#and all of those connections we take for granted
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couldnt really say what fandom im in rn… but to anyone still out there hellooooo !
#i miss tumblr… i miss my borderlands shit posting#not to sound cheesy but i really am getting older and you forget about these things#i know i didnt have a lot of followers but every community i got to see and be in was so nice#thank you guys for the community#Really miss it all. i miss getting 0 notes and posting to myself and just being happy with it#and those few people who would always like and sometimes comment#dedicated accounts to certain ships and characters#somewhere out in the world someone else likes the same thing you do at the same time#heres to celebrating humans#the internet#and all of those connections we take for granted#happy holidays as well!
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───〃★ WE F⍣CK OFF & ON, OFF & ON .ᐟ
〃★ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 ⎯ As the campus’s well known f⍣ckboy, Satoru Gojo wasn’t known to stick around for more than one night in one bed. Well, that unspoken rule just didn’t apply when the bed was yours.
〃★ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 ⎯ gojo x fem!reader, uni au, smut (mdni), protected s⍣x, f⍣ckboy!gojo, hair pulling, p⍣ssywhipped!gojo, mentions of alc⍣hol & bein’ drunk, dirty talk, slight dumbification.
〃★ 𝐚/𝐧 ⎯ Thank you so freaking much for 1.5K!!! 🥹
Absolutely unbearable.
If there was any way to describe the campus fuckboy, it’d be that.
He was known—infamous for his unique way of fucking women and somehow leaving them attached, yearning for him once more after just one night, while he only left unscathed with his balls empty.
Satoru Gojo was insatiable. And you hated him.
You failed to see what everyone saw in him—he was a total idiot for fucks sake! Granted, he had a pretty face and could be quite charming, and you really couldn’t say for yourself if he was that good in bed, but good things about him paled in comparison to his horrid personality. He knew how attractive he was, and used that any chance he got.
How did he manage to talk his way into and out of anything? You simply didn’t know. But you hated him.
That was…until you yourself finally had a taste of Satoru Gojo.
Drunk at a party and so utterly wasted, you’d failed to acknowledge who was hitting on you, who you got into the taxi with to drive back to who knows where. His hands all over you—so rough yet inviting, even after the alcohol in your system had gone you still found yourself pulled into a trance.
A trance that seemingly pushed you to his bed and under him. Seemingly had you moaning his name all night and for more to come.
And seemingly, now, opening the door to your apartment so he could come in. So he could come in and fuck you like he’s been doing for the past months. Well, that’s just what he thought would happen anyway.
“Satoru,” you huffed, watching as the tall freak plopped himself onto your couch, momentarily jerking his head back before he responded with a hum.
“Can you stop acting like a fool and try not to break anything for once?” You chastised, pointing to a hand of his already playing with the flowers in your prized vase—he hadn’t given you those and had no right to taint them.
The white haired man groaned, rolling his eyes and following you down the narrow hallway to your bedroom. Your steps halted at the doorway and so did his, a low snicker leaving his lips as his hands slid to your waist.
“So,” he sighed in your ear, brushing his soft lips past the skin of your neck, big hands squeezing the flesh of your ass as he snaked them down. “Y’just gonna keep on being grumpy or you gonna let me fuck?”
“Satoru,” you exasperated for what seemed like the umpteenth time, though you didn’t dare take his hands off your body, already surrendering to the feeling. “Just because we’ve been fucking doesn’t mean that I only invite you here because of that.”
You turned around to face him. “We have a project to do, remember?”
“Yeah, yeah. We’ll start after I start.”
And what was Satoru’s definition of that?
It was pushing your head further down into your pillows as he absolutely ravished your cunt, simultaneously holding both your hands back with just one of his.
His thrusts were deep and calculated—to the point where it felt like he knew where every pleasurable spot inside you was. Perhaps he did.
“Dick’s got you all quiet now, hm?” he smirks, sliding his free hand up your back and to your head, pulling your hair back as he speaks. By then you were a drooling mess and as much as you’d hate to admit it—you’re practically dumb on his cock, moaning incoherent little babbles of his name and how big he feels.
Satoru grins behind you, smug because he’s got you, the most prim and proper girl on campus choking on her own saliva. It all felt so surreal, you felt surreal—your soft hips, the succulent ripple of your ass as his hips connected to it, your moans—fuck everything you did was driving him crazy. Even though it was supposed to be the other way around.
He was the one who was supposed to be ingrained in your brain—but here he was, inches deep inside your wet, reeling pussy after he swore the last time he was in your apartment would be the last.
But there’s always a reoccurring cycle with you. He just can’t stop.
“Hah—mph—slow down, S’toru!” you mewl, fat tears swelling in your waterline, your ears perking up at the rhythmic plap! plap! plap! of your sweaty bodies colliding. “If ‘m too loud my neighbors might hear,”
“Yeah? Let them hear how good I’m makin’ you feel then,” he breathes, shallow and unsteady, his toned chest moving in tandem with his inhales. The deep tremble of his voice seems to move throughout your body, vibrating through you in such a maddening way that you’re almost cumming from the feeling alone.
What was even more provoking was the way he pulsed against your gummy walls, thumping and pulsing inside you loud enough that it seemed you could hear it.
And—god was Satoru close, so close he could feel the static of his high zap though his fingers. He groaned, head thrown back in bliss as he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he did so deliciously.
Your head was spinning from the mind-dizzying pleasure, eyes rolling back in what Satoru can only admit is the most remarkable expression he’s gotten out of anyone he’s fucked.
His hair was sticking to his forehead now, sweaty from how fast he was working to thrust into you at his abnormal pace. “Can I—“
“No.”
A defeated sigh and a pained grunt as he pulled out just as he was about to teeter off the edge of pleasure, taking himself in his hands and finishing the job. Satoru jerked himself as he watched you shake and convulse in euphoria, your body unwinding as you let your limbs go limp.
Cum seeped from your pussy, dripping down to your clit and sheets—and that sight was all he needed before his hot seed was spurting all over your back, the sensation causing a broken cry to leave your lips.
“Fuck,” Satoru mouthed, breathing hard as he gave your ass little smacks of approval. “That was—shit—so good.”
You nodded, head turning to the side as you watched him take off his cum-filled condom, and dump it in the trash. Satoru plopped back on your bed once he was done.
A smirk graced his lips and you rolled your eyes in annoyance, knowing nothing good could come out of that look.
“When do you think we could do it raw, hm?”
“When you get tested for every type of STD.”
#ꔫ : ˚ ͙۪۪̥◌⎯ 𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈’𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍#jjk fic#jjk smut#jjk x reader#gojo smut#jjk headcanons#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanfic#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo#gojo fluff#satoru smut#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru#gojo x you#jjk satoru#satoru gojo smut#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo x y/n#jujutsu kaisen satoru#satoru x you
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fear
- gojo satoru x reader
his best friend’s defection is still a hard topic for him to swallow, and it leads into an unexpected argument that spurs you to leave, only to unlock a new fear in him when you get into an unfortunate accident afterwards.
genre/warnings: angst, gojo being mean, one scene with a worried nanami *wink*, injured reader, hurt/comfort, fluff in the end
notes: *sigh* my coping mechanism is still gojo’s past arc, which is why this piece takes place on that timeline. just a little context: reader is in the same class with nanami & haibara and was in the same mission that took haibara's life. this is probably the longest oneshot i've written so far sooo… enjoy! :)
general masterlist
A year and a half had passed since Suguru embarked on his path as a curse user. In that one year and a half, Satoru had finished his last year at Jujutsu High, and now was in the halls of his alma mater, speaking to the newly appointed headmaster who was none other than his teacher.
"You're applying to become a teacher?" Yaga asked again with a frown. He still couldn't wrap his head around it. Granted, he was his most troublesome pupil. "Why, Satoru?"
"If I said it's because I want to train young sorcerers to be strong, would you believe me?"
That was not a lie. It was actually 50% of his main reasons anyway. The other 50% was to repent what he missed with Suguru when he chose his dark path—his contempt with the current system of this jujutsu world.
"I would," Yaga responded gruffly. To him, Satoru was irritating, but he also knew that he was also extremely capable, and thus everything he did wasn't just out of nowhere. "But you still have to submit your applications. We can't make an exception even if you come from a prestigious clan."
"That's fine with me," he grinned. "Thanks, sensei."
On summer days, he'd get reminded of Suguru and silly things they had done together. Eating shaved ice, cycling together, driving either you, Shoko or Nanami mad. Satoru missed those days, it hadn't been the same ever since. Not knowing if his best friend was alright—if he was still alive at all—was exhausting.
Sometimes, he felt like he was the only one who was affected by his departure, the only one who stayed right where Suguru left him. Shoko didn't seem ruffled, if anything she just went to more bars and pachinko parlors as of late. Nanami was always a recluse, he never disclosed his feelings. You mourned him, but it was clear that most part of you would always be more focused on Haibara's death.
Satoru understood that he couldn't force anyone to feel what he felt, and he had no right to. But sometimes, he just wanted someone to connect with at his level. Someone to get him just like Suguru did.
And so when he got back to his condo that night—just right next to the one he rented for Megumi and Tsumiki, since he had moved out of his dorm—to find his girlfriend there with a big smile and a tray of cupcakes, unaware of everything and anything, he merely scoffed to himself.
"Satoru, you're back," you acknowledged, beaming like the sunshine you were. "I just baked these for the kids. Do you want some?"
Usually he'd smother you, throw some pickup lines here and there and say yes, but today, he just felt drained. "No." And with that, he stalked away to the bathroom, not glancing back at you.
It was wrong. But tonight he just wanted some peace and quiet, and so keeping his silence seemed to be the best choice as he didn't want to start a pointless argument with you. But you weren’t anything but observant, and definitely noticed that something was amiss with him.
"Are you... alright?" You approached him warily after he came out of the bathroom with wet hair. "Where were you today?"
"Just somewhere," he replied curtly. Afterwards he turned on the hairdryer, drowning the whole place with the noise even as you stood behind him with a visible question mark.
But you were still there after he dried his hair. "Is something bothering you?" you asked with a tilt of your head, concerned. By all means, you mean well. You just wanted to know if he could use your help at all.
When you pulled that expression, he couldn't help feeling annoyed, like he wanted you to take a hint, but you just didn't. "If you know, then just shut it."
It was probably the first time since the two of you got together that Satoru actually said something harsh. But you still tried to be reasonable though, bless you.
"Satoru, I don't know what got into your nerves like this, but I think sleeping through it might help. Have a rest."
"Why are you talking as if you know it?" he snapped, finally turning to you with his cold gaze. "You might not know anything, so don't be a know-it-all. Just mind your own business."
Now you were frustrated with his reply. "Once again, I don't know what happened to you. But if you're taking it out on me because I'm the closest you have—"
"Who said that?" Satoru didn't know where he got all this venom from. It was just at the forefront of his mind and he just got the urge to spew it. "You're considering yourself closest to me? Where did you get that big head from?"
You were aghast, and you blinked a few times to get your bearings. "Let me guess, it's about Geto-san, isn't it? Or the higher ups. Either of that must be what causing you to blindly place your anger on me."
"So what if it was? It isn't like you'll understand anyway."
"Satoru," you started, trying to even your breathing. "What happened to Geto-san isn't your fault. I've been telling you this. It can't be helped—"
"Can't be helped?" he jeered. "Do you know why it has come to this?" his tone took a dangerous edge as he stepped closer. He reached for you, grasping your wrist.
"Maybe because I was too blind back then. If it weren't for you—if only I didn't spend that much time on you, maybe he would still be here."
Did he just say that? Did he just imply that he had regretted the two of you getting together?
You felt your lower lip start to tremble and something seemed to obscure and blur your vision, making it hard to see him clearly. "You... don't mean that."
