#and a good portion of the dream was just them struggling to get off the table or climb up stairs

[nomairuins]

so close to being done with one step in the larger step in the larger step of the spreadsheet.

i ran out of space in the tags so im continuing them under the cut bc i wasnt finished... and if you let me finish i would of finshed my santance

anyways i have some countries like. the borders r pretty close to irl countries and i have them in my notes as x country but other ones i split them into like. just smaller subregions of the continent based on irl like. regions. like i split africa into . Madagascar + East Africa + Central Africa + Southern Africa + Western Africa + Northern Africa and its referenced off of maps where those r like. the recognized regions (well. madagascar is usually just counted as either east or southern africa but yk). but idk... im worried its a shitty thing 2 do i just dont know what else 2 do with it. maybe i should just use an actual world map instead since im going more realistic with like. the time periods and stuff. IDK i just rly wanna avoid the shit the sims does so much where it lumps a bunch of cultures together like. the chinese world in ts3 world adventures having a torii gate for the icon. -_- yk. the map was kinda superfluous anyway and more judt a way to visualize where the worlds we have were distributed + also was mostly influenced by that one ts4 mod which takes that more simplistic approach but maybe i can just step away from that and just go more realism based Its just hard bc i dont wanna like. lose the more like. silly isnt quite the word (itis kind of but not fully) ig i mean i dont wanna lose the abstraction kind of thing the sims has. but like. I am auite literally making a spreadsheet to get rid of some of the abstraction the sims has so what am i on about. IDK i just have been thinking abt it a lot basically... like sims im already making shit up and locking the sims to like real world history stuff it only makes sense to like. do the same thing with The world and not have it be abstracted. so yes that was a lot of words to say i think im just gonna move to thinking of the sims as living on Basically earth. In my personal the sims palace that ive made up. this is not to say i personally think of the sims as tkaing place on earth or anything ive just decided to do like. Bc this whole thing is basically an au im making anyway like. taking ts3 sims and making them be from the 1950s thats already Not what the game is like. so ill just make it a Realworld sims au. ok yay 👍 thats all sorry for talking sm abt something so pointless and also for not using a SINGLE paragraph break im basically just writing in this like i write in the tags (stream of consciousness) but the tags have the benefit of being naturally split up so yes i dont think anybody is reading this far. when i was little and playing skyward sword for the first time roughly 7-8 years old i got to the like trial on skyloft and i got so scared i smashed the cd so that i wouldnt have to do it . and then i blamed my dog for it. and i did this even tho lamp had JUST started a skyward sword playthru which idk if i knew at the time but i do feel rly guilty abt it. but i was rly scared. ok thats all

[yandere-daydreams]

Title: Homesickness.

Pairing: Yandere!Silver x Reader (TWST).

Word Count: 1.6k.

Commissioned by the very lovely @felix-the-lemon-king.

TW: Unhealthy Relationships, Physical Intimidation, Arranged Marriages, and Manipulation.

“You’re going to miss the ball, beloved.”

You flinched into yourself as you heard his voice, accompanied by the sound of clipped heels against stone floors and the slight reverberation of both disruptions against barren walls. A foolish, naïve part of you had convinced the rest that a royal guard – no, a general would have too much pride to be found absent from his own betrothal celebrations, let alone be seen in a servant’s hall, but you should’ve known better. There were many in Briar Valley who let their pride distort their vision, countless who allowed their rank and titles to overshadow even their most basic sense of rationality. Silver was, tragically, not among them.

And Silver was, tragically, the only resident of the valley you were engaged to.

You didn’t rush to respond. Patiently, you counted the seconds until he was standing at the base of the stairwell you’d took refuge in – not unlike the way you used to hide in spare bedrooms and vacant parlors as a child, whenever your parents were entertaining guests who had too many questions about your pointed ears and the scales on the backs of your hands. And, tangentially, you couldn’t say the bolt of dread that would always strike your chest when you heard you parents calling you out of that day’s chosen hiding place was totally dissimilar to the fear that knotted in the back of your throat as Silver stepped into your line of sight, coming to stand in the doorway at the stairwell’s base. He was still dressed in his regalia, his clothing evenly divided between the pitch-black armor of the royal guards and the formal attire that would be expected, given the occasion. His sword was sheathed at his waist – a sight that, weeks ago, might’ve made you somewhat wary, but that you’d since grown desensitized to. No part of you found comfort in the fact that he seemed to be constantly within arm’s reach of a weapon, but it was hard to be scared of something he never seemed to draw.

It took him a moment to find you in the darkness, his eyes more limited by it than your own, but he seemed to soften as his gaze finally landed on you. “You’ll miss the ball,” he repeated, his tone concerned rather than irritated. Another small blessing – for a knight, your betrothed seemed remarkably slow to anger. “Is something wrong? I know Malleus took charge of the arrangements, but if something doesn’t suit your preferences, I can—”

“It’s beautiful,” you assured, because it was. Because it had been. Because for any little girl from the Briar Valley or any other fae land had been in your place, this all would’ve been nothing short of a dream come true, but you weren’t a little girl, and you weren’t from Briar Valley, and you found very few things beautiful about the idea of getting married at all, let alone to a man you had only recently met. “It’s only…” You curled your hands around the fabric of your own attire. “I’m afraid I’m just… not very good at parties, I guess. I’m sorry.”

You half-expected Silver to frown, to urge you back to the banquet hall he’d come from, but he only sighed, shaking his head in a sympathetic sort of way before taking to the stairs and seating himself beside you, leaving a measured gap between your body and his. “You don’t have to apologize. I know you’re not used to being here, just yet.” He paused, flashed a small smile in your direction. Even at the best of times, you struggled to read his expression – not because he was overly cold, but because he always seemed to radiate that same uncanny, only a touch above off-putting warmth. At least a portion of it had to be insincere. Fae or human, there wasn’t a person alive who could be so consistently affable. “It took me months to adjust, the first time I left the valley. Everything was so alien – if I hadn’t been travelling with my father, I wouldn’t have lasted more than a day.”

It was difficult, but you did your best to smile, to laugh. Although your pairing had seemed strange at first, it did make a twisted kind of sense – a fae born without magic, raised by the human nobility of a country with only negligible ties to Briar Valley, arranged to marry a human with magical prowess in spades, raised in service of a fae king, for the mutual benefit of their homelands. You wouldn’t have been surprised to find out it was a part of some elaborate joke, the type it was rumored your kin were so fond of. It was only unfortunate that you had to be the target of their humor.

“The dark bothers me more than anything,” you admitted, before you could think better of it. “Where I come from, it’s almost always sunny. Having to live someplace without light and with so little warmth—” And so many cruel faces, and so many gnashing teeth, “—I suppose I’m at a bit of a loss.”

“It’s not always like this.” It was the most eagerly you’d ever seen him speak. “You’ve come during a poor season for it, but the view from the castle’s highest tower on a clear day is one of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen, and the valley’s coasts get much more sun. I’ve heard they tend to hold their festivals around this time of year, too.” He seemed to pause, to consider, then went on, “After the wedding, I’d be my pleasure to take you to one.”

At that, you let yourself relax. He was aloof, sure, but he was kind, too. You could be thankful for that, if nothing else. “I was planning to return home as soon as possible, but I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to stay a little longer.”

“Of course.” If you hadn’t known better, you would’ve thought you heard him moving closer to you. “Malleus suggested we continue to stay in the castle while you settle, but… it would be nice, if we had our own home.”

Your delicate smile wavered. “Silver, I know we haven’t talked about this but—”

“Unless you’d like to stay here, I mean. But, I’d still like to show you the cabin where—”

“Silver,” you tried, again, letting out an exasperated laugh. “I meant that I’m not going to stay in the valley at all after the wedding. I understand why I’ve been asked to marry you, and it’s not that I haven’t enjoyed my time here, but—” Another laugh, a pleading glance in his direction. “I don’t belong here, as you wouldn’t belong anywhere but Briar Valley. You know that, don’t you?”

Now, it was Silver’s turn to go quiet. When you found the nerve to look toward him, you found him staring blankly ahead, his lips ever so slightly quirked downward. Huh.

So that was what he looked like, after he’d gone cold.

You didn’t see him draw his sword. His hand was on his hilt, grip tight enough to bleed the color from his knuckles, and then, your back was pressed against the harsh slant of the staircase, the flat of his blade pressed to the base of your throat and Silver above you. You didn’t scream. You didn’t move. You might’ve forgotten to breathe, too, if you hadn’t been shocked enough to let out a single, airy gasp – just loud enough to be audible.

“After the wedding,” he started, speaking slowly, carefully, as if he was afraid you might not understand. “I think you should remain in the valley, with me. I’ll build us a house – a cabin not far from the castle – and you’ll be safe and warm for as long as I can take care of you. Would you like that?”

You opened your mouth, but suddenly couldn’t remember how to move your tongue. Silver angled his wrist, the slant of his blade pressing into tender flesh. “Would you like that, beloved?”

“I---” You forced yourself to swallow, to shut your eyes. “I want to go home, Silver.”

This time, you felt something razor-sharp and frigid bite into the skin just below your jawline, drawing the thinnest possible trail of blood. “And you will.” Then, after a measured pause, “And that home will be with me.”

He wasn’t cruel enough to make you say it aloud. All it took was a quick nod, a pathetically fractured whimper, and he was drawing back, returning his sword to its sheath as he pushed himself to his feet. There was no mention of swords or cabins or the blood now dripping down your neck – only long, weighted look, the implications of which you didn’t wish to examine. “Stay here.” Almost reflexively, you moved to stand, but all it took was a tilt of his head and a flash of his blade to have you falling back into place, paralyzed. “I’ll tell Malleus that you won’t be returning. When I’m finished, we’ll return to our chambers together.”

You hadn’t formerly been sharing chambers, but pointing that out felt redundant, if not entirely useless.

You watched as he started to turn away, only to hesitate and return to you. With a deliberate kind of slowness, he lowered himself onto one knee in front of you, taking your limp hand in his. “Of all the people I could’ve been betrothed to, I’ve found myself increasingly glad that I’m betrothed to you.”

His smile was warmer than it ever had been, and yet, you’d never felt so cold.

“And, eventually, I know you’ll feel the same.”

[pianokantzart]

YES! GOOD! I’m going to just going to analyze the whole dinner scene, because it’s one of my favorite parts of the movie. 

Mario and Luigi walk in, and immediately the whole room lights up to greet them. Despite everything that follows, one thing is clear: The Mario Brothers are happy to see their family, and the family is happy to see them. 

The whole family confirms that they watched their commercial. Everyone except their mom insists the commercial was a bad idea, but the fact that they all watched it speaks to the fact that there is no indifference regarding Mario and Luigi’s dream. They’re eager to see where this endeavor leads, even if they think it’s going to end in failure. 

The moment Mario and Luigi sit down at the table, their uncles begin laying into them like it’s open season on financially struggling plumbers. Just full blown, no-holds-barred roast mode on their nephews.

Mario is on the defensive, but he doesn’t get angry, he’s just trying to argue his side. Clearly this is typical behavior for Uncle Tony and Uncle Arthur. They’re loud, overly honest, and obnoxiously confident in their opinions. Uncle Arthur, thankfully, has his wife to keep him in check. Uncle Tony, however, who is seated next to poor Luigi, is an absolute menace.

Luigi ignores all the teasing. He is only interested in getting food, but this is not an easy task. Tony’s verbal arguments are all directed at Mario, but Luigi is the one who gets prodded and shoved around, and that makes getting dinner next to impossible.

Luigi attempts to serve himself salad, attempts to ask for a roll, attempts to eat the mushrooms being put on his plate, and at every turn he’s either pushed away or talked over. He is clearly very soft spoken compared to the other men in his family, and never quite had the strength to stand up for himself... after all, everyone means well, they just lack self awareness. It isn’t worth the fight. 

Thankfully, Luigi’s mom comes to the rescue, and puts a bowl of soup in front of her boy. She’s the queen of the caretaker role, making sure all the loose ends are tied up and that everybody eats.

But on the flip side, it’s interesting to note that once the uncles start tearing into Mario, Mario’s Dad serves him up a plate of food. He may have just been serving the person next to him because that was the polite thing to do, but I have a theory...

I think that this wasn’t the first night that Mario and his uncles went at each other. I think Mario’s Dad read the room, and figured that if Mario was going to spend dinner playing defense, he should at least remember to eat while doing so.

It also speaks volumes that Mario’s Dad doesn’t voice his disapproval until Mario asks for his opinion. Before then he avoids the subject and lets everyone else do the talking, but so long as he’s being questioned directly, he can’t help but be honest.

“I think... you’re nuts. You don’t quit a steady job for some crazy dream.” This sounds like a voice of experience. Mario’s Dad has the figure of someone who has worked physical labor for a good portion of his life (look the size of those arms). He may have had dreams of his own when he was younger, but he had a wife and kids to worry about, and family took priority. 

Speaking of family taking priority: “... and the worst part? You’re bringing your brother down with you.” That settles it. The conversation has gone from a casual roast session to dead serious. The entire room falls quiet as Mario puts down his fork and storms off. 

“What’d I say?” Everybody at the table (except the niece, she’s long since checked out) gives Mario’s Dad different versions of the look™. Uncle Tony and Uncle Arthur have the same “Jesus Christ bro, you didn’t have to go there” expression, and Luigi just looks hurt on Mario’s behalf. His Dad, however, is just confused.  

He didn’t get the gravity of what he said. His relationship with his own brothers– loudmouthed schmucks who call their own shots – is completely alien to what Luigi and Mario have. He probably knows Mario is protective of Luigi, but he doesn’t realize the depth of responsibility Mario feels for him. Anyone can see that Luigi is loyal to his brother, but Mario alone knows how loyal he is, and the implication that he’s betraying that loyalty is intensely painful. 

I doubt Uncle Arthur and Uncle Tony truly relate to Mario and Luigi’s relationship either, but they’ve probably teased Mario enough to understand one thing: bringing Luigi into it is a line you do not cross.

Conclusion:

There is a lot of love in the Mario family.

Uncle Tony and Uncle Arthur are definitely the most insufferable of the bunch, but there is no malice in their teasing. While they are brash and overbearing, it’s all in good fun, and they get visibly uncomfortable when things go too far and someone actually ends up hurt. 

Luigi seems to take after his mother; kind, nonconfrontational, and happily invested in a supporting role. While his Mom cares for and assists the family, Luigi cares for and assists his brother, both emotionally and in his business ventures.

