#and ahh i send it in to get repaired

[eyeritestuff]

“I’m home.”

——

Tom (Eddsworld) x Reader [FUTURE AU]

Characters: Tom

Warnings: none,, just sad or whateva (send help)

Author’s note: don’t ask where i got inspo… short bc erm yah :3 i didn’t check for typos so oopsies !

——

The night was bleak, but yet somehow managed to house life with all of the neon city lights. You let out breath, only to see it animate as smoke in front of you. It was nothing you weren’t already used to, however living in America for 10 years will make you appreciate the little sun home had.

You had just got off the plane and were awaiting a bus to your hotel. You came here on impulse.. you were starting to get anxiety at the idea. What was the whole purpose of this trip? You tried to quell it, and so you looked down at your phone to see a missed call from- oh.. oh.

Immediately, you unlock your phone and redial, and with the same amount of swiftness, the other side picked up.

“Hello?”

His voice, it sounded so different. It was woven with misery. It’s not the him you knew. Of course, in the past he always had his monotone and sassy way of responding, but it’s.. different. Does he even know? He hasn’t called you all this time up until this point.. he had to know.

“Tom..?”

You choked out. Why were you getting emotional? This didn’t make any sense. You missed him, yes, vbht he hurt you. It’s probably the nostalgia from being at here again. At home.

But home didn’t look like home anymore.

“ahh.. y/n..,” he sighed and your breath hitched, “i’m sorry.. i’m so so sorry.”

You grabbed your stuff and got off of the bench you were sat at and started walking.

“Please don’t hang up, and listen. I don’t know why I didn’t call. I think about you every night. I was mad... I think I was mad. I was hurt you didn’t even hesitate to leave. I didn’t show up at the airport the day you left and I regret it everyday. The promise you made all those years ago.. we were teenagers, I know, but I can’t help but remind myself of it every time I think of you.”

Your walking pace started getting faster. Next thing you knew, you took a sharp left turn, then a right, then you continued on straight. Your body was guiding you at this point, but you didn’t care. As long as the tears didn’t fall. You listened intently as his breath hitched and couldn’t help but feel your stomach turn.

“I got the letter you sent me.. and I never wrote back. I’m sorry. I read it everyday. I tried writing back, and I’ve kept every draft. I want to read it to you one day.. I don’t know when that day will be, but y/n.. when I read the last part.. when you said ‘Til infinity.. did you really mean it? Do you still love me? Did the feelings ever leave?? Y/n I can’t begin to apologize enough..”

Next time your conscious decided to check up on your surroundings, you were in a building signing a visitor list with your shoulder prompting up your phone to your ear.

“Y/n.. I love you. I never stopped loving you. I was hurt, and I was upset.. that I lost the only person I ever recognized as a part of me. I didn’t want your happiness to depend on me. I wanted you to have the world, and the luxuries I couldn’t afford you. For fuck sake y/n, I could barely afford repairing Susan. I saw how much you wanted to become a doctor.. so I thought letting you go would be best,” he let out a sad chuckle, and it made you flash a sad smile in return, “I’m probably not making any sense, am I? Whatever.. I just needed to get this out to you.”

You found yourself standing in a doorway to an office. You didn’t dare make a noise once you realized where you were: It was his office.

How’d you even think to come here.. when did you even ask the front desk for directions? How’d you know— well, you knew what he was up to because Matt did keep in contact. Still, it made your stomach do flips.

You heard him speak twice over because you hadn’t dare hang up, “Y/n… you don’t have to say anything but..” He stopped, and so did your heart. The feedback from the phones was enough to make the back that was facing you turn. To say he looked different was an understatement.

You watched as his frown turned into a shaky smile, then into a frown again, but this time he bit down on his lip. Probably to stop the quivering. You couldn’t tell if he was crying due to the goggles he had on, but you knew he was in shock by the way he shakily stood up.

Your heart sank watching how he tried to stay strong for you.

The tears fell when he hung up.

The sobs followed when you closed the door behind you.

Tom slowly moved from behind his desk to get closer to you, only for him to run towards you after watching your legs struggle to keep you up. Falling into his arms, you clung onto him for dear life. He smelled so nice.. the alcohol scent was softer now.. did he lay off a little? All the memories your dream job helped you repress came rushing back. He was your first kiss, your first boyfriend, your first true best friend… your first everything.

“I left you.. I broke our promise, and I’m so sorry Tom-” he interrupted, “You were my responsibility and I avoided you because I was being selfish.”

You looked up at him, and him down at you.

“I love you so much… you look so miserable… yet you look so pretty.. you’ve grown up.” You tried to smile but you realized it probably looked like you were dying, and the awkward laugh you choked out ended up sounding like a whimper.

Burying your face into his chest, you spoke muffled, “I regret leaving you. I was selfish.. and I didn’t think of you-” “No y/n-” “Listen.. please.. I don’t need the money. At least not anymore. I wanna be here with you again. I wanna be with you.. again. I wanna have the stupid family you always spoke about.. you know.. the one with the mutated dog and a daughter with the inability to tell her left from the right..”

You heard a chuckle rumble from him and began to pet your head, “I can’t believe you remember that..” Oh his voice sounded sad.. like he was crying. Brace for rejection, is what you told yourself.

“Id like that a lot y/n..”

You looked up to see Tom, now without his goggles.. Oh his eyes… what happened to your love when you were away. You couldn’t help but cry harder seeing him like that. You weren’t there for him. You watched as his face grew pained watching your reaction. Like a child, you rubbed your eyes, but the tears wouldn’t stop.

“Tom… I love you so much. There’s so much I want to say but I can’t manage to stop.. barely even speak… could you ever forgive me..? For doing this to you.. for leaving you like this..”

You felt his hand gently grace your face.. what once was a soft hand turned rough.

“I’d forgive you a hundred times over if it meant I got to hold you again.”

[ecstasyhighway]

You & I | e. williams

chapter ii

CW: abby cheats on reader 😓 uhhhh there is no smut in this its really just a look into their lives kinda. Drinking and literally one mention of ellie being high. reader has her own friends who ive just given random ahh names and the owner of the music store ellie works at is mentioned. ermmm i think thats it if i missed anything pls lmk.

a/n: please understand that i am not a professional writer.. shit might be wrong (grammer, punctuation ect) its not really proofread but its been put through grammarly so yehah enjoysies i guess

MEN DNI I WILL FIND YOU.

wc: 2.3k ish

prologue. ch 1.

You wake up to the sun shining into your room, your phone going off relentlessly, “Man what the- who is texting me” You pick up your phone,

*45 missed messages from Abby*

‘baby cmon’

‘It was a mistake, I'm sorry’

‘y/n you are doin way too much rn just pick up baby please’

You roll your eyes at her pleads. She cheated on you with one of your best friends and she just expects you to forgive her? Hell no! She betrayed your trust. You put your phone on Do Not Disturb and began to get ready to shower.

‘Where the fuck is my speaker..’ you think to yourself as you look through your apartment, making a mess of clothes on the floor. You stop and think back to the last time you used it.. Last night! you go to your kitchen and sure enough there it is, right on the counter. You grab it and go to your bathroom, put on a playlist, and get in the shower.

Ellie couldn’t sleep, she was just too embarrassed, she still could not believe she was touching herself out in public. She thought she was cringe as fuck for that.. Whatever she has to get ready for work. She does a quick sniff test ‘Good enough’ she gets into her car and heads to the shop.

She gets to the store and notices that one of the lights on the sign has gone out. She grabs her phone out of her pocket and sends a text to Mrs. Alden,

‘Good morning Mrs. Alden, I just got to the shop and noticed that one of the lights that are on the sign has gone out. Would you like me to call someone?’

‘Good Morning Ellie. Yes, you can call someone. I will be stopping by at around 4 pm. I need to pick up something and I need to pay the bills. I will see you later Ellie.’

*Ellie liked a message*

Ellie heads inside and gets the store ready to be opened, she calls a repair company to schedule an appointment to get the light fixed. She goes to the back to do a quick restock.

“Ellie! I'm here, do you need anything?” Jesse yells from the other room, Ellie flinches at the sound of his voice and walks to where he was

“Fuck, Jesse you scared me, I dunno maybe? Not right now I don’t think. The electrician is coming to fix a light on the sign at like 12, but I might not be here so will you be able to let him in and show him which light it is? Oh also Mrs. Alden is coming around 4 so be respectful she's old and she will fire you if you are just the slightest bit disrespectful”

Jesse gives her a nod indicating that he understands,

Ellie goes to her little music room to rest as the store doesn't open until 10 and it's only 8 right now. She is nervous. As much as she loves Mrs. Alden, she scares the shit out of Ellie, she's quite old and mean, and she never comes to the shop…like ever.

Whitney Alden Is the owner of ‘Musemoon’, she started the shop in 1999 and it's been her baby ever since, she met Ellie when she was 10 and took her in, she helped Ellie understand music better and form a connection with it. Ellie is terrified of Mrs. Alden, why? Don't ask, she just is.

So Alden coming to the shop is very stressful for Ellie as she is the manager and is next in line to own the store when Whitney dies. Everything has to be perfect, no album out of place, no dust on the record players. Oh, and Ellie’s music room needs to be spick and span. So before Ellie takes a little nap she sets two alarms, one for 9:50 and another for 3:00.

The sound of the alarm jolts Ellie out of her sleep. She looks at the time, it’s 9:55, enough time for her to open up the store and do some inventory.

“Jessie, I'm gonna open up shop and do some inventory before it gets too busy in here alright”

“Okay”

The repair man had come to fix the light about 8 hours ago and Mrs. Alden left an hour ago. It’s currently 8 and Ellie is getting ready to leave, but Jessie stops her

“Hey, Ellie, Dina and I were going to go to this bar downtown with a couple of friends, you wanna come?”

“uhhh yeah, who all is gonna be there?”

“Me, Dina, Tara, Cat, Syd-”

“I’m sorry, Cat?” Ellie looked at him like he was stupid “Cat as in my ex? the girl who literally made me lose my shit for like half a year?”

“Yeah, but I thought ya’ll ended on good terms?”

“Jessie Jesus fuck of course we didn’t end on good terms I literally had to stop working for a while? She made me go insane, To her we ended on good terms but to me, she fucked me up.”

“sooooo that's a no to going to the bar?”

“no fuck you im going, I need a drink. Alden stressed the fuck out of me” She rolls her eyes playfully and gives him a lighthearted punch in the arm.

————————————

You get a call from Abby, she has been blowing your phone up all day. Why can’t she catch a hint, you’re pissed at her. You don’t want to talk to her. Ignoring the phone isn’t going to stop her. You need to talk to her. Face to face. ‘fuck’ you thought to yourself, you know if you pull up to her house and try to argue with her about this, all that's gonna happen is her hands in your pants fingering away the anger. No, you decided to stand your ground, you’re going to go to her house and talk to her like the adults you are. This will not end in hate fucking, you promise to yourself.

You get in your car and drive to her house, your phone still going off constantly. Once you get to her house your eyes fixate on a car. A car you’ve seen, shit a car you’ve rode in. What. The. Fuck. You walk to her front porch and bang on the door

“ABBY” you continue knocking but still no answer.

“ABBY MOTHER FUCKE- LET ME IN OR GOD SO HELP ME I WILL KICK YOUR DOOR DOWN”

The door swings open and you see Abby, she has a black muscle shirt on and some black and red basketball shorts. You can’t lie, she looks so fine.. But no you’re mad at her.

“Baby, baby..calm down we can talk abo-”

you cut her off mid-sentence and push past her and walk into her home. “Now why the fuck” you laugh a little in disbelief “Why the fuck is Lexi’s car in your driveway?”

“it's not what you think baby I promise”

you’re looking at her intensely, she’s bullshitting you right now,

“bullshit”

You begin to head to Abby’s room, hoping to god that it was really just a misunderstanding. But your stomach drops when she tries her hardest to stop you from going in there. You burst into her room and there you see it. Lexi Smith. Here in the flesh. Literally. She’s naked and in Abby’s bed.

“Are you fucking kidding me..?” Tears begin to swell in your eyes and your voice trembles. “are both of you being so serious right now? Lexi what? Abby, I'm used to you doing stupid shit like this. But Lexi? Really? fuck both of yall”

Lexi sits there, silent with nothing to say. You look at Abby, her arms are crossed and her head is down. You walk up to her. “Look at me,” you say sternly

She opens her eyes and looks into yours. Her eyes are looking into yours so gently, she thinks she's gonna get away with this. Not this time. You’re done. You can’t take this shit anymore.

You look in her eyes. Anger filled your senses, and before you could even process it, you slapped her, hard enough to leave a mark. “Don’t call my phone ever again. I'm done, Abby. I'm done with you” You storm off to your car, tears still in your eyes, you get into your car and just sit there. You finally let go of the anger and sadness that had just built up in your body. You try your hardest not to cry too much but it's already too late. You drive home still crying. You open the door to your apartment and dial Jillian’s number.

‘hello..?’

“Jilly”

‘sweetheart? what's wrong?’

“Can you comeover please”

‘of course my love’

You hang up the phone and lie on your couch feeling numb. Why, though? This isn’t the first time Abby’s cheated… Maybe it's because it's your best friend that she cheated on you with. You sob even harder thinking about it.

about 5 minutes pass when you hear your door unlock and open

“y/n? sweetie? It's Jill” She walks over to you confused

“what’s wrong?”

you sniff, “Abby.. a-nd Lexi” You hiccup slightly between words “they…she..” You can’t even get your words out without getting the urge to cry. But Jillian understood what you said. She just hugs you and you both sit there for a moment so you can calm yourself.

“how about we try to take your mind off them for now, let's go out! a bar, my treat, Marshall and Jean can come yeah?”

you nod at her offer. Marshall, Jean, and Jillian. The ones who have been there since day one. The ones that have never betrayed you.

Jillian tells you to go get dressed and that Jean and Marshall will be there in about an hour.

Going out feels like a chore to you, you really don’t want to leave but, Jillian always knows what's best for you so you oblige. Throwing on a beige sweater dress and some heels, you and her were ready to hit the town.

Once you both arrive at the bar, you spot Marshall and Jean, ready with open arms to talk about how they never really fucked with Lexi and how they all knew she was fake. Even though they were the ones who told you to become friends with her during your freshman year of college, but whatever you know they’re just saying what you want to hear, trying to lighten the mood.

You are about three shots into some alcohol Jill had ordered for the table when you see a familiar face. Where did you see this girl? She looks so familiar, you begin to think back a day or two but the alcohol in your system was clouding your memory. The music store, right what was her name

you were so lost in thought you didn’t even realize Jean was trying to get your attention

“Hellooo?? Earth to y/n? girl hello I'm trying to talk to you”

“shit my bad what's up”

Marshall chimes in “What were you thinking about babes? you were so out of it”

You look at him and giggle a little, “okay guys, just listen” you pause hoping you have their full undivided attention. “you see that auburn-haired girl over there” You point in her direction trying to be discreet. “I know her, I met her like yesterday at that music store I went to”

They all look “Girll what is her name?” Marshall asks, trying to get any type of information he's definitely going to look her up and do some digging for you.

