#and acts like he's being fucking gaslit - because he is

[greensaplinggrace]

im going insane btw jon was literally right. tim's so angry at him for how he acted paranoid out of his mind and like. i get it. but jon was right. sasha was a doppleganger!! his boss is a manipulative cunt that is trying to end the world! people are quite literally out to fucking get him!! like tim i get it i get it but are you aware of the genre you're in im alskdjflk

[notanotherblorbo]

I love my best friend. So much. I hate her brother. So much.

[19burstraat]

ketterdam dashboard simulator

goedmedbridge420

who up boeking they canal

10,345 notes

drydens follow

I can't believe some of you log on here and thirstpost about barrel vagrants. it makes me so sick. these men are the very pits of society and have never honoured ghezen a day in their lives. there are so many other young men who make their living in a reverent way. have some dignity.

#ghezen #inghezenssight #ghezenhonouring #churchofghezen #handofghezen

2 notes

kooperomno1fan

lionsroar12 follow

omg HOW is kaz brekker winning this he's SO problematic he's not even good for the economy he killed members of his own gang and kidnapped councilman van eck's son

dregsundrained

cranky coz your gang fell apart aren't you

17,860 notes

oskervoexchange follow

guys is this a mandela effect or what bc I SWEAR this painting used to be in the university district art museum, I literally saw it this week??? but I went today and it was GONE?????? there wasn't even a plaque?? guys pls I'm so confused why is everyone acting like this is normal for ketterdam? do priceless antiques just VANISH? am I being gaslit?

450 notes

stadhall-clerking

guys I'm so sorry I've been MIA :( I found out that my landlord was using my rent on the staves rather than fixing my black mould problem so I pushed him out the window and told the stadwatch he must have fallen and died because he wasn't honouring ghezen and got away with it. anyway I think maybe the black mould explains the dirtyhands/sturmhond fic I was writing sorry :( but I WILL finish my fairy queen of istamere meta post once I've moved into my new lodging

670 notes

dregsconfessions follow

SUBMISSION: sometimes I lie awake thinking about the time I fell down an entire flight of stairs at the slat when kaz was at the bottom, and he just stared at me (still lying on the floor), and then asked if I'd changed the beer kegs at the silver six yet. GIRL NO?!?!?!

#submission #dregs #dirtyhands #admin comment: laughed so loud my upstairs neighbour threatened to shoot me

546 notes

dregsconfessions follow

ADMIN NOTE: if the razorgulls don't fucking stop sending anon hate to this blog we'll tell dirtyhands n he'll send you your own IP address back

#see what happens you hack job seagulls

500 notes

kerchtourismboard

it's us, the real kerch tourism board, here to tell you what we're putting in the new summer season pamphlet. we got 1) three pages all about kaz brekker that end up being more of an advertisement than a deterrent 2) list of slipperiest spots in the barrel where you will fall over and get a concussion when ur drunk 3) top 10 ways to get your wallet stolen by a child in broad daylight 4) paintings of the komedie brute 5) advert for sten's stockpot 6) map of public toilets

570 notes

kerchtourismboardreal follow

we are not affiliated with any degenerate impersonator accounts who claim to be us. we are the only real kerch tourism account.

23 notes

kerchtourismboard-real follow

grafcanal smells like piss and you should bite everyone you see wearing the mister crimson costume

450 notes

stensstockpot follow

it's all 'fuck sten's stockpot' and 'I got food poisoning from the special at sten's stockpot' until you realise you don't have the money for cilla's fry, and then you come CRAWLING back to the loving arms of sten's stockpot and our special. you fucking traitors. you'll be back! you'll all be back

canaljumpings follow

what's in the special sten's stockpot

stensstockpot follow

it's a surprise ;)

bertskerch follow

nah I thought this was the real stens lmao

stensstockpot follow

bert smit you still have 45 kruge to pay on your tab and if you don't cough up we'll send our debtors to break your legs

230 notes

exchangingbabey follow

my grisha girlfriend who still wears a kefta and says things like 'nikolai lantsov is a bastard': ugh they're still debating whether or not the council of tides should be able to control kerch shipping, I hate inter-country politics

me: I think I hauve the queen's lady

4500 notes

(insp) (insp)

[nottsangel]

i have some lorenzo thoughts (one of many) ‼️‼️

there’s something about lorenzo feeling very conflicted about his feelings once he realized that he somehow fell in love with you. i think those are feelings he‘s not really used to because he never allowed himself to fall in love with anyone tbh. he wants to prevent himself from getting hurt maybe? he was always just interested in having sex and nothing more. but now? maybe he‘s scared about his feelings since he doesn’t know how to act now :( it‘s something he needs to figure out

this is so him. he usually only cares about sex, and saw you as nothing more than just one of his fuck buddies he’d call when he got bored or just needed a distraction. and even though his friends would get into relationships, lorenzo was never like that. he was the friend that just fucked around and never understood the point of being in a relationship when he could have many girls at once, without any strings attached. so the moment he realised that he had feelings for you, he freaked the fuck out. he didn’t know what to do, how to act, what to say. so at first, he was in the denial stage. he oh so desperately tried to suppress his feelings, and gaslit himself into thinking that he only liked you because the sex was just, really fucking good. but after a while, he couldn’t ignore the way his face would light up whenever you walked into the room, and the emptiness he felt when you left again right after the sex, because that was the arrangement— the arrangement that he came up with. but fuck, he wished you would stay. he wished you would curl up next to him in bed, with his arms wrapped tightly around your body. he wanted nothing more than to make you his. but it was hard. it was new. and poor lorenzo just doesn’t know what to do :(

ੈ♡˳

[toomanyfandomstowrite]

I hate to say this, but the coffee theory is inherently bad and completely undermines the entire season of progression we’ve been seeing with Aziraphale.

