#and a bit of how recent the doom has been still

[labialockercolourised]

Got here in late August 2024 actually lmao and after watching their stuff for three weeks I decided I needed to go to TIT and promptly bought tickets.

My first video was their cinnamon roll baking video that a friend showed me. Loved it and then we binged them reacting to PINOF. That was in 2023 and then I forgot about them lol

Several months later I then started with their Sims series because a lot of friends kept recommending it to me (I’m obsessed with the Sims 4) I’ve watched it twice now. I started watching other of their videos that popped up on recommended and before I knew it I had watched almost all of their gaming channel videos. Currently making my way through their Undertale series and a bunch of the spooky week videos (I have no stomach for horror so that’s been slow). Discovered PJ through them and started watching his stuff too lmao

I then started watching their solo content. I’ve seen most of Phil’s recent content and I’m making my way through Dystopia Daily. I’ve watched Dan’s Basically I’m Gay, Why I Quit YouTube, and Daniel and Depression (I still have to watch We’re all Doomed but I want to make it into a little solo watch party). I’ve watched all the PINOFs, the baking videos, Dan and Phil Crafts, and the DITLs

I recently watched Interactive Introverts (still have to watch TATINOF other than their reaction video) and just read TABINOF and Dan and Phil Go Outside. Started reading Dan’s book.

I know about superamazingproject but I haven’t watched it yet (again, gonna make it into a solo watch party), also want to see what I can find of their BBC radio 1 show. I haven’t watched too many of their old solo stuff. Since I wasn’t there for it I don’t have that nostalgia for it and it actually makes me a bit sad sometimes (mostly for Dan) because the self loathing and internalised homophobia is so evident in retrospect, so it’s difficult to get through. I plan to go through all their still public videos eventually but I know that will take a while and I have no intentions of rushing that.

That’s the gist of it and at this point I do feel like I get most of the inside jokes. Anyways I personally love the self reference I also love the internet history that is so embroiled in their own personal history. I recently took a class on Internet Linguistics and read Gretchen McCulloch’s Because Internet (I recommend this to everybody) so Dan and Phil has been super relevant to it all. Even though I wasn’t a fan pre-hiatus I’ve always sort of known about them in the background and they invoke that older internet feeling so their new stuff still feels super nostalgic for that reason especially as I’ve started reflecting on my childhood, especially my teen years.

I obviously don’t have the same relationship to them as all the pre-hiatus/pre-coming out phannies. They didn’t raise me. However I have recently started embracing my identity as a gay man, so their videos are super fun and heartwarming for that reason. I get how monumental it is and I feel it to an extent but at the end of the day I wasn’t in the trenches with y’all. It’s also super funny because whenever they make those joking digs at their audience I’m just like: lol I take no responsibility for that

i'm so fascinated by phannies that got here in a post coming-out universe. especially like, this year?! in the era of self referential "you're all old now we raised you and now we're gay" era? tell me your story. how did you get here. this is not in a judgemental way btw like let me help you catch up, what have you binge watched. there are like 1,000 dnp videos according to the completionist playlists so i just need to make sure you know about the superamazingproject and such. opening my askbox to this. AMA: an 11 year phannie whose entire teen brain chemistry was soaked in this soup

[navree]

The truth of the matter is that both Targaryen and Velaryon are of the Valyrian race. That’s all Showrunners Ryan and Sara are considering. They are not viewing it as a racial issue of the white family targeting the black one and trying to steal their land.

Yeah that's, like, kinda the problem. In the book the Targaryens and the Velaryons are both Valyrian, so issues between them cannot be viewed through a racialized lens beyond Valyrian supremacy vs the whole of Westeros (which doesn't show up on the Velaryons' end in the book anyway), so that critique cannot exist. But the showrunners changed that, they deliberately changed that by making the Velaryons Black and the Targaryens decidedly not. Which fine, go nuts, but when you're doing that kind of "race bending", especially when adapting a property that already exists, you need to be conscious of that.

I've talked about it before in my discussions on why a lot of "color blind casting" for historical dramas tends not to work out (the 2021 Anne Boleyn show cast Black Boleyns without thinking about the implications of sexually aggressive, dirty nailed, Black Anne Boleyn not only being rivaled by but also literally forcing a kiss on sweet, demure, lily white Jane Seymour, or of giving Black George Boleyn a story about abandoning a child he has with a woman and then of being murdered by his white king due to his white wife fabricating false accusations of sexual impropriety against him, so instead of whatever the Hell they wanted to do, we just had a boring TV show with some really racist implications). And that exists when it comes to adapting race from one story to the next. If you're going to turn white characters into characters of color, that's all well and good, but you need to acknowledge that the way they live their lives and look at the world and are viewed BY the world is going to subsequently change. And more importantly, you need to be aware that how those characters and their storylines are perceived by the audience is going to change as a result of that switch as well.

Because suddenly, it's not two different families of white people fighting over some rock in the ocean. Suddenly, it's a white family, with significantly more social capital and influence in their world, attempting to dispossess a Black family of their longterm, ancestral homeland, that is the only piece of land that they have, for that white family's gain. And that is something that comes with a lot of historical context and historical implication (we're STILL dealing with the ramifications of white-run cities and wealthy white people straight up stealing land and property from Black people during Jim Crow), and that's going to be on people's minds, especially in a show made by an American company and aired on an American network. You have to be aware that you're now not just writing characters, you're writing Black characters, and even in a fantasy world that might not have our history of anti-Black racism, that doesn't exist in a vacuum, especially to the consumer, and that there are going to be implications that might not have existed before that you need to be aware of and take into account.

And this doesn't even touch on my issues with the fact that, out of all the characters, the Velaryons absolutely got the fucking shaft writing wise. And I'm not sure how much you can divorce building up Rhaenyra and Criston or Harwin but not Daemon and Laena, or spending time developing fully fledged personalities for Aegon and Aemond but not Baela and Rhaena, or attempting somewhat consistent motivations for Viserys but not for Corlys and Rhaenys, from the fact that one half of those pairings is Black, and one is white.

They might not view it as a "racial issue", but when they made the change to the Velaryons' race, they made it one, at least in the eyes of the viewers and the context we grew up with and the knowledge that we have. Because creation doesn't exist in the aether, it is influenced by humanity here and it influences how we take it in once we put it out in the world.

[arolesbianism]

I am slowly drip feeding unit swap vbs more songs they have a whole 5 (ish) now wow good for them

[monkey-wrench-series]

One month on; The future of Monkey wrench as a fully animated indie series.

It’s been exactly one month since Ep 3 of Monkey was released to the public, and as the ever want to be as transparent as possible with indie production it’s time we sat down and had a very important discussion on the future of the series…

So, as we said above, one month has passed from the public release of episode 3, and everything hinges on how well it does.

Below are the metrics for it on Youtube;

Our hope was to have ep 3 hit 500k in two weeks. After 31 days we’re still under 470k views, ad rev as you can see is pitiful and engagement has evaporated. Maybe we set our hopes a little too high?

It’s not all doom and gloom though, this is the first ep to get this many views in this amount of time. Our patreon support has grown by 1/3 after the ep came out and our Scratch & Scritch plushies did ok, see images below;

So as of now, we have enough money for voices, sound and music for episode 4. Voice recording begins next week and I hope to start the animatic for the ep sometime after.

As for the animation portion of production… things are looking a little tricky.

As you should know, animation, especially frame by frame stuff like we do, it’s obscenely time intensive and expensive. For ep 3 we had a rough animation rate of $20.83 per 1 second of animation and the same for clean up with very minimal edits and redos.

Seeing the recent animation pay discourse has honestly shaken us up pretty bad, we had no idea how pitiful our pay had been compared to other indies and we in no way want to exploit anyone for their work on the series.

With both Ash and I putting everything we had saved in Eps 1, 2 and 3 and seeing how below average they’ve all performed and with how little we can afford to pay our animators, on top of burning myself out horrifically doing 3 eps in a row, we’ve sadly had to come to the conclusion that full animation for this series is no longer financially possible at our current support level.

That does not mean we’re stopping production, however.

There are two possible routes we can take;

Route 1; Animatic hybrid.

Over the past week and a half I managed to solo out 5 minutes and 15 seconds of animatic keyframe animation for our recently released outtakes video.

At our current support level I can do the animatic keyframe route for most of the mundane stuff in an ep, and then go into full animation for the ‘good bits’, that way we can pay our animators an actual decent wage. Over time if our support grows we can return to full animation.

Route 2: Kickstart ep 4 for $100k

We have thought about doing a kickstarter type thing to get the $100,000 we’d need for the animation portion of the ep. We want to pay our animators properly for their time and skill and this would be the best route to go if we want to have ep 4 fully animated.

However with our current viewership and engagement with eps 1, 2 and 3 I’m not sure we could hit a goal of $100,000 in the 30 days we need.

Is it a risk worth taking?

What would we do for rewards?

Physical rewards would take money away from animation production and things like animated rewards would take time away from myself working on the ep.

That’s pretty much where my mind has been at the past few days. I’d love to hear your input and thoughts on how you would like us to proceed.

[agatharkn3ss]

Agatha's info/rumours

I thought I'd pull together all the info we've been shown in ep.6 and add my interpretation to it. I still can't believe that Billy read these short bits and claimed he knew an "egregious" amount about Agatha.

As usual, biased towards Agathario, because I think they are heavily implying Agatha's connection to Death (I mean yes, the writers could just be trying to explain why the internet would be so invested in her identity, but still)

First of all - "333 partial results for Agatha Harkness Ancient Witch". I love yet another allusion to how Agatha is linked with number 3, making her the actual harbinger of doom (I explain this here).

It's interesting that the related questions are all about the immortality of the witches:

Are witches immortal?

Do real witches ever die?

How do you kill a witch?

How old is the oldest witch?

If we didn't have other super-old witches in the show, it would make me wonder if Agatha didn't make some sort of pact with Death (Rio), where she provides "bodies" to her in exchange for her long life. But as it is, we have Lilia as 450+ years old and Jen is also older than a century, but you don't see them trying to kill people (I think).

The very first search result is quite fun:

"The Macabre Wiki – a comprehensive encyclopaedia of all things that only come out after dark. Created by two blood witched from Salem"

No matter what, I will forever believe this is Agatha and Rio's page. (for reasons explained here)

The rest of the search results are not as exciting:

Witchy Resource – Ancient witches and ancient warlocks are not well documented traditionally and usually for good reason…

Witches and Aging – Apparently, witches are able to chose how they age and present themselves to humans. Some withes choose to stop again at a certain point staying roughly 30 years old visually for literally hundreds of years.

Dreadit – Salem Witch Trials – Recently I’ve been researching a ton on the SWT and not many people know this but there are reports of witches that actually survived burning and drowning

The Art of the Ancients – Learn about the secret art of witchcraft and the witches that have [...]

So this suggests Agatha specifically chose her look and age. Neat. Quite empowering really.

Also, another suggestion that some witches can be immortal and survive burning and drowning. I wonder if we will see this in the show - Agatha and Rio having absolute blast at mocking people who were trying to torture/kill Agatha, only to realise she wasn't feeling any pain, she would just raise and shout "Surprise witches!".

Then we go onto the Salem Witch Trials page. This pretty much confirms what we already know about them. I immediately clocked how all the handles only have green or purple colours... Coincidence? I've not tried to decipher the names, but if anyone has any suggestions, let me know!

witchygirlblack: Did any witches survive the Salem witch trials? Are they still alive? Where are they? Witches can live for hundreds of years, so the ones that survived the trials might still be out there [] witchkraft dreadit, you must know of some?

4thlevelwarlock: The Salemites, Evanora Harkness’s coven, were prominent in the area. I’ve heard rumours [...]the young children from the coven escaped

SamSamwitch: @4thlevelwarlock look familiar? [Agatha image link]

BoftheEast: be careful posting about her just saying

Then Billy takes the photo through reverse image search. I know these are tiny, inconsequential details but I still love them:

"Looky" sounds like a little nod to Lilia's "kooky"

The letters “o” have moons inside of them.

Each letter has different colour that seems to align with the witches – light blue (Jan - water trial?), purple (Agatha - spirit), yellow (Lilia - air), dark blue (Billy?), orange (Alice – fire)

This search then leads to a number of events that Agatha has been spotted at. Rather than pull out the quotes, I'm going to put the events in a chronological order and add relevant background info:

Salem Witch Trials (1692-1693) - this was a series of hearings and prosecutions of people accused of witchcraft in colonial Massachusetts. More than 200 people were accused. It was the deadliest witch hunt in the history of colonial North America. This is the time where Agatha's mother and her coven try to "punish" her for using "the darkest of magic". Her fingers weren't black, so she's unlikely to have had Darkhold back then. (btw the script for this suggests Agatha was 18 at the time, so she was born ~1675, making her ~351 years old in 2026)

The Eastern Seaboard - Although we don't know the exact dates, there are "unconfirmed reports of Agatha traveling the Eastern Seaboard". This could relate to various areas but this is likely just referring to the US East Coast. The Thirteen Colonies, which formed the United States in 1776 were located on this coast, playing an important role in the development of the United States.

