#and also i will totally 100% try to encourage the kids to climb trees but this is beyond the point

[sappho-favourite-pupil]

before i left tonight my girlfriend was like "i can totally picture myself ten or fifteen years from now scolding you yet again because you won't stop encouraging our kids to climb up on trees". and omg. oh my fucking god.

[justabeewithapen]

i bet Chiquitita grew up not being able to do any general roughhousing because of his condition </3 but now the kids are helping him get caught up with important childhood milestones such as: climbing and falling out of trees, hitting each other with sticks, running with sharp objects, mudball fights, and other common child deathgames! poor Mr Shrimp is having a rough time adjusting

(And some close ups)

I have so many thoughts on this ask, I am so sorry XD

Firstly, Mr. Shrimp is 1000% having a rough time adjusting, and for very good reason. While we don't know what Chiquitita has (and I tried to do some research to get a rough idea of this sort of thing in humans) we for sure know he has to be anemic to some degree--or whatever their species's version of that would be. Before they had a consistent source of blood transfusions I am sure that Chiquitita was practically bed ridden at times, frequent blood loss makes it hard to do anything without getting woozy and sick. Now that they have that source he can do a lot more, but he still has limits that are way under where a kid his age actually should be. If it wasn't for his work ethic and Chiquitita's insistence he was okay, Mr. Shrimp would be walking Chiki to school almost every day. The idea that his son can just, do things now, hasn't really clicked. Chiki (who is roughly 6-7-ish seeing as he is a first grader) is actually fairly aware of his own limits, but, with the encouragement of both other kids (<- link to a bonus chapter) and his babysitters, he has been trying to push them. We know from one of extras staring Chiquitita (<- read this bonus chapter first) that he probably doesn't have much interest in play fighting, but I feel like he would be very into athletics. Still, no matter how well he thinks he knows his limits he has 100% had to be picked up from school or brought home after getting faint. Those are the moments where Mr. Shrimp probably gets a bit too smothery, he is the biggest cry baby but I can't even blame him. This is where I dive headfirst into total headcanon territory, but I know this man has some intense insecurities about his ability to raise his son and finding the balance there is so hard. He has the space and time to think about this sorts of things instead of trying to survive day-by-day and I know it is eating him alive. He very openly blames himself for the death of his wife when he explains his backstory. He calls himself an alien word that very clearly is meant to be something like "Weakling" or "pathetic" and you can just feel the hate oozing off the page. He has issues. How long was he fighting every day just to see the next and make sure his family could too, like, this is the stuff I am talking about when I say he has PTSD. He was 100% willing to beat a teenager unconscious for the sake of a paycheck. (I know his singing is def just because he is kind of a silly guy, but imagine if he was doing it to distract himself from his horrible job. Singing about his son to remind him why he was there, do you see the vision????) I am constantly thinking about how his and Acrosilkie's stories are so similar, only, he came out of it with a good ending. Even when his life was safe and his son was safe he felt so indebted to the gang that he was willing to die in the Space Globalist Arc for a battle that wasn't even any of his business!! His life is the only thing he feels he can offer that is of any value man.... Anyway!! Do we think that Mr. Shrimp and Chiki bleed red when they are in their human disguises, or white still? I am leaning towards white but idk how I want to handle their shapeshifting fully. Also, hopefully I articulated my thoughts here okay T-T My brain is too full of them. (ASKS STILL VERY MUCH OPEN!!)

[artificialqueens]

Tree House Kisses, Chapter 19 (Adorney) - Scorpio and Veronica

A/N: Click here for previous chapters. xoxo!

Chapter Summary: Romance is in season. And as Courtney’s big day approaches, Adore continues to spoil her. Some people appreciate this more than others...

Chapter 19: We Go Together

As the recording of “Greased Lightning” finished for the second time, the boys all sighed and sat down. “Can we please take a break?” Bob asked.

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea,” Roy agreed. “Besides, I could really use some advice.”

“I already taught your girlfriend everything I know, Del Rio,” Willam offered, settling against the wall and stretching out his legs.

“Not like that. It’s just that Adore is doing this whole ‘ten presents for ten years of friendship’ thing. You just know they are all gonna be super deep and meaningful and Courtney cried at the first one and I have to think of something better. I cannot let Adore Delano beat me here.”

Bob laughed. “Okay, well, how about diamonds?”

“I’m also not a fucking millionaire, you idiot.”

“Okay, then how about a real sexy thong and some condoms?” Bod suggested with a wink.

“Yeah, great idea, Bob. I’m gonna give her condoms and a thong in front of her mother. You’re a genius.”

“You’re the genius that asked me for advice!”

“Anyone else? Jamin? Please?” Roy begged.

“Don’t ask me,” Jamin said. “My ex is a cunt who broke my heart.”

“Well, actually, you cheated on her, but potato potahto, I guess.”

Jamin scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

“Will? Come on, you hang out with all girls, you must have an idea.”

“I saw these really killer thigh high boots the other day. You should get those for her. Size 12.” He fluttered his lashes up at Roy, pursing his lips seductively.

“I hate all of you,” Roy moaned, resting his head against the wall. “Fucking Adore, she’s totally gonna win. I hate her too.”

Bob scoffed. “Roy, you’ve known Courtney longer than Adore has. You should be using that to your advantage.”

“That’s...true…” Roy considered this. “You know what, you’re right, Bob. Thank you!”

-

Courtney sat beside Roy in the front row of the theatre, watching the girls do the sleepover scene. They were working on Adore’s solo, “Freddy My Love,” and she was enjoying watching her friend ham it up. Mrs. Maguire was encouraging her to play around, going into the audience to “flirt” with people.

Adore pranced over to where she and Roy were sitting and shimmied her shoulders, then leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Courtney giggled.

“Yes, we know Courtney’s cute. Now try it with Roy,” Mrs. Maguire urged.

“You want me to give Roy a lap dance? Um, first of all, VOMIT--” Adore began.

“Thanks,” said Roy.

Adore rolled her eyes. “And second, I’m gay, so I’m pretty sure you asking me to do that is like, a crime against nature?”

Mrs. Maguire laughed. “I said flirt with him, Adore, not give him a lap dance. Like blow him a kiss or wink at him when you walk by. No touching required.”

“Oh.”

“Also, I am aware that you’re gay. And we’re all very proud. But your character is straight.”

Adore smirked. “See, I’m not so sure about that.”

“You’re telling me that you think Marty is gay? The character with 40 boyfriends?” Mrs. Maguire raised her eyebrows.

“Well that’s exactly it! She has forty boyfriends! So she’s obviously not very romantically minded with these boys, is she? I mean, she’s just using them for like, presents and money. She’s just kind of...using the assets she has at her disposal.”

Courtney laughed. “She’s an ingenious business person, actually.”

“Exactly!”

Mrs. Maguire tapped her foot. “So we’re playing Marty as a lesbian?”

“I mean, her name is Marty. Come on.”

“Alright, alright.” Mrs. Maguire laughed. “You’ve convinced me. Proceed.”

Adore raised her fists in triumph and then looked down at Courtney. “Get ready for a lap dance,” she said with a wink.

“I was born ready!” Courtney giggled.

Roy shot her a dirty look.

“What?!” she leaned her head on his shoulder, batting her eyelashes. “Like you’d say no to a lap dance?”

As rehearsal wrapped up, and the kids gathered their things, Adore sidled up to Courtney, slipping a wrapped package into her hands. Courtney looked up at her with a beaming smile, happiness filling her chest.

Adore grinned, knowing she was scoring extra points by giving her the gift in front of everyone, as the blonde excitedly unwrapped the slim box, emblazoned with the numbers “1997” in glitter. Inside, it contained a simple slip of paper, a rubbing of their names from the wall of Adore’s tree house.

-

“Come on!” Adore shrieked, dragging Courtney by the wrist, not even letting her swallow the cereal she’d just shoveled into her mouth.

“Alright, alright,” Courtney giggled, stumbling after her into the bright morning light and following her into her backyard, where she proudly showed off what had to be the most beautiful tree house Courtney had ever seen. “WOW!”

“I know, right!” Adore ran up to the ladder, pulling Courtney along.

