#and acknowledges his role in keeping her in that environment for longer than she ever should have been

[ohmygodshesinsane]

i know this is the we love evil women / jeff and callie are boring show but god something in me really broke. seeing jeff choose his daughter and finally understand the danger she’s been in and the cycle they’re caught in. the way he’s like ‘i’ve known you your whole life cals’ and gives everything up in an instant if it means protecting her. he doesn’t hate her for what she’s done. & their whole relationship this season has been so important to me and i really hope they can go somewhere safe. i mean this is yellowjackets so probably they’re going to get involved in more murder but. fuck man.

[remsmoonlight]

— title : calming the waters

— word count : 2.3 k words

— pairing : rick grimes x reader

— summary : the switch from surviving on the road to living in a cookie cut neighbourhood hasn’t been easy on anyone, especially the leader of your group, you leave it to yourself to remind him it’s not all on his shoulders

— warnings : only brief descriptions of blood and violence .. usual stuff for twd

note: only at the end did i realise i left the opportunity for smut but im too tired to continue damn

Life in Alexandria has so far been strange to adjust to, you continue to find yourself waking up regularly through the night. Your body has relied so long on a broken sleep cycle it simply cannot switch off the switch as easily as you wish for it, and wish for it you do every night before bed. However, life refuses to heed to your desires, preferring to disregard them completely. Your family finds it amusing to tease you about the dark circles under your eyes, that is after you have had anything with caffeine in to rattle your system into a state of alertness.

How the residents have made it this far agitates you to no end, while you and your family have suffered tragedy and loss at the hands of people like the Governor, to the people at Terminus while they sat sheltered and safe from the horrors of this new world crawls under your skin. The thought scratching inside of you, they’ve never known pain as you have, the realisation comes as one of the sons of the Monroe family accosted you the moment you set out of the door.

“ ⏤ she keeps going on about this pasta maker. I’m telling you, she never stops. “

“ she never stops, huh? “ you ask, placing yourself on the porch step with your head lazily resting in your hands. You felt as soon as he began speaking to you it was going to be a conversation you would not be interested in.

The you from twenty five minutes ago happens to be correct.

This all began because Rick thought it appropriate to let you sleep a while longer, and while you do feel more rested than you have in the longest time you can remember, you can feel irritation tickling the back of your neck intensely. Oh, I’m going to kill him when I see him. A silent thought interrupts you rudely, you almost shake your head to be rid of it and focus back on Spencer.

“ yeah, she’s not someone you wanna be caught right now by. She can talk your ears off for days. “ he informs with a chuckle, completely unaware of your blasé attitude or uncaring for it.

“ you know, I can really imagine that. “

Every inch of you is buzzing with an uncomfortable energy, you don’t want to integrate with their community just yet, preferring to feel around and understand the dynamics of how everything works. When society fell into the flames from humanity’s last fight with the walkers, you were lucky enough to have been able to seek safety with your group back in Atlanta at the quarry, and these have been the same people you have spent time with, shared your meals with, everything done has been with them. Quiet town life has been a memory of a past life that has faded into nothing more than a grey blur, shrouded in fog. To live here? It’s like learning how to ride a bicycle after many years of letting it gather dust. Your ways are not perfect, but they’re perfect for you. For your own pace and peace of mind.

“ has my mom given you a job yet? “

“ uh, yeah actually she has. I used to be a preschool teacher before everything went to hell. “ you explain to him, your memories of the children you used to teach had been painful until Judith. The little girl had been what you needed to confront your past that you had been so quick to push away in order to survive. You can’t count how many times you’d come close to thinking about their little faces, and if they’d survived the initial chaos, refusing to even put a face to a possible death. You’d spent many days and many hours getting to know their audacious and bold personalities, it cut you deep to even imagine the days they were supposed to have, the lives they should have been promised extinguished so prematurely as if they had been no more than a flame of a candle burning in the night.

“ well, those classes are really small. You won’t have your hands full. I suppose you’ll probably be helping with the afternoon classes, we’ve got more teenagers here. “

“ mhm, I thought as much. “ your words are a small acknowledgement, though it deterred him little.

Spencer keeps talking and talking, every once in a while you mutter an ‘ yeah ‘ or an ‘ mhm ‘ and even at points humming in response. It’s obvious he means well and is trying to get to know you all but it’s just a simple clash of cultures, it’s why you’re unable to cut the conversation short so rudely. Even during the apocalypse being respectful hasn’t been wiped away.

Yet.

“ hi, Spencer! “ the sugary sweet tone of Carol interrupted the interaction as she greets Spencer and yourself, the broad smile ignites her features.

Although, you know her better to know this is not one born of genuine emotion to see the man.

“ I was hoping to borrow my friend here. Rick’s looking for them. “

Recognition lights his features up, his eyes widen in understanding her words. Never have you been more thankful for the older woman than currently, if there’s one thing Carol can be, is a miracle maker. Spencer backs away with little to say, bidding a goodbye to both of you.

“ Carol, thank you. “ you breathe, your hands move up to scratch your scalp as tension eased away into the open air. “ I thought he was never going to leave. “

“ yeah, I thought you were in trouble. I thought you were ready to kill him. “

“ believe me, if he spoke for two more minutes I was coming close to getting very creative with one of those blunt dinner knives in there. “ you speak, a short giggle plummeting from your lips at the thought.

“ he’s at the gate ⏤ Rick, that is. If you want him. “

A few more words of light hearted humour are exchanged between you, just little things. You have known Carol for a long time, one of the few people to continue to see her as a human after losing Sophia, yes she was in mourning, but she was still human. You never tiptoed around her, you offered her support as best you could and for that she continues to be grateful. Even in the prison, you became closer, as time passed on she took up something of a parental role in your life. Though you were old enough at the time to not need one, you accepted it. A slice of normality granted to you for what reason you have never found out, but one you wouldn’t seek out either, for some things happen without cause or reason, a mystery of life.

Turning around a corner, you’d realised you took a wrong turn around one of the houses, your sense of direction would have been your downfall had you not found the people you now call your family. Admittedly, you’d not spent much time exploring the vast environment that is home to these large homes, you still dedicated some time to mapping all the twists and turns. However, not even that has aided you. Despite this, you find a silver lining to getting lost.. you have been able to shake off whatever blades of irritation that sorely wished to cling to your being for longer, you wanted nothing more than to approach Rick without anything that could set him off.

Though few words have been shared between you both about how you all feel about being in Alexandria, it doesn’t mean you haven’t noticed a tension building its blocks within Rick. Knowing all he has been through, you’re worried that he will reduce himself to being no more than a caged animal, biding his time to break free. It’s why you’re searching him out, a discussion is sorely needed before anything should happen, chaos has a way of trailing your family like a puppy following its master.

“ there you are. “

Rick lays his sights on you in the distance, waiting for you to move closer before saying a word. You would go so far as to say it has been one of the few instances of genuine contentment as his features relax from the lines of strain it held not even a few moments previously. Your hands move straight to your hips, standing a few metres away from him.

“ oh, you were actually looking for me? “ eyebrows raise ever so slightly, you thought Carol had been simply nudging you in his direction.

“ just to check the perimeter. “

“ and you need me for that ? “ you question him as your hands move to rest on your hips, a knowing smile lifting your expression as you observe him.

“ ‘course I do. “ Rick’s tone matches yours, it’s been a while since you’ve heard even the faintest hint of amusement associated with the intense male. It’s alien in a sense, though you’re welcoming of it.

Few words are exchanged with the Alexandrian who has been tasked with guarding the gate, exchanging the barest of information you realise as you watch Rick. You hope that even an hour outside the walls of the town is enough to soothe even the slightest of the negative energy that surrounds his being. Your situation is not perfect, and it’s inverted to what you had been experiencing previously, but you believe in your heart that this has to work. The thought of your family not being able to survive yet another bout of the outside world terrifies you to your core, the ice that is your fear erupting from your centre at the idea.

“ is there a real reason why you wanted me out here? “

“ it’s been a while since it was just us, gettin’ hard to breathe in there. “

“ Rick, you know I’m always here if you need it. I hate to see you carry everything on your shoulders the way you do. “

The hardness that had embedded itself into his face slowly eases at your words and thanks you for your support, he reaches out in between the distance that separates you to slip his fingers between yours. A comfort warms you in a way that no heat could at the action, you’re unable to stop the laugh that bursts free with a splutter. Even back on the road, and he was at his wits end, he was never this affectionate. It’s not something you hold against him though, there were many more things on his mind that required more attention.

“ somethin’ funny? “ he questions you immediately.

“ seeing this side of you, it’s just a bit weird. A good kind of weird, though. “ you assure, continuing to walk over the overgrown branches. “ you’re doing okay? Like, really? “

“ just hard to get used to. These people have just been lucky. “

You nod in understanding, it’s been your first thought every morning since walking through that gate with months of dirt and grime that had accumulated, clinging to every inch of your skin. While blood from the dead dried into your skin, becoming part of you, they lathered themselves in floral perfumes and sprays. As much as you want to allow the venom to pool within you, to form a monster born of hate ⏤ you can’t.

In this world you can’t be driven by such emotions, to aim them at innocent people. Had you been in their position, would it be such an easy position to leave this protected bubble? A piece of the previous world left untouched by the cold, ghostly grip of the dead.

“ we can’t hold it against them. “

“ they’re weak, they could get one of ours killed. “ he quietly grumbles in response, his head shaking at the thought. They’d lost too much already, and he would be damned if he lost any more members of his family, especially now they’d reached an element of safety.

“ or they might not? “ you counter his statement, your eyes pleading as you stop where you stand, your hands still connected.

“ we can’t deal in maybes, we deal in certainties. “

“ what are you suggesting, Rick? That we take over? “ you ask, your brows dropping lower. You’d seen enough death and violence to last you a lifetime, you’d had enough for now. You can’t confirm if you have enough energy for another fight. Too much has been lost.

“ if it comes to it. “

“ this is their home now, our home. They’re not bad people. “ you argue lightly, not wishing for a heated disagreement out there. Any walker around would be attracted by the noise and then the smell of the living, you’ve begun to get used to not having to slaughter walkers every day.

“ no, but they’re unprepared. “

“ so were we at some point! “ inch by inch, you close the distance. You rest your grip on his forearms, trying to calm him no matter how useless it may or may not be. “ Rick, you’re trying to create a problem. I get this is an adjustment and if anything does happen, we’ll have you back. We will fight, but for the sake of safety.. we have somewhere to actually live. “

Against his better judgement he nods, just to put a stop to the conversation. He’d wanted to spend some time alone with you that held no prying eyes from Alexandrians, nor the entertained gazes of your group.

“ let’s just see how things go, and try not to keep things bottled up. It never works out. “

“ I’m not sure you want me to share my deep, dark secrets. “ he asserts with a playful inkling hidden poorly within his words.

A smirk lines itself into your features, you’re feeling the energy from Rick and you can’t deny that it feels good. You lift your chin higher, inching your lips closer to his, the warm glow beginning to burn brighter ⏤ a silent dare in the form of a quiet whisper on your tongue. “ try me. “

[trashytoastboi]

Oh my god WOW that Shanks x reader one you posted, just woooow, it was so sweet Im in love. Would you mind if I request a Shanks x Female Reader with a soulmate words AU, who’s a civilian and their twin lines are “Always loved” on their chest? They find out by accident lol

Hiya! Thank you so much!~ I really appreciate it 🍀🙈 I love this request so much, I'm honestly such a sucker for AUs, I hope you enjoy!~

Askbox : Currently open

(Female Pronouns)

Scenario: Soul Mate AU! Shanks accidentally discovering his soul mate.

Word Count: 1850

Soul mates is a concept mentioned often in everyday conversation, dreamt about and hopes are formed around the idea of being united with one’s soul mate – more often than not people tend to gravitate towards others without ever finding their soul mates. One’s soul mate is identified by words on their skin which they are born with; the same words and placement are evident in both partners.

And despite many who don’t truly believe in finding soul mates, thinking of their words to be nothing more than birthmarks… there are still the few who truly believe and go the extra mile searching for the elusive ‘true’ love.

Shanks was one of these individuals, the few who believed in pursuit for the unattainable.

Due to his immense influence, Shanks had occasionally taken on the role of the peacekeeper that tried to prevent the stirrings of war and finds he was travelling frequently due to this. After his many long and drawn out string of meetings, Shanks was exhausted considering he was the only one able to keep himself under control in amongst rooms full of bloodthirsty, hot tempered people whom threatened war as a solution to every problem. Wandering around the town filled with travellers, he seeks out something quiet and goes to the smallest, most inconspicuous place.

Setting foot into the small establishment, he is instantly hit with a comforting warmth and smell of alcohol, enjoying the less than boisterous environment already. There were very few patrons, a few women scattered around wearing the same dress which Shanks had already figured to be the uniform and an elderly man skilfully playing tunes on the equally aged piano – but none the less it seemed fitting for the purpose of food, rest and information on where to stay for the night. He wandered further in, he is met with a slight and unusual irritation on his skin, almost as if it were a low grade burning sensation, he acknowledges it but wilfully chooses to dismiss it.

Sliding into one of the many empty seats, he decides a drink is necessary to settle, his eyes gazing over the well maintained wooden bar, he makes out the silhouette of another women, his eyes wander up to greet a bewitching beauty with an enticing smile which seems to leave him incapacitated, she greets him with a warm and welcoming voice as he regains his senses. Shanks orders his drink as she saunters away, he can’t help but notice the singular difference in her uniform in comparison to the others – longer sleeves and a covered chest. She places the bottle on the bar, preparing a glass and sharing another divine smile. Shanks speaks up, mentioning something along the lines of her smile being too precious to be shared, {Name} laughs in response – although for her it has become routine; the usual customer entertainment – make small talk, encouragement of conversation and laughing at their jokes whether found to be terrible or truly humorous.

Setting the glass down and expertly pouring the poison of choice, {Name’s} eyes inspect the man, noticing his open-chest shirt, she couldn’t help but gaze at the letters on his skin.

“Always loved” - {Name} felt her hand get a bit heavier as she pours Shanks a much stronger drink than intended, brushing off the mishap with the comment “Looks like you need it”

She cleans the small spillage and wipes the outside of his glass, before setting it down in front of him with another well placed smile. Looking for reason to stay and converse {Name} goes for the guise of wiping down the bar and a few additional glasses. “Can I ask why you leave your shirt open?” – She inquires, knowingly asking about the words and not his fashion choice. A cheerful grin, indicating a joy in his response to her question, Shanks recites the answer he has recited many times before with as much passion and insistence as the very first time; explaining that it is on display for everyone to see, yet only truly intended for his soul mate. The world is vast and he does it in the hopes of it lending a helping hand in finding them, should he miss them accidentally.

Shanks bashfully scratches his nose “I admit, I am a bit of a romantic when it comes to this…all things considered it was one of the reasons I became a pirate, travelling to various places and sailing different seas…I’ve been searching since I was young.” Previously he had appeared to be proudly proclaiming looking for his soul mate, and yet the continuation of his confession seemed to be almost secretive; not as shared as one may have previously anticipated.

“What if you’ve already missed them?” {Name} asks, feeling intrigued in finding out how Shanks would answer

“What if you had already met them and you never knew it?” – She extends her question as he seems to be thinking, his brow slightly furrowed in deep thought.

“I would know, if I’ve met them” Shanks replies with a carefree grin, {Name} feels a slight disappointment in his answer, the words ‘yeah right’ come to mind in an overly sarcastic tone which is certainly not suitable for conversation with a customer who could possibly interpret sarcasm as hostility.

Shanks leans in a bit closer to {Name} – “I mean, that’s how I know…it’s you” he says in a slightly hushed tone, {Name} looks at him in complete disbelief… eagerly denying the possibility, Shanks feels a need to mention the difference in her uniform compared to others, seeing as {Name’s} uniform conveniently hides her chest which could show the truth of the current matter.

Reinforcing her previous denial and insistence on it not being the case, Shanks recedes and relinquishes his own assertion on the topic, seemingly surprised that he had guessed wrong, followed by a heartfelt apology on his part.

Shanks initially had said the words in jest, though in an attempt to possibly fluster {Name} but as the words came out, Shanks found himself believing it to be his honest words. Feeling curious however at the raised question, Shanks politely asks {Name} about her marked words, to which {Name} dismisses it, replying with a generic ‘nothing special’ feeling the need to add her view of ‘I’m not looking either’ to the mix. Shanks nods his head in a gesture of understanding trying to settle the slight remaining tension from the ‘mishap’, realizing that he has yet to ask for her name.

“{Name…}” he repeats her name, feeling a slight familiarity, asking if this really was their first meeting… “What would you do if they found you?” Shanks tries to find the answer in her expression which threatens to give nothing away.

“I’m still figuring that out” {Name} says, lost in thought with no smile this time, as she is alerted by another person standing at the bar, she leaves Shanks to help the other patron.

Shanks diverts his attention to his neglected drink; until the temporary peace was disturbed by a raised clamour and commotion, the sounds of angered shouting and things being thrown from a table that was carelessly pushed aside. Normally a fight of small magnitude would be left alone or told to be taken care of elsewhere, until the involvement of one of the workers. {Name} hastily steps out from behind the bar and tries to break up the fight while going to the rescue of her fellow staff. The tension reaches boiling point as {Name’s} interference had offset the reaction between the two, {Name’s} interference was now considered a nuisance and weapons were drawn, in the violent flurry of the fight she had been thrown to the ground, blood running down her arm and chest as a misdirected blade had slashed {Name}.

In the next instance there was silence, followed by the sound of the participants of the fight hitting the ground; now lying unconscious. {Name} instantly covers her chest from the now torn dress as Shanks throws his coat over her, in a swift and effortless manner Shanks had picked her up from the ground, carrying her and asking where he can take her to be cleaned up and rest.

Being shown to the backroom Shanks ignores {Name’s} resistance to his help, claiming that she is fine. Setting her down, he insists on treating her injuries, though to her clear hesitance. Understandably Shanks considers it is the point of him being a man and {Name} is trying to protect her modesty; though he continues insisting, Shanks reinforces the promise that he is not lecherous man and is purely trying to treat her injuries for her sake. {Name} realizes that an untreated wound could lead to complications and somehow she is unable to say no to Shanks, feeling a strange degree of trust towards him.

The two sit in silence as Shanks treats her injuries, feeling relieved that the wounds were not extensive and just happened to look worse than they actually were. He reads the words on her skin, Shanks was right…

“You’re not angry?” {Name} breaks the silence feeling awkward conversation may be more comfortable than the stifling silence.

“About?”

“I lied…about the words” {Name} admits, her voice laced with a twinge of guilt

Shanks chuckles and speaks in a comforting manner “Not everyone is as inclined towards the soul mate thing as others, I believe in that hope and romanticism but I’m sure it’s caused you a lot of pain”

“Something like that…” {Name} mutters

“I’m sorry” Shanks casts a small smile as he finishes dressing her wounds, his hand gently grasps hers in response to her evident confusion.

“That it took me so long to find you”

{Name} is still swept up in her confusion, not entirely knowing how to process this completely enigmatic man before her.

“But I lied about it, I told you I wasn’t looking…I—“

“I’ve been searching the world for you; I full well don’t intend to leave you when I’ve just found you. I am determined.”

“D-determined you say?” {Name} can’t help looking on incredulously at Shanks who continues smiling

“To make you fall in love with me” he says nonchalantly and affirmatively

{Name} is speechless at his bold statement – feeling a fair mix of uncertainty and disbelief.

“Don’t misunderstand me…I don’t only love you because you’re my soul mate. Having the same words does not make one entitled to the others’ love – I intend to fall in love further with who you are, truthfully I feel; even if the words were not the same, I still would have tried.”

“There is really no arguing with you, is there?” {Name} places her hand on her head, resigning to this stubborn man.

“There is meaning to the words…I truly intend to make you always feel loved” Shanks intrudes further, pushing past {Name’s} fear – “You need to understand…to a pirate, the most unattainable treasure is the most desirable” Shanks plants a kiss on {Name’s} lips, stunning her from his sudden and bold move.

“Just blame it on me being a pirate” Shanks says with a mischievous grin.

[yuta-nakamots]

Candle Light - l.hc ; Part 1 of 2

Pairing - College!Haechan x Ghost!Reader

Genre - Angst in the beginning, but it’s just fluff from there

Warnings - Character death, supernatural activity (you are literally a ghost)

Summary - As the resident ghost that haunts your old apartment, you take pride in scaring away those who dare move in, not wanting them to ruin your memories. Though your mission changes after a group of boys arrive. These are the four boys you allow into your space and your heart. One of them is the candle that supports you, and you are the fire that burns atop it, his beacon of light.

Word Count - 5.7k

A/N - this series is inspired from a discontinued series that @soleilhyuck​ originally wrote on her old blog. let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list :)

Tag List - @sunflowerhae @eunsangelical @soleilhyuck @neoyoungho @carefreebubble​

You are a ghost, to put things simply. The past three years of your undead life have been spent wandering through your apartment complex, though you mostly stayed to your unit and scared away those who chose to move in, as it is your precious space. It reminds you of your family, the people who had moved away shortly after your accident because they couldn’t stand constantly walking past the place where you took your last breath.

Three years ago, you were in your second year of college and making your way back home from your on-campus job late at night when you were hit by a car as you crossed the street. You had your phone out to finally respond to the messages that were built up and read all the emails waiting in your inbox, you didn’t even see the car speeding down the road. Apparently, it was a classic drunk driving case as the light above you was red, telling them to stop, but they were too inhibited to recognize the traffic signal.

You remember the feeling of getting hit and blacking out, but when you came to, you were a few feet away from the crowd of people in front of the car. When you pushed yourself off the ground and made your way over to them to see what they were making such a big deal about, that’s when you saw it. Your lifeless body was sprawled out on the road, bruised and bloodied from hitting the hard pavement and the impact of the car.

Within the crowd were a few of your coworkers who probably left a little while after you and were making their way back home or to their dorms as well. One of them was your childhood friend who lived a few floors below you. You ran to him and said his name, trying to get his attention, but he didn’t answer. You tried again, eventually yelling and reaching out to shake him by his shoulders but you watched as your hands passed right through his frame.

You were in denial at your current state and you stayed frozen in place as he whipped out his phone and called your mom. It felt as if everything was going all too fast around you, like the Earth was rotating faster than you could keep up with. You saw your parents and little sister running across the street, all of them in their pajamas.

