#and also because i like silliness. for fun and profit

[tozettastone]

this is is very silly and maybe boring but i wish you would write a fic where kakuzu files the akatsuki's taxes. like, are they a non-profit? a government agency? does god just not have to pay taxes?

For this ask meme.

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(I actually wrote a short fic on the topic of Kakuzu doing his taxes 8 years ago, but it's part of that giant fic of Naruto short fics so it's little wonder if you haven't read it: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3977020/chapters/24557799. I decided after a while that I don't really like doing short fics this way and would prefer to post stuff as one shots instead, no matter how short.)

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I think to make a serious go of this I'd need to actually think about how tax systems would be applied in the elemental nations. In this case it would be miles easier to treat the village hidden in the rain like an independent sovereign city state, rather than a locality subordinate to a daimyo? So in that case we'd have to consider Pein the de facto leader of the village.

I would argue under those circumstances that would make Akatsuki, if not a government department, at least a government agency. But maybe even just. The whole government.

But in post-war Rain, where we know much of the civil infrastructure was basically obliterated by a succession of generational conflicts, that might make their tax situation significantly less complicated? Like, it's entirely possible that Nagato has absolutely nothing to work with in terms of existing tax infrastructure when he takes over. Perhaps he just demands a flat % of income earnt by residents and an equally flat % on sales of goods and services. Socially progressive tax settings — or efforts to modify economic behaviour through tax breaks or circumstantial increases — may well not even exist under his regime, or if they do they might be very basic.

I think it might be kind of fun if he just goes "Well we want our village to prosper...?" and then he doesn't have the, like, educational background, to actually effect that at all (unless we think Jiraiya provided any support on learning about this?) so he brings it to the Akatsuki at large and, basically by default, Kakuzu in specific.

"Kakuzu filing Akatsuki's taxes" then becomes "Kakuzu trying to mastermind a tax system which is then presented yearly to Akatsuki as though it's in any way a legitimate governing body." ...And then all of them argue with him about his tax settings, because it's a lot easier to have annoying dissenting opinions when you're actually presented with a draft than it is to come up with a system on your own in the first place.

I actually really like the idea of Akatsuki playing Sim City with the whole Hidden Rain. Like. As their government? Kakuzu is your entire tax system. Sasori is the only guy who has any idea what the village's plumbing looks like and he's nuts about it. Itachi has scooped up the entire early education system and it's awful but nobody can pry it from his trembling hands. I think they'd make a massive mess but it would certainly be fun. I also think you could really give Pein and Konan a bit more personality if you used protecting their village as a driving motivation in such a fic!

I've taken a load of liberties with your idea, anon, but I really think the concept it prompted is quite fun. xD

[kanerallels]

William and Eliza + decorating for Christmas, please?

Hmmm don't mind if I do, enjoy this randomness!

Rapping lightly on the doorframe, William opened the door to Eliza’s office without waiting for a response. “Eliza, we need to—”

He stopped short, staring at the scene before him. The room, usually rather spartan in its decorations, was far from that now. Wreaths hung here and there, and tinsel was draped on every surface that could conceivably carry it— and some that couldn’t. The legs of the desk and both chairs were wrapped in a string of popcorn and cranberries, and garlands of holly trimmed the chairs.

From the ceiling hung easily twenty long strands of red and green paper rings, which criss-crossed the room. And from those strands hung tiny bouquets of what William knew had to be mistletoe.

“What in heaven’s name?” he said.

“I know,” Eliza said irritably, and he followed the sound of her voice to where she was standing on top of her desk. About her feet were strewn several bunches of mistletoe, and as William watched, she reached up and tore another one down. “Don’t ask, just help me put it back how it was.”

“Right,” William said, resolving to ask anyway. He started into the room, only to stop short when Eliza held up a hand.

“No— no, you work on the other end of the room,” she said quickly. “The last thing I need is to get stuck under the mistletoe with you.”

Rolling his eyes, William headed to the far corner of the room, remarking, “Does that really sound so unpleasant? As I recall, the one time I did kiss you—”

“William, I am going to stop you right there. Because today has tried my patience enough, and if you keep talking, I’m going to be forced to brain you with a poinsettia.”

Snorting, William got to work. “Fair enough.”

[lyxchen]

Genuienly I can't get behind all the Squid Game promotion stuff Netflix does. It's kinda gross to me. All the Squid Game events in different cities where you get to play the games and people go around taking pictures with the pink guards and idk posing sexually or calling them 'daddy' and don't even get me started on Squid Game The Challenge. Like no hate to the people taking part in this, they're just having fun but I just don't think this is cool. I don't think seeing kids costumes of players and pink guards is cool. I don't think recreating a show in real live and taking out the bad parts, the parts that are there to send a message is cool and fun. I know a lot of shows have serious themes and I'm not against fandom for Squid Game at all and I also think having fun with the show in fandom without always bringing up its serious messages is totally okay (I do that too) and I also think that Netflix can of course promote a very popular show. But I think once it gets to a point where Netflix makes it silly and cutesy is when it has to stop. Netflix going around different citys and putting up the Red Light, Green Light doll and having random people on the street play the game is just... For what? For promotion? For money?? Of course it's for money but I think it's kind of so gross. Nothing else is irl promoted as much as Squid Game is. I don't see nearly as many events for Bridgerton or Stranger Things. But Netflix RECREATED this show about Horrible Things happening to people, who don't know how to help themselves anymore stuck in a system that is actively working Against them, with real live people stuck in similar situations. For Entertainment. And you know who gets the most money out of it?? Netflix!! A show about poor people taking huge risks to get a better and livable life and in the end Netflix is still the one making all of this money off of it. And they're squeezing every last bit they can out of this show. And it's so disgusting to me. Again I'm not blaming people who take part in this, who go to those events. I just think Netflix shouldn't be making these events in the first place

[eyivibyemi]

✧ I won’t really write descriptions for these, but see original post tags for explanation/commentary on the song snippet ✧

[lovelyahoy]

Dr. Stone: One-shot.

Word Count:7,858.

Warnings: Not much I can think of, except it's all over the place, and a bit suggestive towards the middle. I needed a quick break from a book I'm writing and these two freaks have been plaguing my mind, so this is basically just word dumping.

Summary: Nothing is really set, some parts are over-explained and others are barely developed, I typed until I got bored. (If you're seeing this again it's because I accidentally posted earlier without finishing aha..)

Pairing: Stanley x Fem!Reader x Xeno

Edit: part 2.

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Endless hours of science had never been an issue for Xeno, he was accustomed to working on the same project for multiple days—even months straight. Science (and Stanley) was his sole love, it wasn't filled with unsolvable scenarios, it always had a solution. His nights at the NASA laboratory were lonely, just how he liked it. No noise, no meaningless chatter, only him and his thoughts.

Stanley wasn't much different in this regard, obviously not science, but his priority in the military (and Xeno). Guiding those bambi-like soldiers brought a thrill like no other, they shot perfectly? It was because of him. They landed a really good calculated punch? Also his doing. He was always expected to be at the top, and no way in hell would he ever let anyone distract him from it.

It wasn't until they met [Y/N], the newest addition to the NASA board, that they discovered another love and priority. She wasn't what they had expected at all, [Y/N] wasn't a scientist or an exceptional engineer, nothing even close to any position they offered at NASA. It only took a few days to find out she was only there as a temporary chair filler, for her father who was out of commission due to a "family issue".

Xeno grimaced as the bubbly [H/C] haired girl, read over his file alongside the other board members. He could barely hold in his anger as they skimmed over his perfectly chosen words, equations and unique idea. One by one, the thick file was placed down and he was met by taunting expressions.

"It's interesting I'll give you that Dr. Xeno, however we can't endorse it. The cost of the inevitable failure will be far too much."

The older generation spewed more words onto the already rejected scientist, yet he could only focus on the girl still holding his file open.

"I don't know much about this position, my father asked me out of the blue to show my presence." [Y/N] hummed and softly closed the file cover, a small—yet mischievous smile graced her glossy lips. "But, he did say I could have fun, and this?" She lifted up his idea and waved it around, "This sounds fun! Let's do it."

"You have no authority to do so!" The voice was loud and rough, it bounced off the soundproof walls and [Y/N] tried hard not to show her annoyance.

"Woah~ I wonder what my father would say hearing you talk to his daughter like that, Dr. Von." She playfully waved him off, keeping eye contact with the blank scientist in front of her.

"If he fails the first, second or even third time, I'll cover the cost. When he gets it right, none of you will have the privilege of profiting a single dollar. How about that?"

Oh how she loved playing around with these greedy corrupt monsters.

As for Stanley, his encounter with [Y/N] wasn't as nerve-wracking as it was for Xeno. No, it was absolutely entertaining to say the least.

The blonde puffed out another trail of smoke, his eyes glanced to the side to see the sprawled mess of [H/C] locks on the bar counter. He hadn't even considered sitting down for this long, but something quietly begged him to sit next to the seemingly tipsy woman.

Her head lifted up to meet his amused gaze, he twitched noticing tears flooding her pretty [E/C] colored eyes. A finger was pointed at his face, close to jabbing his nose. Stanley couldn't help but smile at how silly she looked right now.

"G-get away from me before I do you a favor b-because you're cute!" Her voice came out stumbling and mumbled, he managed to catch onto every single word due to his good hearing.

"Like what?" He teased, playfully twirling a strand of her hair while she failed to push his hand away.

"Like agreeing to pay for your experiments!" Her finger finally managed to boop his nose, "My dad is gonna kill me when I write the $600,000 check, not once but maybe even thrice! All because he was so cute, that stupid cute looking Dr. X."

Oh. Stanley's eyes widened with recognition, his childhood friend had been happily rambling on about his fully funded project, he tuned out the nerdy details and only paid attention when Xeno brought up that it was all thanks to a temporary board member. [Y/N], her name was [Y/N]. There was no way he could forget it, that mad scientist had practically engraved the name into his mind with how many times he mumbled it.

"It's not even about the money actually, but how could I ever say no to him? And you—!" She sighed dramatically, moving her hand away from his gorgeous face. "Don't you dare propose anything!"

He couldn't help but let out a chuckle at her cute rambling, he had to agree wholeheartedly. "Don't worry, I can't say no to him either."

"IS HE YOUR BOYFRIEND? I'M SORRY BUT HE'S SO CUTE I WON'T TAKE IT BACK!" [Y/N] lunged forward grabbing ahold of his shoulders and shook him back and forth, the tears that had disappeared moments ago were spilling again.

Stanley grabbed her elbows gently, stopping her movement. A meek apology left her pouting lips as she settled into her seat, [Y/N] tried to flag down the bartender, desperately needing a shot to down her embarrassment. The man next to her shook his head at the girl behind the counter, she nodded taking away the dirty cups.

"Let's get you home."

After getting her address he made sure her seatbelt was on before driving off, his window rolled down letting the smoke drift out the car. The cigarette dangled from his lips, a hand on the steering wheel while the other guided the cancer stick.

[Y/N] softly snored into the seat, holding onto a pillow she had stolen taken from one of the sofas at the bar. Stanley tried to take it away, god knows what or who touched it prior. He failed miserably, a little ticked off but low-key proud of her deadly grip.

Dropping her off was awkward, nothing Stanley couldn't handle. Still, he was not used to dropping off people he met at bars anywhere other than his own apartment. Her dad managed to wake her up, guiding her back into the grand mansion.

