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laladellakang · 3 years ago

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She Has Seven Bodyguards - 1/2

enhypen 8th female member masterlist

wattpad | open requests / ask della!

(italics dialogue = english)

connected to ‘she’s hard to compete with’

requested by anonymous!

slight warning = i am not a deobi sooo i greatly apologise if their personalities aren't accurate

The 2020 SBS Gayo Daejeon.

Enhypen was invited to the event not even a month after their debut, it was truly an honour.

It brought a lot of attention to the group, many idols were curious about them. They were invited shortly after debuting, they were BigHit Labels' (now Hybe Labels) new group, they were all visuals and they have one female member among seven boys.

There were lots of criticism within the industry about why Della was placed in the group, but none of those people watched I-Land or knew about Alice. She wasn't supposed to be the only girl.

Hybe was unbothered, though. Della was a gem and it was proven by how popular Enhypen already is. Bang PD's vision during the start of I-Land came true, they had successfully debuted a co-ed group.

Tonight, Enhypen has to mentally prepare themselves.

Unlike MAMA, Gayo Daejeon provides rooms for all the attendees, making it easier for idols to stumble across each other. They might have to meet so many seniors.

The female idols attending were excited to catch a glimpse of the group. The girls within their age range, especially.

The older ones were just curious of the sole female member while the younger ones wanted to see how the group's visuals looked like in real life and if possible, introduce themselves.

The male idols were just as excited, if not more. When people say Della brought so many male viewers to I-Land, they didn't realise that idols were included as well.

So many people wanted to get to know the group more, but who is brave enough to make a move?

We have a girl who's hard to compete with and her seven bodyguards. How was anyone going to break through?

'But every group, including us, does skinship and we aren't dating.'

'She was also like that with everyone in I-Land. I'm sure that's just the way she is. She's a clingy person.'

'That means she has seven brothers, though. That's also a massive struggle. They might be very protective.'

'She's not a kid, she can make her own decisions. If she doesn't want me then so be it, we can be friends,' were among the thoughts that went through a few of the male idols' minds, but in the end, all but one decided on staying safe.

A lot of idols came to Enha's waiting room to introduce themselves to the newly debuted group and Della found herself get starstruck by all of them, lightly fangirling to the boys once the artists leave.

But the people who have visited them so far (besides TXT) are all third generations, so none of them had any romantic intentions.

Then came the fourth-gen female idols, who definitely came for the boys and used Della as an excuse, but that story is for another time.

Enha sighed after meeting the leaders of Treasure. The boys from relief and Della from.. well.. new human interactions.

As well as from meeting one of her favourite groups, of course.

She was about to open her mouth to fangirl when a knock interrupted them once again.

Three heads popped out from the side of the entrance. It was The Boyz's Sangyeon, Juyeon and Eric.

"Hello!" Enha bowed and greeted. The three did the same as they walked into the room.

"We're The Boyz," Sangyeon introduced when they were done greeting. "We wanted to congratulate you on your debut as well as on your amazing performance, you’re really great," he applauded.

"You guys also did that stunt- the one where you did a flip and dropped- yeah, I know how scary that is. You did amazing," Juyeon added, referring to Jungwon and Della’s stunt.

"Ah yes, thank you so much. I saw your stunt on Road to Kingdom, I hope we did it justice," Della said shyly. She really loves that performance. The Boyz's choreography is always so smooth.

"Oh, you were really good," Eric smiled at her, leaning a little bit towards where she stood. "Della, right?" he knows who she is, he's an Eggie. That's how he knew about her being fluent in English.

"Yeah. Eric, right?" she asked back with a smile.

"You know my name?" he asked with an excited tone and a slight tint in his cheeks.

"You know my name?" Della emphasized on the 'you' with a small chuckle.

"We all watched I-Land," Eric proudly told Enha, pointing towards himself and his hyungs.

"Oh, really?" Jay said in a surprised tone. He knew that he had to say something, anything. It was driving him nuts.

From the way Eric was acting, it was clear that he had a crush on Della. His eyes barely left her and he was leaning towards her a lot.

Jay was trying so hard to not say anything stupid. He had to respect his seniors.

"Yes, we even voted for you guys," Sangyeon told them, which was responded with Enha's 'wah's and 'thank you's.

"I voted for you every week," Eric whispered to Della when his hyungs were busily complimenting the Enha boys. He was careful to not to get too close and make her uncomfortable.

"Woah, really? Thank you so much," her grin widened.

"You're really good. It's not hard to like you," he's doing it.

"Aish," Della lightly punched his shoulder, earning a chuckle from him.

She felt Riki, who was beside her, scoot closer when he realised what was happening.

"Hey um, I know it's sudden but do you think we can get to know each other more and exchange contacts?" oh he just went for it.

Della felt a few eyes turn to her. Without looking, she knows that it's most likely the English line.

"Ah but- I'm actually kind of.. seeing someone right now. I'm really sorry," she said in a low voice and looked at him apologetically. Fortunately, she was audible enough for the members, and Heeseung, Jay and Jake mentally sigh in relief.

"That's fine, we can still be friends," Eric assured. 'Dammit,' he thought. 'I should have known. It would've been a miracle if someone like her was single.'

"Yes, that's right," she was glad that he was so respectful. "Do you have your phone with you? Mine is still with the staff."

He unlocked his phone and handed it over to her once he opened the contacts app. She quickly typed her number in and passed it back.

She felt eyes on her again. This time, she had a feeling it was Jungwon, Sunghoon, Sunoo and Riki. In other words, the non-English line.

They knew Della wasn't dumb. They knew that Della knew that Eric was trying to get with her. So why did she give him her number?

"Well we better get going, you guys are going to have a long road back to Seoul," Sangyeon said after he saw his maknae succeed in getting Della's number.

"If you guys want to talk to us or have someone else to talk to, just ask Della-ssi for our number. Eric will give it to her," Juyeon added, patting Eric's shoulder. He was secretly signaling that he was proud of him.

"Thank you so much," Heeseung leaded. He was feeling really happy after hearing Della's words. Damn right she's seeing someone.

"Good luck with everything," Della smiled softly and bowed, the other members following suit.

"Thank you so much, good luck with everything, too," Eric replied with a bow as well before he left with his members.

"Man, congratulations!" Juyeon jostled him once they were away from the room.

"Ah no.. She said she was seeing someone. I told her that we could still be friends, though," Eric sighed.

The Enha members aren't very open with their relationship (for obvious reasons). Apart from their managers, Bang PD, their driver and their most trusted friends, no one knows of this polyamorous romance. They haven't actually made it official, too.

So when the three seniors left, everyone just quickly packed their stuff to head to the rented van for privacy.

Jay, Jake and Heeseung were all at ease, knowing of the rejection. They were being really clingy, too.

Sunoo, Sunghoon, Riki and Jungwon, on the other hand, were very eager. They wanted to ask for an explanation as soon as possible.

The four boys were confused to see Heeseung speaking to Della in a baby voice, Jay wrapping his arms around her, and Jake calling her 'babe,' 'baby,' and 'wifey' more times than usual, but they just assumed that they were equally as jealous and were portraying it in a possessive, clingy way.

Jungwon worried that people would be suspicious but he thought that the interaction could pass as a 'Della is our baby' kind of thing.

As for Jake.. Well everyone jokes that they're married anyway.

Della knew that she had to assure them, so when they arrive at the van, she chose to sit in the only three-seater seat in the back. In between Jungwon and Riki.

"Guys," she held both of their hands after the door closed. "I told him that I was seeing someone and he said we can still be friends," she explained calmly.

"Oh my God," Sunghoon turned to look out of the window from both relief and embarrassment.

"Why was I so mad for, then?" Sunoo whined, resting his head on the glass.

"That's why you guys are so giddy," Jungwon sighed, referring to his other members.

"We really wanted to tell you but there were so many people," Jake said.

"-and you were in such a hurry, I couldn't even pull you over to whisper it," Jay added with a small chuckle.

"I was so confused! I'm sure Lala knows he was flirting but why did she give him her number like that?" Sunghoon looked back at his girl.

"Seriously- he was saying stuff like 'it's not hard to like you,' oh my God I was loosing my mind," Jay placed a hand over his face.

"He said that?!" Sunoo gasped and looked at Della.

"Guys, guys. We can stop talking about him now," Della smiled. She finds jealous Enha so adorable. They never once blame her if someone likes her and she's so grateful for that.

She felt Riki poke her thigh and turned her head to him. Without saying anything, she interlocked her arms with his and placed her head on his shoulder.

"You know what we should talk about though! How TWO groups went over to our room to literally flirt with you guys and disguised it as a 'if Della needs help, we're here,' like what the fuck was that," Della said aggressively, making the boys laugh.

"You scared them off though! We were really awkward, we didn't know what to do but you really saved the day," Heeseung said, followed by the boys' sound of approval.

"It felt like high school or something," everyone laughed at Jake's comment.

"No one makes my men uncomfortable like that," Della said in a baby voice with a pout. As usual, Heeseung muttered a small 'cute.'

"That's our Lala," Jungwon said while rubbing his thumb on the back of Della's hand.

The van was silent afterwards, the fatigue finally getting to the group.

"I'm sleeping with Lala tonight," Riki blurted out.

Just like that, it was chaos once again.

#kang della #8th member of enhypen #enhypen 8th member #enhypen added member #enhypen eigth member #enhypen female addition #enhypen female member #enhypen ff #enhypen reactions #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x oc #enhypen oc #enhypen recs #enhypen requests #female!enhypen member #kpop oc #kpop added member #enhypen female oc

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limitless-rose · 2 years ago

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Stray Kids as random side comments on my dream journal entries:

Prepare for a whole lot of nonsense. Though for some of these, writing the whole dream would have been funnier. Oh well. (also excuse my language, I don't mean to swear like a sailor every two sentences, that's just how I am 😔)

TW (just in anyyy case): mentions of guns, stunts, police force, smut, and ofc swearing

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

.ೃ࿐ Bang Chan:

Meanwhile, back in the SUV, Chan tells me to sit in the back and lock the doors.

And then he pulls a gun out of nowhere and hands it over to me 'in case something happens'

And then he gets out of the car, I-

Like, sorry, what

W H A T

SIR, I'M REALLY MUCH MORE CONCERNED ABOUT YOU AND YOUR DYING FRIENDS IN THERE

idek how to shoot, what do you expect of me 😭

.ೃ࿐ Lee Know:

And then I teleported?? jumped?? FLEW?? all the way to my home's roof

LIKE EXCUSE ME WHAT THE FUCK

And then I jumped down from the roof to my balcony

Extreme parkour shit

btw it was like 4am

I DO STUNTS AND SHIT AT 4AM TO GET BACK TO MY ROOM, FFS NONI

(honorable mention, I once dreamt that Minho was standing in my balcony making out with a random girl and I was just staring from inside my room like 🧍‍♀️🥲 okay then...)

.ೃ࿐ Changbin:

So Hyunjin went to hide behind the fridge

And I was going to hide under the bed but they broke the door down before I could get all the way through

Thankfully they didn't find Hyunjin

bUT THEY FOUND ME

THEY FOUND MY SORRY FAT ASS UNDER THE BED

.ೃ࿐ Hyunjin:

So after getting in our hotel room, my ex went to the convenience store to grab some condoms

But unfortunately I woke up the moment he came back from the store and we didn't have sex 😒😒

EVEN MY DREAMS HATE ME ISTG 😭😭

STOP COCKBLOCKING YOURSELF NONI 😩

.ೃ࿐ Han:

*friend* was looking for a jacket

But for some reason the only ones in shock were for kids

So we sat at the candy store and ordered ice cream

Also he (the friend) had to take some medicine or smth

So then the barman took some herbal syrup or some shit like that and poured it all over his (the friend's) ice cream

.ೃ࿐ Felix:

And she defended me and somehow made them shut up

Bro I'm sad

Imagine having a sweet girlfriend who protects you from mean people's comments and opinions like that 😭😭

Why is my bi ass so single?

.ೃ࿐ Seungmin:

And as usual, the 5 of us got in the car and started driving while music was blasting

Bro, it was like a color changing car or smth

Bc istg, at first it was a red vintage looking cabriolet

And later it turned into a black SUV or something like that, idk anything about cars

Istg I can't comprehend this concept

Noni what are you making up again

(btw yes, that's the same dream as the Chan one)

.ೃ࿐ I.N:

Then, suddenly, a police car drove up to our house

And one of the dudes in the car pulls out one of these 📢📣???

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY CALLED??

(I later remembered they're called megaphone but at that moment I was confused)

And they YELLED at us that the house would be 'investigated'

aka THEY'D FUCKING BREAK IN AND ARREST ANYONE THEY SAW ON THE SPOT FOR NO DAMN REASON

(that's part of the Changbin dream)

#stray kids memes #stray kids #stray kids as #kpop memes #kpop stuff #skz as #skz #noni's dreams

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atinymonster · 4 years ago

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[KINGDOM: LEGENDARY WAR] episode seven

ateez 9th member.

➴ taglist: @banhmi07, @jiyeons-closet, @jaeminpeachy, @mochibabycakes

➴ masterlist

when jiyu wasn’t seen in any of the previews,

fans were scared and lowkey shocked since they thought she wasn’t in any of the subunits

until the 120 second kingdom contacts came out and she was in the thumbnail with...

peniel!! :D

meaning she was in the dance unit

as she should because have you heard of her performances from rounds one and two???

“What do you mean I’m scary?” Jiyu asked with a pout. She never pinned herself as intimidating, but apparently the few murmurs of agreement from the others watching on the side.

“Not in a bad way!” Peniel quickly explained. “It’s just that you’re so different now compared to when I see you on stage that it’s just scary sometimes.”

“Ahh,” she hummed, understanding what he meant. People have always commented on her stage presence, but this was the first time someone told her outright that it was intimidating.

“I even mentioned it on Dive Studios the other day...”

“Eh? Really?”

“Yeah, Eric started laughing at me until I showed him your fancam from the first round,” Peniel chuckled, recalling how Eric’s face morphed into amazement that “such energy came from a small girl”, so he said.

She suddenly felt shy at the thought of senior idols from Dive Studios watching her fancam. Cupping her pink cheeks in her hands, she heard Wooyoung’s loud voice ring throughout the room.

“AHH Baby Monster’s shy!”

when changmin started announcing rankings,

she was surprised they ranked second overall

baby was just happy they ranked in the top three :((

when changmin introduced super junior’s shindong and donghae as two of the special judges out of the 33,

she gasped and went :o (like literally all the boys)

she was really anticipating all of the stages since it wasn’t everyday they could collab with each other

but she had a dilemma since her boyfriend was in the opposite team and in the rap stage :((

she remembered sunwoo fanboying over bobby to her when she visited his dorm for his birthday :((

but she also found it really ironic that sunwoo and hwiyoung were performing together after all that happened

either way, she jammed out to their beat and lyrics

when wooyoung said hwiyoung was sexy and jongho went “i told you” she did a double take

“oOoOh jongho”

“i’m surprised you managed to save hwiyoung from sunwoo” (yeosang)

“...it took a while, but i managed”

(but that didn’t stop sunwoo from being the tiniest bit of savage towards hwiyoung when they were preparing—)

(and why hwiyoung felt the need to use formal language with sunwoo—)

cheered so hard for the mayfly rap team

she was already mesmerized when she watched their rehearsals, but the actual performance was just breathtaking

“that’s our leader!!” 🥺

when minhyuk made his grand entrance she went :O

she made sure to not hit anyone out of excitement with her left hand since it had the claw rings on them and she didn’t want to accidentally stab someone

she pat hongjoong’s head when he came back to the waiting room :((

(she’s the only one he allows to do that because he likes happy jiyu)

please when it was the dance unit’s turn she really stood up and started stretching even though they go after it’s one

but she found it’s one’s dance performance so pretty and elegant

“they all look so pretty!”

it seemed to fly by because before she knew it, it was mayfly’s turn

she actually wasn’t as nervous this time because she had a duo part with felix :D

but that didn’t mean she felt pressure

since they also recorded the song with their own voices, she was also able to showcase her rapping in the beginning (after felix’s part)

please, everyone wasn’t expecting her to sound so different when she raps 😭

her and felix’s duo part when they made eye contact? everyone ate that up

because they both looked so immersed in the performance and the feral look in both their eyes

and she lifted her left hand to accentuate the accessories on her fingers

peeked over her shoulder real quick to look at felix and wooyoung’s stunt before silently cheering that they safely succeeded

please, after the performance and her ending fairy moment,

she became the junior artists’ idol crush right then and there

even the other judges were impressed with her energy and power

but that persona went away as fast as it made its appearance because when the staff gave the okay, her earlier facial expression dropped and she lowkey started tearing up when they started to cheer and gather for a group hug

“oh no baby monster’s crying!”

“n-no i’m not!”

(thanks for exposing her wooyoung—)

“why why why?”

got crushed my mama seonghwa’s hug as he asked why she was tearing up :((

“Jiyu was pretty worried about the performance,” Wooyoung explained, patting her knee. “She was worried about not being able to keep up and it kind of stressed her out since she didn’t want to be the reason we lose points. It got to the point where she was the last one out of the practice room almost everyday.”

She nodded along to what he was saying, remembering all those nights when she stayed late to go over the choreography over and over again until she was satisfied.

"Don’t worry, our maknae did so well!” Peniel reassured, turning around to shoot her a grin. “She killed it out there!”

A small smile appeared on her face at everyone’s attempts to reassure her. because she was genuinely worried about falling behind or even lacking at certain parts of the performance. But those worries were quickly dispelled.

“We all managed to become really close with one another within this time period, and whether we win or lose, there’ll definitely be no regrets since we gave it our all. And even though after this, our time as a Mayfly will be over and we go back to competing against each other again, but we’ll always be cheering each other on,” she finished with a small nod.

Everyone nodded, agreeing with her words. They all appreciated the time they had together, even though it was endless, tiring hours of perfecting their performance.

“Who said this decides when the journey ends?” Peniel joked, earning whoops of “ooh’s” and agreement.

Jiyu chuckled at the man’s hype. “If that’s the case, it looks like this mayfly lives on for eternity!”

in conclusion, she grew really attached to the mayfly dance unit 🥺

bonus: peniel managed to get over his intimidation of her after spending time with her and realizing she was just a kid (that turns into a monster whenever she has to peform) :D

#9th member of ateez #kpop oc #female oc #kpop female oc #ateez oc #kpop addition #female addition #kpop female addition #ateez addition #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff

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aj28gaming · 4 years ago

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How post-game SDR2 should've been like

BTW THIS SHIT IS RUSHED AND DEFINITELY NOT MY BEST WORK, JUST GO TO MY AO3 FOR SLIGHTLY BETTER WORKS

https://archiveofourown.org/users/AJcooper28/works

"I...almost got Junko to take over everyone's bodies and spread despair to the entire world."

He finally said it. He finally admitted it

After realizing everything, from how Nagito was right all along to how everyone else was and is far far worse than Nagito could ever be

And that includes Hajime, who just admitted to being the worst of everyone on this island.

Because he just now admitted to Nagito, his friend that he hated and abandoned throughout the killing game all because of a misunderstanding, that he almost caused the worst nightmare Nagito could ever dream of

Total, utter, despair. To the entire world

Again.

It took some time for Hajime to accept it, to accept, with the help of his multiple analytical talents of course, that he was probably the worst possible friend and person anyone can ask for.

Sure, Nagito was "weird," but boy was he right about almost anything.

His "hope" is truly the literal definition of hope.

As his "Ultimate literate" and "Ultimate English Major" would say,

hope /hōp/ 📷Learn to pronounce

noun 1. a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. "he looked through her belongings in the hope of coming across some information" Similar: aspiration, desire, wish, expectation, ambition, aim, plan, dream, daydream, pipe dream, longing, yearning, craving, hankering 2. ARCHAIC a feeling of trust. "our private friendship, upon hope and affiance whereof, I presume to be your petitioner" verb want something to happen or be the case. "he's hoping for an offer of compensation"

Everything checks out

No wonder Nagito called Peko Fuyuhiko's hope. No wonder Nagito said that Teruteru's hope was to see his mom and save the culinary family legacy.

No wonder Nagito said Mikan murdered for despair, after all her beloved was Junko Enoshima, the ultimate despair herself.

It's crazy how right Nagito was all along, how much empathy and understanding he has had for every one of their classmates.

It's just that, sadly, no one understood how right he was all this time.

Not even Hajime himself.

He always thought Nagito couldn't be trusted, that he was always scheming something or up to no good. Trying to plan something to mess with their heads or trick them once again.

Once again...