"Really?" the corner of his lips curled into a disparaging smile. "You never know. Before you know it, this can be over already. After all, I could have anyone out there that I want. Maybe someone less nosey than—”
That did it. You wrenched your arm out of his grip violently, as your first tear fell. His smirk vanished too, replaced with a total stillness to cover his sudden panic that was followed by a sudden sinking feeling at the pit of his stomach.
"You selfish, self-obsessed jerk," you hissed through watery eyes. He was taken aback, even amidst your anger and possible fear of him, your still managed to throw daggers at him. "Fine. You have it. I'll see myself out."
Satoru never wanted you to leave. Honestly, he would've made you stay. But he wasn't in the right state of mind and it was too late to take back what he said. He didn't want to mess this up even further.
You left the cupcakes, even throwing it away just to spite him. Driven by pain and humiliation, you choked back your sob and didn't spare a glance at him as you shut the door.
Peace and quiet. There he had it, he thought as he clenched his fists, at the cost of everything else.
Leaving that condo, every step you took felt like needles piercing your shattered heart. You wiped your tears roughly. No, you refused to cry over such asshole. He made it clear, didn't he? Whatever it was that you two shared, it was at the cost of his best friend leaving him. So now the blame was on you.
If you were thinking clearly, you would've understood that his words were likely a result of his own pent-up pain and frustration that he had kept to himself for some while. But you had no patience for that or even pinpoint what you felt right now—anger, disappointment or dread, or perhaps all three. You just felt wrongly accused.
Your feet brought you back to your dorm in the school. Now it wasn't as bustling as it once were. After Satoru and Shoko's graduation, you didn't really get close to anyone. There was Ichiji, but he treated you more like a mentor rather than a classmate.
As you sank into the comforts of your bed, You replayed the events, trying to find where it went wrong—and found nothing. After all, you had already said all that could be said. It wasn't just him who lost Geto, but you, Shoko and Nanami did too, but it was more convenient for Satoru to blame everyone else rather than trying to understand that they too shared this pain.
Nevertheless, you were disappointed. You didn't expect half of what he spouted, and it got you doubting everything you had.
"You've royally fucked up."
Satoru exhaled, glaring at Shoko through the corner of his eyes. "Yeah, maybe."
The reverse cursed technique user threw him a blank stare, taking in everything from his disheveled hair to his wrinkled trousers. "Gojo, as much as I can’t care less about your sorry ass, I'm saying this not out of concern for you, but rather for Y/N. You are an asshole."
The puff of smoke she blew expanded to create a cloud-like shape. "Yaga-sensei was our teacher. His student is now a mass murderer and wanted dead. Can you even imagine how he feels? And I can't believe I'm saying this—but weren't there three of us?"
A week had gone by and instead of doing the right thing like trying to get into your good graces, Satoru was in Shoko's infirmary in the headquarters instead. He didn't exactly know what he was looking for by going here. Maybe some lingering taste of his happier student days, and Shoko was the only one remaining.
Three of us, huh... she was right. That was precisely why he came here after all.
"You're just sulking because it seems no one cares about your best friend being the best there is. But have you thought about how our juniors also lost Haibara? Right in front of their eyes? Haibara was our friend too."
He was wrong, of course he was. Satoru realized that now. But it felt wrong to ask for your forgiveness now, not to mention the disrupting thought he had—should he let you go for good altogether?
The phone suddenly rang with such fervor that made Shoko utter a swear word. She was on call duty for the rescue team today, and it was supposedly a peaceful day until Satoru decided to barge in to become her company. "Hello? Ichiji? What—speak clearly, I can't hear you."
She switched it to loudspeaker. "...iri-san! Ieiri-san—h-help—please—"
It was noisy, and blaring at the same time, and Ichiji was... Sobbing? Choking? His voice was terribly muffled and—
"L/N-san!" he cried, and Satoru remembered at that moment that you should be in a mission with Ichiji, he remembered you telling him before.
"Hic—s-she fell... hic—she fell! B-blood! She i-is bleeding so much! I-Ieiri-san—hic—s-send help! Please!"
"Hey, stay awake. Breathe. Just breathe."
Everything hurt. Most notably, your head. You could hardly think straight when all you felt was blinding pain and how your breaths came in short wheezes.
Your vision was blurry. The numbness had started to set in and chills ran up and down your spine. You couldn't make out who in front of you was. Was it Ichiji, who went with you in this mission? The only thing that glared was blue.
"You can't sleep, you hear me?" the voice was commanding, willing you to do his bidding. It was familiar, but usually his tone of voice was much lighter, happier.
Satoru.
But why was he here? He wasn't in this mission. It was supposed to be a mission for you and Ichiji.
You remembered getting the cursed spirit after manifesting your domain expansion, until in its last ditch attempt, it went after Ichiji. You had no choice—even when your cursed energy had burned out, you still shoved him away at the cost of being flung from the top of a building.
Not again. Not after Haibara. You’d gladly pay the price if it meant you didn't have to see anyone die in front of you again.
"I..." You managed to croak out—breathing hurt, and you felt your hands being grasped tightly.
"Hey, just breathe. Y/N. Look at me.” Through your blurry haze, you focused on that cold blue, and you saw him. Satoru's sharp eyes, pursed lips and frown. He's really here.
Satoru always said that if there was a cursed spirit apocalypse, then Ichiji would be the first to die. You used to scold him for that, but now as you a laid here possibly dying in your own pool of blood, you found it to be true.
Yet at the same time you knew that with him here, Ichiji must be safe already, and it gave you reassurance so great even when you were on the verge of dying. "I... can't..."
"Yes, you can. Just look at me," he firmly rebuked, his voice came out in a hiss. For all the time you had been with him, you had never heard him so forceful. "If you close your eyes now, I won't forgive you. So please, just hang in there."
It was a struggle to take in any air and darkness encroached on your vision as your consciousness began slipping away.
And everything faded to nothingness.
Satoru honestly thought he had no fears. His worst fear had fully realized after all—Suguru going away into the darkness. What more could he possibly fear?
But when he heard Ichiji's distress call for rescue team, about how you fell from a rooftop of a building and unconscious, he realized that it was a fear he didn't know existed. His mind got disoriented and he teleported to the scene on impulse. He just had to see it for himself. With their petty argument still lacking closure, he felt even worse.
And the sight before him gave him so much fright he never thought was possible.
It was a mistake, he should have brought Shoko along.
You had laid there like a broken doll, your eyes dimmed, and not been able to breathe. He desperately tried to keep you awake, his presence beside you, yet it didn't seem to matter. He watched helplessly as you passed out in his arms.
Satoru felt nothing. The panic that had set in was suddenly gone as your limp body slumped against him, replaced by incessant ringing in his ears and tremor wracking his nervous system. It wasn't long until the rescue team came to retrieve you and even then he still felt numb. He rejected the idea that you might possibly die on him.
That went on until Shoko, who assisted in the emergency treatment, came out of the surgery, sweat on her forehead.
"It's even worse than the aftermath of the guardian deity mission last year," Shoko explained with a grim expression. "Her brain has sustained damage and it affects everything. It may take her quite a while before she can go back to the field."
When she said that, Satoru felt terror washed over him again. You almost died—was all he perceived.
The two of you had no contact for a week just because of his ego. He could still recall that day with vivid clarity, feeling a burning ache in his chest. If someone were to ask him what heartbreak was like, now he certainly would he able the to tell them the two instances in which he experienced them. What he felt now mirrored the same stinging sensation he had felt when Suguru left him.
He visited you when he was allowed to, and you were still unconscious, with many machines connected to your body. It was a sight he still couldn’t bring himself to get used to. He had seen you injured before, but never seen you in your own pool of blood, so this made him feel sick to his stomach.
"Stupid," he whispered, gently rubbing your forehead. His eyes remained fixated on you as you rested, his insides still churning with emotions. "You're not weak, and you're not hopeless." Once upon a time, Satoru might have thought of you as weak, but now he knew better.
"So why you always pick the worst decision?" The more he thought this could've been avoided, the more irked he was. The thought that he could have done something to prevent it intensified the sting of guilt, and he continued to punish himself with it.
And the more he dwelled on the idea that he had hurt you prior to this, the tighter his breath became.
But that was who you were. Self-sacrificing to a fault. And he loved you for that. There was no way of him letting you go now.
It astonished even himself—that he was capable of this love thing. At first it was an attraction, but now that you had been going on for more than a year, it felt like it was no longer a silly infatuation after all.
"Hurry and wake up, will you?" Satoru gently brushed your hair aside, his eyes fixed on you. He didn't know it even as his gut twisted, his frown deepened and his touch quivered, that he was worried sick. "I have a lot to make up for."
And he left you with a tender brush of his lips against your forehead.
Nanami Kento was the first person you saw when you awoke from coma.
You struggled to regain your senses, still feeling absolutely broken. The dull throb on the back of your head was still there, and as if you had found yourself trapped in a fog, you were only able to move sluggishly.
"You're awake?" his gruff voice greeted, laced with concern. In his hand were a bucket of fresh flowers and fruits basket, which he soon placed at the table next to your bed.
It was unexpected, because ever since the tragedy that costed Haibara's life, the two of you had been drifting apart.
You nodded, and let out a hum in response—all you could manage at the moment.
"Thank God." Nanami sounded relieved as he pinched the bridge between his eyes, and you were moved that he had shown this degree of concern.
Your remaining classmate, who suffered the burden of Haibara's life just like you. He was always quiet or brooding somewhere, hiding his own feelings.
You felt tears pricking the corner of your eyes. The fact that he visited you meant that he hadn't decided to cut you out of his life yet.
"Gojo-san is out today, but he'll be back by afternoon," he said, mistranslating your tears as some sort of a want to have your annoying—ex?—boyfriend at your side.
The two of you were still not on talking terms, weren’t you?
You so badly wanted to say thank you to him—and tell him that no, you weren't looking for Satoru—but it came out hoarse and barely above a whisper.
"Huh?" Nanami then realized what you were trying to say, and a faint smile graced his lips. "Just... get well soon, L/N. Have a good rest."
Just before you drifted back to sleep, you could hear him sigh and mutter, "Hello, Gojo-san? L/N has awakened. Just letting you know is all.”
You weren't sure how much time had passed when you woke up the second time, but the curtains were already drawn and only darkness came from the window. Your body felt lighter, but you still felt like a mess and and couldn't help but groan in discomfort.
Satoru was there, he perked up at the noise you made. And you realized that it was the first time in about a week that he faced you after that disasterous almost-breakup.
He walked up to you, his expression was more hopeful than you had ever seen him before, like a kid whose wish had been granted. He slowly shifted to sit beside you.
"Hey, welcome back." His voice was soft. It was a change of pace for him, as you were used to seeing him all loud and silly.
Now your voice no longer sounds like a lead. "Hey."
"How are you feeling?" he asked and you took a moment to look at him. He was smiling, but exhaustion reached his bright eyes, dimming them. "You know, with the whole you passing out and almost dying thing?"
His words were almost humorous as he spoke, like he didn't know what else to say except try to lighten the mood, but there was also a strain on his tone, like he was holding back.
"I'm quite fine now, I suppose..." You still felt the lingering pain and dizziness as you slowly sat up. Satoru reached out to steady you—and you realized how his fingers trembled when they made contact with your body—as his brows furrowed with worry when you winced.
"You don't look like it though." His voice dropped and the humor was gone, replaced by this haunted look. You blinked. It was probably the first time you had seem him this ruffled.
He immediately pulled you into a hug, cradling your head to his neck gently, as if to protect and shield you from the world altogether. Exhaling heavily, he leaned on you. "You scared me, you know that?"
You wondered out loud if you really had that hold over him. "Did I?"
"You can't do that to me, you hear?" Satoru stroked your hair, nuzzling his face on the crook of your neck. His voice quivered. “Don't ever do that again.”
He pulled you tighter against him, but still careful not to crush you.
You let out a snicker, letting go of everything you felt during this horrible week. "Heh, afraid to lose me, huh?"
