie, intent can shift dramatically and unexpectedly) and which has a lot of talkback shows and also a disproportionately huge amount of content people get in the habit of cherrypicking, and in extreme cases this turns into cherrypicking themselves straight out of the actual narrative and into microexpressions and OOC interviews and side conversations from three years ago.

I also, and I am too tired and too many drinks in (two drinks in, to be clear) to articulate this tonight, find that actual play in particular has amassed a certain fandom that I think was attracted to things I like and support (queer characters, women/queer people/POC creating and driving their own characters, independent creator-owned productions, improvised and therefore at times really unique stories, not needing to have streaming services in some cases) but also doesn't actually like Actual Play as a medium (see: every single D20 fandom meltdown low-key boils down to "I have zero genre awareness of both whatever is going on narratively and also I high-key loathe D&D as a means of storytelling and particularly the existence of violence in narrative, yet I am watching the Violent Narrative D&D show, so dance or me, my puppets, wait why aren't you dancing.") So I think you get a lot of people who are just making dumb fucking arguments because they decide what they believe and then poorly reverse engineer the support instead of doing things in the proper order and I think the people claiming Orym is responsible for Bor'Dor's death are in that category and we should stop treating them as people who are adding anything of worth to the conversation.

[vanalex]

I can't help it... I'm obsessed with him...

A little "history lesson" (for the ones interested) about how I became a fan of Type O Negative... and my feelings towards them...

When I heard 'my girlfriend's girlfriend ' for the first time in 1996 I was just a teen. Watching MTV in my bedroom. I was, at that time, very much into 60s music and aesthetic. A hippie après la lettre, sort of speak... I was also, for as long as I remember, obsessed with vampires and a huge fan of Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles.

So when this video came on I loved the colorful backdrop and sixties influences. And then there were 4 guys dressed in black, looking like vampires. Especially the singer. I lost it. This was my new favorite band. 🤗

When 'Love you to death' came out I ordered the T-shirt (a girl t-shirt, not the unisex shirts they sell now) via postorder catalogue Large. I loved that T-shirt and would still have it, if my mom didn't throw it out with all my other band shirts, because she thinks you need to keep the economy going by buying new stuff all the time and getting rid of "old" stuff. Insert *dramatic eyeroll*

Type O Negative were not a mainstream band and unfortunately, growing up in a small town, I was about the only one, as far as I know, that liked their music.

So, I completely missed out on their 1999 world coming down release. ☹️

In the early 2000s, a record store in the city where I went to college had a clearance sale. I found the least worst of CD and bought it. Around that same time I bought the After Dark DVD. It was only then that I found out about world coming down. I liked the "new" songs, but also had mixed feelings about them. They depicted an unhealthy lifestyle.

In 2003 'I don't wanna be me' was playing on MTV and I was excited to hear more new music from them and seeing them on MTV again. I remember also being shocked with Peter's appearance in that video. He did not look well... It would become clear he wasn't doing well at all: mental and physical health problems, addiction, jail time, forced rehab, relationship problems, etc...

Later that year Type O Negative came to a festival a few hours driving from where I lived... Unfortunately I had noone to go with and my boyfriend and I were volunteering for a local 'save the forest' non profit that same weekend. I thought I would see them next time, but the same circumstances made me not see them in 2007... 😥

And although Peter looked better (healthier) in the late 2000s, he aged a lot due to his addictions and lifestyle, he also looked kind of sad when he was performing on Wacken in 2007.

When he died in 2010 I initially had peace with it, thinking it was probably for the best.... knowing about his struggles and losses...

I did not know about the circumstances of his death until many years later and since then I've felt it could have been prevented. He did not OD, he did not commit suicide... he was clean for almost a year (!), he looked happy in his last interview 🥹... he died because he didn't receive the correct medical care on time... because he was taking care of his sick cat instead of himself, because the people nearby him didn't help (Did they not see/know how severely ill he was? I guess we'll never know)...

I've always felt like I missed out on something with not seeing Type O Negative live. From all the bands I've listened to as a teen until now, they're the only band that I love more with each time I listen to them. I don't have this kind of connection with other bands/artists... Seeing pictures, videos, ... of them makes me very nostalgic... it feels like they're still around. And then it hits me they're not 😥 I just miss this band a lot and wish we had more years with them, more music...

So... seeing old pictures of them, especially Peter in his more happier and healthier years (everything before world coming down era and even before 1997), makes me feel nostalgic ... "obsessed" ... and the pictures where he smiles are solid gold. 💚

I wonder... did he ever know how truly special he was ? Handsome, intelligent, goofy, creative, sensitive... I guess he didn't and let his value be determined by others. At least, that's how I interpret some of his lyrics... What do you think about this?

So, what's your story? Why do you love their music? I would love to find out!

This last picture is my absolute favorite 💚

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Things I know about the people on Taskmaster Australia season 2, before I start watching it (I mean, it's sort of season 3, or something, but it's season 2 now, we have to refer to them by the order in which they're aired or it'll get incredibly confusing):

- When I was browsing the Chortle MICF reviews to see if there was anyone I didn't know who looked interesting and maybe I'd want to look up their stuff and/or add them to my Edinburgh list this year, I clicked on someone named Jenny Tian. I saw the words "Tik-Tok star" and closed the page again, no longer interested. Perhaps it will turn out that was totally unfairly judgmental of me and she's great. I sort of hope so. Please prove me wrong and tear down my unfair biases, Tik-Tok star.

- Obviously I know Lloyd Langford. I don't know him all that well, but he's turned up as a guest on plenty of things I've watched and listened to, and I've almost always liked him well enough. By "almost always", I mean "every time except that time when I was going through a phase of watching everything I could find by Rhod Gilbert, and I watched that old panel show called Ask Rhod Gilbert, on which Lloyd Langford was a regular, and it was a terrible show, but that's not Lloyd Langford's fault".

- Wil Anderson was the favourite "alternative comedian" of Zoe Coombs Marr's character Dave, in her stand-up show Dave, in which the joke was that he's actually a very mainstream and popular Australian comedian and her character is ignorant for considering him alternative (based on reviews I've read, I think when she performed that show in the UK, she changed it from Wil Anderson to Adam Hills). Also, Wil Anderson was the guy Daniel Kitson decided to start a parody beef with in 2005, and in retaliation Wil Anderson sicced a horrible journalist on Kitson, which became that routine in his 2005 show about how much he hated that journalist. I think in that routine too, the joke was sort of that Wil Anderson is a very mainstream popular comedian (Kitson ironically suggesting that he was going to upset the mainstream comedians with his routine). Despite this, I don't actually know any more about him than that.

- Anne Edmonds is the reason Lloyd Langford is no longer in Wales, because he got married to her in Australia. Normally I try to be careful not to define female comedians by their male partners, but in my defense, in this case, most comedians I know are British, so it's reasonable for me to know the British one and not the Australian one in this couple. Her latest stand-up show has recently been released as a special, though, and I've downloaded it and intend to watch it, and then I will know her better than him as I haven't seen Lloyd Langford's stand-up. But for now I know nothing else about her.

- No idea who Josh Thomas is, though I don't mean that as an insult, like, "This guy's so unimportant that I haven't even heard of him!" I mean it as, I don't know a lot about the Australian comedy industry. Josh Thomas is probably lovely.

- Fun fact, Australian Taskmaster Tom Gleeson used to be in a band with the guy who stole Daniel Kitson's girlfriend in 2004.

- Tom Cashman is a great Taskmaster's assistant. Though I only know that from the previous season, I haven't started the new one yet so I guess it's possible that he's got much worse at his job since then. Hopefully not though.

[spicybylerpolls]

Hi. So, I know this isn't really what you do but I really like what you and your anons have to say whenever we open discourse in here and this has been stuck in my mind recently and I would really like to know you guys opinion on the matter. So here goes nothing, I guess.

I think it was you who I saw not that long ago saying that Finn is the one with the smartest career outside of ST out of the ST "kids". Which is an opinion I agree with. The second one will probably be Sadie, especially in recent years. Noah, Caleb, and Gaten seem to be trying to establish themselves in Hollywood more in recent years but I do think Noah is concentrating more on college and finishing ST5 atm while Caleb and Gaten seem to prefer Broadway.

Now, considering all this, I don't know why some people are so "worried" about Finn's career post-ST. Saying his "bright future" got ruined and he's gonna be all about angry teens, legacy movies, and 80s nostalgia. While I do think he's waiting for ST to finally be over to take on other roles he probably couldn't take before because of the ST image, I do believe he's gonna continue doing those kind of projects because he genuinely likes doing those movies.

I mean, look at him promoting Ghostbusters just last week. The only times that guy looked a little uncomfortable was when the ST questions came up. Now compared that to him promoting ST. I'm not saying he's tired of ST because he seems to be well aware that it made his career but I do think the ST fandom overwhelms him sometimes and with good reasons.

Honestly, out of the ST "kids", the one with the most "worrisome" career is Millie. Yes, she's very popular in and outside of Hollywood but she hasn't really established herself in Hollywood outside of ST/Netflix, not to mention that her projects seem to be catered more towards her female side of the fandom. There are also other things that I'm not gonna mention here but I think people can guess.

I know Millie kinda "blames" ST for not being able to take on other bigger projects but Finn and Sadie have been doing ST for (or almost) as long as she has and yet they're in big movies like It, Ghostbusters, and The Whale. Working alongside big celebrities like Paul Rudd and TS and renowned directors like Del Toro and Aronofsky. I know Finn and Sadie probably have more freedom since their characters are not as "big and important" as Eleven but still. It's a little weird, isn't it?

There's also the fact that the Godzilla movies seem to have dropped her because "she was too expensive for them". I don't know how old you are but I remember Twilight and how bad some of their careers got after they became "too expensive" for mainstream Hollywood.

Honestly, I think Finn and Sadie will be fine, at least for a while (we can never truly know the future, especially in Hollywood). Noah, Caleb, and Gaten will be fine too. I didn't mention Priya because compared to the other ST "kids" she has basically just started. Millie is the one people should be worried about.

Anyway, what do you guys think about this? If you don't want to post this, that's fine. Don't worry about it. Just needed to get this out of my mind and chest. Have a nice day!

PS: I'm not saying any of them are "bad actors" or anything. Just that some of them seem to have made some smarter career choices that others.

Hmm, these are all interesting points! I def agree that Finn and Sadie are at the top based on their overall career choices, although maybe I'd switch Sadie and Finn around slightly. I think Noah and Gaten are both wild cards given the fact that they haven't done as many projects outside of ST. I hope Noah's agent gives him better projects than The Tutor because he absolutely has the talent for it.

Caleb is a wild card too, but he's been good in the things I've seen him in like Concrete Cowboy. He also has a horror movie lined up called The Deliverance, but it's on Netflix so it's likely hit or miss. I think Gaten said somewhere that he was nervous about getting roles post S5, but you're right that his career has a lot of potential if he continues down the Broadway path.

"Now, considering all this, I don't know why some people are so "worried" about Finn's career post-ST. Saying his "bright future" got ruined and he's gonna be all about angry teens, legacy movies, and 80s nostalgia. While I do think he's waiting for ST to finally be over to take on other roles he probably couldn't take before because of the ST image, I do believe he's gonna continue doing those kind of projects because he genuinely likes doing those movies."

I think some are worried about Finn because they don't see him as being as good of an actor as the others maybe? I'm not sure how fair that is, and maybe I'm biased as a Finn stan, but I've never seen him as bad in any of the project's he's been it. With When You Finish Saving the World, he had an opportunity to work alongside some great people and I think he held his own. I think some of the issue may be that in some of his projects like Ghostbusters, especially the latest one, he really isn't being given the best material to work with. His co-star Mckenna Grace got all the meatier material.

I personally think Finn has A LOT of untapped potential and he just isn't being used properly. I know he doesn't have a big role, but I'm really, excited to see him in SNL 1975 as I think he has a lot of potential with comedy because he's funny as hell. And obviously, he has a lot of potential with writing/directing and with his music career too if he chooses to focus more on that side of things instead.

I find your points about Millie to be really intriguing! I agree with you that she hasn't established herself outside of Netflix other than the Godzilla movies, but I'm not sure I fully understand what you're getting at when you say, "her projects seem to be catered more towards her female side of the fandom" and, "There are also other things that I'm not gonna mention here but I think people can guess."

Opening this up to everyone! What are y'alls thoughts?

[thetruthaboutplastic]

Victoria Silvstedt was probably one of the very first models out there in the public eye who underwent extensive cosmetic surgery. She was already beautiful and had already been crowned Miss Sweden in the 90s (a pic of her from her beauty pageant days is shown below) and went on to compete in Miss World. She’s also one of the few models who crossed over from fashion to glamour.

She’s also an example of someone who had lip augmentation very early on, before filler became popular or more mainstream. I’m guessing she had silicone or something similar (in those days that is what most went for if whey wanted larger lips).

You may need to zoom into the pic above to see as I think it might have been cropped to post her but the above pic shows her implants properly. I think they have settled quite a bit all these years later but back in the 2000s they looked super bolted on. Because of her height it’s interesting how her implants look on her frame and the width between them. People often wonder about why implants come in different profiles (ie the same size implants but with different diameters and heights - low profile - lower look but wider across, higher profile - higher look and narrower across). In this case smaller diameter implants were used considering her frame.

Something I didn’t know about Victoria was that she used to know Melania Trump and had shared a place with her in Paris when they were both models. Interesting that Melania is also one of the relatively few fashion models who chose to have a lot of surgery and completely change her look, something that is less accepted openly in the fashion world than it is in glamour, though Melania is also much more well known for the little bits of glamour/adult modelling she did.

