#and also he cloned himself at least twice so he's got a couple of sons running around

[evilkitten3]

i know almost nothing about naruto but i love that orochimaru is the most genderfucked out of any fictional character ive ever heard of. what an icon tbh

orochimaru has committed unthinkable atrocities but i simply do not care. in fact i think she should have done some more

[thewebcomicsreview]

Normally I open up the Homestuck 2 liveblog with a tongue-in-cheek comment about how reading HS2 is pain, but I just watched the debate and HS2 looks incredible by comparison, so let’s see if this good mood carries over. Looks like we’re on Candyland, too, Candy updates tend to be better (or at least bad in a funny way) than the oft-boring Meat updates, and personally, I think “The Omega Kids fuck around” is the best part of HS2 by yards.

Man, that lamp is almost perfectly positioned to draw a line through the image separating the two scenes (the dialogue for which is on two separate columns), but it’s just the tiniest bit off-center. I wonder if that was intentional and mobile-responsiveness is just a cruel mistress. It’s a cute touch, if so. I suppose the door (and the photos, which are the same height as the door) also serves the same purpose of having the two scenes be sectioned off. I don’t really know a lot about “scene composition” so maybe I should stay in my wheelhouse, but I think it’s divided very nicely

HARRY: and some of us aren't gods and shit. JOHN: i'm detecting a hint of judgement in your voice, there, harry anderson JOHN: don't you enjoy being a part of all this? finally getting to be in the thick of it all?

John, always dense, has not picked up on Harry Anderson’s demotion to Harry. He’s also inserting a lot of his own desires onto Harry, here, too. Vrissy is the one who wanted to be in the thick of it all (thematic idea to stick a pin into to see if it plays out: John should be mentoring Vrissy and Vriska should be mentoring Harry. Some evidence that HS2 is building this idea, but not a lot yet)

HARRY: now YOU look like you're hiding some extra commentary. JOHN: oh, i don't need to burden you with all the bureaucratic stuff, it's boring.

You gotta subscribe to John’s $20/mo Patreon tier for that, Harry.

JOHN: because here i am, sitting in the dugout, same as you. HARRY: in the dugout? JOHN: oh, or, uh... JOHN: what's a metaphor you might like better... HARRY: no, JOHN: i'm like the uhh...understudy. HARRY: dad. no, jesus, you don't have to do this. JOHN: or i got cast in as babysitter number 2 when i had auditioned for, i dunno, HARRY: yeah, please, i got the baseball metaphor. HARRY: i'm not a complete fucking nerd.

John doesn’t really “get” theater kids, I get. It makes me think a little of how John’s dad thought John was massively into clowns. Also, this is a cute.

JOHN: it's been really nice to get to spend so much time with you. HARRY: um. yeah, it's not so bad. HARRY: anyway, before you ruffle my hair or anything, it looks like things are getting a bit heated between the vriskas over there. HARRY: maybe we should offer them a snack to bring the mood back down? JOHN: me, mess up your hair when you’ve worked so hard on that look? i do know you at least that well, harry anderson HARRY: thank god.

This is also cute. Harry maybe the only person in the entire cast of Homestuck or Homestuck 2 to have a semi-normal relationship with his parents.

Speaking of semi-symmetry, the line where Harry says how happy he is to stay home almost lines up perfectly with Vriska being furious that she has to stay home. I wonder again if that’s a coincidence of if someone had a really clever idea that didn’t make it fully intact through editing (or was considered not worth the effort). 

VRISKA: How are you so calm right now? Your lusii were training you, right? And you’re a troll, you’re definitely five times stronger than a human! And if you’re my clone, you are way more 8adass than little miss Fussy Fangs.

Vriska is making several false assumptions here, but the most interesting one is that Vrissy is Vriska’s clone. She’s not. She’s descended from Vriska, and takes after Vriska very strongly, but it’s not a one-to-one thing.

VRISSY: 8ut I guess this Situation is Kind of Serious? VRISSY: There’s a whole Plan and Stuff Like that. VRISKA: Clearly not a good plan, 8ecause then I would 8e part of it!

Vriska.jpg

VRISKA: That’s just even more indication that they don’t know what they’re doing! Lalonde and Maryam have had however many sweeps to get older and stupider, 8ut from where I’m standing, it was literally only a few days ago that I was their commander! I am primed for the 8attlefield!

Okay, this line is across from John saying he’s in the dugout. There is absolutely an intentional, if not one-to-one strict, mirroring of these two conversations that’s actually really neat. I should go back to the other times HS2 has had conversations formatted like this to see if this mirroring has been happening all along. It’s a really good use of the format! I like this a lot! 

JOHN: so anyway, as you can see, this would have worked just fine! HARRY: no i think karkat’s right. this looks like shit, dad. JOHN: you know, me letting your earlier use of the word "fuck" slide wasn't a blanket approval for all cursing in front of me. HARRY: sorry. HARRY: try not to make such a shit plan, and i won't call it that. JOHN: haha wow.

The other thing I like is the John/Harry dynamic. 

HARRY: it's not like i think i'm any better! HARRY: i mean, i still can't believe i told vrissy and them to bring a dead celebrity to school. HARRY: what was i THINKING. JOHN: you were thinking it sounded hilarious! JOHN: but yeah, in hindsight, maybe not the best call. JOHN: maybe it’s genetic? HARRY: yeah. HARRY: i kinda can’t believe we’re all still alive, actually. HARRY: and how did YOU make it this far, being so bad at this? JOHN: i had my friends with me, i guess.

John your friends repeatedly tried to kill you and succeeded at least twice. 

He’d spent so long seeing mostly the best parts of Roxy in Harry Anderson. He forgot, he guesses, to look for himself in there, too. And if what they have in common right now is a lack of strategic foresight, hey, he’ll take it.

I’m slowly developing a theory that John is subconsciously the narrator of Candy, given how everything suddenly started going John’s way after Calliope left (and how the narrator seemed to really hate Gamzee last chapter). Remember, John has spoken in narration before in HS1, but never seemed to realize he was doing it. I probably need to essay this theory out at some point, but not now.

Oh, hey! Jane does have goons! And they’ve slightly change the way they draw Rose’s hair, so her head isn’t a perfect circle with lines on it. This looks much better. 

JANE: I haven't given a political speech in years, Ms. Lalonde. I don't know what you're referring to. I'm just a simple business woman. JADE: right with her own talk show JADE: and multi billion dollar merchant company and lobbying groups! JANE: That's what a business woman is, Jade, dear.

I know that this is supposed to be Capitalism Bad, but “You claim to be a businesswoman when you own a merchant company!”. Jade. Come on. This reads less as Jane going “Of course I’m evil, I’m a CEO” and more that Jade literally doesn’t know what a business woman is. 

JANE: You are on my territory, in the presence of my secret police, laying your hand on my investment.

Jane you don’t own “territory” do you not know what a businesswoman is either?

JANE: Your ship is in contested airspace. You will land, whereby it will be confiscated by the Royal Human Guard. After that you will be taken into custody. 

CONTESTED BY WHOM, JANE? WHO THE FUCK IS THE WAR BETWEEN?!

JADE: shut the fuck up for a minute and look up!

There’s a BIG-ASS spaceship like ten feet in front of you! Did you not notice until Jade pointed it out?

Also why does the Rebellion ship have the Crockercorp prongs on it?

JANE: Or have you forgotten who has been paying for her schooling and taking charge of her introduction into society? JADE: i never asked you to do that! JADE: you offered! JADE: so stop calling me ungrateful for not sucking your dick over things i never asked for!

Sorry again, Jade, are you implying that you wouldn’t have given your daughter an education had Jane not offered? “Rose and Jade entrusted their daughter to Jane, who they were at war with” is an enigma of a plot point.

The world is watching her be dressed down by a couple blood traitor rebels, one of which has very prominent dog ears. Jane wonders if either of them are even recognizable to the assembled as two of the old gods. One of her PR managers had recommended that she keep her look as static as possible, so that people can always recognize her as Jane Crocker, Captain of Industry, Creator of Earth C, Maintainer of Peace and Plenty.

Jade has always had dog ears what the fuck? I guess this is supposed to be Jane’s warped thinking.

So, anyway, Kanaya fake-holds Tavvy hostage, Jane buys the threat as real and they build up like Jane is going to sacrifice her own son for PR points but she ultimately stands down and lets everyone go. It’s left intentionally vague whether or not she was always going to do this, or if she didn’t want to do it in front of Jake, or if the presence of Jake stirred something in her that made her change her mind. I like the ambiguity. 

This was a very “Homestuck 2″ update. The plot of kind of nonsense, but it’s carried by the character interactions and a bit of cleverness.

[otpnessmess]

Of Casual Encounters And Late Nights Pt.2

Here it is! I don't know if it's as long as you wanted but it's almost double the first chapter. I hope you like it!

First Next Ao3

-

A week went by where Jason managed to avoid meeting Ladybug again while investigating, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t heard of her. Akuma attacks were as frequent as ever and gave him an opportunity to learn more about the terrors that had been plaguing Paris for years now apparently. He sent all new info on it to his family,  who couldn’t believe none of it had reached them up until that point. Bruce was feeling particularly flabbergasted among them.

“You mean to tell me there’s been a terrorist in Paris for years, one that’s been destroying the city twice a week, and we knew absolutely nothing about it?” He seemed to be going through the seven stages of grief before excusing himself to call Diana.

Meanwhile, Jason’s brothers piled up in front of the computer screen wanting to hear more about the heroes and their work. Tim was looking up information on the internet while Dick asked questions nonstop about their powers, and their suits, and if he had had the chance to talk to them yet. 

“They sometimes stay back after the attacks, but their powers have some kind of time limit so those are rare occasions, or so I’ve heard. They’re all proficient fighters and each have their own set of powers and weapon. Ladybug’s powers are the most impressive by far” 

The mention of her name threw him right back into the memory of the night they first met. Despite resenting not being given an opening to talk to her more then, Jason had to admit leaving had been the right choice. He wanted to stay in the shadows as long as possible, and dealing with the police on his second night in the city wouldn’t have made that easy for him. Adding to that, even though he was quite stubborn and didn’t want to accept it, he felt curious about the spotted heroine. She was sassy and clever and, if the two battles she had this week were anything to go by, her abilities to strategize rivaled Tim’s.

He came back to the present with a jolt when Dick whined about him not paying attention, eliciting a snort from both him and Damian, who also looked at the eldest with a sneer. “You’re 29 Grayson, no one that age should be making those types of noises.” Jason would rather die than saying it out loud, but sometimes he did miss the dumbasses that were his brothers. 

“You know, I don’t think we would have believed this was real even if someone had told us about it. I found a... Ladyblog? It has videos of almost every attack from the last 4 years as far as I can see, and these look every bit as outlandish as I expected them to. There’s this one where apparently the whole city was flooded.” Tim pulled up the video in the peripheral monitors for the others to see and, lo and behold, there was the video from the day Ondine had drowned Paris. Faint screams could be heard in the background as the person recording managed to get to the roof of a building just in time to see the people still left on the street be swiped by the giant wave. From then on it was all silent. “This is horrible, so many people must have died during this. How did they manage to recover? I’m sure the news of Paris underwater should’ve popped up SOMEWHERE.”

“They didn’t because it didn’t last more than an afternoon.” Jason ran a hand through his hair impatiently. The whole week he had been aching to go out as Red Hood but couldn’t risk meeting Ladybug and it was making him jittery. “That’s what Ladybug’s power is. She just….reverts everything. I haven’t been able to find out how yet, but I’ve been told it must be magic or some shit.”

“Reverts everything? Just like that? Like….turning back time?” Dick looked confused trying to come up with a rational explanation

“I don’t think so. Everyone except the victims remember everything that happened. It’s more of a cure, if you will. She fixes everything, makes a new Eiffel Tower appear, brings the dead back to life, you know, no big deal.” Jason couldn’t help but chuckle at their faces. “I know, if anyone tried to tell me this before I saw it myself I wouldn’t have believed it either.”

