#and LOL. Where the fvck is THAT gonna go?!?!?

[scoups4lyfe]

Debating between liveblogging now, or sleeping and doing it tomorrow

(It's not that I'm particularly tired--I'm actually wide awake, but the one thing I *DO* think these mood stabilizers do quite well is help me sleep even when I'm like an electric raccoon zapping around the house)

--but if I stay up too long then the effect wears down and I'm just wide awake and like the human embodiment of tv static or something.

[yorstrulyy]

Dear 2022,

Thank you for the memories. Nonetheless, it is with an utmost apology that I’m gonna treat you as one of my least favorite years. You were indeed a rocky hill, and along the ride, I had to stop countless times to reflect on myself and whatever was happening around me. I lost my grandfather this year, and even though we’ve been long preparing ourselves for his passing, the pain will always be excruciating as if I was not prepared; and as time goes by, I tend to realize that we don't really stop grieving for losing them. We just get busy and loaded. Well, nobody’s prepared for a loved one’s passing. That event in our lives will always be the one we never look forward to no matter how we tell ourselves that it is inevitable. Thus, if I have something to advise for my fellow and younger generations whose grandparents are still present in this world, it would be to seize every moment they have with them. However, this does not only apply to our ancestors, of course but to all our cherished family members. This year I also lost a friend who committed suicide and it slapped me how cruel this world is. Imagine how much he wanted to leave this place because it was already beyond suffocating. Needless to say over and over again, be kind to others no matter what the situation is because we do not know about their silent battles. We have no idea how shallow things can trigger their anxiety or worse, depression. Of course, this year is not just all about the bad times. I passed my comprehensive for 3rd year and was still able to continue my dream course. I also finally became a certified bookkeeper. I also met new friends and was able to maintain my friendship with other circles. I was also able to visit a lot of churches this year and most of them were my first visit, and I had to make wishes. I also tried boarding a plane alone for the first time. This year was also fun because I am the one buying my groceries and stuff. Also, I redecorated my room in Manila just so it would be conducive to studying. I was also able to buy a monitor for my studies XD. I may have spent a lot of money this year, but it was all worth it; not to mention the amount of money I’ve spent on coffee. Lol. Last but not the least, just as before the year ends, the romantic aspect of my entire life is in shambles. Well, it could be that it was already in shambles even before we reached half of the year, but it is only now that I’ve gathered all my strength to finally let go of what was long overdue. I am aware of how dumb I am for staying even when I was getting cheated on, was treated way less than I deserve, and was being told to my face how he does not love me anymore, but I guess, once you love the person, you tend to be irrational. It was my heart that I kept listening to, and not my brain. We’ve been in this kind of situation a lot of times already but this time hits differently. It is ironic how I was being gaslighted into thinking that it was my fault because it took me so long to move forward. It is painful as fvck. It also hurts right in my chest how I was treated like a t-shirt kept in a cabinet because it is uncomfy to wear in front of people, even your family. I do love the memories we built together even though all of them were just virtual, even though I never get to hear his voice clearly, and even though we never talked properly on calls. I treasure the months he was truly mine, but nothing will outweigh the pain of being his girlfriend but not the one he takes out on coffee dates. I like lowkey and private relationships, but not to the point where it is kept a secret. Fuck being a third party. No matter how painful it is, I also acknowledge my shortcomings. I am not a perfect girlfriend, nor will I be in my future relationships, but I always give my best and I pour all the love as much as I can, as long as it does not run out. This year might one of the worst ones, but I will never forget the lessons it taught me. It may take me a long to recover, but I certainly will. In God’s perfect time. Toodles, 2022! You will never be forgotten : ))

Sincerely, Yora

[bangtanger]

CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW

was thinking for 84 hours where should i post it but as its my creator blog i m doing it here <3 i was tagged by @taemaknae @suhdays @ynki @honsool @jjeongukie @taeyungie @dearbangtansonyeondan @lifegoesmon @everythingoes @flipthatjacketjiminie @yoongi-bts @jiminslight @hopekidoki @cowboyjinbop @yoonqiful @jcngkooks @pjmsdior @hobeah @balenciaguks​ @jinvant @hobibestboy @vjimin @yoongikook AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR INCLUDING ME T_T ik maybe its not a big deal but its a big deal to me and im touched :(((((((((((( also gimme some time to check all ur posts 👉👈 also im in a mood to say that ive collected many pokemons here djfksfhsakjddld ok nvm 

also sorry for a long post ik tmblr fvcks things up sometimes when there is keep reading so dont fight me plz <3

❀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020 

ok this is the fist one (still very pleased with colouring here T_T the stage lighting was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well yeah as always lmao) and this is the most recent (TBH DKJSKDSDK I WISH MY MOST RECENT POST COULD BE A DIFFERENT ONE THE ONE I WANNA MAKE FOR A MONTH NOW THE ONE ID PUT A LOT MORE EFFORTS IN SO IM A LIL FRUSTRATED i literally just missed giffing but couldnt watch anything new so took an old vid i wanted to gif once I DIDNT EVEN USE MYCOLOURING PSD IT LITERALLY HAS ONLY COUPLE OF LAYERS uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( but whatever,,, it just kinda doesnt show the difference -_-)

