#and about misogyny because like. this isn't the case for gay men in media.

[and-fishing-equipment]

the reason why so much lesbian media sucks is because it's not really about women loving women and more about women not loving men. i wish to live in a world where lesbian media can acknowledge that lesbianism exists as its own separate thing without any background ties to heterosexuality or lack thereof. it's not an "alternative" to heterosexuality, some people are just dykes because they think women are neat, not because men can't satisfy them.

[sharpth1ng]

What do you think is mentally wrong with billy and stu other then being “insane”

I don't actually think they're insane, tbh. I'm going to give a long explanation of this but I just want to say I'm not judging you or the question. Terms like this get miss-used a lot in pop media (including in Scream) so it's easy to get the wrong idea.

"Insane" is a legal category, not a medical diagnosis. Legally, insanity refers to someone being in a state where they are so out of touch with reality that they can't be considered responsible for their actions. The way this works is complicated, but simply put if the crime was violent then it needs to be proven that the accused person didn't actually know what they were doing.

Successful insanity pleas are very very rare, both because the burden of proof is super high and because people with disorders that involve a break from reality don't commit violent crime that often at all. It's actually pretty rare.

So yeah, by that definition these two are not insane at all. They know exactly what they are doing and they intend to do it. They call themselves "psychotic" but that's also a miss-use of the term. They very clearly don't have psychosis, and aside from that people with psychosis are less likely to act violently than people who don't have it (this is a statistical fact).

On that note I just want to point out that the way media connects violence with psychotic disorders is a real problem. It stigmatizes and isolates the real people who struggle with this stuff. It causes others to judge and fear them, it makes them fear themselves, and it makes it harder for them to access treatment and care. So yeah the psychotic line in Scream is a real pet-peeve of mine, that's why I changed it in my writing.

Getting back to Billy and Stu I really don't think their issues and behaviours can be boiled down to any mental health issues. To be clear I don't think anyones bad behaviour can be boiled down to mental health issues. In some cases mental health issues can help us understand where behaviour is coming from, but they're never the only cause. So I'll talk about the way I write them in terms of the issues they deal with, but just keep in mind that these things not the cause of their actions.

I write Billy autistic partly because I am (but also because of the canonical horror movie special interest and third act meltdown) and I'd say my portrayal of Stu also indicates some type of neurodivergence- probably something like ADHD but I don't have any specific diagnosis in mind. Billy also has some attachment and trust issues- these aren't diagnosis or disorders but they are definitely things he struggles with. For his part Stu is dealing with parental neglect and struggles with loneliness as well as under-stimulation.

All of this stuff informs the way they behave with each other, the walls they put up, and the types of relationships they have with other people. For example Billy isn't emotionally open to Sidney at any point. Even if he wasn't gay there was never a possibility for their relationship to work out because he's completely closed off to her. He doesn't trust her.

In terms of what I think is truly wrong with these two it's the misogyny, the slut shaming and the self-centeredness. That's the kind of stuff that I think explains their behaviour for real, and none of it is related to their mental health issues or insecurities.

Stu is a rich white boy living in suburban California and the way I write him, so is Billy. They have shitty values and the kind of privileged upbringing that teaches men to see themselves as the main character. Billy literally has one of those scary tiktok boy moms, like when we see Nancy in Scream 2 she fully excuses all of his behaviour. He's been brought up not having to take accountability or consider the real effects of his actions. Neither of them have.

So yeah tldr: They aren't insane, they do have some legit mental health issues the way I write them, but none of that stuff causes their actions in the movie. Their actions are caused by a toxic combination of sexism and main character syndrome, which are not mental health issues.

I hope all that makes sense!

[blushydrangea]

im here to ask u ur thoughts in the... pj controversy ehhekekfke i wanna say smthn abt but like i feel as if i dont grasp the whole thing yet so i chose to shut up rn

hi love! under the cut so the people who are tired of discussing this topic can avoid it.

it's a long one!

i know everyone here has likely come across the tweets pj made, but as an archiver at heart i feel the need to break everything down. screenshots aren't mine.

on the 18th, pj made a tweet about fellow drag queen and artist chappell roan, questioning the authenticity of her love for drag. most people (me included!) thought she was trolling, which unfortunately didn't happen to be the case. plane appeared to be under the impression that chappell was mean or cold towards drag queens she invited to her shows, something she allegedly heard about in boston and, according to some people on reddit so take this with a grain of salt, was debunked. she followed her tweet with another, ironically saying "i love chappell roan". the first tweet was then deleted.

after several people accused plane jane of trying to gatekeep drag from women & having an unfair opinion deeply rooted in misogyny, pj released a notes app screenshot on the 19th. however, going against the purpose of most notes screenshots, hers wasn't an apology. instead, she chose to call out the hypocrisy of people attacking her because they were calling her a man (it's important to note that pj hasn't directly told us what her ood pronouns are afaik).

she made some more shady tweets after that and argued with stans on social media but i don't feel like including these, so the last update we have was this apology pj made for her fandom.

before i speak my mind on this, i just wanna say that i am willing to discuss this as long as people are polite, any aggressive messages i might receive will be promptly deleted.

to be honest, i didn't like what she said. being a person with a platform and, let's be real, several crazy stan accounts who follow her word like gospel, it was wrong in my opinion to call a growing lesbian artist (one of the very few we have, at that) performative for her love of drag. someone who also engages in the *checks notes* performative art of drag. there isn't much of a "bag" to be secured by pretending you love drag, as it's not that mainstream, and i can't help but wonder if pj would have the same criticism were chappell a gay man instead of a lesbian woman.

