#and again I didn't go into as much detail as I could have with this dream

[summertiide]

hence nothing remains except for our regrets

sometimes you just gotta smash your interests together like playdough!!! here's the Great God Grove gods in OFF's style!

shoutout to @weirdalchemy for the sketch of Huzzle Mug's pose and a ton of help in working out the other ones!

the full-sized + unsprited sketches / some assorted rambling under the cut!

turning them into little 200px max sprites lost some of the detail i really enjoyed on some of them (thespius basically lost all of his hair flowers, and bauhauzzo lost a few nice rock-chipping details i was super fond of u_u), so i figured i'd include my sketches also!

a few extra design notes from while i was trying to figure everything out

i wanted to keep Miss Mitternacht really simple, and tried to lean into the early-game boss sort of look! (i was also trying to remember how to get the sketchy-pencil texture to translate into the smaller versions, oops)

Cobigail and Inspekta were the first ones i thought of when i decided to make all of them! Cobigail's jumpscare face was an instant pick, even if i lost all of those extra little lines in the spriting process

drawing typewriters is a nightmare. people who draw Click Clack all the time at his typewriter are stronger than i could possibly imagine

i got stuck on Thespius for a while, and he was the second to last one i finished - he's a lover, not a fighter!!! i wound up sort of trying to take an angle similar to Sugar's in OFF, an optional boss who you have to deliberately go for (i have this distinct vision in my mind of a boss track for him called "Swansong")

Bauhauzzo is meant to look kind of stuck in the ground, like an obelisk!

Inspekta was taken for sort of a "busted doll" look, from that bit in the art book where they said he was animated to "move like a plushie"! he was my favorite of the bunch to work on, even if the hands were kind of a Situation

it was kind of a bummer that more of King's eye-veil didn't turn out in the sprite, but i couldn't quite find a way to make it show up without making it hide her face too much! people drawing her posing with the sword was a huge source of inspiration, though, it just felt right

i might do more of these sometime soon - maybe the Bizzyboys as a sort of group fight? i also thought about doing a Godpoke Batter type of look but i couldn't quite figure out how to finagle that, but i may try again later on!

[kedreeva]

Well, I've had a bit of a rough week. A deer totaled my (new-to-me I've-only-had-it-a-year) car when it rammed headlong into to side of it on a dark back road, and set off the passenger side side airbags (on the doors, not the dashboard ones). Thankfully I was completely unharmed aside from ringing ears and it did not do a whole ton of damage running into the side of the car (as opposed to the damage that would have been done the other way around, if I had hit it), but unthankfully it hit the airbag sensors and the airbags going off made it unable to be repaired for less than the cost of the car. The deer did not even have the decency to drop dead on the spot so I could eat it, it took off running back into the woods (at least according to the guy behind me that saw it hit me, because personally I thought someone had fuckin' shot my car, because the airbags are apparently explosively powered and smell like gunpowder and smoke).

So, I've been away dealing with that and looking for another car. I was not in love with the Patriot, even though I stuck cool jurassic park stickers on it (rather, I stuck cool jurassic park stickers on it because I was not in love with it), and I was still badly missing my Liberty. So imagine my surprise when I found a new listing for a 2010 jeep liberty with nearly the exact same number of miles on it (70,139) as the patriot I just lost (70,106). It looked practically pristine, came with a clean bill of health from Carfax, and was within a few hours drive to go get. On top of that, it was listed as marked down because it was at non-same dealership that wanted space back, so it was less than the insurance payout. I still called, and I still asked them to do me better than what they had it up for, and the guy was SO busy explaining how much trouble it would be to give it to me for the price I asked with all the taxes and fees and stuff included but that he would valiantly go talk to his manager that I didn't get a chance to say I MEANT just the car price not including those things. So he came back with a price, I asked again for lower again if I could bring cash today (offering the price I wanted to pay total in the first place, had he stopped to listen) and they accepted it.

So, I drove down in my mom's car with her, and took him out for a spin. He drives like a new car. Whisper quiet compared to the lawnmower of car the Patriot was. Tight steering, gas, break pressures, good wheels, great pickup and go, rides high like my old Liberty did, huge backseat/trunk space for caging and hay and stuff. They had detailed the inside so it was pristine and even smelled like new car. Stunning little beast.

When I climbed in to drive home, I found a heads-up penny sitting on each front seat. I think probably the dealership guy put them there in reality, but I choose to believe that it was a peace offering from the universe. Or perhaps the car trying to tell me his new name: Lucky.

I managed not to cry about having a car so much like my good boy Colt back under my hands, but it was a close thing. Anyway, here's to the next 200k miles! Let's see if we can beat Colt's record :)

[sky-scribbles]

Next up on Things I Liked About Veilguard: the faction leaders. We all know some of the factions and their NPCs did not get anything like the amount of content and character that others did (Strife and Irelin I'm so sorry, I still love you), but sometimes I take a step back and realise how wonderful the stuff we did get was.

I mean - Evka and Antoine. Everything about them is so heartfelt. I hadn't read the supplemental material, but they barely needed to interact before I understood why this sweet, smart guy and this tough, smart woman loved each other. They affirm each other constantly. They respect each other so deeply. They have written letters for the other to take to their Callings: a cipher only Antoine could read. Je t'aime. Je t'aimerai toujours.

I love how Myrna and Vorgoth are introduced, suddenly and unsettlingly there in the Lighthouse. I love Vorgoth speaking in all caps. I love the fact that nobody knows what they are. I love that they raised baby Ingellvar. I love how Myrna is calm and polished while every so often coming out with the absolute wildest shit. They're fun.

The Viper and Tarquin? Top tier. They might be my favourites, just because of how much they have going on. Each of them has a backstory, and you can see exactly how those backstories produced their personalities. Ashur has a secret identity you can piece together from notes and codexes (and it's the funniest identity possible). I love their argument over Ashur's paranoid investigation into Tarquin, because it shows that the world goes on when Rook is not in the room, and the NPCs have relationships that go through ups and downs.

I'm mildly insane over the level of devotion, with Tarquin's desperate letters to the Wardens if Ashur is blighted, begging for a cure Ashur won't take. Him standing over Ashur to defend him in the final mission, or else his devastating reaction if Ashur dies: 'It should have been me!' God, these NPCs are alive. (fun fact: I wrote most of this post, and then Sheryl Chee confirmed these two were written as being in love with each other and stupid about it. I'm so happy.)

Speaking of NPCs who love each other: Teia and Viago, my beloveds. Again, I was coming in without the supplemental material, and I was sold on them so fast. The way Viago tenderly cradles Teia from behind as they mourn Caterina. The way they're so involved in Lucanis's personal quests - they're his family, they're there for him, they love him. I love Teia's fierceness and her heart. I love their banter - so much mutual understanding, exasperation and affection mixed together. 'We know each other too well to be strangers.'

Isabela is as wonderful as she always is - I especially appreciate how her depiction in Veilguard makes it clear just how loving she is. But can we also talk about Rowan? (I don't know if she's technically considered a faction leader, but meh.) I love her poetic speech patterns; I love that she's a scholar who wrote a bunch of codex entires; I love her calm, soothing voice. I love getting to see a Rivani Seer at last. And I love how she'll suddenly turn around and say, still calm and soothing, 'Spirit of Determination: may your enemies die bitter and in pain.' Perfect, no notes.

Strife and Irelin, sadly, drew the shortest straw when it came to being fleshed out in-game. But what I do love about them is their relationships with your companions. I love the tiny detail of Irelin, Bellara's ex, helping her pack for the Lighthouse; I love how she writes to Bellara to beg her to take care of herself, because she still matters to her.

And while I am a profound Emmrook lover, I appreciate Emmrich/Strife so much too. I love their shared curiosity and sense of adventure; I love thinking that Emmrich might give Strife tenderness that his life has lacked, while Strife could help nudge Emmrich toward boldness. I love the idea of two older men who likely think love has passed them by suddenly going, oh. If the Veil Jumpers didn't get a deeper relationship with Rook, at least they got relationships with Rook's friends.

Dragon Age games always give us a fun roster of companions, but honestly? Veilguard got me invested in the non-companion NPCs more than any other game in the series. Yes, there should have been more - but what we got was so much fun.

tl;dr: Faction leaders, my beloveds.

[balkanradfem]

I wrote this post in a word document, and I named this document 'not got stabbed yet', so that's the theme today.

I mentioned someone was slashing my bike tyres in the park, and it happened two times in 4 days. I thought, you know, crazy park person was after me, and I need to stop going to the park with a bike, if I want to avoid this.

However, something else happened next. Something that truly chilled me. My bike tyre was slashed the day after, and I hadn't been to the park that day. Not even close. I've been to work, and then visited a store, for 5 minutes. Someone found my bike and slashed it either at my workplace, or at the store. Someone had to follow me to find it there. Someone knew where I worked and shopped.

The tyre had a very small hole, so it deflated very slowly, and I only realized it was flat after I got home. I didn't know whether it was slashed while I was at work, or at the store. I took the tube out to check it out, found no thorn or any natural signs of damage, and called the police again. I wanted to know if there was more reports of this happening.

This time I was in luck and got to talk to a police woman! So I was happy, and I was able to share more details, such as where, when, how many times it happened, she was willing to hear me out. However, she did not take it seriously. She told me somebody probably got offended that I parked my bike at the park, because it is 'the park', so they wanted me to stop leaving it there, and since the third time hole was so tiny, it was possible I just ran into a thorn. I allowed that it could not be ruled out, but it was incredibly unlikely since I was only riding it directly on the street, not any grass or branches, and I did not find a thorn inside of the tyre. Usually when I do run on a thorn, it will get stuck in the outer tyre.

I explained I was worried about being followed, and legitimately scared of going to work next day, but she said I can't shut myself in, I shouldn't be scared, I shouldn't let someone know they've managed to unnerve me with this! And I'm facepalming, thinking, what kind of girl power is this? Is a stalker gonna quit if the victim is not unnerved enough? Wouldn't that inspire them to escalate behaviour? I sighed and thanked her for listening to me.

There were no other reports, she couldn't even tell me if it happened before at all to anyone. I looked up online if there were records of it happening to anyone, anywhere, but only articles I could find were about mass slashing on one location, like one person slashing 30 bikes at once. It was never about just one person having it happen repeatedly.

I was thinking about what was the point of this, and decided if it's not a crazy revenge for something (and I don't know what, I don't have beef with anyone in the entire city), it has to  be to stop me from using my bike. So I would have to walk. And be much slower. Much more easy to follow. And apparently I was already followed, if they managed to find my bike at my workplace. I was scared to go to work again.

To make things more interesting, I was at that point reading 'Career of Evil', which is jkr's book about a serial killer who stalks and murders women, and some of the book was written from the killer's perspective. This part helped me, because it revealed how it could actually be a bit difficult to attack a woman if she's only walking trough public places with people around, refusing to be out at night, refusing to go into dark alleyways or overcrowded bars and dance clubs. He couldn't do it out in daylight where there were witnesses. I had to stop and think whether this book logic could translate to real life, and if this holds out in reality. Can I protect myself just by being in open public spaces, in front of witnesses? Can I be sure I won't get stabbed if I stick to these rules? And I figured, yeah, that actually tracks, nobody will stab me in front of witnesses. And if I'm on my bike, it's harder to catch me. As long as I can quickly repair my bike every time and use it to get around, I should be safer than walking.

But I still felt unnerved about being followed, so I decided to go to work in a disguise. It was a different location and I didn't want to be followed there. I put together a jacket that was a different color than my usual one, put on a wig, different shoes, pants; it was obviously mismatched upon a close look, but if you saw me zooming by on a bike, you couldn't tell it was me.

Next morning, I nervously entered the workplace all costumed up, and people thought I was pulling a funny prank on them and were delighted. They insisted I stay in my new getup to show me to more people to get a laugh. They acted like it was the most fun thing I ever did. I played along, thinking how this is a convenient reaction, because I didn't want to take the disguise off immediately, for the chance that I'm still followed.

Later they asked me why am I in a mascarade, and I explained what happened. They then confirmed I'm definitely being followed, and started listing all cases where a woman got stabbed jogging or walking outside, which was just great to hear.

My bike remained whole that day, and I got home in my disguise safely as well. Now the question remained – do I stay home scared to go out all day? Do I just go around in a disguise everywhere? I needed to know why this was happening to me. And I felt sick of being scared and agoraphobic. So I made up a plan.

