#and a place where I can put my books
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I’m gonna reorganise my book shelf (which is also my bed) after I get my books for my birthday and I’m trying to think of way to set them up in a satisfying way
This is roughly how my bed looks but there’s another half in the middle for more support and wooden slabs to hold the mattress up
#hiro talks! ♡#I did Infact want the Pinterest bed yes#but I like it mostly because I have a little gift hole underneath#and a place where I can put my books#and my Lego#and my other stuff
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Noodles and Tea’s work inspired me fr
#phineas and ferb#gravity falls#perry the platypus#bill cipher#crossover#heinz doofenshmirtz#major monogram#great googly moogly#And at this one stand there was this forest service guy#and he was selling these really amazing muffins#they had Dunkleberries and EVERYTHING they looked delicious but they had nuts in them so I didn’t buy them#(I’m not allergic or anything I just think that there is a time and a place where you don’t put nuts in food#like seriously this thing was STUFFED with pecans and I was like that’s gonna ruin the flavor! Pecan…. that’s a really weird word you know#like try saying it out loud a couple times. Pecan.. peCHAAANs. Pea-can. hm. hm.#anyway)#but this guy had some other really random junk lying around so I decided to take a look and I actually found something really msyerious!#there was this book with a big ‘2’ on it and I couldn’t find the other ones so I was like hey where’s the rest of these and he was like#we already sold them off and I was like WHAT that’s so crazy#like if you’re gonna sell a set of books#WHY would you sell each one separately cuz that would really suck to just like#start in the middle of a series or get hooked and never be able to continue it#and I was pretty wary anyways cuz it looked so CRYPTIC and WEIRD#but he said he’d give it to me for 92 cents and baby that’s a STEAL#couldn’t NOT take it#I mean it sat around on my desk for months and I mainly just used it as a paperweight until one night#they stopped broadcasting America’s Got Talent on my channel and out of SPITE I decided to find a way to defy American Tradition#and read a book#….what? ohhhh you though I was gonna build an inator over this#no at the time I was already working on a Tuesday Inator that would force every Calendar in the Tri-State area to always have every day#as Tuesday so I could ALWAYS have a discount on tacos! do you know how OVERPRICED those things are when they’re not on Tuesday?
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I love ggy so much how did they accidentally make the most intriguing hypothetical gay romance ever
#also the book is just so fucking good#and tony becker is literally the best fnaf book protaganist ever once you understand his character#and how crazy the book writes him#like oh my god hes so tunnel visioned doomed by the narritave#any scenario where tony survives the attack is the best idea ever like fr#its just so fun and awesome to make stuff up with that very loose premise#like u can do anything#and the characters are likeable too because they have FLAWS#tony isnt a bad person hes just in a bad place and is an asshole without realizing#and also twelve#like how am i not supposed to become obsessed with beckory when tony spent the whole book#accidentally obsessing over gregorys evil side and then being so tunnel visioned by his own emotional baggage that it kills him#exactly how his father warned him#and his father is the reason hes even so deep into solving mysteries like#and u can put that onto gregory if tony ever survived the attack#like he wouldnt want to believe it the same way he didndt want to believe his dad did it and repeat history#by delving deep into ggy#like damn every relationship ever with gregory is so fucking interesting#ggy never stop being awesome#pandas.txt#obviously beckory isnt the only reason i like ggy but damn its a big reason#tony and Gregory are both so flawed and have so much going on in their head theyd be fucking crazy together#also expanding on the tony stuff i said earlier gregorys side has so much potential too like#even if tony died if gregory ever remembered hed mourn tony and have to deal with that#even if they werent even that close at the time and Gregory doesnt even like. actually have any memories of being friends with him#and if tony survived its like gregorys remembering this faceless nameless boy as the only connection to his past#like what if they both searched for eachother after surviving what then
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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okay. @evil-eyedlurker lets try this again since tumblr ate my last draft.
Part 1: Setting the Stage.
Before we begin, I'd like to recommend reading the book for yourself. There's a free copy here on archive.org. I'd also like to point to my previous post for some context if anyone reading this post is new here. You may also want to watch Dual Process Theory's take, as I agree with pretty much all of their arguments.
You have the appropriate context for this? Good.
Now then.