Hajime would laugh. Because, now, he finally realized how wrong he was with that mindset.

And he only developed that mindset after the first trial.

And what did Nagito do during the first trial?

Everyone thought Nagito tried to kill Byakuya out of pure insanity but failed thanks to Teruteru killing him instead. That's why everyone started to change their perception of him.

And what made it worse was that "maniacal laugh" he did during the trial, it amplified everyone's fear and hatred of him even more.

But that couldn't be farther from the truth.

You see, and Hajime has just found this out thanks to his observations and ultimate talents, Nagito doesn't laugh out of joy or happiness. No, not at all.

In fact, he laughs when he gets surprised, not because he is having fun. And considering the situation he was in, from indirectly causing two murders to being ganged up on by everyone else because of being suspected as the culprit, who wouldn't go crazy and stressed at a predicament like that?

He wasn't enjoying any of that one bit, in fact, it was quite the opposite.

Thinking about it now, it's starting to become painfully clearer. Nagito wasn't at all enjoying the killing game, he was terrified. He hated it more than anyone else, it was his personal hell after all.

That's why he kept clinging to hope. After all, it's normal for a person to cling to a shining hope in a despairful situation. A beam of light, a tiny spec of happiness.

A good ending. That's what Nagito wanted.

No wonder he kept talking about hope, he was desperate for it, everyone was.

But god did they mistreat Nagito.

And back to what Nagito actually did during the first trial.

You see, he wasn't actually trying to get anyone killed.

He was trying to become the first victim himself

It may seem weird at first because that would mean kickstarting the killing game, but it makes sense the more you think about it.

The killing game would've started regardless, and the murders and trials after the first prove that.

And Nagito knew this, which added to the reasons he was paranoid during the start. It was his personal hell, after all, seeing death surround him and his classmates once more.

As if his luck cycle hasn't already tormented him enough...

And so, that's why Nagito did it. He knew that no matter what, someone would've killed someone

He just wanted it to be him and no one else. So no one else has to die like the victims of his horrid luck cycle.

Damn his selflessness...

And that includes his stunt during the 5th trial.

Who can blame a guy, who just found out he is stuck with a bunch of terrorists and remnants of despairs that terrorized the entire world for god knows how long, for wanting those very people dead?

Those very people, that tortured, murdered, manipulated, brainwashed, blackmailed, amputated their bodies, for the sake of despair.

Who wouldn't want them dead? Who wouldn't go crazy at that revelation?

No one. No one at all.

Not even Hajime. After all, he did go crazy after finding out that very same fact that Nagito found out.

So crazy that he almost did the complete opposite of what Nagito tried to do and nearly got everyone to get taken over by Junko and to spread despair again.

To torture, murder, manipulate, blackmail...

All that to happen again. All because Hajime didn't want to die.

So much that he was about to commit the biggest mistake in human history, causing everyone's greatest fears to come to life once again.

All because of his stupidity, his uselessness.

Maybe he really was just a useless reserve course student after all...

No wonder Nagito hated everyone, no wonder Nagito hated Hajime the most.

Who wouldn't?

Damn Hajime's selfishness...

Damn him for thinking about himself instead of everyone else.

Damn him for not being there for his first friend who was the most stressed and vulnerable throughout the killing game.

Damn him for his uselessness, his stupidity.

Damn him...

And so, that's why Hajime admitted it. Despite knowing that what he almost did would've caused Nagito's worst fears to come to life again.

Despite knowing that this would give Nagito even more reason to hate him and despise him for the rest of his life.

Despite knowing how much despair Nagito is already in after finding out he is still trapped with the very people he hates and fears the most

Despite all this, Hajime still pushed himself to be honest. Because he couldn't take it anymore.

After everything he and the others have done to Nagito, how they treated him like a psycho when in reality he hated the killing game more than all of them combined, which was the main reason he went crazy, Nagito deserved to know the truth.

To know how despairful and horrible Hajime really is.

And so he said it, and the boy's response from the inside of his cottage was to be expected of course.

"What?" he barely croaked out, of course too shocked to even understand what he just heard.

Despite his heart-wrenching guilt already clawing the back of his mind into the deep crevices of hell, where he truly belonged at this point, he still pushed on.

"I..."

"You could've caused despair!?" It was louder this time, the interrupting scold almost hurtful and loud enough to make Hajime want to cover his ears and walk away, to pretend like none of this was happening.

"I-"

"Do you...have any idea what you could have done!?" Nagito took a quick breath in the middle, he was hyperventilating.

Makes sense, after all, it's not every day that you get told by your supposed "friend" that he almost caused everyone's nightmares and despairs to come to life by a press of a button.

It's not every day that you find out that same "friend" of yours would've picked causing terrorism and mindless torture to spread throughout the entire world instead of suicide.

It's not every day that you find out this "friend" of yours, who you helped and cared about the most throughout the killing game, would've caused you the most despair and trauma that your luck has ever given you in your entire life.

It's not every day that the person you care about the most, is also the person that would hurt you the most.

And Hajime knew this. Boy did he know this.

Which explains the protruding and continuous sweat dripping so much that they began to sting his eyes, the aching chest covering a heart beating so fast that he wouldn't be surprised if he passed out on the spot.

But he couldn't, he had to push through.

After all, it's all his fault. And he had to take responsibility.

And Nagito definitely deserved to know everything.

But still, it didn't stop him from facing away slightly, like a kid scared of getting punished by their infuriated mom.

"You...you could've caused despair! No! Complete terrorism! Everyone and everything would've been in total chaos and despair all because of you! You...you monster! You absolute monster!"

Every word followed by a broken and betrayed sob. Despite him being "prepared," it didn't stop Hajime from wanting to cry in shame and kill himself to just end all of this already.

"You...I...Why? Why would you do this?" Nagito begged, almost on the verge of tears.

"W-well...it's not like I went along with it in the end!" Hajime "reasoned."

Then, he realized his mistake far too late. Of course, it didn't matter if he did it or not, what matters is the fact that he considered the idea. And that fact couldn't be more true for Nagito.

So Hajime tried to backtrack his mistake, realizing soon after that his destiny was sealed, "Nagito, I didn't mean-"

"Do none of them matter? Countless people, murdered, tortured, manipulated into despair for despair, all because of you. Do they seriously not matter? You think it's okay just because you 'didn't do it in the end?' Of course not, just the fact that you considered it is horrifying enough!"

"WELL WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE!?" Hajime snapped, realizing too late that due to his impulsiveness and anger, he asked the dumbest question anyone could ask.

"WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IF-"

"I WOULD'VE SACRIFICED MYSELF!" Nagito snapped back.

"I WOULD'VE SACRIFICE MY EVER USELESS, DESPICABLE SELF NO QUESTIONS ASKED IF IT MEANT PREVENTING THE WORLD FROM TOTAL DESPAIR! I WOULD'VE GLADLY LAID MY LIFE DOWN, BE TORTURED ENDLESSLY IF IT MEANT SAVING THE WORLD FROM TOTAL ANNILATION!"

Nagito was breathing heavily now, so heavily it's practically an asthma attack mixed with tears and hyperventilation. Hajime could almost hear him trying to keep himself stable while his mental state continues to worsen the process.

His saliva spitting out of his mouth from him trying to breathe properly and lashing out in anger, agony, and betrayal.

Nagito was in tears so much that he almost can't see anything because of the number of tears accumulated in his eye sockets. He hated this, he hated this so much. It hurts him so much.

And what hurts him the most is that despite all of this, he still can't stop loving Hajime, he can't stop having him deep inside his heart...

(OKAY TO BE CONTINUED CUZ I NEED TO WORK ON OTHER SHIT BUT HERE IT IS IN CASE YOU GUYS WANNA READ ABOUT IT

I MIGHT CONTINUE OR FINISH THIS SOON)

#komahina #fanfic #angst #nagito komaeda #hajime hinata #nagito x hajime #post game #sdr2 komaeda #sdr2 spoilers #danganronpa sdr2 #sdr2 nagito #danganronpa #analysis kinda #boy did Hajime mess up big time

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wishingicouldfly · 4 years ago

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I've been actively blogging for more than six months, even though I've had a tumblr account for ten years. I started reading One Direction (specifically Larry) fanfiction about the same time.

Originally, I read exclusively canon compliant fiction--I was hungry for industry insider, what-could-have-happened narratives. But I've slowly branched out into other genres. I find fanfic--good fanfic--super calming. When I've had too much stunting, too much noise, I grab a fanfic and immerse myself. So I thought it was time to do a post about my favorites. Keep in mind, I'm terrible at cataloging, and I have over 150 bookmarks on my A03 Account, so this is by no means an exhaustive list.

I'm not including the classics like Tired, Tired Sea and Escapade. While I do love both of those (so well written), because a lot of people know about those already.

My all time favorites are by @helloamhere

1. The Multipicity of Powers - https://archiveofourown.org/works/28580229

Maybe in another universe he isn’t different. Maybe he hadn’t been given an impossible choice. Maybe he wouldn’t have lost everything and broken everything and then fallen impossibly, irrevocably in love with the first next thing that was kind. Maybe in that universe he doesn’t feel like he’s never breathing, always pretending, teaching the kids even though they all have to learn alone, trying hard not to read the headlines, and so afraid, every day, that he won’t be a good enough teammate to the superhero he can’t live without. He knows that love isn’t supposed to feel this way, slid secret under your skin like a surgical razor, an invisible war held close over the tender vein that keeps you alive. On the other hand, Louis wonders, had he ever known how to do it any other way?

Maybe there’s a universe where he doesn’t have to keep all his secrets on the inside.

But this isn’t that universe.

//an X-Men AU.

Me: I never thought I'd love a super hero 1D cross over, but this is so well done. The backstory, the pacing, the characterization, the friendship. Read it.

2. Saving Symphony Hall and it's prequel Night Out - https://archiveofourown.org/works/12633921

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

Me: The best sex scene I've ever read is in the prequel Night Out. Sexy, but tender. I love the characterizations in this duo--ABO but not traditional. Doesn't feel out of character.

3. Just Let Me -https://archiveofourown.org/works/11695350

The party was going well. So well, Niall had already sworn undying love to one multi-tiered chocolate cake, two friendly corgi-poodle mixes, Zayn’s hair, and the entire population of Los Angeles. So well, Zayn had only laughed and ruffled Niall’s hair and not even twitched towards a cigarette. So well, nearly everyone had spilled far past the boundaries of the night’s original plans, extracting bottles of vodka from the cabinets and losing a lot of clothes. Harry had proclaimed that he was finally going to throw a small and very grownup dinner party and of course here they were three hours later, fifty people half-naked in the pool. Soon to be full-naked, if Louis had to guess. Everybody in LA loved a heated pool. Everybody loved Harry.

Me: I love love love this. Harry is so gentle, and Louis is so stubborn and needy. It's ABO but subtle. I'll read this one again and again. It's comforting.

@HelloAmHere is one of the best writers I know--amazing stuff. I also love their werewolf story, but it's not finished, so I won't link it here.

Other favorites:

1. Seven Up by cherrystreet - https://archiveofourown.org/works/5828539

Very loosely based on the British TV show "The Up Series" and somewhat inspired by the song “Something I Need” by Onerepublic, we follow the lives of Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson in an interview setting every seven years. They fall apart and come together, their lives and emotions recorded. Harry calls it a time capsule. Louis calls it a pain in the arse.

Me: Trigger Warning, major character death. I literally SOBBED through the end of this. It was lovely and devastating. So good. But be warned.

2. Light, Spark and Fire series by @greenfeelings

Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.

Or, Louis and Zayn run a music label, Liam is Britain’s up-and-coming pop star, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down until he builds his own up, and Niall holds them all together without realising he does.

Me: A nice healthy three-parter. Characters you just want to live with for a while.

3. Relief Next to Me by dolce_piccante - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1117942

AU. What happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific Craigslist post? Fate, friendship, food, and maybe more.

Me: This one is super long, so be prepared when you dive in. It's got a lot of lovely bits, and some great smut.

4. 2012 'Verse by ashavahishta - https://archiveofourown.org/series/27601

Me: This is a five-parter and satisfies my love of canon compliant stories. It spans most of 2012 and into 2013, and illustrates the difficulties of Harry and Louis' relationship amid the band success and management disapproval.

5. Love After the End of the World by mercurial-madhouse (writing_practice) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/31251434/chapters/77248901

Society shattered when all electricity suddenly cut off across the globe, plunging the world into darkness. Now, Prometheus Industries is the sole remaining supply of power, a saving grace to those who survived Lights Out. As fugitives in no-man’s land struggling to break into Prometheus HQ, death lurks around every corner for Louis and Zayn. Things get complicated when a routine recon falls apart and Louis collides with Harry and his mates Niall and Liam, survivors with their own agenda.

When staying alive is already a constant battle, the deadliest weakness is to be in love. For Harry and Louis, finding each other sits on top of the endless list of What Else Could Go Wrong.

Me: Really unusual (as far as I can tell) end of the world story. I loved the characterizations of soul mates here at the end of the world.

6. Flightless Bird by audreyhheart - https://archiveofourown.org/works/6401653/chapters/14656807

AU where Louis Tomlinson is a principal dancer with The Royal Ballet. When his rival from ballet school, moody dance prodigy Harry Styles joins the company, old wounds are reopened and old passions reignited. During the company's production of Swan Lake the secret that doomed their love is finally revealed, but will it be too late?

Me: Trigger Warning, sexual assault (by an original character to a major character). This was a little brutal because I hated to see a broken Harry, but it was well written and has a happy ending.

7. Wear It Like A Crown by zarah5 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1816771/chapters/3900322

AU. As part of a team of fixers hired to handle a gay scandal in Buckingham Palace, Louis expects Prince Harry to be a lot of things—most notably a royally spoilt brat. Never mind that the very same Prince Harry used to star in quite a number of Louis' teenage fantasies.

Me: I loved Louis in this one--actually they are both pretty great. Scratch that, they are ALL pretty great.

8. Shake Me Down by AGreatPerhaps12 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/3331958/chapters/7285322

Harry's new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization.

Me: I don't like the self-hate here, but it was necessary for the story and H comes around. Found family vibe.

9. Gods & Monsters by Velvetoscar - https://archiveofourown.org/works/2090982/chapters/4550871

The instructions were simple: seduce and destroy Harry Styles. Not once did they discuss the option of Louis actually falling in love. So, naturally, that's exactly what he did.

Me: I loved Harry in this one. Louis gets there. I don't like Liam, but I don't think you're supposed to. Zayn is great.

10. Own the Scars by crinkle-eyed-boo (KimmieRocks) - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1010796

Louis has never felt like he was good enough: for his stepdad, for his life-long best friend, for the life he's supposed to want. After an accident that nearly costs him his life, Louis' parents send him to rehab where he’s forced to face his demons. On the long and difficult road to recovery, Louis must confront the truths he’s been avoiding about his future, his relationships, and his sense of self-worth. Because before he can love anyone else, he’s got to learn how to love himself first.

Me: Harry is lovely in this one. Trigger warning, substance abuse and near death.

11. Wild Love by purpledaisy - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1030904

AU: Two best friends try to date each other for forty days. It's supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated.

Me: I loved this way more than I thought I would. It's lovely and messy and I love it.

12. Victorian Boy by audreyhheart - https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosann1986/readings?page=6

Victorian AU. Harry the virgin Duke of Somerset knows little of love, while Louis the sly Duke of Warwick knows too much. When the two dukes come together for the Bilsdale fox hunt in York, Harry finds himself drawn into Louis' bed. But when secrets from Louis' dark past come to light, Harry fears that the fox isn't the only one being hunted.

Me: Historical fiction I didn't intend to love. I LOVE Harry in this one. LOTS of smut, so be warned.

13. Keep Me Closer by zanni_scaramouche - https://archiveofourown.org/works/30752633

Louis expects Harry to react poorly, maybe even file a formal complaint and that’s gonna suck ass but Louis won’t say shit cause he knows he deserves it, so he prepares an apology before Harry’s even turned around.

What he doesn’t expect is Harry to fucking drop.

Me: lovely, protective Louis just trying to do the right thing.

14. Turning Page by purpledaisy for SockstheDog

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11826345

AU: Harry Styles tries to get lost in a place he’s never been. Louis Tomlinson has been perfecting the art of being lost for years. What they don’t expect to find is each other.

Me: sweet love story. Niall owns a bar, and is pretty great.

15. Freedom Always Comes With a Price by Cyantific - https://archiveofourown.org/works/30278514/chapters/74624262

A shared dream brings them together onto the X-factor stage, but one decision changes Harry and Louis’ lives overnight. Thrust into a world of instant stardom, they're forced to live a lie to sustain their dreams, but years of living in the shadows and under strict management takes its toll.

With the bands impending hiatus, there’s no better time for change, so they think.

Desperate for a solution, they turn to an unlikely source with a radical plan. An unfortunate accident sets everything in motion, but not how they intended, leaving Louis’ memories altered, Harry broken-hearted and full of regret.

Can Harry figure out a way to fix everything? Will he even want to once he sees how Louis moved on after the hiatus? Will Louis ever find out the truth of their past and can he forgive Harry after all this time?

In the end, two friends find out that memories are elusive, trust is everything and love is the only antidote.

Me: Heartbreaking when they lose each other, but really good in the end.

16. Little Technicolor Things by scary_crow - https://archiveofourown.org/works/6025519/chapters/13821628

Louis is a poor writer and recent university graduate, depressed, anxious, and living in London when he meets Harry, an artist with a secret who likes to paint sunrises and pretty boys from California.

17. Hold You Now by solvetheminourdreams - https://archiveofourown.org/works/30253536/chapters/74556744

Three years ago, Harry Styles said goodbye to communications consultancy firm McQuiston Worldwide, leaving a life of travel and agency PR behind. When he accompanies his best friend to a family wedding across the Atlantic, he'll be forced to reopen old wounds and face his past—one that no one wants to hash out, but may just have to.

Me: Niall is great. They almost miss each other in this one, and you just want to bash them over the head. But they figure it out.

18. At Risk, I Fold by clare328 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/26542480

2015 is a stream of hotel rooms and whisky on the rocks, tired glances and touching hands under tables. It’s the bears and the bees under a rainbow sky, and Harry and Louis have to figure out how to grow up together, instead of apart.

Me: A canon compliant fic that feels like it could have really happened. Set in 2015. Lovely first chapter and scene where Harry writes If I Could Fly--i could read that chapter over and over.

19. Into The Blue by zarah5 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1035822/chapters/2065499

AU. In which Louis is Harry's scuba instructor and quite happy to provide the requested special treatment, pun fully intended. It can't be all that difficult to convince Harry that they're on the same page, right? Also, Niall and Liam may or may not be dating, and Zayn is surrounded by emotionally stunted idiots. He bears it with dignity.

Me: AKA the Scuba fic.

20. Tie Your Heart by ArcadianMaggie - https://archiveofourown.org/works/546688/chapters/973236

Harry grows wings.

Me: How can you not love a fic where Harry grows wings? Trigger warning: injury of a major character.

21. I think I'll end this here. My last and probably first favorite (read it more than once) is...

my heart is breathing for this moment in time by usedtothebeach - https://archiveofourown.org/works/934996/chapters/1820282

When Louis first saw Harry at the 2010 X Factor Auditions, he thought he was watching a peculiarly special stranger. But Harry has known Louis ever since he was five years old.

Because Louis has a rare genetic disorder that causes him to Time Travel to important moments in his past and in his future - and to Harry, always to Harry. When they're put into a band together, it seems like everything Harry has been waiting and wishing for has finally come true. Except for the small fact that Louis doesn't know that Harry is in love with him- that Harry's always been in love with him. Fate, it would seem, is just getting started.

A story about growing up and growing together, and the impossible love that makes it all worthwhile.

Me: I LOVED the Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, and I'm a huge fan of time travel, so this is right up my alley. It's really well done, weaving canon into fantasy and then going years forward in tme. I love everything about it. Great character development. Really good smut. Trigger warning, there's a little underage sex, so be aware. Anyway, LOVE this one so much.

I'll add to this but it's already longer than I meant it to be.

#fanfic #recommendations #fic suggestions #my favorites #Larry fics #I love the love

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faithinthefuture28 · 5 years ago

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Larry songs timeline & what it tells us about the evolution of their relationship

**These are all just my interpretations but the more I listen to the music they wrote, the more it all fits together. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING “AUTOBIOGRAPHICALLY” AND “FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE”

I deffo missed some songs but these stood out to me:

2013

L-Strong: Love isn’t easy (waves trying to break it) but what we have means something and it’s worth fighting for. read: love is only for the brave (Think of how much love that’s been wasted...there’s nothing i’m running from...i don’t care, I’m not scared of love) And we bring out the best in each other so lets not throw this away (i’d do anything to save it...when i’m not with you i’m weaker).