*

Later that same day, I went out with my bike in my usual outfit, bright and noticeable jacket, and my laptop in my hands. I went to the park. I carefully tied my bike behind where I was sitting, and opened up my laptop, which had a bit of tape covering the light from the camera. I was filming the bike with my webcam while I was on the laptop. It was almost obvious what I was doing, from the way I was sitting and leaning, but I was there to find out whether the tubestabby was a freaking idiot or not. Either he would fall for the trap, stab my tyre, get caught on camera, and I would know who did it. Or, he would do nothing while it's being filmed, and I could sit in the park, and do whatever I wanted to, safely.

My bike was fine half an hour later when I headed home, and I then had to review the footage, to see if anything happened. Bike was on camera the entire time, nobody came close to it, but also I was on camera, and while I was reviewing it, I had the crazy experience on seeing how my own face looks while I'm online, reading messages, scrolling trough tumblr. At first all I could see were my eyes moving left to right rapidly, I was speed reading, looking all scared and nervous because I did expose myself to a possible stalker and I was not having a good time. But as time went on, I saw myself breaking into smiles, because I had read something funny, and by the end of it I was just grinning and laughing, the internet humor broke trough my nerves and made me forget the fear. Tumblr is okay.

I was satisfied. I had been to the park, I wasn't stabbed, my bike was not damaged, and if I kept this up, I could be in the park and be safe by the means of obviously recording the bike. I can't do it at night time, as my webcam will not pick up a picture in the dark.

I'm not that spooked out anymore, I was freaked out when my bike was slashed the third time, and not even in the park. It is still scary that it's happening to me only, and I'm not targeted randomly among other people. And that it happened on a different location that nobody should have known I'd be on. If I catch the culprit it will take effort not to try and fight him immediately, because I am truly weak due to my impinged nerve and that guy has a sharp object. But he is a coward, destroying my stuff behind my back, never facing me and telling me what his problem is. I refuse to be scared of a coward with a sharp object.

[couldawouldashoulda50]

A/N: I had this idea back in December when Alex was playing with the Marlies. He led the team in an incredible comeback after being down 3-0 against Bakersfield, finishing the night with five points—two assists, three goals, and an OT winner to complete the hat trick.

I started wondering… what if Loren showed up at his game one afternoon—completely unprompted, just because she wanted to support him? Would that mean something to Alex? Would it affect him in a way he didn't expect?

I had so much fun writing this, and I hope there’s an audience out there for it. ❤️ *Note - as much as I try to keep real events aligned with dates and such, I realize that Ella Nylander was already in TO at the time but kept that fact out for the sake of the story.

Warnings - profanity, high level description during a hook-up (not terribly detailed smut), allusions to Loren and William in bed.

18+ only please.

Word count - 7k

Loren approached the usher at the entrance to the stands at Coca-Cola Coliseum, the home arena for the Toronto Marlies - the farm team for the Maple Leafs.

She showed the electronic ticket on her phone with her seat number. “Row CC - straight down to ice level…you’ll see a lot of the action - great view. Enjoy the game and let me know if you have any questions.”

Loren thanked him and began descending down the metal steps which creaked and shifted slightly with every step. She felt the energy and excitement in the air of the arena as she slipped into her seat by the glass. She was the lone person in her row at that moment, the coldness of the seat and the chill from the ice’s surface had her zipping up her vest and adjusting her knitted cream turtleneck.

William had left for Detroit the day before and told her to stay at the condo, take it easy - try to enjoy a rare weekend to herself. But sleeping in his bed without him had only made her miss him more. She decided to head home after lunch on Saturday, but as she merged onto the northbound Don Valley Parkway, she had a spur-of-the-moment idea and decided to go to see Alex (Nylander) and the Marlies play that afternoon instead. Taking the first viable exit off the parkway, she entered the address of the arena into her GPS at a traffic light. She decided not to even let Alex know she was coming - she would send him a congratulatory text or one with words of support afterward once she arrived home, depending on the outcome.

As she settled into her seat, Loren took another glance around the arena, her gaze lifting to the banners in the rafters and the large video screen hanging over center ice. William played here once. The thought crossed her mind as she imagined him at eighteen—this gorgeous, fresh-faced, highly touted rookie as he stepped onto this very ice. He had always been confident, that much she knew, but she wondered, aside from the hockey aspect, how he truly felt back then, navigating his life as a young player in a city like Toronto.

Smiling to herself, she pulled out her phone and snapped a quick selfie—her seat by the glass, trying to angle the shot to capture the Marlies emblem at centre ice. She sent it to William - no caption, no explanation - just a photo.

The response was almost immediate.

William: Beautiful ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 are you at Alex’s game?

Loren grinned, pulling her phone out of her pocket again.

Loren: Yes - I decided to come watch him at the last minute. I was actually going home because I miss my boys so much…but I turned around when I got the idea to come watch Alex play.

There was a pause—just long enough that she could picture him considering the words in her message.

William: That’ll mean a lot to him. Does he know ur there?

Loren: No - I didn’t want to bother him…he’ll be coming out soon for warm-ups so maybe he’ll see me. Snagged first row - I can’t even get first row to see you 😝😘

William: I’d be too distracted seeing you in the first row ❤️‍🔥🫠��

Loren: It would be distracting since I’d be in heat and licking the glass the entire time 🤤🫦

There was another pause, he was typing, then he would stop and start again.

William: Fuck, you really are the best. Please don’t go home afterward….it’ll be late but I really hope you’ll be there in bed when i get back.

Loren: I can hardly wait…have a good game. will be thinking about you.

She knew they could just go on and on with messaging so William just responding with another heart-on-fire emoji.

She slipped her phone back in her pocket, barely realizing her perma-grin that she was wearing. William had this way of making her feel like she could levitate. The warmth she felt from their brief exchange cut through the chill in the arena far better than her chunky turtleneck did.

Loren looked around at all the spectators starting to file into their seats. Kids started to line up along the class with some handmade signs for their favourite players - smaller scale than what she had witnessed at Leaf games but no less endearing. The energy in the atmosphere was building and there were moments where she felt just as excited to be there as she is when she sees William play.

With the bass pounding and the laser show flashing, the announcer riled up the crowd as the Marlies players began filing onto the ice, followed by Bakersfield, the opposing team. Her eyes darted around as she scanned the sea of jerseys and helmets. It wasn’t long before they landed on the jersey number 92, who was skating hard around the corners, a look of absolute focus on his face.

He skated past her spot in the stands, and Loren figured he hadn’t seen her. Her gaze trailed after him for a moment before shifting to a few other players she recognized. But when she glanced back, searching for Alex again, she caught him mid-lap—just as he turned his head and nearly collided with Alex Steeves. Both players stumbled, their skates catching awkwardly on the ice. He stopped abruptly, his skates gripping the ice as his brows furrowed, focusing on her and processing her presence. As he approached the glass, she gave him a small wave and an easy smile, mouthing, “Hi.”

Alex grinned, a mix of surprise and delight lighting up his expression. He shook his head slightly, as if to say, What are you doing here? Loren smiled and shrugged, pointing to the ice, mouth: to watch you play.

Alex was touched. He had never even thought of asking if she’d ever want to come to a Marlies game. And he liked Loren - he always had. They got along well and occasionally bantered back and forth but there was a part of him that felt something else whenever she was around. It wasn’t that he was uncomfortable - unsettling maybe? Not about who Loren was - he knew she was good to the core. But still - it was something he noticed, this vague feeling that he could never put his finger on it, but it wasn’t hidden enough for him to shake entirely.

As warmups continued, Loren noticed some of Alex’s teammates lining up along the glass and seemingly sneaking glances her way, nudging each other and laughing under their breath. She pretended not to notice, keeping her attention on Alex as he shot pucks at the net. He barely looked her way again, but she knew he was aware of her. His strides were longer, his shots harder. And when he lingered near her side of the ice, stretching, working his edges, it wasn’t an accident.

Some of the players were flipping pucks over the glass towards a group of young fans. A boy near Loren, not more than 9 or 10 approached her with a puck that he had just caught, and offered it to her.

Loren’s eyes went wide with appreciation, sweetly declining the offer.

“Oh my gosh, no….you keep this, but I really appreciate the offer! Thank you so much…that was very kind of you,” Loren smiling.

Alex laughed as he watched the reaction of the boy walk away grinning like an idiot as he approached his friends. If he was being honest, he didn’t blame the boy one bit.

As warmups concluded and the players all filed off the ice, Loren settled back down in her seat. She flagged down a vendor selling drinks and popcorn, and watched as her food was passed along towards her, promptly thanking her seat “neighbours” for obliging.

Once the game began, it was clear Loren was not bringing the Marlies any kind of luck. She tried not to be superstitious or think that because of her mere attendance that day, that she could set the entire tone for the game. Still, Toronto being down 3-0 by the end of the first wasn’t what she had hoped for.

The second and third periods made up for the abysmal start to the game. Bakersfield answered the first Marlies goal by scoring two more. But Alex clapped back and potted one in the net edging the game closer in scoring. What no one knew is that after the 5th Bakersfield goal, the Marlies would own the rest of the game.

With the game tied at the end of the third, heading into overtime, Alex had scored twice, and had two secondary assists.

Once OT had begun and bolstered by their amazing comeback to tie the game, the Marlies, and Alex specifically, had a dogged determination apparent to every spectator in the stands.

Over three minutes in, Loren was on the edge of her seat as she watched Alex hit an opposing player, then take off up the middle of the ice. United with the rest of the fan base, Loren could feel the roar increasing as the Marlies pushed down in to the offensive zone. With a teammate on his left, Alex took the pass keeping his stride, skating straight toward the goalie. Loren, along with everyone around her, shot to her feet as Alex veered right. A smooth backhand—perfectly placed—and just like that, the puck hit the back of the net. OT winner. Hat trick. First star of the game.

Loren chatted briefly with her seat neighbours before they began the ascent up the stairs towards the exit. Loren wasn’t in a rush as she hadn’t figured out what was in store for her for the rest of the night. Yes, she was staying in the city but there were hours before she would be ready to crawl into William’s bed. She considered texting Alice—Simon Benoit’s partner—to see if she and baby Adelaide were up for a little late-night fun. But, as Loren soon found out, both Alice and Adelaide were down for the count with a virus that had been making the rounds, for the second time that season. Although Alice texted she would love for Loren to come and keep her company, they both knew that Loren couldn’t risk transmitting to those she supported in the group home.

A woman’s voice called out to her. “Loren?”

Loren smiled, but she did not recognize the woman who called her name. “Hi, yes - I’m Loren.”

“Nice to meet you. Alex wanted me to try and catch you before you left. Sorry - I’m Kate Bascom, Media Manager for the team.”

Loren’s eyes flashed with recognition. “So nice to meet you, Kate. Alex wants to see me?”

“He asked that I bring you down the tunnel - they’ll be doing their media availability soon so I’ll find a spot for you to sit and wait for him, okay?”

“Oh - okay, sounds good. Thank you so much,” Loren blushed.

Loren followed Kate as she lead the way through the twists and turns of the corridors leading towards the lockers.

As they walked, Loren hesitated, her steps slowing. The last thing she needed was people jumping to conclusions about her and Alex. Explaining the truth felt almost worse—because once people started talking, through all the available forums for gossiping, it would be out in universe forever.

It was as though Kate could read Loren’s mind as they walked. “So Alex mentioned you’re William’s girlfriend?”

Their pace slowed. Loren flexed her fingers, her stomach tightening at the question. Loren Looked at Kate and spoke as quietly as she could. “Well, yes - we’ve been seeing each other exclusively since Thanksgiving.” Loren hesitated before she continued explaining her and William’s status to Kate. “Both he and I want to keep everything absolutely under wraps so I’d rather just sit somewhere off to the side until Alex is done his stuff.”

Being the Media Manager for the Marlies for a number of years, this was well within her area of expertise. Kate found it oddly refreshing - normally it was the player asking to keep things confidential, not the other way around. The worry in Loren’s face made it clear—this wasn’t just something casual. Whatever was between her and William, they were serious about keeping it private.

Kate led Loren through a small enclave that opened into a much larger room, packed with every kind of hockey equipment imaginable. “Loren, I’m going to grab Wil - he’s the Head Equipment Manager. He’ll find a spot for you to wait for Alex, okay? I’m sure you’re used to waiting around after the games,” she winked.