"Thank you for helping her, she gets carried away sometimes." He laughed it off, but couldn't hide the worry in his voice.

"No problem."

"noooo~ dad! Don't let the pretty man leave!" [Y/N] turned around in her dad's arms and made grabby hands towards a humored blonde, her [E/C] eyes were wide filled entirely with sparkles, a small bambi is what she looked like.

She had definitely become his favorite bambi.

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[Y/N] entered the NASA laboratory looking for a certain white haired male, while she had practically forced the board to accept his crazy idea, they needed to skim over a few details before proceeding. Except she hadn't expected both of the different worlds she met yesterday to be standing closely together watching small sparks emit from a glass container.

"Ah, how elegant of you to join us, [Y/N]." She brushed off her heart skipping a beat, the way his voice uttered her name was heavenly.

After remembering last night, she was absolutely mortified. Not only did she ramble to a total stranger, she rambled about their boyfriend! The blonde man hadn't denied or confirmed their relationship, but when her eyes trailed over how tightly he was hugging the scientist with a gentle expression on his face, there was no denying it.

"Yeah, Hi." She squeaked out, walking towards them almost robotically. [Y/N] placed down her notebook and sat on the grey stool, face warming up when Stanley rubbed his cheek against Xeno's affectionately before pulling away.

"I need to know which parts you need, these old assholes decided to leave everything to me as punishment." She huffed, eyes softening before looking at a stone-faced Xeno. "Don't look at me like that! I never said i regretted it or anything."

"I was only joking, dear." He sent her a smile, starting to disassemble the small experiment he had shown Stanley. [Y/N] couldn't help but admire how the sleeves of his white lab coat were rolled up showing off his arms, sure he wasn't super built but it stirred something in her. Her hand slowly raised up to hide her mouth, annoyed at how attractive these two men were.

"Hangover?"

"Huh? Oh, no. You stopped me before I could teeter into that hell."

"I've been wondering, what exactly is it that you do, [Y/N]?" Xeno finished up wiping down the counter and threw away the towels before sitting directly in front of her. His head rested against his hand, elbow propped on the counter.

She noticed the way he crossed his legs too, how could a man look so hot just sitting there? [Y/N] cleared her throat, fidgeting in her seat as she felt both pairs of eyes staring at her intently.

"I'm a medical student, well I was..." A sigh left her lips, "I'm taking a gap year." They didn't press her for further answers, seeing how she made no move to add more details.

"So you're going to be your old man's stand-in for a year?"

"Basically." She chuckled remembering the words her father had given her, "He specifically asked me to annoy the hell out of the board members by doing whatever it is I wanted. Apparently he was fed up with good projects being denied while he wasn't present."

Xeno did remember Dr. [L/N] giving him proper feedback on why they couldn't and could do certain projects of his, he was a man he respected.

"I really have no clue what I'm doing Xeno, so please don't hand me a file filled with a world-ending plan."

"Why, you wouldn't deny it?"

Oh.

Oh.

"NO YOU DID NOT!" [Y/N] stood up quickly, the stool fell to the ground with a loud 'clank'. Her face was beet red trying her best to glare down at the duo smiling at her with nothing but amusement dancing in their eyes.

"Did what? Tell Xeno how you found him cute and that's why you couldn't say no to him? No, I didn't—oh wait." Stanley turned his face away from them and slid open the window to bring out a cigarette.

"If it makes you feel any better, that's news to me."

He was definitely playing with her, the smile on his face hadn't faltered in the slightest. This bastard was having fun.

"Why would that make me fe—just fill that out!" [Y/N] pushed her notebook towards the scientist and stomped out the room extremely flustered.

"So, what do you think?" Stanley exhaled while turning to see Xeno curiously looking at the door she had left through.

"An elegant possibility."

A few months had passed and before they knew it, hanging around the laboratory had become the new normal. Stanley by the window, Xeno playing around with chemicals (and settling very, very far away from the cancer smoke, he didn't need anything blowing up.) and [Y/N] getting distracted by the cool colors the mixtures made.

"Stop staring and get back to studying, bambi."

Bambi. Stanley's oh so 'perfect' nickname for her, she tried to get him to drop the name for weeks but he refused to budge. It bothered her only because of what it represented, a defenseless and cute thing. Only she was allowed to call them cute.

[Y/N] mocked his words under her breath with a high pitch voice, focusing on her medical notes scribbled and highlighted. Even if she was taking a year off to help her dad, there wasn't any time to slack off. Board meetings were so goddamn boring, she couldn't even hide the sparkles that bounced around in her [E/C] eyes whenever Xeno came into a meeting with a progress report or new idea.

"By the way, you guys never answered me. Are you dating?"

They barely reacted to the question, still focusing on their own activities. She didn't know why exactly she craved and feared for their answer, [Y/N] was undoubtedly attracted to them both equally.

Xeno's happy little face while info dumping on them, onyx eyes that lit up whenever she'd ask a question genuinely intrigued by the topic. Stanley, who always teased her but never crossed the line. He knew when to back away and change his words depending on how she was feeling that day, his awareness towards both her and Xeno was...to say the least...hot.

[Y/N] stopped writing, a blush taking over her face when she noticed Xeno peeking over the counter to read her notes. Her heart dropped into her stomach hearing his laugh, she was not going to live this down, was she?

"Inflammation of the myocardium, a great percentage of high risk patients are usually men in their 20 to 40's. Men, men, stanxeno."

"STOP READING IT!"

The medical student was too focused on trying to block Xeno's field of view to notice Stanley walking up to them, he leaned over her shoulder to stare down at the notebook. His face slightly bumped into hers and gave zero indication that he planned on moving.

She knew he could feel her warm cheek pressed against his, Xeno smirked leaning even more forward over the metal table. His face was only inches away from hers, they were messing with her, again.

[Y/N] swallowed the knot building up in her throat, she was deeply embarrassed. Her thoughts on them were running wild from the close proximity of both men, she slammed her book closed—still not moving away from them.

"Why so curious, bambi?"

"Is there a deeper reasoning to your question, dear?"

God the nicknames, how could she ever function like a proper human after hearing the way they called her? She always felt giddy whenever they'd do this, invading her privacy with lingering touches and words falling like sweet honey—but she couldn't ignore the small, teeny tiny part of her that felt as if they were just playing around. To relish in her obvious attraction towards them, something she miserably failed at hiding.

"Am I imposing on your quality time together by always being here?"

[Y/N] was as surprised as Xeno and Stanley, that isn't what she was even thinking at the moment! Why'd she go and say it? Sure she thought of it sometimes but never had the courage to ask, what if they said yes? She'd never be able to meet their eyes again.

A few seconds of silence were starting to scare her, she felt Stanley shift, thinking he was pulling away until warm lips pressed again her cheek softly. Her [E/C] eyes widened keeping eye contact with Xeno, who raised a hand to brush a strand of [H/C] hair behind her ear. They both pulled away at the same time, leaving a stuttering [Y/N] to collect her thoughts that were in shambles.

Her fingers lightly pressed against her cheeks, one where the kiss was placed and the other where Xeno's fingers brushed by. She took a hand away, blush intensifying seeing the purple lipstick staining her fingers. [Y/N] took a deep breath in before looking up at them standing next to each other now, brain melting when Stanley wrapped an arm around the scientist, Xeno caressing the blonde's face as they both continued to stare at her.

"We've never labeled it, it's like an open relationship."

The girl in front of them deflated comically like a balloon, face almost slamming onto the table. Nope, all her dreams and fantasies had been drained at that sentence. She liked-liked them, both. An open relationship meant their loyalty lied emotionally between them but not physically, she couldn't work with that. The faces they were giving her stirred nothing but worry within, almost like an invitation to join them on this little adventure.

[Y/N] badly wanted to scream yes! and take the opportunity they were offering on a silver platter, sure it'd be okay at first...however in the long run she knew jealousy would win her over. They wouldn't be hers they'd still see other people while being with her, and the [H/C] haired girl wouldn't be able to emotionally endure it.

"I see."

"You sound disappointed, dear." Their little show melted away, awkwardly glancing at each other when they noticed her flustered state disappear into a neutral expression.

She sighed lightly, might as well try and get over her feelings now rather than letting them grow further. Her fingers twirled the mechanical pencil as a way to fidget, building up the courage to spill her words.

"I like you both." Their faces didn't change in the slightest, they knew already. "As much as my heart is telling me to leap at the offer, my brain is encouraging me to step away before I hurt myself."

[Y/N] started to pack her things, avoiding their eyes. Oh my god, she was going to jump off the fucking NASA rooftop after this. She didn't want to keep talking but it felt like word vomit.

"I'm interested in a relationship with just us three, having other people linger in-between would make me feel like I'm not good enough for you guys." She zipped the backpack and hugged it close to her chest, hiding the bottom half of her face. "Thank you for today." [Y/N] rushed a polite bow and made her way to the door.

Before she could even grab the handle, a hand landed on her head, it turned her to come face to face with Stanley. She couldn't muster up the courage to ask what he was doing, but she didn't even have time to. His lips landed on hers, an arm wrapped around her waist colliding her into his chest and in turn causing the backpack to slip from her arms.

A few tears built up as she indulged the blonde, his lips were soft, avoiding rushing her. It only took a few milliseconds for [Y/N] to return the kiss, lips parting and allowing him to slip in his tongue. She'd never kissed anyone like this, it left her feeling vulnerable, like her heart was on her sleeve.

Her hands cupped his face with a gentle grip, she wondered if his body hurt bending down slightly to kiss her. [Y/N]'s lips slipped from his, only to get pulled back in quickly. Xeno took this opportunity to stand behind her and nuzzle his face into her neck, unbuttoning her white collared shirt and slipping it down from one of her shoulders.

His own lips made a trail from her jawline down to her neck and across her bare shoulder. One of the hands on Stanley's face was moved back to come in contact with Xeno's. He cupped over her hand with his own and continued to pepper kisses on her [S/C] skin, a whimper was muffled.

The tears finally escaped her eyes, trailing down her face. The droplets landed on both men, they pulled away from her still holding [Y/N] close.

"D-don't do that!" She unenergetically hit Stanley's chest, "Don't give me false hope.." her sniffles echoed lightly in the laboratory, she was flooded by nothing but embarrassment.

"Let's do it." The blonde ignored her weak fists against him and wiped away her tears, Xeno gently turned her head to place a chaste kiss against her swollen lips.

"Just us three, right my dear?"

[Y/N] woke up the next morning feeling like she was on top of the world and still drowning in shyness. Her face was stuffed into a pillow, concealing her squeals. She kicked her feet roughly, leaving her personal maid to hide her smile behind a hand.

"Ruby, I'm so happy I could dieeeee."

"Please don't, Miss [Y/N]."

Ruby had never seen [Y/N] this giddy, she was absolutely over the moon. Her trip down memory lane was cut short when the loud sound of the girl in her care falling reached her ears, she hurriedly walked around the bed to see the mistress still letting out happy noises.

"I'm going on a date with them! Help me pick out the best outfit Ruby!" It was barely noon on a sunday, NASA had issued a full day off to every employee, why? She didn't care to listen for the reason, her ears were preoccupied hearing Xeno and Stan plan a date.

"Them? Are they gender neutral?" Ruby caught all the clothing being thrown out the closet, doing her best in the thick maid outfit she always had inside the manor.