The coffee theory completely robs his decision of agency and accountability - it gives him an easy out and thus gives the next season an easy conclusion. And I’m sorry, but Neil just Would Not write that.

He wouldn’t make it so simple and easy and, I know this sounds harsh, POORLY WRITTEN.

Aziraphale has spent thousands of years desperately clinging to the idea that Heaven is inherently good, that serving Heaven as an Angel is inherently good. He’s spent thousands of years being gaslit and undermined and tricking himself into honestly believing that Heaven isn’t broken, it can still be fixed, the system still works if HE just helped it.

That’s all Metatron did. He dug those seeds back up. He put it back in Aziraphale’s head that it’s not Heaven who’s bad, it’s not the system that’s broken, it just needs someone better at the helm! Someone like Aziraphale!

The coffee didn’t brainwash him. The coffee was just a simple act of manipulation from someone who’s been doing the same thing for thousands of years.

‘I know you. I understand you. I’m proud of you. I want you to be the leader of Heaven. Here’s a coffee.’

And Aziraphale went with it. Because it’s all he’s ever known.

If the coffee theory is true, then all of this characterization is GONE. All of the tension and pain in his decision is GONE. Any hope of Aziraphale having a satisfying character arc in season three is GONE. Because if the coffee theory is true, then Aziraphale is Stuck. His character is trapped in a place with no room to grow, to learn, to change.

If the coffee theory is true, then Aziraphale won’t even be able to apologize to Crowley for making the wrong choice.

And that, as a potential culmination of their relationship, is SO fucking sad.

Aziraphale deserves better. Because he’s a complicated, flawed, and deeply traumatized person. And now he needs to make the wrong choice. He needs to make that wrong choice, and hurt the person he loves most, because that is the ONLY way he can grow. It is the ONLY way he can break free of the bonds that Heaven’s broken system have put on him. Like Gabriel did.

Aziraphale needs to have wanted that coffee.

Because without that, then no lessons are learned. No resolution is earned.

And Aziraphale AND Crowley deserve so much better than that.

[rayshippouuchiha]

Had a Thought™ about KHR. (excuse spelling mistakes because I WILL be making them)

So the giglio Nero family canonically has the strongest skies right? Like this matrilineal family of Skies has, as far as we know, always held the strongest skies in existence. It doesn't matter who they have a kid with, their first kid is 1) always a girl (far as we know) 2) an insanely strong sky 3) has some type of foresight.

So my thought (story idea/premise IG). Nana is descended from this family in some probably convoluted distant way. This could explain her space cadet behavior. She is LITERALLY not mentally present in the, well present. But she's enough removed from the family line that what she's seeing is probably really confusing and has little resemblance to reality. Also, let's be honest, if you're seeing visions of an alternate or possible future existence and aren't aware what that is about? You probably think there's something wrong with you. To the point you probably instinctively disregard A LOT of things that would be odd or concerning because well, they don't make sense so are probably made up. (Nana basically taking masking to the extreme meaning she doesn't notice/pay attention to the Flame and Mafia stuff because nobody else around her notices/talks about it. So it's probably Not Real)

And then she meets Iemeitsu. Who let's be honest, also has something DEEPLY wrong with him. ( A sky with no guardians? When that's what they DO?! Something is wrong with him on a literal soul deep level.) But he just acts like a mildly eccentric goofy guy, who otherwise is Normal™. So Nana gets attached to him, because she sees something similar in him. And she ignores anything pretty obviously WRONG because well, it's not REAL is it? She's just seeing things again. Plus of course Iemeitsu can't act Normal™ all the time, SHE struggles with that and that's something else she feels they have in common. (Very much modeling the fact that neurodivergent people tend to gravitate towards each other, and ignore stuff that's 'not normal', because for them normal isn't a thing that exists.)

And then they have Tsuna. An insanely powerful Sky child (I think there's mention of him possibly being the future sky acrobaleno at some point? Might just be fanon tho) who from a pretty young age has Hyper-Intuition.

Nana probably assumes her son has inherited her problems regarding seeing non-existent things. She probably ignores the general weirdness of Iemeitsu bringing his boss home and her son changing entirely after the visit, because she can't figure out a logical reason for Tsuna to change, so OBVIOUSLY there can't be anything wrong there, he's just going through a growth spurt!

Tsuna gets bullied in school? Well, so did Nana growing up. The fact the teachers are in on it? Not outside her perception of reality, because that's just how people treat those who are different, who can't 'Act Normal ™'. The problem of course here is that this behavior was Normal™. She was gaslit into believing this was expected and tacitly encouraged by society.

But, there's that little part that's still a mother, and doesn't understand WHY people act like this, and SURELY it's NOT Normal™ for people to treat her son like this!? It can't be reality! Right?! So obviously it's something ELSE her brain is making up, so something she should ignore entirely!

It would take ..... A LOT to have her come to terms with the fact that all that stuff she was convinced wasn't really happening, and just something else her brain was lying to her about, is actually reality. She's closed herself into a teeny tiny box of what she considers reality and anything outside of that obviously ISN'T.

ohoho now this is an interesting take on Nana that I've never seen before and it's so fucking cool

[fqiryspit]

𝐮𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 - 𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧,𝐣

cw: angst, toxic eren, manipulation, gaslighting yourself and being gaslit, emotional cheating etc etc.

you stood in the empty street with the wind digging into your skin every so often. you sniffed dryly before opening the car door and sliding yourself in. the walk to the car felt like forever, but you're so so glad you're on your way home

"well, that was fun" eren grinned, starting the car as the heat bursts through the vehicle and you feel yourself almost sinking into the seat, eyes staring into the dashboard no matter how hard you tried to move them. I just want to go home

you're just so...confused. was that a joke? those whole 3 hours just to mess with you?

