#and all he does is play up nostalgia and fan service

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

TECH RADAR REVIEW OF 'HOUSE OF THE DRAGON' S2. HIS OPINION BASED ON THE FIRST 4 EPISODES THAT HE WATCHED OF S2.

SPOILERS! FOR S2:

ABOUT TOM GLYNN-CARNEY'S PERFORMANCE AS KING AEGON II TARGARYEN:

"Aegon II, Westeros' new royal, is the biggest beneficiary of more extensive screen time, with Glynn-Carney bringing some much needed levity – plus youthful impatience, reckless naivety – to bear in episode 1 and in later entries, deep humanization to a character, who we're supposed to despise, in the only way that a GoT series can."

"HOUSE OF THE DRAGON'S SUPPORTING CAST, SPECIALLY IT'S YOUNGER MEMBERS, GETS MORE TO DO THIS SEASON."

ABOUT PHIA SABAN AS QUEEN HELAENA TARGARYEN IN SEASON TWO:

"Helaena's (Phia Saban) roles are also pleasingly expanded; the eccentric and cryptic Helaena becomes central to key storylines leading up to this season's jaw-dropping fourth episode."

"SEASON 2 ZOOMS OUT TO EXPLORE THE INTENSIFYING INTERFAMILIAL CONFLICT'S IMPACT ON THE WHOLE OF WESTEROS."

"Opening with a nostalgia-fuelled return trip to Winterfell a fleeting visit that reminds us of the ever-looming threat beyond The Wall in its very first scene, season 2 slowly lays bare the wider effects of the increasingly bitter Targaryen-Hightower feud on Thrones."

"Indeed, it inadvertently acts as the catalyst for smaller scale battles to erupt between long-warring families, such as Houses Blackwood and Bracken."

"After all, season 2 marks the official start of the devastating, years-long civil war known as The Dance of the Dragons, so I certainly hoped for more action. Nonetheless, observing the blood-curdling, silent horror-imbued aftermath of the Blackwood-Bracken battle made my imagination run wild about how this barbaric struggle played out."

"THE WALL WON'T BE THE ONLY LOCATION IN S2 THAT GOT FANS WILL RECOGNIZE. HARRENHAL WILL ALSO PLAY A PROMINENT ROLE THIS SEASON."

RYAN CONDAL ABOUT HARRENHAL IN S2:

"Harrenhal definitely is its own character in the show. It had its own character in the original books [and] in the original series when Arya was playing cup bearer for Tywin there."

"Other than the Red Keep, it's probably the most talked-about, storied castle in Westeros, and we really wanted to pay service to it. Whether it's real or rumored, it does have this supernatural aura around it that does put people off. We were excited to play that out as storytellers."

ABOUT GAYLE RANKIN AS ALYS RIVERS IN S2:

(whose mysterious arrival was teased in s2's final trailer)

"The enigmatic Alys Rivers was particularly fascinating to me, not least due to her involvement in Daemon's Harrenhal-situated season 2 arc; a personal subplot with the unsettling, almost Macbethian atmosphere and twisty-turny narrative of a psychological horror movie."

[randomthefox]

I haven’t watched the Sonic Movies, I’ve taken your word on them being terrible. But I still wanted to look at another review for the third instalment to see the other side of the camp and it shocked me. I watched the game apologist talk about it and his video can be summed up with “the plot was terrible, but it was worth it to get to the fan service.” It feels like I’m living in a simulation. In what universe can you call the plot of a movie bad but then still herald it as peak fiction? A good movie requires every aspect of itself to work together to make something truly great. But then people will talk about how the non Sonic characters are terrible, but brush that criticism aside as if it’s like a coast of doing business. No! You can’t say that the plot is terrible and half the characters are terrible and then turn around and say it’s the best movie ever! It is not something you have to just accept. It means the movie is bad.

The people who love these movies are insistent that nostalgia is good for its own sake and that you’re wrong for saying otherwise to ruin people’s enjoyment. No! Fuck you! If you’re so brain dead that all it takes is to see some familiar images to get you to love something, you need to be belittled and insulted until you wake the fuck up out of whatever simulation you’ve been trapped in so you can consume media that’s actually good. I don’t love Sonic because of nostalgia. I’m a relatively recent Sonic fan. I love this series because it has good gameplay and tells actually entertaining stories.

Why is it that the games get shit on but the movies get next to no scrutiny from what I’ve seen? What is the psychological reason behind this behaviour from the masses that proves that the universe isn’t just pulling a prank on me? Is the reason just that people are just following the band wagon? The only reason people say the video games are bad is because it’s such a widely accepted opinion? But the movies are new, and because there’s no hate band wagon created by a bunch of idiots, people are calling it peak fiction for capturing a mere whiff of what made the original story great?

The Sonic Double Standard. That which is bad when other franchises do it, is celebrated when Sonic does it. And that which is praised when other franchises do it, is criticized when Sonic does it.

You can tell a lot about a piece of media based on how the people who like it talk about it. Case in point, I'm watching a seven hour video about how Sonic CD is the best game ever. And while I don't agree with every word of it, particular the words which are just "look at all these OTHER Sonic games which are BAD!" the way it's talking about Sonic CD is so thoughtful analytical and enthusiastic that it's giving me a better appreciation for the game than ever before. I decided to replay Sonic CD because of this video and I feel like I was able to enjoy it more this time than I have previous times playing it because of this video.

On the other hand, watching Lowarts videos about the Archie Sonic comics made me HATE those comics more deeply and feverishly than I had ever hated them before. Listening to the way this person WHO LIKES THE COMICS AND THINKS THEY'RE GOOD talk about them, the utterly anemic praise that he offered, the completely brainless and devoid of thought analysis of the text that bordered on sheer illiteracy. The dude was literally saying "Archie Sonic is best Sonic" while having NOTHING POSITIVE or SUBSTANTIVE to say about the comic whatsoever.

You gotta see past what they're saying and look at the code of the matrix basically. And the movies are the same way. Look at the way people who like it talk about it. They spend half their time making excuses for it, and the other half going "yeah well the video games suck anyway, so we should just be happy with what we get" when you really break it down. Their argument for why we should enjoy the movies is basically that we need to have absolutely no critical standards whatsoever. What a stunning endorsement.

Not to toot my own horn, but compare and contrast against the way I talked about Elise in Sonic 2006, or Sonic Lost World, or Sonic Forces, or the Sonic Adventure games. Or Dragon Quest. Or Yu-Gi-Oh. Or any of the other shit that I really like. I like to think I'm closer on the spectrum to Sparky's World than Game Apologist, if I do speak for myself anyway.

If a fruit is ripe and delicious, then hearing someone talk about how wonderful it is to eat it will make you salivate all the more. If a fruit is rotten and moldy, then hearing someone try to convince you that you should close your eyes plug your nose and just fucking swallow it will make you resent that inedible garbage even more than ever before.

[brsb4hls]

Right, this will probably be one of the most wank-inducing polls ever, but I just gotta do it.

Personal opinion and explanation (kinda) under the cut.

Here it comes:

Why do I ask?

Well, to me it seems pretty clear Jensen seems ok with Misha getting his 15 minutes and acting what was important to him, but does not want to get dragged into it.

He has become more fan positive, but with the occssional foot in mouth and mocking.

I keep seeing takes like 'if Jensen has any say in the revival, Destiel will be fully canon' and I absolutely do not see it this way from what I've witnessed.

Dean is Jensen's most popular character and I feel what Jensen likes most about him apart from emotional depth and the hero thing is that Dean is 'cool' in old people terms. (Jensen is 'old people' kinda compared to some of his fan base).

He f.e. loved the purgatory storyline mostly because he got a rad new jacket and weapons.

He said so himself in an interview.

He wants Dean to be in the spotlight being awesome.

And yes, this will absolutely sound homophobic, but I think that Jensen feels Dean being openly bi would 'ruin' the character for some of his fans.

That doesn't mean Jensen himself is homophobic, he is an actor and interacts positively with queer people, but he has an outdated mindset (most likely due to how he was raised).

I know he played a bisexual character once, but nobody outside of his hartcore fanbase remembers that and he did not act it out on screen. It was all lip service and mostly about Marilyn anyways (talking about 'Blonde' here).

And then it never happened again.

In 'The Boys' he was so painfully straight it almost did not fit the show.

So I simply don't think it would fit his 'portfolio' (he is often type-cast anyways) in his eyes.

Then in 'The Winchesters' Cas wasn't even mentioned. It was all about nostalgia. And Jensen easily could have slipped in a neutral acknowledgement.

So, let me know what you think and why.

Also, no, again, I don't want to imply Jensen's homophobic, he is just socialized in a certain way and has an age where he grew up with 'gay jokes' being peak comedy.

This is all subjective speculation, I do not know that man personally, so I'm aware I have no actual clue like the most of us.

I'm just interested in how people come to completely different conclusions.

[ncisfranchise-source]

The CBS fall 2024 season takes one of its most popular franchises back in time with NCIS: Origins. The NCIS prequel is set in 1991 and centers on a young Leroy Jethro Gibbs (Austin Stowell) earlier in his career as a special agent at the fledging (NIS) Naval Investigation Service’s Camp Pendleton, which eventually becomes the iconic NCIS division we know today.

Gibbs joins a ragtag team led by Mike Franks, with Kyle Schmid stepping into the role originated in the flagship series by Muse Watson. The weight of taking on this legend is not lost on Schmid. It’s arguably the biggest gig to date for the Canadian who got his start on Disney Channel in the early ’00s and whose recent resume includes starring on the History military series Six and recurring on Syfy’s Being Human and ABC’s Big Sky.

Despite being fatally stabbed in Season 8 of NCIS, Mike Franks would appear from time to time to guide mentee Gibbs (Mark Harmon) as an almost guardian angel. Here, Schmid, who is expecting his first child with his wife Caity Lotz, gives us an early tease of what’s to expect from the flashback spinoff.

What does it mean for you to be part of the legacy of this NCIS franchise? What kind of resource has Mark Harmon been for this new cast? 

Kyle Schmid: I think it’s a great opportunity to be part of something grandfathered into the industry as a standard for procedural television. It has been running for what’s going to be seasons. Mark Harmon did it and put his stamp on it and kind of led the way for everybody. It has been a really neat experience because he has lent his expertise and advice and help to all of us through emails and calls. Just time spent piquing his brain has been really important.

At a stage of your life where you’ve gotten married, having a kid and you get to shoot at Paramount in Los Angeles. I feel like I’ve won the lottery. I can’t wait to continue to work with the cast that was put together. I’m a legitimate fan of everybody they put together for this show. Incredible wife, job, house, and a baby on the way. My life has just become very complete, so I’m very lucky.

Have you had much communication with Muse? 

He and I have become friends. We talk every couple of weeks and catch up on life. Having his blessing to play a younger version of a character he developed has been very cool.

How would you describe where we’ll be introduced to Mike at this point in his life and career? 

He had been part of NCIS for a while. In 2001, when you meet him he is a little older, a little more jaded. He has seen a lot that I think he wished he could have had more control over. So, we’re seeing him at a point in his life where he has paved his own way and earned the respect of the agency. Now he has the opportunity to build a team that he sees as being some of the most promising agents in NCIS. We get to meet those people and see those people grow. He is still at a point where he gets to mentor Gibbs. I think we’ll get to see why Gibbs was who the world fell in love with in the original NCIS and how he came to be that way. And Mike Franks is a big part of that.

With the show taking us back to the 1990s, what kind of vibe do you see us getting? I’m looking forward to feeling that nostalgia. 

The music is what excites me. I was born in the early 1980s, so I like Pearl Jam and Nirvana. Those are still on my daily playlist. I failed to mature with music and am stuck in the 1990s. We have incredible music. I think it’s fun to play with the dynamics of the male-female relationship in the workplace. We get to live in a world where things are a little backward compared to today. I think it’s going to be really interesting how David [J. North] and Gina [Lucita Monreal], who are our showrunners and are phenomenal, decide to tackle that.

We get to see how Mike Franks gets to play a 40-year-old in an industry in 1991 that we in present-day America have forgotten, and have tried to change. I think that will be really interesting for the show. I did a show with Tom Fontana a few years ago. He is one of the best writers I’ve ever worked with. He said to me that there are no black-and-white characters. There are only gray characters. The people who are the bad guys don’t know they’re bad guys. They are just doing the best they know. I think 1991 in Los Angeles is a very poignant point in history with a lot that happened. We’re going to be able to explore all of that with phenomenal directing. I think with a younger and edgier cast, it will make for an edgier show in the process. This is super exciting because we have phenomenal actors who really get to dig into this stuff that I’m hoping will blow teh doors wide open.

You’re going into filming this show at a time when you’re becoming a dad. Just moved into a new house with Caity still working as well. How are you all preparing for all that? 

It’s a good question. Luckily, I have the best wife in the world. Caity’s mom is going to come to town. My dad’s coming to town. I love working. Working is something that gives me energy. I get to go to work, which I love, and then come home to a family I love. I’m absolutely burning the candle at both ends with this.

[agentnico]

Alien: Romulus (2024) review

Mommy!!

Plot: While scavenging the deep ends of a derelict space station, a group of young space colonists come face to face with the most terrifying life form in the universe.

No one can dispute that the first two entries in the Alien franchise, directed by Ridley Scott and James Cameron respectively, are fantastic pieces of horror action, and have had a major impact on how we see monsters in science fiction today. That being said, typical to the Hollywood blurt machine of milking every franchise to its limits until its stop making money, Alien has been redone so many times, and for the most part the endless sequels, prequels and spin-offs haven’t ever come close to reaching the heights of the original two installments. But hey ho, Hollywood never learns so here we have yet another chapter in the infamous xenomorph saga, with this one setting itself up as the movie that bridges the gap between the original two films, essentially creating the ultimate Alien trilogy. Coming to us from director Fede Alvarez who brought us the creepy Evil Dead remake and blind-man-fucks-shit-up horror Don’t Breathe, Romulus promises to be a gory and thrilling return to form for the franchise, bringing it back the basics of what made these films so special. As always the question is, does he succeed?