"Shut up,” he grumbled. “What were you thinking anyway? How did you calculate that freefalling is better than letting that cursed spirit attack Ichiji?”
"He was defenseless. He could die, you know that."
"And you also can," he quipped, upset, pulling away enough to look you squarely in the eyes, his eyes devoid of any expression, yet filled with a raging wave that you could only interpret as undiluted concern.
The emphasis in his tone made you recoil and feel guilty. If you were in his shoes, you probably would've said the same thing and so you had nothing to say to that.
But the more pressing agenda in the list was the unspoken silent treatment the two of you saw fit to use against each other for the last few days. Satoru was the one who decided to address it first.
"About that night..." he faltered, looking away. "I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry."
Satoru always had trouble processing emotions. This time too. He must've a hard time dealing with the anxiety caused by the possibility of him losing you for good, no matter how much he tried to be unaware of it.
"..." You wanted to respond, to make him understand your point, but somehow right now you were just too weary. And he sensed your reluctance. So you blurted the first thing that gnawed at your mind.
“You said you could have any other women out there—”
"No, really—" he started to panic, and it was blatantly too, which surprised you. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Us. I don't regret anything. I’m not breaking up with you. Being with you is the happiest I've been ever since Suguru left."
“That's...” you blinked, before letting out a small sigh. “Okay. Fine then. Let's just put it behind us for now.”
“I—” he almost wheezed, his bright blue eyes were overtaken with sheer urgency to explain how wrong everything had been that night. “You must know that I didn’t mean any of it. And that I hate hurting you the way I did. I won’t—”
"Satoru, I understand," you let out another sigh, fidgeting with your fingers. "Sometimes when I’m reminded of Haibara, I also get sad. I don't want to presume but I think I know how you feel. Just next time, maybe," you shifted your gaze on him, seeing how you had his attention fully. Gojo Satoru, the strongest now, was looking at you as if you had his fate in your hands. "Just tell me if you need space and I would have understood."
"Yeah, okay, sure," he responded immediately, relieved, before a lopsided grin appeared on his face, turning him back into your dork slash boyfriend. "So, am I forgiven now?"
"A thank you would be nice."
In the end, he chuckled, seemingly resigned. "You should sleep more."
He positioned himself into bed next to you, and you let him pull you into his chest again. You could feel how his taut back started to relax upon the contact. He pressed his lips on your forehead in a fleeting kiss.
"Promise me you won't pull that stunt again.”
You smirked. "I can't. What if Ichiji—"
"Then just let him die."
You swatted his arm playfully, pressing your head to his chest as he continued to run his fingers on your hair. He cushioned you carefully, and you felt the tension in him slowly melt away with each breath you took. In your mind, you figured he needed this closeness more than you did, if anything, for the sake of his sanity.
“I love you,” he whispered by your ear, kissing it lightly.
“Mmhm.”
As you felt Satoru's calming presence, it helped ease you into slumber. You soon found yourself in a deep sleep, comfortably held in his embrace.
Epilogue
Ichiji gulped as Satoru stared him down, sizing him up as if he was the most despicable creature on this planet.
Okay, he might be. He was a coward, all he could do was trembling in the face of evil. But he had come in peace, even bringing fruits as an offering! He felt bad too that he was the partial cause for you to be this injured.
He was used to Satoru terrorizing him—calling him names, slapping him, and whatnot—and he could take it. Just this time, he really looked like he could murder him on the spot if he wanted to. A small part of Ichiji mourned that you were his girlfriend, because that pretty much sealed his fate that Gojo Satoru could indeed murder him on the spot because he had a valid enough reason to.
"You are—"
"No! I'm sorry, Gojo-san! I'm sorry for my incompetence!"
"Hah?"
If he was mildly irked before, now Satoru was visibly irritated.
"You're not cut out to be a jujutsu sorcerer," he started. "You're useless. You just get in the way most of the time."
Ichiji kept his head down. No, no. He can't cry!
"Get your driving license or I'll slap the shit out of you."
"Oh?" and before he knew it, Satoru had stalked away, leaving him in the dust. How rude! But...
Get a driver license? Quit the jujutsu work?
Hey, that sounds like something I can do!
#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru angst#satoru gojo x reader#jjk x reader#jjk angst#jjk fluff#hurt/comfort#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk gojo#gojo fluff#gojo angst#jjk x you#jjk imagines#jujutsu kaisen imagines#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#nanami kento#jjk gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen x you#gojo satoru imagines#gojo x you#jujutsu kaisen fluff
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james fitzjames did expect to be remembered. he was an affluent historical figure in Britain during the height of imperialism. he shared tutors with princes. he actively and gleefully participated in imperialism. he actively and gleefully turned himself into walking propaganda for the british empire. his tragedy is that he failed and instead of being walking propaganda, be became a lurking insecurity.
fitzjames was particularly well loved for embodying imperialist ideals of the British National Body. there are posts going around about how he was affable and well liked and likely didn't expect to be remembered. this could not be further from the truth. he expected to be remembered and he was. as second in command of one of the two ships in question, he has been a figure of note since his disappearance. we have access to his letters because he was determined to be important enough to preserve them. every single thing about fitzjames telegraphs immense cultural and social privilege and part of the reason that he is remembered is because of the british inability to comprehend how and why he and his compatriots failed. rather than being a success and exemplar of the british national body as he expected, he became its greatest insecurity. at no point has he been forgotten. his commander is one of the most famous british explorers of all time. he just wasn't henry hudson because they failed and died instead of bringing information back for the crown.
fitzjames regularly threw himself at dangerous and notable expeditions to map new lands or open new trade routes because these stories were incredibly important to the british political imagination and discourse. he was additionally politically well placed and attended eton college. he was stationed in malta with the head of the british mediterranean fleet (a sign of high regard) and abandoned a position on a flagship to take part in the Euphrates expedition opening a steam route to mesopotamia. he was well liked and well known throughout the discovery service because he had the connections necessary for rank along with the ability to project a perfect National Body. he was not an everyman or an outsider or in any way unaware of his public persona.
fitzjames is remembered (and remembered well based on tumblr's reaction) because he was among those swashbuckling heroes whose embattled body provided "evidence of the resilience, ingenuity, and staunchness associated with British national character" that proved the british empire's supreme and godly right to conquer and civilize the entire planet. at the time, he needed to survive and bring back information to prove it. now we're granting it to him 179 years later after his empire has already (for the most part) fallen.
do not end up so deep in the blorbo sauce that you reinvent british imperial propaganda from the 19th century for real historical figures. james fitzjames' joy at participating and being notable to the british imperialist ego is a sign that he was a racist historical figure that participated guiltlessly in the atrocities associated with his station and rank in the british empire. we like tobias menzies and gayboys in tv shows, not actual imperialists, right? right?????
SOURCE: White Horizons: the arctic in the 19th century british imagination by jen hill
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Something I have really loved this season with Sylvie is the appreciation of the ordinary. Living a normal life was her dream, and she soaks up every moment, like each are a precious gem. She has a job in a fast food place, and she loves it and takes pride in it. She’s got a coworker that she can chat with, a bartender who knows her name, a record seller who calls her a regular and recommends her music. And to her, all these little things, the fast food and drink and music and the people you connect with as you go about your day, they’re all special. Through the lens of this character, we can take those things that to us might seem mundane, that we might take for granted, and elevate them, and go “this, this is special actually”
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And in With the New (Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, and Diasomnia x Yuu)
"Look I would get rid of this thing if I could afford a new sweatshirt." You drag the offensive article of clothing over your head completely missing the spark of curiosity and mischief in your companion's eye. "I've got a lot of bad memories associated with this."
"If it's that uncomfortable we can go look for a replacement instead of-"
"Oh no not like that, it's super comfy. I just don't like it because it technically belongs to my ex."
notes: they/them used for Yuu, their ex is implied to be kind of a shit person, other dorms can be found here (x) Ortho is somewhat included in Idia's part but does not have one of his own.
Kalim- "Do you have any other things from your world?"
Kalim has expressed a desire for you to see as much of Twisted Wonderland as possible, and he stands by that, but it would really suck if the only physical connection you had to your home was something that brought up painful memories. Your past relationship isn't something that makes him jealous, just concerned since it clearly causes you distress. He can wait to get you more appropriate clothing until after he makes sure you're ok. If the sweatshirt really is the only thing you have from home, he'll be asking if there are any foods you remember or activities you liked to do with the people you actually cared about that the two of you can recreate in Twisted Wonderland. That way you won't have to feel the need to hold onto something painful and he gets to make you happy.
Jamil- "Then why didn't you get rid of it before you came here?"
On the one hand he does feel a bit second rate at the thought of you holding onto something form an ex, but his primary concern is the implication that your financial straights have always been this... dire. He definitely wants to know about your previous relationship so he can judge them for how much better he is, but once he notices that the memories are a bit on the traumatic side he stops pushing and feels just the slightest bit guilty. But really, if it's something that hurts you to hold onto then why do it? You aren't him, you don't need to do that, people love you and want to take care of you, him included. He's not going to just give you his hoodie, he would literally die of embarrassment, but he does get you a sweatshirt. If for no other reason than to keep him from staring holes into your back now that he knows where the other one came from.
Vil- "It doesn't suit you at all."
If his treatment of Epel is anything to go by, Vil is not above spending money on something he considers to be a pet project. Not that this... friendship is one of those, nor is he particularly jealous of some no name extra who was too blind to beg on their hands and knees to get back in your good graces. Not that he needs to do that you understand; as arrogant as Vil has a reputation for being, he is one of the people who has been more genuine when expressing concern and gratitude for you. His comment isn't meant to be a slight, clothing that makes you feel bad about yourself is failing to do its job as fashion, and as a world class super model that is unacceptable. In other words get in the car looser we're going shopping.
Rook- "Ah, I thought it was something like that."
Is it bad if he says he meant he hoped it was something like that? Not that he was rooting for your ex to be a bad person, he would never wish a subpar lover on you. But when he saw the tattered edges of your sweatshirt and how it clashed with the things you bought for yourself, he hoped that maybe someone in your world hadn't wanted your hands to be cold. If that's not the case, then if you are ok with letting it go as a lover of romance who is he to deny you your freedom? Granted tossing roses onto a fire while you burn an ugly sweatshirt is both very extra and very Rook but hey. He's having fun and you've got a new jacket.
Epel- "Afford shamford I could'a just made ya one!"
Offering their sweetheart their hoodie is something manly tall guys get to do and Epel has really really REALLY. Been looking forward to getting to that point in his relationship with you. He wants to feel like a real man, like your real man to be specific. The thought of some other piece of shit getting to do that first and treating you like a used dish rag pisses him off. Best believe he is huffing and puffing his way back to Grandma Felmier's boot camp with a mission to do you one and your ex two better by knitting you a pullover to go with your uniform. Everything that comes from Harveston is a top quality product prefect, better than whatever you left behind he guarantees it.
Idia- "So this is that kind of route huh..."
Of course you had a partner back in your world, if he can see your good points then a normie absolutely could. That doesn't make you less appealing, it just makes him feel all that more convinced he doesn't have a chance. He's halfway through whipping out his tablet to excuse himself when Ortho asks what you meant by "shitty memories" and they both get blindsided by just how much vitriol you have for a person whose clothing you technically kept on you. And suddenly he's back in business because there are few things that unite Idia with someone faster than a good old fashion bitch fest. Sure, his insults are weirdly possessive of you, but if he had any doubts about your feelings for this person he doesn't now! He's never heard you talk about anyone like this before and he finds it so attractive he almost forgets to short circuit when Ortho convinces you to try on his hoodie. Almost.
Malleus- "..."
