#and a lot of us just won't survive
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short-wooloo · 7 days ago
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I hope the leftists are happy
Because no one else will be
Ukraine is fucked, Palestine is fucked, the rights of women minorities and queers are fucked, the world is going to move closer and closer to massive wars and environmental catastrophe
And American democracy....
If we make it through this, we will only do so at heavy cost, a lot of us won't make it through this, and it will take decades to get back to a place even close to what we were at, and in some cases there will be no going back
From the bottom of my heart, fuck you and I hope there is a hell, you belong in it
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isca-rambles · 3 months ago
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Behind the Scenes photos from director Lanre Olabisi's instagram
Because I know some of y'all have been craving literally anything with these two together. Looking very likely that 7x06 will be a Valentine's episode with a gala/silent auction. Fanfic writers, I summon thee!
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aeolianblues · 7 months ago
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one last thing I will say on that topic. Americans getting upset about you calling out Zionism. When you're not talking about Judaism or in fact, about religion at all. When you're talking about a national military funded by a country that has been dropping bombs on the middle east since the 1980s. But then I suppose when people who are so so so comfortable with equating a whole religion, or further a whole entire group of multiple ethnicities, with simply 'terrorism', are criticised on any aspect of their wrongdoings of course they must think we're talking about their whole religion. Literally every word is a projection.
#I lost all respect for that person honestly. I used to think they were quite cool. I put up with a lot of blatantly horrendous shit thinking#'surely it's only a defensive thing. Surely they're only talking about the sadness within their community rather than actively supporting#the mass killings of thousands of people. Surely they're a teacher they've got to have that empathy with kids being murdered'#No! The fucking full clownshow. And now I've been feeling like an idiot all day— like why did I go 'let it slide' x 100#why should *they* walk away feeling like they've got some sort of moral superiority here and why should I feel like I've been struck down?#Why am I the idiot that didn't block them four months ago#Anyway sorry to everyone who's had to watch me spam about one (1) negative interaction *all day long* it will subside soon#I'm just stinging from the fucking. Utter blindness.#We've always said someone's comfort doesn't override someone else's right to survival#as a literal genderqueer person they KNEW that. They'd uttered the same fucking sentence#but alas the pinkwashing that makes me so frustrated with Americans sometimes. It magically doesn't apply where racism is concerned ✨😃#The US really is bombs dropped by rainbow-painted aircrafts; that meme should not be this accurate#anyway I'm glad that person is not in my life anymore. I'm glad my dash has one less abomination to repeatedly show up on it#and I have every right to be angry and I will be. I just won't bother you lovely folks with it
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unnamed-atlas · 5 months ago
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Finally finished sweet tooth s3. Having incredibly mixed feelings
#love the show. love it a lot. about to be a bitch in the tags anyways#it was. so so messy. they needed another season so bad. the alaska trip took up so much of the comics#and that was with the previously established cast#in the show they introduced a million new characters. gave us no time to get to know them before they were thrown head first into the plot#and condensed an arc that was almost half of the comics into the span of like 5 episodes#my boy singh. oh how they massacred by boy#i mean. okay. in the context of the show the arc wasn't horrible for him.#but i think his survival in the comic and his dedication of his life to making up for the mistakes of his past by helping people and hybrids#would've been so much more powerful than his random self sacrifice at the end of the show.#bc honestly it just seems like another impulsive act in his moral flip flop he'd been having for the last few episodes#rather than active choice to be better#and honestly i wanted to see his delusional paranoid religious breakdown from the comics put to screen so bad#it would've been great#i do like that he turned against zhang the second she started trying to talk about rani. that shit slapped#the several fake outs about Jepp's death were so stupid and unnecessary and repetitive#why are you baiting everyone. you're going to piss off the hardcore comic fans waiting for his death and confuse the show fans#either commit to killing him or stop pretending like you're brave enough to do it#why did they flip back so hard into the mystical vaguely eco fascist backstory and outcome of the comic#after spending two seasons trying to build a more scientific and less 'humanity must end' story for two seasons straight#they tried to make it seem less 'humanity must die' again at the end by ending the virus#which i guess might've been the best outcome available considering the source material and the limitations of it's ending#but idk. it felt weird#the writing this season was so much less subtle. it felt like the characters were constantly monologing directly at the camera#nothing could be left unsaid everyone had to say exactly what they meant#and it was all moral lessons the writers were trying to feed directly to the audience#i feel like they wrote themselves into a corner at the end of the last season#and they expected to have at least one more season to write themselves out of it before the ending#and if not. if this was the plan since the beginning. literally what. WHAT.#can not imagine the people who wrote the last two seasons sitting down and writing this#it won't let me add more tags but i have more thoughts. many more. tumblr is silencing me for speaking the truth /j
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piplupod · 9 months ago
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mother: "theres this great job where you'd be on-call to come in!"
