#and Top Ten Most Decisions Of My Life
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todayisafridaynight · 6 months ago
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Have you seen the second The Fable movie that has Sawashiro's actor in it? I... did not expect them to give him a steamy scene hccfvgbhnjmk
calling it a 'steamy scene' is outta hand but i also cant say its incorrect entirely by unfortunate technicality but also Top Ten Worst Scenes To Watch With Your Best Friend Who Had Yet To See A Tsutsumi Movie
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toomanystoriessolittletime · 5 months ago
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How did it end?
Summary: A flashback to the night that changed your lives forever.
Pairing: past Joel Miller x fem. reader
Wordcount: 2.4k
Rating: T
Warnings: angst (so much angst), flashbacks, some really hurtful words, cursing, crying, pregnancy tests, Joel being a dick, Calvin being the best supportive brother
A/N: somehow I feel in my mind like this should have been worse, but I am sure you all do not feel like that at all so I'm sorry lol
follow @toomanystoriessolittletime-fics and turn on notifications to get notified when I post new fics
part three of invisible string
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Even before the outbreak you dealt with your anxiety or with big life decisions the same way.
You were stress cleaning. 
After walking out from Joel you made your way into the town centre, picking up your kids and then got back home where your brother Calvin was already trying to cook something but you mutually made the decision that you were gonna cook while he bathed the kids. 
You both did not want him to burn the house down.
He wanted to ask you how it went, having run into Maria on his way home from the Patrol meeting, who had told her that you had been at the clinic to see Joel. 
But this wasn’t the time or the place. 
It ended up being a nice evening all things considered. 
You had dinner, played some boardgames, read a good night stories to your kids and watched them sleep in their little beds until the nervous energy in your body left you walking back downstairs.
Once the house got quiet after the kids and you brother were asleep (he had an early morning with his first big day on Patrol the next day) you were alone with your thoughts. 
And your thoughts were loud, and demanded to be heard. 
So you went into the kitchen, took a look at all the cleaning supplies that were still stocked under the kitchen sink and got to work. 
You started with the top of the kitchen cabinets, standing on the counter as you scrubbed what felt like centuries of dust off of them until you were satisfied and moved to inside the cabinets. 
What a picture it would be if one of your new neighbours caught the crazy lady next door deep cleaning the kitchen at 2 am during the literal apocalypse.
Cleaning usually had the power to make the thoughts inside your head shut up. 
But as you emptied the cabinets so you could clean them inside, your mind drifted to the last time you had tried to deal with whatever was going on in your life by extensively deep cleaning every surface around you. 
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The Outbreak might have been an excuse for many people to let things like cleaning the place where they lived become unimportant. 
Which deep down it was of course.
Why have a clean kitchen when just down the street, behind the fences and walls the so called new government had pulled up, there were people and what once were people dying or fighting (or eating) each other?
But you always lived by the mindset of clean home, clean mind. 
And what you desperately needed right now was a clean mind. 
Two ten year old positive pregnancy tests you took this morning after feeling off for the last couple of weeks and missing you period were enough reason to freak out. 
But you couldn’t freak out. 
Joel would do that for you, you were sure. 
That was, if he ever decided to come home to you again after being on a run with Tess for the last four days. 
He hadn’t even told you or kissed you goodbye this time. 
You had woken up to a note on the kitchen table telling you that he’d be gone on a run with Tess and he didn’t know how long.
Something about your husband had changed in the last few months. 
It changed ever since Tommy left and Tess was his only influence outside of you. Not that you had much influence on anything he did nowadays. 
It wasn’t like he was the most attentive men to begin with. 
But you fell for him. 
You fell for the complicated, traumatised and closed off man who to this day was the most handsome man you had ever met. 
And deep down you knew he fell for you, mumbling his confessions of love into your skin when he thought you were asleep. 
It was the way he looked at you. 
The way he brought home a new book to read whenever he went out of the QZ. 
The way he made you forget about the fucked up word outside of the walls you made your home whenever he gave you his full attention. 
He wouldn’t have put a ring on your finger years earlier as you laid in his arms, asking you to be his until the day you both died, if he did not love you, would he?
You loved him, you loved him even when he seemed to make it his personal goal to make you hate him. 
He used to be home every night in the beginning. 
He used to love to spend time with you and you with him. Staying up just talking for hours if he wasn’t making love to you. 
Because even when he was fucking you, it felt different. More… intense. More passionate.  
He used to smile at you. 
By now you couldn’t remember the last time he smiled at you now. 
And by the time you had practically polished the whole shitty apartment you and Joel lived in it was dark outside and he still wasn’t home. 
In hopes he would be home and it would lift his mood you had made dinner that now sat cold on the stove.
It was after 11pm and you were tired, having been in the bathroom brushing your teeth when you heard the door unlock and open. 
A nervous flutter in your stomach made the dinner you had earlier almost come up but you took a deep breath, looking at yourself in the small mirror over the sink. 
You were wearing one of Joel’s old worn flannels, his familiar scent in your nose. 
What was the worst that could happen?
It was not like you could just turn back time?
You were pregnant and he just would have to deal with it. 
Right?
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You would never forget the way his eyes hardened once you said the words
„I am pregnant.“
He had been in a relatively good mood when you joined him in the small kitchen, having already taken his shoes and coat off, his hair damp from the rain outside. 
It made you reconsider telling him for a tiny moment, wanting to just enjoy this with him. But maybe he would not react like you thought he would? Maybe he would be happy?
You wanted to ask a million question about how it went but you were too nervous, having instead kissed his cheek with a whispered „I miss you“ and then offered to warm up some food for him. 
He had put his hand on your waist, his fingers brushing over your stomach as he went into the bathroom, his lips against your temple telling you that he would just take a quick shower. 
It was after he ate, the table cleaned that you told him. 
Sitting across from him at the tiny shitty table you had, your hands flat on the surface, the silence after you told him the news sickening.
His whole face had changed, expression hard, by the time he opened his mouth to speak. 
„Is it mine?“ He asked and you just blinked at him, speechless, your head falling back as if he had slapped you, before you answered. 
„What do you mean? Who else would it be? We’re married,“ you said and he scoffed. 
„Doesn’t mean you don’t open your legs for anyone else while I’m gone,“ he sneered and you flinched at the accusation and the tone he used. 
Sucking your bottom lip in you looked at your hands, still on the table, nodding your head slowly. 
„Good to know what you think of me after all these years,“ you whispered, still trying to process his words. 
„What did you think would happen? That I’ll be happy? Newsflash darlin’, this isn’t one of your dumb romance novels you keep reading,“ he said, before he brought his fist down on the table, making you jump. He got up from where he was sitting, walking over to the cabinet that held all the liquor he scavenged, opening the one bottle of original Jack Daniel’s and taking a long sip. 
„You gonna get rid of it,“ he said and you looked at him. 
„Excuse me?“ You asked. 
„Don’t want no kids of mine in this fucked up world. And especially not with you,“ he said and you felt slapped again. One blow after the next coming from him. You crossed your arms in front of your stomach protectively. 
You had imagined his reaction would be bad, but this wasn’t bad. This was destroying you.
„So that’s it, you don’t want a kid, and I have to just comply?“
„That’s exactly how it is, sweetheart,“ he grinned darkly at you, shaking his head and leaning against the wall and you desperately tried to find the tiniest part of the person you had fallen in love with as you looked at him. 
But there was nothing left. 
Maybe you just had been too blind to see it until now.
„I thought you loved me,“ you whispered, tears in your eyes. 
„How can someone love you? You thought because I put a ring on your finger everything would be okay? We’d be a happy little family and live in this shitty apartment in this shitty QZ while the world around us is fucking dying? How did you think this would go?“ He asked. 
„You made it sound like I planned this. Do you think I like this? Do you think I like being pregnant by a man who even though treated me like the fucking dirt beneath his shoes for the last months, was still the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with?“ 
„Then get rid of it and we can get back to it,“ he said and you scoffed.
„You really think things are gonna get back to how they were after you said all that?“ You asked. 
He shrugged. 
„Where would you go? You have no family. No friends. All you have is me,“ he said. 
„And you’re so different? Who do you have? Tommy left because…“
„Do not talk about my brother,“ he threatened and glared at you. 
You shook your head, taking a deep breath. 
He was drunk. 
This was not going anywhere. 
This would never go anywhere.
„Things are not going to go back. I can find someone better than you on every corner,“ he said and you could not stop the sob that shook your body and you were pretty sure you could hear your heart breaking. 
„I don’t love you. I never did,“ he said and the tears you had tried to hold in finally fell. 
„Get rid of this, before I take care of it,“ he said, and a chill ran down your spine at his tone. 
„And then get the fuck out of my life.“
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You were in the last touches of finishing cleaning the kitchen when you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. 
You hadn’t even noticed the tears until Calvin pulled against his chest, his hand running soothingly up and down your back. 
„You wanna talk about it?“ He asked and you shook your head. 
„Not yet. Not ever if I’m honest,“ you mumbled and he chuckled. 
„Need to talk to him though,“ you said and leaned back, turning around to turn on the stove to heat up some water and make some tea for the both of you. Looking at the clock hanging on the wall you noticed that it was just before 5 am. 
„Don’t need to do anything,“ he said and opened the fridge, getting the lunch he had prepared the day before for his day out and grabbing some stuff to make himself a sandwich. 
„I can’t ignore him forever. As much as I would like to. He’s…. He’s here and he won’t go anywhere. Neither will we. So we have to…. Co-exist somehow.“
You both get to your tasks before you both sat down at the table, you with two mugs of tea, one for him, him with two sandwiches, one which he pushed towards you. 
„You still love him,“ your brother said after a while and you sighed, looking up at him. 
„Yeah. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t think I’l ever be able to forgive him for everything that happened,“ you smiled sadly. 
„Well,“ your brother said before he got up and put his plate in the sink.
„Then you should talk to him and tell him that so you can both move on with your lives.“
You followed him towards the front of the house where he put his shoes on and checked if he had everything in his little backpack for this first patrol. 
„What if he wants to be in their lives?“ You asked, nodding upstairs to where both your children were still sleeping. 
„Do you think he wants to? He made himself pretty clear from what you’ve told me,“ Calvin said. 
„I don’t know. It’s been a long time and he seemed…. He seemed really sorry? I just….“ You took a deep breath, shaking your head.
„Nope. I am not gonna spend any more time thinking about Joel Miller. I’m gonna go upstairs and take a two hour nap and then I’m gonna go and explore our new home while my children are learning stuff in an actual school,“ you said. 
„There you go!“ Calvin grinned.
„Be safe today!“ You said, grinning back and hugged him quickly. 
„You too,“ he smiled, before he opened the door, your face falling as you saw Joel stand on the porch, his hand held up in a fist as if he was about to knock. 
„I’m here to pick you up for patrol? Tommy’s gotta stay home today,“ Joel said as he looked between you and your brother. 
„Well that is gonna be fun,“ Calvin said, winking at you, before he stepped out and pulled the door shut behind him, giving Joel no chance to try to say anything more if he wanted to.
You watched them through the window next to the door as they walked down the porch and then down the street until they were out of sight. 
Letting your shoulders fall while you exhaled with a sigh you shook your head before you made your way upstairs. 
This was gonna be a long day. 
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toruro · 2 years ago
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— ✧ oh my!
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pairing: xu minghao x reader
description: choosing to be roommates with vernon chwe would undeniably be one of the few life-changing decisions you made in your lifetime. he brought along support, friendship, and most importantly: a hot friend. — or, in which you’re roommates with vernon and you happen to fall for one of his many chaotic friends.
tags: smut (18+), oral (m receiving), just stupid mutual pining, fluff, seriously self indulgent, mentioned past toxic/controlling relationships
w/c: 13.6k
a/n: REPOSTED. this was my first attempt at a kpop fic ever and my first time writing smut so please bear with how awkwardly written it is. a fic that was supposed to be multiple parts but i couldn't come up with a real plot either so ummm … nevertheless i hope u enjoy!
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I. OH MY!
Moving in with Vernon is among your top life changing decisions, pretty much ever.
You two met in college, first sharing a calculus class together and occasionally studying together. Your friendship was budding—he was someone you could count on and never had to second guess. Spending more time together, you naturally grew closer, eventually reaching a point that when Vernon mentioned moving out of his shitty studio, you two immediately decided to find a place together.
Fresh out of college, it was the best decision in all ways possible—money was not nearly as big of a burden as before, and it was fun having a friend to talk to whenever you wanted in the vicinity of your own home.
It’s been an enjoyable eight months since you two started renting out this place together, and this evening, you’re in the kitchen cooking some brownies with an old package of brownie mix you found shoved in the back of one of your cupboards. You’re making a bit of a mess, but you can only hope that Vernon doesn’t mind too much—you will clean it, after all.
You’re in the midst of pondering about how long it’ll take you to clean up the little (big) splatter of flour you dropped on the ground when there’s a buzzing that comes from your phone. You huff, looking down at your fingers that are coated in oil and brownie batter. Setting down the bowl you were mixing, you then go to wash your hands as the buzzing dies out. After wiping down any moisture left on your skin, you pick up the phone to see a missed call from Vernon.
Did he forget something? you wonder, pressing the call back button and holding your phone up to your ear. You hear him pick up the line almost immediately, curious to know why he called you. “Hey,” you say casually when you know he can hear you. “Everything good?”
There are a few voices in the background that you hear, and you recall how he told you this morning he’d be hanging out with his friends. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s great. Look, I was wondering if it would be okay with you if my friends came over to our place? I would’ve asked earlier but I didn’t think we would be hanging out more and…well you get it,” Vernon sighs.
Your lips make a little ‘o’ shape, nodding to yourself as if Vernon could see you right now. “Yeah of course they can come over!” you tell him.
“Are you sure?” he clarifies, and you smile at the sincerity. “It’s just—I mean like they’re probably going to stay a while?” It comes out as a question and you laugh. “Don’t laugh at me,” Vernon grumbles, “I’m just making sure because they’re probably going to stay late in the night and there’s a lot of them.”
��Yes Vernon, I know there’s a lot of them—twelve to be exact,” you retort. “Yes, I’m okay with it, it’s not like I do anything these days anyways. I’ll be fine,” you tell him honestly.
“Okay, thank you so much,” he replies, relieved. “We’ll be there in like ten minutes.”
“Ten?!” you shrieked, quickly taking in the giant mess you made around you, baffled when you think about how you’re going to clean this up.
“Yes, sorry,” Vernon murmurs. “These guys change their minds so much and—ugh—you get it. We’re already close to the apartment complex so we’re just going to come up. Is there a problem?”
You hum, looking around you. “I might’ve made a bit of a mess in the kitchen, but…but I’ll figure it out.”
Vernon laughs. “I doubt they’ll care—most of them are dogs.” You giggle at the muffled protests heard in the background before he continues. “Anyways, thank you, I owe you one. See you in five.”
Your phone beeps when he hangs up and you stand by yourself in the middle of the kitchen. “Five?” you whisper to yourself, “Fuck! He said ten! But now five? Fuck!”
You whip your head around to look at the kitchen, grimacing as you’re dawned with the realization that there is no way you’re going to clean this up before they come. It takes you around 5 seconds to debate your options, finally deciding to just give up on trying to clean up and focus on finishing the batter and getting the pan in the oven.
You set your phone back down on the counter, picking up the batter bowl and giving it a few more stirs to rid it of any clumps before spreading it all out on a pan. It takes you a few moments to find the mittens and stick it in the preheated oven, a wave of relief washing over you when you’re done.
That’s one thing out of the way…I guess , you think to yourself, letting your hair down from the tight up-do you had it in earlier. Looking down at your black t-shirt and yoga pants, you take a few moments to try and dust off whatever flour rubbed off on the cloth. Of course, many stains still remain, but you figured this was better than nothing.
You’re about to grab a broom to clean up the floor when you hear a knock at the door. Sighing in defeat, you wash your hands once before heading to the door. You’re placing your hand on the door knob before you hear some clicking, hesitating to open once you realize it’s Vernon on the other end unlocking it himself. You step back from the doorway as the door is pushed slightly ajar, allowing you to poke your head through the small gap.
You’re met with the sight of multiple guys crowding around the door, a slightly frantic and honestly exhausted-looking Vernon leading the group. “Hey,” he greets as you step back once more, pulling the door open fully.
“That was less than five minutes!” you exclaim, trying your best to ignore the gazes of the unfamiliar faces behind Vernon. You’ve seen pictures of them before on Vernon’s social media and stuff but you don’t really know them at all—you’re only aware of bits and pieces from the stories he tells you occasionally.
“I’m sorry!” he puts his hands up in surrender, stepping through the doorway as you back into the kitchen that remained in the chaotic state you left it in.
“I didn’t have time to clean!” you whine, frantically waving your hand at the kitchen, allowing Vernon to take in the scene.
“Hey, hey, hey,” a new voice pops in and you see a hand snake it’s way around Vernon’s shoulders. A man with blonde hair and a chiseled face looks at you sympathetically. “It’s not Vernon’s fault,” he tells you calmly. “You can blame it on us for changing plans quickly. Don’t worry, Vernon feels bad about it, he told us.”
You sigh, a small pout making its way onto your face. “Fine,” you huff as the rest of the boys fill the large room that contains the kitchen and living room. You aren’t sure what to do now, watching them all shuffle around, taking off their shoes and attempting (key word: attempting ) to organize them in front of the doorway. You hadn’t really thought this far ahead—should you go to your room now? Would it be awkward to just hang around here while they’re in the living room (your kitchen and living room are basically one large room, so there’s no real way to avoid them)?
You’re glad Vernon picks up on your uncertainty. He turns to his friends, speaking up and saying your name, which catches you by surprise. “My roommate,” he clarifies, as they all look at you. You smile awkwardly, giving a small wave before averting your gaze. Vernon then turns around, pointing at the couch across the room, “Now can one of you set up the Mario Kart?”
The rest of the boys nod, beginning to break out into small conversations by themselves as they all make their way to lounge in the connected room, finally giving you a bit of space to breathe (not that they were making you uncomfortable or anything—you’re just a little shy).
“I’m sorry again,” Vernon tells you, and you can hear the genuinity in his voice. “What were you making, by the way?” he asks curiously, peering over at the mess.
“It’s okay! And I was making brownies—I found some old box mixes in the back of the cupboard and I figured I should make them before they expire,” you explain, looking over at his friends who have now settled in the living room comfortably. “Do your friends want some? I’ve made a big enough batch for everyone, I’m sure,” you tell him.
“Are you sure?”
“Vernon can you stop asking me if I’m sure,” you complain loudly, running a hand over your face. You hear a snicker come from the other side of a room, catching sight of one of Vernon’s friends seated on ground, a playful smirk on his face upon hearing your conversation. You feel your ears burn, quickly turning back to Vernon. “Yes, I just made them for fun. It’s better to share with them than have us eat all of it,” you chuckle, picking up a dustpan from the corner of the kitchen to begin cleaning up.
“Okay fine,” Vernon murmurs. “Thank you a lot,” he concludes, finally turning and joining friends on the couch. You begin your work to clean up the flour you dropped on the ground, getting lost in your own little world after slipping in your airpods, tuning out the noises of rowdy men and Mario Kart sound effects.
You’re practically done with cleaning the kitchen when you hear your timer go off, nearly skipping to the oven to turn it off and pull out the pan of brownies you’ve been putting so much effort into. The aroma floats through the room, and you catch the glances of a few of Vernon’s friends who peek over, trying to get a look at whatever you’ve come up with.
You smile to yourself, placing the pan on the counter before pulling out a knife to make nice, even pieces. It takes you a few moments, but once you’re done, you look down at them happily. Slipping on your mittens, you carry the tray over to the living room, a small, upwards curve pulling at your lips.
The boy you remember from earlier—the one who laughed at your reaction to Vernon—notices you first, and you can’t help but wonder how you didn;t recognize him from any pictures because holy hell he’s pretty. His eyes are looking at you through heavy eyelashes and there’s a coy smile tugging at his lips—he’s charming .
It takes you a good five seconds to realize you’re staring at him and another five to realize he’s caught you in the act. You whip your head away, looking at the rest of the boys, some of which who are intently focused on the game on the screen, others of which who are indifferent.
“Um, I made some brownies, if you guys want,” you tell them all, clearing your throat. “They’re fresh, so they’re a little hot, but you can wait for them to cool down.” You set down the pan on the table as the rest of them quiet down, some immediately spewing out words of gratitude.
“Aren’t you going to have any?” one of them asks, and you recognize him as the tallest. Mingyu? You recall some stories about him.
You shrug. “I kind of just made it because we had the boxes left…I think it’d be better if you guys shared it.”
Another boy with glasses sitting on the armchair speaks up. “You can eat it with us—our way of saying thanks,” he encourages. You throw out a close lipped smile, glancing at Vernon as if to ask if this was all just a show of politeness or an actual offer. He offers the slightest nod, and your once tight smile is let loose. You nod your head cheerfully, looking around you to find a spot to sit.
Noticing your confusion, the boy with the blonde hair and sharp face from earlier points to your right. “Sit next to Minghao, I’m sure there’s room there.”
You look down, met with the gaze of him , trying your best to hide your twinge of excitement as you silently shuffle over and sit down at the edge of the rug. Minghao . You like that name, you say to yourself in your head before shaking your head lightly—what are you thinking? You can’t be crushing on a guy you just laid your eyes on!
Inhaling sharply, you turn your head to the screen, grateful to see everyone else’s attention has also averted to the heated one-on-one match between the glasses guy from earlier (you now have learned his name is Wonwoo) and Mingyu.
They’re a loud bunch, but you can’t find it in you to mind—watching them all get along so well, so freely, is liberating in itself. You feel relaxed in a way you didn’t know you could be.
As content as you feel right now though, there’s an anxious thought buzzing at the back of your mind, and no matter how desperately you try to push it back, it keeps crawling its way up, especially when you feel your thigh brush Minghao’s .
Stop it , you chide yourself. Stop it! A little more harshly. Stop thinking about him!
“Hey…” the first time he says it, the words don’t quite reach your ears. “Hey,” he says again, nudging your thigh with his knee, increasing the minimal physical contact you two already had. You’re snapping out of your daze in an instant, whipping your head up to look at him . “You good?” he asks, and while you can tell he’s being sincere, there’s an almost playful smirk gracing his lips.
“Huh…oh, yeah,” you murmur, bashful that he caught you lost in your own head, thinking about him. “Just zoned out for a second,” you explain with an awkward laugh, pulling your legs into your chest and resting your chin on your knees.
“I could tell,” Minghao replies, and you can’t help but gaze at how cool he is as he reaches toward the coffee table, cutting himself a piece of the brownie. You watch him carefully as he takes a bite—you’re honestly just admiring his face, but you think you can brush off your shameless ogling as looking to see if he likes the brownie. He catches you staring, and you’re unsure of what he thinks of it, opening his mouth to talk again once he’s swallowed it. “It’s good,” he tells you, and you smile.
“I’m glad…it would have been kind of embarrassing if it wasn’t.”
“Don’t worry—chocolate isn’t even really my thing but I like it,” Minghao compliments, and you can’t tell if he’s being genuine or faux out of sincerity. Your grin brightens nevertheless as you sink back into the front of the sofa behind you, averting your gaze to the screen once again.
You’re feeling a little shy, of course, and the silence that now sits between you and Minghao isn’t uncomfortable or awkward, rather it’s…heart-warming. Your smile doesn’t leave your face as the room is full of cries and laughter and taunts as the results of the first round are revealed.
You sit in an amused silence, watching them for around another twenty minutes and even getting to play once (albeit your minimal effort—Mario Kart always gives you a headache anyways), before quietly standing up as the boys are cheering over Wonwoo winning yet another match. Minghao looks at you as you raise yourself above him, and your stomach churns at the way he raised a brow.
“Leaving already?”
You shrug casually. “I think it’s about time I get to doing my own stuff,” you explain, throwing out a small smile before retreating to your room before Minghao—or anyone else—can notice or say anything. You’re grateful Minghao didn’t make a scene about you leaving—it’s not that you don’t like the boys (far from it), but you’ve been tired the whole day and were looking forward to a nice nap.