misogyny is real and it's present in all of us, we were all raised to see women as less than. pj is white and male-presenting with her makeup off, she isn't incapable of misogyny because she is gay or a drag queen. therefore, it rubbed me in the wrong way to see her voice out the same beliefs i've heard from other gay men before – that women deserve to be questioned whenever they exist in drag spaces. i don't agree with the sentiment that pj meant women shouldn't do drag, as she never said that. though she honestly reminded me of those men who ask me very specific and tricky questions about the tree of gondor or whatever when i tell them i love the lord of the rings. are you a true fan?

her notes app statement was what pissed me off. she was really immature imo, ofc she's only 26 so there's room for growth, but twisting a situation you inserted yourself in to seem like the victim based on... people calling you a cis man? come on. it was a self-centered statement made by someone who seemed to refuse to take any criticism on this subject matter. i was very disappointed she chose the "but you are wrong too!" route instead of apologizing to the people she hurt.

her apology to her fandom was... fine, i guess. it served to show me that she seems to be comfortable living in her bubble.

do i think she's a bad person? no, i don't. but i do think she had a misogynistic take and doubled down on it because she refuses to admit she was wrong. i'm staying away from her for the time being, i'll probably get over it eventually but rn i don't wanna see her face all that much. no judgement whatsoever to people who forgave her and are still posting about her, it's your blog, do what you want <3

[hopelessrromantix]

Oh my god. Yet another teenaged afab asshole with internalized misogyny. Look, don’t worry about people interacting with your ‘writing’ (insert all the eye rolls). You may think you’re some huge talent that needs to swat hoards of unworthy readers away, but somehow I doubt that’s the case. I’ve never heard of you until I came across your unhinged tirade in a tag I follow. I suspect I’m not missing much. Also? You don’t get to speak for mlm because you’ve been identifying as a gay man for 5 minutes.

Good luck being angry at everything! Hope 2023 provides you with much fodder for outrage. You seem to live off it.

Hi! Allow me to introduce myself!

My (online) name is Roman, I'm a 19 year old transitioning gay man who has identified as such for 6+ years now. I am a writing major and screenwriter who also writes numerous essays on feminism in media and epidemic of women, POC, and LGBTQ+ people being mistreated and misrepresented! I've had several such essays reviewed as well as won numerous awards for my writing and live performances!

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I'm no huge talent. Never in my life will i pretend to be more than a guy with like five friends on the internet just posting shit I wanna write. If you haven't heard of me, it probably means you were staying in your lane until now!

I, as someone who's been in several MLM relationships, feel disgusted and fetishized by women consuming sexual MLM content. Honestly, with how angry y'all get at men fetishizing women I would've thought you'd had more brain cells.

As someone who is fueled by rage, I'm sure better people than you will provide plenty of fodder. I'll die on this hill and looking like an asshole doing it just to protect my five gay friends on the internet. And I'll gladly post stuff like this so everyone can see just why I hate women interacting w my stuff.

I tag stuff as masc exclusive, you so weren't meant to find it. I put this in general tags because some people clearly don't get the message. Btw, I've gotten mostly dms about men agreeing. Keyword: MEN. Go ahead, ask any MLM writers. You've got the 'related blog' section right? Link a MLM masc writer this and watch how hard they laugh at you.

Since you clearly don't like my material it should be really easy to stay the fuck away! In fact, either you were already doing it or you're a fem person trying to feel whole again once we call you out for being a fucking fetishizing pervert. Your call.

I know it may be hard to believe, but fem aligned people don't own all of tumblr! Some shit isn't for you and I don't care that you, for some deluded reason, believe I'm misogynistic.

ill have a great time fueling the fires of my rages with idiots like you

[medusasbush]

read in march 2023

articles (ones behind a paywall are linked through webpage archive):

articles

Reverse boundaries How good are we at respecting when someone else says 'no'?

"Slow Pleasure" in a Fast World

Should People Be Allowed to Like Things? Are we discoursing ourselves to death?

The Divine Delusion of Gender: On "Energy" and the TikTokification of Spirituality

Spiritual misogyny is flourishing on TikTok

How ‘Poker Face’s’ Stop-Motion Animation Episode Was Brought to Life

Are there too many sex scenes in movies?

Man Says BetterHelp Referred Him to Conversion Therapy Supporter

Who's Afraid of Mark Rothko?

When Everything Becomes an Event

Meet the Lipsdick: A Dick Shaped Lipstick

How Do We Define the Female Gaze in 2018?

Do Words Mean Anything Anymore?

It’s Been Over Two Decades Since We’ve Had a Non-White Best Actress Winner. Will That Change in 2023?

I'm Coming Clean about Friend Envy & You Should Too

A Friend Doesn't Have to be "Toxic" to be Bad for You

Does Anyone Mend Clothes Anymore?

The Moral Case Against Equity Language

Inspiration Is Everywhere. Literally: The "We're Not Really Strangers"-ification of social media.

Men Are Lonely. But Women Are Being Attacked: Male Loneliness is Not Women's Problem to Solve

Romance isn't Just for Dating

What is Romantic Friendship?

The Case of the Missing Perpetrator: On Mysterious Pregnancies, the Passive Voice, and Disappearing Men

Dingus of the Week: Women’s History Month

Friends and mentees remember Judy Heumann, mother of the disability rights movement

The Language of Place

One of Walgreens biggest stockholders commissioned Fearless Girl

Fine I'll admit it. I Like Titanic.

A Plan Forms in Mexico: Help Americans Get Abortions

Can Nostalgia Be Sinister?

The Stay-At-Home Girlfriend Phenomenon

A Conversation With Stay-At-Home Girlfriend & Content Creator Kendel Kay

The Soft Boy Brigade: Was He “Written By a Woman” or Is He Just Wearing Nail Polish?

