#and also b) i wanted to give that anon a chance to reply re: what they alleged about kinktober since someone else dm'd me

[pynkhues]

Hiya Sophie! Sorry if you’ve posted about this recently, but do you by any chance have an update on the reunion fic? I can’t wait to read it 🥰

Hey! Thank you! I've been trying to post it the last few days but keep getting derailed (COVID! Gearing up for my sister's week in divorce court which I'm a witness for and starts on Monday! Balancing Zoom meetings I'd forgotten about! RL drama!) but it's on my non-negotiable list to post today. I'm travelling interstate tomorrow for said court, so am trying to get a lot of stuff done, but it's definitely one of them, especially as it is finished, I just always want to do a final read through before I hit post, haha. It's like 22k words long, so hopefully that's exciting to people. :-)

[holykillercake]

Coin Stealer

Trafalgar Law x psychic!Reader

word count: 3.3k

summary: Law does not believe that you can see dead people, so you crochet him the strange-looking beanie of the strange-looking man that walks around the Polar Tang. 

highlight: ¨I´ll give a chance to the uniform, and I´ll only address you as Captain when you behave as Captain.¨

warning: You are entering Trafalgar´s room. 

notes: Bello, ma people! This is the 3/3 part of a lovely anon request in which the s/o makes them a thing with crochet! This time is Dr. Heart Stealer edition!! I really enjoyed writing this, and it got a little long, but I did not want to cut off important things. Anyway, I hope you like it!

𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞!

¨Hey, Bepo! Have you seen Law?¨

¨Y/N! I don´t know where he is... I´m sorry.¨

¨Oh, it´s ok!¨ you patted the mink´s shoulder, giving him a warm smile. 

You were never a big fan of his constant apologetic personality, but you couldn´t deny that you missed it during your time apart from the crew. 

The Heart Pirates had parted ways a long time ago when your Captain decided that the time to put his life-long plan in action had finally come. The crew split into three parts, and each one followed a different path. 

After the sudden disappearance of the Strawhats, the Paramount War, the Rocky Port Incident, and Law obtaining his title as a Warlord of the Sea, you were the first to depart, remaining in Sabaody Archipelago, waiting for the owners of the Thousand Sunny to return. You fought alongside a fishman called Hacchin, a weird guy that reminded you of Black Leg and other allies to protect the ship. 

Next to leave was Law, who sailed to Punk Hazard, where he formed a partnership with a crazy scientist bastard. Then the rest of the crew went on their own towards the island where you would meet once the plan was concluded.

The trajectory was not smooth by any means, but you did it, all of you. And now you feasted along with the Strawhats, celebrating whatever it was that you did not understand. Maybe they were like that, or maybe they didn't understand the risks you would take from now on. 

Anyway, the crew seemed to be in need of some music and fun, and you were too busy looking for your Captain to care about that.

In the midst of the evening breeze, the crackling of the fire, and the barrels of beer crashing in celebration, you saw the answer you were looking for.

Of course.

¨If I didn´t love you...¨ you growled as you made your way out of the island to reach the Polar Tang. And let´s face it, that was a detour.

You went straight to your room, where Law would probably be sipping coffee, napping, or just running from the crowds. And just like you, it has been months since he stepped on his own ship and slept in his own bed. 

So maybe you could cut him some slack. 

However, as you approached the room, there was no smell of coffee. No smell of coffee and no light snoring. Just a stillness carried with heavy emotions and your boyfriend, sitting in the dim light holding tight the crochet piece you gave him years ago. You swayed in place, expecting that thing you made to provoke him to be at the sea bottom.

¨Wondering why I kept this?¨ he asked. 

¨Not really.¨ you replied. ¨But I am surprised. Am I disturbing?¨

¨You never do.¨

You jumped on the bed, sitting beside him and resting your head on his shoulder.

¨YN-ya... do you know how he...¨ the question struggled to come out.

¨Peaceful.¨ 

¨Hm.¨ he nodded.

¨I don´t like when he smiles, though. It creeps me out.¨ His body bounced slightly as he joined you in a chuckle. 

¨Remember when you gave me this?¨

¨Of course, you almost kicked me out of the ship!¨ you giggled with the memory.

¨You were really annoying back then.¨

¨Hey! Objection!¨

¨Objection rebuffed.¨ he smirked and moved on the bed, pulling you to lay down on his chest.

You told him to shut up before cuddling in, not falling asleep immediately. None of you said much. Instead, you enjoyed the calming and comfortable silence of each other´s company. 

It has been a while since you had that. 

You remember every moment of your early days as a Heart Pirate. You and Law hadn´t started on the best terms, but he needed you - well, your skills - and you were given a good deal. 

The pivot of your history together began on a chain of coincidences. The first one being both of you docking on the same island. The second one was him finding a rare coin for his collection, the same one you would later slip into your pocket. 

You wandered around towns using the beautiful art of distraction to get anything you wanted from anyone. Watches, necklaces, wallets, and, well, coins? It was all he had in his pocket, and since it was a cute one, you decided to keep it. 

Some called you a thief. Some called you a burglar, and some may even have called you a big son of a bitch. But the thing they all had in common was that none of them knew exactly who they were calling those names. 

The thing is, you messed up the first rule and made eye contact with him. Well, it was more of you not being able to take your eyes off of him. He stood out in the crowd, and you had gotten cocky. So when he later found out about the missing coin, it did not take him long to connect you to it. 

A lot of things went through his mind. He felt frustrated because his Haki failed him, annoyed for the trouble he would have going after you, and intrigued by the touch so light he did not feel at all. 

Or that is what he kept telling himself. 

Yes, he was interested in someone with skills like yours, but maybe there was something else he would not admit. The way you looked at him as if you had deciphered his entire life and found the missing pieces of his puzzle. Even the ones he tried to hide. 

That night he went out for your head. Or better, your heart, literally. 

You were enjoying the comfort of your hotel room, eating some snacks, and playing with your new commemorative coin when he materialized himself by the bed. You instantly knew something was about to go down.

Oh, fuck.

That situation got pretty tense pretty quickly, both ends asking things, and no one willing to offer any answers. The stakes were high, glares cutting the air like blades. It did not help to ease the mood when in the sway of his hand your heart popped out of your chest. 

Long story short, his plan was never to drag you to the Polar Tang. Law wanted you to go willingly, joining his crew in exchange for your heart. However, the unfortunate variable he did not consider in the equation was that you would not go down without a fight. So by the time he reached the ship, he noticed the gentle fresh breeze ruffling his hair. 

You know, since his hair was usually covered by the hat. 

...

THE FREAKING HAT!

The next morning when he returned, you were waiting for him with a satisfied smirk bending your lips, the hat on your head, and the coin dancing between your fingers. 

At some point, you had stolen it, and once again, it passed unnoticed by him. That was not a good night for the Heart Pirates. And that was also the night Trafalgar Law realized a couple of things. The first, he needed you on his crew. And the second, you were going to be the death of him. Or maybe the aneurysm of him, he would not give you such credit. 

¨You´re late.¨ you said, amused, and his grip tightened around the sword.

¨What´s your name?¨ he repeated the question you dodged several times during your last encounter. 

¨What´s with the dog?¨ you pointed at the tall, white polar bear wearing a uniform. Law pursued his lips, breathing heavily through the nose.  

¨I am B-¨

¨Bepo-ya don´t talk to he-¨

¨Your name is Bepoya?¨ you ignored the man, bumping into his shoulder as you walked towards the mink ¨Hi, I´m Y/N! Nice meeting you.¨  

The polar bear looked back and forth at you and his Captain, not knowing how to behave in this situation, so he apologized and stepped farther back. 

¨Alrighty, now that we are all introduced, shall we go?¨ 

¨What?¨

¨Come on, Law, focus.¨ you snapped your fingers multiple times, teasing him. ¨You came here to pick me up, right?¨

¨No. I want my hat back.¨ He tried to grab it, but you ducked in time, holding the hat on your head with both hands. It was so soft. 

¨How about a trade? The coin for the hat.¨

¨How about my hat for your heart? Do this, and I won´t...¨ his words died in his mouth as he clutched his pockets. 

¨Looking for this?¨ You held your heart, wrapped in a cold and gelatinous box that you retrieved when you bumped into him minutes earlier.

How could you fool him again? He kept seeking answers that explained why it was so easy for you to outwit him, and his expression showed. 

¨You´re getting close, Law. Put your little trash can to work.¨ you tapped your temple, smiling mischievously at him. 

¨YN-ya, you know I can kill you, right?¨

¨Yeah, but you won´t.¨

¨How do you know?¨

¨I got a sixth sense for these things.¨ 

The rest of the conversation did not take long to come to an end. Amid sarcastic comments and threats to each other's lives, what should have been the pinnacle of the moment became a random passage in the Heart Pirates´ logbook.

¨So, YN-ya, do you want to join us? You´re gonna have to wear a uniform and address me as Captain.¨

¨I´ll give a chance to the uniform, and I´ll only address you as Captain when you behave as Captain.¨

Law sighed, giving himself a carotid massage ¨Ok. Let´s go.¨

He walked a few steps ahead of you and Bepo, wondering why he spent so much effort on an arrogant thief that wouldn't even call him Captain.

You quickly became friends with the polar bear, even apologizing for calling him a dog. He strangely apologized for your apologies, culminating in what would almost make the notorious Surgeon of Death suffer a stroke.

¨What the hell is that?!¨ you shouted when the Polar Tang entered your field of vision ¨That´s not a ship!¨

What if I am claustrophobic?

The ya thing is a schtick?

Death? That´s a little borderline controversial for a doctor.

Trafalgar more like Trafraude!

On occasions like that, Law wondered how peaceful and quiet would be the sixth level of Impel Down. From a current perspective, your initial interaction served as a vaccine, creating the necessary antibodies Law would need to deal with future pirate alliances. 

The crew got attached to you very quickly. Your adventurous spirit, your stunts, and street trades fascinated them. Losing bets against you seemed acceptable, your card tricks and the thing of guessing the numbers they thought was like fuel for a good day at work.

Law didn't seem to mind that much. After all, you wouldn't get him on his nerves if you were busy with them. However, one day, you let slip something that caught his attention. 

¨YEAH! That´s exactly what she looked like! How did you do this?!¨ 

Law heard Shachi´s roar, followed by a wave of surprised ´ooh´s coming from the kitchen, where the majority of the crew hunched around the dinner table. 

The doctor leaned against the door, silently observing what could possibly be more important than keeping the ship working. He had been drowning in files all night, and now he decided to have a coffee break. That mess early in the morning did not make him happy. 

