#and adding my own comments thru out the whole thing

[maraschinotopped]

may or may not have spent 2 hours going through a tumblr collaborate effort google slides presentation. i dont know why.

[nogodsnomorales]

Know that I am going to get pretty serious here, as this post is about Punkflower. I am going to talk about the age situation, the blatant racism ABOUT this ship, and to also talk about the ship itself*. There is also some talk about the shippers/non-shippers + Punkflower antis in general.

[*nothing negative! just like.. discussing it as a whole, because everybody needs to be aware of some important things. the shippers, non-shippers/people on neutral ground, AND the haters/antis.]

There is a BIG wall of text incoming, but all of it is organized to its very best at what I could do!! I first wrote this in docs, I did my best to make it not a whole chaotic mess to read through. It's a big post, but there's a lot of spacing and some text is coloured, so it will be very easy to read.

This is a very detailed and THROUGH post, so it is slightly recommended to read on computer for the best viewing experience.

[It's not needed as you can still just read on your phone/etc, I do want you lovely people to have the best viewing experience possible.]

There will be an expand button, so I will not clog your feed and the tags.

TDLR;

Dear punkflower shippers,

your prayers have been ANSWERED. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT SHIPPING PUNKFLOWER NOW 🙏

punkflower shippers, do not live in fear no more, for I am here now.

Sincerely, 

tumblr user: godunforgiving

Edited Note (06/21); FYI, I am muting this! Read the edit change log at the end of this post for more information. If you have any concerns or inquiries regarding this post, do not hesitate and feel free to DM me!

punkflower talk/analysis(?) + talking about Hobie’s age

This entire post is a discussion of various things, of my own thoughts and opinions! Some of the talk is about the posts + comments I have seen other people say about this ship [mainly questioning and worried ones.] All of the pieces of information that I knew were scattered, so I wanted to gather all of what I could find, and put it in a singular post for those still worrying.

[Also where others can actually just refer to this post and just read thru here first, instead of having to spend a lot of time going through the Punkflower tag to desperately find info!]

I would have gotten this finished and posted days ago, but you know, usual IRL things slowed me down, and I had to spend my day in the ER yesterday, lol.. I’m okay as of now! Just have to take it easy, but I really did want to finish writing my ass off with this post, since I know it’s important to me and for many others out there.

Take your time to read through this, and please absolutely feel free to add any of your input/extra knowledge/anything that I should add onto this post. DMs can be the best, or just through the comments can suffice, because I can and will edit anything into this post [that is accurate aka there is backed up evidence/sources to go along with it.] If you do want to see something added here, just tell me and I'll see if I can manage!

I genuinely hope that this post can be helpful to you, as it will be helpful for me!

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Please know that; I will directly quote from many people, as all of them will be credited properly by being mentioned down below and leaving their username (that is linked back) with their respective quotes, because their own pieces of text really helped build this post! I cannot thank each person enough.

Do not be a piece of shit and go after or ‘witch hunt’ any of them. Respect their own privacy and being.

users mentioned (IOOA): @comfortingnightmare, @luvvnobo, @ghostspider-isms, @saltylemonade13, @artisan-is-bored, @bellamer, @uglynavel, @peachypea0ny (fyi, site is not allowing me to tag), @crownecromancer, @raspberryjars, @spideyzpoolsp, @hamiltonforpowerpoint

[If you are one of the mentioned people, and you want yourself to be removed or become anonymous, please let me know ASAP!]

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Notes:

If you are colourblind (some of the text is coloured fyi! colours used are blue, pink, and purple), or have difficulty reading text due to it being too small, or can't read the font, etc, please let me know! I can give you a google docs link of this entire post that is best suited for your needs. No, you will not be a burden to me. Your needs are very important, and I will want to assist with the best that I can do with that!

I, godunforgiving, am on a mix of a positive + neutral ground on the topic of shipping Punkflower. I absolutely adore the comic!Punkflower, and I am fond of ATSV!Punkflower with the way I view it. Reason why I said neutral, know that I am not against the ships by any means!! But I guess why I say that is because there wasn’t a lot of canon media to consume [ATSV!Punkflower], and I want more [Also note that I have NOT seen the movie yet.] I don’t usually ‘do’ shipping when it comes to various franchises, I guess it’s mainly just not my thing? But I do know that I’ve come to like Punkflower.

I do not ‘do’ discourses, nor do I intend to actively join them! This is my first time doing something like this / this being my first ‘discourse’, yet I hope for it to be my last. I made this post with the pure intention to help the Punkflower shippers. Do know that!! I know that many people do not like the topic of discourses, but this one and the problems I’ve seen revolving around Punkflower, I just have to say something. Bc idk if anybody else is going to [with the way I did this post], considering the mess that occurred days ago, but someone has to and has to do it properly.

I am autistic, so I may process words + information differently, or even ‘incorrectly’. So if a sentence doesn’t make sense, due to perhaps my misuse of grammar, etc, please do not hesitate to ask/reach out, and I can do my best to re-explain it to you.

Negative comments [and comments directly to this post where the person is actually spreading misinfo], will be deleted. Know that if you decide that you disagree with this post, then okay! I am not bothering you, just as I hope that you will revert to ignoring me, instead of hating on me. Please have the common decency to just be kind or even don’t say anything at all, and carry on with your day.

If you have any concerns regarding this post, do not hesitate to reach out to me.

this post was originally inspired by a friend, then originally created for @feuille-morte, but it is finished for the rest of the punkflower fans, ily all. take care of yourselves!! anything for these cute silly little guys ok (and the entire punkflower nation)

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let’s get started with an introduction.

“what is Punkflower?”

Punkflower is a slash [aka queer] relationship between two black male teenagers, Hobie Brown and Miles Morales. Usually, it is perceived a romantic relationship, as some other people only see the pairing as a platonic duo and such. I do not know more forms of Punkflower, but I will use the 'main' two forms in this post. Comic![SG!]Punkflower [SG is Spider-Geddon, a comic series first released on Sept 2018], and Across the Spider-Verse aka ATSV!Punkflower.

Think of it as the same ships with the same characters, but in different fonts.

Comic!SG!Punkflower has existed for nearly 5 years now, likely first existing sometime in late 2018 to early-mid 2019. Both Miles and Hobie are very close in age in the comics, at around 16 to 17 years old. Away from Spider-Geddon(?), but still on the topic of comics, Hobie is still 16-17 in the comics.

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“people are saying Punkflower is a problematic ship!”

The main [and probably only] source of this misinformation, is from a clip that was cropped to be posted with the intention of spreading heavy misinformation (We will get into that next.) So, as far as I am aware, and know; Punkflower antis are throwing around p/do allegations, because they hate the ship and they are outraged with people enjoying it. This hate is clearly rooted with racism, and homophobia. So, no, Punkflower is not a minor x adult ship!

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“the interview talk, what happened, and what is actually real?”

If you’ve watched the interview, you can easily see that they were talking about the brainstorming process of developing Hobie's early ideas for his character. A director mentioned that in the early concept stage, Hobie was originally going to be 19-20 [This wasn’t even our Hobie, but Prowler Hobie.]

A person cut a very small clip of the mentioned interview, and uploaded it, a clip that was EXTREMELY out of context. 

The uploader cut out the part explaining that Hobie’s ‘original’ age had changed as his character was being developed.

So from this, and no context given, a lot of people were instantly quick to hate; since it was on purpose to make the entire ship, AND those who enjoyed the ship, look extremely bad. What happened was not okay, yet this disgusting behaviour is at an attempt to be justified [and those people are trying to justify literal racism and homophobia.]

“19-20 thing that the directors mentioned were Hobie’s early designs ideas but those eventually changed as his character changed. Even one of the directors said its up to interpretation plus even his VA was all hinty towards Gwen and hobie so honestly its up to you what his age is" - comfortingnightmare

As soon as the clip came out, I had started to see a number of people saying that, apparently, Hobie looked like he was in his 20s to his 30s** (while also throwing subtle/discreet hits towards the Punkflower ship), but this was after the clip came out.

**Literally saw someone on Tumblr say that he looked like 28, and trying to shut down the idea of Hobie being a teenager. Like be completely serious with me right now..

Things don’t quite add up here. This was because of WHAT Hobie only looked like, and now it just has to be racially motivated, as there are no solid explanations or reasonings for their behaviour and disgust. Those people just look bad [as they should.]

So, no, Hobie is not 19-20. Another director had confirmed that Hobie’s age is UP TO INTERPRETATION.

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[TLDR; The interview got taken completely out of context from a clip that made people start throwing SERIOUS accusations left and right.. Since more people actually later found out that the clip was taken out of context [instead of doing research], the situation died down, but people are walking on eggshells now. The haters were being desperate likely because Punkflower is a black queer/mlm relationship, since there is no solid explanation for this hating.]

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“So.. what can we interpret Hobie’s age as?”

That is where I come in! I have many reasons that can help you decide what Hobie's age is to you. And those many reasons are speculated on Hobie's age being 16-17, as many users already guess that Hobie's age is equivalent to a teenager's age. I also believe this idea, as there are many things that already support this thought process.

[But if you like.. (god, I hope nobody does) go through this list and conclude that Hobie is 18+ and continue to ship that Hobie and 15 yr old Miles (or any of the minors).. GTFOH.]

1. Hobie Brown in other media (I’m talking about the comics for instance) is commonly shown for Hobie to be a teenager at either 16 or 17 years old.

“Hobie is in fact labeled as ‘badmouthed teenager’ since 2014 and is 16-17 in the comics and that just because he doesnt have a confirmed/canonical age in ATSV, hes still in the age range of a teenager (16-18)" - luvvnobo

2. Topic of the spider-bite. 

ATSV!Hobie is likely to be 16-17 years old (18 at the latest), meaning that he would have been bit at the ages of 13-15. So IF Hobie was bit 3 years ago / at 14 years old, then he would be 16-17.

Realistically, this really could have happened, considering Hobie’s living conditions! [aka what led to Hobie getting bit by a radioactive spider in the comics.] If he indeed gets bit at 14 years old (like how Miles and Gwen got bit at that age for example), then either 16 or 17 yrs old.

Again, with how he lived; if he got bit at 13 = 15-16 years old in crrnt events of ATSV. [If you don’t know of Hobie’s conditions, in the comics I’m pretty sure he, like, basically lived on the streets as a homeless teenager]

“During the "Spider-Verse" storyline, the Earth-138 version of Spider-Man is revealed to be Hobart Brown, originally operating as Spider-Punk. He is a homeless teenager who was transformed by a spider that was irradiated as part of President Norman Osborn's toxic waste dumping.” - Spider-Punk: Wikipedia

The topic of the bite / needing to know if Hobie was (x) age when he got bit, isn’t very serious, as he is already grouped with 3 kids.

3. It would be unlikely (and also weird) for a four man crew to be 3/4 teenagers and 1 adult;

WHILE ALSO implying that the mentioned ‘adult’ and one of the mentioned teenagers could’ve had something going on. [Even if nothing really happened (keyword = implying), and how Pavitr treated it in that way, implies that Hobie isn’t that much older than the three.] [I would have kept this reason combined with the Spider bite topic aka reason No.2, since it’s actually referenced off of pastelnightgale’s post, just that this paragraph alone is solid enough as a separate reason.]

4. Hobie’s mannerisms.

Note, I haven’t seen the movie, but I have seen many clips. From those clips, he’s definitely a teenager at least, it made me feel like Hobie was 16 or 17 years old. I’ve asked two of my brothers; they said that he definitely was their age [both being 17.]

“my two cents on the age debate is like. hobie doesn’t have the vibes of an adult even if his age is up to “interpretation”. like i’m eighteen and bro has definitely gotta be younger than that. he makes my “stupid younger sibling” sense go haywire." - ghostspider-isms

5. If you look up “how old is hobie brown”

You will already see many people speculating that Hobie is likely to be around the same age range as Miles and Gwen [if not a bit older.]

Again, Hobie is already 16-17 years old in the comics. 

“in the spiderverse, we have seen that it is common for most spiders (gwen and miles specifically) to get bitten around 14. hobie states he’s been spider-man for three years, meaning he’s most likely 16-17." - artisan-is-bored

6. “Like if Hobie is really 19+ then why is it only a problem with Punkflower?? Wouldn’t the whole love triangle thing be a problem????" - saltylemonade13

Yes. It would be a SERIOUS problem. It also would make the other ships [Chaipunk, others with minors in them] very problematic and illegal ships. But Hobie isn't 18+.

7. Ageing down process happening to various characters in Spider Verse, and Hobie non affected?

If Gwen and the other spiders are aged down in Spiderverse, then it doesn’t make sense that Hobie was not aged down like the others.

8. Hobie literally hangs out around teenagers.

If an adult is constantly hanging out with other children, then that obviously would be the first problem. I wouldn’t really need to keep talking any more about this one. Because if a 19-20 year old was spending a majority of his time around young teenagers, ages ranging 15 through 17, and not really with anybody else his age or above, then yes, that’s already weird.

“it’s also implied that miles is jealous of gwen and hobie. why would the directors make a key plot point of the story be that hobie is a grown ass man hanging out with a bunch of teenagers? and that he might have a thing with one of them???" - artisan-is-bored

9. Genetics do not matter within age.

This is one of my most common quotes by now. Hobie is indeed very tall at almost 6 ft, yes. No, it does not mean that he is above 18+ years old. Hobie can be over 6 ft tall and still be 16-17 years old.

I have seen so many teenagers at drastically different heights, but still be the same age. Many of them being over 6 ft [180 cm], and still being in my age range, and having met a 5’10” 8th grader [aka 13 yrs old] years ago. Both of my previously-mentioned brothers are 6 ft and over 6 ft, yet they are only 17.

“people can look one age and be another." - artisan-is-bored

“hobie’s description as a character. hobie is a foul mouthed TEENAGER. that has been his description for the past five years." - artisan-is-bored

10. “how do i tell them Punkflower has been a thing since 2018 or 2019 and they have interacted in the comics (they are close in age)" - luvvnobo

11. “He has to be an adult, because he goes to pubs!!” Let’s be absolutely HONEST here.

“dude is BFF’s with the Riri of his universe, she can probably whip up a fake ID in no time and even if Riri isn’t in the Spiderverse, he still gets around and knows people. he’s definitely cool with someone who makes fake ID’s." - bellamer

What bellamer said. To add onto this, a pub is different from a BAR as well.

If you look up “what is a pub vs bar” your first result will be this.

To also add, all bars in England aren’t considered pubs.

“If you’re 16 or under, you may be able to go to a pub (or premises primarily used to sell alcohol) if you’re accompanied by an adult. However, this isn’t always the case. It can also depend on the specific conditions for that premises. It’s illegal to give alcohol to children under 5." From the official GOV of the UK website

But literally, let’s be honest here, Hobie would already know at least one person who will help him get in a pub, if he cannot do so himself. If Hobie is constantly going to pubs, then that does not mean he is getting drinks 24/7 when he is there, unless stated otherwise. Pubs focus on serving food and to give drinks [upon request] to go along with the meal.

Before 1995, children under the age of 14 were NOT allowed in pubs in England and Wales. And Hobie is definitely by no means 14. He is likely 16, or 17. He can already drink, with adult supervision, at 16 in pubs. But we know that Hobie is no law-abiding Spider-man.

12. “Hobie wouldn’t be able to own his own place!”

“it’s a key part of hobie’s comic backstory that he used to be homeless. once again, the breaking the law point still stands. wouldn’t be surprised if hobie bought an apartment with a fake ID, was squatting, or was staying in some sort equivalent of the community center that he used as his main group’s operation headquarters in the comics.” - artisan-is-bored

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I do not think that another director/anybody who worked on the movie will come out and say that Hobie is actually 18+ at this point. I CAN be wrong in the future, but right now, he is not, and there are my reasons for why I strongly agree with the idea of Hobie being a teenager.

ALTHOUGH, even IF a director comes out and says that ATSV!Hobie is actually 18+, obviously all of the ATSV!ships with him and the other minors should STOP RIGHT NOW. But as of now [06/13/23 (when I first wrote this)], and from what we already know, I do not see anything wrong with ATSV!Punkflower and my views.

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The racism revolving Punkflower is disgusting.

I’ve seen a lot of people bashing Punkflower when the whole misinfo-hobie-being-19/20-situation occurred, but ONLY with Punkflower [from what I’ve seen.] I didn’t see any of this happening to the other ships that Hobie is in / shipped with Gwen, and Pavitr.

I have not seen any, quite literally nobody, complaining about any other ship that isn’t Punkflower, and it’s insanely overwhelming and confusing?? People don’t complain when it comes to Hobie x Gwen, but if it’s with two queer black boys? Huge problem all of a sudden.

“Love how when it was Hobie and Gwen no one batted an eye but as soon as people started shipping two black males together all of a sudden everyone’s disgusted and outraged” - uglynavel

“none of y’all had a problem w gwen and hobie, but when hobie started getting shipped with miles and pav? y’all got pissed. get your racist and homophobic head out of your ass. even if hobie IS an adult in the movie, that still doesn’t mean that shipping him with miles in the comics suddenly isn’t valid. newsflash, gwen is MUCH OLDER than hobie in his universe.” - artisan-is-bored

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Other quotes, that I wanted to point out, but I didn’t sort them into a spot;

“There are a lot more weird problems in the ATSV fandom, yet people are worried about Flowerpunk and whether Hobie is of age, or not. Those problems are full on grown ass people sexualizing Miles, Gwen, and likely more. There’s already stuff about Peter B. and Miles ship, and THAT is an active problem on hand. More people need to worry about all of that instead of a guy who has an up-to-interpretation age (but is strongly, likely, a 16-17 year old if not an adult.)” - peachypea0ny

“I can’t even enjoy comic versions of punkflower without me being called a pedo or having multiple fucking comments telling me over and over that punkflower is a proship.” - uglynavel

“I’m sorry it’s just really not fucking fair what In THE ACTUAL MOVIE it can imply something between Gwen and Hobie but the SECOND people started shipping two black boys together then it became a huge fucking problem, here’s the thing if Hobie is actually older and they never say that in the movie but imply something to the audience that him and a sixteen year old girl could possibly have something between them THEN THATS GROSS I DONT CARE HOW GOOD THE MOVIE IS! But Hobie is always, in other crossovers and his comics he is around 16, he has met Miles before in canon the ship’s not new, it was just small.” - crownecromancer (Edited to make sense, by me, godunforgiving.)

