#and I've only wrapped 2 fucking presents

[hannieween]

after dark | city lights series | h.js

It all started with a deal with your next door neighbor, Joshua Hong. A little harmless deal that surprisingly led you to finding love; and a part of yourself that you were still discovering.

✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader ✮ genre: fluff, angst, smut (18+) ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, boyfriend joshua, ldr ✮ word count: 16.4k

›🎧: habit – i.m | chi-ka – tabber ft. dean | singularity – v ♡ | restless – bibi | smoke sprite – so!yoon! ft. rm ♡

→ previous chapters

› nsfw tags under the cut

✮ warnings: alcohol consumption (no dubcon), smut with plot, obnoxiously long sex scene, hard dom joshua, brat reader, reader is on the pill, foul language, dirty talk, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, messy cumplay, body worshipping, jealousy, oral sex (m, f), multiple orgasms, manhandling, a bit of degradation kink, brat taming: pussy slaps, overstimming and crymaxing; aftercare, pet names: sweetheart, princess, baby, bunny (hers) handsome, baby, babe, baby boy (his)

✮ this is loosely proofread, i could've waited patiently for the brilliant @cvntrlseecvntrlvee to proofread this for me but i am, you guess it, impatient. haha sorry my sweet vee. i love u 🩵

✮ this chapter is for @beckyloveshannie, happy birthday, baby 🩵🥰

✮ a/n: the obnoxiously long sex scene is for me. it's a self indulgent thing, i won't apologize for how fucking long it is. you suffer with me kekekekek

✮ a/n 2: also, stick around for the announcement in the final author's note!! •⩊•

✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers ONLY. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part viii — part two

The flight that was supposed to be short ended up extending over two hours in the air because of a weather issue. By the time you reached the airport you felt exhausted, both physically and emotionally.

You felt like you had failed the main purpose of going to visit Joshua. Which, in reality, wasn't your sole intention of visiting him. Mainly, you just missed him so bad it made your heart ache. The second intention was to try and make him clear his schedule for your book release party.

However Joshua couldn't do that. He didn't say why, he just said he was not going to be able to attend.

You tried to see reason within that. Joshua was extremely busy these days, recording session after recording session, meetings, networking, shows, you name it.

But, he said in the past that he wanted to be there with you on the day of the release. And you couldn't help but think that there was no way that he changed his mind in the span of a few weeks. Was recording more important than his words to you?

Again, you tried to give Joshua the benefit of the doubt.

Among all of the people coming and going in the vast space of the airport, you spotted a black haired man, wearing a bright pink sweatshirt, pacing back and forth before deciding to sit down on a bench, phone in hand, the screen so bright it illuminated his whole face.

"Mr. Yoon?" you called faking an overtly sweet voice.

He winced at the sound in surprise and lifted his brown eyes to you. "Oh, grandmaaa," he chuckled, standing up to wrap you in an asphyxiating hug, bringing a hand to your head, running his knuckles on your scalp.

"Jeonghan, stop it," you whined.

"I've been calling you, ever heard of picking up the phone when it rings?" he muttered through gritted teeth, pulling away from you almost aggressively.

"I just landed, Jeonghan. I didn't take my phone off airplane mode," you muttered with some annoyance but couldn't fight the smile that crept on your face when you saw his. "Stop it with the grandma thing."

"Don't tell me what to do," he scoffed, putting a hand on the crown of your head to ruffle your hair. "Come on, hurry, or your present's gonna die from suffocation in the car," he added with a low chuckle.

"My what?" you gasped but he immediately turned to the direction of the sliding doors of the airport. "Jeonghan!"

You had to hop quicker to catch his step. "You know for someone who's recently recovering from an ankle injury, you sure are fast," you said with a tired gasp.

"I'm not fast, you're slow," he muttered, turning to give you a look. "It comes with old age."

"Can you stop with that?!" you whined and felt more irritated when he just snorted with a laugh. "I'm younger than you."

"You might be on paper, but not in spirit," he lifted his pointer finger as if lecturing. "Did you tell your boyfriend you arrived safe?"

Your heart skipped. "Oh, I forgot," you muttered and got your phone from your tote bag.

"It's affecting your memory now," he tutted, getting the key to his black BMW M3 and unlocked the door for you, opening before stating: "And please don't sit on your gift."

"Oh, what is it?" you peaked inside the car before climbing into it. There was a large paper bag on the passenger seat. "Is it this?"

You lifted the paper bag with some reluctance as you slid onto the seat. Before you could turn around and look at Jeonghan, he was already closing the door to his car and going around it.

"Very funny," you muttered with a scoff, opening the bag to receive the smell of fries. "You said my gift was alive."

"I mean it had to be alive at some point," he pointed with a shrug.

"I thought I was going to find a pet or something like that," you muttered. "I hate your pranks."

"If you want that, I can get you a bunny," he nodded at you "Or a goldfish, so it doesn't run away."

"Someone hasn't watched Finding Nemo," you said in a mocking singsong tone.

"Pretty sure that's a clownfish, you clown," he let out a chortle and pointed at the bag with his nose. "I got you your burger."

"Oh! Thank you, Jeongjeong," you cooed happily, grabbing a fry but before you could stuff it in your mouth, it was quickly snatched away by his lithe fingers. "Hey!"

He cackled, chewing the stolen fry as his devious laugh filled your ears. "Put your seatbelt on," he started the car and immediately drove off the parking lot and into the road.

The click from the seatbelt resounded between the two of you, since you were busy munching on fries.

"I assumed you'd be hungry" you heard Jeonghan say calmly now, he maintained his eyes on the road.

"Yeah, I am. Thank you Hannie. Want a fry?" you offered.

"Please," he sighed, leaning to your side as you put a fry in his mouth. "You should try the burger, it's really good."

You nodded, though he didn't catch that. His eyes didn't leave the road until he heard the rustling noise of the paper bag as you took the burger with your hands, unwrapping it to sink a bite in.

"But not in my car!" he protested loudly, sending quick looks at you.

"You smoke in my apartment, I'll eat in your car," you quipped and laughed when you saw his jaw nearly dislocate.

"Those two are not equivalent!" he said with a look of disbelief.

"I decide they are," you said matter of factly, showing him a slight smile as you munched on the burger.

"You little–" he cut himself off with a laugh but he settled back on his seat with a small: "Brat."

You froze for a second, getting an odd feeling. Like an unsettling chill crawling down your spine. But Jeonghan was back with his eyes set on the road, paying no mind to what your reaction was.

"Oh, I forgot to tell Joshua that I'm with you," you muttered, trying to mask the alarming jolt in your stomach.

"Did you ask him about next Friday?" he pried, when he looked at you his eyes drifted to the fry you were holding in front of your mouth.

Jeonghan parted his mouth as you stuffed the fry in his mouth.

"He said he won't be able to make it," you muttered, trying to mask the pain constricting the tone of your voice, but it was too late.

Your heart deflated.

"Mmn," he hummed with some understanding. "Did he say why?"

"Nope."

You finished typing the text and sent it to your boyfriend, locking your phone to concentrate on the big burger that looked huge in your hands.

"This is really big, Hannie," you muttered innocently before taking another bite with a pleased groan.

"Yeah, they all say that," he said with a brief chuckle.

You nearly choked on your food. "Jeonghan!" you squealed, making him laugh harder. "You're gross."

"As if you didn't know me already," he scoffed and you told on his need to change the subject when he grabbed his vape pen from the cup holder as he asked: "So how was it? Were you able to tell him what was bothering you?"

"Uh, yeah," you frowned. "About that."

"Fuck me," he groaned, his arms going slack but his hands were still gripping the wheel. "You didn't tell him?"

"I was... busy," you muttered shyly and looked away. "We talked about other things, but I never got around telling him about my... insecurities."

The car came to a stop in the parking lot of the building and Jeonghan turned the engine off, a hand immediately reaching inside the paper bag to grab some fries.

"And how do you feel now?" his eyebrows lifted slightly.

"I feel like crap," you let out a sigh, trying to mask all of your emotions but the weight was too much, making you drop your gaze to your lap. "And now he's not going to be here when I release my book and it makes me question whether I want a stupid party or not because I know I'll feel bummed."

"Why? No! I'm already scouting a place for the party," he shook his head, grabbing more fries.

Your heart sank a little. "You are doing what?" you asked with a tiny voice.

"I'm looking for a nice place where you can have your party," he shrugged. "I think I found something, but I'm negotiating with the owner so we can have an enclosed section of the restaurant."

"Jeonghan you shouldn't have!" you muttered, your tone quivering with emotion.

"I'm not doing it out of the goodness of my heart. It's your boyfriend's instruction," he looked around aimlessly. "He might not be there, but he is putting the black card."

"You're joking," you scoffed. "Tell me you're joking."

"My jokes are funny," he tutted. "This is not a joke."

"Jeonghan," you said firmly, your head tilting to one side.

"I'm being serious!" he smiled the way he did when he knew he was getting in trouble. "He wants you to have a nice party for your big day."

"A party he's not attending!" you whined and your eyes brimmed with tears almost instantly and you had to look away in shame.

"You're not doing this for your boyfriend, you know that," he reprimanded. "Now quit being a sorry ass and eat."

You pouted and looked at your burger.

"What?" Jeonghan chuckled at the sad expression on your face. "What, why are you doing that face? Please eat that or I will."

At that, you raised the burger and took another large bite, the tears that had gathered in the corner of your eyes ran down your cheeks.

Jeonghan threw you a reproachful look, but a slow and awkward smile drew on his face. "You're unbelievable," he snickered, bringing the vape and tucked it between his lips, drawing a big intake.

"And you're mean," you retorted. "You're not a good friend."

"Now you're just making shit up," he laughed.

"I am," you smiled sheepishly, taking another bite from your burger. "Mmnph this has bacon in it," you delighted with big tears in your eyes.

"Yes, princess, it has bacon in it," he muttered aloofly, unlocking his phone and typing something quick.

"How did you know I liked bacon?"

"Everyone likes bacon," he rolled his eyes and sent you a look again.l "You told me you liked bacon."

"I did?" you squeaked out, mouth full of food.

"You were drunk," he muttered, still looking at his phone.

"Mmn," you hummed, pausing for some thought. "I've been doing that quite a lot."

"What, forgetting things?" he raised his head. "Yeah, that's normal in old people like you."

"Jeonghan, no!" you whined in frustration. "I mean, getting drunk."

"Please," he brushed off. "You get drunk two weekends in a row and start getting worried. You should loosen up more, grandma."

"What do you mean?" you asked in a high-pitched whine.

"I mean... you read too much into things," he dropped his phone between his thighs. "Relax. Don't worry about meaningless things. Eat."

"Pfft," you laughed. "Wow, that's great advice, Jeonghan."

"Yeah, it's not my best one," he looked out the window, biting the tip of his thumb. "Listen, I just don't like to see you like this, okay?"

"How?" you inquired, thinking that he might list emotions he saw on your face. Sad, disappointed, deflated.

"Insecure," he replied with a tone of obviousness. "It makes you irrational. That's why you can't sleep. That's why you turn to alcohol."

You swallowed, uncertain as to how to proceed with this conversation. It seemed hard to believe that in such a short time, Jeonghan has learned how to read you perfectly.

"I'm working on it," you replied with a small pout.

"I know," he replied with a warmth coating his tone, the understanding mirroring in his gaze. "But you're not canceling this."

You breathed out through your nose while you munched on your food. The only sound you heard beside you was the raspy intake of Jeonghan's vape.

"God, I've so many things to do," you said, leaning your head back on the headrest. "I don't even know where to start."

"Do you need help?" he asked promptly. "I can help if I can."

"Thank you, Jeonghan but," you sighed with some frustration. "It's stuff only I can do."

"Let me keep you company, then," he said with a reassuring smile. "Unless you want to be alone and you're too shy to tell me."

You looked into his kind eyes for a second, but it was long enough to make you feel an exhilarating jolt deep in your gut. You looked again, feeling a bit flustered and nodded to him.

"Company is okay."

Jeonghan helped you carry one of the boxes full of freshly printed and packed books and you carried another. He looked excited as you both made your way up to your apartment.

"I haven't read your books yet," he commented, weighing the heavy box in his arms. "Makes me feel excited."

"Uhm," you choked out. "Yeah... about that."

"What?" he raised his eyes at you. The elevator came to a stop and you hurried yourself out and to your apartment door.

"You don't know what I write?" you asked as you opened the door and let your friend in, who looked avidly interested in your books upon seeing your reaction.

"Should I?" he asked curiously.

"Joshua didn't tell you?"

"He just told me that you're a writer, that's it," he cocked his head to one side. "Was he supposed to tell me?"

"No, not at all just," you breathed out, putting the box on the round dining table.

"Why don't you just cut to the point?" he asked, sounding a little annoyed now and with a low grunt, he placed the box on the table too. "That shit is heavy. For someone your size, you carried it like it was nothing."

"The difference between you and me, is that I go to the gym so I can sleep," you huffed, feigning some pride but your joke was broken by your own embarrassed laugh.

"Yeah, whatever, grandma," he nodded with a playful smile plastered on his face. "I've heard your knees crack everytime you get up, so shut up."

"You shut up!" you whined like a child.

"Tell me what your books are about," he retorted while pushing the sleeves of his pink hoodie up to his elbows.

"Vampires," you muttered, but your tone fell flat.

"Tsk. I know that," he said, making his way to the kitchen and freely opening the door of your fridge, pulling out a bottle of soju and a can, which he left one day he stopped by. To keep you company as well.

"Can I get one?" you asked, nodding to the bottle of soju.

Jeonghan stopped, his eyes zeroing on your face and nodded. "You got it," he muttered, deciding not to make a comment about your newer alcoholic tendencies.

You went to your study to get your pencil case, coming back to Jeonghan sitting down on the dining table, popping the can of beer open with eyes on his phone screen, that were dragged to your frame when you entered within his line of vision.

"Do you want to watch TV while I do this?" you offered meekly when his eyes darted down your frame swiftly.

"I was thinking of watching you do whatever it is you have to do," he shrugged, leaning back on the chair, knees spread wide.

"Uhm, okay," you replied, sitting on the chair next to him. "You're going to grow bored."

"That's what the booze is for," he replied, pouring some soju on the pair of glasses, and then poured a bit of beer. His fingers moved the glass in circle motions on top of the table and then lifted the glass to you. "Drink."

"Thank you, Hannie," you whispered, taking the glass and holding it for him to clink together.

"Cheers," he said before drinking up. "Now, about your book..."

"Ah," you nervously opened one of the boxes.

The cover was pretty. Prettier than you ever expected one of your books to look like. Even when you were up all night writing the book, you never got to imagine it would sport a jacket so pretty.

You got a permanent marker from your pencil case and opened the book, to swiftly scribble your author's signature, plus a dedication note that read:

To Jeongjeong. Thank you for being the greatest friend and blessing I never knew I needed.

You closed the book and slided it across the table to his hand.

"What?" he asked, completely clueless, opened the book and quickly read the signature. His bright, sweet eyes lit up as he looked at you. "Aw, princess, thank you."

He turned the page over, his eyes reading over the book dedication, the one that the world would see. Your heart dropped, knowing what his eyes were reading, his expression changed a bit but then he immediately closed it.

"So, tell me what this is about," he insisted, trying to change the subject. "Go on, I'm not gonna read it right now."

"The book is about vampires, magic. It has a lot of blood, drama... and sex," you cleared your throat shamefully and drank from your glass deeply. "A lot of it."

A moment dragged on, Jeonghan kept the features of his face in check, but then he broke with a wheezing laughter.

"Don't laugh at me," you whined.

"Sorry, sorry," he recovered with a sniff and then drank from his own glass.

You narrowed your eyes and blurted out: "You knew."

"Of course I knew. Joshuji told me what his involvement in the making of your book was," he sent a cheeky look at you.

"Oh," you gulped. "He did? Why... when?"

"Before you guys got serious he... uh," he dropped his gaze, seemingly deep in thought for a second and then he shook his head. "I shouldn't be telling you this, anyway but he told me about you so, it's fair game."

"What are you talking about, Hannie?" you frowned, a deep remorseful feeling settling in your stomach.

"One night I got a call to come pick him up at Cheol's bar. When I got there, he was completely gone," he sighed and looked upwards to the ceiling, much as if he were uncomfortable by the predicament of being both Joshua's friend and now yours. "You had uh... you guys had a fight, or at least he told me you were taking some time to think about what you wanted."

"Hold on, when was this?" you inquired, your heart sank upon hearing this, and desperately wanted to pinpoint the time when this had taken place.

"I don't know, a month ago? Maybe. I know you guys weren't serious yet. I took him into my car, he was crying like a baby, telling me that he fucked up, that he ruined everything with you, blablabla," he rambled, only pausing to drink from his glass, emptying it completely and then started to refill it.

"Jeonghan, stop," you raised a hand. "Slowly, please."

He sighed again, adding a little grunt in the process. "The next day, he woke up in my apartment, hungover as fuck, he almost didn't know where he was, he didn't even remember being at Cheol's bar," he leaned back on the chair again, crossing his arms over his chest. "He told me everything about you because I wouldn't let him go without him explaining what got him like that."

"Did he..." you inhaled deeply. "Did he tell you why we fought?"

"Yeah, he told me," he whispered, nodding with his head and then he smiled at you. "He told me a lot of things. He told me more about you. And I asked him why you guys got into a no strings attached thing in the first place and he told me he was helping you write some scenes for your book."

You had to look away from him for a moment, squeezing your eyes shut to the image running in your mind, causing you a deep pain that sunk into your chest.

"God," you gasped. Your eyes brimmed with tears when you opened them again.

"Look, I know you wanted a fun, snarky response from me but... I'm telling you all of this because I want you to know, he loves you," he placed a hand on the crown of your haid, ruffling your hair in the process. "He's just dumb when it comes to showing it."

"He never told me all of this," you whispered, wiping a tear from your eye with the back of your hand.

"Of course he didn't," he said, shrugging off. "He probably didn't want you to know that he cried in my car, drunk off his ass."

You leaned your head to one side, sniffing loudly. "I've hurt him so much..." you sobbed, your voice was a mere whine.

"And he has hurt you."

He grabbed his glass and downed its contents in one go. He looked at you, chin raised, heavy lidded eyes now from the alcohol working fast in his system.

"But that's what you're getting for when you're in a relationship, right?" he asked, stretching his arms over his head. "Ups and downs."

"Right," you mumbled with some thought, feeling your gaze lose focus in the wall behind Jeonghan.

"Well, we were signing books, weren't we?" he said abruptly,

You scoffed, grabbed another book and opened its lap to sign the first page while Jeonghan watched you carefully.

"Do you have another marker in here?" he asked, rummaging in your pencil case and pulling out another black marker. "Nice."

"Jeonghan, what–," you blurted out, watching him take a new book, opening the first page and replicating your author's signature nearly to the point. "The fuck?"

"Yeah, I'm not proud about this," he muttered as he put another book in front of him on the table. "But it's coming in handy right now, isn't it?"

You smiled, the sound coming from your lips drew his eyes to your face. "Yeah, knock yourself off, you little humbug."

"Hehe."

The week went by slowly again. Slower than before, it felt like.

You continued to be on top of your work, trying to channel those days  when you kept yourself so busy to even think about Joshua, back when he lived thirty seconds away from you.

So your days would look like this: wake up, tend to your needs, turn your computer on, get as much work done without dwelling on the fact that your boyfriend was far away, probably in a city you'd never been before.

Sometimes, he would have the time to call you; and you would talk for a good chunk of time. Sometimes, he wouldn't even return your texts, being so that he didn't have the time and when he did you were already asleep.

The biggest challenge for you was going to bed. But that was almost routine for you. Rolling in your bed, or trying to hold onto the pillow that no longer held the scent of your boyfriend's hair.

When the day of the book release rolled around, you lied in your bed, staring at the ceiling until your alarm beeped. You reached out to stop the annoying sound alarm from your phone and sighed, hoping that the day ahead of you wasn't as bleak as your sleepless night.

But maybe you were just being too much of a pessimist.

You hit off the day by checking your email, texts and such. Apparently your book was one of the most anticipated releases for the Fantasy genre, and the pre-release had also been a success. So you just checked if everything was going alright, not caring to see anything about reviews or anything pertaining to the reception just yet.

So you kept yourself busy towards the time when you had to start to get ready for the party later in the night. Your normal day to day tasks were only interrupted by a call from the smart doorbell ringing.

You approached the small screen and were promptly notified that someone had sent you flowers.

"Come on in," you replied politely and granted them access to the elevator.

The delivery service man was at your door in less than two minutes. The flower bouquet was arranged already in a pretty ceramic vase, a light pink bow wrapped around it, safekeeping a card.

You gently placed the vase in the middle of your dining table. Already knowing the one person who would send you flowers. But you took a moment before opening the envelope to see how pretty the bouquet was.

It was an assortment of all types of flowers and colors, white, yellow, pink, and blue. Then you grabbed the small envelope tucked beneath the bow.

Congratulations, baby! I wish I could be there to give you these in person. But I guess I can give you more flowers every day to make up for it, right?

I am proud of you, bunny. I love you and I miss you every second.

J.

[19:32 PM] you: thank you for the flowers, Josh. I loved them 🥰

You waited for a few seconds in hopes that he would appear online, to receive a text back, a call, anything. But his last message was an I love you, bunny, that he sent more than twenty four hours ago.

Releasing a sigh, you decided to give up your phone, since you had been obsessing over it since Joshua left and it was causing you so much mental stress that you thought you would break soon.

Besides, you would have to be ready soon. Jeonghan had offered to come pick you up himself. More like he just instructed you to be ready, not giving you a chance to pass it up for mere politeness.

