#and also a way of letting interested persons know that i've been quiet but active nonetheless

[sisterdivinium]

Yesterday I reached page 44 of the "teenagers AU" story (I need to stop calling it that because there's more to it than just adolescence...) and, as I've been writing it in a notebook which contains most of my other longer fics and which is almost full, I flipped through those hundreds of pages on a whim once I was done with my writing session.

It was then that I found a little doodle of teenage!Jillian and Suzanne that I had done when first I tried to write this story... Exactly one year ago.

Originally it was set to be a oneshot, a single scene of youthful silliness in a continuity where both of them would have known one another before the show's events (there was also an idea of changing a few things more -- I had considered making Vincent into Suzanne's brother, for instance). It fought me all the way, however, so I let it rest and worked on other things and now... Now here we are, at page 44 and counting, lol, as I alter bits and pieces of canon so that, yes, our two ladies might have a shared (fan)fictional past together at last. Funny how things go.

[joocomics]

Yo! How'd you know i love the moon?! Haha 🌙 anon fits perfectly, thank you 🫶🏻 I love reading your work, unknowingly you've piqued my interest in Xdinary Heroes too 😆 Love their latest music, will definitely be checking out more. You write beautifully for them too 👌

Anyway, I've come to contribute a thought to your Keeho writings (hopefully). I've been thinking about how Keeho is funny and all, sure, but he's also so introspective and well spoken. Very mature, maybe because he's the leader. So I was thinking of him in a sort of ... Calm Boyfriend x Golden Retriever Girlfriend dynamic. Admittedly I'm not the most girly or cutesy 🥹 So sometimes I daydream about Keeho with a S/O that's a little bit tomboyish, golden retriever-ish, but is also just as sensitive and thoughtful as he is. So much that it makes him look like the calm and quiet one between the two 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ Very self indulgent I must admit...

I would love to hear your thoughts 👀 be it soft and/or hard thoughts ☺️

Have a good weekend! I'm almost done with my readings for uni so you can 100% expect me to drop by more often soon.

- 🌙

i can see him in such relationship! since his field of work can be often overwhelming he would like to have a person in his life that would take his mind off of things and would allow him to tone down his personality in a way; someone who can be fun and playful around him, and not mind it if he’s enjoying their company in silence…

calm bf!keeho would let his golden retriever!gf take him anywhere, anytime… every time you share about a place you’re interested in going to, he plans it right away. doesn’t matter if it’s a restaurant, a trip or any other activity he always makes sure to make it happen because he loves how excited you get whenever you get the chance to explore new things and places. you bring him new experiences and he appreciates that.

during trips you often walk ahead of him with a wide smile on your face, pointing at different cool spots to see and he nods reminding you to watch where you’re going cause it’s crowded. if you’re in a different town or country you haven’t been before he frequently has to pull you towards him by your hoodie or by gripping your backpack when you get too excited cause he’s on edge you may slip away from him.

his friends absolutely love you. some of them may even tease him about how such an ordinary guy like him managed to impress such a fun girl like you. whenever you hang out together keeho always lets you tell all about your trips without feeling the need to join you. he has good skills when it comes to storytelling, but the way you get along so well with his friends makes him really happy, and he doesn’t mind when you’re in the spotlight. he actually really likes it, and has more fun listening to your enthusiasm ringing in the room.

calm bf!keeho with a golden retriever!gf results into lots of skinship… although none of you say it both of you are secretly suckers for the way you always end up touching each other no matter what you’re up to. you like the way his hand always finds yours as you’re out and about - he intertwines your fingers together and you swing your hands back and forth; he loves when you cling onto his arm in the elevator that always makes him pat you on the head; or when you follow him around, wrapping arms around his body from behind while he’s doing something.

༻ nsfw

make out sessions often have banter in the most passionate way which turns the foreplay into one long edging. personally, i see keeho as a switch, he prefers to go with the flow when it comes to sex, and this applies here too. sometimes he dominates, sometimes not so much, one thing that’s for sure is that he loves receiving body worship until he’s left in all kinds of marks.

in bed, i see him really enjoying it when you take your time teasing him. he doesn’t need to admit it cause it’s written all over his face, and the way his body succumbs under your touch says enough. biting, scratching, marking - he stays still with eyes shut in bliss, letting you use him like he’s your toy. your playfulness in addition to your confidence always turns him on, and seeing your lustful smile as you kneel in the middle of unzipping his pants is enough to get him leaking. he slides two fingers into your mouth and takes them out with a smirk after realising you’re already drooling for him. even if you didn’t have oral fixation before you will end up having one after dating him cause he loves having your mouth on him 24/7…

a/n: i’m happy to hear you like ur emoji AND xh! <3 they’re amazing and deserve all the love. tysm for the kind words omg 🫶🏼 i really hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts, it’s my first time writing this dynamic and i’m a bit nervous if it turned out well. i don’t mind talking about it more tho cause i can really see keeho with a s/o like this, it fits him a lot ~ and most importantly, we’re here to indulge in our own fantasies!!

hope you’re having a nice week <3

[drdemonprince]

do you have tips for distracting yourself from thoughts you don't want to have?

As we all know intellectual repression does not work, so I try thinking of a problem that I actually do want to solve rather than worrying about a hypothetical problem that doesn't exist yet or one that cannot be solved.

Like so: "okay, let's stop worrying about this writing project that I am not able to work on right now because I'm not even near a fucking computer, and instead let's worry about making a shopping list and a meal plan for this whole week of groceries."

Or: "Okay, I'm not gonna be able to fix the guilt over my role my dad's death at the moment, so let's think about when I am going to hang out with XYZ person I've been meaning to see for a while, and what I could invite that person to go do."

I also try throwing my brain a challenging problem or intellectual exercise related to a topic that I am interested in, or reading about. Like so:

"Okay, I'm worrying a lot about the future of my job, but that isn't helpful right now, because I don't even know who my new boss is gonna be yet and I won't for another year. But here's something I do want to think deeply about: I am reading this very interesting book by Freddy deBoer right now about how the left fails to build large enough coalitions to achieve real political power, and he makes some fair points, but doesn't that concern of his seem to contradict his earlier point about how the neurodiversity movement is too large of a movement and too big of a tent, with not enough focus on those with really high support needs who hate their mental illness? I wonder what Freddy would say to that question?"

And then I'll spend a good long while pondering that question.

Another way that I cope with intrusive negative thoughts is to ask myself if a line of obsessive thinking or worry is going to bring me closer to the kind of person I want to be. And if it won't, what is something that I could be thinking about that might help me better embody that person.

So if I'm reenacting a fight with my mom over and over again in my head, I might notice this, and tell myself: hey. This thing we are thinking about is only making us a more angry and resentful person, which we don't need any more practice on. We are already good at being angry and resentful. Where do we actually need to grow? Oh! I remember, I wanted to start doing more volunteer work. I'll spend the duration of this bus ride looking up some local mutual aid groups and putting their events in my calendar. And so on.

I really think of using my brain as a form of exercise, if you'll excuse me for sounding a bit sigma male -- everything we think about, we get better at thinking about. Every thought process we engage in with our brains, we make more reflexive and natural-seeming for us. So if I want to be a more compassionate person, I can just sit and think about people in a compassionate light to slowly expand that skill. I'm bored of my own misanthropy, anxious worrying, fault-finding, and work-related stress at this point. Rather than telling myself to stop thinking about those things, I try offering my brain something else to exercise with.

Another thing I'll do is just turn on a podcast that will keep my mind engaged. True Anon, Trillbilly Worker's Party, Anime Sickos are all favorites. Sometimes that's enough to quiet down the noise, especially if paired with a vigorous activity like cleaning or a long walk.