Mario, in the meantime, takes after his Dad, who appears to be the oldest of the three brothers. He doesn’t always think before speaking, but he isn’t constantly running his mouth like Arthur or Tony, and acts with the gravity of someone who bears a lot of responsibility. He doesn’t quite “get” his sons, but he knows enough to see that Luigi follows his brother everywhere, and Mario does not always think before jumping into things. Despite what Mario may believe, his Dad doesn’t see him as a “joke” so much as he sees him as an impulsive young man who doesn’t grasp the consequences of his actions. But Mario does understand the consequences of his actions, he just dreams big, and... thanks to Luigi... actually has the support he needs to pursue those dreams. 

[lilacthebooklover]

okay but i would watch this

ok I just had a dream I was watching a musical but the musical doesn't exist in real life? crazy. Can't even remember any of it except for one (1) scene :(

rip that musical you will forever be missed

[callsign-rogueone]

you called - b.s.

Brennan Sorrengail x reader You're captured by gryphon fliers while out alone on patrol, but Brennan comes to your rescue. [request] words: 1.7k 🏷: no book spoilers, as this occurs years before Fourth Wing, soon after Bren graduated from Basgiath. gender neutral reader in an established romantic relationship with Brennan. brief / vague descriptions of interrogation, torture, and inhumane treatment of reader by fliers, but Bren mends you and takes care of you (lots of cuddles). your dragon is mated to Marbh. her name is Fuir, a shortened form of the word for "alive" since Marbh means "dead". you sleep in Bren's shirt but there's no description of how it fits on you. wrote this in an hour and didn't edit so be nice pls

It’s easy enough to find the cell block. You’re the only prisoner there, with just one guard posted outside that Brennan makes quick work of, taking the keys from his belt to unlock the door.

He kneels down by your side, comforted by the rise and fall of your chest -- he’d known that you were still alive, because he is, as are Fuir and Marbh, but the visual confirmation is soothing.

He wraps a hand around your wrist to block the pain, using the other to start mending your wounds. Whoever had been interrogating you must have had a very short temper; your temples are bloodied, a few of your ribs bruised or broken, several small cuts dotting the exposed skin of your arms -- they’d taken your flight jacket, as a trophy.

He burns with anger, but forces himself to focus on the good, the fact that you’re still alive in front of him, that he’d found you before it was too late.

You finally open those pretty eyes, struggling to focus your gaze on him, but you put it together quickly enough. “Bren,” you murmur, delirious, “you came.”

“You called,” he answers simply, still working on mending your wounds.

It takes you a moment to work through the thick fog of what is definitely a concussion, but you realize he must have heard your desperate cries for help down the bond and came to find you; your plan worked.

You’d wanted to give up hope after the first day, but accepting your death meant accepting Brennan’s as well, and you couldn’t let him die like that, so you persevered. You’d forced yourself to eat what meager portions of food they’d given you, to drink the foul-tasting water and sleep as much as you could, to keep yourself alive.

Whenever they left you alone, you’d tried to reach for Fuir, for Brennan and Marbh, for your magic, getting no responses. After two days, you realized that they must have put a power-dampener in that water, like the one the professors had dosed you with before RSC to disconnect you from your dragons. So you’d stopped drinking it, pouring it out instead to make it look like you had -- and that night, you’d finally felt that little red string connecting you to Fuir, and the shimmering orange one that leads you to Brennan and Marbh. 

You’d cried in relief, trying to reach out to them, but your words had quickly turned to screams of pain as the officer returned to try to get information out of you again. They must have figured out your scheme, because the beating was the worst that day -- they’d hardly ever left you alone, giving you less than an hour between rounds of questioning.

You close your eyes again, realizing that this is probably a dream, a hallucination brought on by days of isolation in this dark room with only enough food and water to keep you alive. You aren’t really aware of how long it’s been. There’s no sunlight down here, and they haven’t been feeding you on a regular schedule, so you couldn’t keep track by counting the meals, either.

“I thought Navarre didn’t bother with extractions,” you mumble. 

“They don’t. So I might be court-martialed when we get back, but I don’t care. I couldn’t leave you here.”

“M’sorry,” you murmur. “Shouldn’t have gone off on my own. Thank you for finding me.”

“Don’t apologize, love. And I’ll always find you,” he promises, stroking your hair. “We’re tied together, aren’t we?”

You manage a soft laugh that quickly turns into a cough, your throat dry and raw from the screaming and from days without much water.

He decides he’s mended you enough for now -- you should be able to move now without injuring yourself further, and you really need to get out of here. “Up you get,” he coaxes, hooking an arm around your waist and helping you up from the floor.

Someone is waiting for you in the hallway -- someone dressed in black. A rider.  “Nao?” you ask, blinking at him. You really must be hallucinating.

The older rider smiles at you. “Hi, kid. Good to see you in one piece.” He turns to Brennan. “There’s two guards at each exit. We can take them, but they’ll probably sound an alarm.”

The two men continue to strategize, and you try to follow along, but most of the words go in one ear and out the other. You settle for leaning against Brennan and trying to stay awake.

“Hello, sweet one,” Fuir says gently, and you nearly cry at the familiar voice back in your head after days of isolation.

“Hi,” you respond in a whisper.

Brennan and Naolin have agreed on a plan, and you follow them closely, staying by Brennan’s side as they lead you out of the compound. Naolin makes quick work of both of the guards, knocking them out easily, and you slip past the treeline into the forest.

It’s freezing outside, literally -- your boots make tracks through the half-inch of snow on the ground that continues to fall gently, tiny flakes drifting through the air and coating everything in a thin layer of white.

You rub your hands over your arms, trying to keep warm. Brennan drapes his cloak over your shoulders, and you burrow into it, happy to be wrapped in the warmth and softness of the fur-collared fabric and the comforting smell of your partner. 

You finally spot Fuir -- she looks a little worse for wear, too, cuddled up with Marbh, who is licking her wounds like an oversized cat. Cute.

“Can you still make it home?” you ask, concerned.

She sounds slightly offended. “Of course I can. It’s you I’m worried about.”

She lays down, making it easier for you to climb up her leg. As you settle into your seat, you can feel invisible bands of magic keeping you in place -- you breathe a sigh of relief that you won’t have to worry about keeping your seat as you pass over the mountain range. You have no idea how long of a flight it’s going to be, but you don’t think you could handle more than a few minutes in the saddle.

“Now would be an excellent time to leave!” Naolin shouts from his perch on the back of Tairn’s neck.

You turn your head, seeing three gryphons closing in from your right. Shit.

“We’ll be fine,” she soothes. “If we get high enough, they won’t be able to follow us.”

You shut your eyes tightly as the cold wind hits your cheeks, making your eyes water -- they’d taken your goggles too, and all your knives, everything except your base layer of clothing. She raises her head, blocking the worst of it, tightening up her formation with Tairn and Marbh, letting each of them protect you from one side.

“I think we lost them,” Brennan tells you through the bond, and you breathe a sigh of relief. 

Fuir adjusts the invisible ties keeping you seated, guiding you forward to lean against the back of her neck. “Rest. It’s another hour to get home.”

You hum in reply, pulling Brennan’s cloak tighter around your shoulders and relaxing into her. She feels warmer than usual, likely because you’re freezing cold.

You wake to the feeling of the wind dying down, and her wings stilling as she lands.

She settles down into the snowy grass, letting you climb down slowly. 

Brennan is waiting on the ground to help you, gathering you into his arms. “Let’s get you to the infirmary,” he coaxes.

You shake your head no. “Want you to do it,” you say quietly. 

He caves easily, leading you to his room, keeping you tucked into his side with a strong arm around your waist. Nobody questions it or stops you on the way up, your bloodied appearance perfectly normal for a rider.

He settles you into his desk chair, starting to mend the smaller cuts and bruises that he hadn’t gotten to earlier. The warmth of his hands and the feeling of the aching pain subsiding relaxes you, your eyes falling shut.

“You think you can shower?” he asks gently.

You nod. You don’t want to get up, but you do feel absolutely disgusting after the last four days, and a shower is definitely in order. Two showers, probably. 

You follow him into the en-suite bathroom, going through the motions without thought -- washing the blood from your skin, scrubbing off the dirt and making an attempt at washing your hair. Brennan stands by your side, showering himself in near-silence, washing off the day. 

He wraps you in a warm towel, letting you rest against him for a moment. “You should eat something,” he says gently.

You burrow deeper into him in protest. “Later,” you murmur. You just want to sleep. It’s late, nearing lights-out anyway, and you need to rest up for the inevitable scolding you’re going to get tomorrow morning.

“Do you want one of your shirts, or mine?” he asks.

“Yours, please,” you answer quietly; his clothes are always more comfortable, more comforting to you, and you could use that extra layer of his presence right now. You finish drying yourself off, letting him slip one of his black tunics over your head and wiggling your arms into the sleeves.

He pulls the covers back, motioning for you to climb into bed with him. The softness of the mattress underneath you and the feel of warm, clean blankets against your skin after three days of sleeping on a dirty stone floor is overwhelming. You finally start to cry, tears slipping down your cheeks.

“You’re safe, my love,” he soothes, holding you close. “You’re home, with me.”

“I know,” you whisper, trying to steady your breathing. “I know, I just…”

He shushes you softly. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Just know that I love you, and that I will never let anything like that happen to you again.”

You nod against his shoulder. “Love you too,” you sniff. “Thank you for finding me.”

He presses a kiss to your temple. “I will always find you.”

You relax into him, comforted by the warmth of his body against yours, the muscled arms wrapped around you and the smell of his cologne that lingers on the sheets. This is the safest place in the world, right here -- not Navarre, not the fortress, but this room, this bed, because Brennan is in it, holding you.

“Get some sleep,” he encourages. “I’ll be right here with you.”

You hum in reply, nuzzling your cheek into his chest and letting the steady beat of his heart lull you to sleep.

[youalreadyhavefullresults]

all the success stories I can remember off the top of my head

because of a certain account causing people to doubt the law(me included tbh, I'm human too lol), I decided to list off all the successes I've had ever since I've start consciously manifesting. Keep in mind this is only a small portion of them, since I have too many to write all of them down lol.

revised getting into my dream uni

amazing friend group/busy social life

my sp who had been so dry with me now texts me all the time, and we even call for hours(i'm not sealing the deal yet tho because personally I'm still not sure if I like him yet LMAO)

amazing genshin luck

amazing luck in general tbh, like to the point where people point it out and use me to "increase their chances"

daily compliments about the most mundane things(I literally got complimented on my nose the other day out of nowhere 🤨, and other things like i have a cute laugh/smile etc)

people randomly started asking me out despite me never showing interest in them

smart asf, college is actually not that hard for me lol, though ofc i still need to and like putting in effort

changed my personality from an anxious introvert to a social butterfly

manifested my period away, and then manifested it back(because it makes me feel more feminine don't ask me why LMAO), although i never have cramps anymore and it's much shorter now

clear skin

i used to struggle with my hair so much because it was just so frizzy, and now people keep asking me all the time "how you do have such cute curls", and they're so surprised when they find out I do absolutely nothing :p

plus so many more but I can't remember them rn lol

Honestly writing this list was therapeutic for me as well lol, it makes me feel so good to know I was able to do all this with my power alone. If you're feeling doubt rn, I'd suggest you look back on your journey and remind yourself of everything you've done, a great way to cement your faith in the law.

[good-beans]

Please tell me about Lukas.

Sincerely, a poor soul who is obsessed with Milgram but knows very little about Fire Emblem.

Lukas is my beloved character of all time :) Comfort character to rival all comfort characters :) He’s just like me fr :) He’s so healing to watch heal :)

He’s from Fire Emblem Echoes, and for a good portion of the game he’s that mentor/tutorial character who helps you/the protagonist through the new world you’re thrown into. The thing was, they put together an incredibly complex asexual, neurodivergent guy who’s not really in it for the fighting (but is damned good at it anyway). They gave him the sweetest and saddest smile possible. They gave him the most relaxing voice you could imagine. They gave him two of the wackiest and complimentary friends. How could I not fall in love?

Basically, he reveals that he’s not involved in this whole war because he wanted to be – his father and brother conspired to send him away to fight for their own gain, not really caring if he lived or died. He took on the new life with just as much motivation as if he chose it himself, though. He’s not here for any dreams of glory or violence, he just wants to help the new friends he’s made ;-; He has a really big heart, but he’s not afraid to make the tough call and commit war crimes. He’s gentle to the child soldier protagonists, but is the first person to trust them and allow them into the army. 

Fire Emblem is notorious for its fanservice, which is why I will forever be Insane over his support conversation with one of those friends I mentioned. He describes his struggles with romance and desire, perfectly describing an asexual experience. His friend, Python, responds with so much kindness. It’s done with a lot of tact and respect, and was one of the final pieces to my own acceptance of my asexuality. 

Less intended, but he talks about his struggles with emotions that comes off as low-empathy neurodivergence, or a form of Alexithymia. He doesn’t feel strong emotions most of the time, then occasionally gets swept up in them and lashes out. (Sorry for all the tmi but) this is also something I struggle with. Though I come off overly excited online, I’ve dealt with the same coldness/heartless accusations he has. His writing and voice acting really drive it home, and it’s wonderful to see. Once again, he’s treated with immense respect for this trait. He feels self-conscious about it, but the cast sees that as a strength of his.

His relationship with the other two knights is super fun! I could go on separate rants about Python and Forsyth, but just know they are equally perfect. They all compliment one another so well, and hype each other up in such lovely ways. They've even got a fun RGB color scheme going on :3

OKAY I AM CUTTING MYSELF OFF because I could go on forever about him 😂 He holds such a special place in my heart -- it's silly, but thank you sm for asking :’) And, since you mentioned Milgram, this reminded me of a super goofy comparison to Yuno I made as one of my first Milgram posts, as well as my wips of the Fuuta-Lukas outfit swap I need to finish...

[always-outlander]

Outlander 7x05 Easter Eggs and Spoilers - “Singapore”

Spoilers below the cut!

Singapore is the name of this episode, and it opens with goats on a cliff face. This is in reference to the Highlander’s whom fight for the British, we later find out. The title is a direct reference to the battle of Singapore and the attack of the Japanese, which Claire describes to Jamie as a parallel with the impending attack on the fort, which informs his actions for the episode.

Lallybroch

Gem and Mandy are playing in a graveyard, as Mandy wanted to talk to Jamie. Jemmy tells Bree that Jamie told him to leave him a stone and built him a cairn if he ever came to Lallybroch. I try very hard to tolerate Sophie’s acting but she’s so wooden at times. Other times she’s fine (mainly in the more emotional scenes) but her line delivery is quite hard to swallow sometimes. She has changed her pronounciation of ‘Da’ like 4 times now, and that’s hard for me to ignore.