They both scrambled up the ladder excitedly. Inside was even cooler than outside. Beanbag chairs, built-in cupboards, art supplies all ready to decorate it and make it their own...Courtney would be 100% jealous if it wasn’t for the next words that left Adore’s mouth.

“And I mean, I know it’s in my backyard, but it’s basically OUR tree house, ya know? I mean, ‘cause you’re my best friend. It wouldn’t be any fun without you.”

Courtney lunged forward, wrapping her arms around Adore’s shoulders happily. “It’s the best house ever and you’re the best friend ever.”

Without any warning, two heads popped up through the trapdoor. Roy and Bob. Ugh. Adore shrieked and slammed the door shut, nearly hitting them. “NO BOYS ALLOWED!”

“OW! ADORE!!” Bob yelled. “YOU POOP HEAD!”

“Jesus CHRIST, Adore, we just wanted to see it! What the FUCK!” Roy bellowed.

Adore stuck her head out the window. “Next week maybe, this week is girls only. Sorry!”

Courtney giggled and pulled her down onto one of the bean bags, cuddling together.

-

Courtney gazed at the rubbing, eyes misty. “Remember how we wanted to carve our names but no one would give us a knife so we had to steal the screwdriver from your mom’s toolbox?”

Adore nodded, giggling, and kissed her on the forehead. “And no one lost any fingers.”

Roy huffed. “Dude, you're making me look bad with this sentimental stuff,” he whined.

“Sorry, bro,” Adore replied with a smirk.

Courtney giggled. “I guess you’ll just have to try harder, babe.”

He crossed his arms. “And I’m still a little peeved about that ‘no boys allowed’ stuff.”

“Well, maybe if you didn’t bathe in Old Spice, I’d have let you in,” Adore commented, flipping her hair.

“Old Spice smells good,” Roy defended, then turned to Courtney. “You like it, right babe?”

“Totally,” Courtney assured him, cutting her eyes at Adore slightly, both of them laughing.

-

“Hey, Shea. Glad you took my advice.” Pearl pulled a chair next to her sewing machine and leaned casually on the table.

“Hey, Pearl,” Shea flashed her signature coy smile before going back to her work.

“Whatcha makin’?”

“A dress.”

“What kind of dress, Shea?”

“The kind that requires concentration, Pearl,” Shea quipped, with a hair toss and some side eye, trying to hide the mischievous glimmer in her eyes that told Pearl how much she was enjoying their interaction.

“Oh, well in that case...see you later, Shea.”

“Bye, Pearl.” Shea continued to concentrate on the sewing machine, not looking up until the last second, when Pearl paused in the doorway, tossing a wink over her shoulder. She quickly looked back down, cheeks heating up in embarrassment.

-

“Okay, everyone, please settle. We’ve just heard that there were no fatalities and all injuries were superficial, but we need to remain on lockdown while the police finish casing the school. So just sit tight, alright?” Mr. Harris was trying to maintain a semblance of order in the classroom after a shooting in the parking lot had led to a lockdown.

“Ughhh, this suuucks,” April whined. “I just finally heard from my brother, of course the asshole didn’t respond for like 30 minutes so I thought he was dead for the last half hour.” She shook her head. “He said it’s between the Cambodians and the South Americans.”

“Great, I guess I should call my brother,” said Violet, “Hopefully he’s not headed to Juvie.”

Pearl looked at Courtney, shaking her head. “It’s so awkward to be white in these situations, huh?”

“Actually, I’m a quarter Brazilian,” Courtney replied.

Adore’s head snapped up from her phone, where she’d been texting her cousins. “Courtney, there is serious gang violence going on. Shut the fuck up with that Brazil bullshit.”

Courtney slouched a little, whispering, “Sorry.”

“Oh, leave her alone, Adore. No one’s dead.”

“Yeah, this time,” Adore said.

“I said I’m sorry! I know it’s serious. I’m sorry.” Courtney reached for Adore’s hand. “Are your cousins okay?”

Adore sighed. “Yeah. Luckily they barely come to class, so…” Adore reached down into her bag, pulling out a box. “While we’re trapped here, might as well make the most of it…”

Courtney took the box, which had “1998” written on it, and opened it, smiling.

“Thanks, Dory.” Inside, it was filled with candy - Fun Dip, Sour Patch Kids, Tootsie Roll Pops, Pixie Stix, Pop Rocks. She clapped her hands, squealing. “Alright, who wants a sugar rush?!”

-

“Be quiet,” Adore shushed a giggly Courtney as they crawled past Bonnie, who was napping on the couch, and into the kitchen.

“Sorry,” Courtney smiled, as they stood up, Adore flicking on the kitchen light.

Adore lead Courtney to the cupboard, trying to quietly opened the door in hopes that the squeaky bolts wouldn't wake Bonnie.

“We went to the store yesterday and bought so much candies and cookies and chips.” Adore said excitedly.

Adore looked back at the kitchen entrance before climbing up the shelves. Courtney watched, mouth agape, before spinning around, the thrill of sneaking candy making it hard for her to stand still.

“Here,” Adore tried to whisper-yell as she threw the candy down from the bucket.

Courtney laughed in delight as she tried and failed to catch the candy. Adore jumped down landing with a loud thump.

“Adore?” Bonnie's voice caused both the girls to freeze in place, “Is that you in the kitchen, Dory?”

Courtney covered her mouth, scared that they’d been caught.

“Uh… Yes. I’m getting water,” Adore tried her best to sound like she wasn’t stealing candy.

“Okay, baby… Just keep it down.” Bonnie replied, sleepily.

“Yes ma’am.”

-

Candy wrappers were scattered across the tree house. Adore was splayed across a bean bag listening to the crackling of pop rocks in her mouth and Courtney’s leg shook as she dipped the stick into the sugary powder, mouth stained blue.

“This is soooo good!” Courtney said, wiggling in her spot.

Adore smiled as her best friend continued to do a little dance, “Did you try this? It pops in your mouth.”

Courtney’s expression turned into one of confusion and shock, “Pops!?”

“Yeah,” Adore nodded, scooting over to Courtney, “say ahh.” Adore said as she poured a few pop rocks into Courtney’s mouth.

She burst into laughter as Courtney let out a squeak of delight, green eyes going wide. “More more more!”

-

“Omigod, you were such a little hyperactive crackass when you ate all that sugar. You know what, this was a terrible idea, give me that candy back…” Adore said, reaching for the box.

“NO!” Courtney shrieked, holding it out of her reach. “It’s my birthday and I WANT CANDY!”

“Nope, I changed my mind…” Adore lunged forward, and the two girls laughed as they started play wrestling, Courtney holding fistfuls of the candy in her hands, trying to shove a lollipop into Adore’s mouth. “It’s mine, you bitch!” she laughed.

Pearl glanced up with a grin on her face, and caught Violet’s eye, the brunette looking as irritated as ever by Courtney and Adore’s weird dynamic. She suppressed a small laugh, reaching over to the open box and taking a package of candy, then walking over to Violet’s seat.

“Hey, Vies. Found some candy with your name on it. Wanna share?” She held up the package of Sour Patch Kids.

“Hilarious,” Violet said drily.

Pearl opened the candy and perched on Violet’s desk. “Would you lighten up? Come on…” she held out the open package.

“You know, you’re not nearly as cute as you think you are,” Violet commented, taking a few of the sour candies with an eyeroll.

“Oh yeah? And how cute am I?” Pearl asked, fluttering her lashes.

“Go fuck yourself…” Violet pushed her off the desk.

Pearl laughed and blew her a kiss. “See you later, muffin. Always a pleasure.”

-

“Hey, Adore what’s up?” Raja asked as Adore slid into the booth across from her, grabbing the plate of pizza that Raja pushed towards her. Adore loved that Raja worked at Cici’s Pizza because it meant free pizza for Adore and she was not one to turn down free pizza.

“Hey. I was wondering if you had any plans for next weekend?” Adore asked, picking at the cheese of her pizza a bit nervous.

“Nothing concrete. What’s up?” Raja shrugged, biting into her slice of pizza.

“Well, Courtney’s having a party on Saturday...”

“Who’s Courtney?” Raja asked, nose scrunched up in confusion.