The Scientific Reason You Love Watching Reruns

Take Some Pills for Your Hysteria, Lady: America's Long History of Drugging Women Up

Everybody’s a Critic. So Stop Hating Critics.

A League of Their Own Is The First Great Gay Movie-to-TV Reboot

The Bear: At Last, A Chicago Show For People Who Are Not From Chicago And Have Never Stepped Foot There

the science of giving pain

i bet she has a nice scream: in praise of X, the new novel by Davey Davis

the persistent desire: on erotic identification

leatherdyke gender technology

‘The Last of Us’ Finale: First-Person Shooter

The ‘Last of Us’ Finale Is Just as Ambiguous and Agonizing as the Game’s Indelible Ending

What Exactly Is the Point of ‘The Last of Us’?

Do We Need Another ‘Love Letter to Cinema’?

Everyone needs to grow up: Whether it’s people who mention their Hogwarts house on their Hinge profile or literal white supremacists, culture is awash with adult babies

Instagram Store Core: A Manifesto Against Avant-Basic Home Design

Who Gets Care and Who Gets to Die?

Shoppers say secondhand stores like Goodwill are getting too expensive as Gen Z makes thrifting cool

Where Does Discarded Clothing Go?

How ‘travel aesthetics’ are ruining travel for everyone

Why is everyone so obsessed with frontal lobe development?

the sinking pleasure of a bath

Love, Sex, and Disabled Women: we want to be sexy too.

“Nope” Perfectly Encapsulates My Disappointment with the Biden Administration

What really killed Jane Austen?

On (Not) Discovering Disability in the World of Jane Austen: Disabled characters are present in Austen’s novels, but largely invisible in her cinematic remakes

Nathan Lane: Robin Williams ‘Protected Me’ From Coming Out as Gay on ‘Oprah’ in 1996 Because ‘He Was a Saint’

'The Last of Us’ finale isn’t controversial, it’s correct

The Oscars are beyond repair. Let’s make something better.

The House That Mr. Mayer Built: Inside the Union-Busting Birth of the Academy Awards

‘A League of Their Own’ is based on the 1992 movie, but has an identity all its own

Black Southern food isn’t killing us:The ‘plate’ is not the real problem

In the history of hip-hop fashion, there’s no ignoring Lil’ Kim

The next first ladies of rap

books:

Wear, Repair, Repurpose: A Maker's Guide to Mending & Upcycling Clothes by Lily Fulop

[trannyradfem]

I wanted to look into this referenced post in case I missed anything-- I'm afraid I didn't. I'll explain--

When radical feminists talk about pregnancy as a tragedy, as an invading force akin to body horror, we are often speaking from personal experience. ESPECIALLY if the discussion was recently about abortion.

We are also often talking about men poking holes in their condoms, lying about protection, and coercing women into unprotected sex so he can trap her and abuse her. Sky high pregnancy mortality rates for black women, lack of access to abortion, husband stitches, abusive males, and an entire system that is compliant with our oppression as women. Women who grew up seeing pregnancy and motherhood romanticized, only to wake up to the harsh reality of a lost/ delayed future, and constant exhausting labor without anywhere near enough support to do it alone, which men on a large scale tend to push onto their partners.

Those things are objectively horrific, because they are dehumanizing and oppressive on a massive scale. Pregnancy is indeed extremely cold and mechanical for the women who are forced through it, and for those like me who deeply fear it. And these things are also terrifyingly common BECAUSE of misogyny. What right do you have to silence that?

When you say that pregnancy and motherhood IS (and not "can be") "beautiful, and something to be appreciated", you're dismissing every woman who has been tortured by her own bodily functions, either naturally or as a result of the misogynistic world we live in. And we have every single right to feel the way we do.

Sure, pregnancy is natural, but that doesn't mean it's universally a good thing. My severe hormonal issues are also entirely "natural", does that make them desirable? No. It is not in women's "nature" to reproduce, I'm genuinely not sure how you don't think that's misogynistic to say. Or cruel to women who want to give birth, but cannot because their natural body cannot.

Speaking of which, mpreg is funny because men fundamentally don't have uteruses at all, and the media it's in have so-bad-it's-funny explanations for how it can happen in their piece of fiction, like A/B/O fanfic. It is pure absurdism. Not a systemic hatred for pregnancy.

Pregnancy, whether you personally like it or not, will be a tool of oppression so long as misogyny exists. And when you're a lesbian, this is even more true. Think about what an unwanted, forced pregnancy means for us. Think of the shame, think of the body horror, the terror for your life and health, and a new life you aren't prepared to care for at all. The only time a pregnancy isn't unwanted for us is when we've paid a fuckload of money to access any form of in vitro or or surrogacy, the latter of which is problematic.

Saying that "we will always need pregnancy, sorry", is pretty fucking gross and makes me nauseous to read as a lesbian. Like first off there are SO many unwanted children in the adoption system. Doesn't that tell you anything about the nature of pregnancy on a larger scale and how much direct and irresponsible control males have over our bodies, that we have a fuckload of unwanted babies and children?

Second, we don't "need" it, actually. Even if I was the last woman on earth and the only way to revive our species was to allow the last man alive to rape me, I'd shoot him and then myself. And you don't get to have any authority over that. I mean, you'd be dead if I was the last woman left anyways, but still. Saying we "need" pregnancy as a species has some pretty disgusting fucking implications. Like, no, actually, many lesbians and every single gay man have ZERO NEED to ever experience pregnancy.

Even if you don't mean any of those implications, you're still saying the same exact shit homophobes say to us. "Because gay people cannot naturally reproduce, they are useless to the future of society, and will be a detriment to our evolution. Straight people are superior because they can conceive".