Roger and Bree read another letter from Jamie and Claire. The letter is dated June 18, 1777, which is our ONLY way of knowing the timeline and how much time has passed between episodes. In it, Claire writes that Jamie continues to dream about the children and Bree reveals she’s been to the fort before with Frank. Her and Roger decide not to look at the history books and find out what happened there.

Before Bree heads to work, these two have another attempt at a romantic scene that doesn’t quite land (a hard hat in bed and his hands down her pants just made me uncomfortable). These two try but they just don’t have it!!!! And I think Richard Rankin could if he wasn’t opposite Sophie, as he is a great actor.

Jemmy gets off the bus from school and Roger follows him into his hide out (which I think is referenced in the books as a place Fergus used to play). Roger tries to talk to him about it and Jemmy says he got in trouble at school for defending their family in Gaelic. This child actor playing Jemmy is so great!!! He’s doing such a good job!

Ticonderoga

They have now been there for months, and Jamie once again organically finds himself leading men, this time they refer to themselves as ‘Fraser’s Irregulars.’ Claire is practicing medicine under Lieutenant Stactoe, and the fort is under the command of Saint Clair. We also meet General Formoy (who is mirroring the ignorance of the Bonny Prince). Ian has reunited with them as well.

Sugarloaf hill is mentioned as a point the English can attack from. For those unfamiliar with the location of Fort Ticonderoga, it sits on the edge of the New York and Vermont boarders, along a narrow portion of Lake Champlain. The fort is surrounded by water on three sides, and as of now it doesn’t look like there is a Sugarloaf hill near the site. There’s a sugarloaf ski mountain in Maine, though!

Jamie has a dejavuex moment with Formoy when he uses his knowledge to advice against an attack and is found denied and insulted, akin to a goat for being Scottish (like the episode preview implies). Jamie is once again being sidelined and watching history repeat itself with the ignorance of leaders like Formoy and the Bonnie Prince (and simultaneously history is…happening? But where they know the outcome, could you consider that history repeating itself?).

Denzel Hunter and Claire finally meet towards the end of the episode and the two of them help a man named Walter Woodcock together. It’s the dream team finally united! They successfully opperate on Mr. Woodcock and amputate his leg, but only after Denny so kindly recognizes Claire’s struggle to be taken seriously and back door allows for her to help him.

The Hunters and William

Denzel makes a comment about attending medical school in London via a distant relative after their parents died. Their mother died in childbirth having Rachel, and their father died a few years later in a flood having drown. The Quakers who took them in made that connection for Denzel when they learned of a shared last name Hunter, so this scene hammers home the importance of their Meeting (and reminds us that they are now kicked out).

William and Denzel debate over morals and how Denzel can be within his beliefs while practicing medicine. They come upon a man on the road who offers them a place to stay for the night and they are fed a disgusting meal of rat stew. William is shown the realities of the war and he and Rachel speak outside. In the few short scenes they’ve had you can tell William has a crush on her, which is exactly how the books describe their relationship from Williams internal monologue.

While sleeping, the Johnsons attempt to attack William, Denny and Rachel with knives and William is able to show his strength and skills as a fighter. Charles is such a great casting, as he is every bit the young man described in the book and his size and strength is akin to Jamie’s. The Johnson’s have evidently done this many times before so to steal from un expecting visitors.

William feels guilt over taking that man’s life and tells Rachel that he’d never killed anyone before. This scene you can see Jamie’s heart come through in him. He has a flurry of feelings about it that he cannot sort through and worries that Rachel might think less of him due to her beliefs but she reassures him she knows him well enough to know he did it to save them.

When they part William tells them to ask for his uncle should they run into trouble. He gives them the money from Ian and keeps the rosary beads. When Rachel watches him leave with fond eyes Denny reminds her that he is a British soldier, and violence follows men like that. There’s a sweet scene between the siblings where Denny gives Rachel an out, but she insists they stay together.

Loch Errochry

The Land Rover Bree and her boss drive around in is a dream, I want one. The setting is also stunning, having driven through the highlands last year it’s still so hard to believe that country looks like that. Bree meets her new male employees including Rob Cameron (!!!). He immediately locks her into the tunnel like a jackass and Bree discovers the light they gave her has no batteries. She quickly lights a match and finds some lights and proceeds to inspect the tunnel. I’d be clostrophobic down there and it feels like something out of a nightmare watching her walk through the tunnels.

She hears buzzing halfway down and a weird blue light at the end that she has to walk through (the graphics are strange but hey, hard to depict what was written) and it leads her to her escape. It’s implied that somewhere in the tunnel may be a portal for time travel.

Bree tells the kids at dinner about being trapped in the tunnel and how she escaped but you can tell she’s still unsettled by the event. Her and Roger step away from the table to discuss it. She’s worried the men are never going to respect her and Roger reminds her Claire did it at Harvard. A bit of a turn around from him being slightly sexist last episode about her working in general.

While in the office they uncover a hidden drawer in the desk and he gifts her a pen. Doesn’t undo his comments from last episode but that’s just me, and his insistence on her wearing knickers and a hard hat needs to stahhhhhp.

Bree heads to the bar where the men and Rob Cameron are hanging out and tries to awkwardly earn their respect. They all try and play it off as a joke and she tries to insert her dominance. Sophie also can’t say the word “anything” without a Scottish accent.

Young Ian

Joseph Brant of the Mohawk is at Shadow Lake and Ian is recruited to deliver a letter to him. Ian is reluctant because of personal reasons. He asks Claire how baby’s come to be and why he was unable to get his Mohawk wife pregnant. His belief is that his spirit was not strong enough and fears he cannot get a woman pregnant again and would refuse to take another wife. He tells Claire that Jamie told him about sperm and asks her to look at his (had to laugh). When asked, Ian tells her Iseabell was perfect and not deformed, but Claire has a Frank conversation to help Ian understand that it’s not a matter of his spirit but science and gives him renewed hope he may be able to have a child with another woman one day.

When he arrives at the Mohawk camp he sees Emily, who is happy to see him. She tells him she now has two children and is happy. Ian seems to finally be at peace with that, and asks to meet her son (who does not look Mohawk). He tells Ian that Emily’s mother tells him he’s the child of his spirit. Ian gives him the name Ian James and I’m sat here smiling like a fool over how cute that scene was.

Simon Fraser

One of the few scenes we get with Claire and a Jamie this episode, Jamie tells Claire that a Simon Fraser is one of Burgoyne brigadiers on the side of the British. Book readers will know that he is a ticket home to Scotland for them later on, and Jamie tells her it is not the same Simon Fraser she met in season 2 but not the old fox or his son but one of Jamie’s second cousins from Balnain (located outside of Inverness, not far from Loch Ness). It is also now understood that with their troops low on supplies they will need to attack the fort sooner than later. Jamie knows that a Fraser in the camp, the troops will know well enough to attack from higher ground as Highlanders do.

Jamie brings Formoy and the men to higher ground to show them that it is possible to the English can reach them by cannon, and once again finds himself standing across an incompetent soldier (with a terrible accent). These scenes are so short and choppy, and for that I dislike them. It’s not enough time with Jamie (or Claire for that matter) before we are abruptly switched over to another character. The atmosphere of them walking around at the Fort was palpable in the books, and we are missing it so far in the show sadly.

Later on the British set up shop in the exact place Jamie warned of, and Jamie uses his knowledge how Highlander warfare to help lead an evacuation by boat. Claire won’t allow Walter Woodcock to leave the fort because his injury is still too fresh, and sadly has to leave him. She tells him due to his injury the British will have to show him mercy, but also gives him laudanum. I was surprised she didn’t outright show him how to use it if he needed to drift off to sleep. The civilians are all put into boats in the lake and the fort is abandoned. The next sequence of events in the books is fairly action packed so I’m curious how they go about it all next episode.

Ian and Rachel

When Ian returns to the fort, he spots Rachel. A critique I have of this season is that they make the traveling seem so fast, and it’s incredibly hard to keep track of time passed. Ian was just in Virginia, now he’s suddenly back in New York. That said, these two have great chemistry without even trying, and Ian let’s Rachel know Claire is his aunt. It’s implied they will be seeing much more of one another, thankfully. I think the actors have done a great job of establishing the differences between Rachel and Ian and Rachel and William - Izzy plays Rachel differently around Ian and it’s great work on her part.

In the End

Roger goes out into the dark to search for the Nucklavee and we see a camera angle from across the yard watching the front door of the house. I suspect next episode we will actually set eyes on Buck for the first time.

The episode ends when Bree goes to the graveyard to talk to Jamie and brings him a stone. She tells him about her new job, buying Lallybroch, etc. and it fades to black (a weak ending and my least favorite thus far). Nothing happens this episode action wise, and it was mainly an episode used for establishing upcoming plot. The pacing is getting really bad in that such large expanses of tiem are not being explained. How in one episode did Jamie have two conversations about Sugarloaf Hill and the British Invasion, and The Hunters / William Travel by Horse to New York from Virginia, Ian leave camp to go see Emily and return…it’s so many moving parts and it’s not clear how they all make sense. Even having read the books I’m getting confused with how they are choosing to speed things up.

I will say this until I’m blue in the face, but this show works best when Claire and Jamie are together and on screen, and every time I dislike an episode it’s in large part due to a lack of them. That can be said with this episode, but I’m optimistic we will see much more of them next episode thanks for the preview.

Episode 6 Preview

Preview for episode 6 shows what looks to be an action filled attack on the Fort - we see Jamie attacking British soldiers, William in a red coat again, Roger running into the yard angrily, and Ian and Rachel getting closer. Lots of good things that I hope we get proper screen time to dissect.

[thatstupidlozfanacrossthestreet2]

Y’all

Okay so for my EST folks, I know it’s 3am and don’t tell me to sleep

I’m listening to Quiet and Falling and all I can think about is how the story corresponds with the journey of the game HELP

——————————————————————————

This text includes mentions, but not vivid descriptions of panic attacks, mental illness, and very, very, very slight suggestion of Dissociative Identity Disorder.

——————————————————————————

First Steps - First Steps is the Forsaken City. It’s upbeat yet calm, and at the ending there’s relief from the craziness (yet fabulousness) of the main song. First Steps on healing anything is crazy, but after those first steps? Relief. It feels good. Though it’s tiring, and Madeline sleeps at the end of Chapter 1, she hasn’t given up in her first steps.

Resurrections - Resurrections is a total hit. Both as a song, but in the story, and in the heart, for me, anyway. In a dream, Madeline is trapped within a temple-like place called Old Site. There are weird blocks, everything is off. And…Badeline. Badeline is Part of You. Part of Her, and Part of Madeline. And later in the game, Madeline admits she’s a part she isn’t proud of. They’ve resurrected themself, them being her anxieties, her struggles, issues she needs to work on. And she runs away from them. She’s scared of them. And who wouldn’t be? After Chapter 2, the end cutscene, of course, is displayed. Madeline, calling her mother, looking for reassurance and help through a panic attack.

Scattered and Lost - Green for my buddy Oshiro. Skipping over the others because this would take ages to figure out Postcard from Celeste Mountain and Checking In, we’re dropped at Scattered and Lost. Scattered and Lost is a demonstration of what happens through the healing process, and what happened to Madeline in Chapter 2. After a panic attack, and Badeline promptly pulling the ‘get off my property’ card, (I’m funny laugh. I said laugh) Madeline’s left lost. Her thoughts, scattered. She’s unsure what to do. And she winds up in the Celestial Resort Hotel, where she finds Oshiro. Oshiro is a bit…crazy, to say the least.

Golden - Orange because no yellow. Golden, aside from being about Golden Ridge, Chapter 4, it’s about a turning point. Not my original idea, but I saw it a while ago somewhere. Golden Ridge has long rooms. Wind gives you trouble, just like Madeline gives herself trouble over small things, as later in the game she says she can’t stop thinking about ‘Stupid crap that doesn’t matter’. But at the end…the wind is at her back. She’s giving herself a huge push in the right direction. It’s a golden moment for her. When she finally gets back on her feet! Only to be brutally knocked down again, though, when Badeline stalls out the gondola, and Madeline, yet again, suffers from a panic attack, yet this one much more violent, and it completely knocks her down. Literally.

Quiet and Falling - Chapter 5 is my favourite chapter. Not only is the music good, it helps me to sleep at night, but the gameplay is the perfect crossover between Zelda and Celeste. And I love it. Quiet and Falling, for anyone unsure, is the first song that plays in the Mirror Temple. It’s soothing. Normal, but as a musician, the accidentals imply something else. At least to me. The fact there are accidentals (Which, accidentals, for those unsure are marked notes that sound a bit odd in the original piece, or key signature) imply to me that there are little mistakes, of flaws in what Madeline’s doing. This Temple reflects her thoughts like a mirror reflects her image. And those thoughts are flawed. She’s falling. Slowly. And she’s silent, not asking for help.

In the Mirror - In the Mirror is also part of Chapter 5. It’s the second portion of it. It’s where Madeline breaks down. Unravels, as Badeline says it. Seekers appear. Seekers are monsters I believe reflect Madeline’s thoughts. Creatures, created only to harm her. Just like her negative thoughts hurt Madeline, the Seekers do. Even Theo has troubles in the Temple. He becomes trapped in a crystal of ‘negative psychic energy or whatever’, and Madeline had to carry him out, all while battling herself and her mind, both internally, and thanks to the monsters, externally.

Reflection - Reflection is yet another fantastic piece. I love it. It reminds me a lot of Badeline’s theme, which is Madeline’s theme in a minor key. There’s lots of water in this level. Madeline can see her reflection in the puddles, question who she’s looking at, and who, or what, is looking back at her. An intruder? A monster? Or just a simple, troubled woman seeking help from herself? She’s lost. The rising and falling of notes in this song I believe is Madeline’s anxiety. Rising and falling, spiking each time she has a horrible thought. After all, she did just get thrown down the whole mountain by someone claiming to protect her. She’s scared. Hurting. And extremely lost. Can she do this?

Confronting Myself - This is the fight against Badeline. When Madeline truly battles herself. Faces her problems, rather than run from them, like in Chapters 2, 3, and 5. She’s scared. But not scared enough. She promised herself she’d do this, and she’s going to. And so, she confronts her scared reflection. The music is aggressive, of course, it’s a boss fight. But there’s a section (totally killer section) where it’s Madeline’s theme, but before it can get too far, it switches to Badeline’s theme. But Badeline is forced to give up, as Madeline overpowers her.