I guess kind of. It seems to be a common theme in 2024 with most films that I have watched having been passable at best. Entertaining enough for what they are but not films that will stand the test of time. Alien: Romulus fits perfectly into that faction. This is a solid studio effort, with great sound design, crisp cinematography and a good blend of CGI and practical effects, and I always respect the use of practical effects so kudos to the film crew for putting that extra effort in. The spirit of franchise’s creator Ridley Scott looms all over each scene, with the opening scene reminiscent of Blade Runner and later sequences imbued in that claustrophobic feel that the first movie did so well. The xenomorph creatures are as terrifying and thrilling as always, but I’d say it’s the dastardly face-huggers that get to shine more in this entry, as there are so so many of them this time with the two of the better set-pieces involving them. Though face-huggers have always been a stand out factor in these films, as there is naturally something unsettling and frightening in the idea of something so small attacking through something so intimate as the human’s mouth. So all the creature stuff was great, however with Alvarez’s involvement I was surprised at how tame this movie was. There is gore for sure, but noting that we haven’t seen before, and in fact at times it felt like they were holding back. Guess Mickey Mouse doesn’t allow much blood in his Playhouse.

The cast do their jobs best they could. Look, we’re not expecting any Academy Awards here, but as always the primary purpose of the characters in these films is to survive as long as they can before getting gruesomely killed off. I do wish the characters were given a bit more depth so that we could care a bit more about them, but aside from Cailee Spaeny who essentially plays Ripley but with daddy issues, no other human characters really leave an impression. David Jonsson is the one that provides the real star-making performance as the synthetic android who suffers with elements of autism, as he has to showcase a lot of emotion whilst still coming off robotic enough to fit his characters origins. He gets to do a lot in this movie and all I can say is that kid is going places.

I was never bored during my viewing of Alien: Romulus, but it very much panders to the nostalgia factor of the previous films, by literally copying and rehashing certain scenes and ideas, and even having certain callbacks to service the fans. You can also tell that Disney has now taken over the reigns, as similar to their treatment of Star Wars, this movie brings back a certain character from a previous installment through the magic of visual effects, since the actor that played that character had since passed, except there is no magic as the facial likeness is so jarring and dodgy. It felt really off, and again I’m sure the actor’s estate/family must have given their permission for using their likeness, but there is the moral ambiguity of is something like this should happen or not. But regardless of should they or shouldn’t they have, technology evidently is still not at that level to realistically replicate certain individuals’ expressions and mannerism, so in this movie it doesn’t work at all. The movie also utilises certain themes from Prometheus and Covenant, which I was fine with as it was nice seeing those films finally being connected with the primary storyline, but then the movie also references Alien: Resurrection. Yep, arguably the worst of the franchise, that entry is the inspiration for the final 20 minutes of Romulus. People will either love it or hate it.

It’s simple - if you enjoyed any of the Alien films you’ll have a solid time with Romulus, however it does not in any way reinvent the wheel, and in fact accepts the fact that it will always live in the shadows of its predecessors. Solid thrills and action scenes, and though it’s not that scary, the xenomorph design is as impressive as ever. But boy that Resurrection reference….oh boy.

Overall score: 6/10

[alfred-e-neuman]

Thoughts on Picard S3E9 Vox **Spoilers**

I want to begin by saying the fan-service in this episode was MUCH appreciated by someone who has been watching TNG since they were 5. Many feels were had and I love love LOVE seeing my crew back together again. 

However... I’m not too impressed with where this season went. They played this card in Season 1 AND 2. The Changeling angle was great. It was new, it was unique, and it was leading to what I thought was going to be Star Trek’s own Secret Invasion story. Who is real? Who isn’t? How far and how low does it go? How far back does it go? Was Section 31 aware, are there time traveling agents fighting some historic characters that turned out to be Changling........

No, it was the Borg. Again. For the third time. Sigh. 

Because there is only one bad guy and one enemy of Picard that a whole motion picture and now three whole seasons of Star Trek was needed to showcase the internal struggles of once and infamous Locutus. 

The child in me is so so soooo happy he gets to see everyone on screen again. Having that ability to throw humor in unexpected places. The memories, the nostalgia, it’s so good to see everyone on screen again. 

Adult me is tired that the Borg seem to be the only card in the deck of these show runners. I was so hyped and was so sure that a Star Trek: Secret Invasion story was going to kickstart a new Next Next Generation with combination Kirk/Picard Jack, the genius of the LaForge sisters, maybe Alexander comes into it, who knows. No one, because it’s the Borg. Again. With steaks so god damn high they have one episode to resolve it and it’s going to be rushed and fixed in 3/4ths of the episode length so they can spend the last quarter pumping nostalgia into our hearts as the crew truly, for-realsies, signs off and parts ways. 

I hope something truly spectacular happens in the final episode that changes my perspective on all of this. Otherwise they used nostalgia to hype all of us up for a subpar story conclusion and it feels really dirty.

I now fear that Star Trek as a franchise has gained a big enough audience revenue that it’s going to be turned into the garbage most of Star Wars has become and all of Marvel and DC have become. I wanted Star Trek back so bad, but not like this. They’ve announced the cancellation of Discovery, and this is the end of Picard. Lower Decks, Prodigy, and Strange New Worlds are currently running with Starfleet Academy and a Section 31 show in the works, plus more, maybe?? This is a lot of money for a heavily CGI-ed franchise, I feel the stories of the shows might suffer from it, or studios do what studios do and start prematurely canning shows that aren’t making money. Because--ironically--that’s what it ultimately comes down to. (Irony because of the capitalism being had over a pretty socialist show haha... sigh)

Prove me wrong Star Trek. I wanna be wrong so bad.        

[tuesdayswithlbe]

Dear Reader,

Middle schoolers should not be allowed to do anything. They should be equipped with safety glasses and hard hats before venturing outside, with no patch of sticky, clammy skin left exposed.  Along with allergies, warnings such as “tendency for violence” or “enjoys repeatedly slamming doors” should be printed in red letters under their nametags. I vote we create new summer camp legislation. No middle schooler should enter the bathroom without signing a waiver.

            You may respond to this with the gentle nostalgia of someone who has never worked as a camp counselor. “But you were a middle schooler once!” You might protest. Untrue, my family and I decided to skip this time of life for the benefit of all.

Much like Jesus, it took me moments to grow in wisdom and stature from child to quiet adult. The analogy does not extend as far as the “favor with God and men” part. God continued to send me confusing signals, and most of the men in my life at that time threw markers at me and gesticulated in German. I did speak German (eventually), but I didn’t speak “Man.” I once showed up to class during the World Cup. Sitting in the empty classroom, I waited out the prescribed 15 minutes for a teacher, classmate, or anyone to show up. After I convinced myself that a selective rapture of German music students (maybe just the good ones) had occurred, I saw a blur of black, red, and gold rush by the window as students in fan gear paraded across campus.

So, in my childhood wisdom, I skipped the phenomenon of American middle school and entered right into the meat of life: doubt, video games, and capitalism. The college thing didn’t really pan out, but the summer camp job remained steady.

Do you think Jesus ever mourned the fact that he outgrew his parents? I outgrew their health insurance at age 26. Which seems like a good time in life to figure yourself out. New address, new credit card number, new health insurance. All the trappings of a true adult. But I’ll tell you the first time you drive to the emergency room, all you can think about is your parents. You revert to a child, asking: where do I park? Do I sit here? Can you help me? Maybe unconsciously I remembered the very first time my birthday had been printed on a hospital bracelet. The very first occurrence of the day that would become the rest of my life. My social science teacher was right: hospitals are institutions of birth and death. We shut all that stuff in one place, but when you return there too early, in the in-between time, all the liminal sounds and devices seem wrong. And when something seems wrong, you look for your parents.

This isn’t a thought process I came up with at the hospital, but some deep reminiscence of my socialized brain: optimistically projecting meaning onto every encounter. In the moment, I actually mused on the stupidity of middle schoolers.

Somewhere in between “parent” and “eldritch creature” is the camp counselor. So, let me wrap this ramble back to the original story I wanted to get across to you: which is that middle schoolers should be wrapped in bubble wrap, then stored, counted, and supervised like laboratory samples. Because the safety lecture given before the kids began their community service cleanup project was not enough, and I had a bloody, rusty nail in my pocket to prove it.

I texted my boss that unfortunately, I needed to use my phone for reasons related to the emergency, and could not call the kiddo’s parents to explain the situation. Let’s be honest: I don’t have the ability to explain any situation. My excuse was not a lie: my phone was in use, by a grumpy middle school boy with his bandaged foot propped on a chair playing “Geometry Dash.” He tilted the screen and handed it behind his head to me.

“Can you beat this level?”

            Recently I’ve adopted a new sleep schedule. I fall asleep around 10:00 PM, contained under a weighted blanket and sleep mask, my Night Phone spitting rain noises through its damaged speaker. When I wake up, usually around 2:00 AM (my body has been surprisingly consistent about this), I drift downstairs to check emails on my Day Phone and make a cup of tea. I have a peaceful hour of productivity before going back to sleep until noon.

 Last night, I decided to take my tea outside and observe the stars. By stars, I mean the twinkling movement of lights and traffic that centralize into constellations on the city outskirts.

            It’s 2:09 AM. But the man who lives below me is out on his balcony, staring, staring, like he’s going to predict the future from traffic patterns. I wonder what he’s looking at before I remember he can’t see. I apologize, internally, because this is one of those apologies that would make things worse if spoken. “Sorry sir, I forgot you were blind.”

            It’s dark and I can’t make out the railing in front of me, but he can, hand reaching forward for a second before he finds the chipped metal bar. I walk forward too, feeling until I find the railing. That stuff is solid, man. This is what we should make the containment cells for middle school summer campers out of. Although I’d be worried about their concussive properties. I can hear it now: the clang of someone’s head against the metal barrier, and the offended yelp. Then the stuttered wail for Mom or Dad.

[agenericplaceholdername]

This is the first time I've ever posted something on Tumblr so I'm probably doing it wrong but whatever -- I wanted to get my thoughts somewhere. I'm also a huge fan of your content.

I think first and foremost, I love Dragons Rising because I love Ninjago, and I think that Dragons Rising maintains most of the things I love about Ninjago while telling a grander story that does better at character-based tension than much of the original series.

Why do I love Ninjago? A big part of it has to be nostalgia -- I doubt that I'd pick up the show now having not watched it as a kid. But the lore -- as contradictory as it often is -- has remained from "reboot" to redesign to new episode lengths to new series, so there's one long running story. I feel like I know the characters, with consistently humorous and heartfelt protagonists, antagonists who straddle the line (and sometimes fall off it) between intimidating and funny, and some pretty good side characters. The music is great (probably the most underrated part of the show), the switch to Wildbrain has massively improved the fight scenes, and there's something just relaxing about watching an episode from almost any season.

Dragons Rising maintains all of this. The brand name keeps the nostalgia, the lore is as intact as any Ninjago season has left it, the characters, both old and returning, are engaging and consistently written, and the music and fights are phenomenal.

I say this as someone who thought they were done with Ninjago post-Crystalized, not just because the season wasn't great, but because I had more than aged out of the target demographic and it was supposed to be an ending not just to the 11 minute episode era but to the show as a whole. It seemed like a solid ending point. I was aware that more content was being made and watched the DR Season 1 trailer and thought, "So, most of the Ninja are gone, we've got new protagonists, and we're recycling the dragon hunter plot from Hunted. Hopefully this will be good, but it's not for me."

Then one day in August, I watched Season 1 Part 1 and really enjoyed it. I hadn't quite realized how stale Ninjago had become up until that point -- how it had decided to stop "doing things" with its characters.

My go to example here is Master of the Mountain, which I really enjoy as a season. But... what actually happens in it? How are our characters challenged by the situation they end up in and how do they grow from it? Nya, Zane, and Kai are all written entirely consistently with their previous portrayals, and are fun characters, but they don't change in any way, and Nya and Kai's experiences as leaders is tangential to the events of the season. Lloyd has a running thing about doubting Vania but this is just played for laughs. Jay is completely unaware of Nya's feelings. Wu seemingly has an arc about never quitting, which is actually well founded in the events of S11 and S12. His arc is resolved by a 3 sentence conversation with Vania. Vania should have a unique connection with this season's villain, but her moment of taking control of the Shintaran army happens off screen and then she doesn't interact with Vangelis until he's defeated. And what do we learn about Cole? How does he change? Well, we learn that he promised his mother to stand up to bullies. You know, the thing he's been doing for the whole series? It would be interesting if the season was about living up to his mother's legacy, and it pays lip service to this idea, but doesn't actually do a story about this. Plundar has the best character arc this season! Why? Probably because the main characters were designed for a 2 season story that ended in 2012. And as for the lore inconsistencies that Dragons Rising has (which are mostly light retcons that improve the story, like with the Cloud Kingdom), Lloyd calls the newly-coronated Queen Vania, "Princess" Vania to her face in the same episode she becomes queen. I don't say this to bash Master of the Mountain, but this is the bar that seasons of Dragons Rising have to pass for me to consider them among some of Ninjago's best.

And it does pass them. Lloyd, Arin, and Sora all have major character arcs and develop in ways that Ninjago hadn't done with a major character since the Oni Trilogy for Lloyd. Arin goes from a Ninja fanboy to more and more disillusioned with the Ninja, seeing them as trying to replace and keep him from his "real family." His character affirms the lesson Ninjago has been trying to say since S11: that heroes don't need supernatural powers to be successful, but also shows how being surrounded by people who seem more talented than you can undermine your self-confidence. Sora learns to value herself and realizes that the family she chooses is more important than the one she was born into, when said family has been indoctrinated by an authoritarian society that shunned her, only to collapse once she inspired its people to rise up. She goes from being a skeptic and cynic to seeing potential in anyone, as shown in a moment in S2, E19 (not saying anything further bc of spoilers). Lloyd steps up to become a teacher despite his own doubts, which are amplified in S2P1 by his unwanted visions. I don't think this part is handled perfectly, but like a lot of things in Ninjago, it messily resolves itself to a mostly satisfying conclusion.

Various supporting characters, whether they are major (Wyldfyre) or minor (Euphrasia, Percival, Arrakore, Geo, Egalt, Bonzle), also all have important character development and/or influence the main characters' development. Meanwhile, Kai and Nya both assist in character development in S1 (of Wyldfyre and Sora respectively) and are just cool in S2. I love the "Countershot" scene in particular. Although... maybe it would have been better if they flashed back to the museum fight in S7 ("I could really use a hand, BROTHER!" "I'm here for you, SISTER!") /j.

