#and a specific kids book for my bfs sister

[pizzopaps]

i wanna buy people gifts so bayd

[gracethefoundfamilyfan]

ok ok ok i gotta rant a little bit

idk if im ace or aro or not and im cool w not knowing cuz i barely know anything about myself atm i just starting forming my own personality actively like a year and a half ago

BUT

i always assumed i would end up without a bf, out of all of my friends, bc my goals in a hypothetical relationship are to be best friends and borderline soulmates before even BREACHING the topic of romance. this is made easier by the fact that i have literally NEVER felt physical attraction towards anyone, and i'm a young adult, ok? everyone i know except for my aro friends have been in at least one relationship. not to say guys haven't tried!!! i've had two or three people ask me out, and i loved all of them-- just not in that way. my faith calls me to love all people unconditionally and deeply, to value and treasure them as a reflection of perfection and a deep, vast universe of experiences greater than i can begin to comprehend, and so, yes, i love people. my friends and i are very physically affectionate, and our conversations are deep and meaningful, and we show up for each other and care for each other and i think we love each other well. i try to extend that love to everyone i meet, no matter who they are. I love everyone, and i invite everyone to show love back! but not romance. i've never experienced that.

but lately something has felt different with this one specific guy. we've known each other for about seven years thru church. he's a year older than me, but he's so mature it feels like we live on different planets-- until this year, when we both applied to be summer interns at our church and got accepted. suddenly me and Mysterious Quiet Man are spending 30+ hours a week working side by side managing events, remodeling the children's room, leading projects, cooking meals, cleaning out closets-- and you know what? i'm so intimidated by this quiet stoic guy that I literally don't talk to him unless i have to. we work in companiable silence unless it's absolutely necessary for us to talk, because he's an introvert and idk how to do life. still, being in the same space teaches me a bit about him. He doesn't know as much as I think he does, it's just that he's so quiet I always assume he knows what's going on. He actually is capable of making mistakes-- he misspelled the name of the church on a pdf he sent for 50+ signs and had to fix it-- and he's really self-conscious about his art. we have a few artists in common when it comes to music taste. etc.

and then. AND FREAKING THEN. we go to church camp. Our one week off the whole summer, and we're both so in need of release that we turn into complete freaking idiots. AND! AND! WE ACTUALLY START TALKING!

he likes really deep, complex mystery books. he's terrified of graduating. he feels like he's leaving his life behind. he's going into trade school to be an electrician. he plays d&d. he thinks i'm an okay drummer. he loves swimming. his cousin drives him crazy but he would take a bullet for her, and if i tell her that i'm screwed. he does INCREDIBLE Renaissance fair costumes. his whole family is into music and he's grateful that he has people to teach him stuff. he's the most Band Kid in existence. he's super into coffee but hates how caffeine feels. Little people scare him. He loves hiking. He wishes he was more athletic, like his dad. he wants to write a book, but he doesn't know what yet. he's a good leader when he has to be. He hates raising his voice.

And he thinks I'm funny.

HE THINKS I'M FUNNY. In a dorky, kinda awkward way, sure, but good LORD I made him smile more than I've ever seen him smile at that camp (especially when he scared me and i did a full on backwards roll into my sister, that was fun), and I'm so freaking proud of myself for that.

still, all of this is normal for me! I love discovering new things about people! My respect and genuine appreciation for human beings grow when I begin to understand them, wow, that's how that works! That means nothing!

and then we lead the last four weeks of August Sunday school, and he helps me with my message when it feels like it's falling apart, and he gives me a little (awful) pep talk when I feel like I screwed up. He says I work better with kids than he ever could. I tell him you just have to treat them like really new adults. He crushes his next lesson.

and then we teach a bunch of kids science for a week. He helps me keep them in check, I help him not get too stressed over the details. the lady running the camp asks us to put together a crime scene for the kids to solve at the end of the week, with us as the culprits. we sign our names on secret plans, tear them up, scatter them around. we make it obvious that we leave right before the time of the crime so they'll suspect us. when he leaves, i make sure they notice, 'cause he's not quite loud enough. we scatter cookie crumbs around our chairs. we have not-so-quiet little conversations about the morality of stealing cookies with the other kids. We let the director chew us out for disappearing, and he asks if i'm ok when her Oscar-worthy performance actually scares me a little bit. the kids drag all the suspects into the hot seats. they examine our hands. a jury forms, and a police team-- i freaking love these kids, if i haven't made that clear, they're little geniuses when you actually let them use their imaginations. We get questioned. Our handwriting gets examined. So do our fingerprints. Then (my favorite part) we improv a whole story about how we're innocent, throwing shade at my sister and her stuffed sheep. Then we twist it on the director, bc she's the only one with access to the kitchen (not true btw). The kids see thru our lies, bc half of them have parents who've worked here to feed the homeless or make breakfast on Mother's Day or whatever. He yells at people. I yell at my sister. We put on a freaking awesome performance, and my energy bounces off of his-- we make a great team, and I haven't seen him this energetic ever. My sister makes a stupid joke, and he's so caught up in it that he laughs so hard he ends up on the floor. I buzz about that for the next hour.

Then, he gets incriminated. Playing my part, I pull the Among Us move and try to get him in the spotlight so I get voted innocent. They're about to take him away.

And then he grabs me by the shoulders, heaves me up, forces me in front of him, and says "IF I'M GETTING CAUGHT, SHE'S GOING DOWN WITH ME!" We get darn near tackles by a swarm of kids who are totally in-character-- one of them has even got the waterworks going, and he looks at me and says 'I trusted you, mom!'. I give my tearful apology, and then I wrench myself free (he never let go, that's kinda weird) and declare: "OKAY, FINE, YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT WE DID? DANIEL, YOU GAVE US AWAY, WHY DON'T YOU TELL THEM"

cue four minutes of what my friend called 'old married couple arguing' over whose fault it was.

and then we reveal the ice cream sandwiches we supposedly made with the cookies we supposedly stole, and all of a sudden we're forgiven.

best afternoon ever spent.

slight caveat.

forty kids now ship me and him. one of them makes a little heart with our initials on it. he sees it. i don't get to see his reaction bc my sister almost drops a whole gatorade cooler worth of lemonade and i have to run over to help her.

and then, the internship is over. we don't see each other for another month. when we do, he's an adult staffer, and i'm still just an assistant. but he sticks around the youth stuff, since we don't have anyone who can play the lower bells on the youth handbell choir. i get a new little Padawan to teach in the ancient technique of making metal things go clang. I'm also lined up in the perfect way that I can see his eyes light up every single time we get a complicated polyrhythm right or finally manage to hit a key change without sounding like a horror film just started. i also get to see him bounce when our director tells him he can chaperone on our trip to the bell fest if he wants.

bell fest gets cancelled. the director gets us permission to use the church and host our own. guy in question is the first one to get there and the last one to leave, and i'm second. old internship habits die hard. or maybe we just care too much.

"It's not quite the same," he says when I ask, "but it's still really nice."

i think he thinks it's about the people, just like I do.

That's also when I notice we both have a little brown freckle in our eyes. His are ice blue, though, and they've got little patterns in them. I was only looking to make sure he was telling the truth.

we host a local mission trip, and i get to see him chase the goof of the group around trying to get his weedwhacker back. two nights later, I'm trying to get said goof off my drum set ten minutes before a performance so we can do our final soundcheck and Guy stares him right off the stage, and then gets all of us waters and me a pad so my stupid kick will stop sliding around. I hadn't even thought to ask.

now it's two months later, and our church is fracturing. we've gone a year and a few months without a pastor, and people are getting tired of it. Everyone's doing a little more than they can handle trying to fill the wake our old (retired) pastor left behind. there's spiritual warfare. the guy the pastor search committee brought in tried to convince us half of our Bible was fake. people are getting hit right in their weak spots, and people are scared, and everyone's getting hurt and tired and there's talk of giving up.

we hold a conference to air out our feelings. anything can be said. on mic. and it won't be held against us. we need to get messy, get empty, hug it out, and start fresh with all this petty crap behind us. we listen to person after person air out their fears, frustrations, angers, hurts, etc, and towards the end I get up and take the mic.

"I wasn't gonna say anything." I say. "I don't even technically belong here, because I'm not a member. I have no business telling anyone anything. But I think I have to say this. I know life sucks, and everything about our situation sucks, but you know what? I'm so proud of all of you. Most of the churches I know would've fallen apart by now. I've seen it happen. What you have here, this commitment, this vulnerability-- it's special. It's real. It's what God commands us to strive for, and it's something the world desperately needs more of. So please, don't stop. I know it sucks. But for the love of God, please keep fighting for each other, because none of us can afford to lose another family."

i sit down. my sister wouldn't come. she said it's not worth it. she thinks people hate her. she still (as of me writing this) won't tell me why.

after it's over, we sing. we sing of God's unending grace and mercy and we sing of trust and new beginnings and we pray for strength and unity and love that not even human hearts can create. and in the shadows of the dimly lit chapel, i think i see it. people of all ages and races, mostly in pajamas, a few unlucky ones still in their work clothes, hugging and talking and praying over one another when hours ago there had been coldness and anger. i walk over to his cousin, who spoke after me and begged the people to fight for us, so that we could have a place like this to go to when we have nowhere else to go. i think they listened to her. she really can't lose more family. I hug her. She's crying. I hug her aunt. She's crying too. Guy comes up. He thanks me for saying what I said. "I was disappointed, before," he says, "but now I can see what you mean. I wish I'd gone up too. You're right. We need to fight for this."

"What would you have said?" I ask. "If you'd gone up."

He says he had ideas, perfect speeches that would open eyes and turn hearts. He says that's not the way the world works, though, and he didn't feel like he had anything to add.

"I think it would've been great." I say. "Even if it's not perfect, it's still worth saying."

then the director comes over. He's gotten the short end of the Responsibility stick, and apparently what me and Cousin said got to him, because he hugs both of us and thanks us for telling him that the community he's given his life to is actually helping people. then he hugs Guy, too, and Guy hugs him back tight and scrunches his eyes closed, like he's holding on just in case he doesn't get another chance. and here he said he wasn't a hugger.

then we all go get dinner, and i see him laughing with his mom. there's a softness to him, and a light in his eyes that i rarely get to see. i'm almost jealous, that that wonderful side of him only really comes out with her.

it's been a couple weeks, and i still can't get that image of him out of my head. it's weird. part of me thinks i'm really into cracking people and getting to see who they are on the inside and why they do what they do and who they are, and I totally am, but usually that goes away after a couple weeks. it's been six months. maybe it's just because there's still so much i don't know about him? maybe because he's a music guy and i'm a music girl and i desperately need more friends who share that part of themselves with me? maybe it's because we've known each other for seven years but i'm about to leave for college and i'm desperate not to waste any more time? Maybe our souls just click.

point is, i have no freaking idea what romance is supposed to feel like and i love everyone a little too easily and i don't have physical attraction sensors so i can't tell if i'm really into him as a person or as a potential partner but it doesn't freaking matter because i'm leaving in like seven months anyways and i'm going to be hours away and I am not getting into a relationship right now. period.

BUT IM STILL UP AT TWO AM TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT SO SEND HELP

[weneedhelp]

random tmi of the day? — i started planning a trip to a new state w my sister and mom this summer and my bf busted his eyebrow which he had glued together bc he was impatient for the bathroom LMAO

fav food/drink? — BREAD. i love bread in any shape or form, i also really love pasta and noodles like asian style noodles and italian pasta,, yum. and my fav drink is a thai milk tea or cherry vanilla coke,, there’s small in between like glacier freeze gatorade and orange juice or apple juice. idk about you but the apple juice at the hotel i stayed in chicago was FIRE.

fav subject/topic? — math and history!! i love math idk i still enjoy it to this day and i’m a history nerd,, it was always my best classes was them two. i also really enjoy science courses and i don’t really care for english 💀💀 like i could’ve went without english in hs,, oh and fun fact i took drama 1&2 in hs and even performed in a play (the boyfriend project as frankie’s bf but that’s another story if you want it lmk🫶)

fav aesthetic? — ngl i really like spacecore and like soft/vintage aesthetics? i like the timeless look but i also like the look of being out of this worldly and galactic,, if you get me you get me 🫶

any celeb/irl crushes? — irl crush,, ngl i have a crush on this guy i may or may not be dating 🫣(my friends call him papa texas, but i call him mine 🤭) and celeb crushes,, TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET. this man has me in a chokehold after watching dune pt 2 I WAS AND STILL AM OBSESSED. if he wasn’t in a relationship (also for me too bc we both taken) i’d ask for one chance 😔😔🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

fav book/quote/literature? — ngl it’s not exactly a quote from a book, but these two verses from taylor’s song marjorie, ‘never be so kind, you forget to be clever; never be so clever, you forget to be kind’ and ‘never be so polite, you forget your power; never wield such power, you forget to be polite’

fav song you listened to today? — misfit - nct u. NO ONE CAN TELL ME IT DOESNT HIT EVERY TIME IT COMES ON MY SHUFFLE. i just vibe differently to that song and i blame mark lee for it and i will never be the same bc of it

fav time of the day? — sunset!! particularly when the sky is more pink and purple fading to blue than golden from the remaining sunlight but that my dear is my fav time of day 🫶🫶

introvert/extrovert/ambivert? — i think i’m more of an ambivert bc i’m very extroverted till i’m overwhelmed and i can be extremely ambivert for days and then burn out and be reserved for weeks,, idk if that made sense but i promise it’s just a process 😭

ever dreamt of idols? — the other day i literally had a dream and sunghoon out of all idols was in it and he got injured bc someone jumped on his back and i was trying to drive him to the hospital bc he was hurting and idk why i was nervous bc he was my fake bf and we were very romantic that whole evening and i was so mad i woke up before it was finished 😭😭 but i do have random haechan dreams and usually they’re silly and unromantic and like,, childhood friends who lowkey love each other with hatred (not even kidding they be specific some nights)

random tmi of the day ?

fav food / drink ?

fav subject / topic ?

fav aesthetic ?

any celeb or irl crushes ?

fav book / quote / literature ?

fav song u listened to today ?

fav time of day ?

intro/extro/ambivert ?

ever dreamt of idols ?