“punkflower is originally a comic ship, its been around for ages before atsv, its normal for shippers to crossover into different areas where the same characters are. he doesnt have an age on his wiki and why would he be said to have a love triangle with gwen if he WAS 19/20, idk why ppl have such a problem with punkflower but not with hobie and gwen??” - raspberryjars

“this is what happens when you believe in misinformation on the internet. no, there is no age gap, because hobie does not even have a canon age. if you watch the interview, instead of 10 seconds of it, he says it was early concepts of hobie. another director has confirmed his age is up to interpretation.. so. yall rlly need to stop with this, its weird asl. this whole thing was rooted in racism and homophobia, stop spreading misinformation I BEG.” - spideyzpoolsp

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Another disclaimer/notice;

PLEASE, PLEASE STOP BELIEVING IN EVERYTHING THAT YOU SEE!! EVEN IN TIKTOK OR TUMBLR!

IF it’s a piece of information that could be misinformation revolving around Punkflower or Hobie Brown, or anything, DO find out if it is real or fake asap!

I’m using a method that I remember from my elementary school that was constantly talked about [can’t believe I’d bring it up in a post about a ship years later], however it really does pay out and work anywhere else tbh. The “Stop, Think, Act method”.

STOP = Pause, if it distresses you; then take a breath to calm down, avoid doing anything on impulse aka don't do anything without thinking carefully beforehand.

THINK = Instead of the “what is the problem, what are the options, best path forward?” in the method itself, we will reuse this but change stuff up that can apply directly to this post. So after stopping and calming down, we will think carefully and review what we already KNOW. If it’s where the piece of information is easily seen/known as misinfo, then you are good. If the piece of misinfo is affecting something that we already know, then we move onto the next step.

ACT = “Proceed with the best option. Act carefully, and revise if needed.” The best option forward from thinking, is to do research, and make sure that it is actually real, and not misinformation with lies laced within. IF it is indeed misinformation, then it is the best to alert others, with proof.

If you are thinking “But why even mention that method??” The best example to use this method is with the age discourse blowup. A LOT of people believed in the misinformation very, very fast. What should’ve happened is that the mentioned method should’ve occurred early, to help prevent most of the freak out and its damages. But many users may not have thought of that, or even know the method, so it is okay. At least it calmed down a lot as of now, just that people are now likely afraid.

[Note; I am NOT blaming anybody!! I also freaked out a bit too, but I stuck to what I already knew, until I found more information. At first I heard “Hobie is 19-20!!!!” I figured that it must’ve been misinfo through what I already knew, because adding all of what I knew and this uproar of info, it just didn’t add up from what I alrd knew. but I still researched and did my homework!! Just that more people should naturally second-guess things that they are suspicious of and also be aware of that method and to apply it online, as it is already useful in real life!]

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Wrapping this post up, finally.

It��s sad to see different Punkflower fans fight each other. But it’s also outrageous and annoying to see the plat!Punkflower shippers, who see Miles and Hobie strictly in a brotherly relationship, to throw the term ‘!ncest / pseudo-!ncest’ against the romantical Punkflower shippers.. Like holy shit, that doesn’t make you any better. Can people, please, stop throwing serious accusations against other people so nonchalantly?

These accusations are SO serious and life changing, even if it's pointed at the wrong person. But people are just too ignorant to realize that unfortunately.

“You see him (Hobie) as 19/20 who’s a big brother to the other spiders? Cool! You see him as 16/17 rebel teen amazing!” - hamiltonforpowerpoint

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End post.

Reblogs, likes, and comments of your own opinions of this post are so welcome!

Again, ily all and take care of yourselves!!

and again, if anything you think that should be added onto the post, let me know! have a great day everybody

A friend asked what’s up with the discourse, asked me to make a post, after hours of research - I absolutely fucking DELIVERED. Love you guys.

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Edit #1 (06/15); had to reformat some things since it just looked broken to me! Using the editor on mobile is a PAIN.. 0/10.

Edit #2 (06/16); an edit update! I rewrote some things (to hope to make the post sound more better), added some stuff in the notes section and some throughout the post itself, updated the crediting so the quotes used are credited and linked back to hell!!!! bc crediting others is awesome! and the post is also def over 4.2k words lol

Edit #3 (06/17); An anon told me that I was “misusing” the 'proship' term, so I edited the post. Proshitters can go to hell for all I care. To clarify, I am talking about problematic shippers. Edit #4 (06/19); oh my god 600+ notes?? i hope all of you are having an EXCELLENT month okay.. i love you guys <3 /plat

Edit #5 (06/21); I am muting this! I saw some people reply to this post, but I just do not have the ability to respond to them (Selective mutism), I did write “drafts” to them, but I do not feel like polishing it and responding. Just busy with other things, honestly! I may end up responding some time later, so yeah. If you have any concerns or inquiries regarding this post, do not hesitate and feel free to DM me!

Every once a few weeks I may check up on this post as well, until I stop altogether.

[imaginespazzi]

Hi hi hi!

Reporting live and procrastinating responsibilities :). So heres my rundown, pretty much matchy matchy w yours, naturally: Generally the video vibes almost 💯 fit with the allegations 🙃. Please bear w the rambling thoughts in no particular order. Im not sure how one could possibly cohesively recap ALL THAT lol. Ok it blows my mind how much they personally had to catch up on w one another! God damn babes, you havent talked much if at all in nearly a month. Again it screams that there was more of a relationship (ending poorly).. Even friends moving apart prob wouldve had more contact over that time. Sometimes I wonder how they dont realize what they reveal by what they leave ~unsaid/not explained! Though G’s “really bad breakup” comment felt weighted given their situation. To me much of the injury discussion came across as carry over from the In The Mirror. With G making a point to say nice things (good memories of playing together;tearing up when Liz got hurt; not being wholly herself as a player w/out Kitley;the frustration at team reaction after the game following the injury; belief that Liz will recover/be drafted etc.). And G’s words still feel to me like a way of her dealing with some guilt which she cant quite yet express or process. Especially considering her adding stuff about being w the Kitley fam lately and helping move Liz’s stuff ha. If a person ever questioned something going down between L&G, I’ll say alarm bells went off when L described her night following the injury and staying over w Cayla. In such a low moment, poor girlie really couldnt manage being at her own place thats shared w one of her closest pals. Ooof. However, on the whole, they sounded more comfortable at times than I expected. In fact the convo sometimes got surprisingly open and loose - gals dont tell me that we had a bit of liquid courage before recording. ;) And it did stand out to me that L asked the “fans” on multiple occasions to just be decent and grateful for what they had + be understanding of decision making under the situation, but stopped short of telling people to leave G alone (which, given everything we’re led to believe, fair play hun). My big takeaway was that they seem to be taking this time of big adjustment as also a new beginning to possibly recover a friendship. Clearly theres still issues to work thru, but perhaps theyve reached a more settled/amicable place? Or at least were just able to deal w each other long enough to provide us all w a semi closure pod 😐. But heres hoping for more future content, as they hinted at! Oh and as someone who works w/in college athletics, I was very sympathetic to their comments throughout re change. Its a crazy industry, stuff happens in the blink of an eye and you do just have to deal with that ish. The harsh reality of the current state of things is that one rarely gets a neat, happy closure.

Happy Sunday to you bestie, hope its fantastic! -☕️

Reporting live and procrastinating is so real, like me asf fr fr.

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. Like they seemed so out of the loop when it came to each other's life and that's just so weird to me? I mean I get it could just be regular friends drifting but that wasn't the ~vibe~ at all to me and maybe again it's the allegations bias but it was just very much giving exes.

Hardcore agree with the Georgia stuff because I thought some of what she was saying felt a bit like an overcompensation, an apology of sorts to make up in a way for anything else that *might* have happened. Honestly Georgia being so nice, no shade, doesn't really fit the dynamic from before where sometimes Georgia's snark was just mean to me really.

Every new bit of info/content, I just continue to feel terrible for Liz. And I think her staying at Cayla's really gave away the depth of how much has happened between her and Georgia. And again yeah it could be a friend breakup but it just feel a little too serious for that.

Obviously I don't know a timeline, if there even is one, but this podcast gave me the vibes that if they were together, it's actually been a decent while since they broke up and are now in a place where they can co-exist in an amicable manner. I don't know if we'll ever get another podcast or if they'll actually be able to be in a genuine friendship again but I think they're in a good enough place and I do love that for them.

[drzootsuit]

Hi, I saw ur comment on the AI post while combing thru the notes. I’ve been seeing a lot of gorgeous architectural images come up in my feed and I’m discovering a lot of it is done with AI. I remain on the fence abt whether it’s cool or not, or whether to use it, bc im uneducated on what the ramifications could be. Do u think if we didn’t live in a capitalistic shitworld where artists didn’t have sell their creativity and their labor to live, that AI would still hinder or push out human creative expression? Is it’s shittiness inherent or is it just bad under these circumstances?

This is actually a really good question, and a very worthwhile chain of thought. While I endeavor to be thoughtful it's all too easy for my frothy-self to descend to loom smashing, so this is an angle worth considering. My opinion on things is heavily colored by my upbringing. It may sound pretentious, but for various reasons, I consider 'artist' as one of my cultural designations. For those who have taken sociology 101, I consider it one of my inherent status' rather than an ascribed status. Call it what you want, but for me, it's in my bones.

My problems with AI artwork are slightly hysterical at points as a result, but let's start with the most sensible note that you bring forth; the fact that we are within the system we are.

Our current form of capitalism is based around an eternal cancerous expansion of profit, and if one follows certain industries, (in my case, the games industry) one can easily see the problems with always trying to grow bigger in a finite world. Companies firing whole development teams right before shipping so that they don't have to pay them for actually completing the project, and other such acts of corporate autocannibalism are the signs of an animal that is nearing the cliff edge and begun choosing which of its own internal organs it can claw out in order to make itself lighter.

Art has always been at war with money. Making art requires money, but the people that control money tend not to understand art. This is obviously a gross tribalistic simplification, but the point is that the two need each other, can achieve great things in concert... and absolutely hate each other.

In a perfect money world, art and artists would be eliminated entirely. I speak with proof behind this: look at the NFT bubble from earlier this year. This was an attempt to boil artwork down to a stock price. Numbers to be traded and nothing more. The art attached to NFT's was crude, designed as such to carry the message of "the artwork doesn't matter. Only the money that makes it up."

So. When we look at AI, it becomes clear: a machine that can spit out art perfectly to order with no involvement from those annoying artists who demand respect, freedom, and worst of all, pay? This is a wet dream for the money. Under the current system of corporate function, AI art is one of the single most dangerous tools yet created. It stands against artwork, it stands against labor and negotiation in all forms, and it stands against the idea that art is worth anything more than cash.

But that wasn't your question. Do I, personally, consider AI art valuable if viewed without the context of the war of art vs money?

Me personally? No. This is where I will appeal to emotion so hard it will make anyone versed in debate weep enough to fill an overly-salty swimming pool.

In my view of things, Art is the result of every stimulus we recieve. Everything. Every single thing any of our senses receives goes into a huge bubbling rendering vat, and then we use that bubbling material to sculpt new works to portray our experiences and view of the world.

As such, I don't think it's worth using AI art as a jumping off point. Yes, it can provide some gummy material that can kickstart creative impulses, but to anyone that strapped for ideas, I would beg that they instead experience more things.

Hideo Kojima has spoken about his philosophy that an artist must always be adding new things to their rendering vat of experience, and I agree with him. no matter who you are, you haven't seen everything. Even within the purviews you obsess over. I love video games dearly, and even I have not played every single one. There will always be something new within the things you love, wether those things are sci-fi novels or urban architecture or tax filing systems. There is always something new to learn and see, and the pursuit of knowledge, of fresh experiences, of new people and new conversations about new topics, will, if you are an artist, spark something within you. And I think that shows what I think is another danger that AI art poses to artists: complacency.

Life begins at the end of our comfort zone. Artists must by nature be curious about the world and her people if they are to dream up stories within and without her boundaries. If an artist is able to punch in familiar keywords and receive a computer-made blob of associated goo made from stolen, unaccredited, scraped work, that artist has robbed themselves of the chance to examine themselves and the world around them.

Also, that's really the big issue. This shit comes from somewhere. The AI needs to be fed existing images in order to know what an image looks like, and there is no possible way for that to be done in a way that does not denigrate the work or the artists who make it. Even if that work is a cell-phone photo of a stack of pancakes, it is wrong for the machine to silently harvest it, and due to the other issues, I struggle to find any arrangement I am happy with even with consent and transparency.

So overall, while I think the technology is very impressive, and I can't blame people for getting excited about it, within my worldview, I am forced to be a curmudgeon. My view of art, the world, and humanity requires that I thank the programmers for their work, shake their hands on their success, marvel at the power of the technology, and then push the server cabinet off the edge of the building. It is a danger to human identity and the development of such.

Loom-smashers ahoy.

Thank you for your question! I absolutely love writing essays about things I'm impassioned about, and this was a blast.

[httpdabi]

Break up

Summary: After having a messed up break up, your best friend Dabi is there to comfort you, and give even more than you asked for.

Word count: 5,2k

Genre: romance, smut, no quirks haha

Warnings: 18+, creampie, public sex, spitting, choking..

,, I fucking hate him’’ you cried loudly, mouth full of ice cream as you talked to your cousin over the phone. At this point you didn’t care of how loud you were, and you didn’t care about the fact that your cousin had a hard time understanding you since you were a crying mess. Sobbing loudly, you ignored the words coming from the other line.

,, That bitch cheated on me with Toga, can you believe that?’’ you sobbed, tears rolling down your cheeks as you wrapped yourself with your favorite comfort blanket.

,, The girlie with weird hair ?’’ your cousin asked in shock.

,,YES, the fuck she thinking she’s the fifth element with that hairstyle?’’ you choked out, throwing the empty package across the room, as your cousin giggled because of your remark. She wished she was closer so she could pay you a visit, but sadly miles and miles were separating the two of you.

Sure, the first person you wanted to inform about your breakup was Touya, but you couldn’t force yourself to bother him, knowing he’s probably on work. You knew very well that he would drop everything and come over, saying how he doesn’t feel well or some other shit, and you didn’t want that.

After the call ended, you stood up, ignoring your reflection on the window, knowing very well that you look like shit right now with all the smudged mascara over your face. Tears started rolling down your cheeks even more when you saw that there’s no ice cram anymore. What did you do to deserve such a torture.

Wearing your hoodie, you made your way toward the nearest store, ignoring the people that were giving you weird stares because of your silly Sailor Moon pajama shorts. You couldn’t care less of what anyone thought in that moment.

You went to the store with the intention to buy ice cream, only to end up in the part of it with variant different choices of hairdye. So many ideas were going thru your mind, as you looked all over it. You almost ended up buying the pink dye and some bleach, until you saw scissors hanging beside the bleach.

Grabbing the scissors only, you hurried up to pay everything you chose, rolling your eyes shamelessly as you saw Rumi, the cashier of the fucking day. For some weird reason, you almost hated the muscular bitch. Maybe it was because she never had the exchange to give you back, giving you a pack of gums instead. Maybe it was because of her attitude, always giving you some smart comments, how your skirt is too short, how there are kids here, or even because she always rolled her eyes when she saw you coming in.

,, Looks like someone had a rough day’’ she commented sarcastically, as you gave your best to keep calm and ignore her. After the comment, she shut her mouth and did her job.

,, Sweetie, can you help?’’ she asked, suddenly with a cute tone, when her co-worker asked her to bring him few paper bags that were beside her.

,, No, you are doing great’’ you spat, grabbing all of the items as you hurried out of the store. The fuck would you help her? She’s getting paid for it, not you. Stupid bitch.

Placing the ice cream into the freezer, you immediately made your way to the toilet as you unpacked the scissors almost aggressively. Why would you dye and ruin your hair with bleach, when you could just cut off a bit of your hair, which meant the exact length of his dick.

Your hair was already long, and the fact that his dick wasn’t that big meant that you would only cut few inches. After short calculating, you grabbed the scissors, as you turned some silly tutorial on Youtube. Watching yourself in the mirror, you cried even harder, not because you regretted your decision. It was more because you looked like a lunatic.

After you finished, you immediately washed your face, cleaning all the ruined make up. Sure it didn’t look like a professional person did your hairstyle, but it didn’t look bad either, in fact, you liked it.

Since you weren’t in the mood to do your make up, you only put a bit of face cream over your face, and bit of mascara to make your eyes pop up a bit, before you took few selfies to post on instagram.

You were too lazy to do it, all you wanted to do in the moment was cry some more and eat ice cream you just bought, while watching something on Netflix. But you had to do it, you had to embarrass him as much he embarrassed you.

,, Not gonna miss those 5 inches, Kai.’’

You wrote, laughing ironically at the caption under your selfie. It wasn’t the best selfie you ever took, but at least you didn’t look like you were suffering because of the breakup, and the much shorter hair was visible on it.

[cyxnaf] Touya Todoroki

,, What happened?’’

It wasn’t even a minute since you posted your photo on the instagram, and your best friend already messaged you there.

Bitch cheated on me

You replied, sending him a crying selfie, with a spoon in your mouth.

[cyxnaf] Touya Todoroki

I’ll be there in 15 mins

A smile crept on your face, as you read his message. You loved him more than anyone or anything else on the whole word. If it was someone else coming over, you would probably force yourself and clean the apartment. But since it was Dabi, you didn’t give a shit.

The moment he arrived, you started bawling your eyes out. Having a face to face conversation with someone, talking about the break up made your feelings awake again. Dabi in other hand tried to make you feel better, bringing you your favorite snacks, and trying to put Kai down.

,, I’ve never had drama, unless it’s with my inner self’’ you cried loudly. ,, And all of sudden, I’m being cheated on.’’ Adding you grabbed the chips from the paper bag and opened it almost aggressively. Touya laughed you out, pointing every drama you’ve been connected to.

