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hermajestyimher · 5 months ago

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How do I stop letting depression/anxiety control me and how I view myself? I’ve gotten better, but I just feel like my appearance has so much control over me. I am black, but I’ve just been so insecure of my nose and it being on the bigger side, especially compared to other black women (this isn’t to out them down or anything! I think they are absolutely beautiful people and I love them :D). I just feel like I’ve been dealt such a bad hand in life by being unattractive and that all my hardships especially with my relationship with others (romantic and platonic) just stem from me being/feeling unattractive and being a naturally awkward person doesn’t help. I constantly day dream about being a woman like Anok Yai or even someone with the sort of energy as Mia goth. I don’t want this to turn into some pity post, but I want to be able to be beautiful while also replacing this awkward personality of mines. This feels super childish and all over the place, but I just feel a little lost with myself and who I am.

So TLDR is: How do I become/start feeling attractive and become a more confident and charismatic person? Thank you and Im so sorry for the messiness of this post!

Hi my love, it sounds like you need to do a lot of self-concept work to change your internal dialogue and improve how you see yourself. It's essential to build a strong foundation of self-worth and confidence that isn't easily shaken by external influences. Here are some practical steps you can take to begin this transformative process:

1. Eliminate All Forms of Negative Stimuli

One of the first steps in enhancing your self-concept is eliminating the stimuli that contribute to self-doubt. This involves a thorough examination of what you consume daily, whether it’s media, people, or experiences. Start by unfollowing individuals and accounts on social media that make you feel inadequate or pressured to conform to unrealistic standards. Pay attention to how certain songs or films make you feel; if they perpetuate feelings of self-doubt or insecurity, consider removing them from your playlist.

It's crucial to be mindful of what you're feeding your mind. Often, we internalize negative messages without realizing it. These can come from people who appear close to us or through entertainment that subtly promotes insecurity. Perform a detailed assessment of who you’re listening to and determine if their influence is healthy. If not, create distance, whether that means unfollowing them online or spending less time with them in person. Surround yourself with people and content that uplift and inspire you rather than bring you down.

Pro Tip: Make a list of accounts, shows, and songs you consume regularly, and categorize them into “Positive,” “Neutral,” and “Negative.” Actively replace those in the “Negative” category with something positive.

2. Surround Yourself with Positive and Aspirational Content

After you've cleared out negative influences, it's time to replace them with content that uplifts and inspires you. Look for media and role models that align with your aspirations. This could mean following influencers who promote body positivity, self-love, or healthy lifestyles. Find women who embody the qualities you admire and whose lifestyles you aspire to emulate.

Comparison, when used wisely, can motivate us to strive for more. Instead of comparing yourself to others out of insecurity, use it as a tool for growth. Observe the habits, routines, and mindsets of those you admire, and learn from them. Incorporate their positive traits into your life in a way that feels authentic to you.

Additionally, consider expanding your social circle by engaging in environments where aspirational people frequent, such as networking events, workshops, or fitness classes. Being around people who have achieved what you’re aiming for can provide real-life inspiration and show you that your goals are attainable.

Pro Tip: Create a vision board or digital collage of people and things that inspire you. Include images, quotes, and achievements you aspire to. This visual reminder can be a powerful motivator.

3. Reprogram Your Mind with Positive Affirmations

Changing your internal dialogue is critical for improving your self-concept. One effective method is using subliminals and affirmations, which can help rewire your brain with positive messages. These techniques work by bypassing the conscious mind and directly influencing the subconscious, gradually replacing negative beliefs with empowering ones.

Find subliminal audios or affirmation tracks that resonate with you and your goals. For instance, if you're working on self-confidence, look for recordings that focus on self-assurance and self-love. I recommend listening to this one for about 30 minutes daily, ideally in the morning when you wake up or right before bedtime when your subconscious is most receptive. You can find a variety of these resources online, just be careful to read the comments before listening to ensure the affirmations are safe and vetted by others.

As you integrate these practices, remember that consistency is key. Regular exposure to positive affirmations will slowly build a new mindset, one that's more aligned with your true worth and potential. You can also use affirmations to help change your physical appearance as well.

Pro Tip: Write down a set of personal affirmations that resonate with you. Repeat them to yourself every morning and evening as a daily ritual. This practice will reinforce positive beliefs about yourself and your abilities.

4. Improve Your Physical Health

Taking care of your physical well-being is a vital aspect of boosting self-concept. Exercise regularly, not just for physical benefits but also for the mental and emotional gains that come with it. Engaging in physical activity releases endorphins, reduces stress, and builds self-discipline, all of which contribute to a stronger sense of self-worth.

Create a balanced workout routine that you enjoy and can stick to consistently. Whether it’s yoga, running, weightlifting, or dance, find what resonates with you and keeps you motivated. Pair this with a nutritious diet that fuels your body and mind, helping you feel energized and confident.

Remember, discipline in maintaining a healthy lifestyle not only improves your physical appearance but also enhances your mental resilience and self-discipline. These are foundational qualities that contribute to a greater sense of life satisfaction and fulfillment.

Pro Tip: Set realistic fitness goals and track your progress. Celebrate small victories along the way to stay motivated and recognize how far you’ve come.

5. Cultivate Self-Acceptance and Reject Self-Pity

Finally, the ultimate goal is to cultivate a mindset of self-acceptance and reject any form of self-pity. Pity is a toxic emotion that disempowers you and feeds into a cycle of negativity. Recognize that your worth is intrinsic and not solely dependent on external validation or appearance.

Understand that you have the power to transform your life through consistent effort and self-belief. Your value is not determined by how you look or by the opinions of others, but by your inherent qualities and the actions you take to improve yourself. Embrace the fact that you are wonderfully made, unique, and deserving of love and success.

Pro Tip: Practice gratitude daily by acknowledging your strengths and achievements. Keep a journal where you write down three things you are grateful for each day. This practice will shift your focus from self-criticism to self-appreciation.

Remember that the journey to a positive self-concept is ongoing and requires patience and commitment. As you embark on this path, know that you are not alone and that every step you take towards self-improvement brings you closer to becoming the best version of yourself. Keep your head up, stay true to your values, and be proud of the person you are becoming.

You are not lesser than anybody else; you are wonderfully made, and you should be glad to be who you are.

#asks and answers

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inariporkka · 7 months ago

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The New English Art Club Annual Exhibition 2024 is online right now (link here), so I wanted to go through it and share my picks with you guys.

The online exhibition is set up mainly to sell art, so there is very little information about the works on the website. There are no descriptions or artist's statements, so we are going purely on my vibes here. The selection and arrangement is also mine, so this post is in essence a mini-exhibition curated for you by me. I'm gonna call it:

State of the Art

A Curated Selection from The New English Art Club Annual Exhibition 2024

(Image descriptions in alt-texts.)

We start with my absolute favourite, "Natural History Museum, Oxford" by T. F. Ashley. (Link)

Pro-tip for any aspiring curators: you always lead with the strongest piece. If this was a physical exhibition, this would be on the poster, this would be hanging on the main wall of the space.

I am the kind of person who prioritises drawing over everything else in art. I don't mean drawing as a medium (though that is important to me too), but as an element of art. And this piece - while obviously being made in a drawing medium - also manifests the kind of drawing that I think is important. To me that kind of drawing is almost like thinking with a pencil in hand, making a thought process visual, visible.

This piece also has that elusive quality of looking tactile. I live a very digital life, and I have chased that vibe of "digital image that looks like you are touching it" for a long time - and this image nails it.

I am also drawn to this image for its content, as I work in a museum so the picture is relevant to my professional interests, too.

Rest of it is under the cut, because I am considerate of y'alls dashboards.

Landscapes

First we will have a landscapes section. Landscapes are not usually particularly divisive, so it's a safe choice to lead into an exhibition with them. They also have the power to be familiar: the viewers of the exhibition might know the place depicted in the works. Or, since a lot of places on Earth have similar vibes, a place might remind someone of a different place.

Melissa Scott-Miller: "Waterside Cafe, Little Venice" (Link)

For example this painting reminds me of Coventry, where I used to live, because Coventry has a river running through it, and the river has these kinds of narrow houseboats on it. I never had the opportunity to visit one, so this painting makes me feel some kind of a nostalgic longing or remembering a missed opportunity.

It leads us to the next painting: "Boating Central Park" by Ruth Stage. (Link)

This painting is done in egg tempera, which is not an easy technique, and knowing that appeals to me - I enjoy examples of humans being good at doing difficult things. The image is also beautiful. It doesn't look like anything I have ever seen. Like, I can get vibes of influences, but it doesn't feel like I have seen paintings like this a lot in my life. Also grey is my favourite colour.

Next we will have another unique-looking landscape, "Estate - The End of the Affair" by Andrew Torr. (Link)

The geometric shapes and planes of colour are approaching abstraction without crossing over to it. I also really enjoy mundane things being given the art treatment, because making a painting does elevate its subject, still. The area depicted in the image looks like somewhere people like me might live, in a way that "fancy" places don't, because I'm not rich or fancy.

Taidg O'Malley: "Piazza del Campo Rooftops, Siena" (Link)

Another landscape approaching abstraction, with the additional layer of an unusual point of view. I just really really love this, it is so inventive, and especially when "Siena" is the name of a place but also the word for the colour that is the most prominent in the image. The artist is using the medium of the painting to pass on that insight they have had about the association between the name of the place and the name of the colour, and it feels fantastic to be receiving that insight. For my personal art practice sharing insights and pointing out things I have noticed in the world are central motivations for me, so all sorts of synapses are firing for me right now.

And lets pair another high up view point with the painting above:

John Duffin: "W1A - BBC and All Souls Church, Langham Place" (Link)

This is an etching, which is a kind of print where you scrape the image onto a metal plate with a needle. I love a fine line and you don't get much finer lines than with etching. I also really love all printmaking. The mood in the image is also top notch, very dramatic and powerful, even ominous. The light is almost like a frozen explosion, and the tall buildings make me think of Batman the Animated Series. I also really like the use of the postal code in the title. Not sure why, but it's cool, interesting, I like codes.

We will continue the fine lines and meticulous details idea here, with Neil Pittaway's "Brunel City". (Link)

Something about the colours and the details done in white hark back also to the egg tempera painting of Central Park, but this one is a drawing done with pen, ink, watercolour, and "body colour" (???) The image is delightfully Inception-esque, and I really jive with this way of depicting a city.

We follow it up with "Wiener Jugedstil Palast" by the same artist. (Link)

More of this incredibly enjoyable line work depicting the kind of architecture I (and a bunch of other people here on Tumblr) like.

Portraits

It leads us neatly to our next segment: Portraits. Portraits are also nice and friendly for viewers, because we are humans and we know how to look at pictures of other humans. Of course the depiction of humans does bring in the possibility of viewer (and artist! and curator!) bias, bigotry, and sense of propriety (what if someone is naked? what is appropriate? where do we draw the lines?) so we run a slightly bigger risk by introducing the human element to our exhibition.

We start with Frederick Jones and "Hidden" (Link), as it carries a similar visual language as the above drawing.

