#and again not at all what I set out to post
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solitary confinement isn't for anyone. innocent OR guilty. it is a torture method which has no benefit for prisoners or society, increases violent behaviours and reoffending, and most importantly, inflicts lifelong trauma and psychological damage.
luigi mangione is not the only innocent man subjected to torture in prison. you know more about his case than most cases. the crime he is accused of is higher-profile than most cases. this does not mean that people accused of less publicised crimes are either automatically guilty OR treated better.
literally this does not detract from the point of your post as I understood it, which is that Mangione is an innocent man who is being tortured and humiliated without due process. however: 3a. This is possible because the system is set up to torture and humiliate, and because the people doing it have been emboldened by CENTURIES of incarcerating and torturing people without due process. 3b. THE SYSTEM DOES NOT WORK THE WAY YOU IMPLY IT DOES. THE SYSTEM DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE BETWEEN THE INNOCENT AND THE GUILTY, AND IT NEVER FUCKING HAS. 3c. THE REASON THE SYSTEM PERSISTS AND HAS THE POWER TO ACT THIS WAY IS THAT PEOPLE ASSUME THAT ITS TORTURES ARE RESERVED FOR PEOPLE WE CAN ALL AGREE ARE EVIL.
If you think this is me underplaying what Luigi Mangione is going through, then you are grossly misunderstanding me. My point is: this is worse than you are making it sound.
Mangione's case should not be framed as "he is being treated worse than anyone else has been treated". It should be seen for what it is: an extreme example of the violence, injustice, and brutality that is entrenched in the criminal justice system. You pointed this out with the NYPD's history of corruption.
If you view Mangione's case as a uniquely terrible one, you inherently overlook the infrastructure and systems that allow this to happen so readily and so easily, over and over again.
and you also, by the way, suggest that everyone else who has been put in solitary confinement or suffered targeted brutalisation and humiliation was guilty. was a cannibal or a serial killer or a murderer. was a lesser person. that they deserved it.
So to catch you up to speed
Luigi Mangione is an innocent man who has not been confirmed to have been involved in any crime.
We have police documents confirming he was not DNA tested or fingerprinted, and confirmation no usable DNA or fingerprints were recovered at the crime scene due to incomplete prints and immense DNA contamination of New Yorks streets.
No evidence has linked him to the crime.
No facial recognition has even remotely come close to identifying the cctv suspects face as that of Luigi. His own family and friends do not see a resemblance. Most people agree the features in the cctv do not match the very well documented features of Luigi Mangione.
Luigi Mangione has no history of violence nor with firearms. He is a vegan pacifist with no history of mental illness and an aversion to killing even bugs.
He is still only a SUSPECT and all involvement in any crimes are merely ALLEGED at this time. Alleged by the most corrupt police force in the entire nation; the NYPD who do more organized crime than they've ever stopped.
Luigi Mangione's attorneys confirmed they have been shown absolutely nothing that even places Luigi at the scene of the crime.
People have repeatedly tried to recreate the entire timeline of events and found it is not physically possible to do what was alleged in the time frame police gave. Especially dubious for Luigi Mangione to have done given his recent, crippling back injury.
Luigi Mangione in his own words has said police planted evidence on him and are not being honest about his arrest or what he had on him at the time.
There is no body cam footage of Luigi's arrest.
There is no autopsy report for Brian Thompson.
Luigi has so far been:
Stripped of his hat, jacket and shoes and forced to walk in the cold in December wearing wet socks.
Forced to urinate on himself where police then took and published humiliation photos of him.
He was then stripped of his shirt pants and socks and put in a blue psychiatric gown and strapped to a chair inmates called "the torture chair" and left for prolonged periods of time. To the point the entire inmate population at the prison protested in anger.
He was slammed unto a brick wall, choked, and shoved by various police officers for no reason.
Was marched through nyc at gunpoint by officers with military firearms, forced to wear chains
Was called a murderer by the mayor of NYC on national television.
Was then placed in solitary confinement for weeks. Something extremely damaging psychologically to be exposed to for even just a few days. Something usually reserved for cannibals.
He is now being forced to sleep on the floor despite again, a crippling back injury.
Again, he has not even had trial yet. He is an innocent man by the very definition of the law. He has nothing tying him to any crime. And even the crime itself was a nobody being shot in a city where nobodies are shot everyday, seven days a week. And those shooters don't get this treatment. Cannibals don't get this treatment. Serial killers don't get this treatment. Why are they doing this? Because we entered an oligarchy and they want people who are rich to matter more than people who are not. The NO ONE, no name, insignificant person that Brian THOMPSON always was and WILL ALWAYS BE is more important because of his net worth, to the fascist oligarchy we've entered into, than the innocent man, data scientist and robotics engineer with a promising future that is Luigi Mangione.
The NYPD doesn't want him to be innocent. They are torturing him gleefully and postponing his trial because they know he's innocent. They just want to scare the public into understanding that the ultra rich, even those who's names will never be remembered as anything other than markings on a never visited tombstone, are the only persons who matter now. Not yours. Never yours. You're poor. They'll torture you without a trial too. Your life means nothing to them. Your children dying in school shootings means nothing to them. Pinning a crime on an innocent man they can beat to scare the public out of class consciousness is the only thing that matters to them now. Depose them.
#like i am not trying to start a fight here but holy fuck dude#this is not “deliberately missing the point” i AGREE with your point i SAID I AGREE WITH YOUR POINT?#(so if nothing else if i am missing a point i do guarantee it's not deliberate)#i am trying to point out to you that TREATING THIS AS AN ISOLATED INCIDENT IS DEEPLY UNHELPFUL#i AGREE that mangione is being targeted and made an example of without due process#and that people should be angry and outraged by it#but you can express everything you expressed in the op without throwing every other victim of carceral violence under the bus!#also if you come at it with the idea that the torture he has been subjected to is unusual in nature (i think it may be unusual in degree)#then you are simply wrong. like. you are just factually incorrect.#and that MATTERS. it MATTERS that he is neither the first nor only person facing injustices of this kind.#acceptance that this is an aberration against a functional justice system is WHAT ALLOWS THAT INJUSTICE TO THRIVE#this is not an aberration! this is a system that thrives ON THE IDEA THAT IT USUALLY ACTS ON PEOPLE WHO DESERVE IT.#...fuck i didn't expect to get this mad today. oops.
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☆ sorry for disappearing…
when i decided to put my blog on private, it was the only solution i could think of to end my dilemma. a dilemma that sprung from the anxiety i get whenever i log into tumblr, realizing i’m keeping people waiting over an update that hasn’t happened in almost a year. i wish there was a better way to describe how i felt, but there’s just so much pressure and anxiety that accompany a writer who has an on-going series of a popular jjk character.
if you’ve been with me since 2021, you probably know the struggles i faced before i ultimately left my blog archived. back then, i never imagined i would return to running this blog. but it was my love for writing that brought me back, hoping i could start fresh as long as i knew how to set boundaries between myself and the people consuming my fics. and i could say, all was going well, until…
until i get daily messages about how it’s taking me so long to update a certain series, how i’m writing too much for another fandom, how i’m never fulfilling my promises of posting an update. it must be the trauma, but the unease of existing on tumblr began to build up inside me, reminding me of the days when i was made to feel like i did something wrong for simply posting. with that, i had grown paranoid, thinking that every time i check my notes, there would always be one or two person sending me the most ridiculous messages/comments.
i never realized just how much my experience in 2021 scarred me ‘til this day.
and the only remedy i could think of was to escape. or hide. or be unseen. for my peace of mind, for the silence. all while thinking no one’s really going to notice.
but logging in again made me realize that there are people i’ve disappointed for my sudden disappearance, people who wished me nothing but good things, people who genuinely supported me in and out of this blog, people who appreciate my works even if i’m no longer as active. to those people, i want to say i’m sorry, and that i assure you that i’m doing better.
however, i also hope that i’m not just seen as the writer who only wrote sincerely not. i hope that i’m given the same amount of support and liberty to write for characters and stories that i’m equally passionate about. wherever my hyper-fixations take me, i hope i’m not treated as if i’ve abandoned what my blog was known for. i never wanted to feel caged by writing only sn/sy. i need the space to explore other characters, other genres, before i lose myself in the pressure of just producing.
if you’re still here, thank you. i can’t promise to be fully back, but i’ll take it one step at a time.
love, saint.
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SSR Cater Diamond - Room Relaxation Voice Lines
#MyLoungewear #BirthdayEve #CheckOutMyHairband ...Posted!
Summon: 'Kay then, tomorrow's ol' Cay-kun's birthday... I gotta get hyped to receive all those well wishes!
Groovification: The birthday video came out great... No doubt about it, this'll definitely go viral ♪
Home: This is Cay-kun's favorite ♪
Swap Looks: Yaaaaawn... Guess I'll go wash my face.
Home Transition 1: I'm usually just on my phone whenever I'm in my room~ ...Huh, studying? Don't pick on me by asking that~
Home Transition 2: Azul-kun treated me to a real fancy-looking drink ♪ He said my promoting it on Magicam would be payment enough.
Home Transition 3: A limited cosmetics set, huh~ Even the package itself is super duper cute! Maybe I'll buy it as a birthday gift to myself.
Home Transition - Login: The number of likes and comments I get on my Magicam posts on my birthday is through the roof! It makes me happy, sure, but it's a little difficult to reply to them all~
Home Transition - Groovy: Never thought I'd ever have Leona-kun wishing me a happy birthday... Wish I woulda snagged a video of it happening.
Home Tap 1: Don'tcha think this loungewear is soft and adorable? Both the top and bottoms are part of the same outfit series.
Home Tap 2: All I did was change up my eyeliner a little bit, but Rook-kun picked up on it right away... He's kinda scarily observant.
Home Tap 3: My hair's looks all silky smooth? Right? Isn't it? I tried out this hair milk that I came across on Magicam.
Home Tap 4: I'm totally used to Lilia-chan's surprises... Is what I'd like to say, but he definitely got me again this year.
Home Tap 5: It's rare to see ya boy Cay-kun without a suit drawn on, isn't it? Wanna take a pic together to remember this moment by?
Home Tap - Groovy: My loungewear? Well, yeah, I have a ton of other sets. Maybe I should wear a more cool-looking outfit tomorrow ♪
Duo: [CATER]: Leona-kun, gimmie your most heartfelt well wishes~ [LEONA]: I'll just do it normally, Cater.
Birthday Login Message: Thanks for the birthday wishes! I got a thing with the Pop Music Club after this, but you wanna come with me, [Yuu]? I mean, it's not really like we're going to be doing anything special. We'll probably just be snacking and chatting, like usual. Ah, I just had a good idea. One sec, let me reach out to Lilia-chan and Kalim-kun. ...Niice~ Looks like they're both on board. "'Kay, then we'll go with the plan I just sent you guys" ...And send. So basically, we're gonna throw an impromptu Cay-kun Birthday Performance. Come and enjoy the celebration!
Requested by @farfalla049.
#twisted wonderland#twst#cater diamond#leona kingscholar#twst cater#twst leona#twst translation#twst birthday#mention: azul#mention: rook#mention: lilia#mention: kalim
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★ kento presses his palm into the mattress, his breaths coming out in harsh puffs of hot air against your forehead while his free hand squeezes your thigh. hes pushing his weepy tip against your entrance, trying to get you to relax for him while you're whining and denying that it will ever fit.
of course, its fit plenty of times before. you do this every damn time.
"kento, i swear 's gonna split me open this time," you whimper out, trying to squirm away from him. his tip just barely slides inside you, and its enough to make you gasp and fall quiet besides soft mewls and the heaving of your chest. "c'mon, my love, you've done it before, you can take it." he grits out, his nose brushing your pulse point while his hips thrust sloooowly forward. "stretch f'me. there you go." he murmurs, while his cock is stretching your pussy out so good. he feels like hes seeing god, his blushed tip nudging at your guts like hes gonna permanently mold you to the shape of him and ruin you for anyone else.
he'll never say that, though.
his hips shift forward again, and he pushes your legs apart, giving you a soft kiss and trying not to let his composure slip when he finally pushes his hips flush against yours.
"aww, look, see? you took me all the way." he breathes against your ear, kissing down your jaw and smoothing your hair back with his hand. hes always trying to keep his composure, even when he's this damn close to stuffing you full of his cum and babbling about how loud your pussy is when he's fucking you.
no, kento. that would be too harsh, wouldn't it?
"good job, my dear, you're doing so good. there you go, see, i told you she could take me. she always does, hm?" kento speaks softly into your ear, his fingers kneading at your hips while he sets up a steadier rhythm. "will you look at me, please?" he kisses along your collarbone while he speaks, gently sucking, not hard enough to leave a mark on your pretty skin. he doesn't like bruising you. kento presses his lips and tongue against a particularly sensitive spot on your neck, his hips a little rougher than usual with their steady rhythm. "open your eyes. please, i want to see your pretty eyes, beautiful." he whispers into your perspiring skin, and his hips snap up against yours, making you mewl out and claw at his arms. he pulls back from your neck and gently takes your face in his hand, voice husky and ragged. "look at me. go on, my love." and you cant deny him again, hesitantly opening bleary, glossed over eyes. and oh, what a sight your husband is, his eyes lidded and cheeks flushed, lips parted in ragged breathing and his hair sticking to his forehead in messy strands while he stares down at you. his cock practically gushes precum inside you when you look up at him with a fucked out expression, and he cant help but pull you into a sloppy, sticky kiss while jostling your thighs around his hips. his dick slides just a little deeper inside you at the new angle, kissing your g-spot with every thrust while hes swallowing all of your moans with his tongue against yours. kento can feel you squirming under him, twitching and letting out soft moans with every kiss of his tip to your cervix. he physically has to delay his own orgasm just long enough until he knows you've finished, until he cant pull a single more moan or drop of arousal out of you before hes cumming and stuffing you full.
kento reluctantly pulls away from your neck, lips pressing to yours in a clumsy, delirious kiss while he gives one more buck of his hips just to enjoy the way you squirm while his load oozes out of you. "see, my dear...? my beautiful wife always makes it fit for me. I told you it would."
thank you for reading !! this is my first post in a while ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ please reblog to help my stuff reach more people <3 tags :: @beanietopia @valicalliali @gojoscinnamonroll @xixflower @takumasimp @webism @voidnz
#nanami smut#jjk nanami#nanami x reader#jjk x reader smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk smut#jjk men#jujutsu kaisen x reader#kento nanami#nanami kento#jujutsu nanami#jujustu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen nanami#.fic.#.mimi's writing ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚.
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hear me out — nam-gyu is actually soooo icky. i don’t care what anyone tells me. he’s a icky icky man. he’s so fucking mean too. he thinks of women as possessions (he’s sooo misogynistic. you can’t convince me otherwise) like what do you mean women are their own person and can control their own lives?! no…. they are possessions!
additionally, he is sooo convincing with his words — he can get anyone to trust him quite easily (especially if they’re naive) and he’s taking full advantage of that.
honestly nam-gyu probably has anyone naive trying things they were always against. he has such a way with words when it comes to getting anyone to open up or doing what he wants them to do. he'll give them everything they need to get them to say yes even if it means making promises he doesn't even plan to keep or fulfill.
also, no one can convince me otherwise that this man doesn’t have a thing for trad wives. he definitely likes the idea of codependency and the fact that someone clings to him like a second skin (but let’s be honest, he definitely doesn’t make it out to seem like he likes it — it’s always constant degradation from him: “stupid bitch, can’t ever do anything for yourself, huh? i have to do everything for you”). also likes the idea of baby trapping, because you can’t leave him ♡ but 100% does not like kids.
i also can see him fetishizes the FUCK out of lesbians (once again… this man is ICKY) and i definitely feel like if he was the type to get into a relationship with someone who is bisexual (or closeted lesbian. specifically if he coerces them) he would exploit the shit out of it. bro definitely has a premium subscription to ph. constantly doom scrolling to find something he hasn’t watched yet (specifically lesbians or threesomes (two girls, one guy) it’s definitely one of his biggest fantasies. he is soo gross ♡)
he would probably likes giving some naive, lightweight (never done drugs before) drugs that he knows they wouldn’t be able to handle just so he they can take advantage.
I AM GOING INSANEEEE. i am clawing and gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.
warnings: 18+, DARK content, dubcon, baby trapping
bro i am so sorry i haven't let this out to the public sooner, this is so good and factual fr 💔 like this guy is an misogynistic incel honestly, idfc what anyone else says, u literally can see it in the show how he treats se-mi. he's a meanie.
THE PH SUBSCRIPTION IS SO REAL. also, forces or not, makes u watch porn with him, the disgusting ones like heavy bondage/bdsm, prolly whilst sticking a wand vibrator on ur clit in a setting that's intense BUT wont make u cum so its pure torture..
guys has anyone done se-mi x reader x nam-gyu ? like hello? hello????? ITS RIGHT THERE prolly would watch u & se-mi whilst he's cucking himself. or he's right in the middle of the action, both ur pussies rubbing on his dick.
also, i love nam-gyu corruption kink, to someone whos absolutely clean, pure, law abiding citizen, prolly doesnt even know half of the kinks or stuff u see in pornhub, BUT THAT'S WHY NAM-GYU EXISTS!! to teach you allat, to corrupt u :^
i just dont feel like hes a good person at all, in smut mindset, and in fr the character, hes those toxic bfs who's only "strong" cuz u're just a lil bit weaker than him. and if u try to leave, nuh-uh, u can't, u wanted a child to begin with right?
"fuck you mean, 'i'm leaving you'? bitch please," he scolds, pumping another load inside- straight to your womb, "you wanna be a single mom?" you shake your head immediately, you were on birth control.. but maybe not... oh no! "then don't bullshit me with saying you're 'leaving me'... you know you love me." let's just hope he'll be a good dad... ( ◜‿◝ )♡
if anyone needs a fluffy lovey namgyu smut this aint the place.. jk, i would prolly post one too heheh <3 also, now i wanna make a full on incel!nam-gyu x reader smut mannn
#squid game 2#squid game#nam-gyu#player 124#squid game x reader#squid game season 2#squid game smut#nam gyu#namgyu#nam-gyu smut#nam-gyu x reader#nam gyu x reader#nam gyu smut
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to not know who i am, but still know that i'm good long as you're here with me - jack hughes
pairing: jack hughes x original female character
warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, nothing much else i can think of!
inspired by + title: i like me better by lauv
word count: 6.4k
author's note: hello everyone!! i feel like i've been in such a rut lately but i'm glad i managed to write this one out! this is for the lovely @wyattjohnston for her winter fic exchange 2k25. demi, thank you as always for your hard work in putting this together and i hope you enjoy. sorry that it's a few days late! to everyone, please let me know what you think!!
*****
When Maia Flaherty left her usual lunchtime coffee run with a number from one very Jack Hughes, she didn’t really quite know what to think.
“No pressure,” he had said with an easy smile. “I just think you’re pretty and the glare you gave that couple that was making out at the table next to you sold it for me.”
As she stares out on her train ride home, she’s deep in thought. This might be just a one date thing and then they find out they have nothing in common and they move on. But she knows herself. She doesn’t fall fast, but when she falls, she falls hard. What if she ends up falling harder than him, setting herself up for heartbreak. But she knows that’s also unfair to him, especially because she doesn’t know him. She appreciates his boldness in asking her out, but she doesn’t understand how he can be so confident and sure that he wants to go on a date with her. To be fair, maybe he’s only looking for something casual, to which she has even less of an idea of how to handle it, because she has never done casual and doesn’t think she could do it.
As she’s walking the streets back to her place in West Village, she thinks about how to approach this. Knowing her, she’s too curious to not text him and she probably will think on it over the weekend. But, should she protect herself and go into this as just meeting a friend or go into this romantically? She admits that he is cute and she was the slightest bit charmed by him, but she knows that she knows nothing else about him. She takes the time to look up some of his highlights of his career (he had dropped his Instagram handle to her “just so you know I’m a real person”) and she knows that he’s good. Almost annoyingly good. As a University of Minnesota alum, she’s familiar enough with hockey as a whole. She stalks his Instagram and doesn’t find anything much besides posts with family, friends and teammates. Pretty average. But she’s still weary.
Monday morning rolls around, and on her train to work, she takes a deep breath, clicking on his contact and copy and pasting what she had written last night.
hi!!! it’s maia from the cafe. if the offer still stands, i’d love to go out on that date
Not even a minute later, and she gets a response.
what a wonderful text to get on a Monday morning
the offer absolutely still stands. what’s your schedule looking like this week?
not around during regular people work hours so monday-friday 9-5 won’t work
my weekend is pretty empty atm but idk if that works for you? i’m assuming you have games this week
no games this weekend, for once. all weeknight games.
lucky timing
lucky indeed. you around Saturday for lunch?
works for me!
you’re in jersey right? i can come out to you if that’s easier
are you kidding me?
i’m not gonna make you come out to me, especially because I’m the one who asked you out
where are you in the city? I’ll come to you
She smiles to herself.
I’m in west village, but i can meet you anywhere
i’ll do some research after practice and get back to you?
sure
i also can suggest some places as well!!
appreciate it. i got it though. i’m the one who asked so I feel like it’d be unfair to ask you to plan
Huh, she thinks, being surprised again. She doesn’t have much to compare to, but she can’t remember a single date she’s been on where she hasn’t been the one planning.
okay lmk if you need my help! no rush we have a whole week
(Jack has a break in a morning practice and he’s just staring at his phone with the biggest smile on his face. His teammates are all making fun of him, but he pays them no mind. It’s not new for them to poke fun at him for texting girls, but he knows, he just knows that this one is different.
He also kinda likes the idea of “we.”)
kinda wish we didn’t
oh?
saturday is so far away
you’ll survive
She gets into the office just then and her phone is forgotten as she’s thrown into spreadsheets and meetings. It isn’t until 4 p.m. where she has the mental energy and time to look at his responses. The last text he had sent was two hours ago.
i found a place. well, a couple
i asked some of my friends who know the city better than I do
*screenshot of list in Notes app*
i tried to find places in different parts of Manhattan, mostly in West Village. i don’t know where exactly in that area you are and how easy or hard it is for you to get wherever
sorry, just realized I’m spamming you and you’re probably working
I’m so sorry i left you hanging work was literally insane until now
honestly all of these places sound wonderful
i’ve been to a couple of them before so tell your friends they have good taste
any one in particular you like?
you choose
since you’re planning it after all
lol
i really don’t want you having to travel that far
i literally live in nyc so if I want to see any of my friends who don’t live by me I have to travel far
and you’re literally coming from jersey
i’ll be fine with any choice you make
seriously
He chooses one of her favorite Greek food joints about 10 blocks from where she is and she tries to put it away in her mind. She still has this whole week to go. She’s known for years that she gets overwhelmed and stressed if she thinks ahead occasionally, and this is definitely one of those times.
(There’s a game on Wednesday night, and her best friend and roommate Carrie urges her to put it on TV in the background while they’re eating dinner. Carrie knows next to nothing about hockey, so Maia tries to explain it to her. But most of the time, she’s quiet and her eyes are zeroed in on 86. Or trying to, because everyone skates so fucking fast. He scores a goal and assists another, and she knows that that’s literally his job, but she can’t help but feel something watching him skate around so confidently.
She’s always respected the skill it takes to play hockey. Skating is hard. But the hockey attitude wasn’t always something that she loved. She understands that she’s projecting a lot of unwarranted judgement. But she doesn't think it’s all based on lies.
As the minutes wind down in the game, she zones out. She really doesn’t understand how or why this literal superstar of the sport just approached her and after knowing literally nothing about her, asked her out. This shit doesn’t happen to her. She also knows the usual crowd that hockey players go for. She’s not blonde. She’s not a model. She’s not anything like that.
What does he want from her?)
*****
She wakes up Saturday morning a bit groggy, thanks to the glasses of wine her and Carrie had the night before. She goes through her morning routine, but decides to forgo the coffee and make a smoothie instead. She usually likes to sip on her coffee for hours rather than down it all in one go. And she knows if she downs it, she’ll start shaking.
She doesn’t need to be shaking today.
Carrie stumbles out when Maia just leaves the bathroom and offers to make a smoothie for her. With a yawn, Carrie nods as she slides past her to go into the bathroom.
It’s 9:48 a.m. They’re meeting right at noon, so she has a bit of time. Her phone buzzes right after she finishes cleaning the blender.
good morning! see you soon
She just sends back a couple of emojis, before scrolling around on her social media accounts, sipping on her smoothie. It’s just the waiting now that’s making her more nervous.
She already knows what she’s gonna wear. An olive green sweater she bought recently that she’s been loving, black leggings, brown booties and earrings that she got years ago when she studied abroad. She’s leaving her hair down and putting some light makeup on. Nothing crazy. This is literally lunch. And she’s not gonna overthink for a boy.
Carrie proves to be a good distraction, simultaneously hyping her up, assuring her and talking about other things to keep her head level. She walks to the subway station and goes on the train, airpods in. This is all routine. The way there is no stranger to her, often meeting up with her brother for dinner around the area.
She checks the time. On time.
She approaches the restaurant’s front at 11:57 and decides to walk in and grab a table. She stops in her tracks when she sees that he’s already there, in the corner by the window that she usually loves to sit at. He’s wearing a gray sweater and blue jeans, a baseball cap flipped backwards on his head. She waves off the hostess and heads in his direction.
He looks up from his phone and immediately locks it, standing up. She smiles in greeting and he comes around to grab her bag as she shrugs off her jacket. She thanks him softly, to which he just smiles back at. As she’s sitting down, he pours out some water.
“You didn’t get lost getting here?” She jokes.
He rolls his eyes. “I’m not that directionally challenged. Just not used to it.”
“That’s what you get for living in Jersey.”
“Oh. So that’s how we’re gonna play this?”
And that just sets the tone for the rest of the date. It’s…surprisingly easy. The follow up question immediately is if she’s from the city, to which she snorts and says “absolutely not,” but she’s been living here for over two years now. She grew up in Buffalo, she says, and went to college at University of Minnesota, to which he, of course, widens his eyes. “You went to Minnesota, and you’re not a hockey fan?” She rolls her eyes. “When did I say I’m not a hockey fan?” She talks about how yes, she went to a couple of games when she was there and they were always fun, but she wasn’t necessarily an avid fan.
He talks about growing up in Toronto even though he was born in Orlando and then going to Michigan and how hockey was literally just his life from a young age, especially with parents who were also involved, as well as an older and a younger brother growing up to play too. Sure, she knows all of this (she couldn’t help herself and did enough research), but it is nice and different to hear from him directly. She does slip for a second and makes fun of his private school upbringing (“It tracks.”) but the shocked delight on his face lets her know that he doesn’t take offense.
As they order the food and it comes and they start eating, she lets herself be charmed. She didn’t expect him to be so…normal. Normal in the way that she often forgot that he was one of the best hockey players in the country. Normal in the way that parts of him remind her of her closest guy friends. But then he would mention something about his career or just a random detail in his life that would make her remember.
She notices that he also is very aware of how much he talks. It’s natural for her to ask more questions, because that’s just how she’s wired, but he turns questions back to her that excite her or make her laugh, and then she goes on a minor tangent. It’s very back and forth. Balanced.
She’s having a really good time.
She expected him to be more…straight-forward in terms of flirting, due to how he asked her out, but he’s not. He seems a bit nervous at times even, chuckling adorably and avoiding eye contact, but then he says something that’s so just so incredibly confident that makes her flustered or let out a scoff of disbelief.
Before they know it, they’re done eating. She protests when he immediately grabs the check and pulls out his card, to which he just playfully glares at her for. She does relent and thanks him, and she’ll never forget the boyish smile he gave her.
They’re both on the same page, not wanting their time together to end quite yet, lingering to leave. And then she suggests grabbing a coffee from a place around the corner and walking to a nearby park. She teases him, asking if he’ll get cold to which he scoffs at (“I’m basically a Canadian and I live at the rink. I’ll be fine. Will you?” She laughs. “I was born and raised in Buffalo. Don’t worry about me.”)
They grab coffee (to which she puts her foot down and pays and he lets her), him a black coffee and her an iced chai, and she leads them leisurely to a nearby park. It’s a little chilly, but it’s not windy which is good, and they find an empty bench and sit down, their conversation and battering just coming so incredibly easy. Even to the point where sometimes, she’s not necessarily calling him out, but she’s challenging some of his thoughts. She’s not shattering his confidence at all, but definitely subtly giving him a reality check and just being honest.
And not even purposefully. It’s just how she is.
(He really appreciates it, actually. It’s been awhile since someone who he’s just met isn’t afraid to challenge him off the rink. He loves the attention and always has, and she’s giving that to him, but there’s also something innate in her that’s so grounded and in turns, grounds him.)
But it’s also different. It’s different when he randomly throws out a compliment here and there, saying how he loves her laugh and how cute she is. The way he’s paying attention to everything she’s saying. The way he just can’t help but chuckle almost incredulously because she’s so much more than he imagined, even though he’s the one who asked her out.
Before they know it, it’s almost 4 and they’ve been chatting the whole time. Yet somehow, it still feels like they could keep going. She walks him to the nearest subway station since it’s on her way home. She gives him a farewell hug and he follows his gut and kisses her on the cheek, promising to text her. She smiles one more time before turning to walk back to her apartment.
When she gets back to her place, Carrie’s there and ready for a recap. She says everything she can remember them talking about, which is a lot, while Carrie just listens carefully. Throughout it, she’s trying to downplay it, probably for self-preservation purposes, looking back. Carrie lets her dwell on it occasionally, but also interrupts when needed to try to assure her friend that she’s a catch and there’s a reason he asked her out in the first place and she can’t play herself down like that.
What she knows for a fact at this point is that she likes spending time with him, and she does have romantic feelings for him. Everything else? She has no idea. She has no idea if they’d pair together well. She has no idea what he wants from this. She has no idea how he actually feels about her, because he could’ve just thrown out those compliments because he’s naturally flirty. It wouldn’t surprise her. And god, she can’t help but let her mind wander into his career and being in the spotlight and how that just affects…everything.
She just doesn’t know.
(Meanwhile, he returns to an empty place, Luke out with some friends for the night. He can’t stop smiling, replaying the whole day in his head. She’s just so much more than he expected, able to keep up with his quips, often beating them. She laughs and smiles so freely. She’s so damn smart. She’s beautiful.
He’s had his fair share of hookups and casual things, but this? This is different. It’s scary, he thinks, that he’s this invested after one date. It’s unfamiliar territory, and there’s so much more he wants to know about her.
He needs to know everything he can about her. Before she figures out that she’s way too good for him.)
*****
Four weeks pass, and they haven’t seen each other. There have been some sporadic texts here and there, but with the chaos of both their jobs and then Thanksgiving, it hasn’t accounted to more than that.
(She’s trying to get over it and let it pass. He wants anything but that)
On an early December evening, Maia’s just finished cleaning up the dishes when she gets a call. When she sees his name, she blinks. She clicks accept.
“Hello?”
“Hi. It’s Jack.”
She can’t help but chuckle a bit. “Yeah, I know. What’s up?”
“How are you? How was your Thanksgiving?”
“I’m doing okay. Thanksgiving was good! I got to go back home for a few days. How about you? Did you even have a break?”
“Not really. I had some family come to watch some games though, so that was nice.”
“I’m sure it was,” she hums.
“Listen-I…I know it’s been awhile.”
“Almost a month.”
“Yeah,” he breathes out guiltily. “I-I’m really sorry about that. I’ve…the season’s just been so crazy and, yeah. I’ve been meaning to reach out sooner, but just, like. Yeah. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine,” she replies automatically. “I get it. Your schedule is crazy. I feel like you have a game every other day.”
“You’ve been keeping up?” He teases lightly.
She rolls her eyes. “A bit more than I used to, sure. But that really doesn’t mean anything.”
He laughs a bit, before settling down into a serious tone. “If you have time, or if you even want to, because I totally understand why you wouldn’t, I’d love to go out again. I just, I had a really good time with you last time. Again, I know I…if you say no, I get it.”
It’s silent for a couple of seconds, but she knows her answer. “I’d love to.”
“Really?”
“Really,” she smiles to herself at his surprised tone. “You surprised?”
“A bit. I mean, I kinda fell off the face of the planet. I would understand if you didn’t want to see me again.”
“Jack.”
“Yeah?”
“When are you free?”
He sighs. “This week? Not much, unfortunately. I’m only around for dinner tomorrow and Friday, and then I’m gone for a few days on a stretch of away games.”
“Wanna do tomorrow?”
“You around?”
She snorts. “I’m not as busy as you are, Mr. NHL. I’m free most weeknights.”
He lets out a low laugh. “Okay, yeah. Tomorrow night’s perfect. I’ll actually be in the city in the afternoon to meet up with a friend so I’ll just stay and meet you around there.”
“Oh good. I don’t have to pretend I want to go to Jersey.”
“This again?”
She laughs. “I can choose this time. Do you know where you’re meeting your friend?
“Yeah. I have his address. Hang on, I’ll send it to you.” Seconds later, her phone buzzes and she briefly looks at the location on Google Maps.
“Oh. Battery Park. That’s close to where I am. You must really like this friend if you’re willing to travel that far. It’s a pretty long way from Newark.”
“Right? That’s what I told him. So, tomorrow night, yeah?”
“Yeah. I can figure out a place and I’ll let you know tomorrow morning the latest if that works? What kind of food do you like?”
“Anything you like.”
“Jack.”
“I mean it.”
“Okay, okay. How does ramen sound?”
“Perfect. I gotta go, but I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? I’ll text you,”
“See you tomorrow.”
“Can’t wait.”