“I really appreciate it Kate - thank you so much,” Loren smiled, cheeks still aflush.

The life these professional players led often felt dizzying to Loren. Even after her time with William, she felt like she’d barely scratched the surface. And now, seeing Alex’s experience too, she was even more amazed. The contrast between William and Alex was vast—both professional players, both Nylanders, yet leading very different careers. And behind closed doors, she saw the unique bond they shared. The chirping they doled out to each other, the arguing, the laughter, their undying support for one another. She felt so fortunate to witness any of it.

Approaching Loren was a broad man with slicked back hair, accompanied by Kate. Kate began the introductions. “Loren, this is Wil Burns. He’s been a part of the equipment staff for the Marlies for many years. Wil this is Loren - ,” Kate looked at Loren to fill in the blank.

Loren extended her hand, a wide grin on her face. “Girard. Loren Girard. Wil - it’s so nice to meet you.”

“Likewise, Loren,” Wil smiled, shaking her hand. “You can come back into this area and watch all the goings on until Alex is through with his interviews. You came for the right game - pretty exciting, eh?”

Loren chuckled. “I thought maybe I should leave after the first - that maybe I was bad luck for the team,” she smiled. “I’m glad they grabbed that momentum and just ran with it. It’s such great hockey.”

Wil took the time to walk Loren through the post-game routines of the players and staff. She’d never been this close to it with the Leafs, so she absorbed every detail, fascinated by how much went on behind the scenes.

As the post game media scrums wrapped up, Loren saw Alex walking through the dressing room, followed by William Villeneuve. Both players had an incredible night - Alex with his 5 points and William with 4. She smiled watching Alex from a distance - there was no denying he was 100% pure Nylander. There were many different traits between William and Alex, both in stature and in personality, and Loren had begun to see those differences the more time she spent with the brothers.

Kate tapped Alex on the shoulder, nodding toward Loren. His grin spread wide before he could stop it, and—almost unbelievably—his cheeks flushed pink as he stepped toward her.

Then she smiled at him. Her expression was full of warmth mixed with excitement and pride. The way she looked at him made Alex feel like he was the only person in the room.

Something strange settled in his chest.

Up until that moment, Loren had always just been William’s girl. Hell, Alex had once flat-out told William to move on from her—to focus on hockey instead of whatever was happening between them.

But so much had transpired since then.

Alex remembered when William told him—plain as day—that no one brought anything close to what Loren brought into his life. Alex had brushed it off at the time, giving William some generic, emotionless response.

But now, standing in front of her, he understood what William meant in a way he never had before.

Alex barely had time to process the shift inside him before Loren stepped forward, her eyes dancing with excitement.

"Hej där!" Her Swedish was careful and a little hesitant, but the fact she tried made it endearing. "Oh my gosh, amazing game! Congratulations, Alex!" she beamed.

A warmth filled Alex’s chest - it was nice having someone waiting for him after a game. Someone that was invested and cheered for whether his team won or lost. Someone that was gorgeous on the outside, enough to make his teammates envious, but sweet enough on the inside to impress his grandmother.

Someone like Lo—no. No, no, no. Not someone like Loren. Not Loren.

She was William’s girlfriend. You cannot think about her that way.

Alex clenched his jaw, forcing the thought from his mind before it could settle.

And then Loren hugged him.

Brief. Polite.

But long enough for Alex’s cheeks to flush an even deeper shade of red. Long enough for him to catch a hint of her fragrance—warm and familiar, the same scent that marks her presence in the condo.

“I was thinking that I brought some bad juju or something in the first…I was going slink out and send you an apology later. But god, when you guys turned it around….well, I guess you don’t need my replay - you made so much of it happen,” Loren blushed, slightly embarrassed about her enthusiastic commentary.

Alex chuckled at the jab she made to herself. “Hey - well…uh, I think a bunch of us are going out…did you want to tag along or -?”

Loren’s expression was appreciative mixed with apologetic. “That sounds awesome but I think it’s best if I just head back to the condo. Watch William play, head to bed - pretty tame….you know me,” she smiled.

Alex looked around into the adjoining room where a few of his teammates had conveniently stopped to have a “conversation” about “their hockey sticks” all while unabashedly checking out Loren from behind.

“Nawh - that sounds good, some these guys might start creepin’ up to you anyway,” Alex remarked, looking over her shoulder and making eye contact until they unglued their gaze from Loren’s ass. “Some of them don’t know how to behave…,” he said loudly, getting their attention before Loren had a chance to turn around.

Loren sensed there was a moment that just occurred between Alex and the small group of players off to the side. Whatever just happened was more than enough to signify that it was time for her to go.

She and Alex chatted for a few more minutes, keeping it light—whether William had asked her to pick up Pablo and Banksy, or if she wanted Alex to grab something for her and bring it by later.

Loren thanked him and replied that William wanted to keep his routine with the dogs, then told Alex she might make something for herself, but she appreciated the offer.

And with that, she said she’d see him later—and to call if he needed a ride.

Alex reentered the dressing room, already bracing himself for the chirps and questions. He knew they were coming.

And sure enough—he wasn’t wrong.

After systematically shutting it all down with a casual, “She is 100% taken—no guy on the planet has a chance with her,” followed by a chuckle and a resounding, “Give it up,” Alex hit the showers, letting the hot water drown out all the questions, the teasing, and whatever the hell that weird feeling was from earlier.

—

Alex slid into his older brother’s Porsche. He sat for a moment, contemplating his options for the night.

He could drop the car off at home, grab an Uber, and really let loose.

Or he could just drive himself, keep it to one or two drinks, and call it a night.

There were plenty of options, but given his mood? Two drinks felt like enough.

Soon, messages began popping up—many from girls he’d connected with recently, all of them congratulating him on a great game.

One message caught his attention—not because of what it said, but because of who sent it. Nevaeh.

They met one evening at a popular Toronto night spot back in November when the Nylander siblings were all together. Alex had been dancing with another girl, her name long lost in his mind, drowning in a sea of possibilities—when Nevaeh scooched behind him to get by.

Her hands were planted firmly on his waist as she shimmied past, but given the dance floor seemed to have ample room, her touch left Alex a bit puzzled yet intrigued.

The two would keep bumping into one another, and by the end if the night, Alex had her online details. Over the course of the past weeks, Alex and Neveah kept in touch, though there were no real conversations to speak of. They sexted, sending provocative and extremely elicit messages and photos back and forth. He liked her confidence - her boldness - he had always been drawn to women who just lay it all out there.

Neveah’s message suggested that he come over for a bit while she got ready for the club. Just hang out, she said. Then we can go together.

Alex wasn’t an idiot. The invite was simple enough but it was the accompanying pictures that gave him the extra context he needed.

His lips quirked at the corner as he tapped out a reply.

Alex: Omw.

And with that, he pulled out of the lot.

—

Nevaeh wasted no time the second he closed her apartment door.

He barely had a chance to scan her body under the robe that she quickly untied. She was pressed up against him, threading her fingers through his hair along the collar of his jacket. She flashed a wicked grin, telling him how fucking hot he looked, before her lips pressed against his. Alex let her take control, let her pull him toward the bedroom, let her undress him with absolute efficiency.

This wasn’t about connection.

She was good—knew exactly what she was doing, knew exactly how to work him up, what to say and how to say it. She was on her knees, her expression covering all bases between innocence and unbridled sexual hunger. Before he had a chance to think, her hands and mouth moved on his cock with practiced skill.

It was good. It had its desired effect.

Later, she climbed on top of him, sliding his cock into her, rolling her hips, and taking what she wanted while Alex let her. His hands gripped her waist and watched her enjoying herself. He was feeling pretty good himself as well so win win at the end of the day.

He watched her as she bounced on him, closing in on her orgasm. He could feel his own climax beginning to take hold, and once she reached the height of her release, he flipped her onto her back and jackhammered her until he spilled out into the condom.

After the highs of their respective orgasms had faded, they lay apart in silence as their breathing returned to normal. Nevaeh barely spared him a glance as she pecked him on the cheek, reaching for her phone while curling into his side. Scrolling. Giggling. Liking. Typing.

Alex stared at the ceiling, waiting for that post-sex haze to settle in.

It didn’t.

The silence between them solidified their lack of compatibility, apparent to Alex only in that moment.

But what Neveah said to him, once she broke the silence, was the thing that really annoyed the shit out of him.

“So,” she started, her voice suddenly a slightly higher pitch, almost childlike. “We should skip the club and go back to your place. Introduce me to your brother.”

Alex brows furrowed as he tilted his head to look at her.

"What?"

"You know," she said, smirking at her screen, "I bet you and him would love me and…oooh, maybe even a couple of my girls." She finally glanced up, giving him a playful nudge. "You should make it happen. We'd be... very attentive to both you boys, if we were given the opportunity."

Alex let out a short laugh, mostly because what the fuck else was he supposed to do?

This wasn’t new. Not even remotely. Women had been propositioning them both for years—together, separately, in various places around the world. And of course, as young and virile men would do, they enjoyed in obliging the offers from time to time.

The annoying part was how casually Neveah brought up William. Like it wasn’t enough that Alex had just fucked her—she wanted a shot at his brother too.

Of course she did.

Even after a five-point night, even after leading his team to an OT win, William was still the focal point.

Alex didn’t resent his brother. Not really. But it was hard to ignore that no matter what he did, no matter how good he played, William was always the name people cared about.

He exhaled sharply, shifting out from under Nevaeh’s hold and reaching for his phone.

He tapped on a new message received. The second he saw her name, his stomach flipped.

Loren.

He frowned at his own reaction. That was weird.

Still, he opened the message.

Loren: Hey - hope you're out enjoying yourself - I just wanted to let you know that thanks to you, I'm hooked on Chipotle’s and I got a separate order of your favorite if you (and any potential company 😉😉😉😉😏😏😏) might be hungry when you come in.

A grin tugged at his lips. Even the insinuation made him chuckle.

And then, just as quickly, that strange feeling crept back in.

Loren.

How was she always like this?

God, she was so caring, so thoughtful. Even with him.

It wasn’t just her coming to the game today. It wasn’t just the healthy breakfasts and dinners that she made for them. There were so many little things. The way she always made sure that when she brought William little treats from some obscure place that there was something for him too.

William had once mentioned how Loren tried to make sure that he and Alex had their space to do their things together. She never wanted anyone to feel like she was encroaching on their time together. She understands how important our relationship is, William had explained.

Alex had been baffled by that at first. Almost suspicious at times thinking that it was set up. That she would turn into this overly demanding, over-bearing, attention seeking girlfriend.

That hasn’t happened.

Loren genuinely cared. About William. About their family. About him.

And the fucked-up thing? He liked how that felt.

Alex exhaled, locking his phone before he let himself think too hard about it.

"I should head out - not feeling great," he muttered, already grabbing his underwear and his pants.

Nevaeh barely looked up. "Mmm, Alex - let me come home with you. It’ll take me 10 minutes just to grab a few things."

*"*Not this time - got family visiting,” Alex countered, which wasn’t true — the family was arriving the next day.

She pouted, running her nails down his stomach. "Oh c’mon…..families love me, and I want to meet your dogs…they’re soooo cute."

Alex huffed a laugh. Sure she did.

Was it that she was confident? Or plain delusional.

“Maybe another time. I think I’m coming down with something… been going around on the Leafs too," Alex mumbled, already pulling on his jacket.

Nevaeh pouted, tugging at his wrist. "Fine. But next time, I wanna meet your brother."

Alex didn’t bother responding. He just grabbed his keys and walked out

—

It was a Saturday night—a night for celebrating, for drinking, for being out with his teammates and countless available women.

Yet for Alex, all he felt was the pull to go home.

He sat in the Porsche, the low idle of the engine filling the quiet space around him.

The club had been an option. Hell, it was still an option. He could turn around right now, meet up with his teammates, let himself get lost in the music, the booze, the girls who were always eager to celebrate a win or to soothe a loss.

But tonight somehow was different. Tonight, the only place he wanted to be was home.

What remained an issue in his mind - he was sat there not because he was tired. Nor was it because the post-sex emptiness with Nevaeh pissed him off.

He hated to admit it but he wanted to be home because of Loren.

