#and also last time i did anything there i was. a gIrl

[writella]

Here He Is, Finally

Synopsis: “When’s it gonna be my turn? Open me up, tell me you like it, fuck me to death, love me until I love myself—” This is a story about the inner struggles of a desiring Daryl who just wants to be free of the perceptions the town, and his own mind, have put on him, so he can love you and love himself, in the ways he’s always wanted to.

—or: As Daryl becomes the talk of the town, insecurity sets in that hinders him from having sex with you— the thing you most want to do.

Details: Daryl Dixon x fem!reader, ambiguous age gap, mixing early seasons’ + later seasons’ personality of Daryl, the town being mean but also thinking Daryl’s hot because he is, discussions of gossiping, insecurity, and poor self-image, Daryl fights someone :), and smut— unprotected + he’s nervous but then it gets good, and it’s their/Daryl’s/your first time in whatever way you want it to be.

A/N: He’s literally me (I’m a girl).

— With love from writella. ♡

There it was. You finally said it. You told Daryl that you were ready to have sex.

When you told him, the two of you were having a quiet morning and he was about to leave. Pulling yourself up to his height, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, and he took you by the waist, one hand reached up to hold your head, rubbing his thumb there. Good, you had thought, he’s reciprocating. That let you know he was okay, but still, underneath, you knew he was embarrassed about last night. You weren’t going to bring it up though, not then. You wanted to move forward, to show him that you didn’t care. “Daryl,” you started, words slow, uneasy in voice but sure in intention, as you whispered to him from above his shoulder, “I just wanted to tell you– that– I feel like I’m ready.” You paused for a moment. “And whatever you feel, I’m okay with it. Just talk to me.” As silence ensued, you kissed him on the cheek, “I love you,” you said, and pulled back.

Daryl kept his hands in yours as he looked at you. His features were sad and soft as much as they were unreadable. He kissed you on the forehead. “I love you too,” he said– it wasn’t the first time you two had exchanged those words– and then he left. Just like that.

You had no expectation for how he would react. You only knew he wouldn’t give you a flat-out no, so this, was understandable. But still, there was something hollow about it, even if his kiss and words were tender. It was another relationship moment that reminded you that these things never happen as they do in fairytale romances.

You see, you had always pictured him or whoever you were with at the time, bringing you close, kissing you, their fingers trailing down and under the hem of your skirt or pants, asking you if you were ready, if you were sure, if you wanted them to go slow, slower, but Daryl— as it turns—was incredibly pure, or at least pretending to be. Either too nervous or sensitive about these things, possibly inexperienced, or much more innocent with his intentions than you ever expected. It’s like you knew Daryl like the back of your hand, but when it came to anything about you as a couple, his history, who he’s dated before– you were clueless. You didn’t know what it could be.

One thing you did suspect, although Daryl has never told you, is that he thought of you as precious, something to be delicate with, like a flower. Sometimes you’d tell him he didn’t have to be so slow or soft when you were kissing– he was always a little sloppy anyway– and whenever there was a task to get done you’d be the first to tell anyone you could do it yourself, he knew this about you. And it’s not like he babies you or anything, that was never his way. Like when you two were fighting walkers, or doing work around the communities, or when he’s teaching you how to do something. You’ve even told him that he could be a bit demanding sometimes, grouchy, rough, and he agreed– that was true. He didn’t do it on purpose, the whole being hard on you thing. But alone? When he was on top of you or you over him? Waking up to you? Feeling your hand reach for his own in the dark? Even just eating dinner with you? The guy was a mess! A little boy, even. Heart racing. Eyes averted at times.

Whenever he nipped you, on the lips, or the neck, maybe he pushed you on the bed too hard, grabbed your waist too tight that it squeezed the bone, there were always silent apologizes of gentle circles, sweet kisses, and tongue licks to soothe the pain or possible bruises he left on you. And sometimes, when you’re home alone or you shower together, and he starts to kiss you or pull you in by the waist, he almost always sets out with the intention that this time he’d finally do it— the sex thing— he always wanted to. Only if you knew! Honestly, he’d feel like such a pervert if he let you know how many times, both before and after you got together, that he’s thought of being inside you, or you on your knees for him, or him kissing up your thighs and tasting you– he genuinely thinks he’d really like it, all of it, but especially that. But every time you’ve kissed and kissed enough, he’d get too overwhelmed about how to proceed or too nervous to even try. He tells you that you two should shower or go to bed or that he has to go for whatever reason. So all you’ve done is grind on each other, a lot, but that’s about it. You know he’s gotten hard and you’ve gotten wet, but you’re not sure if he’s ever noticed. He wants to put his hands in your pants, he wants to rip your blouse, he wants to squeeze your tits and slap your ass, but every time he thinks about actually doing it, he feels it's too forward or raunchy, or maybe it's not actually like him in the way he’s pictured in his head, or maybe you’d hate it, and specifically the way he did it. And he has thought about doing it slowly, romantically, but every time he thinks about doing that, he feels stupid, thinking he’ll come off as clumsy and pathetic to you. He doesn’t exactly get the concept of slow and sexy yet— reaching up, breathing you in, letting his fingers linger, or hands caress and massage. It’s not that he couldn’t do it though, or so he thinks, if he really tries; it's that doesn’t even think he’s sexy to begin with.

The only thing Daryl knows for sure are the things people call him when they think he’s not listening.

“Deep and… grunty,” one much too young girl said to her equally young friend who giggled, indicating her agreement even if she was too afraid to verbalize it. “I just like his voice,” the first girl said, “it’s sexy.” Or, “Wild,” as one of Aaron’s friends whispered to him, “Like he could throw me around, do it in front of the whole town, and wouldn’t care who saw.” To which Aaron scoffed and replied, “That’s literally my fucking friend.” But in truth, it’s not like he hadn’t thought about it himself, how Daryl looked underneath his vest and button-downs– it was just once though!– he promises!– as if he needed to explain it to himself. He even told his husband about it; they had agreed on Daryl’s attractiveness. Eric called it “rugged,” and they laughed about it over dinner. Now, Aaron would repeat that word as he overheard another group of ladies discussing ways to describe or trademark some of the male leaders in town. As Aaron passed by, “rugged,” was his suggested alternative to the word “beast” when one older lady described Daryl, in a way that would make anyone not a part of the conversation cringe, “Beast, sexy armed beast.” But Aaron was only met with silence and weird hums until a girl replied that “sexy armed rugged,” doesn’t make any sense. To that, all the ladies agreed. As Aaron walked away, wanting nothing more with this kind of conversation about his friends, he caught the new suggestion: “Daddy,” a girl had said with the widest smile on her face— she wasn’t a teenager, but it was obviously her first time being vocal about these things. She must have felt she said something so salacious. And as much as Aaron wanted to gag, there was also a part of him that reluctantly stopped himself from laughing and blushing with the rest of the woman. One of them rolled her eyes saying, “They can’t all be daddy,” to which another girl said, “But they kind of are!” and then he was too far away to hear anymore.

Daryl didn’t get any of it.

The only ones that truly bothered him though were when they added, “I know he’s a little ugly but,” or “I know he’s not my type but,” or “I know he looks a little dirty but,” “And he never does his hair but,” “And he’s not like the smartest but,” but, but, but—

It all made him feel bad about himself; more confused.

Even when it was just generally flattering, he found it hard to take any of it as a compliment. Sometimes he would, maybe the whispers of him being “kinda hot,” on the days when he’d return to his cut-off sleeved shirts, or maybe those moments when a lady would be talking to her friend saying how he’s “handsome,” or how she just knows “he’s packing–big–” and what’s better than a big dick, right? At least that is what Daryl thought– it's the bit of Merle in him– and he bets Negan wished he had one— Daryl was pretty sure Negan’s is a tiny little bitch just like his personality. No one gets to kill one of his best friends and gets more than a three-incher. Right, J.C.? If you’re even up there? Not that Daryl would mind if you were or weren’t, or cares if you did, he wouldn’t mind– Daryl didn’t think about religion that much anymore. And on that note, he realizes that he doesn’t do a lot of the same things he used to anymore. Like the way he would walk around without a care, even confidently sometimes, not thinking about how much he swung his arms or the way he talked or the way his hair fell that day. There was this one time, as he was walking over to Rick in the garden, telling him he couldn’t find whatever particular tools Rick wanted, he yelled, “They ain’t there no more, Rick!” that he heard some older guy say to his friend that Daryl sounded like a “human gremlin,” to which the friend tried to one-up him by saying, “more like a garbage disposal.” Then another day, some girl said he looks like a “wet rat sometimes,” especially when his hair is flat or, as said in the phrase, wet; and he never forgot it, either of them or anything anyone has ever said about him. It’s always been like this. Even when he was a kid.

Daryl tries to remember that people have just gotten too comfortable now that Alexandria is back on track, at least that’s basically what you had said. One day, Daryl came into your room, huffing and throwing himself on your desk chair, saying, “Some people don’t know how to keep their mouths shut.” To which you had asked him what was wrong, but he shook his head.

“Well,” you begin, responding to his un-answer, “some gossip is misogynized. It used to be a way for women to spread information, but–” you avoid the lecture— “I get what you mean.” You look at him, seeing the way his eyes still drift. “I can’t tell you everything, but Rosita and I had heard some people speculate on the whole her and Saddiq and Gabriel thing.” You shook your head, your eyes rolling a little, “It made her upset. I could tell. But it took her a while to talk about it. I think some people forget they can talk behind closed doors now. Our porches aren’t as private as they used to be, and people have gotten mean.” To that, you both nodded in agreement and then you climbed toward the edge of your bed to hold his hand. Something was obviously wrong. “Has anyone said anything about you?”

Again, he shakes his head and you have to leave it at that— all he wanted to do was ask questions about you now, and he wouldn’t let you change the subject.

But at home, alone, he stares at the mirror, trying to see what other people see: handsome, rugged, possibly wild… but all he saw were things he didn’t l understand, things that made him feel he wasn’t good enough. Did they really think he was attractive? And if so, why did they always have to bring up that there was something completely unattractive about him before the compliment? And why were those remarks always easier to believe? Or was it all just some weird fantasy they felt dirty about having? And was being rude behind his back was some sort of justification for it? Was it all of them above? Most importantly, did you think any of this?

Next Saturday, a week after you told him you were ready, the town gathered in the church during the evening for the monthly communal meal. This was something that started during the rehabilitation of Alexandria, another thing that the population was getting too big to contain, but Rick and Judith liked it. So, Michonne agreed to keep it— for now— despite reasoning that “this is what holidays are for, Rick.”

It was about an hour in, 6pm and sunset now past. Some people who had been busy working were still filing in, little by little, but for the most part, a majority of citizens were seated, eating, and chatting. There was a steady rain outside that made everything smell fresh, and if it wasn’t for all the chatter, you could even possibly hear the light drumming on the church walls. Everyone was quite pleased about it, spring seemed to be coming early.

Daryl had not come to see you last night and left early this morning so you didn’t know where he went or what he did, but what you did know for certain is that he never carried an umbrella. Therefore, when he finally arrived, 30 minutes later, his hair was soaked, and since he didn’t even wear his jacket, the long sleeves of his shirt were drenched with water droplets sticking to his vest and shoes that sloshed and left wet footprints on the wooden floor.

Obvious to say, he was noticed by all.

There is a fine line with Daryl between not giving a fuck about how he was perceived, and caring far too much while not willing to do anything about it, and of course, with all that has happened in the past few weeks, it was the ladder. He hated being the center of attention, but it was hard for him to not be noticeable, it never was, especially now. He felt ridiculous.

As he walks onto the stage– where all the tables of food are placed– you follow him.

“Hi,” you say next to him.

“Hi,” he replies, calling you by your nickname kindly enough, but not ever looking at you.

“You know, I think Rick was hoping you were coming back on time. I don’t know why he put all that stuff on his chair if it wasn’t for you or Michonne and Michonne sat with me.”

He simply nods, humming as acknowledgment.

“Daryl,” you move to the other side of the table as he gathers his food so he can look at you. Quietly you say, “We don’t have to talk about it now, but– I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable the other day. Or if it was about the night before, you just have to tell me.” You poke his shoulder, “You’re acting weird and you know it.”

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable,” is all he grumbles.

“But I still want to say I’m sorry if I did.”

Daryl quickly finds some napkins to dry his hands and wrists with and comes over to place them on the sides of your head to kiss you there. “You ain’t got anything to be sorry about. Alright? I’m fine.” His hands drop and holds you by the neck for a moment, the movement makes some water droplets bleed onto your clothes, you feel it but you say nothing. The only thing Daryl notices from you is that your eyes look almost identical to his despite the differing color– his mood is affecting yours, but he doesn’t know what to say right now to make you feel better so he opts for something he always know is true, “You’re perfect. You know that right?” And I’m just fuckin’ weirdo, he wants to add, but he doesn’t.

You were smiling at him. He doesn’t get it. He looked like an idiot all soaking wet and you were smiling at him. There couldn’t be a better reaction, but still, it’s moments like this where he can’t believe you’re real. All you say is “Okay,” never taking a compliment, just like him, instead of finding a way to break-up with him like he always nearly suspects. “Come to me when you finish, alright? We can leave if you want?”

“Alright,” he responds and you leave him be.

As Daryl goes down the rows of tables picking out what he wants, he heads to the last one. The way the event was set up was that everyone who came early had the opportunity to take a seat at one of the four tables that were placed along each corner of the stage and the rest sat in the pews, but despite the higher vantage point the stage gave, that did not mean Daryl couldn’t hear what those around the stage were saying around him— as always. It must be a hunter’s ear or something.

“Be careful,” a woman says smirking, her eyes gesturing to Daryl. “Let’s hope he doesn’t wet us.” The friend in front of her snickers, looking back to see that Daryl is now by the table just above theirs. Whispering, the first woman continues, shaking her head, “I don’t know how Rick or the girl put up with it. She just acted like nothing was wrong. He’s mudding up the whole damn church!”

Daryl keeps his back turned. This ends up being his last straw. “How about you shut the fuck up,” he mutters.

“Excuse me?”

Louder, facing no one in particular he yells, “Why does everyone act like I don’t got ears?”

You look up, synchronized with everyone in the church and get up with Rick who is already slowly approaching him, but Michonne yanks you down.

“What is your problem?”

To that, he turns back to the woman, “How ‘bout you say what you said again and stop talking shit under your breath.”

“What?”

“I said,” he starts yelling again, “if you got somethin’ to say about me lady, say it to ma’ face. That’s what I said.”

“Hey, what’s goin’ on?” Rick asks almost warningly, but not before someone yells, “Who the fuck are you talking to, man?” from one of the aisles in the back. It was her husband, now standing from his seat. He and his wife make eye contact, and instantly he’s moving closer.

Daryl walks to the edge of the front stage, barking a quick “move” without any pause and Eugene and Siddiq violently bob their heads and grab their plates as Daryl steps on the table and jumps to the floor.

Rick tries to push him back but it’s no use, Daryl pushes him in return and he and the husband are charging at each other, speaking over each other: “What did you say to my wife?” “Told her to shut the fuck up. Thought I said it loud enough–” “Nah, man you were mumblin’ like always–” “Or d’you need me to say it louder with ma garbage disposal mouth?” Daryl pushes him, “Huh?” “I’m not fighting you, man.” But Daryl persists, getting in the man’s face, their noses almost touching. He whispers, “You know, maybe your wife’s got everyone’s name in her mouth because she don’t fuckin’ like you.” The man keeps shaking his head, but Daryl surprises him, he isn’t the only one the town gossips about. “She’s fucking Mark,” he tells him. That was true, and people knew it. “He’s your friend, ain’t he? Maybe that’s why she’s always–” But no, not him, her husband did not know, so he punches, straight in the eye. Daryl almost smiles as he takes the next swing.

The two are tussling, but not for long as Rick takes the chance to get Daryl from behind, taking him away with Gabriel’s help. “You done?” Rick asks as Gabriel holds him on the other side, His grip honestly does nothing though and Daryl shrugs him off. Poor Gabe looks like he’s about to have an aneurysm to see the church– practically his church– in such disarray.

With that, and with Daryl raging too much to contain, he shrugs Rick off and stomps out.

Michonne finally takes her hand off of your wrist and you make you way to leave too. As you walk, you look back to Rick who is already trying to follow, and wordlessly tell him that it’s your turn now, then, turn to awkwardly dodge the people still standing in the aisle and collect your things to go.

Daryl was not hard to find. It almost made you think he wanted to be found or knew you’d go after him— he’s being such a child today. Despite the town lights, you hold out your flashlight to find him sits on a tree stump on the edge of town next to one of his favorite trees. The leaves did a terrible job of covering him from anything but you knew he didn’t care. It was almost laughable honestly. Still, you take pity, he was yours and you were concerned. “I know you don’t care about getting wet,” you say with no malice or disappointment in your voice, “but all that water in your shoes can cause blisters. You didn’t even wear the ones that don’t have holes.”

He just shakes his head, as always, and water droplets fall from the tips of his hair.

“Remember when that happened to me and you drained them with needles even though Saddiq told us not to?”

He stares at you, stone-faced for a moment. “You’re the one who told me to do it.”

“Because they hurt really bad!”

“You were being a baby.”

“Really?” You ask ironically. “So if I’m the baby why are you acting like one right now? It’s been raining since morning, Daryl! Not even a jacket? You’re obviously upset about something but I’m not going to continue this with you in the rain, looking like a sad, wet puppy.”

He sneered at the comment, wet.

“Let’s just go home, okay? Let me take you.”

“We don’t live together.”

You frown. “Don’t be mean, Daryl,” you gently warn. “You know what I mean.”

You hold your hand out for him, water collecting in your palm as you wait. It was more of a gesture than actual help as you two were still a few feet away from each other. “Please? You could have already ran away on your bike or gone home and locked your door but you didn’t. I don’t know what’s going on but don’t act like I don’t know you.”

Reluctantly, he gets up, walking to you in almost slow motion. You wish you could call him the drama queen he is right now, but it was time to get out of this rain– you would hold it in for the time being.

As you enter the small place, you make no conversation. You simply get to work and he doesn’t stop you. You take off your rain jacket and boots, then you take off his vest and boots. You drag him to his room and hang up your sweater and take off your jewelry, then you empty his pant pockets. Finally, you hold his hand as he trails behind you and into the bathroom. You unbutton his shirt and unzip his pants and place them all in the hamper. He takes off his underwear and helps you take off your clothes too. When you’re done, you turn on the water and go in, he follows. You bathe and wash his hair in silence. You are tender and gentle, and he knows it, he appreciates it, but his mind is loud, and angry, and he feels so pathetic as you wash him like he’s 5 years old. You turn around to start washing yourself as he takes care of cleaning his legs and lower area. After he’s done, all he can do is look at you, your body, the soft humming you can’t help but do when you shower. It’s exactly as he said, you’re perfect. He wants to bang his head against the wall because of it.

When you two finish, you sit on his bed, wearing one of his white shirts and a pair of boxers, he wears the same except his bottoms are sweatpants. He hates these kinds of casual clothes actually, he’s only okay with wearing it sometimes, but he has nothing else at the moment. All he had to do was give his clothes to Carol to wash, but he didn’t. He hasn’t really done anything this week.

“Ms. Ellen is a bitch.” You finally say, giving him an ice pack for his eye. “And so is Mr. Gary and they both have the whiteness names in the world. And they’re both lazy as fuck and reek of nepotism because they only had one of the biggest houses and biggest egos in Alexandria because they were friends with Deanna and they’re still bitter that their house being destroyed in the fire— which I get— but it’s not okay that she uses her bitterness to talk shit about everyone. And it’s also not okay that you used your anger to fight someone who didn’t deserve it. That wasn’t like you.”

“Maybe it is. You didn’t always know me.”

“Well, sure, can act like a tough—”

“I don’t act like anything—”

“Fine, I’ll change it: Can you be a tough guy? Yeah. But do you pick fights and make big scenes in front of the kids like that? No, you don’t.” You stare at him, tapping him on the knee and forcing him to look at you. “You not talking is obviously not working, Daryl. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

He takes a moment. “I just—”

“What?”

“I don’t want to disappoint you,” he finally says lowly.

“I don’t think you could,” you answer, “I’m not even now, I’m just frustrated. Or confused really. Why do you think you would?”

He lowers his ice pack, “Cause I’m not fuckin’ Rick.”

You laugh a little. “Well, I did have my suspicions, but great, that’s good to know. I’m glad you’re not fucking Rick.”

He sucks his teeth. “Be serious.”

“Have you not realized I’ve been trying to be? For weeks now? It obviously doesn’t work.” Both of you look down as you continue, “And I finally tell you how I feel and what I want and you just leave and barely talk to me for the rest of the week. And before you even mention coming into my bed at night or saying goodnight or good morning to me and telling me what you’ll do that day, that’s not talking, it's just saying stuff. At some point I can’t always chalk it up to Oh, that’s just Daryl; at some point, a person starts thinking that they're the problem. That I’m the problem! That I’m not good enough.”

A tear falls down your cheek involuntarily, then another; you were clenching your jaw after you finished speaking but it was no use. After everything, all the bullshit and the girls and the punch to his eye that really fucking hurt even though it was his fault he got it, this is actually the worst thing that has happened to Daryl in the past months– making you cry.

“You’re more than good enough,” he says in his mumble, still not looking at you. “I’m just stupid.”

“You’re not stupid!” You yell frustratingly as you wipe tears away. “Stop talking down about yourself!”

Daryl looks off into the window. He wants to speak, he does. The words are all on the tip of his tongue but they cannot come out, they never do. As he watches you wipe away your last tears, he thinks everyone is right, that that guy is right, he has a garbage mouth, his voice is poison. He never makes any sense and he always says the wrong thing. Why speak anyway?

“I can’t help you or at least try to understand if you don’t say anything. I know it's hard— I don’t like doing it either. I was scared to tell you what I did last week. But it just starts with one thing.”

“It's too hard to.”

“But I’ve never judged you, right? ”

He shakes his head. You haven’t.

“The first thing that comes to your mind when I say, ‘what’s wrong?’, what is it? Just say it. I don’t care what it is. I’m not going to judge you, I’m not going to say you’re wrong, anything—”

“People think I’m ugly,” he interrupts, “I’ve heard them say it.”

Your eyes widen, in shock for him and in shock that people could still care about such stupid things right now. “Who said that to you?”

He shakes his head. “That’s why I mentioned Rick. No one says stuff like that about Rick.”

“Well, I don’t want you to be like Rick and you don’t have to be.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Then what is?”

He gestures to himself, slapping his hands on his thighs, “Look at me.”

There’s something about the way his hand then reaches to cover his eyes in frustration, the way he slides it down to scratch his beard, accidentally magnifying to you the wisps of salt and pepper among the brown that gives you a clue to what he means. “I’m not some little girl, and I haven’t been for a long time.”

“I know, but you’re not my age either. And I don’t always think about you when it comes to it, it’s about me- I think about me.”

“So what about it? When it comes to the hair on your head and your eyes and the way you talk— that has nothing to do with how old you are, that’s just who you are. You didn’t choose to look as you do. And you and Rick have always looked the same age if I have to mention him, and his beard is whiter than yours at this point. Neither of you look old, or bad.” Your words do nothing so far. “You also have a better build than plenty of people in town. You’re stronger too.”

“But when they talk about Rick, all they say is that he talks too much and that he’s bossy and hardass and at least that’s true.”

You couldn’t help but smile, almost laughing a bit at that. It kind of was true.

“I’ve never heard anyone say things about him the way they say about me. Never anything about how he looks. But when they talk about me— they think I’m a fuckin’ animal.” There is silence after this. The word wild lingers in his mind and animal in yours. Again you want to ask, who could say that and have they not realized all Daryl has done for this place? Then, the more you listen, the more you realize that hidden beneath those with endless respect are some with hearts of cruelty and minds stuck in the regular old world ways that don’t exist anymore. “And sometimes, when I think about why you like me, I think that maybe it’s despite other things.”

“Despite?”

“Despite.” He practically spits.

“We all have bad qualities though. We’re not perfect.”

“I mean that I’m not some regular good looking guy.”

“Why would I want regular?” Your smile fades as his sad eyes persist. “Daryl, I can’t change your mind or make you feel the way I do about you, but why can’t you trust that I like you, and that I want to be around you? And that I’m,” you blush, “very attracted to you and I’ve felt like an embarrassing teenage girl the past few months waiting and trying to get you to have sex with me!” Quietly you say, “Have you not realized how much I really want you? How much I care? Everyday I feel lucky.”

He can’t take it. “Guess it’s like you said— can’t believe it if I don’t see it myself.”

His mouth is screwed shut, his throat tight, but just like you, it’s no use, a tear rolls down his cheek. Immediately you hug him. He holds you tightly in return and even though it makes your ribs hurt a little, you let him. All of this makes you see how much you two are alike than you’ve ever realized.

“You know,” you say into his hair, “there was this one time, I was up super early and couldn’t go back to sleep so I went out for a walk. I passed by Olivia’s house and she waved me over from her window and asked me if I could help her restock the pantry before Rick came later in the day to check it because she had this huge migraine. Well, that turned into me doing the whole thing for her. She said she was going inside for a break and some water and the next thing I know she’s asleep on her couch! And you know how her niece lives with her? I guess she runs in the morning and while I was finishing up, her and her friend lean up against one of the garage doors and I hear them talking. I was just about to open the door to leave but then she says, ‘She’s sweet but kind of a kiss-ass, right? Like a try-hard?’ And then her friend goes, ‘Yeah, she really wants to be one of them,’ ‘But all she is, is just Daryl’s little girlfriend.’” Daryl lets go to face you, his eyes incredulous just as yours were when he said someone called him ugly. “And then they started saying how I insert myself into places or something, so thought if I came out right then and they see me having done Olivia’s job for her… I didn't want them to get an up-close look of them being right. So I waited until they went in the house and then I left and for the whole rest of the week I was upset because I thought I was becoming friends with those girls but really I wasn’t, and I questioned if Rick and Michonne or Rosita or Glenn and Maggie even thought of me as a friend because they actually like me or if I’m even good enough to be one or if it’s only because I’m associated to you that they care to talk to me. I felt pathetic too.” You pause. “So, I’m really sorry, Daryl. You don’t deserve to feel like you’re being picked on in the town you live in— in the place you helped create.”

“It ain’t your fault.”

“That doesn’t make a difference. I should have said something.”

“You didn’t have to. I wanted that to happen.”

“But I wish I knew. Cause I would have if I knew. I feel like I let Michonne stop me because I didn’t understand. And all I’m saying is whether I've had it as bad as you or not, I do get it. And I’m angry for you. And you don’t have to be embarrassed to tell me things like this. It was dumb of me to keep my feelings in, just like you do with everything.”

Daryl swipes his hair to the side, parts of it are dry and waving while other areas are still wet, making him think about the rat joke. “No one likes you because of me,” he says. “You’re likable because you’re you and you care. And fuck those dumb-ass girls. They’re idiots for saying that.” He rubs your thigh. “I didn’t say anything the other day because when we were in the shower the night before I,” God, he feels stupid, “I got hard and you saw it and I realized it was the first time you saw it like that before and, I don’t know, I got scared.”

“Did you think that I’d think you’re ugly?”

“I don’t know.”

“Daryl,” you tisk, “after the amount of times we’ve showered together already?”

He gets defensive, “I don’t know! Felt different.”

“People usually get excited to know their partner is excited because of them.”

“I just feel like you’re gonna be disappointed.”

“Why do you always think that? I don’t have any expectations. I just want you to show me you love me.” You begin to look nervous, “I want to feel wanted too.”

“But I do… I do want you.”

“Then show me.”

“I don’t know how.”

You try to think, “Daryl— what is it that you picture when- when you want to do it?”

“I picture you,” he says simply.

“You do?” Your face is immediately warm.

He laughs, “Of course I do.”

“Well what do I do? Or what do you do to me?”

“Depends.”

“Pick one,” you say, almost desperately.

“Sometimes it just starts with what we always do. Kissin’. Maybe you’re on top of me.”

You waste no time; you get on top of him.

“And I press you down.” Daryl’s hands are now heavy on your hips, your hands are on his chest, you rock into him slowly.

“And sometimes I think about you bouncing on me or-” he pauses, the way you rock and the way he pushes up to you hitting a perfect spot of friction that makes the both of you gasp.

“Say it,” you tell him.

“I’m fucking you from behind. Or you're on the bottom and I’m going hard or being all gentle and shit like you but I don’t know how.”

“You know we can do all that, right?”

Daryl is red. Both you and him are surprised at yourself, but his bashfulness almost brings it out of you naturally. And honestly, your jacked and grumpy dilf boyfriend has left you repressed for far too long— you’re horny.

Suddenly, you move yourself onto one of his thighs and start palming his bulge as you rock. “Do I do this in your dreams?”

He almost groans, “Now you do.”

You move yourself from his thigh and lay down to start kissing him. He reciprocates, grabbing your face and pulling you close. Daryl starts nipping at your neck and you try your hardest not to yelp so he won’t stop. As you two continue, your slick starts to wet his boxers and you press your legs together as he gets harder under his sweatpants.

“Have you ever noticed how wet I get when we kiss?”