Settling into your bed after shutting your blinds, you pull the covers up to your chin shooting a quick text to Vernon to make sure he wakes you up for dinner if you didn’t wake yourself up in time. You shut your eyes tight, doing your best to ignore the tight feeling that settles at the bottom of your stomach.
The second you identify the feeling, you squeeze your eyes closed tighter. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Your words don’t aid you, of course, because all you’re thinking about his stupid fucking Minghao and his stupidly hot face and his stupidly cute smirk and the stupidly handsome way he looks at you and— oh my god you need to turn your brain off right now.
You settle on not breathing, trying to pretend you’re dead, in hopes it’ll lull you to sleep. Of course, the effect is the opposite of your intentions—the lack of oxygen only reminds you of the way Minghao took your breath away when you first noticed him.
You huff to yourself, rolling your body over so your face is pressed into the pillow as you quietly curse to yourself. “God, I’m so fucked,” you whine, childishly pounding your fists against the plush of your mattress.
You’re being immature, you know you are—like a child throwing a tantrum—but who can blame you? He’s just so pretty and that smile of his is so endearing and you can’t help but find yourself so falling for him.
It’s a miracle that you fall asleep at all, let alone so quickly. You figure the exhaustion from the past week has finally caught up to you, even with the onslaught of attraction that came your way after seeing Minghao.
When you wake up, it’s much darker. The sun hasn’t fully set yet, but the sky is painted a deep red which is bound to morph to purple within a few more moments before finally sinking into nighttime. You glance around and you realize that the only thing besides the outside light that’s illuminating your room is your bed lamp that you forgot to turn off.
You rub your eyes a few times, still in a bit of a groggy, drowsy daze, before remembering what woke you up in the first place—the knock on your door. “Hello?” you croak out, immediately slapping a hand over your mouth at the mangles sound that leaves your mouth. It’s quiet for a moment and you’re able to identify the faint voices in the rest of the apartment as Vernon’s friends.
Your mind is suddenly racing through the possibility of who could’ve knocked on your door and— oh my god! What if it’s Minghao?! What if he heard y—
You hear your name being called out softly and your speeding train of thought falters. It’s Vernon. Thank fucking god. “You up?” he says through the door and you pull the covers off of you to meet him at the door. Poking your head through the crack as you open it slightly, you squint immediately at the intrusion of light to your unadjusted eyes.
“Good morning,” you joke, stepping back to let him in. “Thanks for waking me up…jeez, I was knocked out,” you murmur to yourself, rubbing a hand over your face as you walk to your dresser to find yourself a comb. “What time is it?”
“It’s like six…the guys were worried that they were being too loud when I told them you were sleeping,” Vernon muses, pulling up his phone to scroll through something. “But I was like nah she sleeps through everything—and I was right,” he says with a laugh as you roll your eyes, trying to make yourself more presentable as you pull your hair back into a low do.
“Whatever…did you guys have fun? I’m assuming so since they’re still here…”
“Yeah, we’re ordering dinner right now. I told you they were gonna stay for a while. That’s why I woke you up too: I was gonna ask if there was anything specific you wanted—if you wanna eat with us of course,” he explains, holding up his phone to display the food delivery app he had opened earlier.
“Would that be okay? If I had dinner with you all?”
“Yeah of course, no one would mind,” Vernon assures you as you look at yourself in the mirror, fixing your hair, narrowing your eyes at your roommate.
“You sure?”
“Okay now you need to stop asking me if I’m sure,” Vernon huffs with a roll of his eyes followed by your laughter.
“Okay okay, fine,” you reply. “Give me like two minutes I’ll come out and we can decide something with everyone,” you say, ushering Vernon out. He puts his hands up in surrender, turning around to join his friends in the other room. After he leaves, you debate with yourself whether or not you should change or join the rest with your pajama pants and loose fit t-shirt.
Overcome with the still lingering drowsiness from your nap, you choose comfort, and decide to just throw on a loose cardigan over whatever you’re wearing now before stepping out of the room. A yawn escapes your lips as you enter the living room, catching sight of all the boys lounging around—some are seated on top of the kitchen island, legs hanging over the edge, while others are laying down on the couch with their feet kicked up, the rest with their legs folded on the ground.
You try not to stare at Minghao too much when he enters your line of vision, but the task is becoming impossibly harder the longer you look: he’s laid back on the couch, feet resting on a blonde boy—Jun, you think is his name’s—lap, and you don’t miss the way his arms are crossed behind the back of his head, shirt lifting up just enough to reveal a little bit of the skin that dons his torso.
You begrudgingly peel your eyes away from the marvelous sight when you hear someone call your name, heads turning to you once they realize you’ve finally joined them.
“About time,” the boy with sharp features from earlier—Jeonghan—says as a greeting, waving you over as he stands next to Vernon. “Come on, help us decide what to order.”
“D’you sleep well?” another asks, and you turn your head to see who’s speaking as you approach Jeonghan. You recognize the boy now as Seungkwan, and you smile while nodding. “I swear me and Chan thought you were dead!” he exclaims jokingly as you furrow your eyebrows.
The boy next to him shoots Seungkwan a death stare before speaking up, much to your amusement. “What Seungkwan means is,” Chan begins with a huff, “we were playing a game and Mingyu lost and he yelled and we were scared we woke you up but nothing happened!”
“I told you, she sleeps through everything,” you hear Vernon mumble from behind you, not missing the joking look that’s toying with his face. You roll your eyes and hit his shoulder, loud enough for everyone to hear and cause them to laugh, smiling internally at the reaction you were able to elicit.
“That’s not true!” you whine, looking over his shoulder to see what restaurants they were choosing from.
“Joking, joking,” Vernon mumbles, turning his phone so you could see better. “We’re choosing between Mexican and Thai. You can choose which, since we’re all pretty evenly split.”
You hum for a second, thinking about which you’re craving more, finally settling on, “Thai!”
There are some cheers that erupt behind you, and your face heats up right away when you turn around to see some of them (Minghao in particular) with cheerful smiles and fists of victory in the air. “Thai it is!” Vernon announces. “Tell me what you guys want,” he says before looking at you. “The usual?” you nod with a grin, backing away as he places the order while the others call out the array of dishes you want, making your way to the seating area to sit down by one of the sofas (totally not because that’s where Minghao was sitting).
As you settle down onto the ground, Minghao speaks up. “Do you want to sit here?” he asks, sitting up from his horizontal position, pulling his legs back to make space between him and Jun on the couch. Your eyes shoot up, darting between Minghao’s deep brown eyes and the space on the couch.
“Are you sure? You can lay down if you w—”
“Nonsense,” Jun says with a chuckle, and you can’t even comprehend what’s going on until you feel Minghao’s cool fingers wrap around your wrist, tugging you up slightly as a direct invitation to take up the spot next to him. God his skin is so soft and his touch is demanding yet so gentle and it’s just enough to get the butterflies that you thought died off to be resurrected once more. “Our way of thanks for choosing Thai,” Jun tells you.
“Yeah,” Minghao agrees, and you try your best to focus on what he’s saying even if it’s impossibly hard with the way his body is pressed up right against you. He leans back as if to stretch his body, arms reaching back behind the couch and settling in the space behind you,
God, you feel like you could die on the spot—it’s not like he’s got an arm wrapped around you or anything so why does this feel so intimate? You can only hope and pray that he doesn’t feel the immense heat radiating off of you as you adjust yourself to sit more comfortably on the couch. In hopes to diffuse the tension that you’re kind of sure you’re the only one feeling, you speak up. “Do you guys want to watch something? A show? A movie?” you suggest reaching forward to pick up the TV remote from the coffee table.
“I’m down,” Wonwoo says with a shrug.
“Oh yeah!” Seungcheol speaks up, “I’ve been wanting to rewatch Batman for a while!”
“Batman then?” you, looking around at everyone as you click the remote to pull it up after you see the nods of their heads. You put on the movie, sinking back into the couch as you do your best to focus on the screen in front of you, and not the faint touch of Minghao’s arm to the back of your neck.
You’re successful for a bit, thankfully, but your peace of mind hardly lasts when the food comes in and everyone settles on the ground to eat—your and Vernon’s rule that there’s no eating curry on the couch. You, Minghao, and Jun slip from your spots on the couch and sit on the ground where your feet lay just a few moments ago, and suddenly you’re hyper aware of the little space you three are squished up against.
It’s a miracle, you think, if Minghao doesn’t notice the way your skin burns against his as his thigh is pressing right up against yours. This touch is different from the one in the afternoon—that one was…light…innocent. This one…this one’s different—it has you burning and yet shivers run down your spine. If you were a little bit more in your senses, maybe—just maybe—you would notice the tight lipped smile that tugs at Minghao’s li ps as well.
Oh my! Now the crush begins.
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II. COME TO ME
That night, after the movie, the food, and some beer, the twelve boys shuffle out of the house at around eleven, murmuring soft and tired “thank yous” and “goodbyes.” You can’t deny that you’ve been…a little stiff the entire evening. Sitting next to Minghao for a good 2 hours wore you out—it was a constant battle between your moral consciousness and your…budding feelings.
Stop looking at him! You’d say one moment, but then, god—oh my god his hands! No! Stop! He’s so close to me —stop acting like you’re in middle school! But his smile is just so pretty, god he lights up the room , but wait, stop being so cliche!
Naturally, you're convinced you’ve gone insane. Once the boys left, you and Vernon are left in the comfort of each other’s silence before beginning to make small conversation as you guys begin to clean up (the others honestly didn’t leave that much of a mess, you were just a bit of a clean freak).
“Your friends are fun,” you tell him quietly as you throw out the food containers that you finished earlier.  Vernon looks up at you with a small smile, and you can tell that he’s been anxious about you not enjoying your time.
“That’s good, I’m glad.”
“Why haven’t you brought them over before?” you ask curiously, pondering about how there might have been a chance you could have laid your eyes on Minghao ages earlier. “Aren’t they like your best friends?”
Vernon shrugs. “Well yeah, they are, but there’s a lot of them, like you saw. I didn’t know if you’d be okay with that, today just happened to be a day where it was hard for me to say no to them.” You laugh heartily at that—the image of Vernon being persuaded by twelve guys looking at him with puppy eyes. “I really am glad you liked them though. If it’s okay I’d like to have them over more,” he puts out tentatively.
Of course, you perk up at that—maybe a little too noticeably. “I’d love that!” you say excitedly, before shrinking back down at how eager you sound. “I mean like, of course I won’t barge on your time with them but they’re really fun to be around and I’d like to see them more often,” you explain, placing your hands on the counter now that you’re done cleaning all the dishes. Vernon seems to catch onto something and you want to die from embarrassment with the way he’s raising a brow at you.
But if he does notice anything, he doesn’t say it, instead choosing to shrug again and trudge away from the kitchen. “That’s great. Can I have them over next Saturday?”
You blink once then blink twice. “Of course,” you reply without a second of hesitation.
Saturday can't come soon enough. With your own work to do, you find your mind drifting constantly to the face of a pretty man who you can't seem to stop thinking about. You need to scold yourself every single time you realize you're daydreaming—god no, more like fantasizing—about a man who you've not only seen only once, but is one of your roommate's best friends.
Daunting as it is, you're finding this whole situation quite...fun. You can't remember the last time you've felt something so pure and rejuvenating as this crush—gosh, you feel childish for calling it that but what else can it be? Your heart palpates when you think about him, your eyes ache to see his beautiful face again, and holy hell you don't even want to get started on the raw goosebumps you get when reimagining the moment where his skin brushed up against yours.
It's Friday night now, and your stomach swims with anticipation of what tomorrow will hold. You're sitting on the couch in your living room when Vernon comes home from the gym, dropping a bag of food on the kitchen counter. "Hey, I was at the gym with Mingyu and he got me some leftovers that his mom made," he tells you as you look up at him.
"Oh sweet," you say, relieved you won't have to go through the effort of figuring out what to make for dinner. "Your friends are coming over tomorrow, right?" you ask, feigning nonchalance—fucking acting like tomorrow hasn't been the only thing on your mind for the past one week.
"Yeah, they're gonna come up pretty early actually. I was gonna ask you actually, if you wanted to come with us since we're planning on going to the beach later. It's gonna be pretty hot and we haven't gone down in a while," he explains, beginning to open the bag of food as you get up and join him, trying to ignore the endless thoughts that run through your mind.
"The beach? Of course I'd want to come—wait, would that be okay with them? I wouldn't wanna intrude in on your day."
Vernon shakes his head with a chuckle. "Oh my god can you stop?" he says jokingly, "they were the one's who suggested, actually. Not that I don't want you to come either—I do—I just want you to know that they enjoyed you being there last week just as much as you did."
"Really? Who suggested it?" You hope you aren't coming off as too curious—Vernon is perceptive, and you'd be a fool to think he couldn't figure out exactly why you're so insistent on figuring out who asked for you to be there.
He seems preoccupied though, taking the food out of the containers, much to your relief. "Uhh, it was Minghao I think. But like everyone agreed after that, Jeonghan even said he'd pay for your ice cream if you came."
You're convinced the universe is bullshitting you right now. Minghao? Your Minghao? Asked if you could join them? At the beach?
You might just pass out.
Naturally, Vernon looks at you funny. "Are you good? You look like you've just seen a ghost."
You shake your head nervously with a smile, turning back to grab a piece of fried chicken he pulled out. "No no, I was just thinking about if I even have any swim suits—I think I threw them out last summer because of Jungho," you murmur, and while it's not the full truth about what you were just thinking about, it is something that's on your mind. Vernon looks at you with a frown.
"You threw them out because of Jungho?" he asks sadly. "Fucking hell, I forgot how crazy he was," he murmurs, looking down to take his own bite of the food. You shrug solemnly, finding yourself in a mood a bit more down than you'd like.
"Weird times," you reply simply. "Think I could just go to the beach in like some shorts and a shirt? It's just water after all."
"Yeah that should be fine. We'd be leaving before noon so I don't think you'd have the time to buy new ones anyways," Vernon agrees, pushing himself off the counter.
You nod with a smile, ignoring the small pang of sadness you felt just moments ago. "Sounds good."
You're a heavy sleeper—you always have been—and given that it's a Saturday, it's no question that you're bound to sleep until Vernon is banging your door to make sure you aren't dead. Seriously. Saturday morning, despite your excitement, kicks off with a groggy start. You're rolling around in bed, ming hazy as you aimlessly try and figure out what time it is and what exactly woke you up since you know you don't set alarms for weekends. It takes a few seconds for the knocking on your door to register in your brain.
You blink once and rub your eyes, squinting so that they can adjust to the light as you peer at the clock, realizing that—shit, oh shit, it's almost 11. Didn't Vernon say that his friends were going to be here in the morning?! And that they were gonna leave before noon?! Shit!
You're scrambling out of bed, digging through your drawer as you call out a meek, "I'n up!" to whoever's knocking on your door, throwing on the only swim suit that you—thankfully—found tucked away in your closet the night before, covering it up with some shorts and a loose top that you picked earlier as well. You're quickly faced with realization that you still look like you just rolled out of bed which, to be fair, you had. That doesn't stop you from frantically brushing through your hair, trying to put it into a simple braid before finally feeling ready to open the door.
You're expecting to see Vernon, in all honesty, since that's how it went the last time they were all over. The man standing in front of your door is, in fact, definitely not Vernon. No, the man in front of your door is Xu fucking Minghao, and you think you're absolutely fucked by the way your knees go week.
"Hi, sorry, I hope I didn't rush you," he greets politely, stepping back, allowing you to take a good look at him. He's wearing a white sleeveless shirt that hugs hugs his body tightly, followed by a blue hawaiian shirt that sits loosely on his upper half. His lower half is adorned by simple swim trunks, and you do your very, very best to not stare at his calf muscles.
"I, uh..." your voice trails off, in a haze from how attractive he is as well from your fading drowsiness. You rub your eyes once under your glasses before responding. "It's okay, I don't know why I didn't get up earlier," you huff to yourself, looking down, "I thought I would."
"Don't worry about it," Minghao murmurs, and he brings a hand up to your head on top of your hair to ruffle it a bit. You might just scream. "It's good that you slept," he continues, walking back to the living room as you follow him. "We thought you'd wake up from how loud we were," he says with a chuckle as you enter the room with everyone else in it as they turn to you.
"Yeah," Seokmin agrees through a mouth full of muffin, Joshua lightly hitting his shoulder and chiding him for talking with his mouth full.
"She's awake!" Jeonghan cheers playfully.
"i know Vernon said you'd sleep through anything," Chan begins to admit, "but literally do not understand how you didn't wake up until now. I swear, there was a moment where Soonyoung was just screaming at the top of his lungs and we were all wondering if that was gonna get you to come out but Vernon didn't even bother to check."
Your face burns at the comment, but there's a warm sort of feeling that bubbles up in you when they all laugh—it's not a mean laugh, no, it's friendly and it's kind, and it's making you feel welcome.
"You guys just don't listen to me," Vernon huffs, tossing you an orange from the kitchen. "We're going to head out in like five minutes," he tells you. "We need to figure out the car situation because I think Wont's car and Joshua's can only five each and mine can hold four."
The next few minutes are spent trying to figure out who's going to go in which car, everyone deciding that Seungcheol, Seokmin, Chan, and Jun would be going in Wonwoo's, Jeonghan, Jihoon, Soonyoung, and Minghao would be going in Joshua's, and Mingyu, Seungkwan, and you would be going in Vernon's. You won't and say that you aren't a teensy bit disappointed that you don't get to sit with Minghao, but the beach is only a twenty minute's drive away anyways, and you feel this is also a chance to get to know Vernon's other friends better too.
The car ride is fun, and you enjoy Seungkwan's cheeky remarks to everything, laughing along to pretty much everything he says, as well as Mingyu's oddly calm hyperness...? You aren't sure how to explain it but there's a constantly endearing and jumpy aura radiating from the tall boy, yet he seems quite tame for the most part. Nevertheless, you're entertained and excited to spend more time with them as Vernon parks the car on the beach, pulling out his phone so he can figure out where the other's are.
"Ah" you murmur, as the fourteen of you are grouped up finally, making your way into the hot sand and towards the water. "This is like the perfect weather for the beach," you say, wiggling out of your slippers so you can walk on the sand with your bare feet. Seungkwan is standing next to you as you both trail behind the rest of the crowd a little, the both of you immersed in the warm feeling of sand between your toes.
"I love the beach," he says, throwing his head back to look up at the bright side. "I'm from a beach town, so when I found out that the beach—and all my friends—were here, I just had to move here too, you know?"
"The beach is nice, but I won't lie, it always makes me so exhausted after I spend a day out here," you admit, dragging your feet across the sand, basking in the hot feeling it brings. "Who knows, I'll probably go home and sleep so hard tonight that even Vernon might think I'm dead," you joke, causing Seungkwan to chuckle.
You two continue to talk about the beach and Seungkwan's home town as your group nears the water, everyone beginning to set up their towels and the picnic blankets you bought. Everyone helps out, and before you know it, Mingyu, Jeonghan, Seungcheol, Seokmin, and Seungkwan are ripping off their shirts and running towards the water. You watch them with amusement, standing up to shimmy out of your shorts and shirt.
Vernon looks at you, speaking, "You were able to get a swim suit?" he asks, confused considering your conversation with him last night. You smile somewhat sadly, and Minghao, sitting next to Vernon, can't help but notice.
"Uh, not really," you mumble, looking down at your black bikini. "I think Jungho just never knew about this one so I didn't get rid of it, and it was just shoved in the back of my closet or something. Anyways, I'm burning and I really want to get into the water," you conclude, turning around without giving Vernon a chance to respond.
As you run off into the water, Minghao turns and looks at Vernon him. "Who's Jungho?" he asks, shameless about his curiosity.
Vernon frowns as soon as he hears the name, and Minghao wonders just what kind of person this Jungho guy might be. "Just some ex. A really shitty one," Vernon murmurs, looking out at the sun. Minghao feels something uneasy churn inside of him. He gives Vernon that look, which tells him he wants to know more. "Like he just sucked. Didn't treat her right and shit. I didn't like him at all. None of her friends did. He tried to get her to throw out all of her swim suits and stuff because he didn't trust her at the beach or some bullshit like that."
"Goddamn," Minghao hisses, leaning back on his hands as he watches you play in the water. You looked like you were having so much fun—you were so at ease. He wants to chide himself for looking at the way your skin glistens in the sun, your bikini hugging your body in all the right places and in all the right ways. He knows he shouldn't be thinking about you like this, especially when he's only just met you a week ago, but that isn't to say he hasn't missed your quick glances. The way your eyes dart towards him, his body, his eyes, his lips, and quickly jump away when you realize he's caught you.
You feel the same way, he's sure of it. Minghao knows you feel the same tingles, the same sparks, the same rush of pure happiness when you see each other.
His thoughts are interrupted by Joshua speaking. "He made her throw out her swim suits?" he exclaims incredulously. "Insecure much," he mutters under his breath, and Minghao laughs along with that. "Good thing he's just her ex now—that sounds horrendous."
"Agreed," Minghao replies while Vernon nods, standing up to pull off his hawaiian shirt and top. "I'm gonna go into the water," he tells the rest of his friends before jogging lightly, following in your faint footsteps.
You're feet hit the water, and you stop in your tracks as you take a few moments to get used to the temperature change. You're looking up to see Seungkwan and Jeonghan waving you over to around twenty feet further into the water, but you call out to them to tell them to wait a second as you just melt in the feeling of the water against your toes. You stand there for a few moments before you hear a familiar voice coming up from behind you.
Oh. My. God.
You don't even want to turn around because you're scared of your reaction to seeing him shirtless—god, you aren't even sure if you'll be able to contain yourself! You think if you pass out, you'll just have to blame it on the heat, but still, how are you going to be—
"Hey," Minghao says cooly, stepping next to you in the water and holy crap, he's toned and he's practically glowing in the sunlight, the shadows hugging every peak and curve of his chest, his arms, his hands, his collarbone, his v-line—oh my god you need to stop. Practically ripping your eyes away from the wondrous view that is Minghao's body, you're forcing yourself to look up at his eyes (not that it's any less of a view—his eyes sparkle just as much as he does).
"H-hi." Did you just stutter? No fucking way you just stuttered. You think you might have to drown yourself right now. "I thought you were going to stay around with the others a bit longer," you say sheepishly. Minghao smirks at you, and he thinks now is his chance to try and fluster you up a bit more.
"Well I can't just let a pretty girl go into the ocean by herself, now can I?" he replies smoothly, taking a few steps in front of and waving you to follow him, and you would only if you hadn't just stopped breathing. How could he say that so casually!? How could he—wait. Wait! He just called you a pretty girl. He thinks you're pretty. Xu fucking Minghao finds you pretty, and he's saying it to your fucking face. You actually might die right now.
You can't even formulate a response, just tearing your gaze away from him and smiling shamelessly at the ground as you follow behind him slowly. Mission accomplished, Minghao thinks to himself, and something inside of him goes batshit crazy by seeing you so smiley and undone.
"W-whatever," you finally say as the water near to your hips as you two start nearing the others guys who are currently splashing each other with water. Minghao watches them, and get an idea, playfully splashing some water your way. You jump back quickly, eyes widening before you gasp. "You did not!" You quickly splash water back, but Minghao seems to see it coming and he moves out of the way. "Get back here!" you yell, running after him as he nears Mingyu, hiding behind the larger boy. With your eyebrows, you pay no mind to this, continuing to splash water everywhere, hoping that at least some of it will get on Minghao.
Mingyu puts his hands up, eyes scrunched up as he tries to block the water that's inevitably going his way. "Hey! Hey! Hey! Not me! Not me!" he cries out as the others laigh.
"Get Minghao!" you call out to the other boys who catch on quickly, joining you on your rampage against Minghao. Eventually there's just so much water splashing everywhere that within minutes you're all spent, gasping for air as you all try to rub the water away from your eyes. Once your vision is no longer blurry, you blink hard a few last times before turning your vision towards Minghao again and holy hell, you didn't think he could look any hotter than he did sitting in the sun but wow. His hair is wet and hanging low on his forehead but it's so messy and so hot and all you can think about is running your fingers through those locks yourself and making a mess in your own little way and—okay stop, you can't be thinking about this, especially not in public.