A moment of silence on his brothers’ end was interrupted by the return of Bruce. “Diana is positively furious right now. Apparently someone received a message from these heroes years ago and thought it was a joke, so they dismissed it. Diana asked to see the message and just unleashed hell on the poor guy after watching it. It seems her mother was a former Ladybug and she grew up knowing about the magic of the ‘Miraculous’” He said the word in a way that made his sons think he was as confused as they were “The League is planning to make a trip to Paris as soon as possible to assess the situation.”

Now that brought a frown to Jason’s face. “I know I’m usually the reckless one here, but listen to me for a moment. You’re just planning on barging in here, with an angry Wonder Woman, and a probably scared shitless League, to battle a guy who makes you his minion if you show the tiniest hint of a negative emotion? Imagine if Diana got akumatized. You must really want the apocalypse to start huh?” 

He scanned their faces and wasn’t surprised to see skepticism and some smirks too. This was so not typical of him. Jason was a shoot first, ask second kinda guy, and he used to enjoy killing a little too much for it to be healthy. But he remembered what Ladybug had told him about resorting to the least amount of violence possible, and he was honestly worried about what could happen if three dozen superheroes just showed up one day to a fight. “Listen, as far as I can see, Ladybug and her team have things covered here. Give me some time to gather more information and maybe I can find a way for her and Red Hood to have a meeting. I’ll ask her if she still wants our help. But until then, you should refrain from bringing anyone here. Unless you want panic to run rampant among the citizens because the whole Justice League came.”

Snickers could be heard coming from Tim and Dick. Even Damian was trying not to show his amusement at the situation. “Who would’ve thought Todd actually had a brain. We should go if only to check whether he’s been replaced by a clone or something”

“Oh fuck off Demon Spawn, I can be smart too if I want to."

Their father seemed to be mulling over his words before sighing and nodding. “Alright. I think we can go along with what you said for now, but I want you to keep us updated regularly, and to inform us if something out of the ordinary happens. If you need us there, we’ll be on alert. And I expect that meeting with Ladybug to happen sooner rather than later. Also don’t forget why you’re originally there, we have to gather more information on what the Penguin is planning."

“You got it Brucie.” He made fingers guns at the screen with a click of his tongue. “Expect it to be at least a week until I have some big news for you, but I’ll try to make it happen as quickly as possible. And worry not about my mission, I’m almost done with it. Now my dear family, if you’ll excuse me, it’s already 2am and I would like to pretend to be a tourist at least for a day tomorrow. I’ll let you know if something comes up.”

He quickly ended the call and face planted on his bed. This was going to be a long mission. One week in and he was already exhausted. He wasn’t lying when he said he was close to finishing the mission he was originally sent to Paris for, though.  He had infiltrated the goons quickly and efficiently, and managed to hear about a drug shipment due to arrive in a couple weeks together with a human one. As soon as he got the information as to where he’d call his family and they could resolve the problem easily. For now though, he couldn’t help but want to keep them away a bit longer. Be it because, even though he loved his brothers (not that he’d ever tell them), he wanted some time alone, or be it because he wanted more time to try and figure out Ladybug, he still wasn’t completely sure.

If you asked him, he would deny it to his dying breath that he was interested in the heroine, but something about her made him want to get closer and know more about her. In spite of the great amount of knowledge the public had on her, she was surrounded by an aura of mystery and something else that Jason couldn’t pinpoint, which had him turning in his sleep ever since that encounter in the alley. It also didn’t help that she seemed to be around the same age as him, her suit doing her great favours in all her red and black. Alright. Maybe he thought she was a bit attractive. Very attractive? 

“No. Nope. Not going there.” He got up and decided to ignore that part of his brain as of now. For no particular reason whatsoever. It was only normal to want to know more about the person protecting the city. Call it a professional interest, thank you very much.

The dark haired man decided to take advantage of having an expensive suite for once and took a long bath while doing some more research on Paris. He was indeed planning to walk around the city the next day after all. When he was done, Jason headed to the bed and fell asleep promptly. Dreams full of back alleys and superheroes. 

-

As luck would have it, it didn’t take long for the both of them to meet yet again. Only maybe not in the way the Gotham vigilante would have hoped for. Set on at least enjoying this pseudo-vacation he was gifted, Jason left his hotel the next morning to visit the most popular places in the city. The Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, the Arc of Triumph and the Champs Élysées were the places he had chosen to visit during the morning and early afternoon, but, even though his main goal was to distract himself from the tasks at hand, he couldn’t will away the questions roaming around his head. 

How was he going to contact Ladybug? He wanted to do it as Red Hood, but he didn’t want the heroine of Paris to distrust him since he was pretty sure his reputation would precede him. He was known for being the most ruthless of the batfam, the only thing keeping him from killing criminals once he was done with them was Batman’s No killing under any kind of circumstances rule (which if you asked him was a special kind of bullshit, some of them did deserve to rot in hell in his opinion), and he wasn’t sure if Ladybug would be as willing to hear him out as she may one of his brothers or father. However, his only other option would be to approach her as Jason Todd, one of Bruce Wayne’s adopted sons. He didn’t even know whether Ladybug would care about his family name. This wasn’t his city. And on the off chance that she might have recognized him… He was still a mere civilian. One that had, on top of that, to explain his connection to the Gotham vigilantes without giving away any of their identities. Jason knew his hands were tied. Red Hood had to be the one to try and get the attention of the spotted hero. Knowing there was no other option didn't make him happy about it though. 

Once he was done with this line of thinking his brain decided to go back to the Penguin. He was trying to instill one of the worst types of businesses in Paris and he couldn’t wait to put a stop to it. As much as he knew drug trafficking to be terrible, he was of the opinion that people who engaged in (as well as profited off of) human trafficking should have a special circle of hell destined for them. Preferably in the very depths of it.

Jason was very much aware that, for as long as he remained in this city, negative emotions had to be controlled and dissipated as quickly as possible to avoid an akumatization. Especially those of someone with the skills and knowledge he had. He had a lot of the latter in strange topics, most of which he acquired growing up during his training. And albeit he wasn’t sure whether it would actually be useful to Hawkmoth or not, he would rather not put it to the test. All of this, however, was sent to the back burner for a second as Jason's thoughts strayed towards what he would like to do to the Gotham villain when he captured him. 

Being so busy imagining the 30 different methods of torture he would like to inflict upon the Penguin had made him completely disregarded his surroundings, however. Coming back to his senses, his brain pointed out they were standing at the door of what seemed like a very nice patisserie, just in time for his stomach to growl, his lunch seemingly having been digested some time ago.

‘Maybe something sweet is exactly what I need right now’

-

Some days had passed since Marinette met Jason,  and though he was still burning in the back of her mind, she had way too many things to worry about during the day to remember him often. At night, however, the questions she had originally asked herself the first night continued to plague her, and since Tikki told her not to worry about it too much, the designer saw wise to keep her train of thought to herself. She wasn’t even sure why her brain seemed so fixed on this stranger she had only met once. Sure, he was involved in a fight, and seemed to be a foreigner, but it wasn’t that uncommon for petty altercations to break out around the city while she patrolled. Also this was Paris, for Kwamis’ sake. One of the biggest tourist capitals of the world. There was no reason why this Jason guy should’ve stuck to her mind as he did. Yet here she was. In the middle of her afternoon shift at the bakery. Still thinking about him.

A chime coming from the door brought her out of her stupor. But as she looked up, ready to greet the new customer, she suddenly froze, and her brain could only supply her with the word green. 

Green eyes she had only got a quick glance into a week ago were now in front of her and the color was even more intense as they reflected the sunlight rays that entered through the bakery’s windows.

-

There you have it peeps and pals! I'll try to update sometime again this week in between Daminette December.

Tag list:

@18-fandoms-unite-08 @bamagirl513 @j-a-n-e--d-o-e @dawnwave16

[theshinobiway]

Hey there! Ive always wondered how the members of team Gai would react to being tickled? Who's the most ticklish and who would be most likely to tickle back? I love your blog and writings so much, keep it up!

Anon, I was cracking up at this request and trying so hard to make it through when I was writing it. There were a lot of times where I had to pause, take a laugh break, then try to get back to it. I got a little ridiculous with it, but I figured this is what you were looking for anyway.

Also, thank you so much for the kind words! It really means a lot!! Thanks as always for contributing to the blog!

Headcanons: Tickling / Being Tickled by Team Gai

Might Gai

Tickling

Ø  Uh, what? You want to tickle who?

Ø  Son, this man has ten inches of steel. No, not there—well, of course there but that’s not what we’re talking about—I meant he has ten inches of steel in the form of muscle that covers his entire body. You think this man can feel a tickle?

Ø  He’ll play along, though. If he notices you trying to tickle him, he’ll act like he is. Poorly. He doesn’t want to discourage you from trying because he thinks it’s adorable—S/o or not.

Ø  You’ve tried everything, from getting the jump on him to using a variety of tools. Nothing. Gai just looks at you with confusion.

Ø  You try with backup one day (probably in the form of his team plus Naruto) who are too morbidly curious to pass up on the chance to figure it out for themselves. Neji and Tenten justify it by saying it might be to their advantage to learn one of their Sensei’s weaknesses.

Ø  You manage to capture him and try every method you possibly can. Naruto makes clones and tries every spot he can. Lee flails around. Neji attempts a modified version of 8 Trigrams. Tenten uses any object she can think of. All end in abject failure, no matter what you do. (Why does this play out like a Rock Lee Spinoff Skit? Hire me already, VIZ.)

Ø  Hold on, you try his feet. He’s wincing, he’s squirming, this might be it! He’s opening his mouth and he…!

Ø  Sneezes. Are you kidding me.

Ø  However, the minute Gai gets drunk, he’s ticklish everywhere. It scares the crap out of you because it’s so unexpected.

Ø  His laughter wakes the dead. It’s not even subtle, he’s screaming. Scream-laughing. The village hates you now. Stop tickling him before Tobirama Senju rouses from Konoha graveyard himself and kicks your ass for disturbing his death.

Ø  Drunk Gai is ticklish everywhere. You could poke him and he’ll collapse, wheezing.

Ø  NO ONE IS EVEN TOUCHING GAI AND HE’S LAUGHING.

Ø  “The Wind! It’s tickles!! It will be my undoing!”

Ø  “Fuck’s sake, Gai.” – Kakashi Hatake

Being Tickled

Ø  You can tell he find the idea of tickling entertaining. The only way you get tickled by Gai as a non-s/o is if it’s part of a joke routine.

Ø  He’ll do it in public too, so you might have to physically fight him for embarrassing you.

Ø  He’ll probably launch a surprise attack during a training routine, or if you’re too sluggish during a training session he’ll attack you to liven you up. Gai’s methods are always unorthodox anyway, there’s nothing abnormal here.

Ø  Try to launch a counter-attack and realize that God is dead. Since Gai isn’t ticklish, he’ll stare at you in confusion before lightening up. “Oh! It seems your energy has returned once more! Now, time to unlock the full potential!”

Ø  Uh. What.

Ø  OH HELL NOW HE’S GOING AT IT. RIP you sad soul, your first mistake was laughing. Now he thinks it’s a valid way to wind you up for exercise.

Ø  A relationship with Gai involved regular tickle fights. It actually becomes a regular occurrence. Gai’s relationship is lighthearted. He’s the kind of s/o that you’re best friends with (move over Kakashi) and that doesn’t get upset pretty much ever.

Ø  Gai memorizes where you’re ticklish and sometimes will tickle you as a greeting to get the jump on you. He thinks it’s hilarious no matter how much you (playfully) throw fists at him to complain. Now he can’t even resist.

Ø  He always stops when he realizes you need a break. He’s pretty good at noticing when a sweet, funny moment can easily turn into not-so-fun. He doesn’t let the mood get ruined.