But Jeonghan had become your friend, he was no longer just Joshua's friend.

Standing in front of the long mirror, you debated whether to change your dress into a two-piece suit, thinking it might be more in line with the nature of the celebration. But the dress fitted you well, it hugged you in all the right ways. The color of the fabric complimented your skin and the length came just above your knees, legs covered by stockings too.

With a sigh, you grabbed your high heels and went to open the door.

Jeonghan stood there, hand raised in a fist and a startled look in his eye. "How did you know I was already here?"

"Takes me about a minute to get here from the lobby and you just rang the doorbell, so," you replied with a dark and gloomy air about you. "So, let's go."

"Wait," he muttered softly, blocking your way. "Fix your attitude first."

"What?" you grimaced. But he only crossed his arms on his chest, tilting his head to one side. "Jeonghan, I just want to get over this."

His eyebrows pushed up. "This?" he hissed, now looking more serious with a low tone, adding: "This is your party, celebrating your accomplishment. Quit being so hung up on Joshua not being here. This is your night. Come on, let's go."

"Fine," you huffed, following him down the hallway and into the elevator. "I'm so getting drunk tonight."

"Tsk, ah you're so dramatic," he replied, rubbing one eye with the tips of his fingers. "But if it makes you feel better I am in the mood for a drink. Or two."

"It does make me feel better," you muttered awkwardly after the reproachful look Jeonghan gave you, then you feel your face contort into a smile. "You can get really feisty."

"That's the pot calling the kettle black," he muttered and broke into a chuckle himself.

"What," you blurted and his laugh became louder. "And I'm old? You're the one saying the grandpa stuff!"

"It's your influence," he finished chuckling, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. "I gotta stop hanging out with you."

"And deprive yourself of good company?" you mumbled under a breath, chest swelling with pride when you could see him choke on his words, a perplexed look on his face was the last thing you saw as you walked out of the elevator.

"Ah, they learn so fast," Jeonghan said with a long sigh, his tone rising in a sing-song manner as he closed the door to his car, you sitting on the passenger seat, smoothing out the skirt of your pretty dress.

The launch party was meant to be a small gathering between friends. Since you were an anonymous author, there was no point in having a public party or in a big library with readers so this party was just to celebrate the launch.

When Jeonghan pulled up at the drive in, the car doors were opened for both of you and you stepped out to a restaurant. The front was adorned with bamboo trees and low warm lighting.

"Hold on," Jeonghan called from behind you, and you noticed that he looked somewhat jittery, sucking in a breath through his teeth. "Do you think I'm still walking funny?"

You gasped at him in exasperation. "Stop trying to distract me, Jeonghan," you whined, rolling your eyes. "Yeah, you still have a limp, but nobody is going to notice. Now can we go inside?"

"Wait, no," he laughed uncomfortably, motioning you over with a hand. "Come here."

"What?" you asked, your face dropping when you saw the serious look on his face.

Jeonghan appeared to be struggling with the tiny brooch clasped on one side of his silk shirt. "I didn't know what to get you… you don't strike me as someone who likes presents," Jeonghan began to explain, casting a meek look at your face. "And after all, you're the first writer I've ever known to publish a book."

You laughed, and rolled your eyes at his bad joke. "What is it?" you asked with excitedness now as his lithe fingers approached you.

"Can I?" he motioned to the chest of your pretty dress and waited until you nodded at him.

It was a dainty gold brooch in the shape of a dragonfly. As you ran your fingers over its small wings, you felt the small stones embedded in them.

"It's supposed to symbolize good luck," he said with a hint of nervousness.

"Thank you. I love it, Jeongjeong," you showed him a smile.

The wind picked up a little, tousling his long black hair; the fringe tangled his eyelashes and made him blink repeatedly, making you giggle. He mirrored your smile and for an instant you thought you saw something change in his eyes.

But he took a step back, pleased with the view of his gift on you, which he placed on one side of your chest.

"Yeah, it's nothing. You don't have to thank me," he brushed off, putting his hand back into his pocket. "Let's go inside.

The section that was reserved for the party was a bar area secluded at the back of the restaurant. As you approached it, being led by Jeonghan walking in front of you, eyeing you every two seconds as if confirming you hadn't run away.

"Okay, are you ready?" he said, stopping before a sliding bamboo door.

"Yeah," you replied, but your tone was full of uncertainty.

"Just put on your best smile, pretend that all of this is a surprise," he coached you just before sliding the door open, doing a half bow and his arm pointing you inside the small bar area section.

You were instantly received with a loud welcome, some of your friends were there, cheering, clapping. It totally threw a blazing hot blush on your face, but you were quick to act surprised and overly cheerful.

Your best friend, Yena, came running to you to wrap you in a hug that almost had you stumbling backwards. She laughed and bounced grabbing your hands, her joy contagious.

"You made it, you made it, you made it," she chirped with a bright smile, but her pretty eyes dimmed upon reading your face expertly. "Are you not happy? What happened?" she asked and immediately knew: "It's him, right? He's not coming."

But before you could even open your mouth to utter a word, a glass of champagne was slided onto your hand. Jeonghan appeared from behind you, handing you the glass with a meaningful look in his eye.

"Come on, have a drink," he instructed and pressed his lips into a smile at Yena in a polite manner.

You immediately downed the glass in three big gulps.

"Oh, okay," Yena narrowed her eyes, understanding the situation. "We're not talking about it, right."

The room was elegant. The walls were painted a dark color, but the warm lights shone beautifully on the pictures hanging on them, also casting shadows on the high tables.

You assumed that the area was intended for parties such as this. It seemed like an extended part of the restaurant, except it was closed off to the general consumers.

The thing about having a party to celebrate something for yourself was that you had to be the center of attention. Luckily, a lot of your guests wanted to talk about your book, about the process of writing it, about how good it was that it was out, and about making numbers.

There were one or two people from the press, sent by your agency to answer some basic questions for publicity pieces and the like. They didn't take your picture, of course, as that would defeat the purpose of anonymity.

All you had to do was have a smile on your face, be polite, be friendly, but something was off. And you didn't want to think about it, but your fingers itched to grab your phone and check if there were any messages from Joshua.

"Okay, we have like one more hour to go," Jeonghan told you, probably reading in your demeanor that you ached to go home.

"What am I going to do in one more hour?" you said insufferably.

"I don't know, I've never been to a book release party," he shrugged.

"What do you do on opening nights of plays you've directed?" you asked him.

"You mean on closing nights," he corrected, pursing his lips cutely. "It's different because a play is more like a team project. I usually just thank the people that helped me make it happen."

"I don't want to make a speech," you quickly said, seeing the little glint in his eye. "I have nothing prepared."

"You'll figure it out," he muttered before turning to the room and clearing his throat loudly.

Jeonghan grabbed two glasses of champagne, gave you one and then gave you a small encouraging smile.

"Hi, everyone," you started, a chirpy nervousness quivering your tone. You cleared your throat and once you got enough eyes on you, continued. "I just wanted to thank you all for coming, and for sharing this night with me."

You looked to the man standing by your side. Jeonghan's lips were pressed in a smile, he nodded at you and placed a lithe, delicate hand on your lower back, as if giving you his support.

"I uh, refrained from doing this party, feeling like my obligation as a writer was done the minute the first copies were printed but, that's not true," you breathed out shakily. "You're all here because you've helped me throughout this process, even with things you're aware of, or things like just being a good friend to me."

You briefly looked at Jeonghan again, his smile had fallen, but his sweet eyes locked on yours.

"I have to thank Jeonghan here, whom without none of us would be here, because I don't know how to throw a party," you heard some muffle laughter, and continued anyway. "I wouldn't have done this without you, Jeongjeong."

Jeonghan dropped his hand from your lower back, blinked slowly at you, the ghost of a smile painting his pink lips.

"How was it?" you asked nervously afterwards, feeling your limbs trembling slightly, a side effect from speaking in front of a crowd.

"You're good with words. It's almost like it's your job," Jeonghan replied, his soft brown eyes lighting up when he saw you smile and heard you laugh.

"Please," you stammered a little.

"I'm being honest," he shrugged. "You know I can be honest sometimes."

"Mmn," you pushed your lower lip outwards, narrowing your eyes at him. "I find that hard to believe."

"Well," he pondered for a second, drawing in a slow breath. "I'm always honest to you, princess."

"Why do I find that more suspicious?" you jibed at him.

He tore his eyes from your face with an embarrassed smile. "Shut up," he scoffed, raising his glass up to you and you drank with him, hearing some people clinking glasses together, some people cheering and a very distinct voice calling your name,

"Congratulations, bunny."

You instantly turned to see your boyfriend, standing behind you, so close that you just took one step to him, his arms wrapping around your body, hugging you tightly.

Your mind instantly began reeling, a thrill of both excitement and frustration coursed through you, bubbling inside your chest. "How... what are you doing here?" you gasped, holding onto him. "I thought you weren't going to make it..."

Joshua kissed your head while he hugged you, his hands rubbing up and down your back until he heard you sob. He pulled back and cupped your face with his hands, looking at your eyes with a soft expression in his face.

"And miss your big day?" he asked, leaning closer to press a tender kiss on your lips. "Wouldn't dream of it."

All the words you've been meaning to tell him coiled in your throat again. The painful thoughts made you recoil, thinking that it was best to tell him in private. So you returned the soft kiss, pressing your lips on his lower lip, feeling his small smile.

"Thank you for being here, Josh," you whispered, pulling back to take a look at his face.

The bags under his dark beautiful eyes denoted not only a long and exhausting day but weeks of hard work and no rest in between. He even looked a little pale under the warm glow of the lamps on top of both of you.

You suddenly wished you could feel bad for him, for all the accumulated remorse, frustration and sadness of him leaving, for his lack of communication, for making you feel neglected, even if he didn't intend to do so.

Joshua pressed his lips, nodding at you with a knowing look when he understood the discontent on your reaction.

"We'll talk later, okay?" you mumbled, giving him a squeeze on his arm.

"Okay," he replied, his eyes drifting from your face and falling on a figure standing beside you. A tired smile drew on your boyfriend's face as he approached his best friend. "Hannie."

They exchanged a quick hug and Joshua thanked him for helping throw the party for you. With a pang of concern, you wondered then if Joshua had heard your brief speech before he decided to approach you.

Joshua let out a sharp exhale, pulling out his phone from the back pocket of his jeans. "I have to take this," he told you, planting a kiss on your forehead and excusing himself out of the room.

You followed him with your eyes until you lost sight of him, releasing a sigh of your own, coming to grips with what was happening, you turned to Jeonghan.

"Did you know?" you demanded.

He pushed his eyebrows up. "Know what?"

"That he was coming!" you gasped, looking around to make sure no one was paying attention to the whole exchange.

"Of course not," he leaned his head back, eyeing you with a hint of reproach. "I would've told you. You know that."

You caught the certainty in his eyes. You knew that Jeonghan was a crafty liar, but he has shown you that no matter what, he has your back.

"Why do you look like that?" he muttered discreetly.

"Like what?" you mumbled with a tiny voice.

"You're doing that thing with your face when you're about to cry. Oh no–," he muttered quickly and then, his whole stance changed, he took a step closer to you, as if shielding you from the eyes of your guests when you took a sharp intake of breath, your sob resounding loudly.

"Princess, don't cry right now," he said gently, stretching an arm to reach for a napkin on the table behind you and passing it to you.

"I'm so mad at him," you whispered, lowering your head so you could easily hide your tears.

"I don't understand. You wanted him here, you cried for days because he wasn't coming and now that he is here, you're mad at him?" he muttered hurriedly, and you looked up to see his frown.

"He didn't tell me he was going to be here," you sniffed quietly, using the napkin to carefully gather your tears without ruining your makeup completely.

"That doesn't help me understand," he gave you an awkward smile, darting a look up and then back at you. "Listen, he's coming back. You can go to the washroom behind me, or you can confront him now."

You rolled your eyes, seeing the triumphant smirk stretching on his lips, because he knew what you'd choose. "Screw you, Jeonghan."

"I'll cover you. Go," he nodded back to the hallway behind him.

You swiftly walked down the hallway and towards the door of the washroom. Luckily your quick argument with Jeonghan got you heated enough that you composed yourself from the rageful fit towards your boyfriend.

So you just made sure that the makeup you used in your eyes and your lashes hadn't run. Looking in the mirror for any signs that you had cried at your own party and when you were certain enough, you walked back to the table.

Joshua was already there, having a lively conversation with Jeonghan. Your boyfriend's face lit up when he saw you, it was an attentive look he gave you, extending a hand at you as you made your way to his side, and he quickly secured an arm around your waist.

"Everything alright, bunny?" he asked.

"Joshua," you gasped, looking at Jeonghan who was witnessing your pet name being thrown around freely.

"What?" he chuckled, his smile drawing lines on the corner of his eyes.

"Don't call me that in front of people," you whined with a high pitch tone that would instantly send a warm rush of blood to your face.

"Why? You're embarrassed of what Jeonghan would think of it, baby?" he teased and you smashed a hand against his shoulder playfully.

"Yes!" you replied in an obvious tone.

"Don't worry, baby. You can trust that Hannie won't judge," he said, casting a glance to his best friend.

You suddenly felt like you were missing something. Looking at Jeonghan who just smiled at you playfully while your boyfriend appeared to be mirroring his smirk.

"Still, it makes me feel embarrassed," you muttered quietly but it was too late now.

Jeonghan chuckled at the expression on your face, mocking you a bit like he usually does. "While you two lovebirds are tearing at each other, I have to go get something arranged," he said, swiftly making his way to talk to someone from the staff.

You awkwardly turned to see your boyfriend, who broke into a shameless laugh. "Joshua, you can't be calling me bunny in front of Jeonghan."

"Why not?" he asked, shrugging off with some ease. "He calls you princess."

"You," you choked. "You know that?"

Joshua drew in a breath, chest swelling as he nodded with his head. "Yeah, I know that," he replied shortly. "I heard him."

"I thought it was a normal thing for him," you frowned, feeling a little confused.

"It's not," he breathed out, bringing up a hand to pinch your chin gingerly. "We'll talk about it later, okay?"

"Are you sure?" you blurted, reading the features of his face desperately. "I do-don't want you to think that–"

"Baby," he whispered, shaking his head slightly. "We'll talk about it later."

You decided to let that matter rest then, thinking that it was best to start by what was more important to you.

"We need to talk about many things," you said, arching an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I know," he tilted your head back using his hand on your chin, to gently press a kiss on your lips. "Let's enjoy tonight? I have something for you."

Joshua drew a small box from the pocket of his jacket. It was a black velvet box that fit perfectly in the palm of his hand. Your heart almost gave out as he used his other hand to open it, and your hand flew to your chest.

But it was a dainty necklace, a heart locket made of gold. Heart racing, you looked up at his doe eyes, which were smiling softly upon seeing your reaction.

"Do you like it, baby?"

"Yeah," you breathed. "It's beautiful, Josh."

"Turn around," he motioned you over so he could clasp it around your neck. You pulled your hair back to give him access to your neck and placed the necklace around it. You reached for the delicate heart locket with your fingers, feeling something engraved into it.

At that moment, Jeonghan returned with a smile on his face that told you he was up to something. "The cake is here! Finally."

"What cake?!" you gasped, your heart sinking to your stomach when he pulled out his phone and started recording your face.

"Should we sing happy birthday? After all it's your book's birthday," he teased with a mischievous grin and called, "Everyone!"

Then as if on cue, everyone around you, your guests, your friends, your boyfriend behind you started chanting a happy birthday song as a big cake in the shape of your book, was neatly placed in the high top table in front of you.

You smiled when you noticed that the art of the cake was an exact replica of the cover of your book.

As the chorus continued on, you tried to keep a smile on your face, although the blush had started to create a tingling sensation on your cheeks now from the embarrassment and from being the only center of attention.

Jeonghan smiled broadly at you, keeping the camera of his phone steady on your face. He seemed content with his work, with all of the things he planned for this night.

A warm hand parked on your lower back. Joshua gave you a reassuring smile, singing along with all of your guests and friends until the song came to its end. You almost died of embarrassment. But you smiled back at your boyfriend and tried your best to enjoy the rest of the night.

The ride back home was quiet. You didn't mind this until a large and warm hand landed on top of your thigh, squishing your skin over the fabric of your stockings.

It was a squeeze that demanded attention, a look, a word, anything. Though you continued to look out the window, a wave of remorse eating you from the inside.

You fought the need to say something, but being so that the painful thoughts plagued your mind, the best choice was to keep quiet until you got home.

Still, you slid a hand on top of his.

You burned to tell him everything that kept you awake at night, you needed him to know what you felt during the days of his radio silence.

"Is everything okay, baby?" Joshua asked, following you out of the elevator and down the hallway to your door. "You've been very quiet."

The more you thought of an answer, the angrier you felt. You bit on the inside of your cheek as you opened the door for him. The twist in your stomach tightening as you crossed the living room, discarding his leather jacket on the chair placed in one corner of your bedroom.

You had no idea if he was still close behind you, the buzzing in your ears worsening as the first hiccup came.

"Baby, tell me what's wrong," you heard him say, a hint of concern lacing his sweet tone.

"You–," you choked on a sob, turning to see his face, the face you wanted to see for days. "You made me believe you weren't coming! To what end? To surprise me?"

You saw Joshua's mouth parting as he searched for words and just as he was about to start explaining himself, your rage made you spurt out words out of your mouth, tears rolling down your cheeks.

"Do you know how fucking bad I felt the whole time?" you demanded, turning away from him when you saw his face contort into a sad frown. "I thought you didn't care enough to be here, do you know how fucked up is that?"

You were standing in front of your dresser, pretending to take off your earrings but the silence from him was killing you, so you turned around again to see him.

Joshua looked at you cautiously for a second, his throat bobbing as it seemed that he too choked on his own words. "I didn't want to give you any false hope by telling you I'd be here when I wasn't sure myself," he said with a low tone, giving you a guilty look. "I tried to get as much work done as possible so I could come see you."

You sniffed, standing with your shoulders drawn back, feeling yourself guarding up again. "Why didn't you at least say something today?" you uttered, tasting the saltiness of your tears that fell on the corners of your lips.

"I've been working from six in the morning," he said, cocking his head to one side. "And then I was on another flight, exhausted so I fell asleep."

"That's a bad excuse, Joshua," you reprimanded with ire blinding you now, taking your high heels to toss them on one corner of your closet.

"All day I've been checking my phone to see if I get anything from you, do you know how that feels?" you were raising your voice now, from the bottled up emotions, the stress and frustration from today.

"Yes. I do, actually."

Joshua looked upwards, releasing a sigh that made his shoulders go slack. He looked like he hated this, to fight with you. He looked the same way he did that night when you both got angry at each other on the rooftop.

You trapped your lower lip between your teeth in an attempt to stop it from quivering and looked away from your boyfriend's face.

"I'm sorry," he said, now looking at you again, sorrow in his eyes as he took a cautious step towards you. "I'm so sorry, baby. I tried to get here as a surprise, yes. But I just couldn't leave without getting work done first and that delayed everything. I couldn't get to your party on time and I'm sorry for it."

As soon as his arms wrapped around you, you hid your face on the crook of his neck. With a strangled sob, you got the scent of his musky cologne, the very distinct smell of his skin as you clung to the white t-shirt he was wearing.

"I'm sorry too," you whispered.

"Sh, it's okay. It's okay," he shushed repeatedly, grabbing your face with his hands and leaned to look in your eyes, face to face. "You have nothing to apologize for, baby. This is on me, I fucked up and I am sorry."

"I shouldn't have yelled at you," you sobbed and quieted down when he pressed his forehead against yours.

"It's okay, it's okay" he replied, swallowing hard. "Yell at me, swear at me, but talk to me, baby. Don't keep it to yourself."

"I was so mad," you mumbled, grabbing his wrists with your hands.

Joshua pulled back, giving you space to breathe. You saw the remorse in his face, his eyebrows knitting together, his big eyes following your mouth and your eyes as you continued to shed tears.

"I thought that you didn't care to be here," you confessed with a tiny hiccup.

"I'm sorry baby, that was the least of my intentions," he replied softly, but you could see the trouble it caused him to hear you say that. "Believe me, I tried to get to your party on time."

"I believe you, Josh," you replied, feeling like you could start crying again. "But I just wish you'd let me know earlier."

A deep frown appeared on his face. "I never wanted to make you feel bad, baby."

Before you could hold rein to your actions, your head tilted, your heart already giving into the big brown eyes that were pleading for you to forgive him.

"I told you that next time I wouldn't be too forgiving," you reminded him, your tone coated with a gentleness that signified your resignation over your anger.

Joshua's gaze softened, lifting a hand to caress your cheek with his long and delicate fingers. "I know, baby. I'm so sorry" he sighed in relief when you suddenly wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in the crook of his neck. "How can I make it up to you?"

"Just..." you whispered, pulling back slightly, hands encircling his neck lightly. "Kiss me."

He looked unsure for a second. As if he wanted to say more, but quickly obliged to your request, seeing that you were seeking something more than an exchange of words. You needed him.

His hand found your chin, grabbing you gently as he leaned closer, swallowing hard before pressing his lips on yours. Your hands cupped the back of his head, urging him to kiss you deeper, harder.

"Baby," he grunted in your mouth. "Don't you think we need to talk more about this?"

"No," you brushed off immediately, using your hands to press on the back of his head, crushing your mouth on his.

But even if he was returning the kiss, you didn't feel him there. You could almost hear his mind reeling.

"Please, Joshua," you sobbed, something so desperate in you that your voice quivered. "Please, baby, just kiss me."

"We need to talk," he responded. "We've been going around in circles with this. We can't solve this by having sex. You know that."

"What are you talking about?" you pulled back, retrieving your hands from his nape.