"Huh? Oh, no, them. As in, two." The poor maid couldn't even dodge the shoe thrown her way, hitting her square in the forehead and falling back.

"Shit! Ruby I'm so sorry!" [Y/N] frantically bounced around the dizzy woman, Ruby blinked her hazel eyes twice before settling them onto the worried rich girl.

"How will your father react?"

haha...oh,

"I didn't think of that."

Her father sent her to NASA to fuck around with the board members, not fuck with employees! Well technically Stanley was only there during his free time, but still! She couldn't go up to him and say, 'Hey dad! I managed to piss the old dudes off, and I got myself not one, but two boyfriends!'

World end her now.

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"Oh my gosh!" [Y/N]'s body was over Xeno's shoulder, face a few inches away from his screen. Unfortunately Stanley was too busy to come by for the week, so it left the mad scientist and the medical student to hang out together.

Xeno held a firm hand on her midsection, holding [Y/N] up to the best of his ability. He was in the middle of responding to his mentee, completely immersed in the lengthy email consisting of rocket science, when [E/C] eyes landed on the picture of the white and green haired boy holding a test rocket.

"He's so cute!" She poked the screen, ignoring the English gibberish of science littered around the zoomed-in picture. "He's like a mini you."

"[Y/N] dear, you're crushing me." She apologized and got off of him, scooting her chair closer and settling next to him. He smiled feeling her shoulder bump into his and stay there, [Y/N] had been a little reserved with her physical contact towards them but after two solid month of dating she'd gotten comfortable and extremely cocky.

Xeno didn't mind it, he felt pride knowing she felt lucky to have him, even if he felt like him and Stanley hit the jackpot instead. The blonde usually tuned him out during his rambles, that didn't bother him in the slightest, Stan listened when it was important and that was good enough for him. [Y/N] on the other hand, indulged him quiet often, even if she didn't understand most words and comparisons, her questions and interest made his heart fill with a warm feeling.

"I still can't believe an elementary kid built a rocket, that actually went up in the air..." Her childhood was filled with music up until she picked up a book about hearts in her big library, at the mere age of eight she completely spent her time studying. To acquire the ability to help as many people as she could, sparked something she couldn't understand. Xeno tried to explain the feeling in his usual science-y way and she got lost along the words.

"He's from Japan, reading and writing these emails using an English dictionary. Senku's efforts are quite elegant."

"Devoted little thing isn't he? I wanna meet him and pinch his chubby cheeks." She cooed once again at the picture, whining when Xeno clicked off of it and continued scrolling through the information.

"Fawning over a different scientist is—" He didn't even get to finish his sentence before his face was being quickly peppered with light kisses, from his forehead to his cheeks, to his nose and finally his lips. [Y/N] pulled away and snuggled back into his side, leaving him with enough space to type away at the keyboard.

Xeno didn't continue speaking, trying to fight the light red on his face before she could glimpse at it. She effortlessly achieved flustering him on multiple occasions, something Stan regularly tried—and failed at. If he knew, he'd never let Xeno forget it.

"That part, isn't it like $10k? How is a kid going to get that?" Xeno smirked adding a picture of said part, a machinery she had to purchase multiple times because he kept exploding it. [Y/N] grabbed her phone and used a currency exchanger to see the total in yen, ¥1.5 million.

"A true scientist finds a way."

"Seriously? Tell him to send you his address!" Xeno's eye twitched as his girlfriend pulled out a checkbook, scribbling a big number obscured to him. "I'll set up a card for him, hmm but can he buy stuff in dollars while he's in Japan?" She tapped the pen against her chin.

"Oh! I'll just make it an online account so he can order the parts instead." The scientist didn't even try to interfere, knowing full well rich people just thought differently from the rest. He finished up writing his email and added a small note at the bottom.

'P.S, you'll be receiving an email from [L/N]_@NASA.×∆×.com.'

Senku had read an article about [Dad Name] [L/N], a genius who built one of the strongest rockets recorded in history. He was excited to receive some sort of mentorship from the older man, sure Dr. X was plenty of help, but more couldn't hurt.

The boy had just come back from school, eagerly rushing towards his computer ignoring Byakuya's yelling for him to go eat. He skimmed through his emails, first reading an update from his mentor then his eyes sparkled seeing the anticipated email appear at the top of his inbox.

'Hi! Here's an account with around 10 million yen, it's in American currency so you'll have to order online. Have fun, oh! And make sure to send more pictures.'

Bank of America details:

User: [Y/N]Senkufund

Pw: adorablesenkufund223

Love, [Y/N].

...

...

What the hell? The entire email was littered with heart symbols. Adorable? Who was this [Y/N] weirdo? Despite his suspicion, the email address checked out with what Dr. X mentioned. He opened a new window tab and went to the bank website, typing in the details. His scarlet eyes lit up with ¥ signs, he could get past the creepy message if it meant he could buy the parts he needed. It was temporary until his dad managed to be an astronaut an get his very own NASA card.

Senku typed out a hasty thank you, his mouse hovered hesitantly on the add image option. He had taken a new one just recently with Taiju included, it was them covered in ash from a mild explosion, should he send it? He glanced at the money this person sent, well it wouldn't hurt to do it once right?

He was startled at how fast the reply had come. He didn't bother reading much of it, noticing the paragraph beginning with capitalized letters and once again, being plastered with hearts all over. The title itself was five red hearts.

Despite thinking it'd be one time exchange, this [Y/N] person toned it down after a few more exchanges. Senku had even looked forward to their little medical lessons, it was a type of science after all.

'So you weren't a complete oaf. Good to know, I was starting to doubt Dr. X.'

+Image attached

-Senku.

That offended [Y/N], how dare this little bok-choy looking kid doubt her boyfriend? The image sent made her forget his initial words, squealing at how cute the boy looked grumpily looking into the camera holding his latest science project he presented at his school fair.

'I know I promised no more hearts but you're too cute! ❤︎❤︎❤︎ Once I get married I'll adopt you.❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎

Love, [Y/N]❤︎'

-

'Already adopted, and who would even marry you?'

-Senku.

The little gremlin chuckled, slurping his ramen. The sound of a new inbox and Senku choking on his food filled the room. He blinked frantically at the response.

'First of all, I'd win the court case if i wanted.

As for marriage, it's going to be your dear Dr. X and someone else, obviously~

Love, [Y/N].'

Senku could only focus on his mentor being in cahoots with this mental case, he was definitely going take the logical route and avoid taking this path.

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[Y/N] groaned into Stanley's chest, body feeling extremely sore. She had jokingly encouraged her blonde boyfriend to teach her how to shoot a gun, that turned into a full blown training regiment he made. It included physical training and he even body slammed her! (very carefully, but not the point.)

The mixed smell from his earlier cigarette and cologne filled her nostrils, at first it did tickle her nose, now she was used to it and even longed for it throughout her days. She could cope at work when Xeno was around, still, having the blonde away from them felt like an eternity.

"Did you learn anything?" He was amused by the sounds she was making, he held her in his arms, his fingers lightly tracing patterns on her back.

It wasn't until his girlfriend slept over for the first time that he and Xeno found out she slept with a long T-shirt and her underwear, obviously now she constantly stole their shirts, sometimes finding them back in the closet with a cute gloss lipstick stain. Stanley was guilty of doing this himself, with purple of course.

After starting an established relationship between this little doctor in the making and his childhood friend, both men agreed to get their own apartment together. [Y/N] mentioned wanting to stay with her dad while he was usually at home now, planning to move in with them after the year passes.

"Yes, three things."

"Hm?"

"That you look really fucking hot when you're drenched in sweat." She snuggled closer into him, blushing when his hand gripper her hip in response. "You look even hotter holding a gun, and...when you uh..." her words were low and muffled.

Stanley heard them loud and clear, mumbling like that only worked with Xeno. He smirked flipping their bodies over, her legs were wrapped around his hips due to the startle he gave her. [Y/N]'s blush intensified when the blonde caged both her hands above her head, his free hand performing a 'tactile exploration' near her inner thighs. The pads of his fingers left lingering tingles on her skin, a gasp flying past her lips when they made contact with her clothed clit.

"When I had you at my mercy, huh?" Repeating her words with a teasing tone, Stanley leaned forward while pulling her shirt up above her bra. His purple lipstick left marks on her cleavage before slowly descending down her stomach, hips and lastly a quick kiss on her underwear.

"Stan.."

"[Y/N].." He mimicked her breathless tone, annoying her and barely avoiding the knee she raised to his face. They stayed in that position gazing into each other's eyes, her [E/C] irises relaxed significantly. [Y/N] lowered her knee and settled it around him again, the heels of her feet slightly digging into his back pushing him lower onto her.

Stanley release his grip on her hands and welcomed the embrace, allowing his head to rest between where her neck and shoulder met. [Y/N]'s fingers tangled into his slightly long blonde hair, massaging his scalp.

The sound of keys jingling and the front door opening made them both glance a their bedroom door, silently waiting for the person to walk in. Xeno came in loosening his tie and dragged it down, showing off a bit of his collarbone. He sent them a tired smile and walked towards the closet, unbuttoning the rest of his shirt and slipping it off.

"Did you see that, Stan? Him and ties.."

"He never lets us take it off for him."

"Because it always ends up in sex."

Xeno finally slipped on more comfortable clothing, folding his lab coat and setting it in the laundry basket. He walked towards the bed, immediately getting pulled into a hug. His stress melted away as his partners cooed him gently, the new position consisted of Stanley slightly propped up by two pillows, followed by [Y/N] resting her back against him and finally Xeno's face squished into her chest. Arms wrapped around each other in any way possible.

"They held you up for so long, is everything okay?"

"The board was trying to convince me to swap sponsors, my project is estimated to bring a huge revenue." The laugh leaving his girlfriend causes his body to move up and down alongside her chest, he huffed a chuckle in response.

Stanley reached over to massage Xeno's tense shoulders, watching the scientist groan happily in response. No further words were exchanged, all three relished in comfort.

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A happy [Y/N] bounced down the halls of the NASA building, eventually making it down to the break room where a lot of employees gathered to eat or talk together.

She no longer wore a work outfit, her year was up and now was fully focused on her career (for the most part). Most of them didn't know who she was, except one present man who always greeted her every morning she came in.

"Good morning [Y/N]!" Byakuya greeted her with a bright smile, [Y/N] turned to gaze at the newest addition to NASA. Despite only being there for a month or so, he'd become a friendly face. He opened the shared fridge, chuckling when she put a black plastic container with a cute heart-shaped note on it inside.

"Your boyfriend sure is a lucky guy." The older man raised an eyebrow when he caught glimpse of another lunch inside her backpack, she didn't react to him noticing nor did she try to hide it.

[Y/N] wasn't aware of his concerned gaze, thinking solely on how late Xeno would be getting home today. She had made an earlier stop at the laboratory for a quick kiss and was sadly sent on her way right after. A sigh left her lips, she turned to look at Byakuya who now held a tight lipped smile—an eyebrow raised at his changed expression.

"Yeah he is, well I'll see you later Byakuya, I have to go drop off lunch for my boyfriend." [Y/N] waved making her way to the door.

"Bye [Y/N]—" the door closed, "wait, what?"

He turned to look at his coworkers who shrugged in response, why did he have to witness or hear this? He didn't want drama, but letting someone string along a fellow coworker felt harsh and guilt overwhelmed him. Byakuya opened the fridge to glance at the note.

'YOU BETTER EAT IT XENO.

