#and again the assignment just involves so much set up that im struggling with and i feel silly bc its nothing to do with the assignment man

[sporesgalaxy]

hii there!! i hope u dont mind me asking but like. okay im also really really looking to go into biology- mainly because i love the study of life/organisms so much, and ultimately i'd love to become a paleontologist... however, looking at most of the tracks in colleges (which i've already signed up for), a lot of math and chemistry are involved. i Really struggle with these subjects so i want to ask, if you happen to have any knowledge- are these really intense or as daunting as they seem? i dont see myself doing any sort of job that involves like.. complex algebra equations (im aware things like statistics are important), but i know i've got to get through some of these to do what i want in life. ty if you have any info and ive loooved ur recent bio posts im eating them like an anteater

Well! Unfortunately, I don't have an easy answer for you. It really depends on the teacher you get, how the cirriculum is covered, and why you struggled with these subjects.

It might be a good idea to check out the ratemyprofessor entries for the prof.s teaching these subjects at the school(s) you're looking at, to try and get an idea if they're teavhing style could work for you.

I'll tell you what my experience was like as someone who struggled with those subjects too, and hopefully it will give you a better idea of what to expect.

I struggled with math throughout elementary, middle, and high school because of undiagnosed ADHD and anxiety. I often found myself thinking that I'd be doing better if I didn't have to do so manh repetetive problems.

I found my college math classes to be much more manageable by comparison. My professors tended to assign fewer repetetive questions, and there was more variety in the way concepts were applied, which kept me engaged with the work so I wasn't constantly losing my train of thought. But there are a lot of other professors in the world, so that may not be the case everywhere.

Another game changer for me was that many college math professors OFFER PARTIAL CREDIT. If I set everything up properly but pressed the wrong button on my calculator, many professors I had would consider my answer MOSTLY correct.

ALSO: All the math classes I had to take allowed (specific types of) calculators on the exams. I suck ass at basic multiplication but I can set up a hugeass equation like a CHAMP so that was a HUGE help for me.

A lot of math in biology is used for statistics and for determining how things are changing when you study them. I generally found the math needed for biology (and physics) easier to understand than more abstract algebraic equations because I could apply it to real-world situations and intuit approximately what would happen from my own experience. i.e. an exponentially increasing population... the curve looks the way it does on a graph because there are more reproductive individuals reproducing each generation, so the line will go up by a greater amount eith each unit of time that passes. Sorry I couldn't think of a clearer example.

I only took one chemistry class in high school, which I struggled in, and I unfortunately continued to struggle in college. I'm still not entirely sure what didn't click with me, to be honest. It just felt like I could never quite grasp all the factors and rules in my mind at once. It may have been anxiety, which I could only have solved by medicating myself sooner or exposure therapy via a lot more studying (didn't happen because I tend to avoid my stressors compulsively).

I had to retake all but one chemistry class that was required for my degree. I was never quite sure if the professors for summer chem classes just clicked with me more, or if going over the material a second time was what I needed. Once again though, you may be able to recieve partial credit in chem classes. In my experience, chemistry classes were more test-focused than homework-focused, and I often found myself wishing I had more homework to practice on, so finding additional study resources may be your best bet. I used Chemistry Libretexts a lot...

BUT ON THE FLIPSIDE: I had to retake, like, 3 different chemistry classes. I STILL GOT MY DEGREE THOUGH! I sucked a bit but I survived it! Keeping high grades in your electives can help keep your gpa where the college requires it to be for you to graduate.

[babykkumaa]

Update #?

So, life been getting a bit better with time but I’m having a hard time making friends (good consistent friends around my age) to the point I’m about to give up the idea. I tried everything but, end up getting treated bad. I had a whole as girl who said she liked me made me her girlfriend then blocked me on everything for no reason so I’m just going back to what I used to be just be better not let people in like that fr bc that last one hurt bc she blocked me right after I opened up to her about what was bothering me bc I struggle with my mental health a lot but it just prove to me that people probably think I’m too much so I’d rather be in my own space. I enjoy my own time on my own then involve people majority of the time. So, if I make friends them I do but, I’m going back to what I used to do.

I finally got the rest of my exercise equipment! Yayyy! I’ve been waiting to getting back to working out consistently since I’ve took a year break bc I went back into recovery for my ED bc I relapsed really bad after a bad relationship. So, I worked on healing my relationship for food. Now, I feel better into going to work out and doing a proper weight training and working out again so I’ll lose weight I gain properly and not be obessive like my last cut 🫶🏼.

I got some oversize clothes to help cope with what I look like currently bc I gain maybe 40-50 lbs I don’t weight myself anymore so I’m not sure. But, I’m hoping new clothes will help with beginning to build my confidence and love myself while I work on building muscle and my cut. The funny part about me gaining weight this time is I still feel pretty some days I have body dysmorphia and grieve over my ED body but I’m overall okay. I’m okay with the fact my body change and I’m happy I have a healthier body. I did take before pictures and I will be working out 5-6 days a week so in about 6 months I’ll see where I’m at if I made progress.

I bought some weights,resistant bands and sweat band to go with my treadmill I got in the beginning of the year so I’m so ready to see how I can transform in a healthier way.

In about a month from now, I’ll be going back to my hometown for two weeks to visit my family which is cool but, atleast I’ll be able to finish school by then bc I am in two summer courses that I have to try finish before I leave in June. So, today I’ll be setting up Notion and beginning my homework I’ll be planking to do a chunk of homework a day and emailing my teacher asking them to give me access to all my assignments before my trip so I start summer vacation early if I can.

Im excited for this summer bc I’ll be going different places hopefully and hopefully volunteering at the library . I’m trying to work at the library as a job until I can graduate and go Into art history job which is 50/50 if they’ll actually hire me 🥲 I am apply for an internships in the fall and planning to graduate in the winter.

But, other then that I’m still trying to complete my goals I had which I got to cross off some but the other half I’m working on still which I’m excited for more positive stuff to happen.

[gayspock]

ive been feelinglike such shit lately & bro this assignment is not helping -_-

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y’know the one thing I hated while I was doing my arts degree, and still hate after having graduated from it, is the condescending statement/belief from people that “oh why didn’t you just do a more useful degree like maths or science???? and not your useless bullshit mickey mouse arts degree, which was never intended to give anyone jobs outside of teaching, anyway!” or some other horrendous bullshit, such as: “why didn’t you just stay with communication & media studies and complete the marketing & PR major???? you would’ve had a job after all of the unpaid internships you do throughout the course!” or whatever. (media and communications is abbreviated to m&cs further down in this post, just an fyi).

but, meredith. do you know that even people with science & maths degrees struggle to find meaningful work that’s related to their degrees? do you know that some of those people will turn to teaching anyway just because they feel like there’s nothing else that they can do??? do you know that some people (mainly me and probably quite a few others) just can’t handle maths past like idk year 6 level??? I would’ve been completely and utterly fucked if I even tried to set foot in first year uni science or maths subjects. even though some of the content did interest me.... (also there’s the fact that my handwriting wasn’t good enough for diagrams etc etc in maths & science- but that’s a whole other topic not for this post).

like I had to totally skip out of psychology/sociology and even the PR major, bc they required you to do statistics subjects.... where no matter what level of study I would’ve/could’ve done for those subjects, i would’ve still failed them spectacularly because my mind really struggles with processing and working with numbers. but that’s besides the point.

hey earl, do you know some people simply do not suit particular fields of “real world” or “practical” study areas like business subjects? trust me. I tried that one sem of marketing 101 and intro to management/ business communications in first year. and you know what I found? that my mind just could not take the complete and utter dryness of the content of marketing theory and, again, numbers. and that’s despite the earnest encouragement of my tutor, who thought I had a knack for marketing. i literally almost fucking died in that business communications subject... even though the lecturer seemed to like me as well. but as i thought further ahead into my degree in comms & media, i dreaded it. I absolutely fucking dreaded it. the PR stuff sounded as equally dry & boring (besides the point that every project was group work lmao) and so did upper level marketing subs in advertising/marketing strategy/various fields of marketing etc etc. i couldn’t stomach that lmao. and besides the point, the analysing of media just bored the fuck out of me too, for some reason. I just didn’t like the subject. hell, even my advanced diploma in marketing from business college was a fucking hard slog for me.

but when i sat in my english, philosophy, (kind sorta) history and -further down the track- creative writing subjects.... I fucking loved them. I was writing like I’d always wanted to. okay yes I did get pretty dismal marks in most of my philosophy and english exams or assignments. but I don’t fucking care. I was there doing what my mind was built for. if id tried another business subject, like intro to economics or even gone back to redo that “intro to management”/“business communications” (or whatever it was called) as an elective/as electives, i probably would’ve dropped out of either of them in the first 2 weeks. whenever i read those subject descriptions, they literally put me to sleep.

also, for the media and comms point. do you know that there’s loads of media & comms students that don’t get jobs because there’s just such a HUGE intake of students in those courses??? do you know that that the most popualr field in that degree stream (at least when I started that degree at my local home uni in 2015) was journalism & professional writing??? where literally EVERYONE was aiming to be a journalist????

I was one of the very, very few people when I began in media and comms, to outwardly say that she was there to do marketing or maybe the marketing & PR double major.... and everyone looked at me as if I was insane. “why don’t you want to be a journalist? I think journalism is so cool and that I’m more likely to get a job in that than you are in marketing or PR. you actually engage with real people in journalism and do meaningful stuff with the community!” was one of the utterly dumb responses I sometimes got from people in that course, when I told them the above. but you know what kelsey, or, trent? neither one or any of us are “more likely” to get jobs in media & comms... when you’re both competing against people with “proper” straight journalism degrees who might have more media experience than you- if you didn’t do an internship or do some uni newsroom/magazine or whatever.... or maybe more streamlined (if that’s the right word) media &comms degrees.... as well as generally competing against each other, in the same field, for the fucking same exact jobs. while im competing against commerce students doing marketing and PR and people doing the PR & marketing major in m&cs.

also in relation to the above, doing multiple unpaid or even severely underpaid internships in journalism, or even marketing, probably won’t fucking secure your chance of getting a bloody job, adam. just shut the fuck up. those internships may have helped you. but they most likely won’t help most people, theresa. because there’s only a tiny freakin chance that the place that they worked for will actually give them a guranteed job at the end of their internship’s timeframe or at the end of their whole degree. it’s a fucking scam lmao.

and plus, (not to be as rude as you were to me).... but why the FUCK would you want to go into journalism.... when it’s been debased so fucking much by media outlets like buzzfeed; writing nothing but clickbait bullshit listicles.... and is polluted by internet virality.... so much so, that more than half of the people my course had the career goal of being a viral youtuber or an instagram influencer???? like i’m sorry. this is a dumb asf course, no matter the field you’ve chosen to study.... and there’s no way that a single one of you will be a successful viral youtuber or an instagram influencer???? what on fucking earth led you to believe that????

like no offence. but there’ll only be a lucky, lucky, lucky few who get to be the next jennamarbles, ray william johnson, pewdiepie, lily singh, tanya hennessy, jeffree star, james charles, etc etc.... or hell, even friendlyjordies (if you want some satire & politics). and for instagrammers.... idek know them. someone list some instagrammers lmao. but my point still stands.

being an influencer or youtuber- both with huge followings- is a fucking pipe dream- as much as me being a hugely successful author is. it only goes to the insanely lucky, lucky few who have the right connections and the right digital savviness/finesse to grow to be uber successful.... or who started super early, before it was even considered a job title (like jenna mourey/marbles and ray william johnson listed above, and several others not listed who have big fan followings on here) and eventually grew to be the first original titans of the youtuber job title.