I think just generally I appreciate that the characters feel more like people, which I think you mentioned in a previous post. Are there missed opportunities? Over-exposition-y dialogue? Absolutely. But while "it's a kids show" isn't an excuse for poor writing, I think that not only does the good, overall stuff outweigh some of the bad individual decisions, but my comparison here is not to every other show in existence (there are plenty of other shows better than Ninjago), but to Ninjago's other seasons, since I do like those.

I also like that the story is planned out over multiple seasons, although I recognize that that's a matter of personal taste. Obviously this does mean that my enjoyment of the series is partly dependent on if Dragons Rising sticks the landing (Crystalized part 2 being the go-to example of an entry designed to wrap things up that left most people dissatisfied, if not angry), but what we've seen so far gives me hope. Arin's character changes in S2 are an expansion of what he says to Lloyd in the ending of S1, E10, Sora's character arc in S1 meaningfully impacts her personality in S2, etc. The bigger impact of the longer running story is that there are major story threads that aren't wrapped up in a season, from major things like Ras' plan and his master to more minor things like who put the tooth in the crab from S1, E13. Can it be unsatisfying that not everything is resolved, despite the longer season runtimes? Sure, but on the other hand, it also means that there's a sense of mystery and it keeps me as a viewer interested. I'm confident based on the writers' statements that after at most 4-7 years of story, this chapter of Ninjago's story will end, as opposed to infinite cliffhangers*.

Another thing I like about Dragons Rising is that it tries to grapple with the consequences of what it does with its characters. I hate to keep bringing up older seasons only to criticize them, but I'm only doing it because any evidence of Dragons Rising doing something better than a show I already like is evidence of why I like it. In both Possession and the Ice Chapter, something incredibly traumatic happens to one of its main characters, and then is basically forgotten. How did Lloyd feel about having his autonomy stripped from him by a vengeful ghost and used as a weapon against his friends? How did Zane readjust to life in Ninjago after ruling as a brutal dictator for decades? I don't know, but when things happen to characters in Dragons Rising, the characters actually react and are affected by them (eg. Sora's and Arin's backstories, Arin seeing his parents during the Mergequake storm, Lloyd's visions). That's not to say Ninjago never did this -- Possession also includes a nice story for Cole after he becomes a ghost, and Zane had a story in ToE about coming to terms with his death and new identity -- but by treating its characters like people, Dragons Rising adds a certain emotional depth that makes it seem more mature, even if it's not anything profound or too ridiculously angsty.

After Dragons Rising reignited my love of Ninjago, I rewatched the whole series over the past year, and I realized that as much as I enjoyed it, a lot of it wasn't great! There's a lot of messy writing and just strange decisions even in some of the best seasons (please Hunted I love you but did you need the Dareth pee jokes???) But overall, the core of the series, from the Pilots to today, is solid. For whatever reason a group of color-coded ninja captured my childhood and still remain there today. I could elaborate on about the aspects of Ninjago that I like that are present in both Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu (2011-2022, subtitle status questionable) and Ninjago: Dragons Rising (2023-present), but that's honestly most of both shows. There are main characters I like in both, side characters I like in both, villains I like in both, etc, even if they're different characters -- the things I like about them are similar/the same. I think Dragons Rising addresses a lot of the flaws that had become more noticeable the longer the show went on by shaking up the world and adding new protagonists, while maintaining the improvements we had also seen in recent years. Your milage may vary on my comments.

*https://youtu.be/huA9expVEg4?t=2882

Okay, everyone get in the comments and let me know why you love dragons rising so that maybe I can reverse engineer why I don't-

[thejacksmit]

First Take: Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny - an 80 year old, making a big action adventure film, yes, really

SYNOPSIS: Archaeologist Indiana Jones races against time to retrieve a legendary artifact that can change the course of history. 

It’s been 14 years since Kingdom of the Crystal Skull released, and since then a lot has happened to get a brand new Indiana Jones in cinemas - Lucasfilm was bought out, Steven Spielberg stepped away to focus on more personal projects, franchise creator George Lucas retired in 2012, and of course, Harrison Ford continues to get older. But in their infinite wisdom they all thought there was one more adventure to be had, and in terms of a pure big screen spectacle it does the job- well, most of the time..

Taking over from Spielberg in Disney’s first Indy adventure is James Mangold, who’s becoming a bit of an expert in ending beloved franchises in emotional ways, and he does a good job taking a very well worn directors’ chair - it’s the longest in the franchise at 2 hours 34 minutes, but it doesn’t feel as long as it does once the pacing hits its stride, and this is where Mangold’s work on the script alongside David Koepp, and the Butterworths (Jez and John Henry) comes in, hitting all of the nostalgia points and satisfying the fans, and making new moments that are more suited to a current day multiplex kind of audience. Obviously this hasn’t gone down well with everyone, but if screen 3 was anything to go by, that audience loved it. Behind the camera is Phedon Papamichael, who does a hell of a job on this film, and on scoring duties, well, would it be Indy without John Williams? Retirement didn’t last long.

On to the cast, and at 80 years old, Harrison Ford - while not doing as many of his own stunts these days - still knows how to play that role like nothing has ever changed. Joining him for what seems to be his last one as Indy is Phoebe Waller-Bridge (who obviously had the privilege of doing some uncredited polishes to her lines in the film), Toby Jones and Antonio Banderas, with Mads Mikkelsen, Boyd Holbrook and Olivier Richters (who calls himself ‘the Dutch giant’) rounding out this film. It’s a decent amount of starpower, but at times, the script does feel like one big nostalgia grab, and of course without spoiling too much, we do get a definitive ending with this film unlike Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, something producer Kathleen Kennedy said she wanted to do once the Lucasfilm/Disney deal closed.

THE VERDICT

While fans of the series will rightly say that the original films remain the strongest, Dial of Destiny understands its assignment: introduce the character to a new generation and get them to watch the older films on a certain streaming service which I doubt anyone knows the name of - wait, it’s Disney+. Had it opened later on in the year it would’ve had a better box office (it’s currently bombing hard), but with Mission Impossible looming, other family films currently playing, and other factors, this feels like the perfect time and place to wrap it all up.

RATING: 3/5

[iron--spider]

My thoughts and feelings on NWH.

I did not like it.

I don’t even know how to begin to discuss this film. I went into it desperate to love it because my love for Tom is at an all time high. I didn’t spoil myself like I usually do because I wanted the ultimate experience, I wanted to be able to enjoy it exactly as intended. What I didn’t know is that we would lose MCU Peter Parker in this movie. I didn’t know that the writers and producers would give in to the dude bros in their basements and force him into the mold of the previous iterations. I didn’t know I’d be coming out of this film mourning MCU Peter.

First and foremost, the film feels like a monumental disservice to the MCU’s Spider-Man. My Spider-Man. As soon as the clown car with Those Two came rolling up, he felt like a supporting player in his own film, his character altered and shoved aside to accommodate fan service and nostalgia. The response to Tom Holland’s Spider-Man has been immense, as have the wonderful connections he has made to other heroes in his universe. So I really don’t understand why this movie set out to handwave the allegations against him, focus on the redemptions and memories of characters from other films not previously connected to this trilogy, and ultimately cut Peter off from all the people who know him in our universe entirely. Not only did they remove his only remaining guardian, they had to hand feed us the “responsibility” line, proving that they believe audiences cannot understand subtlety or imagine scenes that aren’t playing out in front of them. We know this Peter lost Uncle Ben, we are able to read between the lines without seeing the same tired storyline rehashed once more, so why did we need this unnecessary, unearned death of a character who would have done well to be MORE fleshed out, instead of killed off? And of course they are just once again brushing off all the real world implications of May’s death, giving her a few tears and a gravestone and moving on. Why did we push so hard for Tom Holland to remain in the MCU and keep his Avenger connections if he was only going to be severed from all of them a few mere movies later? Why did we develop a beautiful friendship with Ned and a loving relationship with MJ just to throw all that out? How does it make sense thst Happy knows May “through Spider-Man” but doesn’t know Peter? Wouldn’t Peter’s records be completely gone because EVERYBODY forgot him, therefore removing his social security number and his ability to rent an apartment or get a GED?

Tom Holland is a tremendous emotional actor and he gives a beautiful, nuanced performance in this movie, but letting these old spider-men come in and infringe on his film for as long as they did felt like a deep disrespect. It is his time, not theirs, and they took too many of his moments away from him. He should have been the one to catch his own girlfriend. It became about redemption and resolution for them, and none for the main character who was finishing up his trilogy. There were a few parts with the three of them that were nice, but instead of focusing on the trio aspect, there were far too many scenes with the two old spider-men alone, with our current star somewhere out of the shot. When the rumors started about these two being in this movie, I was worried their fan servicey appearance would overshadow from what this film should have been about and who it should have focused on. And from the moment they appeared, everything felt off. I can’t put my finger on it, but I’m sure the fact that my theater cheered for their every appearance and completely ignored Tom added to that feeling. This was supposed to be his movie and it was stolen from him. The only reason previous detractors are lauding him at all is because he now, at the end of this film, more closely resembles Andrew and Tobey in the arc they’ve forced him into.

May’s death, the far far-too-long inclusion of the previous spider-men, and the ending’s terrible decision were all offensive on a storytelling level, and offensive to the Spider-Man that I love, the Spider-Man that I feel is the definitive Spider-Man. Tom Holland and his Peter Parker deserved better. Like I said, as someone who loves MCU Spider-Man and someone who adores Tom Holland, I wanted to love this movie. None of the problems were his fault at all. He did everything he could have. I’m so proud of him and everything he’s done, but this film was all over the place, full of horrible decisions and far too reliant on nostalgia to realize what it had in the first place. Tom has recently been speaking as if he’s ready to leave these films and this character behind, and after seeing No Way Home, I hope he does just that. They do not deserve him.

I’m going to keep writing, of course. If I can continue after Endgame I can continue after this. I’m sure there are things I liked about the film, Tom and Zendaya and Jacob being among them (and Matt’s five second inclusion) but it’s hard to see beyond how they completely and utterly torpedoed what could very well be Tom’s last outing as Spider-Man. I went in expecting a celebration of everything he’s achieved and instead saw Spider-Man as a concept. Not MCU Spider-Man. Not the Spider-Man that made these cameos possible in the first place. I’m disgusted and horrified and I don’t want to feel that way, but I do. Like I said, Tom just deserved so much better.

Tony Stark is dead. And now, MCU Peter is too.

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E127 (March 2, 2021)

Tonight’s guests are, of course, Ashley Johnson and Marisha Ray!

Marisha, on her thought process behind the date: “It was a fascinating study on designing something with another player in trying to navigating how to do that in a way that makes sense and wouldn’t be too metagamey or overly scripted or anything like that. I had a bunch of ideas thought out, then I just typed it out and sent it over to him, and then he interpreted it as such.” Liam had ideas, but Marisha wanted him to keep the details a surprise. The theme of “let’s start over” was the leading motif for the design. Three acts: pre-game cocktails at the Nestled Nook, picnic in a field of Xhorhasian wildflowers, and then close it with after-dinner drinks and hot tub at the Steam’s Respite. And the very last thing was “and all the cats were dogs”. Brian: “What was his response to that?” Marisha: “He texted me and was like, ‘Are you serious or is this dog thing a joke?’”

Ashley is asked what it was like to know it was coming but not know the specifics. “For both of us, I don’t think we thought it was going to be right then. I think because it’s been so long in the relationship between Beau and Yasha and it felt like such a natural progression for the two of them, and they’re both awkward together. I think there was something to just being thrown into it.” She spent time thinking about what things Yasha would talk to Beau about on a date. “We got to maybe one of them. It was just so fun! Exploring romance in D&D can be super weird, especially when you’re streaming. But it felt like that’s where our characters were going. There was that excitement of trying something that is out of my comfort zone, and I think so much of Marisha was part of that, as being the initiator as Beau, where I was like, okay, this is where it’s going it. Let’s do it, let’s see what happens!” She mentions how “fun and freeing” it is to trust your improv partner in something like this.

Marisha: “I just wanted Beau to be a fuckboi!” But she highlights that it’s hard to deny the deeper connections that come up in D&D scenarios. “They’ve been with each other through so much that it’s difficult to deny when those bonds start to happen.” She texted Liam in a panic before the game. “What do I wear? And he said, ‘In the game or in real life?’ Both!”

Marisha was expecting a Sam curveball at some point. “My/Beau’s reaction of ‘I love you!’ was pretty accurate. She does care! She’s not just  a troll trying to ruin our shit.”

Marisha on Yasha liking dogs: “I clocked that shit when you bought a dog figurine.” She keeps notes about all the members of the party when they reveal things like that.

Ashley has started taking more detailed notes, partly to play catch-up for events she may have missed earlier. “Turns out, notes are very helpful and can help you in your RPing!”

Favorite parts? Marisha: “The fade-to-black moment at the very end, and I think it’s because Ashley’s eyes--maybe this is going to get weird--we had this moment where we were in the hot tub at the end, and I looked over and was like, ‘hey’, and you looked over and were like, ‘hey’, and I was just dead. I will never forget the look on Ashley’s face. There was just a pure moment.” Ashley: “That’s so funny, because I was going to talk about this one moment with Marisha. It’s just clicking into the scene and clicking into the moment.” Marisha talks about how the moments associated with the game have real, tangible emotional connections. Brian highlights that the emotional side of things is what you remember the most after the campaign is done.

Character thoughts on Kima? Marisha: “I was like, step on me! Please! Both of you! We’d be friends.” Ashley: “It’s also that nostalgia that feels so good at the table. These characters we know and love are still living and breathing and happy together and just kicking ass. For Yasha it was an amazing example of a relationship that works in this world, and something beautiful that these people who are different but are connecting. It was a lot of-- it was cool. I think Yasha’s a very big fan of Kima and Allura. When she gave over the sword, Travis texted me and was like, it’s the Holy Avenger. Looking it up and talking about it, it was like, holy mackerel, this sword is insane. But there’s going to have to be some conversations had to attune with the sword. But I like that Matt presented that challenge, that this isn’t necessarily in your class, but let’s do some RP and see what happens.”

