#and SOMEHOW restrained myself from posting it until now lmao

[finvisual]

Jancy Week 2022: DAY THREE -- love languages

*plays chasing cars softly in the background*

[athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit]

Of Ice and Blood

Part 2

Hello there! I present to you, part 2 of my orc x fem!human series!

I still don't know what to name this fic of mine

I should've thought about the title in the first place lmao

Anyways! I'll try updating constantly if I can. Enjoy reading!

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Pairing: Tai'chi Kashharzol (Orc) x Pearl Blackbell (Human OC/Reader)

Warnings: Cursing, lots of cursing. Mild violence and mentions of injury.

UD 01/10/21 : CLEANED AND PROOFREAD PROPERLY (hey I did my best)

(reference to the mask she's currently wearing //her hair is still braided// )

*

Even with the tedious introduction the professor was on about, I couldn’t help but pick up the whispers of my human classmates, and the unmistakable nasty odor they were giving off.

“Hey. Look at that orc over there.”

“Tsk. Beast. Why is it even here—”

“I bet it’s gonna get suspended from breaking someone’s arm.”

“It looks like he’s gonna kill somebody soon.”

Snickers and clicks of disgust went around the group.

The professor shushed them, not quite knowing what they were talking about before he moved on.

I cursed, feeling my blood boil from their words. The orc wasn’t even doing anything! And they slander him like that? I would love to break their fucking ne—

No, damn it! No violence! Mama will go crazy if she finds out I broke someone’s spine. Behave and endure. Remember your training.

...but seriously though, I'm going to fucking snap their legs. Nah, perhaps use pepper spray on their eyes until they go blind, even though the mixture inside my spray bottle wasn’t made to have permanent effects on someone, but it would still cause great discomfort.

I hugged my backpack, the thought of my dusters inside somehow comforting.

I didn’t notice Tai'chi was taking glances at me out of concern while I was imagining how I’d smash those jerks’ faces.

************************************

My mind wandered around the interaction by the gates earlier, and how... contradicting... it was when I entered the building.

Everything passed like a blur as I continued daydreaming about other things, hardly paying attention to what everyone else was saying. Plus it takes a lot of concentration to survive their pungent scents.

A bell rang, bringing me back down to Earth. It was lunchtime already.

Everyone seemed relieved as they started filing out of the area and headed towards the cafeteria. [a/n: Ooh that rhymed] I failed to see the lingering glances of barely masked distaste in our direction.

I glanced at the or— Tai'chi, whom I found out was looking at me already, stunning me at how he stared for a moment before I broke eye contact and stood up, which he also did. I almost fell back down my chair when I scented him.

Wha—

How the fuck did I not smell him before?!

I must’ve focused too much on the awful odor surrounding me that it didn’t register this—

This, oh my God.

To describe it, it was simply so— manly (or is it Orcish?). Like the scent of fresh earth and the warmth of a fireplace in the midst of a cold night. Embers crackling and sending sparks up into the sky.

He doesn’t smell one trace of a beast at all! In fact, I’ve never smelled someone so clean, so pleasant, all the while exuding masculinity, and was that a tad hint of vanilla?

For the first time in a while, I couldn’t place what the feeling was exactly. He simply smells so— good. Which is a positive sign?

I looked up to his eyes once more before I blurted out, probably a little too high-pitched;

“Lunch?”

Seriously? That’s what comes out of your damn mouth?

“I mean, do you want to go grab some lunch? At the cafeteria?” I clarified to sound normal and unaffected, (even when I clearly am).

Was the last part necessary? You’ve broken noses, dealt painful blows like a skilled warrior, but you’re embarrassing yourself.

I was busy reprimanding myself that I nearly missed what he said.

"Sure.”

He straightened up, and I was then faced with the reality of how damn tall he is. Or is it because I’m short? I barely reached over 5 feet, and he is standing there, almost three heads taller than me. Was he hunching for my sake earlier?

Wowie…

I scented a hint of pride, and was that a small quirk of his lips for a second there?

Huh. My mask is a lifesaver, or else he would've seen my jaw dropping.

I followed him out and headed straight for the campus’ cafeteria, all the while trying to converse here and there.

****************************

'Trying’ was not the right word.

Definitely not.

It was surprising, how easy and nice it was to talk to him. I could scent his apprehensiveness when I talked to him at first, but he relaxed not long after I introduced myself properly.

It felt... natural.

I learned that he came from the Northside of the country and moved to the city last year to pursue his dreams and to find a better future for his clan. I also told him about my family and home, along with my reasons for being here, leaving out the… violent part.

“My family and my entire clan wanted the best for me and my brothers. Up in the North, education is… very limited. Although ever since we were young, we were taught everything from our clan’s history, how to hunt for food, what herbs and plants were poisonous, what were medicinal and edible, how to stay alive, survive and so on.”

He paused for a moment before continuing.

“But we were cut off from the modern world. Times are changing, fast. Global warming being a major problem, leaving a huge impact on our living. So, when my clan heard about a school in the city, open to all races, they turned to us, the youth, and we took this chance.”

I looked down and thought about how disconnected the others were, only given the freedom to modern society eight years ago. Eight years is a long time, but I guess it’ll take more than that for everyone to get used to the change. That doesn’t mean they should treat them poorly!

As I realized I’ve been quiet for a while, I shot up and apologized for not replying.

“No, it’s okay. You looked like you were in deep thought. I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Y-yeah… I was—”

“Thinking about how the majority of the human race still see us as beasts?”

There was a bit of spite in his voice, although barely noticeable. Or was it because I caught a whiff of it? No one was paying much attention to us while we were walking. But I noticed many of them hastily stepping aside and felt their glares at my back.

“How did you know?” I asked, curious.

“I could tell from your- I could tell, from the way you frowned earlier when one of those humans said something.”

Oh. He was looking at me that time?

“Frowned? But my mask—”

“It’s easy to tell if you are frowning when your eyebrows scrunch up like that. Believe me, my father does that a lot.”

“Ah. Well. It was just very rude of them. To talk shit about you and your kind like that, as if they were any better. You weren’t even doing anything, and they judge you based on your race. Orcs are civilized and intelligent just like any other, and I don’t understand why there’s still so much prejudice after eight damn years—”

I stopped and restrained the urge to go wild and curse every single human who smelled so foul every time we pass by.

“Sorry. I was...rambling.”

Was I this talkative? Maybe it's because I never had anyone to talk to.

He didn’t reply, which I found strange, so I glanced over at him and saw his eyes wide open and brows shooting up in surprise. It was almost comical.

“Uh, Tai'chi?”

Before he could even utter a word, we arrived at a huge hall where students were chatting and enjoying their lunch. Still, I noticed some humans were giving unkind looks to a gathering of goblins eating at the far left side corner of the cafeteria.

And of course, I didn’t fail to smell that wretched odor coming from a group of girls on my right when we walked in. I also recognized the one who pushed me, (No doubt it was intentional). I had to pinch my nose over my mask just but I could only block out half of it.

Ah shit, this mask doesn’t have proper air filtration.

I groaned as I tried to cut off the noise and thickened scents. For real, I wasn’t expecting it to be this harsh! I could literally smell discrimination and hate in the air!

Fuck. I should’ve worn my other mask. I swear I’m gonna burst if I stay and inhale more of that any longer—

“Pearl, are you okay?”

I groaned again and didn’t reply, busy controlling my sense of smell to even open my mouth. We were standing there like a pair of street posts, blocking a small part of the main entrance. That is if there was a 5ft- tall post. I’m more like that foldable caution sign.

“Pearl—”

“Hey, you there! Freaks! Move out of the way.”

Great. Another awful fucking odor. And what a coincidence! It was the one I smelled this morning!

“Are you deaf? I said—”

He shouldn’t have grabbed my shoulder, shouldn’t have tried to shove me aside, for the second I felt his hand reaching for me, and before Tai'chi could pull me away, my reflexes kicked in.

What did I do exactly? Oh, I simply grabbed that damned arm of his, threw him over my shoulder, and slammed him down on the tiled floor in front of me, finishing a one-arm shoulder throw.

The people in the area halted what they were doing and a short-lived silence came over, broken by whispers.

So much for keeping a low profile.

The guy I just performed basic self-defense on was spitting curse words at me. He was still on the floor, trying not to voice the pain in his back.

“Freak! You’re a monster, aren’t you?! How dare you do this to me. Don't you know who I am?!" he yelled.

Did he mean me or? Either way, what he said was not true.

I tried to calm my anger down and gave him a forced smile, under my mask, and mustered up the voice and tone I always used when I’m annoyed.

But right now, I am pissed.

“Now, dear, fellow, human, what you said was clearly untrue. I am entirely human and this person beside me is an orc. Or were you blinded by your overgrown ego and disgusting attitude to see the obvious in front of you? Surely that must be it. The entrance to the cafeteria is wide enough for two people to not serve as a hindrance to the ones coming in, but still, you chose to try and shove me aside yourself. Well, I won’t apologize but I’ve had enough pushing for one day. And lastly, no, I do not know you and I don’t care.”

I gritted my teeth, my face hurting from smiling forcefully. The cafeteria was quite silent enough all the while and no doubt they heard every word I said.

Fuck.

I twisted around and bolted out of the building.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! I blew it! Fucking blew my chance to have a normal college life! Now everyone will think I’m some crazy person and would, without a doubt, avoid me forever.

I was too busy cursing and walking away, planning to hide in a hole for all eternity that I didn’t feel the presence of someone following me.

Without thinking much of where I was heading, my feet led me to a secluded part of the uni. Tall trees lining up before and around me looking like an entrance to a forest, and so I tried hiding behind one. Hoping that the guards wouldn’t notice and detain me or something.

I sat down between the great roots of an oak tree and rested my head on top of my knees as I took deep breaths and listened.

Nature always had a place in my heart. How could it not? When you can hear the chirps of little birds, the soothing sound of leaves rustled by the wind. And the peace that comes with it all.

Not to mention it smells so relaxing.

“Hello there.”

************************************

Haha! What will Pearl do next I wonder, and who is this person who followed her??

Had to cut it off at that part because my dearest self just loves cliff hangers—

And because I wanted to post something as soon as possible.

Hope you enjoyed! I will be working on the third part asap.

