#and YES FFS IT'S HAPPY stop doubting me

[thickenmyblood]

why did laurent start dating / having sex with maxime, even before nicaise found out? maybe this is something we find out in ch. 20, but throughout hiuh i’ve really struggled to understand or empathize with laurent in this area. you’ve mentioned him being self-destructive, or how it was good for his ego to bring a date in front of damen. but why did he feel the need to throw it in damen’s face when damen was the one who got dumped? why would he let maxime call him baby and walk all over his boundaries when this guy is a total stranger? i know some people have speculated that maxime is a uncle-stand in, but to me that doesn’t parallel bc there the abuse happened because laurent did (unfortunately) love and trust his uncle at the beginning, which enabled his uncle to abuse him. i’m honestly really trying to see where this sexual self-harm aspect of laurent comes from when it’s with a complete stranger who doesn’t seem to like laurent as a person or give him any real affection. he said sex was the foundation of their relationship, which seems odd for an ascetic person like laurent who even in hiuh canon doesn’t seem to have engaged in that kind of relationship before dating damen, when he was in a way worse physical and emotional state, unless i’m wrong.

i really, really hope this doesn’t come off as criticizing or accusatory in any way — it is your story and you can characterize laurent any way you want! to me it’s felt like this is the one area so far where laurent has been extremely defensive and refuses to take responsibility, even though it really hurt damen — not just being jealous, but being compared to maxime over and over again by laurent’s friends and implicitly by laurent himself — not to mention how it hurt nicaise. yes, damen had flings, but he didn’t try to replace laurent after two months or ever shove it in laurent’s face. and yet it feels like damen over-apologizes for ever asking about maxime or suggesting laurent’s behavior was harmful. i don’t see how damen could get over this massive insecurity when laurent appears to ridicule or dismiss him for bringing it up, like with the condom conversation or the pet name issue.

feel free to ignore this message, but always appreciate hearing why you chose a particular characterization!

hello! i get this question every once in a while so i thought i'd answer it today since we're about to be done with the story. i didn't take it as an attack or anything and it's a very cool question!

but why did he feel the need to throw it in damen’s face when damen was the one who got dumped?

in a way, reading your ask, i think you answered some of these things yourself. why did he bring maxime to a bunch of events knowing damen would be there? because he wanted the upper hand, he wanted to be seen as having moved on (remember that he thinks damen has moved on, too), because it's an ego thing. but why do it if he was the one who dumped damen? same answers, but i'd add that it's implied in the story that laurent was surprised and hurt by how easily damen went along with the break up. laurent brings it up, says he can't do it anymore, and damen just goes to work and never comes back. once again, in a toxic and insecure way, there was a part of laurent that wanted damen to fight for it, to say "wait, let's turn things around" or something. obviously, that didn't happen, and laurent interpreted that as confirmation of a lot of negative thoughts he was already dealing with (damen wants out of this but he doesn't know how to do it, damen's too "nice" to say that he wants out, damen is looking for excuses to start arguments bc he's trying to get me to end this, etc.)

this is not me justifying laurent in any way. was it childish and immature to bring maxime to events bc he knew damen would be there and he wanted, along with all the reasons listed above, to make damen jealous? yes, probably. is it petty? yes. is it ooc? i don't know. i think laurent does exhibit some pettiness in the books.

why would he let maxime call him baby and walk all over his boundaries when this guy is a total stranger? i know some people have speculated that maxime is a uncle-stand in, but to me that doesn’t parallel bc there the abuse happened because laurent did (unfortunately) love and trust his uncle at the beginning, which enabled his uncle to abuse him. i’m honestly really trying to see where this sexual self-harm aspect of laurent comes from when it’s with a complete stranger who doesn’t seem to like laurent as a person or give him any real affection.

this part of the question is a bit more complicated for me to explain. i 100% agree with people's complaints that in this aspect hiuh laurent is ooc (compared to canon laurent). in the books, he doesn't sleep with anyone but damen, so everything regarding laurent/other men is always going to be ooc in some way (unless it's non con, i suppose).

maxime has to be a stranger. maxime has to be someone laurent doesn't care about, doesn't value, doesn't respect. it would never work between them if maxime was not a stranger, which is ultimately what happens in the fic (let's, for a second, ignore the fact that they also don't work out bc lamen are in love lol). when maxime wants more, laurent cuts him out.

why does he have to be a stranger? because hiuh laurent's biggest issue in this story is that he can't be vulnerable enough to be loved and accept that love. he loved damen, but he couldn't get to a level of vulnerability that allowed him to explain himself, to show himself to damen as he really is, and without that a relationship can't last. when you feel like you have to hide parts of yourself from the person you love, eventually that turns into resentment and anger and hurt.

when he starts sleeping with maxime, he's not looking for another boyfriend. he's not looking for love. he's not sleeping with maxime because he's too horny to function either. he lets maxime fuck him because there is something to prove. and here I have to apologize because to me this detail was so clear during my writing process that I'm only now realizing I did not do a good enough job of integrating it EXPLICITLY into the story. what is there to prove? laurent has only ever slept with two people in his life and only damen was a pleasurable, consensual situation. so, here's the setting: laurent and damen break up, they go no contact, months pass, laurent is STRUGGLING (nicaise mentions this time and time and time again in the fic), laurent has no way of knowing that damen is also miserable, laurent has no way of knowing that damen hasn't moved on (damen is, actually, at this point in time, fucking other people). laurent isn't looking for love or dates or romance, but then maxime shows up and he gives laurent an opportunity to prove to himself several things:

he has effectively moved on from damen (in his mind, having sex with other people = the ultimate 'i'm done with damen" move)

he is in control. he has only had consensual sex with one person in his life, which gives damen symbolic power over him in a weird, fucked up way. or... maybe the word isn't power, but status. damen has a status in laurent's mind and memories because he's the first person laurent CHOSE to have sex with, the first person he loved and showed him it could be good, etc. as long as damen maintains that status, laurent will never stop thinking about him, will never have anything to compare damen to and say "see, it wasn't that big of a deal". which brings me to...

he wants to minimize damen. he wants dismiss what damen meant to him, what their entire relationship meant, so it can be easier to move on. how do you move on if you're thinking "oh I broke up with the love of my life lol"? laurent needs to tell himself what he had with damen wasn't unique, wasn't that special. he can have it again (the SEXUAL part).

needless to say, this fails. he has sex with maxime and finds that it's nothing like it was with damen because it's WORSE, because having sex with damen was having sex with someone who knew him and loved him and respected him. laurent has sex with maxime but he's still thinking about damen, he's still in love with damen, the same way damen is having sex with kyra or trying to date iris while thinking and missing laurent.

once this realization sort of sinks in (yes, he can have sex with other people, yet that doesn't erase damen's status in his brain bc damen was special for a bunch of reasons I'm not gonna type in here - THEY'RE IN LOVE, YOUR HONOR) that's when the self-harm comes into the picture. (this is discussed a bit in ch20 so SPOILERS but)

what kind of sex are maxime and laurent having? it's not the slow, gentle, love making stuff damen knows laurent was into. it's rough, it's degrading, it's not as pleasurable, it's a chore, it leaves marks. does laurent want those marks? we don't know. does maxime ask him if he does? we don't know. you can make it as non con as you want because the text doesn't go into detail.

the petnames. "why does laurent like it when maxime says it but not damen?" I don't think he does. he never gives damen a straight answer on this, but he does say that it makes him feel like a bimbo. it makes him feel slightly degraded. he says it wasn't terrible, but he never says he wanted it or that it was good. it's implied that damen tried it once or twice at the very beginning of their relationship, and I think we can all tell why laurent didn't like it back then with him either (bimbo feelings, laurent using him for money, the power imbalance, etc.)

uncle parallels. okay, this one's a bit tricky. yes, you're right to think that the abuse laurent's uncle subjected him to is nothing like his relationship with maxime for a plethora of reasons, but I think the narrative supports some people's opinions that maxime does resemble uncle in some ways (older, brunette, has a beard). i did not write maxime as a literal uncle stand in, so of course it's not going to be a perfect comparison. i wouldn't even call maxime and laurent's relationship abusive.

he said sex was the foundation of their relationship, which seems odd for an ascetic person like laurent who even in hiuh canon doesn’t seem to have engaged in that kind of relationship before dating damen, when he was in a way worse physical and emotional state, unless i’m wrong.

i tried to mirror canon in hiuh when it comes to laurent's... choices? in canon, damen is the first person he's with after his uncle because he's the only one laurent trusts. i don't have any doubts that canon laurent was terribly lonely and probably wanted to be loved waaaaay before damen came into the picture (post uncle, I mean) but his context and environment were so violent and dangerous that he couldn't let his guard down. similarly, in hiuh, laurent leaves his uncle's house without any money and in a very vulnerable position. he's not exactly carefree and happy and able to be like "oh I wanna date and fool around!! explore my sexuality!!!!" - in fact, this is a pretty big plot point in hiuh: laurent did contact damen out of pure necessity.

and yes, sex is the foundation of maxime/laurent for all the reasons I stated above, but at the same time it's not all about sex. it's not even about sex. it's about control and self-punishment. it's about self-hatred. we also don't know what state laurent was in when he started seeing maxime because we don't have his pov, but we do have nicaise's testimony. again, this is briefly mentioned in ch20, but it wasn't exactly pretty.

however, having said all of this, i'm not blind or dumb enough to think oh hiuh laurent is sooooo canon laurent, not a trace of ooc-ness. i get where the characterization issues are coming from. at the end of the day, I have to say that this post summarizes a tiny bit of what went into creating hiuh laurent. i tried to make him as canon as possible, but I'm not pacat and so my characterization is different. my setting is different. the modern au is different. it is completely fair to read hiuh and think as a reader "i would not have gone in this direction, i don't think laurent would ever be with someone who isn't damen, i don't think it's consistent with his canon self". i accept those comments in the same way i accept those that say they love this laurent bc of XYZ.

this is the one area so far where laurent has been extremely defensive and refuses to take responsibility, even though it really hurt damen

i understand this, but at the same time i don't know how much responsibility laurent can take over that when it's... just dating/fucking someone else after a break up. he should apologize for making damen feel bad on purpose (perhaps taking maxime places), but the rest of it... damen also fucked and thought about dating other people. the comparisons you mention were cruel, but they were made, for example, by characters like aimeric (removed from the narrative entirely later on) and ancel (who tells damen he was wrong, who tells damen he thinks laurent made a mistake letting him go).

i don’t see how damen could get over this massive insecurity when laurent appears to ridicule or dismiss him for bringing it up, like with the condom conversation or the pet name issue.

i understand that, but i also think damen's insecurity wasn't born just from this issue. he is an insecure person throughout the fic. his toxic masculinity is one way this insecurity and lack of self-confidence manifest, for example. his fixation on penetrative sex. his fixation on performance. his fixation on parenting like laurent because his own way is wrong. his fixation on never thinking about the things and people he lacks because he can't take it.

yes, laurent played a huge role in feeding that insecurity, but I'm failing to see where he is ridiculing damen. during the condom conversation, laurent snaps because he feels judged and attacked, not because he's making fun of damen's pain. during the pet name conversation, the same thing happens. and in both instances, damen is judging laurent. he judges laurent really harshly in other scenes, too, like when they find out about claude.

some of these issues are talked about in ch20, but I don't think there is a scene where laurent addresses everything. perhaps he should. i just didn't write it.

[kaija-rayne-author]

Dragon Age Veilguard Review 4th in series

22 game hours 20 actual playtime

Spoilers for Dragon Age Veilguard

Critical review and a rant

Obligatory disclaimer. If you've already read it you can skip to the cut.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I'm on media blackout while I play this, so I'm only getting second-hand info on how awful it is right now in the DA Fandom. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Y'know? Every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you Bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

3.5 in series is here.

If I've ever played a glitchier piece of shit game in my life I honestly can't remember it.

So I went to go watch a movie with the partner and kids. I saved my game and turned it off.

Came back and it played okay for a few hours. I met both Mae and Dorian squeeeee!

Met Davrin and Assan. Everything's going fine. I got creamed (again), I swear the devs have no idea. I'm a consistent gamer who plays on hard/tactician mode in most games I play. (Many the same style of fighting as DAV.) And I'm having trouble with the strength of these monsters. WTF do they think someone just getting into gaming is experiencing?

Anyway. I got creamed, clicked reload last save, and it loaded with the now far too familiar no CC reverted back to the basic elf body error. I went back to the main menu, and now absolutely none of the saves are showing up with video. They load with sound, map in the corner, and tags above heads but no fucking video. They're either corrupted or the game is just a piece of shit.

Yes. I'm rather annoyed. I was looking forward to finishing recruiting Davrin tonight and it doesn't make my brain happy to have to stop in the middle of what I wanted to get done. In game or out.

I'm currently verifying my files from steam. We'll see if that fixes it. I just... and this is what the devs thought was releasable? REALLY?

I know I keep using BG3 as a comparison (which honestly isn't a very good one because one is turn based and one 'live' fighting). But the Venn diagram of people who play DA and who play BG is probably a circle so that's why it comes to mind.

It's also the most recent game I've actually purchased and played a lot.

I played that day of release and on into the week and had nowhere NEAR this many problems. I actually think I've had more trouble with DAV in three ish days than I've had in BG3 for over 700 hours FFS!

Anyway. Vent over (for now. I imagine this game will give me plenty of more opportunities).

Dorian looked really weird. He has what I'm now dubbing the 'Solas effect'. He doesn't look like himself. I wouldn't have recognized him at all if it weren't for him introducing himself.

Oh, and way to retcon the condition of the veil guys. For three games it's been getting more and more tears and holes in it. Now it's solid and the only thing holding off a world of blight that hadn’t ever really existed in the fade like that before? It was just the black city. Do these guys ever get sick of retconning shit? I sure get sick of playing retconned shit.

My partner saw the game and he really can't get over how jarring the art is. He's a pretty consistent gamer too but I doubt he'll play this one.

Y'know how I said I didn't know WTF the devs were thinking in my review of the game play trailer?

I'm even more flabbergasted now. I just... seriously?

The game doesn't work well. it has numerous glitches.

The art style sucks.

The bad dudes are WAY overpowered for even a pretty decent gamer. Not so experienced gamers are likely rage-quitting in droves. Every one of the glitches I look up is pretty common. Even for people with better machines than mine.

The story took bloody forever to get started. It finally seems to have but it shouldn't take me 20 hours of game time to get somewhat invested in the story!

The characters are honestly pretty meh so far. My much beloathed Lucanis is the only mildly interesting one so far.

I honestly just can't get over how they felt this was A. Good. and B. Ready for release.

I'll keep trying. But if it's corrupted my whole 20 hours I'm not sure if I've got the stomach to replay all that boring assed nonsense to get to where I only just got to today.

I HATE writing critical reviews as a matter of course. I especially don't want to write them about a piece of intellectual property like Dragon Age that I love so very much. But What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Part 5.1

[borathae]

chapter 1

“Thank you good sir” i havent seen this in a serious manner in a long time, and laughed cuz it sounded like 1890s memes 😭 im sorry

pulls the door open with ease. NO WAY I PUSHED AN PULL DOOR BYE U DIDNT HAVE TO ATTACK SOME OF US LIKE THAT 😭 violence i will be meditating

ALSO IS IT TAE OR JIN AAH HOLD ON JOON IS TALL TOO maybe kook??

“I’ve been a student here for quite some time actually” this sits at the same table as "how long have you been 17? a while"

oh it was jooniebug WHY IS OUR PRESIDENT A DICK 😭😭

“At least I don’t look like a stoner from the seventies” JIN STOP, HOBI U LOOK AMAZING

funky what is funky why is funky when is funky where is funky how is funky who is funky

what is she studying to have history and human anatomy together?/srs. ooh literature with different stuff for minor

boi i havent heard the word coolio in a decade, the last time probably while reading ff in 2014

oh my god its the bad boy. is it yoongi? YES I WAS RIGHT

4 HOUR LECTURE ON ONE TOPIC?? BOI I WOULD HAVE DIED AND RESURRECTED IN THAT TIME. i have 2 hour lectures with 5 minute after an hour and its amazing

"No reason really”, *plays why u always lying meme

Hoseok agrees with a quirk of his perfectly styled eyebrow. YES HIS EYEBORWS ARE HOT AS FUCK

ofc kook is a sports major

rest of the Alpha dirt”, damn hoseok really got beef with them

status from royal blood? eww hoseok is slay for that *me acting like i wasnt being a thot while reading yoongi, tae, kook drabbles/oneshots

FUCK SOCIETY

“Dear lord, give me strength”, jin and joon with bangtan

JIMIN WTF U WERE SUPPOSED TO BE LIL FLUFF BEAN *bitch stop u knew how they were in the beninging(yes i misspelled for the meme) YES KICKING IN THE SHIN SUPREMACY

what is a hacky sack? i found out its a game? but what is he exactly studying lol?

also its the way she is making friends and talking to people LIKE SHE SPOKE WORDS YALL could never be me, sure i would have asked someone to help me to my classes but i wouldnt be talking after that, would have said im busy even though im not

if you would excuse me, but you’re quite weird, BYE IM LEAVING THE EARTH THIS IS THE 2ND TIME IM EMBARRASSED you can find me in 134340 business days, where i will be rotting under my blankie bye

“Perfect, now that everyone is welcomed accordingly. an example of when theater theaters in the most theater form

It leaves you wondering what he meant with that. u know what he meant by that, this is where you do the whole twilight thing

“I feel I just witnessed a man high on three different drugs theatre kids in a nutshell (apparently people on tumblr are either gay, english major or a theatre kid, and i sent the meme to my friends, guess what they said................... "looks like you fit all three category" our schools dont have it, but im apparently a theatre kid to them 😭)

WHY DOES THIS MAN WANT TO KILL ME SHUT UP I HATE YOU GO AWAY *gets closer again

How is he walking that quietly you walk with your entire feet, part by part, like in those "special" shoes ads, that helps in reducing sound. slow yet quick

“well, that is indeed a predicament.” oof so elegant, classy, AND RUDE (there 2seok, happy?)

your voice actually comes out squeaky. girl mine would have came quiet yet squeaky way before 😭

BABY CONNECT THE DOTS HOW DID THEY GET THAT FAST QUIETLY??

let’s get the 1860 one.” IS SHE THAT SPECIAL?? WHATS GOING ON AAAH

Seokjin actually answers him with a quiet “yeah!” OFC HE WOULD DO THAT

THEY GOT DEAD BODIES IN THE FREEZER

If you died here tonight EXACTLY U GONNA DIE BYE GIRL, YOU WILL (NOT) BE MISSED jk jk lol

ig kook is scared of girls *eww that was cringe bye Maybe he just needed to take a really urgent shit OH MY GOD PLS😭😭 this is going to stay in my mind forever, everytime i see him running im gonna think of this no doubt

“exactly, that is the reason. He is really shy.” aww such a shy lil bean OK BUT IK THATS NOT THE REASON *inserts suspicious hobi eyes

you must have the crispiest oxygen sounds like an indian water ad, that said "more of oxygen " Arrey yaar h2o water has not turned into h2o2 toxic hydrogen peroxide 😭

i love ur descriptions, they are very picturable and i love the vibes. it is soo good, i could smell the place? the seats, library, just the university smell, restaurant. it was great. i dont think my words do any justice lol

NO WAY I PUSHED AN PULL DOOR BYE U DIDNT HAVE TO ATTACK SOME OF US LIKE THAT 😭 violence i will be meditating

I think this is like a universal human experience to push a few pull doors lmaooa

ALSO IS IT TAE OR JIN AAH HOLD ON JOON IS TALL TOO maybe kook??