I couldn’t post the video link for some reason so above is just a screenshot for anyone who’s like to look it up.

(Note* I am NOT a Trump fan)

Another before and after, though in this before pic on the left there is a bit of filler in her lips etc. She just hadn’t done a lot yet at this point.

From her heydwy a couple of decades ago 💙 When I was a kid the blonde look was considered the beauty ideal. Now I think Kim Kardashian and others like her set their own sort of beauty ‘standards.’ This is a reminder though that tends change massively over time and everyone should do what makes THEM happy. I personally think there are so many amazing types of beauty out there, and not just to do with colouring. Curvier models as well as slender, able bodied or not, there is beauty EVERYWHERE 🥰

[saecookie]

Where would you suggest a newbie start on Spider-Gwen? I've looked into it a couple times and there's like two different "number one"s, and then gwenom, gwenpool, and others that look like crossovers, she's even introduced in a massive intimidating spiderverse crossover. Basically, what's a good place to start without having to do a bunch of homework?

HI NYSSA i'm finally on desktop to answer you comfortably. So happy to share as I've actually done the bunch of homework!

putting a tl;dr here: a good starting point is her first serie, Spider-Gwen (2015-2018) So. Spider-Gween as her own series, but was first introduced in the Spider-Verse comics. She has three series of her own :

Spider-Gwen (2015-18, 34 issues)

Spider-Gwen: Spider-Ghost (2019, 10 issues)

Spider-Ghost (2020-21, 10 issues)

(not at all confusing to start, not at all.)

Those are her core series, that you can read in that order if you want to go simple. Then, here are the homeworks done:

You can also preface this by reading the Spider-Verse comics, that is her first actual appearance and will give you some context for her interactions with Miles Morales in her own comics. To read this, you'll basically have to know two things : 1. in the spiderman lore, there's a family called the Inheritors who hunt the spiderpeople in the multiverse 2. there are too "mainstream" Peter Parker, one being Doc Ock in Peter's body (that's not relevant to Gwen but you might be lost abt this at first)

Then, one that might be a read is the Spider-Women comics. It takes place during Spider-Gwen #7-8 so you'll be aware of the happenings even if you don't read the comics. If you don't want tor read it, here's the point: after Spider-Verse, 3 spiderwomen keep in touch and regularly have brunch and adventures together. The point is mainly going on with Gwen's story that she's quite in touch with the multiverse and her spiderfam.

You can also read the Spider-Man/Spider-Gwen Sitting in a tree comics. This also takes place during some Gwen issues (Spider-Gwen #16-18) so you don't have to read it if you don't care about it, but it adds the some parts of the first Miles/Gwen team-up and also Miles' side.

Betwen Spider-Gwen and Spider-Gwen: Spider-Ghost happens the Spider-Geddon event. It's basically the sequel to Spider-Verse, so if you liked it you might like this one. Also it's what happens to Gwen between the first and second series, so I guess? haha.

To answer your questions: Gwenom refers to two things. Well, three really: Gwen when she fuses with venom's symbiote, Spider-Gwen's narrative arc in issues #24-29, and finally to Spider-Gwen vs Carnage. This is part of a bigger marvel event called King in Black, and is Gwen's participation in it. It's the last appearance we've had of Gwen in her continuity, so it might be relevant to her if we ever get more content, but I'm sure this will categorize then as an adventure she had, as others. If you don't have enough Gwen by now, sure you can read it.

There's also Gwen-Verse. It's a self contained mini-serie. It features Spider-Gwen having adventure with some of her counterparts, who are not spiderpeople but mixes with other superheroes. This ties in with her origins: in the introduction to Spider-Verse (titled Edge of Spider-Verse if you wanna read that), Spider-Gwen is introduced alongside other spiderpeople. She, and particularly her design, was so acclaimed that she became a fan favourite before having anything else to her name, and became popular along cosplayers. Marvel then decided to give her her own series, and notably by launching a collection of cover arts of Gwen Stacy as different marvel superheroes (you can check those here). And so basically, this mini-serie is a way to come back to this, with all kind of Gwens!

Finally you mentionned Gwenpool. Gwenpool was one of those variant that they went with. She's a completly different character, called Gwen(dolyn) Pool. iirc, she has two series of her own. She appears in the main marvel universe (so not Spider-Gwen's one) and she's a mix with Deadpool, obviously. She has the same awareness that she's in a comic world and acts very recklessly because, as this is comic world, nothing will have true consequences (which distresses basically everyone around her bc loved one dies, you know). I'm not quite fond myself of her, but if you wanna give her a try, be my guest!

I hope this was clear enough and gave you the answers you were seeking dear!

[teecupangel]

What if Desmond has a womb tattoos (succubus tattoo and he didn't regret it because he's laidback like that) as result of his newfound freedom at 16. What would Shaun, Rebecca and Lucy and his father's reactions? Also u bet it would suck if Desmond went back in time and had hide to keep it hidden especially when you are in Jerusalem or in the Renaissance. Is the American Revolutionary War good for him not hide or not?

For those unfamiliar with the womb tattoo, I’m unfamiliar if it has a different connotation in other countries but, in Japan, it’s a tattoo that’s meant to show a person who really loves dick (and maybe creampies and impregnation kink). I mostly see it in adult-only doujins and it’s very common in ones that involve mind break.

It’s like the kinky version of tramp stamp, I guess?

Anyway, it’s canon that Desmond met some girls from Illinois according to AC Revelations. So Desmond, new to the world and only having learned about it from what he heard from the adults on the Farm, was probably a bit gullible. If we consider the Farm to have a more militaristic feel to it (like a more secluded screwed-up version of Masyaf without a normal village below) then Desmond probably finds the bubbly girls nice and sweet. These girls, who let a young teenager hitchhike with them, were probably on their spring break or maybe they were on a road trip before college.

And they’ll probably be into doing something dumb and fun which includes getting a tattoo from a shady ‘we-don’t-ask-as-long-as-you-have-cash’ tattoo parlor along the way.

Not the best idea, of course.

But teenagers high on freedom would probably do dumb shit.

Including Desmond.

And, because Desmond is gullible, he agrees to a womb tattoo after one of the girls talks to him about it.

He figured it would be okay. He always wear a shirt anyway so it wasn’t like people would see it.

Nine years later and the team sees it for the first time when Desmond takes off his shirt to finally changed to clean clothes because he’d been wearing the same clothes since Abstergo captured him.

Lucy would have been too busy with her job for the Assassins and Templars to know what the womb tattoo signifies. Not to mention, she was raised in a similar compound as the Farm and had been trained personally by William Miles so, unless it’s a mainstream pop culture reference, she isn’t going to get it. (In other words, Lucy is basic.)

Rebecca, on the other hand, would definitely recognize it and she’s be waggling her eyebrows at Desmond, making subtle comments about his kink preference. Desmond, by now, understands what the tattoo means and just joins in the fun because he is laidback like that and it became a symbol of freedom for Desmond (and a reminder of how there are nice people out there… who may or may not have been tipsy the entire road trip, now that Desmond thought about it, dear lord, it was a miracle they didn’t crash)

Shaun, on the other hand, absolutely knows what the tattoo means because he’s seen weird shit thanks to his inquiring mind. But because he knows that it isn’t exactly something he could spin as related to conspiracy theories or historical events (that he knows of at the moment anyway), he is left pretending not to understand Rebecca and Desmond’s jokes about his tattoo. And because none of them know the real story behind the tattoo, they all assume that it is a kink thing so when Rebecca jokes about it while they’re eating and Desmond just retorts with a playful “Well, what can I say? I like feeling full.” and Shaun just breaks the plastic fork he’s been using because come on, Desmond!

William Miles… oh boy. So Bill has this whole ‘distant father’ bullshit going on. Not only that but he is also going to be focused on the mission and the impending world-ending sun event that will be happening on the 21st so he won’t talk about it. The day he did receive Desmond’s medical report after he was put into a coma because of Juno, he sees it on the notes (just Chewy saying: two tattoos noted, one in the arm, one by the naval area, both clean, no signs of infection) and Chewy provided pictures of the tattoos out of professional courtesy. Now, when Bill sees that tattoo, his first thought would be…

“Oh god, he’s just like his mother.”

(this is what happens when you don’t give us any breadcrumbs about Desmond’s mom, Ubisoft. We can make shit up for the angst or for the funnies.)

Now for time-travel shenanigans he has to suffer through.

I think Desmond would be fine as long as he doesn’t take off his clothes. It’s when he takes off his clothes that things would get more complicated.

Considering the religious background of the Third Crusades, tattoos would be a big no-no in that time period. The Levantine Brotherhood would definitely have something to say about it since, considering Abbas’ words in AC Revelations how the burning of bodies are not their way, the Levantine Brotherhood is, at most, heavily leaning towards Islam, and, at least, practices many Islamic traditions to show their support to the people of Levant.

Now, in Renaissance Italy, Desmond would have some leeway. All he has to do is say that it’s a thing that happens in a faraway place and he’d probably get more curious looks than derision. Of course, keep away from the Church because… yeaaahhh…

American Revolution War would be a similar thing. The Native Americans would probably ask what the tattoo means out of curiosity (and that’s an awkward conversation Desmond wouldn’t want to have. He better make up a nice lie fast) while the Colonizers would probably see the tattoo and think Desmond is a criminal or a pirate as those are the main people to have tattoos during that time period (exhibit A: Captain Edward Kenway).

Honestly, considering the clothes normally worn during those three time period, it would be stranger for Desmond to wear clothes that actually shows it off (his arm tattoo, on the other hand, would be easier to see). The only times I can think of that the tattoo would make an appearance, on the top of my head, would be if he was naked in the first place (like a bath or if he’s wounded and they needed to take off his clothes) or if he’s actually about to have sex. If it’s the latter, well… guess Desmond would find out if he does have a kink or not.

[lunapaper]

Album Review: 'GUTS' - Olivia Rodrigo

I admit, I didn’t jump on the Olivia Rodrigo train right away. 

I kinda dismissed her debut single ‘driver’s license’ as nothing more than a syrupy, overwrought pop ballad from a Disney star looking to break out into the mainstream. Even now, I’m still not the biggest fan of it. 

But then came ‘good 4 u.’ 

While GAYLE and Leah Kate traded in generic nursery rhyme hooks and Travis Barker became the go-to guy for pop punk cred, Rodrigo rocked out. Like, really rocked out, offering up razor-sharp riffage and a true scream-along chorus that didn’t come straight out of a kindergarten classroom (or an eight-person committee to write, including a nepo baby). 

Rodrigo’s sickly-sweet taste for revenge made GAYLE and Leah Kate’s respective odes to a scummy ex sound like a temper tantrum in the middle of a supermarket, declaring him a ‘damn sociopath’ while crying on the bathroom floor, almost relishing in the breakdown. Fuck, even the profanity is used to better effect. 

It might’ve been a facsimile of Paramore’s ‘Misery Business,’ but it’s a damn good one, something Rodrigo’s peers didn’t seem to get. So much of a homage to the track is ‘good 4 u,’ that Hayley Williams and former Paramore guitarist Josh Farro even received writing credits on the track.  

Rodrigo further proves herself a purveyor of fine angst on her second album. Where her 2021 debut SOUR was mired in ballads, preoccupied with the same bastard ex, GUTS reignites the bratty spirit of ‘good 4 u’ and other brilliant tracks like ‘brutal,’ amping up the snark in deliciously unhinged style while going straight for the jugular, offering wit galore.  

One of the best examples of the this is recent single, ‘get him back!’ Recalling Best Damn Thing-era Avril with a side of Sleigh Bells, Rodrigo delivers her witty repartee in a disaffected drawl akin to Beck’s ‘Loser,’ flipping between both meanings of the phrase: One minute she wants to make lunch for her dirtbag ex, next she’s ready to deliver him an uppercut.  

Previous single ‘bad idea right?’ also dabbles in the sing-speak, Rodrigo once again succumbing to the greasy charms of an ex, much to the disappointment of her friends. But can’t two people just reconnect? 

‘all-american bitch’ (which may or may not be a critique of the Disney corporate machine) offers up ‘Just a Girl’-esque commentary with a modern twist. Obliterating the soft, insecure everygirl we first got to know on ‘driver’s license,’ the singer turns motifs of retro Americana, like the Kennedys, soda cans for hair rollers and even The Craft into snark fodder, giving us one of the best rock tracks of recent years. ‘ballad of a homeschooled girl’ is sludgy and equally disillusioned, Rodrigo bemoaning the sheltered adolescence that’s left her socially stunted (‘I talkеd to this hot guy, swore I was his type/Guess that he was akin' out with boys, like, the whole night’).  

Even the ballads have improved. ‘lacy’ toys with sapphic lust as Rodrigo seemingly both loathes and lusts after the ‘dazzling starlet, Bardot incarnate’ and her wily ways, the envy consuming her.  

‘vampire,’ on the other hand, makes a lot more sense in context in the wider context of the album. I wasn’t feeling it upon first listen (It just builds and builds, and then... nothing?), but there is beauty in its melodrama: The aching vocals, the loping strings, the hint of glam rock bravado before strangely pulling back.  

The track also echoes Rodrigo’s sheltered upbringing, the singer taking her breakup with the so-called ‘famefucker’ pretty hard, which – let’s face it – was never gonna be an affair to remember. Why would you even bother to dedicate such a gutwrenching ballad to this fuccboi in the first place, it’s more than he deserves!  

Piano finale, ‘teenage dream,’ however, does give us a full rock opera crescendo, Rodrigo looking to the future and already feeling weary at the thought of ageing out of the Disney demographic.  

