#and also 2 of the 3 lords are barely side characters in their own game and only get really utilised outside their routes in the spinoffs

[nenoname]

whats your most insane gravity falls take. you can go totally wild with this one im just curious

well ya can't put me on the spot like this and expect me to pick one off the top of my head especially when all my takes are definitely 100000% correct /jk

but uh.... i do have two dumb shipping takes (despite not being into these ships at all lmao) 1. b/fford or just "omg toxic yaoi" shippers in general who think that shipping bill with stan or fiddleford is odd/makes no sense are cowards they'll never survive the war i'm taking away your 'toxic yaoi enjoyer' license, and 2. folks who went ham with shipping stan with that blue square oc or pyramid steve are cowards too aksjhdkahdska

[solarpire]

re: your tags on the poc/character post

I'm sorry but did. we watch the same Arcane

Ok so you've activated my rant card (I mean this with joy, I love talking about this kind of thing and I do enjoy the show they just did like abysmally for representation)

Here is why ekko rings as an empty/token character to me:

1. We get no personal motivations for him. We had three whole episodes of character setup for our characters. By the time we get to progress day, we solidly know what every character is about, and why seven years later they would end up in the places they did. Except for ekko. Sure he lost benzo, but what does that mean? All we ever see from that is him crying with vi. Why is he running the firelights? Did he start this group? What got him passionate enough to start all this? How did he find the tree? Why is he so jaded now? How does he feel about how things went down for vi and powder? Why does he hate jinx? (For those who dont know, that last one was apparently Supposed to be answered, but was among one of the MANY ekko scenes they decided to cut for time.) Genuinely we get better character drive for Marcus. We barely get to know his thoughts on anything, let alone see his downtime. The only exception to that is when hes playing at being someone else in the au episode. Which leads me into my next point-

2. He is always only used as a plot piece for the white characters. We only see him in the au in service of having an au episode, furthering jinxs plotline, and getting his time power in time to kind of help stop victor. In the game he always had it, he would use it as a kid to make dinners with his family last longer, and worked on furthering it when he was older to save his friend, that he ended up not being able to save in the end. That's interesting! That's something for him to have on his own, that's a driving force for why hes doing things. And when this

Is genuinely the best characterization for him? Theres a problem. (He also falls into the black hair tropes of white hair and that specific short dreads with the side shave look to make him look cool, but since the white hair was a problem with the original character design in a load bearing way, and dreads do work for his character I dont necessarily consider them the worst offenses. Can we Please explore some other hair styles though I swear his look is begging for some twists, or maybe some box braids). And otherwise, his screen time is next to nothing. I want to say season one he gets less than ten minutes total. They treat him as if hes a main character to further the plot, but the moment it doesnt matter to the more important main characters hes discarded.

3. He doesnt get to be questioned. Every single character in this show is grey in some way, except for ekko. He is lorded as an absolute moral good by the show, but we dont actually get to see what that means. We barely actually get to know how he feels about shimmer divorced from silco, let alone any of his politics in regard to zauns freedom. Hes put on a pedestal of "the good guy" without actually letting that mean or accomplish anything aside from being something pretty to look at. A token. They almost do better by sevika, if they didnt fully ignore her after the parts they needed her for in the first half of season 2, not let her mourn or even find out about the people she cared about dying, didn't let her participate in the last episode, and then did her the disservice of being the only zaunite voice on the council when it runs on majority vote (I'm sorry there is No fucking way shes rolling over and taking that deal after how much shes devoted to fighting for zaun)

4. HE FUCKING WORKS WITH THE COLONIZER OF ZAUN AS A FRIEND AND MENTOR. HELLO. I have so many problems with how heimerdinger was portrayed as a constant voice of reason, but the fact that in ADDITION to that they make him buddy buddy with ekko? Makes it incredibly clear that they have no fucking idea what they're saying.

All in all, on the surface? Ekkos awesome! Ekko is really cool and fighting for an important cause! But the moment you look past that there is almost nothing to him character wise. And when hes the only black character they use culturally black ties for outside of hair, and the only main black zaunite character? It rubs me wrong.

[shsl-hubris-guy]

31 days of dangan- day 7 & 8: fav deuterag & protag

Considering how interconnected these two are, and how horrible work has made my sleep schedule in these days and made it difficult to type these out(don't work at the on-campus coffee shop during finals season. Don't do it), I elected to lump these two into a single post.

Fav deuterag- Genocider Syo

Genocider Syo is, by a long while, my absolute favorite deuteragonist. Even when it comes to deuteragonists I may like more as characters, when looking at them as a deuteragonist, they fall completely flat in comparison to the SHSL Murderer by a wide fucking margin, to the point I'm honestly surprised I talk about her as little as I do, now that I think about it.

First of all, having the serial killer be a playable character, literally physically indestructible, and slaughter Monokumas with multiple special attacks? Objectively correct choice; Genocider was by far the best survivor you could possibly pull for a fighting game, and only barely tied with Peko, Sakura, and Mukuro on an overall for dr1 & 2, because not only is she an insanely capable murderer, she's a passionate murderer, and as such, makes for a much more enjoyable 3rd-person experience in combat than I think any of the others could be in a secondary role.

She also experiences fantastic character growth in her own right over the course of the game while remaining one of the most consistent and enjoyable characters. Her relationship with 'dekomaru' is genuinely heartwarming, with their heart-to-heart in chapter 4 being considered one of the most impactful moments of the series if that one funishment-time post is anything to go by, and really demonstrates all the strongest parts of her character beautifully. I adore seeing her get to have the rush of passion from her talent in combat, seeing her get attached to Komaru, and her being the one to accept Komaru's help and look back at her? Immaculate. 10/10. They should've kissed in the epilogue.

I think what really makes her stand out as a deuteragonist, though, is the fact that she fills exactly the right amount of space in the game, remaining a constant and becoming a reliable fallback for the player in a way that just isn't possible in the other games because they're all first-person. Kyoko, Chiaki, and Kaito are all good characters, but because they don't have their own mechanics and are separate characters in a large cast, you end up with them either disappearing and blending into the rest of the cast too much or being harped on and pointed out even when it's not necessary to remind you, the player, how important they are. It makes an overall balance, but can be frustrating in the moment. But with Syo, there is no such problem, because she's right there with you at any time, with the moments in which she does take unswappable control from Komaru being brief and impactful enough to feel like a joy to see and not a copout. Switching to her to break into the bus in chapter 3 is genuinely one of my favorite parts in that game, and not just because it signals the end of that godforsaken "motivation minigame". She's reliable and fun, and the deuteragonist also being playable is a really good and strong choice that they didn't have to make.

Overall, she's just a really great and fun character that was perfectly cast in her role. I really really like her, and she's awesome, and it's hard to put into words besides just "omg murder girl is doing murder!!! Love when murder girl murders"

Fav protag- Komaru Naegi

Good Lord, WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT KOMARU??? I mean, I know she was in a "side game" but she's leagues better than the other protagonists imo, having the best character arc, strongest emotional core, and best drama and interactions with the other cast members. It feels the most like she's a person in the cast with her own dynamics and struggles and not just 'the reliable one everyone looks to'. I love Komaru Naegi so, so fucking much.

Komaru is the 3rd protagonist in the series, and it's incredibly apparent how the writers learned from creating Makoto and Hajime, as the strongest parts of both characters were pretty clearly put into a blender together to make Komaru and her story and evolve the world and lore. Like Makoto, Komaru is a more simplistic character who feels relatively normal but has distinctive oddness that she's unaware of. Unlike Makoto, that simplemindedness goes into the territory of full-on airheadedness, but has a much stronger emotional intelligence and intuition as a result. Where Makoto became hope embodied to save his people, Komaru recognizes nuance and chooses to save everyone, to understand everyone. Like Hajime, Komaru has no talent, and greatly admires those around her who are 'chosen', even having that insistence that she's not like everyone else and just wants to leave that Hajime insisted on halfwa through his final trial. Unlike Hajime, Komaru has a deep passion- just not one she's 'shsl' at. She loves manga, and wants to make her own manga, and her normalcy being a literal weakness instead of a metaphorical one gives her the opportunity to actually build her skill instead of being coerced into erasing herself for one, distinctly showing what Hajime could've had if he'd had support the way Komaru had Toko and Syo.

Komaru's character arc is also the best because it's non-linear, with her struggling to understand how much more capable she's becoming and struggling to understand her connections with Syo and Toko. The more gradual progression from fighting to survive, to fighting to save, is much more visible with her than it is with the other protagonists, as she has to learn to fight for herself first, whereas every other protagonist hits the ground prioritizing the people around them- Sayaka, Nagito, Kaede. And this becomes all the more elevated when Komaru actually receives the choice to leave of her own free will. A choice no other protagonist is given, and her rejecting it and choosing to stay for Syo, so that she doesn't have to go back on her vow to no longer kill, because caring for herself means caring for her loved ones, too.

Komaru also holds a ton of symbolism as a cycle-breaker when it comes to the Hope's Peak era. Like Junko and Monaca, Komaru is a younger sister put through torment and pushed by the game she's in to turn into a new symbol- a Hope like her brother, a Despair Sister. But she rejects this ending, because she valued the people around her without condition, doing what Monaca and Junko didn't and chooses to save both. She isn't Hope or Despair. She's both, distinctly both. It's also why she's matched up with Toko and Syo, who were designed to convey how the world is full of nuance and reverse imagery, and it makes for a fantastic match-up that Komaru ends up as the character to not only accept Toko and Syo as separate, but loves and protects both of them.

I also just adore the way Komaru isn't given princess treatment by the cast. Whenever a character argued with the other protagonists, it meant they were pissy and mean and the majority of the cast Did Not Like them. It was always very clear that the protagonist's social problems weren't going to affect their standing within the group overall, and had themselves established as the hero to everyone else by the end of their first trials. Komaru, on the other hand, has to fight and struggle for people to listen to her, experiencing a ton of pushback from the adult resistance and constantly being toyed with by the Monokuma Kids. She was the hero character for the player, but whereas the other protagonists spent time between the chapter finales getting gifts out of a slot machine and braiding your favorite character's hair, Komaru is fighting for her fucking life and pissing herself at every save point. Haiji doesn't like her, and hates Toko. She has to save them from an invasion twice before they'll so much as give her the time of day. And the Kids spend most of the game actively trying to murder her! Komaru is in constant conflict, and yet, she has the most compassion in the end, as a survivor of actual genocide.

[spageddy]

theory - diavolo is nightbringer??

this is mostly a joke but yeah. i’ve seen posts explaining why every side character could be nightbringer except diavolo so i am here to fill that void

disclaimer: i haven’t even finished the first game i’m stuck on lesson 27 cuz my cards are shit

nb spoilers ahead

ok so things that could make diavolo nightbringer:

1. he is old as hell and a demon which nightbringer is probably a demon. and old as hell

4. he is crazy overpowered like do we even know the extent of his powers.. he also controls when and how barbatos uses his time lord powers so he has those at his disposal too

2. has a UR card that’s about apple picking and apples are like the forbidden fruit or whatever, what if it was diavolo who gave adam and eve those shits and that’s why adam was stuck in the devildom for a while? if diavolo is nightbringer that explains how adam knows him, also maybe diavolo felt bad for him so that’s why he told him about the ring that could get his ass back to the celestial realm

6. diavolo and nightbringer’s goals are not necessarily in conflict. diavolo wants to build a better relationship between the three realms and nightbringer wants to bring night to the world whatever that means, probably has something to do with the devildom becoming more powerful than the other realms. maybe diavolo wants to become the ruler of all 3 realms so he can make sure things stay peaceful for everyone

73: one other thing nightbringer wants is for MC to be happy which diavolo also wants along with like the entire cast, however nightbringer doesn’t rly give us a choice in the matter and acts like he knows what’s best for us. diavolo is guilty of this sometimes too and can be pushy when he wants something because he thinks he knows what’s good for other people

94. i think diavolo has good intentions but he’s still a sussy baka just like nightbringer. can’t help being a scorpio.. sure he never lies but he’s still kinda shady sometimes. like the whole deal with raphael threatening war if the brothers don’t go back to the celestial realm. when diavolo agreed to let the brothers stay i was like ?? dude they’re gonna nuke everyone what is u doing. his decision only makes sense if he knew michael was just joshing all along (which he probably did because he can tell when people are lying). but in that case why would u go along with the bit like that when the stakes are so high and giving everyone anxiety? not funny babygirl

15. other sussy baka moments are his comments about destiny and shit, knowing full well he has a time butler who can manipulate the past and future to what he wants it to be (this power is probably limited like diavolo from jojo’s power but still crazy to believe in fate when u can literally choose it yourself)

i don’t think past!diavolo could be nightbringer but he might be aware of his other self’s intentions and that’s how he knows we have a connection and trusts us despite barely just meeting each other in this timeline

8. seems like a really long winded and unnecessarily complicated plan to make us go through 80 lessons then cancel that timeline and send us to the past but diavolo has been known to make some pretty big sacrifices for the sake of his goals. he sent us into the past before in lesson 16 where we died but one version of ourself survived so that apparently makes it all ok, also was going to kick us out of the devildom for the sake of his reputation, and some other stuff i forgor

anyway every other demon king has died in combat (with the celestial realm perchance?) so it makes sense that diavolo wants to do everything possible to save his own ass (and the entire world from getting destroyed by the celestial realm) even if it means some of his other selves get obliterated

or maybe none of this means anything and nightbringer is actually just maddi the witch or some shit. sorry for making diavolo sound like an ass i actually like him a lot i just like coming up with silly theories more and solmare’s bad writing makes it easy

[magnificussy]

ALL OF THIS. I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who's noticed this, and with Flaw Peacock commenting on his seemingly unfinished state, I hope more people come to this same realization. Allow me to add my own thoughts from December of 2023 (also posted in a Discord server):

It just occurred to me that Magnificus's general lack of screen time seems very intentional. In Act 1, the fact that he's the last talking card you find in (and he's sometimes impossible to get; on my most recent run, stabbing out my eye (twice!) did not yield the Magnificus eyeball even though I was several deaths in rather than ahead of the curve as usual) and that you get the camera roll at the same time as him means that there's a good chance that on the same run that you meet him for the first time, you'll defeat Leshy for good and end up in Act 2. He's always vaguely present in other ways (Goobert talking about him, Magnificus's furry ass being just barely visible every time you're in the closet, the Magnificus dreams), but that's you seeing him indirectly, not actually interacting with or getting to know him.

Act 2 is when you should be able to see him more, but there are barriers here, too. First off, Magickal cards are completely incompatible with the Beastly cards you just spent several hours getting familiar with and the rules around Mox can feel complicated to first-time players, so there's a good chance you won't use any Magickal cards at all. Second, he's the ONLY Scrybe you don't get a look at when you first walk into their temple. Grimora may be behind those tombstones but she's still plainly visible, and you can talk to P03 and Leshy right away. All you get when you enter the Temple of Magicks is a note from Magnificus, and you only get to see him briefly when you finally reach the top. And even then, right after you beat him he gets poofed! It's like the game wants to disincentivize the player from interacting with Magnificus as much as possible.