“Only at night,” it’s hard for his words to come out as you continue palming him, “when you don’t have clothes on.”

“And you never did anything about it?” You whine. “Do you know how bad I need you? How much I think about you?”

“I think about you more.”

“You do?

“Yes.” Daryl swallows, whimpering a little. You now stroke him, his dick riding up against his thigh, and it feels too good. “What- What do I do in your dreams?”

“You lay me on the bed and put your dick in me and fuck me and it feels amazing,” you say between hot breaths. “And you’re not scared to do it.”

“I wanna do it.”

“So, please, Daryl, do it. I want it so bad.”

Daryl uses your words as courage. He takes you off of him and goes over you.

You both take off your shirts and he strips you from his boxers and him from his sweatpants.

Finally, without regret or without him turning away you see his cock stand. It’s proud, meaty, and you can’t lie, a little scary, but you’ll never tell him, even if your widening eyes give you away. It’ll fit, you assure yourself. You won’t be afraid.

“You okay?” He asks, timidity setting in again.

But you nod assuredly. “Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

You pout, he’s stalling. “When you look at me, what do you see?”

“Beautiful.”

“And you're handsome. No pretenses. No exceptions.” You come up on your knees to face him, kissing his lips softly. “It’s like we said, we’ve dreamed about this.”

You lay down again, and Daryl places his hands on your inner thighs to spread them, making space for himself. You watch as takes hold of himself, mouth agape and pumping himself a few times as he stares at your body before slowly entering you. Your pussy is drooling at the sight.

Your eyes instantly close and scrunch. Although it worries Daryl, he’s glad you’ve shut them so he can continue looking up and down— up at your face to see if you’re in pain and down as he watches his cock enter you for the first time. You were incredibly tight to him, tighter than he ever imagined, he wasn’t used to this feeling and he liked it, a lot. It made his stomach clench and all his muscles flex as his breathing gets heavier, trying to stop the possibility of him moaning at the sight of it all.

“Are you okay?”

It was big and there was something about it that felt good but it hurt, the stretch indescribable, but you nod and tell him, “I like it,” because that was true, and everything else felt like too much to explain right now, your thoughts almost dissipating.

“You sure?”

You just nod again, whining.

“Alright,” he says, putting his hands on the bed to start.

Once more your eyes screw shut. He almost takes himself out before he pushes back into you again. He doesn’t know if he went slow enough but he tried. Your eyes wrinkling because of how hard you closed them doesn’t help though. He wants to tell you to relax but he’s not even relaxed himself to even make it sound believable.

He tries again, not going so far out this time and slowly goes back in to the hilt again, so slowly in fact he thinks that must have been awkward for you. He stops, tries one more time, then stops again. Your sounds seem like you’re hurt. He knows you’ll say it’s just pain and adjustment to his size but he instantly perceives it as disgust. He knows it’s not, but he can’t help it, he can’t. He must be ‘too much’; ‘too big,’ that’s what it is. Those are things he has heard in porn tapes Merle used to give him or things he noticed in porno mags he maybe used to read that he had found in a store near Hershel’s farm all those years ago, and supposedly it was a good thing for it to be too much, but now, look at you: you were in pain. And it was taking everything in him not to ram into you. He felt pathetic, again. Stupid, again. Like he didn’t know what he was doing. Maybe he should just withdraw right now, clean you up, try to give you a sympathetic look through his hair that said he was sorry for defiling you and not even make you feel an ounce of pleasure in the process. Everyone was right, he is a joke.

“Daryl,” you say, looking up at him, “you don’t have to keep stopping for me. I just need to relax and you just need to be slow. I think I can take it.”

“I know,” he responds, kissing your forehead.

“Close your eyes,” you tell him. “Do what feels right to you. You have to trust me to tell you if it hurts or not.”

He almost laughs at that. You think he’s so strong; that he has all the power. It’s so strange to him.

Daryl puts his head in the crux of your neck, closes his eyes, and tries again. He holds your waist, thumb on your ribs and the other fingers on your back as he pushes his hips into you.

You hug his chest and feel all of it. “Make yourself feel good Daryl, it’s gonna feel so good to me if you do that, I promise.” After his 4th small pump you let out a whiny moan of relief. “Oh- okay- keep going.”

Daryl moves his elbows to the bed by your head and starts pushing his hips against you, finding a rough yet steady rhythm. He loves the slapping sound your bodies are making and can’t help but speed up. He goes deeper and you start moaning. He already feels he’s losing himself. He tries to kiss you to slow down, but realizes he can’t plow into you the same way he just found out he likes. He goes back to it and he starts grunting and groaning— there is a part of him that is embarrassed by it but it just feels so good. “Are you gonna come?” He asks between sharp thrusts.

“Don’t focus on that,” you tell him. “Stay like this. Please.”

You didn’t have to tell him twice, he really can’t think of anything anymore than continuing to pump himself in you so he does. You try your best to rock up into him, but he has full control, his hands on your hips still as tight as ever as he pushes into you, making you and the bed bounce at his mercy.

You’re more than fine with it all. Even better, you couldn’t believe this meant that Daryl was about to come inside you. Something in you knew it was about to happen. It was the way he placed his elbows by your head and started cursing and ramming into you harder and even whimpered in your ear and gave you these little puppy kisses there before getting back to it. You were surprised by how noisy he was but you didn’t dare say a word other than panting and whining back into him so he’d continue, even in moments when it felt too much and too hard. He was forgetting all his doubts and that was the goal right now. You lock your legs around his hips and tell him, “You feel amazing inside me. My handsome man,” and that does it, “Oh, fuck,” he says as he releases every last drop of himself inside you.

Now, as he slows down, he looks at you, thumb on your bottom lip and chin as he tries his best to keep rolling his hips on you as he comes down from his high, but you ask, “Will you kiss me down there, Daryl? I’ve always wanted that.”

“You don’t want me to make you come?”

“I think it’ll happen if you do it like that. I just want to know what it feels like.”

He stops for a moment deciding if this means he’s failed or not, but he simply says, “Okay,” all kindly and nodding like it was your idea even though it was because this means another one of his dreams were coming true.

Instantly, he’s licking you, feeling more assured of what he could do— this was one of his most vivid fantasies so even though he doesn’t know for sure, he thinks he’s got.

“Oh, oh my god,” his tongue is bringing up wetness to your clit and sucking on it, “that’s good.” He starts licking your clit, going fast, “Daryl, that’s so good.”

He looks up at you, dazed already, “Yeah?”

“Oh, yes.” You fix his hair and he loves the feeling. Truly, he was going a little too fast actually, going up and down and this way and that way too much, but the sounds his mouth and your pussy were making together were too glorious. You let him go, you let him be proud, and either way, you’re whining and moaning because of it. He’s perfectly imperfect and he doesn’t even know it. But you’re too in love with the feeling of him to explain what that means right now so all you say is what he told you about yourself in the church, “I think you’re just perfect.”

To that, he stops again and he looks up at you, smiling. It’s one of those rare ones he seldom does, teeth and all, and your slick coating his lips all the while. His eyes are shining, and he gives you the smallest, sweetest, most innocent kiss to the most obscene place on your body— your clit.

At this point all your sounds have been short, quiet, filled with whines but to this, you moan at the sight, full and loud. It’s involuntary. It’s pornographic. It’s the hottest thing he’s ever heard in his life. His cock stirs, springing up again as he goes back to giving you your first and forever the most slobberiest head of your life.

After a while he beckons you from below, “Hey, angel,” he calls.

“Mm,” you respond lightly. You’re nearly blissed out. He’s going to make you come.

“I think those girls were right.”

Your eyes become so cute yet so sad— you just want him on you again. “What do you mean?”

“You are sweet. Sweetest thing I’ve ever had in my life.”

“Oh,” you whisper, moaning again as he goes back to licking your clit. “Oh. Fuck.”

He starts licking and kissing your puffy lips, making wet sounds with his tongue, slurping little bits of you where he can. He loves how slick and noisy your pretty pussy is. Your clit throbs and he hums into it all dark and grumbled and husky going, “Mmmmmm.”

You tell him, “God, it’s so good, Daryl.” To which he responds, referring to a different it, “And it’s mine.”

Oh, so he’s cocky now? Well, that’s new for him. You lay back at the thought, at the feeling, reveling in delight.

Here he is, finally.

[kavehscanvas]

Chat I'm gonna ramble

I have multiple hyperfixations that every once in a while I think "oh I'm getting normal about this now I think" and suddenly I'm BLASTED with the knowledge that I'm, in fact, not normal about it AT ALL

So this is a list of things I'm normal about until I'm not normal about, for fun

I spend like from a week to a month being EXACTLY the image above, to the point where even >I< get tired of hearing me talk about something

Danganronpa, unfortunately. Resurfaces at least once a year, and so far it's happened 3 times around my birthday. I don't think I can break the curse and I've stopped trying

Steven Universe, but specifically ALL the Ruby and Sapphire appearances. I can binge ONLY the episodes where they appear and sometimes the ones leading up to it for the full impact. That's why my Kavetham Rupphire crossover exists.

Genshin Impact hasn't gone anywhere since I got into it, I never had the chance to think I was normal about it. But every once in a while I might think I'm normal about Enkanomiya, The Chasm, Perilous Trail or Guizhong and I get SLAPPED by my own insanities

HSR but specifically the Xianzhou Luofu continuances from 2.4 and 2.5. I am ABNORMAL about the Yaoqing Trio, I am ABNORMAL about Lingsha, I am ABNORMAL about the transition from Dan Feng to Dan Heng in the shackling prison

Ordem Paranormal as a whole. Since Natal Macabro released I haven't been able to let go of it. I can't do anything without thinking "what if I inserted the NM cast into this". I binged the ending of Desconjuração this week. I watched two whole episodes in one day, and MIND YOU. THE EPISODES ARE 4 HOURS LONG.

Like two months ago I got beamed with Akame Ga Kill thoughts. Chat. It was so much worse than all the other times. I lost track of how many times I watched this anime since 2017. This time I only intended to watch a couple of the episodes, yk "the fun ones" (where my faves die) and ended up watching THE ENTIRE ANIME. In two days. I did not come out of it with my sanity intact. And this time I absorbed even more plot points that I had missed the other days and I was even more analytical of the characters and chat. Chat I don't think I can recover from this one. The Run thoughts come back to me every time I open my gallery. Ohhhhhh vaguely androgynous blonde man with good intentions but questionable actions who is the normalest person in his group and has angel imagery despite having a LOW ASS V NECK that shows a considerable amount of his chest save meeeee. Save me small pink girl with a gun double her size and trauma that turns into motivation. Save me lady who killed a guy with her bare fists with no power back up while she was dying from several gun wounds and also bit into a guy's blade with her teeth and it was literally so attractive I physically had to stop and gush over it because I'm attracted to beautiful and strong women.

This was not my intention but I think that last point is a very good example. I am, in fact, not normal about it. I literally thought a few hours ago "huh maybe I should delete some of these AGK skins, I don't use them a lot" past me I have news and I think you won't like them ...

[rat6ix]

So what?

Nam-gyu x reader

Summary: you are horrible for each other but neither of you are gonna do anything about it.

Warnings: smut, toxic!nam-gyu AND reader, neither of them are good people dont be like them, degrading from both parties, switch!nam-gyu and reader, biting, doesn’t take place in squid game, talk of drugs; no description of either doing them but yall high as shit, reader and nam-gyu love each other in some kind of fucked up way…i think, reader is highkey a freak and not in a good way, choking but not the sexy kind reader is tryna kill him, but then again he finds it hot so maybe it is sexy..?, no aftercare.

Porn with no plot 😇

—

Wc: 1.1k

— 🐀

At this point you’re not sure nam-gyu remembers why you were fighting, the drugs in your system combined with the feeling of his cock shoved inside of you making both of your brains fuzzy, you could tell he was getting antsy —impatient even. You hadn’t moved since his cock had slipped inside of you, he didnt deserve it, Not until he apologized. His hands away from any part of you, you made it very clear you would have no problem kicking him out of your apartment , it wouldn’t be the first time he was on your doorstep begging for you to let him in.

You heard him whine from under you, obviously trying to keep himself from squirming. You could feel his cock twitch every time you shifted a certain way, you wanted to roll your eyes at how pathetic he was. His eyebrows were scrunched together, his eyes squeezed shut trying not to fall apart but you knew he would sooner than later.

“Don’t be like that, stop being a cunt nam-gyu look at me.” You teased.

Bringing your hand up to his jaw. You chuckled as he glared at you, his hands twitching by his sides. You know how much he wanted to flip you over and fuck your brains out but you also knew he wouldn’t cause his ego means too much to him.

“Fuck you.” Nam-gyu growled, his jaw clenched his eyes still glaring. You stared down at him blankly before you started laughing, you’d might as well have tears in your eyes at this point.

“You’d love that wouldn’t you.” you joked.

You rolled your hips, a smile still on your face as nam-gyu let out a strangled noise. You moved your upper body closer to his, your hand leaving his jaw finally. Leaning to whisper in his ear.

“Say you’re sorry and I’ll fuck you.”

He made a noise of defiance, jerking his head away from your’s. You leaned back up and frowned, reaching down and gripping his hair. He winced at the feeling, your grip tight as you pulled his face towards yours.

“Don’t do that nam-gyu, you owe me an apology for what you did.” You insisted.

When He didn’t answer your grip on his hair got tighter until he broke.

“Fuck—fine! Im sorry.” He pleaded tears gathering in his eyes from the pain.

“You don’t even know what you’re apologizing for.” You chuckled.

You knew he didn’t and you were right, the look on his face gave him away. It was the face he always made when he was about to lie himself out of trouble. You knew him far too well for far too long for that to work on you. He didn’t know but you didn’t mind reminding him, your hands moving to his chest.

“Remember when you left me high off my ass on the bathroom floor of club pentagon tonight because you had “better things to do than babysit someone who cant handle their drugs”, hm?” You tilted your head as you spoke.

You were tempted to get off his dick kick him out right now just because he didn’t remember, luckily a nice girl stayed with you until you were sober enough to walk and he’s lucky you’re somewhat sober now or else you’re sure you’d be throwing his shit out of your bedroom window; you probably still will if he pisses you off again.

“You’re still mad about that?” Nam-gyu laughed.

His laughter didnt last long as you brought your hands to his throat and fucking squeezed. His eyes widened as you smiled down at him, his fingers trying to pry your hands off of him.

“C’mon say sorry.” You chuckled, doing your best to keep your hands where they were.

“Fuck— im— sor—sorry.” He tried his best to wheeze out.

Satisfied with his shitty apology you release your grip on his neck leaving him sputtering for breath and coughing. You looked down at him with disinterest, your fingers drawing shapes into his stomach. It took him a little bit to get back to normal, his eyes still wide looking at you. He opened his mouth to talk but you cut him off before he even began.

“I could feel your dick twitching the entire time i dont wanna hear anything you fucking slut.” You rolled your eyes.

You barely had time to register him flipping the both of you over, his hands on your wrists keeping you still. His face was unreadable but you could tell he was fucking pissed. It didn’t take long for him to start fucking his cock in you at a brutal pace, his ringed fingers moving to to dig into your thighs, You were definitely going to have bruises on them in the morning.

Your fingers digging into his shoulders kept you grounded, your jaw dropped a bit has he fucked you into your mattress. He was breathing heavy above you, his head hung with hair framing his face. You could hear him curse under his breath a few times before raising his head back up and flipping his hair back to where it wouldn’t obscure his vision.

“Looking a little tired nam-gyu—“ you laughed.

You were cut off by a particularly rough thrust, jolting you backward. You could nam-gyu had enough if your bullshit but that only made you smile harder as he got angrier.

“Stupid fucking bitch, always running your mouth.” Nam-gyu retorted, gripping your jaw.

It hurt to keep smiling, his fingers digging into your face, but you didn’t care. Your mouth open now as you drool all over his hand. He looks at you disgusted before letting go to wiping the drool all over your face. You laughed as best as you could with his cock still being shoved into you at an alarming pace. Your breathing was as labored as nam-gyus at this point, you could tell he was as close to cumming as you were.

Your hands went to the hair on his neck, he probably wasnt even feeling anything but you wrapped around his cock as you tugged at it. His eyes were trained on where your bodies met, occasionally looking up at your face. His hips were stuttering now, the way you were squeezing his cock not making it any easier. For the first time that night he leaned down and caught your lips in a bruising kiss, you decided to take pity on him and return it. After the kiss was broken you took advantage of the position you were in, digging your teeth into his shoulder smiling up at him when he pushed you back with a glare.

It wasnt long after that you both came, nam-gyu pulling out to cum on your stomach. The room was still, the only sound being both of your loud breathing. He rolled off of you a minute later, taking his place on your other side. You stared up at the ceiling for a while before getting up and making your way to the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” Nam-gyu asked out of breath.

“Shower.”

—

Belongs to rat6ix

[bitchface24-7]

I love the name combos- We got Honey and Sugar PLUS Sugar and Spice! My FBI agent has to know about my growing hunky Latino men addiction. My tiktok is feeding me Jayce content with “Beso Al Aire” and it's making my latina heart do fucking backflips.

Do you think we could get a DILF!Jayce with a reader who takes care of his kid and homelife while he's working. They know he’s a busy man so they guarantee him that his kid tucked in sound asleep, the house is clean, and a warm plate of food is waiting for him.

I so desperately need to talk to someone to feed my growing Jayce obsession.

DADDY’S HOME - JAYCE X READER

synopsis: you're the babysitter to a incredibly cute little girl, Isabella. Her dad unfortunately has a very busy job and is constantly out of the house (against his will, of course) so you take care of her for him. You take care of him too. Who wouldn’t want to care for Jayce Talis?

warnings: age gap (early 40’s Jayce, mid-20s reader), oc daughter, teasing, flirting, risky sex (like hello there's a kid in the house), quiet sex

genre: m/f or m/m

p.s. Older dilf Jayce save me. Please older dilf Jayce 🙏🙏

Isabella Talis is the cutest little girl you've ever seen. She's damn near a carbon-copy of her dad. Big brown eyes, bouncy black hair, sun-kissed skin, and big 'ol dimples when she smiles.

You've been babysitting her for a while now, about a decade now. You got the job when you were fifteen, now you're twenty-five. You started babysitting Bella when she was three, now she's thirteen. Honestly, she makes you feel old.

Especially since so many people assume you're her parent.

Going grocery shopping with her, going out to eat, having girl's days together, going to school events and celebrations; you can see where people are coming from.

Especially since Bella listens to you without hesitation. She only calls you by your name or nickname, but that doesn't matter. You're her parent in all the ways that matter.

Isabella's mom wasn't ready. She didn't want to be a mom, you can't blame her. Jayce was in his late-twenties to early thirties when Bella was born, her mom was a few years younger than Jayce. So Jayce became her single-dad with Grandma Ximena helping care of her.

So, you’ve gotten quite used to caring for young Isabella Talis.

You’ve also gotten used to caring for her dad, Jayce Talis.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Jayce Talis is a very well known man. A co-creator of Hextech, a councillor of Piltover, constantly working. Poor thing is exhausted.

So you ensure he’s taken care of.

You clean the house, you make hot meals for him, you even meal prep for him.

He can’t tell you how grateful he is for that.

But he shows it in his actions.

He ensures you’re also cared for, he pays you well for your work (even though you try to deny it every time. He insists), he gets you gifts that you’ll appreciate for life, he’s even physically affectionate.

Sometimes you think it’s wrong, but you don’t care.

A kiss to your cheek, your neck, his beard tickling your skin, his hands on your waist, your hips, long loving hugs. Hands playing with your hair, hands massaging your neck.

God, you feel like you’re in the foreplay section of a porn video.

“Babysitter gets ruined by Older Hot Boss. 35:12”

You’ve always found Jayce attractive, you obviously didn’t act on it since you were underage. It was wrong, taboo. Now, you’re an adult.

Having your fantasies isn’t wrong, it isn’t against the law.

But you’re quite certain Jayce feels the same way. You remember the last time you were cooking for Jayce after he came home, Isabella already sleeping in her room.

You remember Jayce pining you essentially to the stove top as you stirred the boiling pasta. Kissing the nape of your neck as he slowly ground his hips into your ass. You felt how needy he was, and you let him continue.

Poor thing is pent up, and you did promise yourself you’d do anything to help him out.

It also helped it made you feel good too.

You two didn’t talk about it when eating dinner together, but your heated gazes said more than any words could.

Turns out the fantasies you’ve had since you were a student at the academy may actually come true.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You have to be quite. No if’s, ands, or buts. Isabella is sleeping just down the hall, and you don’t want to traumatize her having her hear you two have sex.

So you cover your mouth desperately as Jayce pounds into you. Thank god the bed doesn’t squeak.

The two of you angle yourselves so your skin doesn’t slap together. You don’t want her to hear anything. You know how awkward and traumatic it is to hear your parents have sex and you don’t want Bella to go through that.

But damn does Jayce fuck like a sex god.

His salt and pepper hair falling into his face, his mouth curled into a sneer as he holds back his moans, his hips punishing.

Your eyes water at the overwhelming pleasure. You rip your hand away from your mouth and desperately kiss Jayce. His hips stutter a bit before picking up speed, the two of you whining into each other’s mouth.

A desperate grip causes Jayce’s back to get red lines. The cuts lightly bleeding as you cum around his cock. The fluttering of your hole cause Jayce’s eyes to roll the back of his head as he cums inside you.

The two of you pant as you kiss, Jayce essentially falling on top of you. You grunt due to the weight but don’t complain, he’s the perfect weighted blanket. You caress his face, his beard surprisingly soft.

“We probably shouldn’t have done that.” Jayce states quietly, your hand pauses for a moment, “Probably. But I don’t regret it.”

“Neither do I. Stay the night? I don’t feel comfortable having you leave so late at night.”

You smile sweetly at Jayce, he’s always cared for you the entire time he’s known you. What a sweetheart.

“Of course.”

Jayce smiles, the crows feet near his eyes deepening as his pearly whites beam at you, the little gap between his front teeth make you want to coo, “Isabella is gonna freak out knowing you slept over and it wasn’t with her for once.”

You lightly laugh as you slap Jayce’s back, he laughs too.

“You’re such a shit disturber.”

“You have no proof.”

Yeah… your fifteen year old self would be screaming and fainting right about now. Your inner teen is immensely satisfied.

As are you as a twenty-five year old.

Dilf Jayce 😩😩 he 100% gives girl dad

[minkieater]

EIGHT FIRST DATES ꨄ︎

005 》 HAN JISUNG

you needed a night out, you needed to have fun— at least that’s what yunho told you. when chan invites your group to a music festival where his curly headed roommate would also be, will it be what you need to get you back on track? or will you start from square one, again?

wc 15.5k my bad y’all its getting serious now | drinking, smoking, kissing, suggestive, music festival vibes, sadness, tiny gets fucked up. vomit but not descriptive. hanjis sexy

“have you guys ever thought about your wedding?” 

of course you thought about getting married, your wedding, every little girl does— walking down the aisle next to her father, meeting the love of her life at the altar… all of it seemed so futile after your father passed, you haven’t thought about it as a true reality since then, more of a pipedream.

you didn’t know if you were simply driving yourself insane or if you really were obsessed with mingyu, but every single waking thought you’ve had since saturday was about getting married, knowing you were nowhere near that stage of your life but for some reason… questioning it. maybe even excited for it. 

everything with mingyu has felt meant to be so far… maybe it was.

the entire table looked at you in silence– eight pupils staring into your soul, wondering where the fuck that came from. yunho was quick to shut you down. 

“i don’t even want to ask, tiny.”

“i’m serious! have you even considered what you’d want in a partner? what your wedding would look like?” you were in dreamland, sparkles in your eyes and everything as you stared up at the high ceilings of your kitchen. yeosang and san had brought over dinner, which led to the five of you seated on barstools around your kitchen island in silence, up until now. 

“sexy and rich,” yeosang didn’t even look up, mouth full as he digged deeper into his meal. 

san nodded in agreement– “my wedding will be big enough to make everyone attending jealous, small enough to make others wish they were invited.”

“you’re both shallow,” you grumble, picking at your plate, moving your food around. you glance at your twin, “ace, what about you? do you think reia’s the one?” 

ace lets out a nervous chuckle, one that sounds exactly like yours, “i– uh, maybe. possible.”

you pop a brow, sitting back in your stool, straightening your back. you weren’t the only one that picked up on it, the entire table noticed his shift in energy, the change in tone. yunho asks, “what’s going on?”

ace groans in defeat when there was never an argument to begin with, elbows hitting the granite, palms digging into his eyes. “i think reia’s going to break up with me.” 

“why?” your voice is loud, surprised. you take it down a notch, “what happened?” 

he leans back, moving his hands away from his face and you notice that he looks tired. bags under his eyes, his skin looked dull, his freckles weren’t freckling like they usually did. you blamed it on school and the stress he’d been under– you didn’t think reia had anything to do with it. last time you checked, how ace felt about reia is how you felt about mingyu. 

“she’s been saying shit like how i’m not giving her enough attention, not seeing her enough, all i care about is school and when i’m not doing homework i’m with you guys,” he huffs, his voice sounding weak now that he’s finally admitting it. 

“why doesn’t she come hangout with us?” yeosang asked, but you were sure that’s what you were all thinking. “she’s usually here all the time, and your workload for school hasn’t changed.”

“i guess she’s been feeling this way for awhile,” ace stretched his arms over his head, lifting his eyebrows, expression saying he’s had this conversation already– with her. “we don’t have enough one on one time.”

yunho leans over the counter, palm holding up his baseball cap covered head, “get an airbnb for a weekend, take her somewhere nice, just the two of you. she’s probably feeling underappreciated and overwhelmed with her own schoolwork.” 

“that’s actually a good idea,” ace marvels, a semblance of light returning to his eyes, “you’re so good with girls, bro. incredible how you’re still single.” 

yunho smiles, “incredible how i manage to fight ‘em off me.” 

yeosang rolls his eyes, “can we circle back to why teens is asking about marriage?” 

“no,” the three boys say in unison, all eyes landing on yeosang.

“okay, fine, riddle me this,” yeosang sits a little straighter, index finger pointing to the air in front of him, “tiny, whose never gone on a date before a month ago, shows up to dinner with her prehistoric boyfriend and starts talking about marriage. no one wants to ask any questions?” 

you gasp, “yeosang! he is not—”

“that’s actually a good point,” san shrugs, “we haven’t talked about him yet.”

“how old is he anyways?” yunho asks, both elbows on the table now, long fingers folded over one another on the top of his palms. 

your cheeks flush, near mumbling as you redirect your attention back to the food in front of you, hoping no one notices the warmth on your skin. you were waiting for this question, scared of this question. “thirty.” 

“tiny.” ace’s tone is firm, disappointed even if he only said your name— the underlying message is clear to you. you break your staring contest with your plate to look up to him, there are a million words on his tongue, but he says none of them. 

your face burned in embarrassment, you were scrambling for something to say, small tuts leaving your lips instead. you didn’t know how to defend it, defend him— you were still debating it yourself. they didn’t know this was currently a sensitive topic, that you’d been non stop questioning your relationship with mingyu for almost forty eight hours, worried that it won’t work out because of that very reason. 

san giggles, “we knew you had daddy issues, teens, would’ve never expected you to fuck someone old enough to be one. props to you, actually.” 

your world went silent, the insult flipping a switch within you. your train of thought skipped right past anger to hurt, tears quickly filling your eyes. you fled from the kitchen— two palms flat on the granite countertop pushed you off of your stool, legs racing through your hallway. you only heard yunho scold san with a stern drag of his name as your legs took you to up your bedroom, locking the door behind you. 

that wasn’t the conversation you intended to open by asking that question. you were once again putting your foot in your mouth, regretting sharing your thoughts, it was as if san had that statement locked and loaded–– ready to hit its target. your boys had always said whatever they thought, feelings be damned, you forgot how much it hurt to be on the receiving end. 

it felt like you were younger when they’d tease you relentlessly, only stopping when ace made them. you haven’t felt that way in a long time, their teasing now was lighthearted, and you did it right back— it’s been years since you’ve been in tears in your bedroom over something one of the boys said. 

as you laid on your back, sprawled across your mattress, you began to think, and what san said started to make more and more sense as you thought about it. daddy issues— your tears dried without you noticing. mingyu’s age, his career, his stability, the pet names, how he took care of you already, his dominating nature that ‘only came out with you… you ate up every moment— you loved it, even. 

but it was all because of one thing, and as much as you hated it, san hit it right on the money. 

“teens?” he spoke before he knocked, three rhythmic taps of his knuckles against your door. 

“go away, yunho,” you frown, turning on your side with your back facing the door even if he couldn’t see you. 

“let me in,” he urged, you could see his scowl through the wooden slab that separated you. “i’m sorry for what san said– san is sorry for what he said. please let me talk to you.”

you sighed, you knew he wouldn’t go away, he’d sit there until you opened up whether that be in one hour or six. you got up, unlocking your door, but you didn’t open it. you let him open it himself as he followed you inside your room, you plopped onto your bed lifelessly, your body a dead weight. he followed you, sitting at the foot of your bed, resting a hand on your ankles that laid one over the other. 

“he shouldn’t of said that,” yunho started, “it was fucked up. he crossed a line.” 