Alex ran a hand through his hair, sighing as he stared out the windshield, the underground parking garage dimly lit around him.

Loren was William’s girl. That was unshakable. Undeniable.

She loved his brother in a way that made it clear there wasn’t a single other man on the planet for her.

And Alex? He would never—could never—betray William like that.

So why the hell was he here instead of out celebrating?

His fingers drummed against the steering wheel, thoughts circling, twisting, refusing to settle.

Maybe it was that he needed comfort instead of clubbing tonight.

Maybe he just liked having her around.

Maybe it was nice to talk to someone who wasn’t trying to use him, or compare him to his brother, or get something out of him.

And maybe, for the first time in a long time, that felt better than anything else.

Alex groaned, shaking his head. Jesus. What the fuck am I even thinking?

He grabbed the keys, cut the engine, and climbed out of the car.

When he got upstairs, Loren would be there. Probably curled up on the couch, watching the Leafs game, waiting for William to get back.

And for Alex - Alex was just going to walk in, sit down, and act like nothing was different.

Even if everything felt different.

The minute he walked in - he realized he had been building up an idea in his head that dissipated the second he saw her. She looked exactly as he envisioned her to be. Curled up on the couch, watching the Leafs and her beloved, his brother, try to win a hockey game.

She game him a warm smile when Alex appeared from around the corner. “They’re down 3-2.”

“Ooof, fuck.” Alex’s focus immediately went to the time remaining in the 3rd period as he stretched out on the opposing end of the couch. “Woller will be coming out soon.”

Loren covered her eyes. “See - I’m not good in these games…I can’t watch. I’ll grab you a glass of wine if you want?”

Alex chuckled. “Yeah - sure, go make your escape…some red would be great.” Relief washed over him as he sat and watched the dying minutes of the game. He felt okay - he felt in control, and he felt that whatever emotions he had going on earlier that night were circumstantial and very temporary.

Loren called from the kitchen asking Alex if he wanted his Chipotle’s warmed up.

Suddenly starving, Alex called back “Ja, tack.” A minute later, she heard him loudly mutter to her from the living room “Fuck - empty netter. Well, that’s that. 4-2.”

Loren walked back in and set down a coaster and a glass of wine for Alex and herself.

"Tack. Ser du? Kanske hade de kvitterat om du inte hade gått," Alex teased. "William tappade pucken med sex sekunder kvar." ("Thanks. See? Maybe they would have tied it if you hadn't left," Alex teased. "William lost the puck with 6 seconds left.")

"Oh no—jag borde ha stannat... Fan också, jag visste det..." ("Oh no—I should have stayed... God damn it, I knew it...")

"Jag säger till William att det är ditt fel..." ("I'm telling William it's your fault...")

Loren gasps feigning disbelief. "Du skulle aldrig...!" ("You would never...!")

Alex shrugs, taking a sip of his wine. "Mmm... jag vet inte..." ("Mmm... I don’t know...")

Loren grabs a throw pillow and smacks him with it. “Vilken liten skit…,” (”Such a little brat”).

Alex laughs and mockingly whines that she messed his hair up. Yeah, this was better that going out he thinks.

The timer on the oven sounded and soon after Alex retrieved his food, he returned to his spot with a glass of water. As he blew the steam off of his fork, he started asking Loren questions, mostly about little things at first - what she ordered for herself when she decided to pick him up something, if she’ll maybe come back to another Marlies game (he joked it might make William a little jealous if she started attending more games of Alex’s), if she’s finished Christmas shopping for William yet.

Loren answered each one, her typical buoyant personality - skirting around the William getting jealous if she went to see Alex play more with absolute modesty with “I highly doubt William would get jealous,” followed by a chuckle. She mentioned she was concerned about his Christmas gifts, confiding in Alex that she often worries that her gifts might be underwhelming.

'If I had the means, I’d buy him the world,' she admitted, her cheeks turning red. 'But I just… can’t.”

Alex didn’t know why that hit the way it did.

Maybe because women in his orbit seemed to want a guy who could buy them the world.

But Loren? She just wanted to give William everything.

And for some reason, that sat with him longer than he expected.

Alex shook his head, swallowing the last bite. “Awh - don’t worry, if it comes from you, he’ll love it. Trust me.”

Loren cocked an eyebrow. “That’s the kind of thing that people say while they’re bracing themselves to receive something that they’re never going to like in a million years,” her shoulders shaking as she let out a low giggle.

Alex chuckled. “Okay, so what’re one of his gifts then?”

Loren tried to stifle a smile, a mischievous glint in her eye. “Same thing as I got you.”

Alex’s expression showed intrigue. He sat back against a pillow and let his stomach rest from all the food he just ate. “Oh yeah, what’s that then?”

Without missing a beat, she smirked “Dayglo Condoms and a vibrating cock ring.”

Alex’s eyes grew wide as he started to laugh.

Loren covered her face, her cheeks hot to the touch. “Yeah, I gotta cut myself off for tonight, that last glass of wine…” Loren giggled.

She stood up and offered to take Alex’s glass. “Nah, thanks though. The wine’s going down a little too easily - I’m gonna have more.”

Loren laughed and shook her head again. “Sorry, I have the humour of a 9 year old boys sometimes - the going down easily comment…ah, sorry, don’t mind me.”

“Yeah… you’re cut off, you loon," Alex chuckled. His laugh was something else—apparently even more unique than William’s at times.

“Alright then Alex, good night,” Loren smiled.

“Night Loren. Thanks again for coming today and for dinner. It was really nice of you to do that,” Alex replied softly.

“Anytime,” Loren replied with a small nod. He heard her pad to the kitchen, wash her glass quickly and then into William’s bedroom seconds later.

Alex exhaled as he leaned his head on the back of the couch. He now has seen a glimpse - a mere glimpse - of what Loren is like naturally, just on her own. God, this is why he’s never seen his brother quite as happy, quite at ease, quite as open and loving the way he’s been since Loren has been around. She really was like a breath of fresh air.

The realization that Alex might be looking for that kind of connection - for the kind of love, understanding and devotion that Loren has, not just for William but his whole life…it hit him in that moment.

Alex stayed up for awhile - gaming, messaging, texting, swiping…all half-heartedly. He downed another glass of wine while watching the highlight reels of all the Saturday night games that had ended.

Around 1:30am, William arrived home. Pablo and Banksy b-lined it for the couch where Alex lay fast asleep - snoring with his mouth agape. He was jolted awake with Banksy climbing onto his chest, Alex groggily giving him a rub and setting him aside as he stood up from the couch and stretched.

Immediately the brothers caught each other up from the last 24-36 hours - Alex’s stellar performance versus a less than stellar one from his older brother, most of their family arriving tomorrow, and the oddly scheduled 5pm Sunday afternoon game, Leafs versus Buffalo. Alex even gave William a quick run-down of his hook-up, passing over the part that she wanted to meet William too. Him coming home instead of heading to the club where others on the team were just leaving.

“So what - you and Loren hung out?” William asked as he scarfed down part of Alex’s leftovers.

“Not for long really," Alex shrugged, maybe a little too casually. "She picked up some food for me just in case, and yeah—when I got home, we watched the rest of the game. Well, I did,” Alex chuckled, correcting himself. “She hid in the kitchen hoping you’d score if she wasn’t watching.”

“Didn’t work,” William joked.

“That’s what I told her. She even tried to call me a little shit or something in Swedish,” Alex smiled.

William grinned thinking about Loren and her potty mouth…in Swedish even. She’s been practicing…that’s my girl he thought.

For a split second, William thought about asking Alex what he thought of Loren—not because he was even remotely concerned. Not even a little bit. It would just make him happy to hear that Alex sees all the good in her. Given the hour, William shelved the thought…Loren was in his bed and he could hardly wait to be alone with her.

The brothers said their goodnights, and Pablo and Banksy followed William down the hallway to his bedroom. And once again, the condo was quiet and Alex was by himself.

With another back to back game against Bakersfield at 4pm that afternoon, Alex meandered down to his bedroom. He was tired and for a moment thought that all of the buildup surrounding Loren in his mind might just be from his tired mind taking Loren’s kindness and turning it into something else.

Alex shut off the water, catching the faint murmur of William’s voice through the walls as he walked into his bedroom. He smirked at the sound of his brother’s unmistakable laugh. Sliding into bed, he flipped onto his side, wrapping himself around a larger stuffed pillow.

Although he had achieved a satifactory release with Neveah earlier on, a familiar need reentered Alex. He tried to push out the images and thoughts of the women he’s “connected with” lately, knowing sleep was necessary, especially in a back to back game situation.

As he lay there, with the distant hum of traffic in the background, he soon heard what could only be a bed shifting back and forth, and it certainly wasn’t his. The pace of the sound was steady at first but gradually increased, mixed with the faint moans of two voices.

Exasperated, Alex grabbed his earbuds and sought out a distraction, the blood flow to his own cock starting to build pressure. He saw his ex-girlfriend Isla’s green dot indicating she was online. He tapped out a quick message to her…she was someone that really knew Alex well, and he needed that familiarity too.

Phone sex wasn’t ideal, but in a pinch, Isla obliged, lounging through a lazy Sunday morning in Stockholm. In some ways, it was nice to have someone—someone who knew him as well as she did, even if they weren’t always good for each other. Even if they weren’t together anymore.

After this impromptu rendezvous with Isla, Alex cleaned himself up and ventured out to the kitchen one last time. He jumped when he saw the refrigerator light illuminating Loren’s figure as she grabbed two ice packs from the freezer.

Loren jumped when she spotted Alex, giggling from the sudden jolt of fright that he gave her.

Alex gave a crooked smiled her way. “His knees?” nodding towards the ice packs.

Loren smiled sheepishly. “I swear, I didn’t break him - yeah, it’s his knees.”

Alex smiled and nodded. “He’s lucky he’s got you here to take care of him when he needs it,” he remarked warmly. “I’m not very sympathetic.”

Loren paused and looked at Alex with a knowing smile. “Ah, you are….it’s absolutely there - it’s just a flag you choose to not fly as high.”

God, she really is great he thought.

“Night, Alex…have a good sleep,” Loren said softly, before padding back towards William’s bedroom.

He was thankful their family was arriving later that morning. He needed the distraction. The noise. The chaos. The sublime madness of a full Nylander house leading up to the holidays.

Anything to help him tuck away this ridiculous little crush and pretend it had never happened.

[softpascalito]

I To Dig a Grave I Chapter 7 I

Summary: Twenty-one years after the outbreak, you come to Wyoming looking for something and end up in Jackson after a stranger saves your life.

But he doesn't stay a stranger.

Turns out Joel Miller is looking for something too. It feels like a fresh start. But when bad luck seems to follow you, Joel is the only one to turn to, forcing both of you to confront your feelings about your pasts- and each other.

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader Rating: Explicit / MDNI Word count: 29k+ Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Age Difference, Smut, Explicit Content, Grief/Mourning, Mental Health Issues, Canon-Typical Violence, Chose not to use Archive Warnings, Tags to be added

AO3 LINK // Series Masterlist // Playlist // ko-fi

notes: everyone be safe this year ♡

this fic will deal with heavy topics. please note that it doesn't use archive warnings and tags will be added as we go in order to avoid spoilers. each chapter will have detailed warnings in the end notes on ao3.

Chapter 7 – The Ceremony Part 2

‘I feel that I want to be forgiven, that I want her to forgive me. But I do not know how to state my crime.’

— James Baldwin, Giovanni's Room

The church is filled with more people than you even thought lived in Jackson. The front row is occupied by Mrs Moss and a woman that keeps patting her back reassuringly. Next to her, you make out Cat among a few of Lane’s friends, two or three others that you know played important roles in her life. She got to Jackson years before you, having spent most of her teenage years with the community and, evidently, having left quite an impression. The two seats on the very right are yours and Joel’s. He is anxiously perched on his, his fingers tapping the wood below him as he keeps his focus on you.

The rows behind him are filled with more friends, acquaintances, the others that help out at the school. And behind them are children. Seemingly all the children of Jackson, the ones that have been told off a million times for talking in class or not doing their homework by both Lane and you, are sitting in their finest clothes, staying still and quiet, somber expressions on their small faces.

It hurts more than anything else could.

You finish taking stock of the audience by letting your gaze fly over the last rows—and those standing behind them, for the lack of space. You see Maria and Tommy, him sending a reassuring nod your way before you both turn your attention back towards the priest, who is finishing up his speech.