[very-normal-abt-this]

Analysis of Crowley's and Aziraphale's "love languages."

A lot people are familiar with the concept of "Love Languages" these days. It originally comes from a book by Dr. Gary Chapman "The 5 Love Languages: A Secret to Love That Lasts." 

The book posits that there are several different patterns of behavior that a person can engage in, in order to express affection.  And, by the same token, there are different patterns of behavior that a person tends to interpret as being "loving" towards them.

The 5 Identified Love Languages are:

Words of Affirmation  - expressing affection verbally, such as through compliments, statements of appreciation, reassurance, or love.

Acts of Service - expressing affection by doing things FOR our loved ones, when they ask for it OR when they don't ask for it (i.e. anticipating what they might need). Things like, letting your partner borrow your special car for a road trip, and then house sitting his residence and needy puppy. Or, tidying your partner's house after a big party, whilst he is out having coffee with some douche.

Gifts - expressing affection by purchasing things for our loved ones, or giving surprise gifts. Perhaps being very thoughtful in considering what objects they might want or need. 

Quality Time - expressing affection by giving loved ones our undivided attention, and engaging in interactive activities with them. Going out to dinner, going on walks to the park, or just having quiet 1-1 time.

Physical Touch - Expressing affection by touching a loved one's body with your own body (consensually of course). There is a wide spectrum of these behaviors (platonic, parental/familial, romantic, sexual). E.g. lightly guiding someone with your hand on the small of their back as you walk together, patting their back/shoulder, dancing together, sitting in close proximity on purpose so that your bodies touch, hugging/kissing, and so on.

As you can probably deduce from the examples I've included above, in my opinion Aziraphale's preferred love languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Physical touch.  And Crowley's preferred love languages are: Quality Time and Acts of Service. And yet, Crowley was the one who initiated the biggest Physical Touch of their relationship. I will address that in a separate post!

Crowley and Aziraphale both share the Quality Time category, which makes sense. Time has been an unlimited resource for them, and they certainly enjoy making their time together "Quality." They give each other undivided attention; they do relaxing and interesting activities together. In addition, they have often attended significant and memorable events together (whether by coincidence or not)

It is also sweet that both of the Ineffable Husbands have picked up on each other's love languages. Aziraphale has noticed Crowley's acts of service language, which is why he says: "Rescuing me makes him so happy." 

And, Aziraphale is cautious about giving Crowley compliments - he knows it is not the way Crowley prefers to receive affection. Aziraphale also engages in acts of service for Crowley, such as by offering to do the magic show in 1941, and by bringing him holy water.

In turn, Crowley knows how important words of affirmation are to Aziraphale, which is why he says things like "Doing good again, Angel?" Or "Good Job" - when Aziraphale calls him from Edinburgh.

Crowley also knows that physical touch is important to Aziraphale, which is why he never rejects physical touch overtures initiated by the angel (And….physical touch might be Crowley's 3rd secret love language, but he has been too cautious to act upon it!)

If you think of other examples of their love languages, please write a comment!

[laylawatermelon]

Buddie: it's The Way It's Played

Aka don't hate the player hate the game or whatever.

(i promise the is Buddie at the halfway point if you just want meta)

I woke up pondering about edy's comments and found it a bit funny and ironic because she probably doesn't know just like we don't know.

Oliver recently talked about how he wasn't heavily involved in this upcoming episode 2 so he'll be getting to watch it for the first time with us.

It's the same case with her. In her eyes she does her few scenes and goes home.

In her head she is the chosen love interest and she is indeed being asked to come back.

The second half of the season hasn't publicly been announced (or fully filmed I assume) so she's just as oblivious as we are.

What I will say is that celebrities should know to not be in the spaces of fandom and don't get heavily involved.

Especially with shippers.

As a fangirl I have always been protective, I would say, over my stuff but I made like a rule that I don't reply or have online arguments.

(mostly because i get riled up easily in real life and it's dangerous imagine doing it with a complete stranger or a mob of them if we're being fr because there's never just one person arguing with you.)

It's likely millions or billions 🙃

Also as a fangirl, I don't mind shipping or not shipping.

Do what you want, I don't care.

I grew up in the good ole don't like scroll away time.

What I'm getting at is that some people are more comfortable on online spaces. Some are more quiet (like me) but they're there.

I've recently become disillusioned slowly over the years of Hollywood ( all the woods honestly) glamour so when they are shown or said to be bad people I treat them as such.

Cause they're that.

People.

Who do good and bad stuff all the time.

Granted we don't a camera or constant surveillance or record (or funds) all the time, but I'd bet we said/did bad stuff.

Now in Hollywood's case their stuff is mainly criminal/jail/wtf is going on over there?!??!

In her case, I'm not surprised.

There's people who are homophobic/transphobic and everyphobic (and -ist!!) in the world so of course they would be in show business.

Cause they're people. We got people (like millions of them, a concerning number in worldwide leadership positions but that's a story for another day...) like that all over.

Celebrities are not and never will be role models. They are public images projected onto a pretty body.

That's also the reason why I'm saying that she should shut her computer and cut her losses.

(a lot of celebrities should do that honestly)

But, it does let you know who to support and who not to.

And I'd rather know my enemy rather than worship a perfect image honestly.

I also think it's unwise to fight the people who are literally indirectly paying your bills.

There are 93k people (just on Tumblr) who ship the guys.

Even I know better and I'm a fan.

(i think it's because I'm a fan and ik how it can get I'm just an observer cause whew 😥😮‍💨)

That's not counting the ones not active here or casuals who agree with the pairing.

If they pay your bills walk on eggshells ma'am. You're job quite literally hinges on people liking you.

So be likable.

(once again I will reiterate as a fan/human with a heart let me know how bad you are so I don't give you my love if you're a bad person with shady morals.)

But as an observer it's like just shhhhhh. Please. The Internet is forever. There is no timeline for it. What are you doing??

If I'd say it it's like watching you drive a burning car driving down the street and you're sitting in it proudly waving and hitting people but insist you're right or a good person.

I'm just shocked at some people's let's say narrow thinking aka limited timeline thinking.

Fans and the Internet didn't forget. They will find you.👹

But I wanna talk about Buddie now!

Okay.

Now that we've criticized celebrity culture and the response of ms. Edy and her bad mindset (aka lack of critical reading and decision making with fandoms and responses in general also queerphobia?!) that honestly I appreciate.

Be a bad apple in public.

Imma stand on business.

Expeditiously 😤.

Bye bye support and hello uproar.

But back to Buddie 😘😚🤗😝, I wanna be clear I am a fan but I am also very critical of media.

It's the way they act.

Literally.

The reason Buddie even exists and is accepted is it's literally there. (Their fault)

There is no subtext.

The actors play it as such, the directors direct it as such and the marketing play it as such.

I'm a bit upset seeing y'all called clowns (although i hope it's said affectionately cause tone indicators or the lack of) because you're not crazy.

They quite literally put the battery in y'all backs so it shouldn't be surprising if the battery is more high powered than expected.

You are not misreading anything.

Most people just choose to ignore the signs because

(the church! Homophobia! All rhe -ias and ists!)

Truly our downfall as a modern society.

Anyways, as a writer and heavy media consumer there's no mistakes.

Every wprd is carefully chosen, every shot has a purpose and every cut is done. These things are practiced a thousand times, edited, retaked a thousand times if they have to.

There's no mistakes in media. It's literally made to influence, persuade and educate.