This wood engraving might not be a portrait in the strictest sense, considering the person is obscured, but I don't subscribe to the idea that we can be identified only by our faces. Also the Rene Magritte vibe is strong here, and who doesn't like a good Magritte.

Michelle Maddox: "Self Portrait in the Studio" (Link)

Another portrait with an obscured subject, with nice geometric-ish surfaces of colour (check out those circles and semicircles on the twigs in the vase!), which this time add to the Magritte vibes.

Charlotte Sorapure's "The Lepidopterist's Dream" (Link) introduces another layer of surrealist inspiration with the trope of the reflection in a mirror reaching out. The vase with plants connects this one to the previous painting too.

The objects in front of and reflected in the mirror seem normal enough until you hang on a moment exploring the image and begin to notice that some of the butterflies have alighted onto mirrored images of flowers.

Then we use the profusion of flowers and butterflies as our link to the next painting, where the background has a profusion of organic elements.

Julie Held: Self Portrait (Link)

Something about the strangeness of the composition appeals to me. My eyes explore the background, trying to figure out what is going on (is it upside down?) before returning to the awkward, sketch-like figure in the corner.

Next up is Barbara Leidl's "Dominic (and Bird)". (Link) We continue the theme of limited palettes.

I love earth tones, and the bird on the figure's shoulder is absolutely perfect. The use of outline with minimal shading works so wonderfully well here. It's the drawing again.

Paul Gildea: "Boy with Necklace" (Link)

A slightly impressionistic treatment, which is an enduring trend in contemporary painting, but the subject punches it above the mass. It makes me slightly uncomfortable, because the subject seems so beautiful but vulnerable and uncomfortable too. My sense of propriety doesn't quite know what to do with this image.

Maxim Langford: "Arnold" (Link)

The shifts in value, light and line work in this one are incredibly satisfying to see, they scratch some kind of an itch for me. Also I am very partial to profiles, I just think profile portraits are the most interesting and beautiful.

Shadi Vahabzadeh: "The Daughter of the Sun" (Link)

We are once again nearing abstraction, and here I particularly like those pattern fills on the skirt and the vase, and the lighter area in the background. They connect well to the way the shirt and hair of the previous drawing were also only sketched out as shapes.

Shanti Panchal: "The Book of Revelation" (Link)

This one combines together a lot of elements that I find particularly enjoyable: the profile view, the combination of line art and subtle shading, surrealist influences, and even the combination of the yellow sofa and the grey background is right up my alley (because I run an aesthetic blog for the colour grey called @grey-in-color and my friend does one for yellow called @marigoldserenity and one year Pantone chose grey and yellow as the colour combo of the year).

And we close the portrait section with a painting that is only dubiously a portrait (though every foot fetishist worth their salt will tell you that you can recognise a person from their feet).

Sharron Astbury-Petit: "Reclining with Venus". (Link)

It connects to the above painting in several subtle ways: the style of line art and shading is similar, there are nude figures in both; but also the contrast between the flat grey background of "The Book of Revelation" and the profusion of colours and organic shapes in "Reclining with Venus" - which one might expect to find in a painting inspired by Indian miniatures. I also really enjoy the subtle touch of the bird tattoo on the ankle, which matches the busy vibe of the background.

Still Life

The next segment is paintings of objects, still lifes. We'll start with William Pierce's "Trainers" (Link), which carries us nicely over from the previous image of feet.

Here too the vibe is nearing abstraction and sort of impressionistic-ish, but what can I say, a trainer (sneaker, running shoe, tennis shoe, whatever you call it) is such an iconic object that it just always works.

Jason Line's "Bric-a-brac" (Link) also has shoes in it, and a similar sketchy feel.

I also find this perspective kind of strange and interesting, looking at things from above, as if they are laid on the floor. Like logically I reckon that is a table, but to me the feeling is of floor for some reason.

The next painting by the same artist continues the floor vibes: "Still Life with Shell" (Link)

But here more than the weird perspective vibe, I love the colours. Look at all that amazing grey, which is accentuated by the pink shell and the blue bottle (it's called "@grey-in-color" for a reason).

Claire Venables: Recreating the By-Product (Link)

Similar vibe here, with the way the shapes work, and with the colours. This is aesthetic manna for me. Also blue is my wife's favourite colour, so I do pay more attention to it due that. The subject is also fascinating, it is not common to see science as the subject in visual arts, especially in traditional mediums like painting.

Agata Smolska: Arrangement in Yellow (Link)

And here we have grey and yellow meeting again! But I just really find any and all colours in the same image with grey to be really compelling. Everything goes great with grey. The subject is also another great example of elevating the mundane, with paper cups and napkins (and a lemon for some reason? What are they serving?)

Misc

We finish this exhibition with a grab bag of paintings that don't quite fit any of the above categories. Which I think is important, you always need to have space for things (and people!) that don't fit into your neat little labels.

First we have "Not Forgotten" by Aidan Potts (Link) which could be a still life, or a portrait of a flower. That's actually something I have thought about a lot, plant portraiture.

By now you know my thing well enough to see it right away: I am here for the grey and the colours. I also love the challenge of the title, because a plant growing in a crack in the sidewalk is pretty near to being forgotten, despite still fighting. Which reminds me: Free Palestine.

Toby Ward: Bike Repair Station (Link)

Here again appears my beloved line art with lively flat areas of colour, and the elevation of the mundane. But I also love the subject matter, because bicycles have been important to me throughout my life.

And last, "The Bar at The Bull" by the same artist (Link).

We finish with a painting that I can't quite explain what it is I like about it, because it just goes straight into my feelings without passing Go. It reminds me of something that I don't have anymore, even though I never had it. This one for me connects to Harpo Marx and how important he is to my life, but the connection is too convoluted to try to explain. But what is more useful to explain is the fact that this connection exists and is the reason I am drawn to this painting. Because there's no way the artist was making this painting thinking that I would connect to it through some convoluted Harpo Marx connection.

Instead this painting being the finisher in my little online exhibition is an illustration of the fact that we see in art what we bring to it as much as what the artist and the subject bring into it. We mix it all together in our brains and get some sort of experience out of it. And that's pretty much all there is to art. It is a form of communication you cannot achieve with any other form.

Thank you for reading/looking, I know that was a lot and I did it mainly for myself, but I'm glad you were here along for the ride.

#art #visual art #contemporary art #painting #drawing #printmaking #exhibition #online exhibition #curated #curator #curation #The New English Art Club #art exhibition #curated selection #curators on tumblr

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elicathebunny · 10 months ago

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Be yourself.

I see too many kids transform themselves from sweet children who barely did anything wrong in class, to those mean and stuck up ones who constantly disrupt and are rude to teachers. I recognise that some people are just like this, but i’ve literally witnessed first hand people changing completely to get into/join that group. I was also one of those people and I was quickly humbled before things progressed too far 😭.

Here are some lessons I’ve learned from surviving a British public secondary school + other gained knowledge

1) You will find your group of people as long as you keep remaining yourself, these friends will be the friends you can be authentically you around

2) Don’t change yourself to be anything your not, this will not end well and invite company that you don’t even fit into

3) Keep being yourself and you will find like minded people, once you get to yr10 your friend groups will finalise and will most likely be smaller. The less friends you have, the more easier it is to connect and be yourself with

4) Look into possibilities of hobbies and interests to understand yourself better. Join clubs/extracurricular activities (in school or out of school). Research at home things you might possibly be into, learn new things online

5) Who cares if people look at you weirdly? Honestly if your having fun being yourself and people look at you strange for doing so then that is their problem (obviously within reason because sometimes ppl are just weird fr)

6) Care about your future, focus on what you want to achieve in the years to come. Don’t dumb yourself down for anybody, listen to your teachers when they are genuinely just trying to teach, don’t be difficult and stop others in the class from learning just because you don’t want to, don’t skip class (from year 9ish to 10 onwards, those years contain important content for your GCSE’s and missing out on those will impact your grades) don’t be like the kids from my school who celebrate having 1s (a grade one is a ‘U’ or ungraded, you need a 4 to pass)…

7) Have aspirations, don’t just aspire to do the lowest of jobs for simplicity or out of laziness. Strive to work towards your goals, have dreams! Keep motivated to do well, study and always aim high

8) Don’t do what you know you wouldn’t actually do if you didn’t feel pressured or influenced.

9) Don’t change yourself or stress about boys. The wrong ones are a waste of time and extra stress. Don’t force yourself onto anyone and I mean this because there are people who honestly are too obsessed for their own good with men and do not care if they are relationships or not 😭(you can tell I am a witness of this one). Honestly pray for the right one to come to you, no matter how long it takes, I promise one will just slide into your life just like that 😣 (Speaking from experience). Just be normal around them and if they don’t like you for letting out the side you only share when comfortable then they are not the one, trust

10) Find and invest in a unique personal style. This helps define you as a person, knowing what you truly like that isn’t sculpted by social media or heavily influenced by others around you (although it is perfectly fine to like those styles too! You can merge them to make them more you). This does take time though, break out of those aesthetic boxes and just wear whatever you like. Get Pinterest and put everything in a board so it’s easier to look at.

#self improvement #dream girl #self growth #student life

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writing-advices · 2 years ago

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Should I study over the summer? A guide for college students

The arrival of summer brings visions of relaxation, adventure, and a break from academic responsibilities. As a college student, you may find yourself questioning whether it's necessary or beneficial to study during the summer months. This guide aims to help you make an informed decision about whether you should study over the summer, considering various factors that might influence your choice.

Assess Your Academic Goals: Start by evaluating your academic goals and aspirations. Consider the following questions:

Do you want to maintain a high GPA or improve your grades?

Are you pursuing a competitive major or planning for graduate school?

Do you have any courses or subjects you struggled with during the previous academic year?

If your answers indicate a strong commitment to academic excellence, dedicating some time to summer study might be beneficial.

2. Reflect on Personal Motivation: Self-motivation plays a crucial role in successful summer studying. Ask yourself:

Am I disciplined enough to stick to a study schedule during the summer?

Will studying over the summer help me stay intellectually engaged?

Do I genuinely enjoy learning and want to explore subjects beyond my regular coursework?

If you possess the necessary motivation and enthusiasm, studying over the summer can be a rewarding experience.

3. Consider the Nature of Your Courses: The type of courses you are taking or planning to take can influence your decision to study over the summer. Here are some scenarios to consider:

Prerequisite courses: If you have prerequisite courses to complete before advancing in your major, summer study might help you stay on track.

Intensive courses: Some universities offer condensed summer courses, allowing you to complete credits more quickly. Consider whether this option aligns with your goals and interests.

Online courses: If you prefer a flexible study schedule and have reliable internet access, taking online courses over the summer can be an advantageous choice.

4. Evaluate Financial Considerations: Summer study opportunities may come with associated costs. Weigh the financial implications by considering the following:

Tuition fees: Determine if the cost of summer courses fits within your budget or if scholarships and financial aid options are available.

Living expenses: If you plan to take courses away from home, factor in the cost of accommodation, transportation, and other living expenses.

5. Explore Internship and Job Opportunities: Summer break also offers opportunities for internships and part-time jobs. Consider the benefits of gaining practical experience and building your professional network. Reflect on how these opportunities align with your long-term goals and weigh them against the benefits of summer study.