“My best friend,” Adore was slightly taken aback that Raja wasn’t familiar with her, “The blonde, she’s doing the Radio Voice part...” Adore tried to jog Raja’s memory, but she only shook her head. “I gave a birthday present to at rehearsal the other day.”

“Oh, she’s the one dating that Roy dude?”

“Yeah… she’s dating Roy.” The tone in Adore’s voice changed. Maybe inviting Raja wasn’t the smartest idea.

“Mmm, nah. I think I might be busy, but if you want to hang out after then just text me and let me know, okay?” Raja smiled, looking at Adore with those hypnotizing brown eyes.

The butterflies fluttered in her stomach and Adore nodded. She figured that Courtney’s party wasn’t exactly Raja’s style, but it hadn’t hurt to ask.

-

Trinity and Fame laid spread across Violet’s bed, staring down at the dark-haired girl as she stretched her legs; complaining about school and school related things.

“When is your next recital?” Trinity asked, changing the subject, fingers drumming against the frame of Violet’s bed.

“In May.” Violet said, switching to the other leg.

“We're all going again?”

“Maybe,” Violet shrugged, “If I want to get you all tickets.”

Trinity rolled her eyes, before looking over to Fame, raising an eyebrow posing a silent question. Fame shrugged and nodded at Trinity.

“So, can we talk about the elephant in the room,” Fame said twirling her hair around her fingers.

“You shouldn’t talk about yourself like that,” Violet sat back on her hands a smirk on her lips.

“Fuck you!” Fame laughed, throwing a pillow at Violet.

“I’m kidding. You’re incredibly beautiful.” She smiled sweetly at Fame.

“Well, I wasn’t going to bring it up but since Fame did… let’s talk about it.” Trinity sat up, folding her legs under herself.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Violet said, moving into a split and stretching forward.

“You and-”

“Adore,” Fame finished for Trinity.

“Who?” Violet asked, staying in her position to avoid looking at either of the girls.

Trinity and Fame glance at each other, concern apparent on both their faces.

“Don't play dumb, just tell us what happened.”

“You were there, Trin. She told us, nothing happened.” Violet stood up, grabbing the stray pillow and tossing it back onto the bed.

“That’s what Adore said, but from the way that you’re acting it was more than just nothing.” Trinity rolled her eyes at Violet’s stubbornness.

“I’m not acting like anything,” Violet shot back. “Nothing's wrong.”

“We’re just trying to solve whatever this is between you two, because lunch is starting to get a bit awkward for everyone,” Trinity snapped back.

“Yeah…” Fame nodded.

Violet crossed her arms, looking down at her carpet with sudden interest, before finally sighing, “Fine whatever, it won’t be awkward at lunch anymore.”

“Good, as long as you and Adore are still friends, the group--” Fame started.

“I didn’t say we were friends.” Violet said pointedly, gaining groans of frustration from both the girls.

-

Courtney sat at her desk, half-heartedly working on her English essay while exchanging pictures of possible ideas for the centerpieces via AIM with Darienne, who was the queen of crafting. She’d already helped her with the invitations and was turning out to be a real lifesaver.

Courtney turned her head when she heard knocking on the window, puzzled to see Adore’s face pressed up against the glass. “Let me in!”

Courtney walked over to the window and opened it, giggling. “What are you doing?” She helped her wiggle through the window.

“I was trying to--OW! Be like, cute and it sort of relates to the present, but it would have been a lot more dramatic if you weren’t on the ground floor.”

Courtney laughed and helped her up off the carpet, taking the offered present, labeled “1999.” She opened it to reveal a DVD of Dawson’s Creek, and burst out laughing. “Okay, I get the window thing now. Thank you.”

They moved to sit on the bed. Adore grinned. “Remember how our parents found out that they like, talked about masturbation in the first episode and so they thought it was inappropriate and didn’t let us watch, and so we had to secretly tape it and watch in your sister’s room?”

“Yes! Which was totally hypocritical because like, masturbation was a frequent dinner table conversation in my house. I think my mom was just trying to make the same rules as Bonnie or something dumb like that.”

“Does your mom still try to talk to you about--”

“No, thank goodness, but she did ask me if I thought she should wax her vagina last week. Like I’m supposed to know what’s trendy in vagina grooming.”

“Oh my GOD, Karen.”

“I was like ‘I’m pretty sure that’s a personal decision, mom, and I support whatever choice you make.’”

“I’d have probably left the room and not talked to her for a month.”

“Well she accosted me in the dressing room while we were buying my outfit for the party! But at least she let me get the dress I wanted.” Courtney grinned.

“Was it really worth it?” Adore grimaced.

“You’ll have to tell me.” Courtney rolled over, laughing, chin resting on her arms. “So what are you up to tonight?”

“Uhh...I’m supposed to be hanging out with Raja later, when she gets off work.”

“Has anything...happened with her?” Courtney asked tentatively.

Adore groaned, grabbing a pillow and hugging it to her chest. “Ugh, no, and it’s driving me nuts. Like...I like her so much, and I think she likes me too, but then...sometimes I think it’s all in my head. I feel so stupid.”

Courtney swallowed, ignoring the strange feeling in her stomach whenever she thought about her best friend with the beautiful senior. “It’s not all in your head,” she said softly. “She definitely likes you.”

“Then what is TAKING SO LONG?!” Adore whined. “I mean, it’s not like I wanted a fucking Valentine, but why isn’t she making any moves?”

Courtney tilted her head. “Why does she have to make the moves?”

Adore looked at her. “Well...I mean…I don't know. Cause she's the grown up.”

Courtney raised an eyebrow. “Dude.”

“Good point.” Adore giggled. “I guess I better put up or shut up.”

“Guess so.” Courtney bit her lip.

Adore sat up. “I should probably get going.”

“Wanna use the door?”

“Well, that depends. What are the odds that Karen’s gonna ask me about pussy waxing on my way out?”

“Well. You’re a lesbian, so she’ll probably really value your opinion in this area. Thirty percent?” Courtney grinned.

“I’ll risk the window.”

Courtney laughed and stood up. “I’ll give you a boost.”

-

Courtney paced around her room with a clipboard, talking to Darienne on the phone.

“Yeah, so Thorgy and I finished the video yesterday and he’s gonna film the party and edit that together too. He’s a real lifesaver, actually. My mom did thankfully cave on the still photographer, but she’s making me hire this guy that’s like her friend’s son in film school so hopefully he doesn’t fuck it up...Yeah, I know.”

Roy reached for her hand as she passed him, but she shook him off.

“No, Todd is taking care of that. My mom’s boyfriend. He’s proving very useful.” Courtney laughed. “I know, it’s really helpful that she’s dating a guy 15 years younger than her right now. Can you come over tomorrow to finish the place cards and centerpieces and stuff? I’m finally done with the seating chart. That took FOREVER.”

Roy attempted contact again, this time crawling towards her when she sat down on the bed, trailing his fingers up her back.

“Thanks, Dari. I’ll talk to you later. Love you.” Courtney hung up the phone, then consulted her clipboard with a furrowed brow.

“Hey, babe…”

“Yeah?” Courtney pulled a pen out of her hair and wrote a note down on the clipboard.

“Maybe you could like, take a break from the party stuff for a little bit?” He flashed his dimples at her.

Courtney looked up at him with an irritated expression, sighing.

“Roy, I really don’t think you understand how many details there are to worry about. I still have to finish the song list for Tomas, and make all the centerpieces, and make the shopping lists for Costco for the drinks and supplies and I know I’m gonna forget something and what if something goes wrong--”

Roy held up his hands. “Alright, alright, I’m sorry. I just thought we could relax for like, a minute.” He leaned forward to kiss her shoulder and she swatted him away. “Do you want me to leave?”

“Do you want to leave?” Courtney asked.

He looked up at the ceiling, muttering a silent prayer, and then said, “I am trying to be here for you, but it feels like I’m just annoying you.”

Courtney bit her lip. “Maybe you could be here for me without making me feel like I’m neglecting you because I’m not making out with you every second.”

“Well...but you are neglecting me,” he said, attempting another charming smile, hands sliding around her waist.

“Roy!” Courtney threw up her hands.

“One kiss…”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re so irritating.”