Finally, in Act 3, Magnificus's concerns are dismissed by Leshy before they go in to kill P03 and he doesn't play an active role at all, with Leshy performing the beheading and Grimora being the one to delete the game. Of course, he's the last Scrybe you see post-Act 3, and he doesn't even get to have his game the way he wanted (my theory is that that's because he's never had the OLD_DATA and was never able to create the data necessary for the campaign of his dreams). Notably, you never even get to shake his hand. He's being deleted while he's playing with you, like he doesn't even get to have that much.

He's not just unassuming in the way Grimora is, it's like the game is fighting against him to make him unnoticeable. Rebecha won't say what he'd do if he had the OLD_DATA. I don't think he has any lore-important characters outside of his pupils associated with him like the other Scrybes do, either: Leshy has the Woodcarver, Grimora has the Bone Lord, and you can argue that P03 has the Trader in Act 3. Yes, Magnificus visits the Woodcarver, but we don't get any sense of why because nobody will tell us. You could also try to argue for Irving but that came in a side ARG that seemed more for fun and characterization than serious lore, and even then we don't hear it from the horse's mouth but from everyone who isn't Magnificus.

In Defense of Magnificus

A very very long rant by me. Originally from a rant I posted in a discord server in 2022, modified to be a little more concise. I have to apologize if some of this stuff is incredibly outdated, I haven't really bothered to catch up with newer stuff about the game outside of the game itself yknow... Like twitch streams from the dev and such.

I saw a theory that Magnificus was originally intended to be the villain of the original, in lore Inscryption, but through the rush of making the game as a coverup and developers like Kaycee not making much progress on the development because of said rush, he didn't get finished. And I think if you really analyze his character, everything about him FEELS unfinished.

His character design is super simple compared to the other scrybes. His deck is weak; there are not a lot of hard hitting cards aside from the Stim Mage, and the Magiks system itself feels wonky, as if they didn't have enough time to balance it out. His tower feels empty (Specially that damned bathroom. It haunts me.) His letter stops before its completed, he suddenly disappears mid-sentence... He's the only scrybe to not get a proper 3D version, as the game was mostly deleted by the time we got to him in Act 4, and he might've been the only scrybe that never became hegemon. We don't get to finish his battle, and he doesn't even get a handshake.

And going back to originally being a villain? Maybe that's why he was made to be so cruel to his pupils. P03 is also mean to his subordinates, but they're robots, they're not mean to gain as much sympathy from the player. Meanwhile, Magnificus is established to be mean and perhaps downright evil by the dialogue we get through Act 2. Rebecha speaks about him by saying he's mysterious, stating "Some say he wants... No, it's too terrible to say." But we never know what that refers to, and if it's coded dialogue or her own speech.

Outside of the CODED IN lore behind his pupils suffering, we don't see him being evil AT ALL. In Act 1 he is practically our savior; his throughout preparing was able to get us the film roll, and if we take too long he sends the player VISIONS to guide us in the right way. In Act 2 he attempts to warn the player about P03, his paint leads around to secrets to clue in about the OLD_DATA as well as perhaps serving as warnings for it. At the end of the game he is the only one who is distraught about everything being deleted; Grimora and Leshy accept their deaths, but Magnificus REFUSES to.

But wouldn't a villain rejoice about people dying? About, in his own words, an entire world being destroyed? It's like the original plan for his villainy was there, but he doesn't WANT to be one.

Now as to why he seems to continue to treat his pupils badly. I think it's just.. guilt. I believe he didn't have a choice in making them suffer, they were all just coded into what we know of Act 2. They were all created with the pupils being in torturous states and the game code telling them "It's Magnificus' fault". I think he himself believes this. I believe he could have tried to fix it before. But the thing is that, even if he ever did fix it, if he stopped their pain, it would all be for nothing... because the game resets. The only times it doesn't do this is when a scrybe takes over, which is something he has supposedly never been able to do. And if he were to help them outside of being hegemon they'd just go back to their original state once the new game card was used. I think he simply gave up upon realizing this and instead chose to bury his own grief that comes from it by playing into the character he was originally meant to be; the villain. That, and I think he just doesn't want to look at them... It hurts him to. I believe this is why he painted bleach over Goobert's painting.

I think him being originally an unfinished villain plays into him always being prepared. As I stated before, people often forget how helpful he is- it's due to his preparations that we are able to leave Act 1, he warns about The Great Transcendence in Act 2, warns Luke about the OLD_DATA, and warns him about the fate he'd encounter if he looked upon it. I think Magnificus wants to make up for his "villainy" by being the one the other scrybes and npcs can rely on in a time of need, so he spends every hour of everyday getting ready for the worst, and foreseeing what is gonna happen next.

Thing is that, he never stops anything from happening. He prepares a way out of Leshy's hegemony, but he can't stop it from happening in the first place. It's very probable that he was the one that planned how to stop P03 in Act 3, as we see he has been preparing since at least Act 2. But not only does the P03 hegemony happen, but he is ultimately unable to stop the Great Transcendence once it is in progress. Same thing for the game's deletion, which I believe it is at that point he truly panicked, because he couldn't foresee it or plan for it beforehand. It all feels like... An unfinished character arc. He never got to do anything he wanted.

I think he feels powerless.

Magnificus is often regarded as the worst scrybe. But in a sense, there's no real reason why that should be the case, at least not compared to the others. Like... Leshy took over the game and put the other scrybes into cards. He had good intentions, sure, but that doesn't mean his actions were good. Magnificus lost his eye, Grimora lost her memory, P03.... Was having a bad time...

Hell, the reason people hate Magnificus so much so often is because of the treatment of his pupils... But Leshy isn't all innocent there either. He puts Goobert in a bottle (At least, maybe he does. It's not clear whether it was him or Mags), which we know Goobert REALLY doesn't like, and he also put Goobert's description in the rulebook as "Failure". He also threw the bottle into the river as stated by himself in Kaycee's Mod.

P03... I don't gotta explain this one we know it is an asshole.

...And Grimora deleted the game, which basically killed everyone in it. While she had good intentions, it really only led to the discovery of the OLD_DATA and the subsequent assassination of Luke.

Now, what did Magnificus do? Nothing. Like... Really. He didn't GET to do anything. People dislike him because of his treatment of his pupils, but as I talked about before, I really don't think he can do anything about that, even if he wanted to.

So why do people so easily hate him? Circles back to the theory: Because he's unfinished. Everything about him is unfinished. The other scrybes are loved because we got to finish their arcs... We get to know why they each do what they did.

P03 not so much, but... P03 is a villain of sorts, people like villains and don't need them to be "good" to like them, which I agree with cuz villains are fun! P03 does have some sympathy points somewhere, though, which I'm not gonna go into here.

I'm gonna focus on Grimora and Leshy instead. Their farewells were perfect closure:

Grimora spoke about why she chose to delete the game, and we as the player come to understand her. It was right after her doing it in the first place, so we didn't even get to really build anger towards her. She talks about it being a necessary action- perhaps something we can agree with after knowing everything about the OLD_DATA. She laments not being able to play more with us, but she accepts her death and says goodbye.

Leshy talks about just.. wanting to play. That's all he wants, he just wanted to give us a good story. The original Inscryption is rushed and weird- Act 1, his hegemony, was his attempt to make it better and enjoyable (Which, considering it is the Act people love most, he succeeded.)

The player probably misses him by this point- playing cards with him feels somber, sad, and nostalgic. At this point we consider him a friend. And then he gets deleted after complementing our past deck, speaking about how much he enjoyed his time with us, and saying farewell. It's not something that leaves us with any possible anger towards him.

Magnificus though... He doesn't get that. We never get to talk to him properly, he never speaks about how he feels or why he does things. In Act 1 he spends most of the time in the clock, in Act 2 he gets cut off when trying to speak to us, Act 3 he only speaks a few sentences, and in Act 4..

His farewell is different than the other two. Leshy and Grimora accept their deaths... Magnificus doesn't. He doesn't talk about his feelings or justify his actions, because if you have been holding in your feelings, that is something you do when you can no longer do so. You let them go when you know you're going to die soon.

But he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to die, he can't accept it.

The game he played with us wasn't complete- the scales were gone, so we weren't even supposed to play against him. It was his opportunity to just say what he needed to say before he was gone, but he refused to accept his upcoming death. So instead he tried prolonging the process by using unrealistically high numbers instead of scales (The bigger the number, the longer the game will take, right..?). Even as he felt himself getting deleted he refused to end the game, or even talk to the player properly. For once, he couldn't prepare for the worst, and he was in denial- he was completely powerless and he didn't want to accept it. Instead, he speaks to us about the game deleting. He blames the player for it. He tries to guilt us; "You even allowed my goo mage to get deleted... I thought you two were becoming friends!"

And he doesn't get a handshake. He tried to push his deletion away for so long that he ended up not even being able to finish the match or get the same, proper farewell that Grimora and Leshy got.

I think by now I've said what I needed to say, but I wanna add that... Yeah, I think he's one of the most tragic characters in the game. I think he spends a lot of time being anxious- we don't get a clear answer on if he can see the future or if he is just able to predict it, but either way he lives with a lot of anxiety because of it.

I think the worst part is the deletion of the game and his farewell. He isn't able to let go because he's scared to, and because he has spent his whole life trying to prevent bad things from happening; trying to help his friends to get out of bad situations they caused themselves. But this time he's not able to, he can't do ANYTHING about it, and he's terrified because that means his whole existence and work is just... Gone. He spent all his days preparing for the worst scenarios, only for it all to be thrown away. He WASTED his life for nothing. And it hurts me that the fandom never saw that.

Or maybe I'm overthinking all of it. Maybe this has all already been directly disproven. But I still wanted to share this.

[mybg3notebook]

Astarion and Power - Part 1

Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were made up to the game version v4.1.101.4425. As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information.

Additional disclaimers about meta-knowledge and interpretations in (post)

The number between brackets [] represents the topic-block related to (this post), which gathers as much evidence as I could get.

Before talking about Power, Cazador, and other details, I would like to quickly gather what little we have about Astarion’s past. 

Backstory: Mortal Astarion.

About his past we have little information, mostly given by Swen in interviews with game magazines or via his on-live demonstrations of the game early in 2020 before the release of EA. All this information is subjected to changes, of course, so we should take it with a pinch of salt. 

As a mortal, Astarion was a corrupt magistrate who judged criminals he later sent to the local vampire coven of the Szarr family as food. After a while, his greed got the best of him and started to sell those criminals into slavery as well, having a double profit from this. This movement brought the fury of the Szarr family upon him. 

From this short story we can infer that there was a high probability that his judgements were unfair, condemning criminals who needed a death sentence to lighter ones (this is related to his strange comment of “death is a harsh sentence” in Arabella’s scene, see the post Astarion's Standards and Manipulation) while condemning innocent ones; all with the goal of having a decent amount of living creatures to offer to the local vampire or to the slave traders.

We also know, by his own words in game, that when he was turned into a vampire, he had been the victim of an attack of thugs/Gurs (he says this information in different moments of the game, changing details. I don't know if this is on purpose to show Astarion’s manipulative nature depending on your reaction to Gandrel, or it’s a consequence of unpolished details during EA). What we know for sure is that these Gurs/thugs were angry because of a judgement he had previously made. It’s easy for us to infer, using the info above, two situations:

Astarion may have condemned some isolated Gur to an unfair trial who ended up in a slavery network, being discovered later by their Gur fellows who simply avenged them in Baldur’s Gate. This theory has been developed as a way to see fit the concept of Maiden Fel.  If Gandrel dies and Astarion performs a Speak with Dead, he will reveal that Maiden Fel is the head of his tribe who asked him to return with Astarion “unblemished”. Digging for more details about who Maiden Fel is, Gandrel says she is the “reason even monsters have nightmares”. Walking on the speculation ground, there is a chance that Maiden Fel could be a nightmare Hag, since Gurs consider hags as “wise women'', and unlike the rest of the humans, they respect them a bit more than common folks.

Or the whole setting was done by Cazador, who plotted this ambush to make it look as an act of barbarism using furious Gurs (which attack could be seen as an obvious reaction since Gurs are despised everywhere due to their nomadic lifestyle and all the stigmas they carry) as a way to punish Astarion for trying to outsmart him.

Among the many conclusions that we can draw from here is that, if Astarion’s backstory is not retconned and rewritten later in the full game, we can be almost sure he was an Evil-aligned character as a mortal. We can’t say that vampirism twisted his morals; they were rather poor in the first place. 

Astarion, the Vampire spawn

After the bite scene, Astarion presents himself as a vampire spawn, a creature lesser than a slave for his master, since Cazador’s commands are impossible to resist. He explicitly says that his body always reacts to Cazador’s word and for two hundred years he was tormented by him. Thanks to datamining information, we know that Cazador performed an infernal deal, and part of the contract is carved on his back. 

Due to datamining information as well, we know that the first dream that Astarion experiences may not be the one related to the tadpole dreams mechanics since he dreams without having made use of the tadpole powers yet. I prefer to suppose that this dream is product of his own psychology, or even it could be an effect of Cazador’s power on him (maybe he can’t dream of anything but of his Sire, considering how possessive Cazador is)

As I said, this is not a dream of power and desire in the same way that the other companions or Tav have, and for this reason I’m inclined to say that the vampiric power of Cazador is the one making an effect instead of the tadpole (or simply Astarion’s trauma showing). This dream looks like a reminder, like a reiterative dream for Astarion about Cazador’s rule, which are:

rule 1: he will not drink from thinking creatures.

rule 2: he will obey him in all things.

rule 3: he will not leave Cazador’s side unless directed.

rule 4: he will know that he is Cazador’s proprietary.

Most options end up in the similar idea of: “Free? Lie to yourself, boy, but not to me. You are mine, forever.”

Cazador and Astarion

[Astarion has just related what Cazador made him eat] “Flies? What did you do to deserve that?”

“I existed, that was enough for him. He revelled in having power over me, because those with power can do whatever the hell they want.”

If we are going to talk about power with a character as Astarion in mind, we need to talk first about Cazador. Let’s start with the way Astarion describes him:

“The biggest threat to a vampire is another vampire. They're scheming, paranoid, power hungry beasts. So why would any vampire give up control over a spawn to create a competitor? Trust me, it doesn't happen.”

“Cazador Szarr is a vampire lord in Baldur’s Gate. The patriarch of his coven and a monster obsessed with power.(...) Not political power or military power. Power over people. The power to control them completely. (...) He turned me nearly two hundred years ago. I became his spawn and he became my tormentor.” 

“He had me go out Baldur’s Gate to fetch him the most beautiful souls I could find. It was a fun little ritual of his—I’d bring them back and he’d ask if I wanted to dine with him. And if I said yes, he’d serve me a dead, putrid rat. Of course if I said no, he’d have me flayed. Hard to say which was worse.”

“Cazador liked to make them art, spent all night with a razor, drafting a sonnet on my back. (Puppy eyes) Apparently the more I screamed, the more mistakes he made. And the more editing was required.”

“It was a group of Gur/thugs that attacked me that night in Baldur’s Gate. I would have died had Cazador not appeared and saved me. (...) He chased them off and offered to save me. To give me eternal life. Given that my choices were “eternal life” or “bleed to death on the street”, I took him up on the offer. It was also afterwards I realised just how long “eternity” could be.” 

“Cazador likes to toy with people. Let them think there was hope right until the end. Until he snatched it all away. Creatures like them don’t play games unless they know they’ll win.” 