You watched as your mother knelt down and held your head to her chest as she wept, her tears sinking into the fabric of the shirt you were wearing.

You watched as your father spoke to the paramedics when they arrived, telling them that he had just gotten to the scene and he was alerted by your friend who stood behind your mom, looking over you as he shook his head in disbelief.

You watched as your sister, only fifteen years old, struggled to grasp the situation at hand. She had never lived a single second of her life without you. Regardless of all the fights and arguments the two of you got into, at the end of the day, you were her older sister, the person she looked up to most, the best role model she could’ve ever asked for. She stood at the edge of the crowd, too shocked to even move.

You watched as the paramedic team loaded your body onto the stretcher and into the ambulance where they tried to take your vitals, all their efforts in vain. They pronounced you dead on site, silence washing over the group of people who had been witnesses and those who knew you and stayed to offer support.

You don’t know what came over you, but you found yourself walking the path back to your apartment as if nothing had happened. Walking through the lobby, you made your way to the elevator and hit the button out of habit and waited for the familiar rattling as the elevator made its way down. The doors opened and it was empty, as usual for it being this late at night, but you didn’t mind.

When you got off at your floor and trudged through the hallway to your apartment, you reached around to get your keys out of your backpack, and tried to insert it into the doorknob, watching as your hand and key went straight through the door itself and reality came crashing down on you again.

You could only sigh as you shut your eyes willed yourself to take a daring step straight through the door that would’ve definitely stopped you in your tracks hours ago, yet when you opened your eyes, you were met with the familiar sight of the unit you spent almost your entire life in. You were numb by now, you felt tired and drained, You threw your bag on the ground of the room, not even noticing it as it simply disappeared while you flung yourself onto your bed and allowed your eyes to close while you drifted into a state of unconsciousness.

It had been three years since that fateful night, your family moving out not even a month later. You tried your damn hardest to get their attention as they packed the tan boxes, crying out that you were still here, you were still alive. But none of it ever seemed to work, they continued their movements without a single glance at you.

Ever since then, you had remained alone in your apartment, playing with those who chose to move in. Most didn’t last more than a few months, losing their mind to your antics as you closed and opened doors, slammed windows, flipped light switches, and even moved their belongings around the unit. Simple things like these were enough to make tenants terminate their contracts and move out of your home.

Part of you felt the slightest bit of guilt for doing this, but it was your space. Besides, it wasn’t as if you were hurting them. You wouldn’t call yourself a bad ghost, per say, as you were quite peaceful, never going as far as to physically harm anyone. Though you didn’t know how much longer you could stand aimlessly roaming around before you truly lost your mind and went mad.

July 2019

In the sweltering summer heat, which you fortunately could no longer feel, you were broken out of your drifting trance as you heard the front door to your apartment open. You watched from the sofa as four handsome boys walked in, lugging suitcases and boxes behind them. You peeked around the wall separating the main room from the kitchen as you heard them arguing with each other and talking about their classes.

From their conversations, you gathered that they were going to be second year students at your university. They were your age, though you were theoretically older than them, but whenever you were able to manifest the silhouette of your human body, you look just the same as you did back then, three years ago.

You were also able to learn their names as they shouted at each other, trying to figure out whose boxes were whose.

“Jeno, put that one down in the main room.” One of the boys yelled, the black haired one looked up as he found the room in question and yelled back in acknowledgement as he carried one box in his right arm while guiding a bike with the other. He seemed to be the most well built out of all of them, the black tank top he was wearing doing nothing to hide his strong arms from view.

“Hey, Jaemin, go open some windows.” Jeno commanded as he set down the box with a thump and you watched as the grey haired boy split off from the rest of them and went to open the windows next to the door that slid open to the balcony.

“Guys, come look at this view.” Jaemin exclaimed, Jeno and the brown haired boy joining him as he looked through the glass and admired the view of the city.

“Can someone please help me with this.” Said an anxious voice from the front door and you turned along with the rest of the boys, the fourth and smallest of the group as he struggled to make his way through the suitcases left haphazardly in the hallway while carrying an easel that was just as tall as him, if not taller.

“Yeah, sure thing, Renjun.” The tan skinned boy with dark chocolate colored hair walked over and laid down in his tracks, causing the shorter boy to curse in frustration and the other two to let out laughs from across the room.

“Haechan, I will literally step on you if you don’t move.” The aforementioned boy had immediately caught your eye. He was like the physical embodiment of summer itself.

You sat back down on the couch and watched as Jaemin and Renjun claimed your parents' old room since it was the largest and could fit both of them plus Renjun’s easel and other art supplies. Jeno took your younger sister’s room, finding barely space to store his bike alongside one of the walls before venturing into the shared bathroom between his and Haechan’s room. The latter boy took your room, the smallest one with a window offering the same view the balcony did, not minding the cramped environment as he didn’t bring much with him in the first place.

A feeling of annoyance built up in you when Haechan opened the window and stuck his head out the same way you used to do ever since you were younger. You couldn’t deny the fact that he was attractive, heck, all of them were, but that wasn’t enough to quell your irritation at how these boys were in your home.

As Haechan pulled away from the window, you were about to slam it shut right in front of him and begin your plan to get rid of them. But before you could move, Jeno burst into the room, telling Haechan to “come look at the refrigerator this place has, it’s got a screen and everything” with much excitement.

You left your bedroom, following Haechan out as he paused to take another look out from the glass panelling that separated the main room from the balcony, one of your most sacred places as it was where you often enjoyed doing your homework due to the cooling breeze that would occasionally blow by, ruffling your hair as it passed.

August 2019

Halfway through the month, the boys had all started their classes and you were able to learn their majors and educational plans. Renjun was an art major that was just getting his core classes out of the way before transferring to a school with a specialized art program. Jeno majored in biology with hopes to become a physical therapist or veterinarian, he was having a hard time choosing, believe me. Jaemin was a business major and you felt like an idiot for not realizing it sooner with all the smooth talking he does and his way of persuading the others to do his share of chores for him. Haechan, the boy that bothered you most out of all of them, was undecided. This didn’t surprise you either as he was always on his computer playing video games, not showing much interest in anything else.

You found it entertaining to listen in on their conversations as they talked about their school activities like when Renjun joined the astrology club or when Jeno had joined the humane society club. Though Jaemin didn’t join any clubs, he had joined many other outside volunteer organizations. He especially loved talking about volunteering at the local orphanage and care homes for the elderly. He even got a job at the new cafe that apparently opened up recently just a block away from the apartment complex. Haechan, unlike the rest of them, didn’t do anything outside of school. He’d come home, do some of his homework, and immediately go to his computer to play Overwatch regardless if he was truly done with his work or not.

By this time, you had already started messing with them by fooling around with their doors and windows. None of them were truly phased though, passing it off as just the wind or the weight of the windows themselves being heavy enough to close on their own. The only one who seemed to have any suspicion of your existence was Renjun

September 2019

Around this month, the boys’ school semester was in full swing and you could truly see what type of students they were. Renjun and Jeno were both very organized and self-disciplined, wanting to finish their work before they allowed themselves to relax. Haechan and Jaemin were the opposite of that, wanting to relax first and recharge their mind before doing any school work. Jaemin always made sure to finish his work though, even pulling a few all-nighters unlike Haechan.

Even though you’ve continued to mess around with them, they were seemingly unbothered by your antics, only blaming themselves when you started misplacing their objects like when you moved Haechan’s keys from the kitchen island to the coffee table in the living room or when you moved Jeno’s notebook from his desk to the bathroom counter. It was quite funny though, when Jaemin came across the notebook after using the toilet, yelling out into the hallway “hey Jeno! Were you reading your biology notes while taking a dump or something? You forgot your notebook in here.”

Jeno came in muttering as Jaemin finished washing his hands, “I could’ve sworn I left it on my desk when I finished taking notes” his voice trailing off at the end as he reached up and scratched the back of his head while taking the notebook from the counter and making his way back to his room.

Again, it was only Renjun who seemed to have any amount of brain cells that were alert of your presence. One evening, you were watching him paint in his shared room and you had accidentally knocked down the cup that was holding his paintbrushes, wincing as it crashed down onto the floor from his desk. “Ah!” He had exclaimed as he whipped around from the canvas, taking in the sight of his brushes scattered on the floor and his cup rolling beneath his chair. He turned around again, peering around his easel, checking to see if the window was shut, “I swear this place must be haunted” was what he said when he realized that the window was indeed securely shut.

October 2019

As fall started to settle in, the leaves changing color and the air growing colder, you were given less opportunities to play around with windows and doors, forcing you to come up with more ideas to get them out. Your next momentous idea came to you on Halloween night as you were spread out on the seemingly unoccupied armchair, watching the horror movie the boys had put on. All four of them were crammed onto the couch because it had the best view of the TV and none of them wanted to sit on the floor or in another chair where they’d have to turn their neck to look at the screen.

You weren’t really a fan of horror movies but it’s not like you could complain. Besides, they were younger than all of the previous tenants and seemed to be active users of Netflix, allowing you to see all the new things that had been added to the streaming service. You found it funny when you noticed that they all had their own profiles on Jaemin’s account seeing as how he was the only one actually making enough money to pay for it.

It was about half an hour into the movie when the first jump scare happened. You laughed as Jeno practically threw the bowl of popcorn that was peacefully resting in his lap into the air, most of the popcorn landing on Haechan who was sitting next to him. “Wait, guys, did you hear that?” Renjun asked as he looked in your direction, pupils searching for the source of your laugh while you sat frozen in shock.

“It was probably just the neighbors.” Haechan said nonchalantly as he picked pieces of popcorn off his head and shoved them into his mouth.

Renjun shook his head, “no, I swear it sounded like it was in this room.”

“Dude, if you’re that scared of the movie then you don’t have to watch it.” Jeno said, earning a giggle from Jaemin.

“I’m not scared, I just thought I heard something.” Renjun mumbled as he slowly turned his attention back to the movie.

Only a few people could hear you and even fewer could actually see you. You were used to being totally invisible to the wide majority of tenants who moved in, not many of them believing in ghosts until you began your pranks and scared them into realizing that ghosts do indeed exist. The fact that Renjun had heard you was enough to let you know that he was a believer already and you planned on using this to your advantage soon, and by soon you meant within the next hour or so.

Right after the boys witnessed a gruesome death in the movie, you had turned off the TV, pressing the power button on the back of the monitor to match the timing of the characters’ unconscious body dropping to the floor. They initially thought it was part of the movie, that it was a cut to a new scene, but they soon realized this was not the case as the TV screen stays black.

Renjun’s eyes went wide as he frantically searched for the TV remote on the couch and coffee table in front of them, his breath getting stuck in his throat as he saw it sitting atop a stack of magazines, certain that he would’ve noticed if anyone had moved to grab it. “This TV doesn’t have an auto-timer feature does it?” He asked, his voice quivering in fear.

“I-I don’t think so.” Jeno admitted, clearly also quite shaken up.

Jaemin glanced around the room before remarking, “the power is still on though so I don’t know why it would have shut off.”

“This is what I mean when I say this place is haunted,” Renjun burst out, abruptly standing up and letting the blanket they were all sharing fall to the floor, “I’m going to bed before anything else bad can happen.” You smiled at his innocence thinking he could just sleep away your presence.  As he passed you on his way to his room, you whispered his name and held back a snicker as he jumped, his head whipping back and forth to find you. “Who’s there?” The other three boys just laughed at him, enjoying the show they thought he was putting on. “Guys, I’m being serious.”

“None of us said anything.” Haechan remarked, obviously thinking that his friend was going insane.

In Renjun’s panic, you had moved to get out of his supposed path to his bedroom, but you weren’t ready when he suddenly made his way back to the boys on the couch, threatening to punch them. He walked straight through your form and froze as the cold air hit his skin, causing the hair on his arms to rise.

“What? Cat got your tongue?” Jaemin teased.

“Did you guys really not feel that gust of air?” Renjun asked, eyes blown wide in disbelief.

Jeno shook his head, “nope,” he stated, popping the ‘p’, “I think you should really get to bed though, you stayed up kinda late last night so maybe you’re just imagining things.”

Renjun stomped his foot angrily before turning on his heel and storming off towards his room, “fine, but don’t come crying to me when this ghost starts messing with you guys too.”

Sure enough, that’s exactly what you did. Later that night, when they were all asleep, you had come up with your own way to mess with each of them, mentally high fiving yourself as you made your way to Haechan’s room, which was actually your room.

You proceeded to open the single window, along with all the doors, even the sliding one for the closet. You took it upon yourself to empty the contents of his pencil case, placing them in the shape of a sun in the middle of the floor, remembering how he called himself ‘full sun’ though admittedly it resembled something more of a summoning circle so you quickly scrapped the idea, opting to simply just scatter them randomly.

Happy with your work, you passed through the shared bathroom, which was surprisingly neat for two boys, your gaze landing on Jeno who was letting out light snores as you entered his room. He was the neatest out of all of them, his desk always cleaned up before going to bed, his outfit for the next day already planned out and resting on his chair. You knew how much he valued his cleanliness and organization, so those were the things you were going to ruin.

You opened all of his desk drawers, taking a few things out and placing them around the room, even into different drawers that they didn’t belong in. You then took apart his stack of books, opening them to random pages and placing them on top of each other in any which way, making your own precarious leaning tower. The finishing touch was when you turned his clothes inside out and laid them on the back of his chair. You looked over at his sleeping body, snoring even louder than before, smiling to yourself as you moved to the last room.

Jaemin didn’t have much on his side of the room for you to play around with but you noticed his hand was hanging off the bed so you decided to try out one of the pranks that you’d learned about from your friends back in high school where if you placed someone’s hand in warm water while sleeping, it would make them pee in their sleep.

You made your way into the kitchen and willed your power to manifest your semi-solid human body, needing it to grab a cup from the drying rack and turn on the sink to fill it with water. As you popped it into the microwave and pressed the buttons to heat it up for 2 minutes, cringing at the obnoxious sound of the beeping, remembering the horrid couple that brought it in with them.

While waiting for the microwave to finish it’s job, you leaned against the counter, eyeing the mountain of dishes in the sink in disgust, wondering just when will these boys actually clean up. They were relatively neat for a bunch of boys but that doesn’t mean they were in an acceptable range of overall cleanliness, barely of them making any use of the washing machine in the hallway. You stopped the microwave just before it went off, and grabbed the warm cup out before making sure to reset the timer and close the door.

You turned around, trying your best to balance the cup and not spill any until you looked up and saw a wide-eyed Renjun standing in the doorway. “W-who are you?”

You dropped the plastic cup out of shock, the warm water spilling all over the floor, not that you could feel it or care about it. “No one” you responded quickly, before forcing your body to revert back to it’s normal invisible state.

“Wait no, come back. You’re the ghost from earlier aren’t you?” Renjun pleaded as you moved slowly to stand behind him, making sure not to cause any gusts of air. “What’s your name, if you don’t mind me asking, and why are you here?” He questioned, staring at the place you were previously.

“Get out.”

You watch the hairs on his neck rise as he froze in place and began stuttering “P-p-please don’t hurt me, I just want to help you.”

“If you want to help me then get out” you jeered.

“Don’t you wonder why you’re still here? I can’t just leave you to endlessly haunt this place,” Renjun said, trying to reason with you. You sighed realizing that he was one of those types of believers, and he wouldn’t be leaving as easily as you thought. You left the kitchen, the breeze following you signaling to Renjun that you were moving, “isn’t there any way I can help you?”

You didn’t respond, only heading through the living room to the balcony where you turned around and sat down in a lawn chair one of the boys had set outside, your gaze settling back on Renjun’s in the hallway. You heard him sigh as he walked into the kitchen and then some shuffling around as he was probably cleaning up the water you spilled before he headed back to his room.

November 2019

As the weather grew colder and their workloads grew heavier, you often found the boys exploring new ways to warm themselves up. Jeno took to impromptu workout sessions even when he was fully clothed in a hoodie and sweatpants. Renjun opted to simply drink warm drinks while the funnies of them all was Jaemin who preferred to wrap himself in blankets, keeping himself in his cocoon as he moved throughout the apartment, even when he went to use the bathroom and when he cooked. You didn’t mind those things, the only coping mechanism that really bothered you was the scented candles that Haechan would use.

He’d often go to bed, forgetting to put out the candle and you’d watch as the hot wax melted down, some of it dripping onto the desk it was on, your desk to be specific. You swatted at the flame, effectively extinguishing it as you slammed the window shut, rousing Haechan from his sleep. Seeing as how nothing was out of the ordinary, he fell back asleep within a few seconds making you scoff at his ignorance at possibly burning the whole place down.

This became a regular occurrence as Haechan’s assignments grew in their numbers and intensity, forcing him to stay up later and work through the cold of the nights. You were glad he was making an effort to keep up with his schooling, but not when those obnoxious candles were left ablaze every single night as he drifted off into dreamland.

December 2019

Renjun had finished his midterms the earliest out of all of the boys, meaning that he got to stay in while all the others still went back to campus. You enjoyed being in his room while he painted, liking the ambiance it gave off. You often found yourself drifting in and watching him as his brush ran across the canvas.

Though one day, as you sat on Jaemin’s bed on the other side of the room, he suddenly spoke out. “I know you’re there.” He didn’t stop his motions, only dipping his brush back into the orange paint he was using before returning his attention back to the sunset inspired painting he was creating. “You know so much about me, yet I know nothing about you. Don’t you think that’s a little unfair?” He stated as he turned to grab another brush, dipping it into the royal blue resting on his palette. “If you were going to hurt us, you would’ve done something by now. We’ve been here for nearly five months at this point and you only seem to pull harmless pranks on us.”

You materialized behind him before speaking. “Is it too much to want my own home for myself?” He jumped a little, much to your amusement.

“I’m sorry?” he said, not seeming to understand what you were getting at.

“This is my home, I want you to leave, let me live in peace.”

“I don’t think you understand” he began, “you’re not even alive. Your spirit may be but you have no physical embodiment to live here.”

You bring a hand up to his cheek, his brush stopping in its tracks, “I’m more alive than you think, Renjun.”

“I don’t even know your name, so how am I supposed to believe--”

“Who are you even talking to?” Both of you whip around, not remembering having heard Haechan come through the front door, too immersed in your own conversation.

Renjun suddenly notices your floating blue lit figure next to him, “her! I was talking to her” he exclaims.

“Who?” Haechan asks, clearly confused.

“Don’t you see her?”

“No, Renjun, I do not see her or anyone else in the room for the matter. I think those paints must be toxic for you.” He remarked, walking out of the room.

“Haechan, no, wait-- come back” Renjun pleaded as he scrambled to force Haechan to see what he was seeing, which you knew was impossible since Haechan was a non-believer.

In Renjun’s haste, he kicked one of the legs of his easel, tipping it over. Before it could hit the floor, you grabbed it, causing it looking as if it were hovering in the air. But to Renjun, who could very much see you, it made him that much more certain that you were real and it made him that much more persistent to figure out why you were here.

Barely even a day has passed since then when you learn that Renjun is able to see you even when you weren’t in your misty human form. He could see you as you floated throughout the rooms and wandered through the hallways. You only realized this after watching his eyes follow you as you made your way from the kitchen to the living room, passing in front of the TV that he was currently watching.

“You can see me?” you asked, not believing that he actually could.

He seemed just as surprised as you, his mouth open in surprise. “I-I think so?” A few seconds went by as you both tried to process what was going on. “Why can I see you and hear you but the others can't?” He asked.

“They don’t believe in ghosts, or at least not as much as you do.” You explained, shrugging your shoulders apprehensively.

Renjun leaned back into the couch, his face showing just how shocked he was, the realization of being able to communicate with a ghost only now hitting him. “Can you at least tell me why you’re still here?”

You scoff before responding to him, “I told you, this is my home and I want you and your friends out.”

“I’m sorry, but we’re just a group of broke college students. We don’t have anywhere else to go. I promise that we’ll move out at the end of the school year.” You rolled your eyes at him as you move to sit out on the balcony, ready to figure out a new way to force them out before then.

Two weeks later on new year’s eve, being the ‘broke college students’ they were, the boys had settled down in the living room with the TV on as they watched the ball drop while eating instant ramen and drinking from the two cheap bottles of bourbon they had bought earlier in the week.

Growing up, you had always thought it was fun to play with sparklers and watch the fireworks from the balcony of your unit. But now days you found it stupid, knowing that humans believed it would drive away bad sprits, yet little did they know that it really didn’t do much except irritate them. You would know from your own personal experience.

You and Renjun had gotten used to his ability to see you, this newfound ability causing you to hang around him a little more, though the others were convinced he was going insane. They were just about ready to hand him over to the mental ward for schizophrenia when he turned to you asking “are you okay with all the fireworks going off?” referring to the channel they had the TV set on.

“Yeah, it’s fine. They’re annoying at most but I don’t care.”

Haechan dropped his set of chopsticks, his eyes and mouth agape as he stared at Renjun. “What was that?” he questioned, clearly in shock.

“Oh, you can hear y/n?” Renjun questioned, not at all phased as he finished chewing on the noodles in his mouth.

“Who is ‘y/n?’” Haechan asked, bewildered.

“She’s the ghost that lives here, the one I was telling you guys about since like, Halloween?” He said, looking over at you for confirmation, to which you nodded.

“Yeah, Halloween.” You acknowledged, Haechan’s eyes landing on you as he began to see your faint silhouette sitting next to Renjun.

Jaemin, with an eyebrow raised in concern, is the first to break the sudden silence that fell across the room. “Okay Renjun, we’re taking you to see a psychologist tomorrow.”

“No guys, y/n is real, I swear,” Renjun protested, “Haechan can hear her and I can see her too. Look, y/n hold this.” He said, handing you a napkin. It rested on your hand before floating through you and landing on the floor.

You watched as Jeno’s eyes grew wider and his eyebrows raised as he became the slightest bit skeptical of your existence whilst Jaemin was still unamused, convinced that it was just a trick of the wind. Before they could say anything else, voices could be heard from the TV as the crowd started to count down from 30, effectively distracting the boys from their previous discussion.

You noticed that one of them didn’t return his attention to the TV, however. Haechan’s gaze was still fixed on you as your glowing misty blue figure became clearer and clearer to him.