Within the logbook, there are three known writers: Red Pen, aka Michael Afton; Faded Text, aka Charlie Emily; and Altered Text, aka CC/Cassidy Afton.
There are also, however, three identifiable names: Mike, Cassidy, and Dave. Popular fanon will tell you that "Cassidy" is Faded, as well as being the Vengeful Spirit and the second Golden Freddy spirit. It will now also tell you that CC's name is Dave, previously mstaken to be Evan.
I am here to tell you that popular fanon is, as popular fanon tends to be, wildly off the mark.
As per my last post, I dismissed Cassidy as a little girl for two reasons: firstly, that she has no narrative significance before whenever the logbook takes place, and secondly, because Faded asks too many specific questions to be a stranger. The logbook came out after Pizzeria Sim, and introducing Cassidy as such an important character this late in the story is nonsensical.
But...my theory leaves out Dave. Who is Dave?
Put a pin in that for now. We'll get there. For now, let's talk about Michael Afton.
Part 2: Why?
In my last theory post, linked above, I asked a question that I found to be forgotten: why? Why does faded ask such specific questions? Why is there so much puppet symbolism? Why would CC know the name Cassidy? Why are there so many tidbits that never get mentioned?
I have some new ones today: Why is Mike here? Why are Charlie and Cassidy in his book? Why is the name Dave important?
For simplicity's sake, we'll start with why Charlie and CC are talking. Based on the imagery of the Puppet and birthdays on pages 31 and 98, as well as "The party was for you" (103), it's most likely to set up the Happiest Day, placing this before...whenever that happens. Before Pizzeria Sim, at least.
(Fig. 1: The Puppet/Happiest Day symbolism.)
So...if that's the goal, why is Mike important? Sure, he helps spell Cassidy's name, but only the last couple letters. And of all the available grids, "Dave" is spelt in the Foxy grid. The one animatronic that is associated with Mike.
(Fig. 2: Available grids.)
To me, this implies the name Dave is important for Michael to remember. But why?
...Why would Michael need to remember anything? Surely he remembers, right? I mean, he references the Nightmares and casual bongos and exotic butters and the Bite. Surely, surely that means he remembers!
(Fig. 3: Michael's references.)
Reread all his answers again, all throughout the book, knowing this takes place after Sister Location, during the time he's hunting down his father. Tell me what's missing. (Or you can trust me to tell you, I suppose.)
Mentions of his family, right?
In fact, he's not even the one to bring up the Bite. The logbook brings it up for him; he just responds to it.
Throughout the book, Mike is unresponsive and noncommittal. His doodles exist in the corners and margins, he rarely responds to either the book or Faded's questions directly, he even crosses out his own name. The only thing he repeatedly emphasizes throughtout the book is SURVIVAL. In all caps, SURVIVAL. CERTAIN DEATH.
(Fig. 4: Michael's scribblings as per the previous paragraph.)
Interestingly, he commonly writes about leaving leaving. Such as running away, locking up the animatronics, going on vacation, or dying. This directly contrasts his established desire to find his father, which implies he hasn't gotten that motivation yet.
Michael has been scooped by the time the Logbook happens. Michael, like most spirits, forgot. Forgot less than Cassidy and perhaps the MCI, for whatever reason, but forgot nonetheless.
And Charlie is here to help him remember, the same way she's helping Cassidy remember.
Specifically, she wants him to remember the name Dave, spelled out via the coordinates of the answered questions. The first one of which is answered by Michael, long before Cassidy says "I'm scared" as a potential alternate answer.
Part Three: Fandom Really Needs to Learn to Re-examine Fundamentals.
Take that pin out of "Who's Dave" and "Why is Dave important" from earlier, because it's time to answer those questions.
Okay. So, we've established a few things.
Dave is not one of the spirits in the logbook.
Charlie is pushing for Michael to remember the name Dave.
Michael has lost his memory, and has yet to gain the motive of finding his father.
If all of this is true, "Dave" must be connected to Michael's motivation: finding his father.
But we already know his name! William Afton, as established in...in......uh.........which game was it again? Sorry, hold on, let me just check my sources...*shuffling papers*...oh! Here we go! William Afton's name was established in the novels...and...and for the entirety of The Silver Eyes, he's referred to almost exclusively by his alias, Dave. To my knowledge, his first name is never confirmed in the games.
