#and a nepo baby

[gimmeurmoneyagh]

𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀 - 𝟎:𝟎𝟏

❝𝟏𝟔𝟎𝟎 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭, 𝐄𝐠𝐲𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐫𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭❞

- Cleo De Nile

𝐀𝐇, 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑...

𝐌𝐘 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐃, 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋.

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐋𝐋.

𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐈𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐑, 𝐓𝐇𝐘 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐈 𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓...

𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐈 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐊...

𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐌𝐈𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐎𝐍 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐇...

𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 𝐁𝐈𝐃𝐒 𝐈𝐓,

𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐑.

𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄. 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌. 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔.

𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄.

𝐍𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓,

𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐆𝐎 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃.

BAM!

’What is that noise! Nefera must be annoying me again.’ You open your eyes only seeing darkness, ’Oh fuck, fuck shit bitch no. This goddess does not fuck with the dark!’

“CRAP! People are coming gotta get a uniform while...“

’Uhm. What is that annoying rat voice! Nefera doesn’t sound like that! (it’s close but still.)’ 

TINK! TINK!

“Grr! The lid is too heavy!“

“Time for my secret move! GWUWAAH~~~!! There! 😼“

SWISH!

Flames everwhere. It was all you could see, oh my rah you were actually hyperventilating. You didn’t want to die!

“Heehee! Now time to get...“

’RAH! Does that person outside every shut up, and why are they not helping a DE NILE!’

A lid(?) opened and your eyes took a while to adjust to the light after your eyes were in fucking darkness.

“WHAAH! WHY ARE YOU UP!“

It was a cat. A cat. What? Can cat’s breathe fire... and talk? It had dark grey fur and bright blue eyes.

“And why do you look like a furry expirement gone wrong,“ You sneer down at the little freak.

The freak paused for a moment before glaring up at me “EH?! HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT THE GREAT GRIM! I’M NOT AN EXPERIMEBT, LOWLY HUMAN!“

“Excuse me! I am not a normie I’m (Name) De Nile, of the De Nile’s. A mummy. Asshole.“ You grumbled before looking around. (“what’s a de nile’s?“ it asked.)

Were you kidnapped? And why in  a room with floating coffins? Casta would love this place.

And what were you wearing? It was a purple robe with gold accents. Classy. But not usually what you would wear, you quickly checked if you still had your bandages and clothes on underneath. And you did. Good.

“Well whatever! Gimmme your clothes!“ Then it held it’s paws(?) out making a grabby motion. “Otherwise... I’ll roast ya’!“

“I’m not stripping for a fucking raccoon.“ you dead-pan, before sighing and throwing him across the room.

“OWIE!“ It cried, you snicker at the freak. Before spinning on your heel and sprinting out the room. 

Where were you? 

You’ve been running for a while, and every room you passed made you realize the fact you may actually have been kidnapped!

You fled into a room with books inside- maybe a library? You paused to look through the books- if the place you were in had any culture there would be books on the De Nile family.

But all you found were stupid books about other worlds and stupid theories of alternate universes? Duh, everymonster knows other worlds are real. After all Astranova made a big entrace at Boo York.

Then the freak from earlier came in and put the room on fire. 

“Wha-? Are you stupid this is a library?!“

Hexes, Ghoulia’s rubbing off on you, caring about books? How not... (Name) of you.

“Heehee, Did you really think you’d get away from my nose! Stupid human!“

“I’m not a normie!“ you roar(f-f-furry alert!!) and pin the freak on the floor, trapping it under your heel. “H-hey! Stop!“ It whimpered.

TWANG!

A rope(?) wrapped all around you .

“What in-! Why’s there a rope on me! Do you know who I am!“ you grumbled.

“This is no mere rope! It is a lash of love!“ A man with dark short hair, a bird mask and blinding yellow eyes zeroed in on us.

’Gay-ahh name. Deff’ hexts on men on MansterxManster. And also?? Is he ignoring what I said earlier? Stupid bitch. Probably wearing a mask because of how ugly he is’

“Ahah! Found you at last, are you perhaps one of the new students!“

’huh’

“Excuse me! I am already attending a school. Monster High! One of the finest!“ You glare at this man’s audacity.

The man just chuckled “In all my years of living I have never heard of a Monster High! How silly!“

You felt your face drop in a frown ’Okay fuck you too ig’

“Ahh! You gave me a good laugh, anywhoo! You should not do things like that! Leaving the gate on your own. How riduculous.“

’Does he stop yapping? And in front of a De Nile no less? How infuriating!’

“Not only that, you have yet to tame your familiar. Which has broken quite an amount of school rules!“ He narrows his yellow orbs, literally his eyes sockets are pitch-black.