Where’s Yasha at with the Stormlord right now? “I’m curious to explore that more, but knowing that the Stormlord was the first person to bring her back to her own will, of pulling her out of whatever was happening with Oban and the Laughing Hand for however long. It’s also weird to see the relationship that the clerics have, and I think Yasha’s still figuring out how to be her own person, but also... not serving somebody, but still trying to figure out that relationship with her god. But again, he saved her from a very, very dark place, and I think that’s something she values and holds on to.”

Cosplay of the Week: An amazing Essek! (Blushingvioletcosplay on Instagram)

How is Beau handling the Eyes? “All the theories! It’s hard for it to not feel like a ticking time bomb. I always have to try and separate my theories from Beau’s theories. That’s acting and shit. I, Marisha, am very interested if I can somehow utilize this to our advantage. Beau, also interested but simultaneously terrified that it might be a bad idea and I might just get further initiated. When it comes to Matt, you know there’s always something more lurking underneath all of this. As players it’s kind of our job to navigate that.”

How about Yasha? “I think it’s one of the things that didn’t really come up in the date, which is funny, because it’s something I was thinking about. Me as a player, that’s something I’m extremely stressed about. We don’t know what’s going to happen. We kind of got into it, but I think the fact that Lucien was listening, and the Eyes, I think it made me as a player as Yasha very nervous about interacting with Beau, because I don’t know what they’re picking up on. There’s so much we don’t know, and Lucien is so confusing, and the Eyes, and with Matt... we don’t know! It’s a point of extreme concern for Yasha, especially someone that she has feelings for and cares about, it’s an extra level of I don’t know what this means and I can’t lose this person, but I need to protect at all costs.”

What was it like for Beau to discover that Dairon and the Soul not only listened but took action? “That moment was so deeply powerful. Honestly, I was just as taken aback as Beau was. I never in both mine or Beau’s thought process did I think Matt would take action in that way, or that would ever be handled. And I think that’s what makes it so emotional. You condition yourself to think these things just happen, so much so that they permeate your D&D game. So rarely do abusers get held accountable for their actions. What was powerful about it was that he was, and other people cared. That alone was so emotionally impactful, and I was completely thrown by it. I feel like I had to walk away from that situation kind of unpacking those things. What does that say, what does that mean? Same thing for Beau, where the cycle of abuse has happened repeatedly to her with no repercussions to anyone who’s causing it. It’s why she’s always had a weird tenuous relationship with the Soul. It throws you into these layers of reconciliation and thought. I didn’t think this was going to be addressed. What does that say about society? So many different layers to peel back. It all speaks to so many real-life experiences that happen every damn day to so many people. There’s not many examples in media of abusers getting handled, and especially not in a way that’s not some sort of device to motivate somebody.” She highlights how rare it is that the abuser was handled without pulling the victim into the mess. I’m definitely not doing what she’s saying justice with my speed-typing.

How is Yasha feeling about solidifying her identity as a protector? “Putting together this character and starting to play as her, there was a part of me that wanted-- when I work on characters, you go through the list of questions you have as an actor, what’s your motivation and all that stuff. But I very much wanted to see if I could have a character that doesn’t necessarily know what their purpose is, because I feel like a lot of people feel that way. I think when we see movies or TV shows, there’s always a character who says, I know what my purpose is. I wanted to explore what it meant to not know what that is. I left that open with Yasha, and I didn’t want to set that for her, because I thought that was an interesting thing. I still like that idea, but in the conversation with Beau and knowing the date was coming up, there were a lot of internal conversations I was having of how is Yasha feeling in this moment. At the end of the day, I feel that’s a very solid purpose for Yasha in this moment, of all I can really provide is protection - and of course she can provide more than that. But now I’m just, yeah, I think protection for her is the best way she knows how to describe her purpose.” Brian: “And once we arrive there, the goal is to find a greater purpose, to be of service.” Ashley has tied in Yasha’s protectiveness with her grappling with loss.

Fan art of the week: A second amazing Essek! (by Saturday_sky)

Thoughts on the amulets: set-up or bad luck? Ashley: “I thought they were a set-up!” Marisha: “I think [Astrid’s] an opportunist. But I think it’d be much more convenient if anyone other than her killed Trent. To what end, I don’t know.” Ashley: “Me, personally, how I interpreted her crying in that alleyway, I felt like she was crying because of a betrayal. But I don’t know! I think she definitely cares for Caleb.” Marisha: “I also got betrayal tears. That felt like guilt-crying to me.” Brian: “I don’t like any of this.”

What prompted Beau going full assassin? “If they were to get in and out and I could have jumped over that tower without killing that guy, I would have.” She didn’t have a lot of options as a monk and not a rogue assassin, but needed a quick and quiet way to get him out of the way. “I went through so many ideas in my head. I thought of an idea to dump all of the ball bearings under him, then light fireworks” to try to get him to fall off the edge.

Is Yasha’s hope for Molly still alive? “Yes. I think that because Yasha has been on the other end of doing terrible things under someone else’s influence, she has a lot of forgiveness for people. At this point, of course, it’s hope that he’ll come back or have some type of recognition of his life as Molly. There’s a lot of questions. I don’t think she’ll ever give up on him.” The only moment of hesitation was when Lucien was cool with Gelidon leaving with Beau.

How are they feeling about their odds? Ashley: “I feel really great about the ideas that the group has to get out of tricky situations. This one I’m nervous about.” Marisha: “I agree. We have our little side player thread, minus Matt, and I don’t see how we’re getting out of this without some sort of compromise that’s not necessarily in our favor. I think we’re going to get out of it, but I don’t think we’re going to get out of it completely.”

Ashley didn’t tell Brian about the date after the episode ended, but wound up blurting it out right before he was about to watch the episode for Talks.

[tersanctusordo]

To all this, Sunday merely chuckles amusingly.

"Time does fly when one is firmly rooted in their work and routine, doesn't it?" He can still remember those halcyon days of when he was but a mere boy himself--his sister and Mr. Wood, playing in the garden of their childhood home. Before he was welcomed into the fold of the Oak Family and that of the Path of Order, before he and his sister were situated into the Dreamscape itself. The shadow of the Stelleron disaster far behind them, the future a vast sea of stars filled with endless possibility.

...how time flies, indeed. How things change.

"Well, I look forward to your continued service to the hotel and the Family. There is no greater service than unto others at the expense of one's own time and patience--" Ha. "--and I am sure you will find many more opportunities to do so."

As he takes another sip of tea, his thoughts wander still. It's funny, how these memories of bygone days are surfacing now. Is that something to do with Misha himself, or is it simply nostalgia? "Clockie Studios Theme Park, you mean? ...I believe my sister and I have visited the attractions once or twice, but that was years ago..."

...Maybe, if Robin was willing...if she was willing to forgive him, if they could reach a compromise, or even...

"...I suppose it would be nice to see how its' changed." He decides out loud, setting his cup aside. "I will ask her if she wants to take another stroll through the theme park the next time I see her. Thank you for your suggestion, Misha. I assume this means you are a fan of Clockie and his adventures?" Though, really...if you were from Penacony, chances are you had watched Clockie's show growing up.

WC: 303 @seefare

"I'm sorry. I'll… try not to be nervous."

He's beginning to wonder if he's in some serious trouble.

Gloved fingers run through hair. Misha's teacup remains untouched, his focus instead directed towards all sorts of possibilities. Sunday speaks like… when Grandpa had asked him if he had been drinking SoulGlad, then promptly went on to point out his cavities. Yes, he feels he's been caught. Like a dancing billboard in headlights. But if he is a guilty man, then Misha doesn't know where he went wrong.

He takes a deep breath. Being nervous would make him look guilty. He should just answer Sunday's questions as best he can and hope to prove his innocence through testimony…

"I do enjoy the work I do at the Reverie… It's been fun meeting new people but… um… I don't actually remember when I began working here."

Clockie's voice whispers angrily in his ear: YOU FUMBLED IT!!!

Misha's heart drops, and he races to clarify: "U-uh! Please don't get the wrong idea! I just haven't been keeping track of the time. But if I were to guess… maybe a few months?"

If he could use one of those really foul sailor swears, he would. He is not projecting a very good image—even if what he was saying were true. Because, honestly, he really couldn't remember the exact start of his employment. It's strange. The way time has been moving is strange. But would Sunday believe that? Misha isn't so sure.

He shifts in his seat. The memory foam cushion adjusts to his weight. He finally takes notice of his teacup and lifts it to his lips. Misha swallows a whole mouthful of it to try and ease his nerves. It only sends more cracks through his composure—he'd forgotten to sweeten it, and the bitter taste sends jolts through his spine.

Misha tries not to whimper.

"I'm really glad you're, uh, enjoying your stay here at the Reverie, Mr. Sunday, if… oops—" as Misha sets his cup down, some liquid spills over the rim. It leaves a gross wet mark on the coffee table. He winces, but forces himself to continue, "A-anyway, if you're asking for recommendations… we usually tell Dreamchasers to check out the Golden Hour, but since you're a local… I'd recommend…......... the... theme park?"

Clockie's voice rings in his ear once more: this time, it only clicks its tongue in disapproval.

wc: 400

[chibimyumi]

Kuromyu 2021 - First Review

So, yesterday 05-03-2021 was the First Day Performance of Kuromyu 2021, “The Secret of the Boarding School”. It is no secret that I am no fan of the Boarding School Arc, but even so I was very, very curious to see this arc being translated to a stage media.

This review shall not be without spoilers. Not just the story itself, because I think by now most people know how the story unfolds. I mean the execution of the stage play itself.

I shall not lie and admit that my review WILL contain my opinions, meaning it is by no means objective and might influence your opinions. For people who wish to experience the production entirely objectively for themselves, I recommend NOT clicking “keep reading” to reveal the spoiler section.

For now, I shall give my spoiler-free rating per category.

Faithful to canon: ⭐⭐⭐⭐★

Script:       ⭐⭐ ★★★

Acting:      ⭐ ★★★★

Singing:    ⭐ ⭐★★★

Music:       ⭐⭐⭐★★

Dancing:   ⭐⭐ ★★★

Stage & Costume:  ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Hereunder I shall give the spoiler-section first preceded by “First Impression”, and then followed by the categories listed here above.

First Impression

The stream started, and seeing the Kuromyu logo in present day again after three years really was very exciting. Since 2010 on as always, Kuromyu opened with the contract scene, and I was positively surprised to see the stage set being quite elaborate! This set was the largest and most elaborate one so far without TOHO’s help.

After the contract scene the prologue gave a very quick recap of the Jack the Ripper, Circus, and the Campania Arc. I am not sure whether it was necessary to show the Jack the Ripper and Circus Arc as they provide no information needed to understand Weston Arc. But I think it was mainly inserted to speak to the nostalgia in Kuromyu fans, and as a Kuromyu fan myself, I have to say it did work. It did not take much time, I think maybe 1 minute per arc, so it was fine.

The recap of the Campania Arc was important as it served to equip the audience with the information that there’s a reaper who creates zombies. Undertaker was shown as the main antagonist of the Campania Arc and responsible for the bizarre dolls.

There was a short brawl between Undertaker and Sebastian, which is in fact a very good choice in my opinion to showcase the dynamic between these two supernatural powers...............except that only 10 minutes in, and the musical already MASSIVELY screwed up by portraying the fight as though Sebastian beat Undertaker. The ONLY reason Sebas is still alive is because Undertaker decided so. Normally I wouldn’t care that much about errors in a recap, but this time it serves as the exposition of Undertaker and Sebastian’s dynamic: It should have shown that Undertaker is an incredibly dangerous foe and that Sebas is scared shitless because of that. Especially because this ties in with how this arc was concluded.

“But okay, fine. Maybe the script has other plans, so I shall let it be,” I thought. Moving on. But it did “plant a seed” in me that this musical is either going to contradict itself, or that it is going to defy canon. That was the first impression.

The prologue transitions into the setup of the case quite smoothly, and I have to say it was skillful. You very quickly see Ciel change into the Weston uniform and the admission ceremony was swiftly started. Immediately you get introduced to Agares, the prefects and their fags, and the musical does a good job defining the atmosphere as: “something is off here”.

Faithful to canon: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ ★

The overall musical was really quite faithful to canon. Most plot points were as they were in the manga, and enough so that I would recommend anybody who doesn’t understand Japanese to first re-read the arc as homework. If you have the arc fresh in your memory, it is very easy to trace every action back to the canon.

There are some details that were omitted or changed, probably done so in consideration for the stage medium or run-time, and done reasonably so. Unlike the previous Kuromyus, 2021 adds very little new elements that were not there in the manga. No added extra depth, but also no unnecessary additions.

There were a few things that were very off-canon, namely the characters. But I think that falls under the “acting” header, rather than this header.

Script:       ⭐⭐ ★ ★ ★

The script was a real disappointment. You might wonder how faithfulness to canon can be 4/5, and yet the script only a 2/5 in my opinion. WELL, most dialogue was based on the text in the manga, but told as dry as possible. It was also as though the script writers didn’t trust its audience intelligent enough to understand things on their own, or even remember something that was said literally 5 minutes ago.

Exposition Ad Nauseam

There was a tremendous amount of exposition, exposition, exposition, ad nauseam. There was exposition about who Ciel is and what the Queen’s Watchdog is and what his job entails, and that is entirely fine. That’s necessary background information for spectators unfamiliar with Black Butler. However, there was also a lot of exposition that could easily have been left out, or concluded through context. For example, there were quite many expositions about the history and status of the Weston College. In my opinion, a competent script writer could have let the audience known that the Weston College is really important just by giving the information that the blood relative of the QUEEN attends the school, and by showing the Red House, since their entrance is based on social status.

In this post I wrote about my following concern:

Unlike tennis, cricket is a very foreign sport to most people. Cricket cannot be shown without explaining the rules. So if Kuromyu were to happen, these expositions that were dry in the manga to begin with, are going to be even dryer on stage. Does an actor narrate the rules? Do we want Sebastian to sing us the rules??? Or do we want the kids to sing us the rules themselves while they are batting the balls? 