“he’s right,” your throat constricted, words fighting their way through. your words become quieter, a strain on your vocal chords, “i thought mingyu was perfect.”

“what did i tell you?” yunho leaned across your legs so he could see your face that was laid on the pillow. you looked down at him as he said, “you deserve someone who’s gonna appreciate you, cherish you, you’re special and important.” 

you blinked, tears returning to you, filling up your waterline. “he does all of those things, he makes me feel that way, and now i’m supposed to be normal when i know the only reason i feel this way about him is because my dad is dead? because matt fucking sucks?”

yunho purses his lips, his body stiffening on top of your legs. “tiny, there’s eight years between you. he’s fooling around with you, it’s not right.”

“i know our age difference already!” your voice raises, “he’s done everything right, yunho. you don’t know him, you didn’t even try to get to know him when he was here, instead you sulked in your bad mood like a child. what was that even about?” 

“don’t get pissed at me because of something san said,” he sits up, his weight lifted from your legs, his eyes looking everywhere but at you as he continues. “i was just in a bad mood saturday, it wasn’t about anything.” 

“you’re lying, jeong yunho. you forget that i know you,” you sit up, too, facing him feet apart on your mattress. he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, he wasn’t expecting you to call him out.

“you’re missing the point,” he sighs, looking down at your mattress, reining in the topic at hand. “i don’t know him, but i don’t need to. eight years of life is longer than you think, he knows a lot more than you, you just started going on dates. you don’t know anything, tiny.” 

“i know enough,” you shake your head, “i know that i like him a lot and that’s enough for me.” 

“so what, you want to be married within the next two years?” he looked back up to you, his face was unreadable, but his voice was firm, truthful. he meant every word he said. “miss out on being in your twenties? miss out on dating? learning about people, experiencing life, trying out different things. learning how to be independent, how to support yourself, miss out on all of that because you have a rich husband? that’s your goal?” 

you blink, “is that why you’re single? experiencing life, dating around, fucking who you please because you can? sounds boring to me.” your words are curt, intended to sting. “i’d much rather learn and experience with someone, grow together as a unit.”

“be realistic, think like you’re twenty two, not like you’re still seventeen,” he bites, sending the sting right back to you. after a moment’s pause, he speaks, his voice soft. “i’m single because i’m waiting.”

“for what?” you ask, eyebrows knitted together, tears still dancing down your cheeks. “how do you know? …what you’re waiting for?” 

“it’s not for what, tiny— it’s for who.”

──────  ꨄ︎

“i have an idea,” chan was smiling ear to ear, you wondered if the two of you would ever pay attention to your lecture again, two weeks in a row spent talking the entire class. “me and my roommates are going to a music festival this weekend, you should come.”

your lips form a line, “chan, if this is about–”

“hear me out!” he interjects, a finger coming up between you, silencing you. you sit back in your chair, crossing your arms as he continues. “i know you’re seeing someone, but this will get jisung off my back and you can get a feel for him without making it an actual thing.”

seeing someone feels sour, you ignore it— “okay, let me hear your plan.”

“it’s a music festival, so it’s not like it’s some private, real date like going to dinner or something. you can bring your friends, i’ll be with mine, we can meet up and it can be a group thing so you have people to hangout with if you aren’t into hanji,” he raises his eyebrows with a smile as he awaited your response, “not bad, right?”

you think about it for a second– it’s not a terrible idea, and you did owe chan for your own date with him. you nod, “when is it?”

“saturday, i’ll text you the link for tickets. me and my three roommates are going, jisung jihoon and jeongin, everybody’s single,” he winks, “they’re all music people.”

“and all of their names start with J,” your eyebrows furrow, “how did you manage that?”

he shrugs, “me and jisung were roommates, jeongin and jihoon were roommates, we got an apartment together sophomore year and it just happened to be that way. i’m the only non-music major and the only one whose name doesn’t start with a J,” he brings his attention to his laptop, pulling up the website for the music festival. 

“it’s all weekend long, you probably don’t want to go all weekend so just come for one day,” he says, pulling up the lineup on the screen. you scan the list and you know several artists, it seems fun, and the idea was well thought out. it wasn’t necessarily a date, but instead a place you would just happen to be at together– you would barely have to talk to jisung if you didn’t want to. 

you didn’t have to tell mingyu, either— not that he’d have an issue if you did. being wednesday now, you haven’t seen him since sunday morning, and since monday night… there was no way he couldn’t tell something was off. where you were usually bubbly on the phone with him, over text, you’d turn monotonous without even realizing. the whole relationship began to feel stale after what san said, after your talk with yunho. you weren’t sure if any of your feelings were legitimate anymore.

chan texts you the link and you immediately send it to your groupchat, telling the boys to clear their schedules and to buy their tickets (you tell san to get one for you, too. he owes you). you were met with no pushback, all of the boys agreeing except ace— he was taking reia away for the weekend, using yunho’s idea. 

“i’m so excited,” chan beams, scrolling through the website, “it’s really cool, we’ve gone every year since we started here. tell your friends that my roommates are single.”

“i’ve never been to a music festival before, just random concerts here and there. you’ll have to show us etiquette,” you snicker when you realize exactly what he’s implying with his roommates— you didn’t think any of your three boys had gotten any in awhile. “i will definitely let them know.” 

as you walked out of class and into the brisk, october air, a certain car stuck out like a sore thumb in the parking lot. sitting idly and illegally was a BMW pulled up beside the curb, closest to the building of your class— completely blacked out, tinted windows with a gold seventeen decal on the back window on the driver’s side… that car belonged to one person and one person only.

he stepped out of his car as soon as you walked out of the building, dressed in all black business casual attire, sunglasses on his face. you bid chan goodbye without as much as a glance, feet drifting toward mingyu so fluidly and without thought you could’ve been floating all over again. maybe he did cast a spell on you.

mingyu stepped around the vehicle to open his passenger side door, greeting you with a smile, “hey, princess.” he kissed you on the head before you slid into the seat, the smell of his cologne and fresh leather hitting your nose as he shut the door behind you. 

“what are you doing here?” you asked as he got into the driver’s seat, putting the car into reverse. you began feeling awkward, confused, your talk with yunho came to mind again– mingyu’s presence made it too easy to forget all of your worries. 

“don’t sound too excited, i’m taking you to lunch,” he shot you a tight lipped smile as he put his car into gear, pulling out of the parking lot. 

“mingyu,” you breathed with a small shake of your head. you hadn’t even gotten all of your thoughts in order, you wanted to wait before you talked to him, you knew it was coming eventually— he did, too. 

“don’t say anything,” he kept his gaze on the road in front of him, the sun shining through his windshield, kissing his soft, golden skin. he let his hand fall to your thigh. “just… let me do this.” 

“okay,” you said, flushing as the weight of his palm hit your skin. electricity shot through you every time you were with him, every time he touched you— it had to mean something. 

or did you just want it to? 

he pulled into the parking lot of a diner, a small one near your campus. you loved diners, you used to go with your family growing up once a week— every sunday morning, stopping shortly after you turned twelve. your blood thrummed in excitement under your skin. 

you sat in a booth, a quietness consuming the two of you, you thought maybe he didn’t know what to say— you definitely didn’t. mingyu broke the silence first. 

“you want to tell me what’s going on?” 

“there’s nothing to tell, nothing going on, i mean,” you barely looked up from your menu when you knew what you wanted to order in the parking lot. how do you tell someone that the only reason you’re interested in them is because you’re wired to? 

he sighed, laying his menu down on the table. the waitress comes and takes your orders, leaving you to silence once again. 

“the only way this is going to work is if you’re honest,” his voice is more serious than it usually is. you have nothing to hold in your hands anymore— it feels like you’re back at that expensive restaurant when mingyu first brought you on an impromptu lunch date. you feel exposed.

you run a hand through your hair, “i don’t know, mingyu.” you pause, then internally said fuck it. “you said you won’t rush anything with me, but what if i’m just holding you back?” 

“how would you be holding me back?” his eyes were full of concern as he leaned forward, arms folding across the table. 

“you’re thirty, ready to get married, start a family,” you shake your head, “i’m not even close to being there yet.” 

“i met you two weeks ago,” a chuckle leaves his lips, trying to relieve the tension brought by your statement, “why is that on your mind?” 

“you shouldn’t be wasting your time, mingyu. you’re fooling around with a twenty two year old,” your own words weren’t leaving your lips— they were yunho’s. 

“fooling around?” his eyes were raised as if you insulted him. “if i was fooling around i wouldn’t have made so much of an effort. wouldn’t have cooked for you, met your family, i would’ve fucked you the day i met you and never spoken to you again.” 

the gears turn in your head, he said it so simply, you knew it was to help put you at ease— it hurt instead. he continues, “i’ve been serious about you since the day you met me for lunch. i like you.” 

“and what happens when you meet someone who’s ready?” you bite, your brain swirling with mingyu’s testimony but also the advice from your twin. “if your ex comes back to this side of the country, if you meet someone who doesn’t have a dead dad, someone actually meant for you.” 

mingyu laughs— the chuckle was not out of amusement, it was dry and venomous and knowing. “there it is.” 

“what?” you ask, shifting in the old leather booth as if you were in the hot seat. 

“they got into your head, didn’t they?” he shakes his head, a sarcastic smile on his face, “i knew they didn’t like me, your friends, your brother— you would never say that on your own.” 

“nobody ‘got to me’, mingyu,” you argue, your fingers twisting on the table between you because they did get to you and you know that, but you think they might be right. “how do you know what i would say and wouldn’t say? like you said, we met two weeks ago.”

his face hits his palms as he sighs, they slide over his skin in frustration, “was it yunho?” 

“what?” your back presses against the cushion of the booth, “was what yunho?” 

the waitress brings your food to the table, halting your conversation or argument. a part of you wanted to thank her for cutting you off, you didn’t know if you wanted him to continue— not when yunho was brought into the conversation. he did, though, as soon as she walked away from the table. 

he cut into his meal– “yunho doesn’t like me.”

“he has never once said that, mingyu,” you respond, cutting into your french toast. diners were best for all day breakfast.

“he doesn’t need to,” he was smiling again, not out of happiness, you couldn’t place his emotions based on his face. his words didn’t match it. “game’s game. this whole conversation is ridiculous, can’t you see that?” 

“what are you talking about?” your eyebrows blend together, so furrowed in confusion you were sure you looked animated, “what am i not seeing?” 

“it’s besides the point,” he pays attention to his food again, his tone laced with irritation. “i like you, i’ve been trying to be consistent with showing how much i like you— how much i want to do this the right way.” 

“i understand if you think we can’t be together because of our age, because of your past, things out of your control, but i want you to know that i don’t agree. i don’t think any of that should be used to factor whether we work or not because i think we work really well.” 

“i think we get along really well, too,” you said, sounding like you were the one trying to convince him now – you snapped yourself back into reality, what you felt, what you knew, not the bubble mingyu put you in. “in the long run i… mingyu i don’t know if i’m ready for all of this.”

“all of what?” he was getting frustrated now, furrowed brows and a tight jaw, “i haven’t tried to take this even one step further. are you scared of what it could turn into?”

“yes, it feels real,” you shake your head, “it feels really real.”

“in any other situation that’d be a good thing,” he takes a hand through his hair, sitting back in the booth, “maybe you’re right. too young, i guess.”

regret washes over you like a bucket of cold water, but you don’t falter in your words, reciting them from someone else’s mouth. “eight years is a lot longer than i thought it was, you know more than i do– i just started dating.”

he nods, lips pursed, but he says nothing for a few moments. you stare at him with flushed cheeks, an uneasiness sitting at the pit of your stomach. it was fight or flight, and there’s nowhere to run– literally. 

“finish your meal and i’ll take you back to campus,” you couldn’t read his tone, but it was definitely not happy. 

like you always did with mingyu, whether you wanted to or it was installed in you, you obeyed. you spent the rest of your meal wishing you could say something else, words at the tip of your tongue that you couldn’t find the voice to say. he paid for your meal, a gentleman until the end, and drove you back to campus. 

“before you go, can i just say one thing?” he says as he turns to you, flipping his sunglasses on top of his head. you nod. 

“you don’t have to listen to them,” he says and your mouth parts to speak, but he cuts you off. “you may think they know everything about you because you grew up with them, but they don’t know how you feel. they don’t know my intentions for you, they don’t know how much i like you.”

“i know you’ve been through a lot in your life and they were there for you every step of the way, but i’d treat you so fucking well. i would never pressure you into marriage, or having kids or whatever worries have been put into your pretty little brain. i’d do whatever you wanted– if you wanted to travel, i’d take you on trips, we could explore every little school on the opposite side of the world. if you wanted to open your own damn school, i’d do that with you, i’d help you. i don’t want you to walk away with the idea that i’m not the one for you— we both know this would’ve worked if you let it.” 

jaw slack and eyes filled with tears, you stared at him. you blinked once, twice, then your lips were on his before you could even process that you had moved an inch. 

you deserve someone who’s gonna appreciate you, cherish you, you’re special and important. 

isn’t that what this is? isn’t this what you’ve been looking for? your brain whirled, mingyu’s tongue licking into your mouth, his huge palms holding your wet cheeks. 

learning about people, experiencing life, trying out different things.

tears flowed down your skin, onto mingyu’s fingers, he just kissed you harder. 

learning how to be independent, how to support yourself, miss out on all of that because you have a rich husband? that’s your goal?

there was only one way this could end– you needed it to end, now, or else you’d never leave his car. you pulled away from mingyu, wide eyed and so fucking confused. you hated yourself in this moment– it felt like being pulled into your living room when mingyu was in your kitchen. being pulled towards comfort and familiarity, when what your future could be was waiting for you, missing you, hoping you’d stay. 

“i’m sorry,” was all you could get out before you were pushing the car door open and racing towards your own.

──────  ꨄ︎

figuring out an outfit for a music festival was hard to begin with, you had too many factors adding onto it that made the task a thousand times worse. you could barely get yourself out of bed this morning for starters, you hopped in the shower half past eleven when you needed to leave at one. because it was late october and most music festivals were held in the summer, even pinterest wasn’t helping you with inspiration. on top of that, having three men in your bedroom without a lick of a feminine fashion sense made it borderline overstimulating, they threw ideas at you while their outside clothes laid all over your unmade bed– it tipped you over the edge. the only good part was that it’s cold outside. 

you went casual– you needed to, you’d be outside for hours and alcohol can only heat you up so much. baggy jeans, a hoodie and an oversized jacket on top, you accessorized with a baseball cap and some sneakers and you were set. a mini purse with nothing but your ID and some lip gloss sat on your shoulder, sunglasses on your face, you’d be warm, comfortable and cute. 

when you walked downstairs to the three boys sitting in your living room, you realized you were all wearing different versions of the same outfit. you copied them without even realizing– naturally, they noticed, and had plenty to say about it. you didn’t care enough to change. 

the drive to the festival wasn’t terrible, little traffic until you got closer to the venue, yunho drove with loud music playing through the speakers and the other two singing along in the backseat. when you arrived, you immediately sent a text to chan letting him know you arrived.

“i want a drink,” you said as soon as you walked through security, yunho on your left and the other two on your right. “who’s paying for it?” 

“why can’t you pay for it? you should buy us drinks,” yeosang huffed, digging his hands further into his pockets. 

“you’re in the clear,” you moved a little closer to yeosang, bumping your shoulder against his. “i didn’t bring money, the other two are responsible for ruining my relationship with mingyu, so they get to buy my drinks all night.” 

san gasps, “i am not responsible–” 

“surfside?” yunho asks, eyes already scanning the area for the nearest bar, not wanting to begin that conversation again. his figure stood over the massive crowd already formed around you, your group definitely did not get there early. 

“yes, please,” a small smile sat on your face as you followed yunho towards the nearest bar, pleased with how quickly he agreed, he bought drinks for the two of you– leaving san and yeosang to fend for themselves. 

san grumbles, “you should buy me a drink for how mean you’ve been.” 

you point your eyes at him and he shrinks under your gaze, voice growing small as he said, “i’ll buy the next round.” 

you walked through the crowd, so many different kinds of people surrounded you. a range of ages, dressed in clothes much more appropriate for a music festival than yours. the energy of the space was so bright, so welcoming, it was beckoning your mood to brighten– you wished you could let it. 

you stayed close to at least one of the three, keeping your eyes peeled under your sunglasses for a blonde boy no taller than five foot eight. he was nowhere to be found, as you assumed since the venue was so massive. you walked up to the first stage, the main stage which was one you wanted to see, a small indie band. you knew some songs, but you wouldn’t know an entire setlist– the show you really wanted to see wasn’t until later. 

being after three and you hadn’t ingested anything other than your morning (afternoon) coffee, the surfside you had taken about four sips of was already going straight to your head. you wore a disinterested look even though the stage was good, the band was putting on a great show, you’ve been miserable since wednesday. you missed mingyu, even if your time together was short– you figured that you might be perpetually stuck between if your choice was right or if you regret it completely. 

“drummer’s hot,” yeosang comes to your side, bumping his shoulder into yours again. 

you shoot him a tight lipped smile, “he’s alright.” 

“bro, cheer up,” he frowns, “if you were normal you’d be drooling over him right now.” 

you roll your eyes, “cheer me up instead of complaining, then.” 

“where’s the whiskey date guy? aren’t we supposed to be meeting up with him?” yeosang asks and you pull out your phone from your pocket, four texts from chan filling your screen. 

chan: UR HERE!!!! chan: wya

chan: hello

chan: were going to the main stage meet us there

already being at the main stage, you typed back a quick response then looked around through your shaded lenses, the blonde nowhere to be found. you nudged yunho’s side, asking him to look for chan instead, he could see a lot better than you could. as he looked out into the crowd farther than your eyes could see, chan found you first. 

“hey!” you heard to your left, a voice that belonged to the one you were searching for. you whipped your head around, a genuine smile surprising you as it filled out your cheeks, waving him over. 

“you found me! i just texted you back,” you said as he wrapped you into a short hug of greeting. 

he stepped back, looking around you, “where are your friends?” 

“here?” you said with eyebrows raised, yeosang, san and yunho coming forward to stand at your sides. “this is san, yeosang and yunho.” 

“oh,” a questioning look grew on his face, then he stepped closer to you, speaking quieter so only you could hear. “when i said bring your friends, i was not expecting a bunch of…dudes?” 

you giggled, “surprised i’m not with a group of girls?”

“for some reason, it explains a lot,” he shrugs and you raise your eyebrows, asking him to explain without verbalizing it. “you aren’t… shy in the way a lot of girls are, i guess, i don’t know, you talk about your relationship problems with me. plus, we’re in the same outfit.”

you look him up and down, realizing he is yet another person you’ve stolen fashion inspiration from. you smack a hand over your mouth, “oh god, you too?” giggles threaten to slip through your palm, before you shrug and say, “i’m one of the guys, i guess.”

“ew,” he physically cringes, “never say that again.”

three guys approached behind chan and you first spot jisung, the one you didn’t meet at chan’s apartment. he looked the same, a mop of brown curls sat atop his head, big, thin frames on his face, a hoodie and baggy jeans on his body. he looked just as cute as the day you first saw him, like a chipmunk you’d spot outside of your living room window on a spring day. 

he wasn’t sexy, he wasn’t massively muscular, he wasn’t six foot three or thirty years old— he wasn’t mingyu. no one could be.

“these are my friends,” chan pointed to each friend as he said, “jisung, jeongin and jihoon.” 

“ah, the J’s!” you introduced yourself to the three of them, your groups quickly merging to create small talk. chan stood close to you, guiding your conversation with his roommates, you talked about the festival, what bands were playing, until you settled into a layer of comfort to speak freely. the surfside was definitely helping. 

you quickly realized the three boys were more reserved, unlike chan– or they were at least not comfortable enough yet to cut through san and yeosang’s voices, who were quickly dominating the conversation with chan. 

“the next band playing is really good,” jihoon finally interrupts, looking around the group with a gaze which didn’t seem shy, instead calculated, like he was waiting for the right moment to speak. he was shorter than everyone, long, black hair laid over his shoulders, you could see the muscles beneath the black tee he wore, nearly masked by the black jacket sat perfectly on his shoulders. he gave the vibe that he had his shit together– clean, healthy, confident. “do you guys want to stay? who are you here to see?” 

“jungle is playing later,” you reply, “on stage B i believe, at eight? i want to see them the most.” 

“TV girl is playing at six,” yeosang cuts in, warm brown hair that’s gotten noticeably longer was falling over his temples now, “still woozy plays in about an hour.”

“you like still woozy?” jeongin asked yeosang, as if hearing jihoon’s voice gave him the confidence to speak up himself. the two were just about the same height, yeosang was maybe an inch taller than jeongin. his face was insane, to say the least– sharp jaw, high cheekbones, almond shaped eyes that curved up ever so slightly at the edges. he was the other one out of the four that resembled an animal in the most gorgeous way, black hair laying across his forehead that made the shadows of his face deepen further. you wouldn’t be surprised if he was a model, if not a fox turned human– you wondered if he had any interest in you.

“where have you been keeping them?” you say in chan’s ear, leaning closely into his side. chan chuckles, looking down at the ground, hands buried in the pockets of his hoodie. 

“i keep them locked in their rooms, they’re only allowed out during feeding time,” he jokes, a wide smile on his face, voice turning to a hushed whisper as he says, “stop ogling them, jisung will get jealous.” 

“then jisung should do something about it,” you retort as you bring your gaze back to the group– jisung couldn’t see who you were looking at anyways, you still had your sunglasses resting on the bridge of your nose.

“let him get a few more drinks in him, he will,” chan nods nonchalantly as he looks away from you. you rolled your eyes under the shades– you didn’t care either way, but the outright admittance of jisung needing alcohol to talk to you rubbed you the wrong way. 

your group travels to another stage, watching a different group play while waiting for still woozy to start their performance. jisung trailed behind the group with jihoon, the two seemed to be a pair so far, then yeosang, san and jeongin had split off to the side. you walked between yunho and chan, three quarters of your surfside had already heated you up enough to where the bite of the air was more of a light nibble on your cheeks. 

“i need another,” you said in san’s direction, wiggling your can that had little liquid left in it. 

san frowns, “already?” 

you threw the last bit of liquid back, swallowing it quickly, and handed it to san. “yes, please.”

he grabs the can from your hands and turns to the group, wearing a look of irritation even if he doesn't care at all– he’ll let the act go on for as long as he deems necessary. drama queen. “anyone else need another?” 

chan and his roommates hadn’t gotten drinks yet, and yeosang needed a refill– leaving you alone with yunho, where you stood watching the random band playing on the stage. 

“the curly headed one is interested in you,” yunho comments without looking at you, voice flat as he brings his beer to his lips to take a sip. it should catch you off guard how quickly he noticed without you and jisung having any interactions so far, but you were done with being inside yunho’s head. 

you let out a sound of amusement instead, “and?” 

“just letting you know,” he looks down at you, “it seems you know already.” 

you shoot him a pointed look before turning back to the stage, the two of you falling into silence. your stomach grows warm, the drink you’d already chugged down had begun fulfilling its purpose– warming you up first and foremost, helping you forget how miserable you’d become second. 

“i don’t know what to say to you to make things better,” yunho admits, keeping his focus on the band. his mouth twists to one side, discomfort sitting on his features, you two hadn’t really spoken since wednesday. 

you came home the day you ended things with mingyu in tears, anger replacing every atom in your body as if you’d become a pot overflowing with boiling water– you lost it, all of your feelings were directed at both san and yunho. they were sitting on the couches in your living room, completely blindsided when you decided they alone were responsible for how your relationship with mingyu ended. both boys had fought you on it.

ace didn’t have it in him to mediate your argument, he had his own relationship issues to work through, instead he and yeosang watched the three of you yell at each other for minutes until you fully broke down. not once did either of them tell you to make up with mingyu, to reconsider their words, but instead they consoled you for the two week long relationship you were clearly grieving– it pissed you off even more.

after you had time to process the argument, you realized all you wanted was their approval– you wanted them to tell you to get back with him, you wanted them to like him as much as you did, as much as you do. for three days now you've been sitting with your anger, only giving curt responses around your house, spending most of your time in your bedroom, you considered not even coming today. 

you needed to get out– you needed a boyfriend before thanksgiving. 

“there’s nothing for you to say,” you shrug, then cross your arms over your chest. “even if i reached out to him now, i don’t think he’ll ever see me as anything other than an immature twenty two year old. it’s done.” 

he sips his beer again. “you are an immature twenty two year old.” you snap your gaze up at him, ready to bite back, but he continues. “that’s what you’re supposed to be, this is how it should be.” 

a dry laugh escapes you, one that lets him know there was nothing funny at all. “how it should be? at a music festival waiting for a guy to get the balls to speak to me?” 

he speaks through an exhale, “at least this guy is your age, tiny.”

you step to the side, giving yourself space from him, not wanting to slip into a fit of anger and ruin the day for everyone, you know you will if you continue the conversation. your mind whirls as you keep your gaze locked on the stage, not hearing one beat of the drum nor a single strum of the guitar, ears ringing as you try to calm yourself down. 

“i’m sorry,” he says as he steps closer, his voice quiet, only for your ears. “i didn’t think you’d be this hurt, i guess.”

“i came home bawling my eyes out and screamed at you,” you said, baffled, not fully believing him. you hadn’t argued over anything more serious than what you were having for dinner in years. “you didn’t think it hurt?” 

“i’ll stop meddling,” he pulls his lips together, forming a tight line. you see the group of boys returning to where you stood from behind yunho, drinks in tow, you turn to face the stage again. 

“you won’t have the chance to meddle again, i learned my lesson for good,” you say flatly, and he sighs. the sigh was both long and loud, he was truly defeated– he didn’t know how to handle you. you couldn’t comprehend why he felt the need to in the first place. 

“we should head to stage C,” chan says as soon as he returns, san right on his tail to hand you your drink. you were grateful yunho didn’t have the time to continue the conversation. you slap a smile on your face and thank him for the drink before asking chan who’s playing at stage C. 

chan smirks, “weezer.” 

“oh, brother,” you laugh, “let’s go.” 

you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or if you were starting to have a good time, but the time you spent watching weezer while you waited for still woozy to come on seemed to break up the dark cloud looming above you. chan stayed close, he was bleeding positive energy that you didn’t know if he was pushing onto you on purpose, or if it was just him. either way, the smile that sat on your face became more and more genuine, less forced as time went by. 

by the time you made it to still woozy’s set, you were past the level of comfortably warm and leaning towards hot. you stopped at the bar again after weezer, you were just tipsy enough to buy all eight of you a round of shots– the plan was not to get drunk, but that seemed to be the direction the day was going in, who were you to stop it? 

just before the set began, jeongin and yeosang had pulled your group by the wrists to fight through the crowd and get as close to the front as you could. you let yunho and san guide you into the mass of people, two walls of muscle and height to give you a path, the crowd didn’t bother you one bit. your smile was more than genuine now, you couldn’t wipe it off your face– this was a music festival, seeing bands you never would’ve thought of buying tickets for, a group of people gathered in one place that enjoyed the same music as you. you were already thinking of going to more. 

swaying side to side, singing a song you’d heard on repeat in yeosang’s car at the top of your lungs, you almost didn’t catch the eyes that couldn’t leave you. attached to a mop of curly brown hair, behind massive lenses, a gaze of chocolate brown accompanied by a small smile seemed entranced by you. you smiled back when you noticed, then turned your head back to the band– jisung took that as an invitation. 

walking up beside you, jisung didn’t say anything at first. his head nodded along to the song, curls bouncing across his forehead, fingers wrapped around a plastic cup. with a stomach full of vodka, you were almost excited– you wanted to encourage him, give him the confidence, tell him to say something. 

but you didn’t– and jisung still said nothing after the entire song. 

after the song ended, there was a moment of silence amongst the crowd, the inbetween waiting for the next song to play. you glanced around for your friends– yeosang and jeongin were mid conversation, yeosang’s body leaned into jeongin’s but not quite touching, his body language saying you weren’t the only one who found jeongin attractive. damn. 

yunho and jihoon stood behind everyone, the height difference between the two almost made you giggle, where san and chan stood next to them. the four weren’t speaking, but holding their drinks and watching the performance instead, all shooting you a warm look when you caught their eyes. 

you turned to jisung, “can you do me a favor?” he nodded, eyes widening slightly in surprise. “can you hold my drink while i take my jacket off, please?” 

he nodded again and you handed him your can, slightly struggling to get your jacket off over your sleeves. when you got it off, you threw it over your forearm, and jisung handed you your can back. 

“do you, uh– want me to hold your jacket?” he asked, his eyes wide and sparkling– his tone seemed unsure of his own words, but he still said them. 

“no, no, don’t worry about it,” you beamed, “thank you.”

as the next song started to play, a few strums of the guitar woke up the crowd, screams erupting around you. one of the screams had come from yeosang, who had his hands shaped in an oval around his mouth, making his yell that much louder.

you giggled and turned back to jisung who was also smiling in yeosang’s direction, “he really likes still woozy.”

“i would’ve never guessed,” he says sarcastically, his smile never dropping. “you seem to like them, too.” 

“i do, but not as much as yeo. he should be up at the barricade,” you point your chin in the direction of the front of the stage. 