Nothing is a coincidence!

But after reading a few interviews and listening to the fandom I think we can also say with confidence they've been playing it as a romance.

There's nothing platonic.

They have platonic couples on the show.

That

is not it.

Even if you see it as pure writing without the context of their acting choices.

Let's say kitchen scene.

You wanna work it out in the ring (throws playful punches)

I'd take you.

I wouldn't do that. You're on blood thinners.

Buck steps closer to playfully intimidate him.

You wanna go for the title?

Now pause.

Ik we all know that scene religiously and can only see it as insane (because they are. It is.) but I read it in my mind as a blank sheet of paper and couldn't help but wonder.

Why would you say it like that?!??!!?

Mr. Oliver Stark and Mr. Ryan Guzman I sentence you will eternal jail cause wtfff?

I imagined it more platonically. You can quite literally put, let's say, Hen and Chim in that same scenario. Damn even Eddie and Chim.

Their acting choices would reflect that. Hell, read the lines without looking (or hearing their insane intonation) and imagine your best friend. Any friend for that matter.

It wasn't playful, it was well, sexually tense. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Ps i love buck 1.0 and was shooketh to see his return because i watched the show backwards. i did season 2-6 in like a week then begrudgingly did season 1. Me nah like abby ...

They are choosing to act it out as a romance.

Now that could lend itself to male partnership in movies (and real life) where they went to war together that were usually where gay/queer men had partnerships/relationships in every sense of the word.

The shows ain't got it from nothing. 🤷🏾‍♀️

There's always truth in fiction.

I also find out a bit hilarious to imagine the director tried to get them to stop but the takes were either too good or they kept pushing the envelope and the editors were like yes. 🤗

I will put this shot of them longingly staying at each other instead of the slightly less neutral one.

Or cut when they say we're the only ones who don't have kids (+buck) then cut to Buck being a good dad! 🤗

On a bit of a more serious note let's say it is a bit of manipulation of the masses marketing wise.

The show is very queer friendly with a (black!) lesbian couple, a gay man, an engaged (black!) gay couple and many queer stories of different races in their cases that are told wonderfully.

I acknowledge and comment them for it but ..

The big problem is how Buddie is treated. (Or rather the very rational people who ship them)

(which their name is kind of funny because I link it to buddy cop movies that can be homoerotic when they feel like it and buddie is technically that trope)

Homosexual media (in the case of film) has always been subtext, hidden, stereotyped, twisted or been outright secret messages for the girls to uncode (cause religion 🤷🏾‍♀️).

It has only been like very recent that queer people have been gaining respect in media so it's not surprising.

What life was like in 2019 to now in terms of queer media is like night and day. The same would be for the 2000s. Gay was used as an insult. The world is quite literally changing before our eyes.

In their case, the elf scene is said to be a wink at the audience.

But the actors took it seriously. So we do as well.

Aka the battery put in they back.

They respect the same vision. 😤goated

The chemistry is undeniable, and the tropes they have parallel a lot of romantic things used historically in media. (And in the show *bathena* but🤷🏾‍♀️)

It's not an accident to say that if one of them had been female (aka the "acceptable" pairing) they'd have been together.

You could argue that if he'd been with Maddie like intended they'd be together. And little jiyun would be a sister.

She might be a Jane actually??

Back on topic.

I found it interesting when watching like a compilation (cause i did nawt watch the show before become a buddie fan) and found it hilarious because it was like their normal behavior and i felt the romantic tension shift. It was like whoooaaa holup. The air shifted.

It's very easy to spot it because at the first few episodes it was very platonic then it became very side eye....

What do you mean he's cute? What do you mean wanna go for the title?

(That scene is eternally insane)

What do you mean with other couples they're paired as a family? Consistently?

What do you mean the kid and you go on solo family outings to the zoo? Constantly? For years?

You take care of him like all the time?

What do you mean he's your kid's legal guardian and partly the reason you lived after being trapped in a well?

The actors play it romantically. Ryan does cause I remember step up.

After like a year together? Over his family? Who are not firefighters??

Ik how he is when he's flirting.

The show also (unfortunately) writes their love interests as tools of self growth for them (which can be a bit problematic cause the women aren't being treated three dimensionally characters men get to be. the two who were closest were abby, and Taylor. Shannon was so so for me personally. Which is odd because they have complex main females it's just unfortunate that the women they have for them are rarely people outside of the relationship and that's why it falls apart in the case of their relationship/people getting invested).

Nobody is quite literally written as important to each other like them. They are in a relationship no doubt. We can say queer platonic now (as they are raising a kid together?!??!! Like come on. Chim and Hen aren't like Buck and Ed. Also the good cop bad cop scene?)

It's just not sexual I'd say.

Cause emotionally, mentally all that is there.

And they could absolutely play it "straighter" 🥴 cause I've seen a plethora of male friendships (slight side eye ry we got buddy cop movies galore don't play with me!!!) where they support each other.

They don't act like that!!!! Look at this and tell me I'm wrong!

(i feel insane but I'm not i swear)

the lighting, the cut, the conversation im melting~~~!!!!

It's not inaccurate to say that the way they're written (and acted!!) is more romantic than platonic.

I'd assume they couldn't let the two hot men who represent "manliness" be together because they didn't fit into a (gay) stereotype.

But they will gladly let you advertise their show to the high heavens and bring in millions of dollars in revenue, which does upset me ngl but 🤷🏾‍♀️ hey, can't hate the player hate the game right?

[windstir]

why strawberry crepe cookie is very autistic coded

by: yours truly, an autistic person who happens to like the pink cookie a lot! 🌸

the chart above is what i will be using as a base for some of the behaviors they express. though i'm letting you guys know beforehand that autism looks different in everyone (obviously) and that some traits might be influenced by traumatic events in your early years of life (like what happens with Crepe.)

most of the information has been taken from canon events and stories, and some other things are just based on my own interpretation of their dialogue and the few things we know about their backstory!

we will go in parts, describing each tab in as much detail as i possibly can ...

that being said, sit the fuck down, grab some snacks, and listen to me ramble about the little pink cookie, because that's what autism made ME do. some people solve math problems, i talk about my little pink thing while i rotate them around in my head like a microwave.

before i start: spoiler warning for pretty much everything regarding Strawberry Crepe Cookie and cookie odyssey.

🌸🌸🌸🌸

i. fixations -

the fixations tab is the easiest thing to explain from this mess, since it's most of their character: robotics!Crepe shows a high interest in wafflebots! being pretty much one of the few things they talk about freely (and something they're very passionate about as a whole) and being something that takes up most of their day and routine.

there are many parts where they start rambling about the bots, being most noticeable during the cookie odyssey (they have many of these moments during their parts of the story! 🎶)

(they also seem to be messy as mentioned by Clotted Cream Cookie at some point in odyssey, unless it comes to their tools! which is. something i relate to deeply lmao. i find organizing my clothes and things pretty boring, but i enjoy organizing my art supplies for example. relaxing activities ~ i'm not sure if it IS part of a fixation but i still think it deserves a spot.)

🌸🌸🌸

ii. noise sensitivity -

this is also easy to explain: they don't like noise. one of their "default phrases" is. just that. them complaining about the noise (and mentioning that their bots are more quiet, once again tying things back to their special interest/hyperfixation.)

and this new comment from the spring 2023 event.