H-Happily: I want to fight for us too bc we’re on fire and our love is powerful af. ik we have to do stunts and stuff (and if (s)he feels my traces in your hair, sorry love but I don’t really care) but what we have is insane and fuck everyone else bc you’re MINE and i’m YOURS at the end of the day (i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep). Together, we’re magic so just be with me so happily

H-Something Great: ****this song is very straightforward so i won’t explain it much***** (i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i dont have to keep imagining... We’re better off together here tonight). Written as a longing for what could be if they dont have to suppress the relationship. (script was written...want to rip it all to shreds) Louis’ response (you’re all I want so much it’s hurting) basically says “it’s not too much to ask babe, i want it too.” This has the kind of longing that ‘wouldn’t it be nice- beach boys’ which Harry has admitted is kind of a theme song.

L-Through the Dark: I know all this bs we’re going through is taking a toll on you and hurts you and i hate seeing you upset (you tell me that your sad...you tell me that you’re hurt and youre in pain and i can see your head is held in shame...i just wanna see you smile again) but I will do everything physically possible to protect you from any pain bb (i’d never let you fall and break your heart, if u wanna cry or fall apart, i’ll be there to hold ya). We’re going through this together and I will take on any responsibility needed to keep you happy. I’M WILLING TO GO THROUGH HELL TO FIGHT FOR US HARRY LOVE (entire chorus basically).

L-Better than Words: holy fuck our love is amazing can’t even describe it can i just sing to you foreva love u babycakes

L-Why don’t we go there: what if...we just forgot about the world and escaped and enjoyed each others love and rode the high??? Also sex

2014

L-Ready to Run: *******Followup to Why Don’t We Go There*********** But this time let’s escape for real bc (there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time). Like i’m ready to get out of here and it could just be us living happily ever after (this time i’m ready to run). Honestly nothing else makes sense (without you i’ll never make it out alive...wherever you are is the place i belong). I know what i want out of life and IT’S YOU HARREH (i want to be free and i wanna be yours, i will never look back).

L-Steal My Girl: all u thirsty hoes find someone else bc Harry is MY pretty princess. Srsly ask his family. But you can still admire how he looks in those jeans. We all do. You know the ones

L-No Control: boy u fine, let’s do what lovers do IN THE MORNING. bc we can. also you own me and i am urs

L-Clouds: WE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE HARD SO WHY ARE YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH (you dont like it complicated...but love is never ever simple...you are tired of all the changes, but love is always always changing). We could be great yo, just keep fighting (if we’re never coming back down, we’ll looking down on the clouds...we go and we go and we dont stop)

H-Where do Broken Hearts Go: IM SORRY LOU BABY YOURE EVERYTHING (rest of my crimes dont come close the look on your face when i let you go... the taste of your lips...is at the top of the list of things i want). H&L’s call and response at the end is basically forgiveness and acknowledgment (come on baby come and get me out, come on baby cuz i need you now)

H-Two Ghosts: *****was written around this time according to Harry******. This is fucking hard yo. We’re drained and exhausted and idk how much more we can fight for this... (it’s not you and it’s not me...sounds like something that i used to feel). That infatuation and electricity and hope that fueled our younger selves isn’t really there anymore and i’m just tired man (we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat, we’re not who we used to be...this was all we used to need). We’re empty vessels going through the motions (same eyes blue, couple more tattoos). AND WE AREN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATING (we dont say what we really mean).

2015

H&L-Perfect: so what if... we get rid of the pressure of forever? What if we just have fun doing the stupid shit we love and makes us feel alive (trouble up in hotel rooms, secret little rendezvous, things you know that we shouldn’t do). Like we won’t be out of each others’ lives, I’m still around and we can find comfort in each other and even mess around here and there (I can be the one you love from time to time). Remember how we used to be young and EXCITED (when i first saw you from across the room, i could tell that you were curious) let’s get that energy back without the responsiblity of an adult relationship. And we can keep making art lmao (if youre looking for someone to write your breakup songs about).

L-Long Way Down *****this song fkn hurts man. It’s overlooked a lot but shows so much insight**** We were...everything. And maybe that’s the problem? We’ve been through so fucking much, more than anyone our age should have to endure. (We've been in fire, Went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean And drowned in the waves. Built a cathedral But we never prayed) We didn’t know what we had. We were damn kids man. We weren’t prepared for all this. We didn’t know how powerful this would be. We didn’t know what it required of us. (We had a mountain But took it for granted. We had it all yeah. Who could’ve planned it). We didn’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it, so here we are. (We had a spaceship But we couldn't land it) We’re each other’s everything, but we can’t keep going on like this babe. (We found an island But we got stranded). I don’t want to leave you but being together is breaking us down. (Point of no return and now It's just too late to turn around) We thought we were untouchable. That love conquers all. Maybe, we were wrong. This is gonna hurt like a bitch (We built it up so high and now I'm fallin', it’s a long way down)

H-Olivia: I LIVE FOR YOU, I LONG FOR YOU, I LOVE YA. And i think i’ll always love ya. And I’m scared...of life without you (i get the feeling you’re walking out, time is irrelevant when i’ve not been seeing you, the consequences are falling now, there’s something i’m having nightmares about...dont let me go). But maybe just maybe thats okay, because you’re AIMH (you live in my imagination...i love you, it’s all i do).

L-Love you Goodbye: I fucking love you and I’ll always fucking love you but i think this is the right thing to do even though it feels so wrong (i know there’s nothing i can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?) We made some goddamn fireworks together though (unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands) and do ya maybe think...we can make them just once more? (if tomorrow you wont be mine, let me give it to you one last time, baby let me love you goodbye...one more taste of your lips just to bring me back to the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had because if this is it, then at least we could end it riiiiight). ********in the interview with our FAVE Gwen Garcia, she asked if it’s better to say goodbye and end a relationship that’s not feeling right or keep trying even if your heart’s not in it. Harry responds with “I think it’s better to say goodbye...but sometimes if youre trying to protect..” Then Louis cuts him off and says “you’re going deep aren’t you”, brushing the question off as a joke but imho i think there was pain in that answer. Then Harry continues “if you’re not 100% in it, I think it’s better for both parties if you say goodbye”. And Louis adds a “yeah” at the end.********

H-Walking in the Wind: I know this is scary but i think we can do it, (you said to me do you believe i’ll be too far? if youre lost just look for me you’ll find me) I think because youre AIMH and i’m always in yours, it’ll be good for us. And look at us being mature, we’re killing it babe. We can live our separate lives and grow on our own. We dont need to make it messy and hurtful. We’re on the same page. (the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won. A necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none). At this point, we’re kinda part of each other right? So it’s healthy for us to be apart for a bit. (it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again... i know we’ll be alright...just close your eyes and see i’ll be by your side any time you need me). And you’ve helped me grow into the person I am, and I you, so that’s cool as hell, right? (you will find me in places that we’ve never been). We had a TON of fun (we had some good times didnt we) so i feel okay that we’re doing this (goodbyes are bittersweet) and starting the next adventure in our lives.

H-If I could fly: I. am. yours. Louis. William. Tomlinson. (for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart). Maybe this growth thing isn’t worth it, let me prove to you how much you mean to me (i think i might give up everything just ask me to). This is gonna be hard as shit because i’m so dependent on you (i’m missing half of me when we’re apart). I’m being honest and I’m being scared and I’m being vulnerable because I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m strong (i let my guard down, right now i’m completely defenseless). But we’re part of each other, right? (i could feel your heart inside of mine). I’ll always be here for you Lou (for when you’re lonely and forget who you are) even if for now we can’t physically be together.

L-Home: I’ve tried, Harry. I’ve tried to play pretend (told myself i kind of like her but there was something missin in her eyes). But i was lost (i was stumblin, lookin in the dark with an empty heart) because none of it was enough, none of it was YOU (it was there i sawr it in your eyes). And then i met you and you felt the same and we’re both lost souls playing pretend who found magic in each other (but you say you feel the same, could we ever be enough?) Is our love enough to overcome everything? Maybe we can be enough. Maybe I can make this enough, let me try to make it enough for you. And if we go our separate ways, know that I’m here for you no matter what. I won’t let you be lost again. (When you’re lost I’ll find a way and I’ll be your light, you will never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like home). So go. wander. find yourself. Then when you’re ready, come home.

2016-2017

H- Sweet Creature: ***Harry admit that this was the first song he wrote for the album**** We aren’t in the best place rn. We’ve been fighting (had another talk about where it’s going wrong...it’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn). But it’s you Louis. It can’t be anyone else. (don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong... wherever I go, you bring me home). That’s not even a question. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but the one thing I know is that a large part of who I am is you (we started 2 hearts in one home). And aint no way I’m losing that part of myself (when i run out of road, you bring me home). It was always you.

H-MMITH: Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready (just let me know i’ll be at the door, hoping you’ll come around). I know I need to work on myself a little more (i gotta get better, and maybe we’ll work it out) but honestly i’m getting impatient and i want things to go back to how they were and i want to be yours again (once you go without it, nothing else would do). But I can’t communicate this to you clearly so let me just put this in a song and hope you get it (we dont talk about it, it’s something we dont do) ****Harry mentioned in an interview that he expresses himself through songwriting when he can’t say the words directly to a person because it’s easier to just write it in a song than have difficult conversations*****

H-ESNY: ****honestly no idea what this song is about but it’s something to do with them fighting and not communicating and being in a weird place before their relationship is rekindled******* edit: this could be about his stepdad

H-FTDT: I MISS YOU AND I’M TOO FULL OF PRIDE TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY JUST COME BACK INTO LIFE LOU I’M LONELY AND SAD AND EMPTY AND IM NOT FUCKING FINDING MYSELF LIKE YOU SAID I WOULD (woke up alone, played with myself where were you...we havent spoke since you went away, why wont you ever say what you wanna say) So until then I sit and wait for your sorry ass to make the first move (maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too...but you never do). Also like i have to hear from other people how you are?? (i saw your friend that you know from work, he said that you feel just fine) ANd you’re sharing OUR clothes with people?? wtf just swallow your pride and call me

L-Miss You: OKAY BUT I CANT JUST CALL YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRIDE TOO also my mates are trying to make me get over you (now i’m asking my friends how to say I’m sorry, they say lad give it ttime there’s no need to worry, and we can’t even be on the phone now). So i’m just numbing your absence with partying and drinks but CLEARLY ITS NOT WORKING (should be laughing but there’s something wrong...shit maybe i miss you...when i feel it coming up i just throw it all away, get another few shots cuz it doesn’t matter anyway...such a good time, i’ll believe it this time). This is weird bc like you were my everything but im trying to get used to this and it fucking sux (oh how shit changes, we were in love, now we’re strangers). And tbh, its scary af bc what if this is it (i’m asking myself, is it over?). BUT ALSO LIKE WTF U COULD REACH OUT FIRST YA KNOW (i’ve been checking my phone all evening).

H-Anna: wtf Louis how do you not see how much this is killing me. I miss you so much and seeing you on tv or in pics drives me wild bc you’re not mine. (I don’t want your sympathy but you don’t know what you do to me...everytime I see your face there’s only so much I can take...I guess it would be nice if I can touch your body). And idk if you’re replacing me (don’t know where you’re laying, just know it’s not with me) and we’re in SUCH a weird place rn how do I tell u you’re the loml (don’t know what I’d say if I passed you on the street...don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth) so I refuse to put this song on the album and let you know this and give you satisfaction from knowing how gone I still am for you bc I have 0 idea how you feel (hope you never see this and know that it’s for you)

L-Always You: SO THIS IS ME SWALLOWING MY PRIDE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU SAYING IM SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT... ok but fr i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u and nothing else compares like i can travel the whole world and all i think about is how much more fun it was with you and the memories we shared and i wish i could just say thx fr th mmrs and move on but actually no thx actually fuck you for making me not able to enjoy my life without you. So like...come home? and wrap your legs around me? also lmao i took El to a gay bar in amsterdam for her bday lmao i miss u come cuddle me and i’ll tell you all about it

L-We Made It: looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby. They saidd I bett they’ll never make it, but just look at us holding onn, we’re still togetherr, still going stronggg. Also to the fans, miss our single bed and the nights we talked about our dreams :-* also Andrew my man luv u

2018-2019

L-KMM: our love was youthful and exhilarating and fucking electric and i think it still can be. dont know what i’d do without you now H

L-DLIBYH: We’re strong babe and we’ve grown and we aren’t gonna let life drag us down. I’m doing better, you’re doing better, this is what we wanted. And now any shit we go through, we’ll go through TOGETHER

L-Too Young: Okay but looking back, that was a lot of shit we went through and we were just babies and i’m sorry for not fighting harder (i cant believe i gave in to the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off cuz i didnt know no better) baby i tried, i tried to protect you but like it was just so much and i hate that you got hurt and i wont ever let that happen again. ALso go us for being mature and COMMUNICATING (face to face at the kitchen table, we can finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before). ANd i know you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry so here let ME say i’m sorry that i hurt you darling. Like we were too young to know we had everything BUT now we’re old(er) and can realize that when we’re together, we DO have everything now and omg is this our happily ever after and we can have a daughter and name her Darcy

L-Habit: do i need to spell it out for you iiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmm sssssssoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy. But tbh i let you go because it felt right because mentally you were already out the door and i needed to give you room to grow babe. And i needed the space too (you gave me the time and the space i was out of control and i’m sorry i let you down). but like also i’ve learned i can’t escape you Styles. You’re always in my fucking heart and my fucking mind and in every essence of my being and somehow I knew that 9 years ago and it took me this long to realize how powerful this really is (guess that that i know what i already knew, i was better with you and i miss you now). Ooooh also my favorite line i wrote (took some time cuz i ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be and honestly i dont have to choose anymore) like who am i kidding, im done pretending i just wanna be yoursss now

L-Defenseless: I can’t help it okay theres something about you that doesn’t let me stay away. I need you and I know that rekindling this relationship isn’t going to be easy even though it feels so so right. It’s going to be hard work (sleeping on our problems but we’ll solved them in our dreams, wake up early morning and it’s still under the sheets) and we need to communicate and solve our problems but here I am, raw and unfiltered and emotionally naked in front of you ready to lay it all on the table (not sure how to say this right, got so much to lose. NEver been so defenseless). So like this branch I’m reach out to you and you be honest with me too babe (you dont have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do...I can’t get inside, when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove). Be open with me. Lets talk. Let’s solve problems. Lets have an adult relationship. I’m asking for a little vulnerabiltiy babe. It’s just me. Theres nothing to be scared of

L-Walls: And here you have me in my purest form. No lies, no secrets, no insecurities to hide behind. Losing you was fucking painful but i got through it. I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve fought. And without you, I grew into the person I am. And any further growing i’m doing is gonna be with you. bc it was all for you babe. and honestly i can take anything life throws at me now. I’m strong baby. I’m fucking strong and fucking brave and fucking resilient and...fucking yours. ***** wtf is the I just hope i see you one day and you’ll say to me oh oh********

H-Golden: You are the literal sun and I’m not ready. YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON (you were way too bright for me, i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky). I’m scared to go through this alone, I need your comfort and your guidance (i can feel you take control of who i am and all i’ve ever known). But you’re scared to go through this with me bc you dont wanna get hurt and i’m too open so where tf does that leave us. ******this could be about coming out especially with the London AND NY secret shows where Harry added the lyric I’m hoping someday you’ll open*******

H-Adore You: You dont have to say you love me, you dont have to say nothing, you dont have to say you’re mine. I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore Lou. Like its the only thing I’ll ever do. read: Louis is a great person to just admire what he’s like. ALso I dont need anything back. I just dont want to hide my love for you anymore. I don’t need answers or promises. Just let me adore you. ********the music video is also basically a Louis appreciation post. He was the boy with the smile that the world took away from him. He found Harry lost and loved him and nurtured him and made him confident and allowed him to be who he wanted to be. But in doing so, Harry became big and unsatisfied and wanted to explore the world and was clearly interested in Hollywood and Rockstardom especially evident in his behavior 2014-2015. And Louis wasn’t about that life and didn’t want to hold him back. So he let him free. But they realized that they don’t work apart. Wherever they’re going, they’re going together, as the boy sails into the unknown following the fish. I see it as Harry’s version of “this one is a thank you for what you did for me” ************* I see it, I appreciate it, and I love you for it

H-Lights Up: ****fight with Louis. (What do you mean I’m sorry by the way) About coming out? About fame? (Step into the light, so bright sometimes) Either way, L is the guy driving the motorcycle in the video who makes H feel comfortable and safe until they get pulled over because SOMEONE wont let them love*******

H-Falling: What if i’m out, what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? Okay maybe I lied I do want you to claim me. Would me coming out of the closet make that hard for you? I CAN’T GO THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHOUT YOU LOU. I picked someone supportive and now I’m spoiled and I dont know how to be with myself. You want back in my life but what if I dont deserve it? (you said you cared and you missed me too...what i’m someone i dont want around). What if you’re better off without me? (i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again). I know youve been through so much shit because of me, things you’ve never even told me about and im afraid...that I wasn’t worth it. Am I being selfish? because either way, i want YOU (what if you’re someone i just want around). Does that make me a bad person?

H-TBSL: ****Probably when they starting talking again but it was v casual and they didn’t really discuss their relationship yet*****. I MISS U BUT I WONT TELL U THAT and its nice to talk to u again i missed your voice but if u call me baby i will kill u bc that word has weight OKAY. Like i know you just call everyone babe and darling and sweetheart but baby is FOR ME and only for me when you wake up with me and cuddle me and if you think you have any right calling me baby without giving the luxury of being in a relationship with you then piss off because that shit hurts dude. (i know that you’re trying to be friends, know that you mean it...it’s hard for me to go home to be so lonely). ALso it’s not my fault i’m like this, you literally captured my heart when i was 16 like wtf do u expect (dont blame me for falling, i was just a little boy)

H-Sunflower Vol. 6: we were babies and i was so enamored by you and you’re so bright and beautiful and i want to watch you all day and make you smile and i want you to touch my hair and call me curly and i hope im not making you uncomfortable with my heart eyes but like how are you so perfect. I hope you think i’m cool, i’m really trying but like you’re SO FUNNY and charming and everyone loves you i hope im not embarassing myself. And now it’s like 8 years later and i think i can have you again and i want you so bad but i dont wanna seem too eager and im trying to have dignity and not text you first but like also i want nothing more than to talk to you. Do you think i’m cool now? did you like my new hairstyle? Do you think i’m funny on tour? I want everything i want to be domestic again and kiss in the kitchen and i want to cook for you and as;ldfa;sdhaf i want to buy you flowers everyday and shower ur cute face with kiss. boopx28

H-Canyon Moon: Hell yea i got ma man back and i have a girlfriend named Jennifer ;) and we are domestic and even though I HATE being away from him for work (so hard to leave it) we have the 2 week rule yall then i can wrap my legs around him and after so so so long I’ll be h.o.m.e. Also did i tell you his eyes are so so blue like sky who i dont know her

H-TPWK: So we’re really doing this. We don’t need to have it all figured out. We can just be us. and happy. and dance. The world loves us babe. (Giving second chances, I don’t need all the answers and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong)

H-Fine Line: You’ve got my devotion but man I can hate you sometimes....We’ll be a fine line. Between what? love and hate? public and private? out and in the closet? each others’ and ourselves? Idk. But i’m going to swallow my pride (my hands at risk I fold) because no matter what, the worst possible outcome is not having you. And I never wanna go through that again. I know we have work to do on our relationship (spreading you open is the only way I know you). And there’s lot of unknown here (there’s things that we’ll never know) but what i do know is that i cant resist you (you sunshine you temptress) and i cant be without you ever again. I think it’ll be hard as hell. But when have we known love as anything but hard? And when have we known our love as anything but worth it? We’ll be a fine line baby. But i know, i knowww with every part of me that we’ll be alright. Because these past 10 years, we’ve been through A LOT. ANd it could have ruined us and made us cynical and cold and closed off. And I think at one point it did. But you know what we did? We fought it. We fought it together. Then we fought it individually. And we became BRAVE. And a brilliant man once said, “love is only for the brave”.