“i think jeongin should go with him,” jisung shrugs, “they seem to be a pair.”

“by the end of the night someone will have to rip yeo off of him,” you joke, and jisung laughs. a soft chuckle, but you sense a wall come down, another shred of confidence popping through his reserved demeanor. you smile. 

“what about you?” jisung asks, eyes still moon-shaped, as if he was scared to ask the question. 

your eyebrows furrow, head tilting to the side, “what about me?”

“chan said you had a boyfriend, he isn't here?” jisung’s lips form a line as if he was scared to hear the answer, your face immediately mimics his, but for an entirely different reason. you didn’t think jisung knew about mingyu, unless chan filled him in and didn’t tell you. you hadn’t filled chan in on the recent developments concerning mingyu, either. 

“i don’t have a boyfriend, i’m not seeing anyone,” you shake your head and turn to the stage. jisung felt the shift in mood, stepping forward, into your view. 

“sorry if i overstepped,” he shook his head, “chan said–”

“chan didn’t know, doesn’t know, you're fine,” you give him a weak smile, and the conversation runs flat. you took the last swig of your surfside– you needed this feeling gone, as if mingyu never happened in the first place. 

“do you want another drink?” jisung asks as soon as the can leaves your lips, “my treat.” 

you give him a singular nod, and before you could process it, jisung was leading you through the pack of people. you didn’t tell a soul where you were going, you walked right through the wall of boys as if they were waiting for you to run off with jisung. where the crowd was more condensed, jisung took a pause, making you stop in your tracks behind him. 

“gimme this,” he muttered as he grabbed your jacket and your empty can, then took your hand with his free one. “stay close to me.” 

your cheeks flushed as you nodded, the heat that was already consuming your entire being only grew in temperature. maybe he’s the type that’s only shy at first. your eyes stayed trained on your linked fingers, his hands were soft, calluses on the tips of his fingers that laid over your knuckles. 

“do you play guitar?” you asked as you made it to the outskirts of the crowd, jisung took a pause that had you flipping his hand over, inspecting the tougher skin atop his fingers. 

“uh— yes,” you glance up, his cheeks pink, the ends of his curls lying along the frames of his glasses. “i make music, i’m studying composing, songwriting, all that stuff.” 

“chan told me,” you smile as you let his fingers go, nearing the feeling of cuteness aggression the more you look at him. all you could muster was a breathy “that’s cool”.

his smile grew and he tugged on your hand again, rough fingertips laid on your knuckles once more as he pulled you towards the bar. behind it was a man who you, at first, couldn’t believe was a bartender— black hair that touched his broad shoulders, a slender figure with a muscular structure that seemed too curated for bartending to be his career. a black long sleeve shirt clung to every inch of him, baggy jeans that hung loose on his hips, an outfit you’d definitely be taking inspiration from. 

his face was nothing short of beautiful, plump lips, a white smile that sparkled when he asked what you’d be drinking. 

jisung turned to you with an eyebrow raised, a questioning look. you cleared your throat, “a surfside, please.” 

“miller, please,” jisung nodded towards him and the bartender shot you another smile before he was opening your cans. you were mesmerized as he grabbed the bar key with nimble fingers, cracking the tab with practiced movements, a speed that told you maybe this was his full time career. 

jisung paid as promised and you took your time making it back to stage C happily with small talk and a lazy stride, choosing to hang at the back of the crowd instead of fighting towards the middle where you stood before. 

jisung’s presence had enveloped your mind quicker than you thought it would, once you broke the ice it was easier to talk to him, speaking as freely as you would with someone who’d been your friend way longer than just a day. you didn’t talk of anything personal, not school, your family, your friends, your interests, your intentions, but instead small talk that came too easily, standing close while you swayed to goodie bag. 

it was comfortable— it wasn’t forced, it wasn’t staged, it wasn’t planned. it wasn’t even obvious that jisung was interested in you, there were no pickup lines, no quick-witted flirting, yet you knew and you might even like it. maybe what you need right now is simplicity. 

when your friends came out of the crowd in laughter and giddy smiles, you felt lighter, the energy around you felt brighter, the air felt clearer, you almost forgot you walked into the venue miserable. with TV girl playing shortly at another stage, there was no time to stand and talk, you and jisung quickly slipped into the crowd of your friend group mid-conversation as if you never ran off in the first place. 

“what’s your guys’ favorite song?” yeosang asked the group, bouncing on his feet as you approached the already formed crowd, jeongin at his side. 

“the whole french exit album,” you were first to answer. “birds don’t sing, louise, lover’s rock, the blonde.” 

“tiny’s a romantic,” you heard san announce, and it brings a smile to your face— whether it was sarcasm or a dig you didn’t care, maybe now you were a romantic. “i only know lover’s rock.” 

“tiny?” jisung asks, turning to you, an eyebrow raised. “that’s you?” 

“unfortunately,” you nod, “been tiny since the womb, practically.” 

“fitting,” jisung smacks his lips together and flattens his brows in contemplation then quickly to understanding— you couldn’t find it in you to feel embarrassed. 

jihoon turns to chan, “you listen to TV girl a lot, right?” 

chan nods towards him, “you should know more than lover’s rock, i play their music all the time at home. better in the dark?” he glances around to empty stares, he raises his eyebrows with expectancy and sings, “the lighter makes a spark, but i look better in the dark.” 

jisung, jihoon and jeongin all simultaneously release a dragged out “oh” in remembrance, and chan rolls his eyes. he turns to you, “they don’t remember shit. too much weed, they smoke.” 

you giggle, then tilt your head to the side, an idea coming to mind. “did anyone bring any?” 

jihoon shoots you a lazy smile, “of course i did, you smoke?” 

you shake your head, “not particularly, but i’m down to.” 

jihoon reaches into his pocket, pulling out a black leather wallet, several joints tucked into one of the folds. he plucks one out, wasting no time as he holds it between his fingers, your group tightens its circle around jihoon as if he was holding gold. 

yunho eyed you from the opposite side of the circle, where you were standing between chan and jisung, he was between san and jihoon. his eyes were observing, debating, a pointed look that forced you to notice it. you shrugged him off, smoking at a music festival just felt right— you didn’t want or need him to parent you, even if you had been drinking already. 

jihoon was quick to light the twisted end of the joint, the red hot flame of his black lighter was enough to color all of your faces an amber hue. you stood like kids, huddled around jihoon like he had a secret to tell, where he took three puffs of the joint to get it burning. your eyes widened as you watched his technique, how he blew on the end of the joint to keep it burning evenly, pink lips tightened to a perfect O shape– a gorgeous sight. 

the circle opens up as you begin passing, a sweet melody in your ear and a pungent smell in your nose, forcing your body into moving to the beat. jisung, beside you, sways his hips in the same motion as yours, a fit of giggles erupting from your lungs as you move in unison. too focused on jisung, you didn’t realize chan was holding the joint out to you. 

you inhaled slowly, you hadn’t smoked since the last time you were at the frats, that had been months ago. you knew the basics, you kept your hits of the joint small, especially since you had a few drinks in you, you were never really a smoker. socially, in the kitchen of a massive frat house, or on the balcony of the only person you consistently hooked up with at school, that only lasted just shy of a month.  

the burn in your lungs and the cough that fought to break through your lips felt nostalgic, you felt so light you could float up to the clouded night sky. immediately immersed into a sense of calm, like stepping into a bath of warm water, you smiled as you passed the joint to jisung. every bone in your body told you you needed that. 

your ears perked to the conversation happening around you, yeosang, san and jeongin in some sort of debate, the joint had made its way to yunho by now. you could feel everything slow down, your eyes hooding, sitting at half mast just from two hits. 

“ah,” jisung tilts his head back in delight, “that strain fucks, hoon.” you couldn’t stop the small giggle from leaving you at fucks.

jihoon smiles, confident as ever, “right?” he looks around the group before he adds, “i grew it myself.” 

san’s jaw drops as he takes the joint from yunho, “you grow it?” 

“right in my backyard,” jihoon nods, “it’s better that way.” 

you check out of the conversation, your focus back on the crowd, not a thought in your brain, yet instead paying attention to the hues of blue and pink that lay over the crowd like blankets. you could see backs of heads and nothing more, shaded eyes not quite reaching the stage, but the light show that cascaded over the mass of people was enough. 

you almost didn’t notice the presence next to you, you hadn’t even realized you moved, as jisung planted his feet directly next to yours, your neck nearly snapped up in surprise. 

“so pretty,” he says, eyes glazed over as they stared out into the crowd, his thoughts probably matched yours. 

“the lights?” you asked, flipping your sunglasses atop your head so you could see clearer.

“you mainly,” he looks down to you and you meet his eyes, not missing the pink that kissed his cheeks, “but yeah, i guess the lights, too.” 

your own cheeks flush– this was the first he was showing interest. you smile through a giggle, “that was smooth, jisung.”

“wanna get closer?” he asks you, reaching for your hand again before you had a moment to answer. 

as he pulled you along, you asked, “are you sure you don’t want to keep smoking?” 

he looks over his shoulder and it nearly takes your breath away, he’s so cute you think you’d follow him around all night, especially if he keeps looking at you like that. as if he’d go anywhere with you, as if he didn’t care about anything else, you saw his feelings in his eyes. he was into you. he smiles, “do you?”

“let’s go,” you nod your head and pull your sunglasses over your eyes again, headed behind jisung into the crowd that was packed like sardines. mumbles of ‘excuse me’ and ‘sorry’ left him as he cut through people, keeping you close to him with a firm grip on your hand, you could feel the calluses on your knuckles so much more. 

when you made it somewhat towards the middle, a pocket of space amongst the crowd, jisung finally stopped and turned to you for approval. you put your sunglasses atop your head again, tucking your hair behind your ears, your view was so much better now. 

the music was louder, the lights were clearer, now it was just you and jisung– you weren’t sure if you were at the festival anymore or if you were up in the clouds. the only thing that could make this better would be if you could actually see the stage. you wish yunho had followed you.

as if he heard your thoughts, jisung’s voice was loud when he asked, “can you see?” 

you shook your head, “the lights are so pretty, it doesn’t even matter.” 

“you're going to think i’m crazy, don’t think i'm crazy,” he prefaces, bracing himself for rejection with a shy smile, “do you want to get on my shoulders?” 

you laugh in disbelief, loudly, looking at him with wide eyes and jaw slack. he raises his eyebrows, “you’re tiny, right?”

“i am tiny but not like that,” you wave your free hand in front of you, “i don’t want to hurt you.” 

he rolls his eyes with a cocky smile, “if you could see what was under the hoodie you wouldn’t be saying that.” 

your eyes widen impossibly further, that was the last thing you expected to leave his lips. a smirk appears on your own, “oh, now you’re confident, huh?” 

“is it working?” 

“maybe.” 

“then get on,” he squats down, your jacket still folded over his forearm but he’s careful not to let it touch the ground. you suck in a breath– this could go one of two ways, especially since you both drank and smoked, either you’ll have an incredible view or everyone will watch you fall to the dirt. 

fuck it. 

you swing a denim covered leg around his neck, slightly hopping up to straddle his nape. you giggle as you do, the action was almost sobering, the amount of focus it took you to balance. as he stood up your hands flew to his curls, the only thing you could think to grab onto to steady yourself, a slew of apologies leaving your lips after you accidentally tugged. 

“jisung!” you yelled, “i didn’t know what else to grab.” 

you could hear the shake of his shoulders as he laughed beneath your thighs, “i could make a terrible joke right now, but i’m not going to.” 

it takes you a moment to catch on, but when you do, you laugh. “nothing but a man.” 

“a man that has you on his shoulders,” he bites back, “enjoy the show.” 

you finally looked up and the stage was finally clear– shrouded in blue light, the members visible, the music so loud– it was nothing short of exhilarating. the thought crosses your mind that maybe this was what yunho was talking about, being in your twenties and experiencing, you don’t know if you would have ever made it onto mingyu’s shoulders in the crowd of a TV girl concert. you guess you’ll never know, and for the first time since wednesday, the thought didn’t fill you with dread - you supposed you have vodka and weed to thank.

instead you screamed– an excited scream, for the band, for the show, for how fucking good their music is. definitely high, more than a little drunk and nearly seven feet in the air, you were positive your night couldn’t get any better. there was nothing better than this. 

“hey!” you heard from beneath you, stealing your attention fully. jisung turns to the side, which turns you to the side, your entire friend group beneath you with wide grins and red, glossed over eyes. 

“hey guys!” you yelled back, your smile reaching ear to ear, “i’m up here!”

“we see you,” yeosang is smiling, “how’s the view?”

“incredible,” you’re gleaming, “this is so fucking cool!” 

san, yeosang and yunho all watch you with soft eyes, warmth in their bodies, you could read their emotions from their faces— superpowers only granted to those who have been friends for two decades. the other three boys stared at you with something like surprise on their faces, for that you could only guess what for, and you didn’t have the brain power to think that deeply about anything right now. you caught chan and yunho locking eyes, yunho shooting chan a dry nod as if to say ‘i told you so’.

you cocked your head to the side for a moment before the thought was gone. you take a sip from your surfside, this one going down much slower than the last ones, and ask the group, “do we have any more weed?” 

“i don’t think you need any more,” san says through an amused smile, with a small shake of his head. he was done being a drama queen. “you’ll fall off the boy’s shoulders.”

“yunho’s here,” you shrug, “he’ll catch me. did you guys know yunho is actually spiderman?” a fit of giggles slips through your lips, your head falling back in laughter. it throws your balance off, making jisung take a step back, and the whole six of them lunge forward. you grab onto jisung’s curls again, stabilizing yourself, “whoa, sorry, i’m getting too comfortable up here.” 

“you should get down,” yunho says with concern as the group walks forward, making something like a crowd around you and jisung without it being obvious it’s to catch you if you fall. “you’re fucked up, teens, you’ll fall.” 

“boo,” you frown, throwing a thumbs down in yunho’s direction. “i like it up here. did you forget you don’t get to tell me what to do anymore?” 

yunho’s jaw tightens, his eyebrows flattening. he chooses not to answer, instead yeosang steps in, saying your actual name in a warning tone. 

“what?” you ask, dumbfounded, “i just wanna watch the show.” 

you bring your attention back to the stage, one hand in jisung’s hair, mindlessly twirling chocolate covered curls around your finger as the other hand brings your surfside back to your lips. you missed the way yeosang, san and yunho shared a look, how the three of them began to realize where tonight was headed, none of them looking forward to it. 

when TV girl’s set ended you were back on the ground, staying close to jisung’s side as you walked toward stage B, excitement flooding you that jungle was next. 

“i can’t wait,” you bounced next to jisung, a wide smile on your face, “do you like jungle?” 

“love jungle,” he nodded, “back on 74? banger.” 

“my favorite is i’ve been in love,” you beam, “i know every word, i think there was a three day period where all i listened to was that song.”

“three days of one song?” he looked at you with raised eyebrows and eyes that looked like the moon hung above you, full and bright, “i would lose my mind.” 

“we listen to music differently, though,” you counter, “i bet you hear a bunch of stuff i don’t. how it’s made, background stuff, lyrics, i just like it when a song sounds good.” 

he smiles, “music’s heard differently by everyone, that’s the cool thing about it. i couldn’t live without it.” 

you groan, “a world without music?” you emphasized your words dramatically, hopefully to humor the boy who knew more about music than you ever would, “that’s called hell.” 

he laughs loudly, hunching forward a bit to catch his mouth with his hand, “i can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic.” 

“i’m serious!” you laugh too, accidentally stepping over your foot and bumping into his side, “sorry. but i am serious, i couldn’t live in a world where music didn’t exist.” 

you step into the line for the bar without even thinking or discussing that you would, you didn’t know where everyone else had gone. something about the food trucks by the main entrance. 

“have you been friends with them for a long time?” jisung asks, moving in front of you, and your eyes glaze over his figure. his clothes fit him so nicely, his hoodie perfectly oversized, jeans lying over the laces of his sneakers at just the right spot. “you seem like you’ve been friends forever.” 

“ever since i can remember, they’ve been in my life,” you nod with a smile, head tilting to the side. your eyes felt heavy. “they’re my brothers, basically.” 

“i only have one older brother,” his lips form a tight smile, “must be nice to have three.”

“four,” you correct him, stepping forward in line, “i have an actual brother, he’s my twin.”

“and you’re all friends?”

“our parents are close friends, so naturally we are, too,” you nod. wanting to change the subject, with a devilish smile you ask, “should we get shots?”

jisung lets out a huff of amusement through his nose, “can you handle shots?” 

“i fear i might need shots,” you say through a breath, you felt like you were slowing down. if you slowed down any further, the sadness would creep back in. “i’ll get this round.” 

he looks at you inquisitively, like he wanted to ask but didn’t know if he should. instead he waves you off and says, “nah, i’ll get them, if you need one so badly.”

you smile and lightly slap his bicep, “now you’re making me sound like an alcoholic, it’s just been a tough week.” 

he nods as you step forward again, one group in front of you in line. “i can understand that, this is good timing, then. the festival, and me.” 

your head snaps up to look at him like a deer caught in headlights, fumbling over your words, “no– i–”

“don’t worry about it,” he shakes his head, “let’s just have fun.” 

you take a second to close your mouth, and nod with a weak smile. he orders you tequila shots and hard liquor drinks this time– go big or go home, his words. as you sipped through a tiny straw on your way back to stage B, you realized he was right, shots and a drink drink were much needed– go big or go home, indeed. your brain was even foggier as you approached the dark stage, jungle wasn’t playing just yet, but you could see small shadows of people setting up the stage from the back of the crowd. 

“should we go up there?” you ask jisung, referring to the crowd, slurring your words ever so slightly. 

the corner of his lips lifted up into a smile, his eyes glossed over just like your own, he’s keeping up with you. “i think we should definitely go up there.”

fingers linked again, pressing through bodies in the crowd, the rest of your friends weren’t a thought in your brain. a wide smile on your face, all you could think was jisung and jungle. he was the perfect person to rip you out of whatever funk you were in. 

jisung got you both closer than you’d been the entire time you were at the festival, it was condensed but not as packed as the first twenty rows of people– you still had wiggle room. he tugged on your hand to bring you even closer to the stage, but you didn’t feel like being a sardine, you had pulled his back to keep you both in the spot you deemed perfect. he’d pulled his phone out to take a picture of the stage, most likely to send to one of his friends to let them know where you were, but you kept your phone in your purse, selfishly hoping they wouldn’t find you. you just wanted to be, here with jisung, watching the show together. 

as the lights came on, screams erupted from around you, also from you and jisung. the crowd collapsed inward, pushing you into the people in front of you– a meek yelp left your lips as people behind you pushed into you. jisung was quick to grab your wrist and pull you in front of him, wrapping his arms around your front over your shoulders, laying one wrist over another in front of you. 

you tilt your head up, fear still lingering in your eyes from almost getting crushed, “thank you.” 

he gave you a tight lipped smile and you swooned. his hoodie was so soft, so warm, his arms wrapped around you made you feel safe, you couldn’t help but lean into his touch. your back pressed to his front, your head laid back on his chest right under his chin, your fuzzy brain wouldn’t let you stop smiling. jungle opened with back on 74 and both you and jisung sang along with the rest of the crowd, swaying side to side, your heads tilted upward to watch the stage. 

you weren’t careful of how much you leaned into him, you couldn’t, that power left you a drink and a shot ago. you completely relied on jisung’s strength to keep you held up as you relinquished the little core strength you had, your fingers on one hand gripping your jacket laid on his forearm, the other holding your drink. his body was sturdy, strong, it felt good pressed against you. your lips stretched to one side, the alcohol was hitting you more than you thought it would– from how often you’d been getting laid, you’d worked up something like a routine with your body, and here jisung was. 

“you comfortable?” he asked in your ear, deep voice sending vibrations through your entire body. 

you answered with a mhm that came deep in your soul, you were more than comfortable– you wanted him. 

your mind travelled as jungle played through their setlist, three songs deep now, you began to wonder if jisung wanted you, too. you tested the waters, pressing your back into him a little harder, but he stayed solid. you rolled your head to the side, let your fingers travel up and down his cotton clad arm, humming along to the song playing. 

his hands finally moved, fingers traveling down to your waist, to your hips, moving with you. a smile grew on your lips as you kept swaying to the music, body still pressed against him– you should be embarrassed with the amount of people around you, they could be watching you, eyes glued to the way your hips were moving on jisung. the thought was fleeting, you didn’t care– jisung, wanted you, too, that’s all that mattered. 

jisung and jungle.

his head came down to reach your ear again, “you know what you’re doing, right?” 

you smiled, an innocent one that he couldn’t see, “you said let’s have fun.” 

he laughed from behind you, a quick chuckle that had your neck bending to look up at him. his smile was intoxicating if you weren’t already, his lips so pink and plump, you wondered what they tasted like. he caught your eyes, seeming like he could read your mind, but he caught your eyes as they dipped down to his mouth and back up at his own. that only meant one thing.

something unreadable crossed his face before he was leaning down, attaching his lips to yours. his speed took you by surprise, as if he mentally said fuck it, but you were even quicker to reciprocate. opening your mouth ever so slightly you deepened the kiss, warmth spreading across your body, momentarily giving you reprieve before the awkward angle and the urge to have more of him consumed you. 

your drink fell to the dirt before your hands came up to cup his cheeks, body completely turning to face him so that your front pressed to his instead. his hands came to your hips again, planted firmly against your jeans, the tips of cold pinkies slipping underneath your hoodie, the chill of his fingers making you shiver. 

it was electric– it was exactly what you needed. your favorite band playing in the background, kissing a boy you’d only met today, this is what yunho was talking about. this was being twenty two, living, experiencing, doing things for the fuck of it… you were starting to hate when he was right. 

“hey,” he said between kisses, making you pull away, catching your breath. a hand came up to wipe at your wet bottom lip as he pressed his curl covered forehead against yours, your breaths still coming out uneven. his eyes were darker, even more glazed over, you wondered how that was even possible. he smiled, that same smile that just did you in moments prior, “i like you.” 

you didn’t miss a beat as you said, “then keep kissing me,” and found his lips again. 

he took a hand up to your jaw, tilting your head back, tongue slipping through your lips. you moaned, not a care in the world for the people around you. you would’ve asked him to take you in a port a potty if you weren’t interrupted a moment after. 

“damn,” you wouldn’t have bat an eye if it didn’t come from a voice you recognized. chan was giggling as he got closer to you, “i don’t know how we even recognized you, if you got any closer you might’ve merged into one.” 

you literally jumped, cheeks flushing as if you were a child getting caught doing something they weren’t supposed to. chan wore the widest smirk on his red cheeks and you couldn’t help but scowl, crossing your arms over your chest. a grumble left your lips, “cockblocker.” 

following him were the rest of the boys one by one, slipping through spaces in the crowd to take their places around you as if they’d been searching for you. out of breath, you couldn’t help but feel disappointed as you and jisung took a step closer to one another again. you caught his eye, he wore the same look you did– horny, frustrated, disappointed. 

after your shared look you bit your lip out of annoyance, then your eyebrows shot to your hairline as you brought your empty palms out in front of you. you looked up to jisung, “where did my drink go?!”

jisung threw his head back in laughter before he pointed to the ground, your now empty cup crushed and covered in dirt. you pouted, “i dropped it?” 

“you don’t even remember?” he was still giggling, hand covering his mouth, the corners of his eyes crinkled. 

“here,” chan said, pushing his cup into your hand– whiskey, neat. you stared at the cup in your hand, face immediately falling, eyebrows furrowing and not because you didn’t like whiskey. you looked back up to chan and his eyes widened, hand lurching forward to grab it from your hands. “my bad, i’m sorry, ohmygod.”

another drink replaced its spot in your hand, a surfside, freshly cracked, still cold. you looked up to yunho in front of you, the one who put it in your hands, and he gave you a warm smile. “better, right?” 

“much, thank you,” a smile replaced your frown as you took a sip, body whipping around to watch jungle again. a heavy hand rested on your shoulder, yunho standing directly behind you. 

he bent down to your ear, much like how jisung did minutes ago, his voice lowered as he said, “pretend we’re not even here.” 

you thanked him with your eyes, body moving before you could process it, skipping to your spot in front of jisung again, where he immediately laid his arms over your shoulders. you hung your head forward, looking around for your group, jeongin and yeosang were holding hands now, san and chan standing too close for that to be nothing, yunho and jihoon silently watching the band. 

you smiled to yourself– despite being annoyed by their interruption, chan damn near pulling you off of jisung, you liked this. you liked chan’s friends being with yours, a blend of people you never would’ve expected hanging out, and enjoying it on top of it all. you wouldn’t mind if you did this more. 

as the familiar tune of i’ve been in love reverberates throughout the crowd, you gasp. “jisung!” you exclaim, your smile massive as you look up at him, “they’re playing it!” 

he beams, eyes full of warmth as he looks down at you, “they knew you were here.” 

you start rapping along, head leaning back onto jisung’s chest. to your surprise, he raps along with you, the two of you going word for word with the band. you looked up to him with shock written all over your face, the two of you getting louder as realization set in, as the song continued. you couldn’t help the stupid smile that you couldn’t wipe off your face, not that you tried– not that you even wanted to try. 

as the song nears its end, you thought over yunho’s words again. pretend we’re not even here.

if they weren’t here, you never would’ve stopped kissing jisung– you already missed his lips on yours. you tilted your head up, doe eyes to doe eyes, jisung was already staring back down at you. you smiled as you glanced down to his lips, a question on your own, one you didn’t have to ask because he wanted it, too. 

warm and soft, already slick with his spit, you could focus on how he felt this time instead of your drunken need overpowering your senses. with newfound clarity, the outcome was just as damning, getting lost in jisung’s lips was just as easy as the first time. keeping a loose hold on your can, you swung your body to face him without breaking the kiss, your other arm wrapping around his shoulder. 

“you’re so hot,” he mumbles into your lips, hands traveling up to your waist, beneath your hoodie. a chill racked through you as a soft noise left your lips, too gone to answer, too lost in the way he made you feel, the temperature of his fingertips against your skin. 

“leave with us, stay over tonight,” a statement that was also a question, jisung’s voice was heavy, a depth to it told you he needed you just as bad. 

“maybe,” you kissed him again, your voice airy, not here nor there. your surroundings had left you— it was only you and jisung in that moment, that’s all you cared about. you couldn’t think about after, you couldn’t think about mere minutes from now, all you could think was how you never wanted his lips to leave yours. 

you missed how yunho watched from his peripherals, how his eyebrows flattened, how his lips formed to a thin line. he couldn’t focus on the band in front of him, he knew you loved them, which made him love them, too, yet you weren’t even paying attention. yunho was dumbfounded— with you, with himself, with his own emotions— he didn’t know what to do. 

after decades of knowing you, his bright eyed, favorite girl, he didn’t think there was this much of you left to figure out. he’s watched you grow up, he himself grew up alongside you, he’s seen you through every phase, every change, but nothing could’ve prepared him for this one. 

random hookups throughout high school, college, none of that actually mattered— you already consumed his mind day and night, but after you started dating, he picked himself apart piece by piece, hoping to realize what you didn’t see in him. 

yunho looked to his left, yeosang was kissing jeongin now. that didn’t take him by surprise. 

yunho looked to his right, san was looking at chan with a hunger yunho had never seen in his eyes before. that should've been more surprising than it was. 

in front of the two boys were you and jisung, that made yunho want to crawl out of his skin. he saw you kissing him moments prior, he even told you to do so in other words, for a moment yunho thought maybe he was a masochist. a glutton for pain, for torture, whatever this feeling was as he stared at you, eyes closed, fingers tangled in that boy’s hair. 

yunho had to let go. he’d already fucked up, he’d already let too many of his feelings slip through the reins of his self restraint, he’s already endured you screaming in his face once, he’d die before he hurt you enough to do it again. he told himself this is just another phase, another change, you’ll come out of it smarter, more experienced, different. he can’t help but be a little scared that you’ll actually succeed in finding a boyfriend. 

as your face detaches from jisung’s to take a breather, yunho can see your glazed over eyes, your expression that read all of nothing, you’d been drinking for hours now without a morsel of food in your stomach. he’s seen you drunk, hammered, hurled over a toilet for hours on end— but you looked happy, which you haven’t in days, yunho didn’t want to interrupt but he didn’t want you throwing up in the dirt, either. 

yunho was at a crossroads. as jungle wrapped up their set and you unwrapped yourself from jisung’s embrace, your face changed, the knit of your eyebrow told him something wasn’t right. he was quick on his feet, two long strides had him at your side, asking you what’s wrong. 

“i dunno,” you mumbled, eyebrows furrowing, your free hand coming up to your face, cold palm pressed against your hot cheek. even through your mask of inebriation, he knew that look, he could read it all over you— this wasn’t about the boy, this was about mingyu. 

“let’s go home,” yunho bent down, level with your face to look into your eyes, he could see the tears before they formed. it put a knot in his stomach. 