Little Goth - I love this song. I can play this song on my flute, and I learned lots from doing it. But we’re not here to talk about that. Little Goth is Badeline’s theme. You can tell. It remind you almost of Old Site, doesn’t it? When she tells you to slow down? But wait. It’s softer. It tries a little harder. The notes are higher. Badeline’s strained herself to try and push back Madeline, who she’s tried so hard to protect from basically going on a death mission. It’s repetitive. Just like she is. Shouting, ‘I’m just trying to help you’ hasn’t gotten her anywhere. But by the end of the song, she and Madeline fuse together, and they hug it out.

Reach for the Summit - Reach for the Summit is upbeat. Not happy, but definitely upbeat. It’s almost triumphant. Madeline’s going to make it. And if she doesn’t? She did what she promised herself she would do. She overcame herself, and finally achieved the incredible goal of not just fighting off, but overcoming and growing from her anxiety, depression, and even the bits of herself she wanted to leave behind. She accepted them. She finally accepted herself. And that’s amazing.

——————————————————————————

Well! I was going to do Exhale and My Dearest Friends, but it’s 3:55 and I have to get up at 6:30. Maybe, depending how many many people like this, I’ll make another for those two.

Oh, TLDR people. Basically Celeste is a great message and the soundtrack is good go listen to it.

If I should tag or put warnings for any other aspect of this, just reblog or comment, maybe tell me in an ask or something. Thanks for reading!

[harufallinwonderland]

I’m feeling bored A bit silly so here is my opinion on what your fav precure Main character says about you (disclaimer I am not saying this is 100% true this is stupid fun I got from fun YouTube videos don’t take this to heart and none of them are meant to be insulting)

Nagisa/Cure black: your deffo A tomboy STAN u either are very athletic like her or absolutely HATE sports but u find her interesting and fun and u are A sucker for A good “extrovert that’s A bit shy sometimes” u think precure reached peak Main character back in 2004 and u either think everything else is trash or u still enjoy it as it’s the legacy that Nagisa (and Honoka) created u just still very much prefer the original mains (also high likely hood that Honoka is RIGHT next to Nagisa in your rankings)

Saki/Cure Bloom: your probably A Nagisa lover who turned into A saki lover when u watched Splash star while u prob still love Nagisa u feel like they perfected the sporty girl with Saki which honestly fair you also prob LOVE older shows I don’t have A reason just kinda give off the vibe (also like the Nagisa and Honoka one u prob have Mai right next to Saki in your rankings)

Nozomi/Cure dream: U probably relate to her problems ALOT don’t ya? Horrible at school work?,no idea what you truly want to do with your life? Trying to take other people’s goals as your own to help you feel like you’re doing something with your life? Don’t worry your A mood like her and I wish you luck you got this also your might be the 2% of people (in America let’s ingore the Jp fandom) who genuinely like Nozococo (shame on you) or your like a lot of other people and despise it with your very being.

Love/Cure peach: (tbh I was struggling on this one so it’s kinda me reaching with this) you are the biggest lover of characters who has so much faith in one character and is willing to go through absolute hell for them and Love and Setsuna is your fav duo in precure you think Setsuna’s redemption arc is peak fiction you will vouch for this girl to the end of the world and you will make sure everyone hears

Tsubomi/Cure blossom: you have A anxiety disorder don’t you? You love yourself A good “shy girl become cool as fuck” character arc but you also love how she still keeps her compassion for others but knows when to step her foot to the ground everytime she gets someone to listen to her instead of treating her like A doormat you will go rabid and while the classic energetic spunky girl may be cool you appreciate Precure making A shy girl A main character (u prob feel seen don’t ya?) also you are in the Tsubomi and Miyuki split and I will explain in Miyuki’s portion

Hibiki/Cure Melody: if you hear someone say Splash star is the most forgotten season of precure your prob gonna snap I’m guessing u just want to yap about it but so much of the time someone getting into Precure forget it exists you want them to see how fun the show it but they always find something else to watch and it makes you wanna scream (totally not based on one of my moots who is A suite lover)

Miyuki/Cure Happy: here we encounter the Tsubomi and Miyuki path split where you either are A shy girl who constantly gets spoken over and not acknowledged by people outside of your close friends (Tsubomi path) or u pretend to be confident to mask how your truely feel (aka Miyuki) if you are shy person who loves shy characters u are either one of these two

(Adding another paragraph for Miyuki cause I hardly talked about Miyuki herself) to you she such A silly little gal you are one of the many people who would fist fight for this girl she brings your ultra happy in A way no other character could and you prob rewatch smile like A addict when your even slightly sad

Mana/Cure heart: You will defend her from the Mary sue allegations WITH YOUR LIFE you love yourself A magical girl MC that’s is able to handle herself she is isn’t clumsy if she wants or needs something she gonna get it and you know she will she may be brash but she can back it up with sheer competence and even when she struggles you respect her for being able to pull herself together and say “welp it was nice cry anyway let’s kick his ass!”

Megumi/Cure Lovely; in the trenches defending happiness charge most overhated season by far to you able to see the the gem in this show and Megumi despite being A lead that tends to be on the lower end of people fav mcs you will love till the end of time and you were prob screaming at the top of your lungs with her final transformation in the last episode (another hard one since I don’t have much thoughts on her but genuine respect to people who love her)

Haruka/Cure Flora: First off you had A princess phase where it was wanting to be one who just liking them u had A princess phase anyway you love A girl who runs headfirst into her goals u either relate to her and take her motivation to move forward to your real world studies/work or u wish u could be like her also u just think she is really cool u watched go princess precure and u were changed as A person

Mirai/Cure miracle: obvious guess is obvious your either A witch, gay, or both you just love her and Liko’s adventures of being moms to Moforun and Ha-Chan and you deffo cried on the second to last episode you love A girl who is willing to go through it for her family and also love her curious nature which started the whole plot also u prob wish you could have what she and Liko have (also like the first two precure leads u prob have Liko right with Mirai in your favs list)

Ichika/Cure whip: you have the desire to block people who think Ichika isn’t much of A character and u refuse to touch Precure Reddit cause of how much shit they talk about Kira Kira (honestly u should avoid the precure Reddit for many other reasons too or Reddit in general) she is YOUR silly little guy who you just want to squish cause she is JUST SO CUTE and you either are Great at baking or A sweets lover but suck at baking no in between

Hana/Cure yell (imma admit A BIT of projection from me as she is my fav ngl): the final episode made you cry and you truly love the journey she went through and she has affected you in some way,shape or form you relate to her backstory A concerning amount but seeing her be able to come out of that situation A better person than she was much before always brings A smile to your face (also if she ever cheered for you imma guess u would prob start crying)

Hikaru/Cure Star: Sometimes when A character is so silly they just capture you with A hand gripped around your heart you love seeing her making friends with anything she sees and her imagination captures your love more. you also prob adore her mom and love seeing how every bit of her life truly led to her becoming every bit of accepting,loving, and imaginative person she is also your mentally unwell about Lala as well

Nodoka/Cure Grace: you only want the worse for Daruizan you don’t care if he is not badly written you want him dead, your fav type of healin good fanart is ones where Nodoka kicks the ever living shit out of Daruizan, you have gotten the urge to make some people in your life watch healin good because of the lesson of “don’t help the people who hurt you again and again”, you have blocked someone cause they said Nodoka should have helped Daruizan and said she was in the wrong (mood)

Manatsu/Cure summer: you love how she really seems like she do be on crack and you just love how silly she is pure vibes with her as you just love watching her kinda like Miyuki she just makes you super happy and you truly want to see Manatsu drink coffee just to see what type of shit she would get herself into she could prob best goku

Yui/Cure Precious: A defender till the day you die she just A girl who loves eating food and you will fight to her defense your cuteness aggression makes you want to eat her like A riceball

Sora/Cure sky: your fav color is probably blue, you love yourself A hero who can do cool shit even before becoming A cure, you adore Mashiro A totally not normal amount as well, unhinged for those two if you talk about Sora at some point u will gush bout Mashiro for A bit, she just really good such A true hero

Komugi/Cure Wonderful: dog owner and lover (you probably have attachment and abandonment issues like her don’t you?)

[brick-a-doodle-do]

I’m a little late but fake fic titles if you would still like them :3

Questionable actions and a carrot

A piece of cake

Your no*1 fan

In a figurative and literal sense

All mine

Can you tell I wanted to be obscure? :3

agh. very obscure i love it :D i got an idea for one of them and now feel obligated to do all of them at once before i bury them in my drafts,,,,,,

questionable actions and a carrot

lately, wilbur'd seemed stressed. tommy understood, with the struggles of holding independence for l'manburg, he new the ruler would be stressed. so he wanted to offer his condolences and try to help his leader out.

after trading with ponk and sam and everyone else who was willing to help him, he finally had it: a shrinking potion.

shrink wilbur, force him to rest. that was his plan.

while he couldn't cook, he knew niki could, and tommy had immediately sought her help. reluctantly she agreed and the two organised a picnic/pot-luck type event for the recent winnings of their nation.

only thing was, niki and tommy had made stew and mixed in the potion to wilbur's portion.

in the end, wilbur wasn't exactly happy. but tommy did make sure to shut him up pretty quickly (he stuffed him in his pocket, gave him a shrunken carrot to calm the tiny, and went about his day)

a piece of cake

dream doesn't know why he stopped ghostbur from inviting the people to tommy's party, or why he'd sent the ghost off into the wilderness on top of it. maybe somewhere in the back of his mind, he didn't approve of it and thought it to be too friendly for an exile. or maybe he just wanted tommy to himself. he'd never exactly hated the kid, sure he was annoying, but he offered excitement. and lately their shared moments where he didn't have to fight for some quality time was pretty great. so maybe that's why he's here, standing in front of the nether portal, waiting for the motivation to go through.

when he does, the tiny is there already, sitting on the beach by the table he'd set up with dream just a few days before.

the two got into a pretty quick argument thanks to tommy's constant bickering and irritable self. but dream pulls the evening together pretty quickly. he'd made a small trident for the kid and had the cake that tommy had made. and the day ended with tommy eventually falling asleep in the crook of his neck. he wouldn't admit it, because tommy would've fucking killed him (both of humiliation and anger), but he'd left logstedshire and kept the tiny in his mouth for the time being. he had covered up his guilt surprisingly quickly.

your no*1 fan

tommy had heard many rumors of a famous leviathan hybrid that roamed the oceans just outside of the town, and he was determined to find it. he'd tried since he was a kid, just six years old trying to sneak a boat away without paying for it. sometimes it'd work and he'd sail around for a couple minutes before getting caught. he'd made a deal with the owner of the boat shop though after a while: if tommy promised to help search as often as he could, there wouldn't be a word about his stealing to his family. ever. and after a while, tommy grew out of the deal and he and quackity became good friends, and phil and wilbur knew all about his adventures with him.

tommy even got his own boat!

eleven years had passed and tommy was growing hopeless. at his core, he always believed in "karrohaird", but maybe he was too awesome for tommy.

until his very last outing, where he'd decided to go earlier and pass the time by fishing.

the area had been empty for a while, and he hadn't caught a single thing.

and when he did, he was surprised to find something that was very much not a fish. karrohaird. but...much smaller than he'd ever expected. immediately, he emptied a jar he'd collected shells in and swiped it in the sea, put the mer in, and sealed it as tight as he could. holy shit. he'd finally found the monster he'd spent years looking for.

--

technoblade had seen the bottom of the same boat for years. the human seemed more eager than any other child or adult he'd ever seen. and him, being a sizeshifter, decided he owed it to the kid. but just because the fish had all fled at his arrival and he was bored he thought this way.

in a figurative and literal sense

(VERY MUCH BASED OFF OF "FIELD NOTES" BY OWL CITY)

also please get why i made the scavenger/tiny wilbur. please. i will cry if you don't. this is the entire purpose of the fake fic /vlh

technoblade was just starting to build a life in the overworld, trying to find first a job, which had proven difficult. on his way home, he had gotten distracted by a skeleton that must've wandered too far out of the woods. his instincts yelled at him to follow after it and kill it, which led to him abandoning his car to chase after the thing, who had seemed surprisingly vulnerable and scared of the sudden attack.

he chased it through the fields, and right into a water-filled ditch. despite the inconvenience of being soaked, he still killed the thing and found his way out of the ditch after deeming satisfactory from the way his voices calmed instantly.

on his way out, he noticed something shimmering in the setting sun.

curious, and his voices whirring again at the sight, he dug in the mud until he found the source: a rather elegant old box with jewels dotted across and intricate lines. it looked beautiful. and something, not just the hint of gold, drew him to it.

when he opened it after much struggle, he found a scavenger. one of the rarest and most valuable things in the dimension. it was infinitely small, drained-out looking and curled up in the corners of the box. it's brown curls obscured what he could only imagine to be a soulless and tired face.

all mine

so what if he sold a little bit of drugs? why was he of all the murderers and assholes in the prison sent to the scp foundation to serve as bait for these fucking monsters?

first off, this technoblade guy was rude as shit, and he'd immediately thrown him in a cell with a bunch of other poor class d's who didn't know what they were getting into. neither did quackity, to be fair, he just knew it was bad.

and now he's being handed off to a scientist named wilbur who was almost eager to send him off to conduct tests with an scp, who apparently was friendly but also very much not (wilbur's words, not his). it had similarities between 999 in looks. but that still didn't calm him down.

when the time came, he was shoved into a room with what had to be a fifteen foot tall glob of green slime. he was told never to smile around it, and then spent the evening doing just that. the slime was friendly with him, and apparently as it was new even wilbur was blown away by the fact that it could have a simple conversation with quackity.

and unfortunately quackity felt fond of it.

so he'd left, then came back the next day ready to start more experiments. until the thing made some comment that had been so simple it made him laugh, which made him smile.

and now, he's encased right in the middle of the incoherent body of slime.

eee im very slowly getting into the scp stuff so i thought it'd be cool to make a fake fic out of it :D

[ro-valerius]

((I have had a large portion of this flashback sequence written for several months, figured it'd be a shame to never use it, so here. It's uh. Long. Very VERY long, and has a few subtle nods to current events in it ehe))