It takes a moment for you to fully calm yourself down before you're laughing with the other guys as they start to play a new game. You try to ignore the butterflies you get whenever you near Minghao, but it's a painfully hard task. You grow to accept the feeling as the minutes go on, simply existing alongside the bubbly feeling instead of pushing it down.
The next hour is spent in and out of the water, everyone else eventually joining those of you in the water, and you find that time is passing faster than you can even think. Time with them is fun, it's carefree, it's liberating, it's refreshing. Once you're all too tired and too spent, you're trudging back to the little spot you all have set up as everyone begins to pull out the food they packed. As you snack on your lunch, the fourteen of you sit in a circle and talk about the plans for the rest of the day.
"Let's play beach volleyball," Wonwoo suggests after everyone's finished eating, and it's no doubt that everyone else pretty much agrees immediately.
"Yeah, I saw a court in that direction, and I'm sure we'd be able to find a ball," Jihoon adds on as everyone stands up.
"I think i'll stay behind," you tell them all, leaning back on your hand as you fan your face with the other. "I'm kind of tired and I think I just need to sit down for a bit," you explain.
"That's okay, but you sure you won't be lonely," Vernon clarifies as he stands up.
You shake your head, but right before you're going to respond, Minghao speaks up. "Don't worry about her, I'll stay behind too." God, someone save you—your poor heart can't take much more of this.
"Oh okay, great!" Joshua says happily, the others standing up as well to go follow Jihoon to the volleyball court. "Catch you later!" You and Minghao wave at the rest as the drift off into the distance before being left in the silence that sits between you.
Minghao speaks first. "It's nice that you came, it's refreshing to have someone new, especially if they're like you."
You raise a brow at him, turning your body so that you're completely facing him, legs crossed as you lean forward. "Like me? What does that mean?"
Minghao gives you a sly smile, like he was expecting this. "Fun. Easy-going." He pauses. "Pretty."
"Is this your way of flirting or do you just enjoy being very direct about what you're thinking."
He laughs at that, throwing his head back. "Nice one. Those two are actually the same thing for me, so take that as you see it," he says with a shrug. You're face is on fire, and you're sure he can tell by now. Minghao catches on and he leans forward. "Is it working?"
"Maybe it is," you murmur nonchalantly.
"I think it definitely is," he shoots back with yet another smirk. God, you can't do this anymore. He's just so close to you and you don't know if it's because it's hot or if you're flustered or whatever but you're burning and not thinking straight and before you know it you're leaning in so close that you can feel Minghao's soft breath on your lips, stopping right before you two can connect.
It's the silent words now: kiss me, kiss me Minghao, and you almost think that this is true love when he leans in immediately after, heeding your silent requests.
Minghao's lips are plump and soft and taste slightly salty from the remains of the ocean water, in contrast to the sweet way he's got one hand cupping your chin. His thumb strokes at your skin and the touch is so light that you think you might go insane, gripping onto one of his biceps as you try to ground yourself in reality—in this moment, that you're scared might almost just be a figment of your imagination.
News-flash, it's not. In fact, this moment is very much real, very much happening, and very much one of the closest things to heaven you've experienced.
When you pull away, his hand is still on your chin and yours still rests on his arm. "I won't lie," you whisper, "I've been thinking about doing that all week."
"Me too," Minghao admits almost immediately, the revelation sending both shock and relief coursing through your veins. You let go of his arm, finally, and he drops his hold too, but you scoot closer to him so you're not sitting side by side as you face the ocean. "We shouldn't do anything else right now," he says quietly, and you know he doesn't have to say to know what you're both thinking. "I don't think you'd want the others seeing anything."
"You're right," you say with a nod, but you still interlace his fingers that are next to you with yours on the ground. Minghao squeezes your fingers back slightly in confirmation that this is very much okay. "Do you want to get something to eat? I saw some people selling fruit on our walk through the sand," he suggests after a few moments. You nod along, shuffling through the pile of clothes that are everywhere so you can find your shorts—it's sp warm out right now that your skin and swim suit have already dried off.
While you're fishing out your shorts and slipping them on, Minghao finds his hawaiian t-shirt and slips it on, although his bare chest is still very much on display, despite your poor heart's cries for him to cover it up—no! Don't let anyone else see! You blush bashfully at your newfound jealousy of others seeing Minghao the same way you do, but those thoughts are soon pushed away as he reaches out a hand to you to help you stand up. You grab his hand with a smile, following after him as you both head toward the fruit stands at the front.
"What do you want to get?" he asks you when he sees you squinting to try and see what they're selling.
"Pineapple!" you cheer when you realize one of the stands has your favorite fruit, and Minghao can feel his heart swell at the sound. "Can we please get pineapple? It's my favorite fruit and it's the best for hot days."
Minghao smiles and nods, and your heart nearly pops out of your chest. "Pineapple and mango?" he suggests as you stand in front of one of the stalls, pulling out his wallet. You nod before thinking for a moment, pulling out your own wallet before he has a hand a hand on your waist, pushing it away. "I'm paying," and it's not a question when he says it. You slowly push your wallet back into your pocket, mind racing with the thoughts of how a man can be as perfect as Minghao.
"Okay well," you reply, pulling your wallet back out in defiance, "I want to buy some fruits for the others too," you explain. "And I don't think it's fair for you to pay for all of that."
Minghao huffs, letting go of your wrist before turning back to guy at the stall. You two end up splitting the cost of five cups of fruits before returning to the set up on the sand that you have with your arms much fuller than before. Back once you're both sitting, you chat about whatever and you definitely forget how to breathe the multiple times that Minghao picks up a toothpick and feeds you the fruits himself. There's something so domestic and so comforting about the way you both smoothly speak, move, flow—being with Minghao is languid and despite your racing heart at the thought of being with him, you feel...relaxed.
This feels right.
After around an half an hour of talking, you find yourself laying on your back as you have Vernon's hat on top of your head as you listen to the ocean. "Should we go to find them? They'll probably be hungry by now and beach volleyball is starting to sound fun," you say, sitting up and readjusting Vernon's cap on your head.
"Bored of me already?" Minghao teases, sitting up as well, readjusting his shirt.
You roll your eyes. "You know that isn't it. The fruit isn't gonna taste as good later, even if we keep it in the cooler. It tastes better fresh," you reason.
"Fine fine," he murmurs in defeat and you grin, getting up to pick up two of the cups of fruit while Minghao grabs the other two.
"You know where they went?" you ask him, looking to your left and right, trying to recall which direction the boys left in.
"This way I think," Minghao says, pointing to your left and you squint, nodding excitedly when you see some volleyball courts in the far distance.
"Wow, that's pretty far," you think out loud as you both start walking in that direction.
"Can't handle it?" he coos, looking down at you as he takes his effortlessly long strides.
You scoff, turning your head away as you feign nonchalance. "Whatever."
"I'm joking," Minghao says quickly, reaching one hand over to pick up the cups of fruit your holding so that he's holding all four now. You're about to protest but he simply turns his arms away from you so they're out of your reach.
"Thank you," you say sheepishly, holding your hands behind your back as you two begin to speed up your pace when you both realize that the fruit will grow warm soon. It takes around seven to eight minutes for you guys to reach the volleyball courts, calling out to Vernon when you reach hearing range. "We brought fruit!" you yell, pointing at the cups that Minghao graciously carried for you.
The boys run over, almost all of them in a panting, sweating mess.
"It's like you read our minds," Seungcheol tells you and Minghao, picking a strawberry and stuffing it into his mouth.
Seokmin nods along, picking up a piece of mango. "We were just talking about how we're already hungry again."
"Yeah," Chan agrees, "and I think Mingyu was gonna pass out in the next five minutes if you didn't bring him something to eat." You all look at Mingyu who's sitting across from you, legs out and upper body leaning on his arms behind him as his face is scrunched up—he nearly looks like he's dying.
"Fuck you all!" he groans, falling back onto the sand. "I swear, Jun and Cheol were targeting me! They kept hitting the ball in my direction!"
Jun laughs at that, throwing a hand up to Seungcheol for a high-five. "Damn, I didn't think you'd catch on."
"How could I not!?" Mingyu whines, sitting up again to pick up another fruit. "I was on the verge of the death because of you guys."
Jeonghan ticks his tongue as everyone laughs, "Ah, don't be so dramatic Gyu, we were just having fun. Plus, who doesn't want to win."
Mingyu grumbles as he kicks some sand Jeonghan's way as everyone retreats back into the normal conversation of the plans next. After a few moments of discussion, you all decide to go back to your set up and stay there until sunset before heading home.
Once you all make your way back, the hours are spent chatting, building a moat (Mingyu and Chan seemed especially interested in this for some reason), and playing in and out of the water. As the sky begins to merge from blue to yellow to a deep orange, you begin cleaning up. At the moment, you aren't sure who brings it up, but the word "sleepover" gets thrown around and everyone is practically on their knees, asking to sleep over at Vernon and your place.
"Why our place?" Vernon complains. "Why not Minghao and Jun's? Or Joshua and Jeonghan's?" he begins throwing out the other's names.
"Because we like yours the most," Joshua says simply, everyone nodding their heads vigorously in agreement. Vernon huffs and looks at you for help, but you only shrug—you aren't sure how to respond to this and you aren't going to pretend like you aren't a teensy bit excited about the chance of Minghao spending the night (even though there'll be 12 other guys in your home).
"You guys owe us," Vernon finally says with a deep sigh, "big time."
The car ride back begins by Vernon, Joshua, and Wonwoo yelling at all of the passengers to not get sand into the car, and while you all desperately try to heed by their wishes, it's nearly impossible. You should've expected that nothing with this group is ever especially peaceful, but you're pleasantly surprised by how every event with them somehow has you bursting into laughter until your stomach hurts.
When you all return to your apartment, it takes a messy, chaotic hour or two for everyone to sort out when they would be taking showers, realizing that you should have planned this better once you knew that fourteen people would be scrambling to try and use your and Vernon's single shower. Once you're all washed up, you're left sitting in the living room, trying to figure out how you're going to pass the next few hours. Of course, one brings up Mario Kart, and suddenly they all perch against the couch trying to see who can beat Wonwoo.
It's now when you start to feel the exhaustion of the day catch up to you, recalling how you told Seungkwan that beach days make you tired. You excuse yourself to your room, locking the door behind you before slipping under the covers and nuzzling against the pillow.
In the silence—well not really silence, since apartment walls are thin and boys are loud, but still—of your own room, you find yourself catching a moment for you to properly think. And then it all comes crashing onto you.
Minghao. His lips, his eyes, his arms, his hands, his fingers, his lips (yes, his lips again), his touch, his gaze—and holy hell do you need more. You almost whine out loud into the sheets at the thought of having to wait for him any longer, your brain fuzzy from both your exhaustion and the tingling feeling that courses through your nerves.
Your mind races through the endless possibilities of what has happened and what can happen and before you know it you're falling asleep.
It's two hours later at around 8pm when you hear your phone buzzing by your chest, hardly lifting your head to see who it is. When you recognize the caller as Vernon, you hit the answer button, putting minimal effort into lifting the phone up to your ear as you grumble.
"God, do you ever stop sleeping?" he huffs on the other end, and you can faintly hear someone in the background laugh. You rub your eyes as you push yourself out of bed, rummaging through your drawer to pick out a cardigan to throw on.
"Sorry," you grumble with a yawn. "Beach days make me tired."
"I can see that. Anyways, we're in the living room ordering takeout, so hurry up if you want to have your choice," he threatens playfully.
"Alright alright," you mumble, trying to make your bed a little neater before leaving your room and heading towards the living room. They're all there, as expected, some movie playing on the TV as Jihoon is playing something on the guitar (where the hell did he get a guitar from?!) and Wonwoo and Mingyu are playing yet another game of Mario Kart on the Switch tablet.
"And she's here!" Chan exclaims, causing some eyes to turn to you. Minghao, sitting on one of the chairs at the kitchen island turns to you quickly, and the eye contact has you turning into mush immediately.
"When you went to your room," Vernon begins to say, distracting you from your thoughts and placing a hand on your shoulder, "I thought you were just going to chill for a bit. I didn't expect you to be napping."
Seungkwan comes in and swats Vernon's hand away from you. "You're so judgemental Sollie! Let her be!"
"Thank you Seungkwan!" you agree immediately, turning to raise an accusing eyebrow at Vernon. He rolls his eyes and steps away, holding up his phone which has the food order on the front screen.
"Hey, I'm ordering your food!"
You step back, putting your hand sup in surrender. "Okay fine! Fine! What are we getting tonight?"
"Mexican!" Jeonghan calls out. "It's my treat!" Everyone cheers as you tell Vernon your order, sitting down on the ground in the living room as everyone bunches up in the middle to begin discussing the next big problem you all have—sleeping.
It seems like no one quite thought this out earlier but your apartment is small and fitting fourteen people into this space seems near impossible, especially when you know that they'll all insist on you sleeping alone in your own room. It's a hassle to pull out all the extra pillows and bed sheets that you have, everyone trying to clear space to make as many makeshift beds on the ground as they can.
Somehow, you're all able to fit eight "beds" in the living room, Chan and Seungkwan being the lucky ones to squeeze into the extra space that Vernon has left on his bed and Jun and Jihoon calling the spots on the sofa and arm chair. From there on out, time seems to pass easily with the thirteen of them, and you're starting to understand how Vernon's been able to be their friend for so long. The hours pass quickly and by ten p.m., you're spent and tired from the day—too tired to go on.
Before you know it, you're helping them all make the final touches to the makeshift beds, bringing out as many extra comforters as you can in hopes to make sleeping on the ground a bit more comfortable. Bidding goodnight, you wave to them all and retreat to your room, but not before staring at Minghao for maybe a little too long. He stares back, of course, and anyone else would miss it, but you don't—the way he nods slightly, before turning away to say something to Jun.
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III. OUR DAWN IS HOTTER THAN DAY
It's eleven when you hear the knock on your door, and it's embarrassing how quickly you scramble out of bed to open it. On the other side, as expected, is Minghao. You're pulling him in without a second of hesitation, grabbing his neck and slamming his lips onto yours hard. His hands are making their way onto his hips immediately, moving up and down along your waist and torso to feel every inch of you that he can. You've both been waiting for this for ages, and it's about time you lose control.
"Hao," you whine softly as he presses you into your wall, his tongue running against the corner of your mouth. His only response is kissing you deeper, teeth clashing as you seek to explore every last bit of each other. Minghao swears he feels his dick twitch at the way you call him by his nickname, his fingers tightening their hold on you.
"You'll drive me crazy," he murmurs, kissing down your neck as you run your hands up and down his arms to feel the curve of his arms.
"That's the—ah—plan," you grunt as you sucks at one spot on your skin. Minghao continues peppering your skin with kisses before you feel like enough his enough, intertwining your fingers in his hair and pulling his head up so he can look at you. "Can I suck you off?"
Minghao is, undeniably, taken aback by your forwardness, and while his head his telling him to take his time with you right now, his other head is telling him to give in. In any other situation with any other girl, he would be denying you, taking his time to at least finger you first but he's been too pent up and too horny since the first time you kissed him to say no.
You're surprised when he quickly nods—you aren't the type to dive right into this kind of stuff but Minghao has been doing something that's reconnecting the wires in your brain, causing the overwhelming urge to sink to your knees for Minghao to crash into you.
The second you're on your knees, you have your hands on the waistband of his shorts, pulling them down at once with his boxers to reveal his length, long and pretty and hard with a bead of pre-cum dribbling off the end. You reach up, holding the base with a hand as you look up at Minghao to meet his eyes.
"Fucking hell," he groans, throwing his head back before you reply with a hiss.
"Quiet! They can't hear," you remind him, before adjusting yourself on your knees so you're in a better position to prod his tip at the front of your mouth. You drink in the way Minghao's breath hitches as your lips wrap around him, tongue swiping at the tip softly before pulling back.
"Don't—" he takes a deep breath, "don't be a fucking tease."
"'m sorry," you mumble, pulling your head back. "Can't help it." You kind of mean it and you kind of don't. Honestly, you aren't sure what to think—all you want to do is make Minghao feel good and do it now. Minghao notices the desperate glint in your eyes, and he takes this chance to wind his fingers into your hair, pulling it back into a makeshift pony tail so he can move your face in the face that he wants. The thought has you both going down into a spiral.
Minghao looks down at you so intensely that you think you just might cum from the look alone, but then he's speaking. "You okay with this?" he asks quietly, running a thumb along your lower lip with the hand that's not holding your hair back.
"Yes," you reply almost instantly, and your eagerness has his eyes darkening—you can see it.
"Fuck," he groans, leaning back again while he takes your hand that isn't wrapped around his length up to his thigh. "Tap twice if you want me to stop, 'kay?" You nod quickly, hoping Minghao will get the idea that you're beginning to grow impatient.
Message received, it seems because before you know it, Minghao is guiding your mouth back to the tip of his length, so you can take him in. Once you have your lips wrapped around him, he pushes you forward more, causing your eyes to widen as you realize he's nearly hitting the back of your throat. You take this as your chance to do exactly what you've been aching for, and you begin to bob your head back and forth.
The moan Minghao lets out is near perfection, and you're immediately encouraged to push more, to push deeper, to do whatever it takes to make him make that sound again. You're about to do it again before you feel your hair being tugged so that you're fully pulled off his cock. "Fuck," he chokes out, looking down at the sight of you with red, puffy lips and blown-out eyes. "Do that again," he demands, and you don't waste a second before you wrap your mouth around him and push down as far as you can. His hand is pushing at the back of your head, his soft words from above encouraging you to go harder to go deeper because you're his angel and he knows you can do it.
God, the words that are spilling out of his mouth are downright filthy but they're messing with your head and before you know it your moving your head back and forth in sync with Minghao's hips that are snapping forward slightly, causing him to batter the back of your throat. It's not the most comfortable feeling but the discomfort definitely not what you're thinking about when you hear Minghao's pants—his soft groans that escape his lips now that you've got him so desperate.
There's drool running down your chin and it's so messy but it's so hot and it has your pussy aching but you can't even think of relieving yourself—not when you can feel the vein on the understand of his dick against your tongue, not when his hand is laced in your hair with such a tight hold you think you might just pass out, not when you know he's so close to his release within minutes all because of you. "Fuck," he grunts again, snapping his hips once more, particularly harder and sloppier this time. "I'm gonna—fuck, I'll come soon."
Your jaw is aching by now but it doesn't compare to the throbbing you feel in your panties—god, you're going to go crazy. You use your hand to rub whatever of his length you can't fit in your mouth, using these last few moments to let Minghao jut his hip and shove your mouth further onto him and holy hell do you love it. You can feel it coming with the way he twitches inside your mouth and you can tell he's about to come when he pulls you off of him, before you're opening your mouth wide again, eyes silently begging him: inside my mouth.
It's like earliedirtr, when you kissed, except now it's so much more frantic, so much more ecstatic—Minghao hears your silent requests and only takes a second to push himself back into your mouth. You only need to suck once or twice before you feel it in your mouth—his cum, hot and shooting down your throat. He pulls out after that, you taking a second to swallow and then lick the glossy tip, your body filling with pride at the way you see his leg twitch.
"God—fuck," Minghao finally manages to say between sputtered breaths, "You're so hot." He pulls you up by the arm as he slips his boxers and shorts back on, placing a hand on your hip as he brings you up for a fierce kiss. Your lips are all swollen and Minghao is extra gentle with the way he runs his tongue along them, kissing you so softly you almost forget that he just face-fucked you less than a minute ago. He's pressed up against the wall right now, but takes this moment to flip you both so it's you who's leaning back.
Minghao pulls away from your lips, chuckling at the way yours chases his in the few seconds after, before connecting his lips to your neck like earlier. "Let me give you something in return, yeah?"
"Yeah," you agree, nodding dumbly the second you feel his hand slip down your shorts, ghosting over your panties.
"Fuck, you're so wet," he groans as he pressed down through your panties.
"Hao," you moan, as he rubs little circles on your clit over the fabric, "please, please, hurry." Minghao chuckles and usually you'd be embarrassed but then again, there's nothing usual about getting fingered by your roommates best friend while all of his friends are asleep in the next room over. Minghao still is going slow with you, taking an extra moment to slowly push your panties aside. You're growing so impatient, the throbbing between your legs getting so impatient, that you think you might start sobbing. "I've been so good, Hao, please? I wanna cum," you beg, meeting Minghao's eyes as you look up at him.
God, you're doing something to him, he thinks—you might just be the death of him. You just look so cute and so desperate and the way your eyes are already glossy has his dick hard again. The fact that he didn't even have to ask  you to beg for him is more than enough for a million thoughts to be racing through his mind, but in all honesty, the only thing he wants to focus on right now is making you come.
"Angel, fuck," he murmurs, into your skin, placing a kiss on your collarbone as he uses one hand to lift your shirt up to your neck so he can hold one of your tits, the other hand running through your folds so he can coat his fingers in your slit. "You wanna come?" he coos, prodding one finger at your entrance, and he thinks he might tease you a little longer but then he sees how quickly you respond and it has his resolve crumbling. He sinks is finger in and it's so long and so thick and reaches places in one go that you can't even even imagine of reaching with your own fingers.
You let out a deep sigh, instinctively grinding down on his hand so that your clit is also brushing against his palm adding to the stimulation. Minghao is gentle in the first few moments, moving his finger in and out at a steady pace before you murmur his name once more, causing him to push a second finger inside. "Oh my god, Minghao," you moan, and his eyes shoot up at yours, using the hand that was at your tits to cover your mouth.
"Quiet," he demands, as he continues to fuck you with your fingers. The sound of your wetness and his fingers against your gummy walls is echoing though the room and all you can think about is how dirty and how erotic this feels, and you moan again quietly again at the thought. Minghao's fingers still inside of you at the sound, and you feel your eyes widen and tear up once more. "Be quiet, or I'll stop," he murmurs, resuming his ministrations once he sees you nod.
"Minghao," you say quietly, throwing your head back when you feel him start to play with one of your nipples. "Feels so—so good," you hiccup, doing your best to keep quiet. He's fucking into you ruthlessly now, the pads of his fingers hitting spots you didn't even know existed, and you know your end is close by the way your vision nearly goes white. You grind against his hand harder, and Minghao picks up on the subtle movement.
"Gonna cum?" he breaths out and you don't even have it in you to say anything, your only response being your quickened movements. "C'mon angel, cum for me," he whispers into your ear and maybe it's his voice or maybe it's the way his fingers have you seeing stars or maybe it's the stimulation of your clit against his palm or maybe it's everything combined but you're cumming hard and fast within seconds around his fingers, and holy shit you think that might just be the best orgasm of your life.
You're left panting as Minghao's fingers slow down inside of you, twitching every few seconds from the overstimulation, before he's pulling them out of you and your panties completely. You want to hide your face, looking away when you realize how wet they are. "Why're you looking away?" Minghao asks, grabbing your chin so you can look at him. "It's hot," he tells you with a shrug, bringing his fingers up to your mouth, raising a brow. You're slightly embarrassed, yes, but you'd be a fool to try and deny him, opening up your mouth and suck your own wetness off him when he presses his fingers into your mouth.
After you swirl your tongue around him a few times, he pulls his hands back, replacing his fingers on your mouth with his lips, kissing you sweetly. You bring your hands up to his hair, moving your lips in unison as he places one hand on your waist, pulling your shirt back down to cover you.
"That was fun," you finally say when you're both pulling away.
"You're gonna drive me up a wall," Minghao mutters under his breath, taking a small step back. "But it was." He's silent for a moment before speaking again. "I'm gonna head back—wouldn't want anyone to wake up and find out I'm not where I supposed to be."
"You think someone would wake up?"
Minghao chuckles, and you feel those butterflies again. "You were pretty loud," he says, bringing a hand up to scratch the back of your neck.
"Whose fault is that again?" you ask.
"Dunno," Minghao says casually. "He must be super hot though."
You click your tongue as Minghao walks backward toward your door. "Hmm, I'll have to agree with that."
He smiles and kisses you hard one last time before ruffling your hair. "Sleep well angel."