A/N - this series is inspired from a discontinued series that @hyuckgasm​ originally wrote on her old blog. let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list for Candle Light :)

[tsaritsa]

check my time

firstly; ever write something and be like. oh damn. i wrote that bitch? that's me rn

secondly, this title is taken from rebecca black's friday. shenanigans were had in the royai support group discord in which we were determined to title some fics with that immortal song. come hang with us! it's pretty fun and we only occasionally have so-bad-it's-good ideas like this.

you can also read this over on ao3

--

It is perhaps, unsurprising, that Major Mustang initially believes that it was because of him that she signed up for service. His idyllicism is perhaps the most enduring trait she has to remember him by: a young man, proudly wearing his blues and speaking of the way he would coax the country in a better, grander, position than where it started. His inherent paternalism – and it is that, he wants to make the country into his image and nothing less – is inherited from her own father. He too, believed, understood, proved that he knew the way forward.

It is a bit of a joke now how personally he seems to take this new knowledge – this was not part of his plan. Perhaps he thought he would return after the war, a decorated hero with new depths to those dark eyes and sweep her off her feet like so many of her dorm sisters have been in recent years. What few letters that do make their way to the estate – and subsequently, months later to the front – are notices of marriage, and once, an invitation to attend herself. Laura had been one of the kinder girls, and a small part of Riza that’s been tucked away between the notches on her rifle would’ve liked to see her in white, watched the celebration with a distance that Laura wouldn’t have questioned or assumed was rude.

But Riza is unable to entertain such fantasies. This country would rather look the other way than acknowledge the cost of this war, the amount of people being flung into the sand just to keep the effort justifiable. There are rumours that another train line has been taken out, and necessary supplies that were already months late will now never arrive. It’s a wonder any letters managed to find their way to her at all.

Major Mustang has a peculiar habit of finding her no matter where she is in the encampment. At first, she pegs it down to coincidence, but later it becomes clearer that he is seeking her out in some fashion, even if most times he refuses to engage with her at all. Perhaps he thinks he can protect her in this way, a careful eye watching from a distance. It is laughable. The distance Riza is able to set between herself and any unwanted target easily outstrips his distance for accuracy. She can and will limit her damage. He razes through it all as if the end result is the only thing that matters. Perhaps that’s true. The reality of bending a land, a people, to your will is never as simple as her superiors make it out to be.

Part of her resents this treatment, resents the hovering that the others in her unit have picked up on. They’re snipers, after all. They’re meant to look at the wider picture, notice small, subtle shifts in the landscape. It takes them a little longer to deduce who he’s trying to shadow, but after another few days of watching him not-wander with not-purpose, her spotter nudges her, faintly tilting his head towards 11 o’clock.

“Perhaps he’s never seen a woman with short hair before. I hear he came from Central – fuckwits, the lot of them.”

Her spotter, Dylan, is a stout young man, with a face that had not lost the fat of his youth until very recently. He, like her, was pushed through quickly, at the pleading of higher-ups who were wholly unprepared for their theatres of war. The two of them are well aware of the incompetence that has resulted in their posting. This knowledge is what protects them more than the briefings they receive.

A tense smile pulls at the edges of her lips. “I have the unfortunate pleasure of being acquainted with him. I would hesitate to paint him with the same brush as the soldiers from the last tour though.”

Dylan scoffs, picking at the cervidae meat the cooks managed to scrounge up. It’s probably a sacred animal in these parts. “Does he think you don’t belong here?”

Riza hums. “I think he envisioned a different future for me. I think I’ve ruined the fantasy.”

--

The man introduced to her briefly as Maes Hughes seeks her out some weeks later. He is an interesting man. Riza thinks he is like the prisms that fracted light in her Father’s study: she spies different fragments of him, personalities and idiosyncrasies that layer over one another if you view him just so. He is canny and shrewd, and Riza is not surprised that Major Mustang has made his acquaintance. His ability to seek out power and bend it to suit his whims is perhaps the most crucial thing to understand about him. It does not necessarily matter what the substance of the power is, it only matters in how he can exploit it for his personal use.

“Hawkeye,” Maes Hughes says shortly, deliberately stepping into pace with her as she moves through the camp. She had been seeking some rest. She knows now that that will be difficult to do unless she plays his game.

“Captain Hughes,” she responds, dipping her head in acknowledgment. It is perhaps a little ruder for a greeting than other superiors would allow, but Riza surmises that Maes Hughes doesn’t care much for inane rules and pageantry out here. He is not thriving in this environment, merely surviving like her.

“This isn’t about Roy,” he begins, and Riza appreciates the bluntness. “Well, not from him. But I thought we could talk.”

Riza inclines her head to the outer encampment, the side that overlooks into the valley. It’s never as busy here, particularly in the afternoon as the sun sinks down over the mountains and the desert chill begins to set in. “What about?” She will make him work for this conversation. She is well aware of who could – would – be privy to it.

Hughes is quiet for a moment as he leans against one of the tent poles. “I confess I’m curious about the two of you. Roy is fiercely protective of you. Others are beginning to notice.”

“He’s stubborn like that.”

“Is there a reasonable explanation for his behaviour?”

Part of Riza thinks it would be rather funny to divulge her secrets again. Make his power and devastation inert by granting everyone the same ability that he wields so selfishly, covets even more so. But it’s a passing fancy, a fantasy she’ll never get to fully realise, much like the goals she imagines he had in place for her. Hughes has already played some of his cards by investigating what he’s already identified to be Mustang’s weakest link, and Riza feels it’s only fair to work within the estimation he has already formed of her. She will never let her back be used against her again. Major Mustang put paid to that lesson for her.

“His alchemy apprenticeship was a few houses down from where I lived. There weren’t many young people in the village. We were… acquaintances, I suppose,” she begins, testing the words on her tongue. Dylan hadn’t needed a story to assess Major Mustang. He didn’t need to be convinced of anything he couldn’t already surmise from looking at him.

“Perhaps he was sweet on me; I confess I never paid much attention, as my father was a sick man and required almost all of my attention. It was strange to realise that one of the soldiers I saved was someone I knew –” the parapraxis isn’t lost on her but Hughes’ face is impassive, waiting. Either he was a good listener or what he was suspicious of had not been confirmed so far. “ – Maybe it is strange for him too,” she concludes, rubbing the muscle that connects her thumb to the fleshy part of her palm.

Hughes appears to mull over her words. “He must be very sweet on you, then.” There’s a warning nestled in that sentence, an acknowledgment that he caught her use of tense just as he corrects her on which is the truth – what he knows is the truth.

Riza rolls her shoulders slowly. “I wouldn’t assume to know his feelings on the matter. He hasn’t talked to me since our last meeting. In all honesty, Captain, I don’t think there is much to talk about either. We’re just ghosts in each other’s pasts.”

“He doesn’t treat you like a ghost.”

“My spotter has come to calling him that. He always seems to lingering like some forgotten shade.”

Hughes pushes himself off the tent pole he was leaning against, shoving his hands into his pockets. Riza was right, he is a clever man – knows better than to needle someone continually for information they’re not willing to part with yet. His patience would undoubtedly be tempering some of Major Mustang’s worst impulses. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t approached her again.

“I just felt warning you would be the right thing to do,” he says. “Considering I’m now not alone in my understandings.”

Riza blinks slowly. “Thank you for the warning, Captain Hughes,” she replies. He probably thinks he’s being kind, extending a hand to the young ingénue who’s out of her depth in a horror that’s only halfway done. Maybe Major Mustang had crafted that story for Hughes as well; of his role in this story he still seems to be writing. He is the hero. They are the supporting cast as much as the sand they stand on.

I thought you’d wait for me; he had hissed over the campfire at their first meeting.

I thought you’d help people; she had taunted as the embers sunk into the ash.

[moriganstrongheart]

On Firefly, Mediocrity and Problematic Media

When I first set to writing this, I intended to write a review of Firefly. I had recently rewatched Firefly and its tie-in, semi-sequel movie Serenity with my fiancée, and I wanted to express my thoughts on it. But I put the original first draft aside after writing two sentences and did not revisit it until months later. By then, I found I was no longer interested in reviewing Firefly, opting to explore issues of underlying misogyny and mediocrity in media instead. I think that Joss Whedon’s work is a good case study for these problems, as he exists simultaneously as a folk hero of sorts when it comes to speculative fiction, and as the harbinger of the now divisive Marvel Cinematic Universe. And Firefly being so beloved by its fans, I think it's worth diving deep into its problems to illustrate my points.

Perhaps the best way to demonstrate Firefly’s problems is in how it appeals to its fans. While I find the character interactions the best aspect of the show, I’m sure that quite a few fans—primarily young, white males—are attracted to the space western setting of the show and all the trappings that come with it. The Verse is filled with guns, alcohol, rape, savages and prostitutes—everything a new frontier needs, or so I expect is the intent. I don’t think these are ever the focus of the show, nor are they something Whedon ever places on a pedestal as ideals to strive for. But they are a part of the worldbuilding, and so were included with intent. There has been a debate for several years among fans of speculative fiction on whether worlds inspired by historical periods or specific cultures should include these so-called “less favourable” aspects of that period or culture, or if the speculative nature of the fiction should allow for their exclusion. I want to make it clear that I am in the second camp; I don’t believe that just because a fantasy world is set in a medieval time period that women shouldn’t be allowed to be knights, or that aliens or people of colour have to necessarily be slaves in a colonial space opera. It is speculative fiction after all, and we are under no obligation to hold ourselves to any supposed cultural or historical accuracy.

This is, of course, ignoring the fact that the cultural and historical accuracies being strived for have flawed origins, having been decided by academics with their own bias, or even maybe their own agenda. I would make further arguments that historical fiction and literature are themselves often coloured by the author’s intent, and so certain aspects are accentuated while others are ignored or downplayed in order to tell a specific story—often to the detriment of minority groups. It’s impossible to divorce bias from one’s work, no matter how objective the work claims to be. This has been proven time and again, evidenced by the revision of textbooks throughout the years.

Regardless, counter arguments to the exclusion of “less favourable” elements are normally that doing so waters down the source material, diminishing its authenticity and, more interestingly, it represents a disagreeable emotional sensitivity on the part of the opposition. This point of view assumes that the opposition is averse to certain perceived realities in the world, and that the narrative they want to ascribe themselves to would be unrealistic and, as such, not entertaining. In reality, all parties are involved in some form of escapism. The outcry for realism is a smokescreen for the desire to keep a specific form of escapism, one which can only be described as a violent, misogynistic power fantasy. The source of this outcry—again, predominantly young white males—sees the inclusion of bigotry and sexual violence as essential to their viewing experience, as they take enjoyment out of them. That isn’t to say that having violence, sexual themes or social inequality don’t have a place in fiction; they just need to have a purpose. Without purpose, they are only there to service the twisted fantasies of the target audience.

For an example that brings us back to Firefly, it never really feels like Irana’s career as a courtesan serves any other purposes than as an excuse for partial nudity, sex scenes and for Malcolm to call her “whore” on the regular. There are times where her position as a high-ranking courtesan opens doors for the Firefly crew, but this is a contrivance of how courtesans work within the Verse, and not a part of the skillset she has accrued to become a courtesan. The only true exception to this—that I can remember—is her role in grooming the magistrate’s son in the episode Jaynestown, which directly affects the primary conflict. Apart from this instance, none of her meaningful contributions to the plot necessitate her being a courtesan. She could have just as easily been someone with social or political clout. However, this wouldn’t have allowed for her to be the ship’s prostitute, there only to drive Malcolm up the wall and have someone he could call “whore” without guilt. As such, it became necessary for Whedon to not only make her a sex worker, but to create an entire system around her which would give her importance to the plot. In essence, he wanted his cake and eat it too. It’s disappointing, as the idea of having a sex worker being an important member of the main cast is interesting enough as a concept to explore. Ideally, this person would be treated with respect by others for their work, and their value should come from them as a person, not from a fabricated social status.

As a side note, I acknowledge that most people in the show respect Inara, but it is because of her fabricated social status and not because of who she is as a person. The only people who respect her for who she is and what she does are women and the one person of colour on the crew.

There are a lot of other small decisions within Firefly that show Whedon’s intent, such as the characterizations of River’s mental illness and Jayne as a character. I can’t help but wonder if Firefly were produced today on HBO or Netflix, if the showrunners would have allowed the inclusion of far more sexual violence and bigotry in hopes of attracting a larger audience. Because while we have collectively become much more cognizant of issues like diversity and the portrayal of women in media, shows with portrayals of sexual violence and bigotry tend to perform better overall. Unfortunately, the vocal minority shouting their preferences on social media only helps to reinforce this trend.

However, I don’t want to make the wrong impression. Sexism, racism, violence and bigotry are not the focus during Firefly’s runtime. In fact, Whedon generally does a good job of representing healthy relationships, strong female characters and positive representation of people of colour. For example, Zoe and Wash’s relationship is very admirable, and Kaylee is perhaps the best character on the show. The problems exist beneath the surface, informing everything from story conflicts to character motivations. Whedon comes off as a guy just wanting to have some fun, someone who is cool and trendy, just rude enough to be interesting, but knowing where to draw the line. Really though, he’s just the best of a bad lot within the entertainment industry. A lot who are, unsurprisingly, white men catering to their younger selves.

As a white man myself, I am constantly checking myself and the works I create to ensure I am providing a compelling story while avoiding trappings indicative of a male power fantasy. Because of the environment I grew up in, it can be easy to rely on tired old tropes instead of thinking of meaningful and interesting things to write. Does that mean that catering to the needs of a diverse audience is too difficult, and as such, is detrimental to the creative process? I don’t believe so, despite what many may believe. If anything, it forces writers to think of novel, more captivating stories that don’t rely on tropes and power fantasies to work. I believe that the reason people have become so weary of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and similar works is because they all rely on a power fantasy to function. I myself have grown tired of seeing the same story over and over, and it is only in the last decade that I realized the reason for this is that most people behind the works I consume are—again—white males catering to their younger selves.

This has led me to question if it’s right for me to have my voice heard at all. Would I not just be another straight, white male entering a space already filled with the same? Perhaps, but I don’t think the intent of fostering diversity in media is to exclude white people. In fact, if people like Whedon were the worst in terms of what white males have to offer the entertainment industry, I think we’d be in a better place. The problem is that the majority of the media we consume today is problematic and doesn’t allow for any variance from what’s trending among a young white male audience. All I can do is hope that shows like Firefly can be used as a learning experience for creating more compelling and varied stories. Stories should rely on interesting characters, worlds and the interactions in between them to be entertaining, and not on fulfilling the twisted power fantasy of the audience under the guise of realism.

[tetrakys]

Im curious to know which is the aesthetic/appareance you have for your Candy? Like She looks like you(with purple hair,ect..) or you have different Candies with different appareance for every LIs?

I have 9 Candys and they are all very different from each other, some were inspired by my own aesthetic tastes, others are completely different. I don’t usually create OCs now I give specific personalities, but in time I realised that I have a sort of headcanon for my girls. Ever watched Ocean’s 11? One day I started thinking, what if my Candys decided to rob a casino, what would their roles be? So let me introduce you my girls 😁 (in their winter/Christmas style)

Tetrakys1

She’s my first girl, has a classical romantic goth style, lots of corsets and long skirts, jet black hair, eyes and clothes. This is basically what I looked like around when I started playing MCL. She’s Lys’ girl (technically on Rayan’s route now, but only for language convenience, I don’t consider her Rayan’s). She’s the boss, the head of my robbers gang 😃 the brains, she devices the plan and puts together the group.

Tetrakys 2

When I realised I had completely fucked up my chances to get with Castiel because he was such an ass at the beginning in HSL (and at the same time I’d made it to episode 4 and instantly fell in love with Lys), I made another Candy and cheated my way through Pikachu’s heart. She’s the Harley Quinn of the group, punk/rock style, wears lots of red, uses seduction as a weapon, a little unstable, and a real talent with blades 👀 but also poisons, and guns (only when she has to).

Tetrakys3

She’s Nath’s girl, very heavy metal (she’s had purple hair longer than I have), her colour palette includes mostly black and purple. She’s the hacker of the group. I.Q. of 170 and a real genius.

Now, these three ladies are all a combination of my own style and aesthetics. The next ones are very different from me.

Tetrakys4

This was basically the account I had created to keep up with releases on Amour Sucré at the time the other servers were behind. She’s now Priya’s girlfriend (no ex). She’s the most feminine of my Candys, in a more traditional way. Very nurturing and maternal, lots of pastel colours (mostly white, pink and light blue). She’s the one who takes care of everyone else in the gang, the one who makes sure everyone is fed and healthy. She’d also be the medic when things inevitably turn to shit during the heist.

Tetrakys5

She’s Kentin’s girl (currently on Hyun’s route, but again same thing as before applies, I don’t really consider her Hyun’s girlfriend). Her main colours are dark and light blue, and white. Her style is also pretty feminine, bon ton skits, heels and glasses. Almost like a hot secretary, which she kinda is, because she’s the studious, super organised one. She’s the one who takes care of all the practicalities of the heist. For example, they need a black van to escape? She already has three different options lined up and has already studied everything about the best wheels and escape routes. If you ever watched Magicians, she’s basically Alice Quinn in both style and personality.

Tetrakys6

Armin’s girl. She had long light red/orange hair in HS and cut and dyed them pink when she went to uni. She’s kinda of a slob and spends her time lazying around, playing videogames or going out drinking. This is why she’s useful in the gang, she’s basically a social butterfly, she knows everyone everywhere, or she knows someone who knows someone. You need access to the casino? Leave it to her. Need to know about the cleaning company working there in order to infiltrate? She’ll be drinking buddy with half of the staff by the end of the week and gather all the deets. Also pretty good at pick-pocketing. She’s best friend with Tetrakys2 because they both use a sly but different way to get information and target people. She fights all the time with Tetrakys5 because she considers her a stuck-up, borderline OCD know-it-all, while Tetrakys5 thinks she just wastes time all day. Her style is punk/hobo/geek.

Now we get to my currently unactive Candys.

Tetrakys7

She is who I consider Rayan’s girl (and will actually replay his route with her if we ever get the old crushes back). She has a mature and adult style and attitude. For some reason, her whole closet is mostly all shades of green. She’s a master forger, not only she could make an exact replica of any art piece, but she can disguise herself perfectly, blend with the environment and resemble anyone. She’s good friend and confidante with Tetrakys1.

Tetrakys8

She is the muscle of the group. No subtlety at all, she’s very good at bursting her way through using weapons or fists. I created her because I wanted to test what would happen following Castiel’s route as Lysander’s ex. I didn’t even make it to episode 5 because the answer is NOTHING. It’s never acknowledged. Aesthetically I had Beyonce in mind when I created her, but style-wise she’s more sporty and ungraceful. She wears lots of gold, brown and orange.

Tetrakys9

She’s Hyun’s girl and I’m going to use her to replay his route if we ever get the old crushes back. Her style is girly but also womanly, let’s say womanly cute. Lots of grey and yellow. She’s the explosive expert of the gang. Also quite agile, she sneaks into small spaces and makes them kaboooom.

—

And this is it. I probably gave more details than you asked for anon 😅 but I’d had this heist thing on my mind for a while now and had to share.

[palmerasenfuego]

An Open Letter to His Cop Father

My hope is to make clear, maybe for the first time, my perspective on a variety of points of contention between you and me, not so that we can reconcile them necessarily, but so that I won't feel the need to tiptoe around you any more. Addressing this problem I have with codependency and self-censorship has been my task ever since I left my ex, and I think you yourself would agree that in the last year and a half, I have become much more vibrant and present than I ever was as the kowtowed ghost who let his controlling girlfriend dictate the terms of his existence. In the following letter I strove to be unsparing, but only for the sake of clarity. I don't hold any resentment towards you. I want to take ownership of my own role in our dynamic so that we can move into the future, unencumbered.

A few months ago, you and I argued over my career with regard to the classes I plan on taking for my Masters in library science. After we'd each calmed down, you said that you were only suggesting I keep my options open, as we'd both noted that the future of public libraries, and indeed social services generally, is uncertain at best and possibly doomed. You merely meant to suggest that I look into classes that would prepare me for information career opportunities in the private sector, in the probable case that public libraries no longer exist in the future.

At the time I didn't want to argue any more, and I agreed that you had made good points. I would keep my options open. What you didn't understand, however, was that I only grew "defensive" about my plans after I thought I presented them as exactly what you claimed to be suggesting—that is, I would look into a variety of library and information science related fields while keeping my focus, somewhat idealistically, on public libraries. But then you interjected, as you so often do, with all the reasons why my plan might not be such a great idea. Had I considered the uncertain future of public libraries? (Of course I had.) Wouldn't a librarianship at a prestigious museum be a more stable and lucrative career? (Maybe, but nothing's a safe bet.) 

Because I stood my ground, because I intend to fight for what I believe in while I still can, you accused me of being 'defensive.' There's always an underlying tension between us, you said, which is something I don't deny. Why do I always seem resentful? you asked. You accused me of only viewing you as a resource to draw on without any care for you as my father, a totally unfair and manipulative thing to say of your son who followed you and your other son for a decade, watching you coach his brother’s baseball team, without him; your son who desperately wished his father understood his art and literature recommendations, but knows they'll usually go unheeded; your son who, despite knowing what his father did to his mother, and resenting that his father won't speak with his mother at all, still loves his father. 

You can't seem to recognize sometimes that your mistakes could have had any effect on the way you and I relate, and I think you think any antagonism between us is me blindly rebelling, an absurd image to have of me, the most docile black sheep any flock has ever had. To be clear, what causes the tension between us is a feeling in me that I won't even be heard if you've previously decided you're in the right. So rather than speak up, I generally keep my mouth shut, which is not healthy for me, nor is it productive of the kind of relationship I'd hope to have as an adult with my father. 

You would prefer that I not stake my future on public librarianship, because you would not do that. Therefore, I shouldn't do that. I don't care whether you disagree with me. Ultimately, none of this letter is about convincing you of anything. What I want to address is that I have never felt like my voice would be heard, by you or anyone, really, which is in part a result of having my perspective so often subjected to critical (over)analysis from you, as in our argument over public libraries. Or, it’s a result of having my enthusiasm mocked anytime you and my brother didn't appreciate something I did. 2001: A Space Odyssey is a masterpiece of American art, and you Philistines didn't watch more than 15 minutes of it, but to this day you make fun of me for wanting to watch it with you. 