🌸🌸🌸

iii. aggression -

while also having canon arguments to back up this one, it can't really be used as a way to say "oh Crepe is autistic". why? because crepe has gone through trauma and was exposed to violence as a fairly young kid, specially since it wasn't really explained to them that what they did was wrong.

they are aggressive, having threatened others before ... but is it an autistic thing, or just a trauma response of some sort? i can't really tell, honestly. so i'm going to replace it with:

🦄🌸 the inability to properly identify their own emotions, something i've struggled with since i was just a little guy !!!! 🌸🦄

(or, in proper terms, i think it's called alexithymia! if this is wrong i will correct myself.)

when Pure Vanilla mentioned the time period they were alone (or with DE) they responded with: "well ... it WAS boring!"

boring, a word that seems to be quite common in their vocabulary and mine (especially as a kid, we're talking a 5-8 y/o child who struggled to properly identify their emotions and was pretty disconnected from them)

i remember always complaining of boredom, and i sometimes still mix boredom with sadness, understimulation ... you call it.

and the fact that they used the word "boring" to describe a (definitely) traumatic period of their life is. quite interesting to me!

were they truly bored, or were they sad? anxious? scared ...?

and then, once again, in the spring 2023 event, we get more of that:

it happens after the group of kids they're playing with don't listen to their attempts of communicating their discomfort and stress over the situation they're in, Crepe was trying to communicate that they weren't happy with the noise they were making and the fact that everyone was walking in different directions. (and one of the kids was being particularly hyperactive too)

so, they lashed out.

pretty self-explanatory. Crepe also isn't very good at expressing and controlling their negative emotions.

so yeah! back to the ACTUAL chart now ...

🌸🌸🌸

iv. social difficulty -

yeah, another obvious one. they struggle with socializing and seem to prefer the company of their robots and small crowds. (or older people, they seem to be a lot more nicer around Espresso. like in the christmas 2022 story)

not much to say, their socializing skills may also be affected by their trauma. (they were frozen for years as a child, abandoned by their village and then by Dark Enchantress, leading to a pretty lonely life before the events of chapter 9 and odyssey)

but i do think they're genuinely just an awkward little kid, and that's fine! they're learning at their own pace as i've mentioned in another post :)

🌸🌸🌸

v. speech pattern -

... it may be me, but their way of speaking is different of the way kids around their age express themselves usually, so i say they got an abnormal speech pattern.

they use big words and know what they mean, end of the speech tab. i don't know how a normal person speaks so i can't really say "this was supposed to be abnormal speech? but I speak like that!"

🌸🌸🌸

vi. depression / anxiety -

the depression and anxiety tab are mainly based on headcanons i branched out based on their backstory, but they may be enforced by their crunchy dreams story and their fortune: "you're not alone: love surrounds you."

it's probably not related to autism, though. it's probably because of their trauma and abandonment issues. either way it's there.

to need reassuring in something like this means that they probably cling compulsively to certain thoughts/beliefs.

which, if i remember correctly, is a thing that sometimes happens with autistic people according to other autistic people. it's like a weird fixation of sorts, i'm not 100% sure ...

the only time(s) i've seen them have some sort of anxious behavior is during their battle speech, where they panic after losing to Gingerbrave's team.

then during the spring event of 2023, where they say that they "can't think straight" because of the noise Pancake Cookie is making.

🌸🌸🌸

i'm not sure if they got any tics and fidgets, i haven't noticed anything that can classify as such, so it's one of the lowest tabs.

same with the abnormal posture. and if they got it is probably because of the being frozen thing weakening their body to an extent.

🌸🌸🌸

in conclusion! after tumblr deleted part of my post from my drafts ... _(:3」 ∠)_

i wholeheartedly believe Crepe might be an autistic coded character, whether or not is something the writers intended to do isn't clear to me, but they show SO many traits that i wouldn't be surprised if they canonically were! most of the things i mentioned are also based from my own experience and the bits i can remember form my own childhood as an undiagnosed kid, but yeah!

i hope you enjoyed this painfully long rant <3 i might make one eventually about how i think Crepe might also be physically disabled (implied), but for now, have this.

okay bye i can't post more pictures because the app sucks.

[angelosearch]

Writing, and how it helps with a loud brain.

I am not an unusual person with mental illness in the sense that I think, a lot. My brain constantly searches for things to chew on, and it's natural inclination is toward self-criticism/hatred.

The thoughts move fast. I'll start with one concept and then other ideas get swept up with it. Supporting scenarios get analyzed. Social interactions get recontextualized. It builds momentum in the quiet, and the faster it gets, the louder it seems, until I feel like I've been sucked into an inescapable thought-tornado.

The trick is to slow it down early with some sort of intervention.

There are plenty of interventions that no longer serve me that are very effective - things that amounted to escapism, sometimes unconsciousness. At one time, I was so opposed to being with my own brain, I would avoid going home. I'd go out to bars every night, spending more money than I had, drinking more than I should, sharing my time with people I no longer know. I would stay at work long past my shift.

When I had to go home, I became set on clouding my mind until it was completely opaque. If all else failed, I just slept to avoid myself. I abused benadryl at one point so I could sleep through my days.

I've done a lot of work to understand where these thoughts come from, how to challenge them, and how to slow them, but there are still times when the thought-tornado touches down and picks up my perverbial brain-cow and takes it for a whirl. But I don't fear the funnel like I used to.

Writing helps me in multiple ways.

For one, if I chose to write out the negative thoughts instead of just thinking them, the narrative distance helps them feel less true. I also write slower than I think, so if I concentrate on capturing the ideas, I will never catch up. It's harder for the speed of the thoughts to build, especially in pen.

There is an element of escapism, but not to the point of avoidance. I will often start writing while I am trying to calm down, and then, once more level, I will come back and think about things more clearly. I also process a lot of what I think and feel through writing, even in fanfiction. Sometimes I give my characters the breakdown I am on the verge of, and the degree of separation makes it less severe.

And then, of course, writing is just fun sometimes. I get excited about ideas and it puts the self-hating thoughts on pause. It only takes a few minutes of a mindful activity to calm the nervous system, and it is important I don't let the thought-tornado hit those power lines.

I enjoy writing so much that I have learned to live more effectively with these thoughts. I don't want to run away from my brain, because yes, it is mean to me sometimes, but also it can create wonderful things. I find myself doing less and less to alter my state of consciousness because I want to be able to write. I can sit with myself, and that is something that, as an adult, I could not do until recently.

To mix metaphors here, I will tell you what I told my therapist this week:

My head used to be like a shitty gas station at night. I wanted to be in and out quickly, get what I needed and run. It was not a welcoming place, or a place that felt safe, and I would never go unless I needed to.

Now, my head more like a mid-teir grocery store (Safeway) a few days before a holiday. It's busy and stressful and over-stimulating, but I will go, and it will be safe, just a little frustrating. I will linger sometimes because I'll find an interesting product or I'll be willing to wait at the deli. As maddening as it can be, there will be some part of there experience to enjoy - maybe the early 2000s soft rock song over the PA or the fact the thing I needed was on sale.

Someday, I hope my head is like a really nice grocery store (Wegmans) at a time when it is empty, maybe at 5 am when they bring out the fresh bagels. Then, I won't mind wandering for hours.

Anyway that was a tangent, but I was writing this to calm a thought-tornado and, guess what? It worked. Writing for the win, ya'll.

[crisalidaseason]

Hey it’s me again with the platonic asks,do you happen to have any platonic headcanons for Reiner and Marco x reader?(separately)if you write for Reiner and Marco that is lolol and thank you so much for doing my previous reqs I rlly appreciate it,also I hope I’m not being a bother with all these requests.