No one seemed to be too intimidated when he cleared his throat, announcing his presence. Everyone greeted him with smiling 'good mornings' and turned their attention back to you.

 ¨What is going on here?¨

¨Captain did you know Y/N can see dead people?!¨ 

The coffee left a bitter aftertaste on his mouth.

¨What?¨

¨Yeah, Captain!¨ Shachi yelled on Law´s face, earning a death glare ¨She just described my mom!¨

¨Really, Y/N-ya? Now you´re a magician and a psychic?¨ he asked, taking the seat across from you. 

¨The perks of being me.¨ you shrugged. 

¨Do you see more dead people here?¨ 

Yes

¨No. But you sound a little skeptical, Law.¨ 

It was way too early for that discussion, but your biological clock didn't seem to care. Whenever Law came with his teasing, you would be ready to strike back.

He gave everyone a lecture about empathic accuracy and how good you were reading cues communicated by words, emotions, and body language. Or some crap like that. 

¨Ok, let me see if I got this right.¨ You shifted in the chair, hands moving in the air ¨You can pull organs out of people´s bodies, cut them in pieces without killing, switch their souls, but you do not believe that I can see dead people?¨

He tilted his head, but not giving you an exact answer.  

¨Do you wanna know what I think?¨

¨No.¨

¨I´ll tell you anyway. I think you have something you don´t want people to know, like a soft spot or a tragic past.¨ you sought the answer in his eyes ¨I´m guessing a loved one who died?¨ 

Overall, he was not wrong. You were a master in reading people´s body language, but you were not a jackass. So when the slight twitch of his mouth cleared up your doubts, it was time to stop. 

You knew how it felt, soft spots, tragic pasts, or late loved ones. There was no need to go further and throw more salt on his wounds. Hopefully, that taught him a lesson. 

An awkward silence ensued while everyone watched the scene, uncertain how to act, fearful that an extra spark would make everything explode into massive destruction.

¨Whatever.¨ he sighed ¨Show´s over. We´ll be reaching land in a few days, and we should be preparing to dock.¨ 

When everyone left the kitchen to go about their businesses, you remained alone with the figure that constantly wandered the submarine. He didn't do it in a creepy way. Despite his extravagant makeup and the intimidating aura, he was not a bother.

And it wasn't like he was there all the time, definitely more than anyone else. His passages were guaranteed on the days when Law was more sensitive. For bad or for good. He would look after him from the distance like a parenting figure. 

¨Who are you?¨ you murmured under your breath. 

For the next few days, Law made sure you were too busy to foster discussions about dead people or paranormal abilities.

When your services stealing rare supplies or getting answers to your Captain's questions you weren't required, you would help him with mountains of paperwork.

Only this time, he had outdone himself.

He managed to assemble the annual check-up of the crew, the inventory packing list, and the update of the logbook at once. This last one could easily wait until after you docked. But that freaking workaholic sadistic surgeon would not let this opportunity slip. So you pulled several all-nighters writing, signing, and stamping, all without exchanging a single word.

When you emerged, a few miles from land, you barely enjoyed the fresh breeze and sunlight. The crew hopped around, getting ready to put their feet on the continent as you sat in the kitchen profusely grouchy.

Your brain was fried, burnt, carbonized. 

¨You´re not coming?¨ Penguin asked, and you shook your head. ¨It´s been a while, Y/N, you should come.¨ you shook your head again. ¨I guess you´re not buying anything for the Captain´s birthday as well.¨

An incohesive question came out of your exhausted being. Penguin couldn´t help but feel sorry for you. ¨By the time his birthday comes up, we will be underwater, so everyone is preparing.¨ 

¨Do I have to?¨

¨No!¨ he chuckled ¨He doesn´t really like it, but we still buy him something.¨

¨Why?¨

¨´Cause he is a good Captain!¨ he said and sprunt out by the voice of someone calling him, waving goodbye at you. 

 It wasn't that you didn´t think Law was a good Captain. It was just an inherent nature of yours to clash every time you looked at each other. 

But on such occasion, you could combine the useful with the pleasant. After all, you were grateful because he gave you friends. Of course, he was the unfortunate by-product that came with them, but you could handle him. 

So fighting against your will to stay and sleep, you forced your way out to the solid ground, hoping to find the most random store someone could wish for, a haberdasher. 

Much to your delight, you did it. You picked a burgundy color wool and the first hook you put your eyes on and returned to your soft bed. 

The chances of you having scared your crewmates by staring at the blank for hours were high. In reality, you wanted to memorize and come up with a pattern for the strange-looking beanie that man wore. 

It had no pompom at the top like Penguin´s. Instead, two long pieces of fabric ran down from each side with heart-like things hanging.

When the sixth day of the tenth month arrived, Law´s desk was cluttered with presents. You had decided to wait until you were done with work and heading to bed to give it to him. 

After conquering that task, you locked yourself in your room, where you stayed until you had it finished. For some reason, you bothered to buy a box to put it in. Whatever.  

On the sixth day of the tenth month, Trafalgar Law could not focus on work. Every slight movement of yours, every bathroom break got him jittery, rehearsing words that wouldn´t make you hate him more. 

Not that you ever hated him, but you didn´t talk, so he didn´t know. After some time starting small talks and being ignored, you just gave up trying. 

By the end of that night, he had given up too. So when you placed the golden-yellow box on his desk, he couldn´t vocalize his feelings. It became just another silent night. 

Chests tight and hearts clogged with unspoken words. 

Law did not work for the next couple of days, and if he left his room, no one saw. The gifts on his desk were not even opened. Everything was left the way it was. 

Maybe you had crossed a line. 

As you marched up to the room at the end of the hall, several paths popped into your mind. You could act like you didn´t care, so what if you left? You had been alone for so long, it wouldn't make any difference! Still, something was begging you to apologize. To ask to stay, because being there was good, everything you never knew you wanted.

You were ready to pack your bags and have your title as a Heart Pirate retracted when you woke up one morning, finding a note on your desk telling you to meet him in his room. Your nails dug into your sweaty palms. Where did this tightness in your chest come from?

When you set foot in the room, your eyes hovered around. It was the first time you saw Law's room. It was exactly how you thought it would be.

Keeping your gaze locked on his was more difficult. He was sitting in an armchair near the foot of the bed. From afar, his appearance remained neat, as always, but as you approached you saw the circles under his eyes even darker. A thing you didn't think was possible.

For the first time, you didn't know how to read his expression. And seeing him vulnerable like that made your stomach drop. So you prepared yourself for the worst. However, to your surprise, all he did was ask you questions. 

No snarky remarks. You just talked.    

That day something changed. And from that day on, Law had found someone to help him carry the unbearable weight he had on his shoulders, and you found a place to call home. 

                                                             ...

¨Y/N-ya.¨ he called you, who was a cuddle away from sleeping.

¨Hm?¨

¨Before you left, in Sabaody...¨

¨Uhm.¨

¨You stole the coin again, didn´t you?¨ 

You giggled and pulled the commemorative coin from your back pocket, snuggling closer to his body and feeling the vibration of his chest as he chuckled.

Extra notes: I hope you had enjoyed it! It came out a little too long, but I have been feeling like I´m limiting myself when it comes to the number of words... I don´t know, I´m confused. 

Anyway, is that pink and red that I see on the horizon?

[capriccio-con-espressione]

Hotspot Pt.1

Genre: Smut 

Word Count: 1331

Warning: Sub!Yangyang, Dom!Reader, Femdom, Degradation, Profanity, Public humiliation, Edging, Orgasm denial, Spanking, Yangyang's lame Earth sandwich joke

A/N: 

1. Yangyang’s name (揚) has the same pronunciation as “lamb/sheep” (羊) in Mandarin, so y’all would see the word-fuck (X) word-play (O) on this often throughout the fic

2. Been planning to re-upload this fic from my old deleted acc but wanted to extend it and make some changes, yet was clueless before, but then I eventually got inspired, so I decided to release it as part one of something bigger, thanks to this anon for providing me with ideas for part two, and thanks to @wildernessuntothemselves​ for forcing (X) suggesting (O) me to collect the XiaoHenYang aka her TMTM trio

3. It’s almost Xiaojun’s birthday yet I posted Yangyang content, I’m sorry my lovely prince. Anyone who’s thirsty for him can read my month-old upload here

   “Goddamn-f-fuck, please!” Yangyang swears in utter desperation as you suddenly withdraw your hand from his cock, denying his first orgasm. He shifts in the chair in an attempt to grab you, but futile since his hands are tied behind it, as he’s kneeling on the seat facing backward with his ass pushed out, while his legs are forced open wide since both his thighs are secured to the armrests of the chair as well, rendering him into a compromising position.

  “Brats like you don’t deserve to cum.” You state icily before thrashing his sensitive rear with the paddle. "You never want to miss a chance to annoy me with all that endless fussing, don't you?"

  "I don't deserve this punishment with just that Earth sandwich joke...ahh stopppp…" 

  "That lame joke is not the point, you brat." You hiss, tugging his hair, as Yangyang's hard-on jolts at the sudden sensation of pain. "Remember how awfully much you snickered about making a sandwich with my pussy around your dick hmm? Giving me that stupid devilish grin whenever you have one for meals? Even shamelessly bragging about it in front of other members to embarrass the hell out of me? You are just a pathetic horny little lamb…"

  "C-c'mon, it's not that b-bad when you actually like my teasing..." Yangyang gasps in between your relentless spanks in arousal, as you can tell that his second orgasm is nearing.

  "Oh? How you like this sandwich with my hand then?" You smirk as you wrap your hand around his cock again, fingers irregular dancing on the tip yet not pumping him.

  "Ahh-L-like it! Just let me cum goddamn it!" Yangyang's whole body tenses up and curls up as he can't handle the teasing anymore.

  "That's not how you ask for things, bad little lamb." You chastise while giving a slap on his angry red cock, earning a yelp from him.

  “...P-please Mistress let me cum…” Yangyang begs, his proud form finally breaking down.

  “Good try, but not quite.” You smirk, before resuming his spanking again.

  “Ahhh Mistress I’ll be a good little lamb for you...now p-please let me cum…” Yangyang’s voice falters at the denial of his second orgasm.

  “That’s my cute little lamb…” You praise as you peck his now teary cheek, before finally granting him release with your hand, as he lets out a loud moan upon climaxing. 

  “Now you know you shouldn’t be bragging about sandwiches too often.” You embrace Yangyang in your arm while soothing his red flesh with the other, calming the sobbing boy down.