He looked at you in disbelief for a second. "I know something's wrong," he frowned. "I've known you long enough to notice when you're deflecting."

"Josh," you sighed.

"Baby, you promised," he insisted, his big eyes reading your face.

"What do you want me to say?" you blurted, digging your grave further.

"What's going on?" he asked gently.

Your heart crushed at the look he gave you. Like a lost puppy, trying to chase you, you tried to ignore the sound of his voice breaking a little.

"It's nothing," you whispered. "I've been a little bummed about you leaving—no, not leaving. I just wish you reached out to me more frequently. We talked about this last time! You've been ignoring me and I feel hurt over that."

"I don't do it on purpose," he said with a tired sigh, but he looked guilty. "I try to get all of your messages but the truth is... I'm tired."

Your heart deflated, but you quickly understood that he wasn't talking about you, or your relationship. Joshua meant his life, his career taking off faster than he or you could comprehend.

"Everything is happening so fast, I feel like I haven't had time to breathe," he said with a strangled tone. "I'm sorry, baby. I never meant for you to be affected by this. By me."

You reached out to hold his hand, making his big eyes look back to you. "Why didn't you tell me?" you asked softly.

"I don't want to burden you, bunny," he muttered, squeezing your hand. "But I realize now that it was better to tell you. None of this would've happened if I had."

You used your free hand to push his hair back from his face. "I should've told you sooner too."

The corners of his lips rose slightly. "I guess we're both learning about this, right?"

"I guess we are," you whispered.

"C'mere," he mouthed, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug, one arm around your waist and the other across your back, his hand reaching the back of your head.

His kiss was tender at first, his lips brushing yours softly, his tongue caressing your lower lip, once, twice until you moaned helplessly. Then the kiss deepened, demanding more from each other, your breath hitched as his mouth crushed into yours, tongues meeting with hunger.

Your hands searched for the hem of his white t-shirt, pulling it up clumsily.

Joshua pulled back from the kiss, yanking his t-shirt from his body in one movement and tossed it to one side blindly. Then you heard him inhale sharply when your hands ran over his toned pecs, to his lats, feeling the hard muscle, his soft skin.

You kissed his mouth, his cheek, a hand caressing his long hair as you moved to kiss his eyelids, standing on your tiptoes to reach him.

Joshua laughed softly, his hands squeezing your waist with urge. "Sit back, baby," he pushed you to the edge of your bed.

You obediently did so, but hooked your fingers on the belt of his jeans, pulling him towards you. You heard a gasp that resembled the sound he makes when he smiles.

"Oh," he blurted. "Baby, slow down."

You were placing open mouthed kisses on his tummy, a soft moan escaped you when you caught the familiar taste of his skin. Your hands caressed him as your kisses trailed up his pecs, licking one nipple first.

"Mmn," he hummed softly, his hand cupping the side of your head when your teeth grazed the underside of his pectoral, playfully landing more kisses around the sensitive area of his darkened bud.

You took your time doing the same exploration on the other side of his chest. The tip of your tongue lapping on his nipple, tasting his skin, the scent of his cologne.

You suckled on his skin harshly, hearing a soft grunt reverberating on the chest you were leaving marks on.

"Lie back, sweetheart," he urged when you detached your mouth from his beautiful skin, now marked with reddened spots.

You crawled on the bed, watching him follow you, pressing one knee after the other, looking at you with a gaze darkened with lust and love.

Joshua pressed his body against yours, trapped now between him and your mattress. He resumed kissing you deeply, his hand crept from your face, down to your neck, caressing your shoulder, searching for your hand to lace his fingers with yours.

"Joshua," you mumbled into his mouth as he gave you shallow kisses, moaning softly in your lips. "Baby."

"Mm?" he responded, kissing your mouth as if he wanted to melt into you.

"I want you to do something for me," you said, your breath catching when he flipped your body and his on the bed, so now you were straddling him. Some of the seams of the skirt of your dress ripped, and you pulled it upwards, uncovering up to your butt.

"Anything," he breathed, the pads of his pointer and middle finger grazing your cheek, holding you still as he placed feathery kisses on your lips.

You pulled back slightly, looking at the beautiful features of his face. "This is going to sound crazy."

The soft lines between his eyebrows showed when he frowned ever so slightly. "What?" he asked, his eyes reading your every expression.

You fidgeted with the long strands of his hair, looking for the words to express what you wanted without sounding ridiculous.

"Do you want to take control, baby?" he guessed, moving his head to one side while reading your face with his eyes. "Is that what you want?"

"No, no," you giggled a bit from how far off his idea was from yours. "It's quite the opposite really..." you brushed the studded piercing with your thumb, making his eyelids flutter.

"Tell me what you want, bunny," he whispered.

"I want you to be... hard on me, Josh," you asked, positioning your knees firmly on the bed to press your crotch on the hard bulge beneath his pants.

A low grunt coiled in his throat, his hands sliding down your body to grasp your hips. "Why?" he grunted, his frown not relaxing.

"I just want it," you pressed down again, moving your crotch against his hardened cock, the seam of his jeans rubbing against the sensitive bud of your cunt. "Please?"

"Mmn," he hummed seemingly pondering over your request, his hand came up to hold your chin, pressing open mouthed kisses on your lips. "Don't you want me to spoil you tonight, baby?"

"You can spoil me by being a little mean to me," you teased, a grin appearing on your lips, which he kissed right away.

"That's something I never thought you'd say, baby," he admitted with a breathy chuckle that you felt in your mouth.

"Please, Josh?" you pleaded, putting on your best puppy eyes.

"Do you think you deserve it, baby?" he asked, his voice merely a rasp.

You took some consideration over his words and then nodded slowly, mouthing, "Yeah, I do."

"Have you been bad, sweetheart?" his tone had recovered, now waking with the usual tone he uses when he's domming you.

"Yeah, I think I have been," you responded with a sweet tone of your own.

His pretty pouty lips stretched in a small smirk. "Mmn, my baby was bad while I was away?" he purred, his dark eyes glimmering under the soft lights of your bedroom lamps.

"Maybe a little," you replied cheekily.

"A little?" he toyed, giggling a little. "If you were only a little, I don't see why I should go hard on you."

"Mm, because I want you to," you replied, pouting at him now. "Come on, baby. I can take it."

He appeared to be considering your proposition, weighing in your words, the look on your face, the determination he probably saw in you and with a final booping of your nose with the tip of his finger he nodded.

"Anything that you don't like, anything you feel wrong, you can tell me," he promised. "You know that, right?"

"I know, Josh." you smiled meekly at him, caressing his dark locks.

"That's my baby," he whispered, the ghost of a smile on his lips as he met them with your own.

You knew why he said this every time he dommed you. Within all of the nights that you have spent under his control, though not many, you've gotten a sense that he said this because without your consent, none of it would work.

It was simple. Joshua would go as far as you would allow him to go.

His hand left the side of your thigh and found your neck, the pads of his fingers caressing your jawline as he brought your face down so he could kiss you.

"Why have you been bad, baby?"

A deep remorseful feeling settled in the pit of your stomach. You knew he'd try to understand why you wanted him to punish you. By now it was some form of therapy for the two of you, letting it out on sex, talking it out, reconciliations during after care.

But this time, instead of you dodging your answers, Joshua gave it right for you.

"Have you been losing trust in me lately?" he asked, his tone soft and so calculated that you had to pull back to take a look at the features of his face. "Is that how you've been bad?"

"Yeah," you whispered, waiting for his reaction, expecting to see him turning this around and trying to talk you out of the situation. "Are you mad at me?"

"No baby, of course not," he reassured, drawing in a breath as his hand grasping the side of your neck pulled you in for another long, wet kiss.

"But, don't you think I need to be punished?" you asked with an overly sweet and innocent tone.

"Is that why you want me to go hard on you?" he growled as you decided to start grinding on him again. "You want me to, god, slow down, baby."

You immediately slowed the sway of your hips on him, deciding to ease your weight on him, moving your crotch ever so slightly on his. "Yeah," you replied, pressing down on his crotch, angling your cunt against the seam of his jeans.

"Do you feel like you need to be punished, bunny?" he leaned his head in the direction of his shoulder.

"I do, Josh," you mewled with a sigh, pressing your crotch on him slowly.

"Then that's all I need," he growled in your mouth, cupping the back of your head to capture your lips with his own with a gasp, kissing you fervently.

His fingers tangled into the hair growing on the base of your head, fisting it as the kiss turned into a hard, heated one. You felt a hand searching the chest of your dress, then you understood that he was getting rid of the brooch Jeonghan gave you.

Joshua tossed it aside, your gift landing somewhere on the bed. "I need you out of this," he grunted in your mouth, his fist scrunching the skirt of your dress, motioning it upwards.

"Help me with the zipper?" you asked with a nervous whisper.

"Yeah," he replied, fingers swiftly getting zipping down your dress.

You climbed off of him and the bed altogether, removing your dress with a playfulness to your movements. Joshua propped himself on his elbows to watch you reveal a new set of lingerie, the pastel blue contrasting with the thigh high black stockings.

"Do you like it?" you mumbled sweetly, lifting your arms delicately before you did a half twirl for him, showing him the back of your panties, that exposed your buttcheeks.

Joshua sighed in delight, pushing himself off the bed and walked to you. "I love it, baby," he replied.

"Do you want me to leave it on?" you asked, as you reached out to get the rest of his clothes, undoing his belt with shaky fingers.

"For now, yeah," he replied gruffly, watching you zip his pants down, tucking your hands beneath the stretchy fabric of his black boxers to yank them down and he helped you remove them by stepping out of his clothes.

Once he was wholly naked, you marveled in all his beauty, the proud nakedness in which he stood in front of you.

A fingertip dipped gently in his belly button, making him smile fondly at you. But the smile faltered when you trailed down, feeling the soft hairs of the happy trail that led to his pubic hair.

Your fingers encircled around the girth of his cock, already hard for you. The skin of his shaft was soft, interrupted only by the vein on the underside and the ridges before the bulbous, rosy brown head. You pumped him slowly, gently, your thumb gathering the precum gathering in his slit.

You sank to your knees, casting a look up at him. Your eyes locked with his as you pressed a soft kiss on the tip of his cock, licking your lips, tasting his precum in the process.

His hand brushed your hair from one side of your head. "Baby," he rasped. "Oh, god, baby," he moaned deeply when you took his cockhead into your mouth, wrapping your lips around it, tongue pressing on him as you pushed your head forward.

You slowly bobbed your head back and forth, taking him an inch further at a time, swirling your tongue around his cockhead every time you pulled your mouth back on him.

"Fuck, baby," he whispered gruffly, closing his eyes briefly to then use his hands to pull your head back. "Just like that."

You lapped your tongue on his cockhead, running the soft part of the underside of your tongue around him as you moved your head back, a soft smacking noise created by your lips when you kissed his tip.

"Do you want to fuck my mouth, Josh?" you asked using a sweet tone, looking up to his eyes, which darkened with lust and fascination over you.

"Do you still remember how to do this, baby?" he asked, grabbing his drool coated cock with one hand, the other parking firmly on the back of your head, holding you steady.

Your eyes looked up to him, his facial expression controlled, measured as he smirked at you when you instinctively parted your mouth for him. "Good girl."

You pulled out your tongue, letting him rest his heavy cock on top of it. When you heard a soft grunt escape him, you closed your lips around his thick girth, simulating an open kiss, pulling your mouth back and creating a soft, smacking sound on the reddened tip of his.

"I'm going to move on your mouth," he warned with a soft tone, removing his hand from his cock to hold your head now with both of his hands. "Tap on me if you want me to stop."

Your eyes dropped from his face, to the faint film sweat trailing down his neck, between his pecs and onto the hard muscles of his abdomen that clenched softly when he started pushing his cock down your throat.

A moan got muffled by his cock in your mouth. You remembered to tell yourself to relax your tongue under the heavy length of him, giving him access to fuck your mouth freely.

"That's it baby," he whispered when he felt your mouth go lax. "You always take my cock so fucking well."

Your eyes were following the movements of his body, relishing on the way he kept himself controlled, slowly pacing himself, pushing an inch farther with each thrust until you nearly brushed his soft pubic hair with the tip of your nose.

One hand moved from the back of your head to the side of your face, his thumb resting on top of your cheekbone as he commanded your eyes up to his.

"Breathe, bunny," he directed with a gentleness that betrayed his following movements.

With a gasp, he snapped his head back, ramming his cock inside your mouth. Your hands flew to hold onto the hard muscle of his thighs, gagging around his girth, the tip reaching the back of your mouth, hitting the spot repeatedly.

The hand that was still on the back of your head, holding you by your hair forced you back, to give himself ample space to push his cock farther, so that he could hear you gag around him, feel the muscles of your throat constricting around his tip.

"Fuck," he breathed, closing his eyes to the vision of you taking him so obediently. "Mmph," he let out a puff of air.

You responded with a moan of your own. Watching him screwing his eyes shut, forcing himself to keep his pace steady, slow for you instead of tearing your mouth open with his cock. Even though it was exactly what you wanted.

"Oh, god," he groaned, with his head still tilted back, his throat bobbing as he swallowed hard. "Baby—fuck. Baby you feel so, so good."

You let out a whiny noise, making him lower his gaze at you.

"I'm close," he breathed, a grunt coming out of him as he swallowed hard again. His finger digging on the soft skin of your cheek as he said. "And you are taking it all, bunny."

You moaned in a half confirmation sound as best as you could, still gagging on him, tears running down your cheeks uncontrollably, drool dripping down the corners of your lips and onto your chin.

"Good girl," he gasped softly, closing his eyes with a pleased grin on his face.

Then he lost the grin when his mouth parted, his brow furrowing gently before he moaned deeply. You held in a breath through your nose, swallowing the ropes of cum spurting out of his cock and down your throat.

Joshua had stopped his thrusts, as he came with deep breaths and tiny grunts, keeping you still for him while sighing: "Goooood fucking girl."

But he pulled out too quickly, sloppily. You noticed it was on purpose by his controlled move: using the hand on your face to push back your chin, forcing your mouth open and removing his cock from your throat.

You choked, coughed and breathed in, all within two seconds. Hot tears sprinted from your eyes as you remained on his firm grasp, keeping your head leaned back.

"Breathe. Breathe through your nose," he whispered softly, using the pad of his thumb to gather the cum and drool that you had spat back on your chin, sliding it back to your mouth. "Thaaat's it, baby. Slowly."

You breathed in desperately, heaving almost; vision going blurry in and out as more hot tears kept on falling on your cheeks.

"You did so well, bunny," he muttered, a cheeky grin falling on the features of his face.

His large hand released your hair, sliding on the side of your face, cupping it fully. You closed your eyes, a sigh escaping you because of the tenderness of his touch, feeling it cause your skin to prickle.

"Want me to make you feel good, sweetheart?"

Panting, you raised your gaze to see him. A cold shudder coursed through you when you saw his controlled manner, the enjoyment in his dark glimmering eyes.

"Please?" you mumbled, and upon speaking you had to gulp hard and clear your throat.

"Sit on the bed for me," he nodded behind you and you rose to your feet, quickly sitting on the edge of your bed. A question arose in your mind as to what were your boyfriend's next moves.

"I love it when you use these," he mumbled, running the pads of his fingers over the lace band of your high knee stockings. "You looked so beautiful tonight, baby."

"Thank you, Josh," you beamed at him, the gesture making him cup your cheek, leaning to get a quick kiss from your lips.

His hand slid to your back, skin prickling as his fingers unfastened the clasp of your pastel blue bra. The other hand grabbed your bra by its middle, pulling it from your body with one swift move, leaving your tits bare for his view.

Joshua wasted no time as his hands moved to the band of your pretty lace panties. You propped your hands behind you, leaning back slightly as he slid your panties down your thighs, unhooking one ankle after the other.

Then it was his turn to drop to his knees, your bed was high enough so he only leaned his head between your thighs, motioning them over with his large hands and you placed them each on his shoulders, locking your ankles, feet resting comfortably on his back.

"I've missed you so much, bunny," he muttered, littering your inner thighs with kisses, reaching your mound before angling your thighs open for him, his tongue lapping between your folds, giving them a broad stroke.

"Mmnph, Josh," you mewled, hands flying to tangle your fingers in his hair, following the movements of his head as he gave your cunt generous strokes with his tongue. "Joshua—fuck, baby, yes, yes."

The tip of his tongue swirled around your bud, gently tugging at it with his lips before sucking on it lightly. Your thighs flinched, a moan spilling from your lips when he stuck to flick at your clit with the tip of his tongue.

He continued teasing your clit like this until you came, fast and loud, fingers clenching on his long hair, crying out his name. But he didn't stop there, instead, you felt his lips wrap around your now swollen bud, starting to suckle at it gently.

"Josh," you called, propping yourself on your elbows. "Baby, I need you now," you mewled, but he completely ignored you.

He started to suck on your clit harder, moaning against your clit as you came on his mouth again, writing desperately, making his hands hold you down to the bed.

"Were you bad while I was away, baby?" he asked softly.

You were breathing slowly, coming down from your high with trembling limbs and barely able to utter a word when a firm slap came down your clit.

"I asked you a question," he rasped, ignoring your loud and very lewd yelp. He landed another slap, using his four fingers on your clit.

"Fuck," you breathed, flinching on your bed when you received the intense feeling of his hand clashing with your sensitive clit. "Yeah, I have."

Joshua rose to his feet, and you couldn't help but feast your eyes over his beautiful body. The hickeys on his chest were flaring red, your eyes trailing down to see his cock fully hard again.

"You've been having fun while I was away, baby?" he purred, dipping his fingers on your core to then push the pads of his fingers over your swollen clit, covering it with your arousal.

"F-fun?" you squeaked pathetically.

"Fucking yourself with your toys, with your hands... thinking of someone who isn't me, perhaps?" he cocked his head to one side.

You paused, feeling your heart sink down to your stomach. And before you could grasp at the evident trap in his question, another harsh slap landed right on your clit.

"No, no!" you replied as quickly as you could. "I'd never do that!"

"Mn? Then how have you been bad, baby?" he asked, pinching your clit with his fingers, giving it pulsating pinches over and over before delivering another slap.

The intense feeling your pussy suffered made you convulse. "Fuck! That's too much, baby," you said in a fucked out tone, recoiling when he swiftly slapped your clit again.

"That's not my name, bunny," he growled, a devilish smirk appearing on his face.

"Sorry," you slurred out.

"Did you imagine someone else playing with this pussy, baby?" he continued with his little game of questions, his honeyed voice sending a chill through your body.

"No! I wouldn't—I'd never," you gasped pathetically, your legs beginning to shake from the lack of support.

"Did you wish someone else fucked you?"

The ghost of a smirk crowned his lips, the studded eyebrow twitching up slightly when you didn't answer. You held in a breath when you saw Joshua grabbing his cock with one hand, guiding it to your entrance.

A pathetic mewl spilled from your lips when he sheathed his cock inside you in one go, holding your legs with his arms, hands parked on your hips as he fucked you slowly at first.

"Oh, god," you sighed, the bite of his cock stretching your walls felt mind-numbingly good that you barely had any control over yourself.

"What's that, bunny?" he gasped, the features of his face riddled with pleasure too.

"Josh," you whimpered, rendered utterly useless, all you could focus on was his cock, stretching your walls like nothing else. "Please, faster, fuck me faster, please."

Joshua blinked slowly at you, there was no denying the love in his eyes. But he didn't give you what he wanted, he continued to push his cock inside you slowly, enjoying the pulsating of your walls around him from all the pleasure building up, anticipating another climax.

"Do you want someone else playing with what's mine?" he asked in a hollow tone, his usual sweetness robbed by the strain and the focus he kept over the calculated pace of his thrusts.

You felt your brow furrowing in confusion, a light gasp leaving your mouth before you could even think of a response.

"Did you miss me, princess?" he asked, his movements picking some speed, fucking you with shallow thrusts, testing you before starting to plow on you mercilessly.

The change was so sudden you were snapped from your quiet confusion.

"Yes, Josh! O-of course," you gasped, your hands searching for something to hold onto. His thrusts became so brutal that your entire body was pushed on your bed, making your tits bounce and your breath catch.

"Mmn," he hummed before letting a puffy sigh out of his lips, then he tilted his head back, eyelids fluttering as he moaned deeply. "Fuuuck," he rasped as he came inside you with hard thrusts, his mouth parting slightly.

A chill coursed through you. Joshua didn't care if you came with him, or before him, he emptied himself inside you without a warning, his face torn with pleasure as he did so. And even if you felt close to your own climax, you couldn't care less as well.

Joshua stopped pushing his cock inside you, shuddering slightly when he pulled out of you not a minute after. His cum dripped out of you helplessly, leaving a warm trail as it slid slowly from your entrance.

"God, baby, you're so messy," he reproached with a soft tone.

"Mm?" you cluelessly looked at him. "Fuck!" you gasped when his fingers swiftly picked up his own cum, pushing it back to your core.

Then he took his long fingers between your lips, inserting them into your mouth. You tasted the salt of his cum and your own arousal, making you inhale deeply because of the sudden intrusion of his fingers deep in your tongue.

"Good girl," he whispered, pulling out his two fingers to dip them into your fluttering core again.

"Josh," you mewled, squirming when the pads of his fingers played with the cum dripping out from you.

"Shhh," he shushed you softly, taking his fingers to your mouth again, smiling when you sucked them clean diligently. "You're being such a good girl right now. So good for me."

"Babe," you breathed out when you were able to speak again. "God, Joshua," his fingers were inside you again, pushing his cum back into your cunt, massaging your walls in the process.

"Yes, bunny?" he replied when you called his name. "What do you want?"

"More," you mewled pathetically. "Please."