HELLO this sounds so fun !! <3

i skipped out on my mechanical engineering sciences class today with my friend bc both of us were sleepy and couldnt pay attention so we went to the cafeteria and simped over our physics prof instead 😭

fav drink is cold coffee, fav food is gimbap / veg sushi !!

math <3

grunge / dark academia

i have an irl crush and my current celeb crushes are fumiya takahashi and carlos sainz !!

my fav book of all time is either The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid, They Both Die At The End by Adam Silvera, or Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell. my favourite quote is: "If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking." by Haruki Murakami in his book, Norwegian Wood (which i am halfway through)

i didnt listen to music today but i've had SPECIALZ by King Gnu on repeat for a while !!

between 9 pm and 12 pm or 3 am and 6 am (i never sleep l o l)

ambivert !!

exactly one time, and it involved soobin from txt and oprah winfrey 💀

this was really fun, thank u for sending it in !! 🥰

[twin-yards]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Thanks....

oh my gods thank you so much for asking i could go on and on about these characters tbh ✨

Laurent of Vere (Captive Prince trilogy): okay i admit he's an asshole but like in the best way. he's so outspoken and not afraid to say what he thinks to the point of cruelty and good at swordfighting and dude i wanna be like that. also he is very fucking smart. his mind is like a maze that not many people would be able to figure out. or something. his words are like weapons. and he's stoic but at some specific times you see him being expressive (sometimes against his will) like when he blushes at something Damen says or actually smiles or laughs and it just warms my fucking heart i love him so much tbh

Nico di Angelo (PJO): he helped me get over my homophobia when i was a kid. this dude has literally gone through so much with his sister dying and dealing with the feelings he had for Percy and the hate he felt he was supposed to have for him and the internalized homophobia and wondering what other people would think about him being gay and also he's powerful as fuck he has a sword made from Stygian Iron he absolutely SLAYED in the last battle against Kronos he's gay he can teleport and he has trauma and survivor's guilt and he wears his fucking avian jacket everywhere and never brushes his hair and survived fucking TARTARUS on his own dude no he's fucking amazing and deserves all the love in the world

Adam Parrish (the Raven Cycle): he is the smartest person alive probably. he survived his stupid abusive fucking father and works really hard in school and in life because he believes you have to do that to get somewhere in life and he wants to fucking get somewhere. he cares so much about his friends and is not disaster bisexual representation no that boy is organized as fuck. we should all feel lucky that he exists we as a community as a fucking planet do not deserve him <3 also he sacrificed himself to a sentient forest to save everyone i think so that was pretty badass ngl

Ronan Lynch: this dude can literally bring shit out of his dreams. he swears a lot and cares so deeply about his friends it's so fucking beautiful. he dreamed the sentient forest his bf Adam sacrificed himself to. he looks dangerous as fuck and can be when he wants to but also he's just a huge softie. he's gay and he used to fist fight his older brother and he can dream things that don't make logical sense into existence. he is just,,,,, this amazing fucking character and right now it's hard to put it all into words but bottomline: i'm happy he exists

Andrew Minyard (All for the Game): he has been through so. much. this man keeps knives in the fucking leather band thingies on his arms which he wears to cover the scars he has from all the self harm that he inflicted because he was fucking r*ped when he was seven (for the first time, anyway) by his older foster brother (fuck Drake Spear, the bastard). he cares so much about some people but doesn't show it in very obvious ways, mostly. i mean he killed his mom because she was abusing his twin brother and if that isn't love then love doesn't exist. i'm so happy he survived all that shit. he survived and has found a family in the Foxes and a boyfriend in Neil Josten who he loves very much and hdjdjfjskxkdkd

Neil Josten: was on the run for like eight years with his mom from his crazy ass father who wanted to murder them. even after his mother died after bleeding out from a wound his father inflicted and he burned her body along with their car and buried her bones he lasted a full day without puking his guts out, and then he kept going. so many would've just given up at that point, understandably i think. but he didn't. and then he became a Fox and was playing Exy and failed his attempts to not get attached to his teammates he grew to care about them all so much especially Andrew who he is in love with and whose boundaries he respects like he has literally actively put himself in harm's way so many times just so nothing will happen to his family and Andrew. he cares so much i love him.

Blitzø (Helluva Boss): literally just a guy. well i mean an imp one of the denizens of Hell who decided to open up his own assassin company thingy where you'd pay him and he'd go to the human world with the help of the grimoire his sorta fuckbuddy ish crush Stolas lends him and with his employees to kill the person you want them to kill. so yeah that's pretty badass. yknow, in a weird, twisted way. he's also foul-mouthed as fuck which is always fun to see :) but what made me kinda connect to his character is the dude's estimate for his own self worth is basically non-existent he pushes away anyone who cares about him and puts up the facade of an annoying asshole (which he kinda is naturally) to not deal with his feelings sometimes. i relate

Wylan Van Eck (Six of Crows): his dad is a fucking asshole who wanted him killed because he can't read. who the fuck does that literally wtf. but he escaped and joined the Crows [Kaz, Inej, Jesper (who is his boyfriend), Nina, and Matthias (dead)] who are all just kids who are fighting to survive in this horrible ass world. also they want money to buy stuff which, same. but Wylan has so many strengths like he can create bombs he's a flautist he's good at the sciency stuff and music and is smart as fuck and he's such a pure person like. i love him so much <3

Will Byers (Stranger Things): this guy cares so much about his friends and family and will do anything to help make sure they're okay. he's in love with his best friend and he thinks he's a mistake which he is NOT. he is a fucking GIFT to mankind we should all feel lucky he exists because we do not fucking deserve him. it broke my heart to see him being pushed aside and forgotten but in season five he better get all he deserves and more. literally i love him so much and i love when he's a little rude and rolls his eyes and that one time he asked Jonathan “is that why you don't have any friends ?” with the most innocent fucking face ever like he is the best. i love him. #will byers supremacy

Angel Dust (Hazbin hotel): okay i watched this at like 3am today and can i just say: AMAZING. like his character is just so publicly flamboyant and i love that for him. i mean i guess it's literal Hell and no one gives a shit but he's there and he's a sex worker and dude does not give a fuck about what other people think. he cares about specific people and his best friend is Cherri Bomb and they did the music video thing together where we find out he was (still is, i guess) sexually abused by this bitch Valentino who we should all hate. fuck him seriously why are people so horrible. he cries and resorts to the sex and drugs as a way to numb the pain. fuck. he even died from a drug overdose. i hope when we get the hazbin hotel series he's like okay and stuff because i love him so much for and it hurts that that shit happened to him.

so yeah this is my list not necessarily in this order😅 thanks again for asking i appreciate it <3

[minilpark]

Top gun!Batfam au. That is all. Would like to know your spare thoughts.

i have thought about this just a tad because i hc that bob and fanboy love comics, but i never thought specifically about a topgun!batfam, so here's the little bit i've got for you!

iceman

okay you can't convince me that ice doesn't remind you of either clark (yes he isn't in the batfam but im putting him there as an honorary member) or alfred and lemme explain why-

ice as clark: boyfriends with mav aka batsy, tries to keep his bf in check, fails most of the time, very by the book and follows the rules

ice as alfred: keeps mav/bats in check, looks out for his well-being, the actual one in charge of the family but lets mav/bats believe he is

see? either is valid to me

2. mav

mav is bruce through and through to me. i think this because he basically adopts all the pilots as his own children and wants to keep them safe by teaching them how to protect themselves (like in the air w/ dogfighting) like how bruce does with his vigilante kiddos. also i imagine the tough love and strained relationships bruce has with some of his kids is just like mav and rooster- also not to mention the lasting trauma both bruce and mav have from their early years still haunts them both every day.

3. rooster

i was on the fence about who bradley would be, but i think he would be a great dick grayson and lemme explain why- dick is bruce's first kid that he's ever taken care of. of course with being the first, it's a different experience compared to those who come after you. there's pressure on both the parent (bruce/mav) and him to be the best and live up to expectations. besides this, he was the experimental kid and also holds a personal responsibility over the others (also fitting since bradley's callsign is rooster). dick is also consistently good natured and reliable in most iterations of him and i think this is fitting with bradley. he is kind natured and naive and sometimes doesn't think things through before he does something. there are times he can be scary when he's angry (def rooster vibes) and he's def the type to hold grudges, kinda like how rooster held one against mav for the papers incident.

4. hangman

i was also unsure about who jake would be, but i think i'm going to say he reminds me of jason. theres a lot of iterations of jay and how he behaves and how his relationship with the family is, so imma just keep this pretty general concerning his personality and also say hes on shaky ground with the others. as we all know, he is considered one of the black sheep in the family. after dying and coming back as red hood, things have been difficult to say the least. however, he still is just as strong, brave, selfless, impulsive, and smart-mouthed as he was before he died. i think these traits are fitting for jake. considering his callsign is hangman and the story we all know behind it, he also relates to how jay is a lone wolf more than half the time, but they both are becoming better at playing on a team.

5. phoenix

i think phoenix would be cass. needless to say, cass had a rough upbringing (we will not go into detail). i definitely think phoenix would have a hard upbringing as well as being the oldest sister of two younger brothers trying to help her mother after her father's tragic passing (this is my own hc btw). besides this, cass upholds bruce's moral code and is determined to prove herself to her newfound family and especially to bruce as she wants to take up the mantle later on. concerning phoenix, i think she also holds herself to a high standard especially with being a female pilot in the navy. she is also fiercely loyal and protective of her crewmates. i also think these two are just badass women.

6. bob

it took some deliberating for bob here, but i think he would be tim. tim is not only incredibly smart, he is a great detective and is also pretty gutsy as well. he is a passionate person and works extremely hard to prove his worth (he is a huge workaholic). with all these traits of his, i think bob would fit him really well. bob is definitely perceptive of others and in tune to how everyone is feeling (my hc and also just comes with the fact he is a "stealth pilot" lmao).

7. fanboy

i think mickey would be duke. duke is like the light of the family in my opinion. though i havent read much of his content, i do know that hes like an empath. when he works as a vigilante, he goes out there and uses his emotions to guide him unlike some of the other members. he is also lowkey self-sacrificial and willing to do anything to protect others and his family. i think fanboy behaves the same. he cares about his family and would do anything to protect them. he definitely brings smiles to the crew and keeps morale up in my opinion. in conclusion, fanboy is a blessing and so is duke.

8. payback

payback would be lucas. lucas is no doubt extremely intelligent like his father, strong, and he is also a great fighter considering he is a boxer, as well as being trained in mma and cage fighting. besides this, he is great at tactical analysis and engineering. i totally think payback fits the vibes luke exudes and he is also just as capable as him. both of them are like the rock in the team. they're there for anyone who needs them. (i also think they're both pretty mentally stable or as much as you can be as a crime fighter in gotham)

9. coyote

coyote reminds me of steph. steph is incredibly athletic and talented, but she also has trouble regulating her emotions. she sometimes lets her emotions get the better of her and she is also one for feeling an adrenaline rush. i feel like javy could definitely relate with her. however, despite her weaknesses, she is a great vigilante and very street-smart and pragmatic. when she does something, it has meaning behind it and i think javy does the same. when he flies, he's a team player and is strategic as to how he can lead his team to victory and get them home. both him and steph are also sarcastic and witty, often throwing out some quips at others who provoke them as well lmao.

[nikethestatue]

Found out a guy friend of mine had read the acotar series and decided to ask him his thoughts on the next book since he’s definitely just a casual reader. Here were his thoughts specifically on ships and such:

Who do you think is the next MC? — he thinks Elain, probably. Since she’s the next sister it makes the most sense to him.

Who do you think she’ll end up with? — He said he personally likes Elain and Lucien together (ugh, I know, I was super disappointed too haha). He said he likes the concept of mates ending up together and thought Az and Elain was “too obvious” 🥴🤣

What about Az? — Az is his favorite character and was disappointed that Mor was no longer an option. He actually even said he’d think it’d be cool if Az actually ended up with Vassa lol

Do you think Az and Gwyn could end up together? — I am not kidding when I say his exact reaction was, “why would he end up with Gwyn?” 🤣🤣

Did you read the bonus? — Nope, he didn’t even know there was a bonus out there.

Of course we talked about other theories and ideas, but that was the gist of it when it came to ships. He said he’s most interested in knowing more about Vassa and the Koschei situation.

Anywho! Thought that was funny and a unique perspective of someone who just casually picked up the series to read.

I love hearing guys’ perspectives on these books. I remember when I had my BF read the POV and tell me what he thought. His words were ‘Yeah, this Azriel is into Elain big time!’ And ‘dick move on the necklace’ and ‘Rhys is kind of a self-righteous asshole, isn’t he?’ And ‘is this Gwyn girl like 12?’ And ‘I think Azriel is hypnotized’.

He’s got no dog in this fight. So it was really interesting to see what he thought.

Your guy is mate bond dazzled? 🤣

Yeah, legit no one in the world thinks that Gwynriel is even remotely a thing, except for Gwynriels.

My other friend, who read the books and is absolutely casual thinks that Elucien is still a possibility (I agree), but is really baffled by the concept of Gwynriel. (Curiously, or maybe not, also thinks Gwyn is a teenager. And is utterly grossed out by the prospect of a teacher going after a student and the dynamic that these two would have).

So it’s interesting to hear what non-fans think about all of this. Seems like unless you are a 13 year old Brazilian teenage girl, Gwynriel is really not a thing.

[bisexualmaedhros]

pretty sure i didn't read all of them and i also don't know if they still hold up but man. i ate this shit up

DID ANYONE ELSE READ THE "MY SISTER THE VAMPIRE" BOOKS AS A KID

[murderslugs]

Slasher Bf/Gf Scenarios/Imagines! || Meeting Them

Jason Voorhees (Friday The 13th)

You were out with friends, and it was getting awfully late. But still, there you were, with a flashlight and a backpack with a first-aid kit, some snacks, and water in it, just in case, walking through the abandoned camping trail with your friends. You guys had grown up in a town not too far away from the little old camp, and you’d heard all the stories that surrounded the place. For years you had just dismissed it, you all had passed it off as a local legend or rumor, but still there was a little spark of curiosity. Of course, this is what led you to where you reside now, exploring the camp in search of something peculiar, maybe a story to tell.

“Maybe we should go home...It’s late and I’m not feeling well..” your friend, Ruby, said wearily. It was true, you could see the illness in her dark, drooping eyelids. “Oh, bullshit! You’re fine, just drink some water and go throw up on a tree or something!” another friend yelled out. You just rolled your eyes. “Shut up! She doesn’t look too good, Otis! I think I should bring her back to the car to sit down.” You said with concern. To the dismay and groaning of the group, they let you and Ruby on your way back down the trail and to the car while they continued down the path. 

As you made your way to the car, Ruby fell close behind in your steps. Your flashlight flickered continually, and then suddenly gave out; leaving you two in the dark, and the pale moon barely illuminating through the trees above you. “Shit,” you muttered to yourself, hitting the battery pack to the light repeatedly. “Stop, quiet,” Ruby whisper-shouted. That’s when you heard the rustling of the branches getting closer. Closer. Closer. “Maybe we shou…” You turn around, to see Ruby gone. 

“Ruby? Ruby?!” You shouted out, to no response. You turned frantically, searching for any sign of her presence. A large man in a ski mask and an old, ruined jacket stood before you, silent. Before you could turn to run or get around him, you felt a sudden pressure on the side of your head, and then you saw black.

Michael Myers (Halloween)

It was Halloween night, and you were home from college for fall break. Your mom insisted that you took your younger sister trick-or-treating, even though you refuted that she was 12 years old, and could handle herself. So, you just took her block to block instead and sat on the corner of the street for her to walk down to the other end and get to all the houses. It was a small town, so there were never really concerns about kidnapping and such. It was just never a problem, you guess. 

“Go, Riley. You’re a big kid, you can go down the street.” You groaned, tired of her constant whining. “But (y/nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn), It’s dark down there!! There’s not a street light at the end!!” she whined insistently. You sighed heavily and pulled your phone out of your pocket. “Here. You can use the flashlight on my phone, just don’t snoop through my info.” You told her, handing over the old smartphone, and pulling a pumpkin-shaped sucker from her trick-or-treat bag. “You owe me this.” 

You unwrapped the cheap candy and popped it into your mouth, leaning on the house fence as your sister skipped down the sidewalk. The leaves rustled in the trees, and suddenly you heard footsteps behind you, and whipped around to see who it was. It was on the quieter side of town, and it was getting late. This meant that there shouldn’t be many people out, so there shouldn’t be someone behind you. But still, you came face-to-chest with a tall man in a dark blue jump-suit type outfit, and a white mask. You panicked, and thought quickly about how to fight back. Unfortunately, he seemed to be faster than you, and your mouth was covered as you were picked up and carried off into the darkness, legs kicking uselessly. 

Carrie White (Carrie)

You were at the library when you saw a pale girl browsing through the young adult fantasy section. You observed her actions, as she readjusted her dress and collar. She carefully picked a book from the shelf and flipped it to the back to read the description. You saw a flash of the cover, and realized it was one of your favorite series, Chronicles of Narnia. You hesitated but stepped forward in a bit of excitement.

“That’s a good one, I, um, really recommend checking it out.” You told her with a smile, and she looked up, seemingly a bit taken aback. You realized this, and took a step back to give her space. “Sorry, didn’t mean to alarm you...I’m (y/n).” You stuck out your hand, and she just looked down at it, book in hand. “Carrie...Sorry, mama never liked me talking to strangers…” “No, no, it’s okay, I underst-” “No, it’s okay...She’s been gone a while now.” She looked down. 