Ø  His tickling also comes with incessant teasing. Oh, and cheek kisses. Lots of cheek and face kisses all over while he goes for your weak spots.

Rock Lee

Tickling

Ø  Lee is ticklish everywhere. The repetitive motion of tickling is what does it for him, he has a weakness for it. But gosh, is it so hard to tickle him.

Ø  He squirms around like no other. Limbs fly in every direction. His face turns red with laughter and he can’t hold still. You almost feel bad because he gives you puppy-eyes when you try.

Ø  Those puppy-eyes guilt you into stopping every time.

Ø  He pretty much can only manage to say “Nononono” and maybe your name if it’s not too long.

Ø  Lee can take a lot of punishment tickling. He doesn’t have any hard feelings about it either, he’s mostly just bewildered by what just happened.

Ø  He might suggest regular tickling as part of a training routine to up his endurance. Okay, cool, so you try multiple times. Does it actually increase his endurance? No, but you get more of cute, giggling Lee, so it’s worth it. (HIRE ME VIZ.)

Ø  Getting tickled by his s/o is something that warms Lee’s heart. It reminds him just how much he can be himself around you and how easygoing your relationship is. He doesn’t mind any jumps on him (unless it causes an accident, then he’s just concerned for your safety first.) and welcomes the notion that your relationship can be full of little everyday surprises—big or small.

Ø  Once or twice, he holds his breath and kisses you to make you stop. God Lee is just so sweet. Of course you stop, but now Lee’s giggling because he’s kissing you. It’s a win-win.

Ø  Occasionally he’ll pout if you launch a full-on tickle attack while he was doing something, but he’s just joking. Give him more kisses and you’ll see that right away.

Being Tickled

Ø  Lee will probably only try to tickle his s/o, unless someone convinces him—FOR SOME REASON—that so-and-so needs to be tickled as part of a…whatever, training, mission, bar mitzvah, funeral, look. Lee is not a hard boy to convince.

Ø  At first he… doesn’t really know how to tickle? You’re laughing because he looks so ridiculous doing it. He literally just wiggles his fingers a bunch and hopes it does something. He’s so easily tickled he doesn’t understand just how it works.

Ø  Wh—WHO TAUGHT LEE TO TICKLE!? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

Ø  When Lee learns how to tickle, he’s the master. Once he tried it on Neji. Both of them agreed that doesn’t count as an official victory in Lee’s favor. Only because it wasn’t really a ‘match.’

Ø  He is the Beautiful Blue tickle monster Beast of Konoha. None can withstand his fury.

Ø  It’s canon that he has tickled at least one of his opponents to victory.

Ø  As an s/o, tickling can be a regular occurrence with Lee. He loves getting the jump on you and hearing your laugh. He will literally do anything to make you laugh.

Ø  If you hate tickling, he’ll honestly be kinda miffed about it because he thinks it’s a cute couple thing to do. He’ll let you do it to him still, though.

Ø  Lee nuzzles you before, after, and sometimes during a tickle attack. He’ll giggle along with you because he thinks that your laughter is infectious. If you’re seriously trying to pry his arms away, he’ll let you.

Ø  Once or twice he’ll blow raspberries on you if you both are really in a goofy mood. It makes his heart flutter when you can’t hold back your laughter.

Ø  It doesn’t matter if you’re newly dating, long-term, or married: Little moments like this don’t die off with Lee.

Ø  Lee will pass the habit of tickling to your children (if you have any.) He’ll even teach them to attack you, thinking it’s adorable when you get caught off guard. Of course, the only valid response is to team up with your kid(s) to get back at Lee.

Ø  God you all have such a fluffy dynamic. It’s the envy of Konoha.

Tenten

Tickling

Ø  Do you want to die? This is how you die.

Ø  Needless to say, trying to tickle someone with an entire army of weapons saddled on their hip at all times isn’t for the faint of heart.

Ø  Tenten isn’t as ticklish as her teammates. But she is very ticklish on her lower stomach and her feet.

Ø  There are three ways this can go: You’re her s/o and don’t go too hard at it the first time you attempt, you’re her s/o and launch a full scale tickle attack, or you’re not her s/o and you simply try at all, (maybe with help)

Ø  You can tease her about being ticklish, but she’ll pout about it. It’ll be really cute when she does.

Ø  If you’re her s/o and blow raspberries on her stomach, she’ll giggle. Then you die.

Ø  She doesn’t even like your breath anywhere near her stomach. It’s that bad. Even during more intimate moments, she prefers if you just skip her stomach entirely.

Ø  Catching Tenten in a serious tickle attack is asking for it. Even if you can pull it off, she’ll have broken up with you at least three times during the attack. Give her lots of love after until she comes around.

Ø  Now, Tenten appreciates a good prank. More than the other members of the Konoha 12. She doesn’t always like being pranked, but that’s the name of the game. Prank wars are a regular occurrence with her in a relationship. If this falls in with that, she’s more forgiving.

Ø  She has the cutest giggle. Part of her is trying to be furious with you, but she actually enjoys being tickled a little. She thinks it’s a really cute way to be playful with your s/o.

Ø  If you’re not her s/o and you tickle her: You’re getting beaten, strung up, and left to hang in one of Konoha’s many training grounds. You had better hope someone finds you, because she isn’t coming back for you. Same goes for anyone that tried to help you in the attack.

Ø  Three days later, you (and your accomplices) have acknowledged that the weapons mistress of Konoha should probably be the next Hokage.

Being Tickled

Ø  Tenten does not forget the time you got the jump on her and has plotted her revenge accordingly.

Ø  She gets creative. Really creative. She stalks you for a few days, mapping out your patterns, taking note of all of your habits. She has your entire day down pat before launching a counterattack.

Ø  You sit down for lunch one day, then the next moment you wake up in an unknown location.

Ø  “Did you drug me?” “DID YOU TICKLE ME?!”

Ø  We will not speak of the horrors that occur over the next twelve hours.

Ø  You never tickle anyone ever again after that incident. And every time you so much as see a feather or someone makes a tickling motion with their hands, you may or may not have flashbacks.

Ø  With her s/o? What are you talking about? This is the privilege of being her S/O. Non-romantic parties get left in the woods.

Ø  If it was part of a prank, then given Tenten’s extremely playful nature, tickling can be a regular-not-as extreme occurrence.

Ø  You can get away with cute moments of tickling her now and then if you don’t go for those spots. Her sides aren’t nearly as ticklish, but they’re enough to make her giggle. You’ll get loads of cute moments laying in bed, joking with each other, and the occasional tickle to punctuate a joke aimed at one another. Those are the best moments.

Neji Hyuga

Tickling

Ø  DO YOU WANT TO DIE? BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU WANT TO DIE

Ø  Okay first off, hats off to you if you can catch the man with 360 degree vision unawares enough to launch a tickle attack. Because that’s the only way you’re going to get close enough.

Ø  Neji is calm, often stoic, and proper. That being said, his self-control is through the roof. If he catches you, even for a split second, he can “turn off” his tickle response. The only way to successfully do it is to make contact and initiate your attack without him realizing what is happening until it’s too late.

Ø  Neji’s sides are extremely ticklish if you catch him. He practically drops to the floor on contact. You’ll never hear him laugh so hard, it’ll be a sight to see. If you’re relentless, he’ll have tears in his eyes and he’ll try to shove you off, but he won’t have the strength to do it. He’ll squirm around a lot, though.

Ø  His laugh is so cute? Neji never bursts out laughing hard, ever. His face is so flushed and, despite the fact it’s an automatic response, the smile won’t come off his face, even for a few moments after the tickle attack. He’ll be gasping for air and begging for you to stop, but he can’t really take in air to get the full words out.

Ø  He’s also ticklish behind the knees, but there’s a high chance he’ll knee you in the face—probably intentionally—if you try.

Ø  If you’re his s/o he’ll be super peeved and you’ll get the silent treatment for many days after, but you have a higher likelihood of forgiveness. If you’re not, your existence will conclude in less than 24 hours.

Ø  If you’re his s/o he will never admit in a million years he found your ‘attack’ so stinking cute, even if it annoyed the living hell out of him. He has a certain weakness for the little cute things couples can do, but man does it destroy his image.

Ø  If you’re not his s/o, your day ends either in the hospital or the morgue. If you had accomplices, such as Naruto or Lee (or both) and tried to sneak up on him, he has no problem sending three bodies to the same place. Which one? Depends on how merciful he feels that day.

Being Tickled

Ø  It’s hard to imagine Neji as the kind to tickle someone, and for good reason: he might do it once in his entire life.

Ø  The only way he’s going to do it is if you’re his s/o and you’ve launched a surprise attack before. He’ll have been giving you the silent treatment for a few days, still visibly annoyed you tried something so ridiculous and humiliating on him, but then he gets an idea: revenge, and a taste of your own medicine.

Ø  He’s calculating about it too. You’ll have just gotten home and you’ll say hello, fully expecting that he’ll give you a courteous nod and nothing more (like he has been for the last few days.) But he’ll actually say hello and hold his arm out, gesturing you to cuddle on the couch while he’s reading. Of course, after a few days of silence, the invitation is all so tempting.

Ø  You poor soul.

Ø  The minute you sit down with him, you know something’s off. You don’t get a chance to react. Now you’re in his lap and in a death grip, and Neji whispers something along the lines of “You’ve made a poor decision, haven’t you?”

Ø  Neji attacks every single ticklish spot you have in a flash. His hands move so fast it’s almost simultaneous. No matter how hard you wriggle, you can’t get away. He avoids every single thrash. The tickling only ends on his terms.

Ø  It occurs to you between gasps of air and laughter that he wasn’t giving you the silent treatment: He was plotting revenge. Oh shit

Ø  He doesn’t stop until you’re about to pass out from oxygen deprivation from laughing so hard. Mercy isn’t a word to him. There are no safe words. You chose your fate.

Ø  Bruh, why did you launch a physical attack on someone who can shut off all 361 tenketsu in a split second?

Ø  Once the debt is paid, the situation falls into the past. You have two options: turn this into an all-out war (…why would you?!) or resolve to let this be a lesson to you.

Ø  In the future if you get any more mischievous ideas involving him and he can tell, Neji will definitely brush his hand over your ticklish spot and give you the look as a warning. The cold shiver that runs down your back when he does helps you reconsider.

Ø  You’ve reconsidered. You’re not doing it.

[posthumanwanderings]

while I was on the train to Nakano Broadway to collect more Heisei era Godzilla toys, I thought I’d make a personal list of the best to worst Godzilla films (up until Godzilla 2000 cause that’s around the time I stopped caring, I’ll try again tho) since the new Godzilla film is around the corner and maybe some of you are interested in giving the Big G’s archive a shot (you can delete this caption too if you just like the pic! and yes Morrigan counts as a kaiju, a beautiful one at that)

1. Terror of Mechagodzilla - last of the Showa era, ending with one of Godzilla’s most deadly foes. and I love how fucking big Titanosaurus is, god damn. the cyborg girl was cool too, loved her arc and how she controls both monsters.

2. Godzilla Vs. Mothra (90′s) - Mothra’s Heisei debut, and looking more dazzling than ever and also alongside her evil twin Battra. the fight in Yokohama (after its real life modern expansion when Japan’s economy was at its best) was a nice fresh setting for the climax. this one perfectly balances campyness and just a good kaiju film altogether. 3. Ghidorah: The Three Headed Monster - Ghidorah, besides Mothra and Mechagodzilla is probably the next most recognizable kaiju even to nonfans. One of the best moments in Godzilla history is when Mothra desparately tries to convince Godzilla and Rodan to team up against an even bigger menace, then they can get back to their typical kaiju businesses. 4. Godzilla Vs. Destroyah - like how T.O.M. ended the Showa era with a bang, this is the one that ended the 85-95 era with a monster that really beats the shit out of zilla who is already on the cusp of exploding like a nuclear reactor... it ties together the very first Godzilla movie too for plus points. for those looking for a more serious, borderline horror movie kaiju experience.  5. Godzilla Vs. Mothra (60′s) - yup two Mothra movies in the top 5. Mothra fights with Godzilla are always so tense, since Mothra being a giant graceful butterfly appears so delicate against big boi Godzilla, plus her kids are under his threat as well. and on top of that Godzilla moves and fights like a drunkard the whole time. 6. Godzilla Vs. Mechagodzilla (70′s) - Godzilla faces his robot clone for the first time who has one of the largest movesets of any other kaiju, a true force to be reckoned with. instead of Mothra being summoned by an ancient race, we have King Caesar, a stone guardian puppy dog lion to team up with zilla against the bigger baddie. fun fact: this was filmed right after Japan gained back Okinawa from America since WWII, and makes once again another fresh setting.