questions over question mhmhmmhm

oh it was jooniebug WHY IS OUR PRESIDENT A DICK 😭😭

QUESTIONS OVER QUESTIONS INDEED

what is she studying to have history and human anatomy together?/srs. ooh literature with different stuff for minor

honestly? i gotta be honest with you, don't think too deeply about the logistics of her studies. i chose her courses for the sake of plot and nothing else LMAOAO

boi i havent heard the word coolio in a decade, the last time probably while reading ff in 2014

coolio still slaps like 10/10 word (also you see how I made them using "outdated" words wink wink almost as if they were from a different time wink wink)

oh my god its the bad boy. is it yoongi? YES I WAS RIGHT

BADBOY YOONGI AWOO

Hoseok agrees with a quirk of his perfectly styled eyebrow. YES HIS EYEBORWS ARE HOT AS FUCK

THEY ARE THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT

ofc kook is a sports major

djjfja thinking back, it makes no sense for him to also study JFJDAFJ (you'll understand it later fasdjfj)

JIMIN WTF U WERE SUPPOSED TO BE LIL FLUFF BEAN *bitch stop u knew how they were in the beninging(yes i misspelled for the meme) YES KICKING IN THE SHIN SUPREMACY

HAHHHAHAH he may have tricked you fadjfjas

what is a hacky sack? i found out its a game? but what is he exactly studying lol?

yes it's a game fakdsfka in theory he studies dance PLEASE don't think too much about the logistic I literally just went with vibes

also its the way she is making friends and talking to people LIKE SHE SPOKE WORDS YALL could never be me, sure i would have asked someone to help me to my classes but i wouldnt be talking after that, would have said im busy even though im not

i get both sides like i would want to make friends but would be too scared that they would hate me FADJFJ if people like 2seok talked to me though? helloooooo :)

if you would excuse me, but you’re quite weird, BYE IM LEAVING THE EARTH THIS IS THE 2ND TIME IM EMBARRASSED you can find me in 134340 business days, where i will be rotting under my blankie bye

hahahahhaha this part is actually so embarassing bHAHAHHAHAHAH

“I feel I just witnessed a man high on three different drugs theatre kids in a nutshell (apparently people on tumblr are either gay, english major or a theatre kid, and i sent the meme to my friends, guess what they said................... "looks like you fit all three category" our schools dont have it, but im apparently a theatre kid to them 😭)

i don't get the hate on theater kids, all I see is people who don't fit into the "societal norm" and are therefore labelled as weird losers. we don't have stuff like "theater kid" or "sports kid" in Austria either becuse school is solely there to study not to offer clubs but I still never understood the weird hatered some clubs get in America jfdjfa

THEY GOT DEAD BODIES IN THE FREEZER

👀👀👀👀

ig kook is scared of girls *eww that was cringe bye Maybe he just needed to take a really urgent shit OH MY GOD PLS😭😭 this is going to stay in my mind forever, everytime i see him running im gonna think of this no doubt

as for now it seems like he is ooooh 👀

“exactly, that is the reason. He is really shy.” aww such a shy lil bean OK BUT IK THATS NOT THE REASON *inserts suspicious hobi eyes

SUSPICIOUS INDEED MHHHHM

i love ur descriptions, they are very picturable and i love the vibes. it is soo good, i could smell the place? the seats, library, just the university smell, restaurant. it was great. i dont think my words do any justice lol

OMGG THANK YOU!! gosh this is actually such a big compliment :( I'm so happy to know that I managed to really make you exprience the place gaaah thank you for this review heheh 💜💜

[violetfairydust]

20 Questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @dear-massacre thank you! I love you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

0 as of yet, but I do plan on posting soonish!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Out of all of the fics I've written for Teen Wolf, my total word count so far is 1,115,142

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Predominantly Teen Wolf. I used to write for The Hunger Games and Divergent, but those have taken a back seat.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I haven't posted full fics yet, but my mom's approximate top 5 favorites are

Spring Breaking the Rules - Liam and his friends are going on spring break and he invites his crush without consulting with his friends

Skating By - The Hales go rollerskating and run into some interesting characters who want Derek's attention. Features very jealous Stiles

Teacher Conferences - an AU where Stiles and Derek are dating during 3A. They run into Jennifer at the store the day before school starts and Stiles is jealous she's talking to Derek, and then the following day at school they get into a sass off

Operation: Hayden - Mason, Corey, and Nolan are afraid Hayden is coming back to Beacon Hills to reconnect with Liam even though he's moved on and they try to prevent the two of them interacting with the most ridiculous means possible

I Love You, You Love Me - all human AU where Scott dresses up for kids' birthday parties for extra money. Malia hires him for her young sister's party and he has major issues with his Barney costume

My top 5 most popular snippets that I have posted are

Stiles and Isaac argue about costumes from 'Here for the Boos'

Stiles' wetsuit from 'Lydia and the Princess'

Derek is concerned about Stiles from 'What Sees Us in the Dark'

Stiles is sick and Derek plays doctor from 'Doctor Derek'

Stiles wants to adopt the weird teenager from Louisiana from 'Needs a Waterpark'

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

When I was writing on FF dot net, I would sometimes, but I didn't have a lot of time. As soon as I get posting more, then yes.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Nothing Left to Lose. Bring on the brooding, inner turmoil, and mutual pining.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics end on a happy note, or they're not super angsty. Off the top of my head I'm going with Family Practice because it's the fic where Stiles and Derek become parents and it's a very happy occasion.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have in the past, yes, and it was one of the major reasons I stopped posting at all.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

In my mind, yes. On paper, no. I used to, but I never posted it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have not.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I posted on FF dot net a fic that was really popular and then I found out one of my readers wrote a very similar fic. It wasn't stolen or a direct rip off, but I could tell it was very clearly based off what I wrote.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've collaborated ideas, but we didn't write it together.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I gotta go with Sterek. Always and forever.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

One of my old Divergent fics. I wrote it in Tris's POV and posted all of it, but then I was going to write it in Al's POV and I got halfway through, but readers will know how it ends.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I can come up with some funky fics. I enjoy my creativity.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Description. Either of the setting, characters, or actions. I try to flesh it out in editing, but it's difficult for me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't personally do it because I'm not fluent in other languages. I'm totally fine with other people doing it. I just don't know enough to make it good.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Oof. I think it iCarly or Harry Potter.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I'm proud of so many of them. One that I always go back to entertain myself is If I May Say because I gave myself an excuse to watch YouTube while writing. Scott challenges Malia to only reply to people with the last thing she heard in the video she's watching and her replies were perfect and concerning.

[augustmourn]

20 Questions for Writers

Tagged by @jaimehwatson - thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

165! Plus one unrevealed.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

567,814

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I tend to be serially monofannish and mainly write for one fandom at a time, with small forays into other fandoms for exchanges. So right now it's Danganronpa but for quite a while before that it was Locked Tomb, etc. My longest-running fandom I've written for is probably All For The Game because that series is embedded in my brain and will never leave,

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Unexpected - Bojack Horseman, 1220 kudos. It was the most kudosed fic in the fandom for a while!

you know what they say about assumptions - Star Wars, 872 kudos.

Into the Dark - IT Movies, 723 kudos.

The Kids Are Alright - IT Movies, 680 kudos.

Lights Will Guide You Home - Star Wars, 632 kudos. I should probably just tag this one "abandoned and discontinued" since I haven't touched it in six and a half years.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I used to be better about it and then I got out of the habit, probably because I stopped responding immediately (waiting for exchange anon periods to end.) I still try to go back and respond to recent ones, but there are a lot that it would be too weird to respond to now. I really appreciate every one of them, though.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably quiet birds in circled flight, which is an IT fic where Richie commits suicide instead of Stan. At least that's the first one that comes to mind.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is a harder one to answer, honestly, because I feel like most things I write aren't long enough to have an earned happy ending; it's usually at least bittersweet. My actual answer is probably the 50k Komahina fic that I'm in the process of editing, because the current ending was maybe the sweetest thing I've ever written and I disgusted myself.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I had one fic attract a bunch of hate comments because it was werewolf in wolf form/human smut. It was mostly funny.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. Lots. I've been told my specialty is noncon but I write a lot of other stuff too!

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Never have and not sure if I ever will! It's just not something that really appeals to me, for some reason.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think I had one put on Wattpad but I don't remember how that turned out.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Into Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, mostly because I don't think I could write that collaboratively. The idea is interesting to me, though.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I don't know if I'm capable of having an all-time favourite.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I would like to tell myself I will someday finish my Star Wars WIP, but I was still in high school last time I touched it, and my writing style and taste have changed so dramatically since then that I would want to rewrite the entire thing. I would also like to go back and finish the second chapter of the Karate Kid fic I posted.... three years ago? That's at least possible.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Porn, I think. It's pretty easy for me to write at this point. I like writing arguments, I like writing fight scenes.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I still have not figured out how to do structural or significant editing on longer stories. I finished three long stories (at least first drafts) in 2023, one had to be posted for a deadline, and the other two are extremely daunting to consider.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've never done it, I'd be intimidated, I'd have to ask a native speaker for assistance.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Hunger Games, when I was eleven! The fic was not good and it's still online until FFN goes bust.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

My TLT longfic Crashing remains possibly the proudest achievement of my life thus far. More than four times as long as the previous longest story I'd ever finished!

Tagging @ladyculebras @hearthouses @gregwambsganss @queermccoy and anyone else who wants to!

[wifiwuxians]

quick aside for my moment of befuddlement because ive always misunderstood the idiom "like a house on fire" LOL. i always thought it was a passive aggressive way of saying "dude, we would destroy each other lets not talk" so when i first read that I was like ??? context??? doesnt match??? did they misunderstand the idiom? DID I? then i googled it and you're right lol its a nice thing. (tho now i wanna put that in a fic bc i think that would be a delightful misunderstanding for characters to have). IM SO GLAD I MADE UR FUNK SLIGHTLY LESS FUNKY THO. you're great and you're super sweet ;w; if i had more self-confidence, i would definitely jump at the opportunity to befriend. maybe when i get more gutsy

BACK TO THE SONG LAN HATE THO. im sorry, im still in shock. just HOW. also..... how is my interpretation of them not the common one??? again, i stay so strictly to my lane i didnt know other lanes existed and i definitely dont want to hear about it bc i think song lan hate would hurt my heart. it already hurts my heart sometimes when i see xue yang hate and XUE YANG DESERVES IT. literally i despair at media literacy sometimes. i absolutely cannot understand how anyone consumed the same content as we did and decided to be mean to song lan.

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY A FAVORITE ARTIST, DUDE. have you fucking SEEN your stuff?!? like, are you as blind as xiao xingchen? (my sweetie, may he forever regain his sight). your art is GORGEOUS. absolutely worthy of being a fav artist and i am sure im not the only one. for starters, your pieces always have a depth to them that sets them in a scene so freaking beautifully EVEN WHEN THERES NO BG or even in your more simplified styles. when you come out with a "silly phone doodle of xue yang", i see the freaking SKILL needed to make THAT adorable lil gremlin as just a 'silly doodle'. like BRO, youre so skilled that i think youve lost depth of how good an artist you really are. i wish i was smarter with art words so i could tell you in color theory exactly why your colors are so beautiful but im dumb and all i know is "color pretty" BUT SINCE I CAN PORTRAY STUFF WITH WORDS SOMETIMES i'll try to just express how your colors alone can evoke emotion and tell a story, how you use the contrast to make your art pop off the page, the way that the colors caress a scene and show so much more inside. its beautiful, your art is beautiful, i can look at a piece for such a long time and still find interesting details that make me smile. oki i'll stop beng weird now but like NEVER DOUBT YOU'RE FREAKING SKILL BRO. (shit i didnt even get to how your animations just break my brain oeuihgo i love)

lolololol dw abt telling me about the cannibalisms piece, i look Specifically disrespectfully at that one. not big into cannibalism but damn dude, there is a Mood to that piece and frankly, something that messed up sort of suits them on their worst days euorhgioeurh i like me a fluff au or a fix-it fic but damn those two can get Dark.

My otps are often rarepairs ;A; i never do it on purpose, im normally jumping headfirst into a more popular ship but then i just See the potential in two other lil guys and im like.... holdup, wait is no one else seeing those two??? AM I THE ONLY ONE WITNESSING THIS? (yes, yes i am). And the hyperfixation begins and its just me alone at a bar with no bartenders so i make my own food. but im a weird lil guy so my cocktails are always strange and im alone at the bar lol. tbh songxue is one of my LESS rarepair rarepairs. like... theres actually fics that i didnt write for them LOL. (there was one fandom where there were 40 fics for a ship and i wrote all 40. i am a sad and lonely lil loser lol)

(scuse me one of my fav artists said they think i'd write my otp well, i can die happy oaierhgoeirh i actually do write ff for songxue but hahaha im still just a silly anon but its rlly good to know that the person i think characterizes them best in the fandom (that ive seen) thinks i would do a good job with them aoeghuihr thankyou for the high praise, i guarantee i dont deserve it)

(sometimes i've wondered if the reason you draw/write them so well is bc you dont ship them? weird take but like, shippers have shipping goggles right? we see what we wanna see a lot of the time. but since you just think they'd be neat standing next to each other (much agree), you actually put thought into their characterizations and personality instead of just "this is how they'd F*CK" or smth similar. and bc the personalities and stuff mean way more to me than sexy stuff (thats the whole reason i ship them! their personalities!) the fact that even your crack stuff has such a good basis in who they are as people makes your content just so good. whereas sometimes i see content by shippers (no disrespect meant, everyone ships in their own way), its very actively ooc, usually for a kink fill, and im just... but what abt their personalities? what abt the whole reason i think they'd be good together if given the chance?! WHAT ABOUT THEM? and then u come around drawing them like that and i just wish more people portrayed them the way you do. this isnt meant as like an anti-smut thing, i like smut, its just that sometimes pwp is just two strangers who happen to have the character names of my blorbos and literally nothing else in common and theyre my BLORBOS. more power to people who like that stuff, i will stay in my lane and bother this poor lovely person who doesnt even like the ship but is kind enough to see their potential to be pals cuz damn im in it for the emotions)

heh heh yeah it means we'd get along well but i like that interpretation too and think it would make a great story!! here's to you becoming more gutsy! (though again you're very free to use an alt or something!)

genuinely why i don't go looking lmao... song lan fans are so fucking strong to have to deal with the shit people have said BUT nowadays the climate seems to be a lot better :D i see lots of thirst for him at least KFHKDJ and my appreciation post of him has 800 notes so that's hopeful at least! but same i don't get it at all (though honestly i will say a lot of character hate stems from shipping. legit.) but yeah regarding xy hate for me it's gotta be for the "right" reasons LMAO

LJHLFHFD ALL THE COMPLIMENTS MY BRAIN CANT TAKE EM!!!! genuinely!!! THANK YOU!!!! i do often tell myself 'your stuff doesn't have to be perfect it just has to spark joy' to feel better about not rendering a piece to hell and back and mostly taking the lazy route, though this year i really wanna branch out and try more! but all of this has shot me in the heart... emotion to me is the most important part of art, and one of my favorite responses to get is laughter, and you don't need a 4K HD piece for that haha BUT LISTEN YOURE NOT WEIRD EVERY ARTIST I KNOW WOULD KILL TO HEAR THIS im gonna frame it. but after ive printed and eaten another copy like wow you think i set the scene ;_; will cry (agsjdhf sorry i really do read everything im just. PROCESSING!!!)

ahaha yeah for sure! i do love me some cannibalism (i am the cannibal friend) but absolutely that was just intended as a very dark place. song lan has Had it (the premise was xy thinking hey, he likes me, let me remove the nails i am sure everything will be fineOHNOOO)

oh dude i have chronic rarepair disease. most of what i ship is stuff i've come up with myself so any content is me + 2 souls maximum who i have managed to drag with me and make content KSGKFJ (case in point, xuechao) i just have this compulsion to do what nobody else has done

(you do deserve it! and dont go looking i wanna keep being the one who portrays them best :p)

and hey maybe because YES!!!! my work almost exclusively stems from personality oh my god thank you for acknowledging that i think that is the highest praise of all... how their personalities gel together is SUPER important for me, shipping or otherwise!! i'm telling you you and i would get along really well since we agree on the fundamentals i think! like yeah there's nothing wrong with some good old self indulgence but ooc takes me out of stuff a fair bit, and trust me i feel like most people would think MY stuff is ooc! but the thing about the strangers with blorbo names made me laugh so hard lhKDHJAfhsg i am so guilty of that in the past, i've read my old stuff and i'm just like damn. i just projected onto these dudes. NO MORE (it is bound to still happen privately but hey, ultimately, write what you want to read)

song lan and xue yang, in the 'if given the chance' realm, have exactly my favorite type of duo dynamism which is why i cannot stop drawing them lol like some funky spin on boke/tsukkomi... generally speaking ">:D -_-" is visually my favorite thing to draw haha and again! i wanna say it's not an all-out global dislike, i just a) understand most people are NOT coming at it from where i am so it doesn't interest me/makes me sad, and B) understand WHY people wouldn't be into it. because wow. um. ouch. that sure is some shit

i am gonna take a moment to plug an author i think you might really enjoy, pomegranites on ao3 (@pometogo on here!) ! i can't speak for Every flavor in there being to your tastes but there are definitely a fair few fics that made me bonkers, namely not easily let go, written for song lan love week :D

[atticsandwich]

20 Questions for Writers

thanks for the tag, @fickleminder! <3

just wanted to do this for fun, so no tags :> i'll leave the questions below for anyone who wants to do it though! u can say i tagged u hihi <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

i currently only have 10 :') i deleted/orphaned a lot of my old stuff from previous fandoms (even purged my ff net, which i still regret bc i didn't have any backups)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

21,432!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

currently mainly writing for obey me, but i have written for genshin, haikyuu, pokemon, ensemble stars, my hero academia, final fantasy, harvest moon (story of seasons), and the inazuma eleven series

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

name - genshin impact, xiao/aether like a bird perched on your shoulder - haikyuu, atsumu/hinata burnt toast, sunday - obey me, mephisto/mc more than they can say - obey me, mephisto/mc out of focus, eye to eye - obey me, beel/mc

5. Do you respond to comments?

as much as i can! i foget to sometimes though lol

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don't think i write particularly angst-y fics, but the one that would fit the bill the most would be more than they can say

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most of my fics have happy-ish endings, i tend to write fluff more often than not >< i'll just say before the constellations of autumn arrive since it's more or less a reunion fic

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really, thankfully! i do get the occassional "i'll kill u /pos" comments, which i enjoy :>

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i used to, but don't anymore :') i kinda suck at it so it's a good thing i stopped lol

10. Do you write crossovers?

i've written my fair share of pokemon au fics... which does fall in the crossover category, i think

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of, thankfully!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, back on ff net! idk where it is now tho :') all i know is that it was a tsurugi/tenma fic

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

not yet! maybe one day.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

heavy question. i have a lot of favorites, but the ship i will always love and fall back to regardless of whether or not i'm in the fandom anymore is atsuhina (atsumu/hinata) from haikyuu

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I WANNA FINISH IT SO BAD especially after the phantom butterfly ssr devilgram :'(

16. What are your writing strengths?

i honestly have no idea, lol. a lot of people say i write dialogues really well, and that my characterizations are always on point, so... maybe that?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

oh this one i know. visualization. i still have trouble with it sometimes but at least i can say i've improved on it lol

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

depends, i guess? it can be done well, imo. i've read some fics where the author inserts their own native language in their writing.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

inazuma eleven. funnily enough, i've been in a pokemon fan for longer but have only thought about writing for it after i've already written for ina11

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

they're all my children u can't make me pick (<- has insane overthinking periods where i think none of my writing is good enough)

(questions under the cut!)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

[ulkoilla]

Self-tagged from @bleachbleachbleach

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

Only three – most of my ff is in Finnish and online elsewhere

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

91,889

W00t w00t the next couple biweekly updates will get me above 100 k!

