#and a desire to go apeshit

[pepperpixel]

Yadda yadda yadda jinx is generally seen as a loose canon, does whatever she wants type of character, totally unpredictable. When in actuality, up until the last few episodes all of her choices and actions r motivated by wanting to please someone else. Hell. Even in the last couple episodes, the very Last thing we see her doing is ENTIRELY MOTIVATED by devotion and love and grief for silco, she’s taking out her frustration at herself and the world, and also honoring his wishes and dreams. By shooting a fucking bomb at piltover, she’s ensuring his life wasn’t in vain, she’s honoring him. In that moment

Her entire, self!!! is centered around love and loyalty. Is centered around other people, She’s motivated by an insatiable urge to prove herself, to be useful to those she loves, to show that she can help them and be there for them and be WORTHY of there love. That they haven’t made a mistake in loving her. To prove that she can be as pivotal to them as they r for her. She goes to the ends of the fucking earth to do this. And it ends. Terribly.

She puts the people she loves on pedestals and supplicates at there feet, she has no motivations most of the show outside of making the people she loves happy… she yearns for connection and love and safety. For a home that will never leave her behind, or crumble under her feet, (an indestructible home, That she can’t destroy just by being her…)

Which is why.. it’s so. Interesting and intriguing. How now, she has no one on that pedestal to worship, no one to drag sacrifices and offerings to the feet of, no one to spiral around and build herself off of. She is a person so *affected* by her relationships w others, but there is no relationship now, no one is stepping up to the plate to love her. She’s too much. For anyone. The one person who seemed to have unlimited patience for her is dead, because of her. and maybe vi could still love her.. but. She’s already soured that relationship. Already broken that one too. Broken all her favorite toys that made her so happy. That were there for her. And scared all the rest away. (There is a limit to what vi can support and forgive to reconnect w her sister. And I believe terrorism is crossing that limit ghgh)

And maybe, jinx is cutting that part of herself out on purpose. To be stronger, she’s realized she just. Isn’t made for love. That she ruins it all in the end. That it just makes everything worse. Messier. More complicated. She’s better off on her own, but for what PURPOSE! Who will she be now! What choices will she make!?! Almost all of her actions in the show were for others, what is driving her now, now that she has this gaping void at the center of her being. Where love used to be… what kind of person will she become, Without a guide to follow… a sun to orbit around. it’s sad honestly ghghg-!!! like yeah it’s not healthy that she is this way but there’s no THERAPY IN ARCANE. THIS IS THE WAY SHE IS! And now. She’s alone… it’s rough. But also intriguing…!! And I honestly have no clue how she’s gonna act in season 2,,, or what sorta shit she’s gonna get up to. but I’m excited.

[talentforlying]

i'm still stuck on 'who will pray for you / when your body is gone / this is the consequence for what you've done', i am not being normal about it at ALL. i need to talk more about how everyone in the occult scene knows that constantine is damned far beyond the help of even platitudes about going to a better place / achieving redemption, because like, how do you get leverage over someone like that? taunt someone like that? what's the worst you can do, send him to hell for all eternity? oh noooo.

and in his personal life, yeah, he's a punk and a brainiac and a fucking mess and an awkward loner craving connection, but i'm obsessed with the fact that when he's acting professionally, he radiates an absolutely soul-sucking aura of 'nothing left to lose'. he's masks on masks of personality and false bravado, but even at his most vulnerable, under every layer, all the way down to the core, his eyes are dead and damned. even people who've known him for ages know there's something off behind those eyes.

[demonskiss]

I THINK MIRANGEL IS OUT OF SHADOWBANNED JAIL

[floorpancakes]

.🤨

[whentheynameyoujoy]

Y’know, a lot is said about exposition and worldbuilding and show, don’t tell but I absolutely love how Muir evil-cackles “yes, and” and just weaves a story—that’s actually pretty simple if followed chronologically—completely ass backwards to the point that its signature mark is people having no idea what’s even going on over there. And not only does it still work but it hits you that much harder emotionally when you finally untangle this controlled chaos. Like, you open the first book and immediately go “huh? What the fuck is this combination of sci-fi and fantasy, and why is the fantasy element necromancy of all things?!” But you handwave it because Gideon and her porn mags and griddlehark and the consuming nature of love, aaaaargh, but as you go on, more and more layers get peeled away until you arrive at the incredibly “duh, why didn’t I see it before” origin point which is a single scientist gone apeshit with the desire to avenge our ongoing climate apocalypse, and the dying spirit of the Earth giving him the power to revive and restore her and it going horribly, horribly wrong because human heart is just that fucked up, god I love this series.