You stood awkwardly, feeling a bit bad now. “You seem kind enough. I’ve got to go, but we can talk again another time. I come here every Sunday, around noon.” Carrie said quietly, smiling softly and turning, taking Narnia with her. You sat to yourself, a bit confused about the interaction. You shook your head and carried on. “Next Sunday it is,” You thought to yourself.

Jennifer Check (Jennifer's Body)

There was a new girl at school, as you had heard. How could you not have when everyone was talking about it? She had moved here recently after some sort of tragedy occured, or so you’d heard. It was rumored that she had to have surgery cause someone tried to kill her, she was all stabbed up and shit and nearly bled out. You can’t imagine how awful that would be, and you kept thinking about how she probably came here for a new start, and wouldn’t want people asking about it, but you knew it would happen anyways.

It was 3rd period, Anatomy, when a girl you’d never seen before walked into the classroom. This, of course, must have been the new girl. She was absolutely glowing, even from afar. Her hair was voluminous, rich, and dark, her skin was clear and shiny, her eyes were sharp and bright. It took your breath away trying to take in the sight. The girl’s heels clicked as she trailed to the back of the classroom, to where you were. She sat beside you, at the lab table. 

You tried not to look at her, after all, you didn’t want to seem weird. You looked at the floor and over to her shoes. A few drips of a thick, crimson substance were on the floor beneath her, seemingly originating from her shoe. You wondered for a moment if she was hurt. Or, could she have hurt someone else..? It scared you a bit to think about the second option. God knows this school didn’t need another bully, or anything worse than it.

You were tranced, stuck in your own looming dark thoughts, when a velvet voice came to your ears. You snapped your glance up from the floor, to see the girl looking at you, specifically. To your dismay, blood rushed to your face out of embarrassment. “I’m Jennifer. Do you have a pen I can use?”

Billy Loomis (Scream)

You were in your brand new house, you had moved out and into the next town over from your parents. You wanted to be further away, but you knew that your mom would be upset, she was always so protective. She even said that she expected you to come visit her on the weekends. The relationship was a bit exhausting sometimes. But now, you were in your own house, and it was great. You could decorate it however you wanted, you could have whoever you wanted over, you could do basically whatever.

Though, for now, you decided to just make some off-brand pizza rolls and blare some music, maybe even dance around a little bit. Season Of The Witch by Donovan was playing on your stereo when suddenly your phone rang. You paused the music, and quickly answered. Normally, you would check the caller ID, but you were in a good mood and it completely slipped your mind. I mean, who cares if it's a scam caller? You can just hang up. To your surprise, it wasn’t a familiar voice, but didn’t seem to be a scam-caller. Maybe a wrong number? 

“Do you like scary movies?” The other line said. You were suspicious, and for a second you considered that maybe it was a survey. It didn’t seem to be a harmful question, so you replied, “Yeah, duh. If you don't, you're pretty lame.” You turned the music back on, but turned the volume down. He asked a few follow-up questions, and you gave your honest answers. You just strolled around the kitchen, occasionally checking the timer on your food so that it doesn’t burn. 

You had your phone pressed between your ear and your shoulder, and you had on oven mitts as you grabbed your pizza rolls from the oven. “What’s your name?” The caller suddenly asked. You paused for a second as you put the cooking sheet on the counter. “Why do you wanna know..” You asked cautiously. “Well, I wanna know the name of the cutie I’m looking at.” He said, and your heart damn near stopped. “Excuse me..?” You hung up and quickly ran to the doors, double-checking the locks and locking the windows and shutting the curtains. You grabbed a knife from the silverware drawer and locked yourself in your room, where you eventually fell asleep in the dark silence.

Thomas Hewitt (Texas Chainsaw Massacre)

You had just moved out to the country-side to start anew, planning to start a small farm and just live in peace on the quiet little land. Little did you know, you had neighbors across the field that weren’t exactly the type of neighbors that you could ask for a cup of sugar. You were hanging the new drapes for the windows after having taken the old ones down. They were old, dirty, ragged. Honestly, the old farmhouse was sort of let to rot for a while, and you knew it. It was cheap though, and you were up to the challenge. You decided that you would decorate it, clean it up, and make it like brand new, even with the little money that you had. 

As you were hanging the drapes, you kept looking out into the distance of the rolling fields outside the window, littered with patches of wild flowers in the grass. You fantasized about making gardens, maybe even building a little stable for a horse or two. It was a lovely thought; there was a small village a little while away from the farm that you could ride a horse to if you wanted. 

Though, some distance away in the field, you saw the figure of what looked to be a man wandering in the field. You weren’t too worried, as you had all the locks in place, it was the middle of the day, and he looked peaceful. So, you just forgot about it and went on fixing up your house, unpacking, and getting the rest of the things in place. Although you had been there about a week, you still understandably weren’t completely unpacked. 

A few hours later, you were doing a bit of drawing on the couch and taking some time to relax. That’s when you heard a thud on your door. Just a single thud, that’s all. Still, you had reason to be concerned, as you were sort of in the middle of the country and it was starting to set into the evening. You quietly walked to your bedroom and grabbed a shotgun from the closet that you kept for protection, a tradition in your family. You carried it with you as you checked the door. You looked through the thin peephole, but saw nothing. You opened the door to find a paper stuck to the door by a rusty hatchet, buried deep into the oak. Your heart rate spiked as you tore the note from the door and read it. “Welcome to the neighborhood, pretty person” was spelled in crude handwriting.

[timextoxhajima]

ALL FOR A TASTE IS BASED ON AN ACTUAL FWB??

i’m shooketh because i’m so conservative i never once considered fwb were real (i swear for some reason i always thought it only existed in fics/tv shows/etc) esp cuz sg in general is conservative too(?)

i read all for a taste and phew,,,,, that’s hot 🥵🥵 (also you can ignore this part if it’s uncomfy and too personal) but i noticed in the fic….. sunwoo just pulled out (…protection?) …. was that part real too or just for the sake of the fic? i’m asking because i’m a virgin and i really don’t know how these things work irl and i would rather die than ask my irls 😭 again pls ignore if it’s too personal because i know it’s weird to discuss your sex life on the internet 😅😅

-🥯

yes it's based on an actual fwb HAHAHHA but it's not 100% carbon copy

[dw i'm fine i don't really care about talking about my sex life tbh] [also back on desktop so no emojis ;-;]

i’m shooketh because i’m so conservative i never once considered fwb were real (i swear for some reason i always thought it only existed in fics/tv shows/etc) esp cuz sg in general is conservative too(?)

HEY SURPRISE SURPRISE i also come from a conservative family HAHAH I'm just a bit of a wild child- like,,, both my parents are teachers and my sister's a nerd and I'm the one that's kinda rabz in school but a bit closet mugger? yeah you know that one kid-and actually you'd be surprised how many people our age in sg has done it/had an fwb/slept with their partners/hooked up w someone random. when i first stepped into this whole 'oh you're not longer a virgin' side of the story (cause, like you said, sg is still a conservative society and so once you lose it or u sleep w someone you kind of enter this side of society where you realise it's not all that uncommon) i was so surprised to realise that it's not that big of a deal?

LIKE OK NO IM NOT ENCOURAGING HAVING AN FWB BCAUSE IT WAS THE WORST FUCKING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE HE WAS AN ASSHOLE WHO, WHEN I FIRST STARTED TO IGNORE HIM FOR MULTIPLE REASONS, AND I SENT HIM A LONGASS ESSAY EXPLAINING WHY I THINK WE SHOULDN'T CONTINUE ANYMORE, HE REPLIED WITH A FUCKING FINANCIAL INVESTMENT IMAGE BEC HE'S A PART-TIME FINANCIAL ADVISOR FUCKING INSURANCE IDIOTS

but no! fwbs are a thing LMAO esp in hall also la like, it's just pretty common tbh. i also didn't know until i committed this sin too then when i told some of my closer friends they were like... and then?? ?? you think u special??? xx also sleep w xx udk meh

then i cuatio like HUH but ok ya AHAHHAHHA it's like an open book thing, if you don't look closely, you wouldn't know, but it's like always there.

i read all for a taste and phew,,,,, that’s hot 🥵🥵 (also you can ignore this part if it’s uncomfy and too personal) but i noticed in the fic….. sunwoo just pulled out (…protection?) …. was that part real too or just for the sake of the fic? i’m asking because i’m a virgin and i really don’t know how these things work irl and i would rather die than ask my irls 😭

don't mind me if this is tmi but like, ok the first time i slept w him we DID use a condom BUT we were both drunk and he had /issues/ LMAO so the condom was essentially gone to waste

the second and third time it happened (we only slept tgt like thrice and CAN U BELIEVE SOME OF MY FRIENDS DON'T THINK THAT'S ENOUGH TO BE CONSIDERED AN FWB LIKE////) we didn't use it :") because it was NOT FUCKING PLANNED.

granted this whole situ with him wasn't planned at all, like we didn't text each other and go hey do you wna be fwbs like no we slept tgt impromptu the first time bec we were drunk and the subsequent times because yk,

w covid a lot of things went online and his clique basically didn't stay hall, + he was the type to not talk to people and he kept his feelings to himself (he was struggling with a fresh breakup at that time, should've seen that red flag ngl, and he has family issues too) and so i was essentially his therapist and s*x doll into 1 and so it's just so shittily timed that whenever i go look for him to make sure he's okay and stuff,

yknow one thing leads to another and tada~ and yeah the subsequent two times we didn't use contraceptives because he told me he 'knew when to pull out', so like fine- and he did, so that wasn't an issue.

either way he's not my first sexual partner and i just wna say that while it's actually pretty hard to get pregnant if it's done with no protection, udk how many pregnancy scares i got throughout me 3-ish years of sexual activity? (I've had 1 boyfriend that i was sexually active with and 1 fwb)

I'm damn prone to stress and it fucks with my cycle, so it doesn't help when mid-cycle i slept with my bf (or in that specific case, my fwb) without contraceptives and it was a stressful time as well AND THEN MY PERIOD WAS LATE AND I PANICKED LMAOOOOOO

also love, don't be worried about being a virgin like, there's absolutely nothing worth being ashamed about. if anything, I'm kind of ashamed i had an fwb that used me more than treated me like an ACTUAL fwb, so- don't worry, love.

[jacespunkdad]

so i’m rereading hunger games as i’ve mentioned before and here’s a compiled list of little details that i think should be included if they remake it into a series or something

honestly the movies were really great and naturally there’s stuff that needs to be cut for it to fit in a 2 hour window but...if there was more time...here’s what i want 

- first of all it needs to be rated higher (r or ma). the punch of these books have did not hit as hard in the movies because the violence had to be toned down. and to be fair i wouldn’t have been allowed to see them if they were rated r in 2012 HOWEVER. i think it’s necessary

- casting should actually fit the ages of the characters i know there’s laws for working with actors underage but having the leads be in their 20s literally defeated the whole point lmao

- also katniss and gale aren’t white and neither is haymitch i don’t think actually so can we fix that. love the original actors to death they did a great job but i think actors with olive skin and gray eyes will do just as good a job

- we need madge. she is an icon and deserves respect

- we need avoxes!! they technically were in the movies but they were mentioned once and then they were always just vibing in the background. we need to have the redheaded avox and there should be a flashback scene where you see katniss and gale witnessing her get caught in the woods (i forget her name atm)

- katniss’s mom’s battle with depression, let’s talk about it! barely mentioned in the movies

- also katniss’s dad! they literally showed a picture of him once in the first movie and never talked about him ever again which is not fair because he seemed like a very lovely man. i want to see clips of him singing and teaching young katniss how to hunt! justice for mr everdeen rip king

- katniss thinks about her and gale’s adventures in the woods (TM) during the games and i wanna see some of them on screen. mainly the one where they buy lady i love that one

- on the subject of parents more of peeta’s dad! idgaf about his abusive mom i know she’s technically more important to the immediate story but if she gets a scene he deserves one too. peeta definitely gets all his good genes from him

- cinna is clearly a gay icon and he needs to have a boyfriend. give him a bf

- portia has the EXACT SAME ENERGY. give her a gf. also can portia have lines please in the movies she was just. there

- more of katniss’s prep team!!! would honestly die for them. they should’ve had more than 3 scenes they provide perfect comedy relief

- katniss and peeta constantly having matching outfits during the prep for the first games another great comedic moment

- peeta’s prosthetic leg! representation matters

- also district 4 tributes should’ve been hanging out with cato and co. everyone forgets district 4 is a career district (and that finnick was a career) all the time and it makes me upset

- and prim was just? at school. while her sister is fighting to death. i want a scene where they flash to her sitting in a god damn cafeteria watching the games like WHAT 

- gale’s family!! 

- the movie did a good job showing the ptsd but they can do more showing peeta and haymitch’s struggles with it besides just katniss

- district 8 was always starting shit and i think that needs to be addressed HAHA

- bonnie and twill! i genuinely thought i made them up or that they were from a different series until i finally got to their part

- also we just need more district 12 stuff all the district 12 action in catching fire was cut out basically

- for instance the detail that the head peacekeeper would take advantage of starving girls by essentially whoring them out to him for money or food? let’s talk about that because holy shit

- there’s so many scenes of katniss and peeta doing domestic things together without even realizing it and it makes me so happy i love them. the cheese buns! peeta drawing pictures for katniss’s family book! taking walks around town! his art! 

- and i specifically want the scene where katniss comes home to the peacekeepers waiting for her and haymitch and peeta are just casually sitting in the den playing chess and effortlessly roasting her in their efforts to cover for her and also stealing her candy. love that scene so much 

- also right before that katniss legit jumped out of a 25 FOOT TREE???? HELLO???? idk how they’d film that honestly but i wanna see it 

- district 12 gets so ugly and bad after thread shows up and they didn’t really show it at all i wish they had it’s so horrific to read about

- darius!! he should’ve been in the movies. the scene where he shows up as an avox fucked me up SO BAD when i was a kid

- the whole plot line about the capitol using a green screen every time they report on district 13 was so interesting and such a twist and i remember going :O when i read the first time i wish it had been included

- haymitch’s games!!! genuinely one of my favorite backstories i’ve ever read in any series ever. they need to show it especially considering that he was against 47 competitors instead of the normal 23 like that’s nuts

- katniss, peeta, and haymitch “training” for the quarter quell. i want a montage

- just cinna’s line “portia and i spent a lot of hours looking at fires.” there’s so many moments of subtle humor in the books that got taken away and i think they help balance out the story so well

i’m about halfway through catching fire so i will update with more thoughts. thank u for coming to my ted talk

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #442

“the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right?”