❀ a creation u r really proud of 

well 👁👄👁 there r quite few,,, and the main reason is colouring most of these r comps and i a b s o l u t e l y sucked at comps and esp at making the colouring consistent there lol so lets begin lol  1 (u have no idea how muchi love this set) 2 (i fucking mastered it i wanted to remake it for two years and i finally did!! 60 fps smooth good moments iconic performance iconic hair colour his attitude bruh and ofc the fact that i could do sth with colouring,,,,,, and chose such an unusual colour scheme that i doubted jckdckfdk and it still worked out 🥺) 3 (lol i had this idea written down since 2018 as well and this year i could finally collect all moments i needed and oh boi yeah,,, AND COLOURING I COULD ALMOST yeah almost do sth decent with it there r still couple moments id changed but im pleased) 4 (im so happy whenevr i see this CUZ IT ALL WORKED OUT it was such an impulsive comp i literally only saw couple moments for past few years as well where i could see three of them in one frame and suddenly I WAS LIKE I FUCKING MUST POST THOSE MOMENTS SOMEHOW and im so proud of colouring it looks so well T_T) 5 (the colouring ofc im still :o that i could get rid of that shitty shit dkksjkj AND THE MOMENTS ITSELF?????? AND BLACK SWAN???????? EVERY PERFORMANCE???? HAIR?????? OUTFIT???????? EVRERYHTIGNM???????? HIS FUCKING STARE? FACE??? DONT MAKE ME CONTINUE AAAAAAAAAAA also if im not wrong this set in particular made me start my before/after posts 🥺) 6 (i jujst love everything about it e v e r yt h i n g also i could made ppl believe that jin fr has purple hair here when in reality its brown djhfdhskdf one of blending modes or adjustment layers worked this way lol) 7 (i wont even comment this tried a great tutorial with great beautiful resuls for the first time ever and it worked out so well and i like it so much and the whole yoongi here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, also love me some borders that add cinematic feels to some gifs or just make them pretty in a dif way just like i did with prev post i mentioned imo lol) OK LAST ONE 8 (I USED A VIDEO OF STARS AND ADDED IT TO THE GIF FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I FUCKED WITHMASKING FOR 3 HOURS GRRRRRRRR THIS IS SO HUGE FOR ME!!!!! i cant even explain whew IVE NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE SO I WAS REALLY PROUD TOO even tho i fucked masking up on some layers lmao but lets not pay too much attention to it 👀)

❀ a creation that took u forever

ohhhhhhhh i think this one cuz the moments were long i couldnt decide what do i want to include + it ts file so u kno,,, the speed,,, of processing,, + somehow decided to put them all together + fucked with colouring + had to get rid of the logo and as we know japan likes a lot of big braight text around haha and draw hair in moments where logo made it look blurry + had to adjust the order and all that stuff but getting rid of logo was the longest part 

❀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes

whew this iconic one im still amazed tbh they looked soso incredible and im glad how everything turned out here <3 (could change some colouring on bg tho so it could look better and more hq :c)

❀ a creation u think deserved more notes 

lol this one cuz i was so hyped to make it cuz their concert in saudi arabia is one of my fav things in the world and i waited for so long to have mood and energy to go throught it to find jk moments and i couldnt choose some for this comp for so long and just,,,,,, overall,,,, the way he looks here............................................................... its a special comp to me haha ill def gif more of it i have shit ton of clips left and also there r other members and i just want to sit and enjoy yhe whole thing to so may find more stuff to gif here lol

❀  a new fandom u joined an a creation u made for it 

i didnt join anything heurheru

❀ a creation u made that breaks ur heart

OKAY LISTEN DSJAKDJHFDKJ THIS ONE IF U KNOW U KNOW AND IM SURE IT BREAKS ALMOST EVERY HEART tbh whenever i see soft smiles or soft interactions or anything like this im just :’( <3 even my serotonin boost tag does it to me cuz its too precious T_T

❀  a ‘simple’ creation that u really love

this one cuz everything about it ah and this one 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

❀ a creation that was inspired by someone else

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk maybe this one ? cuz i never did anything like this before and maybe i saw someones beautiful headers and decided to try one too ? i could do a lot better there is not enough depth but oh well,,, lol

❀  a favourite creatin created by someone else

oh its gonna be hard :) dear every conten creator i hope u dont mind if i wont go though the whole 2020 gif tag but choose form the most recent ones i loved? u know how much i appreciate ur content cuz i never stop screaming about it in tags but truly there r more content makers and i want u to know that i really love ur content :(

@syubb welllllllllllll i wont even comment this is iconique.....

@jinv T_T val i miss u but there should be bday comps with that BIG ASS IMAGE THAT HAS ITS PARTS ON EVERY SINGLE GIF I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN that icant even find dfjksfskj

@jung-koook i literally couldnt choose ehdskjdjksd but i decided this one cuz its sososososososososososososososososososososo well made every single detail here is chefs kiss

@kkulmoon i truly really cant get enough of ur colouring lately T_T

@minhope !!!!!!LITERALLY EVERY PANTONE COMP OR ESPECIALLY 7 YEARS WITH BTS PANTONE ONE IM AAAAAAAAAAAAA and lmao i think this is one of the most reposted things ive ever seen on internet T_T

@jjoon hng amy u know how i feel about ur content T_T decided this one cuz f l a w l e s s 

@hopekidoki stuff like this makes my jaw lie in the floor dsjkdj

@flipthatjacketjiminie idk whats up but it makes me scream like a madman every time i see it.........

@lifegoesmon i cant even explain why i chose this one but everything here is so incredible !!!!!!!!1

@hobeah one of those good fucking bye ones.....

@taeyungie this made me feel so many things and a whole ass a w e so cool T_T

@jiminfilter i will never shut up about bts core jungkook one should also be here

@seoksjin THE COLOURS I SCREAM OH MY GOD O HMY OGD I JUST WENT TO CHECK OUT AND SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY DJKSJD DECIDED THIS IS CRAZY THE PASTELS THE PINNKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EVERYHTGIN but also those birthday posts ahhh T_T

@jinvant i wanna YELL but also u know how much i love ur quality and blacks  T_T and gfxs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@yoongi-bts i love everything here with my whole heart!!!

@everythingoes SHOUWLD I EVEN EXPLAIN WHY

@hobibestboy THIS IS SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE COLOUR SCHEME

@joenns  I WONT EVEN EXPLAIN IM SO HURT HES SO THIS IS SO T____________________T 

@jjeongukie idk i cant get enough of skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!