The sinking of the Titanic (1912) - the British ocean liner sank as a result of striking an iceberg on her maiden voyage from Southampton, England, to New York City, US. Of the estimated 2,224 passengers and crew aboard, approximately 1,500 died. Agatha is listed as one of the survivors

The Hindenburg disaster (1937) - a German commercial passenger airship caught fire and was destroyed during its attempt to dock at Lakehurst, New Jersey, on its journey from Frankfurt, Germany. The accident caused 35 fatalities among the 97 people on board, and an additional fatality on the ground. The publicity shattered public confidence in the giant, passenger-carrying rigid airship and marked the abrupt end of the airship era. Again, Agatha is spotted as a woman who "survived the explosion then disappeared"

"Jolene" (1972-1973) - The headline states "Does this 1972 Surveillance photo of Dolly Parton show the real Jolene?" and Jac Schaeffer confirmed that yes, Agatha = Jolene. So I had some fun with this, because why not?! I wondered what Agatha's play would've been here. Is she truly after Dolly's "man" - if so, in what way? Or is she after Dolly herself? Note that although the article says 1972, later on we also see statement that Agatha was last seen in Nashville Tennessee, 1973. Now - that year in Nashville, Dolly not only recorded "Jolene" in May, but a month later she also recorded "I will always love you" - a song that is widely understood to be a goodbye song to her business partner because she decided to pursue solo career. In my head this is all a result of Agatha's influence, who showed Dolly her real power.

On that note, I don't think we would be far off assuming that as Agatha kept Dolly (or her man) her company, she would've actually come across Lorna Wu herself? We know it was similar time, because "The Ballad of the Witches Road" record was made in 1978. Alice mentions how she got her tattoo in Colorado as her mum was playing at the Red Rocks amphitheatre. Dolly Parton also performed at the Red Rocks in 1972 (the same year as the camera footage), so Agatha could've been there...

Finally, we get to the "brujapedia" - the encyclopaedia of witches. It's fun to speculate who could be running this page - the whole theme is black and white, with red highlights. There is also an image of a raven - as I discussed it before, it is a symbol of bridging the world of life and death. So it would be fun if it was Death herself maintaining it, as she would be the only one who would truly know who the real witches were. Also it would be a cool census of who is still remaining for her to "collect" their dues.

Another good spot from @chaotic-homoromantic is that "bruja" is a Spanish word for "witch", giving us another hint to Rio.

I couldn't really find any info on any other names other than the top one. Abigail Adams was a founder of the US, wife of John Adams, the second US president and mother of John Quincy Adams, the 6th US president. I'd like to think witches had some input back then.

Also interesting is how Agatha's surname is misspelled - it has two Ks. I wonder why that is - no way it's a mistake, seeing how much detail they've put into this. Maybe it's a subtle suggestion that this information came straight from Agatha herself or as a joke from someone who knows her, since she's known for using wrong words. (or it could just be a suggestion that all of the other names on this list are also misspelled, explaining why we can't find any info on them)

Then we get to some info about her - most of which I already collated into the timeline above. There is also a vague mention of Nicky: "Agatha Harkness. Son. Name unkown, rumours [...]"

But there are also some other bits - hilariously referred to as "FUN" facts:

Fun Facts:

Murdered her entire coven

Possesses succubus powers

Nick name is “witch killer!”

Only known survivor of The Witches Road

Folklore references: It is said certain children’s book make reference to Agatha [...]

Funny how the nickname absolutely includes the exclamation mark. I feel like maybe Jen was the one who submitted this info.

As for the children's book - I feel like it wouldn't be just a single story but more like the Grimm's Fairy Tales. Following Lilia's comment, Agatha probably was the template they used for "evil witches" - poisoning apples and stealing kids and eating children. It's not something she would deny anyway.

Now, the Succubus comment is interesting. In lore they are generally depicted as a sexual being - "a female demon or supernatural entity in folklores who appears in dreams to seduce men, usually through sexual activity."

But I think in Agatha's case, things are different. Yes, she has the charisma and can probably seduce people quite easily (I mean, she probably seduced Death, didn't she?). But I don't think that's like a magical power. In fact, if it was, it think it would be really unfair to Agatha, erasing the fact that her character had to build and evolve around her experiences and the fact that she had to survive - "in a way that few do". So I think this "fun fact" could be partially coming from someone's snarky comment (Dolly Parton's?), who just wanted to take away Agatha's agency. Or fell for Agatha and then blamed it on her "powers" rather than admitting their own gullibility. Just like women over the centuries were accused of witchcraft and casting curses if things simply didn't go the way someone wanted.

Plus the way she goes about getting her magic from people is absolutely not seductive. She simply finds a way to annoy the heck out of the target!

But of course, that's not all there is to it, because on the other hand Agatha has her syphoning ability - now that could also be described as the "succubus powers" referred to above. In DnD succubus attacks using a "Deadly kiss", basically draining the essence of life and I feel like this is quite a good description:

"The kiss of a succubus is an echo of the emptiness that is the fiend’s longing for a corrupted soul. Likewise, the recipient of the fiend’s kiss gains no satisfaction from it, experiencing only pain and the profound emptiness that the fiend imparts. The kiss is nothing short of an attack, usually delivered as a final farewell before the fiend escapes."

In that magic/soul sucking way, she would have more parallels to Death, explaining their connection. More so, if Agatha can't control her powers - because Death does not really have much control either, she just has to do her job when the time comes.

[alphajocklover]

Hey 😈 I wish someone would help me become a massive gay bodybuilding whore. I’m already on my way gaining weight, but I wanna be gigantic. Think you could help?

So you want to become, in your own words, a massive gay bodybuilding whore. That shouldn’t be too hard. As I’ve already shown you through my other post, there are numerous ways that people can get transformed into different types of jocks. The fact you want to specifically be a slutty gay jock does complicate things a little, since certain methods would turn you straight, but it’s still pretty simple. Instajock comes to mind as a good method for example, although I’ve talked about that app quite a bit recently and would rather discuss something new. There are many ways people can transform that I haven’t mentioned in the slightest, and your question actually brings up one I’ve been wanting to talk about for a long time. Mainly the emoji you used. Yep, for this transformation we’re going to get some help from someone very special: the Devil.

When I say the devil, I don’t really mean ‘The Devil’. Don’t get me wrong, he is a devil, but he’s not the devil from the bible. He just… works for him. I know that sounds bad, and honestly it definitely is. I don’t know much about the religious side of the magical world, but I do know that the Devil, with a capital D, does exist. He might be a fallen angel who wants to turn humanity to sin like from religious text, or he might just be a very powerful magical being using human religion to boost his own reputation, but either way he definitely exists. And just like in the old folk stories, he makes deals with people in exchange for their souls. Strangely, as the stories had spread and grown more prevalent, the demand for a deal with the Devil has actually skyrocketed. You’d think a bunch of stories about how making a deal for your soul is a bad idea would discourage people, but surprisingly it’s only increased business. Because of that the Devil’s operation has grown. The Devil is powerful, but he’s not god, he isn’t omniscient. So, to keep up with demand, he began to delegate. Instead of doing one deal at a time and seeing to every deal personally, he has a large team of demons that make deals for him. That's where my friend Nick comes in.

Nick isn’t his real name, but since humans can’t really pronounce his name he just lets me call him Nick. He is one of the more powerful demons working for the Devil, and specializes in making sexually explicit deals. As you can probably guess, he deals with a lot of people and has made a lot of deals. He’s not as outright evil as you might expect though, and he was actually a close friend of my Uncle. He had a sort of soft spot for my Uncle, and would often help him out with certain things. I don’t know how they met or why my Uncle seemed to be friends with a literal demon, but they got along really well. Now that my Uncle’s gone though, he helps me instead. I think he does it a bit out of guilt. He couldn’t protect my Uncle, his favorite mortal, from being turned into a jock, so now he protects me. Because of this I like to send him a willing victim now and then, as a thank you.

So, your first instinct is probably to say no. I mean, as much as you want to be a gay jock slut, you probably don’t want to sell your soul and be doomed to an eternity in hell. The thing is, these days they usually don’t ask for your soul. The Devil long figured out that there were more subtle ways to get what he wanted, so usually the contracts ask for something else. Sometimes it’s something significant, sometimes it’s almost nothing. Whatever it is usually works into his very complicated plans somehow in a way we almost can’t comprehend, but he never asks for your soul anymore. In exchange for becoming a massive gay bodybuilder jock, all Nick would require is… your car.

Yes, the devil wants your car. You’re probably wondering why, and honestly I don’t know. It’s not even a new car, and it’s kind of lame. But that's what he wants, and in exchange he’ll give you the body and mind of your dreams. I know you’re probably pretty skeptical, and If I’m being honest there probably is some sort of catch, but-

Oh! Ok, so, you’re doing it. I was expecting a bit more resistance but you seem pretty sure. Well, I do hope it works out for you. All you have to do is write your name on the contract and the deal will be sealed. Just write your name at the bottom there… and perfect! You’ve just made a deal with a devil!

I know you feel a little confused, but give it a second, it will pass. A sudden change in your body is always disorienting, but you’ll get used to the new you pretty quickly. I mean, look at you! You’re absolutely massive! Those arms, those pecs, those shoulders! God you really got a great deal. You get to live out your fantasy life, and all you had to do was get rid of a piece of shit car. I can’t be sure why he wanted it, but my best guess was that it’s going to cause a butterfly effect where, because your car didn’t cause a traffic jam when it broke down or something, something else will never happen. But there isn’t any use in dwelling on it anymore. You’ve made the deal, so fucking enjoy it! Go out there and have hot gay sex with as many guys as you can! You made a deal with the devil, you might as well get all you can out of it!

**hey everyone! Been a little bit! I’ve been kind of distracted and busy lately but I’m still alive and kicking! Hope you guys like this story and keep tuned for more! I also wanna make clear I am not trying to offend any religious group. I just love the deal with the devil idea.**

[gildedneon]

That Which I Cannot See

That Which I Cannot See - Part 1 - Pure Imagination

Respectfully, you may not use my work, but you are welcome to share it. My work is only intended for those 18 and older as it contains explicit adult themes.

Summary: Basically A Star is Born but make it Sleep Token. A video of you singing Take Me Back to Eden gets attention online and you're invited to sing backup vocals at their next concert. Only, you end up doing a lot more than just that. The first in what will be at least a 3 part series.

Pairing: Vessel x Fem!Reader 

Tags: Hand stuff (for now), mask play, concealed identity play, obscured vision/partial blindfolding, is this a musical now?, shower play with the lights off, monster kink? if you squint?, spiritual cult leader Vessel, dirty talk.

Word Count: 5.4k

A/N: I enjoy candlelit showers while blasting Sleep Token and inspiration struck one day while listening to Take Me Back to Eden. What if? So I wrote it. I have already planned out a part 2 & 3, so fear not, our journey has just begun.

Read on Ao3

-------------

So there I was, doom scrolling Instagram when *ping*

“Sleep_Token: We loved your video” My brows furrow. That can’t actually be their official account. Tapping the notification, I switch to my finsta, where I post anonymous videos of myself singing. I recently shared a clip of an acoustic cover of Take Me Back to Eden that got a decent amount of attention, but I didn’t think it got that much attention. The message thread opens just as another is coming in. 

“Sleep_Token: How would you feel about joining us sometime?” What the hell? 

I click their profile. Blue check mark. Holy shit. Shock has me so caught up I can’t even think of a clever response. Or any response for that matter.

What does ‘joining us' mean? Like for an orgy or going to a show? Because I’m down for both, but I only have tickets for one of those things. At least my brain is still cracking jokes. I stare at my phone and figure out something to say.

“Hi! Thanks! I actually will be at the show this Friday. I can’t wait :)” My heart does a little somersault as I hit send. 

“Sleep_Token: Perfect. Our manager will reach out for details. Bring something black to wear. We’ve got the rest covered!”

What the fuck does that mean? Reaching out for details for what? What is ‘the rest’ and how is it ‘covered’???

*ping*

The DM from the manager comes in. 

On auto-pilot, I go back and forth with the manager. Realization sets in… I’m going to be backstage at the Sleep Token show. I’m going to meet the Espera and sing with them. On stage. At the Sleep Token show. Friday. In less than a week. What the fuck.

Four days… I have four days to perfect my outfit. Immediately, I FaceTime my best friend. She answers on the second ring.

“Callie… you’re never gonna believe this.”

“Alright??… spill bitch”

-------------

My stride lengthens to keep up with the woman leading me through bright lit hallways. The week had flown by in a blur. Now it’s Friday and I’m being led backstage in sweats and a tank. I hadn’t fully wrapped my head around their invitation. But what I really hadn’t wrapped my head around was what had been developing since that night. Once I had gotten off the phone with Callie, I saw I had a DM request from a username I didn’t recognize.

“Hey it’s V” I think my brain had short circuited. It all felt like it came out of nowhere. I guess that’s the thing about change, it doesn’t happen until it just… does. We had started chatting  and it continued throughout the week, getting to know each other a bit, what we enjoy, what we don’t, our favorite colors, and even a bit of flirting. Another strange development in a situation that materialized all too quickly. But it was exciting. It has been a while since I’ve been truly excited about something or …someone. 

I think it helps that we don’t really know each other. Our identities are a secret. It’s sort of like getting to know the contents of a box without getting to know the box, if that makes sense. It’s hard to explain, but I like it. Being myself comes easier this way. There are less distractions.

My guide comes to a stop and knocks on a door. Anticipation grips me as it opens, a woman dressed in black greets us with a smile on her face. 

“Come on in! We’re excited to meet you.” The Espera, or the three female background vocalists, usher me into the dressing room and to a spot in front of the mirror. Their welcoming energy helps quell my buzzing thoughts. We fall into easy conversation as I work on my hair and makeup. The dress I chose is sexy but functional. Thin straps, square neckline dipping in a quick plunge, finished off with a thigh high slit. My hair tumbles around my shoulders and down my back in a lion’s mane of waves. My lips are painted the darkest shade of red, the only real part of my face that will be seen from behind the gold mask that lays on the counter before me.