me: "ahhh i don't really want to be on-call, that would stress me out a lot because I'd always be on edge,,"
mother: "no you wouldn't, you could make it your thing!"
me: "...my thing?"
mother: "being on call! it'd be great! :)"
me: "i would probably be crying like... a lot ahaha. because I would always be on edge never knowing when to expect having to go into work, yknow?"
mother: "nooo, you could just make it a thing!"
me: "sorry, what do you mean by thing?"
AND I NEVER FOUND OUT !!
#i feel very ill fdsjkl tonight was ... not good#not the worst definitely not the worst#just. a lot of diet talk and making fun of other ppl that she expected us to all laugh at (and we did. idk if they found it funny.)#and brother labelling some influencer having rape charges against him just ''internet drama''#number one: i dont want to hear about that. number two: that is not just ''drama'' that is like. serious. what the fuck is wrong w youuuu#my mother will say that all the food i eat is very bad for me and do that while knowing full well i struggle to eat Anything#and say that simply Adding things to the diet is pointless bc ur poisoning urself still! u have to Take Out things! i cant fucking do that!#im still baffled that two years ago when i tried to go to them for help when i was almost fainting from not eating they just shrugged at me#''okay? why are u telling us this?'' BECAUSE YOU ARE MY PARENTS. AND I AM TRYING TO GET HELP.#i should've known better than to try tbh but like. its so hard to completely let go of every sliver of hope that they'll... be kind#like me saying i was feeling suicidal a few yrs ago just garnered a ''oh don't start this again. we're not doing this again.''#and me admitting my own damn self to the psych ward just had her telling me ''i dont think you actually needed to go :/''#mother dearest if it werent for the other fuckers in the brain (caused by you abusing me) then i would've been dead several times over#i am so fucking tired i am so sick of these ppl it is so incredibly painful and terrifying that this is supposed to be my family#this is the one support system i get in life. and it is no support system at all. i am fucked !! i am so unbelievably fucked!!!#i know other ppl make it thru but they are much stronger than me. i am lacking something that they all have lmao. i am cowardly and weak!!!#i have been trying so fucking hard to figure out how to like. make this work. how to survive in this society and its just. impossible#i think we're back to the clock ticking down as my bank account runs out#i cannot be employed and ppl keep telling me disability won't accept me so i am just. unanimously fucked over i suppose#i have two years !! two years until i run out of money!!! thats a lot of time!! to make all the art i want to make!!#i will make this work for these two years i will cope and make my art and disconnect and daydream through the intolerable parts#i will make these two years so good sdfjkl im gonna make it to the end of them#sorry this is all coming flooding out fsjdkl i've just tried so hard to be like. positive abt things and laugh abt things and be okay#im tired of trying to make it okay fdsjkl i am wallowing tonight i guess. boohoo poor little me fdsjkl i'll probably get over it soon#just need to like. let a little of the pressure leak out so i don't completely crack and do smth stupid#it will be okay !!! or as okay as it can be !!! this will be blocked out by tomorrow morning probably!!#or it'll have to be LMAO i have my silly old lady yarn group tomorrow and i need to be Normal for that#suicide tw#abuse tw#ed tw
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bougiebutchbitch · 1 year ago
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house is my babygirl
buggy is my specialest little subby guy
gojo is my bitch
I hope this makes sense to everyone
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torgawl · 1 year ago
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gojo's death has been way too controversial for something that has been premeditated for such a long time
#like... this was so coming#also the fact gege took every chance he got to say how gojo was still alive/not dead yet 😂#anyways i hope shoko survives to see some change in jjk society#i was reading a few of my old posts and tags yesterday and i had written about how from the trio she was the most likely to survive#and how i hoped though her they got to see change in the new generation unlike they were able to experience in their youth#and i still hope that's true#maybe jjk won't have a happy ending but i hope it's just just pointless you know?