So, no, a radical feminist is not going to react well to this sentiment, and now I can definitely see why someone called you a cock worshipping breeder. Especially when this could all change as medical tech advances so pregnancy doesn't neccesarily need to happen at the expense of women. You seem to think that allowing women to have a choice in that is the same thing as eradicating pregnancy, and that eradicating pregnancy is what we want. It isn't.

You don't really get to say, "No, actually, pregnancy is natural and wonderful and we should all love it. And when you hate it, you're just as bad as men." Just because we are women doesn't mean we NEED to love pregnancy. That is homophobic and misogynistic nonsense.

Hating pregnancy and how it works on a societal level is also not the same thing as hating pregnant women. We aren't out here being like "ew pregnant women are so ugly", or "ew stretch marks", that is literally MEN who do that. We mourn the women who will lose decades of their lives to something they were coerced into. That is simply not wanting to eradicate pregnancy, and literally nobody is advocating for that.

Admittedly the way people talk about motherhood makes me a bit sad. Both in the world at large and on here. It's true that as women we have essentially been treated as incubators and the natural capability of our bodies was/is exploited and used to keep us in line. But I really do think that motherhood, carrying and raising children, is beautiful and something to be appreciated. We literally have the power to create life and men don't. True, not all women can give birth but anyone who can give birth is a woman. And while I capitulate that we used to be treated like incubators in the past, some people use this term to even describe pregnancies that are wanted. And I think it's a bit misogynistic to compare something as cold and machine-like as an incubator to something women are naturally able to do. It feels objectifying.

I feel like a lot of radical feminists talk about pregnancy as if it were a travesty. As if you've become corrupted by an evil force. I know that pregnancy can have a serious impact on a woman's body but sometimes I feel like the way people talk about pregnancy on here is misogynistic towards women who want to be pregnant. I don't think it's really that progressive to talk about something that women's bodies are naturally able to do as if it were some sort of curse. Many of us see it that way because men used to use our reproductive capabilities as a way to control us, and still do to an extent. We can't stoop to their level. It's not inherently a bad thing.

I've also noticed that a lot of societal messaging seems to imply that pregnancy is an inferior state. Both misogynists and radical feminists talk about it as if it means your life is over. That you're nothing more than a mother now. That you've been defeated by the patriarchy. And while I understand that the feminist perspective is different (it's critiquing the misogynist perspective), I've never really seen radical feminists try to empower mothers or talk about how we can change the way society views motherhood. A lot of them seem to think no women should be mothers at all. Motherhood is just going to be a part of our reality. We're living things and it's in our nature to reproduce. It is ultimately a choice but human nature is powerful. Antinatalism is not going to happen, sorry. And I feel like pregnancy is mocked. Women are mocked for things like morning sickness and cravings. Pregnant women often aren't taken seriously because of their "hormones". There's a reason why so many people find m-preg so humorous.

In many ways it does suck to be a mother, but that's because of societal issues. I do believe it's misogynistic to denigrate the concept or pregnancy as a whole. I'll never believe that something women's bodies are naturally able to do cannot coexist with female liberation.

[lavenderfeminist]

Do you think writing mlm as a woman is immoral? I'm not asking accusingly or as some sort of gotcha, but rather as a genuine question. Do you think women who write mlm erotica contribute to real world harm and perpetuate homophobic stereotypes? I've seen some radfems say that women who write mlm hurt themselves by not dealing with internalized misogyny enough to feel comfortable writing wlw (assuming they're bi/lesbian) and they hurt gay men via their fetishism. Or is it using that pornified version of gay men to feel entitled to sexually harass them/catfish/rape by deception where the line is crossed? Hope this isn't antagonistic I am just curious about your take.

When it comes to writing about sex you're incapable of having, and which is written to arouse (rather than to what, move the plot along?), I'm not sure how you can confidently do so in a way that guarantees you're not perpetuating harmful stereotypes or blatant inaccuracies to your readers, or how you can consume media about sex you cannot understand, with the intention of getting off, in a way that isn't simply voyeuristic. I'm not inclined to believe the majority of the women writing that material are asking the gay men in their lives how, in explicit detail, they have sex, and I'm not sure how many gay men would be comfortable with that line of questioning. When it gets down to writing sex, not just a slow fade out or vague descriptions of feelings and sensations, I find myself unable to understand why women would not find themselves at least insecure, at most disturbed, by the prospect of writing an explicit sex scene between two men when they are literally incapable of understanding that type of intimacy. Maybe I'm making it too deep. Maybe women having a warped view of how gay men have sex would just be an unfortunate/weird/gross but harmless inevitability to me, if I didn't think it was bleeding into the societal treatment of gay men. Maybe my opinion would be different if I didn't think there was clear evidence that the increasing prevalence of women harassing gay men for not being attracted to them is tied in a significant capacity to their consumption of female-written gay male erotica and explicit fanfiction, similar to how men's consumption of lesbian porn is exacerbating their fetishization and harassment of lesbians (though clearly pornography has far more dire physical consequences). If I thought women could write and get off to it without it coloring their thoughts and treatment of gay men, then I guess I'd have to say I found it pretty uncomfortable but not something worth dedicating energy to. Clearly that's not the case because what people consume is directly tied to their worldview whether they like it or not.

Welp, now I've thought about this to the point where I'm philosophizing rather than stating my initial thought, which is: homosexual relationships don't exist for the sexual gratification of heterosexuals, and I don't know why fiction can be considered exempt from this attitude without there being obvious negative consequences for homosexuals. Do ask a gay man about it.