The Espera give me a crash course in backup vocals. No pressure, just last minute winging it in front of 13,000 people. I still can’t wrap my head around this, even as they help fit the mask to my face. It looks just like theirs, intricate bronze scrollwork curling down my cheeks, leaving only my mouth and jaw exposed. The mesh panels over the eyes allow me to make out shapes and light. So I can see plenty, but it doesn’t feel that way. For me, I might as well be blind. It’s the feeling of being out of control, a vulnerability that leaves me a bit raw and on edge.

A knock raps at the door and my ears grasp at every little sound, attempting to make up for my lack of sight. The women gather as it clicks open. Their blurry forms disappear to the sounds of scuffling shoes. The door closes. My blurred vision watches as a dark figure slowly makes its way across the mirrored space. Fully blind I would know it was him. The magnetism of his presence is threatening to drag me in like the gravity of a blackhole. It’s supermassive…

I hold my breath as he surveys me. It would be a lie to say that I am not intimidated under his gaze. Despite the disguise, the feeling of vulnerability remains.

“This suits you. How does it feel?” He purrs his approval. The tension in my chest eases. 

“Thank you. How does what feel?”

“Your transformation.”

“Transformation? Into what?” My breath hitches, I can see his dark figure looming behind me.

“Your true self.”

“I’m not really sure what you mean by that. As excited as I am, I am also a little nervous.”

“What are you nervous about?”

“I’m not sure if it’s one specific thing. I just don’t know what to expect. I’ve never done this before. I know I’m wearing a mask but it still feels scary to have people actually watching me. This is worlds away from posting anonymous videos online.”

“I can understand. For us, the disguises are about showing the parts of ourselves that do not feel comfortable in our daily lives. Whether that is because we feel they should be hidden or we lack a suitable outlet. So it’s really not a disguise at all, but a revelation. By wearing this mask, I take off the invisible one I wear everyday. I embody the aspects of myself that I wouldn’t otherwise. So ask yourself… What would that feel like for you? Who would you allow yourself to be if you knew you were free from judgement?”

“I think it would feel freeing. But how am I supposed to figure that out tonight?”

“A lot can happen in just one night.”

Unsure of what to say, I sigh and tilt my head. A gentle tap on the side of my mask is his response. I stare straight ahead, looking upon our blurry reflections in the mirror.

“Envision yourself right now. A different version of you, a fantasy. Who could you be? How would you carry yourself? What presence do you bring? Take a minute. Close your eyes if you need. Think of the answer and then feel it. Become it. This is the transformation. It is first in your mind and then, in your being.”

I take a breath, close my eyes, and do as he says. I see the masked version of me, painted with black, a version of me that no one knows. Not even myself. She can be anything. I can be anything. This essence blossoms in my bones, radiating until it anchors itself into my being. Excitement ripples under my skin. I open my eyes.

“How does it feel?”

“It feels… different. I see myself but also… more.”

Vessel tilts his head.

“I saw paint. On my neck and it ran down.” Skimming my hands over my arms to illustrate my point.

“Stand.” I pray my knees don’t give out as I follow his command.. His proximity sends little electric waves skating along my skin.

“You know it’s true what they say. Depriving one sense, heightens the others. Close your eyes.”

I do as he says. Anticipation coursing through me.

“Touch, for example.” 

His hands skate up my arms, over my bare shoulders to my neck. His fingers stroke along my skin, pressing into the muscles and working at the tension. Other parts of me start to crave the same and the weight of arousal settles between my thighs. I exhale a sigh. His fingertips play along my skin, alighting little sparks. Just as I’m being lulled into a daze, he stops. Moving away from me, he leans against the counter, silently staring. The vulnerability isn’t as uncomfortable now. Security has replaced whatever fear I felt before. He reaches for something on the counter.

“May I? I have an idea for you with this paint.” 

“You may.” I tease lightly and I hear the sound of spinning plastic. 

The light of the room is dimmed as he steps closer. Both hands come around my neck and fear takes root in an instant. What am I doing? I’m alone with a man who is dressed like a demon god, his hands are wrapped around my throat, and we are in a room where no one can hear me scream…probably. Oh no…. Should I be worried about how that turned me on?

Instead of squeezing the air from my lungs, he works the paint onto my skin. His fingers splay as he drags his hands down both sides of my neck. His fingernails scrape over my collarbones, stopping just before the neckline of my dress. My eyes fall closed and I can’t help the sigh that escapes or the shudder that runs through my body. Nor can I help imagining what it would feel like to have his hands on my thighs. Leaving a sinful trail of evidence, as he explored more sensual areas of my body. Circling behind me, his hands clasp my arms, leaving one last mark.

“Look at yourself.” His deep voice jarring me from my haze. Even with my obscured vision, I can clearly see the twin trails of black that drag down my neck, stopping just before my breasts and the stark handprints on my upper arms.

“It looks like I’ve been marked by a monster.” I say, amusement clear in my tone. 

Silence. A brief moment of tension, then his hand wraps around my throat. He leans closer to me.

“Are you calling me a monster?” His teasing is mixed with tones of darkness. I shudder at the thrill. 

“No. Monsters are scary and I’m not scared of you” …Yet 

“Do you want to be scared of me?” His voice is low in my ear.

“Maybe a little” Maybe more than a little.

I see his head tilt in the mirror. I can’t see his eyes but I feel them flaying me alive, gleaning every dark desire snaking through my body. He releases me, putting a bit more distance between us. 

“As much as I would love to explore that, it’s about time we get ready to go on. You’ll be brilliant. If you get nervous just remember my touch and how it’s plain for everyone to see.” I could feel him wink at me as he said that. It wasn’t the worst suggestion. That would certainly distract my thoughts from wandering into anxiety, but it would distract me in other ways. Blushing, I step through the door he holds for me, and follow him down the hall.

-------------

Like a cutscene in a movie, suddenly I’m on stage and the show is taking off. The lights and sounds are overwhelming. I allow myself a few minutes to adjust. Slowly, I begin to pick up the swaying movements from the Espera. Taking cues from their hazy shapes. Then, I allow my voice to softly join theirs. The flashing mass of screaming fans mere feet away is difficult to tune out, but I let them blur into shapes through my mask and my voice rises to the music. With each song they play, my confidence grows, and I feel that vision of myself, from the dressing room, coming to life.

Well, I know what you want from me

You want someone to be your reflection, your bitter deception

Setting you free, so you take what you want and leave

Excitement strikes like lightning. Of course I knew this song was coming, but being a part of it? Dancing while every instrument reverberates through my body?  

Won’t you come and dance in the dark with me?

Tapping into that sensual side of me, I allow it to take form, my hips swaying to the rhythm. I trail my fingertips over my body, and pleasure ripples behind my touch. Hearing whispers of my voice wafting through the background is unreal.

Lipstick, chemtrails, red flags, pink nails

I once made a comment to Callie about how I fantasize about being in an orgy while this song plays because it never fails to turn me on. The way the beat builds and morphs, the lyrics on top of that, it feels like seduction. My voice vibrates through my being, sparking a dark desire that flares with the melody. My eyes fall shut as I remember our time together in the dressing room. I feel his phantom touch along my skin and surrender myself to the sensations.

You make me wish I could disappear

The music dies down, somber notes begin to rise. Recognition flutters in my heart. This is the song that first drew my attention to him… and his attention to me. My eyes snap open on instinct, despite my obstructed view, I see a dark figure approach me, blocking out the crowd. My heart begins to race. I tilt my masked face up at his towering form. He grabs my hand and leads me from behind my place in the background. There we are, front and center. I have no idea what he is doing or what he expects of me. My blood roars through my ears, beating against the tense curiosity of the all too quiet crowd. Curious cheers ring out, but my focus is drawn to him.

I dream in phosphorescence 

Bleed through spaces

My nails scrape restlessly against the fabric of my dress. I have no idea what he wants from me. We never talked about this. Am I just supposed to stand here? Am I supposed to sing a specific part or harmony? My thoughts race as panic begins to sink its claws into me. 

His finger curls under my chin. The gentle weight of him pulls me from the quicksand of my mind. 

I’m transfixed as he sings to me.

My, my those eyes like fire I’m a winged insect you’re a funeral pyre. 

A calm intensity settles in as I focus on the figure before me. Like a siren song his entire being draws me in until there is no one else. No crowd. Not even the band. Just him and me.

The music begins to build. I feel it in my chest. His hand lightly strokes my chin in invitation. The energy builds in my stomach and moves up my throat. God, it feels like it’s going to burst out of me. So I close my eyes and let it.

I will travel far beyond the path of reason. Take me back to Eden. Take me back to Eden

Our melody turns into harmonious wails. 

Take me back to Edeeeennn

My eyes open to a flash of white teeth as he grins down at me, the music continuing its heavy intensity. That grin against his mask and paint, looks every bit like the monster I mentioned. The music drops into a quiet tempo and he steps closer, leaning in as his hood brushes my cheek. 

“Stay.” He commands, before sauntering off, just as three chords are played. 

Well yeah I spit blood when I wake up

He crouches towards the swarming crowd as he recites the lines. Waving hands and screaming smiles line the front of the crowd. As I watch him move across the stage, I remember his painted marks on my skin. My cheeks burn as he approaches me again.

I need you to see me for what I have become

Long fingers wrap around mine, bringing my hand to grasp the microphone, joining him for the chorus. 

My, my those eyes like fire 

My voice is a sweet backdrop contrasting his, as we sing together until the beat drops off. The hand folded atop mine loosens, his arm falling slack and I let go of the mic. His free hand sneaks through my hair, cradling my head in his hand. The sounds of birds chirping flit around the notes of the piano. This intimate moment sets me ablaze as I remember there are thousands of people watching. Jealousy licks at my sides from the scrutiny of their gaze. I pay them no mind. 

His hands fall from my hair, as he lifts the mic, but sings to me.

I guess it goes to show does it not 

That we’ve no idea what we’ve got until we lose it

His words resonate through my chest. Understanding the opportunity tonight presents, I want to make the most of this night, of this connection, and just enjoy whatever is to come.

No amount of self-sought fury will bring back the glory of innocence

Sound pours from me as I join him singing once again. The music sweeps me along and I ascend with it.

We were tangled up like branches in a flood

What happens next takes me by surprise. Vessel loops an arm around my waist, drawing me in until my dress brushes against his belt. He screams the ending lines with such intensity I feel as if I’m being hit by a hurricane. I can barely make out what he’s saying. My heart seizes with another little thrill of fear. All I see is the fierce glint of teeth through the contortions of his mouth as the music fades out. 

Piano keys begin to play, as he leads me back to my place among the Espera. This is the last song of the show, Euclid. What a beautiful note to end on. I channel all the joy in my little heart into singing this final song. I know maybe the lyrics aren’t the happiest but I can’t help but feel light while singing it. Our voices fade out, as he brings things to a close.

The whites of your eyes, turn black in the lowlight

So give me the night, the night, the night…

-------------

We stopped by the dressing room long enough for me to grab my belongings and then he was leading me through more hallways. He holds a door open for me and I step into a gaudy locker room. Leading the way, I follow him through the space and into a long room. The harsh fluorescence glares off of the white tile lining the walls. On the left, is a mirrored wall of sinks and who knows what else. On the right, benches border each door frame, opening into showers. 

We walk a few stalls down, I hang my tote and arrange my clothes on the bench as he wanders away. Pulling out a hair tie, I twist my hair up into a messy bun. Butterflies twist through my belly as he returns to my side, hanging a towel on my hook. We’ve shared this entire night, this entire week, without seeing each other’s face, perhaps we’ve seen a deeper truth. Either way, I’m not ready for it to end.

Inspiration strikes and I stride back to the main door and begin to flick the lights off one by one until all that is left is the glow of the adjoining locker room. His masked face tilts as his attention focuses on me. Grabbing the door handle, I pull it closed behind me until only a necessary sliver of light shines through. Giving my eyes a second to adjust, I carefully make my way back to my bench. I feel another thrill of excitement at the atmosphere. The near pitch black, the silence all around us, almost like something you’d see in a scary movie. I hear clothes rustling from the bench he is at. I’m still working on undoing the straps of my heels when I hear the harsh splash of water against tile. Once all of my outfit has made it into my tote, I take cautious steps into the awaiting shower.

“I wanted to keep the mystery going but maybe it’s a bit too dark.” So dark, that I can barely make out the other person in my proximity. My hands feel along the cool tiles for support.

“Give it a minute. Your eyes will adjust.” He’s calm. Still. Giving me space to acclimate. No longer clutching at the wall, I can make out the shape of him easier. Barely, I see the steam from the water and pumps of soap attached to the wall.

“Will they adjust enough to be able to tell the difference between which is the soap and which is the conditioner?” I tease.

“Hmm might have to go with good ole trial and error on that” Our laughter echoes against the walls. 

Stepping closer, I let my gaze wander. The lines of his muscles catch what little light there is. My breath hitches, the difference in our height is exaggerated now that I am barefoot. The way he looms over me keeps his face masked in shadow. Again, the thrill of being alone with this strange, dark god shivers through me, bringing my awareness back to the arousal that has been burning all night.

“Well I will gladly volunteer as the test subject.” 

“And I will gladly accept. I didn’t want to assume…”

“I would actually prefer if you do assume.” I step closer to him. Even in the pitch black I can see his head tilt down at me.

“Did you enjoy yourself tonight?”

“I did.  I’ve never experienced anything like it.” I say almost reverently.

“Shall we keep the experience going then?” A shiver runs through my body

“Yes.” I breathe..

“Sing for me?” My brows jump up. Posting videos of me singing alone in my house and singing background vocals could not prepare me for this.

“What do you want me to sing?”

“Anything” My mind goes blank all for one song. I take a deep breath to still my nerves. 

Come with me, and you’ll be, in a world of pure imagination

Tentatively, I recite the words.