“GUWAH! HELP, SHE’S HOLDING ME HOSTAGE!“ Grim cried from under my heel, six inches goes a loooong way.

The man just waves him off with a giggle “Oh be quiet, that isn’t even real torture you can live through it!“

“But my, it is unexpected for a student to leave the Gate on their own. Uh there really was no need to be so impatent“

’stfu before my family reports you for harrasment bird man’

You roll your eyes at him, “Where even am I? ’Cause this definetly isn’t Monster High“ You flip your hair, and look him up and down.

He ignores your question “The entrance ceremony is already well under way. Let us head to the Hall of Mirrors“ He chirps.

“man-whore“ You mutter, “Excuse me can you please unty me?“ You gritt your teeth feeling uncomfortable with how tight the rope felt on you.

“Oh sevens! Sorry but as I am incredibly gracious I will let you go!“ He nervously giggles (like a schoolgirl)

He unties you and you lift your heel to walk, Grim was about to scamper away before you snatched him and held him in the air.

“KYA! Let me go!!“ He waddles in the air, you groan “Be quiet, I’m taking pity on you and allowing you to bask in my prescence,“ You grin down at him.

He sweats bullets as you eye him, just why were you muttering about keychains and mumy-wrap (what even are mummies?).

The man who was watching the entire interaction clapped his hands together “Oh what fun, but however sir, you cannot keep a familiar here!“

You ignore him, and just walk into the hallways.

“W-wait sir that is the wrong direction!“

As you two walked (you put the freak on your shoulder) towards the room the ceremony would commence, when you started to ask where the fuck where you.

“Oh? Are you still dazed l? Mustbe the transportation magic,“ He hummed “But it is fine as it happens often!“

“I shall give you an explanation as I am incredibly gracious!“ 

“Right...“ You resist the urge to roll your eyes again.

“This is Night Raven College, young man.“ Did he not notice you were a ghoul aready? 

“Mage’s graced with a... unique aptitude for magic gather from all over the world, here! At the most prestigous magical academy in Twisted Wonderland! Not like those pompus fools at Royal Sword.“ He whispered the last part, smiling to himself.

’Freak, I just wanna go back to Monster High. Wait do I have my wallet on me?’

“And I,“ the man started, snapping you out of your thoughts “Am the headmaster, appointed to take care of this academy by the board chairman. I am Dire Crowley.“ He boasts

“oh...,“ You mutter, you’ve already met witches and warlocks before so there was no need to get so excited over mages.

“Yes amazing isn’t it! Only those mage’s who are seen as worthy by the Dark Mirror can attend this school“

’Does he ever stop talking?’

“Chosen ones use the gate and are summoned here from around the world“ He yaps.

’SHUT THE HELL UP’

“An Ebony Carriage carrying a Gate should have gone to meet you as well,“

Is that why you were so sweaty? Or maybe it was because you were almost burned.

“Huhh, I do remember Headmistress’ Bloodgood horse staring at me a lot yesterday“ You thought aloud.

“Ah, you were chosen to come here, young man! That is truly a great honor for you to recieve“

“More like a great honor for your school to recieve me“ you said, Croweley ignores the comment just pushing you behind him.

“Come! Let’s go into the entrance ceremony!“

note: ppl on wattpad liked it so i decided to put it here :)))

side note: srry if mc is out of character :(( wait a minute i made her

[viriborne]

Lars’ chibis are so funny to me

[ioveultraviolence]

I always wanted to be famous.

[ambrosiagourmet]

Not sure how widely recognized this is but it’s fucking wild to me that miss kui just quietly snuck in the fact that most (if not all) of the differences between races only exist because of wishes they made to the Winged Lion.

Dwarves being strong? Lion wish. Elves being good at magic? Lion wish. All lifespan differences???? Lion wish, babey!

Not that the elves superiority shtick isn’t already BS, but it’s even funnier with the context that the only difference between them and humans is that, thousands of years ago, their leaders made a greedier wish to the demon that wanted to eat them.

[swannsways]

favorite Angus Tully's quotes, The Holdovers (2023) dir. Alexander Payne

[mysharona1987]

[tmblrofshame]

dipcifica is so funny to me because dipper was literally nice to every other girl in that show but pacifica. like it was on fucking sight

[frownyalfred]

a random socialite: “Your rude, spoiled children shouldn’t be allowed at these events. They ruin every party they go to.”

Bruce, a rude, spoiled nepo baby currently in a secret competition with his children to see who can ruin this gala first: “…uh huh.”