@chaylani i really love the colouring and love these posts with highlights T_T

@eklipxe COLOURING AND EVERYTHIGN

@oncupid cant get enough of every colouring ive seen <3

@jiminslight THIS WHOLE GIF RIGHT HERE

@6dis-ease COZY AND PRECIOUS T_T

@ofkimtaehyung I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS ITS SO PRETTY

@taee it was really hard to choose too T_T decided to go with this cuz,, u kno

@yoonqiful CUZ THESE COLOURS DRIVE ME INSANE

OK THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG KDSFJSAKDL I WOULD ADD A LOT MORE CUZ THERE IS A LOT MORE TO ADD BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE HOURS I BETTER CHILL 

❀  some of your favourite content creators from this year

ok i may forgot someone + in no order in particular + literally every creator that i follow/whose content i reblog @taeguks @tearuntold @cyphertaehyungie @love4hobi @kimnamtaejin @taejoon @jimiyoong @namkook @taeyungie @jinvant @jinv @6dis-ease @jiminrolls @daechwitas @syubb @syuga @jjeongukie @cowboyjinbop @hope-film @minhope @hopekidoki @joonie @namgination @jung-koook @faerieth @kooksv @lifegoesyoon @yoonqiful @j-sope @chaylani @jiminfilter @jjoon @everythingoes @varietae @seoksjin @dearbangtansonyeondan @ofkimtaehyung @yoongi-bts @gaypeople @seokjinyoongis @agustdfeatrm @joenns @houseofarmanto @namjoon (will miss forever) @thebtsgenre @honsool @vjimin @seokjinite @jiminswn @taee @hobeah @lifegoesmon @taemaknae @gukgi @kkulmoon @flipthatjacketjiminie @jintae @jcngkooks @ynki @yoongikook @yoongiandthebiaswreckers @jiminslight @gwkie @oncupid @eternalbulletproof and many more <3

OK SO i wanna say a special thanks to every content creator ever and also i wanna say that im really glad to be a part of this community all of u r so cool and creative and make such beautiful things and many of u made me feel EMOTIONS with ur sets or not only sets ill be forever grateful that i discovered bts and for everything they do to me without even knowing ALSO THANK U FOR STILL BEING HERE ON TUMBRLDSDFKJ yeah this year was less active there were few issues many ppl went on twt but thank u for still being here also happy new year <3333333 i think i sounded deeper and more emotional when i was commenting ppls gifs :| but its almost 2 am so i hope u will understand dkfjkfsjk im happy there is this corner on the internet that feels cozy and so welcoming <3 i love u i wish u a better year ahead <3 ok for checking notifications purpose ill tag my blog lol @eternal-bangtan

[shiningloki]

Uugggh!! That Gretchen!! What the fvck is she gonna do? Get Loki drunk to have sex with her and worst.. Make herself pregnant with loki's child?! FVVK PLS NO.. 😞 Or set y/n up with another man at a bar where she asks her to hang out, get her drunk to get fucked?! And we all know the effects of alcohol y/n could hallucinate that she's with loki! What if the spell would be broken by that situation? She might get pregnant too that's not loki's! Or even call Odin (lol 😂) to erase y/n from loki's memory to leave her!

Oh my god, my overthinking/paranoia skills. Well, ive already said it so don't use these scenarios everyone hates spoilers don't they............. PLS.. 💔

(why am I so affected lmao)

Everybody aboard the hate Gretchen train!!

You’ve certainly got some interesting scenarios going on there! But as you and my other readers know, my lips are sealed!! I’m not giving anything away 😉

[hoaxexistence]

How I Met Your Mother.

This show inhabit a special place in my heart, and that is why my first show review here will be about it. The most controversial ending in the 21st century television. I'll start. Spoilers alert obviously.

Season 1 - We were introduced to this life of Ted Mosby. We got to know his friends, Lily, Barney, his best friend Marshall, and Robin. In this season, the audience's sympathy and feelings were with Ted. The feeling of finding someone to love and to have their feelings reciprocated equally. At some point, we were all Ted - stupid, indecisive, hopeless romantic. He's smart, supportive and loving and we saw that in the first season.

Season 2 - Since Ted is stupid, he cheated on someone for someone who isn't sure with him. Yes, last season, he cheated on Victoria for Robin. Crazy. Still, he's a great friend anyone could ask for. He never leave Marshall when Lily left and supported his sadness. In this season, I saw Barney's heart. He is more than a womanizer that he always wanted to portray. He does care. Takeaway in this season, I realized that love is something that most people search and never find that's why when you find that person you feel like you want to spend your life with, you do something about it and you keep them. Lily and Marshall proves that. And that it's not bad to chase your dreams as long you know how to weigh things. And art is life.

Season 3 - "it's funny how sometimes you just find things." In this season, Lily and Marshall started to build their own life by owning their own house (kinda redundant but who cares?). Ted, who still believe in love, dated again. Robin tried to live her life in the way she thinks suits her. The takeaway in this season is that when you have a dream, you gotta hold on to them. It can be hard, there will be obstacles along the way and we should face them because those can be the path that can lead us to where we supposed to be. Risking is not that scary if you know you got the right people with you.

Season 4 - Finding your purpose. I'm not one to talk about this topic because I personally have no idea about mine. But in this season, I felt the same way with Ted (I totally relate to him and I hate it) about what he wanted to do. It was a bumpy road for the gang in terms of their personal life and career, but in the end, Ted decided to teach (damn it, just to be clear, I never wanted to be a teacher, oh fvck, what if I end up like him?) Anyway, season takeaway: if you feel like you do not fit in to something, probably, you have to leave. Some things may be waiting for you to discover and you just haven't found it yet because you're stuck trying to push yourself into something you're not for. And you may be doing other people a favor by doing so.

Season 5 - "You can ask the universe for signs all you want. But ultimately we only see what we want to see, when we're ready to see it." A good season. Lily and Marshall's character were growing. Barney, kept his awesome self but his character keeps on showing softness which can be visible every now and then. Robin, well I personally don't like her (probably because I see myself in her, dammit) Ted, on the other hand, never stop believing in love tho he did doubt it when Stella left him at the altar and in some parts at season 2. But he's Ted Mosby, he'll start believing again. My personal favourite episode in this season I think, is 'the last cigarette ever', I don't know, I just love the friendship that was shown on that episode. Anyway, season takeaway: when you ask for a sign, that's already a sign. And you can't force your way out into something because you got to deal with them at some point.