Take a look and you’ll see

Into your imagination

There is no life I know

To compare with pure imagination

His voice joins mine. 

Living there, you’ll be free

I stop, allowing him to finish the verse

If you truly wish to be

Courage is easier found in the dark I realize, when my hands begin to trail along his chest and I continue singing.

If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it

Anything you want to, do it

My long nails gently scrape across his abs as his fingers trace the black paint along my chest.

“What a mess I’ve made.” The timbre of his voice sends desire rushing through me. Reaching back, he grabs something from one of the dispensers and lathers his hands. The creamy substance spreads down my shoulders as he begins to work out the tension in my muscles. His hands began to slip down to above my breasts. Working in slow circles. The combination of excitement and desire keeps my mind sharp despite the haze of lust. His thumbs swipe across my skin with a delicious pressure. Grasping the tops of my arms, he leans towards me and my lips hum in anticipation. His mouth grazes past my cheek. 

“I think… this is conditioner” He murmurs in my ear. I can’t help the surprised giggle that escapes me. I can feel his amusement even as he turns from me. The muted clicks of the dispenser can be heard over the shower stream. When he faces me again, the energy shifts. A thrill runs through me as he grabs the back of my neck with one hand.

“May I?” He echoes the familiar words he spoke earlier in the night.

“You may.” I breathe and his lathered hand begins running down my neck, as his other creeps up into my hair. My head tilts back. The glow from the distant light flashes off his sharp grin. His hand moves lower down my chest, as he works at the paint there. I’m not sure which is more arousing. Him painting me or washing it off. My nipples harden and a dull throb settles between my thighs just as his large hand sweeps over my breast. His fingers capture my nipple, flexing and rolling against my soft skin. I exhale shakily as he moves on to the other, giving it the same treatment. Grabbing my hips, he pulls me into the water, washing away his claim, his touch laying stake to a new one. Then he flips me around, I catch myself on the cool tile wall. As he steps closer, I can feel him pressed against me. 

“I very much enjoyed having my mark on you, clear for everyone to see.” His voice is low against my ear, as his lips drag over my neck, gently nipping at my skin. The hand on my right hip slides down my thigh. My legs tense in anticipation. His fingers begin swiping in teasing strokes, closer and closer to where I burn for his touch. 

“Tell me, what has you so wet for me?” I let out a whimper as his fingertips slide through the evidence of his claim. 

“Was it on stage? When I whispered in your ear?” Stay. I shook my head. That definitely turned me on but it wasn’t where it started. The memory of us in the dressing room, with his hands around my neck flickers through my mind. Just that quick thought stokes the already well fanned flames of arousal.

“Before the show in the dressing room” I say and receive a hum of approval. I’m rewarded as his finger dips inside me ever so slightly. His strokes are shallow, only increasing my need for him.

“What about it?” His fingers slow, urging me to respond. It’s hard to think through the fog of my desire.

“When you painted my neck.” Relief washes over me as he picks up his still too slow pace. His left hand moves from my hip, trailing over my fluttering stomach, paying brief attention to my breast, before sliding around my throat. My thighs clench around his hand before I can help myself, my body vibrating with anticipation.

“Ah so this is what you like?” His grip tightens as he speaks and my hips rock back desperate for more than this teasing. All I accomplish is grinding my ass against his cock. He inhales sharply but presses himself fully against me. 

“So eager.” He laughs. “Is this what you’ve wanted?” His fingers still move at a languid pace, but curl deeper inside me.

“Yes” I nod enthusiastically.

“But it’s not enough is it?” I shake my head. Because despite the pleasure I felt, the need was greater. The need to feel more of him, to have more of him. He obliges, sliding in a second finger. I cry out, my cheeks heat from embarrassment at the echo. I press my lips together, stifling my moans. His fingers still. He leans forward, his chest against my back, pressing me into the wall.

“Don’t stop singing for me now” He purrs and the rumble in his chest vibrates through my own.

“It’s just you and me. There’s no one else.”

I exhale heavily as my mouth parts. Right away, he rewards me with deliberate strokes of his fingers. The hand around my neck lazily works at the muscles there and waves of ecstasy shoot through me. My nails catch on the grout between the tiles as pleasure begins to coil tight in my muscles. I’m lost in the way my moans reverberate around us as his thumb carefully starts working my clit. It’s consuming. The stretch of his fingers, dragging over every sensitive spot inside me, playing my body like an instrument. His hips roll against my backside, grinding against me. I can feel the hard length of him, thick and hot against me. I begin to crave more and the thought alone of feeling all of him inside me brings me towards the peak. 

“Someday I will have all of you and you will have all of me. Until then I will have the memory of how wet and tight you are around my fingers. Wishing you were wrapped around my cock instead.” My hips rocked, practically riding his hand as the pleasure ramping up inside me spun so tight I felt it would snap at any moment. “Every time I look at my hand I want to remember how it felt to have you come on my fingers.” A ragged cry left my throat as his words pushed me over the edge. The tension inside me broke. Shattered shards of pleasure sliced through me as my body shook. His hand slipped out of me and I felt him work himself against my ass. Tremors skittered through me as I began to come down from my high. The cooling fire in my core alighting anew at the knowledge that he would soon follow. The hand around my neck had slid to brace himself against the wall.

“I want to feel you claim me again.” Shortly after those words left my mouth, I heard him groan. He shuddered against me as I felt hot spurts of him against my hip and back. His cheek came to rest against the top of my head. We stayed pressed against the wall as our breathing and heart rates slowed.

“Well I’m afraid I’ve made a bigger mess than when we started.” My body vibrates against his as I laugh. He pulls me back to the water and gets to work cleaning me off.

“Ves. Thank you, for tonight.” The nickname felt a bit strange on my tongue but appropriate given the standing of our relationship now.

“The pleasure was mine. Thank you for joining us and thank you for indulging me.” 

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

“I’m flattered… We will see each other again, you know.” Now it’s my turn to tilt my head at his words.

“Will we?” The possibility hadn’t even crossed my mind. Everything happened so fast.

“If you would like… There is still so much left to explore.” Even in my sated state, the purr of his words spark arousal. 

“Oh I think I would like that very much.” Tension crackles between us. God if I don’t get out of here I’m going to be in over my head. Exhaustion was starting to creep into my bones. 

“I think it’s past my bedtime.” I say with a yawn. That gets a little laugh out of him.

“Well you run along home before I’m inclined to drag you back into this cave and never let you go.” Again, he’s teasing, but the edge in his voice promises something darker. “Or someone comes looking for us and turns all those awful lights on.” His hands grip my shoulders as he leans down and plants a kiss on the top of my head. “We wouldn’t want to ruin the mystery.”

“We sure wouldn’t” Reluctantly, I walk away. I dry off the lingering evidence of what just occurred between us, slip into my clothes, and return to the harsh light of reality.

[shadowshrike]

Interfering with Halsin's Portal

It's pretty well known that there are a few situations you can get in where Halsin is well and truly angry rather than disappointed or worried, but I don't think a lot of folks know one of those situations is if you mess with his portal to the Shadowfell. It's a heartwrenching bit of acting. It's also fundamental to the plot of my in-progress fic Girdled Roots, so I figured I might share it with the other Halsin-lovers out there who have never seen it.

EDIT: Please be aware this is datamined dialog and may not be visible in game. It appears to be intended to trigger if the player attempts to enter the portal, which I don't believe is possible in the final game, or at least I couldn't find a way in the most recent version. Sharing this is simply to enjoy the incredible acting and get some plot bunnies moving, not to make any commentary about the game's canon.

Halsin's Initial Reaction

Halsin: No! Stop! Halsin: It's gone... that was our one chance. You've doomed this place to darkness! Halsin: I warned you - told you this was my burden to carry. Why didn't you listen?

The pure rage and despair is visceral. Prior to this, Halsin mentions this portal has been a century in the making, but he's so calm and measured (even upon success) that it is easy to dismiss just how much agony has plagued him as he hoped to make things right. This chance is everything to him. It has guided his every action for a century. It is a hundred years of work, prayer, and guilt to rectify the horrific fate of both land and people that came to nothing because a stranger he trusted refused to listen to him.

The portal breaking is the only time we hear Halsin speak the truth of its importance to him without a hint of emotional regulation. He is wild with pain. This man who is always thoughtful and slow to anger in the face of horror with the wisdom of age and suffering to guide him has become too overwhelmed to show any kindness.

Player response

The player is given several different ways to respond, and Halsin's reaction varies a surprising amount depending on how understandable their reason is. In most cases, he states that he needs to be alone afterward.

Option 1: I'm sorry - I acted on instinct. Halsin: Words won't repair what's been done to this land. Nothing will... I need to be alone.

You can hear the ache in Halsin's voice, but he's somewhat understanding of this response. He projects more sadness than unchecked rage. The player has admitted to making a mistake, and Halsin isn't the type of person who hold onto vengeance when an apology has been made, but he's not naive or people-pleasing enough to say "it's okay" or offer comfort either. The safest thing for everyone is for him to step away to grieve when there is nothing more to be done.

Option 2: I did all the work here - I couldn't just let you take the glory. Halsin: Glory?! There's no glory here. Now there's nothing here - only shadows and the total absence of hope. Halsin:  There is nothing more to be said... I need to be alone.

Pure fury radiates from Halsin's response if the player focuses on the idea of being some grand hero rather than actually caring for the outcome. What the player did was an unforgiveable act, dooming everything that Halsin holds dear, and you have the audacity to complain about not getting glory from it. Again, he steps away, but this feels more like he's doing it because he believes you're worthless to reason with rather than because he needs a moment.

Option 3: I saved your grove - I figured it'd be best if I handled this as well. Halsin: We were this close to healing these lands. Now your arrogance has torn open the wounds once more. Halsin:  There is nothing more to be said... I need to be alone.

Halsin is still frustrated with this response and unmistakably angry, but it's significantly toned down from the idea of wanting to go through the portal for glory. More like he thinks you're a self-important idiot than a truly terrible person.

Specialized player responses

There are also three special responses you can give if you have a particular class or diety.

Druid: I thought my powers were equal to yours. Halsin: It wasn't just power this needed - it was wisdom, understanding. I suffered along with this place for years trying to understand the curse... and it seems I will continue to do so. Halsin:  There is nothing more to be said... I need to be alone.

Interestingly, he responds much more intensely to a druid than some of the other player choices. It might be in part because he feels like a druid should know better. He lectures the player like an Archdruid would initiates in his Grove, alternating between angry and explanatory, trying to get the player to understand why they were wrong and the sheer magnitude of their error. He ultimately ends in a much more resigned place here rather than personally resentful. Like a father-figure being forced through further life trials because of a child's foolish indiscretion. Frustrating, but inevitable.

Selunite: I trusted in Selûne to guide me through the shadows. Halsin: My friend - I wish you had trusted in me.

This is probably Halsin's most simple response with the least vitriol. He fully understands this answer, even if he's disappointed by it. The fact he calls the player 'friend' suggests a certain tired acceptance of this being a natural behavior for a Selunite trying to do good. We don't see this calm in other responses where Halsin was surprised by the player's choice.

Sharran: The Shadowfell is no place for non-believers - I couldn't allow you to soil it. Halsin: I should never have trusted an ally of the Dark Lady.

If you've ever taken Halsin along with Shadowheart in Act 2, then you know he is absolutely scathing toward her and her faith. He likely isn't as angry if a Sharran breaks the portal because it is utterly predictable. It merely confirms a truth he already knew and talked himself out of. That Sharrans cannot be fully trusted in matters of their goddess, even if one was good enough to rescue his people from the goblins.

[inbarfink]

Okay, so here is my Thought…

It’s already being established that the majority of worlds in the AT Multiverse are born from wishes granted by Prismo. I mean, we know there are other types of alternative universes (Like Flapjack’s universe) - but Prismo’s exposition implies they are the exceptions and not the rule. And we already know the Wish that birthed Farmworld, and we even got a Word of God about Babyworld (a Wish made by BMO) but… 

Was Winterworld also born from someone’s wish?

While first watching the episode, I was wondering if that was a universe born from Ice King’s wish to, like, make Princess Bubblegum madly in love with him or something. But after all of the reveals at the end of the episode and thinking about it a bit more - I feel like this is unlikely. 

I mean for once, there is the question of how the ‘One Wish Per Person' rule works with the existence of a multiverse. Because we know our Simon also tried using his Prismo Wish

(And from their interactions in Episode 4 it seems like Prismo considers Ice King and Simon to be the same person, So a Wish made by Ice King would also count as the one Wish for Simon)

So like… if Ice King made a Wish with Prismo and then got teleported into Winterworld where his wish was granted and then like… a duplicate of him keeps going in Mainworld Ooo and that one’s actually the Simon we follow… would that Simon get his own Wish from Prismo? Or would the Winter King count as the separate Simon who didn’t waste his Wish yet? Finn has already used up his own Wish but his situation is kinda unique cause he, like, came back from being Farmworld Finn. I’m not sure about the rules here but I’m feeling like it shouldn’t work, Simon used up his one Wish failing to bring Betty back so that means he probably didn’t wish up Winterworld.

I don’t feel super-confident about that, but I feel a bit more sure of this next observation; Prismo says that the Wishes he grants, whatever he wants them to or not, always have some sort of a Monkey’s Paw or ironic twist thing going on. They never go quite right for the Wisher. And the Winter King was doing extremely well until our Free Radicals came along.

I mean… maybe the fact that Pre-Curse Simon would’ve been disgusted with the Winter King’s actions counts. Or maybe the implication is that with the Candy Queen’s recent ‘escalation’ he would’ve been killed sooner or later even without the Multiverse Trio’s intervention.