,, Stop it, you’re supposed to make me feel better’’ you slapped his arm lightly, as he talked about the drama that happened back in high school, when you got into a huge fight with a girl that called your dog a rat.

Once Touya realized that your mood was only getting worse, he turned some documentary on Netlfix that he started watching few days ago, explaining everything about it to you. You couldn’t help but smile, as you listened to him explaining every small thing, making sure you won’t be confused once he plays the episode.

,, You only watched few episodes of one murder documentary and you think you’re Mr. worldwide intellectual.’’ You laughed, as he tried to explain professionally.

,, The fuck you talking about ? The only documentary you watch is Keeping up with the Kardashians, so shut the fuck up’’ he spat, rolling his eyes playfully as he played the documentary.

The thing he played was about some murder, nothing you would watch on your own, but you didn’t mind. Seeing him talk about it so excitedly made your heart warm and in that moment you didn’t care if you won’t be able to sleep next few days.

You always loved spending your time with Touya, you simply loved how even when none of you had something to say, the silence was never uncomfortable. Even just sitting with him was making you feel safe.

,, You really choped your hair’’ he said, as he started to play with your hair. Being tired from all the crying and with his gentle movements, you were not capable of replying, simply nodding your head in response.

,, It looks good on you’’ Touya complimented you, placing a soft kiss on top of your head. He noticed that you were zooming out, so he just continued to caress your, helping you fall asleep.

All the horrible thoughts he had washed away, once he saw your sleeping face. He could only smile to himself as he noticed how puffy your face got from all the crying. Sure, it wasn’t that visible, but he simply noticed it and found it more then cute.

He tried to act calm and suppress his feelings, he tried to be there for you, but when you talked about what happened, all he wanted to do was find that piece of shit of your ex and simply kill him. He couldn’t understand how did you always manage to find some weird boyfriends that didn’t appreciate and treat you as you deserved.

If you only gave him a chance, he would always be there for you, he would simply give you anything you wished for. Touya never understood how could you be so blind, never once did you notice his feelings for you. Never once did you question his behavior.

Every time you called him over, he would ditch all his plans and run to you. Every time you needed something, you knew very well that only Touya will help you 100%.

You woke up in your bedroom, a little bit confused about what time it was and if your best friend was still there. Taking your phone to check what time it is, your eyes widened when you saw a Instagram notification from Kai. That piece of shit had balls to like your photo.

Throwing your phone away, you started crying again, wishing the day you met him never happened. You wished you listened to your best friend when he told you that Chisaki ain’t the one for you.

,, You ok?’’ you heard Touya’s voice under the loud TV noise. In just a second he was beside you, warming your body with his own and wrapping his arms around you, telling you how everything is ok and how he’s there for you.

,, Come on, stand up’’ Touya commanded suddenly, forcing your upper body up. ,, We are leaving’’ he added, forcing you out of the bed. You were too confused to even think at that very moment, but you found yourself following his lead. Wearing one of your very oversized shirt that covered more than enough, you hurried out of your bedroom to Toyua who was waiting for you already all ready.

You didn’t know what was happening, and the pack of eggs in his hand was confusing the shit out of you, yet you found yourself in the passenger seat, doing whatever Touya planned at that moment.

,, Where are we going ?’’ you asked, tears long gone.

,, We’re egging his car’’ he said, as your eyes widened in shock.

,, Is that even legal?’’ you asked again, already all excited about it.

,, Nope’’ Touya laughed out, focused on the road. You were sure that Kai would know it was you, definitely. But he also won’t have balls to call the police on you, since you knew about all his dirty deeds, you knew about all the drugs he’s taking and having hidden somewhere in his house.

Kai didn’t live far away from you, so in only few minutes of drive the two of you found yourself in front of his car. Lighting one cigarette, Dabi took the paper that was placed on the windshield.

,, Stop perking on my spot’’ Dabi read out loud, pointing out the word he wrote wrongly. You laughed loudly as you remembered about Kai telling you about some dude parking his Motorcycle in front of his car, making it hard to get out of the spot for him.

,, He can’t write, but he can do meth I guess’’ you laughed, as Touya puffed on his cigarette.

You stood there close to Kai’s car, as you waited for your best friend to finish his cigarette. It was a quiet night, with no people around at all. Maybe it was the adrenaline that was rushing in your blood, or the fact that you spent all day crying like a mad person, but in that very moment all you felt was anger as you thought about your ex.

,,Here’’ Touya gave you the package, still smoking that cigarette. You weren’t sure if he took his time with cigarette or if the time was simply passing so slow for you, since he was a pretty fast smoker.

To his surprise, you grabbed one egg and immediately threw it on his car, making him rise his eyebrows and laugh in shock. You never did something like that before, so you didn’t really understand why the alarm didn’t go on. Was your throw too weak?

A huge grin formed on your lips as you threw another egg, you couldn’t stop the evil laugh as you watched the egg yolk all over the window and in that moment you wished you had rotten eggs instead. Watching you happy like that, Touya couldn’t hide his smile. He was almost sure that everyone could read his emotions, he was sure that everyone could say how much in love he was with you.

You were on your fourth egg when Touya took one from the package and threw it. You weren’t sure if he threw it with much more force, or if he already did this before, but when the egg hit the car, loud alarm took over the peaceful night.

,, Shit, we have to hurry’’ Touya said under his breath as both of you threw one more egg. Sure, Kai won’t call the police, but if someone else saw you, they sure will.

You were laughing loudly, as you took your last egg, ready to throw it while Touya explained to you at what you should aim for.

,, HEY’’ you heard a familiar voice, coming from the building you used to spend so much time in. Not even turning around, you threw the egg and rushed to Toyua’s car, hopping fast into passenger seat. The moment Kai got out, everything happened too fast.

You wished you could take a photo of his upset face as he looked over your car. You were sure that you never saw him mad like that.

,, YOU FUCKING SUCK’’ he yelled once he turned the alarm off, while Dabi was ready to drive off, laughing loudly with you.

,, AND YOU SWALLOW BITCH’’ you yelled, popping your head thru the window. Touya gave you a bit time to flip him a bird, before he drove fast off, leaving your ex boyfriend pissed on the road. Laughing loudly, you leaned back into the seat, satisfied with the little event your best friend thought of.

,, You are seriously the best’’ you said, still smiling widely. Touya nodded his head, focused on the road. Every time he took a look of you, his heart would skip a beat. He was so fucking glad that you weren’t sad anymore, at least not for now.

You weren’t sure what had he planned next, since he wasn’t driving back home, but you didn’t care. You enjoyed his company, and you enjoyed the fact that you felt nothing else beside happiness in the moment. It was weird how fast emotions were taking over you. Just one hour ago you were a crying mess, and all of sudden you found yourself enjoying the night with your best friend.

You didn’t even realize how hungry you were, until Touya stopped by McDonalds to buy some food. Once he came back, placing the milkshakes and paper bag into your lap, you almost started drooling from the delicious smell.

He parked on the spot beside lake, where the two of you usually come to chill a bit. The music played on the low as the two of you ate slowly and talked about casual stuff. The moment a song from the famous tiktoker started playing in the background, you wished your hands weren’t so oily from the food. You wanted to change the song, but you didn’t want to make your phone oily, you weren’t even sure why you had that song in your playlist after all.

,, Does this song bother you?’’ he asked, taking a sip from his milkshake.

,, Yeah there’s a word that’s pissing me off’’ you rolled your eyes in annoyance.

,,Which one?’’ he asked confused.

,,When she says This ain’t build a bitch, you don’t get to pick or choose, what she should have said is nothing and just never release that stupid song’’ you hissed, wiping your hands as you changed the song that was pissing you off so much.

,, You are so cute’’ he complimented you, as both of you placed the rest of the food in the paper bag. Everything you did was cute to him, the was you sneeze is cute to him, the way you rise your brows when you are surprised, the way you laugh at your own jokes sometimes. Everything.

,,Did you know that Yumi got pregnant ?’’He asked you suddenly. Your eyes widened in shock, as you heard him ask, not because it was weird or anything like that, the two of you always gossip, but because you knew Yumi so well. You weren’t best friends with her, but the two of you would casually meet up.

,, Wasn’t she on the pills?’’ you asked, covering your mouth with your left hand. ,, Oh fuck no, I don’t claim this negative energy’’ you gasped shaking your head as Dabi laughed at your sudden reaction.

Talking about pregnancy and sex, you found yourself thinking about the last time you slept with your ex. You didn’t feel any sadness, all you felt was disappointment and anger. Just the thought that he was the last one inside you was making you mad, and the fact that only god knows when will you sleep with someone again was making you mad even more.

It’s not that you were a prude, or that you had something against one night stands. Sure, you could install Tinder and just find a quick fuck, knowing very well that the thought will bother you until the problem in your head is solved. But you weren’t the one to jump under the covers with a complete stranger.

,, What’s up?’’ Dabi asked once he saw you confused and lost in your thoughts. Hearing his voice, a sudden idea popped up in your head. You shook your head, trying to not think about it. He is your best friend for fucks sake, you can’t use him for something like that.

,, Nothing’’ you shook your head once again, trying to avoid his eyes.

,, Oh come on, tell me’’ he said stubbornly, as he placed his cigarette between his lips.

,, You know, the fact that Kai was the last person I had sex with, and the fact that I don’t know how long it will stay that way is bothering me’’ you confessed, skipping the part with the rest of your thoughts.

,, and you thought I could help you with it’’ Touya joked, as he puffed on his cigarette.

,, How did you know?’’ You asked way too fast, regretting it almost immediately once he almost choked onto the air and the smoke of his cigarette.

,, You can’t be serious’’ Touya said under his breath, closing his eyes as he spoke those words out. You weren’t sure why, but your heart sank a bit once you heard him say that.

,, Ah come on, it can be a quick fuck, it won’t change anything between us’’ he whined, turning your body to his direction. Once you said that, Touya grabbed you and forced you into his lap. You were more then shocked by his action, but you still positioned yourself comfortably in his lap, not sure if you should say anything or just wait..

,, You think I’ll be able to go back after it ?’’ he asked, one hand holding your waist firmly, and other holding his cigarette. ,, Doll, you should know better than anyone that I don’t do quick fucks’’ he added, as his grip got stronger. You weren’t sure if you should be embarrassed or not, but you felt uneasy at that moment, not sure where this all is leading.

,, If we do it now, there’s no going back doll, you’ll belong to me’’ he added again, as you sat in his lap confused. It was weird to hear him talk like that.

,, Touya, that can fuck up our friendship’’ you whispered. You were way too confused, not sure if he was talking about a relationship with you or just about you not sleeping with anyone else beside him.

,, And a quick fuck won’t do it?’’ he hissed, throwing the finished cigarette out of his window. He was right, both of it could fuck it up, and your idea was probably the worse option. The problem you had just few minutes ago was long gone, as new thoughts took over your mind. The fact that he was slowly placing soft kisses all over your neck didn’t help the situation, and the fact that you tiled your head to the side to give him more access to it didn’t help either.

You weren’t sure if you were simply too horny in the moment and if emotions took over you, but one part of you wanted to give it a try, yet another part of you was simply too scared of losing him. You did think about it before, how lucky can a girl be to call herself his girlfriend!? He’s not like other guys, at least not to you. He was always so caring, so gentle and so loving with you. He was the one who was always there for you, and in fact, you were more than sure that if you two start something, you won’t end up being hurt. But the fact that your friendship was under a question because of it was making you scared. Touya is the only person you never want to lose, and he knew that very well.

,, What do you say doll? Wanna try?’’ he asked, as he kissed your jaw softly. You weren’t sure how were you even capable of thinking at all in that moment.

,, Yes’’ you breathed out, closing your eyes shut as you enjoyed his soft kisses. Could you really lose him? If you had to worry about it so much, you should worry about the very exact moment. Why wouldn’t the current event ruin your friendship, now that you know that he doesn’t really see you as a friend as much as you thought. If you start some kind of a relationship with him, and if it doesn’t work, the two of you could talk it out.

The moment you said yes, Touya grabbed your yaw with his right hand, brushing his nose with your own before he connected his lips with yours. Once you placed your hands on his cheeks, trying to get closer to him, he couldn’t help but smile into the kiss.

What really drove him crazy was you rolling your hips on him. The fact that you had nothing else under your oversized shirt than your favorite panties almost made him cum in that very moment. Breaking the kiss, he leaned back into the seat, as you tried to catch your breath. Touya pulled your shirt up, exposing your naked chest. Not wasting any time, he placed his left on your right boob, pinching and twisting your already hard nipple, while sucking the other one.

Just the feeling of his hot breath made you throw your head back, enjoying the sucking and squeezing he was giving you. You placed your hands on his shoulders, finding support in it. Every roll you did with your hips, was met with his own one, making you feel his hard erection under his sweatpants. A quiet moan escaped your lips when you felt him bite on your nipple few times before he got back onto sucking it again.

Touya pulled your hips up a bit, giving you a sign to stay in that position as he pulled his sweatpants and boxers down, just enough for his dick to spring up. You knew that he had a dick piercing, in fact, you were in the waiting room when he decided to get it, but you still were shocked. It looked so good, so attractive.

You wanted to get out of his lap, you wanted to taste him, but his hands stopped you. Pushing you back onto his lap once again.

,, You have no idea how much I love you’’ he said, brushing his lips on your own, as he pushed your panties to the side and rubbed the tip of his dick around your hole.

,, I love you too, so much’’ you confessed, kissing him softly, as the pink head of his dick slowly entered you, hands on your hips slowly leading you down onto his length, until he was all in.

,, I know’’ Touya smirked into the kiss, enjoying the warmth of your walls hugging his dick. The hands on your hips slowly started to lead your hips up and down. The pace was so slow you could feel every inch of his dick rubbing against your velvety walls. Touya wasn’t one to enjoy the slow pace that much, but with you it was something else. He wanted to feel you as much as possible, and pushing his dick so slow into you gave him that possibility.

Just thinking about how it finally happened almost made him cream inside you. Closing his eyes, he let you move up and down his dick on your own. When you nuzzled your head into his neck he almost lost it, holding your hips down for few seconds just to calm his dick down. The small I love you that you whispered into his neck all over again didn’t help either, making it hard for him to control himself.

His hand found its way under your shirt, while his lips were all over your neck now, leaving sloppy marks all over it. You weren’t sure what did you enjoy more, his lips and hot breath over your neck, sucking and biting it, his hand squeezing your left breast or his dick deep inside you rubbing against your cervix.

Even tho you were moving your hips so slow, every time you were pushing your hips down, his would move upward, snapping against you with a little force and hitting your cervix perfectly. The both of you were breathing heavily, enjoying every second of the slow sex you had.

Wrapping his arms around you, he pulled your body closer to his, as he started moving just a little bit faster. You squeezed your eyes shut, as you realized that your climax was getting closer and closer with every move. Touya noticed your breathing getting faster, and your walls hugging his dick tighter then before, as he pulled your body up a bit, pushing you against the steering wheel and giving himself more access to move and fuck you a bit faster and stronger then before.

Moaning loudly, you wrapped your arms around him as you came all over his dick, almost shocked that you came without any clit stimulation. Dabi didn’t stop fucking you, helping you ride off the hard orgasm that just hit you.

Once he was sure you were done, he sat down. He lowered his seat, as he changed the position, locking you under him. Without giving you a chance to understand anything, he pushed his dick inside you.

,, I’m not done with you’’ he groaned, as he started moving his hips at much faster pace then before. Instead of saying anything, you wrapped your legs around him, placing your hands around his neck and just kissing him again. You couldn’t get enough of him, and luckily he felt the same. Accepting everything you had to offer, gladly.

The slow and steady pace was long forgotten, as he fucked you into the seat of his car with much more force and at one ungodly speed. You were pretty sure that the car was moving with every move he did, and you were sure if someone happened to be near, they would know what’s going on, but that was the last thing you cared of.

You were a moaning mess under him, and he was no better than you. You were surprised when you felt his hand around your throat, holding you in one place and playing with your breath. Open your mouth for me was all he said, before you felt thick saliva in your mouth. When it started, you thought it would be only some vanilla sex, the last thing you thought was that he would end up choking you and spitting in your mouth.

If it was someone else, you would probably freak out, but since it was him, you only obeyed, mouth open and tongue out, giving him approval for more.

,,That’s my good girl’’ he said, as he spat into your mouth one more time, while his grip around your neck only grew stronger. He was moving at rapidly speed, his skin slapping against your own was louder than the music that was playing in the background.

You closed your eyes as you started catching your breath once his hand moved away from your neck. Touya couldn’t control himself anymore, grabbing the edges of the seat, as he fucked into you. The pain mixed with pleasure was too intense for you, but you are his good girl, and you are doing so great for him, he made sure you understood that, as he repeated it all over again, while fucking into you.

The moment you felt his fingers rubbing your clit in circles, all you could do was squeeze your eyes shut, moaning loudly, as he told you to cum all over his dick, so you did as you were told and that was enough for him to reach his own high. Few harsh moves and he found himself cuming deep inside you. Even Toyua doesn’t know how did he find the energy to tell you how good you are milking his dick, but he did.

Collapsing on top of you, he fucked his seed inside of you, making sure not a single drop will get outside of your tight little out, making sure none of it will go to waste.

,, You’re mine’’ he said, placing soft kisses all over your face, and you were his. You were always his and he was always yours.

You weren’t sure how long would it take you to get over your stupid ex, but you were sure that Touya will be there for you and help you out in every way he can. Starting from the moment the two of you left your apartment, to the very moment the two of you cuddled inside of his car, after one steamy sex. All you could think of was your best friend and what would future bring you.