And alas, true to my fear, Sebas indeed narrates the rules to us...  But even worse, he also explains cricket by using baseball analogy... This is an incredibly ineffective and time-wasting method, because:

it takes the audience out of the moment,

it assumes the audience knows enough about baseball to let it help understand cricket,

and it assumes the audience actually cares about the name of every single strike....

Repetition Ad Nauseam

Then there is the problem where many info-dumps sounded like: “LIKE I JUST SAIDDDDD, DON’T FORGET!!!”. The script for Sebas is the biggest offender. There were many moments Sebas was just saying the same thing twice. At times he repeated the same information, and there were some moments where he regurgitated already given information. (Sorry I’m just being nasty here, but that’s what it felt like (;;≽▽≼;;) )

Sebastian has this obsession with constantly proclaiming himself an omnipotent, one hell of a butler, which makes him capable of doing anything... and after a while it just gets a bit tedious. I have the feeling the scriptwriter really has the hots for him, and therefore can’t shut up about how powerful he is.

While Sebas is the biggest offender, he is by far not the only one. This musical is guilty of doing a lot of very unnatural lines that no person would ever say. Soma for example, seems incapable of saying anything without shouting that he is the Prince of India and Ciel’s BFF. First time, FINE. But the entire time? My god....

Characterisation

Then there is the characterisation of characters in the script. Of course in great part the characterisation is dependent on the actors too, but no matter how amazing an actor is, you do as the script demands.

As discussed above, Sebas is done dirtiest by the script. This script also makes him incredibly arrogant and a bit too happy to be in his master’s service. Similarly, Ciel is also written entirely dependent on Sebastian, and equally happy that Sebas is happy to serve. In the first song between Ciel and Sebastian, without any prompt Sebastian asks his master for his orders, as though that’s what Sebas is looking forward to all day. And the first thing Ciel says in response is: “can you take on this reaper [Undertaker] and the large number of moving corpses?” to which Sebas responds: “Leave everything to me, because I am the Phantomhive butler.” ........and then he proceeds to defeat Undertaker effortlessly.........!?!?!?!?!?! When fighting Undertaker, Sebas also says: “what a bother” as though it’s just a bit of an unpleasant chore rather than a life-threatening fight.  And just before Undertaker disappeared all the way at the finale of the arc, Sebas seriously says: “I really don’t get along with you”. SERIOUSLY, WHO WROTE THIS?!

Myu!Ciel is CLEARLY the master of this Sebastian as he seems to be on a permanent power trip. He “it’s an order”s Sebastian for the most trivial of things. At the beginning when Sebas was fighting intruders already, Ciel “it’s an order”s Sebas to take down the intruders.... HE’S ALREADY AT IT!!!

In chapter 70 where Sebas and Ciel simultaneously think of Soma, Ciel doesn’t give Sebas an official order. This shows the audience that there is a certain level of trust between master and servant that they’re on the same page AND that Sebas has come to a stage where he will actually do what’s necessary.

In the musical however, Ciel gives a full “Sebastian, it’s an order, get the procedures done to get him here, to the Weston College.”

This is also an example of how unnatural and repetitive the script is. Who would EVER say “get the procedures done to get him here, to the Weston College”???? Of course procedures need to happen first! And “here” alone would have sufficed, scriptwriters. We KNOW where “here” is! We didn’t forget since 5 seconds ago!

Lyrics

The lyrics are technically not the script, but they are ridden with the same problem as the script itself, so I shall take the liberty of discussing these under the same paragraph.

There is a LOT of repetition in the lyrics as well. The P4 especially sing “Weston” and “tradition” like the ENTIRE time. One song literally goes: “this is Weston, Weston, Weston, Weston, at Weston we uphold our traditions, traditions, traditions, traditions.” The other song is: “It’s cricket, it’s cricket, it’s cricket,” and another “I am Ciel’s BFF, BFF, BFF, Ciel, lord Ciel, lord Ciel, lord Ciel’s BFF.”...... *shudders* ((ﾟﾟ((Д))ﾟﾟ)) AAAAHHHH!!!!

Acting:      ⭐ ★ ★ ★ ★

The acting was by far the most abominable in the musical safe for two gems: Chesslock and Derek. There are too many characters to discuss, so I shall keep it to the main/noteworthy ones.

The gems

Chesslock has this tremendous energy and something very wild about him, and his jumps are so incredibly precise it’s amazing! Derek has but a very small role, but the moment he showed up as the zombie you already immediately saw there was something “off” about him. It was very subtle, but still clearly unhinged. When he was acting living-Derek, you also clearly saw what type of prick he was. Amazing! These two were the brightest stars of the show.

The....... not gems

The most unwatchable ones were Soma and Harcourt. Soma doesn’t have a big role, but he bothered me so much he is ironically the most memorable one. It’s like Okada saw “loud and obnoxious (in a good way)” in the manga, turned it up to 12, and gave the worst portrayal possible. As said above, the script making him repeat “Indian prince” and “BFF” the entire time doesn’t help, but blaming just the script would be letting Okada off too easily.

Harcourt...... gave me so much secondhand embarrassment I literally got a cramp looking at him. When the diarrhea happened he was screaming like a pig about to be raped and slaughtered... and I am NOT making a rape-joke here. I would never. He really did sound like he was unwillingly aroused and terrified at the same time.

Sebastian

Let’s start with the good things: Tateishi’s Sebas did have his presence and his movements were fairly neat. He was never just standing there. He is quite elegant, and not swaggering or pulling spasms on stage unlike a CERTAIN someoneeeeee. He could work a BIT on the coordination of his extremities, but that’s only when I’m nitpicking.

But otherwise.... he was a bit underwhelming to be honest. The main problem is not necessarily Tateishi’s acting-skill maybe, but his interpretation I think... but I can’t say his acting was amazing even at knife-point. The way he acts Sebas makes him look like a complete fanboy of Ciel... which is just not Sebas. He is incredibly eager and at times I could almost see a puppy tail wagging. Whenever he is getting an order from his master he is just beaming. And with Undertaker there was not a single hint that Sebas is scared of the only foe who managed to mortally wound him.

His interaction with Ciel was also very SebaCiel heavy. In the manga where Ciel challenges Sebas why he didn’t go after Undertaker, Sebas is clearly emphasising the importance of the contract, and half-threatening his master not to dare “it’s an order” him to go after Undertaker.

In the musical however, Sebas is all UWU, as though saying: “I couldn’t let the big baddy hurt you... uwu”. Without exaggerating, Sebas caresses Ciel’s face THREE times and then embraces him.

Ciel

Ciel was very unbearable to watch in my opinion. Not as bad as Soma and Harcourt, but otherwise an “honourable” third place after them. In the manga it was a bit cringey to begin with because he is supposed to fake being (*ÓωÒ*), but seeing a 20 year old man do that... and play it up to 11 was just jarring. Ciel is like “tehe” very often, but never actively skipping like a forest fairy.

This Ciel also has tremendous mood-swings! He is either UWU or actively a ice-cold diva... and at times he is also being UWU when he’s not around others???? There was also not a single moment where I could see him cooking up a plan. No hint of intelligence or cunningness to be found.

Unlike with Tateishi I can’t really come up with anything good to say about him.

Undertaker

Undertaker was the best among the main three (not that the bar is very high). He is making efforts to tease-threaten Sebas, which I think is a very nice added detail (it’s just that Sebas reacts to none of them... sad.) and even though his role is pathetically small (he doesn’t show up as the principal), he still managed to present himself in the spotlights.

P4

Greenhill had his energy, he was funny, and something really funnily militaristic about him. Though, I was missing nuance in his acting because at not a single point could you see Greenhill might have a trauma for killing people.

Redmond was Viscount of Druitt light and he had a very strong emphasis on the BL aspect with Maurice......which was just personally not my cup of tea. But I have to admit that aspect was played up too in the manga. So I guess he was faithful to canon.

Violet was quite charming and eccentric. He did play up the gothicness of the Violet house, which was actually kinda nice! He also had a deep friendship with Chesslock, which I really liked. When Violet didn’t do shit during the tournament Chesslock was really miffed about that, and challenged him. And then Violet showed Chesslock a portrait he drew of him, saying: “you just looked so cool I had to capture that.” That was amazing! He is a bit bitchier and sassier than in the manga, but I really don’t mind. 

Bluer.... William light. He was the least memorable of all of them.

Singing:    ⭐ ⭐ ★ ★ ★

Nobody really hurt my ears, but also nobody quite hit the notes... and the notes weren’t that hard.

Music:       ⭐⭐⭐ ★ ★

Eehhhhhhhhhhhh I’d say the songwriter played most songs a BIT too much on the safe side. Not a single song was memorable, but they didn’t offend me either. The main theme was fairly nice actually, but only when just the instrumentals played. I think it might have been the singing just being too chaotic for me to actually hear the music.

Dancing:   ⭐⭐ ★ ★ ★

Chesslock is an tremendously good dancer, his movements were precise and energetic. But otherwise.... nobody really popped out, but there was nobody who looked like a noodle on stage either.

The main problem is choreography; with some exceptions they were very underwhelming and messy. There were a lot of group dances, but often enough people were just a bit out of sync and messy.

Stage & Costume:  ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Stage Set

The stage set was VERY good. It was well made and mobile; they could be moved around and functioned as different props. Examples include the cellar in which Derek and his gang were committing crimes, and the boat of the parade even. The set also had this really magical aesthetic about it which communicated the glamour of the Weston College well.

Costumes

The costumes were well made. The logo on the uniforms for example were actually embroidered rather than those iron-on plastic things. The wigs were .... very messy after jumping around a bit and they looked very greasy. But that’s fine. They did their job and I realise I’m just spoiled. TOHO makes their wigs using real human hair, and that’d be an astronomical sum for any normal 2.5D company.

My ONLY problem is Ciel’s “lord costume”. This photoshoot photo underneath is doable, but trust me, on stage it is a nightmare. There are no clear photos of this costume on stage, and I think I understand why.

It was glittery velvet which just SCREAMS cheap Halloween costume, it was ill-fitted, almost like it was 2 sizes too large. The costume makers didn’t take stage-lighting into account, so the fabric and details glistened all over the place. Under the limelight the “golden” aiguillettes were PISS yellow. And the suddenly black sock suspenders protruding from his white boots were just...... distracting.

BUT, this was just one costume and he only wears it in the prologue and the finale of the show. Even though it’s God-awful, the rest were well made enough to compensate for this abomination.

Conclusion

So now finally the conclusion! The musical was..... fairly faithful to canon, but the execution leaves quite a lot to be desired. The interpretation/acting of the characters were the most disappointing one, while the stage/costumes were the most charming.

Do I recommend buying the stream/DVD/BD?

Stream: Yes.

I personally do recommend buying the stream as it’s only 3800 yen, especially if you like the Weston Arc itself, and/or are curious to see how they did it. Even though I myself really hate the Weston Arc in and of itself, I was very curious to see how it’d be translated to a stage medium. Despite my mostly negative opinion of the musical, I don’t regret buying the stream at all!

The best reason in my opinion to buy the stream though; it’s a very good and legal way to get a “preview” to see if you want to spend approximately 10000 yen on the proshot.

DVD/BD: Depends on you.

I myself have decided not to buy the DVD because I don’t think I’ll be rewatching it after the stream-archive period is over. The DVD/BD are the most expensive so far, and to me the final product is just not worth that amount of money.

But if you like the Weston Arc, or the performers, or you think you will be rewatching it and you are a collector, I think it is a very nice addition to your shelve.

[kitkat1003]

Who Are You Really?

Chapter 4: Rush Hour

Summary:

Huh.  Guess Spirit doesn’t have too much time to introspect.  That’s okay, though.  Introspection doesn’t lead to anything good, and Spirit much prefers action over thought when they start to think too far back.

They dig into their pocket, pulling out the proper token.

Ft. Almond, who belongs to @strange-lace

Spirit Masterpost

Spirit is nervous.

Macaque’s token is buzzing.  

They don’t know if they should be.  They’re nervous for clients, of course, and they’re polite to everyone they meet, but Macaque is...different.  They’ve known him longer, longer than most of their clients.

They’ve done so many favors for him, he can’t hurt them.  They know that.  They know they know that.

They still tremble a little as they reach into their pocket.

Are the favors not enough?  They have to be.  Spirit has been operating on them for as long as they can remember, likely longer than that.  Favors are dependable, favors make sense, they can tally them down and be assured, and know, and can quantify, and

And yet.

Macaque is like Red, but different.  Close, but not a friend.  Something else.  And Spirit shouldn’t be afraid.  They’ve done him favors, they’re safe.  They’ve done everything he asked, even when it wasn’t good.  Because they aren’t stupid, and they know what is and isn’t right.  They haven’t been right for a long time maybe ever, but they just want to be safe, and this is how they will be.

They know that.  This is how it has to be.

Because if it isn’t, then Spirit would have, and wouldn’t have, and

Spirit doesn’t like to think on the would haves, because they turn into should haves.  They should have this, they should have that—none of that is helpful.  Wanting more from the past doesn’t change the present.

Besides, they should have what they deserve, and

Spirit grabs the token and goes to where they are needed.

They’re not quite sure where they are, at first, but the cliffside they appear at is just a few miles from the town.  They can see the weather tower from where they are.  It’s the tallest building in the city, after all.

Macaque’s seeming lack of appearance would be worrying, but Spirit feels the itch that always happens in their eye, the big one, when Macaque is hiding in the dark.

“You test that a lot,” they say.  “I haven’t missed you yet.”

They turn around just as Macaque steps out of their shadow.  It’s kind of interesting, watching the flat object liquify into what seems like smoke, pulling from the rockface upon which Spirit’s shadow is cast.  From shadow to smoke to flesh and bone, the transition seamless.

“I’m your teacher, aren’t I?  Who else is going to test you?” He stretches his arms leaning back against the cliff face with his arms crossed over his chest.

Spirit supposes that makes sense.  Macaque is their teacher, in the sense that he’s really the only person who has bothered to teach Spirit anything, save for their mom.  But Mom isn’t a teacher, she’s Mom, so Macaque is their teacher.  It makes sense when you think about it.

“So,”  Macaque starts, a claw lazily tugging at Spirit’s sleeve to get their attention.  “Got any new information?  As a favor,” he adds the last part like he always does, and Spirit perks up like they always do.

A new favor is always so nice.