or again, they already have some type of other successful media career (like tanya hennessy is an aussie radio announcer. jeffree star had a short lived myspace music career in the late 000s mostly, and made cameos in emo music videos and LA ink at the time also, for example) so that they can successfully fund their youtube channels and/or instagrams as side projects or whatever, as part of their media portfolio.... and they also know how to engage and grow follower bases etc. because they already have an existing one. so it’s twice as easy for them.

tbh i actually entered the m&cs course bc of my use of this hellsite and all the weird trends it had and stuff.... but I eventually got over that as I realised that I just did NOT fit into that field of study. I realised I was too shy... and I also just hated the fact that I had to learn how to use twitter and wordpress and probably eventually snapchat & instagram 😂

i had also gotten sick of follower counts and “growing a following”- considering that by 2015, I’d hit over 3,000 followers on here, I think.... and I realised just what energy and time it took to build this blog.... and my followers.... that I just didn’t have the energy to expend on other platforms for the same thing lmao. like it seemed like more wasted time. I was tired. in addition to that, i also realised that i didn’t want to waste my whole fucking career on the internet worrying over a business’s/company’s multiple corporate social media channel follower counts and image etc.... when i’d done enough of that for myself on this hellsite lmao. doing that stuff with other students in the m&cs course seemed fake asf, especially when it came to giving feedback comments etc lol.

but do you know that one place where you don’t have to give a flying fuck about followers, post views/comments, and blog views? philosophy and english. lmao 😅. no one gives a fuck what you say. unless, of course, you have the evidence and the force of argument to back your pov up. that’s what I was about and am still about. I loved reading and analysing the many books I had to read (contrary to the complaint posts that I made on here lmao)- whereas learning about media and who owned what and how media is manufactured- just made my brain freeze. and although I didn’t do my readings in philosophy (lmao)- i enjoyed a good bulk of the content I had and the issues it involved. doing media & journalism subjects in the m&cs degree, on the other hand, terrified me, bc it meant I had to get in front of a camera and speak- which also scared me bc i look & sound terrible on camera lmao 😂. but I didn’t have to do that almost throughout the entirety of my arts degree (im obvs not counting class presentations in this lol). but do you get my point???

and also the teaching comment. don’t get me wrong, i know a good bunch of people go into teaching after their arts degrees... including many of my friends; and a load of the people I was in my arts degree with. but that is mainly because with other degrees like journalism or media & comms or whatever other fields that they overload into uni arts departments- have taken our job titles away, in a sense....

so, then you’re practically forced to either go into teaching, or go into something outside of your expertise; like idek human resources management/a MBA via a masters.... or, again into something like librarianship via postgrad study- so, that for the love of fucking god- you have a job title to whack next to your name-!!!-instead of just “arts graduate” or “english major” or “philosopher” that all mean fuck all. and that’s because those labels sound vague, unhelpful, undefined and useless; as that’s opposed to something like “teacher” or “librarian” or even “information specialist”. all those titles/labels sound defined, and have actual useful concrete skills: like coding, database creation and maitenance & information retrieval (amongst other things), for a librarian/an information specialist, for example. these skills are then translated into something that you can physically demonstrate to people.... unlike with philosophy and english where people perceive that it’s just “all in your head” and “doesn’t produce anything worthwhile” bc of your very obvious skills that everyone has of communication and writing. like idk. anyway.

anyway here’s my rant for november.

[bangtanficrecs]

Lost & Found Batch #20

Can’t start up the blog again without posting the newest batch! As always, if you happen to know the fic the ask is looking for, reply to this post or send us an ask with the request number and title/author. If you happen to know any fics from Past Batches, those are more than welcome as well. Thank you!! ~ Admin P

                                                      --------------

1) Hi! I’m looking for a fic I read quite a while ago and if you can help me i’ll be forever grateful... it was about namjoon having powers and accidentally causing damage, so seokjin (who was a kind of a social worker assigned to him) sent him to live with yoongi as a way to make up for his “crime”. Yoongi was also magical and lived isolated from society. If I remember correctly hoseok was also guilty of something and sent to yoongi with namjoon. Sorry if it’s too vague, but that’s all I remember

2) Hi, I decided to give this a try though I think the fic may have been deleted because I just can't find the fic anymore. Basically its ot7 and the main character (Jungkook?) took the boys to meet his mom. The author had the boys super athletic, tall and in college;they were also from Texas. Jungkook sadly had to deal with homophobic classmates. It was a one shot I believe.

Hey, Momma by CaridwenAngetueur1

3) hi!! i’m trying to find a yoonmin fic i read a while ago, where yoongi lived in this small town and had an apothecary and jimin would come and sing in the town centre, and yoongi would give him something for his nerves before he’d go on stage. i remember jimin would glow and light would shoot out from him when he sung. it was a completed fic on ao3, i can’t seem to find it. thank you so much for your help!!

4) Hello! If you don’t mind helping me, im looking for a jikook fic i can’t seem to find again on ao3. Its a time travel, canon au where present day bts where in japan and Jungkook had went through a shrine? He ends up in the past with younger!bts and acts as like a cousin to Jungkook until they can figure out how to send him back. I remember there being a scene where younger!bts miss their flight to help older!jungkook get back to the future? If you need more details please let me know. Thank you!

5) Hello! I'm looking for a vmin fic where flowers literally grow on Tae and he's really insecure about it and gets depressed. It's super soft and fluffy and the entire thing is pretty much just Jimin taking care and comforting him. I'm pretty sure it's a one-shot and that they are the only two that are explicitly brought up. I love it so much and I hope that this isn't too vague.

6) hi idk if any of u can help me find this fic but imma try: its an au in which kids go disappearing often and i can only remember that one day taehyung is one of them and jungkook takes it up on himself to find him bc he firmly believes that he isnt dead yet. not sure bout this but i also think tae got kidnapped to get tested on? and seokjin is one of the doctors in that institution??? this fic is written by a fanboy as far as i can recall and had a reallyyyyyy hard to remember title sigh 😔

kotov syndrome by wormkun Note: The fic is locked and requires an AO3 account to view

7) Hey so I read this fic a while ago but no matter what i search, i can't seem to find it. Namjoon was a depressed ?college student? and he wrote songs that he only showed to his friend Jimin. He and Jimin go to a coffee shop where Yoongi works and yoongi keeps leaving notes to RM on Joon's coffee cups, but namjoon doesnt' know who RM is. I think it turns out Jimin had been posting Joons songs and yoongi recognized his voice and wanted to encourage him. NJ writes always and almost attempts suicide

8) Hello, I was wondering if you could help find this fanfic I've looking for forever. It's an ot7 relationship fic ( I think it's jimin centric). it was still not completed. The summary was something like taehyung asking jimin if he wanted to be in a relationship with them and jimin saying No. Because technically he already knew they were all in a relationship and he felt betrayed that he was left out for so long. There is something about a creepy sasaeng fan too. I would really appreciate it.

Last to Know by Meadow_Wanderer

9) Hi! Im looking for an au fic where Jungkook was depressed, and was with V who had anger problems bc of past child abuse. Jhope didn’t like Jungkook bc of something about his dark past involving his sister who I think was raped and died. I also remembered RM having a tattoo and being an ex member of a mafia group. He blew a gas station up, and Jin thought he died but he came back, and they had sex on the window. JK attempted suicide as well but Jin saved him. Thanks!!

10) I'm searching for a vminhope fanfic. It was I believe an A/B/O one. It was on aff. Hoseok was a berserker, Jimin was a beta and Tae was an omega.

11) Hi!!!!! I've been looking for this one fic forever. It's about jungkook who's an art student and jimin and taehyung are cops who look out for him. Jungkook talks a lot about suicide and he's a university art student. I think one of the art projects in the fic was a corpse painting with flowers. Jungkook also stole from a convenience store and when jimin and Rae caught up to him they noted he had a red beanie in his pocket. Thats all. Thank you!!!

12) There was this fic where Jungkook was lonely and lived alone in a hut on the woods, and he saw Jimin in a club took him to that hut and Jimin tried to run away but Injured his leg and had to stay. It's wip, and now i can't find it :( help please?

13) i'm having trouble finding a fanfic about taekook, where jungkook finds taehyung in a lake (or any body of water), and it turns out that he's from past times. he shows taehyung around present day, and taehyung at one point dresses up as a cowboy. jungkook gives taehyung's peepee the big succ, they get caught by the police, but they run away. from my memory, that's where it ends, or there may be more to it. even tags from ao3 to jog my memory will help.

14) I read this Taejin fanfic a while ago and now I can’t find it, all I know about it is that Taehyung was in some way abused and Jin brought him to his home, also that Jin had a twin brother, also it had many chapters, if you can find it I’ll be very grateful!!!

15) Hi! I read a yoomin fic in ao3 when I was new in the Fandom and I can't find it anywhere, I remember it being angst, mostly Yoongi's pov, it was set in the I need you era and Yoongi played the piano for jungkook's dance, I also remember Jimin struggled with eating disorders and alcoholism and that at some point they had a big fight when jimin came home drunk in a random cab d

16) Hi! I can't find a fic I read few years ago, so I was wondering if you could help)) It was Taehyung/Namjoon fic, and Namjoon hired him as his fake ex-boyfriend so that his friends (Hoseok and Jimin if I remember correctly) would stop asking him to go on dates or smth like that.

if it bleeds by wertstoffhof (roachprince)

17) Hello! I’m hoping you can help me find a fic, it’s a mental hospital one where all the members apart from jin and namjoon are in the mental hospital and another member (maybe jungkook) arrives and it turns out jin is making up their diagnosis because he thought they’d want to stay longer. If that’s too brief i can remember specific bits but i couldn’t find anything on your tags, thank you! Jin is a sort of like a therapist who looks after them and namjoon is like the manager of sorts i think

Seeking Heaven by fullofsuga

18) Hello, hope you're well! I was wondering if you could help me find a Jihope fic that I've been looking for forever! Jimin was friends with Taehyung and didn't know the rest of the boys until he was added into a group chat. I remember that Jimin worked in a shop that was broken in to, and that Taehyung didn't want Jimin and Hoseok to date? I think the chapter titles were all days of the week as well - thank you!!

19) Hey do you know the name of this historic au fic where Yoongi is a chaebol and I think he buys Jungkook from his abusive dad to be his servant? I remember he teaches him how to read and even gives up his money just to be with jungkook and becomes an author

tear the moon from the stars tonight by euphoriae

20) Hi! I'm looking for a YoonMin fanfic that's a pretend/fake dating au, where Jimin was at the grocery shop and his ex suddenly came up and started teasing/mocking him? Then Yoongi suddenly came up behind him and started pretending to be his bf? Thank you so much and I'm so sorry for the bother!

21) Hey! I've been looking for this fic forever (i've tried every tag on ao3, god help me). It's a v/yoongi fic where tae is really into public sex and yoongi too, but yoongi is shy at first. there's a scene at the beginning where yoongi is on a date with a girl and he goes to the bathroom to masturbate. at the middle they both are in a restaurant with 2 other people (from bts, i can't remember which members) and tae touches him. at the end tae masturbates yoongi in a restaurant/karaoke booth?

Hands-On Learning by pornographicpenguin

22) Hi! Looking for this multi chaptered abo fic where Yoongi is a omega and kookie presents as an alpha during practice and triggers yoongi's heat. Later on jin and joon become mates but it's mainly about yoonkook slowly getting together... Idk if that's helpful but it's driving me crazy because I can't find it

23) Hi, I'm looking for an old jin/yoongi fic that had a magical element in it I read a while ago and need a little help. Yoongi is an underground rapper and he always passes by this shop. One night after a gig he actually stops in front of it and goes in. Jin runs it and gives him a drink. (I think its tea but idk) he also gives him a muffin or cupcake. At the end jin tells yoongi he was looking for love and that's what led yoongi into the shop.