you're probably being dramatic, I mean, eren seems fine...but that's what's confusing you even more. when you were standing outside that car you were hoping, praying that once you entered he'd talk about how weird it was for her to act like that.

right when he walked into this...chill friendly get together he was met with a half-naked mikasa who hugged him so tightly his face would turn blue

whatever. you even brushed off the look she gave you afterward. you can't explain it, that's the worse part, it makes you seem dramatic and most certainly crazy

you feel yourself leaning forward and you snap out of it, realizing you're at a stop light and you don't have your seatbelt on. reaching over you snap the strap on and lean back once more.

he taps on the wheel impatiently, letting air escape his lips casually as his features glow from red to green and you're off again

looking at the road ahead you read license plates until you're able to even tap back into what happened with a little more confidence you're being dramatic

a skirt and a v-neck tank top that's waaay too small for her. that's what she was wearing when she was sitting on erens lap. they made it look so normal, and everyone was fine with it, your eyes wandered around but everyone was just talking like regular

you sunk back into the couch and watch as she almost bounced with laughter on top of him. you watched it happen like it was normal this time around because...you guess it is...no one really cared last time...maybe this is normal

your eyes looked over to armin who is staring at you, almost in a "are you getting this?" sort of way, your previously neutral face slightly dropped with a realization that...ok, so, other people find this weird

this is weird.

armins jaw tightens with your confirmation that you aren't okay with this and him feeling overwhelmingly uncomfortable but...what are you gonna do?

you're glad that it's a long home drive, you realize once you go at a stop sign. you don't feel like climbing into bed with him right now, you don't feel like pretending that...that didn't just happen. you feel gross, so gross you're even in this relationship at this moment. you wanna go home, actually home.

you put your knees to your chest as you stare out the window, knowing that it's gonna come no matter what. you wish you can go back to an age when you fantasized about relationships. where they were magical instead of weird and gross.

you think back to how they kept whispering things to each other like they were being so sly, you swear you even saw her press her lips on his ear slightly

"uhm"

fuck, that was weird. your voice cracked from the unexpected and unprepared voice coming from your throat

"mm?" he hummed back, you were hoping he didn't hear you, but, whatever. you're honestly mad, that was weird and you should tell him

"so...what was mikasa all about?" you cringed at your voice deepening to sound casual, that confidence slipped a little once you started, especially when his brows twitched down, confused as ever.

"what do you mean?"

"I mean-" ok...now you have to prove your point. but what do you have to prove? an outfit and a look? whispering and sitting placements?

you kinda hope he'd take it for you, like "oh you mean ----" and just agree that it was weird...but like...was that weird? are you being dramatic?

"uhm...I don't know..just kinda got some vibes from her" you heard him snort at your weak argument

"if this is about her outfit, yeah, she dresses like a slut a lot...I think it's mostly for jean though"

you almost felt a tingle spring up in your spine at him saying that like that entire thing was nothing, the whispering back and forth made them seem very close...he's just gonna say that like nothing? so then that means you were right, he does agree and that was weird.

"oh, so was she doing that whole thing to get a rise out of him or something?" you said, unfolding your legs and turning to him

"what whole thing?" he sighs out like he's annoyed and you feel yourself picking your legs right back up

"like...I don't know...the whispering and huggin-"

"hugging? y/n, if I knew you'd get all upset over me hugging a girl I would've left you at home" he scoffs, you didn't mean to add hugging to the list, you were just grabbing things from your brain in a panic that you're being insane and accidentally made your argument weak

or was it already weak? was this just one huge misunderstanding and an overreaction from you?

"what makes you think that way?" it was an honest question but the way he spat it out made you shrivel into yourself, you're not usually this...meek. you can't believe this is even happening right now.

"I mean, armin looked at me, and he-" "armin looked at you? should I start pouting next?"

you felt like your ears were ringing and your eyes burned but you'd rather die than let them fall

"it just seemed like he agreed that her sitting on your lap was weird." you said, voice louder to match his.

"dammit y/n I can't deal with this childish shit of 'you touched another girl' can you be for real right now?" he said it with such honesty you felt an "I'm sorry" at your tongue already, but you knew there was a reason you were mad, it's just right now it seems so small and like you're being unreasonable

but you're not like that, you know you're angry so you go back to try and find why but when you look back it just seems...normal

"look, we're here, I just wanna go to bed, can you do that?" he says, shutting off the car and having his fingers glide through his hair

"yeah.."

"k."

an: heyyyy shawtyyyy, sorry if it's boring, I just wanted to make smth like this <33

[verosikastrikerstellaexcuser]

This episode holy hell is it just so mixed to me.

On the one hand, the concept of Verosika having a party to comfort others hurt by Blitz is whacky in that fun Helluva S1 way but also is really sweet. She is such a fun cool likable character, her little tail waggle while cutting the cake and her expressions all of it kills me. I love her so bad shes excellent. I'm so glad she wasn't just a bitch and is shown to have a caring side in such a unique way; shes vindictive but not only for her own sake. Thats so fun and cool!

Blitz apologizing to the exes hes genuinely wronged is great too, even if the amount of people at the party feels a bit crazy/OTT, I liked that his "We're all shit we're in hell who cares how I act!" stuff was shut down. Pushing others away all the time and constantly justifying shitty behaviors is shown as no way to live, as harmful to both others and oneself, and its shown in a fun way.