...What if we've been wrong in accepting that his name is William Afton? What if he is Dave, and it's not just an alias?
Allow me, once more, to set the scene.
Part Four: FNaF is a story. Let's treat it as such.
The date is [REDACTED], just after Michael's scooping. His corpse gets up without him, shambling around with metal for bones and vague remnants of children's souls for a pilot.
Michael himself is stuck in a security logbook; a paltry little thing given to him by his employers, like a twisted joke. He writes and crosses out his own name, and doodles in the margins for a bit.
Charlie, ever the attentive soul, joins him, bringing the Crying Child with her. Two brothers, one memory, or something like that. She begins gauging what he remembers: Does he know who he is? How he died?
Michael doesn't respond. He doesn't need to. It's not hard for Charlie to piece together what happened, especially given his shambling corpse ranting and raving about their revenge.
So, she begins to push Michael to remember his killer. She starts with the nightmares (do you have dreams), the first thing he did. She follows up with his resemblance to his father (what do you see), but Michael goes unresponsive, possibly catching on to her game. Ever the stubborn one, that. Instead, CC responds. So she switches gears, roping CC into helping her spell out both names by directing her questions to him, until Michael finally helps spell Cassidy.
Next to the wordsearch where Cassidy remembers is a mirror; one to reflect EVAD (spelled in CC answer order) into DAVE. Two brothers, one memory, as the saying doesn't go.
Michael's corpse lies cold and empty on the ground, Ennard having escaped into a gutter. He can't move on, not yet. There's only one option left for him now.
Michael looks into the mirror.
And his eyes open purple.
.
also it would be really funny if davetrap had an alias in the games timeline and it was william/will miller THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT!
#I REMADE THE FUCKING DAVE POST CHEER AND CLAP#me rereading the logbook every paragraph to cite my silly litle sources#if we REALLY wanna get into it. i think 'charlie' is also book only. so she COULD be named cassidy.#but personally i think the dave parallel works better.#charlie voice i can put the first victim to rest AND have the last one take revenge! its perfect! (unfortunately. The Quencies)#i dont actually know how cassidy gotinto the book. for narrative purposes charlie brought him.#theres no real Evidence either way and it makes sense for charlie to keep him with her until she can put him to rest.#my posts#fnaf theory#fucking love the mirror parallel i saw that in a reddit post and i LOVE IT#ALSO seeing 'dave' in the mirror works REALLY WELL for michael bc hes literally mistaken for his father in SL if i rember right#i also Could address the idea that this book takes place during/after 3 but the imagery for it is so minimal that the idea is nothing to me#like ooo it mentions springlockkks the things that were around for ages! and it has a similar officeeee oooooooooo#like. for all we know! the fnaf3 office is Modeled After The Book. and also mike DOESNT reference ANYTHING in fnaf3#despite everything implying HES the protagonist of it#plus from a narrative standpoint. this book taking place post-scooping pre-3 makes the most Sense. its setup for everything in 3.#also i think 'do u miss them' (pg 70) refers to mikes siblings. but thats not Relevant its just neat#bc! its where the book asks who youd miss if they were to die in an accident such as being stuffed into a suit#and i LOVE the idea that CC was stuffed into golden fred and is the fifth missing kid its. mwah.#fnaf theories
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Thanks for tagging me, @zerokrox-blog !❤️
hardcover or paperback? bookstore or library? bookmark or receipt? stand alone or series? nonfiction or fiction? thriller or fantasy? under 300 pages or over 300 pages? children’s or ya? friends to lovers or enemies to lovers? read in bed or read on the couch? read at night or read in the morning? keep pristine or markup? cracked spine or dog ear?