Would you ever sell your soul? No. Do you believe that something is going to happen in 2012? Welp, clearly not. I never believed it. Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon? No, but I'd love to! When was the last time you slept in someone else’s bed? Uhhh not since I visited Sara, I think. Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level? Loud, for sure. Louder than I should listen to. Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo? No. What’s the last song you heard? "The Bird and the Worm" by The Used. Has anyone told you they missed you lately? No. What are you most likely to do when you’re exhausted; take a nap, drink some coffee, or go for a run to get yourself pumped up again? Naps definitely win. What are you most likely to pick if you got to choose your topic on a research paper; drug abuse, mental illness, or the death penalty? Mental illness, for sure. What is your favorite month of the year and why? October, bc aesthetic. What’s your least favorite animal? Probably wasps. They're mean fuckers that kill bees. What was your class song when you graduated? Some super shitty country song. Have you ever had to spend the night outside (not camping)? No. What`s the scariest living animal that you`ve petted? A tarantula, I'd say. She was a sweet rose hair that I literally did pet, which you absolutely should not do to tarantulas, but I knew nothing about them at the time. The urticating hairs on their abdomens cause serious itching, and I tell ya, that sure happened. So did you play old school Nintendo or Atari or Sega? If so which one? We had an old Atari for a long time. When/where did you meet your first love? In the hallway, during my sophomore year of high school. Is there anyone you dislike, that you have to see/speak to regularly? Hm, what qualifies as "regularly," really? I don't like my sister's husband, who I see semi-regularly, but I don't really talk to him. Does your family eat any unique foods for Thanksgiving that aren’t the norm? If so, what are they? Nah, not that I can think of. If you eat oatmeal, do you add water or milk to it? What is your favorite flavor? Milk; I don't like it with water. I only eat the apples and cinnamon kind. Was the last video you watched on YouTube a music video? If not, what was it of? It's a let's play. Have you ever been brave enough to cut your hair in a very different way? If you have, did you regret your decision after? Yes, and I still love it. What was the last book you had to read for school? Did you enjoy it, or were you just trying to get through? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. I loved it. Has anyone you know personally ever won the lottery? If so, how much did they win? Would/have you ever play(ed) the lottery? No to both questions. I have a very addictive personality, so I don't really mess with dangerous things that might tempt that behavior. What band/celebrity/etc. do you know the most information about? Who would you like to learn more about? Markiplier, ha ha. As for who I'd like to know more about... hm. Have your friends met the last person you kissed? Girt has. Who has made the biggest difference in your life? Jason. You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? Also Jason. -_- What is the name on your birth certificate (feel free to withhold your last name for privacy reasons)? Brittany Marie is all you need to know. Even if shopping isn’t your favorite... every girl has a favorite store. What’s yours? My favorite physical store is Hot Topic, but my favorite store overall is Rebel's Market, which I'm pretty sure is just an online source. Which type of undies do you wear most: Thongs, bikini/briefs, bootyshorts, or granny panties? Don't you dare laugh, I prefer "granny panties" lmfao. They're what I'm comfortable in, okay. How many nail polishes do you have, if you were to take a guess? *I* have none. Idk about Mom, but I know not a lot. Are you on birth control? Do you use condoms? I use birth control to regulate my period and ease cramps. If I was sexually active though, both would be musts for me. When did you start your period? How did you react? Who did you tell first? When I got home from school sometime in middle school. I don't remember exactly how old I was, but I was EXTREMELY upset. Like, I cried, because I didn't feel like a kid anymore. My mom was the first to know. Have you ever had sex while on your period? If so, would you ever do it again? NO NO NO NO THAT SOUNDS SO GROSS LKASDFJ;AJW;LKERJA;WEJLRKQWLKE;JR. Which way do you swing (boys, girls, or both)? I'm bi. Or pan. I really don't know. Tell me ALL about your longest/most serious relationship. Are you still in that relationship? How about I don't, because doing that I'm sure will send me in a PTSD spiral. No, we're no longer together. Who is your ALL TIME best friend (don’t count your boyfriend, either, silly!)? Sara. I don't think I've been as close with any other best friend. Which one of your friends has the best singing voice? SARAAAAAAAAAAA. What shade are you in foundation or concealer? I don't have a clue. I don't wear either. Have you ever showered with someone? Boy or girl? Were you completely naked? "Were you completely naked." No, I shower with underwear on. I've showered with my little sister as well as my best friend as a kid. I've never shared a shower as an adult and don't want to. Do you think you’re good enough for the person you like? No. Are you a cuddler or no? If I'm really into you, YUP. And if it's not hot. Wouldn’t it be kinda annoying to have to share a bed every night? No. I miss it sometimes. Have you ever walked on a beach at night? Yes. It's beautiful. Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? Pretty easily, yeah. Would you marry someone you didn’t love if you were paid 10 thousand dollars? No. I just wouldn't be able to stomach doing that. I'm solely marrying for love. Have you had sex today? I haven't in many years. Do you still care about your last ex? Very very much! Do you own more then one bathing suit? Nope. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? Yeah, but none I like. Who have you recently made up with after fighting? Nobody. Who do you WANT to make up with? Jason. Megan. Do you get scared easily? Hm. It really depends on the situation. Have you seen UP? Never the full movie, actually. I need to. How many coats of mascara do you use? I use it so rarely that I barely know. Two, maybe? What’s your favorite bracelet? The one Sara gave me. I used to always wear it, but it's worn down with time and is too loose for me now, so it's just with my jewelry. What color hair does your mom have? It's naturally gray now, but she dyes it black. Favorite song to listen to when you are mad? "Headache" by Motionless In White does it. What restaurant would you want to work at? NONE. I ain't working with hungry people. I don't want to work with people - period. When people ask “how are you?” do you say “good” even if you aren’t? Depends on who's asking. If it's a stranger or someone I barely know, odds are I'm just going to reply with "fine" or something like that. Were you honestly a good kid? Yes. Is anything wrong with your eyes? I have to wear glasses, so. Have you kissed or hugged anyone today? No. What is your mom’s and dad’s favorite TV show? I don't really know for either. Mom watches loads of shows, and I don't live with Dad, so. I know he really likes The Big Bang Theory, though, which Mom also loves. Have you ever suspected your mom or dad of having an affair? No, but ~supposedly~, Dad did with his now-wife. I don't know what the fuck is true between my parents, though. Do you think buying second hand clothes is gross? It depends on the type of clothing (ex., used underwear is a huge fucking no), as well as the state it's in. Does it gross you out when your parents kiss? They're divorced. That would be incredibly weird, uncomfortable, and impossible with how I know at least Mom feels towards Dad. Do you have a playlist made on YouTube? Yeah, multiple. Do you like dollar stores? I mean, sure? They have good deals occasionally and are a good option to stop for a quick snack or something. Mom doesn't actually *shop* in them, though. What’s the last thing you bought from one? I think a honeybun. Do you think it’s weird how babies are made? Well, yeah. Science can be crazy, though. Have you ever lost a friend over the opposite sex? No. Are you comfortable in a short skirt? I wouldn't be comfortable in ANY skirt. Do you and your family go on a vacation ever year? We essentially never do. Vacations cost money. We don't have money to spare. When you were going out with your last ex and you had the chance to date your celebrity crush, would you have left your bf/gf for them? No, because it's not like I know him personally, while I know her very deeply. Who was your most romantic moment with? Jason. Do you sweat easily? Like you wouldn't BELIEVE. A side effect of one (or even multiple) of my meds is hyperhidrosis, so I can sweat an ocean in two minutes, it seems. It's disgusting, and I am so self-conscious about it. What’s one memory you wish would just vanish? Just a specific moment with Jason that is particularly agonizing to recall. Are you in love with someone? No. Partying or watching a movie? Partying isn't my thing. I'd have more fun watching a movie with friends. What pisses you off the most? Child molesters/rapists, probably. Where do you want to be at a year from now? I just want a job by then, dude. I also hope I've lost a lot of weight. Do you like pickles? Only dill pickles. If you saw someone broken down on the side of the road, would you stop to help? Honestly, no. I don't trust people. What do you do with your plastic grocery bags after you unload your things? We put our plastic bags into one big bag for later use. Have you ever slept in a water bed? Yes. How often do you use Flickr? I don't. I only ever check my friend's for meerkat photos, ha ha. Share three nice memories you have of the person you fell hardest for. No, unless you want me to cry. Have you ever made any of your friends cry? Not deliberately of course, but yes. Do you look decent in your most recent photograph? God no, I look high. Out of all the guys you know, who would you trust to not cheat on you? Girt. I know he never would, especially because HE'S been cheated on. How do you plan on disciplining your children? NOT by physical means, I can tell you that much. If I actually had kids, I'd teach them through (hopefully) primarily deeply talking things out. If need be, there'd be time out, grounding, things like that. I do NOT support methods like spanking your kid, so that's a big no. If you could live in another country, would you? What country? Yes; Canada. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Quinn, probably. What’s one health problem you wish you didn’t have? It's a tie between depression and anxiety. What is your cure for hiccups? NOTHING works for me. It's the worst. Did you ever do anything in class that annoyed other students? I mean, I don't think so. Have you used a Ouija board and had a freaky experience with it? I've never messed with one, and I don't want to. I don't know if I believe in their supernatural abilities or not, but I ain't fuckin around and finding out. Do you stick with a political party, or vote for who you like best? I pick based on their policies and morals, not necessarily their party. Do you know anyone who is an albino? No. Word search or crossword puzzle? Word searches. When you watch a game show, do you like to see people win or lose? Aw, who wants to see them lose? It's great to see people win and be so excited. Do you have a pair of fake redneck, vampire, etc. teeth? No. What is your favorite Pixar film? Finding Nemo. Do you get really mad when you lose a game? Not at all. I'm not very competitive, and games are about having fun. When was the last time you used a pay phone? I actually don't think I ever have. Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? Jason. Do you go to church every Sunday? I never go to church as I'm not religious. If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? Who the fuck cares. If they're comfortable and at least have a shirt on, let 'em. Most women have breasts, big whoop. Do you even like politics? God no. What’s it like at raves? Oh god, I'd never go. Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? lol yes

[davethot]

ALL 36 BARBIE MOVIES RANKED... WHY DID WE DO THIS

Please............. for the love of god view this list. Help us. We worked so fucking hard... and for what?

My roommate/best friend and I ( @kar-queen ) decided to watch ALL 36 BARBIE MOVIES and then rank them from worst to best. This adventure was inspired by the YouTube video by caitlovesdisney where she also ranked every single Barbie movie. However, we wanted to do our own list since some of her choices didn’t reflect what we thought. Her list was still so awesome and I respect anyone who decides to watch all these Barbie movies. We did this because of sheer curiosity and for the sake of very scientific research. 

We thought it would be fun at first. We really did. And it was? Kind of? Just, Jesus Christ. We can no longer see pink. I have night terrors about Barbie’s ugly ass animal friends. It truly was An Experience and has left us feeling dazed and like we never want to rank things ever again. We weren’t planning on posting a written out ranking of these movies anywhere (since we were just doing it for fun between us) but we wanted some physical evidence of our labor since this whole experience took 50 years off our lives. 

Under READMORE we will rank the 36 Barbie movies from WORST TO BEST (36 to 1). HOWEVER, THERE’S A TWIST. We are ALSO ranking them based on how GAY they were (and trust me, it yielded more results than you would originally think). That way we could both get through these movies by spicing things up a little bit. Hit readmore if you’re not a coward.

DISCLAIMER: Barbie is a staple for kids and overall teaches them that anyone (though more specifically girls/women) can do/be anything, which is extremely admirable. We have no issues with Barbie as a role model for kids and this list is all in good fun. However, we are going to point out things that either frustrated us or seemed downright harmful for kids to watch and take after. Clearly Mattel/Barbie has taken great and necessary steps to be more inclusive and progressive, especially in recent years compared to their older movies. 

ANOTHER MILD DISCLAIMER: In some of these movies Barbie’s character is not named Barbie, but we’re just going to call every main girl Barbie to keep things simple and easy. Just a warning. 

ANOTHER ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: This is going to be long since there are 36 movies. Even if you read all of this you will only feel a fraction of our pain. 

WITH THAT, LET’S START WITH SOME HOT GARBAGE. LET’S GO GAMERS. 

36. BARBIE IN PRINCESS POWER (2015)

Starting out with at the fucking bottom lads. My roommate and I were foaming at the fucking mouth watching this movie. It’s so hard to explain why this one pissed us off so much because it was nearly every single goddamn aspect of it. Here’s some bullet points to make this go by quickly and painlessly. 

- She’s a princess but then she ALSO gets super powers??? So she’s already extremely privileged, rich, and lives a comfortable lifestyle, but then she gets powers when A MAGICAL FAIRY BUTTERFLY KISSES HER CHEEK? LIKE LITERALLY JUST KISSES HER CHEEK AND BOOM SHE HAS POWERS. 

- Her powers are really fucking boring. All she has is super strength and she can fly. 

- She treats her best friends/side kicks like shit??? These poor girls (neither rich nor princesses) dote on this fucking girl and do everything for her behind the scenes while she sucks at being a super hero. It’s really infuriating. 

- There’s a side plot where she lets the fame get to her head. So, she starts snapping at everyone around her and just being overall a total bitch? Also her sister gets powers too and they like, fight over this said attention. Stupid. 

- At the end of the movie she apologizes to her sister, but never to her friends or the other people she walked all over? Absolutely infuriating. We don’t know how else to describe this film. Barbie was so rude and unaware of the kind of privilege she had and acted spoiled the entire time, which is why it’s ranked at the complete bottom. 

- Also there was a romantic interest, I think????? He was a reporter? Don’t remember his name. Doesn’t matter. They didn’t get together. Also the fashion and colors in this movie are horrendous. Like c’mon guys. 

Oh also how could we forget. GAYNESS RANK: Not gay at all. So aggressively heterosexual.

Also: We know that Barbie is usually a princess in all of these movies and usually we don’t really care, but this one was especially bad when it came to her acting so fucking privileged. I swear we’re not insane this one was just so bad when it came to that. 

35. BARBIE AND THE SECRET DOOR (2014)

This one isn’t going to be as long or intense as Princess Power (which literally had so much wrong with it that we barely covered any of it). This one was just so offensively ugly. And boring. And stupid. I hated it so much. 

This is also another one where she’s a princess and she whines about how her life is so hard? 

In the beginning, she talks about how all she does is lay around all day and read books, and then later sings a song about how she wishes she could lay around all day and read books? Like, we stan a bookworm queen, but she acts so ungrateful for her lifestyles and then never mentions liking to read again when the main adventure of the movie starts. Just overall dumb and boring. 

Also this is so fucking ugly. Did we mention that this movie is ugly?

I don’t know who approved of these backgrounds and colors but they’re just so hideous like it literally gives me a headache. 

GAYNESS RANK: Pretty heterosexual. Barbie doesn’t have a love interest which is kind of nice and the two girls she meets are cute friends, but not enough to be noteworthy when it comes to gay. 

34. BARBIE A PERFECT CHRISTMAS (2011)

For being centered around Christmas, this didn’t feel like a Christmas movie at all. It tried to follow the typical plot of “We had a great Christmas planned but then oh no! So many things went wrong! But in the end all that matters is that you’re with your family and that’s what Christmas is all about :)” but they somehow managed to fuck that up? This movie is so mean? Barbie’s sisters are awful to each other, and lash out multiple times, especially at the youngest sister. Even if they tried to make up at the end the whole film felt very mean-spirited for a Christmas movie. 

The message about family was lost when they were more concerned with streaming a band performance rather than spending time with each other. It just was not great overall and left a very sour taste in our mouths. Would not recommend to show a kid around Christmas. 

GAYNESS RANK: Not gay at all. Pretty heterosexual. Skipper (the brunette) kind of had this weird thing with her girl friend that lived in New York but it didn’t really go anywhere. Her friend was never shown on screen, anyway. 

Also the movies really fucking ugly. We’re not even going to mention the horrendous pink Christmas trees. You’re welcome. 

33. BARBIE MAGIC OF THE RAINBOW (2007) (also known as Fairytopia 3)

Being the 3rd movie in the Fairytopia series, it’s by far the worst. The portrayal of Barbie/the main character was very obnoxious and careless. She was automatically good at everything she did on the first try and it was honestly so unrealistic and didn’t teach a great message at all. 

It also just, like, had these fairies attend school? To strengthen their powers, I guess? It wasn’t really explained. Barbie was very mean to a another fairy and even if they made up at the end it didn’t feel genuine. I think they were just trying to milk this Fairytopia series for everything it was worth and I’m glad it stopped after this one. 

Her bf in this one wasn’t bad, though, he was pretty sweet. He could talk to animals which was charming. 

GAYNESS RANK: Mid-tier. Even though she fought with the one fairy they had a pretty intense rivalry thing going on, which was pretty gay. Even though she had a bf they kind of barely interacted since Barbie was so engrossed with the other fairy. A few gay points I guess. Though those few gay points get taken away when her annoying fluff ball Bibble gets an ugly fluff ball girlfriend. Stupid.

32. BARBIE IN A MERMAID TALE (2010)

Okay, like... I barely watched this one so my roommate took the fall. So, I’m going to quote them for this: “This one was just written badly, objectively. The pacing was horrendous. The story was very contrived. *long pause*....... That’s all.” 