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sylvermidnight · 4 years ago

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An in depth look at HWS New Zealand

Name: Mikaere (Meaning godlike or one who is like god)

English Given Name: Howard (Howie) Kirkland

Human Age: 18

National Age: 180+

Gender: Non-binary (He/They)

Sexuality: Bisexual

General Appearance: Howie is around 5′5, they’re slight in stature but they can be big in presence. He is Māori, so his skin is a more warm brown than most of his “siblings” He somehow managed to inherit Arthur’s green eyes, something he regrets more than anything about his appearance. His hair falls in thick soft curls around his face, normally tucked back behind his ears. His face and body are splattered with freckles that get just a little bit more prominent when he’s been out in the sun for long periods of time. He has a large tattoo on his back, taking up most of it, and even dipping out across his hips and waist. The second tattoo is a band around his left arm. He also has a large scar running the length of his torso, and a smaller one cutting under his right rib. Aside from those he has many tiny ones across his hands and legs that heal up quickly from stupid stunts. He has a tongue piercing but he doesn’t always leave it in. He tends to fidget with it when he does.

As for clothes he can be found on one of two extremes. Cottagecore or punk. He is fond of his soft sweaters and work boots. But he also can be seen sporting leather jackets and spikes. It all depends on the mood of the day. But he does typically give off an approachable vibe either way.

General Personality: They’re not exactly a quiet type for sure. They’re outspoken about their needs, wants, and opinions. He’s both a lover and a fighter. Taking care of his siblings when he can, but not hesitating to go to bat for them in a fight. Howie loves children and is always willing to babysit if another nation needs it. He’s a goofball at times, and pulls stupid stunts that can land him hurt or in trouble. He’s one of a few of the anglosphere children to yell in Arthur’s face, in some ways taking after Alfred.

Considered Family List:

Arthur Kirkland (England)

Jett Kirkland (Australia)

Alfred Jones (America)

Matthew Williams (Canada)

Jia Long (Hong Kong)

Ireland

Scotland

Tā moko:

The Manaia rests in the center of his back, surrounded by intricate patterns that somewhat tell his life story.

The Manaia represents the connection to the spirit world and the mortal, and is said to ward off evil. Howie got it right before leaving to fight in WW1 thinking it would protect him, and wanting to bring pride to his culture and home.

On his upper left arm rests the Pakati pattern in a thick band.

This marks them as a warrior and he got it before leaving for WW2. Older now, and independent he believed it was time to take that title as he had been involved with many conflicts leading up to this.

History and timeline:

The New Zealand Wars

Mikaere was born sometime before the coming conflict. Whom he was raised by up until that point is unknown. They do not remember them, and Arthur never met them. When Te riri Pākehā (Another name for the conflict) began Mikaere was still a small child. They don’t remember it all too vividly but they still resent it as it was the beginning of English control and the destruction of their native culture. It was during this time Mikaere was found by Arthur and for lack of a better term, adopted. He was renamed Howard, and took on the last name Kirkland. It was also then that he was moved off the island to best avoid the fighting and when he met his brothers. He bonded well with both Jett and Jia Long (Then anglicized Leon). But there is still a lingering resentment to this day for the happenings of this time period.

Early Childhood:

Howie was raised in the same house as his two closest brothers, and that created a strong between the three of them. Arthur was not the most attentive parent in the world and that lead to many issues growing up. They weren’t unhappy or lonely but they were often homesick and confused. When Howie was around eight or nine he met Alfred for the first time and it is still something they are confused about. Their older brother was much preferable to Matthew or even their father. But it still felt strange. Alfred often came bearing gifts and large boats and many loud and unpleasant people. And at dinner there would always be some sort of argument. He was too young at the time to understand that Arthur was still at odds with his eldest. Other notable events are; the continuation of Māori resistance, a visit from Germany, a visit from Japan, a surprise visit from Russia, and the first New Zealand built locomotive.

Gaining dominion status and the Great War:

After gaining dominion status in 1907 Howie was faced with a choice. They could either move out of Arthur’s home and return home permanently, or they could stay. Jett had gained independence in 1901, six years earlier, and he was home less and less. Out of guilt however Howie decides to stay and look after Jia Long, and at times, Arthur. He worried his father may not be able to handle losing another child. As WW1 crept closer on the horizon Howie prepared to go to war by receiving his first tattoo, the Manaia across his back. The disaster of Gallipoli left him scared as almost three thousand of his men died, he still holds resentment against Arthur for that, and slowly over time it festers. He goes on to fight, transferring to the western front and participating in the Battle of Passchendaele where 3,700 of his soldiers fell. This only added to the length of the painful and deep scar cutting across his heart and torso. Finally the war comes to an end, however when they return home new truths come to light. Arthur confesses to the details behind his name change and how he came to be in his care. This paired with the folly of Gallipoli was enough to make him break ties with his father figure and finally strike out on his own.

WW2:

Howie enters WW2 at Arthur’s behest and participates in joint operations with him for a time. They get their second tattoo, denoting them as a warrior. After the attack on pearl harbor war is also declared on Japan and Howie worries after his older brother significantly. As threats of a Japanese invasion rise Howie finds themselves at home more and more, taking on the role of medic for the first time and finding they rather prefer the position. In June of 1942 Alfred arrives and the two spend a lot of time together before his departure. He participates in the invasion of Italy not as a soldier but as a medic, having decided that is the role he prefers to play. Before the war ends he gains another scar, under his right rib. This represents the battle of Monte Cassino.

Then to present:

After that Howie attempted to avoid conflict. They’d rather not follow in their father or older brother’s footsteps. Though he continues to care for his family, as well as seek Alfred’s approval, he’s more set to look inward. For now he’s moved on to better days, finding a solid relationship with Yong-Soo, and applying for medical school which would be the first time he attended college.

Brief relationship bios:

Arthur:

The relationship is a parental one. Though not exactly solid. Howie loves him terribly but they often find themselves at odds with him. They blame him for a lot of his troubles and rightly so. Their childhood was not pleasant. But for all of the pain they still check up on him regularly. Making sure he knows he’s somewhat appreciated and not forgotten. They do their best to explain how they’ve been hurt and why things can’t be the way they were but it’s difficult.

See following fic for more elaboration:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30438327

Jett:

Jett is Howie’s closest companion and has been throughout their life. Despite being the younger sibling they take a defensive role over him and will fuck up anyone who tries to start shit. They were brought closer via abandonment but they made the best out of it. They’re too halves of the same idiot. Often Howie will get into trouble and Jett will take the blame for them, allowing Howie to keep up his innocent façade.

Alfred and Matthew:

Alfred is somewhat protective over them, while Matthew could not care less. Howie’s relationship with Alfred while distant, is solid.

Jia Long:

Jia Long is the third in Jett and Howie’s group of terror. While not as often involved he never passes up an opportunity to get into trouble with them and Howie often employs him on pranks targeted against Yao and Arthur. They sort of understand where the other is coming from. Not completely, but some of the experiences are the same, causing them to bond. Once again Howie is highly protective over him and will go to fists.

Ireland and Scotland:

I don’t have solid characters for either nation but I do know historically speaking they would have good relationships with Howie. Historically New Zealand has stood behind both of them when it comes to conflict with Britain and the immigration rate back and forth between both countries is very high.

That’s it for now but I constantly have brainrot about this kid so probably more at a later date.

#aph new zealand #hws new zealand #hetalia #historical hetalia #hetalia headcanons #hws america #HWS England #hws australia #hws hong kong

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yugirl · 4 years ago

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Day 4: “Swing of Memories”

Ah, yes, those sweet, precious memories shared with siblings...and a few you’d rather forget. Explore the bond between Asuka Tenjoin/Alexis Rhodes and Fubuki Tenjoin/Atticus Rhodes today! A sweet sibling hug? A heated argument? Show us!

@gxmonth

((I got intrigued about how Atticus might feel insecure about his and Alexis’ relationship after graduation. He’s always been the big brother to provide comfort and support, so what will he do when she spreads her wings. Plus I finally get to introduce Ms Mutou to GX Month))

To call Ms Mutou’s Office and Office was a bit of a stretch.

It was a decent sized room, probably an old classroom before that part of the building became Offices. She had a few beanbags and large cushions lying to one side and a few coffee tables amongst them. On the other side were a few tables and chairs and a station that provided coffee, tea and biscuits.

The truth is Ms Motou’s office wasn’t much of an office at all. But a room she had created for students to wind down in and relax as duelling could be stressful. So they could read, take a nap, play quieter games or duel without disks. There was also a spot called the confidentiality corner for students to vent their troubles to the young teacher. She couldn’t guarantee advice, but sometimes they just wanted someone to listen.

Today the office was on the empty side. Students were busy preparing for their final exams, and her adoption litter had gone no contact with her after her stunt with Dyspia. To be honest, she didn’t blame them. Sending her kids to a nightmare dimension where they had to confront the worst of themselves just to settle a petty squabble between friends probably was a bit extreme. Her cousin, Christina, had made it very clear she wasn’t speaking to her, and Megan said no hugs for a week. Even Mako said, “Leysa, I love you, but that was too far….”

So, needless to say, she was surprised when she saw Atticus was slated for a session in her confidentiality corner.

She had just finished making her tea when Atticus walked into the office

“Full disclosure, I’m still pissed off at you about the Dyspia thing”, The third year started, “but I need to get something off my chest and didn’t know where else to go.”

“You’ve come to the right place!” Leysa gestured for the other to take a seat “what seems to be the problem, Atticus?”

“It’s about Lexi…” Atticus sighed. “She’s excelling in all her classes and knows exactly what she wants to do after school, and knowing her, she’s going to be very successful….”

Leysa failed to see what the problem was. “And how does that make you feel?”

“I don’t know— I mean, I was convinced I was going to make it as a big musician, but now I’m not sure… some people would argue I’m past my prime. I mean, I’m 19 now….”

“I’m pretty sure 19 isn’t past your prime, Atticus. I mean, Guilmon Deltora didn’t make it big until he was 35, so you still have time…” Leysa assured. “Besides, didn’t you mention you wanted to be on reality TV? Anyone of any age can get stardom in that industry!”

She really didn’t want to encourage Atticus to be on Reality TV, but she was trying to cheer him up right now.

“I mean, yeah, but that’s not the problem… I guess… do you have any idea what it’s like to have a sibling that’s so much more popular and famous than you?”

“Atticus, my twin brother is Yugi Mutou”, Leysa deadpanned. “I have a fair idea.”

“Oh shit”

“You forgot?”

“Yeah”

“It’s cool. I’m used to it, continue?”

“Ok, right!” Atticus took a deep breath. “I guess I’m just anxious because well… Lexi is going to do so well in life and as a result she… she isn’t going to need me anymore… I’ve always watched her, protected her, encouraged her, but lately she’s been pushing me away, and I’m worried one day… she won’t want me in her life.”

Leysa slammed her hands on the table.

“Ok, Atticus! I know I’m overbearing but listen up. As someone who is the little sister, I can assure you there are times when I still turn to Yugi for advice. When we were living in separate countries, I would still call him when I was insecure! But this is not about me. This is about you and Lexi, and I assure you that she will still want you around, even need you around! She’s going to need someone to vent her problems too, someone’s shoulder to cry on, and someone to stand by her no matter what.”

“B-but doesn’t she have her friends for that?” Atticus asked, still not convinced.

“Ok, let me put it this way. Do you have any idea what Alexis went through to find you? She had sleepless nights, interrogated everyone she could, risked death several times and then visited your bedside every single day! Because she missed you, she loved you, and she wanted you to come home!” Leysa sighed “if you don’t believe me, then how about talking to her….”

“Wow… Lexi never told me any of that….” Atticus mumbled. Looking at his feet. “She did that?”

“All of it and more!”

“Wow…” Atticus sighed. Now he felt like a butt. “I’m going to go talk to her….”

“Good idea. Why not go to the secret hang out spot! Use the old swing of memories!”

“Good idea… thanks, Ms M… still mad at you, though.”

“I know!”

Alexis was confused about why Atticus had invited her to the secret lake where the adoption litter usually met up. But at the same time, it was nice for them to catch up alone as siblings.

“Lexi! Glad you could make it!!”

“Atti!!” Alexis smiled “so what’s the occasion?”

“I… I guess I wanted to play the swing of memories card… I wanted to do the big brother thing just a bit longer!” Atticus said quietly.

“A bit longer? What do you mean?” Alexis asked, confused.

“Well, you’re going to the pro leagues, aren’t you? Once you do that, you’ll be big and famous and successful. You won’t need to rely on me anymore.”

“As Megan always says, that’s bull hockey!” Alexis scoffed.

“W-what do you mean!?”

“Atticus, you idiot, I’ll always need you!” Alexis sighed and pulled her big brother into a hug. “You’ve always been there for me and believed in me… I don’t know what I’d do without you!”

“I’m sorry, Lexi….” Atticus sighed and hugged back. “I didn’t mean to make you upset….”

“It’s ok, Atticus… just know you’ll always be my big brother, and I’ll always need you!”

“I’ll always need you too, Alexis!!” Atticus teared up, “after hearing everything you went through for me… I hope you know how much you mean to me, and I can’t wait to see you make it big in the pro leagues….”

Alexis teared up too and hugged him again. Eventually smiling and turning to the old swing hanging from the tree. “Hey, do you want to…”

“Oh, absolutely!”

Alexis sat on the swing, and Atticus stood on it with one foot on either side of her. “Let’s go!”

Alexis kicked her feet, and whoosh, they were off. Free in the air as the sunset, the two of them giggling and sharing memories and making the most of their time together.

#yugioh #yugioh gx #gxmonth #long post #alexis rhodes #atticus rhodes #leysa mutou #oc #gxmonth2021

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polaristranslations · 4 years ago

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Yotsugi Buddy Episode 5 (FINAL)

The epilogue; or perhaps, the punch line.

After yet another week had passed.

"So? What happened this time? If you're okay with me, I'll hear you out, Araragi-kun."

"Oh, get lost... Hanekawa!?"

My former classmate who had set off a journey wandering overseas after graduating from Naoetsu High School, Hanekawa Tsubasa, was sitting right in front of me—huh!?

What happened to Gahara-san, who's usually in charge of the endings!?

"Hitagi-chan is going on a trip to Kushiro with friends from her dorm this week, so if I may be so presumptuous as to take her place."

"She's going to Hokkaido!? That Hokkaido that I have yet to visit!? With her new friends!?"

Don't do things that will hurt your boyfriend!

Well, I was highly in favor of her expanding her circle of friends... But if she really went and ate crabs there, we might have to have a serious talk about breaking up.

"But, Hanekawa, if you're taking her place... When did you even get back? How long have you been here?"

"I actually got back just now. Since it's summer break, I thought I'd spend some time with Hitagi-chan, but she rejected me. She assigned me to you, Araragi-kun."

It was also a bit of a shock to hear Hanekawa speak as if she had no intention of meeting me... But oh well.

I wouldn't normally be a fan of breaking up the rhythm of our regular interactions, but that didn't mean I wasn't happy to be able to talk with Hanekawa—even if the subject was a tragicomedy about child abuse.

The location was, as usual, the cafeteria on the university campus—it was Hitagi who called me out, so I faithfully rushed over, thinking it was the usual thing... So this was quite the surprise.

Hanekawa Tsubasa, whom I hadn't seen in several months, now had long, straight gray hair. It wasn't braided, but it was close to the length that it had been when I first met her... However, she didn't have bangs, so I guess she just kept growing them out. I didn't know what country she just got back from, but her style, with her sturdy-looking backpack and hat, seemed like she'd just come back from climbing a mountain.

Her golden-brown skin made it seem as if she'd gotten a tan at the beach or something, but was that mismatched impression just how Hanekawa was like, now?

If there was one thing that bore a resemblance to when we first met, it would be that, though she had been wearing contact lenses since the second term of her high school senior year, she had gone back to wearing glasses—it wasn't for the sake of changing her image or her character, but simply that it was more convenient for travel.

Thinking about it, wasn't this the first time I saw Hanekawa Tsubasa in plain clothes? Since she was no longer a high school girl, I suppose it was natural to see her in plain clothes... I hadn't been mentally prepared in the slightest, so even her mountain climbing clothes left me flustered.

I didn't know if I should call it a cameo appearance or a stunt double, but, well, maybe Hanekawa was more suited for the ending than Hitagi was, as far as this case was concerned.

Not just because of the character for "hane".

Although, that's where it all started.

"Ahaha, that's pretty careless of you, Araragi-kun. Anyone with the character for 'hane' is usually good for nothing."

"They're good for something! There's something good for all of them! Don't involve the entire population of people with 'hane' in their name just because of your own self-deprecation! As soon as 'hane' shows up in your name, you're guaranteed to live a long and wealthy life! You score a hundred points in name-based fortune-telling!"

"Araragi-kun, were you always that defensive of a person...? I never said anything about economic conditions or life expectancy, either."

It's not like you get scored in name-based fortune-telling, too, pointed out Hanekawa in a dumbfounded manner—damn, after not seeing her in a while, it was like she was pointing out how dull I'd become.

Name-based fortune-telling, huh.

"You really know everything, don't you."

"I don't know everything, I just know what I know. Also, sorry about this, but we're no longer in high school, so if you don't mind, can you stop calling me 'you [omae]' so brusquely?"[?]

"We're totally not on the same wavelength!"

It was like a failed attempt at a nostalgic handshake—well, I guess such awkwardness is also part of what a reunion tastes like.

"I wouldn't say you've gotten dull. In fact, I'm impressed by how much you've grown. I never thought you'd save a teacher. I'd love to tell Hoshina-sensei all about it."

"Well, I really caused a lot of trouble for that homeroom teacher of mine... Teachers, huh... If I've become a fine person, then what have you... Er, what have you [anata] been up to lately, Hanekawa?"[?]

"I didn't think you'd be this awkward. I'm just kidding, it's fine to keep using 'you [omae]'. Well, I've finally finished the first stage of clearing out the mines around some national borders."

The scale was way too different.

In that case, her mountain climbing clothes today might actually be work clothes, or more specifically, military clothes... In other words, I guess it was my fate to never see Hanekawa in plain clothes.

It made me feel like the adventure that Ononoki-chan and I went on was nothing but a small trifle.

"There's no such thing as too big or too small when it comes to helping people. You're not your sisters, Araragi-kun."

"Now that you've said that, I'm sure even Ononoki-chan can rest in peace."

"D-did Ononoki-chan die!?"

"Well, she was already dead. Well, I'll talk about that later... I have things planned out, you see."

"Surely not. It doesn't seem like you'd plan things out, Araragi-kun."

Well, maybe I hadn’t.

And that was true today as well.

"If you've only finished the first stage, does that mean there are still some mines left?"

"No, they've all been completely cleared out. Otherwise, I wouldn't have come back. By finishing the first stage, I mean that I've been freed from my debt."

"Debt? For what?"

"The debt from chartering a fighter jet to take down Ougi-chan the day before our graduation ceremony."

Oh yeah, there was something like that.

I see, so while I'd thought that everything had been finished back then, Hanekawa had been suffering from debt hell ever since... Though it wasn't as bad as my hellish spring break.

Still, I don't know if you could say "as expected", but she repaid her debt quite fast.

What an amazing girl.

"So, from here on out, Hanekawa Tsubasa is free to do whatever she wants... Free to clear out mines of her own volition."

"......"

She was saying something pretty good, but it was kind of scary... When I was back in high school, I never thought I would end up worrying for Hanekawa's future.

"So?"

Hanekawa asked, switching back to the main topic.

"What happened this time? If you're okay with me, I'll hear you out, Araragi-kun."

"There would be no better person to hear me out than you."

It had already been in the news, and since she was the class president that knew everything, I didn't think there was anything I could add. But I told her the full story in chronological order, without cutting anything.

"—Ah, I guess you're not a class president anymore."

"Well, I'm still a president. Of the International Land Mine Removal U-20 Committee."

"That's insane. I never thought that my prediction that you would be a class president for the rest of your life would be fulfilled like this."

"But, I see, hmm. So it was something like that. You sure had a hard time, didn't you, Araragi-kun? But I think I understood most of it."

"You ‘understood most of it’ that easily, huh? The truth about the oddity incident that almost killed me several times."

"Did you really almost die?"

"By my estimate, at least twenty times."

"Don't exaggerate. It's an oddity story, after all. It could end up spreading."

At the very least, it was just once—when I was almost choked to death by my own clothes. At most, I'd say it was two times... With the time when I was locked in a cage.

I wasn't counting the two flights I made with "Unlimited Rulebook", since those were more like gags.

In that sense, perhaps I wasn't involved in that big of an adventure this summer... It didn't turn into anything like a demon-world-like summer vacation that could rival my hellish spring break and my nightmarish Golden Week.

Right.

In the end, this was reality.