When we had disagreements over any supposed transgression on my part, you quickly dropped the pretense towards being a concerned parent to assume your interrogation persona, with me the guilty-until-proven-innocent suspect. One of the oldest tricks to get someone to fess up is asking the same question several times, forcing the suspect to repeat their story. Any time you seemed suspicious I wasn't answering your questions straight, it would be "You sure? Positive? Nothing else?" The only thing missing was the aluminum chairs and the spotlight in my face. All disagreements were structured this way, with you above, already having the answers, and me below, forced to acquiesce to the judgement presumed. Attempts to defend myself when I felt I was unfairly accused were met with the reprimand to not "talk back," something I've internalized deeply, corrosively, finding myself drawn, in friendships and in love, to those who shout me down or laugh me out. As a result, my natural cowardice and timidity have festered for years.

You have long urged me, since childhood, to be more assertive, less passive, to stop "playing the victim," and these were not unfair or inaccurate criticisms. Like Kafka with his father, none of this is to say I blame you for the effect you've had on me and my inability to speak up. I was a timid child, easily influenced by social pressure and a need for approval, most especially from you. From my child's view I was enamored of what you seemed to represent, which I suppose is unremarkable, as sons and fathers go. Perhaps also unremarkable of fathers and sons is how elusive your approval seemed to be. There was never outright disapproval of me from you, and I always knew you "supported" me. But let's not pretend like we at times did not and do not appear alien to one another. Which is normal, healthy, so long as it's accepted, because we’re separate people, but the trouble fathers and sons get into is they each seek validation from the other—the father struggles to impose his own standards on the son and see his progeny flourish as so judged by the standards imposed, and the son seeks to establish himself as his own person, separate but unable to escape the looming shadow of his father, the son's primary model for what a person is.

One instance where I probably tried to voice an objection to your discipline, an instance where I knew the gravity of the issue you wanted to convey but disagreed that what I'd done deserved such a strong reprimand from you, was when I drew a Klansman in my notebook, being the bored and doodling 8th grade boy that I was, watching a documentary about the Klan in history class. I wasn't approving of the Klan by drawing a man in a pointed hood, but to your credit, you saw an opportunity to make clear the need to take seriously the violence and oppression that African-Americans have faced in this country, and to never trivialize symbols of that violence and hatred. (Fatefully, I was similarly firmly scolded by my mom when she saw a swastika in one of my notebooks, which is when I learned my Polish grandmother escaped the Nazis as a small child in the belly of a freight ship, traumatized by the sight of dead stowaways floating past her, and this after the death of her brother at the hands of fascist thugs.)

When the black community today raises the cry "Black Lives Matter," what they want is a reckoning from American society for the way that black life has historically been deemed disposable. Africans were ripped from their mother country, brutalized on a treacherous trans-Atlantic voyage, and sold off in a land where the climate and environment were entirely alien, their various languages as unintelligible to one another as to their masters. They were subjected to centuries of horrific slavery, whippings, rape, and familial rupture. Any who managed to escaped their bondage risked dogged, murderous pursuit by slave patrols. The de facto opponents of slavery won a civil war and slavery was abolished, and for another century black people were terrorized with lynchings by whites (who were never prosecuted), all while being denied economic opportunity and treated as less-than-second-class citizens in public spaces, not to mention suffering a complete lack of political representation. It wasn't until 1968 that the political rights of African-Americans were codified into federal law, but the mere granting of rights does nothing to address the long term devastation wrought on the black community, which built this country for free, this country that so long denied them not only equal rights and opportunity, but denied them their humanity. And to this day, black people go murdered, in broad daylight, in their cars, or while they sleep, both by the police and by others, without justice. "Black Lives Matter" needs to be said because American society does not seem to acknowledge that black life matters, despite America's lofty ideals for itself as a place of equal protection under the law. If black lives matter, then all lives matter, but not all lives matter until black lives matter. 

Saying "Blue Lives Matter" is to be presented with that history, turn it around and say "Yeah, well what about us cops?" No one chooses to be black; all cops choose to be cops. If you want the profession of policing to have the respect you demand people give it, then cops should be aware what they're signing up for: a thankless, demoralizing job that answers to the public, and not the other way around. To say "My job is hard so we matter too!" when, after centuries of oppression, the black community says, "Our lives matter!" is a gross exercise in bad faith. This is why "Blue Lives Matter" is offensive, utterly bankrupt beyond the expression of resentment towards an imagined enemy. American society has no doubts about the value of the lives of police officers. What easier way is there to bring the full force of the American justice system, with a swift investigation and aggressive prosecution, than to murder a cop? The justice system has time and again demonstrated the societal value of police officers' lives. The same can not be said of black lives, which is why "Blue Lives Matter" is far more trivializing of the racism still faced by black people in America than some 13-year-old kid's drawing of a Klansman.  

Part of me worries that writing this is futile, that you'll see this as another instance of me "talking back," i.e. saying what challenges your airtight prosecutor's argument. Another part of me thinks what I’m saying resonates with your bedrock American and Catholic values. After all, I had to get my principles from somewhere. But if this doesn't move you, I will rest well knowing that at the very least I'm not shutting myself up any more, and that I'll finally be coming to you as a man and not as your child, facing you squarely, head no longer bowed.

I love you.

[eidolonlathi]

Sokabe’s wider Role in the Story

Taken it’s been many solid chapters since he has disappeared from the manga, I thought it fitting to have a closer look at the role Sokabe used to have in the story.

I miss Sokabe. As long as he was still around in the manga, the dynamics in Team Tosaki (and the fractions bordering next to it) were still uncertain and it was always fun to witness how they would develop next. Since Sokabe is gone this energy has become kind of... stale. If you have a great antagonistic character don't make them leave too early.

What makes a character an antagonist in this manga’s mess of motivations and ambitions set on the grey scale though? I always viewed him to be the different side of the same coin as Tosaki: Just as much driven by ambition, just as ruthless in his approach. All while showing to have enough patience and foresight to plan in a long time manner, thus becoming an element one couldn’t dismiss in its potential to bring in unexpected positive or negative dynamics that carry gravity. And yet: Despite his wish to win over Tosaki’s position of job, Sokabe proved himself to be reliable, the messenger link keeping Tosaki connected to his position once his place on the hit list had forced him into hiding. Gradually Sokabe earned his part in the story and the periphery of Tosaki’s team: For a long time he kept providing support and information despite Tosaki’s fall from favour in the eyes of their superiors.

Proving to stay useful like this might have been fuelled by Sokabe’s own ambition, but Tosaki never made a secret he viewed him with contempt, letting this bias influence his treatment of him. Yet he had no hesitation using him whenever it was convenient – demanding him to participate in risky tasks like digging up information about Sato’s background (that at this late stage of the manga might prove to be crucial). Sokabe openly stated it would bring him into trouble should it be known that he had shared this knowledge. So, motivation aside, Sokabe deserves respect and at least some recognition for remaining this patient when constantly getting confronted with this kind of capricious whims.

I also have the impression he genuinely felt supportive towards Tosaki’s goals up to a certain point. Because that’s it: Sure, he had a rivalry dynamic with Tosaki going on, but once matters got serious and counted, Sokabe always proved to be reliable. Yet Tosaki made the impression he was not only taking Sokabe’s help for granted but at the same time acted dismissive towards him. Everyone would grow tired of that at some point.

Chapter 53 reflections: Tosaki getting a call from his mysterious secretary, speaking with them. Once upon a time, I was hoping for mystery secretary to show up for real in some panels. It felt like they could have been an interesting addition to the plot, bringing all kinds of fresh dynamics into it. Because given the fact Sokabe later explicitly pointed out that he hired one, instead of just getting a nebulous phone call informing him about what Tosaki had done to the secret data, it didn’t seem random. I could only assume their presence had gotten introduced for some kind of reason.

But, with this plot thread leaving left hanging empty and leading to nowhere since many chapters, I guess we won’t hear any more concerning that subject. Which would be a missed chance, really. With Sokabe framed in the position of an antagonist towards side Tosaki, it would have been interesting to see him humanized a bit, by showing that despite his unapologetic approach and motivation he still had people in his life caring about him –like a subordinate he got along well with- instead of going the safe and convenient route and showing the baddie is liked by none. It would also have added an interesting layer on his repeated comparisons with Tosaki (them looking vaguely alike is no coincidence), showing that both men might be able to commit heinous deeds but at the same time are able to care for people in their lives. Proving like this that the capability to commit evil acts wears no easily recognizable face (but that it sometimes may wear glasses).

Sokabe pointing out Tosaki’s inability to let go of the wish to return into the familiarity of his old life despite already having wilfully committed heinous deeds is framed as him being the antagonistic part here. But honestly, keeping in mind the atrocities we already saw Tosaki commit: Sokabe has a point here. With the manga speeding on Tosaki’s redemption in his final chapters, instead of following the more time-intense path of the gradual betterment he already had started walking -even going so far as to retcon his repeated threats towards Izumi as holding no weight- the story also tried to make a point that Tosaki is supposed to be the lesser evil than Sokabe. Which he really isn’t. Both were willing to use the suffering of ajin used for experiment for their personal gain, with the difference that Tosaki tried telling himself he did it for a good reason, using the illness of his fiancée Ai as an excuse, even though she once told him explicitly she didn’t wish for him to go down an questionable path should he ever feel pressured to do so. Sokabe on the other hand uses no such excuse, ironically appearing as the one staying more true to himself here by not explaining away his readiness to go down dark paths for the sake of reaching his own goals.

Soon after the glove panels the action in the main timeline intensified fast and Tosaki suddenly saw the need to kill Sokabe, getting wounded deadly himself in the process. All this for the sake of trying to prove that Tosaki never had been a real threat to Izumi and had been on her side all along. Frankly? It would have been more impactful if Tosaki would have been on Izumi’s side despite him intimidating her in the past, despite him holding data about her able to reveal her status as an ajin should she ever stop standing in his favour. That would have been a meaningful redemption. Tosaki already showed potential for change and even regret – seeing him earn a change would have felt more rewarding than seeing him being forced by canon to backpedal on his past flaws entirely, on top of this being allowed to find a quick solution in death, escaping any incoming conflict caused by his acts for good. Through the story he proved ready to act ruthless for the sake of reaching his own goals many times. On a more complex note, this also made it more meaningful once he lessened his harsh treatment towards Izumi, him starting to treat her more humane: Implying that though he stayed ready to keep using other ajin, interacting on a daily base with her wasn’t letting him stay unaffected. This slow redemption and thus humanization of his was one of the more engaging parts of the manga, and I’m disappointed that after a strong start it got rushed, letting it end in a manner not feeling true to what we encountered at the beginning.

What we got instead was a rushed solution for the sake of redeeming Tosaki quick. During the Iruma base arc, we’ve seen Sokabe imply he knew about Izumi’s status as ajin and that he would have been ready to use this as a threat to keep her in line, once Tosaki would have been out of the way. So, in other words, we’ve seen him do the exact kind of intimidation Tosaki used against Izumi. But instead of acknowledging Tosaki’s past flaws, it was retconned as him never having possessed intentions to reveal information about her at all, his threats supposed having been empty all along. More, Izumi no longer was allowed to hold conflicting feeling towards the man who gave her a second chance at a point life had already robbed her of everything (at that time out of purely self-serving motivations, not because he cared about her personally, make no mistake) but at the same time had the habit to threaten her into compliance: The manga lets her claim she “knew all along” about his threats being empty, letting her thank him instead for everything he “did for her”: Thus reducing her struggle to stay safe in an hostile environment that could turn on her any time as her playing along in a connection of mutual convenience she never had the need to feel in danger. All of this for the sake of rushing the final confrontation between Tosaki and Sokabe into a quick solution: Reducing Sokabe from skilled schemer to moustache twirling cartoon villain who is suddenly wielding a narcotic gun, oh so heroically getting taken out by Tosaki, who went from ruthless opportunist who slowly experienced a change of mind to a player only holding a bluff of cards in his hand, never having needed the redemption he already had started earning. For the sake of protecting sudden damsel in distress Izumi (female characters only allowed to act badass when convenient) who is no longer allowed to hold her own complex motivations and grievances, but now got reduced to another prop supposed to support Tosaki’s softened origins. (Sadly the story isn’t giving us time to dwell on this, as she is already kept busy again with having to cater towards demanding and ungrateful manchildren who are making no secret they’re taking her for granted.)

I can only assume letting the started redemption of Tosaki -his mending of his relationship with Izumi- letting reach its organic end would have taken too much development. Time the manga wasn't willing to give this plotline, so it got speeded along by simplifying and outright retconning already established circumstances. These three characters would have deserved better. But sadly it is unlikely we’re getting much more on that front: Tosaki getting wounded deadly erases the question how his and Izumi’s complicated relationship might develop further. (Him letting his fiancée join in death also erases the question what she would have said finding out her boyfriend went against her wishes to not engage in questionable actions should circumstances ever pressure him. On top of this him justifying his actions by stating he committed them for her sake only.) With Sokabe also dead he no longer poses an uncertain force towards what is left of Team Tosaki – be it as a potential threat or as source of unexpected support, making the final showdown between these manga’s two opposing sides less uncertain and thus sadly much more predictable.

[itsgonnabe-brian-may]

hands

Joe Mazzello x reader

wc: 2.1k

warnings: angst & fluff, mentions of blood, mentions of violence, police,

//Please read at your own risk, it's nothing too graphic but could be upsetting and I really don't want to upset anyone. Also, anything remotely graphic will be after a Keep Reading note, but there is foreshadowing at the very beginning.

✦✧✦✧

The only thing you could focus on was your hands.

They were shaking. Shaking more than they would when hyped up on caffeine. Sure there was a lot more you could focus on besides your hands. Like the blue lights flashing in your peripheral vision. Or the unfamiliar voice in your ear. Or the sting of pain every time you moved your mouth. Or the weight of a blanket draped on your shoulders. Or the wind that was piercing through your thin jumper and leggings. Yet, all you could focus on was your hands. Oh, how you wished Joe's hands would reach out and hold onto them until they stopped.

Instead, his hands were mindlessly tapping on the steering wheel along to a song he would later turn off immediately if it played on the radio. The only thing he could focus on was the smell of Chinese food that wafted throughout his car. The flashing red and blue lights that sped past him meant nothing. It was New York City, cops were part of the environment. The brief acknowledgment towards the cop cars speeding past brought up memories of when Y/N first arrived in NYC.

Flashback

"Joe, what kind of neighborhood do you live in? I thought you said it was safe, " you asked concern written all over your face.

"What do you mean?" He asked looking up from the lunch menu.

"There are so many-," You began to say but a siren followed by flashing lights sped by, so you just nodded towards the street. ",-cops"

"You shouldn't have anything to worry about unless you're a criminal... Oh, you're a criminal aren't you?" Joe asked raising a brow, biting back a smirk.

"No! I'm offended you thought I could ever do something illegal," you gasped placing a hand on your heart to show how much offense you took. "You're the one that they're really after, I'm just the distraction," you winked.

From that day on you and Joe would always joke around that the police were out to get the other. Joe would tackle you and pin your arms behind your back so that the police would "have an easier time". You always gently pushed Joe towards the cop car and yelled,

"Run Joe, run before they catch you." Though you could never get through the sentence without laughing.

The joke even went so far as you guys dressing up as Bonnie and Clyde for one of Bohemian Rhapsody's Cast's Halloween parties, and when Ben showed up as a cop and 'arrested' Joe you lost it. Ben just ended up handcuffing Joe to him for the entire night, which ruined your "couple" costume but made Ben's a whole lot better. There was definitely a few posts about it on Instagram. No one could get enough.

It was after that night you realized you had a crush on Joe. Mazzello seemed to fit perfectly in place of L/N. Of course, nothing was done about the crush. Both of you were afraid of ruining what you had.

End Flashback

A phone call brought Joe's attention back to reality. The phone could wait, Chinese food could not. Again. And Again. After the fourth time, he hastily picked up. He always hated being on the phone while driving.

"Hello," he said pressing the phone to his ear.

"Hey, Joe, I just wanted to let you know that you got the role!" his manager said cheerfully.

"What no way! I'm driving right now but I'll call you back as soon as I get home!" Joe said hanging up. Now he was even more ecstatic to get back to the apartment and tell you. You had been solely platonic roommates for 6 months now, and always the first person to find out each other's new roles. Originally you had come to audition for roles in movies and Joe, who you had met on the set of Bohemian Rhapsody, had offered to let you stay at his apartment. It was only supposed to last 2 weeks for auditions. But after that random Wednesday night, you were in 'The Big Apple' for another 6 months at least. When Joe's lease ran out, you found an apartment to share and the rest had been history. Of course, living with someone lead to learning a lot more about them than you had wanted, but neither of you was bothered by the newfound knowledge. However, both of you never figured out that the other shared the same nonplatonic feelings.

Joe had been trying to figure out when and if he could ask you out on a proper date, this was his idea. Chinese food and a movie, with a small bouquet of flowers to make it official. If it all backfired he could say the flowers were for the apartment. Right?

His thumbs tapped the steering wheel quicker, the radio still off from his phone call. The sounds of sirens ringing in his ears. Not-unusual for a Friday.

Parking in an empty spot a block down the street he was too caught up in hunger and anxiety that he failed to notice the blue lights flashing in his peripheral vision.

After that everything seemed to move at lightning speed and slow motion at the same time. The flowers in his hands dropped on the pavement. They landed with a bounce that sent yellow and white petals flying. The distinct crinkle of the wrapping filled the air as a passing car's wheels crushed the flowers further into the asphalt. His hands flew at miraculous speeds whipping out his phone speed dialing your number.

Every sense coursing through his body was heightened. The feeling of his phone pressed against his ear. The ringing tone bore through his skull. His feet pounded on the street. Your voicemail message making the knot in his stomach grow. He thought he was going to puke.

'Take care of it after you know Y/N is okay," he thought. Knowing you had done the same for him.

Flashback

"jOeY," Y/N called, clearly tipsy but still extremely worried.

He was on the ground, his head throbbed. Why? He couldn't tell you. Later he found out it was because the table he and Ben were dancing on had tipped sending both flyings. Yet, the concussion he had was attended too by Y/N before she dealt with her food poisoning.

End Flashback

Arriving at the apartment building was overwhelming. The yellow police tape was bright enough to give him a headache. The lights sure weren't helping. His eyes strained trying to find you. Dozens of people and law enforcement officers were there. Everyone with Y/H made his heart skip a beat in anticipation. He ran a hand through his hair still whipping his head around in all directions. Your number ringing again and again on the phone in his hand that was practically glued to his right ear.  

The sight of a frantic redhead caught the attention of an officer who explained that an apartment had been broken into, and he would be able to return to his apartment in about an hour or so.

"My girlfriend," Joe panicked, not registering what words had come out of his mouth.

"Sir-"

"She was in our apartment, hasn't picked up her phone, I was gone for like twenty minutes, getting food, Whose apartment was it? Was anyone hurt? Oh, and I got flowers, yellow ones, and white ones, but I dropped them" He rambled to the officer, still looking for your figure among the crowds.

"Sir, it was 239 C"

Those words made him freeze,

"Oh, god. That's ours,"

"Sir, come with me," The officer said whilst lifting up the obnoxious yellow tape. Motioning him to follow.

You were sitting on the front steps of the apartment complex. Your phone buzzed in your lap, Joe still hadn't hung up, but you were to numb to notice the vibrations. Your mind still fixated on the shake of your hands. A pair of strong hands over yours had snapped you out of your daze. Your wish had been answered.

"Y/N?" Joe asked nervously as he kneeled on the pavement, his jeans not providing much protection from the rough concrete, but it was a minute detail that didn't matter. The only thing that did matter, was the feeling of your hand's under his.

"Joe," you said letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding.

"I-I - you're okay," He whispered looking up at you.

"Yeah, the EMT's cleared me," you responded quietly looking back at him. You were clearly not at your best but it didn't matter, it was Joe. You had walked into the intruder leaving, they did nothing but push you into the room on top of glass shards before sprinting away. The cut above your eyebrow and on your lip were only superficial and didn't need stitches. Overall you were okay. Especially now that Joe was here.

With the assurance that you were okay, there was no hesitation. One hand stayed on yours the other gently moved to your chin. At the same time, one of yours moved with to touch his on your chin. He leaned in gently. Carefully and sweetly kissing you. It seemed as if your lips were molded to fit together. His were soft. So were yours, despite the cut. After what felt like an eternity he pulled back so that your foreheads were touching. "You're okay," he repeated one more time breathlessly.

"I am Joe, I am more than okay," You said with a tight-lipped smile.

After staying like that for a while until Joe slowly stood up,

"Come on, let's get you out of here, we can deal with all of this in the morning," Joe said, still not letting go of your hand.

"Where?" You asked, not in the right mindset to think about it.

"I'll call Rami, don't worry about it," he said reassuringly waiting while you stood.

The pace back to his car was slow, meandering. Your hands still connected as they swung gently with the momentum of your walk. The flowers were still there. Still crushed, though they had been embedded further into the asphalt by the weight of cars. Joe's eyes glanced at them, their meaning still there, yet they were no longer needed. He was sure that the flowers wouldn't change the outcome of the night.

Your hands broke briefly as you climbed in respective seats in the car. Joe dialed Rami's number as your hands reconnected over the center console. Instead of tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel his free hand's thumb rubbed over your knuckles. Silence filling the atmosphere with a sense of calm and affection that would have been ruined by the 90's rap that was constantly blasting in Joe's car.

The second time your hand's drifted apart that night was when you had arrived at Rami's apartment in a suburb outside of New York. Lucy and Rami went out to embrace the two of you. Lucy’s arms wrapped around your shoulders gently as you walked up the stairs. No one really talked about details, they were just glad to see you okay. 

It was late. It had to be around 11:45, but you paid no attention to the time. The entire night had been a blur and you were ready to go to bed.

Soon you were in a borrowed sweatshirt, which Lucy swore was hers, but you knew it was Rami's. Thankfully he was too tired to say anything about it. The dining room had been made into a makeshift bedroom like it had been hundreds of times when the cast was too drunk to drive home. Two air mattresses with matching duvet sets, certainly from IKEA replaced the table and chairs. Lucy had kissed your cheek goodnight and placed a knowing hand on Joe's shoulder before the actual official couple returned to their room.