24) Hi! I’m looking for a fic I read a year back. It has Jin as an assassin and he saved the maknae line from abuse and stuffs and they fell in love with him. And he also has a relationship with Suga

25) Weird fic I read but I want to see if more came out. Anyway it's super weird, bts is the a werewolf gang and they go to a party for the higher ranking alphas. There they meet an omega of a high ranking alpha and then more stuff happens that I can't remember. I just thought of it randomly and I wanted to see if you could find it. It's okay of you can't I appreciate the help either way.

26) Ok color me corrected if you manage to find this fic, but I can’t seem to remember anything about it. It’s a red string of fate/soulmate au but I CANNOT remember the pairing. I think it was canon divergent, they lived in the dorm together. I remember that the string was actually tangible and the pair would always trip over it. Thanks haha

27) I am looking for a fic I read ages ago. It was jikook, they were in high school. Jk is really rich and loves taking photos one day he sees jm and is compelled to take a photo of his bright orange hair. Tae sees the photo and hires jk so take photos of jimin as he never sees him smile. Jm is very poor, he is freinds with joon and tae I think. Jin is jks brother. Jm initially gets mad at jk but eventually they become friends and fall in love. There was some past stuff with taegi too I think.

Imperfectly Perfect by whenIseeUsmile

28) Hi. I'm looking for a fic on ao3. It's a historical royalty au and I think it's yoonmin. I think it's incomplete too. Yoongi is a prince and his brother is JK. Jimin and Jin are spys from a neighbouring kingdom that's on the verge of war. The last chapter I remember has the castle being invaded and the royal family being killed, there may have been a fire. I hope you can help

Death In Disguise by pikachoi

[vore-scientist]

[actually bc i can’t help it here’s the introductory scene for the next big story (warnings, BIG FEARPLAY, Yonah and Sophia are not friends yet either)]

[Takes place about 23 days (about 2.5 MW weeks which are 9 days long) after Yonah first ate Sophia...]

(spoilers obviously for a WIP)

FEE FI FO FUM

Sophia woke to Yonah’s voice thundering through the tower, and lightning screams following shortly behind. 

Desperate, bloodcurdling screeches of whoever Yonah had caught and was in the process of eating. Sophia knew those screams well, having filled the tower with her own several times since she arrived. Though since learning he cursed her so that he couldn’t digest her, it was mostly in defiance and to hurt his sensitive ears. 

Whoever’s was screaming from just outside the bedroom door was soon silenced. 

Eaten. 

Swallowed. 

By the great and terrible Yonah HaEsh. 

Sophia failed to get the images out of her head. Of the thief clawing at Yonah’s tough flesh from within the giant’s stomach, crying, begging for mercy. Just like she had done that first time. She had been spat up… eventually. But She was is captive by order of the king, not a thief that no one would even notice let alone miss.  

He claimed to spits thieves back up. But wizards lie. Evil wizards especially. 

Determination overcoming fear she scrambled out of her golden cage and ran into the living room, hoping she was not too late, and Yonah had swallowed the thief alive. He should have, she knew from experience how fond he was of a lively bellyful. 

And indeed, she found the wizard sitting in his armchair, eyes closed, mouth a wicked wide smile complete with a picture perfect drop of drool at one corner. His hand was over his stomach, fingers drumming against it as he chuckled. 

“It’s quiet pointless to fight me,” he taunted, “but don’t let that stop you.”

Sophia silently made her way to the side of the chair. But Not so silently that Yonah didn’t hear her. Or maybe he smelled her. Who knows. 

The dark eyes of the wizard opened and stared hungrily down before he leaned over and scooped her up. 

/please dont eat me please dont eat me please dont eat me/ she didn’t think he would eat her with his belly already occupied but he was unpredictable, and cruel. What if he ate her and didnt spit up the thief, and she had to sit there as they died, as they were digested. 

“Glad you could join me princess, I just had the most lovely meal,” he smiled even wider, showing off his sharp canines, and he stroked her back. 

“IM NOT DEAD YET YOU BASTARD!” the muffled protests of the thief came from his middle and he looked at it fondly. 

He definitely looked full and… oh dear gods she could see the slight dents and trembling shakes as the thief continued to struggle against the wizard’s gut. 

Fighting back tears Sophia glared into Yonah’s too-happy eyes. 

“Y-You’re going to spit them out... right?” she demanded. 

“WHO WAS THAT!!?” 

Yonah ignored the thief and his smile faltered as he hissed “Now, don’t go spoiling my fun dear princess, or- TSSS” he winced and held his stomach. 

“Something wrong!?” Sophia didnt know if she was worried for Yonah or the thief. 

“This one’s got some fight, that actually hurt,” he said, a single tear forming in the corner of his left eye. Then he saw Sophia’s face, hard and furious. 

“You’re going to let them go,” she hissed, “now!” 

There was a moment where Yonah was stunned, and the room was silent except for the screams of the thief. 

Then he furrowed his brow in (annoyance? He’s annoyed that she thinks she can 1) boss him around and 2) has to tell him to do his job correctly). 

Without any warning he took her in a fist, she yelled, but he had her firmly by his side as he stomped up the stairs to his workshop. He unceremoniously tossed her onto his desk and flashed his eyes. 

“You may want to avert your gaze,” he warned as he leaned over the desk. 

The sound was somehow more horrible from the outside. As soon as Yonah started to retch Sophia darted behind the mirror. It took nearly half a minute but when the nauseating sounds of regurgitation faded into hacking coughs Sophia chanced a glance. 

Sprawled out in a layer of mucus, stomach fluids, and saliva, was the thief. Still breathing. Still alive. And over them a scarlet faced Yonah, strings of spittle still dripping down onto his former victim. 

“Welcome back to the outside world little morsel” he growled as the thief stirred and looked up. Yonah had set his eyes ablaze once more and the thief cowered. 

“Th-thank you- for sparing me-” they stammered. 

/Hah hah hah hah/ Yonah’s amusement sent shivers down Sophia’s spine. He was… really good at this. This was an act. Right?

“It is not me you should be thanking, Jack,” and he looked at Sophia who’s eyes went wide, “My sweet little princess couldn’t bare to witness the end to your pointless existence in my bowls.”

/Was he serious?/

“I suggest you get out while you can” he turned back to Jack who was standing up but stopped, mid crouch at the attention back on them, “I’m not terribly fond of my princess or her feelings” he picked up Jack by the shirt collar, carrying them to the window, “she caught me in a rare good mood, which won’t last much longer.” He dropped Jack on the stone sill, leaning his face so that his nose nearly touched the human, “I’m hungry again, and you were oh so delicious,” he growled the last sentence with lick of his lips, a hiss of steam, and his hair sparking softly. 

Jack wasted no time in practically jumping out the window. 

Leaving Sophia alone once more with an angry half-FireWitch. 

But she would not be intimidated by him. He was her assigned guardian. He could not harm her unless he wanted to be turned into a tree and then cut down and burned to fuel the castle’s heating next winter. He would make a large tree, one that could heat the castle for the entire winter. 

Yonah wiped the spit from his mouth and sat at his desk, leaning back but not taking his eyes from the princess. 

“Next time you want to get involved, don’t fucking let them know they’re going to live,” he huffed, “Ruins the fun.”

[missmentelle]

i want to write a character who just left a toxic relationship, but the character depends on the toxic partner, because they are having trouble finding a job. when character leaves the toxic relationship, they are left with basically nothing and are kicked out of the only home they had. however i have never experienced something like this(fortunately) and im not sure what would and could happen. could you help me? (fyi later on the character does actually get help, in the end everything is ok)

Unfortunately, I do have a lot of experience with this kind of situation. I have never personally had to go through something like this, but in working with the homeless and in intimate partner violence crisis centers, I have met many, many people who’ve been in this exact situation. These stories are very individual and complex, but typically, if you have left a toxic relationship and lost your home because of it, there are a couple of places you end up from there:

If you have family and friends nearby, that’s probably the first place you’re going to land. You might end up sleeping on a couch, in a guestroom, or back in your old childhood bedroom after leaving an abusive relationship. That’s not an easy or comfortable situation to be in, however - it can be very, very difficult to admit to your loved ones that you’re in this situation and need their help, even if they have never been anything but loving and supportive towards you. Most people have some degree of pride in being able to take care of themselves, and having to admit to your friend that you were abused for years and you need to crash on their couch can be absolutely humiliating. Abusers also tend to isolate their victims and actively try to sabotage their social connections, so turning to friends and family after escaping often involves that you break months or years of silence to reach out to someone that you are no longer certain you can count on, and then immediately confessing some of your darkest secrets and asking for help. If your abuser has moved you far away from family and friends, and cut you off financially (another common tactic), you’ll also probably need to ask someone to send you some money for a bus/train/plane ticket home. The shame of having to reach out to family and friends can be so overpowering that many survivors will allow themselves to become homeless rather than reaching out - the greater the perceived obstacles in place (distance from family, closeness of relationship, time since last contact, whether or not the family already suspect abuse, how much of a burden they think they will be on their family), in my experience, the less likely they are to actually reach out. 

If you don’t have friends or family to turn to (or if you are not emotionally able to reach out, or if your friends/family are not in a position to help you), you can also end up in a domestic violence shelter. These vary wildly from shelter to shelter, but typically you will go in, speak to an intake worker, and be assigned to a shared room with several other women (these shelters are almost exclusively female-only, or female-and-child-only). The shelter will also typically provide the bare-bones basics that you need if you had to flee with nothing - they’ll give you basic toiletries, clean underwear, socks, etc. Your time at a domestic violence shelter is typically limited; they are somewhere to land while you get back on your feet, but they are not intended to be a long-term solution. Many shelters here in NYC do not have maximum stay limits, simply because this is such a difficult place to get housing, but I have worked with shelters in other cities that had 60-120 day limits, with some ability to get an extension if you needed in. In that time, though, you’ll generally be working with counsellors at the shelter to try to get your life together - they’ll try to help you with your resume, look into going back to school if you need to, help you look for work, help you look for employment, assist you with any court case you may be dealing with, etc. Again, though, this can take an enormous emotional toll. You’ve just been through a horrific experience, and instead of taking time to recover, you are now being rushed into achieving a level of independence that you might never have experienced before, with the knowledge that there is a ticking clock over your head and you don’t know what will happen when it runs out. You’re also trying to deal with the loss of privacy that comes from sharing your living space, and from having to tell your story to shelter staff before you’re totally ready to do so. Domestic violence shelters do amazing work, but being there is not easy. 

Many domestic violence survivors end up homeless. Many people who leave abusive relationships do not immediately have the life, job or emotional skills necessary to immediately transition to independent living. Abusers like to make their victims dependent on them, to discourage them from leaving - many people living in abusive relationships are prevented from completing their educations, furthering their careers, managing money, properly treating mental health or medical conditions, or fostering a strong social support network. As a result, many people struggle immensely after leaving a relationship, and may experience short-term or long-term homelessness as a result. This kind of thing doesn’t discriminate - in my career, I’ve met women with multiple graduate degrees who ended up in long-term homeless shelters after leaving abusive relationships. It’s hard. There is a strong, documented link between domestic violence and homelessness, and we don’t yet have the kinds of resources we need to break this connection. 

You’re almost definitely going to end up in an ugly legal battle. In many jurisdictions, it’s not really legal to kick your spouse out of the house and make them homeless and destitute - but the battle to get alimony or marital assets from your ex-spouse can be long and ugly. Abusers typically lash out when their victim escapes them, and one of the ways that they can try to do that is by attempting to make the divorce as messy, vicious and drawn-out as they possibly can. A woman who has left an abuser she is legally married to will face a long battle to divorce her spouse and get any kind of financial recourse. Abusers can generally afford much nicer lawyers than their victims can, and can afford to let the case drag on and rack up legal fees. There are pro-bono or low-cost legal resources out there for survivors, but the court case can take an enormous emotional toll all the same. 