7. Godzilla 1985 - I’ll be honest, the lone Godzilla movies with no other kaiju weren’t the top of my interest especially being an ADHD kid, but from a film perspective this is shot really well, the miniature city set had a nice upgrade since T.O.M. from a decade before, and I love the laser beam special effects from the upgraded Japanese Defense Force in this.

8. Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah (90′s) - Not to be confused with the other 5ish Ghidorah encounters, this was the Heisei debut of the 3 headed monster mixed into a time travel plot since movies like Terminator were all the rage in the early 90′s. The tie in plot about WWII had more to be desired and felt very nationalist, but as a kaiju film the special effects were top notch especially with Mecha Ghidorah.

9. Destroy All Monsters - the ULTIMATE Showa era kaiju crossover fest has just about every giant monster Toho made up until the point because why not? It’s another typical story about mysterious aliens mind controlling kaiju to destroy Earth, but this time when they say Earth (and not just Tokyo) they mean it. Plenty of things get destroyed, nice big battle at the end, only thing lacking is they gave Baragon and Varan 3 seconds of screen time and they both are some of the coolest looking kaiju there are out there. big shame

10. Godzilla Vs. Mechagodzilla (90′s) - in this Heisei take on MechaG, his role goes from super deadly alien robot menace to kinda still deadly robot guardian built by the EDF. he looks cool but just seems more weak compared to the more sinister alien engineered one. Rodan makes a long awaited return and basically has a custody battle with Godzilla over a mysterious kaiju egg. no spoilers

11. Godzilla Vs. Hedorah - probably the scariest Godzilla movie with Destroyah placed next. he fights an alien pollution monster who has been taking big rips from factory smoke stacks only making him bigger every time. Japan’s take on an environmental awareness film and I see nothing wrong with it one bit.

12. Godzilla Vs. Biolante - zilla sees another type of counterpart to himself, this time essentially a ‘PlantZilla’ after a scientist thought it might be a good idea to merge Godzilla cells with a plant for some reason. the story is a bit odd, but this remains in middle ground territory because it debuts Miki Saegusa, the super adorable psychic girl who appears in every 90′s film afterwards and the special effects of Biolante in final form are sick.it also has a disco version of the zilla theme for some reason.

13. Godzilla: King of The Monsters - someone would bash me big time for having this any lower on the list, but this is the one that started it all, grimly filmed in black & white a decade after the end of WWII. fans know this already but it’s the atomic bombs themselves which devastated Japan that influenced the idea for Godzilla, a force of mutated nature that lashes back on humanity for making really bad decisions. I like this and all but it lacks zero charm or kaiju style ‘fun’ but for good reason, since it was meant to be more of a horror flick. 

14. Godzilla Vs. Gigan - for those that do want the campiness, this is one of the best the series has to offer along with a couple more below. Godzilla’s ol pal Anguirus returns for his last Showa effort as they team up against space monsters Gigan (who is edgy af) and once again Ghidorah (who sadly has been fighting on his own the whole time while other monsters always team up to bash him). being in the 70′s, it’s got shades of James Bond / spy films in it and the fashion is on point. we get to hear Godzilla talk for the only time ever too.

15. Godzilla Vs. Megalon - probably out camps #14 for several reasons: this entire time there have been an ancient race of humans living below the Earth who feel enough is enough between pollution and expansion of society and finally unleash their protector, a giant cockroach monster with drills for arms to destroy just Japan all modern civilization (where was he during Hedorah’s visit tho?). 2nd reason is there’s copycat Ultraman who also looks like Jack Nicholson, then there’s the edgy middle-school bully like relationship between Megalon and Gigan and then lastly the infamous Godzilla dropkick you might’ve seen in GIF form, if not well here you go:

16. Godzilla Vs. Monster Zero - probably the 1st 90% campy zilla flick because of the Godzilla victory dance alone, but this was also because as time went by more kids cared about the movies and not the original target audience of war torn adults. the aliens (at least in the dub version) speak super monotone even when they are being huge bad asses, and we get to see G and his on-and-off lover buddy team up again but this time IN #&$%#% SPACE. the setting on Planet X was real cool to see as a kid, but sadly we haven’t seen any kaiju fighting back in space ever since. the NES Godzilla game fixes that itch.

17. Son of Godzilla - well I’ve only ever seen this movie twice, which means it maybe just isn’t that good, even for G fans. it debuts, of course, the son of Godzilla who looks like a cross between the Cookie Monster and Michelin Man. I’ll give this movie credit for distancing zilla away from the city setting in replace with his tropical home territory in Monster Island which only gets glimpses in the other films. the ending shot is real sweet too.

18. Godzilla Vs. SpaceGodzilla - back to spaciness, we do see one last alien monster come to Japan in the 2nd to last 90′s Godzilla movie, appropriately called SpaceGodzilla. while he lacks agility (when not flying on his giant meth crystal) he makes up for it with telekinesis and other long range attacks. the story / acting / mostly everything is pretty so-so and we all know deep inside the only reasons to watch it still are the scenes with baby Godzilla stepping on land mines and more Miki Saegusa wardrobe changes, but the final battle in a crystal filled Fukuoka is really awesome. 

19. Godzilla’s Revenge - wow well I just noticed I put 3 baby zilla focused movies all in a row near the very bottom of the list, my bad. this one takes the cake tho for pure cringe. but it’s better than the last 3 so it can’t be super terrible, right? once again no spoilers but the only thing that bumps this stock footage filled movie more up then from being the worst of all time are the super silly fight scenes against baby Godzilla’s bully Gabara. you know Godzilla has to do it to em.

20. Godzilla Vs. The Sea Monster - even tho the former movie just reviewed uses stock footage of almost all the fight scenes of this one, it is somehow worst than #19 because it focuses way too much on a 60′s party cruise, and Godzilla gets a lil King Kong-ish during a scene with the love interest of the movie, and the giant lobster monster with no lasers / projectile claws just doesn’t seem as threatening as all the previous monsters zilla has fought since.

21. Godzilla Vs. King Kong - I’ll admit, I never liked King Kong and probably never will, and because he moves faster than Godzilla they had to use non-slowed down footage to make the monsters fight like kids on a playground slapping each other, and just looks weird. real talk, Godzilla would beat the shit out of Kong with a single radioactive blast and the movie would end right there. but that’s not the ending we got.. let’s start a patreon to rewrite the movie we all wanted.

22. Godzilla Raids Again - alright we finally made it, thee very worst Godzilla movie of all time according to the loser typing this. why? because it went against everything the first Godzilla movie represented, but like... suddenly, since it’s the sequel to the movie and the big G was never meant to return after, which luckily wasn’t the case. it’s superrrr campy but on the acting side, and the fights with newcomer Anguirus are super sped up even more than the Kong fights, and just seems tacky overall in a non-funny way. the suit for Anguirus is honestly one of the coolest kaijus ever tho, and they made little changes to him every time he came back cause it was just that good. 

anyways, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. if I were to recommend just 3 Godzilla movies to someone who has never seen them before to represent each side of the series, I’d pick Terror of MechaGodzilla for the serious pick, Ghidorah The Three Headed Monster for the balance / kaiju fest pick, and Godzilla Vs. Megalon for the most campy and fun one overall. hope this big list can help those who are curious! next up: Godzilla game reviews :)

[gffa]

(i hope it's okay to send you random ass questions! you always give really intersting and thoughtful answers so it's difficult not to :D) i've always seen anakin's and obi-wan's padawan-master relationship as anakin idolizing the person who's taking him in (somewhat similar to what would happen if someone lived with their childhood celebrity crush) and then growing up to emancipate himself, see obi-wan as a human being, being given space to become more independent, until they grow to see each

other as equals. i'm wondering if it's just my shippy ass speaking though because anakin does say that obi-wan is the closest he has to a father, and obi-wan calls him a brother. i always disregard these instances because anakin sounds like he's trying to deliberately rile up obi in the first one to me (something in his tone, i think?) and my queer ass feels like "you were my brother" was only added to "no homo" the "i loved you". but i'm really curious about how other people read theirrelationship pre-clone wars. do you think anakin as a child viewed obi-wan as a father figure? (or, horrible thought, sheev?) is it, like, canon compliant to just ignore the dialogue i mentioned above? idk i think the tl;dr here is that i don't really think much about their master-padawan relationship because i ship them in tcw era but it's at the back of my mind and i'm interested in how you view it?i think i mentioned my ass at least twice in my ask and i want to apologize