“The only thing we can do is keep the memory and spirit of Lane alive. We will now hear a few words from those who knew her best. And I ask you all to listen and remember her, not for how her story ended but for who she was before.”

A short nod from the priest towards you is followed by the walk up to the small podium that seems to last a very long time. You’re painfully aware of the eyes on you, eyes that have not seen you since you’ve been carried through the town in Joel’s arms a few days ago. This too, seems much further away than it actually is.

You place the neatly typed sheets of paper on the podium and take a deep breath.

***

Joel doesn’t leave your side the entire way to the graveyard. The wind has picked up again and the gray sky promises that more snow is on the way. You’re walking just behind the front of the procession made up of Mrs Moss and a few people around her. You would’ve been very content to stay a bit further behind—it makes you feel exposed to have so many pairs of eyes following your every move. How many of them believe you didn't know about this? How many will go home and whisper about Lane behind closed doors, saying that they saw it coming. How could anyone?

The grave is outlined, even if not dug. A small wooden cross has been erected where the headstone will be eventually. You can barely bring yourself to watch as the priest places the wreath in front of it. It’s beautifully crafted, decorated with a black ribbon in the front. For a second, you forget what it symbolizes and instead just stare at the flowers. You’ve never known you could find so many colors in the Wyoming winter. There is purple and yellow—and blue. Hydrangeas and bluebells, trailing all around the twigs that hold the wreath together.

The words of the priest bring you back to the reason you’re staring at the flowers and immediately, their beauty is lost on you.

There is no ritual, no petals or earth. With no grave, you can’t help but feel there is no way to say goodbye. The cross is just a piece of wood, carrying Lane’s name and the two dates that mark the span of her life.

It’s not a very long one.

Joel steers you through the crowd, people occasionally giving you a small, sad nod. You try not to look at them for more than a few seconds, tired of the look they all have. The same face, the sad somber eyes, the same pat on your shoulder. You’re glad when you reach the town hall, the tables decorated with the same flowers you’ve just seen placed on Lane’s grave. It kills whatever appetite you try to pretend to have.

There is cake, mostly homemade, a few women and men still shuffling around the tables, trying to find a place to squeeze in their baked goods. Just like in the church, it feels like the whole town is around and, slowly but surely, people grab food and drinks and settle down, their voices low and eyes cast downward.

A few of the younger people, including Cat, eventually come up to you, expressing their condolences and inviting you to sit with them. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Joel mutters into your ear for the third time and you give a small nod. “Yeah, I get along with them. I swear, it’s okay.” He only seems mildly satisfied with your response, lingering next to the table you’ve settled down at for another second.

“Just—” You lean over to him. “Don’t leave without me?”

“I’ll be around, just want a quick word with Tommy. You come and find me if you wanna leave early, okay?” He hums into your ear and you give a quick nod before watching him make his way through the crowd.

He’s a tad less touchy, with all these people around, and as you listen to the conversations around you and attempt to swallow the cake that feels much too dry in your mouth, you catch yourself longing for another cold night and a good excuse to curl up against his body and let his warmth soothe you, away from the prying eyes and the whispered conversations that seem to follow you around.

***

Joel's eyes are scanning the crowd when he finds a familiar face, one that makes his insides churn with guilt. He glances over his shoulder, checking if you still seem okay, before making his way over to a corner towards the front of the hall.

He sighs as he reaches the table tucked away there, leaning against the wall. “Hey, kiddo.”

“Hey,” Ellie replies quietly, her gaze wandering around the room behind them, her eyes never quite reaching Joel. Her gaze avoiding him the same way she does. He lets a few seconds pass, forcing himself to soak in the uncomfortable silence. Then, he clears his throat quietly.

“Look, I’m sorry I haven’t come by yet, it’s all been a bit—” He struggles to find the right word. It’s complicated because Lane is dead and he needs to get that into your head without ruining you, and during all that, he also needs to ignore the thoughts in the back of his own head that seem to get louder each time he feels your body pressed against his.

“A bit much,” Ellie finishes for him. She stares at her feet for a moment before looking up, this time directly at him. “It’s fine. It’s nice she has someone who looks out for her. If that’s what this is.”

Joel feels like he’s been punched in the gut. If that’s what this is?

He sucks in a breath, watching as Ellie sways back and forth, her eyes still on him. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means, if you look out for her, that’s nice. Unless that still includes lying, by your definition.” Her face shows that she knows it’s a low blow. Joel nods curtly, clenching his jaw for a moment. His glance wanders back to the table you’re sitting at and he half wishes there’d be something there, some sign of distress that would give him an excuse to walk away from this conversation. But there isn’t and he knows that he doesn’t deserve it either way.

“Ellie, this ain’t the time for that,” Joel mumbles, shaking his head a bit as he shifts his focus back onto her. “If you’ve got something to say about—”

“I’m moving in with Dina.”

If he’s been punched in the gut before, now Joel is certain his attacker has added a knife to the equation. It must be visible on his face because Ellie’s defiant gaze falters slightly and seems to soften a tiny bit as she watches him, no doubt waiting for the reaction to her news. For once, he looks absolutely dumbfounded, his mouth slightly open, waiting on a confirmation that he hasn’t just heard those words.

“I didn’t mean—” Ellie groans a little, moving her hands into the air. “Not right now. But we’ve been talking about it and I figured…” She gives a small shrug. “I figured you should know. Means you can have the shed and—”

“I don’t want the damn shed,” Joel blurts out. He doesn’t say that he just wants Ellie, and preferably you, close by. He gets that she wanted some privacy, more than the illusion of it in the form of a thin wall between their rooms, but having her in his backyard seemed like a good compromise. It allowed him to make sure she ate or to have breakfast at the kitchen table, the window facing the backyard and Ellie’s front door.

Joel lets out a small breath, slowly, as he nods to himself. Damage control. That’s the best he can do right now.

“The shed is yours, always. The house is already way too big for me ‘n myself,'' Joel mutters, fighting the urge to tell her that he should get some say in this, that this is a decision that they should make together. One he’d very much like to put off for a long, long time.

Joel doesn’t know how to let go because he’s never had the chance to. Everything he’s lost has been ripped away from him with violence and blood trailing behind it. Not once has he willingly given something up. So he doesn’t know how to.

He protects and holds them close until they die in his arms. And they always die.

The image of Sarah's body flashes before his eyes for a moment and Joel grabs the edge of the table, his knuckles turning white as he tries to push the thoughts away.

“Look, I think Dina is a good—you seem to like her,” Joel mumbles, glancing around to make sure they’re not being overheard. “You do … like her, right?”

Ellie makes a noise that almost sounds like a small laugh, but somehow, it only makes Joel feel even smaller. “Yeah, she’s not so bad.”

“Right,” he responds because he can’t think of what to say to that. He racks his brain for a reply that won’t immediately cause another row, something that feels impossible with Ellie these days. He distantly longs for their time before Jackson—when she hung on his every word, never quite did as he told her but stuck with him nonetheless. A tiny voice in the back of his head points out that maybe the town tucked away behind Wyoming's mountains doesn't hold such good luck after all.

Ellie’s gaze is back on the room behind Joel and she tilts her head slightly as she speaks. “You won't be completely by yourself in the house though, right? Not with her moving in.”

It's not that she doesn't like you. The few lessons of yours she attended were admittedly fairly interesting and more than once you'd brought Ellie a new book you'd stumbled upon while learning to navigate the library—usually something about space. But the one thing she's never quite understood is your relationship with Joel, why both of you have dinners and dance around each other and still never seem to get anywhere.

“She’s not moving in,” Joel clarifies, his voice straining slightly. “Look, if that’s what this is about—” 

Ellie quickly shakes her head. “It's not. I mean—it's a factor. But it doesn’t… I don't care who lives with you, Joel.”

They both know her words are not entirely true, but Joel decides to let it slide, knowing that the only thing waiting for him here is another argument. “Okay, look. You don't know what she's going through. Lane’s death has been hard on her and none of us can imagine—”

“What it's like to see your best friend die?” Ellie interrupts. Her tone isn't loud enough to stand out among the noises of the crowd around them but it still carries that hint of disappointment. “Yeah, jeez, I really can't imagine.”

Fuck.

Joel shakes his head, his fingers tapping against the fabric of his pants more quickly. “Ellie, I didn't mean—” He sighs, his gaze wandering back to the crowded room.

It's at the same moment that Joel's eyes meet yours and you take in his features, a small frown appearing on your forehead at what you see. 

He doesn’t know that he looks so incredibly tired.

***

His mind is still on the idea of being all alone in his house, of Ellie being so damn far away, when you finally leave the funeral feast, stepping out into the cold air.

“Was that Ellie with you earlier?” you ask politely.

Joel nods weakly, unable to open his mouth, unable to tell you about their conversation or about Ellie’s plans. It feels like the knife is still lodged in his stomach.

“It’s nice you two are speaking.” He’s lucky your attention is still on your own thoughts, enough to not notice the small flicker of something that dances over his face before he takes a deep breath and goes back to pretending that everything is okay. He has an idea that you feel very similar about the day. Pretending that it’s normal to be writing eulogies instead of finals.

“Your speech was lovely,” he says in a low voice, remembering how he had to pinch himself to stop the tears from gathering in his eyes.

“Thank you,” you mumble back, your gaze focused on your feet below as you leave the main street.

“I wanted to stop by the graveyard again,” you pipe up softly. “If that’s okay.”

“Yeah, of course. You wanna go now?” Joel asks carefully. The sky is still overcast, the snow piling up more and more. The town seems more bleak and cold than ever, even more so in direct comparison to the warmly lit town hall with the smell of good food and the constant hum of conversation all around.

The graveyard is empty.

The small cross and the footsteps in the snow are the only signs that someone was here. Or in Lane’s case, that someone isn’t.

As you turn the small corner that opens up to the meadow that holds around two dozen other graves, Joel carefully sneaks his arm around you, pulling you a bit closer into his side, silently vowing his support.

Your stomach drops as you get close enough to make out Lane’s name carved into the wood. Something seems to be clawing at your chest from the inside, violently attempting to find its way out of you and into existence.

A bit of snow has gathered on the cross and you reach out to wipe it off when your gaze falls onto something between the flowers below. Slowly, you bend down, trembling fingers pushing the snow to the side, only to be met with the most horrifying thing you could see placed on a grave.

It is a kid's drawing.

Two stick figures, one with blue hair, your names written underneath. A small rainbow hovers above Lane’s head, the colors just slightly off. You feel like you’re going to be sick.

You barely notice the sharp intake of breath behind you as Joel glances over your shoulder to see. His hand rubs small circles into your shoulder.

“I didn’t think they’d put them out here.”

Whatever has been inside your chest finally breaks free and with it a wave of anger like you have never known rolls over you. It settles inside every inch of you, wrapping itself around your skin, casting your body.

It moves faster than it has in days when you turn around and roughly shove Joel’s hand off you, taking a staggering step back into the untouched snow.

“You knew?”

Joel stares at you with a mix of pity and surprise. And you truly, fully hate him. For giving you that look, always giving you that look, since the first time you met. Like you’re something that’s broken, that he needs to fix.

He seems to fight to find the right words for a moment before nodding carefully, the hand that was on your back a moment ago slightly raised in a calming gesture. “They wanted to help the kids grieve. So they let them draw the pictures. Maria said—”

“I should’ve been there,” you press out, not yet willing the tears to fall that you can already feel bubbling up.

A flicker of something else flies over Joel’s face. A sternness you haven’t seen on it in a long time. “We didn’t think you were—”

“I don’t care what you think!” you roar, sending a flock of birds up in the trees flying into the sky. “I’m so tired of all of you treating me like a goddamn child!”

Joel’s face has fallen slightly and he swallows hard, raising his hand a little higher. “I didn’t mean—”

“I don’t care what you meant! None of you know what this is like so stop pretending that you understand! I never wanted this!”

“I know you didn’t,” Joel says quietly, his eyes alert and trained on you.

“You said it would all be better! You said it was so much easier and safer in Jackson, that everything would be better here! You were the one who made me stay!”

Joel just stands there, letting you yell and rage at him, and somehow, that makes it even worse. You want him to yell back, to fight you on this, to do anything but stare at you like you’re this sad thing he can’t leave. An animal that has been grazed by the bullet. Enough to hurt, not yet enough to bleed out.