GUTS falls back on the schmaltz of SOUR at times, namely on the atmospheric 80s pop of ‘pretty isn’t pretty,’ which, although pretty, treads well-worn territory with its lament of impossible beauty standards. Some of the lyrics also feel cliched and even absurd (‘skin like puff pastry,’ really? Is Lacy really flaky? Is she gonna crumble to the touch?)  

And yet, Rodrigo’s sophomore record is an incredible triumph for a young artist, self-assured with a clear creative vision, her songs more than just a bunch of throwback jams. She’s a rather astute rock fan, professing her love for Sleater-Kinney, Depeche Mode and Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill in recent interviews. Delightfully kooky sonic touches, like the sing-speak and the vocal yelps on ‘love is embarrassing’ also add to the album’s charm, the kind of fun idiosyncrasies a soulless conglomerate like Disney would’ve tried to iron out. 

Where GUTS really excels, though, is its focus on defiant and unabashed female rage. Like Alanis, Fiona and Gwen before her, Rodrigo is snarling and seething, presenting a sardonic, suffocating and sometimes soul-crushing view of womanhood in the public eye. I can’t wait for when she calls the world bullshit at the next MTV Awards.  

She also follows in the footsteps of other artists like Hayley Williams and Billie Eilish in recent years who’ve centered their work around the beauty of female rage, stemming from sexism, heartbreak and mistreatment in the industry. 

‘I’ve experienced a lot of emotional turmoil over having all these feelings of rage and dissatisfaction that I felt like I couldn’t express, especially in my job,’ she recently told the Guardian. ‘I’ve always felt like: you can never admit it, be so grateful all the time, so many people want this position. And that causes a lot of repressed feelings. I’ve always struggled with wanting to be this perfect American girl and the reality of not feeling like that all the time.’ 

Funny, fierce and free of any ego, it takes a lot of guts to release a record like GUTS as your second album, at a time when rock and even pop feel so sanitised and dull. I guess I’m now fully on board the Olivia Rodrigo train, toot, toot... 

[undermine-the-instinct]

i absolutely love your bard reader series! it is practically perfect, just so well written.

my only complaint would be how much detail is put into the self insert? i wish they'd be a little more,,, vague, i guess? for premium self insert fun. but i get it, their backstory does add to the story so, and it's not a big deal to me !

anywho, here are some fun ideas for bard!reader, just cause. brainrot.

-liyue: a peking operatic, maybe with a pipa or a guzheng

-inazuma: a musical rakugo(storyteller) with a shamisen

-fonatine: a steampunk rocker with their nations newest musical invention: an electric(mechanical?) guitar

-sumeru: a ghungroo dancer (the ones with the bells!), or maybe a bharatanatyam/another classical indian dance one

-snezhnaya: a ballet dancer or even a conductor that uses their elemental powers to simulate a mini orchestra

-natlan: a griot(poet, sort of) themed after anansi, an african storyteller spider god OR a native american dancer with a flute

Bard!reader does feel more like an oc, huh? They've always felt more like their own character to me, with their own story that just needs to be told. I've had their starting story in my head, from back in Monstadt, and I felt with the situation in Sumeru they'd need to lean more a certain way, personality wise, to survive. Sumeru is not welcoming, there's heavy crowd mentality, and with their backstory I'd feel they'd act and feel a certain way bc of that. So maybe it's better to read them as an oc that you're tagging along besides.

And these ideas!!!! Put under the cut bc this gets long...

But, even though I know their story from Monstadt, and Sumeru to some extent, it was hard for me to brainstorm the other nations! A peking opera singer in Liyue? That's amazing, maybe they're working under Yun Jin, like how now they're working with Nilou at the theater! Mister Zhongli is a frequent visitor, and is an amazing source of history, telling you all about the origins of the peking opera.

They probs had to stay low in Inazuma bc of the Vision hunt decree, but maybe is secretly helping the resistance by being a rakugo, with either a shamisen or guquin (chinese instrument they learned from yun jin!!) and listening in on meetings and the like. After all in 'Second Male Lead, Enter!' Our bards says,

"I had a wanderlust. Spent a lot of time in Liyue, Inazuma was pretty interesting. I spent most of my time with a felon running from the Shogunate, whom I met on a pirate ship."

What felon do we know from Inazuma, huh?

They would play and hang out Xinyan, so they recognize the rock and roll style in Fontaine and sends her and Yun Jin (and Barbara back in monstadt) post cards and photos and lots of letters promising to go on tour with them there one day. (They all formed a performers club and promised to go on world tour together one day.)

I did a little research though, and ghungroo dancers and griots both seemed tied to religious and cultural traditions. For instance griots were typically born into the role and assisted their kings, while ghungroo/ bharatanatyam dancing was restricted to temples before it became more mainstream in response to the British and Christians trying to bash and ban the arts. And I'm still doing research for the native american dancers and flute players, but that also looks cultural and particular to certain tribes and the like?? Maybe Bard!reader meets these sorts of people, helps them out and learns things from them, like meeting other characters in a quest!

Ballet is also something that takes years to learn, but our bard has some experience, so maybe they join a school in Sneznaya, and there they meet a girl named Tonia. You two become friends and she insists you come for dinner, her brother has come home to visit so mom is making a feast, there's plenty to eat!! Only she failed to mention her brother is the famed Harbinger Tartalglia, whom you met in Liyue and wouldn't. Stop. Flirting with you. He steals the food from your plate and tries to feed you off his own, and their mother jokingly asks when's the wedding. she's not joking.

There's so many cultures and so many traditions and each have their own acclaimed spot for the arts and I think that's amazing. It's so interesting to think of exploring these cultures and arts, and our bard definitely wants to explore them all. Imaging them as part of these cultures is neat too, I'm just not sure how to write them and I dont want to disrespect or demean these cultures with mediocre writing.

Thank you for all the ideas love, and thank you for enjoying my story! You've definitely given me a lot to think about, and I hope you stick along for the rest of our bards story!

[foggyfanfic]

Headcanon: Bruno's Dating History

I thought about writing this as a fic, but one, it's way too long and two the ultimate ending is sad. I'm already writing one fic with dark themes. I don't want to get a reputation or anything. So! This is what I think Bruno's dating history was like:

cw: alludes to abusive behavior

As mentioned in another list of headcanons, I think Bruno is attracted to both men and women. Honestly, if he was a modern dude who grew up with the same culture as a lot of us on this website, I'd guess his labels to be bi, nonbinary, demisexual. But, he lives in an isolated rural community before the Pride movement in his country became a mainstream topic. So who knows what labels he would use.

The main criteria for Bruno to start feeling sexually attracted to somebody is "I can be awkward and weird around them without being told I'm a freak", although there are also certain vibes he goes for. Mainly people who are confident and passionate.

His first foray into dating is when he's 15 and he gets with a girl his mother approves of. The main thing Alma likes about the girl is that she is patient and not quick to cast judgement, which also becomes one of Bruno's favorite things about her.

As far as teenage romances go, it's very sweet. The town is only just starting to get nervous about Bruno, so for the most part every where they go, the young couple gets told how cute they look together.

On her side of things, she thinks he's funny, she enjoys his unique perspective on the world around him, and she really likes his eyes. Bruno is a caring boyfriend, who enjoys doing little things to make her happy. Plus at this point she's watching her friends' boyfriends put on pressure for a physical relationship, where as Bruno is content to let her set the pace.

About a year and a half in they decide they're ready to try having a physical relationship. They work their way up to sex over a six month period. Bruno relies heavily on the little snippets of sex he's accidentally seen in visions, but this turns out to be a more thorough sexual education than she has received so most of their experimentation is Bruno going "I saw this, do you want to try it?" and her saying yes or no.

Things go wrong when she notices Bruno likes it a bit rough. Bruno thinks what she's doing is amazing, but needs her to start out gentle, then work her way up to being rough. When he tries to tell her that he gets nervous, say something that sounds bad, starts panicking, makes it worse, and before you know it he's made his girlfriend cry.

When they've calmed down he's able to explain himself, but he's never fully able to get over the guilt, and to his biased eyes it looks like she isn't able to get over the insecurities he's caused her. So they break up.

She walks away from the relationship with high standards, because whether or not he realizes it, Bruno was a really good boyfriend. Even when she falls in love with a great guy and gets married, in her pettier moments she finds herself thinking things like, "Bruno wouldn't have forgotten what my favorite flowers are".

Bruno walks away from the relationship with low standards, because the village is beginning to criticize him more and more, and in his head he hurt her much more than in reality.

His next relationship starts when he's twenty. He gives this cute guy, Alberto, a vision that ends with the two of them making out. Bruno tries to apologize for it, but Alberto tells him to only apologize if he's not planning to buy him dinner first.

Alberto is a very pretty man, again, there's no way they had all the same labels that we have today, but it's a twink 4 twink relationship. Only, Alberto is a very neat twink, where as 20 year old Bruno is borderline too scruffy to be called a twink.

It starts out very loving, albeit secret. The only other mlm they know about is Alberto's best friend Dominic, and the Bible has things to say about this sort of thing, so Alberto especially isn't willing to go public with the relationship.

Bruno makes an effort to get along with Dominic, since he's Alberto's best friend, and finds out they have a lot in common. Alberto, for some reason, insists they aren't allowed to hang out alone together.

Bruno tells his sisters about the relationship, and although it throws them for a loop, they are very happy for him. At first.

Slowly, as the village continues to become more critical of Bruno, and his self esteem continues to decline, Alberto starts to become more and more controlling. In his mind he's trying to help Bruno win back the village's approval, he does genuinely care about Bruno, and he does genuinely think Bruno is the most wonderful person ever. He thinks if Bruno could just hide some of the more awkward behaviors in public, others would see how kind and intelligent he is. He continues to not care how weird Bruno is in private.

Bruno reaches a point where he's just grateful that somebody likes him enough to want to be with him, and he let's a lot of stuff slide.

On top of that, Bruno is a great listener, resulting in him being a great lover. Alberto will often spend all day thinking about how good that thing Bruno does will feel and can't focus on anything else. Including Bruno's pleasure.

Pepa is the first to point out how toxic the relationship has become, she's had her fair share of bad boyfriends, so she notices the red flags. Bruno brushes her off.

Dominic and Alberto have some sort of falling out, the details of which Alberto refuses to share, and suddenly Bruno isn't allowed to talk to Dominic period. This makes him a lot sadder than he would have expected.

Julieta starts to notice that the relationship is no longer a source of happiness for Bruno, and jumps on the "Find Another Boyfriend" campaign Pepa has started.

Finally Alberto himself eventually realizes he's doing Bruno more harm than good. They are three years in at this point and Alberto is trying to imagine raising kids with Bruno, but doesn't like the way imaginary future him treats imaginary future Bruno. Over the next year, he tries to be better, but keeps falling back into bad habits.

Alberto ends their four year relationship, apologizes to Bruno for the way he's acted, and makes a last ditch effort to convince Bruno that he's actually pretty wonderful. It only serves to make it harder for Bruno to get over the relationship.

Alberto walks away from the relationship thoroughly ashamed of himself. He marries a woman he gets along with well enough, and does the family thing, but if he's going to be honest he never truly stops loving Bruno.

A year goes by and the Madrigals get invited to Dominic's engagement party. Bruno (25 at this point) is excited to go, and hopes to reconnect with him. At the party he asks Dominic if he would like to hang out some time and Dominic says his fiancee probably wouldn't be comfortable with that.

Bruno responds to this with confusion, because he didn't think the bride to be bought into the Bad Luck Bruno thing. Dominic confirms that she doesn't, but she does know how he's always felt about Bruno.

Cue more confusion on Bruno's part. Dominic gets this look of slowly dawning horror as he realizes that Bruno didn't know about Dominic's feelings.

Turns out, Dominic had been in love with Bruno for years, but hadn't realized Bruno was into men until he was already dating Alberto. The falling out had been over Alberto accidentally letting slip that he'd known about Dominic's feelings, when Dominic had confronted Alberto about the way he was treating Bruno.

For a second the men just stare at each other, both suddenly over come with thoughts of what might have been. Ultimately, Dominic walks away, not willing to sacrifice the great relationship he has over a daydream. He has a happy life with his wife, even if he sometimes gets a bit wistful when he thinks of Bruno.

Bruno on the other hand, never tries dating again (or at least not before canon) and spends the rest of his life wondering what could have been with Dominic.

He is completely unaware that there are three people in the village who will always be a little in love with him, and gets further and further buried under his own insecurities.

