empyrd

[empyrd]

just realized i haven’t mentioned it over here but ingrid (and my other fe muses) are all on my multi now!!

[empyrd]

this ask meme is based on the blog gravesuggestion.  i’ve divided it up into two categories  ( light  &  dark )  based on the themes.  some of these can be somewhat triggering seeing that the darker ones deal with a lot of death mentions.  please be cautious before continuing on!!

L I G H T

‘  at night i dream of you.  ’ ‘  don’t give up yet.  you still have time to fix things.  ’ ‘  falling in love with someone else is not a personal attack.  ’ ‘  i am still so weak when it comes to you.  ’ ‘  i can’t believe i let myself let you down.  ’ ‘  i don’t care where we go when we die,  as long as i’m with you.  ’ ‘  i dream of saying to you all the words i held inside until it was too late.  ’ ‘  i feel so warm  &  safe when you talk to me.  maybe i could love you if you’d let me.  ’ ‘  i finally let the right people in  &  i have never felt so loved.  ’ ‘  i like the way your nails paint red stripes along my spine days after you’re gone.  ’ ‘  i lived in your permafrost for twenty years  &  then you looked at me  &  i felt the warmth of spring.  ’ ‘  i once wished you’d leave me alone,  but i take it back.  ’ ‘  i want to be able to love someone else,  but you stretch your arms  &  spread your legs inside my heart so that there is no room for anyone or anything else.  ’ ‘  i want to believe that we got it right this time.  ’ ‘  i wonder how much longer i can cling to your light before it expires completely.  ’ ‘  i would travel across the world to be by your side,  because as long as you are with me,  anywhere is a perfect place to me.  ’ ‘  it took me awhile to realize it myself,  but you are not what other people say you are.  ’ ‘  it’s not that i really need you,  but life would be pretty boring without you around.  there’s no one i would rather be with.  ’ ‘  i’d like to stay like this for awhile.  ’ ‘  life  &  death don’t have to be so boring,  let’s make both an adventure.  ’ ‘  life imitates art,  they say.  i didn’t believe it until i started to notice the way your eyelashes look so much like tiny ink stroke.  ’ ‘  live your life so that when you die,  souls will come for miles just to hear your historic tales.  ’ ‘  make your exes jealous  &  your past self proud.  ’ ‘  maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on.  ’ ‘  never get caught falling harder.  they’ll never let you back up.  ’ ‘  please don’t go.  ’ ‘  some days it’s easier to just stop fighting it  &  succumb.  ’ ‘  sometimes,  you’ll find it hard to keep going,  but you always will.  ’ ‘  the desire i feel for you is that same itching,  insidious hunger that an addict has for their addiction.  ’ ‘  the worst thing about you is that you weren’t all bad.  ’ ‘  there is absolutely nothing  &  no one who can stop me.  ’ ‘  there is no route of losing you that is without pain.  ’ ‘  there’s still room for adventure  &  there is no one i’d rather have by my side.  ’ ‘  things didn’t turn out the way i planned,  but i’m alright with that.  ’ ‘  we could be really incredible together,  you know?  ’ ‘  you are beautiful  &  vibrant  &  confident.  you are light  &  laughter incarnate  &  every fiber of your being screams freedom  &  joy.  when i am with you,  i am truly happy.  ’ ‘  you are starlight incarnate,  from the grand way you sway your hips to the wide mysterious way you think.  blessed are any to be loved by you.  ’ ‘  you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you.  ’ ‘  you call me yours  &  i have no idea what that even means to you.  ’ ‘  you remind me of bubblegum  &  sweets;  soft  &  pink  &  warm.  you are strong in the gentlest way.  you are so stubbornly kind.  i wish i could be like that.  ’ ‘  you still visit me while i sleep sometimes.  your fingers trace my spine  &  i listen to you breathe.  please stop haunting me.  ’ ‘  ‘morbid curiosity’ is a wonderful way to describe how i feel about you.  ’