Sometimes he feels like a broken record, constantly marveling at how little fear you have of him, but really child of man, you have no fear. Malleus has very little in the way of emotional intelligence, so he doesn't fully understand that what he is feeling is jealousy he just knows the thought of you with someone else's clothes hurts. Unfortunately for you both, in addition to not being emotionally intelligent he also isn't with the times and there is a non zero percent chance he will be bringing you a cloak and be genuinely confused when you don't immediately replace your old hide for his. (Lilia takes responsibility for that, he was making a joke honest.) Oh? The point was it's supposed to be something he wore so you can feel closer to him when he's gone? Well why didn't you say so child of man, he is more than willing to offer you a scale- what do you mean you can't wear that either?
Lilia- "Oh? Are you asking for one of mine?"
Shame has not been a word in Lilia's vocabulary since long before you showed up prefect. He always buys oversized clothing because of how cute the long sleeves look on him, but oh they would be so much cuter on you prefect, don't you want to see? Oh and while the two of you are at it, why don't you let him paint your nails and do your eye shadow. He's never had one of those slumber party things you humans do, you should make a night of this so you can both get a new experience out of this. He can have a slumber party and you can be the center of someone's world. Also what do you mean you're supposed to summon the devil at these things, he's already here.
Silver- "Would you like one of mine?"
Lilia raised a very good boy who thinks nothing of offering the shirt off his back to save someone in distress. Silver isn't a jealous person by nature, he's more concerned with making sure you are safe and taken care of than he is making sure you don't still have feelings for your ex. Above all else, Silver wants to be a safe space for you to come home to at the end of the day, like a proper knight in shining armor. Though he does have to admit, you look really nice in Diasomnia colors, they're really close to Briar Valley's so if you decide to come and visit he's assures you that you will fit right in. He's sure his father would be very happy to play host. Maybe too happy.
Sebek- "HOW UTTERLY DISGRACEFUL."
You think he's upset at you but he's not, that's made painfully clear with the rant he starts to go on about proper courtship procedure. Offering clothing to someone is supposed to be a sign of high affection, nay eternal devotion! And it suddenly becomes clear to you that Sebek has somehow managed to confuse the concept of a stolen hoodie and a knight's favor. He seems to have managed to convince himself, in the span of two seconds, that you are wearing this not because it is one of your only pieces of clothing, but because your ex convinced you that they're the only one who could love you which IS NOT TRUE. YOU UNDERSTAND HUMAN? DO YOU UNDERSTAAAAAAAAND?
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#kalim al asim x reader#jamil viper x reader#vil shoenheit x reader#rook hunt x reader#epel felmier x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader#silver x reader#sebek zigvolt x reader
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i don’t think it’s talked about enough that the reason there’s a Godwyn ending where he becomes a Lord (not a God) is because symbolically, he was mirroring Godfrey in more than just name.
Godwyn’s alive body sprouting fish tail and scales isn’t just a random design choice, it’s a reference to Confucius' The Book of Rites, where it’s stated that the subjugation of the Four Divine Beasts will grant the person who tamed them different kind of control:
- Dragon -> control over animals with scales (specifically, FISH. See?)
- Qilin (Lion) -> control over beasts (think of how the Hornsent coveting the power of the Crucibles via the lion dance ritual. The “lion” in lion dance is Qilin in the native language of Asian countries that celebrate that tradition. And it’s why Godfrey’s symbol is a lion, why lion imagery plays such important role in Elden Ring world)
- Phoenix -> control over birds
- Turtle -> control over the heart of men (this might be a reach but Miquella’s connection to the Carian family and thus, the Turtle Pope could be a nice parallel to this)
in Godfrey’s cut dialogues, he said “Dearest Marika is precisely what I must take back” and “Dear Marika, do not fear. I am returned.”, and even without all that, The Talisman of Lord’s Bestowal stated that Godfrey accepted his duty without any sign of wavering, even taking Serosh upon his back so he could conduct himself as a Lord worthy of her. Bro, he loves that girl, he passed Messmer’s vibe check with flying colors.
For Godwyn to be a fruit of such a loving union, i do think Godfrey instilled in him a sense of duty to protect his Mother, and there’s his own love and devotion to her as well. Leyndell Knights all use Dragon Cult incantations and buffs - the kind of power that is only available to them because Godwyn befriended Fortissax (which is why i said that move has an ulterior motive to it).
All of that brings me to this main point I’m trying to make: does Godwyn really that devoid of agency?
I see it’s a popular interpretation in the fandom that oh Godwyn was just a symbol, he had no voice, we never knew what he wanted, etc etc… Do we really not know though?
Sorry for slapping another fandom on this, but this is really relevant to my understanding of Elden Ring as a story, even with the base written by a Western author, was developed by a Japanese team of storytellers and designers:
The concept of soul - body and body snatching etc etc exists a lot in Asian media, and there’s always a general consensus that the body remembers even as the soul perishes. What is Godwyn’s body is doing? The game specifically states that his body is alive. He only perishes in soul.
He was infesting the Erdtree’s roots, spreading Death around like free real estate. If he wanted to let go of life, of his Mother, his body should have just let go on its own. But no, he was tenaciously clinging to the Erdtree, to Marika.
Even Fortissax remembrance stated that despite its best effort, it could not fight back the Death within its friend. If Godwyn really, truly wanted to embrace a true death, would his body just let Fortissax fight alone in an uphill battle like that?
Then there is the DLC revealed that Godwyn’s personal knights were in LoS to find and guard his cadaver surrogate, specifically for the Age of the Duskborn. Their helm stated that their loyalty to him is unbroken. So will they just go and do something that their Master would not want?
These Knights are literally an elite circle that was bestowed the most precious of jewels in Godfrey’s time (the +3 medallions), they aren’t merely good, they are the very best. They are Godwyn’s inner circle the same way the Fire Knights are said to be the ones who know Messmer best.
Even if you think Fia and Those Who Lived in Death were just taking advantage of Godwyn’s death… her endgame goal technically did not even succeed. She wanted to be Mother to TWLiD, but the ending very much shows that the Mending Rune was returned to Marika’s womb. It’s her who would birth Godwyn a second life, so the True Mother™ to TWLiD… would actually be Marika 💀
Like, am i the only one who saw this as some real crazy 4D chess Uno reverse move from Godwyn? Oh these ppl wanted to get rid of him then took advantage of his body? Fine, he would take that challenge and run a mile with it. If Age of Duskborn came, it meant Ranni didn’t succeed, Fia didn’t actually get to be Mother of TWLiD, Death - the very thing that Marika tried to seal, would now be something within her control, because Godwyn is its Lord now. Exactly like how the Dragons’ power became something wielded in Marika’s favor in the end. Thanks to him.
In the Duskborn ending, bro, the God would still be Marika. It’s the only possible new Age involving a demigod that doesn’t get rid of her. Even if it utilize heretical powers to get there.
And the crazier thing? This is not the first time Fromsoft did this, btw.
#godwyn the golden in my head don’t worry i got you#er brainrot#golden doomed mother and son#this is why that prince of death comic is the way it is btw#the dlc confirming “golden child” can turn out to be the most unhinged scary demigod out there truly changed my brain chemistry I’m afraid
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One thing that really fascinates me about interview with the vampire (the show) is this sort of tension between power and powerlessness in all of the characters. Because it doesn't present becoming a vampire as something that just gives you power and magically makes you completely detached from all human concerns and struggles.
And that seems to be something Lestat does very much want to believe, and he's in enough of a position of privilege that he's able to convince himself it's true, and it's a fundamental area where he just cannot understand Louis because Louis CAN'T pretend even if he wants to. (And of course Lestat cannot ACTUALLY separate himself from "human troubles" the way he likes to think he can, he just has an easier time pretending than most). Because as much as becoming a vampire grants these characters supernatural power it doesn't just magically take away the very tangible human ways that they were previously vulnerable or powerless.
Becoming a vampire doesn't negate Louis' struggles with racism; in some ways it amplifies them with how he is alienated from his own family and community; his closest connection becomes Lestat. He loses his economic independence and becomes socially dependent on Lestat in a way he wasn't to anyone as a human because in some ways becoming a vampire made him MORE vulnerable, despite granting him physical strength/speed/etc. The promise of freedom in vampirism Lestat presents to Louis (that I do think he does genuinely mean, but "freedom" means very different things to Louis than it does to Lestat) is never fulfilled.
Likewise Claudia learns the hard way with Bruce and later with the coven that she may be a vampire but the world still looks at her and sees a vulnerable young black girl and that will always put her in danger.
Claudia rescues Madeleine then turns her into a vampire, but rather than protect her from future harm the "crime" of turning her becomes the very thing that gets her killed by yet another angry mob.
And 514 years as a vampire will never be enough for Armand to truly trust or believe in his own power. Because the first 200 or so years of his life he was literally never once allowed any agency at all over his own identity or his own body (child slave sold to a brothel, sold to an abusive master, captured and violently indoctrinated into a vampire cult for centuries). No amount of material strength and power is going to undo the psychological effects of that. (And I know some people like to read his frequently passive demeanor as simply manipulation and a way of catching people off guard (because how could someone so old and powerful possibly feel a genuine sense of fear/vulnerability/etc 🙄) but to me that's an incredibly disingenuous reading of him. But that's a different rant for another time!). Being a vampire does not save him from being horrifically abused, nor does it save him from the lasting emotional effects of that abuse.
And I think there's something interesting to be said about the way that, in order to survive safely, they have to feed on the most vulnerable members of society (people undesirable and therefore least likely to arouse suspicion) in order to go unnoticed. If they want to live they have to prey on those vulnerable in possibly the same ways they themselves once were (and in many ways still are).
There's a frequent argument I dislike that we shouldn't be viewing any of these characters through too human of a lense because they're literal monsters (to be honest it's an argument I see most often made when people simply don't want to talk about the show's complex depiction of racism/misogyny/abuse/etc and used to dismiss those as issues "too human" to be relevant to a story about a bunch of monsters with a supposedly alien sense of morality), but I think the show itself makes a huge argument that for these characters there is no escaping or separating themselves from the very human struggles and vulnerabilities that marked them before they ever became vampires. It's like a sort deconstructed power fantasy.
#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#armand iwtv#claudia iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#madeleine eparvier
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Ford's autism
K so I don't think I need to defend the interpretation Ford is on the spectrum. People make jokes about him being autistic all the time. We all see it. What I want to do here is sort of connect together some character details and examine them through the lense of my own autistic experiences.
I wanna start with his hands. It's an observation I've seen from multiple people that Ford is insecure about his hands and often hides them behind his back or in his pockets. And yeah, he is obviously insecure about them. He even mentions his six fingers at times when they aren't really relevant to anything. It just showcases the space this physical deviation of his takes up in his mind. And yes, it makes sense that he's insecure about them because he was bullied for them growing up. I want to add to this observation.
Ford would have been bullied regardless.
The problem was never really his hands. When you're on the spectrum people around you can tell that you're weird. Uncanny. Something is different and feels wrong about you to NT people, especially kids. They will pick any shallow superficial thing they can find as an excuse to bully you and justify the sense of revulsion they feel around you but can't articulate. If Ford had been born with normal hands they just would have made fun of him for something else, it would have been his glasses, or the movies he liked, or hell maybe some good old-fashioned antisemitism. Literally, any excuse they could find.
I know growing up I tried for years to change the things about me that I was made fun of for and it never made things any better. The bullying never stopped. "Fixing" things about myself didn't work because the thing that was actually "broken" was something fundamental to who I am. That realization as a kid was soul-crushing. That there was nothing I could do that would ever make me "normal", that would ever make people like me. I felt like an alien born on the wrong planet.
Ford continues to latch onto his hands as a sore spot because they're something simple and obvious he can point to as an excuse for why he's so outcast. He probably knows by this point that the hands aren't actually the problem. I'd argue this journal entry and his comment about "another failed social interaction" shows that he's aware his hands aren't actually the problem. But, it is a lot easier to fixate on those than to dwell directly on that sinking feeling that at the core of you're being you are fundamentally weird, wrong, unlovable. Ford's a genius. If his polydactyly bothered him that much he could have removed the extra digits. The hands aren't the problem, they're a symbol of a more fundamental kind of pain.