I tag @princecharmingwinks @smowkie @mistmarauder @fireladybuckley @firemedicdiaz @foreverthemomfriend @katries @imwritesometimes @kiti-the-warrior-poet @guiltypleasurefandomface and anyone else who wants to play. No pressure on anyone who doesn’t.😘
#no preference for bookmark or receipt/bus ticket/whatever scrap paper you have at hand#tbh I generally don’t even bother marking my place as I usually remember where I left off and just flip through the pages ‘til I get there#and I know keep pristine might seem at odds with cracked spine but I can put up with a cracked spine much better than I can dog ears#and i don’t like writing in my books either#I’m okay with finding other people have written in books I buy secondhand but I never write in books myself
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Feel free to skip on past this, I’ve just gotta ramble for a minute bc i cant stop thinking about this kid from work last week. They were so much like me at that age (5-6th grade) that I didn’t know how to interact with them? I didn’t know what to say to them bc I don’t know what I needed to hear back then, what I would’ve WANTED to hear? What would I have even listened to? They were almost entirely silent and looked out at the world with a hesitant curiosity, but would pull back so fast as soon as you tried to interact w them. Little to no eye contact, face hidden in hair, always looking down, following others until they could strike off on their own and just quietly explore. Intently focusing on drawing any chance they got. We did an art project and they hunched over their piece the entire time and wouldn’t let any of us see it in progress, refusing to look up or acknowledge us if we asked to see it or to know what it was. Idk. I barely interacted w them while they were with us for those few days bc I didn’t know how? It almost hurt to try? It was like looking back into a time machine and i didn’t know how to tell them that it does get better,,, I still don’t even know if where I am is better, some days feel so unsure that I don’t think I’ve made any progress at all. But seeing that kid, idk. I’ve come pretty far. And it DOES get better. Maybe it’s not the best now, or even that great at all, but it’s better. I wish I could’ve told them but I don’t think they’d have wanted to hear it anyway
#im a rambling sam#I’m in a weird place again since getting here for this season of work#idk maybe I’ve been in a weird place all year probably#I don’t think I’m that far from where I was at that age but I know I am there’s just still so much further to go#one day I think it’ll feel easier but maybe not today#I do love working w kids but I’m considering going into horticulture instead of outdoor education bc I don’t know if I can handle this#I can#but god I don’t know#in my heart I’m still that exact kid and she’s still in there so damn anxious and unsure and needing to observe the world and everyone in it#just to get some sense of understanding of just what the fuck is going on around here#but by the time I’ve gotten a good handle on what is going on everything is already so set in place and my place is outside the system and I#I don’t know how to step into it#sorry sorry I’m still rambling I’m having a weird day I probably just haven’t eaten nearly enough in the last few days and I’m about to#start teaching on my own this week which is terrifying and I can’t stop thinking abt that damn kid I wish they stayed longer I think#we probably would’ve gotten along#but groups only come here for a couple days and then go home which is v weird after having the same kids for 3 weeks for summer camp#idk life gets better and it gets worse and sometimes u grow into the world a little more but there’s still a mute child in your ribcage#little hands pressed up against ur ribs like laying a palm against a bus window#I put my hand over my sternum as if we could press our hands together thru time#when I was that age I used to pretend to have someone around me like an imaginary friend but usually it was a book character that I liked#and I’d talk to myself in my head like having a conversation and giving myself motivation and assurances from someone else to me#and now I’m here and I still talk to myself like that but without the imagined friend as a buffer I just talk to myself in my head#now I’m the imaginary friend for the little Sam that lives in my chest#when I talk to myself I’m talking to her#I’m giving her the assurance she needed back then#the assurance I still need now#I am here for her so I am here for myself#this is getting poetically nonsensical maybe it’s time for bed
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oh. something ab jensen being worried ab telling bryce he's grayace. worried ab taking their relationship any further bc he thinks bryce will get bored. worried bc everybody else has gotten annoyed w it. worried that bryce will think he's upset or disgusted w him rather than the act itself.