D A R K

‘  a thousand empty bottles  &  fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day.  ’ ‘  everyone else has moved on,  but i am still here.  ’ ‘  everything about you screams danger.  ’ ‘  everything is worthless to you  &  you,  in turn,  became worthless.  ’ ‘  for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress.  ’ ‘  freedom is really hard to get used to.  ’ ‘  how could you do this to me?  how fucking could you?  ’ ‘  i am becoming everything we always dreamed of  &  i am leaving you behind.  ’ ‘  i buried you so well that you might as well have died.  ’ ‘  i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead  &  not the monster you became.  ’ ‘  i can’t look at you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t ask how you’ve been.  what’s the point?  you’d lie anyways.  ’ ‘  i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest.  ’ ‘  i haunted this house first.  there is no room for you here.  ’ ‘  i have a right to be upset.  i loved them too, you know.  ’ ‘  i just want it to end.  i want it to all go away.  i want to go away.  ’ ‘  i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing,  but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous.  ’ ‘  i saw your face today  &  didn’t feel anything.  i am free.  ’ ‘  i tried to save you,  but you didn’t want to be saved.  you just wanted someone to suffer with you.  ’ ‘  it’s almost as if you were never here.  ’ ‘  it’s unhealthy to do these things,  you tell me.  you say it’s time to stop smoking,  time to stop gambling,  &  dammit,  i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you.  i sure hope you’re right,  darling.  ’ ‘  i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind  ’ ‘  i’m not really scared to die.  i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone.  ’ ‘  i’m not the person you left behind anymore.  there’s no one here to miss.  ’ ‘  i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive.  ’ ‘  i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals  &  ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you.  ’ ‘  i’ve never been completely satisfied.  i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death.  ’ ‘  no motive other than pleasure,  my dear.  ’ ‘  one day i’ll go or you will.  either way,  it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself.  ’ ‘  our dreams  &  promises decay along with you.  ’ ‘  the leaves change,  but nothing else does.  ’ ‘  the only difference between avoiding  &  leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you.  ’ ‘  there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you.  ’ ‘  there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage.  ’ ‘  things aren’t going as i hoped.  maybe if i die,  i can start over again?  better luck next time.  ’ ‘  this is not something to be proud of.  this is a tragedy.  ’ ‘  trying to get rid of me?  oh honey,  you’ll have to try much harder than that.  ’ ‘  trying to get under my skin?  you’re nothing more than a pesky itch.  ’ ‘  unlike you,  i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger.  ’ ‘  weeping is for gods  &  martyrs,  we cannot afford such luxuries.  ’ ‘  would you even miss me?  ’ ‘  you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart.  ’ ‘  you complain nonstop about being unloved  &  alone,  i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true.  ’ ‘  you don’t know what it’s like.  ’ ‘  you made this so fucking easy for me.  ’ ‘  you should see me as a threat.  i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you.  i am a walking threat.  ’ ‘  you think i’m already gone,  but i’m still fighting.  ’ ‘  you think i’m dead,  but i’m just dying.  ’ ‘  you were never an addiction,  you were a fucking disease.  ’ ‘  you wouldn’t dare cross me.  i am god  &  you are the soil beneath my feet.  ’ ‘  your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity.  ’ ‘  your fingers are so cold  &  bruised,  but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference.  ’ ‘  your hair is tied in a noose  &  your fingernails are razor blades,  your lips are poison  &  i will gratefully kiss them.  ’ ‘  your hatred has a body count  &  we will not forget.  ’ ‘  your loss,  not mine.  ’ ‘  you’re a sick fuck.  you know that?  ’ ‘  you’re not gentle with me  &  i would never ask you to be.  ’ ‘  you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore,  it’s a pit.   ’

[empyrd]

so anyway who wants to ship with m-

[empyrd]

so anyway who wants to ship with m-

[empyrd]

BEFORE  SHIPPING  WITH  ME ,  YOU  NEED  TO  KNOW   //  

i  will  get  invested  almost  instantly. 

i  will  invade  your  inbox  //  im’s  //  discord  etc  for  plots  //  headcanon’s  //  and  general  yelling  about  our  ship. 

i  will  tag  you  in  gifsets  //  images  //  posts  that  remind  me  of  our  ship.  

i  will  send  you  almost  every  meme  you  reblog  //  pop  into  your  ask  IC  spontaneously.  

i  will  get  on  your  nerves  eventually  but  that’s  fine  we’re  fine  it’s  fine.  

i  won’t  force  anything  on  you  that  you’re  not  comfortable  with  and  will  always  discuss  any  uncomfortable  //  triggering  subjects  with  you.  because  as  my  rp  partner  and  friend  i  respect  you  and  your  boundaries.  