[hashtaghuskyy]

need a custom made skin!

hey there! so this request is for a au percy jacksony on jcnik I plan to create within the next few months. i'll send the link to the site to the person I decide to create the skin. IF YOU ARE WANTING A FUN CHALLENGE THIS SKIN IS FOR YOU!!

i have come into some money, and i am ready to pay top dollar for this skin!! this rp is dear to my heart because it's based off a series i want to write and it's all original.

some specifics/vibes/colors/themes i'm looking for in this skin:

sliding header! i love these and I would like staff pics, updates, and plot overview/season/plot event, forum links, and OTMs to be listed all in separate portions of that banner. also would like it if the forum name is hung in there along the entire banner, with different images in each section (if you are good at graphics too I will pay you to do those as well! :3)

COLLAPSIBLE SIDE-BAR. this is not as popular I know now a days, but I would like a collapsible side bar on the left of the skin to be available as well to show things like want ad requests, quote OTM, current events, and other things I will decide later. this will also show the ratios for each godly parent on site.

custom profile. my profile on this site will be headcanons/bullet point based, and i would like a section of the profile in the app to have a main section where it lists the headcanons (up to 12 I think would suffice!) the custom profile will also have ONE large banner image up top, and a pinterest 4 separate square gif/image section toward the mid-section of the app where the headcanons would be. also would have places for the age, sexuality, relationship status, nickname/alias, and things like that (i will give you more info later on this)

custom shipper! pretty standard here. nothing too fancy.

custom forum/catagories/online list. BASICLALY THIS WHOLE SKIN WILL BE CUSTOM.

custom face claim, member directory, etc. I WOULD REALLY LIKE THIS ALL IN ONE PAGE. my thing is is that it will be a directory that includes the faces, occupations, and things of that nature. maybe it could be shown in the members list? idk how that works but i have some places i coudl show you i've seen something of the sort. also, i would like them to be able to be filtered by member name and member group, and maybe other options.

custom thread codes/dev/comms/etc. *I WILL PAY EXTRA FOR EACH ONE OF THESE!

custom usergruops/colors. we'll see about these colors later when we decide on the main site skin colors! (see below)

the blue on the skin is the blue i'd like for the skin. mainly whites with bits of black in it.

the vibes i see this skin as are highly sleek and modern. light and easy on the eyes, elegant but appealing to the eyes that draw you seamlessly throughout the skin.

IF YOU ARE TRULY INTERESTED in doing this skin for me, PLEASE LIKE BELOW OR COMMENT. i will reach out to you via messenger on here and give you my DM, or if you have a DM i will reach out to you with my own. look out for a husky in your DMs ;)

I WANT TO COLLABORATE WITH YOU ON THIS SKIN, but let your creativity and style shine through in this skin. I want this skin to be completely unique to my site. the time frame on this skin will be 2-3 months. because it won't take me overnight to do all the plot details for the site, as it will be lore heavy. but hopefully simple for people to breeze thru!

thanks for reading this long wall of text! have a good day!

[kristalpepsi]

Temptation Stairway Thoughts™ + Theory Discussion

TW: blood + Death mentions, Implied (forced/pushed) integration (systems), racism (against asians), unreality stuff bc the show is Like That, Trauma causd by therapy

TL;DR = I mainly talk about implied integration, n as some1 in a system tht! mkes me uncomfy! I mainly will talk abt wht I’m calling the multi-ena theory (n anothr theory ill call the Multiple/Multi-Enaverse Theory) thts been popping up n disccng how thts kind of the bggst thng keepng me on board! I won’t LIE I might b a little biased bc I rlly do like thise show b I am NOT blind so I will try 2 address som things. I also talk alot abt the Shepard n Phindol bc I love themb so much they make me very heart Big.

DISCLAIMERS:

Obviously Joel G Highkey/definitely/most probbly did not intend 4 any of thise, but media is very complic8d so u cn end up accidntlly making problmtc things or implyng not great things

I hav a typing quirkkkk so if u cant understand my post I rlly dont blame u! I’m sorry how I type is Incomprehensible™

Not an angry post, more like my brain is holding me host-ge until i talk abt everyth dskfjhd!!

DO NOT Send anyone in thise post hate or angry asks/messages or perish by my sword

OK so this recnt episde has me w vry vry mixd feelngs!!! I’m both happy n exctd! b litrlly 2 things is whts bothrng me. While I CLD jst say :I Am Lookng Away: i rlly do need 2 write it down. Under a Read-more bc im secure SKSJ

Part 0: I’m uncomfortable help

The Section wher i tlk abt n bring up othr ppl’s concerns

So fr most if nt all the frnds I hav who also wtch Ena ALSO has a vry “vr vry mixd feelngs now tht I’ve seen the episde!!” mood twrds Temptation Stairway! It’s 4 a bunch of rsns, like thise post (tw racism) mde by a frnd whch brings up a good point

Part 1: The Actual Intro

Episode 1 = Auction day (AD) Episode 2 = Extinction Party (EP) Episode 3 = Tempation Stairway (TS)

Who is Ena

Ena can b describd as an "abstract girl split in half, w 1 blue side n the other is her yellow side!" Each side (emotion/mood, 2 b specific) seems 2 hav their own voic actor credited along with seper8 credits 4 each mood! So far the canon sides r Ena (happy), Ena (sad), n Ena (drunk)! They seem 2 act accordingly: Happy acts happy n optimistc, Sad acts sad n especlly depressd, n Drunk acts confused n dizzy [In the Credits, it would look like thise: Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman, (drunk) Ena by Sam Meza

4 Episodes 1-2, thy follow thise pattern exctly! So we cn expect wht 2 see from them, n each voice actor is creditd accordngly as seper8 b all a part of Ena

On epside 3, Ena is seen as actng diffrnt!! She's suddnly less predictabl! I say thise bc Suddenly, her voic Actors r not stuck 2 Only their sides. Thise is also emphasized when looking at the credit list! No longer is it "Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman" it's now jst "ENA by Gabe V. and Lizzie Freeman"

Happy's voic can sound STRESSED n sad, Happy can tlk w Blue's side in mor control n Sad's voic can sound Really happy n optimistic. Somth's Diffrnt n Not The Same

Temptation Stairway Summary

Skipping 2 my point, The summary of the episode Temptation stairway is tht Moony and Ena have a bet 2 race 2 the Great Runas! The Great Runas, can grnt u any wish accordng 2 Moony n som of those Ena passes by on the wy. The wager, is tht "whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser" (yes it’s phrased like that) As Ena journeys thru, The DIFFERENCES between Ena Temptation Stairway and Ena Extinction Party n Below, is mor obvious as the epsde progrsses, even 2 wher Happy's voic actor is the 1 screamng in agony 2 jst get murdered already. The Episode ends w Moony beatng Ena (but it's 100% possibl it can be the other way arnd, that ENA Beat Moony, b thats somth I'll discuss in a bit L8r). Moony splits in half, revealing that according 2 her, "she wished 2 be skinny" n a humanoid coms out of her previous form. As 4 Ena, Her blue side slowly dispprs n its not answrd why.

Theories so far, are:

Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy (or 4 her sad/blu side 2 go awy. 4 wht reason can b eithr wholsom or 2 Moony's advntge [like so she "doesnt have 2 deal w Sad Ena"]) - b if Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy/b rid of her sad side, tht wld mean perhaps she lied about wishing 2 be skinny (her new humanoid form may be how she is "paying her debt 2 the loser"). Unless the Runas can grant u more than 1 wish.

Ena ws the 1 who wished her blu side awy, whch is a little depressng tbh

If both the above r tru, it may b possibl bc it wsnt clarified (afaik) tht the great runas can only grant ONE person a wish (or more). I think we only get tht implica8ion bc we see 1 (open) door while in the distance, ther r more doors tht look like their eyes r closed. We hav 2 remembr Moony said "whoever makes their wish 1st whch means Ena n Moony can totlly mke wishes @ the sme time

Somhow, turning pure yellow/only happy is how Moony is payng her debt 2 Ena(??) (opposite 2 the 1st theory)

OR If Ena won the race, it can even b possibl 2 consider tht Ena did not make ANY wish, n her debt 2 pay 2 Moony is her sad/blue side removed (I do not subscribe 2 thise) 

This info that was brought up 2 me is high evidenc that Moony won the race, n it explains how Moony surprises Ena whn Ena arrives. “I’m The Best and you’re the worst! I wonder who got the hair chest?” said by Ena, is a direct reference 2 a phrase usd by kids when they lose that goes “First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest.”

“Whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser.“ Might be phrased tht way as a weird way 2 pay 4 ur greed? (Last minute addition from me since some people wld think this is quoted wrong in and outside of the youtube comments)

i'm p sure ther may even b mor theories b i dont rmmbr them OOPS

Part 2: The Implied Integration Part AKA: How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode

TW: Final fusion discussion, medical trauma (Is that the right word)

Disclaimer: This is 100% unintended by Joel G. That’s y the Alternative title 2 thise part is “How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode”

2 GET IN2 the whole Implied Integr8ion part of my Essay™ I hav a theory calld system ena or sys!ena! (Check out my #system ena tag. This is in chronologicl order!) While thers no canon explan8ion 4 how Ena herslf is how she is, she mkes very intrstng n almst good accdntl Sys Represent8ion 2 me! They even show cofronting rlly well! I headcanon Ena as a system bc of the accidentl system!rep, but it explains 2 me y n how she switches! she has triggers 4 when she switchs 2 a diffrnt side, etc!

Ther hav been theories about Temptation Stairway in the past (before the episode cme out) wher ppl try 2 explain y the trailer Looks Like Tht. Besides theorizing abt the introduction of a new forme (I'm ok w just calling it Scared/Anxiety 4 now until 4rthr notic), 1 of the theories ive seen is tht Temptation Stairway's new introduced forme is due 2 being something akin 2 being "integr8d" (probably by force, accordin 2 the OP) (in other words, all her sides merge in2 one) n Ena being devast8td abt it

While tht theory is now DEBUNKED, bc the new forme clearly did not come out bc of being One Single Mind now, the "integr8ion" part of tht theory is unfortun8ly a littl tru

What is Integr8ion?

Integr8ion is not inherently a bad thing. In systems, ther are 2 definitions: "the breaking down of barriers 2 form healthy multiplicity, n then healthy communic8ion n less amnesiac barriers" and the othr, n mor FAMOUS definition bc its the oldest 1, is "final fusion"

Fnal Fusion is when all the members "fuse/merge" 2gether until ther is 1 single mind left. While not necssrlly a bad thng, final fusion n ther4 "integr8ion" is a scry thing 4 a lot of systems 2 talk abt, because in the history of Treatment, Final fusion is uslly somthng forcd on2 systems 4 the longest time :^(

Very valid 2 hav final fusion as a goal, b showng it as a desire n end goal is uslly seen as a sad n even scry thing 2 promote accdntly or not in media, bc of the previous traumas in the medicl/therapy world of system treatment etc

What's Worse. is tht if we apply the Ending 2 Temptation Stairway to the System!Ena Theory, thts wht hurts!!!

Scrolling back up 2 the possibl theories of who won the race and wht happened aftr, Either Moony or Ena wishing 4 the blue side/Sad Ena 2 go awy is rlly painful!

B I'll be honest, thts a RLLY biased n personal opinion i hav!! I've seen ppl think its rlly wholsom altho a bit Sad, tht the blue side disappears. I've seen ppl think its rlly sweet esp if it was Moony who mde tht wish

BSCLLY If I were to hold on2 the System!Ena headcanon while watchng the Temptation Stairway episode, its Hurtful, not rlly bc of the implied Integr8ion of Sides, but bc most top theories r that the blue side disappeard on Purpose either from Moony or Ena wishing her away or involvng the debt! It's like asking 4 ur sibling irl 2 Disappear and cease 2 exist. it's scary n rlly sad esp whn the audienc can c tht Sad, Happy, n Drunk cn almst b seen as their own persons n mite even b abl 2 interact w each othr (as seen by the many fanart of Happy n Sad having their own seper8 forms)

  Ok so Now tht ive described my intro n Main Beef w the Episode, here's a theory I cn rlly get behind tht dsnt mke me wnna cry behind a Denny's. Prsnlly it's a rlly relievng theory even if it mite b hard 2 take in

Ther's no name 4 it, som call it the Enaverse, b just so it dsnt get confusd w other definitions (like, u wldnt call it the Marvel Cinematic Universe theory, the MCU is jst wht it is) I'm gnna call it the Multi-Ena theory! Bsclly, there's mor than 1 Ena in thise universe. But I'll get in2 a sub/partner theory tht is also possibl: ther is mor than 1 enaverse n somhow u may or may not b abl 2 travel between them

Part 3: The Multi-Ena theory

Something interesting I noticed was that the shepherds says “another ENA troublemaker?” Which definitely means more than one ENA/person has been there before.

(I blockd out the rest of the commnt not bc it ws bad, b i wantd 2 focus on this part of the commnt, but thise commnt will come up again L8r)

Not connected 2 System!Ena or the integr8ion issue I mentioned earlier, the multi-ena theory seems 2 b 1 of the top suggstd theories bc of many thngs! Bsclly n in short, thise theory believs tht in the series (or Enaverse), ther is multipl ena's! So fr i havent seen a post tht RLLY went in2 depth on thise so here is my attempt!

Evidence:

(See: above explanation on how the voic actors r credited 4 their roles individlly 2 explain my system!ena theory/intro) In episodes 1-2, Ena's diffrnt emotions/sides r creditd individually! In Temptation Stairway, Gabe n Lizzie Freeman r all creditd undr the sme nme, just as "Ena" (mening thise is a completely different Ena from the past)

Again, as said in my summry 4 Tempt8ion Stairway, thise Ena acts compltly diffrnt n is not follwng the sme "pattern" or rules as Ena did in Episodes 1-2! (Read above in my summary section) Either ther r stuff we've missd between Extinction Party n Temptation Stairway, or thise is a diffrnt Ena entirely.  I'd hav 2 sy prsnlly tht I'm leanng 2wrds the latter bc of how the VA's are crdtd. but if ur not convinced, let me continu:

When we meet the Shepard in 7:52 of the episode, they say (verbatim) "Arghh... Another ENA trouble maker." which implies there r more than 1 Ena's

9:08 - 9:19 when Ena jumps in2 the "Holy Code" where we head undrwtr in2 a sea of diffrnt doors, we see floating Ena models (n the comment section seems 2 gravit8 2 callng them "dead bodies") (Honorary mention: You'll notic they glitch in2 Mannequins if u pay attention 2 them). This piec of info is Direct Evidence 2 the multi-ena theory, bc ther r Explicitly mor thn 1 ena's on screen! wht's concernng n unanswrd tho, is y do they glitch in2 mannequins? Does tht mean all the mannequins we sw on screen in the begnng of the video (n onwards) were all previously an Ena? Is it only an Ena tht can transform in2 a mannequin or cn othr chrctrs also become mannequins?

Not the strongst evidenc b i'll input it anywy: Ena's Action boxes (Like when she receivs or gives items) spell her nme her as ƎNA (with a backwrds E). The thing abt thise 1 is tht we can't compare it with Auction Day n Extinction Part bc they don't have any action boxes. BUT What we CAN compare is how she is spelled in the dialogue boxes of those speakng in diffrnt languages AND in the Credits! In Episodes 1-2, She's Spelled as Ena with this captialis8ion. In Temptation Stairway the dialogue and credits consitntly spell her as ENA in all caps. May or may not allude 2 her being diffrnt, b i will admit this is the most Strechiest piec of evidnc. Tru or not, I'd like 2 refer 2 Tempt8ion Stairway ena as TS!Ena or ƎNA, prsnlly 2 differenti8 her frm the othr episodes

Pronounci8ion: BUT 2 build on the above evidence, In the beginning of the episode, Moony DOES pronounc Ena's name in different wys a lot, startng w I-NA (ai-na), ENA (ehna), n finally JENA. And this isnt new! She’s been doing it sinc Auction Day (ee-nah/ii-na) n Extinction Party (ay-nah). Thise may or my not sggst that perhaps Moony's inconsistancy is bc these othr pronunci8ions or names cld b of other ena's she's met in the past w similr or diffrnt preferences! I’d say because of her constant switchng in the beginning of Temptation Stairway, it would lean 2wards that she may know different Ena’s @ once. Otherwise, c the Multi-Enaverse theory below

Note: Every othr charctr besides Moony (So far; Merci and the Shepard) Pronounces Ena as ehna (or ehna) so it might be that perhaps Eh-na is the universal way of pronouncng Ena?

Conlusions/thghts on this theory: I prsnlly like thise a lot!! It makes Enasonas Very Possible, b also tht any interpret8ion of Ena cn b corrct or possibl! It knda saddens me tho bc im not rlly sure if we'll ever return 2 the Ena we're used 2, I wldnt rlly want 2 b stuck w/o Sad bc I thnk her role is rlly neat n can b importnt, b im biasd. I also rlly subscribe 2 thise theory bc it means whtvr happend 2 TS!Ena ds not hav 2 be permanent in the long run; Again litrlly the only thng keepng me from gettng supr upset abt the ending of Temptation Stairway, is tht the prev ena’s r not the sme n wld possibly not do thise, or tht ther r othr ena’s out ther besides THISE episod 1, who wld nvr do tht, etc

Part 4: The Multiple Enaverses/Multi-Enaverse Theory AKA The Alternative In Defense of Moony Mispronouncing Ena’s name over and over

An alterntve 2 the Multi-Ena theory, is tht there is MORE thn 1 Enaverse! So bsclly, a multiverse theory. Primarily thise my explain Not jst Ena's sudden Shift in how diffrnt she is in thise episode b may also explain how Diffrnt Moony is actng in thise episode 2. While thise isnt the top theory i prsnlly subscribe 2 (sinc ther isnt explicit evidence besides it bein an explan8ion 4 Moony n Ena's weird/diffrnt behavior), it DOES open a lot of doors 2 intrstng things 2 thnk abt!

Bsclly Moony keeps mispronouncing Ena’s name a lot (in Tempation Stairway) n its Really Rude, esp consdrng she’s always said it properly (As in @ least 1nce in an episode n not switchng multiple times) b4! so 2 Explain her Sudden change in behavior, this is actlly a Different Moony, besides a different Ena. this is a whole different universe/timeline!

LIKE If not multiple Ena's, The different Loca8ions in Ena cn probbly b traversible across dimensions! The Holy Code may b the door 2 diffrnt enaverses. The Shepard's garden cld b an interdimensionl place tht is singular n deals w diffrnt beings passing thru! While i dnt hav mch 2 sy on thise, its RLLY Interestng 2 thnk abt

Like the Multi-Ena theory, thise also opens the doors 2 enasonas being vry possibl :^) Som ppl's evidences r all involvng Moony besides how Ena's rlly diffrnt

Moony can skateboard??