Tomorrow comes, this time at a lowkey but busy ramen place where they’re sat side by side and their knees are touching. Jack’s hair is out this time, and the waves are falling across his forehead and she just loves the way it looks. He notices the two rings she’s wearing as one quickly catches a light in the restaurant. They continue on from the last time they talked but this time, swimming the surface of deeper conversations.
She talks about her constant doubts about her job and how she sometimes just wants to pick up and movs somewhere else and start new. He talks about how he knows he’s good at hockey and knows this is the only path for him, but how he recognizes that outsiders look and sometimes see a sell-out or someone who doesn’t work hard. But he’s learned to just put his head down and play and to do it well. That’s something she can also relate to.
She talks about how her relationship with her older brother is one that she’s found to be very grateful for, especially because they’re so far apart in age. A lot of who she is is based on his personality. He talks about being the middle child and being close in age to his brothers, and how competition was always just built into every activity they did. He’s realized, especially as he’s gotten older, how much he appreciates his brothers and having all three of them being in the same league, with Luke on the same team, and going through similar experiences but also completely different trajectories.
(Somewhere, they both take a few sake shots and Maia’s not quite drunk, but buzzing, her laughter more free and her face redder).
Even semi-intoxicated, she decides not to ask the questions she really wants to yet that focus around them and what they are, unclear of where they stand. They’re sitting so close to each other and she relishes in it, wanting more. When she runs a hand through her hair to push it back, she notices his eyes flickering at that action, which means…nothing. She has to break away eye contact sometimes because he’s just staring at her so intensely.
No wonder he has girls wanting him left and right, she thinks. She’s kind of no better.
Towards the end of the night (he paid again and she only let him after he said he would let her pay next time. Next time), they plan out vaguely when they’ll see each other next. He’s away for the next week or so, and she just shrugs. She gets it. It would be naive of her to think she can change it. “I’ll let you know the second I land,” he says, and she just nods. She then jokes that maybe their next date could be skating, and he rolls his eyes, though he takes it into consideration. When he asks if she’s serious, she snorts, “I mean, sure. But you’re not gonna have to teach me how, if that’s what you’re going for.” He laughs. Loudly.
When they part ways, he hugs her tightly and for a long time. She breathes him in subtly, her eyes fluttering shut when she feels him press a lingering kiss on her forehead.
Maybe that’s when she should’ve asked. Because that act was way too intimate to feel friendly. But she didn’t, and she watched him walk away, chuckling as he turned around to shoot her a parting wink.
She went to sleep that night, somehow, with so many thoughts circling around her mind)
*****
Maia has an idea of when he’s landing, so she’s not surprised when she gets a call on a Thursday night.
He seems a bit out of breath, and she asks him if everything’s okay. Everything’s fine, he says. He just landed back in Newark and is heading home. He cuts to the chase, and asks if she’s around the next night. She blinks, because she knows he has a game. He clarifies. Is she around after the game? (“Or for the game,” he adds quickly. “If you want to come, I can get you tickets.”) While she’s flattered, she knows that’s crossing a line at this point and she politely turns down his offer. But yeah, she says. I’m around after. What’s up? He asks if he can take her out on a date. And she knows her answer (it’s obviously yes) but she says only if she’s allowed to go to him in Jersey. He protests immediately, but she shuts him up (“Both of our dates have been way closer to where I am. It’s only fair, Maia.”)
It’s gonna be a late night date, since the game (assuming no overtime) won’t end until at least 10:00. He’s not sure what he has in store, but she’s okay with not knowing. The only thing he assures her of is that he’ll drive her back into the city afterwards. Traffic should be light, so she doesn’t fight him.
(That should’ve been another hint that this was something worth pursuing. She has a hard time letting go of control of plans, especially with people she hasn’t known for awhile.
She trusts him already)
When he hangs up, she thinks for a second. He had told her during their last date that he would let her know the second he landed.
And he did.
Huh.
*****
The next night, she’s nervous.
Dinner’s already been eaten. She caught the first period of his game, but had to leave to catch her trains to meet him. With encouraging words from Carrie paired with some hype up music, she’s on her way.
When she steps out of the station on this abnormally warm December night, she immediately sees him leaning against his car. His hair is damp from the shower he probably just took, and he’s sporting a peacoat over a sweater and blue jeans.
He perks up when he sees her and she practically skips over to him. She smiles and pulls him into a hug, and she feels him press a light kiss in her hair.
“Hey.” She says softly.
“Hi,” he mutters in her hair, pulling away to lean down and place a kiss on her cheek. “It’s good to see you.” He opens the door for her as she slides in, and she’s thankful that she followed her instincts and dressed comfortably in her beloved Minnesota sweatshirt, stifling a yawn as she thanked him. She puts on her seatbelt and leans back, watching him climb in.
He turns to her, “Wanna aux?”
“Are you sure?” She asks, already fiddling around to connect her Apple carplay.
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” He chuckles, looking behind him to pull onto the road.
She shrugs. “What kind of music do you want?”
“Whatever you want.”
She snorts. “You don’t mean that.” She scrolls through her playlists and debates on which one to do. “I saw that you guys lost. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” he replies automatically and she catches his eye and gives him a look of doubt. He corrects himself. “Okay, it’s frustrating, but none of that right now. I wanna hear about you. How’s your week been? Did that thing with your boss get resolved?”
She blinks. Right. She had mentioned that briefly when he called her earlier in the week. “Kinda.”
“Kinda?”
“Yeah,” she sighs. “I don’t know. You gotta learn which battles to fight, you know? This one is one I don’t have to win.”
He nods with a soft hum, stopping at a red light. “Do you like milkshakes?”
She chuckles a bit at the change of topic. “I don’t mind them.”
“Wanna get some right now?”
“Would it matter if I said no?”
“No,” he admits. “Because I want one.”
“That can’t be on the diet plan you athletes have going on.”
“Oh, it definitely isn’t. Worth it though.”
“Do they have oreo or cookies and cream?”
“Yes.”
“Then yes.” He grins, and she takes a couple seconds just to watch it. “Thanks for coming to get me.”
“Thanks for coming out to Jersey at 10 pm.”
She chuckles. His heart drops to his stomach. “I had nothing else to do on a Friday night.”
He snorts. “Yeah, okay. I don’t believe that.”
“Really?”
He shrugs.
She leans back into her seat. “I don’t have the energy to hang out with people every night. Respect to the people who do. That’s just never been me. I can sit for hours and not talk to anyone.”
“You’re an introvert, then.”
“Is that surprising?”
He takes a second to think about it. “Yes, one, because you always talk about your friends so I know you have a lot. And two, because we literally talked for four hours on our first date.”
She shrugs, looking straight ahead of her to get the courage to respond. “There’s very few people in my life who I can talk with for hours.”
“I’ll consider myself lucky, then.”
She looks back over to him, watching as he shoots her a quick smile before he focuses back on the road. “How’s your week been?”
“The usual. Practices and games and travelling in the west coast, so I’m a little jetlagged, which isn’t great.”
“I didn’t realize that you guys play games like, every other day. Which is dumb, because like, it makes sense, but that just sounds exhausting. What am I saying though? It’s literally your job.”
He laughs softly and she tries to ignore the warmth spreading across her skin. “It can be tiring, for sure. But yeah, I love it, you know? Wouldn’t want to be doing anything else.”
“I know exactly what you mean.” Just then, they pull into this small, unassuming diner and roll right through the drive-thru. He orders a chocolate milkshake and she gets an oreo one, and before he can think about it, she forces her credit card in his hand. He laughs and relents, and they pull out and are back on the road quickly. She sips on her milkshake and smiles to herself, not even asking where he’s driving them to next.
(She thinks they could be anywhere and she’d still want to keep talking to him forever. He thinks that practically every worry in his life could fade away if he could look at her smile for the rest of his life)
He rolls up to one of his favorite views in Jersey of midtown Manhattan, finding an alcove and backing his car into it. Hamilton Park. They both get out and all she can do is stand there and admire the stunning view, milkshake in hand. She’s literally breathless. The last time she remembers feeling like this is when she saw the Pantheon for the first time nearing midnight with her brother when they were in Rome in 2022. She doesn’t notice him unlocking the trunk and setting up the backseat with blankets and pillows until he softly calls her name.
(When her eyes met his, the glow of Manhattan in her eyes, he swears to this day that his heart skipped a beat. He was hers already then)
They settle into the makeshift couch, not quite touching but really freaking close.
“It’s beautiful,” she says softly, just looking at the view.
He hums, his eyes flickering between the view he knows too well and the girl who makes him feel better about who he is simply for just being around. It sure is.
She lets herself admire the view silently for a minute or so more, before she can’t take it anymore. “Jack?” She asks, still looking out.
“Yeah?”
“What are we doing?”
“What do you mean?”
Wrong answer, if the unimpressed expression on her face is any indication. She nudges her knee with his. “Come on. You know exactly what I mean. What are we doing? What are we?”
He shrugs, trying to ignore the frogs in his stomach. He should’ve known she was gonna bring it up first. She’s too smart not to. “I-I like you. Wouldn’t have chased after you if I didn’t. You-you’re amazing, you know that? I don’t think you realize how much you can just stay on someone’s mind. I know this is only our third date, but I feel like I’ve known you my whole life and I like who I am when I’m around you.”
She swallows, pausing to sip her milkshake and wiggling into the blankets. He thinks she’s adorable. “I haven’t liked someone in so long. I thought I forgot what it felt like. But then you asked me out and I see a text from you or hear you through my phone or see you on TV, and I’m like oh. I think I remember what it feels like now. It feels like this.”
He has to take a second because oh, maybe her dreams of becoming an author aren’t just words. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She swallows again. “But I, I can’t do casual. I never have. I really, really wish I could
sometimes. So if that’s what you want, I can’t do it.”
“What makes you think I want casual?”
She snorts, “Because you’re a hot and talented hockey player? You can’t blame me for making the assumption.”
“You think I’m hot?”
Maia smacks him in the stomach. Jack laughs. She takes a breath. It’s now or never. “I just, I know you have girls in your DMs and your comments and everywhere else that are prettier and maybe could give you more of what you’re looking for or something that’s not…me.”
“You’re beautiful.”
She lets out a small noise and smiles slightly. “Thanks. But, I-I know that you have so many options. I won’t be hurt if I’m not the one you choose.”
He taps her knee so she’s paying attention and listening to his next words. “I-I’ve done casual before. I don’t think I can do that with you.”
“You can’t? Why not?”
“Well, A, because you don’t want to, which leads to B, I don’t want to. Not with you.” It’s his turn to swallow now as he looks at the skyline. “I really, really like you, Maia.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“All in?”
“All in.”
“You completely sure?” She interlaces her hand in with his and raises his knuckles up to her lips. He’s utterly floored. But he’s nervous. And she can sense it.
“Yes. I just…it’s, I’m not trying to backtrack. I mean, you’ve already seen some of it. Like, during the season, it’s intense. Game every two or three days, practice pretty much everyday, stretches of roadies and being away. I feel like, not that I doubt you or us or anything, but that’s not, I won’t be around as much as I should be. How is that fair to you?”
“Yeah, I mean, yeah. I figured that from the first day. I get it. Well, as much as I can get it. I’m sure it’s gonna be tough. I know it will be.” She squeezes his hand, leaning on his shoulder. “If you’re willing to try, then so am I.”
“You’re too good for me.”
She scoffs, grinning as he places a kiss on her temple. She places her milkshake by her side, summoning up some courage. She adjusts herself so that she’s fully facing him, and he just watches her intensely. With her white BU crewneck, a blanket around her shoulders, hair falling just past her shoulders, and the soft smile on her face, his mind goes quiet. Peaceful.
She kisses him first. Innocently and softly, before pulling back to gauge his reaction.
He responds quickly, cupping her cheek and pressing his lips against hers again. They’re both smiling into the kiss and everything feels calm. He wraps a hand around her waist as she maneuvers her hands around his neck, playing with his hair. She’s so lost in him that she doesn’t really realize that she moves herself so that she hovers over his lap, knees on either side of his hips. He has his hands placed on her lower back.
He lets out a low groan, “Baby.”
Her brain short circuits, both at the nickname (she’s always flinched at it before, but she loves the way he says it) and the timbre of his voice, but she has enough sense to pull away. They’re both breathing heavily. “Sorry,” she breathes out, leaning her forehead on his shoulder. She closes her eyes. She needs a second.
“Don’t be,” he says, bringing her face back up to his and brushing his thumbs on her cheek. “God, you’re so beautiful. I’ve been wanting to do that since the minute I saw you.”
She chuckles, sliding off of him and settling into his side, staring out at the skyline again. “You’ve had plenty of chances.”
“I kinda knew if I kissed you before knowing what we were, it would be more heartbreaking if you rejected me.”
“If I rejected you?”
“Yes.”
“In what world would I have rejected you?”
“I don’t know. But I’m glad it’s not this world.”
She keeps herself from rolling her eyes, and just leans up to kiss him on the cheek. Because, you know, she can do that now.
(That night, staring out at the stunning skyline of a city she has grown to love, with the warmth of the blankets over her legs and over her shoulder, a boy she was very quickly growing to care for deeply pressed by her side, telling her he feels the same way, she felt lifted. Free.
Unstoppable)
(When he drops her home, it’s 1:18 a.m. and she doesn’t want to get out of the car. With the way his hand has been attached to her thigh, it seems like he doesn’t want her to get out either. But he has an 11 am practice tomorrow and he just had a game. He’s exhausted.
He kisses her once, twice, a third time before letting her go. As soon as she steps through the lobby of her apartment building and out of view, his grin practically splits his face. He smiles all the way home)
#k writes#hockey fic#hockey fanfic#hockey fiction#hockey rpf#jack hughes#devils#new jersey devils#jack hughes x oc#jack hughes x ofc#jack hughes fic#jack hughes fiction#jack hughes blurb#jack hughes writing#jack hughes imagine#jack hughes fanfiction#nhl imagine#nhl#nhl fanfic#nhl fanfiction
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JM and JK shower together
FACT!!
Be honest now. We thought it, we assumed it, and now we are getting confirmation.
And yes, this is within military settings, but you need to be really naïve or daft to think that this is happening only because of the military setting or only since they enlisted.
I will explain this once, because people seem to hang on to the "they have to shower together in the military" and "these are communal showers and they shower with others as well".
NOPE.
What might have been true for basic training, the whole designated shower times and showering together (for soldiers as a whole, not JM and JK, because they did not shower with others from the start, I've talked about this in previous posts), is not true once they are assigned to their units. At that point soldiers can shower at their own free will and time, before or after duties. Depending on the barracks there will also be a difference of how these showers look - you could have a bathroom for every room of 4 (this would be in newer quarters) or multiple stall showers for barracks with bigger rooms that hold multiple soldiers. JK and JM have different duties within their unit. Different timetables. And yet they choose to wait for each other and shower together.
They don't have to!!
They choose to!!
In any case, point being that JK and JM CHOOSE (once again that word) to shower together.
Just the two of them!!!
But then, they have always been showering together.
I mean, they've been doing it for years.
And I'm not talking about the early days when the lot of them may have had to shower together. No. I'm talking about when they are 2 grown ass men, including when they are no longer living in the dorms (which would be for at least 4 years now).
We might have only guessed or assumed it in the past though. You know, because of us believing they are a couple, their shared accommodations and the crumbs they have left for us, like the good Hansel and Gretel that they are.
What am I talking about, you may ask?
Well, here are a few examples...
I guess I'll start with Jikook in Malta.
Hobi's surprise visit to JK's room.
Finding a wet haired JK in his pj's, telling us he just came out of the shower. Ignoring a wet haired JM also in the same room. Clearly having showered shortly therefor.
Not cutting proof, I know, but definitely eyebrow raising suspicious.
JM telling us JK's shower lengths
Current shower lengths.
JM knowing this. The others not (if the "they live together in the dorms" excuse is sounded).
Then we had Run BTS episodes 131-132.
I will let JK speak for himself.
Next we have JK's live 27 July 2023.
That was a doozy, wasn't it?😂😂
That was smoking
the flirting
the posturing.
This one was over the roof loud, and because of that maybe one of the loudest moments just flew over some people's heads...
What is he saying?
He'll grab his toiletries and go over to do the live? Shower at JM's before? Shower at his after? Do the live, shower and sleep over? Whichever of these you go with it's god damn fucking loud.
The ease in which JK just says it too. It's just something he's used to do. Go wash up at JM's. Because what? The shower in his luxurious unit in Brunnen doesn't work? The man lives a few minutes away from JM and yet he needs to pop over to his to shower?
I ask you this: do you think JK is going to JM's to shower alone? Something he can clearly do at home?
And JM? I didn't hear a no to the "I'll come over and shower at yours". Just a not now to the live. So...
Ays jeju shower
youtube
🐰We might feel differently after a shower.
🐰This might be because we just swam.
🐥ppeuriri~
This time no giggles, just a smile and then a sultry expression walking towards JK.
Cut.
Talk about showering with them off camera.
And lots of shady stuff going on to make us think that maybe, just maybe, those two kind of showered together.
Idk, am I being clear enough?
So, let's talk about that shower for a second.
We see JK going into the bathroom, JM nowhere to be seen.
Obviously he's not showering upstairs with Tae asleep there and both of their suitcases spread out open in front of the downstairs bathroom.
Next we see JM outside of the bathroom brushing his hair dressed after the shower and JK is in the bathroom partially dressed after that shower.
JM walking in behind JK, and yes, it looks like he's lifting his arms to fix his hair, but that cut there again.... I am choosing to believe that he also went in for a hug there. Hill meet Kanmom.
Oh, and hunger issue solved at this point.
Ppeuriri.
So if you're ready (so if you're ready) And if you'll let me (and if you'll let me) I wanna see it in motion, in 3D (uh-uh) You won't regret me (you won't regret me) Champagne confetti (champagne confetti) I wanna see it in motion, in 3D
They said it, not me!!!
Who needs to eat anything when you can get some 3D action instead?
Are you sure Sapporo
JM goes to have a shower, JK following in suit a few minutes later, walking into the bathroom (after that morning wood subsides if only a little, I may add).
JK going to shower with JM or not, they clearly have zero problem with being naked in front of each other, JK not even hesitating to walk in on a showering JM. Friends or not, living together years ago or not, there is this thing called privacy and respecting each other's privacy, oh and boundaries between 2 grown people.
You know who has zero issues with that? Couples!!!
So yeah, we got these hints and crumbs over the years.
But then JK goes and drops this, with that cute ass smirk on his face...
Like it's nothing.
Like there is nothing to it.
Like this won't break the internet, blow our minds to smithereens and break TKKs and solos and haters.
Like not only confirming they shower together (huge within itself), this confirmed what so many were trying to disprove for the past 12 months since they enlisted, and that is that the two are together by choice, have been ever since they enlisted, and choose to spend their spare time together as well. Including in the shower.
But then again...
This REALLY shouldn't have come as such a surprise seeing that JM most definitley had zero problem doing this:
With the gymnastics that it took to perfect writing his name on that chest that clearly belongs to him.
As he's made it clear!!!
And as so proudly JK is showcasing it as well.
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Yes to all of this. 100% Yes!
And to add on, I think Feyre ended up getting exactly what she wanted.
She got upset about the whole 'no such thing as a high lady' thing, in a conversation she started by stating how the title of High Lady made her uncomfortable. Between this and the way she chants in her head, while opening gifts, praying that they aren't crowns, imply that the idea of having equal authority and political power upset her. However, what Feyre did want, was to paint, help rebuild after the devastation of Amarantha's reign, and not be stuck indoors all the time.
There were a couple problems with each of her desires though. Her trauma reaction prevented her from doing things she enjoyed, due to both survivors guilt and a associating red with blood. Going out was dangerous, due to her unstable powers, the instability of the court, and the risk of Hybern/others coming after her (remember that she's untrained in both magic, and fighting, still trying to become properly accustomed to her fae body and new lifestyle, and panics at the sight of anything resembling blood, which probably would include actual blood). All of these are valid concerns, but Feyre's desires a valid too. It was up to her and Tamlin to communicate, grow their relationship, and try to find solutions, alternatives, and otherwise attempt to move forward together, while supporting each other, setting healthy boundaries, and making their expectations clear. If it couldn't work out, or they weren't meshing, then they should've broken up amicably.
But this post isn't about their communication issues.
Stepping back, I think what Feyre wants is power without the responsibility or drawbacks.
She wants to have her say in politics, or matters regarding the court, when she feels like it, but refuses to acknowledge the political ramifications of marrying The High Lord of Spring, being the woman who broke Amarantha's Curse, and having the powers of all seven HLs after being resurrected by them. She wants to be Tamlin's equal in every way, but when it comes to the idea of equal political status, she expresses discomfort. She wants power equal to his, without the title. Yet, she refuses to acknowledge or even deal with or learn more about the political ramifications of her circumstances.
Feyre laments her circumstances, but doesn't make an effort to educate herself about them. She never tries to learn how to read or ask about the laws of the Spring Court. She's upset when people cite that there are rules and traditions she and they need to follow, but makes no effort to learn them in any capacity, so she might understand her situation, and take action accordingly. Instead, she shows open disdain for those rules and traditions, without properly trying to communicate her problem, leaving her looking like a toddler.
Now, Velaris is the opposite of this.
There's no danger because no one knows it exists.
There's no distance between her and the people because they've spent centuries living next door to their ruler and his inner court, and can see him regularly when he hosts those meet & greets where his people raise their issues to him.
They aren't bombarding her with their gratitude because, a) It was the spring Court that was cursed, and b) The only issues Velaris saw, from what we can tell, was no trade, meaning no spices. It's clear that the area warded was large enough to not only encompass the city, but enough farmland to feed the entire population for fifty years, otherwise having very little over all impact on their quality of life.
Velaris has been protected on the blood of Illyria and the Hewn City, facing little to no significant changes in their lifestyles as a result. Both during war, and under Amarantha.
The political climate of the Velaris is not only stable, but has no impact on other courts, nor does it draw the eye of foreign nations because, again, nobody knows it exists. Feyre can do what she wants, because there's little consequence in doing so, while in Velaris. If Feyre fucks up political matters, it isn't going to have many ramifications, because the citizens will just laugh it off and carry on with their day.
If she uses her powers, before the other HLs learn about them, she doesn't have to worry about being spied on, anyone learning about them, because it doesn't matter in Velaris. If she wants to spend time painting at a studio in town, or volunteering, there's no risk of her life being in danger, because nobody knows this city exists. If anyone is looking for her, they will probably check either The Hewn City, Illyria, or any other small towns/villiages/cities that may exist because nobody suspects that there's a secret other city.
Meanwhile, none of those factors can be applied to the Spring Court, because while there, all eyes are on her and there would be ramifications to her actions.
It makes sense Feyre becomes High Lady in Velaris, because it means nothing. It requires nothing from her. There's little weight on her shoulders, and being uneducated isn't an issue because there's nobody around to critique her or how much/little she works. To the citizens, she's more like a neighbour, and we have no evidence that any of them leave Velaris at all, so we can assume they haven't personally seen the other two thirds of their court. With that in mind, what have they got to compare her or Rhys to, given the luxury they live in.
Of course she doesn't do High Lady duties. She doesn't have any, and if she did, they wouldn't matter. It's not like they look after anywhere other than Velaris anyway.
In regards to Nesta, I agree that she isn't able to rule either, but she has the most potential. It's important to understand that when we're told that Nesta was 'raised to marry a prince', it doesn't mean she's versed in politics. At least not more than is necessary for social gatherings. Aside from birthing heirs, and possibly hosting events, a Princess or Queen would be responsible for managing the household, meaning Nesta was likely raised to do just that. When they got their wealth back, it was likely her running and managing the household, especially while her father was away.
Ultimately, Nesta's education didn't give her the skills a politition would need, she has the most potential to learn, and even without that, I still think she'd do a better job than Feyre. At the very least, she can read, and has the initiative to go learn how to do it, if she doesn't know.
doesn’t surprise me feyre doesn’t do her high lady duties and she only brings it up for her own interests bc remember how much she brought up tamlin not making her a high lady?
tamlin would have made her his lady, same duties now she is doing now except her title has “high” word in it
“tamlin never saw me as his equal” bc your not! you don’t even know the basics of fae world!
tamlin not seeing feyre his equal for position of ruling does not mean he didn’t love or value her
it’s most likely tamlin thought they had all the time in the world now and he would teach her as they’d go
and is like what’s wrong with that?? some self reflection would go a long way feyre
she isn’t educated
she knows nothing about the faes or lands
has no training in politics
has no idea how to behave at court
she knows nothing
feyre had no reason to believe she is worthy of being tamlin’s or anyone’s equal in a position of leadership over a court
all she did was free tamlin, who then killed amarantha
if she believes it should be bc of love like honey, that’s not how it works. again it shows she has no knowledge of the land, of fae and the world of power
if it was human lands and politics then it’d make sense, they don’t follow magic bound laws
does that mean kallias sees viviane, who was in charge while he was UtM, as weak? no
if feyre wants to hate tamlin for not teaching her anything like girl at first u didn’t care about it and then u were traumatised and whisked away to nc, when was he suppose to teach u??
even if we ignore magic choosing the ruler rule….
she married a high lord and got her title, but she hasn’t earned it
it would be one thing if she worked after getting it through marriage but she hasn’t. all she did was destroy a court, attack lady autumn, look down on her citizens like her mate and opened a paint studio like?? that’s not ruling
“i’m the high lady of night court, i can do as i please” but u can’t honey, that’s not how it works
it’s a title she shows off but she doesn’t do the job it requires, and i don’t see how she is respected for it- for being a high lady
feyre hasn’t earned the title of being a high lady
she hadn’t even earned a position of power or a position in a court
for nesta, i don’t believe she’s ready nor has earned a title of a ruler either, but she is educated enough to be a part of a court
nesta was meant to married for power but it’s feyre who actually did
looking back, it’s crazy how much tamlin not naming her a high lady bothered her and she did no self reflection on it
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a chance encounter - a cho hyun-ju x reader fic (part 8)
summary: a story about how you and hyun-ju met and the following years of your relationship. masterlist cw: no use of y/n, reader is afab, fluff, hurt/comfort, slow burn, pre-squid game, slice of life, domesticity, very wonky timeline. a/n: thanks for the answers to my questions last chapter! i have decided what to do, but i'll keep it a secret for now lol this chapter is just a bunch of snippets i've written and couldn't fit anywhere else in the story, so it became... this! in my head, you two first met in jan 22, and the games happened in oct/nov 24, so imagine these things happened during this time period. and again, thank you for all the positive response, it makes my heart warm to see you enjoy my silly story! as usual, enjoy xx comments are always welcome (i’ll definitely take longer to post now since my vacation is officially over, one minute of silence please) (song inspo: the land & the sea - hannah & maggie) taglist: @strayteez3staner @dekiruxxx @jeongteen @sunnysurvives @3leni @etta-huracan @honeyhyunju @basoressia @antisocial-aina @googie-jeon @christinamadsen @deernat @vvlwvvy
part 8. love, unrushed and unfolding
there was no grand moment when you and hyun-ju officially became girlfriends. no nervous confession, no neatly rehearsed lines. it just happened, like slipping into warm water, natural and inevitable. one day, while running errands together, you were at the grocery store, arms full of snacks, when ha-neul called.
"hey, where are you?"
"mart," you said, wedging your phone between your ear and shoulder as you grabbed a bag of tangerines. "hyun-ju’s making dinner, and i got stuck with shopping duty."
you didn’t think anything of it at first, but ha-neul caught on immediately.
"hyun-ju’s making dinner? cute. look at my girl playing house with her girlfriend."
the word landed like a pebble in water—small, but rippling outward. you froze for half a second, then stole a glance at hyun-ju, who was a few feet away, inspecting a carton of eggs with a level of seriousness that made you fond.
"yeah, well," you said, voice casual. "she’s the better cook. i just follow orders."
"uh-huh," ha-neul drawled. "and does your girlfriend know you’re completely whipped?"
you rolled your eyes and hung up, but the word stayed lodged in your brain. that night, when hyun-ju was stirring a pot by the stove, you leaned against the counter and said it out loud.
"so, i called you my girlfriend today."
she didn’t stop stirring, didn’t react immediately. then, without looking at you, she said, "yeah?"
"yeah."
finally, she glanced up, lips twitching like she was holding back a smile. "and?"
"and… i think i like it."
she hummed, nodding as if considering it. then she set the spoon down, stepped closer, and hooked a finger into one of your belt loops, tugging you toward her.
"good," she murmured against your lips. "because i’ve been calling you mine in my head for a while now."
and just like that, it was settled. no ceremony, no discussion. just two people who had already chosen each other in every way that mattered.
it became clear that you were hers, and she was yours, in the little things. how she always reached for your hand in the car, even if it was just resting on the gear shift. how you always saved the last bite of your food for her, even when you didn’t want to. how she let you steal her hoodies, even the ones she pretended were off-limits. and then there were the moments that felt bigger, like the time she gave you the locket.
it was your birthday, and hyun-ju refused to let you lift a single finger the entire day. she cooked breakfast, surprised you with an impromptu and fast trip, and insisted on carrying everything—even the small coffee you got on the way to the beach.
"aein, give it," she said, holding out a hand as you walked down the shore.
"it’s a cup of coffee, hyun-ju, not a ten-kilo weight."
"doesn’t matter. birthday rule."
you rolled your eyes but handed it over because she looked so damn pleased with herself. the beach was quiet, waves rolling in and out in a lazy rhythm, the sky painted in hues of gold and soft lavender. hyun-ju shifted beside you, pulling something from the pocket of her windbreaker. she hesitated for a second—just a second—then turned to you and said, "here."
she pressed a small black box into your palm, fingers warm against yours. you blinked at it, surprised. "what’s this?"
"your present," she said simply, but her voice was softer than usual, careful in a way that made your chest tighten. you opened the box, and the moment you saw what was inside, the world tilted just slightly.
a gold heart-shaped locket rested against the dark velvet lining, gleaming under the fading sunlight. it was simple, delicate. you carefully pried it open, and there, tucked inside, were two tiny photos—one of hyun-ju, the other of you. your fingers tightened around the locket, a rush of warmth filling your chest. you swallowed, trying to steady yourself.
"you… put our pictures in here?" you asked, voice barely above a whisper.
hyun-ju exhaled a small, nervous laugh. "yeah."
"hyun-ju—"
"don’t make it a big deal," she muttered, rubbing the back of her neck. "i just… i wanted you to have something of me. with you. always. "
“and i’d have mine too," she says, pulling out a matching locket from beneath her collar.
that’s when you notice she’s been wearing hers this whole time.
you stared at her, at the way her eyes stayed fixed on the locket in your hands, like she was afraid of what she’d see in your face. like she was already bracing for you to tease her about it. you didn’t. instead, you shifted closer, cupping her cheek and tilting her face toward you.
"it is a big deal," you said softly. "and i love it."
her eyes flickered, lips parting slightly. you pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, slow and lingering, like an unspoken thank you. when you pulled away, she exhaled, resting her forehead against yours for a moment before reaching out to take the locket from your hands.
"let me," she murmured. you turned around, sweeping your hair aside as she clasped it around your neck. the chain was cool against your skin, but the locket itself felt warm—like it belonged there. you touched it lightly, turning back to face her. she watched you, eyes steady, the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.
"looks good on you," she said.
you grinned. "yeah?"
"yeah."
you leaned in, brushing your nose against hers. "i’ll keep it forever, you know."
hyun-ju’s fingers ghosted over your collarbone, resting just above the locket. "i know."
and in that moment, you knew—without question—that she meant it. the weight of it against your chest became a quiet, constant reminder, not just of her, but of everything you were building together. it was easy to get lost in the warmth of it, in the quiet security of knowing that, no matter what, you had each other. the city stretched beyond the shore, distant and unconcerned, but right here, with her, the world felt small, safe, and just enough.
you were staying in a hotel for the night, to rest before the drive back in the morning. the night was still, the kind of deep quiet that only comes when the world outside has long settled, leaving just the two of you in the dim glow of the bedside lamp. the soft hum of the ocean filtered through the window, distant enough to feel unreal. you were both tangled together, half-awake, neither of you willing to fully succumb to sleep yet.
hyun-ju’s fingers traced slow, absentminded circles on your back. you had your head on her chest, her heartbeat steady beneath your ear, grounding you in a way nothing else ever had. she smelled like warmth, like safety. like home.
your eyes fluttered closed as you exhaled, completely at ease. her other hand rested in your hair, playing with the strands, twirling them between her fingers. you could tell she was tired—her touches were lazy, unfocused, like she wasn’t thinking about it, just feeling you. you liked when she was like this, when she let herself be soft with you.
"you're quiet," she murmured, her voice low, a little hoarse from exhaustion.
you hummed in response, nuzzling closer. "just thinking."
"about what?"
you didn’t mean to say it. you didn’t plan for it. but it slipped out, as natural as breathing.
"i love you, hyun-ju."
her fingers froze in your hair. you felt the sharp inhale she took, the way her chest rose a little too quickly beneath you. her heartbeat had quickened.
your own breath hitched. maybe it was too soon. maybe you had ruined something—
but then her hands were on your face, tilting you up to look at her.
she looked stunned, lips slightly parted, brows lifted like she couldn’t quite believe what she just heard. and then, slowly, her expression softened. her eyes—deep brown and endless—searched yours like she was committing this moment to memory.
and then she smiled. that smile, the real one, the one that melted you every time.