But… compared to how throughly and how quickly Farmworld went badly for Finn specifically- that honestly feels like a stretch. I think that if Winterworld was born from the Wish of any character - it was most likely Marceline.

She has all the motivation to Wish for Simon to have his memories and/or sanity back - and had it for the longest time out of all of his acquaintances. And if it was her Wish - then it sure as hell has gone extremely wrong for her. 

The woman that she loves has been doomed to the same torturous existence Simon has been trapped in alongside her entire kingdom. And Simon might have his sanity and identity again, but this vile man who willingly and knowingly condemned PB to a life of suffering in his stead is so much farther away from the kindly father figure Marceline remembers than Ice King the crazy old Wizard ever was.

And then he also stole Marceline's most beloved personal possessions and like… probably killed her and definitely replaced her with an icy duplicate who is forever the child he wants her to be. If this Wish is some sort of Ironic Monkey's Paw to anyone, I think Marceline makes the most sense. 

(I will give an honorable mention to Betty, because she also very much has the motivation and it is kinda weird we haven’t seen her try and save Simon with a Prismo wish. But I think that while, like, dying in the Mushroom War unmourned and unremembered by the man you did all of this for is a pretty miserable fate.... I still think that Marceline’s narrative fits the idea of cruel irony a lot better)

[spookymystery67]

I Wish I Could Walk in Heels

AN: Alright, finally got this one done! It's a longer chapter than what I've been putting out recently so I hope you all enjoy it. Take it as an apology to make up for my slacking. I had planned to get it done in October, but then I got really hyperfixated on the live action and anime One Piece (still am to be honest). About 109 episodes in on the anime and have A LOT more to go lol. Anyways, enjoy!

Ps, this chapter is a little angsty. Little bit. At least I think it is. Also has gun violence and typical RE stuff. I noticed I gave up on the TW so hope none of you got traumatized. I don't think I write anything too crazy. We should all know what we've signed up for by now, right?

Chapter 23:

“My, you are a popular one, Luis.”

Ada's comment rang very true. Your eyes struggled to see through the harsh rain from the storm that seemed to appear so suddenly. Even so, you could still see the torches and hear the angry chanting of the villagers surrounding the house you and Ada were supposed to meet Luis at. If you had to guess, nearly every infected citizen of Los Iluminados was in attendance of your little get together.

“I don't remember inviting them to the party.” You half-heartedly joked as you ran along Ada's side, falling slightly behind her once you reached a rickety old, wood and rope bridge that groaned and creaked too much for comfort. “You?”

Your love huffed a weak smile, but could not respond when a sudden and harsh shake of the ground shook the fragile bridge and sent you both scrambling for something stable to balance and hold on to, so as to not fall to your doom.

Another shake. 

You both glanced behind you.

Another. 

This time closer. Something big is coming.

Ada tightly grabbed hold of you for what seemed like the millionth time in one night, grappling you both to the closest and safest roof top and off the bridge. This, somehow, gathered the attention of some of the villagers.

You stared in disbelief at the snarling giant that walked into the, already chaotic, scene. 

“What in the actual fuck is that?” Even with all your prior experience with what should be impossible creatures, you are still somehow always shocked and horrified by something new. 

At least you were never bored.

The giant took notice of you and Ada, before charging in your direction. Ada took action and zipped the two of you off of the roof of the now destroyed house, landing you both safely on the ground. The giant yelled angrily at missing, and turned around to face you once more.

“You deal with the villagers while I handle this?” Ada muttered to you, grappling hook in hand and ready to swing on the houses to avoid the creature while simultaneously weakening it.

Noting your inability to deal with such a huge foe, you nodded in agreement. “Be safe.” 

She squeezed your hip in acknowledgment before fully pulling away. “You as well, dear.”

With that, she turned to face the giant head on. “Sorry big guy. Can't let you go that way.” 

And off she went to fight and distract the giant from getting to the house. While she did that, you ran to a safe distance away from the crushing footsteps and the crumbling houses, picking off the infected stragglers that roamed the area as swiftly and quietly as possible. 

You didn't want Ada to have more on her plate than she already has.

Quiet wasn't an issue. If anything managed to hear you over the chanting villagers, roaring giant, and the howling wind and rain, you'd be genuinely surprised. And maybe even a little impressed.

Eventually, the giant fell on top of the two remaining villagers you didn't get to, dead. All was silent at last, with the exception of the pouring rain that was turning into more of a light drizzle, showing some sign of slowing down for at least a little while.

You saw Ada from afar walking towards the giant corpse. A pang of worry went through you when you saw how angry she visibly was. This wasn't normal Ada behavior. She usually managed to keep her emotions in check during missions. 

The closer you walked, you noticed a wiggling creature on the giant's back, a parasite if you had to guess. It moved like it wanted to get away from its dead host. Away from Ada.

Ada stomped her heeled boot onto the creature to lessen its writhing. She took out her pistol and aimed it at the creature. “Now stay down.” 

One. Two. Three gunshots rang out into the stormy night air. The parasite went limp and Ada gave one final kick of annoyance to the felled creature, tucking her gun away before she faced you fully.

“You alright?” You asked her, doing your best to mask your concern so as to not anger her further. She was clearly in a sort of fragile state at the moment. And you knew the infection had part of, if not everything, to do with it. She took a deep breath before nodding a yes.

“I was getting a little annoyed, but now I'm good. Let's go.” She beckoned, leading you away from the giant. “Sweet dreams.” She snarked to the corpse as you left.

More than a little annoyed. That much was clear as day. Every plan and action took during this mission has led to one problem after another. And everything with Wesker and whatever the dangerous virus was coursing through her veins did not help. 

You weren't sure how much time she had left before the virus took full control of her. Ada appeared to become more and more anxious about it too, as time went on and it seemed no progress was really made in retrieving the Amber. 

Still, you kept quiet. You didn't want to further irritate her. And if she didn't want to talk, then you weren't going to force her. 

Your thoughts were put on hold when you saw Luis safely strolling down the path just below the rock formation you and Ada were waiting on. He noticed you both and with a look of relief he sped walked toward you.

“Luis! Glad to see you made it out of that mess safe.” You called out with a grin. He smiled back at your genuine enthusiasm.

“Oh, that? That was nothing, Sénorita.” He gestured behind himself with a careless wave, as if he didn't just get away from a swarm of probably one hundred infected people looking for blood. As if he's dealt with bigger, worse things at some point and this was just a walk in the park. He smirked at your look of disbelief. “Got a smoke?” 

“I do. The kind you like.” Ada remarked, though she made no move to hand over the pack of cigarettes he earlier abandoned with radio numbers written down to get into contact again. 

“Now, where is the Amber?” Ada questioned, done with the pleasantries and wanting to finish the business at hand.

“Unfortunately, it's not on me at the moment.” He sighed as he walked forward and began to attempt a climb up the rocks to get to you both, grunting with the effort. “And you really should be telling me what-” He paused, huffing from the exertion, before continuing.

“What a good job I did. Busted my ass and managed to hide it right before I got caught. Which,” He stumbled during the climb, but saved himself from slipping. “Is why I'm still alive!”

His triumphant tone made the corners of your mouth tug upward in amusement, but it quickly turned into a frown once you glanced to your left and saw how his words affected the already on edge Ada. Hopefully she won't do anything extreme.

He had nearly made the climb, but still reached his hand out for additional assistance from one of you. You went to help, but Ada stopped you with a gentle hand on your arm before crouching down with a sigh to be more leveled with Luis.

“The deal was we get you out of here when you deliver the Amber. No Amber, no 'protection’, Luis.” She reminded him. There was no room for nonsense in her entire demeanor. No more time to waste. 

He gave a forced and slightly annoyed laugh. Likely in irritation from the long day he's had and Ada showing no appreciation for the fact that he was trying. Though in her mind, he wasn't trying hard enough. He was just wasting both of your precious time.

“Such a stickler for details, huh Ada?” Her deadpan expression didn't waver. He glanced at you with a look you couldn't quite decipher, and you shrugged unhelpfully. He let out another sigh before grumbling. “Alright. I'll go get it now, how about that?”

He reached out a hand for help once more, waiting a long moment. You nudged her and Ada finally gave in and helped him up the small, yet hard to climb, cliff.

Once he was up, he patted himself clear of dirt and looked back to the house the villagers bombarded with a tired sigh. “And I do have something else I need to get too.”

Your girlfriend and you shared a look. You gave a huff and shook your head muttering, “This ought to be good.”

—

The castle. Luis had led you both back to the castle. The place where your mission had officially started and where everything had gone to shit pretty much instantaneously. You'd hoped once you left it the first time that you wouldn't have to be back. 

And yet, here you are.

Luis had climbed halfway up the side of the castle he had led you all to enter from before Ada had decided to just grapple you both up the tower, not even bothering to attempt the climb or help the struggling Luis up the rest of the way. He huffed and finished the challenging climb by himself, muttering to himself all the while.

You and Ada remained silent as you waited for him. Ada, not only because she was pissed, but also because she was stuck in her own head, running through the statistics of how many more distractions and side quests she had in her before the virus took over and she lost total control of herself. You just let her be, not having much to say that would soothe her concerns due to you feeling the exact same way. 

You wish you could continue to tell her it would be alright, but the longer this mission takes, the more you see her condition beginning to take its toll. Not just in her behavior. Now it is visible in her physical appearance as well. 

Her eyes had changed. The infection took form in black, vein-like, lines within her eyes. You had noticed prior to finding Luis, when Ada had been manipulated by the bug creature, that similar veins had covered her face while she clutched her head in pain. A clear sign of the virus and its power over her. So to see it remain permanently in her eyes with the monster not in sight… 

It was clear that time was running out.

“You probably didn't plan on coming back here, eh?” Luis questioned as he finally crawled through the hole in the wall you've entered from. 

“I had hoped not.” You admitted. You noticed Ada's calculated silence became more of a simmering, angry, silence. She was not happy with the man. Not one bit.

“Well, plans do change, no?” Luis said, trying to catch his breath from the climb. 

Ada's silence gave him pause. Noting her mood, he turned to you hesitantly before voicing a question you all already knew the answer to. “Are you angry?” 

Her silence spoke volumes, causing you both to grimace. “You're angry.” He concluded. He paused again, debating his next words. You shook your head, knowing by his hesitance that what he has to say won't be good.

He ignored your silent advice, quickly spilling out his next sentence. “There is this one thing I must do before I can recover the Amber.” 

You winced, glancing at Ada who went from a silent simmer to boiling over in about three seconds flat. This won't be good.

Ada was giving Luis a look that could kill, and in return he held his hands up in a placant gesture. 

“Before?” She questioned, voice deceptively calm. And before you could stop her, she had her pistol drawn and pointed right at the man's head. 

“Ada!” Your startled call went ignored by her.  

Heels clicked angrily against the hard floor as she took threatening steps toward Luis, who had raised his hands even higher in an attempt to convince her not to shoot. “This is not a negotiation, Luis. So choose your next words carefully.”

“Oh, woah…” Luis fumbled, taking a shaky breath before taking a slow step to the side. Then another. And another. Ada's gun remained pointed at his head as she turned with him, finger on the trigger and ready to shoot if he gave her an answer she didn't like. 

“Ada-” 

“Stay out of this, Y/n.” Ada told you. Her cold tone gave you pause. While you know it wasn't you she was angry at, you still didn't want to test her when she's like this. 

Especially not with Luis's life on the line.

“It's fine, Sénorita.” Luis said, before giving his full attention to Ada. You listened and backed off. “Listen, there is someone who needs my help… You know me – always the good Samaritan!”

“Let me guess. Leon?” Ada smirked slightly as Luis looked surprised that she knew about Leon. Though her grip on the gun didn't falter.

“Yes! Exactly! Leon and that young woman…” Luis began to slowly back away. Young women? The president's daughter? “They are both infected. They need this medicine. It slows the infection. And I know it works. I used it on myself. So I-”

“And why does this matter to me?” Ada interrupted, quickly closing the distance Luis had managed to make between the two of them. You could think of a few reasons why it matters.

Luis paused, and as if hearing your own thoughts, stated matter of factly, “Because you too are infected.” 

Ada and you shared a look. You were surprised he noticed, given how most of this mission has been spent away from Luis with you and Ada chasing after him.

Luis shook his head, exasperated. “It's what I researched for all these years. And I see the symptoms already showing in your eyes, Ada.”

For the first time since Ada drew the gun, Luis turned his back on her and walked further away with a little more confidence. Even when he was at risk of being shot in the back.

“You must already feel the effects, eh?” He slowly crouched over a trap door, still somewhat mindful of the woman holding the gun on him. “The medicine will stop them for a time. Just, trust me. You have a lot to gain, and nothing to lose!”

Ada seemed to agree with that statement. “Okay. But this is your last chance. We do this first, and then the Amber.” She placed her gun back into the holster with a final stern look, before turning to search around the room for anything useful to be brought with her.

“I'll let Leon know!” Luis exclaimed, happy he convinced her to help. 

You were relieved. And so, so glad Ada agreed. This might be her only chance. Granted, it's not a cure. But it would give you both more time to find the Amber and find an actual cure.

You stood awkwardly in your current place as Luis reached for his radio and made a call. “Hola. Luis here. You guys still around?” He questioned.

A very familiar voice snarked through the speaker of the radio. “Well I wanted to go home, but Ashley just had to see this castle first.”

Ashley. The president's daughter.

Luis grinned. “Perfect, because I have a present I want to give you. Medicine that will help to suppress the progress of your… problem.” 

“Where do we go?” Leon asked.

“Let's see… Come to the courtyard inside the castle. We can meet up there.” Luis decided. “¡Ciao!” 

With that, he hung up the call and turned to speak to the two women patiently and impatiently waiting for him. 