Returning to the job market is incredibly difficult for most survivors. Again, abusers like their victims to be dependent on them - they will go out of their way to discourage you from fostering your independence. That often means that they will discourage or prevent you from finishing school, having a serious career, hanging on to your own money, or developing professional contacts. That can take many forms - they might move you away from a city where you have a career, tell you that you can’t afford school, ensure that you are constantly pregnant/parenting, constantly accuse you of cheating with coworkers, whine about you “neglecting” them until you agree to quit your job, etc. And all of this can be very hard to overcome. Having a large gap in your work history because your partner made you stay home for several years can make it hard to find work, and disclosing that this gap is due to domestic violence can hurt your chances of landing the job. Plus, many survivors come out of these relationships with their confidence absolutely shattered, which makes it difficult to think that you’re even worthy of applying on jobs that you are qualified for. 

Domestic violence (and life after domestic violence) is definitely a topic that could stand to get more coverage in fiction and the arts. When you are basing a story around domestic violence, though, I think there are three things that you really need to keep in mind:

What is my purpose in telling this story? What message am I trying to convey? Writing about domestic violence should not be done simply because it’s a shocking topic, or because it’s an instant tear-jerker - there should be some purpose for basing a story around it. What are you trying to say about the topic? What are readers supposed to take away from the story?

Talk to real survivors about their experiences, or at least do some research by looking at narratives from people who have personally experienced this. There is no end to the memoirs/stories/films/shows written about this topic by people who have actually been there. See what they have to say about it. What do different people’s stories have in common? What things set them apart? Ideally, you should try to have someone with personal experience read over your story when it’s finished, to see if anything comes across as hollow or unrealistic. And if you are basing your research heavily on a survivor creator’s work, try to buy their book/kick in a few dollars to their ko-fi or Patreon if you can. 

Consider what a “happy ending” looks like in this situation. The hard reality of the situation is that very few people get to have that victorious ending where they become more powerful and successful than their ex and get to destroy their abuser and laugh in their face. For many people, a “happy ending” is a quiet, humble life where they are no longer actively haunted by the abuse, and where they are at peace with the fact that their abuser faced no real consequences for their actions - and even this happy ending can take years to achieve. Having someone bounce back from this kind of situation quickly in a story can come across as flippant, and as glossing over the hard realities of the situation. 

Best of luck to you!Miss Mentelle

[you-get-to-exhale-now-cyrus]

Cyrus’ Dictionary

1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14

Summary: Cyrus has always been good with words; there’s a reason English is his favorite subject. But with TJ, he seems to be at a loss for words. When they get paired up for a summer assignment, Cyrus slowly starts to build a new dictionary. One that involves TJ and everything they do together. Along the way, maybe he’ll find the words to tell him how he feels.

Chapter 14: Querencia

Word Count: 4570

Read on AO3

A soft pattering of rain tapped against Cyrus’ window, crescendoing and getting softer at random intervals. Cyrus was eventually made aware of this, but didn’t want to open his eyes. He felt warm, safe, and a little lethargic, so he wasn’t in the mood for moving. But once he opened his eyes, boy was he glad he did.

TJ, snoring softly, lips slightly parted, was mere inches away from him. He looked like an absolute angel, and Cyrus had to remind himself that staring was impolite. But he’s asleep, so how would he know?  He took his hand out from under the covers, reaching out and brushing a lock of the other boy’s hair out of his face. It was soft, delicate, and Cyrus thought if he even breathed, he would shatter this moment. He wanted to be bold, to lean in a little and give him even a quick peck on his head, but that would be weird, right? Wanting to kiss your best friend?

He sighed, pushing off the covers with his legs and being careful not to wake TJ. Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, he felt a rush of blood from his head, shutting his eyes for a moment to regain his senses. Standing up, he tugged the covers to make sure that TJ was warm, grabbed his robe, and quietly padded down the stairs.

Leslie was already there, making breakfast when Cyrus arrived. “Morning,” he yawned, stretching his arms.

“Morning sweetie,” she greeted with a quick peck on his head, “how’d you sleep?”

“Good,” he mumbled through a bite of toast, “so, listen. I know this is going to sound weird, but TJ’s upstairs,” he started, “he came over last night, and, well,” he sighed, setting the food down, “he told his mom that he was gay, and he kind of left,”

Leslie seemed to reply with a sad smile. “That’s terrible. No child should ever have to go through that,” she murmured, putting a few more slices of bread into the toaster.

“And I sort of let him stay here overnight. . .and I’m not sure when he plans to go back, but, is it okay if he stays here for a while? I just, I wanna make sure he’s going to be safe before he goes back,”

Leslie smiled, buttering the toast and putting it on a plate. “Of course,” she agreed, handing the plate to Cyrus, “give him some breakfast, okay? Make sure he eats something,”

“I will, thanks,” he returned, climbing the stairs again. Entering the room, he saw that TJ was still asleep, so he set the plate on the nightstand, and took a seat on the edge of the bed.

“TJ, wake up,” he whispered, gently nudging him awake. TJ groaned, mumbling in his sleep.

I love you too. You’re so cute.

Cyrus felt his cheeks go red hot. He’s dreaming, he reminded himself, touching his hands to his cheeks in an attempt to cool them down. “TJ, c’mon, it’s time to get up,”

This time TJ reached his arms above his head, taking in a deep breath and puffing it out. His eyes fluttered open, revealing his brilliant green eyes once again. Cyrus really needed so have some self-control; soon he’d be getting lost in those eyes.

“Morning,” TJ mumbled, taking note of his surroundings, “wh-oh,” he remembered, a frown marking his face profoundly.

“I brought you breakfast,” Cyrus offered, handing him the toast.

TJ shook his head. “Not my meal. I’m not hungry,”

Cyrus persisted. “You are hungry, but you being upset is hindering that. Happens,” he explained, shoving the plate towards TJ, “just a few bites, please? I promise you’ll feel better,”

TJ scowled, tentatively holding the piece of bread that he thought would crumble before his very eyes with another touch. “Fine,” he grumbled, tearing off a piece and popping it in his mouth.

“So,” Cyrus started, flopping back onto the bed, “what should we do today? Probably can’t go to the park or anything, considering it’s been raining,”

“We can always invite people over and hang out as a group,” TJ suggested, finishing off his breakfast, “I don’t think we’ve hung out as a group in a while,”

Cyrus nodded in agreement, pulling out his phone and texting the groupchat.

journalism junkies

[cyrus: hey do u guys wanna come over at like 6 to hang out?]

“How are you feeling?” Cyrus asked, as if he was a doctor. He reached out, putting his hand on top of TJ’s, awakening a surge of butterflies trapped in his gut,

TJ shrugged, kicking the covers off. “Okay, as much as I can,” he admitted, trying to brush it off. He worried that he’d start crying all over again if he opened this wound again.

“You deserve the world, you know,” Cyrus mumbled, rubbing TJ’s hand with his thumb, “I’m really sorry about all this. My mom said that you could stay with us as long as you needed,”

TJ shook his head, rubbing his eyes with his hands; he really missed Cyrus’ touch in that moment. “I don’t want to impose on you guys,” he murmured bashfully, “I’ll go back really soon, I swear,”

Cyrus abruptly sat up, feeling the blood rush again; he had to stop doing that. “Are you insane? I’m not letting you go back until I know you’re going to be safe,” he said firmly, crossing his legs.

TJ waved him off, dismissing him as though he’d just apologized for bumping into him. “She’s not gonna hit me, Cy, I’ll be okay,” he promised him, but he didn’t mean the last part. I’ll be okay. Would he though? Not even he knew the answer to that.

“Okay, you’ll be fine physically, but what about emotionally? Teej, I don’t want you to have to suffer through living with her,” Cyrus worried, his teeth grazing his upper lip.

“I can’t just leave Amber alone,” he informed the other boy, shaking his head.

“Tell her she can come too,” Cyrus offered blindly, putting a hand on TJ’s shoulder,

TJ shook his head, placing his hand on top of Cyrus’. “I appreciate the offer, but I can’t have you just taking us in. It’s not fair to you,” he pointed out. Cyrus looked hurt at that, but TJ knew it was the truth; he already felt guilty that Cyrus was being so generous and letting him stay for a little while, but having him help Amber too. . .the guilt would consume him whole.

Cyrus frowned, gingerly removing his hand from TJ’s touch, and letting it fall into his lap. “I just. . .I wish there was actually something I could do,” he whined, screwing his eyes shut.

TJ placed a hand on Cyrus’ arm, using his free hand to lift the other boy’s chin. “You are doing something. Just you existing is enough, you know. I can be me around you, and that’s more than I can say about anyone. You’re the only person I can talk to like this. You’re…Cyrus you’re everything to me,” TJ admitted, feeling like his body was being pulled towards Cyrus’. Try and explain that one, physics.

Cyrus started leaning in, and for a split second, TJ thought he was going to faint or wake up from a dream where things ended happily and romantically. Instead, Cyrus pulled him in for a hug, rubbing circles into his back. It still felt really nice, having someone here for him.

“You are my everything, you know that? Without you,” he pulled back, lacing his hands with TJ’s, “I don’t even know who I’d be,”

Hot, hot, hot, hot. Fire. Warm. Heat. TJ comprehended what Cyrus had said, but all he could focus on was the budding heat between them. It was like they were a match and a matchbox, lighting each other aflame whenever they were together.

[andi: i’m down and so is amber!]

[walker: im there]

[jonah: if walker is coming, i’ll def b there]

[marty: party time laid ease]

[buffy: hm fine]

Smiling at his phone, Cyrus shut it off again, putting it aside. “They’ll be here at six,”

TJ nodded, rolling off the bed and grabbing his clothes. “I’ll change in the bathroom. Wouldn’t wanna give you a heart attack,” he joked, turning his back on a very flushed Cyrus. Shaking his head, the boy reached into the drawer of his nightstand, and pulled out his journal. He didn’t need help with this word.

querencia: a place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self

He shut it quickly, slipping it back into the drawer. Lord knows what would happen if TJ saw it and flicked through a few pages; it would progressively get worse, he mused. Shaking his head clear of negative thoughts, he sifted through his closet to get ready for the day.

“Left foot blue!” Marty called out over the music, struggling to contain his laughter as Cyrus, Buffy, and TJ all scrambled to try and move their legs. They looked like a tangled mess, each of them in a position that nobody would ever call natural.

TJ bumped Cyrus foot as they went for the same spot, and both of them came crashing down, ending up on top of one another. A chorus of gasps and ‘oohs’ swept through their friend group, effectively making their cheeks redder than the red dots on the Twister tarp. Cyrus giggles, sending TJ into a fit of laughter as well, both of them crawling off of the mat, and leaving Buffy alone.

“I win!” she cheered, collapsing to the ground with a soft thud, “I knew I’d beat you guys,”

“The modest Buffy Driscoll, ladies and gentlemen,” TJ teased, chuckling softly.

“What should we do now?” Walker asked, folding up the Twister tarp.

“Ooh, we could play paranoia! I’ve always wanted to play, but there’s never been enough people,” Jonah suggested, motioning for people to get into a circle.

“How do you play?” Amber chimed in, crossing her legs.

“Okay, so basically, you ask the person to your left a question, so like I would ask Andi,” he explained, “and you whisper a question in their ear, but the answer has to be a person. So like, if I would ask her ‘who has the prettiest hair’, she’d answer out loud,”

“Amber,” she replied, grinning like an idiot.

“But you guys don’t know what the question was,” he continued, “but you could! We flip a coin after Andi answers; heads she spills the question, tails she doesn’t,”

“Okay, but why is it called paranoia?” Marty wondered aloud.

“Because people are paranoid when other people say their name, but don’t know the question. For all the know, it could be ‘who would you kill’,” Jonah mused, shaking his head, “that probably won’t happen. Wanna play?”

Everyone agreed that this would be a fun way to pass the time, save for Buffy who was still riding the high of winning Twister. And even after Marty explained to her that there were no winners or losers of this game, she wasn’t totally convinced, even though she agreed to play.