Season 6 - "Sometimes things need to fall apart to make way for better things" yea that's the exact quote but I like to say it this way: some things fall apart so that better things can fall together. Same thought but better right? Yea, whatever. Lol. This season is full of emotions. Like a lot of emotions. I can say that the writers really outdid themselves. Marshall's father died, which I never saw coming. And tell you what, I've seen the show four times and I still cry on that scene. And Barney, he met his dad, and that scene on his dad's court, that broke me. Neil's acting was superb. Season takeaway: forgive people. Forgive yourself. Enjoy the little things. Appreciate each moment. Cherish the people who make you feel loved. Never hurt other people intentionally and make wise decisions. That's quite hard, but I guess doable.

Season 7 - "Not because something needs to be said, does it mean it needs to be heard." I don't know why I chose this quote for this season but I just did, so. Anyway, this is a good season, I loved this season, tbh. Lily gave birth to their son, Marvin. New beginnings, but Ted, somehow was still unable to settle his feelings. (I don't want to elaborate, just watch the damn show) And I hate him for being so dumb. There's this episode entitled, 'symphony of illumination' and 'tick, tick, tick' yea, those bummed me. I love how those episodes tugged my heart.

Shoot, two more seasons. Lol. Okay, FYI, it has been more than a year since I last saw the show, so everything I wrote here is based on memory and a little bit of help from ecosia so that I don't misquote them. Lol. Continue.

Season 8 - oh! this season, one of the best. The most elaborate proposal that I have ever seen. It was a blessing to the people. Jk. But, that proposal was so perfect I freakin cried. In this same season, Ted had a very touching imagination. He looked for his wife. He gave the lines - which I memorized, and told what he felt at that time and I just bawled like a baby the whole scene. It was perfectly sad and heart tugging. It was a premonition that I didn't see coming. Season takeaway: trust is important.

Season 9 - The season where most of the people were left unsatisfied. This whole freakin season revolved around Barney and Robin’s wedding. Yes, that was basically it. Jk. In this season they build up Barney and Robin’s love and then they give us the mother. It was great. Up until the last two episodes. The writers failed me. The love that they built up ended up with divorce. WTF ryt. Then the mother died. And that montage scene of her and Ted together, ugh I had nothing else to do but to let my tears flow. It was heartbreaking. Takeaway: things may not always go according to plan, life goes on and we move forward.

All in all. I was disappointed. The writers tried. And I salute them for trying and giving the audience a streched and realistic ending. Just like what I said before, It's not the destination, it's the journey. And still I love the show, all its plothole, all its bad side, all the inconsistencies, and all its flaws. I've learned a lot of lessons from it. The show has a lot of quotable life quotes. I discovered beautiful songs (the ost is superb). Discovered new shows. And it taught me how to appreciate life more. And for that I am so thankful. Here's a final quote, tho I'm still not fully confident with this:

"Because sometimes even if you know how something’s gonna end, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the ride."

[myforeverforlife]

A drabble for @fvck-del-rey! Thank you for sending a request!

Junmyeon + 9. “You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!” + 14. “They’re so cute when they’re asleep.”

Word Count: 1,178

You had finally gotten a chance to go on vacation with your boyfriend for what seemed like the first time in ages. One catch: some of his friends were coming along as well. And you didn’t really have a problem with it — Sehun, Minseok, Chanyeol and Yixing were all nice people, and you considered them your friends as well. Plus, you and Junmyeon would have a room all to yourselves, so everything was all fine in your book.

Until you saw the mess that your boyfriend had made. 

You had only been away for a couple of minutes, going to Minseok and Yixing’s room to ask them if they had seen your phone charger. When you finally found it stuck at the bottom of Chanyeol’s suitcase, you had gone back to your room and planned on taking a calming shower before heading downstairs with the others for dinner. 

When you opened the door, you were taken aback by how different your room looked when compared to when you had left.

“Jun?” you called out tentatively. “Did a tornado hit our room?”

“What?” Your boyfriend stepped out from the small bathroom, following your gaze and scanning the area. “No, why?”

“Um, because it’s a mess? What did you do while I was gone?”

“I was unpacking. I’ll put this stuff away, I promise.”

“Okay,” you answered skeptically, already trying to avoid stepping on any clothes that he had left on the floor. You hoped that maybe by the time you had gotten out of the shower, the mess would be at least a little better.

You were sad to realize that you were wrong — if anything, it had gotten even worse.

“Jun, how are you going to find anything in this chaos?” You draped your towel over your shoulders, letting the damp strands of your hair rest on top of the fleecy fabric. 

“What do you mean? I can find my stuff.” 

“Yeah? Where’s your pajamas?”

Junmyeon’s eyes darted around the room, shifting from side to side until he pointed at a small lump near the sliding door to the patio. “Over there!” 

“And how long did it take you to find them?” 

“A couple of seconds.” 

You rolled your eyes, going over to your suitcase and opening it up. “If you put your clothes in the drawers that the hotel has, you’d be able to find it a lot more easily.” 

“But this system works for me.”

“Jun, this isn’t even a ‘system’. It’s just you leaving your stuff everywhere until you’re forced to clean up.” 

“Okay, okay. I’ll clean up after dinner. Are you mad at me?” 

“No,” you replied stiffly, pulling at the zippers of your suitcase harshly as you took out the piles of clothes and laid them on top of the dresser, ready to be put inside. 

Junmyeon sighed before coming over, knocking over a small lump of pants as he did so. “I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me.” When you didn’t look at him, he pressed closer, his hand coming up to cradle your cheek. “Sweetheart?” 

You finally let go of the clothes you were holding, eyes fluttering closed as you leaned into Junmyeon’s hand. “I don’t want to be mad at you either. But I also don’t want to stay in a hotel room with your stuff scattered everywhere.”

“And you won’t. I’ll clean it up. Now come on, let’s go downstairs with the others for dinner.” 

“Okay.” You opened your eyes to see Junmyeon beaming with what you called “the bunny smile”, the one where his teeth were showing and his cheeks became even rounder as his smile pushed them higher. It didn’t take much for your boyfriend to try and win you over once more. 

Dinner was practically a feast, with the all-you-can-eat buffet luring you all in until you felt as if you would burst from how full you were. When you got back to the hotel room, you and Junmyeon were both too tired to do anything but automatically fall into bed and sleep until the next morning. 