#putting jensen through ittttt <3333#jensen has such a complicated relationship w it in the sense that he can want sex multiple times in one day#and later that same day hed be repulsed by it#doesnt want to even think about it#he never really got deep enough into relationship to get to a place where it was relevant#besides once and then he just forced his way through it and hated it#but bryce is his first long term relationship where it actually needed to be brought up#want to write a fic ab this but i am knee deep in my book rn so i will just bother yall w it here <3#bryce lahela × jensen valentine
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frustrating how so many craft books have a section about "how to sell what you've made"
like on one hand i get it because the person writing the book has obviously made their craft a full-time job. and they might have some tips and tricks that might be useful, and there are people out there who might be trying to start a small business out of it
but on the other hand it's just exhausting and feels like another voice saying "what's the point of having a hobby if you're not going to monetize it"
#the one of those that rly boils my blood. that i still think about all the time. almost ten years later#the art of language invention by david peterson lmao. fuck that. it is NOT actually a helpful resource if youre trying to get into conlang#in the intro he pretty explicitly was like 'yeah i'm only writing this bc the publishing house approached me bc#i made up some languages for the game of thrones show and that's popular so they thought it would sell'#the meat of the book itself is pretty rudimentary stuff iirc. 'here's the ipa chart. this is what a morpheme is.'#some cool stuff in there about how to build your own font and mess with the kerning to make cursive but it was a program i dont have so#and at the end. hoooooo boy. this is where u can tell they told him to put in this kind of section bc he basically straight up said#'if you're reading this because you want to learn how to build a fantasy conlang dont bother :)#if you weren't on this specific forum in 2002 youll never get it. just hire a Real Conlanger instead'#like. that absolutely colored the rest of the book preceding it bc the entire thing was stuff i had literally just learned#in the intro to linguistics class that inspired me to want to learn how to make a language. so it was nothing new#and the added antagonism of basically saying 'if you dont already know how to do this IM not gonna help bc you'd be competition'#again i understand why he had that attitude bc that's probably how the publisher pitched it in the first place#'this is going to be a book for the average joe who knows nothing about language mechanics and might have aspirations#of writing a story with its own language (because obviously gameofthrones was the first to do that /s) and is wondering how to do it'#but just a very weird attitude to have#mine
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thinking abt the ggy easter eggs rn
#im so ready for whateber theyre cooking#this is like the only era rn where the sw games arent interesting me rn im so ready to want to engage again#plz focus on ggy vanny gregory vanessa cassie and not cassie dad mapbot dying absent father doing nothintnfor the story#and a game based totally off of books instead of the other way around#i really hope SW games dont become super tftp oriented#as in they make games based off of books instead of the other way around#that would suck majorly#a ggy game would be new content based off of game lore that does exist for ggy and not the book#like patient 46 and his canonical mysterious past#plus everything the tapes said he did#it could be so good#i really want to just see like. any progression of the story#outside of very basic ideas like 'vanny cassie' that are probably going to happen but are so bare bones#theres not much you can think about#insyead of useless plots like cassies dad. sorry but its true if hes the hw2 story he does nothing#nothing that cassie couldnt have also done if shes the protag#i know that sotm has to happen before they can progress so im being patient#but man#i hope we get more stuff like ruin that has good linear on screen storytelling and is more character oriented#everybody liked ruin but not everyone likes sotm#when hw2 came out i saw soo many opinions not just by me and the moots or something but just#fans on twitter diehard or casual#that hated how hw2s story was handled#people actually want storytelling now at sb and ruins scale instead of old school barely comprehensible frustrating lore#thats what sotm feels like its leaning into and im not excited#i hope its a one time thing since its a good chance to do that#a game that already takes place in the og fnaf days#before it even#of course its a good idea to put old school easter eggs and characters and story and stuff of the og days#i just miss my guys :(
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did i tell you guys about my adventures in searching for a wall shelf to put in my room
#so basically i don't have any shelves and i would like one or two because i have no more space to put things#like books comics dolls monster cans etc#so i've been spending the past few nights (yes home renovation hours start at 11 pm for me) measuring my entire room to find a place that#could fit an ikea shelf#i've decided on the east wall of my room over the corner where i keep my drawing tube and the larger folders#and i should be able to fit two of the eket cabinets from ikea (the ones that are 25 cm in depth because they look better)#but when i go to the physical ikea store i'll ask an employee if that could actually work and if not if they have a better suggestion#i'll show them a picture of the area and the measurements of the space i can take up#my budget is 50 euros for now but i may get more money for xmas so it may go higher#also my dad will have to help me install the shelf because there's no way i can drill a hole in the wall without damaging something in there