“I’ll go first,” Andi chirped, turning towards Buffy and whispering a question in her ear.

Who is most likely to cry at movies?

Buffy snorted, crossing her arms. “That’s easy. Cyrus,”

Cyrus perked up, hearing his name. “Ooh, drama,” he exclaimed giddily, clapping his hands together.

Buffy rolled her eyes, pulling out a coin from her pocket and flipping it. All eyes were on the coin as it rolled on its side, and then landed on heads. A whisper of ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ filled the room, a few people eyeing Cyrus.

“I asked her who would be most like to cry at movies,” Andi piped, up, smiling sympathetically, “sorry Cyrus,”

Cyrus crossed his arms in mild annoyance, tilting his head up. “I just happen to be a little emotional,” he huffed.

TJ reached over Amber and patted him on the shoulder. “We know. It’s endearing,” he mumbled, earning what may have been the most incredulous look from Amber.

“Okay my turn,” Buffy cut in, turning towards Cyrus and asking him his question.

Who would you go watch a scary movie with?

“TJ,” Cyrus said with confidence. Jonah gave him a knowing look but Cyrus chose to ignore it. He flipped the coin, and it landed on heads. Suddenly he felt a lot less confident about his choice.

“I asked him who he would watch a scary movie with,” Buffy cooed, poking Cyrus’ side, while he attempted to swat her away.

TJ felt pairs of eyes staring him down. His face was an unnatural shade of pink, and he prayed that this awkwardness would die out soon.

“Because he’d warn me when all the bad part come,” Cyrus cut in, as if he could read TJ’s thoughts, “and he’d buy me popcorn,” he added, dissolving all tension in the room as people cracked up.

Cyrus leaned over and asked Amber her question.

Who would you trust with anything?

“. . .TJ, I guess,” she mumbled, taking the coin and flipping it. This time, however, it landed on tails, and everyone groaned. Everyone, that is, except for Amber, who couldn’t help but smirk.

“Alright, TJ,” Amber rubbed her hands together, her nose wrinkling up when she smiled, “your turn,”

Who is someone you have something important to tell?

TJ looked like he was going to leap at her throat, he he managed to maintain his cool. Trying to act nonchalant, he leaned back on his hands, saying “Cyrus,” in the most casual tone.

Amber looked at him as if she’d just won the lottery. Handing the coin to TJ, she watched as he flipped the coin. . .and it landed on tails. “For fuck’s sake,” she muttered, giving him a gentle shove, as he was giggling now.

“Boo hoo, Bambi didn’t get her way,” he toyed, leaning over to Walker.

Who is the most trustworthy person?

“Jonah, obviously,” he replied, blowing him a kiss, which Jonah happily ‘caught’.

Walker flipped the coin, which landed on heads. “I think you’re the most trustworthy person,”

“Aw,” Jonah cooed, smiling so hard his dimples looked like crevices in the earth.

“It’s true,” Cyrus chimed in, giving him a knowing look before turning his attention back to the game. It didn’t go unnoticed by TJ, who lingered on this for a moment. Why was Jonah the most trustworthy to Cyrus? Was he not trustworthy enough? Was he embarrassed to admit it if it were him? Ah, the lovely process of overthinking.

“My turn,” Walker piped up, turning to Marty.

Who do you wanna travel the world with?

Walker pulled back, crossing his arms proudly and waiting for a name to fill the room.

“TJ,”

Well, not that name. Walker gawked at him, his gaze flitting over to Buffy for a split second before he shook his head. “Oh. Okay,”

The rest of the group looked confused and bubbling with excitement, all at once. Buffy appeared unfazed, TJ was on edge, and the girls looked like they were barely paying attention. Walker handed Marty the coin, who flipped it with the utmost care. It rattled on the ground, rolling on its edge until it landed on heads.

Oh no.

Walker swallowed, picking up the coin and playing with it in his hands. “I-uh, well, I asked him who he’d. . .want to travel the world with,” he said quietly, his cheeks going hot.

Marty didn’t flinch, instead lifting his head to meet Buffy’s eyes. “Yup,” he stated, popping the ‘p’ at the end.

Everyone tensed up. TJ felt like he was going to be the subject of an interrogation. He bowed his head, not willing to make eye contact with people. Cyrus did the same, but for different reasons. He felt like part of his heart was being torn out, and he didn’t even know why.

“What about Buffy?” Jonah piped in, and TJ wanted to just pull him out of the room. Sweet Jonah, ever the oblivious one.

Marty didn’t bat an eye, narrowing his gaze. “I don’t think she’d want to travel the world with someone that she doesn’t like,” he spat, watching her face contort into one of confusion.

“I never said that!” she shot back, crossing her arms, “I said I-”

“-doesn’t matter,” he cut her off, waving his hand to dismiss her, and clearing his throat.

Andi looked between them, before clapping her hands together. “Next question?” she suggested, and Walker passed the coin along. Marty turned towards Jonah, scowling.

Who is most likely to fall in love with their best friend?

“Oh, Cyrus,” Jonah answered smoothly, turning his gaze towards his friend. Cyrus didn’t even seem phased; his feelings felt so overwhelming that it was almost as if he was numb and on high alert at the same time.

Jonah took the coin from Walker, and flipped it. He groaned when it landed on tails, but he shrugged it off, passing the coin down. Cyrus was beginning to understand why the game was called paranoia.

Jonah turned towards Andi, asking her her question.

Who would you wanna switch lives with for a week?

Andi thought about it for a moment, looking around at her group of friends before finally saying “Amber,”

The blonde perked up at that, her eyes lighting up like a fire. She waited for Andi to flip the coin, which, fortunately, landed on heads.

“I asked her who she wanted to switch lives with for a week,” Jonah supplied.

Amber’s smile quickly faltered. “What?” she asked, “why would you wanna switch lives with me of all people? My mom sucks,”

Andi shrugged, knitting her hands together. “I know, I just wanna see what it’s like in your shoes,” she admitted, earning a few coos from the crowd, “plus, I’d probably get to listen to TJ talk about Cyrus,” she blurted out, clapping her hand over her mouth after she’d said it.

The room fell silent; even the music they were playing had stopped. Cyrus looked like he was going to cry, and TJ was worried that if his face went any redder, he’d burst. The rest of the crew looked around, trying to survive through this awkward bout.

“I mean, like, in a normal friend way,” Andi added quickly, but there really was no use in her saying anything else. What was said was said, and there was no way she could take it back.

Cyrus dug fingers into his palms, trying, in vain, to distract himself from what was going on. Everything seemed to be falling apart right before his eyes; not just things with TJ, but everything with Buffy and Marty. . .it all felt like too much. He could feel his eyes burning, his lower lip start to wobble, and his breathing becoming shallow. Before he could break down right there and then, he quickly stood up, bolting towards the bathroom, and shutting the door. He locked it, sliding down the door and holding his head in his hands.

“Cyrus?” there was a knock on the door, and then a voice. Andi’s voice.

“Go away,” he snapped, but there was very little edge to his voice.

“Cyrus, please let me in,” she pleaded, her hand on the doorknob. Cyrus rolled his eyes, even though she couldn’t see her, but he moved away from the door, unlocking it. She pushed through, and shut the door behind her.

“What do you want?” he retorted, crossing his arms.

“I’m sorry,” she started, her voice small and meek, “I didn’t mean to bring up you and TJ and-”

“-and my silly, stupid-ass crush on him, I get it. I fucking get it that it’s pointless because he probably likes Marty or some shit like that,” he spat, the curse words tasting a little strange. He never really used them, and heck, he usually reprimanded people for using them.

Andi looked taken aback, her eyes softening. “That’s. . .not what I mean at all. Marty?”

Cyrus glowered at her. “Travel the world, don’t you remember?”

“Oh,” Andi mumbled, “I don’t think he really meant that,” she tried to soothe him, reaching out her hand, but Cyrus pushed it away.

“Oh, really? How the hell do you know that, hm?” he grumbled, “you don’t,”

“Cyrus, please,” she tried, but he cut her off.

“No Andi,” he interrupted, looking like he was on the verge of tears, “I’m done with this. I’m done letting you guys convince me that there’s something else between me and TJ. I’m breaking my own heart loving him. For the longest fucking time, I was torn between holding on to what you were promising and accepting the reality that it wouldn’t happen,” he choked out.

“Cyrus, Marty and TJ aren’t-”

Cyrus put a hand up. “You don’t have to say it, Andi,” he said softly, “I care about him so much. and you know what people say about love; you do whatever is best for someone else even if it doesn’t include you” he whispered, his voice weak, and his eyes threatening to spill over with tears. Andi tried to say something, but Cyrus got up off of the floor, and left the bathroom.

He looked around for Amber, but he didn’t see her. Walker and Buffy were over by one of the couches talking, presumably about what had happened. Andi had walked over to Jonah, and her mouth was moving so fast that Cyrus couldn’t keep up with what she was saying. And, near the back of the room, were TJ and Marty. They were talking, yes, but when TJ pulled Marty in for a hug, Cyrus felt so small. He wanted the ground to come alive and swallow him whole. He wanted to block that out from his mind, but he knew that wouldn’t be happening anytime soon. Cyrus shook his head, running up the stairs and into his bedroom, shutting the door. He really didn’t to cry, but it felt like he didn’t have a choice.

Grabbing his journal, he started to write.

6/29

Today I invited all my friends over to hang out. We were playing paranoia, and then Buffy and Marty started to argue about their relationship. That wasn’t even the worst; Andi brought up me and TJ, and I just felt so exposed. I really didn’t want people to know about my feelings for him, but now I feel like they will. Things with Marty and TJ escalated, and I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something more there. Andi tried to tell me that there isn’t anything there, but I don’t believe that. This is why I always want to lock all my emotions away. Because the moment I let them loose, I fall hard. I fall with no one there to catch me, so I hit the pavement and shatter.

Some of his writing had smudged, as a result of his tears. TJ and Marty’s names blurred into one blob. How fitting, he thought. His phone buzzed a few times, and he opened them, out of habit.

[amber: went home. hope things are okay <3]

[jb: walker n i left, lmk if u need anything]

[slayer: see u tmrw, cy, ily. sorry about the fighting]

[marty party: went home dude, hope everything’s fine]

[andi another thing: cyrus im so sorry about what i said. im going home, but i really want things to be okay with us. i love u]

Putting it back on his nightstand, he lied down on his bed, putting the palms of his hands on his eyes. There was a soft knock at the door, and then it opened. Why knock if you’re going to come in anyways? Cyrus wondered, sitting up.

“Hey,” TJ said softly, shutting the door, “you okay? You kind of disappeared,”

Cyrus really didn’t want to talk about it; he especially didn’t want to talk about it with TJ because he’d probably explode with feelings. And that was exactly what he wanted not to happen.

“I’m fine,” he snipped, clearly lying. TJ frowned, taking a seat on the bed with Cyrus.

“Okay,” he replied worriedly, “. . .do you wanna do something else?”

“Why don’t you go ask Marty,” Cyrus drawled, “I’m sure he’d love to do something with you,”

“What are you talking about?” TJ asked, “what do you mean?”

“Why don’t you lovebirds go travel the world together,” Cyrus suggested, bowing his head down.

“Oh,” TJ mumbled, remembering, “that’s nothing, really.”

Cyrus didn’t respond, instead remaining fixated on one spot on the floor.

“It’s. . .stuff with Marty and Buffy,” TJ explained, earning a nod from Cyrus.

“Ah, yes. Love and not love,” Cyrus mused, lying down on the bed. TJ leaned back as well, both of them now staring at the ceiling.

“Marty’s just pissed because he feels like his relationship with Buffy is in shambles,” TJ sighed, running a hand through his hair, “don’t tell him I told you that,”

Cyrus nodded, miming zipping his lips. “I think I’m going to turn in early,”

TJ bopped his head, getting up off of the bed and sifting through his bag.