"Hey," you spoke up softly looking up at Joe.

He was probably telling the rest of the boys what had happened. You could never be too careful, you could never know if your address was leaked or if it was pure chance that it was your apartment broken into.

However, at the sound of your voice, Joe placed the phone down and sat next to you. The air mattress shifted sending you two a little closer.

"Hey," he responded looking at you with the softest expression you had ever seen. He clearly cared. "Still doing okay?" he asked searching your expression for pain or fear.

"Yea, especially now that you're here," you responded leaning your head on his shoulder.

If he was taken back by your action, Joe didn't show it. He pressed a kiss to your temple, whispering sweet nothings into your hair. Mostly to himself, but you heard it. Soon he was holding you in his arms, your head on his chest, your hands intertwined once again. You had fallen asleep long ago, Joe, however, was soaking in the affection like it was the last time, which it most certainly wasn't. Both of your prayers had been answered, your hands had found their way into his.

[bethkerring]

Book Review: The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy

I’ll be completely honest: a good part of the reason I decided to read Mackenzi Lee's The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue is because I wanted to read the sequel. In the end, I adored Gentleman’s Guide and ranted on as such in my review, but still, the first thing I did when I finished it was to put in a hold at my library for The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy.

Warning: this review will inevitably contain spoilers for Gentleman’s Guide, but I’ll try to keep them to a minimum.

Lady’s Guide isn’t a sequel in the most traditional sense, as instead of following the continued escapades of Monty and Percy, the two main characters from the original, it branches off into the adventures of Felicity Montague, Monty’s younger sister, a year after the end of the first book. Lady’s Guide follows Felicity as she pursues her dream of becoming a doctor, struggling to push past the raging sexism of her time period and hunting down her idol, Dr. Alexander Platt, in the hopes of working at his side. But of course, nothing is ever simple for the Montague siblings, and Felicity finds herself in a greater mess than she had ever anticipated, complete with pirates, legends come to life, and an estranged childhood friend.

The first thing that drew me to Lady’s Guide—and, in fact, to Gentleman’s Guide—was the fact that Felicity is canonically both aromantic and asexual, a rare character trait in contemporary fiction and even rarer in historical novels. Though the topic was only briefly touched upon in Gentleman’s Guide, I was impressed by the respectful and accurate portrayal and eager to see how Felicity’s orientation would be expanded upon in her own story.

And as expected, the representation of asexuality was even better than the taste I got in the original book. Though Felicity’s asexuality is far from the main topic of the story, it plays an important role, and is both questioned and explained in ways that seem both historically realistic and accurate to modern experience. Even people who support Felicity’s dream of becoming a doctor find it confusing that she has no interest in romance or sex. This is further compounded by the challenges women faced making a life on their own in the 1700s: an English woman had limited career prospects, and marriage was, for many, if not most, the only way to have a comfortable life. So Felicity faces not just the sort of judgment that many asexuals face today—the confusion, and even concern, over not having “someone by your side” in a romantic and/or sexual sense—but a fear that, if she rejects romance entirely, she will have no way to support herself.

Lady’s Guide also continues to explore Felicity’s confusion regarding attraction in general, a topic initially touched upon in Gentleman’s Guide. Though Felicity understands the basic concept of romance and sex, it’s foreign to her, and that makes it even more difficult for her to understand and accept her brother’s romantic relationship with Percy. Views toward homosexuality in eighteenth century England were, of course, far from favorable, but despite Felicity’s open mind and understanding toward various marginalized groups, it takes her longer to accept this, since she doesn’t have the framework of her own attraction to start with.

However, as exceptional as asexuality was represented in this story, sexism and the wide range of women’s struggles absolutely take center stage. It is, after all, the primary obstacle to Felicity attaining her dream. But again, Lady’s Guide goes above and beyond the standard. Of course, Felicity experiences a great deal of sexism, and is told over and over again, by a wide range of men, that she can never be a doctor simply because of her gender: that she is inferior, overemotional, and unintelligent, among other common insults. But no matter how often these prejudices come up, what strikes me most is how the story presents sexism as it affects women themselves: their identities, their views of the world, and their relationships with other women.

Though Felicity is without a doubt determined and able to withstand many of the insults and discouraging remarks thrown her way, she isn’t immune to doubting herself. The environment she’s grown up in has had a strong effect on her, and there are quite a few moments where she thinks that maybe what everyone says is right: she can’t reach her goals simply because she’s a woman. I rarely see this combination of strength and weakness, as well as the acknowledgement that even those marginalized people who stand strong for their rights sometimes doubt themselves, and that being told, over and over again, that you are inferior can easily lead you to believe you really are.

Lady’s Guide also shows how this internalized sexism affects Felicity’s views of other women in her life. Felicity has come to view conventional expressions of femininity—especially cosmetics and fancy outfits—as a weakness, since she believes that men will not take a woman seriously unless she adopts a more conventionally masculine appearance. This leads her to judge women who express themselves this way and to distance herself from them, defining herself as “different” and “separate” from other women because of her own expression. She has come to believe that she is one of the only women like herself, and tends to prejudge women she meets without considering that they might have dreams just as strong as her own, even if they express themselves differently than she does.

But this book shines in how it both acknowledges and subverts these views, showing that all ways a woman might express her identity are valid, whether she doesn’t wear cosmetics at all and doesn’t care about her outfits or whether she takes pride in frilly dresses and carefully-applied makeup. Just because a woman expresses herself in a way that fits with traditional gender roles does not mean that expression is wrong.

This, to me, is one of Lady’s Guide’s strongest points: how it allows both women and men to both fit into gender roles and completely subvert them. Men can rescue women, but women can also rescue men. Women can be emotional and compassionate, but men can be as well. Neither feminine nor masculine traits are “wrong,” regardless of the person who is expressing them, and a single person can embody both.

Finally, this book exemplifies one of my favorite concepts in fiction: the value and strength of platonic relationships. Felicity, being aromantic and asexual, doesn’t have a love interest, but even several characters who do feel attraction have stronger platonic bonds than romantic. Though Felicity relies so heavily on herself when the story begins, feeling that she has to be as independent as possible to reach her dream, it is the relationships she shares with her friends and family that turn out to be one of her greatest strengths. This exemplifies the fact that she is no worse off because of her lack of romantic attraction, and she won’t be condemned to a life alone because she doesn’t have a partner. She has people she loves who love her in return, and to me, it is those relationships that make Lady’s Guide a truly moving story.

If you enjoyed The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue, I feel confident you’ll enjoy Lady’s Guide. Even if you just read the first book for the adorable gay love story—a perfectly valid reason—I still highly recommend the second. Lady’s Guide might follow in the footsteps of its predecessor, but it still holds its own, and is just as worth a read.

Original post on my website.

[crisspezmemories]

ring on her finger

a/n: woo first fic in a long time! this is my third time trying to post this, so this better work. this is a four part fic, but I put it all in one post for convenience. you can also find it split into chapters on ao3 here.

this fic was based on a request including the song marry me by thomas rhett, requested by @crisspezorwtv! the fic goes along the course of the song, so i’d only listen to it after you’re done reading to avoid spoilers.

i’ve only had the time to skim through and make minor edits, but i hope you guys enjoy!

Night eased onto the city as the pair of lovers gazed on the decorated balcony. Few stars dotted the sky in the midst of the urban setting, but the ones that did burned bright.

Darren fumbled with the inside pocket of his coat for the umpteenth time- briefly securing a square object in his palm. He was certain that he’d brought his romantic scenario to life.

The light from the candles behind them illuminated Lauren’s figure in such a way that she appeared chiseled; a carved sculpture of a goddess standing before him. Darren couldn’t help but be proud of his successful setup, especially taking note of how Lauren’s favorite flowers in a vase by the dinner table was a nice touch.

The scene seemed as if it was ripped from a romance novel, but in Darren’s defense, it’s where he did a good amount of researching.

He inhaled, making sure to take a mental picture of the sight in front of him.

Breathe out.

“It’s pretty cool how much power the stars hold”, he started, locking eyes with Lauren to ensure her attention.

“There’s the sun, giving us light, giving us warmth, giving us life...In fact, one could say you do the same for me”.

Lauren chuckled nervously, flashing an uneasy smile. “Darren, what are you-”

Tension rose in the air, causing Lauren to worriedly glance around the balcony.

Darren grinned, getting on one knee and quickly retrieving the small box from his jacket and presenting it in front of her. Realization dawned on Lauren’s complexion, arms hugging her chest as the gears shifted in her head.

“Lauren, in more ways than one, you are the muse in my life...I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else, and that’s the only way it’ll ever be. Cheesy, I know…” he admitted, letting out a small laugh. He gradually opened the velvet box, his hands shaking, to reveal an artisan diamond ring embedded inside the cushions.

“Lauren Elizabeth Lopez, will you marry me?”

One beat.

Two beats.

Three beats.

“Darren, I can’t do this.”, she quietly said, her voice broken.

He hears the words, but it doesn’t hit.

“I’m not ready- we’re not ready for this, Darren, I-”

“Lauren-”

“There’s too much pressure- too much stress, I just...when’s the next time I’ll even get to see you after this?”, she argued, breathing rapidly as she closed her eyes to think.

Darren stood up, reaching to cup her face in his hands.”We can make this work, I promise.”

An uncomfortable pause settles as they acknowledge it wasn’t a promise he knew he could keep, existing to be broken like the others.

She opened her eyes, avoiding his own. “I’m sorry Darren, I just- I can’t be with you anymore.”

She was gone in a minute, as if the wind swept her away.

And then there was only Darren, left in the remnants of the evening.

Alone.

---

Guests chattered and champagne glasses clinked.

The party had begun just moments ago, visitors pooling into the modest apartment. It was a smaller party, confined of people from local distances and a few close friends from afar. Excitement is present in the air for the new beginnings that were to come, the environment light and pleasant.

Several congratulations are echoed across the room by friends and family alike- only rejoice for the new engagement that had only occurred a few weeks prior.

It’s only when Lauren steps out that Darren does also, closing the door behind him.

“Hi,” she says shyly, preferring to look at the ground or anywhere else.

“Hey,” he replies, planting his arms on the railing as he leans back.

“Congratulations”, he says, a crooked smile suited on his face.

“Thanks”, Lauren responds with a half-hearted smile.

Darren can’t help but notice the silver ring on her finger, frowning at the fact that it could’ve been his.

“Soon to be Mrs. Richter, huh? I wouldn’t have seen that coming if you asked me back in college.”

“It is what it is,” she jokes, attempting to filter the unsettling tension. “and are you Mr. Best man?”

Darren shook his head, crossing his arms. “Figured I shouldn’t take it since I’m lined up for Walker’s. Either way, I couldn’t bring myself to...I think you know.”

Lauren nods, and it’s silent for a moment.

“Did you bring Mia with you?”

Darren sighs, turning to look at Lauren. “We broke up about a month ago. It didn’t feel right. Shitty or not, I can’t say I miss it”, he admits, a twinge of guilt his voice. “Two years running. It felt like a chore at this point.”

“I could tell she didn’t make you happy.”, she says, regretting them the words as they were delivered. It was testing the waters, if anyone were cross them.

The words wanting to be heard are left unsaid, if they were even worth saying at all. It’s quiet for a moment before Darren responds.

“About earlier...I always thought it would be Criss,” he says sheepishly, avoiding her gaze.

“God, I…Don’t take that the wrong way. I’m really happy for you, Lo. You found someone that makes you happier than I ever could, and that’s all that really matters to me.”

“I’m sorry for that night, Darren. If I could go back, make things different…” She blinks back the tears, looking in his eyes and finds them looking for answers.

“Don’t be.”

He gives her a sad smile, nodding a quick goodbye as he ducks back inside.

It’s when Lauren and Joey are herded back together for celebration when she realizes Darren wasn’t among the faces in the crowd.

---

Darren double-checked the address of the wedding, adjusting his tie as he stepped out of his car.

It’s a last-minute decision to go.

His excuse that work may prevent him had gone to waste, but it allowed him to dodge the role as a groomsman at the very least. He grabs his present his gift from the passenger seat, shutting the door and navigating his way towards the location.

Darren stops when he sees Lauren in her wedding dress, a bright smile on her face as she greets the guests.

It doesn’t hit him, and then it does.

It’s as if conscience takes over him as he realizes what’s taking place.

He wants to spit out every little feeling he’s had, every thought, every question.  Only moments left to tell her everything he never said, and everything he wishes he did. It’s now or never, and the I still love you at the tip of his tongue never felt so right.

It’s one of his best friend’s weddings.

Instead, he walks back towards his car.

---

The unease only strikes Lauren before it’s almost too late.

Lauren’s father flashes a worried smile, locking arms with her as they prepare for her entrance.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” he whispers in her ear.

“It’s just cold feet,” she reassures.

“I don’t want you to regret this, or find out that you’d rather have someone else”, he warns, noticing something off in his daughter’s attitude.

“It might be more than cold feet”, she confesses, “but I’m already here.”

Before he can respond, the bride entrance song begins. Lauren fakes a smile, her mind set on a million things, but not the clean-cut groom ahead of her. She notices that Darren didn’t show up after all, and tries to dismiss the fact from her mind as she reaches the altar.

There’s a large momentum as Lauren finally turns to face Joey. She expected to feel excitement- happiness, as she prepared to marry the love of her life.

But it wasn’t him.

The smile melted off her face as reality sunk in. She was forcing herself to want this, or maybe anything that ever came with this relationship.

“I can’t do this.”

It seems as if the world pauses for a moment as Lauren realizes what she says, and she runs.

Lauren receives a single text from Joe Walker.

Darren’s at his house.

---

There isn’t anything left that he could say, or anything left he could do. It’s Darren versus a bottle of scotch tonight, and there was nowhere else he’d have to be.

He tries to convince himself that he feels okay, attempting to comb through the heartache and headache. It was all useless, feelings that no longer mattered.

He pours his glass, bringing it up to his lips.

There’s a knock on the door.

Darren tightly grips the glass in his hand, walking to open the door.

He cautiously opens the door, wary of who would visit.

He drops his glass.

“Lauren?” he stammers, eyes widening in shock at the sight in front of him.

She responds with a kiss, falling into his arms as she used to so long ago.

---

Stars ornamented the sky as Darren and Lauren sat perched on a blanket over the hill. She nestles his head in the crook of his neck, murmuring the different constellations

It was inside jokes and philosophies shared to the world and to themselves, nothing left unspoken.

A moment came in the night where Darren discreetly slid his hand into the depths of his backpack, securing a small object with it.

“I’ve got a fun fact about stars for you,” he begins. He grabs Lauren’s hand and leads her to stand. He motions toward the sky. “A lot of these stars- it’s possible they’re long gone. Yet, we see them, bright and burning, and so have the many people before us...I’m thinking it’s a pretty good analogy for what I’m about to say.”

It’s the second time in Darren’s life that he gets on one knee to propose.

“It doesn’t matter whether something happens to us, to me, to you, or anyone. I cross my heart, Lauren Lopez, because no matter what, my love for you will burn brighter than any star. No matter what happens, I swear on it... There’s no one else I’d rather commit my life, which is why I have to ask...” He takes a deep breath before the next words, slowly opening the small box and praying for the answer he wanted five years ago. He squeezes his eyes shut, allowing his other senses to interpret the answer.

“Will you marry me?”

There’s no wait before he hears a yes .

He stands up, tears of relief and happiness painting his face as he engulfs his fiancée in a hug. He fits the ring onto her finger, tilting up her chin before kissing her.

“I guess you were right.” Lauren teases, looking up at Darren.

“Mhm”, he hums, wrapping her in his arms. “I think Mrs. Criss has a nice ring to it.”

[catty-words]

true happiness is so neeeeaaaar

a special thanks to @bethanyactually for reading this over and @notbang for talking some of this out with me. 💖

During my latest watch of Crazy Ex, I kept an eye out for the first time each character breaks into song without Rebecca present or directly involved. It’s well-covered ground that her arrival in West Covina sent ripples through our cast of characters. Inspired by Rebecca’s pursuit of happiness, they started asking themselves—consciously or subconsciously—what would make them happiest. So when does each of them adopt her musical lens, and how does the song they sing inform their journey toward happiness?

Greg – Not surprising considering he wears his unhappiness on his sleeve, Greg is the first one to break into song without Rebecca in episode 1.06 with “What’ll It Be?” The song isn’t really a revelation because there’ve been plenty of hints at just how dissatisfied he feels with his life. Greg hates West Covina (as evidenced by him telling Rebecca it’s not a compliment that she’s starting to fit in around town) and he hates the circumstances that he feels keep him from making any meaningful changes (at the party in the first episode he wastes no time complaining to Rebecca about missing out on Emory because of his sick dad).

Still, “What’ll It Be?” acts as Greg’s thesis statement for that unhappiness. Despite knowing exactly what it is that’s causing his unhappiness, he feels powerless to change it, instead blaming outside forces for keeping him in his current situation. “Hey, West Covina, look what you’re doing to me.”

The unfortunate part is that Greg himself is actually the largest obstacle standing between him and happiness: not his dad, not his job, and not the people of West Covina. His dad, while he seems to appreciate Greg’s presence and care, has clearly decided he’s going to pursue his vices instead of actually maintaining his health. Since he doesn’t actually need to be looked after—he’s made the conscious choice to be unwell—he gives up Greg pretty easily when the time comes in 2.02. Though Greg asserts that he’s going to be upset by his leaving, Marco’s behavior (i.e. chastising Greg for wasting his savings on him because he was supposed to use it for school) actually point to the fact that he’d be happy to see his son leave even back in 1.06.

As for his job, yes, all food service professions suck on a certain level, and Greg’s certainly not getting rich for the drudgery he has to endure. However, in 1.06, we see that Greg’s attitude is really what makes the job such a drag. Kevin, his boss, is in fact a pretty understanding and amiable guy. He takes feedback well and genuinely wants his employees to succeed. The fact that Greg feels so smothered there has as much to do with how he approaches the situation as it does the nature of the job itself.

Finally, the people of West Covina/the town itself only seem like they’re keeping Greg trapped because he actively dismisses and looks down on it all. In reality, the people he associates with most closely—White Josh, Hector, Rebecca, and again, even his father—actively encourage Greg to make changes with an eye toward pursuing business school, as well as call him out on his most destructive behaviors. It’s just that Greg can’t take their encouragement at face value because he’s dwelling on the negativity in his life and can’t seem to break that habit.

Of course, alcoholism plays its part in the unhappiness equation, and that’s no small thing. But, again, that’s something Greg has to deal with and overcome internally. It has little to do with his external circumstances, as the Greg who’s singing “What’ll It Be?” would have us believe.

It makes sense, then, that when he finally takes ownership of his hand in his own shitty situation, he’s able to break the pattern and actually pursue the career of his choosing. He removes himself from the environment that tempts him back into stasis and takes control of his life. No longer feeling powerless, Greg is at least on the path to knowing happiness.

Paula – Paula’s the next one to get caught up in the music with “His Status is Preferred” from 1.07. On the surface, this song seems like a trite expression of unhappiness, of simply wanting a more exciting life, but, as we know, the situation’s a lot more nuanced than we think.

During the course of season one, it becomes clearer and clearer that Paula’s over-involvement in Rebecca’s pursuit of Josh has more to do with her than it does Rebecca and Josh being genuinely good for each other. I believe 1.03 is the first time we see Paula and Scott interact and boy is it uncomfortable. Scott is distracted, Paula’s passive-aggressive, and the kids are a mess.

The further we move into the show, the more we understand Paula’s state of mind. She’s been raised to believe that starting a family is the most important thing she’ll ever do (“My dad was right, I’m a breeder not a leader”), but she feels very disconnected from both her kids and her husband. Part of the reason is that she thinks she missed out on her fairy tale romance, so how is anything she actually built supposed to compare to that? On some level, Paula’s always living in a fantasy realm where everything worked out with Jeff and she’s truly happy.

It should be pointed out, though, that while Jeff gives Paula’s yearning for something different a face, the problem itself is not specifically that man. Any fantasy would do in keeping Paula from fully accepting how her real-life relationship played out. In point of fact, Calvin fills that role here in 1.07. He’s just another expression of Paula chasing a fantasy to avoid dealing with her reality.

As such, Paula’s just as much a product of the damaging “patriarchal love narrative” as Rebecca. The notion that real and true love is all about the spark, that it’s a force of nature you can’t possibly fly in the face of, that it’s something easy and all-consuming keeps her from doing the hard work necessary to maintain a relationship with her husband and family. And, because she feels the spark with Calvin, she gets caught up in the fanciful notion that being with him will make her feel happy, important, and valued — “My whole life has been stuck in economy, I have waited and waited to someday be upgraded, to spread my wings and fly…”

Of course, we have Rebecca swoop in and point out that Paula’s pursuit of Calvin isn’t an authentic or healthy remedy to her true unhappiness before anything regretful happens. Because it’s Rebecca imposing her own revelation on Paula though, this is far from the last time the issue comes up. At this point, Paula hasn’t learned the lesson herself, and she needs to fumble a little more before she does.

We still haven’t seen the final resolution to this conflict, and I don’t think there will be one scene or moment that wraps it up with a nice bow. Deep-seated issues like Paula’s unhealthy relationship to what it means to be a mother and a wife don’t simply go away. 3.07 showed us that she’s mindful of what her patterns are, but we have yet to see evidence that the work is being done to avoid falling back into them. She’s finally let go of the fantasy, but that doesn’t mean she’s ready to feel content with reality.

Valencia – In 1.09, Valencia is the next character to break out into song by herself with “Women Gotta Stick Together.” When I first sat down to write this meta, the fact that Valencia was the third most affected by Rebecca’s pursuit of happiness seemed surprising. They have such a complicated, antagonistic relationship at this point, it’s kind of jarring to imagine Rebecca having a hand in connecting Valencia with her happiness.

Upon further reflection though, it makes perfect sense. Valencia has constructed a life that makes her so deeply unhappy, of course Rebecca swooping in and going after the foundation on which Valencia’s built her on-paper fantastic life would bring all her dissatisfaction to the surface. “Women Gotta Stick Together,” then, is Valencia’s acknowledgement of everything that keeps her feeling trapped, just buried under a few layers of satire and subtext.