Tags: @kokokatsworld @crackinanutshell

[makeste]

not a cavalcade of Katsuki panels

damn, anon. you stone cold came for me with that last part. and just fyi to all onlookers, this was before I had posted the headcanons ask proving this exact point lmao.

but a challenge has been issued now! so I will do my best to pick a variety of impartial panels featuring a veritable medley of characters. not sure I can really provide much in the way of insightful analysis of symbolism and metaphors and stuff, but I can certainly type a lot of words about the pretty pictures, and about how cool people look when they’re standing around all serious surrounded by clouds of billowing smoke.

why I like it: I figured we’d start off strong. no point in holding back. can the other panels possibly even hope to compete. maybe. we’ll see.

why I like it: because, you see, he punched a giant robot, and it exploded. you see that, there? and the text was all “SMAASH” in humongous comic book letters, and it was pretty cool. also Deku is very tiny and the robot is very big. and just to clarify, most of the time if a tiny fifteen-year-old child tries to punch an 80-foot robot, it’s not actually going to go all that well, and the robot probably will not explode. but in this case it did! and so this is a very novel and unexpected outcome, which makes it all the more visually striking, which is a very good thing to be when you are trying to show off the brand new superpower which your protagonist just inherited, and letting people see it in action for the very first time.

why I like it: so you may have noticed we just skipped a whoooole bunch of chapters lol. this is because there are almost 300 of them, and so I’m going to have to use a bit of discretion. anyway so this is a gorgeous panel. just, everything about it. the lighting; the expressions; Shouto’s hesitation; and his mom facing away, not looking back yet, and us not yet knowing how she’ll react. and the fact that they’re visually separated by as much distance as possible -- at opposite ends of a two-page spread -- and yet they’re so close, closer than they’ve been in years. mm. anyway it’s pretty.

why I like it: first of all because there’s nothing like seeing a deserving character get punched in the fucking face, and few characters IMO have been as deserving as Stain. and second because this is Deku, showing up to save the day out of nowhere at the last minute, because excuse you, but he’s a motherfuckin’ hero. sorry to interrupt your evening plans of stabbing a kid while lecturing him about why, philosophically, he deserves to die. but I’ve got a package here for a Mister Stain. it’s from Mister Smaassh, with two A’s and three S’s.

why I like it: fyi, anon said nothing about a cavalcade of BakuDeku panels. you didn’t think I’d let that loophole go to waste, did you? but nonetheless I will try to restrain myself until we get to the second ground beta fight. anyway, I like this panel because All Might’s canonically 7′2″ self looks about twelve feet tall here, and he is just TOWERING over these two boys, who’ve been tasked with somehow outwitting him during this curiously sadistic final exam. and it’s just an interesting perspective, because we know they both look up to him, and here they are physically looking way, way up, up, up at him.

why I like it: now this is how you do a villain entrance. I love absolutely everything about this. the sheer scale of destruction, and the way he’s just sort of casually hanging out there in the middle of the panel almost dwarfed by all this dust and smoke and carnage, and yet is unquestionably the focus of the page. the way that you can’t actually see his face, not yet. not until the end of the chapter. the way the clouds are drifting so calmly and peacefully in the night sky in stark contrast to the horrific events that are about to take place on the ground. this panel gives me literal chills, especially when I think about All for One’s creepy theme music playing in the background.

why I like it: this panel is so iconic to me that it’s one of the first ones I immediately knew I had to go and find when I got this ask. this entire fight is perfection from start to finish, and there are other panels that are more artistically striking if I’m being honest (in particular, the ones where he’s half-transformed with his face perfectly split down the middle between Muscle Might and Skinny Steve). but there’s just something about his determination in this panel, though. something about the fire in his eyes, and the way he clenches his fist. “my heart is still the heart of the Symbol of Peace.” I remember being sooooo fucking anxious when his true form was revealed, wondering if this was it, if the people watching were going to turn on him, if he was going to lose both the fight and their faith. turns out I was wrong on both accounts. basically what I am trying to tell you guys is that this panel was and is still the most badass thing I’ve ever seen.

why I like it: because he’s just a frail old man doing what he can to protect the last flickering embers of the thing that enables him to fight on. there’s something so fucking desperate and yet so determined about this image. he knows it’s futile, but still he persists.

why I like it: damn it was hard to find a “you’re next” panel with just the right angle I like best. this is probably as close as it gets, but I kind of wish Deku was somehow visible in this image as well. but at any rate this is an amazing moment, and All Might is dramatic af for basically no reason but IT’S BADASS. “no I’m not going to actually look where I’m pointing. it’s cooler this way.” or was it because he wasn’t sure if he could keep the emotion off of his face if he actually turned and looked? in this moment of knowing that it was finally over for him, that he would never be the Symbol again, and knowing that he had no choice but to move on and entrust that burden to the next generation? damn.

why I like it: I... fucking... okay, here’s a fun fact. did you know that I still get emotional over this panel almost a full two years after reading it?? obviously a good 84% of it is the context -- All Might losing his power; Deku being forced to take up the mantle before he feels ready; All Might feeling responsible for him; and both of them being so desperately grateful to have each other in that moment. but don’t underestimate that remaining 16% either though! this is just an extremely well-drawn hug, on top of everything else. All Might pressing Deku’s head to his shoulder with his fingers laced in his hair is some mighty fine fiercely protective hug tropes there, you guys. and the way Deku is clinging to his shirt so tightly his knuckles have probably gone white?? while he cries?? while both of them cry? ON THE BEACH? WITH THE WAVES LAPPING SOFTLY AT THE SHORE IN THE PEACEFUL NIGHT AIR?? jesus fucking christ. this hug contains more emotions than I am capable of carrying inside me at once. I just sort of have to let them flow in and out little by little until they finally subside.

why I like it: you bet I skipped right from Kamino straight to Deku VS Kacchan Part 2. no regrets. anyway, so these two panels are an absolutely gorgeous one-two punch. so much has changed from the days when they were innocent little kids marching off into the woods to have adventures. they’ve changed. their relationship has changed. and yet, at the end of the day, Izuku is still willing to follow Katsuki even without being given any kind of explanation. and Katsuki still seeks out Izuku when he’s on the verge of having a spectacular emotional breakdown. because he doesn’t know who else to turn to. and because despite everything, there is trust there still, on some deep, fundamental level neither of them fully understands or knows how to acknowledge. anyway, so these two panels just give me a ton of feels all about the passage of time and how everything changes and how you can’t get back what’s lost, but also sometimes if you look deep enough you find that parts of it were never fully gone.

why I like it: because in a striking display of dramatic main character energy, these boys decided to stage their life-changing destiny-affirming rival fight on the coolest possible stage in the middle of the goddamn night. and then Katsuki made it even better by producing WAY MORE SMOKE than his attack by all rights should have produced! and then they went and crouched down all symmetrically so as to more poetically make intense eye contact at each other. I really like panels with smoke and/or dust clearing dramatically. there are like four more of them coming up on this list. what can I say. it’s cinematic.

why I like it: I actually had this one as my icon for a while. it’s rare imo to see an action panel that’s so balanced and has so much going on and is so clean and easy to read. both of their poses are so dynamic. I like the way the arc of Izuku’s kick is drawn, and I love the way you can clearly see that Katsuki propelled himself backwards with his quirk in order to dodge it. it’s just a really cool little panel that for me perfectly sums up the general feel of this fight, and its awesome choreography.

why I like it: actually you know what, before I go any further, let me skip ahead a bit and add three more panels with this same energy.

I just really, really love these rare moments when all differences between them are momentarily forgotten and they’re just two teenage boys caught up in the intense pressure of an awkward social situation. the one enemy neither of them is the least bit equipped to handle. anyways Horikoshi clearly enjoys it too because he seems to delight in drawing it over and over and over.

why I like it: because it’s more billowing smoke and dust. because it’s Endeavor, the guy we all swore we would never ever root for, and then 160 chapters later Horikoshi pulls this shit without an ounce of shame. because it’s All Might’s pose, but tweaked juuuuuust enough so that Enji can avoid copyright claims. because he knew that pose well enough to know which arm not to use. because Endeavor is a profoundly flawed human being, wholly incapable of filling the void All Might left behind. and yet he still tries. because it’s better than nothing, and because it’s all he can do. it’s the one thing he can do, his sole redeeming virtue. he tries. he doesn’t give up. anyway so yeah, Horikoshi didn’t have to take the single most unlikable person in the entire manga and give him the world’s most controversial and openly scorned redemption arc. but he did! and I think it’s one of the best things about this entire manga.

why I like it: because nothing in BnHA is just black and white!! it’s messy and layered and complex, just like in the real world. Shouto despised his dad for almost his entire life. with good reason! Enji was abusive and selfish and treated his son more like a prized possession than a person. we as readers are fully aware of all of this, and we sympathize with Shouto 100%, and that’s completely by design. Horikoshi is well aware of this. so for him to still give us this little moment, where Shouto is so relieved that Enji survived that he drops to the floor and presses his face against his hands in this little prayer gesture -- whatever you think it might mean -- is just so fucking powerful, and again speaks to his commitment to refusing to let anything in this series be completely clear-cut and unambiguous. I love that the characterization of Shouto and Natsu hating their dad exists side by side with the equally authentic characterization of them being terrified that they’re about to watch him die. because those two things aren’t contradictory! sometimes that’s just how it is. anyway so this is a beautiful moment of nuance that instantly adds so much to this relationship with just a single panel.

why I like it: for once the symbolism is so obvious that even I can’t fail to miss it! Izuku’s face half in light and half in shadow as he thinks about the power bestowed on him. “All for One’s power.” anyway so in my mind Izuku having AFO could not be any more fucking foreshadowed if he was wearing a freaking t-shirt with the Musketeers saying on it and the background was peppered with little Sistine Chapel-esque images of AFO giving his quirk to his brother lmao. but regardless of how it does end up playing out, this is nicely done.

why I like it: I wasn’t sure whether I should include this image, given that I just made a whole separate post about it a few days ago. but I just really like it, okay. this is one of the all-time great entrances in the series. Bakugou being perched on that pole for absolutely no reason other than to add visual interest. Todoroki’s hair blowing dramatically in the wind. Katsuki’s frayed pant hems and characteristically asymmetrical facial expression. the fact that you just know both of them spent the ride home with their faces pressed to the windows of their taxi cab hoping desperately for an opportunity to break in their brand new licenses, and then lo and behold. that’s amazing you guys. it’s almost like you’re main characters or something.

why I like it: they did great.

why I like it: because I lost my fucking shit at this fucking reveal and can you even blame me?? we knew coming in how much trouble Endeavor and Hawks had dealing with just one of these Noumus, and then Horikoshi goes and divulges that the villains have at least A DOZEN MORE waiting on standby. including Hood right there in the foreground, which is a fantastic touch! this panel, for me, almost instantaneously established the League as a legitimate threat once again, and gave me the kind of spine-tingly evil vibes I hadn’t felt since the Kamino arc. and while the payoff might not quite have lived up to my expectations, the Mirko fight at least was more than worth it.

why I like it: BILLOWING SMOKE AND DUST CLOUDS. you just see this vast landscape of destruction that Tomura has oh-so-casually wrought, and this once-powerful enemy utterly defeated on his hands and knees bowing before him. and it’s just like, oh. Tomura just became a fucking king, didn’t he. he finally stepped up and became the main villain. really the main villain, not just an awkward fumbling NEET whose adopted dad is not-so-secretly pulling all the strings. he did this himself. he went out and conquered and Awakened and won himself a fucking army. and he’s just standing there so cool and casual in the aftermath of it all. and then he goes “oh wait, you guys have money right, that means you can buy us the good sushi.” yes, Tomura. yes.

why I like it: um because this panel is fucking amazing?? hello?? do I really need to explain this one. the detail is jaw-dropping. he’s got the little scars which are either from the head wound that caused his death, or from his Noumufication. his expression is fucking heartbreaking, and the transition from Kumo to Kuro is so subtle and seamless, and yet it distinctly is both of them. this panel is gorgeous and fucking haunting and almost made me gasp when I first saw it.

why I like it: the decision to have the night sky take up so much of the space in the panel was [chef kiss]. nothing says existential like the night sky on a cold winter’s night.

why I like it: this is the best panel in the entire fucking series.

why I like it: dude. showing his actual family holding onto him with their hands in the same spot as the severed fashion!hands was a stroke of genius in and of itself. but combining that with the emotional tension of them desperately trying to hold him back and protect him from AFO?? that’s just so fucking smooth it’s almost inhuman. just how much meaning can you cram into a single image?? sometimes I wonder just how far in advance Horikoshi plans these things.

why I like it: guess I’m just a big fat sucker for panels of Tomura calmly standing around in the ruins of his own senseless destruction. the sense of scale on this one is really great, too. and yet again, those dust clouds. gotta love it.

why I like it: because Tomura literally appears out of nowhere, like he’s ripping a hole through the fabric of time and space. it’s so fucking sudden and he looks evil as FUCK, and Deku and Kacchan are totally caught off-guard, and it is scary. this is one of those panels that made me say “holy shit” out loud. in fact I practically screamed it. and the angles are all funky and weird, and the sky is all BLACK FOR NO REASON, and it really just feels like Tomura could reach right over and just MURDER THEM like it was nothing. just like that. this panel is so incredibly effective at conveying how hopelessly outclassed the boys are. they’re not even in his league, and it’s honestly terrifying.

and on that happy note, we have come to the end of my list of favorite panels! and I gotta say, it’s really gratifying that a good deal of them are from this year alone. I said it in another post a few days ago, but imo the overall quality of the series has been insanely high as of late, and it honestly just blows my mind whenever I stop to think about it. the art is still this good six years into the game. the story is still this good. we are spoiled goddammit.