Love you, [Y/N]❤︎''

Xeno, Xeno, that Xeno? He had seen him very few times, the scientist spent 90% of his time cooped up in the laboratory. Woah, never would he had expected the serious white haired male to be dating such a cheery person. That thought brought down his mood, how should he bring it up?

Byakuya didn't get much time to think it over, seeing the man clouding his mind walk into the break room and head straight over to the coffee pot. His thermal cup was black and littered with colorful stickers, he noticed they resembled the shape of hearts [Y/N] always drew.

"[Y/N]?"

Xeno noticed the finger pointing at his cup, a huff of amusement left his lips before nodding. "She insisted on it, mumbling something about marking territory."

"I hope I don't offend you, uh—" His voice froze when the scientist turned to give him his full attention, head slightly tilting and encouraging him to continue. "Ithink[Y/N]isseeingsomeoneelseotherthanyou!"

"Is that right?" Xeno quickly took a sip of coffee, a perfect way to hide his smirk and compose himself. "How un-elegant, say, Byakuya right? Would it be too much to ask if you could find out for me? Lately I've been stuck at work, leaving almost no room to speak to my partner."

...

...

"WHAT!? BYAKUYA WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR!?"

After a solid week of being ticked off by the older man's squinting gazes, and always asking her about her earlier or later whereabouts, [Y/N] finally had enough and cornered him once everyone left the room, he was sweating bullets when she asked what was wrong. The glint in her [E/C] eyes scared him like nothing else.

To which in a state of panic, he replied with a rushed "ARE YOU CHEATING ON THAT SCIENTIST?"

"Ah! I'm sorry but i couldn't ignore the signs! And when I asked Xeno, he asked me to figure it out for him."

"Oh that motherfucker," [Y/N] made a strangling motion with her hands, scaring the poor man in front of her. "Xeno and I have another partner okay! I'm not a cheater."

The amount of apologies that spilled from Byakuya were starting to overwhelm her, tears threatening to spill out as his body flung back and forth in a fast bowing motion. She awkwardly pat his shoulder, accepting his apology. From an outside perspective she guess it did look suspicious, Xeno was going to pay for this.

"Don't listen to that disney villain, he may look serious but he's a mischievous little thing."

"H-have I met them?" His attempt to change the conversation topic was easily received, her aura took a complete turn into a gushy looking fangirl.

"You've probably seen him around Xeno, he's a soldier. Tall, blonde, pretty face, caramel eyes, wears purple lipstick, hot, always smoking, did I say hot already?" She rambled a few more compliments before clearing her throat.

"His name is Stanley, Xeno and him were technically together before they met me."

"How does it work? I'm curious, a relationship with one person is sometimes very complicated, I can't wrap my head around three people in one."

That is how Byakuya had become her gossip buddy, how she frequently chatted up a storm while balancing her focus onto her studying, always astonished him.

The following night had the polyamorous couple sitting at their small dinning table, the girl sat in the middle while both men sat at the ends of the table—still close enough to each other though.

"You let him think I was a common whore!" [Y/N] angrily shoved a spoonful of rice into her mouth, cheeks puffed out and [E/C] eyes glaring into Xeno's soul. He couldn't take her seriously, to him she looked like a squirrel right now.

"Stan, tell him something." Her eyes were wide, sending a pleading face to her soldier boyfriend, he playfully ruffled her hair before turning towards the amused man.

"Bad Xeno."

"I'm going to choke you fuckers."

"Oh? sounds like a threat."

"That's right!"

"Would it perhaps be happening in the bedroom?"

[Y/N] stopped. Stanley stopped. Hell even Xeno's eyebrow raised at his own words, he wasn't one for sexual desires, usually leaving it up to his partners to decide and act it out. He smiled down at a [Y/N] who scooted closer to him with no traces of her earlier fake anger, she looked like a curious kid.

"Did you mean that?" she whispered, truly wondering if she heard him wrong.

"Shall we find out?" [Y/N] glanced back at Stanley who only shrugged in response, he didn't know what was happening either.

"Ok, you're forgiven." She snatched up the plates and the cup in the blonde's hand, practically throwing them into the sink. "Bedroom now."

"I think you awakened something within her." Stanley stood up and pushed his chair in, making eye contact with a sweat dropping Xeno.

"How...elegant.."

(He was scared.)

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The soft light of the candles decorating the dining table made her [S/C] skin glow, she blinked curiously as her boyfriends of nearly three years now stood in front of her. They quickly shared a glance then nodded, they both dug into their suit pockets and each took out a small velvet colored box.

Her [E/C] eyes filled with tears when they opened them, in Stanley's box laid a beautiful ring with a honey colored gem shaped like a diamond. Xeno's was the same size and shape, but his had a black diamond.

"[Y/N], when we first met—"

"YES! YES I WILL!" She extended her hand out, eyes closed and sporting a huge smile on her face. Hearty laughs reached her ears as she felt the rings slip onto her finger, a hand brushed away the tears on her face.

She opened her eyes to see them holding out two more rings, this one had a gem with the same color as her eyes. Xeno and Stanley held out their own hands, already wearing each other's colors. [Y/N] softly slid her ring right above the other, quickly taking out her phone to take a picture of their hands.

"I love you both." The [H/C] haired girl sniffled as they brought her into a sandwiched hug, their own confessions tickling her ears. To say she was happy was an understatement, she felt a bit bad not letting them pop the question in their own way—however her eagerness had won over her rational thinking.

It was a bit unfortunate they couldn't legally get married, despite this minor thing, she happily gushed about her husbands to anyone who asked about her rings. Some were understandably confused or amazed, [Y/N] defended her relationship with every fiber of her being no matter what comment was thrown at them. Both guys often told her to ignore it like they do, but it made her mad how people had the balls to question them so rudely at times.

"My baby is all grown up!" [D/N] wiped his tears away with a handkerchief, Ruby providing a new one every few moments.

"We celebrated on our own already, but I remember you made me promise to let you plan my future wedding." [Y/N] gave her dad a bright smile, "So go for it."

"Of course darling, it's time to show everyone how my daughter is the only one who could bag two successful men at once."

"Okay, where in the world did you hear that term?"

"From this app called tweeter, people are very funny there. [Cousin's name] got it on my phone."

"Delete it and go back to reading your nerdy articles."

The wedding ceremony was held in her old home's gigantic backyard and it was absolutely beautiful, the gleeful bride was chatting away with her bridesmaids, leaving both grooms to stand by the wine station. Stanley's fingers itched to hold a cigarette, although because he promised to avoid it for today, he was coping with wine—glass after glass.

From the red carpet leading up to the wedding arch, to the flowers on every table and grass, it all screamed money. Xeno's eyes lingered on the snack table, filled to the brim with expensive looking dishes ranging from caviar to weird looking oysters, and…were those golden flakes?

"Stop drinking like a madman, Stan."

The blonde could only smirk, leaning down to place a kiss on Xeno's cheek before pouring himself another glass. The scientist could only smile in return, his heart bloomed with pure warmth.

"Our wife looks quite elegant." She wore a white dress with a sweetheart neckline, fabric hugging her waist and hips tightly before flaring out near her mid thighs. Her veil was removed earlier by them, showing off her [H/C] hair styled perfectly into a bun with curly strands framing her face.

"Best part of today." Stanley's eyes softened up seeing [Y/N] making her way towards them, surprised when her cheek puffed out close to his face.

"You gave Xee one..."

Oh.

[Y/N] refused to clean up the dark purple lipstick, showing it off with every ounce of pride she could muster. After what felt like a billion pictures, she made a quick trip to her room and changed into a much lighter and shorter dress. It didn't take long for the girl to start stumbling in her heels thanks to downing five glasses of alcohol in a short span of time.

"I'm so happy, we're getting married!"

"Last time I saw her drunk was when we first met."

"Think she agreed to our proposal because we're cute?"

Stanley chuckled, "I wouldn't put it past her." they both watched her stuff her face with anything she came across with adoration in their eyes.

"Not going to dance my dear?" She gazed at the guests moving in sync with the slow song.

"We can dance in private later."

"You've gotten quite bold, bambi."

[Y/N] wiped away the sauce that stained her lips with a napkin, turning to look at them. "No offense hubbies, neither of you can dance. I'm saving you."

That didn't stop her from swaying around them, playfully twirling them as she bit into a cookie. They indulged her cute antics throughout the night, even having a few minutes of Stanley forcing Xeno into a very intimate dance of waltz. By the end of the celebration, both [Y/N] and Xeno were plastered with purple stains over their faces and neck.

Very few guests lingered, most had given their blessings and bid them a goodnight. They stayed in their own little bubble, the very annoying topic of a secret gathering they needed to attend in about a week came up. Strange appearances of stone swallows were being posted online, surprisingly Senku had been the one to post a full article on it, giving the scientists at NASA a bit more information.

[Y/N] was only attending because she was nosey, and no way she was going to spend a week of her honeymoon vacation alone. Even if it was work only, she'd sure as hell be next to them.

"Right after that stupid meeting, we're settling in our room and staying there forever!" Stanley gently took away the half empty glass from her hands, downing it himself to avoid her getting even more wasted.

"You'll get to meet that Dr. Chelsea girl you found adorable." Xeno knew exactly what to say to lighten up her mood.

[Y/N] brought their hands into her lap, squeezing both with a smile on her face. It had been a few days and still, she couldn't wrap her head around the fact that she was married to her soulmates.

"Tonight was amazing, we should do it again and again....we can, right?"

"We can."

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Xtra thing

"—god I miss my husband's blonde hair." [Y/N] had her body sprawled dramatically on the boat's floor, an amused Xeno sat nearby with his hands tied together.

"Wait, I thought you were married to this weird man." A blonde girl with blue eyes blinked at the whining woman, she was 100% sure [Y/N] mentioned "My husband's really smart huh?" while hugging Xeno.

"No way, she was talking about the other dude." Chrome nodded his head along with his words.

"Who hugs someone like that, while saying—well that!"

"A woman who has two husbands." Senku walked into the room, narrowly avoiding the hug sent his way. "This idiot managed to trick them into marriage."

"I did no such thing!" [Y/N] shoved her hand into the leek's face, showing off her glittering rings. Right before the beam reached them, she saw one of Luna's boy toys stuff a ring into his mouth—not having any time to rationally think, she did the same. Waking up and seeing her hubbies with nothing on their finger had her depressed for the first few months, until Xeno replicated them once again.

Before the teenager-not really a teenager anymore could untie the older scientist, his wrist was grabbed by the [H/C] haired doctor. His scarlet eyes filled with confusion.

"Leave his ass tied, not only did he issue a kill order on my child, he looks hot like this."

"I'm not your damned child."

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help idk.

[judenostopwaitkeepgoing]

A Class Analysis of the Crown Villains

Analyzing all of the EN-released Villains from who would be the most to least wealthy in 1890s Victorian England.

A/N: This is just for fun! These characters/stories are not that deep, and I don’t want them to be! I just find it fun and silly to think through what this world would actually look like in history, and maybe you do too! 😊 Spoilers for pretty much every villain on the EN server, so read at your own risk! Also I am not a historian or economist, just a gal with a computer, so take all of this with a grain of salt.

Also, I’m assuming that Ikémen Villains takes place sometime in the 1890s in London, England—the tail end of Queen Victoria’s rule. This estimated time frame is based mostly on Harry’s love of Arthur Conan Doyle and passing mentions of when “he has a new novel coming out.” Doyle was a prolific writer and wrote for a long time, but I wanted to keep the time period specific enough to really think through what the economics would be like.