[empyrd]

♛   //   @hlycrwn   ,   unprompted   . ❛ ... el , ❜

    SHE WILL REMEMBER THE FIRE . the way it danced around the room &&. grew in size -- like a beast growing hungrier by the minute . she will also remember the blood . scattered splotches dotting here &&. there around them -- such a high number that it almost seemed natural to be there . like there was nothing wrong about what had just happened .

     SHE STARTED THIS WAR &&. she would never see the end of it . war demanded blood . blood &&. a high body count ; the crown of the empress -- the horns of the devil -- would soon be lost to war as well . so it would seem she had caused her own destruction .

    HE’S THERE , TOO . of course he is . no end of hers would be met without him there , be it by her side or against her . of course , she always knew deep down it would be the latter . his morals too high for the bloodshed , his sight not good enough to see the end she saw . &&. what a tragic end it turned out to be , for edelgard at least , as dimitri would be hailed as a hero .

    HER OWN BLOOD joins the floor , layers upon layers of blood already beneath her own . she cannot see it but she can feel it . the countless lives of the people who had died fighting for her &&. of those that had fought against her . wherever they were now , she would be joining them soon .

    ❛ ... el , ❜

    DOESN’T HE KNOW IT’S POINTLESS ? doesn’t he know that she would never have backed down ? maybe he didn’t know her so well , after all .

    SHE HAD ALREADY LOST . she was already gone . she wasn’t going to ask for his forgiveness , she could never truly accept it , anyway . but she wanted to . she wanted to go back in time , find a way to fix things , prevent all the suffering . but that was impossible . if she could do that , this war wouldn’t be happening in the first place .

    MAYBE SHE COULD HAVE SAVED HERSELF . maybe she could have kept her life , her happiness , &&. her brother . she misses the times when she would see him as a child . he always made her smile . the person in front of her now was hard to recognize . true , she knew it was him . she knew that , deep down , dimitri had truly never changed from the boy she remembered . maybe the reason why she couldn’t find that boy is because of how she had changed . or maybe , because of the way that she had changed him .

    IT’S ALL HER FAULT , in the end . it’s always her fault . how could she blame anyone else but herself ? her morals , her ideals , they were just &&. she didn’t regret them -- didn’t regret any of this &&. yet she felt sorry . sorry for the boy who’s family she killed , sorry for the blood beneath her , sorry for the classmates who had stood beside her instead of saving themselves . but there was no other way , was there ?

    IT DIDN’T MATTER . focusing on what had already happened would only distract her from the future . of course , now , she knew that she wouldn’t take part in that future . but dimitri would be there . dimitri the king , dimitri the hero , dimitri , who called her el , who had trusted her , who she betrayed , who still looked at her like there was good in her despite everything she had done . he had tried to give her one last chance but she failed , failed , failed .

    &&. NOW SHE SEES HIM AGAIN . sees the boy prince who would rule for years , be good &&. kind to his people . fódlan would know peace . it seemed that the solution to war was dimitri himself . or maybe , he was the alternative that she spent years trying to find . or maybe , this story wouldn’t end happily for him , either . for all she knew , he could die in just a few moments . she hopes though , truly , that this won’t be the case .

    EITHER WAY , she hopes that -- when he does pass on , wherever he &&. she may end up -- they see each other again . &&. when that happens , 

    she wants him to call her ❛ el ❜ again .

[empyrd]

@empyrd   .

‘ dimitri . ‘

                𝐅 𝐎 𝐑   𝐀   𝐌 𝐎 𝐌 𝐄 𝐍 𝐓  ,  𝐓 𝐇 𝐄 𝐘 ’ 𝐑 𝐄   𝐂 𝐇 𝐈 𝐋 𝐃 𝐑 𝐄 𝐍   𝐀 𝐆 𝐀 𝐈 𝐍  ;    she  ,  calling his name with a softness  /  curiosity reserved for hearts that have not yet had the innocence  bled out  of them  &  he     ————     soul intact  /  hand reaching for her own in the hopes of intertwining their fingers  ,  of linking them together  ;  she may cut her own path forward but  he would love to see it from her side .  there is hope there  ,  small and nestled within their ribs  /  it died somewhere in the distance that spanned between them as years marched on and bodies began to pile up around them but oh  ,  he swears he can hear it  chirping  somewhere within his chest  /  newly born  ,  stretching its wings once again and  /  he stares down at her  ,  while she stares up at him and the silence in her own chest echoes louder than the song within his own .