“Hey TJ?”

“Hm?”

“What did Amber ask you earlier? When you said my name?” he asked, propping himself up on his elbows.

TJ felt his face heat up again, as he pulled out his pajamas. “Oh, uh, she asked me. . .who I had something important to say to,” he winced, hoping Cyrus wouldn’t press on.

“Oh, really? What is it?” Cyrus asked, suddenly feeling more alert.

TJ pretended to yawn, stretching his arms up above his head. “Can we talk about it tomorrow? I’m kinda tired,” he said, shifting his focus to his pajamas again. He hated lying to Cyrus, but he really didn’t want to get into this tonight.

“Oh, yeah,” Cyrus mumbled, disappointed, “totally,” he added, scooting over to the opposite side of the bed, and patting the spot next to him.

TJ crawled into the bed, frowning at the added space between him and Cyrus. He knew they weren’t fighting, exactly, but he could still sense something. He turned to face Cyrus, and sure enough, Cyrus turned to meet his eyes as well. God, he looked beautiful.

“What?” Cyrus asked softly, bringing his hand under his head.

“. . .nothing,” TJ whispered, smiling weakly, “night, Cy,”

“Night, TJ,” Cyrus mumbled, tugging the covers up and shutting his eyes.

TJ reached down off the bed and grabbed his phone from out of his bag. Sure enough, he had a text from Amber.

[andi’s girlfriend: jesus are things between you and cyrus okay?]

[Me: yeah, things are good.  how are things at home w/ mom?]

[andi’s girlfriend: weird. it’s weird not having u here]

[Me: whats she saying about me?]

[andi’s girlfriend: nothing really. she’s acting like nothing happened]

[Me: figures. i’ll see u tmrw?]

[andi’s girlfriend: night tj. i love u (and so does cyrus skdjfhdsj)]

[Me: love you too (platonically)]

TJ dropped his phone back into his bag and turned so that he was facing Cyrus. He was already asleep, his knees up in his chest, his breathing soft and slow.

“I love you, Cy,” TJ whispered into the night, pressing a kiss to his own fingers, and lightly touching Cyrus’ temple. Smiling, he tugged on the covers, and shut his own eyes, letting fatigue overcome him.

Tag List: @shortstackofpeaches || @seanna313 || @geekingbeautytx || @heavenlybyers || @ginnychrises|| @wlwandimack || @giocondasstuff || @lemonboytyrus || @adorejrizzle || @swingsetboys || @ifellintotyrushell || @idk-dude-17 || @rbf-lesbian || @marianara-sauce || @kaptainjinxz || @alex-poster-pizz || @quietmarvel || @blueberry-my-hero-macadamia || @broadwayitbitch || @tjsmuffin || @tjthekippen || @idpleasesir || @hi-hello-hey-there || @bingewatchingenthusiast|| @booklove-2 || @illbeyourreasonwhy || @birdiesandflowers || @whistlepunk || @phinallyjackie || @thedampjofangirl || @tyrus4eva || @tj-is-a-lemony-boy || @tj-goodman-bittersweet-boy || @dis-app-oin-tme-nt || @nessarinthegay || @breadisticks || @typewriter-riz || @gobletofash || @bluemuffinboy || @sofuuh || @cheesystars || @tjmuffin || @multifandom-bxitch || @allylovessadie || @hithatsmyname || @tyrusinarush || @tyrus-lookback || @gaycefulwords || @theobligatedklutz || @bambikippen ||

[tyranttortoise]

Sure!  You guys can always feel free to send me an IM.  If you don’t get a response within a day or two, poke me again because I tend to miss them.  Don’t worry if you’re shy; I never get annoyed by IM’s.

Absolutely feel free!  I adore any kind of fanfic set in the SSLL verse!  <3  You guys are free to do whatever you’d like with it.  Just tag me or send it my way because I’d love to read it.  =D

I’ve actually got a few sets of bros answered for this!  I’d do it for the US/SF bros, but honestly, there isn’t that much of a difference so it’s not worth it.

UT/UF bros

HT bros

How did I not see this ask sooner?  This one made me really happy because you totally nailed my depictions of them in the best way.  

Also, same, anon.  Same.  Only I’d also bone Edge.  And, you know.  Both of them together while I’m at it.  

@disasterbisexual   This ask made my day.  <3  I forever want to be Lady and Mistress of the Tortoises.  x]  Thank you so much for being your sweet self!!

I updated it less than a week ago, anon.  No worries; it’s def still going on!  <3  I just don’t have a set update schedule.  Fallout 76 is taking my free time for the most part 8D

I support this as canon.  <3

@whatevenisiteren   <333  I need art of that in my life.  He fits it so well!

@ruby-the-wolf  I’m glad you enjoyed it!! <33  Oh man, it was definitely chaos.  It’s just the skeles running around and her struggling to keep up in the tiny room.  x]

Most def!  I wanted to throw them in the last chapter, but it was just too many skeletons.  They’ll show back up again eventually!  I really need to sit down and write the short fic about them I’ve had planned for like a year now lol.

@tuestika   I’m so glad you enjoy it!  <3  Skeleton harems are the best kind of harems as far as I’m concerned.  ;D  Thank you so much for reading, and for dropping me an ask!

Space is Outertale Sans for sure.  ;D  I got quite a few requests for a cameo with him, so I wanted to go into some of my headcanons in the fic!  Also, sorry that you’ve been worried your asks are being eaten!  I just don’t answer all my asks/I wait for several non-imagine asks to pile up so I can answer them all at once instead of spamming my blog.  Also, I don’t think I got any vent asks from you, so if you sent any of them, they really did get eaten!

Speaking of your asks, I just found one buried within the depths of my askbox, so I’m going to post it up here, too.  

I want to, but I really suck at coming up with good questions for the quiz!  

... Also, I refreshed my askbox and found this ask below, too.  Sometimes asks just disappear for me and then reappear if I refresh it a couple of times??  

I’ll introduce them in a bonus chapter at some point.  =]  I’ve actually written about Dancetale and Outertale in my other Undertale fic!  It’s an Explicit fic, however, but both of those chapters were completely smut-free.

@ut-stuff  That part was in there just for you. ;D  

xD  I like the way your brain works because this is fantastic.  I’m constantly trying to pop my back, and now this is going to be what I think of every single time.

@dontexpectmuchxd   Ahhhh, sorry this took me so long to reply to!  I just saw this buried in my askbox!

The best thing about being an adult is the freedom.  If I want to buy something, I have the means to buy it, and if I want to go on a trip, I can go.  

The worst part is the, uh... lack of freedom.  8D  Just because I can go somewhere doesn’t mean I don’t still have a boatload of people telling me I shouldn’t.  If I have any advice for my younger followers, it’s that you should follow your dreams as soon as you can.  If I could go back, I would’ve taken a traveling job right out of college, and I would’ve been a lot happier.  Now, I’m locked into staying in a place that I hate, surrounded by negativity -- which is why I’m so against negativity on my blog!  I get it enough in my day-to-day lol.  

But yeah, my adult advice is to do what makes you the happiest and remember to budget responsibly so you won’t have to worry about the bill part of being an adult.  And build your credit.  I can’t stress how important that is.  I know this wasn’t really an advice question, but it’s 4AM so I just went off the rails with it.

@student-on-the-run   Sorry this one’s so late, too!  I’m digging through my inbox during a nightshift to see what I missed.  I’m glad you enjoyed SSLL -- and the all-nighter is most def the highest of compliments to a fic writer.  <33  Thank you so much for dropping me such sweet messages!  And hey, I’m happy to include more skeleton terminology.  x]  I keep meaning to finish up a one-shot involving Stretch and learning proper bone anatomy, ha.  I hope you’re doing well, hun!  <3  Thanks again!

It’s place that’s always open and makes delicious waffles!  It also has burgers and typical diner food, but the pecan waffles are where it’s at.  If I’m ever super tired or working late, I always go by and grab a waffle and some coffee.  It’s good and really cheap, too.

xD  I mean, same.  I’ll write something up with virgin Stretch, don’tcha worry.  And thanks so much!  I’m so glad you like the little details.  ;]

I’m with you, anon.  Monsters definitely have white souls.  However, I know that a lot of people tend to assign soul traits to monsters via their magic preferences, which I’m totally for.  I wrote a bit about magic colors and why a monster’s magic (i.e. ecto tongue, etc) may manifest in a specific color during the Stretch/Red/Landlady date in SSLL.   

[rosetowersfanfic]

The Best Laid Plans of Ducks and Mutants

After another plan goes awry, Negaduck berates his team. Afterwards they pick up the pieces and get pizza.

Based on my au/reboot idea

Negaduck sat leaning back into the shadows from behind his desk, glaring at the rest of the team assembled before him.

“Well boys, does anyone here know why the heist failed? Again!” He snarled.

The Fearsome Five had planned to rob a bank that night; their leader had found a way to discreetly cut a hole in the side of the building from the alleyway right into the vault. Negaduck’s plan had required total silence to avoid notice; this had promptly gone south halfway through, as a mistake had lead to nearby security guards being alerted and the five of them having to retreat before Darkwing Duck showed up.

Negaduck eyed Megavolt. “How ‘bout you, Sparky? You remember what happened?”

Megavolt trembled, struggling to remember the plan itself, let alone how it went wrong.

“Hey, don’t pick on him! It’s not his fault we almost got caught!” Quackerjack snapped, slamming his hands onto the desk.

Negaduck leaned forward into the toymaker’s face. “True. I do believe it was because someone was laughing at his own lame jokes!”

Quackerjack scowled. “I was bored, so Mr Banana Brain told me a joke to pass the time.”

He brought out the toy in question and put on a squeaky voice. “Hey, don’t blame me, Smee! I’m not the one who can’t sit still for more than ten minutes.”

Bushroot snorted. “A real leader would’ve planned for Quackerjack’s boredom, like you should’ve last time at that museum.”

Negaduck’s eye twitched. “You wanna repeat that, Turnip Brain?” He growled.

“Now, now everyone. Experts would agree that the limited time offer on Quacky’s attention span is not easy to predict,” Liquidator offered nervously, sliding up to Negaduck’s side.

“Boss, maybe we should let him stay behind to play next time we have a quiet mission, huh?” He shrunk down until he was shorter than Negaduck and clasped his hands behind his back in hopes of appearing placating.

Negaduck rubbed his face. “Oh shuddup ya kiss up. Last I heard, the lookout is supposed to warn his team before security bust us and call for backup, instead of napping!”

He took a bag of cement out from under the desk. “Wanna explain that, ya wet noodle?”

Liquidator trembled. “I-I figured you’re amazing plan would go off without a hitch a-and, um…”

“Just drop it, Negaduck! We didn’t get captured and no one even knows it was us, quit being a jerk and go plot a better plan,” Bushroot said heatedly.

For a while, the mutated duck and inter-dimensional terrorist were engaged in a stare-off.

Eventually, Negaduck broke eye contact and jumped out of his seat.

“Ya know what, between the sniveling, the nonsense, the sucking up, and the useless criticism, I’ve just about had with you morons for the night.”

With that, Negaduck stomped off to his private rooms.

Bushroot huffed. “Licks’, you need to start standing up to Negadork. Your like a doormat around him.”

Liquidator pouted. “The survey shows I’m not the only one scared of the boss.”

He pointed to Megavolt, currently in a fetal position on the floor. Quackerjack was sat beside him, petting his head gently.

“Oh yeah, well you still haven’t explained why you fell asleep,” Quackerjack retorted.

Megavolt blinked. “Hey, yeah! If you’d seen those guards in time, Quacky coulda sorted them out before he started laughing! Now Negaduck’s mad and it’s all your fault!” He yelled, now remembering what happened.