Yeah I don’t have much to say about this one either. I remember Barbie being bitchy towards her friends and her guardian. When a magic dolphin asks her to help she’s just like “no, fuck you” for literally no reason at all? She surfs but it’s not even that cool, so... wasted potential.

GAYNESS RANK: There’s not nothing? Some potential. Her surfing buddies hang around and she hangs out with her mermaid friends as well. Other than that, though... :( (I promise there will be Barbie movies that are gay just wait) 

31. BARBIE AND HER SISTERS IN A PUPPY CHASE (2016)

This movie... is so strange. We hated it so much, but it was also kind of ironically hilarious??? This is the second movie in the “Barbie and her Sisters + Puppies” series (which are terrible) but this one was special in how awful it was. 

Barbie is SUCH AN IRRESPONSIBLE SISTER. So they go on vacation to some tropical island and Barbie’s youngest sister has a dance recital to practice for, but Barbie just straight up tells her to not practice?? LIKE??? BARBIE?!

They also end up fucking deserted on this island. Everything you can think of goes wrong for them. It’s honestly incredible. At one point they’re stranded outside in the rain only eating granola bars by a fire. Barbie tries to cheer them up by playing this STUPID game called “imagine if” where they just name things that they wish would happen??? 

Oh and at the end Barbies sister ends up winning her dance recital when her whole family and an entire entourage of animals dance with her on stage. Cause, like, yeah, that’s totally fucking fair to the other contestants. 

GAYNESS RANK: All of these Puppy movies are absolutely not gay at all bc it’s literally just Barbie and her sisters with some puppies. Don’t expect too much.  

30. BARBIE AND HER SISTERS IN THE GREAT PUPPY ADVENTURE (2015)

This is the first movie in the Sisters + Puppies series and it’s pretty much just as bad as the other one, but at least Puppy Chase was funny. This one is really boring. Also forgot to mention that the puppies talk. It’s very annoying and absolutely ruins the movies. 

This movie on the surface kind of has a charming premise where they all go on vacation to the countryside/the midwest and experience a lot of small town things, and yet it doesn’t feel very genuine? As someone from the midwest I can confirm. 

Barbie and her sisters go on this treasure hunt that apparently their grandfather died trying to solve, and yet they manage to solve it within a couple days? caitlovesdisney explains it pretty well in her video if you wanna hear more about Puppy Adventure. I know you’re just dying to know more about Puppy Adventure. 

GAYNESS RANK: Barbie at one point talks to another woman who isn’t one of her sisters. Super exciting stuff. 

29. BARBIE THE PRINCESS AND THE POPSTAR (2012) 

Okaaaaay, like....... this one made us really. really. mad. 

So we’ve already mentioned how Barbie acts super privileged in some of these movies, but this is the one that made us notice it. The basic premise is that there’s a princess (Barbie) and a popstar (Who Cares) and they want to switch lives. 

But the thing is they already live amazing lives? So the other Barbie film that this one borrows from (The Princess and the Pauper) loses its meaning and drama? Instead of a rich girl and poor girl trading lives, it’s just two rich girls switching lives. 

ALSO! There’s this side plot where, within the castle, they have this tree that can GROW DIAMONDS? AND THAT’S THE SOURCE OF THE KINGDOM’S WEALTH? AND YET, LATER IN THE MOVIE, THERE ARE POOR PEOPLE LIVING IN POVERTY. SO WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DIAMOND TREE FOR?????

The only saving grace for this movie was that Barbie and the popstar were extremely gay. Like, having posters and pictures of each other in their rooms, gazing at each other dreamily from balconies, and subtly being very touchy-feely every time they’re together in person. That’s pretty much the only reason why it’s a bit higher than some of the others. 

GAYNESS RANK: One of the gayest ones. There are so many side glances and yearning. Shoulder touches and all that. We totally shipped these two by the end. In a different universe, in a better movie... these two could have been super cute together. 

28. BARBIE THE PEARL PRINCESS (2014)

Not much to say about this one. I hated it a lot more than my roommate did and I’m the one typing this all out sooooo I get the final say. I hate this movie so much. Barbie, once again, acted really privileged and was super unlikable. At one point she gets a job at a hair salon, which is kinda nice I guess? But then she’s automatically good at it without even trying? So... fuck off. 

Also there’s a seahorse with hair and it looked so ugly that I constantly wanted to cry. Please free me from the sleep paralysis demons that are the Barbie animal sidekicks. 

GAYNESS RANK: Nothing to report. The couple girls Barbie hangs out with were barely in the movie so there were no vibes. Sad. 

27. BARBIE IN ROCK N ROYALS (2015)

We’re getting to the mid-tier Barbie movies that we don’t have much to say about. My roommate and I just found the concept of this one to be really dumb? 

The outfits were very ugly and the singers were really bad. But there was a main character who was a black girl, which was really nice to see! They also went a little more punk than the typical frilly stuff which was nice to see. Not the worst but still ranked pretty low cause of the dumb premise and just being pretty boring overall. 

GAYNESS RANK: This one was decently gay, pretty mid-tier. Barbie had a great potential romance with the other main girl and the way they interacted was very sweet and cute. They both had male love interests but nothing really came of it which is kinda funny. Not too much going on but enough to get a mention. 

26. BARBIE PRINCESS CHARM SCHOOL (2011)

This was SO FRUSTRATING because it started out STRONG, but then crashed and burned really quickly. 

The movie starts out with Barbie working her ass off at a little diner to make ends meet at home. We see how her guardian can’t work and that she has a little sister and a home to support. It was really charming to see Barbie hustling to make money and felt so much more down-to-Earth than a lot of the other Barbie movies where she’s a princess and has everything she wants. 

Long story short, she wins this drawing to be enrolled in this Princess Charm School where you can learn to be royalty. In the end she finds out that she was the lost princess all along and then everything that was mentioned at the beginning is completely abandoned once this is found out. Just... super disappointing how a relatable Barbie depiction ends up being a princess all along :/

Also the fashion in this movie was super disappointing. They somehow managed to make preppy school girl outfits look bad. Sad. 

GAYNESS RANK: This one’s pretty much on the same level as Rock n Royals. There was some potential with Barbie and her friends but not much else. Next. 

25. BARBIE IN A MERMAID TALE 2 (2012)

Absolutely nothing to report. There’s some more surfing action in this one compared to the first one which is really nice. 

Imma be real with u chief... I barely remember what happens. She meets an Australian girl? She gets tricked by a French fish into transforming into a mermaid? Villain from the first movie comes back... Australian girl gets caught in a whirlpool... They save the day. 

There’s a pretty shitty part where the Australian girl wins the surfing competition but Barbie still somehow gets all the reporters’ attention and gets a sponsorship. It was sad and tbh we didn’t like that part. 

GAYNESS RANK: Gayer than most. Her and this girl have a rivalry which is pretty cute. They playfully tease each other while surfing all the time and tbh I could totally ship it. The Australian girl’s pretty spunky which is refreshing. Too bad her Australian accent was so obviously fake it was distracting. 

24. BARBIE FAIRYTOPIA (2005)

This one gets the award for the most boring Barbie movie. We both could not even try to bring ourselves to pay attention to this one, even if my roommate was nostalgic for it. Bibble was a highlight just cause we made fun of him the whole time but it was a short-lived high. That’s all. Here’s a creepy picture we found of the main character.

GAYNESS RANK: Barbie doesn’t have a love interest at all, which is like, a point... She hangs out with the blue fairy and they’re kinda cute. Not much else, though. 

23. BARBIE FAIRYTOPIA: MERMAIDIA (2006)

My roommate is really nostalgic for this one since they grew up with it, and yet they found it hard to pay attention at all. As did I. It was pretty boring. About a week went by after we watched this one and my roommate was trying to talk about it but I literally did not remember watching it until they showed me a picture of the ugly ass snail with huge lips and it jump scared me. You had to be there I guess. 

They were mermaids... Bibble was there... typical Barbie shit. This image pretty much perfectly describes how enthralling it was to watch this. 

GAYNESS RANK: Barbie and the blue mermaid are a little gay. The love interest was pretty funny and cute. He did have a thing for the blue mermaid so a couple gay points get deducted. 

22. BARBIE THE 12 DANCING PRINCESSES (2006) 

We know this one’s a classic, but we just found it to be very boring? I know this seems like a trend but we swear that we didn’t think all the Barbie movies are boring, it’s just the middle of the list. The dancing in this one was kind of nice and there was an interesting subplot where this lady was slowly poisoning their dad. 

The only thing that seemed silly was when they would stow away to the magical island... Like, why? The lady banned dancing but they could have just danced in their rooms. No one ever went in to check on them or they would have noticed they were gone anyway. So what the hell. 

Also Barbie and all of her other sisters looked exactly the same and it was hard to tell them apart. The love interest was pretty cute, though. 

GAYNESS RANK: Nothing, absolutely zippo. They’re all sisters and she had a nice romance with the guy so. 

21. BARBIE AND THE DIAMOND CASTLE (2008)

Gonna get this out of the way: There is basically nothing to report when it comes to the plot of this movie. Evil force upon the land. A villain. Animal sidekicks. Love interest/Ken who’s barely in the movie. Barbie defeats the evil and gets a new dress. THE END. BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT WE’RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT.

THIS MOVIE... IS SO GAY?

This was at the top of our gay Barbie list literally the entire time (until it was dethroned, but we’ll get to that later). This story LITERALLY revolves around Barbie and her “friend” who: live together in the same house, write songs together, dream about living in a mansion together, garden together, sing while gardening together... LIKE?? Holy shit, lesbian goals. 

At one point in the film they find two heart shaped rocks in the river and make them into necklaces, which they both wear to solidify their “friendship”. We are not making this up. This entire movie was comprised of us looking incredulously at each other every time they stared longingly at one another or mentioned how much they need each other. Evidence:

GAYNESS RANKING: Not gonna say it again. Top-tier gay. However, amazingly, not the gayest. We’ll get into that later. Regardless, we stan two beautiful lesbians living in the woods together where all they do is wear heart-shaped necklaces and sing songs about being rich one day. Amazing.

20. THUMBELINA (2009)

A Barbie movie with an environmental message, which is fine, I guess... Overall we just kinda found this movie annoying, but still a little bit better than other ones that were either insulting or just downright boring. Ferngully for babies? 

I... Wish I could say more. I’m sorry. It’s fine if you were going to show it to a kid, I guess. We also thought this one was kinda ugly as well. 

GAYNESS RANK: There are the two friends and we got no vibes. Absolutely zippo. Next. 

19. BARBIE MARIPOSA AND HER BUTTERFLY FAIRY FRIENDS (2008)

Another one where we just don’t have much to say? We’re now entering the “fine” category. I wouldn’t be really mad if someone made me rewatch it, but I wouldn’t be happy with it either. 

Barbie is also a bookworm in this one, but it’s done a lot better than Secret Door. It’s kind of nice how she’s considered an outcast in this one and has to work through that. Her love interest (Carlos, we remembered his name!) was funny and brought life to the movie. Overall pretty okay!

The bunny sidekick was kind of ugly, though. Can’t win in every category.

GAYNESS RANK: Has some promising potential, but doesn’t really deliver. Disappointing but not awful. 

18. BARBIE MARIPOSA AND THE FAIRY PRINCESS (2013)

This one is a lot better than the first! Surprisingly, this movie deals racism in a way that is easily digestible for children while also not making light of the issue. It’s not perfect, but we found it to do its job pretty well. 

It centers around Barbie meeting a princess (Barbie isn’t a princess for once, yay!) and while the two want to be friends, the princess is a crystal wing fairy and Barbie is a butterfly wing fairy, so the princesses father objects to them being friends. 

Also great time to mention that this was the second gayest Barbie movie for many many many reasons. And trust us, topping Diamond Castle is no easy feat. 

First of all, there are SEVERAL scenes where the crystal fairy princess is completely disinterested in what’s going on but, as soon as Barbie walks in, she gets really excited and gives her her full attention. It’s EXTREMELY cute. 

Second, there’s a Beauty and the Beast esque scene where the crystal fairy gives Barbie an entire library of books, since she remembers that she loves books. They also proceed to bond over what kind of books they like and watching them geek out over that is adorable. 

Third, they sneak off to a cave so that they can hang out without the crystal fairy’s father (the king) finding them. They then go to skip rocks on a lake and the ripples make rainbows. They also dance together at a ball, and there is just so much lingering eye contact and small touches. They’re cute and we ship. 

GAYNESS RANK: ALMOST top of the list. SUPER close. Not quite there, though. We weren’t expecting this one to be as gay as it was since it was a sequel movie, but thank god it was. 

17. BARBIE VIDEO GAME HERO (2017)

This... is a weird one? The basic plot is that Barbie is a programmer who makes video games. She gets sucked into a video game and they need her help to rid the game of viruses. We’re really conflicted about this movie so this will benefit from some good ol fashioned bullet points. 

- It’s really cool that Barbie’s a programmer and likes to play video games, and she’s not a princess! It was very nice and modern of them to include a story like this. Very refreshing after 30 or so Barbie movies that revolve around her being a princess.

- There’s a lot of side characters who join Barbie on her quest, but none of them are interesting or memorable...

- The art style changes between “levels”, and while a cute idea, they don’t take advantage of it enough! There are only three art style changes in the whole movie, and two out of the three are really ugly. 

- There is so much Just Dance product placement in this movie. It’s cringe. 

- The plot of this movie literally... makes no sense? They say that once Barbie wins the level, the viruses attacking that said level will be destroyed, but throughout the movie every time she wins they still don’t stop??? So that’s why she had to have a bunch of characters follow her around so they wouldn’t get attacked by viruses? SO WHAT IS SHE WINNING THE LEVELS FOR?

- This movie was probably the most baby out of all of them. While there’s nothing wrong with that, it was kind of a shock after we were watching all the other Barbie films, which are more targeted towards children to tweens. This one felt like it was for toddlers. 

- Overall this movie wasn’t bad, just very strange. Would maybe recommend? Fine for your kid to watch if they want something casual and fun that involves a girl gamer. Gamers rise up. 

GAYNESS RANK: No gay vibes at all, which is not a total epic gamer moment. Probs because this movie was very very baby so the vibes were nonexistent. Too bad since Barbie met up with a lot of cute girls. Gaymer oppression never ends :(. Press F.

16. BARBIE DOLPHIN MAGIC (2017)

We did it lads. We found The Gayest Barbie Movie that has Ever Existed.

Before we get to that, though, I hate to admit that this is one of the Barbie’s Sisters + Puppies movies, but it’s kind of hilarious because in this one they completely remove the puppies talking. I guess someone smartened up and realized that that was stupid and dumb. Thank god for them because it made the movie infinitely better. 

Plot is simple: Barbie and her sisters are on vacation and while they’re visiting the most boring man on Earth (Ken), an emerald dolphin gets trapped by an evil marine biologist who wants to sell the dolphin for money. Then a mermaid named Isla (yes we remember her name because she’s incredible) goes to save the dolphin with the help of Barbie (with minimal contributions from the others). 

I know we raved about how Fairy Princess was very gay, but just......... wow......... The difference between this and fairy princess is that Dolphin Magic literally has an entire scene dedicated to Barbie and Isla swimming together very closely with ethereal music, littered with cute giggling, lingering shoulder touches, and extended eye contact. Oh, also can’t forget the hand holding.

Don’t forget about the necklaces they give each other so that they can stay connected with each other no matter where they are in the world. There’s even a scene at the end where Isla mentions how Barbie kept trying to contact her multiple times off-screen, only validating Barbies insane girl crush on Isla. 

This may or may not be photoshopped but tbh I don’t give a damn. 

GAYNESS RANK: The gayest Barbie movie. These two were so adorable throughout the entire movie and we couldn’t even get into everything that made it so charming. There were many scenes where Isla was learning how to act like a human that were so sweet and endearing. Great Barbie movie if you’re looking for something sweet with some obvious lesbians. Go team. 