Hello again! Don't worry, I love requests and I write pretty much everything sooo here we go! I've been really low on requests so I am very glad you're bringing such wholesome ones. Also, I've been working non-stop so forgive me if this seems rushed or not so good. Enjooy love <3

Platonic!AOT character x reader

Characters: Reiner, Marco Content Warnings: fluff, bit angsty, gn!reader

Reiner

Big emotional man. Reiner is charismatic, helpful and attentive out of pure need to be loved and accepted, because of that he is full of insecure thoughts and also neglects his own needs. He constantly thinks you'll get tired of him, or that he will eventually disappoint you. It takes time for him to build confidence.

Protective but also extremely annoying. Likes to tease and joke with you, in a brotherly way. Also, he is suprisingly good at giving advice or just being a shoulder to cry on. Reiner molds himself for others, he will be whatever you need without a second thought.

Loves to spend time with you outside. He loves to go hiking with you, training or just going out for a swim in a river/lake. He is a very enegetic person and he likes companionship in those moments. If you are not so into physical exercise, just be there with him and talk. Reiner likes to talk about silly things, but also serious topics.

He fixes everything. If you have any sort of broken item, he will go to the end of the world to fix it or replace it for you. Reiner is a big man with big hands, but he is surprisingly soft handling your broken things and trying to restore it to the former glory. He also likes to do handmade things to gift you on your birthday or other festivities.

He is a very social person, despite his difficulties being vulnerable, Reiner is extremely mangetic and that means you end up being known by proxy. Random people will talk to you just because you know Reiner.

He is not known for self care, but if you join him he will start to implement it more. He surprisingly likes to take his time shaving his face, talking to you in the process. Reiner has a bit of separation anxiety and does not like to be alone for long periods of time.

Overall, he is a very nice friend. A bit clingy and insecure, but extremely protective and helpful.

Marco

A sweetheart, perfect little boy. He is the friendliest person ever, he exhales trust and calmness. He has a way with words and advices that quickly breaks people's walls and it's not different with you.

Marco is a very observant person, which means he notices fast if something is not right with you. The thing is, Marco is also completely respectful, if you don't want to talk about something he will not insist. He is confident you will come to him when needed. He let's you figure things out alone, but with a watchful eye.

He feels like his likes/dislikes and opinions are secondary. Marco was always praised for being the one to give and give, and he associated this with his worthyness. It takes time until he understands that a friendship is a two way street, he has to give and also receive. He still is surprised when peolpe ask about his interests and passions, wondering why the person wants to know about him.

Protective, but in a quiet way. He is discrete and also calculative. If someone tries to harm you, Marco is already two steps ahead. And believe me, he is very intimidating. Marco has height and a relative strength, which he does not like to flaunt unless necessary. He never resort to violence, but he sure uses his tall frame and firm voice to scare somebody.

His favortie activity to do with you is eating. He loves talking over tea or coffee, even eating rations in missions, he likes to have this moment of interaction, feeding both his body and mind. And Marco is quite philosophical, he loves to discuss whe 'whys' and 'hows' of the world. Sometimes he is such a silly man, but it's endearing to see.

Jean is an inevitable part of your friendship, since him and Marco are extremely close. You and Jean had a small jealousy moment, on Jean's part, but it soon faded. Marco became extremely sad when his two friends did not get along, so Jean decided to let go. You honestly thought that the tall blond had some unresolved romantic feelings, which prompted the jealousy.

[itsjaywalkers]

do nh james and reg ever consider an open relationship when they are actually together? i know that they aren't actually in open relationships when they are with other people and cheating with each other, but i wonder if that's something they would want since they both seem to kind of enjoy(?) having sex with other people and each other at the same time. like i get the vibe that they want each other even more when one/both of them is also with someone else

oh nonnie this is such an interesting question!! you've had me thinking about this all morning, considering options and analysing if this sort of dynamic would work for them!!

ultimately, the answer is no, but it's mostly bc the 'enjoyment' they get from the cheating comes from a different place. it's not that they like having sex with other ppl while still actively hooking up, it's simply that reg is doing his best to move on from james (but james won't let him) while james simply isn't aware of his feelings. he likes being in a relationship, enjoys the chase and the challenge and earning someone's attention + affection. he already has regulus in the way he thinks he wants him (platonically, with sex always being on the table) so why would that keep him from pursuing romance???

also i'm fascinated by u getting that vibe and kinda glad bc !! that's the impression i'm going for with james' pov !! the whole point is that he isn't aware of his feelings, but seeing reg with someone else makes him jealous and possessive and yeah in a way it makes him want reg more. the rest of the time he wants him the same, but since he's oblivious and he sort of already has him, those feelings are . kind of dormant?? they're quiet and appeased, so it does seem like james gets off on reg being with others (he very much doesn't. he hates it. it turns him into a very ugly and greedy person)

reg also wants him all the time!! and quite desperately!! but unlike james, he's convinced he can't have him. so at first he gets jealous but doesn't intervene. like in part 3, james and emma had been going out for quite a while, and despite her being suspicious of james and reg's dynamic (and understandably so) no actual cheating had occurred. and it wouldn't have, either, if james hadn't started it. despite his feelings, reg would've never tried anything, bc he'd rather have james as only a friend than not have him at all

so yeah, i've mentioned them lowkey having a cheating kink, but it's not really a Thing. what gets them going it's seeing the lengths the other would go to for them, not the actual cheating (and again it's mostly regulus bc james doesn't even consider it cheating for a very long time). cheating is Wrong and is frowned upon for good reason and it's just . a very shitty thing to do . the kind of line ppl do their best to never cross . especially ppl as loyal as james . so reg is unconsciously sort of into the fact that james would go as far as cheating on his partner for him

besides they're way too possessive for an open relationship!! it could never be an option for nh jegulus (but again this was so very interesting to consider, thanks for the question nonnie <3)

[tinywitchgoblin]

Didn't know you were doing ship requests, so I'll give it a whirl! Ship me til your heart's joy! 💖

I'm an INFJ personality type and my zodiac sign is Cancer (fun fact, the ruling planet for Cancer is the moon). I love baking, reading, writing, and recently I've been wanting to get an acoustic guitar. I love acoustic, folk music, I love forests and rain, knitting, tea, overall coziness. I'll take a quiet night at home over a wild night partying any time.

I hope this is enough, though let me know if you'd like more description :D can't wait to see who you ship me with!

MOON HELLO ILY

I ship you with...

Echo!

Growing up, Echo never had a chance to relax or be comfortable. From being a cadet to a soldier to a prisoner to a soldier/fighter again, he was always on the move; always on survival mode- that is, until he met you. You called to a side of him that he didn't know he had- one that desires comfort and love. He's not really sure how to address it at first, but he eventually realizes that he loves you. He decides the best way to resolve it would be to talk to you directly, and when he found out that you reciprocated his feelings, he asked you out right then and there.

Echo loves taking quiet nights at home with you. He was never really a party animal like some of his brothers, so he really enjoys spending quality time with you- quality time is, after all, his love language. He likes when you show him new types of music, but is a little confused at first ("Taylor Swift? Is she a good runner or something?" lol). He's very supportive, and when you tell him about wanting to learn acoustic guitar, he encourages you to get one and start learning! He also likes when you knit. You even knit him a hat to keep his head and ears warm, and when you gave it to him, he just melted. It was one of the first gifts he'd ever been given, and it (and you) mean so much to him.

Something Echo grew to enjoy during his time with the bad batch was tea. Tech especially was a bit of a tea snob, so when he found out that you enjoy tea, too, he started drinking it again. Sometimes, when you and he go out shopping at the local farmer's market, he'll look for new and interesting teas to try with you. You've definitely got a collection going on, and he only adds to it (not that you mind).