Balance with Personal Well-being: Remember the importance of maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Consider these factors:

Rest and rejuvenation: Taking time off during the summer can help you recharge, destress, and prevent burnout.

Pursuing personal interests: Use the summer to explore hobbies, travel, and spend quality time with friends and family.

Conclusion: Deciding whether to study over the summer ultimately depends on your individual circumstances, goals, and priorities. Evaluate your academic needs, personal motivation, and financial considerations while keeping a healthy work-life balance in mind. Remember that summer can be a valuable time for personal growth, exploration, and self-care. By making an informed decision, you can optimize your summer break and set yourself up for success in the upcoming academic year.

#student tips #education #studying #student #student things #study #study tips #studyblr #study motivation #studyspiration #student life #university help #university

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oliviax727 · 1 year ago

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I finally gotten to it, I am finally going to start learning a language (Spanish)

Wait, why should I care?

You don't need to care at all. I just want to keep a public record of my progress and see if I can pull off the effort for long enough to achieve my goals.

If you're not interested, there's no shame in scrolling past this post once a month. And dw, these posts will be at most monthly. So if you're here for something else, this won't clog things up.

If you're concerned about the physics, reminder this is my personal account, and there's another one exclusively for those who just want the science without the shitposting/personal/political stuff.

Though if you're like a linguist or something - or are interested in language stuff in general, I'm sure you can find some value in this post perhaps.

What language will it be?

tl;dr Spanish

Also I love putting all this colour in my post. It satisfies my autism so much.

Now, I've come from a very multilingual background. I learned mandarin between age 5 - 13, and latin in grades 7 thru 8.

Mandarin was a language I could never get the hang of.

It probably had to do with some child-like racism combined with a lack of motivation.

Buuuuut it most likely was a consequence of when I moved from Hong Kong to Australia, my new school did not accomodate the fact I was already experienced.

Nevertheless, I feel as if my Mandarin skills have been overshot, and I don't think I'd be motivated to re-learn it unless I overwhelmingly succeed in this.

Latin was just a dud - I decided to do it because I thought it would be interesting, but dropped it after I realised I had too much on my plate heading into 9th grade.

But Spanish on the other hand, well, there are three better reasons why I choose to learn it:

I never really got an opportunity. I stopped wanting to learn from my abuela when I was 3-5 yo, and my Australian high school also didn't offer it either (my high school's curriculum was dogshit)

A big portion of my relatives are tied to Argentina, with my mum being born from Argentine immigrants. She spent her high school years doing ESL as Spanish was her second language

Aspiring to do Astrophysics is likely going to land me in Chile, as the Andes is home to telescopes-a-plenty

I could've also gone with other languages I'm interested in, like:

German (because my abuela was born from German immigrants - no they were not Nazis, they actually fled in 1936 to avoid conscription)

Croatian (my abuelo was born in Yugoslavia and fled in the 1950s)

Greek (I don't know why it was my "latin is cool" phase, so I guess I wanted to do ancient greek but I don't know how much drift there has been over the last 2000 years thanks to the romans)

And thus I go with Spanish.

But what about regional dialects?

I am very aware that there are various dialects of Spanish within Latin America, and generally, most online methods of learning will teach you Spanish Spanish.

But I think it's more important to first learn a bit of basic vocab, and the grammar, before worrying about my regional dialect. I'm still pretty sure that the most common and important grammar conventions are still shared between languages.

And I already know that people will tell I'm a foreigner, because I'll have an "English"-like accent to it. Learning a specific dialect will only make it harder to tell, not eliminate being "language clocked" entirely.

So what's this going to look like?

Every month or two I'm going to personally report, to myself, via tumblr, my progress in learning. I'll list what I learned, what I still need to work on, and what I wish I could do next.

Effectively this is going to be a public journal of sorts, to make sure I feel like I'm doing this productively.

What's the weather like now?

Given that I've already attempted to learn Spanish twice previously, and being exposed to cultural influences, I already know a bit of Spanish.

Most of it is just random bits of vocabulary, that sound a lot less impressive if you were to try and make me say a sentence:

Custom greetings "Hola", "Buenos Noches"

Expletives "¡Ay caramba!"

The basic conjunction "y"

"Niño, niña, hombre"

Agua (with the "con gas" or "sin gas" tacked on too)

Counting from "uno" to "treinta-nueve"

Some month names like "Mayo" or "Diciembre"

Some colours like "Rojo"

Some utensils and tools like "Boligrafo"

Other stuff that I won't be able to recaly suddenly

And I mostly only understand the pronunciation, most of the spellings I had to look up on google translate. Extra I's like in December or thirty, or that there's no "ph" in pen.

There are other simple grammatical rules that I know of:

Gender i.e. words that end with a you tack on a "La" and for o's you tack on "El". More generally you have to pay attention to grammatical gender

As an educated guess from knowing a bit of Latin, I'm sure there are noun and verb declensions that interact with gender as well

Word order, much like English, is SVO

Clearly, I have my work cut out for me. But I also have a head start over a lot of people primarily because I have experience in other languages related to Spanish, which can help inform me on grammar and common vocabulary. I also have some (minor) knowledge in linguistics.

Another one is that I don't just assume that Spanish is a 1:1 translation of English, where you can just swap words for others. This seems like a trivial fact. But you'd be surprised at how much "English-speaking privilege" can blind people who don't require learning second languages.

It can be much more effective to learn a language when you know your expectations.

What are my Goals?

Well, in the spirit of a SMART goal, I don't really know. Because I don't actually know how long it will take me to get to a desired level of fluency.

Sometimes a language can take years to learn, sometimes it can be picked up in just one. And there are so many different "levels" of acheivement.

Which is why my goals in the long term will be more vapid:

At some point, I want to have a semi-fluent conversation with my abuela in Spanish

I want to be able to speak and understand a proper, unbroken sentence within a few months or a year

Now, what I mean by "Sentence" is really finicky. I don't mean "Las mujers leen; ¡Soy una de las mujers!" (see I'm already learning ha ha). I mean a sentence you'd normally say like:

"Hey X, I'm gonna go to the store, what do you need me to buy? Ok see you in half an hour."

That will be a bit difficult. It requires a lot more vocab to get to that level. But of course, I know it's do-able because millions of people have done it already!

What are my short-term goals? And how will I learn?

For the short term, my goals are a little more simpler. Primarily because there will always be a course or an app that will help me learn.

And for the first few months, my goals are most likely going to align with whatever the app has designed for me to do.

The problem is that I feel like most apps will act as if they can take you from no-knowledge to fluent speaker in like 5 months tops, which for an adult sounds a little fishy if you ask me.

When reading through the recommended applications, I came across two that were appealing:

Duolingo, which is more fast-paced and short-form. It gamifies language but may not be great for formal education

Rosetta Stone, which is advertised as better for natural language learning. And requires more effort.

I decided to use both, mainly because I'm lucky enough to afford it ... for now. I don't have much other means to spend my money regardless.

The reason I choose to use both is simply because I want the best of both worlds, and that I can't tell which one is better until I try it. Duolingo makes it entertaining, Rosetta Stone makes it serious. Sort of the balance I'm looking for.

At some point I hope to stop using at least one or the other. But for now I have nothing better to do.

Anyways, that's all I gotta say on the matter for now. Wish me luck!

#language #spanish #learning languages #learning spanish #l

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getmymetal · 9 months ago

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Jujutsu Kaisen Band AU - General Info & Headcanons

(This is a post containing some of the lore for my AU bots on janitor. Some of the bots themselves are still works in progress. I will link them here as I upload them. Lessons In Malevolence is the first of two bands I plan on introducing in this AU. Gojo's band, Void The Infinity, will be covered in a separate post.)

Lessons In Malevolence

Current members: Suguru, Sukuna, Choso, Toji

Former members: Mahito

A heavy metal band with a gothic/industrial aesthetic. The name is often shortened to LiM. Their music focuses heavily on horror, fantasy, the idea of sin and virtue, and forbidden love. The band had a bit of a cult following in the underground community since its conception, but only recently gained mainstream popularity with a change to a new vocalist.

Story behind the name: Sukuna simply thought the word "malevolent" sounded cool, but Choso didn't want the band's name to be just one word, so they worked in 'Lessons In Malevolence'. According to both Sukuna and Choso, the original members of the band, the name is reminiscent of how their songs can be seen as a sort of 'guide to rebellion'.

Top Musical Influences: Type O Negative, Nine Inch Nails, Orgy, A Perfect Circle, Rob Zombie, Orgy, Marilyn Manson, Candlemass, Slipknot, Black Sabbath, Slayer, Disturbed, Cradle of Filth, Opeth, Korn

Frontman: Suguru Geto

28 years old. Likes cats, reading, zaru soba, studying philosophy, practicing martial arts, and intelligent discussion. Dislikes Satoru Gojo, simpletons, people prying into his past.

Serves as both the lead vocalist and backup guitarist of the band. He isn't an original member, even so, he remains the most popular member. Suguru initially auditioned to be the band's bassist (after Choso and Sukuna kicked Mahito out).

Wanted to join the band out of pure spite for Satoru, the frontman of LiM's rival band, Void The Infinity. He ended up loving Lessons In Malevolence.

After joining LiM, he quickly rose to the top of the hierarchy of the band. He's active on social media, and has the most followers of all LiM's members. Suguru has a bit of a cult following online.

Suguru also has some solo projects he works on that aren't music related. He is an aspiring author, dabbling in the fiction world.

He thoroughly loves having his ego stroked. Being the lead vocalist of Lessons In Malevolence fuels this, he loves having most of the spotlight, something he couldn't achieve when he was a member of Satoru's band. He feels like he's only just now being recognized for his talents.

His role as the unofficial leader of the band has given him a bit of a god complex. He calls the fans of the band the "malevolent legion" or "the malevolent cult". He enjoys feeling like he's being worshiped by his fans, and embraces the title of "cult leader" that the media has given him.

The cause of the falling out between himself and Satoru, and the following heated rivalry between the two, is still unknown, and a topic of debate among fans. Suguru refuses to elaborate on it during any interviews. His most dedicated fans have many theories about it.

Drums: Sukuna Ryomen

28 years old (acts like a teenager). Likes partying, loud music, annoying his manager, watching wrestling, horror and action movies, videogames, all kinds of meat, all-you-can-eat buffets, reading and writing poetry (surprisingly). Dislikes nothing in particular, but he is ever so slightly annoyed by his bandmates sometimes.

Sukuna has a younger brother, Yuji Itadori, who looks nearly identical to him. Sukuna was raised by their dad, while Yuji was raised by their mom. The two would look like twins if it weren't for Sukuna's tattoos and taller height, even though Sukuna is a decade older than Yuji.

Sukuna is extremely musically talented, despite his abrasive personality. He plays drums for the band, but he also covered vocals on LiM's first studio album, and he's also capable of playing guitar as well.

Much like Suguru, Sukuna basks in the fame and popularity of the band. He is a man who lives by his instincts and whims, he does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and he often takes advantage of his fame (more often than not, to get into someone's bed).

Sukuna is a bully, and a competitive person. He won't shy away from tests of brute strength, or back down from any sort of challenge. He is very into underground fighting, so much so that he started his own fight club, much to the dismay of his PR manager.