You, Yixing and Chanyeol had plans the next day to go visit the zoo while Minseok, Sehun and Junmyeon would spend the day driving around and visiting various historic landmarks. You had given Junmyeon a goodbye kiss at the hotel, reminding him about cleaning the room. “Don’t forget, Jun. Please.”

“I won’t. See you later!” 

Your day at the zoo had been packed full of fun, and you left with a pair of bunny ears atop your head while Chanyeol had his monkey plushie hanging from his shoulder and Yixing held his sheep plushie in his arms. You returned to the hotel tired and with aching legs, wanting to relax without any worries. You opened the door slowly, ready to call out to Jun when you saw the exact same mess as the one that you saw in the morning. 

Groaning, you pulled off your souvenir from the zoo and tossed it onto a table, stomping over to your boyfriend who lay unknowingly on the bed. He held his phone in his hands, and didn’t notice you until you were right next to him. 

“Oh, when did you get back? I missed you.” He sat up, dropping his phone onto the bed and going in for a kiss when you leaned back. 

“Jun, you didn’t clean up your stuff! That’s it, you’re banished from the bed.” 

“What? You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”

“Yeah, well I’m doing it anyways. I’m tired, and I don’t want to argue with you about this right now.”

“Then don’t. Here,” Junmyeon rolled over until there was space for you. “Take a nap with me and when we wake up, I’ll clean.” 

“Do you promise?” 

“I swear. If I don’t, then you can banish me.” He flashed you a goofy grin before opening his arms to you, waiting for you to curl up in his arms.

It was no use, you were too much of a softie and Junmyeon was too cute for you both to continue this discussion any further. You laid down, letting Junmyeon wrap his arms around you as you snuggled into his hold. “You better keep that promise,” you said with a yawn. Soon, the two of you were fast asleep, light snores filling the room.

From the room next door, Chanyeol and Sehun laughed at how quickly you and Junmyeon had made up. Your little argument had been audible through the walls, and they had almost begun to worry. “Those two and their fights,” Chanyeol chuckled to himself. “They’re so cute when they’re asleep”. 

“They’re cute when they’re not arguing,” Sehun added.

“Yeah, that too. When do you think Jun’s gonna pop the question?” 

“Probably soon. Hopefully he hasn’t lost the ring.” 

Unknown to you, there lay a small box in a tiny pouch hidden in Junmyeon’s suitcase with a ring meant to rest on your hand. It was only a matter of time before he was ready to give it to you.

A/N: i swear i’ve been trying to keep these under 1,000 words, but it seems like every drabble is just getting longer (this scenario just ran away from me lol) also, just imagining the mess was starting to make me anxious! 

@mikapeanut

[plainlybiasa]

on life : 2021.08.10

so it’s been...idk, half a year? since my last post here?

and that means i’ve been seeing my psychiatrist for quite a few times now.

turns out i have both physical & mental reasons for my nausea :

the endoscope shows that the band at the end of my esophagus, which is supposed to keep stuff in my stomach from going back up, is sorta ‘loose’ & i can’t do anything to prevent that permanently unless i opted for a surgery. but the doctor advised that it’s not too serious for a surgery, but it’s really up to me if i decide to do it one day. or if it gets worse or/and unbearable. but anyway i was prescribed a type of medicine that could lessen the production of stomach acid so i’d feel lesser pain. a gastric med, if you will.

aaand, the psychiatrist i’ve seen told me i may have anxiety (generalized anxiety disorder) & the most recent visit, she also mentioned i may also have depression. which is not very surprising to me tbh. 

the long story for the mental diagnosis :

so one day i felt too overwhelmed & started crying in the car (luckily i was parked) & just needed to get some serious help. i called the hospital & slotted an appointment for me -- ngl i couldn’t even speak properly because i have no idea what i wanted : a therapy? a psycho...something? i didn’t know what kind of doctor i should look for but yeah we got through that -- and i braced myself for my very first encounter with a psychiatrist.

the first session was basically digging through my history & my physical conditions, and any possible changes that triggered the onset for the things i felt at the time. lo & behold i was immediately prescribed an antidepressant & i took it & went to my next appointments as best i could.

then some time in June i think -- i couldn’t go to my scheduled appointment (i had to be in self-quarantine because a close contact was covid-positive at that time) & i was like “okay then we’ll reschedule it once my quarantine is over.” but oh boy oh boy OH BOY. the time between that missed appointment & the rescheduled one, i can’t remember how long it was -- 2 weeks i think? -- things started to go off-track. when i think back to it, i could really feel the lows going way lower than i was used to the months before. could be it’s from the lack of meds assisting my brainworks, since i didn’t get any more meds since it ran out (was supposed to continue getting prescribed with it during that missed appointment but i didn’t get any obvs). all i could remember now was, during that 2-week-period, i was pretending everything’s okay when internally everything came crashing down, emotions ran wild, thoughts never shutting up.

so when i managed to go meet the psychiatrist on the rescheduled date, i literally cried. i couldn’t hold anything back; i spoke some sentences & i don’t think i managed to finish any stuff i talked about. of course i hated myself even more because what in the ever-loving fvck am i doing, crying in front of a person i barely know? the more i tried to stop crying, the more i cried.

the psychiatrist then prescribed an additional meds to the one i was already taking, i think because i was so...uncharacteristically miserable...at that session. maybe, i don’t know.

the session afterwards (2 weeks after that disastrous one) went better. i could think clearer, and had this sort of resolve i think? to get away from the stressing work conditions i was in all this while. the psychiatrist said i also may have burn out (surprise?) because i was like “yeah whatever” towards work now lol.

but anyway. yeah i’m on 2 kinds of mental meds now, on top of 1 physical meds. i may have to take them for the rest of my life but you know. i don’t really mind. if it helps me to function properly, i’m okay to it. at least for now.

work is still a pain btw -- but last week i took it upon myself to meet the department head & tell him how my anxiety was becoming worse compared to the last time we had a meeting (in the last post). i don’t know if it’s because how bad i looked/appeared to him (i could feel myself being on the edge of crying again tbh; my voice shook a lot), or if i sounded desperate, or simply maybe he didn’t have the patience to listen to my whole story (the whole meeting took like 5 minutes only) -- but he straight up said to me “would you want to try another thing?” and i immediately said “yes” because that’s what i’ve been wanting. i told him where my interest is in -- it’s gonna be out of his department -- and he assured me that he would try & see if he can arrange things to make this happen. so that’s that.

the change that i needed -- i’ve told about my interest in another field to my direct supervisor like last year during my annual performance review, and i’ve also asked my supervisor’s boss for other opportunities i can do, because i couldn’t keep doing what i’ve been doing these past year. i felt trapped. but i couldn’t see their plans for me, hence why i brought it to the head of department, partly also because he’s experienced a similar thing (anxiety), so i figured he understands it better.

so we’ll see what happens in the coming weeks.