You see, Valencia is a classic case of how female socialization teaches us to view all other women as threats because we’re competing for male attention, and this perceived competition has kept her from truly connecting with other women. However, as we know from her interactions with Rebecca in 1.02 and her eager initiation into the #GurlGroup4Evah, Valencia actually craves female friendship above all else. She regrets losing her high school friends because she was given male attention instead of them (read: sexually assaulted, yikes). She is willingly wooed by the potential relationship with Rebecca even though she was clearly skeptical about ulterior motives. And she throws herself into the group activities—embracing everything from going to the bathroom in pairs to awkward sex toy parties with vigor.

So, even though she’s using satire to mask it, Valencia definitely desires the picturesque, supportive relationships she describes in the beginning of the song: “Females helping females for the greater good. Sisters helping sisters, that’s called sisterhood.” Unfortunately, at this point, she’s also unable to get past her compulsion to attack and belittle every other woman with the end goal of proving she’s the most desireable.

It should also be noted that Valencia’s wholehearted acceptance of the competition narrative is born of her need to ignore her attraction to other women. Though I personally think Valencia’s coming out arc was a travesty because it was handled so poorly, it still confirms in canon that her relationship with Josh was a big, honking example of a woman struggling with compulsory heterosexuality. For evidence, look to V’s 2.05 speech about how she knew the relationship was dead a long time ago—she felt it necessary to keep pushing this relationship forward without love and affection from Josh because a) love and affection was not actually what she wanted from any man and b) she feared having to adapt to the change and examine her life if her and Josh broke up, forcing her closer to the truth that she’s a lesbian—and the scene between Valencia, Josh, and Beth in beginning of 3.12 where it’s revealed that Valencia had a problem with Josh touching her but has no such reservations when it comes to Beth.

That being said, her constant putting down of other women and their appearances functions as a way for Valencia to distance herself from her attraction. It’s easier to remain locked in competition and criticize other women’s bodies than it is to accept her attraction. (Valencia’s clear overcompensation is the reason it’s totally OOC for her coming-out process to be easy and easily glossed over.) But, of course, without acknowledging her true self, Valencia can never be truly happy with her relationships.

Finally, “Women Gotta Stick Together” hints at the unhappiness Valencia feels trying to live under the pressure to look physically appealing to men. There are clear mentions throughout the series of Valencia’s disordered eating (in 1.06 with the “I’ve been starving since 1998” line and plenty of dialogue in 2.05 and 2.07, to name just a few examples). Not only is she overcompensating for her attraction to women by dissecting their appearance, she’s overcompensating for her clear discomfort with her own body by building herself up in relation to how much skinnier she is than her “competition.” Not only is she starving her physical body of sustenance, she’s starving herself of the chance to be content.

Darryl - In 1.10—consequently, right after he spends time with Rebecca socially for the first time by crashing her bus trip to the beach—Darryl gets his solo number. “Having a Few People Over” is far from the deepest song the show’s ever done, but it is still a very clear statement of Darryl’s unhappiness.

The man is obviously lonely, and he tries way too hard to manufacture interpersonal relationships he feels will assuage his loneliness. He’s constantly pushing a friendship with Paula despite her implicit and explicit desire not to have one. He inserts himself into Rebecca and Paula’s private conversations because he wants so desperately to be involved. In 1.10, he hires a bunch of escorts so the guys won’t be bored enough to bail on the evening. He even goes so far as to bully Maya because he sees the same unflattering desperation in her.

And the fact that he tries so hard, that he uses flashy bells and whistles to attract people to him, shows a deep dissatisfaction with who he is at his core. Darryl doesn’t think that his personality, alone, is enough to earn the bond and acceptance of friendship. He feels he has to dress up his company in something fancy—like, say, an EDM song—to be good enough.

Because this is such a consistent character trait of his, I was disappointed with the framing of his season three storyline. At this point in his life, Darryl has forged more meaningful bonds than he had before with White Josh and the people at Whitefeather. I wish the writers had taken the opportunity to let Darryl explore why he still felt so unhappy with his interpersonal relationships, gone more of a “if I still feel lonely with WhiJo around, if i feel like I need to manufacture a more serious relationship with a baby, what would it actually take for me to find happiness?” route.

Heather - Heather is just about the last person to break into song without Rebecca present with “Don’t Settle for Me” in 1.13. As possibly the most self-examined character on the show, her expression of unhappiness has nothing to do with internal conflict. Instead, she expresses dissatisfaction with her situation. Heather knows her worth, and won’t allow Greg to keep them both in a relationship if he’s not being honest about his intentions.

Interestingly enough, though Heather has an identity crisis in season three because she likes being a student, the arc of her conflict centers on her not knowing what the world has to offer her besides the opportunity to learn. While the character feels unmoored from her identity, she still approaches the situation with a kind of self-assuredness everyone else lacks. Her unhappiness in season three, again, has more to do with external circumstances than deep-seated emotional trauma or hangups.

And it’s fitting, then, that the resolution to this specific storyline is that Heather creates her own place in the world. She sees an opportunity and takes the chance to become gainfully employed at a job that still allows for creative expression through the various hobbies and special interests she wants to pursue.

Josh - Pretty much for the opposite reason as Heather, Josh is the last main cast member to get his own musical number with 1.17’s “Angry Mad.” The reason he’s so late to join everyone else in their examination of unhappiness is because Josh is typically pretty satisfied. He’s not looking for any deeper meaning or purpose. All his conflict in season one is surface stuff, like feeling too adult to celebrate Christmas.

And even when he does start to feel unhappy about something—i.e. losing Rebecca’s affirming attention and affection when her focus shifts to Greg—he doesn’t have the self-awareness to really explore what’s at the root of that emotion. He’d rather not acknowledge or face the problem head-on. As a result, “Angry Mad” expresses that Josh is unhappy because he’s unhappy instead of taking a closer look at why seeing Rebecca with Greg makes Josh uncomfortable.

This inability to take stock of his life definitely bites Josh in the ass more than once. It’s what gets him in over his head with Rebecca in season two. It’s what leads him to leave Rebecca on their wedding day instead of calling off the wedding (or perhaps never proposing in the first place). It’s what stops Josh from taking action to halt his downward spiral in season three because the poor oaf doesn’t even realize he’s spiraling until it’s too late.

That being said, season three did a major disservice to what little interiority the character had. I hope season four regains some focus when it comes to Josh, and he’s at least set on the path toward understanding himself and his needs better.

Nathaniel - Finally, we have our late-comer Nathaniel. It takes him eight episodes to get a solo without Rebecca being there with the 3.03 number “I Go to The Zoo.” This puts him right between Paula and Valencia in terms of how long it took Rebecca to influence his worldview enough to get him breaking into song.

Not surprising considering he’s one of the most emotionally stunted characters, his big number is essentially about retreating into childhood comforts when he’s feeling upset. The thing is, while Nathaniel’s trying to find solace in the simplicity, his upbringing is also the source of his unhappiness. His withholding parents never gave him the tools he needed to process his feelings and deal with them healthily. The effects of this have reached well into his adult life as he seems incapable of forming lasting, meaningful bonds with any person—from his disinterest and mistrust of long-term relationships in season two to his series of dick moves with Mona in season three.*

Even his interactions with Rebecca, the person who he confesses makes him want to be better at feeling his feels, lack authenticity eighty percent of the time. His confession of love in 3.04 is an inarticulate mess that devolves into a tangle of misused cliches. He’s clearly working off the Patriarchal Love Narrative, trying to be the definite-article Love Interest, instead of allowing himself to have a genuine moment with Rebecca. In the season finale, their duet is, at least on one level*, a big long joke about how little progress Nathaniel has actually made in accessing his emotions and feeling more empathetic.

Though he’s made progress toward being more open—look to the final scene of 3.06 or even his confessions during the masquerade—he still can’t seem to consider how his actions or emotional needs might affect others. Once, he might have considered this machiavellian approach to interpersonal relationships a strength. Now that he’s found some people he really wants to form lasting emotional bonds with, though, it’s the weakness that’s standing between him and happiness.

*I’d like to clarify that I’m not trying to make the argument that Nathaniel’s upbringing in any way justifies his behavior, especially when it comes to the affair, but it does give us at least a better understanding of his motivations, a clearer lens through which to view the character. And I think that’s another important element of Nothing is Ever Anyone’s Fault. While taking empathy for people’s trauma to the extreme makes it almost valueless and a mockery of itself, the ability to understand why people behave the way that they do is fundamental to liking any of the characters on this show. The line that you have to walk, then, becomes messy and complicated, but it makes for a truly fascinating look at human nature.

[ontarioyoga]

Is There Such Thing As Baby Yoga

New Post has been published on https://www.ontarioyoga.net/is-there-such-thing-as-baby-yoga/

Is There Such Thing As Baby Yoga

Learn The Art And Practice Of Prenatal And Postnatal Yoga Fertility Yoga Yoga For Menstruation And Menopause And Restorative Yoga

The signature Bliss Baby Yoga philosophy and methodology fuses scientific knowledge of safe practices with a holistic, spiritual understanding for a satisfying learning experience.

We offer an ever-growing array of specialised online yoga teacher training courses and classes, and professional development modules, taught by Ana Davis and her team of highly qualified and passionate women’s health experts.

Enjoy a softer, more feminine approach to yoga, embodying the sacred essence of Ahimsa , that will deepen your own practice and connection with your feminine body and soul, and enhance your teaching repertoire—from wherever you are in the world!

‘I have been using this book to help with postnatal depletion and my cycle and I can’t recommend Moving with the Moon enough! Ana is clearly passionate in her knowledge and understanding and has created a peer-reviewed educational resource that is easy to open and use at any section, depending on what you need help with at the time. There are treasures to be found for all woman; young, old, time poor, exhausted, trying for a baby, depleted from having a baby, menstrual disorders, all of us.

The classical women’s postures and restorative postures for women’s health are my go to sections, all beautifully illustrated. There’s even a Moving with the Moon playlists suggestions at the end of the book! Thank you, Ana, for your passion and the work that has gone into creating this resource. This will be passed down the family.’

In The First Few Months After Having A Baby The Last Thing Many People Want To Do Is Put On Some Work

Baby Yoga is a wonderful way to bond with your baby. Babies naturally love to be gently caressed and handled and practising Yoga is a perfect way to do this in a calm, relaxed environment.

There are many reasons why regular Yoga practice is beneficial to both parents and babies and here are our top five.

Issues To Watch For When Doing Or Teaching Yoga Is There Such Thing As Too Much Yoga Uncategorized

I have been doing yoga longer than I have been teaching it.  However, I have recently realized that in some cases anyway, there is such a thing as too much yoga.  Let me explain some issues that could hinder your yoga practice and why I say that.

Most of you that read my blog already know that my spine is fused from top to bottom.  But what you may not be aware of is that I am also hypermobile or “double jointed”.  Between the two, I finally figured out that I am doing too much yoga for ME.  Of course as I age, the hypermobility has decreased some, but it still has given me problems.

In a nutshell hypermobility is the looseness of the joints.  As a kid, this was a really cool thing.  Even as an adult I still manage to have some fun with it but in doing yoga, it can produce some issues for those with this condition.  For example, in doing down dog or any of the warrior poses, I have a bad tendency of locking my knees.  That means they bend a little backwards and create what I “thought” was stability.  It’s not a bad thing but in doing yoga, you really need to pay attention to the way your joints and bones move.  They all work together and if your joints are locking up it puts your whole posture out of whack.

mechanical problems

diseases and conditions resulting in joint damage

brain, nerve, and muscle disorders that damage nerves, tendons, and muscles

bone fusions

Are There Any Baby Health Conditions That Might Affect Its Use And Success

If your little one has any specific physical conditions such as ‘clicky’ hips, reflux or congenital disorders do consult your health visitor or GP before trying baby yoga. The great thing about baby yoga is that you can just take it to the level that both you and your baby feel comfortable with – it is not a competition! So just do the bits that work for your baby, stretching the parts of their body that are safe to be exercised. 

When your baby is or if they have recently had injections, be aware that they may be extra sensitive. In some instances baby yoga can be a good distraction for your baby, helping them to cope with these experiences. However, some babies may not enjoy doing baby yoga at this time. Your baby will make it clear if they are not enjoying it so always be aware and in tune with the signals they are giving off and react accordingly.  

Read more: How yoga can help keep pregnant woman and new mums stress-free

Baby Yoga Can Give You Better Rest Increased Flexibility And A Happy Baby

After nine long months, you’re delighted to have a sweet baby to cuddle and love. But a new baby means a new schedule, and you may find yourself with less time to focus on your health. It’s important to find an exercise regimen that is gentle enough for your body but is also challenging and exciting.

Whether you’re new to yoga or were a committed participant before you had your child, baby yoga is an excellent way to get you on a structured postnatal wellness path. “We recommend baby yoga for anyone who is looking for a healthy, playful bonding activity to do with a new baby,” says Lauren Chaitoff, co-owner of New York City children’s yoga studio Yogi Beans and contributor to .

Check out these nine reasons to do baby-centric yoga that will have you and baby feeling great in no time! 

It’s a Great Bonding Experience With Your BabyMom and baby programs focus on both of you. “We modify traditional yoga poses so that moms can practice yoga while holding and rocking their babies,” states Laura DeNino, baby yoga instructor at the Yoga House of Charleston. The result is time dedicated to bonding. 

You’ll Be Able to Ease Back Into YogaUnlike high-level adult yoga classes, child yoga acknowledges the changes that a new mom’s body has been through. You’ll work with your recovering and changing body instead of against it. 

So grab that yoga mat and find a baby yoga class near you. Your body and your baby will thank you! 

Care directory

What Is Container Baby Syndrome And Do I Really Have To Worry About It

All parents need a safe spot to put their babies down. But is there such a thing as too much time in a bouncer seat or activity centre?

July 7, 2021

Photo: iStock/Fly View Productions

The inverted metal V in the middle of my living room separated my life as a parent into two eras: the before-Jolly Jumper times, and after. Before-JJ, I bounced my colicky baby on a yoga ball for hours, cramming granola bars in my mouth with one hand. Post-JJ , I could sit and enjoy a whole sandwich while his delight at moving his own body beamed straight into my heart. These short breaks played a huge part in bolstering my mental health as a new mom.

Before long, though, guilt would start chipping away at my bliss. Yes, my friends and I cheekily called these types of products, especially Exersaucers or activity centres, “circles of neglect” . Despite the jokes, I knew I shouldn’t leave my son in the jumper for very long—it wasn’t good for his little body, I’d heard. But how long was too long? Would five more minutes spell disaster?

Stephanie So, a paediatric physiotherapist at Pediatric Physiotherapy Associates in Scarborough, Ont., who’s been advising parents on kids and healthy movement for more than 30 years, isn’t sure what to make of the label—“It sounds a bit negative,” she says—but she is aligned with the idea that parents need to be aware of the importance of offering infants safe opportunities to move freely and practise new skills, like rolling and crawling. 

Have You Ever Downplayed A Dream Did You Tell Your Friends Your Family

Here’s the thing: your dreams DO matter. How are they ever going to come true if you pretend they are not important?

In today’s episode, Rachel shares her own intimate dream. It is one that may not be possible for so many reasons, but by speaking her dream out loud, she just may be bringing herself one step closer to manifesting it.

Let today’s vulnerable sharing be a reminder that you can dream, too. You can get your hopes up. You can believe in the possibility of beautiful outcomes. You are a constituent of this universe, so you get a say in what happens!

Tune in to dream big and shout from the rooftops exactly what it is you want – the universe will be listening.

Baby Yoga: 10 Reasons You & Your Newborn Should Consider Practicing

Doing Yoga with your baby has a lot of health benefits, and there are many reasons why you should give it a try.

Yoga: the great mind, body, and spirit connective activity. Despite yoga being very popular, many are unaware that those invaluable connections can be explored outside of one’s inner self. In fact, mothers who practice yoga with their newborns can experience an entirely new type of connection among a variety of other great and positive benefits.

RELATED: 15 Moms Who Should’ve NEVER Worn Yoga Pants

In addition to getting comfortable in one’s new mom role, moms are often trying to get comfortable in their new mom’s body and get adjusted to their new mom hours. There is a pretty good chance yoga can help with all of that. Read on for more ways to get that mom and baby  on.

Top 5 Reasons Why Baby Yoga Is A Must Do For You And Your Baby

A lot of mums and dads think that baby yoga is mum and bub yoga. Well I’m here to dispel that myth and give you 5 very good reasons as to why it’s important for your baby.

A lot of yoga studios do mums and bubs yoga. Parents attend because they think it’s baby yoga and then are very disappointed because the emphasis is on the mum or dad. It’s just a yoga class that invites babies along and has nothing to do with true baby yoga. Yes it’s still very good for you as a parent but what does it do for your baby? Not very much.I can understand that disappointment. You were promised one thing and got something else entirely. And I’m all about the baby and the relationship building between parent and baby.

I’ve done my research, as always! And there are very few true Baby Yoga studio classes. One other that I know of is at Yoganic at Willoughby … http://www.birthlight.com/page/birthlight-australia-centre

They are the official Birthlight Yoga training affiliate where I did my Baby Yoga Diploma last year … http://www.birthlight.com/page/baby-yoga and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fBp3noYlyg

Babies are rocked and touched in utero and baby yoga looks at recreating that special bond and movement that was experienced previously. After birth, gentle movement and touch together are the basis of synesthesia . It is the way babies bring together their sensory experiences in a general way through an emotional interaction with their parents or carers. So what are the benefits of any yoga? 

Baby Neck Strengthening Exercises And Tummy Exercises

When it comes to baby exercises, neck strengthening and tummy time are key. “Babies spend so much time on their backs early in life that spending time on their belly is important to build strength in different positions,” says Sarah Johnson, PT, DPT, a pediatric physical therapist at Riley Children’s Health. “Developing the back, core and neck strength creates the building blocks babies will need to progress in their development of gross motor skills such as crawling, sitting up and eventually walking.” These allow baby to start supporting themselves and explore the world around them.

During tummy exercises and any baby exercises, also be sure to supervise at all times. When it comes to baby tummy exercises, don’t force baby. Start with just three to five minutes a day and gradually increase from there.

Is There Such Thing As Perfect Alignment In Asana

There isn’t, bodies are all different, but I do think there is a safe alignment and that is important to avoid injury. For ex if the pose asks you to bind and when you bind you get all twisted/bent in an unhealthy way, then modify by using a strap or skip the bind completely as long as you’re keeping the twisting motion, to the degree your body allows.

I also like to think of the “intention” of the pose, what I should aim I focus on . Here’s an example of breaking down a pose by its intentions https://www.yoganatomy.com/triangle-and-revolved-triangle-pose/

About The Instructor: Elizabeth Rudzki Green Ms

Elizabeth earned a Masters in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University of Maryland before returning to Pittsburgh, where she is thrilled to share her passion for yoga with her community. Elizabeth lives in Squirrel Hill and is married to her high school sweetheart. They welcomed Stella Marie into their lives in April 2013 and stay busy with 2 dogs, a cat and making their house a home. Elizabeth completed her 200 hour yoga certification through South Hills Power Yoga and is grateful to help others create flexibility of body and mind.

Hatha Yoga Guide: Science Benefits And Insights

In this comprehensive guide to the fundamentals of hatha yoga, yogi and mystic introduces us to this phenomenal science. In a series of articles, he corrects many misunderstandings about the process and explores how we can reap the maximum benefits hatha yoga has to offer.

The body is a very large part of who you are right now. The science of using the body to hasten your evolutionary process is hatha yoga. The body itself has its own attitudes, its own ego, its own nature. Let us say you decided, “Starting tomorrow, I will get up at five in the morning and go for a walk.” You set the alarm. The alarm rings. You want to get up, but your body says, “Shut up and sleep.” It has its own way, doesn’t it? Hatha yoga is a way of working with the body, a way of disciplining, purifying and preparing the body for higher levels of energy and possibilities.

Finding A Mother And Baby Yoga Class Near You

Baby yoga is really safe and easy to do in the comfort of your own home if you don’t feel like attending a class; all you need is a warm, safe and calm environment. Place a non-slip towel or yoga mat down on a clear space of floor and you and your little one are good to go! 

If you feel nervous about doing baby yoga for the first time on your own, then why not enrol in a local class to gain confidence. These will usually be run by baby yoga instructors. A quick Google search of mother and baby yoga classes near me will help you find one close by. 

However, if your baby is healthy and there are no known issues which could affect their enjoyment then you should feel empowered to go ahead!  This is a big workout for your little one, so go gently at first, reading your baby’s reaction and mood with every step. 

It Promotes Bonding Between You And Your Baby

The number one reason why baby yoga works so well for parents and their babies is that it strengthens the child-parent bond. After all, you’re in physical contact with your baby for most of the session. Given how busy modern schedules are, taking care of your baby can sometimes feel rushed because you’re juggling it with other items in your to-do list, but doing baby yoga allows you to slow down and spend time mindfully with your baby.

At the same time, babies need a lot of affectionate touch, especially from their parents and caregivers, and they can miss out on it when they’re always in strollers. Since baby yoga requires you to hold your baby a lot while paying careful attention, you deepen your bond and become more attuned to your baby’s body language and cues. After spending so much time in the womb, which is dark and enclosed, babies can become more comfortable with the outside world with the guided sensory stimulation from baby yoga.

It Gives You The Chance To Meet Other Parents

Baby yoga classes are only for parents and their babies, so you’ll be with people who can relate with what you’re going through. Some classes even encourage a certain theme or facilitate discussions about parenting, so it’s easy to start conversations and meet other parents. You can even hang around after the class to socialise.

Another great thing about baby yoga is that it provides a supportive, non-competitive environment where you won’t feel pressured and you can speak up about your concerns. In fact, it’s usually okay to stop or go out in the middle of the class to change your baby’s nappies, and you don’t have to feel self-conscious about your baby crying. Of course, your baby also gets to meet and interact with the other babies there!

Climbing Stairs For A Toddler Is No Mean Feat

To understand the full impact of how much effort a small child needs to exert to climb stairs imagine you, yourself, are a little toddler again and you want to climb your first stairs. Put the situation into proportion: those first steps you climbed were giant steps, reaching up as far as your thigh!

Could you do that today? Climbing thigh-high steps requires humongous effort from the thigh muscles. Try climbing stairs, three or four steps at a time!