Miyu had just left, due to much prompting from Tofu and the rest of the family to go out and get some air, and Kore was meant to come watch over him in his fevered state. He wanted to say he was feeling better, after all of the care Miyu had put into him, but the way he sank to and fro between dreams and memories didn't seem like such a good sign...

~~~

*10 years ago*

“Where’s your friend to help you now, rabbit?” the young man spat as his fist connected solidly with Tofu’s face again, this time splitting his lip, a bruise already forming under his eye from the last punch thrown at him. Tofu glared at him, a constant thorn in his side from the moment the young viera learned to throw a fist. Or, more accurately, the reason he had even had to learn to throw a fist. A Hyuran man, not much older than he, and of a similar status in life; street rat with no family to their name. 

“I don’t need him to stand up to you, Etgar,” Tofu growled, swiping the blood off of the split in his lip quickly as he stepped forward to retaliate. 

He didn’t get far before two of Etgar’s lackeys grabbed him by both arms and held him in place. He struggled against them as Etgar strode forward unhurriedly, a wicked smile spreading across the hyur’s face as he adjusted the metal knuckles to fit more comfortably on his hand. His impatience won out in the end and he closed the final steps quickly, landing a solid blow to Tofu’s ribs. His smile widened as the rush of adrenaline hit him and he struck again and again, a heavy purple bruising already beginning to spread from under the edge of Tofu’s shirt. But he refused to cry out, refused to give Etgar that satisfaction. 

Tofu’s mind raced as he tried to figure out a way out that wasn’t to simply resort to violence, but he couldn’t find any other option and brought his foot down hard on the side of the leg of one of the lackeys restraining him, his immense viera leg strength easily snapping the bone under his foot. The lackey cried out and crumpled to the ground, clutching his leg in pain as Tofu grabbed the other lackey with his now freed arm, turning and flipping the other man over his shoulder easily before slamming him down on the ground with force. The air left the other Hyuran man’s lungs, stunning him and giving Tofu enough time to turn on Etgar, dropping and swiping his foot along the ground, knocking Etgar’s feet out from under him. 

A shout came from the end of the alleyway Etgar had cornered Tofu in, and he snapped his attention over to see a Brass Blade calling out for them to halt, more Blades appearing from out of sight. A low growl escaped from Tofu’s throat as he turned and started running away from them; he didn’t have the best reputation with the Blades and wasn’t keen on spending time in a gaol cell…again. He realized quite quickly, however, that the alleyway ended in a deadend and cursed. 

The Blades that had pursued him caught up, knocking him to the ground while one of them planted a boot on his shoulders to pin him down as they restrained his arms behind his back. Once restrained, the Blades hauled him to his feet and began to escort him back out of the alleyway. As they passed the men that cornered him to begin with, Tofu could see that they were being arrested as well and chose to find some measure of pleasure in that fact. And with that, he was led once more to the gaol.

He sat in the corner of the cell he had been thrown in, as far away from the adjoining wall to the cell beside his, where the other three were held; the Blades may not be fond of him, but they weren’t dumb enough to put the two sides of a fight in the same cell. In contrast to the moaning men in the other cell, each bellowing complaints about how “that rabbit” had brutalized them, or whatever else they could think of to demonize Tofu and make themselves look demure in the process, Tofu sat silently, a hand pressed against the deepening bruise across his ribs. An older man walked in, a familiar face to Tofu, who spent more time there than he liked to admit; the warden, of sorts. He caught sight of Tofu and sighed deeply.

“Yer back again? What happened this time- Hey shut yer yappin’ over there, the lot o’ ya.” He glared daggers at the three men in the cell beside Tofu before bringing his attention back over to the viera. Tofu glanced sidelong at Etgar before turning his attention back to the wall he was leaned up against.

“Got in a fight,” he murmured with a shrug. The old man pulled up a stool and sat down in front of Tofu’s cell, measuring him with his eyes and noting the bruising under Tofu’s eye, across his ribs, and the split lip he was sporting. He sighed once more and shook his head.

“I know ya, boy. If it were fightin’ that got ya thrown in again, the investigation will be done soon and they’ll let ya go. Ain’t never knew ya as the sort to go startin’ nothin’, so I’m willing to bet it was self defense again. Ya always seem to have an eye witness to prove yer innocence, and I’d be madder about it if it weren’t Etgar and his lot, or Tuturoko and his lackeys, every time. Dunno what you did to piss of both groups, and even though yer a known pick-pocket and thief, most citizens like ya a helluva lot more ‘n they like those two groups-” 

“You’re rambling again, Jens,” Tofu cut in after listening for a bit. The older man sighed again. 

“Yeah yeah… Ah, here comes one o’ the Blades now, I’ll go see what he has to say,” he said, standing up once more as the sound of heavy boots echoed more fully into the cells and heading back towards the reception area of the gaol. After a few moments of muffled conversation, Jens returned, giving a nod to Tofu. 

“Just as I thought, self defense, multiple witnesses said. Yer free to go, Tofu,” he said, pulling the ring of keys off his belt and unlocking the cell. From the other cell, Etgar and his lackeys shouted their complaints, specifically bemoaning the broken leg of the one. Jens barked at them to “shut their yippin’ mouths'' as he opened the cell for Tofu, giving a soft smile. “See ya again next time ya get caught with yer hand in the cookie jar, as it were.” 

Tofu gave a soft nod in return and pushed himself to his feet, casting a last glance at Etgar, a look of boredom more infuriating than any glare he could have shot at him, before making his way out of the gaol, not for the first time that month. 

He had to shade his eyes from the relentless Thanalan sun as he transitioned from the darkness of the covered walkway leading to the gaol to the outside, wincing as his eyes adjusted. He cast a glance around, checking corners, before letting out a sigh and heading towards the markets. He wasn’t quite sure what he intended to do yet, but he felt like he was being led for a reason. As he made his way to the markets, he pulled down the side of his cropped shirt a little, trying to hide the bruising; if Tuturoko and his crew could easily tell Tofu had been in a fight already, they were more likely than not to take advantage of it. 

The murmur of voices from the markets grew louder with each step and Tofu cast his eyes around warily. He took note of the children playing in front of one of the market stalls, he noted the woman setting out items on the balcony above from what he could safely assume was a storage area, perhaps to clean up the dust, he noted each merchant shouting their wares and the people browsing them. He paused a few feet from the playing children as he considered what brought him there to begin with. He wouldn’t have to wait long to find out.

In a span of seconds, he heard the sound of ceramic scraping across wood from the balcony above and looked up to see a large vase as it began its fall to the ground below. He saw the small child directly below the vase, and before he even registered what he was doing, he rushed over, enveloping the child just in time for the vase to crash into him instead of the child. 

The vase connected with the back of his head, sending the world spinning and colouring the edges of his vision white. A woman’s voice called out from behind him something he vaguely registered as “Let go of my daughter” but his arms had already gone limp at his sides. The child looked up at him, a girl of around eight years old with a dusting of freckles, golden eyes, and dark brown hair. He tried to flash a comforting smile at her.

“You okay?” he asked softly. She stared at him in shock, but nodded in response. “Good.” 

“Juliana, come here now!” the woman behind him, the girl’s mother he assumed, called firmly. 

“He protected me, mama. I think he…” the girl’s voice trailed off as his knees gave out from under him. The woman took in the sight of the broken pieces of ceramic scattered on the ground around him and the blood that had started to show, stark red against the soft orange of his hair. With a sigh, she walked around to the front of him, gently pulling her daughter back and stepping in front of him.

“S-sorry, I wasn’t trying to do-” he started, trying to figure out which of the swimming figures in front of him was the right one to look at. Her lightly coloured hair reflecting in the sun didn’t help matters much. She watched his eyes dart around as he struggled to focus and held out a hand. He stared at her in confusion for a moment before she leaned down and grabbed his hand herself, pulling him to his unsteady feet. “Wha-”

“Come on, let’s get you looked at,” she said, her voice taking on a more gentle tone with him as she draped his arm around her shoulders to steady him. The viera safely settled, she motioned for her daughter to follow as she helped Tofu towards the more residential area. 

He barely registered what directions they took, too out of it to take note of where they were heading. He pressed a hand to his head as if that would help him stabilize the spinning. The more they walked, the more he started to drag his feet, each step becoming more laborious than the last. They came to a door to what he eventually realized was a small house and the girl rushed forward to open the door for her mother and the viera to enter. The mother smiled and patted the girl gently on the head as they entered, leading the viera over to a chair in what looked like a dining room and helping him settle onto it. 

“Keep an eye on him, if he starts to fall over, keep him steady, okay?” the woman said before leaving the dazed Tofu on the chair to get her first aid kit from the kitchen storage. The little girl, Juliana, nodded and stood beside Tofu, a small hand resting in what she hoped was a comforting manner on his shoulder. 

“U-um, thank you, mister,” she murmured softly. He glanced away, feeling a light blush colour his cheeks. He wasn’t used to people expressing gratitude towards him.

“A-ah. Mhm,” was all he could muster in response. 

The woman returned with the household first aid kit, a bowl with warm water in it, and a clean cloth, setting everything down on the table beside Tofu. She stepped around behind him, moving his hair out of the way until she could find the source of the bleeding. She grabbed the cloth and set about cleaning up the wound, and Tofu did his best not to wince. Once she was satisfied with the state of the injury, she set a hand gently on his shoulder.

“This next part won’t be fun. To keep your head from bleeding further, I’ll have to stitch it. Don’t worry, I’ve got medical experience. I was a chirurgeon before I became a mother,” she said softly. He made another soft “mhm” in response and braced himself mentally for the task. 

He wasn’t quite sure what he expected, but the sensation that followed was somehow both the same and wholly different than he expected. The pain wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be, though the pin pricks were still unpleasant. Once she came to the end of the cut, she tied off the thread and set about cleaning the blood out of his hair carefully. 

“There, all done. You should rest here until you’re more steady on your feet,” she said gently. His eyes widened as he glanced around out every window, the panic clearly as day written across his face.

“I-I can’t- I mean, that’s not a good idea, what if-” She looked at him carefully, and as if she were able to read him, she responded.

“If you are afraid of someone finding out you are here, don’t worry. My husband should be home soon, and he can protect us if anything happens. It’s okay, relax,” she said with a smile.

“How did-”

“You look like you lost a fight already. Bruising under your eye, split lip, and, though you tried to cover it with your arm, I can see the dark bruise peeking out from under your shirt,” she said pointedly. He looked away sheepishly. Of course she was dead on, and his expression told her all she needed to know. 

As she set about clearing away the medical supplies, the front door opened once more as a man of solid stature walked in, with dark hair that matched Juliana’s and wearing a uniform that labeled him as an Immortal Flame. He caught sight of the dazed viera sitting at the dining table and raised a brow at his wife. She met his eyes and smiled before taking in his confused expression. She gestured over at the viera vaguely a moment before returning to cleaning up. 

“He protected our daughter, but he’s got a head injury for his trouble. Actually, if you could help him to the spare room to rest, that would be appreciated, love,” she said, once more smiling warmly at her husband. The man spoke as he made his way over to the viera.

“Did he now? I feel like I know his face, think he’s caused problems for the Blades in the past,” he said, lifting up Tofu’s face by the chin and examining him more closely. But even he could tell that Tofu was dazed and helped him to his feet. “This way, kid.” His voice had taken on a more gentle tone as he led Tofu towards the hallway and into a room, settling him down carefully on the bed. “Rest easy, kid,” he murmured before making his way back out to his wife. And as Tofu laid there, he couldn’t keep himself from drifting off. 

~~~

He could clearly remember exchanging names with them when he woke up; Maddock, Nelwyna, and Juliana Holt. A member of the Immortal Flames, a retired chirurgeon, and their young daughter. He remembered Nelwyna laughing good naturedly as he fumbled to explain why Maddock knew his face and explain the name he went by, remembered how she smiled warmly at him, remembered how they invited him to stay for dinner. He remembered how they told him he was welcome in their household, how they told him not to be a stranger. He remembered how, when he left their house that night, he vowed to never go back, never let them get involved in the violence that seemed to find him no matter where he went. And he remembered how he broke that vow soon after. 

~~~

It hadn’t even been that long, a couple of days at best, since Etgar and his crew cornered him, since he took that vase to the back of the head. He had tried to lay low, stay out of sight, tried to be careful, but somehow, Tuturoko and his gang found him anyway. The lalafell by himself wasn’t threatening, but the two roegadyn men and the highlander man that followed him were where the threat lay. Tofu glanced around each of them as they surrounded him, trying to find an escape. Tuturoko grinned and snapped a finger at the roe standing behind Tofu.

“Hold him, bring him to my level,” he ordered. The roe behind Tofu wrapped his arms around Tofu’s body and kicked the back of his knees, forcing him to kneel in front of the lalafell. Tuturoko grabbed him roughly by the chin and studied his face, still grinning. “Looks like you got into a fight, dear Tofu. Let me guess, Etgar and his lackeys?” He paused for a moment, not expecting a response, but taking the steel in Tofu’s eyes as an answer. “From what I hear, you got off scott free even after breaking one of their legs.”

“So it wasn’t a guess, you heard about it,” Tofu pointed out. 

“Tell me why, dear Tofu, is everyone so willing to be lenient with you, and only you?” Tuturoko asked, ignoring Tofu’s statement. Tofu scoffed, a humourless grin spreading across his lips.

“Maybe because, unlike you and Etgar, I’m not a total asshole,” he said. Tuturoko’s face darkened and a sharp pain pierced Tofu’s ribs, almost dead center of where the bruise had only deepened from before. Tofu’s eyes widened as he felt blood begin to pool in his mouth. Tuturoko leaned in closer as he pulled the knife back out of Tofu’s ribs. 

“Do not equate me to Etgar,” he growled. Tofu pushed aside the pain enough to glare at the lalafell, making a brash decision to defiantly spit a glob of blood at his face. Tuturoko closed his eyes as he took a deep breath, wiping the blood off of his face before turning and starting to walk away. “Make him regret his choices,” he ordered the highlander while beckoning for the second roe to follow him. As the lalafell walked away, the highlander fell on him and the roe holding him continued to pin his arms to his sides.

He couldn’t be sure how long the beating went, but he could be sure that by the time they scattered, a few of his ribs were broken. At some point, the roe didn’t even bother to hold him down, he couldn’t fight back anymore anyway. He cradled his hand close to his chest, hoping nothing was broken there as well as a deep bruise formed across the back of his hand. He couldn’t move to check the rest of his body, let alone see outside of a small circle in the center of his vision. His glasses were either broken or long gone, but they definitely weren’t on his face anymore. 

He heard rushed footsteps as someone ran over to him, saw a pair of boots enter his small field of vision, and heard someone familiar speaking to him. They knew his name. It wasn’t Jens, but he couldn’t place the voice. The person crouched in front of him, the familiar blue-gray of the Immortal Flames uniform ringing a bell in Tofu’s head; Maddock. Maddock tucked his arms under Tofu’s body and lifted him up easily, earning a pained groan that the viera couldn’t bite back in time. As the movement jostled his injuries, darkness swallowed him whole. 