Moony's square shape hole can shrink 2 hold an item

while not strong ATM or frm wht i cn see, its still very inch restng!!! Tho I would sy it is VERY on par w the Multi-Ena theory anyway

Part 5: Honorary Mentions: Mini Theories

The Great Runas is actlly a play on the "Run As" Command! I'm not very Smart engh 2 break thise down vry well, b bsclly w all the allusion 2 "codes" n the Blood ID looking like a Chip, The Great Runas being abl 2 grant u wishes makes a lot of sense! This ws brought up 2 me from a friend (@ambercard​)!

like its a command line. so then the great runas being able to grant wishes makes sense if its digital world like all the code stuff says Allows a user to run specific tools and programs with different permissions than the user's current logon provides.

Runas is a command-line tool that is built into Windows Vista. To use runas at the command line, open a command prompt, type runas with the appropriate parameters, and then press ENTER.

In the user interface for Windows Vista, the Run as… command has been changed to Run as administrator. However, you should rarely have to use the Run as administrator command because Windows Vista will automatically prompt you for an administrator password when it is needed.

and my friend who i was talking to said that probably explains what the password was for and the blood id being a login or something?

its possible using the blood id akin to using the run as administrator command since idk their name but one of the people ena met said the blood id didnt seem like her which is like. if she isnt administrator then it would make sense that using that command wouldnt match who she is

My response:

man do u realiz Ena uslly does not hav the corrct passwrd/admin privileges all the tme? Bc the guardian entity in extinction party askd her 4 1 b i guess it ws so Low Game tht it wsnt supr necsrry in the end

The Enaverse is all a computer code of some sort- most probbaly a game! AKA: This is a digital world

... If we were too treat this world as a video game this would make more sense since different play through bus and all that. Oh god this feels like a fnaf situation, taking a video that just wants to be a video and turning it into a big serious thing

Going with the whole ‘there are multiple enas representing the player’ theory, perhaps this ENA realized that she’s in a video game and isn’t taking it too well? But the game is kind of glitching out because of it.

Honorable Mentions: Random Info + Unanswered Questions

Ena seems self-aware of smth! (10:24 Ena screams "YOU'RE ALL LIVING A LIE!") May help the Run as command idea n the video game/digital reality idea! If not a video gme, they sure r Somewhere

What does the Great Runas look like?? is it the door? is ther mor thn 1 Runas?

What is Mariya n Gabo's Job? R they just like the Guardian Entity in Extinction Party but are assignd 2 this part/location of where they are?

In 6:30, wht does Ulysses mean by "Desires r never fulfilled nor quenched"? "You Will fail like the rest of them" Is he referring 2 the other Ena's that's passed by? who else have come n failed?

This Post Also brings up som good points I hvnt noticd yet!

Thise comment pretty much says everythng:

Standout things from this animation:

-This Ena switches between a male & female voice at seemingly random instead Happy speaking with a male voice and Sad speaking with a Sad voice. The text boxes noticeably refer to this Ena with a reversed E, and The Shepard says "Another Ena troublemaker", implying that there are multiple Enas. We also see some Ena corpses flickering into the mannequin bodies at one point. Third, at the end we see Ena's sad half turn from blue to yellow over the course of Ena & Moony's conversation. My personal theory is that this Ena is possibly 'broken' in some manner. -Moony either doesn't care or dosen't realize that Ena's voices aren't matching the personalities anymore. -The grey personality appears to come out when Ena gets too stressed out. Notably the transformation involves the happy half turning into static and exploding out, erasing Ena's face in the process. It also appears that some physical trauma (in this case, Brick Frog kicking Ena) is necessary to exit the grey personality, unlike the previously seen 'blackout' personalities which can possibly be switched by the other personality exerting themselves (in the auction episode, Ena enters her sad blackout/depressed personality, then switches to Happy!Ena, who apologizes to Moony about her depressed outburst). -Moony's hole is capable of closing to hold things, and she also knows how to skateboard. -Judging by Ena's reaction, Moony's transformation at the end is weird even by this universe's standards.

aaaand thats all 4 now! I really hope thats all my brain can think of skjsdhfsdfkh

Feel free 2 send me asks abt Ena theories n stuff! While this is a Comprehensiv post, it’s definitely mor focused on the Multi-Ena theory n my thghts on the episode whn it comes 2 how it affects the System Ena theory. I’m open 2 questions!!

Last Edit: Feb 19 2021 (GMT +8)

[doomednarrative]

Devilman Lady Review:

Alright. I suffered through all 17 volumes of Devilman Lady and I intend to give it a proper review the same way I did the original manga. I can’t tell if the fact that I actually went and read the entire thing is a cry for help or if I’m just this insane, but either way, I certainly have Things To Say about it. I’m going to put this review under a read more however because of how much triggering content comes up in this manga that I intend to discuss as part of my review.

(Trigger warnings ahead for: talk about sexual assault/violence, incest and homophobia.)

With that out of the way, let’s get into my thoughts:

Right off the bat, I can say 100% without a shadow of a doubt that I will never read this manga again. Whereas I will absolutely read the original Devilman many times in the future no doubt, this is a manga I do not ever want to touch again, and for very good reason.

Now for the record, folks warned me going in that DML was bad right off the bat, and I did believe them on that. But I severely underestimated just How bad it really was. In all, I was met with:

The first seven volumes, and parts of the other volumes, being filled back to back to fucking back with rape scenes and sexual assault writing that's very clearly poorly hidden fetish stuff from Nagai’s en. (It gets worse because of how often this happens to underage characters as well.)

Jun having her agency and choice in the matter of being Devilman Lady completely taken from her, instead being forced upon her in the worst and most traumatic way possible

Lesbians, but portrayed in one of the most offensive ways I’ve ever seen. I’m not even a lesbian and I felt massively uncomfortable about it

SURPRISE INCEST THAT TURNS INTO SELFCEST 16 VOLUMES IN, AND THIS IS NOT SEEN AS A BAD THING. THE INCEST IS JUST FINE IN THE NARRITIVE AND BOTH JUN AND RAN ARE FINE WITH IT

This stuff isn't even the half of what’s wrong with the story, but it’s the biggest offenders by far. Devilman Lady reads the whole way thru, save for most of Akira’s time in the spotlight, as an excuse to draw some of the worst fetish material poorly disguised as a monster of the week turned into long con demon war story. It hits a lot of very similar plot beats to the original manga but in much worse ways, adding in unnecessarily shitty details or just downright triggering content of the worst degree. The parts of the story that aren’t gross are just fucking boring most of the time, and I think that makes it even worse because you feel like youre suffering through this story for absolutely no reason for like half of it until Akira shows back up.

I think, besides all the obviously offensive factors I’ve listed already, what makes me frusterated about the manga is that there are actual moments in it where I thought “Gee, there is actual potential here that I could see being made into a well thought out and engaging story, if only the fucking author actually cared about those things at all instead of just writing gross shock horror and rape scenes for fun.” Like there’s a comment at one point in the very beginning of the story talking about how the devil beast phenomenon disproportionately affects the lower class and poor/homeless folks, and in a better timeline, I could absolutely see the narrative of DML playing out to be a social commentary on why something like that is the case, and giving an actual sensitive look at the topic. Jun would still work great as the protaganist in that kind of story too, if the good traits about her writing were put into full focus, she would be perfect for that kind of story while still keeping some of the same parameters that DML already sets for her.

DML is also so fucking frusterating because besides the bits where Akira takes front stage and talks about his own story with Ryo/Satan, it just falls fucking flat. Whenever it brings up similar issues that Nagai wrote about in the original manga, they leave absolutely no deeper impact on the reader. Whereas the original is such a poignant story about the horrors of war and human evil and things like that, DML holds absolutely no water and has no hard hitting emotional impact. They discuss some similar things like political strife and biological warfare and nuclear weaponry and social disruption, but in the end it amounts to nothing. The end of the story isnt even about those things. It ends with Akira and Ryo making up and deciding to fight this new demon war on the same side against God, and while I do love that don’t get me wrong, it means the rest of the story just gets lost in the end. There’s nothing truly memorable about it like there is with the original. (At least in a good way, that is.)

AND SPEAKING OF RYO AND AKIRA...

We got canon Ryokira but AT WHAT FUCKING COST-

I could have handled it if it was just the selfcest. Selfcest is still weird, but I could have handled it if Ran and Jun were Just like some cosmic soulmate kinda thing where they’re two halves of a whole. That would have been acceptable on my weirdness scale. But MAKING THEM BIOLOGICAL SISTERS AND THEN TURNING IT INTO SELFCEST WAS. CERTAINLY A FUCKING CHOICE, AND NOT ONE I ENJOYED.

Just...god there were so many hours spent reading this manga I will never get back, and the only parts of it that I genuinely enjoyed were when Akira was in the main focus with his emotional musings and internal conflicts. And that’s not even Jun or Ran’s fault, because I went into this wanting to like them more than I ended up doing. They do have potential, but Nagai refuses to let them live up to it, and in the end well. We see where that went. As parts of Ryo/Satan they have some potential and there are things I could discuss there, but as their own characters? They don’t live up to what they could be, and neither does the rest of the story, and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth in the end.

All in all, Devilman Lady was both horribly gross and weird at its worst, and just plain disappointing at it’s best, and I do not ever plan to read it again.

[tinyshinysylveon]

i suddenly got this idea where izuku is an anonymous famous editor for youtubers who hire him to edit their videos because he’s a professional at doing it, and katsuki is an upcoming youtube vlogger who travels around the world and yet doesn’t know how to edit his own videos to save his life, so no matter what he does, he always seem to mess up even the basics of editing (part 1/??)

“i think you need professional help” kirishima says as he watches katsuki trying to drag an edited cut on to his video for the umpteenth time that day “shut up, shitty hair just give me a minute-” an error popup. “did you just.. deleted the video?” “....”

katsuki keeps trying, he even watched tutorials on youtube (while skipping important segments ofc because he can totally do that all on his own!) but his patience is wearing thin until kirishima recommended him to someone who’s known in the youtube community for their famous editing skills 

“..deku?” katsuki stares at his screen showing a youtube profile with the name deku as their username and an icon of all might with edited-in sunglasses “okay look, he may seem suspicious to you, but i gotta tell you bakugou, he’s legit, i’ve seen his videos and they look awesome!” well katsuki will be the judge of that despite this deku having 5 mil+ subscribers than him!

the blonde spent the whole day watching deku’s videos which mostly consists of amvs (anime music videos) and games, especially the ones that required a lot of effort to make, plus he even made tutorials! so he gotta give him credit for that, but alas, katsuki is still somehow having trouble following directions and gave up on the latest tutorial video on how to add an easy transition 

when kirishima came to check in with katsuki, all he heard were multiple clicks and grumbled noises, he let out an exasperated sigh “i can’t believe you’re still trying..” “what the fuck do you want me to do kirishima?” katsuki was trying not to flip his table at this point. “hire him obviously!” the red head yells out as if that’s the answer to their problems “..and how do you suppose i do that?” 

it actually took a lot of convincing in kirishima’s part, but katsuki finally threw away his pride and decided to send a message to deku’s business email that was left under his about page on youtube 

“..i want you to become my editor and help me in becoming the #1 youtube travel vlogger in the community” kirishima reads the message out loud that’s displayed on the screen, “you sure you want to send it like this?” “i don’t see anything wrong with it?” “but don’t you think it’s too.. blunt? no formalities or anything like, hello i’ve seen your videos and i would be honored to have you as my editor, you know?” katsuki just shrugged, “it’s too late, i already sent it to him”

about half a day later, deku replied back, “Good afternoon Mr.Explosionmurder, I appreciate that you requested me to become your editor and would like to discuss further details about our agreement via discord. You can contact me by adding my username, deku#2463. I look forward to hearing from you.” to this day, kirishima still can’t believe his eyes when he read the message

“oi shitty hair, what’s a discord?” 

it wasn’t katsuki’s fault that the majority of time he spent in high school was doing his best to stay on top of assignments and projects, plus being in the A honor roll, he didn’t really get to decide on his career until after he graduated, thanks to the courtesy of his parents owning their own modeling industry, he put the money he saved up to good use in traveling around the world and vlogging it for people to see with kirishima as his traveling partner

he explained all of this and his reasonings to deku on discord once he reached out to him and figured out how to use the platform, but katsuki was still suspicious regarding his video editing skills and wanted to see it firsthand on how his videos would look like as a finished product

deku: fair enough, send me your videos and i’ll see what i can do, until then, if you deem it satisfactory, which i’m confident that you will, i request a 50/50 payment on your revenue. take it or leave it. 

for some reason, katsuki agreed to it without a second thought due to the challenging tone from the message; “i can’t believe you! i told you to trust him! why do you have to doubt him?! haven’t you already seen his videos?!” kirishima was full on panicking at this point, how were they going to make money?! “shut up, i know what i’m doing! i know what’s best for my videos!” it was a good chance too since they’re currently in hong kong and planning to shoot the top 10 tourist spots to visit as claimed by an article he found online

a few days later, katsuki finally got all the videos piled up in one folder and sent them all in a google drive to share with deku just as he requested, he even mentioned to him thru discord message to follow the cues he was giving him on his videos such as when he and kirishima took a stroll and tried foods in the temple street night market; “hey deku, i want you to do a close up of kirishima eating the curry fish ball with erotic music playing in the background” he smirks while focusing the camera on the red head eating without a care in the world and not noticing katsuki making the comment, “mmm dude, mmm you gotta try this, it’s so freakin’ good- wait bro, how long have you been pointing the camera at me?” 

in less than a week, deku sent a reply back with the link to the fully edited video; deku: hmm, not gonna lie, but your cues were actually helpful and dare I say, creative? katsuki took it as a compliment and opened the link to the video file, it was about a few GB so it shouldn’t take a long time to upload on youtube, but.. was it ready? he called in kirishima to watch it with him and was actually prepared for it to look horrible despite deku’s obvious talent except.. it was actually pretty good?? better even?! “what did i tell ya katsuki? i told you he was legit,” his partner boasted, just earlier he was embarrassed when the part about him eating the curry fish ball with the “let’s get it on” music in the background showed up while the blonde just rolled his eyes. 

explosionmurder: thanks, and i just saw it, consider yourself hired deku: happy to be of service! i’m looking forward to working with you, mr.explosionmurder! it would be helpful again if you provided the cues during your journey! :)  explosionmurder: don’t mention it and also don’t call me that, call me katsuki  deku: okay, mr.katsuki! [all might emoji]

kastuki found it odd that he became really eager during the exchange but thought nothing of it

a couple of months flew by and katsuki with kirishima in tow have already travelled in 4 other different countries, he even received about 500k+ subscribers, he’s almost to 1 million! as per agreement, he gives half of his revenue to deku which was okay with him since he still has a lot of saved up money in the bank including kirishima’s since they’re sharing it anyway, most of the time, his communication with deku have been entirely professional with a few emojis in between (usually deku’s part), until today that is 

deku: it must be nice to travel 0:  explosionmurder: pfft, what are you talking about? you now have over 7 mil+ subscribers in your channel since i met you, you can go traveling whenever or wherever you want  deku: i can’t  explosionmurder: what do you mean you can’t?

no reply

since then, katsuki didn’t want to think too much on what deku said and focused mostly on traveling, those videos won’t work themselves! after he finished, he sent over the videos of his recent trip from india over to deku and as usual, deku delivered it back beautifully edited along with a message 

deku: that’s so cool! you guys went to india? *o* [link to video edit] explosionmurder: yeah, you should’ve seen shitty hair when he tried that really spicy curry, which reminds me, you did what i asked right? deku: of course mr. katsuki! as always, i’ve paid attention to every cue you asked for! [saluting pepe emoji] explosionmurder: good good, i didn’t just hire you to sit on your ass all day  deku: haha you’re not my only contractor you know ^^”  explosionmurder: is that what you meant when you said you couldn’t travel because you’ve been busy? way to be blunt katsuki, he mentally berated himself, but at least deku answered this time, although reluctantly deku: ...let’s just say im stuck at home  in that very moment, is when everything changed between them explosionmurder: alright nerd, you sound depressed as hell so i’m going to give you the decision to decide on where we’re going to travel to next, think of it as a reward for all you’ve done for us  deku: asdkjflas that’s too much! T_T are you sure mr. katsuki??? explosionmurder: i’m waiting, you got 3 seconds starting now, 3  deku: america! i’ve been wanting to go to america...

katsuki told kirishima his plans, then the spiky red head gave him a pat on the back and a thumbs up, “so you do have a sentimental bone in your body!” kirishima was almost close to being dead that very same day 

when they arrived to america, he asked deku the list of things he wanted to see and most of them were, “all might amusement park, all might cafe, all might- is there anything else the nerd likes besides all might and superheroes?” katsuki says while viewing the list in the hotel they’re staying at. “give him a break, you said so yourself that he couldn’t leave his house, so this is the least we can do for him and for all the hard work he put in our videos,” kirishima reasoned with him

on the last day of their trip, katsuki did his routine in piling the videos together and sending them to deku with the attached message, “i actually bought you a souvenir if you want it, looked like the type of shit you would like, you’ll see what it is in the videos i’ve sent you” they’ve known each other long enough so he thought why the hell not, it’s just a matter of getting his PO address, and the response to this was immediate, “AAA I SAW IT! THANK YOU THANK YOU!” <3<3 <(^w^<)

it was an all might limited edition figurine only available in the US 

for the first time, deku took two days longer to finish than katsuki expected him to since they’ve started because he always goes through them pretty quickly, maybe he’s too busy making them look up-to-par? whatever the case was, when katsuki received the video, it already had a title for it, “MY AWESOME TRIP TO AMERICA PLUS ULTRA!” kirishima just laughed and told him to keep it in honor of deku so he left it like that, “this better give me some views,” he grumbled and uploaded it the night before they went to bed, he wasn’t really worried in checking it out either because he has faith in deku’s abilities  

the morning after was hectic, katsuki has been receiving notifications upon notifications on the “travel bros” (courtesy of kirishima) twitter since last night, one in particular caught his eye, “i can’t believe deku and katsuki are dating! who would’ve thought!” what?

a short video appeared underneath that came from the video he uploaded, and regretfully never took a look at, showing katsuki saying to the camera as he held the AM figurine, “deku, you should’ve been here, look at what i got you, nerd,” at first glance, it was supposed to look normal (from the original video!) except hearts and sparkles began appearing around katsuki as he smirks up at the camera, what the fuck? besides, deku was suppose to edit that all out! for every cue in every part where he says deku’s name, he was expected to delete them like he usually does! even though it was no secret that deku was his video editor, he distinctly remembers mentioning about him in a video they took way back when they first started out their contract agreement

meanwhile, kirishima was having a field day, he finally saw their video while katsuki kept on seeing other short videos of him on twitter from different segments of the trip in which he either had sparkles or hearts around him, especially when he mentions deku’s name; “bro you won’t believe this, our subscribers grew up to over 1 million last night!” kirishima yells enthusiastically, but when he noticed katsuki not paying attention to him, he looked over his shoulder to check what he was looking at. “oh that, you know those aren’t fanmade videos, right?” katsuki unblinkingly turned to look at him, “you mean..?” kirishima gave him a toothy grin, “yep!” 

a video call from discord, “dekuuuu, what is the meaning of this?” a squeaky voice, “i-I’m so sorry i got carried away and i couldn’t help it! all might was too beautiful including you and-!” “..what did you just say?”