“Oh, well, the Demon Bull King was released,” they start.  “Red Son, Princess Iron Fan, and the Demon Bull King have congregated on the outskirts of Wán Qiãn Chéng, where Monkey King’s successor lives, and they battle him from time to time—”

“Monkey King has a successor?” Macaque all but shouts, loud enough that Spirit takes a step back.

They fidget, and hide their hands behind their back.

“Um, yes?” Spirit shrugs at Macaque’s incredulous look.  “He stopped the Demon Bull King when DBK first emerged, and has been protecting the city and, uh, the world since then.  He’s a little younger than me, age wise I think.

“I haven’t gotten a good look at him, but he’s friends with the youngest member of the Long family, so he might be aristocratic?  I don’t know,” They finish lamely, smiling a little.

Macaque grins.  It’s not a nice one, one of his scheming grins he gets when he wants something and is figuring out how to get it.  Spirit finds it familiar, considering Macaque always wants something from them, in one way or another.  Why he feels the need to scheme is beyond them, because Spirit does most anything if asked politely.

Then again, they were a bit obstinate when Macaque and them first met.  They made Macaque work for their favor, which is stupid.  They should’ve listened better back then, and Macaque would maybe like them more now.  

Most people don’t like them, though, so they suppose they should be used to it.

“Well then,” Macaque starts, rubbing his chin with his hand in thought.  “That is something.  Thanks kid.  I’ll use that.”

Spirit brightens at the praise.

“You’re welcome!” they beam.  “Um, anything else, sir?”

Macaque waves a hand.  “Nah.”

He turns towards the horizon, and then, for some reason, looks back almost...shy?  Spirit doesn’t really understand Macaque’s moods.  He can flip flop in terms of good or bad feelings very quickly, with no rhyme nor reason Spirit can discern in regards to why.

They jump, scrambling to catch an item as Macaque just...tosses them a bag of what they soon realize is coins.  A fair bit, if the weight is any indication.  The bag is purple, with a silver drawstring for the pouch.  They love purple and silver!  Macaque doesn’t do silver, save for the token he made for them; his cuffs are gold.

They glance up at him in confusion.

“Got tired of carrying that,” Macaque says, looking away from them.  “Figured you wouldn’t mind.  Buy yourself something with it, or whatever.”

He glances back at them again.  Spirit waves.

Macaque jumps off the cliff, and disappears.

Spirit heads back to town, after that, flitting through different shopping centers.  They don’t really have a lot of money regularly, but they also don’t spend a lot of money regularly, so they’re typically okay with spending money when they want or need to.  

The last thing that was a big purchase was getting their outfit fixed up for the third time.  They always wait until the fabric is so worn that they can’t stitch it together to do so, because they try to be frugal, but keeping their one and only outfit in fair condition is a necessity.

Macaque had mentioned the practice, saying that it was how he kept his outfit pristine after centuries.  Demons who could weave silk would restring the fabric line by line until it was simply the same but brand new, keeping the old string to be salvaged for whatever they could find within.  It wasn’t terribly expensive, but was still a purchase to be saved up for.

They don’t shift into human form, staying in the alleyways where they’re hardly seen and glancing out to the streets to see if there’s anything neat to find instead of walking in the open as a human.  Their eyes catch on a shop in the food district, a colorful storefront.

Bitter Sweets.

They can see the colorful creations set up in the window display.  Sweets, pastries.

Pastries.

They remember pastries.  It was such a rare thing to have.  Father was always in the Inn, always toward the front side they’d have to cross to get to the indoor kitchen.  They never wanted to cross Father.  They knew what would happen.

But it became a game.  Find whenever Father is gone, fixing up a room for a new customer, off to the town to find tourists, and sneak into the kitchen.  Throw together the ingredients, skipping across the floor to find each and every item needed for the recipe.  Mixing the ingredients into dough, kneading it and playing with it as Mother laughed, shaping it into its proper form, placing it in the stone oven and watching, waiting.

And then the dough would rise, and Spirit would lean in so close to watch that Mom would gently tug them back with a soft smile.  She would pull out the finished product, and Spirit would tug on her sleeve and say ‘Now?’, and she would smile and shake her head and make them wait until it cooled.

They would pull apart the warm (but not hot!) balls of sticky bread just to see the inside and finally stuff a piece into their mouth, giggling.  They’d take the lot and scamper off into safety with Mom, off into the back area where the infirmary was, where father couldn’t reach, the taste of sweetness on their tongue.

Spirit remembers pastries.

Entranced, they cross the street and enter the shop.

The inside is just as warm and bright as the outside, purples and pinks in pastel hues the general color scheme, with cool gray walls and white highlights to accent the colors. There’s a second display case by the front counter, a small table with two chairs off to the side, and a sweet smell of something baking that hits you both with nostalgia and hunger.

Spirit thinks about the last time they’ve eaten, and can’t quite remember.  Then again, that’s not too terrible, considering they don’t need to eat regularly.

“Hello, dear!” A voice calls from further inside.  

Spirit jumps at the sound, and stares as brown hair, purple skin, and red eyes greet them.  The demon is of the spider variety, a cap on her head and smudges of flour and icing on her apron and face.  

She has 3 eyes, just like them.  But they’re not supposed to have three eyes, so it’s different.  She’s allowed to like hers.

She wipes off her hands on her apron and steps up to the counter, a pleasant smile greeting them with her hands on her hips, ready to be of service. “What can I get for you today?”

Spirit stares for a moment.

Right.  They have to order something.

“I-uh-um,” They stammer, because they didn't have time to prepare for this, and just a glance at the display case proves that they don’t know what any of the pastries are, nor do they know what the names mean.

And what did they even expect?  That this random sweets shop would have the exact type of pastry they remembered making centuries ago with someone who has been gone so long it shouldn’t matter?  Those things are lost to time, lost to a world they left behind when there was nothing left but blood and memories.  The soft moments are held only by the crumbs left in their head; there’s nothing tangible here.  They’re so stupid.  So, so, so stupid.

“I can always help you pick something out, if you need help,” the shopkeep says, gentle as Spirit’s anxiety mounts.

No, they can’t ask for help, they’re not allowed to.  They can’t do this, they should just run, run and never come back because this is stupid, what are they even looking for-

“Mooncakes!” they nearly shout, clapping a hand over their mouth a moment later, face bright red as they look away.

Their tail curls around their leg tight enough to hurt.  The shopkeeper's eyes glance down at their leg, for a moment.

Spirit tries again, softer, and fidgets with their belt. “Um, if you, uh, if you have any mooncakes. I would...like those.”

They bite the inside of their cheek hard, just short of drawing blood.

Mooncakes are the only pastry they know by name.  The only pastry that Father allowed and wanted them to make, special for New Years.  That was when they could be in the kitchen for hours, baking batch after batch for customers in the Inn and to hand out to those in the infirmary.

Father never let them make anything outside of what people wanted, what could bring them in money.  He was always so worried about costs, irate by a single lost yuan.  They were only to do what could be profitable.  Providing mooncakes to the tourists brought them business.  That’s all he cared about.

Mom’s hospital business always made far more than the Inn ever did.  It’s a point of pride they carry, that their Mother’s sunny disposition, kind nature, and astute healing practices made her far more of a matriarch than their Father liked.  No one likes staying at an Inn with an owner who has such a cruel gaze, where the owner’s wife and child are too afraid to show their faces.

No one likes staying at an Inn where the owner doesn’t even have a face, but, well, Spirit wouldn’t know anything about that.  Why would they?  They’ve had claws for a long, long time, claws that are strong enough to rip and tear, but that has nothing to do with this.  Nothing happened.  

It’s none of your business.  Stop asking.

The shopkeep smiles.

“Ah, Mooncakes,” she says.  “It’s been a few months since the New Years celebration, but people are still coming around looking for them.  I make a batch every other day just in case.  Lucky for you, today’s the fresh batch!”

She turns away to the back, and Spirit lets out a sigh of relief.

“Thank you, Miss.”

“Call me Almond,” Almond calls from the back.

Spirit smiles.  “Thank you, Miss Almond.”

They only ask for a few, maybe three, but after they pay and leave they find nearly ten in the bag they’ve been given.  They idly chew on one, and almost stop in the street as the rush of nostalgia is accompanied by the taste of an expertly baked mooncake.

Watching the fireworks with Mom, bright lights up in the sky, sharing a mooncake with someone who cared, being carried home, half asleep under the stars and wanting to be nowhere else but where they were then, because the only place that was home was her arms because they were warm and safe and now they’re….

They blink back a couple tears and continue to chew.

They walk around aimlessly for a while, and eventually climb up a random building to sit on its ledge, letting the wind brush through their fur as they chew on their second mooncake.  

They wonder if Red would share one with them, if they asked.  They never stayed around long enough to share one with him on New Years.  They almost pull out their cell phone and text him, but…well.

Red hasn’t been close for a long time.  A rift was made because Spirit failed him, and they’ve always been a coward, too afraid to reach across the gap where something safe and special used to be.

They put their phone away.

A token buzzes in their pocket.

Huh.  Guess Spirit doesn’t have too much time to introspect.  That’s okay, though.  Introspection doesn’t lead to anything good, and Spirit much prefers action over thought when they start to think too far back.

They dig into their pocket, pulling out the proper token.

Oh.  It’s Spider Queen!  

Spirit hasn’t heard from her in a long while, but they’re always happy to help, so they let the token whisk them to where they need to be.

They can hear the rush of cars overhead when they appear in what they assume is the sewers.  Eerie green pods of something litter the walls and ground, and there’s a fair smattering of purple grey spider webs that lighten the dark stones.

“Spirit!”

They turn, and see the Spider Queen just a foot or so away, bathed in green light from a crater shaped pool that has a green, bubbling liquid boiling within.  She’s grinning wide at them, and Spirit will say that, for a demon lost for half a millennium (that’s most demons, to be fair.  They all disappeared when the Demon Bull King did.  After all, if Monkey King could do that to someone, what would he do to them, the weaker ones?), she looks just as much of a threat as she did the last time they saw her.

They bow.

“Hello, Miss Queen,” they greet, and, after glancing back at the bag gripped tightly in their hand, they say “Would you like a mooncake?”

Spider Queen stares, for a moment, and then laughs. “Ha!  My, aren’t you sweet?” 

The sound of Spider Queen’s mechanical spider legs sends a shiver down Spirit’s spine, but Spirit has never minded spiders all that much.  As long as bugs stay away from them, in the sense that they don’t crawl onto them, Spirit leaves them be.  Spider Queen is more than just a bug, they suppose, and therein lies the danger.

They stand up, reach into their bag, and pull out a mooncake.

“This is just the thing I needed!” Spider Queen plucks the mooncake from Spirit’s hand.  “You would not believe the day I just had!”

She takes a bite and Mmms at the taste while Spirit fidgets silently.

“You know, I had my favorite meal taken from me, but this might be the next best thing.”

Spider Queen is a lot like Macaque, in the sense that they both talk a lot and Spirit never knows what to say in reply.  There’s a lot of bragging, grandiose statements and plotting, and then eventually an expectation of a response.  Spirit is never good at responses, though.

Then again, Spider Queen likes to hear herself talk a little more than she cares for a response.  She’s easier to handle, in that sense.  Macaque is harder.

“Would you mind giving me a buff, sweetheart?  As a favor.  I’ve got a bigger task for you, and it requires a bigger explanation.  Why waste the time, right?” Spider Queen holds out one of her mechanical spider legs.

“Right,” Spirit replies with a small smile.  “Of course.”

Lucky that they keep the polish for this sort of stuff on hand.  They pull it out with a rag and start to polish the metal, working out old scratches and making them disappear until the surface glitters like new.

“This town has become a hotbed of activity since ol’ Demon Bull King jumped out from the netherworld,” She starts, talking as Spirit works.  “I thought I’d sneak in and see what the fuss was about, maybe grab a meal or two.  It has been ages since the Spider Queen has ruled, and now that we’re allowed to play, I’m planning on rebuilding my empire!  The monkey boy came in and stole my meal, but he left behind a little piece of himself that I can use.”

She chuckles darkly at that notion.

“Monkey Boy?” Spirit inquires, moving onto the second leg.

“Ugh,” Spider Queen growls under her breath.  “Monkey King’s newest pet project.  He comes tearing in, stealing my perfectly good dinner, that little—” She cuts herself off.  

Spirit hands her another mooncake. She makes a motion with it in the air, huffing indignantly before continuing.  “His hair is enough to give my venom the kick it needs, but I don’t have the minions I used to.  I need tech.”

Spirit starts on the fourth leg.  The position they have to be to buff is uncomfortable, a strain on their back, but to complain would be stupid, so they deal with the pain.

“That’s where you come in, dear,” Spider Queen turns to them.

Spirit glances up.

“You’re good at getting information, and you probably understand this modern stuff better than I do.” She waves a hand, almost dismissive.  “I need someone to build me some spider robots to transport the venom.   You don’t need to worry about the transport, I’ve got Huntsman for that, but they don’t know what to look for.”

Spirit worked on finishing the fourth leg while they respond. “Of course, Miss Queen.  Does it matter if they’re a demon or not?” They like to know specifics.

“Pfft—no self respecting demon knows anything about these new fangled devices!  We thrive off of power and magic, not tech like phones!  Those are things humans use as a crutch,” Spider Queen rolls her eyes, huffing.

“...Right,” Spirit replies, pointedly not getting offended on Red’s behalf.

It’s okay.  She doesn’t know she’s being rude. Spirit stands up, having finished with buffing Spider Queen’s armory.

“I’ll get on it right away, Miss Queen.  Anything else?”  Spirit finds that being polite does wonders, and Spider Queen likes it when she’s called a Queen.

“Nope!  I’m gonna relax.  Good luck!” Spider Queen’s legs sound with metal clicks as she leaves, waving as she does so.

Spirit waits until they’re sure Spider Queen is far enough away for them to relax.  They turn, walking toward where they can hear open rushing water.  The sewers are essentially a river, and all rivers lead to the sea eventually.  Macaque taught them that.

It takes them around an hour to walk to the end of the sewers, climbing out of the pipe and sitting atop it.  

They’re just a few hundred yards away from the city’s docks.  They dangle their feet over the edge of the pipe and watch the rushing sewer water drain out into the sea.