“I honestly do not remember. I know it started with an E or an A. Elsie? Ally?..Ellie! it was Ellie”

“bitchhh you should go talk to her” Jean chimes in but Jillian objects

“I really don’t think you should, you had a rough day and you’re already tipsy”

Jean and Marshall look at her angrily, “which is exactly why she should go talk to her. It might take her mind off of everything” Marshall says, trying to persuade her.

Jillian just throws her hands up in defeat. “Do whatever makes you happy y/n, just know I don’t think this is a good idea”

You consider just listening to her and not even taking the chance, but after some more encouraging words from Marshall and Jean, you give in, taking another shot before walking to her table.

You walk over to her, she’s sitting there so uninterested in what's happening around her.

“Hey?” you say softly trying not to startle her, She looks up at you, her eyes glossy and slightly red, she’s high..

“oh shit hey, you’re umm that girl from yesterday, y/n right?”

“yes, I am, anndd you’re Ellie right?”

she nods and looks into your eyes, “I just wanted to say hi, I saw you from across the room”

She smiles slightly “Well hey”

You realize you’ve been just standing there awkwardly, not saying anything

“Sorry I just wanted to say hi, I’ll get out of your hair now, again so sorry for bothering you”

She looks you up and down, “noo you are not bothering me if anything you’re saving me from them” She laughs and looks at her friends who are talking amongst themselves. You smile and giggle at her, you are very embarrassed,

“You want a drink?” She asks as she gets up from her seat and puts out her hand for you to take. You accept her offer and take her hand, she leads you to the bar and orders two whiskey sours

——————————

OH! and this was inspired by “The Thought Of You” by @ap3arll !!

🏷️ @vqxen @shiimer @bready101

[marymary-diva17]

Hello. Could you make a storie where Neteyam is deaf or mute? Or in a wheelchair?

mute neteyam x metkayian reader

Finding true love was something that all navi wanted in their lives, to be with someone that will love them for them. That was something that neteyam wanted for him he wish to have love, and he wish for a mate to love him for himself not his family status and his future as well. He also wish to find someone who will except him for being deaf and love him, he thought that will never come until they day he meet you.

Y/n " ......" you were walking on the bouncing walkway of the village, heading towards the sully family home to see neteyam. The two of you had become clsoe friends and always did task together for fun.

y/n " hello Jake Sully is neteyam up" Jake soon saw you as he was about to leave the family home.

Jake " oh hello y/n he is just got done eating breakfast, it seem like he was in rush and now I know why" Jake had smiled him and neytiri had thought you and Neteyam make a cute couple. They will always ask neteyam when he was finally going to ask you to be his girlfriend or confess his feelings.

y/n " oh my father told me that you and tsu'tey will be joining him on the hunt today"

Jake " yes we are" you are the daughter of tonowari and ronal, being their eldest child was something you and Neteyam were able to bond over.

Jake " oh here he comes"

neteyam " dad im going to out to do my task with y/n today, I'm going to get her... oh you are already here"

y/n " well yes last week you picked me up and now it my turn silly" neteyam had learned to read lips and body language, he had learned sign language and so did his family and everyone else. He had learned others ways to understand people and others around him.

Jake " oh so you were going to pick her up that very nice of you"

neteyam " dad " you soon laugh as neteyam was looking at his dad trying not be embarrassed.

Tonowari " daughter there you are"

y/n " hello baba I was going to do my task outside of the reef with neteyam today of the fine with you and Jake Sully"

Jake " im good with that neteyam knows what to do"

neteyam " yes I do sir I will keep y/n and myself safe from any trouble, and if the others come along I will make sure we all stay out of trouble"

tonowari " then you kids can go b safe out there please"

y/n " we will dad come on teyam" you soon grabbed neteyam arm and soon started dragging him away, making the boy smile brightly and laugh a bit. The two father looked at each other and smile knowing there was something between their kids.

neytiri " it seems like our son and your daughter seem to have a good bond together"

tonowari " ronal has said neteyam is the perfect match for our daughter" the three parents had smiled as the watched the pair take off on their IIu together as they seem to be talking about something.

sometime later

y/n " we just have to make sure the nets over here are good, and don't need repair"

Neteyam " got it so let talk about my brother and your sister"

y/n " what about them I think they will make a cute couple"

neteyam " oh good because lo'ak has asked me to tell you about some good facts about him, that you can share with tsireya"

y/n " oh become tsireya has asked to ask you or lo'ak about his favorite things and stuff so, she can get to know him better" soon you and neteyam started laughing, the duo younger siblings were crushing big time.

Neteyam " here let me help you" you were having a hard time checking a net, when Neteyam had noticed that and came to help you. Soon the two of you had pulled out the net to see it was okay, but soon the IIu had grabbed the other side thinking, you were all playing and game sending you and neteyam falling into the water.

neteyam " we should of seen that coming"

y/n " yes we should of have but they are just being friendly and having fun ... ahh Neteyam" neteyam had soon flicked some water towards you, making you laugh as your hair was now back in your face after you pushed you hair back you soon got Neteyam back.

neteyam " oh you are in for it now"

y/n " hey you stand this water fight don't start something you can't handle" the pair seem to be very close to each other as they were enjoying each other company. The two of you soon swam back to shore neteyam and gotten back fist and soon help you up.

y/n " you know for use being he eldest I'm still happy we can find some fun in life"

neteyam " you are right we don't always heat to be responsible 24/7 and can enjoy some time off and not having to worry about everything"

y/n " I'm happy you are here neteyam you have made life here so fun"

neteyam " I'm happy to be here as well even due we have to leave home, you and everyone else has made life here well" you soon gave neteyam and smile making the man smile back towards you, lo'ak was lean against a tree.

neteyam " come join me" you soon nodded your head and soon sit with neteyam lean your head on his chest, neteyam was fine this this and accept it. Even due the two of you are not the a couple that did stop the both of you from acting like a couple, time and time again.

later that night

y/n " I really should be getting home thanking you for spending the day with me neteyam"

neteyam " anytime ma y/n"

y/n " see you tomorrow ma neteyam" you and Neteyam soon smile at each other neteyam and lean clsoe to you and soon kissed you, this actions had shocked you both but you soon kissed him back.

neteyam " good night ma yawne"

y/n " good night ma yawne" you and neteyam had kissed one more time before duo had parted way for the night, when you got home your family was looking at you it seems like they knew what had happened you didnt pay them attention and just joined them for a meal. After that day you and neteyam had started a courtships which was lie dating to humans, the two of you were so happy about the relationship.

[landofzero-archive]

Ibara Saegusa - Private Room Chapter 2

Writer: Nishioka Maiko

Season: Autumn

(Location: CosPro Conference Area)

(One week later)

Ibara: —Yes, yes. I believe I explained that many times the other day, right? I’ll send you the materials via email.

That’s right. I’ll contact that person from here.

No. Everyone makes mistakes, so please be careful in the future. Yes, yes. Thank you. Then, please excuse me.

Haah…… Is it an email this time? Uumm……?

—Ahh, come on! What the hell is going on with this situation……!

Problems occur here and there every day! Even when I fix one problem, two more problems pop up in different places at the same time!

This is nothing short of abnormal!

Another email? Yes, yes. What happened this time?

…… What? ‘My working hours have increased too much this month, so why don’t I take some time off somewhere?’ What are they talking about……?

It’s true that I’ve been busy this month due to filming and management duties, and for the past week or so I’ve been working overtime all the time in order to deal with problems.

…… However, there’s no way I could honestly take a day off in this current situation. This is a person who doesn’t know the situation, so……

(No…… Wait. It’s certainly not the time to take a long break.

Recently, the real situation of major agencies with black labor systems has been a hot topic…… (1)

The public will be looking for the next sacrificial company to pop up in the news in a chain reaction.

Under such circumstances, it would be too risky for me to collapse from overwork as the deputy director……)

Damn…… I have no choice. I’ll quickly finish my day off tomorrow and return to the front line as soon as possible.

(Location: Starmony Dorms (Exterior))

Aira: Uummm…… Copy and paste the inquiry number here. All I have to do is start the inquiry~

—The status is complete! It’s almost arrived! My oshi’s national tour disc♪

What a reli~ef. I thought it would arrive later. I have plenty of time before I go to bed, so I’m gonna enjoy this to the fu~llest today.

That’s why I bought a lot of sweets and drinks. I won’t be leaving my room after today……!

Nazuna: O~i, Aira-chin. Isn’t it dangerous to walk while looking at your phone~?

Aira: Ah, Nito-senpai! Sorry. I couldn’t help but wonder if my package had arrived. Ehehee.

Nazuna: Package? Oh, were you tracking your courier package?

I understand why you’re worried about its status, but it’s still dangerous. By the way, what kind of package are you getting?

Aira: It’s the national tour disc for my favorite idol! I’ve been looking forward to its release!

Right now, my roommates Sakuma-senpai and Tenshouin-senpai are away at a long-term location shoot.

So even if I make noise, I won’t bother anyone, and I think I’ll have a good time at my solo viewing party.

I’m planning to go back to my room and start right away— hm?

Huh? Is there some kind of contractor at the dorms right now?

It looks like there are long pipes being brought in and large trucks going in and out. Outsiders also seem to be wandering around? Is there something going on?

Nazuna: Ahh…… Come to think of it, I heard that there was a problem with the water pipes on our floor and that the repair work begins today.

Aira: Ehh!? Construction!?

Th-This can’t be happening~…… Even though I just wanted to enjoy my disc quietly today~……

Nazuna: Ah. But from what I heard, the construction work will be done in the morning. Aren’t they just doing the demolition work now?

So I think we can have some quiet time after this~

Aira: Wh- that’s good news……♪ Then I don’t have to worry! See ya, Nito-senpai. I’m gonna pick up my luggage right away!

Nazuna: Alright, have fun. Bye~♪

(Location: Starmony Dorm Room (Eichi, Rei, Aira's Room))

Aira: I’m back~☆

– Even though I said that, Sakuma-senpai and Tenshouin-senpai are away for a few days due to long-term location work so there’s no way I’d get a reply.

In the end, I feel a little lonely without my seniors……

Well, it can’t be helped. It’s work. And that’s why I can watch discs without hesitation.

Ah, that’s right! I have to open the package right away! I have to be careful not to damage the package inside……

Uwaai♪ As expected of the first limited edition! There’s lots of bonuses!

Arrange the goods and discs neatly~. Take a photo! Alright! I’ll upload it to SNS later♪

Then, let’s finally have the viewing party for today’s main event—

Hmm? My face feels a little sticky. Maybe there’s still some foundation left over from work this morning……?

It’s hard to lie down in bed like this. I’ll wash my face before the viewing party.

Once I start watching it, I don’t want to be distracted by anything else. I have to be fully prepared!

…… Huhh? Even though I’ve turned the faucet all the way, the water isn’t coming out…… Isn’t that weird?

It was normal until this morning. It doesn’t look like there’s anything particularly wrong with the lower pipe.

Could it be that the water in the room is off because they’re doing repair work on the water system……?

Ehh? That’s a problem~……! I just wanted to wash my face and have a watch party.

Get the water flowing! Hey, hey!

—Eh!? The handle of the faucet came off!? UWAWAWAWAWAWA!? THE WATER’S GUSHING OU~T!?

W-Wait a minute! Can someone please stop thiiiiiiiiis!?

---

TL NOTES:

Black labor systems are systems where corporations operate with exploitative working conditions or a toxic company culture. They typically hire lots of young workers only to then force them to work large amounts of overtime without overtime pay (hence why Ibara doing so much overtime could cause a scandal for CosPro).

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[thebisexual-cousin]

Damage Control

Warnings: NWH Spoilers; Peter being forgotten(not by reader lol); canon events of NWH; Normal sad Marvel

Pairings: Peter P x Asgardian!Reader; Loki x Sister!reader; Thor x sister!reader

Summary: After the events of No Way Home, Y/N and Loki are tasked to go to Midgard to repair damages, and a blue and red character is surprised by a certain someone.

Word Count: 798

Content: Maybe a whole fic.. more than a Drabble at most.

Staring at my tablet, they showed the damage caused on Earth. "Princess Y/N, you're needed by King Tho-," I heard a maid say, not finishing when she saw me watching the news. "Princess Y/N, you know the news is bad for your mental mindset." The same maid mentioned while cleaning up my vanity. "Oh alright..." I put my tablet down on my nightstand and stood.

I wiped my sweaty palms on my dress and walked out the door to head to the throne room. Loki was also walking out of his chambers. His face lit up in mischief. "Hello sister, do you know what this oaf wants?" "No, Loki, I do not, and don't call him that, you know he hates it." I said calmly, with a bit of humor.

Thor was pacing back and forth, frantically, might I add. "Ahh..you're finally here." He announced clapping his hands. "Brother, what is needed from us?" I asked after I curtsied before him.

"Well Y/N, I need you to go to Midgard and help with the damage." He stated." Ok.. and why is Loki here?" "He is needed by Doctor Strange for some multiverse issues." Loki rolled his eyes, but underneath, I knew he was pleased by being needed.

"Alright, you ready to go now Loki?" I asked him, with a smirk on my face. I transformed quickly into trendy midguardian clothes and started racing Loki to the Bifrost bridge. I made it there first, Loki showed up seconds later. "Princess, Prince." Heimdall bowed.

He turned the sword and Loki and I were transported to Midgard." Alrighty, Thor is sending me to the Sanctum in Greenwich." I sighed. I turned to look at Loki and hugged him. "Be safe and don't do anything I would do," Loki said as he returned my hug and kissed my forehead.

"You too brother. See you soon." I said. I took out my phone that Thor gave me before I left. I put in the address "43-25 43rd St. Long Island City, New York." Not wanting to attract attention to myself, I decided that walking was better than teleporting.

*20 Minutes Later*

I looked at the building, or what was left of the building. Noticing the fire, the rubble, and the lack of civilians, I got to work. I closed my eyes, my palms out, and called my magick forward. I felt the surgery of power flow through my veins.

I started removing water from the lake nearby. I put out the fires easily, despite the resistance of my magick collecting the water. Looking ahead, I chose not to rebuild the building. I put the remaining rubble in the lake, thanking the element for allowing me to control it.

I called my magick back into me, keeping it secured. I saw a shadow in my peripheral. It was blue and red. The colors were easily recognizable. Peter! I thought. To assure myself that it was Peter, I called out his name.

"Peter! Hey Peter!" The figure quickly turned around and swung toward me. "You-you know my name?" He asked, looking confused. "Um yeah...you're Peter right?" "Yeah, I-I am." He chuckled.