#also i don't think megumi is dead i refuse to believe yuuji's big moment isn't coming and that his whole thing isn't saving megumi#i still have wishful thinking he'll be able to honour the 'then start by saving me itadori'#he's also the person that makes most sense to win against sukuna#people undervalue yuuji as a protagonist a lot although he isn't your typical shonen main character he still is one and for a reason#so i want to have hope he will be able to do soemthing to save megumi somehow#i don't care if i'm delulu but there's just no way kenjaku and sukuna's big final moments won't be with the main characters right?#there's no way yuuta isn't gonna try to kill kenny like he said and no way yuuji doesn't face sukuna methinks#at least that's what i'm kind of hoping for endgame i think it would wrap things up well maybe not but it makes sense to me 😂#just wonder how gege wil wrap up some other characters#i think i'm preparing myself to be disappointed with shoko's fate i really wish she would be used in a relevant part of the story#i just think she had so much potential but that doesn't seem likely right? not at this point#but anyways just ranting#not just*#jjk spoilers#okay adding something: even if gojo didn't die or is able to be saved still he had to face death/be disabilitated for the story to go on#in my humble opinion. i just think this story was always about him passing the torch and not about him having any real impact in society#gojo's generation (and i'm including yaga here) has made the choice to help the youth which in itself is already breaking generational#curses but every single one of them has been doing the equivalent of putting bandaids on a fatal wound#obviously the story is much more complicated than this simple analogy but it was not up to gojo's generation to do anything#i just think the parallelism between them has always been pretty obvious about it#that gojo's generation was about intent and aid rather than being successful themselves?!#idk where i'm going with this but i really think this is a story about the youth consinuously trying to do better even if they fail#and they will fail because life isn't fair
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dont-offend-the-bees · 8 months ago
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We need better fucking care infrastructure. I should not be trusted with anyone's care ever 💛
#thing is caring for myself? I'm not GREAT at it but i can scrape by#i know my limits i know how much or little i need to survive i know that i can usually more or less bounce back after a tough time#i think if my life fell out from under me i could probably scrape it back even if i wound up doing a lot of couch surfing in the meantime#i genuinely don't know how I'll survive if i have to be fucking sole carer for someone#dad's on his way back now and he's been prescribed antibiotics and hopefully that's that#but at least a couple of times a year there's some shit like this#an awful cough or an infection or a fucking insane choice to like do some diy on the outside of the house standing on the windowsill#he fucking nearly chokes on his food once or twice a week#maybe he's just one of those cockroach type motherfuckers who'll never die no matter how the universe steps on him#but I'm fucking PISSED that he's taking that for granted and won't even sit and fucking talk to me about what happens when his luck runs out#I've been looking after mum alone for what four hours today and I'm already so tired and frustrated i wanna die#i am. a deeply impatient and unsociable creature.#i can be infinitely patient with friends! those are my fave people i chose to have them in my life I'd wait like a fucking mountain for them#mum and i were.... already sort of At Odds before all this started.#i'm the kid she never 100% really wanted and who never really 100% wanted to be here#and now we're stuck together and one day possibly sooner than any of us want it will be. just the two of us.#and i just. i don't know what that looks like. i really don't.#anyway. mental breakdown over hopefullly.#with a bit of luck dad and i actually fucking TALK before the next one#idk man. i never really knew what i wanted to do with my life but i thought I'd have time to figure it out#but maybe I'm just. the unqualified burnout with covid memory damage and a whole ass other human to care for#the exact thing i set out to avoid when i decided never to have kids#anyway. enough oversharing.#thank you anyone who's read my spiralling tag rambles in solidarity i love you#mr. bees speaks
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notjanine · 2 years ago
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this week me n Books got dressed up and went to a slightly famous fun new restaurant,* the next day we stayed in for a cozy movie night,** and the next we met their mom for dinner.*** it’s almost like we’re building a life together or something****