You had realized that his other hand was working on himself, his fist pumping his cock slowly, getting himself hard at the sight of you dripping in cum, tears, drool, legs shaking, asking for more.

Joshua tilted his head slightly to one side. "More?" he smiled cheekily, introducing a third finger inside you.

"Joshua," you whined over the squelching sounds caused by his fingers plunging in and out of you. "Don't tease me."

But he continued pushing his fingers in, the pads of his fingers pressing on your front walls, making you squirm in the bed, a hand scrunching on the covers of your bed.

"Please?" you gasped lewdly. "Please, Josh, you know what I want, please."

Joshua tilted his head back, cocking the studded eyebrow, looking at you with so much awe, smiling mischievously when you started pleading for more. His fist continued pumping on his cock, picking up some speed that made him take a deep breath, resisting his own pleasure to tease you some more.

"Joshua, please!" you whined, trying to resist the intense feeling that his fingers pushing on your wall caused, thinking that he was aiming to get you to tap out.

But you resisted, though, marveling over the controlled movements of his body, how he kept the pace of his hands steady, without pausing to rest.

"God, Joshua!" you yelped loudly when his fingers shifted, pressing on the right spot, causing you to flinch. Your other hand flew to hold onto your bed covers too.

"Yeah? Right there?" he asked, to then bite on his lower lip, watching you as you continued to writhe desperately, moaning for more.

"Please, please," you mewled over and over, now pleading for him to continue massaging on your glorious spot.

Joshua showed you a wolfish grin when you quickly switched your pleas. "You're gonna come, baby?" he purred with a mocking tone. "Aw, over some fingers? And here I thought you were begging to have my cock."

"Josh, please, god, please," you breathed, your jaw going slack when the plunging of his fingers inside you turned more forceful.

You cried out pathetically, screwing your eyes shut to let some tears run down your temples. A spurt of warm liquid came out of you, making you whimper dramatically and open your eyes to see his hand covered in your mess.

"You're making a mess, baby," Joshua sighed in awe while watching you squirt on his hand.

He grabbed his own t-shirt that was discarded on one corner of your bed and gently pressed it against your skin, cleaning all traces of his and your arousal.

"Mmph," you hummed with a sigh, propping up your body with your elbows on your bed. "Joshua, please. Fuck me, pl-please, fuck me."

He tossed the ruined t-shirt to a corner of your bedroom and nodded at the bed. "Move back for me, baby," he instructed, climbing on the bed after you.

His hands reached out to grab your legs by the back of your knees, pulling your body to the middle of the bed with a yank. Then Joshua pushed your legs up to your chest, thighs squeezing your tits as he leaned over you.

"Joshua, please, no teasing," you pleaded when he grabbed his cock with one hand, running the tip across your wet folds to see the reaction on your face when he pushed the tip in your entrance slowly.

"Tell me you want it," he said, his studded eyebrow quirking up slightly.

"I want it, Joshua," you replied instantly. "Please, I want it."

"Tell me you want me," he growled, pushing his cock inside you, inch by inch, stuffing you full, but ever so slowly.

"Please!" you gasped, sounding pathetic, your hands searching his shoulders to hold onto him, to urge him completely inside you. "I want you, Joshua, please, please."

Joshua pushed his chest against the back of your thighs, slipping his length inside you to his hilt. His hands shifted on your sides, one to support his own weight and the other to grab your chin, forcing your eyes on him.

"Gah,"you choked up, tears brimming in your eyes when he started pushing his cock inside you, his thrusts fucking you deeper than ever before. "Joshua, Joshua..."

"Yeah, baby. That's my name," he groaned softly, his brow furrowing with some strain. His hand left your chin, his fingers curling on the bed covers, as if he were trying with all of his strength not to lose his control on you.

"Hmmn," you mewled when he instantly reached a spot inside you that made pleasure course through your whole body like a bolt of lightning.

"Do you like how I make you feel?" he said through a raspy breath.

You felt the features of your face contort with the confusion that flashed in your mind, but you nodded nonetheless. "Yeah, it's you, Josh," you mewled. "It's all you."

Joshua kept his thrusts steady, fucking you deep and slowly. His eyes trained on your face as you continued to breath out lewd moans, your mouth parted, eyebrows knitted.

"That's my girl," he praised, a grunt coiling in his throat as his thrusts became more desperate. "My girl."

"Yours," you whispered entrancingly. "I'm yours only, Josh."

"You're mine," he blurted with a ragged breath.

You nodded, unable to utter a word. His thrusts were robbing the air out of you, ramming his cock in, plunging inside you so hard that you were reduced to lewd gasps, hot tears spilling from your eyes.

Joshua screwed his eyes shut for a second, a sharp breath leaving him as his hips slammed into your body, for a second that was all you heard, the sounds of skin slapping together combined with your ragged gasps, the sound of your bed creaking as he kept fucking you into the mattress.

A vein had started to pop on his forehead, his eyes were glistening but he kept them trained on yours. The beautiful features of his face went lax with lust, making him moan, the sound reverberating against your body.

For a second, you just looked at each other, so mad for each other, there were no words either of you could exchange to express what you felt.

"Bunny," he gasped with urgency. "Come for me."

You nodded, a hand searching his face, cupping his chin as you slowly gave into the pleasure blooming inside your body. Joshua turned to kiss the palm of your hand, a gesture so tender that betrayed the animalistic pace to which he was fucking you, making you his.

"I'm coming, 'm—Joshua!" you gasped as you came undone under him, pleasure flooding inside you, taking over every part of your body. Your orgasm hit you so hard you even felt it on your face, tingling in your cheeks, making you close your eyes.

Until you heard a gasp, Joshua came inside you a couple of seconds after you, emptying himself with shallow thrusts. But he didn't relent there, he lowered your legs immediately, clashing his mouth on yours.

Joshua eased his body on top of you, pressing his chest against yours to kiss you deeply, moaning in your mouth as he stopped thrusting his cum inside you sloppily.

Chests heaving, you wrapped him in your arms as he appeared to be blinking slowly, dropping his head in the crook of your neck to come down off his high. His weight was almost crushing you, but you welcomed the pressure from it, the warmth, the scent of his hair and his skin.

You ran the pads of your fingers on the line of his back, feeling him shudder hard but didn't protest against it. "I love you," you whispered.

Joshua didn't respond at first, he continued breathing hard on the curve where your jawline and your neck meet, pressing languid kisses on your skin every two seconds.

His hand crept up from your cheek to the back of your head, then he shifted on top of you to give you a shallow kiss on your lips. "I love you too, bunny."

You were a mess, your skin pricked where your tears had left a trail, your limbs were shaking beneath his weight, you felt a wet tingle where his and your body met.

"You were so good, baby," he whispered, his thumb caressing your cheek as he continued giving you shallow kisses. "Let me take care of you now, okay?" he pulled out of you, drawing a small groan from your mouth.

What happened next was nothing out of routine for you. He started the shower and carried you in bridal style, being that your legs were still shaking badly.

When you got back to the bedroom, he offered himself to towel dry your hair after you put on your bunny pyjamas. So you were sitting on the bed, Joshua was carefully pressing a towel around your hair for some minutes until you looked over your shoulder, and told him to stop.

He looked so tired, but focused on drying your hair, brushing it with his long fingers with so much care, sighing deeply.

"Baby, let's go to sleep, okay?" you offered sweetly.

"Yeah, okay," he whispered, getting up from your bed to discard the towel.

"I threw your t-shirt in the washing machine," you informed him as you crawled beneath the bed covers on your designated side of the bed.

You looked at your boyfriend, crossing the bedroom to slide his body beside yours, immediately wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer to him.

"Thank you, sweetheart," he said tiredly.

You pressed your chest against him, reaching his pouty lips with your own for a tender kiss. "You don't have to thank me for that," you sighed, caressing his cheekbones with your fingertips. "Maybe you should consider leaving some clothes here. If you want to, obviously."

He pulled back slightly, eyeing you with curiosity. "O-okay, I will," he smiled softly.

For a second, you marveled at the sight of him and returned the smile.

"Or you could also consider moving in, when you get back from work. If... you want to," you breathed nervously, your eyes shifting from his face, unable to keep them locked with his.

Joshua didn't reply as fast as you initially thought he would. You almost thought you had said something crazy, something so insanely out of place for you that had left him speechless.

But he just looked at you fondly. A small sigh left him when his smile broadened.

"I'd love that, baby," he replied warmly.

"Okay," you whispered, reaching for his lips again.

What you intended for a sweet and tender kiss turned into a deep, hungry one in a matter of seconds. Joshua grunted in your mouth, a hand cupping your cheek as his tongue lapped on your lower lip, making you sigh a moan.

"Marry me," he blurted, his lips brushing yours in the process.

You laughed lazily in his mouth. "Okay."

"I mean it," he breathed, kissing the apple of your cheek, your eyelid, then an eyebrow, littering kisses all over your face.

"Baby," you protested. "You need to calm down."

"No," he growled, cupping your cheek with one hand. "I'm crazy about you. I want you with me in every way possible."

"Sleep first, baby boy," you teased. "We'll talk about it tomorrow."

Joshua rolled his eyes at your teasing, but he leaned in, giving you a soft kiss before you turned your back to his chest for him to hug you, fitting his body to the shape of yours.

You exhaled, pleased with the warmth exuding from his half naked body cuddling you, an arm over your waist, his breath caressing your neck, until,

"Baby," Joshua called softly, drawing a breath through his nose that denoted how tired he really was. "Would you feel better if you came along with me? On tour?"

"What are you talking about?" you asked, turning over on the bed to look at his face.

Joshua repositioned his head beneath his fist, lying now on his side. His free hand searched yours to lace his fingers with you. "I know with me being so busy, traveling and working, I've been making you feel a little neglected. I don't want to make you feel like this, I..." he looked to the corner of the room mindlessly, gathering his thoughts. "I want you close to me."

There were dark circles under his eyes, his lips were slightly chapped on the corners. But he kept his gaze trained on your face, there was a gentle calmness in him, just as the night he asked you to be his wife.

"We live very different lives, Josh," you whispered carefully, selecting your words. "I can't move around while writing a book. I kind of need stability to work."

"I don't want you to feel lonely," he said, his voice breaking a little when he uttered the last word.

"Well, then we just have to find a way we can make this work," you muttered softly. "I know that you don't want to make me feel neglected but your actions say the opposite."

"I know," he whispered, nodding with his head slowly. "I'm going to fix it, I promise."

"I'm going to need more than that, Josh," you mumbled, a small, cheeky smile appearing on your face.

His big dark eyes looked worried a second before he caught on your playfulness. "Yeah? And what would that be?"

"I'm going to need about a hundred kisses from you," you replied, your heart crushing over the smile that drew on his face.

"Just a hundred?" he taunted, his hand leaving yours and finding the crook of your neck, holding you gently as he leaned over your face to press a soft kiss, after the other, humming happily.

"Maybe two hundred."

"I can do more," he mumbled with a singsong tone.

"Three thousand, then."

Joshua chuckled breathily. "We're from hundreds to thousands that quickly?"

"Only if you want me to forgive you," you replied playfully between his tender kisses that he pressed against your lips.

"What else do you want?" he mumbled, his sweet voice laced with some raspiness.

"I want french toast for breakfast tomorrow," you said after a long moment of thought.

"You got it, Ms. Hong," he replied with a small smile, looking at you with such tenderness that you almost felt like sobbing. "What else?"

"I want you to take me out for a date," you said, now your tone sounding meek and tiny. "You're all talk with the Ms. Hong thing, but haven't taken me on an official date, yet, Mr. Hong."

"I will take you on a date," he muttered between kisses that were turning into more prolonged ones. "On several dates. For the rest of your life."

You cupped his cheek with one hand, and he ceased his shower of kisses to look into your eyes.

"I want you, Joshua," you whispered, trying to convey all your love into a couple of words.

"I want you too, bunny," he replied, his voice rendered into a mere whisper. "Forever."

✮ LONG AUTHOR'S NOTE READ IT 🗣️

hi there my lovelies!! ε(｡•᎑•`)っ♡

WE MADE IT! so let me tell you all a little story. when i started writing city lights, i only intended to write four chapters. but some of you guys convinced me to make it longer and i could write 8 chapters in total!! and i'm so glad i did cause i love writing long fics (as you probably noticed)

chapter 8 got soooo long and i'm sorry for having to split it haha. i guess introducing another main character into the mix does that huh? but there was sooooo many things i left out from this one! maybe i'll write them in the future!

I WILL BE POSTING A FINAL CHAPTER TO CITY LIGHTS SOON, but i would like you to take this chapter as the wrap up for the main story, given that the next chapter will be taking a turn for the dynamic between joshua and bunny. does that make sense? 👀

okay that's it for me. i love you all, drink water, use sunscreen, take your vitamins, your birth control pills or whatever it is that you do, take care of yaselves, i love youuuuuu ◕⩊◕

toodles

part 9

buy me a coffee? 🩵👉🏻👈🏻

© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.

[chronically-ghosted]

i crawl home to her

rating: 18+ explicit

pairing: dieter bravo x f!reader

word count: 8.2K

summary: you bring dieter home to meet your family over the holidays.

warnings/tags: discussions of food, mentions of weight gain, brief biphobia, bad family dynamics, hiding parts of yourself to make yourself more palatable, dom!Dieter when his type-A girlfriend needs him to, smut in places it shouldn’t be, a family can be two people, bad jokes, mentions of marriage and kids, one light booty smack, peep the super obvious bob's burgers reference, minimal edited, you can pry the image of dieter in ugg's from my cold dead hands

a/n: i've caved and finally added to the evergrowing pile of "Pedro boy fucks you in your childhood home". @sp00kymulderr i told you i'd get it out today -- it might be tomorrow for you, but it's not yet midnight! i present to you part 2 of merry thanksgiving nonsense2023!

🤍Masterlist

You nearly miss the exit off the gray-slushy highway because you’re trying to remember Aunt Gayle’s food allergies. 

And Uncle Rick’s preferred way of taking his coffee in the morning.

And the right detergent to use when washing your niece’s clothes, or else your sister will come after you with a hatchet. 

“Baby, you’re gnawing your fingernails bloody.” 

You blink, surprised to find your hand anywhere near your mouth, the other white-knuckling the steering wheel, and to your enormous embarrassment, he was right – you’d pulled up several hangnails, leaving tiny pink gouges, right under your immaculate holiday nails you got for the express purpose of looking presentable in all the inevitable Insta photos your sister demands every year. 

“Fuck,” you mutter and curl your fingers into your fist as if to hide temptation. From the passenger’s seat, Dieter frowns.

“Twizzler to make it better?” He spins the red, bendy candy enticingly. Your mind suddenly flashes back to the time you both got way too high on his new bong and he made the exact same motions with his dick. You had never laughed so hard in your life. 

The red candy whipping around in a circle, you groan into the steering wheel. 

“I’m turning around. This was a terrible idea.”

“What are you so nervous about?” Dieter half-way laughs. He pulls his Ugg-stuffed feet off the dashboard and sits up. Crumbs from the Starbucks Christmas sugar cookie spill off his “Kris Kingle My Jingle” sweater and onto the seat, but it’s those fucking earnest, curious eyes that always seem to rock your world. You occasionally don’t like to be touched when you’re stressed, so out of the corner of your eye, you see his hand waver before falling back in his lap. “It’s just dinner.” 

“Yeah, but it’s holiday dinner with my family. They’re all so judgy and mean and every time I come home for more than twenty-four hours, I’m reminded exactly why I fucked off to California.”

“Maybe they’re jealous you’re a hot shot director,” Dieter suggests. “Or that you have a ruggedly handsome movie star boyfriend.” Eyebrow raised, he twirls the Twizzler again and manages to bite it out of the air. You half-way expected it to smack him in the face. “They know I’m coming, right?”

You bite your lip, the last phone call with your mother still achingly heavy in your chest.

“You know what she asked when I told her I was bringing home the one and only Dieter Bravo as my boyfriend to meet my family?” You don’t need to look at him to see the furrow in his brow, the slight curve in his shoulders. You prop your elbow up against the window, rubbing your forehead with your fingers. “She asked if it was a career move. If I was dating you to get ahead in the industry . . . like I’m trying to sleep my way to the top.”

There’s a fraught silence. You listen to the wheels churn dirty black snow so you don’t have to look at him. 

“Then why in the world would you start with my dumb ass?”

Despite yourself and despite what’s coming, you smile. But you fight it, wrapping your lip up between your teeth. So he continues:

“If you really want to make it big, you gotta date someone at least forty years older than you. So, what? We’re talking seventy. But, wow, think of the money. Bet he has his dick dripped in gold just to keep it hard–,”

“Dieter!” You swat at him, smile too big to contain, and he grins, grabbing you by the wrist. “That’s terrible!”

“But I made you laugh, didn’t I?”

You smirk. “Barely. More like ha ha than a big chuckle.” 

He nips your palm, the rough hair on his chin scraping the soft skin. 

By some minor miracle and a forcible act of God, your mother is allowing you two to share a bedroom. Not out of respect for your relationship, of course, but there is simply not enough room to spare. You watch those perfect lips imprint themselves in the cup of your hand and you’ve never been more thrilled to have to share a double bed. God, you cannot be this wet before you have to look your mother in the eye. You retract your hand with a breathy exhale. 

“We don’t have to stay long,” Dieter says, a weight to his gaze that proves he hasn’t completely blown off your concern. He twists his body in the seat and crosses his arms, his shoulder pressed into the seat. He watches you with his head against the headrest. “I hate seeing you like this.” 

“I’m already on thin ice because we’re just staying two days.” You shake your head. “My sister and her family have already been there since Monday and plan to stay the rest of the week.” You inhale, hold, and exhale until you can feel your shoulders drop. “It’s just . . . I’ve worked so hard to make something of my life, to be someone I can be proud of, and it just doesn’t matter to them. They want me to marry a banker or something, and quit my job to do cutesy family blogging on Instagram. They’ve never, ever liked the real me.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see something come over Dieter’s face. Not annoyance, or irritation, but as if someone kick started his brain. But it passes and he brushes the back of your hand resting over the gearshift with his fingers. 

“I like the real you,” he says quietly. “In fact, I really, really, really like the real you. I gotta keep you around. Who else is gonna remember the name of the best Chinese food place when I’m high?” 

Dieter is sweet, knows the wonders his smile can accomplish, with a twinkle in his eyes. A bit crude, a little distractible, but ultimately, well-meaning. However, he seemed physically incapable of maintaining sincerity. Which in the beginning, was also cute, but now, in a moment of crisis, it was boyish in a way that made you worried. A little scared. Like too much pressure and he’d break.

Is Dieter Bravo someone you could rely on? 

History says no. 

So, maybe you’d just carry everything. 

You smile at him and return your hand to the steering wheel.

“I’m not going anywhere.” 

The car squeals as it stops in the driveway, wheels crunching the cold ice. You look up at your childhood home with the same unease and trepidation that’s been there since childhood.

“Go let ‘em know we’re here,” Dieter says as he unbuckles his belt. There’s still crumbs in the knit of his sweater. At least his sweatpants are clean. But there’s nothing you can do about those Uggs right now– 

His hand squeezes yours, centering the universe that’s spinning like the inside of a martini shaker. You can feel the weight of his gaze press into your chest – heavy, warm, forgiving. He smiles, then slides into a smirk.

“Chillax, bro. Your vibes are not gnarly.”

You huff, trying to offer a smile that’s not a grimace. This was such a bad idea. Maybe it’s not too late to go pay for one of those mail-order boyfriends and keep Dieter in his nice California, hippie plastic wrap. 

You hear your name being called from the porch and that smile fully plummets into a grimace. Gathering from that reserve of confidence that makes you look at male writers, directors, and (yes) actors and tell them they’re idiots and get the fuck off your set, you open the door and head around the corner to the front of the house. 

Yeah, in the face of your mother, that reserve is basically a trickle.

She’s waiting for you on the porch, red dish towel in hand. 

“I thought that might be you, darling! I’d recognize that squeak from that rust bucket anywhere.” She smiles, arms wide, as you bend down to give her a hug. You've had to bend down to hug your mother for years now and you still feel about two feet tall. “How are you? You’ve been good? You look pale, but you’ve definitely been eating, haven’t you?”

She pinches your cheek as if to show you all the extra fat you have on your face. 

“Where’s Dad?” You try not to look like you’re tearing your face out of her grip and glance into the surprisingly quiet house over her shoulder. “Aren’t Emma and Dan supposed to be here?”

“Your father is out finishing his latest woodworking piece. He’s been at it for days, no matter how much I beg him to help with the food or the house. It’s all on me again to save the holidays.” 

As it is every year.

“Your sister and her family went out to get more sweet potatoes. They eat sweet potatoes in California, don’t they?”

Here it comes.

“Yes, Mom, they eat sweet potatoes.”

“Oh good, I thought it’d be considered a carb.” She frowns, hands on her hips as if you’re about to get a proper scolding. “Now you told me you’re going to be bringing your fancy actor boyfriend. Damian Bravado, right? I cooked for exactly seven people, darling, a single empty chair will throw the whole thing off!”

“Yes, Mom, my boyfriend, Dieter Bravo, is here. He’s just in the–,”

Someone, distinctly not your boyfriend, or at least not the boyfriend you left in the car, waltzes up the front steps.

Rings gone.

Earring gone.

Gloves that would make Ryan Gosling seethe with envy covering the tattoo on his hand.

His hair slicked back and curling deliciously around his ears, his dark jeans cover the laces of maroon Timberland boots. His black turtleneck clings to his wide chest, the leather jacket broken in enough to be soft, but not so used there’s tears in the seams. And, to top it all off, his cream-colored scarf curled around his throat looks like it came out of a Hallmark movie.