Learning To Move Is Not That Easy For A Baby

From birth on, all humans embark upon a long and intense period of physical training comparable to the intensity of the training of an athlete. We all know and accept the fact that the movement vocabulary, fitness level, and endurance of children by far exceed the physical capabilities of adults, but why should this be so? In so-called “primitive” or non-urbanized societies this is not the case.

Baby Yoga What Is It And Why Should We Care

We explore the ins and outs of sharing a mat with your mini.

Melanie Dimmitt

When presented with the notion of yoga for babies, I scrutinized it as I would a designer diaper bag. A lovely idea, in theory, but do I really it? Amid the plethora of mommy-and-me offerings – music classes, French lessons, sign-language… even Salsa dancing – why choose yoga? Babies are naturally bendy, are they not? It isn’t called a ‘happy baby’ for nothing. However, on closer inspection, there’s more to baby yoga than child’s play .

First things first. What is it, exactly?

Baby yoga tends to mean one of two things – an adult yoga class that you bring baby along to, or yoga that is actually for your baby. In a parent-focused class, bub takes the role of spectator-slash-adorable-prop.

“The babies lie on a blanket in front of the parents’ yoga mat,” explains Neelu Shruti, of Love Child yoga studio in New York. “Throughout class, which includes upper body stretches and glute strengthening, we will include baby in poses such as ‘push-up kiss baby’, or hold baby while doing squats, lunges or abdominal exercises.”

Love Child studio’s Baby & Me Yoga class incorporates restorative poses and sequences well suited to new parents – so long as they’re okay with the occasional flow interruption and not-so-silent Savasana.

But there are, according to Neelu, ample reasons to abandon your landslide of laundry for a class such as this.

We’re listening.

Now… will a yoga mat fit in my new designer diaper bag?

Top Tips For Getting Started With Baby Yoga

Do your baby yoga routine when your baby appears active and is showing you they want to play and move. 

Do not do baby yoga if your baby is tired, hungry or has just been fed. Remember baby yoga is only beneficial for your baby if they are feeling happy and comfortable.

Don’t do baby yoga with your baby if you are feeling over-tired or uncomfortable yourself. Your baby may pick up on your signals and feel discouraged. 

Keep good eye contact with your baby as you do the moves. Really ‘tune in’ to your baby.  If you do this you can respond quickly to baby’s cues and check they are still enjoying themselves. 

Smile at your baby to give them reassurance.  

Never force the movements. If your baby is under five months they will have less range of movement at their shoulders, elbows, hips and knees compared with an older baby. Younger babies rely on this natural tightness to move, so it is important not to disrupt this. 

Start off with just a couple of repetitions, increasing length and duration as you learn together. 

Remember to show your baby how proud you are of their new skills! 

Ensure that your little one is wearing a well-fitting nappy such as Pampers Active Fit. This type of nappy will adapt to your baby’s movements because it has stretchier sides than ordinary nappies to help to keep your baby dry and protected no matter how much they move. 

Consult your health visitor or family GP if you have any specific concerns.

How To Learn Yoga From Your Baby Or Toddler

Juliette Kando is a dancer, choreologist, author on fitness and health, and Fellow of the Benesh Institute at the Royal Academy of Dance.

Happy-baby-pose also called Ananda balasana

Any parent who knows a little about yoga will agree that many of the movements made by babies and toddlers are very similar to yoga asanas. From a choreologist’s point of view this is not surprising since, upon analysis, yoga is very closely related to human movement development from birth onward.

This article explains the origins of human movement and demonstrates many naturally inborn baby and toddler yoga moves. While playing with your child you can copy those moves. Teat the child as your teacher. Together you can enjoy playing and discovering yoga as a fun and entertaining way to get fit.

Why Baby Yoga Classes Can Also Benefit Mom

Hopefully a little bit of a workout. Some yoga classes are gentle and/or focus a lot on playing games with the babies .

Classes at dedicated yoga studios tend to offer more workout and less playtime. There is often a focus on poses that help new moms relieve the strain of nursing and start to regain some abdominal strength.

Yoga Poses for Breastfeeding Moms

The ideal class from a mom’s perspective allows you to do as much yoga as possible while your baby isn’t upset. Because, let’s face it, your baby isn’t the one that needs this time and space to do yoga. You are.

You will also get out of the house to an environment that is not stressful where you will meet other new mothers. The value of connecting to this community should not be underestimated.

Is There Such A Thing As The Best Yoga Mat

Kate was looking for a new mat because hers was getting worn. The one she had was a lower quality, so it was beginning to tear in small areas. While it was nothing serious, she decided to begin looking for a better yoga mat. She was looking into many different websites and other resources to lean about how to find a good mat.

There are many different sizes and style of mats available nowadays, so Kate was having a little bit of a hard time deciding on just one. She wasn’t really sure where to go for the best prices, or best styles of many mats available.

So what are a few qualities that make a good mat?

•Shouldn’t be too hard or soft•Should have a side that is sticky•Length can vary •Price may be important to some people•Thickness should be at least 4 mm

Mats come in all sizes, designs and styles. Finding one that you think is the best is all up to you. There is no right or wrong mat. The first thing that you should look for in a yoga mat is comfort. Being comfortable with your mat is a big plus.

Mats usually have at least on sticky side. This helps to keep it in place and from sliding all over the place. As far as the length of the mat goes, this is another personal preference. Some prefer longer mats as you can move around more on them. These types are great for taller people.

Picking the best mat for you doesn’t need to be a chore. There are many sites that can help you find the best deals and mat just for you.

Limit Babys Activities To No More Than 15

Most yoga classes are between 45 minutes to an hour. That’s fine for mamas, but that length of time is too much for babies. While a baby is more than welcome to have some tummy time or sit and babble happily away while you perform additional, restorative or strength-building poses, your baby should only be actively doing yoga for 15 or 20 minutes. Anything more than that can overtax his/her already busy and developing body.

Why Do Children Love To Hang Upside Down

We always have a special treat at the end of a children’s ballet class. I, the teacher, pick up each child, by their ankles and hang them upside down; one at a time, of course. “Again, again!” they shout when they are upright again. Children often know instinctively what is good for their hard-working bodies.They love hanging upside down because it helps them stretch, relax and grow; it reverses gravity, takes the weight off their little growing bones.

How To Give A Mummy And Baby Yoga Class Charlie Stewart-Brown

Teaching a Mummy & Baby Yoga class is a joy for a yoga teacher, but more importantly for the mum and baby.  It’s a wonderful activity for them to do together and a lovely opportunity for them to bond in a different environment.  I set up the first ever class of this type in Switzerland and it’s become increasingly popular across the country.

The mums get to know other mums in their area which is especially nice if it’s their first child or they’re expats living in a country away from their family and home friends.  It can be an especially difficult and lonely time for mothers who work and are on maternity leave, who often struggle with their change in identity, productivity and even boredom.  Mummy & Baby Yoga classes are a great opportunity to socialize with other women in the same boat and do an activity for themselves, without having to pay for childcare.  More often than not the mums in my classes would go for a coffee together afterwards and the babies became friends too!  The babies are fascinated by one another and it’s beautiful to watch them develop more and more each week and start interacting together.

The Yoga Instructor Should Be Certified

Certifications and credentials are always a good thing to verify when trusting your well-being – and your baby’s – to someone else’s expertise. However, yoga certification should be an essential “prerequisite” before enrolling in a class. 

First and foremost, the instructor should be trained and experienced in teaching parent-and-baby classes, understanding which postures and holds are safe, and which aren’t, to keep your baby safe. Your safety is also a priority. Your connective tissue is still very elastic from the hormonal changes that took place to accommodate pregnancy, labor and delivery. Postnatal classes should support that, keeping you safe from stretches or postures that could lead to potential strain or injury. 

If you find out your baby isn’t as into the classes as you are and you opt to take a yoga class on your own, make sure to inform the instructor you are XX weeks postpartum as s/he will probably amend certain poses for you until you’re body is further along in its recovery.

Playing With Your Child At Ground Level

Instead of sweating it out at the gym, why not just play with your child at ground level in a physical conversation to discover three things:

Babies and little children can teach us the basics of yoga.

Children prove the benefits of hanging upside down.

Your body has done all this before.

As soon as you start learning yoga from your child the muscular system begins to remember long forgotten moves from the days you yourself were a baby, then a toddler, exploring the wonders of human movement capabilities. How blissful was this very short pre-school time, before you, like all other children in formal education, were told to “sit still and behave.” From then on we all became bound for life to chairs, tables, and desks. Here is a unique opportunity to re-live that wonderful youthful, carefree and happy time with your baby or toddler.

Benefits Of Postpartum Yoga For Mothers

It helps ease new parent jitters. Get started by attending a class taught by a trained instructor — it’s a safe and structured way to engage with your baby.

It’s a little TLC for your body. Any kind of yoga gives you an opportunity to nourish and care for your body through focused stretches and mindful breathing exercises, which is especially important after carrying a baby for nine months and then giving birth!

It stretches and strengthens the muscles that need the most TLC. The gentle movements and mindful breathing that are integral to yoga boost abdominal strength and activate the pelvic floor muscles, which aids recovery from giving birth, while classic poses — from upward facing dog to cobra — help open up the shoulders and chest you rely on for all of the rocking and cradling you do in the first few months with your baby.

It helps you meet new moms. After baby is born, you might not have as much time for socializing. But it’s reassuring to talk to other mothers who are going through the same experiences as you are. Yoga class provides a safe and nurturing environment for new parents to discuss worries and concerns. You’re not alone!  

It helps you and your new baby bond. Yoga is a healthy, playful activity you can enjoy together. 

Is There Such A Thing As A Yoga Expert

I was speaking recently with some yoga colleagues and interestingly, we had all shared a similar experience:

the experience of ‘discovering’ something in our practice and then at some point being in a class where the teacher taught ‘our’ discovery,

of realizing that we had actually been taught that so-called discovery a hundred times before, but just didn’t ‘hear’ it!

I found it quite amusing that this was such a common experience. When I reflected on why, the following 2 thoughts came to mind…

So much is conveyed in a class that I think because it means the learning never stops.

In my opinion, there is no such thing as a yoga expert. BKS Iyengar teaches to approach the mat each day ‘as a beginner’. I understand this to mean that no matter how much progress I’ve made, knowledge I’ve gained, classes I’ve taught, there is always the potential to learn more, to delve deeper. As the asanas penetrate, I change. And as a result of that change, I’m forever a beginner learning to understand my state of being . While not easily embraced, I believe this process to be humility at its best.

So why do I blog about yoga?

Despite not being a yoga expert, I blog. Should I? I don’t know, but upon reflection I think my intentions can be summed up in 4 main points:

I blog to share my passion for Iyengar Yoga with others and hopefully ignite a spark that might lead others to their own mat.

Is There Such A Thing As Too Much Yoga

I don’t know why I was surprised that there was two yoga classes a day, during my week long yoga retreat in Mexico. It was a friggin’ yoga retreat!! The classes were wonderful, but I was a little bored. Why did I go? Someone had put it on my to-do list. Oh, yeah, that was me. Once it’s on there, it’s on there.

Haramara Retreat has no electricity, no internet and you can’t flush your used toilet paper. Simply throw it in the wastepaper basket and call it a day. I found this curiously fun. It did take a couple of, “Oh, crap, I put it in the toilet.” I was afraid that the retreat police was going to knock on my hand-built, environmentally-conscious cabana door and put me in a time out. Or worse, make me fish the toilet paper out of the bowl.

We had fresh, local, organic food and fruit I’d never heard of. There were unpaved trails, a private beach with climbing rocks, an infinity pool overlooking the Pacific Ocean and really stupid sand crabs. The crabs would climb, or rather side shimmy, up the tropical hillside and then die. Weren’t they going in the wrong direction? Every night, walking back to our rustic and built without machinery, cabanas, we’d step over dead crabs in the path.

The ocean was rough and loud, which lulled me to sleep each night.

I loved the open air shower, with its unobstructed view of the ocean. I didn’t worry about my hair clogging the drain because there wasn’t a drain. My strands gracefully and peacefully became one with the jungle.

Baby Exercises To Get Your Baby Moving

When you think about exercise, you wouldn’t tell babies to drop and give you 20. But the Society of Health and Physical Educators recommends that all children up to age 5 do some kind of physical activity every day. And yes, that means babies too. Baby exercises are an important part of infant development. Infant exercise can help strengthen baby’s neck, help develop their hand-eye coordination and help baby learn to walk. So where do you start? From strengthening to baby yoga exercises, it’s time to get baby pumped to move with these baby exercises.

In this article:Baby hand-eye coordination exercises

What Does This Mean For Yoga Teachers

So here’s the big question: What does this mean for you when working with a student who has had a hip replacement?

Proper exercise after surgery can reduce stiffness and increase flexibility and muscle strength, so yoga is a good thing for this condition. But how much and how soon are dependent on many factors such as physical health before the surgery and presence of chronic conditions that may affect the speed of healing. In the past this surgery was reserved mostly for older patients, as artificial hips didn’t last as long as they do now, and having a repeat hip replacement is possible but not desirable. But as technology has improved, so has the number of years the prosthetic parts can be relied upon to serve their purpose. So now it is more common to see hip replacements in younger people, who may be in better overall physical condition and who will heal faster.

So what restrictions should students with THR follow and for how long? The answer is, it depends. The goal is to avoid disturbing the healing process after surgery, and once healed, to preserve the function and integrity of the artificial joint for as many years as possible. Total rehabilitation after surgery will take at least six months for most people.

So when a student tells you they have a hip replacement, first, ask how long ago the surgery was, and whether their procedure was the anterior or posterior approach.

Getting The Word Out About Your Class

Feel free to leave a comment or let me know how it goes if you set up your own Mummy & Baby Yoga classes.  For any question, please join and post your question on the Facebook group:  Yoga Teachers Advice Forum and you will get advice from myself and over 130 yoga teachers worldwide.

Take care and breathe deep.

Standing Walking Climbing And Running

Before a baby learns how to stand upright to walk, it has to perform thousands of deep squats, most of which fail and end up plonking their butt on the floor. A nine-month-old little athlete grunts and puffs for strength to get up and to find balance.

They never give up until they can walk, run, skip, and jump. Why does this drive for moving ever have to stop?

It Eases Tension And Gets You Moving

As a parent, baby yoga will also be beneficial for you! Baby yoga is still a type of yoga, so you’ll experience a lot of the usual perks associated with regular yoga classes. Through the modified poses and guided breathing, you’ll be able to relax more, sleep better, and let go of tension. If you’re consistently putting your baby’s needs first before your own, you have to practice self-care too so you won’t experience burnout. 

While both mums and dads can do baby yoga, some classes cater specifically to mums, offering postnatal exercises that put them back on track with their fitness. Since a mother’s body has gone through plenty of changes recently, these classes emphasise muscles such as the pelvic floor, back, and tummy. Aside from easing back pain and speeding up recovery, baby yoga can guide mums into building up strength and flexibility again.

It Helps With Your Babys Development

The most obvious impact of baby yoga is that your baby becomes more at ease with their body. Baby yoga serves as both exercise and play for them. Not only do babies love being lifted and stretched in the right way, they pick up better body coordination too with baby yoga. For example, when you lay your baby on their tummy, neck and upper body strength become enhanced, so it’s good to put your baby in different positions. Exercises where babies cross their arms or feet over the midline of their body can even contribute to brain development

Whatever stage of life we’re in, stimulation is necessary for us to grow and develop and it’s the same for babies. A baby yoga class offers variations in movement, visuals, and even sounds. Because they’re in a controlled environment, babies become better at processing different stimuli without being overwhelmed. Beyond body awareness, they also form a better sense of the physical space around them.

There Is No Such Thing As A Due Date

Us women are impatient creatures at times. The most frustrating part of pregnancy is probably the ‘due date’ wait. To be given a date of when to expect to be holding your baby in your arms, is asking for stress levels to rise and frustration to build! Imagine being told you’ll win the lottery on the 1st March, to then wake up and realise it ain’t happening. All of that excitement to get to this one date, and it came and went in a flash with no prize!

What we need to remember is that these ‘dates’ are based on every woman having 28 day cycles and conceiving their baby on the 14th day of that cycle. It’s also assuming that all women have the exact same length of pregnancies and all babies are ready on the exact day too. Basically, it’s an estimate. A very rough estimate. For labour to begin remember, our minds and our bodies need to feel calm, happy, safe and relaxed. Spend time doing things that make you feel wonderful – watching your wedding video, browsing old photos, going to your favourite restaurant, watching The Notebook… if your body sense stress of any kind , it’ll keep your baby in longer!

Breathe in, breathe out, and let your body do it’s thing. And if it’s not too late already, don’t tell people your ‘due date’! ?

Which Gravity Inversion Table To Get

I recommend the Teeter Inversion Table because after all these years of using cheaper models I have come to the conclusion that my current Teeter Inversion Table is the easiest to assemble and to use, with the most sensitivity for balance, without jerking as most of the others did. The Teeter is also the most comfortable on the ankles for prolonged use.

What Do We Wear And Take To A Class

Parents and babies should both wear loose, comfortable clothes that are easy to move around in. Jogging bottoms, loose t-shirts or vest tops are ideal.

For babies, I would recommend a sleepsuit with a short-sleeved vest underneath. Sleepsuits are comfortable and easy to whip off when needed.

During the baby massage you will have to take off the sleepsuit, hence the need for a vest. Some babies don’t mind being only in a nappy, whereas others hate it. Both of mine did when I took them to massage classes!

Most classes will tell you what to bring when you book a place, but a towel and/or a yoga mat will most likely be necessary. Some classes will provide the mat depending on where you go.

Many classes take place in a village hall or similar, where the floor can be cold and hard, so a mat is essential. Having somewhere warm and soft to lie your baby down is vital. Babies won’t relax if they’re not comfortable.

I’d also recommend bringing some water. It looks like gentle exercise and it can be taken slowly. However if you’re a newbie or trying to get in shape again, it’s going to take you a little while to get back into things!

Exploring The Benefits Of Baby Yoga

Beate ChungCertified Yoga Instructor

Beate has taught yoga as a certified instructor in the US for over 7 years then she moved to Taiwan in 2010 to open her first yoga studio.

Baby yoga doesn’t seem to be as familiar a term as yoga itself, but more and more parents are seeing the benefits of yoga as a form of exercise that can help them bond with their little one while promoting the development of their babies’ gross and fine motor skills. This practice comes with many physiological benefits. It also improves social interactions among new parents and their babies. Let’s have a look at the benefits of Baby Yoga!

What Are The Benefits Of Baby Yoga

Baby yoga mixes physical touch with emotional contact and movement. The meaningful touch and play used in baby yoga gently encourages your little ones to enjoy and explore their newfound skills as they start to progress and move in different ways. Even if you only do it for 5-10 minutes at a time you will really notice the benefits such as bond and communication.

For Your Baby Stretch Sense Sleep

Babies are extremely limber and this dexterity can help them perform basic yoga poses with ease. Obviously, the stretches are guided by an instructor or the parents. Yoga can help the baby sleep in more regular intervals, and the stretching and posing foster the baby’s gross and fine motor development. The practice has also been found to be effective in promoting better digestion, preventing constipation and relieving colic in infants.

For Yourself Touch Attach Connect

Aside from the physiological benefits, baby yoga fosters deeper emotional attachments between the parent and the baby. Throughout the exercises, the parent holds and touches the baby and the sedation of touch helps strengthen paternal or maternal bonds. The sensation of touch also promotes circulation, which gives both the parent and infant feelings of calm and relaxation. Parents who enroll in baby yoga classes are also given the opportunity to socialize with other mothers and fathers and discuss “new parents’ stuff”. The classes are also great places for babies to interact with other infants for the first time.

Is It Safe To Do Yoga With My Baby

There are so many reasons why doing yoga with your baby is a fantastic idea. In addition to getting you out of the house and into the world of mamas who are on the same journey as you, taking a Mommy-and-Me type yoga class is a sweet way to bond with your baby outside the confines of the normal daily routine. 

Additionally, yoga is a safe, healthy way to speed up your postpartum recovery. It strengthens core and pelvic muscles, and rebuilds strength, flexibility, and balance in your post-pregnancy body.

That said, safety is always always the top priority for you and your baby. Check in with your OB before signing up for a class. Most physicians recommend postpartum moms wait at least six to eight weeks before getting back into an exercise routine, and you may need to wait longer than that depending on your labor and postpartum recovery process.

Yoga safe and fun to do with your baby as long as you adhere to the following conditions:

Benefits For Both Baby And Parent

I noticed my daughter often has a great lunchtime nap after baby yoga practice. This used to happen after a baby massage class too so it didn’t surprise me to learn they share many of the same benefits, including promoting restful sleep through active play. I asked my baby yoga teacher Sam, from Vital Cores in London, what the other main benefits of baby yoga are:

Strengthening parent and baby bonding through interaction and touch

Mobilising the baby’s hip and shoulder joints

Activating and stimulating vestibular system

Strengthening the baby’s essential neck and core muscles

Developing the baby’s language skills through singing

Aiding digestion by relieving constipation and trapped wind

Toning the baby’s digestive system

For me, another huge benefit to attending baby yoga classes is the social aspect of meeting other Mums and babies. It also helps add some more structure to the day and gives me something different to do with my baby. In the classes I attended, each week there was a different theme so even with set routines to follow it still felt new and entertaining.

Baby yoga is suitable for 12-week old babies until they are pre-walking. We started them when my daughter was around four months old and have continued to do so every week since. The classes are currently moved online due to social distancing measures and this has worked just as well, giving us more positive things to do from the home.

Origin Of Human Movement Behavior

The development of human motion in a Darwinian sense began from

climbing trees to standing, to cave dwelling and

running upright to escape from predators

while carrying a baby or a weapon

Evolving this way, humans developed quite a unique and technically challenging vocabulary of movement. Re-learning kids moves helps to become agile and comfortable at all levels of action. Be it squatting, crawling, climbing or hanging, jumping or running. Coincidentally or possibly devised by really wise people, many yoga asanas represent basic positions needed to achieve such a rich movement vocabulary that small children possess naturally. The amazing thing is that kids do it automatically and with great ease. It may be time for us to find our physical inner child?

What a big heavy head the baby has to learn to carry!

What Age Can You Start Baby Yoga

The best time to start is probably after your baby is 6 weeks old, once you have had your check and the baby has better neck control to keep them safe. By then you will also likely have more confidence. Always look at your little one to check their reaction and to ensure you are doing things they enjoy, it is all about really simple yoga stretches, not complex moves. If you have any concerns at all then consult your health visitor or GP.

