#and again. i think ted did it THEN told them after the fact and they put up with it because he's the head coach

[coachbeards]

i just have been thinking about ted's abilities when it comes to coaching, given recent dash commentaries, and i think ted........isn't used to working on a team. like a full fledged team. for the past ~15 years, he's been working alongside beard.......beard. who. lbr here. ted kinda walks over professionally. and that's typically alright, considering they were college coaches of a sport they both knew, but ted has always had a position of power over beard, professionally. and he's very very used to beard.................going along with whatever he suggests. from beard's outburst in 1x09 and ted's blatant confusion over it, it's clear beard doesn't make his opinions that known. i mean hell. it's easy to assume ted accepted the job without talking to beard first. and we even saw that type of behavior in actio in 1x05. he benched jamie without discussing it with his fellow coach, at the time only beard, who just went "okay then." like....ted is very used to a) knowing the sport and b) making all the decisions without really clearing it with beard, which translates into not clearing it with nate or roy when they join the staff. because ted is used to working solely with beard, who never spoke up about things. hm.

like.........when nate and beard did try to talk to him in 1x09 about benching roy (they literally had to sit ted down to breach the idea) he told them,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, they were wrong. like. that's what he said. "i value each of your opinions...even when they're wrong." respectfully, ted. you,,, do not know what you're talking about. they have to walk you through every single football related thing...beard is more willing to discuss football strategy with the kitman than his own boss because his boss doesn't know what they're doing.

[problematicfactive]

Fruit Salad is a new discord server. They are a fun. Welcoming community. Too bad they're actually not accepting of anyone they don't agree with and believe trying to come to an understanding is "unproductive"

If anyone is able to provide image IDs, that would be amazing, I'm physically incapable at the moment

The first red flag was their rules saying something along the lines of "be respectful to sources, of a source is problematic, report it in a ticket" surely that will go well.

Our host clued into it, and immediately opened a ticket to ask what that meant. of course they claimed they knew Introjects don't choose their source BUT problematic introjects have to source separate.

Fellas, is it appropriate to claim that any introject, problematic or not is "parading" their source by simply. Existing?

Now I will admit. When we were asked "what we were trying to do" we assumed they meant "why are we having this conversation" and did our best to explain that. However, looking back, this may not have been the question they wanted an answer to. The question feels too vague to answer, and we did our best. It also seemed like they were just trying to change the topic of conversation because they didn't want to be face with the fact that they were wrong and we had a good point.

Again, I don't understand what they want to know when they say "what is your end goal" my end goal is to know what's okay so I can know if I'm safe in this community.

To be as insensitive as to make a joke about using a discord bot being torturous when I had just been talking about abuse of individuals is what told me I wasn't safe. Someone after that when said "LMAO" which I skipped over to make the whole conversation fit better

And this is actually a problem I've been having for a while so I have something that people need to get through their heads and we need to help people to understand

No one has to disclose a SINGLE BIT of information about their system to ANYONE. If a mod is trying to coax the information out of you or shaming you for not giving it, you need to call them out for being innapropriate because asking these questions and using your position to ask these questions or shame for not answering is a absolutely innapropriate

Now I have explained this before, but I will explain this again and probably 100 more times. When my system found out who my source was, I was abused. at the same time, I was forced to undergo name changes and identify under different faces. It was a terrible and isolating experience and absolutely a part of the abuse I endured. And while another system can easily say "okay, whatever, Ted can be Dan in this server" we can't. Because I can't. Because of the abuse I endured I can't lie about who I am it is torturous to me. It leaves me unhappy. It leaves me feeling sick. I don't deserve to be exposed to old abuse I endured because you relate source separation to keeping your old name.

Guess what, a name is a word someone calls to get your attention.

And a pic of you is what you look like

And neither of these things have anything to do with what i support or enjoy

Stop acting like my worth is based on my source and start acting like it's based on what I do for my system. People who show up to the hypocrite competition go home when they see people like you (directed at people like this not any reader) because you're the all time champion and that's not something to be proud of. Don't run system friendly spaces if you think source connection comes from how much like you your pfp looks

[jamiesfootball]

Let’s talk about male bonding rituals and the way that physical touch in the locker room can be a comforting outlet. Like how the team hugs and jumps on each other after they score a goal. Or how they casually lean against each other in the locker rooms. Or Roy’s little fist bumps to each of the lads to hype them up. You can use words or actions for your anger, but there’s a protocol for kindness.

And then there’s Zava, who’s an interesting bastard in his own right, because as people have pointed out he accepts touch from others but he doesn’t reciprocate. Dani fullbody hugs the man (after a goal, of course, the most acceptable time to do so) and the most he does is try to shake him off. If Richmond is reaching hands, then the most Zava has done is beckon them in and allow them to worship, like when he took over the huddle before the match- he allowed everyone to put their hands on Zava.

And Richmond is an especially sweet team under Ted’s tenure. So again we have Zava performing in a way that on surface level is inoffensive.

Except that there is one person that Zava makes a point to touch - and I do think he’s making a point about it. Even if we only saw it a few times, I think it was a good extension for showing us how Zava viewed Jamie.

I’ve talked before about how interesting the little one-two shoulder brush/ass slap was in that first match, because on the surface that is totally normally sports antics. It’s only Jamie’s little ‘wtf’ face that lampshades the true weirdness of a moment: this may be a teammate, but this is a dude he just met, someone he has no rapport with (compared to Dani, who created rapport through excitement and touching). But hey- new teammate, first match. As off of a moment it was, Jamie’s a team player now, so he did what he was told to do and passed the ball to Zava. And what a slap in the face that was, with Zava repeating one of the best goals we’ve seen from Jamie this who show.

Actual fucking mind games, this time. A pattern of them, in addition to singling Jamie out and asking if he’s the kitman when they first meet. Despite the fact that he already had his kit on. Despite the fact that he was in the middle of love-bombing everyone else.

And stealing Jamie’s goal. Which was so petty that even Roy Kent thought it was a bit too mean.

It’s not insidious, it’s not like he’s being bullied- but he is getting frozen out. Singled out by a player who walked in and made himself at home in Jamie’s spot.

Zava walks a careful, practiced line. He’s got a ton of experience on and off the pitch, and he knows where to give in and where to push. Dani can follow him around and touch him- he’ll allow it because Dani is harmless.

But I don’t think he thought Jamie was harmless. I think he saw Jamie as a threat, one that needed to be neutralized so that Zava could play in the manner he was accustomed to. Jamie is the ONLY one on the team that seemed to be trying to score - even the fucking announcers could see it.

So yeah, anytime Jamie stepped up a little too high, or seemed like he might be putting Zava’s reputation of #1 at risk, he would find these little footholds that he could use to climb over Jamie.

I think his grunt Zava gave when he lifted up the weight was the closest we got to Zava actually verbalizing his frustrations (also great metaphor, him lying under the weight and then shoving it off one last time. Good comparison to Colin ‘got-stuck-under-the-weights-that-time’ Hughes benching without a problem these days, like a strong and capable man). Richmond was on a losing streak, Jamie kept trying to button in on what should have been Zava’s goals, and now Jamie was also butting in on the leadership side as well.

The openly condescending thing to do would be to pet the top of Jamie’s hair like a dog, mussing it up. That’s a proper bully move. Instead he went for the back of the head and did that weird…..whatever that was. Was he combing his fingers through Jamie’s hair? Scratching him like a cat? Playing with his headband? Whatever it was it was out of focus, even though it was in front of a crowd. The same way that the first time was in the middle of a stadium, and yet so far away from anyone being able to see and hear what was happening. The only thing you could see, if you could be bothered to look away from Zava for a second, was how completely uncomfortable Jamie was with it. And I’m not sure the guys in the locker room noticed, not just because it’s Zava, but because on the surface nothing he’s done has stood out as a red flag.

‘Zava made a goal’ sounds better than ‘Zava stole that goal from Jamie’

‘Zava made a leader speech to motivate us’ sounds better than ‘Zava saw that Jamie was stepping up to encourage them, and felt the need to reassert himself by doing the same thing’

And ‘Zava is physically touchy with Jamie a few times’ sounds better than ‘Zava uses what should be perfectly safe locker room contact as a way to put Jamie in his place’.

[gottagobackintime]

Tedependent (and bi Ted) in season 3 episode 7

We have Ted whistling and being impressed by a man's hair “Look at that head of hair”. Ted and Trent have both talked about Trent's hair before "Because of the hair and the whole vibe?" and Ted's: "You know, they got a big old Ziploc bag full of your hair ties down at the lost and found. You should pop on down, if you still want 'em." As far as I can remember they are the only ones who has ever talked about Trent's hair in the show (correct me if I'm wrong). To compare it to another scene, we have a scene between Roy and Keeley, which is meant to be seen romantically between them where they say this: "Yeah. Woman with the hair." "Keeley Jones, The Independent Woman Magazine." A scene set in the pressroom where most of Ted and Trent's interactions, with a few exceptions, take place during season 1 and 2. She also uses The Independent as a joke about her being independent while still looking to be in a relationship. Which is similar to Trent always introducing himself in the pressroom with "Trent Crimm, The Independent." And Ted and Trent's last scene of season 2: "You know what this makes you now, though, right?" "Trent Crimm. Independent." Hair is also talked about with other couples we're supposed to look at romantically. Roy and Keeley, Higgins and his wife, Sam and Rebecca.

More under the cut:

When Beard is talking about Jane dropping hints and Ted thinks he’s talking about marriage but Beard is talking about pegging and Ted doesn’t seemed shocked or outraged or anything he just “Oh. Well, still.” Ted have been pegged confirmed??? (And then he asks what magazines contains the topic of pegging, just for normal reasons, no big deal). And while pegging can be enjoyed by people of all sexualities, I find it interesting that they brought that up and the "straight man in middle America" isn't at all fazed by that. Not even a double take, just "yup, that's a big commitment", with all the other hints that Ted is not straight... yeah...