On the other hand, Shitlas fucking ruins it all and taints it. You have this funny premise and Verosika being cool but then Shitlas is portrayed as just another ex hurt by Blitz, which would be fine if he was. But he's not. He's a sexually extorting, sexually harassing, child neglecting asshole who was MORE in the wrong than Blitz ever fucking was by a landslide. The whole episode is just us the audience being lied to about S1 and Blitz being gaslit about his past treatment at the hands of Shitlas. It takes a premise that was good and turns it into twisted Blitz torture porn; him feeling fucked in the head and behaving weirdly after developing an unhealthy relationship towards sex and what he has with Shitlas after being sexually extorted for months = him being an asshole. Him not sweeping Shitlas off his feet and coddling his need for a romantic partner after Shitlas has harassed the everloving fuck out of him and set up a sexual exchange he didn't want is "another example of Blitz fucking a relationship up". Just WTH.

This episode should have been just about Verosika and Blitz. NOT that owl. Can you imagine how much more meaningful it would be if Blitz had found out about the party and decided to go on his own to make things right with her?

This episode also proves the whole "They BOTH fucked up!" thing was a fat fucking lie. Because this episode puts it all on ONLY Blitz to apologize for everything. Shitlas' wrongs and need to also apologize be damned I guess! Every day he is portrayed more and more like a sad little wooby baby, a teen, and not a grown man and father. And he is a weak, boring, nasty feeling character because of it. I'm tired of being lied to about what he really is, it feels so gross.

I am just so tired of this show only calling out Blitz, and never really its other main characters (since Stolas is arguably now a side protag even higher than Loon Mox and Mil which is ridiculous). Its now the Blitz torture porn show and I'm so sick of it. Blitz can be in the wrong because his angst is delicious, while every other main character must be woobied and coddled, and anyone who opposes them is a stinky mean.

[bullet-prooflove]

Hi could you pls do prompt 2 “fucked on the bathroom sink” with Tim Bradford. Thanks

Companion piece to Monster

It’s at The Gaslite that Tim catches up with you. It’s a dive bar in Santa Monica so far from your usual stomping ground that there’s no chance anyone in your previous life will run into you. You’ve cut your hair since he last laid eyes on you, dyed it a different colour. It suits you; he thinks as he sits at the end of the bar and watches from afar.

It’s been over a month since you took a leave of absence from your job as a detective, since you packed up your things one night and disappeared like a ghost. It gives him flashbacks to when Isabel vanished, to coming home to an empty house, most of his valuables missing because she had pawned them for dope.

He knows this time it’s different.

That the appearance of their new Captain has forced you to run, because your ex-husband, he’s determined you won’t escape him again.

When your eyes meet across the bar, he knows that your feelings haven’t changed. You’re still as in love with him as he is with you. Neither of you speak when you approach him. He doesn’t know what to say and you don’t have any words left. So instead, he kisses you, his thumb chasing over the line of your jaw as you moan into his mouth. You taste of lime, the sweet citrus tang blossoming on his tongue as his fingers thread through your hair.

Tim barely registers that you’ve made it into the bathroom. All he can think about is how good it feels to have you back in his arms again, to be able to touch you, to kiss you. There’s an urgency in your motions, a desperation because this right now it feels like it’s the end and Tim can’t stand the thought of it.

You look beautiful, your skirt hitched up your thighs as he guides himself inside of you. His mouth covers yours, stifling the moan that emits from your throat as he enters you.

God, you feel like heaven, so fucking perfect on his cock. He thinks he’s going to combust but then you start to move and honestly, he falls apart because this connection, he’s never had it with another person before.

He doesn’t last long and neither do you. Everything is heightened, the physicality of the act, the emotional component. When he comes, he looks into your eyes, and he sees his entire world. His forehead comes to rest upon yours and he feels that agony rising up in his chest because he knows that to keep you safe, he has to walk away but every single fibre of his being rebels against it.

“I love you.” He whispers, his voice breaking just a little. “Please just remember that.”

“I will.” You promise, his thumb brushing away the tear that leaks down your cheek. “I will.”

@malindacath @anime-weeb-4-life @burningpeachpuppy @viridianphtalo @kmc1989

[daisylark]

Hey, this is kinda gonna be a rant so if you're not in the mood for that feel free to delete.

I saw your post -

https://www.tumblr.com/daisylark/741324260680794112/man-takes-a-womans-spot-in-a-womens-shelter-and?source=share

- and it hit me a certain way. Yes, I understand that this man is making it up, it's a fantasy. But I am a woman who has actually experienced living in a homeless shelter with a man, and it got to me.

I was 19 at the time, this was about six years ago. Literally the first thing he said to me when I walked in was that he still had his dick. (He phrased it as being intact and not having had bottom surgery.) I had no idea what he was talking about. at the time I was unfamiliar with trans ideology. Frantically googling to figure out what was happening was how I originally found radfems, bc they were the only people calling this shit out.

I could go on, but the thing that really gets me is that this experience was six or seven years ago, right. I'm in a better, more stable place in life, and have been seeking therapy for several years now. And the worst thing is THAT EXPERIENCE SPECIFICALLY has been a consistent impediment to getting to help.

Because even when I find a therapist, which is harder than you'd think, and do intake, which is exhausting and damaging every time, etc etc etc, so far no one can handle the specific trauma that I have from seeking shelter when I was at my most vulnerable and being gaslit and forced to cohabit with a man by the ppl who should have protected me.

And because my story is such a hot button issue, everyone kind of blue screens when they hear about it. Y'know? It's a little much to believe, in the current political climate, if you're trying to be a good progressive or whatever, that a 6ft pwecious wittle twans woman would act like that in a woman's homeless shelter. He was in his 40s btw. Ppl don't want to engage with it. They want me to be quiet. They've already decided I'm exaggerating.

The last therapist I had I started talking about this experience and the way it damaged my trust in institutions and so on, and the therapist interrupted to be confused, called him "they," and was asking about how he identified. I can be sitting right in front of someone I've known for months and the moment a man is brought up his hypothetical feelings take precedence over me.