3) What fandoms do you write for?

I have only Bleach fic in AO3, but I've also written Black Lagoon, Daria, Doctor Who, Dragonlance, House M.D., Raid (a Finnish crime drama/thriller), Sanctuary, Supernatural and Stargate Atlantis

4) Top 5 fics by kudos?

All Her Parts (13 kudos at the moment), Kim’s game (6) and At one evening in a convenience store (4)

Interestingly, the 5/10 chapters of All Her Parts has also more hits than the 19 chapters of Kim’s game. Maybe the title of Kim’s game was unfortunate - It isn’t an OC story, the name refers to the memory game played in Kipling’s novel Kim)

5) Do you respond to comments?

Yes! They are few and far between, but I love them and I love responding.

6) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have quite a few angsty or unhappy endings in my stories but perhaps Salakatselijan päiväkirja (Diary of a Stalker, the content only in Finnish) or Etsin vain ehdotonta rakkautta (I was only searching for unconditional love, also the content only in Finnish) might be at a tie.

Diary of a Stalker is a Bleach AU where Bya mourns for Hisana and kinda starts to stalk Rukia, who he doesn’t know is Hisana’s sister. I was only searching for unconditional love is a House M.D. fic of Cuddy and Rachel and their mother-daughter relationship.

7) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uuf do I have happy endings…? I have plenty non-sad or ambiguous endings but I guess not that many I’d call happy. Kim’s game actually ranks high in here imo?

8) Do you get hate on fics?

I’ve never gotten any hate comments for some reason.

9) Do you write smut?

No. Tried it once, didn’t like it. I rarely write sex in general, and when I do, it tends to be strictly non-explicit.

Nothing wrong with smut, it just isn’t my thing to read or write. Unless things get weird enough, then I’m happy to read. With enough weird in the mix, it stops being about sex even when genitalia is at use. Then I'm on board again.

10) Do you write crossovers?

Not really. I find that it’s rare that different pieces fit together in a way I find satisfying. The one and only x-over I’ve written is a DW+Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy humor piece.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Only if you count me doing translation/rewrite of my own fic

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. But I’d like to – there is sooo much great ideas and such with powerful scenes and fun plots. I’d love to be the person who adds description of various shit without having to deal with characterization and whatnot. But with this role and me not operating in my native language it has an extra layer of working not great.

14) What's your all-time favorite ship?

My OPT of all-time is Raistlin+Dalamar, where I’m using the + to indicate it’s not romantic or sexual but not platonic in “just friends” or "practically family" way.

15) What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Almost all I seriously plan to finish, but I’m going to pick the story with a working title of Ihmeiden kaupunki (City of Wonder). It's a Sanctuary fic where a bunch of women, Helen and Ashley among them, are sent to another planet to spread human life to space. It’s supposed to be women only (resource use & lack of artificial wombs) but Nikola uses his connections and gets in.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Persistence. If I see enough reason to write something, and if I judge that I want to write it, then I’ll fucking write it. It may take a long time, but I’ll write it.

I’d like to think that I’m good at writing description but that’s for my readers to judge.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

The snail speed I proceed, lol.

I’m actually not good at making plot. It’s difficult for me to plan the scenes and decide what’s going to happen next, and what kind of feeling the scenes should carry.

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I avoid it. If the reader should understand the dialogue, then it must be “translated” to the reader for them to do so.

If the reader isn’t supposed to understand it, why bother to write lines that won’t make any sense to the reader? Then what it the reader understands it, is it going to spoil something, or does the reader find themselves reading something utterly irrelevant?

I can imagine there are some tricks that can be done with this but it’s a niche use.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

I can’t remember

20) Favorite fic you've ever written?

An unfinished The Walking Dead piece with a working title tkei. The title is probably an abbreviation of something but I can’t remember what. But the writing! I love the way I was able to write it! When I read it, I’m making myself happy and immersed in the story instead of wanting to alter phrasing here and there.

It’s an AU where the zombies never came and no found families form. After Rick wakes up from the come and find Lori and Shane banging, he is forced to move to Daryl’s place (Merle is in prison, Daryl can’t pay the bills to keep the lights on, and Rick can’t afford to rent). Everyone is deeply unhappy and lonely.

[butterbeerblurbs]

ahhh! i just read both of your dejavu stories, and ; -;. can i request a FLUFFY ff that follows fred and the reader's wedding - the engagement, the planning process (like picking out a dress with molly ; - ;), and the actual ceremony, if that's ok? THANK YOU! 🖤

askdjlkasdas oh my gODDDDD this is such a cute idea :") i am living for dejavu!reader with molly because... tell me otherwise i can'T HEAR YOU. i didn’t elaborate so much but kept it brief??? but i did try to indulge in a couple of ideas so hopefully that’s okay!! hope you enjoy this one, bub! <3

note: this got... much longer than i had anticipated but i hope you enjoy! :D

//

forever and a bit more after that (f.w.)

💌: fred thought his dream had came true when you agreed to marry him. the real dream was watching you walk down the aisle towards him. 📝 word count: 2,515 words / fred weasley x florist!reader / 🌸 wedding fluff :”) 💬: part of the dejavu!au/ff that i wrote but can be read as a stand-alone thing ✨i’m not sure how different it would be with the wizarding world but... let’s just roll with it lmao)

if there’s a quota to how many times molly has cried throughout the planning process for your wedding with fred, she went way over the count over and over and over again.

the preparations of your wedding was as seamless as they get. it was just a small ceremony at the burrow; a couple of close friends, family members and not much of a crowd but molly wanted it to be perfect. you had taken care of the flower arrangements (given it’s your nature, it would’ve been a sin not to) while the rest of the weasleys’ had it covered for you.

it felt like you were planning your fairytale. bit by bit, piecing it to come to life as you and fred chose out the napkins, lighting decor, color schemes (which happens to be a simple white with wooden features for a rustic overall look),

from picking out your dress which you said yes, this is absolutely perfect! which garnered a teary-eyed molly and ginny trying to keep her together to stop bursting into tears when they see you wearing the dress. it enveloped your body gorgeously, complimented your figure and they just know–without a doubt–fred weasley would start crying the moment he lay his eyes on you.

they were proven correct.

he did.

he barely lasted five seconds when the stepped out onto the aisle to walk towards him and george swears this is the only moment he would not make fun of his twin.

it felt near magical the moment you saw yourself in a white dress. standing in front of the mirror, watching how your body reacted to being in a wedding dress; you couldn’t stop smiling–neither could molly, ginny and hermione as they held their breaths. the first dress is always the giddiest one because it’s the first one you’re wearing. for the longest time, you’ve wanted to marry freddie–even though in between you thought you’d marry cedric–now, it was becoming a reality.

the boy who loved you silently while you chased for your happiness when your true happiness was by your side the entire time. the thought alone always makes you teary-eyed and now even more when you’re seeing your own reflection with the dress on.

“how’re you feelin’?” hermione asks softly, reaching out to pat your back as you stand on the podium with their eyes on you. the feeling was still surreal; never did you think you’d be here but everything felt right. you’re not even sure if this is the dress you’re gonna get but it still made the butterflies swarm free.

“the happiest i’ve been,” you whisper gently, sniffing the tears up because godric forbid you’d ruin your makeup. “i’ve wanted to marry freddie for the longest time and i just–”you catch molly’s eyes from behind you through the mirror and see that she’s trying to hold it together without bursting into an emotional volcano”–i can’t believe it’s happening.”

molly can’t help but tug you from the podium to embrace you. ginny and hermione following suit with quiet sounds of comfort and pure wholesomeness.

//

if fred was your rock, molly would be your lighthouse because she was there through every step. including choosing the flowers despite fred’s chastise of mum, y/n is literally a florist! i’m sure she knows what she wants!

it was the littlest things that made you feel anxious.

whether all the decor would come together or what if people don’t turn up? what if food gets wasted or there’s too much? what if this accident happens or that accident happens. it was testing your patience not to be a bride-zilla when you just wanted everything to be perfect.

it was somewhat evident the stress was getting to you. the wedding was in a couple of days and everything was set. what’s left is the preparations on the day itself and the setting up. apart from that, everything should be–should be–perfect.

of course, your brain wouldn’t allow you to think so. not even fred could manage to comfort you when it’s his (first) wedding too. that leaves you to sitting outside by the grass, watching fireflies float about into the night as the stars accompany you. you’ve decided to take a breather, telling fred you’d want to be alone and you would return back to his room in a bit. although fred was unwilling, he gave you a kiss and told you to come back to him when you’re ready.

there was no doubt in your mind you wanted to marry fred weasley... it’s just... the nerves, the anxiety, the worry. everything bottled up and as you stare at the engagement ring on your finger, it’s...

“i hope you’re not getting second thoughts there, lovely.”

you jolt lightly from being seated on the grass, looking over to–”hey...”

“mind if i join ya, sweetheart?” molly points to the vast emptiness, to which you pat a spot beside you, “i’d be delighted.”

molly takes a seat next to you, getting comfortable when you reach out to hug her arm and cuddle against her. she sighs, resting her cheek atop your head as the both of you stare across the horizon as the night envelopes the pair of you in.

“you’re always gonna worry, y/n.” she speaks softly, almost as if she understands what’s going through in your mind. then again, she probably does. “but it’s all gonna go away once you walk down that aisle and realise that regardless of what happens–be it getting a spill on your dress or a couple of people not turning up–the wedding will be for the main purpose it’s there for.”

you know she’s serious but you can’t help but–”the cake?”

“you cheeky bugger.”

“...what is it?”

molly sighs and nudges you away, so she can get a good look at you with a hand on your cheek, “marrying the one you love.”

she offers you a smile as her eyes gaze away from you, as if she’s reminded of what made her calm through her wedding day.

“that’s the only thing that matters.”

she notices the tension diminishing, yet there’s still a noticeable chokehold. the both of you slip back into your original position and molly leans against you, a hand patting the side of your arm as she hugs you from the side.

“the only thing you should be worrying about is if you have a groom that’s got cold feet and doesn’t show up on the day itself,” she speaks. “but by the looks of it, and knowing my son,” she peeks at you just as you look up to her with a small grin, “freddie’s been ready to marry you ever since he brought you back. so that boy isn’t running anywhere other than towards you for your hand in marriage.”

“so... what i’m getting here is... i have nothing to worry about?”

molly shakes her head with a smile.

“not even the cake?”

she’s reminded of who’s in charge of the cake–george–so she shrugs a little.

“maybe you can worry a little but–”

“not too much?” you finish her sentence, to which she pats your arm, “you’re a bright and smart witch, y/n. i’m sure you know that all of these worries are nothing but trivial. if something does happen, you should know by now us weasley’s get things done quickly.”

almost instantly, you’re reminded of the moments fred’s been quick on his feet whenever something goes south. a date spot that doesn’t turn out well? there was a plan b, spontaneous on the go. whenever you had imagined for doesn’t go as plan, fred was there to reassure you and come up with ways to change it up. ultimately, it was never about what the content was about but who was by your side. seeing fred’s face through it all was all that mattered.

molly’s words made you see the bigger picture and molly knows she’s done her job when you hug her arm and give it a tight squeeze.

“thank you, molly.”

“always a pleasure, dear.”

//

you enter fred’s bedroom to find your favorite ginger head in bed as he leans against the headboard, book on his lap with a pencil as he’s sketching up product ideas. george said he’ll bunk rooms with percy to give the to-be-wed lovebirds privacy. when you close the door behind you, fred’s already looking at you with a smile, noticing the change in your demeanour as you walk towards the bed.

he shifts about, ready to stand up from the bed but is confused when you carefully peel his book and pencil to set it on the side table. he welcomes it wholeheartedly when you climb onto the bed and straddle him, arms curling around his neck as you cocoon onto him. you feel one of his arms around your waist, reeling you in closer while the other reaches up to stroke the back of your head.

“i’m assuming mum’s given you a good chat?” fred murmurs into your hair, chuckling when you huff into his ear.

“how’d you always know?”

he makes you lean back so he can grin at you, “because if there’s one thing i know for sure, you’re marrying me because of my mum, too. then she’s our mum.”

your hands move to squish his cheeks, “our mum or not... i... she reminded me of the actual purpose of the wedding than worrying about all the other details.”

fred’s on the same wavelength as you as he squeezes your waist, brows perking, “not even the cake?”

“that’s what i said!” excitement got over you, and you remember to stay on track. you clear your throat, giving his head a light shake, “the purpose of the wedding is to marry the one i love. and as long as he’s not going anywhere, then...”

“are you suggesting i was gonna get cold feet?” he sounds offended. almost too offended.

“hey, no! that’s not what i–”

“you’d be mad to think i would get cold feet to not wanna marry you.” fred shifts up, making you squeak when he pushes you forward to have you pinned down below him as he hovers above you, ”d’you know how long i’ve waited to marry you?”

he shakes his head as he gazes down on you, a hand of his stroking your cheek, “almost too long, love. as long as you’re not going anywhere, neither am i.”

you move your hands to put your arms around his neck once more, this time, hooking your legs around his waist as well.

“i’m not going anywhere.”

fred smiles, leaning down with his lips merely brushing over yours, “then we have nothing to worry about.”

//

the actual wedding itself was a whirlpool of emotions; all waiting to combust the second you walk down the aisle and fred’s already teary-eyed watching as you head your way towards him. the veil thinly lacing your features, the glow of white that radiates from your skin to reflect the light onto your face; fred nearly forgets to breath but then he manages to chuckle when you two meet eyes.

george manages to root fred in reality with a hand on his shoulder, giving his twin brother a squeeze to make sure he doesn’t faint. now is the only time in their lives that george won’t make a joke. he knows like the back of his hand of how many sleepless nights fred’s had filled with what if’s and if only’s. too often, george has found fred staring at you in awe, quietly, yearningly. 

now as george lets go of fred, it’s when you appear in front of him and fred shakily reaches out to unveil you. he sucks in a breath as you blink up to him, the faint makeup on your face as ginny helped you with it and the way your hair is tucked behind your ears with gorgeous tiny daises hermione has had a hand at pinning into your hair.

yet nothing, nothing can take away the sparkle in your eyes, growing glassy at the sight of his. you’re crying because he’s crying. and he’s crying because you’re crying. it’s a lose-lose, but a win-win at the same time.

everyone grows quiet, allowing fred’s croaky voice gently rake everyone’s heartstrings. you look stunning. i can’t believe i get to marry you after so long. they laugh when you huff and lightly punch his chest. my makeup is all ruined now and it’s your fault.

bill officiates the wedding. short and somewhat cryptic vows are exchanged with meanings only you and fred know of and so does everyone else even if they don’t necessarily know what it actually means. it moves so fast, yet so slow up until each second. fred pulls you in and holds you delicately. you feel the urgency rising as he cups your cheek to seal the band of your marriage; the unity resting on your finger as it circles around fred’s.

it felt like a dream come true. the miracle you had been waiting for.

with fred gazing into your eyes as they open after the kiss, the loud roars of cheer somehow mute out. fred enters the quiet space with you as he leans his forehead onto yours. 

this was your happily ever after. it won’t be perfect, but it was yours, it was fred’s. when fred leans away and puts his hand in yours, fingers interlocking, it’s a promise that as long as the two of you walk alongside one another, hand-in-hand, there’s nothing you two can’t overcome.

((molly’s headed to bed, leaving fred alone by the dinner table that night... but... she came out shortly after when she heard sniffles down below. it was quiet, deep into the night where everyone’s gone to bed except for two. molly peers from the stairs, a crooked, skewed view between the steps to see her son on the floor, cradling you in his arms as the two of you squeal with joy. 

there’s candles floating around the pair of you accompanied by the soft scent of roses in the air yet the thing that takes the entire scenario is the way you’re excitedly giggling as you wave your hand in front of fred’s face. molly squints and does her best to not fall down the steps, only to inch a bit closer to see–sparkle, sparkle–oh, oh my god.

molly has to put both hands on her mouth to stop herself from revealing she’s been spying. it–ring–wedding–fred had just proposed.

by the looks of it... you had said yes.

“i can’t believe i’m going to marry my best friend.”

“hey! that was my line!”

“i said it first!”

“no, you didn’t!”

molly quickly hurries into her room and pretends she doesn’t know anything. though, that night, molly wasn’t able to sleep properly knowing very well what was going to come the next morning. all she knows is, she has never felt happier for fred before. this... this definitely overtakes the joke’s shop and the day he brought you back to announce you two were dating.))

[ladylynse]

Chapter 10 [FF | AO3] of Revision: Maddie can’t deny it any longer. If ectoplasm can become blood, there’s more to this story than she ever realized.

Beginning | Previous

-|-

Time stretched.

Stopped.

Snapped back into place.

Slowed again.

At some point, Maddie realized that Alicia had given her another cup of coffee—already sweetened—even though Maddie couldn’t remember drinking the first. A piece of rhubarb crumble sat in front of her, heaped with an extra helping of the caramelized sugar and oat topping. The plate by Alicia had been pushed aside in favour of the local newspaper and was empty but for a few streaks of sticky pink, the odd rolled oat, and her fork.

Maddie wasn’t aware that she’d made any sound, but Alicia glanced in her direction. “You holding up? You can talk to me if you’re ready.”

“I’m fine,” Maddie said, but even as the lie passed her lips, she was reminded again of how often she’d heard that from Danny.

Had she gotten the habit from him without realizing it?

“I’ll be fine.” The correction didn’t have as much strength behind it as she wished it would. “I’m just….” She let the sentence die, but Alicia nodded.

She still understood Maddie better than Maddie understood her. Or Danny. Or Jazz.

Maddie licked her lips, but her entire mouth felt dry. She took another sip of coffee. “So you know about Danny. And…and Phantom.”

Alicia folded the paper and set it aside. “Saw it with my own eyes. Didn’t ask for an explanation; didn’t really need one, even if there had been time. My priority was to help them, not question them.”

“Right, of course. But you….” How could she say this? “You always thought the same as Mom and Dad. That I was throwing my life away by studying the paranormal.”

Alicia arched an eyebrow. “Don’t you go putting words in my mouth. What you did with your life was always your business as far as I was concerned. I was happy for you when you got accepted into that program of yours, you’ll recall. So was Mom. She didn’t burn that cake on purpose.”

“But you still…. You never used to believe in ghosts.”

“People are allowed to change what they believe.” The response was dry, but Alicia had a hint of a teasing smile on her face. “Or are you gonna try to tell me that you believe exactly what you believed about ghosts before any of this happened?”

“I’m not, I just—” Maddie raked a hand through her hair. “Vlad’s the same way. He’s like Danny, I mean. There was an accident back in college, something that had Vlad in the hospital for months. You might remember me telling you about it. Jack and I had known it was bad, and we’d tried not to take it to heart when Vlad said he didn’t want to see us, but—” She shook her head. “We didn’t realize what had happened then. We didn’t realize what happened to Danny when it somehow happened again. I don’t know about Danielle, but—”

“But you know now,” Alicia interrupted, “and you’re acting accordingly. You’re changing your approach based on what you’ve discovered. Scientific method, isn’t it?”

Maddie gave her sister a weak smile she wasn’t really feeling, though she doubted it was enough to fool Alicia. “Yes, I’m trying, but this entire thing with Vlad— He says Danny won’t accept him as a mentor, so he’s been playing the part of the villain to help Danny learn the things he needs to know. Danny’s never liked Vlad since they met. Jazz was pragmatic for a while before she dropped all sense of subtlety about it, too, and I know it has to do with the enmity Vlad has fostered between them, but I don’t—”

“Take a breath. We’ve got time to talk.”

Maddie did as instructed, taking a moment to try to organize her thoughts. “I don’t know what came first. What sparked the animosity. Danny’s worry about Vlad is real, but I don’t know if there’s more behind it than what Vlad told me. I wanted to talk to them both going forward, to help Jack and I learn, but Danny’s reaction to that bug—”

He’d recognized it as Vlad’s technology as readily as she had, and he hadn’t even had the luxury of seeing it intact.