“Hey, Trent” “Hello Ted” Now this isn't really evidence, because even non queer people say hello to each other. But I wanted to include it because it's just Ted that acknowledges that Trent is standing there. Beard and Roy doesn't say anything, nor does Trent say anything to them. It's an interesting moment to include, if they hadn't said anything no one would have really noticed. Because you'd just assume that they'd seen each other earlier that day so there is no need to say hello again. But they did include it. It's about Trent being present and Ted noticing it. It's like the scene in the last episode of season 2 when Trent is absent from the pressroom. Ted notices and he stops speaking for a moment while looking worried/confused. Only for him to be happy to see him, even admitting that he was worried he'd been injured. Ted's excitement when he sees Trent in Rebecca's office in season 3 episode 2. We see them talking after the match against West Ham (they could have had him talking to anyone, but he was talking to Trent). It's Trent being the one to notice and the first to acknowledge that something is wrong when Ted gets the text about Henry being in a bullying incident. It's the fact that these two seem to be drawn to each other, seeking each other out and noticing each other.

Ted not knowing what step number four is yet and Trent being obsessed with finding out what number four is. We even get to see his notes about it, something we haven’t seen before. And with Trent's newfound confidence since his talk with Colin, he's being more comfortable around Ted and Ted rewards him with smiling and even a touch to the shoulder (that Trent even reacts to by looking at his shoulder afterwards). Just look at the way he runs after Ted and just gushes over Ted's work as a coach. (Would he have done that pre-Amsterdam, I doubt it.)

Ted talking about people being put in boxes since an early age. (Children are always assumed to be straight and are often told to stay in that box for the rest of their lives). In Sunflowers Colin talks about not wanting to be a spokesperson, he just wants to live his life, to have his two lives combined. But if he were to come out he'd be a spokesperson whether he wants to or not. Because he'd be put in a box, his box would be "gay footballer". What boxes are Ted put into? American? White? Straight? Which one of those boxes are something he could have actually have been forced into? Straight. He may or may not have already realised that it's not a box he fits into. But to have him talk about being put into boxes when we know that he's being looked at as straight by everyone around him, including the TV audience...

Trent asking Ted if he thinks that it's a good idea to use a tactic the boys don't understand and while doing so he's holding his glasses with his little finger out (while we can see the two threads of red on Ted's jacket). Later Ted explains to the team: "In Japanese culture, they have a myth where they believe that all soulmates are connected by an invisible red string. And those strings are attached to each of their little fingers."

"Well, Trent, the way I see it, it's kind of like taking a hike with Robert Frost. It could go either way." That's a very bi thing to say, Ted. Also this poem by Robert Frost: The Road Not Taken: Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

Two roads, coming back to the other one another day, not knowing if you'll come back. Taken a road less traveled and that made all the difference. Pretty queer if you ask me. Especially considering bi people are constantly told to pick one, pick one side and stay there, you're either gay or straight, you can't walk both roads.

Ted feeling the need to express his individuality by growing facial hair. He didn’t go for the beard (because he didn’t want to hide his sexuality aka use a beard because Beard already had that) so he went with a goatee. And then Beard pointed out that he shouldn’t have a goatee right before he was about to walk down the isle (get married to a woman) and instead he went with a moustache. When we think of bisexuality and moustaches, who do we think of? Who do we know that Ted saw perform at Wembley in 1985? "I remember being a little kid, sitting in front of the television and watching Queen perform right over there during Live Aid." Who in Queen famously had a moustache? Freddie Mercury. Freddie Mercury who wrote "Love of my Life" for Mary Austin, his then girlfriend. Freddie who, as we all know later got together with Jim Hutton and they were together until he passed away. Ted has said that he will always love Michelle, because they are still family. He still loves her, but they are no longer together.

Trent running after Ted to excitedly tell him that it's going to work. Telling him how he's noticed what Ted has been doing for three seasons (again, it's about being seen). How he's created a space that is filled with trust and support, something he himself has been the recipient of. Ted has both trusted him (allowing Trent to write a book about the team, having him follow them around even after Trent wrote that article) and supported him (when Rebecca, Higgins and Keeley wanted him to say no to Trent and he said yes anyway, him telling Roy to knock it off with his treatment of Trent, Ted inviting him in to share his ideas).

“Yeah, but he’s our dork.” Ted says smiling fondly. It's about the fondness. Roy is the one who refers to Trent as a dork first, but Ted is the one who turns it into something that is only positive. He's smiling and to him, having Trent be their dork is something that makes him happy. The other two are more like "yeah, I guess he's cool" *shrugs*.

Does this mean that Ted and Trent will get together? No. But I do find it interesting to find all of these small details that connects the two of them. It's the way Trent went from "Is this a fucking joke?" to excitedly telling Ted that "It's going to work!". Ted changed Trent's life, and in a way I believe that Trent changed his. Trent doesn't have a problem asking the hard questions, but he also sees Ted. He can see that Ted is a mess (when it comes to coaching and possibly also on a personal level) and yet he believes in him. He challenges him on his tactics and his way of doing things, but he believes him and the thought of Ted succeeding makes him excited enough to run after him to tell him that he's done something with the team that is going to work. Something he could have told him calmly and in private, but he couldn't wait. He had to tell Ted right at that moment. It's the running through the airport at the end of the movie.

And as for Ted being bi or not. Well, I know that he's referred to himself as both straight and an ally. But as someone who once thought they were both straight and an ally before they realised that they were in fact bi, because they fell in love with a girl... he might not feel ready to deal with that, or like me he knew about his attraction to women in his case, men in mine and so we must be straight, and then just assumed that all straight people think that people of the same sex/gender are attractive.

[leupagus]

Beard and Nate: friends to enemies to God I hope they get to be friends again

One thing I found interesting about this episode is Beard and Jane's axe-throwing date with the bespoke Nate Crotch Targets. Leaving aside Beard's 17 axes, which he cannot imagine having in a different country (and I do love that at some point between probably season 1 and 2, when he and Ted decided to stay in the UK for the forseeable future instead of going home after those first four months, Beard had his axes shipped and has added to the pile since then. Also that Ted is aware of Beard's axe problem), the vitriol of that is something that's really narratively significant, I think. Because it speaks to the fact that Beard has not remotely forgiven Nate for what he did. And I think that says a lot about Beard as a person, and as a friend.

Beard and Ted have been friends for a long time — long before Wichita (remember, they were only there for one year) — and whatever their past may be, they have a loyalty to each other that is really remarkable. Yes, Beard came to the UK along with Ted; but Ted must have insisted on them as a package deal, and Beard would have a pretty nice salary from Richmond too, not to mention comparable company housing to Ted's pad. They're very close and comfortable talking about complicated, messy emotional stuff with each other — part of the reason the Diamond Dogs formed was because Ted and Beard's rapport began to expand to encompass Higgins and Nate. He sees those two as similar kinds of men, willing to honestly express their feelings and mutually support each other.

And then Nate starts to change.

Beard and Ted first clock it in the very first episode of season 2, in Nate's attitude toward Will (which I think is more Nate repeating the mistakes that his father made with him than Nate actively reveling in abuse — I have a whole BOOK I want to write about Lloyd and Nate's conversation in this past episode, I absolutely cried, don't look at me). Neither of them say anything, which I think would be a mistake if this was real life but in the show is meant to reflect the idea that "sometimes you can let people make mistakes and improve on their own, but sometimes you have to step in early." But Beard, throughout the season, watches Nate a little more carefully, and then when Nate really goes over the line with Colin, he finally steps in. Nate makes his public apology to Colin and things are seemingly fine — remember, Nate's awful comment to Will happens out of Beard's sight.

But Beard obviously doesn't stop watching Nate, because he figures out pretty much instantly that Nate was Trent's source for the story about Ted's panic attacks. Not only that, but the first thing Nate does when Beard sees him is to ask where Roy is, and then lie to him when Beard makes a pretty blatant comment about the article. Then later, when they're all talking with Roy about the Jamie & Keeley situation and Nate confesses about the kiss, Beard makes the flat "I'd be happy to punch you in the face" comment. Because from his perspective, Nate's done something absolutely awful and won't even admit to it, even though he'll readily admit to trying to kiss Keeley. (I'm not making any claims as to which one is "worse," but the show clearly wants to portray Nate talking to Trent as the bigger problem.) Then you have the fight between Nate and Ted (which Ted 10000% told Beard about, I cannot imagine a world where he didn't), the ripped sign, and Nate leaving the club to coach for Rupert Mannion.

As far as Beard can see, Nate took what Beard and Ted had given him — not the assistant coachship, but the camaraderie and trust — and used it to hurt Ted in the most cowardly way possible.

And I don't think Beard is right.

We still don't know exactly why or how Nate told Trent about the panic attacks (what I wouldn't give for THAT flashback), but I think the folks who assume he did it to advance his own career or at the behest of Rupert or something are way off. I think Nate's anger at Ted is a whole other essay, and this past episode has really made it clear how much it's tangled up in his expectations for himself as well as for his father-figures, but I don't think that it's something Beard has been able to understand. All he sees is the fallout from Nate and Ted's broken friendship, and the grief that caused Ted this past year. He's only seen the pain on one side and not the other.

So we have Beard celebrating Nate's departure from West Ham, despite (and maybe because of) the fact that Ted's already forgiven Nate. We see Beard slowly trusting Trent — who after all did write the article but who wasn't Ted's friend or confidante at the time and owed him absolutely nothing — but still willing to erect boundaries when he wants to (even if he pulls them down within 30 seconds). And what I hope we get in the next two episodes is Beard understanding Nate more and accepting that his friend still needs him.

And that his friend is Nate.

[gt-jar]

Hide 'n' Sleep

Word count: 1,665

Ted placed two plates on the table. A normal-sized one for himself and a much, much smaller one, that belonged to the young borrower he shared his apartment with. It's been almost two months since he officially started to foster the seven-year-old. Becoming a legal caretaker had made a positive impact on his life. One of the many things that changed for the better was that he actually put in the effort to cook a decent meal at least once every day, now that he was responsible for the well-being of another person. He, by far, wasn't the best cook, but he was doing his best, and so far the kid had liked everything he had served him, so he counted that as a win. Though, that most likely didn't have much to do with his cooking skills. His old living circumstances, the fact that the boy used to live mostly from scraps and wasn't picky at all when it came to food, definitely played a major part in that matter as well. The man still liked to think that the kid genuinely liked his food.