“I know, my persistence is my best quality.”

Courtney leaned over and kissed him quickly. “There, happy now?”

“No, because I’m an addict and you’re my drug…”

Courtney crossed her arms and glared at him, looking at his pouty lips and finally breaking into a smile, tossing her clipboard down and climbing on top of him.

“You’re impossible, you know that?”

“I know, but that’s why you love me, right?”

She rolled her eyes again. “I guess…” He tickled her ribs and she laughed, squirming, until she was gasping for breath and begging for him to stop.

“Hey…”

“What?”

Roy took her face in his hands. “Happy almost birthday.”

Courtney smiled and pulled him in for a deep kiss.

-

COURTNEY: Are you home? Just got out of practice.

ADORE: Nope, at Raja’s. Srry

COURTNEY: I was really hoping we could hang out today : (

COURTNEY: Could use your help with last minute planning for my birthday party.

ADORE: Thought you’d have everything together by now.

COURTNEY: K

ADORE: Look under your bed.

Courtney couldn’t help the smile that stretched across her face as she dropped to the ground, looking under her bed. She pulled out a decorated box, “2000” written across it in gold glitter. Courtney tore the top off, eager to see what her present was. A mixed of emotions flowed through her, but she couldn’t help but laugh with joy as she pulled out a silver plastic necklace, the word “BABY” in sparkly block letters. The note simply said:

Darienne was right. You should have been Baby. And I should have been Ginger. You’re a cunt.

She laughed and sat the box on her bed, grabbing her phone.

COURTNEY: FUCK YOU I’M NOT BABY! I’M GINGER 4 LYYYYYYFE

ADORE: so when you said I would be Ginger next time, that was a lie?

COURTNEY: duh

ADORE: CUNT

COURTNEY: lolz

COURTNEY: Although...this does give me a perfectly wonderful idea for the party…

ADORE: I’m afraid to ask.

COURTNEY: MWAHAHAHA

ADORE: See you tomorrow?

COURTNEY: Of course! Love you

-

ADORE: Outside

A minute later, the door flung open and Manila Luzon was smiling at her.

“Hey, girl! We’re upstairs,” the older girl turned, leading her into Raja’s house. Adore’s brows furrowed as she closed the door behind her. When Raja invited her over to watch a movie she thought it would just be the two of them. Adore had yet to properly meet any of Raja’s friends, other than Manila who came over once while they were hanging out to take back a dress that she’d left over.

Adore followed Manila up the stairs, the girl complaining about how they’d yet to choose a movie to watch because Raven was being difficult.

“She’s always bitching and it’s makes things a lot harder than it should be,” Manila groaned pushing open Raja’s bedroom door.

“Fuck you!” Raven said, “I’m not watching Mean Girls for the billionth time,” Raven rolled her bright blue contact eyes before shuffling through the stack of DVDs in her lap. Raven sat on the floor in front of Raja’s bed, where she was joined by Manila. A plumper girl with bleached hair and dark eyebrows sat in the chair at Raja’s desk clicking through her phone. Adore hovered in the doorway when she saw Raja laying on her bed--head in Carmen’s lap. Adore was somewhat familiar with the dark-eyed junior, since she’d dated Roy back when they were all in Junior High. Although she’d gotten a lot taller and more beautiful since then. Damn.

“Hey,” Adore said with a small wave of her hand. Manila looked up at her with a smile, Carmen gave a small wave back, the girl at Raja's desk only glanced up from her phone and Raven continued looking for a movie, completely ignoring Adore.

Raja raised up from Carmen's lap, “Hey,” she smiled. “Come sit by me.” Raja patted the bed, maneuvering so Adore could have some room.

���Don’t you think it’s a little crowded with all three of us?” Carmen's nose wrinkled.

“Be a doll and move over, or I’ll make you sit on the floor!” When Carmen crossed her arms, turning up her nose, Raja started to tickle Carmen's side, causing her to yelp and burst into a fit of laughter.

Adore made her way to sit on the end of Raja's bed, trying to ignore the burning jealousy in her chest. Even though she was ninety-six point five seven percent sure that Carmen was straight, watching Raja be so physical with the pretty girl made the wheels turn in Adore’s head. They've been hanging out for a few weeks now and nothing had happened. Nothing. The most Adore had gotten were a few lingering touches on her shoulder or arm that didn’t seem to mean much when all added up. Adore had really thought that Raja was interested in her, the same way she was in Raja.

Apparently, she was wrong. She tore her eyes away from the giggling girls, situating herself on the edge of the bed. Her phone then lit up with a text from Courtney, wanting her to come over. Adore tried to block out the two girls behind her, focusing on texting Courtney.

“Hey, Adore.” Manila called, and Adore looked up to see Manila holding one DVD case and Raven another. “Bring It On or Scream?”

“Uh…” Adore thought for a moment.

“I don't even know why you asked her, she’s a plus one. She gets no vote,” Raven sneered, before calling on the girl in the chair to choose. “Delta?”

Adore frowned. She’d heard Raven was a bitch through rumors, but she didn’t expect her to be such a bitch. She made Violet look like a teddy bear.

“Um, I think I’d rather watch Bring It On,” she said.

“Yay!” Manila clapped.

“Really? You have awful taste,” Raven groaned.

“I would vote for Scream,” Adore butted in, not wanting Raven to think that she got the best of her.

“Okay, well at least your taste in movies isn't as bad as your taste in clothes,” Raven said, snickering to herself.  

“The fuck--” Adore started, completely forgetting where she was for a moment. Manila elbowed Raven and Raja shot up from where she had been wrestling with Carmen.

“Woah! So first of all: We're not watching a scary movie--”

“It's not even scary.” Raven defended.

“Whatever,” Raja rolled her eyes at Raven, “Out of the question and second: Adore is my guest, so… don't fucking insult her.”

“Whatever.”

-

Adore couldn’t focus on the movie. Her mind was racing and her eyes kept glancing over at Raja who was mindlessly playing with Carmen’s hair. Adore already felt out of place amongst the older girls, but seeing the way Raja interacted with Carmen really made her feel like an idiot. This entire time she thought or hoped that Raja was interested in her romantically to some degree, but it seemed that Raja just wanted to be friends.

Adore tried to put together where she should have taken the hint or might have misinterpreted any signs, but she couldn’t find any.

Soon, the movie was over and Delta stood, stretching.

“I need to head out. If I'm late for dinner my ma will kill me. Plus tonight she's making tamales and my Tio acts like he doesn't understand the difference between a family dinner and a buffet,” Delta grabbed her bag. “Carmen, need me to take you home?”

“Yeah, let me grab my stuff,” she scurried to put on her shoes.

A warm hand on Adore’s arm grabbed her attention, “I'll take you home,” Raja said in a low voice as she leaned in; face inches from Adore’s. Adore only nodded.

“I’ll walk you guys out,” Raja stood at her door as the girls gathered their things.

“Bye Adore,” Manila waved as she left the room.

“Yeah, bye Adore. Tell Roy I said ‘hey’. You guys still hang out, right?” Carmen asked as she finished putting her shoes on.

Adore had to stop herself from making a face. As all eyes were suddenly on her.

“Roy? Del Rio? Your ex?” Delta asked, surprised.

“Mhm,” Carmen nodded and Adore avoided looking at Raja, as she felt the older girl’s eyes on hers.

“Yeah, uh, we grew up together. Live on the same street,” Adore nodded, running her fingers through her hair.

“Don’t he date... Uh what’s her name,” Carmen pondered, and Adore had a suspicion that she hadn’t really let Courtney’s name slip. She had all night to think about it.

“Courtney,” Adore said, sitting up.

“The cute blonde?” Raja asked, her dark eyes never leaving Adore and Adore couldn’t help feeling cornered, as if this had been planned.

“Yeah. Um, I’ll tell him you said ‘hey’ next time I see him,” Adore said, desperate for the conversation to end.

“Cool,” Carmen gave a sly smile and Raven mumbled something under her breath, causing Delta to cackle, before turning to leave, followed by Manila and the rest of the girls.

Adore put on her shoes as she waited for Raja to come back up and take her home, but she couldn’t stop thinking about her conversation with Courtney the other day. Maybe she should be the one to make the first move. She wouldn’t know how Raja felt until she asked her.