He stood up and set to opening the trap door leading out of the room. “Sorry to keep you both waiting. Shall we?” 

You glanced back at Ada and saw she was ready to go. You nodded as Luis opened the hatch on the floor. “We shall.”

He grinned as he led you both out of the room and down a stairwell. “There's a hidden laboratory downstairs. My stuff should be there.” He explained, jumping down the remaining gap in the stairs to the floor. Likely destroyed due to lack of maintenance in this area of the castle. You jumped down right after him with Ada right behind you.

“Along with the suppressant?” Ada questioned.

“Right,” Luis nodded. “Though first we have to get past this locked gate.” He said, gesturing to the barred area that was preventing you all from going further.

“Leave it to me.” Ada abruptly ran off before you could offer assistance. You shrugged it off, not much you could do given this requires the grappling hook. Which you have yet to get the hang of using and probably never will.

As you and Luis waited, he decided to start up a conversation with you. “So…”

You raised a brow at his hesitance. As if he is trying to figure out if what he is about to say is crossing a boundary. “So?”

He paused, muttering a quick “fuck it”, then proceeded to ask his intended question. 

“Trouble in paradise?” He asked, noting the growing tension between the two of you that you had since excused and ignored.

Not expecting that question, you stuttered and spat out an, “Excuse me?” Wincing slightly at how it came out a little harsh. Not intending to hurt the man in front of you, just taken off guard by the personal question.

Luis scoffed. “Oh please! You two went from the ultimate dream team to practically walking on eggshells around each other.” 

“We still work well together.” You answered, slightly confused by where he was going with this.

“Yes you do, Sénorita.” Luis amended before continuing, “Though I can't help but notice the growing tension between you. What happened?”

You were curious, “Why do you want to know?” 

“Well…” Luis shrugged nonchalantly, leaning against the wall behind him with a grin. “I like to think that, despite our short time knowing each other, we are friends. You did save my life after all. And I think I'm allowed to be a little concerned about my friend.”

Your growing defensive demeanor softened slightly, sensing no lie coming from the man in front of you.

“Does that mean Ada is your friend too?” You wondered. He exaggeratedly pondered for a moment.

“Eh, I'm still not so sure about that one. A little testy, no?” He jested, grin widening when the joke resulted in a laugh from you. “But in all seriousness, is everything alright between you two. What with the, uh, virus.” 

Your smile dropped with a sigh. “I'm just worried about her. She hasn't been fully herself. Not the usual Ada I've come to know and love. I just don't know what to do. I- I don't want to make it worse.” You quietly admitted.

“Has she tried to hurt you?” He asked with concern.

“No. But I can see that she grows increasingly more worried that it will happen at some point. She's been slowly distancing herself from me. Not in the physical sense, but mentally. Like she's preparing for the worst case scenario.” 

Luis hummed, “I see. Well don't worry too much, Sénorita. We will get her the help she needs before the worst can happen. Okay?” 

He grinned with a comforting pat to your shoulder. You weakly returned it. Grateful for his considerate words, but also not entirely convinced it would be so easy.

After all, nothing on this entire mission has been easy yet.

[bendyartistic]

Be Aware of alexbstudios. (Part 2) TW: uh.. slur, sui mention.

Recently I've been requested by some people to make another awareness post about Alex, and what has been going on since I made my last callout. So.. let's take a look. I'm gonna be honest I have been paying little to no attention to him at all since my post up until this point, didn't think I'd have to.

Ever since I made it, Alex has been talking about me a lot more, and it feels much more obsessive in a way. I think it's funny but also pretty weird considering some of the things he's said about me. Eugh.

Anyways let's get to the stuff from after my callout to the present. This is just a rundown of everything, and there is some stuff I skipped since I didn't feel it was worth mentioning. Once my post had been made, a lot of people went over and said stuff to him (Though I didn't encourage that behavior, I only wanted to make my post so people knew about him, I'm not covering those unless it's important in this.) Little afterwards he made this... post. Erh, are you stalking me and other people?? ALSO don't say the r slur man, like what.

I find it really creepy that he has this list, and has notes along with them about why/who they are. Also why'd he spell my partners name like that? 💀 Next a little after that he reblogged someone's art and introduction saying this. (I don't want to really @ people in this, nor get anyone involved unless they asked to be.)

I still don't understand how Alex views me, but saying this in a reblog no less is so strange. Reblogging another post, saying this with it...

You're right Alex, I didn't need you in my life, yet here we are. Unfortunately. Besides that, no, 12 year old's should NOT be on Tumblr at all, even with restrictions, said restriction should be having the app blocked from their device.

I'm just gonna.. move on from that. Alex reblogged an art post, where he proceeded to @ over 50 people, myself included, saying "surely you can see the problem". I can't fit the entire thing sadly. I don't get what the point in these posts are honestly, besides annoy everyone. He's done it before as well. He got into a small bit of beef with a handful of folk not too long ago, which I got @'ed in at some point I think, didn't really pay much attention to it. Basically the original post is someone talking about art supplies and asking what one's other people use, which I personally think was a very neat post. Alex comes around though for some reason going off on nonsense. Hello? Who invited you!? (Again, censoring names cuz I don't want to get ppl involved.)

I'm honestly kind of wondering why he even showed up. He pretty soon after made this dumb post as if it could have some effect on the situation.. uh?

I guess mark your calendars guys for this date, where we have to immediately forget everything and forgive him! /j And there's this response he gave to an anon responding to his ✨patience✨ post.

Dunno, so far it hasn't because he's still talking about it, so clearly he hasn't gotten over it enough to let it blow over.

He's giving me those like.. stupid sigma edit vibes sometimes. Y'know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Also I'm not sure what to say about this really, but it's pretty funny.

Context for this next one: You and the person on your lockscreen fight god..? That's a weird one.

Wdym racist though? 🤨 Genuinely kinda curious about that. Btw wouldn't that make you like.. 9?? On a different note, I saw him previously talk about this "friend" he has going to a mental hospital, but I know nothing about it, nor do I really want to, however reblogging on an art post saying this feels off. Think the emotes are what do it.

Don't joke about mental hospitals at all, I shouldn't have to explain why. I'm going to move on from all the short stuff now because I do wanna start talking instead of making short joking comments.

Alex made this post, and so it begins with him talking about me again, eh?

Alex, you're already doomed. I can't put it any other way but from what I've seen maybe only 1 or 2 people even like you. The rest either hate you or want to avoid you at all cost, and I don't blame them at all considering you act like a fool and make everyone uncomfortable.

For my thoughts on you? I don't like you, never did. I just have to put up with you because this is the internet, and you'll probably never truly leave me alone like I once hoped. It's a shame honestly that you cannot follow a simple request from anyone. Don't think I don't know about your planned "response post" you're making, I'm still waiting for it. I don't know what good it's gonna do you though. Personally I don't care if you make one, I'd just read it to see the stuff you make up in it lol. (Edit: He decided to stop working on it after seeing this post lol.)

Enough of my rambling, I should continue with this so I can stop talking about him sooner. Regrettably I had to actually look up what this was about, I felt.. iffy reading it.

Saying gyatt right afterwards wasn't funny. At all. I'm quite upset now. There was absolutely no reason for that.

I was gonna be reasonable and say something genuine but I don't feel like it anymore, this ruined my mood. All I have to say is as much as I dislike you, don't actually do that. Sadly moving to the next nonsensical thing, he made a poll post asking this. (It's still ongoing btw)

Are people like.. forced into giving a reason? Like if I for example chose Bendy, am I immediately supposed to state my reasons? What if I don't want to, are we being held at gunpoint? What's up with that? I'm too lazy to interact with the post, I don't really feel like it anyways even if I wasn't lazy. Which one would you choose though lol I'm going to be serious now again cause this last thing is really just.. what the fuck. Palestine related 🍉, someone asking for help came to Alex, and this was his response to it...

MY GOD Alex. Did you really have to respond to that in this immature, insensitive fucking manner? Could it have not been in one of your stupid rambling posts. It should've been. I'm sorry to the person and I'm sorry I had to read it. You're pretty sick honestly. You need help.

That's it. I'm done.

In conclusion:

Alex is still the same and is still never going to change probably. He still shouldn't be here and I believe he really should get off now more than ever. If not I fear what else he might do next.

All I can really tell you folks is please, DNI with Alex, just leave him alone and block him. You're again not obligated to, but I am suggesting it if you want to be left alone by him. And hey, maybe you'll make it onto his dumb creepy list too, who knows. Alright, I'm finished, I stayed up way too late for this... I'm tired. Cya.

Reblogs are much appreciated, it helps spread the word, thanks.

[muffinman1st]

Ribbun Week: Day two "Constraint"

Link to Ao3 post: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61210300

“It’s not funny,” Jax said, arms crossed.

“You’re right it’s not,” Ragatha tried to be supportive but struggled to suppress her smile.

“Nah, this is funny as *HONK*” Zooble added with a look that passed for a shit-eating grin.

“I’m with Zooble on this.” Pomni agreed, snickering at Jax.

“Ooh,” Kinger closely observed Jax’s new look.

Gangle was her usually quiet self but was staring intensely at Jax with the rest.

“God*BLIONK* you Caine,” Jax mumbled in anger at what their ringmaster had done to him, “And you Pomni!”

“What did I do?” the jester asked innocently.

“You had to oh so helpfully tell Caine all about real-world rabbits!” Jax shouted in anger.

Caine has recently had a curiosity about what the real world and has been asking others about it, forcing Ragatha to physically stop both Jax and Kinger from giving incredibly inaccurate answers. What’s worse is that Caine has started to make a few changes to make the circus feel a little more real. It’s been going well for the most part, which has been well received by the cast for the most part.

That had come to an end when Caine asked Pomni about rabbits, to which she spared no detail. Jax learned about this firsthand when he woke up to see what Caine had done to him. Visibly not much had changed, he was still a tall purple humanoid rabbit, but one thing was certainly different.

He was fluffy.

His old smooth rubber-ish skin was now replaced with a load of ultra-soft purple fur that covered him ear to toe. He was not taking the change well, especially with how the others were taking advantage of it.

Kinger was the first, his floating hand coming out of view and patting his head between the ears. Jax was quick to swat it away but Kinger had already spelt the words of his doom.

“Wow, Jax you’re so soft!” The chess piece complimented.

That got the others interested and even with Jax's attempts to stop them they were persistent in their pursuit.

Zooble was the first to test it out for herself, coming towards Jax with her hands out and jumping to grab his ears.

Ragatha snuck up from behind as Jax threw the polygonal cast member and gave him a big old hug.

Pomni quickly capitalized on the distraction and threw herself at his chest to hug him with Ragatha.

It took a bit, but he could finally wiggle out of their grasp and pick up a chair to prepare to fend them off.

“Get back!” He shouted.

The three of them just looked at him panicking and giggled before heading off. Jax let out a sigh of relief when he saw the three of them leave, taking Kinger with them.

Until he saw Gangle still staring at him.

“What are you looking at?” He asked, putting the chair down.

“Oh, um, I… sorry.” She was startled at the sudden question before answering meekly.

She had also wanted to feel his fur. She doesn’t remember a lot from the outside world but cute fluffy animals were something she remembers pretty vividly and enjoyed. When the others took the opportunity Gangle wanted to join but she could tell how uncomfortable it made Jax.

She looked at her feet, trying to think of what to do, before awkwardly turning to leave and glancing back a few times.

Jax watched the bundle of anxiety and ribbons slink away and sighed before glancing around.

“Come on.” He opened his arms and looked at her.

She turned back around at his call and saw his gesture.

“Real-Really?” She asked hopefully.

“Hurry up before I change my mind,” Jax said flatly.

Gangle took the hint and jumped at the opportunity, going up and wrapping the purple, fluffy, bunny in a hug. With their height difference, she ended up burring her head in a big tuff of fluff and snuggled for a few moments before Jax was done and easily separated them.

“That’s enough Ribbons,” Jax said as he crossed his arms.

“Thank you.” She said softly with a smile and headed back towards the others.

“Whatever,” He said to himself with a small blush.