"Honestly, maybe it would've been better if it had been you. If you were the one that Associate Professor Iesumi asked for help. If it had been you, you wouldn't have had the 'replacement child' misunderstanding when she first called you into her office, and you would have completely dispelled her suicidal impulses, wouldn't you?"

"Mm. Mmm. If it were up to the current me, I might have just let her die."

"......"

"It might have been impossible for the me of the past, too. The thought of helping an adult might not have even occurred to me... And I don't think I could have remained calm in front of an abusive adult. You remember, right? What I did to the people who raised me. Although I've forgotten... So, Araragi-kun, you're incredible."

Even though she said that, it didn't really feel like I was being praised.

If anything, I felt like a traitor. As if she was asking me how I remained so calm.

"I think all I could've done was call the cops at the very beginning, which would have complicated things further. So, Iesumi-san was right to choose you following Oikura-san's recommendation. Isn't that why Oikura-san told Iesumi-san about you?"

"Oikura would badmouth me to anyone."

Even if her words becoming the catalyst ended up being a good thing... I couldn't say that I had really been very helpful, just like with Oikura's case.

Rather than being helpful, I was completely helpless.

At least, that's how I felt.

"On the other hand, how much do you understand right now, Araragi-kun?"

"I barely understand anything. It's the same as always, just me regretting that there must have been a way to do this better."

In fact, the "past Hanekawa method" of reporting the abuse of the three-year-old daughter as soon as I heard about it wasn't so bad... At the very least, Associate Professor Iesumi would not have to be admitted to a police hospital for malnutrition, in this gluttonous country of Japan.

Her consciousness, which was already hazy on the rooftop, had been completely lost at this point... The doctor's assessment was that not only was she unconscious and in critical condition, it was unbelievable that she was still alive to begin with.

How was she still alive?

That was the one thing even the person herself didn't understand.

I may have managed to save her life, but her life was the only thing I managed to save... Other than that, I hadn't been able to save anything else.

The basic necessities of life—when I thought about how she hadn't been given any of that, and about her life from this point on, it didn't just leave me depressed.

"It's no wonder Shinobu didn't help me at all this time. What I was doing hasn't changed from what I did back then. If there's someone dying, I just can't help but reach out to them."

Shinobu probably had her own excuses... At the very least, it wasn't fair to say that she didn't help "at all". We hadn't made it to the parking lot in time, but once the sun set, it was her time to shine—when it came to the repairing and purification of Room 333, Shinobu had done a great job on all fronts.

"Wasn't Iesumi-san actually seeking help, too? She just couldn't say it like that in front of a child."

"What, is she a tsundere? An adult like her? I may not be a specialist of child abuse, and I may not be a specialist of oddities, but I am a specialist of tsundere. Well, it does make me feel a little better to think that way, even for a moment."

But I wonder.

I had also wanted to die in the past, and it was Hanekawa's words that had kept me alive at that time, which was what troubled me so much. Wasn't it just cruel to admonish a person who was suffering and tell them that "suicide was sinful"?

After being torn to shreds, it was like I was being attacked for wanting to die—wasn't that more sinful?

It was really hard to believe she was seeking help... That person may have just wanted to die.

"Then, if I unravel the mysteries that have been left behind, will that make you feel better, Araragi-kun?"

"Well, a little."

"Then, it might be a bit much, but this humble president would like to be of assistance."

Hanekawa grinned.

So that's why she was here—unabashedly showing up on a university campus that was off-limits to outsiders. Perhaps that was all according to my girlfriend's plan, as she looked forward to going to Kushiro.

But I wasn't going to let her off easy...

"Let's start off with something easy. How about the little bear doll on the roof?"

"Is that something easy?"

"I mean, it's a bear that's the size of a key chain, right? So wouldn't it be reasonable to assume that it was originally attached to a key?"

"A key..."

The only key that appeared in this series of events would be... The key to Room 333, Associate Professor Iesumi's territory... Was this about that key, which I'd finally been able to return to her that day on the roof?

"Non, non."

"A, a Parisienne?"

"There's one more key, isn't there? There was a lock to the second door, as you called it, that could only be opened from the hallway side."

"Ah... The door that Ononoki-chan kicked open."

Aha. While I'd tried to fix the hinges on that door, I hadn't performed a search for the key itself—and even in the subsequent (half-finished) search, I hadn't found it.

"From the fact that it's a teddy bear, isn't there a good chance that it was attached to the nursery key? And then—there's a good chance she threw it onto the roof."

Thanks to Ononoki-chan, my imagination had gone in the direction that it was a memory of Associate Professor Iesumi and her parents that she couldn't easily get rid of, but it could also have been a memory of Associate Professor Iesumi and the Iie-chan doll.

...And she threw it away onto the roof.

Littering towards heaven, not earth.

"Since she didn't find it cute anymore—right? Though, like Ononoki-chan said, you can get the feeling that she didn't throw it away, but failed to completely get rid of it. Considering the damage to that bear, it would've been about a year ago, right?"

"......"

So she felt the same way about the key chain as she did with her "own child"... The key that was detached must have been used without a key chain, like the key to the front door, or else she would not have been able to open and close the nursery door.

In the end, considering that she confined the Iie-chan doll and then left the second door locked, she may have even thrown away the key onto the roof... Perhaps we would have been able to find it under the rubble from Ononoki-chan's destruction.

That worn-out little bear.

In a way, it was also a remnant of affection, like the interior of the nursery.

"Even if it was a state of emergency, I would have felt bad if we turned the bitter memories of her parents into an oddity, but since it was a doll that Associate Professor Iesumi bought herself..."

"If it had been a gift from her parents, I think you would've been in big trouble, and not just in terms of your feelings. It would've been bad if it had been handmade, too—but Ononoki-chan is a professional, so I'm sure she wouldn't make such a misjudgment."

There was once a time where I created an oddity, too—said Hanekawa, lost in her memories.

Was she talking about Black Hanekawa?

No—it must be about Kako.

It was something that happened while I was away, so I didn't know all the details... But, regardless of good or bad, the fact that she created an oddity without even being a specialist made her one hell of a girl.

How long would I be able to drink tea at the same table with her, as she continued to raise her status as president ad infinitum?

"When it comes to Ononoki-chan, I gotta say I think she was making plenty of misjudgments... According to her, 'Ever since I came to live with Araragi Tsukihi, my clumsiness has shown no signs of stopping.'"

"Hm. Then, next is..."

"Can I ask something? It might be a little trivial, but..."

"You're talking about that, right? If it's a trivial matter, then you're asking why the weakness of the clothes and fabric that attacked you and Ononoki-chan was water, right?"

Hanekawa spoke as if she was completely aware.

"But, isn't it obvious if you check the contents of Iesumi-san's letter?"

"Um. No... That wasn't the question I had, but that's fine."

It seemed the definition of "trivial" differed for me and for Hanekawa... I didn't even care about something like that anymore. I'd crudely assumed that all oddities were fundamentally weak to water or something...

"Since they were oddities created by Associate Professor Iesumi, who was raised with 'water' as her 'staple food', the oddities' weakness ended up being water? But if that's the case, I would think they would grow even stronger when being doused with water..."

Like putting dried foods back into water, I guess?

No, when I found her on the rooftop, Associate Professor Iesumi declined the water I offered her... If you suddenly drink water after not eating or drinking, then was it fatal...? But then, what exactly would be the right way to treat such a thing?

"Rather than refeeding syndrome, maybe Iesumi-san just refused to be satisfied with water—"

"Satisfied?"

"Rather than your ski cap and jacket just becoming immobile after getting soaking wet, isn't it more like they drank their fill and fell asleep on a full stomach? Like a baby with a full tummy after being breastfed."

"......"

It wasn't their weakness—it was their staple food.

The feeling of not wanting to be satisfied was something I could understand... If the vampire on a hunger strike, Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster, were here right now, perhaps she would have something more profound and more significant to talk about here.

"Breasts, huh... Have I unexpectedly become a man that enjoys raising children? It's true that I've always been thinking that men should be more proactive in childcare."

"Araragi-kun, when you say the word 'breasts' so wholeheartedly, it sounds like you mean something else."

"So was that what you meant when you asked, 'Did you really almost die?' When I was in that crisis, it was more like a starving baby clinging onto me, so my life wasn't actually in danger..."

"No, I think that was definitely an attack. Most likely, one made out of self-defense... Still, if it were me, I would have never put back on a jacket and ski cap that almost killed me... How afraid of hypothermia are you? You're way too paranoid."

When she said that, I couldn't say anything in response.

But it really is scary, getting pulled along by "Unlimited Rulebook" without even a seatbelt...

"I would think that, when your clothes attacked you while your focus was on the destroyed father doll, they attacked rather systematically. Otherwise, the professional Ononoki-chan probably would not have had a hard time. It wasn't that opening the closet was the trigger condition, but rather they aimed for the exact moment that Ononoki-chan's hands were full with opening the closet. So, what was the question you wanted to ask, Araragi-kun?"

Hanekawa came down to my level... It was an exchange that reminded me of when she was helping me study.

I really was a baby. Goo goo ga ga.

"Don't say that as if you've resigned yourself to it. What kind of baby are you trying to be?"

"Rather than my question, it's a doubt that Ougi...kun raised. The difference between the quality of the construction and the quality of the drawing for the Iie-chan and father dolls... Because of the imbalance between the balloon-art-like technique and the 'henohenomoheji' scribble, Ougi-kun suspected that two people were involved in the making of the stuffed animal, placing the 'estranged husband' on the chopping block."

Though it was Associate Professor Iesumi who locked up the doll, it was the husband who stabbed the doll in the back with a fruit knife—I had acted with that reasoning as a basis... No, it was more supplementary.

Well, unlike Ougi-chan's deductions, Ougi-kun's deductions were a bit more sloppy—or rather, it was designed to confuse the person he was talking to and cause havoc. So it wouldn't be weird if it wasn't necessarily correct, but still, that raised some concerns regarding the discrepancy between the construction ability and the drawing ability.

From reading the letter, it seemed that both the Iie-chan doll and the father doll were made by Associate Professor Iesumi alone... Could we just say that "Associate Professor Iesumi was good with crafts but had no talent in art"?

"Oh, something that simple... I mean, that really is mysterious. All right, let's think about it together!"

"You've gotten pretty bad at backing me up. Think back to the time where you were such a patient private tutor!"

"Ougi-chan—or rather, Ougi-kun? He didn't know about the existence of the father doll at the time, right? Then it made sense that he thought that way. But if he'd seen the doll on the bed in the next room beforehand, he would surely have thought something like this. 'This girl looks just like her father.'"

"...Aah."

Instead of thinking in terms of the creator being the same... If I thought about it in terms of parent and child resembling each other, then the "henohenomoheji" face being shared was completely natural... Though it was more of a folk belief that girls took after their fathers.

I'd thought that the "henohenomoheji" face was too lacking in either skill or affection for a stuffed doll made to represent one's own child, but if it was actually an imitation of the doll that was the father figure—but, if that was the case, we'd have to figure out why the face of the father doll was a "henohenomoheji".

Was it skill, or was it affection?

That was lacking—

"—I guess it has to be affection."

A forged marriage for the sake of a visa.

It was not a marriage for money or fame, but a marriage for citizenship, a marriage solely on paper—Associate Professor Iesumi, who did it all on her own, probably didn't even know what her spouse looked like.

Unlike the Iie-chan doll, who she at least tried to raise for two years, she didn't even give a name to the father doll.

All she wanted was a family register.

"Even if you can't draw a good picture, you can still draw a bad one—but something like that is just a paradox for people who don't know how to draw... Couldn't she have drawn on the face of her ideal man, or something?"

"She probably didn't even have any ideals. Or wanted to have any."

The letter had said that it was a simulation for the sake of pretending to be married... Of course, I assumed it meant more than that.

Some special reason why she had to do something like that, like emotional attachment or nostalgia—but if it truly was nothing but performing a criminal act, then it was true that there was no need for ideals.

You could even say it was a hindrance.

Although, even in that simulation, she ended up failing—

"I suppose it means that even before she was unable to love her daughter, she didn't even love her husband. To read a bit deeper into it, she may have used her parents as role models... If she thought that the strong bond between her father and mother was the reason for her long years of confinement."

"...For the sake of loving the Iie-chan doll, she chose to 'separate' with the father doll? Although, since it's a doll, you can't really separate from him..."

Unlike the little bear doll, it wasn't big enough to be thrown onto the rooftop, either... For Associate Professor Iesumi, who had grown up in a cage all her life and never known the world "outside her house", it was probably inevitable that Room 333 had become her whole territory.

Her home, which had turned into a hangout for "bad things" like the former Kitashirahebi Shrine—a 3LDK of swirling emotions.

Her saying she was separated from her husband was not a narrative trick found in mystery novels—it was simply the biggest form of separation she could think of, as her knowledge only consisted of that strong bond between parents. She was at an absurd loss.

"Even though she had no choice but to do so, the fact that she destroyed those bonds from within the cage may have determined the rest of Associate Professor Iesumi's life. Maybe she left Switzerland, not because she wanted to get away from her mother, but because she wanted to escape from her sense of guilt."

Even if she was able to realize her great ambition of getting stabbed by her father after five long years... She surely didn't want to make her mother stab her father or even turn into a fugitive.

"...Ah, I see. I should've asked about that first. It's something that I asked Associate Professor Iesumi about on the roof, though I didn't get a clear answer."

A simulation that barely lasted two years, let alone twenty—with it becoming harder to love the Iie-chan doll, her arriving at separation and finally at neglect, let's just say it was another form of a bad ending different from reality. However, if there were differences between the "recreation" and reality—

"Then who was it that stabbed the father doll? As for who stabbed the Iie-chan doll... Was it Associate Professor Iesumi?"

If the doll-making was not a collaborative effort, but hers alone, then did that mean that Ougi-kun's theory about the abuse and the stabbing was way off, and it was actually the same criminal?

It was that conversation with my junior that became the catalyst for my subsequent actions, so the truth or accuracy of the statement wasn't really important anymore, but...

"I think you can just think that it happened normally. What you first assumed, Araragi-kun,"

said Hanekawa.

"In other words, the father doll stabbed the Iie-chan doll in the back, and then the Iie-chan doll stabbed the father doll in the face."

"...That's not normal at all, though?"

Rather than it being what I first assumed, it felt like it was completely at odds with what I assumed... At that point, it wasn't even a recreation of what happened in Switzerland, right?

It was only when I thought that the "estranged husband" was real that I thought that it wasn't Associate Professor Iesumi that stabbed the Iie-chan doll. And there was certainly a time when I thought that the moving Iie-chan doll had stabbed the father doll, but after reading the letter and interpreting that Room 333 was a crime scene recreation, then I would've guessed that it was Associate Professor Iesumi that stabbed the father doll in the face.

The fact that the father doll moved and stabbed the Iie-chan doll... Well, it wasn't impossible. The reason Ononoki-chan destroyed the father doll on the bed was because she'd been wary that the doll would start moving—"just in case".

Thus, it wasn't impossible to assume that the father doll had already "moved", long before that... Rather, it could even be assumed that being stabbed in the face by the fruit knife caused that stuffed doll to "stop moving".

However, if you went even further... If Associate Professor Iesumi stabbed the doll in the face for the sake of the recreation (?), then the Iie-chan doll needed to have already been stabbed in the back.

The order of events was messed up.

Twisted up, like balloon art.

I'd certainly seen the Iie-chan doll stabbed in the back—in other words, I'd seen the fruit knife. At that point, the fruit knife was in the nursery.

As long as Associate Professor Iesumi was already on the roof of the university building, not moving the slightest bit as if locked in a cage, attempting to commit an impractical suicide—she could not have pulled out the fruit knife and stabbed the father doll in the next room.

Was it a remote-controlled trick?

If she used the oddity that controlled cloth, it wouldn't be impossible... But I didn't think at all that my jacket and ski cap, the clothes in the closet or the carpet, and especially the Iie-chan doll were under the control of Associate Professor Iesumi.

The attacks had been extremely primitive.

It was true that, like Hanekawa said, the most suspicious of them all was the Iie-chan doll, who'd displayed a high learning ability... But if so, it would not be an accurate recreation.

Although, if you told me that there was no need for it to be an accurate recreation, then I wouldn't be able to respond... In the first place, it wouldn't have been a recreation starting from the fact that the country was different...

"You don't have to make it so complicated. Let's assume for a moment that it was indeed a recreation. In that case, what would be wrong?"

"...Well."

I wanted to say that trying to argue about what was right or wrong in that situation was already wrong, but that might be being too critical.

"Are you saying that it's actually the letter that was wrong? It was written in the narration, though?"

"Don't act like some clever reader of mystery novels. Also, don't say things as if the victim is always trustworthy."

It was something I wouldn't say, no matter what.

Narration or otherwise, the content of the letter was highly questionable—even if it wasn't groundless, it was a piece of writing meant to ascend to heaven.

From the beginning, heaven and earth had already been reversed.

It had even said something like she didn't really believe that the abused Iie-chan doll was her own child, but it was highly doubtful if Associate Professor Iesumi really, truly didn't believe that.

Though it surely wasn't a disease where she denied everything.

If anything, there were probably days she knew and days she didn't... Of course, even a guy like me had good days and bad days.

Even if the day she wrote the letter happened to be one of her best days out of the whole year, there was no guarantee that those three days she left the doll locked in the cage were at the same level of energy.

"There were probably some translation errors that came from deciphering from four different languages."

"There's no way. Meniko would never mistranslate something."

"Oh, that's some confidence you have in her. You should introduce her to me, that Meniko-san."

"Eh? Ah, all right, well, if the opportunity arises."

"So you're trying to protect her not only from Hitagi-chan, but from me as well... You're way too defensive of the new friend you made in college. It's overprotective."

However, if the crime scene that was recreated was correct, then how did we need to amend the letter's contents?

If the Iie-chan doll escaping from the cage and stabbing the father doll was the correct version of events—

"Then was the one who stabbed the pediatrician father actually Associate Professor Iesumi herself, after being stabbed and escaping from the cage? As legitimate self-defense—"

No.

More correctly—it was revenge.

"—B-but, regardless of a doll doing it to another doll, there's no way a three-year-old without any accountability could kill an adult, right?"

"It would be impossible even as dolls. But she wasn't a three-year-old without any accountability, right?"

She was a twenty-year-old adult.

Declared Hanekawa—and that was right.

In the letter, she had written it as if she'd been a baby for twenty years, but that couldn't be the case... Like how a bound foot can still grow, a person didn't stop growing just because they were raised in a small cage.

As long as they were alive, they would grow.

Just like me.

"But... Hanekawa... Let me just say this one thing..."

I tried to come up with a counterargument as I spoke, but no matter what, I ended up being convinced.

With the words taught to her by her father, she ensnared her father and prayed for him to "kill her" over five years—but what if her ultimate goal was not to simply be stabbed in the back?

What if being stabbed was just a step in the process?

What if her objective was to obtain the knife—it made perfect sense.

And if there was something else that made sense, then the reason her mother fled... It wasn't because she was the culprit that stabbed the father—the only assumption was that she was trying to flee from her daughter's revenge.

She saw her husband killed by her daughter and ran away... She finally gave up on raising her daughter after twenty years of being there for her.

"There's another way to look at the mother's behavior. She's still on the run in order to cover up for the crimes her daughter committed... As long as she herself is on the run as a murderer, she wouldn't arouse any suspicion against her daughter."

"...So there's still love there?"

"A child will grow even without love. Like me."

She spoke rather defiantly.

"After all, whether she was three years old or twenty years old, Iesumi-san at the time could not be held accountable,"

Hanekawa continued.

That's right. Even if it wasn't self-defense, there was no way that case could be judged, whether under Swiss law or Japanese law.

Even if she was a fake teacher who had illegally infiltrated a national university and was a felon who would be imprisoned without probation, she would still be innocent of that one case. After all, who would remain normal after being locked up for twenty years? Even I had given up after just half an hour.

But Associate Professor Iesumi hadn't been given that "normalcy" since the day she was born... It was something she had no choice but to acquire herself, even if she had to lie to do it.

Experiencing the loss of normalcy was something I'd felt countless times... But what would it feel like to never have a sense of normalcy to begin with?

Locked up for twenty years—

"...Anyway, the last thing would be that. The number one mystery."

"Saving the question you want to ask the most for the end... That's a habit you've had since your high school days, Araragi-kun."

"Ah, because I'm a coward. I'm afraid to hear what the answer will be."

"Isn't it because you already know the answer to the question, even before you ask it? But, go ahead. I love it when you ask me questions, Araragi-kun."

"You love... Araragi-kun? If you're going to go that far, I guess I have no choice but to ask my final question."