~~~

Once more, he had been indebted to Nel and Maddock. Maddock had asked the goldsmith’s guild to replace the glasses that Tofu had lost in the scuffle. As often as Tofu had tried to leave for their safety, they had stopped him; easily, considering his condition. He had ended up with several broken bones that Nel had brought in a friend to help heal with magical means. After a week of daily treatments, he could use his hand normally again. With each passing day, he grew more and more antsy about staying with them. It wasn’t long before he discovered his anxieties were well-founded…

~~~

His vision ran red with fury as he laid eyes on the man holding a knife to her throat. She was just a child, what cruel, heartless person could threaten a child?! The answer came more obviously than it should have; Tuturoko. Etgar had never been the sort to use bladed weaponry, but Tuturoko had no such qualms. Etgar liked to feel like he had power over Tofu by being stronger, but that desire didn’t hold a candle to Tuturoko’s unbridled zeal for causing pain. The hyuran man holding Juliana at knife-point wasn’t one Tofu recognized, though the highlander and the two roegadyn men were once more present. 

In a flash, he rushed the man holding Juliana, grabbing the blade of the knife before the man could press it to her throat. He didn’t care that the blade bit deeply into his hand, he lifted the man’s arm, knife and all, over Juliana’s head, and with his other hand, grabbed the man’s face and shoved him backwards, away from the young girl. He positioned himself between her and the men that had taken her, instructing her to go find her father, even as the other men rushed him. 

He didn’t even kid himself into thinking he could escape unscathed. Though he put up a hell of a fight, he was still just one lanky teenager against four men, three of whom were much larger than he was. By the time Maddock came with a handful of Immortal Flames, Tofu was once more barely conscious, bleeding, and battered, but he was standing. Infuriatingly, the men escaped, even as the Flames pursued them. Maddock remained with Tofu, inspecting the damage. Tofu offered a weak smile, as if that would reassure the older man.

“Juliana’s okay?” he asked, his voice strained as he tried not to let on how much pain he was in. 

“Thanks to you. Not a single hair out of place. How do we even begin to repay you…?” Maddock responded, shaking his head. He stopped scanning the viera’s body to meet his eyes instead. “Nel’s gonna wanna treat you sooner rather than later. Let’s getcha back home.” Tofu shook his head and stepped away from him. 

“N-no. I’ve put your family in enough danger already,” he said, firm even through the darkness that had slowly started to drown him once more. Maddock sighed and gave Tofu a stern look. 

“Kid, it’s too late for that sort of thinkin’. They already know our faces. May as well commit, now that we’ve come this far,” he said, his expression warming as he spoke. “Come on, let’s get you home.” 

Home. Once more, the word rang through loud and clear. Maddock wasn’t saying ‘my home’. He was just saying ‘home’. As if, somehow, it included Tofu. Tofu’s chest tightened as pressure built behind his eyes. This wasn’t a feeling he was familiar with, and it frightened him. Maddock noticed the change in his features and softened, stepping towards Tofu and gently pulling him so that his face was hidden in the front of his shoulder. 

The action broke Tofu. Everything Tofu felt spilled out all at once; he couldn’t remember the last time he cried, or if he ever even cried at all. Everything that had built up in his chest over his entire eighteen years of living that he had buried could no longer be held back as his battered hands gripped the back of Maddock’s uniform tightly, pressing his face further into the older man’s shoulder. 

~~~

How he wished that had been the last time he had cried. Once more, Nelwyna had nursed him back to health. Julilana had taken to him, putting flowers in his hair at every opportunity as he stayed with them to recover. Carnations, always red carnations, the kind her mother used to grow in the planter outside of the window. The Flames had started keeping a closer watch out for Tuturoko and his lot, but the rats kept scurrying out of sight every time they got close. 

One day, after Tofu had recovered enough for Nel to let him leave, he had gone to the markets to try and find something, anything, to repay the Holts for everything they had done for him. He had bought two rings, one for Nel, and one for Maddock; two silver bands with stones inlaid, one black and one blue. He had also bought a stuffed bear for Juliana, one with a pink bandana around the neck.

He remembered how he had begun to head back towards the house, how he had noticed a single column of smoke rising from the residential area. Dread had settled at the pit of his stomach. And while he hadn’t been immediately sure that it was the Holt residence, he had an overwhelming feeling that the smoke was coming from the exact area where they lived. He had hoped it was a neighbor’s house, or something in the yard or the street, but even so, he had run as fast as his legs would take him to the place he had finally felt at home…and nearly crumbled to the ground in grief. 

He remembered how he couldn’t breathe and how his chest ached, remembered how the bag holding the bear and the rings had dropped to the ground as he darted for the collapsed house, digging through the still burning remains of the building until his hands were burned and bleeding. With painful cries, he had called out their names.

He had been pulled backwards by rough, gloved hands, his blurry eyes fixated on the flames that surged before him. He hadn’t been able to tell when he had started crying. He never did figure out if the weight in his chest had been from the smoke or his guilt. He hadn’t been able to protect them… It was his fault, of course it was his fault, they had helped him and of course they had to suffer for it, to die for it. He remembered how he had managed to pull away from the Immortal Flames that had dragged him away from the building, but he had only taken a couple of steps towards the house before he fell to his knees...

Sometime later, a Flame had approached him, wooden box in hand. They had told him that Maddock had gotten a set of knives commissioned for Tofu after the first time he found the viera bleeding on the ground. They had told him how Maddock viewed him as a son, as short a time as they had known him.