[yuk1-tsukumo]

jujutsu kaisen characters as halloween and/or horror characters ✧･ﾟ: * [sfw]

a/n: i had no plans to participate in spooktober, but i changed my mind, so here it is—my first halloween-themed post!

these contain minor spoilers for certain movies, so proceed at your own risk. here's part 2. enjoy <3

w/c: 524

nobara kugisaki

she's one-hundred percent tatum riley from the first scream movie

fiercely protective of her best friend

not just from media intrusion

"he and his penis don't deserve [her]"

fashionable and popular

she's got a strong/dominating personality & a himbo bf

lowkey can't see nobara dating a man but let's ignore that... anyway...

tatum didn't tolerate stu's sexist shit and nobara would be the same

routinely disrespects adults and authorities like it's no big deal

mostly her older brother, but STILL

refused to go down without a fight

and that iconic "no, please don't kill me, mr. ghostface, i wanna be in the sequel!", in her dreamy but mocking tone? it exudes nobara energy

maki zenin

she's got to be a badass, so... someone like ellen ripley from alien

she usually made the right calls but some idiotic man or android would choose to ignore her and that is when all hell let loose

ripley, like maki, is brash and didn't hesitate to challenge men

she has a strong personality, but she isn't impulsive or too emotional

fucking efficient and she saved a cat! what more could you ask for?

ellen ripley also sparked the gay awakening of generations of women, so it feels right to compare her to maki

mai zenin

i instantly thought of jennifer check from jennifer's body

i could just write "lesbian cheerleader" and leave it at that, tbh

but all of it feels very representative of mai

jennifer only became what she did because she was lusted, preyed on and hurt by men

mai is a very hurtful person, but a huge part of that is because of the zenin clan and all their misogyny

i feel like jennifer & mai both feel the need to be the "tough bitch"

and both were, in a way, abandoned by the woman most important to them—jennifer by needy (her "heart") and mai by her sister

plus, "i'm going to eat your soul and shit it out" & "no, i'm killing boys" are simply iconic quotes that could only come out the mouth of a baddie such as mai

momo nishimiya

definitely elaine parks from the love witch

at first, my only reason was their aesthetics—momo is such a dainty character, and she has this air of sophistication

it just reminded me of elaine's feminissima attire and soft voice

but the themes of the film are quite similar to momo's monologue

elaine saying "[men] can get crushed down if you assert yourself in any way" and "[men want] just a pretty woman to take care of them" mirrors momo telling nobara that it's not just about strength, because "women have to be cute, or they'll be undervalued"

both of them recognize that men really do not care about women if it's not for their beauty or body

and i guess that because of it, they taught themselves to be physically attractive and shaped their personality to be what a male-dominated society wants or expects of them

or, in fewer words, to be desirable to men

in elaine's case it's for "love", and for momo it's just to move along in life

[gascon-en-exil]

Good points all around. I can fill in some details on the negative perception of M/M content.

In the last decade or so, transformative fandom has been disproportionately dominated by M/M content, equivalent to and sometimes even more numerous than M/F content. You can see this in AO3 metrics, as well as in many of the big-name ships and ship drama of the 2010s, ex. the Johnlock Conspiracy of Sherlock, Destiel of Supernatural, or the Voltron shipping war that kicked off the anti-shipping phenomenon. In more recent years there have been attempts to explain the reason for this abundance of gay male-centered fan content, because it certainly isn't reflected in published media which continues to favor straight relationships or, as the ask points out, marketable lesbianism.

One conclusion has been that it's the fault of horny straight women "fetishizing" gay male relationships, and because horny is bad in some internet circles and "fetishizing" anyone is bad then it follows that all that M/M content is also bad. This results in what I've seen dubbed the "eat your vegetables" mentality toward F/F, where people attempt to push lesbian content as morally superior to M/M for all manner of reasons, and to condemn fans and fandoms that still favor M/M. Focusing on male characters is misogyny, yaoi reduces gay men to heteronormative stereotypes, erotica itself is bad and M/M content, like the hypersexual culture of real-life queer men, is just overall too horny to be truly progressive, (this one from TERFS) yaoi "converts" women into gay trans men, etc.

Somewhat related to this, it's also become something of an in-road for straight men (like...you know...) to enter into the performative social media game of determining the worth of everything based on how progressive you can make it sound. Fujoshi, after all, can always rely on the line of thought that they're women exploring their sexualities and that to oppose this is classic patriarchy, while queer men like me know that our sex, our relationships, and the ways we engage with those subjects in fiction will always be politicized regardless of anything else we do or believe. Now though these men can freely express their revulsion toward M/M content while claiming to be feminists supporting lesbians...provided that it's a safe sort of lesbianism that's still accessible to them (as always happens to be the case when it comes to talking about fictional lesbians) and that that feminism also comes with some oddly paternalistic caveats like those found in a certain notorious piece of fanfiction.

This all however rests on the assumption that M/M and F/F are of equal appeal to everyone, which is patently untrue especially when discussing erotica. This only holds up if you view queerness through an abstract, nonthreatening, and virtually sexless lens, with its existence only valuable insofar as it allegedly proves how progressive a piece of media is - that performative social media game again. I can't imagine anyone who enjoys any sort of queer content genuinely thinks this way - but it's sometimes useful when they're trying to win arguments on the internet.

That brings me to FE and all this recent nonsense. It's clear that what really bothers these people about Dimitri's queer subtext, and that there are fans (sometimes even queer fans!) who enjoy it, is that it threatens their established belief that Dimitri, Rhea, and the Lions represent all manner of conservative/reactionary evils that their fave stands against. It's very similar to their dismissals of Dimitri's mental illness or Rhea's own bi-for-Byleth sexuality for that matter, because that's more axes of oppression they can't be allowed to exist on. As I know personally, it's not enough to even partially buy into the Eagles as the "gay house," because I also ship Ferdibert but have been told more than once that I ship it the "wrong" way - meaning how I see both characters in relation to Edelgard, of course. This has never gotten me to stop shipping Ferdibert, by the way, but rather just left me a bit annoyed, as well as reminded of this meme:

You may imagine who's who.