"i love you too."
the words came out barely above a whisper, but you felt them everywhere. before you could respond, she was already pulling you in, arms locking around you, pressing her forehead to yours. her breath trembled as she exhaled, and you realized she’d been holding it in.
you smiled against her, cupped her jaw as you kissed her—slow and deep, like trying to pour everything you felt into her, trying to tell her that this was real, that you meant it, that she didn’t have to be afraid.
she didn’t say much after that. she didn’t need to. she just pulled you into her arms again, held you against her chest, her lips pressed to the crown of your head as her fingers traced gentle patterns on your back.
neither of you spoke for a long time. just the sound of your breaths, your heartbeats, intertwined and steady.
and then, as you were drifting off, she whispered it again. "i love you."
just to make sure you knew.
*
the first time hyun-ju told you about thailand, it was a slow evening, one of those where neither of you wanted to say goodbye yet, so you found yourselves in the fluorescent glow of a convenience store. the air was thick with the smell of warm broth from the instant ramen station, the low hum of a refrigerator filling the silence as the two of you waited for your onigiri to heat up in the microwave.
"thailand has some of the best surgeons in the world for gender-affirming surgery," she had said then, like it was an idle thought, a passing remark.
you glanced up from your juice selection, tilting your head. "yeah?"
she nodded, taking a slow sip of her strawberry milk. "a friend of mine from the support group, jaidee, she’s thai. she told me all about it–her surgery. people from all over the world go there. the doctors are some of the best, and it’s still expensive, but not as much as here."
you closed the fridge door and leaned against it, watching her. there was something careful in the way she spoke, like she was testing the waters, unsure if she should let herself hope.
"i thought insurance covered some of it here?" you asked.
hyun-ju scoffed, shaking her head. "barely. and even then, you have to jump through a million hoops. you have to prove you're 'serious enough,' that it won’t be a 'regretful decision.' they make you wait, make you beg for something that should already be yours." she sighed, stirring the ice in her cup with her straw. "even if i could qualify for aid, i'd still have to pay most of it on my own. and i don’t exactly have that kind of money lying around."
there was something in her voice—something tired. you hated that she had to carry this weight, that something so personal, so necessary, had to be treated like a privilege she had to earn.
"is that where you want to go?" you asked softly.
she hesitated, then nodded. "yeah. when i can afford it."
something about the way she said it made your chest ache.
"i have money saved up," you offered. "i could—"
"no," she interrupted gently, shaking her head before you could finish. "i can't ask that of you."
"you’re not asking, i’m offering."
she smiled, small but warm. "i know. but this is something i need to do for myself."
you understood, even if part of you wished she’d let you carry some of the burden.
so instead, you squeezed her hand and said, "well, when the time comes, i’m coming with you. you don’t even have to ask."
that was when she laughed, something bright and unguarded. "of course you are. it was never a doubt"
and now, months later, that conversation echoed in your mind as you stood outside her apartment, an a3 folder tucked under your arm.
hyun-ju had been sick all day, a minor flu keeping her in bed, her texts throughout the afternoon slow and pitiful—“i think i’m dying.” “i hate everything.” “the only thing keeping me alive is the hope of your love.”
you laughed at your phone every time she sent something dramatic, teasing her relentlessly, but a part of you did feel bad that you couldn’t be there earlier. so, you decided to bring her something to lift her spirits.
when she answered the door, wrapped in a thick hoodie, her hair still slightly damp from a shower, she blinked at the folder in your hands.
"what’s that?" she asked, voice scratchy.
you leaned in to kiss her, only for her to lean back immediately. "i don’t want to give you my virus, aein!"
you laughed, nudging her inside. "fine, fine. but come sit with me, we’re making something."
she followed you to the living room, watching as you spread out the contents of the folder—paper, markers, scissors, glue, magazines, and printed images.
"a vision board?" she asked, tilting her head.
"yep." you arranged the materials with the same focus you used when planning ad campaigns at work. "we make them all the time at the agency. it’s basically a collage of images and words representing a project–-in our case, a goal. so today, we’re making a thailand vision board."
hyun-ju blinked at you, then at the scattered materials. "you're really serious about this."
"of course i am." you cut out a small photo of a bangkok skyline and placed it in the center of the board. "it’s your dream. and we’re going to make it happen."
you didn’t notice at first, too focused on arranging the pictures, but when you finally glanced up, hyun-ju was staring at you, something unreadable in her expression.
"what?" you asked, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious.
she shook her head with a soft chuckle. "nothing. you’re just… too cute when you get all excited."
you rolled your eyes but couldn’t fight the warmth in your chest. "shut up and help me cut these."
for the next hour, the two of you worked side by side. you printed out images, flipped through old magazines, and carefully glued everything onto a large sheet of paper. there was a map of thailand, images of white sand beaches, street food stalls, and bustling city streets. you glued an old 1,000 won bill to the bottom corner—"for good luck," you said. hyun-ju found the phrase "new beginnings" in a magazine and placed it near the center, close to a selfie of you two. you added tiny heart stickers, while she carefully placed the trans and lesbian pride flags in the corners.
and right in the middle, in bold marker, you wrote thailand.
when it was done, you both sat back, admiring the finished board.
"it’s perfect," hyun-ju murmured.
you grinned. "we’re perfect."
she laughed, shaking her head, but you could tell she was touched.
her fingers traced over the edges of the board, her smile softening. "this means a lot."
you reached for her hand, squeezing gently. "we’re really going to do this, hyun-ju. one day, we’ll be standing there for real, looking at the actual thing."
she exhaled, pressing her forehead to yours, eyes fluttering shut. "yeah," she whispered. "one day."
you hung the board on the living room wall, right beside her taekwondo belts, where it would be impossible to ignore. every time she saw it, she’d be reminded: this dream wasn’t just hers anymore.
it was yours, too.
*
but being with hyun-ju wasn’t always effortless. in the beginning, she kept parts of herself tucked away, hesitant to voice her feelings or desires. she had a habit of retreating, of swallowing words before they could fully form. it wasn’t that she didn’t care—you knew she did—but sometimes, it felt like she was afraid to ask for too much. you remember the first real fight you ever had, just a month into your relationship, and how it all started because of this—because you wanted openness, and she wasn’t sure how to give it yet.
hyun-ju has always been touchy with you. in your apartment, in her apartment, curled up on the couch, wrapped around you in bed—her hands are a constant presence, tucking your hair behind your ear, tracing slow circles on your wrist, squeezing your knee when she laughs. she holds you like it's instinct, like letting go isn’t an option.
but outside, it’s different.
she walks beside you but doesn’t touch you. when you try to loop your arm through hers, she shifts, just slightly, so the moment passes unnoticed. when you reach for her hand, she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, busies herself adjusting her sleeves. it’s subtle, almost imperceptible, but once you notice it, you can’t unsee it.
at first, you tell yourself it’s just a habit. maybe she’s distracted. maybe she doesn’t even realize she’s doing it. but then weeks pass, and you see the pattern—the careful space she leaves between you, the way she subtly angles her body away in public, the contrast of how freely she touches you when no one else is around.
and it starts to eat at you.
you don’t want to care. you don’t want this to feel like a rejection. but the inconsistency claws at your chest, whispering things you don’t want to believe. she’s ashamed of you. she doesn’t want people to know.
you try not to think about it. until you can’t anymore.
it happens on a quiet evening, walking back from a late dinner. the streets aren’t crowded, the air is cool, and the city hums around you. it’s one of those moments that should be easy—just the two of you, walking home, full and content.
you reach for her hand. and like always, she finds a way to avoid it; she scratches her arm, pretends to fix the sleeve of her jacket, tucks her fingers into her pocket.
that’s it.
"are you ashamed of me?"
the words leave your mouth before you can stop them. they hang between you, sharp and heavy, cutting through the night air.
hyun-ju stops walking.
"what?" her voice is quiet, careful, like she misheard you and hopes you won’t repeat it.
"you heard me." you turn to face her fully, arms crossed, trying to keep your voice steady even though your chest feels tight. "are you ashamed of me?"
her brows furrow. "what are you talking about?"
you laugh, but it’s hollow. "i mean, it’s obvious, right? you won’t even hold my hand in public. you keep your distance like—like you don’t want anyone to know we’re together."
hyun-ju flinches, just barely, but enough.
"that’s not true," she says, but there’s something fragile in her voice, something unsure.
"then what is it?" you press. "because i’ve been nothing but honest with you. you know how hard it was for me to come to terms with this, to finally let go of all the shit i was taught about what my life was supposed to look like. and now i just— i want to live, hyun-ju. i want to hold my girlfriend’s hand. i don’t want to have to wonder if she’s embarrassed by me."
her jaw tightens, her eyes dart away. she’s silent for a moment, then she exhales sharply, like she's been holding something in.
"it’s not you," she says finally. "it’s never been you."
"then what?" you demand, frustration creeping into your voice. "because it sure as hell feels like it’s me."
hyun-ju exhaled shakily, her hands gripping the edge of the table. “because i’m afraid,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.
the words knock the wind out of you.
“afraid of what?”
hyun-ju looks away, crossing her arms over her chest. "you don’t know what it’s like," she says firmly. "to have people glare at you just for existing. to hear whispers, to feel their eyes on you like you don’t belong. and sometimes, it’s worse than that." she pauses, as if debating whether to continue, then finally says, "i’ve been grabbed before. shoved. just for being me .i’ve seen what happens to girls like me when the wrong person decides to take it further. and i can handle that—i’ve always been able to handle it. but you…” her voice cracked, and she looked away. “you’re not like me. you shouldn’t have to deal with that.”"
your heart clenches.
she lifts her gaze to yours, and her eyes are burning, raw with something you recognize as fear and fury tangled together. "and you— you’re…" she exhales sharply. "you’re strong, but you’re not trained for that. what if someone tries something? what if i can’t stop them in time?"
she rubs her face, looking exhausted. "it’s not that i don’t want to hold your hand. i just— i don’t know how to stop being afraid."
the anger drains from your body, leaving only aching frustration and something softer, something unbearably tender.
you take a step closer. "i get it," you say, voice gentler now. "i do. and i know it’s different for you. but i don’t want to live my life in fear. i’ve already spent too much time doing that. i don’t care what people think anymore. i just want to be with you."
she looks at you, something unreadable in her eyes.
"you don’t have to prove anything," you continue. "i’m not asking you to throw yourself into danger. but i- i want to hold your hand, hyun-ju. that’s all. just… let me hold your hand."
she nods, just once. "i’ll try."
and she does.
the next time you go out, she intertwines her fingers with yours. it’s hesitant at first, light, as if she’s testing the weight of it. then she squeezes your hand properly, and warmth spreads through you. but then, two old women pass by, their expressions twisting in distaste. hyun-ju drops your hand immediately.
another time, a man mutters something disgusting under his breath as he walks by, and again, she pulls away. both times, you fight. not because she let go, but because she keeps trying and then stopping, keeps giving you hope and then snatching it away.
the third time, you refused to let go.
hyun-ju’s hand was in yours as you walked through the busy streets, her palm damp with sweat. you could feel the tension in her grip, the way her fingers twitched as if she wanted to pull away. but you held on tighter. when she glanced at you, her expression a mix of fear and determination, you gave her a small, reassuring smile.
by the time you reached your car, her breath was labored, her shoulders rising and falling as if she’d just run a marathon.
“i didn’t let go,” she said, her voice shaky but triumphant.
“you didn’t,” you said, your chest swelling with pride.
hyun-ju exhaled, a small, tentative smile spreading across her face. “it was hard, but… it felt good. being with you like that.”
you reached out, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “you don’t have to do it all at once. just take it one step at a time. i’m not going anywhere.”
*
ha-neul’s apartment looked like something straight out of a lifestyle magazine—floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city, sleek modern furniture, a dining table that seated twelve despite the fact that she lived alone. the kind of space designed for entertaining, and she loved to entertain. her dinner parties had become something of a tradition in your friend group, always featuring a private chef, good wine, and an excuse to indulge in both food and conversation. the guest list was carefully curated—never too big, always people she trusted to create the perfect balance between fun and relaxed.
this time, you wanted hyun-ju to be there.
when you first brought it up, she hesitated, shifting uncomfortably on your couch. "i don’t know… your friends might not be comfortable with me there."
"hyun-ju, they’re my closest friends," you reassured her, squeezing her knee. "they know about us, and they’re the most open-minded people i know. it’s not going to be weird."
she still seemed unsure, fingers fidgeting with the hem of her sleeve. "it’s just… i don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable."
you sighed, tilting your head at her. "aein, you’re not an outsider. you’re my girlfriend. i want them to know you."
that word—girlfriend—made something soften in her expression. she looked at you for a long moment before exhaling, nodding once. "okay," she said. "i’ll go."
you arrived at ha-neul’s place right on time, greeted instantly by the scent of something buttery and rich wafting from the open kitchen, where a chef was busy plating appetizers. soft jazz played in the background, and the apartment was already buzzing with chatter and laughter from the small group scattered around the living space. ha-neul spotted you from across the room, raising a glass of white wine in greeting. "my favorite couple has arrived!"
hyun-ju tensed slightly at the attention, but you simply rolled your eyes and guided her further inside.
"stop embarrassing me five seconds after i walk through the door," you muttered through a smile, and ha-neul grinned.
"no promises. now, introduce me properly before i steal your girlfriend away."
hyun-ju chuckled at that, and you relaxed.
the introductions went smoothly—hyun-ju’s natural charm quickly melting away any lingering apprehension. by the time everyone sat down at the long dining table, the initial stiffness had disappeared. the conversation flowed effortlessly, moving from topic to topic. ha-neul and you remembered the time a ridiculous client who demanded fifteen logo variations before going with the first one she was shown. one of your coworkers, ji-won, admitted he had fallen asleep on a zoom call that morning, only to jolt awake when his name was called.
"did you play it off?" ha-neul asked, smirking over her wine glass.
ji-won groaned. "i tried, but there’s security footage. my manager literally sent me a screenshot of my drooling face."
laughter rippled around the table, hyun-ju included. she had been quiet at first, mostly listening, but now she was leaning in, engaged in the conversation.
"i fell asleep standing once," she admitted, making everyone turn to her in surprise.
"no way," ha-neul said, intrigued. "how?"
hyun-ju shrugged, a small grin tugging at her lips. "during a night drill in the army. we were in formation, waiting for the officer’s orders, and i guess i just… blacked out for a second. next thing i knew, someone was shaking me awake."
"wait, wait—so you were literally upright? just unconscious?" ji-won asked, eyes wide.
"yup," hyun-ju confirmed.
"that’s a new level of exhaustion. i’m impressed."
the night unfolded in a haze of stories, effortless laughter, and wine glasses that never seemed to stay empty for long. by the time dessert was served, hyun-ju had fully settled in, her usual guardedness replaced by easy amusement. she chuckled when another friend enthusiastically showcased their never-ending repertoire of k-pop choreography and outright laughed at your attempt to belt out a duet with ha-neul, shaking her head at the dramatic high notes you two definitely couldn't reach. at some point, beneath the table, your fingers brushed against hers. you gave her hand a gentle squeeze, and without hesitation, she squeezed back.
by the end of the night, ha-neul pulled you aside before you left and whispered, "i like her. you better not mess this up," you just smiled.
"i don’t plan to," you replied.
the next morning, as you sat at your desk, sipping coffee and scrolling through the group chat, when a notification popped up. a photo from the dinner party, everyone laughing, glasses raised. you and hyun-ju were seated close, your arm looped around hers, your head tilted slightly against her shoulder. you loved the photo. it was warm, real, a snapshot of a night you’d remember.
then a message from your boss: who’s the new girl?
you quickly replied, that’s my girlfriend.
your heart pounded as you sent it. it wasn’t that you were ashamed—never that. but there was something unnerving about seeing it stated so plainly in a professional space. you weren’t sure if it was anxiety or anticipation, but you felt it settle deep in your chest.
later that day, you were called into your boss’s office. the door was slightly ajar when you arrived, the faint hum of the air conditioner filling the quiet space. you knocked lightly, and she looked up from her desk, offering a small smile.
“come in,” she said, gesturing to the chair across from her.
you stepped inside, your stomach twisting slightly. you’d been replaying the events of the dinner party in your head all morning, wondering if this meeting was about the photo.
your boss folded her hands on the desk, her expression kind but cautious. “thanks for coming by. i just wanted to have a quick chat.”
you nodded, keeping your face neutral. “of course. what’s on your mind?”
she hesitated for a moment, then offered a small, apologetic smile. “i saw the photo from the dinner party last night. it looked like a great time—everyone seemed so relaxed and happy.”
“it was,” you said, your voice steady. “it was nice to spend time with everyone outside of work.”
her smile lingered, but there was a hint of something else behind it—concern, perhaps. “you mentioned that the woman sitting next to you is your girlfriend?”
your chest tightened slightly, but you nodded. “yes, that’s hyun-ju.”
she paused, her expression softening further. “first of all, let me say that i’m so happy for you. it’s clear from the photo that you two care about each other a lot, and that’s wonderful to see.”
“thank you,” you said, your voice quieter now.
she paused, her lips pressing together briefly before she spoke again. “i want to start by saying that i respect your personal life, and it’s not my place to comment on who you date. you’re an excellent employee, and that’s what matters to me.”
you exhaled a small breath of relief, but you could tell there was more.
“that being said,” she continued, her tone careful, “i feel like it’s my responsibility to… make sure you’re aware of how this could be perceived by others. not here, of course—our agency is very open-minded, and everyone i’ve spoken to has nothing but respect for you. but outside of this bubble, in the broader professional world, things can still be… challenging.”
you stiffened slightly, your hands gripping the edge of the chair. “challenging how?”
she sighed, her fingers drumming lightly against the desk. “you know how things are in korea. while there’s been progress in recent years, there’s still a lot of stigma around lgbtq relationships. some clients, some partners we work with… they might not share the same level of acceptance. and i worry that if word gets out, it could complicate things for you.”
you felt your stomach twist, the weight of her words settling over you like a heavy blanket. “are you saying this could be a problem?”
she sighed, her fingers drumming lightly against the desk. “not here, no. your colleagues respect you, and your work speaks for itself. but with clients… it’s hard to say. there are still people who hold outdated views, and sometimes they let those views influence their decisions, even if it has nothing to do with the work itself.”
you frowned, leaning forward slightly. “has that happened before? has a client ever withdrawn a contract because of something like this?”
she hesitated, her lips pressing together briefly before she nodded. “it’s rare, but yes, it has happened. not often, and not always for the reasons you’d expect. but i’ve seen clients make excuses, find ways to back out of deals, and it’s hard not to notice the pattern when it happens.”
her honesty stung, even though you’d expected it. “and you think that could happen to me?”
“i don’t know,” she admitted, her voice soft. “your portfolio is incredible, and your work ethic is unmatched. but sometimes, people don’t see that. they only see what they want to see.”
you leaned back in your chair, your chest tightening further. “i’ve worked so hard to get here,” you said quietly. “i’ve put everything into this job. and now you’re telling me that it might not matter because of who i love?”
her eyes softened, and she shook her head. “i’m not saying it doesn’t matter. it matters so much. and it’s not fair that you even have to think about this. i just want you to be aware of the risks so you’re not blindsided if something does happen.”
you looked down at your hands, your mind racing. “it’s just… i’ve spent so much of my life hiding who i am. i don’t want to do that anymore. i don’t want to pretend that hyun-ju isn’t important to me just because some client might not like it.”
“i understand,” she said gently. “and i admire that about you. truly. it’s not easy to live authentically, especially here. and i want you to know that i’m here to support you, no matter what. if anything comes up—if you ever feel like someone’s treating you unfairly—i’ll be in your corner.”
her words eased some of the tension in your chest, and you nodded slowly. “thank you. that means a lot.”
she smiled, her warmth returning. “hyun-ju seems lovely. i hope i get to meet her someday.”
“she is,” you said, your lips curving into a small smile. “and i think you’d like her.”
as you left her office, the knot in your stomach began to unravel. the conversation hadn’t been easy, but it also reminded you of why you were fighting to live authentically. for yourself. for hyun-ju. for the life you wanted to build together, no matter what anyone else thought.
#player 120 x reader#cho hyunju#player 120#cho hyunju x reader#player 120 x you#player 120 x y/n#cho hyunju x you#cho hyunju x y/n#squid game#round 6#squid game season 2#squid game 2#squid game netflix#squid game s2#hyunju#park sung hoon#hyun ju#hyun ju x reader#hyun ju squid game#hyun ju x you#hyun ju x y/n#hyunju x reader#hyunju x you#cho hyun-ju#cho hyun ju
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the fan spun slowly and lazily above my head. the sound of rain pounding on the window just beyond the blinds, while normally soothing, now only added to the sense of isolation. on my desk, strewn across it and the rest of the room, were cases. unopened, forgotten. a glass of liquor sat half filled on the only clear space on that desk, the rest having gone down my gullet and straight to my head. projects unfinished, my novel barely touched, life preventing me from continuing…
i considered, for a moment, locking the doors of the office for good. shutting it down and leaving this all to the rats. setting fire to the remains and walking off into the fog one last time. but then i thought about the cases. those people who needed my help, lost without their posts. it made me feel wrong for abandoning them in their time of need, like i was no better than the crooks who hid their posts away in the dark recesses of the city.
so the thought of what to do lingered in my mind, what to do, how to move forward. those cases sat on my desk untouched, my coat and hat unworn, and my whiskey cabinet nearly empty. the faces, the names of all those people i helped and all those i had yet to help. the service i provide is a necessary one, fight back against the evil of this city’s algorithm.
then i thought of my schedule crossed my mind. the old schedule of three cases per day was efficient, but unsustainable. but perhaps if i solved one post per day, this would be significantly easier to ensure the schedule can be maintained. a singular burst of motivation on one day per week would cover me indefinitely…
i stood from my desk, grabbed my keys, coat, and hat, and approached the door. was i really about to do this? was i about to make this call and reopen my office and offer my services to the world? my heart pounded as i slid my key into the lock. there was a hell of a lot of work to do, but dammit if it wasn’t worth it. to have purpose again, that’s what really mattered here. i turned the key, opened the door, and stepped outside onto the street.
the rain fell slower now, as if the heavens themselves could feel my spirits lift. the air was cool and brisk. fall was coming on fast. the paperboy came along to drop off the news when i called out to him…
“ay, boy! spread the word!” i said to him. “the Hellsite Detectice is back on duty…”
#i’m back!!!#did you miss me??#i hope so!#hopefully i’m here to stay#but we know how life can be haha#hellsite detective#hellsite detective ON duty
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HEAT OF THE MOMENT
Hi my writer name is mini, I used to write a lot of smut when I was younger but lost interest. But I’m back with a bang! I hope somebody enjoys this. This is my first post to this community and I’ve enjoyed what I’ve read so far! I don’t know how to set mine up too look as cool as everyone else’s :p.
Edit credit @ myself
Summary: Fem reader POV; You cause a scene at a local bar causing Officer Gojo to escort you off the premises. The reader is alluring, seductive and teasing him with lust. Causing Officer Gojo to then lose his composure and disregard protocol.
Warnings; rough, jjksmut ,gojosatorusmut ,NFSW , outdoor sex, authority-kink, creampie, nofluff , gojosmut, gojoxfemreadersmut, hair pulling, fingering, breast sucking.
Word count; 2k
The bar was alive with chaos—laughter, shouting, the clinking of glasses—but none of it compared to the scene you were making at the center of it all. You weren't even sure how it had escalated this far, but the combination of spilled drinks, a bruised ego from the guy you'd argued with, and the bartender's exasperation had turned a fun night out into something more... memorable.
"Miss, you need to calm down," the bartender said, his patience clearly worn thin.
You rolled your eyes, leaning on the counter with a playful smirk. "I'm calm. Maybe you're the one who needs to relax. How about a drink? On the house, perhaps?"
Before the bartender could respond, the door to the bar swung open, and in strode Officer Gojo Satoru. His presence commanded attention instantly—tall, broad-shouldered, and wearing an air of authority that clashed with the cocky smirk he wore so effortlessly. His uniform fit him a little too perfectly, and his white hair, pushed back in a carefree style, gleamed under the dim lights. He slid his shades down just enough to scan the room with those piercing blue eyes.
You froze for half a second, watching as he approached with a slow, deliberate stride. The murmurs in the bar quieted as he stopped in front of you, towering over you with an air of unshakable confidence.
"Miss. Y/N," he said, his voice calm but edged with annoyance. "I heard you've been causing some trouble."
You gave him your most innocent smile, tilting your head as you looked up at him. "Trouble? That doesn't sound like me. I'm just having a little fun."
His gaze was unamused, his smirk faint but sharp. "Yeah, well, your 'fun' just earned you a call to the police. So, either you come with me quietly, or we can make this a lot more complicated."
You couldn't resist pushing your luck. "Come on, Officer. You don't really want to arrest me, do you? You've got those gorgeous eyes, that perfect jawline—wouldn't you rather stay here and let me buy you a drink?"
The bartender audibly sighed, but Gojo didn't flinch. He leaned forward just slightly, close enough that you could feel the heat radiating off him, his voice dropping lower. "Flattery doesn't work on me, sweetheart. Try again."
"Oh, but you can't blame a girl for trying," you said, your grin widening as you let your eyes linger on him just a little too long. "What about a smile? Surely I can charm a smile out of you?"
Gojo's lips twitched, but he didn't budge. Instead, he grabbed your wrist gently but firmly, his grip unyielding as he straightened up. "That's enough. Let's go."
Your grin faltered for a moment as he pulled you away from the counter, his calm yet authoritative demeanor leaving no room for argument. Still, you couldn't help yourself. "You really know how to kill the mood, you know that?"
"You'll thank me later," he replied dryly, his voice laced with sarcasm as he led you through the crowd. His hand on your wrist was firm, but not harsh, and you couldn't help but admire the way he handled you with such practiced ease.
As you were escorted out of the bar, you glanced over your shoulder, tossing a playful smile his way. "So, Officer, do you do this for all the pretty girls, or am I just special?"
He rolled his eyes, though there was the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "You're definitely... something."
Once outside, he released your wrist but positioned himself squarely in front of you, his imposing figure blocking your escape. His shades were now perched on top of his head, those sharp blue eyes boring into yours.
"Listen," he said, his tone serious. "I'm going to give you one chance to walk away and go home. No more scenes, no more trouble."
You crossed your arms, tilting your head with a sly smile. "What if I don't want to go home? What if I want to stay out here... with you?"
His jaw tightened, and for the briefest moment, you thought you saw his confidence waver. But then his smirk returned, more smug than before. "Y/N, I've got more patience than most, but you're really pushing it."
You stepped closer, just enough to challenge him. "Or maybe you like being pushed."
His expression hardened, his voice dropping low. "This isn't a game."
"Oh, but it could be," you whispered, your voice dripping with mischief.
"Alright, Y/N," he said, voice low and steady. "Here's the deal. You're going to calm down, and we're going to the station. No more games."
You smirked, leaning your back against the cold brick wall behind you. "Games? I think you're the one making this more serious than it has to be. I was just having fun, Officer."
He stepped closer, his broad shoulders cutting off the light and casting a shadow over you. "Fun? You think dragging me out here in the middle of my shift is fun?"
You tilted your head, your lips curving into a playful grin. "I didn't drag you anywhere. You came all on your own. Besides, maybe you like this more than you're willing to admit."
His blue eyes narrowed behind his shades, which now sat low on his nose. "I told you to stop pushing me."
You shrugged, unbothered. "And I told you I don't think you'll do anything about it."
That was all it took. Before you could blink, Gojo spun you around and grabbed your wrists, pinning them above your head, pressing his body against your back with enough force to make your heart race but not enough to hurt. You could feel his member betray his non-intrested demeanor by rubbing into your ass. You could feel how deeply excited he was- even if he didn't want to admit it.
"I warned you," he said, his voice dangerously low, his breath hot against your ear. "But you just can't help yourself, can you?"
You met his gaze head-on, unflinching, your smirk still intact. "What can I say? I like seeing you lose control."
His jaw tightened, and for a moment, it looked like he might snap. But then he pulled back abruptly, releasing your wrists and stepping away as though the mere proximity was too much. He reached into his belt and pulled out a pair of handcuffs.
"You're under arrest," he said coldly, his voice hard and professional once more.
Your grin only widened as he spun you around, snapping the cuffs onto your wrists with practiced ease. "Aw, Officer, you didn't have to go to all this trouble just for me."
"Keep talking," he muttered, steering you toward his patrol car as he read you your rights.
He opened the back door and guided you inside, his touch firm but careful. As he climbed into the driver's seat and started the car, you couldn't help but notice the tension in his shoulders, the way his hands gripped the steering wheel a little too tightly.
The drive to the station started in silence, the hum of the engine filling the air. But you couldn't resist.
"So, Officer Gojo," you began, your voice lilting with amusement, "is this how you spend all your nights? Arresting harmless bar patrons and pretending you're not ridiculously attractive?"
"Y/N," he warned, his eyes focused on the road, his voice tight.
"What?" you asked innocently. "I'm just making conversation. It's not my fault you've got this whole 'hot cop' thing going on. You must get this all the time."
He didn't answer, but you caught the way his jaw clenched, his knuckles whitening as his grip on the wheel tightened.
You leaned forward as far as the cuffs and seatbelt would allow. "You know, you're kind of cute when you're pretending to be all serious. I wonder what it would take to make you crack."
"Stop," he said through gritted teeth.
"Stop what?" you teased. "I'm just talking. It's not like I'm doing anything wrong. You wouldn't pull over just because I said you had nice eyes, would you?" Gojo ignored you and you sighed with annoyance. You weren't going to give up that easily.
"Honestly the way you pressed me against that wall back there...made me kind of hot. You know...down there?" I spread my legs open slowly, unsure if he could see me do so but regardless they opened wide.
Officer Gojo remained silent, determined to remain calm and collected.
"So hot that when I go home tonight, and I touch myself, I might just think about that to get me off," you paused for a second. "Do you like the thought of that? Me all alone in my bed, circling my clit while moaning your name," you rolled your head back onto the head rest and jokingly moaned his name, "Ohh Officer Gojo, just saying your name makes me so wet."
That was the last straw. Without warning, Officer Gojo pulled the car to the side of the deserted road, the tires crunching against gravel as he shifted the car into park. He got out and made his way to the back door, opening it furiously, meeting your gaze with extreme frustration in his eyes.
"Y/N," he said, his voice low and rough as he leaned closer towards you through the door. "I've been patient. I've been professional. But you just don't know when to quit, do you?"
You smiled, unbothered by his sudden intensity. "Maybe I just like getting under your skin. Seems like I'm pretty good at it."
He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair before leaning closer, his face inches from yours. "Do you have any idea what kind of trouble you're asking for?"
"Trouble?" you echoed, your voice soft and teasing. "Is that what you call this? Because I think you're the one who's in trouble, Officer."
His gaze flickered to your lips for just a moment before he closed his eyes, as if trying to collect himself. But when he opened them again, all the restraint was gone. "You don't know what you're doing to me."
"Then show me," you challenged, leaning forward just enough that your lips nearly brushed his.
Officer Gojo groaned, low and guttural, before finally giving in. His lips crashed against yours with a desperation that sent a jolt of heat through your entire body. The cuffs on your wrists pressed uncomfortably against the seat, but you didn't care. His hands were on you—cupping your face, tangling in your hair, pulling you closer as though he couldn't get enough.
When he finally pulled back, his breathing was heavy, his forehead resting against yours. "You're going to be the death of me, Y/N," he murmured, his voice rough and raw.
You smiled, still breathless. "Well, at least you'll die happy."
His lips collided with yours once again, meshing together with ease, you slipped your tounge in and his eagerly fought yours for dominance. One of his hand slide down from your face and under your shirt, onto your breast, gripping it tightly before pulling back and pinching your nipple.
You moaned into his mouth as he played with your breast, the excitement building inside you began to pool onto your panties. His lips remained locked onto yours as his hand travelled south before hiking up your mini skirt, revealing your black laced thong.
He pulled back to observe you, his face flushed as he panted. "You're going to get me in so much trouble," his fingers slide over your aching core, making sure to stop and focus on your hardened bud with a few quick circles.
You eagerly bucked your hips into his hands, whimpering for more. "Fuck you're so fucking wet," he groaned, using his fingers to push your panties to the side before running his fingers between your slits again as you oozed onto his fingers.
His thumb traced your clit, sending shivers throughout the your whole body as you felt the crisp air meet your wet core. Exposed and open, the only thing you were worried about is how soon you could get Officer Gojo to fuck you.
"You're such a fucking slut," Officer Gojo panted huskily, "willing to give up your pussy just to avoid jail time," he smirked dipping a finger into you, causing a loud gasp to escape your lips. He hummed at the sound, "But if you let me fuck you like the slut you are, it might work out for you." Officer Gojo stated with a smirk, locking eyes with you.
Your head rolled back with ecstasy as you felt his fingers curl in an upward motion behind your cervix. His fingers were so fucking long and they were hitting all the right spots. You were a gasping, moaning mess, you gazed down to Gojo to see his eyes locked onto your pussy.
Watching as his fingers moved in and out of you with an urgency that signaled he was having just as much fun as you were. He looked up at your gaze, locking eyes with you.
His gaze was no longer cold and harsh, but filled with desperation and lust. He added another finger before he starting pumping into your pussy effortlessly. The cuffs were digging into your wrist behind you, it stung but you could care less- it honestly made things hotter.
He observed you as he finger fucked you into oblivion, the way his fingers curled inside you had you craving for more. You wanted him-no needed him inside you. You turned your gaze down to his crotch and saw how tight the fabric around his dick had gotten.
The sight of him made you moan out desperately, "I want you inside me, I need you to fuck me," you said, panting inbetween words. He chuckled at the sounds of your desperation, "and...why should I do that" gojo stated with a low seductive tone, slowing the pace of his fingers.
"Because I'm your dirty little slut," you say with a smirk on your face, locking eyes with him as you pull his fingers out of you and latch your mouth around them, licking them clean.