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a/n. not even going to bother reading this through because i'll get embarrassed. dw guys i'm working on a better hao fic soon >_<
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solecize · 7 months ago
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  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. every summer on your grandpa's farm was real-life magic to your younger self, who left a piece of her heart in amber valley when the years went on and the town became nothing but a faint childhood memory. soon enough, you become rocked by his death and realize the dead end in your bustling city world. this leads to you making an abrupt decision. despite knowing nothing but designer purses and the corporate ladder, you uproot your entire life to take over your grandfather's old farm in the town you were desperately trying to remember - alongside a familiar face from your youth that permanently finds his way into your heart. 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: jungkook/reader 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. inspired heavily by stardew valley, friends to lovers, childhood friends, cowboy jungkook, small town alternate universe, slice of life, grief, growing up, mutual pining, jungkook as a parental figure 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 9k 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒. i don't even know what to say. i normally don't talk a lot and i'm mostly very unserious, but this is the last chapter of the farmouse and honestly, i'm super emotional about it. i'm really grateful for those of you who took the time to read and support this fic, every kind word has meant everything to me. i wrote this fic during a tough time when i needed warmth and joy, so i hope that this fic was able to bring even just a little bit of that for you while reading. (the writing of this chapter was quite literally delayed because my three year relationship ended midway through lol) this was also my first piece of writing in years and it's safe to say that i was able to fall in love with writing again because of this fic, so it'll always hold a special place in my heart. thank you times a hundred again <3 
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part ten: the midsummer festivalㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ   previous. epilogue. masterlist
  xxiv. the midsummer festival
squeezing through bodies in the stands, it took all of your focus to not drop the popcorn and drinks wedged in your arms. you should have asked someone to come with you, but you were in such a rush, not wanting to miss a thing. finally, you made it to your seat, plopping yourself in between jiwon and yoongi, and your eyes remained fixed on the lawn the entire time.
  amber valley had the most beautiful days you’d ever laid eyes on and today was no exception. you weren’t sure if it was because of the natural charm in the sleepy town or a biased sense of nostalgia towards the countryside that you carried. the midsummer festival was held at the peak of the season, where humidity was as thick as honey and not a single cloud escaped being casted away from the cerulean of the sky. you had no choice but to throw on a tank top and shorts because anything else would feel like suffocation.
  “i didn’t miss anything, did i?” you didn’t mean to scream, but there was no other way for your voice to beat the crowd amongst yourselves.
  jiwon shook her head, her hair splaying from underneath the baseball hat that she so obviously stole from her brother. “no!”
  the show-jumping competition was one of the newest additions to the fair and it proved to be one of the most popular. not only did the majority of the town come out to observe, but the fair also drew in an impressive number of visitors from elsewhere - some of which attended the fair specifically to watch the show-jumping. 
  “LETS GO KOOKIE!” screamed hoseok at the top of his lungs, holding up a customized poster board with a printed picture of jungkook and leo, depicting the words ‘go jungkook!’
  yoongi groaned, “can you sit down? they haven’t even finished setting up for the jump-off yet.”
  at this point in the competition, it was down to jungkook and another competitor, a man a few years younger named yesung. up until now, they both achieved the same score after the round performance and both cleared nearly perfect showings. the jump-off was a shortened course with tighter turns and higher jumps, intended to break the tie and determine the winner.
  the crowd began cheering when jungkook and yesung reappeared, standing and waiting for instructions. you found jungkook adorable in his outfit, a dark green show jacket and breeches that emphasized his leg muscles. you had to catch yourself from staring too hard at his thighs because it seemed like yoongi caught you, waving a hand in front of your face with a snicker. you only glared at him.
  it was mayor kim with the microphone, explaining the rules to the crowd. “and, to decide the order for performance, we have conducted a random draw. as a result, we will see. . .choi yesung go first!” he proclaimed, eliciting another round of cheers from the crowd.
  from where you stood, you noticed jungkook naturally relax his shoulders. for that, you also breathed out a sigh of relief. he stepped away to where leo was, making way for yesung to complete his round.
  when it was time to begin, everyone rose to their feet. from what you saw and heard of yesung, he was also a well-seasoned equestrian. he wasn’t as decorated as jungkook, but he had the advantage of winning the last show-jumping competition in the spring. you didn’t realize jungkook was out for vengeance, but he was indeed looking to reclaim his name.
  every fraction of a second mattered in the jump-off round and so, your eyes were glued. the pressure was on and you watched yesung charge ahead. he decided to take some risky turns, likely to shave off time. the first one was executed perfectly and you nearly jumped at the second, challenging turn. it was not calculated well, as it resulted in a rail down at the penultimate fence.
  “oh shit!” one of the boys yelped, watching the unfortunate accident. 
  yeung finished the course at a respectable, but flawed time. it was shame, since his speed and ability could have easily secured a victory. he knew it, too, judging by the disappointment in his eyes. you almost felt bad for him, if it wasn’t jungkook off to the side and gearing up for his turn.
  now, it was jiwon screaming as loud as she could. “YOU CAN DO IT!” she screeched, cheering for her brother and you joined in. 
  already mounted on leo, jungkook looked up, right at your section. he gave a small wave and you all went wild - even mrs. oh, who brought her own sign to cheer him on. you guys weren’t the only ones, though, as it seemed that jungkook was a favourite amongst fans.
  “jeon jungkook, jeon jungkook, jeon jungkook,” chanted the boys and you weren’t sure who started it, but you also began chanting, too.
  he readied himself and at the sound of the horn, blasted off. the tensions were thicker, with the stakes at hand and the pressure on a seasoned competitor looking to re-establish himself. you couldn’t imagine the weight of the crowd under the beating of the july sun, considering the heat made you already down your water bottle by the first hour of the competition and were in half the clothing jungkook was in. between you and jiwon was a shared usb handheld fan, as the two of you silently took turns holding it - eyes too glued to the show and shouting jungkook’s name.
  he was fast and sharp, yet every movement of his was so well thought out. at full force was a risky approach, but was so far bearing perfect results. you felt your heartbeat getting louder and louder, making your head pound with adrenaline. the last few seconds, the world became quiet and all you could focus on was jungkook. then, the eruption snapped you back into reality.
  “LET’S GOOO!”
  if someone was somehow not on their feet watching the final round of the show, they certainly were now, as jungkook zoomed to the end with no flaws and an incredible time. even you had to blink a few times, trying to see the time recorded clearly and realize your eyes were not deceiving you.
  “there’s no way that’s not a record!” you heard jimin exclaim and you didn’t doubt him.
  there was a hushed murmur over the crowd, as mayor kim stepped to the podium once more. tapping the microphone a few times, you and the rest of the crowd winced at the feedback that came with it. then, mayor kim spoke.
  “ladies and gentlemen. . .” he begun, loud and clear.
  jungkook was still catching his breath to the side, having yet to even take off his helmet. all eyes were peeled on mayor kim, as he took an extra pause for dramatics. if you weren’t also about to jump right out from your skin, you’d roll your eyes.
  “. . we have a winner AND a record setting time. jeon jungkook, young man, please join me on this stage.”
  no longer holding your breath, you roared along with your friends and the earth practically rumbled. jungkook’s smile was as bright as the day, as he whooped in response and raised his fist in the air. you were filled with nothing but joy. 
  before he stepped up onto the stage, jungkook displayed his integrity by walking towards yesung and enthusiastically shake the other man’s hand. yesung didn’t look too upset, more bewildered at the quality of performance that his opponent put on. they exchanged words, smiles reaching their eyes.
  “that’s my brother!” screamed jiwon, as if no one knew the obvious.
  jungkook then took mayor kim’s hand in one and attempted to balance his new, golden trophy with the other arm. in a split second, your friends, jiwon, and the oh family began filing out of the stands and you could hear hoseok yelling for you to follow. you widened your eyes, shuffling out of your seat as quickly as possible.
  of course, jiwon was the fastest and made it to the lawn first. she squealed, as jungkook embraced her in a hug and spun her around. the cheers didn’t falter and only grew when namjoon and taehyung momentarily put jungkook on their shoulders.
  you trailed behind everyone, nearly stumbling on your way down. you couldn’t see much, tiptoeing as far as you could. the chatter was still loud, but then the small crowd parted as you heard jungkook call out. it was your name. he was calling for you to come to the front.
  “oooooh,” someone said, but you ignored it.
  there was no doubt in your mind that your cheeks were a cherry red, but you refused to look anyone in the eye - even jungkook. you and your friends gathered around the podium with jungkook, as the event photographer asked you to move closer for a picture. everyone made way for you, as jungkook gestured for you to be the one on his right side, while jiwon and mrs. oh were on his left. 
  “congratulations,” you finally said, straining for your voice to be heard over the cheers. you still did not meet his eyes, finding yourself in a kind of shyness that was unknown to your normally headstrong personality.
  that was something that came natural to jungkook, having an innate ability to bring out parts of you that you didn’t even know existed. before moving back to amber valley, you walked around with your chin up, thinking that you knew everything you needed to know. 
  now, at 25 years old, you knew harvesting soybeans and playing cards at the local pub with your new friends. you knew the smell of the ocean in the sweltering summer and you knew riding horses in sunflower fields at sundown. looking at jungkook, you knew what it was like to be slowly, but surely, swept off your feet. the realization creeped up on you, a sneaky little thing.
  namjoon was the one holding onto leo, as your group huddled together for the picture. you instinctively hugged into jungkook’s touch, holding them in front of the camera.
  jungkook spoke, right into your ear. “i’m so glad i was able to have this moment with you.”
  that made you finally look up at his eyes and in that moment, a flash went off. this is when you also snapped out of your daze and despite his stare unwavering, you turned back to the photographer.
  “oh, maybe we should take another -” you started, knowing that neither you or jungkook were looking in the camera, but he waved you off.
  “no, no! this picture came out perfect,” the photographer winked at you and asked for everyone to disperse, before you could argue. something told you that you were going to see a picture of you and jungkook gazing into each other’s eyes on the front cover of the local newspaper.
  he proceeded to take a few more solo pictures of jungkook with leo, followed by some shots with the mayor. jungkook was supposed to be kept busy, but he continued sneaking glances your way.
  it was mrs. oh who gently tapped your shoulder. “now’s the time, honey. come to the store quick before he notices.”
  beside her, sangwoo rolled his eyes. “he’s going to notice, he hasn’t taken his eyes off of her.”
  regardless, you scrambled to follow behind mrs. oh. you weaved through the crowd, who all wanted to take a look at their champion in disbelief of the amazing time jungkook scored. the show began relatively early in the day, too, so the streets were only now becoming more and more full with the midsummer festival in full swing.
  the roads were blocked off for pedestrian access only, as the fair was one of the busiest times of the year for amber valley. today was a day that drew crowds from outside of town, as the festival was an adored regional celebration and served as a tourist destination. you wouldn’t be surprised if you were told that the midsummer festival attracted the highest visitors of any other day in the year for the town.
  carnival games, market booths and amusement rides were already set up since the morning and it was already getting tiresome to navigate through the festival goers. but, of course, you were trailing behind the force that was mrs. oh, who made way with ease with her commanding voice. 
  “time to get to work,” she sighed, pulling out a key from her pocket upon reaching the general store.
  you said, “it’s a shame you can’t enjoy the festivities, mrs. oh.”
  “oh, i don’t mind. i’ve lived in this town all my life, i’ve been here, there and everywhere when it comes to the fair,” she mused, unlocking the front door for the two of you. “business is business, the traffic the store will get is more important.”
  a cool blanket enveloped your skin once you stepped in and you were never more grateful for the invention of air conditioning in your life. she was right, though, as you noticed some people nearby the store and already eyeing it.
  “most businesses are closed today, but not us!” mrs. oh smiled, as she turned the sign by the window from ‘closed’ to ‘open.’
  this is how you knew how much jungkook truly meant to mrs. oh. “jungkook is real lucky for you to open late just to watch him,” you said, examining the front counter and spotting a pair of jungkook’s work gloves.
  “the store opens late every time he has a competition. sangwoo adores him and that young man and jiwon are family to us,” mrs. oh mused, seemingly lost in thought, before blinking back into the moment. “ah, don’t mind me. i almost forgot why you’re here, sweetie - the flowers are in the back room!”
  you thanked mrs. oh, following the direction that she pointed towards. jimin called you corny for getting jungkook flowers for your first official date, but you thought it was fitting, given the competition. it was even better with the results of the show and you could only hope that jungkook liked the ones you picked out. you figured that men deserve to get a nice bouquet of flowers at least once, too. 
  the bundle of fresh sunflowers were actually your favourites, but that wasn’t important. you grabbed them from the backroom fridge, wrapped in cellophane and yellow paper. this was when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket and your eyes widened, hoping it wasn’t jungkook just yet.
  unfortunately, your hopes disappeared, but the text still put a smile on your face - just because it was him at the end of the day.
  are you at the store? i saw you and mrs. oh lol i can be there in a few minutes. 
  you replied yes and came out to wait. the store already had its first customers within a few minutes of opening and mrs. oh was ringing them out. she met your eyes and winked, mouthing some encouraging words to you. 
  with the same smile on your lips, you mouthed a ‘thank you’ to her. 
  although you would have loved to loiter inside the store for the air conditioning, you were already bashful enough from everyone watching you and jungkook at the show and you would have rather met jungkook away from mrs. oh’s nosiness. she was lovely, but she appeared to be one of your and jungkook’s biggest fans and you didn’t want to act awkward, knowing that you were being watched.
  the bouquet was hidden behind your back, as you patiently waited outdoors. you didn’t know what to expect out of your day, but the longer you waited for jungkook, you grew more and more nervous. it was odd, knowing that the anxiety pooling at the bottom of your stomach was because of your childhood best friend. 
  the thoughts were promptly swept away when you caught sight of jungkook approaching you. he changed clothes from his riding gear, sans his favourite dirty boots that remained on his feet, and was now wearing a plain white t-shirt and denim jeans. you always had to take a moment to admire the definition of his muscles and his sharp gaze that left you breathless, but you were distracted this time by the bundle of golden flowers in his grasp.
  jungkook looked a little bit concerned at your expression, as you were stifling a laugh. you almost felt bad, but the sight was too funny for you to ignore.
  “hey - uh, what?” he furrowed his eyebrows at you.
  you revealed the identical bouquet from behind your laugh and he, too, looked dumbfounded. the wrapping and greenery differed from one another, but it was clear that the two of you picked your flowers from the same field by your houses. it was the same field the two of you rode on the past summer and played in as kids.
  “congratulations again for first place,” was all you could manage to say, offering your flowers towards him.
  jungkook finally broke out into a chuckle, shaking his head. “thank you. congratulations, for uh. . “
  “for what? being jeon jungkook’s date to the fair?” you chided, as you took his flowers in your hands.
  “shut up. am i not original or something?” jungkook asked. “like, come on, we got each other the same thing. i’m already failing at this date thing, aren’t i?” he joked.
  you rolled your eyes and flicked his arms. “it’s been, like, five seconds.”
  “ow!”
  “we’re not just on a date today, jungkook. we’re on a mission to win some prizes,” you declared. 
  jungkook tilted his head slightly with a smile growing. “oh, are we?” he paused. “then, am i allowed to hold your hand during this mission?”
  the idea startled you, but you didn’t shy away. nodding without a word, this was the signal for jungkook to pick up your free hand and interlock his fingers with yours. somehow, it wasn’t a moment that sent ringing sensations in your ears nor was it one in slow motion. it was familiar, almost, and felt. . . right. it felt natural, like it was coming home after a long day.
  you leaned in to whisper in his ear, “and thank you for the flowers. you remembered my favourite.” you weren’t even sure how he knew, but you knew that jungkook would only give you a gift with a well-thought out meaning behind them. 
  this time, it was jungkook’s cheeks who reddened slightly. he didn’t say anything else, only squeezing your hand and leading the way.
  ***
  jungkook was tired. you were tired of telling him to suck it up. you had gone two summers in a row without winning a single prize and you were determined to walk away from the fair with at least one thing. albeit, at this point, you ran out of tickets to play games and you knew jungkook had extra, since he received some from his parents, but your grandfather also gave him some. he was your last hope, as you begged him to use the last of his tickets to get you something.
  “hoseok hyung told me these games are rigged. can’t we just go do bumper cars, bunny?” jungkook groaned, as the two of you walked away empty handed from balloon darts.
  you pouted. “no. i just want one of those big charmander stuffies, i know you can win them!”
  “why don’t you play the games?”
  “because i’m bad at them, how do you think i lost all of my tickets so quickly?” you responded, crossing your arms over your chest.
  jungkook grumbled more complaints under his breath, while you forcibly dragged him towards the ring toss booth.
  “hey kids! giving the ‘ol ring toss a try?” beamed the booth attendant, who was the same every year.
  you weren’t entirely sure what his name was, but you and jungkook collectively agreed on calling him “carnival man” and he recognized the two of you each time the festival was in town. though you were about four feet of fury at the time, you had quiet rage against carnival man. you were convinced he cheated you out of getting the xl sized penguin prize last year and you wanted revenge. 
  “kookie will do it!” you exclaimed, smugly pushing your best friend forward.
  “yeah, whatever, kookie will do it,” jungkook rolled his eyes and handed over a single ticket to carnival man.
  carnival man happily took the ticket from jungkook. “it’s nice to see you kids again. you’re always together, huh?”
  “unfortunately,” the two of you said in unison, only for you two to shoot each other identical daggers.
  at this, carnival man guffawed in amusement and gave jungkook his sets of rings. 
  here, jungkook did not win. in fact, he didn’t win you a single thing that summer and you didn’t speak to him for the following day because of it. only a day, though, since carnival man was right - the two of you were always together. you eventually gave in after the first day of silent treatment and showed up to jungkook’s house with your horse, marshmallow, and convinced him to join you by the sunflower fields. he had scoffed, called you stupid, and then without missing a beat, came outside to accompany you.
  ***
  “kookie! and. . .bunny? is that you?”
  carnival man was a lot older than you remembered, but you weren’t sure if it was just the tricks of time playing a game on you. it seemed like everything was so much more youthful and bright in your childhood memories. however, the brightness in carnival man’s smile didn’t falter and it only widened upon laying eyes on you and jungkook. then, his eyes trailed over to your clasped hands together and it widened even more.
  “you remember me?” you gaped, as carnival man took your hand and shook it vigorously. 
  “of course i do! well, i remember the two of you, specifically,” he exclaimed. “i see jungkook here, but i’ll always remember how you two kids came around together every summer! you’re all grown up now!”
  although lines of age creased his smile and streaks of grey contrasted against his black hair, seeing carnival man again made you feel like you were ten years old all over again. the fair seemed so much more larger than life and this moment was one of those moments that reminded you of why you loved summer so much.
  jungkook smiled, “it’s nice to see you, mr. lee.” he appeared to be a bit shy, as the older man was fixated on the sight of you two holding hands.
  it occurred to you that carnival man was never his real name and meeting him as mr. lee felt like a call to the reality in which you were now a grown up. you realized that jungkook continued to see mr. lee at the fair over the years without you and didn’t feel the same rush of nostalgia.
  the only reason why jungkook couldn’t also shake mr. lee’s hand was the abundance of prizes nestled into his arms. the two of you left your sunflower bouquets at the general store - luckily, it was now busy with tourists wanting water bottles or sunscreen and the two of you avoided any gushing or questioning from mrs. oh - and thank god you did because you did not expect to be carrying around so many things. a mini teddy bear, a sheet of temporary tattoos, a t-shirt, some gift cards, and a larger kuromi plush toy that was double the size of your head.
  thankfully, jungkook held onto everything without complaint and remarked that you had no business carrying anything so long as he was there. the funny part was that you two had barely visited all of the games and the only reason why you’d won so many prizes was because you two were competing at each one.
  “and you know i refuse to lose,” jungkook said at the first game, which was a basketball shootout. 
  with the same competitive spirit, the two of you both did very well at each game and walked away with a prize from almost every one. it also probably helped that you were now adults with disposable income and could pay to participate in as many games as you wanted. jungkook had announced that he was ready to make up for his past failrures, never forgetting the summer that resulted in your silent treatment because of his inability to win you a prize. you didn't think that meant struggling to carry around your prizes within the first hour.
  now, mr. lee began setting up the ring toss for the two of you. “so, you moved back to amber valley, young lady?”
  “yes, sir. i’m running the family farm now,” you replied.
  “congratulations, bunny. that’s some hard, honest work, my best wishes to you!” mr. lee said. “you know, i always thought you two had quite a special bond, even at a young age.”
  jungkook avoided eye contact. “mr. lee, you’re kind,” he chuckled, nervously. 
  “i mean it! it fills my heart with joy to see you two here after all these years.” there was twinkle in mr. lee’s eyes as he spoke. “for some people, their universes are stitched together with unseen threads that will always lead them back to where they belong.”
  it was your turn to squeeze jungkook’s hand and neither of you said anything more, only exchanging a look.
  ***
  jungkook wouldn’t stop pouting and you weren’t sure what to do about it. it really wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t help the fact that, like most young girls, you got your growth spurt earlier than your male friend. you were a few inches taller than jungkook at this point and he was deflated to learn that you were tall enough for the rollercoaster, while he had yet to measure up.
  “sorry kid. maybe next year,” the ride attendant gave jungkook a small smile.
  you were disappointed, as well, as you and jungkook had waited nearly thirty minutes in line. all for jungkook to not be able to ride the coaster. you turned to him, who sighed.
  he said, “it’s okay, bunny. you can go on without me.”
  a part of you did want to get on the ride, especially after waiting for quite some time, but you didn’t hesitate to shake your head. 
  “no. i won’t go on without you,” you stressed, to which jungkook looked at you in shock. 
  he shook his head. “no, it’s okay. just go, we waited for so long.”
  “i said i’m not going,” you said, standing your ground.
  instead, you walked off from the front of the line, ignoring jungkook calling your name until he ran up to catch up to you. 
  “hey! what are you doing?”
  “i said i’d go with you. if you’re not there, there’s no point,” you shrugged, as if it was no big deal. “we’ll go next time. hey, wanna go see carnival man and do ring toss?”
  you didn’t wait for an answer, as you made a beeline for the ring toss booth. jungkook jogged up to you and you noticed that he was trying to hide the smile on his face.
  ***
  “jungkook. . .this is the kid’s roller coaster.”
  everyone else in the line was about half jungkook’s size, unless they were one of the parents giving the two of you a dirty look for getting on the kid’s coaster. there was no explicit rule that adults couldn’t ride the rollercoaster, but it was a very popular ride and jungkook had the privilege of cutting the line, as the two of you were given a free “fast lane” pass by mayor kim for being local small business owners.  the fast lane pass was costly and the majority of fairgoers opted to wait in the long lines.
  jungkook didn’t seem to care too much, though. “yeah, so what? you picked the giant swing and said the next ride was my choice.”
  “you’re pissing off the kids,” you whispered in a lower voice, as the attendant let out the last party from the rollercoaster. you guys were up next. “i thought you would want to do the drop tower or something.”
  “you promised me that we could go on the ride the last time we were here. remember, when i was too short?” he casually whistled. 
  “jungkook, that was, like, seventeen years ago.”
  he continued, “and i wrote it for our summer bucket list! you may have never seen it, but i was dying to go on this ride.”
  and that was how you found yourself crammed into a kid-sized rollercoaster at the very front with jungkook. with impeccable timing, it looked as though some of the boys were passing by. seokjin caught your eye first and tapped taehyung’s shoulder beside him, who then got namjoon’s attention.
  “oh my god,” you groaned, watching the three of them wave wildly at you and jungkook. 
  on the other hand, jungkook found this hilarious. he waved back and you covered your blushing face with your hands. you were already embarrassed from the cut eye given to you by the parents in line, now this.
  “have fun, lovebirds!” called namjoon, as seokjin and taehyung proceeded to take several pictures of you and jungkook from afar.