[narcopharmacist]

Last night i was listening to Be As One by w-inds ( that ending song from Fairy Tail, go check it out) because i was reminiscing the past lol you know those moments when you just feel like you wanna take a look at whether you’ve grown into a more mature person or you’ve become complete trash.

So I thought... Was there ever an anime/were there animes where the storyline is basically an unrequited love becoming requited and the main couple get together in the end? However before they get together we see the girl confessing and the guy just wasn’t vibing but he gave his reply, ie “thanks but i can’t” you know? It’s cliché now but back in the day I’d bawl my eyes out. I did so with Lovely Complex, and most especially with Itazura na Kiss.

Back in the day, when I was watching Itazura na Kiss on youtube (and in parts too!) lol, and I had Lovely Complex downloaded, I really felt the main girls’ pain, because I was experiencing the same thing irl. When Risa confessed and she cried fvck I cried so hard. When Kotoko was in the rain thinking she’s gonna be single forever and then the guy Irie appears waiting for her, AND THE ENDING SONG WAS NEW, I cried.

I felt their difficulty in dealing with their unrequited love because at the time I was experiencing the same with my crush. You know like I don’t know if he likes me back and I’m confused because he’s so subtle about it (I realize it too late) and all of my classmates would ship us, including teachers and even guardians (my bestfriend’s aunt) told me that my crush liked me because he said so himself - here’s the story: We were at the gymnasium and she told me that my crush liked me. It just so happened that HE WAS PASSING BY and she called him out asking “Right? You like her right??” And I, too embarrassed to look, glanced at his reaction. He fvckin nodded.

But both of us were too shy to admit it (i mean, we told each other through paper messaging that we liked each other but that was like 3rd grade, and i can’t remember if i took it seriously or nah), that’s why until now I think of it as unrequited. It was painful, but I knew I was too young.

Anyways there’s my throwback thanks.

[yookihyunjjang]

ok now with all the conspiracy theories

Time for mine lol which is long as fvck but who cares

So, I got a theory, but it has loads of holes in it. And it’s about all the clan mv’s together.

So, firstly All In

the first album was called Lost. And, in my opinion, everything that happens in the all in mv, happens during some war or uprising shit idk

anyway, it’s called Lost cause all the members were lost in some way: didn’t know what to do with their problems, these hardships that they have (ex. Shownu’s father, Hyungwon’s idk father too, Minhyuk’s boyfriend aka Hyungwon jk, Kihyun’s leg and so on). So, Lost. Also, I think they were taken to fight, to be soilders, so they found a way to “overcome” all the stress that was coming from the war but also their own smaller hardships. And here’s where the blue flower comes in. They found out blue flower gives them strength, to the distinct, that it even heals them. BUT. What I think is... they used it in a wrong way, kinda. It depends on a member I guess now. And this brings us to part 2

Guilty

ok, the title is also pretty clear, Shownu’s guilty of robbing the bank, plus him and the boys pretty much set on fire a building. He be sittin in jail, as we can see in the Fighter mv. ok now. Remember when I said the blue flower affects boys differentely? So, Minhyuk and Hyungwon bathed together in the blue juice and now they be exchanging their minds or something. And they got put in an asylum, madhouse or whatever you call that, anyway, it’s also pretty clear. Oh! and I think the war that was happening in All In already passed. So, the boys kinda got seperated, as it usually happens after the war. Somehow, they got in contact however and they are trying to get Minhyuk and Hyungwon out of the asylum. We got Kihyun who kills someone for a plantation of the blue flowers, got Wonho who builds a machine to produce the jellies (or candy or whatever that is) that Minhyuk and Hyungwon will eat after. And here’s where the first hole comes in. Idk what is Changkyun supposed to do. I can see that he also got kinda mentally ill and is acting like a child now or some shit idk anyway he helps them with his toys and they manage to get all three (shownu included) out of the asylum and out of the jail. They run away.

Beautiful

ok here. this one actually makes the least sense out of all of the mvs. or it’s more methaphorical, as one would say. all I can imagine that it’s a some type of dream that they all have (including Jooheon or excluding him I can’t decide). Also, idk if everyone noticed that, but they are in some type of corridor, I mean Jooheon is. It looks like a train to me, but I can be wrong. Anyway, let’s just go with the thought that it’s a train. So, that means they are still running away. Also, there is a lot of things that explain everything so now I will proceed to explain them. So

Jooheon

Jooheon, as you may or may have not noticed, is the main character. Yes, it might have looked as if it was Shownu, Minhyuk or Kihyun (in Shine Forever) but it’s actually Jooheon. He’s the one who gives Shownu guns, he leads this all gettin high on blue flower thing, through him Shownu, Minhyuk and Hyungwon get free (I also think he was “the brain” of all of these situations). It is shown clearly here, in Beautiful. He is the one who connects all the rooms, there is also one scene where he sits on a rope. And what does rope do? It connects two things. Well now that I think of it they might just have been on the ship, cause Jooheon’s sitting on a sailing rope, you know what I mean. The one that connects the ship to the shore. Ok now. Time for the Shine Forever.

In Shine Forever the situation is also pretty clear. They are either hiding or still running away from, you know, all the “bad” they’ve done. And yes, Minhyuk got Kihyun in an accident and Kihyun lost his sight. BUT I don’t really think he lost his sight completely, I think he’s either losing it or he got very sensitive to light. And now, the most complicated thing. 