“What else have you been keeping from me?!” You don’t think you even care. But now that you’ve started yelling you can’t seem to stop. Because you know that the anger is the only thing between you and the overwhelming wave of grief that will come crashing down on you the moment you allow yourself to breathe.

Joel almost looks like he wants to apologize but then his face changes and he shakes his head firmly. “I have not been keeping things from you. I’ve been protecting you.”

“I never asked for your protection!” you yell, moving a step forward to shove at his chest. It barely makes him stumble. Controlled, strong, as always. But something is simmering under his skin too. And you can practically see the moment it reaches his throat.

“Fine! The next time the kids draw pictures for you, I’ll just shove them right into your face!”

You both immediately know he’s crossed a line. Your lungs are burning, the cold air hurting your throat as your voice finally quiets down. “They drew pictures for me?”

Joel opens his mouth and closes it again, shaking his head and it suddenly becomes clear to you that he didn’t mean to say this, that you only know of yet another secret something because you’ve pushed him to a breaking point. He takes another breath, forcing his voice to be quiet when he speaks again.

“I put them below the stairs. I was gonna give them to you, I just thought it was a bit early to—”

You don’t hear the rest of his sentence, instead storming off towards the large metal gates of the graveyard. The white house on Rancher Street is not locked. The hallway seems oddly long as you hurry through it, your gaze fixed on the wooden stairs leading to your bedroom.

His bedroom, you correct yourself. You don't live here. And you surely won't after this.

The first two cupboards you open contain fresh linen that you carelessly shove out of the way. The third one holds a small plastic container that is filled to the brim with paper in a variety of colors.

There are pictures of the school, the classroom, Lane at the front. Lane surrounded by children. Lane next to someone that looks like you. Lane in the woods. There are a few poems and cards in between, each one neatly stacked in the container. There is a weathered postcard showing Flat Creek Lake.

You’re on the wooden floor of the hallway when Joel finally steps into the house. The box clutched to your chest, your body practically curled up around it.

He has been able to keep the tears at bay during your speech. He isn’t able to now. He doesn’t notice that he’s crying until the first tear slips down his cheek and he quickly uses his hand to wipe it away.

Your sobs are almost silent, your body shaking with the effort of keeping them that way.

Joel knows it’s his fault. Because despite all the arguments he’s been storing in the back of his head, he knows you’re right. He is the one who made you stay. He promised you an easier life in Jackson, watched as you trusted him and built your life here rather than anywhere else. And in return, you’d gotten two years of happiness and two pages of goodbye.

A whimper escapes your throat, weak and high-pitched, like the animal that has been grazed by the bullet is finally dying. You’re all trembling limbs and weak sobs as he carefully pries your fingers off the plastic container and sets it aside, making sure not to hide it. He’s done with that.

His back protests as he lifts you up with no support from you, no hands clutching on to him like they usually do, no arms wrapping around his torso. But you don’t fight him, which is all he thinks he can ask. He takes the stairs very slowly, careful not to trip before placing you down into his bed.

Your eyes are closed but he can’t tell whether the grief has worn you out too much or if you’re just trying to ignore that he’s there. He only lingers for a few moments, taking off your shoes and coat and spreading the thick winter blanket over you. Then, he quietly closes the bedroom door behind him and heads back downstairs, ignoring the fact that every part of his body is screaming at him to turn back, to find your trembling body below his sheets and wrap himself around you, hands sneaking over your skin.

Instead, he creates a makeshift bed for himself on the couch, kicks off his own boots and settles down, his eyes landing on his wrist. The hands sitting below the cracked glass of his watch are still, the exact way they have been for over twenty years.

He allows his mind to wander to his daughter for a few moments. Not the night of her death, not even the year. But to her first day of school, to their first Christmas, to his daughter Sarah rather than his dead daughter Sarah.

‘Remember her not for how her story ended but for who she was before.’

He doesn’t remember falling asleep.

notes: thank you for reading ♡

[jamiedc-they-them]

Mushy: Part I (Platonic)

Summary: Reflecting on how everything went wrong, the middle adopted child of two sisters reflects on their past as they try to make a better future.

Note: This one isn't as long as my other pieces as it's more of a prologue type thing setting up Y/N and their dynamics with Jinx and Vi before the other parts (if people want them, of course!) will go more in-depth to episodes and build on them like my writing normally does.

Hope you enjoy :)

Seeing that blue flare light up the night...it couldn't be. It just...it just couldn't be.

Vi put a hand on your shoulder, shaking it. She could see it too. She could. She shook your shoulder again.

Caitlin looked at you both, "who is that?" she asked, voice soft.

"Powder," you both said, before taking off. Caitlin hurrying after you.

You had found your way into Vi and Powder's life when you were very young. Barely any memories. Just fire, screaming and death.

Trauma, was what Vander told you it was. He said that it was only natural, for anyone in a scenario like that to be traumatised. He seemed to know all too well about trauma, but you never got the chance to ask him about it.

"Something like that doesn't leave you," Vander told you, one evening, "let yourself feel what you need to about it, but try, try not to let it cloud any judgement. There's always another battle, Y/N, another fight - be it big or small. You have to keep your eyes on the bigger picture, else you get lost forever in the details."

You never knew what he meant by that. Still, didn't matter, at least not then.

Then, you had a family. Sure, you did not sound like the rest of them at all, though whoever said you sounded like you were from Piltover, they would be put down by Vi.

You never even thought about your voice, just took it as was and moved on.

Now, making your way towards that flare, you were realising just how much weight Vander's words had.

Vi taught you a lot, you picked up on it all quick. You were the middle child out of her and Powder. You weren't as good as a fighter as Vi, but you weren't the worst either.

"Distracted," is what Vi would say whenever you lost.

You were pretty sure she let you win sometimes.

Powder's hair was blue, as were the crystals she found. You tried to call it a coincidence.

You hated that you put those two together, you hated it so much. You hated how it made you, subconsciously view your sister when it all went so wrong.

You'd fix that, you vowed as you climbed up with Vi's help to reach the flare.

An explosion you barely escaped brought some heat (ha) for you all, but you made it out, scrape and all to get home.

"You alright, bluey?" you asked Powder, sitting on her bed.

She nodded, "I - I'm sorry about today," she said.

"Shit happens," you said, "try to get some rest, ok?"

She nodded, but didn't make any moves to try to go to sleep. She looked to the door instead, "what about Mylo and Claggor?"

You sighed, "they'll come around. We're family," you assured, "sure Vi and I can speed up the process, though. Anyway, we all make mistakes. Small steps, that's what counts."

Powder giggled, "thanks, mushy."

You never understood the nickname. Maybe it was the soft voice you had, one that wasn't the most intimidating.

"Anytime. Now," you said, getting up and getting a blanket for your sister, "get some rest, ok?"

"Ok. Love you."

"Love you too."

Love was a power thing. Love was a dangerous thing. Love could be all you needed to get through the day. Love could be the thing that made you not wake up the next.

Love was what made misguided decisions to occur.

It led to Vi knocking you out to try and give herself up.

Love was what led Vander to take the fall instead.

Love led to Mylo and Claggor waking you up and reuniting you with Vi to try go and save Vander.

It led to a fight, one you and Vi very nearly lost. You managed to push through, together. Just about making it.

Then, the explosion occured.

You fell and Vi was unable to reach you.

As far as she knew, you were lost to the flames. She screamed. She screamed as loudly as she could.

You coughed...you coughed again.

You weren't you right now, you were the child who was on a bridge on fire, surrounded by ash, bodies and the sound of screams, of crackling.

The smell, god the smell. Strong. Overriding all else.

The flesh burning. The smoke entering your lungs.

Too many details, not enough time.

You slipped, but Vi caught you.

"Don't look down!" she told you, helping you up.

"I'm not letting you down again," she vowed.

You never quite knew how you got out of the building. You looked at it, fire being reflected in your eyes.

You let a sob out, the lone survivor that you believed you were.

You then ran, as far as your legs could carry you. You didn't care about your lungs burning more than they already were or the scrapes on your arms and legs when you tripped from exhaustion, you just had to get away.

The constant flashes in your minds eye.

The family you gained. The family you lost.

You reached it. The flare was still going. There was still time to fix this.

You looked at Vi, the pair of you nodding at each other. You weren't running away this time.

[boobsoutforbeeduo]

Fanart for @shadowthehedgehcg 's AMAZINg fanfic!!! This scene genuinely made me giggle so much when I read it, even though its just a doodle I knew I had to draw it XD

Link to the fic below the cut, along with some small notes abt the drawing!! Pls guys go read it, I couldn't recommend a book more <3

Notes:

I wasn't sure exactly what Daisy looked like / couldn't remember (im bad with fine details TwT) but I remember (I think) that she was black! So I just made her look pretty similar to my irl kitty!

I contemplated wether to give shadow socks or his shoes, in the end I went with his shoes bc I don't think there was anything stating that he wasn't wearing them? Again could be wrong, I have the memory of a goldfish, but still X3 (same thing with clothes, usually I draw Shadow all decked out but I decided to go closer to his canon look for this drawing!)

Also, not really notes but little things I wanted to say for funsies :3c

Since Shadow has been eeping for 50 years I don't think he would have known how to use a mixer? At least nothing at all similar to modern day mixers. Which is why this bit made me laugh so much, the first time I ever used my mixer (having previously only used handheld ones my entire life) I didn't realize I should start it slow, put it on full blast, and got flour EVERYWHERE lmao. I feel u Shadow

I have NO IDEA how both shadow and daisy have their eyes wide open after being blasted with flour, but good for them I suppose XD they got them strong corneas lmaoo

Yeah anyways enough yapping, tysm author for makin this amazing book, can't wait for part 2!!

[darklinaforever]

God help me...

First off, what the hell are you doing in Wyler tag ? What's your fucking problem with pissing off people who didn't ask for anything ?!

But let's see the rest of your bullshit in detail and tear it down as we go along.

But this ship is very much dead. There is hardly any traction towards it because the people who ship it make no sense when they defend it. They sound like they could be mentally ill...

Weird, Wyler is the most popular ship with Wenclair though. And for a dead ship, Netflix still took the trouble to make Wyler the first teaser for the new season...

And how do we make no sense ? It's you who had no interest in repeating things that the show and the show team have themselves contradicted for years now about Tyler's character.

And it's you who comes into Wyler's spaces to piss off and obsessively spill your venom. It seems that you are the one who is mentally ill...

I don't know how crooked you have to be to say that you're crooked to ship a canonical ship. Already, this is not even said for fanon ships, but even less canon. What are you trying to prove here ? You're shooting yourself in the foot by coming in to tag Wyler to insult us and try to seem like the smartest person when you seem like the stupidest.

By the way ; Do you think you're smart to say that kind of thing ?! That we are mentally ill ?!

Wow, for say that you must really hate the fact that Wyler is the first official trailer / teaser of season 2, otherwise you clearly wouldn't be here trying to impose your pseudo dominance...

I guess Emma Myers (Enid actress) is mentally ill then, since she says most of the same things we do about Tyler...

And not to mention Hunter himself who spoke of sexual compatibility between Wyler, that Wednesday had been Tyler's light during the events of season 1 and that if he had to imagine his character ending up with someone it would be her ?

You're really a piss of shit.

And I won't apologize for saying that.

You allow yourself to insult us with enormous condescension that you try to pass off as a form of kindness in the rest of your post ? Well, I will insult you in return, but head-on this time.

You are a big piss of shit. That all.

Tyler almost killed Wednesday and all her friends + he manipulated her like a professional and she felt humiliated because she never even suspected him and put a good person in jail because of him.

She will never forgive herself, let alone him.

Yes... and ? First, Tyler “tries to kill” Eugene essentially under the orders of Laurel, his master to whom he is forced to obey and who tortured him ? Note also that Laurel technically didn't tell Tyler to kill Eugene but to take care of him and that strangely, he's the only victim of Tyler who escaped death ?

Coincidence ? Maybe not !

And if you want an explanation for Enid, it is implied that the Hyde offers a second personality, different from the human version ? So, technically, the Hyde is not Tyler. It's a second personality. Why is everyone forgetting the recording of the psychologist that Donovan listens to ?! Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, you know ?!

Literally, these people are being dishonest on purpose.