[whiskeyswifty]

omg why dont you like rep babe! no hate i swear, jyst curious love your thoughts always

hahaha no worries, i get this question a lot. i'm in the minority, i know. just from a subjective place, its very try-hard to me. i think it's great she likes to branch out and try new things and sounds and challenge herself artistically i guess, i just don't care for it lol. the sound is a little too sterile and closed off for me, especially since she's got such a knack for tactile and intimate songwriting/production. repetitive in it's instrumental vocabulary as well and that makes me so bored. i remember listening to it a lot when it first came out and i would zone out... which is the kiss of death. she knows how to make a jaunty pop tune or a soft acoustic song sound fresh and inventive every time, but her dalliance with dance/pop just sounds like imitation. and i find it some of her worst lyrics of all time, in my personal opinion. clunky and forced. not all of the songs, of course, like i feel she has highs and lows on all her albums. but reputation is unlistenable to me outside of like 3 songs i think.

also not to mention that the irony of her going dance-pop in 2017... i think i talked about this before but pre-1989 (the album not year), pop music in the early 2010's was super dance/edm saturated, this all coming from an american market. all the pop stars were doing songs with DJs and Zedd and Avicii and Swedish House Mafia and all these club music types were dominating the charts, beyond your typical drugstore pop fare from like Pink and Bruno Mars and the like. 1989 injected a synth wave (lol) into mainstream pop music, mainly coming from her work with Jack but still she gets a lot of the credit for choosing that sound. (and also other areas of music and pop culture contributed to the rise of the underwater synth pop sound that became prevalent) atmospheric and moody synths and new wave-y sounds became the chart norm in the years after 1989 and what does she do? go BACK to dance pop which was at that point fading out of fashion partly BECAUSE OF HER LOL. taylor has always seemed to do what she liked insofar as her musical sound. a lot of her choices, even today, tend to be even just slightly left of center because she's always seemed to make music that inspires her. work with people who's music inspires her lyrics and so on. it's because of that drive to do what she's personally drawn to that makes her work so inventive over the years, and why she has such a phenomenal hit to flop ratio.

mayyyyybe reputation was the kind of music she liked at that time, moody dance pop and whatnot, idk it's hard to know, but it also was the first time she appeared to try to make music that was directly aligned with what was popular, even if by the time it came out that style was waning. but that's the thing isn't it, if you trend chase, you'll always be behind. taylor was always a trailblazer at the most and had a unique perspective at the least, and reputation sounded for the first time like an imitation of something she wanted to be, but was not and fell short of it in a way that was painfully close in some ways, and just painful in others (the rap components make me shiver with secondhand embarrassment). she had all the components, but didn't have the ear or the feel for that kind of sound to put it together in a way that sounded as cohesive as her other genre work. you end up with a sort of plug and play clumsy thing that falls flat. that sort of thing bothers me more than most people because i'm annoying like that, but that's just my hangup. like how i can't stand when someone wears a very nice suit but ill-tailored on them, or takes a well raised cut of meat and absolutely destroys it by overcooking it. not everything suits everyone, even if you love it. of course, go ahead, try new things, but for me personally i feel very "happy for you and your journey but i'm not reading all that" about reputation, to sum it up i guess lol. i hope this doesn't come off too mean, its just my opinion! i'm not saying i'm right or rep enjoyers are wrong, it's just my thoughts about it and why i'm a rep-skipper.

[yvtro]

☕️ I’d really like to here your thoughts on Cass Cain or Superman

☕️ cass: i love cass. her guilt complex and how she strives for virtue really compels me. it's just that it took me a long while to really get into her character and understand her, because

1. perhaps in a surprising fit, i had read more of shiva's content before i ever got even to cassandra's essential reading, and i felt a bit resentful that wu-san became her foil. i also was not sold on their relationship back then and i'm still a bit ambivalent about that. don't get me wrong, there's some really great stuff about it that makes me feel like i swallowed a knife. (in a good way, of course.) i'm just stubborn sometimes.

2. the whole 'brought up to be a weapon' storylines are not very appealing to me. i like when there's more space for ambiguity and messiness in character's tragic backstories. this part really just boils down to the matter of taste.

3. the way she's portrayed in some books and fanon just completely throws me off (which is not me saying that she's a bad character or anything; it's a complaint that i have about pretty much every dc character, so consider it more of a rant about the writers and content creators). she's often infantilised and idealised in a way that imo renders the narrative infinitely boring, and has rather racist and ableist connotations.

☕️ superman: i'm not sure if you're asking about the character or the title, but i love both. superman was what got me into comics in the first place. it's v frustrating how the title is often labeled as boring purely because of its mainstream status. clark's identity as a refugee and the theme of connecting to one's heritage are so special to me as an immigrant, and there's lots of other elements that make his origin very unique (climate change?? hello). (<- although i guess all of these elements are much more evident in kara's story.) i guess one thing about how i curate my experience with his character is that i do not care much for his jla business, since i'm rather enamoured with his solo titles, his legacy, characters integral to his life as a civilian (like Lois, my beloved) and his job as a journalist (i really miss the times when it mattered more! modern adaptations esp don't seem to consider it interesting to properly explore and include in the narrative). also, a sidenote, i'm esp fond of series' exploring clark's childhood and youth, which i guess is a result of being introduced to his character via smallvile.

[starlight-time-machine]

Week in Review

05/26/2024 – 06/01/2024

Sunday

Week 16 of missing Cipher Academy

Had outdoor activities again this weekend so I didn’t get much manga reading in, but I did start watching The Simpsons for the first time ever. I guess it’s one of those shows where it’s so legendary that I figure I should check it out, and it’s been fine so far. It’s gotten a few chuckles out of me, but I’ve gotta say that Homer is the weakest link for me right now. I don’t mind “lovable but bumbling idiot” type of characters, but he’s not particularly lovable to me currently…especially with the back to back episodes of Marge almost having an affair before backing out and Homer having his picture taken with an exotic dancer…it just never feels like Homer truly earns his redemption to me. My favourite sitcom of all time is Malcolm in the Middle, so it’s hard not to compare the two couples and see how Hal and Lois treated each other kinder and more fairly.

Monday

Akuheki fine…I’ll save my full thoughts for the ending but it’s not looking good, folks.

Girl Meets Rock good, love the teen drama. I’m a bit sad that it looks like it’s going to be a girl band vs boy band rivalry because co-ed bands are so rare in manga, but it is what it is.

Oshi no Ko fine…as expected, they’re pulling the punches and steering the story back to mainstream appealable normalcy, even sanding off the complication of Goro being an adult surrounded by previously teenage love interests by separating Goro from Aqua entirely. I don’t know, it feels a little cowardly I guess…it feels like they had stuff like the incest pseudo-age gap as a hook and a vehicle for both comedy and drama, but when they had to confront the logical endpoints of these ethical dilemmas, they just backed away completely and gave us a bunch of rationalizations to make the course correction as palatable as possible… I would’ve preferred that they just went for it, it would’ve made for a more unique and interesting story…but whatever…I’m sure everything’s going to end up perfectly happy and normal and I’ll think it’s mid.

Dandadan good, I see now why they introduced that cop as his own character. I’m excited to see how this figures in Zuma’s redemption, because the other kids haven’t really had their parental figures factor in their personal arcs (except maybe Vamola, but in flashback only).

Magilumiere fine. Obviously they were going to have a repeat of what happened to Alice for maximum drama lol

Chainsaw Man fine…? It’ll be peak if something actually happens as a result of this chapter.

One Piece very good…in addition to the massive lore drop, the spread where that one Elder splits the whole cloud in half was very cool.

Tuesday

Read through most of She Who Became the Sun’s second part and aghhhh the pages just fall away like nothing because I’m so engrossed in the political war drama… I’ve become really endeared to Ouyang (he’s such an interesting foil for Zhu) and the inevitably tragic tension between him and Esen (the scene where they drink together had me holding my breath). I appreciate Parker-Chan focusing on both sides of the war and how each faction has their own issues and internal power struggles. I don’t want to see Ouyang or Zhu lose, but their trajectories will inevitably pit them against one another, and it seems that only one will emerge as the victor. I’m also fascinated by Lord Wang – I was genuinely rooting for Esen and Wang’s relationship, but I don’t think they can ever come back from what happened now. But Wang’s shrewdness clashes with the Mongols’ sensibilities in fascinating ways, and I like how he sticks to his own principles no matter how much other people look down on him. Meanwhile, Ma and Zhu’s relationship is also interesting, and I like that Ma is showing Zhu what can lie beyond her base instincts of survival and achieving greatness. I will say that some of the wording does get repetitive at times (I think we get the greatness vs nothingness struggle by now without needing those specific words repeated ad nauseum), and I would’ve liked to actually see the Jiankang battle play out (war arcs can be really fun to watch when done correctly), but oh well. I couldn’t bring myself to read the climax of part two yet because I’m dreading what’s to come, but we’ll see how I feel tomorrow.

OH MY GODDDD WATASHI NO MUSUKO GA ISEKAI TENSEI SHITAPPOI FINALLY UPDATED AFTER SEVEN LONG MONTHS I’VE BEEN DREAMING OF THIS DAY and then I read the chapter and regained the pit of dread in my stomach. Mio’s still missing, Doubara’s floundering, and now with Haruji closing in I can feel the seconds ticking down to the bomb exploding…

Wednesday

Rewatched Succession season 4 episode 8 as I made dinner, and I really love how thematically cohesive it is. The episode starts with Tom basically laying out the thesis to us: information is power, and it’s important to know when and how to utilize it for maximum effect. This whole election is an information war told from the perspective of a news organization, and it’s so interesting to watch how the dissemination of information and especially misinformation can change the tide of reality. Lies becoming truth is another one of Succession’s main themes, and it’s articulated so well in this episode. From the uncertainty of who started the fire to the Schrödinger’s burned ballots to Roman undercutting Shiv with right wing buzzwords at every turn, it really is all about controlling “the Narrative.” And oh god, when Shiv tries to play the same game and it completely blows up in her face…her biggest misstep was definitely underestimating Greg. Shiv’s always so focused on one-upping her family members that she neglects Tom and by extension Greg, and she has no idea how entrenched Greg has become in all the spheres of power that surround them. (Conversely, Tom is hyperaware of this, having had a hand in raising Greg into the slimeball we see today.) Greg even gives her a chance to offer something of value to him, but Shiv just resorts to empty threats of violence and weird wordplay and all of it is downright cringe (and I like that you can see Greg thinking this too, as he just kind of just scoffs rather than cower like he did in their first interaction four whole seasons ago). And when it came down to it, Shiv failed to control the flow of information (not considering Ken’s connection with Nate nor Greg’s involvement) and it all came crashing down around her…and that being reflected in the election is so genius.

Finished Simpsons season 1 and it was pretty okay. I like seeing the world expand and being introduced to new recurring characters who inhabit Springfield. I really liked Krusty Gets Busted, just a fun little mystery episode and it’s funny how intellectual and well-spoken Sideshow Bob is. I think Bart and Lisa are my favourite characters, and it was really cute to see Bart care about Krusty and eventually prove his innocence.

Got to the end of part 2 of She Who Became the Sun and wow…I was initially a little put off by Zhu intentionally inflicting biological warfare on her own soldiers in order to avoid taking a side in the incoming coup, but I guess it was her only real option…it seemed uncharacteristically callous at first read, though. I loved that the climax to part 2 was Zhu and Ouyang’s confrontation. After all the build-up and shifts in power on both sides of the conflict, having these two foils finally clash was amazing. Not only are they both invested in/representatives of their respective sides, but their conflict was also so personal and meaningful. It can be difficult to write a high-stakes fight in which your protagonist loses but doesn’t die, and I like the resolution here of Ouyang cruelly aiming to disfigure Zhu and subject her to a life of scorn rather than an honourable death (I’m sure Zhu won’t be deterred so easily, though).

Thursday

DunMesh episode with a side of the same thing I had last Thursday, but it wasn’t as good as last time. The food, that is, because the episode was amazing and so so funny. I love all of Marcille’s weird movements as she tries to control the familiars, the gags about the shape of the familiars, and the final punchline of eating them. Just a perfect comedy episode.

Started Simpsons season 2 today, and I’ve gotta say, the writing has gotten a lot better. Homer’s more likeable, for one thing, but also the episodes feel tighter and more deserving of the reputation that they still have today. I can see why even I knew about the Bart Gets an F episode despite never having seen Simpsons before.

Friday

Ummm

Saturday

Watched the latest Smartypants episode, and to be honest the first two powerpoints felt like just normal educational presentations despite their wacky subject matter, but it was still entertaining to watch. But I really appreciated Raphael for being the first one to actually embody a character giving a presentation, and his was my favourite of the episode.

[badedramay]

is there an explanation for why mehwish and humayun have never really gotten a Good story opposite each other. like did they make the transition into lollywood too quickly so now we’re doomed to never see anything really narratively substantive from them. am rewatching dil lagi and it has some flaws as do most dramas that are more than a few years old but it makes me sad bc it feels like their only work opposite each other that actually had something interesting to say. i wish they’d do another drama again i can’t stomach another krq movie 😭

Narratively substantial ab kuch banta hi kahan hai? 🤡

I guess for both Humayun and Mehwish dramas as a medium can no longer "contain" the stature they have built for themselves? Humayun exclusively works with KRQ for the primary reasons that the Humayun-KRQ-Nadeem team are guaranteed hit maker so Humayun can continue having a crazy success streak and also KRQ has mastered how to write the vulnerable macho man who's the biggest victim without compromising on his mardaangi; a kind of character that Humayun knows how to embody very well now in his age. Humayun doesn't need to experiment when he's with KRQ - the writing carries more than half the weight of the project and all he has to do is earnestly act it out; something he knows very well do to.

Mehwish, unfortunately, doesn't seem to have the same kind of dedicated team behind her to provide her the same home level comfort and relaxation of being in a hit project on TV. there's just so many teams and camps on TV now that I guess for older actors it's hard to make new connections with old players. you know how fragile the ego of these starry people are? kya hi pata kab kisi ko kaise annoy kiya ho ke phir kabhi baat hi nahin ki.

Individually, Mehwish and Humayun both used to do good TV back when they there was flourishing content on TV. then TV became too small for them and they ruled the big screen for a while. now switching back to the smaller screen in smaller roles might not be comfortable for them considering how BOTH of them have been part of reputable international projects. ab acha lagega ke Mehwish 7th Sky pe 100 episode dramas kare?? and the kinds of projects Humayun does for TV aren't the ones where Mehwish can fit in. she's too powerful of an actor and a personality to play the women KRQ now writes for TV. it's different in a 3 hour long movie, har haftay kon zaleel hona pasand karega? she's not like Ayeza who'd simply refuse to give an interview talking about her character.

it's sad though. Mehwish is a brilliant performer and she still has SO much to offer. but wohi same rona hai - there's no opportunity to showcase all that because TV in Pakistan in a very weird, divided space. a decade ago thoughtful dramas were the mainstream ones and now there's a clear divide between the "popular" dramas and "good" dramas. audience's reactions have evolved and I get why it could be scary for some actors who have experienced much popularity in the past to dip their toes into this now unknown territory. some of the best of our actors had their brightest days before their due time. and now the spotlight shines on others.