That was the last time he had cried.

~~~

...How he wished he could forget.

[ashs-random-writing]

Time from Inside the Clock

Ao3

REBLOGS>>>>LIKES

--

Virgil woke up that morning like usual, except the human found him. He wished for the day to start over so he could live without being found. It worked, and now things would be perfect if the human would just stop finding him every day.

--

When Virgil woke up, it was with a gasp. He couldn’t remember what dream had elicited this reaction, but he was still freaked out. 

He ventured out of his bedroom, and through his tunnel system towards the large grandfather clock in the human’s house. He could get inside the clock with the tunnels, and he would rather do that to check the time than venture out into the open.

The clock was taller than even the human himself, but Virgil knew how to climb quickly. He looked at the numbers in their mirrored state, and read that it was 3:13 am

The human usually woke up at seven, so he could do a borrowing run if he wanted. He would need to that day anyway; he was running low on food, and he knew he wouldn’t get a chance for the next few days at least. He exited the clock and walked towards the kitchen.

His human was loud, loved bright colours, art, was impulsive and was just about the exact opposite of Virgil. He had painted his kitchen different shades of red, with patterns on most cabinets. Some had rainbows, some had flowers, and other patterns that were far too bright when Virgil had just woken up.

It was an old house, so a lot of walls had texture to them, and so did a lot of furniture. It was perfect for borrowing, even the tunnels were a lot more practical than the newer ones. Though, that wasn’t blaming the borrowers that built newer tunnels, it was blaming the humans that were making their walls so thin nowadays

His tunnels were amazing; one passageway even led out to the garden for quick escapes. His only problem with them was the fact that the main portion of the tunnels (like the storage rooms and bedroom) were underneath the floorboards. And, with how loud the human was, this really disrupted Virgil’s sleep. Virgil almost wished that just once he could tell the human to shut up, to walk lighter for once, to not walk like an elephant.

He knew the human wasn’t doing it on purpose, but it was still majorly annoying and gave Virgil frequent migraines. He threw his hook onto the kitchen counter, and climbed. The food that would stay good for a while was in the cabinet with the flowers, so he threw his hook again

He shoved food into his bag, and slung it back onto his shoulders. When he was climbing down, he started to hear footsteps. His heart started racing, and his thoughts ran at a mile a minute. It was nowhere near seven o’clock yet, what was he doing awake?

Virgil was still very much out in the open, and there was no way he’d be able to climb down in enough time to hide or get back into his tunnels. He clung to his string and braced himself for whatever horrors awaited him when the human inevitably saw him.

He heard the human yawn and the light flickered on. He held his breath and prayed that he wouldn’t be seen. But, he knew it was pointless. The human gasped, and suddenly he was being grabbed in hands that were too big and too tight.

He yelped. One of his arms was restrained, but the other was outside of the grip. It was very uncomfortable, and very terrifying. He struggled, trying to figure out what to do. 

“What are you? Why are you in my kitchen? What are you doing? What’s your name? Do you have a name? If not I could name you, I suppose... I’m Roman” The human trailed off, and Virgil tried to ignore his discomfort at the idea of being named

He refused to answer the human’s questions, so he didn’t give away any sensitive information that could put other borrowers in danger. He was still struggling in the grip, and the human seemed amused at that. His captor started walking towards his bedroom, likely for something to contain him (assuming Virgil’s conclusion that he wanted to keep him to be correct)

Virgil didn’t like the feeling of being moved against his will. The human deposited him onto a shelf that (unfortunately) wasn’t connected to any tunnels and was too high up for him to jump down with his hook and string still in the kitchen. He shook, watching the human rummage through boxes until he found one with high enough walls that he wouldn’t be able to escape

He tried to calm his breathing down, and tried to think of a way out. Roman was still looking for a suitable box, so he had an undetermined amount of time to think

He had left most things in the tunnels, so he didn’t even have his needle, or his spare hook, or anything but his bag. He rummaged through his bag for something, anything, that could help. Nothing. Nothing but food that he had stashed earlier. Roman was walking back to him, box in hand. Virgil panicked, and threw a cracker at the human

Roman was only momentarily puzzled, before looking back at the borrower with a more annoyed expression. Virgil’s heart raced, and his brain was screaming to run.

“That wasn’t very nice” The human was still loud. Even more loud than usual, since Virgil was actually in the same room as him for once.

Virgil could barely hear him over the blood rushing in his ears and his brain’s screaming to run, to hide, to do anything except be out in the open. Roman reached out to grab at him, and he hissed.

Roman paused, a confused expression on his face. It didn’t last long and soon, he was back in that hand that was too tight.

He didn’t think. This was the thing he’d been training his entire life to avoid, all he could do was panic. He bit down on the finger closest to him as he was moved throughout the air

Suddenly he was falling. Straight into the box. He landed at an awkward angle on his arm, and couldn’t help the scream or sobs that forced their way out. He could make out Roman’s face above the box’s opening, looking concerned

Virgil didn’t care. He grasped at the arm that he was a hundred percent sure was probably broken. He could hear Roman frantically apologising above him, but all he could think about was pain

Why did he have to be so stupid, to borrow whilst the human was still in the house? It had seemed like such a good idea at the time, but everything went wrong so quickly. Roman was reaching into the box saying something about patching him up. Virgil scrambled away from the hand, which then lingered there for a simple moment

When the hand retreated, Virgil had curled up in a corner of the box and was desperately clutching at his arm as though he could magically stop the pain

Roman had left the room, so Virgil was alone with his thoughts. He knew it was still early morning, still long before the human would usually wake up. He let his eyes slip shut for a while, waiting until the human came back in. Virgil’s eyes opened when the door did, and he listened to the human, who was on the phone with someone. Virgil froze, was Roman telling people about him?

He tried to listen to the words being said

“Please come over as soon as you can, I accidentally dropped it -them?- and I think their arm is hurt and I don’t know if they can understand me or not but I think they’re scared, just please come over” A pause as the person on the other end responded 

“Okay, thanks Logan” The call ended

Virgil thought that name over in his mind. Logan, that was one of the humans friends, right? The smart one, he was pretty sure. Virgil tried to move his arm, only to bite his tongue to stop making noise. Roman went closer to the box, looking down at Virgil with a mix of pity and concern

Virgil stared back up, and Roman started speaking again, but softer and quieter this time

“I am super sorry about your arm, little guy, I didn’t mean to drop you. I don’t know if you can understand me, but I think you’re too scared of me to let me help you, so I’ve got my friend to help, okay? He’ll be here soon” Virgil just stared blankly

A while later, the human’s friend did show up, looking annoyed at having to wake up before five am for this. Virgil winced; annoyed humans were almost as bad as angry humans

Virgil didn’t let himself be picked up. He was still panicking, still running on his fight or flight responses. Logan sighed above him, sounded even more annoyed. Even more reason to not let himself get picked up. 

He had been running from the hand, every time it attempted to grab him. The hand retracted, and Virgil collapsed onto his knees. 

He had never seen a human this close up before, and now there was two. It was... overwhelming, to say the least.

The humans were quiet above him, before a hushed whisper started between them

“I fear we may have overwhelmed them”

“What do you mean ‘we’? You’re the one who was trying to grab them over and over”

Virgil ignored them. How did humans deal with constant interaction with others? The rest of the day went by in a blur of panic, crying and pain. He had fallen asleep at some point, pure exhaustion made from the overwhelmingness of the day catching up to him. That was probably why he didn’t wake up when the humans bandaged up his arm

He felt incredibly uneasy knowing that the humans had held him whilst he was asleep. He had stared at the sling his arm was in for a solid minute, and he had felt a lump growing in his throat.

Roman hadn’t gone to work that day, instead, he chose to marvel at Virgil’s existence the entire day. Virgil just wanted to go home. Roman had given him food, which was a relief, but Virgil would still much rather be in bed, or roaming through the tunnels. Or doing literally anything except sitting in a box. He wished he could start the day over again so he wouldn’t get caught

He let out a small sob, how was it that borrowers had been so unheard of for years and years, and then Virgil had to ruin it, like an idiot.

He sat there for hours, as the humans did their things around the house. The box was ‘carefully’ moved into the living room (it didn’t feel very careful to Virgil)

Logan left the house to go back to his own, and Roman said goodnight and went to bed. It was dark again now. Virgil went to sleep.

-

When Virgil woke up, it was with a gasp. He looked around the room, his room, not a box. Was that a dream...? He usually forgot his dreams by now, but that was just as present in his memory as it would’ve been if it had happened yesterday. His arm didn’t hurt anymore, so it couldn’t have been real, right?

He started to walk towards the clock, wanting to know the time and it it was worth it to go back to sleep. When he was climbing to the top, he made himself ignore the memories from his dream. He stared at the numbers on the clock, starting to wonder what was going on

3:13.

Probably just a coincidence, but maybe he would wait for Roman to go to work to do the borrowing. Just in case. His emotions were still running high from that (dream? Vision?) so he just waited inside the clock. The hands seemed to tick at a minute per second, and everything that Virgil did made him more tense, more nervous 

About twenty minutes later, he saw the human’s silhouette pass by the clock, he heard a yawn and a light switch turning on

He shuddered, that was when he was found. The human seemed to just have come down for a drink or something. Virgil climbed down from the clock, and into the walls. He didn’t know what was happening

His first thought was that maybe he had become a psychic, and could see the future, but he hoped not. That sounded like a horrible power to have with anxiety; never knowing when you’re panicking about nothing or if it’s actually something? No thanks.

He knew the human probably wasn’t gonna wake up again until his alarm went off, but he wasn’t taking any chances. He could still remember the pain that shot up his arm and had stayed there.

He climbed his way to near where Roman’s bedroom was. The human was back to being asleep.

Virgil didn’t know what was happening, almost didn’t want to know, but he did know that he had been given a second chance at the worst day of his life, and he wasn’t going to ruin it

He climbed back down to the floorboards, and back into bed. He had double checked that he had turned off all of the lights in the tunnels, particularly the light in the most obvious entrance in the kitchen

It was a mouse-hole type entrance in the corner of the kitchen, but he had put some borrowed fairy lights in there for when he wanted to see a little bit

He waited until he heard the loud footsteps directly above him (and he was developing another migraine, great) and the front door. He waited an extra few minutes, just in case, before going towards the mouse hole. He had brought his spare hook, his needle, and some other tools. He wouldn’t be as unprepared as he had been

The food wasn’t exactly where it had been the first time, but Roman had been in the kitchen before him this time, so that was to be expected. He shoved a few crackers in his bag, and started moving towards the next cabinet. This cabinet held sweet foods, like chocolate. Most of the packets had already been opened, and the human wasn’t going to notice three or four pieces missing.

Those went in his bag too. He started climbing back down to his tunnels, but, as if by magic, the front door opened. Virgil could feel the déjà vu overwhelm him as he clung to his string once again. Hopefully, he wouldn’t break his arm this time.

He wondered how he had been managed to be found twice, on two separate occasions that would usually be safe. Roman gasped behind him. Virgil didn’t need to listen to his rambling ball of questions to know it would be the same as the first time.

This time, however the questions came before the grabbing. When he did get grabbed, it was more gentle than the half asleep Roman had managed, though now both of his arms were restrained

Roman did the same thing of taking him to a different room (though, this time it was the living room) and placing him in a high place.

Virgil waited until the human was distracted, before getting out his spare hook, and climbing down. Roman chose that moment to have found a suitable place for Virgil to be kept, and looked up

He and Virgil made eye contact and the human jumped up, and practically ran up to where the borrower was swinging

Virgil squeezed his eyes shut, and Roman’s grip (tighter than it had been either of the times Roman had found him) enveloped him

It was painful, and he let out a small noise as all of the air in his chest was forced out. The human looked angry that he was trying to escape. He was talking to Virgil, but Virgil couldn’t make himself listen to the voice that was just a little bit too loud and he tried to move in the grip that was just too tight

Roman’s grip loosened a little while later, and Virgil took a deep breath of air. He doubted the human even realised how tight he had held the borrower.

Roman was still talking, but softer, and he sounded more concerned. Virgil tried to focus on what was being said

“-re you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” 

Virgil made a small noise, neither confirming or denying the human’s question

He was placed in a box (similar height to the other one, but it was smaller in width and length). Virgil assumed that it was meant to be gently.

He retreated to the corner, almost thankful that he had no broken bones. He was definitely bruised where the human’s hands had been, but he was still in one piece; that meant that Roman wouldn’t have to call any friends, right?

Roman was watching him, and Virgil was still feeling every part of his body dissolve into panic. He looked back up to the human with a look he hoped didn’t look too helpless

Roman was holding his phone over the box now, and Virgil realised just a little too late that he was taking a photo. Virgil didn’t think that he would be able to bring himself to speak at all, even if he wanted to.

Roman seemed amused by him, in fact, this was probably the longest time he’d seen the human focus on any one thing. He hated that. He looked away from the human’s gaze. Roman didn’t even seem to notice how intimidating he was, how terrifying he was to Virgil

He was about fifteen times Virgil’s size, and was a lot louder, and not as attentive to detail, and so it was easier for Virgil to get hurt in his hands than it would be if someone with more of an attention span was handling him. He’d rather have no one handling him, to be fair, but Roman wasn’t the best option

He let out a humourless laugh, just quiet enough that the human didn’t notice. What had he done to deserve this? 

It turned out that Roman had messaged the picture to a group chat of friends, who each turned up within an hour. Logan was there first, then Patton, then Janus. 

They each wanted to see him immediately. They were loud. Logan wanted to know everything he could about Virgil, though didn’t pick him up or get too close, as to not overwhelm him. He seemed more interested than he did the day before, though that could be due to the fact he wasn’t woken up in the early morning this time

Patton squealed at first, though quietened himself down after Virgil covered his ears. Patton kept rambling about how cute he was, and reaching out to pet his head and ruffle his hair. Virgil tried to run from these interactions. After the first few failed attempts, Patton seemed to get the message and didn’t touch him. 

Janus simply stared at him with that silent, questioning gaze. He was somehow more intimidating than any of them. 

There were too many people, too many humans, and he couldn’t bear it. He started crying, retreating into his corner and bringing his knees to his chest. The humans seemed concerned for him, making small comments, and speaking in hushed whispers between them all

By the time they’d all left, Virgil just wanted to sleep. He wanted to go home, he wanted to have a nap, he wanted to never see another human ever again

He fell asleep.

-

When Virgil woke up, it was with a gasp. Home again. He remembered that on the first iteration of the day he had wished to do the day over again so he wouldn’t be found, maybe all he had to do was not get found?

It turned out that that was easier said than done. He knew that the human would be home from work early, so that might disrupt his plans, but he could try borrowing in between Roman waking up the first time and the second. 

His human was a heavy sleeper most of the time, and he didn’t wake up during that time last time...

He waited until he heard the footsteps above him go into the kitchen, and he waited until they retreated. 

He borrowed the same way he had the past two times. And this time, he made it without Roman making an unexpected appearance. He restocked his storage room, and he climbed up into the walls, and into a vent and he watched the human sleep. Virgil wondered just how much the human ever thought about his actions.

Virgil leant against the vent cover with a sigh. It made a creaking noise, and suddenly opened against his weight. Virgil tripped out, luckily landing on a blanket. Unluckily, that blanket was on Roman’s bed

Roman had woken up from the noise and his eyes landed on Virgil almost immediately. A startled sound made it out of Virgil’s mouth, and he tried to run away from the giant hand.

The uneven surface of the bed made him trip almost immediately. The hand closed around him, loosely this time and Virgil’s main worry became being dropped, rather than being squeezed too tight. 

When he managed to look at Roman’s face, he abruptly realised that the human hadn’t fully woken up yet. Roman was bad enough when he was awake, but a version of him that was even less aware of his surroundings? Virgil would rather not

Roman looked at him through eyes that were still half closed.

“Are you... real?” He slurred out, and Virgil, once again stayed quiet. Roman was starting to drift off back to sleep, still holding the borrower.

Virgil hoped that once he was asleep, he could slip away unnoticed and get his appearance written off as a peculiar dream. However, the grip tightened around him, and he was brought closer to Roman’s chest, as though he was one of those soft toys he often slept close to. 

Virgil squirmed, for the first time hating that his human was a heavy sleeper. 

Roman mumbled something nonsensical above him, and Virgil squirmed even more desperately. He looked at the digital alarm clock next to the bed. 6:27. He had just over half an hour to free himself from this mess before the human woke up 

He took a deep breath, and tried freeing his arms first. The grip was too tight by the smallest margin. He resigned himself to his fate. Hopefully, the day would reset again later. 

Suddenly, he was moved through the air again, as Roman moved his hand onto the pillow and Virgil was practically squished against the giant’s face. He squirmed again, but he had no luck. He couldn’t see the alarm clock from where he was held, but he hoped Roman would wake up soon, if only to get him out of this uncomfortable situation

When the alarm went off, Roman groaned, and (luckily with the hand Virgil wasn’t in) violently hit a button on the clock. He opened his eyes drowsily, before seeing Virgil

He stared for a few moments before seeming to remember his half-asleep kidnapping. He seemed to become excited

Virgil just waited to be put down.

“What are you? Who are you? What’s your name?” He paused, as if to let Virgil answer, and when the borrower stayed silent, he carried on speaking

“Do you not have one? I can give you a name if you want, but I will have to get back to you on that. Now, where to put you...” He started looking around the room, his eyes eventually landing on the pocket on his pyjama shirt. Virgil was placed in there the same way he had seen Roman do with interesting new objects. 

He could hear Roman rummaging through things, presumably boxes.

The pocket was uncomfortable, but Virgil endured it. He was pulled out a little while later, but he was placed in the same box he was the first time

This time it had a blanket inside.

The day progressed much like the previous two.

Roman seemed more confused about his existence this time, however, and he kept asking the questions over and over. Virgil still didn’t answer.

He was picked up again about half way through the day, and Roman grabbed his arm and started moving it, as though marvelling at how small Virgil was. . Virgil held his breath and tried to take his hand away

He was placed back into the box, and Roman started to ramble to him, not really talking about anything in particular. Virgil zoned out.

He went to sleep after that.

-

When Virgil woke up, it was with a gasp. This was the twentieth loop.

He was getting sick of the same things over and over. No matter what he did, Roman would find him.

So far, Virgil had been found by:

-Borrowing at 3 am

-Falling out of a vent

-Borrowing when the human was at work

-Staying inside the clock (Roman seemed to decide he wanted to know how it worked, very spontaneously)

-He went into the garden, only for Roman to decide a bit of spontaneous gardening

-He tripped over and fell out of a different vent

-and many more stupid ways that he was found.

The universe was obviously messing with him. What were the odds that every time he dodged previous findings, he was found in an increasingly stupid way?

He had sustained injuries from a few timelines. Namely, breaking his arm the first time, a lot of bruises from Roman holding him too tight, he broke his leg after falling out of the second vent, he gained a large cut on his arm from a rose thorn when Roman found him in the garden

He had hurt his foot trying to run in one of the timelines.

It was decided. The universe simply hated him. 

He would have stayed in bed all day, and stayed unfound that way, however, it was no good to escape a time loop if it meant he’d starve to death because he didn’t get food when he had even a small chance. Besides, with his luck, Roman would probably start taking the floorboards for impulsive art or something