It begged the question of how often he—or possibly Tucker—had dismantled or straight up destroyed something similar.

“Ask him once he’s back. That’s the simplest.”

“He wanted to leave Vlad out of it.”

“That was before he knew how involved Vlad was.”

“But I don’t know—”

“And you still won’t have a hope of knowing until you hear both sides of it,” Alicia cut in. “If you ask and Danny decides to tell you, then it should be a little easier to figure out then, don’t you think? Since Vlad’s told you his side, now you need to listen to Danny’s, not just Jazz’s version of it. You might not be the only one he’s keeping secrets from. If he was so ready to be open about all of this, he might have told you and Jack everything before this ever happened. But he wasn’t ready, and he didn’t, so here we are.”

If only Danny had told them, if only she’d known, if only she could turn back the clock and make another choice—

But he hadn’t told them when he’d had the opportunity—because surely, at some point, there must have been even a single moment where he’d considered telling them; the thought that there hadn’t been only made her feel ill—and she hadn’t stopped what she’d been doing when she’d had Danielle in the lab with her even though she’d had the opportunity.

Maddie swallowed, but she knew Alicia raised fair points. What ifs aside, it was highly unlikely that Jazz knew everything, and if Sam and Tucker had been able to fill in the missing pieces, wouldn’t they have at least told Jazz once Danny had disappeared?

There were still things she didn’t know.

There were things she might never know.

“You’re right.”

“Of course I’m right. Now eat your crumble or you’re cleaning out the spittoon Jasper uses when he’s over visiting while I eat your crumble; maybe that’ll keep you out of your own head for a bit.”

Maddie snorted, but she picked up her fork and let the sweetened tartness of the crumble fill her mouth.

-|-

Danny had told her to punch in the date of their parents’ wedding for the override code, but he had failed to tell her which format to use. Jazz cursed under her breath as she started for a third time, this time putting the year first. If she went through all this and it turned out that Tucker had used the wrong day….

The computer let out a series of beeps but didn’t light up. That was more than it had done before, but it wasn’t any proof that the override was working. Jazz tapped her Fenton Phone to switch the transmitter back on. “Tuck, if I’ve got in your override code, is there any easy way to bring up the display?”

There was a beat of silence before, “Wait, you only tried the override now?”

“Yeah, because it’s something you forgot to tell me about. Danny told me.”

“You spoke to—”

“—heard from—”

“—Danny?”

Jazz wasn’t entirely surprised Sam had jumped into the conversation. “He’s okay. So is…our cousin.” The words felt like a lie, and it had been so long since she’d had any reason to lie to Sam or Tucker. “Sorry, I was going to tell you after I got this going. He’s not in the Ghost Zone, but Dad still is, and Vlad’s definitely pulled something. I just don’t know what. That’s one of the reasons I need to break everything he’s trying and you need to keep your eyes peeled.”

They’d want to keep asking her questions—how could they not? She would if their situations were reversed—but they knew enough to focus on the task at hand first. Tucker took a bit of time to collect himself and then started talking her through things. She had to get him to clarify whenever he described something she didn’t see, and then she’d have to tell him what was in front of her, and the process was not short.

Still, she didn’t realize how long everything was taking until she heard Vlad’s voice coming from directly behind her. “Got a little lost on your way to the kitchen, did you?”

Jazz’s shriek was not dignified, and the pained hisses in her ear from Tucker and Sam meant it had sounded entirely too piercing to them, but it had been a rough couple of days. They wouldn’t blame her. “Don’t act like you’re surprised,” she groused. She’d leave the transmitter on in case Vlad decided to try something else; might as well give Sam and Tucker as good an idea of what was happening to her as she could. “Danny’s secret is out, your secret is out, Mom and Dad will figure out what the truth means sooner rather than later, and suing you for patent infringement is the least they’ll do once the restraining order is in place.”

Vlad let out another world-weary sigh, and he moved to put the plate of omelet he was holding onto one of the work benches. Jazz kept her back to the computer and braced herself against the console with both arms, wanting to make his touching it as inconvenient as possible even if he tried to sneak around her with an invisible clone. As long as she was wearing the Spectre Deflector, he couldn’t stand in the same place she was occupying any more than he could overshadow her.

That was assuming he hadn’t already been countering everything she’d done before ever making her aware of his presence, of course, and it wasn’t an assumption she was sure she could make. For all she knew, he wouldn’t even have needed to use the same console to override her. She doubted Vlad did much without having a backup in place—Danny was too good at destroying his first attempts for Jazz to think he hadn’t learned if it wasn’t something he’d been doing all along—and even with Tucker talking her through things, she wasn’t confident that she would have noticed Vlad doing something right under her nose.

Not that she’d bother accusing him of this. She wouldn’t even get any satisfaction out of it. He’d deny it, just like he denied everything else, and she wouldn’t believe him because he hadn’t given her any reason to believe him.

There was absolutely no part of her that trusted Vlad, and that was not going to change.

That ship had sailed even before she’d pretended to run away to him and he’d tried to have her fight her brother to the death.

Of course, he wouldn’t necessarily have needed to counter her right now as long as he’d stood there and watched and listened long enough to figure out what she’d done.

She might have shown him enough of Tucker’s override for him to work out how to undo everything the moment she walked away. If he found a way to counter it, Tucker would have to start from scratch, and whatever Vlad had sent after Danny and his friend, after Maddie, after Jack—

“Just for a moment,” Vlad said without flinching under Jazz’s steely stare, “let us entertain the notion that I really am as terrible as you think.”

“Sure, since you are.”

“Do you truly believe your parents would win a court case against me?”

“Seems pretty open and shut to me. We’ve got multiple records of original blueprints that you stole, Danny will have ample proof of—”

“Beyond a reasonable doubt is a higher bar to clear than you think, I suspect, and—quite frankly—I would be able to invest more in my case than they could in theirs. You aren’t the first person to threaten to take me to court—”

“No surprise there. I’m not convinced you’re half as good at managing your business as you pretend.”

“—and I know the system. If I wanted to—and if you were somehow able to convince your parents of your delusions about me to the point that they were foolish enough to follow through—I could easily financially destroy you.”

“Do you seriously think any of this is helping your case right now?” With any luck, Tucker had figured out a way to record this. Vlad’s words wouldn’t be loud, but he was close enough to her that Jazz hoped her mic would pick him up.

“I’m not saying I would—”

“Except you would. Without hesitation or remorse.”

“Jasmine, please. I’m merely pointing out that doing something so drastic would be a mistake.”

“And that doesn’t sound like a threat to your ears? You’re further gone than I’d thought.”

“None of this is a threat,” Vlad said, his voice flattening into something more of tried patience than anything else. “Now are you going to keep making baseless accusations or are you going to eat your breakfast?”

“Let him think he won for now,” Tucker’s voice whispered into her ear. “Maybe we’ll get lucky and he won’t figure out what you did.”

Jazz wasn’t about to bet on that, but she swallowed back her protests nonetheless. Baseless accusations, my foot. More likely than not, Vlad was betting that she’d figured out some way to record their conversations and was trying to appear all nice and sane instead of showing his true colours.

This was not paranoia.

Not when Vlad was involved.

Jazz held her glare for a beat longer before moving away from the computer console and picking up the plate Vlad had left for her. The food looked like it had come straight out of a restaurant—not something she’d put past him, frankly—and smelled heavenly. The plate was surprisingly warm in her hands, so she knew the omelet wouldn’t have gone cold in the meantime, but— “How do I know this isn’t drugged?”

“You would have known if you’d come to the kitchen when I’d made it instead of sneaking back to my lab to try to sabotage my search and rescue efforts,” Vlad said dryly, “but if you prefer, I can eat a few bites of that one or you can make your own.”

Jazz scowled. “Let’s just go back to the kitchen.”

She might not have done any good, but she’d tried. If she could at least keep her eyes on this Vlad, even if she couldn’t track his clones, hopefully she’d have done enough to help Danny.

-|-

Danny’s return was almost as unexpected as his leaving.

Alicia had coaxed Maddie into baking cookies—not that it had taken much coaxing, even after Maddie had realized Alicia’s pointed suggestions were more to ground her sister than to give her nephew something sweet to eat. Still, being otherwise distracted, she’d yelped when she’d turned to grab a bit more flour and saw her son standing by the fridge, watching her in silence. Maddie took some small measure of comfort in seeing her sister pointedly relax and roll her shoulders; Alicia had been just as startled by Danny’s appearance, whatever she might pretend.

If acceptance of, well, all of this, meant there was a bit of a learning curve even though you pushed through it, it gave Maddie some hope that this might not all be too little, too late.

“They’ll be chocolate chip,” Maddie offered with a nod at the bowl.

“Cookies aren’t going to fix this, Mom.”

The words hurt more than she wanted to admit. “I’m not trying to fix everything with cookies, sweetie. I…. I know it won’t be that easy.” She was afraid to call this a peace offering, even if that was what it had become, for fear that he wouldn’t touch them once they were baked as a consequence. “They’re just cookies.”

Danny shrugged instead of answering and moved to sit down at the table by his aunt.

Maddie swallowed and plunged her hands back into the cool dough, churning in the chocolate chips as if making the perfect cookie were indeed the start of fixing this mess of her own making. “Was everything all right?” The cheerfulness in her voice sounded false even to her own ears. “Nothing unexpected?”

“Vlad hasn’t found us yet,” Danny said flatly. “Doesn’t mean he won’t, but Dani’s still safe for now. I didn’t find anything else around here when I looked, but that’s not a guarantee there isn’t something. Jazz is going to try to keep him at bay, though.”

Jazz.

Meaning he’d spoken to his sister.

He hadn’t done so earlier; she was sure of that. Maddie wasn’t convinced Jazz would have contemplated going to Vlad at all if she’d had an inkling of Danny’s true whereabouts.

Well.

That wasn’t quite true.

It was entirely too likely that Jazz would have pointed her in one direction and gone to confront Vlad on her own.

Maddie swallowed and picked up the ice cream scoop in preparation of placing perfectly sized balls of dough onto the cookie sheet. Alicia, aside from an interested hum that meant she was listening, was once again doing her best impression of a lump on a log. She might be talkative enough when it was just the two of them, but she was perfectly content to let Maddie tackle this conversation with her son on her own.

“Are you willing to tell me what happened between you and Vlad?”

Danny snorted. “What didn’t happen between us? He’s messed up. I’ve known that since we met at your reunion, and that first impression has not improved. It’s actually gotten worse. Look, whatever Jazz said, whatever you think, the truth is worse. I haven’t even told Jazz everything he’s done. I never figured out how to tell her. Even Sam and Tucker….” Danny shook his head, and Maddie’s heart sank.

Danny had stopped confiding in her and Jack, but until recently, she’d hoped he was at least confiding in his friends.

Having confirmation that he’d stopped before now—

No. She could be methodical about this and not jump to conclusions before she had all the facts. She’d been doing too much of that of late as it was. “Could you give me an example?” She kept working as she talked. Three evenly spaced balls of soon-to-be cookies stood proudly in a row across the short end of the tray. Maddie grabbed another spoonful of dough, rolled it between her palms, and started down the long side.

Danny glanced at Alicia this time before looking back at Maddie. “You’ve already seen the best example I can give you.”

The tracking device, he meant. Maddie grimaced. “I really don’t like the idea that you know Vlad’s technology from its parts.”

Danny blinked. “What?” The question sounded almost reflexive. Then, “Oh, right. Yeah. Not the first time I’ve seen one of those things. Probably won’t be the last. He chased us through time using one of those.”

He’d what?

“It’s just….” Danny leaned his head back to stare up at the ceiling. “You remember that time it was just the two of us and we ended up by Vlad’s cabin in the woods?” He looked over at her again and must have seen the recollection of the time on her face because he continued, “That wasn’t bad luck or happenstance. I mean, I would’ve hoped that the gift baskets gave him away, but in case they didn’t? He orchestrated the entire thing. And that stunt is on the tamer side of what Vlad’s pulled.”

“He said—” She broke off at Danny’s sharp look, but Alicia was right. She needed to know both sides of this. “Vlad knows you don’t like him.”

“So?”

“He said that’s deliberate on his part.”

Danny frowned. “What, him being a creep?”

The dough she was rolling squished flat in her hands, and she had to start again. “No,” she said carefully. “He said you wouldn’t accept him as a mentor, so he’s taken up the role of villain to do what he can to help you learn how to handle everything.”

Danny laughed.

It wasn’t the gentle, carefree laughter it should be.

It was bitter, broken. Hard.

“Even if that’s the line he’s going with,” Danny said when that horrible laughter had died away, “anyone with sense would look at what he’s done and say he’s gone too far.”

Maddie opened her mouth to ask what exactly Vlad had done that Danny meant—the tracking device was unnerving, admittedly, if that was all it was, but it may not be unwarranted if it was more along the lines of an emergency transmitter than a tracker—when Danny added, “Did he say anything about Dani?”

“He said she wasn’t stable and that he’d tried to help her but couldn’t.” Wasn’t that what Vlad had said? Danielle had been to his lab, Maddie could remember that much for sure, and if she was still unstable, then it must mean Vlad hadn’t been able to help her.

“That’s a rich way of saying trying to melt her down didn’t get rid of her.”

Even Alicia couldn’t hide her sharp intake of breath at that. What had poor Danielle gone through before Maddie had captured her? Maddie could imagine a number of setups that might serve to force a ghost to shift form, and it wasn’t a stretch to think that something could be modified to force destabilization, but Danielle wasn’t simply a ghost.

The amount of energy that would have been needed to destabilize her human cells to the point that it mimicked melting—

It wasn’t something that would be accidental.

Mistakes could be made, of course. She knew that. Still, it wasn’t like Vlad to mess up his math, misread the power meter, or get his wires crossed (literally or figuratively). Of the three of them, he’d never been exceptionally careless. She’d gone over enough of his calculations in the past to know that he took pride in being precise.

Maddie picked up the ball of dough that had fallen back into the bowl and placed it onto the cookie sheet without perfecting it first. “Are you—?”

Danny levelled her with an icy glare, and the words died in her throat. “I’m sure.”

“But there could have been—”

“Mom. I know what I saw.”

She swallowed, nodded, and put the last ball of cookie dough on this tray.

She had to listen to him, not argue with him.

Whether or not there was still some mistake or misunderstanding or misremembered exaggeration could be cleared up later; as it was, Danny’s beliefs about what had happened couldn’t be clearer.

It made Maddie feel sick.

“Can you tell me what exactly happened?”

He shook his head. “Not until I talk to Dani. I don’t know how much she wants to tell you, and that would get to a point where I can’t be vague anymore.”

Alicia moved to stand by Maddie long enough to grab the full cookie sheet, replace it with an empty one, and murmur, “Since he’s talking about Vlad, ask how it started.”

Alicia had the cookies in the oven and the timer set before Maddie found her voice again. “How did everything start with Vlad? You said at the reunion—” She broke off. Jazz had also told her this had begun at that reunion, and she was starting to think she and Jack should have never attended. It had been so nice to catch up, but if Vlad—

If Danny—

“If you knew he was the same as you,” she started again, “wouldn’t that spark friendship and not animosity? I’m not trying to criticize your choices, really, I’m not, but having a mentor—”

“He doesn’t want to be my mentor,” Danny said, the fierceness in his voice enough to stay her hands from picking up a fresh scoop of cookie dough. “I mean, yeah, sure, I guess he technically does, but what he really wants is to have Dad out of the way. You have no idea how many times he’s asked me to renounce Dad and accept him as my father. Which is why the fact that Dad’s in the Ghost Zone right now is bad. Aside from the fact that you guys aren’t the most popular people in the Ghost Zone, Vlad has ghosts on his payroll. Do you see where I’m going with this?”

She knew what he was implying. She’d have been able to figure that out even if Jazz hadn’t expressed similar worries. But— “Vlad said he doesn’t have the resources—”

“Vlad lies,” interrupted Danny sharply. “Can you just take a minute and get that through your thick skull?”

“Tone,” Alicia said quietly, and Danny huffed out a breath.

“He lies,” Danny repeated, anger and frustration still tightening his words. “He will tell you what he thinks you want to hear and blithely deny whatever accusation you throw at him. He will take a situation and find some way to spin it so he doesn’t come off looking as bad as he is. I might not know what he was like twenty years ago, but I know what he’s like now, and I know that way better than you do.”

“I don’t mean to say that you don’t, but—”

“But you don’t want to believe me because I’m just a kid? Because he was your friend and you don’t want to think he’s this big of a creep? Or because he’s always really nice to you?”

Maddie sighed. “I’m still trying to understand, that’s all. I know it might not seem like it right now, but I’m trying.”

He didn’t glower at her and spit out so try harder.

He didn’t say anything at all.

She kept making cookies, hoping he’d break the silence.

In the end, she broke first, unable to take the building pressure of everything that was unsaid between them. In as neutral a tone as she could manage, she asked, “If you take a step back and look at the situation objectively, do you see even the possibility of truth in Vlad’s words? That he’s fostered this dislike—”

“Hatred.”

“—loathing, then, in a misguided attempt to help?”

Danny stared at her for a beat and then drew an invisible line in the air at his knees. “This right here? Where the line would be if someone was actually trying that. With the floor being normal people who don’t do that. Vlad?” He drew another line as high above his head as he could reach without getting up from his chair. “And that’s a conservative estimate. I mean, I’m not saying I didn’t learn a lot of my powers on the fly. I did. But Vlad doesn’t get credit for that when I’d been doing that before I met him.”

“Even if—”

“Mom.” He could put so much weight into that word. “I can put this a different way for you, okay?”

She nodded, grateful that he was willing to try.

“You know what you did to Dani.”

Ice filled her chest, her entire being, and brought her to stillness.

Danny’s words weren’t accusatory this time. They weren’t lobbed at her with enough force to make her crack, nor were they diamond hard or sharper than her scalpels. There was no poison in them. No promise of retribution.

Instead, they were a simple statement of fact, spoken with as much gravitas as Danny saying he was going to have cereal for breakfast again.

That made this worse, somehow.

“You didn’t know until after. Vlad knew from the very beginning.” The edge had crept back into Danny’s voice, bitter and building to blistering. “Would you go back, do that all again, and say it was to help her?”

“He wouldn’t have—”

“He. Knew.”

Maddie did not need Alicia’s warning look to keep her silence.

She wasn’t sure her mouth could form any words right now even if she had an idea of what she wanted to say.

Vlad had said that Danielle had come to him for help, but he hadn’t said what sort of help he’d given her.

She hadn’t asked.

She hadn’t thought their definition of help would differ that much.

“Just—” Danny blew out a breath. “Even if you don’t believe me because you think he’s fooled me—when you’re the one he’s fooling, by the way—don’t trust everything he says. And don’t trust him with anything important anymore. Can you at least do that?”

Maddie nodded.

There was no other answer to give.

-|-

see more fics | next

[whysojiminimnida]

Can I just say that I love that you take non shits on here and aren't afraid to just say you 100% think that jikook are together. Like I get that people have to put qualifiers on their statements because we really don't know if we're right (and I'm sure there are doubts you have too cause we don't know for certain) but you're like fuck that it's right there that they're boning lol.

Thanks for not letting antis bully you into not admitting what we're all seeing with out two eyes

Awww thanks for making my whole day, super nice anon!

It might be an age thing (I’m Gen X and too old to care) or other factors but honestly I don’t get how people with working eyeballs and brains wanna yell “we don’t knowwwww stop seXualiZing themmmm”. I don’t see how Jiminie wa Jungkookie could make it clearer and still live where they do with the jobs they have. We don’t have to ship them when they’re feeling each other up and leaving marks in front of our salad and then posting selfies like

I mean really y’all in any heterosexual pairing the world would just be like “yep they boning” because they are adults and grown people do stuff like that.