  “You should be more kind to me since you already sin too much torturing me…” Yangyang gazes into you as he forms a cheeky pout, the way how he quickly returns to his usual mischievous self surprising you a little.

  "I am already showing you enough kindness by letting you cum without much teasing." You sneer as you wipe the white tendrils off Yangyang’s gradually limping cock and your hand.

  "Without much teasing? Says someone who literally edged me twice, so fucking bossy." Yangyang retorts while letting out a sigh of relief as you untied his hands behind the chair.

  "I am sure you can take much more than that, usually I would edge you for hours until your bratty mouth can't talk back to me anymore." You imply your annoyance for his endless ripostes, since it's always difficult for your boyfriend to just be grateful for his orgasms instead of being cheeky.

  "Nah you are just sadistic as hell. You are just one cruel cougar who loves my suffering too much." Oblivious of your hint for him to behave, your boyfriend still continues his complaints, redressing himself while smirking at you.

  "Cheeky boys deserve to be disciplined with cruelty, and somehow you like it too much, and love to ask for more by being a nuisance, don't you, my little painslut?" You reply slyly, another punishment for this ungrateful boy beginning to form. 

  "Now that your butt cheeks are rosy hot spots…” You say thoughtfully as you rub his ass teasingly. “...I am gonna give you the taste of real embarrassing punishment. Now give me your phone."

  Yangyang reluctantly hands you his phone. "What for?"

  "Unlock it."

  "No!"

  "Just obey me you brat." You hiss while tugging his hair, forcing him to comply with a wince.

  "Don't worry, I am not gonna post something weird on social media." You reassure him while opening up settings on his phone. "But, everyone will know someone has been a slutty hotspot in heat while connecting to wifi…" You triumphantly smirk as you click "Save" after changing his SSID.

  "'Mistress’ Slutty Lil 🐑🐑'? Hell no that's embarrassing!!" He snatches back his phone in an attempt to undo your act of mischief.

  "Do not ever try to change it." You demand sternly, covering his screen with your palm. "If I catch you disobey me, you will get punished even harder. Understand, Mistress’ slutty little lamb?"

  "Alright…" Yangyang sighs and facepalms, already internally freaking out about how his members will react upon seeing this.

  You smirk in delight as you both leave your makeshift playroom, which is a storage room, to catch up on your normal lives. Yangyang returns to his members as you meet up with other staff to participate in a meeting discussing details of upcoming shootings for the next project.

  Yangyang slouches back to his room but gets caught up with Lucas before he can retreat behind the door.

  "Yo bro, care to explain this?" Lucas holds his screen in front of the younger's face, grinning so knowingly that Yangyang has to fight back every urge to punch him in the face.

  "See no evil." He weakly protests, hoping not to embarrass himself even further, and shuts the door in Lucas' face.

  Thinking he has escaped the ordeal, he doesn't realize how bad things can get until he opens up the WayV group chat. Hendery has posted a screenshot of all the WiFi SSIDs his phone detected and circled the obvious questionable one, and all the other members reacted with either stickers with laughing expressions or words like "Our naughty 🐑  has finally got the taste of his medicine!" or "Y/N'S REALLY MAD LMAO", all of their mockings make Yangyang wants to dig a hole and bury himself in it.

  Red with both embarrassment and resentment, he decides to defy you as his devilish side begins to awake. Since he's never the type to listen well to anyone, then why should he this time? Besides, he feels his body begins to heat up with a familiar tingle again as he thinks about all the pain and degrading words that will be inflicted on him after you find out about his rebel, as he brazenly invites more with more provocative and insolent remarks, then eventually feeling himself dissolving into ascending sting and humiliation that turn into euphoric pleasure soon afterwards…

  Licking his lips at the indecent thoughts, he alters the SSID and waits impatiently for your discovery.

  Ten minutes later, he receives a screenshot from you as well as an angered message from you. "'Mistress’ bossy af 👿'? You fucking brat."

  "Just telling the truth 🤷"

  "You are originally getting 20 paddles on your bare ass, now it's 40."

  "Shouldn't you focus on your meeting first?"

  "IDGAF now. Change it to 'Fuck Lil Slutty🐑  Pls😩' in under a minute or you're getting 80."

  80 spanks? Yangyang ponders. Tho being a painslut he is, he still needs to make sure that he can function normally tomorrow to avoid more unwanted attention. Sighing, he decides to give in to you and finally obeys.

  Sliding off nearly every notification from the uproar in his group chat for this even more humiliating SSID, he feels unexpectedly even more exhilarated at your praising messages that concludes with a specific time and place to meet up for the main course of punishment that he both somewhat fears but also craves.

[demxters]

Three Times

sarah cameron x female!reader 

summary: the three times john b tries to make a move on sarah cameron, your girlfriend...

requested: kind of? anon asked for any sarah cameron fic if i was planning on posting my writing on here 

word count: 1.9k

warnings: swearing 

a/n: my first sarah cameron imagine! i kinda liked how this turned out and hopefully you guys do too :) 

(gif credit @rue-bennett​) 

*** 

Sarah has come to you countless times about John B’s blatant flirting. You were more amused than upset if you were being honest. You and Sarah have been in a secret relationship for over a month now. The desire to keep your relationship a secret was shared amongst you both for you weren’t sure how your families would react to the news. You were both already walking on thin ice with your parents for hanging out with the Pogues. Sneaking kisses when no one was looking and teasing under the table gave you two such a rush that you didn’t mind keeping it a secret a little longer. That was until John B tried making a move on Sarah. 

The first time it happened... You and Sarah were spending another summer day out with the Pogues in the marsh, swimming, smoking, and drinking, your usual shenanigans. You were laying on the bow of the boat sunbathing and admiring your girlfriend swimming with the Pogues from afar. Sarah saw you staring and swam up to the front of the boat. 

“Hey you,” she said with a grin. “Join us for a swim, you look like you're burning up here.” 

You let out a laugh, “I’m good thanks. Besides, I was just enjoying the view.” You send Sarah a smirk as you lower your sunglasses down the bridge of your nose, your gaze meeting hers. 

“Shut up,” Sarah says while rolling her eyes as if she’s annoyed, but you could tell she was trying to suppress a smile from the blush on her cheeks. She splashes you with some water, the sudden cold causing you to shoot up from laying down and you shrivel into yourself. 

“Jeez! The water’s cold…” You playfully glare at Sarah and sit up to fold the towel you were laying on. “I hate you.” 

“C’mon Y/N, you don’t mean that,” Sarah giggles using her forearms to push herself up so you are both at each other's eye level, slightly leaning in. 

You begin to lean in as well but right before your lips touch hers, she leans up to press a kiss onto your nose before dunking herself back in the water and swimming away. “Sarah Cameron you tease!” you exclaim. 

Sarah lets out a laugh as she swims away. 

___

The sun began to set as the Pogues make their way back to the boat.  

“Hey, Y/N,” JJ greats as he pulls himself onto the boat. “Pass me a beer please?” 

“You got it Maybank.” You pop open the cooler that’s placed beside you and toss him a can of beer. 

Pope and Kie get onto the boat not long after him and you find yourself so engrossed in a conversation about saving the environment and college scholarships that you don’t notice Sarah and John B getting back onto the boat as well. 

The sound of John B’s laugh pulls you out of your conversation with Pope and Kiara and you glance over at him to see him cozying up to your girlfriend. John B is sitting so close to Sarah that his leg is pressed up against hers. Sarah turns to you and gives you a small look that screams, ‘Help!’. You giggle and shake your head, but when you see John B place his hand on Sarah’s bare thigh you abruptly stand up causing everyone to look at you in shock and confusion. You just clear your throat and walk over to John B and Sarah, plopping yourself in between them. “Sarah, can you re-tie my bikini top? It feels like it’s getting loose,” you say moving your hair to your front and facing John B. You send him a small smile to which he looks down at his feet. 

“All done,” Sarah says with a look of amusement on her face. 

“Thanks, babe,” you say, patting her cheek with your hand before returning back to your spot next to Pope and Kie, leaving a dumbfounded John B and smiling Sarah in your wake. 

The second time it happened… You and the gang were watching movies at the Chateau. It was a weekly tradition to have a movie night every Friday. Tonight’s movie was ‘Scream.’ You were in the kitchen popping some popcorn while everyone else was situating themselves in the living room. 

“JJ get your feet out of my face!” Kiara says as she continues to slap JJ’s leg. 

Pope moves in beside Kie and puts an arm around her shoulder as he laughs at the two. 

Sarah places herself on the floor placing her blanket in your spot. Seeing that Sarah is sitting on the floor, John B offers Sarah a spot next to him on the loveseat. 

“It’s ok John B. Y/N/N and I are ok sitting on the floor,” she responds without even sparing him a second glance. 

John B stands up and sits on the other side of Sarah, puts his arm around her and says, “Well I can’t have you two ladies sitting here by yourselves.” To which Sarah gives him a nervous chuckle. 

With the popcorn bowl in hand, you make your way into the living room announcing, “Who wants some popcorn?” 

A chorus of “me’s” and a loud “yes!” from JJ greets you as you give the bowl to Kiara and take your seat next to Sarah, noticing that John B was seated on her other side. 

“How come no one wants to sit on the loveseat?” you ask, noticing its vacancy. 

“Well, I offered Sarah a spot but she said she was just gonna sit on the floor with you, so I decided it wasn’t fair to have the loveseat all to myself while you ladies were on the floor,” John B says nonchalantly. 

“Oh, well John B do you mind if me and Sarah take the loveseat instead then? I’m sure they can make some room for you on the couch, right guys?” you ask, giving Kiara a look. 

“Yeah, definitely,” Kie responds. “JJ, scoot over.”

“What? But I was laying down here-” JJ cuts off as Kiara hits him on the arm. “Ow, ok fine I’m moving,” He grumbles as he sits back up.

“C’mon,” you whisper to Sarah grabbing her hand and pulling her over to the loveseat.

John B gives Sarah one last look of longing before sitting down next to JJ on the couch. 

“Is someone jealous?” Sarah asks softly in her spot next to you. She pokes your side under the blanket causing you to let out a small giggle. 

“No, and stop that. I just think John B needs to learn the definition of personal space.” You grab her finger when she tries to poke you again and lace your fingers through hers. 

Sarah glances back down at your intertwined hands that are under the blanket and turns to the tv screen with flushed cheeks and a smile on her face. 

The third time it happened… You were waiting for Sarah and Kie at the wreck with the boys. Sitting at your usual table, you were munching on some fries while the boys were having a little conversation of their own. 

“Why don’t you just tell her, man? Maybe she just thinks you're being overly affectionate like you are with the rest of us,” you hear JJ say. 