It is always okay to send me random ass questions!  And to mention your ass as many times as you want!  Especially if you’re going to say such kind things, you’re very sweet to do so.  ♥It took me awhile to put into words a lot of what I felt with their dynamic for a long time, why it didn’t ping the father/son parallels to me in ways other ships did, despite that I could see why others felt that way.  If someone feels like that’s their dynamic, I absolutely get it and I will happily talk to them about the characters on that level only, god knows I’ve had pairings that fall strictly into that category myself.Anakin does say, at two different points, that Obi-Wan was like a father to him--in Attack of the Clones and during the unfinished TCW episodes.  And it took me a long while to realize why it just never quite clicked for me, but it’s largely because both times Obi-Wan doesn’t really respond to that and their dynamic never really reflects that in any way we see.  They never act like father and son with each other, even as a Master and Padawan, they’re much more of a team who complement each other, they each learn from each other, they each give and take.  The very first thing we learn about Obi-Wan and Anakin’s dynamic in AOTC is that Obi-Wan is rescued by Anakin just as often as we can imagine a Master would rescue their Padawan.  (”I haven't felt you this tense... since we fell into that nest of gundarks.” "You fell into that nightmare, Master, and I rescued you, remember?”)During Revenge of the Sith, Obi-Wan says, “You were my brother!” which, lol, that’s never really struck me as being strictly familial, like brothers-in-arms are absolutely a thing and are often very shippy/subtexty.So, you have those three moments of (questionable) framing as a familial thing, which, hey, fair enough!  But it’s also weighed against a mountain of the two of them actually ACTING like an old married couple.  The beginning of Revenge of the Sith is like thirty minutes of pure banter on the way to Grievous’ flagship and once they’re onboard it just keeps going.  (”No loose wire jokes.” “Did I say anything?” “He's trying.” “I didn't say anything!”)(”This time we will do it together.” “I was about to say that.”)  Mixed in with a whole lot of, “Leave him!”  “His fate will be the same as ours!”You also have it weighed against things like Nick Gillard specifically choreographing their fight like a boyfriend/girlfriend fight where Obi-Wan doesn’t want to hurt Anakin, doesn’t want to have this fight.  You have it weighed against that scene were Obi-Wan tells Anakin he’s proud of him and the look on Anakin’s face has no straight explanation that has ever satisfied me.You have it weighed against the ROTS novel--that George line-edited himself!--that says, “Blade-to-blade, they were identical. After thousands of hours in lightsaber sparring, they knew each other better than brothers, more intimately than lovers; they were complementary halves of a single warrior.“And all of that is before we get into some of the supplementary canon stuff because we’ll be here all day if I start quoting Wild Space again.So much of their relationship isn’t textually explicitly about being romantic, but it sure is framed in a way that’s very easy (and sometimes difficult not to!) put in that frame to contrast it at the very least, to still be defined by that framework. “More intimately than lovers” (or the infamous “Obi-Wan woke up staring at what he was pretty sure was Anakin’s butt” scene in the ROTS novel again) may play at contrasting against the idea, but it’s also still framing their relationship in romantic terms, even as it does so.  It’s hard not to think of them as romantic when you’re specifically using the term “lovers” to describe them, no matter what direction you take the metaphor in.Even during the Obi-Wan & Anakin comic, when we see them interacting for more than five seconds at a time while Anakin is young, Obi-Wan is pretty clearly not his father, he rather directly refutes that point when asked.  He is Anakin’s teacher and every line he says or doesn’t respond to reflect that.  Anakin tries to put it into that context sometimes--and my headcanon is basically, “Why does he do that when their relationship doesn’t actually feel at all like a father/son one to me?  OH FUCK YOU FOR PROBABLY PUTTING THE IDEA IN HIS HEAD, PALPATINE.”  Because he would know that Anakin wants that figure--but is obviously not getting it if he’s coming to Palpatine, yet another indication that, no, Obi-Wan/Anakin doesn’t really work like that--and so would drive a wedge between him and Obi-Wan over it.But really what got me into going from “Ehhh, I don’t ship that at all.” when I started out (I know!  I was fairly against the idea of shipping them when I really dove deep into Star Wars about two years ago!) to “Oh, wow, okay, that is super shippy and NOW I JUST WANT THEM TO KISS.” is that we got to see their relationship go from teacher/student to peers while watching The Clone Wars. We see them regularly banter like an old married couple, we see them each depending on the other in a way that’s about two people who are on an even field, we see that their dynamic isn’t left behind as they both move forward, but instead continues to grow.They’re given such narrative importance and emotional weight and, sure, a lot of it comes down to personal interpretation of chemistry--some people are going to see their banter as subtexty, some people are going to see it as familial, both are right for the person doing the interpreting--but a lot of the framing devices and the very consistent lack of actually giving weight to the father/son thing in my eyes means that I can very easily ship them and those lines don’t bother me.  They don’t hold much weight and even the characters themselves barely seem to think in those terms, it doesn’t really bear out for me.Personally, I don’t really ship them much pre-TCW, but I definitely think Anakin had some Certain Feelings as a teenager that Obi-Wan very firmly shut down at the time and so Anakin just kind of sat on them and buried them and it rather explains a lot of why he’s so willing to believe that Obi-Wan and Padme would have an affair behind his back despite that they hardly interact at all--because Anakin wants them both, because Anakin sees them both in a romantic light, OF COURSE they would see each other in a romantic light, too!  This is backed up for me by bb!Anakin in the comic not really looking at him like a father figure, but like you said, a celebrity crush, that sense of OH MY GOD HE’S THE BEST is positively star-struck.I think you can ignore the dialogue about father figures if you want, but that you don’t really need to.  I think it’s Anakin parroting someone else’s words (as he does throughout Revenge of the Sith, there are at least four major points where he’s just literally repeating Palpatine almost word for word) in a way that doesn’t hold water when it comes to how they actually interact.  You can tell me all day long that they’re just father and son figures, but when there’s so little in the actual dynamic between them that speaks to me of that, it’s not going to mean much to me.  But there is a whole lot of them behaving like how my favorite Old Married Couples act and so, yeah, I’m going to head in that direction instead!

[ayma-nidiot]

“Don’t Speak Their Names” - Shrimpshipping fanfic Chapter 14

This chapter on AO3 can be found here.

Chapter 14 - Interesting History

“Hey.”

Rex waved off the kid who tried to poke him and continued his nap. “Ugh, leave me alone…” He continued to snore so loudly that nearby students stared at him in disgust, hoping that he would wake up, if only to shut up. “Mom, cook me some more… takoyaki, will ya?”

The kid knew just what to say to wake Rex up. He leaned in close and whispered with a smirk, “I beat you, Rex Raptor. Give me your rarest card.”

“Waaaaah!” The dino duelist was now awake. “No, you can’t have my Serpent Night Dragon! ...Oh, Espa Roba. Fancy meeting you here.”

“Well, of course! I’m just one of many students who has this ancient history class.”

Rex looked around. Unlike his freshman comp class, this classroom was a great hall, with every seat taken. And with that many students there, it got loud enough to really awaken him. In comparison to the seating area, the stage was broad and empty, save for a few impatient T.A.s that played on their phones after they finished setting up the lesson. “There has to be at least 100 students here!”

“Try 300. Then again, class does start in five minutes.”

“Aww, man…” Rex stretched until he felt fully awake. “At least I got some rest for myself and the little one.”

“What do you mean?”

At this point, Rex was used to telling everyone, but that didn’t make him any less proud with each announcement. “I’m intersex. Oh, and I’m 22 weeks pregnant, by the way.” He showed off his baby bump.

“That’s a bit hard to believe. And you let Weevil top you?” Espa closed his eyes halfway and raised his eyebrows. “Interesting, because he doesn’t strike me as a top at all. He’s way cuter than you’ll ever be. Nope, I’m not buying it.”

“It’s not as hard to believe as your phony psychic powers.” Rex felt another kick. “See, even my kid thinks so. And you don’t have to lecture me on how cute he is.” Rex waggled his eyebrows. “Believe me, I know. ”

“Pssh, whatever.”

“By the way, how are things?”

Somehow, Espa knew what Rex was talking about - or so the faux psychic thought. “I-If it’s about Mako, then�� uh… we…” he stuttered, unlike his sly manner of speech from before.

“That was actually more of a general ‘how are things.’ But I’m glad things are working out for you. You know, Weeves and I saw you two at the café, and let me tell you, you guys look cute together. So are you an item yet, or what?” 

Espa’s legs fidgeted. “...We did it once.”

“Whaaaat? You did? When?” Rex curled up into a ball, much like a kindergartener excited for storytime might. "And where?"

“It was last night, in the back of his car - a white 2004 Toyota Camry, if I might add. In a deserted church parking lot, mind you. And even though it was the first time for both of us, he was rather good at it. It hardly even hurt.” Espa’s face turned as red as a cherry. “...I can’t believe I’m telling the worst duelist in all of Domino City this. Though I haven’t confessed to Mako yet.”

Rex turned serious for once, and gave Espa a consolation pat on the back. “Well, my man, you’ve already taken a great first step. You’re adorable as heck, and you're a smart, talented duelist. How could he not fall for you?”

“Th-Thanks, I suppose.”

“Speaking of, I saw Mako today at the club fair. He was looking for you, wanting to apologize for… something.”

“H-He was?” Espa sounded even more flustered. “Oh, great… I bet he didn’t enjoy it at all… Gods, I’m so bad.”

“No, no. It was more like… He was the shy one. He sounded like he was concerned for you. But it’s good to know you’re feeling okay. When Weeves and I did it for the first time, he told me his ass hurt like hell the next day. So consider yourself lucky.”

“Tee hee…” Espa snapped out of his sour mood. “If that’s the case, then I’m glad I’m not your boyfriend. You sound awful in bed. You didn't even use lube, did ya?”

"Th-That's none of your-" Rex didn't want to divulge that he and Weevil lost their virginity to each other in Pharaoh Atem's palace hospital - the most unromantic of settings, if he had to be honest. "Well, no. We didn't have any at the time. But I can assure you that things are better in that arena now." With his pregnancy going on, Rex hadn't thought about having sex with Weevil lately, let alone talked about it. He had never thought about doing it while pregnant, but he had to admit that he wanted to give it a try.

"Who knew we would talk like this?" Espa chuckled.

“Not me, that's for sure. Anyway, you should visit us at club sometime. We meet tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t. Not tomorrow, anyway. Babysitting duty for my brothers and all that. Maybe another time.” Espa turned to the door, and the entry of a scruffy-looking, short man silenced everyone. “Lookit, the professor just arrived. He’s one of the most popular professors at this university, so I think you’ll like this class.”

“Is he now? Oh!” Rex immediately recognized Dr. Saurus. “I know him! I’ve dueled him before!”

“Did you win?”

���O-Of course I did!”

“Hahaha, yeah right.”

“Shaddap! The professor’s about to start talking.”

“Hello, hello!” Dr. Saurus struck a pose.

“He’s just as goofy as my freshman comp professor,” Rex laughed.

“Yeah, about that,” Espa began. “You know that part when our high school counselors said that ‘your college professors are serious and won’t accept silly behaviour?’ Boloney. Especially at Domino City University.”

“Then I really think I’ll like it here.” Rex kicked back and took out his laptop to take notes. Not that he really expected to take any on the first day of school.

“Hello, class, and welcome to ancient history. I’m your professor, Dr. Spinos Saurus. My father is from Greece, but when he was young, he moved to Japan, where he met my mother. But just recently, they moved back to Greece.”

“I was wondering where he got that funny name,” Rex thought aloud. In a not-so-diverse city like Domino, he was pleasantly surprised to see more hafus other than himself, Ptera, and Weevil. Then again, with how many people this popular university had, it stood to reason.

“I am not only a professor at this esteemed university, I am also a leading paleontologist. Our first unit will cover the formation of the universe, and how dinosaurs came to be.”

“That is siiiiiick! Dinos for the win!” Rex got up without thinking and dabbed.

“My, my.” Spinos chuckled. “I’m glad someone’s passionate about my class. I just hope that he can study better than he duels.”

“Daaaang, you just got roasted by a professor on the first day.” Espa couldn’t stop laughing.

“Twice.” Rex huffed. His face quickly changed from a pout to a smile, however. After skimming the class syllabus, Spinos spoke about the Big Bang. Rex didn’t have much interest in history before, as his teachers in high school bored him to tears. But this new teacher made history so interesting, Rex wished he could take better notes. I need to learn how to type without looking at the keys.

The dinosaur duelist never thought he would, but he was genuinely upset when class ended. He was even more upset when he tried to catch up with Spinos as he left, but couldn’t. About fifty other students wanted to have a word with him, even when the professor insisted he had to travel to an archaeological site that day. But that didn’t stop him from noticing Rex in the crowd and saying, “You’re that kid I dueled. How’s it goin’?”

“Awesome! I really liked today’s lecture, by the way. You should teach the teachers at my old high school how to actually be fun.”

“Young man, if I could clone myself to be in multiple places at once, I would. Right after I revive a Brachiosaurus, of course.”

“Hey, my name isn’t ‘young man!’” Rex put his hands on his hips. “I’m Rex Raptor, the son of Ptera Raptor, and don’t you forget it!”

“Did you say ‘Ptera Raptor?’” Spinos’ eyes suddenly opened wide. “So that was her in the hospital…”

“What, do you know my mom?”

“You… could say that.” Spinos squirmed at the mention of Ptera’s name, but still showed kindness towards Rex. “Anyway, if you want to duel me or come to an archaeological site with me, you’re more than welcome to.”

“For real?!” Rex jumped excitedly, until a hard kick from his baby brought him down to Earth. “Ouch… I’d love to join you today, but Mom would have a fit if I did. I’ll try to convince her to let me go with you one day.”

“Y-Yeah… Have a good day, then.” So spoke Spinos as he left the scene.

“That was a little weird… Dr. Saurus seems really nice to me, but doesn’t want to talk about Mom.” Since Ptera wouldn’t come until Weevil’s last class ended, Rex decided to spend the next couple of hours absentmindedly perusing the library shelves. That absentminded perusing, however, soon turned into a checkout consisting of five large books about dinosaurs and a limited edition of Jurassic Park.

The bug duelist would find him sleeping in front of a school computer, with a YouTube video called “How to Stomp Your Foes with Dinosaur Cards” on the screen. “Hey, Sleeping Beauty, wake up. Or I’m going to carry you like a princess all the way to Ptera’s car.”

“No, you won’t. Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I can’t walk. Or did you forget I was the top athlete at Domino High School?” Rex stumbled as he got up. “Oww!”