15. BARBIE NUTCRACKER (2001)

We had a lot to say about Dolphin Magic since it was gay, but now we’re getting back into the “it’s fine” category with Nutcracker. 

This movie is sweet and it’s pretty hard to fuck up a Nutcracker adaptation. There wasn’t a ton of ballet which was a little disappointing? They also didn’t play the whole soundtrack and stuck a lot of the good songs right at the end, which was odd. Our only real complaint was it kind of wasted its potential and it was slightly boring. 

Other than that, it’s a sweet Christmas movie if anyone really likes Barbie and the Nutcracker. My roommate grew up on the Nutcracker so regardless it can be pretty nostalgic for some. 

Also, Barbie is beautiful in this movie. 

GAYNESS RANK: There literally is not another female for Barbie to interact with in this movie. There were a couple guys who could have possibly given off vibes but we felt nothing so. 

14. BARBIE A FASHION FAIRYTALE (2010)

If there’s anything to say about this one, it’s definitely... interesting. 

So in this universe, Barbie is an actress, and she plays herself in a bunch of pre-existing Barbie movies (many of which that have already been mentioned on this list). It’s extremely meta and a little confusing???

Barbie basically gets fired from her job, Ken dumps her, and she goes to find herself in Paris with her fashion designer aunt. The most interesting thing we can really say about this movie is describing the beginning, because that was the best part by far. 

It’s also revealed that Ken did not actually dump her, so there’s a really charming side plot where Ken travels all the way from LA to Paris to sort it all out in person through a spontaneous act of romance. 

Ken ABSOLUTELY makes this movie. We quote him a lot when we’re just hanging out in the apartment. He is so cute and funny and loves Barbie so much, it’s adorable. Absolutely worth the watch to see a true himbo in action. 

Also, Ken and Barbie kiss at the end and we’re p sure this is the only movie where Barbie actually kisses any of her love interests. Fuck yeah. 

GAYNESS RANK: There’s no gayness, but that’s okay, because the romance between Barbie and Ken is adorable. I never want anything to get between these two :’)

13. BARBIE IN A CHRISTMAS CAROL (2008)

Not much more to say about this one other than it’s a Christmas Carol but with Barbie. It was interesting to see Barbie in a “Scrooge” role where she has to relearn how to be caring and kind. It was pretty down to Earth and felt very Christmas-y and festive. 

There was a very sweet plot of Barbie reconnecting with a girl she used to sing with as they were growing up. It was also interesting to see that while Barbie was growing up, her family would force her to practice singing rather than letting her go outside and live a normal life. This made Barbie feel a little more down-to-Earth. 

Sorry, we don’t really know what else to say. It’s fine. The cat is very ugly, though. 

GAYNESS RANK: There’s a scene at the end, after Barbie reconnects with her friend, where she’s holding her hands and giggling a lot. It was really cute to see them be friends and to be excited about the holidays together. A couple gay points were deducted since her friend did have a love interest, though.

12. BARBIE AND THE THREE MUSKETEERS (2009)

Not gonna lie, this one was a little... disappointing? We were really excited for this one since it’s a lot of people’s favorite, and the concept of Barbie being a musketeer (and not a princess :)) is exciting and fresh. 

The beginning of this movie was great!! Seeing Barbie practicing in the barn with her animals was just really sweet. She was wearing a cute outfit with pants a vest and the HAT. 

Though, as it went on, it started to drop off for us. The reveal of the musketeers at the end was really underwhelming, and we thought the outfits were a let down compared to Barbie’s earlier outfit in the movie. 

Other than those things, this movie was fun!! Watching all the girls be badass and learn how to fight with their unique weapons was awesome. Watching them team up was really satisfying. The prince guy was also pretty sweet. We would recommend watching this, esp if you remember it being your favorite.

GAYNESS RANK: Has a lot of gay energy!! There are a few scenes where people are outwardly sexist towards her and yet she strives to prove them wrong. When she meets the other girls, they are coached by this old lady who can kick ass. Even though it could have been gayer it was a good time.

11. BARBIE A FAIRY SECRET (2011)

Some people may be mad that we put this above Three Musketeers... whoops. 

Anyway this movie solely exists to give us more Amazing Ken content. This movie takes place in the same universe as Fashion Fairy Tale, so it’s the same Barbie and Ken from that movie. 

Our only complaint is that they took the domestic feel of Fashion Fairy Tale and turned it into something that had so much unnecessary magic?? Though at the same time we got A Vibe from this movie that the creators just wanted to make something silly, and it worked.

Ken is HILARIOUS in this movie, even better than Fashion Fairy Tale. Even though everyone turns into a fairy, the wings that they give Ken are small and pink and he can barely fly with them. It’s just so... funny? He also... mock-fights this other buff fairy guy?? Idk this movie is really hard to explain, sorry. We would definitely recommend this even if just for Ken. 

GAYNESS RANK: Ken is a himbo so he automatically attracts the lesbian crowd. There’s also a plot with Barbie where she makes up with this girl who had been mean to her for the longest time, but it’s done in a way that just feels... really gay? Or at least the girl is kinda gay and Barbie doesn’t exactly realize (since she’s in a committed relationship with Ken). This movie feels like it would be more appealing to gay people rather than being gay itself.

10. BARBIE AS THE PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER (2004)

A lot of people are probably going to be surprised that this isn’t in our top 5, but we want to stress that this movie is good!! These top 10 Barbie movies are getting into the territory where we would absolutely recommend them because they are cute and fun, and this is exactly that!

The songs in this movie are great! However, we do have to be a little bitter towards it since this started the trend of musical Barbie movies, and many of them are shitty and bad compared to this. 

The villain of this movie....... *chefs kiss* We also quote him constantly. 

This is an example of a Barbie movie where she’s a princess but it’s very endearing and done well. She rarely comes off as spoiled. She’s very smart and brave, and we see this through her actions rather than the movie just obnoxiously telling us that she is. Also the romance between the pauper and the king was very sweet. 

GAYNESS RANK: While this was a great set-up to be gay, it doesn’t follow through. We’re not bitter about it, though, since their love interests were very sweet. Pretty straight of them to have their cats fall in love, though :/

9. BARBIE AS THE ISLAND PRINCESS (2007)

When we first watched this one, we thought it was extremely boring and we were going to put it kind of low, but the more we thought about it we realized that it really did have a great plot.

They brought Barbie to civilization from her deserted island and people start getting sick, so they’re blaming Barbie for bringing diseases when in reality it’s the villain using rats to poison people’s food. Also, it was so charming and interesting to see Barbie’s love interest want to be an adventurer, and he had so much more personality than a lot of other Barbie Princes. While he’s not on Ken’s level, he was so sweet. 

All in all this one definitely had one of the tightest plots with great characters that really endears you to them. It’s a little slow but def worth the watch.

GAYNESS RANK: One of the least gay ones... Not mad though, the love interests were great. The peacock was kinda gay so... love wins. 

8. BARBIE OF SWAN LAKE (2003)

People will ALSO be surprised that this one is so low compared to other people’s Barbie movie lists. Please, trust us, we’re not crazy, it’s just... when you’ve watched 30+ other Barbie movies the initial charm of this kind of wears off. We both are very nostalgic for this movie and yet that couldn’t even bump it into the top 5. 

A couple things we can praise: The toys were AMAZING, Barbie’s dress is BEAUTIFUL and ICONIC, the dancing and music were very gorgeous. The dancing in this movie was mocapped from real ballet dancers, so, very nice.

But... the forest animals were kind of annoying? Their outfits were kind of cute but they were still annoying? The villain’s daughter’s VOICE was just... HORRENDOUS. With the villain in Princess and the Pauper, the guy’s voice was comical but it didn’t completely take you out of the movie. This chick, however, was being so over dramatic that it wasn’t even ironically funny, it was very cringey... Just bad voice acting all around. 

Also this movie was a lot more boring than we remember. 

REGARDLESS OF ALL OF THAT, this is a CLASSIC Barbie movie and we would still recommend checking it out at least once (and rewatching if you haven’t seen it since you were a kid). 

GAYNESS RANK: Nothing gay to report. Next.

7. BARBIE IN THE PINK SHOES (2013)

Another... strange one. 

So Barbie is a ballet dancer about to do a performance and when her shoes break down, she goes into a store room and finds a pair of pink ballet shoes. When she puts them on, she and her friend are teleported into this alternate dimension??? Where all ballets ever are happening at the same time??? And she’s the main lead for all of them?? At once?? And there’s this ice queen villain who controls people by making them dance???????

This was the first Barbie movie we watched (we put them all in a wheel and let that decide our fate) and it sure did set the tone. 

Plot doesn’t matter though, we need to talk about... Them. Only Pink Shoes fans will understand. 

So, there are these two guys... and they’re just like... really gay??? They inspired us to apply a gay ranking to these Barbie movies, if that tells you anything. One in a prince and the other is a commoner/hunter. There are so many scenes where it cuts away from Barbie to focus on these two playfully bantering with each other (enemies to lovers 100k slowburn)? The hunter guy teaches the other how to shoot a bow and arrow by touching him and guiding him into the right position? There’s also a scene where they meet back up with Barbie, but they only have two horses, so instead of Barbie riding with one of them they ride with each other and give her her own horse??? Respect women juice...

They also show up at the end just... together? (in real life not in the... Pink Shoes dimension) and it’s not explained what they’re doing together or even what their relationship is (friendship or otherwise). It truly was bizarre. 

GAYNESS RANK: This was on top for quite awhile since it was the first movie we watched. Unfortunately de-throned by Diamond Castle when we got around to it, but we still STAN these himbos. 

6. BARBIE AND HER SISTERS IN A PONY TALE (2013)

I... okay hear us out...

This movie is bad. Like, objectively it’s very very bad. It’s a baby movie, a Barbie and her sisters movie, it’s a horse girl movie, on top of everything... and yet... 

We probably had the most fun watching this one, like, we were glued to the fucking screen. We cried laughing multiple times because it was just so charmingly bad. 

Plot isn’t important, since my roommate and I keep forgetting what the real plot is. We only care about the British boys from the rivaling stable and how they just breeze in and out and run away on their horses laughing like frenchmen... even though they’re British. One of them uncannily resembles Malfoy from hp and is a sidekick to the main guy, it’s a little weird. 

There are also these two British kids and the girl is super weird? Like weird girl representation for real. Also there’s this Phillipe guy who was so fucking funny to listen to. Here’s Phillipe, you’re welcome.

Fuck you I’m not resizing the image. 

Oh also Barbie finds a magic horse with a pink mane. Phillipe wants to like, kill her for it, I guess. Yeah. 

GAYNESS RANK: While super fucking funny, not a lot of gay. It makes up for it with the mere presence of Phillipe. 

5. BARBIE AND THE MAGIC OF PEGASUS (2005)

This and the next entry are both tied for 4th place since it was extremely hard to choose between the two. We were both nostalgic for this and the next entry, but we were also really excited to find out that both of these are great movies!

So me personally, I was a horse girl growing up, and I ADORED this movie. I didn’t think it would be so good upon rewatch, but it actually was! The plot was pretty tight, the villain was fun, it felt like a genuine fairytale, the characters were cute and fun, and Barbie was intelligent and resourceful! 

Check this one out if you haven’t seen it, but now we’re going to talk about one of the best aspects of this movie, which is Barbie’s love interest. 

Unlike every single other Barbie bf, the love interest in this one (named Aiden) was literally almost a better character than Barbie herself. For the first time EVER they decided to give a Barbie love interest a BACKSTORY. And, like, a GOOD backstory. It made him feel like a real person and his story pulled at your heartstrings. 

Also, him and Barbie do not automatically get along, and for a decent amount of time they have witty banter with one another. It really lets their characters shine through the movie and was SO refreshing. 

We could rave about Aiden all day, but you guys should just go watch it for yourself, it really is worth it!

GAYNESS RANK: Not gay at all, but fine since the romance is so great. Moving on!

4. BARBIE AS RAPUNZEL (2002)

This movie is just... good. And not even good for a Barbie movie, it’s just a well-written movie overall! The plot was tight and remained interesting without being too complicated, either. Barbie’s animals were also pretty charming (even if the rabbit is ass ugly, but it’s 2002, they get a pass) and likable compared to other Barbie sidekicks. The dragon even has a little arc of her own??? Hell yeah. 

Don’t really have to explain the plot, it’s Rapunzel. The only difference is that she has a magical paintbrush that can teleport her to places that she paints, which helps the story progress. 

It also really did feel like Barbie was in mortal danger, which is so unlike every other Barbie movie. I was really glad to have grown up with this movie being my first exposure to Rapunzel, since I believe it’s a great introduction to her (and the toys were awesome, lol). This was another movie where Barbie being a princess was really great and charming since it felt earned since she went through hard times. 

Okay, like, we literally cannot go any further without mentioning something, stay with us...

In the movie, there’s, like, this weasel/ferret thing that belongs to the villain. He’s basically an animal villain, or whatever. 

I don’t really know how else to say this other than there’s this scene where he asks the villain to give him the rabbit and he outright just... moans????? The voice actor just... lets it out. It literally sounds like he’s getting a hand job in the recording booth in the middle of the line and just lets it all out and they kept that shit in, and then animated it???? 

We really wish we could include a video exclusively of that scene, but the best we can do is just link the video and give you a time stamp (37:49). PLEASE watch it. We have been quoting it every single day since we watched the damn movie.

GAYNESS RANK: No gay. Nothing to report. Barren. Probably the least gay. 

3. BARBIE SPY SQUAD (2016)

All due respect to the original queen caitlovesdisney, but like, she’s wrong about Spy Squad. Listen. 

This movie was SO MUCH FUN. We were literally just glued to the screen and having a great time watching these three girls chase after this cute af phantom thief chick??? They had tons of cops-and-robbers dialogue with her and it was just... FUN. Almost like a thriller, tbh. 

caitlovesdisney did make a great point in her video when she mentioned that they were actually pretty bad at being spies, and we can totally see why this would be super frustrating to people if they were watch. However, my roommate and I didn’t mind? We thought it was charming that they weren’t automatically great at something and that they had to practice a ton to get better. So much more refreshing compared to other Barbie stories. 

The elephant in the room, though... we have to talk about Lazlo. 

Barbie’s friend (Theresa) has the cutest fucking romance with the boy who builds all their spy equipment throughout the movie. They’re both really nerdy, but they don’t shove it down your throat and act annoying about it? It literally just comes up in casual conversation between the two of them and they just have fun talking about things they like. It was so fucking cute and it made the movie that much better. 

GAYNESS RANK: This movie is REALLY REALLY... APPEALING to gay people, even though it’s not really gay itself. The phantom thief, the spy outfits, all the girls riding motorcycles, the leather, the cool spy equipment... It just felt like it would appeal to a lot of gay people (and it did, cause we fuckin liked it). This movie is good. Please watch it and don’t let its low ranking on other lists dissuade you. We are right and they are wrong. 

2. THE BARBIE DIARIES (2006)

Before yall say anything, we know that this movie is fucking ugly. We clowned on some of the other movies for being ugly but this one truly takes the ugly cake. 

HOWEVER, that did not prevent this movie from being good. We fucking loved it. 

FIRST OF ALL, Barbie is in high school???? Which was so fresh to see???? There’s no magic, no princesses. It’s literally just a down-to-Earth teen drama movie involving Barbie, her friends, a love interest, and some mean girls. 

This had a really interesting plot that was actually kind of... complicated???? Dare I say??? We’re not stupid. There was just so much going on involving couples breaking up and getting back together, Barbie changing her motivations, how her friends react to what she’s doing, just... so much.

The only real criticism we have of this one is that the apology in this one was pretty rushed and didn’t feel Barbie’s friends should have forgiven her so easily for the shit she did. Other than that, though, this was a pretty great teen drama that I would highly recommend. I would definitely watch this one again, regardless of how ugly it is. 

GAYNESS RANK: Barbie had a clear love interest with a guy that was super sweet (sorry we didn’t mention him but he’s one of the better love interests, love u Kev) but mean girl teen drama is always a little gay? Plus how she would go back and forth between social circles was interesting. Also her and her friends are in a band, which is always cool and appealing to the gays, at least. 