The eyes

Kihyun’s eyes are blue in the very last scene of the mv. Why tho? Are these even his eyes? And I’m gonna tell you - yup, they are. So, remeber the blue flower from All In and Guilty AND Beautiful? Yup, that’s it. What I think is, not everything is shown in the mv. I think they gave him the blue flower, so that his eyes could heal and so that he could see again. All this setting up the lights is not the action to bring back Kihyun’s sight itself, it’s just checking if he can see now. They are doing that at night, in the darkness, not to harm his eyes. And, it worked and he has blue eyes now, because of the aftereffect of the Power of the Blue Flower. ta-dah.

ok now I’m not finished, but all the rest are just speculations, I have nothing more to say, unless you ask or something haha

k bye i’m out

[everlastingd0pe]

So I need a huge favor!!!

I know some of y'all are like Bvnks where the fvck you been and some of you aren't even familiar with me. So let me reintroduce myself my name is Jay bka Bvnks but also know as Buddha Bvnks. Why all that extra shit right? Lol. Well Buddha Bvnks is my pseudonym for my art. Which is why I'm making this post. I'm an artist out of NYC trying share his love and craft with everybody but also make a living. Now I'm not gonna give you a whole sap story and waste your time cause trust me I got plenty lmao. But! All I need from y'all beautiful is to go follow my art page @buddhabvnks and like & share my work. I will be updating it real soon and trust me the improvements I've made in this hiatus I've been on you wouldn't want to miss. I'll even be updated this page and everything else so please go follow my art page @buddhabvnks and stay tuned for shows, pop up shop, and more...

[scoups4lyfe]

Oh thank fvck 

Her winning an award was just a dream 

Cause I fr was gonna go insane on how THAT happened LOL 

Yeah where tf were you dragon boy????

Awww the trio is here too <33

[teamsteffy2point0]

Hey Team! Can I just say I cannot stand this pathetic chick and her need to always be Hustlin Backwards! She is the Poster Child on what not to do in your journey to Womanhood. Katie Logan Spencer Logan is the biggest joke on this show. She doesn’t know if she is coming or going and I am getting sick and tired of watching her dizzy arse! lol

Now you may ask...”Why am I being so harsh?” First of all, this character was put into the GIFTED HANDS of Soap Opera Diva, Heather Tom. This woman can kill any scene, range and emotions you can give her in a script! So here you have this beautiful, strong, brilliant woman gracing our scene in a broken down sad pitiful excuse of a character. It’s to the point that watching HTom play Katie Logan doesn’t even appeal anymore! Katie Logan is beneath her skills. Hence, Hustlin Backwards. You got this actress who can bring out the most powerful scene in any character she plays, yet she is stuck with a character who has the personality and strength of a wet rag.

Moreso...Katie Logan has to speak on something in everybody’s lives and the things that she says is enough to make you wanna sent out a Jake Ballard from Scandal to disposed of her, because at times some people just need to disappear. 

Like her need to always confront Quinn Forrester. Yes, Katie...Quinn is Mrs. Eric Forrester and as much as you are tripping over yourself at the thought of it, everyone else has moved on and decided to live their damn lives in spite of it. Which is kinda funny to me, her need to insert herself into Quinn and Eric’s lives while claiming that what is supposed to make her a better and stronger person is not being bothered by what’s going on in the lives of  the two people who were out to destroy your sanity a few months ago, yet Quinn and Eric who haven’t done a damn to her, unfortunately gets all of Katie’s unwanted attention. See, that’s some Hustlin Backwards bullshyte! If you truly understand that getting on with your life and handling your business is Minding Your Own Business and keep moving forward, why would your nosey arse be all up in your neighbor’s home? Nobody called for Katie! See that is just being Petty and Bitter and deflecting it where you think it could cause some damage by Eric and  Quinn making the mistake in giving you some attention. See, Bill and Brooke never gave a fuke about Katie and she KNOWS that! So even if she was still bothered by #BrillONasty...#ChumpChange and his #OleFilly don’t have a fvck to give to her. They have shown and made that clear...twice now! Infact, they don’t even acknowledge her existence unless they need something from her and if she gets out of line, they will dismiss her again! Quinn called it when she said that Katie Logan is everyone’s favorite pet, to be called and dismissed when needed. So it has to be killing Katie to see someone who was as hated as Quinn was become the Belle of the Ball. I mean, Brooke had to ask Steffy and Liam to invite her to the wedding! That’s rich!

Also, why is #QRidge her business? I can get being a little thrown off when you first see the tension between those two, but you run and tell Brooke claiming that you are concern about her and Eric’s welfare? Let’s say that Katie’s truly is...why? What has Brooke done so far to deserve Katie’s concern for her? How have Brooke redeemed herself with Katie? All I have seen is the same thoughtless sister who decided after ruining her little sister’s marriage, that she would shrugged it off and then leave and go after the life she wanted all the long! Brooke wants to be a Forrester, not a Spencer, but while she couldn’t get that life, she couldn’t stand watching Katie be happier than her! But now that she has what she wants, she wants Katie to be a witness to her HAPPINESS and Katie agreed? Plus, Katie wants Eric. That bitch spent more time visiting Eric with false pretense of finding old balls and sharing newspaper (like yeah...Eric was in search of that ball for decades and couldn’t afford to have his own paper delivered, picked up and brought to his morning table by their maid, Maria...blank stare) then she spent visiting her own husband at work to noticed that he had built a love nest in the back room of his office! So we know what her concerned for Eric is about...but then, why show your hand now? If she was smart she would get Two for the price of One with this gem! First, she would get a front row seat at watching Brooke suffer the same pains that she had to endure at Brooke’s hands and then be there for Eric without being the person who has burden him with the message, because face it...Everyone hates the Messenger! So the best thing to do would be to let this all play out on its own. Let the pieces fall into place and let the chips fall as they may. But she is a Backward Hustlin piece of work, so trust...she will find a way to screw it all up!