So I understand that the reddit post is made up. But I saw it and I had to say, this shit fucking happens. It happens and it's real. The fawning over him doesn't happen quite like that, but in my experience, if a man is admitted to a woman's shelter his needs are already being prioritized and that is unlikely to change. I hate these men - the ones who go to the shelters, the ones who fantasize about it, the ones who support it. I won't forgive anyone who supports it.

Thank you for hearing me out.

Thank you so much for sharing this. I am so sorry that this happened to you. These are exactly the kind of things that we are afraid of. These are the things that people insist never happen, but they do.

These kind of things were the main things that peaked me. That a man's feelings would matter more than a woman's physical safety. It's horrifying.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Ok I feel like Azula would be more willing to turn on Ozai and trust Enji in this au. Because she knows the political game. She knows what Ozai intended for Azula to do when he 'assigned' her here. It at least sours her opinion of Ozai, because Ozai used her as a bargaining chip. She's of course so fucking happy when Enji instead treats her kindly. Internally of course, but now the tensions are high. The entire palace knows why Ozai sent his daughter to the spirit.

Zuko, Mai, and Ty Lee were 100% willing to kill the spirit if he hurt Azula tho. They thank Agni that the spirit is kind and actually encouraging Azula. He even treats them kindly! Mai can never get Tom-tom to stay still until he finds a liking in Enji's piggyback rides. He praises Zuko's sword skills and acts as a sparring partner to everyone. Enji is scared of Ty Lee, and she finds that hilarious( and likes being treated seriously for once). To Enji her chi blocking felt like erasure and he ain't messing with that. Everyone actually likes and hesitantly trusts the spirit. So when he brings up genuine concerns about Ozai both as parent and as a ruler? They listen.

OH YEAH NO LIKE

First off, love how we agree that there was creepy intentions in the idea of Ozai going 'ah yes hand my daughter over as an attendant/'sacrifice' to the Spirit'. Which came both from the whole 'the last time this happened to Enji he got a wife' but /also/ there was actually a scrapped plotline in ATLA where Azula was going to have an arranged marriage. So it's not like it's out of character.

I think Azula isn't so much upset at Ozai for using her as a pawn. She knows exactly what he's like after all. But also. It's.

I've talked on this before in a lot of my atla aus and such. But most of Azula's actions are motivated from her fear of Ozai. He has her convinced that, should she ever fail to meet his expectations, he can destroy her. After all, look at Zuko. Scarred and banished and sent on an impossible quest and eventually hunted down.

And in some ways, he's right. Ozai is Fire Lord. If Azula were to fail him, or Spirits forbid if she ever betrayed him, he'd have the entire Fire Nation at his disposal to hunt her down. And while I, personally, think that Azula could take Ozai in a 1v1 fight, he's manipulated and gaslit her into thinking that he'd win the battle outright.

So unless Azula is sure that she'd be safe from him, she's going to stay loyal to Ozai. Do everything he wants. And if she does make a mistake, she shifts the blame so someone else gets punished.

And within this 'Enji gets tossed in' concept, he can protect her from Ozai. Like obviously Enji can take Ozai in a 1v1 fight. But also! Because most people are under the impression that Enji is a Spirit, if the literal Fire Spirit shows up and says 'Hey your Fire Lord has bad vibes I think you should kick him out', they're going to listen.

Especially if Azula helps fuel the flames, so to speak, by giving Enji some inside info on how Ozai isn't actually the rightful leader of the Fire Nation.

Also yeah everyone is terrified of Ty Lee and her abilities. (Enji may look into that Chi Blocking thing because goddamn he doesn't /like/ it being used on him but it'd be useful when he gets back home)

[nova-alien-rants]

trying to finally heal my NPD and dealing with the damage it's caused is so fucking devastating

uhh if you demonize narcs please get off my blog before i launch you into the sun uhh this post is kinda long

it just... it hurts so bad dude. and i feel like my BPD makes it even worse because every time i'm confronted with the reality that i've fucked up those around me so badly, i can end up spiraling into thinking i'm the worst person ever, i deserve to die, i ruin everything, there's no hope for me, etc. it's so awful. i genuinely hate how much i've hurt those in my life.

examples:

i've gaslit my gf to the point where she still feels like SHE'S the problem, even though it's literally been me all along. she kept trying to help me and i villainized her the whole time. i'm disgusted with how i acted. my eyes have been opened and i no longer act the way i did, but the damage has been done and i can't help but cry because of how much i've hurt her these past several years.

my friend became used to me making backhanded jabs and even passive aggressive remarks because i always felt threatened by him. i stopped being mean to him like that, but because he was used to that dynamic with me, he kept up with his own vindictiveness and made me feel terrible that i trained him to do that in the first place. he doesn't do it with anyone else.

i've lost many friends and gotten into baseless arguments simply because i was acting like a giant asshole under the delusion that THEY were the assholes, not me. even though they literally did not do anything. my own ego was wounded and that wasn't their fault. i was such a fool for destroying those relationships.

i feel so fucking despondent so much of the time now, and i keep flip flopping between "there's hope for me and i can help reduce the stigma of NPD" and "i am the worst person ever, i'm a horrible monster who just hurts people, there's no getting better for me." my emotions are so intense. either they're everywhere, or they're nowhere. i also feel so much grief. i could have had amazing relationships with amazing people around me, and to an extent i do now! but so much of the lives of myself and others have been absolutely ravaged by my own self obsession and vindictiveness, and i can't help but wonder what things would be like if i weren't the way i am. honestly i'm so ashamed of myself for letting things get to this point.

whenever i would do research on NPD, i would wonder like... why do people not know they have this condition? how could they possibly not know when it fucks up their lives so bad? i knew about my BPD and OCPD before i even knew what those conditions were called, and those are also ego-syntonic personality disorders! so i was REALLY thrown a curveball when i was told i'm a narc. it felt like my world shattered and i simultaneously could see clearer, but also felt so much shame and sadness. and other things, but i don't even know what in specific. bad things. it seriously changed how i viewed myself and everyone and everything in this world around me.