Officer Gojo groaned at the sight and quickly grabbed you out the backseat and slammed you against the car. He pressed his chest to your back as he pinned your arms on top of your lower back.
His hips bucked into your ass, aggressively grinding his harden cock against your rear end. All this foreplay had riled Officer Gojo up to the point he felt as if his cock would burst from the seams if he didn't relieve himself soon. He kissed your neck as he pulled down your skirt and panties in one swift movement.
You heard his belt unbuckled and Officer Gojo undo his zipper rapidly. You went to turn around and greet his member but he roughly pushed you against the car. "You stay right there and look pretty while I fuck the shit out of you," he sternly stated, you nodded your head like a good girl.
He bent you over before spreading your legs, you felt him line his tip up with your aching core. He slapped it against your harden clit, causing you to hiss with desperation. You were so sensitive down there, however, you couldn't help but crave for more. He teasingly slide it between your slit, back and forth slowly before plunging deep into you.
You didn't get a chance to see his dick before it entered you but by the way it filled you up told you everything you needed to know. Officer Gojo moaned loudly as he entered you, taking his time with the first few strokes. Embracing the feeling of your tight, wet pussy griping all around his cock. It was almost too much for him to handle.
He began pounding into you with no mercy, the sound of skin clapping echoed as it blended with the sounds of the crisp breeze and eerily silence of the night. Officer Gojo was unfolding right in front of you, and you couldn't help but join him- fucking him had me ecstatic.
"Fuck your pussy is so tight baby," Officer Gojo cooed as he gazed down, watching his dick slide in and out of you. He bit his lip in admiration, " and it looks so fucking good on my dick." He slapped your ass harshly while thrashing into you, you gasped at the sudden movement but quickly became the moaning slut gojo had turned you into.
He took a handful of your hair and pulled you back, finding ways to penetrate you in ways you have never imagined. You could hear Officer Gojo attempting to restrain himself from moaning loudly, whimpers left between his parted lips. The sounds drove you absolutely insane, you didn't take him for a whimper but you were loving every second of it.
"I can't believe you convinced me to do this to you," gojo stated, slowing his flow and pumping at a slow rate. "If you weren't such a desperate, needy fucking slut, I could be home by now." You moaned quite my as he fucked you through his lecture.
"But instead you have me in the middle of nowhere, losing my mind over how fucking good your pussy feels," and just like that gojo went right back to pounding you with no mercy. He needed to feel every inch of you, better yet- he needed to fill every inch of you.
You don't know how but he found a way to fuck you faster, even rougher, at this point no noise could espace your lips as he had fucked you into another dimension and you could barely process how good his dick felt inside you. You felt a familiar knot building in your lower abdomen.
"If you keep fucking me like that, I'm going to cum," you said breathless. A light clicked in Officer Gojo, his cock twitched in response. "Go ahead baby, be a good slut and cum all over my dick as I fill your pussy up," he was also breathless, he voice slightly cracking.
He pounded roughly into you until your pussy grasp and pulsated on his cock, triggering for him to spill every drop of cum inside you. It felt good, it felt amazing cumming on top of him as he filled you up. You were convinved there was no better feeling than fucking officer gojo.
He stepped back and pulled himself out of you, tucking his member back into his underwear and redressing. You turn to look at him, your face covered with red and beads of sweat. A smirk lacing your lips,
"So officer Gojo, are you still going to arrest me?"
-
HOPE YALL ENJOYED! MORE TO COME!
#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo smut#gojo x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru#jjk smut#jjk gojo#gojo satoru smut#gojo x female reader#heavy smut
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It’s not a perspective. Cait and Vi didn’t have different goals in that scene. Also, not every scene that sets up joining forces has to literally spell out that’s the intent of the scene. I honestly don’t get your insistence that everything be spelled out for you like you’re a child.
I’m also clearly going to have to explain foreshadowing to you. Foreshadowing is a literary and story telling device that is used to plant an idea in the reader’s/viewer’s mind for later. Introducing the idea that Piltover and Zaun had joined forces before was placing that idea in the viewer’s head.
You are very much reaching with your analysis of Ambessa just being there to raise tensions. You seem to not grasp how stories develop. In interesting, multifaceted stories like Arcane characters don’t show up with a moist ache to twirl indicating evil intent. That doesn’t mean it’s bad storytelling for them to become the major villain. That’s good storytelling, actually. That said, someone familiar with tropes and story structure could easily predict that she was going to become the new big problem.
Again, you keep acting like every bit of setup had to be super explicit in spelling out the two sides were going to fight together and that, if it didn’t it means that wasn’t the plan. That’s not how writing works. You’re supposed to be able to put all of the pieces together.
That said, they pretty explicitly showed where the use of hextech could lead without nuance in the second episode, so acting like that wasn’t set up as a major threat frankly feels intellectually dishonest. Sure, at the time we maybe thought Heimerdinger was being an alarmist, but everything that happened with hextech from that point forward drove the plot more toward that point he warned about. Even when they spell things out for you as clearly as they can, you don’t want to see it.
As for agency, season two was very much the “find out” part of “fuck around.” What happened with Viktor was a result of his dangerous experiments with hextech. If he hadn’t done that, Jayce wouldn’t have been able to use the hex core to heal him. Him and Jayce going their separate ways was the consequence of Jayce weaponizing hextech. The anomaly was the consequence of Piltover overusing hextech. Ambessa’s ability to take over was the consequence of Jinx blowing up the council. Season two was where characters had to deal with the consequences of the choices they made in season one.
None of these consequences were forced. Yes, they had big fantasy/Sci Fi fallout, but that’s because the show is Sci Fi/fantasy. That tends to be what happens in the genre. You could easily replace the implications and fallout of hextech with nuclear power or similar technical advancements that created massive problems in the real world, and an imperial power like the US, or Noxus in the show, taking advantage of social and political division in a smaller country to try to control its land and resources is a common refrain throughout history.
You’re right, the arcane isn’t the main focus. The main focus also isn’t the political strife. Both are devices used to tell the story of the characters. The show is not about Piltover versus Zaun. The show is about how that conflict has shaped the characters. Feel free to read my other posts on the subject.
Not sure wha t your Warwick point is. Yes, he is there to retraumatize Vi in the end. Yes, his agency is taken away. That would be the tragedy right there.
As for Mel continuing the cycle, that’s up for interpretation, I guess. I think the cycle she’s specifically breaking there is the one where “Medarda’s only take.” She ended the cycle where her family raises itself up by taking from others.
Your argument against the acceleration rune doesn’t make sense because the device that could only be made with it was Ekko’s which was, in fact, the difference. Pointing out how everything else is the same actually hurts your argument there.
Also, a big lipped alligator moment is something that comes completely out of nowhere and serves no purpose. Neither of those describe Viktor and Jayce. Do they have to explain the exact mechanics of what happened? Would stopping to go into some technobabble have made the show better? Because we always pay close attention to characters doing that in media right? We’re really in it for the made up technobabble.
Your desire for the show to end in a civil war makes it neither better writing nor what the show initially intended. You like to reference what actually happened in the Jayce Silco scene to try to say it wasn’t foreshadowing (again, because I can only assume you don’t know what foreshadowing is)? What did Jayce say would happen if they actually went to war with each other? Zaun would have been crushed. Yes, it would have been a blood bath on both sides, but a Piltover army with hextech and the Noxians would have either won or would have claimed victory and been dealing with insurgent attacks from Zaun for the foreseeable future.
There would be no reconciliation at all unless the show wanted to really abandon one of the ways it was most grounded, which is how violence and vengeance feed each other. There’s a reason why, after most revolutions and wars throughout history, the country is drawn into another war pretty quickly after. One conflict breeds another.
There’s a reason why regions like the Middle East are seemingly caught in endless cycles of violence—because people don’t generally forgive losing a war easily, because wars are costly in lives and resources, and because generational traumas and wrongs often come back to haunt us. Even if the war ended with a miraculous agreement on both sides to lay down arms, there will be people who lost family who will still want justice—to feel that their loved one’s death meant something.
If, however, people’s loved ones died fighting together, that’s a powerful reason to try to make a positive change. Because, again, people want the sacrifice to mean something. It supposedly partly why Britain and other European countries established services like the NHS after WWII. After living through the Blitz and the destruction, it made them want to create a better future.
You keep complaining that the show largely drops the class conflict story after episode four, and that would be a problem if that was what the show was about. However, given the show is about the characters and episodes five and six are mostly about bringing Jinx and Vi and Vi and Caitlyn back together, it made sense to narrow the focus back down to that family unit. The conflict is still there in the background—it’s in the tragedy of Vander, Silco, and Felicia. It’s in the fact that Noxus and Piltover feel entitled to take Vanwick, but it’s not the focus.
I’m honestly not a huge fan of episode seven, because I’m not a huge fan of TimeBomb, but that was an interesting take on what else could have helped bridge the divide between Piltover and Zaun—the tragic loss of a child and the loss of the technology that further drove Piltover and Zaun. The episode is about the class conflict in the sense that it introduces a world mostly without it, showing that, just like it’s possible to have “good” versions of Jinx/Powder, it’s also possible to have a works where Piltover and Zaun have peace. That was the lesson Ekko took away from his AU adventure, to not give up on a better world—that things aren’t “too far gone.”
I also find your point about Jayce not talking to Viktor weird…you do get that he wasn’t really in his right mind there, right? We also can’t say for sure what would have happened if he hadn’t shot him. Maybe the fallout would have been worse. Maybe Viktor would have made more followers so that there were even more dolls when it came to a head. But, again, Jayce wasn’t in the mental state to have a rational discussion right then.
The conflict does come back in the last two episodes because it is somewhat a question of whether or not Zaun will help—which would be Piltover suffering the consequences of its actions. Now, you’re right, arguably the question would be what choice did they have in the end, but that’s again honestly true to many real life conflicts. You’re stuck working with the lesser of two evils.
As I said, what would have been completely unrealistic would have been if everyone hugged and kissed and had a huge barbecue together with fireworks after the Noxians left. We know from history that old prejudices often return once the battle is over—take how Black soldiers were treated in the US after…I was going to say WWII, but really every American war.
I also honestly can’t help other people deciding Sevika being on the council is supposed to be a resolution instead of a first step. It was clearly not framed as a resolution with everyone sharing mistrusting looks and her looking, frankly, uncomfortable. If people decide to be obtuse and not read the overt visual language of the show, that’s a them problem.
And guess what? The show isn’t about class conflict. Yes, it’s an essential element, a major theme, and vital context. It is not what the show is about. Just like unchecked scientific progress is a theme, but not what the show is about.
You bring up what Silco said about the cycle continuing. My point is not about how all violence will always and forever be no more; it’s about how these specific characters are breaking their cycles. Again, this show is about the characters first, which is why it makes sense that they didn’t solve class inequality in a year. It’s about these characters and their stories.
Really, though, much of this conversation has strayed from the original point, which is that this was the direction that was set up in the first season. You may not like it. You may have wanted it to go another way. But it was, in fact, set up. The memory Heimer has of the horrible fallout from Arcane is essentially what happened. They deliberately planted the seed (which, again, is the purpose of foreshadowing—not explicitly stating what’s going to happen next, that’s just exposition) that the thing that originally brought the cities together was a common enemy. They had this conversation one episode after Ambessa, a war monger from an imperialist nation, was introduced.
Even if the show did what you wanted and went with a civil war, there’s a very good chance it would have developed into Piltover and Zaun versus Noxus anyway. Cait/Jayce would be trying to stop the war on Piltover’s side, but Ambessa would refuse to give up the fight and leave with nothing. This would have caused Noxus to turn on Piltover, and then it would have been up to Zaun to either help or let them take each other out first and then fight the survivors. Maybe that would have been better. I personally would be asking, “Hey, what happened to the existential threat posed by hextech that was also being built up in the first season?” But maybe you’re fine with dropping the whole “arcane” bit of arcane.
“What happened to rebel Vi? Season 2 destroyed her character!”
“What happened to rebel Vi” is that Vander took her to the bridge where her parents died in his revolution and asked her what she was willing to lose. Then she meets Cait who is gentle and kind while still being tough and it makes her rethink how she sees topside. When Jinx tells her she changed too, that’s what she’s talking about.
I’m sorry if you thought Vi was going to be a topside-hating revolutionary in Season 2, but that’s clearly not where her character arc was going. Remember how she forced her way between Ekko and Cait? It seemed very straightforward that was the role her character was taking on.
I feel similar about people who act like the show was betraying its premise because it ended with reconciliation/Zaun and Piltover working together. Again, the fact that two of the most important relationships were between characters from both sides and that they made a point of talking about Zaun and Piltover first coming together against a common enemy was a pretty clear indicator that was the plan.
Now, I get being annoyed that that was what they chose to do. You don’t have to love the creative decisions of media, just like media doesn’t have to compromise its creative direction to satisfy you. But not liking that they went that direction is not the same as the show having bad writing or engaging in character assassination.
Everything Vi did in season 2 was very much in character with how she changed and who she became throughout Season 1. Hell, she used enforcers and Hextech to raid Shimmer facilities before Commander Kiramman ever threw on a beret. So, yes, actually wearing the uniform was a huge and complicated decision that she was definitely not happy about, but it also fell in line with what she had been doing.
There’s meat for another post at some point about the three different Zaun/enforcer partnerships we see in the show: Vander/Greyson, Silco/Marcus, and Cait/Vi; but I’m not going to go into that now.
TLDR: “Rebel Vi” who wants to fight all of topside hasn’t existed since the end of the second episode of the show.
Editing to add that Vi doesn’t see attacking Chem Barons as attacking Zaun; she’s taking down the people who are destroying Zaun.
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LITTLE DARK BUT jinx x reader following the pregnancy but reader miscarries (maybe the zaun conditions or just overall stress idk) but yeah
OMG, I actually love this request. It was interesting to make.
"I don't want to be here anymore"
Jinx x Pregnant!Reader
WARNINGS: MISCARRIAGE!!!!!! If you do not like that then please leave.
WC: 2106
NOTE: set in Arcane Season 2, Episode 3. This is kinda a follow up from my post "Two pink lines"
PT.2
Jinx had never been good at sitting still.
She was always moving, always fidgeting—hands twitching, foot tapping, mind racing. The quiet got too loud otherwise, and she didn’t like what it had to say.
But now?
Now, she wished the world would stop moving.
She wished you would stop moving.
Your hands rested on your belly, rubbing circles into the stretched fabric of your shirt, as if you were already comforting the tiny life inside you. Jinx’s fingers twitched, her chest tightening as she sat on the edge of the bed, watching.
It still didn’t feel real.
Not the baby. Not you.
Not the way you looked at her like she wasn’t broken, like she wasn’t dangerous.
Like she was something worth loving.
You turned to her then, smiling so soft, so easy, like you weren’t carrying something that could change everything. “Jinx, baby, you’re staring again.”
Jinx blinked, realizing she had been, and forced a smirk. “Can ya blame me?” She flopped onto her side, propping her chin on her hand. “You’re all glow-y and shit. Kinda hot, not gonna lie.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “Yeah, well, you’re gonna have to get used to it.” You gestured to your belly. “It’s only gonna get bigger.”
Jinx’s stomach did something weird then—something she couldn’t name, something that made her fingers tingle and her heart race.
She reached out, hesitating for half a second before laying her hand over yours.
“I like ya like this,” she murmured, voice quieter than she meant it to be. “Like… ours.”
You covered her hand with both of yours, holding tight. “We are.”
Jinx swallowed hard, something like panic rising in her throat. She covered it with a laugh, sharp and teasing. “‘Course, now I gotta make sure you don’t go gettin’ yourself in trouble. Wouldn’t want ya droppin’ my kid in some sketchy alleyway, yeah?”
“Oh, so now it’s your kid?”
Jinx grinned. “Yeah, and it’s already cooler than any kid.”
You snorted. “Jinx—”
“No, listen, it’s got me as a mom. That’s an automatic win.”
Your laughter was the best sound in the world, and Jinx clung to it like a lifeline. She didn’t tell you how scared she was.
How the idea of loving something this much terrified her.
How she wasn’t sure she could survive losing it.
ׄ 𓂂 ઇ⠀⠀⠀ ׅ ⠀⠀⠀ ♡ ⠀⠀⠀ ׅ ⠀⠀⠀ઉ⠀⠀𓂂 ׄ
Jinx knew something was wrong the second the air shifted.
Her grip on your hand tightened, sharp eyes flicking up toward the vents lining the alley. She didn’t like being out here—too many people, too many ways for things to go sideways—but you had begged. Just a quick trip, you had said.
And Jinx?
She couldn’t say no to you.
She never could.
But now—
Now the air was wrong.
Then you coughed.
Jinx’s head snapped to you, eyes wide as you hunched over, gripping your stomach.
And then—
Then you collapsed.
“No—no, no, no, NO!”
Jinx was on her knees before she even realized she had moved, hands grabbing at you, gripping, shaking—too limp, too pale, too quiet—
The air smelled wrong. Thick. Chemical.
Jinx’s blood ran cold.
She knew this smell.
Shimmer.
No—no, not Shimmer. Something worse.
Something new.
Her heart pounded as she looked up, and she saw it.
Green gas, curling from the vents, creeping along the streets. People were dropping like flies, bodies hitting the pavement, gasping, choking, some not moving at all.
Jinx barely heard the orders being shouted.
The Enforcers.
She saw the uniforms. The guns. The masks.
And in front of them—
A familiar figure.
Vi.
Jinx’s stomach dropped.
Vi did this?
Something sharp and white-hot exploded in her chest, mixing with panic, with fury, with something so deeply broken she couldn’t name it.
Vi—her sister—the one who had promised to keep her safe many years ago, the one who had left—
She had done this.
Jinx barely had time to process it.
Because you?
You weren’t moving.
She snapped back to you, hands shaking as she grabbed your face, tilting it toward her. “Baby—hey, hey, stay with me, okay? Look at me, c’mon, please—”
Your eyelids fluttered. Your mouth opened, but no words came.
Then your body seized.
Jinx’s breath caught.
Her world cracked.
“No—”
She scooped you up, legs already running, ignoring the Enforcers, ignoring the gunfire—she didn’t have time for this, she didn’t have time—
She had to get you out.
Had to get you safe.
She didn’t care that she was bleeding. Didn’t care that she could hear Vi shouting something behind her.
Didn’t care that the green smoke was still in her lungs.
She ran.
ׄ 𓂂 ઇ⠀⠀⠀ ׅ ⠀⠀⠀ ♡ ⠀⠀⠀ ׅ ⠀⠀⠀ઉ⠀⠀𓂂 ׄ
Jinx had never known silence could be so loud.
The room was spinning, her chest heaving, her fingers numb.
You lay in the bed beside her, so still, so pale, your breath coming in ragged gasps.
She had done everything she could—cleaned you up, wiped the sweat from your forehead, whispered frantic reassurances into your skin.
But nothing changed the fact that when you finally spoke, your voice was broken.
“Jinx…”
She was on you in an instant, hands gripping yours, her face so open, so raw with desperation. “I’m here—I’m right here, baby—”
Your fingers curled weakly around hers.
The world outside didn’t matter. The pain, the fear, the horror of what had happened—it all blurred into nothing as she kept you pressed against her, her fingers tangled in your hair, her lips whispering shaky reassurances against your skin.
She didn’t know how to fix this.
Didn’t know how to take away the fear in your eyes, the tremble in your hands, the way you kept pressing against your belly like you were waiting for something—anything—to tell you everything was okay.
But then—
You inhaled sharply.
Jinx’s grip on you tightened. “Baby?”
Your eyes widened. Your fingers twitched.
And then—
A kick.
Barely there. Faint. Soft.
But real.
Your breath caught in your throat. Tears welled in your eyes, but this time.
This time, they weren’t from fear.
Jinx sucked in a shaky breath, her hands flying to your belly, pressing down gently, waiting, praying—
And then it happened again.
A flutter.
A sign of life.
Jinx let out a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob, her forehead pressing against yours, her entire body shaking.
You let out a choked little giggle, covering your mouth, tears slipping down your cheeks. “They’re okay,” you whispered. “Oh my God, Jinx, they’re okay.”
Jinx could barely breathe past the lump in her throat.
She didn’t know how.
Didn’t know how to process the sheer relief, the overwhelming love, the way she had never felt more terrified and more alive all at once.
So she just kissed you.
Hard. Desperate. Like she was still trying to convince herself you were real.
When she pulled away, her voice was hoarse, her eyes burning.
“You scared the shit outta me.”
You sniffled, laughing weakly. “I scared myself.”
Jinx let out a breathy chuckle, her forehead knocking against yours. “Yeah, well… don’t do it again.”
You wrapped your arms around her, burying yourself into her warmth, into her safety.
And for the first time since the gas—
Since the panic, the pain, the unknown
It felt like maybe, just maybe—
Everything would be okay
ׄ 𓂂 ઇ⠀⠀⠀ ׅ ⠀⠀⠀ ♡ ⠀⠀⠀ ׅ ⠀⠀⠀ઉ⠀⠀𓂂 ׄ
Jinx had never been good at feeling safe.
Not really.
But when you were around—when your fingers brushed through her hair, when your lips pressed against her forehead, when your hands cradled the small swell of your stomach—it felt close enough.
She could almost pretend that nothing bad would happen.
That you’d both get to be happy.
That your baby—her baby—would get to have the life neither of you had.
She let herself believe it.
Let herself dream of it.
Let herself think—just for a second—that she wasn’t cursed.
That she wasn’t meant to lose everything she loved.
ׄ 𓂂 ઇ⠀⠀⠀ ׅ ⠀⠀⠀ ♡ ⠀⠀⠀ ׅ ⠀⠀⠀ઉ⠀⠀𓂂 ׄ
Jinx woke up to silence.
Not the kind that meant safety. Not the kind that came after a long day, curled up beside you, tracing patterns on your skin.
The kind that made her stomach twist.
The kind that meant something was wrong.
She reached for you—only to find the bed cold.
Her breath caught.
Then she heard it.
A sound so quiet, so broken, that it made her heart stop.
A gasp.
A choked sob.
Coming from the bathroom.
Jinx was on her feet before she even realized she was moving.
The door was locked.
“Baby?” Her voice was tight, shaking, already knowing—already knowing.
No response.
Another sob.
Jinx’s chest squeezed.
“Hey, c’mon—open up,” she tried again, knocking harder. “You’re scarin’ me.”
Still, nothing.
Just more crying.
Then—
A whimper.
So soft, so weak.
Jinx’s stomach dropped.
She kicked the door open.
And what she saw—
The world stopped.
You were on the floor, crumpled, half-clothed, knees pulled to your chest.
Your hands—covered in blood.
The floor—covered in blood.
So much of it.
So much.
Jinx’s breath hitched, her heart slamming against her ribs, her whole body locking up—
Then you looked at her.
And it broke her.
Your lips trembled. Your chin wobbled.
And then, barely above a whisper, voice cracking—
“Why is there so much blood?”
Jinx couldn’t move.
Couldn’t breathe.
You were shaking, staring down at yourself, hands smeared with red, fingers twitching like you were trying to understand—like you were still waiting to feel something move inside you.
Jinx fell to her knees.
“Baby—”
Your breath hitched.
Your body jerked forward, arms wrapping around yourself, fingers digging into your skin like you could hold yourself together if you just tried hard enough.
Then, the realization hit.
Jinx saw it happen.
The exact second your entire world broke.
Your whole body tensed.
Your lips parted.
Your eyes filled with tears.
Then—
A sob.
Loud. Choking.
You gasped, hands shaking violently as you reached down, pressing against your stomach—searching, begging, desperate to feel something.
But there was nothing.
Nothing.
And that was when you screamed.
Jinx felt something in her shatter.
You clawed at your belly, fingers curling into the blood-stained fabric of your shirt, pulling, gripping, gasping—like if you just held tight enough, you could keep what was already gone.
“No—no, no, no, no—”
Jinx grabbed you.
Held you.
Tried to make herself real.
Tried to keep you from slipping away.
But you thrashed against her, sobbing so violently that you couldn’t breathe.
“It’s gone,” you choked.
Jinx squeezed her eyes shut. “Baby, please—”
“It’s gone,” you sobbed harder, chest heaving, fists pounding against her.
She took it.
Took every hit, every cry, every shattered plea, because she deserved it.
Because it was her fault.
Because she should have stopped you from going out.
Because she should have noticed something was wrong.
Because she should have protected you.
Because she should have saved them.
Because the baby—your baby, her baby— was now gone
Your body collapsed against hers, trembling, arms wrapping around her so tight, like you were trying to crawl inside her, disappear inside her, be anywhere but here.
Jinx rocked you, held you, kissed your temple, muttering, pleading, whispering how sorry she was.
But sorry wasn’t enough.
Sorry wouldn’t bring them back.
Sorry wouldn’t stop the way you sobbed into her shirt, fingers gripping her so hard it hurt.
Sorry wouldn’t stop the way your voice broke when you whimpered,
"I don't want to be here anymore"
Jinx froze.
Her grip on you tightened, breath shuddering, heart slamming against her ribs.
“No,” she whispered, voice barely holding together.
You buried your face in her chest, crying so softly now, so defeated, like something inside you had finally given up.
Jinx pressed her lips to your forehead, eyes burning.
“No, baby,” she choked, voice cracking. “Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that.”
But you just curled deeper into her arms, breath ragged, body wrecked with grief.
Jinx held you like she could keep you here.
Like she could stop you from slipping away.
Like she could pretend that when you finally stopped crying, when you finally fell into an exhausted, hollow sleep, that everything would go back to the way it was.
But it wouldn’t.
It never would.
Jinx knew that now.
Because the worst part?
The part she couldn’t say out loud?
She didn’t know if she had lost just the baby.
Or if she was losing you too.
not my usual content
I want food
#arcane x reader#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#x reader#x y/n#x you#jinx arcane#jinx#jinx league of legends#jinx lol#jinx x reader#powder#arcane#arcame
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Do you know the trend where if you have a significant other in the military you say they can’t come into your house but amendment 2 or 3 which say “ no quartering of soldiers without consent”
That with cyclone or Bob
All Shook Up - Bob x Reader
Word Count: 1.0k
Summary: After seeing a trend where military spouses tell their loved ones they aren't allowed inside under the 3rd Amendment, you decide to play a prank on your sweet, returning husband Bob—that is until you get the words out, and he reacts in the only way Bob knows how.
Warnings: fluff, domesticity, husband! Bob, very mild accidental hurt/comfort.
Authors Note: This idea is so funny to me! I'm already working on Beau's version, and I'll definitely be posting that soon.
Read on AO3
The sun had just begun setting when you put your plan into motion. Grinning to yourself as you set dinner to cook in the oven, you check out the kitchen window for any sign of Bob's car. Your husband had been away on a training exercise all week and had just called you thirty minutes ago stating he was close to home.
Minutes later as you spare the driveway another glance, you see Bob climb out of his car, duffle bag slung over his shoulder. You couldn't mask your almost childish excitement as you left the kitchen and trod over to the door. Even after the years you'd been together you never got over just how handsome he was. But today you had other things in mind.
You hear the soft thud of his boots on the porch followed by the jingle of his keys before the door opens.
"Honey I'm home," Bob calls out just as you appear.
His brow furrows when you don't answer, instead just standing and watching him without an ounce of your expected warmth.
"Honey?" He tries again, "Is everything all right?"
You let another long second pass, his brows furrowing, before you answer.
"Oh, yeah," you say casually, "you just can't stay here."
Bob's eyes instantly widen behind his glasses. His gentle gaze fills with a look that is somewhere between confusion and heartbreak.
"I..What?" He questions.
You clear your throat, initial plan shattering but doing your best to follow through with your prank in light of his expression, knowing it'll be easier to explain in the end when you're both—hopefully—laughing.
"It is my right as an American citizen to exercise whatever rights I have the liberty of holding--including the third amendment of the United States Constitution, no quartering of soldiers and related military personnel without consent," You say, still standing in the entryway opposite Bob and the half open door.
Bob blinks, expression leaning more towards the confused end of things. For a second it looks like he's about to say something, only to remain silent. He glances at his hand still holding the doorknob, then over his shoulder outside before slowly— slowly —backing out and closing the door all without a word.
You let the silence hang for a second before you yourself grow confused. You had expected him to laugh or maybe fight back, or...really anything except actually leave . Yet as you're left standing there, your first instinct is to chase after him.
Crossing the distance and pulling the door open, you see him about to get back in his car.
"Bob!" you call out, earning a hurtfully hopeful glance back over his shoulder from the man, "I'm just messing with you!" you continue.
Bob's gaze drops and a brief flash of regret goes through you. He looks genuinely bewildered, as if he's going back through and cataloging months and years' worth of interactions to figure out where all this was coming from.
With a sigh you close the door behind you and step off the porch, padding softly down the steps until you're close enough to wrap your arm around the waist of your hopelessly sweet husband.
"I promise, It's just a prank, Bob," you reassure his worrying mind, "I thought it'd be funny, not that you'd just…”
You trail off, gesturing vaguely at everything as a brief flash of knowing crosses his eyes.
"Oh," he says after a long pause, brows still furrowed but tone far less tense, "I was so confused."
He returns your embrace, setting his bag on the ground and slinging an arm gently around you.
"I thought maybe something happened I didn't know about."
You can’t help but let out a soft laugh as you look up at him.
"You thought I'd kick you out over something you didn't even know?” You ask incredulously.
"Maybe If I forgot an anniversary or didn't text you goodnight–" He stammers, raising his free hand to rub the back of his neck, "I don't know what you think is worthy of invoking the constitution over, but it felt serious."
By now a soft blush has risen onto his cheeks and you can't help but place a kiss there, his flushed skin warmed under your gentle touch.
"You are too sweet for your own good, honey," you muse with a laugh, "You thought this was it? Really?"
"Well, I...It sounded serious!" He defends again with a bashful smile.
You can't help but laugh again, looking up at him in near warm-hearted wonder.
"You're always welcome to quarter here, or anywhere else I stay, for that matter."
Bob lets out a breath of relief, whatever tension was still held in his body leaving as your words provide the last bit of reassurance he needs.
"I...really didn't want to sleep in the car.”
You pat his back with a laugh and guide him up the steps and back inside before closing the door behind you both.
"Welcome home honey," you try again, a hint of joking still in your tone, "A place you'll always have a bed."
"Good to know," he chuckles softly, "Please, don't scare me like that again."
"I promise," You smile, pulling him in for a proper kiss this time, "I'll make it up to you."
"Yes please," he sighs, only to be distracted by the smell of roasting chicken coming from the kitchen.
"You...made dinner?" He asks gently, always so surprised by the little things even when they're a part of your daily routine.
"Of course I did. Can't have you going hungry, now, can we?"
Bob blinks then nods faintly in agreement.
"Good, go get changed while I finish up down here."
At that Bob practically melts in your arms like he does every time he comes home, never more relaxed than he is in your presence—even if it's your attempt at a prank that shakes him up to begin with.
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#bob floyd#bob floyd x reader#robert bob floyd#bob x reader#top gun x reader#bob imagine#top gun imagine#top gun#top gun maverick#top gun maverick x reader#top gun fanfic#top gun maverick fanfiction#tgm x reader#tgm fanfiction#tgm fic
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#critical role#yea#and tbh? these are mostly western white queers#not esxclusively because we def have this type of people here in eastern europe as well. but the whole thing is very western#(not to derail the post but most of attempts to see some charackers as fantasy polish were. uhm. not good. which is very in line with#western fandom way of microdosing on *other cultures*. pick some aesthetic level things and not ask anyone from said culture for input)#(there were some subtle ones that were fine! but most was. like. firstly. why) @gendertrickery (moving this from the post about centering white queer (and frequently middle class & western) experiences above all
GOD what a mood; obviously I am also western, white, queer, and middle-class but I've had a wild (negative) time as a Jewish person in fantasy fandom spaces my entire adult life, with people interspersing posts based on surface-level misinterpretations of Jewish culture they've headcanoned (rather than like. seeking out Jewish characters in other works) and fighting harder against goblins and the word "phylactery" than like, real-world antisemitism. I still think about how one of the people in this fandom who is quickest to claim everyone else is a bigot not only did various character nationality posts seemingly without input but has an entire headcanon involving the most basic Spanish error that literally anyone familiar with Spanish on any level would have noticed.
It really does feel like a lot of people want the appearance of being accepting of diverse experiences but refuse to accept anything that challenges their personal perspectives and hate that this is a contradictory set of desires, and so they only engage through headcanoning characters who aren't sufficiently like them as more like them (often by making characters who are not explicitly textually queer, queer) or characters who are already like them (again, often by being queer) as belonging to other cultures without ever exposing themselves to a variety of perspectives coming from that culture - when they do actually talk to someone it's usually someone they already mostly agreed with and often someone who is fairly westernized. I am genuinely wary around anyone who gets super into headcanons and defensive thereof because while on the surface it's harmless, a lot of them use headcanons as ammunition to prove they are open-minded without ever having to open their mind.
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The fact that you posted this on my birthday made me squeal with glee!
My first thoughts were of the way Dieter had taken care of me in every way possible after the show. He brought me home, made an amazing dinner, and ran a hot bath as he promised. He joined me in the tub, massaging my neck, shoulders, and back as he his lips trailed behind his hands - managing to get me completely relaxed and turned on in the process. He followed that with a scalp massage as he washed the product from my hair before rinsing with the handheld sprayer. I offered to wash his in return since it still had all of the gel in it from the show, but he refused, instead drying me off and sending me to bed while he jumped in the shower.
He really is an acts of service love language kind of guy, isn't he? His desire to give the care which he himself has lacked is so adorable
He really was putting in the effort to experience all forms of intimacy, always looking out for me and taking care of me in ways that Alec had never even tried.