(About Raphael’s encounter) “All that 'take your time. I'll wait' nonsense? He's playing with us. It reminds me of Cazador, taunting his slaves with hope when he knew the game was rigged. "

Tav: “Would he send another Gur to capture?” / Ast: “Yes, he probably thought it was funny.”

(“We can kill him.”) “No, you don't understand. You don't know him. Just trust me when I say we need to be careful. He'll send more lackies – he has plenty of souls to command. We just have to be vigilant. Keep our wits about us. And kill any monster hunters on sight. We can probably make an exception with Wyll... Probably.”

>>So far we know that Cazador has a particular pleasure for control, especially the one related to people’s will. With the nightmare information, we know he has powers related to mind control. He has many slaves, and enjoys cruelty, humiliation, and torture. He enjoys making Astarion eat putrid animals, carving his back with an infernal contract, and playing psychologically with him. He also likes to give false hope, making his victims believe that there is hope, removing it right in front of them. 

I want to highlight that this twisted way of giving hope just to offer a perverted solution to a person’s problem, and enjoying the pleasure caused by the break of the hope, can be seen in Astarion during EA: in the approval that Astarion gives to Tav when you revive Connor, and that pinch of hope in Mayrina turns into horror when she sees Undead!Connor. For Astarion this situation is “funny”. Similar can be said when he approves telling Arabella’s parents that she will be released after the end of the ritual, when she is in fact dead. 

Astarion describes a bit more what power we should expect from a Lord Vampire:

Shapeshift: turning into mist.

Calling wolves to do his bidding.

Shrugging off blows.

He “could walk into our camp tonight and kill you with his bare hands.”

Astarion and Slavery

One of the characteristics that so far in EA has got my attention was how little conflict Astarion has with slavery, despite having been his former condition. 

He is apathetic to slavery in the best case, or even supporting it in the worse case. Proof of this can be found in the Myconid Colony, when interacting with a duergar slave. He speaks as if it were a totally useful tool that inspires little sympathy in him, since they don't have consciousness. However, he leaves a quite open question when finally adding “Or maybe not”.

But this “maybe not” is not left to speculation, we can see what Astarion truly feels with a non-Gur human slave in another part of the game: in the Zhentarim hideout. This can be checked with Oskar, the painter slave.

You can free Oskar using persuasion with his kidnapper (Astarion keeps neutral, he doesn’t approve the freeing). Now, if you can buy Oskar by paying the gold directly or by using intimidation to lower the price, it would keep Astarion neutral until the moment of the payment is stated, which he disapproves. At first I thought it was because he was truly against slavery of thinking creatures... but it was not. It was because you are paying a lot of money (we need to remember Astarion is greedy [1] as well, he wouldn’t be a vampire if it weren't for his greed). 

Once bought, if you keep Oskar as a slave, and you demand him to keep silent because "you want your slaves silent unless they are spoken to", Oskar will think it's a joke, and you, again, can use the option "I don't joke with my slaves" and then Astarion will approve. None of these options is under any tag to make them believe they are part of a preformative act to prank Oskar. And this is key... this is not a joke. They are used as your real sentiments and intentions, and Astarion approves them.

These reactions are not random, they make sense with his—until this moment unchanged or retconned—backstory, where he had no problem trafficking with criminals as vampire food and later as slaves to have higher profits. So, these two aspects remain in his vampire nature unaltered: the most important thing is always to have profits, and his relationship with slavery is absolutely fine as much as it gives benefits, it’s useful or at least, gives him some entertainment.

The tadpole

We know the tadpole has a particular effect on Astarion. Unlike the other companions, Astarion doesn’t dream of a person who represents to him both desire and power. Power? undoubtedly, but desire? It’s hard to say. The implied, vague concept that Astarion has been sexually abused by Cazador is there (because we know these dreams are about “sensual” desire as well). 

It’s maybe a consequence of the vampirism and, by extension, of Cazador’s power, that makes Astarion unable to dream of anything else but his master. From the datamining information about the non-tadpole dream of Astarion, in which Cazador lists four rules, we know that the fourth one is about never stopping to be Cazador’s propriety, unable to be free, not even in dreams. Maybe Cazador’s effect also applies to Astarion’s dreams as well (but this is a mere speculation, there is no real proof of it on EA or datamining info so far). 

So when Astarion awakes in the beach and sees that some rules of his vampiric nature have been changed, he gets excited about the tadpole, and unlike the rest of the companions, he doesn’t want to get rid of it. He wants to master it, to have control of it. However, when the opportunity of controlling the tadpole appears with Raphael encounter, Astarion is one of the few companions who is completely against it at first. 

“Raphael is playing with us; Cazador liked to toy with people too. Let them think there was hope right until the end. Until he snatched it all away. Creatures like them don't play games unless they know they'll win.”

In that moment, he claims he won’t change a vampiric master for an infernal one. However, when the first use of the Tadpole causes the first symptoms of transformation evident, Astarion falls in despair: he is scared and, calling for Raphael to take him from the camp, he says a curious phrase: 

“I would choose servitude over oblivion any day”

So, after this moment, he is not completely convinced that Raphael is the true solution to his problem but he is more open to keep him as a plan B if anything else fails. Later he claims that it doesn't matter to be a servant of a devil, because he knows Cazador, and he wants to get rid of his power for good. 

“I won't lie, it's tempting. If I keep the tadpole, I risk transforming into a grotesque monster. If I lose the tadpole, Cazador has control of me, body and soul, and I return to the shadows. It's grim either way, so why not sell what's left of my soul to a devil? Better he has it than cazador. Whatever it's coming we need to have our options open.”

Astarion’s process of seeing the potential of the power of the tadpole increases along the game. It gets higher and wilder. The first instances of the tadpole use are about Astarion discovering how much this tadpole gives him powers he can barely understand. 

“The tadpoles are not so bad at all. (...) First I can walk in the sun, then make people dance like puppets? *laughs * I've certainly had worse days.”

He is not an idiot, he knows that, without control, they will end up turning into mind flayers, so he needs to find something powerful that can give him control over his tadpole. This is the reason why he encourages the use of the tadpole after knowing about the netherese magic containing the transformation via Omellun or Ethel.

Ethel explains that the tadpole had been tampered, so the dialogue goes:

Tav: “It's giving us more time, sounds good to me”. 

Astarion: “Perhaps. And who's to say it can't be tampered with further?” (She said it was netherese magic) “it must be powerful magic to stop the parasite in its tracks, I wonder what else it could do?

At that point in the story, he knows that the netherese magic is powerful enough to contain the transformation: so he is now sure that there is more time to use it. So he will end up being the only companion in EA who encourages everyone to use the power:

“What's not to enjoy (with this tadpole)? I can walk in sunlight, trespass upon any home, manipulate minds – I'm the most powerful vampire in the realms. Granted, the looming doom is an issue, but why not enjoy the benefits while we can?

Despite the nightmares happening after every use of the tadpole powers, Astarion doesn’t want to stop. At this point, he is the only companion who doesn’t want to. 

“The power to twist a mind to your will is worth some nightmares.”

By the end of the game, we are sure that Astarion wants this power without doubts. He revels in the power of mind-controlling people, ironically, despite having suffered so much of it under Cazador’s control. If we see all the situations where Astarion’s mind is controlled, or violated, his reactions will be extremely more aggressive than the other companions. He has suffered it a lot, but by the end of EA he is enjoying being on the other side of that power. 

This post was written on April 2021. → For more Astarion: Analysis Series Index

[chaos-caffeinated]

Emotions can help you remember (1/3) (Sebastian x Reader)

A/N: Hi everyone, it’s chaos here with a new story on this shared blog- who knew right? Well, I thought, okay maybe I got and obsesed over a character I thought I had cycled in 2013/4, but no. This is my contribution to Black Butler, finally after being updated in the manga. I hope you enjoy this piece just as much as I enjoyed it. 

Not requested

Rated: NSFT / 18+

A/N: I am a fucking sucker for plot, so this will be like a 2-parter, maybe 3-parter over 10,000+ words before even getting remotely close to the smut....ayayayay, this is what happens when you have too much time.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Now then, again.” his voice was the richest, smoothest voice with the right amount of sulk into it instructed you to repeat the french phrase in front of you. 

You were currently taking French lessons from Sebastian as you stayed over with Lord Phantomhive for a couple of days. You were being used as a decoy to the case of the missing noble girls. You were the daughter of a merchant, more of an intern for Nina Hopkins. She constantly admired your body, your face, your complexion- everything about you was perfect and she was to use you like the perfect model “you were meant to be”. However, when the door to the shop opened and walked in a short, well-dressed teenager with grayish hair with an eye-patch over his right eye with a man walking behind him; black-clad, black hair, pale, white skin, those crimson eyes, and those lips of his that enticed you the moment your eyes landed on him, you sensed something non-well.

You were organizing the fabric that was sent, until you heard the ring, you turned slightly to greet the costumers, “Hello, welcome to Hopkins’ Tailor Shop.” You smiled warmly at the costumers. When Nina appeared from the next room, she expressed her excitement, admiring the physique he was in, “The earl as beautiful as always.” She dramatically placed the back of her hand on her forehead, “Of course it’s only the few people here in England with such magnificent body! I am truly blessed with these canvases!~” 

You noticed the earl’s lip twitch, but maintaining his cool so that he wouldn’t offend her. As you tilted your head in an observing state -the man behind noticing this- he cleared his throat softly to regain the focus, reading from a small notebook he withdrew from his pocket, “Miss Hopkins, we are here today so you would tailor a few suits for the young master regarding an upcoming meeting with the Lord of Visdral.” the man explained, assuming he was the butler by the mannerisms as well as the language he spoke, “This meetings is regarding about discussing further achievements that could aid in Funtom’s Company be located in the Northern European countries.” 

You listened, and like Nina taught you- you thought. You knew very little, but barely enough to rack up a few ideas, but the mistress of the Tailor will always be ahead of her game. However, she turned around, her eyes on you, ”(Y/N)! Let’s test your abilities, of course I have many -and I mean many choices!- but if you want to fully work here, I need to trust your instincts, let’s work on the suits for him- shall we?” and she proceeded to unbutton her skirt, revealing her well-known outfits that permitted the ease to manuever as well as the activity that she is allowed to.

You smiled, sat the fabrics you held in your arms on the counter and nodded, “Yes, Madam!” You grinned with confidence.

~

The butler glanced  at your expressions every chance he could and you noticed it. Nina had provided a wooden divider to give you the privacy needed to create the suits,knowing it was your first real opportunity to tailor for someone. The pressure was on, especially when he started making his way to you. Sometimes your eyes wanted to see him, you wanted to look at him once more, but you had to maintain focus. So, when you heard the heels stop at a distance, you were legitimally surprised to hear his voice, “If I may ask, how is it going along?” He asked in a sweet manner, “I assume the suit is coming well if Miss Hopkins is entrusting your inquiries.” He smiled politely as he remained still. 

You had to turn your back as you focused on a piece to avoid him from noticing the red tint across your cheeks, “It is going well I suppose. And as for the inquiry, I’m sure Madam just wanted me to test my skills as I haven’t gotten the opportunity to do so.” You added, also justifying your actions.

Still smiling, the butler commented, “My lady, I assure any suit you create will be much better than the controversy Miss Hopkins creates-” 

“I heard that, you old-fashion geez!” Bickered Nina as she sneered towards him, “Your old-fashions have no rights to be here, and my dear (Y/N) will be better than me in means of creating the most beautiful, and trendiest outfits in the United Kingdom. Sweetie, don’t listen to this senile.” Nina insulted the butler with every sense of herself. 

The man looked physically attacked and turned to argue with your madam. You had to hold in the laughter, forcing yourself back to your creation when you noticed even the earl slightly irritated, almost like this was the 100th time he has seen them bickering and he did not want to be apart of this ordeal. That alone gave you the slight confidence needed to present your suit to him. 

While Nina successfully managed to get under the butler’s nerves, you announced, “Earl of phanatomhive, Madam, I have finished.” You smiled, pushing your chest slightly with confidence in your suit. 

Getting the attention of all three, the earl stood up with a sigh of relief, “Finally, for once I’d like to hear someone else. Sebastian.” He called out, the butler responding by standing next to him  while remaining behind. His crimson red eyes maintained his attention while Nina stood the other side of the earl, “Alright, (Y/N), show us what you have.”  She grinned with pride, hoping that you would surpass her, though her standards were extremely high. 

Folding up the divider, the suit was displayed to the three. It was a black suit with mutliple white highlights at the cuffs, even the rims held a golden thread, minimally used at the areas. The suit was longer with slimness in the middle, adding emphasis to his waist, the cloth underneathh the suit were white cloth that seemed perfectly cut, mimicking feathers. There was a minimal bustle added that pushed the cloth to resemble the feathers underneath. 

Now feeling nervous, feeling a breeze that could be able to sweep you from the shop to the void, you gulped some salive, let out a small breath and began to explain, “Though this suit is exactly nothing under Madam’s standards, I thought it was appropiate for the meeting. I am aware that the meeting is a casual, business one, with potential deal, so I considered the nobles in the Northern European countries. However, I remember looking over some pictures with Madam, how noblemen and women avoid presenting themselves in the standing...she was disappointed, so with that information I acquired, I believe this suit is subtle enough, yet rightfully suitable to appear in a business meeting.” Now you got closer to feel the fabric between your fingers, following the highlights, “Simple colors such as blue, red, green, etcetera mean countless of symbolic meanings, so using these shades instead would be much more efficnet to emit not only a reaction, but to introduce yourself without saying so.” You glanced across your audience. 

Madam was ready to cut the whole thing off, her expression was not only shocking, but her eyebrows were furrowed in a confused expression. The earl, however, looked as if he was interested, listening attentively with his left hand resting on the cane and his right forefinger and thumb carressing his chin. The butler, or Sebastian, stood still with the politness he presented. Out of all of them, he seemed to be genuinely interested in your piece and your explanation. So, you continued. 

Your feet fidgeting slightly, your rolled your shoulders slightly and proceeded, “The shade of black is very known to be symbolized as not only death, struggle, evil: the color is highly interpreted into meanings that represent despair and anything that is beyond good to be avoided. However, the color black also symbolizes mystery, no one knows who you are, and it is always hard to look beyond the color black. When you are to meet with the Lord of Visdral, you are not only introducing yourself as a business partner, but as any being you want to intriduce yourself as. Respect will get you anywhere, not everywhere- but anywhere, so this suit is also a respect of showing your being to someone else. Moving onto the final shade, white, my lord, could you perhaps tell me how you see white?...” You asked timidly, but when glancing at Sebastian, he must’ve noticed your shyness and he raised his own chest slightly and lifted his chin up a bit as well. Subconsciously, you rose your chest a bit and lifted your chin a bit as well. 

Looking back at the earl, he simply smirked, “The color white is known by many places...purity, innocence, goodness...” and you may have noticed a slight hesitancy on his part, “and virginity.” he stood with pride. 

Smiling and nodding in agreement, you praised him, “Right my lord, people do associate this bright shade as such, but going back to interpretations, this shade does not represent as such, in your case, it can mean a successful beginning for the Funtom Company.”

Sebastian’s eyes widen slightly in interest, his smirk widening as he glanced down at his young master who was also surprised at the response. He noticed his smile widening slightly and taking a gulp. 

“...Do take me as impressed, Miss...?” The earl tilted his head slightly, his ear more noticeable to hear your name, and you responded. 