[legacy-by-darkryuu]

Remaster: Step Toward the Future, Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Birthday

Rating: M/Adult

Author’s Note: Woot, woot, another update. This, by and large, is one of the bigger departures from the previous version. Not the BIGGEST, as some chapters I’m pretty much writing from scratch right now. But it stays mostly true to the subject matter. Additionally, I threw in some concepts that distribute across the series as a whole.

Also available on Archive of Our Own

Happy Reading!

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 Yagami Jill groaned, stretching when she noticed for some reason she was asleep on her couch. A little mystified by the thigh her head was rested on, she sat up and found Kai Thompson also fast asleep. Oh yea, they were watching a movie.

 Looking at the clock, she was relieved it was just a little after midnight, meaning she could get at least six more hours of sleep.  She shook Kai’s shoulder and he mumbled something before slumping some more. “Kai.” He bolted when he heard her voice, seeming startled. “What the—oh. Oh, damn, Jill.” “C’mon, let’s go to bed” she yawned, grabbing his arm. “Uh, wha?” “Just to sleep, perv. C’mon.” Kai gave her a look before wandering behind her to her room. “Jill, I probably ought to go home.” She sulked at him, taking off her shirt. Kai looked flabbergasted, “…Why am I getting so much more potential now that we’re just friends?” “Shut up” she leered, starting for the bathroom, “It’s too late for you to be walking around these parts in the darkness, especially considering your ‘reputation’. There’s nothing wrong with you sleeping over.” Finding her brother’s System of a Down t-shirt, she put it on, brushed her teeth, and started back into the room. Kai was stretched across her bed with his arms behind his head, half naked and a cocky smile on his face. “…You know, we could always be friends with…benefits?” Jill smirked at him, walking over to lie down, “You know, there are at least two separate beds in this room.” “When I can be your little spoon instead?” With a laugh, she elbowed him, “Your side of the bed, little spoon. Good night.” Kai just sighed and pulled the blankets over him, closing his eyes again. He was just going to be flirtatious forever, she had to realize. While she recognized she should be wary of that, she didn’t get the idea he didn’t know boundaries. A tiny place in the back of her mind was kind of tempted to give it a try, he was pretty hot.

 …But some part of her also wanted to understand what she wanted with Cliff. And…what he wanted from her. Especially after that almost kiss…

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  Cliff walked to Jill’s farm, his heart racing for whatever reason. Lately, it was doing that whenever he went to see her.

 Taking a deep breath, he walked through the arched entry of the farm and looked around. Usually, she was out watering her crops about now. He jumped a little when he heard her laughter. Smiling, he followed the sound…and instantly sulked.

 Kai was picking oranges off of one of her trees, apparently talking as she weeded around her plants. According to her, they were just ‘friends’ now but Cliff found it strange that he saw the guy over here more now since they became ‘just friends’. Disgruntled, he walked over. Yea, Kai was still up to something.

 “--So my sister was like, ‘Kai, dad says you need a job. He makes jewelry for a living so you might as well just go around to different islands and serve pizza like you want’.”

 Jill smirked, “You and your siblings are really a bunch of hippies. ‘Do what makes you happy, dude’.” He groaned, “We did have a pretty boho lifestyle growing up. Kind of why dad getting all stern and mainstream was a shock. It’s too late, dad, we’re a bunch of beach bums.” “I guess it’s lucky my brothers are ambitious. I’m probably the ‘beach bum’ considering even my younger brother came out of high school with a plan” Jill grumbled, gently tugging tomatoes from the vine. ...Well, sounded innocent enough. Cliff lightly cleared his throat. Jill looked up and gasped, “Oh, hi, Cliff! Oh my God, it’s lunch time already?” Cliff nodded as she got to her feet, dusting off her hands. “I’m starving. It’s about time for you to open shop too, right, Kai?” Glancing to his wrist, Kai nodded, “Yea, I better run. Dinner tonight or terrible nineties movies?” “Terrible nineties movies. I’m having dinner with Popuri and her family” Jill nodded back. Kai raised a brow, handing her the basket of oranges. “…Yea, be careful around that guy, babe. I mean, granted, no one likes me here but he always rubbed me the wrong way the most.” “Rick?” Jill echoed, confused, “I don’t…get any bad vibes, just weird ones.” Unfortunately, Cliff sort of had to agree with Kai. Yamachi Rick, Popuri’s older brother, was kind of mysterious. Not that that instantly made anyone suspicious, just something about him personally. He just didn’t seem to…

 Words were imprecise. To say he didn’t fit or he didn’t belong was making someone an outcast and that wasn’t good. Rick and Popuri’s father left when she was around eight or nine to find a cure for their sick mother. The man had yet to come back fifteen years later so it made Rick the ‘man of the house’. It just…made him into a very strange person. Which, again, wasn’t a crime. Just…something.

 Cliff quickly smiled when Jill popped up in front of him, interrupting his thoughts. “Come wait inside while I wash up. It’s blazing out here.” “A-Ah, okay.” He wandered in behind her, taking a seat on her couch at her behest. She’d turned on the television before she rushed to her bedroom. Resting his chin in his hand, he watched the talk show for a moment before glancing to a shirt on the floor. Granted, she wore shirts that apparently belonged to her older brothers but this one seemed a little different. It looked like something Kai had been wearing once. She told him the day following her running off to Hondo, the mainland, that she and Kai had decided they’d just be ‘friends’, that he admitted to what he told Cliff at the Tomato Festival, and that he wasn’t really going to be able to present exactly what Jill wanted. It sounded a little too good to be true for that playboy.

 Cliff glowered, tapping his temple. And perhaps it was. He’d been shocked when he came over one morning to surprise Jill with breakfast to find the guy here. It was quite clear he stayed the night too. The thing was, it wasn’t Cliff’s business but what were they…doing? How’d they go from making out to deciding not to make out to Kai staying the night?

 He’d grumbled to Popuri after and she just shrugged. “Maybe they’re open.” Open…to what? Now that the pretense of them sleeping together was over they could sleep together? It…it aggravated him.

 Emerging from her room, Jill tugged at the white Nirvana shirt she had on with the jean capris. Her family seemed to be music fans, he noted. He also noted the way the shirt hugged her body before grimacing. Yea. He was jealous. “Man, my brothers were talking about coming to visit but then all five of them got distracted” she grumbled, locking the door behind them when they walked out, “I swear, they all go a damn mile a minute in nonsense. What’s the just about to be eighteen-year-old kid got to do?” Cliff chuckled, “As a recent just about to be eighteen-year-old young man myself, I can tell you that it’s nothing good.” She groaned at that as they walked up the dirt roads. “Yea, Shaun is a little…spirited.” Cliff knew…a lot of bit, really. His patriarch had always been rather impressed with them. “Uh, so, tell me about your brothers again. I mean, five? That’s nuts.” “Well, there’s Shin, the oldest. Shin joined the army and works for the police when he’s not on active duty. He’s the responsible one. Then there’s the twins. Koji is the oldest and Nerimaru—Nelly—he’s the youngest twin. They’re both like, absolute frat boys but without the actual frat? Like, they really just want the party part? Then there’s my brother, Tony. Tony is going to school for laboratory science or something like that, it involves a ton of chemistry. And Shaun, the baby, he’s going to school in August for some sort of engineering.” Huh. Five whole brothers, that was…pretty insane. Jill looked up at him as they walked by the blacksmith, “Do you have siblings, Cliff?” Oh. “Um, yea. I’m the oldest but I have two younger sisters. Nyoko is the middle child and Kyoko is the baby.” “How’d you get ‘Cliff’ and your sisters are rhyming?” she teased. He grinned, “I dunno. Your parents were all over the charts too though.” “I do wonder” Jill mused thoughtfully, thanking him as he held the door to the inn slash restaurant open for her, “I would guess it’s because my dad’s half-American but, I mean, he was born and raised here. He does a lot of American things for not having been born there.” Well, they also had that in common. He took a seat and was relieved when it was another waitress that took their order. Something about Ann lately made him kind of frustrated. Maybe because this whole Kai predicament started at the Goddess Festival where she interjected only to run off with Mary later. … Clearing his throat after they made their order, he twiddled his fingers, “…Can I…ask you something super invasive?” “Wha?” she echoed, “…How invasive?” “Like…what’s going on with you and Kai?” With a groan, Jill rolled her eyes around, leaning back. “Look, I don’t actually know. The night I was like, ‘look, you’re looking for a lay and I’m not’, everything seemed fine. Then, well…I don’t know. It felt like when all the pretext was out the window, I didn’t feel weird about making out with him.” Bingo. Cliff sighed deeply, “So you’re a couple.” “I’d feel better that way but Kai won’t hear it.” What? “He’s an idiot then! Why won’t he?” She shrugged as if it was very inconsequential. “I think he truly agreed that it wasn’t appropriate for us. Honestly, even he’s the one that will kind of pump the brakes if we’re getting in too deep. I’m grateful though. I’m more like my brothers than I would have ever even wanted to be.” “Oh?” “Hell, I’m all by myself out here without my guards and all these hot guys. I could be making up for lost time” she huffed.

 Somehow, he had to smirk at that. “So, you have your eyes on other guys aside from Kai?” Cliff’s eyes widened as she gazed at him solemnly. His eyes were a darker blue than hers. Hers were absolutely piercing and…and he wanted to know badly what it was she was thinking. “I mean, Gray’s kind of hot too, y’know?” He snickered, breaking from the stare, rolling his eyes, “That’s what all the girls say…” “But, oddly, Kai is the hated one.” Eh? Cliff raised a brow at her and she gave him a look back. What? “Well, Kai will actually act on it. I don’t know what his game is, Jill, or whatever you guys are doing but just be careful, okay?”

She waved a hand and changed the subject but he was irritated. It didn’t make sense to him. It was like she was uncomfortable being Kai’s girlfriend but was now more comfortable ‘open’ and actually trying to engage Kai in a relationship. And Kai was refusing? What the hell? …He had a lot to figure out.

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  “Let’s ditch this dump and go have some fun elsewhere.” Yagami Jill flustered as she walked beside Kai, awkwardly looking up to see if anyone would recognize her. They were in the forbidden area of Wasaba. Wasaba was where her father was born, essentially the slums, and while the man had been very lenient with his children, he strictly forbid them going to Wasaba for any reason.

 Basically, every last one of his sons tap danced all over that mandate, going to Wasaba like it was their second or third home. Shaun constantly went there to see his best friend, Annaliese. Hell, Shin even went to live there for a while. But her? She listened mostly, only having gone to visit her oldest brother once. And now? Now, she was walking into East Wasaba and felt terrible. “M-Maybe we should go back to Mineral Town, Kai.” “Why?” he questioned, smoothing his Calvin Klein black shirt, “You’re not scared, are you?” Pouting, she glanced around again. Honestly, it didn’t look that bad. Sure, there were some empty creepy looking buildings but that could happen everywhere. No, it looked like the average city. Just… “…My papa told us not to come to Wasaba.” “I mean, you couldn’t pay me to go to West or South Wasaba, but North and East are awesome. But we can go back if you don’t want to stay. Just it’s a shame since you got all dressed up.” Her brothers would have a conniption, she was wearing just a black spaghetti strap dress that stopped high above her legs, a birthday gift from her high school friend, Daisy, and a pair of strappy heels. She’d even curled her hair. It was just the first time she got to really go to a club-club not for a concert. Grumbling, she crossed her arms. “No, I’ll-I’ll stay but not for long.” Kai grinned and held her hand, “Let’s make it a fun ‘not for long’ then.” Jill grasped his hand a little tighter as the bouncer gave them sort of a ‘look’ but allowed them in. Perhaps they could smell her fear. It was crowded. And smoky. And it smelled like liquor which she knew well from her older brothers. This…did not look like her scene. Kai smirked at her knowingly, leading her to the bar. “C’mon, let’s get a drink to get you a little less tense!” “That doesn’t sound like a good thing!” she called back, sulking. “I’m here and I promise I won’t let anything happen to you!” Sure. He sat her at the barstool as she signaled for the bartender. He ordered cognac and ordered her coconut rum with juice. She frowned as the busy tender quickly composed the drinks before rushing back to the other end to other patrons, advising she’d open their tab later. Tab? Jill picked up the drink and sniffed it before taking a sip… “…Oh! That’s actually good!” “It’s the weakest liquor I know!” he teased, pinching her side. She stuck out her tongue and took another sip. While she knew this was very much not what her brothers were drinking, this was kind of tasty so maybe all their beverages made sense. “Kai! Have you ever had Everclear?” “You mean have I ever wanted to wake up in another country, naked, on the street? No!” he smirked. “My brothers, the twins, they drink it all the time!” Kai just cringed and shook his head, “Your brothers are hard then, that shit is almost a hundred percent alcohol!” Oh. Well, those two were crazy. Finishing her drink, she requested a sip of Kai’s. He smiled at her coyly, “Henny may be a little strong for you too!” “Oh, just a sip” she huffed, taking it. …It was interesting. Not tasty like the rum but it was kind of sweet and a little spicy. “I want that!” Kai laughed and waved for the bartender again, “You’re just more and more my kind of person every day, Jill.” Hmm? He ordered two more cups and handed his credit card over this time. She poked his arm, “Let me get next round!” “Next round?” he echoed, “I thought you were a lightweight!” She had nipped at a bit of Koji’s Smirnoff once but it was unflavored and absolutely awful. It had made her sick and throw up for hours. However, she was only thirteen, fourteen at the time. The experience hadn’t made her want to try anything else since but maybe she was actually better off this time.