“Ready to go?” Raja startled Adore, who stood up quickly.

“Yeah... well, actually I wanted to uh… ask you something,” Adore’s heart thumped in her chest as Raja raised a brow.

“Shoot,” she said, leaning back against her dresser.

“Do you actually like me? I mean, like like me, because at first I thought maybe there was... Um something between us. But now I’m kind of confused. I mean if you don’t its cool. I don’t want to make things weird or anything, but I just thought-” Adore’s rambling was cut off by Raja pushing herself off her dresser.

“You’re too cute, you know that,” Raja’s husky voice rang through Adore’s ears as she approached.

Once Raja reached Adore, all she could focus on was the older girl’s long arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer. Adore leaned forward on her toes, eyes fluttering shut; the feeling of Raja’s warm breath on her face was hypnotizing. She smelled of weed and something else intoxicating, almost floral.

“Can I kiss you?” Raja asked and Adore made a noise of agreement that she’d let herself be embarrassed about later.

But all thoughts were lost as Raja pressed her lips to hers. She tangled her fingers into Raja’s hair, a giddy smile spreading across her face as she melted against the older girl’s body.

“Fuck,” she whispered, giggling slightly.

Raja smiled and pulled her head back, tilting her chin up. “What?”

“You’re just...really hot.”

“I know,” Raja replied with a wink, letting go and sashaying to the door. “Come on, let’s go make out in the car, where my mom won’t walk in.”

“Deal!” Adore exclaimed, running after her, cheeks pink with happiness.

[cnc-hoebayb]

Dumb dad things the boys would be caught doing

Zabdiel

-super casual and simple but like

-Hed totally get caught just pushing your kid over

-Like he doesn’t know you saw so when your little boy just plops down and starts whining you just “why’d you do that?”

-And he plays it off “i didn’t do anything wym”

-“Zabdiel i literally just saw you push our son”

-He shrugs

-“I think he kinda deserved it”

-DESERVED IT

-bc he was in his bubble apparently ur kid deserved it. Valid

-probably would get caught having a full convo with your son too

-not even about fun cute kid stuff either, it’s about things he needs to remember to do, telling him a story about something douchey someone did on tour

-Thats just very Zabdi, long deep thought out talks with his bb son about life even though he can’t understand

-K but something dangerous but not really

-Zabdiel is kinda aloof sometimes rigjt

-and is big gentle man giant

-So i see him as doing something like letting your toddler climb him literally like a tree when he’s bored and while Zab is busy on the phone or doing something important and just can’t handle it rn

-example

-Hes multitasking big time while you’re gone

-He needs to be on this call right now, but has to start making dinner and cleaning some little messes here and there

-Your son is begging for attention that he just can’t give

-so he does what any dad would do and just picks him up to ease him

-And after awhile ur kid gets kinda restless, starts climbing dad like a play thing

-he climbs up and down his torso, on his head, jumping back onto him from the counter when Zabdi sets him down for a second

-Which is valid given Zabdiel can handle it and can take care of his kid, but...

-it’s not the best sight to see walking in the door to your family with your son next to a hot stove top, plunging himself off to dangle off of your baby daddies stiff arm

Erick

-Youre driving home from work/school after a long day

-You pull into your neighborhood and on the corner of your street you spot it

-Your child

-On a baby leash

-in somEONES YARD

-rolling around in the leaves

-Erick just laughing and encouraging

-and you honk at them from your view in your car and when he sees you

-He starts laughing even harder

-Totally catch him one night playing with your kid in his room

-and as you peek in you see them just hangin, playin and all of a sudden your son snatches a plastic Dinosaur rigjt out of Ericks hands

-and Erick really sadly “heeeyy- i was playing with that 😞”

-Hed start fake crying

-Your son gets sad too and starts actually crying

-“lo siento, daddy im really sorry” in between sobs (also imagine that voice and ur lil boy with a lisp)

-Erick panics

-“aahh esta bien, niño. Let’s play with the Dino together.”

-Holds your little boy in his lap and they play together

-You cry happy tears a lil bit in the hallway

-Erick is also still like a child so this is 100% truth:

-Would get caught actually genuinely arguing with your son

-Theyre yelling at each other (your son in baby toddler babbles), and Erick is heated heated

-“que está pasando niños??” You try to gauge the situation immediately

-“he stole my last ice cream sandwich i hid in the fridge!!”

-You want to yeLL

-“Erick...”

-he glares at your son, who revolts with a tongue sticking out and arms crossed

-“you think you’ll get away with it, huh? Cuz ur cute,” he argues with him and you have to actually talk him down from his stubbornness

-“i was saving it for later today :(( “ he whines as you pull him in like you would your baby for a comforting “its ok” hug

Joel

-You’d be in the kitchen

-Come out into the living room to ask Joel to get ur little baby ready to eat

-And you catch him deadass recording your baby crying on the floor, a pile of toys around her

-“bro tf”

-“She was dancing and fell into her toy box”

-“Then whY you recording ?”

-“.....bc it was funny 😔”

-Would also do your daughters hair himself sometimes and dress her

-And you know he knows what he’s doing

-But like he also forgets she’s a baby too

-You have to remind him your daughter really shouldn’t be using his grown man curl products just yet

-or that she can’t wear a shirt that says “fuck” in it

-and she is definitely not wearing a bandana like that to picture day

-teaches your kid how to thirst trap !!

-this hoe!

-catch them both in the bathroom mirror one day, he’s shirtless, lil cute baby girl in his arms

-and she’s serving !!

-Like duh she’s your guys’ kid so she’s beautiful n shit but

-she’s posing and tilting her head in the right angles in this cute lighting (bc daddy taught her to find her perfect angle)

-He shrugs like “what’d you expect, we’re hot stuff” and smirks

Richard

-Openly and unapologetically teaching your kid how to say bad words

-and recoRDING IT

- to POST on his insta

-also would get caught scripting a whole thing for her to perform for the camera

-convinces her that the reason his hair is red is bc he drank all of his juice mommy gave him instead of spilling it out for the dog to drink

-your kid chugs down that juice like her life depends on it so she can have red hair like papi too

-tells her stories that the snacks she wants to eat before dinner make you scream and that’s why she shouldn’t eat them before dinner

-convinces her by shoving his mouthful of potato chips and immediately starts screaming to prove his point

-ur kid laughs but is also kinda terrified

-gets caught reading her stories and getting reallyyyy into it

-like acting and doing dramatically different voices for the characters

-Does the Joel thing and just dresses her head to toe in ICE like the most expensive jewelry and clothes

-kinda salt bc you don’t even dress like that

-have to stop her before you send her to school bc you know she’s gonna lose one of those expensive necklaces in the sand box or something

Christopher

-Another instance where you’re driving home alone

-Whipping down the street to see your toddler running down the sidewalk a few blocks away happily

-You flip and swerve over to park on the side of the street bc wtf ! Your kid !!

-But as soon as you park you see him

-Its Chris sprinting just as fast, frantically too

-Finally catches up with your kid and swoops her up in his arms with a relieved breath

-You roll down your window slowly

-“You pretty lil things need a ride home?” You yell out and when he looks up to see you caught him he’s dEAD

-also teaches your daughter how to cuss and cackles so hard bc it’s funny to hear her call each of her uncles “puto”

-id see something happening like

-You walk out of the room for one second during dinner and when you come back it’s food fight chaos

-Chris and your kid are racing to see who can eat the fastest but also there’s food flying everywhere bc they’re trying to distract one another and win

-lil baby hits Chris in the eye with a fistful of eggs (in this scenario it’s breakfast for dinner thx) and then he counters the hit by throwing his whole pancake at her face

-also gets caught playing dress up a little too good

-You glimpse in her room and she’s painting his nails, slapping on some gross little kid lipgloss all over his face

-and all the while Chris is smiling and acting like a pretty lady, flipping his hair around and batting his lashes all nice

-they spew some chisme back and forth, sip fake tea, and do cute model walks down the room

-You take secret pictures of the event for later blackmail

[gethealthy18-blog]

How to Keep Kids Active With Adventure Points

New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/news/how-to-keep-kids-active-with-adventure-points/

How to Keep Kids Active With Adventure Points

Table of Contents[Hide][Show]

Imagine a world where kids happily keep themselves busy and learning while doing activities that they love and learning math at the same time. A place where kids compete in a friendly way by doing athletic activities, creative games, and reading books.