  ***
  “my tooth hurts!” you whined, shoving your cotton candy into jungkook’s hands.
  at seven years old, it was on the later side for you to lose your first tooth. you’d been wiggling it for weeks, but cried when jimin offered to rip it out of your mouth for you. this happened just a few moments ago, before jungkook yelled at him to go back to his mommy. 
  jungkook didn’t seem bothered and was actually pleased to double fist two sticks of cotton candy. “thanks bunny!” he ignored your complaints and happily continued snacking away.
  this was the first year that you and jungkook were permitted to roam around without adult supervision - kind of. as long as you were in vicinity of ten year old hoseok, who was sitting on a bench and playing on his gameboy advance, the two of you were free to play together.
  “this isn’t fair, i’m not allowed to eat anything,” you huffed. your grandfather warned you that any sort of sweet will just hurt and you were better off enjoying other parts of the festival.
  “don’t tell my parents, they said i could only have one cotton candy,” jungkook said, as he observed your sad appearance. “why do you look like that?”
  “like what?”
  “you look sad. it’s ugly on you,” jungkook mindlessly commented and you flicked his arm. “ow!”
  you glared at him. “don’t call me ugly!”
  “i said looking sad is ugly on you. so, don’t be sad,” jungkook replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
  when your expression didn’t change, jungkook sighed and looked over to where hoseok was sitting. the older boy’s eyes were glued to his screen and was now joined by jimin, who was cheering him on in whatever game he was playing. then, jungkook turned back to you.
  “what?” you asked.
  “wanna go watch the magician show?” he asked, grinning. “so you can stop being sad.”
  your eyes widened, as you took your turn to look over your shoulder at hoseok. “your mom said to stay nearby! what if we get in trouble?”
  “i dare you to come with me to the magician show,” jungkook countered, knowing that was the secret word that made you do just about anything. you hated the idea of losing dares to jungkook and had yet to do so.
  you knew you were going to get an earful if you left hoseok’s sight, who was supposed to be watching over you. then, you remembered that, earlier that day, hoseok refused to let you play a level of mega man on his gameboy and decided you didn’t care if you got him in trouble.
  “okay! let’s go!” your features suddenly brightened and you let jungkook take you by the wrist - not the hand because, ew, it was jungkook - towards the other end of the fairgrounds. 
  the cotton candy had already been consumed and jungkook tossed the paper sticks into the nearest trash can, as the two of you quietly giggled about your mischievous sneak-away. 
  ***
  unlike jungkook, jiwon had no trouble tracking down her sibling at any given moment, even with the large crowds gathered for the festival. she also didn’t seem to care that her brother was in the middle of a date, as you were the one to first notice that she was dragging sangwoo by the wrist in your direction. 
  “is something wrong, jiwon?” jungkook asked and there was a tinge of annoyance in his voice at the appearance of the younger girl. the two of you were engaged in somewhat of a flirtatious conversation and jiwon’s premise immediately killed jungook’s mood.
  “hi y/n!” she greeted and then she turned to jungkook wearing a sickly sweet smile. “oppa, may i have ten bucks?”
  “i gave you twenty bucks this morning,” he raised an eyebrow at her. 
  meanwhile, sangwoo was in awe of the amount of prizes in jungkook’s arms. “woah! you guys won all of those?” at this point, there was an addition of a frisbee and a stuffed octopus. 
  “i won most of them,” both you and jungkook said at the same time, resulting in a shared glare. 
  jiwon cleared her throat. “so. can i have ten bucks, please? we wanna get cotton candy!”
  “what did you do with the first twenty bucks?”
  “we went on the teacup ride! oh, and we got rice cakes and funnel cake and actual cake,” jiwon explained and went a little too fast, so you didn’t doubt that the kids did, in fact, consume all that sugar.
  it seemed like jungkook also didn’t doubt it and while you knew he wanted to scold her, you were taken aback to find him letting go of your hand to reach for his wallet in his back pocket. he sighed and, as he was still carrying all of your prizes, merely held it out for jiwon to fish a twenty out of. 
  “only because today is the festival,” he warned and muttered a second part under his breath, “and only so you can leave us alone.”
  you also had the same feeling that jiwon and sangwoo were not going anywhere without their ultimate goal, especially since the former seemed to have the same persistence that her brother had.
  “thank you, i love you!” jiwon declared, handing the wallet back to her brother and planting an exaggerated kiss on his cheek. “thank you, thank you! we’ll leave you alone now!”
  the pair scurried off together, as sangwoo also yelled out his thanks. they ran through the crowd together, giggling amongst themselves. when jungkook took your hand again, you were still lost in thought, watching the two purchase cotton candy from far away. sangwoo handed the first stick to jiwon and the two talked with one another, cheerily enjoying their treat.
  “don’t get me wrong, making sure jiwon is eating healthy is important to me, but today’s the fair. it’s special for her and sangwoo like it was for us, might as well let her off the hook for today.” he noticed you watching them and followed your stare. “they’re cute, aren’t they?”
  “they are. how long have they been that close?”
  “since they were born, basically. they’re always with each other,” jungkook shook his head.
  “do you think jiwon has a little crush?” you wondered aloud, as jiwon shoved sangwoo playfully for whatever joke he might have had made. 
  jungkook asked, “did you?”
  he was referring to the two of you as kids, as it was clear that your shared wistful stares at jiwon and sangwoo were a product of looking back at your own childhoods. two best friends that stood by each other’s sides at all times and grew up together. you had to admit, you saw your and jungkook’s reflections when you looked at jiwon and sangwoo. 
  upon hearing the question, you rolled your eyes. “you wish, jeon jungkook.”
  but, you weren’t entirely sure. adults joked that you and jungkook would grow up to marry each other, just from watching you two play chess or ride horses together. there was a magnetic force that naturally stuck the two of you together, from day one. you cared deeply for jungkook before you could have a comprehensive understanding of what it was like to have love for someone beyond your family.
  “pretty sure i had a crush on you. that’s probably why i was devastated when you stopped coming to the valley,” he casually mentioned, but you turned to him in surprise.
  “were you really?”
  “yeah. you were my closest friend.”
  “i’m sorry,” you said. “you were mine, too. i just thought you would forget about me, i guess. then, i don’t know - “
  jungkook cut in, “- we grew up. that’s what happened, it’s okay.”
  that was the reality of life. it was sad to look back on, but it was overshadowed by the incredible forces that brought you and jungkook back together. never, in a million years, would you have ever imagined standing in the middle of the amber valley midsummer festival with jeon jungkook ever again. 
  “ever since i came back, you became my closest friend again. even with all the weird stuff going on between us,” you admitted the last part with the roll of your eyes.
  although you were just teasing, jungkook’s expression turned serious. “hey, i am sorry about that. but, honestly. . . “ he sighed. “like you said, we became close friends again. and so fast, too.”
  “it got confusing, didn’t it?” you asked, looking at your feet. “when things seemed like it could be more, i kept trying to convince myself that, you know, this is just how we are. we’re friends, this is how we act and nothing more.”
  “you read my mind. you really did,” jungkook said, looking at you with a surprised expression. “i think i always knew, though. from the moment i saw you again.”
  you thought back to the first time you met jungkook again. you remembered how soft his hands were and how he managed to make you smile on one of the worst days of your life. that was just jungkook, though, and his way of bringing sunlight into your life, even when it was raining. 
  “i. . .i think i knew, too. but, i thought you just saw me as the little girl who used to play with you in your backyard.”
  he shook his head. “i thought you had so much on your plate. and, well, i’ll admit, i’ve had trouble even considering a love life since becoming jiwon’s guardian. she’s always come first in my life before anything else.”
  “i don’t blame you, i can’t imagine what the past few years have been like for you,” you said. “but, you were a tad bit stupid. let’s be real.”
  jungkook snorted. “yeah, i know i was stupid. believe me, the last thing i wanted to do was fully push you away. my childhood best friend came back into my life and i had to confront that she was now a strong, beautiful and incredibly intelligent woman that i had feelings for.”
  this was the first time that things were finally being said aloud and it was as if a thousand pounds was being lifted off of your shoulders. you were light, you were flying. 
  “but,” he continued. “i also had to confront that you were still my closest friend, the person who i can turn to when things go wrong. you were my friend who i laughed with and shared things with and i couldn’t lose that. i have the guys, but no one compares to how in sync we are.”
  “i know what you mean. we complement each other in this crazy way. . .” you trailed off. 
  mr. lee spoke about destinies stitched together and things meant to be. holding jungkook’s hand felt meant to be in a way that it was just natural. so did laughing with him and making him dinner and letting him do things for you, simply because he didn’t want you to do it by yourself.
  jungkook said, “do you see why i was afraid of this?” he gestured to the two of you holding hands. “if i fuck this up with you, i’ll lose both my girlfriend and my best friend. if i fuck this up with you, i’ll have let you down during a time where you just moved to a whole new town for a job with all these expectations that everyone has for you.”
  “you don’t have to be afraid of those things,” you murmured, gently placing your free hand on his arm.
  “i’m not. not anymore, when the what ifs and the idea of missing out on something good with you is even scarier.”
  suddenly, you took a look around your surroundings. it obviously wasn’t planned, but the two of you were having quite the intimate conversation just across from the face painting booth and the craft stalls. you tugged jungkook into a random corner, where there was a lone chair in between walls.
  “can you put the prizes down for a second?” you asked.
  jungkook was confused. “huh?”
  “can you put the prizes down so i can kiss you?” you commanded, giving him a pointed look. 
  then, he chuckled and without hesitation, placed your various trinkets down on the chair. you rolled your eyes with a smile and jungkook hooked a thumb on one of the belt loops of your jean shorts, using it to pull you closer. he leaned in, placing his other hand at the small of your back.
  jungkook, too, smiled into the kiss and like everything else, it felt natural. it felt like home. you melted into his arms as you always do, softly kissing back. 
  although you could have stood there forever with him, lost in his touch, you had to pull away. “you scared of that?” you raised an eyebrow.
  “shut up man,” jungkook said, but stole a quick peck from you before he let you go from his embrace.
  you thought you would never stand in the middle of the amber valley midsummer festival with jeon jungkook ever again. the world worked in mysterious ways and you were proven wrong. more so, you weren’t just standing with jungkook. you were a woman standing in the middle of the town that built your hopes and dreams. you were standing in middle of the fair that never shook off its magic, even years later. you were standing with the man who made you realize that home wasn’t just a place.
  ***
  it was safe to say that you freaked out when jungkook showed you what he stole from his dad’s tool box. you were so scared that jungkook had to beg you to not snitch on him and even threatened that he would tell your grandfather that you’d been making him help you complete your chores in the chicken coop. 
  “it’s just a pocket knife, bunny.”
  “it’s sharp! you could hurt yourself!” you hissed, stepping a few feet away from him like he had mad cow disease.
  jungkook sighed and ignored you, walking over to where your sitting spot was. this year, the midsummer festival fell on what was easily the hottest day of the summer. the heat wave was unlike any other you’d experienced so far and you were surprised that the fair was still going on. the two of you had completed just under ten minutes at the bouncy castle before you insisted you needed a break.
  the two of you had found a random tree to sit under, as you split an ice cream float to beat the heat. this is when jungkook said he had “something cool” to show you.
  you had no choice but to leave your grumbles under your breath, finding your place beside jungkook since the ice cream float was in his hand. “you’re hogging it all,” you complained and he handed it over to you.
  “are you done freaking out?” he asked.
  “what are you even gonna do with that?”
  it was as if jungkook was waiting for you to ask the question. “this.” he clicked it open and turned behind him, to the lower part of the tree of which you were leaning on. 
  your eyes were wide, as jungkook began scratching away at the wood. the first letter you could make out was “J” and you nervously looked around your surroundings. it didn’t seem like anyone was paying attention to the two of you, occupied with the festivities or trying to not pass out from the sun. 
  jungkook completed a “K” and moved on to slowly carving out your initials. “so we remember today!”
  “it’s gonna be there forever,��� you sputtered. “my grandpa says that trees last forever if no one cuts them down. . .so, since our names are there, we’ll be best friends forever!”
  a toothy grin stretched across jungkook’s face. “yeah! we are. we’re going to be best friends forever.”
  ***
  considering jungkook’s victory earlier in the day, several people stopped to congratulate him throughout the afternoon. he was hard to miss and he was also just a generally well-known person around town.
  that was precisely why you were scared shitless that someone was going to recognize either of you committing vandalism. 
  “you’re covering me, right?”
  “i am, but can you hurry up?” you demanded through gritted teeth, trying to look over your shoulder to see if anyone was looking your way without looking suspicious.
  from the unassuming eye, it looked like you and jungkook were merely engaged in conversation. . .but facing the tree. you were sat cross-legged, turned to the tree as if it was another person talking amongst yourselves. instead, you were trying to cover jungkook carving into the wood.
  you shook your head. “i can’t believe our names are still on this.”
  “we did say it would be forever,” jungkook reminded you and if he wasn’t holding a pocket knife in his hands, you would’ve shoved him over.
  you always remembered that your and jungkook’s names lived on the bark of a random tree in town. there was no way you could forget the scolding the two of you received for defacing town property. 
  “what if they notice? we’re adults now, we could get charged for this,” you said.
  “then we say it was always like this,” jungkook concluded and caught your eye. “what? what are they gonna do, tell my mom and your grandpa?” 
  at that, you did let out a laugh. “i can’t imagine what they’re thinking, watching us from up there.”
  then, jungkook clicked his pocket knife close and scooted over on the grass, as he’d been blocking his work from your view the entire time. he made the initials deeper into the wood, ensuring that it wasn’t going anywhere, and added a heart around the letters. once depicting you and jungkook as friends “4ever,” it was now framed by the heart and shifted its meaning altogether. 
  “they likely made a bet about us getting together and the winner is probably rejoicing,” you suspected and jungkook nodded in agreement, snickering under his breath. 
  your hands grazed over the carved design and you thought back to the moment where the two of you first sat under the same tree. 
  jungkook said, “pretty good first date, huh? scammed some booths out of their prizes, pissed off the entirety of amber valley elementary and we vandalized town property.” he looked pleased with himself leaning against the tree and wrapped an arm around your shoulders.
  with your legs stretched out and the crime completed, you were able to relax underneath the protection of the leafy branches. “mhm, definitely a first date that i’ll never forget,” you laughed, placing your head on jungkook’s chest. 
  the two of you bought an ice cream float for old times sake and jungkook brought it closer to you, so that you wouldn’t have to move. it seemed to be a constant - jungkook doing things for you just because. just because he didn’t want you to do it yourself. just because he wanted to do something for you.
  “i have arms, you know,” you joked, but took a sip regardless. 
  he responded, unfazed, “i know.” 
  the smile the two of you shared confirmed your thoughts. whether you were kids and jungkook walked you home every time just because or you were adults and jungkook wanted to spend his whole day fixing your windows just because. that was just how he was always going to be for you.
  “well, do you know that a first date implies that there’s going to be a second date?” you decided to be bold for once, as all your anxieties evaporated when you accepted that jungkook was both your best friend and a person you held feelings for - a coexistence that you realized was possible and even exciting.
  jungkook scoffed. “second date? did you not see the tree, you’re stuck with me forever.” his joke resulted in you playfully hitting his chest. 
  “did you just curse me with some witchcraft on this tree or something?”
  “rock hard, huh?” he asked, ignoring your accusation and was referring to you hitting his chest. “trust me, i know.” jungkook flexed his arm muscles and although he was kidding around, it was quite impressive and distracting.
  “i’m totally objectifying you right now, by the way. i can admit that now, right?” you smirked. “‘cause i’ve been checking you out for months.”
  at that, jungkook genuinely appeared to be a bit sheepish, his ears first turning pink like they always do. “drink your float, man,” he insisted, using it as a tool to shut you up. you nearly choked from holding in your laugh as you took another sip, which made him laugh, too.
  you sat up slightly, but still mostly laying your body weight on your jungkook, only to crane your neck to see the letters carved onto the tree. the carving waited for you two for years to return. a part of you couldn’t believe that it was jungkook you were stealing kisses and blushing from. 
  “but, for real,” jungkook spoke, now also looking at his handy work. “a second date is nothing when the tree says you’re stuck with me. that means you’re my girl.”
  he held your chin with his free hand so that you could look into his eyes as he declared the last part. jungkook’s gaze was warm and you now understood what it was like to feel butterflies in your stomach. it was always one of those things that you read about in books and couldn’t comprehend. you understood the moon and stars and you understood economics and science. this moment with jungkook was a pair of fresh eyes that opened your heart to a feeling of completeness that felt like it had always been there. 
  “wow, you’re not even going to ask me? this is the worst confession ever,” you managed to tease, your smile failing to fight the happiness spreading throughout your body. 
  jungkook retorted, “i saw it in your eyes, you were about to ask me first. i had to beat you to the punch, you know i hate letting you win things.”
  “i think i won either way here,” you beamed, placing your head back onto jungkook’s chest. you could feel his heart beating loudly, but he didn’t seem to mind and planted a kiss on your forehead. jungkook wanted you to know how much this moment meant to him, too. 
  your first summer back in amber valley was nothing you expected. your grandfather’s last wishes for you were for you to discover nature and what it meant to make real connections with people. it was a head first journey that you embarked on, all by yourself. yet, months later, you found yourself surrounded by a family you found yourself and the beauty of a town that you thought was forever going to only live in your memories and dreams. you found belonging. 
  jungkook taught you that home wasn’t a place. home was the sunday market with friends. home was doing things you would have never imagined yourself doing, like salsa dancing and paddle boarding. home lived in watching your hard work bloom into something greater than yourself, with each harvest and each morning you spent feeding your animals. home was even a person - a horse-riding man who was unselfish at his core and loved breakfast for dinner. 
  you dreaded the end of the night, as it seemed like the midsummer festival was a blissful magic that you never wanted to end. you could have lived in this moment forever. 
  “goodnight, bunny. i’ll see you tomorrow,” jungkook said, as the two of you stood at the doorstep of the farmhouse. he leaned down and met you in a soft kiss, where he murmured a thank you against your lips for the perfect day you shared.
  there, you realized that the magic didn’t have to end. there was always a tomorrow to look forward to when everyday was a new day to fall more and more in love with your best friend. the magic in the air didn’t even have to end when the last of the summer heat turned into the first chill of autumn, amidst the shifting hues of the leaves. the magic kept you warm throughout the winter and blossomed in the springtime. 
  for the first time in your life, you no longer had to walk away from jungkook come the rain of september. when you were younger, it seemed like the magic of amber valley only existed in the warmer months. summer was a special place in your heart and the memories of your youth, but home was something that stood by you through the changing seasons.
𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓. @shellyyy177 @myseokjinji @teddybeartaetae @jalexad @sstrongstyle @wobblewobble822 @seokout @taiwan0618 @firelcrds @xwniazx
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snowysosturn · 22 days ago
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Allies or Affiliates? - Chris Sturniolo Part 5
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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8
Pairing : Y/n x Chris Sturniolo
Summary : Law student Y/n’s life takes a turn when she reconnects with Chris, her brief teenage flame who is now a dealer for a dangerous Boston drug gang. As their bond reignites, Y/n is drawn into Chris’s tumultuous world, where rival gangs clash and loyalty is everything. Balancing her love for Chris with her own ambitions, can their connection survive the chaos that threatens to pull them apart?
Warnings : MDNI, mentions of drugs, angst, shooting
Boston’s underworld had always been run by a handful of key players, but none were more notorious than Vince "The Hammer" Moretti and Hector "Hippo" Morales. Vince and Hippo had grown up together on the streets of Charlestown, both products of a harsh environment that carved out two very different men with the same ruthless ambition. They had been best friends once, inseparable, even. But all that changed nearly a decade ago.
Vince and Hippo had gotten into the drug game when they were just 18, barely out of high school, seeing it as their way to climb out of the projects. By their mid 20s, the pair had gained control of the Boston drug trade, a stunt many tried and failed to accomplish. Vince was the brains of the operation – calm, calculating, and deadly when crossed. He earned his nickname "The Hammer" for how swiftly and brutally he’d put down anyone who threatened their dominance. Hippo, on the other hand, was more volatile, a man ruled by his greed and short temper. He was massive, both in size and personality, often using fear as his primary tool to keep everyone in line.
For over a decade, Vince and Hippo controlled everything. They had a near monopoly on the flow of narcotics into the city, from the port of Boston to the streets of Dorchester and Roxbury. The two men seemed unstoppable, until Hippo’s greed got in the way. About ten years ago, Hippo started skimming off the top, undercutting Vince on deals, keeping higher profits for himself. He became sloppy, reckless, and started making decisions without Vince’s input. What had once been a steel bonded partnership was now on the verge of collapse.
The final straw came when Vince discovered that Hippo had been using his contacts to double cross him, dealing directly with Vince’s suppliers behind his back. It was a betrayal Vince couldn’t ignore. The fallout was abrupt, violent, and left a bloody trail across Boston. Vince cut ties with Hippo, taking half the runners with him, forming the Crimson Cartel, while Hippo established his own gang, H Block.
From that moment on, the city became a battleground. Vince ran his operation with precision, focusing on high level deals, ensuring loyalty through a mixture of fear and rewards. The Crimson Cartel quickly gained a reputation for its methodical and ruthless nature, mirroring Vince’s own personality. Meanwhile, Hippo’s H Block was more chaotic, driven by greed and violence, their methods sloppier but no less dangerous.
The two gangs have been at war ever since, battling for control of Boston’s streets. Every few months, a hit would happen, bodies would drop, and the balance of power would shift. Neither side was willing to back down, and both Vince and Hippo seemed content to continue the bloodshed, each trying to prove they were the most dominant force in the city. 
Chris’ POV
The date with Y/n had been a whirlwind. As I sat in my car after dropping her off, my mind spun with memories and emotions I hadn’t felt in years. Seeing her again was like being thrown back into our younger days, the way she used to make me feel when we were 15 year olds. Back then, she was my escape, my light in a life that was already starting to get messy. We’d shared laughs, dreams, and moments that felt so innocent compared to the world I’m in now.
I didn’t want to admit it, but I was falling for her fast. Like, way too fast. It was almost unsettling how quickly all those old feelings came rushing back. She had this way about her, she was kind, smart, and driven, that made me feel like I was missing something in my life. That same pull I felt years ago was stronger now, maybe because I knew I had lost her once before. And once she slipped through my fingers, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d made a huge mistake disappearing on her.
The truth was, when we were younger, I knew I didn’t deserve her. As much as I liked her, I could see the path I was heading down. Nate had just been roped into dealing when I started seeing her, and I knew I wouldn’t be far behind. That world wasn’t for Y/n. I wanted to protect her from it, from me, so I made the decision to just vanish from her life. No explanations, no goodbyes. It wasn’t fair to her, but at the time, I thought it was the only way to keep her safe.
When I saw her name pop up on my phone last week, after all these years, something in me shifted. I hadn’t thought about her for a long time, not really. But deep down, I knew there was still something there. And when we ran into each other in court.. I couldn’t believe it. It felt like fate was giving me a second chance, and I wasn’t about to let her slip away again.
But tonight freaked me out, especially when she told me she was studying law. That hit me like a punch to the gut. A lawyer and a drug dealer? What a fucking disaster waiting to happen. I tried to play it off, tried to act like I was proud of her – which I was, don’t get me wrong – but inside, I was panicking. I couldn’t shake the irony of it. She’s out here studying to defend people like me, and I’m knee deep in the shit she’s probably going to spend her career trying to put away.
It felt like the universe was playing some sick joke on me. I knew I had to keep her at arm’s length. Getting involved with her now, when my life was more dangerous than ever, was a bad idea. But I couldn’t help it. I wanted to be around her. I wanted to know her, to make her laugh like I used to. The problem was, this life I’m in? It doesn’t leave room for that.
When Vince called me tonight, I knew it was only a matter of time before shit hit the fan. He said there was going to be a hit on H Block, something that didn’t sit right with me. I don’t do that kind of work. I stick to runs and keep my head down. But Vince never calls me for this stuff unless it’s serious, and I knew better than to question him outright.
"Chris" his voice had been urgent, the kind of tone that told me there was no room for excuses. "We need someone to cover a run during the hit tonight. I know you don’t do the other shit, but I need you on this."
I sighed, gripping the steering wheel. "Why do you need me, Vince? Can’t someone else handle it?"
"Because I said so. Be at the spot in an hour. Don’t make me ask twice."