Looking at it through this context also makes the gloves Fiddleford gives him an extra sweet gift given what they represent. A kind of wholehearted acceptance of who Ford is and even a willingness to adapt to his unique needs just to show him love and affection. I think something that hurts me so much about their relationship is that Ford had someone who very clearly loved him as is and would have never wanted him to be someone or something else, and Ford was too stubborn to fully appreciate that.
The same is true of Stanely by the by. He never had a problem with his brother being weird. Another relationship with someone who loved Ford as is but who Ford took for granted. He needs these kinds of relationships in his life. People who embrace and accept him for the weirdo he is. He needs them desperately, which gets me to my next point.
Ford's ego. So it's also a common observation that Ford has a massive ego. He's kind of an ass, to put it mildly. But I have had someone in conversation frame it like the pressure to prove themselves was just on Stanley and Ford just spent his whole life being hyped up and told he was hot shit. This isn't true, or at least it's a flattening of his experiences.
Ford was praised for his genius. This is true. But his own father only gave a shit when said genius showed signs of netting material gains for the family. It only mattered cause Ford could be useful. Furthermore, this genius never netted him social acceptance from his peers growing up. He was still a bullied, weirdo, loser most of his childhood. Add that seeing Stanley kicked out would have drilled into Ford's head that if he couldn't make something out of himself his family wouldn't want him either. Stan was an unspoken threat of what this family does to failures.
Gonna bring up my own personal experiences again. Having set the stage for how it feels growing up on the spectrum. That feeling of alienness that you can't really explain. I loved to write and draw from a very young age. Moreover, as I got older I realized that when I drew, people were nice to me. The only time I got social acceptance was when people were admiring or praising me for my art. So I did it more and more, I devoted myself feverishly to my art. I loved it anyway and would have hyper-fixated on it regardless but the positive reinforcement turned art from something I loved to a need. I NEEDED to be an artist. I needed to be the best at my school. I needed all eyes on my work because it was the only way I could make friends. The only way I could prove that I had value. That I deserved a place in society.
I see that in Ford. I see his ego not as shallow narcissism but as an overwhelming need to prove his value as a person. To be loved and accepted and believing that no one will want him if he isn't brilliant. If he doesn't change the world. If he isn't useful. This is also why he couldn't bring himself to destroy his research even knowing it was the safest and most responsible option. Burning down everything he worked for would mean finally giving up on the fantasy of ever being accepted or valuable.
The sad thing is he's so single-mindedly fixated on this personal goal of proving his worth to the world that when people do come along that love him unconditionally he takes them for granted. These people are statistical anomalies in his life. Nice to have around, but not enough to fix the bigger problem. They aren't reflective of society at large. They aren't enough to prove that he, personally, is loveable. Just that on occasion he meets another weirdo. For a while it's nice. Like a campfire in a barren tundra. But he has to keep moving, he can't stay. Warmer lands are ahead if he can just get to them. If he can just keep moving.
This also is why Ford was so susceptible to Bill. Bill told Ford what he wanted to hear. That he was destined for greatness. That, the fundamental wrongness he felt all his life was something incredible other people just couldn't see. Bill promised Ford exactly what he wanted, but not what he actually needed. Ford never needed the world at large to accept him. He just needed a few good people.
I also think his chemistry with Bill was connected to his autistic experiences as well. Bill is literally an alien. There's no pressure to mask around him. To try and "act normal". Ford can just be himself with Bill and not have to think about it. And sure, he could be himself around Fiddleford, but Fidds is still human. The anxieties of human social expectations are still present. Like when Fidds get him a gift for the holidays and Ford feels a bit guilty that it didn't even occur to him to do the same. He doesn't have to think about these social nuances with Bill.
That said I'm sure Bill isn't what his world would have considered neurotypical anyway. Not that Ford would know that. But Bill was also a strange freak in his own society. Just as outcast, possibly more so. I think Bill sees a bit of his own experiences reflected in Ford. I think he relates to him on a level. Not that he would ever admit it outright due to his own ego. I think Bill's fixation on him after the breakup also stems from Ford rejecting the path that Bill chose for himself. Bill still lives with some sort of deeply repressed guilt for what he did. Imagine how validating it would have been to see someone else like him burn their own world to the ground for the same reasons Bill did. But no, Ford's a better man than him, and Bill can't stand it.
Ok, I don't know how to end this long-ass monologue so I'm gonna call it here I guess. I just wanted to spill some thoughts of mine about Ford as a character. If anyone else wants to add to this with other examinations of Ford's character through this lense go right ahead. I'm just saying as an autistic person myself I understand every choice Ford made. I could relate to why he did the things he did even if I know those were mistakes and even acknowledging that he's kind of an asshole. Ford is a strange man who makes an eerie amount of sense to me.
#gravity falls#ford pines#billford#ford^2#stanly pines#gruncle stan#grunkle ford#autism#autistic adult
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You know one of the purposes of Lining?
Shock Absorption.
If the Zone is the Inter- and EXTRA-Dimensional Lining, connecting, containing, and generally powering all of Multiversal Creation? The Great Primordial Soup? The Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust, from which we came and too which we return?
If the Zone itself is basicly the place between Universe, where your soul goes to get washed down, cleaned up, recharged, and sent out to wherever the next random portal takes it? To BECOME whatever you happen to find? An infinte recycler and Multiversal management?
The great metaphorical Yggdrasil, grown far beyond few branches, into an incomprehensible forest of one?
Well!
That kinda changes things! And also nothing! Because it means that those who remain? Are basicly squatting in the DMV's attic. Have built bunkers, under the country's main power generator. They really SHOULD move along. Granted, there is no one to MAKE them... but like...
That's cause no one thought anyone would NEED too?
Lol. Don't they feel silly? Anyway, I'ma put MY house over-! *wander off to go squat in the rafters*
Yeah, the CONCEPTS are native. But those probably just generate naturally. It's all the Souls constantly flowing through. Lots of background Sentience and Memories and such being washed away into the air. But? Then these lil souls were like "yeah, but if THEY get to stay... me too! D:< " "no, you can-" "ME TOO" and then they stopped listening and did what they wanted.
Good thing we have literally infinte amounts of room.
T...there's so MANY, you guys.
But! Not the point here!
*smacks white board* Realities! The Die too sometimes! And get born! A beautiful process, really. You can find Reality Beads if you know When and Where to look, some times. They, OBVIOUSLY, don't last for very long. Since they are basicly just seed universe. The explosive growth takes them almost immediately out of our range of perception, as they Begin.
Foundations of all Life and such.
But good God are they MAGNIFICENT!
However, sometimes? The REVERSE happens. If you find the area of the Zone your in? Is getting... "wavey" is the best way people describe it. Distorted. Fun house mirror. As though your vision has weird wrinkles that are distorting and stretching your view of things? Get Out. FAST.
If it's only SLIGHT? Barely noticeable? You can grab your Lair. IF, and ONLY IF you are NEARBY! If not? Remember. Things can be replaced. YOU? Can not.
Cause that "wavey"-ness? Is the final stage of Realm Entropy. The universe that portion over the Zone is covering and connected too, is all hollowed out. And about to CAVE IN. You DO NOT want to be there when that happens!
Remember! You see "waves"? Fly for three days!
Get to the edge of the affected area then KEEP GOING for a full three days flight. Warn everyone in you path. We stay safe together, guy. Collapses are NO JOKE. People get... well. Let's just say it's NOT a nice way too go.
Knowing this of course? We should all be SAFE right? Respectful if Awed distance from Reality Seeds, run like he'll if "waves"? We Gucci?
.....Sooooorta.
*flips Whiteboard to other side, to reveal a cartoonishly drawn Supervillian labeled "Asshole"*
Behold! A Terrorist!
It's a charged word. Not used lightly. But THESE fuckers? Oh ho ho! THESE fuckers?! "Ooooh~! Look at MEEEEE! I'm gonna play with FORCES I DONT UNDERSTAAAAAAAND! Destabilize my whole funckin UNIVERSE! Kill countless TRILLIONS OF TRILLIONS! Cause life was bad to me personally and I'm mad about it! Wah wah wah!!" ASSHOLES!
These fuckers? Cause Collapses. Blow Outs. Weird Fucked Up Cancerous Real Growths. You ever seen the Cleaners? No? You don't WANT TOO. They are basically eldritch, deep sea, angler fish looking mother fuckers THE SIZE OF SOLAR SYSTEMS. They travel in SCHOOLS.
BIG ONES.
When Realities collapse, they "fall off" as it were. Detach. And have to get recycled. All the countless impurities of Life eaten way to a blank slate. So it too, can start again. Thus the Fish. But! They ALSO eat anything "problematic".
Like tumors. Cancers. Poisoned, Multiversal Threats. Those quote on quote "God Killers".
Yes. Yes this IS part of why you DONT want to be near a Collapsing Reality.
No I WON'T explain how I know.
I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
*smack the board with pointer* pay attention.
Jason Todd. Not! An Asshole. Sexy thighs. Fancy lil hair strip. We all miss him. But! He's off living his "no really, I'm totally alive, guys" hot girl summer or whatever. We are going to respect that! But!!! How did that happen? When he was DEFINITELY Hella dead?
Superboy Prime-y Pants. Who IS an ASSHOLE.
Because THAT fucker? PUNCHED HIS REALITY SO HARD IT NEARLY SHATTERED. Oh, no, I'm sorry! He punched SOMEONE ELSE'S reality! Because he is a tantruming MAN CHILD! And NOW? Now, Your Majesty, that WHOLE ASS Reality is more hair line cracks then border walls! One good shove? It'll cave in. Killing every soul inside.
The Cleaners are ALREADY circling.
It needs to be patched. Immediately. But that's not something normal ghosts can DO. The Zone won't LISTEN to us. Nor allocate the energy for it. The Concepts of Healing? We can't even FIND them.
We need help.
Please help them, King Phantom. You're the only one who CAN.
@hdgnj @babbling-babull @hypewinter @ailithnight @mutable-manifestation @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter
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things from the 2001 television programme band of brothers that haunt me to this day:
- we’re paratroopers lieutenant, we’re supposed to be surrounded. not to be your 60 year old military obsessed uncle about it but that line goes hard
- nix’s little giggle he does sometimes
- I’ll never forgive them for leaving gene’s medic training out of their training montage. in fact you know what? go back in time, film a parallel sequel of the other 9 eps from gene’s pov
- popeye’s “they called you guys too?” and the way his accent specifically scratches my brain
- they gave me moose heyliger and his massachusetts accent for like 20 minutes then the narrative snatched him away from me and i still miss him
- the way meehan looks at winters after he tells him to close the flap, in fact let’s talk about how every single one of winters’ commanders are obsessed with him in one way or another he truly is the it girl
- the chaos and fear that precedes gene and the calm and comfort that follows him
- I know everyone thinks “we’ll go to chicago, I’ll take you there” is the insane line but the one that actually makes me lose sleep is “what, and give up all this?” THAT MAN SAID I WOULD RATHER LIVE THROUGH THE HORRORS OF WAR THAN HAVE LIVED MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU
- alley is So Beautiful and I don’t think we collectively talk about it enough
- babe being some rando replacement in episode three and whilst his other replacement friends are being absolutely roasted he is immediately adopted by bill and then gets gene fucking roe of all people to connect to him?? he’s too powerful I need to study him
- speirs being this ghoulish terrifying boogeyman until lip is anywhere near him then he’s suddenly dimples and kicking his feet and giggling
- speaking of lip and speirs their little sarcastic in jokes, lip finishing speirs’ sentences fml it’s giving married
- you been working out? IN FRONT OF EVERYONE?? LIEB YOU SLUT?? THEN YOURE GONNA LAY IN HIS BED WAITING FOR HIM??? insane behaviour
- the unexplored but high potential friendships and the way I wanted like 16 more episodes for shifty and lip, nix and luz, nix and web, sisk and perconte, winters and gene, grant and tab, lieb and alley, speirs and harry, etc
- the more haggard and bitchy nix gets the hotter he gets. he also must be studied.