"Why were you confused?" I asked. "It's a long story." He explained. I looked at my phone. No calls from my brothers. "I have time." "Oh-uh, ok. Well, my apartment is a couple of blocks away from here." I followed him back. We reached the complex, found his loft, and unlocked the door with his keys.

He allowed me in. I took in the simple aspect of the small space. I walked over to his desk, noticing the sewing machine and scraps of his suit. I looked closely at the coffee cup, "we are happy to serve you" it said.

I looked behind me, noticing Peter standing there with a pained look on his face. "So...what happened?" I asked, getting straight to the point.

He poured everything from the government accusing him, to his aunt passing, to now a world not knowing that Peter Parker exists. "Oh, Pete," I said, not wanting to cry. "Anyways, how do you still know who I am?" I wiped my eyes before the tears could fall.

"I wasn't on Earth when this happened. I was up in Asgard after the final battle." "Oh." He said simply.

We sat in silence, until my phone went off, signaling that Loki was done with his mission. I looked up at Peter, who was lost in his mind.

I leaned forward and put a kiss on his cheek. "I have to go back, but my number is on the table if you ever need to talk, ok?" I softly smiled. He nodded and kissed my cheek back. "Thank you." "Always." I smiled and teleported back to the meeting point.

[nicohischierz]

OH MY GOD I LOVE WHATEVER YOURE VOOKING-

because then jack is all pissed bc “that’s my best friend and my little sister” and he’s ranting to quinn and luke about it. but then quinn decides, “hey, when’s the last time we talked, because i feel like she should’ve told us” and looks in his phone log and realized that he’s not called his little sister in almost 2 years. barely sends her texts. so then he gets into the other twos heads fianlly and he’s like “we’ve been shit siblings” and they make up and all is well.

OR

you go the route of jack being unfairly puse doff taht he wasn’t informed abt the relationship, only for sister to pop off and be like “only people that would deserve to know are my siblings, and that certainly isn’t you, at least not anymore!”and jacks all sad and butt hurt, goes to the other two, and is like “can you believe this?” only for ellen to find out about three argument, realize just how bad their relationship really got, and she smacks sense into the three of them.

AHH I LOVE BOTH THESE IDEAS!!

like jack's ranting to the two of them when he gets to his hotel room and then luke see's them during the game and he's like "eww wtf". but quinn is like "she would've told us right? like she's our sister we always tell each other things," and he scrolls through insta to see that they started posting each other roughly two years ago and that's the last time he sent her a message. luke sent her a message three years ago and so did jack. so now the three of them realise just how shitty they've been and they recruit trevor to try to help repair the relationship which ends up with him going off on the three of them. but they make up and all is well.

but the second scenario

he starts yelling at her in the house and then she's like "well if you remembered the person you share your birthday with then maybe you would've known!" that leaves jack stunned so she goes to her room and jamie makes jack leave whilst trevor tries to comfort his gf. now the three brothers are shocked at this new relationship and make the mistake of asking ellen and jim which makes both of them say "yeah, they're just so perfect for each other," because both parents don't know the brothers haven't spoken to their sister in years. but it gets revealed accidentally by trevor when the hughes parents visit and he tells them how much of a dick jack was to his sister. so when the devils play the canucks ellen is furious with her sons and makes them apologise, this was done with some heavy threatening.

[animetrash101blep]

Repairing the cracks

So I have an idea either I'll write a fan fic and draw bits of it or I'll draw all of it or just a fan fic but here is the idea, Prismo Zaps Fionna, cake and Simon to his cube. He tells them they made a mess of the timeline and the higher up are demanding they fix the other timelines so he sends them off to fix the things they broke. So for example putting baby Fin back and other things I'd make up. I've written a bit down already Here's a few scenes I definitely want to draw. Oh it would be Simon x Fionna too.

(The three of them after processing they had been pulled out of their world to Prismos cube again turned to him and scarb confused.)

Prismo: I'm sure you're wondering why I bought you here..

Cake: duuuuh I was enjoying a cat nap

Simon: and I was in therapy

Fionna: and I was getting ready for a date

Simon: what ?

Fionna: what ?

(Much later in winter kings world)

Simon: so you have a date ?

Fionna: ah yeaaa kinda...so therapy? How's that going ?

Simon: oh uh...it's going hah...so what's his name ?

Fionna: uh her name is Simone...

Simon: Simone?...wait it's not-

Fionna: anyway! It wasn't really a date, cake kinda jumped into her ice cream cart before when she was a cat and disappeared into your world and I stuck my head in, I offered to get coffee to make up for it.

Simon:...Fionna...*smirks knowingly*

(Same universe trying to prevent the death of winter king because he's supposed to be defeated by that world's Finn)

Future Fionna: *grabs past Fionna as shes about to grab the duplicated crown*

Past Fionna: AHH! *Goes to take out her sword but she stops when she sees herself* huh?...I thought I was supposed to be the only Fionna..." *Sounds disappointed.*

Future fi: don't worry we are I'm just from the future...*sigh* listen whatever you do when you save Simon and the Winter king don't touch his crown, just grab Cake and Simon and get out of there.

Past fi: what? But what about him showing Simon-

Future fi: there is no way to avoid the curse...just take this crown get your Simon and cake and get out, got it ?

Past fi:...got it..

Future fi: *let's get go*...oh and he's not what he seems to be, I'm doing you a favour by telling you this but don't kiss him.

Past fi: *blushes* we kissed him?..

Future fi: don't do it !

Past fi: why not ?? You did !

Future fi: and he turned to dust so just don't do it !!

Past fi: what ?

Future fi: I hate being here longer than I need to be *pushes the dupe crown to her past self chest* save Simon and get out of here...

[drasin]

I recently got myself Mando, and today Tech came home! ^^ Wrecker is also on the way, so I did a little photo shoot while waiting for him! (I made them a little couch :>) There is a little Din x Tech here, just for the fact that I only have them now, but hey I quite liked it :P

If you have any ideas for poses you can freely drop them in my ask box, I'll be happy to play around further ^^

And here's the story of their meeting:

"Wrecker do you copy?" "Yes- but the connection is terrible- where are you Tech?" "I have no idea, my escape pod fell somewhere in the woods, I'm sending you my coordinates." "Okay- I got it. I'll be-" "Wrecker? Can you hear me? Dammit!"

"Fucking junk… Huh? Is anyone there?"

"Don't move." "Hey! I don't wanna any trouble Mandalorian." "Drop your weapon." "You first."

"Sorry I don't have time for this." HIT "Hey-!"

"Shit!"

"Last warning. Surrender imperial clone." "Wait no, I'm not with the Empire." "Do you now?" "Yes, me and my squad deserted." "Wait a minute, are you from Squad 99?"

"Yes, do you know us?" "I know Hunter. Well mostly from the stories of someone close to me." "I hope they are positive stories." "Yes sorry, you can get up, I'm not a threat to you."

"Thanks, in that case let's get to know each other better." "What?"

"NO, put it back in!" "Something wrong?" "I don't show my face, and it will be better if I don't see yours either." "Well if that's what you want."

"Let's start again. I'm Tech." "You can call me Mando." "Nice to meet you Mando, and sorry for attacking you." "It's okay, forgive me for tripping you up a little." "All good."

"So do you live here Mando?" "No, my ship was pulled down by gravity. It got damaged a bit, which is why I'm stuck here for now." "So we are in the same situation. The initial readings were completely different, it surprised me too." "Are you here alone?" "Ah no, I have a friend. He should join me in a while." "We can wait at my ship if you want. There's better communications there." "Sure, I can certainly help you repair it." "Thank you." "My pleasure."

"Ahh!" "What happened?" "My leg, I think I must get hurt more in the fall than I thought." "Let me help you."

"Are you sure it's okay?" "Sure no problem, I'm the one who knocked you over." "Thanks." "Don't mention it."

[prettyinpwn]

Sea Grunks Episodes w/Ford AI - A Quick Guide

I think at least a few people have mentioned using my Ford AI to create Sea Grunks episode pitches or ideas, and an anonymous asker recently asked if the AI could write both Stan and Ford dialogue, to which I’d promised I’d show them how to get it to do so. So here is a quick guide on doing the above!

First, the Ford AI link: https://beta.character.ai/c/t3cg_MbwqZMPzfpGPM6q0fp_jxRe6b2B0patg1bhAnw

For anyone interested in using it for these purposes, I’ve worked out a way to get the AI to work in this manner in story/screenplay-like format to help you out, and not just as a chatbot with “Ford”.

The AI needs narrative hooks and examples of dialogue to work this way. Note that I’ve trained it so far to recognize the following ways of indicating types of text:

Narrative or action or thoughts in asterisks, e.g: *Stan smiled at Ford.* or *Stan was wondering why Ford looked so nervous. He’d only said that he'd had a dream about a one-eyed triangle. Why was that so bad?* Dialogue with names and colons:

Stan: Hey, Ford, wanna go steal a pot of gold from some of those leprechaun jerks?

Ford: *Sighs.* Stan, we came here to study leprechauns, not rob them.

---

Here is a sample beginning hook to chat to the AI to get it started on Sea Grunks stuff. Feel free to change Stan and Ford’s opening dialogue as you see fit, though:

*It's a warm, sunny day as Stan and Ford Pines, twin brothers, prepare to set off on their ship the Stan-O'-War II across the world to track down and study supernatural anomalies outside of Gravity Falls. Stan and Ford were separated for thirty years after Ford disappeared in an interdimensional portal, and they still haven't fully patched their sibling relationship up, but they both secretly hope this trip will do just that.*

*Stan and Ford are currently loading the boat with supplies. Ford is still struggling with guilt over his role in almost ending the world and having had to erase Stan's memories to save the world. Stan struggles with guilt over having been the reason Ford got lost in the multiverse for thirty years, and though he's recovered most of his memories, some things are still a little foggy. But both twin brothers are willing to start the long and difficult road towards being close again. This boat trip isn't just a journey across the world, it's also a journey back towards each other.*

Stan: *Breathes in a deep breath of fresh air, then sighs it out.* Ahh... been a long time since I saw the ocean. *Stan turns to Ford, who is currently double-checking their food supply.* Feels a little like home, don't it?

Ford: *Smiles at Stan. He notices that Stan looks the happiest he's been since... well, since they were kids, working on repairing the original Stan-O'-War on the New Jersey beach together all those years ago.* As an example, here were some of the possible responses I got from the Ford AI after sending the above:

(The above is an example that it sometimes forgets to note who is speaking. Though based on context clues, you can tell this is probably Stan’s dialogue.)

And some more examples of me passing the ball back and forth with the AI:

(the above is an example of how sometimes it’ll give you a narrative nudge to follow)

And so on and so forth...

---

Final Notes:

-The AI is great at writing Ford’s dialogue because this is technically a Ford AI. Sometimes it’s not so good at picking up Stan or other characters’ dialogue quirks. Sometimes its ability to write characters with nuance blows my mind a little, though.

-In my own test, it has been able to handle/remember up to five characters in a scene or so, but could handle more possibly. Though, it usually only will write dialogue for two characters most at a time in its replies to you.

-Sometimes it will get caught in a loop. It’ll really want to follow a narrative thread you’re trying to get the AI to get past, so sometimes you have to give it a nudge. Say you’re done with a scene of Stan and Ford arguing, but the AI keeps bringing up Ford being salty about the argument for far too long, you can be like, *Ford forgave Stan, at least enough to stop ruminating over their argument for the moment.*. Usually the AI takes the hint, then.

[aeoki]

School Festival ☆ Tamayori’s Haunted Dollhouse - Chapter 11

Location: Yumenosaki Grounds (School Festival) Characters: Sora, Natsume & Tsumugi

Tsumugi: Hmm… He’s not here, either.

There are heaps of people everywhere and there aren’t any places without people at all.

We searched every nook and cranny of the school building but we couldn’t find him, so we’re now here outside, though.

I wonder where Sora-kun went. I’m worried~ Now that it’s come to this, shall we summon him using the school intercom?

Natsume: It pains me to agree with you but that’s the only choice we have leFT. Let’s gO, Senpai.

Tsumugi: Here, Natsume-kun.

Natsume: ………… *Pinches Tsumugi’s outstretched hand*

Tsumugi: Ow ow ow! Natsume-kun! Why did you pinch my hand!?

Natsume: HM? You didn’t hold your hand out because you wanted me to pinch iT?

Tsumugi: Don’t make a face that says there couldn’t have been any other reason other than that! Uuu~ We wouldn’t have lost Sora-kun if we held hands, right?

There are also a lot of people here. It would be awful if you were to also get lost in the crowd, Natsume-kun.

That’s why I thought we should hold hands… Geez, don’t blame me if you get lost then.

Natsume: I’d say the same to yOU, Senpai. Since you tend to unconsciously wandER.

Tsumugi: I didn’t do that on purpose – the crowd was pushing me in all sorts of directions~

Natsume: Yeah, yeAH. …HmM?

Tsumugi: What’s the matter, Natsume-kun? Did you find Sora-kun?

Natsume: No. I thought it was rather noisy over theRE…

Tsumugi: Oh, now that you mention it. I wonder if there’s a special event.

Hmm~... Ah, I remember now. I heard “RYUUSEITAI” will be doing a hero show so that probably explains the crowd of people.

Natsume: I’m simply curious but why do you know thAT, Senpai?

Tsumugi: I saw it on the pamphlet. Look, it’s written here that “RYUUSEITAI” will be doing a hero show near the grounds in the afternoon.

Natsume: AhH… I completely missed thAT. The pamphlet does have information on what each unit will be doing for the festivAL.

OhH, “RYUUSEITAI” are also doing patrols for the “School Festival”, hUH. I thought the Student Council would be doing that, sO I didn’t approach thEM.

Kanata Nii-san is in “RYUUSEITAI” sO it might be a good idea to send a message to him and ask if he’s seen Sora on his patroLS.

HmM… The issue is whether I can actually get in contact with hIM.

Tsumugi: Huh? You don’t have Shinkai-kun’s contact details?

Natsume: No, I dO. Kanata Nii-san's phone is often submerged in water, sO I thought I might not be able to contact him if his phone is away for repaIR.

Tsumugi: Ahaha… Shinkai-kun often bathes in the school fountain, doesn’t he? Does he like water that much~?

Sora: Master~? Senpai? HaHa~♪ It really is you guys!

Natsume: Sora~...♪ Ahh, I’m so glad we found yOU!

Sorry for leaving you aloNE. You must have felt lonely because you were separated from us, rigHT?

Let’s hold hands so we won’t be separated agaIN.

Sora: Okay, Master~...♪

Tsumugi: Uuu, you pinched me when I tried to hold hands with you, but you’d want to hold hands with Sora-kun of your own accord!?