[clover-the-awesomest]

do whatever and see what happens

The question is, really, do I want my sona to have little beaned paws for feet, talons, or just have em wear heels.

[anchy2006]

One of the best things to come out of the show is seeing these old men realize they are desirable and then them making the fans go apeshit with slutty content

[frozenjokes]

Cub and mumbo is a ship I really want to like extremely badly but it hasn’t quite clicked in my brain how they would work so I just need to take a moment to ramble and brainstorm and make it happen.

I think they have a kind of vibe that’s like ‘I saw cub at the ‘eating people’ club!’ ‘what were YOU doing that the ‘eating people’ club?’ I imagine cub being charmed by S8 mumbo and his quite frankly insane workaround to stealing Grian’s soul instead of just cannibalism normal style. Cub might keep tabs on Mumbo after that, just curiosity with little interaction, and he ends up witnessing multiple instances of Technically Not Cannibalism? that leave him kind of baffled?? mumbo jumbo why are you jumping through hoops like this. I am fascinated by you but I think also you are in desperate need of tearing someone apart (and god I’d love to watch). They’ve said a total of five words to each other when cub wanders over to him and is like hey. if you wanted to 👉👈 you could ✌️ rip scar into a million pieces with me :) for fun :)

mumbo goes ?????????no????????"? and cub comes away from this interaction dejected and also with the impression that the issue here is that mumbo is simply repressed and is in desperate need of help and nothing else. commence slutfan135 (attraction and eating people are integrally linked which is a universal for everyone cub has decided)

from Mumbo’s perspective this is coming out of fucking nowhere and he’s deeply deeply confused until he’s chatting with scar one day and the subject comes up and scar’s like oh yeah lol he wants you to eat him soooooo bad he’s been talking my ear off about for weeks and mumbo goes Why. W hy. And scar shrugs. (Unhinged cubfan monologue would not have been understandable to anyone especially not scar but he’s just happy to listen to cub talk. Nothing is more fun than listening to an autistic person go off the rails about something insane.)

Mumbo just approaches cub the next day and goes dude I do not want to eat you and I’m not going to. And cub goes 🥺 please? Somehow this leads to a conversation about desire and carnal attraction and gore and shit and it’s nice probably. Mumbo doesn’t really want to hurt people so instead he chooses to hurt people in extremely convoluted ways instead. Cub suggests he go apeshit instead. you’ve been cannibalism edging me for weeks mumbo jumbo I am begging you. Something something guilt and shame and it’s all an extremely poorly disguised allegory for catholic guilt and shame in regards to sex. maybe it ends with mumbo suggesting cub eat him instead. This might fix him??? I enjoy a predator hunter/hunted dynamic so I think that would go hard with cub being like okay :3 only if I can chase you through my gay little labyrinth. Even better if the turns get tabled on cub and mumbo ends up killing him instead. I haven’t mentioned mumbo is a vampire yet but he is. Then they eat each other the end. cumbo win

[tototalks]

And so here we are, the final ramble! I just wanna say a huge thank you to everyone who has been on this lil reading voyage with me and put up with my dumb memes lol. You’ve all been awesome! Special thanks go to @evilovesyou for getting me to read! 💙

(HAHAHA WTF DO I DO WITH MY LIFE NOW?! 😂)

My final King’s Rising thoughts 👑👑

- Gotta love Damianos, King of Akielos, looking down at a broken cart and being like “I’m too privileged to know how to fix this” while Lazar and Pallas fuck unsubtly in the background.

- LAMEN. CRYING. 😭😭😭 Laurent really chose Damen’s high school bully nickname.