- “you should pack up those ears and go home” ok sobel kinda ate with that one ngl
- speaking of sobel the little confused/bewildered/piss-pants faces he makes david schwimmer the actor you are
- the silly little wide stance pennywise ass run hall does before he gets murked RIP king
- klepto speirs ilysm
- joe toye and his brass knuckles are v sexy
- sink letting nix give winters his oak leaves was very shipper girl of him
- lip harry nix speirs winters in the eagle’s nest dream blunt rotation
- the unsustainable amount of cunt served by nix, frank, babe, and luz at all times is truly a marvel
- tab really checked lip’s dick and balls mid battle and honestly that’s friendship
- bit parts for simon pegg, tom hardy, andrew scott, james mcavoy, michael fassbender, jimmy fallon ?? bob casting director you will always be famous
- peacock is so fine if he was even a little good at his job I’d be obsessed with him (special shout out to the scene of him getting sent home on furlough)
- I could list out every one of their meaningful little moments together but really it’s babe and gene just tethering and grounding each other and how they seem to gravitate to each other out of blind instinct? that’s some Brontë whatever our souls are made of bullshit I’m afraid
- ok I know I said I wasn’t talking about little meaningful moments but gene staring across the convent at where babe is sitting, lost in the peace
-bull in replacements getting imprinted on by a bunch of baby ducks and being SO PLEASED ABOUT IT he’s not the stepfather, he’s the father that stepped up
- speaking of, the underutilization of bull in the back half is such an out of character bad call
- you are officers, you are grown ups, you oughta know. HE’S RIGHT AND HE SHOULD SAY IT AND THAT’S ON GENE BEING THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO TELL OFF WINTERS
- I know nix and winters are married and whatever but the real married couple behaviour is luz constantly pissing off joe and joe immediately letting it go
- lip and speirs and their mutual competency kink
- I’M REAL SORRY FRANK skinny ilysm
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What would marriage life would be like with the seven warlords?
This is an old anon request, I do apologize for not getting to it sooner but here we go
What Marriage Life Would Be Like With the Seven Warlords (Headcanons)
It's pretty chill being married to Mihawk
Y'all just vibe in a mansion on an isolated island
I imagine Mihawk is a person of quality time and acts of service so the two of you would often spend time together
Whether it's reading in your library or cooking dinner for each other, every moment you do together and action you do for him is cherished in Mihawk's heart, even if he doesn't mention it
He makes sure you're healthy and well (eating properly, making sure you get your sleep)
This man will be able to instantly tell if your state is the slightest bit off and will not hesitate to voice his concern
He is not opposed to having children, the idea might amuse him
In fact, after Zoro and Perona had made their appearance, Mihawk grew fond of the idea taking care of his own child, even if they would be irritating at times
Btw, Zoro and Perona think you two act like an old married couple ❤
Only way this would be possible is if you are someone like Luffy
She might not understand exactly what marriage life means but she will do her best to make you happy
She is going to cook for you and feed you
She will bathe you and make sure you have the best clothes to wear
And she will order the best doctors to bring you back to your best health if you get sick
She is taking ✨amazing✨ care of you
The two of you are just living the life of luxury regardless of where you choose to live because you two are together and happy
You will not have kids (for a number of reasons that I will not get into because this is supposed to be a fun post)
Alright, I had no idea what to do for Moria so I asked @ask-the-night-crowl for these headcanons, thank you again Snugs
In a marriage, Moria would totally rely on his partner to fulfill all the duties he has/ should be responsible for. Granted, the other mysterious four already take over most of those, but someone has to keep them all in check.
His spouse better not be aversed by his crew, because for as much as he says he doesn't care about these idiots, he would also face death to protect them.
Unless him and his s/o have known eachother for a pretty long time, he'll try to keep them at an arm's length. Not necessarily because they don't have good enough of a connection, but the idea of loss is always on his mind.
He doesn't mind affection. In fact, he'll back-handedly seek it out by annoying his s/o until they give him attention if he so desires. He's pretty much like an oversized cat.
On the other hand, you'll also have to be prepared not to see him for days on end, because of his sleeping habits (Again, like a cat).
But in that time, cuddling with him is totally fine, because once that man is out, he sleeps like a rock.
His frequent nightmares might lead to the conclusion that comforting him would be the answer. But he hates the idea of being treated as weak as that and would much rather appreaciate the mere presence of his s/o when he wakes up next to them.
In contrast, he'll offer the same to his s/o when they feel down and would have an immediate (even petty) grudge against anyone harming them.
Staying in with him at a fireplace, drinking fancy wines and making fun of the other warlords would be his favorite way to spend time when he's awake for once.
If the spouse is good at cooking, you can bet they'll become his personal chef - after all, love goes through the stomach amirite.
If you're marrying Doffy, his family comes as a package deal, you can't have him without it, that being said, he expects you to get along with them (you can tolerate them instead but just don't let him notice)
Of course, he will expect you to take care of Baby 5, Buffalo, and Dellinger as if they were your children, he is open to making blood offsprings, but never put them before him
Doffy is your number 1 priority, whatever he says goes
But just because he's demanding doesn't mean he won't show you affection, in fact, most of his demands is just him wanting to give or receive affection
You are showed in gifts and luxury, he is the king of Dressrosa afterall, your word has every weight as his own since your are his queen
He is proud to show off his spouse, you are his most prized possession after all
However, you are more than just a trophy, after the loss of his dear mother and brother, he holds you close and tells you how dear you are to him every night
You are often woken up in the middle of the night due to his rustling from nightmares, just hold him to calm him down
Crocodile keeps you in the dark about his work, for all you know, he is a casino owner in Alabasta that keeps the people safe from pirates since he's a warlord
He takes you out for a stroll around in the evening, outside to admire the stars, or in the casino where your every need is met
He doesn't show affection in public but his gestures do show you belong to him and no one else
He keeps you company in bed at night until you fall asleep but when you wake up, he is not there, he's working as always
When see him next, he'll have a gift for you, an apology for not being able to always be around as he is a very busy man, but he'll make it up to you
I imagine it would be comfortable, like little cottage in nature kind of comfy
You both would wake up in the morning with a nice cup of tea
Your place would be clean and organized
You'd receive lots of comforting hugs and cuddles
Life would be peaceful
Until strawhat crew comes knocking on your door
Don't quite have any ideas for Kuma so... This is end, I hope you enjoy anon, and thank you for requesting
#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece scenario#one piece headcanons#one piece imagine#the seven warlords#doflamingo donquixote#sir crocodile x reader#sir crocodile#mihawk x reader#dracule mihawk#boa hancock#jinbei x reader#first son of the sea jinbe#gecko moria x reader#donquixote doflamingo#doflamingo x reader#hawkeye mihawk#one piece warlords#gecko moria#doffy x reader#doffy#doflamingo#crocodile x reader#one piece crocodile#boa hancock x reader
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Spicy Jake: Aftercare
Jake Lockley x You (Fem!Reader) 1,532 words / 18+ only, no minors Masterlist. If you like what you see, leave a like or reblog and follow me ♥ Summary: What if Jake took care of you after Marc had his way with you? Focusing on the aftercare, you find there's a gentler side to his rougher counterpart. Notes: Don't ask me what this is. You'll never take me alive. Warnings: Aftercare, post-rough sex, overstimulation, bondage/restraints, bruises and marks, creampie, established relationship, all the pet names, affection, comfort, fluff.
Jake was yanked all too violently to the front, taking a second to try and fight for some air back into his lungs. Eyes wildly scanning his surroundings. Expecting to be amidst some kind of fight, he discovered it was something else entirely. That last orgasm had sent Marc to the clouds and drawn Jake into the fray. Hadn’t been the intention of either of them, but Jake accepted it was what it was.
Couldn’t really complain when you were beneath him, your knees propped up with your back to him. Your face shoved into the sheets and your hands tied behind your back. His hand had been gripped around your waist and holding onto the ties of your restraints.
His cock spent but still buried deep inside of you. Any movement was sending your oversensitive cunt into a new spiral. Watching the mess spread out around where you both connected. It was spilling all down you both. He’d deducted you’d been at it while.
“Oh chica…”
His words came out in a soft drawl. Hips readjusting to watch you whine for him as he kept his movements slow but continued to thrust as deep as he could take it. His eyes trailed over the red marks and forming bruises the other brute left behind. Jake knew exactly which one of him had done this.
Always Marc who got his rocks off from controlling and using you to take out his frustrations. Steven was too desperate to please you. As for Jake? Well. Jake just wanted to treat you better than anyone else ever could. Most importantly, he wanted nothing more than to dote on you.
At the sound of his voice, you look over your shoulder up to him. If he thought your behind and ass looked bad, your face wasn’t looking much better. Red angry fingerprints scattered where he’d forced your jaw open and held it in place. Smeared lipstick and puffy red lips. The evidence of why your lipstick was like that remained at the base of his dick.
Mascara had streaked down your cheeks. Rosy from being slapped a few times. A dazed content smile spread across them. Jake couldn’t think of anything more beautiful than the sight of you like this. You looked happy, satisfied and ready for a little tenderness. He could do that.
Taking care of others wasn’t new for Jake. On those darkest of nights when Marc had gone looking for answers in the bottom of a bottle, it was always Jake taking over in the end. He stumbled to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Downing as much water from the sink as he could keep down.
Somehow he’d navigate the spinning fun house while hauling their asses back to bed. All so Steven could suffer the consequences more comfortably the following morning. Jake couldn’t always be there to take away the pain. Sucks to suck, Grant. He’d probably feel this in the morning too.
Jake reached for the knots around your wrists. Undoing the restraints. Pulling himself out from inside you. Hearing your softer groan turning into a whine and huffing in amusement.
“Mi amor. Went overboard did we? A little too oversensitive now, si?”
“Shut yourself up.”
You try to bite back. Sounded more exhausted than threatening. You sounded proud of yourself too. As you should. Jake wasn’t looking much better himself. Hair was all tussled and out of place. Sweat dripped down his chest.
“Ah, and so she still knows how to hiss.” Jake said to himself and laughed.
Gently he nudged your hips to bring you to lay down on your side. Shifting to lay down beside you. His face looking back at yours. You were too content to feel embarrassed that he got to see you in this state. Jake didn’t seem to mind at all. He reached up to stroke your face. Licking his thumb lazily to wipe some of the smears away.
“You’re going to have to be a lot fiercer than that to get me to shush, mi pequeña leona.”
“Mi pequeña leona.” You test the words on your mouth. “My little what?”
Much too tired to be doing anything about him. You always liked the way he looked so proud when you practiced more of your Spanish for him.
“My little lioness.”
He leaned in to press a kiss against your head. His hand reached down to stroke over your ribs and down along the side of your body. You shiver and try not to move much.
“Lioness? Why? Because I bite first?”
“Si.” Jake smiled a little more. You loved seeing the way the corners of his eyes creased. How relaxed and content he looked. Took a long time to bring his guard down.
He leaned up on his arm and looked around. Dropping his head back into the pillow beside you with a dissatisfied sigh. You gave him an expectant look. You knew what he was about to say, and so you waited for him to say it anyway.
“He never brings you a towel before he fucks you, does he?”
And there it was. Same old, same old. You smile knowingly. Would have laughed better if you had more energy to. It comes out quiet and distant.
“Would you get me some water too?”
“For you? Anything.”
He started to get up, but dipped back down quickly to kiss against your temple. Muttering the words close to your head.
“Should I run you a bath too?”
“No, it’s okay. Think I should sleep it off.”
“Sure thing, chica. Back soon. Don’t go anywhere.”
As if you could. You hummed your amusement as Jake disappeared off past the bookcase and beyond. You moved to roll onto your back and winced. The uncomfortable tingling sting along your rear had you rolling back onto your side again.