"I think that joke is going a little too far for our current sense of distance. I'm going to tell Hitagi-chan."

Oof. Gauging our sense of distance was hard.

How does it go between you and Hitagi, Hanekawa-san?

Anyway, now that I've warmed things up with this lighthearted exchange...

"Fundamentally, is it even possible to keep a human being locked up, from when they were a baby, for twenty years—without letting them eat or drink?"

I wasn't a specialist of child abuse, and of course I wasn't a specialist of childcare... Calling myself a man that enjoyed raising children was presumptuous. However, no matter how ignorant I was, I knew that a baby was a living thing that could die from the slightest mistake... A weak existence that could die even if you didn't make any mistakes.

Could that state have been maintained for twenty years?

The fact that her father was a pediatrician wasn't enough for an explanation... Or rather, I could sense from the letter that she was trying to avoid that question by mentioning her father's occupation.

The explanation that the blade did not pierce the heart because it was so thin was almost comical... If she was in such a condition, wouldn't she have simply died from even the slightest amount of blood loss?

It was unclear to what extent Associate Professor Iesumi intentionally or unintentionally embellished that letter... But it could even be a lie that her father was a pediatrician and her mother was a fashion designer for children's clothing. Those occupations seemed to fit too perfectly, as if balloon artists had twisted them into place.

"If you start to doubt that much, you won't be able to trust anything—but at least for that point, I agree with you, Araragi-kun. In Ononoki-chan's words, 'That's the first time you and I have agreed on something.'"

Unlike with Ononoki-chan, that statement might actually be true with Hanekawa... We'd been having a lot of disagreements because of the misunderstanding of distance, so I'd been preparing myself for the possibility that we might not agree even now, but...

"Yeah. I think she turned into an oddity. Iesumi-san herself,"

said Hanekawa, which was a relief... No, the statement itself wasn't exactly something to be relieved over, though.

An oddity.

Just as how the Iie-chan doll became an oddity.

Just as how the father doll, my winter clothes, and Associate Professor Iesumi's clothes and carpet became oddities—and just as how we turned the little bear doll into an eyeball-attached oddity.

If Associate Professor Iesumi herself was turned into an oddity by her parents—then she would be able to stay a baby until she was twenty.

Indeed.

After all, I knew a young girl that was six hundred years old.

I knew a little girl that was twenty-one years old, and a tween girl that had been used for a hundred years—therefore, a twenty-year-old baby wasn't too inconsistent for me.

If she herself was an oddity, it would have been even more strange if oddities didn't continue to form in her territory, Room 333—if they didn't attack the two trespassers like immune cells with self-preservation instincts, I would think that they were actually sabotaging themselves.

It was a natural protection.

That would explain why I, a slowpoke, was able to make it in time—in other words, why Associate Professor didn't die even though she hadn't eaten or drunk anything for a week on the roof of the university.

If she was part oddity.

Then that wouldn't allow her to ascend to heaven.

Because for oddities, there was no heaven or hell.

"Her parents locked her in a cage and used her as a dress-up doll—that's more than enough to meet the conditions for becoming an oddity. I don't know how much of what she said were lies—but at the very least, she herself has no awareness of this one thing. Once she was out of the cage, she wouldn't have had a chance to use her abilities... After all, if she could use her skills freely, she wouldn't have needed to commit any crimes. It was when her crimes came close to being exposed that her defensive instincts began to run wild..."

However... The best example of this was the trespassing that Ononoki-chan and I often did, but weren't crimes basically about skipping due process and cheating to make things easier? It was disheartening to think that Associate Professor Iesumi's blood-soaked efforts were poured into a crime in order to obtain something that should be taken for granted, like human rights.

It wasn't just her parents. The world, the law, ethics, rules—everyone had neglected her.

They'd ganged up on her, and abused her.

Of course, distributing the fault among everybody was just evading responsibility by faking collective responsibility... Not to mention, she probably had people that helped her, too. Of course with regards to her rehabilitation, but her criminal activities would not have succeeded if there had not been someone that showed sympathy to her. However, even someone saying all these sympathetic things like me was probably contributing to the abuse of someone who was trying to make an effort.

Unconsciously.

If you get involved in a different way; if the person was not someone above you; if you were in a bad mood because you fought with a friend; or if you were irritable because you were hungry—you might find yourself saying that she should atone for the crime she committed against her parents, even if she could not be held accountable; or that it was too much to flee the country based on a strange assumption; or that she should have obtained a work visa the proper way even if it took a long time.

Unconsciously.

"Right. Unconsciously. Rather... Yeah, everything was just done unconsciously. Even if she was conscious of the fact that she was her father's murderer and that her mother wasn't really a murderer, I don't think she would admit it... In order to protect the self, she abandoned it—like throwing it away onto the roof. She became so good at lying to herself that she completely fooled herself."

When Hanekawa said it, the words seemed to hold greater weight.

Words as heavy as feathers, from Hanekawa to Hagoromo.

It could be said that she survived by becoming an oddity, but she couldn't be saved from the fact that the source of the passion that turned her into an oddity was her parents' love. The thing that killed her was the thing that kept her alive—so much so that she couldn't even kill herself.

In that case, when I first spoke to her at the lab, she'd seemed like such a solid, decent adult that I couldn't believe she was abusing her daughter—but that was probably because she felt so guilty about her position that she took great pains to make herself seem decent and solid. Wherever I go, it's that same "using misfortune as a springboard" that I hate, huh.

"A cloth oddity—a yokai like the ittan-momen or the shiro-uneri or the nikujuban, perhaps? Maybe the power to manipulate fabric was a talent she inherited from her fashion designer mother. In Scotland, they say that each family has a unique tartan pattern. Well, when I became the sawarineko, it's true that I never had any dreams or nightmares, but it's still troubling that the person herself has no awareness of her oddity nature."

"It's not troubling. It's her only salvation."

Even though she thought she'd finally become human once she escaped from the cage, if she found out that she wasn't—at that point, Associate Professor Iesumi would certainly give up on trying to live.

And I didn't have the confidence that I would be able to stop her then.

"I suppose we've come full circle, and it's time for the specialists to step in... Gaen-san should be able to at least seal away her powers," I said.

That would be best.

I thought I'd successfully been able to break things off with that friendly onee-san, but it seemed my debts continued to increase... Since I no longer had the opportunity to pay off my debts, a ridiculous amount of interest kept piling up.

At this rate, I'd be forced to pay back a huge sum of money after graduating from college. It was little too late to realize that I'd been set up... But since she could wait as long as four years, I guess she really was an adult. Even though she was dressed like that.

A solid adult, huh.

"Speaking of specialists, Araragi-kun, the fact that you paired up with Ononoki-chan from the start this time surprisingly ended up being the best match. Nice badi—if it had been a 'replacement child' or a 'moving doll', it certainly would have been out of Ononoki-chan's area of expertise, but an immortal oddity is right in her strike zone, isn't it?"

That was a pretty fresh point of view.

It may be a bit rough to describe Associate Professor Iesumi as an immortal monster, but considering her track record of "not growing up" and "not dying" over a period of twenty years, it would not be an exaggeration to say that she had eternal youth.

In that case, we had better get it taken care of before Kagenui-san finds out—that violent onmyouji of justice might be the only one who would enact judgment upon Associate Professor Iesumi, for the crime of killing her father.

What in the world could have happened in the past to make her dislike immortal oddities so much...? Would the day I learned about it ever come? Was it related to the curse she received for creating Ononoki-chan?

"By the way, Araragi-kun. Now that we're on the topic of Ononoki-chan, are you going to tell me any time soon? You've managed to smoothly set it aside, but what happened to Ononoki-chan after that?"

Regardless of whether or not the topic of Ononoki-chan was brought up, Hanekawa somewhat forcibly placed the trolley on the rails of the corpse doll... Many things had happened in high school, but there shouldn't have been any direct contact between Hanekawa and Ononoki-chan.

What an admirable class president, worrying about a tween girl she'd never met.

Compared to that, I was good for nothing.

I'd said that I planned things out, but in reality, I just put it off because it was hard to say... Because, as her client, I felt a sense of responsibility for the treatment she received.

"When Ononoki-chan created that eyeball-attached bear doll... That oddity, it seems Gaen-san got angrier at her than I imagined. She scolded her so much that I thought even the expressionless Ononoki-chan would start crying. I said 'more than I imagined', but I can't even begin to imagine it. Gaen-san snapped."

"Th-that Gaen-san!?"

Hanekawa wasn't acquainted with Ononoki-chan, but she was certainly acquainted with Gaen-san, so even she was taken aback—I was finally able to succeed in shocking Hanekawa.

Surprise.

If possible, I would've preferred to shock her with how much I'd grown—but, well, I understood how she felt.

There had been times where that onee-san had gotten mad at me and scolded me before, but she'd never snapped.

"Even though she didn't even yell at me when she saw me with a reference book that had pictures of an older woman that looked like Gaen-san..."

"Learning that fact makes me want to yell at you for it, Araragi-kun, but I don't have the authority to do that right now, so I'll just stay seated and keep listening. So what happened to Ononoki-chan? Don't tell me... She was disposed of?"

Hanekawa half-smiled and said it as a joke, but honestly, it wouldn't have been weird if that had happened—but rather, you could assume that Gaen-san unleashed her fury for the sake of avoiding that "disposal".

If it had been Kagenui-san that found out about it first, then as the "owner", she might have had to dispose of her shikigami... As Ononoki-chan had said, Kagenui-san was responsible for everything about her, including killing her.

If Gaen-san only flipped out as part of an exaggerated performance, then that would certainly be a kindness that was "typical" of her... But her style of using kindness and anger as tools of communication was rather incompatible with me.

But I'm sure that Gaen-san was defending not only Ononoki-chan but also me, so I had to approve of her way of doing things this time... Especially if I had to ask her to ensure that Associate Professor Iesumi was rendered harmless.

Maybe it was about ten billion yen?

The amount of debt I owed to Gaen-san.

It was as if Hanekawa, who had finished repaying her debts, passed me the baton of the debt king... A helpless relay.

"...Then, Ononoki-chan received a scathing lecture, but got off scot-free after that?"

"No way. Naturally, Gaen-san thought that a visible form of punishment was necessary, so for the time being, the problematic eyeball was confiscated from her."

I never thought she'd actually become an eyepatch character... It was way too visible, Gaen-san.

And, that wasn't all.

Rather than the confiscation of her eye, which would surely be returned to her when things calmed down, I would say this was a much bigger "disposal" from my point of view.

"The order was given for her to withdraw from the Araragi household."

"Hmm. Hmmm. Hmmmm?"

"A restraining order was issued against me and Shinobu... And she was told to leave her current assignment immediately. In other words, this is the end of her long freeloading lifestyle."

It would be a lie if I said that I wouldn't miss her.

But she had stayed for longer than I'd expected... She started in February of this year, so about half a year?

It was another clever thing that Gaen-san was able to do. By punishing her, she was able to relieve her of her current duties... Instead of being sent to the penalty box, she was probably on her way to her next job. She probably couldn't keep such a talented shikigami by my side.

By my side, with no problems at all.

"I see... I'm glad she wasn't disposed of, but I wonder if the restraining order meant that Gaen-san realized the danger of keeping Ononoki-chan in the Araragi household, since she's an oddity that's easily influenced by her surroundings."

"She'd have known that all along. Since she's an onee-san that knows everything... Although you're making my house sound like a danger zone."

"But it is a danger zone, the Araragi household. It's full of land mines, and as land mine committee president, it's not something I can leave alone."

Were you actually called the land mine committee president?

As for me, I was optimistic that this meant that the probation period for Shinobu and me was finally over... But the commander's resources and strategy were yet unknown.

Her true intentions surely numbered three, or four... Or even a hundred or two hundred.

"And so, I gave Ononoki-chan a hug goodbye."

"You didn't really hug her, right?"

I didn't.

I didn't even get to say goodbye... Perhaps she inherited the personality of Oshino Meme, who wasn't good with goodbyes, but after explaining the situation, the corpse doll departed from the house, as if she were only taking a break to go and buy some ice cream. It wasn't like I wanted her to leave in a flashier way with "Unlimited Rulebook"—well, I didn't want Ononoki-chan to leave in the first place, flashy or otherwise.

But, it's fine.

It wasn't like we were saying goodbye for good.

In a hundred years, we'll bump into each other somewhere.

"Nevertheless, after being relieved of her duties, on top of losing one of her eyes, I'm sure Ononoki-chan will be tasked with something even tougher than living in the Araragi household... It's pretty rare to get an ending where nobody's happy."

"Too bad. I guess that unraveling the mysteries didn't serve as much of a distraction. But I didn't come back to Japan just to see you all depressed, Araragi-kun."

So, shall I bring you happiness?

Said Hanekawa with a roguish smile.

Like that of a cat.

"What a vicious joke. You can't just go and misunderstand our sense of distance now. Regardless of whether I was influenced by Ononoki-chan, if I were a land mine, I would've exploded. Should I let Hitagi know?"

"It's shocks me to hear that you're taking it as a joke. I'm a specialist in helping you, Araragi-kun, don't you know?"

"A specialist in helping me... What a crazy specialist. You're not my babysitter. Well, if you insist, then all right. I'll take advantage of your generosity and let you help me."

"Have you thought about it? After locking you in the cage, where could that flying blanket have gone?"

"Dunno... If it was just Associate Professor Iesumi that turned into an oddity, and the stuffed doll was just one of her thralls, then I imagine it would run out of time at some point and turn back into a blanket—on the other hand, if it were recreating what happened, then wouldn't it be in Switzerland by now? Like its mother, who came to Japan to escape from her mother."

"Or perhaps, she went to visit Iesumi-san in the police hospital, sleeping as though she were dead—"

"To strangle her?"

"—To drape over her chest like a blanket, as though it were a baby snuggling up against her mother."

"...Hanekawa, that's..."

It was the most untenable hypothesis she'd made today—it was untenable, as a hypothesis, and even as just an idea.

It was almost repulsive.

Who in the world could relate to such a forced and contrived "happily ever after"? If "there are no parents that don't love their children" were words that contained no love, then "parents are everything to children" were also words that contained no love. Even if it's a baby's instinct to cling to the mother—it seemed like a much healthier wrap-up to have the blanket slowly strangle her.

"There's no way. For people like us, who are far from being bedtime stories... Did we ever once see such a happy ending that was so meaningful?"

"That's exactly why it's about time something like this happened. If the simulation doesn't pursue ideals, then reality will only get worse, you know?"

I suppose so.

Associate Professor Iesumi had been thorough in her simulation of the reality she knew, which was why she'd failed in both her marriage and her child-raising. As long as you learn from reality, you can only bring forth reality... It was an endless cycle of reproduction.

Even if it wasn't there, even if she didn't want it, what she needed to have were ideals.

Even if it's run-of-the-mill to aim for the best and end up with the worst—if you don't aim for the best, you won't even reach the next best.

"But, even if you say that, it's too—"

"No, no, I'm being completely serious. I'd like to think that I'm contributing to a world like that. I want the Iie-chan doll to stop the negative cycle of abuse begetting abuse. I want it to be able to clearly say 'no' to this unacceptable reality. Just as Iesumi-san wished."

Despite being given the name for "helping", it's something I was unable to do[?]—said Hanekawa.

"Now, time for a multiple-choice question. Choose the one you think is the correct option, Araragi-kun,"

she said, as though she was recalling being my private tutor in high school.

"Choice A. While Hitagi-chan is away, secretly go on a date with me without any aftermath. Choice B. Go with me to visit Associate Professor Iesumi to check if the blanket is there. Now, which do you think is correct?"

"...I was wondering what you'd give me, but it seems the difficulty of this is C."

I'm saved.

With those two choices, there was no way I could get it wrong.

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threeeyesslitthroat · 4 years ago

Text

So I watched Chaos Walking(2021)

Yeah, lucky for me, my local theater was open and showing(side note, I love my local theater so much. Like, not to brag but seven dollars for a movie and a snack is so great)

Anyhow, I watched Chaos walking. This is sort of my review.

First off, I read The Knife of Never Letting Go and one third of The Ask and Answer, almost two years ago. When they finally dropped the release date and the trailer, i made the choice not to go reread the first book because i wanted to give the movie a chance and make an exercise of managing my expectations(in preparation for Disney’s Percy Jackson adaptation). Which means not only do I not have a complete understanding of the source material, but I also have a shit memory, so I don’t have a great shot at analyzing this films in adaptation terms, but i’m gonna try anyhow.

So first off, The Noise.

I found it a bit sketchy that they decided to make the make Noise have visual elements alongside audio but I decided it was fine, since it be pretty hard to bring this to life with only just audio and not make general audiences confused.

But they did try and do a solid job. Minus not letting us hear the Noise of animals, which sucks. we do see the Noise of a Spackle, but briefly.

The part that really pisses me off is the final confrontation, when the Noise is treated like a Super Power. we see this when Todd scares Davy’s horse by conjuring up an image of big snake, when Mayor Prentiss tricks Viola into a false trap, when Ben tricks everyone by pretending to give Viola up when in fact he’s buying Todd and the real Viola time to get away, and in the final, Todd distracts Prentiss by conjuring up the image of his mother(complete with bloody wounds) and the various women that died when he was a baby, which caused Prentiss to fall to his death.

I don’t know how the Noise is depicted in the later books, if it was anywhere remotely like this, but i know for sure it doesn’t happen in the first book, which the film is based on.

(Also, how the fuck does Todd know what his mum looks like, or any of the other women and how is he able to bring up their images so perfectly how is ANYONE ABLE REMEMBER SOMEONE WITH THAT MUCH DETAIL That goes beyond photographic memory)

Second bit, the Spackle.

The design is boring. Its clearly an alien, buts its dark grey, tall, holds its own when Todd attacks it in the film, has zero impact on the film as a whole and pretty boring. I do recall reading the book and imagining them to have faces similar to real world lemurs or Sloths, with big expressive eyes and such, but the CGI monster doesn’t emote for shit in this film. Todd comes at with a knife with every intention of killing it and it shrugs him off and walks away like it wasn’t fucking attacked my gods.

But in short, they only brought up the Spackle because they’re a thing in the world and it teased the bigger concepts of the next books with like, one measly exchange between Todd and Viola. (it went something like this)

Viola:We’re the aliens, though. They’re the natives.

Todd: huh.

Third bit, New World itself. Not a big deal, It looked like how i originally imagined it, no mention of swamp apples, though we see Todd Hewitt use a knife to stab a big ass bug thing for food. i hear some critics consider it lame that the planet isn’t actually alien but eh, whatever, Didn’t really feel an alien vibe reading the book so it doesn’t matter.

Now there’s one bit i have to acknowledge in passing. At one point Todd decides to go get lunch by going into the water with his knife and wrestles with some big ass thing with tentacles. Which is fine, just have a couple of questions.

A: is this in reference to the books? Where there big ass tentacle creatures in the novel that are hunted for lunch?

B:if not, was this the film makers deciding to remind the viewers that yes, they are not on planet earth and to make Todd look cooler and justify why he’s useful for the quest and show how much Viola doesn’t know?

I kinda have to acknowledge the thing. In that scene, Todd and Viola take a break, and Todd removes his clothes (all of them) and decides to go hunting in the water naked as the day he was born. You may have noticed that the Tom Holland stans are all over this scene because One) the camera focuses on Tom Hollands muscles when he takes his top off and Two) one can see his bare ass in the distance.

Not a big fan off this, just find it interesting because its the most recent example of a Male being objectified by the camera when this never happens once to any of the female characters in the film, including Viola. Also, a touch of weird character detailing because haha, get it? Boy’s never seen a girl before in his life and doesn’t know what modesty means.

Also, very weird because Todd Hewitt in the book was so fucking self conscious that he would never have done that.

Now I gotta talk about the characters.

( i understand why they aged them up, i truly do, better to get established actors instead of child actors that could more easily break to movie than sell it. its easier to make movies with legal adults instead of working with child labor laws. but damn it you lose so much of the fucking nuance of the novel when you age them up. There’s so much shit that makes an impact because of how young they are. Around the ages of eleven and twelve is when ones understanding of good and evil has its foundation, to me it was like the story was grappling with Todd Hewitt’s very soul and you lose so much of that when you change it to them being older because instead of being just kids in fucked up situations its younger adults in messed up situations. Like ugh. and aging them up leads to even more problems but we’ll fucking get to that)

Tom Holland’s Todd Hewitt is not the Todd Hewitt of the novel. He just ain’t. There is nothing there that reminds of the boy. The acting is solid, don’t get me wrong, but it just ain’t the Todd Hewitt i remember. Neither is Daisy Ridley’s Viola Eade.