Today he had made something simple, mashed potatoes and grilled chicken slices.

Ted opened the drawer and took out two sets of silverware and placed them next to their respective plates. He already dreaded having to clean the tiny fork and knife. He lost count of how many times he had to replace them, after accidentally dropping them down the drain. But well, that was a problem for after dinner.

He walked into the living room area, after calling out to the borrower to announce his presence, and went over to the sofa, where they had been watching TV together, before he had started to make dinner. But when he looked over the back of the sofa there was no borrower to be seen.

"Pip?" Ted called softly.

When the man didn't receive an answer, he carefully lifted up the cushions. Sometimes the kid liked to hide under them and fell asleep. But again the borrower wasn't there. Ted looked around, trying to spot the small boy. It wasn't really a surprise when he didn't. At his size the borrower could be hiding anywhere.

Luckily, his hiding spots were limited to the living room, since the kid hadn't told him that he wanted to leave the room. It was one of the few rules the borrower had to follow. If Pip wanted to enter or exit a room, he had to tell Ted, and vice versa. This way the borrower could move safely on his own, and the man didn't need to watch his steps all the time. Pip knew how important that rule was, especially for his own safety, he wouldn't break it without a good reason, so the chances for him still being in the same room were high.

Knowing Pip the kid was probably laughing at him from his hiding spot, like the little gremlin he was. He might as well just play along.

"Man, I knew that my cooking skills weren't the greatest, but I didn't think they were so bad that you needed to hide from them," Ted drawled with a smile on his face.

When he still didn't get a reply and couldn't hear the familiar sound of poorly muffled laughter, he was getting a little nervous. Usually the kid would have popped out of this hiding spot to "scare" him by now. His little schemes never lasted this long.

Ted stepped around the furniture, now very mindful of each step, and knelt down to look under the sofa and the coffee table, in case Pip fell asleep while waiting for him to finish cooking. When he wasn't there either the man began to check more possible hiding spots. The bookshelf, the dresser, behind the TV.

And every time.... nothing.

With each empty hiding place and unanswered call, the tension in his shoulders began to increase a bit more.

"C'mon bud, your food is getting cold. We can play later if you want."

Yet again, no answer.

He began to wonder. Did something happen? Did he say or do something wrong? Before he had started to cook Pip had been dozing on the back of the sofa, perfectly content. He was aware that sometimes borrowers that were in the room mate or the foster program choose to move back into the walls. Living with a human was the borrower's choice and theirs only, if they wanted to leave there really wasn't anything humans could do about it. But why would Pip want to leave? Ted had the impression that the boy liked living with him, even though he still sometimes wondered why. He wouldn't call himself great parent material and the wish to be one never really crossed his mind, until Pip came along and changed things.

Sure, they had a rocky start, but against all odds Pip had liked Ted from the very start and wanted to live him, even after being given the opportunity to move in with a family that was better suited for a kid his age. And yet the young borrower had wanted to hear none of it, and instead chose to stay with him, as if it was the most obvious choice in this world.

The possibility that he left just like that, without any hints, simply seemed too absurd.

Coming to this conclusion should have been at least somewhat reassuring, but all it did was bring up worse reasons for the borrower's sudden vanishing in his head. Images of Pip being hurt or unconscious and unable to call for help flashed across his mind.

Ted tried calling out again, fear causing his voice to raise, something he normally avoided given the borrowers' sensitive hearing.

"PIP?"

Ted held his breath and listened closely, trying to pick up even the tiniest sound in hope to somehow locate the borrower. At first he feared that only silence would answer him, but then he heard sleepy mumbling coming from somewhere behind him and just a moment later-

"Teddyyy why are y' shoutin'?" Pip grumbled, his voice slurred from sleep.

Ted turned his head to see where the voice was coming from, it sounded incredibly close, though he still couldn't spot the kid even after fully turning around.

He wasn't hearing voices, was he? He frantically looked around, still unable to spot the kid.

Ted almost feared that his mind was playing tricks on him, but then he felt light tugging on his hood and a moment later he could see the kid, rubbing his eyes with a fist, out of the corner of his eye. The man let out a sigh of relief and reached over his shoulder, wrapping the borrower in a loose fist.

"Oh Pip, there you are," Ted whispered as he pulled the boy close to his chest, relishing in the feeling of holding the kid safe in his hands again.

Meanwhile Pip happily snuggled closer to him and latched onto his shirt, always soaking up any kind of affection like a sponge. Yet, as he pressed his head against the man's chest, there was something keeping him from fully enjoying their cuddle session.

"Why is your heart beating so fast?" The boy asked with a frown.

God.... this kid.

If the man still had any hair to turn gray, this kid would be the reason for every single one.

"Why? I couldn't find you and you didn't answer me when I called, that's why."

Ted pulled the small boy away from his chest and held him on eye level. Pip wasn't too happy about their cuddle time being cut short, but didn't make much of a fuss and switched to hugging Ted's thumb instead. Ted met his eyes with a stern gaze, it made Pip avoid eye contact and his tail started to swish back and forth. It was a habit, Ted had noticed, something the borrower always did when he was embarrassed, nervous or anxious.

Good. The kid at least had the decency to feel guilty.

Ted didn't like being stern, but he needed Pip to know that couldn't do something like this again. Or else he would get a heart attack before reaching his 60's.

"I'm not mad, okay?", Ted patiently waited for Pip to meet his eyes again before continuing, "But I was worried about you. What were you doing in my hood anyway?"

"Well uhm... I was tired and... and your hood looked really comfy," Pip looked away again and his next words weren't more than a whisper, "and I wanted to be close to you."

And there went his lecture he had mentally prepared in his head already. Y'know? Like any good parent did.

Just like that. Gone. Poof.

He had always thought of himself as a tough guy, but this tiny kid never failed to make him utterly melt. The man had a hard time suppressing a coo, as he pulled the kid close again. This time he brought him to his face, so he could nuzzle the boy's chest with his nose, who in turn instinctively hugged it.

"How am I supposed to scold you for scaring me half to death, if you are being this adorable?" Ted said more to himself than anything else, Pip still mumbled a quiet 'sorry' back. Seriously, who gave that kid the right to be this precious?

"Just tell me the next time you decide to climb in my hood, 'kay?"

Pip, still being a bit dozy, just hummed. And that was good enough for Ted, who only truly cared about the kid being safe and sound.

A loud rumble coming from Pip's stomach reminded Ted of the reason why he had come to the living room. He had almost forgotten about dinner after all this fuss.

"Come on, let's see if I need to heat up our food again, sounds like someone is hungry," Ted laughed as he made his way to the kitchen, still cradling Pip in his hands.

And if Pip spent the next morning slouching in Ted's hood, while he was making breakfast, and many times after that, no one else needed to know.

[dufferpuffer]

Dufferpuffer Lupin fiend… I want to know what you think: do you think Lyall knew about the Order of the Phoenix? Do you think he knew what his son got up to after graduation?

I believe he’d be very eager to support his son (financially, offering him a home), and Remus would be very eager to decline that support - but would he eventually say “it’s fine dad, I actually don’t need a job because I’ve been camping out at my rich friend’s house, which became a headquarters for a guerrilla, which I fight for full time, so don’t worry about me”?

I have a small obsession with Lyall and I am a Lyall survivalist (I believe he lived to bury his son). The reason for my obsession is because I hate the old overused children’s adventure trope of dead parents! I think it’s delicious to try to make sense of a relationship that could be very complex and problematic.

Could he have been someone like Andromeda and Ted, not an order member, but a distant supporter? Or would he disapprove completely? Or would he be completely ignorant?

it is I, the Loopy Lupin Fiend I too am a Lyall Survivalist - I wrote a little thing ages ago, just a tiny little story about Lyall walking up to accept Remus' Merlin of Honor on his behalf while being haunted by what he has said about werewolves in the past. Just a silly thing :) Maybe needs a rewrite idk, i'm no writer. I'm a yapper. I yap.

Remus is the sort of man who cuts off those he cares about most. If it weren't for the war he would have NEVER spoken to Harry, Sirius, Albus... anyone ever again. He would have fled when Tonks showed any amount of love for him. He would have fled Arthur's unwavering support and Molly's kindness despite her fears and prejudice.

He would have held their positive feelings in his heart like treasured memories and not dared ruin them with the disappointment he would surely bring. Leave them happy.

That is what I think he did to his father. He 'killed' his mother, after all. Just a sweet accepting Muggle, and she died earlier than she should - after his childhood left her thin and weak from stress. (of course he DIDN'T kill her, but the stress parents show when looking after disabled children... it hurts us. Speaking as a disabled child, it hurts a lot seeing parents suffer from being unable to help. it feels like it is our fault for being unwell, confusing and hard. Remus is the type to REALLY blame himself.)

He didn't want to put financial or social strain on his father, who already would have been a target: Specializing in the study of Boggarts and Dementors and such - the exact Dark Creatures Death Eaters use... alongside the fact he insulted Fenrir personally...

I don't think Remus told him shit. I think Remus cut contact completely, at least for the war - maybe, hesitantly, letting his dad know he was alive afterwards... But the best thing he can do for the people he loves is let them live without him - and I think he truly loves and idolizes his dad. He knows Dementors inside and out, and the first think he caught and taught at Hogwarts was Boggarts. His dads specialty.

I think Lyall would be supportive of the whispers of an 'Order of the Pheonix', a secret group maybe perhaps curated by Dumbledore. An underground illegal militia working outside the Ministry. He may have worked with the ministry himself sometimes - but he has seen their incompetence first-hand and experienced their lack of support for the most vulnerable in society.

But if he knew Remus was a part of it all he would do was worry, even if he was proud of his son... so Remus wouldn't tell him. If anything - just let him know he was safe and well (even if its a lie) and he wasn't being pulled in by Fenrir's nonsense.

I like to think he wrote to Lyall telling him he was going to work at Hogwarts. Albus hired him - he was going to be a professor!!! That every time he wrote to his dad it was good news, and Lyall treasured the fleeting contact with his son - even if he knew if he ever wrote back "Come see me sometime!!!" Remus wouldn't respond.

[i-n3ver-hated-you]

My opinion on Jaren in The Blood Traitor:

Spoilers.