Even though he absolutely loves being with you and spending time with you, that doesn't stop his drive to fight against the Empire. He still does missions with Rex and the others, but if he's not actively on a mission, he spends what time he can with you. It's difficult for you to say goodbye to him each time he leaves, knowing that it may be the last time you ever see him. However, you know he's doing the right thing, and you support him in whatever ways you can, and that means more to him than he knows how to express.

(tiny side note, I've been playing acoustic guitar since I was seven, and it's so much fun!! and so satisfying!! I highly recommend learning to play if you're on the fence about it)

-

Thanks for reading! If you want a ship request like this one, put it in my ask box (but it may take a while for me to get to it), and don't forget to reblog <3

[simlit]

3, 6, 7, 9, 13, 19, 22, 24, 25, for VEN

What is your OCs fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

In his current state? Probably his selflessness. He gives too much to people and has a hard time drawing lines if it's someone he deeply cares about. Case in point, letting Naida more or less railroad the entire family into chasing the Fountain of Youth. In his defense, Naida isn't really someone you can win fights against, but considering the dangerous nature of the voyage, one would think he should have fought against it a lot harder. I do think he's aware of it, but not in a way he can actively check, because it's a lot of him overcompensating for the way he used to be and the things he's done. So I guess a larger and probably more fatal flaw is the fact that he carries around so much guilt and does a lot in the name of reparations.

How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?

Easily, but tbh I feel this is one thing Ven shares with Kato. His morals can be bent depending on who is involved and the consequence of the situation. Ven isn't standing on moral highground in the first place, despite understanding right and wrong well enough. He certainly doesn't care enough about authority not to break rules, and as far as life or death is concerned, a life will always matter less to him if they're at odds with someone he loves. That being said, I think he's resourceful enough to find ways around making risky choices.

What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

Also a really fun question, cuz I haven't thought about it in years LOL. Though Ven stayed mostly the same from conception, he was supposed to be a bit more "roguish" even after his Reaper years. More of the typical pirate: loose, unkempt and thieving. But he ended up being way more charitable and straightlaced than I'd initially planned, but that ironed itself out almost immediately so I don't really consider it to have been "the plan" just "what I had had in mind at some point" lmao. Now the idea of Ven sleeping around with literally anyone is goddamn baffling to me.

Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

Every single word of his theme song, "The Balancer's Eye" by Lord Huron, but all of this: Nothing's waiting for us in the great sky Life is equal to dust in the Balancer's eye Now I know that I can't lift an old curse Tell me, how does a man change the universe? Will I ever be forgiven for the crime of my life? Will it haunt me till I die? To the end of time?

If you met your OC, would the two of you get along?

I think Ven is one of the few characters I can genuinely answer "yes" to this question lmao. Just because Ven is hands down the least judgmental of my OCs, not to mention packing all that charisma, he can literally talk to anyone. Although I probably would just be dead on the floor so it wouldn't be a very interesting conversation.

How does your OC behave when enraged?

We so rarely see Ven angry. Honestly, a bit like Kyrie, Ven has a quiet temper. He's good at restraining himself now, because he knows intimately well just how horrible of a person he can be, so he makes a concerted effort never to let anything get him that upset. Mostly, things don't anger him as much as he may be disappointed or saddened. There is one scene in OST:O I've had planned for years that actually showcases Ven's true anger and it is very much "silent and lethal" lmao.

What character alignment would you consider your OC to be?

Oof, I dunno, somewhere between neutral good and chaotic neutral. Hard to pinpoint lol

What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone done? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

Oh, this one is interesting. I think Ven could have easily continued down the path he started on when he got the sight. That is, had he not been able to pull himself back from that maniacal person he'd become as consequence, he'd be unrecognizable today. That's not to say he isn't already because he absolutely was that person for a moment in time. The Reaper King wasn't just a persona, it was his entire essence. He was ruthless, violent and he did very literally kill dozens (I won't say 100s but it's up there) of people. We like to imagine him as the loving father and perfect husband he is now, but outside of maybe Elsera he's my OC with the highest bodycount. And while in a way you could justify he killed people because "they deserved to die" he was never in the right to pass that judgement. Had he not eventually woken up from that state of trauma and derangement, he'd still be a completely unstable murderous lunatic .-.

What is your favorite thing about your OC?

How hot he is. The end.

[mintmoth]

are there any twst ships you're interested in? i'm just curious :3c

OH MAN so there's not a lot of ships in twst that I don't particularly like since there's a ton of fun character interactions and dynamics that I understand people liking a lot!

Personally the ones I find myself gravitating towards though would be-

Jade and Azul- these two are all head games and one upping each other but also operate on a lever where they understand each other really well, and I've seen a lot of really cute and gorgeous art of them, and I'm weak for the childhood friends to lovers thing

Floyd and Azul- similar to above but with the added hijinks that is just Floyd in general lmao, I see more goofy art then cute art with the two of them but it's a really fun dynamic they have

Floyd and Kalim- again I've seen very goofy and cute art of them and I think the two of them have the ability to just have a lot of fun, added points for giving Jamil a heartattack

Jade and Kalim- once again cute art has won me over LMAO, though I like the added bonus that Jade is more quiet about being very inhuman so there's this element of him being alarming or letting Kalim in slowly only to be met with kindness and understanding to the point where Jade is just like "do you not understand how much danger I am?", also Jamil might be having an even worse heart attack HAHAHAHA

Jamil and Kalim- OKAY I AM SPECIFIC WITH THIS ONE because they have so much going on and I adore how messy and complicated they are so I don't like things magically okay or wow they're suddenly fine and also dating like no I want them caring deeply for the other but they know there's too much going on to let them have a relationship so it's like, the two of them growing and having gentle moments with soft pining and hard moments that are still full of hurt and resentment and moments where they think maybe one day they'll have things figured out and they really can just be two people who could have a romantic relationship outside of everything they've grown up with but also sometimes they they think that maybe they really can just care for the other as a friend and that if they have to let go maybe they can- like yes I do still like silly comics and cute art but this is them at their ideal for me personally lmao I just like them.. complicated. There's no quick fix here and that's okay

Jamil and Azul- okay so this one crept up on me and has become like my number one ship that I like.. Actively Ship OOPS I just love how they're such good parallels of one another and how Azul is so incredibly actively fascinated and amazed by Jamil and Jamil is like, suspicious of him but also actively acknowledges Azul as someone who's competent when Jamil tends to put himself above others like, they're the one upping bullshit and complicated nonsense but then add in the concept of them genuinely enjoying the others company and letting the mask slip around the other because they're faced with someone who really understands them in ways others don't, but they both have far too much pride and too many issues to just admit their feelings so they're left pining and floundering- did I mention I'm a sucker for slow burn romance

Oh yeah also I like Vil and Rook, Azul and Idia are fun, Trey and Cater are great and angst city, Jamil and Leona are interesting????, Ace and Deuce are cute and has that fun teasing aspect with "yeah I kiss the bros goodnight so what, maybe I think about holding your hand sometimes because you make my heart do backflips SO WHAT ITS NOT LIKE ITS A CRUSH ITS JUST A REGULAR TUESDAY WITH THE BOYS"

Oh yeah and Vil and Leona have never been married but they're divorced

[boltlightning]

Stupid question maybe but how do you find time and energy and excitement to read books?

Don't get me wrong, I like reading as a form of media. And I have a couple of fanfics I'm keeping up with, and even ones I reread. I think it's important for my vocabulary and on seeing the world. Surprisingly, a fanfic I read helped me a lot in understanding and processing complex trauma.