“Or she could just like someone else guys, you never know.” Pope replies. 

“No, I know, but it can’t hurt to try, right?” John B asks. 

Their conversation suddenly piques your interest so you ask, “Can’t hurt to try what?” 

“Nothing,” John B says as Pope says at the same time, “Ask Sarah out.” 

“Oh,” is all you say before continuing to eat your fries. 

“What do you think I should do Y/N? I mean has she told you if she likes anyone? Or has she ever mentioned me before?” John B asks with a desperate look in his eyes. 

You feel kind of bad as you look at John B knowing he has no chance with her so you say, “She’s mentioned how great of a friend you are? She hasn’t said anymore than that.” You pause. “Oh, and she also has her eye on someone else.” 

“Yikes dude you just got friendzoned,” JJ says. Pope lets out a low whistle. 

Sarah and Kie enter The Wreck and move towards your table. 

“Hey guys, sorry we’re late,” Sarah says taking a seat next to you. 

“S’no problem,” Pope says, making room for Kiara. 

“Hey Sarah, can I talk to you for a second?” John B asks. 

God this boy is stubborn as hell, you think. 

Sarah responds, “Um, yeah sure. What about?” 

John B scratches the back of his neck. “Can we talk alone?” 

“Oh, ok,” Sarah says, her face falling. “We’ll be back in a sec, guys.”

You get a sick feeling in your gut as you realize what’s about to happen. John B is going to try to ask Sarah out and you can’t say anything about it. You were getting so tired of John B constantly hitting on your girlfriend that you couldn’t continue being silent, so you did the unimaginable. As Sarah got up from her seat, you grabbed her hand and said, “That’s fine, babe just be quick.” You pulled her down to your level and planted a quick kiss on her lips. 

John B says, “Um, what?” while JJ mutters, “Holy shit dude.” Kie slow claps and Pope lets out an, “It’s about time!” 

Sarah looks shocked at first before giving you an incredulous look and kisses you again. This time, you stand up and she cups your face with her hands. Sarah pulls away, her face bright red and her eyes full of love. “Y/N’s my girlfriend,” she whispers to no one in particular, still looking at you. She grabs both of your hands in hers and turns to John B and the rest of the group as she confidently says, “Y/N’s my girlfriend.” 

You smile and shyly put your head down, a little nervous to know how the Pogues would react. 

Pope smiles and says, “We know, Sarah.” 

“Wha-you know?” 

“Yeah, Pope, you know?” John B adds. 

“Yes, we know, dumbass,” Kie responds. “Pope and I figured it out a couple weeks ago. The way the two look at each other, call each other pet names, and are always leaving our get togethers early should’ve been your first clue.” 

“Shit, guys,” John B says with a guilty look on his face. “If I had known-” 

“John B,” you cut him off, “It’s ok.” You let go of Sarah’s hands and walk over to John B. You grab his hand and say, “I’m sorry we kept this a secret from you, from all of you actually,” you acknowledge the rest of the group. “We just didn’t know how to tell you and our parents,” you pause before continuing, “our parents would kill us if they found out.” 

“It’s ok, I get it,” John B says. He runs his hand through his hair still in shock. 

“Don’t worry John,” you say squeezing his hand lightly, “There’s so many other girls out there and you’re such a great guy that I’m sure you’ll find the one for you someday.” 

You pull John B in for a hug and he whispers to you, “Thanks, Y/N.” 

“So, you two have sex yet?” 

“JJ!” you and Sarah exclaim. 

John B pulls away from you. “Way to ruin the moment, man.” 

[aspoonofsugar]

I was happy to discover you are in ATLA fandom too. Could you please share your thoughts on Azula? I like your analyses

Hello anon!

Thank you very much for the nice words and for this ask! I love Azula!

I think Azula’s character explores the idea of control:

In The Avatar State, she is shown training to master “lightening”. There, it is shown how losing control of even a small detail, like a lock of hair, is enough to make Azula angry.

It is not by chance that such a scene occurs in an episode focused on the Avatar State. As a matter of fact the Avatar State and the lightening can (partially) be compared when it comes to Aang and Zuko’s stories in book two. This book opens up with Aang trying to enter the Avatar State and with the lightening being introduced thanks to Azula’s character. What is more, both Aang and Zuko try to get a hold of the two different techniques throughout the season. Finally, both skills need for the user to “let go” of their feelings.

In particular, when it comes to the lightening, there are two different ways to interpret this:

Iroh: There is energy all around us. The energy is both Ying and Yang. Positive energy and negative energy. Only a select few firebenders can separate these energies. This creates an imbalance. The energy wants to restore balance and, in the moment the positive and negative energy come pressing back together, you provide release and guidance...creating lightening. (...) Remember, once you separate the energy you do not command it. You are simply its humble guide.”

Iroh: “Lightening is a pure expression of fire-bending without aggression. It is not fueled by rage or emotion the way other firebending is. Some call lightening the cold blooded fire. It is precise precise and deadly, like Azula. To perform the technique requires peace of mind.”

On one hand Iroh’s description is interesting because it is as if creating lightening is a process of synthesis. You separate opposites and have them come back together, so that they can gain a new form. So it makes sense that, thematically, this new synthesis can happen only if the character overcomes their inner turmoil. This is also why Zuko is not able to learn the skill:

Iroh: “You will not be able to master lightening until you have dealt with the turmoil inside you.”

Zuko: “What turmoil!?”

Iroh: “Zuko, you must let go of your feelings of shame if you want your anger to go away.”

In order to acquire it, he should let go of his shame, but he can’t do it. The fact that “shame” is what stops Zuko from making progress is interesting. As explained by Guru Pathick, thus, the fire chakra is the chakra of will and it is polluted by shame.

On the other hand the lightening is called cold-blooded firebending because it can be realized only by benders whose emotions are kept in check. I would argue that this is the reason why Azula is able to use this skill. It is not that she has reached a level of emotional maturity which lets her become a  “humble guide” to the energy. It is just that she constantly represses her feelings. This repression gives the idea that she is in perfect control, but this impression is a superficial one and it is proven wrong towards the end of the story.

In short, Zuko is not able to use lightening because of his explosive emotions, while Azula is able to because she restricts her feelings. Let’s highlight that this difference between the two siblings comes up again in a key episode aka The Beach:

Once again Zuko’s emotions are in full display. He is angry and nervous. He might not know why, but he is. Moreover he is finally able to express himself thanks to a confrontation with the other members of the group. Finally he does so while a giant fire erupts to highlight the catharsis of the moment. When it comes to Azula, she too opens up a little. In particular, she lets this slip:

Azula: I don't have sob stories like all of you. I could sit here and complain how our mom like Zuko more than me. But I don't really care. My own mother... thought I was a monster... She was right of course, but it still hurt.

Azula thinks that Ursa saw her as a monster. It is clear that the unsolved issues with her mother have left a sign on her. However, when she has the chance to truly let it all out, she does not. She changes the tone of the conversation and immediately leaves the topic. However, this does not mean that she is not troubled. If anything, her emotions keep burning behind a cold exterior, exactly like the fire, which burns under the ashes. Almost invisible, but still there.

About this, let’s consider two things.

1) In The Beach episode, Azula does something similar here:

Azula: “Come down to the beach with me. Come on! This place is depressing.”

Zuko starts talking about their past and their family, but Azula does not engage in the conversation and tells him to leave.

2) When Azula opens up, the others do not challenge her. They do not ask her what she meant nor they try to contradict what she said. This is different from what they have just done with each other. All in all, Zuko openly provokes Ty Lee and Ty Lee, Zuko and Azula all provoke May, until she shouts. Finally, all the girls keep asking Zuko who he is really angry with, until he is finally able to answer.

These two considerations can be linked to more general ideas.

a) Azula is a person who needs to always be in control. This has two consequences. The first is that she never lets herself be vulnerable. She is always on guard and closed up to others. The second is that she is like a fish out of water when there is nothing to control.

This is made clear in the episode The Beach:

Zuko: “Doing nothing is a waste of time. We are being sent a way in a force vacation. I feel like a child.”

In this episode, Azula and the others are given a break. However, Azula, just like Zuko, is not really able to take a break.

She is on an island and should relax, but the only way she manages to do so is by finding new enemies:

She must continually challenge herself and must change everything in a competition (and win it) in order not to face how empty she feels. This is why, in the end, her solution to the insecurities the beach re-awakens in her is to trash a party. She can’t fit in a group of pampered teenagers, so she ruins their evening. However, what Azula should really do is to try to understand why she does not fit.

The episode shows that Azula is ignorant when it comes to casual relationships:

Azula: “I am so used to people worshipping us”.

Ty Lee: “They should!”

Azula: “I know and I love it. But for once I just wanna see how people would react to us if they did not know who we were.”

She says so directly. She has been worshipped all her life. However, this means she does not know how people react to her outside of her role as a princess and a military leader.

The military aspect is especially interesting because, even if she does not disclose her identity as a royal, her attempts to bond are all centered around military topics:

Azula: “That's a sharp outfit, Chan. Careful, you could puncture the hull of an empire-class Fire Nation battle ship, leaving thousands to drown at sea. Because... it's so sharp.”

Azula: “Together you and I will be... THE STRONGEST COUPLE IN THE WHOLE WORLD! We will dominate the Earth!”

Her life has been a long training session for war, so she does not really know anything else. This is obvious both in how she can’t talk about other things and in how she sees others not like people, but like enemies/rivals.

This is also why the vacation in Amber Island could have been very important if Azula had been able to properly capitalize on it. All in all, The Beach is the episode where Azula is shown the most vulnerable (not counting the finale where she has a complete break-down).

She tries to change her approach to go along with others:

Azula: “Well that sounds really shallow and stupid...Let’s try it!

She openly apologizes and shows her insecurities:

“Look...maybe I just said it because I was a little...jealous.”

However, all of this is not enough to change the trajectory of her arc. Why is that so? This has to do with another aspect of Azula’s controlling tendencies. As a matter of fact not only does she controls herself, but also others.

b) Azula is presented since the beginning as a highly manipulative character. Manipulation is at the root of all her major relationships:

Zuko:You lied to me!

Azula: Like I've never done that before.

She lies to Zuko to catch him and forces Ty Lee to join her through manipulation. Moreover most of her plans rely on manipulation and lies. However, if you try to control and manipulate others you are unable to build healthy relationships.

This is what happens to Azula. As stated above, nobody replies to Azula when she opens up. Zuko could have very easily told her Ursa loved them both. May and Ty Lee could have tried to comfort her somehow. However, nobody does. And nobody does because they are all scared of Azula. In her attempt to control everybody, Azula has negated herself the chance to have  a relationship among equals.