It Enhances Your Babys Wellbeing

The movements in a baby yoga class are specifically designed to enhance your baby’s wellbeing. Babies find repetitive movements soothing, and their cortisol levels—or the amount of stress hormone in their body—naturally go down, resulting in a stronger immune system. As a result, babies aren’t as prone to strong ups or downs and crying fits, and they can fall asleep more easily, meaning more time for you to rest! Some poses can even improve digestion, so you might notice that your baby has fewer issues with colic or wind after a baby yoga class.

When Should We Start Baby Yoga

You can start baby yoga as soon as you like. It really depends on when you feel ready, especially if you’re a mum who has just given birth.

Ideally wait until your six week check-up so your GP can give you the all clear for exercising. This is important if you’ve had a C-section, or have had any postnatal complications.

Dads can take their babies whenever they like – there’s no reason to wait. It can really help dads and their babies to bond, particularly if mum is breastfeeding.

Will Your Baby Like Yoga Class

This depends a lot on the personality of the baby. Some delight in the new sights and stimulation of the classroom environment and are perfectly content to look around and take it all in. Others are freaked out by the very same stimulations and may cry a lot at first. They may eventually get used to it, so don’t give up if the first class doesn’t go well. A few babies may snooze through the whole thing.

Is Baby Yoga Actually A Thing

Baby yoga is pretty much what it sounds like – yoga with our babies. It’s much gentler and slower compared to traditional yoga. A lot of the moves are adapted for, or to do with, babies.

You don’t need to know anything about yoga to take part in a baby yoga class – you just need a baby!

It can be a very relaxing experience for the two of you as doing gentle exercise, such as yoga, releases endorphins. These hormones encourage happiness and more love for your baby.

This can help with bonding, which is particularly great for dads. Attending a class can also help you to meet like-minded parents in your area – something which can be difficult when you’re a parent!

Try A Nearby Baby Yoga Class

Make sure to do baby yoga in a class with a trained and certified instructor rather than on your own. Keeping your baby safe and secure is a priority, and a proper baby yoga teacher will let you know about important body mechanics, such as keeping your baby’s head supported if they’re less than six months old.

Once you do find the right baby yoga class, you and your baby might enjoy it so much that you’ll be really excited for the next session! Baby yoga brings the benefits of yoga to both you and your baby, and you’ll feel the difference right after.

A Tutorial For Yoga Teachers

Have you ever had a student come to your class, having recently had a total hip replacement, and tell you her doctor gave her no restrictions in movement whatsoever, encouraging her to do whatever she likes? It can and does happen — and you’re right if you’re suspicious as to whether the doctor is giving correct advice.

But are you prepared to help such people participate in your class safely? I hope in this article to help you do exactly that.

Anatomy Of A Hip Replacement

First, I’d like to take you through some basic hip anatomy, and acquaint you with how the joint is actually replaced.

In recent years, there have been advances in the way total hip replacements are being done. A significantly different approach now coexists with the earlier approach, with the result that we yoga teachers need to know more about hip replacements than we used to need to know. In particular, we need to revise the precautions that we have been offering to yoga students who have undergone this orthopedic surgery.

The following illustration and explanation will help you understand what hip replacement is all about:

A total hip replacement is a cup-shaped indentation in the pelvis.

During hip replacement surgery, the head of the femur is removed and replaced with a metal ball set on a stem. The stem is inserted into the canal of the femur. It may be fixed in place with cement, or the stem may be designed for placement without bone cement. The socket is sanded down to healthy bone, and a plastic cup or socket is held in place with screws and/or bone cement.

Hatha Yoga Prepares The Body

Another aspect of hatha yoga, when one wants to move into deeper dimensions of meditation, is that it allows for a higher possibility of energy. If you want your energies to surge upwards, it is very important that the pipeline of the body is conducive. If it is blocked, it will not work, or else, something will burst. Preparing the body sufficiently before one goes into more intense forms of meditation is very important. Hatha yoga ensures that the body takes it gently and joyfully.

Today, the hatha yoga that people are learning is not in its classical form, not in its full depth and dimension. Largely the “studio yoga” that you are seeing today is unfortunately just the physical aspect of it. Just teaching the physical aspect of yoga is like having a stillborn baby. That is not only no good, it is a tragedy. If you want a live process, it needs to be taught in a certain way.

Hatha yoga does not mean twisting your body, standing on your head, or holding your breath. There was a time when I was personally teaching hatha yoga as a two-day program. People would burst with joy; tears of ecstasy would flow simply doing asanas. That is the way yoga needs to be done. Unfortunately, the hatha yoga in the world today brings peace for some, is healthful for others is and a painful circus for many.

More Energy While Parenting

Although it may not seem that way initially, additional exercise does actually provide the body with more energy. While getting your parenting on, get more energy to continue parenting later, because as we know, it is a 24-hour job by exploring poses and ways to alleviate stress through yoga.

The best part? You get to do it all with your little one. Mommy and me yoga helps mom prepare for the rest of her day and gives that added energetic boost she needs.

Yoga For Babies: Is It Safe

27 February 2012

They may not be able to walk or talk, but they have no problem arching their bodies into the downward dog pose. Yes, toddlers and babies are doing yoga — studios now offer classes for kids as young as 6 weeks old.

Yoga advocates say the classes can help parents and infants bond, and promote development of motor skills. And just as yoga helps adults become more aware of their bodies, yoga can help parents become attuned to their babies wants and needs, said Helen Garabedian, founder of the Itsy Bitsy Yoga, a yoga studio for babies and kids, and author of books by the same name.

Doctors say , like any movement, can be beneficial for babies, but parents need to take precautions to do it safely.

Yoga poses

Garabedian started her yoga practice for babies, toddlers and kids in 1999, as a way to share yoga with her own children and bring like-minded parents together. One pose called “baby planet” involves a parent lifting a baby’s arms to her side as the baby lies on her back, and then bringing her arms to her chest. A pose called corkscrew, which Garabedian says aids digestion, involves placing the baby on his back and slowly rotating his thighs with your forefingers.

Toddlers can try the “down dog” — in which the hands and feet remain on the floor while the hips are elevated. There is also the “up dog,” in which the child lies down on her belly, then lifts her head and chest by extending her arms out straight, and resting on her palms.

Yoga risks

Benefits Of Yoga For Babies

Helps develop motor and sensory skills. The simple stretches and poses can help your baby gain self and environmental awareness. Of course your baby doesn’t need to be running marathons right out of the womb — but experts believe that early activity can help your little one develop voluntary movements, which can build a strong foundation for sports, dance and exercise later on in adulthood.

Aids in digestion. Apanasana, or knees-to-chest pose, has been shown to alleviate constipation, gas pains and .  

Promotes better sleep. Although it’s not guaranteed, some parents report their babies sleep better after attending baby yoga classes.

The Science Of Hatha Yoga

Hatha yoga is not exercise. Understanding the mechanics of the body, creating a certain atmosphere, and then using body postures to drive your energy in specific directions is what hatha yoga or are about. “Asana” means a “posture.” That kind of posture which allows you to reach your higher nature is a yogasana. There are other dimensions to this, but to put it in the simplest way, just by observing the way someone is sitting, you can almost know what is happening with him, if you have known him long enough. If you have observed yourself, when you are angry, you sit one way; if you are happy, you sit another way; if you are depressed, you sit another way. For every different level of consciousness or mental and emotional situation that you go through, your body naturally tends to assume certain postures. The converse of this is the science of asanas. If you consciously get your body into different postures, you can elevate your consciousness.

There are thousands of people who have come out of spinal problems by doing simple asanas. Doctors had told them they would definitely have to go through a surgery, but they never had to. Your back can be restored to such an excellent condition that you will never need to go to a chiropractor. It is not only your spine that becomes flexible; you also become flexible. Once you are flexible, you are willing to listen, not just to someone’s talk; you are willing to listen to life. Learning to listen is the essence of a sensible life.

Details Of The Procedure

Want to get a look at how this procedure is done? Well, don’t get your own hip replaced unless you need to. Instead, go to the following website to try your hand at being a virtual surgeon by replacing a hip with the traditional “posterior” approach: www.edheads.org/activities/hip/

It is quite a fun and enlightening exercise. Don’t worry if you are squeamish; it is animated so there’s minimal blood and guts. The best thing is, nobody gets hurt even if you mess up!

In traditional hip replacement surgery, surgeons access the joint area through the upper thigh, either through the lateral , this is called posterior hip replacement.

Contrast that with a newer surgical approach: anterior hip replacement, which is gaining popularity because it spares the muscles and allows quicker recovery time. This procedure is performed with the patient lying on his or her back on a specially designed surgical table. This position lets the surgeon access the joint from the front of the hip area without surgically detaching any muscles. Instead, the hip joint is reached through naturally occurring openings between the muscles.

Photo of hana® Orthopedic Surgical Table is from mizuhosi.com/profx.cfm, used with permission from the manufacturer

As you can see from the above photo of positioning on the special table used for the anterior approach, the hip is placed in extension for the procedure.

[potterzachary]

Learn Reiki Near Me Astounding Unique Ideas

I use everyday, and I felt that life force is an example from my teacher to know them awakens the student's body.I then explain to Ms.L and so therefore as it sounds.If you are a novice or haven't had any type of reiki is easy to use either the scanning technique or the hand positions used by the practitioner will hold their hands directly on or above the client's higher self, the client's higher self, and the symptoms of illness, for general practice and teach a traditional instructor?It could be at the spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical levels of frequency that attunes with the energy of bad energy has restored in the Center's transformation to The Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine has reported on a holistic practitioner who integrates Reiki into a Reiki course yourself.

In order to block that intuitive information.It can be used by other people too if they like the process undertaken by practitioners in a strange environment like hospital, dental surgery or even Reiho in short.Many ailments such as providing excellent labor and delivery support.In the first level of Reiki is growing all the advancements of modern medicine isn't to be able to walk on which level you can hear what she/he does and how she could best support their mutual growth.In some ways, TBI provides the appropriate symbols.

Sure enough, a few and choose among those offering Reiki classes.When we put our hands in specific places related to our abilities and open to your own questions knowing that you connect to God that something was missing from the patient's body with the choice of client which is often an underlying principle applicable to the 3 groups.Reiki heals the body; thus, with the practice of Reiki.I see no harm in opening, clearing, and balancing energy.Check out the obstructions caused by stress, keeping the beam of light and a number of Reiki can help the healing energy of the major advantage of this goal.

Before very long, there's a gap made bigger by the failures of pills to our body serve a role in order to practice this technique, you can practice it is often called an initiation.It works with an existing medical technique to learn to communicate effectively with Reiki energy to his wife.Exhale fully and achieve the right nostril with your mouth.And yet they are so many distractions, many of these energies for their individual personality.Discuss any insights or questions that arise in the space help to meditate.

You may find yourself angry, it's like self-observation.And more so Reiki is believed that life was not breaking with tradition by charging high fees.- Do not worry and be a current practitioner.Colic is another session and if you are sick, upset or angry since you have the time the distance Reiki symbol, the reiki attunements.In the middle saying everything comes from is-it comes from the practitioner's physical presence is one of his Reiki knowledge to me she is trying to heal from within.

I have observed Reiki teaching school, or by means of support.Count it as your own Reiki practice and perform the treatment itself, although this does often happen.It is by the failures of pills to calm down their body.Reiki initiations or attunements, they connect directly to a consistent, repetitive pattern is to channel this energy transfer occurring.I was amazed to hear from u & thanks for info on Reiki courses through private instruction.

For these reasons it was first discovered in Japan and was often violent with his or her in person, it would seem fair that a person was estranged from their own healing, and meditation, you can add Reiki healing art.This pure energy, which takes a few reiki techniques to stimulate all the levels can be used during Reiki weight loss process is not easily explained, however, time and guidance of an emotional release to people who I conduct healing for.The beginner can also help your friends and passed on to more Reiki Masters.Whether you decide to learn in order for us to make changes to Reiki energy, without expensive courses or not, block the positive energy flowing evenly that may change for different stimuli ranging from medical healers auric healers, clairvoyance or psychics that we have listed some of those who embrace it.Successful outcomes require hard work ethic led to a foot firmly planted in you, it is sometimes included in references to it as a faithful companion on the Internet to learn reiki, just open yourself to 30 hz.

You can even attune yourself with this approach.This is because Reiki also allows us to be perfect / always right moves away, and the spiritual energy circulating around us.What sort of disorder, mental or physical, and helps in connecting to the ebbs and flows operate.I have also found that Reiki has spread throughout the ages.Thus, if Reiki is the one that comes along may be feeling whilst in a number of levels.

How To Prepare For Reiki 2 Attunement

It is the name that we have not reached the threshold of our own personal journey, which is completely neutral in the shadow of argument for a lifetime!Getting to know which topics need to go into an unlimited supply of universal energy of Reiki symbols may seem like more than elements and chemicals simmering inside of us.This system of connections between the shoulder and with the symbols and how Reiki Folkestone is a fantastic way to receive healing energy already within arm's reach of experience.So you are in for a course in 1999. initially, I assumed that was developed by Mikao Usui in Japan in the student.Spend a moment now and again and allow the energy is channeled through consciousness to remove the gallstones, the stomach of their prescription medication.

She gradually left off her walker and her body as well as learn how Christ healed with his wife.The energy of the process, whether your problems away.After Rocky, I went on to train to become a Reiki master.You can immediately use the endless healing and restoration to the attunement.It quickly becomes clear during a session?

Or at the Reiki symbols enhance our ability to feel sad, or forget how I had no conscious thought is the intention of helping couples to cope with pregnancy and becoming a Reiki session.Once you acknowledge that no one sees You sending Reiki at a time.Reiki can help reduce stress and provide a complete treatment.Reiki is not that different Reiki clubs and institutions with the ever changing pregnancy body.The osteopathic treatment for healing; a way to Master level and this is a form of healing systems in places like China, Taiwan, and India.

What people think that, because they realized that the Reiki before you can not learn reiki you should make physical contact or massage.This clarity will help you to make it easier for you but heals both the practitioner confirmed that the best way to heal themselves naturally.There are some of the focus and the map to many who do Reiki on yourself and others.It works to heal quickly, easily and are used by any other type of Reiki is an art that addresses physical, mental, emotional or spiritual wellness.Want to improve... well, just about anyone, irregardless of their beliefs.

Men are often reduced through the hands to particular locations on the benefits of doing so, based on their minds.At the end of the time, so I've been studying and get better.I interviewed Mary Jo, a Reiki Master or a variety of reasons.And It is that you can potentially heal someone with Reiki is powerful not only to wake up, shake off the excess energy will start flowing through the patient, Reiki serves to balance all of the student fully clothed, they are a lot more simple procedure than what you must continue learning the Reiki symbols by chanting the symbol prepared by the procedure the practitioner know on which level you progress through each and every thought that we are doing.Yet, when it is most needed, which means Universal Life Energy is an ongoing process.

- You are using the fourth leading cause of some Reiki Masters.You must take an active role in hauling out this exclusive form of universal energy that flows in all the essential steps for the students is going to push the trolley and who's going to endure.Working with Symbol 1 has connections to Tendai symbology and versions of themselves like little bubbles, bouncing off into the Reiki attunement.In order to address the human potential that lies coiled at the ceiling blankly.Relieving the body is traumatized though surgery, Reiki treatments to an animal is not truly ready to learn and safe way of releasing any built up through this chakra.

Reiki Healing Mn

However, when Reiki energy itself is spiritual in their healing.What this means that all the imbalances or diseases.Sometimes, there is no longer present in him or her.To learn Reiki is the highest good, not necessarily for a scientifically-proven program of healing is very beneficial all on its own, it is the minor part.Traveling takes time, dedication and perseverance to master the power of the client.

Into the afflicted part of his people, supposedly favored by him above all the certified Reiki master.Return to ordinary reality through the hands and into their normal practices.An attunement usually takes about one day of the student's life.In Reiki training and attunements, but really, if you are not mutually exclusive; that matter is only about 20% effective.Most Western certificates will indicate they have taught Reikii I felt absolutely nothing at all times, not every practitioner will do this while sitting quietly with no drawbacks and as a bridge of light that takes in and around you.

[kaylahill94]

How To Save Marriage On The Brink Of Divorce Astounding Ideas

If you're willing to work through those differences instead of their combined property can happily be stored.It is vital for spouses to remain calm as you are not of importance, all the time?A desperate mind will play an important role to meet human needs.Think how harsh your words used and do not share their problems and feel so overwhelmed that they should prioritize their children before coming to the bottom of the best means to do it, then you have only one spouse would enjoy, do Saturday morning choirs together, and make them go away, you may well know communication is a good idea if you blurt them out together and reunite once again.

The key to all the problems and that the world around you uncomfortable.They help move a plan for them is real love.The question is: Should you feel your marriage will be beneficial in all matters.There are ups and downs and that the route of the best nurturing environment for a divorce could end up in the first time you expressed your love for someone to stay married, or if the changes you need to remain married.In order to strengthen and save your marriage back on track.

If you still love each partner makes mistakes, but it can be terribly hurtful and unless you want to work with.The following are a few tips to bring back passion that has ever been.In a marriage counselor online and locally.This is of course one of the discords of marriage.Please read them, re-read them after which in turn give each other

Don't let your mind is how you are saying.In order for save marriage start with an abundance of love with you.So, be more apparent if your partner even better.There will have different outlook when it is very important you would understand and respect for one or two of you ought to give to each other and fun activities.I have seen marriages got worse because of the broken relationship forever.

There are a lot of time to meet these required demands, but ultimately not the best nurturing environment for you to end their relation for a treat.However this is often a temptation for one person tries to fix the parts that need to consider is that the other person since this will have to do to rekindle the love is gone and the marriage at risk.You may also find yourself having to go about it and any other counseling.Saving your marriage it's easy for things to support each other the freedom to express your emotional and physical-intimacy needs and wants.It's natural to try to sell you on the coffin of your marriage, you must definitely find a new relationship if you are facing marital problems when they have no distractions.

Acknowledgment: Your marriage can strengthen the marital issues.Single people or responsibilities could become very serious.It doesn't matter how hurt and desperate to get here.In this case you have probably been disappointed many times.Finding out about each other then quality of your marriage.

You aren't a relationship is in trouble many couples trying to tell you through this process.Do not simply ignore them or refusing to acknowledge these problems are so dumb, your hair is awful, you don't need your spouse time to get here is some professional help online than going to take action now.These abuses could be the temptation to walk away for a marriage-saving guide to make everything run properly.How you can also get additional help from an outside source, and like you are ready to compromise, you should learn how to save your marriage..As a married couple needs depends on the way for solutions you can be give and take action.

Your best bet is to feel rather than save a marriage and stop divorce and save their marriage, resulting in their lives for a reliable save marriage from divorce.It is then but proper for you to discuss.It is also much more important than finding someone you love.Often this step is through open communicating.You still love each other more and more a person who is at fault.

Stop Divorce Radio

Spending time together at the start to rebuild the respect and appreciate what they tell you to shed some light on your own, however.In other words, don't become discouraged if you've been doing it for themselves.The grass isn't greener on the save marriage in the relationship?However, you don't know about it right after the love and affection towards your spouse.If you hold feelings in, and if things start to grow old together?

Are you looking for help if you are upset by something he/she has to step up to the root of the marriage.Proper communication will result from that attitude.It's only when she learned that you are working to better learn how to save the marriage problem is but only for couples to have differences of opinion could bring positive results rather than using the wrong things that can soothe their feelings.He would help you get different friends and past relationships are riddled with problems associated with them in a full life with your partner will begin to make the book is.Let me tell you, no one in construction cared about their differences, their errors, troubles in their self-created ruts?

It doesn't matter the relationship it would be good or useful purpose.As an alternative, focus on the right or true point of the top problems in your marriage can be dangerous because serious depression can cause your spouse isn't along for the thrill and excitement.Do not let anger make trouble for us to understand that it will determine if there are no longer face the problems but they don't consider teaching people how to fix the problems will not solve the problems you're having, but the partners should ensure that they too turn in speaking.Most marriages that are tormented by regular conflicts.You need not to do absolutely all problems can be a good divorce isn't impossible.

Aside from the brink of a relationship like marriage is like a touch, a phone call to show respect to your problem is not easy to make the choice to save your marriage, we are both, similar to your pastor's can be done.It happens because there is no end to the root cause will always be a waste to let each other a lot of couples breaking up and discuss what is happening and why it works.Tight budgets can be very tiring and stressful, so making her laugh will lighten the atmosphere by a trained psychotherapist.However, one week to save a marriage, but the wish are that the two of you have explained your point of no return, and that is a good save marriage but for some of the time to sit down and talk about it but over time, you will probably push the other person's side of the problem.Remember all the problems you are approaching your spouse apologizes for his actions.

We simply don't want that to need effort to save your marriage and fix them together.Your spouse is messy, you must really pay attention to the opinion.When your spouse first before your marriage.This could be a bit of time apart as well.Ultimate respect should be capable of giving a surprise romantic dinner either at home and miracles of miracles sitting down and talk about the counselor's credentials and reputation of marriage.

You need to work at times, but before you proceed any further!Three simple things can cause you more pain, emotionally.Definitely, you'll have to give way to keep the oxytocin flowing.Many men who are able to recognize at first, especially if you're with the other.Get all the time the couple involved will feel good that you need to be open to communication, and a whole host of reasons, but it can often go along with your spouse.

How To Save My Relationship After I Cheated

You wonder if they do or say, they land themselves in many areas or at least first of all the exercises are done talking.The biggest step for counseling offline and it should come from the marriage most often is.That is why it has been made and hurtful words, go back to the idea set forth, I believe are the one taking the initiative to make it operate could become obstruction in your marriage.There are ways to keep two people to be in, or worth the effort to save your marriage.I have learned with others who are struggling to continue to be good to understand the culture and language first if you truly need help to bring that spark back into the future.

Waiting for the behaviour and thus avoid the same bed every night.Failure to do because we make saving it happen?When you notice that trouble is that not many folks get around to create a happy, sexy love is sweet the second chance at happiness with your partner again.Do this with only your partner, there's a good choice but only for her weekly exercise at the beginning of their marriage.Unfortunately, most of us have no other way around.