The only reason - literally the ONLY reason - the Jeon-Parks piss people off is because they are both men in a romantic sexual gay gay gay relationship that is not with the freaked out Y/N fan who’s gonna die mad about it.

And yes I get that I might be seen as guilty of stereotyping behaviors at times - like this dainty lovely super gay Koo right here

But that is not a straight man. That might be a bi man or a pan man or not a man but that is not a straight man. Neither is this

The Jeon-Parks have spent years yelling into a wind tunnel and the people who aren’t listening are one of three things: virgins, homophobic or mad it’s not them. And mostly if they’re mad they’re mad at Jimin which: let’s talk stereotypes.

They see Jimin as smaller and feminine which is what they want to be and/or are mad that they’re maybe not that idk? and Kookie as a big ass manly man which he is but… that’s the line for me. I will tell the world that my queer idols are queer as hell kinky af look pretty vers from here and I’m happy to see it but I will not speculate on what goes on beyond that. I had to come back here and edit for content ffs.

Masc or femme third person perception has zero do to with first person reality or what goes where. Get a spectrometer and let people fucking live.

Those are some masculine powerful fucking legs though.

All that TL;DR to say YEP THEY DO and it is normal and healthy to have sexy gay sex in a long term adult gay relationship and there is nothing for them to hide or be ashamed of. If other people wanna be upset by that, well, tough shit I guess because guess what they’re probably gonna keep doing it. And good for them good for them.

Normalize healthy adult sex regardless of gender or orientation. It’s okay to enjoy it. I assure you the Jeon-Parks do.

[sweeethinny]

Come and sit a while with me

It's been a year since I started all of this, that I wrote a fanfic to celebrate Ginny's birthday, and here I am, posting once again, keeping the tradition <3

This story will deal with grief, suicidal thoughts, but it has a happy ending, I swear

Happy birthday, Ginny.

AO3 | FF. NET | SIYE

----------

It was a normal afternoon at the Potters' house, Ginny wasn't working today and the kids were on vacation, James had gone out with friends, Lily was at the pool with her friends, and she and Albus were enjoying their free time before they had to get ready to go out to dinner and celebrate Ginny's birthday, so they lay on the sofa in the living room, both of them with moisturizing masks on their faces and hair, and the TV on.

The perfect day for her, if she was sincere.

"Mom," Albus muttered, looking at her curiously. "When did you know you loved dad?"

''I always loved your dad.''

''No… when did you know you really love him?'' Albus looked at her, his hair in a bun and his green eyes staring at her in the same way he had since he was born, as if he wanted to know the whole truth, and not half lies. "I mean, when did you look at him and realize he wasn't just another one?"

''Let me see…'' Ginny changed the channel when the movie ended, trying not to smile at the memory. ''I guess I never thought he was just another one, but there was a specific day when I was sure he was the one I wanted to marry…''

August 11, 1998

Ginny loved birthdays, it was simply her favorite date, along with Christmas.

How could anyone not be happy on the day that was entirely and unique to them? Everything revolved around her: the cake, the celebration, the attention, everything. It was her day, the day that Ginny didn't share with anyone, and even though she sometimes felt a bit of a bitch about it, she was glad none of her brothers were born on the same day as her..

She didn't want to have to share this too.

But today wasn't that happy day. Today wasn't sunny and as much as Molly had become more involved in her garden, Ginny's favorite flowers hadn't bloomed in time, as if they knew she was in mourning.

It was the first time that someone would be missing at the party.

Even Charlie called her over the Floo so everyone could sing together and celebrate, but today, it would be eight Weasleys for the first time, not nine. And Ginny didn't know how to deal with that, with that pain that seemed to consume her in every way, and that made her close the bedroom curtains and hide under the covers because she was exhausted.

Exhausted from fighting. Of having to be strong. Not being able to afford the privilege of just crying and admitting it hurt. It hurt a lot. At times it seemed almost impossible to bear. Ginny wanted for the first time in a long while, someone to take over things for her, letting her sleep and cry freely, without judgment, without trying to fix what was broken.

She didn't want a solution.

But she couldn't do that, Molly was doing her best to make this date happy, so that Ginny would realize that there was reason to celebrate, that Fred wouldn't want her to spend all day in her room. She also thought this was unfair, because Fred didn't have to bury one of them, Fred didn't have to go through grief, he never faced that pain, so what would he know?

Ginny knew. She knew what it was like to want to die every day since he died, she was the one who felt this agonizing loneliness that seemed to get bigger every day, she was the one who lay in bed at night and thought she could go crazy at any time because it hurt so much and it was so exhausting.

"May I come in?" A knock on her door made her jump as she tried to hide her dark circles with some of the makeup she had on, and his voice made her curse herself for still being in her pajamas.

''Yes.'' She tried to hide her nervousness because things were still a little awkward between her and Harry, even though she had kissed him a few days after the war ended, on the sofa in the living room in the middle of the night, when her room looked very cold and lonely, and Harry looked so cute wearing plaid pajamas and with his hair cut.

He clearly blamed himself for Fred's death, and Ginny still hadn't gotten over all the latest events: the Carrows' tortures, the war, the deaths, Fred…

Ginny had certain doubts, even though she didn't like to think about it, that they would last.

Maybe they were that couple that everyone looks at and says 'what if life had been different with these two?', figuring they could be something more if there hadn't been so much destruction in their midst.

"Happy birthday." Harry still looked tired, he hadn't regained his weight, but he was already showing signs of improvement, which was good. Ginny was happy to see him look good.

He was wearing the outfit she helped him buy for his birthday when they, Ron and Mione went for a walk in Muggle London. A light blue T-shirt, dark jeans, and black sneakers. A simple outfit, no big deal, but one that seemed to make him look even more handsome, if that was even possible.

The woman who would marry him would be very lucky, Ginny thought.

''Brought it for you.'' She hadn't even noticed that he had his hands behind his back, looking nervous as he showed her a bouquet of honeysuckle, tied with a red satin bow, and a cream-colored card pinned there with his name signed. "I know they're your favorites, and I thought you'd like it." He smiled awkwardly. "I noticed yours didn't bloom this year, and I thought you might want to continue the tradition."

"You didn't have to worry about that." Ginny had to swallow hard to keep from crying in front of him, even though there wasn't a reason to.

"Of course I did, it's your birthday, I want to see you happy." Harry shrugged, his cheeks flushing as if he'd been out in the sun for hours on end. He was so cute, Ginny wished she didn't like him so much, because that way, when their imminent separation came, it wouldn't hurt so much. ''How is your day? I don't want to spoil the surprise, but I think your mom made your favorite cake.''

"It's okay, as far as possible," she shrugged. "Mom is trying to keep me away from the kitchen and all the preparation, so I decided to stay in the bedroom."

''Are you going to be here until party time?'' She thought Harry would start the same speech Hermione gave her when she said she was going to do it, which was the same as Bill and his father: Fred wouldn't like it. Besides, you need to celebrate that you're alive, enjoy life…

Ginny was ready to fight with him, just as she had with the three of them.

"Is there a problem?" Ginny crossed her arms, careful not to crush the flowers.

Harry was bigger than her, but that wouldn't stop her from kicking him out if necessary.

''No. Want company?" Harry looked sincere though. "We can assemble that puzzle you bought, remember?"

''Do you want to stay here? Assembling a puzzle?' Ginny followed Harry as he walked around her room as if the surroundings had been familiar to him for years already, looking for the box on her shelves, which was a total mess of old books, photos and other stuff.

"Of course, it's your day, we'll do whatever you want, ma'am."

August 11, 2021

''How did you know you loved him? Because he wants to assemble a puzzle with you?" Albus asked, no longer paying attention to the TV.

''No and yes. See, unlike everyone else that day, your dad respected my grief. He didn't try to make me go outside, see the bright side of things, nothing. He just stayed there with me, accepting that on that day, I wanted to stay inside my room, putting together a puzzle… He paid attention to the flowers I liked, in the cake." Ginny smiled. "That dawn, after everyone else went to sleep, I finally managed to cry, and son, it's a pain I can't put into words." She swallowed, not wanting to get emotional. ''Over time it gets a little easier, but that year, it was a pain that seemed to tear my chest apart. And do you know what your dad did? He sat with me, hugged me, and listened to me cry for an hour, not saying anything, just standing there by my side.''

The memory was no longer as painful as it had been, and Ginny allowed herself to smile as the image of Harry lying beside her on the bed, his arms around her waist, came back to her mind.

"He never tried to save me, he just stayed there with me, helping me when I needed it, and that was the most important thing."

"He saved you in the chamber," Albus remembered, a mischievous smile on his lips that reminded her of Fred when he was younger. Ginny didn't even know it was possible, but it was always the image that came to her mind when she saw Albus smile like that.

"It was a different situation." She shrugged.

"Did you doubt you would marry him after that day?"

"Never again." And it was true. ''Since that morning, when I woke up and he was still sleeping with me after I cried and sobbed things I don't even remember anymore, I knew he was the one I would marry.'' Ginny touched the ring that was already on her finger for over twenty years now, still smiling like a fool as she remembers the marriage proposal and the marriage itself.

"And why weren't you sure you'd be with him before that?"

''It's not that I wasn't sure, it's just that when you go through something really bad, everything around you seems to fall apart together, it's like nothing else has a solution and you are bound to fail whatever you try. It's a horrible feeling, I hope you never feel that.'' Ginny shifted on the couch to give him a closer look. ''Why this now?''

"Just curiosity." Albus smiled, his cheeks a little flushed. "Happy birthday again, Mom, I love you so much." He kissed her forehead, as she usually did.

''I love you too, my love.''

[whentheynameyoujoy]

Yup, Sure Was a Finale

I had an epiphany. The reason why I never re-watched the final two parts of Sozin’s Comet even though I’ve popped in episodes at random many times over the years isn’t that I can’t bear the sadness of seeing one of the best, most engaging narratives out there come to an end.

It’s simply that the finale isn’t all that good.

Some honorable mentions of what was enjoyable.

(+) This

Just this.

(+) The Church of Zutara has another convert

“Are you sure they don’t get together?” Hubster, 2020

(+) The tragedy of Azula

And the fact that it’s acknowledged as such. I hope Zuko will do his best to get her help and have a relationship with her…

(+) Sokka being a big bro

And the whole airship sequence in general. It’s wonderfully paced and plotted, with moments of humor, real stakes, Toph being both badass and a scared crying kid, Sokka strategizing and protecting, Suki saving the day, and non-benders being instrumental in thwarting the bad guy firebender’s plans. Would be shame if Bryke never portrayed them this capable ever again…

And now for the main course.

(-) Blink and its over

The wrap-up feels too quick (hashtag Needs More ROtK-style False Endings). A part of this is due to how fast the story goes from the thick of the action to hastily tying up a bunch of loose ends, but the larger issue is how Book 3’s uneven pacing comes home to roost. After spending half a season on filler episodes that at best subtly flesh out established characters while dancing around a huge lionturtle-shaped hole, and at worst contradict the theme of “no one is born bad” with “you’re a hot mess because your great-grandfathers didn’t get along too well”, the frantic “go go go” rush of the second half screeches to a halt with “they won and everyone was happy because now the right people have power and it will be all good from now on yup nothing more to deal with baiiiii”.

Yes, I know, it’s a kids’ show. But goddamn, this particular kids’ show has proven so many times it can do better than the expected tropiness. Showing the characters in their roles as builders of a new world was the least that could have been done.

Oh well!

(-) Ursa

We’ll never know. There will never be a story that delves into this. Yup. Shall forever remain but an intriguing mystery. Is good, though. Mystery is better than a story where Ursa shares her son’s penchant for forgetfulness. Imagine how embarrassing that would be. Speaking of which…

(-) What does Mai see in this jerkbender?

Look, I like to harp a lot on the mess of inconsistent writing that’s Mai but let’s unpack this scene from her perspective, shall we?

Zuko forgot about her! It totally slipped his mind that the one person who prioritized the safety of his dumb ass was rotting in the worst prison in the Fire Nation—because of him! And she was rotting there long enough after the final Agni Kai for the news of Zuko’s upcoming coronation to spread and her uncle to feel sufficiently secure to release her. But then the coronation scene is attended by every single member of Gaang & Friends that was imprisoned?

So what this tells me is that either a) the invasion force had the ability to break themselves out the whole time and for some reason decided not to exercise it until after the war was over, b) Zuko forgot about them as well and no one thought to remind him there were prisons full of POWs until Mai arrived, or, and that’s even better, c) Zuko took care to free every single resistance fighter while making sure Mai would be the one to stay behind bars.

Never thought I’d say this but Mai? Honey? You deserve so much better.

(-) “What does Katara want?”

Asked no one in the writers’ room ever, apparently.

This is not so much anti Cataang as anti romance stories that pay attention to the needs, opinions, and wants of only one partner in general. Over the previous 60 episodes, Katara actively expressed romantic interest in Aang exactly, wait for it,

Once.

And it got retconned out of relevance by the following two interactions where the possibility of a romantic relationship came up, making the Headband dance pretty easy to reclassify as just one of those examples where Aang “teaches” Katara to have fun (as if one of the main obstacles to her having fun wasn’t him constantly fooling around and offloading his duties). And because the writers not only didn’t succeed in portraying Katara’s internal state of mind, but also failed to root her reluctance to pursue a relationship in outside circumstances that could change, her sudden state of unconfused once Aang steps into the spotlight has a single canonical explanation that as much as approaches coherency.

The fact is, though, that trying to interpret canon Cataang from a Watsonian perspective is an exercise in foolishness. Because there is no Watsonian justification for the ship and never has been. Bryke simply conceived of Katara as nothing but a tropey prize for Aang, never saw her as anything beyond that, and were perfectly happy to go on and immortalize her as a passive broodmare for the rest of her life.

And I fully intend to die mad about it.

(-) Iroh dips

OK, it’s been long apparent that the show doesn’t intend to do anything about Iroh’s complicity in AzulOzai’s regime in any meaningful way, and that his sole motivation for doing anything whatsoever is Zuko whom he views as a replacement son which is supposed to be good for some reason. But the finale has him abandon even that, and instead turns him full-on YOLO, idgaf anymore. It really throws Iroh’s supposed love for Zuko into doubt when his last act in the entire show is to take a half-educated 16-year old with no political savvy or an heir to secure a dynastic continuity and plomp him on the throne of a war-mongering imperialist regime where the entirety of the militarist and ruling class is guaranteed to fight him tooth and nail for power.

(I sure hope Mai’s ready to start popping out babies by tea-time otherwise the whole country is fukd in about a week)

Christ, how hard would it be to have Iroh keep the throne warm for a few years while Zuko is getting ready to succeed him? Not only would it make the whole FN reformation bit quite likelier to occur, it would require Iroh’s hedonistic ass to actually sacrifice something for once. And not having Zuko ascend to power, instead spending some time bettering and educating himself first, would be a wonderful message that no matter what you endured and overcame, you never stop growing. A kids’ show, remember?

(-) The conquering of Ba Sing Se

Gee, I feel so blessed to have my attention diverted from battlefields which actually matter to an old dude vanity project I would have been perfectly happy to assume resolved itself off-screen.

The White Lotus in general just bugs me. I was fine with the individual characters and their overall passivity when they were portrayed as lone dissenters living under circumstances where it wasn’t really possible for any single person to mount a meaningful resistance. But as members of a far-reaching shadowy organization that’s left the real fight to a bunch of kids for 59 episodes straight and didn’t turn up until a perfect opportunity presented itself to take control of the largest city in the world and bask in the spotlight?

Yeah, no.

Similarly to the lionturtle-ex-machina, the White Lotus represents a huge missed opportunity for a season-long storytelling. Here’s just a brief list of what they could have been doing throughout Book 3:

orchestrating a Fire Nation uprising;

gathering those directly persecuted by AzulOzai’s regime to help Zuko keep his hold on power once he’s crowned;

establishing themselves as a viable alternative to Ozai;

sabotaging Fire Nation’s war efforts from the inside;

countering Fire Nation propaganda (Asha Greyjoy’s pinecones, anyone?);

running a supply network to alleviate the suffering of Earth Kingdom citizens.

Instead, they sit on their asses until the time comes to claim personal glory.

You know what, good on Bryke for making me conclude that in comparison, the Freedom Fighters were perfectly unproblematic, actually.

(-) Fire Lord Dead-by-Dawn

Yes, a kids’ show, I know! But ffs, this is the same kids’ show that came up with Long Feng and portrayed courtly intrigue, kingly puppets, secret police, spy networks, and information wars. Was it really too much of me to expect something other than “enlightened despot solves everything”? Especially if said enlightened despot has persisting anger issues, no personal support system, no base of followers, and no political experience whatsoever?

If Zuko’s actually serious about regaining the Fire Nation’s honor (i.e. by dismantling the country’s military machine, decolonizing the Earth Kingdom, paying reparations to everyone and their lemur, and funding any and all cultural restoration projects Aang and the SWT come up with), then there is no way, no way in the universe that he doesn’t face a civil war, deposing, and execution within a month.

One reason why his future as a Fire Lord seems rather bleak is that little’s been shown about the actual subjects of AzulOzai’s regime. While we get a vague reassurance that “no Toph, they’re not born bad” (le shockings), they largely remain a voiceless uniform mass of brainwashed clapping seals. What is their view on the Fire Nation’s crimes? Do they associate their condition with their country’s war-mongering? How will they react when Zuko starts dismantling the country piece by piece to rebuild it, bringing it to economic ruin? What will they do when noble Ozai loyalists come out of the woodwork and begin rounding them up under the banner of “Make the Fire Nation Great Again?”

I have no idea, and Zuko doesn’t either because he’s unironically more qualified to rule the Earth Kingdom than his own people.

You know what would have been better? Fire Lord Iroh, White Lotus pulling the strings to maintain the regime, and Crown Prince/People’s Champion Zuko travelling the Fire Nation with Aang and an army of tutors to promote the new boss, only to realize that absolute monarchy is kinda crap for the people he’s one day supposed to rule and gaining their support by ceding some power to them.

I’d laser holes into my TV due to how much I’d enjoy watching that.

(-) All hail Avatar Rock

Literally and metaphorically. Aang doesn’t sacrifice anything, gets everything, and the clever solution of going about getting said everything is handed to him on a silver platter, requiring no active participation on his part whatsoever.

He doesn’t work to unblock his chakras, spiritually or physically.

He only speaks to his past lives to get a pat on the back and a bow-tied solution he could mindlessly follow.

Energy-bending doesn’t require any sacrifice from him, leaves no lasting marks, and only serves for the narrative to praise him as the rare individual that’s unbendable and thus so very very special.

The most infuriating thing is, however, that Aang is clearly shown as being able to beat Ozai without either the Avatar state, or energy-bending.

And he chooses not to. From this moment on, Aang no longer fights to save the world. He fights to preserve his beliefs, going directly against the instructions of his past lives and effectively reneging on his duties as the Avatar.

Again.

It’s not like you can’t portray Aang’s faithfulness to his spiritual beliefs as the key to beating Ozai and saving the world. But that’s not what the show did. There is no link between Aang sparing Ozai and securing a better future, quite to the contrary—Ozai’s survival ends up being a massive problem for the continuation of Zuko’s rule, and consequently a threat to the world at large. His survival benefits Aang and no one else.

Aang’s spiritual purity and his status as a savior of the world are allowed to coexist only due to a deliberate stroke of a writer’s pen.

And I hate it.

Welp, nothing to do about it now except to bury myself up to my tits in fix-it fics I guess.

[incorrect-lalins-curse]

Ok this has probably been thought of before but: the gang plays among us. Bonus points if there is irony (vis a vis cody being imposter Felix dying first (I'm sorry), etc.).