Asshat Alec! Such a douchebag. 😒
Even as my brain shouted at me to slow things down, my body craved him.
Kat is all of us, and we are Kat!
He smiled and nodded against the pillow, “So good. It’s so much better with you here.” I felt my heart flutter as his chocolate eyes danced around my face. I could see that strange look there again, like he wanted to say something but didn’t.
Both of them just need to say it. Acknowledge that it has happened fast and that they need to be careful, but stop dancing around the subject (pun fully intended) 😂
He continued, “I’ll get a new number, OK? I was thinking about doing it anyway because I’m pretty sure one of my dealers texted me the other day…I blocked him…just so we’re clear.”
I love that his first thought is to get a new number and not try to just explain it away. That is a lot growth from Dieteer, pre-rehab pre-Kat Dieter wouldn't have done that.
A soft curl fell down over his eyes as he glanced down to place his hands and began strumming a bluesy intro. His demeanor shifted, seeming almost melancholy as he began to sing.
🥹
That song is so perfect for Dieter, it made me really emotional.
He lifted his head, pressing it against mine as he hugged me just a little tighter. “Thank you for coming. I needed this…needed you.”
I love that they are so in tune with each other.
There was no question about it now, I was in love with him. It ran deeper than it ever had with Alec or anyone else. The realization caused my heart to race as the anxiety set in. Was this too fast? Too soon? We’re either of us really ready for this?
Is it too fast? Probably.
Is it too soon? More than likely.
Are they both ready for it? Absolutely!
“I think I should maybe tell you why I had such a strong reaction to the Alec thing…it’s sort of the root of everything…why I am the way I am…”
😭
It explains so much. My heart aches for him.
I love that Evan has been there for him from the beginning though.
Things were definitely evolving between us, yet again. After the events from earlier in the day, I could tell something had changed. It was like all of the broken pieces of our being were slowly falling back into place and somehow converging into one. With every new piece that found its place, our connection steadily grew. Part of me questioned if it was real or just being overblown and intensified by the circumstances we found ourselves in. I hated to think like that, but it was something to consider.
Dont over think it Kat. Just let it happen. You both need it, and you need each other.
He huffed as he mumbled out a gravelly, “Fine.” Then he turned, snuggling Zee instead. “Guess I’ll just cuddle my other cat then.”
She stood with her hands on her hips as she looked me up and down, “I thought he was done bringing hussies home?”
I love Cora instantly. No nonsense is precisely what Dieter needs to keep him in line.
She sighed, “Kat, seriously?” She paused and rubbed at the crease between her brows as she continued, “So there is something to that TMZ article then? Please tell me he at least fucked some sense into you and made ya realize that Alec was a shitty lay?”
🙌🏻
I feel like Lydia and Cora would get along famously.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. There’s nothing wrong with it, woman. You don’t have to have freshly cooked protein with every meal.”
You've spoiled her, there's no going back now. She's a queen and will only accept queenly meals.
Omg he did the foot thing!
He reached up to brush a stray hair away from my face as he took me in, “You know…I wouldn’t be upset if every night for the rest of my life ended like this…with us together…you make me happier than I ever thought possible.” He kissed the top of my head, seeming to sense my anxiety, then leaned his cheek against it as he spoke, “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that…I wanna take things at a pace you're OK with. I don’t want you to feel rushed. I mean it when I say you’re important to me and…I don’t wanna fuck this up.”
Get out of your head Kat. Just let him love you the way you deserve. It will heal you both.
There was no question about my feelings for her. I knew I was in love, but did the intensity between us mean she felt the same about me?
She does, she'll get to the point where she can tell you, just keep doing what you're doing.
“What do they mean when they say SuccDee? Is that a dirty plant joke? I don’t understand the context.”
That made me cackle so hard.
This fact was sort of blowing my mind as I peeked over at Zee, the mention of her name rousing her from a deep sleep. “Damn Zee, I wish you could talk. I wanna know what they say…Maybe I should talk to them more?”
Oh, we need to have Kat sneak up on Dieter while he's talking to the plants!
Zee chose that moment to paw a glass that was still about one fourth of the way full of water off the coffee table, which broke our spell and the glass.
Zee is getting so naughty. I can't decide if she's feeling a bit put out that her parents are paying each other more attention than they are paying her or if she now feels completely comfortable and at home and this is the real Zee, Mischief Maker #1.
She snorted, “My plants are lucky to get water. They come to my house to survive, not live.” I shook my head and scoffed out a laugh, “That’s just depressing. Don’t tell me that. Imma have to start checking in on them.”
Hmmm, how long until those plants relocate to Dieter's house?
I hadn't recovered from reading the beach/kitchen scene in the teaser!
I shrugged even though he couldn’t see me, “I kind of don’t care. I’m going with it. I’ll head it off and do a cryptic Instagram post. Besides, it might be fun to fuck with Stacia and Joe some. I wanna see their heads explode when they realize their fairytale showmance isn’t happening after all.”
Bahahahahahaha! Stacia will be devastated 🤣
I chuckled, “Ahh, filling up the spank bank then. I’m flattered.” I gave her a cocky grin and waggled my eyebrows, “If you want some nudes all you have to do is ask. I might even let you take them yourself.”
I posted it. There was no caption, only emojis, “👉👌🤯🤯🤯😏”
He's such a menace.
As I was finishing up with Zee’s gourmet meal, Kat came into the kitchen. Her brows furrowed as she pointed her finger to something behind me and busted out her best mom voice, “Zee, don’t you dare.”
Zee is so naughty, she gets that from her daddy.
I gave him my new number, then he sent me a text message so I could save his to my contact list. That was a development I wasn’t expecting, but I was strangely happy about it.
This made me emotional. He's growing his circle and finding friends. I love this for him 🥹
Marc seemed extremely interested in this, leaning forward with excitement in his eyes, “That’s amazing. I was actually considering doing the same. I still haven’t decided if I’m gonna do another season or not…but I did want to look at something like that when I’m finished. Maybe we can team up.”
That sounds like such an amazing idea. I think it would work well for all involved.
They definitely fucked, at least once. Nobody pay attention to that vibrating sound… This is how pornos start. I’m not mad about it. So, IT IS a throuple then? I think Dieter’s secret lady likes to watch. I don’t blame her…Kat’s ass is a work of art. I’m still calling it a conspiracy. Kat is the beach chic. I know that ass and those thighs.
The Dieterina stans are definitely not buying their little ruse.
We need more friendly get-togethers like this, while Dieter and Kat are building their little family at home, they are also building their community.
That song is so perfect for Dieter and Kat, I'm so glad you liked it 😘
Marc was still chuckling as he said, “I’m sure Stacia and Joe are gonna have a lot to say about that.”
Hahahahaha, Stacia going to be trying her damndest to figure what is going on and what she can use for ratings.
I don’t think I paid a lick of attention to anything the judges actually said. All I know is we got another perfect score, putting us in first place - again.
As if they could be anywhere else. It has to be killing Alec that they are doing so well.
I 100% blame Mr. Pascal for his holiday beach antics.
It's like he knew you needed a little something to get you going 😂
Dieter and Kat are getting pretty close. They are completely embedding each other in the other's life. All of Dieter's people know now and Kat's sister knows. Dieter is pouring his heart out and sharing about his past, yet Kat is still in her head about everything. Do we smell drama brewing there?
I feel like at some point Kat is going to have a wobbly moment and try to shut Dieter out, and he's going to have to do his damnedest to coax her out of her spiral.
They've also made some new friends. How are we feeling about Marc and crew? Good or bad?
I love that they are making friends. It's good that they have support against Alec, Stacia and Joe.
Dieter has started his Instagram live shit. More to come on that. Also...his Instagram posts, that man is stirring up all the drama with those. Good or bad idea?
I loved his Live. It could be a good outlet for him, as long as people keep their peace in the comments. He's not going to stand for any disrespect of Kat from anyone.
Closed Position: Week 7 (Paso Doble)
Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist Dieter Bravo x OFC (Katarina)
Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition, Dancing with the Stars, would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble.
Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on the show to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo.
Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.
Chapter Word Count: 28.5k (I went off the rails again.)
👉 Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence (not by or toward Dieter), past alcohol abuse, and past drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.
👉 Chapter Warnings: Dieter and Kat both being a menace, smut, fluff, angst in the form of discussions about childhood trauma (including homophobic comments)
Chapter Quote: “I actually meant what I said earlier…I’m bending you over the counter and fucking you when we get back to the house.”
Kat’s POV When I awoke on Tuesday morning, my body felt strangely satiated after the previous evening's exploits. My mind, however, was swirling with more thoughts and emotions than I could process. My first thoughts were of the way Dieter had taken care of me in every way possible after the show. He brought me home, made an amazing dinner, and ran a hot bath as he promised. He joined me in the tub, massaging my neck, shoulders, and back as he his lips trailed behind his hands - managing to get me completely relaxed and turned on in the process. He followed that with a scalp massage as he washed the product from my hair before rinsing with the handheld sprayer. I offered to wash his in return since it still had all of the gel in it from the show, but he refused, instead drying me off and sending me to bed while he jumped in the shower. I didn’t even bother to get dressed, choosing to collapse into the fluffy duvet completely naked.
I was lying stretched out on my stomach when Dieter came out of the bathroom and crawled up my body, continuing where he left off as he massaged my thighs and hips for several minutes. He eventually moved upward, peppering kisses along my spine until he reached my neck. I tilted my head to give him better access as he rubbed his patchy beard against my skin. The length of his body pressed against mine, which made it obvious he was aroused.
His teeth grazed my earlobe, causing me to moan and arch my ass upward into him. He nipped and sucked at my neck as he pressed his hard length against me. My hand found its way to the hair at the top of his head, tugging slightly as I told him I needed him again. He wasted no time, positioning himself at my entrance and slowly sinking in. He covered my body with his, pinning me to the bed as he began his steady, but slow rhythm. After propping himself up on his left elbow, his hand found mine and entwined our fingers together, squeezing it tightly. His right hand roamed my body before finding a home under my chin, tilting my head back so he could give me an upside-down kiss on the lips.
As things got more intense, I collapsed, face down into the plush bedding as he continued to lavish my neck and shoulder with attention from his mouth. My fingers tangled in his hair again as I turned my head to search for his lips. After a passionate kiss, he pulled away and rested his forehead against the side of my temple. We stayed like that for a time, inhaling each other's breath and getting lost in the sensations that our bodies were creating as we moved as one.
It was almost foreign to me, how he could make any position feel that intimate. It didn’t matter if we could stare deeply into each other's eyes or not, I could still feel the connection with him. It was there in the way he touched and held me. Our bodies communicated in ways I had never experienced - using all the senses to bond us together. I surmised that it had to be because of the way that we spent our time together, building something that I couldn’t really understand or explain.
The past week with Dieter had been strangely domesticated. It was full of homemade meals and lots of cuddling. He stuck to his word about keeping this thing between us as something more, not always turning to sex for a connection. He really was putting in the effort to experience all forms of intimacy, always looking out for me and taking care of me in ways that Alec had never even tried. I hated him doing so much, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Even when things would get heated between us, he would keep his focus on me and expect nothing in return. Always being perfectly satisfied with a good cuddle and head scratches.
However, after all of our incredibly intimate moments, I still felt like he was holding something back. I could see it in his eyes, often swimming with some sort of emotion. I didn’t want to push him because I knew he would open up eventually. I did sometimes worry that he was hiding something that he thought might upset me. For as connected as we were, it still felt like parts of him were a mystery.
Those thoughts didn’t seem to dampen my need to be near him though. The one night I went home to rest because I wasn’t feeling well was strangely lonely and unsettling. I didn’t get a lot of sleep, having thoughts of Alec sneaking in under the cover of darkness and choking me in my slumber definitely didn’t help. I hadn’t felt that anxious since the incident, now realizing it was because of Dieter. He was keeping those fears away without even trying. They were gone as soon as I reunited with him. When I went to his house the following night, I fell asleep without a worry in the world because he was there with me.
I did appreciate Dieter’s need to focus on intimacy outside of sex. We managed a whole week without it, but after all the closeness of the week and the fire that blazed between us during our Argentine Tango performance, I couldn’t hold out anymore. I shocked myself when I suggested we fuck in the dressing room. That was one thing I had never done even though Alec tried to initiate it multiple times. I was always too worried about getting caught. It was different with Dieter though. He was slowly waking something up inside of me that I didn’t recognize. The way I craved him had reached a boiling point and I couldn’t fight it anymore. I wanted him in every way he would let me have him.
I had never really been a fan of rough sex in the past, but as with everything else, it was different with Dieter. There was the connection between us of course, but he was also passionate. He somehow managed to turn it into something else, full of emotion and sensuality. It was a lot to process and to be honest, the sheer aching need that I had for him was scaring the hell out of me. He was quickly becoming an addiction for me. The way he made me feel confident, desired, and cared for was all the things that I had been missing, and it was thrilling. Even as my brain shouted at me to slow things down, my body craved him. After fucking in the dressing room, I still needed more.
As his body moved against mine, his scent completely engulfed me - making me feel intoxicated by him. My skin was tingling from his affectionate touches, my lips burning from his passionate kisses, and my heart skipping beats from whatever this emotion was that was taking over my very being. His soft sighs and deep groans against my ear sent shivers down my spine and had me coming undone underneath him in no time. He followed soon after, nearly collapsing on top of me before moving to the left, still half draped across my body.
His hands ghosted over my skin as he placed the occasional kiss on my shoulder, eventually dozing off for the night after flipping the duvet over us. That was how we still found ourselves this morning, his steady exhales blowing against the base of my neck, causing my skin to break out in goosebumps. I could feel the weight of Zee laying across my feet, both of them cocooning me in warmth. Everything about it felt so right, yet a little voice in the back of my head still questioned it. It was almost too good to be true.
Dieter stirred, nuzzling his face further into the crook of my neck as he inhaled deeply and hugged me tighter against him.
My sleep filled voice greeted him, “Good morning.”
He sighed as he kissed my shoulder, “Morning, beautiful.”
To Zee’s dismay, I turned over to face him. She grumbled as she got situated again. We both snickered at her before turning our attention back to each other. I could partially make out a crease down the side of his face from laying on the blanket. I smiled as I ran my finger along it. “You sleep well?” I finally asked.
He smiled and nodded against the pillow, “So good. It’s so much better with you here.”
I felt my heart flutter as his chocolate eyes danced around my face. I could see that strange look there again, like he wanted to say something but didn’t.
I cleared my throat, “You ready for another production meeting this morning?”
He rolled his eyes, inhaling deeply before answering. “I don’t see why we have to meet with them every week. Can’t they just send that shit in an email?”
I chuckled, “They could…but then they couldn’t be nosey and try to make drama for the show.”
“Ugh, such bullshit. Why can’t they just let the show be about dancing?”
I gave him a tight smile, “That’s not how they get high ratings.”
Dieter's phone rang on the nightstand, ruining our morning chat. He sighed, turning to grab the shrilling device and finding his agent’s name flashing across the screen. He pressed ‘answer’ and brought it to his ear, “You should know better than to call me this early in the morning, Lenny.”
I could hear a deep chuckle on the other end of the line, “Sorry to call you so early, D…but we have a potential issue. There are rumors circulating that there was a serious altercation with you and Kat’s ex last week. Is there any truth to that? Does that have anything to do with the schedule changes?”
Dieter puffed air out of his cheeks as he glanced over at me. He had obviously kept his agent in the dark about that.
“There was…a minor incident. He attacked Kat and I pulled him off her. They did change our schedules around so that Kat doesn’t have to be near him.”
“Damnit Dieter…can you please stay out of trouble? You’re on the upswing right now…”
I could tell Dieter was frustrated as his jaw tensed. “Sorry Len, but I’m not gonna stand by while someone close to me gets mistreated. I’m sure the public can understand that.”
Lenny sighed loudly into the phone, “Fine…you’re right. I’ll get Janine on it and see if she can put out the fire. If you get any questions about it, don’t answer them. Maybe it’ll go away. I’m told there are some pap pics of the guy though…and his face is busted up. So, I’m not sure if it will.”
Dieter’s brows furrowed, “Is he saying anything about it?”
“No, it’s mostly speculation I think…but they know for sure there have been schedule changes. It’s TMZ, you know how they draw conclusions about shit.”
Dieter nodded, “Yeah, well…my lips are sealed. I’m confident Janine can handle it as long as that douchebag isn’t running his mouth. I’m sure he doesn’t want people to know about it anyway.”
The call ended soon after that as it was time for us to get ready for our production meeting. It wasn’t long before we found ourselves sitting in front of our two favorite people, Stacia and Joe. They were unusually pleasant, making small talk and checking in with me to make sure I was doing ok, and that Alec hadn’t been out of line since they had apparently had a conversation with him after our last meeting. Stacia, of course, complemented our last performance, making a point to mention how great our chemistry was on the dance floor. She was fishing for anything she could get her hands on, but we gave her nothing. We politely thanked her and redirected our conversation to this week's performance.
I had to bite back a groan when Joe gave us our dance for the week, the Paso Doble with a traditional Spanish style song called Uccen. It was definitely going to wear me out. I had a feeling Dieter would enjoy it since the dance was more focused on the man’s performance, but I could already envision him whining about how tired he was.
They handed over the costume sketches, putting us both in all red again, which wasn’t unusual. Black and red were pretty typical looks for this dance. My costume had a Spanish feel to it with layers of fabric that bunched up in the back. It was shorter in the front and very flowy. It had a halter top with the same flowy fabric draped to cover the necessary areas, leaving the back completely open. They had Dieter in a red suit with a textured button up shirt. After approving the looks, we were pretty much done with the meeting. I was thankful this one was drama free. I did not need my day ruined by them.
After the meeting, we continued our tradition of grabbing lunch together. We settled on a small cafe nearby. The staff seated us on the outdoor patio, so we made sure to be on our best behavior because there were eyes everywhere. We were even approached by a few fans to take pictures and happily obliged. Dieter was all smiles as he interacted with them, seeming perfectly at ease while I was still trying to get used to having this much attention from strangers. He seemed to sense my anxiousness, smiling gently as he reached over to give my hand a quick squeeze after they left us.
(More after the graphic.)
We were off to the dance studio for rehearsals after that, beginning the week like we always did, by listening to our song. Dieter’s head bobbed along with the fast-paced Spanish and mediterranean style guitars mixed with folk undertones. It was obvious this would be different from anything we had done thus far.
Once the music concluded, I clapped my hands together dramatically, “Ok, Bravo. You’re probably about to love and hate this dance.”
His brows furrowed, “Why?”
I huffed out a laugh, “Because it’s dramatic and fun, but it’s also gonna wear your ass out.”
His brows arched as he gave me a wide-eyed stare, “I mean, you do that already.”
I rolled my eyes and fought a smile as I stood from where we were seated on the floor, then pulled him up to join me.
“So, the Paso Doble comes from sixteenth century Spain and France. It literally translates to ‘double step’ and it’s very high energy and very…theatrical…meant to imitate a bullfighter and his cape. You would be the matador in this instance…the star of the show. I need you to have strong posture and emote power with your body and facial expressions. I’ll be your cape, with more graceful and fluid movements at times. We’re gonna be doing sort of a marching style rhythm with staccato footwork along with that. Like I said, it’s fun…but tiring.”
Dieter gave me a tight smile, “Can we look at some videos of this before we get started? I feel like that might help get me going. I have a feeling what I’m envisioning ain’t it.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at him. At least he was honest. He went into full work mode after that, studying each video I pulled up for him. After an hour of video watching and making notes on some things that stood out to us, we got started on the basics. He picked those up quickly, allowing us to begin planning our choreography.
As predicted, Dieter was gasping for air and whining about being exhausted before the rehearsal time was over. Not that I could blame him, I was too. And it was only the first day. He was doing amazing though, and I made sure to tell him as much. I knew he would enjoy the theatrics of this dance which helped make up for how much work was involved.
We basically crashed when we got back to his place. After seven and a half hours of going non-stop, we were spent. We barely had the energy to eat dinner and shower before climbing into bed early, tangling ourselves up together and zonking out for the night.
We started our Wednesday morning off with Dieter receiving a text from Janine, his publicist. It was a link to a newly posted TMZ article.
I watched as he leaned across the kitchen island and scanned the article. His eyes crossed as he let out an annoyed groan and passed the phone to me.
(More after the graphic.)
Dieterina Spotted Getting Cozy During Lunch After Alleged On-Set Drama Dancing with the Stars (DWTS) fan favorites Dieter Bravo and Katarina Stamos were spotted having lunch at a LA cafe yesterday. Witnesses say they seemed very cozy and touchy during their meal in between posing for pictures with fans. This sighting comes after rumors began to circulate about a possible altercation between Dieter and Kat’s ex, professional dancer Alec Balaska, after last week's live show. If you recall, Dieter and Kat set the ballroom ablaze with their sultry performance and intense chemistry during their Argentine Tango, which earned them a perfect score for the week. It’s easy to see how that could have caused tensions to rise backstage. We have no confirmation that Dieter and Kat are officially an item, but they definitely seem to be getting close. TMZ sources have not confirmed the altercation took place, but we can confirm there have been schedule changes that appear to have happened in an effort to keep Dieter and Kat separated from Alec as much as possible. It must also be noted that Kat did not dance with the same group as Alec during last week’s professional performances, which could help back those claims. Alec was spotted out and about in LA with his DWTS partner and new love interest, Lana Thompson, earlier this week. He appeared to have bruises on his face but gave no response as to how he got them. His reps refused to comment. We reached out to Dieter’s publicist who also refused to comment on the situation.
Included with the article were pictures of Dieter and I at the cafe. There were several with his hand resting atop mine as he smiled my way. There were also several zoomed in stills of our Argentine Tango performance along with an embedded video and pictures of Alec and Lana seated in Alec’s car.
I sighed, “They really will post anything for clicks, won’t they?”
Dieter nodded, “Yep, bullshit…as usual. For all they know, he could have fallen on his face during rehearsal. It’s plausible…I’ve done it enough to know.”
I chuckled, nodding in agreement. Just as I was about to hand Dieter’s phone back, a text popped up. There was no name, only a number. I felt my stomach drop when I unintentionally read the message.
646-333-4545: It was nice bumping into you. Call me, so we can get together. I do miss having your mouth on me. 😉
I slid the phone toward him as I tried to control my breathing, “Umm…you have a text.”
He picked up his phone, brows furrowing in confusion as he read it. “I have no idea who that is…I’ve not bumped into anyone.”
I watched as he swiped, then selected ‘block’ on the screen.
I didn’t say anything, but my face must have. When he finally looked at me, I could see the worry in his eyes.
He began shaking his head as he approached me, “I swear I don’t know who that is…maybe that actress from New York? I haven’t bumped into anyone besides her…I didn’t even have the number saved. I-I’ve been getting a lot of texts like this since SNL…people trying to hit me up to party. I’ve blocked them all, you can check. Maybe I just need to get a new number…I deleted everyone I didn’t need to talk to when I got out of rehab. I swear…”
The longer he rambled, the more panicked he sounded. I took a deep centering breath, realizing I needed to give him some leniency. It was obvious he didn’t have the number saved, and that bitch had been pushy.
He continued, “I’ll get a new number, OK? I was thinking about doing it anyway because I’m pretty sure one of my dealers texted me the other day…I blocked him…just so we’re clear.”
I gave him a tight smile as I reached to cup his cheek, “Hey, it's OK. I believe you.”
He visibly relaxed into my touch, “I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think I’m doing shady shit, because I’m not. I won’t do that to you.”
The rational part of my brain finally caught up to my emotions. We've spent ninety-five percent of our time together since we got back from New York. I would have noticed something if he was talking to other people. He was rarely on his phone, and when he was, I was usually at his side looking at it with him as we watched funny videos together.
I pulled him in for a hug, “It’s OK. I have no reason to think you’re lying.”
He backed away, “Imma text Evan right now actually…and have him take care of all that. I want zero doubts.”
And he did text Evan after that. I never would have asked him to change his number, but the fact that he offered and got right on it did make me feel better. Alec never would have offered. It was another reminder of how completely different they were.
Dieter made sure to take a few minutes to apologize, cuddling on the couch before I had to leave for the professional's dance rehearsal and him for his weekly therapy session. By the time I walked out the door with promises to meet up with him at the dance studio for our evening rehearsal, the whole incident was an afterthought.
The professional’s dance rehearsal definitely had a new vibe. I could tell other cast members were looking at me differently - curiosity maybe? I tried not to pay them any attention, allowing Marc to distract me from it when we weren’t receiving instructions. He and Stefanie both had become allies in this whole mess. Given that they knew what actually happened, I had to respect that they were keeping the information quiet while not so subtly choosing a side. Marc had mentioned that people were asking him what he knew, but he refused to comment. He really was a good guy, I hadn’t given him enough credit for that in the past.
Once we wrapped up rehearsal for the day, I made my way over to grab my water bottle. As I took small sips, I picked up my phone to scroll through the missed notifications. I had a text message from my sister asking why she hadn’t heard from me and telling me to call her. Since I had been spending all of my free time with Dieter, I had pretty much gone radio silent with her. I shot her a quick response, promising to call her the following day since we had a late rehearsal.
I was silently debating if I should tell my sister about my relationship with Dieter as I moved on to the Instagram notifications. My brows furrowed when I came to the notification that said, ‘bangingbravo1 was live (45 min ago)’. Well, that’s new.
I quickly collected my things, telling Marc goodbye as I made my way to the car. After tossing my bag into the back, I sank down into the driver’s seat, pulling my phone out as I closed and locked the doors. My curiosity was making me anxious to see what Dieter was up to since this wasn’t something he normally did. I wasted no time opening Instagram and clicking the notification. He was no longer live, but the video was posted to his story.
It appeared that he was sitting in the same spot he had been in when he and I played guitars together all those weeks ago. His black acoustic sat perched on his lap as he briefly fiddled with the camera. He then proceeded to strum and tune the instrument for a short time before glancing up and smiling, welcoming his growing number of viewers. He took a few minutes, answering questions that popped up - some about Zee, some about his plants. Someone must have asked about me, causing him to smirk as he explained that I was at dance rehearsal for the professionals, noting that he and I would be rehearsing later in the day. Then he cleared his throat, getting to the reason for going live.
“So…I’ve been getting a lot of messages and comments asking me to do more playing and singing. I hear you…so, we’re gonna give this a try and see how it goes.”
A soft curl fell down over his eyes as he glanced down to place his hands and began strumming a bluesy intro. His demeanor shifted, seeming almost melancholy as he began to sing.
This song has two very different versions and I love both. Give them a listen. 🎶Version 1 🎶 Version 2
When the sins of my father / Weigh down in my soul / And the pain of my mother / Will not let me go / Well, I know there can come fire from the sky / To refine the purest of kings / And even though I know this fire brings me pain / Even so, And just the same
His voice was full of emotion and grit as his unblinking eyes fixed on something just out of frame. He sounded soulful, but there was an edge of pain to the lyrics as they appeared to have deeper meaning to him. I knew him well enough to know that he was feeling the words, seeming to dredge up old memories or feelings. It had me wondering what he had discussed with his therapist that morning, because I knew he didn’t pick that song at random. Music was an outlet for him. It meant something.
All seed needs the water / Before it grows out of the ground / But it just keeps on getting hard / And the hunger more profound / Well, I know there can come tears from the eyes / But they may as well all be in vain / Even though I know these tears come with pain / Even so, And just the same
His line of sight drifted, appearing to focus on nothing as he took on a far-away look. A deep crease formed between his brows, his eyes turning somewhat glassy as he belted out the next verse. I had never seen him like this, but I knew that look all too well from experience. He was reliving something from his past. Something painful that had potentially shaped him into the man he had become - both the old and new version of himself.
And let the clouds fill with thunderous applause / And let lightning be the veins / And fill the sky with all that they can drop / When it's time to make a change
As he finished out the song with the last few refrains of the chorus, I realized tears were streaming down my cheeks. Every hair on my body was standing on end as my flesh pebbled from the sound of his voice. I could feel it in my soul. The connection that he and I seemed to share only made me feel it that much deeper. I couldn’t recall anything ever having affected me like this before.
After the last lyric left his lips, he inhaled deeply to center himself. He sat silently for a beat, then his eyes flicked up to the camera. They were pools of emotion as he gave a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He was obviously reading the flood of comments filling the stream. Then he finally spoke.
“You all are too kind…it’s more than I probably deserve.”
He paused, swallowing thickly as he continued to read the comments. He nodded, “I’ll uhh, yeah, I’ll do another live soon…thank you.”
After saying his goodbyes, the stream ended. I had to take a moment to pull myself together. We were supposed to meet at the dance studio for rehearsal in an hour and a half, but I couldn’t wait. Something told me that I needed to go to him. So, I did.
When I got to his house, I knocked and rang the doorbell, but there was no answer. Figuring he was still upstairs and maybe couldn’t hear it, I tried the doorknob. To my surprise, it was unlocked. So, I let myself in and headed toward his sanctuary.
I found him with wireless headphones on, slouched back into the chair and lazily strumming the strings on his guitar. He still had that vacant far-away look in his eyes as he stared at nothing. My movement in the doorway must have caught his attention because his eyes snapped toward me as he paused his motions.
His brows furrowed as he pulled the headphones off, giving a small smile as he asked, “What are you doing here? I thought we were meeting at the dance studio?”
Moving toward him, I could tell something was off. He looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and I hated it. As I stood in front of him, our gazes met. He sighed, then placed the guitar back on its stand next to the chair and set the headphones on the floor beside it. His eyes met mine as he worried at his bottom lip with his teeth.
“Are you OK?” I finally asked.
His shoulders slumped as he leaned back in his seat and scratched at his patchy beard, now avoiding my gaze.
“No. But I’m gettin’ there. One day at a time…”
My feet carried me forward as I reached to run my hands through the top of his messy curls. He sighed as his arms found their way around my waist, pulling me to him so he could rest his head against my chest. I needed to be closer, shifting so that I could raise first the right, then the left leg to straddle his lap. He hugged me tighter as he buried his face into the curve of my neck and inhaled deeply. I could feel him relaxing more and more with each breath that he took.
He lifted his head, pressing it against mine as he hugged me just a little tighter.
“Thank you for coming. I needed this…needed you.”
My nose brushed against his, “You have me. Tell me what you need from me.”
He shook his head, “I…I don’t know.”
My right hand moved to his chest. I could feel his heart thrumming away under my palm as his eyes pooled with tears and his breathing became shallow. He seemed lost. I needed to bring him back and ground him to the present.
After extracting myself from his embrace, I stood, taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom. I pulled him into a deep kiss, eventually breaking away to slowly undress him and trail soft touches and kisses along his body. His hands explored every inch of newly exposed skin as I undressed myself next. Once we were bare, I led him to the bed where we both lay down facing each other. He pulled me against him, tangling limbs together as we held each other. His face found its way back to the curve of my neck as he took deep and steady breaths to calm himself. I cradled his head against me, gently running my fingers through his fluffy curls to soothe him.
We stayed like that for a time. Strangely, it didn’t feel sexual at all. Yet, it had to be one of the most intimate moments I had ever experienced with another person. He was showing me his vulnerability, sharing his pain with me as our bare skin touched from head to toe - allowing ourselves to be connected physically and emotionally without judgement. The intensity of it was scary but also mixed with a strange feeling of relief and security. It was a hard feeling to wrap my head around as I tried to stay present for him.
Once his breathing settled to normal, he pulled away to meet my gaze with a serene expression. His eyes danced around my face as his hand glided up and down the side of my body. I would give anything to know what was going on in his head at that moment. The way he was looking at me caused the air to crackle around us. It felt like there was something he wanted to say, but instead, he leaned forward and captured my lips with his. It was slow, passionate, and needy.
We melted into each other, further deepening the connection that I currently felt humming between us. As I moved against him, touching and tasting his skin, I could feel his hardness growing and rubbing against my center. He groaned into my mouth as I began to grind against it, coating his length in my arousal. He wasted no time shifting so that he was between my thighs and sinking in to the hilt as he caged me in between his arms. His hips didn’t move, but he continued to kiss me deeply as I hugged him tightly.
Several minutes passed before we broke apart. His hips finally began their painfully slow thrusts as we got lost in each other's eyes. This didn’t feel like it was about the sex for him. Maybe it was his way of staying grounded in the present. Or, perhaps it was about strengthening whatever bond was forming between us. Maybe it was even a little bit of both. There were definitely some strong emotions swirling around us as we moved together. It was almost overwhelming, causing my chest to tighten and tears to prickle at the corners of my eyes.
There was no question about it now, I was in love with him. It ran deeper than it ever had with Alec or anyone else. The realization caused my heart to race as the anxiety set in. Was this too fast? Too soon? We’re either of us really ready for this?
Dieter seemed to sense the shift in my thoughts, reaching to run his fingertips down the side of my face as he nudged his nose against mine. It helped calm me some but did nothing to dampen the sudden and intense rush of emotions I was feeling for him.
The languid pace in which he was moving drew out how long this all lasted, but it felt right. We were completely lost in each other, causing the world around us to blur and cease to exist. It was the slowest build to a release that I had ever experienced. When I finally fell over the edge, it was intense and euphoric, seeming to go on forever. I felt like I was floating and the only thing keeping me tethered to this plane was Dieter. He followed behind me soon after, unable to hold it back as my walls contracted around him. He pressed his forehead against mine, his eyes clenching shut as he spilled into me with a deep groan that turned to quiet whimpers with the last few thrusts of his hips.