What is more, it is clear that it is impossible to fully control others. The Beach starts to show this through Azula’s attempts to flirt. Without her status as a princess, her peers do not behave like she wants. She might be able to hook up with a guy by rehearsing and applying a strategy. However, building a relationship is not a military operation. It is not something that can be done through control, but only through respect and trust.

Azula fails to do so and this is why she is left behind by others. She is left behind by Zuko who breaks free from their father. She is left behind by Mai and Ty Lee who choose healthier relationships over the one they have with her. After she loses them, Azula starts spiralling out of control and burns everything around her.

In short, I would say that Azula’s main flaw is “control”. She wants to control everyone, herself included. So in the end she is betrayed and left behind by people and she herself loses control:

Ursa: I think you're confused. All your life you've used fear to control people. Like your friends Mai and Ty Lee.

Azula:Well what choice do I have? Trust is for fools! Fear is the only reliable way. Even you fear me.

This is especially tragic because it is clear that Azula’s behaviour is her answer to an environment where a clear line was drawn between winners and losers. Azula has always been Ozai’s favourite, but Ozai has never loved her. He loves Azula’s talent, so Azula cultivates those qualities which make her accepted by her father. What is more, Ozai is not a character who values feelings or emotions, so Azula represses these aspects of herself.

In conclusion, I think Azula is a very tragic character and that her spiral was very well written and realistic. I also think that in the series itself she has shown the potential to change for the better, but this possibility has not been explored. I mean, if she had no guilt nor regrets about her behaviour, she would not have seen the hallucination of her mother calling her out.

These are more or less my major thoughts on Azula. There are probably many other things to add, but as far as my generic impressions of her go, this is what I have to say. Feel free to make more specific questions! I love her!

Thank you for the ask!

[decembermoonskz]

Hello moonbeams~! Writing letters is something I’m good at, because even if I stumble in all other forms of communication sometimes, my writing, my words never fail me. The overall negative energy, annoyance and sometimes hatred towards the pandemic, the social/political topics and the year in general can be very draining and or taxing on me and you all. Of course we’re upset too but seeing so much hate can be draining for people like me, and maybe you. So for a moment, grab a seat and a blanket and listen as I read this letter to you. This is a letter from me, to you, and I offer a blessing from her majesty the moon herself as well.

2020 has been one hell of a year that’s for sure. I experienced a lot of sadness, fatigue and overall lower moods as I tend to take on the energy of the world heavily. There has been so much that’s happened to us all, sadness, fear, anger, heartbreak; but even still we survived it. There were so many that felt we wouldn’t make it through this year or make it to the end as it felt like it would go on forever, but we’re here now, to write these letters, to tell these stories. 

Even in this hectic year, I experienced so much, I felt happiness, joy I cried a lot and released so many pent up feelings, I came to terms with things I had locked away, I laughed a lot, I found passions that I thought were long lost. So much has happened to me in this year both ups and downs and I’m grateful for it all. You may be wondering why I would be grateful for downs as well, they helped teach me things, how strong I am; how it’s okay to give in and feel your sadness or pain; to validate my emotions; and a lot more. I hope that with all that’s happened you were able to take in some lessons yourself.

Below this cut, I wanted to thank some people who made my experience on tumblr as wonderful as it has been, more amazing than I had ever expected it to be. I came on here extremely nervous about sharing my stories and these people have been so warm and welcoming and honestly I wouldn’t have enjoyed my time as much without them. I’ll have my ending message at the bottom of this. 

@sleepylixie Lily darling, my brain twin!! you’ve made my short tumblr life so much fun! sharing brain waves one moment, soundboarding ideas the next, and having so many things in common between us it’s crazy (wolfie gang). You’ve become one of the best things to happen to me on this site! xoxo thank you for always sharing your wonderful ideas with me and for sharing my love of fantasy!! Oh and I can’t forget all the shared screaming we do over skz and anything else xD I’m so glad we started talking and even in just a short time I feel so close to you already!! Thank you for letting me vent out all my ideas and for letting me be that person for your ideas too, thank you for always giving such good feedback and opinions and thank you for just overall being one of my favorite people to talk to. I hope we can make more wonderful memories in the coming year and beyond it. love you darling have a beautiful 2021~ 💜💜💜 ⟪ song rec: Another Day - Stray Kids ⟫

@rebecca-noona​ Becca! You were the first person to interact with my blog and when I look back on it, I’m so thankful you did. I love our talks about Korea and skz and writing. Your support has always been incredibly helpful, thank you for always being a cheerleader for me, it means the world. I hope you know I love you and support you and your works and whatever you wish to do so much as well!! I’m so happy we started talking and you make me so happy. Thank you for being my friend and when I finally get to Korea you gotta show me around when you get back!! I hope your process of getting back is smooth and easy, stay as optimistic as you can love!! xoxo  ⟪ song rec: motive - Ariana Grande (ft. Doja Cat) ⟫ 

@skzctnightnight​ bel! bel! :DD it’s your words of encouragement that helped me create this blog, you’re one of the reasons I’m here!! your works have been some of my favorites and I was so happy when I first reached out to you. Your kindness really touched me and being your anon at the time was so much fun >v< Prowl will forever be one of my favorite series and you inspire me with your works!! I love talking with you no matter if it’s a quick chat, or a long convo, I always love talking to you. Thank you for making my 2020 so nice! I’m glad I know you and let’s talk more soon! <3  ⟪ song rec: Clarity - Kim Petras ⟫ 

@aliceu​ Alice!! I’m so thankful we met by chance when replying to one of Lily’s posts LOL I think it was an ask of yours about fantasy, and we shared a mutual love for it xD I want you to know that I always smile and I’m always happy when you send asks or dms so please I hope you never worry about being a bother and keep sending them hehe >v</ Thank you for always taking some of your time  to check out my stories and for always leaving such wonderful feedback too!! It makes me happy to read your mini reviews about them!! Thanks for having little chats with me too. I enjoy them always and I hope we can continue to chat more 2021!! Please have a great new year and stay safe and comfy uwu ⟪ song rec: TMT - Stray Kids ⟫ 

@t-toodumbtocare​ Bar! xoxo I’m so glad we finally started talking and I’m hoping we can talk more soon >w<b You’re so fun and sweet and your stories are cute!! I wanna read more soon!! >^<9 Thanks for our little chats and thanks for checking out my stories as well I appreciate it. I hope to get to know you better in the coming year and I hope you have the best 2021!!  ⟪ song rec: Cruel Summer - Taylor Swift ⟫ 

@delicatewerewolfsoul​​ Vicky!!! I’m so happy we started talking! I loved talking about animals and pets with you and I loved all the skz soft hours asks you sent (I hope you send more of them psst psst) they made my day!! You’re such a sweetheart and you’re a master of heart memes xD I hope your 2021 is wonderful just like you are!! Stay safe and warm you cute bean xoxo ⟪ song rec: Inception - ATEEZ ⟫ 

@dreamescapeswriting​ Hi M!!! Okay full disclosure!! I’ve actually read some of your works before having tumblr LOL Like I really enjoyed them (Lucky and You Love Me are so cute) and honestly I was shy about reaching out but I’m so glad I did because now I wanna continue to talk and send you hugs! >V< I’m so glad we’re both gamers and your asks make me so happy! Thank you for being the sweetie you are and I hope we can talk more in 2021!! Have a great new year cutie!! <3 ⟪ song rec: False God - Taylor Swift ⟫ 

to my mutuals and other moonbeams who I wanna talk to more and love and support so much!! @mikoto-ica-fics​ @hanflix​ @chogiwow​ @redsandroses​ @meiiyue​ @missskzbiased​ @rosieecheeks​ I hope we can talk more in the new year and I love you a lot!!! You’re all such beautiful souls!! Know I’m sending you love and hugs and all the support I can muster \>v</ xoxoxoxoxo ⟪ song rec: Breath - GOT7 ⟫ 

To my beautiful nonnies, I’m super happy you’re here. I miss you all and hope you’re well and to the new ones welcome welcome!! I hope you know all your messages make me so happy! When I started my blog, I didn’t imagine I’d have as many anons as I do now, I didn’t think I’d have many, maybe 2 or 3? You guys make me so happy and I hope to see you more in my inbox when you have the time!!! <33 ⟪ song rec: You Can STAY - Stray Kids ⟫ 

To all my followers, my darling moonbeams!! Thank you so much for joining on this journey of practice and self-love that I’ve been trying to embark on. The comments, the reblogs, the likes, the asks, all of it, it means the world to me. To re-learn that it is possible for people to enjoy what I do, and not tie it to my own self-worth has been something I’m so thankful for. You all helped me learn that so thank you. I hope you continue to enjoy the stories I put out and feel free to reach out anytime! I’m so happy to have 300+ (almost 400) of you lovely moonbeams here! I hope you all have a wonderful 2021! It doesn’t matter who you are, how old you are, where you come from, what you identify as, what you believe in, or who you love; you are all precious moonbeams here in this haven.  ⟪ song rec: Haven - Stray Kids ⟫ 

I know I say it a million times but since this is a wrapup letter I’ll share it again shortly. My blog was made for the main purpose of learning to appreciate my passion for writing and to not cage myself from posting and sharing my stories. I wanted to learn to write for myself and that posting stories in and of itself was the main victory, and everything else was the bonus, instead of thinking when people like it, only then is it good. I’ve done that before and having learned from it I now feel more prepared to tackle this. Thank you again for all the warm welcomes and the love I’ve received it still hasn’t quite sunk in for me and it feels so unreal. To know you all enjoy my stories and give me so much love, it’s crazy and it’s happening and I am so happy. I’m very thankful I took the leap of faith even though I was scared and decided to create this blog! 2020 challeneged me as well as pushed me and supported me. I experienced hard times yes, but I also experienced some really amazing things. I found comfort in things new and old, I feel like the quarantine made me come to terms with myself more, not run from things I wanted to confront and talk to myself more. I feel like 2020 albeit really draining in all ways, helped shape me and I got stronger because of living through this year. Now before I get any more preach-y than I already have LOL Thank you for being a part of my 2020 everyone!! I hope to have you with me in 2021 and I hope you experience the blessings of the moon like I feel we all do. See you in 2021 y’all! We’ll get through next year and the next and the next, I know it! 💜

Love Izzy 

[migleefulmoments]

Abby is the 1 who needs a reading comprehension lesson. An anonymous person said 'You're a narrow-minded fool if you actually put any stock in whether or not a married man is wearing his ring.' Abby's reply was 'Never once did I or anyone I know say that a married person has to wear a ring.' Am I crazy or is that totally 2 different things? Sometimes Abby is so blind it makes me crazy. Also, if u could do a follow up to her blatherings re her post it would be great. I'm just gobsmacked over it.