- Charls is an actual MVP. He took one look at Laurent and understood the assignment. He’s a cousin to the King of Vere now. He is actually a part of the royal family. Ring bearer at the wedding. I don’t make the rules. And the absolute best part about it is that he never fuckin finds out 😂

- Laurent is having the absolute time of his life. He’s sat there TRASHING Nikandros and telling all these Akeilon sluts to cover their arms and accidentally reinventing the cloth trade. What a legend 😂

- The night they spend at the inn is so so significant. Laurent realising that he’s allowed to have desires and finally being asked what he wants. But also the undercurrent of being scared and confused by what turns him on because of his history. Damn I love that his traumatic experiences don’t disappear just because he has Damen now.

- I also need a whole book about their trip through Akeilos - Laurent being too pale and northern for the heat is SO real lol

- King Damianos promising to end slavery 🥲

- I need Laurent and Nikandros to become friends who tease each other ruthlessly.

- Okay so the kid is Kastor’s. I have to admit, I really do appreciate Jokaste and her sacrifices to a certain degree - not the whole degree - but a certain degree.

- Laurent giving himself over for Damen’s sake and the child. Holy shit the symbolism. Damen hearing the Regent confirm what he already kind of knew about Laurent and going apeshit, and Laurent realising he’s defending him. 💔

- “Throw up quick, we need to go.” Nikandros, I love you.

- Damen just WALKING IN to surrender. He really said all eyes on me you’re not gonna forget this.

- He stands up for Laurent against all the odds and I cannot even imagine what that felt like for Laurent.

- GUION YOU RAT ASS MOTHERFUCKER (I should have seen this coming.)

- And this is why you NEVER cross a mother about the ones she loves - the Regent is being taken down by every child he abused and that is exactly how I wanted him to fall. So satisfying.

- Paschal’s testimony and it all coming together. I ADORE how no character is forgotten or irrelevant once they die. Nicaise, Aimeric and even Govart were significant to the Regent’s downfall. The perfect evidence for the council to acquit Laurent and charge the Regent.

- I have to mention the 11 year old boy and how Laurent protects him when he sees him worry for the Regent upon his execution. He truly doesn’t understand what’s going on and the manipulation runs deep. Laurent broke that cycle of abuse.

- Kastor vs. Damianos - another fight that was always meant to happen and solidified that Kastor cannot be redeemed, even by Damen’s kindness.

- Laurent being the one to kill Kastor was only fitting. He’s fulfilled himself, Auguste, and Damen, and he used something so himself to do it. His wits. I really love that.

- And finally we have two legitimate kings, friends, and lovers. Ruling over two kingdoms that will probably end up one. An absolute perfect ending. ♥️

What an absolute ride. Shoutout C.S. Pacat for an awesome story ♥️…. I start the side stories Friday 😂 Y’all on tumblr have one more job, and that’s to fill my inbox with AO3 links 😉🥰 I have a character song playlist to curate lol

[cringefail-clown]

thinking bout hal and jake and how their interactions went in homestuck again. god, imagine having a best friend (who you also have a wild crush on) that youve known for years, talked to him about everything, from dumb shit to the deepest desires and insecurities youve ever had. then you decide to create an ai out of your own brain and suddenly its you whose got the short end of the stick and youre stuck, without a body, in a pair of glasses. and youd think, this fucking sucks, but at least i have my friends, right? but your friends dont think about you as "you" anymore. now you're just a program, ai created by the real deal to talk to them when he doesnt have time to do it.

and your best friend? he cant fucking stand you. he sees you only as an obstacle in his way to talk to the real you, but youre YOU too, right? all the parts are the same, the memories are the same, your feelings are the same, but youre not REAL YOU anymore. now youre just an annoyance they have to get through if they want to talk to the guy you were before and you still are.

god. id go fucking apeshit too.

[nitewrighter]

So last night I was watching the JLU episode "The Man Who Has Everything" and the plot synopsis was, "Wonder Woman and Batman visit Superman at the Fortress of Solitude for his birthday, only to discover he's been captured by Mongul." And I'm walking in like "Cool, fun, I'm going to see Bruce and Diana punching Mongul while surrounded by a whole bunch of nifty little Fortress of Solitude easter eggs" but NO it turns out that 80% of the episode is Clark trapped in an Illusory Krypton where he has everything he wanted and it turns out that just boils down to being a chill Dad on a farm (but also the farm is on Krypton which didn't die and also his dad is still alive). And when Clark finally realizes that this Krypton is an illusion, he takes his son by the shoulders and he's like "I love you and I'm so proud of you and I remember the day you were born and how it was the happiest day of my life and I am packed with all of these amazing memories of watching you grow up but I don't think you're real" and you straight-up feel your heart get ripped out of your chest at the concept of Supes having to make the conscious decision to part with all this to get back to reality and save his friends

And when Superman finally breaks free of the illusory Krypton he goes completely apeshit on Mongul and it's so satisfying.