Wealthiest - Jude Jazza

Originally I was going to put the villains who belong to the gentry (Elbert and William and ... Victor??? Maybe?? haha) at the top of the list, but the more I thought it through, the more it became clear that in order for Jude to realistically carry out some of the actions in his route (which I haven’t finished!) or various story events/collection events, he would need to be so fucking rich. Like stupid wealthy. Like not quite at Jeff Bezos level of wealth, but pretty up there.

And baby started from the bottom now he’s here, okay! The fact that Jude grew up in abject poverty then became a successful CEO of a trading company originally struck me as one of the more unrealistic things in the game (which I do not care about, he’s still daddy), but the more I looked into it, the more I got on board with it. The writers were smart to add a rich benefactor to his backstory, because in 1890s London, that was probably the only way for a poor kid from the slums to receive an education. Wealth disparity was bad in the 1890s, and people were mad about it! Jude’s hatred of the rich and powerful is in keeping with working class (and even some middle class) attitudes at the time. And with the rapid development and expansion of the Port of London (from the completion of the Royal Victoria Dock in 1855 to the Port of Tilbury in 1886), trading was the business to be in at the time. So it’s not impossible that Jude could have just lucked out in a few key ways and worked extremely hard to get to where he is (although he would still probably be considered a unicorn in this time period).

As for Raven Co.’s annual profit: who knows. I’m guessing it’s in the billions in today’s money. I’m unsure what Jude’s salary would be, he is explicitly characterized in his route as a fair boss who pays his workers a living wage, but he’s also like randomly really generous with like Ellis or Kate (i.e. giving Ellis a blank check for Xmas, giving Kate more than enough money to get a dress, etc.) so he’s probably taking home plenty. And considering how smart Jude is, he’s probably pretty savvy about saving and investing his money. He also makes a lot of deals and has a lot of involvement overseas, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he has bank accounts in several countries. The man is committed to building his rocket, okay! I’d say his annual income is in the hundred millions of dollars (in today’s money). But his net worth is probably in the billions.

Lord Elbert Greetia

Okay, now on to our first landed-gentry boy: Lord Elbert. Lord Elbert is most likely the wealthiest member of Crown in terms of generational wealth, with William coming in a close second.

Elbert is a member of the landed gentry or “peerage” and uses the title of “Lord,” which he inherited from his father. Being in this class means that he not only has significant wealth (in literal pounds and assets), but it also means that he has a rock-solid social standing and owns land. Land ownership is a big deal here because it means that Lord Elbert has the power to control anyone who might be living/working on property that he owns. And I’m not just talking servants/staff at his estate, I’m talking residents of any townships or villages on the likely acres and acres of land that he's in control of. So he has a passive income via taxing residents and laborers on his land(s)... forever! Being in this class also makes his wealth a lot more stable and immutable than say, Jude, who is a great businessman but whose income and assets are at the mercy of the market/demand.

Elbert’s character in the game is very stoic (until Kate shows up!), and he has deep trauma from his childhood home, so he doesn’t seem to exercise a ton of the privileges that would be available to him in terms of controlling the people who live on his properties. But, if we’re talking the 1890s here, he would probably have entire villages or even small towns under his economic purview. I think of him as a Mr. Darcy type, probably bringing in about £10,000 a year, or a little over £1.5 million/$2 million in today’s money. This combined with the cost of all of his assets or “beautiful things” that he compulsively collects (artwork, fine furniture, jewels, real estate, etc.) means I’d estimate his net worth to be about $70-100 million in today’s money.

Lord William Rex

I’m only putting William after Elbert because I do think Elbert has more non-cash assets, simply from the nature of his curse which causes him to be greedy. But let’s be clear: Lord William is also loaded. He, like Elbert, is a member of the peerage of the time and owns lots of land/real estate. He probably receives a pretty substantial passive income from all of his properties like Elbert.

I do think there’s one key difference between them: I have a feeling that William would either redistribute some of the income that he gets from any taxed residents/workers on his properties or lower their taxes—he just seems like the type to be about that. So that’s another reason why I think Elbert might have a higher net worth. Still, we find out that William paid for the construction of a hospital in his route, and for a man to do that in the 1890s, he’d have to be pretty freaking rich. I’d say that his net worth is probably somewhere between $50-100 million in today’s money.

Victor???

Big question mark around Victor! I’m putting him here just because he is so connected to the Queen, and unless we learn something different from his route, I’m pretty sure that means he’s at least upper class, if not a (former) member of the gentry/peerage. Or perhaps comes from a wealthier family. He also receives a salary and lodging from the Queen (as do all the members of Crown I think) so he’s certainly getting all of his needs met. He’s also the oldest member of Crown, which just makes me assume he’s had more time to accrue savings. But couldn’t tell you what his net worth is even if you held a gun to my head, this is all just vibes haha.

Liam Evans

Liam grew up comfortably upper class, basically wealthy despite not being a member of the landed gentry. His father owns an estate, or at least did when Liam was a child, and had staff and servants. Because of his mental illness and disfigurement, Liam’s father probably relied entirely on family money after a certain point.

As an adult, and considering he is a successful and popular leading actor at a major theater in London at the time, Liam is doing well for himself! He is now much better off than his father! Good riddance! Actors at the major theaters at the time were typically paid anywhere between 2-25 pounds per week, and Liam was likely on the upper end of that spectrum. Let’s say he takes home 20 pounds a week, which in today’s money would be about 3,200 pounds, or about 4,000 dollars. That’s 208,000 dollars a year before tax! Not bad at all! But, it’s worth noting, that at the time actors were definitely not seen as contributing members to society (especially women/actresses—they were essentially thrown into the same category as sex workers), so Liam’s social standing in the grand scheme of things is definitely lower as an actor than it was probably growing up in an upper-middle class house.

Ellis Twilight + Alfons Sylvatica

I’m throwing these two in here together because they are probably doing well for themselves, but only because they are attached to a super-rich person haha. Who knows what their salaries/wages are or what kind of deal they have with their respective sugar daddies (hehe) but suffice to say they don’t have to worry about money. Alfons is probably more irresponsible with his money, only because of his lifestyle, but even so he’s nowhere near as big of a spender as Elbert so it probably all ends up a wash. And I’m assuming that Jude pays Ellis pretty well because he loves him lol.

Harrison Gray

Okay, this one took some digging! Harry’s dad was a police officer, which in today’s world would mean that his family was pretty well-off and Harry had a comfortable upbringing. Not a member of the upper classes/gentry, but probably solidly middle class. This is also implied in the game, or at least Harry isn’t one of the characters that we know grew up poor.

But, it turns out, police officers weren’t paid super well in mid/late 1800s London! Harry’s dad would probably be on the better-paid side of the spectrum because he was a chief/high-ranking, but the police were a relatively new-ish phenomenon and weren’t considered “high-value” professionals. Harry’s dad likely only took home about 10 guineas a week, which in today’s money is about £1,400 or $1,700, so he was making about $88,000 a year in today’s money (before taxes). Which would be relatively comfortable for a single person today, but for a family in the 1800s would be pretty much living paycheck to paycheck with maybe a couple splurge purchases a year (like for Christmas or birthdays). So Harry’s family wasn’t anywhere near as poor as Jude or Alfons were growing up, but they likely lived quite modestly!

As an adult, Harry probably makes a healthy salary as an editor/proofreader. Publishing was booming in the 1890s, and writers were most often serialized in weekly publications, which meant a steady income for both writers and publishers. I’d say Harry is probably taking home a couple hundred pounds at the least per week, so something in the thousands of dollars in today’s terms. It’s unclear to me what the rules of living in Crown castle are. Like do they pay rent? I don’t think so? Let’s say they don’t, which means Harry gets to save/keep all his wages and only spends on personal stuff. He doesn’t seem like the biggest spender, if anything he reads as very sensible with money to me, haha. So he’s likely got a cozy little net worth building up but nothing crazy. Since wealth stratification is so extreme in this time period (the rich were very rich and the poor were very poor), Harry would probably be making enough to still be looked down on by the upper classes and enough to still be the object of contempt for the lower classes.

Poorest ? - Roger Barel

Doctors today are very well paid, but this was not the case in the late 1800s! Growing up, Roger’s dad probably had an annual salary of about 300-500 pounds a year, or roughly $45k-$80k in today’s money. Not a lot to live on for a whole family now, but this probably went further in the 1870s/80s when Roger was growing up. It’s implied that his family lived relatively comfortably, so I’m guessing that his dad had a good reputation and was sought after for his surgical expertise. He may have even gotten paid to teach in surgery ‘theatres’ of the time. (I haven’t read or looked much into Roger’s route so this might be wrong!)

I’m only ranking him last because he seems to not be formally employed haha. Since Roger is not a publicly practicing surgeon, he is relying on his income (?) and lodging from Crown for his day-to-day expenses. This could be any amount it seems, haha, depending on what he asks Victor/the Queen for. He doesn’t seem like a crazy spender, so he’s probably not complaining. I have no idea what his salary would be, though. It doesn’t seem like Crown bothers with all that, haha.

[oddballwriter]

bbq ena x introvert reader that is very open with her? Like awkward introvert reader that outwardly seems stoic but gets super silly round her cuz ena fucking rocks. Could be co worker even

DREAM BBQ ENA w/ an introvert reader who doesn’t talk to people except for her

Warnings: reader is an introvert and people keep trying to talk to them, ENA lowkey flirting with the reader sometimes

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

Don't worry about having to talk to people, ENA does enough talking for the both of you. Her salesperson sidecalls you her "demonstrator/assistant" when showing off her myriads of little products that she's trying to sell to different people or her extra pair of hands since “team work exercises help enhance productivity”. That’s her way of saying that sometimes you help her when she gets stuck on things are is having a moment and needs to get back on track.

She still tries to get you to talk sometimes though but if it fails she will just excuse you and say that “client work is not in their quota today” and occasionally her meanie side flat out calls you “poor with words and not paid for chattering”

ENA appreciates that you feel comfortable enough with her to let your true self shine through since a lot of people don’t really feel or bother to form that connection with her. So when she learns that you goofing off with her and cracking jokes is because you feel comfortable and at ease with her, she’s over the moon and stars about it.

Her salesperson side is always willing to have “partake in workplace and water cooler humor and banter” with you, which is just her freely say all her stupid and ridiculous sales pitches which are clearly scams and prism schemes that she thinks you’ll find amusing. Her meanie side also makes fun of you in a more teasing way rather than her usual insulting manner that she has with other people. If you say something really dumb she says “What’s your head full of? Spare junk? If you got paid for thinking, we’d be piss poor.” while poking your head.

It’s kind of hard for others to tell that her meanie side is just messing with you because she sounds the exact same, but you can just sense the vibe of it from her.

Her meanie said also wards off anyone who’s looking at you for too long when you’re clearly trying to to avoid interacting by calling them out with megaphone and all. “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, YOU CLAM HEAD? YOU GOT A STARING PROBLEM OR WHAT?”

Meanie is also your version of “They said ‘no pickles’!”

On the other hand, her salesperson, again, will gladly do all the “sales pitching” for the both of you and make sure that all your “work” goes appreciated by also giving you credit too for when a job is done.

“I couldn’t have done it without my faithful companion.”