Sounds too good to be true, right?

I’ve always heard that necessity is the mother of invention and this is certainly true of this Adventure Points idea. Ever had one of those motherhood moments where every child needed something at the same time, one had just spilled a smoothie everywhere and the baby needed a diaper change?

I had one of those moments and realized that for the sake of my sanity and the kids’ activity levels I needed to have a plan for summer that didn’t involve them watching TV every day.

We reinstitute the system every summer or over breaks. It puts my kids’ natural creative and competitive sides to work for the good of all!

What Are Adventure Points?

We already have the “Mom I’m Bored Jar” which works really well but is more of a help when they are already bored. I wanted to find a way to encourage them to find activities without getting bored in the first place.

In short, this is a simple system of points for doing creative or athletic activities that encourages movement and creative play over TV watching. It also has surprisingly reduced the bickering and fighting in our house.

The idea for the name “Adventure Points” came from my kids’ hiking boots, which they call “Adventure Boots” since they wear them for hiking, fort building, and other outdoor adventures.

How Adventure Points Work

I sat down with a piece of paper and thought of activities I wanted my kids to do this summer and assigned a point value to each. The kids helped me brainstorm and we came up with a big list of activities that they enjoy (that don’t involve a screen or a snack). Things like:

Riding bikes (30 mins) = 10 points

Pull-ups = 2 points each

Push-ups = 1 point each

Swimming = (30 mins) = 10 points

Drawing (30 mins) = 5 points

Preparing a meal for the family = 20 points

Reading a book = 5 points

Reading a chapter book = 20 points

Fort-building = 20 points per hour

Folding origami (30 mins) = 10 points (Great tutorials in this book)

Make paper airplanes (30 mins) = 10 points (They love this book for ideas)

Draw with sidewalk chalk (30 mins) = 10 points

Read to a sibling (30 mins) = 25 points each

Climb a tree = 5 points per tree

Do a chore (not on regular chore list) = 10 points

Play Monopoly = 15 points

Play Scrabble = 15 points

Play Battleship = 10 points

Play Chess = 10 points

Play Uno = 5 points

Play War (card game) = 10 points

Play Apples to Apples = 10 points

Play hopscotch = 2 points

Jump rope = 3 points

Weed garden (30 mins) = 10 points

Play a game of wiffle ball = 15 points

Water the plants = 5 points

Run around the yard 5 times = 10 points

Jump on the trampoline for 10 minutes = 3 points

Do a puzzle = 20 points

Do 25 cartwheels = 10 points

Write and mail a letter to friends or family = 10 points

Create a scavenger hunt for siblings = 10 points

Play Legos (30 mins) = 10 points

Get caught doing something unexpected and kind = 50 points bonus

Rollerblade outside (30 mins) = 10 points

Listen to a history podcast = 10 points

Watch a TED talk (from this list) = 10 points

Watch/do a lesson from Udemy or Great Courses = 15 points

I thought of about 50 activities that were worth points and assigned values to each. Then, I made a list of fun family activities that would be good goals for milestone points. 100 points would earn a healthy dessert after dinner one night while 1000 points would earn a larger reward like a special activity, new art supplies, or a contribution toward something they’ve been wanting. (Tip: Use things you plan on doing anyway! This is just a fun way for the kids to earn them).

I’ve also found that the kids are excited to be helpful around the house when I offer “bonus points” for doing thing above and beyond their normal responsibilities.

After a few days of using the system, I decided to create two separate lists for older kids (5+) and younger ones (4 and under) to match their skill levels since the younger kids were being left behind by older kids (who could do many more pull-ups!).

How to Implement Adventure Points

If you’d like to try this system (and I’d highly recommend it!), here are a few tips for getting started:

1. Decide on Activities That Work in Your Home/Yard

Make a list of activities you’d like your kids to do and break it down by age group if needed. Figure out how much each activity is worth in the point system you’d like to use and assign a point value to each. Feel free to use my list as a start!

2. Decide on Rewards

Chances are that while points are a great motivator, your kids won’t be thrilled with just earning points that don’t mean anything. Decide on what the points will allow the kids to do or earn and create a list of this for the kids. We try to focus on activities and experiences rather than stuff so our rewards were activities, but physical rewards can be great too especially if they will help kids be active or build a life skill.

Some ideas of material rewards that encourage learning:

3. Track the Points

I realized that the system wouldn’t encourage the independent creative time I was hoping for if the kids had to check in with me every time they did an activity to get the points. I decided to use the honor system (which has worked really well so far) and get each kid a small spiral notebook to track points. This way, the kids track their points each day and I just tally once a day to keep the running totals.

I also created a chart to help track the points for each activity. You can download a copy for yourself here.

4. Enjoy Watching Your Kids Learn and Play!

I was really hoping that creating “Adventure Points” would free up some of my time by stopping the refrains of  “I’m bored” and “Can we watch a movie.” It certainly has and I’m definitely grateful for that.

I’ve found that even more than the free time, I’ve enjoyed watching my kids creativity soar and the older kids play with the younger ones more easily since they have more structure and ideas for activities (and because there is a goal in mind). Also, keeping track of points has been a fun and unexpected math boost for the little kids as I keep hearing questions like “Does 243 plus 15 equal 258?!” 🙂

Your turn! What are some fun ways you encourage creativity and activity during free time at home?

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/120815/adventure-points/

[rutisup-blog]

Spring Skiing with the Silver Surfer

  04/29/17 – Bed, Fort Badass. 5:40 AM

The alarm clock fills the room with FM radio, waking me up–It’s time to get dressed quickly, I have a ride to Tahoe picking me up at 06:00 AM. It’s my friend and co-worker Rachel, someone who tells coders what to do. As expected, she’s on San Francisco time…that is, she’s running late. I’ve anticipated this, one of the many characteristics you develop after moving to California.

She arrives around 06:30, and she’s overshot it a little down the block–no worries. In the mean-time I have eaten breakfast–Siggi’s plain skyr style yogurt with a handful of almonds. I lug my board, boots, backpack, and duffel bag down the sidewalk, loading it into her boyfriends Gray Nissan Altima. There’s an extra California license plate in the trunk, caked with years of accumulated dirt. We’re both tired, loading my gear in the back.

“I forgot my pass, we need to swing by my place” says Rachel, looking sorry. I don’t mind, I always expect delays in SF. I direct her to Townsend Street via the ol’ under the freeway 13th Street route and once we arrive, her boyfriend drops off her forgotten items. Time to rock.

We hit the road, and soon we’re over the Bay Bridge and headed east to Tahoe. The sun’s rays streaks through the girders on the outsides of the lower deck of the bridge, hitting the car like a strobe light as it’s rapidly obscured by the girders. I search Rachel’s pack for her sunglasses, finding a hip pair with wooden arms–nice.

We’re getting close to the Carquinez Bridge when we realize we need coffee. “Pull off here” I say, quickly getting us lost. My sense of direction is pretty awful sometimes. I pull up Google Maps, and navigate back to the freeway, driving through some farmland and past some sort of carbon plant–whatever the hell that is. We’re in the boonies.

“You’re not bringing me out here to kill me, are you?” asks Rachel, somewhat joking but not 100% certain. Five minutes later we’re rolling through the Starbucks drive-thru for some joe–two black coffees. Rachel offers me some of her croissant as we motor on east–it tastes delicious.

I cringe as we drive past Folsom, realizing that I’ve just missed the last Chic-Fil-A on the way to Tahoe. Fuck. Placerville is the next and only stop for decent chow. We try to stop at the In-N-Out besides Schlotzysky’s Deli–the one on Hi-Lo Drive–to find both sadly closed. Sad!

We settle for the Carl’s Jr. in the strip-mall across the freeway, where I grab a jalapeno thickburger. Rachel branches off to grab a veggie sub from the Subway across the parking lot. There’s this cool motorcycle with a sick sidecar parked in the lot. I emerge with a Carl’s Jr in hand and return to the car, but find no one there.