Sukuna and Choso have been friends since highschool. They started the band in Sukuna's garage, and it was his idea.

Lead Guitar: Choso Kamo

28 years old. Likes his brothers back home, songwriting, practicing his guitar playing, drawing, watching movies, hanging out with Yuji, giving tattoos, anime and manga, and he may or may not have a soft spot for cute things.

Choso is one of the founding members of Lessons In Malevolence along with Sukuna. He tends to stay out of the spotlight, unlike Sukuna and Suguru, but behind the scenes, he makes a lot of creative decisions for the band.

He writes almost all of the lyrics for the band's songs, as well as having designed the band's logo.

Choso is the only member of the band that doesn't party after every single show. He is a bit of a wallflower, and values his alone time.

Choso works at a tattoo parlor on occasion while he's not touring or recording music. The parlor is run by one of Choso's friends, Yuki Tsukumo.

Choso comes from a huge family, being the oldest of ten brothers. Two of his brothers, Eso and Kechizu, run a restaurant back in his hometown. While on the road, Choso has become particularly close with Sukuna's younger brother, Yuji, who often travels with them. Yuji, as well as Choso's blood related brothers, are the most precious thing in the world to him.

Bass: Toji Fushiguro

38 years old. Likes gambling, flirting with rich older women, working out, and animals. Dislikes alcohol (no matter how much he drinks, he can never get drunk), and his family, apart from his son.

Toji is the newest member of the band, as well as the oldest. He didn't actually expect to get the gig when he auditioned, he just tried because it was around, and he needed the money. It was only by chance he decided to do so after a little bit of practice with his old guitar.

Toji is a single father, his wife passed soon after his son was born. His son, Megumi, is the same age as Yuji Itadori. Wanting to foster a better relationship with his son back home, Toji often attempts to talk to Yuji, but it's usually awkward and tense unless Choso is there.

Although Toji can play bass well enough, he is still adjusting to being on tour with the band. He feels a bit of a disconnect with the other members, being older than them. He does, however, get along rather well with Sukuna, who often goes gambling and casino hopping with him.

Toji has a pet horned lizard which he named 'Inventory' for some reason. He seems to adore the tiny reptile, perhaps doting on it more than he does his own son. He doesn't know whether it's male or female, but he adores it nonetheless. He insisted on bringing Inventory on the tour bus, saying that he never goes anywhere without it. He wasn't taking no for an answer, so the rest of the band reluctantly agreed. (Unbeknownst to Toji, Suguru has grown quite fond of Inventory, and feeds it and pets it while Toji is away. Toji would get extremely jealous if he knew this.)

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the1975attheirverybest · 7 months ago

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What I mean with she’s not like the other influencers I meant that she doesn’t commodify her life like the others, I mean there are certain influencers that literally share everything they do, including how many time they piss during the day. I’m not a fan nor a hater of her, I just noticed that she could easily share more things about her private life to gain more popularity, especially now that she’s dating Matty and she literally doesn’t. Also i think it’s safe to say that she does more things as a model than as an influencer these days? Like she has done quite a good number of campaigns and walked the runway for a good number of designers, so idk it feels a bit reductive to say that she’s simply an influencer. All that being said I know that she comes from a wealthy family and I think she knows that since she never made a mystery of her origins. I genuinely take at her face value and I only pay attention to her when people share things on twitter since I don’t even follow her on instagram (that being said, I want to specify that I understand the criticism of Matty’s love life, but at the same time I don’t because even if his choices are not ideal, I still think that I don’t him personally and I never will, so if he’s happy with Gabbriette so be it. I think it was way more hypocritical of him dating TS last year since he publicly criticised her lack of substance and her approach to music from a business point of view). Again, I mean no hate to you or any of your anons, I just think this is a interesting conversation to have since it’s very nuanced

Yeah. I get what you mean!

Okay, I think that the way that we’ve been talking maybe conflates different types of social media use so let me be more specific:

I think that being an “influencer” isn’t just type of job. A lot depends on the platform and what your “niche” is or whatever. We won’t go into the nitty gritty but suffice it to say Gabbriette is not a “day in the life” tiktok influencer who has to put out 5-8 videos a day with stuff like morning routines and evening routines. And “here’s where I went today” and “get unready with me” she’s an Instagram model. The can’t be an irl model (this is not me shitting on her btw this is just fact. She’s too short for it and stuff like that) so she had to tailor her content to that. Naturally she’s gonna post about clothes and jewelry and stuff. This is not because she understands the moral depravity of monetizing your entire existence for clicks and stuff. This is simply because she has to be brand friendly for her type of work. Brands won’t wanna work with her if she acted a certain way or posted certain types of content.

Her job hinges upon her being aspirational not relatable.

It only takes a few moments of thinking when you look at how she used to look and act during her stint in Nasty Cherry vs now. She’s just hopping on the succubus chic thing rn. Once that’s fades, she’ll hop on some other trend.

Being an IG model still depends on those qualities that I find dangerous, the foster self-centeredness, exploiting people’s parasocial relationship with her in this aspirational way of wanting to be like her so they buy her clothes off depop or buy whatever she promotes or copy her eyebrows or whatever, is extremely materialistic, and depends by and large upon being brand-friendly, being likeable (literally and figuratively, she needs people to hit like on her content), and all those gross things that make this a problematic career at best and a downright evil one at worst. Again, all which matty has come out staunchly against.

There are reasons that not all influencers are content creators and not all content creators are influencers. I’m not saying you can’t have an online presence and be a morally conscious person. You just can’t have the kind of presence that she does and be a self aware person. Most content creators who care about social economics and justice have hard lines about brand deals and what sponsorships or collabs to take and stuff like that. That’s why they can never be an influencer. Gabbriette definitely is one. She’s one that has a niche in food and fashion so she’s obviously not gonna make other types of day to day stuff. But that’s not out of the goodness of her heart that’s just how being an IG model works.

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kattartsblog · 9 months ago

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Where’s your daddy? (Metalocalypse Fankids)

Here they are! It maybe an unfinished wip, but I still wanted to show them off. :> Bios under the cut.

Razor and Raven Urrutia (Age 15, she/her [Raven] he/him and They/them [Razor], 🇵🇭/🇺🇸): Twins of the infamous William Murderface, Razor and Raven were a result of In Vitro Fertilization using some of Murderface’s donated sperm. They never knew about their real father until Raven started getting into metal. Like her father, Raven is brash and obnoxious. Being the oldest twin, she’s a lot more impulsive and has gotten into a fair amount of fist fights at school. She got into metalcore and alternative music then into death metal proper soon after. Though people see her as more of a poser than a true metalhead. She doesn’t play an instrument. Razor on the other hand is much more soft spoken, he barely peeps a word if anything. The few traits he retains from his father is slight body dysmorphia (more specifically the shape of his eyes), a love of world history, and an interest in music production. Razor’s personal favorite instrument to play is guitar, they own a dark blue B.C. Rich Warlock electric guitar. Unlike his sister, their taste in music leans more towards screamo and punk music. They have yet to meet their birth father, but would one day want to meet him. (Raven’s favorite Dethklok song is “Go forth and Die” and Razor’s fave is “DEAD FACE”)

Hanabi Nakahara (Age 22, she/her, 🇯🇵): The bastard daughter of Nathan Explosion, she was the result of a night of passion with a hostess during a frienderbender trip to Japan. Throughout her schooling years; her peers had made fun of her height, low sounding voice, and her bastard half american origins. Though to the very few friends she has had, she’s seen as a very strong older sister type. Loyal to her core, Hanabi has gotten into very loud screaming matches and surprisingly has never thrown a single punch. Her mother had told her the truth of who her birth father was when she left for America for a college semester abroad. She has begun studying music theory and has a natural gift for writing lyrics. She is influenced by Dethklok (her favorite song is “The Galaxy”) but also visual kei bands. Hanabi plays synth piano and is an aspiring vocalist, she also has a small channel where she covers songs as an Utaite. Hanabi did get the chance to meet Nathan the day before she had to leave back to Japan. They have a nice relationship with each other, Nathan is very supportive and has even gone as far as to following her online channel. He still doesn’t know half the words she’s singing, he’s trying to learn more japanese.

Klemins Gudsdótter (Age 19, They/them and he/him 🇮🇸) : During their schooling years, Klemins was always seen as “the prettiest person in the history of forever”. It’s no surprise because Klemins is a Skwigelf kid, inheriting his father’s good looks. Even with strawberry blonde hair, the resemblance is very uncanny. Learning that they’re the result of their mother making some poor choices in her youth with the Dethklok guitarist, Klemins has come to resent their birth father. They learned to play guitar purely out of spite, they want to one day meet their father and kick his ass in a guitar battle. They own a crimson blood red Ibanez Iceman electric guitar. Outside of their spite, Klemins is a surprisingly sociable and outgoing individual, always up to go to parties or just hanging out. 9 times out of 10 they’re usually tricked into dates because of how handsome they look. So they have a hard time keeping and making real friends. Their favorite genres of music include Folk metal and general Folk Music. In secret they actually like Dethklok but they won’t fully admit it out loud. (Their favorite Dethklok song is “The Hammer”)

#my art #my wips #metalocalypse #mtl fanart #metalocalypse fankid #mtl fan kid #mtl OC #Hanabi Nakahara #Klemins Gudsdottor #Razor Urrutia #Raven Urrutia #Razor and Raven Urrutia

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missv4mpsdiary · 6 months ago

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Miss Vamp’s Diary • Fetish Goths Explained

Introduction

This is my first tumblr post don’t judge me. I’ve been wanting to do this since purple galaxy pattern was trending. I’m also writing this on my phone atm. You can skip the introduction, just trying to show some credibility as a goth content creator (ʃᵕ̩̩ ᵕ̩̩⑅)

Hello, my name is Miss Vamp. You can also address me as “Vamp” or “V4mptiddy” if you’re not one of my simps online. I decided to open up a small blog to elaborate on some small things like my inspirations for my fashion/cosmetics, honest makeup reviews, commentary on gothic culture or just personal experiences as a financial dominatrix. I want to share more dimensional factors about my (attempted) online personality. This is my awkward way of actually conveying some information that I’ve planned on sharing with the public such as how I’ve grown into being “Miss Vamp”.

I’m a year and a half in the industry, I hope to have this as a long term investment in my future. I aspire to be a goth influencer like MamieHades with my own twist. I love her to bits, one of the first people to notice my posts when I started on Instagram around April 2023.

During my time, I’ve managed to have a sub-funded makeup series where subs buy my makeup for me, a collaboration photoshoots with my best friend of eight years (Mellowbatz on IG), and own a 18+ NSFW discord server, “SlutCult”. So that’s also pretty cool too. I feel almost indebted to the Findom, Goth and BDSM community for supporting my dreams. I’m still small, lots to improve on but optimistic on what my capabilities are in regards to my own contribution towards the locals.

(I’m open to mutuals, you don’t have to pay to chat with me. In spite of that, sub that are interested in serving me, my initial tribute is $20. I’m a busy woman so I expect something transactional to catch my attention.)