#also got absolutely railed on my birthday godbless#actually we had sex every night i was at their place this week which is. a lot bc we be fuckin for hours#it's great but whew that's a lot of time! ya girl has been sleepy as hell#* canje atx- it was fun and i would recommend it but i probably wouldn't go again#each thing we ate was good (except i hated Books' drink and they did not like the (v mustardy) callaloo) but most dishes weren't balanced#and they didn't present them in a way that made a lot of sense (i've been to one of the owners' other restaurants and it was similar there)#it was also unbelievably loud in the restaurant which would have been very unpleasant but it was fine being there with Books#like it was a bummer bc they had just finished the first ep of black sails and i'd just finished the first book in their favorite series#so we were both psyched for a good conversation over dinner but! not possible!#but we still had fun bc they're the only person on earth i could just look at and not talk to for an hour and a half#ANYWAY the appetizers did absolutely fuck we had a little tropical fruit salad and saltfish fritter and they were bomb#and i looked Cute in my little black dress with my new leg tattoo#** we had never done a movie night in before?? we've gone to the theater and we've watched tv at home but#hadn't done a full on lights out cozy blankets quietly stare at the screen for two hours before. it was great#*** my first time meeting a Mom and it was weird and scary and awk bc they aren't out to her so i had to use the wrong pronouns for them#but i survived. and they aren't super close for complicated reasons so it won't be a regular thing but. it was okay.#**** i spent christmas AND my birthday with them and#ok they're in school right this is currently their first semester of college#and they mentioned to their mom that they might be transferring/moving before they finish#that was my first time hearing that so i brought it up later like hey what did you mean by that where are you planning on going?#and they were basically like. if you pick a state i'll pick a school there#like it is time for me to start applying for jobs and i had been planning on bringing up this slight possibility with them but#i decided to wait until next week or later bc i didn't want them to feel obligated to say what i want to hear bc of my birthday#but they brought it up. because as usual we are very much on the same page#i don't even particularly WANT to move out of state right now but#to know that i wouldn't have to make the hard decision between them and my career? gosh#they're so good#i'm so glad i kept an open mind when my friend offered to set me up with someone the exact opposite of what i was looking for lmao#remember after that weekend i had those two first dates and i was like idk ab this Bookstore one... l m a o i was a fool!#now i am still a fool just in a different way
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onrainynights · 1 month ago
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JOB ACHIEVED. FINALLY
#it's only 16-ish hours a week and the pay kinda sucks BUT it's a job and it's a job I can do without killing myself so#$600/month is miles better than $0/month let me tell you#and I'm probably gonna apply for food stamps as well which will help a lot. then I can save a lot more bc I'll have smaller food budget#but god I'm so happy like. $400/month to my parents is going to make such a huge difference#like that'll make up the difference in bills PLUS give us enough extra grocery budget to eat actually good meals#like we've been surviving on mainly canned tuna and white bread and like. very cheap dinners#like the most vegetables we eat is when we have cheesy brocoli rice for dinner rip#I miss when we had curry and pesto pasta and homemade lo mein and stir fry and egg rolls...#we used to have vegetable heavy meals almost every day and now it's just sadness#recently I was craving vegetables so bad I drank a v8. I normally hate that shit but that day it was delicious#(tbc I hate it as a drink but it makes a fantastic ingredient for like. chili and stuff)#anyway all this to say vegetables are on the horizon!!! as are having little treats and stuff!!#also also the vocational rehab place FINALLY called my mom back (apparently the person in charge of returning messages#got fired because they just. weren't doing their job for months 💀)#so my sister is gonna start the process of working with the vocational rehab ppl to get her a job too#which is good bc like. she needs it she really does. she's the kind of person who NEEDS a reason to get out of bed or she just. won't.#and she also hasn't had a job since high school and she only had it for a few weeks before they fired her for a stupid made up reason#(really it was ableism but it was a trash company anyway. glad covid put them out of business. good riddance)#ack these are really long tags sorry but. I'm happy!!!!#shit has been so bad for so long and I finally have a tangible thing I can point to and say look!! it's getting better!!!