[firesidebi]

she knew him for a summer

Of course the first time I decide to write fanfic for the first time in two years is the time that ao3 decides to to maintenance lmao. Anyways this was very much inspired by the posts and fics @gr33kg0ds makes about Sally and Poseidon.

--------

Day 2

He had now noticed her for a second time. This was quite unusual for him, as he had managed to break the long standing habit of glancing in the direction of mortals. He was quite content with observing a particularly well-looking one every now and then but he had finally begun to congratulate himself on the fact that he was now able to let them slip from his mind. It had been a few decades since he and his brothers promised not to entangle themselves with humans and he was quite positive that none of them had broken that particular oath. 

It was hard at first, glancing past the mortals. He had never quite realized how much his eyes seemed to linger on them until he was told he was no longer allowed to. The first couple of years were hard, especially when they approached him. He was not used to resisting the urge to offer a beautiful girl a crooked grin, not used to having to restrain flashing his sea-green eyes in the direction of a handsome mortal man. He knew that he was probably getting along better than Zeus but that did not mean that he was entirely without suffering. But as the years went on it became easier and easier. Now, on the off chance that he visited the mortal world, he was used to rejecting the individuals that attempted to throw themselves at him. He no longer felt the overwhelming desire to approach a beautiful human and woo them away from whomever was already occupying their time. He was content with observing. 

He was strolling on the shore when he once again saw the young woman with long black curls and warm brown skin. The sun had set not too long ago and the pier was filled with the sounds of mortals laughing and cheering over the various games and rides they were occupying themselves with. The beach was no longer as crowded as it had been earlier that same day and he was quite content with the ambient noise of the boardwalk and waves around him. However, the noise was soon interrupted by a shriek. Jumping slightly, he turned around and glanced over at a small group entertaining themselves around a tiny bonfire. Laughter was now coming from the group as a girl with blonde hair tied up in a ponytail shoved her friend, who was shaking with laughter. Even from his distance, he was able to notice how her laugh made her whole body shake, causing her curls to bounce around her shoulders. In the midst of her laughter she glanced up in his direction and the two made eye contact. He quickly looked away, pretending not to notice how her eyes softened with recognition from their encounter the previous day. He continued to stroll down the beach. 

Day 8

“You know you are going to have to tell me your name eventually Mr. Stranger,” she said as she waded through the water. “It’s not fair that I’ve told you mine and you keep holding yours against me.”

He chuckled and splashed some water in her direction, causing her to stumble back in a poor attempt to evade it. 

“I don’t understand why you insisted on going in the water if every time I go to splash you-.”

“We’ve already had this discussion Fish Boy,” she laughed. “If I wanted to get wet I would go under the water myself.”

“Did you just call me Fish Boy?” he asked incredulously. 

She offered him a radiant grin that he was growing more and more fond of as the days passed on. At first it had been a fleeting sense of satisfaction any time he managed to pull one out of her, but now he began to notice that he was going out of his way to see if he could produce the reaction from her. 

“Don’t pretend that I haven’t noticed how they swarm around you from time to time. For a public beach they don’t seem to really know to stay away from the shore.”

“It’s not my fault that they’re drawn to me,” he huffed. And it was true, it wasn’t his fault that they came over to him so close to the mortals. He was their ruler and they were his subjects, of course they would come over to him for aid or out of curiosity. 

“Are you sure that you haven’t laced yourself with fish food?” she asked. 

“Believe me, they hate that stuff,” he said. “Unless a fish has only grown up without any other alternative those thin flakes are absolutely disgusting compared to what they could be having.”

“And you know this how?” she laughed.

He turned to face her and noticed that she had moved closer to him yet again. Despite the protests from his splashing, she still seemed to be drawn to him. He didn’t know if it was because of his godly-ness or if she simply liked to be in close proximity to him. A small part of him hoped for the later. 

“I know this Sally Jackson,” he smirked. “Because as you have so kindly pointed out, the fish like to converse with me.”

She rolled her eyes at him and waded deeper into the water. 

“Don’t tell me then,” she said. “But mark my words Fish Boy, I will find out your secrets!”

He let out a laugh of his own as she dove into the water, purposely kicking her legs up to splash him. 

Day 20

She had seen him. Of course, mortals were always prone to viewing the actions of gods but the mist covered it up. He had seen it over the millennia, the mist disguising his conflicts both on land and in the sea. How many times had he been battling one of the many monsters that had resurged from Tartarus for it to be reported as nothing more than a sudden hurricane on the mortal news? That was the point of the mist after all, for the mortals not to see. For them not to have any inkling of the godly world.

But Sally had seen him. 

These last two weeks had been dangerous for him. He knew he should not be getting close with any mortal but for some reason he still couldn’t manage to break whatever was forming between him and Sally Jackson. She was enchanting like no mortal had ever been before. She was carefree and did not seem to care that those around them would falter while sparing a passing glance at him. She did not hesitate to roll her eyes at him when he made a particularly bad joke or glare at him when he still refused to tell her his name (though now she had made a guessing game out of it, hoping to trip him up one day). Her laugh moved through her whole body and he couldn’t help but look her way when he heard the melodic sound escape from her lips. The last two weeks of spending time in the sun with her had caused her already brown skin to darken even further and made the soft sprinkling of freckles adorning her face and shoulders deepen. She was mesmerizing and dangerous and she had somehow seen him through the mist. 

He wasn’t doing anything particularly damning, nothing that would cause the mist to have to exaggerate its hold over the eyes of mortals. The sun had gone down not too long ago and the beach was not particularly crowded in the area he occupied. This was good, for even though he had been spending most of his time on land he still had business to attend to in the sea. A hippocampi had tracked him down to update him on the conflicts in the southern Atlantic. As god of the sea, it was up to him to find a way to settle the issue without too many repercussions on either side. He was caught up in the information and did not hear the soft footsteps from behind him, if he had he may have had time to think of an explanation. 

“So,” he heard a familiar voice drawl and a pit developed in his stomach. “You weren’t lying when you said you talked to the fish.”

Sensing the change in atmosphere, the hippocampi dove back under the water without any preamble and left his king without any means to explain himself. 

“I-,” he stuttered as he turned around to face the shorter woman. She had her arms crossed and was looking up at him with an indiscernible expression. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

Sally rolled her eyes and took a step closer. Although he was immortal and had dealt with conflicts much more heinous than this, he had been absent of the dread that lay within his chest for a long time now. He had grown unfamiliar with the piercing gaze of a mortal that did not worship him. 

“This stuff,” she said, gesturing to the ocean. “This stuff is something I have lived my life seeing. Nobody else seems to see it and everyone calls me crazy. Are you going to be like them?”

“No,” he spluttered. 

He hadn’t even hesitated.  

“Then I want you to start explaining yourself,” Sally said coolly. “I want you to explain what the fuck I just saw, why I am seeing it, and how you’re involved with all of it.” 

“You’re going to think it’s crazy, mortals always do.”

She didn’t falter at his use of the word ‘mortal.’ Instead, she stepped closer to him and looked up at him defiantly. 

“Try me,” she whispered. 

He opened his mouth and then closed it. He didn’t want to scare her off but something in the back of his mind told him that if she wasn’t scared off by now then she would never be. Something even further back told him that it would be better for everyone if she was scared. Shoving aside his thoughts he reached out his hand and took hers into it, silently pleased that she had not flinched away from his touch. 

“Let’s take a walk Sally Jackson,” he said softly. “And I shall tell you everything.” 

Day 29

It had been almost a month since he had been drawn to Sally. It had been over a week now that she knew of his identity and everything else that came with it. But she had not ran from him or his proclamation that he was ‘Poseidon the Almighty God of the Sea.’ She had taken his words in stride and did not interrupt him once during their entire conversation. Sally had saved all her questions for the end. 

“Why am I able to see through the mist?”

“So that first day I saw you, the trident you were holding wasn’t a prop?”

“My parents were killed in an unexplained crash, is that the fault of your brother?” 

“Why are you here?”

Of all the questions she had posed he had tried to give her an honest explanation for each of them. He didn’t know why she could see through the mist, nor if his brother was involved in any of the suffering she had gone through. The only question that had remained unanswered was her inquiry about his presence. He didn’t want to lie to her and say he didn’t know, he knew well enough why he had decided to dwell in the mortal world for so much longer than he allowed himself these past couple of decades. He knew that every time she leaned on him he could feel the same spot she had rested herself burning that very night back in his palace. He knew that every time she looked up at him he felt as if he had found something that had been missing for a long time. Every smile and laugh that he brought out of her presented him with a deep sense of satisfaction that he was the one able to make her react in such a way. 

He knows why he is here. And he thinks that she knows to. 

Day 35

They’re drinking and he can imagine the jibes that Dionysus would be sending his way if he could see him. He prided himself on not overly indulging himself at parties and gatherings on Olympus, leaving that to Dionysus and Apollo or even Aphrodite if it was a particularly good party. 

The party he was at currently did not even begin to scratch the surface of extravagant. However, what this party had that others in the past had lacked was Sally Jackson. 

When Sally had invited him to the bonfire party he hadn’t really expected much. That second time he had seen her he had gotten the gist of what it would entail. But he was weak around her and couldn’t reject the opportunity to spend more time with her. When they arrived she introduced him to a couple of people as the mystery guy they had been hearing so much about. 

“So what’s your name mystery man?” Sally’s blonde friend asked while handing him a plastic cup that smelled a bit too strong to be simply a coke. He took a sip and tried not to grimace. Definitely too strong to be just a coke. 

“Does it really matter?” he asked. “It’s not like anyone here will be sober enough to remember it.” 

Sally gave him a look while the blonde girl blinked at him before letting out a laugh. Next to her, the boy with his hand around her waist was also laughing at his remark. 

“Oh man,” the boy smiled. “I understand why Sally likes you so much, you’re hot and snarky.”

“I’m not meaning to be snarky,” he replied. “I’m simply stating the truth.” 

He downed the rest of his cup while the blonde and boy laughed some more over his words. He couldn’t tell if they actually thought he was that funny or if they were just that intoxicated. Luckily, he didn’t have to ponder that thought for long, as Sally had grabbed his arm and was steering him towards the fire where the music was considerably louder. At some point during their short walk over there he had accumulated another drink courtesy of his escort who now also held a plastic cup of not-coke in her hand. 

“Come on Fish Boy,” she said while knocking back the rest of her drink before tossing it on the sand. “Dance with me.”

“I hope you plan on picking that up,” he answered as she put her arms around him. “Litter and pollution are some of my biggest problems right now and I would hate to be seen with someone who so carelessly disregards the environment.” 

“Don’t worry Poseidon, I’ll clean up all of my garbage if you do me the honor of dancing with me.” 

She smiled and began to move inviting him to place his hands upon her hips as she moved to rhythm. He hoped that the light of the fire and the alcohol made it so she wasn’t able to see him flush at the sound of her using his name. Taking a breath he quickly chugged the rest of his drink before tossing his own cup down on the ground. He placed his hands on her hips and guided her closer to him. He let out a laugh of his own as Sally took his hand and made him twirl her.

Day 36

Dionysus would definitely be laughing at him if he could see just how much a drunken fool he was in this moment. The party was technically still going on but somehow he had drunk enough to make himself tipsy, a goal not so easily obtained by a god. Sally was also slightly intoxicated but not so much that she needed to be carried back to the cabin she had rented out for the summer. Still, she didn’t hesitate to take him up on his offer of steadying her as he walked her home. 

“Such a gentleman you are,” she smirked when he had asked. 