“(L/N), my lord.”

“Miss (L/N), you did a pleasant job in such craftmanship and your meaning behind it was impeccable.” He stepped forward towards the suit, you responding by stepping aside. You tilted your head forward out of respect and couldn’t see what he was doing. 

Sebastian watched you with an immense stare, his interest was piqued, “Miss. Hopkins, I do believe you have a wonderful intern, capturing my young master’s attention with such a beautiful piece no less. I didn’t think you would capture my kind of fashion.” He smirked mockingly towards, seeing her glare at him. 

You blushed at his words, slightly facing away to avoid eye contact. 

Nina fumed at his comment, “Your fashions are senile just like you, she didn’t do it for you- she did it for the young master!”

“You are right in many things, Miss (Y/N).” The earl complimented, taking the white cloth between his fingers as he glanced at you, “The mystery in me, the symbolisms- why, you could’ve fooled me if you were a undercover intern for Miss. Hopkins when you are a noble yourself.”

You bowed slightly, “Thank you my lord for such compliments, but I assure you that I was just blessed to have found the people along my life to give me this knowledge.”

“Blessed, hm?...then I am very much grateful, though for such a small meeting such as this one you made a very thought out piece- do excuse me.” The earl turned, “Nina, would you show me the suits you made?” 

 Oh, so it was just an excuse to stop them from bickering like they had before, you smiled in an amused way that when you watched him walk with the madam, you failed to notice Sebastian make his way to your side, “I do believe I was very rude to not introduce myself, for that I aplogize deeply.” His sulky voice interuppted your thoughts, surprising you nonetheless. Seeing him bow, you waved your hands lightly, “Nonono- it’s completely alright, I was working on it, it was me who should’ve apologized instead. I neglected your presence over something like a suit..”

“But a suit you made as exquisite should be recognized, Miss. (L/N). I am Sebastian Michaelis, head butler of the Phantomhive Manor.” he smiled with his eyes closed, before he revealed the crimson eyes that intrigued you, “It’s not hard to believe that a lady such as a yourself would be working under someone like Nina Hopkins, someone known for her controversies in styles, you not only piqued my interest, but my master as well, not many are succesful.”

You smiled, even intertwining your fingers in front of you, “Thank you so much Sebastian, but it is because of Miss. Hopkins that I learned to do this. Simple, yet complex. And I also like to thank you as well for that tip you gave me when explaning the meaning behind it. Without the explanantion, I believe Madam would not have thought it was good enough to display without my reasoning.” You sighed softly in relieved, placing your hand on your sternum. 

Sebastian’s lip curled slightly more to make a smirk, his eyes even widening slightly for a mere moment, “Well of course, a piece of clothing to have such intricate reasoning deserved to be heard. Which, if you don’t mind me asking, how did you even go to that convoluted explanantion?” He asked in a curious manner. 

“Well, it’s an intuition really, the earl walks in and the same thought appears like any other costumer, ‘Who is he?’ “What piece of clothing would he be looking for?’ then...you walk in...” this time, when you mentioned him, he shifted slightly, his emotion remained, but his eyes told you something, “Oh?...Do tell Miss. (L/N), you managed to keep me on edge the entire time.” He smirked.

“Your whole entirety is black, Sebastian, you are the mystery that I am completely curious about you, so for a master like him- that mystery resides in himself as well. I meant it when I said about interpretations- it means anything and everything...including the white.”

Sebastian’s eyebrows quirked sligthly, taking that as another surprise on his part, “You are so much more that what you lead on, Miss. (L/N). So, I assume the white, with successful beginning is a reference to the mystery behind his right eye?” He propose which you blushed softly, smiling sheepishly, “A bit?...” You coward, only to hear a few tongue clicks from him, “Miss. (L/N), staring is very rude.” His teasing made you blush even further, and for a moment, for a single moment...

You understood how Nina Hopkins felt, and how she rose to despise him. 

You nodded, slowly, your lips pursed but not in anger. You weren’t angry, you saw the interaction between Madam and Sebastian- you know he can say things that can cause her to lash and get a chuckle in. And it’s not his fault too, she also started something to piss him off. 

“I wasn’t staring, Sebastian...it’s my job to assist Madam, observe the client for potential ideas and offer them if asked.” You raised your chest and lifted your chin. 

On the inside, Sebastian felt completely intrigued, his interest for you had increased and he wndered if it would be worth the while since he was under contract with Ciel. The way you bit back had him hoping to return with him for the slight entertainment, and knowing you can be like this meant he can continue, “So you did just that, and even risked your Madam by possibly offending the young master?”

Now you looked confused, “My word, Mr. Michaelis, to assist the Madam is to perform at her level, if not different to satisfy the client’s wishes by reading their behavior. The earl could have stopped his head butler from a dispute with a highly-respected tailored woman, but he remained quiet and irritated. Therefore, he is conservative, knowing full well of your relationship with her and still letting it slide. Smart nobleman, for someone who is younger than all the noblemen in England, he doesn’t waste time on small things like- so with that, Mr. Michaelis, I tried to emphasize it when others meet him: he is not just a child, he is a true nobleman.” and with that, you stepped forward, having to look at a higher angle to continue the eye contact, your chests nearly touching. 

If Sebastian could somehow turned the lady in front of him into a kitten with a simple collar, he wouold just as easily do it. He almost -almost- got a tingle from how this human lady owned him with just words. Now he hoped more often to see her, to challenge her, to talk to her, just everything. 

“I apologize, Miss. (L/N), you were right. It’s important to read a client. But, my lady, I warn you if you read someone too much, you might regret it later.” He smirked, and when he was called, he stepped back and bowed slightly before walkign to his master to assist him in picking up the suits he decided on. 

He included the suit you made, of course, and the earl walked up to you, “Miss. (L/N), thank you again, your first time making a tailored suit is simply wonderful. it won’t be long before I return for another one.”

You thanked him, watched him leave only for your eyes to travel back to Sebastian who caught you, smirking softly “Until next time, Miss. (L/N).” before entering after his master in the carriage  

 And sure enough, after a few weeks, they would be returning to the shop, not for suits, but for you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

2nd PART: https://chaos-caffeinated.tumblr.com/post/624096941187481600/emotions-can-help-you-remember-part-2-sebastian

A/N: Holyyyyyyyyyy damn that was amazing- whooo is this what ectascy feel like because that was a rush. I did not want to rush it but holy damn did that feel good!!! I admit I ma not as good as interptreting and as capturing of the dynamic duo as I did not expect because this is really the first time I’m writing these two since my first cycle of fan-girling and I was just too damn excited not to write it out and practice. I’ll be posting the second chapter when I can, but please do not hesitate to leave comments, share, any criticism you have (I know that some fans can be hardcore to the strictness of writing the character exactly as descriptive, sooo...I like that, I like that shit, so do tell). Thank you all and good morning/afternoon/nioght/day/moment/secoond. 

So it did feel a little rush towards the end because it did get too long for my liking for a SUPPOSED ONESHOT...but like I said, I a sucker for plot, so if you like plot- you are in the right place bb!

[savior-of-humanity]

OKAY here are my Thoughts(tm) about The Ancient Gods part II

ALSO: MASSIVE FUCKING SPOILER WARNING FOR THE ANCIENT GODS PART 1 + 2. BE WARNED THIS IS LONG AS FUCK. TL;DR AT BOTTOM.

In terms of the gameplay: I really liked how it played! The combat encounters weren’t downright vicious like in the first DLC, but they still go out of their way to mix things up (i.e a hallway filled with explosive barrels + blood punch pick-ups + Pinkies, or the double-Marauder encounter that you could ACCIDENTALLY FUCKING BUFF JESUS CHRIST) so it was still fun all around.

The new enemies added - the Cyber-Baron/Armored Baron, Riot Zombie/Chaingunner, Screecher Zombie, Stone Imp, and Cursed Prowler - are...okay. I like the idea of new enemy variants based off pre-existing ones but they felt either really fucking frustrating to fight (particularly the Cursed Prowler and Chaingunner) or were very “simple”, I guess. The Stone Imps, in particular, are a variant of Imp that are very resistant to damage unless you use the full-auto mod for the shotgun, in which they drop even more shotgun ammo if they’re killed by that. Other than that they do a Sonic-style spin-dash and slam into you, which can actually knock you off a ledge. Screecher Zombies are basically just mobile hazards that if you accidentally hit, will act like temporary Buff Totems. Cursed Prowler is fucking awful: basically, if it hits you with a projectile, you’ll be cursed with a debuff that keeps you from double-jumping and dashing that also drains your health over time, and you HAVE to kill it with a blood punch in order to remove the curse. Chaingunners are basically just the Shield Zombie Soldiers, but they shoot faster and have an indestructable shield. And finally, the Cyber-Baron: It’s basically a Baron of Hell, but with indestructable armor that can only be destroyed by shooting it’s mace when it flashes green, or by shooting it with plasma. After the armor is gone you have to kill it as fast as you can before the armor is regenerated, repeat until it dies.

Summoner Ghosts and Blood Maykrs also make a return, which is cool.

The Hammer is cool to say the least. I was hoping to see some glory kills with it but considering that it’s primary use is to either clear out groups of small enemies or to stun larger ones like Barons, it makes sense that they’d omit glory kills from it. On top of that, Marauders now have a mechanic (for the entire game, not just the DLC) where when you shoot them as they flash green, they’ll become stunned (though the sound effects are rather corny and cartoonish, even for the game). Using the Hammer on a stunned Marauder will GREATLY extend that stun, which allows you to just fucking shit on them.

I also really liked the grapple-Hookshot points that you had to use to progress in a level. I’m still not really used to how you’re supposed to move in the opposite direction of the point to swing yourself, but the idea is intuitive, fun, and makes me wish it was in the base game and the previous DLC.

My biggest grievances with this DLC, however, is how it handled some of it’s characters, the story, and the new lore that was implemented in the codexes.

So first off: I want to say that while I still appreciate the DLC, that’s honestly only with the gameplay. The story, much less the lore, is fucking stupid to say the least.

To TL;DR the story: It is, quite honestly, bare-bones as fuck. We continue from where we directly left off from the Ancient Gods Part 1: Davoth/The Dark Lord is being summoned into existence and into his physical form, which for some reason looks exactly like Doomguy except with sick tats, glowing red eyes, and a weird implant in his chest. Doomguy, naturally, tries to spawncamp him and shoots him with his super-shotgun, but nothing happens as “no blood can be spilled in this holy place”. Davoth leaves, telling Doomguy that he’ll be waiting for him in the city of Immora, the capitol city at the very center of Hell.

Doomguy goes to Argent D’Nur. He murder-death-kills shit, as per usual. He goes into this big castle where a hologram of Valen is waiting for him. He tells him that he atones for his sins and gives him the Hammer since Doomguy lifted the curse from his son’s soul. He goes to the Torch of Kings and lights it, marking his journey to the giant crystalline spear that impales Argent D’Nur known as the World Spear. Cue cutscene of a bunch of different Argenta people/Night Sentinel seeing the light of the Torch of Kings from all over Argent D’Nur. Internguy tells him that it’s a day’s walk still from the World Spear, and conveniently a very fucking awesome looking Argenta dragon shows up and gives him a ride to the World Spear.

Doomguy gets to a lake that separates him from the World Spear. The Father says “He is worthy” and then a bridge rises out of the water. Doomguy crosses past some big ass Sentinel ghosts/guardians and into the World Spear. Turns out the inside of the World Spear is like some giant, fucked up ship made out of crystal, with weird figures lining the wall and all that: Internguy even says “This isn’t a crystal at all, this is a ship!” This does not get expanded upon whatsoever in neither dialogue or codexes. Doomguy grabs Convenient Power Crystal and leaves.

Doomguy arrives on Earth through a portal, which is looking substantially better than since its invasion. Internguy tells him that a Convenient Ancient Portal close by is the only way to Immora. Doomguy kills shit, arrives at portal, activates it with Convenient Power Crystal, and leaves.

Doomguy arrives in front of a giant wall surrounding Immora. Davoth walks out, wearing a big ass power suit that looks like something straight out of Warhammer 40k. He’s surrounded by guards in cool red armor with cool spears that look very humanoid. He says some shit and a bunch of Hell-ships and demons and titans start showing up. But then surprise! A bunch of portals open up on Doomguy’s side like it’s fucking Infinity War/Endgame all over again and a fuckload of Sentinels start coming out, with mechs and dragons and spaceships. Valen is there. Doomguy and Valen stare at each other for like 5 seconds before Valen says “Let Hell tremble before our might!” or some shit like that. Doomguy fights, gets past the wall, fights some more inside the city. Again, the usual.

I also want to briefly point out that Immora is basically just a Maykr city but red, and that it’s apparently “Hell’s own technology.” Also, the red dudes in armor are actual enemies but the guns they have (the hell-razor from 2016) do piss-poor damage and they die if you so much as breathe on them.

Doomguy finally catches up to Davoth. Davoth monologues about how he’s going to get his revenge and that it’s inevitable, bla bla bla. Fight begins. It’s basically Marauder 2.0 but if he hits you and/or you shoot him at the wrong time he heals a fuckload of health. And also 5 different health bars. After you knock down 2 or 3 of his bars he stops the fight to monologue for some fucking reason? And then shits out a plot twist that surprise, he’s actually the real God, and that the Father betrayed/usurped his power, and that he will “unmake everything by his hand.” Fight resumes. Doomguy eventually beats him. Davoth asks him if he has anything to say before he strikes down his creator. Doomguy takes off his helmet, stabs Davoth in the heart, and says no in his stupid sexy voice. Davoth dies, his life-sphere emerges and then explodes. Doomguy suddenly becomes weak and falls over. The Father says “He created everything in his image, even you.” Doomguy passes out and wakes up to see 3 Seraphim seal him in a sarcophagus like the one from 2016. Fade to black, with the quote “May the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.” End game, roll credits.

If you hadn’t read any of the codexes while playing the DLC, the story probably makes little to no sense to you whatsoever. But honestly the codexes don’t expand upon things much and, if anything, just fucking make some aspects of the story even more stupid.

The World Spear is implied in the codex that it contains live Wraiths (“A live Wraith has not been seen in centuries, but rumors persist that some yet remain inside the World Spear itself.”), and while the figures in the World Spear could be Wraiths, absolutely nothing is said about them out of three Codexes related to the level, which honestly just makes me wonder the point of adding this stuff if you don’t even give a single sentence of why the interior of the World Spear is Like That.

The codex entries related to Earth are basically uninteresting as they’re pretty much just “humanity is rebuilding and views doomguy as a hero”. There is one about the Convenient Ancient Portal (Gate of Divum) but all it really says is that it was built and used by the Father to access Immora. Nothing about why it’s on Earth, or anything interesting like that.

However, the real bullshit comes in when we start to look at the codex entries related to Immora and Davoth.

So, Immora is the central - and oldest - city in Hell. It’s described as such: “Once a paradise at the dawn of creation, Immora now survives as a stronghold where the Dark Lord resides. Sustained now by the essence of Hell's victims, the people of Immora experience life eternal. Regular infusions of Hell energy have prevented them from transforming into the demons found outside the boundaries of the city. Ancient technology defends Immora from invaders, the high walls impenetrable to those who would bring harm to the last people of the first world.“

Yeah. So not only did Hell have high-tech technology all this time, but also the red guys in armor? Those are Immorans. Which is weird to me, because if Hell had this super advanced technology that’s also ancient, and thus around for a long time, why the hell are we only seeing it now?