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Kai Thompson stared, flabbergasted and horrified, as maybe an hour later, Jill and the club pretty much went insane. Three, six, nine, damn, girl fine. Hopin’ she can sock it to me one more time. Get low, get low, get low, get low, get low, get low, get low. He smiled awkwardly as she straddled his waist where he had been sitting with her, grinding and sloshing maybe her fifth drink around, screaming with the other clubgoers. “To the window, to the wall!” Yea, this was probably not going to go well. Trying to find a way to grab her without grabbing somewhere inappropriate, he settled on wrapping his arms around her. “Uh, hey, Jill! Maybe we should go!” “Why?! Just a couple more drinks!” “Oh, no, no, a couple more of those and you’re going to hate my guts tomorrow!” Kai laughed nervously. She gave him this sexy sultry moue, hugging his neck, “I don’t hate you like the others, Kai. I like that you’re honest and open with me.” “Huh?” He was a little puzzled by the sentiment but jolted when she kissed him hard, her tongue darting between his lips. Oh hell. Turning his head, his mind in shambles, he quickly raised a finger to signal the bartender to cut them off, “Y-Yea, an-and honestly, we need to go! Check, please!”

Swallowing when she kissed his neck, her legs still grappling his hips, he frantically signed the receipt before standing up and reaching out to stabilize her. She almost fell over, giggling. “C’mon, Kai, let’s go to a hotel.” “No, no, let’s not do that” he smiled, holding her waist as they exited. “L-Let’s go home and I’ll tuck you in.” At the time, she didn’t argue, staggering and almost falling over a number of times. He would have carried her but…well, that’d just look suspicious of anyone at this current junction but especially for him. The ferry was vicious for this type of outing, Jill’s high coming down when seasickness battled drunkenness. She turned green and rested her head in his lap, queasy. Kai awkwardly rubbed her back, swallowing at how silky her skin was. Yea, this… When they arrived to stable ground, it was late enough he felt comfortable in Mineral Town to physically lift her back to her farm. Jill held him tight, mumbling to him that maybe the Henny was a bad idea. After getting her keys to enter the abode, he carried her back to her room and settled her in bed. After all that, he was ready to go settle on her couch. They’d find him on the sand outside of his beach house if he tried. While he assumed Jill had fallen asleep, she roused to wrap her arms around his neck again. “K-Kai, I w-want to try it. M-My brothers get girls all thuh time…” “Huh?” he said, confused. ���I wanna try it. Le-Let’s have sex. I-I wanna know w-wha’ the big deal is.” Oops. “Yea, Jill, that’s a big no-no when we’re drunk, okay? That aside, we already decided we’re just friends, right?” “But I know you better now…we can try it again…” …Mm. “What about Cliff, Jill? Don’t you still want to try with him?” That made her look mad. “He doesn’t wanna try with me. He only tried to kiss me once and now I don’t know what he wants. At least you were consistently interested…” …That dummy. “Maybe, lady. But we’ll revisit this tomorrow, okay? I’m sleepy.” He kissed her forehead and pulled the covers over her. Somehow, he half expected her to come crawl onto the couch with him but when he went to check on her ten minutes later, she was fast asleep. Kai stared and his brow twitched. …His third and pretty much last girlfriend had gone with him to that same bar one fateful night. He suggested she try the cognac and she told him in what had to have been the worst breakup line of all time that ‘brown was trouble in more ways than one’. …Cliff needed to get his damn act together.

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 Yamachi Popuri smiled as she wandered into Jill’s bedroom with a tray of broth and water. Jill, on the other hand, was moaning and sobbing. “My brothers are monsters. There is nothing worth this sort of agony…” With a snicker, Popuri sat down on the bed with her, “Two, three drinks is my maximum standard, girl. You went two over.” Sitting up, her hair tousled all over her head, Jill wearily sipped the broth. “Yea, Kai said I should stop after I bought the third round but I was raring to go at that point…” Popuri raised a brow, “You two didn’t drunk shack up, did you?” Jill flustered, groaning again, “No…he was very decent and respectful. I mean, I put it out there but he did the right thing.” Popuri rested her legs across the bed, blinking knowingly, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you sound a little disappointed.” “Oh no!” she gasped, “I-I mean, I’m glad he kept anything from happening! Just…I guess I wouldn’t have exactly regretted it. I-I will admit I know the meaning of ‘liquid courage’ now. I dunno if I have the guts to be that forward sober.” “If you’re comfortable with the person, it’s easier” Popuri assured, glancing at Jill’s nightstand.

 Oh. Popuri picked up a picture in a frame, “Oh, are these your brothers?” “E-Eh? O-Oh yea, t-that’s them. We took that when I went back to visit after the Tomato Festival debacle” Jill blurted. Tilting her head, she looked them all over. “Well, not to sound skeevy, but I can tell why they might have had a harem. You have a gorgeous family. Point them out to me.” “Oh, uh, that’s…Shin. Shaun. Tony. Nelly. And uh, that’s Koji.” …Koji. Popuri frowned, looking up, “…You know, I think when I was younger, I remember playing with a ‘Koji’.” Jill looked alarmed. What? Before Popuri could question, there was a knock at the front door. She stood, smirking, “Maybe one of your quickly developing harem.” “Oh my God, I am drinking and flirting with multiple men. I am my brothers” Jill gawked. Popuri laughed, heading to answer, “From what you’ve told me, not even close.” Indeed, on the other side was one of Jill’s ‘multiple’ men, Cliff. He frowned, “Hey, Pu. Is Jill okay? I called her for lunch and she sounded awful.” “She’s nursing a bit of a hangover but she’s okay” Popuri explained, waving him inside.

 Cliff looked aggravated, taking off his shoes at the small entry, “I take it Kai got her drunk, huh?” Giving him a look, she huffed, “You need to stop being like that before you mess up, baka. Just go talk to her.” Popuri peeked back into Jill’s room and smiled, “Hey Jill, I’m gonna go check on your animals, okay? Be right back.” “Thank you, Popuri, you’re the best!” Cliff shuffled in around her and Popuri gave him one last warning look. As was, if this kept up, Kai was about to be the lucky one. Cliff had yet to realize that Jill was waiting for his affirmation. While yes, Cliff never specifically told Jill that he was infatuated with Ann, him not turning down her advances at the Goddess Festival while on a date with Jill? It would give a lot of people a skewed perception. There was some reason Kai kept turning Jill down but Popuri had observed it was probably hinging on Cliff. If that door kept dragging, it was going to get replaced.

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 “Hey, buddy. Rough night?” Jill looked up at Cliff, miserable. “Yea…well, a lot of drinking.” He raised a brow, sitting beside her, “Oh? Where’d you go?” “Mm, Shinju in East Wasaba.” Cliff looked quite startled. “Eh? You’d…you’d actually go into Wasaba? I mean, it’s a little sketchy.” “Ha-a-a, yea…” she groaned, leaning back against her pillow, “I actually was thinking when we first got there how my dad expressly forbid it. He’s from there so I figure he’s got good reason but it wasn’t that bad. If we hadn’t gotten drunk beforehand, I probably would have liked to dance and look around.” He tapped his knee and nodded some. “…Yea, it’s a…different sort of place, Wasaba. But, uh, how many drinks did you have?” “Five. It was pretty crazy.” “Oh…that’s all?” “‘That’s all’? Any more and I’d probably die” she sulked. Cliff smiled, rolling his eyes around some, “Nah, it wouldn’t be that serious.” “You sound like my brothers” she sighed gravely. He waved a hand, offering to get her some more broth if she wanted. She nodded, glad that she was able to hold this down. Once he returned, she shyly asked if he wanted to lie around and watch a movie with her. “Yea, I’d like that.” Finishing her food, she curled up on her side and they watched Pirates of the Caribbean. She was pretty involved until she fully realized it was two p.m. There was no actual significance to that time except she realized that most people would be at work. Kai had called and said he’d be over after the shop closed to check on her. She had SOMEHOW managed to get up and water her crops this morning and brush her animals. Popuri came after she fed her family farm’s chickens and collected the eggs. What…did Cliff do? “I can’t believe you’d actually want to come back after last time.” Yagami Jill smiled as they walked through the streets of East Wasaba, much more comfortable this time. “It was fun aside from the drunk part!” Kai snickered, “That was the only part aside from my surprise lap dance.” Smacking his arm, she pouted, “Well, that won’t be happening tonight.” “Dang, not on my birthday though?” After a rather easy day of chores, she decided she was going to go to the beach to actually…beach. When she actually walked the miles of white sand, she was astonished how vacant it was. It was so beautiful! The only people out were a few fishermen and those that did come to frequent Kai’s mini-restaurant. She’d asked if it was private or something and everyone said ‘no’. She got out her black string bikini and went swimming close to where Kai was. He’d grinned lazily when she ran from the surf to get a drink from him. “You seriously are the breath of life this terrible place needed, lady.” “Why do you even come here if you hate it so much?” “One of the few places that’ll let me.” Some of it—some, Jill understood. Due to her rather American attributes, she was characterized as the wild party girl that slept around and drank too much. Granted, she felt lately she was answering that forced calling but did it actually mean anything to what she was? For Kai, it always seemed a little deeper than that though. Around three in the afternoon, she was prepared to order a pizza from him when she overheard him taking a call, apparently from his mom. Jill was able to hear ‘Happy Birthday, baby!’. That jerk had failed to mention it was his birthday today! He had groaned when she demanded what the deal was. ‘It’s not THAT big a deal. I don’t really do anything’.

 Naturally, she wasn’t going to allow that and proclaimed she’d take him to dinner. He’d accepted with some seeming reluctance. Well, it was a little annoying to go to Doug’s since so many people around them whispered. Thus, she decided she’d take him back to East Wasaba for sushi. “I called around to some of my old school pals and asked them where the best place for sushi is and even their bourgeois tastes said this place is awesome!” she tugged Kai as they got close to Umi. He snickered, allowing her to pull him, “If Wensi-kids will go to Wasaba, it must be godly.” Jill stuck out her tongue, “You’re a Wensi-kid. I’m a Subami-ite.” The Yagami Mansion where she was raised almost the entirety of her life was settled in Subami which was labeled the ‘new money’ section of the rich neighborhood. Wensington was the ‘old money’ or the families that had had it for generations. It was all silly stuff. Kai rolled his eyes and smirked, “Oh yes, how ever will I forget that your family had the white limo and we had the 1920s Batman Rolls Royce which Alfred drove us around in?” With a laugh, she was pleased it wasn’t too busy on a Friday. “Hey, we didn’t have limos at all. We’re very picky about our driving, y’know?” The hostess raised a brow at them when Jill asked for a table for two. What? The woman didn’t say much…except did they want a translated menu? Jill frowned, puzzled, “No…we read Japanese.” “Oh. Apologies.” What the hell? Jill made a face as they were seated and Kai opened the menu, “So what car did you drive around then?” “Huh? Oh, my dad got me a red Chevy Camaro convertible. I had always asked for one.” Kai looked shocked, “You mean you weren’t like every other girl I knew in school that would deign to drive that wanted a Benz?” She stuck out her tongue, “No, I did not want a Benz. I wanted my Camaro. But wasn’t that weird?” “You wanting an American muscle car and not a Euro-machine? Very” he smirked. Swatting at him, she pouted, “Not that. The hostess trying to give us a translated menu.” “Babe, nothing like that is ever going to be weird around me.” What? He ordered them a few rolls and some sake. She cringed when she took a drink, “…That is disgusting.” “I forgot you were a Henny girl” he joked, sipping his. Jill frowned, picking up a maki roll and sticking it in her mouth. “…You know, I was talking to Cliff about that night we went out a few weeks ago and told him five drinks were way overboard but he was just like, ‘what? That’s all?’. Maybe I am a lightweight.” Kai gave her a look above the menu he was looking at, “Babe…five drinks? Of like, five full drinks? That is more than enough. Now, if he thought you were just sitting their downing Fuzzy Navels and Malibu with eighty percent orange juice all night, he’d be right, but you had three solid cups of cognac. That is not lightweight shit.” “Maybe I’ll just have one cup of Hennessey and stick to Malibu then” she mused. Kai winked, “Now, now, I haven’t introduced you to Crown Royal yet either.” While she was prepared to pay for dinner, Kai insisted he pick up the tab, joking he was expecting some birthday drinks. It…it was a comfortable relationship. Just some of the nuances he kept mentioning that she didn’t quite…get were troubling.