Sora: HiHi~♪ Senpai, let’s all hold hands! Master~ has a happy “colour” when the three of us hold hands!

Tsumugi: Oh, is that true? Then, Sora-kun, let’s hold– Wait, what are you holding? Candy?

Sora: Yes! I got it from the Sea Onii-san!

Tsumugi: The Sea Onii-san…? Oh, that must be Shinkai-kun. I see you were just with him.

Sora: HuHu~♪ The Sea Onii-san looked after Sora when he got lost~

Master~, Senpai, Sora is sorry!

Sora felt really sick from the big crowd and moved away from all the “colours”, but Sora ended up being separated from Master~ and Senpai.

Sora is really, really sorry!

Natsume: Don’t apologiSE, Sora. We’re the ones who should be sorry since we didn’t pay more attention to your neeDS.

Tsumugi: Yes. We’re to blame as we knew you didn’t like crowds but we failed to take the right actions. I’m sorry, Sora-kun.

Sora: No, Master~ and Senpai are always looking out for Sora! So Sora is always thankful!

There are a lot of kind people around Sora! That includes the Sea Onii-san! HeHe~♪

Natsume: AhH, you did mention Kanata Nii-san looked after yOU.

Hmm~ WherE’S Kanata Nii-san? I’d like to thank him for looking after yOU.

Sora: The Sea Onii-san went to defeat evil!

Natsume: HuH? What do you meAN? That’s not the sort of person Kanata Nii-san is– Oh, did you mean he’s preparing for the hero shOW?

Sora: Umm, it looks like there are some baddies who slipped into the school~ So the Sea Onii-san and his friends went to find them!

Tsumugi: What!? That’s scary! Will Shinkai-kun be fine on his own? Should we call for backup…?

Natsume: Senpai, were you listening to what Sora saID?

He said, “the Sea Onii-san and his friends”, sO Kanata Nii-san didn’t go on his oWN.

Sora: Yes! Sora also tried to go but…

The Sea Onii-san told Sora that Master~ and Senpai are probably worried about Sora, so Sora should meet up with them!

He also wanted to apologise because he couldn’t bring Sora over to where Master~ and Senpai were.

Natsume: …As I thought, I really do need to thaNK Kanata Nii-san.

Tsumugi: Natsume-kun, please allow me to thank him then, as well. Well, now that’s settled and we’ve found Sora-kun, what should we do from now on?

Natsume: HmM~ I think it’s about time the line for the “Butler Cafe” shortened, sO… let’s go back theRE.

Sora: HoHo~♪ Sora agrees! Let’s head to the “Butler Cafe” together ♪

Tsumugi: Natsume-kun, Sora-kun… Uuu, you’re both so kind! I’m so happy~♪

I’m not scared of Sora-kun treating me with kindness, but Natsume-kun is always cold to me so you’re scaring me a little.

Natsume: I seE… Then I’ll treat you coldly as you wiSH.

Sora, let’s leave Senpai here and go to the “Butler Cafe” ourselvES. Oh, Senpai, you’re an eyesore so don’t follow us, okAY? ♪

Tsumugi: How could you!? I’m sorry, Natsume-kun! I apologise so please take me with you~!

Sora: Senpai, that was Master~ joking~ So, it’s okay!

Natsume: Ohh, so you knEW, Sora. Senpai, you can follow us but we’re not holding hanDS.

Tsumugi: Oh, you~ That must be a joke as well, right? Sora-kun is holding candy in his other hand, so let’s hold hands, Natsume-kun ♪

Natsume: ………… *Pinches Tsumugi’s hand really hard*

Tsumugi: Gyaaaaa!? Ow ow, stop!

Sora: HaHa~♪ Senpai and Master~ are getting along so well~♪

(Ehehe, seeing their “colour” makes Sora relieved! We won’t be separated now that we’re holding hands! HaHiHuHeHo~♪)

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[lungsandlips]

“Ahh, you’re an angel.” Now it made sense why he wasn’t overpowered with the scent of paint when he came in. “Your boyfriend has good taste. Might send me a few pictures - I mean, if your boyfriend doesn’t mind.” There was an easy smile on his face. “A few days, yes. More like two weeks. It was going to be a little less but the shop is closed the tail end of the second week I was off anyway ‘cause they’re gonna repair some shit. That’s why I worked a couple extra shifts so I could help get these cars out that have been sitting before I took off. That okay with you? I figured I’d take some time off with you before you got really busy.”

Giving a little chuckle at the jump, Liam only settled in closer when Wes finished and turned around. It was so nice coming home to the other rather than to quiet and emptiness. Even days when he came home and Wes wasn’t there yet it still felt so much better. “It looks great, really. A lot brighter, cleaner. And I wouldn’t have been mad just ready to not smell wet paint again.” It wasn’t that he minded he just smelled oil and grease all day that other heavy smells sometimes gave him headaches. So far though he was okay. “Hat’s cute.” He commented before leaning in to steal a kiss. “Exhausting but I think I’ll make it. There’s only one car left in the backlog they need my help with and I think we can get it done tomorrow. Then I’m free for a bit.” Another kiss and then another. “Brought home food too, by the way.”

[ffuturefoundation]

@ravenmechanic​ did those post with question about their life during 2017 just before the year ended, and i wanted to answer the question too. i am just a little late with it (like i am with everything lately...)  anyway also tagging @laurel-jane-juspeczyk​ if that is okay, just bc it is me talking about my life and how things have been and yeah it’d be cool if both of you read it but also fine if not.

it’s under a read more, bc it is kinda long.

what did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? I drove a car! Which went much better than expected and while everything surrounding it isn't so great, i feel v good about the actual driving aspect. I also moved in with someone, just in a roommate capacity but that's still a big deal. I made cookies for the first time (that I can remember)!! I left therapy and felt somewhat ready about it for the first time (I'm used to being told to leave because they can't help me or things like that so this was a v nice change) And I got glasses, which I guess isn't really a thing I did but still was a v new thing. i can’t believe it has been less than a year?? it feels like i’ve always had them tbh.

did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Ha nope. Okay tbf I didn't really make any resolutions at all, it's more that I had goals for the year, namely getting a job and getting my driver's license, and I have failed at both and spent way way too much money on driving classes already. did anyone close to you give birth? Nope did anyone close to you die? Charlie died in the middle of January which was really difficult for me, because she just meant the world to me and it wasn't just a joke when I referred to her as the light of my life. I'm feeling okay about it now and I have different pets now, but she was really an amazing little creature and I wish she was still a part of my life what countries did you visit? The only country I have visited is France. I mean I've driven through two other countries and I've obviously been in the country my family is from and the one I live in, but that's it. so even counting all of that, it is only five countries, which does not feel like much at all (okay i have been in germany to grocery shop and buy clothes, as well so it isn’t like i’ve only driven through that. but i haven’t been anywhere in belgium besides just travelling through!! i don’t think i’ve even gotten out of the car there. i need to go there this year.) what would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? A job (i am joking, sort of). But mostly having someone to hug. Having some sort of physical contact with people, because I'm so tactile, and I just need physical affection and I can't get it. (This is honestly my biggest challenge in life which sounds so stupid, but yeah one of the biggest issues in my life has always been not having people to hug)

what dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? When Charlie died. Going on holiday with two of my friends. telling my friend about the csa stuff and then discovering a mouse in their apartment, that was really something (the tension was so thick and heavy, and then /hey you guys have a mouse/). Going to the zoo with my sister and niece, any day I was with them tbh.

what was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting more emotionally stable and healthy. I know I'm still a mess quite often, but I've never been as stable as I've been this year (at least not without being super dissociated and barely existing) Also it's the first year that I didn't actually consider killing myself, which is a huge deal. 

what was your biggest failure? Not getting a job

did you suffer illness or injury? Overall I've been pretty healthy

what was the best thing you bought? I impulse bought 12 puzzles in the middle of the night once, and honestly it's the best thing I did. I've gotten so much joy and calm and just a general feeling of achievement from those puzzles. 

whose behavior merited celebration? Uhm tbh my own, for continuing to try to achieve my goals whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I want to say my parents but they haven't been too terrible this year, I just find the fact that they exist horrible already.

where did most of your money go? Driving classes…. (We're definitely over 20000 DKK already and I still don't have a license)

what did you get really, really, really excited about? Oh boy, I got so into Spider-Man it is almost ridiculous. I also got excited about other things but my current interest in Peter Parker is some heavy special interest stuff, and it just makes me really happy tbh. i fell super hard for mcu peter parker cause he is such a sweet child, and then i read the ultimate spiderman comics, and i can confidently say that 1610 peter parker is my fave, he is such an anxious disaster that never knows what to do, i love him. (i mean 616 is also cool, though lbr he is an asshole (he is a nice one and never cruel but yk)) what song will always remind you of 2017? I guess it would probably be top of the world by Greek fire, because I listened to that so so many times for the Peter Parker fanvideo that I made (and also in general had it in my music playlist so yeah probably that one)

what do you wish you’d done more of? Written more, and practiced other things more as well. Just that I'd work harder on learning more skills, though I did still do that quite a bit, but it could have been more

what do you wish you’d done less of? Probably laying in bed (says me a person who is currently laying on the couch xD but the couch is a lot better than my bed tbh) how did you spend christmas? I spend Christmas Eve with my grandparents for the first time that I can remember and it was great! I'm so glad I got the opportunity to spend it with them. First Christmas Day I did nothing. And second Christmas day my sister came over so I spend a lot of time with her and my niece which was great.

what was your favorite tv program? The librarians, which is just so much fun and such a quality show. I can't recommend it enough. Also the expanse, which has great characters and is very interesting. And of course leverage like always, because it is the best show ever.

do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No what was the best book you read? I can't even remember what books I've read what was your greatest musical discovery? I don't know. I did start listening to more music though, which I think is a good thing, because I'm just getting more comfortable with it really (and just myself in general) what did you want and get? I feel more secure and free from my family

what did you want and not get? Someone to hug what was your favorite film of this year? Spider-Man homecoming. I saw it so many times it was ridiculous, and I just got completely obsessed with it which then started my interest in Peter Parker. The movie just brought me so much happiness. Though I'm now definitely at a point where I have quite some criticism about the movie. what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 23, and i didn't do anything special. Honestly I just read comics really xD fun fact though my entire family was together celebrating the birthday of other people and only my uncle bothered to call me and wish me happy birthday (3 people did text me though but still) and it wasn't even the actual birthday of those people whose birthday they celebrated...

what one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Being more financially secure how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? Long sleeved shirts with t-shirts over them. Also of course hoodies.

what kept you sane? Honestly my medication which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I was into Tom Holland for like two weeks, which was the strangest thing because I'm usually v much not into famous people because Idol worship is v much not my thing because everyone is fake anyway and they're mostly trained liars that I do not know. who did you miss? My sister. Also Charlie because she died and was the best animal ❤ who was the best new person you met? Idk I didn't meet anyone that I'm really close to tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. Plans, goals and reputation don't matter. Just live your life in a way that makes you happy and content.

[kageprountranslated]

Kagerou Daze Anthology Novel Ch. 2 - Locked Up With a Classmate

Locked Up With a Classmate

Author: Kōta (こーた) | Illustrator: Hanasaki Manio (花咲まにお)

The incident occurred only a few weeks after I became a high school student, in the season where the smell of spring still remains.

When I asked myself why it happened, I was so upset that I couldn’t even answer. The view outside the window is dim, and before long it will be pitch black. And on top of that, it seems that the electricity is broken since I’ve been pressing the switch for a while with no sign of it working.

……Why did this happen?

I held my head. Ahh, I think it’s pretty rare for me to be holding my head like this, but that’s how different the nature of this “current situation” is.

But it’s okay because there’s a solution. With my heart murmuring, I look at her, wearing her red scarf, as she handles her cell phone.

“Um, Shintaro……”

“Oh, are you going to contact someone?”

“Well…… about that”

Why is she avoiding eye contact? She’s staring with unpleasant premonition in her eyes. And that brief comment is all she said.

“My cell phone, I forgot to charge it…… the battery is dead.”

While pointing at her phone’s pitch black screen that she turned toward me, Ayano makes an awkward smile. And our only remaining hope breaks, making a shattering noise.

……Now, if you asked me what the heck happened, since I’ve calmed down a little bit I may be able to answer.

To put it simply, I am locked up in a room with my classmate Ayano Tateyama next to me. We are currently, in the present tense, trapped alone together.

Going back in time a little earlier today, after school.

Ayano had stepped up to carry some teaching materials to a certain room. Apparently it’s the job of Ayano’s father, who’s a teacher at this school, but since he seems to be busy lately, he begged her to help him and carry it. That’s why, today, Ayano told me she wanted to walk home together but couldn’t.

I had wanted to go home early, but I followed Ayano, wondering if she wanted me to keep her company. By no means was I plotting to go home together.

And now I was trapped. What does it mean?

“Ayano, you said your cell phone died…… But were you able to contact anyone first?”

“I tried to send an email to my dad because I couldn’t call him, but I lost power immediately after I sent it, so I wonder if it was able to send properly……”

“I see…”

A small room. Alone with Ayano. Unfortunately when I tried to ask someone for help, I forgot that I left my phone at home today. Ayano has her phone so tried to contact someone, but as she said, it seems the charge has run out.

“The teaching materials, I was asked to bring them and Shintaro came too.”

“Well that’s, I’m feeling this mood.”

“Fufu, Shintaro you’re so kind.”

“......I don’t think I’m kind.”

When I said that, Ayano slowly turned her face down. And while listening to my situation she lets out a voice saying, “Shintaro…… you’re angry at me, right?”

“Huh? We didn’t get into this situation because of any ill will, and I have no reason to get angry with you.”

“Oh so, Shintaro is kind after all!”

“No, it’s not that…… that, why are you about to cry like that!”

“It’s because of me…… uhh, my dad warned me about the door.”

Apparently the doors of the “Second Science Preparation Room” aren’t built very well, and once closed often can’t be opened from the inside. Ayano forgot to tell me this, and I, who didn’t know, closed the door.

It seems that this time they’ve finally decided to repair it properly but…… repair it sooner.

“We can’t do anything. Let’s stay still, ‘kay?”

“...... yeah.”

I couldn’t just sit on the dusty floor and next to the pile of cardboard dust that neighbored me.

I opened the window, lightly flinging it ajar, and sat down on the floor side-by-side with Ayano. We’re at a distance where our shoulders bump. ……It’s close.

“Ehehe, but it’s good that the person I got locked up with is you, Shintaro.”

“......Oh.”

I’ll reply curtly.

At this time I agree, It’s nice to be locked up with Ayano. But it’s embarrassing to think about, so I’ll never say it out loud.

And then I notice, outside the window it’s totally dark. It seems a lot of time has passed since I started trying to find a way out.

“Well, it’s getting darker.”

“Yeah, I wonder if my dad got the email…… I hope he comes to get us out.”