Frankly, Kiva is having a goddamn awful time in the last book.

First of all, she is hooked on angle dust and back in a place she'd thought she'd finally escaped. Not so good. But Cresta is helping her through it. (I love Cresta.)

Then she's kidnapped by Navok, who basically makes her his slave. She's rescued (yay!) everyone hates her (nay!).

When they're in the market and they're trying to get information about the rings out of that seer lady (I don't remember her name, sorry), she gives Kiva two options: kiss Jaren (the person who she is under the impression hates her) or take some angle dust (which she had previously been addicted to, and only recently recovered from). That is such an awful thing to do. The fact that Kiva chooses the angles dust over Jaren shows how much she's doing for him. He hates her. She doesn't choose that option because of that.

Later, she says, half delirious, "I’m in love with him, can you believe it?". I'm not really sure how to put what I'm thinking into words, but you can see what she did for him, right?

And then he kissed her when she was under the influence, half-unconscious and falling asleep?! What the fuck, Jaren. You need the tea talk.

Anyway, after Jaren nearly dies falling off that cliff, Kiva is crying a bit (understandable), but he kind of makes fun of her for it—at least, that's the was I saw it.

Then,

Jaren: You’ve been avoiding me. I have no idea how you feel. So I asked.

Kiva: I’ve been avoiding you because it’s what you want.

Jaren: I’ve been trying to talk to you for days, you know that. It’s been incredibly frustrating. You’ve been avoiding me because you’re afraid.

Kiva: I’m not afraid.

Jaren: You are. You’ve barely been able to look at me for weeks.

Kiva: You’re the one who wouldn’t look at me! You told me you wanted nothing to do with me — so I gave you that!

Jaren: I lied.

He says "I lied" like Kiva should have known that, should have seen through him and talked to him or whatever. It's like he expects, after a whole book of hating—or at least seeming to hate—her, that she accept that he was lying. That it was all fake. I think that's unfair. He's assuming that Kiva is avoiding him because she's "afraid", and completely ignoring his own actions. If I was Kiva, I would also be avoiding him because, know know, he's acting like he hates me.

By saying Kiva is afraid, it's a little bit like pinning all the angst on her. Which, yes, to be fair she did technically steal his powers, but their angsting is on both of them.

I think Jaren has a good reason for hating her. I would to if she'd stolen my magical powers. The thing that makes me hate him, however, and not her, is the fact that after spending the whole book ignoring her, being rude, and implying that he hates her and never wants to have anything to do with her ever again, he says "I could never hate you, Kiva." It seems, to me, a bit like he's gaslighting her.

He proceeds to tell her all the ways it isn't her fault. A good thing, but it goes against everything he's said and acted for the whole book.

I get that they obviously need to make up and stuff, but I think it could have been done better. In enemies(ish) to lovers, it tends to work better (for me) if they do hate each other and don't deny it. It's more like "I hated you before, but I don't anymore" instead of "I've pretended to hate you, but I actually don't".

Because Jaren does have a real reason to hate her. He could have just said like "I'm sorry for being an ass, but I promise I see you are now. And it's not your fault." I think that would make more sense.

Anyway, this is, once again, just my opinion. I'm not trying to be particularly hateful and if you loved this book, good for you.

I hope this made sense, thank you for coming to my TED talk, bonne journee :)

[promptsforyourwhumpfic]

WT 2024 #20: "Giving Permission to Die"

The Sentry and the Strays - My science fiction universe set in the distant future.

Summary: After a harrowing rescue, Ted gives Charlie permission to die.

WC: 1322

“I’ll watch him.” 

The three words took Kydd by surprise. He craned his aching neck to take in the surprise visitor. Of all people, he was not expecting his chief engineer to be watching from the door. 

“Ted.” He rasped, a little surprised at the intrusion at such a late hour. His hand hadn’t left Charlie's hand. 

“I’ll watch him.” Ted said again, a complicated expression on his face. Kydd’s heart began to pound a little. He knew Charlie was going to be fine - he knew he wasn’t doing any good just sitting by and waiting. But there was something about this kid that got under his skin and etched through his veins. 

Suddenly, Ted was at his side, shifting from foot to foot as though fighting his instincts to walk away as he had done so many times before. Just the fact he was in the room told Kydd he was serious. 

Finally, the man met his eyes. 

“You’re exhausted. I can watch him, at least for a little while so you can eat, shower and get some sleep in an actual bed.” Said Ted, only to be met by a scoff. 

“What makes you think I haven’t been.” Uttered Kydd. 

“Because you’ve been here for days.” 

“You’re not the first person to be telling me that.” 

“Then let me be the first to tell you that you’re not doing anyone any favours by just sitting here. Charlie’s not going anywhere and I know you want to promise him that you’ll stay, but sleep while you can, he’ll need you to be strong for him when he wakes up. I know for a fact that he wouldn’t notice you missing for a few hours.”

Kydd’s eyes filled with tears, and Ted’s face contorted in discomfort and concern. 

“Like how we didn’t notice that he’d gone.” The Captain rasped. Ted’s heart shattered. 

“No. We didn’t.” He amended after a moment. “But running yourself into the ground isn’t going to solve that.”

“You’re- you’re right, I should rest.” Kydd sniffed and stood, still reluctant to let go of Charlie’s hand. Ted slipped his hand between them, allowing Kydd to finally let go. He stood idle for a moment, feeling troubled by being untethered from the boy. He swallowed, thanked Ted with a clap on the shoulder, and shuffled off on creaking knees, allowing his body to adjust to the motions of walking. 

Without thinking Ted took his place in the chair; still warm from days of having someone occupy it. He spent the next few hours just watching, and waiting. It was intoxicating. The anticipation that something could happen at any moment had him glued to the spot, and within minutes he was hooked; he understood why others had spent hours alone with him. It was as soothing as it was disconcerting; to be alone, though not truly. 

Ted took in every detail he had tried to forget since they pulled him from the rubble. The metal brace on his leg created a considerable landscape from under blankets desperate to keep his temperature at a normal level, despite the low level fever that had been present in the last forty-eight hours. 

Due to the harsh nature of some of the restorative medicine they had to hand, Charlie's body was still covered in deep scrapes, bruises and burns that had been left to heal in the open air. His head was their biggest concern. He’d taken a tremendous blow when the station disintegrated around him, and the rooms bled O2 faster than he could breathe, so it was a matter of time before they found out the true extent of the damage. 

Would he remember them? Did Ted want him to remember? The harsh words, the rejection and the expectation for him to just make it on his own? Would he want Charlie to remember the pain? Given the sheer damage caused to his already malnourished body - only malnourished after so many months away from the Strays - would it be kinder to let him go? HIs ribs had already been broken by a previous round of CPR just trying to get him back to the safety of the Arc; another round would surely kill him… 

“Charlie, Kydd would never say this - he’d never want to… but I’ll understand if you don’t want to wake back up. You’ve done enough. You don’t have to give us the satisfaction of being able to apologise to you… you don’t have anything to prove. You showed us your loyalty time and time again. And we owe you everything but I’d understand if you never wanted to take it. I wouldn’t blame you if you use us to fully heal, steal a ship and never look back. I don’t blame you if you want to turn any of us in. I don't blame you if the first thing you do is shout and scream and curse us out. I deserve it atleast. Looking back, I had every opportunity to find out what you meant. I had every means to understand your circumstances but I simply refused because I was angry and- and petty. I mean this with my whole heart Charlie that I never hated you. I hated your circumstances. I hated where you came from so much that I didn’t even get to see the man you had become. I was so afraid of losing everything I knew, that I nearly lost something equally as important. My family - you.” 

Ted didn’t realise he was crying until a terrible sob tore from his throat. 

“S-so I don’t blame you if you decide that sleeping is kinder than the outside world. I do not blame you if you decide to rejoin the stars. One day I’ll join you, if you let me that is… but then I don’t blame you if even in death you prefer to remain alone…

Just remember you don't have to be - not anymore.”

Ted took his free hand to wipe the tears, steading his breaths to at least remain somewhat composed should someone walk in. In that moment, he felt exposed and vulnerable - an uncomfortable feeling nonetheless, only made worse by Charlie’s stillness broken by the occasional rise and fall of his chest from the oxygen mask. Aia said that a positive was that he was now breathing on his own - a huge step up from how they found his lifeless body - yet he was terrified that he’d just stop. Despite every permission he’d just given Charlie, his biggest fear was that the younger man would actually take him up on them. But when was Charlie one to follow the rules? Ever since they met, if he didn’t like or agree with something, he made sure to change it to suit the logic in his mind. He couldn’t complain as the job got done, and over time Ted grew to appreciate the gymnastics that Charlie’s mind went through to get to his conclusions. 

The second Ted stopped trying to correct him, and rather work with him, the easier their relationship became. 

“I see what Kydd means by you getting under our skin.” Ted huffed, somewhat annoyed, though if anyone was there to hear him they’d know he was being far from malicious. The tears began to flow, this time in earnest as Ted’s chest heaved. 

“You are worth so much more than you will ever know, to all of us, Charlie. I know why you did what you did but… It shouldn’t have been you. You didn’t have to fix something you didn’t break. You didn’t have to go to those lengths…”

“But he did.” 

Ted’s tear-filled eyes snapped to the end of the bed, where Yve stood, smiling sadly at the pair. Startled, the engineer immediately stood; chair launching behind him as he tried to smooth his clothes despite the teardrops on his tunic. He cleared his throat.

“He did.” Nodded Ted. “Stubborn bastard.”

[coraniaid]

Just thinking about this post some more.  

Really, there are so many instances in Season 3 alone of Buffy either having experiences that directly parallel things Faith must also have gone through or explicitly telling her friends that she can personally relate to Faith or just generally advocating for Faith as a person. 