“Uh-huh.”

Rex didn’t want to admit it, but his ankles had been hurting ever since Spinos’ class ended, and his back hurt even more. “Shut up, bug boy! I wanna go home, and I’m sure you do too!”

After a walk that involved two trips to the loo, Rex and Weevil finally arrived at the car loop to an energetic Ptera. “So, how did the first day go, boys?”

“Pretty well,” answered Weevil. “Although my calculus teacher cut right to the chase. No introduction, no syllabus go-over, not even an icebreaker. Just straight into the integrals.”

“Uuuuugh! That word!” Rex curled up into a ball. 

“So I take it your first day didn’t go as planned?”

“Oh, it went fine. Mostly because Weevil and I had freshman comp together." Rex turned to Weevil and whispered. "Turns out Espa Roba is in my ancient history class. And he did it with Mako. Don't ask me how, but our conversation went on such a tangent that he got me to think about... um, pregnant sex."

"Well, well." Weevil liked the sound of it. "Sure, as long as you don't stress yourself or the baby."

"Hehehe..." Rex let Weevil curl into him further. "You know I won't."

“Oh, yeah." Weevil turned his head to Adelaide. “Adelaide, I saw Mother in my freshman comp class. She’s one of my classmates. Apparently, she’s working to be a doctor!”

“C-Camellia… She’s here in Domino City? I’m glad…”

“Mrs. Raptor, I would love to invite her over sometime, if that’s okay with you.”

“Of course! I’d love to meet your mother.”

“Ooh, Mom!” Rex spoke up. “I have this super-awesome professor for ancient history! Not only that, but he loves dinosaurs too!”

“He… He does?” Ptera’s good mood faded in an instant.

“Yeah! His name is Dr. Spinos Saurus! He’s also a leading paleontologist and even invited me to go with him to archaeological sites! Please, Mom, can I go?”

As she pulled into the driveway of the mobile home, Ptera slammed on the brakes.

“Ow!” Rex rubbed his belly. “Did you forget that I’m with child?”

“Absolutely not!” Ptera scowled at her son when all four of them were out of the car. “You are to stay away from that pendejo, understood?”

“But Mom, he’s my professor. It’s kind of hard to stay away from him.”

Ptera gritted her teeth. “At the very least, you are not to hang out with him.”

“What’s gotten into you?” Rex looked perplexed.

“Rex… Did you notice what that man looked like?”

“He had a goatee and a really shaggy moustache. He also had wild brown hair and indigo eyes. ...Now that you mention it, he looks like me. Mom… Don’t tell me… Dr. Saurus is-”

“That vile, disgusting man is your father, who abandoned us almost 20 years ago.”

[thesceneandherd]

What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

I love The Rise of Skywalker. I don’t think that it’s an excellent movie, but I love the moments it gives us with Ben and Rey. The big themes of love, sacrifice, death, rebirth, are executed really well in this movie. Of course, these themes resonate with us because they are the same biblical themes in Christ’s story. God loved the world so much that he sent his son to die for us. Christ conquered death, which not only led to his resurrection, but also gives us victory over death as well. These motivations are seen in Revenge of the Sith when Anakin is desperate to find a way to save Padme, his only love, from death. He believes that the only way is to discover new powers through the dark side. Rise of Skywalker gives us a cruel irony, that Anakin could have saved Padme with the light side like Ben does with Rey. However, that salvation requires sacrafice. Who knows if Anakin would have made the choice to sacrifice himself for Padme? I tend to think that his love for her was pretty selfish, especially from what you see in Clone Wars. Ben transcends that selfishness and redeems the Skywalker lineage through his sacrifice. I like this interpretation of redemption, much more than one that says Ben needs redemption for himself because of the evil things he has done. I’ve talked about this in another post, but retributive justice is just a really bland story beat in my opinion. And that’s coming from a lawyer. Mercy is a so much more compelling story than someone paying for their mistakes. And if you demand to see justice, then you also literally see Kylo receive a mortal wound from Rey, die, and be reborn as Ben. And I know I’m glossing over the fact that Anakin eventually does make a act of sacrificial love for Luke. He know that his suit is going to get fried by the lightening and he does it anyway. But that act was coupled with his destiny to destroy the sith (at least that was the way Lucas had it). I really appreciate that Ben’s act was purely motivated to save Rey.

Now, there are trending hashtags on Twitter this week about bringing Ben back from the dead and continuing the story. I understand the desire to see that. But it also takes away the consequence of Ben’s sacracficial act of love. We saw twice that using the force in extraordinary ways has consequence. Both Luke and Liea use the force so hard that they die. If Ben doesn’t die, then the story loses the consequence and instead Ben is basically a deity. So the question is, would this story have been better with no grand act of sacrificial love, and instead allowed Ben and Rey to have a happily ever after? Star Wars is best when it’s hitting those Shakespearean tragic notes. Everyone praised the bold decision to end Rogue One with everyone dying in the end. I would hate to lose the moment that Ben saves Rey in exchange for a happy ever after. That moment is what ties the entire story together. Even so, do we to think that Rey can only be happy if Ben survives? When of course Finn, Poe, and Chewie are all still kicking and ready to help rebuild the world with her? He story arc was to find a family. Not to find a romantic love. The romantic love story is great, but without it, she still has a lot to celebrate. There is plenty of room for her to have a happy life. And who know, she may end up with Finn or Poe one day. Ultimately, I am happier with what we got out of this movie than anything else Disney has done so far.

[arielsojourner]

Vader Strikes Back - Part the Fifth

Not beta read/really rough/not really proof read/plot holes and OUT of order.  Also spoilers for the original first story in AO3 Back From the Future: Episode VI The Clone Wars.  Check the tag #vader strikes back on my page for the other parts to this mess/fic outline. Again I value feedback and ideas if you have any.

*

The Medical Quarters were unusually full. It was driving Quick crazy. He could barely make his rounds in between all the visiting clone brothers and his patients moving around to cluster around Fives’ bed since he was still the most incapacitated. The holoscreen was blaring and he’d nearly lost track of whom he’d given meds to already and who still needed their daily dose twice. If things didn’t calm down and soon he was going to break his promise and throw every healthy clone out and tie down all his patients until they were healed! 

Enough was enough. He was calling Captain Rex and putting a stop to all of this right now.

*

“So that’s what we’ve got,” Uni finished, muting the holonet. “The whole story came out of a leak from Senator Organa’s office but the real source appears to be the Jedi Council. Now most of the Holonews isn’t touching the stuff but the story is gaining traction and it won’t be long before it will be featured on even the biggest networks.”

“It’s total poodoo is what it is,”  Slice grumped. “Luke died a hero and Vader isn’t interested in ruling anything! The Order is just--just prejudiced.”

“We know all that, but what are we going to do about it?” Echo asked. 

“We could go public,” Hardcase suggested. “Tell the truth.” At the incredulous looks of his brothers, Hardcase rolled his eyes. “C’mon, stop thinking like you’re still on Kamino. We have rights like any other sentient. We can and should speak out just like any natural born person. We’ve got a story. We should tell it.”

“But who’s going to listen?” Mixer interrupted. “Luke and Vader and a few systems may treat us like we’re free but everyone else thinks we’re no better than fleshy droids. No one’s going to believe a clone. The Republic doesn’t care about us. The Separatists hate us. The League aren’t the problem and the Order, well, they’re the cause of all of this!”

This sparked off a chorus of voices yelling over one another.

“Hey, hey!” Fives yelled from where he lay flat in the middle of the arguing brothers. “Enough! Hardcase, sit down before Quick sedates you. The rest of you shut up for a second.” The men quieted around him. “Now, Mixer has a point-- no, quiet and listen. Just because you don’t like to hear it doesn’t mean it’s not true. We are more than just numbers and canon fodder but that doesn’t mean anyone else out in the galaxy knows any of that. If we want to fight these lies we need to get people to trust us first.”

“Oh, like that’s going to be so easy,” Mal said with a scowl. “None of us even know any civilians, let alone holonet reporters. It’s not like we have friends or family outside the GAR. What do we know about getting people to trust us? We’re lab grown clones. What do we even know about any of this? Nothing. Each of us is barely a handful of years old and we know nothing about anything except how to fight and how to kill!”

A pillow hit Mal smack in the face and the troopers began shouting again.

“I’ve got friends.”

“What?” Fives yelled over the din, trying to raise his head. “Shut up would you? What did you say? Uni, get off Echo! Who said that? CT-9779, what did you say?”

Over a dozen faces turned to the young clone on the edge of the group. He was engrossed in his data pad. 

“CT-9779! Hey!” Hardcase said waving his arms. “What did you say?”

The unremarkable familiar face devoid of ink or anything other than the standard hair cut looked up. He flushed under the regard of his older brothers. “Er, nothing, nothing.”

“No, you said something about friends. What was it?” Fives prompted him. 

CT-9779 shrugged. “I’ve got friends. Y’know, who aren’t brothers. Civvies.”

“Who you? Yeah right. How?” Mal scoffed.

“Shut up, Mal,” Slice said digging his elbow into his squad mate’s side. 

“Who’re you friends with?” Hardcase asked. “Anyone I know?”

“Er, well, on the holonet,” he said pointing to his datapad. “I joined the groups that Hack Squad set up, y’know between squads and I messaged a couple of brothers I know in some other battalions and shared some of my credits from my stipend and helped them get datapads so we could stay in touch and then, well . . . I messaged Ventress and connected with her, and then just for a joke I messaged the Duchess Satine on this one holosite and they both messaged me back! So I joined a few other sites. They’re free and everything. And I started sharing and reblogging things. And the stuff I shared, and it wasn’t classified, I was careful, it was popular. There’s not a lot of news from the front y’know. People, natural born people, civvies, they wanted to know. And the Duchess has all these contacts on a bunch of systems and they connected with me on all these different holosites, asking questions and being  . . . nice and-- and we’ve become . . . friends,” he finished awkwardly at the incredulous looks he was getting. 

Uni moved closer reached for the datapad. “Lemme see.” Before CT-9779 could stop him he snatched it up and started scrolling through the open programs and pages. “What the hell?” he muttered. 

The clones leaned forward trying to see the screen. 

“Be careful!” CT-9779 said. “I was in the middle of posting something. Don’t delete it. I haven’t saved it yet.”

“What? What is it?” Echo asked.

Uni shook his head. “This can’t be right. This says you’ve got close to  a million followers on this one site alone. And over here, you’ve got almost a three hundred thousand just following what holo pictures you take and most of these followers aren’t brothers at all. It’s gotta be fake.”

CT-9779 tried to take back his datapad but Uni moved out of his reach. “They’re not fake. They’re natural born people.”

“You’ve got a ton of people as an audience without even trying. And they-they like it. They like things you write about and post about, about clones, about General Skywalker and Luke, about Vader, about all of us.” Uni handed over the datapad to Slice who after a moment passed it to Mal and then around the rest of the circle of clones. “We can use this. You think no one will listen? These people will and if we really try, we can spread this everywhere. Who needs the holonews? If enough people talk about it we’ll make our own news.”

“You can’t seriously think this will work though?” Mal asked. “Just because a bunch of civvies talk about us and about the truth isn’t going to change anything.”

“Worked for Luke though,” Chatterbox reminded him with a shrug as he took the datapad and Force tossed it back to CT-9779.

“Yeah, yeah it did,” Fives said with a growing sense of excitement. “Luke said the war was over and everyone thought he was crazy. I don’t even think Vader believed it. Hells, we didn’t believe it at first either, but he kept saying it. He kept saying it to everyone, senators, other Jedi, planetary leaders, all of us and look around. The war is over! It’s over because he said it was  over and he did everything he damn well could to show everyone else the truth. We just need to do the same thing.”

“It could work,” Slice said rubbing his chin. “But it would be better if we could talk about what we’re doing now, share that on these media sites.”

“What, healing and driving Quick crazy?” Hardcase joked.