Also, surprise! Turns out the Book of Seraphs is a complete fucking lie according to the very first codex entry related to Davoth! (”Our research shows that Maykr history and lore holds truths that are not consistent with passages found in the Hell Priest texts, revealing the true origins of Hell and all surrounding dimensions. This revelation would explain why Hell is the single dimension that connects to all others, and why it is the oldest in existence - the first world.”)

The real truth is that Davoth is the real Creator/God, and that Jekkad was the very first realm, not Urdak. He still sought immortality for his people, so he created the Maykrs to figure it out for him. They did, but decided it would be too dangerous to give Davoth that information, so they basically said “fuck you” and sealed Jekkad/Davoth while re-writing their own records to hide the truth. Obviously, this pissed off Davoth. So much so that he basically became super angry and emo and became the Dark Lord from all the vengeance and hatred (which also turned Jekkad into Hell.)

Another surprise! Turns out that Davoth had a hand in the creation of the fucking Doom Slayer! Because he wanted to get revenge against the Maykrs, he started to manipulate a bunch of people while he was trapped as a life sphere I guess. He started with the Khan Maykr, convincing her that there was a “chosen one” who would threaten her rule and thus making her paranoid as fuck. He then guided her into creating the Divinity Machine using a fragment of himself that had been sealed in Urdak. Then he manipulated Samur, by convincing him that “the Khan Maykr will lead us all to ruin.” He was then controlled and compelled to release a stranger from his prison (Doomguy) and empower him using the Divinity Machine.

As you can probably guess, he got his revenge since Doomguy would go on to utterly fuck Urdak/the Khan Maykr (as well as Samur), and ever since he knew that his “Beast” would come for him.

Listen. I don’t really mind the idea of Doomguy being used or even manipulated by different godly powers. Or even Davoth being the real God or whatever. But this new lore and story just feels... really sloppy and poorly executed, especially since it directly conflicts with the fucking base game. If he manipulated the Khan Maykr and wanted revenge against her, then why did he scream “NOOOOOO!” when Doomguy killed her?

And, if anything: Why the fuck does Davoth even look like Doomguy in the first place? Is it some form of mockery? Or did id just decide to fucking retcon the Doom Slayer being the same person as the Doomguy from Doom 1/2 with the Father’s line of “He created everything in his image -- even you.”

And, on top of that, the DLC just left more open questions than answers: what the fuck happened to Samur, since he isn’t even so much as mentioned beyond the codexes? Who is the Wretch, the being who had supposedly forged Doomguy’s armor back in 2016? What is the fate of Earth/Hell/Urdak/Argent D’Nur after the Slayer’s victory? What the fuck happened to the Demonic Crucible, the one from 2016? What about the ARC Carrier and the Fortress of Doom?

Finally, Valen, Internguy and the Father should’ve been far more involved in the story beyond just being either convenient voices telling you convenient stuff or (in the case of Valen) being a convenient guy to give you convenient weapon that also conveniently shows up with a giant army that doesn’t actually do anything but look cool in the skybox.

TL;DR The new lore and story of the DLC is basically garbage, and since I highly doubt id will change it I’m going to completely disregard it, write my own, and also take up Davoth as a muse because it seriously pissed me off that much.

[game-boy-pocket]

Well, now that they're all finally out... my feelings on each of the new Smash Bros characters is this.

Inkling was inevitable. But that doesn't mean I wasn't thrilled to see them. Splatoon is a great new IP, though I personally worry about how similar the games seem to be 3 main entries in, but that's nothing to do with Smash. Fun to play but hard to learn. A- ( the minus is for no Octo alt ).

Ridley felt like he should have been inevitable, but was fighting against some pretty strong biases. But he finally made it and i'm very happy. I do think he could have been a tad bit bigger though. Even if they had to slow him down a bit. A

Simon very happy with this character, and honestly surprised he didn't get in sooner. Castlevania may not be as strongly associated with Nintendo as it used to be, but it's one of the first games that come to mind when you think of the NES as well as the SNES. He was in a TV show with Megaman and Pit for goodness sake. And I enjoy using him. A- ( minus is only for no chronicles alt )

Richter was a cool addition, if there was one other Belmnot to be added, i'm glad it's him... but I am more of a Simon guy. Side note, I wish they took the echo fighter character a little further. It seemed like branding clones as echo fighters is all it took to make people more accepting of the idea, only for them to just stop short of three or four new ones, and not even include super obvious ones like Shadow the Hedgehog or Blood Falcon. Anyway A- ( minus is for no symphony of the night alt )

King K. Rool being revealed was one of my top five Smash moments. Donkey Kong is not a neglected Nintendo franchise. But it has undergone some changes that long time fans don't care for, including the removal of the main antagonist, this guy, who has a gigantic personality. He's a very fun character and it's so good to see him come back ( pls appear in the next DK game pls pls pls ) He also happens to be very fun to play as. A++

Isabelle is where Smash reveals kind of started to lose me a bit. Animal crossing is a big series and all but I really felt like the one villager is all the game really needed to properly represent the entire series. You don't need a lot for Animal crossing. And the fact that Isabelle was a relatively new character, who seemingly snatched the role of series mascot from Tom Nook, well it kind of rubbed me a little wrong. She seemed unnecesary... but she is actually more fun to play as than villager, and she's cute. So I don't totally hate her. B

Incineroar was a poor way to end the base game lineup for me. Pokemon just isn't a very respectible series anymore in my eyes and Sun/Moon was the first game in the series that I found too boring to finish. Pokemon just doesn't excite me, and with each new announcement, I'm becoming actively disgusted by it. I would have loved a wrestler character in the game, but the fact that it had to be a pokemon kind sullied it for me. Yeah, I just can't pretend to like this inclusion even if it is a huge Nintendo IP. C-

Dark Samus is a character I am kind of indifferent too. I didn't think we needed her, but I think she's a cool addition to the game. A bit of a waste to make her an echo though, her abilities are very different from Samus in the games if I remember right, I honestly don't remember much of Metroid Prime besides the first one. Still, she's cool. B+

Daisy is an oddball for me. I know she is in Super Mario Land, but her main identity comes from the Mario Spinoff games, and I just don't play those games. They don't appeal to me. I like Mario platformers. And to me, if a character is in spinoffs almost exclusively, they don't count as core Mario cast members. And frankly it's a little odd to me that she's plucking turnips and summoning Toads. The citizens of Sarasaland are not Toads. And she wasn't in Mario 2... but she's not hurting anything I guess so B+, needed "Hi i'm Daisy" taunt.

Chrom is a Fire Emblem Lord alright. He's also an echo. So I don't care. C

Piranha Plant honestly felt like a little bit of an insult to me. I've always hated when Mario games start featuring low level mooks without names as playable characters in the Mario spinoffs while ignoring the likes of Wart, Tatanga, E. Gadd, or th extended DK/Wario cast or RPG characters. It's part of why I don't care about Mario spinoffs. That being said... it is, at the very least, extremely fun to play as. B-

Joker may very well be the most out of place character in this series. He's certainly one of them. Maybe I would feel different if I played Persona, but I don't. So to me he's like the worst thing they added to this game. D-

Hero felt like he should have been in Smash Bros before cloud did. Dragon Quest may not be as popular in the west as it should be. But it's definitely the most important and influential JRPG to the history of video games... that being said, I wish the DQ3 hero was the default costume. I really enjoy playing as him. A+

Banjo and Kazooie finally getting in is without a doubt my favorite moment in Smash History. Not even Sonic got me as hyped as they did. I wish there was a way to make younger fans see this character the way us old timers do without seeming like we're trying to force them to like him, but it is what it is. I love these guys and they're my most played character. A+++

Terry is a character i'm not familiar with. He just kind of looks like a bootleg Ken to me. I think they could have picked a better SNK rep. Metal Slug would have been nice, shooters are sorely under represented in Smash. Do we have anybody besides Samus representing shooters? And she barely qualifies. C

Byleth is a Fire Emblem Lord alright. But you know what, they're honestly the only FE character that feels like they're representing the gameplay of Fire Emblem particularly well while the others were just kind of generic sword slingers... that being said... was this the best way to end fighter pass 1? B-

Minmin was not a character on my Radar. I thought it would have been Springman or no Arms character at all... I am just happy ARMS made it in at all... but really, it should have been base game content. If only to support the new IP. A-

Steve was a character I was opposed to at first. I saw him as a rival to Banjo. And I also saw Minecraft as a dumb zoomer game. A joke. But people made compelling arguments for the importance of minecraft, how successful it is, I actually downloaded Minecraft on my Switch, played it, had a relaxing time, I still play it, and I was actually able to play with my friends who don't own Nintendo consoles. It has cross play. The cross play is really what won me over as it being really cool to have in Smash, as it really brought me together with friends. Steve is tough to use, but great fun, as long as it's against a computer. I can't fight humans for shit, hah. A- ( the minus is for that cursed short enderman alt )

Sephiroth rubbed me the wrong way. Another Final Fantasy character wouldn't have been so bad, but did it have to be another FFVI character??? Couldn't it have been something from before FF made the jump to total steampunk/sci-fi to better represent the series roots? He's fun to use but idk, I just take no joy in him... at least we got more FF music I guess. C-

Pyra/Mythra is a character I have zero opinion on. B ( for booba )

Kazuya is not a character i'm familiar with, and if there had to be another fighting game character, one from Namco, I feel like Soul Calibur should have been it. Bring the Link crossover back around. It seems Tekken has no presence on Nintendo as well... but whatever. I have no strong feelings. He's fun to combo with but I suck as him. B-

Sora makes me sad. I don't dislike Sora. He has a fun design. I like the idea of Kingdom Hearts... I just think the story of those games is very weird and dumb and confusing, so the games themselves are kind of overrated. I really think people only like it for the pretty character models and intricate costumes. I thought people liked it for the Disney stuff but I'm suprised to hear most KH fans seem to want more FF stuff and less Disney stuff??? The only thing that makes the game unique??? Should be dialed back??? That being said... I don't like Disney. It is an evil company. And Disney getting in bed with Nintendo makes me very anxious. D

[razanartuk]

about me tag game thing

i was tagged by the wonderful @nothingunrealistic! thank you very much ily <3

under read more bc i was not capable of keeping my answers brief this time around

why did you choose your url?

this...was supposed to be a short explanation but it turned into quite a tale so strap in i guess because we are going on a ride. back in 2017 i was just getting into musical theatre rp and i was still feeling too shy to really talk to anyone ooc so i would just wait for people i wanted to interact with to post starter calls so i could just do things in character with them the easy way. So i did this with my friend cam, who posted a starter for me using a lyric from If I Could Tell Her. she linked the song so i could listen to it, so i did and i went ‘wait a minute, is that Ben Platt from Pitch Perfect?? (and other things too, but i only recognized his voice at the time bc of the acappella girl movies)’ and yes it certainly was.

i had zero idea what the plot of Dear Evan Hansen was about at that point, and for some reason based off Just That One Song and the poster art of who i assumed was Some Guy in a Polo Shirt i started to think it was about some jock guy who broke his arm and had an emo/goth friend who had either died or gone missing under mysterious circumstances. also i intuited that Evan had a crush on his friend’s sister but he couldn’t tell her that directly or his emo friend would kick his ass. so i was like mostly wrong, but a little bit right.

oh and i knew jared and alana were characters from the show bc cam said that they were i think?? but i had no idea what their role was. so after listening to if i could tell her, i listened to good for you and all i really got out of that was that evan the apparently not-jock guy had done...something... that really hurt jared and alana. and at that point i finally decided to go look up a plot synopsis and i found out i was waaay off base. but honestly this is why cast recordings should include scene dialogue in the songs bc otherwise you just get soundtracks like dear evan hansen where the songs have like. zero context. we really just go from waving through a window to for forever to sincerely me without like. any reason as to what is happening huh. It’s honestly not a surprise anymore that all those people on twitter had no idea the plot isn’t about gay teenagers.

anyways. cam was writing jared and she made a post at one point about wishing somebody would write alana and i was like ‘oh i could do that!’ (after i had actually Seen a bootleg and finally knew what the whole story was, of course) so i made a multimuse rp blog featuring alana beck, nabulungi hatimbi, chloe valentine and some other characters, and cam started sharing her headcanons with me that alana is trans, jared and alana were close friends when they were little kids but they sort of drifted apart as they got older and their priorities in life changed, jared was the first person alana came out to when she realized she’s trans, etc.

one night i started talking about wanting to pick a more theatre-relevant url for my blog and trans-[character name] urls were getting pretty popular, and at least 3 of the friends i made through rp had changed theirs to coordinating trans-[character name] and i think it was cam suggested i should make mine be trans-alana so i did. eventually i realized the unhyphenated version was available so i changed it to transalana with no hyphen and i have lived here ever since. sometimes i think about changing it but i feel like transalana has become a part of My Brand and i am not so great with coming up with cool names for things.

any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them

in theory, i have sideblogs... i don’t really use them, but of the ones i do have, there is:

emsbookblog - this was supposed to be where i would post excerpts of the book that i’m working on, but i think i did that maybe one time roughly 2 years ago and then promptly forgot about it/got nervous about my writing and was scared to share anything else. the rest of the stuff that is there is assorted writing tips. i don’t really know what to do with it now. i probably should post all my little thoughts about em and anita and caleb there instead of infodumping on my main from time to time, but if i do that then i have to promo a sideblog and direct people over to it which is always annoying to me when i could just do it on this blog which is much easier

dearnovelhansen - this is basically no longer used, but was a sideblog i made specifically to talk/complain about the novel adaptation of Dear Evan Hansen which was about 3 years ago?? maybe? i can’t be trusted to understand the passage of time. but to summarize: i thought it was an honor just to have the story be made more accessible since many of us couldn’t see the stage performance, but i hated a lot of the creative liberties that were taken. my main grumbles are that everyone who isn’t evan or connor is done so dirty in the novel. connor’s still kind of done dirty in the book, but not as much as like. heidi, alana, jared, and zoe are.

horseisle3 - this one was meant to be a place where i could just enthusiastically post screenshots from hi3, but instead it turned into a blog where i occasionally reblog other players’ hi3 content and bitch about how bad the game admins are bc hi3 is the tumblr famous (infamous?) homophobic horse game. the game where it was once okay to call your club store the gulag bc according to their head of hr, ‘it’s just a russian word for prison’ but you can’t say ‘im gay’ without somebody accusing you of corrupting young children who play the game. unfortunately there aren’t very many good interactive horse games out there, so this one is still about as good as it gets. it’s either that or star stable and i don’t care about star stable.

mlaenie - i’ve had this url saved for i don’t even know how long. way way way back in the day when i wanted to escape from the clutches of the onceler fandom i abandoned my first blog where i basically had an alter ego i guess?? and i decided to just be myself on the new blog. i don’t fully remember who came up with it, but one of my sister’s mutuals suggested that if you scrambled the letters in your name you could come up with aesthetic-looking urls. so lauren’s url became lrauen, and to match with her mine became mlaenie, which i abandoned on tumblr after about a year or so? but have continued to use as my main username on twitter, reddit, youtube, xbox, steam, and discord. i barely ever use any of these accounts aside from twitter, steam, and xbox, but yeah. so i’ve decided to try and turn this empty sideblog into a place for video game thoughts maybe. we’ll see how long it lasts this time around.

how long have you been on tumblr?

i made my first tumblr account in december of 2010, but i didn’t understand how to use it at all or how to customize my theme to look cool and unique so i quickly abandoned it. i made a new account in september of 2011 after some kids at school and my sister told me i should and i have been trapped here with varying degrees of activity/inactivity ever since. i have witnessed the rise and fall of the lorax/onceler fandom, hyperfocused on lord of the rings, star wars and back to the future all at the same time, and for the past 4 years i’ve mostly been a musical theatre blog with assorted other fandom stuff mixed in. i feel i have seen everything and nothing, but mostly i’m just tired and bored.

do you have a queue tag?

no bc i don’t use a queue. i’ve tried using it in the past but i irrationally feel pressured to sustain a coherent theme to queued posts and my brain simply does not vibe with that so i just don’t use it at all anymore. Instead i instantly reblog or post several unrelated thoughts in succession and then don’t post again at all for 3 days. the way god intended

why did you start your blog in the first place?

my very first blog was intended to be a place for me to post all of my petz 5 animals’ profile info, but i didn’t have any understanding of how coding worked at all and i don’t think i really wanted to learn, either. so it just sat there, unused. my second attempt at blogging was as a classic rock fandom person, so as you can probably imagine i was pretty pretentious about ‘modern pop’ vs the beatles, the rolling stones, the who, the monkees, and so on. and then i slowly devolved into a lorax fandom blog and everything went to shit so i made a new blog for lord of the rings/the hobbit which later evolved to include star wars and back to the future blogging. and then for the past 4 years i’ve been mainly a musical theatre blog with other random stuff i like thrown haphazardly into the pot. wonderful.