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villain-in-love · 5 months ago
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And here, ladies and gentlemen, is the actual Mad Hatter:
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One of the best chains in the series (or at least the most epic-looking), and the one capable of destroying other chains and literally anything else that derives it's power from the abyss. A parting gift from Intention of Abyss herself, created specially for Break to use.
...not without nasty side-effects, though.
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That thing is literally killing him in the process.
Though if I remember correctly, it's not the Mad Hatter by itself that is dangerous to use, but the fact that it's Break's second contract with a chain, and the previous one was illegal... I am not going to explain the whole mechanic of contracts here, the point is – his chain is eating away at his body, and in the best traditions of the 19th century, mangaka decided that coughing up blood as a sign of illness is, like, the coolest idea ever. Which is why Break will spend at least one third of the story covered in his own blood because this idiot just. Won't. Stop. Using. His. Goddamn. Chain.
Literally the only person in the entire manga who had a proper response to his bullshit was Gil:
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Yep, that's Break, sent flying face into the ground. Fabulous kick, I must say.
And right on time, because the idiot in question was losing a battle and decided that his only option was to do the thing that will certainly kill him this time, but at least he will take his opponents with him. Yes, he's suicidal. No, he does not know when to give up.
By the way, yes, it will eventually kill him.
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w0lp3rtinger · 5 months ago
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youtube
"- I have a lot of problems with Biden. He is clearly the better of the two options, which I recognize is a very low bar. Being better than Trump cannot be the standard, because Donald Trump is the absence of a standard.
"But the truth is, even if Trump looses, that won't be the end of this. The people who cooked up Project 2025 will just move onto Project 2029 instead, because for them, this is so much more than just one election, or indeed, one candidate. Project 2025 is born from impulse as old as America. It's an impulse that says one class of Americans is entitled to lead, and the rest of us are lucky to be allowed to serve- that thinks there should be a limited government when it comes to rules they have to live by, but also a unitary executive to keep the rest of us in line. These are old, old ideas that have been shouted from podiums-... but have now been placed into a new handbook for an only too willing president to use on day one.
"And in a perfect world, I would love if we had an opposing party better able to articulate a strong defense of our country's ideals and that also consistently lived up to them. People are entitled to hope for more from the next four years than someone just not being Trump (and for at least two supreme court justices to die)-...
"And for anyone tempted to think, 'Well, we survived Trump's first term,' first, not everyone did, and it should hopefully be very clear by now a second Trump term really does promise to be far, far worse, because if Trump's first term was defined by chaos, his second could be defined by ruthless efficiency. That should be troubling to absolutely everyone because Project 2025 is a movement who's members joke about wanting a white homeland and insist women have to have more babies to uphold western society.-
"We need to be better than this."
-John Oliver, June 19th of 2024
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practically-an-x-man · 6 months ago
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decided to watch Bird Box and as much as I love Sandra Bullock, five minutes in and she reminds me of my mother in a way that kinda makes me grimace
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esyra · 1 year ago
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After the hospital bombing, I finally heard back from my grandmother and confirmed that several of my relatives were murdered by Israeli bombing. Seven of them, to be precise. Three are still going, including her. We've been talking constantly ever since.