“My assistant did most of the heavy lifting and being a highly profitable hand.”

She never really calls you her co-worker. Even with her meanie side she says “partner” and even “pal” or “friend”, completely removing professionalism and formally. When ENA says these, they sometimes even sound like more than just platonic too.

Her salesperson side can be a bit of a charmer, “as part of achieving higher likelihood of successfully locking in a sale”, but sometimes she puts it on for you when no one else is around or listening, like she’s willingly flirting with you. You can’t tell if she’s also just messing with you as part of your regular banter but you’d be lying if you said that she couldn’t charm you into doing something for her. She’s actually gotten quite close too. She made her idea of an mlm about t-shirts that say “little noodle” on them sound very appealing and fashionable.

Maybe she is flirting with you. You can’t really tell with how all over the place she is with her words

[dumbcrustyassbitch]

my favourite things that reneé rapp has said

(in no particular order)

• "but also, like, yes, it was fun, but it was just silly, like, we made, like, a musical of a movie that was already a musical based off of a movie, like... like, we're not out here curing cancer, we're just having fun"

• "moana"

• "i would hit on me"

• "mommy. i love her, i love you, mommy... yeah... in a respectful way"

• "ADHD! ADHD!"

• "there's a dress code... okay, and i didn't wanna adhere... to the fucking dress code... because i don't wanna wear a collared shirt if i'm told to"

• "i'm reneé rapp and i'm ruining my own life"

• "serious question... serious fucking question... do you- do you ever just kinda like look at your nipp- like, feel- like, feel your nipple... and you're just like... you're so cute!"

• "it is with a... heavy heart that i announce that this ass is in fact... still fat"

• "also, disclaimer, screw your diet culture, i'm enjoying my time with my fridge, thank you"

• "actually best ass i've ever seen in my life"

• "men should die🤗"

• "i should be sedated from time to time"

• "i feel... um... fucked"

• "today, i'm not thriving, i'm surviving, but maybe tomorrow... we'll be thriving?"

• "there's a baby... there's a baby, there's a baby, there's a baby... i'm gonna steal it"

• "i love margot robbie, so that movie is gay to me... in a way... cuz she's so cute in that movie... ah!"

• "there's no real way to, like, act or, like, look queer or gay, however, i was acting and looking gay"

• "i mean, i'd like to say thank you to all of my exes, like, i've profited heavily off of that and i really appreciate it... and a huge thank you to every man that helped made me realise that i was a lesbian"

• "harry... come out"

• "'can i be your next chair' what does that mean? ..... 😳"

• "jokes on you, skank, i don't run, it hurts my fucking knees"

• "mommy's tired, like... take mommy home"

• "um, delusion?"

• "any notes for her? ... date me?"

• "because i was like, motherfucker, one thing you're not gonna do is take away my pride"

• "yeah, a lot of people were, um, upset... and i... enjoyed it"

• "if the shoe fits... lace that bitch up and... run"

• "be mad. go home. touch grass. play in traffic."

• "leave him. quickly. with a swiftness"

• "just for a little clarification, i didn't bring that bag of apples... it was just there"

• "one could yap and one could strap"

reblog with your favourites !!

[merakiui]

Do you think Jamil would use his um to hypnotize darling into being his dorm’s fuckhole? Or a fuckhole between him and octrio cuz I do love gangbangs with guys that have a super slimy side. Maybe someone is recording the gangbang for jack off material that might also be used as blackmail material if needed?! Or maybe it gets you stuck in a contract as their sex doll before it escalates to cam girl to bring in some profit or maybe doing some exclusive live late night shows at the lounge hnnnnng. I’m sorry it’s just that gangbanging has been doing a number on my brain and I’m ready to combust

OOOOO omg yes absolutely!!! WAIT,,, Jamil doing that out of hate..... just pure dislike for you, and it scratches some sadistic part inside him to see how you come undone with the help of his hypnosis. Hypnotizing you to be Scarabia's silly cock-slut...... just a dumb hole for everyone to fuck into,,, free use...... in my mind Jamil wants nothing to do with those fish, but if he somehow owed some sort of debt to them or if Azul was on his tail about how grateful Jamil ought to be for their help during the events of book four..... maybe he would be inclined to do it but only once and then that's that; debt paid!!! orz whatever happens to you after that when you're in the arms of the fish is your responsibility. >:)

The ideal and underrated combination would be Ruggie and Jamil. One slimy guy who can turn your mind to mush and all he needs to do is have you look into his eyes so he can utter the spell, and another slimy guy who can take complete control of your every move..... the potential!!!! Their cooperation in Glomas was so scrumptious..... Jamil hypnotizing you while Ruggie's making you spread yourself open for both of them...... the two of them exchanging looks and trying to see who is the most devious between the two of them, but clearly they're both enjoying it because Jamil is smirking and Ruggie won't stop snickering..... </3 terrible men......

But back to Scarabia!!! I love the idea of Kalim wanting to repay Octavinelle for all of their help (much to Jamil's dismay), so what better way to do that than throw a big celebration!!! :D and those slimy fish certainly aren't going to object. The dorm doesn't even need to get you drunk when you're hypnotized and maybe Kalim doesn't even realize that's what happened because he's too busy having fun and forcing more food and drink your way..... orz and because Scarabia is so thoughtful and has the foresight for these things...... one way or another, you're being spread out on the luxurious carpets in Scarabia lounge and someone's passing around condoms and lube and toys and the whole thing quickly becomes all about sex because you're so cock-drunk.

Hehe thinking about Jamil who doesn't partake at all, merely watching from the sidelines as you're plowed raw by some of the students, as they move your hands towards their waiting dicks, as you choke on cock and get covered in cum, as Jade and Floyd sink their teeth into your shoulders and neck while fucking you at the same time, etc etc. I think Jamil would get the most pleasure from the moments after, when the party has settled down and you come to from the hypnosis and you're left with this gaping emptiness inside you as you realize you were just used by so many guys, some of whom you thought were your friends. Why would you have sex with so many guys? That's not like you at all!!! >_< waaa the panic...

And Jamil who smiles and will play at being your friend when in reality he could care less. AAAAA HE'S MEAN....... I love Jamil who gets sick satisfaction from having you depend on and trust in him.... as if he isn't the cause for your misery.

[elodieunderglass]

It's not really my business, but honestly it feels like it would be advisable to hire a copyright lawyer. Like I don't feel like you're in it for the money, but it might be gratifying to have the guy milking your idea at least have to formally acknowledge you. I think I'd do it just for the peace of mind to know if I've been "legally" wronged or not. Either way, hope you continue to inspire, and live out a peaceful life.

(In reference to this post about the guy who pretends to have invented “Elder Teletubbies,” specifically how he is now kickstarting DnD minis of them.)

Ha, well, it’s all a little tricky I think. I might, hilariously, post on the r/legaladvice Reddit (even though they’re all cops lol) because the only thing I want here is for him to stop selling my “transformative work,” and ideally to stop pretending he invented it (which might be difficult as he appears to fully believe his work is creatively independent.)

I think if anything, my post counts as protected commentary or a transformative work of BBC’s Teletubbies, and I think it’s stinky to profit on that stuff in general (like I’m 190% okay with buying LotR fanart on stickers ! but I wouldn’t dream of trying to publish a fic with the serial numbers filed off. Why?)

I think ultimately I’m not a grifter, I’m a grownup, and I think it’s several levels of eye roll to sell fanart of a tv show on this level. I would be embarrassed to touch money made on that. I’m too fucking scrupulous and artisanal. I have toyed with a silly original novel for funsies since 2019 but keep saying things like, “oh, people will think this is too similar to something else that already exists” as if a silly original novel I write for fun has to somehow pass a Bar of Originality higher than anything salary-writers aim for.

I’m also pretty anti-intellectual-property myself in that leftist sense where I don’t believe people should be acting as if creative works are, like, oil. Like the resource extraction angle of intellectual property freaks me out, I don’t think getting super high-horse and snotty about Magical Brain Property is entirely compatible with the artisanal temperament I personally got going on here. I am like snufkin about this, simply smoking a pipe and making a flower crown saying “poor fools! Producing works for market, and serving as the guard dogs of the market, lest their work lose value if it becomes more common!” I do not have a high horse. I am not going to post 6900 words about the importance of defending fucking… Mickey Mouse. I buy those lotr stickers on Etsy! I do have a horse, but it’s a pretty low horse.

If it was his own work I would not care about this guy doing this in the least (apart from loftily calling it stinky - but hey, nerds are common and nerds are stinky, it’s not rare) IF he wasn’t STEALING FROM MY ANTI-COMMERCIALISATION DREAM TO DO IT.

That’s the bit that PISSES ME OFF too much to ignore: that and accepting compliments for being original like 😌 yes my twisted mind did this idk lol.

Like if you asked him point blank about the artistic choices he’d be like idk my twisted mind just sees the Teletubbies this way teehee! but if you ask ME why, for example, the adult Teletubbies live in the forest I’ll explain that in 2017 I was at a major life crossroads and this dream was ABOUT that. It was goodbye to my identity as a foreigner from the pine forests, and full steam ahead to settling permanently in the fucking shire (where the baby teletubbies on the bbc show live). It was about going back to work having had my first child, and saying goodbye to my various career dreams for myself (famous scientist! Published author!) as I chose instead, finally, the responsibility of working humbly as a public servant for the actual good of society. It is about witnessing the wild and saying “I am not of it, but it is my job to be its witness and voice.” That’s why the adult Teletubbies are dancing in my native forests while I’m watching them from the English hills. This guy doesn’t know that he just vaguely heard “spooky forest cryptid” and didn’t develop it at all, I do more work than that with FANFICTION in my time off!!!

So it’s really about nebulous stuff and ethics and not something worth paying a lawyer for I think!

But thank you so much for this, I think the thing that gets most perennial about it is the TOTAL GASLIGHTING of the “outside world” of the rest of the internet like, fully believing they invented this, and they DIDNT. They’re so wrong on the internet and they don’t know

[bleedingoptimism]

Steve only agreed to go out with Tommy after their parents set them up because he “owed” his dad for ruining a potential business partnership for him at a dinner party.

To the rest of the guests, the man had just tripped and embarrassed himself but he knew and Steve knew and Steve’s dad knew: Steve had tripped him. But the guy had groped his ass when he crossed him on his way to the bathroom. He had it coming.

And even if his father had agreed with him after Steve told him the truth, he still needed help landing another client since his most profitable opportunity turned out to be a big ol’ creep. A date with another client’s son. Young, rich, good-looking, a single dad. It didn’t sound that bad.

And so Steve met Tommy. 

At first, Tommy was… good. He was charming, cute, a praiser and a joker but the more Steve got to know the less he liked. After a while the compliments stopped and the commanding requests began. Get me this, pick this up, cook me, blow me, dress me, feed me, drive me, me, me, me.

But if Steve wanted or needed something? Tommy was sooo tired and busy. He hadn’t even made an effort to meet Steve’s friends yet. Plus he was always making Steve feel dumb and unimportant, saying his job was silly, even if Steve made almost as much money as him with fewer hours.

Telling him not to ‘worry his pretty head about it’ when Steve asked for clarifications or wouldn’t talk to him about work because Steve ‘wouldn’t get it’. He talked down on Steve all the time and offered him money to “buy himself something nice” in a degrading manner as if Steve was nothing more than arm candy for him.