And just like that, the date was over. I hated that I had to cut things short with Y/n. I could see the disappointment in her eyes, the way she tried to hide it but failed. I wanted to tell her the truth, to explain why I couldn’t be the guy she needed me to be right now. But I couldn’t. I had to keep her at a distance, for both our sakes.
As I drove toward the meeting spot, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was dragging her into the same mess I’d tried to protect her from years ago. And the worst part? This time, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to pull away.
The night air was cold as I pulled up to the spot Vince had sent me. It was an old, run down lot in Somerville, far enough from downtown Boston that we could move quietly, but close enough to the action. I parked my car and killed the engine, my headlights slicing through the darkness before flicking off. I grabbed my green bandana from my side door compartment and wrapped it around my face, I had a bad feeling and I knew I needed to maintain a low profile. The place was deserted, except for a few cars parked near the back of the lot. Danny’s truck was one of them, its dented side glinting under the dim streetlight.
I got out, pulling my hoodie over my head and scanning the area. Danny, Sully, and a couple of the other guys were already there, moving crates from the warehouse to their vehicles. I walked over, hands stuffed in my pockets, trying to keep the unease from showing in my eyes, since thats all they could see.
“Chris” Danny greeted me, nodding as he hauled a large duffel bag into the back of his truck. Danny was Nate’s cousin, and we’d known each other for a while, though we weren’t exactly close. He was a little older than me, with the same family connections that kept Nate locked in this life. Sully, a stocky guy with a shaved head, was leaning against the hood of his car, smoking a cigarette. His eyes flicked up when he saw me.
“About time you showed up” Sully muttered, flicking the cigarette to the ground and crushing it under his boot.
“I had things to take care of.” I replied, my voice low.
I popped the trunk of my car and started loading the packages Danny handed me. Each one was tightly wrapped, small but heavy. The weight of them felt like a reminder of how deep I was in now, how this life had a grip on me I couldn’t shake. As I lifted another bag, the headlights of a car suddenly illuminated the lot. The beam cut through the darkness, making all of us pause.
Sully narrowed his eyes. “Who the hell is that?”
I glanced up, watching as the car – a beat up Sedan with tinted windows, slowed as it approached. My pulse quickened, a cold chill running down my spine. Something wasn’t right.
“Fuck” Danny muttered, stepping away from his truck. “That ain’t one of ours.”
The car came to a stop about twenty feet away, its engine idling. For a moment, no one moved. The air was thick with tension, the kind you could feel deep in your gut. Then, just as Danny opened his mouth to speak, the passenger window rolled down and the flash of metal caught my eye.
“Gun!” I shouted, diving behind my car as shots rang out.
The lot exploded into chaos. Bullets ricocheted off the concrete and metal, shattering the quiet night. I heard Sully swear loudly as he ducked behind his car, pulling a gun of his own from his waistband. Danny fired back, unloading rounds toward the Sedan as the other guys scrambled for cover.
The H Block bastards must’ve gotten wind of the hit Vince planned on their crew tonight. They were trying to get ahead of us, throwing the first punch. My heart pounded in my chest as I crouched low, waiting for the spray of bullets to end. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The sedan’s tires squealed as the driver floored it, the car swerving wildly as it sped out of the lot. The gunfire ceased, leaving only the ringing in my ears and the smell of burnt rubber lingering in the air. Slowly, I stood up, my hands still trembling.
“Everyone good?” Danny called out, his voice tense. He lowered his gun, his eyes scanning the lot.
None of us were hit. Somehow, we had all managed to avoid getting shot. But that didn’t mean the situation was good.
Danny walked over to me, still holding his gun as he checked his surroundings. “You alright?”
“Yeah” I muttered, though my chest was still tight with adrenaline. “What the fuck was that?”
“H Block” Sully spat from behind his car, his face contorted with anger. “Those fuckers must’ve heard about the hit we’re pulling tonight. They wanted to get us first.”
I nodded, but I couldn’t shake the unease settling deep in my gut. This was too close. I wasn’t supposed to be part of the violence, just the guy who kept things moving. But now, I was part of it whether I wanted to be or not.
Danny shoved his gun into the waistband of his jeans and turned to me, his expression serious. “Listen, man, you need to get the fuck out of here. Go on the run and keep your phone on. We’ll take care of the rest.”
I looked at him, my jaw tightening. “What do you mean, take care of the rest?”
Danny’s eyes darkened. “We’re still pulling the hit on H Block tonight. This shit doesn’t change that. Just get the run done, and keep your head down.”
My stomach twisted as I nodded. Danny and the others quickly piled into their cars, engines roaring as they sped off into the night, ready to finish what had been started. I was left standing in the cold, my car now loaded with the packages I was supposed to deliver. But my mind was somewhere else, on the shots fired, on the faces in that car, and on the fact that everything had just gotten a hell of a lot more dangerous.
As I climbed into the driver’s seat and started the engine, I couldn’t stop thinking about Y/n. She had no idea what I was caught up in, no idea how close I was to a world I’d tried to keep her out of. But now, I wasn’t even sure I could keep myself out of it.
a/n: posting a day early bc i need a social media cleanse tomorrow lol
taglist: @mattybearnard @sturn-33 @ncm9696 @yourfavsturniologirl @crazy4jewel @sodakid1234 @stupendoustreewinner @lovealwayssturniolos @matthewsturniolosss @m4ttsmunch @loveexxx @ilusa @starkeyszn @wonnieeluvvr @dylnblue @valxrieq @maggot3647 @cigarettecemetary @ribread03 @chrisstvrns @bandasaruswrx @noplaceissafeanymore @amexiass @witchofthehour @mattssgf @jetaimevous @v33angel @ivysturnss @urmom69lol @ashlishes @watercolorskyy @sturnioloshottiekay @amelia-sturniolo3 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @pvssychicken @alizestvrnss @lvrsturniolo @slutniolo @spaghetti835928383 @marrykisskilled @sturnsxplr-25 @bxtchboy69 @vickytaa @anikaistg
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beyourownanchor6 · 8 months ago
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you've got game
—idk this silly idea came to me after last nights ep and i just blacked out and wrote whatever this is <33
words: 1.1k | rated: g | read on ao3
They’d been lying there for about ten minutes with nothing said between them. Buck had asked Eddie about Chris and the letter, listening to Eddie work his thoughts out, offering commentary when needed.
The conversation with Chris had devastated both of them, but especially Eddie. With Chris getting older, the difficult questions kept coming. They were both finding them harder to answer.
For the time being, Eddie had settled with the fact that Buck had talked Chris through it and that Chris had eventually read the letter and put the picture of his mom back up. It was a start.
It was a serious matter, one Buck knew Chris wasn’t going to be “over” with a single letter, but it helped; for now.
Even so, Buck couldn’t help the silly little thought that kept creeping in the back of his mind. He let out a little laugh for it, quickly trying to cover it with a cough. Eddie didn’t buy it.
“Care to share?”
Buck cleared his throat as he turned to lay on his back. Eddie laid on his side next to him, facing Buck.
“Nothing. It’s uh, it’s dumb. And probably not uh, not appropriate right now.”
Buck knew if he turned toward Eddie he’d find his boyfriend directing a raised brow his direction. And so, Buck avoided it, turning back onto his side and away from Eddie. Still, Eddie wasn’t having it.
Eddie snuggled up behind him, snaking his arms around Buck as he pulled him in close, nuzzling into him.
“Inappropriate thoughts have never stopped you from sharing before.”
Buck snorted as Eddie squeezed him tighter.
Buck tapped his fingers over Eddie’s, stalling.
“Well it was just, I was kind of—proud.”
“Of what, that I didn’t have a panic attack about the whole thing?”
Buck smiled as he brought one of Eddie’s hands up to pepper kisses over. “Well yes that, but I was thinking more that ya know…our son has game.”
A groan fell out of Eddie and he was turning away and abandoning Buck in an instant. Buck rolled to face Eddie, propping his head up on his arm.
“C’mon babe, he has five different girls going after him? I’m just saying; that’s pretty impressive.”
“You’re insufferable.”
Buck pushed into Eddie’s space, nosing into him.
“I mean, I’m just saying…we know he doesn’t get that from you.”
A playful yet warning pinch came to his side, Buck yelping a little for it as he pushed further into Eddie’s space. He made the smart decision not to say anything further.
Eddie’s arm reached out, his fingers landing on Buck’s hip. His hand fit right into place, molding into Buck.
“I got you, didn’t I?”
Buck was grateful the room was dark enough to hide the flush of his cheeks. Even after all these years, Eddie still had such an effect on him. He hoped that would never change.
Buck slid his hand down to meet Eddie’s and he threaded them together.
“I’m not immune to your charm like the others.”
Eddie snorted. “You just like my ass.”
Buck quickly shifted their positions so he could get his hands on Eddie, practically pulling his boyfriend on top of him. He squeezed Edddie’s ass before kissing him a little filthily.
“Well it is a nice ass. But it’s not why I fell in love with you.”
A smile fell off Eddie’s lips, one he placed to Bucks.
“Then tell me cowboy, what did lure you in?”
Buck preened for the dorky pet name. He brushed his hands up and down Eddie’s arms a little absently as he thought over all the things that made him fall in love with one Eddie Diaz.
“Well, you’re badass under pressure, you let me into your adorable sons life, you always have my back, you’re my best friend, you’re the best dad I know, and you’re probably the most selfless person I’ve met besides my sister. You’re always there when anyone needs you, and adorably afraid of technology. You make me wanna be a better person and you just…well you love me for—me.” Buck squeezed Eddie’s arms before leaning up to kiss him and whispering into him. “And you have a nice ass.”
Eddie rolled his eyes then kissed Buck again, sweet and slow.
“Thank you Buck, for always being there for us. Chris looks up to you; trusts you.” Eddie looked down to him, those browns wide and endearing. “I don’t know what we’d do without you.”
Buck smiled up to him while pulling Eddie closer.
“Good thing you’ll never have to find out.”
Their lips met in the middle, soft yet passionate kisses shared between them. They eventually settled back into each other, Buck on his back with Eddie nestled in close.
“You know,” Eddie started, tapping a finger across Bucks bare chest. “I’m pretty proud of you too.”
“Why’s that?” Buck asked, settling further against Eddie.
“Well, I know how badly you wanted to congratulate our kid for being a total ladies man, but you somehow managed to refrain. I know that must’ve been hard for you.”
Buck sighed as he tossed his head back. “God Eds that was so badass of him! I wasn’t meant to be the un-fun parent.”
Buck pouted while Eddie snickered. Eddie sat up to kiss his pout away, Buck easily accepting it.
“You know, I still have pretty good game.”
Eddie raised his brows. “You think so?”
Buck puffed out his chest a bit. “Oh I know so.”
“Prove it,” Eddie challenged, Buck not backing down.
Buck pulled Eddie back against him, wrapping him up tight as he whispered in his ear, sliding his hand down the expanse of Eddie. “So are you just excited about this talk or is that a—“
“Buck—go to bed.”
Buck totally had game, for the record. Eddie was no fun sometimes.
“You didn’t even let me get to the punchline!”
“That’s because I already know it dork. You use it on me all the time.”
Well, when Buck found something good, he stuck with it. Especially at work when it tended to send a blush across Eddie’s cheeks as Eddie gave him a firm yet bothered warning.
“Fine, but I have more, that I will be wooing you with starting tomorrow.”
Eddie chuckled in his hold. “Can’t wait. But just remember, you already have me. I’m all yours Buck.”
He did love the sound of that.
Buck snuggled in closer, Eddie tilting his head up so their lips could meet.
“And I’m all yours.
Just when Buck was finally settled and on the verge of sleep, Eddie’s voice filled the silence.
“You can use your cheesy lines to pick me up any day.”
Buck smiled into him. “Yea, or you know uh, you could-you could use them on me.”
Why did they need game when they had each other?
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tagging squad below; lmk if you wanna be added or removed <3
tags: @loserdiaz @redlightsandicedtea @loveyourownsmiilee @monsterrae1 @buddierights @swiftiebuckleyhan @honestlydarkprincess @barbiediaz @spotsandsocks @justsmilestuffhappens @eddiiediaz @djdangerlove @eddiebabygirldiaz @elvensorceress @jacksadventuresinwriting @stanningsky @wh0re-behavi0r @ronordmann @spaceprincessem @transbuck @disasterbuckdiaz @giddyupbuck @wildlife4life @betty-boom @hippolotamus @thewolvesof1998 @watchyourbuck @underwater-ninja-13 @pirrusstuff @nmcggg @theotherbuckley @louis-tenn @the-gayest-wug @buckley-diaz-rules @muppetbuddie @gamer-kai @blorbodiaz @heartshapedvows @trashbaget @steadfastsaturnsrings @buckbuckgoose @wikiangela @hobbitnarwhal l @shortsighted-owl @pirrusstuff @goldencherrymooon @murder-trio @daffi-990 @greenfairrryy @mattsire
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beomcoups · 4 months ago
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Food Wars (teaser)
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𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You and Mingyu are rival but friendly chefs competing for a spot to be an executive chef at a new location in Madrid. This position would change your life; no matter how attractive he is, you WILL get that spot.
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: chef!Mingyu x chef!reader
𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, angst, eventual smut, 18+
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: cursing (more warnings will be in actual fic)
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 1455 (just for the teaser, fic will be longer)
𝐀𝐍: This fic is for the world tour collab hosted by @svthub. Part 1 of the actual fic will be posted on July 21st. Thank you to everyone who helped me brainstorm ideas. I will tag everyone in the actual fic :)
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You knew it would come to this, and as good as you are at hiding your poker face, you are pissed. A food competition, really? You almost burst out with laughter when Rich, the restaurant's owner of The Palm Cuisine, said it. The Palm Cuisine is one of the most popular restaurants in the U.S., with three locations in New York, Los Angeles, and Miami. He is opening a new restaurant in Madrid, Spain, and wants to take one of the sous chefs to make an executive chef. You are the better chef, and everyone knows it, but in the spirit of “fairness,” you have to go against another person for the owner to make their decision. That other person is no other than Kim Mingyu, the golden boy of the restaurant who is almost as good as you in the kitchen. Almost.
It’s not like the position was directly promised to you, but deep down, you always assumed it would be yours. You have been there the longest, know the menu from top to bottom, and have even stayed extra nights you didn’t have to for the benefit of the restaurant and the team. You eat, breathe and shit this place. It feels like a slap in the face. “Put the knives down, girlie,” your coworker and good friend Shena nudges you. 
You sigh, gently setting down the knives you used to cut your potatoes. “I’m fine,” you whisper, turning around and rolling your eyes. “I am totally fucking fine.” You close your eyes and take a small, deep breath, centering yourself before returning to reality. Disappointment would be an understatement if you had to describe how you feel. The Palm Cuisine is the first and only restaurant you have worked at, starting as a prep cook and working your way up to sous. You always imagined yourself making it to Executive chef—overseeing the restaurant's menu, preparation, cooking, ordering, and operations. The place specializes in Spanish food, and you can confidently say you can plan a Spanish menu with your eyes closed. Tapas, gazpacho, paellas, you name it, you’ve done it. And yet, you must constantly prove to everyone (mainly the men) that you deserve to be here. It’s exhausting. You can feel everyone’s eyes on you, wondering if you will snap and break a rolling pin or cry in the bathroom.  Instead of giving them the satisfaction, you turn around with a beaming smile. “Well,” you quirk an eyebrow. “Let the food war begin!” “Oh, splendid!” Rich squeals. “I was worried you would be upset.” “Why would I be upset?” You cock your head. “I mean, it’s only fair, right?” He chuckles nervously, and you fight the urge to roll your eyes. “Why don’t you and Mingyu come into my office, and we can discuss it further?” You nod as he beckons Mingyu over and follows him into his mid-size office. It smells of fresh linen, courtesy of a scented oil on his bookshelf. It looked like a typical place of work, complete with a desk, laptop, and hundreds of documents related to the restaurant. It’s cold in contrast to the warmth of the fires in the kitchen, and you long to be back in front of the heat, cooking from your heart.
 You’ve been cooking since you were ten, watching your grandmother in the kitchen slave away for all the major holidays. You remember how it felt when you made your first apple pie. You went to the local market and bought the freshest green apples you could find. You cut them up like she did, adding the right amounts of nutmeg, brown sugar, and other needed ingredients. You made your own crust and watched everyone marvel at your dessert. You guess you could say that your grandmother stirred your love for cooking. God, you miss her. 
You hear Mingyu shuffle behind you, the scent of chocolate and cream greeting you before he does. You nod, moving to the seat furthest away from the door to give yourself space. You don’t hate Mingyu; you two are friendly with each other and help each other out when needed. He’s always treated you with respect and never condescended you when you made a suggestion. Your eyes undoubtedly work, and you would be a liar if you didn’t admit he is handsome. His model-like looks, toned body, great hair, and he just happens to be a good cook? It’s almost not fair. But fortunately for you, you haven’t fallen for his charms. He’s the golden retriever that everyone wants to be around. Well, except for you.
“So,” Rich starts as he shuts the door. I want you to know that I respect both of you, and it was tough to make this decision; hence, we are doing this. Plus, it’ll be fun, bring up the morale of the restaurant while we’re in Madrid—” “Wait,” you hold your hand up. “Are we going to do this in Madrid?” “Well, yes,” he says casually. “It’s only fitting we do it in there. It’ll give you a chance to feel the vibe of the area and get some fresh ingredients. Lord knows you can’t get it here in the city.”
Mingyu chuckles, and you instinctively dig your thumb into your palm, your mind already thinking of the cost of a ticket, hotel space, etc. 
“We will cover everything, of course; all you need to do is be ready for international travel. You can bring one person from the restaurant as your assistant. Oh, and here is some paperwork you will need to fill out.” Several minutes later, with all the paperwork signed and details worked out, you shuffle out of the office one by one. Rich leaves first, rushing out like a bat out of hell, his wooden smell following him and the tension in your chest. You’re plagued with thoughts about coming up with a menu, packing to leave, and who’s going to watch your cat Grey while you’re gone. You feel undervalued, still bothered that you even have to do this. Does your many years of being here not mean anything to Rich? Is your cooking not good enough? Why keep hinting that you could have something bigger here just to string you along? All of this frustrates you with a passion. 
You need a fucking drink. 
Your nose wiggles at the smell of rich chocolate, your mouth salivates, and your stomach rumbles shortly after. You have a terrible habit of not eating when hungry as you focus on making food and serving others. While your mind is on food, you aren’t paying attention to Mingyu in front of you, bumping into his back. Your face grows hot with embarrassment, refusing to meet the gaze of your competitor for your dream job. “Hey.” His deep voice knocks you out of your mental fog. 
“W-what’s up?” You stumble through your words. “I just want to say it’s an honor going toe-to-toe with you for this spot. There wouldn’t be any other person I would want to go against. You’re a great chef.” 
For that tiny moment, you felt seen and appreciated. Aside from Shena, no one seemed to care about the hard work you put into The Palm Cuisine, and you thought about quitting so many times. But despite being unappreciated, you love the food, the culture, and the customers that come in. You can’t imagine yourself anywhere else.
“Thanks,” you clear your throat. “You’re good too.” Mingyu nods, a strand of hair falling over his forehead. Seeing him up close, you have to admit, he’s attractive. You get why everyone trips over their feet when he’s around. You have much more discipline than that despite the vibrations through your body. “Also, you need to eat,” he says matter-of-factly. “I heard your stomach before you bumped into me.”
Whatever spell you were temporarily under ceased immediately, knocking you back into reality.
“Ladies first,” he says, moving out of the way to let you through. His hand lightly touches your back as you walk by, making that part of you hot as if it were touched by something warm. You return to your stations, cleaning off your station to be ready for the customers set to come in later on. “What was that about?” Shena pops up beside you, eyeing you suspiciously. “Just some stuff about this unnecessary competition and getting an assistant to help me and whatnot,” you shrug. 
“Wow, that’s kind of grand,” she looks perplexed as if you are telling a joke. 
You nod, grab a banana nearby, and take a bite, curbing your hunger a bit.  “So…” you let your voice trail off in suspense. “How about you come with me to Spain?”
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deepdarkdelights · 3 months ago
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WIP Sneak Peek
A/N: Hello everyone, it has been a very long time since I have posted a fic and I am truly sorry! Life in grad school has been ten times harder than I thought it would be, and my presence here has suffered because of it! Whenever I have found time I have been trying to work on my wips. So, today, I am giving you a sneak peek of my most developed fic so far! I hope you enjoy this Bridgerton inspired sneak peek!
“A letter has arrived for you, my lady.” Your maid called for you as she unsealed the envelope with a letter opener, “It is from your mother.”  The pianoforte made a ghastly sound beneath your fingertips as you startled at the mention of your mother. The five years you had spent in isolation from the Ton’ had included your beloved brother as well as your mother. Your aunt had done her best to enforce the privacy that you had requested and this had included correspondence, all letters had been addressed to or intercepted by her and her alone at your request. You cleared your throat and collected yourself, regaining the composure you had trained yourself into in the past years. “You may take that to my aunt, Lilah, I have not corresponded with my mother in quite some time as you are aware.” “My mistress has requested that I deliver this to you and you alone, my lady.” Lilah replied, placing the unsealed envelope on the top of the pianoforte, “I will give you your privacy, when you are ready to draft your response I will return.” You stared after the maid’s retreating form. In any other house, her words and disposition would have been mistaken for disrespect. However, Lilah had been a faithful servant to your family since you were born, she being only eight years your senior. She truly had the best of intentions when it came to you, and she knew when to talk to you like the petulant child that you were being despite your age. Your fingers trembled as you slid the stationary free from the envelope and began to read. Dearest,  It has been quite some time since you have been home. Your brother and myself have missed you deeply during this time that we have spent apart. Your dear aunt has told me of the woman that you are growing into, and I am deeply saddened that I have missed these defining years of your youth. Your brother and I have spoken often of your return, and as we approach your fifth season away from home we have come to a decision on the matter. While Seokjin was in firm agreement with your decision to leave home, I have made my stance on the matter very clear. While I hold little authority as dowager viscountess, I still hold much authority as you and your brother’s mother. It is upon my request with the approval of your brother, that you are to return home this season.  While you may not think this to be so, I do understand the heavy burden that comes with being a woman in society. However, as your mother, I can no longer stand by and allow you to hide from your responsibilities in the country. I have listened to your brother long enough and I have given your aunt plenty of time to prepare you for your return to society. You are quickly approaching spinsterhood and it is now time to find you a suitable match. Your aunt has let me know your stance on this as well, and I regret to inform you that we are no longer in a position where we can wait. In spite of your aversion to marriage, I will be securing you a match by the end of the season whether you return home or not. However, if you decide to stay with your aunt in Whitepoint, you will have no input in the suitor that I choose for you. With this knowledge, I find that it will be in your best interest to return home at once. Do not think me heartless, dearest. It is with a heavy heart that I have made this decision. Your brother and I have missed you and we both are doing this to ensure that you will be taken care of. And, selfishly, I knew that this would be the only way I would see you return home to me once more. I know that you will be angry and I know that you will be hurt, however, do know that we have tried to give you the most time that we could possibly afford. You have had five years now to explore your passions and grow, that is more than most women have ever been able to have. Your brother and I eagerly await your return. With all my love, Mother
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stealingpotatoes · 1 year ago
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can we get a rundown on the anakin-raises-leia au? i’m totally in love with (read: obsessed with) it but i missed most of the context and i’m so curious!
are they coparenting? was it a parent trap style agreement to split the twins? is it temporary, until the war ends? who decided who gets which twin? did mustafar just never happen?
the answers to ur questions in short are: not really, arguably, absolutely, i did, and no!
in longer, the main thing you need to know for context is it's an Anakin-doesn't-turn-to-the-darkside-but-Palps-still-succeeds AU!