She fumbled with her keys when they arrived but was able to unlock the door without any assistance. He tried not to let his curiosity shine as he took in the place that she had made her home for the past month. The kitchen was small and there was no table to eat at. There was however a small, dingy looking couch and television. Scattered around the kitchen counters and couch were a handful of books that he recalled Sally mentioning to him on a couple of occasions. 

“It’s not much,” she said. He noticed that she looked a little bit bashful as she noticed him taking in everything. “It’s all I have at the moment but I’ve done my best within the renting parameters.” 

“I think it’s perfect,” he said. He guessed it was the right thing to say because she quickly turned around and moved toward the kitchen, trying to hide her blush in the process. 

“Can I get you anything to drink? I’m not familiar with what gods need to do to sober up.”

“Some water would be nice,” he said. He moved on over to the kitchen. Sally didn’t seem to notice his change in location and so when she turned to walk back over to him she jumped, causing some of the water to spill out of the glass she had poured for him. 

“Crap, I’m so sorry,” she apologized. “I swear I didn’t mean to spill something on you.” 

He chuckled and took the glass from her hand, drinking the remaining water left in the cup. Without saying a word he lifted his free hand and ever so slightly summoned the spilled water back into the glass. He put the glass down on the counter and met her eyes which had finally started to look like what he was used to seeing out of mortals. 

“So,” she whispered. “You really are a god.”

“Did you not believe me?” he asked, his voice softer than it had been before. 

“I believed you,” she sighed. “But still…”

“Still?” he asked. 

“It’s still crazy,” she explained. “I mean, I go my whole life having all this weird stuff happening around me and then you show up and offer an explanation for it? What do you gain by doing that?”

He could hear the unspoken question in her words. Why are you here?

“I didn’t offer you an explanation to gain anything,” he said. “I offered you one because you deserved it.”

“Why are you still here then? I have my explanation, the gods are real. Monsters are real. They’re real and powerful and have been following me my entire life.”

“Do you want me to go?” he asked in a whisper. He could tell that she was getting frustrated and confused. He knew that performing parlor tricks with the water brought that out in mortals but he hadn’t been thinking. He was with her and he was slightly tipsy and it had been so long since he had allowed himself to feel this way about a mortal. A mortal that could see him clearer than anyone had ever been able to. But if she wanted him gone he could do that. He could leave for her. 

“I don’t know,” she confessed after a moment. “You’ll have to leave at some point right?”

“Yes,” he said. He would not sugar coat anything for her and she was correct in her assumption. He would have to leave at some point. 

“When?”

“I don’t know.” 

(And he didn’t.)

“But I can stay right now.” 

(And he could.)

She looked up at him and studied him for a while but he didn’t stop to question it. He could see her brows furrowing while trying to figure him out and process their entire fucked up situation. He was a god and she was a mortal. He would have to leave her and it would pain him to do so. He was not meant for the land and she was not meant for the sea. 

“Stay,” she whispered as her brows unfurrowed. 

He nodded his head before leaning downwards and pulling her face to his. He no longer cared about the agreement or the prophecy that threatened Olympus. All he cared about was how soft her lips felt against his and how perfectly she fit into his arms as he lifted her up.

Day 57

The sound of the rain softly hitting the roof of the cabin was muffled by the sound of her laughter. 

“You mean to tell me,” Sally laughed. “You mean to tell me that all these years you have lived you have never, not once, made pancakes?”

“I didn’t think it would be that hard!” he scoffed. 

“It’s not!” she exclaimed in between her giggles. “Only you could somehow find a way to make the simplest meals turn into rocket science.” 

“Well excuse me for trying to be romantic,” he huffed, now embarrassed by the situation. He turned away from her but felt her touch on his arm. 

“Hey,” she said. He turned to face her and her expression had gone from shifted from amusement to fondness. He felt that familiar sense of pride deep in his chest out of the satisfaction that he was the reason for those softened features. 

“Why don’t I teach you how to make some pancakes,” she offered. “That way the next time you want to be romantic you won’t ruin the kitchen that I’m renting.” 

She took his hand and led him into the kitchen so that they could clean up his mess together. All the while his mind kept whispering, “I love you. I love you. I love you.” 

Day 64

Nevermind a confession of love, this was the dangerous part. 

The way her body writhed underneath his and how her nails scratched down his back as he pushed into her. The sound of his name leaving her lips in-between the tiny moans and pants she let out as he did his best to pleasure her. 

“Fuck,” she moaned. 

And she was fucked. And so was he. The two of them were utterly and completely fucked because despite the pleasure and the want of being wrapped up in her, he knew that this was dangerous. He knew that if he truly loved and cared for her he would have left that night after the bonfire before they got past the point of no return. 

But as she called out his name again and he looked down and saw how utterly wrecked she looked because of what he was doing to her he was able to quell his worries. In front of him was a woman more beautiful than any mortal or god or nymph. Here in this old and used bed was a woman worthy of breaking an oath for. 

Day 75

“I have a wife,” he confesses one night, long after they had finished pleasuring each other. She was curled around him and running her fingers up and down his chest as he played with her hair. 

“Amphitrite, right?” she asked. 

“Yes,” he whispered. He was so afraid of her judgement but it did not come. Instead she shifted herself closer to him. 

“Do you love her?”

“I do,” he said. “But differently than how I love you.”

She hummed and nuzzled her face into his side. He knew that this was an invitation to continue on if he wanted to but knew she would not hold it against him if he failed to speak anymore on the matter. 

“She,” he began. “She’s like me. Immortal. She has been around long enough to see the world change and progress. She’s a constant reminder of my own godliness, a reminder that I have a role and duty to fulfill. Part of me is thankful for that, she grounds me in the godly world and is there when I need a reminder of what I am. Eons ago, when I was much younger and full of rage, she was the only one who would be able to calm me down to stop the ocean from spilling out.”

Sally was looking at him now, her head perched up and no longer half-asleep. He was so nervous telling her this but she made no protest at his admissions. 

“I think that when I leave she will be the only person able to quench the rage in me for not being able to stay with you,” he confessed. “I love you so much Sally and it’s going to hurt so much when it’s time for me to go but know that the type of love I have for my wife is a companionship. And that when the ocean rages and then calms it is her stopping me from putting you in any more danger.” 

“Does she know about me?” Sally asks after a long moment of silence. So long that he had begun to think she had fallen asleep. 

“I think she does. I think she suspects. And if she suspects then my brothers may start to suspect.” 

“What aren’t you telling me Poseidon?” she whispers. “Why is it so dangerous?”

And so he tells her about the prophecy and the measures that his brothers and the rest of the gods would go to in order to make sure that it doesn’t come to fruition. He tells her about the oath and the fact that he is the only one to have broken the oath which puts her in so much danger. No other mortal had been able to tempt them, only Sally Jackson. And that power is dangerous. 

Day 84

He can’t find it within himself to be upset when she tells him. He can’t find it in himself to be anything but absolutely ecstatic. He takes her into his arms and twirls her around on the shore and it’s so much like the start of their time together. The weather has gotten colder and Amphitrite has already confronted him about his time spent away from home. He knows what this means if she has had to step in. He knows that the others are conversing with her and that she has loyally covered for him despite being so undeserving of that loyalty. 

But when Sally tells him that she’s pregnant, her expression unreadable because of her own lingering fear of his reaction, he can’t help but to take her into his arms and kiss her. It’s only after seeing his own joy that she allows the smile he loves so much to unfurl and lets out a joyous laugh as he whispers how much he loves her into her ear. 

He ignores the slight rumble of thunder in the sky. 

When they get back to the cabin that night they celebrate by eating breakfast for dinner and having a contest to see who can create the most extravagant ice cream sundae. They kiss and have sex and tangle themselves up together in a way that they both have grown used to over the weeks spent like this together. He tells her stories of heroes and skillfully omits the unhappy endings from their stories. He knows that she is well-versed in myths and most likely knows the information he leaves out. He tells her that these demigods all received training and that they’re still able to.

“The camp protects them,” he whispers in her ear as they drift off to sleep. “It trains them and prepares them for the rest of their life.” 

Day 92

“You could come with me,” he offers. “I can build you a palace and we can raise our son together, away from the eyes of my brothers and away from the prophecy.”

They stand on the beach, his feet touching the water and hers touching the sand. The hippocampi had come to him that morning, delivering a message from Amphitrite. 

“Husband,” the note read. “Things are looking bad here. While I understand you have...business in the mortal realm that we can discuss later on, the kingdom grows suspicious of your lack of presence. Triton inquires about your whereabouts and he is not as understanding as I am. Please, I believe it would be in the best interest for everyone if you were able to wrap up your business and return home. Reinstate the fact that you're their king and prevent any more surprise visits from the other Olympians.”

He offered the note to Sally earlier but she shook her head and gave it back to him. She told him it wasn’t her place to read it and that she understood that it was time. 

“I prepared for this, remember?” she smiled. “When this started I knew you had to leave one day.”

“I knew that too,” he said. “But there’s still a way-,” 

“No Poseidon,” she said firmly. She offered no explanation but he understood. When this whole thing started between them he knew that she was never offering to follow him back to the sea. He was agreeing to stay as long as he could with her and when the time for him to leave came she would let him go. 

How is he supposed to do the same with her?

“Sally I love you so much,” he said. “And I love our child so much. Make sure they know that.”

He had told her that he probably wouldn’t be able to visit either of them. He saw the hurt in her eyes when he had told her but it had to be said, he would be honest with her one last time before leaving. 

She nodded her head and he cupped her face in his hands for one final time. He leaned down and kissed her softly on the forehead and pretended not to hear the shaky gasp she let out at the feeling of his lips on her skin. He wouldn’t indulge himself in her lips. He wouldn’t do that to them, when their parting was already so hard. 

He whispered one last declaration of love before separating himself from her and turning towards the sea. The waves crashed down roughly on the sand, betraying his outrage at the entire situation. But he knew that Amphitrite would be there to help him through this and knew that as long as he walked into the water both Sally and their child would be safe. And that was enough for him. 

[alirhi]

Posting for a friend

I will probably take this down later lol. I didn't write it to share - remember my post a few days ago about writing fanfiction as free therapy? That's what this was - but I sent a tiny chunk of this to a friend last night and she seemed to like it, so I figured I'd let her read the whole thing. (Friend shall remain nameless, in case she was just being polite ❤😂)

Anyway, here, if you're bored and feel like reading some awkward and weird Sebastian Stan fanfiction lmao... (and yes, I am aware that it's wildly unrealistic and 90% of what Seb says and does would never actually happen. if I'd been planning on sharing this when I wrote it, I would have put in more effort to make it less stupid XD)

She couldn't believe she was really doing this. What the hell was wrong with her? This was so not going to end well. Heart in her throat, she wandered this city she hated with a burning passion and kept a lookout for familiar landmarks. Stalking. This was officially stalking, and it was creepy and horrible. What the hell was wrong with her?!

There he was. She stopped dead in her tracks, stunned; she'd been trying to find his gym or something, the saner part of her hoping she'd find nothing and could walk away saying she'd tried. She never expected to see him walking down the street, coffee in hand. At least he didn't appear to be on the phone, or with anyone.

Tightening her grip on the object in her hands, she sucked in a deep breath and forced herself to approach him. "E-Excuse me? Mr. Stan?" He stopped, breathtaking blue eyes locked on her, and she flinched. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry to bother you, and I know this is crazy unprofessional. I'm not even in the film business in any way, I just... I'm doing a favor for my sister. She's in film school, to be a director, and she was too scared to approach you."

"You don't sound too thrilled about it, yourself."

His wry smile soothed her nerves ever so slightly and she let out a nervous giggle. "Big fan. Also a big fan of respect and boundaries, so I pretty much hate myself right now. Um. So..."

He nodded to the thing she was unconsciously crumpling in her hands. "That a script?"