But at the same time, books intimidate me. I bought a book I know I want to read but actually reading it just scares me. Maybe this is the TikTok attention span (although I always just read with music and in bed). Or the fact I know the book is an emotional piece, either way I can't get myself to start.

Or perhaps it's the fact my brain feels overfull with so much that there's no place for new media unless it's in an universe I'm already familiar with, or forced down my throat by proxy/society.

Are you just inherently excited to read about stuff, or do you also have like a moment where you fight yourself to get started to read?

Also please feel free to ramble about more books you think people should read!

this is an EXCELLENT question, and one i don't know that i'm the best person to answer! i'm pretty flighty about reading and have only gotten back into it within the last two years or so, and largely during lockdown. i have a miserable, internet-y attention span as well, and with so much competing for our attention these days, it can be REALLY hard sitting down somewhere quiet with a book and tuning everything out. i definitely relate.

firstly, i think that fic is a great way to get back into reading! they build up your attention span, depending on the fic, and let you understand what kind of stories you like to read for free, even if it's involving characters you already know. reading work by your peers is always, always valuable.

specifically for the book you own that you know you want to read: make a date with the book! like, literally, set a date and time you know you're free, put an alarm in your phone. put the book somewhere you can see it every day. mentally prepare yourself for it as the hour approaches. do this until you find yourself wanting to pick it up on your own, or until you finish the book. making it a chore seems counterintuitive but sometimes it's the only way to get started.

more tips for getting back into reading in general are below the cut. in general i've sorta...bullied myself into remembering i enjoy this activity. that's also come with the realization that being kind to myself and knowing my preferences are key to building the habit up.

my more learned mutuals, if you have anything to add or books to recommend, please do!!

it's ok to only read what you want to read. it's ok to not finish books. you don't NEED to read big-brain nonfiction or archaic classics if you're not interested in them. and if you don't like something, put it down. you don't have to stay in the world if you don't like it!

use the one-third rule: this works for all other media too. if you start to read something and don't immediately jive with it, read until you're 1/3rd of the way through. if nothing's happened to grab you, that usually means that the book isn't for you and you can move on. you gave it a fair shake! you can let go! this often helps me realize i'm in the headspace for a different kind of story, and that's ok!

make it an accomplishment. i have an awful and ugly spreadsheet where i write down what books i've read this year, when i finished them, and what i thought. my favorite part of finishing a book is writing a short stupid review in this spreadsheet. it's only for me, and yet it feels good to check names off a list.

read books with peers. a huge part of why i read jane austen's novels was because i wanted to understand what everyone on tumblr was talking about, and it's been very fun!! as much as i begrudge it, i think this is the appeal of booktok, honestly — it's fun to meme on stories with your friends. you don't necessarily need to join a book club, but it can be really encouraging to read a book your friend recommended and read it so you can talk to/joke with them about it.

find out how you like to read, and when/where you'll actually do it. for instance, i haaaate audio books and refuse to read on my phone. i'll save good/exciting books to read on the exercise bike to reward myself for biking, or make a fancy coffee to accompany a book i'm struggling to start. treat yourself. trick your brain into associating the physical act of reading with the happy brain chemicals.

reread stuff you liked when you were into reading. i own most of my favorite books just for this purpose. there is no shame in rereading! there is no age limit on any book!! if i feel like my writing is suffering i will usually revisit a childhood favorite just to kickstart my brain.

books i would recommend for getting back into reading (these are all fiction and mostly fantasy/sci-fi. sorry. just what i'm into)

the princess bride by william goldman

a wizard of earthsea by ursula k. le guin

howl's moving castle by diana wynne jones

inkheart by cornelia funke

forestborn by elayne audrey becker

fireborne by rosaria munda

treasure island by robert louis stevenson (language is old, but it's a classic for a reason)

spinning silver by naomi novik. i liked uprooted by her too but it's not as universally loved. damn i should reread these

everyone go read temeraire right now please. thanks

a psalm for the wild-built by becky chambers

nettle & bone by t. kingfisher

the blue castle by l.m. montgomery

this is how you lose the time war by amal el-mohtar and max gladstone

books i would recommend if you want something more toothsome

pride and prejudice by jane austen (again, language is old, but what a banger. persuasion is my favorite by her but a lot heavier)

another oldie: north and south by elizabeth gaskell (although it is often described as pride and prejudice but in the industrial era)

piranesi by susanna clarke

the lies of locke lamora by scott lynch (i would've put this in the previous category if i could. this is great fun, but SO dense)

feast of sorrow by crystal king

the left hand of darkness by ursula k. le guin

notes from the burning age by claire north

genuinely: shakespeare. if you liked a play when you were in school you should reread it as an adult, on your own terms, with a glossary pulled up. they take at most 2 hours to read. i prommy.

i hope...any of this is helpful. again, mutuals, please feel free to add recs or tips <3

[shadeslayer]

I wanna thank you for being so open and real about fat love and fat liberation and all. I've known for a while that I like fat bodies, my own, my partner's, others', but it felt like something I had to keep quiet even within my own mind. I could admit to it but I couldn't be proud of it, you know? but after having followed you for a while and seen other perspectives, I've gone from tentatively acknowledging my feelings to fully joyfully embracing them. being fat makes me happy! seeing fat people makes me happy! I felt overwhelming amounts of joy about this. thank you for sharing what you do it's changed my world.

YES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i saw this as i was going to sleep last night it melted my heaaaart <3333 FAT IS SEXY !!!!!!!!

theres a lot of stuff with marginalization where we can only be allowed to exist if we're ashamed of it, if we don't enjoy it, as long as its not a choice and as long as we dont actively want to be the way we are. and theres been good moves along trans joy, queer joy, being proud of your heritage and your skin and the same is happening if quietly within fat movements too and its the best shit ever. i understand peoples concerns but personally im fucking over it and im done with having to play nicey nice "im so sorry im fat skinny people look prettier skinny people are the ideal" games because im NOT sorry and fat people DO look prettier and fatness IS the ideal IMHO (in my huge opinion) !!! its great being fat and i love being fat and i love it when other people are fat and when other people are fat they look hot as fuck and the world is literally a more beautiful, more sexy, more vibrant place with fat people visibly existing in it. if people wanna be fussed about that thats THEIR problem !

if youre interested in fatlib and anti-diet movement/s i do have some book/blog/zine recs i can give you! but honestly its like. its so good to be able to say truthfully w ur whole chest that yeah i love the way fat people look, i love fatness, seeing fat people makes me happy and fat people are the ones who turn me on.

im also deeply flattered bc there are people im friends with / who i follow who have been formative like that for me, and im surprised i blog about fatness enough to count LOL. i feel a lot of it is all on my nsfw blog which isnt like suuper popular or anything. but honestly if u love fat talk u shld see me in the dms with my fat femme bestie bc we tear bitches up in there. i dont like to make waves too much esp w fatness bc it can be sooo divisive and intense (bc there is so much trauma in all of us over it, so i get it!) so i dont post much of my Real Hot Takes but im glad the fat love gets across. impossible 2 contain, same as my SEXY TUMMY IN THESE TINY SHIRTS !

literally it is so healing in ways that are innumerable. the way i live in my body has improved so much now that im proudly loving and excited abt and happy abt fat. so many little things and moments in my life have been turned around where i see myself as sexy when my shirt rides up, when my pants dont fit, when i get food on my shirt. that shit is hot. and dont let any COWARDS tell you differently

ALSO: being into fat and talking abt it as a fat person w ur fat partner is so fucking amazing and i promise if u start that discussion you will get some of the red hot sexiest pics u will ever see from ur partner bc thats happened in my rship and its like. [redacted for nsfw]

took a couple selfies to trace and drew this for u darling. go forth and be FAT

[voidscarredadjudicator]

Hey guys. Sorry for being quiet for a month. Hopping on here to let y'all know that I do still have a pulse. Things have been... fine? I guess? Here's a bit of a wordy update on my situation right now, but the tl;dr is, I'm good, HE is still on hiatus, but I'll get back into the groove soon hopefully. Also happy holidays!