“okay,” your voice was strained, raw. yunho felt like he’d been punched in the gut. he should've told you not to smoke, especially after drinking so much, he shouldn’t have brought you that last drink— he should’ve warned you that drinking wouldn’t fix anything. 

he looked up to jisung whose eyes were wide, eyebrows raised in confusion and concern. his voice was raised in pitch as he asked, “is she okay?”

yunho nodded quickly, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed to say she’ll be fine, don’t worry about it. your face hit his chest and he wished he could physically stop his heartbeat from quickening. years of loving you, spending time with you, being close to you, touching you— he always reacted the same. 

chan bounced over, worry in his voice, “hey, hey, hey,” he placed his hand on your back and it took every ounce of strength yunho had to not pull you away, but since chan is your friend, he’d allow it. chan leaned closer, “you okay?” 

you picked your head up to look at him, yunho couldn’t see your face but the look on chan’s told him enough, his eyebrows furrowed even further with worry. “did jisung—”

“no,” you sniffed, “it’s not jisung, just needa go home,” you slurred, shaking your head, “drank too much.” 

chan, who had heard the whole story from san earlier while waiting in line for the bar, looked up to yunho in understanding. for only knowing you a short time, he seemed to know a lot about you. yunho didn’t have the time to dissect the thought. 

yunho lifted his head up, yeosang and san already looking at him, at you, concern living in the crinkle between their eyebrows. yeosang stepped forward and yunho shook his head, knowing you’d be mortified in the morning if this became a bigger deal than it needed to be. 

“you ready to go home?” yunho tipped his chin upward in the direction of his two friends, keeping you tucked under his elbow in front of him. 

san and yeosang nodded silently, he watched as yeosang pecked jeongin goodbye, as san began walking away without another word to chan. for you, they’d do anything, they’d drop anything— it didn’t matter. 

“will you guys be okay getting home?” chan asked yunho, shoulders back, chin tilted up. 

“yeah, you?” yunho answered, already turning on his heel, barely giving chan time to respond. he needed you out of here, out of the crowd, he needed to get you air.

“tell her to call me when she feels better,” chan calls behind you, and san responds, but yunho barely hears him. 

the group of them shuffled through the crowd— why were they so deep in, anyways?— tucked under his left armpit, yunho was basically dragging you through the dirt. you were slumped into his side, mumbling something, feet barely carrying you. he debated putting you on his back. 

“what are you saying, tiny?” yeosang asked, just a step behind you, closer to your ear than yunho was. 

“my jacket,” you said a little louder, strain on your voice, “jisung has it.” a sob leaves your lips and yunho almost smiles, the fact that your jacket was the icing on the cake is so you. even completely done up you stayed unapologetically yourself. 

“should we call ace?” san asked from yunho’s other side, his eyebrows still knitted together. 

“what the hell is ace gonna do?” yunho replied, his tone curt, “let him have his weekend with reia, he doesn’t need to know. tiny will be fine.”

as you got to the outskirts of the crowd, yunho was bending down in front of you, his arms reaching behind him to hoist you onto his back. you were a deadweight, head slumped over his shoulder, arms limp around his neck. he carried you through the venue towards the main entrance without a word. 

you groaned when you finally reached the parking lot, followed by, “yun, i don’t feel good.” 

“ah, fuck,” he muttered under his breath, coming to a stop. “can you wait until we get home?” 

“put me down now,” you said hurriedly, fear apparent in your tone, and yunho bent down right away, standing back up when your sneakers hit the pavement. you crouched down, yeosang had caught it before yunho did— he stood behind you, your hair wrapped into a ponytail in yeosang’s fist as you emptied the contents of your stomach where yunho had just been standing. 

the four of you didn’t say another word until you were five minutes away from your house, the drive spent in silence— you’d spent it with your head halfway out the window, your sunglasses halfway down your nose, eyes shut. if it weren’t for the tears that streamed down your face every now and then, yunho would’ve assumed you were already knocked out.

“should i call him?” you asked the car, everyone already knew who, eyes still closed as you sat back in the cushioned seat. “i miss him, jisung was nothing like him. i wish he was there.”  

yunho was lucky you couldn’t see him— he physically winced at your drunken words. san eyed him from the passenger seat, but he paid his friend no mind. 

“we’ll talk about it tomorrow, teens,” yeosang said calmly from the backseat, sitting close to your side, his arm wrapping around your shoulders. yunho watched as you laid your head on him, you didn’t answer him— maybe you fell asleep. he hoped you did. 

san carried you inside your house bridal style and laid you on your unmade bed, but yeosang was the one who had dressed you for bed. it became his responsibility the few times he’s had to do it— an unspoken rule amongst you. 

after a hot shower, yunho decided to check on you once more before heading to the guest room for bed. you were sitting over the side of your bed, eyes closed, chugging water from the bottle he’d placed on your nightstand. he only peeked his head in, but you caught him. 

“yunho?” you asked weakly, your voice small. 

he cursed under his breath, but he inched forward, coming into view. he looked around, clothes were strewn about your floor, clothes hanging out of the hamper— he didn’t realize until then how upset you really were. “you okay, teens?” 

you mumbled a mhm then laid back on your sheets, head falling onto your pillows. you turned your head to look at him, eyes crescents, “why can’t i find anyone that’s good for me?”

yunho sighed and walked forward, sitting at the edge of your bed. “you will.” 

“kissing jisung didn’t make me feel any better about mingyu,” you paused, yunho didn’t know if you’d continue. your lip trembled, “he was good for me.” 

yunho pulled his lips into a line— as much as he hated hearing it, if that's how you felt, he wouldn’t argue with you anymore. “why don’t you try calling him tomorrow?”

you whined, then closed your eyes, pulling your duvet over your body, up to your neck. “i’m tired of being mad at you.” 

yunho smiles at that— “i’m sorry i made you mad at me.” 

“will you stay with me tonight?” 

yunho’s eyes shoot open, his lips parting, his mind running a mile a minute. “what?”

“please,” you opened your eyes a little wider, they were still glassy— he was scared you might cry again if he said no, not that he wanted to say no. 

he couldn’t ask why, he couldn’t ask any questions at all. as you pulled up the corner of your duvet, in his tee shirt, all he could muster was “okay.” 

that was a lot, if ur still here i love u. tell me how u feel so i don't lose my mind pls

8fd masterlist | main masterlist

tags: @chimivx @emmxxsworld @alisonyus @livixcore @skzswife @dawn-iscozy @yusalterego @velvetring00 @minvxq @moonlightgrleric

[charliepiperw]

I wanna do it too 01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yeah kind of 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? Idk can’t remember, probably my sister

03: Do you regret anything?

everything.

04: Are you insecure? Who isn’t

05: What is your relationship status?

sibling? Idk to who?

06: How do you want to die? Idk but I wanna at least have some control over it

07: What did you last eat? icy pole

08: Played any sports?

roller skating (that’s not a sport alone but whatever)

09: Do you bite your nails? chronically

10: When was your last physical fight?

idk 2 years ago

11: Do you like someone?

no

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? no

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? always

14: Do you miss someone?

always

15: Have any pets?

3 cats

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

idk the same as forever 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? no

18: Are you scared of spiders?

depends

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? yes

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

I haven’t

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Get ready for my birthday

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

I don’t know but if yes like 1 or 2 idk or care

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

one on either ear on my ear lobe

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

art and French (je suis fantastique)

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

yes

26: What are you craving right now?

death. Idk, sleep?

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

I’d hope not

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

no

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

maybe? I can’t tell

30: What’s irritating you right now?

my backs itchy

31: Does somebody love you?

maybe

32: What is your favourite color?

grey blue (like #92a1aa)

33: Do you have trust issues?

yes

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

my friends, myself.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

…I don’t know.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

3 strikes and you’re out.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

both are easy. 38: Is this year the best year of your life?

no, and it won’t be

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

11 (I still don’t know if I count it though)

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? no

51: Favourite food?

pizza

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

sure I guess?

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

watch arcane with my friend @ljmalone

54: Is cheating ever okay?

On a partner? No. On a test? If it’s not important.

55: Are you mean?

yes.

56: How many people have you fist fought?

0, unless it’s play fighting, then like 5+

57: Do you believe in true love? Yes/no

58: Favourite weather?

rain

59: Do you like the snow?

haven’t been in it, but yeah.

60: Do you wanna get married?

not really, that might change.

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

I hate pet names with a passion. 62: What makes you happy?

blogging/sleeping/drinking anything

63: Would you change your name? Yeah

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

probably

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

happened before, just ignored it.

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

no.

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

my friend and also my dad.

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

no idea.

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

No

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

myself, my friends (some of them, otherwise, no)

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[spideyanakin]

dancing, with tears in my eyes (c.s)

summary - district twelve! reader, when corionalus goes back to panem from the districts he has a simple rule, forget his past. But the universe does not seem to wish that, no when you get chosen for the 11th hunger games. [w.c 1.4k]

a/n - this is short I know!! and Im so sorry--but more will come if you guys like it hihi

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Coriolanus could describe himself as a lot of things.

Ambitious. He knew his need for success only grew stronger with each breath he took. Fully conscious that his constant search to climb higher up the ladder of Panem was yet to reach a stalemate.

Handsome, or so he heard. He had lines of girls ready to bend their knees upon any requests, and his looks only grew with the momentum he was gaining.

He would also like to describe himself as powerful, at least becoming. His place in the university, Dr Gaul's recent request that he joins as game master for the 11th hunger games, and let's not forget the cash-in of the plinth fortune. All of those things managed to open a door or two that he was more than willing to go through.

But forgetful wasn’t a word he would choose to fit in his autobiography.

And it pained him that as he was looking at the line of soldiers parading across the streets of the Capitol, he started to believe that 'forgetful' wouldn't be such a bad choice of adjective to add to his collection.

Maybe he started to believe the lies he had fed to the sergeant and his grandma'am when they both asked about his dog tag.

'I must have misplaced it back in the district', the simple answer that he had started to believe was slowly picking at his gut--haunting with ghostly images of its true location.

Everything in his life was finally taking its rightful place. He was proud of what he had come back to, and he would be a fool to even think of letting any crumbs of it go. He would be a fool to let himself get distracted by fantasies of what now felt like a distant, other lifetime of his.

And he surely couldn't let something as silly as affection, love--distance him from glory. Let alone love stolen from the districts.

And that was the lie that had been repeating in his mind for the past year. What he had spoken to himself every day since he had left District Twelve and the memories that accompanied the journey.

And yet, even if he had hammered it in his mind. When his eyes closed for the final time tonight--like every night as of late; the thoughts of you haunted him.

The memories of his hand in yours as you dragged him across fields. His head resting against the plush of your thighs as you both rested beneath a tree. The way your lips felt against his as you leaned for a kiss, feeling you smile when he lifted a hand to your hair, gently cupping the back of your head to pull you further in.

God, he almost wished he was back there right now, in the haven of the forest, lodged in your embrace. A place where nightmares were laughed at, where paperwork and infantile gossip did not exist.

And like every time, the dream turned into a nightmare.

Coriolanus pressing chaste kisses to your lips before pulling his dog-tag over his head, your giggles and melodic voice as you questioned him. Wondering what he was doing before he placed the item securely around your own neck, muttering a promise.

Now Coriolanus was known to be a man of his word, and as he kissed your lips for the last time, hand firmly gripping your waist and the other brushing the stray tear away from your cheek, he meant it. He truly meant it with every fiber of his being.

He would be back for you.

As his touch became stronger, hungrier than usual as he attempted to remember every shape of you, every scent, everything that he could grasp as to remember you, he promised he would do anything he could to get back to you. That once he had finished his training in District Two, he would find a way to be with you again.

But the train led him back to Panem, not to district two, and when he gazed at the passing trees--it seemed that his promise was coming to a compromise.

So Coriolanus woke up with a cold sweat, again. Like most mornings he attempted to calm his jumping heart, trying to drain the panic from his lungs.

A cold shower. A cup of coffee, single, no sugar, and the sweetness of your lips faded into distant bitterness again. He was ready, ready to live by his ambition, charm, newfound power, and now more so, forgetfulness.

~

The reaping.

Your last year eligible.

You had made it this far, you thought as you twisted the hem of your dress. A fine pink summer dress; Coryo's favorite, you remembered as you ironed it this morning.

You hadn't worn it since. The color had seemed less bright after he left... All colors did. It pained you to remove the wrinkles on the skirt, as if yet another part of him was disappearing. As if the memory of him crawling on top of you, kissing you silly as he fisted your skirt would vanish. Like the ghost of his fingers would sizzle out of your bones.

But when you looked at yourself in the mirror, you realized that maybe you were grasping at straws.

It would be ok.

He would be back, and he would be more than happy to wrinkle all your dresses again.

So you breathed a big puff of air, closed your eyes, and took the last ounces of courage left in your bones.

You felt suffocated as you stepped foot outside of your home--your body taking through the dingy pathways towards the square as if you were on autopilot.

The crowd felt different and yet somehow similar. Just like every year, the new wave of youngest children, finally of age were there, shoved towards the front as the eldest fell back further away in the crowd; tired and finally soothed from the years of nerves.

This would be your last year of it all. Of anxiously washing and scrubbing every last inch of you, finding the perfect dress and the perfect pins for your hair. Your last year of twisting the hem of your dress as you waited amidst the tight crowd. As your mother held your arm while she bit the inside of her cheek--relieved every time it wasn't your name.

You could not say that the years made you use to it.

You watched as a women, dressed in a fine crisp blue suit, freshly shipped from the capital itself walked over the stage.

Everyone realised things would be different this year. She announced it in all her perfectly manicured glory. Everyone would be chosen by someone from the capital.

She introduced herself. Perky voice floating in an echo of anxious vibrations. You barely noticed the man beside her, wickedly grinning just as much.

Her perfect, long blue nails reached towards the bowl of names.

You looked down. The pebble on the floor felt more interesting. Sighing, your eyes closed by themselves, and suddenly the smell of flowers and the sound of pebbles being thrown in the lake flooded your senses.

Your shoulders relaxed, and suddenly Coryo’s eyes were staring back at you. His hands were grazing your arms, grasping at you, pulling you forward. His lips were on your forehead, and a smile pulled over your mouth.

peace.

soon, you thought. very soon.

"Y/n L/n"

Your head shot up, breath stuck in your lungs.

Everyone was staring.

"Y/n L/n! Come on now here darling."

You heard a scream; your brother maybe, you couldn’t make it out through the ringing in your ears.

You held your head high, trying to blink out the sting in your eyes. But maybe that wasn’t enough because you felt a hot streak cross your cheek, vision blurring.

The crowd had moved around you, and suddenly you felt a push on your shoulder. Peacekeepers.

Their hands latched around your shoulder and your legs followed their movements as they accompanied you to the stage, not as graceful as Lucy Grey. It was a miracle your knees didn’t buckle under their movements.

Your eyes caught the one of your left, and suddenly the grayish blue suits made a whole new other world collapse under your eyes.

Coriolanus.

He promised he’d be back for you. Promised you’d spend the rest of your days together, wherever it was that would allow the two of you to be.

Maybe he was just as terrified as you. Watching you get pulled away from the large tv as he attended another district’s reaping.

District 2, you remembered.

[love-byers]

i’m having byler doubt rn and i can’t stop thinking about mike already knowing that will’s gay and he might’ve realized that over the few months of will being away in between s3-s4

what if the “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls” scene isn’t mike projecting but him sort of having a feeling that will likes him romantically. or mike hearing from el that will is painting for a girl he likes, and then he sees will holding a painting in the airport and realizes, that’s why he was being so awkward. and before someone says “mike saw the painting after the awkward hug with will”, what if he actually saw it the moment he walked closer to them and that’s why he pointed it out right away?

and the whole “that’s because she’s my girlfriend, will” “we’re friends. we’re friends” scene. what if he was trying to reject will without being obvious about it. i know he’s like canonically oblivious but what if he’s not?

this is me asking for reassurance/proofs that counters this because it’s bothering me sm 😭 i have some claims in my head that oppose to these but i guess it’s better to hear it from others

1. if mike was suspecting will was gay in the rain fight then he's being homophobic lmao

same dude that tried to fight a homophobe for talking bad about will takes a jab at will for being gay? what changed? why did mike become mildly homophobic between s1 and s3? bc he got a girlfriend? that's not a great message to send...

and like...come on. look at his face. he's heartbroken because will just said he used to want to spend the rest of his life with mike, but not anymore, because mike has made that out to sound outlandish and clearly doesn't want that. that should be further confirming to mike that will does have feelings for him, and he reacts like this?

and if he does suspect will has feeling for him, wtf is this?? 😭 why is he so giddy about will reaffirming what once made mike think will likes him??

2.

it seems like mike had pre planned how he was going to greet will, which was with a shoulder pat. "i can't hug him, that's weird, isn't it??" which would imply that mike thinks hugging will would be romantic....why? he hugs all his other friends normally with no hesitation. and how could he have figured out will liked him between s3 and s4 if he and will barely spoke? and if that's how he treats will when he thinks will might like him, then he's an asshole! 😭😭

and if mike suspected the painting was for him, he was noticeably upset after will said it wasn't for him

he doesn't seem very happy to have confirmation will doesn't have feelings for him 😭 and he went on to be pissy the whole day because will wasn't talking to him. why is he more worried about his platonic bro than his girlfriend?

like i just said, will not giving him the painting should ease all his worries that will has feelings for him. they're just friends. and then will goes on to ignore him all day. why would he still be in the mindset that will likes him during the rink o mania fight?

and we don't have to theorize what was going on with mike between s3 and s4 and at rink o mania. he tells us

"thanks by the way."

"for what?"

"for knocking some sense into me, i mean was being a total self pitying idiot."

during the rink o mania fight, will is knocking some sense into mike. he's saying will was right about everything.

"hey also, about the last few days--"

"you don't have to say anything. i was being a total jerk to el, i deserved it."

"no. no you didn't deserve anything. listen, the last year has been weird, you know?"

mike goes straight from his behavior towards will to how he felt during their time apart. so the two are connected, clearly, since mike is telling us

"i mean max and lucas and dustin, they're great, they're great, it's just...it's hawkins it's not the same without you. and i feel like maybe i was worrying too much about el...i don't know, maybe i feel like i lost you or something."

mike was acting that way because he desperately missed will and felt like will had left a hole in his life. home didn't feel like home anymore. he was torn up inside over it. and he worried that will wasn't reaching out because of how he'd treated will over the summer (ditching him to hang out with el), and that he'd lost will because of that. he's kicking himself, hating himself because he screwed it all up. and he thinks that at the same time he is torn up missing will, feeling all these big feelings about him, will is unbothered, off making new friends. not only does this make him feel like he's feeling too much for will, but he shifts the blame onto will (because he's a self pitying idiot). he feels like it's his own fault, so he projects onto will and makes it wills fault. he doesn't reach out because he thinks will has grown up and moved on like mike had been encouraging him to do all summer, and he doesn't want will to know about all these deep feelings he's having, like will has left a hole in his life, so he doesn't reach out either. he doesn't want to come off desperate. he begins questioning the nature of his feelings towards will, worrying that it's something more than just friendship. if will doesn't care, why does he? why does he care so much?? what's wrong with him??

so he goes on defense. he is not going to let will know how he's been feeling, he's going act aloof. he's going to act like he doesn't care. we are just friends. i don't feel anything more for you, will. see? i don't even want to hug you, i am very clearly your platonic bro. see, everyone? see, el? see, jonathan? i'm straight and he's my platonic bro friend. he's making a spectacle out of it, because grappling with internalized homophobia. he feels like he needs to prove that he's straight.

however mike is a dumbass and instead of realizing that he was way too in his own head. and considering that treating will that way might hurt his feelings, he just gets angry that will isn't treating him the same. will isn't talking to him. will is acting glum. why?? how does he have the audacity to act sad?? this is all his fault in the first place!! if he hadn't gone off and forgotten about me and made me feel this way then none of this would've happened!! he's got to be doing this on purpose!!

and then in the rink o mania fight, it ticks mike off even more because now will is acting like he did nothing wrong. and then:

"well what about us?"

"what?"

uh oh. this is what mike feared. us?? what about us?? there is no us, that's a romantic thing, and we're friends, totally just friends.

"you called maybe a couple of times. it's been a year, mike. meanwhile el has like a book of letters from you."

"that's because she's my girlfriend, will!"

if mike had sent will letters, it would've been gay...? why? actual straight guys don't have to go out of their way to not be gay💀💀

"and us?"

"we're friends! we're friends!"

mike takes this as will asking what the nature of their relationship is, because that's what mike had been doing the whole time they were apart. it was already fresh in his mind. he was being hypervigilant. but that backfires, because will wasn't questioning that. he merely misses their friendship, because will thinks that's all they'll ever be. if he can never have mike romantically, he at least wants to preserve their friendship.

will never questions the nature of their relationship. he thinks he's got it all figured out. he likes mike, but mike is straight, and that's how it'll always be. they will always be just friends. meanwhile mike is still being a disaster with internalized homophobia, questioning his own feelings and projecting it onto will. he's confused and scared and messy as fuck.

but will knocked some sense into him. will made him realize that all this defensiveness and projection was hurting them. will isn't playing with him, will isn't out to get him, will hasn't moved on from him. will still cares, and mike can just be honest with him. so he is, and that's how we get the talk in wills room. mike is honest and vulnerable and puts it out there that he just misses will and wants to be best friends and stick together. and at the end of the day that's all will wants too.

and also, about mike trying to reject will by saying we're friends, again that's a pretty aggressive and homophobic-ish way to do that don't you think? if mike has will all figured out why is he being an asshole?? most people who suspect a friend has feelings for them do not go on attack mode and shoot down every advance the friend makes, even if they're just platonic. that's the behavior of someone who is projecting

here are some other posts i've made about this topic:

here

here

here

here

here

stay strong my fellow byler warrior, this battle will be over soon

[riptides-n-roses]

fresh meat - the shield (18+)

⛧ pair: the shield (jon moxley/dean ambrose, seth rollins, and roman reigns) x reader [i know he goes by mox now but i’m calling him dean for this one]

⛧ tags: @88changemymind @reigns-prophecy @cyberdejos2 (please let me know anytime if you'd like to be tagged in recent or future works.

⛧ warnings: primal play, kidnapping cre@mp1es, unprotected p in v, @nal (you're welcome), oral (m! and f! receiving), foursome (f/m/m/m), exhibitionism, lots of positions, degrading (my specialty), edging, overstimulation, orgasm denial [future warnings may be updated in this ff] as always minors should not interact ♡

⛧ sorry I haven't been active - I been busy with college and a recent trip to Germany: I always had a little fantasy of these 3 being dominant in a "certain" kind of way. Also I will go ahead and apologize if this isn't my best work - I've never had any bad writer's block like this and this the first time I've written a foursome so my apologies if it's a bit hard to understand.

⛧ the shield took out lots of the lockerroom; you however were in front of their next target. They surrounded you and were thinking of what to do you as punishment for getting in their way.

⛧ word count: 3.8K

How did you get here? How did you find yourself like this? The Shield were already pissed off about whatever the chairman told them but why you? Why were you surrounded by those three?

You quivered in fear as The Shield stared at you. Ambrose smirking, Rollins checking you up and down, and Reigns looking deep into your eyes.

"What do you think, boys?" Dean asks his fellow brothers. "What should we do with her?"

“I don’t know, Dean.” Roman replied, annoyance in his tone. “I’m getting irritated from her looking at us.”

You shivered from Roman’s words. You never thought you’d see yourself in this position - three hungry wolves lurking around you like they found their next meal. You sweated, praying that they won’t hurt you. But why you out of all people?

.•°☆.⋆｡⋆☆•˚｡⋆｡˚•☆˚｡⋆.☆•°.⋆

An hour earlier…

The Shield was pissed at Triple H for screwing them over for a tag team championship rematch. They’ve been begging to get this opportunity since their reunion.

They’ve already put many superstars through the announce tables and anything else they could attack other male superstars with.

You, a female superstar, were minding your business, getting ready to support your best friend, Naomi since she had a match for the women’s championship. While getting ready to meet her, you noticed a good friend of yours, Drew McIntyre, being part of the Shields main targets. Of course you couldn’t stand there and not protect your friend.

You noticed Seth about to make a sneak attack on Drew and you immediately blocked him from landing a hit on Drew. Seth was stunned seeing you try to stop what The Shield was all about - justice. And they sure had a way of making it known. You froze, asking yourself, "What were you thinking? You stopped a member of The Shield?! That's asking for a funeral." But you didn't want to show you were afraid, your face remained as emotionless as you could.

Drew didn’t say anything and left, a little amused from your small act of protecting your friend. In that space was just you and Seth. Seth began to smile and laugh at you, not believing you would stop any member of this faction.

“Sweetheart, there’s absolutely no way you’re trying to stop me. Either you be a good girl and move out of my way or you’re going to regret it.” He threatened, looking at your face. You felt offended from what he called you and didn’t move a muscle. It was stupid to do what you were doing, but your body was telling you to stay still.

When Seth saw you wouldn’t budge, he sighed and chuckled. You don’t know why he was laughing but you wouldn’t dare to ask.

“Welp, I tried to warn you.”

Those were his last words when two figures emerged from the dark - his other brothers, Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns. Your eyes widened as you realize your situation, three on one. You walked back slowly, backing yourself up to a wall. The three now surrounding you - making sure you wouldn’t escape from them.

.•°☆.⋆｡⋆☆•˚｡⋆｡˚•☆˚｡⋆.☆•°.⋆

Which leads to now. You felt your stomach drop as Seth approached you slowly, reaching his gloved hand out to your face, lifting your chin up with his finger.

“I’d say we punish her for getting in our way - making our next target get away.” He finally spoke, his other hand reaching to gently cup your face. “What do you think we should do, gentlemen?”

Dean and Roman both look at each other and smirked, both sharing an idea. “I think we should make her regret messing with us.” Dean replied. “We should ruin that pretty little face of hers.” Roman chimed in.

“I agree.” Seth chuckled. “Y’hear that? We’re gonna punish you.”

Your eyes widened. Punish? What did they mean? You lost your train of thought when you were suddenly picked up by Seth, him placing you on his shoulder.

“Put me down!” You yelled, landing punches on Seth.

“Oh you’ll have to try harder than that, sweetheart.” He mocked. “You’re ours now.”

You squirmed trying to become loose from his grip as the three men carried you away, putting their plans on beating up the whole locker room on pause.

.•°☆.⋆｡⋆☆•˚｡⋆｡˚•☆˚｡⋆.☆•°.⋆

You were brought to an empty room, only decorated with a couch and a table, Seth finally putting you down from his shoulder.

You quivered as you watched Dean closing the door and locking it, keeping his eyes on you. It was now just the four of you in a room, without anyone interfering with whatever they wanted. You took a step back as they began to approach you. You were scared to your wits - afraid of how they were with anyone who dared cross them, you were shaking as to what they wanted from you.

“Look at her, boys. She’s afraid of us being in front of her. How adorable.” Dean chuckled flattered that you found them intimidating.

“Awww what’s the matter, sweetheart?” Seth asked. “Scared of us? You think we’re gonna hurt you?”

“Cmon, babygirl. Don’t be shy~” Roman chimed, waiting for you to answer.

You gulped, too stunned to speak.

“Y-Yes…” you replied.

You watched the Shield smile, finally getting a reaction out of you. You felt humiliated with your situation. You just wanted them to leave you alone so you could go home.

Dean approached you, completely in front of you and looking into your eyes. You shivered feeling him go to the crook of your neck, getting a smell out of you. You held your breath feeling one of his rough calloused hands touch your waist, making their way slowly up your body. Dean hummed in approval, taking note of how sensitive you were with his gentle touch. You gasped when you felt his lips gently kiss your skin, his hand now intertwined with yours. Dean chuckled to your noises as he kept kissing your neck, obsessed with your scent.

“What….what are you-“

“Shhh. Relax, doll. I’m not going to hurt you.”

He was gentle with his tone - a bit too gentle. It was slightly erotic. With his other hand, he motioned for Roman to also get a smell of you. Roman smirked and made his way behind you - his hands going under your shirt. You shivered from how cold they were. You bit your lip when you felt them go in your bra cupping your breast, giving them a squeeze. You closed your eyes tight feeling Roman gently biting your ear. Seth was amused to you trying your best not to submit to their touches and kisses, he admired seeing how you were pathetically trying to not give a reaction.

“Don’t be scared, sweetheart.” Seth laughed, watching his fellow brothers make a mess of you “You can make noise. Only us will hear you.”

“Aww is someone shy?” Dean cooed “You don’t have to be afraid.”

“Go on, babygirl.” Roman ordered

You accidentally left out a moan as you felt Dean bite harder into your skin - Roman squeezing your breasts a bit harder, playing with your nips. Your free hand went around Dean, pulling him in closer onto you. As much as you were afraid to admit it, you were getting turned on. You felt yourself getting damp to multiple kisses and hot breaths surrounding you.

“Please…I..” You tried to talk, feeling intoxicated from being touched and kissed.

“What is it, babygirl?” Roman asked “You want some more?”

“Don’t be scared, doll. Tell us what you want.” Dean added, his hand slowly going down your crotch. Your breath was shaky as you tried to open your mouth.

“I…oh fuck…I want more.” You replied, feeling a bulge being pressed against your ass. You moaned from Dean’s hot kisses all over your neck, Roman having his hands gripping your sides and continuously rubbing his bulge on your ass, still playfully biting your ear.

“Hmm, good girl” Dean whispered, getting turned on from your submissive voice.