Anakin chooses not to try save Palpatine from the Jedi council and instead goes to Padmé's to angst abt the fact he might be losing her -- only to feel a very solid Other loss in the Force and see the temple up in flames ): he tries to go help but gets his shit kicked enough he leaves when Bail shows up
obi-wan and yoda both return to coruscant, obi-wan shows up to Padmé's to ask her hey do you know where Anakin is??? except Padmé's not there either bc after Sidious made his Big Speech anidala realised Anakin's totally a fugitive so they decided to Leave
i'm not 100% on what happens around here (lbr we all know my focus is the kids) but i'm currently thinking they nearly get caught or smthn, fight happens (??), Obi-wan gets there just in time to help thanks to Dormé snitching -- and Padmé goes into labour w the shock/stress
whatever exactly happens, Obi-Wan is there when they get Padmé to a medical station and the normal rots ending group unite. Padmé gives birth (keeping her will to live) and a question hangs heavy in the air: what are they supposed to do with the twins?
Anidala are too caught up in the joy of being parents to think about it, but they're quickly and forcibly snapped out of that when the Survivors all have a chat like canon. Yoda's the (brave) one to say they need to be apart because their force signatures would be too strong together and in the dire case Palps finds them, he could NOT take both. He's probs initially like they shouldnt even be kept w you two, Anakin's too powerful himself and Padmé you're too visible (while I imagine Bail and Obi-wan know their respective besties and are like king they are NOT gonna take that well)
and theyre right! Padmé, fresh out of like three of the top ten most harrowing experiences of her life, is like stfu u little green bitch im not losing my kids. but after some convincing she sees the need for her to remain in the senate and anakin's need to fight/run. she knows they can't fight the empire effectively together and she knows it's too dangerous to put the twins together. both parents want more than ANYTHING to be with their kids -- but they also don't want their kids growing up in a galaxy eaten by tyranny or being stolen by palps.
so they made the hardest goddamn decision of their lives and each take a twin (probably chosen on "anakin thought the baby'd be a girl/padme thought it'd be a boy" or smthn) and after some time planning their next moves, Padmé and Anakin are forced to go their separate ways to save the galaxy for and with their kids ): knowing the better they fight, the sooner they free the galaxy from the empire's clutches, the sooner they can reunite and be a family
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sardonic-the-writer · 10 months ago
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𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐫𝐨𝐲 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞
↳ warnings: none
↳ song: undone - the sweater song—weezer
masterlist! | commissions | carrd
• Rooming with Troy and Abed had been one of the easiest decisions of your life. Two years of friendship and student debt loans really did a lot to convince a person
• You were a little worried about the actual process of moving, considering what happened last time the study group got together to move, but it ended up going pretty smooth. Jeff didn't even try to pretend he was sick this time, something that Britta sarcastically applauded him for. And Shirley held back from judging you about your lack of Christian memorabilia. She instead resorted to clutching her cross necklace tighter than the time she found out Britta smoked pot
• In between lugging boxes and bedframes around, Annie reassured you over and over that she was totally fine with you taking up the apartment vacancy instead of her. She was honestly looking forward to her new place just off the cusp of campus grounds. Said it would be easier to get in for a midnight study session. Whatever that meant
• You just nodded slowly and excused yourself to pack in a different corner
• Troy and Abed on the other hand were absolutely stoked throughout the move. So much so, that they put most of their shenanigans on pause to get the move over faster. Most of them.
• "Abed, untie Troy from the chair. I need to put that in the back of my car. You can do that when we get to your place."
• "Ten more minutes?"
• "No, guys."
• "Aw man."
• The next few hours ran as smooth as they could with eight people trying to walk up two flights of stairs. Eventually, everything got unloaded into the living room, and excuses were made as why people had to leave. Some more elegantly than others
• "Yeah, as much as I'd love to stay and watch you three nerds discuss which Batman poster goes where—" Jeff hummed as he typed away on his phone, "—I've got places to be and women to charm."
• "What he said!"
• "Pierce, I don't think there's a single lady out there that would touch you with a ten foot pole." You deadpanned
• "Ertha Kitt did. And she did more than just touch me—"
• "Okay. Out."
• Troy and Abed surprised you that night with a new pair of pajamas to match their own, and an impromtu Inspector Spacetime marathon
•Both of them beamed when you came out into the living room later wearing it. A part of you figured they were just happy that you were cool with your blanket fort, though
• You ended up sitting criss crossed on top of an unpacked box while they took to their knockoff la-z-boys
• "Do you guys think we should actually unpack things before starting the next episode?" You asked at some point late into the night, glancing at the blinking analog clock on the TV stand
• "No." Abed answered you without even looking up from the end credits
• "Yeah me neither." You grinned. "I want to see if Reggie kills any blorgons this time."
• All in all, becoming their third best friend and tennant was one of the best decisions any of you had made—even if it did take you a month to convince Troy and Abed to let you take partial room in the dreamatorium
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fierymiasma · 1 year ago
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✰ Homecoming ✰ // Sebastian x f!MC
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Summary: She visits Sebastian in Azkaban ten years after sending him there. The years haven't been kind to him.
He decides to return the favor and pay her a visit in Feldcroft in her lonely cottage. He's not letting her out of his sight ever again.
Part 2
Tags: Dark!Sebastian, Azkaban!Sebastian, angst, Making out, Jealous!Sebastian, Obsession, Possessiveness, Sebastian living his villain era.
|| Masterlist || AO3 ||
A/N: Thinking of making this a series.  Let me know what you think! 
"You don't have to do this."  Natty softly reminded her, eyes brimming with concern.
The savior of Hogwarts clenched her jaw, refusing to look at Natty.  The salt from waves crashing on the island that held Azkaban stung her eyes.  Ten years had passed since she had condemned Sebastian Sallow to Azkaban.  Not a day had gone by that she did not question her choices.
Had that one singular moment changed the course of her future?  Life after Hogwarts hadn't been too kind to her, though she suspected, she was a lot more fortunate than Sebastian.  Ominis and Anne were always there for her, whenever they had free time apart from each other, that is.  Maybe, Sebastian would find some comfort that his oldest friend was taking care of his twin sister.
She craned her neck up gazing at the imposing prison on front of her.
…Or maybe he'd be betrayed that Ominis had moved on from the other boy so quickly.
"Are you sure you're up for this?"  Natty asked again, interrupting her thoughts.  The auror worried at her bottom lip.  "My friend, we don't have to do this today.  Let's come back another time."
They both knew that was impossible.  Natty, the newly appointed head auror of her division had pulled so many strings to arrange this meeting.  And the hero of Hogwarts herself, had flexed her name to wave away any scrutiny.
Nervously, her hand drifting to her left shoulder, right on top of her most recent burn wound.  Nestled underneath protective wrapping was a reminder of her most recent bout of carelessness and string of poor decision making.  How many times had she staggered back to Feldcroft, bleeding on Anne's freshly polished doorsteps?  She knew Anne, Ominis, and all her friends hated the long spiral of self-loathing she had embarked on.  How she disappeared for days, even weeks at a time with little to no warning, only to come back wounded, pockets brimming with more gold and treasures.
Visiting Sebastian wouldn't be the first dumb decision she made this week.
"I have to do this, Natty."  She didn't know why.  "Let's go."
Passing through the heavy gated doors of the prison, she clutched her cape tighter, trying to protect herself from the bone-chilling cold around her.  She had been here once before, in her school days.  She looked around.  It was very much the same. She could see the puffs of cold air coming from her lips, no doubt thanks to the floating dementors above her.   Haunting, ghostly vestiges of men and women with dead eyes in living bodies.  Muttering anxious voices and abrupt screams echoed the long hallway to Sebastian's cell.  Decaying teeth in the emancipated skulls of prisoners waiting to die.
She was scared to see what had become of Sebastian, the troubled boy from her youth.
Walking deeper into the dark bowels of the prison, Natty stopped, shuffling nervously.  "You go on ahead.  I'll wait here."  It was too painful to see a once close childhood friend in the state he was in.
The hero of Hogwarts cringed.  This was all her fault.
Creeping up quietly to jail cell, she noticed how the fading moonlight illuminated the person imprisoned there.  A man's back was turned away from the door.  Shirtless, she could see the constellation of freckles.  Deep scars had long since healed in ragged patterns on his back.  There were long linear wounds freshly oozing.  Dark red, slowly clotting blood stained the beautiful freckles.  She shuddered to think how he could have gotten those.  His prison number was tattooed on his left deltoid.
The burn wound on her back tingled in sympathy. 
Sebastian. 
She must have whispered that out loud.  The boy-no-, the man, in front of her turned around.  She took a startled step back.
She expected hollowed wasting cheekbones like so many of the prisoners here.  What she hadn't expected was for Sebastian to have filled in so impressively.  All the adorable baby fat that had clung to his cheeks was now gone.  Well-defined toned muscles clung to his bones.  His shoulders were broader now.  He had a beard, which only framed his devastatingly handsome face.
And his eyes….fiercely beautiful, trained on her every movement like a predator lying in the shadows, waiting for his time to strike.  She couldn't help but shiver at the sight.  Sebastian blinked, his eyes roaming over her body, assessing her as much as she was him.
She inhaled sharply.  Underneath his scars, Sebastian had filled impressively. 
There was a pregnant pause as the two once friends looked at each other and how the decade of time had treated the other.
"I must finally be going mad, the most gorgeous girl in all of Hogwarts is standing right of front of me."  He cooed. 
She expected anger and resentment.  She hadn't expected this. 
She swallowed.  Well, looks like Azkaban didn't make him lose his charm.  "Hello, Sallow, I'm surprised you still remember me."
His voice was raspy.  "How could I forget?  The beautiful witch that put me behind these very bars."
He finally stood up, and she took another step back.  He was so much taller now.  The top of her head only came up to his shoulder now.  He got closer, hands gripping tightly on the bars of his cell.  "You look even more beautiful than the day I lost you."  His eyes roamed over her new curves greedily.  "Azkaban hasn't been kind to me.  But, someone must be looking out for me to bring you back to me."
The hero of Hogwarts coughed politely.  He was being far too forward.  "Sallow, I bring you news of Anne and Ominis, if you wish to hear it.  You deserve to know at least that."
Sebastian tilted his head and put on a mocking smile. "Oh, and where are they now?  I have not seen them since I walked through the doors of this prison."
She crossed her arms.  "They had good reason, Sallow."
His brows knitted together.  "Since when did you ever call me Sallow?  It's Sebastian to you, darling."
Her face burned.  Thank Merlin that the only guards here were witless dementors. 
"If you even care, both Anne and Ominis are well.  Anne is still in as much of good health as she can be, and Ominis is taking care of her."
He ignored her words.  "What about you?  How have you been?"  He asked.
She blinked.  The burn on her left scapula tightened in discomfort.  "I've been…well, I have a cottage in Feldcroft.  It was a good a place as any to settle down."
Sebastian pressed his face against the bars of his cell.  His manic, small pupils made him look a bit deranged.  "All by yourself?  No doting husband taking care of your every need?"
She said nothing, lest she reveal too much of her personal life.
Her silence was enough of an answer.  "Unmarried?"  The reflection of the torchlights flickered in his eyes.  "It is rare in this day and age to see a woman in her twenties unwed.  Why, some would wonder if you're waiting for someone."
She flushed.  He'd gone too far.  It seemed like a decade of Azkaban made him forget basic manners.  "That's none of your business, Sallow."  She barked.  She begun to turn away.
Wait," his hands clawed through the bars desperately grabbing after her.  "Please before you go, I just have one request."
Against every smart decision, she turned around. 
Sebastian grinned fiercely, his teeth clicking against the bars.  His sharp tongue dipped out licking his bottom lip.  "A kiss."
She was scandalized.  "Sebastian!  A kiss?  Here?"
His darkened eyes had not left hers.  He looked devilishly handsome.   "Not like the dementors could see."
This was a foolish mistake.  She shouldn't even be entertaining this madness.  And yet, she couldn't stop herself from stepping forward, getting closer to Sebastian's cell.  Her eyes fluttered towards his wide smile.  Sebastian had truly gone mad.  Angling her face between the bars, she leaned in.
Instantly, she was overwhelmed.  While she was expecting a chaste first kiss, Sebastian ravaged her.  His lips were heated, pressing bruisingly firm against hers.  The sharp tease of Sebastian's canine against her lips was dizzying.  Sebastian snuck his hands out of his cage, fingers clutching her hip.  Her skirt snagged the stone floor as he pulled her as hard as he could against the metal that were separating them.  This hypnotic kiss left her spellbound as Sebastian drank her red lips greedily.
She felt drunk when they parted.  Sebastian's tongue darted out, licking his bottom lip, chasing the last of her essence.  His dangerous eyes stared at her longingly.
As she left the depths of Azkaban with Natty, she couldn't stop thinking of those eyes that followed her as she left Sebastian.
It was their first kiss together, maybe their last. 
•.¸¸.•´¨* •.¸¸.•*´¨•.¸¸.•´¨`
The sky was a dark grey when Ominis delivered the news.  She had been tending to her garden, trying her best to trim back rebellious  venomous tentaculas.
His face was ashen, stricken with grief, when Ominis approached her.  He held the latest Daily Prophet in his hand.  And somehow without him saying anything, she knew what news he brought.
Sebastian Sallow, Murderer of Solomon Sallow, Found Dead in His Cell
She looked at the tall blonde man before her.  Although he was a grown man, he looked quite like the scared child in the Undercroft asking her what to do about Solomon's death.  His usually stoic face was grief striken, tears threatening to spill over onto his cheeks. 
Sebastian Sallow…..dead.
She looked at Ominis, the bearer of bad news.  The ground swam before her vision.  Her knees felt too weak to support her.
"A-are you alright?"  He asked, tentatively.  A stupid question really, given the news.
She preceded to vomit on her poor garlic shoots.
•.¸¸.•´¨* •.¸¸.•*´¨•.¸¸.•´¨`
It was two weeks since the death of Sebastian Sallow, a poor unfortunate boy who got mixed up in dark magic.  Ominis had taken care of the affairs, writing a polite, tersely short obituary.  Anne, took the unfortunately very familiar task of identifying and laying the body to rest.
And the hero of Hogwarts had done nothing.  Nothing but wallow in her bed.  Her limbs numb and body cold.  She was fortunate that Anne was capable of such strength as the poor sister ironically took care of her as she laid in bed her grief unable to move her. 
It was frankly pathetic for the strongest witch of their generation to be taken care of someone like Anne, especially given that it was Anne's own brother who had passed. 
"Please, you cannot lay in bed all day."  Anne sat beside her bed, begging the grieving girl.
She said nothing.  She hadn't spoken much since Ominis had told her the news.
Anne sighed before gathering her skirt.  She gingerly got up and moved towards the front door of the cottage.
The hero of Hogwarts stared listlessly at her friend's trailing form.
It was unfortunate that the wizarding world viewed ancient magic and dueling prowess as a greater strength over Anne's strong will. 
"I'm sorry."  she whispered lamely, knowing how inadequate her words were.
Anne turned around, staring at her.  The dark circles under the twin's eyes made her appear much older than she was.  She nodded slightly before closing the front door of the cottage behind her.
The minutes, or perhaps hours, passed languidly as the hero of Hogwarts laid in her bed.  By now all her magical plants have for sure wilted.  She was sure that the food remaining in her pantry had long rotten.  But she paid no heed to these.
Sebastian…
…what had she done?
"Hello, darling."
Emerging from the shadows on her cottage, like a dark creature, was Sebastian Sallow himself. 
For the first time in two weeks, she shot out of bed, hands habitually fumbling for her wand.
He looked nothing like how he did back in Azkaban.  Beard completely gone, hair trimmed, wearing robes that flattered his appearance, and smelling of unfamiliar cologne.  She couldn't help but wonder if he had done to escape Azkaban.
She shivered, thinking about the dead body they found in Sebastian's cell. 
"What's the matter?  Lost for words?"
Her mouth was agape.  What was he was doing here?  How did he get in without her noticing? She had half a mind to yell.  Ominis and Anne were so close that they would come to aid in in a minute's notice.
"Don't think about screaming for help."  Sebastian said, pacing the room.  I have already muffliatoed the whole cottage."
Her voice was sore from disuse.  "You shouldn't be here."
He looked around at the various of extraordinary knick knacks and forbidden trinkets that she had collected on her adventures.  His long robes swept around him.  "You have made yourself a nice little home."  His eyes flickered towards the single sized bed she slept on.  "Looks rather lonely doesn't it."
She was afraid.  She knew of a Sebastian Sallow, the big-hearted charismatic boy from 5th year.  This version of Sebastian, the man before her, was something else entirely.
He was a beast free of his cage.  Without the bars of Azkaban in between them, what was Sebastian capable of? 
He tapped a wand, something Sebastian wasn't supposed to have, loudly against his thigh.   He wasn't supposed to have one.  They had snapped his beautiful green handled wand in two the second he stepped foot in Azkaban.
Her eyes tracked Sebastian's pacing form closely.  "Are you going to kill me?"  She asked, her voice finally catching up to her.
Sebastian scowled,  "That's the first thing that's on your mind?"
She swallowed.  The wand in Sebastian's hand was very familiar.  "Why else would you be here then?  Other than to get revenge for what I did to you."
Sebastian laughed.  It was not the loving, charming one from school, but hallow and terrifying.  "Don't play dumb, darling.  You're far too clever for that."  He crowded her, nose practically touching hers.  The back of her knees hit the edge of her bed.  "You know why I'm here."
She inhaled deeply.  "I haven't had the foggiest idea what you mean."  She said, turning her head away from him.  He was so close to her, the tip of his nose brushed against her turned cheek.  "Please get out of my house.  I swear won't call for help.  I won't tell a soul you were here."
"You wound me.  After all you did to me, and you pretend to be a stranger."
"I have no idea what you mean."  She insisted through gritted teeth.
A very familiar wand pressed into her chin lifting her face up to look into his dark eyes.  "So you just let any crazy loon in Azkaban steal your precious wand from your pocket as you kiss them?  You just happen to have a bottle of Polyjuice potion in your left pocket, a potion you never carried back when we were in school together?"
She squeezed her eyes tightly, trying to drown on Sebastian's words.
She felt a hot breath of air against her ears.  "You let any man in Azkaban get close enough to you to kiss you?"
She collapsed onto her bed, head dizzy.  She blinked back tears.  To be held hostage by her own wand.  A part of her wondered if by tomorrow morning aurors would find her dead in her own house, killed by her own wand.
Sebastian wouldn't do that…would he? 
"Sebastian, I don't like what you're implying.  It's a crime to break anyone out of Azkaban.  Please," she sobbed.  "why are you here?"
Sebastian softened, his expression almost close to something she would recognize in her youth.  "You're full of surprises.  There I was, about to lose all hope and finally wither away like the rest of them when a miracle stumbles upon my cell."
She drew her knees to her chest.
" I'm here simply because I wanted to thank the prettiest girl I know for breaking a dangerous criminal like me out of Azkaban."
Bile swirled in her stomach.  She didn't know why she did it.  She didn't know what compelled her to spend a whole month brewing Polyjuice potion before seeing Sebastian.  She didn't know why she kept her wand in a conspicuous easy to grab location.   Sh-She hadn't…meant to do it.  It wasn't a conscious decision on her part.  There was no thorough thought-out plan in motion.
The ruse was up.  She sighed blinking away the tears.  "I knew you weren't dead.  The second that the Daily Prophet announced it, I knew you had escaped, and I was responsible for it."  She shook her head, trying to chase the tears away.  "Why I don't know is why are you here in Feldcroft in my house.  You could be anyway in the world right now.  Why here?  For payback?  For revenge?  To torture me?"
Sebastian's sly smile faltered a bit.  Did she really think so little of him?  In all of his years of Azkaban, all the torture, the madness…Did she not know, the only thing keeping him sane was his love of her?  How she was the shining beacon, a version of his own inner Patronus, in the darkness that not even the dementors could take away.  Perhaps they could drain him of their shared good memories, perhaps they could remove the happiness he felt upon thinking of her.  But what the dementors couldn't shake his pure love for her.  The thought of vengeance or any malice towards her hadn't even crossed his mind before she mentioned it. 
"Why wouldn't I come home to you?  This is where I belong, next to you."  Carefully, he wiped the tears away from her eyes.  His heavily scarred hands slowly found hers.  His coarse thumb rubbed circles in her smooth skin.  Gingerly, he uncurled her fingers, before gently returning her own wand back into her hand.  "If you have any misgivings, if you're afraid of me, you can petrify me and return me right back to Azkaban.  My life is once again, in your hands."
She held her own wand numbly in her hand.  Her mind blank, heart pounding in her throat.  Sebastian was so good at convincing Ominis and her to follow his lead while they were in school.  Was this all a mind game?  
She shifted back in her bed until her back met the cool wall of her cottage.  Sebastian stalked forward.  Gently, he gripped her by the chin forcing her to look up. 
As an adult, well-versed in ancient magic, she was seldom afraid, both in her personal life or on the dueling grounds.  She wasn't supposed to be afraid of Sebastian.  She knew what he was capable of.  In a fight, she was confident that she would come out on top.
So why did her heart beat so fast when he was so close to her?
"Scared?"  Sebastian drawled, sensing her unease.  "Nervous even?  No protective prison bars separating you and me."  His breath was hot against her lips as he leaned forward. 
"S-Sebastian."  She whispered.
He pulled back a bit, calculating gaze assessing her expression.  "I might be a criminal, but I'm not a monster."  His brown eyes looked lighter.  "Say that you don't want this.  Say you're disgusted by me and this will all go away."
"Sebastian.  Please."
He surged forward, his mouth meeting hers.  She felt again the familiar wave of helplessness and the surging tide of warmth on her lips.  If she thought their brief kiss in Azkaban was addictive, this was ten times more so.  His insistent mouth was parting her trembling lips, drawing out sweet sensations that she had never felt before.   
She knew, knew that kissing Sebastian Sallow, was a terrible idea.  But the protesting voices of her head were lost to the drum of her hot pulse and the tingle of her ready lips.
They broke apart, gasping for air.  His arms curved protectively around her, nestling his nose into the crook of her neck.  He smiled into her hair.  He was home.  
He would do anything in his power to make sure that he would stay.
Part 2
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hollowed-theory-hall · 7 months ago
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What do you think about Hermione? Love her? Hate her? Any thoughts about her being given the time Turner? Because that's what made me dislike her. There's literally no way it makes sense for her to have that other than favouritism from Dumbledore. Because if they were really willing to give out time turners to any smart kid, Barty Crouch Jr. and Tom Riddle should also have gotten time turners.
Okay, there are two parts for this answer. The first part is that I got to defend Hermione on the Time Turner bit because it's not her fault Dumbledore plays favorites.
I'm pretty sure Dumbledore knew Sirius was innocent all along (or at least suspected it) and intended Harry and Hermione to have all the means to help him at their disposal.
“Dumbledore just said — just said we could save more than one innocent life. . . .” And then it hit him. “Hermione, we’re going to save Buckbeak!” “But — how will that help Sirius?” “Dumbledore said — he just told us where the window is — the window of Flitwick’s office! Where they’ve got Sirius locked up! We’ve got to fly Buckbeak up to the window and rescue Sirius! Sirius can escape on Buckbeak — they can escape together!”
(PoA, page 395)
They were still ten feet away from the forest, in plain view of Hagrid’s back door. “One moment, please, Macnair,” came Dumbledore’s voice. “You need to sign too.” The footsteps stopped.
(PoA, page 401)
The back in time Dumbledore, before he sent Harry and Hermione back in time, seems almost too aware of what's going on. Even though he hasn't sent them back in time yet. So, I'm suspicious he had a plan there.
“Where is it?” said the reedy voice of the Committee member. “Where is the beast?” “It was tied here!” said the executioner furiously. “I saw it! Just here!” “How extraordinary,” said Dumbledore. There was a note of amusement in his voice.
(PoA, page 402)
But even if Dumbledore didn't plan Sirius' escape and the Time Turner shenanigans, it's not Hermione's fault Dumbledore wanted her to have a Time Turner. Honestly, it's good she had it for Sirius' sake, but Dumbledore's favoritism isn't on her. I feel it's wrong to blame her for a decision that wasn't hers. It was Dumbledore's and McGonagall's decision to give Hermione a Time Turner and not to other students. We don't even know how common Time Turners are for students (my guess is not at all, and Hermione wasn't supposed to have one, but that's a different post), but it was still a decision completely out of Hermione's hands.
As for the second part, which is my opinion on Hermione:
I like Hermione, she isn't in my top favorite characters, but I do like her. She's interesting, adds contrast to Ron and Harry and I related to her a lot when I was younger.