The worst part was when he realized Tommy… wasn't funny. At all. All his jokes were based on making fun of other people. And he was the only one who laughed at them. He was no better than a bully. He… kind of sucked.

And Steve would’ve loved to never have to see him again. But the problem was he had fallen in love with Tommy’s daughter, Tarja. Because Tommy might have been a terrible boyfriend but at least he was a good enough father. So the weeks Tommy got Tarja, Steve spent most of his time with her. 

She was just a delight. Cute, smart, and actually funny. She had the most deadpan sarcastic humor a 6-year-old could manage and it cracked him up. She was also super creative and loved drawing, reading, bedtime tales, and coming up with stories of her own.

Her emotional maturity was impressive, better than her father’s actually, and one of Steve’s favorite things about her. He’d never forget the day he went to pick her up from school and she’d been upset. When Steve asked her how he could help she had calmly explained what had happened, how it made her feel, and what she could do about it… over ice cream, obviously. It made him wonder what kind of person her other dad was like because she had clearly not learned how to communicate like that from Tommy.

And the thing is, Steve had always wanted a kid, ever since he was young all he wanted was a family and even if Tommy wasn’t great he just couldn’t make himself leave the connection he felt with Tarja. And he couldn’t just come out to Tommy and say: ‘Hey I wanna break up, but I’d love to keep seeing your kid,’ that would land him at best a punch, at worst in jail.

There was also the fact that, no matter how much he tried to deflect, Tommy’s comments were starting to get to him. Maybe Tommy was as good as he’d get, maybe he was dumb and uninteresting and the only thing he had going for him was his looks, maybe this was his only chance for a family. So he stuck it out. Cherished the times when they were all together.

And then he met Eddie.

👈previous part

👉 next part

☕🥐💕?

[please-read-the-manga]

Head's up: this post is me looking way too deeply into this random card game they introduced in Boruto (it's been forever since I've caught up with it and I'm starting from the beginning, RIP my sanity) and in general there's a bit of serious and a lot of silly going on in the analysis here... I find this concept so strange lmao so this is a little forewarning that's all.

Sorry, just been busy thinking about how dystopian it is that by the Boruto timeline there is a popular ninja trading card game all the kids are obsessed with that treats shinobi (many of whom were abused, traumatized child soldiers who have experienced incomprehensible trauma) as fun little collectibles.

For our world that's one thing (referring to the merchandizing we see of the manga/show itself); Naruto is obviously a story, it's a highly marketable IP, etc... but the implications of this being acceptable and even celebrated in their world is just so wild to me.

Also, it raises so many questions.

Do ninja get paid for the use of their likeness? How are they compensated?

Like did Hinata pose for this 'unique' card that obviously falls outside of the norm for collectability purposes? Or are the likenesses/names of the shinobi in the 'Extreme Ninja Scrolls' (ENS) TCG being used without permission? Who profits from this? The Daimyo? Jiraiya and Minato are also shown having cards... so who approved those since they're both deceased? Is there a Namikaze estate (for example) that had to legally allow Minato's image to be profited off of?

They even have cards of the OGs as 12-year-old genin. So is the Konoha government approving these since everyone pictured here was as an employee of the state and these appear to be regulation photos?

And you know what? We KNOW they didn't have this shit in the OG era because, back in the day, the whole team was impressed as hell at Kabuto's legendary ninja info cards! Who could forget these bad boys?

Now I guess we have to ask, though, is this not a massive security risk?

To have your nation's shinobi and their backgrounds, techniques, etc. shared so freely on cards you can pick up at any ninja 7/Eleven?

Anyone can purchase one of these card packs. We know it's not exclusive to Konoha too - while most of the cards have the Leaf Village symbol stamped in the corner, Orochimaru's represents the Sound Village.

Actually, hol' up. Orochimaru's inclusion is WILD.

"The legendary three ninja" (ie. a nod to him being one of the Legendary Sannin), but this man killed hundreds of thousands (we don't even know the totals) in untold unethical science experiments. He enslaved and tortured children, ruined countless lives and imprisoned them in hideouts that seemingly existed everywhere, and he packed up the Third Hokage (ngl that was a hero move).

And you're going to tell me that guy gets his own 'super rare' trading card? There are survivors of Orochimaru's cruelty still walking around in this timeline and they have to look at his face plastered and advertised everywhere as a rare card pull in a children's game?

So, if we can safely assume that (with Orochimaru's inclusion) internationally wanted criminals are not off the table for this game, does that mean the Akatsuki have their own cards as well? Like little kids are really out there trying to see which terrorist they can add to their collection? By Boruto-era, the truth of the Uchiha Clan Massacre is still swept under the rug by state leaders like Kakashi and Naruto (+the Elders), so Itachi's card could be in circulation under his Akatsuki identity. How does this shift/color the views of generations of children who come across all these cards potentially bearing the 'Uchiha' last name, especially since they're only ever taught a white-washed, sanitized, state-approved history?

This is pure speculation, but I wonder who gets left out of this game too. Is there an Obito card? A Madara one? They were the enemy faces of the 'last' great war, but one was also a founder of the Leaf Village (and it's implied all the Hokage all have cards - so historical figures are fair game), the other was a student of Minato's (which could, theoretically be included on the background summary of the card, we don't really know what's included there).

The kids in Boruto joke about Shino's card being viewed as a 'trash' pull (and tbf to the manga I did laugh when I saw the comic they made of that concept)... but really, how disrespectful is that? Imagine devoting your life to practicing shinobi techniques so you can serve/protect the state (as many of them tell themselves) only for little kids to joke about how undervalued and lame your card is? Imagine seeing the card of a beloved comrade you lost in a desperate battle, now being sold for pennies online as 'useless' since no one cares or remembers their name like you do.

Also, Sasuke apparently has a card and I can't for the life of me see him granting approval for his likeness to be used so callously, which lends further credence to my idea that these are either utilized by the state without the permission of their soldiers to add more prestige to the shinobi lifestyle (and potentially net more revenue for the state from children who will grow up to revere these figures/hope to cultivate new ones that will aid their financial interests/goals) or serve as a complete corporate cash-grab designed by some trashy company not even involved in the real business of shinobi but smelling a profit-to-be-made.

Yeah, idk, I really, really dislike Boruto as a concept and story... but I cannot deny it is giving me so much to think about lol.

How would it feel to suffer both physically and emotionally your entire life as you serve as a weapon of the state, just for kids to now argue over your card's value (or lack thereof)? How would it feel to see a shinobi who slew your partner or child in battle during one of the ninja wars (Minato, Jiraiya, Kakashi - they've all got blood from different villages on their hands) now lauded as these ultimate, pure heroes that kids everywhere can and should idolize?

Imagine Madara being handed a holographic card of Izuna and learning that it is valued low for whatever arbitrary reason? Or Kurenai seeing kids trade Asuma's card away for a better one? Does the game gloss over figures like Fugaku, a victim of state-sanctioned genocide, or Rin, a child soldier who died a child? Like these are real people (in-universe), with real and painful stories.

Side note: That's why I think the Zabuza arc is so critical to Naruto because it disrupts the initial 'fun' of this world (one that from the outside boasts cool magic powers and talking animals) and reminds the reader that these are children who are taught and expected to kill or be killed.

The shinobi included in this game have been indoctrinated to build their prestige off of being 'good' little contract killers, violent war-machines, and empty vessels that can line the pockets of feudal investors... and now they're being commodified again and sold to children as aspirational figures.

Something, something... late-stage capitalism Konoha and the further commodification of child soldiers/truly using and viewing shinobi as monetized tools in not just the previously understood sense of arbiters of state violence, but as literal objects of entertainment for children in a way that promotes the status quo of glorifying war-mongering and violent espionage all to support the business interests of corrupt feudal lords?

I have nothing to add here, this panel was just from the same chapters and the absurdity of it made me laugh so I wanted to include it lol. WTF is this?

[asexualbookbird]

It sure has been a Year huh. Ups and downs this month, as life happens. Saw friends I haven't seen in years, went into the city and met new friends, tried new foods, saw some birds, tried new crafts, read new books.

The Fireborne Blade by Charlotte Bond ⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Hm! Interesting! Didn't hate it, but something feels missing? Almost like it could've benefited from being at the very least a short novel. It needed more. I also have qualms at this being pitched as sapphic when there is no romance at all and the main character talks a lot about being betrayed by her last romance with a man. One mention of Woman With Hot Thighs. Not mad I read it, might even read it again.

That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon by Kimberly Lemming ⭐️⭐️ ‐ I'll be honest, one star is Mean but I had a lot more fun reading Fourth Wing and that was two stars. The tone is what dragged this one down for me. It reads like YA, but it's very much not. I do not believe for a second the MC is 24, she doesn't act like it at all. The sex scenes. Are there. I could make an entire post about the book ending on them having penetrative PiV sex. Part of my grievances are me not liking the genre, but I truly think this just isn't that good. Plenty of people on the internet write better more filthy works for free. Why was this sitting unassumingly on the library shelf.

*amended to two stars if this is indeed satire

The Dead Cat Tail Assassins by P Djèlí Clark ⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Fine. Not much to say because it was Completely Average. Not mad I read it, but don't wish to repeat the experience. I think maybe Clark isn't an author for me, as I recall feeling similarly about A Master of Djinn. It's not so much that the characters or world feel flat, but something definitely feels missing. It was silly and lighthearted and gory and I did like that though!

The Spellshop by Sarah Beth Durst ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Another hit from Sarah Beth Durst. I see your Themes. I see your Tropes. Kindness. Found family. Accepting help. All personal attacks on me. Adorable, fun, some sort of cross between T Kingfisher and Becky Chambers, I didn't want it to end, and now have a name for my spider plant. It also seems like I need to get my spider plant a friend.

The Woods All Black by Lee Mandelo ⭐️⭐️ - I have very mixed feelings about this that are really summarized as This Wasn't For Me. I like the idea that yeah you're a monster but someone loves you anyway. I like using the monster to punish those who called you one. I think there's some very specific midwestern religious trauma that I'm missing to really Get It, though. On top of that, while I recognize the themes and significance in the age gap, a 30 year old going after an 18 year old icks me out. I'd still recommend it with very very heavy reservations.

The Spare Man by Mary Robinette Kowal ⭐⭐ - Going to be honest, I just finished this and I'm already moving on. The writing was fine and I'm not put off of the author entirely, but I never felt wowed. I was annoyed more than anything. I didn't love any of the characters, but I didn't really hate anyone either. The amount of people Tesla let pet her service dog drove me nuts. The ending felt slapped together. It never really felt cohesive. I feel vindicated reading that fans of her other books also were unimpressed with this. I wouldn't steer people away from it, but I didn't have a lot of fun.

I'm tentatively excited for February. I have art ideas I'd like to get started on, I am working on a craft thing that I might be able to profit a bit off of, I'm flat out ignoring the world, book club is approaching. I'm looking for good things in the world, and I will find them. That is a threat.

[billpottsismygf]

Doctor Who: The Interstellar Song Contest

Another really strong episode! I just adore Belinda more and more, especially seeing her get so excited about watching the contest and reminiscing about her childhood watching it. It was pretty silly and fun to have Rylan cryogenically frozen and Graham Norton as a hologram. I also hadn't realised until I tuned in to the broadcast and saw the trailer right before the episode started that the actual Eurovision finale is tonight. This whole series has clearly been planned meticulously with regards to the dates that it's airing, especially given the 24th of May deadline.