i remember i would always tell myself i would never end up like my parents, both of whom are narcissists. they were and still are the worst abusers out of all the abusers i've ever had in my life. so when i found out i was a narc, too, i felt disgusted not only because it explained so much of my life, but also because it meant my worst fear had come true. i associate narcissism with my parents. i'd be lying if i were to say i didn't have my own internalized ableism about NPD due to them. at the same time though, i get distressed from sharing physical features with them too, so it's hard to really say. it just sucks all around.

i feel like some kind of evil monster crying crocodile tears upon finally having it click that they actually are, indeed, some kind of evil monster. i've hurt so many people so badly and i was totally blind to it. COMPLETELY. to the point i genuinely believed THEY were the ones hurting ME. sometimes i'm so consumed with shame i literally never want to show my face to anyone ever again. i want to run away and start a new life where no one knows who i am or what my past was like. but alas, such is not feasible, so i am stuck dealing with the consequences of my actions. and accept them i will, of course, because it's the grave i dug for myself, but fuck, man. this feels so awful. i feel so awful.

[artofchira]

Chira can you share all your Hamlet thoughts/feelings/hot takes/headcanons because it's also my favourite and I love hearing what people have to say about it. It's one of the things I can't shut up about. Could talk for hours!!!!!

Here I will copy/paste straight out of discord the last time I went off about my opinions on Hamlet to a friend:

I have no idea how Hamlet makes sense to people if he wasn't young (16-17, 21 tops), because everything he's about is this kid who is incredibly overwhelmed with the knowledge that his father has been murdered but he also has literally fucking no one to grieve that with, because he can't trust anyone. And it's not as simple as accusing his uncle, no one would believe it, least of all his mother.

So of course he gets it in his head that the only real vindication and closure he can get is to somehow force people to see the truth for themselves and believe it as a way of finding some kind of freedom from his burden. And he's a little too smart for his own good because he manages to get by with being completely irony poisoned and making sure no one gets a clear read on him, but at the same time he gets so irony poisoned that people either credit him with being a 9D chess master or losing insincerity to himself.

like, I remember early on that love letter he sends Ophelia that everyone remembers -- Doubt that the stars are fire, etc etc

That one.

Out of context it sounds extremely romantic, but in context the scene is Ophelia's dad is reading out the entirety of Hamlet's letter to Ophelia to his uncle and like half the court, and they're all bagging on him for being so bad at poetry. And hell Hamlet drops the rhapsodizing halfway through the letter to go "yeah yeah I know I'm bad at it but don't think for a second I don't love you all right? you're the most important person to me"

and if I remember correctly he slips in a line where's like, no matter what happens don't ever think I don't

So later on when Ophelia's dead and Hamlet's told about it and all his friends are like "come on why are you pretending you care, you were never there and you bullied her" and Hamlet loses his shit in this big monologue about how he loved her with the strength of a thousand suns and whatnot

But by then it's supposed to be like, who are you trying to convince, them or yourself?

And I think that on its own is pretty dense interpretation, but I personally would go so far to say leaving it there still assumes that Hamlet was insincere to begin with, or lost his sincerity because people look back on that letter to Ophelia like

he was writing it to Ophelia

so her dad would read it

so then his uncle would hear it

and they'd all believe some other bait trap on how to fool them

like some master chess move

when, like, no one actually considers the more obvious option:

That he was perfectly sincere in that letter, that he not at all expected Ophelia to give it to her father, and that he actually was just that bad at poetry (not fake being bad, actually bad) and trying to tell her to trust him through what's gonna be a real rough time and to not believe what he says to her when he's acting all weird to people

Which makes Ophelia failing to trust him and kill herself even sadder because Hamlet's rage monologue in response to it would kind of then look more like... Count of Monte Cristo's moment of realizing he fucking went too far and 'what have I done' thing in chasing his ambitions

Like, it involved a casualty of someone who wasn't supposed to be in the crossfire, but furthermore it happens to be the girl he adores and he's the one that kind of gaslit her into it.

That's more of a kid that's way in over his head and realized he fucked up, and makes more emotional sense than some guy trying to act like a whacky mastermind to me

that's basically it. Everyone looks at that letter being like "aha he was fake being bad at poetry to make everyone just think he's a morose teen with a crush" kind of thing but like…. being a teen with a crush is what he would be

I don't understand people treating hamlet like he doesn't have emotional consequences for himself instead of just being a depressive vengeance obsessive teenager spiralling out of control

that he's trying for something and fucking failing at it despite how smart he is at it

because he's a kid who feels alone and can't trust anyone with why he feels alone, and this is the best way he knows to get people to actually understand what he's dealing with

since everyone's like "what's wrong hamlet!!!" acting really worried and fussy over him being depressed and he won't fucking say

it just makes like… more reasonable sense as a human person to view it that way honestly, at least to me personally

[stormcrow513]

Hey been awhile,

Around a year ago I wrote a vent post about how the crappy neighbors were moving out and king fuckface decided to take one last crap on us,

He'd had some guy mow down all their weeds then he walked around spraying poison aka weed killer all over the whole property,

which do to dickery and bribes to town counsel might as well be planted in my backyard,

The only space I can let my dogs pee,

I am so fucking sensitive to poison I got sick, ma got sick all my dogs were sick,

Bailey my oldest beautiful girl looked like it was going to kill her,

I ranted on here poured my grief and hate out,

Some of y'all saw me sent love back to me and prayers for my Bae,

And she started kicking it she was recovering,

I updated y'all and you were glad to hear it,

one of you even dm'd me later to ask if she was still recovering and I'd been able to reply a happy positive,