(excuse me while i get Percy Jackson flashbacks)

Now, I have to acknowledge the fact that neither actor(actually none of the actors in this film) slouch on the job. They bring solid and at times very good acting.(If Tom Holland is in the film, its not going to be complete waste of time. He brings quality.)

Honestly, respect to Mr Holland because he was basically the main character, not only acting but also doing voice and various stunts(also huge credit to the stunt coordinators and stuntmen) and I heard that filming wasn’t that great and bloody broke his nose how many times like damn boy, hats off to you.

But here’s the thing. I don’t want to say that Holland was playing himself or just a version of peter Parker, because i really don’t think he wasn’t but it just. Didn’t feel like a legit character? Especially when compared to the novel. Like Todd Hewitt in the novel is such a raw force of emotion and such a smartass and i was so looking forward for Holland to own this role but in the movie he just? Awkward dude going through some stuff?

but yeah, Holland works his ass off and there are some scenes and moments in the movie that work just because this fellow is just that charming, so (shrug emoji) like i said, He doesn’t waste your time at least.

Ridley....sigh. i know this woman can act. But next to the character who’s thoughts are heard constantly she’s very boring. And it hurts so much because Viola has an actual personality in the novel like; I’m ninety percent sure that Viola hits Todd with a big stick and I do remember that there were multiple moments where she lets Todd know when he’s being a dumbass.(seriously, i may have a shit memory of the book, but i do remember that they play off each other well and hugely entertaining seeing two twelve-year-olds handle the shit getting thrown at them)

Like, Viola in the film doesn’t really have much going on. We see the crash, we hear about the graves she dug herself, we see her be sad, we see her look at Todd like weirdo, we see her look horrified or shocked. (its so sad that I only remember the facial expressions more clearly than the actual dialogue) We really have no idea what the hell is going on with Viola Eade. I don’t think we can blame Ridley, only the film makers, because how can you see Viola Eade in the novel and then turn her into that????

i do have to talk about the relationship between Tom Holland’s Todd Hewitt and Daisy Ridley’s Viola Eade, even though its painful. In the novel, them is just two kids on a really tough adventure. Because they aged them up, its not two kids old enough to run for the playground when recess starts. Its Teenagers.

First question, HOW OLD ARE THEY??? Is Todd sixteen? Eighteen? Seventeen? He sure as hell ain’t Thirteen in this. What about Viola? I mean, big shout out to the hair and makeup team for making 28-year-old Daisy Ridley look so much younger but how. OLD. IS.SHE? Nineteen? Twenty? Twenty-one? Pretty sure she’s older than him in this? I ask because it MATTERS.

The way they play off each other has a vastly different energy to the novel because they are aged up. Its pretty obvious pretty fast that Todd’s feelings are basically a big crush, though not all of it is superficial as the film progresses. And Viola is clearly not receptive to that in the film. (honestly i cringed so hard at the “daydream kiss’ and whatever the hell that was in the Farbranch mayor’s house)

The relationship in the film just doesn’t have the nuance or the energy that the novel had in depicting their relationship which is depressing for all the Todd x Viola fans i’m sure. There’s some adorable bits though, like Viola seeing Todd’s dream of her playing with Manchee, and not so adorable canon bits like when Viola read the diary to Todd.

I’m just grateful that the film at least ended with them being friends instead of trying to force the romantic relationship. That right there is why I like the movie. It’s a crush, its used for a couple laughs, they’re friends, its fine. Even if you didn’t read the novel that’s really great for a movie in this day and age to not end with forcing two opposite sex characters into a relationship. To be honest, I like the idea that the film leaves us thinking that yeah, maybe these two could be real friends one day.

I just want to touch on Manchee real quick.

Manchee’s Noise is not seen or heard in the film. It is briefly acknowledged by Todd ins their first scene but other than that? Nada. Which is a low blow in comparison to the novel because Manchee was a character in his own right, which is why the death hit so hard.

Todd?” he barks, confused and scared and watching me leave him behind. “Todd?” “Manchee!” I scream. Aaron brings his free hand towards my dog. “MANCHEE!” “Todd?” And Aaron wrenches his arms and there’s a CRACK and a scream and a cut-off yelp that tears my heart in two forever and forever. And the pain is too much it’s too much it’s too much and my hands are on my head and I’m rearing back and my mouth is open in a never-ending wordless wail of all the blackness that’s inside of me.”

in the film, it takes place in white rapids, So its chaotic, its awful, the veiwer’s all stressed out because Viola can’t swim, everyone's getting separated and Aaron’s there and he is seen drowning Manchee.

Dude, its brief, but not pretty. Because you can see Manchee’s legs trashing above the water, struggling to get free. Aaron is drowning a dog, letting its lungs fill with water. For the folks that don’t like watching dogs die in graphic detail on screen, this isn’t great.

Personally, I love this scene in the novel. Its the first time i had to put the book down and take a moment. It hit really close to home for me, because i watched my own dog die in real life. It was emotional and horrifying and had such a fucking impact because we could hear his thoughts. Todd had to make the choice to leave him behind to keep Viola safe. To be honest, i think the death is better in the novel, since Manchee basically dies instantly instead of drowning, which takes time(I’ve always assumed that his neck was snapped but I’ve heard others say it was the psine but whatever) it would have been easy and necessary for them to not show that on screen. I personally just think that in terms of depicting a violent death, the novel did a lot better.

Anyway, on to the other characters

(I had to choose the one with the big orange fluffy coat, and i couldn’t find a good pic og Ben and Cillian on google images.)

As for Mayor Prentiss, he’s played by Mads Mikkelsen, and he delivers. But for the most part, we don’t really know why he’s the bad guy, he just wants to get Viola because “she’s the key” which isn’t really explained, and at the end he tries his hardest to kill Todd.

Because i only read the first book, I don’t know what exactly his character arc is. And since its been a really long while, I don’t remember what he’s like in the novel regardless, other than the cliffhanger ending.

I did take a quick crashcourse through the wiki and it turns out that Todd and Prentiss have a relationship in the later books, which the film sort of touches on, because Todd looks up to Prentiss in the film from the get go.

To be honest, I knew that the trilogy was a lot more complex, and even though I didn’t read the whole thing I knew it would be really disappointing for the fans to see the mayor be hollowed out to almost unrecognizable and not getting to see the whole picture on screen.

As for Davy Prentiss Jr., he was an asshole and stayed an asshole. I know he improves and gets killed off in the novels, so yeah, exhibit B of character foundations not being laid down because there isn’t gonna be a movie after this. Also, why is he played by Nick Jonas? Did they actually have more in mind for him when they decided to go with a Jonas brother or was it just star power?

As for Aaron...don’t have much to say about him, other than just being pretty weird fit to the film. I think he’s after Viola because he’s just that full of delusions but other than that, his character is just flat and useless. (I wish to the gods that writers would actually think instead of going with “religious delusion” to explain insanity) He only brought tension in a few scenes for the most part. I’m pretty sure that in the novel Todd and Aaron have a confrontation, like the final fight of the novel, and I’m 90% sure that its where the Novel gets the Knife of never Letting Go as its title, because the knife is big deal at that point. But I guess they wanted Viola to have a quick boss battle for the ending and set him on fire.

Ben and Cillian were fine. They did a good job, the actors were pretty great, I liked Cillian, and i like how they acknowledged that these dudes were family(i know that they’re gay and a couple but the film doesn’t say it outloud beyond letting them sleep in the same bed, be Todd’s parents, and having Ben hold Cillian in his arms) I get a kick out of the fact that the official reviews by Movie Critics are openly curious about why the film doesn’t make it more obvious that they’re gay, but whatever.

As for the overall plot, this is a fine example of mashing three books into one film and not having good results. Instead of going to Haven, the movie decided to shortcut the ending and go to the original ship that somehow has working tech but whatever, Viola needs to communicate to her ship. So not only do we not get the great relationship between Todd and Viola, not only do we not get the Spackle, Not only do we not get to see the noise of Manchee, not only do we have poor character adaptation, we also don’t get to have a plot that matches THE ONE BOOK THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO ADAPT. THEY HAD ONE FUCKING JOB AND THEY COULDN'T ADAPT THE ONE BOOK-

Its only so sad that they decided that this was going to be a one-shot deal because they didn’t have faith in the film and chose to have all the threads tied up. I mean, its so sad for the fans because the movie makes it very clear that we are not going to have anymore movies. sigh.

slight respect towards the film makers for tying up all the story threads instead of leaving them hanging. they did a neat job, even if it wasn’t a great one.

Anyway, maybe later on when google images has more than the promotional material I’ll do a review of only the good stuff this movie did, even if its a sad pathetic failure of an adaptation. Anyway this review is a bit of a mess and already so long so i’ll stop now.

May the gods give us strength against all the Tom Holland stans that will inevitably clog up the Chaos Walking tag with their Todd Hewitt x reader fanfics.

#Threeeyes speaks for once #messy film review #took forever to do this #i truly do feel for the Chaos walking fandom #As a Percy Jackson fan #I can only say #First Time?#Chaos Walking #Knife of Never Letting Go #Tom Holland 2021 #Daisy Ridley 2021 #Viola Eade #Todd Hewitt #Chaos Walking 2021

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crashingmeteorz · 5 years ago

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more jinjetsongko headcanons because i’m still quarantining so what the heck else am i gonna do.

shout out to @azenkii for coming up with this and supporting my nonsense. also considering calling them the ba sing se bimbos, please share your thoughts.

so like. it’s pretty clear song can handle herself, and even as they’re getting rid of the body, jet is telling her about their group and what they’re doing. song’s in shock, because murder’s not something she’s ever done (but something her mother has always prepared her to do), and so she just is kinda like “yeah, okay, i’ll join, whatever, but does the smell of death ever leave your nostrils or does it stay there forever?”

“it fades,” he tells her happily, slinging an arm around her shoulders, “but don’t worry - you’ll get used to it.”

zuko wants to punch jet in his stupid handsome face because they can’t have the girl he STOLE FROM in their stupid gang but he can’t TELL ANYONE so he’s just bitter about it until song reassures him that it’s okay, he’s forgiven.

despite her capacity for violence, song does not Vibe With It, so she ends up acting as a lookout most of the time. there are other drugs, ones that just put people to sleep for a while instead of killing them, and she tends to use those on any suspicious parties.

if she’s ever in a serious bind, though, she carries a set of needles hidden up her sleeve. just because she’s the least Down with Murder doesn’t mean she isn’t down with it at all. she’s not a freaking narc.

jin previously was Not Down with Murder but when you hide a dead body you have to very quickly Get Down with Murder or Get Gone, so she gets down with it. everything else about her friends (arsonist, terrorist, deadly apothecary) quickly becomes categorized as extremely normal because otherwise her brain would explode.

best asset is her knowledge of the city, and the fact that she can get information from anyone, anywhere. she’s got more street smarts than any of the “country bumpkins” as she affectionately calls her friends, and she puts this skill to good use.

she wants to be able to fight, too, and since both zuko and jet wield dual weapons, that’s how she learns.

(plus, the idea of all four of them being dual-weapons wielders is cool and fun so i’m running with it)

she steals away into the small trunk of family heirlooms that sits hidden beneath a floorboard in her building, and procures two sickles her father used during his time on the farm. interestingly, theyre about the same size and weight as the kyoshi warriors’ fans. if jin were to ever find herself amongst the kyoshi warriors, she’d probably fit in. just a thought.

jin, like jet, is unrefined and fights dirty, but it works and gets the job done. zuko fights with honor and fury. song is light on her feet, and her goal is mainly to get the fight over with. all in all, they make a good team.

obviously, iroh and song’s mother adopt them all. jin is the natural favorite, being genuinely likable and funny, and also the most normal. iroh is also still hoping she’ll marry zuko one day, and song’s mother basically sees any teen girls she meets as someone to be Cherished and Protected anyway.

jet is definitely the least favorite but is also Begrudgingly Beloved by the adults. both iroh and song’s mother are too smart to fall for his slick words, but they find his efforts to be charming endearing. plus, they both know boy soldiers when they see them, and it’s hard for them not to want to be a parent to a kid who’s been through so much.

song and her mother love teasing zuko and iroh for their past encounter. song’s usually the one teasing iroh, and he takes it in stride, always offering her free tea and treats and dramatically begging her forgiveness in a way that absolutely makes zuko sweat bullets. song’s mother is the one who teases zuko, but he’s so awkward and weird about it she just ends up feeling bad and giving him an extra serving of dinner, which jin and jet loudly protest.

all three teens have a different version of a backstory for zuko and iroh. they’ve all shared their lives with each other, except for zuko, and no matter how much they pester iroh he insists it’s not his story to tell.

jin works the circus angle for a loooong time, knowing full well he was full of shit when he said he was in the circus, but hoping to make zuko perform increasingly ridiculous stunts so as to vindicate himself. he draws the line at the tightrope, and gets weirdly quiet about it, so she drops it.

jet thinks zuko was in the war, which is how he got his scar. he assumes zuko and iroh are so poor because they didn’t get any sort of compensation for their part in defending the earth kingdom, which is just what he would expect from their “government”, or as jet calls it, The Man.

song assumes zuko got his scar the same way she did, when the fire nation invaded his and iroh’s village and probably took his father away, too. she also assumes this is what’s hardened him to the world, and is glad he seems to be loosening up a bit around his friends.

jin is the closest, believing zuko and iroh to be deserters of the fire nation, but she guesses they’re from the colonies. she also definitely thinks iroh’s earth kingdom (you can’t live in ba sing se and love it THAT MUCH without having a little earth kingdom blood in you. no way no how). she assumes that zuko got his scar for his treachery, that he left the fire nation because he believed it was Evil. secretly, she believes he’s incredibly brave.

after the war, zuko casually mentions that he got his scar from his father.

“your what now?” jin asks in disbelief. my father, zuko tells her. he recounts the war meeting, the agni kai, all of it.

“and your father, the ex-firelord, he did this?” song asks, deadly calm, messing with a few vials of something Very Dangerous and Very Painful.

“the ex-firelord as in the ex-firelord locked up in the capital prison, that guy did that to you?” jet asks, just as calm, sharpening his hooks. zuko says yes, not sure why they’re being so weird.

“we’ll be back later,” jin tells him. “we have to go do something totally unrelated.”

it takes zuko way too long for the penny to drop because by the time he catches up to them they’ve knocked out half the prison guards and are screaming about vengeance.

(secretly, he’s touched, but he wishes he’d learned his lesson because he goes through the same thing with sokka and katara about a month later).

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 masterpost

#zuko said i am looking for a family and if i cannot find one i will create one.#what do i even CALL THEM #tentatively #the ba sing se bimbos #jin #jet #song #zuko #jinjetsongko #atla #my stuff

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miathecinnabunny · 4 years ago

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Space AU and Time Travel for Juke 👀 <33

Holy shit holy shit holy shit ok ok ok ok first of all AKDBJSJSJJEJE YES

Okay okay so let me try to iron out the mess in my head skxbjsjjd I hereby apologize if things get out of order or whatever but I am literally vibrating with excitement someone please write this I'll love you forever

Ok so I'm thinking also an aged up au for ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* reasons *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ sjsnnsn

Also, I've done this before and I'm gonna do it again, but Bobby and Trevor are two different people for the sake of the timeline here.

Time frame for this would be WAY into the future. Humanity has gone galactic. We also had our asses handed to us by several alien planets but we probably deserved it. Anyway, after we got rid of Elon Musk, we eventually made peace with the aliens and now roam the galaxy freely. 20-30yo generally try to get into a different fleet, just to learn about other races. Think all those alien ships adopts a human posts.

Julie, Carrie and Flynn are my three girl geniuses. They're like,,, the smartest people in every room. They've been like this since freshman year of college. Julie, Carrie and Flynn also all want to get into the student exchange program, which is exactly what you think it is. Alien races (and this now includes humanity) swaps out older students with each other so they get a feel of what the other race is like. It's fun, educational, and! You get to make super long distance pen pals!

I'd also have so much fun making up new memes???? It would be so fucking stupid tho but I love it.

Anyway, so after a few years of jumping through the exchange programme, hoping from planet to planet, unfortunately, without their bestfriends :<, the three of them qualify to board research ships!!!

So at like 23-25, my girls come back together on the same ship!! Its a massive thing and so they've hired so many interns from so many different races. It's like a landing hub for several smaller ships. They have like 10 interns per species and that's only because there are laws against having too many of one kind after they put 50 humans on a space station and the humans tried to take over. Also, humans multiply faster than the others. This terrifies some races.

Anyway, the ship's really just a bunch of college kids from different planets trying to avoid exam season by submitting research papers from their ship. They all bond over deadlines, breakups and coffee (or the alien equivalent thereof)

Flynn dated an alien girl for a while. They were cute. Flynn: as a lesbian, it's my duty to date all the women in space

This is also where they run into Willie!!! Yay, Willie!!!

Nick Danforth-Evans and Kayla Evans-McKessie are around ... somewhere ... in bunk beds like the little toddlers they wish they were, crying about the 15 page essay on why Xjsbsjdjd is a very intelligent race that we could learn a lot from (yes, that is a keysmash I'm too buzzed to be creating alien species names sjdjjdjd)

Carrie and Nick do date for a while but then Carrie hooked up with Kayla. Bisexual queen who?

Julie met Willie that time she didn't sleep for over 48 hours because she had a research paper due within a week and she hadn't started yet and it was 10 000 words on her experiences with the Psjxjjdkeiwj race. Luckily for her, the kid she bumped into and spilled an energy drink all over had the same paper and helped her finish it. Willie sometimes goes by the nickname Lifesaver, thanks to Julie. This confuses the metaphor-less people because Willie's never saved anyone's life?? So why is he a lifesaver??

ANYWAY ON TO THE TIME TRAVEL BIT

On their own, Julie, Carrie and Flynn are professional smart people who know what they're saying and are clever enough not to do things with too many risks. In the same room, however, they turn into dumb geniuses who can and possibly may blow up the entire ship. It's a good thing they have Willie, Nick and Kayla to babysit them, right? WRONG. Willie Kayla and Nick egg them on.

They decide there going to gather all the information there is on time travel and they're going to decipher it and make it work! Yay!

When they find stuff in alien languages they start calling up their alien pen pals "hello what's this word mean in this context? What, haha oh no, it's a research paper on why time travel projects were abandoned before completion. Okay, thank you!"

Before long, they have a working time machine. I mean,, they hope so. And so they enter a random date from the past and prepare to pop their heads through just to see what the world looked like approximately 200ish years ago

2020s, post covid because that exists for joke reasons later, Sunset Curve is performing live for one of their biggest audiences yet when mid-song, the floor just opens them up and swallows them whole before vanishing. The crowd things it's a stunt but Sunset Curve's managers are flipping their shit

Back on the ship, the machine starts sparking and with a soft boom and a hiss, the power in that quadrant goes out -- not before Willie's is pelted in the face with a pair of drumsticks and then a whole person.

It's a miracle the drums survived the trip, pet alone everything else.

So now these sleep deprived geniuses and co. have to hide three people and several musical artifacts, plus the smoking remains of a time machine, from their Supervising Officer, who is regrettably, a human too.

And none of them are very good at lying.

Luke and Bobby are though, and after piecing together bits and pieces from the frenzied rambling around them, Luke and Bobby save the group.

Shenanigans ensue as they try to rebuild the time machine under the watchful eye of the SO, while trying to mantainbfake credentials for the boys and trying to explain their very dated clothing. (Yes, Sunset Curve STILL rocks the 90s vibe. In the 2020s. It's their thing.)

Willex happens in the background -- and I mean that very literally. (Jukebox having a tension moment, Willex making out in the background.)

Honestly I'm not sure yet how theyd solve the problems, whether they'd send the boys back or not or what, but I do know that they will all cause a BUNCH of problems in between.

Sometimes they play music just because they still can. Sunset Curve becomes a house band for the ship. They get broadcasted to neighbouring or passing ships like "hey, losers, we have live music, SUCK IT!"

Focusing on the jukebox aspect of this whole fic, that's gonna be a fucking hilarious slow burn.

It will definitely contain the lines "Oh my god, I have a crush on Julie." "Congratulations, you're officially the last to know." "What? Even [SO's Name] knows??" "Dude. The ship's navigation crew knows." "Does ... Julie know?" "No, you're both morons."

Julie is having the exact same conversation four hallways away.

They'd talk a lot about sending the boys back home and it'd be really quiet conversations when everyone else is asleep.

Julie and Luke write music together and after a while, Julie performs a few of them too. Thanks to the concerts, they meet the other human interns that were on the other end of the ship and Carrie and Kayla form Dirty Candy.