"Uh-huh." Shaking violently now, she thrust it out at him and nearly wept when he took it. "I know it's beyond a pipe dream, I just... I promised her I'd try, and... Well, it'd mean the world to us both if you would even bother reading it. The super pipe dream is... is you starring in it. As Ben."

Still smiling awkwardly, Sebastian was flipping absently through the pages. "Contact info in here?"

She nodded. "Hers; it's on the inside of the front cover."

He handed it back, smile widening when she began to quietly panic. "Add yours. I want you to act as her agent; this took guts. I'll let you know what I think, okay?"

"For real?" Quickly scribbling her name and phone number under her sister's information, she stammered, "M-mulțumesc!" Then she caught herself and cringed. "I'm sorry. I probably mangled that, I-"

"You speak Romanian?!"

She stole a glance at his beautiful face and immediately melted at the puppy-dog excitement there. With another nervous laugh, she admitted, "No. I've been trying to learn it, but not much has sunk in yet."

Sebastian chuckled, taking the script back and glancing at the cover. "Well, then I appreciate the effort even more, Ali. Nice to meet you. I'll let you know, okay?"

"I'll only be eagerly staring at my phone like a crazy person."

They both laughed and Ali turned to walk away before she could humiliate herself any further - though, she didn't think there was a new low to reach after driving five hours to stalk a stranger - when Sebastian stopped her with a gentle, "Hey." When she turned back to face him, he smiled, expression somewhere between tender and sly. "Why did you do this? Aside from her being your sister, what's your connection to all this?"

"What, I can't just be a good sister?" She laughed at the look on his face and blushed. "I never do anything. Smart or dumb, safe or risky... I just... I do nothing. I work, and if I'm lucky, I sleep. I guess I just wanted to be able to say I did something, even if it was stupid and crazy and, let's face it, really creepy. And I really am sorry for stalking you and disrupting your day. Thank you for not immediately calling the cops."

"Don't be so hard on yourself." He held up the script, grinning at her. "What started out super creepy turned out to actually be kinda sweet. I hope your sister knows how much you love her."

"She knows how much I love you." She'd muttered it under her breath, or thought she had. Apparently Sebastian had bat ears, because he turned pink and laughed. "...Sorry."

He shook his head. "I love you, too. I love all my fans."

"Wonder boy, you are perfect." That got another laugh out of him, and knowing her luck would run out soon if she didn't quit while she was ahead, she waved, wished him well, and fled.

The fact that she'd just met Sebastian fucking Stan kept her buzzing like a bumblebee in a jar for for the rest of the day. She nearly exploded with joy when he called her the next morning.

She almost ignored it out of habit; she never answered the phone if she didn't recognize the number. Then, kicking herself for her absurd optimism, on the off chance that it was him, she answered.

"Hey, it's Sebastian." As if she didn't know his voice! Her heart stopped, lodged itself in her throat again, and she just barely managed to choke out an awkward grunt by way of greeting. "So, I just finished the script, and I was wondering if you'd be willing to meet up for lunch to discuss it?"

Holy. Shit. She cleared her throat, but it didn't help much. "Uh... when?"

"Does around one or two work?"

"Today?!" Her eyes bugged, and then she realized she'd never told him where she was from and she laughed. "Um. It might have to be a bit later than that. I'm in Massachusetts."

"You drop off work for me and then just take off?" His tone was obviously teasing, and she smiled. "What the hell is that about? You're a crap agent!"

"I live in Massachusetts, dude! I had to go home and feed my cats."

He went from teasing to stunned in a heartbeat. "You mean you drove all the way down to New York to spend five minutes talking to me, and then drove all the way back?"

"Yep. I did mention that I'm a crazy person."

"Apparently!" He chuckled, and the sound warmed her heart. "It seems cruel to make you drive all the way back down here again when you just got home."

"I don't mind," she was quick to assure him. "I just need a little more time to get there, is all. It's a five-hour drive, not..." She glanced at the clock; it was eleven. "...Two."

"Alright, dinner then!" He still sounded somewhat dubious, but they made plans to meet up for dinner around six to give her some extra time in case of traffic, and hung up. Then Ali entered Panic Mode as she scrambled around the room trying to make herself presentable in a hurry.

It took until she was pulling onto the final road for her to realize the address Sebastian had texted to her wasn't in NYC; it wasn't even in New York. He was meeting her at a restaurant in CT. She'd been so distracted by the 'oh holy shit' of it all that she hadn't been paying much attention when she copied it into her phone's GPS.

"I figured you might be more comfortable out here," he explained with a smile when he showed up shortly after she did. When she reached out to shake his hand, he took hers and leaned down, kissing her cheek. "You don't strike me as the big city type."

"Not at all," she agreed with a laugh, trying not to blush as they settled in their seats. The script - now curled and spiked with little tabs and scraps of paper - sat on the table by his hand. Fighting the urge to sink into herself, she forced herself to ask, "So what did you think? Looks like you have some notes."

Sebastian smiled somewhat bashfully. "Oh, no. Well... kind of. My first run through, I marked scenes and lines that stood out to me, so I could pay extra attention when I went back over it. The 'notes' are mostly just my dorky comments."

"...Like...?"

His shy smile turned into a playful grin. "Let's order first. I'm starving!"

She absolutely hated eating in front of people, hot guys especially, but she didn't want to be weird and just watch him eat while she sipped water or something, either. Desperately praying that they'd both be too distracted by talking about work for her to be self-conscious, she scanned the menu for something cheap and simple.

"When's the last time you actually went on a date?" When her head snapped up and she gaped at him, Sebastian laughed. "I'm not saying that's what this is. I'd have been very clear and up front about it if I was asking you out. I just mean, you somehow look even more uncomfortable than you did yesterday, and you're looking at the prices before you even look at what the food actually is. I just figured you're not used to being treated to dinner."

"You never said you were treating," she pointed out with an awkward giggle. "I'm poor, and so is everyone I know. I always look at the prices first." Under no circumstances would she tell this man that she hadn't been on a "proper" date... ever, really.

"I don't even want to think about how much gas you burned through, driving down to New York and back in one day, and then coming down to Connecticut today." He laughed and shrugged. "I figured paying for dinner was the least I could do."

The least you could do? she thought, a little dismayed. Not having your stalker arrested or slapped with a restraining order is already more than most would do!

"Did I lose you somewhere?"

Jolted out of her thoughts, Ali blushed. "No, sorry. I just..." She stared at him, lost in those big blue eyes she loved so much. "You're not fake. Not that I thought you were! I just mean... Gods, you really are just the nicest guy in the world!"

Sebastian laughed. "For buying you food?"

"For giving a shit. You don't know me; I did something unforgivably creepy and invasive yesterday, and I feel like most people would be running full-tilt the other way, but here you are, actually sitting down and talking to me."

"If I can't handle being stopped on the street now and then, I'm in the wrong line of work."

Okay, she had to give him that one; but still... "If you love what you do, you're never in the wrong line of work. I don't believe for a second that you 'signed up' to have your time off disrupted by strangers, or to be constantly surrounded by people all demanding things from you."

With a grin, he teased, "Maybe that's why I want to give you a chance. You didn't demand; you asked, very nicely, and apologized for turning up out of the blue. And you're forgiven, by the way, so can we put that to rest?"

Ali blushed again, staring down at the table. "...Yeah. Of course. Um... Thank you."

"Ali, I like that you're honest; that you know when you've fucked up, you own up to it, and you apologize. That's... that's a good quality. And as for this fuck up..." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him lift the somewhat mangled script and risked a glance up at him. He was grinning. "You've got my attention. The question is, what are you going to do with it?"

Down to business, then. Bracing herself against her own anxiety, she sat back and looked him right in the eye. "That depends largely on you. It's basically a student film written to be a full-length movie. Amelia's still in school; I don't know if she's even been taught how to secure funding yet, and networking isn't her strongest skill. That's why she sent the script to me to try to get things in motion. Believe it or not, my anxious, neurotic ass is the one better with people, at least in a professional capacity."

Sebastian stared at her, wide-eyed. "...Wow. You're...eloquent. Where the hell did this come from?"

Snorting, she flashed him a quick smile. "You got me through the 'oh god I'm such a pest' meltdown. Now it's work time. I've got a fair bit of attachment to this project; her screenplay was based on a comment I made and a few lines of dialogue I sent her-"

"So this was your idea?"

"Both of ours." Ali had no interest in being a screenwriter, so while her ego wanted credit for her contribution, she downplayed it, instead. "Anyway, I'm invested, and not just because I want to support my sister. The thing is, I may be better with people, but I'm nobody; I know nothing about this industry." With a wry smirk, she added, "Except just enough to know that I'm doing this whole thing ass-backwards, but whatever. Now, what did you think of it? Plot, characters, whatever comes to mind."

"The first thing that caught my eye was this little list in the beginning." He flipped the cover open, pointing to where the 'dream cast' the girls had discussed was listed and grinned while Ali blushed all over again. "I've never worked with Avan Jogia, but I wouldn't mind making out with him. His lips look really soft."

She wanted to crack up at that, but settled for a muffled snort, instead. "They do, don't they?"

"So, have you spoken-" He stopped when she shook her head, and he gave her a patient smile. "This is it for progress so far, isn't it? Just having the script at all, and talking to me."

"Which is more than I honestly expected," she admitted with a nod. "I mean, I have faith that if it can somehow get made, it'll be amazing, but right now that's all we've got, is faith."

The grin was back, even as Sebastian dropped his gaze back to the screenplay in his hands. "Faith and a very funny script so full of fandom nods it would never work without exactly who you want in each role."

"...You noticed that, huh?"

It was his turn to snort with amusement. "Kinda hard not to. You dressed Ben as army-Bucky. If we do this wrong, Marvel might sue."

"We?"

The 'duh' look he gave her made her laugh. "What? You thought I dragged you all the way down here to tell you I'm not interested? The Halloween party alone had me laughing until I cried." With another glance at the page, he added, "It helps that I know most of these guys. If you can get me a digital copy of this, I can send it along and see how many of them I can prod into helping. Hopefully my manager can reach out to Avan and Elliot. I can probably get hold of Mark on instagram..."

"That would be amazing." She couldn't believe how well this was going. The more they talked, the more clear it became that Sebastian was really into it, and his excitement made her giddy. They talked for hours; Ali was so distracted by the deep dive they took into the characters and the story that not only did she forget to be self-conscious about eating, but she even forgot to spazz internally about the fact that she was talking to her hero and biggest celebrity crush.

The restaurant had a bar attached, so it was open pretty late. By the time they realized how long they'd been sitting there, it was midnight.

"You are not driving four hours alone, not right now," he insisted as he walked her to her car. "Let me at least get you a room in the city."

Ali smiled, touched by his concern. "I'm fine, I promise. If I get too tired, I can always pull over and take a nap in my car."

"It is insane to me that you're so casual about driving, like, what? Three, four states over? Just to sit here with me for a couple of hours."

"Do you not know who you are?" she half-joked, laughing. "And for the record, I don't give a flying fuck that you're famous. I care that you're kind; you're warm and open and patient in a world that works so hard to crush all of those qualities. You're a hero to me, not because of the spotlight, but because of who you continue to be in spite of it." He looked like he was getting a little misty-eyed and flustered, so to lighten the mood, she added, "When Sebastian fucking Stan invites you to dinner, distance be damned! You go to dinner!"

He still turned adorably red, but he laughed, so she considered that mission accomplished. "At least call me when you get in so I know you're safe?"

"It'll be like four in the morning," she pointed out gently, "and that's if I don't stop for a nap."

"I'll be up, trust me." At her dubious look, he crossed his arms and playfully stared her down. "In about two seconds I'm just gonna take you home with me so I know you won't die on the road."