Which is why I felt like I had to come on here and let you know

Bailey died today,

And to thank you again for those prayers

I got one more year with her,

She was so amazing she stole one of my mas stuffed bears after like a day with us and would suck on it, she then stole two more, and would not except any additional bears we tried to give her, nope those were here three she stole them herself,

I taught her to jump into my arms,

She watched me squint at the TV and then started squinting her eyes at me,

She would get pissed off if you called her a dog, she was not a dirty dog she was a fur person

I could go on forever,

She was a tough fucking bitch we had to put her down because she absolutely refused to go,

she was fighting death every step,

I'm sure Deaths down a few fingers dragging her across the rainbow bridge while she claws and screams every obscenity I ever taught her,

While I have you,

some of you might remember me talking about the three sibling cats I'd gotten as kittens how the brother Ares had passed in 2019 then Shy decided to go out on the same day as the queen as was Shy right little Drama Queen,

Then it was just Mittens and she started to go down hill was losing interest in food so we got her a kitty I named Circe,

Well Mittens spited herself back to health cause fuck you kitten, and managed kept going through to the beginning of this year and then she just couldn't go on, she curled up in the worst fucking spot so I had to frag her body out after feeling that she was gone,

Like I said absolutely a spiteful shit,

I miss her so much, she loved being held like a baby, she acted more like a dog then a cat, she liked to sit on my shoulder, I have a scar on my shoulder where she got a claw stuck in it one time,

and she loved it when I had long hair shed get up high behind me after I'd showered and comb my hair with her claws,

As I was showering off the pee and poop after cleaning up,

I thought about writing this and ending it here with some kinda sign off,

but as I sat there my mind turning with the sear bullshit that not just this week but my entire fucking life's been,

My brain turned and raged,

You know I love animals way more then I like humans, while I do feel love and empathy towards humanity there are days like today where it's a hard thing and an easy thing,

because I read about Neil Gaiman sexualy assaulting women yesterday which makes me so sick,

But the vet that put down Bailey was so fucking kind,

I joke to people that I was raised by dogs,

It's not really a joke,

My ma has been the only human to truly love me,

My sperm donor Dennis is an absolute abusive joke of a human being whose still fucking alive and I have to live with him

My oldest sister is dead and while I think she loved me a bit she never watched out for me

And my second sister beat me, raped me, gaslit me fucking constantly, the real deal not the way people incorrectly use that word, and almost killed me a lot,

Ma worked constantly, still does, she is only now (as I'm beginning to talk about things) finding out just how often I was left to my own supervision,

But Lady and Tramp

And yes we had two dogs named Lady (German shepherd) and Tramp (husky/wolf)

They, took care of me Tramp even more reared me like I was his own,

I tussled and played with their puppies, grew up beside them

Watched Lady die when I was 7,

Rusty one of their babies my big brother ma and I buried together when I was 5 After Dennis threw rat poison around the house to kill the mice and killed Rusty

I watched Corky die and then Trampy and Sammy and then Rusty and Sammy's boy Socks

They were my family

Every dog and cat I've had has been my family,

And thinking about them all today

Thinking about this world we're all living in,

Something I want to say

There is no overarching Justice

No grand moment where evil men or women are struck down by righteous gods

Maybe that shit happened or maybe they were stories I don't fucking know I wasn't alive back then I'm alive now

And now, there are no saviors

There is just me, just you

And the choices we make

Martin Luther King Jr said something about how the long arch of history bends towards justice,

But he and people like him bent it towards justice with their bare hands and their very lives,

All we have achieved for justice for equality have been done by mortal living hands

And we cannot fucking give up

Don't listen to those people telling you it's hopeless that the world is evil

The world is beautiful

The stars, the rainbows, the thunder and lightning, the frogs so small they can sit on a finger nail, the mountains, mouse, geese, the castles and pyramids the things our ancestors created, ect

Hell the bit of plastic and wires and weird rock you are reading this on, isn't that cool,

Yeah there's downsides to it we need to figure out how to do it better,

We need to figure out how to do it better.

All of it.

And we will,

because we always do.

So don't listen to the people that say to give up that it's to late,

Just because they've given up doesn't mean you have to

I'm hurting I'm going to hurt for the rest of my life,

But I would not take a minute of it back not a moment,

My life has been full of pain but also full of love,

I wanted to die for a time, a long time,

But there is so much in this world to love,

I want to live,

I want to keep falling in love over and over again,

In love with animals,

the ones I adopted into my family

ones a half a world away,

Fucking platypus the most animal to animal,

The rain every fucking time it hits my roof or my head,

I hope I'll get a chance to fall in love romantically one day but I'm ok if I don't there's so much else to love,

And I'm going to fight The Fight for the rest of my life because all these things I love are worth fighting for,

I'm not in a position right now to do the things I want to but,

I can do some things,

I can do ofwoodandbones lost dog spell to help strangers get their lost pets back, which I've successfully done more then once,

I collect cans and recycle

I pour stale water out on plants rather then down the drain,

I planted a bunch of plants in my backyard bees fucking love

I vote, I vote smart and don't throw my vote away for a false sense of moral superiority,

So

Find something to love to love it hard and do what you can to protect it,

Doesn't matter what,

Everything matters,

Love shit, protect it,

Don't give up,

To all y'all who are my allies in The Fight,

May the great Titan Witch light your way, may you find your path or make one, may you love and be loved, may your body be strong enough to hold your spirit

[wejustvibing]

have this unfiltered verbal diarrhea 🤗

after a night of careful reflection i still believe lewis was not a 100% at fault irrespective of whether he has taken the responsibility for it followed by apology world tour or not. but there are clearly bigger issues here that this social media facade is just not able to hide and that worries me.