I see you wrote another post clarifying it was Cassie who made the comments you quoted but the entire coven’s comments after Cassie just get more ridiculous- “fact” after “fact” of lies and nonsense comparisons.  It’s batty that they believe any of the lies- but they believe them all! 

Anonymous asked: My grandpa doesn't wear his wedding ring because he used to work as an AC/heating repair man (he even taught college courses on fixing heaters at one point) and then was just not in the habit when he retired. That doesn't make his and grandma's marriage less valid. Rings are a symbolic thing that most cultures don't even do. You're a narrow-minded fool if you actually put any stock in whether or not a married man is wearing his ring.

cassie1022 answered: Oh yay, fun. (Cassie -always so charming)  My dear Nonnie, once again, reading comprehension eludes someone that believes in the Miarren myth. Never once did I or anyone I know say that a married person has to wear a ring (and yet Abby pops in below to claim the same but then argue that it IS the ring coming and going that looks suspicious. Let’s pretend that cc rings were real- he didn’t wear them every day regardless of what Abby claims.). Some people don’t wear them because they work with their hands, like your grandpa, and some just don’t feel comfortable wearing them. Let’s be real though. D has never shown an aversion to wearing rings. He’s worn them quite often, even while playing a show (yes, but he also took them off.  It’s his prerogative.  Until he says he’s getting divorced, it’s none of our business). There was a time when the only time he DIDN’T have a ring on was while he was in character (so what? He has had his wedding ring on most times we’ve seen him. You are counting individual photos as entire days and that isn’t accurate)

That being said, let’s examine. When was the last time you think D fixed a car, operated heavy machinery, or, like your grandpa, fixed an AC unit or heater?  (You have no idea what he does in his spare time.  This is a gross comment-some people do things with their hands -build things- because they enjoy it)  (Maybe if he could do that, people wouldn’t be making their own sweat gravy when they go to TSG.)(So now we start with the lies and mischaracterizations. FUN. There are two comments from TSG claiming A/C was broken. Since likely Mia doesn’t own the building, she has no control over the A/C being broken). 

As I’ve already said, rings aren’t for everyone, but I’ve also pointed out that D has been an avid ring wearer most of his life, and there is more than enough photographic evidence to support this. Also, most couples that exchange rings don’t usually stop wearing them in the first year of marriage.(And he hasn’t stopped wearing his now has he?) That’s when it’s usually a point of pride and you want the world to know you are someone’s spouse. (Does Darren seem like the kind of person who is worried about “the world knowing he’s someone’s spouse”? He’s pretty open about his relationship and taking his ring off for an hour or two isn’t indicative of anything).

You know what DOES make a marriage less valid? No legitimate officiant.(LIE)  There are only a handful of states where you can officiate your own marriage, and guess what? Louisiana isn’t one of them.(He didn’t, Joe did)  You need an ordained minister and in addition to that, the minister must register in the parish where the marriage is taking place.

So, if this makes me a “narrow-minded fool,” so be it. I’ve been called worse. (It definitely does).  

ajw720 I needed to laugh this morning, thank you nonnie.(I would imagine you need to laugh a hell of a lot more than you do Abby)  You people really don’t get it (Oh lord).  Also, it isn’t JUST the ring (which is very suspicious especially as he deliberately takes it off at random times, there one minute gone the next) (Here abby argues it isn’t the ring.... except it is the ring) , it is as @cassie1022 pointed out, no officiant (LIE) , weird wedding algorithm (the fact that Abby truly believes there was a guest algorithm says everything there is to say about Abby’s judgment and the cc nonsense)  is FAMILY HONEYMOON (a joke)  constant babysitters (LIE) d’s complete lack of enthusiasm (he practically said he was bored and realized at the last moment that that was bad) (Desperate Abby, you're so desperate) , talked about pooping exes as opposed to how life changed with his bride (and you don’t get that this is was keep from speaking about his personal life? How long have you been a fan? Joking about something to distract from having to answer something private is spot-on Darren), speaks more passionately about his jacket then his wedding (we done got hitched) (This means nothing Abby...NOTHING. He wrote a boring post about his jacket and you’ve been losing your shit over it ever since. IT meant nothing...it was a coat he wore to an event. You only like it because he was boring and serious. It was the farthest thing from Darren I’ve ever read.), announced the engagement using a reference to the wrong freaking franchise (I can’t...this is one of your dumbest arguments out of a lot of arguments. It was a JOKE Abby, a joke.  He used the franchise that made the joke funny. Darren doesnt’ own a franchise)   , FIVE FUCKING encagement rings (LIE), the last of which is an advertisement that she is paid to wear and they haven’t even tried to hide this fact (LIE), utter lack of chemistry (again desperate Abby) , the weirdness with his non-relationship but clear friendship of sorts with his ex co-star (It’s not “weirdness” it’s a nonrelationship-you said it yourself). , the way she is promoted that is beyond excessive for someone who isn’t famous (This entire rant is unhinged. Nobody is promoting her, he’s living his life with her.  Like we expect he would with his wife. There is nothing untoward with their behavior together.  The fact that you have to label it “promotion” says that it worries you a lot). the fact that the sold their entire wedding to about 100 sponsors )(LIE) (I am sure there are more than we even realize), the clear references to fandom at the sham mockery (OMG Abby, give it up. Nobody cares about you), and that this allegedly private couple also released 85% of their wedding for public consumption (They released 27 photos. That is HARDLY 85% of their wedding. You saw a lot of the same photos posted by their friends and it upset you but they didn’t release 85% of their wedding. It was a 4-day event and the wedding events started at around 3 pm and lasted until after midnight -27 is not 85% of 10-ish hours of celebration).  

If it was ONLY that he randomly took his ring off depending on how the wind is blowing, fine, that is evidence alone of nothing.  All of these things, and hundred and hundreds of other facts (which are ALL LIES). (inconsistent timelines (Darren doesn’t owe you a “consistent timeline” that’s asinine)   they don’t know where they met each other RC handshakes (You know that isn’t a handshake- they were photographed together right before the “handshake’ you won’t let go of and he’s heard introducing her as his girlfriend ), D running from her every moment he can, etc, etc)(Whatever you tell yourself to sleep at night), are clear evidence it is fake that is beyond a reasonable doubt (Bwahahahahaha you are conning yourself Abby) .  Him kissing her in her bar is his job.  I suggest nonnie you pay attention to the details (Which ones- your lies or the real details?) And please pay attention to the captain, he hasn’t even been subtle lately, he has been fairly blatant (Le sigh, he isn’t the captain.  He’s a dude who loves his boyfriend Will and writes children’s books that are not cc Bibles) .

Happy Thanksgiving Nonnie!  I hope you can tear yourself away from reading blogs you disagree with long enough to enjoy your friends and family! Cheers!

notes-from-nowhere What love are you talking about, anon? M doesn’t love D and she makes this clear every chance she get (LIE- there is nothing that suggests MIa isn’t in love with Darren). Do I have to remind you how she denied to D’s mom one red carpet to celebrate her son? (LIE Abby fabricated)  Or to D’s dad to be honored for his military past?(another LIE Abby fabricated)  But why listing all of her actions when you know very well this is only the surface.

Btw, I still have to know a singer/actor lost a finger because of a wedding band. Anon, try again, this attempt failed. (SMH)

leka-1998 You know what I like about this instance in particular? Apart from the fact that the ring isn’t off the whole time, he’s still wearing the other one here.

After 284719 years, she should also know what the language D’s mom speaks is called. Seems she doesn’t care enough. (Another LIE that Abby fabricated) 

Also, former platonic roomie says hello. (LIE) 

ajw720

They still can’t explain away B/enny, the man D just praised for his new album yet D hasn’t even mentioned his brother’s (I can’t explain it but it has nothing to do with Darren and Mia.  You’re the one making it a problem) .  The man that mocked fandom on his IG by referring to M/oulin R/ouge when posting about the fraud in NOLA (Nobody-especially Ben Hudson- gives a shit about fandom Abby. You’re a nobody)  The man who seemingly officiated the wedding (Again a LIE)  And the one who appears to have a dog (yes he does, he lives with his girlfriend, Joanna, and their two dogs) . Hey remember just a few weeks ago when PBB dropped her teeth in the dog’s bowl? Funny as we know she and D don’t have a dog (Nope, they clearly don’t- stop trying so hard).…

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Yay! Prompts are open!! Alpha Bucky and omega Tony au where traditional courting means that gifts are anonymously presented but the suitor will be rejected if three gifts are deemed unsuitable by the omega. Cue Bucky panicking because Stark has already rejected two of his gifts.

A/N: I hope this is what you’re looking for, anon. I went for angst, here. I also really love Nat being BFFs with Tony and/or Bucky and being protective of her idiot boys. Please ignore the gaping plot holes that a) Tony doesn't figure out it's one of the Avengers by virtue of security keeping other people from their floor b) Bucky could use the internet to look up modern courtship rituals. Or things about Tony. Sorry about the continually switching POV, I need to work on that.

Perfect Infinite Moments

Tony opened the first gift and stiffened. A gun? Who would be so tasteless? So... He swallowed. He left the gift where it was, an uncomfortable leaden weight in his stomach. He would never be that person again.

--

Bucky watched as the omega looked like he would throw up. He wanted to throw up. What had gone wrong? Maybe things were very different now? In the 40s, giving an omega a weapon was telling them that you trusted them not to hurt you, and that you believed they could take care of themselves. At least, that was what it was supposed to mean. There were a lot of traditional gifts to choose from, and not a lot of alphas picked that one, uncomfortable with the thought of a weapon in their omega’s hands. Bucky, though, he thought it was a beautiful gift.

It was especially important to him now that Tony know that Bucky knew he could protect himself, especially from Bucky. He still had some violent nightmares, and the Winter Solider was always a potential problem.

Dejected, he walked away. He would do better.

--

Tony had never been properly courted before. Sure, there had been trinkets and jewelry and small presents from alphas and betas that he had been dating, but no one had ever courted him. He knew the process, of course, everyone did. Three anonymous presents. Three chances for the alpha to prove themselves a worthy mate without preconceptions about the person coloring the gifts.

He had hoped-

Well, he was an old, worn-out omega. Maybe he wasn't worth the effort.

Sighing, he shoved the thought away and pulled up a project. Bucky’s body armor needed upgrading.