1. BARBIE STARLIGHT ADVENTURE (2016)

We did it. We made it to the end. If there’s even one person who read this at all I would thank you but... you’ve lost along with us. BUT AT LEAST WE GET TO TELL YOU ABOUT STARLIGHT ADVENTURE. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This movie came out NOWHERE and fucking PUNCHED US IN THE FACE. When the wheel picked this one, we were starting to get burned out, and thought that since this was a newer Barbie movie it wouldn’t be very good. Boy, were we fucking wrong. 

This movie is so INTERESTING and HANDS DOWN has the best portrayal of Barbie as a character. This took such an interesting perspective on space travel, sci-fi, a slightly dystopian YA setting... it has so much going on but never feels like too much. 

Can we just start with how GORGEOUS this movie looks and how CUTE Barbie’s design is?!

She’s wearing a VEST and PANTS!!!!! FUCK YES. 

Anyway, the plot: She lives with her dad on this deserted planet, and she takes care of the animals, while also riding a hoverboard competitively. She’s contacted by some galactic king to join a team and fix the alignment of the stars? (sorry if it’s not exactly right lol its 4am). When accepting, she also meets this girl that she had been competing with at hoverboard competitions, and they develop a really sweet friendship with each other and a few other friends/teammates. 

Unlike the other Barbie movies, we kind of understand why everyone else looks up to Barbie as a leader figure. She makes decisions confidently and goes through so much character development. Even the villain goes through a sort of redemption arc, and it’s done fairly well!!! This is so much different from other Barbie movies. 

This feels like it could be, like, a legitimate movie that could be played in theaters rather than a straight-to-DVD Barbie movie. The animation in this was GORGEOUS, like miles better than 99% of the other movies. Plus, cute animal sidekick (FINALLY). 

We can’t gush about this enough, people should be made aware of this movie. It’s completely worth your time. IT’S ALSO ON NETFLIX. 

GAYNESS RANK: This is another one that’s moreso appealing to gay people rather than being gay itself. However, Barbie and the other girl that rides the hoverboard have a few really gay scenes, such as meeting up in a garden late at night and riding around. They giggle and laugh with each other and have a deep conversation about life and shit while staring up at the (gorgeously animated) sky. That def gets some points. 

That’s it those are all the 36 Barbie movies ranked based off of nothing but pure............................ hubris? Stupidity? Pride? I don’t know. I’m so sorry. We fucking hated watching most of these. 

Except for Starlight Adventure.... You can stay.

[newmayhem]

Character analysis: Aubrey (Part 1)

Because this post heavily refers to direct quotations from the author and the OG text, I’ll stick calling everyone by their original names throughout (as I usually do when I’m talking specifically about the original iteration and in quotations). But elsewhere on the site, I typically refer to everyone by different names in all other situations.

Aubrey is both easier and harder to pin down than either Risika or Alexander. He gets a decent amount of screentime in ITFOTN both DIMV. Whereas in ITFOTN we’re seeing him exclusively through Risika’s pov, DIMV is narrated in the 3rd person so we also get to see him more objectively, and because he’s more of a hero in that book, we get to see a different side of him.

Still, what’s going to make him slightly harder to articulate is that his motives in ITFOTN have never been explicitly spelled out in the text, and we also never got to see his pre-vampire history so we don’t really know what shaped him.

I’m going to split his character analysis into three sections- Aubrey’s motives re: Risika/ITFOTN, Aubrey’s personality/worldview according to the og text,  and a (re)imagining/reverse engineering of Aubrey’s’ personal history.

Motives

It seems a little backwards to start with looking at his motivations, but this being Risika’s story, it makes the most sense to examine Aubrey in relation to Risika. For me, the most interesting part is trying to figure out exactly why he keeps popping up in Risika’s narrative. It’s never covered in the og text, and that makes sense because this is being told from Risika’s pov and she doesn’t care about Aubrey’s motivations, only about the disastrous results of them. Which is more than fair, tbh.

Like I said, we don’t get any explanation of Aubrey’s motives in ITFOTN, but we do get clues in DIMV as well as some Word of God statements from ahar, and the excerpts from Black Flame (an unpublished TDOS story from Aubrey’s POV).

Quotes From Chapter 10 of Demon in My View:

More than her physical appearance, Jessica had a rare aura of strength about her. Aubrey remembered Ash Night's describing him as having the same kind of aura while he had been human, but he had seen it in very few others. Risika had been one of the exceptions; that strength had drawn Aubrey to her before she had ever caught Ather's eye.

And you can read these two excerpts from Black Flame on the Nyeusigrube-haven blog, which archives quotes, fanart, clips, and words of god about The Den of Shadows series. I’ll reblog them later just so I have a copy on hand.

From a blog post of ahar’s entitled Perspectives from 9/3/15:

“When it comes to Aubrey's and Risika's complex relationship, In the Forests of the Night is only half the story. Someday, I would love to release a revised and extended version that includes Aubrey's point of view in addition to Risika's. Here are a few details it might include:

Pandora had claimed Alexander as a student; he had attacked Ather, and she had decided to retaliate by killing Alexander's sister Rachel. Why didn't she? Who do you think convinced her it would be better to change Rachel into a vampire instead of killing her?

After her change, when Risika was weak due to her refusal to feed, who convinced her that she needed to hunt?

Who finally baited her into fighting him, proving her strength and taking her rightful place as a force to be reckoned with among her own kind?

Aubrey has been around a couple thousand years. Do you think it's more likely he's stupid, or more likely that he's manipulative? Rachel never wanted to be a vampire, and maybe would have preferred death at Ather's hands back in 1704 (Did I get that date right? I don't have the text in front of me) but long-story-short: Aubrey saw her first, had his options limited by Ather's bloodclaim... and didn't want Rachel dead.

Try rereading In the Forests of the Night sometime with this point of view.”

And most recently (3/2/20, to be exact), ahar posted some more details in the Nyeusigrube discord server (in the Den Of Shadows channel) under the username Nesrerai (Note that I made some formatting edits to make it more readable. No edits to the content have been made).:

“Someday I'd love to rewrite an "extended edition" of In the Forests of the Night showing more of the back-story. I wrote some of it out in an Aubrey background/POV book that was TERRIBLE and shall never see the light of day but was good for author-knowledge.

Key event relevant to this conversation was that Alexander attacked Ather. Ather couldn't kill him because he was Pandora's, but that didn't protect Rachel, so she planned to go after Rachel in retaliation. Aubrey encouraged her to change her instead, as a more effective form of punishment for Alexander, because he didn't want Rachel killed. Aubrey is more powerful than Ather, but she had blood claim on the family so he had to go manipulative instead of direct.

He was tracking Rachel before Ather got involved. He has a sorcery background, and has an interest in the powerful but untrained. Also, she's Jager's lover's daughter, so he was keeping an eye out. If I recall my notes/drafts right, he was more or less at the "I wonder whether it's more trouble with Jager and Lila than it's worth if I mess with this family" stage. Keeping the kids safe was kiiiiiiind of part of the deal that kept Lila in line ... which is why Mayhem burned down shortly after Rachel was first there... which in turn put Mayhem/Silver's line in a vulnerable position while they were trying to gain power, so they hired a spoiler to knock Midnight down a peg.”

Findings To avoid redundancies, I’ll list out all of the findings and then cite the specific sources in brackets:

Aubrey has a very different version of how ITFOTN went down (i.e., he did not see himself as Risika’s antagonist). [BF; blog]

Aubrey was a sorcerer when he was a human, so he’s always had an interest in those who were very powerful but untrained -> he was drawn to Risika because he saw a rare aura of strength around her, one that he himself had as a human. [DIMV; discord]

Risika had initially caught Aubrey’s attention and he had been tracking her well before Ather ever got involved. [DIMV; BF; blog; discord]

Ather initially wanted to kill Rachel, but Aubrey was the one who convinced Ather to change her into a vampire instead. [BF; blog; discord]

Aubrey was trying to help Risika all along [blog]

Aubrey manipulated Risika into drinking from her stepmother in order to show her that she needs to hunt/feed regularly.[blog]

He got frustrated when he pushed her down and she didn’t get up right away. [ITFOTN]

Aubrey purposefully provoked Risika into fighting him (in public) with the intention of getting her to prove her strength and take her rightful place as a force to be reckoned with among their kind. [blog]

Aubrey was considering changing Risika himself (among other options that didn’t involve her dying) [BF; blog (implied)]

Aubrey didn’t want Risika dead [BF; blog; discord]

Aubrey saw it as a plus that Ather would take the blame for changing Risika. [BF]

Aubrey knew that Alexander was still alive and actively conspired with Pandora to keep the twins apart so that Alexander wouldn’t interfere. [BF]

Aubrey argued with Alexander when he came looking for Risika, meaning that up to present day, he was still trying to keep them apart. [ITFOTN]

*It’s also worth noting that in a facebook video, ahar confirms that Aubrey has a lot of respect for Risika

There are also some other findings in the discord post re:Lila Light, but that’s tangential and I’ll be covering those in a separate post.

Questions Basically, Aubrey was drawn to Risika for reasons unrelated to the situation with Ather (namely, her strength). He’s heavily invested in Risika’s survival to the point where he was actively manipulating the situation both in the initial stage of having Ather change her instead of kill her, and then later on in trying to help her. Not only did he want Risika to survive, he also wanted her to ‘take her rightful place as a force to be reckoned with among her own kind’.

But we’re left with the overall question- what was Aubrey’s endgame? This effort was clearly very calculated, time consuming, and required a lot of effort and attention (I mean, how did he seem to always know where to find her? And how did he know she hadn’t been feeding regularly?). So how did Aubrey see any of this benefiting him?

So we know that Aubrey was drawn to Risika’s strength/power/potential, but to what end? Based on the blog post, Aubrey was considering a few different options for Risika before Ather’s bloodclaim forced his hand. What were those options? We know he was considering changing her himself, but again, to what end? Was she meant to be part of some larger plan he had? Clearly, she was important enough for him to go out of his way to manipulate Ather into not killing her.

Possible Explanations The least exciting explanation, I think, would be that Aubrey wanted to sire a strong fledgeling...for the clout? I mean, it happens! Ather does it, but she does it out of necessity- Aubrey doesn’t need strong fledgelings to protect him or scare off his enemies. And the fact that he saw having Ather change Risika as a preferable result implies that he just wanted Risika to be changed regardless of whether it was by him or not. Which is also interesting.

Another explanation could be that Aubrey planned to use Risika’s powers (or her potential powers) for his own personal gain. This seems very unlikely. I can’t picture a plausible scenario for this and even if this were the case, it doesn’t make sense that he would keep treating Risika the way that he does, knowing that it alienates her. I also find it hard to believe that he’d wait three centuries for her to come around rather than move on to other targets.

Additionally, Aubrey was setting Risika up to ‘take her rightful place as a force to be reckoned with among her own kind’...and that would effectively set her up as his competition, which is the exact opposite of his goal if we were to go with this possibility.

A similar but slightly more plausible explanation is that Aubrey was ‘recruiting’ on behalf of Silver’s line. We know that Mayhem at the time was in an intense rivalry with Midnight, so they’d probably be in need of strong fledgelings. Word of God has also mentioned that Silver’s line is one of the least prolific because they are serious about only siring the strongest. It tracks that Aubrey came across Risika and her unusual strength/power, and saw that she was the perfect candidate. That could be why he was not only ok with Ather changing her (rather than him doing it himself), but he also took responsibility for Risika survival and ‘education’ after she was changed. Maybe he wanted Risika changed no matter the cost because they couldn’t afford any lines loyal to Midnight getting to her first.

But if this were the case, why was Aubrey the only one looking out for Risika? Why would he still try to convince her to prove herself centuries after? And if siring and training new powerful fledgelings who would fight for Silver’s line was a priority at the time, why were there no other fledglings during this time period? Generally, this just seems like a very flawed and inefficient plan. Training fledgelings takes time and energy that could be better used to fight Midnight directly and, as we see in Risika’s case, their loyalty isn’t even guaranteed.

Conclusion This may seem like a cop out...but I feel like in this case, we’ll have to go Occam's razor. The answer that seems the least complicated- so uncomplicated that I haven’t even mentioned it until now- is that Aubrey feels some type of affection for Risika.

This might not necessarily be romantic or anything like that (though that’s definitely a possibility). It could just be that he recognizes some of himself in her and feels a sense of kinship, but it’s obvious that Aubrey cares a lot about what happens to Risika. He wants her to succeed and repeatedly goes out of his way to keep tabs on her and help her even if it inconveniences him, even if it puts his own status at risk (I don’t think he planned on losing the fight, but he must’ve known that in order for her to come out of it looking good, he would’ve to win by a much smaller margin than normal for him). He didn’t care if she hated him and never realized that this was all to help her, it was more important to him that she survived and thrived. And he was willing to do all this over the span of centuries.

The big counter-argument for this is that in ITFOTN, Aubrey does say “Remember this, Risika—I have no love for you. I think you are weak, and I don't care about your morals. If you challenge me again, you will lose.” But for me, his actions speak louder than words, and it makes sense that because he’s trying to get her to be tougher and to fight back so that she could survive, he’s not going to be gentle with her or let her expect help from him. And, I mean, he could’ve killed her right then and there if he wanted to, but he actually let her get away with a lot (she called him a lap dog, slapped him, spat on him, broke his knee cap, and lived to tell the tale).

Anyway, the beauty of this explanation is that it would be really interesting to explore, but won’t get too convoluted. I think it would be really interesting to go deeper into:

Possible parallels between Aubrey and Risika.

The dramatic irony of Aubrey’s well-intentioned efforts contrasted with Risika’s perception of them.

Aubrey as a foil for Alexander and a rival for influence over Risika (and how Risika breaks free from both of them in the end).

Aubrey’s feelings regarding how terribly received his ‘help’ has been and why he keeps choosing to help her regardless.

How it’s also kind of messed up that Aubrey decided that he knew what was best for her and mercilessly imposed that on her despite her clear lack of consent (or knowledge).

The nature of Aubrey’s affection for Risika, how it compares to Alexander’s, and if/how it has evolved.

This is probably beyond the scope of this rewrite, but I’d also be interested in some sort of ‘deleted scene’ type epilogue where Aubrey and Risika (post-fight) have a real conversation/confrontation about all this.