[princessjadyn15]

ok I didn’t really want to make another post about Dark Beginnings since I’ve already made/rebloged a lot of posts related to it but I now feel like doing it since I recently saw someone make a dumb comment about it (they were probably saying it to get attention and rage bait or something but whatever I feel like this is an interesting analysis to do)

“its been 50 years, she's gone, get over it”

There’s just a lot wrong with this take

For 50 of those years he was in a stasis sleep. So to him Maria’s death and the trauma he went through when it happened was pretty recent, I don’t really know how much time has past between sonic adventure 2 and sonic x shadow generations but I’m gonna assume it’s been a couple years (one thing I do want to mention that I feel is a important point is that professor Gerald altered Shadow’s memories after Maria’s death, so that itself is already pretty traumatic considering Shadow probably trusted him during his time living on the ark)

he is going to the ark AKA the place where he experienced his trauma. Now this is kinda based on something someone else said but supposedly the last time he went to the Ark was in the Shadow the Hedgehog game, and he still kinda lost some of his memories. Now he is going back to ark Ark after pretty much recovering all his memories, even his painful ones

he is going up against Black Doom. The main reason he is going back to the ark is because he suspects that the black arms and Black Doom have returned, now I haven’t played the Shadow the Hedgehog game but from what I heard Black Doom was a very evil character, he took advantage of Shadow since he lost his memories and used him to get the chaos emeralds. Not only that but technically Black Doom is Shadow’s biological father since he was created using his DNA (Shadow has never actually called Black Doom father, at least as far as I know). And finally

PEOPLE 👏 EXPERIENCE 👏 TRAUMA 👏 DIFFERENTLY 👏 Now I’m going get slightly personal but as someone who has experienced something traumatic before (not as bad as Shadow’s and it’s different from what happened to him) just because you have moved on doesn’t mean the trauma is just gone, honestly as I was reading some analysis on the episode I for a moment actually thought about what I’ve been through and realized I kinda related to shadow in that moment (which is probably one of the reasons I cried), while I have moved on from what happened the trauma is still there and I may have moments where I remember it and feel sad about it, that’s kinda what was happening with Shadow, he was being reminded of the trauma on a big scale. The first episode was him have a “nightmare” of his trauma and now he has to go back to the ark and face Black Doom, and those visions of him thinking about the life he and Maria could of have, of course he is gonna have a small panic attack, I’ve even seen some people connect the scene with PTSD.

a bit of a bonus but I wanted to link this tweet that kinda inspired me to make this analysis in the first place. Some of the comments under the post are quite interesting and make a few good points

now I do want to point out that I’m still new to the Sonic fandom so it’s possible that some of things I’ve mentioned might of been incorrect or that I might of missed a few important parts, if that is the case I do apologize (I also apologize if there are any grammatical errors as well, I literally made this whole thing at like 9:30pm so I should be in bed lol)

[alicerosejensen]

I love your page so much omg. I‘m literally obsessed with your work😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Also I have this imagination in my mind going on about how Leon would try to help his girlfriend from recovering from her mental health issues since she’s always helping him. I was recently thinking about how he would react finding her not moving on the bathroom floor and trying to bring her back! I rewatched American horror stories and the scene with tate and violet in the first season episode 6 (ig?) is always in my head. I‘m still recovering from my past and my unhealthy habits and tbh recovery never felt better.

If this is too much for you or triggering please ignore this.🫶🏼❤️

I had a terrible period in my life when I was a few steps away from doing something like this in my life and unfortunately this shit often comes out. I'm not sure that such texts help me work through my psychological traumas, which were, in fact, inflicted on me and continue to be inflicted by close people who do not consider me a person, but at least such works help me to vent my pain, which I cannot permanently bury in myself.

I have been postponing this request for a long time because I was probably waiting for the right moment to write this text.

There are mentions of suicide, psychological trauma, severe self-doubt and anxiety, so if this is not acceptable to you, then please just block it.

Perhaps there is a similarity with my previous texts, but I am writing this with strong emotions now that I am trying to cope with it again.

the text is chaotic, I repeat, written while I was under the influence of strong heavy emotions. Maybe I'll delete it later, when my brain gets back to normal a little bit.

If a songbird doesn't sing well, they wring its neck.

Maybe it was the costs of Leon's profession and the result of his constant missions, after which something human is gradually dying in him despite the constant struggle to save everyone. Raccoon City was supposed to teach, if not to survive, then make him begin to understand that some are doomed to die.

Leon Kennedy was taught not to offend, but to protect the weak, especially weak women. But it is difficult to calm the flow of disordered thoughts and put aside the fear that has seized him in order to clamp bloody wrists and apply something to them to stop the blood. Leon knew many strong women: Ada was perhaps the first among them, he did not know either her past or her real name, only the present that pushed their foreheads against each other; Claire, a fighting friend of misfortune that he met in that ill-fated city; Ashley, who turned from a baby eagle into a proud eagle; Angela Miller and others…

Your strength dissolves in the water, coloring it scarlet while your heart stubbornly still beats, let the rhythm noticeably shorten.

In truth, over the past few months it became clear that this was the only way out. When even your loved ones considered you an expired product and did not hesitate to remember this and remind you every time. In the end, their words turned into an obsessive worm that settled in your head, slowly day after day, month after month, devouring you and the circumstances seemed to be not in your favor. Instead of support, you somehow faced reproach, as if the universe was screaming that you were an wrong person, nature's mistake who had no right to live.

Escape attempts were doomed to failure. At first you tried to suppress it in yourself, helping Leon, because, in your opinion, he was the only one who had the right to complain about life, although he did not do this in front of you, because everyone said that you had no problems: you have everything limbs, there are no fatal diseases, all loved ones are healthy and there is a roof over your head, as if this is enough to not fall for nonsense and not walk around forever with a sad face.

This was the last time you shared your experiences. You didn’t even bother telling Leon, but everything inside was torn from constant pain. The feeling was as if you were being beaten by two extremes that led you to the edge of an abyss where you ultimately voluntarily jumped.

no, you really loved him, it was just other people’s words and your own speculation that convinced you, despite your strong relationship with him, that Leon would find someone better, someone more confident in himself, someone who would not be you because you had already missed the chance for a good life because it moved too slowly. Ultimately, a couple of sips of alcohol with sleeping pills and a sharp blade in his hands simply promised to correct the mistake in the form of you with your own hands.

You didn't have the courage to do it any other way.

But you really didn’t think that if you could try to open up to your loved one, you would meet support and not condemnation. Perhaps in a mad world he would be the only one who would heal your wounds as you healed him in your time. Leon clenched his teeth, feeling tears flowing down cheeks, seeing these crimson stains, when he pulled your body out of the bath, holding you close to him, repeating “I’m holding you. It's allright"

He so carefully laid you on his lap, managing to pull out a first aid kit and then bandages to tightly, albeit carelessly, wrap them around your wrist in order to somehow stop the bleeding. At least you were still breathing, thereby giving him hope that everything could still be fixed. the darkness and emptiness came to life, calling in a whisper to dissolve into eternal silence where there is no pain or condemnation. Your body will be in a grave under a gray stone, while the remains of your soul will float like a small grain of sand in infinity.

For Leon, everything happens in a fog; he tried more than once to save people, but he had no right to lose in this battle, even if you yourself surrendered to death. Shaking his head, brushing away the tears, he wrapped your body in a large terry towel, kissed your temple and picked you up, trying to somehow warm you, pressing you closer to him. the ability to provide first aid in the field and pull suicides out of the other world is not the same thing. Leon would have thanked God if he had believed in him, convinced that blood loss was the least of the evils that you had caused yourself, until he saw the remains of some substance at the bottom of the glass that stood on the table along with an almost full bottle of alcohol.

You really didn't give him a chance.

The ambulance took several minutes, which seemed like an eternity. In fact, Leon wasn't sure if it was worth trying to make you vomit when you'd already lost so much blood that it was already seeping through the bandages. Surely you would need a transfusion and Leon is ready to give you all his blood if only you would wake up. Holding his breath, he carefully looked at your chest, watching whether you were breathing and fortunately, your heart was still beating, slowly, but it was still fighting for life.

He stroked you on the head, kissed you, promised that he would take you somewhere else, quiet, where no one would dare to offend you, even if it was your family. You could have just asked him for help, just cuddled up to him and he would have protected you from other people’s attacks, but you preferred to remain silent. Kennedy was tired of waiting for the medical staff to let him in, although relatives should be allowed to see the patient first, but the position of a government agent sometimes had its advantages, and they concerned not only the high salary. When he was let in to you, it seemed to him that you had become half your size while you were lying on the bed, curled up under the blanket. It didn’t work out to pull off a beautiful suicide, which meant that soon angry relatives would come here with new sweat of bile especially for you. They won’t care about your feelings, but Leon sat down next to you, trying not to intrude too much into the space in which you imprisoned yourself, as if this blanket cocoon could be a separate world where you could hide. He spoke to you carefully, hating himself for not being able to understand in time what was wrong with your behavior; perhaps if he had been more attentive to you, the incident could have been avoided. You would see a psychotherapist, take a course of medication, and your environment would definitely be taken care of.

You cry, not letting him come to you, hating how you weren't just left to die and how much you hate this world. Hysteria after hysteria, nervous breakdown after nervous breakdown, in the hospital you repeatedly tried to commit suicide, but the attentive staff managed to prevent this before you inflicted fatal injuries on yourself, and if after some time Leon still managed to carefully break through your armor, then your loved ones This did not concern relatives in principle. You only allowed one person to visit you while you were undergoing psychological treatment and you behaved calmer and calmer, listening to the velvety words that soon all this would be behind you.

“We’ll go home soon,” Leon smiled, gently holding your hand and kissing your forehead, just glad that you’re alive, that you’re breathing and that your psycho-emotional state is slowly but improving. “You know, I have a surprise for you, I think you’ll like it when we get home.”

Soon what happened will become another nightmare in his life, a blessing with a good ending, but for the sake of this happy ending, Kennedy is ready to descend into hell at least every day.

You nod at him and smile a little, fearing that the gift is some kind of party on the occasion of your discharge. In fact, the last thing you want is to see someone’s faces, especially those who diligently hammered into your head how insignificant you are. Why do you even hope that the doctor will postpone your discharge, but the plans for your further treatment were completely different.

On the other hand, after taking antidepressants and psychological help in a special medical institution, how many men are ready to stay with their girlfriends who have been there for several months? For Leon, it seems this was not a significant problem, or he simply carefully did not show it. However, there were no parties, no calls, you simply returned now to his home where there were new interior items. it became somehow more comfortable... but something else surprised you.

Puppy. A small puppy of a couple of months old ran towards you and Leon to meet both of them, but stopped and began sniffing your shoes, while something thawed in your heart.

“Animals seem to help us well, They feel when we feel bad, it seems to me a good idea to get us a little companion,” Leon said quietly, stroking your back while you were busy with the puppy, rejoicing at the little living soul who will love you with the same pure and devoted love.

Ultimately it should have a happy ending too. Leon is ready to go to great lengths so that his beloved songbird starts smiling and singing happy songs again, even if it is necessary to remove other birds from her family who sleep and see how to pluck all her wings again.

You and he also have a chance for a happy ending.

[makncheese12]

Top Shelf pt. 2

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Masterlist

Summary: being the kid of a well-known book store owner was easy, so was running into famous people. But being book smart doesn’t make everyone people smart.

Warning: my writing, I don’t know how to fully play chess so it’s a bit weird haha, very awkward, a little rushed if you come back tomorrow sometime after twelve it should be better

Word count - 3.1k

Credits: @novmoth (my friend from school who feeds into my delusions and gives me more ideas for this story🫶🏻)

“So,” Lyle starts as you move a piece across the chess board and look up to him then back down at the half played board. “You mean to tell me you ran into Jenna Ortega—“ he says through gritted teeth and puts his hands together and leans his forehead against them.

“—and you didn’t know who she was? She’s known world-wide after her recent show on Netflix!”

Why was he so surprised? He knew your parents situation and how it was critical that your mothers family didn’t find her.

Why would you want to be on social media so much anyway? All the drama involving celebrities and people switching up on them after finding some stuff they don’t like.

Hell people could even find information to black mail or threaten you with, that would just be your luck.

It was better to not get caught up in all of that. All you had was Instagram that had nothing to do with the last name and TikTok with no post that you barely used.

“You know I don’t watch a lot of TV.” You mumble watching him move the white piece taking your black on the board between the two of you. “Dude,” Mj starts looking up from pride and prejudice.

“We all used to watch her on stuck in the middle in sixth grade at Rosa’s place before Marco moved.” She says, clearly uninterested in the conversation yet wanting to be right.

You knit your eye brows together making Lyle stare at you like you were some kind of idiot. “She played Harley, middle child AKA stuck in the middle.” You continue to stare dumb founder.

The large man only groans and Mj scoffs at your lack of knowledge. Dru is then seen, holding a pile of games he wanted to try out.

“The chick with the hot sister who used her for an invention with her boyfriend.” He hums, placing the games next to the computer nearby.

Realization hits you like a brick and you nod, now knowing who they were talking about and the seeing the resemblance.

She both sounded and looked older now, you noted before moving a chess piece.

“If that’s what it takes for you to remember things then we’re all doomed.” Mj states as she pulls her legs up to her chest.

“Okay, when did she come exactly?” Lyle stares at the board, eyes clearly focused but keeping his attention on the conversation.

You think back to the interaction as he makes his move. “A few hours ago, right after lunch when people usually come in.”

“Wonder how she got here without getting noticed.” Mj wonders out loud. This girl must have been a big deal if she can’t get away without being noticed.

“Check,” Lyle hums and your eyes snap back to the board to see him move his piece. You narrow your eyes at the board for a moment and huff out.

You two had decided to create your own set of rules after playing together for so long it had become a bit boring. With his idea, you both made the game a little more interesting and complicated.

“She probably has little disguises, you know to specifically get away from the paps.” Dru mumbles, face inches away from the screen.

You grimace at the sight, now seeing why he needed glasses yet he was still doing it with them on.

“He has a point.” Lyle replies watching you make your move before his smile grows. “Checkmate.” He flaunts making you groan as he snatches your king.

“Your slacking, Y/N, do better.” He shakes his head before putting all the pieces back in place.

His teasing only making you groan again, louder this time making him chuckle.

“You’re making me feel like a sin getting scolding by his father after a bad game.” You mumble before sitting up again and making the first move.

“Good,” he laughs watching you make the same move as before. “You need it.” He says in response.

“Fuck the game, what are you going to do about Jenna Ortega?” Mj speaks up closing her book and slamming it on the table.

Usually, you’d scold her for doing so but it was after hours and no one was inside to bother.

Lyle huffs. “Never say that again, this game is very important.” Mj rolls her eyes in response, everything was important to him.

“What would you have me do? Send her a quick text and ask her to come back?” You laugh at the thought.

It would have to be a miracle to get any celebrities number, it would have to be a god send to get her phone number.

“You’re such a pessimist.” Lyle snorts and you send him a glare. “I would be if a cute celebrity showed up and I never saw her again.” Dru calls out making you huff.

“I will see her again, actually. I think, at least.” Mj perks up at this. “Oh? How so?” She asks, leaning forward on the table.