The ship becomes known as the party bus.

A thing that will happen: Luke helps Julie write one of her history papers that she gets an A+ for and a comment about how dedicated she was to have delved so far back in the history records to get authentic insight.

Julie and Luke speak in memes but they don't speak the same memes and it drives them both up the wall.

Luke says yeet one day and Julie's soul leaves her body because she hasn't heard anyone say yeet since she was a toddler back on Earth.

Julie: odd display, but acceptable.

Luke, physically experiencing a record scratch: what the fuck did you just say

That is all I have to offer because I'm afraid of plotting further and causing angst somehow.

oh one more thing, someone gets to bang an alien and it's probably Flynn.

Oh oh oh another one more thing. Reggie says "this is just like in Star Wars" for literally anything. The band goes along with it for shits and giggles. The rest of them are very interested in this ancient tale called Star Wars. Reggie sees a picture of Flynn and her green gf and says "hey, you dated photoshopped Yoda" and Bobby just loses his shit.

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #julie and the himbos #julie and the fat ones #jatp fic idea #ask #ask meme #thanks for the ask!#trope mashup ask #long post

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letarasstuff · 5 years ago

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I like it

A/N: Ok ok, this is like my first Poe Fic (and Star Wars tho) ever, so please don’t be mean to me :c Also, English isn’t my first language

Summary: After having your whole family slaughtered by the First Order, Poe takes you in. Suddenly the base gets attacked by them, when he is not there. How will he react?

Warnings: Language, mentions of death, anxiety, panic attack and bad grammar

father figure!Poe Dameron x Teen!Reader

On your homeplanet there weren't many options to make money. You are either good with mechanics and motors or you look good enough, that the greasy men like you. As one can say, you were lucky.

Your parents owned a workshop. This isn't anything unusual, given the fact there is one at every corner in the bigger cities. But yours was the best. You don't wanna sound cocky, it's just the truth.

So your mother and father taught you the inside of every thing, that has a motor. Before you were even able to form a proper sentence, you could repair any ship on the planet. Still you had a nice childhood, playing with the kids in the neighborhood, going to school and learning new stuff. You are happy to say, that your parents did a damn good job at giving you the best memories a kid can ever have.

But anything good comes to an end, so does this. You were 14 years old, when the First Order came down to your homeplanet. Even though your leaders weren't that nice people, they still refused to be in an alliance with them. Initially they wanted to stay neutral in the war, but as soon as they declined the offer, they tried to get into contact with the Resistance.

Unfortunately, they were too late. When they got their pilots on your ground, nearly everything was burnt down. They swarmed out to look after survivors. Even though they did their best, they couldn't find anyone, who has a beating heart. The sight was heartbreaking. This once living planet was now the aftermath of the First Order's wrath.

The pilots gave up eventually. Nobody agreed to it, but they didn't have many options. The last one to leave the planet was a man, who is known as the golden boy of the Resistance. Poe Dameron. Especially to him it was unacceptable to leave this planet with bare hands.

So he started a last desperate attempt and looked into one of the most destroyed buildings. He shoved a bit of rubble to the side, when he saw a leg. Hope began to rise inside of him. Quickly he put another rather big piece of rubbish to the side to expose a face. It was a young kid, their eyes are closed.

Poe rushed to their side and checked the wrist for a pulse. The sigh he let out, when he felt a light one, has to be the loudest the galaxy ever witnessed. Happy to be the messenger of good news, the pilot told his squadron about his found. All of them cheered, it was kind of a miracle for them.

Now they have to act fast. Poe picked the kid up and rushed them to his own ship. He knew, that a team of nurses would take too long to get to the both of them. So he put them on a seat and secured them with the belt. He was quick to make his way back to base. He told the ground team about the only survivor and let them prepare a team of doctors and nurses to help the kid.

Luckily the kid made it. Just a few broken ribs, a concussion and a few bruises were what they got as a punishment for their leader's decision.

You are a lucky kid.

You spent a few days unconscious in the medical wing, before you woke up to a steady beeping. To be honest, this noise really got on your nerves. So you opened your eyes to be met by blinding lights. After shutting and re-opening them you got used to it. Then you had the time to take your surroundings in. There were a some machines, that monitor your vitals. Seemed like you were still alive. But why were you here?

Out of all sudden it hit you. The First Order attacked your homeplanet. Your parents, who tried to bring you into safety. Then another missile hit the building and everything goes black. What happened to them? What about all your friends, neighbors? Where were you?

Your breath began to quicken. The beeping got faster. This added to your panic and made you more and more frantic. Your throat tightened as did your chest. Everything seemed to break over you and you don't know what to do.

Then you feel another presence. The person put their hands on your shoulders and spoke in a calm and warm voice:"Hey, hey. Breath, ok? Just take a long breath in, hold it and let it out slowly. Try to feel the way it enters your body and leaves it again. We can get through it, but you have to work with me here, buddy."

You do as the someone told you and mimicked their breathing as they showed you the exercise. Your breathing steadied again as did the beeping. Finally you were able to face them. The person, who talked you through your mini panic attack, has dark brown locks and brown eyes. There were also the shadow of a beard on his jaw.

"Better?", he asked you and gave you a glass of water. After savouring every last drop of it, you answered:"Yes, thank you..?" "Poe, Poe Dameron. The Resistance's best pilot." Well, this is an introduction only he can do.

"Then hello Mr Dameron. I'm (Y/N), the best mechanic my age you can find in the whole galaxy." Actually, you were never the person to be cocky around strangers, but with this Poe guy it felt right at an instance.

"Hello (Y/N), just call me Poe and if you want to address me by my last name, do it right. It's Commander Dameron." "Thank you for this information. Where are my parents though? Why are you here, not them? Also no offence, but it seems pretty weird to wait for a random teenager to wake up."

The first answer were a sigh. He explained the whole situation to you, even though he didn't want to be the one to bring the bad news. Your only reaction was crying. You felt so many things at once and this was your only way to let it out.

While holding your crying form, Poe promised himself to take care of you from now on. He partly did it, because he felt like it was his fault, that your family was dead. If he was there earlier, he could have saved them. But the other part was you. Even though he only knew you for a few minutes, he felt a connection. Now it's upon him to protect you.

And he does keep his promise until the very day. The both of you share a room, you and BB-8 get super good along, he helps you to make yourself a name as the best mechanic the Resistance has to offer. Hell, he even teaches you how to fly an X-Wing. To say he is impressed by the skill you already have is an understatement. But neither he nor Leia allow you to tag along missions until you old enough. This also counts for training and wearing a blaster.

One time you ask Poe which age this should be. He answers with:”It’s the same age you are allowed to kiss somebody.” It is this moment, when you realize, that you will never be old enough.

It is another rather calm day on the base, which is quite suspicious. The First Order hasn't pulled any stunts recently. Still everybody has something to do, except for the majority of pilots. There aren't many missions for them now, That's why Poe sits next to you, while you repair an astromech. "And then I saved the whole galaxy", ends the older man yet another of his heroic stories. "Again", you add with an eye roll. He nudges your shoulder with his own and exclaimes: "Well, somebody has to do it!" Laughing you tighten another screw and knock gently on the astromech's head.

"Now you are all done, buddy. But be more careful next time while playing with the others tag, ok?", you speak softly to BB-031. Happily she nods and drives off to her pilot. You turn back to Poe. "When do you have to leave?" "Not in another two hours, that means we can grab lunch together. It's just an abandoned outpost with new activities. I don't even think that this has something to do with the First Order", he reassures you.

You sigh. "I know, but still. So many things can go wrong and I don't wanna be alone again." The both of you walk towards the mess hall. The brown haired man throws an arm around your shoulder. "We are soldiers, as sad as it may sound, it's the truth. We have to keep in our mind that death is always right beside our side. But as long as you are on this base, you will never be alone. Leia is going to take care of you. Always."

You look up to him and smile, a warm and fuzzy feeling bubbling inside of you. The last time you felt like this was with your parents at home.

Before he boards his X-Wing, Poe gives you a last hug and says:"Be good for Leia, ok buddy?" "This sounds like I am four!" "Well, when I think about it, you are like a four year old!", he jokes. With a pout you punch his arm. "Good luck out there and come back in one piece or else I hunt your dead ass down!"

When the Black Squadron left the hangar, you turn back to your own work and get totally engrossed into it. It's just you, your tools and the project infront of you.

That is until a blaring alarm sounds over the speakers. Confused you look up, only to see everyone in the hangar running around like chickens in panic. People throw stuff into bags, others finish their work up hastily and the remaining just run out. And you don't have a kriffing clue what's happening.

You try to stop one of the other mechanics. But to no avail. Nobody wants to explain the situation to you. But then you see the reason for all the commotion:

Outside at the sky are countless TIE-Fighters and it won't take long until the first one reaches the ground.

You begin to scramble and run, but get pushed into a cart with tools on it. With a loud yelp you land on it and get pocked and cut by wrenches and such. Again, nobody pays attention at you. The own safety is the only present thing at the moment.

When you hear the TIE touches the ground, you get up as quickly as possible. Even though your legs hurt from the fall, you run like your life depends on it. And it does.

The hangar is deserted. No pilots, no mechanics, no one is there. Expect for you. You can hear the stormtrooper enter the building, while you dash for the gateaway. Their steps are getting closer and closer. It doesn't take long for the enemies to spot you. Sooner as you want, you have to dodge shots from behind. But this isn't your only problem.

As a kind of safety guard the gateaway closes. You run faster than you ever did before. A quick look behind you tells you, that there is a stormtrooper too close for your liking. So you reach into your utility belt and throw the first thing you can grasp at him. Turns out it's one of your favorite wrenches, but it's not the time to mourn the loss. Saving your own life is way more important right now.

When you are close enough at the gate, you throw yourself on the floor and slide under it before is closes completely. But there is no time to catch your breath. You make your way through what feels like the whole base to get to the safety ships.

When you finally reach them, there's only one left. Leia stands at the entrance, looking for someone. As soon as her eyes set on your form, she seems relieved. The General grabs you by your arm and drag you inside the ship. Once you left the base, she pulls you into a hug while scolding you: "Never ever scare me like this again, (Y/N)!"

The Black Squadron is already on the new base. The news of the attack were spread fast to them, so they were quick to react. After your ship's landing the hatch opens. You emerge out of it into a crowd of nervous, scared and clamouring people. But there is one voice shouting, that stands out.

"Where is my kid? Where are they? Has anyone seen my kid? (Y/N)?!"

It's Poe, who is looking for you. You try to make the direction out from where he shouts. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you see his dark locks. You push your way over to him and so does he, when he catches a glimpse of you. As soon as he is able to he pulls you in for a hug.

Poe strokes through your hair and makes it a mess, but you can't care less. "I was so scared, that I lost you, kiddo." "I'm fine. I'm fine", you assures him. "I don't care, let us get you to the medical wing, kid." "Ok, Dad."

"Did you just call me Dad?"

"Yes, I did."

"Well, I like that. Love you, kid."

"Love you, too, Dad."

#star wars #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron #father figure!poe dameron x reader #father figure! poe dameron x teen!reader #x reader #x teen!reader #poe dameron x teen!reader #fanfic #fanfiction #please be nice c:#i'm a small bean c:

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t4bi4-and-b4ba · 5 years ago

Text

Tsukishima Kei ~ Gone Too Far

Fluff & angst

You were captivating. But even that word did little to describe you. You were enthralling. Magnificent. Ethereal. Astonishing.

Even with Tsukishima’s enhanced vocabulary, he was completely stumped on how to describe you. The minute he looked at you he was simply entranced.

You carried yourself with grace and class. You walked with the utmost confidence every single day with your shoulders squared. But, even though you held yourself to such high respect, you also showed high respect to others. Which caused you to be liked by many. Nothing but compliments would fall from people’s lips when you were the topic of conversation.

You also had brains along with your beauty. You spoke with vocabulary that rivaled Tsukishima’s. In his eyes, you were the complete package as you had plenty of trophies from debate and tennis to back up your academic career tucked under your arm.

“So, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi started, causing the blonde to reluctantly tear his eyes away from your figure, “once this project that you and y/n are doing is turned in, are you finally going to ask her out like you said you would?”

Tsukishima didn’t want to babble with you merely eight feet away about how he was nervous of rejection and feeling like a total failure. Like, who was he kidding? You were out of his league. And it wasn’t like you would believe him if he did ask you out. Everyone believed that Tsukishima Kei was incapable of having real emotions.

He simply scoffed at his friend’s question, readjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder. “Yeah, right. Like I could be seen with [first and last name] around school. Pfft! Please, don’t make me laugh, Yamaguchi.”

Yamaguchi’s eyes widened in shock at the tall man’s uncharacteristic rudeness. He knew his friend was blunt and teasing but never downright disrespectful. His eyes glanced at movement behind the blonde, his cheeks flushing slightly. “Uh, Tsukki, don’t you think you’re going a little far?”

“I could ask you the same thing from asking me that ridiculous question. Like, come on, Yamaguchi! Let’s be a bit sensible, yeah? I mean, y/n and me? Dating? What an outrageous idea to entertain.”

“Really? An outrageous idea?” asked a familiar voice.

Crap.

Tsukishima turned around so fast that his backpack almost smacked Yamaguchi across the face. The lengthy man couldn’t stop the startled expression from being revealed on his face. His golden brown eyes were wide; his pupils shaking as they took in your blank expression. He could tell that you were upset, though, as your eyes snitched on how you were truly feeling on the inside.

You took a deep breath, momentarily looking off in the distance before striking Tsukishima with a piercing stare. Despite the height difference between the two of you, the boy felt like the smaller one.

You had your arms crossed as you carefully chose your next words. “Well, we sure wouldn’t want that now would we?” A small smile stretched across your face but it did nothing to lower the flames in your e/c eyes. “Good thing we’re just partners on this project, huh? Would be absolutely revolting if we were anything more, right?” Your eyes lost a bit of their hardness, holding sadness that Tsukishima wanted to wish away. His stomach felt tight with knots.

He knew in that very moment that he went overboard. Even he knew that he was acting ruder than necessary. And the worst thing is is that you were the victim of it. You were the one who was wounded.

You didn’t know what else to say to the blonde boy standing before you. But you knew you had to say this: “Today I don’t feel well so we can resume working on this project tomorrow after school. Alright?” The question had a bit of a bite to it as you began to boil the more you stood before him. How you wished you could really say what you were thinking. How you wished to hurt him like he just did to you. To take half the knives his words stabbed you with and throw them at him with spite dripping from the blades.

But you didn’t. Like the good girl that you were, you simply internalized the hurt and anger you felt as you stood your ground with a serene expression on your face.

Tsukishima stopped looking at you as he dropped his head, looking a bit deflated but you could honestly care less if you could. How was he acting like the one hurt when you were the one he talked about in such a negative light? When all you have done was show him hospitality when he came to your house? When your mom prepared snacks and fruits for the two of you to share as you completed this project little by little? How could he really stand before you with a morose expression on his boyish face?

You didn’t bother waiting for his answer, your blood boiling at such a high rate at the moment that you knew you had to hurry yourself out of there. So, with your windbreaker thrown over your arm, and your backpack secured on both your shoulders, you turned on the toes of your heeled boots and sauntered away. Only until you exited the school did you let the first teardrops fall before the dam would completely break the minute you stepped into your bedroom.

Tsukishima, on the other hand, had to continue his day like he didn’t just coldly hurt your feelings. The tightness in his stomach didn’t loosen once as he practiced with his teammates as the image of your sad eyes haunted him.

~🌙~

The walk to Tsukishima’s house was silent and awkward. Because you were still heated from what happened yesterday, you didn’t really want to stand too close to the blonde. So you found yourself walking five steps ahead of him. In that moment, you were irritated that you were so conscious of the space between the two of you.

Tsukishima noticed instantly, but he kept his mouth shut as you knew the way to his house from the multiple visits thanks to this project, along with the fact that being close to him still angered you. So, he simply followed after you with his eyes trained on the cement under him.

Once you two arrived, you jumped right into business. You wanted this project to be done more than ever, which contradicted with the idea of you and Tsukishima taking the process one step at a time so you two could spend as much time as possible together. But for obvious reasons you couldn’t dream like that anymore.

“Okay, so, in all honesty, I think we can complete all remaining tasks today,” you stated, pulling your laptop and notebook from your bag.

Tsukishima blinked at you, his eyebrows knitted together. If yesterday never happened, you would have fought yourself from swooning. “What do you mean?”

You blinked back at him before sighing. “I mean, that we could get this project done with today. And then we have the whole weekend and Monday to ourselves and then turn it in Tuesday.”

Even though it was a dumb question to ask, Tsukishima willed himself to ask anyway. It was the only way he could think to open the conversation to address the elephant in the room. “Why do you want to hurry to get this done when we still have plenty of time?”

You looked at the man with a deadpanned expression. Like, was he messing with you? You knew he wasn’t dense so why was he acting like it now?

Tsukishima sighed heavily, closing his eyes momentarily as he gathered his thoughts. He really didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, nor talk about you in such a nasty way. Like what was he even thinking when he decided to pull that stunt with you not that far away?

He took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Listen, y/n. I didn’t mean to hurt you yesterday. I apologize for the way I talked about you.” He put his glasses back on, daring to look at you.

You had your arms crossed, the same blank expression on your face that you had yesterday. Your eyes, this time, didn’t give away a single hint on how you were feeling internally.

“So, what did you mean to do, Tsukishima? Huh?” You sounded tired. Worn out. Tsukishima blamed himself for that. You must be emotionally exhausted. Guilt punched him in the gut and twisted his intestines.

“I...” He inhaled deeply, averting his eyes but speaking clearly. “I was hoping to ask you out after we submitted the project in hopes of still being able to be close to you.” He saw in his peripheral vision how your head swiveled as your eyes went wide. “But I got nervous when Yamaguchi brought you up with you being so close by. I just didn’t want to risk rejection with everyone around if you so happened to overhear us. So, I went for the most toxic option known to exist. And you ended up wounded.” His golden orbs focused on you, taking in your gentle face as it no longer held coldness. “Because of my idiotic way of thinking, I hurt you when all I wanna do is care for you and protect you. And I am nothing but sorry to you, y/n.”

Your shoulders dropped, letting out a shaky breath. You never saw the man before you look so vulnerable and apologetic. Heck, you never heard this man utter such a genuine apology to anyone. All the tension and anger you have been holding since yesterday melted away before you noticed. You simply sat next to the boy you’ve always had fond feelings for, even if you were trying hard to shake them off for a day and a half.

You sighed lightly, slowly reaching for one of Tsukishima’s hand. He gave it to you with no hesitation. That warmed your heart.

You kneaded the soft flesh as you mulled over what to say next. You looked into the boy’s eyes, which glowed with hope and pleads for forgiveness. You licked your lips before parting them. “You really need to better express yourself when your nervous.”

Tsukishima looked dumbfounded by your response, completely not expecting you to say that after everything he just put on the table. But he didn’t see anything false with what you said, so he chuckled. He nodded his head as he peered back at you, a gentle smile on his lips.

You brought his hand up to your lips and gave it a sweet kiss. You brought it back down to your lap and focused your eyes back on the gentle giant’s face. It was dusted with baby pink as he let out an airy chuckle.

He then brought his free hand up and wrapped it around the back of your head. He eased you toward him, having your forehead rest against his. From this proximity, you could see the dark flecks scattered along the gold within his eyes.

“I really am sorry,” he stated in a hushed tone, wanting nothing more than to tell you how apologetic he felt.

You hummed with a growing smile on your face. You lifted your head and kissed the tip of his nose. The blush that never left his cheeks darkened as he was taken by surprised by the affectionate act. His expression softened as a lazy smile formed on his pink lips. The hand on the back of your head began to stroke your hair.

“I know,” you responded. “Let’s not make a repeat of this, yeah?”

Tsukishima shook his head, his forehead rubbing against yours. “Never.”

From then on, you two completed the project with light hearts, gentle smiles and (not so) secretive glances. You did complete the project that evening, but only because Tsukishima shyly suggested going out on Saturday.

“We don’t need this project hindering our plans,” he expressed, his eyes focused on the rubric. You smiled happily as you squeezed his knee.

“You’re right,” you assured him.

And how right he was as he devoted the day to you, having you completely forget the incident that almost drove you two apart. Oh, how right it felt to be with him from this day forward.

#queuded #haikyuu!!#haikyuu tsukishima #tsukishima kei #tsukishima angst #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima imagines #tsukishima reactions #tsukishima scenarios #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu reactions #haikyuu scenarios

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