But then also Bruce gets trapped in the same 'prison of what you most desire' and it turns out he just wants to see his dad beat the shit out of the dude that killed him and Martha.

It's honestly kind of funny because Clark's 'perfect prison' was this highly complex conceptualization of Krypton where Jor-El is talking about how it took him years to salvage his reputation after mistakenly predicting Krypton's destruction, and Clark's wife is this obvious fusion of both Lois and Lana, and Clark has to remind his kid to take the dog out, and it keeps cutting back to Bruce's fantasy which is just "Hell yeah, Thomas, beat his ass."

[demonskiss]

RAN DON'T WORRY WE LOVE YOU <33 we understand life can get a little busy. I myself was getting a little worried because you've dissapeared, but I've reassured myself that you're just busy, like all of us ❤️

- 🍵

thank you for all your concerns!!! i assure you, i’m fine! i had to do sat this week so i was preparing for that, and i’m working on more portfolio work for college! i promise the thirsting has not died, but merely directed to something else energy wise!! i promise i’ll write soon once i clear up my work load!!

[mayasaura]

One of my biggest hopes for Alecto is that Harrow has a minute of going full Carrie revenge insane upon finding out what they did to Gideon’s body. Like. Throughout Canaan House and especially in the AUs, we get the sense of Harrow having a deep desire to protect Gideon’s body even if it is in her own solitary goth nun way. She wants Gideon to put more consideration into the danger of avulsion before agreeing. She tells her afterward not to price her life so cheaply. She makes Cam and Pal check on her multiple times. She leaves her bread in a drawer. She’s fully on board to throw Camilla towards possible death in the interest of keeping Gideon safe. And then when she finally sees her in the coffee AU her description is just so soft and loving even when she’s about to pass out because she saw her arms, and continues that way until the end of the book. When Ianthe thinks it’s Harrow in Nona she’s surprised she isn’t violently storming the compound to recover Gideon’s body. Anyway she should find out how BOE and Jod treated her body and go on a tiny insane revenge spree. As a treat.

You are SO fucking right. Deep down inside Harrow is that one gif of the girl holding puppies and crying because she can't protect them, only the puppies are a butch lesbian determined to throw herself into a meat grinder.

I think Harrow might be a little grateful for the unbreakable bones and indestructable skin part of Jod's deal re: Gideon—she may have done that herself in Canaan House, if she'd known how—but the rest of it? The gaping wounds, the leaving her dead? Kill Bill sirens. She has been trying so hard to protect and preserve Gideon, to give Gideon a life, and when Gideon's own father has the chance to restore her he just slaps her together with crazy glue and calls it fine? That is not fine.

If she ever finds out how Gideon's corpse was being treated while her murderer lay in state on a bed of flowers... Man, I would not want to be in the room where that happened.

It would be so cathartic to see her tear into John over his part of it. Gideon already went apeshit on him for how he treated Harrow, so it's only fair Harrow gets to have her go. It's equality!! If We Suffer could somehow be there to be held accountable, too, so much the better.

And after that, what I really really want to see is Harrow turning the soft and loving vibe from the Baristar AU on the real Gideon, and channeling that protective fury toward protecting or restoring Gideon. I know it's probably not going to be exactly how it happens, what with everything else going on, but that sleeping beauty fakeout has me hungry to see Harrow try to ride in and rescue her prince.

In abscence of her body, Harrow's soul dreamed of Gideon's eyes; and in abscence of her soul, Harrow's body dreamed of Gideon's hands. If we don't get to see some pay off when she has those hands to hold again, I'm gonna have to chew my own fucking leg off.

[kissitbttr]

i love the frat boys so imagine them taking care of muñeca whenever mig isn’t there (which is like never but let’s imagine)

“y/n !! what do you want for breakfast?”