You send her a glare and lean away. Why was she suddenly acting like a fourth grade friend who finds out about your crush.

“She borrowed the book, so she kind of has to come back.” You grumble scooting your seat farther away from her.

You didn’t really think you’d actually be excited for someone to return for a book. Sure, there were cute people that came in and out of the library all the time. But none had really had any real affect on you like she did.

Though the interaction was short and quick, it was probably one of the most interesting ones you had with a customer.

You’d do anything to see those freckles in person again.

The clicking sound of a phone brings you out of your thoughts as you glance up to Lyle whose holding up his phone.

“Sorry,” he mumbles as he begins angry typing. “You just looked so aesthetic with the chess board, I gotta post it to Insta.”

You roll your eyes before they move to Mj who paces back and fourth.

“Okay, so that would probably be your only chance at actually talking to her.” She says as if she were talking to herself.

“She’s so delusional

“That is if you don’t fuck it up,” she mutters that last part with a as she continues pacing making you point to your face that is clearly unamused.

“But how will you do that? You’re a horrible flirt, that much is true and your humor is as dead as Lyle’s hair.”

“Hey!” He quickly goes to cover his purple hair with his large arms. “There’s no hiding that atrocities.” Mj rolls her eyes, once again for the hundredth time tonight.

“I say you just go for it.” Dru says tapping his computer key quickly and you notice the game to be ‘cookie clicker’, an online game that is not any of the games in his pile.

“Be yourself and you’ll be fine, if she doesn’t like that oh well.” He says inching closer to the screen, glasses almost touching it.

“Wow DD,” Lyle says, looking up from his screen that was suddenly getting lots of notifications. “I never thought you could be so poetic.” He teases and Dru sends him a side eye glare.

“That wasn’t even poetic, just common sense.” He replies, eyes traveling back to his screen.

Lyle sticks his tongue out at the older man who doesn’t even notice.

“I want sushi,” You say standing up watching the abandoned chess pieces fall from their place. “Let’s go get some.”

“Right behind you,” Mj says eagerly as she grabs her book and jacket, Lyle not too far behind her.

“Wait, give me a second!” Dru calls but you just laugh and continue your way to the door.

“Wait! I want sushi too! Stop!” He calls out louder as Lyle holds the door open. “Just abandon mission dude! Sushi is way better.” Lyle says as you begin walking down the street, Dru coming out not long after making sure to lock the door.

————

You carefully pull books out of the return section as the beat of your music rings through your ears making you bop your head lightly.

You glance over to Lyle who sat in the desk chair, playing Call Of Duty mobile on his phone. You wouldn’t usually be allowed to do that but it was a particularly slow day.

It had been two weeks since Jenna had last came to the library and to say you were disappointed was an understatement.

You knew it could be months before she would have to return the book and you would have to charge her for it if she really didn’t and that is what you didn’t want to do.

Mj made sure you didn’t forget either, sending you cheesy pick-up lines and ‘how to flirt’ website which only aggravated you and hurt your ego.

You did look at a few though and had to admit some were actually good while others made you skin crawl.

You don’t notice the sound of the bell ringing or the way Lyle quirks up slightly glancing toward you

Jenna looks up to him as her body guards walk to a side table in front of the window allowing her a little freedom to walk after seeing there weren’t many people.

He makes his lips into kissy form and a small ‘ooh’ leaves before turning to you, back turned as you sort through the books.

He looks back to Jenna who is now standing at the front desk contemplating to help her or not.

He decides against it but doesn’t want to leave the celebrity waiting. He stands up and quickly grabs the closest thing to the back room door before putting his finger to his lips.

“Shh..” He says, eying her as a playful threat before chucking the item at you and rushing through the door.

The thing hits your head and you whip around, barely missing Lyle as your eyes land on Jenna who held her books, glancing between the storage room and you.

“Did you..” you say, pulling your headphones out and picking up a mouse key that had been ripped off from the cord. “Did you just throw a mouse key at me?” You ask with playful tone as you walk toward her.

Jenna thinks back to Lyle’s silence threat before speaking. “You weren’t paying attention, it’s bad customer service.” She just shrugs.

“Oh, my bad.” You say putting your hands up in defense and her smile grows. “I’m sorry I was doing my job,.” You say shaking your head before playing glaring at her.

Be confident, all girls like that!

Mj’s words ring through your head making you cringe slightly.

Not too confident, that’ll get you punched.

Dru had stated after and your lips pull up at the memory of Dru getting punched at the skating rink during you tenth grade year.

You think of all the pick-up lines that actually seemed subtle and weren’t cringe worthy but decided against it as she pushes the books toward you.

“So, what’d you think?” You ask taking them and scanning the under the red light and pressing the ‘return’ button on the computer screen.

“I actually enjoyed between shades of gray surprisingly even though it was pretty dark,” she says shyly and you nod. “But the other wasn’t really good.”

“Just shows I have better taste than you.” You tease lightly, attempting to flirt but realizing it wasn’t actually flirting.

You were starting to realize how bad of a glitter you really were and Mj was right.

You feel your phone buzz go off multiple times at a time as Lyle comes out of the storage closet with a box full of old tapes you had just put back in there a little while ago.

He takes his seat and watches through the corner of his eye, looking through the black blocks clearly acting like he was doing something as he ease-dropped.

You roll your eyes before leaning against the counter, rolling your thumbs around each other, becoming nervous by the sudden pressure of his gaze.

“Does he always stare at you like that?” She suddenly asks, amusement clear in her voice making you snort.

“Unfortunately yes,” you say and his head yanks toward you, fake offense taking over his features. “He’s always been weird but I guess that’s what makes us friends.”

He forms a heart with his hands before blowing you a kiss making you grimace at the large man.

“So,” you say looking back up to her, noticing her biting the inside of her lip slightly before looking back to you. “Looking for anything else or should I just get back to work?” You ask, smirking slightly as you look up toward her.

You hear a quiet snort come from Lyle and send him a mental glare in the process. Oh how you wished it was Dru here instead, hell even Mj would do.

“Actually, yes.” She says, perking up slightly at your mention. “I was hoping to get another suggestion from you, since you know.” She finishes making you raise an eye brow and hum to yourself.

You think through the hundreds of books you’ve read before coming to your conclusion and standing up straight.

“I have one,” you say and she nods. “I figured.” She replies as you pass through the low door and around the counter.

“It’s sort of the same as Between Shades of Gray, same time frame.” You say walking toward the historical section. “I will need to help get it though,” you snort to yourself, feeling glare in the back of your head.

“I’m actually six foot two if you remember correctly, it’s just the angle your looking at that makes me look shorter.” She argues and your smile grows.

“I’m sorry, I completely forgot I hope I haven’t offended you too deeply.” You tell her, bowing slightly as she passes you walking into the aisle with her head high.

“But in all seriousness,” you say scanning over the the spines of the books. “What made you think the name ‘Top Shelf’ wouldn’t be quite literally the top shelf.” You reach out and grab the book ‘The Book Thief’ before turning to her.

“I thought it was like a metaphor or something.” she mumbles taking the book from your hands, reading the cover.

“Oh definitely, especially with the owners being tall themselves.” You say, laughing at her glare at you through her eye lashes.

She rolls her eyes before moving past you and toward the front desk.

You follow after her quickly and go behind the desk again before pushing past Lyle who was messing with the computer.

“Excuse you,” he stares at you wide eyed as you click back to the search bar. “Your fault you were in my way.” You mumble only giving him a glance.

“Name?” You asks glancing toward and you can almost feel the glare Lyle gives you.

“You’re joking?” She asks, clearly unamused. “It’s policy.” You send her another playful smile watching huff out.

“Jenna Ortega.” She says before Lyle pinches your side making you jump slightly. “Stop that,” you whisper before kicking your leg back at him, you miss completely.

“Burrowing or buying?” You ask and she again, rolls her eyes. “Burrowing.”

You feel Lyle pinch your other side and you send him a glare, clearly wanting him out of your bubble and away from your conversation. “You’re so annoying.” You say before watching him stick his tongue and move back to his seat.

You look back toward Jenna who was, once again, chewing her lip.

You take her credit card and swipe it quickly, using your hand to keep him a safe distance away from you.

“Anything else?” You ask, glancing up to the girl who is already staring at you.

“Actually,” she mumbles quietly as Lyle pinches your arm pit making you elbow his chest and he lets out a hard huff.

“You seem pretty cool and I was wondering..” she hesitates for a moment, trying her best to maintain eye contact which makes Lyle stop, chest against your back.

She continues you hesitate as you bag the book and slide it toward, you fidgeted slightly as anxiety creeps up to your core.

“If I could have your number? Or maybe I could give you mine?..” there’s a sort of shyness in her voice and she begins to bite the inside of her lip again.

You stare at her dumb founded a second, not fully expecting that.

But then again it was very obvious it was coming from the first part of her sentence, that was clear especially to Lyle who glances between you two.

The two wait for your response that seems to never come which makes Lyle’s eye twitch and Jenna to shift on her feet.

“You can say no, of course I just thought I’d ask.” She says, voice even quieter which makes Lyle decided to take matters into his own hands.

He snatches the phone from your pocket and sends you a small knowing smirk before turning to the girl. “Excuse her, she’s not used to these kind of interactions.” He says unlocking you phone and opening your contacts and going to the number screen.

“She is, after all, a librarians daughter. She just has no game what’s so ever.” He shakes his head and clicks his mouth. You quickly snap out of your dazed state to glare toward him.

“Yeah, sorry but I’d actually love that.” You say before watching her smile grow and all the nervousness leave her body as she begins to type.

“Cool,” she says before handing you your phone back. “Very cool.” Lyle states as he nods and gives you a knowing look.

“Text me,” she says before picking up her bag and walking toward the door. “I mean it!” You watch her stern look as her body guards stand and open the door for her with a goofy smile on your face.

“I will!” You call out as the door shuts behind her.

“Holy shit,” Lyle mutters watching her walk down the street. “Holy shit.” You repeat, still a little shocked by the whole situation.

“Jenna Ortega thinks my best friend is cool and gave her her number.” He says pulling out his phone and typing quickly before you feel a buzz in come from the phone in your hand.

You open the text messages in the group chat and see a series of text between Lyle, Mj and Dru. They had to have been spamming the entire time.

You read over the last text and snort.

My best friend is cooler than you, you also owe me twenty bucks <3

Read next part here!

A/N: Lyle being R’s wingman is in fact canon🫶🏻

Also, while you’re here why don’t you request something for different characters. I have some drafts for other things I’m working on but I would let to create some you guys ideas!

[coldgoldlazarus]

Been really immersing myself in the Shadow lore (with a brief detour through finally watching the Snapcube Fandubs lol) and now watching the Sonic X Shadow Dark Beginnings miniseries. (can't wait for Part III!) And something really interesting that it sorta winds up emphasizing through all these flashbacks in the first episode, is this pervading sense of failure.

Even before all his subsequent trauma, Shadow felt like a failure for not being the miracle cure he was meant to be, that Maria was still sickly and dying.

And then there's the (utterly incredible) fight with that yellow combat robot thing. (This is a bit of Sonic lore I still don't know, unless this is a new inclusion, but in any case damn was that thing badass) Shadow was able to successfully save Gerald, at least, but it's not dwelled upon as the scene shifts away immediately after he won that fight. What does get a lot more attention was the level of destruction the robot wrought upon the Ark, with who knows how many other implied casualties as consequence of that, until he was finally able to catch up to it, and the fear that Maria could so easily wind up as one of them. That entire sequence was incredible, but also deeply stressful.

Then of course the arrival of the GUN fleet, and immediately the prior victory is undone with Gerald's imprisonment and execution. (And I really love how that sequence leaned into the nightmare fuel fever dream vibes) And after that... well, we all know what happened to Maria.

And it's just interesting how like, it was literally Shadow's purpose to save lives, and yet for all his incredible strength and power, he still feels like he failed to where it counted, in the past. Which of course Sonic x Shadow Generations is delving back into.

In the present/more recent past, his arc was about confronting the conflict of purposes laid out for him -to save lives, to take revenge, to be an instrument of destruction, to be a weapon against Black Doom- and ultimately attaining a sort of self-actualization by choosing to find his own purpose outside of others' directives for him, and kicking Black Doom to the curb while he's at it.

But since then, at least as I understand it, he's been left in a sort of limbo, and just more-or-less vibing in the background while Sonic as a franchise has been trying to figure itself out. Present, sometimes even having major roles, but not really a focus, until they're finally getting back to him now.

SxSG is obviously partially a recap/nostalgia trip from a meta standpoint, but also feels in a way like a reopening of Shadow's story. Saying that despite his 'vibing' status in the past several games, it's not that easy to reject and ignore his past, it is still a core part of him.

But what I'm left kinda thinking about is his future. Because while the movie and SxSG are part of a "Year of Shadow", implying this is probably going to be a one-off, I hope it won't be. I hope it's genuinely reopening his story going forward, because it isn't really over yet. In StH, he rejected being a tool for others' agendas alongside his past as a whole, but that doesn't really answer the question of what his own goals are now, or any of the stuff around that.

Which kinda brings me back around to Dark Beginnings and the feeling of failure. This is a nightmare that seems to be at least partially externally-imposed by the Time Eater or Black Doom or some combination thereof, but I think it's still telling of Shadow's own values and priorities through what it focuses on. Not just the obvious trauma, but that connecting theme of failure - failure to save lives. Not because of Gerald's original goals for him, but because of Shadow's own intentions.

The second episode spells it out more clearly through Maria, too. He's not great at expressing himself, he may not always even be aware of his own feelings, but he does care deep down. He cares so goddamn much.

He wants to help save people.

But first he needs to figure that out.

And then, he needs to figure out how to do that going forward.