At least I can probably take some satisfaction in knowing that I likely won't have to hear from that person again, because I imagine that listening to me talk for a solid hour about all sorts of Three Houses/Hopes pairings, including quite a few F/F ones, is too tall of an order. How I'd love for this crowd to try tangling instead with the anti-Studentleths over on Twitter, who'd promptly call them all pedophiles for shipping Edeleth. The trouble with always trying to claim the moral high ground is that eventually someone will claim an even higher ground than your own.

I’m sure sending you an ask off anon will probably get me put on a list of some kind but fuck it, I’ve already got one unhinged stalker, what’s another one in the mix lmao, and i want to make it extremely clear that I support you in this.

Like it really says something that these stannies absolutely do not quit after four damn years of the same thing. Doesn’t matter how factual you are (correctly citing art history in its original intent and context, canon game dialogue and timelines, interviews, etc), how polite you are, how straightforward you and others are because none of that matters at all to these chumps. This is a straight up gamergate-style sealioning campaign that in the end isn’t really about edelgard at all—she’s just the convenient platform for these people to expound their insane maximalist fandom-as-politics viewpoint that has irreparably damaged houses’ reputation for fans and has conflated videogame communities as a testing ground for in-group loyalty metrics.

Aside from what you and others have already said, it’s telling that they always follow a set script: Church Evil and Fascist, Edelgard Revolutionary and Morally Good, alongside truly reprehensible weaponisation of identity politics and socjus buzzwords. It’s not enough to assert that Edelgard is a pure lesbian hero (biphobia what), it must mean that by diametrically opposing her, Dimitri has to be evil, straight (but when they grudgingly acknowledge his queerness, it’s then asserting that said queerness can only exist within him being repressed and tamping it down because of evil Faerghian misogynist politics, never mind that Adrestia is the biggest misogynist of the continent lol), and singularly obsessed with targeting what she represents; Rhea, the chief architect of all that is evil in Fódlan and directly responsible for its misogyny, homophobia, and whatever else alongside with lobbing assertions of her being a “groomer” (which anyone with half a brain cell not dedicated to being chronically online know is now a popular right-wing argot used to directly target the lgbt community with truly heinous accusations equating them to paedophilia), among other things.

Only extreme statements and buzzwords for the characters, all the time: Edelgard as a hero, Dimitri and Rhea as representatives of ontological evil that Edelgard must defeat with extreme prejudice.

Let’s also point out the fact that in a true debate—because they’re not really debating at all and I say this as a professional debater myself who has won medals for this shit and trained youth teams in my country—the onus on the opposing side has to accept neutral statements from their counterparts. They cannot seriously say that their statements on Edelgard must be taken as fact while simultaneously discounting yours as fiction, because at best that would obviously be called out as ad hoc attempt to muddy the waters; at worst, blatantly trying to control the debate solely with their own parameters as the only acceptable ones, and thus openly attempting to silence dissenting opinions. If they really want to try to convince others that they’re really presenting legitimate debate, they cannot seriously pretend that their actions support that claim when they:

Approach you first and then continue to hound you

Constantly repeat themselves in an attempt to wear you down and confuse you, which is absolutely something that can be penalised in formal debate

Get offended and then accuse you of abuse when you firmly disagree with them and draw boundaries

Let’s also not forget the fact that their actions as a community absolutely do constitute harassment when they’ve been caught gloating about running moonlitboar off tumblr, the revelation that they keep a list of Edelgard critics to monitor them, forcing vas to apologise for expressing negative opinions about Edelgard (note how Rhea gets called so much bad shit but you don’t see Rhea fans calling for her haters’ blood), and even prompting YouTubers to change entire videos to avoid backlash, if not to simply stay in their good graces (and milk them for views and ad cash)

Aside from absolutely garbage essentialist Pure Lesbian Women are from Venus, Evil Repressed Hettie Obsessed Men are from Mars viewpoints, it’s truly mind boggling that they’ve bought into the belief that f/f is somehow purer and “less problematic” than m/m solely because they’ve decided that the heavy mlm moments for the Lions must point to their inherent moral degeneracy, which I would again like to remind them that that is actually homophobic; hell, I’ve seen quite a few using fujoshi as an insult. Let me take the time to explain that fujoshi and mlm fandom in Asia (explained by Asian fans themselves!) has always been seen as a symptom of mostly women fans being disgusting and “rotten,” and that their interest in mlm relationships is not only a betrayal of their gender (and ofc fujoshi as an insult in the west is a popular argument with terfs), but a sign that they’re degenerate and that something is deeply wrong with them.

Never mind that across the world, ff in media has sadly mostly been used as porn fodder for straight, misogynist men, because lesbian sex titillates them while gay sex repulses them. Utena is the outlier in a sea of garbage and said ff garbage is mostly shown as porn anyways. Gengoroh Tagame, a popular gay mangaka, has spoken about how female fans of mlm in japan are often big supporters of lgbt rights. Let’s not even get into the fact that the demographics of most edelgard spaces (like r/edelgard) are of straight men.

I also really despise how they’ve discovered “antisemitic” as a new buzzword. I’m Jewish. I loathe how most people only seem to care about opposing antisemitism when it’s in a videogame or movie, instead of in real life when we get hatecrimed. But it’d be remiss of me not to mention the way my blood boils when edelstans seriously repeat church slander of the nabateans being fake humans, evil reptilians wearing human skins as a disguise for them to manipulate the world from the shadows and using a fake, evil religion as their cover (not to mention how they describe the tenets of said religion as evil and conveniently forge and misrepresent its texts to make it look worse…where have i seen that before), who impede societal development to keep themselves on top, and, as the cherry on the shit cake, as miserly hoarders who keep monumental wealth to themselves and refuse to use it to help others.