"I wouldn't say 'no' to that!" The second the words were out of her mouth, she cringed so hard she had to squeeze her eyes shut. Sebastian was laughing again, so that was a small comfort.

"Oh, is that what you've been angling for this whole time?"

She could tell from his tone that he was just kidding, but she was still quick to tell him 'no.' Then her mouth and her weird sense of humor got away from her again. "I mean, you're gorgeous and I want your babies, but that's beside the point."

"Oh god!" He was cracking up now, and she couldn't even tell if he was genuinely amused, or just really uncomfortable.

"Jesus, I really have to get away from you, right now!" Shaking her head, she started digging through her bag for her keys. "We're done with work, which means Fangirl Mode has reactivated, and that's good for no one!"

"No, I think you need to stick around." He smiled softly when she glanced up at him, eyes seeming to see right through her. "You're really always honest, even if the truth humiliates you beyond bearing. That's incredible. Are you just incapable of lying? Did a little kid make a birthday wish about you or something?"

Oh gods, she'd almost forgotten he was a huge Jim Carrey fan. "If they did, it was for a lot longer than a day!" His intense, if oddly tender, scrutiny was starting to make her feel things best left buried and she hastily looked away. "Could you please stop looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

Tears stinging her eyes, she glanced into his and then quickly away again. "Like I've got a chance. I know that's not-"

He cut her off with a soft kiss, shocking her into silence, and then gave her the saddest little smile she'd ever seen. "Why wouldn't you?"

"Don't do this to me." She shook her head, feeling as though she was shrinking in on herself. "I can't be the thing that fucks this whole thing up for my sister when it all goes to shit between us. I can't!"

"That's a rather bleak outlook on the entire situation. I don't know whether to be more offended by your lack of faith in my ability to be professional, or the fact that we're not even together and you're already seeing a breakup."

"I'm a lot to handle," she pointed out with a pathetic attempt at a smirk. "An unmedicated mess. Nobody likes me for long."

Sebastian scowled, reaching up to wipe her tears off her cheeks. "Least of all you, it sounds like."

"Sebastian, you don't understand." Though all she wanted was to fall into his arms and never move again, she broke away and backed up a few steps. "I have been shit to her, and this movie means too much to me and her career means too much to her, and I can't keep ruining everything for us both!"

"You don't do anything." He grabbed her by her upper arms to hold her in place and keep her from moving any farther away from him. "You told me yesterday that you never do anything. Ali... Ali!" When she wouldn't look at him, he shook her; lightly, but enough to startle her into looking him in the eye. "Do something."

She shook her head, closing her eyes as if that would help; as if his beautiful face wasn't already burned forever in her mind. "I can't. I can't. I know too much about you, it's creepy!"

"Okay, let's make it fair, then." She could actually hear his grin. "Tell me the creepiest thing you know about me, and then match it with something about you."

Ali couldn't help laughing at that. "Actually, the creepiest fact for me to know actually came to me in the least creepy way." Involuntarily, she glanced at his crotch, and then quickly back up just in time to see him blush.

"You've seen Monday."

"And everyone who has knows you're not circumcised," she pointed out with a mostly awkward laugh. "Which honestly didn't surprise me, seeing as how you're from Europe and aren't Jewish, so why would you be? ...I don't really know how to 'match' that one."

"If we weren't standing out in a parking lot I could be a total asshole and say you can strip down and let me see you naked." He laughed when she turned bright red and swatted his chest. "But that seems like a bit much. Um... well, that's sort of a body modification, right? So do you have any risque piercings or tattoos?"

She shook her head, giggling. "No. No tattoos at all yet, and the only piercings so far are my ears. There's a bunch that I want, but I haven't gotten around to it."

"You know what? Gimme your phone." He grinned when she handed it right over, clearly not realizing that it was confusion that prompted the move, more than trust. A few seconds later, her GPS was talking as he handed it back. "I'll meet you there."

"Please tell me you're not-" She glanced down and cringed. "You are. You're making me drive in New York City."

"You could always just ride with me and I can bring you back in the morning for your car."

"Oh hell no! I'll meet you there! ...Wherever 'there' is."

'There' turned out to be a rather classy-looking brick apartment building in Manhattan. Unable to process what that likely meant - there was no way! - Ali squashed the thought down and ignored it, simply focusing on finding a place to park. That alone was a Herculean task.

"I can't believe you made me drive a RAV4 through New York!" she playfully snapped as she got out and approached his little sports car.

Sebastian laughed. "I can't believe you drive a RAV4! You're so tiny!"

"I'm only four inches shorter than you, Tank."

"I'm not a tank..." He glanced down at himself, looking adorably confused. "Am I a tank? I kind of was for Civil War, but that was years ago."

"Mmm..." Feeling bold, she draped her arms over his shoulders, smiling when his hands moved automatically to her waist. "You're lean, but you still look like you could bench me with one hand. I don't like the big, veiny Dwayne Johnson types, anyway. Don't get so bogged down in what Hollywood wants you to be; you're perfect, Sebastian."

"Wow." He grinned, pulling her closer. "You're good for my ego!" With a playful nip to her neck, he started backing her toward the door. "Yep. Definitely sleeping with you. Come on."

Ali laughed as he finally released her waist and took her hand instead, and she followed him inside. "Do I get a say in this, Casanova?"

"I said I was gonna sleep with you," he mock-growled, face buried against her neck again, "not rape you. Get in here."

She giggled when, apparently deciding she was moving too slowly, he yanked her inside and into his arms, kicking the door shut behind her. "Sebastian... Sebastian!" All she wanted was to let him keep being silly and flirty, but she couldn't shake the feeling that they were about to make a mistake. "You are incredibly charming. You are. And my god I want you so bad it hurts!"

"Then what's the problem?"

"The problem..." She framed his face with her hands, letting him kiss her before pushing him back. "The problem is that I'm your fan, and I hunted you down like a crazy person-"

"And I forgave you for that."

"That's sweet, and I appreciate that. And that's not the point. The point is, I did that to work with you."

"No," he pointed out with a smirk, "you did that to get me to work with your sister. I made you stay stuck in the middle because you're really pretty and I'm really lonely and you kinda seem somehow even lonelier than me."

"You're not wrong..."

"Ali, listen. Relax." Mirroring her pose in a weird way, he framed her face with his hands and smiled when she turned her head to kiss his palm without thinking. "Whatever happens, it's not gonna happen tonight. It never was; I was just being goofy. It's late and I'm old; I'm tired."

"You're not old-"

He kissed her quiet. "I'm too old to be fucking a twenty-year-old at one in the morning. I brought you here because we were spending an awkwardly long time in that parking lot, and-what?" He grinned, watching her lose her shit, and she pressed her face against his chest. "Why are you laughing?"

"I love you!" She hugged him, still giggling helplessly. "You really think I'm only twenty?"

"Around there, yeah. Why?"

"Dude, I'm thirty-four!"

"No way." He gaped at her and then grinned, shaking his head. "No way!"

Still giggling helplessly, she nodded. "We're only five years apart, man."

"Got a painting in your attic I should know about?"

"No!" Oh god she couldn't breathe! "Just good genes. And I don't drink or smoke."

"Wow. Wow!" Sebastian laughed, pulling her down with him as he sat on the couch. "I feel so called out right now!"

"Not my intent, Smoogie-OHMYGOD!" She'd been about to cuddle him but the second she realized what she'd said, she launched herself off his lap, red-faced and laughing hysterically.

"What? What was that?" Laughing almost as hard as she was, Sebastian yanked her back down onto the couch. "What did you just call me?" Pinning her in place, he tickled her mercilessly as she screeched and howled with laughter.

"I'm sorry! It slipped!"

"What the hell is a Smoogie?!"

"Nothing!" He finally let up, and she gasped and wheezed, gulping in lungfuls of air like he'd been strangling her. "It... It literally has no meaning," she rasped. "It's just a random made-up word I used once out of nowhere and I guess it kinda stuck in my brain."

Sebastian snorted and helped her sit up. "Like 'winter's children.' Alright, the brain is a weird, weird place. I get that." With a grin, he nudged her and added, "Smoogie."

"Nooo!" Giggling, Ali pushed him back. "You're Smoogie! Come up with your own dumbass nickname." Eyes wide as she thought back to some of the weird shit that she'd heard come out of his mouth in the past, she hastily amended, "Better yet, don't."

"Oh, no." He hugged her tight. "No, no, no. Challenge fucking accepted! I'm gonna give you the single most embarrassing nickname you've ever heard of!"

She groaned, but it quickly turned into laughter. "At least fuck me first, so when I die of embarrassment, I can die somewhat happy!"

"Oh, so now you want it?"

They grinned at each other right before Ali hid her face against his chest. "I always did, I just don't think it'd be smart."

"Tell you what..." He pushed her back a bit, just enough to duck his head and kiss her. "Let's get some sleep, and see how things stand in the morning. That'll also give you time to think about this:" Those warm, soft hands were back on her jaw and she found herself lost in his gorgeous blue eyes. "My interest in that script has nothing to do with my interest in you. Your sister wrote a funny movie, and had it come to me through my manager, I'd still want in. You are beautiful and vibrant and honest, and my god, I'm into you! Completely separate things, and neither has any influence over the other."

"Promise?" Tears blurred her vision, but not enough to hide his soft smile from her. "I mean-"

He kissed her quiet and stood, pulling her with him. "Come to bed. We can talk about it in the morning. I just... I know I shouldn't be this overprotective of a total stranger, but I couldn't deal with the thought of you possibly crashing and dying on the way home tonight. I don't like people driving tired."

"You're so sweet it hurts." She grinned, but it quickly faded as it registered that he was pulling her into his bedroom, and she planted her feet. "I can just crash on the couch."

"What? Don't trust me to be a gentleman?"

It was obvious that he was just teasing her, but she still was quick to assure him, "No, I trust you. I just..." She sighed. "Oh, to hell with it. It's not like there's anywhere to go but up after literal stalking. I don't want to be a one-night-stand or fuck buddies or whatever. I don't want 'something casual'. Maybe some women are fine with just, like, the bragging rights of fucking a celebrity or something, but that's not me. I don't give a rat's ass that you're famous; I really don't."

"Yeah, you said that earlier. So what do you want?" He gave her a wry, tired smile. "And why can't it wait until after sleep?"

"I'm sorry!" Despite her rather bleak mood, Ali giggled a little before hastily getting to the point: "I want to be your girlfriend, but for many reasons, I'm not optimistic about the chances of that happening. And falling asleep in your arms, or even in your bed at all, is just..."

"Ah." With a nod, Sebastian released her hand and stepped back. "I'll get you a blanket."

She couldn't help it; when he came back and tossed a blanket on the end of the couch, she grinned and said, "Anthony's gonna be so jealous."

"Anthony Mackie has never been in my house!" They both laughed, and then Sebastian gave her a sweet kiss on the forehead before disappearing into his bedroom with a soft, "Goodnight, Ali."

"Night, Seb."

The couch was surprisingly comfortable, but Ali still couldn't sleep. On top of the discomfort of being in someone else's home for the first time, she was too busy spiraling over what a fucking idiot she was. If she didn't stop getting in her own way, she was going to end up pushing Sebastian away completely; something told her she didn't have long before he'd get sick of her constantly grasping for excuses to keep some professional distance between them. Would her desperate desire to not ruin things by sleeping with him end up ruining things by annoying the hell out of him?

Eventually she passed out from sheer exhaustion near dawn, and woke sometime later to the soft murmur of a familiar voice. At first she thought she'd left a video going on her laptop or something, but then as she sucked in a deep breath and stretched, the previous night floated back to her along with a lungful of Sebastian's scent and the weird realization that she actually knew what he smelled like now.

As awareness reluctantly returned to her, she realized Sebastian was on the phone in the other room and, blessing the natural softness of his voice, did her best to tune him out. Not her business. Instead she sat up and started playing with her phone, checking messages and jumping into another youtube rabbit hole.