“Isn’t it a little too dark in here?”

“There’s no way to turn the electricity on. If we could get it on, someone even from a distance might notice that we’re in this room”

“Say, Ayano.”

“There aren’t many people around here, I tried yelling out a while ago but as expected it was no use……”

“Ayano, tell me, are you scared of the dark?”

“Hm? I’m not particularly scared of it.”

“You’re putting on a brave front! Look, let’s talk about something bright and fun!”

“......Shintaro, is it possible,”

I felt Ayano’s gaze with the words, “Are you scared?” My shoulders jump.

“I-I-I, I’m not scared! I’m just scared that you’re scared!”

“Then, let’s take advantage of this dim atmosphere and talk about horror!”

“Huhh!?”

When I turned to Ayano, her face was at point-blank range. She’s staring at me with a fearless smile.

H-horror!? Scary stories!?

“Well. One night……”

“Uwaaaaaaaaaa!?”

As soon as Ayano started talking, I raised my voice and covered my ears. I can’t deal with horror in this situation!!

“I-I-I I’m not scared, ‘kay, don’t misunderstand!?”

“What’s that!? Shintaro! There’s a figure outside the window!”

“Gyaaaaaaaaaa!?”

“Eh, wait Shintaro!?”

I think I was in a panic at this time. No, I wasn’t thinking about it. I’m in a big panic.

“It’s a joke Shintaro! Calm down!”

“Window!? Where!? Where’s the figure!?”

“That’s why it’s a joke! Uwawa!”

I was so surprised and horrified that I hid behind Ayano’s back. A boy hiding behind a girl’s back, there’s no doubt that if my little sister saw me right now she’d say, “my brother is pathetic,” but I guess that’s not the case for now.

“Shintaro! There’s no figure! It was a joke!”

“J-, joke……?”

“Yes, a joke! So calm down! It was just a fail at making fun of you!”

So I discover it’s a joke and finally calm down.

What a joke……!

“Ah, ahaha, I knew from the beginning that it was like a joke and I wasn’t surprised or scared……”

“Then why are you hiding behind my back?”

“Th-, that’s…… no just, don’t make weird jokes anymore!?”

Ayano looks at me replying “yes yes” from over her shoulder. Just one word.

“Shintaro, behind……!

“Uwaaaaaaaaaaaa!?”

What!? Is there something behind me!?

“Well, I’m kidding…… but……. Shintaro you’re funny, too funny, bufufu.”

Perhaps she’s holding back laughter, her shoulders shaking while she holds her stomach. But, in the end she couldn’t stand it and bursts into full laughter.

“Y-, you, I told you to stop making weird jokes didn’t I!? Don’t laugh!”

“I’m sorry! I won’t laugh anymore…… fufuhaa.”

“You’re laughing!!”

This is flat out scary without a joke. There’s nothing to laugh about.

“Ahh, I laughed. ……So, why is Shintaro still hiding behind me?”

“Eh!? No, th-,that stuff you said! Is it okay for me to leave now!? It’s okay to go, but…… there really wasn’t anything behind me!?”

“There really wasn’t anything!”

“Is that true? It was really just a joke!?”

“It’s okay! It was really a joke!”

“...... alright.”

Slowly slowly, take myself away from behind Ayano. Alright, it’s really a joke.

—Basasaa!

“Heee!? Ayano! Ayano! Something was outside! Something was outsiiiiide!”

There was a noise, and something big crossed the window. I buried myself into ayano’s back, hugging her instead of hiding, not so subtle this time.

“...... I think it was just a bird this time…… Shintaro? Are you okay?”

“I’m not okay! This isn’t fun anymore! I’m scared! It’s terrible!!”

“No way Shintaro was so scared……”

Ayano took my hand that hugged her and asked, “are you okay?” as she gently stroked it. But I immediately shake my hand and let go of Ayano. As usual I shook her off.

Ahh, I’m sure I have a real pathetic facial expression now. I don’t want Ayano to see me like this.

“It’s okay. Because I’m by Shintaro’s side, forever.”

“So rest assured, I’m not scared,” she said with a smile.

“...... Ayano…… aren’t you scared?”

“I guess if I’m feeling anything, it’s scared. But somehow it’s okay since I’m with you, Shintaro. Ah, is my feeling of wanting to protect scaredy-Shintaro overpowering it now?”

What she says is alleviating my fear.

“Wait a minute, I’m only scared because you’ve been saying weird things…… No, I’m not scared, I’m absolutely not scared.”

*“I’m sorry about that, I’m scared that Shintaro is cute.”

“That’s why I’m not scared and don’t tell a man he’s cute!”

“Now, that’s not right! I wasn’t saying that! I said ‘scared’!”

(*Translator’s note: Shintaro believed Ayano said she was scared he was cute but she is saying that she said she was scared he was scared. In Japanese the words “cute” and “scary” sound similar, being “kawaii” and “kowai”)

“Ah, that’s…… Just my imagination, it was in my imagination! W-, well it can’t be helped, so it’s okay to be protected only for today! But I’m not particularly scared!”

“Good grief, Shintaro, you're really not straightforward.”

As she says that, she looks up at my face from below.

“Sh-, shut up! Only today, only today I’ll protect you, that is, you, Ayano.”

“Eh? Shintaro, what?”

“A-, Ayano, what if you were also having a hard time? If I can do it…… I’ll help you.”

Why did I say that?

When I heard that Ayano wanted to protect me, I wondered if I could do something for her too. My words were very small, but Ayano seemed to hear them. She very happily said, “it’s rare for Shintaro to be defeated.” ……I’m not defeated.

“That’s right.”

After thinking for a moment she muttered, “I don’t want to involve someone who’s important to me if it’s dangerous,” with a serious look on her face.

Ahh, she’s that kind of person. Worrying more about others than herself. “Because it’s my happiness,” I remember her saying once while laughing, so you really……

“But thank you Shintaro, I’m happy with those words alone.”

“Th-, that’s right.”

“Then, I have your permission, Shintaro. Only today I’ll be a hero for Shintaro!”

“Have it your way.”

“Hey, Shintaro.”

“What is it?”

“When you’re scared or lonely, you can hold my hand.”

“Huh? What’s that—......”

As if to block my words, the window shakes greatly. Apparently the wind is getting stronger. Of course, my body reacts to such a noise.

“Uh……. uh, Ayanoo.”

Now, please commend me for not screaming this time.

“Shintaro, your hand.”

“......”

“Shintaro, hand.”

“......”

“Shintaro, hand!”

“What about your hand!? Should I just hold it!?”

I grabbed Ayano’s hand tightly. It was warm.

“Whenever you feel alone and lonely, hold my hand anytime.”

Those words, what kind of meaning do they have?

With a little thought, I shook my head. I shook my head to deny Ayano’s words. When Ayano looked at me she looked lonely.

“I…… can’t you rely on me?”

“That’s not it. …… just.”

“Just?”

Ayano tilts her head. I turned away from her.

“...... It’s because I’m a coward.”

Isolated words, I muttered in a very quiet voice.

—......It must have been a long time since we got trapped.

Still, there was no sign of help coming at all. What should I do? I was hungry and I wanted to take a bath.

“Achuu”

It was me who had such a small sneeze. As the window rattles, the wind seems to be strong outside. It’s chilly and I brace my body, as a scarf is wrapped around my neck gently.

“Ayano?”

“Fufu, isn’t it cold with this?”

Certainly not cold, but rather warm. But, this is……

“You’re cold right? Take it back.”

“That’s not good, you’re catching a cold Shintaro.”

“If you say that, what if you catch a cold instead!?”

“Fufu, thanks for worrying about me.”

“A-, also…… I-, I’m returning it anyway!”

I push the red scarf back to Ayano, but she totally refuses to take it. And suddenly, Ayano says, “ah, let’s wear it together!” which makes me jump.

Wear it…… together?

“Huh? What are you……!?”

When I realized the scarf was around my neck again, it was also around Ayano’s neck.

Wa-, wait one minute, two people wearing it together is the kind of thing that—!?

Two people and one scarf. Ayano’s body and face are clinging very closely to mine. It’s definitely warmer than before, but this is……!

“I need to move away from you!”

“Why? Isn’t it warm?”

“That’s not the problem!”

“So what’s the problem?”

“J-, just think for yourself!”

“Hmm—? Shintaro, you’re acting strange, aren’t you?”

“Shh-, sh, shut upp.”

I move my arm to untie the scarf, but when I do I hear the sound of my clothes and Ayano’s clothes rubbing together. I can’t move my body because I’m in such close contact with Ayano.

“Shintaro.”

“What?”

“If I’m asking you to wear it because you’re cold, I’m not wrong am I?”

I’m cold too. If anything, I want to wear the scarf exactly how it is.

“......I-, it can’t be helped. If you say it like that.”

“Fufu, thank you.”

It was in this way, we agreed to share one scarf. But, although we’re no longer cold, our current situation of being trapped remains the same.

“Ayano, are you okay? If you’re getting sleepy, do you want to sleep?”

“Yeah, maybe I’m a little sleepy…. Ah, maybe I should borrow Shintaro’s shoulders.”

“O-, oh. I understand.”

“Ehehee.”

Ayano rests her head on my shoulder.

“...... hey, Shintaro.”

With her face down and eyes closed, Ayano gently says my name. It was a small voice, but we’re so close together that I could clearly see she was saying my name.

“Hmm?”

“...... you called yourself a coward, what do you mean by that?”

I’m surprised. After saying “It’s because I’m a coward” Ayano had shut up. I thought she couldn’t hear me because I muttered it in such a quiet voice, but it seems to have reached her ears after all.

It’s regretfully too late to pretend I didn't say it. She already heard.

“That is…… that’s nothing, so forget about it. I’m a little upset.”

“I will never forget. I will absolutely never forget.”

Her crying voice spilled from her mouth. Why is she making a voice like that?

And this time from Ayano…… and almost every time words from Ayano, she clenched my hand tightly.

“Ayano, hand.”

“I don’t like it, I don’t want to let go.”

“Ayano?”

“I want you to tell me more about your true feelings, Shintaro.”

“...... what if I say I don’t like it?”

She raised her face. She looked like she was about to cry.

Ahh, this face isn’t going to be forgotten…… I think.

“That is, very sad.”

Still, I can’t say it, won’t say it. I’m too much of a coward to say my true feelings.

But the truth is, I want to tell Ayano everything. I don’t like being alone, and when I end up feeling lonely like I always used to, Ayano will accept me with a smile. But if that happens, I’ll become dependent on Ayano, and if I’m too dependent, I’m so scared that someday it will be time to say goodbye to each other.

Oh I’m really a terrible coward.

“I’m begging you, don’t worry about me.”

Don’t say any more kind words.

Once I depend on you, I can’t live without you.

“Shintaro, I want you to remember what I’m about to say.”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

I shake my head from side to side, like a little kid.

“Shintaro, listen?”

Ayano moves up a little and looks into my face from below.

“I don’t like it.”

I bury my face in the scarf. It smells like Ayano.

“Even if Shintaro lets go of this hand.”

“I don’t want to hear it!”

“I’m going to grab Shintaro’s hand as many times as I want!”

“Even if, this makes me look stubborn,” Ayano said such warm words with a smile.

“Aya-, nno……”

Ayano’s words alone makes me feel like I am overflowing. My whole body gets hot. My eyes get hot.

You see, I shouldn’t have listened. I didn’t want to listen because I thought she would say something happy to me, and of course she did. Why does she say such words to me? She’ll be taken advantage of for her kindness.

“Don’t say that kind of thing so casually.”

Everyone will eventually leave me. Seeing me, who can immediately derive the answer to any question; seeing me, who understands it all; even kind people will also leave me. And everyone looks at me with weird eyes.

Even Ayano, I’m sure just like everyone else……

“It’s not casual! Because Shintaro, I want to be with you forever!”

“Th-, that’s why…!”

“Shintaro, that’s why.”

I notice there. Ayano’s aura seems to be different than usual.

“Ayano, what are you saying……?”

“Shintaro, you’re insensitive to people’s feelings while saying that you understand everything. I’ll be with you, really.”

While holding her head, she mutters out something like a soliloquy.

Insensitive? Am I?

“I mean, I want to be with you forever.”

Ayano mumbled, a little embarrassed.

“It’s because Shintaro, I want to be with you forever.”

Ayano seems to be trying to say something about the meaning of the words she said. I’m sure since it’s Ayano, she’s giving me these words as a friend……

“That’s it, Shintaro.”

“What’s it?”

“Um…… the words I just said, I didn’t mean it in a friendship way.”

My idea that those were the words of a friend, were denied by her herself.

“Shintaro, Shintaro for me, is more than a friend.”

She stares at me. Ayano’s face is close. I find my heart is making a loud noise. I’m distracted by our close distance, I didn’t hear Ayano’s words well.

“For me, about Shintaro—......!”

It was at that time.

Tattattattatto, the sound of someone running echoes through the school.

Ayano’s word’s stopped halfway through the sound that I heard clearly.

“...... Shintaro, can you hear someone running?”

“I-, I-, I don’t care.”

A person of unknown character is running. I was so scared that my remaining determination was gnawed away. I forget about being embarrassed for now.

“I don’t think it’s my imagination.”

“What if it isn’t our imaginations!? Who’s running at this hour!? I-, isn’t it coming this way!? Uwaaaaaaaaa!”

“Shintaro!? Calm down a little, Shintaro! Awawawa!”

Who is running through the school at such an hour? Why would they need to run?

No way, no way could this be something paranormal……!?

“Ayano, I’m so scared that even you can’t help me! Hey, why are you so calm!?”

“I’m not really, but if I’m with people who are more scared than I am, I will keep calm……”

“Ayano, I’m certain the footsteps are coming this way!”

Suddenly, the footsteps stopped right in front of the door where we were trapped.

It’s over. They’ve come to take us from this world.

“Ayanooo!”

At this time, I couldn’t hear Ayano’s voice saying, “I wonder if someone came to help us?” I couldn’t think of such an idea at all. Losing my composure, I squeezed Ayano’s hand, which had been linked with mine for so long, with so much fear.

And, the door was opened.

“Hey, are you okay, Ayano!? I’m sorry I didn’t notice the email! It seems that the power was cut off this morning, so I just noticed……”

It was a man’s voice that I heard.

“Ah, Dad.”

As soon as I heard Ayano’s words, I felt frozen in place.

Think about it. This is a closed room, and we’re alone together, right now I’m wearing the scarf (two people sharing one scarf) with Ayano and holding hands together…… yeah, it’s no wonder that a misunderstanding would arise.

“What are you doing with Ayano, Shintaro Kisaragi?”

Did he ask that as a teacher, or as Ayano’s father? I immediately tried to get away from Ayano, but realized I couldn’t because I was wearing the scarf.

I move my arm to untie the scarf.