Off the top of my head, we’ve got:

Buffy’s dismal one bedroom apartment in LA (in Anne) mirroring Faith’s motel room in Sunnydale

Buffy packing as if she’s planning to run away again in Dead Man’s Party, just one episode before Faith does the same thing when she hears about Kakistos being back in town

Buffy approvingly telling Giles at the end of Faith, Hope & Trick that Faith “had a lot to deal with, but she did it” and being inspired by her example to finally admit the truth of what happened to Angel last season

Buffy telling Cordelia in Homecoming how much she resents the fact that Slaying is “all I do; this is what my life is” and how she wishes she could one day pick up a yearbook and say she went to high school and had friends (compare this with Faith’s admission a couple of episodes ago that she dropped out of high school in part because she really didn’t have any friends)

Buffy telling Willow and Xander in The Wish that she’s been trying to reach out to Faith and that she realizes that “Slaying’s a rough gig; too much alone time isn’t healthy”

Buffy being betrayed in consecutive episodes by her mother (in Gingerbread; compare with Faith’s “my dead mother hits harder than that” or "mom was so busy drinking and enjoying the passing out parts of life") and by her Watcher (in Helpless; compare with Faith being betrayed by Gwendolyn Post)

Buffy’s “ode to Faith” during the chemistry test in Bad Girls (“it was intense … I don’t think [anyone else] can [understand it].  It’s kind of a Slayer thing”)

Buffy insisting to both Angel and Giles in Consequences that, whatever she says, Faith wants to be helped (“she just doesn’t know how to say it”)

Buffy telling Willow in Doppelgangland that Faith “had it rough” and that in “different circumstances, that could be me” (something the audience knows is true from The Wish)

Buffy wondering if Angel and Faith might be getting a little too intimate, and when Willow tells her not to worry about being cheated on saying “you’re right, Faith would never do that”.

And that’s not even mentioning how Buffy must have felt about seeing her own first Watcher die, or how she reacted to coming back to Sunnydale and finding out that the Master might still be alive (in When She Was Bad) or her experiences with Ted in Ted, or of being kicked out of her house in Becoming.  It’s not mentioning any of what Buffy later goes through in Season 6 (dragging herself from the grave the way Faith does in her coma dreams; suddenly having to struggle for money and make sense of a world in which she finds herself without control or purpose; being convinced that she’s killed an innocent person and wanting to die).

But the thing all these examples have in common is that Faith is not present to see or hear any of them, and (presumably) never finds out about them after the fact either.  I mean, she probably wouldn’t believe that these things had happened even if somebody had told her (and who would tell her?). 

The image of Buffy that Faith spends all season building up in her head – the perfect Slayer she’s always being unfairly compared to, the girl who gets the Watcher and the Mom and the friends; the impossible standard she’s never going to reach no matter how hard she might try – doesn’t have these flaws.  The Buffy Faith has nightmares about in Season 4’s This Year’s Girl, and whose life she tries to take over in the same season’s Who Are You? doesn’t have these flaws.  The Buffy Faith sees is a perfect Slayer who’s convinced she’s better than Faith ("admit it, you think you're better than me!"); and Faith can’t see past this image because it's something that deep down she herself agrees with.

In Enemies, Faith bemoans the fact that “everyone always asks: why can’t you be more like Buffy?  But did anyone ever ask if [Buffy] could be more like me?”.  And the answer is … yes, actually.  Buffy herself did.  Just not when Faith was around to hear it. 

[abubblingcandle]

Personal Beliefs and Headcanons about Jamie Tartt's upbringing

This is a continuation of a discussion with @fanficfanattic that was kinda derailing talk about Phil Dunster's approach to Jamie Tartt's accent but is something that I am super passionate about so did want to put somewhere and foster discussion with other people about it.

Disclaimer - Again I am not someone who grew up in this exact situation that we see Jamie in but it permeates through my life and my family. I can only talk about things like this from personal experience and how much I relate to Jamie being from a working class Northern family and currently being in my mid 20s with parents who were in poverty and one who lived in council housing. Those of you who have read my fanfics know that I put a lot of my specific experiences into talks about Jamie's backstory (I have literally today been writing more of a chapter where Jamie talks about cheap ways that his mum tried to keep him out of trouble during the summer holidays lol) and so I am always happy to talk about hyperspecific headcanons or my experiences if anyone wants to

So yeah, the discussion was about Jamie being a battler partially because of where he was raised not just because of his father

Jamie as a battler is something that is so so important to me. He even says it in S1 “do you think I could have got from a council estate in North Manchester to the Premier League just by doing what everyone else did” and it gets sort of brushed off as a teachable moment with Keeley saying people are just trying to help him and he needs to let them. It doesn’t get talked about much more than as a part of his smugness and selfishness in S1 but it is more than likely that given Jamie’s history there would have been so few if any people in his past that did just want to help him for the sake of helping him. It also ties into his obsession with Ted’s actions being mind games. Because having people genuinely wanting him to succeed just because he’s Jamie ... foreign idea. 

I can just see Baby Jamie at a criminally underfunded primary school in North Manchester telling everyone that he was going to be a premier league footballer and getting fond laughs and being told that maybe if he worked hard he might be able to get into a good trade, like an electrician. (For me I wanted to be an journalist and was told that maybe a simple good paying job like an air hostess or a hairdresser would be a much better target, not like that’s stayed with me or anything). 

Even if you take James Tartt Sr out of the picture, Jamie would have had to fight for everything and stand up for himself to achieve his goals. It is likely as a young single mum that Georgie would have been out a lot working leaving Jamie to look after himself from a young age and do things like making sure he got to football training (showing that drive and that fact he mentioned, he had to be different to other people to succeed) and little things like making sure he looked after his kit himself so it was ready and lasted as long as possible.

The second part to this is the fact that mindset is so so so hard to lose. My mum worked her arse off and got herself out of that cycle of extreme poverty through smarts and luck and even though we now have enough to live on, there are little things about being raised in an environment where you were an afterthought and didn’t have enough that don’t leave you - either through over compensating the other way (when you have money spending it frivolously because suddenly buying that nice thing you want wouldn't mean that you don't eat) or refusing to spend money on something because you don't need to and it's a waste to spend it (even if the amount of money doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things anymore). I see Jamie mostly in the first category (the designer clothes, fancy cars, sculptures in his house, willing to buy everyone PS5s to get them to like him without batting an eye at the cost) but likely with little money saving things that he just can't shake.

[positivexcellence]

Jared Padalecki on That ‘Walker’ Finale, Cordi & Geri, 13-Episode Seasons, and More

Ok, first off…congratulations. You got renewed! And you’re lucky, because if you gave us this finale and then left us hanging, you were gonna be in so much trouble.

Jared Padalecki: No s**t, right? I was like, “Can we just write the season to figure out what happened? We don’t have to film it, but if you don’t mind just writing it?” [Laughs]

Obviously it sucks that it’s only 13 episodes, but I also like that idea because that gives you a lot more time to prep story and streamline it.

You know, Jensen [Ackles] and I asked for 13-episode seasons of Supernatural, many, many, many times. As a matter of fact, I feel like if we had done 13-episode seasons of Supernatural, we’d probably still be doing Supernatural right now. Because it’s hard to do a long network season while also trying to be a husband and a father and friend.

I think Jim Beaver at one of our Comic-Con panels said about 22 or 23-episode seasons, “You know, even if it’s the best batter on the planet, if Ted Williams goes to bat 23 times, he’s gonna strike out a few times.” And so I think a shortened season would just be a really strong, action-packed, story-packed season where we don’t have to do an episode like “Bugs” in Season 1 of Supernatural. [Laughs]

How did the cast hear?

I kind of told them yesterday, I talked to Brad Schwartz [the new CW president] and they totally tricked me. I was doing hyperbaric chamber stuff…after my TBI last year, I try to get hyperbaric [therapy] when I can for brain health and I got out to all these missed messages, like “Hey, we need to do some press for the finale,” and “Hey, will you call into The CW because they have some reporters that want to do this.” And I was like, “Oh, s**t, sorry! On it!”

So I called in and Brad answers like, “Hey, bud… so I just wanted to touch base with you.” And he went on for a few minutes about how I need to do some interviews since the writers are on strike and can’t do them. And I was like “Sure thing,” I was ready. Then finally, he goes, “Well in that case, we are also excited to bring Walker back for Season 4.” I was so totally not expecting that conversation, right? I was in the head space of like, “Okayyyyy, now…what was the finale about again?” [Laughs]

And it’s so nice because we had a little tradition on Supernatural and now on Walker, at the end of the season, where they’d let me give the news. And I had asked Brad many months ago, we had chatted and I asked, “Hey, if it’s good news or bad news, can I be the one to break it to my cast and crew?” Obviously I hoped it would be good news, but even if it was bad news, you know, I’m the face they see every day at work and I’d love to be the one to just tell them thank you. So they’re all thrilled.

Now…did you make any calls to Justin Johnson Cortez? Because he turned up in this finale and that would be awesome to see him again. What he brings into this episode launches a whole new Jackal storyline.

Oh yeah, big time. I would love to see him come back. And yeah, you know, we have this cold case where it’s something that really drove Captain James to the brink back when we originally dealt with it and never felt we’d solved it…and maybe we haven’t. And how does that connect with Witt and our Park Ranger, who is a little more than fishy?

And I gotta tell you, the kids are growing up so nicely. Violet is so good.

She’s so good. Yeah. And we knew that from the get-go. I think some of the early themes in Season 1 where she’s kind of rebelling a little bit, we would shoot her and after we wrapped, I’d get on the phone with Anna [Fricke, the showrunner] and be like, “Holy shit, this young lady, she’s got something.” It’s a joy to work with her… and Kale Culley is growing up and becoming like, Jared Padalecki, Season 1 of Gilmore Girls. [Laughs] It’s uncanny and he’s such a strong performer, too.

Their scene in the finale where she comes in to support him after Cordi tells him to defer his military plans, I was struck by how well they carry their own scenes. The adults could literally take an episode off and they could carry it.

I like the way you’re thinking. I’m gonna talk to writers. Tell them you said that and that I could have an episode off. [Laughs]

There you go. Now when did we find out about Ashley Reyes’ singing?

Uh, how amazing is that? What, and Kearran? So we knew Ashley could sing, she’d gone to [the London Academy of Music & Dramatic Art] out in the UK and she’s like a triple, quadruple threat, whatever you’d call it. She sings, she dances, she acts. She’s funny. She’s dramatic. She’s a home run for sure. She and Kearran…that was a lot of fun. I found myself breaking into Jared sometimes when we were shooting. I was like, “These girls are amazing, right?” [Laughs]

It also felt like, if this show had not been picked up, what a great episode to have as one of your last? It’s just a huge party, there’s all this love, you’re sending off Bonham and Abby to their Italian honeymoon. It was a really joyful episode…aside from the serial killer stuff.