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Can someone come sit on my bed while I clean my room pls? Thanks and I love you <3
#my room is very unclean#just because moving is hard#i moved in august so i dont have much of an excuse#actually i do. i had to spend a lot of time saving up for furniture and stuff to put my stuff on#i just recently got a desk. chair. and bookshelf#before that i didnt have any place to unpack my stuff into#plus im just a messy person with severe mental illness#yknow what would really help me get my room together tho?#someone to sit on my bed. while i clean. you can read a book or play on your phone#maybe even someone to help me build my desk because instructions are often bad#a few months ago i built a futon for the apartment. i live with my sibling and another roommate#sibling was working. and im strong and independent so i decided to build it by myself#but my roommate was so nice. and helped me build it. we were both bad at understanding the instructions but together we got it#and she was so sweet the whole time. and it was one of the nicest experiences ive had since i moved#anyway id really like to do that with someone again#just enjoy their presence and do something unimportant with them so we have an excuse to spend time together#im at the terrible point of the year where im crushing on literally everyone. my roommate. a girl i knew for four days and got her number#we text semi-frequently and she might start working at the camp i work at#and also one of my coworkers thats only into guys#my roommate has a gf. the girl i knew for four days lives across the country. and the coworker of course is into men#im falling in love with unattainable people. and i just want to clean while someone sits on my bed. and build a desk with them
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Feeling some buyers remorse for buying 2 shelves yesterday online. But it's getting eclipsed by the excitement of thinking about where I'm gonna put them and rearranging my apartment a little bit
Is this what it's like to be an adult? Lol
#speculation nation#work sucked today but in brighter moments ive just been buzzing in excitement about furniture#i bought some storage shelves and then a bookshelf#im gonna put the storage shelves at the far side of my living room & put as many of my boxes as i can fit on it#removing Box Island from the center of my living room lol#i wanna also sort thru the boxes to figure out what things would be considered permanent storage (archival things)#which would be priority placed on the storage shelves#and then figure out what boxes i would potentially want to unpack in the coming months. to keep in easier to access locations.#yes ive been living here for 2+ years and yes ive only got like half my shit unpacked. such is life.#for my new bookshelf i wanna do a little more rearranging#the cats' fancy litter box is in the little hallway leading into the bathroom#placed there bc it was the easiest to access outlet for the self cleaning litter box#but it's chunky and gets in the way and with the non clumping litter those things are like fucking legos on the floor#crunch crunch crunch under my slippers. id like the litter box more out of the way.#so im gonna put it in the cat area of the living room. rearranging some stuff over there to make it fit.#and then where it is rn in the hallway. im gonna put my new bookshelf.#i dont know what books im gonna put on it yet. probably my less personal books. probably no manga.#im supposed to get a bookshelf from my dad sometime that's bigger than both my current and my new bookshelf#and im gonna put it in my room. clear the space behind my TV. and Theres where i wanna put out all my manga thats been in storage#idk. shelves!!! potential!!!! its all so exciting.#nothing like new furniture to make me feel like im gonna try to get my life back in order.#and Honestly having the living room suddenly so much cleaner has been... nice.#im gonna work on cleaning my room soon. it is Long overdue.
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I guess it's not overly common, or maybe it is and it's just in fiction, because there's plenty of them, and good in depth ones...but I also have always kind of liked or at least had interest for Bangelus I always was bummed there was never another meeting w them. It was something of ATS that didn't make sense since she was all he thought about last time he was out and he even almost ended the world. It was waste that rematch never happened....
I definitely agree, anon. I imagine a lot of it has to do with the legal issues at the time, of course. With Buffy and Angel being on different networks and the networks not really wanting the different characters to appear on each other's shows.
And, perhaps, the writers felt like if they had a Buffy vs. Angelus thing again--even if there would of course be some differences this time--it would be too much like Buffy season two, so instead they had Angelus vs. Faith instead (which I do love).
But it definitely is weird that Angelus didn't seem to mention Buffy much in Angel season 4, when she was all he thought about before. I think the most we get is him calling Buffy "a pistol," (which is a great line), and him calling Dawn and asking if Buffy's there (to figure out if the Slayer in town he's hearing about is Buffy or Faith), right?
To be honest, we can't deny that some of this might also be because season four is where a lot of where the Angel/C*ordelia plot line is. And during that, the show kind of stopped mentioning Buffy (to maybe try and give the illusion that Angel had moved on some, to try and get the audience to stop thinking of the Angel/Buffy pairing, or moreover to get people to not question... "Wait, how is Angel pursuing a relationship when he still has the curse when the whole reason he left Buffy is because he can't have a relationship if he still has the curse?"). So that might also be part of it. But I definitely think it's moreso the first points.