The mysterious and vague 'personal life stuff' is still ongoing, and I really don't know how long it'll be something that I have to deal with. I'm continuing to not elaborate because it is very much a personal life thing, but I can assure you that nobody's dying or anything grim like that.

On an only somewhat related note, my expendable income has shrank dramatically in the past few months, so I've been having to get a lot more stingy with what I spend money on. I'm not poverty stricken; I can still afford rent and bills and groceries and whatnot, I just gotta cut corners where I can so I can actually build up my savings.

What does this mean for Humanity's Endling? Well, it's... still on hiatus, technically. But really it just means I'm picking up more shifts than I'd usually care to, which means less time to actually work on it. If work were being done on it to begin with. I'm also cutting out my NSO subscription, which unfortunately means I will not be playing Splatoon 3 much at all anymore. Granted, I was kinda taking a break from it already, so it's not like I've been getting my money's worth of the subscription anyways. So if you were curious about my absence during this most recent Big Run, or the lack of a lengthy season observation/headcanon post like last time, that is why.

All of that said, it's not like I haven't been writing at all - just been hard focusing what creative juices I'm still able to generate given my situation on the accursed TTRPG I've mentioned in prior rambles, as that's an actively running thing that I kinda need to constantly pump stuff out for.

Speaking of which, I pulled a Super Mario Galaxy and wrote a whole ass children's book for the players to find as a lore thing. It was written with the intention of just being a normal children's book in a bubble, but when viewed with the context of the entire campaign thus far, takes on a completely different meaning. Which is to say, you don't need to know a damn thing about the campaign to appreciate the story - a theory I tested by having two people who aren't players read it.

One almost cried. The other actually cried. And when the players found it in our most recent session, one of them also cried, and we had to take a breather after the fact.

Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but I feel like that's one hell of an achievement. So I am pretty proud of myself for that. If you guys are interested, I might clean it up a bit and post it either on Ao3 as an original work or just straight onto this tumblr. It's only about 2k words, so it should fit nicely in a single post.

That's all I can really think of to say at the moment. Again, even though I might seem a bit quiet, I am still here. I take a peek at tumblr at least once a day to see if anyone's sent any asks or anything like that, so don't be afraid to toss something into my inbox if you have a question.

Oh, and for the anon who sent an ask suggesting me to upload what I have of Act II done already - I don't exactly plan my stories in a linear fashion, nor do I write them as such either. It's closer to me thinking of the major moments I wanna do, plotting out how to connect them, refining, refining, refining, rearranging, refining, scrap half of what I have done, rearranging, suddenly having an epiphany, scrapping another chunk... yeah, it's a bit chaotic. I see what you're trying to say though, and I do appreciate the suggestion, but it can't really be done with the way I go about writing.

That's it from me. Happy Holidays. Play Cyberpunk 2077. It's a good game, I swear. Or Undertale Yellow if you own a toaster. It's me, I own a toaster. I played Cyberpunk on my brother's computer. Thanks, bro. Love you.

[roobylavender]

who are your favorite writers of bruce and the dynamics he has w other batfam ? i remember you mentioning some writers you specifically dislike lol but im interested in some genuine recs :)

this is a very late answer and i apologize for that! off the top of my head:

bruce and dick: mike w. barr (early to mid 80s). his stuff for these two is far and few in between like it's a few back pages stories and then the occasional crossover between the titans and outsiders but i really adore how he writes bruce as this concerned parent who can sometimes be overbearing and protective but ultimately wants dick to succeed and so when dick feels suffocated bruce is more than willing to correct himself and back off. like it achieves the two things of holding bruce accountable while not painting him like some emotionally stunted abuser who makes all of dick's choices for him so i appreciate it loads

bruce and jason: mike w. barr (early to mid 80s); max allan collins (post-crisis intro arc). i don't think there is a lot to say here like they're the two writers who are probably the most sympathetic to jason as a human being and hence the way they write bruce's relationship with him is really nice. i'm not a fan of starlin or winick for obv reasons

bruce and tim: alan grant (early to mid 90s). alan grant to me was the perfect person to bring in following dick and jason's exit bc he provided the perfect amount of introspection and self-awareness for bruce to actually be a quite practical mentor to tim. like admittedly yeah a lot of that went down the drain once knightfall happened but i nonetheless think this was bruce at his most active and corrective stage of mentorship bc he was more aware of the consequences of his choices and really wanted to instill in tim that this wasn't a game they were playing at

bruce and stephanie: there's like one issue of gotham knights, #22, written by devin grayson (i know. i know) that i absolutely cling to bc it's really the first (and only) glimmer of hope for steph's relationship with bruce i think. like after multiple issues of tim and bruce being total dickhead misogynists to steph bc this kind of thing is absolutely unavoidable in dixon's writing it's so nice to see a bruce who is awkward but appreciative of steph's effort and unbothered by her tendency to babble bc it fills the quiet. i wanted that explored more between them sooooo badly but unfortunately scott beaty (i think. cmiiw) went on the whole bruce calling steph an inadequate failure shtick and ruined my life forever and i never read a batman comic again

bruce and leslie: mike w. barr (smattering across 80s and 90s). i would say the most heavy handed work to develop leslie as a foil to bruce adamant on pacifism was done by barr. barr in general was probably the most left leaning writer in bat editorial pre-00s so while his politics are not perfect (he tends to believe that violence by both the oppressed and the oppressor is bad) he was able to capitalize on leslie's relationship with bruce the most and i'm very fond of legends of the dark knight #21-23

bruce and selina: bob kane (golden age); mindy newell (late 80s to early 90s). the latter is obv a given if you have been a follower of mine for a while. but i don't think i've spoken on here specifically about how kane truly paints the most distinct picture of selina at her core that miller and newell subsequently capitalized on in their own setting of gotham following the crisis. there's nothing better than catwoman's golden age appearances to convey her thirst for notoriety contrasted with her odd mercies and while it's passed off as a bit of a joke that bruce lets things slide with her bc he thinks she's pretty i also love that it opens the way for him to be sympathetic to her in general, bc he knows she's better than she presents herself to be. bruce should always implicitly trust selina against other people's judgment imo

bruce and talia: mike w. barr (80s into early 90s). i recognize i am developing a pattern here lmao i truly love this man's writing more than that of any other bat writer! but yeah i think there is no one who really understands the complex loyalties and yearning of this dynamic better than barr and more importantly who manages to respect talia's individual agency within that dynamic. he really posits them as equals without any sort of disdain factoring into it and i think it sets him apart from a lot of other writers in the same era

these are the dynamics i can speak to. i've unfortunately never paid close enough attention to writers on issues where bruce's relationships with either gordon feature and then you guys already know i've yet to read up on cass and duke (cries) so i'm no good in that department :/ but i hope these are somewhat useful! the mike w. barr stuff is easy to find if you simply peruse his wikipedia and read all of the batman related stuff and then alan grant is obv the main writer on tec (iirc) for most of the 90s so that's easy enough. mindy newell also has a very small catalogue to her name and the golden age issues with selina you can find through dcu chronology!