Maybe you are in a Hallmark movie. Maybe on the way up the porch, you slipped and banged your head and all of this is a bizarre, weirdly-erotic dream. Maybe someone actually did call in a mail-order boyfriend who looks exactly like Dieter and the real one is hog-tied in the trunk of your car. Maybe – 

You’d heard of quick costume changes, but this is ridiculous.

“Debbie!” He calls out, like they’ve been best friends for twenty years. He flourishes a wrapped bouquet of flowers, bright red against the white snow, and hands them to her after bouncing up the steps. His cheeks are tinged pink, as if he’d run the block, but without a drip of sweat on him, he’s simply glowing with what could be presumed as the holiday spirit. 

To your never-ending and horrific surprise, your mother squeals as she takes the flowers. 

“Poinsettias! My –,”

“Favorite, I know.” You stumble out of the way when he leans down and kisses her on her cheek. “And they’re fake, so you can reuse them next year. But you’d never know it at $300 a pop.”

Okay, yes, this is a clone of your boyfriend, a walking holiday Ken doll – Dieter never, ever brags about money. 

“I’m not a banker or anything, but I like to spoil my girls.” 

The bastard winks at you. 

Your mother has turned to gooey, drippy putty in his hands. She’s redder than the hand towel and the poinsettias combined. She flounces, flutters, eyes springing back and forth between the ruby-red flowers in her hands and Dieter’s achingly handsome face – one that hasn’t dimmed that thousand gigawatt smile since he first arrived. 

“Oh, oh my goodness – well, this is just lovely – it’s so nice to finally meet you – I can’t believe she’s been hiding you from us all this time – please, please come in, you must be freezing!”

She backs into the house, still staring at the flowers, then as if she hadn’t been living here for the past fifteen years of her life, she bounces towards the dining room, then on a quick turn, heads for the kitchen, then turns again to the hallway closet. 

“Oh gracious – where did I put – it must be – come in and shut the door behind you – you know where your room is, darling, I’ll be back in just a second, I just have to – ah, these are spectacular –”

A door down the hallway finally swings shut and muffles your mother’s insane rambling. 

So dazed, you don’t see him move until he’s pressed you up against the glass etching of the door, his hand palming your hip and the other diving to cup the back of your neck. He tugs you down into his mouth before you have time to blink.

Jesus Christ, mint? His breath smells like mint??

God, he even fucking kisses like a Hallmark Prince. His mouth pulls you into him and your brain whites out – careless of the little whimper you make, careless of the fact that literally any one of your family members could walk in right now, careless that you’re teetering into him as if on string. Your breath flutters down his throat and he huffs through his nose. The tips of his fingers are chilly enough that you shiver at his touch.

He edges the bottom of your lip with his tongue before pulling back and tightening his grip in your hair. 

And there’s that Dieter smirk you are all too intimately familiar with. 

“How’m I doing?” He mutters. His gaze flickers between your eyes, your nose, and your kissed-pink lips. “I’d say I got Mama Bear on my side.”

Maybe it’s a good thing he isn’t always like this. Between the fresh breath scent in his mouth, the fragrance of his much-too expensive cologne permeating your senses, and his thick thigh shoved under your groin, you are embarrassingly boneless in his arms. You pluck your fingers over the soft leather collar at the back of his neck, just as much to inspect the jacket, as much as to release more of that delicious smell. 

“Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?” You mutter, smirking, as you wind your fingers into his curls. “Spoil my girls, what the fuck was that?”

“Ah, ha, ha, ha,” he gloats as he lowers his head to your neck. You expect a warm kiss in the length of skin you’ve exposed to him, but instead his teeth lightly tease your throat above your pulse point and you feel your knees buckle as your face warms. “I can be very charming when I want to be.” He squeezes your ass as if to make a point. 

You hold back a moan, flattening it to a shudder in your chest. You can feel his grin in your neck and he shifts you, pulls you closer and compresses you deeper into the wooden door. You can feel your conscious thought melting through your fingers so you blink, lick your lips, try to wiggle out from under his teeth.

“This isn’t a Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner. This is Invasion of the Body Snatchers.” You gasp his name into the foyer of your childhood home when he licks you from the curve of your shoulder up under the soft place below your ear. Your hips jerk unconsciously, baser instincts seeking out the friction of his jeans, and you push against his biceps. “Dieter, she’ll be back any minute. She can’t – can’t see us like this.”

You’ve never heard him chuckle like the way he does, so darkly pleased with himself.

“Once I’m done schmoozing her, your father, your sister and her – what did you call him – cardboard husband, we’ll fuck in front of them and they won’t say a word.”

“Dieter!” You shove him just as your mother returns from the kitchen.

She frowns and you feel the scolding coming, the scent of Dieter so obviously entangled in you. You might as well be wearing a sign that reads, hi, yes, I’ve been recently groped why do you ask?

“Did you forget where your room is? Honestly, what would you do without me? Now, follow me and I’ll remind you.”

Schmooze he did. 

From the same magical bag of weirdly specific and perfect gifts, Dieter presents a bottle of Buffalo Trace bourbon and two very illegal, but very Cuban cigars. Your father forgets to scowl in the face of some of the most expensive bourbon in the world. 

For your sister, he somehow senses that material objects won’t go as far, so he endears himself to your niece first. Asking her questions about her doll, about her school, what she likes to play with her friends and how crazy it is that hopscotch is his favorite game too. 

In twenty minutes, he’s on his hands and knees, black sleeves pulled up over his immaculate forearms, and etching out a hopscotch board with pink chalk. He nods and interjects while your niece runs around him, demanding a dragon in the corner, or a crown in another, and suddenly your biological clock starts blaring like an air-raid siren. 

“He’s so good with kids,” your sister mutters to you from the door to the garage. A single glance tells you she’s under the same effect of watching a hot man play with a child. You’re so aroused and confused you can’t even eye her with jealousy. 

“Mhmm hmm.” 

“When are you going to have some of your own?” 

And you’re back inside before you can see the look on his face as he lifts his head.

It would be insulting to call it eerie. 

It’s not like he’s physically incapable of smelling clean, or dressing nice, or even combing his hair. You’ve seen him do it time and time again for galas and interviews. Hell, that time he took you on a date to get sushi in the tallest building in Toronto, he didn’t look that much different from how he does right now . . . and yet . . .

You feel your face scrunch in suspicion when he remembers your aunt’s food allergies, how your Uncle Rick likes his after-dinner coffee. 

Dieter might forget to put on pants, but he’s never forgotten the important dates of your relationship. He remembers what you were wearing the first night you kissed, but can’t remember to take out the pizza before it burns in the oven. 

This, this Dieter, feels wrong. 

You watch him laugh with your father and uncle by the fireplace with brandy in his hands as you work with your mother and sister to unwrap a dozen saran-wrapped pies. He comes by later and takes the stack of plates from your mother’s hands and assures her he’ll do the dishes, as thanks for such a wonderful meal.

This Dieter Bravo needs a smoking jacket and uses words like “wonderful meal”. 

Initial surprise at his near magical transformation from the car this morning long gone, you sit with this uncomfortable feeling, as everyone around you eats pie and laughs and looks all the part of a fucking Hallmark card for “joyful festivities”, long enough to finally understand it for what it is:

Anger. 

Shame. Guilt. 

Hot embarrassment. 

You look at the man who’s invaded your boyfriend’s body as he charms the pants off your mother and father, and ugly, heavy embarrassment boils over in your chest. Washing the knife in your throat down with your fourth glass of wine all night, you excuse yourself with the last bit of breath in your lungs before ducking upstairs, then stumbling to your childhood bathroom you once shared, and share again, with your sister. 

You lock the door forcefully in lieu of slamming it shut and sit down on the tile, your head against your knees. Rationally, there’s a part of you that knows this shouldn’t affect you like it is. Women would kill for a boyfriend like this – your sister very nearly jumped him in the garage. 

But that’s just the thing – this isn’t your boyfriend. This isn’t the man you spend your days and nights with and this isn’t the man you fell in love with. This isn’t the Dieter you want to show the world. 

A soft knock comes from the other side of the door and it breaks you out of your self-deprecating spiral. 

“Just a second,” you call out as you stand. You flush the empty toilet (this night is filled with ruses after all) and twitch the faucet on for two seconds. But when you open the door, you’re immediately cowed back in. 

“Dieter, what are you–,”

“Are you okay?” Beneath the veneer of the Million Dollar Man, his eyes are soft, coaxing the anxiety out of you. “You looked pale when you left.” He tucks an escaped strand of hair over your ear, watching how his fingers brush up against your skin. He gently tangles his fingers in your hair as he pulls back. He smirks. “Mom’s dressing wasn’t that bad.” 

White-hot shame blooms again and you turn your head from him, tugging your hair out of his reach. You catch his hurt expression out of the corner of your eye. 

“I’m fine. Just needed some air.” 

“You’re not a good liar. I’ve told you that.” His voice is clipped. Not irritated, but not interested in lengthy bouts of misdirection either.

“Well, I don’t feel like bearing my problems to Mr. Perfect.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He crosses his arms, shoulders swelling in the space of the tiny bathroom, and he leans on the sink. 

“It means you’re a better liar than me so I guess you’ll have to do it for the both of us.” 

You know it’s ridiculous to try and move around him – but maybe this Dieter wouldn’t care if you left angry. Even sober, he could manhandle you without a second thought, but between the heat of the drink in your throat and he’s blurred at the edges, you know you’re fighting a losing battle.

“Dieter, please, just –,”

He stands his ground, effectively blocking the door, and you huff, pushing up against his waist with your hands, your teeth bared behind your lips. He steps back, you think you’ve won a mile, but then his hands grasp so firmly around your elbows, your entire consciousness is pulled into where his fingers curl against your skin.

He gently, but seriously, shakes you slightly.

“Stop fighting me. You tell me what I did wrong and we’ll talk about this.”

The past two weeks of dread, and fear, and worry, and shame – shame that this is your family, this is how you go to pieces around them, this is all you can offer him – slam into your chest and your breathing hitches. The fingers at his chest dig into his shirt. The fourth glass of wine makes your eyes hot and tight.

“This isn’t you.” 

You grimace in the bright light of the bathroom and your confession. But beyond your closed eyes, his demeanor hasn’t changed. 

“What’s not me?”

A tear slips out the moment you open your mouth, your throat closing and gagging on your words. You swallow and try again, eyes peeling open to stare at the curve of his shoulder. 

“You’re Dieter Bravo. You dry-clean your favorite pajamas to preserve the material. You do astrology charts of people who piss you off to find out how to best get back at them. You paint until four in the morning and sleep in our bed until I wake you up–,”

Your heart thrusts its way into your airways and cuts off your ability to speak. You know you’re not making a lot of sense, but all you can think of right now is how much you want to peel this fucking black, Steve Jobs-esque, goddamn ugly-ass turtleneck apart with your bare hands. Like freeing a mermaid from a net. He squeezes your waist, his broad palm settled in the curve of your lower back. 

“Darling, I don’t see why this has you so sad –,”

“They won’t fall in love with you like I did.” You lift your watery gaze to him, unable to stop the spilling of tears. You always got teary when you drank a bit too much, but fuck, if you didn’t love him so much, you wouldn’t be so mad . . . at yourself. “I hate that you feel like you have to do this to be accepted by my family. I hate that they can’t see what makes you so special to me. I hate . . . I hate that they don’t see the real you.” 

And out of nowhere, he smiles. 

Never one to shy away from bodily fluids, Dieter kisses your tear-soaked cheeks, his hands rising up your back, taking their time to press into the curve of your hips, the bones of your ribs, the high arch of your spine, before settling on your cheeks. He kisses your wet mouth, thumbs against the corners of your lips like a soft leather bridle. He holds you, just like that, until your heart eases, stops racing in your chest, and you lean more into the kiss, chasing instead of hiding. You wrap your fingers around his wrists as he pulls away.

“With all due respect, this is just another gig for me.” His gentle smile hides no bitterness, no anger. No disgust. “I know what people like this are like, how they think, what they want. What they value.” He smears away the cold tears from your skin with his thumbs. “It’s fun, in a way, to infiltrate their little circles. It’s all fake, it’s all bullshit, and fortunately I’m fantastic at bullshit.”

You let out a watery laugh and he reaches behind you for some toilet paper to dry your tears. He blots your eyes for you before you can even take the tissue. 

“You’re not forcing me to do anything, baby,” he murmurs. “My family was exactly the same way, so I know how the game is played.”

“Yeah, and you don’t talk to them anymore. I just wish I had your bravery to cut them out of my life like you did.” 

Dieter’s mouth twitches. “Well, that had more to do with the fact that I like to occasionally make out with boys, than dysfunctional family dynamics.”

You squeeze his forearm as he continues to clean your face, trying to catch his eyes but they’d gone hard where a moment ago they were soft. He thinks, using the silence to carefully fix your make up with his thick thumb under your eyelashes to lift off the smeared mascara. 

He didn’t talk much about his life before Hollywood, but when he did, you understood why he was so closed off about it.

“Let’s put it this way: they did the cutting off, not me. And even if we have to be completely different people, your family still talks to you. I’m not saying that to guilt you, or compare trauma scars, but . . . most times we can’t pick who we love, but sometimes we have to.” 

You nod, a sense of ease washing over you. His small, I don’t know if I should say this but I’m gonna smile widens across his mouth. 

“It’s okay if they don’t see the real me, because I know you do.” He finally pulls away the tissue, his mouth pulled up in sweet earnest. “What can I do to make you feel better?”

A physical string connected between your ribs and his could not have tugged you faster. Tripping into his wide, warm chest, you drop your head onto his collarbone as you wrap your arms around his torso tighter than his own rib cage.

“Just . . .”

His bulky arms pull you into his chest, the bristles of his beard scratching at your temple. It’s not until you sink away from your own thoughts, into the silence in the bathroom, that you realize your breathing is synced with his. 

That realization hits you particularly hard, that without trying, without meaning to, you become one with him – you turn and bury your face into the pulse of his neck. If you can get to his heartbeat, maybe that’ll calm you too. Dig through the crust of the earth and end up in China. You shift in his arms, and he does too. Dieter cups the back of your head, thumb rubbing the arch of your skull. His entire arm circles your back. 

“What do you need, hm, baby? What can I give you, huh?”

You know he doesn’t mean it like that, but the girth, the weight of his voice has your toes curling in your shoes. His rasp is so often used to light that first spark. 

“Dieter –,” the moment shifts and so do you. You squirm, itching for his face in your hands, his mouth over yours, but he holds you steady. Holds you firm. So firm, you can feel he’s half-hard in his jeans. 

Oh. 

Maybe he did mean it like that. 

You press your tongue against his pulse point, your fingers splayed across the back of his rib cage, and he shudders. You’re about to bite down, when his hands peel your fingers from his back and pinch your wrists in one single, meaty grip. Heart suddenly thundering in your chest, he steps back to allow for just enough room to turn you – barely any at all – and pushes you face down on the sink counter, your wrists clasped over your ass behind you.

Cold marble pressing up against your tits, your face turned towards the window and the towel bar where you used to hang your Barbie swimsuits when you were seven, you feel his other massive palm dip under your sweater and press flat against the ridges of your spine. He hums when you let out a small whine. Flexes his fingers when you wiggle your ass against him. You seek out the marble with your cheek, heat rising under your skin, arousal suddenly burning hot in your low belly. 

“This is what you need, hm, baby? Need me to touch you? To feel you?” He murmurs. Dieter always did like playing with his food. You nod helplessly, cheek sticky against the marble. He shifts his hips into the crack of your ass, with just enough pressure to have you bucking back against him, but not enough to find relief from the stirring between your legs. 

He strokes your hair away from your neck, fingers brushing over your collarbone, gaze languid and slow. Like he can see where he needs to pluck to unravel you. 

“Why is my baby so tense?” He muses quietly, patronizing. His hand maps your spine in a single palm, edging slowly up your back until, with two fingers, he pinches your bra open. You feel the snap of the release and you rub your nose against the edge of the counter, whimpering. “Don’t I take care of you?”

You gulp. “Y-y-yes, you treat– treat me so good. I want it.” 

He has you pressed too tightly against the counter to slip his hand down your front, the edge pinching your hips. So, instead, with your hands still pinned against your tailbone, he palms your ass and rubs a thick finger down between your legs and up over the seam of your jeans. The whine building in your throat breaks into an open moan when he presses your zipper teeth into your clit.  

“Want what? Tell me and I’ll give it to you.” 

“F-fingers – tongue – fuck – y-your cock. Anything inside me.” 

The surprised, breathless chuckle that reverberates down to the button of his jeans seared against your ass has you bending, stretching, just for a glimpse of his face in the mirror. 

His mouth open, tongue curling back and forth over his bottom lip, he’s hungry. Wants so much. Can’t satiate this need without something between his teeth. Grinning around a mouthful of incisors. Patience has never been Dieter’s strong suit. 

With a firm jerk around your wrists, your back arches up off the counter, shoulders pinched, hands caught low near his groin. You know he wants you to watch him touch you in the mirror – he’s stopped before when you close your eyes – but it’s hard to look at the woman reflected back at you, with her bleary eyes, mussed hair, heaving chest, and exposed belly button where his hand hovers between the waistband and a green sweater, and recognize yourself. 

  “No one can take you from me. Do you understand?” He dips his head, arched nose dragging up the curve of your neck, breathing hot through his teeth against the lines where your hair and your skin meet. You can’t help but arch up into his waiting mouth. “Not your family. Not mine. You’re so greedy for me – who else is gonna make you feel this good?” 

“N-no one, Dieter, no one can.”

His hand rising under your sweater, thumb first at your belly button, then up between the spread of your ribs, and finally, it catches under the wire of your bra and he tugs it down. The material rubs against your sensitive nipples – it almost stings, your body pulled taught like a bowstring – the straps falling low off your shoulders, but your sweater keeps it from falling off completely and he goes no further. You whine, eager for something other than the scratch of the bra – something warmer – and push your sensitive tits into his soft hands, but his hand drops, fingering the waistline of your jeans instead. He ignores what you want to show you what you need. 

This is a thing he did. He watched you wind yourself up with deadlines and scheduling and meetings and arguments on set and and doubt and worry and fear and then he took it upon himself to tire you out enough that all of it shattered – crashed and consumed under the white noise in your head. Dieter liked to play however you needed it.

You can feel the seam of his jeans hover just beyond your fingertips, as though his hips swing unconsciously forward while he nips and sucks on your neck. God, you’d give anything to have the weight of him between your palms. 

When he speaks again, you realize at some point you squeezed your eyes shut, forgoing sight to chase the sensation that sparks across your skin every time he touched a new bare patch of skin on you. He pulls his head up from fixating a tender purple blush just below where your sweater covers your shoulder to catch your gaze in the mirror. Panthers do not watch with such hungry eyes. 

“Arms up.” It’s not a command, a request, but the words drip from his mouth, rich and sweet. He lets go of your wrists and your arms flutter above you, his fingers already rolling up the edge of your sweater. He drags it up, snagging your loose bra with it, and peeling them both off you. The immediate heat of his chest on your bare back is so hot, it burns cold. 

“Dieter,” you cry, nipples hardening in the cold air, goosebumps spiraling out along your skin. He’s there for you in an instant. 

He bites the soft, invisible hairs at your jaw, thick paws coming up to clutch your breasts, the sudden swap in temperature making your head swim. He pulls you against his chest, a new outer skin that breathes and moans and gasps, one that has a steady heartbeat your own has synced to. 

With his eyes fixated on you in the mirror, he molds your breast to his palm, rounding your nipples with his thumbs before sliding down between the curves of them. He licks the back of your neck. 

“Face down, baby,” he says. 

“But it’s cold,” you huff, pouting. You smooth your hands over his, his angular wrists, his broad thick forearms entombed in long back sleeves, then settle with your fingers in his hair. His height over you has your torso stretched, your tits bare and ripe, and he palms your stomach to the top of your ribs in two hands. He grunts when you twist his curls, keeping his head still so every bruise and wet spot on your shoulders and throat are all too visible. “Don’t you want to see all your good work?”

He blinks, slow and purposeful, his eyelids heavy, mouth parting. You can’t be sure of his decision, of what he wants, what he’s going to give, when his hands arch up the cradle of your arms, soft enough to tickle below your elbows, then around your wrists. He’s done this enough for you to know he wants you to let go.

You do. 

Fast as venom moves from fangs to flesh, he plants your hands on the counter, forcibly gripping the edge. This is how you hold on. 

He steps up against you again, iron-hot cock pressing without hesitancy between your ass cheeks, and unbuckles your pants without preamble.

“I’d rather just show you.” 

Broad hand bending your shoulders forward, fingers pressed flat over your shoulder, you gasp when your tits make contact with the cold counter, and an instant later, he’s filling your open mouth with his fingers. He wets them against the slip of your tongue and grabs your jaw. 

Your mind fracturing like cracking ice, you don’t hear the zip of his jeans, the groan as he takes himself out – barely feel the rub along your wet slit, the arranging of his fingers around your bare hip, the widening of your stance with his ankle. 

But you do feel it when he’s suddenly hilt-deep inside of you. 

You lurch forward with the weight of it, whining as though scalded at the sudden blinding pressure of pleasure and pain, and you slap a palm against the mirror to keep yourself from shattering through it. Behind you, Dieter looks like someone dislocated his kneecaps. 

“You good, baby?” He pants, drawing his hand out of your mouth, wet spit between his fingers as he cups your hanging breast. The sensation bleeds hot, then cold. Unable to help himself, he nuzzles your shoulder blades. 