I walk up to the Subway, swinging to door wide open. My nose is blasted with an assault of the dreaded ‘Subway smell’ of yeast particles floating through that place like some sort of bread power particle accelerator. I quickly switch to mouth-breathing.

Without shame I sit down and start chowing down on my thickburger as I wait, but I only got two bites in before she approached with her sandwich in hand. “I don’t mind if you eat in the car” she says tactfully, so we jump back in the Nissan and hit the road, the foothills coming upon us as we clear through “Old Hangtown”.

All there is to see is pine trees on either side of the road as we drive up up up into the mountains. This is the all too familiar ride to South Lake Tahoe on US-50. Soon, the majestic beauty of the Sierra Nevada Mountains would be upon us. The air thins out as we climb up into the mountains, the speakers of the Nissan filling that empty space with the sounds of house music.

Some more banter and office politics talk, and next thing you know we’re driving through the mountain pass, a steep drop-off over the side to a forest of pine trees. Snowy mountain-tops span off into the distance. We round a curve on the pass to behold the beauty of Lake Tahoe in the background, and an airstrip down below near the foot of the lake, surrounded by a forest of pine trees.

“I’m gonna get my wings soon. Someday I’ll be landing on the airstrip” I remark, blue eyes wide as I dream big and talk bigger. No joke though, I will land there someday.

Whatup

We get to South Lake and park in the back lot of Harrah’s. I put on this amazing silver morphsuit my roommate Jonny lent me, and then start to gear up. We walk over to the gondola and wait 5-10 minutes to get on a gondola up the mountain. It’s me, Rachel, some raver chick, two other raver dudes, and some older guy wearing a Heavenly uniform that is an off-white shade–I’ve never seen this uniform before.

PSssscchhhh, the sound of a beer being opened echoes through the gondola a few seconds after we lift off out of the depot–raver dude has cracked a beer.

“Hey, come on. You can’t drink that on the Gondola.” says the old Heavenly dude. I notice his uniform again, it’s such a different color than the Helley Hansen jackets, and it looks barely worn. His name tag says Pete and he’s been ‘serving great experiences’ since 1984. He’s gotta be about 50, looking clean-cut with a cleft chin, helmet, and brand new white ski-boots.

“Ahhh..Come on man, it’s already cracked! “No.” the Heavenly guy responds. “Ah man…Hey, what do you do at Heavenly?” “I’m the Chief Operating Officer here at Heavenly” he says, nearly deadpan. “Oooohhh shiyyyyyeeeeetttt tighhhtt helllaa” say the raver kids, laughing at their dumbass friend.

I realize I was onto something with that peculiar jacket. The situation is somewhat awkward, but we get by, asking questions about Heavenly. Myths were shattered on that ride. We were sharing a six person gondola with who could be the true king of the mountain for all anyone could be concerned.

“Yo this is the last weekend because it’s a lease from the forest service right?” “No, we close in May because that’s just because people stop coming” responds The King. “Oh shit ok, but then that’s why Bo Real closes” “Bo Real…Oh Boreal? Nope, that’s not why they close.” “Oh man I thought that’s why” “No, people just stop coming…”

Well that settles that myth. We also find out after some probing that electricity is the biggest cost on the mountain–cool. We’re making our way up the face of the mountain now and the raver chick is totally enamored with the view. Raver dude seems to see his second chance.

“Ah so man, lemme drink this ya know, so it’s not looking like I’m coming off the gondola with a full beer you know.” “Dooonn’t Do it! chimes in one of his friends” “No.” responds The King “Come on man, it’s the _mountain_ man” says raver kid, bringing the can up to his lips “Don’t do it” he says, the seriousness echoing through the gondola. “Ah ok…”

The gondola comes up to the sky deck lookout point, and the King encourages the troublesome trio to check out the view if they’ve never seen it. Sly. They disembark, and I have a little freak-out as I can’t find my snowboard. Luckily I look behind our gondola and see it’s just in the one behind us–phew.

As the gondola pulls out of the sky deck stop and hurdles towards the top, we all breathe a collective sigh of relief to be rid of those three. “Some people don’t think. They just do. And unfortunately it’s usually those people that end up getting into trouble on the mountain” remarks the COO.

A few minutes later the gondola cruises into the station, and we disembark. I’ve really got to take a piss now. I walk into the bathroom, shuffling over to the urinal and opening the fly of my snow over-alls. I try to pull the dragon through the fly and then realize that I’m wearing a morphsuit. There is no fly. Fuck.

I can’t reach the zipper on the back of my morphsuit, hanging out in that awkward space between your shoulder blades. I ask a stranger to help unzip my morphsuit for me. I laugh at the oddity of this situation. I’m taking a piss now in the toilet as my newfound assistant is unloading a gnarly shit in the stall beside me–time to get out of here. Can’t even wash my hands with this suit on.

Okay, ready to rock. We descend the tall metal stairs from the gondola station, our boots making a sweet slushy crunch sound. I’m back on the snow. We go up Tamarack lift, ride down to Dipper. The snow is a little icy right now. I end up going through this shitty icy bowl near the lift. I realize I’ve entered the yard sale corridor, an area you often see skiers losing their skis as you ride up the lift.

I get some good air on some jumps in the woods, and I realize it might already be time to ditch the jacket and pants and just go full silver body suit. We go up dipper and I take the sleeves off my jacket. We do milky way bowl and it is just OK. Rachel has skis and is definitely faster than me. The only way I can remember to recognize her is by her orange socks. After a few runs on Dipper we go down Comet like 4 times.

Snow is soft, conditions are good. I’m doing lots of jumps, fuck yeah. We take a break to ditch some layers down at East Peak Lodge, and find the scene electric. There’s a snowcat mobile DJ booth set up, and they’re playing the hits of the 90’s. Tons of people hanging out in deck chairs in the snow, many people tanning… It’s gotta be like 65 degrees Fahrenheit. At this point, we both realize that we want a beer.

Naturally, there’s a big line at the bar. No beers on tap, three bros tending to the bar.

“What do you have on tap” asks a patron

“Mmm…” says the bartender, kind of looking quizzically at the taps, and then with a sweeping motion of his hand over the handleless taps and a coy smile he says “None!”

These lads were having a grand ol’ time. I get a Guinness while Rachel gets a dirty snowman, the bartender saying “Okay, but there’s no snow for me to go roll around in outside”. The next bartender confirms her order, asking “One inappropriate snowman?” What a bunch of jokers.

Finally, we’re back outside. The tunes are pumping, and there’s like fifty or so plastic deck chairs just hanging out in the snow, full of people drinking, tanning, and generally being merry. We grab two chairs and then cheers, taking that first sip of that sweet alcoholic nectar–ahhh. So good. I take a taste of her dirty snowman and realize that it’s fucking awesome, my new favorite hot drink.

So we sit there a while and have some banter, getting a pretty decent buzz off of just one drink–that altitude will get you. I peel off my morphsuit and just tan there bare-chested in the sun, laying back in the chair and using my goggles as sunglasses. I’m careful to keep the strap low on my head, so that I don’t get a weird tanline on my bald head. Rachel has a tank-top or something like that and considers going down to a sports bra but wusses out. I share stories about my former workplace and the moral dilemmas of working with 90% females. Whenever I went out to eat with them they never finished their meals, they would just push their half eaten plates towards me and expect me to finish them.

It’s like 13:45 now and I decide it’s time to shred the mountain full morphsuit. Now it’s just me in a full silver morphsuit, sparkling in the sun. People get a nice show of my butt as I struggle to get my feet back in my red riding boots. This old couple takes photos of me, and apparently a lot of people were doing the same. I was getting a lot of attention and I liked it.

Full silver surfer mode now, I stashed my jacket and pants behind the outdoor bar, looking pretty obvious. You tend to stick out when you reflect the sun. We go up Comet like five time, some nice runs down Comet, Orion, Aries Woods, and others. We meet some characters on the lift ride up. There’s two old Tahoe dudes who have a pipe, weed, but no lighter.

“Heyyy man, silver surfer!! Can you reflect the sun to light our bowl!?” says one, laughing in his old hippie way

They offer us some, but four of us were on a lift and none of us had a lighter. One of those moments that makes you questions just what the hell you think you’re doing with your life. I talk about motorcycles with them the whole ride up. Those guys were cool shit.