Also... again, Wednesday doesn't blame Tyler specifically for nearly killing her friends. First, it would be bad faith, because she also did it in the show with Enid, but above all, it's a question of ego. No really justice in her anger towards Tyler.

She is mainly angry at Tyler because, yes, he managed to fool her and her intelligence. And she is deeply hurt in her ego and personal feelings.

But how would his anger on this subject be eternal ? On what fucking basis ?! Tell me !

Once this aspect calms down in her, everything will surely be better and she could potentially look again at the case of the Hydes whose research remains incomplete (which have always deeply interested her on the other hand), and therefore Tyler.

But to return to her friends, Enid and Eugene are fine. Wednesday can recover from what Tyler almost did to them. Especially since Eugene was under Laurel's orders (and strangely, Tyler who could have easily killed Eugene... strangely didn't do it ?), and that Enid explains it by the fact that Tyler was in Hyde mode, his second monstrous personality, that he doesn't seem to really have control over ?

But more than that, Wednesday is a person who generally takes those treated most unfairly under her wing. And Tyler is probably the one who has been in this sad situation the most.

That she hates him forever makes no fucking sense ; since although she is angry for the moment because her ego is hurt, she knows that Tyler had a shitty family life, was groomed by Laurel who woke up his Hyde thus forcing him to become her puppet and imposing a bond that makes Tyler want and love what his mistress wants.

Then again, it wouldn't make sense for Wednesday to be mad at Tyler forever...

Oh and... Just for pleasure : “Of course the first boy I kiss would turn out to be a psychotic serial-killing monster. I guess I have a type.”

Also... Wednesday didn't put Xavier in the cell because Tyler manipulated her into doing so ? Wednesday did this all by herself like a grown-up ! 😂 Because, for the recording, Wednesday is a narrow-minded and toxic person. And believe me, of all the people Wednesday could have upset and blamed herself for this, Xavier is the one she will get over the quickest. Because ultimately she just likes him as a classmate and childhood acquaintance. And again I'm being nice... because most of the time she actually just tolerates him.

Oh and Wednesday finally saved everyone at the end of season 1. Given her ego and her anti-heroine nature, I think she will eventually recover from her own mistakes / forgive herself. 😂

I get that some people are shipping them as some kind of kink ( monster serial killer with Wednesday addams) 😏. But this kind of shipping starts and stays in the dark corners of the internet.

This ship can't be acknowledged by a streaming platform to the general public ( which includes millions of kids).

Just... God, if you think Wyler is an impossible relationship to fix, then you've never read or seen a real enemies to lovers romance !

I literally read one romance where the guy almost killed the heroine forever by stabbing her in the heart ! And if it weren't for the intervention of other characters, she would have died ! And yet at the end of the story, they're happily married !

The enemies to lovers trope isn't as fragile as these morons think it is !

One mistake and the relationship is dead forever ? Wow...

Wyler is also so soft in that category too ! The antis seem like a bunch of fragile people when they talk about Wyler.

Literally every time these people try to put the Wylers down they just make fools of themselves. Because they just bring up arguments that have been contradicted a billion times or are comically weak, or they just say bullshit that is simply not true.

I repeat, enemies to lovers have existed since the dawn of time, it's literally one of the most popular and represented tropes in existence ! Whether in children's fiction or for a general audience !

What cave are you living in to dare to say that Wyler cannot be recognized by a general public ?!

Even in super popular books you have thousand times worse than Wyler ?!

“The general public can't handle Wyler” My god... hello Delena, Klaroline, Clarice & Hannibal, ect ?!

For information, as shocking as it may be The Vampire Diaries was seen by many children / teenagers in addition to adults in time. All my friends at the time and I were kids when this show started and we watched it, like so many others.

Hence children and the general public couldn't handle Wyler ? Wyler is as soft as fucking Reylo ?! Another great ship that the general public and children loved.

This is one of the biggest bad take I've ever seen ! The confidence you need to say this kind of stupidity ?!

Seriously, wtf ?!

Although he was groomed, Tyler was a willing participant in the crimes that he committed and he even told Wednesday that he enjoyed killing innocent people. Millar and gough folded the wyler book forever in that scene.

Tyler can never be trusted enough around outcasts to be released.

It's literally said in the show that the hyde is conditioned to like what its master likes and want what his master wants. It's not even ambiguous. It's said in the fucking text of the show.

And I remember that Tyler makes his fucking confession to Wednesday with tears in his eyes. Yes, what a great villain...

Oh and if you need to talk about the non-canon novelization of the show that most of Wednesday's audience hasn't read and never will read to prove your point about a canon scene and events from the show, we're going to have a problem.

They're the ones who sound like mentally ill repeating over and over again that Tyler absolutely loves killing without any fucking doubt... 🙄

And they go so far as to agree that the Hyde should be excluded ? While the show is literally about the treatment of the marginalized ? The excluded from society ?

And they think it's positive that there is a category of outcast among the outcasts themselves ?!

Clearly not.

The treatment of Hyde is something that needs to change in this show !

And for that, we first need to finish understanding how these creatures really work.

But hey... Not as if we had incomplete research on the subject, that Wednesday is interested in it and that she just happens to have a Hyde on hand to look into the subject... I wonder where this scenario could lead us ?!

But certainly not to a questioning of the treatment of these creatures by the society of this story according to the antis (#irony) ?! Of course, nothing will ever change for the Hydes ! They are too dangerous ! Long live the status quo !

This is driving me crazy !

Yes, what the hell would Wednesday who defends the oppressed and the victims, have to do with Tyler, the outcast of outcasts himself who was groomed by a psycho who triggered the Hyde in him to use him as a puppet and who has the equivalent of a mental illness by being a Hyde. Hyde by which she is fascinated, and who it is implied that she will complete the unfinished research on them ?!

Seriously, the writers racked their brains to write us a character like Tyler, a teenager with multiple problems, including family problems, a victim of abuse and whose hyde (the creature marginalized among the marginalized themselves, knowing that the whole message of the show is to accept the marginalized in reality) seems to be the equivalent of a mental illness, for people to be like “Yes, this guy is a pure villain who cannot have redemption ! He is rotten and the show is right when it says that the Hyde are too dangerous for the world ! Nothing must change and nothing aspires to a change of point of view on these creatures in a show where we are encouraged to accept the marginalized (and whose hyde is the marginald of the marginalized himself) through the only Hyde that we meet in person throughout the story who is only a teenager victim of abuse with the metaphor of mental illness !”

Seriouslly, the “Tyler will never be put back with the other outcasts because he's too dangerous” take it's so fucking stupid for a show about outcasts and injustices...

We present to you the outcast of the outcast, whose case in terms of creature has never been finished studying...

And you think Tyler will forever remain an outcast among his people and locked up for life ?!

WTF ?!

These people are tiring me out...

Because it lacks the "genuine" element: there is no love between Wednesday and Tyler.

I would like to understand how Wyler lacks romantic elements ? They literally have one of the most classic storylines in the world in terms of romance ? What the hell are you talking about ? Developed ? What would be missing ? My god, what bullshit. If you want analysis of the Wyler relationship you have my tumblr or those of @fullofwoe5321 @tylernation @wylerserver18official @ablatheringblatherskite @cosmic-lullaby @broken-everlark

Tyler and Wednesday only have one scene in season 2, according to the leaks we got. So this teaser is very much bait for the fans who still like them together 😏. Netflix is yet again giving false hope to fandoms about something that isn't going to happen.

Saying that Wyler will only have one scene in season 2 according to the leaks...

Are you aware that the leaks are not always true ?

Are you aware that it wouldn't make sense for Wednesday and Tyler to only have one scene together ?

Because a teaser is supposed to give an indication of what the new season will be about overall ?

Oh but am I stupid. In your stupid little shit head you think that Tyler will now always be locked up for life. In that case, why keep the character in the show ?

Fucking idiot...

You really have to be in complete disillusionment to say that this trailer / teaser will be the only scene between them in all of season 2 while a teaser serves to show the viewer what will generally be the center of the new plot.

Oh, and no official romance in season 2 doesn't mean no romance in the rest of the show, FYI. Especially since it is completely logical that Wyler (if these two were to end up together one day) wouldn't they go back into in love mode in season 2 ? They have a fucking relationship to repair first and also work on themselves each as an individual person ? Also, most Wyler fans, without even the announcement of a reduction in the romance being made, certainly did not expect the romance between Wyler to return straight away for season 2, simply because on a narrative level it would not have not been logical... Seriously, go find another hobby other than annoying people.

And even if Wyler doesn't end up together at the end of the show, despite all the logic of this romance, do you think that will stop us fans from shipping Wyler ?!

Obviously, you are clinging to Xavier when it is clear that nothing more will happen (since the character was removed from the show because the actor was accused of sexual assault) ?

Seriously, this person seems obsessed with the character of Xavier (who could have been an interesting character but who in fact remains generally average and a real potential ultimate shit boyfriend)...

But they got a slap in the face 🙂. since the teaser was met with massive backlash about the most unethical thing they did: dropping an innocent man and Convicting him of crimes he never committed...

Except the comments you showed don't show people being outraged that Xavier was sent to prison when he did nothing, just that they will miss Xavier's character.

You're thinking all by yourself, big girl (this is obviously a recurrence among the anti-Wylers).

And then “they did” ? What is she talking about ? Wyler fans ? Was it Wyler's fans who put Xavier in jail ? 😂

I repeat, you can only blame Wednesday for Xavier ending up in prison. Tyler has nothing to do with it, he never tried to accuse anyone to keep suspicion away from him. Wednesday suspected Xavier alone as a grown-up.

I'm so angry that this kind of crap is getting into the Wyler tag. Don't these people have anything better to do ?

I feel like I'm back in Reylo's time ! Because Reylo and Wyler are some of the softest ships in terms of enemies to lovers that I have seen and people act like they are some of the worst things in the world and that these ships are too hardcore for a general audience and calls us mentally ill for our thoughtful argument, which is ridiculous.

It's truly ridiculous and cheeky.

They just repeat the same bullshit over and over again, contradicted by the show itself and the show team !

At this point, we're not the ones who look ridiculous. It was them.

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Veilguard Ecology Part 1

I have decided to channel the ways I am insane by cataloguing the plants, animals, rocks, geography, and what have you we see in Dragon Age, starting with Veilguard. I am starting this with the acknowledgement that all of these things largely exist just as "assets" and "textures" placed around the landscape to the devs rather than thought out inclusions (unlike some of the specific diversity of ecoregions & their contents we see in DAI), so I'm making it my problem instead.

who is this for? me. it is not going to be interesting to most other people beyond a vague "i didn't know that was something you could look at" or a "i like to read about other peoples weird hobbies" thing for everyone else probably. anyway

PROLOGUE PART 1: Minrathous

jumping into the game and what do we have here. two beloved companions we've known for years? no. ignore them. time for grass.

I'm going to use the fieldwork unknown ID naming conventions for plants that aren't referred to by species/common name in these games, though I will speculate as to what they're based on via imported textures. So this will be Grass1. You can see both yellow and green tissue, implying it's either a perennial or an annual that grows multiple rounds in a single season. My bet is perennial. The stems and leaves are both upright and rigid, the leaves angling sharply upward from the stems. This game is nowhere near detailed enough to see ligules, auricles, or trichomes (AND SHOULDNT. to be clear. i can't even imagine how hot my computer would be running) which are like my #1 way to ID grass family in absense of seed head (which these also don't appear to have) so not gonna bother guessing taxonomy. Although visually the shape reminds me of a Muhlenbergia perhaps. note if you google any of the plants i mention you'll only see highly watered versions which are Not how most grasses look in their native wild habitat, where they are much more resource limited, so keep that in mind.

And now on the other side of this little platform we have Grass2. Taller than Grass1, appears to be entirely senesced (gone dormant / all brown above ground / roots probably still alive--if aboveground tissue is yellow rather than grey you generally assume the plant isn't dead just not photosynthetically active). we have what MIGHT be now bare seedheads but no seeds left on them. the dry leaves tend to be more curly than rigid although the overall habit is still fairly upright and tall. This is too tall to be a Boutaloua or Hilaria jamseii but not spiky enough to be Hilaria rigida (although that one might be another contender for Grass1 now that i think about it), and the leaves are flat rather than rolled like an Achnatherum. probably its based on something outside my wheelhouse of dryland or great basin grasses so if i narrow it down better I'll come back to it later.