They pull out their phone.

Red Son would likely know how to work robotics, but they’re supposed to find a human.  Plus, they don’t want to involve Red in this sort of stuff.  They can probably ask Mei.  She doesn’t know about their favor business, so she won’t be any the wiser, and she won’t feel guilty!  It’s the perfect plan.

‘Mei.

Hello!  It’s Spirit.  I was wondering about the technology of the city.  It is very advanced.  How was it constructed?  Who keeps it running?

Let me know if you know!

Spirit’

That should be inconspicuous enough to get Mei to start discussing things.  They don’t like dancing around subjects, but they don’t think this is the sort of thing they can just tell Mei about.  Mei is the type to have more of a moral backbone than Spirit does.  Spirit has their rules, of course, their lines in the sand, but they do most anything regardless of consequence.  What is good, what is bad; they don’t have the power to deliberate on that sort of thing.

If they were powerful enough that no one could hurt them, they would choose good, of course.  They don’t enjoy most of the work they do, they don’t find satisfaction in it besides the comfort of knowing that they’re a little safer, but it’s necessary.  They don’t have the luxury of knowing powerful people to protect them.  They don’t have anyone who would.

So they protect themself, somehow.  It works.

They pocket their phone, and head back towards the city.

They take a detour to the forest, because being in the sewers did nothing to keep them clean.  There’s a stream a few miles out of town that’s perfect for washing in, though, so that’s where they end up, carefully scrubbing the scent out of their clothes and fur and sunbathing on a rock.  They sprawl across it, back curved as their head hangs off one end and their feet and tail the other.  They have to bend their legs a bit, because the rock isn’t tall enough to keep every part of them off of the ground, but it’s mostly comfortable.

Just for a few hours, they let themself rest, polishing off the last few mooncakes as their fur and outfit dry.

They end up falling asleep and wake up as stars dot the sky.  The more they stare, the more their vision becomes unfocused, so that the lights triple in number.  It’s fun, sometimes, to have lopsided eyes.  It creates an interesting view.

They stretch, grabbing their now dry clothes and putting them on.  They’ll take a leisurely walk back to the city, maybe pick up breakfast.  Maybe.  They already ate something this week, and it’s not like they need much.  Why waste the money if it’s for something unnecessary.

Then again, Comes a voice that sounds a little bit like Macaque, a little bit like Father, and mostly like a part of themself they prefer to ignore; Were the mooncakes necessary?

Spirit doesn’t have an answer to that.

An hour’s walk gives them plenty of time to introspect, but Spirit prefers to avoid that.  Their mind is a winding road paved back centuries, but while it started with lovingly placed bricks somewhere along the way the materials were left shattered.  Glass and broken stone leaves feet bloody and pained, and you can’t go around, only through.  So Spirit chooses neither, and leaves the rest of the road to be forgotten.

The road they’re on now, the present, is made with a mosaic of materials they managed to cobble together, after everything broke.  It’s bumpy, there are cracks in the pavement, and you have to be careful.  Spirit is always careful, though; they’ve had the practice.

The issue with being so, so careful is that leaving behind the earliest stretches of road means they remember little of their childhood.  Spirit would never say it aloud, but they don’t remember their mother’s face.  To find that picture would mean flipping through the bloody pages of their photo album, and Spirit is, at the end of it all, a coward.

That’s enough thought for now.  We have to move things along.

Spirit thinks they can have a leisurely morning, but yet another token buzzes in their pocket, much to their chagrin.  Spirit wouldn’t say it, but sometimes it’s exhausting to be at everyone’s beck and call.  They signed up for it, however, they’ve no room to complain.

Reaching into their pocket, they pull out Yin and Jin’s token.  They frown, if only because Yin and Jin call them the most frequently and, often, the favors they’re called for are mundane and silly.  

Though, compared to the harder, less moral favors, they find these preferable.

They consider letting the token ring.  They’ve done that before.  Yin and Jin have so many favors put down that they get a little cavalier with how they interact with the pair.  The two used Spirit a lot before they knew how the system worked and realized using them as a crutch was a bad idea.

Apparently owing Spirit something is a bad thing.  Spirit can’t imagine why.

They sigh.  As much as Yin and Jin are long-time clients, that’s no excuse for being late or lazy.  They take a deep breath, and let the token whisk them away.

They arrive within the city, at the front step of a hideout.  Spirit recognizes the alley once they swivel their head around.  It’s a fair few miles in the middle of the city, where a lot of nooks and crannies lie between the bustling streets.  Perfect for hiding.  It’s not too far from the main road that it would be invisible, though Spirit isn’t sure if that’s because Yin and Jin want to be near the main road or if they just didn’t think about it.  With their general intelligence, it’s 50/50.

They step inside, posture straight.  All business.

“Hello,” they greet.

Inside is a rather sparse dwelling.  There’s what appears to be an unused kitchen off to the right of the main room.  Said room is a large expanse, and a dirty one at that.  At the back of it is a board, covered in pins and string, tying threads together in myriad ways that Spirit can’t quite decipher.  They see Mei up there.  A picture of Pigsy.  The rest are unrecognizable.

“Hey!” Yin calls.  

Spirit’s gaze drops down to them.  They’ve been taller than the two for centuries.

“Got a favor for ya,” Jin continues.

“I assumed,” Spirit replies.  “What do you need me to do?

Red eyes squint with twin sharp-toothed grins, and they pull out a large book.

“Well you see,” Yin starts.

“We wanna go after the Monkie Kid, yeah?” Jin continues.

“So we made a plan,” Yin finishes.

They open the book, straight to the middle, and on the page are...two steps illustrated.  Pretty self explanatory, in the sense that Spirit can tell that they want to use some sort of artifact to trap the Monkey King’s successor.

“So, we figured, Calabash,” Jin points to the first picture.  “We capture him in it, keep ‘im in there, right?”

“Right,” Yin agrees.

They look to Spirit.

“Right?” Spirit says.

They both nod.

“The thing is,” Jin moves on, which Spirit appreciates because they don’t know where this conversation is going, “The calabash is uh, in a museum.”

“It’s old,” Yin supplies.

“You want me to retrieve it for you?” Spirit parses out.

Yin and Jin smile again, all teeth.  It used to be intimidating, but, well, Spirit is older, and smarter.

Spirit is scared of everyone, but there’s a certain safety that comes with knowing that when push comes to shove, they just need to kill one to incapacitate the other.  They’ve seen the two when one is absent without cause.  They can use that, if needed.  Not that they would, but they could.  That makes them safe.

“Now you got it,” Jin crosses his arms over his chest.  

“Sound good?” Yin asks.

“Do I have a time limit?” Spirit likes to know the conditions.

They’re already working on one favor, and if they have to worry about the time limit of another favor, then they have to balance things.  Not that they do much else when not working on favors, but still.  They like to be a little organized.

“We’re gonna order from the restaurant the kid works at in a week or two,” Yin explains.

Spirit nods.  That gives them time.  They have a phone now, too, and Mei taught them how to search stuff on it, so they can look up the museum once they’re out.

“Okay,” They respond.  “Anything else?”

Yin and Jin glance at each other.  They have this way of communicating without words, and Spirit finds it kind of cool.  There’s a twitch of an eyebrow on one face, a small mouth movement on the other.  Their expressions don’t really change, just shift a little.

“Nah, we’re good,” Yin waves them off.

Spirit nods and vanishes without a farewell.

All in all, they don’t dislike Yin and Jin.  Sure, the two are loud and rambunctious, but so is Red, and Spirit could never dislike Red.  In a way, they’re almost jealous of the pair.  They have each other.  They have someone who will never leave, who could never leave.  Inseparable, two against the world.

One is the loneliest number, and maybe Spirit is just a little jealous to know a Yin who isn’t always alone. 

As they head off, scaling the wall and choosing to traverse the city over rooftops, they get a text.  It’s from Mei, a response to their earlier query.  Spirit stops, tail swishing back and forth as they perch on the edge of a roof, toes curled over the edge to grip it as they squat, leaning down to read the text.

‘hey spirit!

the city is the sum of hundreds of years of advancement, with tens of hundreds of programmers and hardware engineers building it up! ive been looking up a lot of them as inspo for my work in tech. 

i like this one programmer, syntax.  hes a mystery, theres only one public picture of him, but hes responsible for most of the tech in the city!  he was the leading programmer for the weather tower and has a bunch of patents he makes money off.  total recluse lol no one knows where he could even live near!  ive always wanted to meet him.  lemme send you some articles!!!!!’

Interspersed between the sentences are a deluge of emojis.  A lot of green hearts, a couple dragons, some rain clouds when mentioning the weather tower.  Beneath the text are a few articles.  Spirit squints.  They think they press their finger on those.

Sure enough, pressing their finger on the article pulls it up in a...they think Mei called it a web browser?  They should ask her next time they’re called over.

Or...well, Mei doesn’t know it, but they’re doing Spirit a favor, giving them this information, and if there’s anything Spirit fears, it’s being in someone’s debt.  She doesn’t know, but she could find out, and if she did, she could use them, she could hurt them—

Well, Mei doesn’t seem the type, but one never knows.

‘Mei.

Thanks.  I’ll read them soon.  Hey, do you want to meet someplace? I know your mother was not thrilled at my offer to teach you swordfighting, but I am still willing to.  As long as we meet away from your house.  I wouldn’t want to get in trouble.

Let me know!

Spirit.’

That should even things out.  A good lesson or two, maybe more.  Spirit would prefer to do more than less when repaying a debt, just to be sure.

They start to peruse the different articles.  The only public image they have of this programmer is striking.  He’s got eccentric hair and a small mustache.  He frowns at the camera, clearly displeased with having his picture taken, a pristine lab coat on and a pair of bright green glasses adorning his face.  There’s a hand on his shoulder, holding him in place as the picture is taken.

The only known thing that he does is go to a specific coffee shop.  Evidently, anytime he goes, the cameras in the area including phones stop working, thus contributing to the lack of photos.  People like to chat about him, simply because of the mystery of it.

They get a text back from Mei.

‘sounds great!  i know a place.  text u the deets later! <3’

Spirit smiles.

They decide to stake out the coffee shop this Syntax goes to.  It’s toward the outskirts of the city, small, with a reputation for using specially designed and grown beans that no one else can replicate.  Supposedly.  It keeps a low profile, as well as a very high end coffee shop can, but most people are priced out of it anyway.  From what Spirit read from reviews, a lot of people would get this coffee as a treat, something to save up for as a present on a weekend.  It’s a large place, and people often go to sit and relax for a while with their drink.

Syntax, evidently, goes there up to five times a week, to the point that his drink is memorized by everyone who works there.  He pays in cash, to avoid any trace that he was there, and then disappears.  People say he avoids being followed.

People, though.  Mortals.  They can’t see souls the way Spirit can.

They catch him on day two of their stakeout, and they sit, waiting, as he orders.  Cash is exchanged, and he walks away.  No one tries to follow him, but Spirit must, so they will.

They blink, and the world bursts into different colors.  Souls of all different shades, constantly interacting with one another.  Syntax’s soul is a neon green, with lavender lines within that resemble code.  The soul takes on the whole of the person, after all.  People more powerful can have souls that show it.  Spirit likes that.  They like knowing that they can always check if people are lying.

They follow, and soon realize why Syntax is so hard to follow.  Every turn and twist he sends out a...well, he can’t make clones, but they’re digital recreations of himself that continue walking in a different direction than the real Syntax is.  They’re near perfect, able to fool anyone who just saw them as is, but they don’t have souls.  

So Spirit follows the soul.

It’s a good hour walk, not that Syntax walks all the way.  Once he’s out of the main city area, he hops into a hover car that seems like a personal project (if the paint job is anything to say about it) and blasts off.  Spirit follows the trail, far enough behind that they can’t see Syntax but close enough that they can catch his colors in their eye.

It’s a good twenty minutes before they reach Syntax’s house.  It looks like a fortress, a large mansion gated and hidden.  Spirit takes a picture, grabs Spider Queen’s token, and disappears.

They were just told to locate him, after all.  They prefer that.  As much as Spirit is good at their job, they don’t like the thought of having to kidnap anyone, because the person would likely scream, or cry, or beg, and Spirit would have to see that.  

It’s easier if they don’t see it.  They already know it isn’t right, they don’t need the painful reminder.

Spider Queen’s lair is as dark and damp as they remember, with the added addition of an expansion of the green pool of bubbling liquid.  It has spread to little pods scattered about the place, glowing ominously with newfound energy.

“Miss Queen?” They call.  

Green eyes blink from the dark, and Spirit stays very still as she comes into view.

“Back so soon?” Spider Queen leans back on her mech, grinning like...what was the phrase Spirit had heard.  Like a cat who had caught the canary?  That’s it.

Spirit doesn’t know why it has to be a canary.  Cats eat plenty of birds.  And mice!  Odd.

“I have what you want,” Spirit replies, keeping it short and to the point.  “He’s an engineer and a programmer, and a recluse, so people probably won’t notice if he goes missing.  I have a picture of his house, and I can take you to it if you want, bu_t”

“That won’t be necessary,” Spider Queen waves a hand.  She clears her throat with intention, and Spirit tilts their head to the side as another figure comes out from the shadows.

“My Queen,” Huntsman’s voice is as gravelly as ever, and he bows a little in greeting.

Spirit gives him a small wave.  He rolls his eyes at them.  

Fair enough.

“I need you to hunt down this human.  He’s important to my debut as Queen of the world!  Spirit here has the details.”

Spider Queen gestures to them, and Spirit jumps a little as the weight of seemingly eyes all fall upon them.

“O-oh!” They fumble to pull out their phone.  “I have-uh-I have a photo of his house, so you can use that, and, uh—”

They look down, and Huntsman is suddenly very, very close to them.  They take a wary step back.  

He sniffs them.

“Were you just there?” He asks.

Spirit slowly nods, holding out their phone so Huntsman can see the picture of Syntax’s house.  He glances down at it, and then after scanning it over, nods decisively.

“I’ll have him here by tomorrow,” he promises.

“He-uh-!” Spirit raises a hand, pressing their fingers to their mouth in apprehension.  “His house looks very high tech.  There’ll uh-there’ll probably be, um, defenses.”