the treatment they're giving lewis is just shocking and unacceptable given what he brings to the table. even if i put aside the megastar status (which i'm not sure i should, considering they never shy away from using it for securing the bag and engagement), he is still their leading driver in the championship. he has scored 60% of the team's points and the only pole so far, in an effort for P2 in wcc. he is closing in on 2nd in the wdc despite being in the 3rd or 4th fastest car. by that logic alone he should never be subjected to all these shenanigans.

no matter which way you slice it, lewis is always the one with the short end of the stick. he is always the scapegoat. he is always the one taken for granted. he is the one covering up the clear mismanagement. instead of getting full support from the team he is the one out there assuring team harmony to the media, apologizing for a racing incident which it shouldn't have been considering he was the one who trusted the team and his teammate with whatever the fuck that tire strategy was and was the one who got dnf'd.

i know he will be the bigger person just to protect his peace and with constant target on his back no matter what he does, because god forbid a black man expresses himself the way his white counterparts do. i'm not asking for the sassy LH back either. all i want them to do is be fair. it's this glaring disparity they need to be ashamed of and sort out as soon as possible. well they've stolen his words "we win and we lose together" they might as well act like it. we've seen clear examples of the tone they're setting for this, especially after the two dnfs.

and lewis said that's my role. i just want to know what he meant by that? role in what capacity? is he the team principal now and taking the fall for everything? or has he signed on to be the team's punching bag with the new contract? i'm not being dramatic when i say this. his teammate dnf'd through his own fault & lewis got the podium and got silent treatment in return instead of celebration but when he dnf'd after the teammate disregarded previously agreed upon strategy, he's again the one getting gaslit into apologizing in front of the world instead? there has to be a way to explain this.

and i'm ride or die for him. i believe he can and should and will do whatever necessary to protect his sanity. maybe he's in too deep with that kumbaya shit and damn, good for him. full support to that. the question remains — why must he? i refuse to move on from every little thing by saying oh he is a better person than me. oh the sport doesn't deserve him. oh he has matured. oh it's not that deep. and by the way, his teammate can own up to his mistakes and see clearly in mirrors when it's any of the other 18 drivers so those excuses don't work for me. and no, replacing the teammate or bringing back valtteri will not sort this out. it's for mercedes and toto to decide and prove to lewis if his faith in them is justified? they have created this and they must sort it out.

this is about basic respect as a human being that this sport and fans have NEVER granted him. it's sad to see his team do it too. this is about reciprocity. has the team or teammate apologized to him for the recent fuck ups? no! but he does something slightly wrong and they're parading him on social media, making him apologize on camera, weaponizing his magnanimity against him to act like they forgive all his fucks ups?? and i'm supposed to sit in silence about this?

[xamaxenta]

Marco a couple days later at his usual coffee shop. The back of his neck starts prickling he turns to look and there’s. There’s a guy. Dark hair, freckles, leather jacket. Beautiful eyes, Marco remembers the eyes. The rest of his face is beautiful too, and grinning warmly.

The guy comes over totally casual acting like a charming stranger like there’s nothing at all odd about this and he asks “hey, this seat taken?” And Marco stutters out “no” because he can’t believe this is happening.

The guy sits down next to him, orders himself a s’mores latte. Introduces himself as Ace. Strikes up a conversation. Marco could almost let himself be gaslit by it — his boys have been so careful up ‘til now, there’s no way they’d approach him in broad daylight in a coffee shop of all things, and well, lots of people have dark hair and freckles and wear leather jackets — but Ace’s shirt is unbuttoned most of the way, showing the smooth skin of his chest and his pretty collarbones. Showing Marco’s necklace where it rests on his skin.

Before he leaves, Ace reaches over and pulls Marco’s shirt down a little, casual as you please, and untucks the coral necklace from his shirt. Pulls it out so it’s visible. Says his goodbyes, cheerful and charming, and then just fucking leaves.

(Ace goes home giggling twirling his hair kicking his feet they had a coffee date it was so cute and Sabo who is acting planning how he’s going to psychologically torture Marco this week is like “lame”)

AAUAUAUFHTHHHGTGRISUSGFEKISDHH aHey HEYYYYY I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW CRAZY THIS MADE ME LAST NIGHT THAT I GENUINELY DID NOT SLEEP FOR FOUR HOURS BC I KEPT THINKING ABOUT ITTTTTR

FIRST PHYSICAL CONTACT BEING ACE!!! BECAUSE SABOS TOO CAREFUL TO BE SEEN NEAR MARCO BECAUSE HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT HE WILL DO IF HE GETS TO BE THAT CLOSE

Ace is in love with Marco at this point absolutely but his depth does not yet even hold a Candle to What Sabo Feels and Subsequently Wants To Do to Marco Newgate.

Stormy eyed beautiful smile even more beautiful features… aufhehrg i love beastial MAS where Ace and Sabo are ungodly attractive (Marco too but ofc he doesnt see it personally 💔) and they want to hunt the object of their affections down until its weak and lame limbed and bloody from the chase

And the fact Marco KNOWS who this is that theyre being so proactive now in broad day light giving him what he assumes is a legal name and not an alias

The smores latte… beneath the blood and viscera theres an adorable sweet tooth that Marco can identify with, he also has a weakness for smores and lattes with too much sugar that would leave his dentist in absolute shambles, he doesnt even bother thinking how do they know of course they know

And they know he knows

Ace flirting with him easy as he pleases, showing off the damned necklace dropped between his cleavage and showing just how far down the freckles go

Its a date! Marco isnt opposed to it, Ace was lovely and theyh had fun 🥰🥰

Sabo is absolutely beside himself bc he WANTS to go on a date with Marco (that doesnt end in him killing him.. if Ace can do it so can he !) hes furious bc Ace clearly had so much fun and hes not used to Ace straying from the script and having a jolly time with Marco alone!!! Gets all worked up about it bc now he has to DO Better