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because my url is transalana and two of my most prominent lgbt headcanons are that alana beck is trans and a lesbian. i gotta be shouting out @kinqmike though bc she’s the one i adopted the trans alana beck headcanon from in the first place!

why did you choose your header?

in 2017 i was hyperfixating on Dear Evan Hansen (and Be More Chill, but there weren’t many gif-able videos then considering it ran for a month in New Jersey in 2015 and there was only one yet-to-resurface 35 minute bootleg) so i just grabbed a random gif off of google. i really should get to replacing it with a new header of my own though. i just don’t know what i should do for it.

what’s your post with the most notes?

i have lost track of how many notes it has (i think it’s somewhere around 200 now?) but when Will Roland and George Salazar performed Two Player Game on Good Morning America, i posted a screencap of their Jeremy and Michael along with that one quiz answer meme that says stuff like ‘i want to see it grow up healthy’. i didn’t tag it with any ship names or anything because i was anxious about having it show up in the tags, but somebody who reblogged it from me did tag it as boyf riends and i firmly believe it took off because of that. i don’t think i make posts that are relevant enough to amass thousands of notes, even by accident. which is probably a good thing bc if i did i would have to block so many of them.

how many followers do you have?

on this blog? 175 according to the counter. how many of those are still real people and how many are bots and abandoned accounts? i have no idea.

how many people do you follow?

i try to keep it somewhere around 200. i think i’m sitting at 180 right now but i kind of need to go through and clear out the really inactive blogs.

have you made a shitpost?

let’s think about this for a second. i’ve been on tumblr for nearly 10 years. you might even be able to say i’ve made more than one. they’re just not what you would call...popular shitposts.

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?

that stuff makes me so incredibly anxious that i have to fight the urge to want to yeet my laptop or mobile device through the closest window whenever i read it, so i try very hard to avoid any sort of ‘if you don’t reblog this, i’m judging you’ posts. i find them very manipulative and not particularly helpful

do you like tag games?

yeah babey!! i just frequently forget to do them, but please know that if you have ever tagged me in a tag game i felt incredibly touched by the gesture and the @mention even if i completely forgot to do the thing afterward

do you like ask games?

i do! but also rip to literally anyone who has ever sent me an ask meme bc it takes me so long to answer them. i’m still working on a micro fic prompt from a few weeks ago. also, horrified to realized that it has in fact been a few weeks and not 3 days anymore.

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i don’t know that any are tumblr famous as a whole. but probably @neverheardnothing

do you have a crush on a mutual?

in any sort of romantic connotation? no. not that i’m aware of. there are mutuals that i have friend crushes on where i want to be friends with them but i get so anxious when it comes to meeting new people that usually nothing ever comes of it. i’m really not good at small talk or other casual conversation either which, as you may or may not be able to imagine, sucks. i just wanna skip over all of the awkward introductions and ‘hey how are you, how is life, what are you doing with yourself?’ stuff. not because i don’t care about it. i do, but i think most of my friends/the people i want to be my friends are also depressed and anxious so asking these basic questions about life tends to uh. make us all nervous. and i don’t do much with my life so i always have the most boring answers anyways.

i’m not tagging anyone officially bc the @ thing has just completely given up on me at this point, but if you want to do it, go for it. and then say i tagged you so i can read it c:

[your-turn-to-role]

Top 5 critical role npcs who are family members of player characters

you know i’m kind of honoured by how well you lot know me, all the questions i’ve got today have been so targeted at the shit i’m into

but oooooohhh, this is a question

like there’s a space for family members who i love

and there’s also a space for the ones who are complete dickheads or outright villains but are interesting, or have interesting scenes (thoreau lionett, syldor vessar, kevdak, a lot of the trickfoots)

but just going with that former question....

5. Cassandra de Rolo

her and percy have the best relationship, for starters, i love the very careful mix of “we lost all our other family and you’re all i have left and you’re the most important person in the world to me and i love you” but also “you’re my sibling and i cannot stand to see your face”, it makes for the funniest scenes, percy hugging her and her fighting him off, cass mocking percy after they get back in search for bob, the whole thing after his resurrection... it’s wonderful.

but also just on her own merit, this girl has been through a lot, like... losing your whole family when you’re only 13 or so (a lot of people seem to forget she’s the youngest de rolo), hiding in your own house and hearing them torture your brother, helping him escape only to get shot down and nearly die, wake up and be told percy’s dead too, you really have nothing left. living in the same castle as the murderers for your entire teenage years, watching as they slowly kill your city, mind controlling you into helping. being freed from that and suddenly instated as the leader of the city, just barely an adult and not trusting any of your own decisions but knowing that everyone relies on you, and you can’t let them down. and fucking doing it, like, cassandra is so fucking strong, barely anyone even knows she’s struggling. more hugs for cass pls she’s real good and didn’t deserve this

(also, rogues. are my fave.)

4. Velora Vessar

god i wish we could have seen more of her. i know they can’t do anything about the technical difficulties but the fact that her first scene gets cut out is an endless source of frustration, i want to see the child!

but what we do have is wonderful, she’s so cute, i love. both of the twins are so soft around her which is a side of them i love seeing, and also like... her and her outdoorsy nature and her owlbear and her just lowkey encouraging the twins’ rebellion by being a rebellious child and her pretending to be the twins and just aaaaaahhhh

she’s also like... somewhere between fjord and caleb’s age (which is kind of weird to think about but also you can reverse it and think about how during the vox machina campaign fjord and caleb were this tiny), so she’s high on the list of characters i’d like to see return in campaign 2, it probably won’t happen but like... i wanna know what velora’s like now

(rogue! rogue! rogue! rogue! rogue!)

3. Calliope or Clarabelle Clay

yeah, i really can’t pick on this one. i mean this space is kinda for all the clays, because i adore this family and everything about it, but particularly the sisters. calliope because we saw the most of her and her relationship with caduceus which is also great (like, i love endlessly loving sibling relationships as much as the next person but sibling relationships with taliesin’s characters are just so antagonistic in the funniest way, the scene with cad and calliope and the pool? perfection), and clarabelle because she’s small and weird and likes bugs and i adore her

2. Marion Lavorre

i love that there’s a mother in this show that isn’t dead? and is a good mother? of the very few mothers in dnd that are alive, most of them aren’t great people, or at the very least, enabling a very not great father. but marion is just so wonderful, i love her so much. i also love the fact that like, she’s a sex worker and everyone knows this but no one thinks less of her for it, she’s incredibly highly respected and everyone loves her, and while she may be a single parent of a daughter she wasn’t prepared for, she’s given that daughter more love than like every other parent in this show combined. takes no shit, is incredibly respectful of whatever jester wants to do with her life, jester can talk openly to her about anything, there’s no judgement, just support. also like... has fears, struggles to leave the house, but isn’t looked down on for that either

(also i just adore seeing her interact with the rest of the mighty nein, it’s so funny)

1. Kaylie Shorthalt

it’s funny considering scanlan is pretty low on the list of my favourite characters, not because i don’t like him, just, he’s not much my type and everyone else i like more. but seriously i would watch a whole show just for kaylie. i love the way matt plays her, i love her personality, i love her character arc and development, i love what her presence does to scanlan’s character arc and development, i love that she’s a tough street-wise gnome girl who will beat your ass in a bar fight but also is a violinist (and like, fiddler style, i say this as someone who plays the violin and also has a bit of experience with most instruments, that is one of the hardest things to learn in music, it requires so much patience, dedication, and precision. fiddlers get a reputation based on the style of music they play of being like... easy going laid back jokey people but legit if someone can play a fiddle well they are every bit as professional as a goddamn orchestral pianist), as well as pretty good in most other instruments. this girl will 100% cheat you out of money in a gambling game but also you could put her in a music school and she’d show up almost everyone there, i’m not kidding.

her dedication and skill is also pretty clear when like... her and scanlan left for a year to figure themselves out and returned as crime lords running half of ank’harel.

and then she decides what she wants to do with her life after vecna’s gone and scanlan’s no longer in danger is go to school, because she never finished school, but not just to learn, specifically to prove she’s better than rich kids

(and probably beat up one or two i’m sure)

seriously she’s the best

[rucow]

"all the questions :)"

Oh dear here we go

1: Which TES games have you played? In order: Skyrim, ESO, Oblivion, and Morrowind :')

2: Favorite TES game They all have their own charm, but Morrowind broke my heart the hardest and has the nicest soundtrack, so it has a special place in my heart now (╥﹏╥)

3: When and how you got into TES I used to watch playthroughs on YT in 2013 and that's how I found out about Skyrim...then I played it myself in 2014 and became addicted ever since lol

4: Favorite race I've always loved and played Argonians, but Morrowind just has this special way of making u love dunmer even tho they're kinda insufferable :')

5: Favorite province M...m..rororowwind..... MUSHROOMS...I love

6: Favorite character Nerevar has my heart forever, I can’t describe how In Luv I am with him... Voryn and the Dagoth bros are all precious, and the adoring fan is a delight I have way more but these three have been on my mind the most recently 👌

7. Favorite faction Usually the dark brotherhood questlines are really nicely written... I have yet to actually join any factions in tes3 tho oops. Should probably do that

8: Which province you would like to live in uhHH if I’m a plain ol’ human then Cyrodiil probably suits me best, tho I don’t really wanna live there :’) I just think that’s where the least deadly Things are LOL

9: Which deity/deities would you worship? I’m not big on worship u_u I will be ~respectful~ to any deity but that’s it

10: Favorite Divine I never had one! I haven’t looked much into them (• ▽ •;)

11: Favorite Daedric Prince Ngl Mephala is pretty neat... All the ~good~ daedra are neat

12: Favorite enemy I like dremora lords they’re fun and I don’t mind them belittling me every time I have to fight them

13: Favorite dungeon I'm biased, but I practically /live/ in eso’s Forgotten Wastes public dungeon

14. You have awakened and you are a Cliff Racer. What do you do? Just hang out in the sky✌️

15: What would you do if you contracted vampirism? Actually that wouldn't be too different from what I'm already like... my life is literally just me living in a dark hole with my windows boarded up to block out the sun entirely ‘cause I hate that Thing. I’d still want a cure tho... :’)

16: What would you do if you contracted lycanthropy? HONESTLY that would be cool for a while I WANT TO BE FERAL... But I wouldn't want to be one forever u_u

17: Are there any characters you have crushes on? If so, who? NEREVAR. Oh GODS I've NEVER been this romantically invested in a character before, especially not a guy who barely has any canon appearances!! But uGH my heart!!! I love him sm...😭😭😭

18: Favorite Great House House Dagoth sounded VERY interesting and seems like it was very chill, also everyone was SO POLITE HOW CAN I NOT LOVE THEM... Buncha artsy well-mannered neets 19: Favorite TES music I could listen to Nerevar Rising forever :') It’s so beautiful 20: In your opinion, what is the scariest thing in TES? Vivec 21: Favorite main quest I can't say I have one... Morrowind's main quest broke my heart, I couldn't finish it. Actually I never finish the main quests... because then I feel like my (in-game) life becomes pointless and senseless...with no purpose 😔 I prefer just leaving the main quests unfinished and adventuring forever instead 22: Favorite side quest THERE'S SO MANY... yet I can’t think of any right now ( ꈨຶ ˙̫̮ ꈨຶ ) 23: Most frustrating experience in a TES game The Glitches™️ And also. having to kill ppl to progress a quest -_- 24: Funniest experience in a TES game Morrowind had some really funny written moments. The guy who had his pants stolen... fantastic 25: Most badass moment in a TES game Honestly, anytime the dragonborn yells at something to defeat it LOL just the concept of the dragonborn itself is so funny/cool 26: Saddest experience in a TES game My first depressing experience was when all of skyrim's dark brotherhood members got rekt lol.. little 15 y/o me kept reloading saves frantically trying to save the characters without knowing it was impossible :') AND tHEN I PLAYED Morrowind this year and it destroyed me. The tragedy of it all makes me cri like a fool (fanfic especially) but I’m getting better at dealing with it u_u imagining that dagoth ur is really smexy/pretty helps to ease the pain LOL 27: Favorite area/region Vvardenfell is home. I love the funky plants!!!!!! 28: Least favorite character Idk just general Bastard characters that are written as unlikable I guess 29: In-game food item you want to eat the most Saltrice because. rice is life (also it took me forever to realize the word is just salt+rice together and that it’s probably not pronounced ‘saltris’ _(:3 」∠)_ 30: If you could try skooma, would you? Nooo 31: If you had the skills and resources to do a perfect cosplay of any TES character who would it be? I could pull off a Voryn cosplay (⌐■-■) Definitely got the hair for it 32: Have you read any of the novels? Any of the what 33: Favorite class to play For eso it's Nightblade, for oblivion and skyrim it was stealth archer (+ daggers dual wield in skyrim), until I discovered magic and now I'm hooked..... Idk what to say about morrowind ‘cause currently I’m doing the Sixth House mod thingy and I’m literally an ash creature with no weapons hah 34: Which type of magic would you most like using? Alteration is really fun. Illusion / Mysticism would be fantastic to have irl 35: Favorite weapon Bow and daggers babey! 36: Favorite spell SKYRIM'S TELEKINESIS IS HILARIOUS.... Also the Mass Paralysis spell is tasty >:) 37: Favorite artifact I’m sry but I have to say Azura’s Star just because of this gem 38: You have awakened to find you’re in Tamriel. How do you react? Uh oh. Get to the nearest town and try not to die I'm gonna have to learn to fight ｡ﾟ+.*(+･｀ω･)９ 39: Thoughts on ESO so far It's Big. I haven't played much since my laptop can barely handle it, but I enjoy the world and all the tasty lore and npcs and ohhh I’m so glad everyone’s pretty and sounds nice. I like all things beautiful uvu  Oh except vivec, vivec’s not pretty and looks like a christmas tree decoration in eso (I’M KIDDING..... 40: Character you’d most like to hang out with HMM any of the quieter polite  characters, so......any of the dagoths LOL I wouldn’t be able to look at nerevar without passing out (๑•́ ₃ •̀๑)

[carabas]

So I’ve just finished reading the Dragon Age Tevinter Nights anthology, and short reaction: enjoyably hit and miss right up until that final extremely thorough direct hit, thank you Patrick Weekes.