You whined when Dean stopped toying with you, stepping back as Seth was in front of you now.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. We’ll be gentle with you.” Seth chuckled, cupping your face as he pressed his lips against yours, both of your tongues fighting for dominance. Your muffled moans and pleas turned on the three hungry men. You felt sandwiched between Seth and Roman, feeling them kiss all over you.

“Yknow…this gear of yours” Roman started, before he lifted your top up “Has always distracted me whenever you walked past us.” Before you could speak, your top was off, being completely naked from top. You shivered from your naked breasts being exposed to the air. You watched as Seth’s eyes grew hungry with lust seeing your hardened nipples as he began to play with one of them, making you whine from his touch.

“I…I don’t understand.” You started, feeling Roman place gentle kisses on the back of your neck. “I thought you three were going to literally hurt me…”

“Hurt you?” Seth was surprised from your statement “Oh no sweetheart we could never. Isn’t that right boys?”

“She’s too pretty for that” Dean smirked, admiring how sensitive you were.

“And these bottoms…” You felt one of Roman’s calloused hands make their way to your waistline, teasing part of your bottoms “They always hugged your curves in all the right places..” You yelped feeling your bottoms quickly come down, revealing your laced underwear. You were now nearly nude in front of the three behemoths, your body shivered from the sudden temperature change.

“Oh? What’s this?” Seth teased, his hand making his way to your clothed cunt, “Lace? Were you expecting this, sweetheart?”

As you opened your mouth, you felt Seth’s hand make small circles on your clit, sending a wave of vibrations down your spine. You were already wet from being kissed and toyed with from Dean and Roman, but feeling Seth play with your clit made you wetter and needy for more.

“You’re so wet, baby…” Seth whispered, his hand going faster on your clit. You whined from his touch, your eyes tightly shut. You felt so small under their touch and dominance.

You were shaking, you've never felt this kind of sensation before and it was driving you wild. Your whimpers felt like music to their ears, enjoying every sound you made whenever they touched you.

What seemed like eternity, Seth finally stopped playing with your cunt, admiring your juices being all over his fingers, Roman backing away from behind you. You were confused as to what they were going to do next.

"I always wondered what do you taste like, sweetheart"

Before you could say anything, you were placed on the couch, your legs spread wide open. You watched The Shield admiring your clothed cunt. You were scared to make a noise as Seth slowly made his way toward you, his hands gently pulling your underwear off.

"Are you scared? Pathetic. You weren't so scared in stopping us earlier. What happened to that brave little soul?" he teased, forcefully spreading your legs wider to a better view of your wet cunt.

You couldn't answer, your breath hitched feeling a warm tongue circling your clit. You couldn't move your legs much as Seth kept them open.

"F-Fuck.." you cried, your eyes shut from the waves of pleasure, you melting in front of the three. You amused them, they've never seen you so submissive like this before.

"What a good little slut..." Seth muttered, his gloved fingers circling your clit as his tongue went in you.

Dean and Roman watched in admiration but a little jealous that they weren't having their way with you just yet.

"Please...I...I want to-"

"You're not going to cum until I tell you too, understood?"

You cried from Seth's orders, feeling your stomach tighten and winding up. You whined when he stopped, unable to cum without their permission.

"I thought of something else."

You were confused by what he meant, until he motioned for Dean, making his way towards you. You were swiftly put on your knees, ass up in front of Seth. You looked up at Dean, his eyes hungry for you.

"You're going to be a good girl and take the both of us. Got it?" Dean asked, his hands removing his belt and black pants. You quickly nodded, not saying a word.

"I'm sorry, are you going to address him correctly?" Seth muttered, delivering a harsh slap on your ass; you yelped from the pain, your mind going white for a second.

"Yes...Yes sir."

Dean smirked and pulled down his boxers, revealing his thick cock. Your eyes widened from how big he was, you were worried as to how you were going to fit him all in your mouth. You lost your train of thought when you felt Seth's fingers playing with your clit, you gasped from how rough he was being.

"Open your mouth, whore"

Dean roughly grabbed your cheeks, forcefully pushing his dick in your mouth, your eyes forming tears as you gagged on his length, his tip touching the back of your throat. Seth, growing impatient, pushed himself into you, your cunt throbbing from being stuffed.

Your moans were muffled as you felt another slap across your ass, Seth thrusting in and out of you. You whimpered feeling Seth's hands roughly grabbing your sides, Dean grabbing a handful of your hair.

"God damn, you're such a slut" Dean groaned, His free hand roughly grabbing your face "You're doing so good."

You whimpered from how you were being manhandled from the two, trying to grasp for air.

"You're taking me so well, sweetheart." Seth praised, delivering another slap on your ass. The two men getting sloppier with each thrust. You felt your stomach tighten, you were getting desperate to cum.

"Look at me." Dean ordered, raising your face up, "You were wanting this for a while weren't you?" You nodded, afraid to disobey him. He smirked, biting his lip. "You're so cute."

Your eyes rolled back as Dean and Seth went harder and faster with their thrusts, you knew they were going to cum soon, your stomach getting tighter and tighter.

"I'm going to cum in your mouth, are you ready?"

You nodded to Dean, gagging from his length.

"Me too, sweetheart" you heard Seth groan, his hands grabbing your ass. "I'll let you cum, okay?"

You whined, finally wanting to be filled with cum. Your stomach beginning to wind up.

"Fuck..." Dean growled, thrusting one last time before filling your mouth with his cum.

You reached your orgasm too, your cries tighten your pussy as Seth thrusted into your cunt, his seed explode deep in you. The three of you rode out an orgasm, your body shaking from the round of sex. Dean pulled his cock out of your mouth, letting you breathe while Seth slowly pulled out of you, your pussy leaking his cum. Dean grabbed your face, leaving hot kisses all over you. "You're a good slut...but you know we aren't done. Roman hasn't had a turn yet with you."

You slowly turned to see an impatient Roman staring at you, smirking as you knew he was going to be aggressive with you. You yelped from Seth smacking your ass one more time before standing up, Dean giving you one more kiss before he also gotten up.

"She's all yours, Roman."

As Dean and Seth stood back, Roman took his time making his way toward you, admiring your flushed face and your submissive position. He gently cupped your face with his hand. He smirked looking into your eyes, listening to your heavy breathing.

You were scared as he remained silent, thinking of what he wanted to do to you. You didn't want to question him since he wasn't that much of a talker. What seemed like forever, he smashed his lips onto yours, catching you off guard from his swift movements. You whined as both of your tongues twirled against each other. His free hand slowly making its way to one of your breast, playing with your nipples. You whined from his touch, rough but gentle. You knew this wasn't what he really wanted.

He finally pulled away, allowing your lungs air. His eyes never leaving yours. He gently stroked your face, still not saying a word. Why wasn't he saying anything? Was he already getting bored? What was he planning?

You looked down and saw a massive bulge in his pants, your eyes widening. "How is he going to fit that in me?" you thought to yourself. He took noticed and chuckled, amused to how shocked you were.

"How cute..." Roman muttered.

You were startled to his tone, finally hearing him speak. He swiftly put you on your back, your cunt being in front of him. You watched as Roman undid his belt and his pants, revealing his huge, veiny cock. "Holy...fuck" your thoughts were full of concern. You felt as if he was going to rip through you.

He positioned himself, not breaking eye contact and keeping your legs open, watching your face expressions carefully. You gasped feeling his tip tease your clit, throbbing for attention. You could feel your face getting warm.

You whined as he roughly pushed himself into you, your walls tightening from how thick he was. He made sure you adjusted to his size before thrusting roughly into you, grunting from how tight you were.

"Fuck, babygirl..." his groans hypnotized you, your eyes never leaving his, your tits bouncing with each thrust. He leaned toward you, pressing his lips against yours again, you wrapped your arms and legs around him. You were surprised he wasn't being as rough as you were thinking. You felt it wasn't really what he really wanted to do with you just yet.

He pulled away from your lips, wanting to look into your eyes again.

You shut your eyes tight from how good you felt, You gasped as Roman grabbed your throat, limiting a bit of air.

"Look at me baby. Look at me while I fuck you."

You opened your eyes again, obeying Roman as he thrusted harder into you, your legs pathetically trying to close themselves. It was too much for you to handle.

"You're so beautiful like this."

His praises were erotic. You couldn't talk much as his grip went a little tighter on your neck. You felt your stomach slowly tighten. You gasped his thrusts went faster into you, you were trying to grab his arm that was around your neck. Roman quickly intertwined his hand with yours, preventing you from releasing his grip.

"I wouldn't do that, babygirl."

You cried feeling your stomach getting tighter, his thrusts getting sloppier.

"Do you want to cum, baby? I'm getting ready to." He growled, holding back from cumming in you too quickly.

"Ye..Ye..Yess" Your words were limited, feeling yourself getting closer to your limit. He smirked and released his grip on your throat, letting you breathe.

"Fuck baby...I'm gonna cum"

You sobbed, cumming all over his cock, one last thrust before he came in you, your eyes rolling back, shaking from your second orgasm. Roman kissing you one more time before pulling out of you, he smiled looking how exhausted you were.

"We're still not done."

You felt your stomach dropped from those words. Not done? What else could they have wanted? You look back and see Dean and Seth coming toward you and Roman, having another idea.

Roman smirked and helped you up, having another thought in his head. Just then, you were picked up for a second, Dean now laying on his back, you on top of him, Roman behind you and Seth in front of you. You knew where this was going. You whined feeling Dean push himself into you without warning, Roman teasing your ass before slowly pushing his tip in. You were about to scream before Seth put his dick in your mouth, muffling your cries. You never felt stuffed like this before. It was a little painful, but you didn't mind. Your shut your eyes tight as the three men began to thrust into you, you feeling so full to a point you've never felt before. The sounds of groans and skin slapping filled the room, it was too erotic for either of you to handle. You never had sex like this before but it didn't bother you.

"How's this, y/n? Us filling you up like this?" Seth laughed as he cupped your face, watching your eyes roll back, his other hand grabbing a lot of your hair roughly.

You could only let out a few muffled whimpers and cries, begging to be fucked rougher.

"This is what happens when you cross us, y'hear?"

You gasped as Dean began playing with your tits, making you overstimulated, sure to cum soon. Roman was now the one delivering harsh slaps on your ass, even harder than what Seth did earlier. Tears formed in your eyes from the overbearing pleasure. It was too much yet it felt too good to stop.

Their thrusts gotten harder and disgustingly faster, your stomach tightening quicker than the last few times. Your breath gotten quicker from each thrust. Seth took notice and grabbed your face forcing you to look at him.

"Fuck...I know you're about to cum but you're not going to yet, slut."

You whined from his demands, trying desperately hard not to disobey him from cumming too quickly. Your body felt like jello, it was unbearable to keep still in the same position due to the amount of pleasure: Seth's tip always touching the back of your throat with each thrust, Dean hitting your sensitive spots, and Roman stuffing your ass with his cock. It was a lot to handle.

You were getting impatient, your whines growing loud from your upcoming orgasm, it was starting to hurt holding it.

"I'm getting close, fuck...I'm about to cum in you, baby." Dean growled, his grip gotten tighter on one of your breasts.

"Same here. You still holding it, hmm?" Seth asked you, your eyes blurred from tears. You quickly nodded, it was really starting to hurt holding your orgasm."

"Shit, I'm about to cum." Roman muttered, his thrusts getting sloppy.

You cried out releasing your orgasm on Dean's cock, Your vision going white. Dean followed behind, filling you up with his cum. Roman forcefully grabbing your sides, his seed burst into your ass, and Seth cumming down your throat. The four of you rode out a rough orgasm. Seth finally pulled out of your mouth, keeping his tight grip on you keeping eye contact. Your breath was scarce, finally having some time to breathe. Both Roman and Dean pulled out of you, still staying in their position, all of you breathing heavily from the round of sex. Your body was shaking, shivering from how rough you were fucked, cum leaking from both of your holes.

Seth chuckled, amused from how completely exhausted you were now, giving you a rough kiss on your lips.

"This was your punishment."

[gyaruhana]

HEYHEYYYYYY!!! I know requests are closed, buuuut... my mind has been going crazy thinking about a yandere Min su. Ik he's a cutie patootie but, UGHHH. Am I the only one who sees him as having yan potential?? Idk, but I NEED him as a yan. 😭

Min-Su/Player 125 - Yandere!Min-Su Headcannons

Synopsis: minsu as a yandere..

A/N: i hear you and i see you. he could so be a yan ugh !!

Warnings: yandere content, smut content, kinda short..

➠ Min-Su is sort of like a stray puppy honestly..

➠ he stalks follows you around constantly but never gets too close

➠ he's more on the quiet side so he doesn't really think about going up to you and talking to you

➠ he instead opts for the much creepier move which involves watching you every single day and night

➠ you'll see him everywhere but he's careful enough to make it look like a coincidence so you'll never suspect anything more

➠ he might be a bit of a push over but do NOT mistake that for him being weak..

➠ he's not afraid to get his hands dirty if he knows he can get away with it

➠ he's very much driven by the fear of losing you to someone else and fear makes him do a lot of bad things

➠ If he's able to, he'll kill whoever poses a threat to his chances with you and then burn the body

➠ However, if he can't, he won't hesitate to kidnap you instead

➠ he's so sloppy when he tries to kidnap you because he's doing it out of sheer panic he might lose you

➠ takes three tries before he successfully does it and takes you to his place

➠ he's nervous when you first wake up tied to his chair and tries to be very gentle so you'll like him more but quite quickly gives that up when he realizes you won't change your opinion now that he's kidnapped you

➠ he's still nice.. he loves you and doesn't want to hurt you but he will get upset if you annoy him too much

➠ he will keep you tied to a chair but he'll tie you to his bed at some point for cuddles (he's clingy)

➠ like i said, he's so stray puppy core

➠ he always wants to please you and keep you happy because you're the prettiest girl he's ever seen and he's so hopelessly in love with you

➠ he won't let you leave the house though

➠ On the bright side, he will feed you amazingly !!

➠ 5 star meals all the time and he will not settle for anything less for you

➠ he wants to reward you all the time for being perfect

➠ he also wants to be rewarded with physical touch like head pats

➠ on a more sexual note..

➠ he will top but he is still submissive

➠ he's just on top because he gets nervous you'll try run if he unties you

➠ he's quiet for the most part but he whines every now and again

➠ so so sensitive he literally can't handle teasing

➠ and yet he overstimulates himself every time anyway

➠ he also cries easily

➠ I feel like it's important to mention he'd wait for you to come to him for sex

➠ he's patient and isn't super eager for sex.

➠ as long as he gets cuddles, he's happy

➠ overall, really gentle yandere but does get his hands dirty

"I'm really sorry but I couldn't let him take you from me," Min-Su spoke as he gently caressed your cheek with his thumb. Min-Su never meant if for it to happen like this. He'd rather be on a date with you instead of having you tied up to a chair in his house. However, that guy he saw you with last sunday looked like he was about to sweep you off your feet and Min-Su just couldn't have that. Ideally, he would've just killed the guy like he did the last few that risked his chances of stealing your heart. Unfortunately, Min-Su knew he'd be no match for that guy so he had to do the next best thing; kidnap you. Even if his heart ached at your tears of fear, he knew this was for the better. You were all his now. "Don't cry, please. It's alright. I won't hurt you - not when you're mine,"

[0ann3]

It's Yuri x2 ALKJSHADKJHS (I'm so sorry if I accidentally did a double tag bcs I made a mistake on the previous post TToTT)

Anyway, obsessed with this AU that I couldn't help but also try after checking out others' OCs!!! I was supposed to only do one of them, but I've reached the point where these two cannot be separated and I must also throw the other if I'm using them in an au lolol

And I am very thankful for the full body pose references available in the drawing app I'm using since I can't properly draw figures in my phone-

More info about them under the cut (like, it's a lot of random ramblings and a huge wall of text that I'm going to apologize in advanceeee)-----

First of all, for the sake of my sanity, I will call Yuri Takeba as "Yu" and Yuri Haruto as "Yuri" LMAO

I think both of them really wouldn't mind if Quartz does something suspicious right in front of them. But.

If she kills in front of Yu, they would literally pretend that they saw nothing, laugh it off nonchalantly and will not tell anyone about it. While they look very calm, they are definitely going to try avoiding her as much as possible.

If she kills in front of Yuri, then he's going to tackle her down and turn her in to the authorities. Despite appearances, he is pretty strong and can fight multiple people at the same time. Also, for Yuri's second additional information, it's more like if his friend got hurt/killed in Quartz's schemes, then he'll do some investigations and gather evidences to confirm if she's the one who did it, and he'll either report her or take revenge.

Then for more info abt them in this AU!!!:

For YU

Their inventory simply consists of pen, their phone, and camera. They're simply using the camera since they thought it'll be a waste to leave it home collecting dust, and now they're taking random pictures to reminisce at in the future (but if something bad happens at school and they get to witness it firthand, then they're going to stop using it.) They're more of a random background npc who's there to fill the space in the academy. Their reputation is a bit neutral since they rarely do anything to stand out. They like causing mischief and teasing others, but only to those they know well/they're at least friends with .

For YURI:

His inventory consists of his phone and a swiss army knife. He doesn't really use the swiss army knife, nor show it around others. He thinks it could be useful for emergencies, but still doesn't pull it out when he needs to cut something and the scissors are missing. He's an npc that becomes more troublesome when more suspicious things happens. Neutral reputation, although his is a bit lower than Yu because how does he know other's usual schedule/routine???? Crush is also "???" because there's a small chance that he might admit to himself that he likes Azul? (Like, dang, I can't believing I'm outing the plans I had for this character in this AU and not on the more detailed info about my OCs LMAO) (It's a pure coincidence because on the personal fanfic that I wrote with him as the MC, he had like, a nice dynamic with Azul that I couldn't help but ship them as I go along with the story ToT) (But in this AU, as much as he would probably like to try asking him out, he thinks that he doesn't deserve such happiness and it'll be a waste if he ends up with him, that he uses an excuse of 'it's troublesome to try when there's so many girls wanting to ask him out already', so he's going to stick sa an npc) (In that small chance where he does became a rival though and he became protective of Azul, I think his elimination method would involve kicking him out of school or discovering one of his biggest secrets.)

Oh, and Yu wouldn't mind being called Takeba (because wow, there's so many people with Yu in their names-), but Yuri doesn't like being called by his last name that he'll most likely request to call him by first name or by a nickname (he has a good relationship with his family dw. It's more of something along the lines that he doesn't think that he lives up to his family name so he's trying his best to become someone who does)

No Yandere Simulator ? (TWST AU)

AU Information:

This AU takes place similar to Yandere Sim but with Twisted Wonderland but Taro is Azul and Ayano is Quartz. Her goal is to eliminate… AZUL ASHENGROTTO. Yeah, her goal is actually to kill Azul and NOT the rivals. The rivals being your OCs/sonass and they have to protect Azul from Quartz and her dumb elimination plans.

More info on Quartz + Tweels info

Q&A for OCs!!!

This is an AU just for fun!! lol I just had a silly idea. Here’s a template if you wanna make your own oc into the AU (rival or not)

ALSO THEY DONT KNOW IT'S QUARTZ bc she's just a nobody girl

Bro you can tell I was hella lazy with Azul idk he’s too much

Rival List:

Romeo by @skrimpyskimpy

Shuu by @oya-oya-okay

Chiyo by @inotonline

Sable by @twsted-void

Jovie by @jovieinramshackle

Finn by @thehollowwriter

NPC/Non-Rival List:

Elfie by @quartzelfgf

Higashikuramori Shin by @liyuviq

Jade Leech

Floyd Leech

Rizy by @rizdoodls

Yuuki by @theolivetree123

Joseph by @readsrandomstuff67

Yuubeni by @bunniehunn

Yuya by @cheerleaderman

Shuu and Silly by @sillybillymillyrilly

Superstar!! By @imafrealinrainbow478484

Viz (Vizzie) by @twistedwonderlandshenanigans

Yuhua by @distant-velleity

Nyx by @blackcat101

Gia by @ramshacklerumble

Yuuko by @silkkorchid

Moch by @thatsadguymochi

Faye by @faerieluvss

Yukana by @babyghoul138

Antoinette by @antoinettedoodles

AJ by @karamatsuboy-aj

Evelyuu by @h0neybane

Paloma and Hydris by @mhedusard

(Let me know if I made a mistake lol)

[mandy-asimp]

Florida Secrets

Jennifer Jareau x reader

The request was to base it off of touch tank by quinnie. Idk if I got lost deep into plot or waaa but there is references to the song.

Warnings: language, smut, teasing, alcohol usage (everyone's legally dw, ik you were)

For @emilyswhore sorry it took me like pushing 3 weeks I love getting lost in plot to avoid smut sometimes😭😭

You're too good of a friend, that has to be your issue. You put yourself in the friend-zone because you're such a good friend. Even now as you were up before the sun helping the Jenifer Jareau pack up the car to begin the drive down to Florida. Everyone was planned to meet before dinner at eight the same night. Not to forget how you offered to drive first so she could sleep longer.

She had tried to fight you on it, saying she'd take the first shift but with how quiet you were in the morning she knew it wasn't going to work in the end. You were quiet enough to get the keys before she'd even noticed.

"Alright, its just locking up then we're on the road. Do you need to stop for a coffee or anything?" She stood next to you at the back of the car. Searching your tired face to see if you really could drive first. "Hun if you need me to drive first I can. I've stayed up and driven many times before."

You shook your head, "no, no it's fine. I enjoy the emptiness of the highways and what not. I just had an energy drink on my way here." You were being honest if anything, it's all you needed to stay up the entire drive.

"Well you're only driving half the way there, so one was probably best for you. Help me do one more check that everything is off, locked, and unplugged." She pointed at the door before leading the way. You followed closely behind her only parting when inside. You took the upstairs as she did downstairs.

It was quick and simple. Until you got lost in her study, she had a picture of her and Henry on the desk. You adored her boy, he was a spitting image of her and also not to brag but you are his favorite amongst the team. It warmed your heart seeing all the love she had just in that picture.

You quickly pulled out of your trance as the wooden steps creaked under the footsteps of another. "You ok up here?" You heard her voice call.

The room being set, "yeah just making sure." You responded before stepping into her view. "Upstairs is all set. Henry with Will?"

"Yeah, he went Wednesday night. I just owe Will a vacation week in return." She began to descend back to the car. "Which isn't a bad thing or anything, but it's just what the playful terms were for this trip. This trip is just very adult based anyways so bringing Henry just didn't seem responsible."

"Jennifer Jareau, the responsible and reasonable mother of the FBI. Who will be coming out on this trip though? You have no responsibilities. I know I'm to be a different person." You had opened the passenger door for her once out at the car.

"So you really are going to keep up with Penelope the entire time?" JJ had gone for a teasing. "She's been dying to get your mysterious self drunk. Hoping to get out some of those secrets she can't find. Even the ones that pop up in your background check."

You threw the car in drive with one swift motion before raising a brow. "You ran a background check on me?"

"Only after a few weeks of learning nothing really about you. We got curious one girls night and it's muscle memory to Penelope." She flashed you a bright smile. "So, will you be spilling your guts?"

Your head shook again as you chuckled. You left the question unanswered as a peaceful silence already settled as you hit the road.

~

5 hours in and it was 10 am. JJ was still peacefully asleep next to you. You had made it into South Carolina without her waking once. It gave you the mindset she'd sleep through the rest of the state.

If she did you wouldn't mind though, you knew she worked hard. And with the last few cases she had been worked even more than anything. JJ needed this vacation and it showed in her stillness.

Although you were extremely surprised when she slept right till your pit stop at a the next town for a bathroom break. Quietly you had snuck in and used their restroom while getting snacks and drinks.

Took you no more than ten minutes but ten minutes must've been too still cause the blonde was awake on your return. "Do you need the bathroom?"

She let a groan slip through her lips first, "what state are we in?" She questioned after, rubbing the remainder of sleep out of her eyes.

"South Carolina. We're about half way through it. Also the four are behind us, texted them while inside if they wanted to meet for a lunch at Chilis or something. Aaron and Jack are leaving Sunday, Halley wants to see him once more before he comes. And Rossi said to make up for not coming he's planned something for everyone for Monday." You locked the car and walked with her back inside, knowing she didn't need it but you couldn't help it. When you were in there some guy had given you the creeps, so maybe you were just being some extra protection.

JJ hummed lightly, "so that makes us what maybe a little of 5 hours in?" She noticed how you walked all the way into the bathroom with her. Staying by the mirror as she went.

"Almost seven. If you want I'll drive to Chilis and then you can drive from there?" You offered to finish your shift. Although secretly you had an agenda for Chilis. The team easily suspects you for not being a crazed drinker because anytime you did go out, you only would have like one drink and a shot. Unbeknownst to them you loved your solo pre-gaming.

"Yeah that's fine. You can sleep then before dinner." She agreed as she came out.

JJ stood infront of you as you stared at her through the mirror. Finally seeing what was really wearing and it made your throat dry up like a puddle on a hot mid-summer day. She was in a cute little baby tee that hugged her in ways she had to understand were illegal but didn't care anyways. Paired with plaid sleep shorts that showed off her perfect legs that shined in the sun. Ending with her navy blue converse. You scolded yourself, it shouldn't phase you as much but something calls out to you with every passing hour.

So lost in your thoughts you missed how she had turned and came up to you. She stood taller than you but toe-to-toe with you and she knew how to make the world bend to her. sometimes even by her own hand, literally. She cupped your cheek and made your head crane back. "You alright there? The tiredness already catching up to you or is it something else?"

Her tone tickled a nerve in the back of your mind. It was telling you to feed into it. Once that thought crossed your mind, an inner voice couldn't let it go through. Then Penelope's deal for this trip came in as well. It trumped all the opposing thoughts and soon you were leaning up close to her ear. Hands so subtly slipping onto her waist and pulling her into you. She gasped slightly as your lips brushed the shell of her ear.

"It could be either," you whispered before breaking the stance and leading out the bathroom. You missed how she smirked.

Although once you stepped out, your prediction came true. The same creepy man was standing in the isle with a perfect shot of the bathroom door. He was already staring at you, but when JJ came around you watched his gaze deepen.

By his first step, you were already making your move. A hand slipped into JJ's and you brought her close behind you as you started to walk out. Pushing her in front of you once at the door and the man was maybe five strides away.

You sent him a pointed glare as the blonde had kept waking forward. You also sent him the finger before making your own exit. It wasn't till you were in the safety of the car you could breathe. "God, I hate men." You rolled your eyes as you started the vehicle. Not surprised as the man had walked purposely in front of your car and stared even harder.

"Having issues with the state of South Carolina?" She poked your arm. Which all you did was roll your eyes, earning that beautiful laugh you adored.

Three more driven hours had passed and you had hit 10 hours in. Now you sat in a booth with the other four child-adults. You had the drink menu in hand already, making eyebrows raise in suspicion.

"Starting your party early?" Derek had made the knowing comment, pushing the menu down just slightly. "Thought you weren't even that big of a drinker."

You hummed while still letting your eyes roam over the menu. "Would you like to know a secret about me?"

"Yes!" Penelope shouted in response. Leaning forward to really watch your features to see if she herself could pick if it was a lie or not.

You smirked and finally looked at the table, you had them on edge. "I've shown up drunk to every night we've gone out. I'm a pregame princess to save myself spending so much at bars." There was a collection of 'no's as you nodded. "I'm a pro at acting sober."

"Oh..oh that makes so much sense on why one drink does it for you. Oh my god, sugar pea I thought I was going to kill you on this trip! How much can you drink before it's tap out?" Penelope was throwing out questions so easily, loving this opening up side already.

"The most I drank was my third girls night with you and Emily." You paused to give them a second to recount the day.

"Oh my god, it was a miracle you didn't wake up with alcohol poisoning." Penelope covered her mouth in horror.

Trying not to laugh, you continued. "While I did my shower and put curlers in my hair, I drank at least four drinks, then while we waited for you to get ready, me and Emily were prepping pregame with shots, then the actual pregame, then maybe adding like the seven drinks and three shots we did once we were out. I was really fucking drunk that night."

Penelope gasped as she remembered, "is that why you had whispered to not let you go home with anyone?"

"You almost went home with someone?!" Derek was shocked at this new information now. He gave his charming laugh and you were giving in and joining.

"Yes! But I knew I wasn't in the right mind for anything, also wasn't up for anything. I'm a reserved person if you couldn't tell," you winked at him.

The table buzzed with laughter and drinks the entire hour you guys stayed. Penelope wasn't driving at all, so she was keeping you going as well. Both of your cheeks had pink tints to them any time you both got caught giggling a little more than anyone else.

By the time you had finished eating, you both were equally five margaritas. Bless the person who invented bottomless margaritas.

"I assume you're driving back?" Emily questioned to JJ, watching as you sipped your sixth marg in one go, giving a challenging glance to Penelope. "Because by the looks of it," their eyes drifted to you and you could sense their stares. Your eyes drifted over, only for you to blush under JJ's gaze.

"You drove for ten so I'll finish it up." She spoke to you and only you. Maybe it was the fact these people knew you were already in a tipsy state that you didn't have to hide it.