[Laughs] So true! Yeah, fair enough!

Now, the way this season ends is very interesting, because Augie went to grandpa first with the military stuff and then Stella calls in Liam (Keegan Allen) to help with a dead body. How’s Cordi gonna feel about this? And also, how bad is gonna be for Liam holding this secret?

Well, as you know I did a show for 15 years about brothers who had a complicated relationship, you know, who would do anything for each other but also kind of upset each other and crossed boundaries for so long. And I love those stories. So it definitely makes sense that Walker, especially on the night that he decides to do something for himself — he asks Geri to move in for the summer and he’s not really the type to do something for himself like that, he’s not the “I’m gonna take a me day,” right? So he invites Geri in and now he’s about to find out not only did his son tell him earlier that he went to gramps to ask about enlisting, but that his daughter witnessed what might be a murder, but was certainly an attack — something that Walker would deal with in his line of work — and she went to his brother instead. Uh, so yeah, I don’t think he’s gonna be super thrilled about it. [Laughs]

Thank God he’s got Geri to talk him down from the ledge though.

Yeah, yeah. Put him in his place, talk him down.

I love that she danced down the aisle with the kids. Not only is Odette always fantastic, but that just showed how Geri is truly family now.

For sure, and there’s also something I’ve liked since our first scene together in Season 1. I knew Odette vaguely, you know, I think we had met two or three times at random Comic-Cons or award shows or something and she’s always pretty sweet and we always like got along fine. I didn’t really know her know her like I do now, but ever since that first scene in the Side Step where Walker and Liam show up, there seemed to be a depth between Cordi and Geri, like they knew each other’s skeletons, they knew each other’s demons, and they knew how to call each other on their bulls**t. Mostly her calling me on my bulls**t. [Laughs]

That was something I really liked. And so to see Walker have a relationship with somebody that can go like, “Hey, I’ve known you for decades and decades, something is going on. What’s going on? You’re not gonna run past this.” Because Walker can always pull the law-enforcement card and say, “Oh, I’m just worried about this or that…no, I just got something on my mind,” and she is able to go, “Nope…there’s something else going on.” And so I love that dynamic.

Have you talked about casting The Jackal?

We have. Who, who are you thinking?

Well, obviously Jim Beaver would be hilarious.

Oh my God, that would be hilarious.

Or you go get Scott Patterson…

Oh God, that would be great, right?! And I’m gonna see him soon. Again, I like your thinking! I like the cut of your jib. [Laughs] I like those few ideas, so when the writers are allowed to have conversations legally, I’ll have that conversation with them!

tvinsider

[threewaywithdelusion]

RoyJamieKeeley Fic

Still working on my RoyJamieKeeley post-S3 fic. I got stuck again for a while, but I got unstuck tonight, so he's a little snippet to celebrate.

A few days later, Keeley and Jamie left for Brazil for Jamie’s Nike shoot. Left alone for a week, Roy tried to keep busy so he wouldn’t think about them. He spent time with Phoebe, who was starting to get impatient for summer holiday but could be convinced to spend all her wayward energy on playing football with Roy. He saw the yoga mums twice, once for actual yoga and once for a night of drinking wine, watching rom coms, and gossiping. He told them he’d gotten back together with his ex-girlfriend and they all smiled and told him how happy they were for him and how much more of a grump he’d been without her. Roy didn’t mention that said girlfriend was dating another man at the same time and told himself it was just leaving out unimportant information and not actually lie, but he wasn’t sure he believed himself. 

Roy also had a meeting with Rebecca, who told him she wanted to promote him to manager of Richmond. He called her mad to her face and she still seemed to think giving him the job was a good idea. 

“I don’t want to do press conferences and shit,” Roy said. 

Rebecca was unfazed. “Here are my options, Roy. I can make you manager, which is a job I think you’ll be good at. You know football, you know these boys, and they trust you, which makes you the best fit. I can make Nate manager, which I don’t particularly want to do after he defected to West Ham last year. He has experience and the boys seem to have forgiven him, but I don’t trust him enough yet to give him that much power. The other option is to bring in someone from outside the club. Higgins gave me a list of candidates and a lot of them are very qualified and are interested in working for Richmond now that we placed second in the Premier League, because they think they can get us a trophy next year. However, anyone I bring in is going to have their own style and they’re going to undo all the hard work Ted’s done over the past three years. And what Ted did, however unconventional, has been working for us. So, if you don’t take the job, any thoughts on how I should proceed?”

Roy grunted. It was a good argument and Rebecca knew it. 

Roy liked coaching Richmond. He didn’t really want to work with some new shitbag coach who would come in acting like he knew anything. Who might tell the team to stop playing total football or take that shitty, ripped-up “believe” sign off the wall. Who might not flip Jamie off in the middle of a game or push him to go back out even with an injured ankle. Who might not support Sam’s protests when they cost the club their main sponsor or might not like the fact that Colin had a boyfriend. Who might not defend Isaac in a post-game interview after Isaac attacked a fan in the stands for his homophobic comments or who would hear that famous women got their private photos leaked and react with less horror than the rest of the Richmond boys. 

Roy liked the culture Ted had created at Richmond. Sure, his methods had been downright insane at times, but they’d worked. This was a team that respected Keeley and Rebecca, that accepted Colin, and that tried to be good people as much as they tried to be good footballers. 

Roy didn’t want to lose that. 

“Fuuuuck,” he said, a curse of resignation and realization. 

Rebecca knew him far too well at this point, because she just smiled victoriously. “I’ll have Higgins send you the paperwork this week. We’re also going to be looking at player transfers, so I’ll send you tapes for anyone we’re considering. Do you have any thoughts about which players we should take a look at?”

Roy grunted. He’d had this job for all of three seconds and Rebecca was already giving him work. He hadn’t even told Keeley yet. 

“We need a centre back with more speed,” he said. 

“Noted,” Rebecca said. 

On the way home, Roy felt a strange kind of loneliness take over him. 

He’d gotten a promotion and even though he’d resisted it, he kind of wanted to celebrate. Like when Keeley had been made a CEO of her own company and they’d popped champagne and Roy had spun her around and they’d fallen into bed together. 

But Keeley was halfway around the world with Jamie. On vacation, even though she’d refused to go on vacation with Roy to Marbella last year. And Roy knew it was different — this was a work trip with some fun thrown in — but Keeley was just restarting her business with Rebecca as the main investor and she couldn’t possibly be less busy than she’d been last year. 

A tiny, mean voice in Roy’s head said that the difference was Jamie. That Roy hadn’t been worth the time away from the office, but Jamie was. 

Roy shoved the thought away. 

He went home to his big empty house and stared at the bottle of champagne in the fridge. He couldn’t tell the yoga mums he’d been promoted because they still believed he was an accountant and he had no fucking clue what accountants did or what the fuck their position was when they got promoted. Plus, he didn’t want to spend all evening lying about the job he was celebrating. 

The team was scattered around the world, visiting their home countries and families while they were on summer holiday. What other friends did Roy have? Keeley, who was his girlfriend again? Jamie, who was Keeley’s other boyfriend and was also not in the country? Rebecca, who was more his friend through the transitive property than anything and was also his boss?

Fuck this. 

Roy took the bottle from the fridge. He was about to pop the cork and drink straight from the bottle when his phone dinged with an incoming message. 

It was a series of photos from Keeley, showing her and Jamie shopping. One photo showed Keeley in a dressing room, trying on a dress that made her look fucking amazing. Another showed Jamie with about fifty bags dangling from his arms, posing like he was lifting weights. Keeley was standing beside him, holding one tiny bag, and grinning widely at having a fit footballer to play her pack mile. Then there was a picture of Keeley standing next to a suitcase with a price tag on it, presumably something she was buying to bring all her new clothes back to England, a cute guilty smile on her face. The last picture showed the two of them in a store, both wearing black leather jackets. The one on Keeley was ridiculously oversized and the comical frowns on both of their faces told Roy that they were dressing up as him. 

Another text arrived from Keeley. 

Miss you! Do you want either of these jackets?

Roy was very picky about his leather jackets, something that Keeley had learned early in their first go at a relationship when she’d tried to buy him a present. It may seem like Roy put no effort into his all-black look, but he was very particular about what clothes he thought was worth buying. 

It was sweet of Keeley to ask. 

Send a video, Roy texted back. 

A minute later, his phone dinged. The video was of Keeley in a dressing room, wearing a shimmery grey dress with one of the Roy-sized leather jackets over it. Roy had clearly interrupted her in the middle of trying on half the store because there were clothes over every inch of the dressing room. Keeley did a little spin for the camera and Roy caught Jamie’s reflection in the dressing room mirror, smiling at Keeley like he was in love. 

Fuck. 

Would Roy have had that indulgent, lovestruck expression on his face if Keeley had dragged him shopping for stupid graffiti clothes for Jamie? This was Jamie’s holiday with Keeley and she was still taking the time to message Roy and Jamie didn’t seem to mind at all. 

Roy’s phone dinged again, this time a message from Jamie. It was another video, showing Jamie walking along a wall of all-black clothes, including at least four different leather jackets. 

“I think we found your store, mate,” Jamie said, panning the camera so Roy could see the words John John lit up in the back over the counter. 

Fuck. Roy was being a sorry sad sack and a bit of a prick. And he absolutely refused to be the biggest prick in a relationship that included Jamie Tartt. 

You look beautiful, he sent Keeley. I like the jacket Jamie was wearing. 

Keeley sent back a series of smiley face emojis. 

Roy called her and she picked up on the second ring. “Hi, babe? How’s London?”

“I miss you,” Roy said. It was probably the easiest thing he’d ever said. Usually, Roy had trouble expressing any emotion that wasn’t anger and he knew that. But missing Keeley was all-consuming. It was a physical ache inside him, just as real as the pain from his knee, and he didn’t know how not to say it. 

“I miss you too,” Keeley said. 