They haven’t talked to Huntsman or Goliath much, in the centuries they’ve been around to help Spider Queen with different things, but Huntsman gave them a knife once.  Said it was because they looked pathetic without a way to defend themself.  They didn’t want to tell him that they already had a weapon, so they kept the knife.  He got them one with a purple grip, even!  It was a nice gesture, and Spirit would like Huntsman to stay alive.

Not that they ever really want anyone dead, but they know it’s often an eventuality, and saving every person, wanting to keep every person they know around is hard, and will only lead to pain.  They know from experience.  Besides, they’re pretty sure no one would do anything to keep them alive.  If a tool breaks you can always get a new one, so Spirit is expendable, and expendable means that you can’t be expected to be kept safe.  They know from experience.  But they like certain hands that wield them over others, so they’d like those ones to remain, at least.

Huntsman grins, at that.

“I love it when they fights back,” he almost purrs before skittering off.

Spirit watches him leave, head tilted to the side.  They suppose it makes sense that he likes hunting, considering his name is Huntsman.  They wonder if his name was because of his type or his profession.  Or maybe his type dictated his profession?  Then again, there isn’t such a spider type as queen, so that’s a little silly to think about.

“Thank you, dear,” Spider Queen says, jerking Spirit out of their thoughts.

Spirit bows.  “Of course, Miss Queen.”

When they stand up, there’s a bag of money—smaller than the one Macaque gave them, but hefty nonetheless—being offered to them.

“You’re too skinny,” Spider Queen says. “I can’t have a servant of mine looking half starved!  Do something about it.”

Spirit blinks.  They didn’t think they were too skinny.  Sure, they could feel their ribs easily, but that's nice, because whenever they break their ribs they can figure out which one super fast.  It’s useful.  They don’t want to disappoint Spider Queen, though, and while she didn’t say it was a favor she is giving Spirit money, so they might as well get something to eat as a job well done gift.

They ignore how that thought makes their stomach squirm.  How they feel about the jobs they are given does not matter.  It never has.

“Of course,” They repeat, taking the bag.  With another bow, they leave.

Thankfully, this trip hasn’t ruined their clothes, so they don’t need to wash them.  They leave through a manhole cover in an alley, and when they peek their head out to see where they are, Bitter Sweets stares them down from across the street.

Well, at least they know they’ll like something from the shop, right?

The bell above the door rings in their ears long after the sound leaves the room, and Almond comes in with a smile that is slowly becoming familiar.  It’s almost motherly, but Spirit wouldn’t say that, because if they did they’d have to run.  Run before the motherly figure burns to dust, disappears for the sole reason of being motherly to them, of all people. 

So for now, they say it is kind, and warm, and comforting.

“Spirit!” she grins up at them.

Spirit smiles hesitantly back.

“More mooncakes?” Almond prompts.

“Yes,” They nod, toes curling in excitement.

Nostalgia hurts a little, but it’s nice, too.  “And—” they start, because Almond is kind, and open, and soft and Spirit can be brave a little. “Maybe, um, you could recommend some stuff?  I-uh,” They rub the back of their neck sheepishly.  “I don’t know the names of most of this.”

They gesture to the display case lamely.

Almond’s smile somehow gets softer, and her eyes light up with excitement.  Spirit’s tail swishes back and forth with a calm joy from making someone happy.

“Of course,” Almond replies.

Getting the Calabash is, unsurprisingly, boring.  Stealing an item is much easier than tracking a person.  One quick search and they find it in a museum, nestled near the center of the city.  Sneaking in is easy, because while they are tall, they’re quiet, flexible, and smart.  That, and the people here are very lax in security.  Being so used to peacetime makes people complacent.  In a way, Spirit is relieved that they have known conflict most of their life.  It keeps them sharp.

They don’t know what to do in peacetime.  There’s always something to do, a job to accomplish.  A fight to help with.  What else can they do?

The only thing that gives them pause is the existence of two Calabashes.  One, older and far larger, is stated as the original.  Evidently, using a mix of demon magic and more modern technology, a new one was made, one that aimed to capture rather than kill.  

Yin and Jin never specified which one they wanted.  If Spirit was to guess, they know the pair would want the original.  The one that melts whoever is trapped within.  The one that kills.

Spirit doesn’t kill children.  And they don’t know the Monkey King’s successor, but he’s a child.  Younger than they are.

Are they a child?  Were they ever?

So they hedge their bets on the idea that Yin and Jin won’t notice the difference, and pick the newer, kinder one.

The pair does not notice.  They’re a bit scatterbrained like that.  Or maybe they don’t care.

Once the Calabash is secured and delivered, Spirit sits atop a random building, chewing on leftover pastries from their last visit to Almond’s bakery.  The sunset is looking awfully nice, but Spirit thinks that the charm is lost once you lose someone to watch them with, so they pull out their phone.

In the news section, there is a small article about Syntax abandoning his favorite coffee shop.  The article supposes that he picked another spot to get his caffeinated beverages.  There are thousands of comments speculating, wondering where he could have gone.

Spirit knows the truth.  The weight of that, the guilt, sits at the bottom of their stomach like a stone.

But there’s a hundred, a thousand, a hundred thousand stones sitting there, and they’ve been dragging Spirit down for a long time.  One more isn’t going to change much, isn’t going to drag them deeper down than they already are.  They’ve been drowning for centuries.  Drowning, mouth clenched shut, holding in their final breath, as if the moment they let it go they’d finally succumb to the suffocation pressing against them on all sides.  

When they were younger, they’d claw to the surface, take a breath or two, before another stone weighed them lower.  The sunlight doesn’t reach them, with how deep they are now.  Nothing does, because Spirit is alone.  That’s what happens when you hurt everyone around you, isn’t it?

One of these days, they were going to let go.  One of these days, they’d open their mouth, and finally they would be able to scream.

Sometimes all Spirit wants to do is let go, scream, and drown. 

They look at the sunset.  It’s looking awfully nice, don’t you think?

[pollylynn]

Title: Goldilocks WC: 1000 Episode: The Final Frontier (5  x 06)

He assumes, most of the time, that it is his holy mission to make sure that she plays sometimes. He is not entirely self-appointed in this regard. She herself was the first to come out and say it, so long ago at this point—so comparatively early in their partnership—that he sometimes thinks he imagined it, as he is certainly wont to do. But this is not just him rewriting history in this case. It’s not just him Mary Sue-ing his way into the role of the Play Police. She’s said it herself, in so many words: Having him around counteracts, in some small way, how hard the job is. Having him around makes things a little more fun. 

And he knows because she’s told him, low-voiced and sweetly, that Roy kept him around for the same reason. She’s told him that, and she didn’t have to, and it means the world to him. Elsewhere in their universe, the boys, for all that they like to make sure that the workplace is where flirtatious fun goes to die, definitely enjoy the lighter side he brings out in Beckett, and he has read between the lines of Lanie’s perennially narrowed eyes and determined that, yes, she will kill him slowly if he screws up and hurts her friend, but she is generally of the opinion that he provides a valuable fun-based service. 

He takes his work seriously, ironically enough, and from the beginning, he has enjoyed the job immensely. He has taken pride in every jinx he’s lured her into or paid off in off-brand diet sodas from the vending machine. He has an entire notebook devoted to schoolyard taunts he’s baited her into making. It truly feels like victory when he gets her to shake off the role of the grown-up for even the briefest of moments. 

But it’s a next-level victory when he unearths some bit of her past that reveals play comes naturally to her. And this—the Nebula-9 confessionals—all of this is appropriately out of this world. He loves, in retrospect, discovering how much sooner he should have been on to her devotion to the show. He chuckles as he thinks about the slightly manic way she’d teased the SciFi murder scene, fully expecting him to be as wowed by the ties to the show as she clearly is. He wants to kick himself remembering how Ryan, of all people, seemed to clue in immediately when she suggested using the fansite to canvass for potential witnesses. 

The charm of it—the ever-present thrill he feels whenever he discovers something wonderfully playful in her past—dims a bit when it comes to Captain Max. He sees, once again with the benefit of hindsight, her initial awe at the prospect of meeting him, and he sees how quickly it fades when it rapidly becomes obvious that the man is nothing but one might call foibles if one were motivated to protect all that is wondrous and playful in the tender heart of the woman of one’s dreams. 

And he is motivated. He is happy to play bad cop with Gabriel Winters so that she doesn’t have to. He’s happy to more or less call the man stupid to his face, to be the one who notes that there’s little point in being shy about personal matters when they already know about his threesome with the Lieutenants Chloe. He is ready to go across the table and throttle the man when he has the STD-riddled balls to call the Nebula-9 fans lunatics, though he manages to confine himself to a Sing-Sing joke instead, but only because he knows she’ll kill him if he disrupts an interrogation. 

He doesn’t end up protecting her from all that is gross about Gabriel Winters, because there’s simply too much, as the hits regrettably keep coming, despite the man’s very slightly redeeming judo take-down of their killer in the end. That leaves her smiling, but it’s nowhere near redemption. 

She doesn’t need him to protect her memories, her deeply nerdy fangirl heart, or her commitment to playfulness, as it tuns out. It’s everything about Stephanie Frye that makes that clear, and really, he should have known better anyway than to mistake Kate Beckett—even nostalgia-ridden Kate Beckett—for any kind of damsel in distress. 

She knows who her heroes are and who they aren’t. She knows that inspiration, reassurance, and role models turn up in the strangest places, and she knows the difference between fact and fiction. She lifts her unashamed chin in his direction and declares her unwavering love and admiration for her warrior–scientist heroine and—maybe a touch less emphatically—for the noble leader of the crew tasked with carrying the human species into the future.

It’s such a wonderfully grown-up response to the entire situation. It’s so healthy and functional that he almost finds himself envious. Almost, though he has no plans to retire from the solemn job of making sure she plays from time to time. 

And maybe it’s nostalgia, but her take on everything puts him in mind of Kyra. It puts him in mind of the very first thing she said in response to the dig he just couldn’t resist making. 

Does that mean the groom is a grown-up, too? All work and no play?

He remembers the well-warranted sharp look and the softer one that followed—the one that was probably fonder in that moment than he deserved. 

No. He plays just enough. 

She puts him in mind of Kyra, of that conversation, of same-time, next-year flings and the joy of leaving them behind. He thinks of Meredith and Gina and the extremes they represented in his life, in his past. 

He thinks of her—of Kate—wonderfully playful, wonderfully grown-up. So this is what that’s like then. This is exactly what that is like. 

A/N: So I did manage this bit of total lack of morphousness. OR DID I? Without morphousness (which this is totally without), who can say? 

images via homeofthenutty

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Movie Review | Death on the Nile (Guillermin, 1978)

This was a movie we owned on VHS as I was growing up, so I'd seen it a number of times, even though I remembered very little little outside of a magnificently mustachioed Peter Ustinov as Hercule Poirot and the sweltering Egyptian atmosphere. I also wouldn't call myself a great Agatha Christie fan, although I did inherit some secondhand appreciation thanks to my dad. When I was volunteering at my high school library (in my province they make you do a certain number of hours of community service in order to graduate from high school; I think the idea is to instill in our youth an appreciation for public service, although in my less charitable moments I sympathized with the annoying Marxist in this movie and thought they should have just paid somebody to do these things), my dad insisted that I bring home all of the old Christie novels they were going to throw out. So I did end up reading a number of her books in my teenage years. (My favourite as I recall was The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, for reasons that will be readily evident to anyone who's actually read it. I wouldn't dare spoil it myself.)

All of this is to say I felt a certain pang of nostalgia when I revisited this, even though (as I indicated above), I remembered next to nothing about the story and observe it playing out as if I was figuring it out along with Poirot, nodding along as he noticed clues and confided his observations to his friend played by David Niven. Yes, yes, I was thinking that too. Now, as a kid, my familiarity with the movie's stars probably didn't line up with most people of my generation, and was also the result of my dad's taste. Which is to say, I recognized Ustinov from Blackbeard's Ghost, Niven from The Guns of Navarone, and pretty much nobody else. I had no idea who people like Mia Farrow, Bette Davis, George Kennedy or Angela Lansbury were. Now I've grown to be easily dazzled by the presence of actual movie stars, so when the camera panned across a number of them in one of the introductory scenes, I felt a little awestruck, especially as this wasn't even half of the principal cast.

This was made a few years after Sidney Lumet's adaptation of Murder on the Orient Express, which featured Albert Finney as Poirot. There might be some childhood nostalgia playing a role here, but I much prefer Ustinov in the role. For one, Finney looks like he had a mustache pasted over his lip, while Ustinov looks to have been born with one. But I think Finney had a certain gruffness in his portrayal, whereas Ustinov seems gentler, more gleeful and a little paternal. You can hear the disappointment in his voice when he tries to warn a jilted Mia Farrow away from the path she's chosen.

"I know how you feel. We all feel like that at times. However, I must warn you, mademoiselle: Do not allow evil into your heart, it will make a home there."

"If love can't live there, evil will do just as well."

"How sad, mademoiselle."

Or notice the discreet smiles he affords himself as he twirls his mustache or notices something that no one else does. Or how carefully he times his pauses, especially when he reveals the culprit. I am not a smart man and won't pretend I can solve these whodunits faster than their genius detective heroes, but I appreciate a flamboyant reveal as much as the next person, and like when the person doing the revealing relishes it as much as I do. This is a guy who loves his job.

This was directed by John Guillermin, of whose work I'd only seen his jaded, extremely '70s take on King Kong. (That movie co-starred Charles Grodin, who would have killed it in this movie. Imagine him as the sleazy lawyer played by George Kennedy and lament the missed opportunity.) Guillermin is likely not as good a director as Lumet, but he understands the assignment, and is able to juggle the extremely impressive cast and let them all have their moments. (The best bit of casting is likely Lois Chiles as the wealthy murder victim. I think back to watching the film version of The Great Gatsby during high school English and hearing my teacher wax rhapsodic about her aura of old money, a quality that serves her well in this role.) And it helps that the production design is impeccable, there's a Nino Rota score, and the movie is shot by the great Jack Cardiff, who captures the proceedings with effortlessly handsome cinematography and every once in a while produces a bit of that old Powell Pressburger lighting magic. And while the movie arguably runs a little long at almost two and a half hours, it's a nice excuse to hang out on this set with this colourful cast.