He sighed heavily against my lips, clearly savoring the high he was riding after his release. I peppered small kisses around his face as I brushed back his sweaty curls. His dark eyes finally opened, meeting mine before capturing my mouth with his. He broke away to catch his breath, both of us still gulping for air as we took each other in.
He eventually shifted to lay facing me as I turned toward him. His hand slid around my waist to pull me closer. We were nose to nose when he finally spoke, “I think I should maybe tell you why I had such a strong reaction to the Alec thing…it’s sort of the root of everything…why I am the way I am…”
I took a deep breath, “Ok…but I don’t want you to feel like you have to. Only tell me if you want to…and if you’re ready.”
He nodded, “I want to…I think it’ll help you understand me a little better…and…my therapist thinks I should tell you too.”
I gave him a small smile as I reached to scratch at the scruff on his cheek, continuing to lazily rub in circles as he began to speak.
“I…didn’t have the best childhood growing up. My dad…he was an asshole. I can’t remember a time when he didn’t abuse my mom, but it got progressively worse over the years. I couldn’t tell you how many times I sat with her or tried to take care of her after he bloodied her up. I remember always feeling helpless when I was younger…I wanted to protect her, but I couldn’t.”
He paused, sighing heavily as he reached for my hand that was still rubbing at his scruff and entwined our fingers to rest on the bed between us.
“Of course, that was when she still cared about life…about me. At some point she started drinking…which ultimately made things worse with him. It got to the point where she stayed wasted all the time and didn’t really seem to care about anything. By the time I was a teenager, I was pretty much taking care of myself. My dad left me alone for the most part, until I started interfering with their fights…trying to protect her.”
He swallowed thickly as his eyes turned glassy, “I thought…maybe if I could protect her…that I could get her back…matter to her again. You know what I mean? I just felt so alone…abandoned even…just existing. It only made things worse though. My dad no longer held back from directing his anger at me and it just seemed to push my mom further away.”
He scoffed as he squeezed my hand a little tighter, “Hell, there were times I think she was happy he was taking it out on someone besides her.”
I could see the pain that realization caused him as a deep crease formed between his brows. He stared, unblinking, at our intertwined hands as he continued.
“When I was in high school, I joined the drama club. For once, I had several close friends. That’s when I realized my sexual preferences…varied…and I started exploring my preferences within that group. Anyway, there was this one guy I spent a lot of time with. It wasn’t serious, but we had a thing. I guess someone saw us together at the mall and we were obvious about it. Word got back to my dad, and he absolutely lost his shit over it. No son of his was gonna be like that. He called me every slur you can think of while he tried to ‘beat the gayness out of me’. That was one of the times I snapped on him. I got in a few good hits, but he still beat the hell out of me.”
The tears finally spilled down his cheeks. He sniffled a little before he continued.
“It was pretty bad…and the sad part was…my mom couldn’t bother to care. She didn’t check on me once. After spending a day in bed and feeling like I was dying, I managed to drag myself over to Evan’s house. I lied and told everyone I got mugged. His mom ended up taking me to the ER…I had a concussion and a couple of broken ribs. Of course, all my parents cared about was the astronomical hospital bill.”
It was my turn for tears now. My heart was breaking for him. I squeezed his hand tighter as I gave him a sympathetic look.
He sighed and finally met my gaze, “It got pretty unbearable after that. I couldn’t stand being at home. My dad was constantly belittling me and saying things that made me feel like I was a dirty abomination. My mom even said she was disappointed in my behavior at one point...I think that’s when I really started to hate myself. I didn’t feel like I was worthy of being loved or happy…I started having some pretty dark thoughts.”
He paused briefly, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he considered what to say next.
“Eventually…Evan’s mom took me in after she figured out what was going on. She helped me through the emancipation process so they couldn’t have control over me anymore…but the damage was done. I had already started self-medicating with alcohol…and after I got my big break in Hollywood with money to burn, the slow spiral started. Honestly, I’m not even sure how I’m still alive after some of the shit I’ve done.”
“What made you finally wanna change things?” I asked.
He shrugged, “After my third overdose, my agent gave me an ultimatum…either get sober or I was done. None of the studios wanted to work with me anymore because I was a liability…and by that point Evan had quit working for me. He was tired of my shit. I was also damn near bankrupt. Everything just sort of converged and blew up on me at once. So, I took that last stint in rehab seriously. I had sort of an epiphany about getting my life together and wanted to learn how to be happy…exercise the demons out of my life. Somehow, I found a way to do it, but it’s still a struggle some days. Sometimes I get triggered and wanna go back to that dark place…but I’m slowly learning how to cope with it. I’ve found new ways to channel that energy into something positive.”
I suddenly felt a wave of anxiety hit me, realizing that the drama with Alec had been a trigger for him. I felt like shit over it.
“I’m sorry that I involved you with the Alec stuff. I didn’t realize the sort of effect it was having on you.”
He shook his head, “No, it’s ok. I was worried about you more than anything. I didn’t want you to get hurt…or lose yourself to him. I wanted to keep you safe…and the fact that you gave me a chance…trusted me with that…it meant more to me than you realize.”
I sighed, “But when you found us in the dressing room, I could see it. It did something to you beyond being upset about what he did.”
His brows furrowed, “It was just…the fact that I wanted to inflict pain on him…it scared me a little. I was worried that I was more like my dad than I realized…that a part of me was violent enough to do the things he did…because I really wanted to. Then I was also afraid that I had scared you…that you would think I was no better than Alec. I didn’t want you to think that I could treat you the same way.”
My lips set into a tight line. I was determined to make him see himself as I do.
“You’re nothing like either of those men. I know this. You’re just fiercely protective of those you care about…If anything, you’re a nurturer. You’re selfless and enjoy caring for others. You’re an amazing person and worthy of everything good that life brings to you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t believe that.”
From the way his face scrunched up, I could tell he was fighting back his emotions. I pulled him against me, allowing him to bury his face against my neck as I hugged him. His arms tightened around me as his shoulders began to shake with his quiet sobs. His sniffles became a little more frequent as he allowed himself to feel whatever it was he was feeling.
He was right, knowing about his past did help me understand him better. His past self-destructive behavior and difficulty with relationships made so much more sense. The fact that he had shared this with me so willingly showed me that he was trying to break the cycle and connect with me in ways that he never had with anyone else. He was still putting in the work to better himself and be happy.
I continued to sooth him for a time, until he finally pulled away as he wiped his face with a tentative smile, causing his eyes to crinkle around the edges. Realizing that he was obviously feeling better, I gave him an encouraging smile in return.
“You somehow always seem to know what I need before I do. Thank you for not being afraid to show me,” he finally said.
I chuckled, “I don’t really know. I just know what I would want under the circumstances.”
He hummed as he nuzzled his nose against mine, “So…naked cuddling and slow, mind-blowing sex? Noted.”
I laughed. It was nice to see his sense of humor returning.
“Sooo…were you and Evan a thing at one point?” I asked. I couldn’t help being curious about it.
Dieter snorted, “Hell no. We were in the drama club together, but he doesn't swing that way. Never has. He likes boobs too much. He was there for the chics.”
I snickered, “Good to know. I didn’t get those vibes between you two, but I had to ask. I didn’t realize he’d been around for that long.”
He smiled, “Oh yeah, we go way back. I’m not sure I could trust anyone else to handle my stuff the way he does. He actually looks out for me and has my best interest in mind…calls me on my shit when he needs to. I’ve had other assistants that just wanted to enable my bad behavior so they could party and take advantage of me in some way. I can’t be having that anymore.”
I couldn’t help wondering about his parents after that. He seemed to notice something was on my mind and asked what I was thinking about.
“Have you had any contact with your parents since you left?” I asked.
His lips set into a tight line, “Umm well…my mom pretty much drank herself to death. She died years ago…but my dad…I think he’s still around somewhere. It’s been a while, but I’ll occasionally get a call asking for money. I don’t give him shit. That goes over about like you would expect. He hasn’t changed much. He’s still an asshole.”
I sighed, “I’m sorry.”
He shrugged, “It is what it is. I can’t change him. I can only change myself and how I respond to him.”
We soon noticed the time, realizing that we were going to be late for our evening rehearsal. After rushing around, we eventually made it to the studio. I think Dieter was happy for the distraction, quickly settling into our routine and focusing on the performance. He was back to his goofy and smiley self, having fun as we tried out a couple of different options for the choreography. At times we behaved a little less professionally as our bodies moved together with lingering touches and lips brushing against any skin they could get near without being completely obvious to anyone who might be passing by.
Things were definitely evolving between us, yet again. After the events from earlier in the day, I could tell something had changed. It was like all of the broken pieces of our being were slowly falling back into place and somehow converging into one. With every new piece that found its place, our connection steadily grew. Part of me questioned if it was real or just being overblown and intensified by the circumstances we found ourselves in. I hated to think like that, but it was something to consider.
After rehearsals, I found myself back at Dieter’s house. It was late, so we settled on something quick for dinner. Dieter made sandwiches that were fancier than anything I had ever put together between two pieces of bread. He was incapable of doing things halfway it seemed.
We got ready for bed after that, going through our newly established routine. We didn’t even bother changing into sleep clothes, now opting to sleep in nothing instead. I crawled into bed, snuggling in while Dieter shut off the lights and made sure the door was cracked for Zee. He slid under the blankets, reaching to pull me against him and tangle our limbs together. After burying his face in my hair, he sighed in contentment and squeezed me just a little tighter. He was asleep within minutes, and I wasn’t too far behind him.
When I awoke the next morning, Dieter was still snoring lightly against the back of my shoulder. I could just make out Zee’s paw stretched out across the side of his head and disappearing into his mess of curls as she snoozed behind him. I moved to get up, but Dieter groaned and stiffened his arm that was thrown over my middle.
I chuckled and whined, “Diiieter, I’ve gotta peeee.”
He huffed as he mumbled out a gravelly, “Fine.” Then he turned, snuggling Zee instead. “Guess I’ll just cuddle my other cat then.”
I laughed at his ridiculousness, shaking my head as I made my way to the bathroom. Once I was finished, I took the opportunity to swipe another one of Dieter’s t-shirts that said ‘Stay Horny for Art’ in large letters across the front. It had me shaking my head all over again as I slipped it on and walked out into the bedroom. I made my way over to his side of the bed, leaning down to ruffle his hair before giving him a quick kiss.
“I’m gonna go get breakfast started.”
He grabbed my hand, kissing the top of it before groaning and hiding his face from the sunlight that was beginning to sneak through the curtains. I smiled to myself as I pulled away and made my way downstairs. He was too adorable when he was half asleep and needy.
I was obviously nowhere as good of a cook as Dieter, so I decided to keep it simple. As I was digging through the pantry for pancake ingredients I heard movement in the kitchen. Assuming it was Dieter, I called out to ask, “Do you know where the…”
My words trailed off as I walked out of the pantry to find a petite woman, most likely in her early fifties, with short dark red hair, and a scowl on her face. I stopped in my tracks, taken off guard by her sudden appearance.
She stood with her hands on her hips as she looked me up and down, “I thought he was done bringing hussies home?”
I nearly choked on my own spit as I sucked in a breath. I shook my head, “No… I’m not…”
She sighed, “Did he relapse again? I’m gonna kick his ass if he did…then quit.”
That took me by surprise. I liked her already. Spitfire indeed.
I held my hands out in surrender, “No…he’s fine. He’s still in bed, asleep. You must be Cora, I presume?”
She seemed taken aback that I knew who she was, her face shifting from frustration to confusion before she nodded.
I gave her what I hoped was a polite smile, “I’m Kat. Dieter’s dance partner…”
I could tell when the realization hit because her eyes widened and her mouth fell open slightly before she finally spoke, “I’m not sure what to do with this...”
I chuckled, “It’s ok…I think this is a learning experience for all of us.”
Dieter chose that moment to come shuffling into the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of grey gym shorts and black crocs with Zee at his heels on a mission for breakfast. He came to stand next to me so he could wrap his arm around my waist and give me a quick kiss on the cheek, smiling lazily as he turned toward Cora, “I see you’ve finally met my lady. I hope you weren’t too hard on her…”
Cora’s eyebrows lifted up to her hairline as she studied Dieter. If I had to guess, I could only assume he had never acted this way toward anyone in front of her before. She gave a hesitant smile, “Dieter…you wanna tell me what’s going on?”
He pulled me snugly against his chest, “Well…we’re not exactly making it public yet…but Kat and I are together.”
“Together?” she asked. As if she needed confirmation.
He nodded as he fought a laugh, “Yeah…together. Like…a couple. Dating. Courting. Whatever your generation calls it.”
She gave him an admonishing look, “My generation? I’m not that much older than you, you little shit. You’ll be fifty in no time.”
I clapped a hand over my mouth to hold in the laughter that was threatening to escape. Dieter, on the other hand, cackled over her words. I could already see why he hired her. She was his kind of people.
Cora rolled her eyes at him before changing the subject back to us. “Well, this makes sense. I knew something was going on with you…you’ve been different lately. I just thought you were slipping back into your old habits and tryin’ ta hide it. I’m happy to see that’s not the case.”
She paused, giving me a mischievous smile before looking back at Dieter. “Looks like you’ve made a good decision for once. I’m not getting floozy, gold digging vibes from this one.”
Dieter chuckled as he turned to look at me with a dimpling smile, “No. She’s definitely not a floozy or a gold digger…she’s perfect.”
He had that sappy look in his eyes as they danced around my face. His smile widened as my cheeks flushed from his gaze and the words he said so freely. I could feel my heart fluttering in my chest as the thoughts of what that feeling meant, bounced around in my head. I refused to acknowledge it by name, but I knew what it was. The fact that I was falling so hard, so fast, had my mind reeling. I had to quickly pivot my train of thought before a spiral started. My attention shifted back to Cora, who was watching us intently, with a toothy smile.
Dieter invited her to sit for breakfast as he shuffled things around on the top shelf of the pantry to find the pancake ingredients. After refusing to let me help, I joined Cora on a stool at the island to watch Dieter cook. We slipped into an easy conversation, getting to know each other a little better while also teasing Dieter in any way we could. She was quickly becoming one of my new favorite people. It made me happy to know this was who Dieter was choosing to surround himself with now, even if she was hired help.
Since we didn’t have to be in rehearsal until later in the day, we spent some time lazing about in the pool. Not a minute passed that we weren’t touching each other in some way - be it laying back against his chest as he whispered sweetly in my ear while we lounged in the shallows or wrapped in his arms as he held me tightly and spoke in a low voice against my lips between kisses in the deep water. It never felt sexual. We were content just being wrapped up in each other as we bonded through touch and conversation. It made me realize how serious he was in not making our relationship about sex.
He opened himself up to me in a way I didn’t think anyone ever had, holding nothing back and giving me every part of himself. There was a lightness to him now, like everything that once weighed him down had been discarded and left in the past. It made me hopeful for him, and for us. His smile and happiness were infectious and warm. He was the sun and my light, teaching me how to find my confidence and love myself again. However, in the back of my mind I still had a worry that I was allowing him to affect me too much, too soon. I knew he had the power to break me in a way that Alec couldn’t, but he had given me more than enough reasons to trust that he wouldn’t.
After spending a good amount of time in the pool, we decided to relax and read on a chaise lounger. Dieter sat down, then allowed me to sit between his thighs and recline against his chest as I read aloud from the pages of Dan Brown’s The Lost Symbol. This eventually shifted into a debate about US government conspiracy theories which had us in fits of giggles as we argued our points for and against each one. We were into a deep conversation about the Roswell crash when my phone rang on the table next to us with an incoming FaceTime call. Dieter reached for it and handed it to me.
Seeing my sister’s name flash on the screen elicited a sigh from me. “I probably better answer this. She’s been giving me hell because I haven’t called her in a few weeks.”
Dieter shifted to get up and give me some privacy, but I stopped him, “No. Stay. I might as well tell her what I’ve been up to in my free time…”
He gave me a nervous look as he settled back into the seat. I took a deep breath then hit the ‘answer’ button, careful to keep the camera focused on my face for now as I smiled into it.
“Lydia, hey…how are you?”
She looked annoyed, “About damn time you answered. Why haven’t you called me?”
I smiled nervously, “Oh you know…I’ve been busy with rehearsals…”
She scoffed, “You’re never this busy with rehearsals…”
I scoffed back, “Well, I typically don’t make it this far into the competition to keep me this busy with rehearsals…”
She paused for a beat, considering my response. “Fair point. I guess I’ll let it slide…How come you’re not rehearsing now?”
I pushed a stray piece of hair away that was blowing in my face, “Our schedule got moved around a bit. We have an evening rehearsal today.”
She nodded, “Well…what’s been going on? I haven’t talked to you in weeks. Has Alec been an issue?”
I grimaced and shrugged, “You know…it’s Alec. I’m just avoiding him as much as I can and trying to move on…”
Something in my demeanor must have tipped her off, causing her eyes to narrow slightly. “And how is the moving on going? I feel like you’ve been very…nonchalant about this whole thing…”
I pursed my lips, “I mean…I was kind of over his shit before the thing with Lana happened. So, it’s like a weight has been lifted, honestly.”
Her eyes narrowed further, “Where are you right now?”
I could tell Dieter was holding in laughter, causing me to fight a smile as I replied. “I’m hanging out by the pool at a friend’s house.”
Dieter was shaking now, burying his face in the back of my hair to muffle his giggles. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip in an attempt to hide my smile as I angled the phone just right to cut him out of frame.
Lydia’s eyebrow arched. She was not amused with my evasive answers. “How are things going with your dance partner? You’ve hardly said anything about him…”
I couldn’t help smirking at that question, “It’s going good…he’s a good dancer…and we get along.”
Her face told me she was on to my bullshit while her voice feigned ignorance. “Hm, well that’s good. I guess that’s why you have such good chemistry on the dance floor then…”
I chuckled, “Well, he is an Oscar winning actor. He knows how to play a role well…”
I could tell Dieter was about to lose what little composure he had over that line. I wasn’t too far behind him.
Lydia sighed, “Kat…just tell me what the hell is going on. I’m not an idiot…something is up with you. Did something happen with him?”
I scrunched up my nose, “You really wanna know?”
She sighed, “Kat, seriously?” She paused and rubbed at the crease between her brows as she continued, “So there is something to that TMZ article then? Please tell me he at least fucked some sense into you and made ya realize that Alec was a shitty lay?”
Dieter snorted out a laugh before clapping his hand over his mouth. I grimaced while trying to hold in my own laughter. Lydia’s brows furrowed in confusion.
I glanced up at Dieter with a questioning look. After getting a nod of approval from him, I stretched my arms out in front of us so that we both fit into the frame. Dieter smiled sheepishly and waved. Lydia gasped out a shocked, “Oh shit!” before accidentally dropping her phone.
Dieter and I burst into laughter as the blurred images on the screen bounced around before finally focusing back on her shocked face. She sat there staring with her mouth hanging open as she processed what she was seeing.
Dieter chuckled before finally speaking, “Hi, Lydia! I’m sorry I’ve been keeping your sister from you. I swear it’s not on purpose.”
Her mouth finally snapped shut, “Wow, OK. So, this is like…happening then?”
I nodded with a smile, “Yeah, it kind of is…”
She looked overwhelmed now as she sputtered out, “How?...When?…Does Alec know?…” She paused, then gasped out, “Did you cheat on Alec? Please say yes.”
Dieter buried his face in my neck as he laughed at her. I shook my head and chuckled, “No. No cheating. It was after I ended things with Alec…in New York. Dieter’s been really supportive with everything and was looking out for me. We had gotten close and…it just sort of…happened.”
I reached up behind me to cup his cheek. He wasted no time lacing his fingers through mine as he turned his head to kiss the palm of my hand and pulled it away to nuzzle his cheek against the side of my head.
Lydia looked absolutely dumbfounded as she mumbled out, “Holy shit. So, you’re like together, together? This isn’t a fling type thing?”
I scoffed, “No, you know I’m not into that.”
She laughed, “I KNEW something was going on with him! I could tell from the way you look at him when you’re dancing on the show.”
Dieter and I snickered before I continued, “Well, we’re not going public yet. The producers are trying hard to make this a thing and I refuse to let them. Alec suspects, but I don’t wanna give him any more ammunition to come at us. I just wanna make it through this season with as little drama as possible and be done with it all.”
She nodded before her expression shifted to one of worry. “So, how has it been going…with you two?”
The question seemed innocent enough, but her tone told another story. Dieter sighed quietly, then leaned in next to my ear, “I’m gonna go get us something to drink and give you two some time to chat.”
I felt my stomach drop and hoped that hadn’t upset him as I shifted so that he could get up. He gave me a quick kiss on the top of the head before he disappeared inside.
My eyes shifted back to the phone, “Did you really have to ask that right now?”
She huffed out a nervous laugh, “What do you mean?”
It was my turn to narrow my eyes, “You know what I mean…you and your disapproving tone.”
She sighed, “It’s not disapproval…it’s concern. You just got out of a very long term engagement with an asshole and immediately got with Dieter Bravo of all people? He has a reputation ya know. I just worry is all.”
I couldn’t argue with her logic. Those same thoughts had already crossed my mind on more than one occasion.
My brows furrowed, “I completely understand where you’re coming from…I’ve thought about that too. It is fast, but we were building a solid friendship beforehand. It’s not like I just met him last week. And Dieter…he’s not what you would expect…certainly not what I expected. He’s actually very caring and sweet. He’s been working really hard on himself…and he really is a good person. We’ve connected in a way that I’ve never connected with anyone before…”
She puffed air through her cheeks as she rubbed at her temple, “Oh Kat…you’ve got it bad, don’t you?”
I sighed, “Yeah, I think I do…I mean, the man is learning to make Greek food for me…and he’s always worried about how I’m feeling after rehearsals. He makes a point to take care of me…cooking, hot baths, massages…Alec always acted like my body aches were such a damn burden. And Dieter…he’s so open about everything…his past, his feelings. He’s the complete opposite of Alec in every way. How could I not have it bad with that?”
Lydia let out a low whistle, “Damn, sis…he almost sounds too good to be true. What about his reputation though? The whoring around and partying? Doesn’t that worry you?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. It was frustrating, but I understood where she was coming from.
“He’s been sober for ten months and hasn’t been with anyone else for even longer than that. He’s been taking it seriously…We’ve talked through why he used to do those things and he’s working through it…I-I trust him. He’s not that person any more. He’s already proved that to me in a million different ways.”
She grimaced slightly, “Are you sure this isn’t another one of your ‘I can fix him’ phases?”
I scoffed, “I should be offended by that…but I kind of deserved it. I-It’s not that. Dieter doesn’t need me to fix him. He was already fixing himself before he met me. He did that part on his own.”
That seemed to alleviate some of her worries, causing her features to relax. “Well, that’s good to hear at least.”
I huffed out a laugh, “Hell, if anything he’s fixing me...”
Lydia snickered, “So he’s good in bed then…”
I couldn’t help rolling my eyes as I fought a smile, “That’s not what I was referring to, but yes…he is. He’s very attentive, skilled…adventurous…and he knows how to read me. No direction needed. It’s…more than just sex with him too…it’s always very intimate…during and after.”
I paused, briefly laughing to myself as I thought about mine and Dieter’s previous conversation we had in this very spot. “When we got back from New York, he invited me over to stay with him…he didn’t wanna have sex that night. He said he didn’t want it to be all about that with us. We didn’t do it again for like a week. He’s all about exploring all forms of intimacy.”
Lydia’s eyes nearly bulged out her head with that news. “Fuuuck, ok. He just won me over because that’s a major turn on.”
I laughed, “Right? You understand now? And I haven’t even told you about his cat and plants.”
Lydia looked intrigued, however, Dieter chose that moment to emerge from the house carrying two glasses of lemonade.
I murmured out a quick “I’ll fill you in on that later,” as I turned to smile up at him. I scooted forward so he could take his seat behind me after he set the glasses on the small table beside us. He wasted no time wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging me tightly against his chest.
“Alright ladies, what did I miss?” he asked in a playful tone.
Lydia bit back a laugh, “Kat was just telling me that you’re awesome in the sack.”
I could feel my cheeks flush, “Fucking hell, Lyd. Shut up.”
Dieter vibrated from laughter behind me, shaking his head as he spoke. “Well, I guess there are worse things she could be saying.”
We fell into easy conversation after that, somehow dragging Lydia into our prior discussion about conspiracy theories. They were both laughing and already throwing jokes at one another. I could tell she liked him which gave me some comfort. After we hung up, a text message immediately pinged from Lydia.
Lydia: OK. I get it now. Hot. Fucking hilarious. Worships you. I approve. 👏👏👏
I smiled and showed it to Dieter, who howled with laughter. He was feeling pretty smug, having won the affections of my sister.
Soon after that, relaxation time was up. We had to get to the studio for a rather exhausting rehearsal. Given that the Paso Doble is a fast paced, Latin style dance, it didn’t take long before we were running on fumes, but the choreography was really beginning to come together by this point in the week. Dieter was having fun with the fact that most of the attention for this dance was on him and allowed him to show a little bit of sass and attitude. He was definitely playing up those attributes, and I was enjoying every second of it. Especially after he declared the room felt like an inferno and peeled his sweaty shirt off over his head.
(Click images to enlarge so you don't miss anything. More after the jump.)
The constant rehearsals were definitely having an effect on his body, toning all the right muscles and slimming him down slightly. He looked amazing and I could tell he was feeling it too. He seemed more confident in himself, which only led to more torture for me. It was obvious he was intentionally flaunting the goods to get me worked up - not that I was complaining. I didn’t mind seeing more skin or watching the muscles in his chest, arms, and back flex as he moved around the dance floor. It was quickly becoming one of my favorite sights. Especially when he added that sexy smirk of his to the mix.
After rehearsal, Dieter went to pick up takeout for us while I ran home to check on things and resupply on clothes and the essentials before I made my way over to his house. He was just setting Zee’s dinner down on her mat when I walked in. They seemed to be having some sort of standoff over the evening’s meal selection as he placed his hands on his hips and huffed down at her. She sat defiantly staring up at him as her tail flicked back and forth. I rolled my lips together to hold in my laugh as I watched Zee meow loudly, which elicited a heavy sigh from Dieter.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. There’s nothing wrong with it, woman. You don’t have to have freshly cooked protein with every meal.”
She meowed again, then glanced at her plate before shifting her eyes back to his. He rolled his eyes and puffed air out of his cheeks before stalking over to the pantry, then emerged with a pouch of tuna. Clearly losing the battle with his furry little menace. Zee seemed more enthusiastic about her dinner as she watched him spoon a small amount out on top of her food. Finally, a compromise.
Dieter turned his attention to me with an exasperated look on his face. “I think I have unintentionally created a monster,” he said through a chuckle.
I walked over toward the island to unpack our dinner as I snickered, “It seems so…but I gotta say, watching you two battle it out has become one of my favorite pastimes. She’s got you wrapped around her little paw.”
He came to stand behind me, grazing his nose up the side of my neck as he wrapped his arms around me. “What can I say? I live to serve my two ladies. I’m your bitch and I have no shame to say it.”
I snorted out a laugh as I sank back against him, turning to give him a quick kiss. He pulled away with a smile, “Speaking of…I got you some spanakopita…and after you eat, we’re taking a hot bath. If my body hurts this bad, I know yours has to.”
I smiled up at him, “Sounds like a plan. I am feeling quite achy this evening.”
His lips set into a tight line, “I’ll make you some herbal tea. It’ll help. Now…go sit. Get off your feet. I’ll handle all this.”
The no nonsense look on his face told me there was no arguing. So, I did as he said. He had a plate full of food and a glass of water in front of me within minutes, making sure I was taken care of before he sat down beside me. When we finished, he put everything away while I spent a few minutes cuddling Zee and drinking my fresh cup of herbal tea. He soon disappeared upstairs to run the bath, and I followed several minutes later.
I found Dieter undressed down to his boxer briefs and leaning over the side of the tub, checking the water temperature and adding some Epsom salt. The sight of him caused my pulse to quicken. When he turned and gave me his sexy little smirk, I thought my heart would explode out of my chest. Without a word, he stood to grab a brush and began to meticulously brush the knots out of my hair caused by today’s rehearsal. Then he twisted it up and secured it with a flat clip. He proceeded to undress me, taking his time to allow his hands and lips to gently explore my body before helping me into the tub.
Dieter settled in on the opposite end, immediately taking one of my feet into his large hands and began massaging. I relaxed into the water, enjoying the feel of the jets spraying along my body and Dieter’s touch. We sat staring at each other in silence, the air around us electric as we simply existed together. His lips tugged upward as his fingers dipped down to rub at that spot on my foot, causing my thighs to clench. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip as I narrowed my eyes in his direction.
The smirk was back now, “What’s the matter Kitten? You need something from me?”
I further relaxed into the water, “I think you’re the one being naughty right now, Bravo.”
His brows arched, “Let me show you how naughty I can be. Just lay back and relax. Don’t fight the sensations. Imma show you how nerve endings work.”
I did as he asked, trying to loosen up and just feel as our eyes remained locked in an intense stare. His thumbs got to work, gradually increasing pressure in the spots he knew would get me worked up. I could feel the tingle begin in my foot, eventually shooting up directly to my core. My first instinct was to pull away just because it was an odd sensation. It caused his grip to tighten as he tsked at me, “Relax, Kitten. Don’t fight it. Feel it.”
He continued the same pressure with his thumb, allowing me a moment to become accustomed to the sensation. I was soon panting under his touch, my thighs tensing as my center sought out more friction. It was as if I was suspended right on the edge, close enough to feel something but never completely falling over. His hooded gaze told me that he was enjoying watching me writhe under his touch at the other end of the tub. I lost track of how long that went on. I was damn near in tears when he gave me that mischievous smirk and finally spoke, “Touch yourself for me…”
My jaw fell slack as one hand moved down to my massage breast and the other to my center. My fingers got to work rubbing at the sensitive and swollen nub, adding to the sensations I was already feeling from where Dieter continued to rub my foot, now adding even more pressure with his thumbs. Within seconds, I fell over the edge. My body tensing and arching out of the water as a loud moan escaped my lips. I saw stars as the blood rushed behind my ears. It was one of the most intense orgasms I had ever had from basic stimulation. Dieter continued rubbing my foot through it, prolonging the sensations until I finally relaxed into the water.
When my senses finally returned, my eyes fluttered open to find Dieter’s smug smile. He seemed rather proud of himself. I gave him a lazy smile in return, suggestively running my foot down his chest until it disappeared under the water - going lower to brush against his hardness that was hiding under the surface. His eyes narrowed, “Now who's being naughty?”
I gave him an innocent smile, “Oh no…I’m just returning the favor.”
I sat up, shifting to join him at the other end of the tub. With my breast pressed against him, I leaned in for a slow and sensual kiss. My left arm moved around his neck allowing my fingers to tangle in his hair as my lips trailed down his jaw to first suck on his ear lobe before moving to the sensitive spot behind it. I resituated myself, my left side leaning against him as my right hand traced a path downward. His lips captured mine until my fingers wrapped around the base of his cock and stroked upward. His jaw fell slack, breaking our kiss as his head dropped backward onto the ledge of the tub. With the arm that was wrapped around me, he reached up to gently rub soothing circles at the base of my neck as I continued to pump his length - occasionally swiping my thumb over the head and squeezing just a little tighter.
I took this opportunity to take in his expressions as his breath quickened. His head lolled back and forth as his brows pinched together. His teeth bit into his bottom lip as he turned and whimpered quietly against my shoulder. I leaned down, grazing my nose against his ear, speaking in a silky soft voice.
“You’ve been so good today…taking care of me in every way. I think it’s only fair that I take care of you too. Don’t you?”
He whimpered, his mouth falling open, allowing his hot pants to blow against the curve of my neck as my hand pumped a little faster. My fingers twisted in his hair, pulling it slightly causing his head to fall back away from me so that I could see his face again. His brows pinched together tighter as his arm tensed around me, his fingers now gripping my shoulder firmly. He was panting out soft whimpers with every exhale, eventually turning into a deep groan as I swiped my thumb over the head for the last time - causing him to cum. He trembled under me, eventually going limp against the tub, sucking in deep breaths through his pouty lips as his brows arched.
A curl fell down over his forehead as his head leaned toward me. He looked relaxed now and completely blissed out as he sat there with his eyes closed. A lazy grin slid across his lips as his dark eyes finally blinked open to meet my gaze. Without warning he pulled me down, causing me to squeal as he crashed his lips against mine. His hands ghosted up and down my back side while we continued to make out like a couple of teenagers, pulling apart only to stare into each other's eyes.
He reached up to brush a stray hair away from my face as he took me in, “You know…I wouldn’t be upset if every night for the rest of my life ended like this…with us together…you make me happier than I ever thought possible.”
His words took me off guard, causing a mix of emotions - excitement because it meant he was thinking long term about our future, but also panic. It was another reminder of how hard and how fast I was falling for him because I now realized I wanted that, more than anything. I was also setting myself up to get hurt badly if this went wrong. I was already in so much deeper with him than I ever was with Alec. I need to get over this. Dieter isn’t Alec. He won’t do what Alec did.
My eyes searched his, I could tell he meant what he was saying. I felt like he wanted to say more but was holding back. I suddenly felt emotional, the only response I could muster was a small smile before pulling him in for a gentle kiss. I turned, settling back against his chest as his hands rubbed my shoulders.
He kissed the top of my head, seeming to sense my anxiety, then leaned his cheek against it as he spoke, “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that…I wanna take things at a pace you're OK with. I don’t want you to feel rushed. I mean it when I say you’re important to me and…I don’t wanna fuck this up.”
I grabbed his hand and nuzzled it against the side of my face, “Don’t apologize. I want you to be open with me about your feelings. I do appreciate the grace…just be patient with me. I’m there with you, but I’m feeling a lot of things…I’m still working through a lot of things, most of which have nothing to do with you…just know that.”