Asked if it was possible to head south, and was told they did but were also bombed there. So they decided to go back home, in Zeitoun. Their home was bombed and they were pulled out of the rumble, then driven by ambulances to the al-Ahli Arab Hospital. There were people in every corner. Gazans sheltering, sleeping on the floor. Gazans dying on the floor, waiting for beds.
Four were declared dead on arrival, three were in need of surgery and other three were just bandaged. Then, a bomb was dropped in the parking lot that made parts of the ceiling collapse, like Dr. Ghassan Abu Sittah reported in that horrific conference/interview. Those in need of surgery died.
By the way, just in case you didn't know: the Church of Saint Porphyrius, the third oldest in history, bombed by Israel a few days back, was located near the hospital.
When looking for new shelter, they saw schools with signs hanging outside, "We can't take any more families." They met families, sympathetic but already sheltering too many people. They're now staying in an apartment building they found empty. Sleeping in the corner of the living room. If the family comes back, they'll apologize and leave.
Told me she was saving her phone battery for when the bombing stopped, and she had to ask for help to rebuilt the neighborhood. But she doesn't think it's gonna stop anymore. The ones still with her are mute most of the time, like they're saving energy, but she feels lonely and wanted to talk. There's no internet and to connect to WhatsApp, people are buying "a card from the supermarket, there's a password and username." Not sure what she meant. Still, the internet is inconsistent and won't load neither videos or images nor pages, so she doesn't know what's happening on the outside world.
Told her there were a lot of people protesting to stop the genocide, she replied, "The bombings are getting worse by the day." The bombing yesterday was the worst she ever witnessed. The entire neighborhood is infested with the smell of death, of decomposing bodies. Bodies are piling up in the streets and she's not sure if it's because they ran out of places to store them, but most of them are in bags. The smoke of the bombings hide the blue sky—she hasn't seen the clouds for a while.
Asked if I could share their pictures, names and dreams with people and was told, of which I partly agree, "they're not entertainment." If anyone genuinely cared, they would be alive—I'd argue there are people who do care, but I'm not gonna lecture her pain. And they don't deserve to be used to fulfill someone's sick fantasy. Told me to remember what some Israelis do with pictures of dead Palestinians. And I do.
For those of you who are not familiar, many times before settlers got together to celebrate the murder of Palestinians. For one, in 2015, Israeli settlers set a house in Duma, West Bank on fire. An 18-month old baby, Ali Dawbsheh, was burnt alive. Both parents later died of wounds and only a 5-year-old, Ahmad, survived, although severely injured.
Two celebrations of their murder are widely known, one at a wedding and others outside the court in which two were indicted for the terrorist attack. In the wedding, guests stabbed a photo of the toddler, Ali, while others waved guns, knives and Molotov cocktails. Israel's Minister of National Security, Itamar Ben-Gvir, was present.
That's what happens in an apartheid. Palestinians are so abused by authorities that their "innocent civilians" come to accept the brutality as necessary or are desensitized by our suffering. After all, it's been 75 years—get used to it!
So I won't risk the image of my loved ones, in fear they are used in these kinds of depravity. I will say, though, the world lost a young footballer. Lost a female writer and an aspiring ballerina. Lost a kind father, who was also a great cook, and a loving mother that enjoyed sewing and other types of handicraft art. Lost a math teacher and a child that wanted to become one.
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People think Israel is testing new weapons on them. There's civilians arriving at the hospital with severe burns, which they thought was from white phosphorus, but apparently the pattern is different from the one caused by white phosphorus. It's widely believed Israel tests weapons in Palestinians.
Jeff Halper, author of War Against the People, a book on Israel's arms and surveillance technology industries, said: "Israel has kept the occupation because it's a laboratory for weapons."
They've ran out of drinkable water and the "aid" Biden sent was only for the South of Gaza and no fuel, for hospitals, was allowed in. Many shelves in the supermarket are empty. She said many are convinced that if they don't die from the bombing, they'll die from starvation or dehydration, or whatever disease will develop from the dirty water they're drinking.