Anyways, since I’m juggling so many things so early, making so many securities, a lot of people acknowledge it but never really understand how much this occupation means to me. I’ve barely started recognizing the emotional attachment I’ve had with this occupation until six months into it. There’s more intricate details between the line of my presentation. They don’t know my storyline of how I swindled to becoming a sensual sadistic fetish goth vampire that glue down their eyebrows and give subs nightmare fuel with my uncanny goth makeup. Nor have I truly exposed this side of me. In an unfiltered and non restricted manner. This is my raw self and attitude through written work.

Findom, Makeup tutorials and Goth Modeling is honestly my biggest passion as I’m entering my twenties and one of the things that orbits around my individuality. Yes, I have other accomplishments like graduating with an English degree and other adult stuff but this is equally important to me.

I plan on possibly running a YouTube channel with my bestfriend in the future but for now, I wanted to dabble in blogs and possibly have this as an online diary. A media that my intended audience can enjoy and for subs to indulge in secrecy.

If you've followed me on my other platforms outside of tumblr, I identify as a Fetish Goth. At some point, I pathetically failed to articulate that I wanted to have more queer/alt mutuals on an Instagram reel which backfired because I realized my interest is NICHE. It’s not well defined and misconstrued to be something else. Therefore, I feel like I have a sense of responsibility to actually elaborate and educate people who actually have an interest in my vision. I see that there’s attentive people that would like to know what I’m deliberately posting about.

General Explanation About Fetish Goths:

Fetish goth is a style blending elements of gothic fashion with BDSM aesthetics, stands out as a striking and provocative form of self-expression within alternative communities. Sensuality can serve as an identity in an individual’s life by their practice, morality or occupation. Sex sells but committing to the bit is taboo. It’s distinct subculture style within the broader landscape of gothic fashion, drawing influences from BDSM culture, punk fashion, and alternative music scenes. It was formed in the progression of goth culture, embracing edgier and more provocative aesthetics, incorporating elements of fetish wear and erotic symbolism into their attire. Generally speaking, it’s the reason why we wear fishnets, chokers and corsets.

The origins of fetish goth can be traced back to the late 20th century, a period marked by profound social and cultural upheaval with pop culture. Pop Culture media loves incorporating it but the average citizen can sneak a few disapproving glances at you. This fashion statement is not only controversial but can be relevant in today’s societal pandemic of purity culture and norms about fashion. A more honorable mention is the arguments about goth only fans models and idiots arguing in my comment section about how i’m a “poser” yet they lip sync to London After Midnight’s “Bondage Song” as a thirst trap on TikTok. This evolution in thought is not merely academic but has had profound social and moral implications. The motives developed through the ongoing media interpretation of said fashion and formed into a more political statement. In recent years, it has continued to germinate and adapt, reflecting changing attitudes towards gender, sexuality, and identity. As society becomes increasingly diverse and inclusive, fetish goths have expanded their ranks to include individuals of all genders, sexual orientations, and cultural backgrounds, encompassing a more fluid and expansive understanding of alternative fashion and subcultural identity.

As punk and gothic subcultures gained momentum in the 1970s and 1980s, a wave of creative experimentation swept through alternative communities, challenging conventional notions of fashion and identity. Inspired by the DIY ethos of punk and the macabre elegance of gothic aesthetics, early fetish goths began to incorporate elements of fetish wear / symbolism into their attire. The 1990s had a rise in electronic music (synth waves) and Fetish style such as PVC, rubber, piercings, leather latex and BDSM bondaged wear in Goth Clubs. This was an imperative step in separating Goth as a distinct subculture that is dissimilar to the post-punk scene it spawned from. Punk fashion had also incorporated elements of bondage and BDSM-wear because it was popularized in the media (Vivienne Westwood and Malcolm McLaren’s legendary SEX store in London) but it wasn’t as evident. Most punks were wearing D rings rather than O rings. The difference is O-ring is solely meant for BDSM, it means ownership and customized for humans participating in it; Having a D ring on a collar was catered to dogs. This might be a culture shock to some but chokers are called chokers for a reason.

It was merely drawing inspiration from the dark romanticism of gothic literature, the raw energy of punk rock, and the provocative aesthetics of BDSM. Fetish goths crafted a distinct visual language that defied categorization and pushed the boundaries of traditional fashion. The rise of this look coincided with a broader cultural shift towards alternative lifestyles and underground subcultures. As mainstream media and popular culture began to co-opt elements of gothic and BDSM aesthetics, fetish goths carved out their own niche within the subcultural landscape, embracing DIY ethos and a spirit of creative rebellion. From underground clubs and music festivals to online forums and social media communities, fetish goths found camaraderie and solidarity with like-minded individuals who shared their passion for dark fashion and unconventional beauty.

This is the part that could be upsetting to some but I must admit that it’s necessary to emphasize on how insane some users sound when they blame me as “part of the problem”; that doesn’t make sense. Fetish goth is not porn material, I personally don’t pretend to be goth for money. Not every single fetish goth is meant to be a sex worker, some just like it for the sex appeal and nothing more. As for me? I incorporated it into my findom / online branding and it was my own personal choice. There’s something more important to be addressed about within this context, there was always a fetish component to the subculture. It’s inherited into our characteristics. It doesn’t mean that femme presenting people should be fetishized. No one deserves to be fetishized unless there’s consent. I just need to make it abundantly clear it has been adopted by the goth scene entirely and any article of these clothes can be obtained without going to a sex store. It’s the unspoken reason why goth clubs are 18+ and elder goths were so territorial around baby goths. We have adopted explicit fetish accessories and turned it into street wear, the beloved footwear of big stompy boots also deviated from early goth footwear. While Demonia makes many styles of gothic shoes, their most identifiable boots are characterized by their tall platforms and heavy silver hardware, which can take the form of spikes, O-rings, buckles or chains. Both of these that were originally worn by them are now integrated into casual fashion and have influenced gothic culture. So I’d hate to register people on my page complaining about my fashion niche as hypocritical. ESPECIALLY if they’re in possession of Demonia boots and lip service items, it’s like the call is coming from inside the house. It’s so similar to our modern appearance that people can’t differentiate the two or register that it was the blueprints.

One of the key influences on the development of fetish goth style was the BDSM subculture, which was also a distinct community in the latter half of the 20th century.

BDSM, an acronym for Bondage, Dominance, Sadism, and Masochism, encompasses a wide range of practices and identities centered around consensual power exchange and erotic role-playing, Outside of the biased interpretations it’s classified as "a multidimensional paraphilia of sexuality; (consensual) power interchange in sexual encounters." All of this is safe of course, unlike the stigma, there are plenty of rules and reinforcements because it’s disciplinary between two parties (or more).” Fetish attire actively include leather, latex, corsets, and other fetishistic attire serve as symbols of sexual empowerment and personal expression, challenging societal taboos surrounding sexuality and desire to the public interest. It could simply be served as a temptation and pinpoint what kind of individual a person is by their reaction; "A twofold evolution tended to make the flesh into the root of all evil, shifting the most important moment of transgression from the act itself to the stirrings - so difficult to perceive and formulate - of desire" (Foucault, p. 20), reflects the seductive nature of fetish goth attire.

The main introduction is mainly with O rings chokers, big boots (with O rings, chains or spikes), bondage pants, chains/mail materials, and PVC, a type of latex leather that has a glossy shine, and the alternative version faux leather. This style does more than simply shock or oppose societal norms; it questions the foundations upon which these norms are built. By bringing 'the stirrings of desire' into the open, It critiques the notion that internal desires should be repressed or hidden. Instead, it celebrates these as parts of human identity that should be acknowledged and expressed. The visibility of such attire in public spaces and subcultural gatherings underscores a rejection of the idea that the body and its desires are sources of evil or shame. Furthermore, the very act of displaying what is conventionally concealed operates as a form of resistance against societal controls over the body and sexuality. It embodies a challenge to the 'twofold evolution' where the personal, internal aspects of desire are not only made visible but are also celebrated rather than censured. In doing so, fetish goth fashion not only redefines the aesthetics of desire but also reclaims agency over how desire and the body are perceived and governed.

Philosophy In The Details:

In historical context, particularly within Christian doctrine, this transformation can be seen in the transition from a focus on overt acts of sin to a more introspective examination of one's inner life and temptations. This shift places a greater moral burden on individual thoughts and feelings, which are inherently more subjective and less observable than actions. This introspective turn is deeply aligned with the practice of confession, where the faithful are encouraged not only to repent for their sins but to verbalize their innermost temptations and desires, thus making what is internal and hidden into something spoken and external.

So yes, to an extent there is a transformation of desire when most people start experimenting with it. Western societies have conceptualized sin and morality. This statement reflects a significant shift from viewing sin as merely a matter of wrongful actions (the acts themselves) to a deeper concern with the internal desires and impulses that precede and instigate these actions (the stirrings of desire). Without a doubt, there’s a site of moral scrutiny and social control that resonates strikingly with the aesthetics and expressions within it. Fetish goth attire, with its explicit evocations of the forbidden and the transgressive, challenges this historical moral schema by externalizing and aestheticizing what mainstream culture might deem dark or deviant desires. The provocative nature of fetish goth attire is not just a fashion statement but a form of social commentary. It confronts the viewer with a visual dialogue about the nature of desire, transgression, and the body.

In essence, the provocative freedom of fetish goth attire is a powerful form of cultural critique and resistance, embodying Foucault's observations about the shifts in moral scrutiny from acts to desires. It is more avant garde promoting a more inclusive and accepting approach to the diverse expressions of human sexuality and identity.

Significance In MY Life

However, to me, It’s my lifestyle. Arguably, it's the origins of my alter ego. My wardrobe, which is slowly accumulating more BDSM fetish attire and undergarments. Subs tend to buy my accessories, leather goods, makeup, lingerie and underwear. The exhibitionist in me can’t help but to be promiscuous in material. I personally love receiving attention in tight fitted and licentious displays of my best physical assists. I love it when it’s acknowledged and obsessed when I get complimented by anyone really. There’s just something about it that makes me feel really good inside when I challenge the status quo of “modesty” and “purity”. Makes me perky when I get worshipped for these qualities. Truly and honestly, I write this with my full heavy heart that I feel absolutely empowered. I take pride in being a tease and being spoiled for it. I love taking money and turning people on for wearing sexy clothes. For offending conservatives and being labeled as a lecherous “Jezebel”. It's the sensational urge that dwells within my erotic chimera to make someone choke on their tears when they address me as their Mistress. It’s the shine in my leather boots and in my eyes when I fantasize about a pathetic infatuated slave worshiping me at my toe box. The pleasure within holding someone at the end of the leash and consensually treating the participant as a fetish fashion accessory. Excitement to have a drawer full of subfunded panty just to add on the extra flare of what the distance of a fetish goth can preform. The ability to be thankful everyday because it’s another day to spite someone or give someone a sexual awakening. It’s the principles of my morality and the influences in my judgment as a woman in control of a libido. The confidence I have at this very moment, took many years to build up enough to prevail and rip people limb from limb apart. The guideline of sexual ethics, the philosophy of BDSM. My highest pinnacle of self expression. My own form of sexual liberation and sensuality wrapped in black satin and leather. It’s my redemption for being shamed into conformity. I refuse to surrender something valuable like that again.