[extreme-close-up-woooaah]

breakfast club headcanons V

andrew - first things first i think that we can all agree that this man is in fact a jean cuffer, he’s a bi man - he had braces from 7th grade to junior year and gets very embarrassed of  precious old photos of younger him - okay so, i need to elaborate on this boys family life, it’s insane - this boy is brothers with the kid in the police office in ferris buellers day off (his name is garth volbeck) and they have a sister named judy because garth mentions her - yes i did this because they are brothers irl and have different last names irl (but for different reasons)  - and their parents divorced a year before the breakfast club so their mother (a very sweet lady who loves her kids no matter what and respects them, she can also bake and she taught andrew to respect woman) she already moved out into another house in another neighborhood - so andrew lives with his dad sadly, and has a hard time escaping it all, garth is in between everything and judy lives with their mother by choice because of obvious reasons - okay hopefully ya’ll understand that :) - next things next this man (even out of my au) grows up to be a librarian - the story to how that happened is kind of upsetting, i don’t want anyone to feel in any way triggered or upset by this so... T W: don’t read if sensitive to stuff like verbal abuse - after highschool he got into a college for wrestling and did his thing and then after that he got onto the wrestling team his dad coaches - andrew had joined but it had drained him, his mental health was deteriorating to say the least - eventually he started to feel pain in his knee but his father kept pushing him and pushing him until he couldn’t take it anymore - he knee gave out  - i’m not educated enough to say why but all i know is that he couldn’t wrestle anymore and was useless in his fathers eyes - his father said very mean things to him and left him at a telephone booth with very little money, enough to get a burger at a mcdonalds, he called garth - asked him to take him to the hospital, he was shaky on the phone but his brother understood and came to pick him up - the ride was completely silent and understandably so, but andrew ended up crying in the passenger seat, he was kind of cold too  T W over: enjoy the rest :) - uh soooo ONCE AGAIN i am NOT educated enough to say what happened to his knee but he ended up having some chronic knee thing and it was only going to get worse and he needed a knee brace for it  - he ends up staying at garth and his boyfriends house (sorry to anyone who thinks brian should just be on his own, me and my bf ship brian and garth like a couple of dorks U-U so please do ignore it if you don’t like it or think of them as roommates :>)  - he ended up getting a job at the local library and he was pretty good at it, this library in particular was very safe and a tame - perfect, so he ended up getting the money from it and a small loan from his brother and getting his own apartment eventually  - he built his life back up and he’d end up in a comfortable house with a cat and perhaps a husband or wife A H E M bENDer - okay now on to the good stuff, lead your mind back to kindergarten - when he was younger he liked the colors pink and purple and he likes blue omg bi pride  but he ended up getting scolded for it from his dad so he vowed his whole life to hate those three things because he thought this was the normal way to live - which would explain why he’d say he hates cats but then meet one or even own one and get crazy attached to it and even name it - him and his brother wrestled around a lot but when it came to their sister they’d never hurt her, she (age: 3) was BRUTAL to them, they all look back and laugh on it later - he’s a middle child but oddly he crushes the idea of middle child syndrome because he gets too much unwanted attention from his dad, garth is two years older, his sister is three years under - in middle school he was kinda awkward and even in highschool wasn’t the most popular kid, he was good at wrestling and considered to be the best of them but girls liked the louder ones better, he’s kind of quiet - he’s got “terrible taste” in clothes according to the entirety of the breakfast club, he dresses like an old man when he’s older, but like an ancient man like me  like full on plaid pants blue shirt tan cardigan kinda thingy - when he’s younger he stays sporty on days where he has a meet but some days my man wears a yucky polo and plaid pants and a big belt once again some ugly old man stuff that i’d wear - he’s a door mat, push over, he cannot say no and that’s one of his main issues NOT PROJECTION but like me 😎 - he’s extremely polite and tries his best at being nice and respectful toward everyone but when it comes to standing up for himself in particular against people who aren’t specifically bender, he’s lost and kinda just ignores it and lets it happen - bender finally gets him to snap cause andrew wouldn’t let anyone hurt his friends or even just a person in general - he’s a little on edge for the rest of his time in detention - ya’ll okay sorry bout this, but the breakfast club is just a group of stuffed animal hoarders, he’s got a regular old teddy bear at his MOMS house so it’s safe :) - lil spoon  - cozy man wears sweaters - OH he’s super short, not a headcanon, HECK its not projection, i just enjoy the fact that he’s short and blonde like meee :} lets appreciate the tiny boy shall we? - his letterman is a size too big because he was told he’d grow into it, he is cozy - he’s at his happiest when he’s a. with his friends b. on a chair with a cat or c. outside in autumn time  - bender makes andrew a small angry bi whenever he’s around, andrew has a lot of pent up anger and he’s a little uptight and bender shakes him loose and gets him annoyed and then continues to baby voice him about how much he loves him in a funny sorta way, mostly when they were younger - andy and allison are super close and tell each other almost everything, they have coffee together and talk about how everything is every now and then, more often when they’re older - benders strong so he’ll give everyone piggy backs, usually he surprise attacks andy tho and picks him up, or if they walk home all together after school, whoevers tired, if its andrew he’ll be gentle in that circumstance - brian and andrew like books, one grows up to be an author and the other a librarian, and once andy discovers his book in his library he smiles and checks it out to read - claire and andy are closer when they’re older, they talk about their shared experiences as a kid and how they ended up where they are and they talk about how lucky they are compared to others - when they were younger claire used to try and show the boys style, bender is already a fashionista but claire picks out some cool ties for him with wacky designs on them, he wears those to work when he’s older - brian enjoys it but only to buy a pair of new shoes, perhaps some loafers and a cool button up - claire has to pick out clothes for andy because andy doesn’t know what he likes quite yet, claire ends up teaching him how to cuff his jeans and :)))))) okay i’ll stop - around christmas, andrew gets the worst gifts, he tries so so hard but he can never seem to get it right, bender gets a kick out of it :}  - in the au they have a cat named mr.ravioli because bender made raviolis and the cat began to feast on them without them knowing so they decided that’d be his name i’ll stop here but it’s not the last part of this series of headcanons, i will write more, some future ones being for all of them together, and then a fbdo bttf pretty in pink cross over where all the cool kidz hang together!! sorry this was so long ;<; i didn’t mean to absolutely pour out my heart but i love andrew and he deserves some headcanons :} i hope their not too bad ;w;

[lonespektr]

Oh i forgot she saw the woman kill the bird and that made her even more set against it on top of her mother's suicide

Red is a total lesbian and doesn't even know it she's already accepted men are just a flight of fancy a distraction and she will grow old with her sister

Damn at least red cut the meat of her hand shallowly and not slash through the tendons like every other dumb ass film

Rather denotes a lack of courage

Bullocks head was too big for her body back then

This kiss this kiss

It was so pg13 they just implied all the death the truck, They don't even say suicide they just imply it heavily

I really like her voice I think

I love that the book of spells is a scrap book of cobbled together spells

I just realized the kids never really displayed grief, kind of an oversight

But again the only ethnic coded person is - still white but the evil bf "balgarian"

They had such great chemistry

The writing was good because the sisters has a shorthand which limited all the exposition

Bullock in flannel and long johns is a lewk

She's so pretty is not even the word just magnetic and homey

I wished they switched the roles and had the brown hair be the wild one and red be chill

She was still largely focused on a man

And red had problems with a man that started it

The nudity is entirely optional

The writing was economical in places

I liked it

You were always on my mind

What's a little necoromancy

They weren't actually taking it seriously

And they obvs didn't do it properly

Not on my life i bury a dead ain't shit motherfuka on my property

Right cause they won't find out

I love that house the old vines

Specifically said no dancing naked

The 90's so much smoking

Midnight magaritas

This was an intense drinking night

Oh yea they just booked

It was weird they left before knowing what the situation was

Smoking around the kids

They did switch the kids in that natural gifts manifested in the lil red first

In a very penal code sort of way

Um why do you have her fucking letter?

It's that supposed to be a gotcha the couldn't say it was his car

I don't know <- that was the funniest part

They shook his hand and then he died, very Mysterious

He has two blue eyes presently

The glasses iconic

He was about to show that lil girl his gun

When she realized she literally couldn't lie

Not in this house

Couple of times

They just threw everything bad in the sink

They changed her hair to look like the ancestor

Yea she killed them both times

I wonder did they do that on purpose cause it reverted right back afterwards

Was the implication that he became that man because she loved him

Always an odd choice with the possession like that

I love that he just stares at it, like did you guys bless my badge when i wasn't looking???

Dude was just straight up idgaf about the spell or the fact that u killed a shitty dude not really

I wished for you to a line not delivered very well hes got the voice but it was sandras reaction that sold it

Like a toad

Hey phone tree i'm a witch

Sally just came out!!!!!!

What a fabulous affirmation

Iconic candle scene, legend

Now is not the time to be shy

Gossip woman who hates them is not a fan of men who ain't shit

Are we supposed to say this?

That was a bad cut, all the brooms were suddenly on the floor

Not true, she still deluding herself he doesn't only want her he's killed other woman, he would keep killing in her body

Who did the score?

Composer Michael Nyman's score to the movie was abruptly replaced with music by Alan Silvestri for the theatrical release. This last-minute change resulted in the ...

I don't think he's in there sal

Yea a woc practical magic that was not about men. To be fair this was technically about men but as much as possible about the sisters

Yea i'm convinced now his eyes are permenanlty diff colors whereas they weren't before, they kept changing.

[szopenhauer]

Have you ever tried to walk on a moving vehicle and fallen over?: I didn’t fall When was the last time you were a passenger in a car and sat in the back?: I always sit in the back

What is the longest your hair has ever been?: to my butt Who does the grocery shopping in your household?: we all do but me and dad most often What is the best thing you’ve ever bought at a thrift shop?: I bought so many things! Have you ever been pulled aside by security at the airport?: not applicable Do you watch The Simpsons regularly?: I don’t but I like this show anyway :) Did you ever go to summer camp when you were younger?: twice Do you know anyone who is fluent in a second tongue?: me Have you ever been pressured into doing drugs? Did you say yes or no?: I said no

When you were younger, did you have a swing set or a playhouse in your backyard? had a swing Do you burn incense? I heard it causes cancer :(

Does being in love make you nervous? yep Have you ever been so quiet that nobody noticed that you were there? from what I remember Did you ever stop having feelings for someone and then started having those feelings again for them? yeah Do you stay home when you are sick or do you still go out? stay home What’s your relationship with the person you last texted? we’re datinh Have you had more than 3 gfs at the same time? nooo Are you in a good mood right now? sigh... Have you kissed someone with braces? I have XD Who’s your favorite redhead? real, celeb or character?

How do you feel about being in the house alone? cool When was the last time you burnt your mouth from eating something too hot? it happens often as I don’t feel it being hot most of the time :( Do you prefer instrumental songs or ones with lyrics? lyrics Do you have any old friends who you still kinda speak to but it’s awkward? sigh...  When was the last time you used a quote from a movie in real life? today? Do you forget things easily? depends/some

Would/Do you like having brown eyes? maybe Do you spend a lot of time on the internet? too much Have you bought anyone a Christmas gift? not yet

What is one of your favorite compliments to recieve? compliments are awkward :x Do you compliment other random people? rarely What do you use Facebook for? texting mostly Do you love cartoons? some are nice Do you paint your own nails? I did

Describe your style in one word. comfy Describe your current personality in one or two words. complicated Are you afraid of child birth/pregnancy? it’s one of the reasons why I don’t want any kids What are you favorite bottoms to wear? leggings or pajama pants Do you like dresses? not really Do you eat cake with a spoon or a fork? tiny fork but spoon is fine as well What is your favorite sex position? ;) I'm not a fan of sex What color will you paint your nails next? black if any Are you afraid of ghosts/hauntings? kinda What is your favorite game to play with family/friends? board games and/or car racing games with dad What is your beer of choice? I don’t drink beer Do you like glitter? could say so Have you ever owned a Ouija board? hell no Do you like to text? it seems If you had to be an animal for Halloween, what would it be? bat, cat or wolf (eventually a raccoon but it’s not a Halloween related animal) Do you have more dry skin or oily skin? mixed

Name something that starts with the first letter of your first name. zoo Name something that starts with the first letter of your middle name? - And your lastname. chicken Would you spend 20 dollars on a candle? no way What is the goriest thing you’ve seen in real life? hmm... Twilight or Harry Potter? HP Would you rather be a vampire or a mermaid? vampire P.E or Math? Math or Science? dunno What do you do when someone is really rude to you in public? hard to tell Do you argue with your significant other a lot? we don’t argue  Have you ever had a really painful breakup? they were painful to me What do you like to write with? my hands lmfao Do you prefer to be pale or tan? Don’t say in between. pale What is your favorite thing about Christmas? decorations and gifts but also spending time with my parents Do you prefer white or black electronics? black A stranger comes up to you and gives you a big hug, what do you do? :o Do your eyes tear up when you’re nervous? might Apples or Bananas? apples Water or Milk? water Would you milk a cow given the chance? it’s weird Where do you shop for your underwear? I don’t have a fav place to do that

Do you feel more comfortable sleeping in your own bed or in a hotel bed? my own 

Do you prefer to travel by plane, car, or boat? car

Who is your favorite travel buddy? dad

What’s the best souvenir you have ever purchased? can’t choose

What’s your favorite book to read during a long ride? I don’t read while travelling

What’s the most entertaining story you have about getting lost? me and my father been talking so loud that someone on the street just stopped by and told us where the place we’re looking for is ^^”

What was the most expensive trip you have ever taken? ask my family

Which songs are on your travel playlist? whatever

Which travel blogs do you follow? none

Do you complain when you are bored, or look for something to do? I’m never bored so I don’t complain about it

Do other people’s complaints ever get on your nerves? some/depends

How did you develop your specific taste in music? can’t explain that 

If you drink coffee, how do you like it (with cream, black, etc)? I don’t drink coffee

Did your parents sign you up for things like piano lessons and ballet? no and now I’m a loser

What is your favorite children’s song? Kokoszeczka

Are you good at telling jokes? I am

Other than gas, what do you frequently purchase at a gas station? I don’t purchase anything there

Ten years ago, did you think that this was how the world would turn out? ...

Ever think you might be better off living in a different time period? yup

Do you walk regularly? not regularly but often

If you could have the answer to one question, what question would that be? personal

Do you like any bands from other countries? obvi, most of those I like aren’t from Poland, I don’t like polish music 

When was the last time you mailed a handwritten letter? years ago

Do you still receive Christmas cards? my mom does

Do you know anyone who is really hard to please? sadly

What gets you through the day? I wonder myself

If you found out your bf/gf was homosexual, how would you react? I know she is - elseway we wouldn’t date (ok, she could be bi, I know)

If you are homosexual, and you find out your bf/gf is straight, then what? we break up 

Have you ever sung karaoke? What songs? Was it fun? it was Ich troje song *embarassed*

Have you called anyone today? What did you talk about? not today

Do you drive around the neighborhood to look at lights around Xmas? I like to look but I don’t ride around just for that

Why are so many single people bitter on Valentine’s Day? because they’re lonely and because this day is fake 

What is one tradition you hate participating in? personal

Have you made a fool of yourself today? probably

When was the last time you did something for someone else? recently

Do you let other people choose the radio stations in your car? but I don’t have a car 

Would you say that you are an accepting and openminded person? am not

Have you ever been convinced to try something you didn’t want to do? I have been

When was the last time you cheated–at anything? last time I used motherlode in The sims 4 game?

When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? depends

When was the last time you felt you had a reality check? blergh

Have you ever felt out of touch with reality? dissociation, derealisation, depersonalisation etc.

Have you ever had a tooth pulled? not since I was a kid

How long do you you usually chew a stick of gum? didn’t check the timing

Was there any teacher that made life living hell for you? it wasn’t THAT bad but it wasn’t good 

How about any student(s)? I’ve been bullied if it’s what you’re asking me about - still could be much worse

When was the last time you felt overwhelmed? 24/7

Do you have any coffee mugs with funny pictures/sayings? Did I just rolled my eyes out loud 

Describe something strange that you own? where should I start...

Do you think graffiti is a valid form of artistic expression? I don’t approve of it when it vandalizes property

Are you afraid to walk places at night if you are alone? I’m a petite woman so...

What do you think of people who are shy? hard to keep contact with them

Have you ever gone through a time when you had no friends? How did you deal with it? not counting my family - last several years - I was ok with it as I’m a loner, homebody, introvert

What is something that shouldn’t bother you, but does anyway? fuck off!

Has any food ever made you sick to the point where you’d be afraid to try it again? that happened more than once already

Can you hear traffic right now? I don’t hear anything :3

Have you taken a painkiller today? no

Have you had a nap today? neither

Are you currently in a relationship? If so, do you think it will last? don’t feed my paranoia...

Do you have a hyphenate name or know anyone with one? (eg. Carter-Brown) my sister

Do you take your Christmas decorations down before or after New Years? after

Have you made a large purchase today? I didn’t buy anything today, it’s Sunday

Have you ever used a leaf blower? we don’t own one, we’re not rich

You see someone running around naked in the street. Your reaction? if it’s neighbor’s kid that’s no surprise

Has someone close to you died of murder? no one close to me but still a family member of some sort

Would you ever have sex with the last person you texted? done

Do you abbreviate when you text? that’s lazy of me, I know

Is anyone in the room on the phone right now? I’m playing a game