 The club was a little more packed this time, the heat of the room incredible. Jill fanned herself when she once again sat at the barstool, handing over her card before Kai got any ideas, and asked for two ‘Crown Royal’. Kai smiled and sipped his beverage after the bartender poured the drinks skillfully whilst making three other drinks. “Thanks, babe. You’re pretty awesome, y’know?” “Because I bought you a drink?” she joked. “Nah, not just that.” She blinked at him as he swirled his cup, seeming to be in thought. “You know, we should dance this time.” “O-Oh, I might not be good at it.” “I’ll show you” he grinned, taking her hand. The night was perfect. She never got to dance with any guys. Sure, her two sort of prior boyfriends attended concerts with her, but she doubted either of them would dance. Kai was pretty good at it too. “I didn’t get the dancing gene! My brothers are great at it though!” Kai laughed, “Man, your brothers sound like a weird crowd! I did hear about their parties though!” Ah yes, Koji and Nelly’s house parties were apparently something of legend in the valley of Subami, Wensington, and surrounding areas. She glanced at her watch and groaned, “Hey, if we want to make the last ferry, we have to go soon!” He nodded in agreement and she went to close her tab out, pleased they only finished four drinks between them this time. The drinks were ‘fun’ but not necessary. Holding his hand as they exited the club, out of the corner of her eye she saw two guys smoking cigarettes give them hard looks. What? Her heart sped up a bit as they appeared to start to follow them. “Oi, what’s a doujin doing around here?” What? Doujin? Kai groaned. Jill was confused, wasn’t that a fan manga? She yelped when one of the guys managed to get in front of Kai and grab his shirt. Kai looked aggravated, “Bro, we’re leaving. I’d like to ask that you stand a doujin’s presence for the next five seconds as we’re getting out of here.” Wait…dou meant ‘dirty’ and jin meant ‘man’ but…that would mean… Jill slapped the bastard’s hands away from Kai’s shirt, angry. “Get away from him! We’re minding our business so learn to mind yours, you piece of shit!” “Jill-l-l” Kai sang nervously. “And you’re just the slut fucking hanging around him!” spat the guy, starting on her. Kai quickly pushed her behind him and she squealed when he got whacked hard in the face, knocking him to the ground. “Kai!” Once. Just once she had swung on and punched someone in high school. She was not an expert by any means but, ugh, she guessed she knew a little bit as a certain someone’s sister. It hurt like hell but she punched the guy in the nose.

 Hissing and holding her hand, unsure how Koji did that on a daily basis now, she was horrified when the guy looked absolutely livid. Oh no. She’d…she’d put them in more danger.

 “W-Wait, Taki!” Jill glanced over her shoulder, trembling as the other guy…suddenly looked petrified. “Dude, dude, I knew I recognized her! That’s Yagami Koji’s sister!” What? Like night and day, the assaulter suddenly looked like she had run up and stabbed him. “W-What?” Without warning, they both started bowing and spitting out apologies, “P-Please don’t tell your brother, w-we won’t ever bother you or your friend again!” Jill silently watched the two bolt off like Koji was going to emerge from a corner and destroy them. She found herself looking over her shoulder to actually make sure he wouldn’t. Kai staggered to his feet, holding his jaw. “…Man, that was crazy. Your brother must be pretty tough shit.” “I…I guess…” It was still insane his violent reputation preceded him this much. She supposed this was what he always wanted though. She bit her lip, finding Kai’s face was already swelling, “I-I’m sorry. When I realized what he meant, I-I got angry.” “Well…that’s nice” he said softly, rubbing his cheek, “I lost that somewhere.” Grimacing, she slipped her hand in his and pulled him toward the ferry station. “Let’s get you home to an ice pack and some cake. A-And maybe that lap dance since I almost got your ass kicked.” Kai laughed, shaking his head, “Not even close to necessary, Jill. Like I told you…nothing is abnormal around me.” …That was not a nuance she wanted to understand.

 _____________________________________________________________________

Izumi Cliff made a face as he wandered across the beach, looking around. This was unusual and unwanted: Kai summoned him. Doug had given him the note requesting that he come meet Kai at noon when Cliff woke up at around ten. Okay. Doug told him to be wary, that this wasn’t normal. No, it wasn’t. But he’d answer the call because the only thing he and Kai had to talk about, as far as Cliff was concerned? Jill.

 Walking up to the little beach shop, he found Kai turned toward a counter, chopping what smelled, from afar, like pineapple. Cliff cleared his throat, sitting at the counter. “I got your message.” Kai looked over his shoulder, raising a brow. “…Dude, what do you do? I wish I could wake up at eleven o’clock.” Cliff’s eyes narrowed, “Kai--” “Sorry, of course you could have been doing something else” Kai waved a hand, wiping his hands as he turned around, “Look, I’m going to be straightforward because I don’t want to mince words with you: what the hell are you doing?” “I beg your pardon?” Kai scowled, “Jill. Jill is waiting for you and you’re taking your sweet ass time.” What…? “Waiting for me?” he echoed, “Waiting for me to do what?” “So you don’t have feelings for her?” He flustered, twiddling his fingers. “W-Why? Did she put you up to this?” “No. I put myself up to this and I really don’t want to.” Cliff raised a brow as Kai started tossing dough, drawling, “This might strike you as surprising, given how you and the local cronies look down on my kind—” “Wait, wait, what? ‘Your kind’?” Cliff demanded, leaning back.

“Yea, ‘my kind’. You know, doujin.” To say he was flabbergasted would be an understatement, Cliff was so shocked. “You think I’m racist?” Kai blinked languidly at him to denote that yes, he very much did. “Dude! I-I’m not racist. I’m mixed too!” “Oh, oh, yes, like a quarter American and primarily Japanese. Tell me, does that mixture cause an existential difference in your skintone?” Kai scoffed. …Well… “Fine, it doesn’t but I’m not racist just because I don’t like you!” Kai was steadily working through this awkward conversation while Cliff was entirely unnerved. The man pinched the dough to form the crust, not looking up. “So why don’t you like me then? I mean, prior to Jill.” Cliff’s mind went into overload, prepared to list off reasons. ‘Doug said you slept with so-and-so’s wife’ and ‘Jeff said that Sasha said you were flirting with her’.

 …But that was all hearsay. He literally pulled a stupid prank with Jill to switch innocent flags from one place to another just because he knew how these people loved to accumulate rumors and loved the fodder. Just…

 Nervous, he felt his reasoning falter. “I…I guess I…was influenced by other people.” “Good insight, Sherlock, I’m almost impressed” Kai snorted, mixing sauce in a bowl, “So, let’s break it down. There have been plenty of men that came in here and have actually committed the acts charged against me and there was not nearly the uproar. In fact, it was confirmed that Basil and Sasha had a brief affair and he’s absolute gold! So, suddenly, this rather strange complexioned man comes in and smiles politely at a woman and I’m instantly fucking the whole town. Suddenly, they don’t like ‘my kind’ around here.” Kai smiled, taking a sip of juice and tilting the cup at him in a gesture, “But, business is good because of those ladies I’m supposedly banging.” Cliff stared as Kai started sprinkling cheese, humming. Oh.

“…I…I don’t want to think it’s anything like that, Kai--” “Of course not. It makes you uncomfortable to think you’re in a town of racists since you’re not racist.” Cliff groaned, rubbing his face. “Kai, I promise and swear to you that I not once looked at your complexion and thought ‘you can’t trust that guy’ because of that. However, I am going to apologize because I was taking the word of biased guys to judge you. Since you seem so aware of my ‘fractions’, you may be aware of why adultery and promiscuity may irk me the wrong way.” Kai’s eyebrows furrowed, picking up a stack of pepperoni, “…Well, I’ve heard things, definitely.” Yea. “Either way, Cliff, I will accept your apology if you’ll grow a pair and tell Jill you like her.” Back to this. Cliff rolled his eyes, tapping the counter, “…I do like Jill, Kai, but I get this growing suspicion she’s starting to like you more.” Sliding the pizza into an oven behind him, Kai snorted, “Cliff, she still thinks you like Ann so she’s distancing herself out of respect for you and what you want. However, she very much wants you to tell her you like her more.” Cliff bit his lip and folded his hands, “I-I do like Jill a lot. Like-like she’s unlike anyone I’ve met before and-and I guess I do notice she seems interested in me.” “So?” … “Still though, she’s kissing you, she’s going on dates with you—look, I know you guys decided to be friends but she seems just as likely to choose you too.” The man fell quiet for a long few moments and Cliff expected he wasn’t going to answer. Why? Honestly, if Cliff was in competition with someone over a girl’s affections and he was where Kai was in standing, he would never just walk away. It didn’t make sense. Kai rubbed his hands together and leaned against the refrigerator in the open kitchenette in the beachside shop. Finally, he cleared his throat, almost like he’d gotten choked up on silence. “She’d suffer with me.” “What? What do you mean?” “I mean that I just told you that these guys just looked at me and decided I was bad news. That’s not just here, Cliff—it’s everywhere. Jill and I went out for my birthday and almost got jumped by two guys questioning why a ‘doujin’ was hanging around. I didn’t even know them. I can’t--…I can’t do that to her, okay?” …Shit. “Kai, you can’t deny your feelings for a bunch of ignorant morons like that” Cliff insisted, shocked how this shifted. Not ten minutes ago, he was ready to sock Kai in the eye and now he was encouraging him to like the girl he liked. “Jill…was literally the first person unrelated to me that, when she saw me, it wasn’t confusion or judgment for what I am. She doesn’t care and she even got angry for me that night, busted that guy in the face, fought for me—she wants to do things with me in the open, she wants to hang out with me at all. She’s comfortable and I am becoming too comfortable with her. I’ve started to think ‘but what if’ and that’s a mistake.” Cliff frowned as Kai pursed his lips, glancing off, “…We can move somewhere where we’d be accepted but you hear the way she talks about her family—she’d fall apart and I won’t be the cause of that. But we can’t be together here.” “Kai-” “That shit being said, that’s not to say with a hundred percent certainty I wouldn’t.” Eh? Kai glared, “If I watch you mess around any longer and act the way you’re acting with her—all wishy-washy and like you’re not gonna cherish the hell out of her—I will gladly come back to this crap island and convince her to come with me. She should only have the best and if you think you can’t provide, it might just be worth it for me to get over my anxiety and take that plunge. But I’m giving you the opportunity because I think life might treat her better with…your kind.” “…You really sure about that?” Cliff muttered. Laughing darkly, Kai gestured for a ‘time out’, “Now, if you’ve got some messy shit I don’t know anything about then you leave her alone too. I’ve noticed some things and know of some things, like I said, but you can get your act together.” …Right. “Kai, I’ll be honest, man, I don’t really like this reason you’re not actively pursuing Jill but I’ll be more honest and tell you I-I think I do want the chance.” “Only a fool wouldn’t” Kai nodded. Yea. “Well, this was a very insightful talk. I feel like garbage but I probably should” Cliff grimaced. Kai just blinked at him languidly. Right, what was he looking for there? ‘It’s okay’? It wasn’t. Two years of judgment was based on Cliff taking the words of people he always took with a grain of salt. A little part of him should ask why but…he knew. He guessed he had dad to thank for that. He frowned, looking up when Nakajima Karen and Yamachi Rick wandered onto the beach. Karen was wearing a bikini but Rick was still wearing a green turtleneck and slacks. It was boiling out here. Karen wandered over after setting up the towel and nodded at him before ordering French fries. Kai nodded, “Coming right up.” Cliff felt obligated to buy something too, perhaps out of guilt. About to ask what was good, his eyes widened when Rick pretty much ran to and grabbed Karen to jerk her away. “What did I tell you about buying from this guy?” “That you don’t want me buying from this guy and it’s your stupid ass fault for thinking I care” Karen snorted, snatching her arm from him, “Pull yourself together, Rick.” Rick weirdly had almost orange hair, kind of like Ann’s. Cliff had asked Popuri if they were related and she shrugged that they might have been related somewhere on their dad’s side. By most accounts, Rick would have been classified as a ‘nerd’-type in fiction. Somehow, he managed to get Karen interested enough to date him and they’d been going steady ever since Cliff moved here permanently. Just he wouldn’t figure he’d put his hands on her like that. Now allied, both he and Kai gave Rick a hard look. Rick visibly swallowed before backing off, marching completely off the beach. Karen rolled her eyes and shook her head. Kai gave her a look, “I think you ought have knocked him ten ways to Sunday like I know you can.” “I should have” she agreed softly, “I don’t know what his problem is lately. He’s been getting really grabby and commanding.” Cliff glowered, “Meaning you break up with his ass. Maybe the real habits are just starting to surface but you don’t need to be there for that.” Kai nodded simply and Karen sighed, taking the basket of fries and adding a bit of ketchup. “I can. But it’d be the absolute talk of the town and I don’t feel like it.” “You killing him would be the talk of the town too” Kai smirked. Her brows rose at that but in apparent agreement before cutting her eyes toward Cliff… “You two don’t usually hang out, what is this?” “Hopefully a resolution” Cliff groaned. “Apparently I have made a bad impression of myself.” Kai snorted again. “Yea, something like that. And we’re talking about Jill.” Karen nodded, eating her food quietly before muttering, “…She’s going to change a lot around here, y’know? Really shake this crap town up. I hope she can make it.” What? Cliff frowned at that and Kai cleaned a glass, tilting his head. Well, she was definitely the most different person to come here since he’d moved in. Just…that was a lot to ask of her, wasn’t it? And…and now he had to let her know he was interested and convince her that Ann was growing to be this fleeting idea in comparison.

 Time to try to amend another impression.

 _____________________________________________________________________

  Izumi Cliff stuffed his hands in his pockets as he shuffled to the front door of the old farmhouse. Here goes.

 He’d come by earlier, heart racing and his palms slick with sweat. She had apparently just finished her farm work when she answered, her hair still damp from her shower. She looked distraught. “Cliff, oh my God, I almost got Kai beat up. It was awful.” “Yea, he told me. It’s a brave thing you did and I don’t think he minds a bit.”

 “Brave? I don’t think so at all.” His dad said that when he was growing up, due to his social status, people would talk about his mixed heritage behind his back. And Cliff did get looks but that…was about it. He had very few issues in regard to that. So, for Jill to hit a bigot in the face when they seemed to have had similar experiences? He found it incredibly brave. Jill just grimaced, “Brave makes me sound like a hero; I just was angry.”