NO WAIT I ACTUALLY LOVE THIS OK

David

-hates being the impostor because he's not very good at lying on the spot

-"guys i got stuck in the vent how do i get out :("

-whenever his fellow impostor is about to get caught, he always does his best to defend them, often accidentally outing himself in the process. he refuses to throw his fellow impostor under the bus for any reason.

-he never sabotages unless he's a ghost. he forgets the button is there

-he's a really good crewmate though. he always stays focused on his tasks, and is great at sniffing out who the impostor is.

-most of the time his accusations will be based on purely gut instinct with little to no solid evidence, but he ends up being right 75% of the time so everyone else just goes with it

-it's for this reason that he usually dies first, especially when felix is the impostor, so that the crewmates will lose their best detective. that, and he makes himself a really easy target by never getting suspicious when people follow him.

-he always continues to do his tasks when he's a ghost.

-always apologizes to the people he kills as the impostor in the lobby once the game ends

-go-to skin is yellow with the astronaut helmet, he also has the alien pet

Felix

-LOVES being the impostor, but is not especially good at it because of his temper. he just enjoys messing with his friends.

-always goes for david or eric first

-not afraid to throw his fellow impostor under the bus to save his own hide

-surprisingly good at lying and gaslighting anyone who sees him being sus

-his favorite impostor teammate is noemi, because they both have the same desire to cause endless problems for their friends.

-will often follow people around or act suspicious even when he's a crewmate just to spread chaos

-people usually suspect him of being impostor first, and he gets wrongfully voted out a lot

-when this happens he refuses to finish his tasks

-'felix is sus' 'no YOU'RE sus fuck off'

-will often refuse to vote until the last second just to force everyone to wait the whole time

-constantly screams at people in the lobby

-if felix and eric are impostors together, felix will call a meeting and out both of them because he hates teaming up with eric and knows there's no way they'll win.

-go-to skin is black with the knife hat. if he joins a game of strangers and someone else has claimed the black and purple skins, he'll leave and find another game. he refuses to play as any other color.

Tobi

-surprisingly good as the impostor. he exudes trustworthy energy and is generally calm and reasonable during discussions, so he tends to always be one of the last suspects.

-people tend to follow him since he seems to know what he's doing, and that's how he gets them

-but once he wins as impostor? he taunts people in the lobby to hell and back. lightheartedly, of course, he just loves to bask in his victory.

-he's usually the host because he's the only one who understands all the settings and who can actually be trusted to not fuck with the character speed. he likes to randomly add a ton of tasks sometimes though, just to be difficult.

-he'll always do his best to defend his fellow impostor, but once they're proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt he'll vote them off.

-the only real giveaway for him being the impostor is if david isn't one of the first to die.

-after he finishes all of his tasks, he'll usually end up following david around.

-does his best to contribute to discussions, but he always seems to be on the exact opposite side of the ship from where all the action is, so he doesn't usually have much to add.

-tends to prioritize finishing tasks over sniffing out impostors, so if he sees someone kill in front of him he'll always finish whatever task he's on before reporting. this is problematic if someone else walks in and sees him.

-he usually ends up just trying to mediate and keep the discussion focused. he's the voice of reason.

-"Guys, stop randomly accusing people. Did anyone actually see anything suspicious?"

-if him and cody are impostors together, it's pretty much a guaranteed win for them. they're the ultimate impostor duo.

-go-to skin is dark green with wolf ears. he also has the blue dog pet.

Cody

-the first time he was impostor, he cried.

-*calls a meeting* "I'm the impostor and I don't want to be"

-it took him forever to get used to the game. when he first started out he'd get stuck on corners and get lost constantly, and it typically led to him being a very easy target for the impostors/being labelled as sus by the crewmates due to his aimless wandering

-but as time went on and he got used to the game, he slowly developed a strategy and became the best impostor out of all of them

-as an impostor, he is DIABOLICAL. i'm talking faking medbay scans, sabotaging left and right, organizing double kills, the whole nine yards. no sleazy impostor play is too low for him. it's horrifying.

-his only weakness as an impostor is that he always feels really bad when he kills someone who has a pet

-he also has somewhat spotty wifi connection in his apartment, so sometimes his game will freeze at the worst possible times, like when he's standing over a body

-he almost never talks during discussions, unless he was the one who found the body. he just follows everyone else's lead. this is another reason why no one ever suspects him, they just straight up forget he's there.

-as a crewmate, he does his best to keep to himself. if he enters a room to do a task and someone else is in there, he'll leave and come back later. it's thanks to this that he's usually among the last to die.

-he's the kind of player to call meetings just to see how many people are dead/yell at people to stop following him

-he is horrible at the emptying garbage task on the airship specifically. it infuriates him. yes i'm projecting

-always goes to watch the security feed once he finishes his tasks

-when he's a ghost, he tends to ignore his unfinished tasks in favor of following the person who killed him around to see what they do.

-his favorite impostor teammate is tobi. he works well with felix too, as well as eric. but that's only because eric is such a loud and obnoxious impostor that he's inadvertently the perfect distraction while cody does all the real work.

-his go-to skin is cyan with the devil horns, and he has the hamster ball pet. he named it hamtaro. he loves it.

Eric

-was allowed to host a game exactly once because he cranked the player speed up to max and everyone hated it

-a very trigger-happy impostor. he'll usually kill someone the second his cooldown runs out, which often results in him getting caught in the act.

-does a stack kill every chance he gets

-throws baseless accusations every which way, regardless of whether he's the impostor or not

-sometimes he'll jokingly out himself as an impostor even when he's not just to confuse people, but it usually ends in him actually getting voted out

-overall, an agent of chaos. it's hard for me to write hcs for him because the way he plays the game varies entirely on how chaotic he's feeling at any given moment.

-on rare occassions when he decides to actually try and not just mess around, he's a scarily good impostor. he can be a master of manipulation when he wants to be, and he has a lot more tricks up his sleeve than he usually lets on.

-often gets voted out or killed early on just for being annoying

-likes to run laps around the lobby

-tries to actually make friends with the people he meets in online games and plugs his youtube channel every chance he gets

-sometimes streams among us on his yt when he plays with the rest of the gang

-go-to skin is blue with the brain slug hat, because 'it kinda looks like a frog'

María

-she really doesn't like being the impostor. it stresses her out a lot and makes her feel kind of guilty.

-also she's just. not very good at it. she accidentally presses the vent/kill buttons a lot when she's meaning to press something else.

-she talks a LOT as a crewmate, but hardly talks at all as an impostor. it's a major giveaway.

-she texts really fast and turned off autocorrect on her phone, so when she sees someone kill, reports the body, and tries to say who did it, it takes her a couple tries to actually send a coherent message, and a lot of the time the impostor accuses her before she can accuse them.

'ITBWHAHDBFDHFY'

'IT WHAS HFIDY'

'CDOY'

'FFS'

'C O D Y'

-she gets lost a lot. despite how much she plays, she can never seem to remember where everything is.

-she's always one of the first to vote. much like david, she likes to throw out baseless accusations, but the only difference is that hers are usually wrong

-the CEO of 'if ____ isn't impostor, vote me next'

-likes to track down one person who she's relatively sure is innocent, and stick to their side like glue

-she also does this when she's an impostor. she picks one crewmate to spare and stick with so they'll think she's innocent and defend her during meetings.

-go-to skin is orange, and she tends to alternate between the angel halo hat, the pumpkin hat, and the flowerpot hat.

Noemí

-tends to take the game VEEERY seriously, and will sometimes give her friends (particularly cody) the silent treatment at school if they 'betray' her in-game

-constantly bugs cody in class to teach her his strategies. he just laughs at her.

-she tries really hard to be sneaky as an impostor and be as manipulative as felix and cody can be, but she tends to raise her voice when she lies and it's a dead giveaway.

-she sabotages as much as she possibly can, and overall spends more time just creating chaos than she does actually killing.

-she's not very good at defending herself, whether she's innocent or not. her defense usually boils down to "so-and-so's sus for saying i'm sus"

-"i was doing tasks!" "okay, what tasks?" "uh-"

-much like tobi and cody, she and felix are a terrifying impostor duo, but their approach is more 'mass murder' than 'manipulation and complex strategy'

-she doesn't like being crewmate, she thinks it's boring and she tends to ignore the tasks she doesn't want to do since, in her mind, there's no way they'll be able to win that way anyway.

-so she usually just wanders around and hangs out in security or admin to sus out the impostor.

-go-to skin is purple with the bat wings hat

Lucía

-hardly ever plays, and when she does she's not very good purely due to inexperience

-everyone tends to go easy on her because of this and she hates it

-really good at pointing out holes in people's alibis

-also surprisingly good at deflecting suspicion away from her

-has the potential to be a fantastic impostor, on par with cody and tobi, but doesn't have the controls down yet

-the type of crewmate to call a meeting just to say she's done with her tasks

-always finishes her tasks when she's a ghost. always.

-go-to skin is white with the pompadour hat because she thinks it's funny

Selena

-doesn't take the game seriously AT ALL

-just fucks around. all the time. never does tasks or kills anyone as the impostor, just walks around the ship following ppl around and doing fuck all

-"selena, what are you doing?" "im having a dance battle with eric in medbay, leave me alone"

-she does still contribute to discussions though. she bases her accusations on super petty things like 'eric is dark blue and i don't like that color' or 'david voted for me last round' but the funny thing is that she's usually right.

-much like eric, gets voted off early on just for being annoying. the two of them just hang out in the ghost chat and laugh at everyone screaming at each other during discussions.

-go-to skin is pink, and she switches between the witch hat and the flower headband

[wefoundloveunderthelight]

A Story in the Life of Killian Jones and Emma Swan by GleefullyCaptainSwan Chapter 2/2

Read on AO3: | Part 1 | Part 2

Or on FF

Stacy's Tortured Crew: @teamhook @kmomof4 @stahlop @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @itsfabianadocarmo @mariakov81 @qualitycoffeethings @zaharadessert @jrob64 @jonesfandomfanatic @natascha-ronin @tiganasummertree @xarandomdreamx @therooksshiningknight @batana54 @superchocovian @onceratheart18 @ultraluckycatnd @snowbellewells @karlyfr13s @the-darkdragonfly @xsajx @deckerstarblanche

Part 2:

Emma turned toward him, standing in front of his hotel room, an anxious look on her face. “I need to talk to you.”

“Are you crazy? What if Neal sees you?” He pushed open the door to his room and ushered the woman quickly inside.

“I’m sorry, I know this is insane, I shouldn’t be here.”

“You’re right you shouldn’t be. Why are you here?”

The boy whined loudly in her arms. “I’m sorry, is there somewhere I can I lay him down, he hasn’t had his afternoon nap.” Without waiting for a response, she laid her son on the bed, talking to him quietly as she tucked the covers over his shoulders. He could barely take his eyes off her, watching as she ran her fingers through the boy’s hair.

She looked up at him and everything in his body threatened to shut down. “Emma, you really shouldn’t be here.”

“I’ve been thinking…” She sighed. “My parents didn’t want me.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“My parent’s they abandoned me when I was a baby, I spent a lot of years in foster care, but no one ever really wanted me. When I was old enough I emancipated, moved out on my own. I’ve never really been afraid of being alone, of not being wanted…but Henry…” She looked at her son, sleeping in the bed. “I don’t want Henry to ever feel like his father abandoned him.”

“I already told you, lass, I’m not here to ruin your life. I most certainly have no intention of hurting your child’s chances either. I have no plans to reveal your secret to Neal. I’m not that kind of man.”

“I believe that, and that’s part of the reason I’m here.” She shook her head. “He deserves to know his father. His real father.”

“But that would mean…” He stepped away from her.

“It would mean that I need to talk to Neal.” She replied softly. “I know.”

“You can’t do that. It would destroy him.” A sick feeling was growing in his stomach. Neal would never forgive either of them.

“I can’t live with this guilt; I get a sick feeling in my stomach every time he looks at me.” Killian chuckled at the similarity of their feelings. “I didn’t do any of this to hurt him, I thought I was protecting him and Henry, but I have lied to him, and he deserves to know the truth.”

“You’re getting married tomorrow.”

“I’m perfectly aware of that.” She said quietly. “But I can’t walk down that aisle and promise myself to be faithful and true to him if I don’t tell him the truth first.”

“So, you’re just going to tell him the truth, and then what? You walk down the aisle, and everyone is happy?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t get that far in my thought process.” She laughed.

He watched the woman from his place in the room. He was still angry at her, even though he knew she had no way of finding him anymore than he did her after they separated that night. Neither knew the other’s name, they had no way of contacting each other. But he was still angry as he looked over at the young boy asleep in his bed. He had a son and he had already missed so much of his life.

Killian had been up all night on the balcony thinking about his life, the things he had screwed up, things he had done right. Killian had spent every moment thinking only about himself, making his mark on the world, he never once stopped to think about anyone else. Sure, he had his brother, and he would do anything for Liam or even Robin and Neal, but when it came down to it, he only ever took care of himself.

But now…knowing that he had a son, suddenly things felt different. It was like the entire game had changed.

“He has my eyes.” He finally responded. “But he has your nose.”

She laughed, and when he looked up he realized she had tears in her eyes. “Sometimes when he’s sleeping, he does that thing with his jaw that you do.”

“Pardon me?”

“He clenches a bit when he’s sleeping. I remembered you doing that too…” She stared off in the distance. “That night.”

“You watched me sleep?” His brow rose when she turned to look at him.

“A bit. I had a lot on my mind. Plus, you’re kind of easy on the eyes.” He chuckled softly. “Pretty sure he got his attitude from you, that was apparent last night.”

“Are you saying I had an attitude?”

“Actually, you were kind of a dick, but it was warranted, I’m sure it was a shock last night.”

They each smiled and Killian realized how easy it was to fall into a conversation with her, the back and forth, give and take, the same reason he felt drawn to her the night at the bar. He stepped forward and offered her his hand. “Hi, I’m Killian Jones.”

She shook her head with a gentle laugh and an unsure look on her face before shaking her hand with his. “Emma Swan.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Emma.” He said with a nod.

“Can you ever forgive me?” She asked, biting her lip.

“There’s nothing to forgive, love.”

“I know this is going to be awkward and uncomfortable, and hell I have no idea how Neal is going to react, but I want you to get to know him. I want that for Henry. And for you.” Her eyes shimmered with wet tears. “It’s not your fault you didn’t know and if you had, I have a feeling that things might have turned out differently.”

“I probably would have done something ridiculously stupid.” He mumbled.

She laughed, “I want you to know something…about that night.”

“Love, there’s no need to…”

She cut him off. “Yes there is. Neal and I had been dating, not exclusively, but we had been dating for about three months when I went to the conference. He had asked me to move in with him and I wasn’t ready for a commitment like that.” He leaned back against the wall, watching her face as she spoke. “Then I met you.” She looked over at her son for a moment. “I didn’t sleep with you because I was confused about Neal.” She said firmly, turning her attention back to him. “My whole life I’ve always done what I wanted, I never had to worry about how it affected anyone else.”

She stepped closer to him, and he swallowed, trying not to choke on the pit that was forming in his throat. “That night, with you, I had never done that before. You need to know that I wasn’t the type of person to just jump in bed with a stranger.”

“I never assumed that love.”

“Good.” She said with a soft smile. “But after you fell asleep, I just laid there, thinking about what I had done.”

“You regretted it?” He responded with sadness.

“No, not a single minute.” Her hand slid against his arm, and she looked up into his eyes. “There isn’t a single day that goes by that I don’t look into my son’s eyes and think of you. No matter what happened, you gave me Henry and being his mother is the single most important thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

He scanned her eyes, seeing the honesty of her words as she spoke. “If I had known about him, I swear to you I would have been there. I would have helped.”

“And that is why I want you to be a part of his life.”

He looked over at the boy sleeping peacefully in his bed and smiled. “I’d like that very much.” Turning back to her he sighed. “So, what will you do now?”

“I don’t know yet. I need to talk to Neal, try and explain all of this.”

“He won’t take this news lightly.” He warned. “I’ve known Neal all of my life. Are you sure you want to do this? We could find another way so that you didn’t need to expose yourself.”

“I won’t lie to him anymore and I can’t ask you to do it either.”

“I’d offer to assist, but I’m not certain my presence would make it better.”

She laughed again, a sound that soothed his beating heart. “This is something I need to do alone.” She walked over to her son, scooping his limp body into her arms, and depositing him into his stroller.

A look of worry washed over his face, he was certain Neal would react poorly to the news, he couldn’t blame him, if he put himself in the man’s place, he wasn’t sure he would remain calm either. “You can stop worrying about me. I’m a big girl.” She responded to his obvious concern.

“I don’t doubt that, however I would feel better if you could keep me apprised of the situation. I don’t want to walk into Neal’s fist without first knowing it’s coming.” He chuckled.

She rolled her eyes and held out her hand, when he gazed at her quizzically, she smiled. “Phone.” He pulled his phone from his pocket, handing it to her as she punched in her number and sent herself a text. When she was finished she passed it back to him. “I’ll let you know.”

He peered down at his phone and opened the text.

Killian: Hey it’s dark and stormy

He raised his brow and looked at her. “My drink order?”

“Your general attitude.” She teased, pushing the stroller past him, and reaching for the door. “I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“Emma.” He watched her leaving, a nagging feeling telling him he needed to be honest with her as well. She may be marrying Neal, but she meant something to him, she always had. He reached out and gently tugged her by the arm. “That night changed me too. I may not have known about Henry but being with you that night…I thought about you often.”

“Killian…” she replied with a frown.

“Don’t fret lass, I’m not about to declare my undying love for you or anything, I just want you to know that it wasn’t just about sex for me, you were different, I never understood it, but you were. I tried to find you many times, at other conferences, on the faces of people I passed on the streets. I never stopped thinking about you, what could have been, I just…I wanted you to know that it meant something.”

“It meant something to me too.” She said with a sad smile, twisting the handle on the door and opening it.

“Hey Killian, you finally finish with that nap of…” Killian stared into the eyes of his best friend as he looked between his fiancé and himself. “Emma?”

“Neal…” Emma stepped toward him, and Neal pushed away from her.

“What the fuck is going on?”

“Emma was just…” He started to explain, to come up with anything to make Neal stop glaring at him with the heat of thousand suns. Emma put her hand on his chest.

“Killian, don’t.”

“What the fuck.” Neal yelled. “Are you fucking my fiancé? You couldn’t wait to get one last jab in at your ole best friend, is that it?”

Killian swallowed. “Stop it Neal. That’s not what happened.”

“No? So, you’re just sneaking out of his hotel room, the day before our wedding because you were picking out bridal patterns?” He screamed.

“Mate, don’t shout at her.”

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do!” He yelled, stepping into Killian’s space.

“Everyone stop shouting.” Emma demanded, stepping between him and Neal.

“I can’t believe you would do this, Emma. You’ve known him a whole day.” He glared at him. “And you, you just couldn’t wait to use that Jones charm on her. Were you that jealous that I finally got a life that you wanted to ruin it for me?”

“I would never do that.” Killian argued. “I was happy, I am happy for you. You’re my best friend.”

“Bullshit. Friends don’t do this. Not this Killian.”

“Neal, if you would please let me explain.” Emma interrupted.

“Explain what? That the day before our wedding, you just had to have one more roll in the hay, before you got stuck with my dick forever, and of course to jab the knife in further you just had to pick him. Honestly Emma, I would have accepted it being anyone else, but him. Why him?”

“We weren’t sleeping together.” Emma closed her eyes as she spoke just as Robin approached the group.

“What’d I miss?” Robin asked anxiously.

“Just my best friend having a go at my fiancé, with my fucking kid in the room.”

“Um…What?” Robin turned toward him. “I thought we talked about this last night, you were going to walk away.”

Neal narrowed his eyes. “Last night? Jesus Christ, how quickly did the two of you fuck after meeting?”