I just cannot put up with Hustlin Backwards trip she is on and the Nosey Chit needs a Hobby that doesn’t involve her focusing on other people lives, if not...I am gonna need a Dingo to come and drag her away while she is in Australia! lol

[alfreedomm]

Tagging thing that is late-posted

Ah yes, thank you @chinaskywasky for tagging me over a month ago and my wifi was really bad so I decide to do it now that it’s better ;u;

Rules: tag 20 followers you want to get to know better... Can I skip this? I have no friends on tumblr. other than Eloisa...

Name: ...Brice or Amx {Amex}

Nicknames: Sofa, Bricey, bob, bab, cakes, bale, zeld- I have a lot

Gender: Female

Star Sign: Taurus

Height: idk but shorter than Kaillum

Sexual Orientation: Heteroflexible or for you other people straight but is just gay for some people I don’t even know

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff...?

Favorite Color: Purple... or pink and green and I love the red and black

Favorite Animal: Bunnies and wombats!

Time Right Now: 7:55 PM

Average hours of sleep:  6 hours but it changes sometimes

Cat or Dog Person:  Fish person

Favorite Fictional Characters: Ahahaha- APH America, England and Denmark, Link and the kikwis/koroks/ancient robots from LoZ. Will Solace and Tom and Tord... I have a lot...

Number of Blankets I sleep With: 2

Favorite Singer/Band: One Direction, Arctic Monkeys, Sam Smith, NEPHEW, Hetaloid/Vocaloid, Coldplay, twenty one pilots {no crossed o’s i apologize} P!nk and Melanie Martinez...

...and does Noriaki Sugiyama’s voice count?

Dream Trip: AMERICA!!! Austrialia as well because wombats and of course- Danmark! I’ve also wanted to go to Norway by car from Sweden.

Dream Job: Comic artist, animator or a writer.

When was this blog created: I really don’t know...

Current Number of Followers: 2... meh

When did your blog reach its peak: what?

What made you decide to make a tumblr: I wanted to make a comic but I never went around to it lol

Why did you choose your URL: I’m gonna be changing it soon to fvck,amx or something but Rainbow-Pencil was suppose to be a comic but I never got around to it... this may just be an account where I post my comic for Falling Cliff though soon if I ever get a tablet heh

[scoups4lyfe]

SCOUPS BAAAAACK *tackle hugs Scoup*

MY COMRADE IN ARMSSSSSSSSSSS

HAHAHAHA I **AM** back >:D

I feel great. (Ironically LOL)

☆⌒(ゝ。∂)

Update wise:

My psychiatrist upped my mood stabilizer dosage.

I was taking 50mg,,,, now I"m taking 100mg,,, and this Saturday It'll be upped to 200mg. (Wild.)

Hmmm. When I first started the 100mg --11 days ago-- I fell out of my manic episode like a jester falling down a steep cliff. (ghjnsdkghgsf)

And by that I mean I lost all of my emotions LOL!

......:D Calling it depression feels wrong. Like, I couldn't feel anything. Not sad, not depressed, just nothing 😛. It was to the point that I did exactly what I was NOT supposed to do and started drinking caffeine (which I never drink) just to feel alive.

I mean,,,,, it WORKED (LOL). But the moment it ran out, like a snap of the finger, BOOM. Immediately empty. The kind of empty where you can't even fake a smile. Honestly-- I felt like an empty glass cup more than a human.

This last for about 5 days, then I started to normalize and have felt normal (ish) since then. But while my mental health was stabilizing my physical health said:

So at like 7 PM today I went to the ER (as one does) and got home maybe 2 hours ago (it's like 4:30 AM rn); and apparently I have a kidney infection and what not.

The reason why I went to the ER: Eating 2 spoons of rice made my stomach feel like I had eaten burning knives. I ate 3/7th's a banana like ....6 hours later (mind you this is ALL I had to eat today, and I'm being literal about the 2 spoonfuls of rice) and the banana made me feel like my stomach was gonna implode or something. So I was like 'well well well. So it's come to this.'

(The stomach pain has been for like weeks LOL. I gaslight myself into thinking I'm bonkers and then it's like 'do I want a $20,000 hospital bill, for nothing?' 😛)

Took some medication for it (the infection) and I feel...fking fantastic rn >:].

Med wise --as I said above; this Saturday my dosage get's upped to 200 MG. And I have absolutely no fkin idea how this will affect me.

IDK if I'll become an empty shell again; or if it'll repeat what happened last time

(when I took 25 mg it did this same thing; but when I took 50 MG like...literally went manic LOL.)

Which means my 3 options Saturday onward:

Nothing happens. My mood is stable. I'm normal and human.

I tank and lose all my emotions and ability to feel anything.

I go manic (and at 200 MG????? dawg I'd just become literally not even on earth anymore).

Like if I wanted to eat / lick book pages when I was manic during my 50 mg arc,,,, wtf would 200 MG do to me if I went manic????? Lortd.

LONG a$$ recap. But yeah. Now that I'm being treated for my physical whatever-the-fvck; guess it's just on what these mood stabilizers do to me.

Either way I'd love to go stupid and crazy live-blogging again >:]]

[scoups4lyfe]

Sorry totally forgot to even write my point about the candy (apparently other subs make it clearer she meant the family candy, implying the Dark Candy but I'm still gonna mention my theory). So my thinking is that there's something about human candy that gonna be revealed to have affected Shouma in some way. Also love the recontextualisation of the truck scene. It's not that he thought the truck would be strong, he thought he was weak.

Damn bro your brain fking going hard rn

I think you bring up a really interesting theory here, about the dark candy, because yeah it could be that she was talking about human candy, which would be the BIGGEST plot twist

I honestly like that better than if she DID mean dark candy

Because then we've already fked it LMAO

And then, how will it change Shouma? What will happen? Idk but I'm excited to see where this goes.

AND MAN—

the fking recontextualisation of the truck scene is SO good, holy shxt.

Shouma probably feels weak for a number of reasons, mostly related to his mother traumies, but we have no idea how the Grangran society treated him, or whatever the fvck was happening in the beginning lol, so idk. HIs personality is really interesting to me.

Very intriguing.