You nod, eyes shut, the magnetic north sense of you spinning wildly off-kilter as you try to gulp in as much air as you can. You know you’re about to lose it anyway. He stands upright, not so much as inching out of you, when he plants his feet and nestles your ass against his hip bones, hands wiggling you further down his cock. 

“You’re so fucking gorgeous.” 

It’s said with such wonder, a breathless reverence, that you think he might not have realized he said it out loud. You glance over your shoulder, turning your head instead of finding him in the mirror. 

The facade of the Brooklyn banker is gone. Your Dieter stares, awe-struck, at the body he’s got impaled on his cock like it’s the first time he’s seen a naked woman. Soft, pliant, eager to please, your Dieter lets you collar him, peg him, and give it to you exactly as you ask.

“How do you want it?” The phrase is so familiar, so intimate when spoken from his pink lips, you shudder, a Pavlovian response that’s got you drooling somewhere else than your mouth. He lifts his gaze and finds you staring. 

There is no one else in that moment. Not a single living soul besides you and him in this white-tiled bathroom. You can almost hear the absence of people ringing in your ears. His open, hot mouth draws your eyes away from his and you want every bit of him as stuffed up inside you as you can handle. Twisted around, you lick his bottom lip over your shoulder before offering your tongue for him to suck.

He groans, and you breathe in intimacy you’ve never experienced before. A flushed ache rises from your chest, a precursor to the aches he’ll leave you with by morning. 

You tip your head back and thumb the bristly skin against his chin.

“Hard, baby. Please.”

For all his faults, for all his forgetting, Dieter switches brain waves as fast as you do, tethered together like the gravitational spin of space rocks in the wake of a gleaming comet.

“Okay.”

He distracts you from the pain of that first rough thrust by biting down on your shoulder.

His motions are short, targeted, and right up into the cradle of your cervix, the pace driven, unrelenting and hard. You shake with the force of them, as fragile as silverware on a table near the drop of an atom bomb. 

“Oh – fuck, Dieter–,” 

He pins your arm that had touched his chin to your chest, then his chest to your back, sealing your damp skin to his shirt. The curl of that wretched black turtleneck scratches deliciously against your low back. 

Grunting in low, short bursts, Dieter sabotages his own breathing by crushing you so tight to his chest. He sucks on your neck as if to draw the oxygen straight from your blood. The fingers on your hip steady you, just for his cock wrecks your insides. 

“You wan-na – ngh – you wanna know why it doesn’t bother me?” 

Each word is spat out from between his teeth. He’s giving you your requested punishment as much as he is sprinting after his own release.

“Tell me. Tell me please.” Your voice is scraped raw, breathless and gooey at the same time. 

“Because when you’re my wife, they won’t be able to do a fucking thing about it.” 

Around him, your cunt squeezes, his words sending shocks through your nerves. You whine as if he’d smacked your ass. 

“I fucking felt that. You like that. You want that. You want my fucking cock every day.”

Again, he plants your hands on the cold counter. 

“Push back against me, baby.” You anchor yourself, ass out, elbows and knees locked. “That’s it, that’s my fucking good girl.”

He lifts his body up right, off your sweaty neck and back, and with both hands pinching your waist, he yanks you up and down on his cock in long, rough thrusts, knees bending with enough force to send you onto your toes.  

“Gonna have to take it. Just – fucking – take – it –,”

His leaking cock drives up against that spot inside of you that makes your eyes roll back and body tense again and again, but yanks back before that hot feeling swells. It’s so close you’re dizzy from it. 

You want to fuck yourself on his cock but you can’t time your aching hips right, so you stop trying and bend forward more, exposing more of your cunt to him. 

“Dieter, please –,” 

“Baby, you gotta be quiet. I know you feel good, but you can’t let them hear us.”

The words are out of your mouth, breaking through the thick, drowning fog and through the hindbrain barrier.

“Fuck them. Let them hear.” 

Dieter’s hips slow, punch not as deeply, as if he’s curious what you’re going to say next.

“Take off your shirt. I wanna feel your skin.” 

He listens immediately, a very good boy at heart, and the first press of his soft chest against you nearly has you coming then. 

“Harder again, please.” 

Again, without a second’s hesitation, he kisses your ear before grappling your shoulder with one hand and your hip with the other and he takes up his position as owner and keeper of your sloppy cunt. 

You cry out, high and wrecked, some semblance of sanity knowing you’re being far too loud, and he bucks the words out of you.

“I wanna suck on your earring, Dieter.” He grunts as he doubles over as if trying to yank back an unrestrained and early release. He rubs his damp forehead in the patch of soft skin by your shoulder blade. 

“Say it again.” 

With every rock of his hips, you swing up higher, and higher, your thighs tensing, nails scraping the counter. 

“Wanna put it between my lips and suck until you’re cherry red. I wanna choke on your rings. So far down my throat I gag. Wanna – wanna – lick your tattoos – all of them – ‘til the ink blurs from my spit. I –,”

The noise he makes is pained, weak, a man at the end of his rope.

He pops your ass. “Shut up. You’re gonna come now.” 

His sweaty palms slip against the soft skin of your hips, and he keeps slipping with no leverage. 

“Stand on your toes.” You do and for an absurd second, you think he’s going to pick you up in a bear hug. He wraps his arms around your rib cage, his face nestled into the hot, sticky curve of your neck, in the flipped image of when he takes you after your legs get sore from riding him. Your tits spilling over his forearms, he keeps the ludicrous bend in your spine as well as the short, rough pace. You reach your fingers around the back of his head and hold on for dear life. 

The change in angle has stars blowing across your eyes, has you whimpering strings of pleas, veneration, and curses all threaded together. His own thighs shaking, he rubs the pads of three of his fingers across your clit and you’re over the edge. 

“Oh – oh, shit –,”

The electrical storm that’s been building one wiry shock at a time finally bursts and you go rigid from head to toe, turning to marble, to steel, bright and sharp. You can feel your own release dribble down your thigh, Dieter stuttering behind you.

“Wait – fuck,”

He tries to speed up, or press harder, but he’s coming so hard you feel it expand your cunt and ends up just making a leaking mess. The sensation shivers you through another minor wave. The crest goes high, then crashes, and you slump forward, cold nips be damned, and he follows you down a second later. 

The heated weight at your back and hard, cool marble squishing your tits is too much for your dazed brain to handle. Any looser and you might slip off the edge of the earth. 

Dieter seems to be in a similar state. He not so much pulls out of you as he goes weak-kneed to the floor. A single tug on your hip has you stumbling down with him.

Despite the garland around the stairs, despite the smell of cranberries in the air, despite the veneer of perfect holiday wholesomeness, it’s the slick layer of sweat, grime, and cum over your skin that has you finally smiling. 

You recognize you have been gone far too long – there’s not enough spiked hot cider in the world to ignore two missing bodies and a locked door. Dieter puts his barefoot preemptively up against the door frame and you giggle into his shoulder. 

“Oh, there’s the sound I’ve been missing!” He nuzzles you, a blissful smile breaking open his face, sunlight over storm clouds. He wiggles beneath you, trying to tug you on top of him, but with your jeans constricting your thighs, and his barely below his hips, all it really accomplishes is the two of you rolling around on the bathroom floor.

In a heap of limbs, slick skin, his knee catching the button of your jeans, you bump your nose against his chin, there’s something bright building in your chest – it’s twisting your mouth, pinching your cheeks – his fingers grab your elbow, his eyes lock into yours – 

And you’re laughing. 

You’re laughing too loud, all pretense gone. You can’t honestly care what they’re thinking downstairs.

He manages to get you under him, his damp hair clinging to his temples and tangling down in frizzy strands. 

“I’m gonna say this and I need you to actually hear me.” 

You nod, grinning up at him and lightly tracing his clavicle. 

He swats at your hand and holds it to your chest. 

“Don’t wait until it’s that bad, okay?” You chuckle and he bites the tip of your nose. “Listen to me, you little goblin, I’m trying to be serious for a second.”

You settle under him, fingers intertwining with his over your chest. Sincere Dieter is a beautiful thing to look at. 

“This holiday bullshit can be a lot. Spent a lot of them either in coke up to my eyeballs, or in the bathroom the next day. It fucking sucks that these are the people we can from, but we can’t change that. What’s important is the family we build right now–,”

Your mouth drops open, his words suddenly illuminating a future that had always seemed so blurry and distant. 

“Dieter, I –,”

“I’m gonna marry you someday, so let’s start with us.” He kisses the back of your hand. “We carry each other, okay?” 

You nod, the white light of that future searing a hole in your chest, exposing your heart to the open air, and bringing tears to your eyes. You nod, more assured, before kissing him on his bottom lip.

“Okay.” 

The next few minutes play out just like they would if you were at home: cleaning each other up, trying on clothes only to realize he grabbed your sweater instead, and bumping affectionate kisses wherever they could reach. 

At the top of the stairs, you don’t know what awaits you in the living room. What exactly you’ll be returning to. Who will catch you and who won’t.

But it doesn’t matter. His hand is around yours and he’s grinning petulantly against all the world. 

Is Dieter Bravo someone you could rely on? 

Your heart says yes. 

[ronearoundblindly]

No Promises (2)

Lloyd Hansen x rival assassin!Reader

Don't Be Blue, Bunny Boy (see previous or LH Masterlist)

Summary: Lloyd underestimates how dangerous you are when he finds you wrapped like a gift in his hotel room.

Warnings for smut, but it's Lloyd so there's a knife, a gun, name-calling, cursing, drugging, dubcon due to somno, two a**holes in competition, unprotected sex (honestly, just never do anything Lloyd would do, okay? great. excellent. good chat), and possibly the best banter I've ever written gdi. Darkfic...but, like, funny??? For the love of everything, MINORS DNI. I have plenty else for you on my Light Masterlist, but this is not for you! WC 2k 🫣

*This CT 2024 Challenge work can be read completely out-of-context from the rest of the mini-series (which isn't even written yet anyway, lalalahhhh).

It’s bad enough you took the keycard off that fat fuck of a target first, but failing to follow you smacks Lloyd’s ego in just the wrong way. By the time he gets back to his luxurious hotel room, he’s fuming and itching to shoot something. You don’t need to be a mind-reader to know this; the man is still a man, after all, no matter how trained and controlled he thinks he is.

That’s why you’re here, trussed up in a sapphire blue bodysuit, smirking at the irritation radiating off of your rival as his eyes rake the length of your mostly-bare figure.

“Darling,” you burst, posing like a ‘50s housewife by the armchair, playful and sickeningly sweet. “You’re home! I was so worried.”

Anger quivers his lip coat till he vaguely resembles a pouting porcupine. God, you hate mustaches. You’re willing to bet—if you really put your back into it—you could hump his face with such friction, it’d rub him smooth. There are less-worthwhile endeavors that you’ve completely only today. Why not experiment?

“You have some fucking nerve, bitch.”

Lloyd keeps his steps forward into the room slow and casual, though his ire is obvious. He stops halfway across the carpet, unzips his leather jacket, and tosses it onto the foot of the bed.

He seems surprised when you strut over without hesitation; he hasn’t handed over any weapons, but you haven’t asked for a reason. Lloyd’s reputation is cocky, commanding, and curious—in that order—so he won’t start speculating till it’s too late.

Indeed, what possible harm could you inflict wearing this lil’ ol’ thing, huh?

As you get closer, his hand reaches out instinctually.

“Ah, ah, ah,” you tsk in warning. “If you rip my lace, I will gut you like a fish. Understood?”

“Can’t make any promises, but…”

Lloyd, undeterred, clamps his hand between your legs and runs a finger through your folds, proving the crotchless lingerie isn’t in danger of typical snags.

The pad of his digit is rough and teasing.

“I think we can work with that,” he growls.

Oh yes, he’s definitely, perfectly, and predictably cocky. What fun you’ll have.

You make a show of gasping when he starts dipping two fingers into your heat, rolling your head as if truly undone by the minimal effort, and wait for him to watch his own ministrations, distracted.

Then you strike.

You grab his wrist, twisting harshly, yanking the arm behind him, straddling his shoulders so your legs pinch over his neck, and he turns slightly to nip at your thigh. You’re not surprised he still thinks he’ll win.

His steely eye winks as he looks up.

“Bet I can make you cum first.”

A dramatic sigh escapes you. You release his arm to sensually smooth your palm down his body, bending to whisper, “that implies I give a shit if you come at all.”

You fling yourself backwards, using the momentum to catapult him over you and into the side of the bed.

The mustache emphasizes his sneer when Lloyd pushes up on an elbow.

“I, too, like using a firm hand when breaking bitches’ spirits,” he mutters, reaching for his switchblade which you present instead, wiggling it in your hand with a grin.

“Oh, bunny boy, were you too firm to notice my gentle caress?” You deftly unlatch and expose the knife’s edge. “Now, strip.”

You tick the blade quickly for effect.

“Show me some skin so I can mark my two points so far. I know how you love to keep score.”

Lloyd rights himself, peeling his black turtleneck over his head and smoothing his hair into place calmly. “I can kill you just as easily naked as I can clothed.”

“Of course, cutie pie, and I’m counting on many little deaths.” You look at the knife in your hand, concerned. “Please tell me this isn’t the biggest weapon you're packing, or I’ll be so disappointed.”

He’s smug while unbuckling his belt and shucking off his pants. Lloyd Hansen now proudly stands stark nude.

You let your eyes go comically wide, but then your brow furrows and you shrug.

“You’re welcome to keep talking while I sit on your face, but otherwise… I’m unimpressed.”

Lloyd huffs with indignation.

“Fuck you.”

Like the footballer he used to be, he rushes you.

“Promise?” you coo, dodging him and landing a sharp smack to his butt cheek. It’s spectacularly sculpted, plump, and rock hard all at once.

“Oh my! Darling, you did not lead with your best asset…” You notice the faint scar on his pale skin and giggle. “Little prick got pricked, I see.”

Your amusement gives him a split second to grab you, and Lloyd uses the opportunity to shove you back into the window so violently the thick glass rattles its frame.

“Shut your fucking mouth,” he spits viciously, not so cocky as before.

“Isn’t that what I’ve been begging you to do for me, sweetheart?”

Mouth hanging open in a taunt, one hand strokes him, the other warns. The tip of the knife you still wield barely grazes the notch between ribs where you could swiftly puncture his lung. Lloyd watches, fuming and mesmerized, until you transfer the pooling saliva to your palm and resume jerking his cock.

“A firm hand really does make you harder, doesn’t it?”

That snaps him out of it.

He scrambles to bend you over that same armchair you started at, and Lloyd’s version of prep is a single, perfunctory dig of two fingers into your cunt.

To his credit, you are dripping wet for him, so, though his need to check before chaffing himself wasn’t necessary, he rewards you with a beautifully debauched moan as he sinks to the hilt with one thrust.

Lloyd’s got something to prove.

Good.

He’s so focused on groping around to your breasts beneath the stretchy lace that you stick the switchblade deep into the chair’s cushion and hold on; whatever else you’re doing is irrelevant to him. There is only fucking. There is only feeling as if he owns you in this moment.

You let out a high whine and goad him. “Love it when you’re gentle with me, sweetie.”

That earns you an unhinged snarl and the pummeling slap of his hips against your thighs.

He’s so easy to motivate, a majestic maniac on a mission to turn you stupid, if only until the stench of sex dissipates. If the idiot would just reach down to your clit, you’d spare him, but Lloyd is a man.

A selfish, egotistical princeling who’s a good marksman and a shit human. Good, for the business you two are in. But not as good as you.

You sigh like you’re bored, sinking your chin to rest on your outstretched arms.

He stops moving, grunting as he pulls out of you and snapping one of your shoulder straps.

“Fine. You wanna put in the work, sunshine? You go for it.” Lloyd flops onto the bed, face up, his arms spread wide and high.

Of course, he’s going for the gun under the pillow. You know it, you’ve anticipated it, and you decided it would be a nice safety blanket to leave him, to keep him feeling comfortable.

So you crawl on top of him anyway, rocking yourself against his cock for a few seconds before shifting higher. You giggle for emphasis.

You’re just here to fuck him. You’re just here to fuck with him. That’s the truth, and he knows it. Lloyd simply doesn’t know the conditions of both your releases…yet.

“Such a desperate slut,” he rumbles as you settle above his face.

Before you cover your view of him, you pinch at his jaw and smirk.

“Only munches wear a fucking mustache.”

His cheek gets a condescending pat when he smiles back.

He’s cute when he’s having fun, apparently.

Lloyd licks his lips and slowly lifts his head to swipe at your entrance. “You owe me that fucking keycard.” He delicately kisses your folds before his tongue darts out to circle your clit. “And I’ll get it from you one way or another.”

You can hear the rustle of his hand over the sheet. Not even a solid suck on your cunt, and he’s already going for the gun…

“Oh, come on,” you plead, ignoring his threat. “Finish your meal, champ. I know you can do it.”

His eyes narrow, peeking past your mound as he growls, gripping your thighs hard enough for you to collapse forward.

Sloppy. The best word to describe Lloyd eating pussy is sloppy. He contributes as much as you do to the glide of his whole face over every intimate inch of skin. Because you’re sitting with weight mostly on him—some of it still rests on your knees—each movement pushes his nose, lips, tongue, and stache around with enough fervor to polish your raw nerves.

Honestly, it’s a shame he ruins the moment by slipping his hand under the pillow and pressing the silencer's muzzle to your side.

Petulance dialed to maximum, you whimper, “you said I could come first!”

Your hand falls below your navel, clutching the lace like he’s already wounded you, and Lloyd proceeds to laugh right into your cunt.

He doesn’t have time to form a comeback once you peel the sheer, protective layer away from the patch of fabric a mere inch above the opening of the bodysuit. If he’d have paid any proper attention to you, he’d’ve found it, but he didn’t.

The fumes of chloroform-drenched cobalt engulf Lloyd in the suffocating proximity of the bed and your body. He has nowhere to go but under.

The gun falls away once his limbs go lax.

You sit directly on his chest for the few seconds it takes to realign the inner and outer barriers of your dainty, chemical warfare, then you shimmy off of him.

He actually looks quite peaceful this way.

His features are carefree, his broad, smooth chest rises and falls steadily, and his…

Well.

Lloyd’s dick lays erect and proud on his stomach, unfazed by unconsciousness. It’d be an even greater shame to waste that.

“It’s ok, peanut,” you whisper out of habit now, forced to imagine the twitch of his lip, the pop of the vein in his neck. “This is your chance to make it up to me.”

It’s not difficult to take him into your still-sopping core, and once you angle yourself to grind on the cut of his abs, all Lloyd’s previous buildup rushes back. His ass may be the star of the show, but his dick is no fluffer act. He’s packing enough to nudge at that perfect spot relentlessly as you ride him, and you openly mewl as you approach the height of your orgasm.

You imagine he’d say you sound so pretty and pathetic.

He’d probably ask if this is the best you can do, but that makes you fuck him harder until you crash into a wall of pleasure, sweaty, exhausted, resting against that broad chest.

You catch your breath after a short while, skin humming with excitement. Absently, your hands paw at his sides for a tiny bit of comfort.

That thought gets buried in a tense heartbeat, and you climb off the bed, pleased to notice the sheer amount of cum and his softening dick means he finished, too.

You’ll leave that as a souvenir.

The plan was to carve a little message on him—nothing that would permanently scar—but you can’t bring yourself to mar such a glorious ass. That would be akin to treason. Seriously, if he had simply walked around you in a bathing suit with that thing, you would have slipped the keycard into his waistband and thanked him for his service to your wet dreams.

A bit of dried cum smeared all over his pelvis and dripping down his balls, his useless pistol still in-hand, will do fine as a statement.

You clean yourself up, snatching your real clothes from the closet where you hung them tidily beside his own, and give a gentle grip to his immobile knee where it hangs off the bed.

“Sweet dreams, bunny boy. Maybe I'll let you win next time.”

[Next Part: I Left You Something On The Body]

[Main Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

This work was written for the amazing and inspirational Cum Together Extravaganza hosted by @stargazingfangirl18 and @labella420, but a special thanks to @buckymorelikefuckme for the earworm that would not quit. Poppy, you dark enabler you... I fucking love you!

Prompts: "Bet I can make you cum first." || Somnophilia || enemies-to-lovers || Characters A + B cum together at the same time

dividers by @/saradika-graphics (blue art deco) and @/cafekitsune

[junkdyke]

That Time I Hooked Up With A Tumblr Mutual

Ok. Let me start by saying this is not a callout post, and this should be read as a humorous story, with some takeaway lessons at the end. Please enjoy my story of my weird ass encounter with a Tumblr mutual.

Part 1: The Backstory

Alight so boom. I had just returned home from a trip where I met a different Tumblr mutual. That trip was great but didn't end up going to plan, so long story short, ya girl was horny. I had never really had a one-night-stand or sought out a solely sexual hookup, so I started thinking maybe I could try it out, see how I like it. And through the sheer power of manifestation, that opportunity presented itself.

I was scrolling Tumblr and one of my mutuals posted asking if anyone was in (my area) and wanted to hang out. Mind you, I have never spoken to this mutual before. No DMs, maybe like 1 or 2 comments through tags and that's it. But, most of my moots are far as fuck, so when I saw she was near me I was like oh ayo, I'm free! Why not, I had nothing else going on! So I reply, and she DMs me.

So she introduces herself, we'll call her Chicle for reasons I'll get to later in the story lmao. Anyway, she gushes a little bit, saying she's been too shy to DM me and that I'm a really cool tattoo artist mutual, I say she's cute and seems cool, and she asks if I've ever been to this particular mall. I say I have and if she wants to cruise the mall with me. She says yeah I'd love to cruise the mall and "if I like her vibe, then maybe we can do something more fun." I say I'm down, she gives me her number.