“I didn’t have sex with her, Mate.” Killian said forcefully.

“So, you’re going to stand here and tell me that you’ve never had sex with Emma?”

Killian’s jaw tensed as he looked at Emma, his eyes gazing back to Neal. “Don’t do it, Killian.” Robin warned beside him, and Killian gritted his teeth. He couldn’t lie to Neal.

“I can’t do that.” He responded, just as the fist connected with his face and he crumpled against the wall.

“Jesus Neal.” He heard Emma yell as a pair of arms grabbed him around the elbow, pulling him back to his feet.

“Someone want to tell me what the fuck is going on.” He heard his brother’s booming voice from the other end of the hall.

“Oh good, the gang’s all here.” Killian chuckled as he spit blood from his mouth onto the ground.

“Killian fucked Emma.” Neal growled and his brother turned a disappointed eye his direction. Killian shrugged his shoulders.

“It wasn’t recent.” He growled.

“What the hell does that mean?” Neal laughed.

“It was a long time ago.” Killian heard Emma’s voice behind Neal and Neal turned to face her, the change in his direction allowed him to see the woman, tears falling down her face. “I met him at that Vegas convention that we both went to.” Robin sighed beside him. “I never meant to hurt you; I didn’t know what I wanted then. You wanted to move in, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that kind of commitment.”

Neal’s shoulders sagged as he leaned against the wall. Emma pressed forward, taking his hand. “I came back to you, I decided I needed to grow up, to take a chance so I came home, and we moved in together.”

“So, to be fair, one could say that shagging me, pushed her to you.” Killian joked, something that no one witnessing the scene found funny.

“Shut the fuck up, Jones.” Neal spat and Robin shook his head disapprovingly as if to tell him now was not the time.

“I never told him my name and I didn’t know his.”

“And you never showed us a picture of the woman you were with; I had no way of knowing my dalliance in Vegas was in any way related to you. I didn’t even know where she lived, Mate. The first time I had seen her since then was last night, I swear.”

“I don’t even know how to process this.” Neal blew out a ragged breath. “I knew you weren’t sure about moving in with me, but when you got home, you just seemed different. I never questioned it.”

“I was sure.”

“Because you had sex with him, and then suddenly you could settle for a life with me?”

“No, I just, I couldn’t be that person, the one-night stand person, I needed to grow up.”

“So, you moved in with me so you could be a responsible adult?” He asked sarcastically. “Isn’t that romantic. Here I thought you did it because you loved me.”

“I did.” She argued. “I do. I just…”

“God, I don’t feel like I know you at all. Everything I thought about our life has been a lie.”

“That’s not true, Neal.” She pleaded.

“Would you have even stayed with me if you hadn’t gotten pregnant right after we…” He paused, his hand slowly covering his mouth as if the realization was taking over, the moment that Killian had been dreading the entire time. “Oh God.”

“Neal, can we please go and…”

“He’s not mine.” He whispered, staring at the floor. “Those goddamn blue eyes.” He muttered, an angry laugh following. “He’s not mine, is he?” He asked angrily as his eyes raged with fire.

Killian dropped his head to his chest, he felt Robin’s hand on his shoulder.

“No.” Emma cried, and Killian wanted more than anything to wrap her in his arms and hold her, to protect her, but he knew that it would only make matters worse. “I’m sorry Neal, I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry brother.” Killian responded quietly.

“Don’t.” Neal pushed away from the wall. “I don’t want either of you talk to me. I can’t even look at you without wanting to vomit on the floor or punch you in the face.” He growled in his direction. He marched toward the other end of the hallway as Emma sunk to her knees crying next to the stroller. Killian looked toward his brother, sadness on his face.

“I’ll go talk to him.” He said with a nod. “Take care of them.” He said to Robin.

“Emma.” He walked toward her, and she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

“I’m fine. Please, don’t look at me like that, I’m fine. I deserved everything he said.”

“Aye, myself included, but that doesn’t make it any easier to hear.

“Can Henry rest in your room? I just need to take a walk.” She said, standing and brushing herself off.

“Do you need company?” He asked sincerely.

“No. I need to believe alone, I just need to think.”

Robin nodded and Killian watched as she walked down the hallway, her arms wrapped around her waist.

~*~

Emma could feel her heart pounding in her chest, she knew the conversation with Neal was going to be difficult, but having him find her with Killian, having the truth come out the way it did was never something she anticipated.

She deserved his ire, she deserved the words he threw at her, yet it didn’t make it hurt less.

Emma knew that if she had never gotten pregnant, she may not have ever needed to bring up her indiscretion, but she could never say that she wished she hadn’t had Henry. She could live with her mistakes, she would own the consequences, but no matter what those ended up being, she would always have her son.

She loved Neal, but if he couldn’t forgive her, she could live with that as long as she had Henry.

No matter what Neal decided, she would be fine.

She walked around for what felt like hours until she wandered into the pool area. She sat down on one of the lounge chairs, staring at the water spilling over the small waterfall built into it.

“Hey Ems.” She looked up to see Neal walking slowly toward her, his hands shoved deep in his pockets as he looked around nervously.

“I’m so sorry.” She said softly as the tears threatened to fall again.

“I know.” He took a seat on the lounger and exhaled. They sat in silence for a moment, neither sure what to say. “Did you always know?” He turned toward her calmly. “That he wasn’t mine?”

Emma shook her head, the tears finally leaving her eyes. “Not at first, no. Honestly, it didn’t occur to me to think anything at all…” She shook her head. “But then he was born, and he had those beautiful blue eyes and that dark hair and…”

“I always knew Jones would make beautiful babies.”

“I hoped I was wrong, I really did. But when I realized the truth, I had no way of knowing who his father was, and I wanted him to have a father who would love him, and you did love him so much.” She cried.

“Answer me something, Em.” He took her hand and held it in his. “If you could have known sooner who he was, would you have still chosen me to be his father?”

“I…” She didn’t know how to answer that question. She realized last night that it would be wrong to keep Killian from knowing his son, that it would be unfair for Henry not to have the chance to know his father. “You don’t have to be his dad for him to love you like one.”

“But would you still choose me? You were so unsure about us moving in together. You ran, like you always did, and you ran into another man’s bed. Without Henry, would you and I still be together?” His voice was low, and calm.

“I do love you.” She replied, choking back her tears.

“I know that Em, but you didn’t answer the question.” He said with a laugh. “I think it’s because you already know the answer.”

“I came home to you, I didn’t know I was pregnant then, I still came home to be with you.” She sobbed.

“And how long would that have lasted? Vegas scared you. Being with Killian scared you, so you ran back to me, to safety.”

“No. I wasn’t scared, I realized I needed to take responsibility, be a grown up. That’s what being with Killian did for me.” He smiled, running his hand across her cheek.

“I don’t want you to be with me because it’s the right thing to do. I want you to be with me because there’s nothing else you want in the world except for me. To know that you can’t picture your life any other way.”

“That’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not. Losing you isn’t fair either.”

Emma choked back her tears. “What are you saying?”

“I love you, Ems, I’ll always love you, but…” She felt her heart crumble in her chest. “I don’t know if I’m a big enough man to look in that boy’s eyes and know he’s Killian’s every single day and not feel like I’m having a knife stabbed in my chest every time he stares back.”

“He can still be your son.”

“I’m not walking out of his life. I’ll always be there for Henry, and after I learn to be ok with this, I’ll be the best Uncle I can be, but I’m not there yet.”

“What about us? I swear to you, I never looked at another man once we moved in together.” She cried.

“I think we need some time...”

“I don’t want time, I want you.” She begged.

“And if you still feel that way after some time apart, then we’ll talk. But right now, I can’t be with you.” Emma’s tears pooled in her eyes, she felt heartbroken and embarrassed.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, we’ll talk alright. Whatever happens, you’re gonna be alright.” He stood up, looking at her one more time. “I’ll contact all the appropriate people and make the cancellations, just take care of Henry. I’m gonna stay at the office for a while, you take the apartment. I’ll come see you in a few weeks.”

“I don’t know how to do this.” She cried.

“You’re the strongest woman I know, don’t count yourself out yet.” He walked away, disappearing around the corner before Emma sunk down into the lounger, covering her face as she sobbed.

~*~

Killian watched the boy playing in his stroller, the way his lip turned up when he smiled, the sparkle of his blue eyes.

“How’s your eye?” Robin asked from the bed.

“I’ll live. He should have hit me harder.”

There was a knock on the door and Robin got up to open it. Liam walked through the door and nodded at Robin. When their eyes met, Killian looked at the ground. He was sure his brother had to be disappointed in him.

“He’s have a conversation with Emma now.” Liam announced. “Had to do a lot of talking to make that happen instead of what he wanted to do.”

“What’s that?” Killian asked.

“Kick your ass.” He laughed.

“You should have let him.” He exhaled.

“Cut the martyr shit. The way I see it you had sex with a woman at a convention center. Nothing villainous about that.”

“He’s been raising a kid that he thought was his for two years.”

“Which you knew nothing about, right?”

“I wouldn’t have lied to him about that for two bloody years.”

“Alright then, that’s the end of it.” His brother said matter-of-factly.

“Mama.” The boy babbled from his stroller. “Want mama.” He said with a frown, tears threatening in the angry corners of his eyes.

Killian looked at Robin and Liam for assistance. “He’s your kid.” Liam shrugged.

“I don’t know what to do with him, I’ve been a dad for all of 24 hours.”

“Then you better figure it out fast.” Liam said, raising his brow, a look that told Killian that Liam had expected that Killian would be taking his responsibilities seriously from now on.

Killian bent down, pulling the boy from the stroller. “Ok lad, I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to be doing here, so I’m gonna need you to work with me here.” He held the toddler against his chest.

“Mama.”

“I know, she’ll be back soon, right now you’re stuck with me.” He laughed.

“Maybe that’s the cause for his angst.” Robin joked and Liam gave him a disapproving nod.

“I’m Killian.” He announced to the boy. “You don’t know me yet, but I’m hoping we can be friends.” He spoke softly and the child stopped crying as if trying to hear his words. “I know I haven’t been around before, but I promise I’m not going anywhere.” His mouth was set in a frown, large beads of water sat on his chubby cheeks from the tears he had shed.

The boy reached out and put a hand on Killian’s cheek and he felt his heart stop.

There was a knock on the door and Liam stepped back to open it. Neal was standing on the other side of the door. Killian supposed it was a good thing he was holding Henry, at least this way he was certain Neal wouldn’t strike him while he was holding the lad. They made eye contact and Killian suddenly felt guilty for holding Henry, his heart broke at the way Neal seemed to shrink from the sight of seeing Killian holding the boy he had thought until today was his son.

“I think we need to talk.” He responded, and Killian nodded.

“Aye.”

“Let’s get something to eat.” Liam announced, smacking Robin lightly on the back. “No fighting.” He lectured them both as if they were children. When the door closed behind them, Killian walked over to the stroller and set Henry into his seat.

“You have no idea how much I looked forward to you meeting him, and now…” He sighed. “Now seeing you with him…”

“I’m sorry, Neal, I truly am.”

“All our lives you beat me in everything, you were the first to walk, said your first words earlier than me, took the prom queen to the dance…”

“None of that was a competition.”

“Maybe not to you, remember Sandy Griffins?” Killian shook his head that he didn’t. “Of course you don’t, because she didn’t mean anything to you, but she meant everything to me. She was the first woman I ever loved, I waited for her at the coffee shop every day for a year waiting to ask her out. And then out of nowhere, she shows up with you.”

“Ever think that maybe if you had spoken to her in that year instead of just watching her, you might have gotten to her first?”

“It never mattered, you were the one who could draw, you became the architect, and I was always just the other guy.”

“I wasn’t out to get you, Cassidy.”

“Maybe not, but this time, this time I won. I found the most amazing woman I had ever laid eyes on, and she was mine. And I made sure she stayed mine. I kept her away from you. And finally, I had the life, a woman I was going to marry, and a boy, a beautiful perfect baby boy who was all mine!” Killian sighed sadly. “And somehow you took all of that away from me again.”

“Why did you never talk to me about how you felt before? I’ve always loved you like a brother; I have never held ill will or malice toward you. But you have to know that if I had known that Emma was your girlfriend I never would have pursued her.”

“And yet here we are.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Leave. Go back to England and never come back. Stay away from Emma and Henry.” He spoke in an even but flat tone. Killian stared at his friend before looking down at the boy in the stroller.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

“Not even to save our relationship?” He asked.

“You’re my brother and I love you, and I’m sorry for what this has done to you, I can’t even imagine what you’re feeling right now, but I won’t abandon the boy. I may not have been there when he was born or been able to watch him grow like you have, but I am the boy’s father, and I would never walk away from that responsibility.” He paused. “Even for you.”

His jaw tensed and then he pushed away from the wall, causing his body to tense. “Good.” Killian shook his head in confusion. “You’re right, you haven’t been there. Did you know that Emma was in labor for 23 hours with him?” Killian gestured that he didn’t. “It was a hell of a pregnancy, she was sick most of the time, and when she went into labor she wasn’t even sure she could get through the ordeal. But Emma’s a strong woman and even after 23 hours she kept her strength and Henry was brought into the world at three o’clock in the morning. I took one look at him, and I knew I would protect him for the rest of my life.”

“I’m not trying to take your place.”

“I know. But he’s gonna need his father, and don’t you dare let anything, including me, ever get in the way of you being there for him.” He wrapped his arms around Neal’s back and embraced him. When they finally broke the hug, he looked at the man.

“So now what?”

“Now I go lick my wounds and figure out who I am.”

“What about Emma?”

He sighed. “I don’t know.”

“She came home to you; she chose you to be Henry’s father.”

“I know, but there’s something I learned about Emma a long time ago. She has a fear of being abandoned, did you know her parents left her when she was a child, just tossed her out like she was trash. Emma would never want that for her son. She would have stayed with me even if it wasn’t her choice.”

“But you were her choice.”

“Yes, her only choice, because she couldn’t find you.”

“That’s not fair, we spent one night together, that doesn’t mean that my being in her life would have made a difference in whether she choose you or not.”

“Perhaps not, but a part of me will always wonder.”

“But you love her.” He argued.

“You know me, I’m a selfish prick, I love that woman, but if I have to wonder if she loves me as much as I love her, the moment I question that, it’s never going to be enough.”

“So, you’re just going to end things with her? Just like that, the day before your wedding?”

“Don’t get too excited, I’ll still kick your ass if you pursue her right now.” He said seriously.

“You really think that little of me?”

Neal sighed. “She’s an amazing woman, I wouldn’t blame you for going after her, I’m just asking that you don’t. I don’t know what’s going to happen between her and I, but I’d like to have the opportunity to figure that out. You’re Henry’s father, there’s nothing I can do about that, but until an hour ago, she was going to be my wife.”

“You have my word.”

“Now…” He said with a laugh. “I think I’m going to drown my sorrows in beer.”

“You want company.”

“Not tonight, maybe next time.” He said with a smile that told Killian that even though things felt awful now, eventually they would be ok.

He walked over to Henry’s stroller and ruffled the boy’s hair. “He really does look like you.” He smiled widely. “Poor kid.”

And with that, Neal walked out the door.

~*~

Emma wandered the grounds of the hotel for what felt like hours, she knew she needed to get back to her son, to go home and pick up the pieces from the explosion that was her life. She felt emotionally numb by the time she found herself standing in front of Killian’s hotel room. She knocked on the door and waited until she saw his face on the other side of the door.

“Are you alright, love?”

“I’m honestly not sure right now.” She laughed. “But I will be.”

She stepped into the room, seeing her son sitting on the floor surrounded by a mountain of pillows and blankets. She caught his eye and laughed. “I wasn’t sure if it was safe for him to roam.”

She sat down in the middle of the pillow fort and covered her eyes. The little boy laughed and grabbed her hands away from her face. “Mama pee a boo.” She laughed, scooping the boy into her arms, and squeezed him tightly. “Too much.” He complained and Emma released him with a giggle.

“Sorry baby.”

“What will you do now?”

“Well, the wedding is off.” She sighed. “Not that I should have been surprised by that.”

“Aye, I heard. I’m sorry.” She stood up, looking at his face.

“Does it hurt?” She touched his eye and he winced.

“Just my pride.” He joked.

“So, when do you go back to London?”

“I have to do a presentation on Sunday for an important client, my flight leaves tomorrow morning.”

She shook her head and exhaled. “Well, I hope you’ll keep in touch. I did mean it; I want him to know his father.”

“Aye, I was going to talk to you about that.” He paused. “I do have to go home for a short time, but I would like to return, have an opportunity to get to know the lad. If you’ll permit it.”

“I would like that, but doesn’t your brother need you at home?”

“I think he can manage without my physical presence. I haven’t taken a vacation in years.”

“As long as you are sure, I don’t want to be the cause of any more problems for you.” She said seriously, not wanting to inconvenience the man’s life further after upending everything he knew in the span of 24 hours.

“You’ve given me the opportunity to get to know my son, you’re trusting me with something so precious to you, and I don’t intend to let you down.”

She felt the tears slide across her cheek, afraid that she was about to break down again, not wanting to show that kind of weakness in front of the man in the room. “I’m sorry, I’m trying to hold it together here.” She laughed, looking up to see him walking toward her. She tensed when he reached her.

“Even the strongest woman is allowed to fall apart now and then.” And without another word, he wrapped her in his arms and held her against his chest. For the first time that day, Emma let someone else be her strength as she released all of her weight against him, letting the tears fall freely. She allowed him to lead her to the corner of the bed, pulling her down on his lap as she released the remaining grief and anger of the last few hours, letting the stress fall free from her.

She didn’t know how long they sat like that, how long she allowed him to brush his fingers through her hair, to whisper reassurances against her scalp. She didn’t know why she even allowed a man she had barely known for more than a few days to see her so vulnerable; she only knew that she didn’t want to feel alone.

“Mama, up.” She turned her head to see her son pulling himself up to stand beside her. Emma simply reacted, lifting her son into her lap, and kissing the boy’s cheek. It was only then that she realized how ridiculous the moment was. Holding her son while she sat in Killian’s lap on his bed in the middle of his hotel room.

She looked up, meeting his eye as his dark orbs looked through her, his hand drawing lazy circles against her back. “I uh…”

He cleared his throat, moving his arm, giving her the opportunity to remove herself from his embrace. “Yeah, it’s getting late, I’m sure the lad is tired.”

He helped her put Henry’s things into the stroller and walked her to the door. Emma turned before she reached it. “Killian…” She paused when she realized how close he was to her. “I don’t know that I can give you anything more than the chance to know Henry. I mean, I just ruined one relationship before I could walk down the aisle, I’m not sure that I’m going to be ready for anything besides friendship.”

“I get that you find me devilishly handsome, striking one might say, but I’m afraid you’re going to have to control yourself around me, love.”

“Ok smartass.” She smirked, pulling the door open and pushing the stroller into the hall. “Don’t be a stranger.” She remarked before making her way back to her empty apartment.

~*~

A few years later

“Happy birthday to you.” A chorus of voices sang to the boy at the table.

“Make a wish baby.” Emma told her son and Killian watched him blow out the candles, his eyes squeezed shut. He could hardly believe the boy was turning four.

“What did you wish for, lad?” Killian asked the boy.

“I can’t tell you that, daddy.” The boy giggled when Killian lifted him out of his chair and blew kisses against his neck.

“Ok, put him down before he pukes up his pizza.” Emma swatted at Killian as she brought the plates to the table. “Do you want cake, Neal?”

“I’m watching my weight, Ems.” Neal joked as he pressed a hand to his stomach.

“Watching it go where?” Killian remarked with a wink.

“Bite me, Jones. I’m serious, I’ve been going to the gym five times a week lately. You might want to step inside one now and then, those jeans are looking a little tight.” Killian waited until Emma turned around before flipping Neal the bird.