This seemingly benign practice of sensuality of discussing desires becomes a profound tool for societal control on my end, influencing not just my own actions but the very desires that motivate an individual. It compliments my personality and if you dare to be technical in astrology, it’s the product of having a scorpio venus. I love the intensity, undying admiration and stubborn loyalty that could be formed in a dynamic bond. Overall, I love garnering eccentric fashion and sexual appeal like Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark. I will say it’s not for everyone, including other goths in the community but this lifestyle was solely the reason as to why I was able to reclaim my power and gain an identity as a fashionista and a findom. I do not sexualize goths, I sexualize myself if that makes sense? The funny thing about the assumption from the public eye is that everyone thinks I'm experienced and “ran through” but I'm still a raging virgin with guilty pleasures and hyperfixation on the topic. Regardless, I hold intense sentimental value in my fashion statement overall.

Originally, I treated this like exposure therapy after my assault and learned all principles before applying it into my life. I hope this perspective offers a critical framework for understanding the acts of rebellion and identity expression in communities, which stand in stark contrast to these norms, showcasing their cultural significance and resistance (and look good doing it). I also wanted to share this to formally specify why I make this such a big deal in my brand. Western societies have historically managed individual desires, particularly through the mechanism of discourse. A form of societal command unique to the West — was established to regulate personal desires captures a pivotal shift in the relationship between individuals and societal norms. This injunction wasn't merely a directive to obey the law; it extended deeply into the private realm, dictating that individuals not only confess to transgressions but also constantly discuss and analyze their desires.

Conclusion

(Relatively speaking as a fetish goth/findom)

Western society compels individuals to transform "every desire into discourse." This requirement to vocalize and scrutinize personal desires allows society to exert control over individuals not just through suppression but through the shaping of thoughts and feelings. Desires, once private, become public and malleable under societal scrutiny. I just personally feel like I’ve always been observed under this pressure before I turned 18 because of the brash gooners that had their brain fried from porn. No matter what I wear, it will never be an invitation but that doesn’t mean people won’t stop eye fucking me. So I interpreted this as my own way of processing and making desires a topic of constant discourse but simultaneously serves as a subtle but powerful form of social control for me. Before I turned into a fleshed out goth girl, I was confronted by this behavior on multiple occasion. If people are going to be weirdos, they might as well pay for my bills.

It operates under the impression of transparency and self-awareness, yet it functions as a mechanism through which society can influence and often dictate acceptable desires and behaviors. In the context of the fetish goth subculture, this societal mandate becomes a site of resistance. By openly embracing and redefining what mainstream culture might consider deviant or taboo, members of this subculture challenge the traditional boundaries set by the historical injunction to regulate desires through discourse. So in conclusion, this is how I live in my truth. Either you hate it, love it or fund it.

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lingshanhermit · 1 year ago

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Ling Shan Hermit: The Gentleman, the Petty Man, and the Sage

Once, while searching online for items related to calligraphy, I unexpectedly entered a store. This shop sold various pieces of calligraphy, printed and mounted in wooden frames. Yet, the content of these works greatly surprised me — nearly all were promoting self-satisfaction, advocating that desire is without sin, and legitimizing our greed, anger, and ignorance, making them appear reasonable, lawful, and without fault. I saw many pieces bearing sentiments like, "Be a mundane man, greedy for wealth and pleasure, yet full of righteousness." I noticed that this shop had many purchase records. As a protector of traditional culture, it was difficult for me to imagine Chinese people, influenced by such tradition, hanging these pieces in their homes. In Chinese traditional culture, no one would use such words for self-encouragement, nor would anyone adopt these phrases as their personal motto. I believe the sole purpose for purchasing these items and placing them by their bed is to find comfort and justification when they are succumbing to moral decline.

In the past forty years, Chinese society has undergone significant and profound changes. These changes are not limited to economic growth and people's dress style but are more evident in the realm of cognition. Within this domain, the perceptions of Chinese individuals have undergone drastic transformations. Things once perceived as bad are no longer seen as such, what was once deemed ugly is no longer considered ugly, the beautiful is no longer seen as beautiful, and the good is no longer recognized as good. Under the guise of respecting others, people have become more selfish, more closed, more indifferent, and increasingly devoid of a sense of responsibility. Recently, a piece of news caught my attention. A beverage manufacturer in southern China came under criticism for using a model of traditional beauty in their advertisements. Many people felt that they should have opted for a model with eyes narrowed to a slit — what they consider to be the Western perception of Eastern beauty. Although Chinese society has not politically aligned itself with the West, it has become thoroughly westernized in many other aspects, especially in those regards. Frankly, I don't perceive this shift as positive. In fact, this change is leading us to become more selfish, more self-centered, more isolated, and consequently more miserable.

When I was around seven or eight years old, the term "nouveau riche" or "tuhao" was not considered favorable. The children around me, none of them aspired to become a tuhao. However, now, many people on the internet hope to become a tuhao, or at least befriend one. It may have started as a jest, but gradually it became a reality. Not only "tuhao" (nouveau riche), but also words like "capricious" and "domineering," originally derogatory, have transformed into compliments. The noble man, the "junzi," is no longer the goal for many. People have begun to appreciate the petty man, feeling that, in contrast to the "junzi," the petty man lives a more genuine, content, and comfortable life. The comfortable part is indeed true. All that comes from the devil will make you feel at ease. The devil knows what you desire, accommodating our habits, indulging our ego, making our self-centeredness feel incredibly comfortable. A certain theory suggests that those who aspire to be "junzi" are, in fact, repressing their nature. They are battling against their innate disposition, and they are nearly accused of being anti-human.

Modern intellectuals generally believe that Confucian culture contributes nothing to modern civilization, and instead it suppresses and confines our human nature. Thus, they view it as a decadent and outdated ideology that should be discarded. These views have shaped many modern individuals' understanding of Confucianism. For over a century, many intellectuals from both the East and the West have held similar perspectives, providing a solid theoretical foundation for our century-long degradation. The assertion that Confucianism has contributed nothing to modern civilization is, in fact, quite peculiar. Whether it's Confucianism, Buddhism, Taoism, or Hinduism, these Eastern religions follow a path entirely different from the Western route. Eastern sages seek happiness and liberation through self-restraint and introspection, a stark contrast to Westerners who pursue happiness through technology, possession, and unfettered self-expression. Criticizing Confucianism and Buddhism for not inventing steam engines or democratic systems is akin to blaming an athlete for not being able to sing.

The fact that so many Eastern and Western intellectuals are advocating such views is why today, many people think a genuine petty man is superior to a hypocritical gentleman. They believe the genuine petty man is true to his feelings, free from pretension and affectation, not pursuing unrealistic goals. They feel that the petty man lives genuinely, while the gentleman has become a synonym for hypocrisy. They believe life should be lived in high spirits, avenging wrongs and enjoying favors freely. Any thought or behavior that suppresses greed, anger, or delusion is considered to be against human nature. These theories have proliferated in the past few decades, providing robust support for the public to liberate their self-indulgences, enabling them to carry on their degradation with self-righteousness.

As a spiritual practitioner, I hold a different view on this. Firstly, I do not believe that greed, anger, and delusion are our inherent nature. According to Buddhism, they are merely our habitual tendencies, formed based on an illusory "self" that has never truly existed. They are habits formed to protect and affirm this "self". These tendencies have never been our true nature. Buddhism believes that our true nature is the Buddha-nature, which can only be realized by dismantling ignorance. The first step in dismantling ignorance and eradicating our dualistic habitual tendencies is to suppress our greed, anger, and delusion. Therefore, those who believe that greed, anger, and delusion are inevitable aspects of human nature have mistaken their true parentage; they have followed a deceiver. Those who believe that releasing their "self" will lead to happiness are as foolish as trying to put out a fire with alcohol.

Those who believe that a true villain is better than a false gentleman may not have considered the implications of such thinking. If we all accept and find comfort in playing the role of the villain, if we all believe that greed, anger, and delusion are inherent traits we are born with, then we are essentially severing all possibilities of striving towards goodness. This is a terrifying prospect. Neither Eastern nor Western sages consider greed, anger, and delusion as inherent to our nature. They all believe these are traits that we should avoid at all costs. Only the most shallow and superficial people cannot foresee the consequences of encouraging such traits. Furthermore, if we all aspire to be true villains, all the beauty in the world would cease to exist. Our lives would lack heroes like Guo Jing and Zhang Wuji, and heroines like Zhao Min. Everyone would be a Chen Youliang or a Ding Minjun, where there is no genuine sentiment between people, only calculations and self-interest. I would rather live in an era where everyone aspires to be a gentleman, even if most are only pretending - it is still preferable to an era where everyone wishes to be a true villain. If people are willing to pretend to be gentlemen, it at least demonstrates that most people believe being a gentleman is a good thing. I do not want to live in an era where everyone mocks the notion of being a gentleman, such as the current times.

A certain author once said: people are inherently greedy and lustful. If we exhibit such traits, then we are true to our human nature. If we don't, then we are hypocritical. (In essence)

I have encountered many who consider themselves enlightened sharing such views. Even if they might not voice these thoughts explicitly, they truly believe in them. Over the years, I've met many people influenced by this culture. Almost all of them harbor immense suspicion towards others. They scrutinize you with a critical gaze, harbor inexplicable hostility towards strangers, and rarely believe in anyone. They are also unwilling to help others. On the contrary, if given the chance, they seem to take pleasure in making things difficult for others. I have met many elderly people influenced by this culture, their faces devoid of any trace of kindness. In their view, all human relationships are predicated on self-interest. Aside from money, they believe, nothing is reliable - not friends, not feelings, not family. The only thing dependable is money. Furthermore, they believe that everyone is pretending; some are just more adept at it than others. If you can't tell someone is pretending, then they must be particularly skilled at it. I've also heard them say that as long as you're human, you will have desires. If you appear to be without desires, or are of few desires, then you must be pretending. Thus, you must be a hypocrite. Desire is our instinct; therefore, we should face our desires honestly, not label them as negative or bad. We should be honest with ourselves; whatever our body or mind wants is reasonable and natural. After all, desire is our nature, our instinct. This is the perspective held by many who have been enslaved by modern civilization here.

From this perspective, numerous absurd theories have emerged. For instance, I know of a view that's quite popular among young people today (and possibly not just the young) which equates sexual activity with physiological needs like eating and drinking. In this view, sex is no different from eating or sleeping; it doesn't involve any moral or ethical considerations and is separate from emotions and marriage. Therefore, under this theory, you can sleep with anyone you desire, especially if your needs arise while your boyfriend is away. You shouldn't feel shame or see anything wrong in this; in fact, viewing such acts as negative is the real problem. You should confront your true desires - this is a philosophy widely held today. It's a natural extension of our efforts to legitimize, legalize, and absolve our desires of guilt. When the majority of the world starts to think in this way, things that have been suppressed for thousands of years start to get unleashed. You'll evolve from opposing the virtuous, to defying filial piety, to resisting familial obligations, to opposing everything that has supported our world for millennia. In fact, many people are already doing this - and that's precisely what the devil aims for.