So here is what I'm envisioning. We'll meet up at the mall, walk around and talk, get to know each other, have some laughs, get a snack, it was a Friday so maybe we could go out to like a bar or go dancing, and then maybe after that, possibly make-out or even have sex! I am not opposed to having sex after a first date if I'm really vibing with the person and if we've been talking for a bit before. Girls, this is not what happened.

Part 2: The Meeting

I get ready, and I drive to the mall. I park, we text on where to meetup and I head over to the Gamestop. I see her at the counter, go up and I'm like "are you buying Pokemon cards?" She starts laughing, she says "I didn't want you to see this!" I'm laughing, I told her it's cute, she finishes paying and we walk around. Cute start and thennnn it all starts to go downhill from here.

As we are walking out of the Gamestop, a minute and thirty seconds into meeting this stranger, she wraps her arm, not around my waist...but around my ass. And pulls me close. I'm instantly uncomfortable by how close this gesture is. She starts cooing in my ear about how she's "so glad I'm not a catfish" and "if I like her vibe because she really likes mine". We met not even 5 minutes ago, I have not had time to evaluate any vibes! But anyway! She asks if she wants smoke 🍃 so I agree, and we go outside, right across from where we just were.

I get to take like 1 hit from this pen, she then steps close to me and says "I'm so glad you're real" kisses me and squeezes my ass. I again feel the need to emphasize that at this point, it has still been less than 5 minutes since we've met, and we have exchanged about 10 messages only a couple hours prior. This is a stranger to me. ANYWAY.

We go back inside, she asks if I wanna walk around, I agree. We chat for a short bit of time, before we go to the food court. I wasn't hungry, so she got some food and we sat and talked. I had made some mention about my past and she wanted to know more so I'm like "okay, I'll give you my lore while you eat" so I basically tell Chicle my life story. Afterwards, we go to walk around more and I start trying to ask her questions so I can get to know her more. It becomes very apparent that she is not interested in getting to know each other lmao. I ask what she does for work, and what she's interested in, and she tells me she's interested in getting into (something animation related) and i'm like "oh ayo, that aligns with what I do" and start trying to get more info cause i'm curious, annd I get just the shortest fucking answers. Ok.

She ends up making a comment about how I'm probably more experienced than her, and I'm like "oh really? Well how many people have you been with?" and Chicle asks "are we counting online?" Now, there is nothing necessarily wrong with this...but it does become more clear on just how "online" this person is. Anyway, she has only been with a few people, never had a partner. It becomes very clear as to why she may have never had a partner.

Part 3: Inappropriate Behavior

We are walking around the mall, stopping in a few stores to look at stuff. Chicle is walking next to me and I am still trying to invoke conversation. But Chicle is not interested in conversation, because instead, she is deliberately and blatantly staring directly at my tits. What I mean is, mid-walking, she is at my side, craning her head to the side to make it incredibly clear that that is what she is doing. I straight up ask "are you...staring at my tits?" she confirms as such, and says something about her being a dog. The dog thing will come up again.

Chicle is at different points, holding me, kissing me, and saying various suggestive things. She grabs me and whispers in my ear "do you want to go back to my room" and I nervous laugh and say "uhhh, we'll see!" At another point, she says "you're so small, you want me to manhandle you and throw you around?" and I again nervous laugh. We're like in Hot Topic, and she start trying to makeout with me and grabbing my ass and says "you're making me so hard"(we'll put a pin in that) and I push her away and say "not in public". I can do a little PDA but this is a lot, and at this point I have known her for about 40 minutes, maybe an hour.

Continuing on, as we're walking through this crowded mall, she drapes her arm over my shoulder and starts grabbing my boob and trying to pinch my nipples, which I immediately pull away from and again say "not in public". Chicle again says "do you wanna get out of here and go back to my room" and I'm questioning what exactly she means, because the phrasing is a little weird. "what do you mean 'your room'?" and she says "I have a hotel room" so I'm a little confused cause I thought she lived in the area. She does.

"i got us a room"

Ya'll, this bitch preemptively booked a MOTEL ROOM without even asking me.

At this point, she has asked multiple times and each time I nervous laughed and said "haha maybe, we'll see, ehhh we'll see" To any normal person, my body language was extremely clear that I was uncomfortable. And again this is not a callout post, she is not a bad person, and everything that ultimately happened, I did consent to. But I will not sugarcoat the fact that this behavior was definitely inappropriate harassment, and there was absolutely some pressuring with the continuous asking. But as I mulled it over, there were 2 reasons I ultimately decided to agree and meet her at that motel.

I was craving intimacy

I had never done something like this before so..fuck it, let's do it for the plot.

And so, she gave me the address, we got in our respective cars, and we met at the motel.

Part 4: The Motel

We go to the room, put our stuff down, and I go to use the restroom. I'm thinking "oh shit, this is weird but alright, let's see what happens"

I come out of the restroom, wash my hands, and she comes over and we start kissing. Already it's fucking weird because the way she is kissing me is so goddamn fast, it's like someone inhaling a meal because they think it's gonna run away from them. Now idk about ya'll, but I like a slow, deep kiss. So already it's a mismatch, but whatever. She lifts me onto the sink, despite the weird kissing, it's hot. She has some really minty gum in her mouth, hence the name Chicle. Put a pin in that.

After a bit, we go to the bed, and I keep saying "how did you get me here" because honestly, I'm not fully comfortable, it's just a weird situation for me and I'm surprised I agree to it. But agree to it I did, so we get on the bed, and keep going. Now, even though she does not have much experience, she's not bad! But...I can tell there's certain things she's doing that I've seen. Or rather, read. Whew lad.

As we're getting into it, my clothes are coming off, she's saying "You're my favorite Tumblr mutual. I can't believe this is what my favorite Tumblr mutual is into." I don't even really know what to say to this because quite frankly, mentioning social media in bed in any capacity is kinda fucking cringe. But it just gets worse.

So, she's spitting on my pussy. And I, personally, have a strong aversion to spit. It's something that I tell anyone that is a potential sexual partner, but it this case, we obviously did not have a prior talk about our sexual boundaries. In this case, I'm like "okay whatever as long as it's just there" but I quickly say "hey uh, just please don't do that in my mouth or i'll throw up" lmao. She's like "Oh okay sorry sorry". But then at some point, without warning she smacks the FUCK out of my pussy, and I'm so taken aback I immediately say "UH DON'T DO THAT" and she again apologizes and says

"Oh sorry, you know I had to try that one. Like that Tumblr post, you know the one."

Ya'll, everything this bitch is doing, she is referencing posts from Tumblr. She is referencing the sexy fantasy butch/femme text posts from Tumblr and she is referencing them out loud. In the middle of real life sex.

She goes on to reference more posts, and the worst part is I know exactly the one's she's talking about. "Mutuals to lezz out with" etc etc, it's so fucking cringe, and she tells me about how she started wearing more of a certain article of clothing after I reblogged a picture of her in it and how embarrassed she is to admit that (I thought that was kinda cute actually) anyway

She's still going way too fast with like all her movements, I tell her to slow down and relax and I think at this point I mention how she did not have to do all that PDA shit from before. She says "well you know, on my Tumblr I do say I'm a dog" and then uh, she starts barking. 💀 literally starts going "woof, woof" and I tell her to s t o p. Jesus fucking christ.

Anyway, after mentioning Tumblr and calling me her favorite Tumblr mutual way too many fucking times, I'm on top of her. Mind you, this whole time, I'm kinda in and out dissociating, just due to how not fully comfortable I am with this. But ya know, I'm still going for it. Her shirts off, she has really cute boobs, and then I notice a really fucking huge bulge in her pants. And I fully dissociate. Not gonna lie, I started feeling really panicky, because straight up, I was not prepared for this. Physically, I'm still touching her, but my mind is fully disconnected, and I'm thinking "oh fuck. When she said 'you're making me so hard' was she being literal? I don't know if I'm comfortable with this. Should I tell her I want to stop? But I don't wanna hurt her feelings. Should I just take it? Well no, I don't really want to...maybe I'll just say 'hey is it cool if I don't touch it?' I mean, she's cute so ehhhhh let's just see what happens!" SO. We continue on.

We flip and she's now on top of me. She references another fucking Tumblr post, and says "do you wanna suck on this lesbian cock?", unzips her pants and pulls out...this MASSIVE transparent strap on. And I'm like oh, it was fake LMAO. Then I say "...yeah, so that's not going in me"

She ends up taking it off, I don't even know how the fuck she hid it in her jeans that entire time, and we continue on. Around this point, I'm starting to feel pretty spent, she did some other things like opening up my pussy to stare at it and describe the color, whatever, I'm kinda done and I just wanna cuddle. So we cuddle for a bit and again, it's physically nice but it's just so weird because she is SUCH a stranger to me that I can't get fully comfortable. She starts trying to start up again and I'm just not really in the mood anymore. She keeps playing with my nipples and typically whenever I'm touched in a way I'm not digging, I'll just take their hand and move it away as a silent but pretty clear way to indicate "no". But uh, I had to do that like 4 times with her before I verbally say "hey, please stop" and her response is "why" 💀 like wdym "why" bitch, cause i said so. I'm kinda surprised by this response so I start to say "Uhhhh, it's...kinda specific" and she goes "oh okay, sorry sorry".

So, honestly, I kinda just wanna go home but I don't wanna be mean and just take off. But there's also no way in hell I'm sleeping over in this motel room. So, I suggest we go out and maybe go to a club or something and she's like "uh, no. I don't like going out" 💀 like damn, maybe you should spend less time on FUCKING TUMBLR AND TRY GOING OUT IRL but whatever, instead we just go get food and bring it back to the room.

Part 5: What Could Have Been

We got some burgers, and she wants to open the Pokemon cards. We do, that's fun and cute, and she asks if I wanna keep some of the stickers that came in one of the packs.

Then she tells me that she had went to the library and checked out a book on tattoos since "she knows I'm a tattoo artist, and thought we could flip through it together." And I genuinely think this is such a cute fucking gesture, I think it's really sweet, and it frustrates the fuck out of me because of what this could have been.

I told her that she did not have to do all the PDA, it was a lot and it was excessive. She is not apologetic about it, and says that the reason she was like that was because "she needed me to know what her intentions were and that this was not just a 'friendly' meeting." so I reiterate that she did not have to do ALL OF THAT just for me to know that. And she just insists that in the past, girls have treated her like just a "bestie" so she needed to get her point across. Now call me old fashioned, but you could have just verbally fucking communicated "hey, i'm really attracted to you" and I would have caught the fucking drift. But okay!!

She asks me if I have any knives because I guess femmes tend to have a knife collection. I say no. And she fucking pulls out this huge ass lethal switchblade thing and is like "this is mine!" and i'm like oh god, this is it, I'm gonna fucking die in this motel room. But she doesn't kill me, she just shows me the cool knife and then puts it away. I have known this person for like 4 hours.

So, we flip through the book, and it's funny and cute, but she keeps trying to kiss me and instigate, and i'm just not interested, I just wanna flip through the book and go the fuck home. And that's pretty much what happens, we finish, I'm like "aight, ima head out" but

before i do

we end up making out again and then I think she was helping me put my shoes on?? she's on her knees in front of me and...she asks me to spit in her mouth. Once again, I have a major aversion to spit and i really, truly, do not want to spit in her mouth. But she says please...so I do like a half assed spit and hope it's good enough. She asks me to try again....so I get an accumulation and spit in her mouth, and she swallows it and i am so so sad about it 😭 and I finish getting my shit and I go the FUCK HOME.

Now here is what frustrates me about all this. Physically? This girl is extremely my type. I like the way she dresses, she has really nice arms, she has a cute face, she's really fucking attractive. She's interested in getting into the animation industry, which I'm currently also working on getting into as well. We could have talked about that and really had a cool discussion on what kind of projects she wants to do and what style she works in. She likes video games, we could have talked more about what games we like. She got this tattoo book because she knows I'm a tattoo artist, and I think that's really fucking cute. There's so many non-sexual aspects that could have made this a real fucking date where I got to know this person, and feel comfortable, and then we could have had really great sex because straight up, the girl was good. She may have learned it from Tumblr, and some of it was weird, but for the most part? She was damn good, especially for only having limited experience. This could have turned into something real! But NO. Chicle, instead, wanted to grope my tits in front of families an hour into meeting me, and made no effort to really let me get to know her in any capacity whatsoever! And it's not like she wanted this to be just a one-night-stand, because she had told me she was looking for a gf and asked me what I was looking for!

It just could have been so much better than this weird ass situation. And after the fact, she texted me and I answered a couple times, but when the following morning she said something to the effect of "it felt so good having you on my lap" I just never answered. Because prior to this, there was absolutely no established relationship, friendship or otherwise. And I could not see anything moving forward, because we couldn't backtrack into the aforementioned "could have been". I considered communicating how I didn't actually feel super comfortable with how things went, but I ultimately just decided to not reply. Shitty on my part, but again, there was no prior anything. And we just never spoke again, we remained mutuals, and so I never talked about this because uh, obviously she would see it. But since she blocked me, heyho now you all get the story!

Part 6: Epilogue

Now, the reason I decided to call her Chicle (Spanish for Gum)

So, while the nice minty gum was a nice gesture, her spitting that gum juice all over my vagina resulted in me getting a yeast infection💀 No more hookups.

So what lessons did we learn!

It's important to talk about sexual boundaries before having sex with someone!

Internet fantasy is not real life! Don't just do shit because you read about it in a fucking internet post or saw it in porn! (Especially when that person doesn't even make those kinds of posts, i don't reblog most of those for a reason)

Don't chew gum before going down on someone

Communication overall is really important for setting up any foundation, even if it is just a one-night hookup!

(yes this is ok the RB cause I spent forever writing this and I do genuinely think it's a very funny story. Sometimes ya just gotta do things for the plot so you get a good story out of it. No regrets, and my pussy is all healed up lmao)

[grahminradarin]

Hi hey hello. I've been watching Miraculous since September, and I just finished.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS FANDOM?

That finale was amazingly well-made. I definitely get why people were disappointed, but there's no way that's everything. The writers who made the rest of the season so good are not capable of writing something this confusing and unsatisfying, unless it's on purpose. This story isn't done.

There has been a lot of focus in the season on class dynamics, but in the last couple of episodes they really start bringing this theme of how people deal with power to the forefront

With Ladybug and Chat deciding not to do anything against Chloe because it's not their responsibility even though they have the power to do it, everything with Lila, the increasingly reckless and harmful ways Gabriel is manipulating people because he thinks he gets to decide what is good for others, Gimmi complaining that no one ever summons them to tell them anything good and only summon Gimmi to use Gimmi's power.

And the thing that brings it together: Marinette's speech right at the end, just before Gabriel makes the wish, when she says the power is only valid when it's used for the greater good of other people.

And then the statue of Gabriel. Right after all of this, a statue commemorating the man who refuses to use his power for the good of others. The dissonance is on purpose. This story is thematically incomplete, and I think the London special will finally wrap it all up.

What does the fandom come away from this talking about? How interesting this all is and wondering how it gets resolved? No. The fandom on the subreddit (and some of them on Tumblr) say "The villain won without consequences! This is bad writing!" and "Why is Marinette not telling Adrien he's a sentimonster?".

I just. How do you watch that and come away with your biggest concern being "Marinette didn't tell Adrien the truth"? How do you not see that it's so much bigger than that? That's not one dangling plot thread, we're looking at an unfinished garment and complaining that the edges are fraying.

And a good portion of the fandom cannot for the life of themselves see the loom and the people working it still going. I don't know how to stretch this metaphor any further, but I cannot believe that anyone would look at something so blatantly incomplete and still treat it like it's the entire picture. It's a microcosm of a bigger issue with the fandom, which is, as far as I can tell, that this fandom wants to watch a different show. Seasons 4 and 5 are so vastly different from seasons 1 and 2, and I think the people that came here to enjoy the first two or three seasons but hated the later ones are angry with the show for not following the traditional kinds of stories in the genre.

This show isn't trying to be an episodic or somewhat serialized story about love squares and middle school nonsense. It's a deep and varied exploration of what being a magical girl does to a 14 year old (in addition to many other things), and it's not pretty. The show is trying to say "this was terrible for everyone, and it shouldn't have happened, but it did, and here's how". And most people didn't want that, which is fair. But it doesn't mean the show is badly written, nor does it mean the writers hate certain characters. It pisses me off that a show this well made, with so much time and effort and care, is constantly dismissed as a badly-written, disorganized piece of crap that people only like ironically. Something this well made deserves a more neutral presentation to let people form their own opinions, and it deserve appreciation for the innumerable things it does well, especially in later seasons and the specials.

In summary, Miraculous isn't bad. A vocal part, maybe even the majority, of the fandom just wanted something else based on the first 3 seasons, and hasn't realized it because they're so devoted to hating on the show. And it deserves a much better reputation than it has.

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 80 (Conrad and His Father)

cw: coarse language, tense family dynamic, follows the events of this post

Life after Helena Gordon's death was difficult for the men she left behind. Years later, Conrad and his father still struggled with her loss. The apartment furnishings were unchanged, and no photos to remember her hung on the walls.

Another call from his son's high school guidance counselor left Stephen Gordon at a loss. He feared their connection was slipping away.

"Another fist fight? What was it this time?"

"It was nothing. They were just assholes."

"If you keep this up, you might not graduate."

"Who cares what I do? We all just die anyway."

"Son, I know you're better than this. You want more than this; I know you do. You know your mother would want more for you, too."

"Oh, now you want to talk about her? You only bring her up when you want to tell me what a loser I am!"

"I never said anything like..." He stopped himself. All Conrad ever wanted to do was argue, and Stephen was running out of patience. "What is it that you need, son? You won't talk to any counselors, you won't talk to me..."

"I don't want to talk about your bullshit opinions, Dad!"

"Well, what do you want to talk about? How are your college applications coming along?"

Conrad grunted. "Fine."

"What major are you-"

"I don't know! Fuck! Are you that excited to get me out of this place?"

"You have to get this anger under control, son. I don't know how you're going to do it, but think about the kind of father you'll want to be someday. You can't scream at-"

"I'm never having kids. Ever."

Stephen threw up his hands in exasperation. "Fine. Don't have kids! Don't finish high school without getting yourself expelled, and don't amount to a goddamned thing! Maybe you need to channel this anger into working out or something."

"We can't afford a gym membership," Conrad scoffed. "The Landgraabs pay you shit money and you're still working off all Mom's medical bills."

"You're smart and you're resourceful. Figure it out! But you're not moping around here, and the next time you get in a fight at school, I'll pull you out and force you to work Landgraab security with me for the rest of your miserable existence."

In a huff, Conrad locked himself in his room. Despite his nihilistic outburst, he pulled out his math homework and focused on the equations to calm his mind.

His mother would never approve of his grades slipping, especially now that he was less than a year from his high school graduation. She'd left them, but her ambitious spirit still flickered quietly in her grief-stricken son. He was only doing these stupid equations for her. "I hope you're happy," he muttered under his breath.

He hated how close she felt - like she was always just a phone call away - even though she was gone. It was so unfair.

After an hour, his father knocked on the door. With a roll of his eyes, Conrad stood to let him in. Right away, Stephen sat on the bed. "I'm sorry I yelled at you," he said. "I've just tried so hard to reach you and I'm at my wit's end."

"It's fine. I thought I might head down to the gym tomorrow and see if they're hiring. I'm pretty sure employees get free memberships."

Stephen Gordon grinned proudly. "I said you were resourceful, son. I think that's a great idea."

So Conrad got a part-time job at the local gym, scrubbing the toilets and changing rooms in exchange for free use of the machines. His embrace of physical activity helped get him through his senior year.

His grades got him into Foxbury Institute for Computer Science, and he even started looking to his future with a renewed sense of excitement.

On his graduation day, the smiles he shared with his father were genuine, even if both could feel Helena's absence as strong as ever.

"She's so proud of you, son. I know she is."

He nodded, careful not to get wrapped up in referring to his mother in the present tense. "She would be."

Off on his own in Britechester, Conrad took his new independence seriously. He and his father had nowhere near enough money for him to blow off his education and waste the tuition.

He spent long hours studying in the old library, and it wasn't long before he found a local gym to help manage his emotions.

Pappy Murphy had been a boxer, and Conrad was drawn to the punching bags. Treadmills and weight machines couldn't match the pummeling he could give his own emotional baggage with a set of gloves and a bag.

The gym soon became his home away from home, and he spent time there as often as he could... ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

WCIF Boxing Gym? Pappy Murphy's Boxing Gym by SimDoughnut in the Sims 4 Gallery. I didn't realize until after I placed the lot in game, but it comes with a secret underground Fight Club-esque fight room and creepy scientific lair, too (with a weather machine in it!) and this place is screaming for some storyline but (for now!) it's only in my flashback save.

Fun discovery, because I was literally just looking for a gym in the gallery with boxing equipment so I could try to isolate whatever mod script was preventing me from placing punching bags in any gym after the last patch (it was Mercuryfoam's Martial Arts mod, and that's a bummer because I want this skill back from Sims 3 very much and I believe the mod is no longer being updated!)

[tomssexdoll]

Tom 2010 x fem!reader, they were fighting about something and then rough fucking

yesss! ofc ofc

Betrayed

PAIRINGS: Tom 2010 x Female reader CONTENT: ANGST (quite long sorry i love writing angst) + SMUT + FLUFF SYPNOSIS: You and Tom have been having a pretty rocky point in your relationship for a while, when you try to fix things all your attempts are shut down by him, you're sick of how he treats you and leave, 2 days later you're back with him and get freakyyytehehehr A/N: IM SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS WARNINGS: tom!dom, reader!sub, p in v (missionary and cowgirl), degrading, arguing, nipple play

I've been trying to fix Tom and I's relationship for weeks, getting him presents, cooking him dinner, planning dates, trying to initiate sex. Yet all my attempts were pushed away, I was convinced he was cheating on me because he NEVER missed an opportunity to fuck me. He's just been acting so weird, I don't know how it got to this point.