Told me all people do now is pray, cry and die. Told me she hopes West Bank is spared. Told her Israel bombed a mosque in West Bank and dozens of Palestinians in West Bank are being murdered by settlers, so she bided me goodbye.
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blackmesa-vr · 10 months ago
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🥊🏆
#I hate making textposts because it feels like a big statement. A commitment of sorts. And that's not what I'm going for.#I don't expect anything I write to be read and they are not made with that purpose.#I write to let it out. Get it out of me. Make sure it's somewhere so at least I know I won't carry with me until my death.#So‚ with that said‚ I've been thinking a lot lately.#About fighting. About the curse of being the underdog by design. About how that only ever meant I was set up for failure.#In my games. In my ring. It was designed so despite it all‚ I could find a way to win.#Because it otherwise wouldn't be *fair* to the player. Despite the lack of rules. Despite the disparity in power and abilities.#It was still at least slightly *fair*. I always had a way to get close. Had an opening I could exploit.#We were still‚ despite everything‚ playing the same sport.#Smash is not like that. Nothing else is like that.#Only ever in the ring. Only ever in that small part of my life could I manage to be *more*.#It makes me think it was never me that did all that. I never had the capacity to win. I was never given the tools to survive.#I onlh just managed to get lucky with my environment.#There's something about trying your very best‚ working yourself to the bone‚ using every tool you have and all the strength you can muster.#And still be the weakest. I never stood a chance. There's no way the man designed to always be too small and too disadvantaged#could've ever truly pulled through.#Sigh!#At least I'll always be World Champiom. If only for a short while.#🥊🏆#I wonder if anyone else in the roster thinks about it. I wonder if it matters as much to them as it does to me.#Then again‚ most of their lives are not defined by fighting. So. I think my perspecfove may just be skewed.#Do they even know how much I resent them for the tools they were given... For the fact they were allowed to play an easier game than me...#rambling#Joker Persona 5. Hit me up. I have opinions about you you couldn't even begin to imagine.
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catmask · 1 year ago
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tbh when i hear some people talk about 'breaking cycles of abuse', it becomes clear pretty quickly who has come to understand that phrase to mean 'since i was a victim of abuse/neglect by my parents/caretaker/s i will do everything to be nothing like them' and that is all. its not a completely flawed way of thinking either - something that hurt you would very likely hurt someone else; through empathy we learn to understand not to hurt others the way we were hurt too.
but what 'breaking cycles' looks like is more complicated than just not being your parents/caretakers - it's about recognizing how the things that happened to you changed you and how you can heal so you don't hurt someone else in turn. the survival skills you learned in an unhealthy enviroment often translate to poor if not unhealthy interpersonal skills in an enviroment where things ARE safe.
its a difficult pill to swallow for a lot of survivors of abuse (trust me, i know) because we have a tendency to simply want our pain to be recognized. by painting yourself as "absolutely nothing like my abuser" you can abstain from recognizing your own harmful tendencies and live comfortably in the role of victim hood for the rest of your life. it can be tempting to do this especially when so many people will do their best to deny what you experienced - almost like leaning into a stuck door that just won't budge.
the problem with this is if you never recognize that being mistreated made it so you LACK a lot of what other people learned from a loving enviroment, you can hurt people pretty badly even when doing your best just not to replicate what your parents/caretakers got wrong.
this also hurts for victims because, when it comes down to it - it's not FAIR. you were hurt for no reason, and most of us will never hear an apology or even admittance from the person who did it - so why do YOU have to change? why do YOU, the person hurt unjustly, have to put in the work?
and i mean. that's what breaking a cycle is. it means pushing against what's fair and comfortable deliberately so that you can stop something that's been repeating. it's work. its not just recognition of pain, it's the purposeful healing and treatment of it. but thats scary, and it's not fun, so a lot of people fall right back into it. its a lot easier said than done.
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