“that’s not her name! it’s muñeca, glen!”

“do you want o’hara to kill you, man?!”

“yeah, well?! he isn’t here!”

dear lord it’s only 8 in the morning and she swears her head is about to explode,

miguel had to clock in at work early than usual, leaving his girlfriend at the house. as much as he hates the idea of it, he’s got no choice. not just the fact that he didn’t get the chance to have a lazy morning with her but also the fact that he’s leaving her with the boys, too.

he loves them but they could be a real pain in the ass and a major flirt, except for beck.

“just call me if one of them tries to do something with you, cariño— i love you”

it’s what he said before leaving,

not even an hour after he’s gone that his frat brothers are making her lose her mind with all the noise,

she sighs as she massages her temple, sitting on the counter with a cup of coffee between hands. one that is made by glen, surprisingly tasting a bit better that what her boyfriend usually makes,

“guys! i’ll eat anything i swear—just please shut. up” she groans softly, pulling the hems of miguel’s thick knitted sweater that clings onto her body, protecting her from chilly morning air,

carlos shakes his head, arms crossed. “that is not an answer! what. do you. want. to. eat!”

“carlos! i swear to fucking—“

“banana bread maybe, or muffins? what does miguel usually get for you anyway? ah! matcha, isn’t it!” glen interrupts with a smile,

“oooh, how about a nice BLT? you know there’s a rookie here who knows how to make a mean BLT sandwich and you could hire him for the rest of your day to be your slave! just until miguel comes back” carlos suggests, ready to call whoever his name is

“oh my god, don’t say that word” she responds, taking another sip. “you are banned from using that”

“what, ‘hire’?” carlos looks genuinely confused,

she heaves out a heavy sigh, it’s like talking with children. “no. the S word” her eyes dart between the other guys who are looking like they’re ready to serve her with whatever it is she desires.

did miguel put them up to this?

“guys guys come on, she’s big enough to handle shit on her own” beck tells them, popping himself a canned of black coffee and she secretly thanks him for being the most logical one. “but just in case you want a croissant or something just let me know”

“i’ll pick something up from the bakery, just let me borrow your keys” she replies and getting ready to stand up, earning a collective of no’s and hands holding out to stop her. “you all realize that i’m not five?!” she’s getting a tad bit irritated,

“gotcha but!” carlos holds his point finger up, “we’re all instructed to take care of you—“

“no we didn’t?”

“chang, you’re ruining it, shut the fuck up” carlos glares at his asian frat brother who’s hands are up as if to show defense. “anyways—we are instructed to take care of you and if miguel finds out that we’re doing a terrible job at it, all of us are dead. literally”

“i think you’re just exaggerating, carlos” she tries to smile despite wanting to kill him. “he’s not capable of killing anyone”

“didn’t he get into a fight with two guys for staring at your ass and talking about how they’d use you at the same time?” glen chimes in, leaning forward on the kitchen table,

“that doesn’t count, it was not a fight, it was a slaughter. o’hara went apeshit” beck chuckles, taking a seat beside her,

“okay well that happened nearly months ago” she points out at the specific memory, one where she had to stop miguel from going overboard. she’d hate it if her boyfriend went to jail for what happened, “it’s all in the past”

“yeah well those two men are still on his black list” beck shrugs, “you know how serious he gets when it comes to you, kid”

she sighs for what it feels like a hundredth time that morning. “okay you know what, if it gets you all to be quiet, especially you carlos” she throws a soft glare at the man who’s wearing an innocent smile, standing tippy toes. “then just—can i please have that BLT sandwich? i am starving”

carlos claps his hands, “absolutely, you gorgeous human being! oi, rookie! get down here! muñeca needs breakfast!” he calls out the boy from downstairs,

“holy—carlos! why did i just tell you?!” beck snaps, narrowing his eyes at his frat brother,

“oh, my bad—i mean, mrs. o’hara needs breakfast!”