Fives hit his clenched fist against his bed in frustration. “No, we need something big. Something important so people pay attention, something like--”

“Something like Vader’s plans to liberate Tatooine,” Rex said, stepping into the Medical Quarters, Quick on his heels.

The men came to attention as best as their various levels of health would allow.

Quick glanced around his domain and stomped over to start picking up previously thrown pillows and cups and bits and pieces the troopers had knocked over during their arguments, muttering under his breath. 

“Captain,” Echo said, standing at attention. “We, er, we’re off duty and just visiting.”

Rex merely raised one brow at the ARC trooper who winced and shut his mouth. “Seems more like planning than visiting to me, trooper. And your plans not half bad to be honest. You just need a little more focus and a little less throwing of pillows.”

“Yes sir,” the men chorused. 

“CT-9779,” Rex snapped.

“Y-yes sir,” the clone said, saluting sharply. 

“You’re reassigned to Hack Squad effective immediately. Get started on a media campaign with them to get the word out to the other Battalions and to the civvies on both sides of the galaxy. The rest of you that are well enough, I’ve got Vader’s plans uploaded on the shipboard link and they need to be firmed up. I want suggestions and creative ideas. This isn’t your standard liberation plan against the Seppies. When we rendezvous with him in a half rotation, I want to be ready to brief him in full and get moving on the campaign as soon as possible.”

“Yes sir!”

“Very well,” Rex said with a nod and then his stern features softened slightly. “I think-- I think Commander Luke would’ve been very  . . . pleased to see you all working together like this. Good work, all of you.”  

The troopers all looked at each other and smiled as the Captain left.

“Well, you heard the Captain,” Hardcase said gleefully, using the Force to snag the remote and unmute the holoscreen. “We better get ready for the briefing.”

“Now wait just a minute!” Quick yelled snatching the remote from him. “You are not well enough yet to do anything, let alone go to the briefing! Back to bed, all of you and the rest of you get out!” 

*

Krennic has surrounded himself with bodyguards but it makes no difference. They die screaming under Vader’s blade. He stops briefly at a computer terminal to infect it with the worm Hack Squad has prepared for him and continues the hunt. Vader is trying to treat this like any other mission. He tries to remind himself that this is no different than hunting down Rebels or the Death Star plans but the mere thought of that turns his stomach.

(Leia. He had tortured his own daughter).

But at least the hate is better than the grief. It may burn inside him but it is better than collapsing numb and powerless under the weight of sorrow. Let me burn, he thinks to himself savagely as he tears apart the droids barring his way, slashing through bulkheads following Krennic’s desperate trail. Let the rest of me just burn away. 

Vader finally breaks into the last panic room and Krennic shoots at him frantically. It is all too easy to block the blaster bolts, tear the weapon from the man’s hand and strangle him. He watches as Krennic collapses, turns blue and then purple and then finally gagging drops dead to the floor.

Vader grips his lightsaber tighter and looks down at the body. He has long hated Krennic with his weaseling manipulative ways, his blatant desire for power and authority. He’s dreamed of killing him more than once. It is good that he is dead and his weapon plans destroyed. 

But Vader can feel no satisfaction. He still hates and wishes that Krennic had somehow marshaled more of a challenge against him, provided more targets for him to vent his rage against. He casts his mind out. Perhaps there are still some bodyguards or droids left alive. Perhaps there is someone else he can kill or destroy.

But no. He has been thorough. There is no threat left alive. 

Everyone is dead.

He turns and goes back to the computer terminal. Maybe there is a new trail to follow, a new name he will recognize and he can start the hunt again.

(The Emperor’s Hound, his attack dog, Sith monster, the Emperor’s pet killer running his quarry to ground . . .)

Vader draws himself up short. He’d hunted Luke this way, chasing down leads, slaughtering as he went and in the end it was a simple message not a threat that brought his son to his side.

Without thinking, Vader reaches out through the Force for his son.

--dark, warm, sad, pain, burning--

Vader wrenches himself away from the baby’s Force presence, cursing himself. He knows better. His Force presence filled with hate and anger overwhelms the baby. He will destroy both of the children if he is not careful, if he cannot control his weak ways. He needs to stop reaching out. There is no one to reach back.  

Luke is dead.

He stares at the computer screen blankly. What is he going to do now? he wonders bleakly. Vader considers the still lit saber for a long moment.

His commlink beeps. He answers it.

“Captain Rex reporting, sir. We’ve just arrived in orbit. We have a company ready to join you on the surface if need be.”

Vader disengages his saber.

“There is no need Captain. The target is dead. I have destroyed the files. I will rendezvous with the ship shortly.” 

“Understood sir. Oh, and sir?”

“Yes, Captain?”

“We have some information to brief you on when you arrive on board.”

“Very well. Vader out.”

Vader turns and begins the journey back to the Twilight. Perhaps the 501st will have a new mission. Perhaps Hack Squad has found another danger that needs to be destroyed. Perhaps . . .

*

Obi-Wan  finds Anakin in the nursery. He is soothing the children. Luke is crying and Leia is whimpering in sympathy. It is good to hear Anakin’s voice again.

“Are they all right?” Obi-Wan asks.

“Luke’s just a little scared,” Anakin replies. “I think . . . I think Vader sometimes forgets. He reaches out and . . .” Anakin shrugs.

Obi-Wan’s eyes widen in shock. He hurries over to the crib, looking anxiously at the twins. “Do you mean, he actually . . . is he here?”  Obi-Wan doesn’t know what to do if Vader has come to Naboo. Will he have to fight him? What if he comes for the children? What does he want?

Anakin shakes his head. “He’s light years away. He won’t come here.”

“Light years? But--”

“If size doesn’t matter to the Force, and time obviously doesn’t matter to the Force, then distance probably doesn’t matter either,” Anakin says sardonically as the babies quiet under his hands. 

For Vader to be that strong . .  . Obi-Wan internally shudders at the thought. He looks at his former Padawan and wonders what feats of the Force Anakin is capable of.

“How do you know he won’t come here? If he’s reaching out as you say . . .”

“He doesn’t mean to. He doesn’t mean to frighten Luke. He pulls away as soon as he realizes it’s  . . .not who he’s really looking for.” Anakin says softly. “He’s not going to come to Naboo or anywhere Padme or the children are now or ever. He’s not going to come because I wouldn’t come.”

“I don’t understand,” Obi-Wan says after a long moment. It makes no sense to him. Seeing how devoted Anakin is and remembering even those few moments with Vader, how desperate he was to protect Padme as she was giving birth, he would expect Vader to come. He feels like he doesn’t understand Vader, never understood Anakin properly at all. 

“When you hate yourself that much, when you are afraid that you will destroy who you desperately want to protect, you avoid the ones you love.”

Obi-Wan swallows hard. He knew Anakin’s emotions ran strong and he didn’t think he would ever forget the Forcestorm of hate, betrayal and self-loathing he felt from Vader. But he’d always believed that those who fell to the Dark were different, altered permanently from those who stood in the Light. Anakin couldn’t possibly know all this unless he knew what Vader was thinking and feeling intimately. “And you? Do you feel. . .” Obi-Wan trails off. He doesn’t want to ask. He doesn’t want to contemplate that the boy he raised has anything in common with the Sith Lord. 

Anakin looks at him and smiles painfully. “Always. The fear’s always been there,” he admits and it’s like a blow that leaves Obi-Wan breathless. “The hate . . . that grew later. But one of us needs to be here for Padme, for Leia and Luke, for Ahsoka, and for you. So I’m staying here and he’ll  . . . stay away. You won’t have to fight him, not unless you seek him out.”

“No. I cannot face him. I won’t.”

Anakin nods, gaze returning to the now sleeping infants. “Thank you,” he whispers. He takes a few shuddering breaths, hands gripping the edge of the crib tightly. “I know I’ve failed--”

“No, you didn’t fail. You didn’t Fall.”

He huffs a laugh. “Close enough.”

“Close only counts with Hardcase and pulse grenades,” Obi-Wan reminds him sternly. “You’re still here.”

Anakin closes his burning eyes tightly, too ashamed to even look at his old Master. “Obi-Wan, you have no idea,” he says, voice breaking. “I’m no Jedi. Not really. I could never learn how, no matter how hard I tried. You were right, Yoda was right. I’m dangerous.”

Obi-Wan takes hold of Anakin’s shoulder and turns him until they stand face to face. “Listen to me, Anakin. Please, just listen. There is good in you, so much good. If you have struggled with the Dark, if you have been unable to master letting go of your attachment, your fear, your anger, and your hate that doesn’t mean you’re not a Jedi or that you’re a failure. The truth is . . . I haven’t mastered those skills either. I don’t think I ever will. I’ve just gotten very very good at pretending,” he confesses gently as Anakin wipes at his eyes with one hand. “So, if that’s what makes someone dangerous, then you’re not alone.  I just hope you don’t mind the company.”

“No,” Anakin says with a watery laugh. “I don’t mind.”

“We’ll figure this out, all of it, together. We’re safe and the war is over. We have time and I promise you, I’m not going anywhere.”

[roland-terrasold-blog]

Journal 52

I hope that my previous journal and this one will remain together. Linda took the last dozen pages of my journal writing her speech to the people of Blackwell. Without permission, but I suppose she was running on little time and I had the only writing material nearby. I bought a new one in Sandpoint since then. In case they are separated someday: this is the journal of Roland Terrasold, cleric of Sarenrae. My writings were originally meant to only be travel journals to help me focus in my free time. Seeing how our fame has grown in Sandpoint since we last visited, however, this may well be a historical document someday. I hope that my words will bear weight in the future. At least more than whatever stories the church, Cardinal Zalbrag, and those looking to profit off our adventures may have decided to spin since then.

But I will get to that complaint shortly. Obviously we survived, got off the moon, and returned to Sandpoint since my previous entry. I’ll try to keep events in order as best I can, as usual. I apologize if these journals become separated, I have little talent for summarizing. If I try to note what I’ve already written in the past, I’ll likely take up many more pages than is necessary.

If I recall, I left off as we entered Blackwell’s noble district. The entire place was deserted. We climbed the stairs to the palace, and found a warzone. There were corpses and twisted destroyed bits of metal everywhere. On closer examination, however, the bodies had long since rotted away, and everything was covered in a layer of dust. This wasn’t caused by Clyde’s attack on the city. This was an ancient battleground, the site of the last rebellion when Blackwell took the throne. He was so far gone that he’d never even bothered to bury the dead.

There was an entrance to the castle nearby, which lead us down a single dark hallway. Finally we came to a walkway over an enormous pit, which was too deep to see the bottom. And waiting there in his enormous suit of armor was King Blackwell.

Blackwell spoke to Linda first. He told her of her origins, something not even she knew about. Blackwell’s biological son and daughter had died long ago, killed when her mother died in childbirth. Blackwell had become obsessed with bringing them back. Time after time, the results were failures. The undead creatures we’d faced, the cloning tubes where Nel’s body had been rebuilt, all of it had been for Blackwell to recreate his children. But when Linda had been created, before she’d breathed her first breath, she’d eaten her twin brother. Blackwell wanted her killed. She was yet another failure in his eyes. But the scientist told to end her life instead saved her. Linda’s teacher, the monk who raised her and Meinus, had left his home on the moon and hid Linda away on Galorian.

Before fighting us, Blackwell revealed that he’d made two more clones of his children. Two toddlers, a boy and a girl, climbed out of the giant mechanical armor and fled from the scene of our fight at Blackwell’s order. I’m glad he had the decency not to get the children involved, at least…

Before Blackwell could act, Unae had Theo channel her magic through himself, casting ice slick on the ground under his feet. Nel asked me to cast enlarge person on Linda, while he planned to use bull’s strength, so that our warrior princess could overpower the king’s mechanical suit.