Virgil groaned, hearing the human walk loudly above him. He wanted to tell him to shut up. Wait. He was in a time loop, there were no long-lasting consequences and Roman would probably find him anyway. He could take maybe a day’s break off of trying to escape the loop...

He got out of bed and climbed through the tunnels until he got to the kitchen. He glared at the human, who was suddenly staring at him

“What-” 

Virgil cut off his line of questioning that he had heard all too many times

“Hello. I know what you’re going to ask, so... I’m Virgil,” He smiled in a way that he hoped conveyed that he wasn’t happy to be meeting the human “I’m here just to ask you, if, for once in your life, you could walk quietly? You really disrupt my sleep when you walk as though you weigh as much as an elephant” He crossed his arms 

Roman’s shocked expression quickly changed to one of offense. 

“I don’t walk that loudly, how dare you? Besides, why are you even in my house? It’s,” He checked the time on his phone “It’s three thirty in the morning, aka far too early to be arguing with a probably imaginary tiny person in my kitchen” 

Virgil rolled his eyes “Oh yeah, real mature. Calling me imaginary rather than admitting that you are incredibly loud at everything you do”

The argument lasted a little while longer, and Virgil figured out how freeing it felt to finally voice all of his complaints. Roman surprisingly didn’t pick him up at all

Even when he tried, he, very surprisingly, listened when Virgil told him not to. Eventually, Roman went back to bed, and Virgil got his food and went back to his house

He was unsure whether Roman thought him to be dream or not after he woke up, but he did notice that he was walking quieter. That day was strange, but Virgil would probably do it again at some point if he had the chance

He got into bed

-

When Virgil woke up, it was with a gasp. By now, it was the thirtieth loop, at least. Something that Virgil had found out in the last few was that the loops went smoother and with less injuries and less migraines if he talked.

Roman even let him go in a few, even listened when Virgil asked to be kept secret. Virgil would never admit so to another borrower, but he would probably claim Roman as one of the few good humans.

Today, he had to keep away from Roman at all costs, he wanted to break the loop. 

First, he waited for the human to get up and back to bed, then he had to do a borrowing run, and then he had to go to the clock, because when Roman got home from work in the timeline that Virgil was awake under the floorboards, he started hearing noise under there and decided to check it out, and then he had to leave the clock before Roman decided he needed to know what was inside.

Then, he had to watch the human’s gardening to make sure he had the right timeframe to get something from his bedroom (he needed some paperclips)

Once he had the paperclips, he waited for Roman to start making food, and walked towards the living room’s tunnels and into the room-

Caught. Again, because why wouldn’t he be?

Roman reached out to grab him, but Virgil moved backwards slightly

“Don’t touch me,” He snapped, causing the hand to falter mid-air. 

Roman looked down at him, with an almost confused expression

“Why not?” He asked

Virgil rolled his eyes and started listing reasons

“You’re big, clumsy, you break things all the time, you’ll probably accidentally hurt me..” 

Roman seemed upset, in a way, but did respect Virgil’s space

“What’s your name?”

Virgil looked up at the human and mentally debated telling him his name. It had gone fine in the other timelines, but he was getting attached to the human. He said his name after a while of silence, Roman said his as well

He let out a soft smile.

Roman sat on the floor and just stared at him. Virgil sat down as well. It was almost the end of the day, it would reset soon.

“What are you? Are you some kind of fairy?” Roman asked quietly

Virgil snorted “Nope, nothing magical about me I’m afraid. As for what I am, if you find me again tomorrow, I might tell you,” 

He knew that this wouldn’t be the end of the loop. Roman wouldn’t remember that promise, but Virgil would. And if the next loop wasn’t the end, then he’d tell Roman then (did tomorrow count as tomorrow if tomorrow was today again?)

Soon, they both went back to their respective bedrooms and fell asleep

-

When Virgil woke up, it was with a gasp. Loop 62. Virgil would’ve liked to say that he was the same as how he was when the loops started, and that he wasn’t getting increasingly attached to the dangerous human, but that would ultimately be a lie.

True to his word, he did tell Roman he was a borrower in loop 31. 

Virgil had only got caught at the very end of the day yesterday, so he figured he could probably figure out how to avoid the human for the entire day this time.

He waited for the footsteps to go into and out of the kitchen, and  he borrowed his necessities. He walked to the clock, and hung out there for a while. The first part of the avoidance was like second nature to him now

He left the clock after a while, retreating to the walls to watch Roman take apart the clock. Once Roman got bored with that, he went out to the garden. Virgil watched for a moment, before going to get paper clips. Roman started making food, Virgil waited for him to finish doing that, and stayed in the wall.

After a while, Roman started playing games on his computer. Virgil had gotten caught last time when he wanted a slightly closer look at the game (it was just a bunch of blocks?)

He stayed in the wall. Roman would be playing for hours, Virgil had only been caught at eleven o’clock in the evening, and Roman only noticed him as he was going to bed, so Virgil just had to stay in the walls until Roman went to sleep, right?

He watched the human on his block game for awhile, and then went to his house. He lied in his bed with his thoughts. 

He had tried to stay awake in other loops, but he always fell asleep before midnight, like magic. He would wait for himself to either fall asleep or the clock to chime midnight

If the loop didn’t break this time, he didn’t know what he’d do. He’d evaded the human, he’d done what he needed, and if he was stuck waking up to the same day over and over, he wouldn’t let himself do anything

The clock chimed. He smiled. He went to sleep.

-

When Virgil woke up, it was to the sound of the human making breakfast. Virgil grinned, an uncharacteristic expression on his face. It was a new day. 

Every time he went borrowing after that, he wondered just why that day was so hard to evade the human; he had been doing it for twenty years with no problems. He wondered why he wanted to be found again

He wondered why he missed talking to someone, or even just being close enough to someone to touch their face. He even missed being held, somewhat. It occurred to him that this was the only contact he had had with another person in years. 

For the next few weeks, he was reckless in his borrowing. So what if he ‘accidentally’ left his hook on he kitchen counter, he had a spare, it didn’t matter. So what if he left a light on? The human probably wouldn’t notice...

He would never admit that he did these things on purpose, because he was doing things that shouldn’t be done. He shouldn’t let himself forget anything, but maybe, just maybe, he wanted Roman to find him. 

Maybe, they could be friends? He hoped so.

---

Taglist: @a-chilly-pepper​

[phtalogreenpoison]

Reynie Muldoon Part 3

Hullo hullo friends, and welcome to the third part of analysis on Reynie Muldoon.  As you probably can tell, I tend to follow book canon because that’s what I’m familiar with, but feel free to theorize as you please.  Now I have less brain juice present with me right now, so hopefully I will be able to elucidate clearly on what I’ve been wanting to. 

And while I don’t think this is an uncommon take, I would argue that Reynie has parallels to both Mr. Benedict and Mr. Curtain, and in addition to this, they both provide mentorship in a way (although Mr. Benedict is far more direct, and Mr. Curtain does really only in the first book indirectly).  First off, Mr. Benedict is a pretty clear parallel, with how Reynie is at the center of his friends among the Society.  He also has the mind of a leader, complimented by a strong heart, and is very perceptive and good at making plans, and he is charming in a kind, personable way.  While he is often the one to make the critical decision, he relies upon his friends for constructive criticism and their opinions.  He acknowledges that he is fallible, and Reynie is often the one to reach out to a friend that is struggling in some way.  But how much of this does he parallel in personality to Mr. Benedict by being raised in similar circumstances?  They are both orphans who were raised in an environment with not a ton of support and few friends, were uncomfortably smart or perceptive to those around them, and they love to read.  A portion of their capabilities come from having an uncertain childhood, and they often doubt their own skills and decision making from a lack of self-esteem.  They also have the tendency to doubt whether they are good people, particularly in a very intrusive thought kinda way (if I do say so as a haver myself). 

And Mr. Benedict provides good mentorship to Reynie as well!  He encourages Reynie’s ability to trust his own decision making AND his ability to think in a team and trust his friends, almost providing the reassurance that Mr. Benedict could have used throughout his life before he found his family.  A key example of this kind of mentorship occurs during the mirrors and windows conversation, which happens early on in The Perilous Journey (the chapter title for those interested is Beyond the Glass, or Windows for Mirrors).   Here I would like to interrupt my analysis to give credit to @mvshortcut for providing me with the full conversation in pictures.  Carrying on, the analogy they start with is that Mr. Benedict says to Reynie, “where most people see mirrors, you, my friend, see windows.  By which I mean there is always something behind the glass” (Stewart 37).  While he praises this ability, he points out it can be both a blessing and a curse, that being perceptive can allow you to see things you aren’t meant to know just yet (or are ready to know) or to read too much into everyday things.  From here, he segues into the serpent dream conversation, where he tells Reynie, “But if you find that serpents are all you see, you may not be looking hard enough” because as he says earlier, “wickedness stands out, as it were” (Stewart 38, 37).  By pointing this out, he points out that without trust in others, this can lead to paranoia and the kind of decision making that leads one down a path more similar to his brother Mr. Curtain. 

On the other hand, Reynie also parallels Mr, Curtain for many of the same reasons.  Going by book canon, we don’t know a whole lot about Mr. Curtain’s childhood, but we can probably assume he had a lot difficulties from his disability.  While this same disability pushed Mr. Benedict to find a support system so he could be his best self as he saw it, Mr. Curtain instead felt control was the answer.  Reynie, while still very flexible as a person, could probably relate to the value of this, and getting a taste of this as a Messenger probably influences why he even worries that he might betray his friends in the first place.  After all, if you can’t trust anyone, you might as well use your friends right back?  Right?  If they’re there only for a goal and not you as a person, you might as well have your own goal.  You might as well get the recognition for what you are from a person who sees your potential, right?  It doesn’t matter how others persons perceive the truth or not, just who plays the game best to get their vengeance of living best, RIGHT?  This is a big part of why Mr. Curtain’s influence is such a tipping point one way or the other for Reynie and how he decides to grow as a person and in what direction.  In fact, I appreciate that Reynie stews on the option of betrayal, as it shows how human and hurt he is, and his decision to stick to the mission becomes that much more powerful through that lens.  And while Reynie decides not to go on Mr. Curtain’s route, he still indirectly learns the power of mind games and power struggles and how this happens in the world.  He learns what intimidation can do, and he is that much more powerful if he chooses to only to use it to protect people instead of hurt them. 

[elliepassmore]

Divine Rivals review

5/5 stars Recommended if you like: historical fantasy, epistolary narrative, enemies to lovers, pen pals, WWI I didn't really think I'd be into this book, but I ended up absolutely loving it! Along with The Dictionary of Lost Words this is probably going to be one of my favorite reads of the year. I enjoyed both Iris and Roman's POVs and was engrossed in all of the plotlines. I also liked how it was set during a fantast world version of WWI. That's not a time period that gets a ton of attention, particularly in YA, so it was interesting to read about. The best way I can describe the setting is that it definitely felt vintage. Ross did a good job capturing the early-1900s vibes while still creating a unique world. Oath feels like a distinct city and you can definitely get a feel for both it and the people living there just from reading Iris' experiences living and working there. The town she's posted in as a correspondent feels distinct and you can definitely get the European countryside vibes and the unity the people of the town have. Ross also did a good job of capturing the reality of trench warfare and the horrors and trauma that result from it. She mentioned in the acknowledgements that Testament of Youth was one of her inspirations and damn if she didn't capture those vibes perfectly (sad movie, do recommend). The story is told in normal narration, but there is a pen pal thing going on, so it's also semi-epistolary. I liked reading Iris and Roman's letters and thought it was a good way to further the emotional connection between the characters and with readers. There was a good balance between the epistolary parts and the traditional narration, so even if you're not a huge fan of stories told through letters/diaries/etc., then you should still like this story. Also, shameless pluck for my favorite book ever: if you do like epistolary stories and you liked this book, definitely check out Code Name Verity. This book is action packed in a very casual way. The main plot is being a writer on the war front, and so Iris and Roman are largely focused on that. This leaves room for a lot of the tension to revolve around the conditions of war. Thus, while day-to-day things are pretty calm, there are times when raid sirens go off and characters have to scramble for cover. Likewise, there are scenes in the trenches with all the nail biting tension that brings. In this way, the story manages to be both calm and action-oriented. I do wish we got a little more background on the gods. Like, I understand a lot of it is left out because the characters themselves don't know a lot, but for a good portion of the book I had trouble figuring out which side the city of Oath was supposed to be on (and by extension Forest, which is kind of important for Iris' story). We did eventually get a little more information, and I suspect that figuring out the details is going to be a big portion of book 2, but I just would've liked a little more info in this book. Iris is the main narrator of the story and boy is she dealing with a lot. She's competing for her dream job, she's constantly low on money, her brother is MIA, and her mom is an alcoholic. Despite all that, Iris is able to push forward and stay hopeful for the most part. She's determined but not naïve, and when things take a turn for the worse, she's able to pretty quickly reorient and pick herself back up, which I liked about her. I also liked how kind and open she was to people. While it didn't come up too often, Iris was more than willing to lend a hand when people needed it, and she clearly felt deeply for those around her, even if she'd only known them a short period. Roman only has a bit of narration at the beginning, but his POV plays a bigger role later on in the story. He's definitely someone I felt for, though his struggles took a different shape than Iris' did. Roman was stuck between a rock and a hard place while in Oath, and while he could come across as abrasive and rude, even mean at times, there were moments when it was clear he genuinely cared but just didn't know how to go about it when under his family's thumb. Correspondent Roman is much more open and a more obviously caring person, and I enjoyed getting to see that side of him come out more. This is enemies to lovers (or rivals to lovers), but it's definitely one of those situations where the context the characters are in matters. Once Iris and Roman are removed from the performativity in Oath (either via the letters or via an actual change in location), the rivalry between them settles into something more amicable. It does feel kind of instalovey at times, but considering the context, I question whether they were ever really 'enemies' to begin with or if the situations they were in merely got in the way of a more comfortable dynamic between the two of them. I liked a lot of the side characters as well. Marisol is the owner of the bed and breakfast the writers stay at and she becomes something of a mother figure. She lives on the front and is determined to stay there and help however she can. Marisol was a nice adult addition to a book where, as usual, adults aren't really present. She looked after everyone and helped them adjust while also being a friend and someone to lean on. Attie is the other main side character and she's another war correspondent. She travels to the front at the same time as Iris and the two of them become quick friends. She has a big heart but also a lot of bravery. While the situation is foreign to her, Attie adapts quickly and is quick to bond with others. It's also clear that she's determined to keep those she cares about safe when it comes down to it. I really enjoyed her character and am looking forward to seeing more of her in book 2. Overall I really loved this book and highly recommend it if you're into historical fiction. The setting/time period is unusual and well done, and the characters are generally likeable and complex.

[josephinesrphub]

Just reblogged the only 4 posts I ever made regarding the situation with em1grate and m1llionaires. I didn't know their new blogs until about 8 hours ago. I legit thought they were gone and leaving me alone but it seems that isn't the case. For the last day or so they've been accusing me of stalking them, and talking shit about them when I haven't. You can scroll back on my blog. I have nothing to hide. It's the #the puppeteer // mun tag if you didn't know. And I've been informed that ever since that incident they've been watching my blog, vaguing about me every single day, and even sent screenshots. Now, keep in mind. I originally found out m1llionaires had me blocked bc they were interacting with a mutual. I was curious who they were so I clicked their name. Found I was blocked. I went ok and carried on with my life.

Flash forward a week later, I find out that m1llionaires was h0rrorwood, who got all butthurt cuz I said not to follow me if you don't like my faceclaims. And I never told her bf to block her. I wanted him to say something to her cuz she vagued about me right after I made my post about the fcs issue.

I was gonna leave it there but it kept going (you can scroll my posts from earlier today. They're every single screenshot I had about it.) So I blocked him too and moved on. Now I'll admit I was a bit petty. I posted lyrics to Slaughterhouse, and Massacre The New American Dream, as well as reblogged several pics of palaye supporting LGBT, including trans people. But I eventually stopped and moved on with my life.

Flash forward to a few days ago, and the whole thing with nevermoreunihq starts up. Now, I'm not racist or ableist. I'm gonna say this rn before anybody jumps to conclusions. I do not wish to change my characters or rp characters who do not share the struggles I do, out of respect for the people who do. I don't feel confident enough that I'll get it right and I don't wish to offend anybody. This stranger things blog, inactive from August, chimes in only reading half the post, calls me racist and ableist. Not willing to listen. (These screenshots are also below.) I go into their dms and try to clear the air like an adult. They still are unwilling to listen so I blocked them. Then saw they got an ask from an anon and wouldn't you know. It was the same people with the FC drama. My post about nevermoreunihq, and my response to their post was deleted from here but it still exists on that stranger things blog brokenmvses. Go ahead take a look. As well as the Anon.

After that happened I decide to take a break. It wasn't good for my mental health. I was already dealing with a lot at the time of this happening. Then I get a DM from m1llionaires. (Screenshot is also below from the last day)

I shrug it off, screenshotted it and blocked them. Then I find out just who m1llionaires is. And oh boy. I find out from my sources that m1llionaires had been accusing me of stalking them for the past week, despite me not knowing their URLS until earlier today, and I checked both blogs to see what I could see what had been said. Now at this point, I'd made the new blog and sent dms out to a bunch of people with the new url so we could continue to interact. I found out that someone had ratted out my new blog to my stalkers. They sent me Anon hate but I didn't respond to it. I merely blocked it, hid the blog completely, and changed the URL.

Now here's what's going through my head. One person must've said something or was actively looking for my new blog. If it was the latter, you got too much time on your hands and you're clearly obsessed. If it was the former, somebody ratted me out. Now I told one person I didn't fully trust. And get this, they're mutuals with m1llionaires. So of course my first thought was "seriously? After I defended you after you attempted suicide? I did nothing to you." So I block them on both blogs. Then I got screenshots of a portion of a callout from em1grate.

The only thing that's true here is that I told people not to follow me if they didn't like my fcs. I wasn't sent the full callout bc it's apparently very long and I can't view the account cuz it's password protected.

And at this point I'd had my pinned post up for a WHILE. Then I get sent this.

I was never attacking you. I was proving a point. You're just trying to incite hate towards me by playing the victim. IDC if the original post wasn't about me. You vagued about me after I blocked you and told people not to follow me if they don't like my fcs. It's in my rules now because it has to be said now that if you don't like somebody don't follow them.

You need a life. I got better things to worry about in my own life than to worry what goes on in yours. I never actively sought you out. I didn't post about you at all until today. I never looked for you. And now you've brought this on yourself.

Now, as a conclusion. These two are stalkers. They've been stalking my blog since they made their new ones and have been vaguing about me nonstop since when I nearly forgot about them. Consider this a callout, will you? This is how you do a true callout. I am sick of being pushed around by you when I did nothing to you. I'm sick of being bullied. If you see this post, report m1llionaires and em1grate.