And, I know I'm biased here, of course (though I do still enjoy Angel/C*ordelia some, though Angel/Buffy is my OTP now), but I don't think Angelus really had feelings for C*ordelia (Buffy seems to be the only person that both the man and demon in him loved). Or if he did, it wasn't like what he felt for Buffy. Because if he had, wouldn't they have made him crazy like his feelings for Buffy had? Like, wouldn't he have wanted to destroy her for making him love her, too, if that had been a thing? So I don't think something like "Angelus had feelings for C*ordelia and that's why he didn't really think about Buffy in season four" was a thing.
The closest we probably ever get to seeing Buffy and Angelus ever interact again in canon is the comics (I don't know if you've read those, anon).
In season 8, I feel like Twilight (this other persona of Angel's, who, is, like partly good and partly bad; and also being possessed by his and Buffy's kind-of-evil kid [it's a super long and complicated story)] is kind of Angelus-like to me. But also Angel-like some. And yes, he and Buffy do end up fighting.
And then in season 10, Angelus makes a brief appearance (when his great-grandsire brings him out again) and he jealously attacks Spike in knowing that at the moment Buffy has chosen to be with him instead. And this definitely seems to hint, of course, that Angelus has finally accepted his feelings for Buffy by this point (the Twilight stuff kind of did, too--if you choose to see Twilight as partly Angelus at all--since he was choosing to be with Buffy and trying to create a perfect world with her, where they and everyone they loved could be together).
There's also a part in the tie-in book "Monster Island" (that takes place in early Buffy season 6 and Angel season 3), where Buffy and Angel (and Gunn) are kidnapped by the Big Bad of the book's minions. To try and get them out, Tara casts a spell to get all magical creatures to attack each other (thinking the demons would then turn against each other, and they could just easily swoop in and save Buffy and Angel at that point). But she didn't count on Buffy and Angel also being magical creatures, of course (or even herself being a magical creature), so Buffy and Angel are trying to break from their bonds to kill each other. And Angel is starting to be very Angelus-like (like, Angel even thinks that), though he's trying to fight it.
...This reply is all over the place. And I don't know if it makes much sense. Sorry about that! But like you, I do kind of wish that we'd gotten more Bangelus in canon! Like, it's cool that in the comics it seems that Angelus has undergone some sort of journey offscreen and accepted his love for Buffy, but I wish we had seen that onscreen somewhere.
But oh well. I guess that's what fanfiction is for:)
Thanks for the ask!
Edit: There's also more Buffy and Angelus in the book "Night Terrors," a Buffy Choose Your Own Adventure book. But if you get on the path where Angelus shows up, it's sort of an alternate canon to Buffy season two, as he shows up earlier there than he did in season two (before he and Buffy make love, etc.).
Angelus is also in the book "One Thing or Your Mother," and the classic comic "Ring of Fire," but they're more missing moments/episodes from season two, than Angelus showing up in a later season and seeing Buffy again or anything like that. I do highly recommend both, however, since you're a Bangelus fan. Especially "One Thing or Your Mother." Oh! And in the tie-in-novel "Here Be Monsters" (that takes place during Buffy season three), there's a section where Buffy is seeing her worst nightmares. I think it's Angelus she sees (and I think she sees herself killing him again? it's been a while), who tells her that she knows how their story is going to have to end (with her killing him once more), and she'd better make it stick this time.
In the tie-in book, "The Evil That Men Do" (a book that takes place in season three), Buffy and Angel are kidnapped by Helen (a former vampire lover of Angelus') and her lover and forced to try to kill each other in a gladiator-like game. They pretend that they've turned on each other to get out of it and get their enemies to try to kill one another (as Helen's lover was always jealous of her and Angelus, and now he fears they're going to be together again).
In the classic comic "City of Despair" (that takes place in Buffy season 4/Angel season 1) Buffy and Angel are abducted to another dimension (called the City of Despair, actually), and forced to battle each other. They both have these collars on their necks, that are impossible to remove and will kill them if they disobey. They're also, like, almost forced to fight against their will: their bodies moving with a mind of their own, I mean. But eventually Buffy realizes that it's literally people's despair keeping them there. She convinces Angel to try to fight against the feeling with her for just one moment: the two of them embrace, and then escape.