He hugged me against him, brushing the hair back off my face as he told me to relax for a little while. We sat in silence for a time, until Zee came strutting into the bathroom meowing because we weren’t in bed yet. We took that as our cue to start our bedtime routine so as not to upset the queen of the Bravo residence.
Dieter climbed into bed first that night, raising the blanket for me to crawl in beside him. I was suddenly feeling vulnerable as I snuggled in against his chest. He pulled me snugly against himself as I tangled my leg with his. His scent and warmth surrounded me, calming me and bringing me back to my senses. “Dieter?”
He murmured out a sleepy ‘hm?’ against the top of my hair.
“I wouldn’t mind having this every night, too.”
I felt him smile as he nuzzled his face further into my hair and hugged me just a little tighter.
Dieter’s POV This week had been such an emotional roller coaster for me already. Kat and I finally caved after a week of no sex, first in the dressing room at the studio, then again after we got back to my place that same evening. It wasn’t just sex though. Like in New York, it was different - intense. She had me feeling things that I had never felt before, causing my emotions to jump all over the place. It felt like it was never enough and too much all at the same time. I wondered if this was what it felt like to make love to someone. I had always heard people say that, but never really understood it. To me, there was only sex or fucking. Those two things didn’t feel like appropriate descriptors for what Kat and I did though.
There was no question about my feelings for her. I knew I was in love, but did the intensity between us mean she felt the same about me? I couldn’t help hoping that was the case. Why else would it feel like this with her if she wasn’t reciprocating those feelings? It was something I wanted to bring up with her, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to freak her out and ruin what we were building. Deep down I knew she was more fragile than she let on. I knew this thing with Alec had affected her no matter how hard she tried to hide it. I wanted to make sure I gave her all the time she needed to heal.
The shit storm brewing around us certainly didn’t help any. I knew there would eventually be some repercussions from the Alec confrontation. The rumors had already begun to swirl and TMZ had gotten a whiff of it. They were sniffing around for any details they could get so they could post about it.
Then that suggestive text message came through when Kat had my phone. I damn near had a panic attack, worried she would think I was talking to other people behind her back. I knew I should have gotten my number changed as soon as all those random messages started to come in after SNL. It would have saved us both some grief. Thankfully, it appeared as if she believed my explanation. At least I hoped she did, because it was the truth. However, I knew it had to be worrisome to her after the whole Alec thing. I felt like a complete asshole over the incident. I never wanted to do anything to make her worry about those sort of things because I would never do that to her.
I went from that major fuck up right into my therapy session with Dr. Smith where she made me talk about my parents and how that related to my freak out on Alec. It was something that I did need to talk through. I couldn’t put it off forever because it had been bothering me. Dr. Smith helped me realize that the visceral reaction was more about protecting someone I care deeply for than anything - that I’m not that violent person. My biggest fear is that I would turn into my father or that I was already like him in some way. Deep down I knew I wasn’t, but that worry would always be there because I was so affected by it during my early life.
When I got back home after that session, I went straight to my sanctuary. I needed to get it out of my system in some way, finally settling for music. When I began to play, I didn’t have any intention to go live on Instagram, but I figured why not? That was what Lenny wanted me to do. I ended up finding it to be strangely cathartic, but I was still feeling down when Kat showed up. Given that Dr. Smith had encouraged me to tell Kat about my past, I felt like it was the last step I needed to take to absolve myself of all the things I was feeling.
I didn’t even know where to start, but Kat knew exactly what I needed - pulling me into that moment of intimacy and just letting me be while I worked through my emotions. I needed all of her and she willingly let me have as much as I could handle. It felt like something shifted between us yet again, but I didn’t know what. All I knew is that I felt closer to her afterward and completely safe to open up to tell her about my past.
Our relationship really was progressing quicker than I thought it would. After Kat met Cora, she had essentially met all the important people in my circle. She was becoming engrained in every part of my life, and I couldn’t have been happier about it. Cora loved Kat and approved once she got to spend a little time with her. Kat had even told her sister about me, which I felt like was a big fucking deal. She seemed almost proud to show me off to Lydia, not hesitating to let me join their call after she spilled the beans. It all felt very natural, and I honestly couldn’t believe it was happening. This thing between us was obviously turning into something serious. It was scary, but I welcomed it with open arms. I was ready to have someone, to have my own functional family.
After allowing my mind to run a marathon of thoughts as I laid in bed staring at the ceiling, my attention turned to Kat. She was sleeping soundly beside me. I hated to disturb her, but I really needed to take a piss and get breakfast started. Since it was a late rehearsal day, I wanted to take advantage of our free time and surprise her with an authentic Greek meal.
Kat groaned as I pulled away from her to get up, causing me to huff out a quiet laugh as I ran my fingertips down the side of her cheek. “Sorry to wake you sweetheart, go back to sleep for a bit. I’m gonna go make you some breakfast.”
She hummed out in agreement, snuggling deeper into the blankets as I tucked them around her. Zee stood from her spot at the end of the bed, moving toward Kat’s head. I narrowed my eyes at her, pointing an accusing finger as I whispered out, “You behave. Don’t be an annoying little shit.”
Kat snickered into the pillow as she lifted the blanket, allowing Zee to cuddle in against her before cocooning them both in the duvet. Seeing my two girls snuggled up in my bed together was really doing something to me, causing my heart to flutter in my chest and making me feel happy in a way I never had been. I really couldn’t ask for anything better than that.
I threw on a pair of gym shorts and grabbed my fluffy green robe, then headed downstairs to start cooking. I had asked Cora to pick up some ingredients for a traditional Greek breakfast that I wanted to try my hand at making. It seemed simple enough, so I figured I couldn’t fuck it up too badly.
I got to work, chopping the tomatoes and onions before letting them sauté in a pan - eventually adding lightly beaten eggs and several spices before topping with crumbled feta. I followed that up with fried pork, then made a small batch of what equated to Greek French toast. Kat came shuffling in just as I added the finishing touches of honey and cinnamon to the fried bread. I could hear her sniffing the air as she came up behind me to wrap her arms around my waist.
“This smells amazing. What did you make?”
After setting the container of cinnamon down, I turned to face her with a smirk, wrapping my arms around her and hugging her against me as I went over the morning menu.
“Well, we have some fried pork…and forgive me if I butcher the names…but I also made some fetoydia and strapatsada.”
Her eyes lit up, “No you didn’t?!?!”
I chuckled, “I did. I also had Cora get you some fancy imported Greek coffee and mountain tea too. I’m curious to try those. Which would you like with your breakfast?”
Her mouth hung open for a beat, clearly surprised by my efforts. “I can’t believe you did that for me…I don’t even know what to say.”
I shrugged, “It’s not a big deal. You know I love to try new things…and you’ve given me a reason to. Now, coffee or tea?”
She sighed in contentment, “Coffee, please.”
I gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before pulling away to get it started, “Coming right up! Food’s done, so dig in.”
She had a ghost of a smile on her lips as she made her plate which had me feeling all warm and fuzzy. I would never tire of spoiling her every chance I got.
Kat seemed to enjoy the meal, moaning in appreciation with every bite. She and I ate way too much to the point we both felt miserable after. Thankfully we had several hours before we had to be in the dance studio, so we could relax and be a little lazy for a while. We spent some time snuggled on the couch - her tucked into my side as Zee stretched out in the crevice between Kat and the back of the sofa. Kat watched as I aimlessly scrolled through the threads of one of my online plant groups, taking the time to respond to questions and complain to her about how so many people gave terrible advice.
I chuckled as I explained to Kat how I was the dickhead that always incited arguments about plant care and then won them and how I had amassed quite the little following that always directly asked me for advice. I often wondered what they would do if they knew who they were actually talking to.
After several minutes, Kat piped up to ask, “What do they mean when they say SuccDee? Is that a dirty plant joke? I don’t understand the context.”
My body shook with laughter as I tried to hold it in. I finally got it together enough to answer her. “My username is ‘Succulent_Daddy_Dee’. They have taken to calling me ‘SuccDee’ for short.”
I could see the moment of realization on her face as her eyes widened. Then she burst into laughter as she buried her face in my chest. She had tears in her eyes as she asked, “And I’m sure you did nothing to encourage that. You’re so bad…”
I snorted out laughter, “Hey, I wasn’t the one to come up with it. However, I will admit I did nothing to discourage it. Honestly, I spent a good five minutes laughing the first time someone said it. It just stuck and it’s kind of fucking perfect.”
She wiped her eyes, “I’m not sure which version of that name is more entertaining. The multiple meanings of the word succulent take it to a whole other level.”
I feigned innocence, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. A succulent is a type of plant. I am the father to many succulent plants. Get your mind outta the gutter.”
She broke into another fit of giggles, “You’re so full of shit.”
I snickered, “Yeah, guilty…but hey, at least I keep it entertaining.”
With the arm she had thrown across my torso, she gave me a little squeeze. “That you do. I can’t complain.”
I continued to scroll, pausing on a post that caught my attention and reading it out loud to Kat.
Here’s a little fun fact for all of my plant enthusiasts. Plants can talk! They emit ultrasonic vibrations of 20–100 kHz. To make this more interesting, cats can hear up to 64 kHz and dogs up to 45 kHz. Does this mean my pets can hear the plants?
I looked down at her, “Fuuck, am I unknowingly driving Zee insane with all my plants? It must be super loud in here to her...”
This fact was sort of blowing my mind as I peeked over at Zee, the mention of her name rousing her from a deep sleep. “Damn Zee, I wish you could talk. I wanna know what they say…Maybe I should talk to them more?”
My attention diverted back to Kat, finding her smiling up at me. “Well, now I know why she sometimes randomly stares at them in that freaky way she does. I wonder if there’s a way we can hear them? Imma have to research this…”
Kat’s smile widened, and to Zee’s dismay, she shifted so that she could raise up to kiss me and mumble, “You’re so fucking adorable” against my lips. My thoughts for the talking plants were soon forgotten as I discarded my iPad on the floor next to the couch and proceeded to have a heated make out session with my lady.
We were interrupted minutes later by her phone ringing on the table next to us. Kat seemed intent on ignoring it, continuing to kiss down my jaw and neck as I turned to grab her cell with a chuckle.
“It’s Marc. You need to take it?”
Her head popped up with a perplexed look on her face, “Yeah…maybe. He rarely calls me.”
She answered, going through the usual small talk and pleasantries before going quiet to listen to what I assumed was his reason for calling. Her brows pinched together slightly before she gave me a puzzled smile.
“Marc wants to know if we’re available for dinner with him, his wife, and Stefanie and her partner on Sunday?”
I was surprised by the request, but they had seemed to be more friendly toward us since the Alec incident. I figured it might do us some good to be sociable, so I shrugged. “Why not? Could be fun.”
Kat gave me a brilliant smile before telling Marc we would be there, then listened for a bit longer before asking, “Bring our guitars?”
Her eyes shifted to mine nervously. I reached up to run my fingers through her hair, causing her to relax into my touch. “Yeah…I’ll tell him to. Yep, see you then.”
After she hung up, her eyes met mine, “It seems they wanna have a jam session after dinner. They all play apparently…”
She didn’t seem excited about that idea. “We don’t have to stay for that if you don’t want to.”
Her nose scrunched up as she asked, “How do you feel about doing that?”
I shrugged, “I mean, it could be fun. I haven’t done anything like that in forever…but if you don’t want to…”
Kat sighed, “No…you know what? I’m gonna do it. I need to play again. It’ll be good for me. Besides, you’ll be there with me, so I’ll be fine.”
Her words caused a warmth to spread through me. I loved that she felt that way, that I could ease her anxieties. She was putting so much trust in me, more than anyone ever had. If only she understood how much that meant. I knew it couldn’t be easy after what she had gone through, which made it mean so much more. I gave her a soft smile before pulling her in for a tender kiss.
Zee chose that moment to paw a glass that was still about one fourth of the way full of water off the coffee table, which broke our spell and the glass.
“Zee, what the fuck?” I huffed out in frustration while Kat snorted out a laugh beside me. Zee gave me a defiant look as her tail whipped back and forth. I sighed as we moved to get up. Kat grabbed Zee to keep her safe while I moved to clean up the mess. Zee now seemed happy as a clam as she purred and snuggled against Kat.
I gave Zee the side eye as I swept up the mess, “There are other less destructive ways to get our attention, young lady. That was not cool.”
Zee seemed like she could care less as Kat scratched behind her ears and snickered at her complete disregard for my scolding. Once I got everything cleaned up, I decided to do some much needed plant care as Kat gave Zee the attention she was demanding. Zee’s need for affection didn’t last long. Once she had her fill, she simply jumped from Kats arms and made her way over to the top of her cat tree to groom herself. Kat scoffed at her dismissal as she stood, coming to stand next to me as I dusted, pruned, and misted leaves. Her arms snaked around my waist as she rested her chin on my shoulder and watched me work in silence for a few minutes. I could feel her lips brush against my skin as she asked, “Can you teach me how to do this?”
I don’t know why, but her request had my heart racing. It made me feel giddy that she wanted to learn about my hobby. I glanced down at her with a smirk, “You mean you don’t already do this for your plants?”
She snorted, “My plants are lucky to get water. They come to my house to survive, not live.”
I shook my head and scoffed out a laugh, “That’s just depressing. Don’t tell me that. Imma have to start checking in on them.”
She smiled against my neck, “I would be ok with that.”
I pulled her around to stand in front of me, now leaning over her shoulder with my arms around her. My hands shifted through the leaves of the plant I was currently working on as I explained when to prune and the process for dusting and misting. She was full of questions as she took over to do it herself. I hugged her backside against me as I supervised, placing the occasional gentle kiss against her jaw and the curve of her neck. Once she got the hang of it, we both worked through all the plants in the room as we chatted and got to know each other better. I honestly couldn’t think of a better way to spend my free time, and I found it to be a wonderful and relaxing way to bond with her.
Before we knew it, it was time for us to head off to rehearsal for the rest of the day. It was another grueling day in the dance studio and also filming day. After seven weeks of this, I could tell it was slowly wearing me down. This dance in particular was taking a lot out of me with it being very high energy. After six hours of it, my tank was running empty and I was beginning to make ridiculous mistakes with my footwork and frame. Kat seemed to be struggling as well. We were both slowing down and couldn’t seem to keep up with the music. At least it made for some interesting footage for the show. We eventually sat on the floor and settled for talking through some parts of it, deciding what still needed to be tweaked or changed and coming up with a game plan for the next two days. That part would probably be less exciting to watch, but we sort of didn’t care.
Once our studio time was up, we headed home. After a quick dinner, we showered together - too tired to do anything aside from getting clean. It wasn’t long before we crashed, falling asleep almost as soon as our heads hit the pillow. When I awoke the next morning to find Zee snuggled up next to me, I couldn’t recall having felt her get in the bed. Neither did Kat. We had obviously been out of it.
We spent our Saturday morning outdoors with the intent to take it easy until our evening rehearsal time. We started with painting some planter pots on the back patio. I had somehow managed to con Kat into the activity over breakfast. She grumbled at first, citing her lack of artistic capabilities, but that grumbling soon abated when I sat down behind her. I made sure to pull her back to my front as snugly as possible before putting my arms around her waist and using my hands to guide hers, showing her different techniques for painting flowers and trees onto the plain terracotta. After she got the hang of it, I took advantage of my position to lavish her exposed neck with attention from my mouth.
Once I had her properly worked up, I scooted away with a smirk so that I could paint my own pot. She scoffed, calling me a “fucking tease” as I shot a wink in her direction. My smugness soon faded when she began removing layers of clothing to reveal a lavender bikini that looked absolutely amazing against her golden skin. She was the smug one now as she pretended not to notice my eyes on her.
I huffed out a laugh as I pulled my t-shirt off over my head, “Fine. Two can play that game, honey.”
She scrunched up her nose in annoyance, then flicked a paintbrush in my direction - causing speckles of paint to splatter all over my face and chest. It only escalated from there. Before it was over with, we were rolling around on top of the drop cloth covered in paint, laughing like a couple of idiots in between making out with each other.
Once we realized our skin was beginning to stick together from the drying paint, we finally got up and made use of the outdoor shower stall to rinse each other off. Afterward, I jumped into the pool while she sat on the side with her legs swishing in the water, laughing at my antics and taking pictures of me with my phone.
I eventually swam up to her, wrapping my arms around her legs and resting my head on her lap as she scratched at my dripping scalp. We sat like that for a time in silence, enjoying the sun and just being together. I could get used to this. It was almost addicting having her here by my side in this way, but it was also calming the storm that always swirled in my mind. The self-depreciating and negative thoughts were so far removed from my focus that I felt what I could only describe as normal? Unburdened? Content? I couldn’t really find a word to describe it. I was definitely happy, but there was something more with it. I knew it was because of her, keeping my demons locked away in the shadows where they belonged.
I raised my head, squinting from the sun as I looked up at her with a smile. “Let's go out to the beach. I haven’t gotten to properly take advantage of it yet.”
Her brows furrowed, “Is that a good idea?”
I shrugged, “It’s a private beach…”
She scrunched up her face, “I don’t like getting in the ocean though…I’m not confident in my swimming capabilities.”
I pouted, “You don’t have to go in very far. Besides, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. How about I just don’t let go of you?”
She sighed, tilting her head to the side as she slowly gave in to the idea. I gave her a cheesy smile, “I’ll even let you bury me in the sand. You can give me a mermaid tail and boobs.”
She snorted out a laugh, “Fine…fine. I will not be cleaning the sand out of your ass though. That’s on you.”
I backed away from her with a laugh and pulled myself up on the edge of the pool to get out, “Deal…Just remember you didn’t say anything about cleaning under my balls though.”
She cackled as I held out my hands to pull her up from the ground, “Come on, let’s go pack a bag with the essentials. I may even have a tiny shovel and a bucket you can use.”
That pulled another tinkling laugh out of her as she stood.
I was true to my word, letting Kat bury me to do all manner of ridiculous things - including the mermaid tail and boobs. I helped with the boobs, shaping and cupping them to make sure they were the perfect roundness and size, which had us both in a fit of giggles.
Afterwards, Kat stretched out on a towel under the oversized beach umbrella to read while I went for a dip in the ocean to try and wash the sand out of all the places it shouldn’t be. She laid on her stomach for a time, which had her voluptuous ass on display. I couldn’t help staring at it in those little bikini bottoms she had on. It was definitely begging to be spanked. After several minutes, she flipped over onto her back, propping herself up on her elbows as she not so subtly adjusted her top. She gave me a smirk and a wink while her boobs bounced around from where she tugged at the scraps of fabric. She knew exactly what she was doing, and it was working. I was already half hard from the visual. The dirty thoughts that followed finished the job and got me the rest of the way there.
I ambled to the shore, noticing Kat’s gaze on me as I made my way toward her. She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth as she watched me hungrily. My eyes surveyed the area, not seeing anyone near us and realizing the umbrella blocked the view from nearby houses. I intended to take full advantage of that as I sank to my knees at her feet. I crawled up her body, dripping water and peppering kisses along her heated skin as I went. I paused half way and shook my head like a dog, which elicited a loud squeal from her and laughter from the both of us before I captured her lips with mine. Her hips bucked against my raging hardon, causing me to groan into her mouth.
She hummed against my lips, “Feels like somebody enjoyed the view.”
I smiled, dropping my right hand down between her thighs, slipping a finger underneath the fabric of her bikini bottoms to find her soaking wet for me. “I think somebody else did too.”
She sighed softly as I began to rub between her slick folds, “Not gonna lie…you looked pretty fucking hot coming outta the water like that…better than any porno I’ve ever seen.”
I chuckled, leaning down to kiss along her neck as my fingers worked her over. “Sounds like my Kitten needs a little attention. Are you aching for me, honey?”
Her hands tangled in my hair as she nodded and let out a breathy, “Always.”
She began to grind against my hand as my fingers curled inside of her and my thumb made leisurely swirls around her sensitive bud. My lips found her ear as I spoke in a hushed voice, “Always so ready for me…such a needy girl. I want you to come for me, right here…where anyone could see.”
Her thighs began to tense around my hand as her body arched upward against me. I knew she was close. “You’re being such a dirty girl right now, you know that? Letting me play with you out in the open like this…and I think you kinda like it. You like being my dirty girl?”
I pulled back slightly to look at her even though she had a death grip on my hair. She nodded in response to my question, her brows pinching together and mouth falling open as my thumb increased pressure and speed. She was trembling now, so close.
I kissed along her jaw again, mumbling as I worked my way down the curve of her neck, “I’m gonna bend you over the kitchen counter and fuck you senseless as soon as we walk through the door.”
That sent her over the edge, causing her to bury her face against my shoulder to muffle the moans she was trying and failing to hold in. She collapsed against the towel, panting as a lazy smile spread across her face. Her hand slid down from my hair, cupping my cheek as she peered up at me, “The things you do to me…”
I chuckled, “Don’t worry, I’m not done yet…”
She narrowed her eyes at me as I stood and pulled her up from the ground with a smirk. Once she was standing, I didn’t hesitate to lean forward and throw her over my shoulder, giving her ass a good smack before I turned to walk back toward the ocean. She squealed and squirmed, but it didn’t do any good. I had a firm grip as I walked into the water up to my waist before dropping her in. She stood, cursing me as she sputtered out water and wiped at her face. I reached toward her with a smile, snaking my hand around her waist and pulling her into my embrace. She welcomed it, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me gently.
I pulled her out a little further into the water, so that we could bob with the waves. I felt her grip tighten slightly, but she didn’t stop me. She was trusting that I wouldn’t let her go. She gave me a mischievous smile as she wrapped her legs around me, now rubbing her center against my dick and further stoking the flame that was burning inside of me.
I groaned, “Now who’s being a fucking tease?”
Her lips moved along my neck, “Want me to take care of that little problem for you?”
I huffed out a laugh, “No. I actually meant what I said earlier…I’m bending you over the counter and fucking you when we get back to the house.”
She raised her head to look at me, her lips fighting a smile. I leaned in, brushing my nose against hers as I reached down to grab the globes of her ass, pulling her center tighter against me, “I’m also gonna spank you and make you come again. Maybe twice if you’re good for me.”
I could feel her thighs clenching against me as her mouth clashed against mine. Our hands explored each other as the kiss deepened, her right one making its way down between us to rub at the bulge in my shorts.
“Can we go back to the house now? Please? I need you…” she begged.
My forehead pressed against hers as I whined, “As if I could deny you anything…”
My hand moved to cup her cheek as I leaned back to take her in. She was so fucking beautiful. The sun was glistening off her tanned skin and emphasizing the gold flecks in her amber eyes in a way I had never seen. I felt dumbstruck by it as my heart began to flutter in my chest. She was literally taking my breath away.
One side of her lips twitched upward, “You OK?”
I nodded as my thumb stroked her face, “Yeah…I’m just…I wanna remember everything about this moment. I umm…” I love you.
I was so fucking close to saying it as she smiled up at me, but I was too afraid it would scare her away. It had only been two weeks. It was too soon.
“I’ve just never umm…”
My words trailed off as I shook my head to clear it. I didn’t know how to express what I was feeling but I needed to say something.
“I’ve never experienced something like this with anyone before…felt how I feel in this moment. I can’t exactly put it into words…”
Her hand dropped to my chest, no doubt feeling my heart pounding against it as her face softened. She leaned in to kiss me sweetly. The moment was ruined a few seconds later by a large wave that nearly knocked us over. She was back to sputtering out water and laughing as I pulled her toward the shore.
We wasted no time packing up and heading toward the house. I pulled her into the outdoor shower stall, our hands and mouths now exploring each other as we washed away the sand and salt and peeled our suits off. Once we were sufficiently clean, I wrapped her in a towel which she secured around her torso as I grabbed one to put around my waist.
She was barely through the sliding doors of the house before she dropped the towel and placed her palms on the island, arching her back toward me as she smiled seductively over her shoulder. I moved to stand behind her, gently running my fingertips up the center of her spine as her head dipped forward between her shoulders from the sensation. I felt her shiver as I made several passes up and down. On the last one, my fingertips continued upward, grazing the back of her neck before sinking my fingers into her hair, grabbing hold at the roots before tugging gently. She stood up straighter, melting into me as my left hand ran down the side of her body. I tugged her hair a little harder, angling her head to the side so I could access her neck to place gentle kisses along the length of it. Then, without warning, I smacked her ass. She moaned quietly. Another smack gave me the same result. Her breaths were coming faster now as the anticipation got to her.
My lips moved against her ear, “Tell me what you want, Kitten.”
Her eyes slid shut as she exhaled, “I want you to have your way with me…any way you want.”
I groaned against the side of her neck, “You’re gonna make me come saying shit like that.”
She chuckled, pressing her ass against me just a little more, which resulted in another smack. She smiled this time.
I tutted at her, “I think you like that…lean forward.”
She did so as I dropped down to my knees, giving the other cheek a couple of smacks for good measure before landing one right to her center, causing her to flutter around nothing. My hands found her thighs, massaging deeply as they moved upward to her hips. She was dripping wet and practically begging for more when I leaned forward and licked up her folds, causing her to cry out as she gripped the edge of the island until her knuckles turned white.
I dove into her cunt like a man starved, absolutely devouring her as my hands gripped her hips tightly to keep her from squirming. I had her falling apart within minutes as I sucked and licked at her bundle of nerves, giving the occasional slap to her ass as I worked. When she finally came, I didn’t stop or slow the pace, causing her to come for a second time in quick succession.
Her legs nearly gave out on the second one. So, I held her around the middle with one arm as I stood. After dropping the towel from my waist, I used my free hand to drag myself through her slick. She moaned quietly each time the head nudged against her over sensitive clit. After notching at her entrance, I sank in slowly. Taking my time so she could feel every inch slide in and out at the perfect angle.
I pulled her against my chest, one hand sliding around to grip under her chin, angling her face toward mine so I could see her. Her face was sweaty, flushed, and completely blissed out when she met my gaze. It had me feeling the same way I had when we were in the ocean. It felt like home. It felt like peace. I felt complete.
My forehead fell against hers, “You’re so fucking beautiful…perfect for me…never letting you go.”
I was babbling like a fool and completely losing myself as my other arm held her around the waist. She laced her fingers through mine, gripping my hand tightly as I clung to her. I know I said I would fuck her, but this was so much more than that. I kept the pace slow and languid, our breathing completely synced as we drowned in each other’s gaze.
I could feel Kat’s abdomen tighten as she quickly came again out of nowhere, squeezing me to the point that I could hardly move. Her jaw went slack, one of her hands flying up to twist into my hair as she let out a loud cry. I was seconds behind her, the feeling and intensity of her orgasm pulling me over the edge with her. My hand released her chin to reach for the counter as I attempted to steady myself, but it was no use.
My legs gave out, causing me to sink down to my knees - pulling Kat with me. I was somehow still pulsing and leaking inside of her as she melted against me.
I panted out a breathy, “Fuck…sorry. I-I…couldn’t stand…anymore. That was…intense.”
She sat on my thighs, both of us slumped against the side of the island as we tried to catch our breath. My arm around her tightened as I leaned in to kiss the side of her cheek. She turned, her lips seeking mine for a heated kiss that had me seeing stars.
When she finally pulled away, my attention was drawn to movement at my left. Kat’s eyes followed my line of sight and found Zee, who was sitting on the floor with her head tilted, her tail twitching from side to side as she looked up at us with concern? Confusion? Curiosity? I wasn’t really sure. Kat and I both burst into laughter, her leaning back into my chest as I hugged her snugly and laughed into her shoulder.
“Is this what it feels like when moms and dads get caught doing the dirty by the kids? Because I feel like that’s what just happened,” I said between chuckles.
Kat snorted out another laugh, “I dunno, but I think she’s kind of into it. She was totally watching.”
I gasped for air, “If that’s the case, she gets that shit from you. You’re the one who likes to watch.”
Kat leaned her head back against me, still laughing as I reached for a towel. I motioned for her to open her legs a bit to put it in place before I pulled out of her with a groan. Between the two of us, we had made an absolute mess of each other. We both shifted, stretching out on the tile because our legs still felt weak.
I sighed, glancing at the clock on the microwave, “I think we’re gonna be late for rehearsal.”
She waved a dismissive hand, “I don’t care…whatever that was…was totally worth it.”
We were late for rehearsal. Forty-five minutes late to be specific, but I really didn’t mind. There was more between us after that, somehow feeling more connected than we already were. Maybe it was just because of the intensity of everything. I couldn’t be sure. Whatever it was definitely carried over to our dancing. We were so on top of it, barely making the tiniest of mistakes. I felt newly energized and ready to win that fucking Mirrorball trophy as we went through the routine one last time.
Since we had a long day planned for Sunday and felt pretty on top of the choreography, we headed home early. There was no way to improve perfection after all.
Kat and I had just gotten home, and I was making some quick sandwiches for dinner when my cell rang. Lenny’s name flashed on the screen. I looked at the time, it was near 9:30 PM, which was sort of late for him. He tended to go to bed early since he got up before the sun rose most days. Worried something was up, I sucked some mayo off my fingers as I hurried to answer it.
“Hey Len…”
“What the hell have you been doing?” he barked out before I could even finish my greeting.
I winced, “What do you mean? I haven’t been doing anything.”
Kat’s wide eyes met mine in concern. I shrugged.
He sighed, “Who were you with today?”
I was so fucking confused, “I was at dance rehearsal with Kat. That’s the only place I’ve gone. Why?”
I could hear him shuffling papers around on his end of the line, “TMZ just called. They have pictures of you at the beach kissing a woman.”
I grimaced as my eyes shifted back to Kat. Fuck.
“How the hell did they get those? I was literally in my backyard on a private beach. There was no one else out there today.”
Lenny huffed, “Then you obviously have an asshole neighbor who wanted a quick buck.”
I sighed, “Fuck.” I switched the phone to speaker so Kat could hear, then I asked “Can you tell who it is in the pictures?”
“They’re asking if it’s Kat. Is it?”
Kat shrugged, waving her hand to go ahead and tell him the truth. “Can you tell who’s in the pictures?” I asked again.
He was quiet for a minute, obviously looking at them, “I mean…I can’t. Most of them are blurry. It’s pretty far away. I can definitely tell it’s you, but most of the pictures of the woman are from the back...Is it her?”
I scrunched my eyes shut as I rubbed at the bridge of my nose, “Tell them it’s not her…but yes, it’s her.”
He scoffed, “Fucking hell, Dieter. I thought we were done with this shit? What do you think you’re doing? Are you using again?”
My fists clenched together. I took a deep breath to calm myself as Kat came to stand next to me, placing a comforting hand on top of mine.
“No…I’m not fucking using again. It’s not like that Lenny, OK? This is different. We’re like…together. It’s not…not a fuck buddy situation or anything. I care about her.” I puffed air out of my cheeks in frustration, now pacing around the kitchen nervously as Kat watched me in silence.
“Look, we don’t want anyone to know yet. The producers can’t find out and the less that’s confirmed for Alec, the better. I need you and the team to keep this under wraps.”
Lenny was unusually quiet now. I didn’t know how to take that. “Len, you still with me?”
He cleared his throat, “Yeah, I’m just…processing. Does your therapist know about this? Is it really a good idea? I thought you weren’t getting involved with your co-stars anymore?”
I rolled my eyes, “Look, I’m tryin’ not to be pissed about this because I know where you’re coming from. It’s my fault, I earned that…but trust me when I say this is different. And yes, my therapist knows. She’s been supportive of it. She likes Kat.”
He sighed, “Ok, so how the hell are we supposed to handle this?”
I was still pacing as I talked through it, “Well…nothing we can do about the pictures. Maybe…”
I paused to think through my words before I continued, giving Kat a wide-eyed look as the idea sparked. “Maybe we take advantage of this. We say it’s not Kat…lie…say I’m seeing someone else but wish to protect her privacy. Use it as a misdirection…It might help settle the rumors about us and get the producers, Alec, and the paparazzi off her back some.”
Lenny chuckled, “You really think your publicist is gonna go for that?”
I shrugged even though he couldn’t see me, “I kind of don’t care. I’m going with it. I’ll head it off and do a cryptic Instagram post. Besides, it might be fun to fuck with Stacia and Joe some. I wanna see their heads explode when they realize their fairytale showmance isn’t happening after all.”
Kat snorted out a laugh over that one. She obviously thought it was funny, but I did want her input before I did anything.
“Kat, are you good with that? I don’t wanna do anything without your consent.”
She nodded, “It is a funny thought to be honest. I’m cool with it. They’ve been fucking with us this whole time. It’s time to beat them at their own game.”
I turned back to my phone, “You hear that, Len? This is probably gonna cause a little mayhem, but we’re here for it.”
He grumbled, “Your publicist is gonna murder both of us.”
I chuckled, “Not my problem…better start making some calls because I’m posting something as soon as we hang up.”
“Ugh, fine. Ok. This is all on you though.”
I smiled, “Thanks Len, you’re the best. We’ll talk soon.”
He grumbled some more then hung up without even saying goodbye.
I turned to Kat and smiled nervously, “Well, looks like we have a project to do tonight. We need to look through my camera roll…just…don’t judge me for what you find.”
Her brows furrowed, “Do I even wanna know what that means?”
I shrugged, “I mean…it’s just full of pictures of Zee and plants…and you.”
Her brows arched, “Oh, really?”
I grimaced as my face heated, “Yeah, I may have saved a few I found online…and I sneak pictures of you frequently.”
She shook her head and laughed, “I can’t wait to see this…”
As we sat eating our sandwiches, I handed my phone over. Kat scrolled in silence, an occasional smirk on her face before glancing up at me and shaking her head. After several minutes, her phone pinged a few times before she finally slid mine back over to me with a smile.