Much, much longer version:

1. I don’t know how reasonable it is to try to extrapolate about what’s going to be in the next game based on a random short story collection, but hey, the novels that came out before DAI were about the mage rebellion, the Orlesian civil war, and eluvians, so.

So things I’m now expecting to see in the next game, aside from the Tevinter-Qunari conflict and Solas of course: Nevarran necromancy, Antivan Crows, Wardens who are struggling with decimated numbers after DAO and DAI (would be the perfect time for Razikale and Lusacan to both wake up at once really), and the Lords of Fortune, a never-before-mentioned Rivaini treasure hunting organization which appeared in I think three different stories here. 

Plus a few stories were very much signalling This Specific New Character Will Be Showing Up Again, whether in the games or elsewhere; I'll be shocked if Lucanis the “Demon,” reluctant heir apparent of the Antivan Crows who just got into a cliffhanger conflict with a Tevinter magister, doesn’t have more to do.

2. THERE IS A MAP, there is a great big fantasy map surrounded by nifty little illustrative details to poke at.

There’s a label reading “White Spire,” not in Val Royeaux, but on a mountain beyond the Arlathan Forest. Is that an error or is there really a White Spire mountain? If not an error, has it always been named that or is that new, possibly a new center for the mages after the war, after the original Spire fell? At no point is either Spire mentioned in this book aside from this map.

Lots of astrological sun and moon patterns prominently featured around the edges. Is that one moon chart depicting moon phases or an eclipse? Is it too conspiracy theory of me to be counting the nine dark moons (or spheres? like in that DA4 idol illustration’s seven slots?) on the dragon’s wing? Probably. Or are those spheres a reference to the second moon that never seems to actually be visible, is that missing moon actually deliberate. 

Most of the astrological charts are fairly straightforwardly showing sun/moon phases but what is the crowned figure in the one on the lower right meant to represent? The Maker? What’s going on with the horizontal lines passing through it/behind it? The two moons beneath it - is that an illustration of the moon in two phases or being separated into two (metaphorical moon in that case, presumably), do those horizontal lines also indicate separation, do I need to move on from the astrological depictions here, definitely.

Love the big horseshoe crab sea monster.

3. Patrick Weekes’s first story in the collection: halla shapeshifting! An elf named Strife who I fully expected to be revealed as an agent of Fen’harel mimicking ancient elven names like Sorrow and Pride, though I was wrong - would it be charming or just annoyingly unsubtle if that became a thing among his agents. An ancient forest guardian with lyrium blades who hunts magic in a way that struck me an awful lot like a forest-themed equivalent of a golem, though I may be wildly off base with that one.

4. Nevarran necromancy story. An odd bit of the chant to highlight for a funeral: “And the Maker, clad in the majesty of the sky, set foot to earth, and at His touch all warring ceased.” I continue to squint suspiciously at overlaps between Maker and elven god imagery. Also, evidently mortalitasi believe that when someone dies, an inhuman spirit is pushed out from the Fade into the physical world, and that’s part of the reason behind their housing spirits in bodies - neat! The existence of Curiosity spirits, also neat!

5. Is Ghilan’nain’s horrible body horror place supposed to be spelled Hormak like in the title and previous canon references, or Hormok like throughout the text here? I know this was just a mistake but maybe I’ll use this to say that in-world there’s multiple ways of transliterating Dwarven.

6. Lukas Kristjanson story #1, the one featuring approximately a million minor Inquisition character cameos and a meditation on Solas’s regrets, introduces a character with the phrase “free mage by special commendation,” and I was briefly thrown by that little signal that we are Not In My Worldstate, that the mages aren’t all free by default - except then the story went on to destroy Solas’s fresco so I wound up quite grateful for that little heads up that this isn’t my worldstate actually.

(Unfortunately I can’t get into this guy’s writing style at all, which is a shame because it’s one of the big Solas stories in the book.)

7. There’s a little plot point in the Wigmaker Job story that demonstrates those elven artifacts Solas had us activate all over Thedas do indeed strengthen the Veil - like, he wasn’t lying to us about what those orbs do, that is how they work, here we see a Crow stab one in order to deactivate it, weaken the Veil and unleash a horde of vengeful demons. Nice confirmation.

8. Genitivi is the Randy Dowager. (Possibly. At least, Philliam wrote a scene in which Genitivi alludes to being the Randy Dowager. I do appreciate an unreliable narrator but after a certain point it does make the lore hard to keep straight.)

9. By the time we got to the story about adventurers stealing an incredibly powerful healing amulet just to donate it to a mysterious contact at a makeshift hospital trying to help people where the Qunari-Tevinter war has spilled over, I knew better than to expect any cameos from DAO/DA2 characters. And with the mention of the squire, I was pretty sure the mysterious contact was going to be Vaea, and it was. Still. Anders would approve. And for a moment I was fantasizing that it would turn out to be him, or connected to him. A new mental setting for him and Hawke post-mage-freedom - makeshift hospitals at the edge of the invasion, secretly sponsored by a certain pair of absurdly overpowered, dungeon-crawling, treasure-hunting fugitives.

Yes, my Dragon Age interpreting is still all about Anders even when he’s not remotely present.

10. You know, I really expected the leaders of the Crows to be a bit more ruthlessly competent than this. Someone is setting up a grand demonstration, recreating infamous historical assassinations carried out by the Crows but now with the leaders of the Crows themselves as the victims, incredibly flashy, incredibly clearly sending a message, and yet not one of the characters trying to figure out whodunit is speculating about the meaning behind that message??? the motive in going to all that trouble??? it’s all, hm, perhaps it’s the qunari invaders. hm, this one was posed with a pearl necklace just like the one in the historical murder it’s recreating, i bet the culprit owns a pearl-fishing business! I know they’re assassins not detectives but at least show the professional courtesy of paying attention to the message in the show your fellow assassin is putting on for you, geez.

Anyway. Interesting Crow details: they talked about neutral ground and territories divided between the Crow households here, does that just apply to Antiva or like, does Arainai have claim to all jobs in Ferelden? 

And the line “Teia's back was bare except for a tattoo marking her as a member of House Cantori” puts Zevran’s tattoos in a slightly different light for me - he’s mentioned that some symbols are sacred to the Crows, and logically it follows that having that symbol tattooed on him would indeed mark him as a Crow to other people in the know, but that his tattoos mark him as belonging to House Arainai is a thing that did not hit me from that.

11. An agent of Fen’harel muttering “Felassan” to activate a rune. In memoriam? Charming. I mean it’s a rune that’s intended to kill an entire city, so possibly the more literal slow arrow is meant, but I’m still charmed.

12. PATRICK WEEKES CLOSING OUT THE BOOK BY JUST DUMPING THE CONTINUING DREAD WOLF HUNT PLOT ON US. 

So much. 

An actual giant wolf in the Fade, I’m so happy for tumblr user corseque. 

A character again raising the possibility that Solas is not an ancient elf but rather a young elf who stumbled onto old magic, a theory I thought debunked by Trespasser but here we are considering it again. 

A minor side note that a lot of Kirkwall’s templars went rogue after the explosion - that’s not relevant to the post-DAI plot really, I’m just noting it for my generally-DA2-focused fanfic purposes. 

The possibility that somniari (presumably) can kill even dwarves who don’t dream in their sleep. Somniari in general or did Solas personally step in here?

A ritual involving the red lyrium idol resulting in the phrase “As if we were the blood and the cavern the body through which it flowed” right before the POV character enters the Fade, which is a rather Titan-esque turn of phrase. 

The Dread Wolf again asserting that all creation is in danger and he’s trying to fix that. A biased POV character recognizing that, huh, funny how those spirits around the Dread Wolf which surely must be demons actually look an awful lot like Justice and Valor. 

And Charter’s notes at the end, so direct, not only spelling out the new details on the idol for us (that the figure represents a crowned figure comforting another) but thoroughly hitting us over the head with Solas’s essential characterization in his own words, as if Weekes is still trying to clear up any possible lingering misinterpretations there. (Prideful, hotheaded, foolish. Doing what he must. Sympathetic to elves. Said that he was sorry.)

And the quiet simplicity of Solas coming to this meeting of spies in person because, pause, “...the Inquisition was involved,” written in such a way that you could read all sorts of things into that pause, whatever the Inquisition and the Inquisitor might mean to him.

The book would have been worth reading for this last story alone, what a note to end on.

[isnt-it-pretty]

Inquisitor as a Companion

(template via dextronoms)

Based on this post I made about Young!Inquisitor AU, Ft. Reluctant Dad!Cullen

Inquisitor's Name: Evelyn Trevelyan (Age: 13)

Alternate name: When high enough friendship, she asks to be called Ellie.

Race, Class, & Specialization: Human, mage, spirit healer

Varric's Nickname for them: Wildflower. A special option will appear when relationship with both Varric and Evelyn is high enough, where the Inquisitor can question why he calls her Wildflower. Varric will explain it’s because Wildflowers still grow strong and beautiful, even in the harshest of climates, and that really sounds like our girl, doesn’t it?

Default Tarot Card: The Tower -  Changes, conflict and disruption of life. Bad news and calamity.

How they are recruited: Evelyn is there at Haven. She nervously approaches the Herald and introduces herself as a Spirit Healer, and asks if there’s anything she can do to help. The Herald has the option to tell her that there is no place for children in the Inquisition — thus sending her away and keeping her from joining the Inquisition, or to tell her that they are sure they can find work for her.

Where they are in Skyhold: Sits in between the battlements gazing out across the mountains, her legs dangling off the edge. If the third option is chosen in her personal quest, and Cullen is not taking Lyrium, she can be found in his office.

Things they Generally Approve of: Allying with the mages. Saving everybody in Haven. Executing Gereon Alexius or Knight-Captain Denam. Allowing Cole to stay. Becoming Inquisitor for what’s right. Allying with the wardens. Arresting Florianne. Allying with Abela in the Arbour Wilds. Pro mage actions, generally merciful actions. Saving and helping people.

Things they Generally Disapprove of: Siding with the Templars, or conscripting the mages. Evelyn will attempt to leave the Inquisition if either of these happen, saying she refuses to be captive again, but can be persuaded to stay. Saying that they will become the Inquisitor for personal power or vengeance. Exiling the wardens. Letting Celene die. Any pro templar actions, letting people die when they can be saved. Siding with Ishmael. Making mages tranquil. Lying to Dorian about his father’s letter.

Mages, Templars, Other?: Being a mage raised in the circle at Ostwick. Evelyn dislikes templars. If asked why she dislikes Templars when her relationship is too low, Evelyn will say she doesn’t wish to speak of it. If asked when it is high enough, Evelyn will explain that the Templars in her circle were cruel. When the circle fell, the Templars attempted to kill as many mages as possible; many of her friend’s died. She won’t explain what she means by cruel, and will only say that some things that are better left unsaid.

Friends in the Inquisition: Dorian, Cole, Varric. Cullen, after reaching Skyhold. Kieran, if Morrigan had him.

Romanceable?: No. Evelyn is thirteen and as such there is no options for it.

Small side mission: Evelyn asks that the Inquisitor please gather a series of herbs. There is a list of them, from Elfroot to Andraste’s Grace. When they are given to her at Haven or Skyhold, she says that they will make excellent potions.

Companion quest:

Post Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts and Here lies the Abyss, Cullen will approach the Inquisitor, asking if they have seen Evelyn recently. The  Inquisitor has the option to question when they became so close, why he’s asking, or as a romance option: “I didn’t know you’re good with kids.” No matter the choice, Cullen ends up explaining that Evelyn gifted him tea to help with headaches, and since then they’d grown closer. He’s been teaching her to play chess, however she seemed agitated over the last few days. 

Optional: The Inquisitor can investigate Evelyn’s bedroom, which is above the garden. In it, they will find the blankets pulled off the bed and piled in the corner, as if she’s been sleeping there. On the bare mattress, there is an envelope and a letter. The letter is from Evelyn’s parents, who express their joy over finding out their daughter is alive, and their concern for her wellbeing. They say that they wish for her to return home to them. The Inquisitor can also find a journal forgotten half under the bed. In it, Evelyn talks about her growing friendship with Cullen, and how he was more like a father to her than her own father ever was, despite being a former Templar.

Leliana can be questioned about Evelyn’s location, to which she will respond that Evelyn left a few days previous, but Leliana has been keeping tabs on her. If the bedroom was investigated, there is an optional dialogue to ask about the letter. Leliana explains that she also received one — a formal request from Ostwick to return Evelyn Trevelyan to her parents. She says that it is a delicate matter, and has been discussing it with Josephine before bringing it to the Inquisitor’s attention. If the journal was found, the Inquisitor can also ask what Leliana knows of Evelyn and Cullen’s relationship, to which she will respond, “it’s sweet, isn’t it?” and mention how she doesn’t see Cullen smile more than when he’s with her.

The Inquisitor can gather a party and head to The Hinterlands, where Evelyn can be found at the crossroads, healing. When approaching her, if any mage is in the party, they comment that she’s been overusing her magic, and seems exhausted. A cutscene will begin upon speaking to her.

Evelyn looks up, and before anybody can speak says “I won’t go back. You can’t make me.” The Inquisitor can scold her for leaving, ask why she ran away — or if the letter was found, tell her she’s causing problems for the Inquisition, or ask why she doesn’t want to return to her parents. To the first option, Evelyn will apologize guiltily, but refuse to return to Skyhold. To the second, she will say it’s complicated. To the third, she will become agitated and say that the Inquisition has caused problems for her, too, and that she won’t return just because somebody else says so. If questioned about her parents, Evelyn will look down and explain that they hate mages. They let the Templar’s take her as a child, and even when she wrote letters explaining the Templar’s hurt her, her parents only told her that it was Andraste’s will.

After this conversation, the Inquisitor can either let her remain in The Hinterlands, causing her to leave the Inquisition permanently, threaten her to get her to return to Skyhold, or persuade her to return to Skyhold.

Another cutscene begins after returning. Cullen, Leliana, and Josephine meet them at the gates, with a richly dressed couple who are introduced as Lord and Lady Trevelyan. When her mother goes to hug her, Evelyn flinches. The Inquisitor can decide to send her away with her parents, or keep her with the Inquisition. 

Option 1: Send her home with her parents. Evelyn will refuse to look at the Inquisitor, but will relent. She returns to Ostwick with her parents, permanently leaving the Inquisition. The Inquisitor receives a sizable amount of gold in return. Cullen will later comment that it’s quiet around here, and that he must admit, he misses her. Varric will be angry that she was sent back with the people who enabled her abuse. Vivienne will say that it was good of the Inquisitor to send the girl home.