When we say that a genuine scoundrel is better than a hypocritical gentleman, please be aware that our words not only affect the hypocrites, but also those true gentlemen and those who strive to become such. Because you cannot truly distinguish who is a real gentleman and who is a pretender, what you're actually doing is sweeping aside all those who seem to be working toward virtuous behavior. The devil's goal, in fact, is to make you believe that there are no real gentlemen in this world, no real practitioners, no Buddhas, no saints, no divine beings. Everyone is ordinary, everyone is pretending, and all spiritual practice is a deception. We should be our 'real' selves, and the so-called 'real' self is one that follows your habits, indulges your ego, and acts as it pleases. You'll begin to question all traditional values, from the duties of men and women in marriage, to whether you should support your parents, to whether you should obey your spiritual teacher, to whether public schools should allow prayer, and so on. The result of this approach is that you will end up in a worse body, in a worse environment, and continue the cycle of reincarnation.

I know of a story. Once, the 16th Gyalwa Karmapa, a revered figure in Tibetan Buddhism, visited the home of a devoted follower. The host's family had regarded the Karmapa as their spiritual guide for generations. After a hearty meal, the Karmapa used their restroom. After he came out, the host's children ran into the bathroom; they wanted to see what the Karmapa had excreted. They had always been taught that the Karmapa was a true Buddha, so they expected his excrements to be different from those of others. However, to their disappointment, what the Karmapa had left in the toilet was no different from anyone else's. This greatly undermined their faith in him.

I tell this story to illustrate that even someone as respected as the Karmapa can be deemed a fraud and subjected to absurd scrutiny. Those who deny the existence of the sacred examine others in an exceptionally severe manner. They think that if you, as a Buddha, don't excrete gold or urinate cola, then you must surely be deceiving them.

Please understand, most of us practitioners are on the path to enlightenment. We are earnestly striving towards awakening, but this doesn't mean we excrete gold or never lose our tempers, never get drunk, or never sneak a peek at erotic images. If we are found viewing such images and consequently branded as hypocrites, implying that all our previous efforts and practices were deceptions, this would be highly unjust.

No one can attain spiritual perfection in one fell swoop, nor can anyone avoid making mistakes; we are all trudging forward, laboriously. Sometimes we advance, sometimes we retreat, often we're stuck in a standstill. We continue to make mistakes, repent, and then repeat the cycle. Oscar Wilde said, "Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future." So, even the saints, when they were not so saintly, made mistakes again and again. But the general public isn't aware of these facts.

The devil is most adept at exploiting these grey areas. He knows that most people don't understand spiritual practice or know the actual state of a practitioner, unaware of the power of habitual patterns, or that practice is a repeated process of advancement and retreat. The devil uses your ignorance and naivety, pointing out the errors of someone and asserting that they are not what they claim to be. Therefore, they are hypocrites, not true practitioners, merely charlatans. There are no truly enlightened beings in the world; all people are ordinary, needing to eat, drink, excrete, and sleep. Hence, because we are all ordinary, you should return to an ordinary state. If you put on a guise of sanctity, you are being hypocritical.

I once met a man who professed he did not believe in the existence of supernatural powers or saints, but he maintained an open attitude. He asserted that if someone could fly before him, he would believe in the existence of saints. His whimsical thinking and self-overestimation left a deep impression on me. I believe there's no saint in the world desperate to win his approval. There are quite a few people like him. This is precisely how the devil destroys our traditional practices.

Over the years, I have witnessed some practitioners fall from heaven to hell. In retrospect, a significant reason for their problems lies in their perception. They grew up among people accustomed to pretenses, and they themselves have become used to feigning. They have not seen people who don't put up a façade, nor have they seen truly kind individuals. Hence, they assume everyone is like them, thinking all people are putting on a show, all for their own interests, with some simply being more skilled at disguise than others. Unfortunately, not everyone is pretending, and not everyone is driven solely by self-interest.

They are like those mentioned earlier, thinking that if someone is a saint, they should be perfect from beginning to end, without any preferences or desires. If they see a saint revealing an ordinary side, they will believe that the person is not a saint but merely pretending. Regrettably, even genuine saints will pass gas, hiccup, show special warmth towards certain individuals, and care about a few dollars. Saints will not act according to their predetermined definition or assumptions of what a saint should be. They have been severely harmed by their own mindset, the source of which is the topic we are discussing today.

Written by Ling Shan Hermit on October 19, 2022, first published on July 3, 2023.

All rights reserved, no infringement intended. All articles of the Ling Shan Hermit, in both Simplified and Traditional Chinese, English and other languages, are copyrighted to the natural person who owns "Ling Shan Hermit". Please respect copyright laws. Any media or individual (including but not limited to Internet media, websites, personal spaces, blogs, WeChat public accounts, print media) wishing to use this content must first obtain authorization from Ling Shan Hermit. No modifications to the article are permitted (including the author's name, title, body of the text, and punctuation). We reserve all legal rights.

灵山居士：君子小人圣人

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parasex-jamboree · 1 year ago

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Me vs Hypnokink

I don’t mean to bill myself as an export in hypnosis or even particularly accomplished. I’m just trying to collect my thoughts. Hypnosis evokes romantic and mystical imagery, but it’s a mess to figure out. And if you want to kink on something, you need knowledge and knowledge needs organization. It’s easy to restrain someone and inflict pain. It takes knowledge of the body in order for the subject to (eventually) walk away afterwards, with no loss of functionality. One should expect a similar standard for mind games.

My problem with hypnokink was that it felt unclear how to do it safely. From the start, I had two real world examples that I considered illustrative - the role of hypnotic memory ‘retrieval’ (often resulting in false memories) in the Satanic Panic, and the use of mind control myths such as MK Ultra as a method of control in abusive relationships. My time absorbing the chatter of hypno twitter presented me with a third example - online communities built around ‘addictive’ or ‘personality erasing’ audio files, that despite their outlandish claims, seemed to leave people with genuine distress and/or dissociative issues. Hypnosis seemed to do real damage, at least.

I encountered multiple models of how hypnosis worked, without any citation and sometimes directly contradicting mainstream psychology (like my personal experience with cognitive-behavioral therapy). I felt that If I couldn’t trust the how of it, then I couldn’t trust the how it could go wrong. There seemed to be a dangerous optimism about hypnotism. The emphasis tended to be on the hypnotist being responsible with their influence, which struck me more as leaning into the desired fantasy of power rather than giving useful advice about when and why one’s influence might be greater or different than anticipated. Moreover, there was obvious reliance on the placebo effect, but it was rarely named and discussed circuitously. It began to feel reminiscent of the double-speak of pseudo-scientific conspiracy podcasts I used to listen to out of morbid curiosity.

After bouncing off a few popular resources, like Mind Play, my search started to lean academic - specifically, the writings of Dierdre Barrett, Stephen Jay Lynn, and Marty Sapp. Here, I began to understand hypnotism and its problems as an issue of a subject’s ability to stay grounded in reality. What was often flattened into a scale of ‘hypnotizability’ or ‘responsiveness’ was actually the overlapping shadows of several tendencies such as credulity, visualization, dissociation, focus, etc. What created the extreme reactions to hypnosis was when a subject took one of these tendencies to the point of disorder. Also important is the assertion that nothing happens under hypnosis that isn’t possible under other circumstances. Hypnosis is not a state of the subject, but a formalism and a ritual.

My current opinion is that there is no objectively, hypnosis isn’t a useful descriptor – rather, my impression is that there are diverse would-be hypnotists of diverse traditions who all claim what they do (sometimes wildly different from each other) is hypnosis. I think it may be better to consider ‘hypnosis’ as an aspiration term akin to perpetual motion or anti-gravity. Hypnosis is a hypnotist’s attempt to communicate with some part of a person’s mind they have no conscious awareness of (roundly, “the Unconscious”). What constitutes the Unconscious Mind, if an Unconscious Mind even exists, or what can be gained through communication with the Unconscious are also vague and vary from hypnotist to hypnotist. From scientists to showmen, from therapists to thaumaturgists, the mythology of hypnosis keeps branching and changing as new would-be hypnotists find the idea too tempting (or romantic) to let go.

Because of this, I think it’s useful to separate “hypnosis” from “hypnotic techniques” – the actual techniques that hypnotists employ on their subjects. While there is no dependable evidence for hypnosis-as-claimed, various hypnotic techniques can produce effects recognized by mainstream psychology: task absorption, imaginative anticipation, relaxation, dissociation, etc. The ability of hypnotic techniques to elicit these effects is what fuels the myth of hypnosis. The hypnotist-and-subject dyad merely provides a ritual context where eliciting these phenomena can be (consensually, hopefully) agreed on. All of this is amplified by the Placebo Effect, where authority + ritual + expectation can give the subject the illusion of change or to misattribute the cause of change.

Why I think this differentiation matters is four points. First, while the narrative of hypnosis is part of the fun, I think it makes for poor organizing principle if you want to understand the psychology behind various hypnotic techniques. How these states work and the dangers posed by them can be researched completely independent of hypnosis. Second, I see the huge emphasis on the Placebo Effect as a consent issue. Placebos expressly depend on a difference between what the expert knows and what the subject knows. That’s not conducive to mutual risk agreement. Third, I think one of the dangers is when a subject mis-attributes the cause of what they experience. Developing the for-real conviction that anyone saying a trigger word can (for example) alter your memory is itself mentally dangerous. And fourth, I think that asserting that harm rendered by hypnotic technique is a unique class of harm may discourage victims from seeking appropriate professional help.

To be honest, I do feel better about hypno kink after parsing through all this. The climb is different than I expected, but I do feel like some storm clouds have parted from around the mountain. I’m not sure I’m saying anything particular new, but I do think there’s much that gets obfuscated just by universally applying ‘hypnosis’ – a pseudo-scientific term that twists to whatever’s being claimed – instead of demanding specifics. I’m learning and growing, and I’m trying to make sure I know what I’m growing into - not an all-powerful mentalist, but someone who knows what he can and can’t promise.