“You will not move without my permission, Shintaro Kisaragi.”

Yes, I understand not to move, not to move, so don’t make such a scary face, dad.

“Dad, it’s late! I was glad Shintaro was with me, and we can go home now!”

Ayano’s reassuring voice brought relief.

Ayano, look at your father's face because it’s not okay at all. I think I’ll be taken out of the world after all. “What were you doing in a closed room with Ayano? Answer quickly, Shintaro Kisaragi,” he says while glaring at me. Why are you calling me by my full name when we’ve known each other for a while!?

“Ah, it was a little cold so the two of us just warmed up together! Don’t get it twisted, Dad!”

I feel my face get hot as soon as I hear the words “the two of us warmed up”.

Certainly not wrong, not wrong, but……!

“Ayano, what are you saying……g! I’ve gotta ask you to be quiet for a minute! Stop saying weird things!!”

No matter what I say, Ayano doesn’t seem to understand the pinch we’re in as she replies, “I’m not saying anything strange,” with a question mark floating above her head.

…… and, why is her dad smiling so big?

“It was courageous to try to abandon my daughter in front of me without my permission, Shintaro Kisaragi. Now untie the scarf, stand in place, and raise both of your arms, Shintaro Kisaragi.”

Those words, I’ll just say I’ve never heard such a ridiculously dark voice.

In the end, I didn’t realize at that time that it would take a week to get rid of the misunderstanding of the situation.

And I was able to escape from the locked room safely (......it’s a miracle that I was able to survive that father though.) My mother, who was worried about me being home too late, and my sister, who was also worried said:

“My big brother is an idiot! I called your cell phone so many times!”

I’m at your mercy. I’m sorry little sis, that cell phone is in your big brother’s room.

In this way, the day Ayano and I had finally came to an end.

Well, I have an excellent memory, and the words Ayano tried to say are frozen in my mind.

“For me, about Shintaro—......”

At that time, I didn’t know what the end of that sentence would have been. The words between me and Ayano are hazy, and it doesn’t help that while we were locked up together she also said, “I wanted to take a picture of scaredy-Shintaro”......

“Why do you always go home with me?”

As usual, Ayano is back with me. Or rather, clinging to me as we walk home together.

“You want to go home together…… don’t you?”

“No, I’m not saying no.”

“Fufu, it’s not bad, is it?”

Ayano grabs my hand. Illuminated by the setting sun, our shadows emerged on the slope.

“I won’t let go of this hand, so don’t be afraid, Shintaro.”

“....... well, if that's the case, have it your way.”

That hand that I usually shake off, I just couldn’t do it this time for some reason.

What did you try to say the other day, should I ask again?...... I was wondering at that time.

“Ah, Dad.”

Lost in the words, I said, “eh,” and turned forward. Remembering that I was holding hands with Ayano, I built up a slow, unpleasant sweat.

…… that, I wonder what it was before this feeling.

“Good evening, now, are you going home?” the words that spilled from me were so clumsy.

“Hey, I’m trying to reach out to Ayano and Ayano…… that wasn’t Shintaro Kisaragi holding hands with her, right? That’s right, I’m on my way home now, it’s just a coincidence that I ran into you two. …… if you’d like, let’s walk home together, three people.”

It will take a long time to get over this misunderstanding with such an overprotective father……

That’s another story.

XXX

“For me, about Shintaro—......”

At that time, I thought I could finally confide my feelings. Then suddenly, I heard someone’s footsteps coming toward us.

I could have finished that sentence without worrying about it.

But when I heard the footsteps, a little silence drifted between me and him. Just a little. You could call it an instant. In that instant I thought about it.

‘What if I get rejected?’

“Haa, I’m sorry to say, I’m a hero of justice.”

I lie on my back in bed, thinking about the classmate who’s so special to me.

That classmate, I’m sure he thinks of me as only a friend.

“...... I don’t even think I’m a friend, though.”

I was terribly saddened by the words I muttered.

But lately he’s allowed me to be closer to him. We eat lunch together, go home together, and we push our desks together for him to teach me how to study. And that relationship, I don’t want to break it.

If I say my feelings, the relationship may break. Isn’t it better not to say it if it will break it? At that time, when such a thing came to mind, I swallowed those feelings, and turned toward the footsteps of someone running.

He calls himself a coward, but the coward is me.

While asking him to tell me his true feelings, it’s me who can’t say my own true feelings.

I’m afraid of being separated from him, I’m afraid of this relationship breaking, and I’m a pitiful coward.

“...... let’s go to sleep.”

No matter how I think of it, there’s no answer besides that I’m a pitiful coward. It’s hard to get an answer when you’re studying it, it’s bad because the answer is immediately clear in such a case.

I’m okay. He and I aren’t going to be separated right now.

I still have time.

That’s why I’m okay. Let’s convey our feelings little by little.

I still have time.

I still have a lot of time.

So, let’s talk to him tomorrow. Let’s make lots of memories.

Tomorrow with him———......

Book Info | Ch. 1 | Ch. 2

[clairecrive]

can u make a nikolai x reader based on the song mr perfectly fine by taylor swift?

Mr Perfectly fine

A/n: Ahh, thank to you friend, I've been jamming to this song every day lmao Hope I've done it justice x Also, I've left out some parts of the lyrics to make it better fit the story.

(if you want, you can add yourself to my taglist here)

for my other masterlists, you can find them on my navigation page

Word count: more than 7K (ikik it took a life of his own, what can I say)

Warnings: bit of fluff, angst (like a lot), character's death, spoiler if you haven't read Siege and Storm

Tagging: @jupiterandbutterflies (Thank you so much for your comment! I saw it and it made my day✨)

(I don't remember where I took this from so if you know pls lmk)

Most people knew of Nikolai Lanstov. He was a prince, the second born and the most charming. Most people knew him thanks to the countless rumours that went around at court: supposedly he was not of royal blood. "Sobachka" was what they called him.

No matter how though, everyone knew of the last Lanstov prince. But very little knew him.

Meeting him wasn't difficult. Since he had been of age, Nikolai had always been out of the Grand Palace and among people. He’d also volunteered to enlist in the first army, refusing any kind of special treatment and fought beside his brothers in arms in the infantry. That was part of the reason why everyone outside the court loved him so much.

Being Grisha meant that fighting in the Second Army was mandatory. Not that you minded. There was nothing you wanted more for your people than to finally be free. Also, that Shadow Fold needed to go and as the Darkling has always said, all efforts are necessary.

That’s how you met Nikolai the first time. Generally, the First and the Second Army were stationed in different parts of the campsite. Numerous quarrels between oprichniki and Grisha had rendered the separation necessary. However, you never liked crowds much and living in the Little Palace meant that you were always surrounded by people. So, every chance you had to draw away and be by yourself for a while, you took it. Also, being a Healer meant that you’d spent more time in your assigned tent taking care of soldiers than among them.

Word had gone around that everyone in need could come to you. Usually, you had been instructed by the Darkling that your powers were reserved for Grisha. However, what good was it to have the ability to cure people and only take care of a selected few that very rarely got seriously injured? Meanwhile, soldiers of the First Army often suffered from severe injuries, fatal gunshots or knife wounds. You could help them and possibly save their lives so why shouldn’t you?

That was why Nikolai found you one night. Sure at that point it was just another nameless soldier to you. He had never been in your tent before so you had never seen his face before. The boy whose arm he had draped on his shoulders though, was a usual visitor of yours.

“Oh, Petyr, what happened this time?” gesturing to his blond friend to lay him down on the table, you started gathering everything you needed. Not that you needed much but you had found out that Petyr was absolutely incapable of bearing having his bones or injuries in general repaired without having some kind of pain reliever before.

After a few tries, you came up with a herbal composition that dulled the pain but didn’t make him unconscious. Using kvas would mean that Petyr would be knocked out for a couple of hours. That would put him in trouble with his superiors.

“He’s a fool, that’s what happened.” The explanation came from his friend after he put him down gently. Despite his words, you could hear in his tone worry and guilt?

“If saving your life makes me a fool then go ahead and call me one,” Petyr huffed in pain.

“Who knew you were so brave, uh?” After quickly shredding the herbs you needed, you poured hot water on it and brought the cup to Petyr’s lips while helping him keep his head up.

“He’s the bravest of us all,”

“If I knew it took a bullet wound to make you hand out compliments so easily, I would have done it sooner.” Scoffed Petyr after sending you a thankful look.

“See? What did I tell you? A fool,” his friend said dramatically and you smiled amused at their playful banter.

“Let’s see what we’re dealing with, shall we?” You said out loud to warn both Petyr and his friend. Letting them know what was about to happen was best, your experience taught you. Both for the person on the table that could brace themselves for what was about to happen and for the person with him that was filled with worry and cautiousness. Oprichniki didn’t trust Grisha that much.

After assessing the damage, you let out a relieved sigh as the bullet had gotten through and it had not hit any major artery. It had already got infected though, so you knew it would be a painful one to treat.

“So, did you receive any letters lately, Pety?” You ask, suggestively wiggling your eyebrows while your hands cover the wound. You had your eyes closed to better focus but you were sure that he had rolled his eyes.

“Only from my mum.”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t write her back,” you said, opening your eye just in time to send him a glare.

“Ugh, not this again, y/n, please. Have mercy on me, I’m bleeding all over the table.” Petyr moaned making his friend snicker.

“You’re not bleeding all over the table and if you didn’t notice, I’m already taking care of you, am I not? That doesn’t excuse you for being an idiot, though.”

“Are you two in cahoots or something? It’s not fair. Wounded man over here.”

“Oh shut up.” Both you and his blond friend said at the same time. Petyr moaned once again and you sent a little amused smile to the blondie.

“Should I leave you with a cool battle scar? Maybe acting like a war hero will give you the balls to write to her.” You harmlessly threatened him but your hands were already reconnecting the tissue of his skin without letting it scar.

“I’ve told you, y/n. She deserves better than what I can give her. I am, who knows if I even make it home? I’d be only stringing her along.” Now Petyr was dead serious. It was true, you had talked about this often since he was a regular you got to know him better and he had soon told you about his sweet Katia.

While his friend chanted “fool” like a mantra in the background, you took his bloodied hand in yours, his wound fully healed.

“Petyr, how do you think she’s gonna react when she learns that there hasn’t been any delay to her letters but you’re just ignoring her? Besides, you should let her make this decision too. Who knows, she’ll surprise you.” Squeezing his hand you turned to let your words settle and to put away your utensils. You knew you had given him so much food for thought so you didn’t address the subject anymore. His friend helped him off the table and that’s when you noticed that he was injured too. He had a pretty nasty cut on his lower lip and there was already a bruise forming on his temple.

“Petyr, you can sit on my chair while I take care of your friend. You should be fine but for at least a while don’t stress your body.”

Mentally making a list of the things you need to tend to this kind of wound and where you kept them, you started collecting before heading back to them.

Petyr had sat down but his friend was still standing.

“You don’t have to lie down if you don’t want to, but unless you don’t want me to go take a ladder or something, it would be best if you sat on the table.” You gave him your best reassuring smile as you mixed the healing paste. Sometimes, men didn’t like to put themselves in a vulnerable position with someone they didn’t know and had learned to fear. He wasn’t that badly hurt and it would only take a couple of seconds to fix but not every oprichniki was comfortable with being healed by Grisha power. So the paste would do your job for you. It would take longer, sure and it would also sting a lot more but at least he’d be healed at last.

After looking at you for a little while, the blond man did as you instructed, giving you a dazzling smile in return when you settled between his legs to fix his cut.

“The name is Nikolai or handsome if you prefer.” It was not the first time a wounded soldier tried to flirt with you. IT didn’t bother you, you found them amusing more than anything and you knew it was the allure of someone taking care of them speaking more than any real interest.

“Let’s hope you won’t be around here much for me to learn your name.”

“I’ll have to find another way to make myself unforgettable then.” He winked at you before hopping off the table.

You didn’t address his words, only gave them the paste you had prepared. It would prevent any wound from being infected and would be able to cure small cuts and bruises if applied for a couple of days. With that, you sent them both on their way. Petyr waving you goodbye while Nikolai sent you another wink.

And so this was how it all started.

Mr. "Perfect face"

Mr. "Here to stay"

Mr. "Looked me in the eye and told me you would never go away"

Everything was right

Despite your fellow Grisha, military life could be a bit alienating. Which sounded like a paradox, sure, but everyone had their own way of processing trauma and emotions and of course there were plenty of those during the war. If the best way to come to terms with everything that happened was to distance yourself from others and try to find the solution in solitude, it could get to the point where you’d feel alone in a room full of people.

To get a little respite, you’d usually go on a long walk or resort to stargaze. Sometimes, depending on where you were posted, it wasn’t safe to leave the campsite. So, that’s how Nikolai found you one night. Even he had to take a breather once in a while. Being a different version of yourself based on who you’re interlocutor was must be exhausting. Of course, you didn’t know this. You knew nothing about Nikolai at that point if not that he was Petyr’s friend and a socialite, according to other soldiers.

He seemed to be at the centre of gossip no matter what group of people you found yourself with and there also seemed to be a consensus about him. Everyone liked him. Even if it was rare for some Grisha to appreciate oprichniki, you knew they somewhat respected him because if they didn’t praise him out loud, they didn’t speak ill of him either.

“Not a fan of crowds, are you?” he announced his presence before sitting down beside you.

“I love them, I really do. It’s just that sometimes it gets too much.”

“Yeah, I know how you feel.”

“You do? Everyone seems to think you’re a socialite.”

“It’s what I want them to think but alas, I enjoy being more complex and multifaceted than that.” He lightly bumped your shoulder with his, eyes aflame with mischief.

“I bet.” you simply smirked. Despite how everyone seemed to think they knew him, you got the peculiar vibe from him, like there was a lot more to him than what he let everyone see.

“No one seems to know much about you.”

“Maybe you’ve talked to the wrong people.”

“Well, then I guess it’s better if I got straight to the source, don’t you think?”

“That will surely be a better start. Not sure you’ll find what you’re looking for though.”

“We’ll see.”

That night had been the first of many. It had become a sort of an unspoken arrangement between the two of you. While it didn’t last long, you sensed that you got to know him better than everyone. There was something about late nights meetings under the stars that prompted deep and meaningful conversations. It wasn’t hard to form a solid bond with him after a few nights.

The conversations weren’t always personal in the conventional sense. You’d often stray and talk about the most bizarre things. Like why something had the name it had or how cool it’d be if it was possible to pass through surfaces, which led to imagine all the uncomfortable situations one could find themselves in if they were to simply go into a room through its wall.

Nikolai was witty, overly confident and ambitious and he knew a lot of things. You always wondered how he had learned them since he was so young and been in the army for a couple of years already. But Nikolai was never too forward on certain topics, his family and childhood being some of those. You understood, those were sore subjects for you too. So you never insisted. It was much more interesting to listen to him rumble about impossible future projects of his, like a flying ship.