King Blackwell activated a device on his back, which allowed him to rise into the air and fly over the near-bottomless pit. From his position in the air, he attacked Elkin with two spinning axe heads, which cut through even Elkin’s thick armor like it was paper. This, however, gave Linda an opening to charge. Blackwell manages to attack her with one of his weapons, but this gave Linda an opening to retaliate with an axe swing of her own. In the meantime, I cast a mass cure spell to heal both Elkin and Linda of their wounds. At the sight of this Blackwell made a sick comment, that he would relish me healing Linda over and over just so that he could keep killing her each time. Looking back, it sounds like something Ashton would say. How do we always run into these kinds of psychopaths?

Unae, at Ichibod’s urging, began shooting the flying machine on the king’s back. It seemed to start coming loose. Unfortunately, he didn’t take kindly to a weak point in his armor being exposed. He flew at Unae, cutting deeply with his spinning axeheads. Fortunately, Nel was nearby and healed her.

Less fortunately, Linda took the moment to fling her axe into Blackwell’s back, destroying the flying machine. While he was still hovering over Unae, Meinus, and Nel. Unae and Meinus managed to dodge out of the way, their reflexes ever-impressive. Nel was less fortunate. He jumped out of the way, but he wasn’t fast enough. His legs were crushed under the force of the falling giant-sized armor. I swear I could hear his bones snapping from where I was. Blackwell returned to his feet and promised to kill Nel first as an example.

There was no chance I would allow that. We hadn’t just gotten Nel back to let him be crippled and murdered by this lunatic. I made a dash for Nel. At the same time, Theo and Ichibod summoned distractions for the king, in the form of a lightning elemental (Theo’s doing) and a giant illusory Ichibod which yelled something along the lines of “you’re a terrible father” at Blackwell (Ichibod’s doing…obviously).

This bought me the time I needed to get to Nel’s side and heal his crushed legs.

Unfortunately, getting so close to the giant suit of armor left me and Nel wide open for an attack from the king. Blackwell’s armor opened up, and a number of buzzsaws on mechanical arms came out of it. These arms spun around Blackwell, catching everyone near him. I felt flesh rip from bone, but the pain lasted only a moment, before Nel used his paladin ability ‘lay on hands’ to stitch my wounds closed. He was bleeding badly himself, but he told me not to focus on him, but on knocking Blackwell over the edge. There was still ice on the ground from Theo’s spell, and the giant contraption no longer had a way to fly. It sounded like a perfect plan to end this quickly.

Linda had the same idea, and began trying to grapple the giant armored king. Ichibod flew around behind him and tried tripping Blackwell with his tendril-like dreadlocks, but with little luck. Even Theo’s lightning elemental tried to assist in knocking him backwards. Yet still he kept his footing.

Before we could redouble our efforts, Blackwell regained his footing enough to charge forward. He rammed into Linda, pushing her backwards, almost off the narrow walkway. As Blackwell tried to push her off, Linda tried to use his own weight against him, to topple him over her. Both tumbled over the edge. Almost on instinct, I cast feather fall on Linda, keeping her suspended in the air and drifting slowly, and safely, downward. Blackwell’s mechanical arm shot out, allowing him to grab the side of the walkway. Nel told Ichibod to catch him, then he leapt over the side and severed the chain connecting Blackwell’s armored body to the walkway, sending him falling below. Ichibod quickly jumped onto his broom and he caught Nel as instructed. He also took the time to tow Linda back while the effects of featherfall were still keeping her suspended in the air.

Linda was visibly upset about something. She told Nel to remove the Mark of Wrath from her forehead. Nel tried twice, but both times the magic of the mark recoiled and burnt Nel’s hand on contact. I offered to try instead, as I have a little more experience with dispelling magic than Nel. At a touch, I could sense the powerful magic behind her mark. Something like and yet unlike the arcane magic I’ve been slowly growing accustomed to. There was a darkness behind the magic, something sinister. I trapped the Rune Lord’s magic with Sarenrae’s light and drew it out of Linda’s body before destroying is, permanently removing the cursed mark from our world.

Ichibod located a gemstone on the ground, which acted as a key for the door on the opposite side of the walkway. Through that door we found ourselves in the throne room. It was mostly more technology, except a huge window looking out into space. Elkin offered the chair to Linda, but Linda said it wasn’t hers.

Ichibod spotted a button on the throne, and decided that only Linda had a say in what to do with it, as the queen. Linda said she didn’t care. I’d never seen her in such a mood. I’ve seen Linda in a couple of bad places. Angry? Oh yes. Drunk and a little scared? Yes. But this dejection, this apathy…this was new.

I didn’t have much time to worry over Linda, however. Without an argument from Linda, Elkin pushed the button. The entire room began moving. Looking out the window confirmed it, we were going down. As I mentioned in a previous entry, the throne room was another elevator. This one would go deep into the core of the city.

An incredibly long time passed. I don’t know if we were simply moving slowly or if we truly went that deep underground. Probably both. Anyone following all of my entries knows how much writing I finished while waiting for the room to stop moving, and I assure you my penmanship is not terribly fast.

Linda seemed to have regained some of her spunk by the time the room grinded to a halt, and she had the door opened and was exiting before any of the rest of us could react.

We found ourselves in a huge room, the center of which was taken up by an enormous serpentine dragon. The once majestic creature was bound in cables and chains, and had tubes stuck into it which were draining a glowing blue and golden substance out of it. The chains were held in place by a black lock, which Linda called the “Heart of Blackwell”. She pulled out the key to the lock, which she’d apparently had this entire time.

Near the dragon was a crater, where the twisted metal of King Blackwell’s armor could be seen. Before Linda could use the key, the king dug his way from the remains of his armor. Without his giant suit, he was a small, scarred man, deformed from using the mana for countless years. He spoke not to us, but to the dragon. He told it to join its anger with his, to get its revenge.

Everything went white. For a moment it was like when we faced the Black Magga, I couldn’t talk or move or see my friends. Then we appeared in a huge cavern, with pools of glowing blue and gold liquid spread across the ground.

Towards the back of the room, a huge figure pulled himself from the largest pool of liquid. He appeared to be made of living rock. His upper body resembled Blackwell’s, only younger, while the lower half was that of the dragon.

The Blackwell-hybrid cast a spell at the person closest to him, which was Elkin. The magic began to encase him in stone, but through sheer force of will Elkin broke free on his own. Linda used her grappling-hook/axe to pull herself into range of the giant being. Every cut she made caused more of that blue and gold substance to spill out, as if it were his blood. Even Linda’s axe seemed to accept it as a substitute for blood, and was filled by the liquid. We eventually figured out that this stuff that the dragon bled out was a pure form of mana, one that was somehow uncorrupted. Ichibod referred to it as ‘ether’

This pure mana seemed to have some powerful properties, which may have saved us. When Elkin charged the dragon hybrid, his dragon half opened up into a second mouth, which bit down on Elkin, leaving deep bloody wounds. When Elkin retaliated, some of the mana splashed onto his wounds, and they began healing on their own.

Blackwell began casting a sickeningly familiar spell, disintegrate. The green beam hit Elkin square in the chest, but the mana that had spilled onto him seemed to protect him from the worst of it. Compared to what I’ve heard that spell can do, it was blessedly underwhelming.

Linda didn’t waste time attacking again. This time when the mana-blood spilled out onto her, an ethereal tiger patterned armor appeared around her.

Unlike the others I didn’t get in close enough for the stuff to splash on me, so I never experienced the effects first-hand. Instead, I went with a long distance spell I’ve grown fond of: elemental assessor. I called on the four orbs of elemental power, and this time the acidic orb was the one that stuck.

Unfortunately Nel and Ichibod had less luck than the rest of us. Nel went to attack with his ranseur, but his attacks bounced off Blackwell’s stone-like skin. Ichibod tried to use one of his spell-like hexes on him, but it didn’t seem to have an effect.

Blackwell lifted his enormous axe up and a mass of the ether formed inside of it. He slammed it on the ground and suddenly we were engulfed in fire as lava burst from cracks in the ground. Only Unae, Theo, and Ichibod were far enough away to avoid the molten rock.

Fortunately, a moment later the acid orb from elemental assessor had recharged. Acid splashed onto Blackwell’s rocky skin, giving me an opening to slip closer and begin healing everyone of their burns.

Unae and Linda both decided to try gaining more power from the ether in their own ways. Unae stepped into one of the pools and took a small drink before shooting Blackwell from in the pool of magical liquid, allowing the energizing effects of the ether to empower her shots.

Linda took a more…Linda approach. She dug her hands into one of the dragon-hybrid’s wounds and ripped out a chunk of almost jelly looking ether, which she proceeded to take a bite out of. Afterwards she channeled magic through her axe using the ether as a conduit. Her hands became bathed in fire and acid, and with a punch she transferred the burning magical energy to the Blackwell-dragon.

Blackwell went to retaliate with another spell, but Linda and Elkin took the opening to attack, breaking his concentration. His rock-like body began cracking and crumbling in places. But it was also growing. The ether began glowing violently as what was left of Blackwell expanded up higher than we could see. Elkin expressed that we needed to hurry and cut him down. The others agreed. Linda and Meinus began climbing. I cast greater angelic aspect and flew after Linda. Ichibod followed on his broom, and somehow Theo turned into a griffin again and followed with Unae and Elkin in tow. With the stone exterior gone, his entire body was now made up of the gelatin-like ether, which was expanding at an alarming rate. Blackwell’s human body, now normal sized, was sticking out of the blue and gold substance where the head of the hybrid creature had originally been. He was unconscious from a spell Ichibod cast on him.

I went to help finish the job, but had a moment of hesitation. I had a feeling that this needed to be Linda’s fight. I asked her if she thought she could finish this, and when she affirmed that she would I cast bull’s strength on her to give her an edge.

Linda surprised me after that. I can’t believe Linda’s whims can still surprise me, but she really took me by surprise this time. First she began using the claws given to her by the tiger-like armor to begin digging into part of the dragon’s body. When she was waist deep in the goo, she stuck her claws into it and began trying to take over the expanding ether-dragon through sheer force of will. As she did, she told me to start praying, to ask Sarenrae for guidance in how to save King Blackwell, and she asks Unae to talk to him, to try to get through to him. I was almost shocked speechless. Her goal from the moment we met her had always been to overthrow and eventually kill King Blackwell. We’d since learned that he wasn’t always the monster he was now. Despite this, I never expected Linda of all people to extend a hand of forgiveness to her father. I did as Linda requested, seeking Sarenrae’s guidance. As I did, Ichibod released his sleep spell on Blackwell and Unae tried to talk to him. He begged her to kill him and end this insanity he’d been drowned in for so long.

Linda refused. She wrest control of the dragon from him. The blue and golden goop began melting away, and Blackwell’s body fell from the substance. Everything went white again, and a moment later we were back in the room with the captive dragon and Blackwell’s broken human body.

With his dying breath, King Blackwell told Linda to use the key to free the great dragon and end its suffering, as well as the suffering of their country that had been a slave to mana for too long.

The moment life left him, Linda went for the lock, without hesitation. Before she could reach the lock, however, we heard Clyde’s voice, coming from the small tablet Linda had been receiving messages on. He begged Linda not to use the key, telling her that the country would last no more than a few months without the mana. Upon hearing this, Ichibod pleaded with Linda to reconsider as well, to at least wait until they had an alternate energy or a plan to evacuate. Linda didn’t listen. She refused to let the mana poison Blackwell for any longer, or for the dragon to continue suffering for the sake of technological advancement. In her own words, she couldn’t allow the city to run on hatred any longer. Linda—Queen Linda—undid the lock. The machines shut down, the tubes and chains fell from the dragon’s body, and the dragon died at Linda’s feet. She had decided her country’s fate.

While I feel Linda made the right choice, Ichibod was understandably upset. He asked us to go ahead without him. We returned to the throne room and had the elevator begin its slow ascent back up to the castle. There I started working on my next entry, but that was about the time that Linda took my old journal from me and ripped out the remaining pages for her speech.