Really makes you think then that it doesn’t take much for them to admit they see the Nabatean genocide as a positive, that its completion is necessary for edelgard to succeed (even if they hem and haw about what they think would happen to byleth, Seteth, and flayn), and borrowing from blatant irl genocide denial rhetoric saying that the agarthans (who are literal moustache twirling evil villains) were the original inhabitants who actually got genocided by the nasty coloniser lizards and that their retribution is absolutely justified and understandable. I laugh to think what their though process will be like if they even play the jugdral games.

And finally, since it bears mentioning, they should keep byleths name out of their fucking mouths. As a huge self admitted Byleth stan, seeing them whinge and whine and bitch and moan about poor Edelgard getting criticised really grinds my gears when the last four years has been seeing me constantly trying to navigate a fandom space that relentlessly shits on byleth and says they ruin the games and are nothing but player pandering or when people fucking celebrated the scene of shez killing them in hopes. Edelstans don’t get to try and use them as a prop to prove how edelgard is so good to them (and is so pure as a whole) when we have quantifiable data showing that Byleth smiles the most in verdant wind, has an incredibly strong character arc in azure moon, and that for THREE ROUTES OUT OF FOUR in houses (two if you count hopes scenarios when they’re kept alive) they always end up opposing her, because that is their actual character. Let’s talk about how r/byleth is mostly populated by r/edelgard fans who mostly post porn of fem byleth but have admitted to actually hating her, but liking the fact that she’s got big tits and can be used for yuri fanservice. Or let’s talk about feh: all their alts so far show their loyalty and closeness TO THE NABATEANS. And fuck it, I’m of the opinion that actually the devs’ edelgard bias is what ruined byleth and what made them silent. Because when they’re separated from houses (and thus not in her immediate focus), they fucking shine!!!

Tldr: hi raxis, what’s good!!

Addendum: edelgard has the most 3h alts in feh, cipher card art showing her naked and/or with suggestive costumes, is the most attached to the avatar characters in 3h/hopes/feh of her roster, is named first in the dlc for 3h in engage, has the tea set paired with hreslveg blend, ETC. if that’s not obv favouritism by an obv mostly male dev team, then, well…

Hey, how are you? Hope things are well!

When thinking about that exchange from the other day, @butwhatifidothis had an excellent post that put into words more eloquently than I could about issue:

They are right - I never mentioned it myself because my brain didn't quite go there, but many of the arguments were basically "this character would do this hypothetically", which is nothing more than mere headcanon.

Full disclosure, but I am not a professional debater. I am not even trained. Back in school I famously hated debates because I always felt they relied on twisting facts rather than empirical data. I liked data, that's why I went into the Sciences.

The only debating in Science is whether your results are accurate and if your method is indisputable. Is this ethical? What are we basing our ethnics off of? Proper science doesn't care about your opinions, or how bad so and so was back in the 1700s. Science - and Math - liked numbers, and numbers are cold and inflexible.

So I must admit that debating (not discussions, but debating) do tend to make me nervous at times. I like to learn, and to be challenged on how I view the world. But debating is not a skill I am honestly good at. I can lost track of the original point. I can get discombobulated by the lexicon and factoids when they are rapid fired at me.

That's why I engage in them. It's practice. If I don't do it, I will never get better.

And my untrained eyes could see that this debate... was not really a debate, but a shake-down. I was curious to see where it would go.

If anyone else finds this in this situation, here is my unprofessional advice:

Do not insult or use language that could be misconstrued as aggressive. Remain polite and sincere. Remaining polite does not mean agreeing to everything they say. But, instead of saying something like "You are wrong!" re-word it as "I don't agree with your view" or "I do not believe that is correct".

Do not let yourself be bullied. If this means you wish to disengage, just disengage. Make it comfortable for yourself. In my case, I was comfortable to keep going, but that may not be true for you. They make take this as a win, but you aren't being graded on this and this isn't politics. It's video game stuff.

Use only facts, do not use headcanons or opinions. This makes it harder for the other person to fight you, because you are remaining neutral. If you wish to discuss or bring up something that is not based on text, be sure to make it clear.

Call out when they twist your words. One user claimed that I had once used their name in my post. I never did, so I asked them where I had said that. It forces the other user, if they wish to respond, to either acknowledge they made a mistake, or they risk making themselves look like liars.

Never take it personally. They don't really know you. They are just bored and angry.

Always try to get them to think. This one I am still trying to master. When they make a claim, ask them why they think that. Why are they drawing that conclusion? What if they thought about it this way? If they are regurgitating whatever they have heard from others, they may get tripped up by this. This does run the risk of irritating the other person, but I find it is a helpful tool to both learn and to challenge your opponent to explaining themselves better.

This is the hardest one of all. Do not lose sight of the topic. It is not uncommon for these discussions to go a million different directions. If you lose sight, you may end up on a path you don't want to be on. Stay on topic. I'm still working on this too.

It's really cool that you are a trained debater. If you have any other further advice, or if my advice is terrible, I would love to hear it!

Ultimately, I think many of these types of fans just want to use whatever buzzwords and language they can to not only guilt the other party into bending a knee to their opinions, but to also shame anyone who likes another fictional character.

It's really a shame that other fans feel the need to go to such lengths over someone who is not real.

But per your addenhem, it is true that Edelgard gets a lot of love and attention from IS. She is popular. She doesn't need someone to come sweeping in defending her fictional honor.