"When people say impossible, they usually mean improbable." He’d say whenever you’d point it out to him. Somehow, despite the absolute absurdity of them, the sheer confidence that he seemed to constantly exude, made you consider the possibility of his success.

You got the distinct feeling that there was nothing this man couldn’t do.

But that was when I got to know Mr. "Change of heart"

Mr. "Leaves me all alone," I fall apart

It takes everything in me just to get up each day

But it's wonderful to see that you're okay

But, alas, as all things do, these encounters of yours also got to an end. You knew it would happen, you were both soldiers so your lives were both heavily characterised by uncertainty after all. However, you were not prepared for it to end so abruptly though. And without an apparent reason. Because Nikolai’s unit hadn’t been posted elsewhere and he hadn’t been fatally wounded. You would have heard of it were that the case. But it wasn’t.

You thought that he had come to cherish your nightly encounters too. Some of those had been full of his promises. How he’d love for you to be around when he’d eventually find the time to work on his ideas. How you had been a nice surprise, a most interesting person among so many dull idiots you were surrounded by every day. How he’d come to value your opinions and presence in his life and that he was going to find a way to make sure that that would never change. Promises that turned to be empty.

You had never allowed yourself to fully believe him. It wasn’t the first time that a boy had made the same kind of promises but Nikolai looked sincere. Honest enough to be believable. But, of course, you had been wrong.

You didn’t realise just how much you had come to rely on him until he was gone. You tried to keep your mind off him and luckily the perfect distraction came your way. The Darkling had scheduled an attack on the enemy’s army and had posted you to be on the field to take care of everyone promptly. You had never been more grateful to the man, even after he had given her a home and a purpose.

Ever since your first encounter with Nikolai, you had thought it had been a blessing. However, you had soon changed your mind and now considered a curse more than anything. Why? Because as soon as you got to the field you couldn’t help but scour the troops for a familiar mop of blond hair. Many looked like him and being this far you couldn’t be sure that he wasn’t one of them but you certainly despised the leap your heart made every time though. That was a distraction you couldn’t afford. Besides, it wasn’t smart to let your heart get involved in times of war.

The battle began, Inferni and Squallers were working together to impair the enemy’s visual so they couldn’t shoot or use their cannons while the First Army marched after them to swap in as soon as the air cleared to catch the enemy by surprise. While your role wasn’t active per se, you were a Corporalki after all, and even if you had been specifically trained as Healer, you had also got one of your friends to teach you the basics of an Heartrender’s work. You weren’t a powerful one but you could hold your ground in a fight. Especially since they weren’t expecting you. And you were still far from any real threat.

The battle dragged on and soon there were wounded soldiers that needed your attention. You hated this kind of work, it was messy and dirty and had to be quick because spending too much time on one soldier could mean dooming another to death. You were accustomed to it by now and soon found a rhythm focusing on ensuring everyone’s survival and not bothering with the aesthetic side of healing. That could be taken care of later if they wanted to.

As soon as your eyes fell onto a crouched figure you sprinted towards them. It was dirty and you didn’t recognize them but you got the feeling it was a life or death situation. Oh, how you wanted to be wrong.

The person crouching turned out to be Nikolai and he wasn’t alone. He was kneeling beside someone, Petyr.

“Where are you hurt?” you hurriedly asked as you tried to assess the damage. His uniform was dirty and full of blood but you couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. Trying to answer you, Petyr opened his mouth only to let out the most gruesome gurgling sound as his respiratory tract was flooded by blood.

“He got shot in the gut.” Nikolai offered.

“Is the bullet still inside?” Opening his uniform jacket you tore a piece from his shirt to use it to put pressure on the wound.

“It’s too late,” Nikolai uttered.

“No.” You strongly refused as you removed the cloth and focused on the wound. His heart was straightening and he had already lost a lot of blood. If the bullet was still inside that it was going to be a problem, if it wasn’t then you still had a fighting chance.

“I removed it earlier.” So that was why he had lost so much blood. Nodding your head to show that you had heard him, you set out to stop the internal bleeding. Slowing his heartbeat so that it was pumping less blood and thus eased your endeavour. You were still in the middle of the field and while you were keeping up with the warfare but in the back of your mind, you registered the sounds of screaming and of gunshots getting closer. A bullet hit you in the shoulder propelling you forward over Petyr’s body. Grisha’s kefta were bulletproof so you weren’t worried for your incolumity but for the harsh movement you had made.

Leaning back, you heard Nikolai calling for you but your eyes were trained on Petyr. You tried to listen for his heartbeat but could only hear two instead of three. Nikolai, who had never left your side, immediately understood what had happened by the fall of your shoulders and the tensing of your hands.

He kept calling for you but the only thing you could focus on was that you had let your friend down. Now there will be one more family crying for a loss, another girl mourning a lost loved one. And it was all your fault. It was because of you that Petyr wouldn’t live to see another day, to write another letter or to fight another battle. It was on you.

The details of what happened next were a bit blurred. Someway you must have found your way back to the campsite. Whether you did on your own after tending to everyone else, you didn’t know. Your memories picked up after you woke up in your tent. Someone was calling your name, saying that the Darkling wanted to see you.

Mechanically you raised and made your way to the Darkling’s tent but your mind was elsewhere. Your thoughts were plagued by Petyr’s face, by that godforsaken sound he made when he tried to speak. The realisation that he was gone hit you like a wall of brick that would have made you stumble if you weren't’ sat in front of the Darkling’s desk. Whether he was speaking and stopped after seeing the forlorn look in your eyes or he hadn’t been speaking at all, you didn’t realize. You did hear him say that you were going to be posted somewhere. Under different circumstances you have said something, anything to not let him send you away. Your mind immediately went to Nikolai. You’d be leaving him behind along with the campsite.

However, you now realised that you had already lost him. Losing Petyr had been the last thing that had completely severed your bond. There was no turning back now and part of you was grateful.

Hello Mr. "Perfectly fine"

How's your heart after breaking mine?

I've been Miss "Misery" since your goodbye

And you're Mr. "Perfectly fine"

You couldn’t know, of course, but Nikolai had left not long after you did. Albeit for a different reason. He had finally earned the Major rank and as such, he took a step back from military life deciding that his skill would be better suited for a life on the sea. Assuring Ravka the supply she needed but in ways that weren’t exactly suitable for a prince but worked just fine for a privateer. And thus Sturmhond came to life.

As for you, you kept doing your job at your new post but were relieved when a letter came from the Darkling instructing that you were needed at the Little Palace. Part of you had relegated Nikolai to that part of your mind where the unmentionable was, however, a traitor thought whispered that maybe there was a chance that you could see him at the royal grounds. Sure, the possibilities were close to zero but it was still possible, right?

No.

You already were ashamed of the fact that you’re still suffering because of him. And yes, you missed him but you weren’t going to indulge the pathetic hope of seeing him again.

He doesn’t want to see you. If he did, he would have already found you. Or write you a letter if he couldn’t, but he didn’t.

You were right. You knew you were, nonetheless, the thought only brought you a bittersweet feeling.

You found the Little Palace just how you’d left it and yet it seemed changed in a way. The insane amount of work you found there waiting for you helped you drown the feeling that it was you that had changed.

Months passed this way, sometimes the Darkling would post you with him or outside the Little Palace. All in all, you’ve kept busy. When news of the little prince leaving the Palace reached you, you let it wash over you. It wasn’t like it mattered much, whether he was a few feet away or in another nation, Nikolai wasn’t part of your life either way.

When the whole expansion of the Fold happened, you were stationed at the Little Palace. Chaos and terror ensued as soon as the news reached the capital making most of the Grisha flee. Most of them went looking for the Darkling while others simply ran away and hid. You were amongst the first group.

Soon, your life was radically changed. The shift in the Darkling was palpable and it didn’t have anything to do with the scars on his face. You had tried your best to heal them and Genya to tailor them away but somehow, they could not be removed. It was an unsettling thing to realize that they didn’t take away his beauty. One could even say that they enhanced his attractiveness.

He was certainly more powerful. None of you knew what had happened in the Fold that day, just that the Sun Summoner had fled and that there were no survivors apart from him. However, as your journey in pursuit of Alina dragged on, you were soon witnesses of his newfound power.

The nichevo’ya, he called them.

He had always been immensely powerful. One of a kind. But this- this was different. And as dread settled among your group as you watched them in action, realisation sat heavily on your shoulders.

He soon found a trail and traced Alina in Novyi Zem and set out to reach the island by hiring Sturmhond’s crew. He was a famous pirate after all and despite his unreliability, the Darkling was sure that as long as he got his money, he wouldn't be a problem.

In the round trip, you didn’t see much of the captain anyway. Some members of his crew were amiable enough, particularly the Yul-Baatar twins. You had even asked Tamar to spar with you from time to time. Your lessons with Botnik were a distant memory and you knew that mastering combat training skills could increase your chance at survival.

When Alina and Mal were held captive though, that’s when Sturmhond made an appearance. He looked younger than you’d thought and there was something oddly familiar in the way he held himself. Still, you didn't talk with him much. Your job was to take care of Alina and so you spent most of your time in her room.

It wasn’t until the Darkling asked Mal to track Rusalye and consequently spent more time with Alina that you had a chance to talk with him. It was during one of your night shifts when he approached you, the Darkling had wanted some of his to always be patrolling the ship.

“What could possibly make a little thing like you be amidst this wretched company?”

“It’s all a matter of perspective, I guess.”

“The thrill of adventure?”

“There’s plenty of it everywhere you go if you’re Grisha, even if you just go on a stroll.”

“Is that why you follow him?”

“I owe everything to him.”

“I’m sure you realize your role in this.”

“Of course I do. I’m not some naive girl who has a crush on her general.”

“Ah, so who, pray tell, do you have a crush on then, beautiful lady?”

“You’re certainly noisy for a pirate.”

“Privateer,” he corrected you, “there’s not much to do around here is it?”

“Not if you have everyone taking care of it, no.”

“Amuse me.”

“It isn’t wise to let the heart get involved in times of war.” That was all you were willing to share. Yes, he was handsome. Yes, the twinkle in his eyes was oddly familiar but he was a stranger. A dangerous one.

“Those sound like words spoken from experience.”

“Maybe.”

“Well, I’d say it’s no fun to only think about war. Life is so much more.”

“Believe me, if I could, it’d be the last thing on my mind. But, alas, l don’t have the privilege to do so.”

You had already lost too much time speaking with him. If someone were to see you or tell the Darkling you’d be in trouble. And you had made it your goal to never put yourself on the path of the Darkling’s anger. So you excused yourself and went back to your rounds.

If only you had stayed and talked to him more maybe you would have understood what was about to happen. Maybe you would have had an enkindling of Sturmhond’s plans. Instead, you were taken by surprise, just like everyone in your group, when Rusalye was spot and a shot was fired. You had found yourself in the uncomfortable position of having to fight against people you had grown to like.

“I don’t want to hurt you, y/n,” Tamar warned you as you stood face to face on the sinking ship dock. Her trusted axes in her hands while your hands were raised ready to attack.

“I don’t want to hurt you either.”

“Then you don’t have to. Come with us.” Her proposition made you gasp.

“That would be treason,” you whispered hoping that the Darkling wasn’t around to hear you. A shiver ran through you as you thought of the punishment he’d give you for even thinking about leaving his side.

“Then you leave me no choice.” She said lowering her arms. Was that guilt you heard in her voice?

Before you could voice your question though, she shouted for her brother and not even a second later, you felt your body grow still. Your eyebrows faltered as you felt your heartbeat slow down.

They were Grisha.

They must have seen you realise because you heard Tamar apologize before everything went black.

Mr. "Never told me why"

He goes about his day

Forgets he ever even heard my name

Well, I thought you might be different than the rest, I guess you're all the same

You didn’t stay out for long though. As soon as Sturmhond’s crew had left the Darkling’s ship and had safely made it onto the Volkvolny, the privateer had asked for you to be awakened.

There wasn’t enough light for you to realize you were on another ship, what alerted you of your new situation were your hands. They had bound them behind your back. Immediately you started to struggle, hoping to wiggle out of the restraints. To no avail though. Huffing out in frustration, you settled for looking around you and see if there was something you could use. That’s when you noticed him.

“Release me- this instant, or else-”

“Or what? You’re a Healer. Not exactly a violent job, is it?” Sturmhond interrupted you, a smirk on his face since he had the upper hand.

“I don’t need my powers to kick you in the ass, do I?” He laughed but didn’t look remotely threatened. Rather amused, actually.

“Please, you have to let me go. He’ll kill me if-” Panic started to build as you realized that there was no way you could successfully escape.

“He won’t touch you.” A solemn glow took over his eyes. “He won’t ever hurt you again, you have my word.” He promised, looking subtly at your left shoulder. You winced as you realized that he must have seen your scars. The ones left by the Darkling’s niche’voya.

“How can I know if you’re trustworthy? You don’t exactly have a good score, you know?”

“You’re going to find out soon enough. Don’t worry.”

Of course, he didn’t bother offering further explanations. He’d left it at that. You weren’t a captive per se but he left your hands bound, only freeing them when you needed to eat or relieve yourself.

Fruitless were your efforts in making you tell more. He often ate with you and would check in at least twice a day but that was it.

It wasn’t until after you had landed after that forsaken vehicle of his had gotten you through the Fold that you understood. His coming out as Nikolai Lanstov, prince and second in line for the Ravkan throne, had shaken you all to your core. However, you doubted that it had sent a pang to the others’ hearts as it did with yours.

Nikolai Lantsov. The man you had been dreaming about, the one that had left you behind without any sort of explanations, the one you missed so dearly, had been by your side all this time.

You weren’t sure how you felt. It made sense now why his eyes looked familiar and his posture. You then connected that the vehicle you had used in the Fold had been one of the many projects he used to geek about with you. It tasted a lot like betrayal. Not because he had lied to you about his name but because he had tried to get close to you again and had managed to somehow break that growing bond again.

'Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl

I've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her

So dignified in your well-pressed suit

So strategized, all the eyes on you

Oh, he's so smug, Mr. "Always wins"

So far above me in every sense

So far above feeling anything

Even if his secret had been outed thus causing some shift in the dynamics between Nikolai and the two new members of his crew - you suspected Mal was closer to punching him every second that passed- not much had changed for you.

On the outside, you pretty much looked like a prisoner. Albeit a very clean one. You rode with them, hands still bound, scowl ever-present on your face.

Nikolai had not come to see you ever since that night after the Fold. And now it had been almost a week since you had started your journey back to the capital. Whether this was all part of his plan to make you look the part of the captive even more or he was just gutless, you didn't know. It was working either way though.