I hate what the movies did to her. They stripped her of everything that made her interesting and made her this perfect figure who always knew what to do which Hermione just isn't. Hermione tends to panic and stress out in the books often. It's often Harry who comes up with last-minute plans under pressure.
And yes, she's smart, but she isn't always the cleverest or wisest (I'll say Ron has the most common sense in the Trio), and a lot of times she doesn't think her plans through (like with Umbridge, the centaurs, and Gwamp. She didn't plan anything other than not wanting to see Harry in pain). And that's an interesting character flaw for her to have. And she knows this about herself. I mean, she says herself there's more to magic than just reading books.
And book Hermione really loves Harry and Ron and appreciates their cleverness compared to movie Hermione who's just done with both of them and their idiocy constantly. Which is a disservice to the Golden Trio's friendship. All three are really smart in different ways. and the three of them know this (sorta, Harry has really low self-esteem so he doesn't think he's smart).
My biggest grief with Hermione's character in the books was always her complete faith in authority she trusts. Throughout the series, Hermione is the one of the Trio who always speaks up that they should trust Dumbledore and do what Dumbledore says because she respects him. Hermione, once she respects an authority figure, she tends to just have full faith in them and their judgment. And that really got on my nerves sometimes. But again, that's an interesting character flaw that contrasts Harry and Ron and creates an interesting dynamic. It's a character flaw that is an extension of Hermione's loyalty. I think her loyalty is a trait that is often downplayed too, but she is so loyal. Like, once she decides you have her loyalty you could do pretty much anything and she'll try to justify you. She'll make excuses and justifications so people she's loyal to are in the right.
And she does this justification with her own actions too. I like Hermione's ruthlessness that is so often ignored. She:
Set Snape on fire as a 1st year (but, yeah she loves all authority *sarcasm*)
Kept Rita Skeeter in a jar
Marietta Edgcomb (the curse on the DA parchment in general)
Came up with the DA coins and told Harry she got inspiration from the Dark Mark:
Harry looked sideways at Hermione. “You know what these remind me of?” “No, what’s that?” “The Death Eaters’ scars. Voldemort touches one of them, and all their scars burn, and they know they’ve got to join him.” “Well . . . yes,” said Hermione quietly. “That is where I got the idea . . . but you’ll notice I decided to engrave the date on bits of metal rather than on our members’ skin. . . .”
(OotP, 399)
6. Confounded Cormac McLaggen so Ron would get the Keeper position.
7. Basically everything she did in Deathly Hollows, I'm not listing all of it.
And there are more I'm probably forgetting!
The point is, Hermione is ruthless when she wants to be. She's not to be trifled with.
I think her loyalty, as I mentioned above, is a very distinctive trait of her character. She didn't have friends before Hogwarts (she was probably bullied for being a know-it-all. Like, it shows in her behavior) and she latched onto Harry and Ron and has been incredibly devoted to their friendship since. She's not only devoted to her friends but invested in keeping Harry and Ron as her friends (and each other's freinds).
And she actually is really smart. Yes, book smart, she can memorize books like a pro, but she's also a really good puzzle solver. From the riddle in the obstacle course in 1st year, figuring out the basilisk, finding out Lupin's a werewolf, figuring out Rita's Animagus form, etc... Hermione is really good at organizing information and putting the puzzle pieces together. And that's before I mentioned her magical talent, from brewing Pulyjuice Potion (a complex and advanced potion) in 2nd year in the girls' bathroom to usually being the first in class to get spells right.
Hermione's desire to know everything, as I mentioned in another post, I think is an extension of her desire to belong. She arrives in a new world as a muggleborn, and she takes each and every chance she gets to learn about the Wizarding World. To appear as if she was always there. Because she wants to be a witch so badly she doesn't mind Obliviating her parents and sending them to Australia.
I have more thoughts, but I'm just blabbering...
So, Hermione, while not in my top five, is an interesting and flawed character that I like a lot.
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radiostaticsmile · 7 months ago
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What do you mean by narc attachment?/genq
I am a narcissist! I sure would love a link to something explaining this concept that wasn't deeply ableist but unfortunately everything is like. Top ten ways to know that someone is a narc and narc attaching to you so you can RUN AWAY because they are USING YOU!!!!!
But since we can't have nice things I will try to explain it myself.
Basically narcissists need something called narc supply to feel ok. This is most often in the form of praise and attention. You get these things mostly from other people. You need these things. People give these things to you because they like you. You therefore care about them liking you. They give you the thing you need. Therefore you like them. (They may also have traits that make them Special and Better than others which makes you like them More)
Narcs can attach very very strongly to people who give them supply because of this. We want them to be happy with us. We want them to be happy in general. We feel extremely protective of them. When I hear someone has hurt someone I have narc attachment for I feel violence in my heart.
Narcs also often feel kind of an ownership over people they attach to. This does not mean we will be weird about it or entitled about it, though I imagine that some people are. But it is just tied to the protectiveness I think. Sometimes we decide a person is our person now. Very cute thing I do with other narcs who I like where we say we both own each other a little bit, but not too much. We want to belong but we do not want to be trapped. Mutual aro narc attachment friendship very cute.
As an aromantic narc not knowing I was either I used to think that this was what love was. But when I told people I loved them they would seem to assume I meant things I did not mean. When I dated people, they would fuck up the whole relationship and expect things of me that I did not think would be expected and they all become very weird and entitled to me and my time. I did not know I was meant to do something different when I dated someone. I just thought it meant I like you a lot, I want to talk to you often. And it was a label I put on relationships where I already was doing that, and expected it just to be a marker of how much we like each other. But then people expected me to talk to them Even more often, and I am like. I am already talking to you almost every day, I need to sleep sometimes, Jeez. Or worse they expect me to base my life decisions around what they want or change myself for them. What the hell
Other narcs feel free to add more explanation for Narc attachment I know I did not cover every kind of attachment here. Feel free also to add on your own personal experiences
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soupthatistohot · 1 year ago
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BSD 110: An Absurdist Analysis
The fate of Aya Kōda
Since my post analyzing BSD 109 in accordance with Asagiri's absurdist storytelling got so much love, I've decided to continue analyzing the chapters thru an absurdist lens when I deem it relevant, and making predictions accordingly. I think that not only is it an effective way of reading BSD, it gives us readers a bit more hope that things will turn out okay when the plot is... like it is right now (lol).
I recommend checking out my BSD 109 post if you haven't already this since I explain the philosophy of the absurd in depth there :)
BSD 110 spoilers below!! Obviously! Also TW for discussion of suicide.
So. I really don't think the ten year-old girl is going to die.
On top of Aya being "the last hope" (more on that later), suicide is one of those things that absurdists really frown upon.
Aya's plan as I understand it right now is to add her weight to the table in order to pull the sword from Bram's body, this is why she jumps. If this works, the sword will be dislodged and she, the sword and the table would fall to the ground, which is very far below -- she would likely die upon impact.
Absurdists really don't like suicide as a solution to hopeless situations, most absurdist storytellers have their characters commit suicide because they have "given up". It's submission, giving into the meaninglessness of our reality rather than rebelling against and embracing the absurd.
We see this with Oda in Dark Era, his suicide mission is framed as him giving up on life because the orphans were killed. Of course, it also served as catalyst for Dazai's character development, compelling him to escape a situation that would have likely ended up in his own eventual suicide. All this to say that even though Asagiri chose to make Oda go on a suicide mission, the overall narrative purpose still lent itself to absurdism through Dazai's decision to defect. It needed to happen for the story to move forward as it has (and as we know from BEAST, there literally cannot be a universe in which both Oda and Dazai are alive).
So, if Aya dies now, what message does this send? It's almost certain that the world will literally end if she does, meaning that everyone's efforts up until this point have all been for naught, which, as I explained in my BSD 109 post, is the opposite of the entire point of BSD as an absurdist text. Aya is really the "last hope" right now, with all our other main characters pretty much screwed or just not present.
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"Nothing is impossible for a warrior of justice. We beat the bad guys and save the world, no matter what happens."
What Aya says right here is something I'd liken to the Dazai quote I brought up with my BSD 109 analysis: "The ones who actually make the world turn are those who scream within the storm of uncertainty and run with flowing blood." Both communicate the idea that there's never an acceptable point in time to give up (suicide), that there's always something more that you can do, even when things seem bleak. Those who "make the world turn" are one in the same with Aya's concept of "warriors of justice."
Aya may not succeed exactly the way we expect her to, but she absolutely is not dying like this. On top of the absurdist storytelling reasons, she's just a child. Of course, we know Asagiri isn't above killing kids, but Aya is a bit different than the other children we've met in BSD. Her character has been built up and developed, she has a fleshed-out backstory, and we've spent a lot of time with her. To kill off a little girl we've come to care about a lot would just be cruel, plus her death wouldn't really serve a narrative purpose right now.
So, what could happen?
One prediction is that Aya adding her weight to the table does dislodge the sword and she falls, but she is saved by another character. We know Kenji and Tecchou are out there right now, we haven't seen Yosano or Kyouka in ages, etc. etc.. Basically, there are definitely people out there that could come to her rescue.
But there's an option I like a lot better: Aya's ability manifests.
Aya Kōda was a 20th century Japanese novelist and essayist, and the namesake for the Aya we know in BSD. As far as we know, all the characters who are named after real-life authors possess an ability inspired by the life/work of said author. Aya doesn't have an ability yet, so logic follows that she will develop one by the end of the series.
I'm not sure where I read this, so take it with a grain of salt, but I believe that in BSD the character's abilities manifest because of trauma. Not only does Aya live in a somewhat emotionally abusive household, but she's literally been thrust into the middle of a conflict in which the world could literally end and has decided to jump off of a tall building to try to save the world -- I'd say that's pretty traumatizing!
I'm not familiar with the irl Aya Kōda's works enough to speculate about what her ability would actually do, but there's a decent chance that because of the current situation, her special ability will manifest in order to prevent her from dying and/or dislodge the sword from Bram. This would also fit absurdist storytelling very well, she's literally doing jumping off a building as a complete last ditch effort, it's a crazy plan that probably won't work -- but her other option is to just accept death, and that's not acceptable. If she were to manifest her ability in this moment, it would reinforce the idea that rebelling against the absurd has value, that even when things seem at their worst there's always something you can do.
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Anyway, these are just my thoughts! Please feel free to add anything you find relevant, especially if you're familiar with Aya's irl counterpart! See you next month ;)
Here's the BSD 110 translation I pulled the panels from.
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missbubblesoda · 1 year ago
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early in the morning, especially when it rains, and a little before noon. (1)
erwin x fem!reader
chapters: (2) | (3) | (4) | (5) | (6) | (7) | (8) | (9) | (10) | (11) | (12) | (13) | (14) | (15) | (16) | (17) | (18) | (19) | (20) | (21) | (22) | (23) | (24) | (25) | (26) | (27) | (28) | (29)
summary: I basically took Isayama’s work, forced it into a romance story, and made Erwin the love interest. Commander meets cadet and they fall in love (not instantly though)
notes: very berry canonverse (but some events were modified to fit my narrative), wasn’t intended to be this long, but it all is in the details right?
content warnings: smut where it fits (or where I make it fit. Also, reader is NOT underage, so likewise, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, please.) slow burn (I really mean it. I’m not olympic diving into any form of smut for the first chapters). no angst. I dislike angst. I would never. I could never. (Although angst can be somewhat subjective so take it with a grain of salt?)
wc: 2.1k
One could say it was the most important night of that summer. Even the cloudless sky had allowed the stars to witness the scene unfolding beneath, and only the occasional barking of faraway dogs interrupted the silence. It was the night decisions were awaiting to be made. The type of life-defining decisions that no teenager should ever be expected, or rather forced, to make. Luckily for you, you were a couple of years ahead, ahead enough to not be considered a teenager anymore. And maybe this was the reason why looking around and seeing the tightly clenched fists, trembling jaws, and sweaty foreheads of your 15-year-old Training Corps classmates made you realize that you honestly didn’t know what you were doing in the middle of it all.
The choice was simple for those who actually had one. As it was tradition, the top ten students of the class would be allowed to choose the best out of the three options presented: to join the Military Police and enjoy the safety and commodities that came with life in the innermost wall, to settle for a more humble lifestyle by doing whatever it is that they do in the Garrison, or to put their lives in the line for humanity in the Survey Corps. With young brains still under construction, no one could be trusted to make the right call. The definition of ‘right call’ being ‘one you wouldn’t regret years in the future, or next week when a titan had you in their grip.’ However, you believed that joining the Military Police came with significantly lower risks of regret. And that’s why the MP was the one you were aiming for. Or would have, if you were part of that coveted top 10. That would have been ideal.
Ideal. In an ideal world, no one would have to make such a crucial decision at that age. In fact, there wouldn’t even be crucial decisions to make, in the first place. But this wasn’t an ideal world. It was far from that. A quick glance around at the faces you had gotten used to seeing for the last 3 years was enough of a reminder, in case you had forgotten. But who could forget? All of them standing next to you had either lost someone or everyone precious in their lives when the Wall fell. Luckily for you, however, you had your immediate family alive and well in the capital. And although you didn’t own enough wealth to be accepted into the social circles of the rich, you lived a comfortable life, and most importantly, a safe one. That’s why it came as a shock to your family when you enlisted as a-
“We will reach that basement in Shiganshina. However, this requires us to retake Wall Maria”
Retake what? Your backstory was left pending for another night. Because, before you could start narrating it to yourself, a solemn, modulated voice pulled you out of your thoughts, your head instinctively turning to the stage to locate the source. And that was the first time you saw him: The 13th commander of the Survey Corps, Erwin Smith himself.
“But with the Trost gate permanently sealed, we’ll have to take the long way around from Karanes in the east”
You had heard stories about Erwin Smith. A man of unyielding drive, an iron-willed leader, a liberator, you believed you heard someone called him once. And of course there was also ‘reckless’, ‘demented’, and ‘out of it’, all of which were adjectives commonly tied to his name, especially in the capital. ‘Insane’ was your father’s preferred one, usually heard around dinner time when the topic of Erwin Smith’s latest outrageous expedition somehow found its way into the family table. And you remembered feeling sorry for the man on more than one occasion. Because, from the safety of your Sina home, the closest titan surely miles away, as you fluffed pillows and slipped under warm blankets of undisturbed rest, you had struggled to think of anyone living a more different lifestyle to yours than the commander of the Survey Corps, that one man relentlessly trying to attain the unattainable: to free humanity from the walls.
“It seems the four years we spent preparing a route for an invasion force have gone to waste”
And that night he also seemed to be trying to attain the unattainable: convincing a group of frightened individuals to join a suicide squad.
“In those four years, more than sixty percent of the Legion’s forces lost their lives”
You wondered if there was at least a single easy thing in the man’s life.
“Sixty percent in four years. An insane figure”
His voice was controlled and pleasant to listen to. Even though the things he was talking about were far from pleasant. Life scouting beyond the walls sounded as rough as it probably was. And you guessed that there was no way to make it sound appealing, no silver linings to be mentioned or talked about.
“Any trainees who join us will participate in next month’s expedition beyond the walls”
You had heard that his branch was in desperate need for new recruits, yet you could tell he had decided to let honesty do the talking that night. Because not even when discussing the dire prospect of survival of a Survey Corps member…
“We estimate thirty percent will not return”
…not even then he seemed tempted to make false promises.
“And in four years, most new recruits will be dead”
In fact, the more he spoke, the more honest and raw his words seemed to get. And while, so far, he hadn’t mentioned a single appealing thing about joining his cause, you felt you were beginning to understand it…
“But those who make it through that hell will become superior soldiers, capable of surviving anything”
You see, you had heard all the stories, but you had never seen the man before. And rumors had left out the part about how compelling he was. As he extended an open invitation to a potentially deadly celebration, his voice had a commanding yet gentle feel to it, the type associated with reliable leaders. He had an enthralling demeanor to him, the one that’s used to persuade. His words were softly spoken but rose-thorn sharp. There was something about him, the way he spoke, and carried himself. Erwin Smith certainly looked like someone who could talk the winter into skipping a year, or the rain into waiting until he got home. So yes, you were starting to get it...
“Now you have the cold, hard facts.”
After all the contemplations, it finally clicked.
“Any still willing to risk their lives, remain here.”
It makes sense you thought, why men followed him to their deaths.
“Ask yourselves, am I willing to offer my beating heart for humanity?”
Why they ‘dedicated their hearts’ as they say.
“That is all.”
Erwin Smith was intriguing. Very intriguing.
“All of you wishing to join other branches are dismissed.”
Muffled footsteps brought you back from the realm of thought. You looked around to find the previously full plaza now more than half-empty. You could hear Reiner’s heavy breathing beside you. Jean fiddling with his shirt behind you. Sasha clicking her teeth to your left. And despite the close proximity between your bodies, it all sounded so distant. As if you had been thrown underwater.
“Are you willing to die if I ordered to?”
Erwin Smith’s question, on the contrary, felt as if it had been whispered right into your ear. It felt personal and targeted. And for a brief second you forgot that, although almost everyone had already left, you were still not the only one in the plaza.
I don’t want to die. You answered in your head.
“I like the looks on your faces” You heard him say.
I don’t want to die. You repeated as you picked up your pace to catch up to Hitch at the entrance of the plaza.
“What took you so long?” she asked when you finally joined her.
“I hereby welcome you all to the Survey Corps!”
You heard Erwin Smith’s voice, now nothing more than a faint sound blending with the rustling leaves and getting carried away by the wind, as you and Hitch made your way back to the barracks.
-
“Did you hear almost all the top students joined the Survey Corps last night?” Hitch sounded particularly excited and jolly that morning. A huge smile plastered on her face.
“Did they?” You didn’t want to let yourself get too hopeful. But Hitch’s enthusiasm was contagious.
“Yep! And you know what that means right?” Your roommate gave you a cheeky grin “There might be a spot left for us at the MP after all!”
You were sure there most certainly was a spot for Hitch. But for you, that was a whole different story. You were no Mikasa. You were no Reiner. And given the fact that your physical capabilities were pretty average, even a little below that on bad days, you were certain you weren’t even in the top 20.
“Jeez. Woman, please look excited! We are set for life!”
She is set for life. “I’m not sure I’ll make the cut. It was the physical aptitude test-”
“Who cares? To hell with that test. What would you need stamina for inside Wall Sina anyway? I heard they don’t even use ODM in the MP. In our first year, maybe we’ll have to run after one of those random idiots who steal papayas from the street stalls, but I’m sure we can manage that much”
You laughed at the thought “You catch him. I’ll write the report”
“Deal!” she said “but once we climb up the ranks…” her eyes lit up with ambition as a result of whatever was going through her head. And you could tell she was plotting something questionable. But before you could start prying she added “Plus you did well everywhere else.”
She was right. While your physical performance wasn’t necessarily stellar, your academics were very good. As an overthinker, often worrying too much about too many, you overstudied for tests like no one in your class did, and your efforts often resulted in excellent marks.
“You’re right. Everyone save Shadis left something nice in my report card. Nothing personal, I’m sure”
Hitch nodded enthusiastically, clearly satisfied with herself because her words were having the effect she intended. And they really were, your head was starting to pitch more and more ideas to support the possibility that maybe, just maybe, you would be able to join the Military Police.
“You know what? You’re right, Hitch. We’ll join the MP and we’ll be on our way to the capital tomorrow.”
Wrong. Later that day, as you held the application paper in one hand, fountain pen in the other, you couldn’t help but snort when imagining how foolish you must have looked that morning, believing you would be back home as a member of the MP brigade. But there was no use in reminiscing now. You needed to focus and make the second best choice.
But focus for what? The only available options for you were the Garrison and the Survey Corps. And the choice was plain and obvious, wasn’t it? The Garrison wasn’t cool or anything but it was safe. Except, of course, for that incident from a couple of weeks ago, when that random titan showed up again, and tried to obliterate Trost District. Luckily for you, however, you had been assigned to assist with the relocation of the citizens once they entered Wall Rose, so you didn’t even have to see any titan at all. That had been a rare occurrence. And with the Survey Corps, the chances of survival were significantly lower. Zero for someone with your physical capabilities.
Are you willing to die if I ordered to?
Erwin Smith’s words from the night before showed up uninvited.
Those who make it through that hell will become superior soldiers, capable of surviving anything.
You could hear his solemn voice loud and clear, even one day later.
I like the look on your face.
Your hand now hovered dangerously over the ‘Survey Corps’ box, centuries worth of handed-down survival instincts forgotten in the blink of an eye.
I don’t want to die.
Your brain repeated as a last resort, right before the ink found the paper.
I don’t want to die.
Now it sounded like a complain more than a petition.
I hereby welcome you to the Survey Corps.
You heard him say, somewhere inside your head, as you turned in your application and walked away.
-
next chapter
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uchihaharlot · 8 months ago
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if you're taking requests, could i politely beg you for some Sasuke head *ahem* canons please 😫🥵😮‍💨 sfw or nsfw totally up to you... the way you write these Uchiha fellas is just damn perfect!! 🫶🏻 💐 💗
Nonny!!! You are officially my very first Sasuke-kun request!! I can't believe the day has finally arrived!!! Let's dissect this man to the fullest capacity, shall we?
Politely beg all you want, Sasuke couldn't care less. In fact, you'll get more out of him if you bitch a little. Not much, but enough (lol you clever slut, my gentle mind just got what you meant by 'Sasuke head *ahem* canons).
I also appreciate your praise!! I'm am merely just a vessel, spreading Lord Indra's will. Every single one of these fine ass men deserved better!!!
N/SFW; Sasuke-kun, please come back; bit of a weird AU here; just go with it
Sasuke, as we all know. Was the shadow throughout most of his childhood in the eyes of his father. His older brother took first place in many aspects of his traumatic life. I secretly feel like he wouldn't have liked being the favorite anyways.
He's so emotionally stunted, it's rather sad and embarrassing to him. Aside from the mostly 'brotherly' affection Itachi gave him and friendships of the few around him. Sasuke doesn't take kindly to your admission of want. Or belligerent desire as he calls it.
He doesn't really accept that he's taken an unavoidable liking to you either very well. Pity, really. Ask just about any Uchiha, catching feelings is like having the world's worst cold. So, Sasuke avoids you like the damn plague, but you're secretly on his mind. Which still pisses him off.
Gets so damn jealous if any other Uchiha talks to you. He knows how his family is. Especially his fucking cousin, Shisui. Despite his best efforts, Sasuke will never live this down. The moment you met, he knew you were his. Case in point. (Plus, Shisui only got your attention to prove a point to Sasuke, that his little cousin does want you.)
Dates, are not his style, but goes out of his comfort zone to hopefully garner your affections. The more he thinks of you, the harder it becomes to ignore these whims and feelings. That and your first 'date' wasn't entirely romantic or appropriate. Having his, 'emotional support fox' follow you from a distance was off putting. And creepy.
So here you are, Sasuke standing outside your door. Not capable of coping that his body is acting of its own volition. He's so on and off with his emotions. Can't decide if he is coming or going.
But in all honesty, he's very partial to coming in your mouth. Holy gods, yea. Doesn't even remember how it all led up to your gorgeous lips around the base of this cock as his hot seed slips down the back of your throat. Sasuke was so damn at war with himself that his body was on autopilot making all the decisions.
Could he really complain? Yea, probably. Though he doesn't, seeing you pop off his cock slow and cute as his cum drips a little down your bottom lip is more than enough to acquiesce his bitter mood. Cures it basically.
Makes it all the easier for him to just give in and push you flat onto the couch. A little more rough than intended, but you moan and writhe all the same. Even more so as the warmth of his mouth and tongue lavish you in a particularly primal way. Makes you question his virginal status, but not wanting to ruin the flow and your orgasm on his face. You leave it unsaid. The Uchiha are renowned geniuses, and the rinnegan really is the best at its craft. Ten times more powerful than the sharingan, its a no brainer that he holds all that raw power in the blink of an eye. Which was wielded to make you cum twice over again.
Heavy petting and lip service is what you get for the time being, I don't want top break your heart, but Sasuke is still heavily guarded...until the next time perhaps.
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