You took solace in knowing Marc would be just as hurt to find out he’d not been there to take care of you after. As rough as he could get, he always did love relishing in the after care. Stroking your body, making you a meal, or massaging you where you needed it.
You smile when you see him coming back through the doorway. Carrying a glass of iced water with a silicone straw. There was a damp towel folded and draped over his bare shoulder. Carrying himself differently. You could tell by the way he sauntered to your side it was still Jake.
His knee came up on the bed and leaning over you, he helped you to lift your head up enough to drink. A firm hand held you until you nodded a signal you were finished drinking. The cold of it was refreshing and needed after how long you’d gone without. He brought the glass to his own lips to drink the rest, narrowly avoiding the straw in his eye. You hear a crunch of ice between teeth. He chewed while placing the glass on the bedside table behind you. Moving in to curl up behind you. Light kisses along your shoulder.
“Gonna clean you up and get you under the sheets. Tell me if I’m too rough.”
“Please, I’m not fragile.”
“If you say so.”
Jake reached for the damp towel and tugged it off his shoulder. Bringing it down in a slow rub down over your ass. You breathe in sharp and tensed up to the wet cloth. It’d been ran under warm water but left cold in its wake.
“Okay okay. Gentle. Please.” You breathe.
“Si señora.” Jake mutters. Dipping in for another kiss against your shoulder.
He cleaned you up. Manipulating your leg to hold it up while he wiped down between your sticky folds. You making a noise for him, but Jake knew better than to play into your mood of wanting more. You needed to rest. He was tired too.
Soon enough he was moving again, getting the sheets from under to help bring them over the both of you. You helped, kind of. Rolling over to face him in the move.
“My turn.” You say.
“Not tonight. You need to-”
“No not that. Roll over.”
“Que?”
“I want to cuddle you for a change. Roll over.”
Jake gave you a hard stare, you half-expected him to refuse or talk his way out of it. Instead, his features relaxed and he leaned in to chase your lips for one last kiss before turning his back to you.
Your leg hitches up to wrap around his waist. Arm under his neck. Chest against his back. You kiss into his hair. Feeling Jake’s hand wrap around your wrist for his thumb to stroke.
“Mi pequeña mochila propulsora.” He snickered and you hummed in confused amusement.
“What am I this time?”
“My little jet pack.”
You were both breaking into laughter. Jake turned to catch another kiss of yours. A little messy but he seemed to need the contact, so you lifted your head to meet him. You cuddled up into him and before long, sleep soothed any aches that remained. Jake didn’t move. Lay there for the longest time listening to you breathe before sleep caught up with him too.
#jake lockey#marc spector#oscar isaac#moon knight#jake lockley x you#jake lockley x reader#jake lockley x fem!reader#moon knight fanfiction#moon knight smut#jake lockley smut#mcu smut#marvel#open rp#open starter#jakes pov
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ok I need elaboration on pretty much all of those bankais that you haven't already talked about but for now i'm probably most curious about ichigo and hanataro? please, a measly few crumbs of context
The short version of Ichigo's sword situation is that he is D'artanigan to Zangetsu's Three displaced-during-the-fuckery-surrounding-his-parent's-meet-cute-slash-manslaughter-thing Musketeers. We got his dad's half-starved family Zanpakuto, The Family Ghost from his Mom's side, and a guy made in an evil instapot that wandered in here on accident and precipitated the whole enfuckening. They are untied in their goal of "Keep Ichigo Alive" but unfortunately they also have a collective IQ of Negative Four.
Reader: Gee Ichigo, why does the author let you have THREE Zanpakuto spirits?
Ichigo: That's nothing! Orihime has SIX!
Ichigo and Orihime's nonsense is connected to how The Almighty operates:)
Meanwhile, short summaries of Unohana and Byakuya's Bankai under the cut:
Unohana:
Minazuki is a sword primarily about the manipulation of flesh- healing injury, making better fighters by pushing the flesh to it's limits- This is a spirit that is distinctly VISCERAL in nature. It has mass. It has a very distinct body.
So it follows that, in order to supply injured patients with blood and drugs and new flesh and everything else, Minazuki is giving up some of her Mass. Consequently, the Stingray form of Minazuki is the SECOND one- she cannot create her elixirs and make new flesh from nothing. First she must FEED.
Which is why Minazuki's liquid format is acidic blood that devours anything organic. It's why Kenpachi!Unohana's bloodthirst was so bloodthirsty: she was literally starving for biomass to complete her sword's two forms and finally put her Soul in Balance.
In the fic, Ukitake is one of a handful of people old enough to remember "Yachiru" Unohana, and until Zaraki's arrival, probably the closest to understanding her. That Unohana and Retsu both understand the horrors of the flesh he lives with every day more intimately than anyone else in his life, and it's the basis of an almost sacred friendship between them. He knows perfectly well where the emergency transfusions and drugs she creates come from, and they have a standing agreement that if he predeceases her, she is to feed his body to Minazuki so he can pay forward at least some of the debt given to him.
He will not be the first of Unohana's friends that have been willingly devoured by her sword.
Byakuya:
Senbonzakura has been with the Kuchiki family for generations, passed from one head of the clan to the next in a sacred ritual that allows the Zanpakuto to bond to its new weilders and grant them the power accumulated with generations.
But for course, everything has it's cost.
Byakuya was not the head of the Kuchiki clan when his father Sojun died prematurely and make Byakuya the orphan heir apparent as an adolescent. He was not the head when he met Hisana in a grove of cherry trees in the middle of harvest, and fell in love with her He was not the head when he had a terrible row with his grandfather Ginrei and the rest of the clan elders about his elopement. He was not the head five years later, when on a cold spring morning before the plum trees had blossomed, Hisana died of a miscarriage.
One week later, when the plum trees bloomed and the cherry trees had budded, Byakuya came to his grandfather, head bowed and heart broken, and agreed to take up the mantle of Clan Head. His soul had already been torn in half, what was another half?
Everything has it's cost, and the price of Senbonzakura's power is the sacrifice of the weilder's own original Zanpakuto spirit, and by transference, the imminent death of the previous head.
He had known this day was coming, ever since his own native Zanpakuto spirit failed to awaken at the academy. At the time, he'd thought it a mercy that the poor thing wouldn't awaken and be aware of being devoured. But now, as he held the tiny, warm body of the spirit out to Senbonzakura, he could only think of the child he never got to hold.
...with Senbonzakura, at least, she'd be at rest with something beautiful that loved her.
Because Senbonzakura loves it's family, and in particular it adores Byakuya. It has, ever since Byakuya fearlessly climbed it's branches as a small boy, since he partook of the sword's fruits as a young man, and now, when Byakuya offered the most precious parts of himself to the sword with a sense of peace and profound trust. And Senbonzakura repays that trust in kind.
The sword's shikai release is the same, or at least similar for all it's wielders, but long-term friends of the family note that that is a LOT MORE blades than the sword ever summoned for Ginrei or any other head.
The Bankai is different every time. Senbonzakura is ready to give Byakuya whatever Bankai he wants immediately, but it's not until after he adopts Rukia and sees her fooling around in the family orchards when she thinks he isn't watching that he realizes the shape it should be.
It's name is "Senbonzakura: Sakura no Kaju-en" and it is beautiful and terrible.
Sakura no Kaju-en requires only that Byakuya pierce the flesh of his enemy or the terrain around him with one or more of his petal-blades. Once in the ground or embedded in flesh, the blade is transformed into a seed and an entire magical cherry tree grows from it, converting the Reishi and spiritual energy around it into its own mass. Since Byakuya is effectively wielding somewhere around 10,000 petal blades in his shikai alone, he can summon up to 10,000 devouring cherry trees, which will radically alter the landscape of battle and blossom into millions and millions of new petal-blades.
That is, unless his foe is unfortunate enough to have the blades penetrate their flesh. Then the trees will devour them as they grow. Even a truly massive opponent like Yammy can be mulched in minutes.
The trees initially blossom almost white, but as his enemies are felled and Senbonzakura drinks, the blooms grow pinker and then redder until they transform into deep crimson fruits.
It's a brutal Bankai, but a beautiful one. When Byakuya looks out upon the blooming landscape and tastes the sweet fruits of his efforts, it brings him peace to know the small, sleeping spirit he had to sacrifice is playing somewhere within, they way he saw Rukia playing in the family orchards that day.
#AEIWAM#An Elephant Is Warm And Mushy#bleach#bleach fanfic#ichigo kurosaki#retsu unohana#yachiru unohana#byakuya kuchiki#minazuki#zangetsu#senbonzakura
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A POEM FROM YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE
This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.
I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I do not charge for these readings, and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I get for the readings, but I pull like 15-20 cards each reading and that is just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.
PICK A CARD READING
I asked my spirit guides what your future spouse would say to you if they were to write you a poem and used my intuition to write it for you. Pick a picture to find out what they would like to say.
Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3
PILE 1
Time is an essence granted to those who wait,
Some people have impatience,
Some people worry it’ll come late,
The ones who sit in anticipation trying to speed up the clock,
Are the ones who work in antique shops,
The people who collect the cogs,
Because changing the time on the clock won’t make the stars falter in response,
Even when the hands strike the numbers
where you want it to stop
Because time is an essence granted to those who wait,
For you I cannot count the seconds on my watch,
For I worry that I will lose touch,
As you are not here when I want you to be,
And I cannot speed up the clock,
But when I record the time that I must wait for you to be in my arms,
The beats of my heart are in tune with yours,
And I know it’s worth the chance
PILE 2
The moon is known to have two faces,
and I worry that I do too,
Although I know about the possibility,
I wish not to show them to you,
Will you be scared when you see my shadows?
Will you run away in fear,
if I show you every side of me,
My two faces,
The parts of me I choose to keep within
Tell me a lie and I promise I’ll trust you,
I won’t question your authenticity,
For I don’t believe that you would appear a liar to me,
without a reason to be,
Would you question me too if I was to tell to you anything but the truth?
The moon has two faces and I do too,
but I forbid my shadows to ever harm you
PILE 3
Rainbows are caused by the sun and the rain,
A chemical reaction in the sky,
And although the shower are downfall tears,
I am glad that they’re not mine,
If something negative can create such a beauty,
Then why can’t you and I?
We may not be the perfect pair,
But I’m prepared to give it a try
Ignore the opinions,
And don’t acknowledge the stares,
They’re jealous that you are mine,
Perhaps they think we’re a colossal disaster,
But they are as stupid as they are blind,
Hold out your hand and walk with me,
We’ll give them something to find,
The red carpet paints the floor,
They grant you your time to shine
#tarot#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#free tarot#tarot witch#tarot reading#tarot cards#pick a card#pick a pile
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SR ASC in Natal Chart Houses
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🌼ASC in Solar Return Chart🌼
The ASC in the Solar Return Chart is a vital point ,implementing the first energtical shifts in the SRC for the year ahead. From the start the Sun returns to the same Natal Sign and Degree ,which gets activated on your Birthday. But It is definitly possible to feel those changes prior to 1-3 months before your actual Birthday occurs.
The ASC generally is one of the most visible components in a Chart, giving the outside world a first impression of our presence but also us as individuals automatically exuding the energy of the ASC Sign and taking the world on with the ASC Signs Personality. The Asc is so important because of the how the constellations from all the 12 houses are created and constructed, shaping certain life areas differently and uniquely. So with the ASC in the SR Chart are we adapting to a new energy . Lets say we have Sagittarius as SR ASC , we probably are going to feel more alive and ready to explore the world and step out of our comfort zone. Through our more adventures and curios side we are going to consciously or unconsciously attract opportunities that could help us to really embody this energetic change for that year.
🌼The 12 Houses in a Natal Chart 🌼
As you might as well know with the Asc our 1st house we have 11th other houses that carry their own meanings. In my Solar Return Chart PT.1 you can look up the main interpretation of the 12 houses. To get a quick review and understanding if you don’t know much about houses in Astrology or are inexperienced with them! Click here!!