You liked to think that his reason was simply that he didn't care. He had far too much on his plate right now as it was. Going back to court after years of absence while also making claims to the throne and trying to sway the Sun Summoner your way. It was no easy feat. But hadn't he always liked to say that impossible often meant improbable? A lot of things had changed since that night but even so, you'd still pose your bet on him that he'd be able to achieve anything he set his mind to.

It wasn't exactly that thinking this way brought you actual comfort. Of course, not. But it was better than foolishly hoping for him to still care about you the way you did for him. After all, he had sent plenty of signals that pointed in the other direction.

But then why did he kidnap you? Why take you with him? You weren't that close to the Darkling to be of any use to Nikolai in that way. And, as a matter of fact, no one had come to interrogate you regarding his plans or whereabouts. Then why?

You still couldn't figure it out.

Some days your anger shifted more to frustration and you were ounces away from asking for him yourself. Almost as if he had heard you though, he gave you the final push.

It was the usual day, Nikolai and Alina were riding in the carriage, stopping in every village we passed to meet with the locals. However, this time, before climbing back into the carriage, they kissed.

You were too far to figure out who started it and the details. The gist of it was enough though.

You most certainly were a fool. Still thinking about a guy who didn't give two shits about you, who had kidnapped you putting you in a dangerous situation and you were still wondering whether he felt something for you or not? Pathetic.

You had to do something about your situation and quickly too. Officially, you were a traitor. You had fled and joined the Darkling, that wouldn't make you look good in front of the king. He was a lousy bastard anyway and will probably sentence you to death to set an example. You hadn't survived so much shit to end up at the end of a rope.

So, even though you had initially thought against it since you were so close to home, you decided to escape. You were already headed towards certain death so what was the worst that could happen?

Your hands were left unbound when you were in your tent. One less problem to solve. Closing your eyes, you focused on listening for any nearby heartbeats. You heard two, those of the guards posted outside your tent. Maybe you could find an excuse to call them inside, put them to sleep and then slip away.

That was not exactly what your powers were for but you were desperate. You had to at least try.

And so you did. You called them in and immediately set out to slow their heartbeats. You had almost succeeded in putting them under when someone else slipped in. The last person you wanted to see.

"Am I that bad of a host?"

You didn't meet his ruse though, you knew it would make you lose focus.

"I'm afraid I have to ask you to release my soldiers." As soon as he said it though, they fell unconscious at last. Your chest was heaving by now, using so much power in such a different way was costing you. But you couldn't back down now. It was one on one and you were Grisha and a woman scorned. He stood no chance.

"Move out of my way, your highness."

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

"You can or I can make you. Your choice." The venom in your voice was unmistakable and it took him by surprise. He gave you a curious look tilting his head to the side like he was seeing you for the first time over again.

"I didn't realize ruthlessness was one of your personality traits."

"You know nothing about me," you seethed. The tip of your fingers flexed, the tension in the room could be cut with a knife and you were already weary.

"It may have been a while y/n, but I like to think I know a good deal about you."

"And I would like to completely erase this last year but you don't hear me yap about how shitty it has been, do you?"

"You never did like opening up much."

"I'm well past the point of sentimentalism, Nikolai. It is coming far too late anyway. And whatever my feelings for you may be, I won't let you put my life on the line." Your posture straightened, stance ready for battle.

His eyes flashed, jaw clenched. His hands closed in fists and he almost looked hurt. But why would he?

"Is that what you think all of this is?" Nikolai always acted aloof. He was always composed and dignified. You had thought it was for his insane amount of self-confidence but now you understood it was for how he was raised. But you recognised the pout on his lips. It was the expression he’d always have whenever he tried to get something from getting to him. To prevent himself from showing emotions.

"You're holding me captive while you go around Ravka parading your latest conquest, flashing your return everywhere. I don't know why you're doing this but I don't care. I've stopped waiting around for you and I certainly won't let your father put me to death."

"You think I'd let him?"

"So you want to do this?" you threw your hands up in exasperation, "Fine. You really want to know what I think?"

"Be my guest."

"I think that the Nikolai I knew would have left out of the blue without so much as a letter. I think that the Nikolai I knew was ready to go to any length to achieve what he believed in. However, I thought that the Nikolai I knew cared about me and what we had but look at me now. So maybe, I know nothing at all."

"You certainly do seem to know a lot of things. But you’re not wrong."

"If this is the way you care about me," I gesture to my tent, "then I'm not sure I want this Nikolai to care for me."

“This,” he said, emulating your gesture, “is to keep you safe. This is my way to ensure that if the Darkling got news of your whereabouts, he’d be sure not to think you willingly left his side and betrayed him.”

“That’s because I didn’t!” You raised your voice in outrage. The nerve of this man.

“Spare me your indignation. I know you hate being at his beck and call, to do his dirty work and be constantly surrounded by warfare.”

“Do not presume to speak for me.” You snapped. You knew it was best to keep a cool head but his cockiness was getting on your nerves.

“Didn’t you? Hate it, I mean.”

“We’re at war, Nikolai. Being away or close to the Darkling won’t change that. At least with him, I was safe.”

“You can’t be that delusional to think that he was protecting you.” He scoffed at your words as if they were the most absurd thing he had ever heard.

“And you can’t be that delusional to think that bringing me back won’t result in your father killing me.” You fired back shifting on your feet. He winced as if you had physically hurt him.

“You have so little faith in me?” His voice was just above a whisper and you knew that your words had struck a chord.

“How can I have any, Nikolai?” your voice softened a bit. “One day you’re telling me how much you value my opinion, you promise me a future where I’d be the first to see your project come to life and then you left. You just left, Nikolai.” And when I was starting to make my peace with it that’s when you come back? Also, let’s not forget about my abduction and your flirting with Alina.”

“So yes, I don’t trust you.” You concluded, crossing your arms on your chest with finality. He just stared at you for the longest time. If someone would come in now, they’d think you were in the middle of a staring contest. Then he sighed and started talking.

“I had to go away. I had already pushed my parents’ limits when I said I wanted to be part of the infantry. So, one day I got a letter written by my father personally and I knew that my time was up. I had been Nikolai for too long, now I had to start being a Lantsov prince.” His eyes were on the ground now, shame making her way in his words.

“So that’s what I did,” he went as he started pacing,”I went to Kerch to study, just like my father wanted. I did what he asked, he couldn’t reproach me anything now. I could never stay too still though, a life of adventure was calling me and I could not ignore it. It was only then that I realized that I could do so much more than sitting in a class, to realistically help Ravka.”

“I couldn’t take you with me. You had such a larger role to play in the army and besides, there wasn’t much I could offer you. So yes, I left. I left thinking that I would find my way back to you eventually.” He had stopped by now, regret was swirling in his shining orbs as he looked at you.

“You could have told me.” You contestated, taken back by all the information he gave you. “I would have waited for you.” A whispered promise for something that would never be now.

“I was afraid, y/n. That’s not my best moment, I know and no number of apologies could ever make it right. But I was afraid of your answer. I knew I’d be asking for a lot and let’s be honest-” the desperation in his tone was evident now, he had unconsciously started to lean towards you but you knew what he was about to say.

“You weren’t sure if the future you were offering me would just end up with me being your mistress, am I right?” Your tone hardened but despite the insulting implication of what you said, you weren’t made at him.

“I’m a prince, y/n. We do not marry for love and this country cannot afford to disregard the advantages that a political union could bring.”

His honesty was as refreshing as it was unsettling. He was right. As soon as you had learned he was a prince, you realized just what kind of future you could have with him. But then he left and that problem did not exist anymore. Neither of you spoke, both of you were seizing the other. You had laid it all out, defences were down putting you both in a vulnerable position.

And someday maybe you'll miss me

“You should have talked to me, Nikolai. We could have figured it out together. If it came to being your mistress to stay with you, then that was my decision to make.” You said softly after a while. It pained for you to say this, you would have never thought that getting closure would hurt this much.

Tears streamed on both of your faces, in front of you had been laid what your future could have looked like. It was everything you had wanted, you could still do your job and have the man of your dreams. You were surprised to find that you wouldn’t mind sharing him with his supposed wife. You had been at court for enough time to know how most marriages went. If he assured you it was only a diplomatic affair but that his heart was yours, that would have been enough. Who knows, maybe she’ll get a lover too.

But now… now you didn’t know if you could ignore everything that happened. You did not trust him nor could you ignore how hurt you were by his lack of communication and thus of trust in you.

But by then, you'll be Mr. "Too late"

[aktosage]

Ahh I’m happy you’re happy!! Sending virtual hugs :D

AND YOUR DOODLES ARE SUPER CUTE!! Your elita in the tfp style one was super pretty omg

Question! For your adding more characters to tfp au (does it count as an au?) where do you think characters like Pharma and First Aid would fit into this? I reckon the whole Delphi fiasco would be different in some ways, or maybe it didn’t happen at all!

I think that Pharma is a super interesting character, and there’s a lot of potential for world building centred around him, if that makes sense? Like he was able to make a plague that was originally transmitted via sound and only activated when the host transformed, and for a darker setting like the tfp continuity I think he would be able to fit right in!

I’m so sorry for rambling I just think he’s a really interesting character!! I hope you’re having a good day, and thank you for taking the time to read this :D

*hugs*

AAAA THANK YOU!!! She’s one of my fav characters omg it hurts how little there is of her in canon. And I’ll do more doodles in 2022! I’ll try to do more with this

Oooooh I’m two steps ahead of you, I have the Delphi, Red Rust, DJD and all that alll ready for you👀 I’ll first write briefly what I think happened, then I’ll throw in some headcanons about Pharma and FirstAid like I do for others :p

Pharma was one of the leading medic’s back on Cybertron and took many apprentices. Him and Ratchet were close like in the idw, they worked together, opened a clinic for the lower class as well (which wasn’t legal off course, but hey you can’t punish your greatest medics especially if they don’t drag attention to themselves and if their cause actually HELPS calm down the situation) and repaired what they could.

The difference between the two, is once again one follows the humane limits the other one does not. Eventually the two broke apart because of that with some hard feelings ofc but overall nothing serious. It still affected both mental and created rivalry —> the better medic would be better known —> if Pharma js better he will surely break the limits and harm someone.

Ratchet wasn’t as nearly as skilled at Pharma because Pharma had a lot of experience and a natural “thing” for being a medic. Ratchet was all brains, passion and a L O T hard work, nothing fell from the sky right into his palms. (This is important trust me)

So.

Pharma kept doing his experiments, Firstaid staying with him because it was a secret between the two. Ratchet did NOT want FirstAid to loose a chance of learning from the best, so he stayed quiet and said that he’s leaving for business. Eventually, Pharma mutated the old Cybertronian plague because his plan was to eradicate those who he considered harmful for the society👀 (Ratchet had a soft spot for ‘the harmful’ ones and for Pharma, Pharma did not. Thus in TFP Ratchet lost his soft spot in a way to not let a mistake happen again.)

^^adding the DJD. Pharma also did it to keep himself safe later in his research. He was found very quickly by one of Megatron’s men, and while his plan was to harm ONLY the ‘harmful’ ones he had to form an alliance. His virus was to be spread fast but it also ought to be fairly easy to stop or avoid for those who knew about it. He worked with Shockwave on a proper cure, and the files were transferred to Megatron (so Pharma only had a batch of it for himself and maybe FirstAid to stop him from overproducing it) Also the usual supplying the djd with parts and such.

Fear and threats got to Pharma and he eventually turned mad because he realized how bad it had gotten. He wanted to be a medic to save people and teach younger bots his work, the younger bots who were dying under his servos.

He was doing all this right when the war was about to start, around the time when Orion became Optimus. But it transmitted TOO well and too fast, but Pharma wasn’t scared because “less people, less problems, less mouth to feed, less poor, people would eventually start getting more careful and focus on finding a cure rather than startinfg a war”.

Pharma eventually fled the planet to ‘organize a refugee center’ on one of Cybertron’s abandoned colonies (cold weather like in Delphi, rather hard to reach…)

To the battle at Tyger Pax. We all know that Ratchet blames himself for Bumblebee’s loss of speech, or rather for not being able to FIX it. Pharma could’ve. Pharma could’ve.

So when Optimus got the plague back on earth from that ship, it hit Ratchet especially hard👀 It was yet another mistake he had to fix but couldn’t. And that’s why he INSTANTLY knew what it was back there, he knew everything about it but the cure.

I just realized how much I wrote oh god, so if you’d like headcanons on the three medics pls do say😭

I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS! I really try to intertwine canon from both to fit into TFP unuverse (which is very messy? The alligned is practically just flecks of content scattered around but there are multiple posibilities? Okay)

Anyone is welcome to ask more, seriously this is phenomenal for me I get so excited when I can share whatever this is :D

I have 3 (I think) more asks to do BUT.

I’m going on a trip tomorrow and will be traveling for a long time so I could use some asks👀 or even fanfic requests (I write this is my AO3 heh https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aktosage/pseuds/Aktosage ) I especially like my OpLita fic but it is kinda sad I think 💀

Oneshots are a-okay!

Fanfic promts as well

Nsfw ONLY. O N L Y 18+ and will be posted only there for now IF I do it :p

Any universe seriously

OCs are eeeeh okay? I just don’t know how well I’d be able to tackle a character I couldn’t research first hand :p

Headcanons are mwah perfect

Human x [insert fella] are also okay!

[sorryimananti-romantic]

done writing win (wooyoung x reader) and made the draft for part 1 and realised how long it actually is and im sorry but yall gonna have to wait till part 2 for the romance (i mean, there are moments in part 1 that give me butterflies but the actual shit starts in part 2) but ahh writing this was fun. its slow paced but everything will make sense, i promise. i love writing slow paced stuff it makes me feel like im living it as i write it ;-; i hope you enjoy the story. it was inspired heavily by the kdrama mr. sunshine, which is also one of my favourite series ever.

my next project, which is already written and almost finished as well, is... a take me home spinoff! (take me home fandom, please rise again i know yall obsessed with take me home san). we're giving san another series (if yall know me you know im absolutely obsessed down on my knees for san in general). it's gonna be long, probably five to six parts. it can be read without reading take me home- i've done enough of explaining in the story so that y'all don't get confused, and so that the new readers get the gist of what the universe is, but for the new readers, if they decide to read take me home, i'm sure they won't feel that it's spoiled beyond repair bc honestly take me home is long and confusing asf LOL. its also very self indulgent so i dont expect a lot of readers from this one but im gonna post anyway ;-;

im gonna try to write a mingi (maybe a fantasy fic or fake lovers or sth) or jongho fic next (what do yall think of bodyguard jongho? i recently saw a pic of him holding a gun and i had THOUGHTS), maybe a yeosang one too (i have the best idea i just need to write it), so i'll have a lot of stuff to post in the next few months. look forward to it! if you have prompts, im open for discussion too. also, thank you for all the lovely msgs/asks you've been sending me all this time- they make me so happy. i love you all :)