TBC maybe?

[simptasia]

neurodivergence in abc’s lost

i’m gonna be listing off and talking about the canon neurodivergent characters in lost. i won’t be adding characters that i personally headcanon as neurodivergent in some way, what i’m writing here is elaboration upon what has been given to me by the show. please note that none of these people’s conditions or disorders were named in the show, so such diagnoses being named here are me taking that extra step based upon their symptoms

first of all i wanna point out that based on what i’ve seen the show, that the island’s healing powers applies to conditions inflicted upon the mind, not ones inherent to the mind. thats why daniel’s brain damage heals, but people like hurley and locke will always continue to have depression

hugo “hurley” reyes

schizophrenia and depression

our most prominently featured mentally ill character. it might seem bold to label him with schizophrenia when it’s never said that that’s what he has. but during his time on lost, he displays many of the symptoms: paranoia, pathological self loathing, delusions and hallucinations. now, it’s a fictionalized depiction of schizophrenia and that’s probably not even what the writers had in mind but it’s none the less a really, really good and respectful portrayal of it

it would take too long to list off all the times when hurley displays paranoia (heck, it’s easy not to notice how much its a part of his character) and self loathing. delusions? the situations regarding the numbers and his bad luck (canon never ever Proves what hurley believes to be true regarding that stuff)

they did an episode dedicated to hurley having hallucinations. a man named dave who drives him to self destructive behaviour, self hatred and attempted suicide. fun fact: when people with schizophrenia in real life have hallucinations, they tend towards just auditory. hurley gets visual as well as per Rule Of Drama. this is not a bad thing, just a narrative tool

(steering slightly into headcanon for a bit here but i personally ignore the dharma made Hurley Bird they revealed in the epilogue and just take hurley hearing that bird say his name as an auditory hallucination. for two reasons: one, hurley hearing/seeing things that don’t exist is already consistent with his mental state. and two, that bird literally, genuinely did not fucking say hurley)

extra notes

to be clear, in case there's confusion, hurley really does have magical powers. he can talk to dead people. that isn’t a delusion or hallucination. you can understand how confusing and distressing this must be for hurley

he's had a compulsive eating disorder since he was ten due to the pain of his father abandoning him. his struggle with this is well documented

at several points during the show he’s shown to have trouble spelling. he especially confuses his “y(s)” and “ies”. it’s not clear if this is due to poor education or a learning issue. or both, really. it’s safe to assume with him being poor, mexican and mentally ill, that school wasn’t easy for hurley

hurley has unjustifiably lived at mental health institutions on at least two occasions (the first time was against his will, second was volunteer)

john locke

depression

locke suffers from severe self esteem issues, and i know most lost characters do, but i mean to the point of irrational and destructive behaviour. he has an obsession with being deemed special in order to justify his existence. he also suffers jarring mood swings. (he can switch from calm and jovial to angry and defensive at the drop of a hat). when he was wheelchair bound, this threw him into a depression. when he failed to convince anybody to come back to the island, he attempted suicide. he would have gone thru with it too. he will go to extremes to make sure things stay the way he wants them to (killing an innocent woman so they can stay on the island, tying up and drugging boone so he won’t tell anybody about the hatch), and will fall into despair if he fails

also note that the things im saying about locke are not a comment on people with depression. i don’t think all depressed people kill and drug people. those were statements on locke’s character that i believe are a part of his mental state. my point is: he’s emotionally unstable and he tried to kill himself. and i think his extreme need for validation (from people and the universe in general) is especially concerning

to me, this all says to me that locke has clinical depression

locke isn’t as easy as the other people on this list to classify as Canon Neurodivergent but at least to me, i think it’s very obvious. like i feel bad being so vague but like, basically, watch any locke episode

daniel faraday

acquired brain damage, severe memory degradation as well as other neurodivergent behaviours (i’ll go into it)

he’s played by jeremy davies. enough said

okay, jokes aside. at some point in the past daniel and his assistant theresa were involved in some vaguely referred to time based experiments. while she was catatonicized, the accident left daniel severely brain damaged (also daniel spent years doing radioactive experiments without head protection, which would not have helped and indeed that is foreshadowing of this whole debacle)

apparently this left him in a state where he can no longer take care of himself, having been assigned a carer. his most outstanding symptom is that his ability to process short AND long term memory has been impaired

short term: he’s shown to have issues retaining memories from day to day. he wasn’t sure if he had met charles widmore already (he hadn’t). charles lays some exposition on him and when daniel asks why he’s telling him this, charles says, with sureness, that “because by tomorrow you won’t remember this”. counting on that to be an absolute fact seems silly to me but that does seem to the case. again, Rule Of Drama is in play here

long term: he can no longer access memories he formed many years ago, famously the memories he formed with desmond in 1996. all in all, this condition is highly plot convenient. can’t argue with results, really

no, i can keep going, i got more, this is daniel fucking faraday we’re talking about: his ability to remember 3 playing cards has been impaired (note that this is a skill most 4 year olds master), he forgot the secret code the science team were all taught and when he introduces himself to jack there is a long pause, in hindsight implying that daniel forgot his own name

like real life memory conditions, theres varying level to how much he does and doesn’t remember. he’s thankfully not in a 50 first dates situation and doesn’t forget everything day to day. clearly he remembers people if they’re around enough, like during his time on the boat. charlotte, miles, frank, naomi...

upon landing on the island, his memory slowly gets better (considering his condition beforehand, the fact that nobody comments on this is staggering)

when dan is fully healed? i could not say, i could theorize, but such things are nebulous. but still, the times we see dan without his brain damage, he still behaves like a neurodivergent person. just not like he was when he was brain damaged. he stims near constantly, has a tendency to repeat names and words (echolalia) and it’s shown that dan compulsively counts in his head. he counted up to 864 beats, if i remember correctly, which is about 10 minutes of counting in his head. by no stretch of the imagination is that neurotypical behaviour

(im not trying to sound defensive. and i don’t think anybody, anywhere, is arguing that daniel faraday is a neurotypical. unfathomable)

going into headcanon territory again, his ND traits, when not brain damaged, say to me that he’s autistic and/or has OCD and possibly anxiety. thats all theorizing on my part tho. but the fact of the matter is, damage or no, he’s neurodivergent

notes

his apparent need for tactile sensory input is legendary in the lost fandom. in layman’s terms: him pet pet. not just people but objects too. humans, overall, tend to touch things to process input better. many ND people do it more, and it seems daniel is a case of that (i am not making a solid statement on jeremy davies’ neuro state. that’s his business)

he shows an inability to properly process grief

he also shows shocking indifference to his own safety, resulting in reckless behaviour. how much of this is a result of his mental state or his upbringing is up for debate. i think it’s a combo of both

without his brain damage, he appears to have an eidetic memory

danielle rousseau

trauma induced mental illness

pretty self explanatory. the loss of her expedition, husband and daughter, as well as 16 years of loneliness (on THIS island) has resulted in emotional instability for danielle. she’s prone to paranoia, trust issues, irrational behaviour

she’s just not well. she’s right most of the time but she’s not well

libby smith

indeterminate mental state 

libby was institutionalized (the same place hurley was sent to) and placed on medication (which seemed like sedatives to me, based on her expressions). in the show it’s not what clear what put her there, but having just done some research, i’ve discovered that Word Of God says that libby became mentally unstable after the death of her husband dave smith. so this is probably another case of trauma induced mental illness. she must have had a pretty extreme episode to cause her to be sent to a place like that. something to think about

but alas, it’s libby, so not much info. moving on

benjamin linus

anti social behaviour disorder (is my best guess)

oof. depictions of mental illness with characters who are immoral are depictions of mental illness nonetheless. i feel almost silly saying this but: ben is not... okay

ben displays issues (at best) with empathy, compassion and morality. how much he cares about other people is highly debatable but one thing that's certain is that he does genuinely love his daughter. everybody else is ????

but the loving alex thing rules out him being a sociopath or having narcissistic personality disorder. and it is genuine because when he loses it with grief, it’s not a performance, because the only audience is us...

he’s a compulsive liar, lying even when it doesn’t benefit him. lying just because. ben is highly unpredictable, which isn’t inherently a neurodivergent thing, but when a person goes from a calm discussion to strangling somebody, all roads point to Uh Oh (i don’t know the technical terms for Uh Oh). many of his outward emotions are performed (the difference between his fake smiles and few real smiles is noticeable). he’s manipulative, he treats people like objects for his benefit/plans, he’s self absorbed, he has zero issues with murder unless it’s a child. he does have some moral standards. but overall, uh, [just gestures at ben]

also ben is repeatedly offended when other people don’t trust him, which is HILARIOUS, but also shows a cognitive dissonance on his part

hmm i need more here, im gonna break out the big guns

that’s some basic info there and doesn’t that line up with ben?

the article goes on to say that people with this can put on superficial charm. that is, behave friendly and “normal” when they have to. which ben is shown to be able to do

and this

“Serious problems with interpersonal relationships are often seen in those with the disorder. Attachments and emotional bonds are weak, and interpersonal relationships often revolve around the manipulation, exploitation, and abuse of others.”

reminds me of his situation with juliet. and locke. and his “friendships” in general

i snipped the wikipedia article for this because unlike the rest i felt,,, underequipped to talk about this sort of thing

ben being mentally unwell is clear enough in canon and i think this disorder is what lines up best with it. please note that ben is capable of change and growth (like people in real life who have such issues) and like the show i’m not gonna paint him 100% evil or irredeemable. i’m just saying what’s true

notes

ben says at one point that he doesn’t dream anymore. it’s highly probably that this is a lie, but if it isn’t, well that's not good. it’d mean his brain isn’t entering into REM sleep properly, which can lead to emotional problems

ben doesn’t blink as much as most people do, something michael emerson did on purpose. this can apply to some neurodivergent people

it’s shown that he was quite nonverbal as a kid. in the flashbacks in “man behind the curtain” little ben barely speaks

honourable mentions

pretty much all the survivors suffer from PTSD due the trauma of the crash

a great deal of the characters suffer from PTSD from trauma in general due to their awful lifes. like, abusive parents, war, loss of loved ones, etc

and i must note that ben, daniel and locke suffering from parental abuse, ranging from emotional to physical, is something to factor into their cases

claire, similar to danielle, also suffered trauma induced mental illness due to the loss of her baby and feeling like she was abandoned

sayid is depicted as dead inside during season 6 due to The Sickness, so thats like a magical form of depression. and one could argue that he already had regular depression beforehand

boone joked about shannon having bulimia. (whether or not it’s true, boone is an asshole) if it’s true, shannon has an eating disorder, which is considered a form of mental illness. espech one so self image based

self harm

self harm is not an inherent part of mental illness but such concepts are often linked so i felt i should mention some of these, it’ll be quick

hurley’s aforementioned eating disorder

charlie takes heroin as a form of self harm (that isn’t a theory on my part, it’s clear as day that charlie started taking it because his sense of self worth was so low that the drugs felt like the only option)

locke, hurley, (both as mentioned above), jack, desmond, michael and richard have all attempted/nearly commited suicide

so what can we conclude from this? well that's up to you, really. that i love lost a fuck ton? that the actors and writing in lost is amazing? that all the neurodivergent based depth got saved for the boys? yeah

but i wanna conclude with this: a part of what makes lost really special to me is that these people i’ve talked out here? they’ve suffered, and oh boy it was tasty suffering, but all of them, yes even libby, were more than suffering

these people have nuance. one way or another, these people (to varying degrees) were happy at times. silly. funny. angry. opinionated. they loved. they were loved. they lived and breathed as human beings. that means a lot to me

lost is a story of broken people given a second chance. take that as you will

thank you for your time

[kind-wolf]

Happy Birthday 

to one of the loveliest people I have the pleasure to call friend! 

@angelaiswriting​

I wrote you a little story. Although it just recently dawned on me that I f*cked up by showing you the writing from my prime time. In comparison, this seems a bit lame. But I did my best. Hope you can enjoy it at least a little!

"You can not just get her flowers for her birthday, Volodya!" Anatoly insisted.

"She's also getting this." his brother replied, suggestively grabbing between his legs.

Anatoly sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day. He was no expert in women and relationships either, (he still thinks it was pure luck that brought him and his wife together), but he was certain that giving your girlfriend only flowers and sex on her birthday, was not a good idea. And it certainly was not enough for a woman that puts up with his brother.

And as soon as he voiced that very thought, Vladimir rounded on him, scowl deeply etched into his features. "What do you mean put up with me?"

Toly, long used to his brother's temper only leveled him with a look.

And thus Volodya ended the discussion by huffing and storming into his office.

But in private, Vladimir couldn't help but think about his brother's words. Angela and him were so different, she was sweet and innocent, far too good compared to his calloused hardness, yet she doesn't seem deterred by his gruff behavior. But she is probably expecting more from him in this case. Something nice. Like her.

They had met in the little Russian corner store Ulyana always insisted to go to when he helped her with her groceries. It had been obvious, not only to him but also to the old Lady that this young woman was somewhat lost between all those foreign products. If it had been for Vladimir, he wouldn't have spared her a second glance, but of course, Ulyana insisted he goes and offers some help. And there was a glint in the old woman's eyes, he didn't like. Not one bit.

From that moment on, things escalated quickly. So quickly in fact that he can barely recall how it all happened. But here he was, months later, thinking about whatever birthday present his girlfriend wants. Fuck.

Days. Fucking days, countless packs of cigarettes and a very persistent headache later, he finally figured something out. It was perfect for her.

He would have to suffer though. But what is a little suffering after spending years in that shithole in siberia?