“How’s Brazil?” Roy asked. 

“It’s good! I think the photoshoot with Nike went really well. They might offer Jamie a larger deal as a brand ambassador when we get back, but don’t tell Jamie that. I’m negotiating right now and I’m not sure it’ll go through.”

“I’m sure it well,” Roy said. “You’re a brilliant negotiator.”

“You’ve never seen me negotiate,” Keeley said. 

“Sure I have,” Roy said. “What about that time you convinced me to try being a pundit.”

“That was in your best interest, and I’m pretty sure we were arguing.”

“Or that time you convinced me to go to that launch party for that watch company you were promoting.”

“You have to admit, that was great press,” Keeley said. “Everyone’d heard the story about your ex stealing your Rolex, so you replacing the Rolex with a John Hubert watch really connected the two brands in everyone’s minds.”

“Well what about the time you convinced me to both cook and do the dishes when I made you a fancy dinner?”

“I bribed you with blowjobs,” Keeley said. “I don’t think I can use the same strategy here.”

Roy laughed. He felt so much better after talking to Keeley for just five minutes. Suddenly, he didn’t care that she was a continent away. He still wanted to tell her the good news. 

“Is Jamie there?” he asked. 

“He’s in his own dressing room,” Keeley said. 

Roy was surprised. He figured Keeley and Jamie would take shopping as a chance to watch each other strip in the same dressing room. But he knew fuck all about shopping, so maybe it wasn’t that weird that they were in two different stalls. 

“Can you get him?” 

There was a long pause that Roy knew was Keeley working through her surprise before she said, “Yeah, just a sec.” Her voice sounded slightly farther away as she called “Jamie!”

A moment later Keeley’s voice came out sounding a little more robotic. “You’re on speaker, babe.”

Roy cleared his throat. “I talked to Rebecca today. She made me manager.”

“What?” Keeley said, sounding stunned. 

Yeah, maybe he should have worked up to that instead of announcing it right out the gate. 

“She gave me Ted’s job,” Roy repeated. 

A whoop went up from Jamie, so loud that Roy had to pull the phone away from his head so he wouldn’t blow out his eardrums. 

“Congrats, mate! That’s fucking mint.”

Roy grunted. He didn’t say that he was bricking it over trying to fill Ted’s shoes, but Keeley must have released because she said, “You’re going to be amazing, babe. I’m so proud of you!”

“I don’t know,” Jamie said. “I mean, mostly Roy’s been coaching me so far. I’ve got more talent than all the boys on the team and I’m a pleasure to coach, so you can’t measure Roy’s success by how brilliant a player I am.”

“You’re a fucking nightmare to coach,” Roy said, even though it wasn’t actually true. Jamie did anything Roy said, even when it was embarrassing or he was pushing his body beyond what most coaches would demand of him. Roy liked telling Jamie what to do and seeing how hard he would work to achieve the impossible, even when the only reward was a little grunt from Roy. 

“I guess we’ll see if you can bring the other lads up to my level,” Jamie said, cockiness and disbelief in Roy’s coaching skills rolling together in his voice. 

Weirdly, Jamie’s pestering filled Roy with confidence that he could do this. He would be the best damn manager Richmond had ever seen, if only to prove to Jamie that he was wrong. 

“Be careful what you wish for,” Keeley told Jamie sweetly and that buoyed Roy the rest of the way up. Keeley believed in him. She believed in him enough to tell Jamie to suck it, even if she did it in nicer terms. 

Roy wanted to tell her he loved her, but the first time he told her after they got back together couldn’t be over the phone, with Jamie listening in, while Keeley was on another continent. 

Instead, Roy just said, “At least I know what the fucking offside rule is.”

Jamie and Keeley both laughed, though Jamie laughed harder. Roy wasn’t sure Keeley knew the offside rule, which was a travesty given how many footballers she’d dated.

“Well celebrate when I get back,” Keeley said. “That’s wonderful news, babe. I’m so happy for you.”

They said their goodbyes and when Roy hung up the phone, he felt a lot more determined and a lot less alone. 

He checked his inbox to find an email from Higgins with his new contract and and some player files with stats and videos. Several promising young players were listed, as well as some old-timers on their way to retirement from some of the better clubs. 

He poured himself a glass of champagne and settled in to do his job. 

[fanficfanattic]

Okay, I’m doing it! Posting a ficlet here. Why is the Ted Lasso fandom so great and also so very wild?

It’s found family, Sam and Jamie as best friends and brothers. Just under 1,000 words and neither extra edited or britpicked at all.

Sam had to have planned it, for all that it seemed like he sprung it on Jamie out of nowhere. Because of the extra training with Roy, Jamie was now almost always the first to arrive at the club. That used to be Isaac, saying he should as captain, but after he realized he’d never beat Jamie, he stopped worrying about keeping it up.

He hadn’t wanted anyone to arrive to the club and be alone. But Jamie wasn’t alone, not really, since Coach Kent was always with him.

And Sam, beautiful innocent baby angel Sam, took advantage of this fact. Like a beautiful devilish baby angel!

He didn’t even wait for Jamie to finish changing before breaking the silence.

“Before, one of the reasons you’d lash out at me…it was because you were jealous of my relationship with my father.” He didn’t even bother to make it sound like a question.

Still, Jamie nodded in answer. And then thought about accountability. He had to make the apology, not just agree with Sam’s assessment.

“That weren’t right of me, Sammy. I’m sorry, I knew it then but just…he seems like a really good da.”

Sam’s grin after that put him back to normal angel status for Jamie. And then his next response put him back into devil baby status. Was a real roller-coaster of a morning Number 24 was putting him through.

“Well, that is easy to resolve. We’ll just share him.” Jamie laughs even though Sam said it so earnestly. At the sound, Sam smiles again, but Jamie isn’t falling for that. He is proven right to have had those doubts because Sam gets out his phone to video call someone.

Of course it was Ola, Sam had directly told him that they were going to share his father.

“Hello my son.”

“Hello, Daddy. I want to introduce you to your other son.”

His dad repeats it, half a question in his voice, even as Jamie goes “Sam, what the fuck?”

“Daddy, you remember Jamie.” It wasn’t a question, so Ola didn’t answer it. He just looked at the startled face of Sam’s surprising best friend.

And he has heard Sam say so very much about Jamie Tartt:

—from the beginning of Jamie’s loan when Sam became increasingly upset but tried not to be bitter.

—from when he heard the rumor that Jamie was coming back but Coach Lasso said he wasn’t.

—from how betrayed he felt when Jamie did show up, and how he took that hurt out on Jamie. Even though it didn’t feel like that’s what he was doing at the time.

—to the begrudging respect when Jamie covered the logo and told the team that they should all wear the same kit.

—to Sam witnessing Jamie’s father, pretend punching towards his son in a way that made Jamie tense up, suggesting that he never knew when it was pretend and when it was real. That it ever had been real was unfathomably evil.

—to the pride Sam felt, that he thinks everyone felt, even Coach Lasso before he disappeared- that Jamie used what he’d learned in therapy. To set a boundary, to repeat it without needing to justify it, to be calm when his father was trying to rile him up.

—to the fear he felt, when that man laid hands on Jamie, pulling and shoving, and everyone knew, then, that he wouldn’t hesitate to turn violent against his son.

—except Jamie defended himself. Sam said it was a solid punch but that it wasn’t practiced. Because Jamie riled up other players, and he could shove with the best of them, but he didn’t ever take it farther than that.

—except “Jamie looked lost, daddy. Like he had no idea what to do after protecting himself, because he’d never done that before.”

—except Jamie’s dad got up, laughing cruelly, saying he’d let Jamie have that one for free even as he was preparing to exact a cost.

—and then Beard had removed him. Swooped in to protect Jamie from his father’s wrath.

—and then Roy swooped in to hug Jamie, to hold all his pieces close so that when he broke, it would be easier for Jamie to put himself back together.

“Daddy, you remember Jamie.”

“Of course I do, how could I ever forget my second son?” He kept the same warmth and love in his voice when addressing them.

“You’re both barmy!” Jamie shouted at the phone, at Sam, at his apparent new father. But with his head thrown back as he opened his mouth impossibly wide to laugh. For all that his biological father tried to make him feel small, Jamie refused to be so; filling up any room with his presence. Both Obisanyas loved that for him.

But for now, Sam just chided him, “Is that any way to talk to your father and brother?” After Ola’s chuckle, the three of them had a slightly more normal conversation about their past week. Still, Jamie became hyperaware as teammates trickled in and saw them.

Sam might move the phone in a circle, after checking the state of people’s dress, so they could all chime in a hello. But he never had someone right by him to converse with his dad. Well, their dad now. Sam had meant this sharing business, it turned out.

They ended the call when Roy entered the room, immediately calling the room to task when he spotted this unusual set-up.

“The fuck is going on with Tartt and Sam?”

“That’s our cue, gotta go, it was great talking to you…Da…?” Jamie offered tentatively. His unsure smile widened when Ola agreed it was nice to catch up.

He waited until Ola and Sam finished, but was surprised by the second send off.

“Goodbye my sons, I love you so very much.”

Sam hit end, and the room grew loud with hollering. Jamie was right there with the lads, but he was grinning like a loon when he called out “Goddamnit Samuel!“

“What!”

“It’s less than a week until Father’s Day. How fast is the mail from England to Nigeria?!?”

[thenonbinarydetective]

What do you think are the biggest issues with modern dickbabs

It values Dick more than Babs. This benefits him and keeps him in the batfamily. That’s one of the main reasons as if just because he could be with someone who doesn’t have bat in their name could ruin everything as if he wasn’t a founder. Dick benefits more from having a “cool girlfriend” than she does having a boyfriend. And it’s clear. She loses her personality and her independence. She’s less because of him. They literally won’t have her commit cybercrimes anymore. Remember when she would like blackmail politicians and shit because she had access to every computer? DC doesn’t cause know she feels bad hacking into someone’s computer because they might be innocent or whatever. “It’s kinda illegal” girl shut up I saw you with a sniper.

It really feels like he’s their self-insert for people to date Babs who is also currently very boring. But like a “cool” self-insert protagonist shut. Like I get my own Hogwarts house because I’m also the Avatar and wield seven lightsabers. Except powerless cause it’s Dick, but you know the energy.