--

It had taken the better part of two weeks but Bucky had finally decided on a second gift. Carefully wrapping it up, he enlisted JARVIS to get the second present in the kitchen right before the genius omega would enter. Crossing his fingers, he waited, unseen. This would be a much better gift.

When all the blood drained out of Tony’s face, a panicked scent coming from him, he knew he had fucked up again.

(Watch out for the break!)

--

Tony looked at the gift in surprise. A second gift? Who would go to the effort after he had turned them down the first time? Setting his coffee cup down, he carefully opened the present.

When he caught sight of what was inside the box, he could feel the blood drain from his face. A camera.

Hazy memories of people asking him if they could take pictures, recordings. No he had said. No no no.

The next day the recordings were on the internet. He had faked a smile and owned it. What other choice did he have?

But a camera as a gift? There might be another reason for it but his panicking mind wouldn’t latch onto anything but that. Hurriedly, he slammed the flaps of the box shut with shaking hands and very deliberately picked up his coffee mug. Refilling it, he walked out the door directly to his workshop.

--

“What did I do wrong?” He flopped down into the couch dramatically.

Natasha paused the TV. “With your courting presents?”

Bucky looked up, startled. “How did you know?”

Natasha gave him a smug look.

“Right.”

“What did you get him?”

Bucky rolled over into his back and laid his head on the other alpha’s thigh. “I got him a camera!”

Natasha hummed, thinking about what she knew about the genius, idly petting Bucky’s head.

JARVIS interrupted. “If I may, Miss Romanov, Mr. Barnes.” He sounded a little colder than normal.

Bucky made a gesture with his hand.

“There were recordings of a sexual nature released to the media without his consent.”

Bucky sat up straight, dislodging her hand. “What?”

Natasha closed her eyes. Of course. How could she have forgotten that? It had caused a huge media scandal, but Tony had come out of it smelling like roses.

Sometimes the innocent scent covered darker things, though.

Bucky’s voice dropped an octave. “What?”

Natasha rounded on him. “If you're thinking of giving up-”

“I want to kill those people!” Bucky said, dangerously.

Paradoxically, Natasha relaxed, urging him to lay back down. “They are.”

“Are what?” Resisting, Bucky peered at Natasha. His eyes were nearly black with rage, and it the angry scent was pouring off him.

“Dead.” JARVIS said. His voice was much warmer than it had been before, but still angry. Bucky still marvelled every day that a computer program was so human. It was so... science fiction.

Bucky relaxed, the anger scent pulling back. Laying back down, he looked at the ceiling. “Is that what he thought, JARVIS?”

JARVIS hesitated. “He hasn't said so specifically.”

“So yes.”

Natasha deliberately projected a calming scent. It didn't work as well as a calming scent from an omega, but it helped calm Bucky down. She thought that the slightly proud tone from JARVIS when he had said ‘dead’ helped more. “What did you mean it to be?”

“Past, present, and future.”

Natasha sighed noisily. “Of course you did, you moron.”

“Hey!”

Natasha patted Bucky’s head. “So what else did you get him?”

Bucky closed his eyes. “A gun.”

Natasha shoved Bucky into a sitting position. “A gun?” she sounded frantic. Natasha never sounded frantic. Not even facing down hundreds of murderous aliens and a nuclear bomb.

Bucky frowned, very confused. “Yes?”

Natasha took a deep breath. “You gave Tony Stark, the person who was called the Merchant of Death for years, who spent three months in a cave being tortured in an attempt to coerce him to make weapons, the person whose godfather tried to have him assassinated in that cave and then tried to steal his company from him for shutting down the weapons manufacturing, you gave that man a gun?” Natasha’s voice rose higher and higher with every word.

Bucky couldn't breathe. “I did what?” his voice was so weak she could barely hear him. The words ‘assassination�� and ‘tortured’ and ‘merchant of death’ ringing in his ears.

“You idiot.” She started cursing in Russian, and a few other languages.

He didn't understand the magnitude of how much he fucked up, but Natasha’s anger clued him in that it was a lot. “Just kill me,” he begged.

“That can be arranged,” she said darkly. “You absolute idiot,” she continued. “What are you going to do?”

“Do? I'm going to throw myself on his mercy that's what I'm going to do!”

“Absolutely not!”

Surprised by her vehemence, he looked up at her. “I'm not?”

“No. You’re going to finish out the courtship, and if he declines then you throw yourself on his mercy.”

Squeezing his eyes shut, he prayed for a lightning bolt to strike him dead. “Then what am I going to do?”

“You're going to give him an amazing gift. And it's going to be both a final courtship offer and an apology.” Sighing, she settled back down, tired. Even a minor alpha rage tired her out. These boys, they were so stupid. “What did you mean the gun to be?”

Bucky colored. “In... you know. The forties-”

“Oh Bucky.”

“Yeah I gathered it was a bad idea!” He snapped. “Sorry, just. Courting has changed so much.”

Natasha made a ‘go on’ gesture, a kernel of sympathy warring with her annoyance.

“It meant that I trusted them, to take care of themselves, that they didn't need me but chose me and allowed me to protect them. It..seemed fitting. He’s Iron Man. He can kick anyone’s ass, he's doesn't need an alpha to stand in front of him, but if he had accepted, he was allowing me to. At least, sometimes.”

It was sweet, Natasha thought. His gifts were well-thought out - for anyone but Tony Stark and his mountain of issues.

“Make him food.” She decided. She would see these two idiot boys together if it was the last thing she did.

“What?”

“Show him that you don't expect him to change anything about himself. He's afraid that an alpha would demand him to be a stereotypical omega. Barefoot, pregnant, staying behind and tending home. Make him a home-cooked meal.” She repeated. “Clean something for him. Unobtrusively. Get JARVIS to help you.”

“Having listened to this conversation, I would be more than happy to allow Mr. Barnes to further his courtship. I cannot promise him entrance to Sir’s private rooms but I can direct you to things that Sir might leave a mess and would have to clean up later,” JARVIS replied promptly.

“I'm so sorry, JARVIS.”

“I understand,” JARVIS said gently.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Certainly.”

“What... what meal or meals would he like?”

“Sir does not have particularly strong favorites. He does, however, has a fondness for pasta, of course, and chicken dishes.”

“Allergies?”

“Mint,” JARVIS replied.

Bucky shoved himself to his feet. “Well, I guess I'll go look up some recipes. And extravagant apology speeches.” He paused before leaving the room, and kissed Natasha on the head. “Thanks, Tasha.”

“Anytime. I love you both.” She gripped his hand. “Don't break his heart.”

Buck gave her hand a squeeze. “I'd rather rip mine out.”

--

Tony found a plate of chicken alfredo on his work table. He looked at it, a little confused, before shrugging. He was hungry. Taking a first bite, he almost cried. It was entirely homemade, sauce and pasta. He favored every bite, ignoring the to-do list behind him. Amazing pasta deserved his attention, even mysteriously appearing delicious pasta.

Three days later he trudged up to the library, intending to re-shelve the many books he had pulled out haphazardly yesterday and left strewn about. He was fairly certain there were pens and paper and small electronic components left around the books as well. He stopped dead in the door to the library. There were no books on the floor, and all the papers, pens, and components were neatly organized on the small table. “JARVIS?”

“Sir?”

“Am I hallucinating? Didn't I leave a mess here yesterday?”

“You did, yes Sir.”

Narrowing his eyes, he looked around the room as if someone was going to jump out and yell ‘gotcha’, but no one did. The scents in the room were a pleasing mix of all the Avengers, and he couldn't tell who had cleaned up after him. Gathering up the paper and electronics, he took them back downstairs to his workshop.

Over the next few weeks, he had been plied with several home-cooked meals, and had gone to clean up a mess he had made four times only to find the area as neat as a pin.

He wasn't sure what was going on.

Then he saw the wrapped box. His stomach knotted, especially after the past two offers.

He approached it as if it were a bomb, and carefully opened it. He wasn't sure if he was dreading this or pleased his suitor had continued on.

The box was very light. When he opened it, there was a single sheet of paper in it.

I want you exactly as you are. I don't need you to change anything about yourself. I trust you, and I want a past, present, and future with you.

The meals and cleaning up after him made so much more sense now.

A note was cheating, bending the rules a little bit, but when had Tony Stark ever listened to the rules?

Of course, people said that he didn't need to change and then had to deal with the full force of his personality, but it was a nice sentiment.

But... those other gifts. Rationally, he thought the camera most likely had nothing to do with the sex tapes. The gun, though, he couldn't think of a single reason as to why his anonymous suitor would have gifted him that.

Sighing, he looked at the sheet of paper again. I want you exactly as you are. Maybe he was naive, but that was just what he wanted. Someone who didn't want him to change.

He took the letter with him.

--

Tony closed the box, and wrapped it. “What do you think, JARVIS?”

“I think they'll be pleased, Sir.”

Suspicious, he shook a finger. “You know who they are!”

“Of course, Sir.”

Tony laughed. “Well, you haven't murdered them, so I guess that's a point in their column.” He looked back down at the wrapped box. “Well, let's go.”

He took the box up to the kitchen, and set it on the counter. He fidgeted around, opening doors and drawers, before finally making himself coffee and settling into the living room to not watch the movie playing on the TV.

--

There was a box in the kitchen. For him. He took a deep breath, then another.

Quietly, he picked it up and opened it. There was an Iron Man helmet in the box.

“That's who I am,” said a quiet voice behind him.

Bucky whirled, his heart pounding. He hadn't heard or smelled Tony come up behind him.

“I know.”

Those dark eyes regarded him. “Do you?”

“Yes.”

Tony watched him for a long time before finally speaking again. “The camera?”

“Past, present, and future,” Bucky replied promptly.

Tony nodded, but his eyes were still guarded. His scent was still wary. “And the gun.” It wasn’t a question.

Bucky winced. “I'm sorry.”

“Why?”

“In the- it's was meant to-” frustrated, Bucky shoved a hand through his hair. “That I trust you. You don't need me, you're choosing me. I didn't know, I'm so sorry.”

Tony’s scent relaxed a little bit, but he still looked wary.

Bucky wanted to cross the room and gather him into a hug, but didn't know if he would be welcome. “I'm so, so sorry,” he stressed. “I would never.”

Tony nodded, his posture relaxing finally. “You couldn't have known. I mean, you could have, maybe, but not really.”

“Still, I hurt you.” It was like a stone in his gut.

It was Tony who crossed the room to Bucky. He took Bucky’s hand.

“Yes, but you apologized. It's alright,” the omega said soothingly. “We’ll have to talk more, but it's okay, Bucky.” He gestured toward the box. “I accept, if you couldn't tell.”