“What did you just do?” I asked.
Her smile widened, “I sent myself some pictures of you and Zee.”
I leaned toward her, narrowing my eyes slightly. “Maybe I need to check your camera roll…”
Her eyes widened, “Umm…mine is far more scandalous. I’ve saved some pictures of my own. You’ve done a lot of salacious photoshoots, you know that?”
I chuckled, “Ahh, filling up the spank bank then. I’m flattered.” I gave her a cocky grin and waggled my eyebrows, “If you want some nudes all you have to do is ask. I might even let you take them yourself.”
She shot a mischievous look over her glass as she took a sip, “Don’t give me any ideas…”
I grabbed my phone, snickering as I unlocked it. “So, I think the backlit picture of you and Zee, you painting, lying in bed from behind, and then the one you took of me in the pool kissing your leg will do. I don’t feel like it's obvious that’s you in those pictures. I’ll just do a whole photo dump and keep it vague. Let them speculate away.”
She huffed out a laugh, “You’re about to cause all kinds of chaos with this.”
I nodded, “Probably. I’ve never posted cutesy pictures of a woman before. It’s definitely making a statement…”
(More after the graphic.)
The post did indeed cause chaos. Likes and comments began to flood in - most of them asking if it was Kat in the pictures. I responded to exactly one person with, “Did I tag Kat? No.”
That set off a whole new onslaught of chatter and speculation. Kat egged it on by liking the original post and my comment. I could only imagine how my publicist was handling this. I was sure her head was probably about to explode.
When I woke up on Sunday morning, Kat was lying against my chest with her leg thrown across mine. She was still asleep, so I reached over to the nightstand to grab my phone without waking her. I was almost afraid to see what awaited me when I opened Instagram. I found more of the same stuff from the previous night. It was officially my most liked and most commented post ever.
I took a moment, taking in the sight before me. Ehh, we can do better than that.
As if I wasn’t already causing enough trouble, I took a short video clip of my hand rubbing along Kat’s bare leg. It was obvious we were tangled up in bed, wrapped in nothing but sheets with a nice view of the ocean outside the French doors. I posted it. There was no caption, only emojis, “👉👌🤯🤯🤯😏”
I threw in a few hashtags too, #PerfectMorning #MindBlown #WouldntChangeAThing
(More after the graphic.)
I was patiently awaiting a call from my publicist after that. She really might murder me over this one.
I sat with a smug smile as I watched the comments roll in. One in particular caught my attention.
Beasty45: I really hope you’re not screwing Kat over too. She deserves better.
I had to appreciate the sentiment behind it and really hated people thinking that way. So, I hit reply.
BangingBravo1: Wow. Never. She’s my bestie. All is well. 👍👍
It wasn’t a lie. She was my best friend as far as I was concerned.
I felt Kat stir against me. She groaned, hiding her face against my chest, “What time is it?”
I looked at the time, “You’ve got ten minutes before the alarm goes off.”
She let out another groan as her eyes blinked open, “What are you doing?”
I snickered and handed her my phone, “Causing more chaos.”
She squinted at the screen, then rolled her eyes as she handed it back to me with a laugh. “Now everyone knows you had a night of mind-blowing sex. Wonderful.”
“I know. I’m in trouble.”
As if on cue, a text message popped up from my publicist.
Janine: What the fuck are you doing?!?! Stop it. Now.
I cackled, tilting the phone toward Kat so she could see it, “That’s tame for her. I usually get a call with lots of yelling. Trust me. She’s dealt with worse.”
Kat shook her head, sighing heavily, “Today is gonna be interesting…”
We crawled out of bed soon after that to get ready for the day. We had a morning rehearsal slot, so that was first on our agenda. We had the routine down by this point, so we just focused on cleaning things up and tried not to wear ourselves out too much.
After rehearsal, we had our weekly spray tan. As we were walking into Television City Studios, I realized that I had a missed text from Janine from earlier in the day saying that TMZ had posted the article and pictures, so that was now out there for the world to see. They had to add an addendum once they realized I had made the social media posts, completely spoiling their 'breaking story'.
(More after the graphic.)
Kat and I were thankful the staff got us in and out quickly for the spray tan because we were definitely getting some looks and whispers. I imagine the confusion was spreading because we were fairly certain the majority of the cast thought we were together. We couldn’t help laughing about it as we left, wondering if Joe and Stacia had heard the news yet.
Kat ran to her house to check on things and pick up her guitar while I went home to feed Zee her dinner. Zee was in full menace mode as she tried to smack things off the counter while I prepared her food. It seemed to be her new favorite pastime, apparently enjoying getting me in a tizzy. She knew what she was doing, freezing mid shove when I would lock eyes with her. I concluded that she must think it’s some sort of game. A game that was fun for her and a nightmare for me. I ended up shooing her out of the kitchen so I could work in peace.
As I was finishing up with Zee’s gourmet meal, Kat came into the kitchen. Her brows furrowed as she pointed her finger to something behind me and busted out her best mom voice, “Zee, don’t you dare.”
I turned to see what the hell she was up to now, my eyes landing on her as she shoved a small potted succulent off the window sill. Luckily the pot did not break, but dirt spilled everywhere.
I sighed, “Why is this a thing all of a sudden?”
Zee meowed as she jumped down to rub against Kat’s legs and shot me some nasty side eye. Kat snickered as she shooed Zee away so she could clean up the mess.
“Maybe you’re not preparing her food fast enough. Best get to it, cat daddy.”
I huffed, “She messes with me, and I’ll go get some of that cheap nasty pellet garbage and she can have that. Little punk…”
Kat laughed at me as I continued to grumble about Zee’s impatience while Zee rubbed up against my legs and yelled at me until I finally set her plate down on the food mat. Zee rushed to her plate and ate with enthusiasm. I rolled my eyes at her as I turned to Kat, “All right, now that the diva is taken care of…you ready to go?”
Kat nodded, “Yep. Let’s get this sideshow on the road.”
My hand found its way to her hip and squeezed gently as I leaned in to give her a quick peck on the lips, “I should probably be offended by that, but it might actually be an accurate description…of me anyway.”
She playfully pushed my shoulder and laughed, “At least you’re aware. Let’s go.”
On the drive to Marc’s house, I could feel a twinge of anxiety forming in the pit of my stomach since I didn’t really know what to expect. From what I knew about Marc, he was a family man and seemed pretty drama free as far as his public persona was concerned. That helped some, but that didn’t mean there wouldn’t be alcohol or other things floating around. I knew it was something I would have to face eventually, but I wasn’t sure how ready for it I actually was. However, one glance in Kat’s direction suppressed those feelings. I knew she had my back, and I knew I would never do anything to let her down.
A short time later we pulled into Marc’s driveway and made our way to the front door. He greeted us, making small talk as he led us out to the back patio where he introduced us to his wife Valarie, and Stefanie’s partner, Kira. He was cooking hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill while everyone else sat around and chatted. So, as these things go, I joined him at the grill while Kat joined the ladies. We went into more small talk about the show, rehearsals, how I was feeling about ballroom dancing in general. It was all pretty surface level. Then, he asked me if I wanted a drink as he moved toward a cooler. I was taken off guard and sort of froze up.
He seemed to sense my hesitation as he opened the lid, giving me a gentle smile, “I’ve got water, a couple different kinds of soda, and if you’re feeling really adventurous…some juice boxes.”
I visibly relaxed as a smile tugged at my lips, “Water…please.”
His smile widened as he pulled a bottle out of the ice and handed it to me. He grabbed a juice box for himself, unwrapping the straw and stabbing it into the top with pursed lips. “Sorry, I probably should have worded that differently. I know you're sober.”
I shook my head and waved it off, “No big deal. Don’t even worry about it.”
His brows furrowed, eyes shifting up to meet mine as he took a quick pull from the straw before setting the drink down beside the grill. “No, I get it. I’m eight years sober myself. I remember how hard and awkward it was in those early days. People can be weird when you say you don’t drink…or do anything else for that matter.”
I nodded, “Yeah, I’ve been lucky enough to not run into that yet. I’ve been keeping to myself a lot…”
He picked up the tongs to flip the patties on the grill, “So how long has it been for you?”
I screwed the cap off the water and took a swig, “Ten months. Longest I’ve ever been sober since all that shit started.”
He smiled, “That’s good. When you hit a year, we’ll have to do something to celebrate. That’s a big deal.”
I nodded, feeling warmth creeping up my cheeks from the praise. “Yeah, I mean…I think I owe Kat for a lot of it. She’s been so supportive when others haven’t…It makes a lot of difference when you have people in your corner.”
Marc nodded, “That’s so true. I never would have made it without Val. She held me to it, and I’m so thankful for that.” He paused, turning toward me with raised brows. “You know, if you ever need to talk about it or anything…I don’t mind. Sometimes it helps to talk through things with someone that’s been there. Especially if you’re having a moment…”
He pulled out his phone, “No pressure, but we can exchange digits that way you have it.”
I reached to pull my phone out of my pocket, “Yeah…sure. That’s really nice of you actually.”
I gave him my new number, then he sent me a text message so I could save his to my contact list. That was a development I wasn’t expecting, but I was strangely happy about it. I suddenly felt much better about how the evening was going to go. Kat caught my eye, giving me a questioning look. Something must have shifted about my body language, and she could sense it. I smirked, giving her a quick wink before taking another drink of water.
My attention shifted back to Marc as he handed me a large platter to hold while he piled the different meats on top of it, announcing the food was ready. We settled into easy conversation as we ate, getting to know one another a little better. Everyone seemed at ease. There was no pressure or awkwardness. It was nice to have normal conversation without all the posturing and cockiness that often came with Hollywood type gatherings. It was exactly what I needed.
As we all became more comfortable with each other, they got a little braver with their questions. Which led to Stefanie giving Kat and I a deadpan stare before asking, “So what’s really going on with you two? I’m not buying whatever shit TMZ put out today.”
Kat and I gave each other a nervous glance, I shrugged and held my hand up in surrender toward her indicating I was good with whatever she wanted to say.
She took a deep breath, smiling nervously as her eyes roamed around the table, “Well…we’re…”
She paused, her brows arching as her eyes found mine again. “I mean yeah…we’re together, but we’re trying to keep it under wraps…for several reasons.”
They were all smiling at us now. Stefanie threw her arms in the air like she had just won something, “I fucking knew it! I knew it. How long?”
Kat and I laughed at her enthusiasm. “Not long. Just since New York,” I answered.
Stefanie playfully shoved Marc, “I fucking told you. You owe me $100.”
Marc rolled his eyes, “Fine, I’ll Venmo you.”
Kat and I both scoffed, laughing over the fact they were making bets.
Marc pulled out his phone and began tapping away, “Don’t worry guys, we won’t say anything. I know Alec is an issue.”
Kat gave him a tight smile, “Yeah, we figured it best not to provoke him as much as possible. He’s looking for any excuse he can find to make what happened be my fault. There’s also Stacia and Joe with their meddling…I don’t want to give them the satisfaction of thinking they had anything to do with this.”
Valarie’s brows furrowed, “So what’s with the beach pictures and social media posts then?”
I chuckled, “Well, I apparently have an asshole neighbor that took pictures of us in what is essentially my back yard and sold them to TMZ. They reached out to my team asking if it was Kat, so I told them to deny it. I’m just gonna play it off like I’m seeing someone else…a total misdirection. At minimum, it’ll cause a little chaos and make Stacia and Joe lose their shit. We’ll see how long it lasts.”
Everyone laughed. Stefanie clapped her hands several times before announcing, “If anyone asks, we’ve all met Dieter’s new woman and she’s amazing. I’m totally backing this chaos.”
Agreements sounded out around the table which had Kat and I leaning into each other and laughing. We relaxed some after that. Now that our secret was out, I felt more comfortable showing affection toward her and her toward me. It was nice not to have to hold back, to be able to reach out and touch her when I wanted to, to put my arm around her or rest my hand on her thigh. At least we now felt like we had a safe space among friends.
Marc eventually steered the conversation to Kat’s plans after this season ended, which was something she and I hadn’t really discussed. We had been very much in the present up to this point and I was suddenly feeling like an asshole for not asking about it myself.
Kat’s excitement was clear as she answered, “Well, I’m really hoping to open up my own dance studio…and I would love to offer some classes for things that are a little harder to find around here. I still need to do more market research to see how that would look, but we can always have the normal stuff to fall back on too. I haven’t got to put as much work into yet as I would like, but once the show is over, I’m gonna jump in head first and see what happens.”
Marc seemed extremely interested in this, leaning forward with excitement in his eyes, “That’s amazing. I was actually considering doing the same. I still haven’t decided if I’m gonna do another season or not…but I did want to look at something like that when I’m finished. Maybe we can team up.”
Everyone began to throw ideas around at that point. It seemed like there was a real possibility something was brewing. I made a mental note to bring it up with Kat again later. I wanted to make sure I was supportive and help in any way I could. I also liked the thought of helping her plan for the future, because I really hoped that I would be welcomed as part of it.
After we finished up with dinner, we moved to the garage. Marc had converted the space to his “Jam Room”. It was full of various instruments - a piano in one corner while a drum set sat in the other. Several different types of guitars hung on the wall along with some small handheld percussion instruments. Microphones and small speakers sat around the room. It seemed to be a proper setup for making music, which surprised me. I wasn’t expecting to walk into this.
Kat looked almost giddy as she took in the space, which surprised me. She seemed to be coming out of her shell, which was understandable. They did well to make us feel welcome and relaxed.
Marc pulled an electric guitar down from the wall while Kira took her place at the drums, making it obvious they had done this before. Marc began to strum a slow sexy tune as Kira joined in with a beat. Stefanie started dancing around the room to the music as Valarie sat down at the piano. My gaze turned to Kat, she looked amused as her eyes met mine.
I smiled, arching my brows as my head began to sway with the music. She laughed, her cheeks flushing as she watched me move. I took it up a few notches, rolling my torso and hips as I shuffled toward her. I raised my arms, moving them to the beat, biting my bottom lip as I enticed her to join me. I was dancing for her, showing her what else these loose hips can do outside of the ballroom.
“What’s the matter, honey? Too hot for you?” I asked.
I could hear everyone else chuckling behind me as I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the center of the room to do a little old fashioned dirty dancing. When the song concluded, I pulled her in for a quick kiss and everyone whooped and whistled, which had her blushing even more. Once everyone settled down, I leaned in next to her ear, “Want me to go get your guitar?”
She gave me a toothy grin and nodded. After another quick kiss, I made my way outside to the car. I was back with both of our cases within minutes as Marc found a couple more chairs and microphones for us to join the circle. A couple of hours passed by in no time as we took turns choosing songs to play. Those who knew them joined in while the others just vibed. It was honestly the most fun I had in a long time.
Stefanie asked if she could take some videos to post on social media. We all agreed, figuring it would be good content to promote the show since we were supposed to be doing that anyway. I felt less weird about it since it was a whole group of people from the cast, rather than just Kat and me. I still felt pretty strongly about not taking advantage of our relationship to boost my own career. Deep down I knew that any content of us together would do that, but I did want to have some limits on it. She wasn’t a plaything for me to use as I saw fit. It needed to be on her terms.
After several minutes passed, Marc suggested that we go live and maybe take some song requests from the chat and answer some fan questions. After some coaxing, we all agreed. As Marc worked to set up the tripod, Stefanie turned to me with a mischievous smile, “Dieter, please try and behave yourself around Kat. I don’t wanna be on TMZ tomorrow for encouraging an affair that will destroy your imaginary girlfriend’s heart.”
That drew a round of laughter from everyone as I scrunched up my face, “I guess I already have a reputation…I’ll try my best.”
Once Marc had his phone set up, he mirrored his screen to one of the TV’s hanging on the wall so we could all see the chat, then we went live. Within minutes there were over two thousand viewers. The numbers only climbed from there, with people posting in all caps about Kat and I being there.
Kat snickered and pointed at the screen, “I guess the Dieterina Stans found us already.”
We waved and said ‘hi’ to everyone. Since it was Marc’s Instagram account, we motioned for him to take over and share what was going on. The song recommendations began to roll in, with Marc and Stefanie taking the lead on the first two. After that, the chat flooded with requests for me and Kat to sing. I deferred to her on that, asking if she wanted to do one. She shrugged, then asked the viewers for some song recs. We laughed over some of the options thrown out as she joked about them not being her style. Suddenly her brows arched as if something caught her attention. A smirk formed on her lips, “Hmm, that one is certainly a mood.”
We all gave her a questioning look. “Which one?” I asked.
She pulled the lyrics and chords up on her phone and propped it on the stand in front of us. I couldn’t help cackling. It would definitely send a message.
She turned to everyone else, “You guys know Eyes on Fire by Blue Foundation?"
Stefanie bounced up and down, laughing maniacally and clapping her hands. Probably having the same thought that I did. “I do! I’ll do the backup vocals.”
I swapped out my acoustic for one of Marc’s electric guitars for this one, playing the intro as Kat and Stefanie started in on the ethereal vocables that the song opens with. Kat’s voice took on an almost haunting melancholic tone as she dove into the first verse. The smirk still graced her lips as a knowing look passed between us. This was totally a major ‘fuck you’ to Alec, and I knew I was going to love every second of it.
🎶Listen to Eyes on Fire Here.
I'll seek you out / Flay you alive / One more word and you won't survive / And I'm not scared / Of your stolen power / I see right through you any hour I won't soothe your pain / I won't ease your strain / You've been waiting in vain / I've got nothing for you to gain
It was hard not to be absolutely mesmerized by her as she worked her way through the lyrics. It was obvious to me that something had finally shifted for her. She had taken back her life and was owning it - putting it out there for the world to see. She had escaped hell and was now controlling the narrative. It was her game to play. I loved seeing her like this, free to be herself and not holding back. It was a beautiful sight. My infatuation with her was probably written all over my face as I strummed the chords to the song, but I didn’t care. She was stunning like this.
Stefanie continued to sing the background vocals as Kat moved on to the next verse. Her eyes focused on me hungrily, our connection causing the air around us to vibrate. There was just something about us and music. It didn’t matter if we were dancing, playing, or singing. It caused an electricity to buzz around us, linking us together in a metaphysical way.
I'm taking it slow / Feeding my flame / Shuffling the cards of your game / And just in time / In the right place / Suddenly I will play my ace I won't soothe your pain / I won't ease your strain / You've been waiting in vain / I've got nothing for you to gain
At this point, the song was reaching the crescendo. Kira joined in with the drums and Marc with the bass guitar. I layered my vocals along with Kat’s, the sound even more haunting now as we finished out the final verse.
Eyes on fire / Your spine is ablaze / Felling any foe with my gaze / And just in time / In the right place / Steadily emerging with grace / Felling any foe with my gaze / Steadily emerging with grace
The chat was going absolutely insane when we finished. I thought I even saw a few “fuck Alec” comments fly by in the chaos of it.
Stefanie began to clap again, “I think we should start a band. We’re kicking ass here.”
We all laughed as she turned to me, “Alright Bravo, you’re up. Whatta ya got?”
I pursed my lips, “I dunno, I’m open to suggestions…”
We watched the chat flood with comments, there were a few song recommendations but there were even more questions.
Where’s Bravo’s new lady? Funny how everyone else has their romantic partner there except for Dieter. Dieter is so full of shit. We all know it’s Kat. Yo Bravo, where’s your beach babe? We wanna meet her! Has Kat met Dieter’s new girl?
I let out a nervous laugh as I glanced at Kat. She winked then gave me a mischievous smile before turning to the camera, “Guys chill. Yes, I’ve met Dieter’s significant other. I know her very well. We’re all friends.”
I chuckled, “Yeah, don’t worry. She’s not being left out…she’s here with me.”
This is the biggest conspiracy since the moon landing. I’m too high for this shit. What’s even happening? I thought he was gay? This hurts my soul. You two are made for each other! #Dieterina #NotJustFriends Maybe it's a throuple situation. No way they haven’t boned. Poor Kat, she's like the 7th wheel now.
I couldn’t help laughing at the comments, “Guys, come on, be nice…back to the song recs please.”
A song title finally caught my attention. I took a minute to check in with Kira and Marc to see if they were familiar with it before adjusting the mic so that I could stand for this one. I needed to be able to move around a bit. Once I was situated, Marc got us started with the opening guitar riff for The Devil Wears Lace. It was a nice little blues song about desire, temptation, attraction, and obsession.
Kat, Stefanie, and Val provided entertainment by dancing around us. It was all good fun until Kat’s eyes locked with mine. Her moves became more provocative as she approached me. By the time I hit the chorus she was the only thing I could focus on.
🎶Listen to The Devil Wears Lace Here.
So light me in flames / Just as hot as you need / Let me see the good girl you wanted to be / All of my praise, only from me / I can be the one who could set you free / Fall from your grace / Turn up the heat / I feel I'm going down, hands gripping the sheets / Settin' the pace / Number the beast / Got me by the belt, heart skippin' a beat / The devil and me
She moved around me, against me, up and down my body. I played into it of course, wiggling against her as I belted out the lyrics - both of us giving each other mischievous smiles. This was definitely going to get the conspiracy theories going. I couldn’t bother to care because she looked so fucking hot dancing like this. The slow sensual roll of her body was a sight to behold, and it was all mine. I loved to see her let loose and have fun like this.
When the song ended, she strutted away before bursting into laughter. It was a little infectious, causing me to do the same. The chuckles of everyone else drew my attention to the monitor. The comments had gone completely unhinged by this point.
They definitely fucked, at least once. Nobody pay attention to that vibrating sound… This is how pornos start. I’m not mad about it. So, IT IS a throuple then? I think Dieter’s secret lady likes to watch. I don’t blame her…Kat’s ass is a work of art. I’m still calling it a conspiracy. Kat is the beach chic. I know that ass and those thighs.
I huffed out a laugh and shook my head, “Can we not talk about Kat like that please? She’s not a piece of meat.”
Kat snorted out a laugh as she squeezed my arm in thanks. Marc jumped in to try and redirect the conversation, “Alright guys…I think one more and we’re gonna call it a night since we do have a rather long day tomorrow.”
He paused, obviously reading the comments about the show before chuckling, “Oh obviously Stefanie and I are gonna win the trophy.”
I laughed, “Hey now! We’ve gone all night without trash talking. Don’t you start…besides, obviously Kat and I are gonna win. I’m gonna call it though, we’ll be the top two groups. Nobody is beating us.”
Marc rolled his eyes, “Yeah, don’t try to sweet talk me after insulting me.”
Stefanie cut in, placing her hands on her hips as she spoke, “Now boys. Let’s play nice or Kat and I will drop you both and claim the win for ourselves.”
Marc and I both rolled our eyes in response as Val cut in, “Hey, how about we stop bickering and end with that song we did earlier. That was a good one…”
Marc and I both furrowed our brows, waiting for her to continue. She chuckled at our similar expressions before answering, “All on My Mind.”
We nodded as I shouted, “Ok…Kat we’re up.”
Kat and I took our place, sharing a freestanding mic as everyone jumped in with their instruments. I took lead, singing the main verses while Kat joined in on the chorus, alternating the lines.
🎶 Listen to All on My Mind Here.
I said, "Oh, honey, just like that" / I give you my loving and you give it right back / I said, "Oh, honey, just like this" / Hanging on white knuckle grip
Kat and I sang together for the remainder of the chorus while the rest of the group jumped in on the repeated lines.
It's all on my mind / Feel something when I kiss you good night / It's all on my mind / Feel something when I open my eyes / It's all on my mind / Feel that I could be your sweetest compromise / It's all on my mind / It's all on my mind
Our eyes stayed on each other, big smiles on our lips as we belted out the words in unison. I couldn’t deny that we sounded amazing together. Our voices complemented each other perfectly, especially when we leaned into the bluesy sounds of the music. Hell, truth be told, we all sounded pretty amazing as a group. Nothing could compare to how it felt singing with Kat though. We finished out the last verse together, completely at ease and having fun.
Well, me and my baby are the bass in the beat / A lo-fi rhythm, the sweat and the heat / Come on now lover, won't you follow my lead / And we'll move on into the night
The energy in the room was high as we finished it out after everyone gave it their all on the chorus refrain. It was probably the best one of the night. The chat was going wild with praise for everyone, but Kat and I were getting most of the attention.
Can we just get this crew their own show? So much more entertaining. 🙌 Dieter and Kat are amazing together. 😍😍😍 I had no idea Dieter Bravo had this much talent. Kat, marry me. I’m NOT an asshole. 🙏🙏 Both? Both. Yes. 😏
We all said our goodbyes after that, promising to do another live soon since we had so much fun together. Once Marc disconnected, we all broke into a fit of laughter.
Marc was still chuckling as he said, “I’m sure Stacia and Joe are gonna have a lot to say about that.”
“Yeah, I’m sure my publicist will too. I’ve done nothing but cause chaos all day,” I replied.
Kat came over, snaking her arm around my waist. She fought a smile as she leaned into me, “And, the plot thickens. Apparently, we’re in a throuple with your mystery lady now.”
I shook my head, “Yeah…I’m not even upset about that. I’ve been accused of worse things. I’m not sharing my Kit Kat though…” I paused, reaching down to swat her butt cheek, “This is Bravo’s ass.”
Her eyes darkened as she attempted to give me an admonishing look, but she failed. She was totally turned on by that.
My brow arched as she fought a smile. We were completely oblivious to everyone’s amused eyes on us. When we finally turned to look at them, a blush crept up Kat’s cheeks.
I cleared my throat, “Well, everyone…this was fun. We should do it again.”
They all nodded with knowing smiles. “We should probably…uhh…head out. We all have a ridiculously early start in the morning and I wanna be well rested so I can kick your ass on the dance floor.”
Marc and Stefanie both gave me a deadpan stare before flipping the bird, causing me to let out a boisterous laugh. “Ahh, I think I’ve finally found my people.”
Kat and I said our goodbyes, grabbing our guitar cases then heading out the door. The air around us was thick on the drive home. Kat definitely didn’t help the situation with her hand wandering dangerously close to a very much at attention little Bravo. Her eyes cut toward me with a smirk on her lips every time she did it.
We started pulling each other’s clothes off as soon as we walked through the door. We may not have gone to bed at a decent hour, but we definitely fell asleep happy and satiated.
Monday mornings meant performance day. We followed our usual routine, arriving at Television City studios extremely early so we could get our camera blocking out of the way first. That went smoothly and we nailed the routine on each run through. We were feeling pretty confident about it as we headed toward wardrobe for our final fitting.
Kat’s costume for the week really had my attention. There was just something about her in red. It looked amazing against her dark features and golden skin, giving her a sultry edge. This dress was no exception, the way it draped around her body and gathered in the back accentuated her curves in the best way. Her back and shoulders were completely exposed, emphasizing the muscular contours. This was an area that I had never given much attention to on woman, but hers were so fucking sexy. I couldn't help staring as she raised her arms and turned this way and that for Amy to pin bits of fabric for some minor alterations. The image was seared into my brain, I knew it would be the subject of one of my paintings later.
I ended up ditching the jacket and tie that went with my costume. It felt too constricting for the choreography of this dance. Before it was all said and done, I only wore the red pants and red velvety button up shirt - leaving several buttons open and rolling up the sleeves, at Kat’s request, of course.
(More after the graphics.)
Hair and makeup were pretty uneventful. We managed to snag our usual ladies, filling our time with banter and jokes as they worked. They gave Kat a sleek up-do this time. I swear she rolled her eyes every time they added a new bobby pin. I sort of didn’t mind it though, because I knew I would be the one to help her take them all out later. She suggested they leave my hair in loose curls this week. To my surprise, they actually did. However, they still put a shit ton of gel and hairspray in it to my dismay.
We had managed to avoid Alec and Lana the entire morning. We assumed he was hiding out in his dressing room as much as he could. Word seemed to be spreading about what an absolute asshole he was to Kat, and many didn’t take too kindly to it. He was no longer the popular one of the cast and Kat loved every second of it. His ego was definitely taking a hit, which was the one thing that would hurt him the most.
We could only be lucky for so long. Alec and Lana were already in the staging area when we got there. He didn’t even bother to try and hide the disdain on his still slightly bruised face. Lana kept shooting glances our way with an odd expression. It was almost smug, maybe? I couldn’t quite figure it out. Kat and I made sure to watch ourselves since the backstage cameras were circling like sharks, being sure to keep our interactions friendly between each other. We also made a point to not look Alec and Lana’s way after the initial sizing up. We didn’t want to give the producers anything to work with.
Kat did the opening performance with Marc and the rest of their group, then rushed to change. I stayed with her the entire time, not chancing leaving her alone while the asshole was in the same building. There would not be another repeat of what happened after New York.
Alec and Lana were two performances ahead of us, still doing very well and obtaining a high score. They scored 2 points under Marc and Stefanie, which put them in second place for the night. If Kat and I had it our way, they would soon be in third.
We went through our usual routine of picking a hype song. I took the lead again this week, pulling up one of my favorite rock songs, You Shook Me All Night Long. Kat gave me that little smirk that I loved so damn much as she shook her head and laughed at me. I shrugged before transitioning into some of my goofy dance moves - pursing my lips as I wiggled my hips. She joined in of course, laughing at my ridiculousness through the entirety of it.
Before we knew it, it was our turn. Kat took her place in the center of the dance floor. As the music began to play, I walked toward her seductively, caressing her cheek as I circled her before grazing her nose with mine. After fanning her outward, our fast paced choreography synced with the quick beat of the Spanish style guitars. We commanded the attention of the room with our strong staccato footwork and vivacious presence. It was every bit as dramatic as we had intended it to be.
I’ll admit, I was nervous about my solo part. Up until this point, I hadn’t really had choreography this challenging without Kat by my side. The quick and precise body movements along with the flamenco style footwork while trying to exude assertive energy really was a lot of work. However, we only had to do it once. I didn’t have to pace myself for hours of rehearsal time, which meant I put everything I had into it. By the time I reunited with Kat to finish out the last part of the routine, I was feeling pretty damn cocky about the whole thing. The cockiness only added to the overall effect and took the performance over the top.
Kat’s movements were fluid and graceful as she danced around me, waving her flowy skirt. We continued with the stomping footwork, shaping our arms and hands into dramatic poses as we sidestepped each other. The electricity between us was buzzing at max levels as it always did when we performed together. The intensity of her gaze nearly took my breath away the handful of times our eyes connected. We were both in the zone and fucking killing it. We ended with a dramatic lift. I caught her by the hand before she fell back onto the floor for a dip to end it.
I pulled her upward and wrapped my arms around her as the crowd’s near deafening screams and applause sounded around us. I had to fight the urge to crash my lips against hers at that moment. There was so much adrenaline and passion between us that I could have burst into flames from it. I wanted nothing more than to get her home and work some of it off.
We went through the whole routine of doing the interview and waiting for our scores. With massive effort, we managed to keep our hands off each other in any inappropriate way. The whole thing was a blur. I don’t think I paid a lick of attention to anything the judges actually said. All I know is we got another perfect score, putting us in first place - again. To our surprise, we were met with more cheers than usual from the cast. Marc and Stefanie were the loudest among them of course.
Marc and Stefanie invited us out for a celebratory dinner afterwards. I left it up to Kat. She declined, citing how this week had worn her out and she wanted to go home and get some rest before we woke up to do it all over again. They were bummed but understanding. I was a little bummed too, until we walked through the door at my place.
Kat was definitely not as worn out as she let on, dragging me upstairs to the bedroom, peeling clothes off as we went. After a rather passionate round of sex, I made sure to give her a lot of aftercare that included a massage and hot bath while I made her some dinner. She might not have been feeling it right then with the rush of endorphins we both had surging through our veins, but I knew she would be soon. This week had been rough, and I wanted to see to it that she was properly taken care of so that we were ready to take on whatever week 8 had in store for us.
✨Fun Fact: The song that Dieter and Kat are dancing to is this chapter is called Uccen, which translate to "The Wolf". Given that Dieter wears that little wolf ring, I found it fitting.
✨Your Paso Doble video for this chapter can be found HERE. Seriously, one of the best performances ever. It won and Emmy! This couple is married in real life and always burn up the dance floor when they perform.
Next: Week 8
A/N: So, this got posted a couple days later than I had planned. It was a doozy to edit and I'm sure I probably missed a lot. I do apologize but work did indeed kick my ass last week. Hopefully it was worth the wait.
We got lots of smutty goodness in this chapter. I 100% blame Mr. Pascal for his holiday beach antics. There was just too much inspiration. Some of it was planned and some of it wasn't. I'm not sorry.
Dieter and Kat are getting pretty close. They are completely embedding each other in the other's life. All of Dieter's people know now and Kat's sister knows. Dieter is pouring his heart out and sharing about his past, yet Kat is still in her head about everything. Do we smell drama brewing there?
They've also made some new friends. How are we feeling about Marc and crew? Good or bad?
Dieter has started his Instagram live shit. More to come on that. Also...his Instagram posts, that man is stirring up all the drama with those. Good or bad idea?
Zee got some love in this chapter. I love me some good Dee and Zee drama. They are both shit heads and we love them for that.
There was so much that went down in this chapter that I can't think of what all to highlight. So, please do show some love with a reblog and sound off about it. I wanna hear all the unhinged thoughts!
Week 8 will bring us the Viennese Waltz, and with that comes LOTS of drama. Y'all might want to have a tissue handy, because the shit is going to hit the fan.
Until next time,
💜Mysty
Chapter Credits: - Giving @avastrasposts credit for the SuccDee name. She saw it when I didn't, even though it was right there. -Major credit to @bitchwitch1981 for song inspo. She turned me onto The Devil Wears Lace and All on My Mind.
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