"You know, I'm right here." Startled by the very amused voice right behind her, she whirled around and answered his grin with one of her own. "You don't have to look me up on the internet."

"You were on the phone," she pointed out, even as she dropped hers into her purse, "and you're funny as hell on press tours."

"I was on the phone with your sister." He sank down onto the couch beside her, and without thinking she snuggled up against his side, smiling when his arm dropped over her shoulders. "It took me thirty minutes to convince her I'm really me and it wasn't a prank. Not a very trusting woman, that one."

Ali laughed. "Did she spend the next thirty minutes after that hyperventilating?"

"No, she held it together pretty well after that. Very giggly, but we managed to say what needed to be said." She felt him shift and glanced up to see him staring down at her. "You didn't tell me she was in Florida."

"...Oops." She flashed him a sheepish smile. "Sorry."

"It's fine; doesn't really change things, it was just a surprise. Now..." He shifted, and she took her cue to scoot back a bit so they could look at each other more easily. "Shall we be grownups and talk about last night?"

About half a dozen childish jokes were on the tip of her tongue, but she pushed them all down with a deep sigh and nodded. "I suppose we should."

"Tell me why you think you have no chance." He crossed his arms, staring her down and making her feel about two inches tall. "I don't want to get fifteen minutes into a conversation and feel like you're just grasping at straws to drive me insane. Get it all out."

"Jeez, no pressure or anything," she grumbled, pulling her knees up to her chest. "I don't have a neat, itemized list of everything that's wrong with me. That's not how my brain works. If I miss or forget something and think of it later, and you're just gonna make me feel like a bug for opening my mouth, why don't I just leave now and save us both the headache?"

"I can't tell if you're being frustrating on purpose for some reason, or if you're just the single most insecure person to ever walk the planet."

Oh, so many snarky comebacks were bouncing around in her head, but once again she squashed the impulse to be childish and just shook her head. "I'm sorry. Neither, really, I just... I have this really annoying habit of pushing people away so I'm never vulnerable and I can never get hurt."

"How's that working out for you?"

Ass. She looked away, crossing her arms over her knees and resting her head on them. "We've all got damage. Sue me."

"You're never going to find someone who'll put in the work to fix you. You gotta do that yourself. If you keep pushing people away hoping one will try to take a jackhammer to all these walls you put up, you'll just be constantly disappointed."

"What are you, my shrink now?" She jerked her head up to glare at him, but the intense look on his face stopped her cold.

With a look that reminded her quite a bit of the Winter Soldier, Sebastian demanded quietly, "What do you want, Ali?"

"...I don't know." She looked away again, hiding behind the curtain of her long copper-red hair. "You don't even know how terrifying that is. I always knew! I knew who I was, who and what I wanted to be... Now, I just... I have no idea."

"You should try acting." His tone was only half joking but she still snorted. "What? You get to try on different lives, and maybe you'll find one that suits you. Who knows?" He nudged her, making her smile a little. "Maybe you'll find that you love the work, and it's your new calling. Whaddaya got to lose?"

"People don't start acting in their thirties."

"Well, that's utter bullshit." She glanced up just in time to see his cheeky grin. "And you don't look anywhere near thirty, so I say cash in on that while you can. But! I wasn't actually asking the deep life question when I asked what you want."

"I know," she admitted with a sheepish shrug. "I got sidetracked by existential dread. Sorry."

"Happens to the best of us."

Ali grinned, shaking her head, but her amusement didn't last long. With a sigh, she told him, "The sad fact is, I don't know. I don't know if I want a relationship, or if I just don't want to feel like a whore. The juvenile fangirl in me wants to make you happy; to be in your life no matter what form that connection takes. And I'm lonely and antsy, and definitely attracted to you..."

"This all sounds like a good start," he said with a soft laugh. "And it doesn't sound juvenile to me; it's sweet."

"There is one thing I do know that I want." Hoo boy, this was not going to end well. Damn her psychotic obsession with honesty! "One thought-one desire, I guess - that haunts me." She was afraid to look at him, but she needed to see his reaction. Steeling herself against her own anxiety, she looked him right in the eye and confessed, "More than anything in the world right now, I want to be a mother. It's freaking me out, because I never wanted kids until very recently, but for the last couple of years it's been practically consuming me."

He was analyzing her again; if it was anyone else, it would have pissed her off royally, but all she could think of was 'bionic staring machine' and she had to fight not to laugh. "I wonder why that is."

"Oh, I know exactly why." She finally gave in and snickered a little. "But if I tell you, you're gonna think I'm insane."

"I already know you're insane," he teased, "so just tell me anyway."

"I'm a witch," she told him point-blank. "I sometimes get little glimpses of possible futures. I've seen my future daughters, and they've become so real to me, so vibrant and full of life, that I'm desperate to meet them for real."

Sebastian smiled faintly. "What if you end up having a boy?"

"I've seen that possibility, too," she conceded with a laugh. "He's adorable. These kids... Sebastian, I've seen their faces. I know their names. And every day that goes by that they don't exist is more painful for me than the last. And that's... That's a huge part of why I didn't - still don't - think it would be a good idea to sleep with you. Why I'd feel like a trashy whore if I did."

He slowly nodded, understanding visibly dawning in his eyes. "Because you want too badly to get pregnant. More than you want to be with me; with anyone."

"Yeah. And I have yet to think of a way to go about that without being just... so creepy, or straight-up evil."

"...This." At her look of surprise and confusion, he made a little nod/shrug gesture she couldn't quite describe. "This is the way to not be creepy or evil - being honest, up front. Talking it out. You may not necessarily get what you want, but if you do, this is absolutely the way to do it respectfully."

She smiled and nodded. "Good point."

He ruffled her hair, making her smile again. "You've got a lot going on in that head of yours. Must be exhausting."

"It can be."

"You're an absolute mess, no doubt about that." He nudged her with that boyish, playful grin she loved so much. "But I still like you. Start as friends, see how it goes?"

Heart swelling, she nodded. "I'd love that."

There was a moment of weirdly charged silence, and then Ali blurted, "I do have one question I've been dying to ask you for months, though."

"Oh god." He laughed. "Should I be scared?"

"Maybe," she conceded with a giggle. "I won't be offended or even surprised if you refuse to answer, let me just lead with that. It's personal, I'm just curious."

"Okay, so it's not a request, per se."

She laughed again, shaking her head. "No, not a request. I was just wondering, after seeing Monday-"

"Oh no!" Cracking up, Sebastian backed away. "Any 'personal' question that starts with a reference to Monday can't be good!"

"And the set shots for Pam and Tommy!" She had a feeling she was going to have trouble breathing around this man a lot. He always had her cracking up. "You had so little body hair, but I know it grows! I've seen you with hair on your chest - which was unbelievably sexy, by the way - so, like... is that just a thing you do in recent years? Do you always get that in-depth with your grooming, or is it just when you know you'll be showing a lot of skin in public?"

"Obviously it's just when I know someone's gonna see!" He laughed, shaking his head. "I mean, do you shave your legs when you're not gonna show them off?"

"Yes." Grinning at his look of surprise, she shrugged. "My skin is so stupidly sensitive that body hair makes me unbearably itchy, all the time. I eradicate that shit constantly."

"Oh, okay." He nodded a little. "So for you, it's not an aesthetic choice, it's for a good reason and really is just for yourself. That makes sense." It was his turn to shrug and grin. "I'm just shallow. If I'm gonna be naked on screen, I wanna look good."

"You're gorgeous, you're allowed to be shallow."

"Is that how that works?" They both laughed, and much to Ali's immediate, overwhelming joy, Sebastian tugged her against his side and squeezed in a sort of half-hug. "That seems like an unfair standard. And I'm not sure I still fit that bill at my age."

"Oh, stop!" She swatted his chest, even as she rested her head on his shoulder and cuddled closer.

"By the way..." He kissed her temple, lips still pressed against her flesh as he murmured, "I know you wrote that script."

Flinching, she tried to move away from him; she only wanted to be able to look at him, but he seemed to misinterpret and held her tight against his side.

"Your sister confirmed it, but I figured it out last night. You know way too much about this story and the characters to just be a messenger." She felt him smile as he kissed her head again, and couldn't help smiling with him. "You're brilliant. I hope little sis is half as good a director as you are a writer."

"...Thank you." What the hell else could she say to that? All she could really think about, folded in his arms and feeling so warm and safe, was that he was already an amazing friend. She'd known for a while that he approached friendship in a way more typical to women, with the cuddling and constant complimenting; the sort of wholesome, deep love-without-romance that was exactly how she was as a friend. It was amazing to be on the receiving end of that, and while her hormones would probably always scream to jump his bones, she hoped things stayed exactly as they were between them.

[annieoftheshitposts]

this post used to be a link to the old canons page but i’m turning it into a text dump of the revised one for people on mobile [or who have bad wifi/computers that the fancy schmancy script on the canons page wouldn’t play well with.] theres a lot sorry not sorry. here we go.

Canon Info

 Much more is said about Annie in external sources than the game itself, here's copypastes of all I know of and go by.

From the 3rd DLC Character Voting page:

As popular figures in nationwide folktales, a children’s television adaptation of Annie and Sagan’s adventures was inevitable. The show’s success lies in its pair of live action hosts, who are as convincing as their cartoon counterparts. Though what the public learns about the real Annie might surprise them. Annie is a seasoned fighter who has been around for a long time, acquiring many skills and powers along the way. Her sword is forged from a meteorite and can channel the power of the stars in its sweeping cleaves. Her right eye bonds her to her Remote Parasite and partner, Sagan, who grants her powers of a galactic motif. While some of her abilities carry more of a sparkly magical girl motif, Annie tries to execute them with the same sternness.

From "The canon info thread" on Skullheart Encore forums:

-Annie is several-century-old. Her immortality was gained when her parents wished on the Skull Heart so that Annie would never have to experience the hardship of adulthood, thereby making her forever a child. -She has had many different weapons and abilities throughout her life. - Sagan, her remote parasite. keeps her right eye in his mouth. - She’s physically not able to swear due to her condition - She is familiar with Double due to her experience fighting Skullgirls - Annie has encountered a lot of Skullgirls and has killed a lot, but not the same a lot. She’s seen the cycle multiple times and seen how they become stronger each time and is looking for the underlying source now. - The Annie of the Stars show is very similar to the Super Mario Bros. Super Show with live action segments with cartoons and PSAs and commercials in between. - Sagan can talk. Somehow. - Annie hides her immortality by getting a new hairstyle every few years. The show tells the audience that they have simply changed the actress. Eliza also pulls a similar trick

and finally some other misc. scraps that weren't covered above:

-annie has some kind of "super" or "powered up" form, in which she seems to fuse with sagan. it can be seen on her

move concept sheet, in the end of robo-fortune's story mode, and as a very tiny feature on one of robo-fortune's merch posters, but to my knowlege it's never really been talked about.

-she's been depicted with an "incognito outfit", presumably for going out in public and not being recognized by fans.

-sagan is named after renowned astrophysicist carl sagan. this isnt really relevant to anything but it's not on the wiki so i figured i'd share :b

-and this random pic of annie in the past with a different look, plus gun and minus eyepatch, apparently official art from the "digital art compendium". i haven't seen the source for this one myself though, and count this one more as speculative canon since that ingame image up there with her eye uncovered doesn't show a scar or any kind of damage from this.

-another canon fact about annie is she is strong and brave and i love her.