🌼 How do we go about it?🌼
-> First look at the SR Rising.
Example: SR Chart Capricorn Rising
-> Secondly I would recommend you guys using whole sign system for your Natal Birth Chart but if you are more on the Placidus side then you can also use that.
-> Thirdly look at the Signs of each houses in your Natal Chart, and see in which house capricorn sits in.
Natal Gemini Rising (whole sign)
Gemini = 1 st house
Cancer = 2nd house
Leo= 3rd house
Virgo= = 4th house
Libra = 5th house
Scorpio = 6th house
Sagittarius = 7th house
Capricorn = 8th house
Aquarius = 9th house
Pisces = 10th house
Aries = 11th house
Taurus = 12th House
AS SR Chart in Capricorn -> Capricorn in the 8th house in the Natal Chart
🌼!!! End result = SR ASC ruling the 8th house of Natal Chart 🌼
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When we try attaching our Solar Return ASC with our Natal ruling houses, we create an ultimate strong connection with this two energy portals. The ASC in SRC has then the ability to dig and dive deeper into your life experiences for the year ahead granting you with huge lifestyle changes by expanding the Natal House Area predominantly, having opportunities arise because of how in sync and aligned these two Charts are with each other. From my experience it is the MOST important SR Chart Placement to look at, to get the bigger picture of how the Year will turn out for you.
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🌼SR ASC in natal 1st house 🌼:
You will feel the need to put more focus on yourself, this is a time period that is invested in your own well being. Prioritizing the self, stepping up for yourself, going by the own beat of your drum, this is the time to develop a strong and healthy ego that sets a firm solid base . This placement can indicate you are changing, maybe your personality can shift and become more mature like growing into adulthood, becoming a mother, aging, losing or gaining something about yourself . There possible life events that could lead to your identity being transformed whether for the better or worse. Everything that you thought was you might come to an end and a new you is reborn. You can decide to make changes on your physical appearance like buying a completely new style of clothes, dying your hair in a different color than usual, doing your makeup a bit differently, speaking tone can change, attempting (cosmetic surgery, all kinds of surgery), finding small or big things about yourself that could improve, this the time to explore what you like, don't like, core values, what you might identify as, your gender, sexuality and what place you take in society. This period is giving you the opportunity and chance to step into your true purpose, following your own voice, ideas, beliefs, feelings and intuition. You can gain an abundance of attention for just simply being you. People can effortlessly gravitate more to the new energy you carry. The relationship to the self can consume a lot of energy and time because of how deep, insightful and significant this journey is going to be for you.
Questions you might ask: How do i feel? Who am I ?What do I like? Do i really want to do this or am I just going by the rules that have been instructed to me since childhood ? Do I feel good about myself? Do I even like myself? What do i realy want and desire? How do i feel about this? Is this right for me? Am i really who i portray to be? Do i love my self? What can i do for myself to get to a better place? Am i happy with my life ? Am sad, angry, bitter depressed? What can i change about myself?
🌼SR ASC in natal 2nd house 🌼:
For the year our dominant life area resolved in building a set foundation. We tend to look more at what we have within us or outside of us. This is the time to reflect about yourself and what kind of beliefs and standards you hold for yourself. This is a journey of loving your strengths and weaknesses. You are going to be able to identify what exactly you need to feel safe in life. Similarly to the 1st house we can put a lot of attention on things that matter the most to us including our core values. We tend to enjoy things more like watching Netflix, reading a book and activities that give us stableness and groundedness. Of course all of it basically depends on our the Sign and Planets in the 2nd house to see where we like to mostly like to engage in life. As an example: Riding a luxurious car while the sun goes down, cooking or baking our favorite meals, shopping for new clothes, taking a bubble bath. Here the small and easy things in life become a place where we show more gratitude. With the 2nd house ruled by Taurus we have the ability to create and build lasting things such as working towards establishing money assets and how to make them expand over time, gaining more knowledge and experiences with money. we begin to prioritize our material items and possessions and start placing more value on them, looking around at what material items carry the most meaning in our life, selling clothes even to gain money from them. Ideally you might as well start spending your money more on things that grant your life with pleasure. We might want to involve people dearest to us with the same experience and place what kind of value they bring to us.
Ouestions you might ask: Am i good enough? Is what i do save enough for me? What items do i want to purachse next? Maybe I can sell this? How secure do i feel right now? Do I see myself as worthy? Is my life stable? How can i gain more money? Where should i invest more of my energy and time? What kind of value does this person or relationship bring?Is it worth is????
🌼SR ASC in natal 3rd house 🌼:
With SR ASC in the natal 3rd house we encounter a very interesting and busy year ahead, expressing ourselves more openly and communicative to the public . As the 3rd is ruled by Gemini there are many experiences that will led you to explore your everyday life, being distracted with multiple tasks and chores, whether it´ll be working on group projects at school or any kind of environment where you have to express and communicate your thoughts, ideas and beliefs. You probably will feel comfortable engaging more in intellectual topics like reading, joining a book club, learning a new language being more active on social media or simply curious about anything. It's possible to create something like a podcast, music, or writing a book , where you are able to exchange Information with different kinds of people. This year includes a lot of changes in your everyday life stepping out of your own comfort zone like having to attend more job interviews if you are job hunting, being intensely involved with classmates or people in your everyday life. A huge important role that can have an impact on you is the relationship to your siblings, they could reach out to you after not being in contact for a long time or you might take that the initiative, wanting bond with them and try fixing the relationship, if you both have not been in good terms with each other in the past. Also what we can not forget here , is that you might gain a NEW baby sibling, nephew, nieces in your family. Additionally short transportation can be a focal point for this year, you might get your driver license and buy a new car. Or you'll probably use it frequently for future trips, if you don't own a car then be ready to spend a lot of your time traveling with public transportation :)
Ouestions you might ask: How should I express myself? Did they understand me clearly? Why are there so many things that i need to do? How should i writte this?Are they listening to me? Should i do more tasks or less? Am i running late for school/ work, Did they like my presentation? How is my sister/brother? Why not talk about this? Should i create an You Tube channel? Why not learn French???
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🌼SR ASC in natal 4th house🌼:
We start the year reflecting on our home environment and how we might want to have it in the future. Our minds are filled with imaginary pictures of beautiful and perfect homes and living spaces where we want to coconut ourselves and spend the — of our time. Nothing matters more to us than withdrawing from the day to day busy life. We want to create a peaceful and soothing living space for ourselves and family members. With these temptations we join a journey of searching for a place where we might want to settle down and call our HOME. With that being said ,we automatically attract situations and opportunities that lead us to change our living situations like , purchasing a new real estate, designing and renovating our current living space, moving out of our parents/grandparents home, moving out of our home, moving out of our hometown, moving to a new city or even country, we can move in with our partners after dating or marriage, our families can grow bigger due to new family members like the birth of a child which results into us purchasing a bigger home for the family. As you can see there are so many different possibilities to expand your current living spaces or make a few changes. But sadly it could be possible for you to take more responsibilities for the family, like taking care of your parents or grandparents in times of sickness or urgency. Situations like these encourage you to invest more time and care into your private life with family members you haven't talked to for years. This is the time to set strong and long lasting bonds with the people closest to you.The 4th house rules our origin, roots, ancestry and childhood so here we might be interested in discovering new things about our family history, visiting our hometown/country to explore our historical background or past childhood memories. We are asked to rest in our maternal feminine energy by taking care of domestic chores like cooking, cleaning and preparing things . In this phase you could be more in touch with your feelings and emotions having a stronger connection to your intuition and ancestors. :)
Ouestions you might ask: Where do i feel the most safe and nutured? Where do I want to live? How much do i know about my familys history? How is mom/dad brother? What do I need to take care of? Should i visit my home town? Do i enjoy my living space? Is it time for me to move out? Should we move in togehter? Am i able to take care of my mother? Where is my Intuition guiding me?
🌼SR ASC in natal 5th house🌼:
With SR ASC in the 5th house, we tend to experience a very exciting year ahead. Starting to engage with our personal interests and hobbies more often. This is a time for you to really explore your creative, imaginary world deeply. It's common to suddenly not take life that much seriously and adopt a more fun and lighthearted attitude. The 5th house hands us the gift to let our inner child play, wild and free with whatever hobbys or creative activities that come to our minds like, painting, digital art, fashion, if you are into singing you might have the courage to enter the music industry. People who might have an interest in writing could start sharing their thoughts and ideas with the world. (example: this year i have this placement in my SR Chart and guess what i suddenly started my Astro Blog on tumblr because it turned out to be something that i like and find interesting ) . We place more of our focus and on things that give us pleasure,happiness and joy by following our first internal instincts and desires. But the down side of this placement if not harnessed in a healthy manner can cause us to act out impulsivly, over engaging in pleasurable and destructive behaviors like, unhealthy consumption of alcohol,drugs, sleep, food, shopping, mast**bation, SE* etc. Big theme here for you is to " just live in the moment" , having fun, being more spontaneous, flirtatious, going to parties more frequently , playing all sorts of games with friends, simply celebrating life. An interesting path that you could also encounter for this year, are children . Whether you have children or siblings, you'll probably try connecting and bond with them. Or you could attract situations where you might have to take care of them like through babysitting roles. It's also quietly possible to get pregnant this year . With the 5th house we could enter into a romantic era with potential suitors, that we might date, have an affair with, a short term fling, an tinder dating phase , (fwb), or getting into a relationship with, there definitely different outcomes of this situations, so you might as well can stay single and enjoy your life ;)
Ouestions you might ask: How about trying something new? Should i go out more? Do i want to have children? Maybe i could start creating this idea, Should i join a dating website, Can´t i just relax and have fun time?
🌼SR ASC in natal 6thhouse🌼:
We are given the opportunity here to get our lifes organized and fixed. The 6th house is another house that gives us groundness and stability through utilizing routines that work for our daily living. You will probably put a heavy focus on how you operate your routines, if it is healthy, if it fulfills your set standards and goals or if you can improve them. This is a time period where you are occupied with a lot of things at school, work or generally in life. This could also be a phase where young teens enter into their adulthood trying to cope with daily responsibilities. Your daily routine can drastically change after entering an important life stage like a new job, apprenticeship, promotion, new school. Your attention can also be directed at health matters. you will put more value on healthy diets, eating more organic and natural foods, cooking attentively to your desired health plan. You will reflect on past behavior patterns to see if they were healthy or unhealthy, if you have been only eating junk food, been on the phone daily for over 7h, not consistent with body hygiene. You could like observing your physical body more, figuring out what you like and don't like and how you can fix it. Here we are prone to attend occasionally to doctors appointments for health conditions like discovering illness,sickness, health conditions where we have to take our medications and supplements regularly. This year is going to make you very busy, similar to the 3rd house, having to create a tight and fixed schedule because you don't have that much free time. Planning and Organising is a huge focus for the year ahead. In this time period you´ll probably be introduced to new coworkers or you will be introduced to people at work because of a job change. Encountering situations, occasions where you have to teach, assist and help people like at work, grocery shopping, are common for this year and can also be the other way around. Fun fact: You could adopt a new pet, of course if you like pets :)
Ouestions you might ask: Do i need to change my routine? How will go about this situation? How is my health condition doctor? Should i adopt a new pet? Sould i stop eating 3 buckers of ice cream everyday? Maybe i should get bracets (not saying that anything is wrong about having crooked theeth) How should i plan this apponintment into my scheuduel?
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PT.2 coming out soon :)
Thanks for reading
❁~Milly~❁
❁SR Chart Interpreataion PT.1❁
❁ SR Chart Interpreataion PT.2❁
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#astro placements#astro community#astro posts#astrology#astro observations#birth chart#astro notes#astr#astro#astroblr#solar retun chart#solar return
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