On the next lift up we meet this old salty dog, he’s got to be one of the most jaded people I’ve ever met on a lift. “Dating is more fun, I’ve already been married twice.” he says, looking off into the distance to ponder the Sierra Nevada Mountains. He goes on a tangent about having sex with the lights on or off. “You should have your own dating hotline man” I tell him, somewhat joking.

We shred some gnarly slush until about 15:00 and then decide to get one last epic run in and then call it. We ride over to the milky way bowl, and then decide to hike up to the top. I barely ride up it much before I have to unstrap and start hiking. I walk for ages, taking a few breaks. I look back to see an amazing view of Lake Tahoe, and a long row of footprints from what now seems like so far down below. We stop near the top where it gets all rocky.

I stick my board in the snow and start to pant a bit. Wow, I’m fucking exhausted. I hear a plane flying by loudly, and I look around trying to find it. And then I realize that it’s flying right by, but I’m looking up instead of down. We’re higher up than the plane is flying–how fucking cool is that. I sit down in the snow and just take it in, watching the plane cruise through the Heavenly Valley headed eastbound through Nevada.

True beauty up here. I get my phone, needing to lick my silver morphsuit fingers to let the haptic sensor register my finger–welcome to the future. I take a snap and see that I’m at 9,964 feet right now–wow. It’s breathtakingly beautiful up here. I realize that this is the most beautiful view of Lake Tahoe I have ever seen. You see the snow and that beautiful basin that is Lake Tahoe to the left, and then to the right it drops off all the way down to no snow and the flatlands of Nevada. It gives a true perspective of how Tahoe is just this weird big basin of water at high altitude. The Dipper lift runs off in the distance.

We’re sitting in the snow taking it all in, the beauty of Lake Tahoe, the snow, the Heavenly Valley. That idyllic beauty of it all. The sounds of the mountain–or lack thereof. Just a light breeze, warm sun, and sparkling blue lake. You can see the frost line visibly on the mountains right by the lake–it’s true beauty.

My silver bodysuit reflects the sun, and now that I’ve spent about three and a half minutes enjoying the beauty of nature, what else is there to do but have a photoshoot? You can take the boy out of the city, but you can’t take the city out of the boy. Rachel gets some action shots of me as I pose in front of the lake.

“Work it, work it” she says jokingly, although I’m taking it quite literally. Goggles on, goggles off, board and no board, just generally having some fun with the four accepted wardrobe changes in the paradigm of snowboarding photos. I end with a blue steel pose, and then really jump the shark and put the morphsuit hood over my head and do some creepy zombie crawling towards the camera.  At this point Rachel’s had just about enough of my shit and gives me back the camera.

She clips in, I strap in, and then we ride down the huge bowl–it’s steep and crunchy. I’m still in love with the fact that my silver body suit is still providing me enough warmth. We get back down to East Peak Lodge and everything is closed up–what a bummer. I was hoping to listen to more 90s music and drink a beer. I run down to the outdoor bar and lean all the way over the counter to grab my jacket, snow pants, and other stuff I stashed. It’s all there–phew. We’re desperately in need of a beer at this point.

We’re the very last people to get on the chairlift out of East Peak–we closed ‘er down. There’s a bunch of Japanese tourists asking us to take yet another iconic Heavenly photo. They do a few poses, and then we’re ready to get that final run in for the season. I’ve balled my snow pants up with my H&M Hawaiian t-shirt, carrying this big bundle of clothing in my left hand. I try to do some tricks, but realize that it’s really hard to do that when you’re off balance. I have a nice ride down to the gondola.

The music is pumping outside of Tamarack Lodge, and everyone’s trying to get a last beer in. Alright, let’s do this. We find a slanted metal picnic table in the sun, and leave our stuff on the table. It’s a bit of a madhouse here, so Rachel gives me her ID and credit card and holds down the table while I order. “What is this, the East Coast? I’ve only needed multiple IDs in New York” I say as I walk towards the lodge. “I’ll have an IPA” says Rachel as I walk inside.

“Space man!!!” “Silver Surfer!!” “Take me to outerspace!” “I love your suit!”

I’m known by many names at this point, but everyone inside is loving my outfit. They’re probably a little drunk to be fair. Three large lines snake out from the bar, everyone trying to get one last beer in. By the time I get to the front of the line, I realize that it’ll be slim pickings. All that’s left are some dark beers–a milk stout and a porter. I grab two of each, and I’m surprised to see that they want to see the other ID for the other two drinks–Rachel was right.

We enjoy the last drinks of the season out there infront of Tamarack Lodge. At some point an Australian comes up to the table and enthusiastically says “Oy! You’ve got a nice dick. She’s a lucky girl”. I nod my head and say “Thanks bud”. Not sure why everyone thinks we’re a couple, but I’ll take the dick compliment. I realize at this point that my tight silver suit probably gives a pretty good outline of my package, but I don’t really care.

Soon we’re once again the last people drinking. Everyone has left, but I resist the herd mentality and just relax and enjoy my beer. Eventually they shut the music off and we decide it’s a good time to bounce. In the meantime the gondola line has dwindled from a 30 minute wait to a zero minute wait, and I’ve got a nice altitude buzz again–that’s called doing it right. We’ve closed the lodge down–AGAIN. Infact, we closed the whole mountain.

I enjoy a nice scenic gondola ride down to lake level, and then we walk over to the back lot. Ahah, the shirtless hippie crew is hanging out by their shiny restored VW bus, drinking Sierra Nevada and playing guitar. A bohemian couple cuddles in the grass. It’s kind of weird to think that I was walking in the snow 10 minutes ago, and now it’s all lush green grass down here. One of them got me with a snowball earlier on the mountain–he had a great arc on it.

We pack the our gear into the car, and it feels nice to get out of the silver surfer suit. I could eat a horse at this point. Basecamp Pizza is like a whole five minutes walk away. “Would you judge me if we drove a minute to get that much closer to Basecamp Pizza” asks Rachel. I thought she would never ask. We drive down the block, finding an easy parking spot. It was pay to park, but the meter was broken–perfect.

The Heavenly village is fucking LIT. There’s a bunch of 18 year old couples walking around in Tahoe prom attire–interesting. We see the crew in the four gaper suits breaking it down on the outdoor dance floor of some bar Oh man, I just want to stay here and rage with the old people. ‘The craic is 90’ as an Irish person might say. Suddenly I worry that there might be a wait for food.

We wade through throngs of people, seeing a many lingering near the entrance of the restaurant. “I’m not completely married to eating at basecamp” says Rachel tactfully. Just then the White Sea seems to part as we walk up towards the entrance and it’s only a five minute wait for a table outside–fuck yeah.

Two beers in, both of us really need to pee. The quest for bathrooms begins, and we walk past some tables with absolutely delicious looking pizzas on them–man this is going to be great. After taking my first pee without a spandex suit on, I return to the hostess and our table is waiting for us–perfect. I order a ‘Java the Hut’ coffee drink, while Rachel gets the Deschutes Pine Drops IPA. Damn, I was thinking about getting that. I give it a sip and it’s pretty tasty, but I still think I prefer the Freshly Squeezed IPA. More hops, less pine drops. I guess that explains the name.

We split a small Greek salad and a medium veggie medley pizza. It’s fucking DANK. Rachel’s eating slows down, and I know what’s coming next. “Have some more pizza” she says, ever so slightly pushing the pizza towards me. “Aha, see! I told you, girls never finish” I retort. I had reinforced my story from earlier in the day.

We hit the road right after, getting back to San Francisco at 11:15 PM. I grab my stuff out of the Nissan and wave goodbye. I drop it all off in my room and them immediately head over to a housewarming on Sharon street. They had a bunch of cheese and crackers out–fuck yeah. No meat though.

I didn’t want to point it out, but you’re not supposed to eat fine cheese with crackers. It hides the taste and feel of the consistency of the cheese in your mouth. It’s better to use fruity or crusty bread.

It was a a pretty ‘epic day’.

Spring Skiing with the Silver Surfer was originally published on RUT-IS-UP