Headcanon (Annie)

this is pretty disorganized bc i come up with and revise random shit on a fairly regular basis, but the very least it should be all here and up-to-date. [though on this text post version i may forget to keep it updated oops.

she can still only normally see from the one eye in her head [and likewise probably has terrible depth perception lmao], but she can “project” her vision into the one sagan has if need be, during which time both he and her main eye are blind.

even though sagan’s vision is his own and she doesn’t actively “see” through that eye most of the time, the stuff he sees still becomes part of her memory and she can recall it if need be, though it’s far less tangible and kind of a surreal experience trying to do so.

the space where her other eye was is now just...space. like empty starry void stuff. yes, TECHNICALLY, you could put stuff in it but why would you. sagan can feel when something interacts with it and it’s really just weird and uncomfortable for both of them.as sagan is the source of their powers, the strength of her abilities is slightly dependent on her distance from him. something like long sustained flight is really only capable if they’re touching, but she still has ample firepower and ability to zip around for a pretty good range otherwise.

Not interested in anime

absolutely hates being called her full name; hasn't gone by anything other than "Annie" for longer than anyone that should be alive today should know.

part of her curse of eternal youth is remembering everything up until the point it kicked in and she stopped aging [i.e. when she was Actually a kid] exactly as well as if she hadn’t aged.

from that point however, a lot of it is hazy as shit aside from more recent times [as you’d expect from someone who’s been around hundreds of years]. this one's gonna be angsty as shit when i address it and you can thank @sandstriker for that. fucker.

also hates being restrained. by the concept sheet and beo's story, her fighting style is very kinetic and relies heavily on mobility; take that away and you get one very uncomfortable and very angry starchild. [this one's 'cause of y'all with the handcuffs asks. this is part of why she's so agitated rn.]

what's in the pouch? whatever is alternatively convenient. is it snacks? is it a quick incognito disguise? is it her whole entire sword? who knows. i think it might be infinite hammerspace in there.

i haven't put much though into this side of her story yet, but i've decided part of the mythos of the "annie of the stars" character as a figure of legend is that she literally lives, among the stars.

if there's enough folktales about her to base an entire show off of, i'm willing to bet she used to be less elusive when she was just about fighting skullgirls before dedicating herself to the whole "looking for the underlying source" thing.

Headcanon (Sagan)

tl;dr: as far as things go here, he's essentially a cat and/or younger sibling.

Sagan's canon information and characterization is basically nonexistant, so i got to do pretty much whatever i wanted with him lmao.

simply put, he's a little gremlin of a partner, but he is genuinely good-natured and a happy-go-luckly little dude. mischevious, loves to get up to Shenanigans, go off and hide/disappear to fuck knows where for several hours, climb and sit on tall things[or failing that, annie's head], etc. @sawkinator has described him, regrettably accurately, as "the Token Disney Animal Sidekick". he has a lot of mannerisms like an animal, but is still very much a being of at least average human intelligence. he's also surprisingly indestructible. far from invincible of course, but in canon he's been shown to be quite stretchy and...possibly have minor shapeshifting capabilities?? he's pretty much immune to being squashed and feels very little [if any] pain from most things. really, as far as i can tell he's pretty much a weird sentient plushie. like, if it's not going to damage a plushie, it's not going to hurt him; examples being: getting knocked back really hard or falling a long way? not a problem. fire? problem.

Sagan tends to be somewhat nonverbal and generally only uses a few words or short phrase at a time when he does speak, which sounds something like the voice clip below. that being how it is, he can be kind of inscrutable and more than a bit jarring to most people--though at this point annie's been with him more than long enough to be completely desensitized to it and doesnt quite get why anyone would be perturbed. fortunately, with that familiarity also comes understanding, and she can easily "translate" and articulate more from his expressions. this understanding is a two-way street, and on its other side is sagan's sensitivity to her moods. annie's not particularly...communicative of her emotions, but sagan can always tell when she's having an off day or something's bothering her, and is far better than anyone at helping her feel better. all things said and quirky antics aside, he and annie are exceptionally close and fiercely protective of eachother the moment it comes to it. they don't make a big deal of showing it outwardly, but they know they've always got eachother's backs.

he's taken quite a liking to beowulf as well, and beo defintiely shamelessly enables sagan's shenanigans.

as i see it, annie may be the passion and power of their operation, but sagan is the heart and soul. beowulf is like....comic releif and emotional support. not entirely necessary, but certainly welcomed to have around. yeah. listen im a big sap i just want them all to be good friends ok. i love them.

also sagan does like and watch a lot of anime.

Blog Canon

miscellaneous happenings that either have continued relevance/significance, or y'all just won't let die. there's not a overarching plot to this thing at all, but geez we’ve kinda gathered some history here huh?

taught sagan to say fuck [and other swears, in her stead]. he used to have to do it on command but he's gotten really good at filling in for her.has a

stoat fursona that beo helped her make. she thinks it's neat/cute but has no real attachment to it.

attempted to sue the crystal gems for ripping off her entire shtick [it didn't go well]

beowulf also taught her how to dab.

@sparkeletran is a nuisance and must be stopped

the 70$ pile of high school musical merch. sagan and beo both wear the t-shirts sometimes. she hates it. don't let her attitude fool you though this is actually the best and most important ongoing joke in this whole damn thing.

the first handcuffs stint. they’re gone now but they had a good ~30-post run, and she did take to learning lockpicking because of it.

this.

hey. guess fucking what lads. handcuffs ROUND TWO 'cause y'all just don't fuckin' quit. the first mini story arc sorta thing, in which she visits the cirque des cartes and has an aggravting encounter with taliesin. [currently ongoing][hopefully soon ending]

[[redacted for ""spoilers""]] due to said encounter with taliesin

sparkeletran is a nuisance,

"the official annie of the stars instagram is just cat memes but with sagan" it's canon but i haven't decided whether it's something she would have had already or a recent thing. [either way, hasn't been touched on yet due to the arc taking so long]

badart annie is sorta like her own thing at this point but nothing that happens with her is canon; she p much just shows up for exceptionally dumb posts. we did give her noclip though which is terrifying. on that note i may as well include the things that are Not canon but y'all won't let me forget

beo's animated belt thing. look. it doesnt talk.

spray-on boots.

the lawnmower weapon

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh homestuck

[signalsandsoundwaves]

kay so I’m like 95% sure I just had my first ever real lucid dream??

so I guess some background on this for the past few weeks/months I’ve been having I guess are called reality checks, in my nonlucid dreams where I see something and I kind of act like how I rationally would in real life when faced with the same situation, like in one dream this weird giant figure thing materialized in the middle of the football field while me and a couple of other girls were on the bleachers talking about art stuff and giving each other critiques (they were actually critiques I’d make IRL too like I remember saying the line weight in her drawing was great, try making the color palette a little more vivid, said those in particular) and the figure thing was almost slowly robotically moving towards me? I was very creeped out by this just as I’m very creeped out by robotic slow movements by people in real life (my brother would do that as a way of pranking me and I wanted to slap him for it) and I remember hauling ass down the bleacher steps and going across the street (for some reason this dream the bleachers and football field were in my back yard) and I leaped the fence to get into my front yard (it’s a short fence irl) to get towards the neighbor’s backyard fence and leaped that one too (it’s also a short fence irl i am not an athlete :(  ) and that’s where the dream ended BUT I just wanted to recount that to you as an example of how I’ve been responding rationally to irrational situations in my dreams recently which may have set me up for this.

Ok SO this morning (like just now) I was trying to sleep at least a little bit cuz I had like a 4-5 hour nap last night (I should not nap, I basically sleep for soooo long lmfaooo) and after to trying to fall asleep for a couple of hours i finally fell asleep!! Good right? Nah. 

so the dream opened up to me sitting at the computer in my room watching a new rick and morty episode (season 3 episode 2 to be precise, which is not actually out yet!! so disappointed) and in the dream I was consciously thinking, “Wow! A new episode! Wait this is weird, isn’t the new season not coming out until summer? Are they releasing the new season early as another joke? Gosh this is a good joke if it is” and then I really got my first inkling of Wait a minute because the episode was some kind of weird musical episode!

Except it wasn’t obviously choreographed with timed routines and all of the stuff a proper musical would have it was just like dialogue they were speaking while singing it out? it was very very strange and I distinctly remember thinking Wait a minute Rick and Morty would never do shit like this and then when I had that thought they stopped singing their dialogue. and Thats. When. Shit. Hit. The. Fan. and I was legit having a 100% bonafide LUCID DREAM and I realized I had control! And I thought how fun! Let’s try something simple! So I just kinda made up some little cartoon characters and they appeared. I imagined them singing and stuff and they did that! and then I did some other things like changing the color of paint in my room, moving around (except that was weirdly difficult and it felt like I was trying to move through molasses which I realized then was because I was trying to move while my body was asleep and locked up from sleep mode) and it was pretty alright! 

Aaaaaand then I had remembered some line i read like a bajillion years ago about how you have to be sure to resolve any anxieties, fears, whatever because otherwise it could show up in the dream and I was kind of worrying because I was actually having fun and I didn’t want that to end AND THE FUCKING SECOND I WORRIED THAT THIS FUCKING LITTLE TOOTH MONSTER THING APPEARED and it was really weird because it had no eyes a g i a n t mouth that spanned its head (just like the harlequin demon from nightmare before christmas) and at the same time looked like a cartoon character? like brightly colored and everything and it would be harmless looking if it werent for that god damn mouth

and this little tooth monster started trying to get at me! and it hadn’t tried to hurt me yet or anything but I wasn’t sure and I knew it was caused by my worrying so I had a vibe it wasn’t going to be so good when it did get at me and I was thinking of ways to bind the little fucker up so I could properly deal with it and I realized that I had control here so I could try and vanish it away and it did! for like two seconds. then my thinking about it just made it reappear right in front of me as if it never left. So then I tried waking up. And I did, in the dream :/ I woke up to no cartoon characters moving around and nothing around and all way quiet and the room layout changed to match the room I have now (I really should have realize I was in a dream when my room layout changed but wait! There’s more!) except the paint color was yellow like my old room. I should have realized at that moment that I was still sleeping but I didn’t, and then I only realized I was still asleep in real life when me attempting to move my arm felt like I was trying to move through molasses again. 

And that was when I thought Oh Shit and the fucking. gremlin. tooth. monster. appeared. again right when I thought that! and it was back yet again with a vengeance and this time I thought okay I got control here right? I can just make some ropes or something and when I thought that these snake rope things came out of my fingers and started wrapping themselves around the tooth monster thing and it kind of worked, the little beast was restrained! so that was half of the problem solved and I started bringing the thing closer to myself because honestly I was going to rip this thing apart and get rid of it for good (until the next gremlin shit came along) so I started to try tearing it apart, and it came apart much easier than I thought it would! except this time there was no blood and it was like russian dolls where there was a smaller one inside the outer one? the shell of the outer one was super thin and connected the top half to the bottom half with those thin flimsy plastic hinges that you see on easter eggs. and the next one came apart easily still connected with that flimsy hinge, and the next, and the next too

the whole time while i was trying to tear this thing apart i kept hearing the thing laugh which was really weird because the body of the thing acted like it was in pain when I was popping them apart and then the discarded shells were unresponsive like they were dead? which made sense except for the laughing. it was a really weird kind of high pitched laugh like a baby that kept going as I split the bodies apart and I kept desperately trying to wake up wake up wake up and then I finally did wake up! In a lilac room, not yellow, which took me a second to realize was the proper room color that I should be seeing. I tried moving, much easier now, no molasses. aaand then i got up and had to do a quick reality check by interrogating my mom as to the errands we did yesterday and freaking her out LMAO 

so then I thought I had to tell the internet somehow (cuz im lame lol jk jk) and then I just went ahead and made a post here for posterity. Oh and one more thing time passed actually kind of normal in the dream? like I woke up and I was shocked that only about 30 or 40 minutes had passed which on second thought made sense because the events in the dream probably had only taken about that long to happen, but IRL when I dream I wake up with hours having passed. i guess i woke up in the dream relatively early hmmmm

edit: prob notable to point out that this is probably the first time ive had an actual nonsensical dream, usually it’s got some degree of realism or almost terrifying realism to it :(