Edit 2: Wait. I guess there's also the Buffy book "Big Bad," that has Buffy and Angelus in it, but I haven't read it yet. So I can't tell you how good or in-character that one is atm. And unlike how the original tie-in books and classic comics were always okayed by at least one of the original writers, I'm not sure if these new novels have been. I'm thinking not?
Edit 3: And though a part of me is loath to mention Boom, since they're not canon and I have... not very positive emotions about these comics in a lot of ways. In the first Buffy/Angel comic they were doing, Angel ended up possessed by something called the Hellmother, I believe it was called, while he and Buffy were on a mission in the Hellmouth together. And then Buffy ended up having to fight him.
#long post#bangelus#bangel#asked and answered#this also gets into headcanon territory of course: but i'd like to believe s4!angelus would have eventually come to sunnydale. but he was#being more careful. and doing things a bit differently this time. after last time#but it's def possible. imo. since we don't see into angelus' head in s4 that much as compared to s2#but you know... as much as i would have loved to see buffy vs angelus again in angel s4 and buffy s7. it might be best it didn't happen#in the shows and is just a fanfic (a very good) fanfic thing. buffy went through much that season. and the seasons prior. she didn't need#that too. another user said this (can't think of their name right now). but hearing angelus was back while she was dealing with the first#and trying to protect all the potentials probably WOULD have put her on suicide watch. my poor girl#also in another choose your own adventure book. colony. you can get bad endings where buffy and angel pretty much kill each other#since in that book either angel buffy or giles got the whammy put on them by the big bad#also bad endings in night terrors where angelus kills buffy#but those kinds of things are par for the course with choose your own adventure books#colony takes place in s2 too#but of course none of that would be canon. those bad endings#though it could be canon where angel or buffy got the whammy put on them but then got broken out of it: those endings#excuse me while i just add in all of the buffy/angel fight scenes i can think of. i guess. that people might not know about here#that are maybe angelus-esque (some of these definitely stretching that. i know). since it might somewhat kind of-ish be a bit of what#you're looking for anon#also. side note. all of these buffy books and comics are actually really good. even the first buffy/angel boom story i prefer much more to#some of their later stuff probably#and angelus himself has been in some of the boom comics now. though not at the same time as buffy sadly#and i don't know how in-character or not he's been. because i sort of stopped reading boom. but what little i did see with him looked like#it might have been taking him in a strange direction. but i may be wrong#there's also the angel book 'impressions' where these stones are making all of the demons act wild/angry which. if you haven't guessed.#makes angel act more like angelus and sort of pulls angelus out more and more as the book progresses (until things are resolved) and in#that book angel thinks of buffy twice there#that book takes place during angel season 3/buffy season 6
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i wish i was twenty something
#txt#all the 20+ ppl i've met seem so put together even when they're not at their desired place in life#i feel like i'm just a guy#i just wish there was like a book of my life so i can open it and see where i'll be in 5 years
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i didn't realize complete and utter fucking dipshits were allowed to write for forbes magazine these days
#*t#like. i don't even know where to begin with this one.#it starts with the concept of the 'side hustle' and ends with 'wait for the royalties to roll in'#like lmao bitch. tell me you don't know a thing about publishing without saying you don't know a thing about publishing.#'cash in on this opportunity' GIRL DO YOU THINK ALL WRITERS ARE MAKING MILLIONS#ALSO something about the casual 'you can hire ghostwriters and editors to complete and polish your work'—#my gal you are one ill-placed step away from flat-out saying 'let an AI do the writing'#like. idk man. i don't want it to come across like i'm gatekeeping or some stupid shit like that#so lemme put it this way: i will ALWAYS have INFINITELY more respect for a mediocre writer who puts their passion and heart into their work#than for some 'perfectly marketed' book generated by a soulless tech asshole who plugged some keywords into an AI and hit 'send'#people who write from the heart and put their work out there for hundreds to see#are braver than any silicon valley fuckstain at any startup on any given day. change my mind. you can't.#ANYWAY. sorry. here's gabby's rant of the day i guess aklsjdfha
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