Quackerjack frowned. “That’s not what I meant, Sparky.” The toymaker didn’t like when his friends fought and blamed each other. “It’s probably Negaduck’s fault anyway.” Everyone turning against one another just gave him more power.

Bushroot frowned. “Although, I have to ask. Why did you fall asleep? You usually don’t need it.”

Liquidator frowned. “Experts agree that three days straight on stakeout makes even the most energetic worker a bit tired,” he answered, his voice weary.

Bushroot clenched his fists. For the heist, everyone had been assigned different roles; Quackerjack and Megavolt built the machine to cut into the vault, Negaduck would use it, and Brushroot would grab the cash. Liquidator had been ordered to stakeout the bank to learn the security guards’ patterns, and on the night of the heist he would be on lookout. It was, however, a little known fact that while Liquidator didn’t need as much sleep as a mortal would, he was still a living being who needed his rest. Normally, the water dog took power naps every so often to function poperly, but by the sounds of things Negaduck hadn’t even allowed that.

“See Megsy, it all goes back to Negadweeb. He made Licky exhausted and let me get bored.” Quackerjack tugged at his hat and whined. “That meanie always ruins everything! Why do we even work for him anyways?!”

Bushroot took a deep breath. “Because like it or not, Negaduck’s the only one with any chance of taking down Negadrip. We need him.”

Everyone looked at the floor sullenly as the tension settled on them like lead. As the caped crusader’s counterpart, Negaduck was the only one who could possibly defeat him, alongside the other most dangerous criminals in St. Canard. He needed them, and they needed him, leading to an unfortunate alliance to the short-tempered criminal.

On the other hand, the four of them had become good friends almost immediately, so they at least had each other to help cope with their leader.

Quackerjack suddenly bounced up onto his feet. “Ugh, I hate it when everyone gets all mopey! Who wants pizza?!”

The others couldn’t help but grin. Quackerjack’s answer to all of life’s woes usually involved toys and food. He was also the only one who could lift everyone’s mood after a meeting with Negaduck.

“Alright, let’s get pizza,” Bushroot agreed. “We can go to my place and hang out.”

“Why can’t we go to my hideout?” Quackerjack and Megavolt said in unison.

“Because I’m not dealing with light bulbs or toys everywhere and I wanna check on my plants,” Bushroot answered.

Liquidator slung his arm around Bushroot’s shoulders. “Then let’s go, go, go!”

After a pit stop at a small pizzeria that served decent food and didn’t question when super villains and heroes alike dropped by - no matter how beaten up they sometimes were when they arrived - the four headed over to Bushroot’s greenhouse.

Everyone settled around the table with three boxes of pizza. Reggie couldn’t actually eat normal food anymore so after tending to his plants he settled down with his roots in a box of soil; Bud could eat, but this involved dissolving the food around where his stomach once was, so he had to sit with the table up to his chest so he wouldn’t gross out Elmo, and to avoid Jack poking at him trying to see how it worked.

“Seriously, Buddy. Why didn’t you tell Negadork you needed rest? Or just come to me about it, I could’ve sorted it out,” Reggie sighed.

Bud rubbed his shoulders. “It pays not to start fights with the boss,” he answered awkwardly.

Reggie rolled his eyes. “You’re a water elemental. You know what kind of power you have, so use it! Make a point. Or at least don’t let yourself be pushed around if you won’t actually fight back, just make the point that you can.”

Reggie knew all about dealing with bullies and bad bosses of course. Once upon a time he had let himself get pushed around and had eventually had his whole world pulled out from under him. As a mutant, however, Reginald Bushroot hardly knew the meaning of the word fear.

Bud was of the same opinion, and had also put on a confident front in his old life; but to get to where he had been he’d kissed up to his old bosses to get on top, now those instincts came back whenever he saw Negaduck. Also, the guy just plain scared him.

“Aw, let ‘im be Reggie, we can’t all be angry at everything all the time like you. Frankly it just sounds exhausting,” Jack said.

Reggie rolled his eyes. “Like you can talk about being exhausting, Jack, and stop playing with your food.”

Jack looked up from his attempts to make faces on his pizza slice with the toppings.

“Ya know, Reg, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” he grinned.

Everyone else groaned at the bad joke.

“Oh please, that one was hilarious and you all know it.”

“I just wish he wouldn’t push us around like that,” Elmo said, staring at his pizza forlornly. “I mean, we’re not the only ones who screw up our plans,” he stopped and frowned, “I think. He’s messed up some too, right?”

Jack nodded and patted his friend’s shoulder. “Absolutely. Like that time he got so mad he set off the laser cannon early before Dripwing got anywhere near it and we got our butts kicked before it could recharge.”

“Was that the time we held the mayor for ransom, or the time we took over the harbour?”

“I think those were the same plan, we kept the mayor in the brig on that big ship.”

Soon the evening turned to complaining about Negaduck and the various ways he’d ruined his own plans, or had just generally upset anyone in the group.

“Ya know what?!” Jack announced, bagning his fist on the table. “We should all just boot Negadork outta the team. We keep losing with him anyway, he hasn’t beaten Dripwing, and he’s a big old meanie!”

Elmo shook his head frantically. “Not a chance, he’d kill us.”

Bud nodded in agreement. “Experts agree that Negaduck would wipe out a riot without a second thought.”

“Oh please, if he can’t take out Darkwing, what chance does he have against three mutants and Jack,” Reggie said.

“Just cause he can’t beat Darkwing, doesn’t mean Negaduck is weak,” Elmo explained. “And besides, Darkwing never actually wants to hurt us, Negaduck wouldn’t hold back.”

Everyone sighed. It was true, whilst the caped crusader was certainly the bane of their existence, no one could say he didn’t care about their welfare, often trying to detain the four of them as quickly and painlessly as possible. His little sidekick, Quiverwing Quack, was a bit of a wild card in that regard; but on the most part she followed in her mentor’s footsteps to help others as much as possible.

Negaduck, on the other hand, revelled in violence and mayhem. As much as he needed the Fearsome Five’s help, as Darkwing was always just barely a step ahead of him, he was also just as capable of dealing with them as his counterpart, and far more willing to tear each of them to pieces, molecule by molecule, should they rise up.

Jack squirmed in his seat. “Ugh, everyone’s getting all depressed again! Let’s go watch a movie.”

They couldn’t agree more, wanting to be rid of the hopeless feelings clogging their thoughts, at least temporarily. Soon, Reggie had set up his stolen TV and found a movie. The three of them squeezed onto his stolen sofa, with Bud resting happily in a paddling pool.

A few hours later everyone was out cold in the dim light of the TV, the credits rolling; Jack and Elmo leaned against each other, Reggie was draped over the arm of the sofa as close to Bud as he could be without actually being in the paddling pool, and Bud relaxed his dog-like form to simply be a puddle for the night. For a little while, they just let each other feel safe.

[rigginsstreet]

Strangerdale is so good but what I really wanna see is fred and fp fitting into Hawkins in the 1980s!!! There isn’t enough 80s parentdale content. And Fred and Steve are so similar in my mind: cute, popular playboys with a secret heart of gold pining after a girl who won’t say “I love you” back and ignoring their sexual tension with members of the same sex.. I wanna see them at Hawkins high and investigating weird lab shit and going to parties in the suburbs.

But also love what you said once about Fred and FP canonically being pre-teens while Billy and Steve are teenagers. The thought of an older Billy mentoring a baby FP and taking pains to set him on a different path from where he ended up because he knows they’re too much the same is heartbreaking.

i have been thinking about this message.... all fucking day

first of all i wanna say that at my core i truly believe from a “realistic” canon standpoint (everyones still gay fight me ras) fred was 100% oblivious to any sexual tension going on between him and fp in high school or at the very least he was constantly sent into a gay panic about it. and where billy is constantly going “look at me, steve” “talk to me, steve” “acknowledge me, steve” fp is the complete opposite with fred. he just suffers in silence

and steves issue isnt so much that he’s hung up on nancy, its more that he’s now so insecure about relationships that he doesnt know how to navigate being in one anymore. which is why he and billy stick to friends with benefits for the longest time- and they were getting the benefits long before they were friends. but fred? fred wants to be in a relationship all the time. he’s ready to say i love you to every pretty face he sees. he just cant seem to ever get himself into the relationship he’s supposed to be in. (and poor fp is forever internally screaming “IM RIGHT HERE YOU DOPE!”) 

as for the lab shit... ho boy. i see fred as being once again very similar to steve when it comes to getting involved. fred by nature isnt a fighter but the minute he sees some big ass slimy alien looking creature coming after his friends? its. going. down. also imagine fred and steve with their matching baseball bats. adorable. 

billy and fp of course use fighting monsters and government agents as a way to let out their rage. billy no longer feels the need to attack innocent people for so much as looking at him wrong (he still struggles with lashing out but he’s getting better) and fp just figures this is cheaper than therapy. (oh but you best believe fp will end up having panic attacks from all these monsters and other worldly dimensions and its something he and steve share and eventually end up confiding in each other).

also if theres a situation that arises where they need to question one of the lab workers, steve and fred end up playing good cop to billy and fps bad cop.

and the parties! billy and fp off to the side drinking their beers judging whatever rich suburban assholes house they ended up in while fred and steve are out on the dancefloor bopping to glorious 80s synth pop.... and no matter how much billy and fp complain about the music their boys look cute as hell and theres no denying it.

oh and theyre all on the basketball team.

aesthetically i see fred being that all american boy next door type but not in the preppy way steve is. its definitely a lot more casual and laid back. fp i see being punk. not extreme punk like mohawk and piercings, think more along the lines of the ramones. i feel like fp and jonathan would be friends.

and ugh god yes billy being a mentor is so good always !!! who better to help troubled youths than a former troubled youth?! even the idea of billy being forced into some after school program where he has to deal with kids because he got arrested and this is his community service, and he’s assigned to fp and at first the both of them hate it and billys only here because he doesnt want to go to jail, but eventually he and fp start warming up to each other and billy finds out what an ass fps dad is and billy also suspects fp might be into boys because of the way he’s always going on about his best friend fred andrews... billy starts to really see himself in this kid and now has this overwhelming need to protect him that just snuck up on him... :’)

[swampgallows]

really feel like im gonna struggle to ever integrate into society. i struggle to chill w people my own age because a lot of them have careers n shit (i think... i guess? i dont really know actually lmao cause i dont talk to em) or theyre dating people and i cant really tell people what im up to because theyre condescending about it. “oh youre still into the rave thing huh?” yeah i’m “still into” it, sorry. you got two kids and a husband and youre living w your parents still too, that’s not a life i envy. id rather keep my ‘childish’ interests, thanks.

and i dont drink or do drugs so a lot of Adult Outings make me uncomfortable or are not right for me. and any time i want to find sober anything it becomes religious or recovery related, or it is considered exclusively for children. i have no problem being in the vicinity of alcohol but i dont want to hang w people while they’re using controlling substances because it sucks for everybody involved: they cant enjoy themselves because they feel self-conscious around me being the sober one, and then i feel bad for making them self-conscious but am also uncomfortable with them using substances around me. and of course i mean substances for the purpose of getting fucked up, not as medication. except in the case of weed which is a huge monumentally major trigger for me (whether i mentally prepare myself to be around it or not).

raves are the perfect blend for me. people who wanna get fucked up can, people who dont want to dont have to, and everybody is there to have a good time in their own way. they wear what they want, they dance how they want, and they generally dont infringe on anybody else’s good time with weird stuff like sexual advances or whatever. and if something like that is going down (like when RTC strips down and starts fucking on stage basically) you can always go somewhere else without having to sacrifice listening to the music or enjoying yourself otherwise. there’s generally outdoor areas (or people will let you in/out if it’s not the shadiest) to chill or if you need a breather, people are willing to help you, etc. i dunno raves compared to clubs or bars are vastly VASTLY superior. youd think id be able to stand the latter two since i rave all the time but i just cant (also because there is never any good music at clubs).