[gods-favorite-autistic]

I think it’s funny how at least one of the bad guys from each season has had personal beef with Riz Gukgak

[slightlyartist]

🎶 The Bentley got the wrong Radio Ga Ga 🎶

(CEO Jesus my beloved...)

[moonlightmagical]

okay i KNOW alice didn't get that mocha for gwen but there was something so vulnerable and sweet in the way gwen thanked her. like you know girlie is not used to any sort of kindness and just a moment of unexpected thoughtfulness (even if it wasn’t actually for her) shook her to her core

[gimmeurmoneyagh]

𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀 - 𝟎:𝟎𝟑

❝𝟏𝟔𝟎𝟎 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭, 𝐄𝐠𝐲𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐫𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭❞

- Cleo De Nile

“OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!“

“NYAH?! The heck is this!?“ Grim frowned.

A half-red, half-black collor appeared around Grim’s neck, Grim tried to claw at it to make it get off.

“Laws of the Queen of Hearts: Number 23 ’One shall never bring a cat into a festival’!“ He glared at you now, you were about to walk over and curse his entire bloodline when Riddle began to speak again.

“You being a cat means you’ve broken the rule. I shall have you leave at once!“

“I’m not a cat!“ Grim cried, “I’ll burn this collar right up and... EH! I can’t use my fire!“

Riddle giggled but tried to pass it off as a chuckle (spoiler alert it did not convince anyone) to Grim’s misfortune, “Hmph! You won’t be using any magic until I remove the collar. Just like an ordinary cat.“

“Wh-what?! I’m not some pet!“ Grim tried to retort.

“Don’t worry I’d never keep a pet like you“ Riddle sneered. “I’ll take it off when you get thrown out anyway.“

Azul butted into the conversation wearing a saccharine smile, “Wonderful as ever. Any and all magic gets sealed by your unique magic, Riddle. I want it..- *cough* No. I would never want that cast on me.“ He nervously chuckled.

’Real smooth’ you thought, frowning a bit when that failure of a person, Crowley decided to reprimand you (for what? you never make any mistakes you’re practically perfect!)

“You must do something about this, (Name)! It is your familiar!“ He scowled. “Maybe properly discipli-“

“It’s not mine,“ You gritt your teeth in anger, you wanted out of this weirdo school. You missed Ghoulia and her doing your homework. 😢

“It’s not yours...?“ he pursed his lips, as you shook your head for a ’no’.

“Yeah, If I’m supposed to be ’magicless’ how am I supposed to have a familiar?“ You asked, motioning for him to answer.

“Ehhh..“ He tugged at his coat and coughed into his hand, “My apologies! Anyway, let’s get it out of the school. And as I am gracious we won’t cook it into a stew. My my, truly my kindess is boundless!“ He smiled.

’boundless my ass’ 

“Someone help please!“ at those words the entire crowd shuffled and went farther from him.

And honestly, same.

“GYAH! LET ME GO!“ Grim shrieked, still clawing at the collar “I am- I’m going to become the greatest mage ever!!“

Two boys were pushed into the open and forced to through Grim out of the ceremony.

’How annoying’ you curled your lips downwards, eyeing Grim with distate. It was deserved as he was annoying and even almost burned you! You took immense satisfaction at his shouts (were you beefing with an animal? yes. do you care? no)

“W-we may have had a bit of trouble along the way but this bring the entrance ceremony to a close!“ Crowley loud ahh voice snapping you out of your thoughts. 

“Housewardens, please show the new students back to the dorms!“ He said, putting his hands on his hips and looking into space as if he was delivering a great speech.

He looked down at the students again before pausing, “...hmm? Now that I think about it, I don’t see the dorm leader of Diasomnia, Mr. Draconia anywhere.“

“That’s no different from usual, is it?“ the were-lion(? you still weren’t sure) snarked.

“Whaat? Did nobody tell him about the ceremo....“

You tuned out and just looked around the room, you were busy looking at some cutie with white hair and purplish eyes when someone with a deep voice spoke up (LOUDLY! VERY LOUDLY! [it wasn’t it really wasn’t])

“It seems I was correct“ people still talk like that? 

“I thought he might come but Malleus really didn’t“ you turned your head to the direction of the voice and...

Draculaura?! She’s here too?

Wait no that was a boy.

But uhm... why was he so fucking short. No short people-hate but you did not expect that voice to come out of that.

You liked his hair though.

“It seems the invitation ’never arrived’ again...“ He lamented.