A burst of warmth filled Bucky’s stomach. “Even though I fucked up big time..”

Tony’s smile filled his face. “We all fuck up. What matters is that we make up for it and continue working forward.”

There was a moment of hesitation, then Bucky swayed forward. “I'm going to kiss you. Is that okay?”

“Please!”

The scent of happy omega and happy alpha filled the room. This was only the beginning, a fragile beginning, but for right now, for this infinite moment, they were both perfectly happy.

Natasha walked into the room then turned right back around. Normally she would tease the kissing couple, but it was too early in their relationship for that. She would go bother Clint for coffee.

~Marie

[janiedean]

direwolfpupy

https://direwolfpupy.tumblr.com/post/165119300407/incblackbird-nederys-lordhellebore the discourse that your pals started, NOT tagged thramsay..... where incblackbird & nederys were so awful i had a panic attack at work. so like... lol i don't care about them they trigger themselves by continuing to defend their homophobic torture porn.

direwolfpupy

i didn't even know she existed before she jumped down my throat for NOTHING. why should i care about her now? none of you guys showed me any care in that hideous debacle. why should my friends care about what you think AT ALL. i mean, even lordhellborne agreed that incblackbird was in the wrong. yet no apology, just more and more terrible shit. i specifically didn't use the name thramsay so it didnt' show up i n anyones tag on mobile. and yet she starts her post bitchily

direwolfpupy

telling me how to spell their ship name, wrongly. given the amount of bullshit that follows it, that's some funny shit. your friends write homophobic torture porn to cope. i turn people who were awful to me into  memes to cope.

replying to everything here bc like hell I have patience to do all of them one by one.

1) my pals didn’t start any fucking discourse. a) you go and call thramsay shippers satan IN A POST PEOPLE COULD SEE, b) your friend tagged both anti posts THEON GREYJOY and they SHOWED UP IN THE GODDAMNED TAG. if you had done that in private or WITHOUT IT ENDING ON THE THEON TAG nothing would have happened. your pal apologized. consider following.

2) if you think you’re gonna guilt trip me think back on it. any shit I could give about your guilt tripping went out of the window when you purposefully lied and accused me of condoning child porn including real people, which I did not do in any way shape or form, and that’s slandering and harassment, and you can bet your ass I’m not dropping my report on you. actions = consequences. if you work you’re old enough to know that. and I’ve gotten guilt tripped by too many people in my life to let you do that to me when I’m fucking almost thirty. grow. up.

3) ‘I don’t care about them triggering themselves’ so excuse me why the hell should they care about you? no, why? if you don’t give them basic decency you won’t get it. and it’s not homophobic. THEON IS NOT GAY AND NEITHER IS RAMSAY. stop mixing politics and fandom. honestly. it’s bad for you.

4) i didn't even know she existed before she jumped down my throat for NOTHING. > she didn’t jump down your throat, SHE ASKED YOU TO NOT GO AFTER THRAMSAY SHIPPERS. which you did so well you went in public saying that you and your friends were laughing in a chat group about triggering people.

do I have to add anything? ps: I have receipts and I screenshotted everything.

5)  even lordhellbore agreed that incblackbird was in the wrong. yet no apology, just more and more terrible shit. i specifically didn't use the name thramsay so it didnt' show up i n anyones tag on mobile. and yet she starts her post bitchily >>> I don’t see why the fuck merel owes you an apology when the fanart post was made especially to bait her and it was said openly. re the rest, @lordhellebore showed me the post you meant WHICH IS FROM ANOTHER DISCOURSE FROM A MONTH AGO AND NOT THIS OCCASION wow nice to spin it the way you want, huh? also merel sure as hell didn’t do anything other than replying to you but oh, I SPENT THE ENTIRE LAST TWO DAYS SEEING YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS OPENLY TRASHING HER MAKING NAMES. like the proper mean girls clique you are. how amazing!

and yet she starts her post bitchily telling me how to spell their ship name

aaaaaah yeah she probably didn’t tell you because she doesn’t owe it to you but she said I could say it so: SHE’S DYSLEXIC, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, and she probably also wasn’t too hyped at being shamed at all over again, it can happen that someone dyslexic misspells something and what do you do?

suddenly she gets FIVE anon asks with that sentence c/p-ed.

five.

and you are the bigger person when either you or your anon friends go in the askbox of someone dyslexic making fun of them for misspelling?

lol.

I’m keeping my mouth shut re the rest when it comes to how fucking out of line y’all have been because it’s not my place to say it but just let me tell you: you were so out of line you can’t even imagine it and if you knew you’d really feel bad about it. but like, hey, what’s with being assholes to people online? *shrug* they can’t suffer same as you, huh?

your friends write homophobic torture porn to cope. i turn people who were awful to me into  memes to cope.

never mind that thramsay isn’t homophobic but I’ve explained this shit to hell and back and if you don’t get it you never will, but my friends cope with fake thing happening to fake fictional people, you cope by turning REAL PEOPLE into memes? the person your friend said got turned into a meme in your group talk wasn’t even awful to you, they were explaining you something, and it’s really fucking shitty to do that.

and if anything, IT’S SHITTY TO TELL THOSE PEOPLE YOU’RE DOING THAT. do you realize how fucking out of line it is? especially when those people also *cope*, and btw the person referenced above doesn’t even fucking write torture porn?

fuck’s sake, I superimpose a specific dude on ronnet connington every time I write about jaime punching him in the face, I don’t go tell random men online that they’re all sexist assholes at the first chance in order to cope with the fact that that asshole ruined my self-perception of my own image.

but keep on telling yourself you’re morally better.

ps: i’m still reporting you for the pedophilia thing and I sure as hell hope that the staff gives you at least a fair warning.

and by the way, guilt tripping? I spent a day feeling like shit because y’all made me feel like I was back in middle school except you were putting my friends through the shit I was put in that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, not even you, so can it with trying to making me feel bad because I’ve been done with that shit a long time ago and I won’t.

[adriftanchor]

Hello! i am also a bi ahmadi muslim and i have a question and i don’t know who to ask bc i don’t want to get into trouble,, i don’t expect you to know how to answer but just in case i am still going to reach out. is it ok at all that i’m bi? from the friday sermons and my family and everything i even know about this religion, i feel like i shouldn’t be this way, or i’m not really ahmadi. i’m sorry if i’m bothering you, feel free to ignore this message if you want!!!

holy crow i just saw this hello!! im so sorry, im not used to getting messages LOL. I hope you didn’t send this too long ago ((plz feel free to msg me off anon we can bond and all that!! us lgbt ahmadis need to stick together :D)). 

truthfully honey, i don’t have any easy answers. on one hand there’s what the jamaat has said in recent years re: the LGBT community, which we both know and which really hurts tbh. BUT it doesn’t sit quite right with everything else we’re taught- it really doesn’t make sense that Allah would create an entire kind of people just to send them to hell?? that implies that humans don’t really have free choice? lgbt+ people don’t exist just to spite Allah, despite what everyone else says!! it’s okay to feel this way- clearly if we feel this way even after years of homophobic conditioning being surrounded by people who are against lgbt people in the jammat then it’s real, not learned or something we’re choosing to do to rebel or anything, haha. and it’s not just about sex or pleasure, either?? it’s love and family and commitment as well as attraction, and isn’t that an emotion that Allah would prefer over violence or hatred? 

also to be perfectly clear i don’t think its fair at ALL for people to say our sexuality is a test from God. God tests us, but He doesn’t seem to test other people with something that’s a part of who they are, so why do we get this??

plus, the biggest thing in Islam no matter what sect is that Allah is merciful, you know? He’s loving and even if you don’t follow Islam to a T it’s the intention that matters!! so i imagine a bi muslim who tries to be a good person and practices their faith in that way would be WAY more likely to go to heaven than a cishet muslim who acts virtuous but really is a bad person (and I know PLENTY of ahmadis who are that way lmao). 

my dad put it best this way, i think: Allah’s love and mercy is kind of like how a parent loves their kid. Obviously if the kid isn’t exactly what He told them to be (religious, even non-Muslim, etc) he might not be pleased but he’s not going to disown you, either, because you’re essentially good even if other people tell you you’re not faithful or whatever bc u don’t follow all of scripture/cultural tradition. people use religion to justify their bias and harmful traditions, as we know way too well. if you try to b a virtuous person who does good deeds and tries not to hurt others, you’re not gonna go to hell no matter your religion (at least thats what my dad says, and it makes me feel good at least haha). and besides, Allah is the final say, not people on earth- so on this count i’m going to ignore what people say and just trust that God wouldn’t put us on earth and not give us a chance to go to heaven.

also i know people quote lut for when they want to say “lulz the homos got killed by allah for sodomy” but tbh that’s not 100% true?? like the men were cheating on their wives with the other men (aka adultery) and were like horrible people besides (rapists, robbers, etc) so it’s confounding variables??? they did lots of bad stuff sodomy might only be cited bc of the adultery aspect (and is sodomy even mentioned??). plus if sodomy makes u go to hell what about wlw couples? and straight couples who are into butt stuff??? 

i know this answer is very very disjointed and not that clear aaahh but tl;dr being bi and ahmadi isn’t bad, in my opinion!! i really don’t think sexuality is a sin, like, it makes no sense! like i said, your intentions matter more!!! you are ahmadi, you are bi, and we exist with both of those identities. i don’t think anyone can come up to us, see our struggle and internalized homophobia and genuine guilt over something we feel, and tell us we’re gonna burn in hell if we choose to accept ourselves??? 

and the question of if we fall in love with the same gender- that might be a test from God- not the falling in love part!! but dealing with any hatred and anger from our families with grace and humility, understanding and consistent love. i think about that a lot, and that seems like the difficult part, aside from accepting who you are. if i fall in love with another girl and want to marry her while also maintaining a connection towards my family (and family is p important in islam) that would be the test from god, not the fact of loving a girl itself. you’re not breaking the family apart, their anger and poor reaction would be pushing you away from them. 

i know @lesbianganondorf has a good lgbt+ muslim post and there’s another one floating around on tumblr but i don’t remember who posted it!! check back today and i’ll post the links for you ((i’ll tag it ahnon or smthn equally punny)). ily i promise allah does too and -

((sorry for the humor i can’t be serious for more than 5 seconds))

you don’t have to reply off anon if it scares you (i get scared to wear my best bi shirt in public even tho i live in nyc where literally nobody will comment probably), but please answer me and tell me if this helped!! and if u have any more questions plz ask, im gonna be checking my inbox daily now haha