#hypnosis #hypnokink

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sugareey-makes-stuff · 2 years ago

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First fortune cookie rec list of the year, hell yeah! I’m already a day late, but I wanted to do this post justice so I could properly and wholeheartedly wish @anaxandria-writes a very happy belated birthday! Rin absolutely deserves a shout out for not only being a fandom enthusiast, but also a creative go-getter and an amazing fandom friend. It’s kinda crazy, because even though we’ve only known each other for maybe a couple-ish of years, it seems like we’ve been friends forever. I guess that’s what happens when we constantly scream and squee about all the things both online and offline (because yayy for being neighbors!). Honestly, Rin’s spirit kinda reminds me of the bright rainbow we all like to see in the sky. That’s probably reflective of her excitement about a lot of things, as well as her love for loud colours and patterns (trust me, I tried to see what I could come up with for the origami spread). We like rare pairs, and hell yes for being multishippers in multiple fandoms, and I’m super happy that we get to share not only HP as a fandom but also Teen Wolf! Yayy! I first got to know Rin in 2021 in the Rare Pairs server, and soon enough CoMs and the Wizarding Den servers and a gazillion other servers I can’t keep track of. That probably indicates we a lot of common interests to begin with, which isn’t a bad thing. One being Flintwood, though Rin has been a big influence on why I dipped my toes in this ship. And when I’ve needed a little bit of inspo for making art or writing fic, she’s already been my go-to person for all the headcanons about Marcus and Oliver. She’s also why I’ve started shipping Herbtamer too, but then again, it’s probably because she’s soo enthusiastic about these two, so how could I say no? Why not...Charlie and Neville are really damn cute together, okay? AND since we both adore Oliver Wood, that was how Wood Your Rather came to be as a prompt challenge since we wanted more Oliver works in general. WYR was the very first fest we both ran for fandom (and basically ever), and boy did we learn a lot about modding while also getting to know each other. I honestly couldn’t think of co-modding this event with anyone else, because one needs to really love Oliver to pieces to make something like WYR work. (P.S. stay tuned for more news on this year’s event very soon!). When it comes to fandom, Rin has done a little bit of everything. She’s a writer and an aspiring artist (and a great cheerleader)! I love that Rin has been trying out new mediums, techniques and ways to make different projects, which is so awesome. She’s definitely an influencer on why I’m currently writing a long ass text fic now (yes, it’s addicting and fun to write in this format, and I’ve recced her fun text fic below). And the progress she’s made with drawing is mind blowing since she picked it up again early last year. She’s dabbled in traditional and digital art, and I’m so excited to see what else she makes for 2023. Did you know Rin’s an embroiderer, crocheter and a knitter, and she makes some pretty gorgeous fanfic bookbindings? Okay, so bookbinding is NOT any easy thing to do, but Rin just jumped right into this hobby probably late in the summer and has made some really amazing books. Everything from typesetting to printing and getting things cased and pretty is a process. 8908908 kudos for doing the Lord’s work in making fics into something tangible and visually appealing to the eye. I know for a fact I’m probs going to peppering you with q’s as soon as I do have a chance to get my feet wet in bookbinding. If you want to see some Rin’s creative works, here are some of my favourite pieces of hers: 🌈 >>> A Very Owl Post WrtrGrl Anthology and Little Lost Things by flightinflame (Drarry bookbindings)

These two books were gifts Rin made for H/D Owl Post for 2022. All I have to say is look through the photos for each finished piece but also Rin’s process on how things came together for both of them, okay?! Seeing the WIP shots for a single book made by HAND is so cool. And well, pretty paper and fonts and seeing fanfics bound with love is really something special and should be appreciated. 💻 >>> Love Advice (Drarry and Wolfstar, T, 1.1k)

Summary: When it comes to advice about the boy he likes, Harry turns to Moony. Not Padfoot.

Yayy for epistolary fic! I love how fun these letters, and Harry going to Remus and Sirius for romantic advice. It’s sweet and endearing, and seeing Drarry from Wolfstar’s PoV through these letters is pretty hilarious, since it’s very obvious how different Remus and Sirius approach things. What a fun read! 🌈 >>> A Dragon and a Lion Celebrate Christmas (Drarry, G, Crochet)

Summary: What do you gift someone who has everything? Draco decides to make the Chosen One a.k.a. Harry Potter a.k.a. his boyfriend amigurumi versions of themselves for the holidays.

Another H/D Owl Post gift made by Rin, where Harry and Draco are cute AF as animals. They look so squishable! Since I have no crochet skills (yet..I’m working on it), I’m always impressed by folks who can make adorable and tangible creatures like this. And ones that stand up on their own...that’s super important for display purposes! 💻 >>> An Expensive Courtship (Drarry, E, 10.9k)

Summary: Draco spent years gathering up courage, then months of extensive planning, and literally tens of thousands of Galleons in his attempts to woo Harry. Harry just thought they were best friends.

LOL. I love Draco wooing an oblivious Harry in general. And them just being idiots. And the little cameo of Flintwood in this (yay!), and all the ridiculous attempts for the dates. This story totally pokes at the cliches, but that’s what made this fic so fun. Throw in some nosy ass friends, and of course everything seems like it’s a chaotic disaster, or in this case, a lot of misunderstandings. I’m glad Draco and Harry get their heads out their asses eventually and get together though. It just took them a while to move out of that friend zone. *pats them both on the heads* 🌈 >>> It Takes Two to Tango (Flintwood, G)

Summary: Dancing with Marcus Flint at the Quidditch League ceremony was not what Oliver Wood signed up for, but maybe it was what he needed.

SOOO. I know this was gifted to me, but I’m going to be very honest: When I saw this was drawn traditionally and just how well it fit the prompt, I was super giddy over it. I’m very lucky I have the original of this to look at whenever I want, but I think this was one of the first art pieces I saw of Rin’s as she was starting to dive more into drawing. I adore Oliver’s kilt and Marcus taking the lead, and they just look happy to actually be dancing with each other, okay? This has to be a fav of mine because it embraces the fluffier side of Flintwood. 💻 >>> Herbology_Neville and DragonKeeperCW (Herbtamer, E, 11.4 k)

Summary: When Neville starts live-streaming on WixenVid, he’s unsure who would want to watch him ramble about plants for an hour. DragonKeeperCW is very interested in the show (and in Neville).

AHHH! Gosh, this one is just so much fun! I love the Youtube feel of this which makes this stand out already as a story, and Charlie and Neville are so flirty yet soft with each other. The overall humour, sexual tension and fluff mixed ogether works so well. And they’re so true their passions: Neville with his plants, Charlie with his dragons, and when it comes to each other...yessss. :D 💻 >>> 🙀 ➡ 😻 ➡ 😽 (Marvel- Stony, T, 5.2 k)

Summary: Tony puts up a "Missing Cat" sign and not only 1) gets his cat back, but 2) meets a cute guy named Steve who keeps refusing the reward. A story told in texts, voicemail transcriptions, and, of course, an overuse of emojis.

OKAY, I know this is not an HP fic, but I had to include this because it’s hilarious, it’s a text fic, and YES. I’m not even in the Marvel fandom, but I was really intrigued to read a fic that was completely done through texts and gosh, it just works so well with show and tell, shenanigans and I love how people’s personalities can shine through the use of dialogue through technology vs. narration or talking face-to-face. I honestly was cackling by the time I was done with this read because it totally embraces Crack Treated Seriously to the tee. Love this so much! You can find more of Rin’s work on AO3. Make sure to leave kudos and comments to show appreciation for all of her fandom contributions. Rin, your willingness to be curious and try new things is contagious, and you have a way of making people’s day a little brighter. I’m so glad you’re part of fandom and that you’re so passionate about what you love. Keep being you. I hope you have a smashing day!

#anaxandria-writes #drarry #happy birthday #herbtamer #flintwood #wolfstar #hp fanart #hp fanfic #stony #marvel fanfic #art recs #fic recs #rec lists #sugareey does lettering #lettering #sugareey makes origami #sugareey recs things #friends with bdays #fandom friends

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success-through-networking · 23 days ago

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Lessons from Networking – My Journey as a Marketing Management Student

📘 Introduction

Hi, I’m Keerthana Unni Vattezhath, a Marketing Management student at George Brown College. My journey into the world of marketing and financial services has been nothing short of transformative, shaped by continuous learning, networking, and personal growth. Networking has been a cornerstone of my journey, enabling me to build meaningful connections, gain industry insights, and open doors to new opportunities.

Networking has influenced my career aspirations, lessons learned along the way, and some tips for students and professionals on how to make the most of their networking experiences.

🌐My Networking Journey

🌟 🤝 Introduction to LinkedIn

The first steps I have taken to increase my professional network were to create a robust presence on LinkedIn. Over the last few months, I have grown my network to over 215 professionals from diverse industries. It has turned out that LinkedIn is not only a place for me to connect with others but also a place where I share my insights and learn from industry leaders.

For instance, I’ve posted articles on topics like Transforming Credit Card Marketing and Why Customer Experience is Essential, which sparked engaging discussions and helped me connect with like-minded individuals. These interactions have not only broadened my understanding of marketing strategies but have also allowed me to share my perspective on key trends.

Seminars and Industry Events

Attending seminars and workshops was the other pivotal aspect in this networking journey. An overriding session was on the Wealth Management and Social Impact that had Craig Swistun briefing me on his way to the integration of financial services and social responsibility. His manner resonated so deeply with me to look beyond conventional strategies that involve marketing.

These events have been invaluable in exposing me to new ideas, building confidence, and connecting with professionals who share similar interests.

💡Volunteering and Community Involvement

The other experience that greatly influenced my thinking about networking is my volunteering with the Indian Red Cross Society. In this organization, I was part of a team that provided emergency response services, managed first-aid camps, and organized healthcare initiatives within the community. The importance of teamwork, leadership, and communication are just some of the vital concepts I learned from this experience that apply both in personal and professional networking.

🛠️Lessons Learned from Networking

Through my experiences, a few key insights into effective networking involve:

Be Genuine

Sincerity is the backbone of substantial relationships. People appreciate the sincerity with which one may approach and show interest in building up a relationship. Being myself and actually being curious about people's journeys makes the touch more impacting.

Follow up and Keep in Touch

Networking doesn’t end after the first conversation. I’ve learned the importance of following up—whether it’s sending a thank-you message after a LinkedIn connection or checking in after attending an event. Consistent engagement keeps relationships alive and fosters trust.

Listen and Learn

Networking is a two-way street. By actively listening to others’ experiences and challenges, I’ve gained valuable insights that have helped me grow both personally and professionally. Empathy and understanding go a long way in creating strong connections.

Every Interaction Matters

Whether it's a brief conversation at an event or a comment on a LinkedIn post, every interaction is an opportunity to build rapport. Sometimes, the smallest gestures lead to the most meaningful connections.

💬Tips for Students to Build Their Network

For students like me, networking can feel intimidating at first, but here are some tips that have worked for me:

Create a Strong Online Presence

Regularly update your LinkedIn profile with your achievements, posts, and articles. Sharing content relevant to your field helps in the demonstration of expertise and making yourself stand out.

Engage Actively

Never hesitate in commenting on posts, raising questions during seminars, or asking for advice from professionals. Most of them will be willing to share their knowledge.

Prepare Your Elevator Pitch

Be prepared with an elevator speech-a brief but powerful expression of who you are, what you do, and what your career goals include. This may very well spark a great first impression at a networking event.

Join Communities: Join college clubs, professional organizations, or online forums within your industry. These serve as a great avenue for meeting similar individuals and being able to share ideas.

Building a network does take time. It could be discouraging if responses are not immediate, but again, that calls for consistency.

💭Look to the Future

Going forward in my studies of Marketing Management, I hope to utilize my building network in the design and execution of effective marketing campaigns within financial services. For me, networking is not just about finding opportunities; it is about relationships that inspire and support growth.

I want to contribute my bit to innovative marketing campaigns that bring customer satisfaction along with business success. And with each connection, a step gets closer to making it a reality.

Conclusion

Networking has been a game-changer in my personal and professional development. It’s taught me the importance of authenticity, empathy, and lifelong learning. I’m grateful for the connections I’ve made so far and look forward to building more in the future.

What has your networking journey been like? I’d love to hear your stories and tips—feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn or leave a comment below!

www.linkedin.com/in/keerthana-unni-vattezhath-19a068300

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