Also, a small part of him felt gleeful over the fact that it wasn't something she could or would want to return, even when she some day inevitably decides to leave him. This will be something from him that stays with her. A constant reminder.

~~~~~~~~~

Working on your own birthday sucked. Not that you had any big plans. It was a weekday and everyone had to work, so you figured you'd have a nice dinner with Vladimir, his brother and your friends on the following weekend.

You perked up a little when you came through the door of Vladimir's (who were you kidding? You basically lived here.) apartment and saw that the lights were on. He was home. Unusually early. Another exception made for you, after already getting up early today to get you fresh & gluten-free cupcakes, coffee and flowers before you had to go to work. You smiled to yourself. The softie.

When you entered the living room where he was sat watching some serial killer documentary with a drink in hand, you immediately spotted something out of the ordinary in the corner. Something big and square that was hidden underneath two blankets.

"Hey Volodya!" you greeted him with a chaste kiss after plopping down besides him. "What's this in the corner?"

He grinned. "Suprise for my birthday girl." When you sat up, clearly intending to have a look, he grabbed you around the waist and pulled you closer to him again. "For later." he amended. And to effectively distract you, his other hand came up to gently grasp your chin and guide you to him.

Kissing Vladimir still gave you butterflies every time. He always saw himself as this rough gangster, but when he kissed you his true self always shone through. It wasn't harsh or demanding. Sure, sometimes it was rough and dominating, but only in those moments. In general, it felt like the perfect mixture of adoration and passion. He rarely says how he feels. In fact, he had only ever said I love you once. But his kisses, they tell you every day.

It took you a second to get your bearings when Vlad pulled back. "Go get changed in something comfortable. We're picking your birthday present."

You were confused. "I'm supposed to pick my own present?"

"Don't start with that look. You'll like it. Promise." Vladimir assured you, giving you a rare genuine smile.

"Fiiiiine."

It wasn't long before Volodya pulled into the parking lot of a building, you had walked by a thousand times but never dared to go inside.

"The dog shelter!?" you exclaimed, voice raising with excitement. "We're getting a dog?l"

"You are getting a dog. You always wanted one, no?"

Instead of using words, you answered him by basically leaping across the seats and smothering him in kisses. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

Vladimir chuckled and carefully pushed you away. "Enough. I thought dog might try to lick my face. Not you."

You wiggled your eyebrows playfully. "I know, you prefer when I lick something else."

"Don't start. Get out. Before I change my mind." Vlad growled, not able to hide his grin at the end.

He was probably bluffing, but still, you wouldn't take the chance and quickly hopped out of the car, almost running to the entrance.

In the last second however, Vlad caught up to you and stopped you by grabbing your wrist. "Before we go inside, you have to promise one thing, Мышка."

He was using his serious gangster tone, as you liked to call it, so you just nodded, waiting for him to go on.

"It will not sleep in bed."

"But if it's..."

"нет!"

"But when you're..."

"Not in bed."

"Alright, alright."

When you two stepped thru the door and up to the counter, the woman behind it greeted you with a friendly smile. "Ah, Mr. Miller, back with your wife now I see!"

You startled, confused not only at the way she greeted Vladimir, but also at the word wife.

Before you could correct her, Vlad gave her his version of a friendly smile. "Yes. She can pick one now."

She directed another smile at you. "Very well. Let me just get my colleague, she'll show you around."

As soon as she was out of earshot, you turned to Vlad, eyes still wide. "Mr. Miller? Wife? What? You've been here before? What?"

Vlad snorted at your obvious confusion. "да. Been here and asked what we need for dog. And to get papers ready. With fake information."

"So that's the box in the living room." you mused out loud. And before your brain could catch up with your mouth, you added: "You shouldn't have made me your wife. I don't even wear a ring."

Vlad gave you one of his calculating looks, where you couldn't tell what was going on in his brain. "So, you don't want to be my wife. I'll remember that."

"Oh. I- I didn't... That's not.. " you stuttered, face heating up immediately. That was really not what you were thinking. It just caught you off guard. Especially since you didn't think he would be the kind of guy that thinks about marriage.

Volodya's quiet chuckle and his hand squeezing yours stopped your brain from going into overdrive. "Мышка, it was joke!"

Thankfully you were saved from further stuttering by the woman returning with her colleague.

Time to pick your new companion!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Vladimir couldn't stop the smile from showing on his face as Angela's eyes lit up at seeing the first dog.

"Look Volodya! He's so fluffy!"

"Awww! Such a cute snout!"

"Those eyes!"

"What tiny paws!"

"See how she's wagging her tail!"

"His fur is sooo smooth!"

"Naww! How gentle he is!"

It went on like this for what felt like forever. And he knew they would spend the whole night here if he doesn't reign her in.

He stepped closer to the bars of the cage she was currently petting a little creme-colored rat-chaser. "You have to pick one Мышка. You know that?"

Her head whipped up and her mouth opened, ready to protest, but it seemed that reality slowly dawned on her.

The light in her eyes dimmed a bit. "I know. But howww?"

He extended his hand for her to take. "Pick one. If you don't like it we bring it back." Vlad offered with a shrug.

Instead of taking his hand Angela smacked his arm. "What? No! Don't be mean."

"Just pick one." he grumbled in return, clearly not seeing an issue with his statement.

She wandered slowly along the cages, Vladimir silently following behind.

"I- I think it's that one. He just looks so sad." Her voice nearly cracked when she crouched down and stuck her hand thru the bars of one cage.

Vladimir, feeling this weird prickling in his chest, crouched down beside her and pulled her against him with an arm around her shoulders. "Won't be sad anymore when he's with you."

A tiny smile from her was all the confirmation he needed. So he pulled her to her feet and gestured to the employee that has been waiting at the end of the corridor.

And since Mr. Miller had been here the day before, only the dog's information needed to be filled into the adoption papers before they could get out of there.

Angela struggled to carry the slightly too-big-to-be-carried-by-her dog, but she insisted on carrying her new baby.

"I really hope the other dogs will get adopted too." She said, while they waited at the counter.

Before he could comment, the employee came back with the papers. She handed Vladimir the dog's ID and told him the adoption fee.

Angela's concerns fresh in mind, Vlad hesitated only a moment before thinking fuck it and pulling a thick wad of cash from his pocket.

As soon as he pushed it over the counter, the woman's eyes went wide. "Sir, that's... that's way too much, we only ask for..."

"Rest is donation." He cut her off, with a tone that made it clear there would be no further talk about it.

"Oh. Ah, thank you then. And I hope you will be happy with the new addition to your family."

Once again a smile plastered on her face, Angela thanked the woman before walking out the door Vladimir was holding open for her.

"That was really sweet Volodya!"

He glared at her, even tho he already knew it didn't have that much effect on her anymore. "Get in car."

Angela giggled, knowing he hated it when she pointed out his soft moments.

It's been a week. A week with that little furry pest.

And while Vladimir usually looked forward to coming home, especially knowing she was there, waiting for him, his excitement was slightly dimmed these days. It wasn't that he doesn't enjoy seeing her so happy. He did. It was just, that dog needed too much attention. He couldn't even sit down and have a drink and just be, after a long day surrounded by idiots, before that little thing was climbing into his lap, trying them like his face, or even worse, chewing on the seam of his pants.

This day when he closed the door of his apartment though, it was eerily quiet. And neither Angela nor the dog came to greet him, despite it being not that late at all. He scowled but resisted the urge to immediately reach for his gun. With slow and silent steps he crept through the hall.

His posture relaxed though, when he stepped into the living room.

There, in between a mess of toys the two were. Curled up and peacefully sleeping on the floor in front of the couch.

Vladimir's little scoff must have finally alerted the dog to his presence because he blinked at him and thumped his little tail against the floor.

"You have to get better at guarding your мама." Vlad mumbled while slowly approaching them and bending down to pick Angela up. She stirred when he pushed his arms under her, so he tried to sooth her. "Shhh Мышка, 's just me. I'm taking you to bed."

Despite his efforts, her eyes slowly blinked open, while he walked to the bedroom. "But I still gotta walk him."

Vladimir tried to keep his face neutral and suppressed a sigh. Still, his voice sounded grumpy, even in his own ears. "I will do it."

"But, you don't want to." Despite her protest, her eyes were already closing again while he placed her onto the bed and put the blanket over her.

"Sleep, Мышка." He insisted, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of her head.

So there he was, walking the dog.

Suffering, just as he predicted.

Was it worth it tho?

да, she was worth it.

[bluebellhairpin]

Round of Robins

Dick Grayson X Robin!Reader X Jason Todd

A/N: Titans!Jason Todd owns my entire being and I will forever shamelessly admit it. This fic is kinda short too, it’s basically just a whole bunch of ‘imagine’s’ stitched together. - Nemo 

Based on: Imagine being another Robin

Warning(s): Some bad words. Character Death (hahahahaguesswho). 

Summary: With Batman taking on two new Robins now that that one old one is gone, feeling and tension rises, along with one question. Three head are better than one, but are three Robins better than two?

Alt. Summary: Ha HA ha; Ever heard of a chaotic threesome? Because this is it. 

Masterlist  

"Okay, I wish to restate my comment earlier." You started, phone in hand as you spoke to the duo in the front seat.

"Which one?" Jason asked, not turning, but you could tell he had a grin again.

"The flock of Robins.” You looked up from your phone to gauge their reactions. “It’s actually called a round of Robins." Dick just laughed, while Jason mimicked you under his breath.

"’A round of Robins’. If only we worked together.” 

"Don't you mean if only we worked 'well' together?" You said, putting down your phone with a snort. "Hey, turn in here Dickie." You hit Dicks shoulder, pointing to the drive-thru of a diner on your left. He mumbled in protest, saying something about the food not being good for you, but did as you asked anyway. 

“Grab me some large fries yeah?” Jason asked, and the car rolled to a stop near a serving window, 

“Make it double.” You let out a silent laugh, Dick groaning lightly before starting to order and pay.

“You both owe me.”

“Our love and attention, Bluebird?” you said, fluttering your eyelashes at Dick. 

“Or, alternatively, I know a guy who-”

“No, Jason. I don’t need anything from you. Thanks.” 

-----------

“Jeeee-sus-”

“(y/n) please, you’re getting as bad as Jason.” 

“There’s nothing ‘bad’ about me Dickie. Not even this compromising position I’ve  found myself in can be viewed as bad.” 

“Aw, Jaybird, we all know you’re only saying that because your head is stuck between my thighs-”  

“Maybe I should come back later.” Gar said, pointing back out the door he just came through. Dick shook his head with a sigh.

“No Gar, they’re just being idiots again.” Dick said, looking down at you and Jason disapprovingly. “I wonder how Batman can get anything done with them around.” 

You opened you mouth to speak, rising off Jason as you did, but Dick caught you.

“Don’t make a comment about my ass again. I don’t care.”

“And the little blush you get on your face says you don’t care.” Jason barked out a laugh, whether at your comment, at Dick’s red face, or at Gar’s shocked look, you didn’t know. But you did know that for the moment, your job was done. 

----------

In only a few short seconds, you’d managed to get everyone in the room to glare at you. To think, all it took was saying you’d locked Dick and Jason in a cleaning supply closet. 

At the time you thought it’d be very funny, and the possibility of Jason getting thrown at the door by Dick(or alternatively throwing himself at the door to get away from Dick) only added to the hilarious image formed in your mind. 

Kory thought differently, and as soon as she got your answer to ‘Where are the other two?’ she was off trying to find them. Rachel only shook her head, while Gar was obviously starting to think about exactly what the other two had gotten themselves into, seeing as he was trying to hide his growing grin from both you and Rachel. 

“It’s okay Green-Bean. I think it’s pretty damn funny too.” 

“I swear to go when I find (y/n) I’ll kill-” Jason yelled, obviously been set free from his chemical-and-mop-jail. He didn’t sound like he was seeing the funny side of things. 

“Time to go.” You say, standing, and giving both Gar and Rachel a two-fingered salute before setting off running towards the stairwell. 

----------

“Man, why am I so sore today?” You said, rolling your shoulder. 

“You should be more careful on patrol. I saw some of the flips you were trying last night and you definitely pulled a couple muscles.” Dick said, coming up behind you and resting his hand on your tentative shoulders. “Relax.” he said, shaking your upper body as his hands started working, and you instantly melted.

“He’s pretty good with his hands, huh?” Jason asked, standing in the doorway sipping one of your apple juice boxes. 

“Gimme back my juice Jay.” you said, frowning half-halfheartedly at him. He looked at you, making a show of licking the straw, then offered it out to you.

“You sure you want it back (n/n)?”

“You’re so childish Jason.” Dick said, pressing his fingers into a hard knot near the back of your neck. You hissed at him, trying to move away, but he held firm. “Just relax. Breathe. It’ll go away.” 

“I want you to go away.”

“Aw Jay, he’s doing me a solid, don’t be so mean.”

----------

“You left him there! What kind of hero are you!” you yelled, thrashing against Dick as he held you back from Bruce. 

“I- You know I had no choice, (y/n). He was-....”

“Already dead! I know! The least you could’ve done was bring him back so we could say goodbye!” you said, voice cracking. Behind you Dick was starting to pull out of shock, the adrenaline wearing off all too soon.

“(y/n), please. Not now.” he said quietly, moving from pinning your arms behind you to wrapping them around you in a hug. You used the moment of his weakened hold to break free instead, stepping away in a tear-filled rage. 

“If I don’t say it now, I’ll regret it later.” you said to Dick, the turning to Bruce, “You lost my best friend. We joined this together, and I’ll make damn sure we this leave together.” 

“No, (n/n)-”

“I’m done, Bruce. Find a new Robin!”

-----------

“(y/n), you-you came.”

“Yeah well, I heard you and Batsy have an unfix-able problem in the form of a Red-Bucketed gun-slinger. I figured that you called me because I’m the only one who can help.” you looked up, hands stuck deep in your pockets as the rain fell heavy outside.

“Bruce- he’ll-” Dick started. 

“I’m not here for him. He’s called me and I never answered. You called, so I’m here for you.” Dick started leading you towards the computer room, and as you walked in each monitor displayed different scenes on repeat. Looking closely, you found the fighting style was familiar.

“Dick, look.” you started, pointing to one of the screens, showing the Red-Headed criminal flipping. “It’s that-” 

“The shortened quadruple flip I taught you and…” 

“Jason.”

[sparring-spirals]

full episode liveblog time! here for 102, which i assume will involve combat, and the repercussions of that one crying dude/the whole m9 crying back at him.

(first half of the ep; making a new one for the second half cause this is LONG. a lot happened!)

- oh, boy, matts shirt. matts shirt. that deserves its own post, but either way: god what an unexpected crossover between BDG and CR.

- i had forgotten what experiencing a sam ad was like. is remembering a curse.... or a blessing.... 

- memetic overload.

- i take back what i said just now this is a masterpiece. i would pay for multiple seasons of this. also “spearfishing” is a correct piece of cybersecurity technology and somehow that was more surprising than the rest of the ad.

- i like to think the “very badly pretending they have already recorded something they are going to do in the future” is just a cover up for them actually having time travel powers.

- RIGHT into combat. 

- OH FUCK BEAU IS UNCONSCIOUS wow you cry in solidarity with a figure in the woods and this is how you get repaid? :////

- WAIT SHE’S AT ZERO HIT POINTS???? (haha i love the collective horror from the cast)

- FJORD SLIDING IN TO SAVE HIS BRO, with a whopping 2hp and also a smack to the face of the thing :’) 

- yasha also immediately and sprinting over. ugh i have so many thoughts about feelings about love within the m9.

- *yasha heals more* “okay well its not a competition.” “its a competition”. god i love them

- “We avoided a dragon turtle and we just walked up to this one.” valid point sam, but have you considered: The Mighty Nein Love Trouble.

- ...laura... laura what are you trying to do.

- i love the vibes of “tried to cry in solidarity with creepy figure” encouraging the plan of “going to force creepy figure to smile”. minimal brain cells. maximum galaxy brain.

- caduceus just wants to leave and tbh given his day so far i cant blame him.

- Live on CR, sam takes 3d6 poison damage from his own flask. dammit sam.

- “Oh your pain isn’t funny but im laughing.” spoken like a true friend, taliesin.

- We Love Monks

- vaguely heard sam saying something about “forgot to strain out the chunks” “old wine” “basically vinegar” and wow im upping that 3d6 to a 4d6. 

- FJORD GOT THE HDYWTDT. YESSSS. <3

- the cast are such shits. laura and liam both making squeaky will o wisp voices. also liams voice genuinely startled me. - “I don’t have cure wounds prepped!” the mighty nein have 2 clerics because both of them have non-cleric day jobs.

- ahahahhaha oh man fjord can never catch a break huh. its okay fjord!!! your two hp were very impressive. i was impressed, fjord.

- “4 and then teen!” “are we teaching ronin 14???”

- .....you can... eat your spiritual weapon. h u h. wow.

- AH HERE IS THE CARRYING.

- god this is so fucking adorable and wholesome oh my GOD, jester being super enthusiastic and supportive and silently gushing about yasha with beau, yasha being the one to ask, yasha saying yes to carrying her, beau enthusiastically gesturing to jester about it and being happy, this is so goddamn wonderful.

- jester to caduceus: bro just step out of the puddle bro. just dont get eaten bro. caduceus: but...wait.. but.... D:

- ahh these fjord and jester interactions real cute. shipping aside, i love how they interact with each other- its always very sweet, and caring, in a way that the m9 (group of occasional assholes) don’t always do as well

- ahhh. fjord got through to her about the traveller!!!!! !!!!

- this whole convo is so good, capped by “ah shit everyone can hear us.”

- Fjord: “Who knows if an island is a thing!” Jester: “... an island is definitely a thing. its a landform surrounded on all sides by the sea-” Fjord, Goin Thru It: “BUT IS IT A CREATURE? IS IT ALIVE?” Beau, groggy: “you woke me up just to ask if an island is a thing.” do they know i love them

- jester and yasha fanning beau and keeping her cool. :) :D <3 im not saying ot3 but also ot3

- DINOSAUR - FU CK IN D I NO SA U R S BA Y B I E

- an appropriate array of reactions to a trex

- viridien: i can fl- the mighty nein: YOU CAN FLY WE GET IT

- while trying to hide from a t-rex, veth: caleb did you see my magic earlie-

- i mean.... DO faux gods sleep? its a valid question

-counting myself lucky that the beau and veth arm wrestle didnt turn out like the beau and jester bar brawl from way back when

- the mighty nein: *salty comments about flying* viridien: ..im... sorry? the mighty nein, immediately guilty upon being caught: “oh god sorry we were just giving you shit.” fjord, dropping evergreen truth: “we joke with the people we like.”

- followed immediately by an incredibly forward interrogation. poor viridien is confused, being mildly insulted, healed, and having her brain picked from four different directions. The Mighty Nein are a menace, i adore them.

wow this post is LONG, alright, we’re gonna split it for the break.

[whirlybirbs]

birb’s big ol’ take on THE RISE OF SKYWALKER below!

honestly, i had fun. it was a fun movie -- and i’ve never been a star wars purist. these movies, ever since i was a kid, have brought me so much joy. i could care less about the quality a lot of the time because the movies mean so much to me, but honestly TROS cemented my belief that TLJ was a joke. i might catch flak for it, but there was so much that... i coulda just.... never known. or seen. and the end would have been the same. 

in all fairness, watching the originals (4-6) have the same effect on me. same war, same moral high-ground, same narrative, same twists. it’s kinda on brand for star wars to not make much sense until the end. 

i honestly enjoyed it. a lot. there were some weird plot holes, some weird moments, but it was fun. and i saw my favorite characters grow and evolve and !!! anyways, here are some top moments i’d like to address. 

1. king grouch poe dameron ran spice.

he ran spice. this motherfucker. ran spice. he ran spice and had a hot bounty hunter partner and he left for the cause. poe left the criminal underground for the naval academy so he could fight for something and... i love him. 