But also not to forget that people also attach the erasing of Babs disability to this because “disabled women aren’t as hot” when you aren’t supposed to be the one attracted to her. Dick is!

It’s forced. Like right now, they are forcing it to work. And forcing it to be iconic. Honestly I had the chance to be iconic before they were like “if you love cloud and batcat, you love dickbabs” and I don’t. This actually turned into reverse psychology because you made them feel less interesting by comparing them to couples that had decades of proving how iconic they are.

Again on more than one earth, their love has to be this amazing powerful thing but most of the time I’m being told that than shown that. One of my biggest problems is actually the DC vs Vampires Elseworld. Dickbabs ruined it. It was the stake through the heart. The whiny “I can’t kill him I love him” after he’s destroyed the ENTIRE WORLD. Because we had to do that jealousy mind control with dickkory.

Although speaking of Kory, this isn’t that new, but remember his intergalactic xenophobia with Starfire???? God that was dumb. I don’t even care if it’s about his personal problems and dependency on Dick. It was fucking weird. Actually it’s weirder with dickbabs because that implies he views her as a method of enabling his dependency.

But on our Earth there is also this constant need to make Dick’s other relationships lesser and right now Babs’ seem nonexistent. Like she dated other men. Including Ted Kord. Are they ever going to mention that again, probably not because somehow it dampens the “first love, only love” thing if she showed the slightest bit of affection to another man. But back to Dick. This constant need downplays Bea, Kory, Shawn, and more. I feel like right now these are the most affected. The complete overhaul of Bea’s character to make her relationship with Dick disingenuous. On both ends. Retconning that Dick started to fall in love with her but said he didn’t to protect her because she was normal. And then she comes back a pirate queen but any feelings he did have were obviously meaningless because Babs exists. It’s just…..so bad.

It’s so fucking boring. Not because it’s happy but because it’s shit right now. All of this is shit. And it all comes from the fact their relationship is too easy and safe. Because it’s easy and safe writers get lazy. Now it doesn’t have to be lazy. But it is. It’s just “they were Robin and batgirl so they have to be together and get married while having a bland dynamic and have bland kids whose entire identities revolve around their parents being batgirl and Robin and their names are going to be Jim/James and Mary because what else would it be” sorry but I hate the trope of naming kids after people. Or like all of them specifically. Like you couldn’t come up with anything? Especially in Barbara’s case after she became Barbara Gordon the daughter of Jim and Barbara Gordon and sister of Jim Gordon. It’s not always together but pick up a damn baby naming book/website.

Easy and safe makes it easier to be lazy and to not take any risks. It’s a risk to involve Bea or civilian girlfriends with the bare. Therefore it’s too hard even though people actually liked her. It’s too difficult to have Kory interact with the batfamily so she barely will. Shawn doesn’t work because I didn’t feel like trying. Go back to Babs, you don’t have to try at all. They are consistently not trying because of the safety net. But baby, you’re writing, it’s not the fall of the flying Graysons if you put a little effort in. Even into Babs. It’s like they’re not trying anymore.

Maybe Dick shouldn’t be with anyone lmaooo. I am on team DickDiesAlone and Babs with anyone else.

[thetarttfuldickhead]

A Jamie-centric pre-OT3 Christmas story told in 25 short chapters.

Masterpost / AO3

21.

Maybe he was dreaming again, Jamie thought. Kind of had to be, because how likely was it that he would actually be chilling in the home of Roy – Roy Kent! – while Keeley – best and kindest and sexiest Keeley! – let him lean on her and kept running her fingers through his hair in that way she knew that he loved?

It felt real, though. Felt nice and warm and a little float-y, a far fucking cry from the sickening shame and fear of the early evening when Roy had rushed in like some knight in shining armour to chuck Dad out. And it’d been fucking humiliating to have Roy – Roy Kent! – see Jamie like that, fucking shivering and dumb and then crying just from a few nasty words and a shove, but there’d been relief in it as well.

Someone knew, and the world hadn’t ended. Someone had seen, and hadn’t walked away, or called Jamie a pussy for letting his dad talk to him like that, push him around like that.

Roy had cleaned out his wounds instead, and brought him home.

It was weird, the way a day that had started so badly and only gotten worse could somehow turn into what might be one of the best evenings of Jamie’s life. A proper Christmas miracle, like.

“Which one was the best?” Keeley asked suddenly, breaking Jamie out of his revere.  

“Eh?”

“Best adaptation of A Christmas Carol. Deciding that is what led to all this, right,”—she indicated the three of them—“so I just wondered which one was the best.”

“The Muppet Christmas Carol,” Roy said before Jamie even had time to open his mouth. “It’s not even a contest.”

Jamie shrugged. ”We didn’t watch that one.”

Roy’s head snapped toward Jamie. “What?” he asked, sounding as baffled as he did furious.  “The fuck do you mean you didn’t watch that one?”

“Um, that we didn’t? We, like, all voted on which ones to see, and that one didn’t make the cut, so.”

“Fucking Ted,” Roy muttered, looking genuinely upset. “How the fuck is he going to get you back to the Premier League if he can’t even make calls as easy as that. Jesus Christ.”

“Maybe you should come on as coach,” Jamie suggested innocently. “Make sure we don’t miss any other important movies.”

“Don’t be a dick,” Roy said. “And we’re watching The Muppet Christmas Carol right now. Can’t fucking believe I was haunted by the ghost of Christmas pricks and he hasn’t even seen the only relevant version.” He stood up from the couch. “I’m getting a beer, you want anything?”

At Keeley’s wine for me, please and Jamie’s a beer’d be mint, cheers mate Roy gave a short nod and disappeared to the kitchen.

“I wasn’t being a dick,” Jamie told Keeley confidentially. “I mean, I was, but I think he’d be dead good as a coach. Ted and Beard and Nate, they’re all great, but we could use someone who actually knows what it’s like to play the game, do you know what I mean?”

“I know! He’d be so good at it! And I know he really, really misses football, even though he doesn’t want to admit it. I could hardly get him to try the pundit gig, though, so I’m not sure what’d convince him to start coaching, even if Ted, or someone, asked. He’s so fucking stubborn.”

“Thick-headed twat,” Jamie agreed, though the snark was tinged with a fondness he hadn’t expected to ever feel for Roy, not since the first time he actually met the man and he proved to be a massive cunt. But maybe Jamie had been just a little bit hasty in his judgment last year. He wasn’t always right, after all, as surprising as that would be to people.

Roy returned with the drinks, pausing with narrowed eyes as they both swivelled to look at him.

“Were you talking about me?” he demanded.

“No,” Keeley said, guiltily.

“Yeah,” Jamie said, not guiltily at all. Roy was a thick-headed twat; the fact that he was also weirdly sweet and kind of like a super hero or some shit didn’t change that.

“Uh-huh. I was thinking we should order some food too. Indian fine with you?”

Indian was fine with everyone. Roy promised to get Keeley her “usual”, told Jamie which items would work best with his meal plan, and called in the order. Then he returned to his corner of the couch, and he didn’t say anything about it, but Jamie noticed the furtive and decidedly longing look he shot Keeley.

Keeley must have noticed it to, because she gave Jamie’s shoulder a little pat. “Come on, sweetie, let’s switch it up a little, eh? I think Roy is starting to feel left out.”

“I’m not—“ Roy began, but Jamie was already moving, scrambling to his feet while he felt his cheeks heat up and his heart freeze. The fuck had he been thinking? That he could just stay like this, getting all cosy with Keeley while Roy sat alone in the corner? And after making them spend the entire evening looking after him when they were probably just dying to get some time alone, too. Fucking stupid. Selfish.

“I can go if you want,” he hastily offered. “I mean, I should probably go, right? Yeah. But, like, it’s been great, so thanks, uh, thanks for having me.”

“Jamie, no,” Keeley said, looking distressed. “That’s not—“

“You’re not going anywhere until you’ve seen the movie,” Roy added firmly. “Fact is, you should probably stay the night, just in case your piece of shit dad decides to drop in on you again.”

“He probably went home already,” Jamie admitted reluctantly. He really wasn’t keen on going back to his empty house and the broken glass still on the floor, especially if the alternative was a sleepover at Roy Kent’s, but it felt like a bad thing, lying about his dad just so they’d let him stay. “Or is about to, anyway. Too cheap for a hotel if I’m not paying for it, ain’t he. Him and his mates usually takes the last regular train back to Manchester.”

“All right.” Roy kept staring at him, gaze dark and penetrating. “You should stay anyway,” he said abruptly. “Just in case. It’d… “ He paused, looking up in the ceiling and looking like he’d rather stab himself in the eye than continue. “It’d make me feel better,” he eventually gritted out. “Knowing that you’re here. So. Stay. Please.”

“Yeah, Jamie,” Keely quickly interjected. “It’d make us both feel better, yeah?”

Jamie, still wide-eyed and open-mouthed from the please, could only nod. “Yeah, okay, if you want, yeah,” he croaked.

“Great!” Keeley beamed at him. “And I didn’t mean we can’t keep cuddling, babe, I just thought we’d shift around a bit, make sure everyone’s included, yeah? Like this.” And she moved over to the other end of the couch, sidling up next to Roy and leaning back against his chest. He immediately put an arm around her, and pressed his lips against hers in a kiss when she turned her face towards him in invitation.

Jamie had found the sight of them kissing disgusting once. Now, it sparked something else; heat, and a sense of quiet longing.

And then Keeley looked up at him, raising her eyebrows expectantly. “Come on, then.”

Jamie looked to Roy, to make sure he really was okay with this.

But Roy just gave him a nod. “Go on.”

So Jamie went, laying down on the couch with his head in Keeley’s lap, and gave a happy sigh as her hand immediately went back to his head, scratching idly at his scalp and running her thumb over his neck.

“Don’t fucking fall asleep,” Roy ordered as he started the movie. “You’re paying this the attention it deserves, Tartt, you hear me?”

“Yes, Coach,” Jamie said, and grinned when Roy growled and Keeley giggled. Huh, he thought. Really is a fucking Christmas miracle, innit.

---

Roy had been right. It was the best version.