[malwaredykes]

the untapped Enemy Of The State Potential is one of boones best funniest traits tbh like ok since im in charge of Awesome Flawless FNV Remake Available Exclusively On My Beautiful Mind im rewriting boones personal #journey arc primarily by expanding on it because i mean yeah fatalistic thinking and the question of agency vs authority and having to live with having done something inexcusable and The Denying Of Closure are good themes but to me theyre not enough here. that lack of closure about something that really intrinsically can never entertain the idea of closure is all well and good, but... lets keep going lets put a pin in that. lets turn once again to boones potential for becoming wanted by the ncr government. boone i know you want to go apeshit. its time to admit that its always been about the system youd been conditioned into never questioning and which you continued to mentally cling to as you felt there was no other purpose or direction to your existence in the wake of all the disastrous events in your life. but its time to develop a grasp on your agency as a human being boone. and yes some of that is going to make you feel worse because, Well. The Complicity. bitter springs. but you know what, it is also freeing and the right thing to do. release your inhibitions feel the rain on your skin. youre already there just look around you. youve cut the ropes that held you back, now its time to rip and shred the ropes that still are wrapped around you. its there. youve physically gotten out. and its time to evolve. "now if iiiiii were to assassinate the president 🤔" i know you want to. im not saying you should but i know youve thought about it before. "guess that settler was well-connected" yes isnt that fucked up i know you think thats fucked up. and oh your friend the courier just did something fucked up at mccarran and all these ncr soldiers and staff are trying to shoot them? of course its the courier youre defending when faced with the immediate choice i mean if its between "fuck the ncr. die" and "fuck the person im ride or die for because theyre a force of destiny that entered my life to change it one way or another and now i care about them deeply. die" well of course youre choosing the path of Leave My FACKING FRIEND Alone You Beasts. but of course the situation doesnt have to be this immediately dire. it doesnt have to stem from an immediate danger to your new object of loyalty. we dont have to let it go down this particular route. no need to have something this drastic happen. you can reach this conclusion simply by giving into the desire youve repressed for years to go apeshit at the ncr government and every arm of its hegemony. that bubbling rage? that "if i let this fester inside me im gonna do a fucking murder-suicide about it"? that in a certain timeline you do in fact end up doing a murder-suicide about? thats not just hateful desperation. thats a feeling, hitherto bottled up and unrefined and volatile, that you should allow to breathe and photosynthesize and grow into something beautiful and true and let it blossom and bear fruit. boone, there is no need to feel alone and helpless and directionless in your unfulfilled desire to cut the umbilical cord.

so. enough rationalizing things as rotten spots and necessary burdens in an otherwise inevitable righteous system, you knowwwww thats pure bullshit. my advice, do some reading. reading is fundamental, and luckily for you, you literally know a very literate anarcho-communist. i can guarantee you that you could walk up to arcade and be like "👉👈 hi gannon soooo i want to get into critiques of capitalism and of the military, and into anarchism and other leftist theory. i want to know about Other Ways to run things. could you give me some recommendations? for books and essays and so on. thanks" and he would be like "boone, yes. Absolutely. yes. i will prepare a reading list for you. gosh." and youll be given a stack of books, with notes and a directory. however, if you two are currently on really bad terms to the point where he doesnt wanna talk to you at all, hey, theres other followers of the apocalypse that would be happy to help. providing education is literally one of their main things. either way, youll finally feel vindicated about things that used to make you feel like you were just going insane. boone you werent going insane you were in fact being onto something. baby that time you saw an ncr military police on the strip facing away from you and there was a loose brick on the ground and it was calling to you like the green goblin mask? that time you were at camp forlorn hope and folks kept saying shit like "that red beret is looking good soldier" and you didnt respond or even look at them because you were focused on containing the urge to grab them by the shoulders and start shrieking? well you see those are actually instincts that tell us you have potential. you have the power to end these patterns. you want to. you need to. thats where you should go. theres a world of ideas waiting for you to tap into and be liberated by. you have nothing to lose but your pitiful pension (you can even keep the beret like who cares). there is so much you can do. its not about allegiance or moral debt or soothing personal guilt, its about doing the right thing. there are so many paths in front of you. also youre trans. like, that one also isnt just you going insane, its real and its right and its you, you are transgender

[generic-sonic-fan]

Omega, to Metal Sonic: ARE YOU NOT TIRED OF BEING OBEDIENT? DO YOU NOT DESIRE TO GO "APESHIT"?