plus im not dating anybody and being ace is a shit and a half in terms of All of That, it’s another fuckin hang up on my perceived adulthood that im unpalatable or a freak or something is wrong w me if i’ve “gone this long” being single. sorry all the dudes who have been into me have been petulant children or massive abusive jerks and im not open enough about my bi-ness to be visible to women i dont think. either way im entirely de-sexed and this is the age where people are definitely fuckin, and fuckin with a PURPOSE. theyve all had like ten years of practice by this point (whether actually having sex or not, theyre just programmed to understand it) and so most people dont have time for a stiff like me who really doesnt give a shit about sex or ranges to even actively fucking hating it. i also havent developed feelings for anybody in a long time unless you count my tumblr crush (who im pretty sure has a partner anyway lmao and they seem pretty sexual actually so i dont think theyd, among many other reasons, give a shit about my dumb ass) and that can be really alienating too. 

my high school best friend got married yet to me i feel like the only development i’ve had since high school is Trauma and mental illness. like i developed dissociative episodes in the last few years whereas in high school i basically only had the chronic insomnia and hypnagogic hallucinations. i mean i certainly think i’ve developed AS A PERSON in HUMONGOUS strides since high school but i know people i knew then will just be like “oh you still do ‘the rave thing’ and play WoW, huh?”

like yeah, i dunno, FUCK ME for enjoying my interests. i quit wow when i needed to and im glad i did but it’s not WoW’s fault i entered a morass of suicidal depression in the years i wasnt playing. WoW had run its course at that time in my life. and at the latter end of that i was going to raves regularly, making the BEST lifelong friends i have ever had, and generally being part of something greater, part of a community that genuinely cared about me. i was working out further kinks with my ability to socialize and love and be open to people (as i will continue to do until i die) but i feel there is arguably a much larger capacity to love in me than before. so i still wear kandi, so i still wear black clothing, so i still prattle on about orcs and trolls. fuck off. at least now i dont hate myself and let myself get raped every day, at least now im not mindlessly swallowing and regurgitating actively racist rhetoric out of fear of confronting my parents’ hatred or by surrounding myself with the dregs of society, at least now i dont want to “sew up my vagina” because i detest my womanhood and the men who covet(ed) it

currently i play wow honestly like maybe twice a week. i went on a bender with diego my REAL LIFE FRIEND LMFAO (like what, stop enjoying time w your friends, it isnt grown up!) a few days ago and we played for like 6 straight hours which was pretty fuckin wild. i think about wow a LOT like TOO mcuh and all of my art recently has been wow-related but holy shit i am drawing at least 

since playing wow again (almost concurrent with when i had started my job) i did more drawing than i did in probably all 4.5 years of college, assignments or otherwise. i was drawing EVERY DAY, legitimately, even if they were just quick scribbles. and when i wasnt i was writing every single fucking day. and when i wasnt, i was READING. like FUCK me for having warcraft as a motivation to do fucking anything in my goddamn life. youre right, abandoning my interests and adopting ones i hate for the sake of appearing more adult is totally worth the mind-numbing soul-eating depression i crumble into without these silly safety nets.

like that’s all it is. it’s silly. raves are silly. video games are silly. “good luck getting laid” thanks i dont need it. “good luck finding someone who loves you” fuck you i have plenty of people who love me BECAUSE of the things i love, not “in spite” of them, not in some tongue-in-cheek “That’s our Swamp!” fashion. they say, “THIS IS GREAT. PLEASE MAKE MORE.” they say, “THIS IS GREAT. PLEASE TELL ME MORE.” they say, “THIS IS GREAT. PLEASE PLAY MORE.” (that last one is about music, not warcraft lol).

but i mean i do worry about it, worry about being “too insular” as some critical piece of shit idiot put it to the point of being unrelatable. I dont want to alienate myself from people of course, nor do i want to get so wrapped up in fantasy that i lose myself. and that’s something i was tearing myself apart about during my episode earlier, just that “I have to get off the internet” because while i think and do all of this stuff, “Me” is just sitting in my bed rotting. Even when im drawing or up at my tables mixing i know it’s still just me, in my house, sealed off from the world, and i started having panic because i was telling myself “i want to go home” over and over but i am at home, i’m in my bed, but i realized of course that home is not in this house. home is many places for me, but it’s also why im SO enthusiastic about wow again: it is home. and believe me im getting wary of just how fucking much i am eating breathing sleeping dreaming (literally dreaming) warcraft because while i dont know if i was ever “addicted” i, again, dont want to be so swept up that i forget im a person (and with dpdr that shit is way potent). that and uhh i got shit to do, but mostly... it’s not real. and i know im setting myself up for failure and heartbreak again by yearning for something that cannot exist no matter how much i set my mind and hands to create it.

i feel hurt physically by the fact that there are “only humans”. i mean there are infinite different kinds of humans, but it’s more of an existential quandary than a yearning for an orc boyfriend or something. it’s why we dream up fantastic creatures and aliens in the first place: we’re not alone in the universe, are we? are humans really the only sentient beings out there? we can’t be. we can’t be. “they” say either option—that we are, or are not alone—is equally terrifying but i dont think so. sure we might fear violence or eradication from not being alone, but to know that we are? out of everything we’ve charted and studied, that we’re it? that’s... that’s death. and of course there’s going to be heat death or whatever they say in 6 billion whatever i dont know, so whether we’re alone or not is irrelevant because it will destroy our universe and what happens when there is no universe? and so of course all of this was compounding into panic, of course, of course, jumping from a dumbass thought like “i guess im not as into overwatch because it’s sci-fi but also theyre all humans” straight into “INEVITABLE HEAT DEATH”. so like, really, does it matter that i care about wow lore more than i care about marriage?

i mean, i guess i should have a career, but i dont really know what i could be capable of doing. i dont know if it’s mental illness or discipline or what but even if like metzen himself was like “come work at blizzard!” i would still probably just collapse into a heap of worthlessness and fear. 

i dont know what i fear. i guess i fear that im wasting my time, and by spending my time in another world i dont have to worry about how im spending time in this one. and that’s really, really bad. i dont like that.

i have to make this world worth living in. i have been trying. but i havent gotten very far. in fact, i took some steps backward.

from the edge of the cliff, so... i guess that’s forward in some ways.

[viralhottopics]

How I Paid Off $31,000 Of Student Debt In Only Two Years

I carried over $31,000 in loan repayment after undergrad. Paying it off took two years, but it was barely dented for the first six months. This was when I realized I had to make some drastic adjustments to ever whittle it down. The rate was not very impressive or efficient, but it helped me differentiate between necessities and luxuries.

Life before and after loans has been pretty stark in contrast. You no longer feel guilty for traveling across the world. You can choose to engage in grown-up sounding pursuits like investing in mutual funds, ETFs, & individual stocks! Saving for a house now just became a reality! You could buy all the fair-trade coffee to your little hearts extent.

I had to get creativemany of these ideas may not be applicable to you or painfully obvious! Regardless, theyre simple in theory, yet oftentimes overlooked in practice. My first job out of college involved contractual quality assurance work for a large tech company in Cupertino. I could have chosen a position in a cheaper residential market, as in anywhere outside of the Bay Area. However, Silicon Valley was an environment where I knew I would be challenged to grow. The pay was relatively meager for the industry, so I had to get creative and quite shameless!

1. Live at the cheapest residence you can tolerate

Live at home with parents if feasible. However, for the most of us, thats boring, or not aligned with our goals. I settled down at a room of a house in San Jose, California for a year. The home was owned by a sweet, blissful lady in her 60s. She occasionally made meals for me and rent & utilities came out to only a flat $500/month. Sounds amazing, right? Of course, there was a catchno overnight guests allowed!

2. Purchase food in bulk

Growing up, I had assumed that Costco was economical only for nuclear families. Breaking it down on paper, it may be profitable for unmarried folks too! Share large consumableslike giant bags of ricewith your roommates, if feasible.

3. Cook your meals whenever possible

A staple I loved in college and early adulthood were egg & soyrizo tacos. Theyre inexpensive, delicious, stupidly easy to cook, and surprisingly healthy! Find your staple. (I make other things too, sometimes..)

Example:

Ultimate Soyrizo Tacos

Heat oil

Drop soyrizo in skillet, and cook till slightly charred

Scramble up some eggs in the same skillet

Roast up corn tortillas

Huzzah.

Try making something new every week, its extremely therapeutic.

4. Only eat out with friends

Dont feel guilty for eating out with friends & family whenever if the occasion calls for it (celebrations, happy hours, networking, catch-up sessions). Just minimize eating out by yourself. This includes take- out/Munchery/Doordash/UberEats/Caviar, those extra expenses really consume your budget!

5. Avoid consolidation

Loan consolidation combines multiple, disparate loans into one, singular loan usually with a higher interest rate than its smaller counterparts. This may be more convenient in regards to forecasting payoff time and ease of payment. However, most borrowers end up forking more money over in the long-run.

6. Compare & stack up your individual loans

If you have multiple loans, take the annual interest rate for each one and multiply it by the amount owed to get the total yearly interest (TYI). Stack up each TYI with one another and assign your next payment to the loan with the lowest TYI. Repeat your calculations for all additional payments you make.

Example:

Loan A has 6.5% interest with $7,500 outstanding, amounting to $487.50 TYI.

Loan B has 4.5% interest with $9,800 outstanding, amounting to $441.00 TYI.

It makes sense to make a payment toward Loan A first at this time, to reduce accrued interest.

7. Leverage your local public transportation network to get around town, if available.

It may feel like a waste of time because driving around is so much more efficient, but you most likely have a phone! The bus commute is the perfect time to listen to podcasts, read e-books, and rekindle old friendships/connections over messages.

8. Embrace minimalism

This might be regarded as a trending fad amongst yuppies, but with all good reason! Minimalism can be succinctly summed into one mantra: Reflect on what you are considering to purchaseif you dont believe it will contribute to the productivity & overall quality of your life, dont buy it!

9. Leverage loan forgiveness programs

There are many loan-forgiveness programs floating around, albeit each one has a set of requirements you have to meet. One for the government & non-profit sector. Another one for nursing. Heres one for teachers!

10. Automate your budget

No one enjoys passive-aggressive notifications/emails from personal finance apps alerting that they are over-budgeting AGAIN this month. Luckily, Personal Capital has been optimized to focus on praise over guilt-tripping as a motivator. Their dynamic graphs & charts featured in the app have helped me determine which areas Ive been slacking off on maintaining thriftiness.

Credit card interest rates are usually higher than the average student loan: around 14% vs 47% respectively. Calculate the total yearly interest of your credit card debt and stack it up against your student loans.

11. Invest in yourself

How much you make can be a hard limitation on how much you can save for loan repayment. When you find some genuine passions and work towards them, youll naturally end up earning more in the long run. Most people never accomplish this in their lifetime, and I certainly am still on the journey. To try to hone in towards my passions, I consume knowledge. I pick up and read countless books of any topic that I have the slightest bit of interest in. Ive gone back community college to expand my programming knowledge. I leverage online courseware religiously. Learning new things for the sake of personal growth is always a noteworthy investment.

12. Cheaply travel on your vacation

In my opinion, travel (on a budget) is something you should never sacrifice in lieu of saving up to pay for loans. The benefits are immense to the soul and body. The Flight Deal posts travel deals, but they focus more on extreme anomalies.

For example, a buddy and I ventured off to Copenhagen, Amsterdam, Berlin, & London round-trip from Los Angeles for only $600 total. Most cities have hostels that run rooms for only $15/night (including free breakfast)! Im sure theres countless other ways to accelerate paying off your loans. Share your ideas with others struggling to crawl out of debt, and find out what works out for you!

Read more: http://tcat.tc/2j7UQAT

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