 “…I guess I didn’t really think about it. I mean, I never really thought about what it may mean for others not to like him.” “I didn’t exactly either but I did find it suspicious. I…I mean, my brothers mentioned they got a lot of backhanded comments about ‘race’ but, well, y’know what chased the guys off last night? One of them realized who my brother was and it was a wonder they didn’t pee themselves. My brothers probably beat the hell out of those guys. I’ve been…protected.” Yea, he wouldn’t have necessarily considered that a bad thing. Once. “Well, hey, uh, we missed our birthdays so maybe all four of us can go out to celebrate and make it better.” That was how the whole conversation got sidetracked. She seemed confused, asking when his birthday was. July 7th. It was already a month later. Jill had been aghast, “Why didn’t you say anything?!” “Uh, I…I just usually don’t make a big deal of it.” Jill kicked him out and told him to come back at eight. Now, suddenly, he was having a dinner prepared for him. This…this could be a good moment.

 Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door to the house. Here goes. “Door’s open! Come in!” Cliff turned the doorknob to enter and was surprised to find her in the kitchen, wearing a rather ruffly pink apron over a red corset top and black hip huggers. He raised an eyebrow and walked over to her. Flour was on her nose and he smiled some.

 “Hey. Uh, how’s dinner going?”

 “I just put your cake in the fridge” she said proudly.

 “Oh? You made me a cake? You didn’t have to go through all that trouble…”

 “It was fun” she admitted happily, “I didn’t get to bake a whole lot, that was my brother’s domain.” Somehow, based simply on what she’d told him, that seemed a little surprising. “Your brothers, the hardcore drinking, brawling twins, bakers?” Jill laughed, taking off her apron, “Koji, Nelly, and Shin are great cooks! They had to take care of us younger kids so much, they had to get good at it.” Cliff followed her to the living room, nodding, “Yea, I know the feeling. Where’s Pu?”

 “I invited her but she said she had something to do tonight. And I had made an invitation to Kai but he said his mom was coming to visit.”

 Yea, those were all very convenient excuses. “So guess it’ll just be us then.” “Seems so” Jill smiled, “Don’t worry, I’ll try to be good company by myself.” Eep. “O-Oh, I-I didn’t mean it to sound like that--”

 She giggled, seeming unbothered, “I know, it’s just weird to have a one on one birthday party, I’m sure.”

If you weren’t dating, probably so. She sat him down at the table, going back into the kitchen and returning with curry rice, his absolute favorite. “Aww, Jill, this…this is nice, thanks. I haven’t had any homemade since I left home.” He tasted it and it…it was perfect. Jill looked pleased, “I’m glad. I did have to call Koji a few times on that one, he is the curry master but he talked me through it.” Cliff spooned a bit into his mouth, blissful. “I love it.”

 She looked happy as he finished about two servings, nibbling at her small plate of the recipe. He questioned if she made it and hadn’t liked it. He’d feel terrible if she made it just for him. “Oh, I like curry but, funny thing is, we had so much of it growing up, I just got a teeny bit sick of it. Koji teased me about even asking how to make it.” “Ah” he smiled, wiping his lips, “Well, I appreciate it then. That was the perfect birthday treat.” She gasped, “Oh yea, your cake!”

 Running off, she returned with the round, slightly misshapen cake with chocolate frosting. He stared at it as she cut it and grinned. “You sure this won’t kill me?”

 She gasped, “Cliff! I worked a long time on this cake!”

 He smiled, “I’m kidding, Jill, I’m sure it’s delicious.”

 She pouted and took a bite from her slice before squealing and covering her mouth. He stared at her, surprised.

 “What’s wrong?”

 “It’s SO sweet!” she sobbed, “My teeth are going to rot out!”

 “Did you follow the recipe?”

 “Y-yes…sorta.”

 “Sorta…?” he questioned slowly.

 “Well, I thought that one cup of sugar wasn’t enough—”

 He couldn’t help but laugh and took a bite himself. He almost instantly felt his blood sugar rise. “Well, it’s still good.”

 “Don’t eat that, your teeth are going to rot out” she pouted, taking it from him.

 Making a face, he scooped it off the plate and crammed it into his mouth to her very poignant horror. What? Cake was supposed to be sweet. He chomped and gave her a smile as she looked very sulky. “You’re a dork.” “I’z muh birthday cake.”

 “You must be a sugar fiend” she smirked, putting her slice back. “So not only are you gonna get cavities, your gift is late.”

 “Meh, why on Earth are you getting a gift shipped for me? Silly…” he scoffed.

 “Because!”

 Cliff stared down at her, her face bright and sultry. She was really cute and…and he didn’t want to mess this up again. He had a penchant for that. He smiled when she offered to pour them a glass of wine. “Sounds awesome. But first…”

 He wandered over and knelt in front of her stereo. She looked up from popping the cork on what looked like a bottle from Aja Winery, blinking. “What are you doing?”

 “Mm, looking for a song.”

 He frowned before smiling and putting a CD in. She raised an eyebrow and he stood, waving her over. A soft guitar solo came on as she walked over, looking puzzled. She gasped a little when he wrapped his arms around her waist.

 “What are--”

 “Mm, well, our last dance was interrupted…and this…this would make my night” he murmured gently.

 She swallowed and blushed before slowly nodding and wrapping her arms around his neck, closing her eyes as she relaxed against him.

 She seems dressed in all of me; Stretched across my shame. All the torment and the pain

leaked through and covered me. I’d do anything to have her to myself; just to have her for myself. Now I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do…when she makes me sad. She is everything to me: The unrequited dream; The song that no one sings; The unattainable. She’s a myth that I have to believe in. All I need to make it real is one more reason. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do…when she makes me sad…

 But I won’t let this build up inside of me. I won’t let this build up inside of me.

 He bit his lip, words getting caught on the tip of his tongue. C’mon, Cliff, a really valid contender had given you this opportunity.

 A catch in my throat, choke; Torn into pieces. I won’t, no, I don’t want to be this. But I won’t let this build up inside of me…

 Cliff felt their hearts flutter as she looked up at him. She pushed herself flush against his chest, timidly kissing his lips. He returned the kiss perhaps confidently because underneath he was a nervous wreck, full of question. Did…did this mean she chose him? She…she did kiss Kai as well.

 He trembled as she nipped at his neck, getting a little excited about the possibility. No, no, Cliff, first thing’s first. “U-Uh, Jill?” “Hmm?” “What…what do you think of me—or, I should say…us?”

She pulled away, a startled look on her face. “What? Us?” It…was a very sickening feeling but something had developed that would make him feel remiss not to mention it at all. “I-I would be interested in there being an ‘us’, Jill. I-I know I faltered with Ann at the festival but I’m much more interested in you. You’re…you’re already special to me. It’s different.” “O-Oh” she whispered, her cheeks pinkening. Ugh, but… “But I…I spoke with Kai today, Jill, and I-I genuinely believe he likes you too, okay? I can…I can very much tell you’re special to him too. And he’s been a lot more forward than I have with you. He just…has some hang ups and I don’t think any person should feel like they need to lose out because of some of the issues he has. I-I want to be with you but, if I can be so selfish, I’d like to ask that you think of us both.” Jill stared before swallowing, nodding, “T-That’s a fair request. I’d…I’d probably have asked the same.”

He smiled but he didn’t feel it whatsoever. As far as he knew, he might have just lost what may possibly be the best thing to happen to him by ‘submission’. Just…he didn’t want Jill to see him as the only option because Kai was rightfully concerned. It was an odd sentiment but he just wanted to be sure for multiple people’s sake.

 “Well, I should be getting home…” he replied.

 “Al-all right…I’ll see you tomorrow?” she murmured.

 He nodded and she opened the door for him before closing it behind him He lingered to lean against it, his mind spinning. What had he done? Had he done the right thing? Why was this a game of selflessness?

 ‘Here goes’, Cliff thought weakly, wandering back to the inn and hoping Doug had one more drink in him...

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  Yagami Jill walked toward the beach house, hugging herself against a cooler breeze. Summer was ending soon, surprisingly. It’d…been an interesting season. Knocking on the door of the white rental Kai maintained while he was here, she took a deep breath. Okay, here goes.

 Her first adult…something answered, his curly hair tousled over his bandana, wearing his shorts and a t-shirt. “Hey, girly.” “Hey…you busy?” “For you? Nah. Come in. Don’t mind the mess, I’m starting to pack.” Eh? Jill’s eyes widened as, indeed, duffel bags and suitcases were strewn across the floor and stacks of folded clothing where on the small wicker couch. “E-Eh? You’re leaving?” “Yep, when Summer ends here, I go to another Summer place and open up shop there” Kai explained, dropping some sneakers into a black bag. Oh…oh yea, he did mention something like that once. “O-Oh. Y-You’re leaving tonight?” “Two days. The 28th so I can get back to Wensi for my dad’s birthday then head to Nassau. Oh man, I think you’d love it there though. Have you been?” She shook her head to the negative and Kai gushed, “Oh, you have to check it out some time. The Bahamas are just so comfy.” “…Is that an invite?” Kai paused, having been zipping the shoe bag. He slowly looked up at her from where he was crouching before he smiled. “…Could be. How was dinner with you and pretty boy?” “…Informative” she drawled, sitting on the couch as he resumed sorting, “He told me he wanted us to be a thing, if I’m okay with that.”

Kai nodded, not looking at her, “Figured it’d go that direction. What did you tell him?” “Well, it’s more so what he told me.” “Hmm?” Crossing her arms, she gave him a look. She…was torn, really. Just honest to God torn. Cliff had been such a good friend and confidant in the beginning of this new trial. Kai just…he felt comfortable and friendly too. It…it was very complicated. Suddenly, he groaned, “Did he tell you to consider me too?” “Yea.” “Idiot!” Kai scoffed, his nose wrinkling, “Give a guy the chance and now he wants to be chivalrous! Gets on my damn nerves.” Jill pouted as Kai threw the flap over a bag before staring off into space. He was silent for several long moments before standing up and settling beside her. “I think we’d be good together, Jill. I think you’d be everything I’m looking for. Just, it wouldn’t be good for you.” “Because you’re mixed” she glowered, irritated. “That’s one reason, Jill. I mean, it’s not even slightly a good reason. It’s worked for my mom and dad really well, people got over the bias of them specifically. That could be the same thing for us, I know. Just…there’s other things.” “Like?” she hedged, leaning over to look into his face. “I’m not looking to settle down just yet, Jill. I’m not looking for…structure. I don’t want a house just yet or-or foundation. I just want to do my thing for now.” What? Jill pursed her lips, “Kai, I told you, I had no plans. That’s how I ended up here in the first place. Your plan is more of a plan than I have. I could be down for traveling.” Kai smiled at her, “Jill, I’m talking thousands of miles. Miles and miles of water, miles and miles of land—different time zones. And every day we’ve spoken while I’ve been here, you’ve never not once talked about your brothers.” …Oh. She gaped softly as Kai shrugged, “I love my family too, Jill, but the bond I sense from you and yours? It’s different. You may be able to put up with it for a little while but imagine being twelve hours or a day or two away? I think maybe one day you’ll be cool with it but right now? I think you’d regret losing that closeness.” Biting her lip, she rubbed her arm. Right, all…they had were each other, she’d felt that her whole life. “I-I never quite considered that.” “That’s why I did for you” he grinned before appearing somber, “…Date Cliff. That’s the way it was heading before I became a distraction anyway. He’s not a bad guy.” “No…” Kai kissed her temple, murmuring against her skin, “And hey, if it doesn’t work out with him, I’ll be back. We can always revisit.” Jill smirked, tapping him, “You’ll meet a girl out in your travels that’s perfect for you. I’ll just be a distant memory and a stranger by the time you come back.” He smiled warmly at her, his honey brown eyes full of affection, “Nah, never that.” She frowned as he stood, stretching, “Who knows though? You might have a few kids by the time I get back.” “That will not occur” Jill assured, standing as well, “…I do really like Cliff. Like, a lot.” “Your kids would be the super blond” Kai teased. Swatting at him, she smiled and shook her head. “We’ll see. For now, take a walk with me down the beach?” “Of course.” She hugged his waist as they shuffled down the cooling sands, feeling bittersweet that this was coming to an end. She spoke with Popuri earlier and she advised that the Fireworks Festival was at the end of the month. Jill would ask Cliff to that and make damn sure. If Ann popped up there, she’d be pissed.

 Some small part of her was nervous that Ann may be the least of her concerns.

 Kai suddenly squeezed her a little tighter, interrupting her thoughts. She looked up briefly in confusion before following his eyes. A little ways off, near the entrance, was…Rick? He was somewhat looking in their direction and there was not one sign of Karen or anyone he’d usually be with.

“…Jill, seriously, babe, just be careful around him, okay?” “…Of course.” Sounded paranoid but sure. Kai looked in Rick’s direction for a moment before pursing his lips. “…I’m second guessing.” “Hmm?” “…No, no, never mind. I know you’ll be safe” he murmured more to himself than her. Okay, what? She never got the chance to ask him as he requested they go get one last bourbon before he left. They ordered a couple rounds at Doug’s who was side-eying them but didn’t say anything. This was the sort of town she was in, huh? Full of suspicious people filled with false mistrust. If she wasn’t to look out for Duke, she was to look out for Ann. If not Ann, beware of Zach. Also, keep a strong eye on Rick.

 She’d been here for half a year and now, more than ever, she wasn’t sure what she got herself into.

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End Notes: Spoilers and mostly for anyone that’s read the old version or any of the series: So, let me just say, this could have been a disaster. Because, as I was writing for Kai, I really started to like the idea of Kai and Jill together. As I mused over it, the idea became more and more palpable and I was wondering how I could reformulate the entire damn series. The very idea would make every edge of everything I wrote change. But I sure as hell considered it. ‘Three, six, nine’ is the iconic numbers of a childhood classic we had no business listening to. “Get Low” by Lil Jon and the Eastside Boyz with the Ying Yang Twins. Lol, good times.

 ‘She seems dressed in all of me’ is Vermillion, Part 2 by the rock group Slipknot. Yasss, Slipknot.