for a moment  ,  they are children again .  he is watching her leave and knows  ,  this time  ,  that he will never see her again  ,  ‘ el ’  to be dismembered  &  her pieces scattered in graves dug so deep you cannot begin to see the bottom  /  her mouth open in a silent scream  ,  frozen .  in her place will come  edelgard  ,  a winter forged heart and snow laden hair to replace the autumn that once trailed behind her and that girl is dead  ,  dead  ,  dead     ————     a siren smiles up at him with soft temptation  &  he knows the stories  /  she only wants to  swallow him whole .

“ dimitri , ”    she  /  it  /  the  being  that has burrowed itself within his sister’s soul and eaten her up from the  inside out  so it may wear her skin in her place spoke to him so  sweetly  and he thinks whoever he  used to be  would’ve believed it .  but he carries within him his own beast  ,  his own monster  /  a  wolf  with fangs bloodied from the act of  devouring his naivety  and it knows better  /  he knows better  /  they know  ,  they know  ,  they know that     ————

her arm twitches  ,  and so does his .

he barely feels it  ,  the blade lodging itself within his chest  ,  narrowly missing the broken organ beating beneath it  ;  it exists as a memory from the moment it occurs  ,  the pain already in the past and while the future holds the image of a young woman  /  a friend  /  a sibling’s gaze going  empty      (  the smile stays  /  still soft  ,  still warm  ,  still a lie  /  a lie  /  a  lie  )      as her blood stains the blade of the lance tearing through bone and muscle and whatever this  hollow shell  still pretended to hold in between .

for a moment  ,  they’re  /  they’re  /  they’re  dimitri  and  el  and he does not hand her the dagger .  it is plunged to the hilt within her stomach as they stare  ,  unblinking  /  somehow both knowing  /  he does not give her the dagger  ,  and she does not go home and her body  /  small  &  vacant falls forward and for a moment     ————

❛  …  may you finally have found the chance to rest .  ❜          they are  the king of  faerghus  and an  emperor’s corpse  being slid off of his lance and he wonders if this is mercy  ,  sending the body to finally sleep where the soul has long been buried  /  he wonders if it’s a cruelty  /  if it matters at all .

her body is a quiet sound as it falls upon the floor beneath his feet and from the corner of his eye he sees her silhouette standing among the ghosts that watch him from the shadows  /  he removes the dagger  ,  clutches it within his hand and turns  ,  numb and desiring only to leave .

once  ,  they were children .  and the truth is  /  they never could’ve been again .

[empyrd]

     now that i have icons it’s!! promo time! hi i’m sarah and you should give this a like or a reblog if you’re interested in interacting with an axe-wielding princess from fire emblem: three houses and i’ll check out your blog. thanks in advance!

[empyrd]

     tags time tags time -- just basic ones ( same as they are on my other blogs ) for now because a) i’m lazy and b) ...i don’t have a b

[empyrd]

don’t talk to me or the 125 icons i made from 12 sprites ever again .

[empyrd]

theme is up! let me know if anything doesn’t work!

[empyrd]

so maybe i’m having feelings over the fact that whenever edelgard thinks about the future she thinks in terms of the country’s future after the war rather than her own future like she. doesn’t consider what’s going to happen to herself as much because doing what she believes would improve the country is more important to her but also el sweetie you need to live your life

[empyrd]

fellas is it gay to--

[empyrd]

oh? s-ranks?

[empyrd]

me, seeing people talking about their ships: okay i have three blogs now so uh ?? there’s no excuse for Not shipping with me , really

[empyrd]

i’m not even allowed to participate in this stuff yet but i’m going to anyway!! edelgard isn’t ticklish but if you try to tickle her she may flinch thinking that you’re trying to hurt her so... maybe don’t do that?

[empyrd]

also @ the people that followed this blog instantly despite the fact that i have no clue what i’m doing: i hope you’re ready to be forceloved