In this section we also see a pile of dead weeds all grouped together, in a few spots. however the lighting here is shit and i remember seeing these somewhere brighter later so I'm skipping them for now.

Here we have Shrub1. Look at that! finally something green in Minrathous (YES i know there is 1 single green herbacious something or other in the grass/weeds pile in the last spot but again it's in a group asset so we're saving it for somewhere with better lighting. also it just looked so sad there on its own). anyway this is an upright shrub with redish stems and some sort of dark berry in clusters. I'm guessing this is based on some ornamental which aren't my wheelhouse, but the leaves are opposite branching, leaf margins smooth and entire (though some are browning at the tips which is a nice visual detail), and the fruits form in small groups but not large enough cluters that would indicate an umbel type flower. I have NO proof to back this up but when i look at it i feel like it's vibe is evergreen rather than deciduous. maybe because the light on the leaves makes them seem waxy... however this is not a plant you are meant to look at up close as it's entirely flat textures layered together so i'm concluding analysis there until i pull up an ornamental shrubs list and figure out which one it's been scanned off.

ENOUGH WITH THE PLANTS, LETS TALK ROCKS: Solas' Hideout Cave

Ok there are some more senesced and dead grass/weed textures here too that aren't exact copies of above. but the lighting is even more abysmal so i'll skip for now and come back if i don't run into them elsewhere in the game i guess. also i'll be honest i can see an aspen leaf in the pile and there's NOT aspen trees here so it will just annoy me to put them in this section rather than Arlathan which is up next. let's look at the cliff instead.

Here we have some sort of chunky weathered yet clearly very stratified rock. you can see all those narrow horizontal lines that indicate this is a sedimentary rock, so at one time Minrathous was a depositional environment, which i'm not getting into right now but am making a note for my now 10-year-old tectonic plates map of Thedas. We're right on the sea without much beach and the rocks look more chunky than crumbly, as well as this darker grey color, so i'm leaning sandstone/siltstone rather than something softer like limestone. maybe some shale but Minrathous has been built so large I can't imagine the region is predominately shale or it'd be way more structurally unsound after all these centuries.

Now when I first played Veilguard this was one of the first places i stopped and went "ohhh, nice" while looking around because I do think they did a fantastic job with the ground surface textures. we have a sort of sandy patch on top of a rock base which makes sense for an area people are walking in/out from but the edges are clearer, which if they're being slapped by waves now and then would indeed drive the sediment either in or out. We have different grain sizes for the sand and gravel as well as different colors. The ground-rock is kind of way lighter in color than the walls-rocks but i am attributing this to the needs of seeing your character when running around vs stratigraphy change. anyway this is just chatter the funny part is actually when you go inside the cave

aaaand now we're leaving realistic critique behind and are entirely within the realm of game design. But i do want to point it out because i think this is one of those things that, unless you spend a lot of time thinking about geology/geography, you wouldn't ever consider. I've even bothered to adjust the lighting in these screenshots (why are games all so DARK) so you can see what I'm talking about.

Here in the hideout we first see on the floor some cobblestone/brick on the floor, partly obscured by sediment, and leading right up to and implied underneath the rest of the stone wall. In the second screenshot you can see the remains of elven brickwork in the wall and archways leading further in, both in various stages of crumbling. whats wrong with this? Well, the rock is growing on top of them. Which is not how rock works--rock can distort, warp, crush, etc buildings housed inside it but it does not grow over things the way plants do. Yes, even if ancient Elvhen empire was 10,000 years old, sedimentary rock cliffs need millions of years to form, not thousands, and if they WERE forming new rock it would happen in even layers from the bottom up, not growing over the wall like a parasite (I would allow for stalactite growth too but that's not what we are seeing in this cave).

What has happened here is: environment designer made an uneven wall, then took a brick wall asset, and sank it halfway into that wall so the rock shows through. This is WAY faster than designing a brick wall that is falling apart and showing rock from behind the places it's crumbled away. I don't blame them for doing this, it would be very silly to put that much extra work in for something only me and probably 4 other people will ever notice. but! perhaps now you will notice it too the next time you play a cave or underground section of a game and go "heehoo the fantasy Rock That Can Grow Over Things" the way I do.

That's all for this section--up next will be the Arlathan Forest part of the prologue, eventually.

[softdrabbles]

ashton wasn't surprised that svea saw right through them, she'd caught on pretty quickly to their mannerisms. they knew regardless of what they said neither svea or carmen would believe them. the last thing ash wanted was to fight with their partner again, so soon after the argument they had over carmen's party that had them sleeping on the couch. "i said i thought it could have been, i didn't know who it was. i'll show you the damn message if that's what you want from me?"

their eyes fell to the ground hearing her mumble. they could only imagine how disappointed svea was with their behaviour. ashton wasn't one to get physical and if they hadn't have been pushed by daxton, they wouldn't have hurt them, no matter how much pain they caused. "i didn't lie to you!" they simply just left out a few major details. "this is bullshit — don't act like you were there, svea, you weren't!" they through their hands up to make their point, wincing in pain, forgetting for a moment they had actually hurt themself. "it wasn't even my idea and you're right, i wouldn't go out of my way to beat someone up."

they sighed in frustration, no-one was going to believe them and once more, even though daxton egged them on, they would be the one looking like the bad guy. ignoring svea's sarcasmm ashton nodded, "i do actually, yeah." credit to daxton, it was exactly what they needed, to get out the pain and anger their twin had caused. "you don't understand," ashton tried, "they wanted me to! they stood there pleading with me to hit them, to make them feel the pain they caused me. i didn't want to but then they started talking, fishing and they got what they wanted. daxton gave me an outlet to release some of the hatred i felt and fuck svea, i was filled with it. even after be separated for so long, they still knew me well enough to know what i needed. they really listened to everything i had to say but also i got a chance to listen to them, what they went through, they tried to help me understand, see that there was so much more going on with them than what i realised. so yes, it was liberating. they feel responsible for what happened between carmen and i and they want to fix it. that's the truth, svea. i didn't meet them with the intention of hurting anyone but fuck, it felt so good to just release the anger."

svea had expected for ashton to lie but she was not expecting for them to lie to her. her jaw was clenched a bit. " firstly, you know jay wouldn't do that." jay could be a scary, intimidating kind of guy but enough to be anonymously threatening people. sure he was uneasy with the infidelity in the past but no so much at the moment for the sake of their kids. the man wasn't afraid to speak his own mind considering that ashton and jay had gotten in some words with one another. " besides you wouldn't go out of your way either to go beat someone up." her eyes had already glanced at their fists to confirm what carmen had told her about. it hurt that ashton had really wanted to physically hurt daxton. hell, she had never seen them be physical with anybody. " dammit ashton..." svea mumbled rubbing her forehead. she had really hoped that daxton was actually jumped and ashton hadn't been the one to harm their twin. " don't...don't lie to me." she dropped her hand from her forehead before her hands rested on her hips. " did you really think beating up your sibling was going to fix everything?" the pair were just getting over their outburst at carmen's party. now this was another thing to add to the plate. " was it liberating for you, hm?" the sarcasm dripped from her voice. " you feel better ?"

[dykedvonte]

Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like

-💀

It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.

If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.

Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.

He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...

[not-poignant]

Hi folks! Just wanted to write a quick post that if you send an ask and I don't respond to it immediately, you don't have to repost it, I'm probably just really, really, really tired. And having asks re-sent doesn't make me feel more likely to reply to them!

Give it about a week, and if I don't reply after that, you're welcome to ping me again. But I am on hiatus right now for a reason <333 So please just be patient, because my priority right now is taking care of myself and resting, and being very careful on where I put my energy, which means not getting to asks straight away even if I'd like to sometimes.

[dreamsicle262]

if the reading comprehension of some people who do make dead plate text posts is so bad (as i've had at least two people tell me in the tags) then maybe i SHOULD start analyzing every little detail in the game.

[potahun]

dug a little deeper in my memory and here is the tally of times furuya responded truthfully to kazami and those he avoided responding to a direct question from kazami about himself:

(ztt anime only) kazami asks him if furuya has ever failed before: ODIOUS AVOIDANCE. JAIL FOR FURUYA. he responds "let's see... for example...for example...um" and kazami tells him it's enough. i've always wondered, i think hiro's death is his biggest failure, but....that's too raw for a nomikai to cheer kazami up huh. it could also be that he genuinely...doesn't remember his failures....but that's pushing it a bit. responding with a real failure would make him look uncool to kazami either way, though.

kazami asks him why he's going to the vet: TRUTH CARD ACQUIRED. furuya answers truthfully he's going there to get some vaccinations done.

kazami asks him what happened to him / how did furuya get injured at the curry shop: TRUTH CARD ACQUIRED. furuya answers truthfully "it's something from yesterday". it was. he didn't go into details, and kazami didn't inquire further, but it was the truth

kazami notes furuya looks preoccupied with time, and asks him if he has plans later: TRUTH CARD ACQUIRED. furuya answers he's going to play a game (he was!) and asks kazami not to repeat this to his PSB colleagues. he looks miffed that he had to reply, but he didn't have to? he chose to reply?

kazami asks if the doggy is doing well: TRUTH CARD ACQUIRED but it's not that impressive since it's a benign question and kazami knows about haro anyway. but furuya does add "he probably misses you" which. hinting kazami should come over sometime? or....

kazami doesn't really ask, but hints a question by saying "survival class? you told me you were on another mission" when furuya got trapped in a basement and had to ask kazami to rescue him: ODIOUS AVOIDANCE. JAIL FOR FURUYA. furuya hits him with his usual curveball of "a lot has happened". it's not exactly a lie though. i mean you could consider it the truth...actually maybe it is a TRUTH CARD ACQUIRED. hmm. but yeah, going into details would have made him look uncool

kazami asks him if he was showering just now (...kazami.): TRUTH CARD ACQUIRED. furuya responds truthfully with "yeah". then again, it's more a thing about why is kazami asking this? than why is furuya answering, since it IS a benign question, but also kazami, you don't have to ask

kazami doesn't straight up ask but he hints pretty heavily that he'd like to know about the makeup remover in furuya's bathroom, and the hairpins...and the toothbrushes...and the hair...: TRUTH CARD ACQUIRED. (WHY! HOW!) furuya takes him through each of the items, except the make-up remover, to prove he hasn't brought a woman home (because that's what kazami cared about) and even goes as far as to check with kazami if he had "any other unclarified doubts". ok

kazami asks furuya if he was at haido shopping mall the other day, cuz he tried to call out to furuya but furuya didn't reply to him :( : TRUTH CARD ACQUIRED. furuya basically lays out his whole doppelganger problem to him.

kazami asks furuya what exactly he is investigating by blowing on a train window: ODIOUS AVOIDANCE. JAIL FOR FURUYA. furuya hangs up before having to reply, and does say "sorry" and "thanks" for the help. a situation where replying would have made him look bad in kazami's eyes

kazami asks furuya what he's looking at in the basement of hatoyama farm (the shoji piece) cuz he's been fixated on it for a while: TRUTH CARD ACQUIRED. furuya shares what he knows (which is not much).

kazami asks furuya why he's fixated on kid all of a sudden: ODIOUS AVOIDANCE. JAIL FOR FURUYA. furuya even spins a lie about how he's concerned for the queen but oh! lies! jail for furuya! he just needed kazami's help because he has no friends!! but he can't tell kazami that. it would make him look bad in kazami's eyes. however, even so, he adds truthfully that "he has a good reason he can't lose to kid now". which is objectively wrong, cuz his reason is shitty and petty, but to him, it's a truth. so there's that.

all in all, 3/4 instances of jail for furuya (depending on how you look at the answer), and pretty much only in situations where telling the truth would make him look uncool in kazami's eyes. kazami's record of "make furuya tell the truth to him through direct questions" is still very high, considering the character that furuya is.

I just love kazami asking questions away like "why are you going to the vet?" "do you have an appointment after this or...?" "what are you looking at?" "i found make up remover in your bathroom (why is it there?)" to furuya with no thought for whether it could be linked to a confidential mission that he's not privy to. it's in his space and scope of vision so he's gonna ask. if furuya didnt want him to ask maybe he shouldnt be having him in the "able to notice and to ask" vicinity

[hibernating-stag]

One question that's still on my mind is if servants are based on the user's soul, why are Raven and Valentines the same?