Your head lulled to her shoulder and you sighed lovingly, a more affectionate side of you was peeking through. "I'll make it a fun ride," you stared straight at the wall. Ignoring the shocked expressions around you. "It's only five more hours anyways."

You didn't realize how you lifted your head and faced her. You were close again to her, a sneaky hand squeezing at her thigh. But you did realize the server bringing another round of margaritas.

"Oh god Pen! You do know we're also drinking at dinner right?" You giggled as you still took the colorful drink. "This is like our seventh one..." you sounded like you were complaining even as the straw was in your mouth.

The sober four shook their heads and laughed. Everyone finishing up their conversations as you and Penelope finished your last drinks. High-fiving once both glasses were empty.

As you and JJ were about to part, you couldn't help the urge to give everyone big hugs before slipping off with the blonde, giggling as you hugged her from behind. "You're a giggler when not masking sober." She had shaken her head.

"I'm the best type of drunk though baby, this is only the start." You smirked as you slid into the passenger seat.

Although you weren't expecting her to lean over the console and get into your space instead. "Yeah? And what type of drunk is that, hun?" She seared the image of you right here into her mind. How doe eyed your tipsy stare was.

A beat of silence went by and then suddenly you were challenging her by inching closer as well. Your eyes fluttering between hers. Words didn't leave your mouth though, just silently staying close to her.

"Mmm, I guess I'll have to ask at dinner." She declared before pulling back. You didn't notice the way her gears had turned, too lost in her ocean blue eyes.

~

You had arrived at the hotel, everyone right behind you as you check in. Earning key cards to the suites Rossi had managed for you all. There was two hours until dinner. Giving everyone the chance to nap or just relax for a bit.

You had chosen to nap off the rest of your lunch drinks so you could put down at dinner and at the club after. Penelope had texted you separately on the drive talking about how she was ready to push your limits. You couldn't back down and out now.

You swiped the key card, pushing the door open when it beeped green.

Unbeknownst to you, Rossi is indeed one skilled profiler. No matter how hard you tried to keep yourself quiet and under everyone's radar, he managed to pick you apart. What's worse was he had the nerve to tell you, but you didn't believe him. So he took this chance to really prove to you what he knew.

Hence the one bedroom with a king sized bed in the middle.

"Well there's only one bed," you had muttered by the doorway. Eyes glossing at the sight of the room, it was grand and beautiful. The walls were an actual color, soft green, and not a boring beige. Decorations of flowers were scattered everywhere and it had a warm breeze blowing in the white curtains. "Besides that, this place is really cute."

"If you think about it though, we're the only two who would share a bed." She nudged your side, finally seeing what you were oozing adoration over. "It's calming."

"The perfect feeling for vacation." You threw out, letting a beat go by before you were already flopping onto the bed. Sighing at how plush the covers and mattress were.

Eyes closed, you felt the bed dip next to you. But even with them shut, you managed to slip a hand around her waist and pull her close into a hug. "Thank you for finishing the drive." You mumbled. Not noting how your warm breath fanned her neck.

JJ was dumbfound in this moment. She didn't expect you to be a touchy person, at all. Mostly because of how distant you still seemed from the team, yet how close you had managed in the three years you had been there.

So this is how your hugs felt.

She was always able to count how many times she's seen you hug someone. The first was when the team saved Reid from Tobias Hankle. You were basically the first one to really hold him (even if it went long than expected). The second time was Penelope when she got shot. The third and final was Emily and Reid after Benjamin Cyrus. Now the fourth time was here, in this bed. With her.

The blonde wasn't going to let this moment go to waist, eager to get a picture of your still form, but when she moved you groaned. "No pictures. Let's just nap." You mumbled, lips moving against the smooth skin of her neck. You could feel her pulse on your lips.

"But how will anyone believe that you are a hugger?" She softly laughed at your antics. Her arms tightening around you as you tried to push her away now. It only made her laughter grow along with her hold. "Be a good girl and accept it," her words were in your ear and they were low and tantalizing. Yet you stopped moving instantly. Your body just going limp in her arms as she hummed contently. "Wasn't so hard now was it?"

You waited a second, " no," you managed. "But I think you enjoyed that a bit too much." You weren't afraid to be smart with her, the most she could do was push you off the bed.

JJ opted for crawling onto you however. Using her hand in your hair to roll you onto your back as she stared down at you. A magnetic smirk that you wanted to be pulled into to on her lips. "And what if I did? Hmm? You listened to me didn't you?"

Your eyes widened as your cheeks burnt up. You managed to sigh out your whimper thankfully. "That's cause you're strong and had a good hold." You conjured up something, anything. The way she said she did like it had clogged the gears in your head and you felt stupid the moment the words left your mouth.

"Well who wouldn't want to hold a sweet little thing like yourself? Can you really blame me?" JJ kept going. Her finger tips ghosting your skin so smoothly that you didn't know anything. "Even now, look at you."

Your heart was hammering in your chest, this couldn't be real. There's no way in this universe or the next that she's looking at you like she's about to eat you in one go, and she'll look pretty while doing it. "What about me?" You whispered, cursing yourself for sounding so meek. You were honestly struggling to think clearly.

JJ only flashed her canine teeth in a wide smile before getting off you. Slipping away from you entirely and just opening her suitcase to rummage through it. You were watching her while propped up in your elbows.

"I'm gonna shower so I can start on my hair at least before getting ready. Wash the car ride off my body, ya' know?" She had pulled out a few articles of clothing before entering the bathroom.

Well...that sobered you up enough. Which was in pro to pregaming, but you still decided to take at least fifteen minutes to sleep. Which was even better for your pregaming because everything settled through the nap.

You had eyed the mini bar when walking in and decided to start there. Grabbing a glass and ice from the freezer. You made yourself a pineapple mojito. That's when you realized that it was a perfectly stocked bar, mostly because when you picked up white rum there was a note from Rossi.

'I told you I knew you better than you thought. Enjoy your mixologist heaven - Dave'

You practically squealed in excitement and made JJ a drink as well. Finishing it up right as she came out, you were sipping yours as you extended your hand to her.

"Oh you were serious?" She raised her brows in shock. She was beginning to think you didn't process alcohol at all. "What's this?"

"Pineapple mojito. Dave gave me a full mini bar to drink from and there are several nights of this to come. So, you gonna keep up Jareau?" You quirked an eyebrow to her now. This was the confidence you need twenty minutes ago.

Her lips wrapped around the thin black straw and she took her first sip. Her blue eyes never leaving yours. She was glad she didn't look away, the growing smile on your face was worth it. Even if it came with a mischievous glint in your eyes.

As she lowered her glass you only slipped by her with your glass. Grabbing what you needed for your own shower. You were on your knees, the carpet feeling inviting under you.

You were oblivious to JJ standing right behind you. Her slender fingers slipped into your hair and she tugged slightly, sighing when your head pulled back and you made eye contact. "What else can you do?" She brought the straw to her lips. You mirrored her.

"I'm a self-trained mixologist. If that counts for anything?" You were joking suddenly. Two shots while making the drinks wasn't that smart (well it was for the pros of pregaming). You looked back to your suitcase, giggling at the secret personality they were about to witness.

The blonde couldn't tear her eyes off of you as you grabbed at fabrics and stood up. Take a finishing sip of your glass before staring up at her. "That's one, two happens in the shower." You showed her your empty glass.

It took JJ by surprise how fast you could drink. Even more for how fast you could mix up another drink. You took it with you to the bathroom, fully ready to go in, until you noted your lack of speaker. So like anyone else, you slipped your big shirt back over and went back to your bag. You ignored how quiet the room was even when you found it. You just turned on the device and began your playlist.

Fifteen more minutes had passed, giving you an hour to get ready. You slipped out the bathroom with everything in hand. Your hair was wrapped up, exposing how little the silk dress really was on you.

Right before starting your makeup, you had to make the third drink. It was routine at this point. You sang and danced loosely to the bar. Missing the way the three woman noted how free you were. How in your own world you could be.

"That's her third drink." JJ had mentioned to them. She had just dented her second one. "And she's a heavy pourer." She passed the glass around, both having reactions to how strong it was.

"Oh my- she's gonna kill us." Emily was genuinely worried. "Do we stop her?"

"No!" Penelope stopped the thought from being discussed. "This is the first night she's going to open up. I want secrets. And she's going to actually let us see her drunk."

Meanwhile you had finished your third drink and makeup. Smirking to yourself in the mirror as you knew what time it was. Princess Pregame was coming to shine the moment you were at the mini bar.

You slipped into safe green heels and grabbed the matching purse. Decorating yourself in jewelry before moving your party to the kitchen.

The playlist switched and you finally met the eyes of three women. "Good evening ladies, welcome to the pregame party." You wore a huge smile while gesturing to the other side of the counter. Pleased when they lined up. "Now, I don't know how you all like to party, but I like to start with a vicious shot." You raised four tiny glasses and a bottle.

To say they were instantly hooked onto this character was an understatement. The glasses clicked as you all threw back. You were already at the point that taste seemed irrelevant.

"Now, as for your predrink. I'm thinking," you started over by Emily. "Something strong for a strong woman. Now, I personally ignore the rules of mixing dark and light. Hangover, bangover honestly." You poured four dark shots before making Emily's drink. Handing her the glass and raising the small cups again.

Next was Penelope. "You, sugar, are in for the worst of it with me. I'll start you sweet, but don't be oblivious to how much is actually in here." You had made some sort of pink drink, along with four clear shots. "This is gonna be an eventful vacation!" You all threw back.

Last was JJ. Your cheeks heated as she stared in wonder at you. You leaned to match her pose, pushing your hips back to make a perfect angle. Your back curving graciously to their view. "What to do with a sweet little thing like yourself?" You imitated her from earlier. Your challenging smirk telling her you knew she was powerless here. "I'm thinking...savory. But with what, light or dark?" You turned to see what selection you still had. Eyes narrowing on the aged tequila. "Yes!" You exclaimed before mixing. Laughing lightly to yourself. "Jennifer Jareau, for being to sexy and distracting, I'm serving you a restraining order." You slid the orange cocktail over.

Now all three had a drink you felt something missing. "Oh and me! For myself, I'm thinking, something dirty." You eyed the pink bottle from Penelope's drink and decided. "Kinky blow pop." You nodded.

"I'm sorry what's your drink called?" Emily laughed, throwing her head back. "Kinky blow pop?"

"Yes. Kinky blow pop. You're drinking Whiskey smash, Pen's on a larger version of wet pussy shots, and JJ is on restraining order. Do most drinks I know how to make come with funny names, yeah but it's not my fault I like funny things." You rambled while mixing. Raising the pink glass and smiling. "To vacation ladies! What happens in Florida, stays in Florida!"

~

You felt a little silly stumbling back into the hotel, but with Penelope giggling beside you it didn't seem to bother you as much. Once by the elevator that's when you had all seemed to begin to part ways. Seeing as you all were kinda scattered about.

You and Penelope hugged everyone one last time before Emily and JJ were pulling you apart and to separate elevators. "She's a party, honestly love that woman. I love women in general but man Penelope knows how to party." You were star struck at the memories blurring through from the night.

"So it seems do you, that the type of drunk you were warning me about?" She wasn't as drunk as you were, actually you weren't even sure if she was drunk or not. You stopped watching her drink her sips when she caught you gawking.

Your hair shook over your face, "no that's only the start. There's still wine down to the night. Does the kind madam care to join me and try something new?" You had a daring gleam.

"And what does your wine down include?" She asked you, confused as what you were leading with. Each second that passed, another floor had gone by.

"It's a way to just truly feel everything you've drank and then some. Usually I do it alone but, since you're here with me," you knew even while wasted how your words were coming out. You knew you were being insinuating. Even in the gleam of your iris, you knew how to play these games.

The elevator dinged open and you lured her with one finger. You lead her right to the bedroom, pointing at the bed while you disappeared into the bathroom. Then back out, then back in with two wine glasses. Five minutes of silence pass and you're coming out in a robe gesturing for the blonde to follow you. "You can say no by the way, take the glass if anything."

JJ was greeted by a bath full of bubbles and steam coming off. "Your wine down is a bubble bath?"

"And wine. Can't forget the wine part of wine down. It feels nice to be naked, warm, and drunk. Clearly you've never tried it if you're asking questions." Your words were in a mix of sly and mumbles.

She went to say something but you were already slipping out the robe. Sinking in on one side and humming contently. Eyes closed as you just began to get lost in the feeling. The black void was even spinning.

JJ stood on the door and witness every expression. Her eyes moved on their own and stared at the small ink markings around your body. Her mind was still trying to figure out if this was the drunk you were warning her about? Was she going to meet this woman or was she a secret to be kept away forever?

Florida. Florida rules.

The deal whispered through her mind and suddenly JJ's bare body was sliding in behind yours. Not what you were expecting, you figured she sit across from you. You were too lost in the new skin to skin contact to protest.

Not too lost though, you still processed how her hands ran across your waist as she pulled you back into her. Her bare chest pushing into your back made your spinning pick up.

JJ's skilled fingers began working into your sides, massaging them so good your head just rolled back to her shoulder. You even let out a hum as you just felt your body melting into hers. She was so warm and inviting.

"Your skins so smooth, hun. You always do this?" She purred in your ear. Sending a shock down your spine.

"Self care is the second best care."

"And what's the first?"

"Aftercare."

There was a rocket in the tension. Her hands had stopped gliding across your abdomen, they stilled right under your boobs. You let a sigh slip out, and suddenly you were leaning forward. A subtle trail of coldness followed her fingertips as the hovered your ribs.

"Have you ever gotten any? Given any?" Your body made the effort to turn and stare into her eyes.

JJ blamed you being intoxicated for that pleading glint deep in your eyes. "Both a few times, given more than anything."

"Mm..I like that in a woman. Did you know that?" Your head tilted slightly over, staring at her in a newer angle. You came closer to her and her hands were back on you, this time holding your hips underwater.

"I did not. Does that mean you like me?" She quirked a challenging brow to you. Her answer was just a wide, blushing smile. It made her chuckle lowly. "So you're a tease when drunk?"

The word snapped something in your focus into place. "And what would you know about how I tease?" You were quick with your response, daring to get closer to her.

The sky blues seemed to darken with a storm as they narrowed at you. Silently asking if this was really the road you wanted to take tonight. However, even if it was JJ would never do anything while you were this drunk. What she was going to do was explore this new personality that Florida had brought out.

"Oh baby, I could tease you in ways you have never thought of. But we should get to bed, you should sleep some of this off before starting again tomorrow. And we'll grab breakfast so you have something to base your stomach." She threw out the morning plans while using her hand on your hip to push you back down.

Your eyes never left hers even as she stood up. You focused on your peripheral view as the soap suds began to slide down her body. Then she stooped down to your still kneeled form, a sinister smirk ready to corrupt your very being. "You look so pretty like this...on your knees for me... and god, those eyes how they beg for me.." Her pauses were filled with a lewd moan or gasp. "I can't wait to pull out those other sides you're hiding."

The blonde was gone as quick as she had been there, leaving you for only a second before coming back with a towel. You stayed silent as you complied with her help. "Are we...I dunno..." your thought was lost the moment she stopped to meet your gaze.

"Are we what, hun? Drunk? You more than me." She furrowed her brows. Getting ready to lead you out but you frowned and shook your head. "Well if you can remember while getting situated you can ask."

~

The warmth of Florida filled the room as you stirred awake. Getting ready to stretch your body fully out when you felt the weight of someone on your arms.

Oooh you knew exactly what you were about to open your eyes to. You easily pieced the trip, hangover, and body all together. Your left eye peeked open, finding the blonde already looking at you. Instantly you shut your eyes. "Oh...oh my god..."

"Good morning to you too hun, feeling last night yet?" She was already teasing you about it. Your eyes weren't even open and she was already joking.

"You would too if you had kept up..." your voice was filled with tiredness as you grumbled. Your head was still tucked down, and into JJ's chest.

You could feel the laughter rumble in her. It might've become your favorite feeling in the world. "I'll keep up with you for girls night. I want to see what your world looks like at the club."

This made your head pop up. A wide smile plastering your plush lips, "really? All the way from the first shot to the last sip?"

"Now it sounds like you're going to kill me." She furrowed her brows with a worried look gracing through her happiness. "It's what a few shots and some drinks for pre-pregame? I can handle it."

You tried to contain your sudden eagerness. "We should get breakfast." You switched the topic while propping yourself up. Now you laid on your stomach and rested on your elbows. Hair tossed over so you could actually look at the blonde.

JJ was enjoying already seeing you first thing in the morning. You seemed so loose and care free in this moment. Like you weren't awake enough to put on any masking personality. This was your raw self staring at her. "Derek is grilling on the beach for us today. They're already up and moving, but you were against getting up."

"That's cause we're on vacation. I'm not supposed to be getting woken up after drinking all night. But I do like the sounds of burgers so we should get up now." You were up before your sentence finished. Standing on the side and stretching your body out in the mirror. You were growing more excited to bask in the sun all day. Letting its yellow rays kiss against your skin.

JJ just gawked as you stood in nothing but a big t-shirt and panties. Her eyes lingered and your ass before jumping to your face in the mirror. She crawled over, knowing you could see her approaching and accepting it as you stood exactly still. "I don't know, maybe we should stay here all day and do nothing." She rose on her knees, arms wrapping comfortably around your waist and her head on your shoulder. "Clothes optional? Talk about those little tattoos?"

Your cheeks flushed but it was in contrast to your laugh. "What? Saw me naked in a bath one time and now you can't get enough?" You bite back bravely. Laughing even more at her shocked face. "Maybe Jareau, maybe you'll manage something this trip."

And as soon as you were in her hold and comparing her natural warmth to the same sun you'd thought about moment before, you were slipping away to begin getting ready.

Grabbing a hand full of pieces before finding your way into the bathroom. It gave JJ the chance to change out in the room as well. From her silk pajamas into her peach bikini. Covering it with a regular pair of jean shorts and a loose button up shirt she left open and tucked in.

Meanwhile, you had returned in a beige and green outfit. The top was brown and tied at the back of your neck. Paired with a flowing sage green skirt. It hung low on you, but your brown bottoms hung lower. Your hair was still down, but JJ didn't seem to think that an issue.

"Do you have the sunscreen or are they bringing it?" You were once again in your bag and pulling out sandals this time. Not paying much attention, honestly you were really looking forward to this burger, but you had almost ran into the blonde roommate.

Her hands in her pockets as she tried to not eat you right here while you look this cute. "That's a nice top, where's your cover up though?" She knew the answer already, but confronting you would give her something to tease out. Her eyes catching the smallest glimpses of ink.

"I practically glow in the sun, and I could use it. It's all I plan to do while sitting on the beach with my burger." You seemed in an extremely better mood once those burgers were mentioned.

JJ noticed it too as she just chuckled before giving you space to move again. Pulling a small beach bag out for both your stuff. You had put in headphones, sunglasses, and tanning lotion. Completely ignoring your phone over in the bedside table.

~

By two, you were practically drunk again with Penelope right by your side. Watching from a far all your friends have fun while the burgers slowly cooked.

"Ok, real talk, how drunk are you willing to get tonight?" Penelope had turned to you, blocking the sun with her hand. "Because last night you seemed pretty drunk."

"Last night is a horrible example of where I can get. I'm going toe-to-toe with the blondie over there. She won't drink with us now though, claims it'll ruin it for when after I take my nap to sleep all this off." You pointed to the cooler that had a variety of cocktails and drinks. "She's gonna know too much of my personality by the end of this trip."

"Hey! I wanna meet this personality! What does she know?" Penelope had whined. "Maybe we should've shared a room instead."

You laughed, "she knows that I'm truthful about my pre-pregame. She didn't know I did shots between while making the first drinks. Also she finally met me when I first wake up."

"Oh I love you when you first wake up! You're so sweet and warm. It's the perfect contrast to your mysterious work personality. Has she really never seen it before?" She took another sip of her melted, but still cool Bahama Mama. Smirking when your head shook no. "I bet she likes it. She got a subtle mess to her, but it's there."

"What? Penelope Garcia what do you know to say that?" Your eyes narrowed but playfully you were laughing. "I don't doubt it. I actually don't doubt that we'll kiss at least once. Too much tension."

Penelope squealed the moment 'tension' left your lips. Causing the group to turn from the water. The two of you were staring at each other deep in a conversation to them. But then they watched as you pulled a bottle of tequila out and poured out four shots. Passing two to the tech analysis before bringing limes and salt into view.

"Where was all that even at?" Emily couldn't tear her eyes away from the shore. Honestly feeling left out for not drinking with you both. "Also listen, the amount of drinks that thing can put down is insane. Cause that's not the agent I know and work with."

"Well no shit, she's not gonna drink on the job." Derek joked, raising a challenging look to the other. "You think they'll get in anytime soon?"

Spencer was quick to start giving a fact about drinking in heat and swimming. It was slowly dropping out however as they really watched you both take the shots like water. "Ya know, it's really interesting that they're still going in the sun is all I'm saying."

The four agreed and started heading back up. One with the intent to see how drunk you two actually were, and two to check lunch.

"Oh I see sobriety coming to crash our party." You tilted your head over, a sigh escaping your lips. "Before they get up here, I'm going to go to the bathroom and break my seal." You hummed out.

"Ooh let me come with you!" Penelope spoke, getting up without really letting you answer. You would've said yes anyways, it's her how could you say no to anything.

You both were moving before they got back to the towels, arms looped as you swayed to the small bathroom together. It was really only five minutes tops, or so you thought.

"It's crazy you two could spend ten minutes in there." Emily was assembling her burger before you.

Penelope had began to respond, but you were too busy rushing to JJ who was holding up a burger already for you. "Oh. Em. Gee." You beamed while settling next to her. "Y'all see this right here? This a mean burger and it's going down in my tummy." You showed off the plate.

There was a light conversation that carried you all through lunch. Some chip ins from you and Penelope as you mostly stayed silent and just focused on eating. You were proud to say that was the best drunk burger you've ever had.

After cleaning up, there was still a few more hours before you had to head back. From what had been mentioned, they were getting back in the water. "Are you two gonna join us or keep drinking?" Derek had raised the ball they were throwing around up.

"That's if they can keep themselves afloat." Emily poked your arm and watched as you so simply wobbled just from it. "Put some floaties on, Tanner."

You groaned at the name. "First of all, I'm a sun bather. Second of all, floaties ruin my glowing complex."

"What's a glowing complex?" Reid furrowed his brows, hearing a term he didn't fully understand what context it was in.

Without a second word, you were standing away from the group and literally glowing in the sun. The beams reflected off your skin just perfectly to give you the effect. But before you started to loose yourself in the warmth of the sun, you returned to the group.

"When I retire I'm gonna find the warmest place to live and sit on the beach every single day." You pointed out. "But I'm going to stay on the dry lands and keep drinking."

"Sugar, the water will feel good on your sunny skin. Help cool it from the hours of heat and drinking." Penelope protested though. "If not at least put more sunscreen on." She pointed at the bottle as she left, chasing after the others to the water.

You sighed and followed suit. Finding comfort in the warm ocean water as you waded your way over. "This isn't that bad."

"Did you know you tan better in water anyways?" Reid dropped the fact so casually as him and Morgan tossed the ball. It was a light hearted game, one Spencer could keep up with.

"I knew that, did you know!" Penelope started up her own quips. Her drink finger pointed the attention to you. "Six tattoos." She ratted you out. "That's why when we went to the bathroom we took so long. I saw one and wanted to see them all."

"Oh so you got some ink on you?" Derek caught the ball and became interested. "What got a heart tattoo with mom in the middle?"

"Shut up," you splashed a little of water his way. "They're small and barely noticeable. All hidden by mostly everything I wear anyways. Also eight, not six."

"Where else?! You showed me your hip, two on your back, thigh, arm, ear. Where are the other two?" Penelope would've stripped you and fully inspected your body if it was just the two of you.

JJ smirked, "side of each boob." Her tone was cocky as it opened so many speculations between the two.

"Get your heads out the gutter, we're in the same room and she's seen my boobs. So have those two." You redirected the attention.

"Yeah but there weren't tattoos five months ago. So, spill the story of your boobs." Emily knew how to throw it back onto you.

You shook your head and scoffed, "I'm not telling the story of my boobs. No matter how great they are."

~

During girls night you did in-fact tell the story of your boob tattoos. Explaining how you made a bet with an old friend who came to visit once and made a drinking bet. She knew you had always wanted a tattoo there so it worked out.

What wasn't working out was how much, yet so little, clothing you had on still. Along with another night of smelling like an entire fruit bar of drinks. You need a shower and a nice comfy bed.

"Are you holding up ok?" JJ was right there, arm slithering around your waist. Unbeknownst to you, she was glaring down this other woman from the table. She wasn't oblivious to how her eyes roamed up your exposed back.

You shivered in her touch, "'m fine. We should go dance," you slurred. In your state, dancing would distract you from the need to be naked.

Suddenly Penelope and Emily came stumbling back to the table. "So turns out...Penelope has reached a newer level and we're both hungry. So we're heading back and ordering food, would you two like to join us?" Emily spoke most coherently.

JJ rolled her wrist to glance at her watch, it clicked just past midnight. "No..I think we're gonna call it as well. No clue how she manages to act sober after all that drinking."

"It's a miracle you're still up with her." Emily nudged her arm. "We'll see you guys probably Wednesday for the beach day." They bid goodbyes, catching the first taxi they could back to the hotel.

When the blonde turned to face you, she was met by no one. Where had you gone? Her eyes jumped through the crowd, doing her best to pick you out. And when she did catch sight of you, her body heated as her eyes narrowed at the woman dancing with you.

You however, didn't seem to care for the tall ginger in green. Your eyes were lazily trained to JJ, willing her to come to you and sway with you. A tiny grin tugged on your lips as she did come up to you.

"Baby there you are, you can't disappear like that." She grabbed you, more firmly than before, and brought you in close.

"I told you...dance." Your arms wrapped around her neck and shoulders as your body moved with the music against her. "Tomorrow...I don't want to do anything but lay in bed." You spoke right under her ear. "Unfortunately will think I'm skipping wine down. I might throw up in the morning."

"That concerns me. What happened to be a pro at holding your alcohol?" She kept you in her space, hands tracing your exposed spine. "Do you wanna go now? It's past midnight as is."

You sighed and then looked at her, "can I tell you something? Something really secretive?" You were wearing such a glazed look. If you were sober-ish you'd question how JJ isn't as drunk as you.

"How bout in the morning, hmm? Let's get back and call it a night." She shushed you.

That night she did get you back into your suite, but after that she let you move on your own. She followed behind just in case you did start going down though. You didn't, you mumbled something about how you'd never go down no matter what. All while stripping from the makeup and fabrics that covered your entire body. You had crawled into bed in a tank top and your panties. Blacking out almost instantly once you hit the mattress.

~

"JJ," was out your lips before your eyes opened. "Is there a garbage can next to my side of the bed?"

"No, baby get to the bathroom." She hummed, helping you get up and to the toilet before you missed.

The morning was already an indicator of your day strictly in bed. Even once you had cleaned yourself up and flipped back into the covers. "Oh my god...I've never drank that much."

"You sent Penelope home barely conscious." JJ sat on your hips, massaging your shoulders. The sensation caused a subtle moan to slip through your lips. "You like that?" She whispered.

You hummed your approval, "what about you? You managed to get us back to the hotel." You felt her lips press into your spine, right over your tattoo.

"In confession, once I had noted how drunk you were I began to slow down and drink waters. You hardly noticed when I was giving you sips." Her hands were working so perfectly into your skin. They were warm and caring about what they were doing. "But it was for our safety in the long run. Now that I know that's what your nights are like, you're never leaving a girls night alone."

"What? Like you're gonna come home with me and sleep with me more often?" You rested your head on the side while looking back to her. She was already so close to your face.

"Wouldn't be the worst thing to happen would it?" She pressed her lips to your cheek next. Feeling them heat up instantly.

"You're a bigger tease than I am!" You exclaimed once your thoughts came reeling back. You did your best to flip over without loosing her against your hips.

She shook her blonde waves though, "a tease is all bark baby. I have bite and with how you keep looking at me, I intend to use it once before this trip ends."

Your chest started to rise and fall heavily. Shallower. Your eyes widen with need. With lust. "Who says once will be enough to suffice the both of us?"

"It never would be, I can tell you that now. If I got just one taste," her eyes flickered to your lips. Stalking your tongue as it darted out to wet them. The blue snapped back up.

The both of you stared at each other with intensity. It was you who closed the gap and tugged her down closer. Pouring ounces of passion into such a subtle action. The kiss itself only lasted a few seconds, but you could've sworn it had been minutes.

"Oh sharing a room with you just got a whole lot more interesting." She wore a Cheshire grin staring down at you. "I'll be gentle...when I want to be." She winked before snaking down your body.

There was a moment of silence when she stood on the side. She was placed right between your legs as your cheeks flushed meeting her lustful gaze. You could only think she'd be gentle with you. How soft her touches could be while still bringing you over again and again and again.

"You wanna order lunch to the room?" She dropped the tension. Yet you could see it in the way her canine flashed that this was just putting a pause to whatever had started.

"That'll take like thirty minutes." You propped yourself up on your elbows. "I'll be really hungry by then."