Poor Claude really gets the shortest end of the stick in all this. This guy doesn't even have the same number of alts as Dimitri in FEH.

The sexuality stuff confuses me the most. Perhaps it is because my particular sexuality makes up 1% of the population, but I usually don't see why it is such a big deal when it comes to FE. FE doesn't make statements about sexuality. It is not try to teach about sexuality. It is not trying to push an agenda of any kind except the Make Money Agenda.

This weird vilifying fans of who likes mlm content, often framed as disgusting straight fujos who fetishize men. I find this an odd statement. From my point of view, anything that has any sort of sex is fetishizing, period. Straight, gay, whatever.

Well, regardless, thank you for the nice ask. I hope I could give is an answer that gives it justice. :)

[tenitchyfingers]

Ok but representation is not the be all end all of political action and it doesn't solve any problem on a systematic level. Like yeah it has individual impact but all things considered I'd rather have laws protecting me than a character in media that I'm supposed to see as the solution, which it isn't.

You know that in my country we don't even have a law criminalizing homophobia, misogyny and ableism? What the hell is representation supposed to do about people getting fired for being black, or for gay kids getting thrown out of their own homes, or for homeless queers having to turn to sex work and then getting murdered?

Like, this whole online mentality that representation is the most important issue minorities are facing drives me crazy. Also, does it mean I cannot find validation elsewhere, since representation for me is nearly non-existent? Should I assume my identity is made up just because there are basically no characters in media going "I'm asexual"? Like yeah, we got Todd from Bojack Horseman. And that is it. Big whoop. You know where I get representation? In real life, from activists online who are taking real action to change our condition and really challenging culture to make space for ourselves in it.

Again, yeah, representation is cool and all but if you live as an adult in the real world it's not all that vital. Real political action in the streets is.

Edit: like don't get me wrong, I also used to think representation was soooo important, but it's a double edged sword in that focusing so much and primarily on it actually hurts the causes people protest about in the real world. Like if you think representation getting better is doing something for real people in the world, jus look at the new rise of nazism all over the world and the misogyny still perpetrated in the form of trying to take abortion away from women not just in the US but in Europe as well, not to mention every other country. If representation was so important we'd be seeing a steady improvement in culture and politics when it comes to issues minorities face, but that's not the case. In fact, things have only been getting worse in the last decade and focusing on representation in tv shows is nothing but a silly distraction as far as I'm concerned. AGAIN, it's good when it's there, but it shouldn't be a priority or even an example people use as a gotcha card in debates.

And in the way anon used it, it actually doesn't support their point anyway because representation is usually a good way for fiction to (minimally) influence reality, it doesn't create violence and doesn't make people do things they wouldn't already do. For fiction to have an impact on reality there needs to be a cultural conversation supporting it as well, at the same time, otherwise it's just empty and has no impact. Like you think for example in the case of Uhura the sole presence of a black woman in a protagonist role in a tv show had that impact? No, black people have been fighting for recognition and good jobs including in the entertainment industry for a long time before Star Trek airing. Uhura was only a part of the process. Let's stop saying made up characters are responsible for what we do in our real lives, holy shit, it only makes all of us sound idiotic.

And also, by the way

When have I EVER said that. Please point to me where I said being gay means living in easy mode.

What I said is that only white cis gay men (even more so if they're rich or otherwise well off) get representation in media, so why should I feel it's a win for me, especially when so often they try to exclude me from the communities I need? Their representation has nothing to do with me, it excludes and alienates me and all the black, disabled, trans, poor working class queers. Like, man, you don't need to make shit up in order to have a discussion, I know you're smarter than that.

the issue is that all these arguments are taken to extremes. the extreme form of 'fiction affects reality' is that you cant portray anything even slightly negative and yeah some people take it that far (which is wrong), but if your opinion is that fiction doesn't affect reality at all then representation doesn't matter. the truth is somewhere between those extremes. both sides have 'extremists' but are only capable of seeing the extremists on the other side.

Representation matters very little, like yeah it matters in that it makes people feel seen (usually rich, cis white gay boys or some shade of stereotype of another minority that said minority is encouraged to lap up like it was 1. good 2. solving any real problem in their life). It affects people's feelings, and yeah sure it can have some kind of importance especially when it comes to performers being able to get more work or kids getting validated, but in practical terms? Political action is way more impactful than representation, and validation doesn't pay anyone's bills. Like yeah sure representation is good, okay, but it hasn't stopped racism, it hasn't stopped homophobia, it hasn't stopped shit. In fact, things have only gotten worse in political terms for minorities since the whole representation thing went into the mainstream. Like, you know, the whole thing with fascism being on the rise. Pose didn't stop it. Love, Simon didn't stop it. Get Out didn't stop it. If representation was indeed that important, they wouldn't let us have any of it. Focusinig on representation as something even remotely relevant is such a white liberal thing, honestly.

Also, you know, it's not much of a relevant topic to me because I have only seen somewhat accurate representation of myself in shows where I had to build my own rep because it was never explicit, only something i could construe as rep from vague clues in the narration. That's fun and validating and all, but it has been of no real use to me. But I mean, if other people can pay their bills with validation then good for them. I can't, so you'll have to find a better argument for fiction literally shaping reality. For example, answer me this: how come I'm aroace, i never had sex and have 0 interest in ever having it, much less in ever entering a romantic relationship with anyone, but I love porn and erotica and 90s British romcoms with Hugh Grant and have been loving that shit since I was a kid and already feeling the way I do now about sex and romance? I mean, if fiction was that impactful I should be straight and married by now. Nope, the exact opposite. But I mean, I'll wait for this too.