“Would you two make yourself useful and deliver these to the backyard.” She passed a plate to each of them and pushed them out the backdoor.

“Women.” Neal remarked loudly before she shut the door behind them. “We’ve got cake.” Neal announced to the men in the backyard.

“Finally.” Robin took the plate from Killian’s hands and dug in immediately. “Did Em make this?” Killian rolled his eyes as the man spoke with his mouth full, sitting down in the seat across from his brother.

“Store bought, when do you think Ems would have time to bake?” Neal joked. “I swear she hasn’t stopped working for two months straight.”

“Someone should give her a day off.” Killian stated loudly as he popped the cap on his beer.

“Trust me, I’ve tried.” Liam responded. “She always cancels it.”

“Who needs a vacation when I have you guys.” Emma’s voice interrupted them, with Henry running through the backyard holding a small sailboat in his hand and a cowboy hat on his head.

“Look what dad got me.” Henry announced, holding the boat up proudly in his hands.

“That’s a pretty neat ship there, lad.” His brother inspected the small boat.

“Where’d you get the cool hat, son?”

“Uncle Neal.” He said loudly. “You wanna try it on?” He pushed the hat into his hands and Killian slipped it onto his head.

“You’re head’s too big, daddy.”

“You’re just not cool enough for the hat, Jones.” Neal teased, lifting Henry into his arms, and running through the yard with him.

“You want to go out tonight?” Robin asked when it was just he and Killian left at the table. Killian looked across the yard at Emma throwing away plates of food.

“I think I’m just gonna help clean up here and head back to the hotel. I have a couple projects I need to complete. Wouldn’t want the boss to fire me if I miss my deadline.”

“All work and no play, brother.” Liam said with a wink.

His eyes continued to follow Emma who was watching her son play with Neal with a soft smile on her face. Killian could hardly believe how much his life had changed since finding out Henry was his.

The first few months had been awkward and sometimes quite explosive. While Neal was accepting of his inclusion in Henry’s life, he wasn’t always accommodating. Killian had been true to his word, while he still lived in London, he made sure to visit the boy a few times a month. Flying back and forth was exhausting and after a few months he realized he couldn’t keep up at that pace.

He had begun spending every other month in the states, doing virtual presentations to complete his job tasks and then returning to London and keeping up with Zoom calls to Henry and Emma. It wasn’t always easy, but Killian was determined to make it work.

Spending time with the boy had been more rewarding than anything else he had ever done in his life. The first time he called him daddy, Killian thought his heart had stopped. It was the greatest day of his life.

Emma had been very helpful in learning the new role of being a father, she was always patient with him, always offering tips when Henry wasn’t looking to assist him in doing the right thing. He admired her for the way she was raising the boy on her own. Even if Neal and Killian were always around to take turns watching him when she had to work, or even just spending the day with him to allow her to sleep, Emma was always taking care of her boy.

He had been the one to suggest to his brother to hire Emma on as a designer for the firm. She was working day and night for half the pay at the company she was employed by, and Killian knew that working for his brother would allow her medical insurance and benefits for her and Henry. The move had paid off, Emma was a great asset to the company, she was very talented, though she said it had more to do with her adding a woman’s perspective to a company full of men.

Either way, Killian was happy to have her, even if it was not in the way he wanted to have her. Killian had made the promise to Neal not to pursue Emma while they were figuring out their relationship and he had kept his word. As far as he knew, Neal had begun dating other women, maintaining a relationship with Henry as “Favorite Uncle” just as he had promised.

Emma did not seem concerned with Neal’s dating, nor did she seem interested in dating anyone herself.

Killian had spent so much of his time focused on his son that women had become something of a non-issue to him. He had no time to focus on anything besides his son…and Emma. They had become good friends during the past few years, he had even spent the night at her new home on multiple occasions while visiting Henry. After many nights spent on her couch, the next visit he found a portable bed set up for him in the office.

They had flirted on occasion, usually after nights of having a couple of drinks after work, but never anything that crossed the line between them. Not that he hadn’t thought of it, he had on many occasions, but never acted on it for fear or ruining the peace they had found in their little family.

“You know, Neal is bringing a woman with him tonight. Tamra I think is her name.” His brother interrupted his thoughts.

“I don’t think I’ve heard her name before.”

“I met her last time we visited, but I think it might be serious this time.”

“Interesting, he never mentioned her.” Killian said with a shrug.

“Well, I think he’d like to sire his own children eventually without your assistance.” Robin joked and Killian laughed loudly. “You sure you haven’t been with a woman lately, perhaps he’d better show you a photo of his date before they take this any further.”

“Very funny, Mate.” Killian growled.

“My point has been lost.” Liam continued. “It appears that Neal has moved on, which leaves other options open to you.”

“Other options?” Killian asked with a raise of his brow.

“Perhaps with the boy’s mother?”

Killian frowned and turned his attention toward Emma. “I’m uncertain how to navigate through those dangerous waters.”

His brother stood, watching the scene in front of them. “A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets.”

The rest of the evening his brother’s words resonated in his brain like a clock that wouldn’t stop ticking in his ear. He had a choice, do nothing, and let everything continue how it was, a peace between Emma, Neal, and himself. Or pursue an opportunity with Emma, and risk upending everything they had built.

He lifted the garbage bag out of the trash can, tying it off and walking it to the curb. When he returned to the house, Emma was standing at the sink washing dishes. “I think that’s all of it.” He announced and she turned toward him with a smile before returning to the task at hand.

“I just put Henry down if you want to catch him before he’s asleep.”

He nodded and walked to the back room, peeking into the room at his son. “Hey kiddo, did you have a great birthday?”

“The best.” He beamed happily. “Are you leaving?”

“Aye, as soon as the house is back in ship shape order.” The boy frowned. “But I’ll be back tomorrow before I leave for my flight.”

He sat up in his bed as Killian approached him. “Why don’t you live here?” Killian had always expected this conversation, though he wasn’t prepared with how he would respond.

“Well, my work is in London.” He sat down next to his son.

“But I’m here.” He said with a whine. “And mommy.”

“I know, and I’ll be back to see you next month.” He ran his hands through the boy’s hair, a frown forming on the child’s face.

“But I’ll miss you.”

Killian’s heart broke seeing his son upset, he would do anything in the world for the boy not to see him hurt. “I know Henry, perhaps I can convince your mother to take a vacation and you could come and visit me in London, would you like that?”

He smiled brightly, “Would I get to fly?”

“Absolutely.” He leaned over and kissed the boy on his head, laying him back against his pillow. “Now get some sleep, it was a busy day for you today.”

“I love you daddy.”

Killian smiled, kissing the boy’s forehead. “I love you too, my boy. Have pleasant dreams.”

He stepped out into the hall and found Emma standing against the wall. “Now he won’t stop talking about flying for a month.” She said with a smile.

“Sorry if I overstepped, but I would very much enjoy it if Henry came for a visit.”

“I think he would like that too.” She said, handing him a glass, he took a sip and smiled.

“Dark and stormy, haven’t had one of these in a while.” He followed her to the living room and took a seat next to her on the couch.

“I’ve been thinking…”

He narrowed his eyes. “I hope it didn’t hurt too much.”

She pushed her shoulder against his with a small laugh. “What if Henry and I came to stay with you next month?”

“You’re serious?”

“Liam has been bugging me about coming to visit headquarters, he has a few clients he wanted to get me in touch with over there, thought it might be a good time to do it.”

“So, you’re just coming for business purposes?”

“And so that Henry can visit you, unless you know of any other reason for me to visit?”

He swallowed, watching her eyes dance playfully as she stared at him. “Perhaps if you had a friend with knowledge of the town, he might give you a tour.”

“I have plenty of friends in London.” She said with a shrug.

“Maybe a friend with a bit more intimate knowledge of…” He leaned toward her.

“What if I was interested in something a little less friend and a little more intimate.” His eyes widened and a smirk grew on his face.

“That depends, love.” She frowned, glaring at him. “Do you intend to give the gent your name first?” She slapped him on the shoulder, shoving against him playfully, and his hand wrapped around the back of her neck, pulling her against him as his lips captured hers. Kissing her was different than he remembered, not the act itself, but the feeling that immediately overtook him when she returned the kiss with passion. It was like electricity attacking his spine, and the rate that his heart was pounding in his chest was faster than he remembered.

When they pulled apart, she kept eyes closed, her tongue gliding against her lips as if she were savoring his taste. When she finally opened her eyes, she was staring at him with uncertainty, as if she wasn’t sure what she wanted to say next.

“That was…” She blinked slowly as if caught in a trance.

“Worth the wait.” He finished. “Though I would have waited a lifetime if that’s what you wanted.”

“Why? All these years you never even attempted to hit on me.” She asked seriously.

“You’re the mother of my child, my best friend’s ex, a co-worker, and the love of my life. Do you have any idea how hard it is to navigate through that kind of storm?”

“I’m sorry, can you back up a minute, I’m what?”

“Mother of my child, my best friends…”

“Not that part!”

“You’re the love of my life.” He replied honestly. “I never wanted to push you in one direction or the other, I told you I would be here for you as a friend and I meant it, but that hasn’t stopped me from falling in love with you. You are incredibly talented, a hard worker, a beautiful woman. Believe me, I’ve tried not to develop feelings for you, but watching you each day with our son, the way you care for him, how deeply you love, I couldn’t stop myself.”

She launched herself into his arms, her lips attacking his mouth, his jaw, it was as if she were enveloping him in her embrace. Suddenly she pulled back, her eyes dark and wanting. “Hi.” She said softly and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Hey.”

“Not to sound too forward, but I find you very attractive, perhaps even striking, and the accent is sexy as hell. I was thinking maybe you’d want to spend the night with me?”

“That’s mighty presumptuous of you, love?” She bit her lip. “However, while you are correct in your assumption, I was actually hoping it would be more than just the one night.”

“How long were you thinking?” She asked with a look of hope in her eyes.

“However long you’ll have me, Emma Swan.” He grinned.

“I’m thinking it might be a long time, Killian Jones.” She smirked.

“Aye, that it may.” Lifting her from the couch, he carried her to her room knowing that tomorrow she would wake in his arms, and they would start a new chapter. A chapter of family, a chapter of forgiveness, a chapter of love in the lives of Killian Jones and Emma Swan.

[karomate]

High Ground - Olli Matela FF

Hiya everyone. This is my first FF ever published on tumblr. Please bear with me and let me make some mistakes lolz. BTW english isnt my first language and theree could be like a lot of mistakes. Pls let me know if you like it. :)

It was hard being a young rising star in the music business. What was a lot harder was being a woman in a mainly men orientated music business, where you couldn’t say something without being misunderstood. That’s how Sara felt almost all the time. She was talented, nobody had their doubts about that. The problem was the people didn’t really have a lot of expectation when it came to her skills as an observer. Which they always explained as: “You’re so young you cant possibly be smart enough to make a decision about your life. It will harm your career. Do you want that?”, the y guilt-tripped her into thinking she was the problem. But she never really paid it any attention. She loved singing and making music in general, was her greatest passion.

On this day she was on tour in Finland, where she was to meet the entry of the Eurovision 2021.

She walked into a chaotic hotel room. There were clothes everywhere and she saw beer bottles just standing on surfaces. Men, she thought.

“Hi you must be Sara”, said a man while he walked into her vision. “My name is Joel, we’re actually all pretty big fans of yours”, he smiled at her. She didn’t believe him. Why should she? People told her all the time, they liked her music, but most of them had a foul reason behind their kindness. So to not seem rude, she smiled at him and told him it was also nice to meet him.

“The other boys just went out to grab some food, they left me behind to clean up. As you can see I didn’t came too far”, he laughed at his own joke, turned to her, saw that she wasn’t laughing and immediately stopped. She wasn’t in the mood for jokes. This was a business meeting. They had to talk about something she understood. Music.

“So what’s your position in the band?”, she asked him while she walked further into the room and picked up an empty beer bottle. While inspecting the paper on the back of the bottle, she didn’t understand anything, she waited for an answer.

“I am the singer”, he smiled proudly and she couldn’t help but gift him one of her rare smiles. “Do you need help cleaning up? I was told we should do a collab and I honestly can’t work with so many beer bottles and Pizza boxes lying around”, she honestly told him to which he nodded.

Together they started picking up the trash in silence, both completely focused on their own thoughts.

That was until the door suddenly opened and five young men came running in with various pizza boxes. All that cleaning for nothing, Sara thought.

“Oh hi you must be Sara”, one of them smiled over the boxes. “Sorry I cant shake your hand, they are kind of occupied”, he apologized and put the pizza’s down, the rest following his lead.

“I am Niko”, he introduced himself. “These are Joonas, Tommi, Aleksi and lastly Olli”, he pointed at the other members. They couldn’t introduce themselves it seemed, but it didn’t bother her. She just wanted to start what she was told.

“As I was told by my manager, your direction of music is called violent pop”, she asked them, turning her back to them, which she knew was rude. She didn’t care. She wasn’t here to make friends. This was business. One of them cleared his throat. “Yes that’s what we call it”, he explained an smiled at her, when she turned herself back to them. She believed it was that Niko guy. She decided she liked him. He seemed nice enough. “Okay. Then lets get to work boys”, she tried to sound motivated but it ways hard.¨

She was thrown into this industry when she was the sweet age of 15 years old and now, six years later she is still here. She loved making music and she was really good at it too. But she couldn’t see herself being happy in the long term with her current team. The band was amazing. They were all really sweet, but her manager was little asshole and the rest was useless as well. Only having their paycheck before their eyes.

“Aleksi here actually sampled some melodies and wanted to show you”, Niko said again and gave the guy called Aleksi, that he should show her, which he did.

He was good, she must admit. Very good. She told him that. No point in not saying the truth. She wanted this collab to be successful, so she had to see where their strengths lay. She didn’t really look into them, when she was told about the collab. She wanted to be surprised. And until now she was pleasantly surprised. They were all very nice to her and they seemed to be talented as well.

“Okay since your music is a bit harder than mine, how about we build up the song?”, she suggested and then she was in her modus. She suggested things, made notes and listened to everything the had to say. It was amazing how far the came in just a few hours.

At around 9.00 PM the boys started to get grumpy. The pizza was eaten long ago and they seemed to be hungry. “Y’all want to take a break”, she asked them, to which they all nodded. “How about we end things for today, get a few drinks and then start again in the moringn? All fresh?”, the drummer Tommi suggested and everyone agreed. But Sara had to decline their offer. In all her six years of fame she wasn’t caught outside drinking with friends. Not that she didn’t want to. It was her manager, Mr. Smith, who had a problem with her having fun. He insisted she couldn’t afford any bad publicity. She never had any to begin with. Except for a few controversial lines in her songs she never had any scandals.

“You sure you don’t want to join us?”, asked Niko, whit whom she got along pretty well. “I’d love to but I really cant. I was actually never in a bar”, she admitted the last part so only he could hear her. She looked at the floor, suddenly embarrassed. Which person who was 21 years old was never in a bar before. Only her, apparently.

“No worries, we wont pressure you”, he tried to cheer her up and put his hand on her shoulder. “Well, see you all tomorrow boys”, she said and quickly left the room.ryoneHiya ev

It was hard being a young rising star in the music business. What was a lot harder was being a woman in a mainly men orientated music business, where you couldn’t say something without being misunderstood. That’s how Sara felt almost all the time. She was talented, nobody had their doubts about that. The problem was the people didn’t really have a lot of expectation when it came to her skills as an observer. Which they always explained as: “You’re so young you cant possibly be smart enough to make a decision about your life. It will harm your career. Do you want that?”, the y guilt-tripped her into thinking she was the problem. But she never really paid it any attention. She loved singing and making music in general, was her greatest passion.

On this day she was on tour in Finland, where she was to meet the entry of the Eurovision 2021.

She walked into a chaotic hotel room. There were clothes everywhere and she saw beer bottles just standing on surfaces. Men, she thought.

“Hi you must be Sara”, said a man while he walked into her vision. “My name is Joel, we’re actually all pretty big fans of yours”, he smiled at her. She didn’t believe him. Why should she? People told her all the time, they liked her music, but most of them had a foul reason behind their kindness. So to not seem rude, she smiled at him and told him it was also nice to meet him.

“The other boys just went out to grab some food, they left me behind to clean up. As you can see I didn’t came too far”, he laughed at his own joke, turned to her, saw that she wasn’t laughing and immediately stopped. She wasn’t in the mood for jokes. This was a business meeting. They had to talk about something she understood. Music.

“So what’s your position in the band?”, she asked him while she walked further into the room and picked up an empty beer bottle. While inspecting the paper on the back of the bottle, she didn’t understand anything, she waited for an answer.

“I am the singer”, he smiled proudly and she couldn’t help but gift him one of her rare smiles. “Do you need help cleaning up? I was told we should do a collab and I honestly can’t work with so many beer bottles and Pizza boxes lying around”, she honestly told him to which he nodded.

Together they started picking up the trash in silence, both completely focused on their own thoughts.

That was until the door suddenly opened and five young men came running in with various pizza boxes. All that cleaning for nothing, Sara thought.

“Oh hi you must be Sara”, one of them smiled over the boxes. “Sorry I cant shake your hand, they are kind of occupied”, he apologized and put the pizza’s down, the rest following his lead.

“I am Niko”, he introduced himself. “These are Joonas, Tommi, Aleksi and lastly Olli”, he pointed at the other members. They couldn’t introduce themselves it seemed, but it didn’t bother her. She just wanted to start what she was told.

“As I was told by my manager, your direction of music is called violent pop”, she asked them, turning her back to them, which she knew was rude. She didn’t care. She wasn’t here to make friends. This was business. One of them cleared his throat. “Yes that’s what we call it”, he explained an smiled at her, when she turned herself back to them. She believed it was that Niko guy. She decided she liked him. He seemed nice enough. “Okay. Then lets get to work boys”, she tried to sound motivated but it ways hard.¨

She was thrown into this industry when she was the sweet age of 15 years old and now, six years later she is still here. She loved making music and she was really good at it too. But she couldn’t see herself being happy in the long term with her current team. The band was amazing. They were all really sweet, but her manager was little asshole and the rest was useless as well. Only having their paycheck before their eyes.

“Aleksi here actually sampled some melodies and wanted to show you”, Niko said again and gave the guy called Aleksi, that he should show her, which he did.

He was good, she must admit. Very good. She told him that. No point in not saying the truth. She wanted this collab to be successful, so she had to see where their strengths lay. She didn’t really look into them, when she was told about the collab. She wanted to be surprised. And until now she was pleasantly surprised. They were all very nice to her and they seemed to be talented as well.

“Okay since your music is a bit harder than mine, how about we build up the song?”, she suggested and then she was in her modus. She suggested things, made notes and listened to everything the had to say. It was amazing how far the came in just a few hours.

At around 9.00 PM the boys started to get grumpy. The pizza was eaten long ago and they seemed to be hungry. “Y’all want to take a break”, she asked them, to which they all nodded. “How about we end things for today, get a few drinks and then start again in the moringn? All fresh?”, the drummer Tommi suggested and everyone agreed. But Sara had to decline their offer. In all her six years of fame she wasn’t caught outside drinking with friends. Not that she didn’t want to. It was her manager, Mr. Smith, who had a problem with her having fun. He insisted she couldn’t afford any bad publicity. She never had any to begin with. Except for a few controversial lines in her songs she never had any scandals.

“You sure you don’t want to join us?”, asked Niko, whit whom she got along pretty well. “I’d love to but I really cant. I was actually never in a bar”, she admitted the last part so only he could hear her. She looked at the floor, suddenly embarrassed. Which person who was 21 years old was never in a bar before. Only her, apparently.

“No worries, we wont pressure you”, he tried to cheer her up and put his hand on her shoulder. “Well, see you all tomorrow boys”, she said and quickly left the room.