kinda outta left field -- but you know what isn’t?

2. trio dynamics.

poe and rey arguing. fin is tired. he’s trying to keep it all together. rey likes to prod poe for fun. poe is just trying to fucking do his best. i love the idea that rey and poe, the two poster children for the resistance bicker endlessly -- it’s like leia’s two other kids. 

(also, the base on ajan kloss? beautiful. literally so so beautiful. in fact, all the planets we see? stunning. the movie itself is breathtaking.)

3. what the fuck was finn gonna say

i mean, probably confess his love, bc if i’m not shipping rose/rey or rey/literally any woman ever, i’m shipping rey/finn. their dynamic is pure and good and healthy and they love and support one another and -- ugh GOD my KING JOHN BOYEGA LOOKED SO FUCKIN GOOD. 

4. jedi master leia organa

do i need to make a comment on this? i open mouth sobbed. that’s my princess. that’s my BITCH!!!!!!!!! also? force luke being like “rey u bitch don’t u dare throw my shit into that fire pit”.

5. hux is the fucking mole because of fucking course he is, that slimy bastard, i love him.

honestly, we knew. we alllllll knew. we knew that insufferable brat was out for kylo’s whole ass -- but i do wish, instead of adding old empire general’s, they’d stuck with hux in command. the collateral damage and shock value would have been so much better. not to mention, a good old side switch. i wanna see hux on ajan kloss swatting at bugs and being uncomfortable. 

i’m poe: “I KNEW IT WAS YOU.”

6. thank fucking god for a ben solo redemption arc. thank fucking god. 

i’ve been talking about ben’s redemption for a while now -- one that’s only fitting if he dies in the process and! MY MAN JJ CAME THRU. HE KNEW. 

honestly this movie really did solidify ben solo as one of my favorite characters in the star wars universe -- there’s such a strong dichotomy to this evil creature he’s been groomed to be and himself, the idiot goes “ow” to no one in particular after a hard fall. he’s so so so like han it hurts. 

i think he arc is so much like a manic comedown -- in the beginning of the movie he’s just nerves on fire. 

and the elephant in the room:

the r*ylo kiss. 

ok, here’s the thing. i’m gonna analyze this real quick.

rey, my absolute queen, saves ben the moment after she absolute kicks his ass. the moment of weakness is spurred by leia reaching out -- she distracts ben, he feels her, rey strikes, leia dies with ben. rey feels it. and she feels guilt. so, she gives a part of her lifeforce to ben, healing him.

earlier in the movie, with that big ol’ snake? me thinks: dats symbolism luv.

kylo ren is a terrifying serpent, hidden deep in the caverns of the dark, wounded and dangerous -- but with a tepid hand and compassion, rey offers a piece of herself to heal the serpent. and what happens? the snake moves, and the caverns are filled with light. 

ben comes to after that -- after his sworn enemy strikes him down and saves his life in one swoop. ben sees his father. he reconciles. and han knows he’s sorry. and just like rey tried to throw luke’s saber in the fire to escape the mantle of jedi, ben promptly hurls his lightsaber (a symbol of his imbalance, volatility, evil) into this terrifying sea. 

rey is fire, ben is water. balance.

so, then there’s the whole twin-force-bond-dyad-weird-shit. it’s a bit much of an explanation as to why rey and ben are tied together karmatically -- them just being such polar opposites on a similar journey is enough for me. 

i think -- honestly -- after rey defeats palpatine by his own hand? and she passes? ben felt it. he sacrificed himself for her, in one last show for his mother’s spirit. 

the kiss? rey felt him slipping away, felt what he wanted -- love and acceptance and... i dunno, man, ben’s smile said it all. i’m not a particularly big shipper of it (there’s a lot of toxicity within enemies to lovers tropes, especially one as a deep as rey and ben’s) but it was nice to see, in those last few minutes, ben solo throw away the dark for something good. 

hhhhhhhhhhhh pls don’t burn me at stake

[lady-divine-writes]

Resolutions

Summary: While writing up his own resolutions, Crowley decides to helpfully write up a list for his husband. (1472 words)

Notes: Written for @drawlight's '31 Days of Ineffables' prompts 'glitter' and 'resolution'.

Read on AO3.

Walking through his shop, returning the daily herd of wandering books to their correct shelves, Aziraphale comes upon a sight he’s never witnessed.

Not in the flesh.

Not once.

And not one he ever thought he’d see no matter how long he lived.

Crowley writing – at Aziraphale’s desk, of all places.

Aziraphale has received notes from Crowley before: requests for an audience to discuss their Arrangement, reminders of the temptations Aziraphale agreed to perform, reports on the blessings Crowley had done, taunting letters during the times in between when Crowley simply felt like nagging him. Dirty limericks scrawled in a sloppy hand on oil-stained parchment would occasionally pop up out of nowhere in his pocket. Nowadays, notes from Crowley are mainly reminders to pick up more wine or chocolate biscuits when Aziraphale goes to the market.

Aziraphale has simply never seen Crowley in action.

He figured Crowley miracles up his memos the way he miracles up everything else. No need to actually set pen to paper when a simple snap of his fingers will do the trick.

Writing seems like too tedious a chore to be worthy of Crowley’s precious time.

Aziraphale smirks as he watches him, planted in his stiff, antique chair; the bottom half of his body rearranged in that liquid way Crowley sits, but still as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

As if the desk is his which, even though they’re married and pretty much sharing everything they own at this point, kind of irks Aziraphale. Yes, Aziraphale lives at Crowley’s flat, sleeps in his bed, and eats at his kitchen table, but he would never presume to grab the keys to his Bentley and take it for a spin.

That would be unforgiveable.

Aziraphale ranks this the same.

But he takes a deep breath in and lets it go. He’s never told Crowley his feelings on the matter, never expressed any emotional connection to his desk. Crowley probably sees it as simply another piece of furniture in this “residence” that they share and therefore had no reservations about sitting at it.

Which is kind of nice when Aziraphale comes to think about it.

Nevertheless, he’ll set him right about the whole situation later.

“What has you so busy, my dear?” he asks since it sounds kinder and less confrontational than, ‘What the Heaven are you doing at my desk?’ A glance at the wall calendar adds a level to Aziraphale’s questioning. It’s December 31st. New Year’s Eve. “Working on your resolutions?”

“Sort of,” Crowley admits, the words coming out in a drawl as he says them over the sentence he’s writing. When he finishes, he picks up the page and hands it over.

Aziraphale takes it, curiosity piqued. “What is this?”

“I was writing a list of resolutions – just for fun, mind you. But then, something hit me, and I started this one … for you.”

Aziraphale’s left eyebrow crawls up his forehead towards his hairline as he reads. “You’ve written up a numbered list of my flaws?”

“No. I’ve written up a numbered list of things you think are your flaws, aided by a list you apparently started, and based off some horrible Post-Its from Gabriel I found in your top drawer while searching for a pen.” Crowley growls the end of it, an angry hiss consuming his s’s, a lick of fire warming the yellow of his eyes.

“Yes, well, we’re overdue to have a talk about boundaries, my dear,” Aziraphale sniffs, scanning through the list numerous times, his posture becoming more rigid with every read thru. “I don’t see anywhere on this list where it says fraternizing with a demon.”

Crowley grins. “That’s because I know, deep down, you don’t see that as a flaw.”

Aziraphale rolls his eyes but he doesn’t contradict. “So, what am I supposed to do with this, hmm? Are these the things you want me to work on in the coming New Year?”

“Nope. Not a whit. I’m not asking you to change a thing about yourself.”

“Then what do I do with this?”

“You tear it into tiny pieces and set it on fire.”

Aziraphale frowns. “I may be wrong, but I don’t think that’s how New Year’s resolutions are supposed to work.”

“You do know New Year’s resolutions are shit, don’t you?” Crowley asks. “They’re completely unnecessary, especially considering that time itself is a made-up construct. I mean, you do remember when we had ten months in a year and not twelve, right?”

Aziraphale bounces his head left and right, agreeing more in spirit than in word.

“There’s nothing about the so-called beginning of the year that warrants beating yourself up over stuff you didn’t accomplish the last time the Earth revolved around the sun. Besides, I think Hastur came up with the concept.”

“It was Gabriel actually.”

Crowley nods. “Makes sense. Seems like the sort of plague his uptight, micro-managing ass would inflict upon the world.”

Aziraphale doesn’t comment, but silently, he agrees.

“So whaddya say? Tear it up? Rid yourself of the bullshit? You know you want to …” Crowley mimics ripping the page in the air in front of him on the off chance Aziraphale may not be familiar with the concept.

Aziraphale looks over the list, reading through the items he’d started writing, bleeding into the ones Crowley added.

Well, Gabriel added. They were simply copied in Crowley’s handwriting.

Un-angelic consumption of mortal food resulting in a slovenly appearance and an unseemly gut.

Slovenly. Aziraphale grimaces. So maybe he carries a few more pounds around the middle than most angels. But that doesn’t make him slovenly.

Un-angelic obsession with mortal material possessions.

Aziraphale scoffs. Hypocrite.

Un-angelic collection of defiled copies of the Holy Bible.

Un-angelic consumption of alcohol to the point of drunkenness.

Un-angelic this …

Un-angelic that …

Un-angelic bull pucky!

And Aziraphale knows that somewhere in his mess of Post-Its, Gabriel commented on the company Aziraphale keeps, specifically mentioning his un-angelic association with an ex-anti-Christ, a witch, a medium, and a demon, but Crowley either didn’t find it or chose not to include it.

Every criticism Gabriel has about Aziraphale begins with the modifier un-angelic. Which means Heaven – or at the very least Gabriel – considers Aziraphale un-angelic.

A pathetic excuse for an angel.

If Aziraphale were a demon, would this be seen as a list of flaws?

Would they matter at all?

Perhaps there wouldn’t even be a list if these are the only things “wrong” with him.

That’s definitely something Aziraphale may want to consider.

He glances at his husband grinning up at him with excitement. Every opportunity Aziraphale has to triumph over Heaven excites Crowley. But Aziraphale has paused so long, worry has started to settle in the corners of Crowley’s eyes. Aziraphale has been pushed down so far by Heaven, sometimes Crowley fears he won’t find the strength to stand again.

But he does.

Always has.

Stands back up and keeps on keeping on, still doing the things he loves, which makes it all the better.

Aziraphale doesn’t need Heaven and their insults.

He has Crowley’s love.

Aziraphale turns the list on its side, pinches it at the edge, and tears it down the middle.

Crowley whisper-chants, “Go! Go! Go! Go!” when Aziraphale slows down, encouraging him to continue.

And continue he does – tearing and turning and tearing and turning – until small squares of torn paper fill his cupped hands, the list unreadable except for a few individual words.

“There.” Crowley glows proudly at his husband. “How did that feel?”

“Good,” Aziraphale admits. “But this is going to feel better.” He tosses the scraps in the air. He doesn’t set them alight. He doesn’t want to trigger his sweet, supportive husband. Instead, with a snap, he turns them into glitter – harmless specks of gold and silver falling through the air and disintegrating where they touch.

“Beautiful,” Crowley says, slow clapping. He puts a gentle hand on his husband’s elbow and pulls him into his lap. “Positively gorgeous.”

“Thank you, my dear.” Aziraphale rests an arm on his demon’s shoulders. “I try my best. By the way, what did your list of resolutions have on it?”

“Oh.” Crowley reaches for the breast pocket of his jacket, but before his hand slips inside, he miracles the page into his grasp. “Read it for yourself.”

Aziraphale snatches it, more eager to read Crowley’s list of perceived flaws than his own. Except … “Darling?”

“Yes?”

Aziraphale flips the page front to back. “There’s nothing on this.”

“Of course there’s nothing on it! Can’t much improve on perfection, can you?”

Aziraphale studies the smug expression on Crowley’s face, his eyebrows bouncing over his yellow eyes, challenging Aziraphale to disagree.

Aziraphale shakes his head and leans in to give his ridiculous serpent a kiss on the cheek.

“Whatever you say, dear.”

[bawkrya]

ok so im just gonna pick at fr from a web designer pov because looking at this site on mobile will drive me into madness if they don’t fix it at some point. The rest of this post will go under a read more because it’s both super long and image heavy.

before i hit mobile though, I’m going to point out some things i just don’t personally like in general with the site design (and yes i am conscious that they are slowly updating to a new look)

this will come as a shock to no one, if you’ve seen previous web design related posts by others anyways, but i cant. stand this menu

[ID: A cropped screenshot of Flight Rising’s Main Menu]

fr, understandably, has a shit ton of links. it’s a petsite with lore and all that, whatever. The thing that bothers me specifically is the length of links and where some are placed.

1. i BELIEVE this counts as an accessibility issue where longer links kinda trap shorter links, goes into misclicks to other pages in the site, etc. etc.  2. i don’t think. the search link should be under library personally ? Maybe make it its own category. 

Dev Tracker & Media could go under this category, possibly add separate links to forum, player, and dragon searches with updated formatting

Dressing Room and Scrying Workshop could go under the “Play” category 

Forums can be it’s own category with possible subcategories being: Announcements & News, Help Center, and Flight specific discussion forum, maybe more 

Library category could then just be: Which Waystone, World Map, Game Database, and Encyclopedia.

Support should be it’s own category.

One thing on the shop category, and i hesitate to say this because im not CONFIDENT on this one, but I’m not sure Custom Skins exactly fits? or at least, it should be Purchase Gems -> Marketplace -> Custom Skins, not between crossroads and festive favors

Merch should probably go under purchase gems, and they should maybe uhh..... i guess change the name for it overall? because 1. “merch” alone does NOT look good with its placement, 2. its another actual money purchase thing and I think those should go on the same page

Along with that, in putting merch under that page, they could put previews of the merch with a button to go purchase instead of immediately going to their merch site (which to begin with it should open in a new tab if its going to a separate site?!!)

then this is a mix of both not liking it on laptop OR mobile, 

[ID: A cropped image of Flight Rising’s Clan Home page. The Bestiary link has a bright red box highlighting it]

Obviously these pages are old, but the graphics need to be updated, and there needs to be graphics for every link in the category-- seeing with this category alone there isn’t a graphic for the Bestiary already. On top of this they need to be in link order preferably. if they had a normal dropdown menu for mobile, mobile users wouldn’t be able to access the bestiary unless FR wanted to be STUPID and do further dropdown menus w their 200 links which would be STUPID and CLUTTERED

also in my opinion the Messages link isn’t necessary since we have the button at the top. If they put it there as an excuse for accessibility, they can just. add text to the buttons. like here’s a scuffed mockup but. 

[ID: Screenshot of Flight Rising’s Messages, Friend Requests, and Alerts icons edited to have Messages, Friends, and Alerts written next to the icons]

for the friends tab, they could prolly add friend requests at the top like they do for baldwin alerts, then have an online status thing for friends below with buttons to PM, trade, delete friend, etc. I think you’re already able to disable the online status thing with page visibility? but like, make those options separate if you dont wanna block off your entire page, but dont want to be seen online.

For mobile, they can just make the icons bigger.

then. i THINK. last thing on laptop site. 

[ID: A screenshot of Flight Rising’s Social Media links with old Logos to YouTube, Tumblr, Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, and DeviantArt]

update these fucking icons they are personally killing me, none of these logos are in use anymore (ALSO UPDATE THE TUMBLR THEME JESUS CHRIST)

ok now for mobile. what this post was originally for.

-

as you all know, if you visit this site on mobile, there is literally no form of a mobile version for it. It is just a condensed version of the computer version of the site which is...Very Bad! 

Most of a sites visitors are going to be through mobile, i forget the exact percentage, but like it’s almost a given that people more readily have their phones with them than their laptop or tablet (which. im not going to bother with the tablet version, you can apply both computer and mobile criticisms to the site). in fact a lot of my time on FR is through mobile since I’m not at home 24/7 and I don’t tote my laptop around. Playing this game through it’s mobile site is Not Fun! 

I like, won’t be too pissy or anything bc like. it’s a petsite and I’m making this post for fun. but also like it was made in 2014? 2013? so I’m not going to be u kno. angry. but it nearing the point of ten years with this site and there still isn’t a mobile friendly version. that is lazy. If anything, if they wanted a site update to be the anniversary thing, they should’ve made that update be

Mobile update as primary thing, because designing the site for mobile is a shit ton of work with the amt of pages they have to work through.

Dragon Profile page update (*LOUD SIGH*)

Clan page update

Hoard update (i have thoughts on this too but i wont dive into it this post)

Purchase Gems page update

Dev Tracker update

Forums update

“but that’s a lot to update” well. that wouldve made the anniversary being a website update considerably more worth it, because in my opinion having the dragon profile pages be the ONLY thing to happen during the anniversary was a waste and a bad decision, because other website updates are just. normal whatever updates. it made the anniversary SUPER underwhelming especially bc the past ones (to my knowledge) have only been major game mechanic updates like the eye & ancients update and i believe? the color wheel expansion was an anniversary thing? someone can correct me on that I haven’t played this game as long as most LMAO

as for how i personally would situate the mobile site. shitty graphic time, bc im not putting too much effort into this (warning this will be LONG)

[ID: Image 1. A crudely put together screenshot of the top half of a Mobile View of Flight Rising with comments on either side. It ends with the Latest News segments “Riot of Rot” and “Hoard & Vault Revamp”

Comment 1, Left side: “no banner make it a solid color that matches the burger menu. size the logo correctly etc. Comment 2, Right side: “burger menu w ONLY the categories, goes to the homepages of the categories” Comment 3, Right side: “TWO latest news posts, maybe a button to go see earlier news (which may b something to add to comp too)” Comment 4, Right side: “center dates and comments maybe idfk”

At the bottom of the image there is an added “button” that says “more updates button”]

[ID: Image 2. The bottom half of the mobile view with comments on the left side. There is a put together white box that has the Plague Flight Logo and “plage dom !” written in it. Below it are the Site Status, Random Dragon, and Exalt Bonuses boxes from the site. Underneath that is a red box with “ad space” in the center, with a red footer at the bottom.

The footer contains, “social media! (specifally made icons for site)”, “better formatted links”, and “copyright”.

Comment 1: “idk what they would caption it but the flashy can go here.” Comment 2: “ONE site status update if they keep this format” Comment 3: “probably center these links. i dont know what they use to build the site but im sure you can make icons for social media on just about anything unless this is all handcoded. just. make small icons it takes two seconds and you can copy+paste”]

i dont even want to THINK about how the lair and all that would look on mobile, it was a chore doing the home page alone SOBS

anyways, in ref to these images though--

this is just slapped together and definitely wouldn’t be a final draft, it could use some tweaking

the flashy i refer to is the box that’s above the user box that says what flight is in dom, what festival is going on, etc.

when i mention building the site and “you can make icons for social media on just about anything” im referring to wordpress, wix, whatever is used to format the site. I really only have experience with wordpress thru elementor and divi (so far) so im not CERTAIN about other places but I feel it would be pretty common to have that tool. if not, making icons (or snatching some) is rlly not that hard, probably only costly depending on what their webdesigner(s) charge for icons

I’m not like certain on who does what, how the webdesigner(s) work with/price this site, etc. etc. this is just. going off of my own knowledge. and in general this whole post is my own knowledge abt shit i did no further research to FRs team specifically 

i think this is basically it, i’ll reblog with more if i think of anything, but feel free to add things yourself or in general discuss things. again this post was made for fun so im not taking it seriously or demanding for these changes to be made, just personal annoyances and preferences.

This is also my first time doing picture IDs for a post so if I need to correct anything or the like let me know and I’ll edit it in the post!