Option  2: Evelyn remains with the Inquisition. Lord and Lady Trevelyan accuse the Inquisitor of abducting their daughter, and that there will be consequences for the action. Unlocks the war table mission Smooth Things Over with Ostwick, which will have the option for Josephine to send dignitaries to handle the situation (results in a letter of apology from the Trevelyans and an amount of gold to care for their daughter, a note from Josephine at the bottom says it was likely forced by the Ostwick Viscount), or Leliana to have the Trevelyans assassinated (results in a letter from Ostwick saying there will be no further action will be taken against the Inquisition.)

Option 3 (only attainable if the letter and Journal were found): Cullen will care for Evelyn. Cullen sputters a response at this, but will accept, saying she’s an easy kid to handle. The Trevelyans are unhappy, but will accept it when Leliana mentions that they did give up their parental rights when she was sent to a circle, and that Cullen is a former Templar. Evelyn can be found in Cullen’s office from then on. After What Pride had Wrought, upon entering Cullen’s office, a cutscene will trigger. The Inquisitor walks through the garden to find Evelyn and Cullen playing chess. Evelyn smiles and mentions finding Varric before running off. Cullen says she’s grown quite good at the game. He thanks the Inquisitor for allowing her to stay with the Inquisition, and that he’d miss her terribly if she were to leave, at which point the scene ends. In Trespasser, Cullen mentions his daughter in passing while speaking with the Inquisitor. If romanced, he says he hoped that the Inquisitor is okay with it. NPCs can be overheard mentioning “Evelyn Rutherford” in reference to a powerful Spirit Healer.

**Note, if Cullen resumes taking Lyrium, a different cutscene will trigger. In this one, Cullen tells Evelyn that he be expected to take care of her. She argues that she can take care of herself, but he won’t hear it. She rushes away in tears, and Cullen sighs. Upon seeing the Inquisitor, he tells them that they should have send her home, and that keeping her there is too dangerous, at which point the scene will end. Evelyn can no longer be found in Cullen’s office, and is instead in the spot on the battlements she was on before. If asked about Cullen, she simply says she doesn’t want to talk about it. If this happens, Evelyn will disappear after Corypheus is defeated and will not be a playable character in Trespasser. Cullen does not seem to remember her very well in the DLC, having difficulty recalling her name.

Tarot card change

Option 1: The Tower, crossed out to show she is no longer playable.

Option 2: The Star - meaning hope, faith, renewal. 

Option 3 (Cullen off Lyrium): The Sun - meaning positivity, joy, fun, warmth.

Option 3.5 (Post cutscene, Cullen taking Lyrium): The Hermit, inversed - meaning isolation, loneliness, and withdrawal. 

[glassprism]

Since you're also in other fandoms, are there any ships/pairings you like? Who's your favourite pairing in POTO? Who are your favourite characters (from POTO to all your other fandoms) and why? Ooh, here's a rather unusual one: who's your favourite side character (name one for all your fandoms!) and why?

Yeah, definitely! Though whether some can be counted as actual “ships” is debatable, as you’ll see in a bit.

For Phantom, my favorite “ship” is the love triangle - E/C/R. Not in a polyamorous, threesome way, but one where I love the dynamics of the characters, the way they affect one another, the ways Erik and Raoul are similar and different. So it’s not quite a “ship” in a traditional sense where I want characters to end up with each other, but more in the sense that I like to explore and analyze them.

As for other “ships” or pairings, I’m just going to list, like, every fandom or random-ass thing I’ve ever loved in semi-chronological order (time to go back to my middle school fandoms!). Under the cut for length.

Harry Potter: Sirius Black and Harry Potter. I adored the godfather-godson bond between the two (absolutely no romance; I clicked on an mpreg fic of the two when I was but a wee lass of twelve and it scarred me): how Harry was the last living reminder of Sirius’s best friend, whose death he still feels responsible for; how Sirius is the parental figure Harry wanted, how they were never able to be happy god damn it Rowling. (You can imagine how much my eleven year old self cried when I read the fifth book. Oh boy, the tears.)

Star Wars: Vader and Luke. Again, totally familial, father-son relationship only. (Speaking of scarring experiences, I once stumbled on a romance fic between the two, where yes, both of them were still father and son, and I have that summary etched into my brain permanently.) The way Vader obsessively hunts down Luke, the first emotional connection he has had with a person in literal decades! The way Luke has just ached all his life for a father figure, to the point where he will take a homicidal Sith lord if that’s who he is! How he never gives up on trying to redeem him! How Luke is right. Loud screeching.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Will Turner and Bootstrap Bill and Will Turner and Henry Turner. More sad father-son dynamics (you may be noticing a pattern here). Repeat what I said with the Star Wars relationships, only with more pirates and less homicide. (And way more parental abandonment guilt.)

Halloween: Michael Myers and Laurie Strode,  remake universe. Yet again, no romance, just a severely messed-up brother-sister relationship. I can’t begin to tell you why I like the horrific relationship between a serial killer and the little sister he was so obsessed with he ruined her life, completely traumatized her, and ended up leading to her death, but I do. Maybe it’s the dark obsession aspect of it, that in the midst of all his murders, there’s still one person Michael Myers longs to have a connection with, the baby sister who represented total innocence in his mind. Maybe it’s the “what could have been” aspect too, as Laurie never recognizes him or realizes their connection until it’s far too late. Maybe I need to re-examine my life choices. I’ll figure it out someday.

Bat Boy The Musical: Bat Boy/Shelley. Yes, this is a romance; yes, they are half-brother and half-sister, yes, you can get on me about this, but in my defense how about you watch the musical and NOT come out of it shipping these two against all your better instincts.

POTO: E/C/R, as stated above and for all those reasons. Oh, and you know what - The Phantom and Gustave from Love Never Dies. Can’t get away from those father-son ships. I actually care about that relationship than E/C or R/C in LND (maybe because both E/C and R/C suck in the sequel so what else am I going to latch onto).

Batman: Listed here, but my heart really lies with three ships. Jaytim is the first: it’s the whole “angry woobie destroyer of worlds who hates everyone meets seemingly well-adjusted and cheerful individual who is secretly hiding their own issues” dynamic. Bane/Talia from The Dark Knight Rises is the second. Doesn’t matter if it’s familial, friendship, protector and protectee, or romantic, I eat it up, and to be fair, it’s never explicitly stated what the relationship is in the movie. All we know is that the two grew up together in a hellhole prison, probably dependent on and solely trusting only one another, and that bond continues even after they leave, and not even death will make them leave one another. Finally, we have Jason Todd/therapy from the Arkham games. Because the poor guy needs it.

MCU: STEVE/BUCKY (aka Stucky). This ship (again, could be friendship or romantic) dominated my thoughts for four years. Steve’s fish-out-of-water status! Bucky’s horrific imprisonment under Hydra. The way the two find each other after and the angst. The fact that Steve refuses to kill Bucky and, even after seventy years, succeeds in breakthing through to him because their connection runs that deep. The fact that Marvel just ruined this relationship so now I have to rely on fanfic. Oh yes, and I also slowly fell into the Kastle ship (Frank Castle aka The Punisher and Karen Page). Another “hardened killer with sad backstory who connects to idealistic young woman with hidden darkness” dynamic.

Terminator: T-800 aka “Uncle Bob” and John Connor. Returning to sad father-son dynamics, I have this from Terminator 2. A robot learning emotions! A boy learning to take his place as a leader and all-loving hero. The bond they form, partially because the T-800 will do nothing else but protect John and partially because John has no father-figure of his own, so his robot bodyguard will do. THE ENDING.

ASOIAF/GOT: I actually have very few ships from here other than Arya/Gendry (and only when they’re older) and, weirdly, Theon/Sansa from the show. The Gendrya ship is just cute, it may well be the most wholesome ship on here, while Theonsa has shades of Stucky in it, I suppose, given that Theon has been tortured so badly he can barely remember his own name, until Sansa turns up and reminds him enough that he breaks out of it to help her.

Favorite characters from each of those:

Harry Potter: My favorite characters from here are probably more side characters, so I’ll just say Hermione Granger. Her focus on academics, fear of failure, and conviction that the library holds all the answers, felt all too reminiscent of myself.

Star Wars: Darth Vader,  no contest whatsoever. Cool mask, cool cape, cool lightsaber, and the absolute worst life one can imagine.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Interestingly, Will Turner. Yeah, I guess Jack Sparrow is cool and Elizabeth is absolutely awesome to watch and has the greatest change in the series, but oh-so-serious Will, with his deep loyalties and slow slide into moral ambiguity because of those loyalties, fascinates me.

Halloween: Laurie Strode, all versions. My favorite final girl, my survivor of trauma (except in the remake, where, well, she doesn’t survive). Also, her daughter in the Thorn trilogy, Jamie Lloyd, the most tragic little girl to walk across a horror movie screen.

Bat Boy The Musical: Ah, wow, haven’t thought about this. I guess Bat Boy and Shelley, more by default than anything.

POTO: Christine Daae, no contest. Love her character, love her arc, love her songs, love her costumes.

Batman: Listed here.

MCU: Bucky Barnes (unless he counts as a side character), but I also love Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Karen Page, Elektra Natchios... and I’ll leave it at that.

Terminator: John Connor. (There’s a reason I haven’t watched Dark Fate yet... or ever.)

ASOIAF/GOT: Three of them! Daenerys Targaryen, who I love because she tries so hard to rule well, who is so observant and cognizant of the things going on around her. Then Sansa Stark, who makes such astounding growth, who retains her empathy and compassion throughout, who is capable of startling perception and insight which most others underestimate. And finally, Cersei Lannister. She’s terrible. I love her.

And favorite side characters from each of those:

Harry Potter: Sirius Black may well have been my first fictional crush. But Remus Lupin is the kind of person (and teacher) I aspire to be.

Batman: I swear, depending on the comic series or movie, everyone is a side character. I’ll just link to my old ask again.

Star Wars: Batman syndrome all over again; every character in Star Wars might be a side character elsewhere, and every side character gets to be the main character of their own comic, book, movie, etc. Erm... I really liked Rose from the sequel trilogy and Chirrut Imwe from Rogue One. I find Mara Jade from the Legends universe fun to read. WAIT I GOT IT - Queen Amidala’s handmaidens from Episode I (Sabe, Rabe, Eirtae, Yane, Sache). Highly trained in both politics, decorum, and weaponry, able to be utterly nondescript or the Queen’s decoy at the drop of a hat? I love.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Hmm... you know what, I thought Syrena the mermaid was pretty cute.

Halloween: Rachel Carruthers! Your typical girl-next-door but well done and with a touching relationship with her foster sister. I will die mad about her death in the fifth movie.

Bat Boy The Musical: Uh.... I’ll get back to you on this...

POTO: Carlotta is super fun.

MCU: Oh heck, Dottie Underwood. (My taste in female characters goes like this: a) intelligent and observant, 2) sweet and compassionate, 3) batsh*t insane. She’s the third.)

Terminator: Not sure how much of a side character she is, but Kate Connor. Wife and second-in-command to John Connor, able to heal wounds and kick butt depending on what the movie requires.

ASOIAF/GOT: I’ll probably think of someone else, but you know what? Queen Rhaenys Targaryen, younger sister and wife to Aegon the Conqueror, whom he wed out of desire. Playful, spirited, loved to fly, sponsored musicians, initiated reforms for the smallfolk, what’s not to love? (Apart from one possibility of her death... but we don’t talk about that.)

[hrodvitnon]

Favorite Female Characters

Rules: List ten of your favorite female characters in different fandoms and then tag ten people.

Done got tagged by @thebyrchentwigges. 'Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go!

1. Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice - Senua. A schizophrenic Celtic Pict who is deeply traumatized by the death of her lover Dillion, plus years of abuse from a cruel father. She is often terrified of her hallucinations, believes they're a curse, is beset by self-doubt, yet soldiers on into Helheim (probably) to free Dillion's soul from Hela herself. And now we’re going to see her get shit done in the sequel. Perhaps Senua’s Saga will be the story of how she became deified into the Minerva-esque goddess Senuna who inspired her name...

2. Godzilla - Mothra. The most iconic lady Kaiju and one hell of a Mama Bear, she can fight with and against the Big G himself, and has even bested him. She challenged planet-conquering King Ghidorah as a larva. Mothra gets shit done. Dr. Graham also has a special place in my heart.

3. The Shape of Water - Elisa Esposito. How can someone not love her? Her charm, her playfulness, her escapism, the fact that she masterminded rescuing her Amazonian river god bae (something Soviet Russia didn't want to do), and in the end got the fishman of her dreams and lived happily ever after. She got shit done.

4. Halo - Cortana. Specifically going with Combat Evolved through 4 and ignoring 5: Guardians. Cortana's a holographic "Smart" AI and she gets shit done. She's funny, charming, and has an interesting relationship with the Master Chief that borders on romantic. Her descent into rampancy in 4, approaching the end of her AI lifespan, was heartbreaking to watch.

5. Silent Hill 3 - Heather Mason. She’s 17 years old (probably), some nutso cult lady wants her to birth a new god and has her dad killed, and what does Heather do? Well, after a good cry and impromptu funeral, she does what no sane person does and goes to the cult’s headquarters in Silent Hill. The eldritch abomination location that, depending on the game, manifests into a reflection of one’s own personal hell and forces one to confront one’s own demons. Heather wisecracks and kicks her demons in the face.

6. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Lydia. Some people don’t like Lydia. They are fools. They are also too stupid to five-foot-step back so Lydia can get out of the doorway. Lydia’s cool. She can fight up close, with a bow, and with magic staves. She’ll fight everything from bandits to vampires to giants to daedra to dragons, all because they looked at her thane funny. She sasses the Dovahkiin but is a loyal friend and housecarl, and if the game allowed it she’d probably follow you into Sovngarde and the planes of Oblivion. Also kinda helps that I headcanon my Bosmer Dovahkiin as having a massive crush on her.

7. Hellsing Ultimate - Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. Last of her family line, a knight of the Round Table, head of the Hellsing Organization, and master to the vampire Alucard. Also might be a Grand Higharch of the Templars if you subscribe to Taliesin Jaffe’s theory. Nazi vampires come knocking, she cuts their heads off. She gets shot in the eye and doesn't flinch. Plus she's got a mischievous side.

8. Throne of Blood - Lady Asaji. Never thought I'd see a villainous take on the Yamato Nadeshiko trope but by god it works. She barely moves at first and when she does there's something almost dreamlike about it, speaks in respectful tones dripping with equal parts honey and venom, orchestrates Lord Tsuzuki’s murder and Washizu taking his place as lord of the castle, and never blinks. It's creepy as hell and I love it.

9. Fallout: New Vegas - Veronica Renata Santangelo. She’s a scribe in a post-apocalyptic paramilitary order of power-armored knights, an idealist in a world that eats idealism alive, constantly cracking jokes but is hiding heartache over an ex-girlfriend and regret that the Brotherhood of Steel is ignoring her pleas and continues down a dead-end road, punches things to death with a pneumatic gauntlet, and more than anything wants to wear a pretty dress.

10. Star Wars - Leia Organa. I mean... it's Fucking Huttslaying Daughter of Force Jesus Anakin, Princess Leia "Gets Shit Done" Organa.

Do I have ten people to tag...? Welp, tagging @true-king-of-monsters and @dragongirlmesilune​ to start with. Y’all are free to share yours if you like!