"I think we can figure something out to distract you." She winked. You smiled and waited silently as she placed the order. "Hi! Can we get..." she began but you couldn't help yourself. JJ stood staring at you in nothing but boxers and a blue button up. It was tempting you to undo each one. She was tempting you.

You crawled over to kneel up to her. Placing soft kisses to the corner of her lips before trailing them back to her ear then down the column of her neck. Relishing in her soft gasp between her words. Your fingers worked slyly at the buttons like you wished. "Yes, to room 273. Thank you so much!" She finished up and instantly sunk her fingers into your hair. "It'll be her in about thirty." She hummed lowly, like it was a warning to you.

Yet you missed it. You couldn't get enough of her, and it showed the moment you got to the last button and dropped lower on your knees. Placing open mouth kisses to her sternum. Feeling her heart beat only a few inches away. Your lips moved towards her boob and that's when she caught you. "Oh baby, that's a reward if you're good for me."

She met you in a more heated kiss that made your head spin and start to slip into a buzzed state. "I'll be good..." you mumbled into her. Staring wide eyed as she leaned away just slightly.

"I know you will, sweet girl. You've been waiting for this moment, haven't you? You wouldn't want to jeopardize it all now with some silly behavior. Would you?" She flashed that canine once more. Your brows furrowed, did she know more than she let on? "Dave gave us all very different gifts. Yours was a mini bar, mine was getting to rile you up in a shared suite on the opposite side of the hotel from everyone else. Meaning I could make you scream, shout, whatever I want and the team will never know."

Your heart was beating within your ears, your chest, and between your legs. She knew of your little crush all on her own...and she wanted to rile you up. "Please..." you gasped. It was like a wave of air hit you as your brain caught up finally. "Fuck JJ, please I want you so bad. Anything. Just say what."

"Oh there she is. So this is what you're like truly. A sweet little thing who just needs a good fucking. I should've know." Her warm hand cupped your cheek, "well, mommy's here now to help." You moaned at the self given title. Eyes widening into nothing but pupil. "Baby you just keep getting sweeter, don't you? Let's get you comfortable hmm? Out these pajamas so I can take a look at you."

Your head nodded and you fiddled with the hem of the tank, pulling it over your head but never breaking eye contact. Your cheeks turned pink as her eyes freely glanced down. You had stilled after that, leaving you in just the black panties as you settled yourself in the center of the bed by the top.

JJ had circled to the end, crawling over, no, stalking over your practically bare body. "Where do I even start with you? Where should I start with you?" You missed how the second question was asking for your opinion. She chuckled and joined you on the bed, on all fours coming to hover you. "Maybe I'll make my way down," she mocked your kisses from earlier.

Her chest had brushed against yours causing a whimper to slip through finally. "Mm..please," you sighed out as her lips wrapped around your left nipple.

All her actions had halted though, her eyes boring into yours. "Yes what, sweet thing?" She wanted to hear it from your lips.

Her fingers dragged along the waistband of the black fabric, settling in the middle and pulling them down slowly. Taunting your needs. "Please...mommy..." it was silent. You were lingering on the title. Trying to let it simmer in your own mind. After another beat, "mommy please, go down on me." Your hips bucked into her hand.

You'd never seen JJ smile like this. It was wide, caring, yet it was dark and cunning. You were about to be in for the ride of your life. She pressed a kiss to your lips. Kissing her way down your body once more, fingers in the waistband dragging them down and off your legs. Only to kiss from your ankles up and settling between your thighs. She looked so pretty going down on you.

You'll never forget how tender the touch of her lips was. It seared itself into your skin and made you crave for more. You wanted to wonder how many times you'll experience this. How much longer will she be gentle with you? Thoughts were disrupted the first swipe of her tongue.

"Fuck," you gasped inwards. She had done so little to work you up and yet you already felt on edge. Even as your hips wriggled, you just only felt on edge. She was licking you up so simply that it wasn't enough to push you anywhere.

"All worked up for nothing," her arm bridged over your hips, pinning them against the mattress, picking up her pace only slightly. "God, baby I could stay here forever."

You whined and arched up, desperate for more always. "More, mmm' need more mommy."

More she gave you, loosing the softness of her touch into devouring you. Suddenly she was flattening her tongue against you and sucking more of you in. Bringing her free hand around and slipping two tender fingers into your dripping hole. They curled perfectly and moved fast and deep. She hummed in approval as your whines had turned into full volume moans.

You heard her spit down against you, "oh and after lunch..I'm gonna fuck you so deep with my strap baby. I'll have you a mess all day long. Begging mommy to ease up, and when you do it'll be slow each time I work you over the edge." She was thinking out loud and it only fueled your senses to be so sensitive.

She dipped back down, giving a few last hard sucks before she felt you begin to quiver. "Like that...just like that mommy!" You came with a silent moan and your hand tangled into her blondes waves.

JJ gave a few more licks, just enough till your hand was pushing her away. Then she came and kissed your glistening temples. "Yeah, once is not going to be enough." You were still a bit fogged by the orgasm and the new look of mommy next to you. "Are you ok sweet thing?"

You didn't say much, just rolled into her side and made effort to roll her to face you. "Reward.." you mumbled. Not exactly sure what you were asking for. But when the blonde complied, you had pushed her shirt off her body and kissed over her heartbeat. Resting your ear right against it. "How long have you known?"

"That you'd have a mommy kink?" She poked your side before resting her hand against it. You chuckled out a 'shut up'. "When you drunkenly texted me you canceled a hot hipster threesome for me the night you came over and got absolutely hammered with me."

Your head popped up, "oh my god, did I really?!" You were finally back from your haze. Mortified now laced in your eyes. Her head nodded. "And you never told me?!"

"I didn't know how! I just left it as drunk confessions, the ones we never talk about." She kissed your hairline.

Just then a knock occurred at your door. Your smile widened and you couldn't help the sudden rush of energy. You reached over and grabbed the blue shirt and fiddled with the buttons. Finishing the last one before reaching the door and opening it.

Only it wasn't room service. It was Emily and Penelope. "We wanted to join in on your lazy day. After last night...and rumor is, you two got the best suite." Penelope babbled, not recognizing the clear fucked out look you had going on.

"Oh....well we just ordered room service and still gotta get even semi ready for the day." You tried to divert it, knowing Emily had taken note of your tousled hair.

She smirked at JJ who had came up behind you in one of your t-shirts. "Penelope, maybe we should spend the day by the pool. Or maybe another day on the beach before dinner. These two look like they had just as much of a night as us."

"Or morning," you heard JJ's whisper so quietly. You could just sense the grin begin to plaster her lips. "But yes, this one woke up and first thing was that toliet."

"Oh my god, don't spill my business!" You turned to nudge her away. Rolling your eyes once you spun back to the two others. "Maybe we'll catch you guys before dinner though? No serious pregame, just a sip and chat before."

"Deal." Penelope finalized. She was leading off after a final glance over you and JJ. It wasn't till they turned the corner she pieced it together. "Oh...oh Emily..those two-"

"Oh yeah, for sure." She cackled at the blondes realization. They all knew it was bound to happen on this trip.

Meanwhile you and JJ shared your own laugh in the room. Pointing at the shirts that clearly belonged to the other as you headed back to bed.

You pressed a kiss to her cheek, "you really brought a strap?" Your eyebrows had quirked.

JJ smirked at you and hugged you closer. "I guess you'll find out after lunch." She returned the kiss.

That day you did find out a lot about yourself and JJ, but you wouldn't change it for the world. You'd mentioned to thank Rossi when you all got back, maybe he did know you better than what you'd believed. What else did he know?

[urauntiefaye]

Hi Faye, first of all I would like to thank you for writing such entertaining content. I am also glad that you are very active lately🥺. Don't forget to take care of your health and stay happy (SMOOCHIIEEE FOR YOUUU😚😚😚😚).

You know faye, I thought of this after watching Teamies new year content where harua acted arrogant towards Taki (Oh I'm waiting for his acting debut).

Harua is the student council president who is known to be fierce but also a bit arrogant. Many students respect him because of his position. I imagine you're a girl who often causes trouble at school, making Harua a little fed up with you. Without him knowing, you have deeper feelings for him, you often look for trouble to get his attention. Imagine when you are jealous of a flirtatious girl who can be close to him. Because of your emotions, you hit the girl until she passed out (fainted), which of course made Harua very angry because of your actions. But when he yelled at you for your behavior, you just kept quiet and didn't answer him, but your gaze was so sad. "I also want your attention, haru," You said that when he stopped yelling at you.

Oh I hope this can be a bit of smut content hehe 😳

Student Body President!Harua x Trouble Maker Reader🔞❤️‍🩹

WC: 1816 

TW: Smut, Angst, slight fingering, unprotected sex but no cuming inside, Penetration, violence, not proof read, let me know if I forgot anything! 

A/N: Smoochies back bebes 😘😘😘, and yes I don’t know why but seeing Harua and Taki in that video DID things to me 

Attention. That’s all you wanted, just some form of attention no matter what kind it was. Being in a household where you didn’t get any led you to be like that, always just casted off to the side. Acting out was the only way you knew to get it, and Harua was the main person who always offered it to you. Even if it’s him lecturing you, you grew addicted to it, because finally someone was paying attention to you. Finally someone was acknowledging your existence, it also didn’t help that you had a crush on him since the beginning of the school year. Because of this you started to act out even more. Always skipping class, cheating on homework and tests, even starting fights with others just to keep his eyes on you. 

Seeing him focus on other girls, and then taking him away made you furious which oftentimes led you to doing even worse things just to get it back. But you tried to hold back as best as you could, but you just couldn’t. You finally had someone in your life who had noticed you, and you couldn’t let that go, you can’t let that because if you did you would once again be alone. And it was hard considering not only was he the student council president but he was also super popular in school. Even having his own fanclub that followed him everywhere he went. It was like a constant battle over his attention. You soon grew tired of it, everything you tried isn't working anymore. Noticing how he was slowly losing interest and stopped paying attention to you. It created a whirlwind of emotions entering a dark territory and panicking over it.

You tried to talk to your parents last night about it but they just shoo’d you away and said they were too busy for you. And that they can’t be bothered with such things. With your emotions already at an all time high because of last night with your parents. Walking into that class the next day was your final straw, you had officially snapped. Some random girl who was a part of his fanclub was next to him. Not just that but she was really close to him, her hand on Harua’s shoulder, twirling her hair with a stupid fucking smile on her face, batting her way to big false eyelashes. And the fact that he was just letting her do it, as if he was enjoying it. 

Seeing nothing but red you made your way towards them, Harua turning around to see you and calling out your name. But you didn’t hear, raising your fist and grabbing the girl by her shirt's collar. Slamming your hand down, knuckles making contact with her cheek bone, the girl screamed out in pain. Everyone in the class witnessed the scene in pure shock, Harua screaming your name out telling you to stop. But you couldn’t stop, your body was on autopilot, pinning her to the ground and just wailing on her until Harua had pulled you off. Grabbing your wrist and pulling you off, even pushing you even further away causing you to slam into a few desks. He crouched down to the girl, pulling her close to him as she was barely even conscious. 

He whipped his head around, staring daggers into you with such disdain, a look he’s never given you. Like you were some kind of disgusting psychotic monster, “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH!?” he shouted. He never did that before, he never raised his voice at you, feeling your throat tighten trying to hold back your tears. “I get you pride yourself in being the fucking ‘troubled student’ but that doesn’t give you an excuse to fucking hurt people Yn!”, you tried to say something, anything but you couldn’t. You knew you shouldn’t have but, how could he say that to you? Doesn’t he know you’re hurting too? Why does he…

Seeing Harua turn away from you and back to the girl, who he still held in his hands. It made you sick, “I hate you” the three words escaping your lips, barely even in a whisper. Harua just looked at you, “what?”, “I hate you” you said louder this time, the tears finally breaking free. Taking Harua off guard a little, he never expected you to say that to him, but his other side told him to not pay attention since you were in the wrong here. “I also want your attention Harua, how…how can you not notice” you choked out, the pain being evident in your voice. He didn’t know what to say, a part of him knew he shouldn’t take what you said seriously, but the other part…the other part of him wanted to hug you. You looked so hurt, so broken which was such a contrast to your usual self. Running out the door to get away from everyone, to find somewhere to hide from all of the eyes. Not noticing that Harua had instinctively got up and ran after you. 

You ran into a storage room, slamming the door shut and slumping down into a corner. Pulling your knees close to your chest as you cried silently to yourself, finding it difficult as the pain was just too much. Not even hearing the door open and close, when Harua stepped in and saw you sitting there he felt his heart strain. He crouched in front of you, reaching out and patting your head softly. “Yn?” he called out gently trying to get you to look at him, but you refused, instead pulling your knees closer to you. He let out a little sigh, prying your hands from around your knees, scooting closer to you and cupping your cheeks. Tilting your head up to look at him, seeing your state, hair a mess, nose and cheeks red from all of the crying. Fixing your hair and pushing it behind your ears, as he placed his forehead against yours. Brushing his nose against yours as he whispered an apology, saying he shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. Wiping away your tears as you let out broken sobs that you just wanted his attention, that you didn’t want it on anybody else. 

Your sudden confession shocked him, but he also knew subconsciously that the reason you did the things you did was because of that. And truth be told he didn’t mind, but what you didn’t know was that his eyes were always on you, even when you weren’t doing anything. Not saying a word Harua crashed his lips against yours. Sitting there surprised, your body frozen still trying to process what was happening. Drawing back slightly, still close to you as he looked into your eyes. You wrapped your hands on the back of his neck, pulling him in and kissing him back this time. Your lips moving against each other in perfect sync, pushing you down so you were now laying on your back. Positioning himself in between your legs, hands flying everywhere, tugging at one another’s clothes. Finally having your underwear thrown off, and his long forgotten. His hand trailing down and making contact with your clit, moving down to gather the juices that were already leaking from you. Spreading it around your pussy lips and rubbing your clit, moaning against his lips never departing from each other. 

Clawing at his button up shirt, your own hand finding its way to his semi hard cock, wrapping your fingers around it and giving it a squeeze before moving your hand up and down. Using his pre-cum as lubrication, breathy moans escaping him as he grabbed your wrist, pulling it away. “Can’t m’wait anymore” he groaned out, lining his thick cock head to your entrance, looking in your eyes for permission before he slid in. You lifted your head slightly to peck his lips, signaling that it was okay. He rubbed his tip from your hole to your clit, after a few times and you whining for him to put it in. He finally did, pushing his tip against your tight hole, penetrating you with his head which already sent a mix of pleasure through you from the stretch. He eased his length into your wet hungry cunt, minding not to go too quickly in fear of hurting you. As soon as he bottom out completely in, both of you realising moans from the pleasure of it. He struggled to keep his composure and not cum right away, but the way your walls sucked him made it close to impossible. 

Pulling out slowly and thrusting back in just as slow, he kept up his movements for a while. Until you started to wiggle your hips around, raising them up to match his hips to get him to go faster. He picked up what you were trying to do, grabbing your waist and holding you still he started to slam his hips down. The sound of skin slapping against one another resonating throughout the room, your moans getting drowned out as he pressed his lips against yours. Leaving wet messy open mouthed kisses, his tongue wrestling around with yours. You wrapped your legs around him, pulling him even closer to you, one of his hands sliding underneath your shirt and groping your breast through your bra. Feeling both of your highs building up, he never stopped. Trying to hold back his release, wanting you to cum first, he angled his hips slightly, the act causing his tip to brush right against your sweet spot. A loud moan being ripped out of your throat, your eyes rolling back from the intensity as his thumb also started to rub your clit in tight harsh circles. 

Your lower stomach muscles tightened, your legs shaking as your grip on his shirt tightened. You wet soft walls clenching around him feeling the pleasure take over you as your vision went white from the intense orgasm. He instantly pulled out of you, quickly jerking his dick off as white spurts of his release coated your thighs and swollen pussy. His body slumped against yours, laying on top of you as you both tried to catch your breath. He rolled over and pulled you close to him, running his fingers through your hair as he pressed a sweet loving kiss against your nose. You nuzzled close to him, mumbling a sorry against his neck, he only held you closer. “Don’t apologize”, he said resting his chin on your head, rubbing comforting shapes against your back. He didn’t say much after that, but the way he held you, you knew what he felt. Being held by him brought a new found comfort to you, now not wanting just negative attention from him. But wanting the positive kind, and he was sure to start showing it to you from now. 

[the-clock-of-the-time-dragon]

You know what, I'm fucking done arguing with a brick wall.

Hon you can just concede, agree to disagree, and be done with it, you don't have to pretend like I'm a "brick wall" who hasn't been making well-wrought points to refute yours. I took the time to respond very exhaustively to you, point-by-point — give me a fucking break, lmao

Send my apologies to your English literature teachers for having to put up with you.

I mean several of them are dead (it's been quite a long while since I was in school), so I'm gonna stop you right there. All I'll say is: people who are really truly into literature on a professional level, such as my mentors, or myself, have a strong appreciation for deep engagement with a text. What you think of as a "brick wall" (debate, exegesis, and fondness for overlooked details), my English lit teachers held in high regard. We had a hell of a lot of fun dissecting material together. It's fine that you don't enjoy this kind of thing, but don't pretend that it's somehow a slight against you, or that my points aren't worth seeing.

And take a good hard look about whether you would feel any different if the story stayed exactly the same except you swapped Fiyero and Glinda's genders.

Right back atcha, hon. Your takes have been pretty consistently sexist.

Let me leave you with one thought though, honey. If this is just "reading from the text" then presumably you think Winnie and Stephen agree with your delusions?

Winnie and Stephen pretty transparently wrote Fiyero to be the Early 2000s Slightly Rebellious Male Heartthrob For the Girls to Fight Over and not much else. He's been improved greatly in the film adaptation by NOT being that, and as I've said many times, I would love if they've ended up canonizing the double agent idea in the second film; albeit, as I've explained, I think that he'd lose something if he were made too straightforwardly "good". It doesn't matter whether Winnie, Stephen, or any of the directors or actors that have interpreted Fiyero over the years, specifically "agree" with me. Theatre of all mediums lends itself especially to a panoply of readings. There is no set-in-stone "canon". I just find certain takes to be ignorant of the details of the text, and I've argued against those takes. I happened, in the process, to do analysis which spawned further discourse. But it isn't like my analysis is Word of God: it's just fun to discuss ultima facie instead of prima facie. Your reading may well be closer to prima facie in certain ways — but that's not somehow an argument in and of itself for being "correct". You and I both made our arguments and apparently mine are now left to stand as ultima facie, as you have run out of counters.

Seems awfully cruel of them to go out of their way to save Elphaba from dying at the end of the story to leave her with an oh so awful fascist soldier?

The fact you seem to believe I think of Fiyero as "oh so awful" just tells me you haven't been engaging seriously with anything I've said.

He's a fascist soldier. That is something that should be reckoned with and examined in any real analysis of his character. He isn't "awful" — I never claimed he was, far from it — and he is certainly not the first or last character to have the narrative gloss over more troubling details and implications about what was written for them. But don't come at me for pointing those details and implications out, just because you personally dislike them, lol. I'm not the one who came up with Fiyero volunteering to become a fascist soldier: take that up with Holzman, lol

Also, if Elphaba was happy to fuck Fiyero in the woods and later leave with him, she clearly thought what he did was justified given the circumstance.

Hon, it's not that deep, lmao. They boned because they're passionate people with unresolved sexual tension suddenly given an opportunity — the only opportunity — to resolve it. Elphaba was not weighing his past several years for their moral soundness whilst riding him, lmfao

And I think the biggest Animal rights activist probably knows better than either of us the about the situation :)

Perhaps she does, perhaps she doesn't. We can only speculate. All we know is that she was frightened of him, and was worried he'd bought into the propaganda against her — which is a fair concern, given how he spent those years. She's relieved to find that he hasn't succumb to the hate against her, and that he isn't trying to harm her, and... that's really all that's stated, and that's all that need be stated. It's probably the first time in years that a human hasn't been her enemy — I don't think she wants to go there and review his choices, for her own sake, and I don't blame her for that one bit. But just because she doesn't go there doesn't mean that we shouldn't. We aren't bound to the POV of any singular character: we get to study them from beyond the fourth wall as much as we want, and there's a TON of interesting stuff there.

[Wicked Act II spoilers]

[edited for tone and clarity of purpose, apologies for initial crudeness and frustration]

Okay, obviously I'm biased, but I'm gonna need the Fiyeraba shippers to please set a lot of your people straight about some things. I've seen way too many people trying to say that Glinda is just a selfish bimbo and that Fiyero is a virtuous and selfless figure more worthy of Elphaba's love. I'll set aside for now the idea of "worthiness" in this context. But let's start off with Fiyero joining the Wizard. Hoo boy...

Yes, he was initially somewhat less tolerant of the propaganda against Elphaba than Glinda was; yes, he was secretly trying to find her so he could run away with her or whatever. But honey: those facts DO NOT fully absolve his actions as the Wizard's top officer, or selfish recklessness throughout Act II. I see so many popular threads and posts romanticizing and whitewashing with "oh but he didn't REALLY join the Wizard, he just pretended so he could try to get to Elphie! It's all for love, and he sacrificed everything for her!" As if the literal captain of the literally fascist forces responsible for the oppression of Animals wasn't equally responsible for said oppression?? Hello? Fiyero really didn't think of seeking out Elphaba in ANY other way that DIDN'T involve becoming *checks notes*... the trusted leader of the troops committing all the abuses she's fighting against in the first place???? Like it's cool and all that he helped with Brrr, and it's all well and good that he planned on betraying the Wizard as soon as he found Elphaba (which took literal years, so I guess we're left to assume he was prepared to just keep doing fascism indefinitely if she didn't show up????), but uh... it's kind of concerning to how eager some of you are to make excuses for this dude volunteering as the head of the Ozian Gestapo??? smdh

He didn't accomplish anything from it either, by the way — like yeah, we get it, he did everything he did whilst silently fantasizing about running away with the Witch he was being paid to hunt. Fine. But I can't be the only one who doesn't buy that as an actual excuse???? Like, guys: nobody forced him to join the fascist army — even with crazy ulterior motives. He wasn't coerced into it; it wasn't his only choice or anything. Searching for Elphaba did not somehow compel him to go and volunteer to follow (or to give!) orders in the name of the dictator who was trying to have her assassinated the entire time. He could have just not done all that. (Genuinely so curious how the second film plans on covering that material tbh)

Glinda made several questionable decisions that can be (and have been) debated, but she is still very unambiguously a victim. Her position in the Wizard's regime was foisted upon her. There are things we can discuss, but I find that many folks need reminding that Glinda would undoubtedly have been disposed of (or worse) if she failed to make herself useful. I mean hell: she wasn't even supposed to meet the Wizard in the first place — she was only there because of Elphie. If she'd tried to resist, it would have immediately gotten her labeled the Witch's accomplice. As soon as she'd chosen not to get on the broom, her fate was out of her hands, and all available options were varying degrees of horrible.

That's not the case with Fiyero. He went to the Wizard all on his own; no one ever cornered or forced him into it. Thinking Animals are people, and having a crush on Elphaba, simply did not stop him from carrying out the regime's orders — for years. It's not clear exactly how long he's been captain at the start of Act II, but the clear implication is that he's been a soldier for most of the time skip. I've seen Fiyeraba accounts with headcanons about him acting as a double agent, secretly doing stuff to help Animals — and that's a great idea, it would indeed serve to make a lot of his actions way more palatable — but until we actually get to SEE some of that (maybe they'll add it for the movie version of Act II; we'll have to see), there is nothing in the story to suggest that. He certainly didn't do a damn thing for all those Animals who were enslaved and caged in the Wizard's palace — and we don't see a single other Animal outside of there in Act II, so as far as we know Fiyero has participated over those years in the near-total removal of Animals from Ozian society. In the name of "finding Elphaba". Not fighting for her cause. Just finding HER. For HIMSELF.

It's fine to have a ship you like, obviously — and there is genuinely a lot to like about Fiyeraba, I don't dislike the idea of them as a couple or as friends — but come on guys: please stop those out there idealizing Fiyero as somehow a clear "morally-superior" alternative to Glinda, lol. The dude had power, access, and opportunities, for years, that he could have wielded in any number of really selfless, revolutionary ways. He didn't. And I propose (apparently controversially): he simply didn't want to. And that — at the end of the day — is (much as some would like to deny it) true to his character. He always WANTED to be self-absorbed and shallow, and all his actions are consistent with that. Elphaba saw depth and discontentment in him, yes: but (and I cannot stress this enough) when given the chance, he channeled that in the wrong direction. He didn't confront that and become a better person — for the most part he just displaced and projected it onto Elphaba as an object of obsession, and put on an even thicker pretense than before.

All his actions — regardless of the complexity he has deep down — are those of a man who never gives one fuck about anything or anyone, except (kinda sorta) Elphaba. But even then: at no time does the care he has for her seem to extend to caring about any of her wants or needs outside of sexual validation from him, or how she might feel about his actions, or indeed the impacts of those actions upon her, her cause, or anyone or anything else. I don't think it should be all that controversial to say: he doesn't think through the wider repercussions of anything he does — thoughtlessness is just one of his core character traits. He doesn't think ahead or see meaning in anything outside of what can temporarily excite him, in the moment. I think people place a little too much weight on Elphaba clocking him with regard to his internal pain, and seem to expect (understandably of course) that she is not only right, but moreover that he will grow from that in a positive direction, based on her influence.

But he doesn't. If anything, we get a surprising inverse: he pretty much proves her wrong. Not to say he didn't have hidden depth and all that, like she said: but his hypothetical heart of gold proves not to really amount to much in practice. He doesn't grow out of his shallowness and his self-centeredness: he grows into it in a way that he hadn't quite yet in school. Where once he was only masking an internal listlessness, after he's been cracked open by Elphaba he decides to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow, not just coasting by. He performs in new ways — as a soldier, eventually as a "fiancé", etc. — but by Act II we meet a Fiyero who has staked the last remaining shred of humanity in him on the vain pursuit of the only object of his desire that has ever been unavailable to him, and firmly chosen to say to hell with everyone and everything else.

When put to the test, Fiyero sacrifices Glinda, the Animals, and all else that Elphaba actually cared about, to pursue his own unresolved crush from college. Mostly to get in her pants, really — as harsh as I'm sure that sounds. But let me be frank: that is literally all he ever accomplishes in the show. He gives her dick one time, and one of his castles, and that's it. That's the culmination of his years trying to find her — years in which he actively worked as one of the stormtroopers (or even the one commanding them) committing untold crimes against Animalkind (who, again, it seems have been all but erased from Oz by Act II): y'know, the very crimes Elphaba sacrificed her life to try and stop????? He spent the most important time of his life — of his own free will — being a fascist soldier, but he "did it for her" somehow, so according to some, it's perfectly fine. Heroic, even. Yikes??

But let's make something very clear (since my original version of this post caught a lot of flak, including slurs and other rudeness):

I like Fiyero. I find his role extremely interesting (I could do a whole dissertation on him, but I'm especially a fan of the way his proving Elphaba's assessment of him wrong presents a fascinating parallel and contrast with Glinda, which I think is lost on a lot of people). But PLEASE stop with all the misguided Glinda slander and idealization of Fiyero. By all means, thirst! But don't give me all this bullshit about him deserving Elphaba more, or being super deep, or being really principled or noble or whatever else. He does have layers, and quite intriguing ones, but his insides are straw — he isn't meant to have some deep, overwrought emotional core or motivations; he has passions that he acts upon when given the chance. That's it. And that's fine. Actually kind of refreshing in a story rooted in simple children's fantasy but rife with intensely complicated personalities. Fiyero makes it his mission to represent denial of depth and embrace of raw, spontaneous desire — and I for one love that, and wish others appreciated it.

And in all seriousness, shipping wars aside: by the end of the story, it's Glinda who is ultimately vindicated, and has — for all her faults — made the necessary choices to fulfill Elphaba's wishes, bring down the regime, etc. And all that despite herself. She's miserable: not just because of the mistakes she made, but because of her correct moves as well. Fiyero is simply not — and could never be — that person. And that's okay! Like I said: I am not anti-Fiyero. Fiyero's willingness to throw it all away for the sake of sheer, overriding passion is a huge part of what people like about him, of course — and it's an obvious factor in the attraction between him and Elphaba, because she has her own flavor of that impulse as well — but I'd actually argue that it's not romantic, it's his fatal flaw. And thematically that's fantastic! But I just don't believe that it somehow means he "deserves Elphaba more" because he "gave up his life for her" or whatever. In part because NOBODY truly "deserves" Elphie tbh, not 100% (and I question anybody who claims otherwise), but ultimately because I don't accept the idea that his fleeting acts of passion make up for all the shit leading up to them (or even proceeding after them tbh). At least Glinda managed to do what Elphaba always wanted in the end — but I would die on this hill even if Gelphie didn't exist.

You don't have to agree with my analysis of Fiyero and his choices, relationships, etc. — that's fine. What isn't fine is trying to portray Glinda as some kind of spineless traitor whore for the Wizard and Fiyero as a conscientious hero who earned Elphie through self-sacrifice. That's just not the story that was written. It's WAY messier and more interesting than that.

[venomgender]

i miss doing theatre

[pinacoladamatata]

i just think