Okay, I have to deal with this first because !!!!!! SUSAN!!!! I've been saying for YEARS that Carole Ann Ford needs to come back, and there was so much teasing of it last series that I'm just overjoyed to see her again! I got a little worried that it would turn out to be Mrs Flood who was Susan, but thank god no. I wonder if Susan will be involved in the finale or if she's being set up for something beyond. God, I'm just so overjoyed to see her in the show again!

I've already mentioned Mrs Flood, but that's fun. After all of these years of people speculating that various characters are The Rani, one of them finally is! I guess it's time to check out her episodes, of which there seem to be three different serials. I'm kind of glad to get a bigeneration this time because I do really enjoy Anita Dobson, but it's interesting to see that she is seemingly subordinate to the new incarnation. I don't have much to base this new actress' performance on yet, but she seems fun in a villainous way! Also, a much more dignified split of clothing this time. The Doctor should take notes.

I really liked how dark the Doctor got this episode. Ncuti Gatwa said in an interview a little while ago that we'd see a different side to the fifteenth Doctor, and we sure have. I didn't think much of the line about him having ice in his heart initially, but him repeating that and saying it's still in there is interesting. Will we see a darker version of Fifteen going forward? I really loved Ncuti's performance throughout this, even if it was quite difficult watching a violent and vengeful Doctor as he dispassionately electrocuted Kid over and over again. That speech he gave over the video call was also very well performed, as was Belinda's "that's not him" response.

On that, I wish we'd had a little bit more from her about this whole aspect. She is horrified to find him hurting Kid and gets him to stop, then immediately hugs him. I was pleased she told him that he scared her, but I feel that the Belinda we've got to know over these past weeks would have a little more than that to say, including in the moment. I was also a little confused by Mike and Gary (who I really enjoyed as characters, by the way) clearly being terrified of him after his grandstanding speech (eg. Gary saying "oh thank god" after the Doctor says he likes him) and then pretty quickly moving on to being infatuated with him ("I'd do anything for you").

With regards to the Doctor's violent outburst, I'm also interested to hear him say that he was triggered because his species was wiped out in an instant, because is that still true? It was during RTD1, but since that got retconned and then Chibnall destroyed Gallifrey again, I don't think we ever got clarity on exactly the method the Master used to wipe out the Time Lords. I don't remember getting the impression that it was instant, but maybe that will be expanded on given the Susan appearance.

Onto the general plot, I like the angle of this corporation that destroyed a world for profit and puts about propaganda that the Hellions "did it to themselves", as well as silencing their voices. It is perhaps a little simplistic that Cora is able to sing a song and we get to feel that everything is now good because the galaxy is listening to a suppressed song, but so much is still left undealt with. Will the corporation still sponsor the contest? Isn't the contest complicit in taking that sponsorship and banning Hellians from participating in the first place? Still, I loved Cora as a character and her song did in fact make me cry, so there's that. Given how much else the episode was doing, there wasn't really time to go deep into the Hellians and their planet, but I would love to get a further exploration of it down the line, as with Planet of the Ood following up on the undealt with elements of The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit.

Still, an overall really good episode in an overall really good series. I'm looking forward to the finale! It may well be a disaster, as with last series, but I have hope. I'm sad we only have those two episodes (one story) remaining, but given the limited episode count I am pleasantly surprised with how well I'm gelling with this series. Fingers crossed for next week!

Little things:

I adored Mike calling the Doctor an "amazing little creature" while nursing him back to health. The Doctor really is just a weird little guy and we should acknowledge this more often.

Nice throwback to the delta wave! I think this is the first mention of one in twenty years, so that's fun.

Ah, mavity. You are so silly.

[lostcatinthedark]

ARMYs trying to defend people reading fan fics over addressing the fact that JM is getting death threats from their own breed is crazy.

“It’s part of the culture.”

“Everyone has done it at some point.”

“Stop ruining other’s people fun.”

These are some tweets in verbatim. Don’t they see how shipping culture made the fandom so toxic that two members of the same group cannot interact with each other without getting violent reactions? It’s pretty obvious that most big ARMY accounts are shippers, based on how silent they are whenever JM gets hate or threats from TKKRs. I mean, who would want to call out their own breed?

I just hate how ARMYs act so holier-than-thou and superior over solos, when in the same breath would absolutely drop another member for their ship. Are you really here for the music and artistry or for the visuals and projecting yourself in these fan fictions?

At what point will someone else’s fun become someone’s demise? Especially when we’ve seen time and time again how ARMYs are unable to separate a character from the actual person, when they flooded JM’s twitter post over some lame twitter AU. What happens when someone becomes overly deluded with their beliefs and does something that could lead to violence?

How can they tolerate that fact that the person they claim to love and swore to protect is getting death threats for the sake of reading fics about two other members banging on the low?

This is bordering mental illness.

It's crazy... sometimes I even wonder if they are fans of the music at all? There's a big portion of the fandom who are shippers, and I really don't know but it seems like most of them are taekook shippers. Either way, shipping people in real life is weird, reading fanfictions about people in real life is weird. Because these aren't just silly au stories where Jimin is an astronaut! or whatever, a lot of these are highly graphic and almost pornographic stories about members being a couple, where on top of that Jimin gets dehumanized in so many ways. Same with the shipper artists. It's weird, it's actually quite sick if you think about it. It can get dangerous even with fictional characters, I'm an anime fan and when I tell you several mangakas have been harassed for not adding a ship as endgame IN THEIR OWN STORIES, now imagine doing it with real human beings. Truly mental illness.

However I just don't know what could be done about this, because look at larries in the 1D fandom still somehow believing that Louis' son was a fake prop to hide his closeted relationship with his bandmate. I don't know if this has and end, especially because it's kpop and this entire industry profits from ships so...

Anyways I want Jimin to have a fandom that appreciates him for his artistry, for his personality, for his values. I've genuinely lost hope with most armys, so what's left for us is to be loud and make sure our space it's curated with what's important. Let's make our own community so whoever wants to join doesn't get indoctrinated in that shipper mentality. And also Jimin and his family are aware of these things, I know it's worrying but if there is something that needs to be done for his and his loved ones' security, I'm sure he will take care of it and if he hasn't yet, this might push him to.

[deconstructivesurgery]

Been thinking a lot about Borderlands 3 and Rhys lately and since I've seen people posting a lot about the things they dislike about the way Borderlands 3 handled... literally everything, from previous games' characters to their strange and sudden insistent belief that "some of the megacorporations that make weapons to profit off of the galaxy being unsafe and constantly engage in inter-corporate war to steal things from each other are good actually" I thought I'd add a few of my own thoughts into the ring, this time specifically about Rhys- one of the characters who I found to be both dumbed down in 3 (although to a lesser extent than characters like Vaughn, who was pretty much just reduced to a bit character.) Cut because this is gonna be a long one, folks.

I think something interesting is the fact that Borderlands 3 really took away some of the snide, prideful behaviour Rhys had in the original Tales, kinda stripping him of some of his less "cutesy" personality flaws while giving him new ones he didn't necessarily have before- like accidentally making him seem incredibly shallow in quests like Space Laser Tag- where he's mainly concerned about trivial things like his favourite spots being destroyed while the company he fought to rebuild for the past SEVEN years is also being crushed. This is largely because instead of portraying him as the flawed but OVERALL currently well-intentioned (to some degree) character he is, they wanted him to be little more than an "adorkable" goofy type of character- and acknowledging his past of scheming ambition and potential to be incredibly dismissive of others doesn't fit that.

The thing *I* personally like the most about my perception of Rhys as a character is the dissonance between his character arc and his actions beyond the original Tales. I think it's important to spearhead this conversation with the fact that I don't like buying into the idea of Rhys being possessed by Handsome Jack post-TFTBL, trying to bring him back, or even still being in possession of his infected ECHOeye. Whether he sided with him for the majority of the original Tales or not, I prefer believing that the canon ending to the game inevitably resulted in Rhys finally discarding his idolization of Jack and resolving to veer his own life away from following in Jack's footsteps and towards creating his own ideal future with Atlas.

Does that immediately make him a morally perfect wonderful guy who's not still questionable by sheer virtue of INSISTING on making a return to the very corporate hellscape that pushed him to do everything from get unnecessary body modifications (still forever thinking about the fact that he did NOT lose that arm, my man had it purposefully removed for the sake of career success). No. The FUN part of it all is that Rhys is simultaneously right- he isn't like Jack, and I really don't like that the new Tales really switched up his behaviour to resemble his more- and wrong. Because at the end of the day, he's now still the CEO of a large-scale weapons manufacturer taking advantage of the unrest between planets and corporations just like every other big corp.

I think more than anything, I like Rhys best when he's a well-intentioned person (with glaring character flaws like a persistent love for the corporate life and lingering ambitions) who genuinely cares about Atlas and believes that it's the key to bettering the world he lives in- while simultaneously only REALLY managing to be, at most, a lesser evil. Someone snarky and occasionally snide, who's lightened up into the more affable, comfortable, almost silly persona we see in 3- but not missing the flaws that were definitive of his character in the past, either.

I wish we'd seen him have a stronger reaction to Katagawa Jr. and the possibility of losing Atlas, instead of the played-up-for-laughs kind of upset he displayed over things like a donut shop vs. the literal potential destruction of the company he scavenged out of a bad situation and brought back from the grave. I wanted to see him take it more PERSONALLY. To me, Atlas is in part Rhys trying to prove to HIMSELF that he doesn't need to be like Jack. It's proof and reassurance that when he tries to tell himself he's better, he's right. It's freedom from the corporate rat race he used to live in, because *he*'s in charge of it now, and he's running it with a lighter hand. To me, it's his own (flawed, yes, but I should've made that clear already) attempt to spit on everything Hyperion represented as a corporate environment.

If I'd had my way with it, honestly, I would've played a bit of a more emotional angle with the ideas Borderlands 3 lays out for you. I really love Katagawa Jr. for a lot of reasons, but one of them is the fact that he's a character that really echoes a lot of Rhys' own (past and present) character traits right back at him, and I think that should've been emphasized more. I wanted it to hurt more! Let Rhys look dead in the eyes someone who is, in many ways, eerily similar to himself- opportunistic power-grabbing and all- and realize that he's going to have to have him killed to protect what he's built for himself. I wanted him to realize that this was the only way things were ever going to turn out- because there's no happy ending when you go corporate in the Borderlands universe. It's going to be backstabbing, conflict with other manufacturers, and destruction all the way down.

Anyways I have a *lot* more to say than this (autism does that to a motherfucker)- but I see a lot of discourse? Discussion? Who knows- anyways. I see it a lot regarding Rhys, and I think my take is essentially, TLDR:

He doesn't need to be the pinnacle of evil, a new clone of Handsome Jack or someone stepping into his footsteps, just another heartless corporate fuck who underwent no character development whatsoever and is just as bad as Maliwan, or Tediore, or anyone else. He also shouldn't be reduced to "the good one". I know that Borderlands 3 itself is for the most part completely allergic to nuance, especially in character writing, but I think it's fascinating to play with the idea of a character who is trying to do their best to BE "the good one" and succeeding to some degree- while still failing to break the status quo in a way that matters. He also doesn't need to be entirely a goofy piece of shit that's obsessed with action figures, OR a conniving, snide asshole who's way too overconfident sometimes. He could've and should've been a bit of both, y'know?

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. If you read all this, you have my commendation.