Not being invited? hah. Could never happen to you. (you miss monster high, even if you’ve only been gone for probably an hour)

“My dearest apologies. I promise we didn’t intend to exclude you“ said Azul, putting a hand on his chest. (he seemed fake)

“His aura makes it hard for us to approach him.“ Riddle defended himself (and the others ig).

Meanwhile you went back to looking at the cutie with white hair again.

“It’s fine. Members of Diasomnia can come follow me. I just hope this doesn’t upset him...“

That was a weird interaction. 

You were standing blinking wide eyed wondering what just happened when- “Then (Name), I’m terribly sorry about this but..-“

“You’re making me leave? Yeah I figured“ (you really didn’t but you would rather die then admit that)

“*ahem* Correct! Those without any talent for magic cannot be allowed to attend class here“ You shrugged at that you didn’t really care about this place and if you were gone for too long that bitch Torelai might steal your spot as fearleading captain.

“However there is no need to worry. The dark mirror will send you directly back from whence you came from“ He motioned his hands toward the big mirror.

You smiled a bit at that one, who knew a clown could actually make people smile!

“Enter the gate and picture your home clearly in mind...“

“Oh Dark Mirror! Guide this one back to the place she belongs!“  He belloed raising his hands ip

At that you scrunch your eye-lids tight causing some of those color/light spots. You thought of the sea Lagoona’s family came from, the normie town near Monster High, your room. Your room filled with clothes, posters, and burn books. You thought of your jewels and all your credit and debit cards. You missed your money already. And all your friends even Clawdeen’s annoying little sister. Uhhhh... Growleen. Yeah her.

You even crossed your fingers and spoke an old egyptian chant for luck. (you however didn’t notice someone jolting in surprise at the chant)

“........“

Crowley looked around (probably embarrased) “Oh... Uh once more. Oh Dark Mirror! Guide thi-“ 

“It is nowhere“ 

That’s a lie. You wanted to go already. ☹️☹️☹️.

“Eh?“ Crowley looked shocked “The place she belongs is nowhere in this world... It does not exist“

What?! Now you were shocked, you were standing hunched over mouth open and your eye was twitching. This wasn’t in (whatever Monster High world is called)?! And apparently (whatever Monster High world is called) doesn’t exist here either?!

Where the fuck were you?! You missed your ghoulfriends...

“What did you say? That is unbelievable! Hmm, well, the unbelievable has been on parade today.“ Crowley hummed, putting stroking his chin again.

Meanwhile you were having an existential breakdown, iconically.

“This is the first time it’s ever happened since I became headmaster, what should be..“ Crowley’s sockets narrowed. “Where exactly did you come from?“

“Are you dumb? I told you earlier Monster High, which is located in (wherever the fuck Monster High world is called)“ you stood straight up at the attention being brought back to you. Even if you were scared you had to make good impressions because you didn’t have daddy’s money anymore.

“I’ve never heard of such a place“ Crowley admitted. Yeah, you were absolutely screwed. 

“I have a general grasp of where all the students came from but I’ve never even heard that name before. Let us do some research in the library.“ 

And with a swish of his cloak he quickly motioned for you to follow him.

[emporium]

Tumblr Logo Earrings • $12.00

You aren’t going to find these earrings anywhere else. Seriously, who would be crazy enough to make them. They started their life as a request from a co-worker but turned into a real product that you can actually buy thanks to my mom.

Silver colored hardware

1″ tall and made from 1/8″ acrylic

About Maker

Normally this would be a weird situation but this is tumblr, anything goes. These earrings are handmade by my mother. She retired from teaching high school chemistry and needed something to do so I bought her a Glowforge and the things she creates make me equal parts proud and jealous. Her passion is earrings and I had to talk her into making some for me as I might have scared her a bit with stories about my tumblr experience, but she finally agreed.

All income she earns from these earrings will go towards feeding her little glutton of a puppy, Izzi, who is equal parts adorable and picky about what she’ll eat.

Edit: Added Puppy Pic

[oceancentury]

John ‘Jack’ Bouvier Kennedy Schlossberg (only grandson of John F. Kennedy and Jacqueline Bouvier) is Vogues new political correspondent.

[demadogs]

[ominous-horse-noises]

anyway i want to reiterate that i hope the rat grinders are tpk'd, revived and uncorrupted solely bc i want them to have to spend senior year together. 'redeemed' doesnt necessarily mean friendly with the bad kids and honestly? its so much funnier if they continue being bitchy to each other but without the trying to end the world stuff. they've built plenty of positive relationships w/ former villains now it's time for the next stage: uneasy alliance buzzing with the tension of both sides trying to hold back the urge to clown on each other

introducing, fantasy high senior year: the group project