We've been dating for 3 years, we've always had a healthy and happy relationship but these past few weeks changed drastically.

One day he came home super late again, this was the 5th night he came back at 2 in the morning, I was pissed when I heard the door open. I was on the couch, waiting all night for him to get home, not only was I furious but I was also worried. He came in, a smug look on his stupid face. I decided I was done with his bullshit, I needed to confront him.

"Where the fuck have you been?" I called out to him, not turning my head. He grunted and took his shoes off, "work..just..let me sleep" he groaned, "well 'work' doesn't keep you out this fucking late!" I yelled, he turned his head to me and glared deeply "shut up! just shut up!" he raised his voice. I stood there shocked, he had never raised his voice at me ever. He didn't even apologise, he just walked off to the bedroom.

I ran after him and grabbed onto his arm, "you don't get to just walk off! I'm trying to talk to you about this!" he roughly pushed me away "there's nothing to discuss" he said coldly, "tom! stop!" I choked out a sob as he spun around, facing me "you wanna know why I'm never home? Huh? Cause i'm fucking sick of you! Sick of all of this!" he screamed and slammed the bedroom door.

My heart skipped a beat as he said that, tears welling up in my eyes, I ran to the couch and started sobbing. I couldn't believe what just escaped his lips, such mean and kniving words.

A few hours later I felt Toms arms wrap around me, I had cried myself to sleep. I lifted my head and looked up at him, "im sorry for what I said baby..please..forgive me" he pouted, I was going to give in when I saw the large tent forming in his pants. I scoffed and pulled him off me, standing up.

"You know what? I'm done" I said, not even raising my voice, I was so calm that it was terrifying. He looked at me confused, "what? didn't I just give you what you wanted?" I couldn't even believe the words coming out of his mouth, such stupid words. "Fuck you Tom, I'm leaving" I grabbed my phone and purse, walking out the front door and slamming it behind me before I could hear what he had to say.

I called Bill, Toms twin brother and decided to stay at his house for a while.

Toms pov: As she left I yelled profanities loudly in german, hitting the couch violently. "Scheiße!" I started to cry, realising what I had done, the ways I'd been mistreating her all because of work.

I needed to get her back, in any way that I could.

Y/Ns pov:

After days of Tom calling me and texting me non stop I decided to go home and address the situation, I wanted Tom to feel bad for what he did and realise what he lost but not to the point where he went crazy, I still wanted my Tom back.

As I arrived back home I opened the front door, I saw Tom on the couch sobbing, my heart broke a little but I told myself I needed to act tough. He turned around and saw me, his eyes widening.

He got up and ran towards me, engulfing me in a hug. Part of me told me to push him away but the other half told me to let him do it. He needed it as much as I did.

And that's what I did, I let him wrap his strong arms around me and kiss me on the head repeatedly. "Baby...schatz..I'm so sorry for how I behaved, I don't know what got to me I was just stressed with work and I didn't mean anything I said..I don't want to lose you, you're the love of my life" he sobbed, nuzzling his head into my shoulder.

I sighed "it's ok Tommy.." I pulled away from his hug and set my things down on the counter, only to be met with a dozen roses, chocolates, all my favourite snacks and a really cute teddy bear.

I chuckled at all the things he got for me, he walked behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I'm so sorry baby.." I turned around and looked up at him, kissing him passionately, he returned the kiss a bit more roughly, biting my lip.

As we pulled away I looked into his eyes, lust flashing over them. I leaned in and whispered in his ear "I need you..." he nodded and picked me up, rushing to the couch and plopping me on there. I layed back on the couch as he climbed on top of me, kissing down my neck to my breasts. He took of my pyjama top to reveal my hard nipples, he groaned and latched onto my boob, sucking and biting it softly. I moaned and rubbed my knee against his clothed erection. He moaned softly and continued let go of my boobs.

"Fuck..need you so bad.." he groaned, reaching down for my shorts and pulling them off, along with my panties. He leaned down and kissing my pussy softly "you're so wet shatz.." he smirked and came back up, pushing his boxers down to reveal his hard cock. It slapped against his abdomen, standing perfectly and throbbing.

I bit my lip, the burning in my heat becoming more apparent. "Please.." I looked up at him, begging for him to put me out of my misery and fuck me as hard as he could. He alligned himself with my entrance and pushed in slowly, once he bottomed himself out he started at a fast pace.

Thrusting in and out of me hard and fast, slamming his hips into mine. I moaned loudly as I felt his tip hit that gummy spot in me, grabbing onto anything I could. "fuck..so good" he moaned lowly, grabbing onto my hips tightly and leaning down, kissing my neck softly.

He continued to drill himself into me, beginning a punishing rhythm that left no doubt who was in control right now. "That's it baby..take my cock like the good little slut you are" he grinned, pounding into me without mercy.

Each thrust caused my whole body to shudder with pleasure, a knot forming in my stomach, the way he looked at me while his cock was sliding in and out of me was mesmerizing. His tip kissing my cervix. I rolled my eyes back, wrapping my legs around his waist to bring him in more.

"Fuck! I'm gonna cum!" I screamed out in pleasure as my orgasm crashed down, cumming all over his cock. He chuckled and continued at his pace, eventually cumming in me with a loud moan.

As he kissed my neck again I felt the cold metal of his piercing grazing against me, making me shudder again. "You like it when I'm rough, don't you shatz?" he gripped my hair tightly, yanking my head back to expose my neck further, sucking and biting on it harshly, leaving dark purple marks peppered everywhere.

I whimpered as he found my sweet spot on my neck, continuiously sucking and kissing it. "You like that, hmm?" he smirked, I nodded "mhm! so good!"

"Cmon baby, ride me" he sat back on the couch and I got up, crawling into his lap. I hovered over his cock as he positioned himself with my entrance, slamming his cock back in, "fuck!" I yelped.

This new angle made it feel like his cock grew by 2 inches, hitting my g spot violetly. As I started to ride him he threw his head back, groaning lowly. "mm! Fuck!" I cried out, moving my hips and bouncing up and down.

As I continued to ride him my legs got tired and he noticed this, he stopped me mid bounce "let me do the work baby.." he smiled and kissed my cheek, pulling me forward onto his chest. He rammed his cock into me, continuing his brutal pace from before.

I moaned loudly and held onto him tightly.

He grabbed my ass roughly and slapped it, causing me to jolt a bit. He chuckled "sorry prinzessin, you're just so sexy i can't help myself" kissing the top of my head.

"M'gonna cum baby, cum w'me ok?" he moaned, grabbing onto my ass tighter and pounding his cock into me, I nodded slowly, his cock putting me in a dumbed out state.

We both moaned loudly as we came, he shot his thick cum into my hole, coating my walls and I came all over his cock, drenching it in juices.

He fell back a little and panted, we both tried to regain our breath. "Holy fuck..I don't think we've ever fucked that hard ever.." I blurted out, my heart beating at lightning speed. "Mhm.." he replied.

After a few minutes of chilling out, Tom grabbed a blanket that fell on the floor earlier, covering us in it. "Rest liebe, I love you so much and I'll do everything to make it up to you.." he kissed the top of my head and I smiled, his cock still deep in me. 'We'll just stay like this for a while ok?" he lifted my chin, I nodded and kissed him softly.

E/N: this was so long you guys better have read it all 😔😔

[signanothername]

Hiiii! First, I just want to say I love your art so much, honestly, it's the best fanart of these characters I've seen!

But I have a question, because I was just looking at your art of Nightmare and Killer. And whenever you draw them together, they’re often really touchy with each other??.

I’m not sure how to phrase it right, but for example, Nightmare seems to touch Killer’s face a lot or wrap a tentacle around him. And Killer also sometimes just holds him or in that one piece of art, rests his head on Nightmare’s head. It just shocked me a little because I would think Nightmare doesn't like people touching him or vice versa.

Am I overthinking this or something? But yeah love you art bye!!

Hello!! Awww thank you smmm!!! <333333

And I’m glad you noticed >:))))

Cause you’re absolutely right, I draw them super touchy with each other

And I do that for different reasons depending on each of the two of them

Killer (especially in stage 2) tends to be a bit touchy and has zero regard for personal space, and that’s cause Stage 2 is usually completely disassociated from the world around him and from his own body, and with his inability to feel emotions there’s nothing to truly ground him and tell him that what’s happening around him is actually happening

So how does Killer deal with his inability to tell what’s real and happening in the present and what’s not? By either pain, or touching anything/anyone, he would touch whoever’s in his vicinity, regardless of who they are

Nightmare is literally his boss and master? Fuck it he needs to tell whether Nightmare’s really there or not, feeling Nightmare’s negative aura isn’t enough

That of course doesn’t mean Killer doesn’t have his own boundaries with touch, it differs from stage to stage, but regardless of which stage he’s in, and despite stage 2’s tendency to touch people, he still keeps his hands to himself most of the time actually

Nightmare on the other hand, is definitely the type of person who doesn’t want to be touched, in fact I mentioned before that Nightmare is autistic af and has an aversion to touch if he isn’t the one to initiate it, it makes his nonexistent skin crawl when he’s touched without permission, he’s fine with touching people if he was the one to do it, but if it’s vise versa and someone else touches him he’d probably be resisting the urge to kill them (he can be semi-fine if he knows it’s coming)

But the thing is with Nightmare is that he’s masking his autism like crazy, so whenever he’s touched by anyone he pretends it doesn’t bother him, there are times in which he tells whoever’s touching him to back off, but only if it reaches extremely uncomfortable levels for him, otherwise he’d just keep it to himself

The only one who Nightmare is ok with their touch most of the time, but he still prefers to at the very least know it’s coming is Dream

So whenever you see Killer touching Nightmare first, believe me when i say Nightmare is resisting the urge to kill him vhhchchvvh

But the thing is, Nightmare is definitely super touchy with Killer, as in, Nightmare initiates the touch most the time actually, why? Cause Nightmare’s a bitch and he uses touch as some sort of fucked up form of control cause he’s a possessive freak

You’d see him holding Killer’s face, having a tentacle around him, etc, as some sort of fucked up message not only to the people around him, but to Killer himself that he’s his little toy, his little perfect killing machine

Nightmare can be a bit dehumanizing towards Killer at times, not thinking of him as a person but rather a machine that’s supposed to do its job whenever he wanted, and he uses touch to condition Killer and sometimes even as a “reminder” of who’s in control in their fucked up relationship

Basically ignoring any boundaries Killer has and invading his space like Killer does, but instead of doing so out of necessity, he does it to send a very direct message that he can do whatever he wishes any time he pleases and Killer wouldn’t be able to stop it

That of course doesn’t mean he only does this fucked up shit with Killer, he also does it with Horror and Murder, just not to the same extent he does with Killer cause they aren’t as “interesting” to him as Killer is, Killer was always his favorite killing machine after all

(You have zero idea how thankful Horror and Murder are for not being as “interesting” chcchchhc)

[yourfatherlucifer]

The Villain Pt 2 (KHJ)

Villain!Hongjoong x afab!reader

Summary: After getting caught by the hero, the villain now has something to prove to him.

Warnings: MDNI, smut, death/murder, pwp, even more breeding, mean!joong and reader, crying, restraints, blood.

AU: Hero/Villain

Genre: smut

WC: 1.4k

Rated: R

Taglist: @pyeonghongrie-main @jay-scenarios @nebulousbrainsoup @pocketjoong @yunho-mp3

nets: @cromernet @cultofdionysusnet @kflixnet @k-labels @pirateeznet @wonderlandnet

Part One

Hongjoong’s head turned to stare at the man who made his presence known, “Seonghwa, glad you could make it!” With Hongjoong’s back turned to Seonghwa, he growled.

“Hongjoong.” Seonghwa wasn’t happy. He came to save you, but instead, here you are, sleeping with the enemy, “I don’t understand. What is going on, Y/N, why are you here with him?”

Hongjoong scoffed, “You’re in my mansion, man, you’re the one trespassing, whether you came here to sav-” You held your hand up in the air to stop him from talking. 

As you sat up, wrapping your arms around his neck to cover your body from Seonghwa, you peered your head over Hongjoong’s shoulder.

Seonghwa was fuming, "How could you sleep with him? He's the epitome of evil! Why him? When I've been here this whole time? Chasing you, day after day, showing my love for you." 

 "And? I clearly kept telling you I wasn't interested. I like my men bad, I like to be corrupted, in fact, I fell in love with him in high school. Never have I had eyes on you, Park Seonghwa. In fact, you disgust me." Seonghwa's heart and world shattered around him. 

Hongjoong’s mischievous laughter filled your ears, his cock hardening inside of you once again, “That was so hot,” he placed kisses down your neck, Seonghwa’s face contorted into something of disgust and betrayal.

“I’m still here!” 

Hongjoong sighed and pulled out of you, “Yeah, I’m aware.”

Hongjoong turned to Seonghwa before smirking, “I got you a present, big boy.” He approached him, hardened cock standing proud. 

Seonghwa looked away from him to you, this made Hongjoong mad, “Look at me! Not her! You don’t get to see her beauty in all it’s glory. She’s mine!” He pushed him down into a chair and forcefully wrapped a rope around his body. 

Seonghwa couldn’t help but feel hopeless, out of all the girls he has had, he wanted only you, but he would never get you. The enemy won you over to his side. He also pursued you because you were the only person who didn’t throw themselves at him. But you chose the evil, short ass man. Just how did he get you? He doesn’t deserve you. After all, of course, the first chance Hongjoong got, he slept with you. Seonghwa swore he would never do that to you, but he was just as bad, especially with all the women he’s slept with. How could a hero be such a man-hoe?

His hand clasped Seonghwa’s chin, forcing him to look, “You will watch me as I fuck her again, as I fill her with my cum once more. So that you realize, you will never have her as I do.”

You watched as your new lover approached you on the table, your legs spread wide for him. His cum from earlier, still dripping out, “My perfect girl.” His hand cupped your cheek, “All mine.” 

Hongjoong smashed his lips against yours, claiming you once more, but in front of the despaired hero this time. Seonghwa tried to keep his whines of protest to himself, but he couldn’t help let a few slip out.

You flipped your middle finger off at him, to silence him, not wanting to hear his annoying voice, “Shut up, Seonghwa, I don’t wanna gag you, well, maybe a little.” You giggled against Hongjoong’s mouth. Fuck, you were just as mean as him, Seonghwa now knew he could never save you. It was apparent you were in love with him. 

Hongjoong slipped himself back inside your wet heat with a moan, “Fuck, how can you still be so tight after I just fucked the shit out of you not even 15 minutes ago.” 

His hips rocked against yours in desperation, as if he never wanted to let you go, as if he never wanted to separate his cock from your cunt. As if he wanted to be one with you. Forever. 

“You see this? You see how I am fucking her Park Seonghwa? You will never get a taste of how good it feels to be inside her dripping cunt. How tightly she squeezes a cock, how she pulls you in.” Hongjoong threw his head back, the pleasure was rippling throughout his body, he loved it. 

He pushed your knees to your chest, able to now piledrive into you. His cock jackhammering at such a lovely and harsh pace. 

“Fuck, Y/N, you feel that?” He whispered into your ear, “I never want this to end.” 

Seonghwa was thrashing around in the chair, pulling and yanking at the restraints that held him back, how could he let this happen? Why did he follow you here? Maybe if he didn’t he’d still be free, but wondering where you were. He wanted you so bad before, but seeing you get your shit rocked, he wasn’t sure if he wanted you anymore. 

Your moans filled the room, the skin slapping was a constant, it was so loud. You were sure you’d have even more bruises from Hongjoong by the time he was done with you. 

“Gonna fill you up so good, my love, gonna fill you up with my cum.” 

You grinned from ear to ear, “Yes! Do it Hongjoong! Fill me up! Want it so bad.” His cock pounded into you, the pace lessening, nevertheless, his cock still hit your spot. 

It felt so good to you, felt like you were in heaven. Oh your family would hate you to see you like this. They’d shun you, call you a disgrace for letting them down, for letting him corrupt you, when really, you’ve always been like this. 

When his warm cum filled your walls, he nearly fell on top of you but held his strength for a bit longer, “I’d say we should go again, but, since we have a guest. I’ll have a little courtesy.” He turned to look at the crying Seonghwa, happy that he broke him. 

His softened cock slipped out of you, hitting his thigh, “Enjoy the show, Seonghwa?” 

Hongjoong walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a dagger. He slipped the sweatpants on and marched over to you. 

“Y/N.”

You opened your eyes and sat up to look at him, “Yes, Joong?” You stared at the blade in his hands, “I need you to do something for me, please.” 

You nodded, “Anything for you.” 

He grabbed your hand, turning the palm face up, placing the dagger in your hands, “ "Wanna be together forever? Then kill him, he'll constantly try to tear us apart. Get rid of him for me. Prove to me you love me."

You smiled in happiness, “Of course!” You gripped the handle, hopping off the table, your breasts jiggling from the sudden movement.

Seonghwa’s head snapped up, “Wait! Y/N, please! Don’t do this! You’ll be just like him if you kill me! Please!” He cried out, thrashing around in the chair, the chair creaked but didn’t budge. 

“And? Your point? I love him, he loves me. It’s as simple as that, what do you know about love, Hwa? Hm? Exactly, you broke hearts left and right in school and even now, so why would I ever want you? I found my match, I’d gladly do anything for him. He’s mine and I am his.” 

You trailed the blade across Seonghwa’s jawline, “I don’t understand why you can’t get it. I don’t love you.” 

You swung the blade back, “I cannot stand you, Park Seonghwa.” The blade was dug into his chest. 

“I’d gladly commit murder for him.” You whispered in the now dying man's ear. 

You pat his cheek as his head hung low, blood dripping from his mouth, “Bye bye, big man!”

You left the blade in his chest and skipped over to Hongjoong who was smiling, evilly, “Didn’t think you’d actually do it, my love.” 

You held your hand over your heart in a mocking way, “You had doubts? Rude.” 

You pulled him in for a kiss, “I love you, Kim Hongjoong, I am not going anywhere, lets run away together. Cause mishap anywhere. I’ll do it with you, for you.” 

He nodded, “And I love you, let us be together forever.”

Seonghwa’s body was never found, the two of you had disappeared from the town, everyone wondering where Kim Hongjoong went, the villain and the hero just suddenly vanishing. 

Little did they know, the man would become more powerful with you by his side. 

The Villain always wins in the end. 

[thecapricunt1616]

The Bear & His Honey - Chapter 19

Blurb (More BTC): “Baby you’re stressed- I hear it in your voice let’s go have a cigarette mm?” I gently touch his shoulder and he rolled it to get me to stop  “Jesus y’fucking needy. I said no! I fuckin quit, ok? Do you need me to say it 3 fucking times so that you remember I told you? I quit. I fucking quit, okay? has it sunk into your fuckin memory? Ok, good Now get out of my fuckin face. There’s no available seats, and I don’t have time to fuck around and listen t’you talk about bull” he went right back to plating the food and my mouth drops a bit.

♡ Chapter Inspo: "You're Losing Me" - Taylor Swift ♡ Summary: Carmy is dead set on getting a star because he thinks it will assure Syd will stay at the restaurant. Winnie is sick and tired of his attitude lately ♡ W/C: 11.1K+ ♡ A/N: Hello everyone !!! It has been a while since we have visited Carmy and Winnie! Most of you are new here, I don't think i've posted a TB&HH chapter since I had like 100 something followers? Anyhow, this is my OC fic! I hope you enjoy it. You can find the landing page right here if you'd like to read from the beginning / catch up on the last chapter By the way i'm still doing my 300 celebration blackout bingo if you wanted to send in a request! Or if none of those tickle your fancy I have a list of prompts, as well as my rules here on my masterlist! Or, If you just wanna talk i'm always here! ♡ Warnings for BTC: Swearing, Kinda verbally abusive behavior, Sad!Winnie, Alcohol/Drug use, Asshole!Carmy (thanks S3!!!)

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡ ➵ My 300 Follower Celebration Bingo! ➵ Catch up on Chapter 18!

It had been 3 weeks since Carmy had seen his mother. He had called Natalie back when he got out of the shower, and stood on the balcony for about 40 minutes chain smoking like a steam train while he spoke to her, and when he came back inside he just wanted to cuddle and watch cooking shows the rest of the day, to which considering the shit week he’d had and it was only Monday- was to be expected.  

After the bruise had gone down enough to be covered with makeup, he threw himself in to his work harder then I’d ever seen before. He would leave the house at 4:30, and not be back until midnight every night. And then, he would stay up until 2 playing around with new recipes and replating dishes over and over, thumping it into the garbage each time he felt it wasn’t just right. 

Something was…different with him lately. I assumed it was just the toll Donna’s harsh words were taking. But I missed my Carmy, my sweet bear. He had been so…short with me lately. He wasn’t texting as much, I hardly got an ‘I love you’ out of him most days, because I hardly exchanged more then 2 words with him. It was like living with a ghost, or a roommate that hated you. We hadn’t had sex since before the family dinner everything transpired, but that wasn’t even what got to me most. 

I figured he was just…distracted? I knew Carmy loves me, he wouldn’t be coming home every night if he didn’t. So that is why I had taken it upon myself to tell Richie to save me a table tonight and not tell Carmy, so I could surprise him and finally give him the absolutely adorable specially made crochet knife storage pouch that I’d even sewn fabric into and embroidered his initials on. I made sure to wrap it super pretty with navy blue ribbon and brown paper just like the colors of the restaurant before I headed down there. 

When I walked in I had a bright smile, I was so excited to see him and hopefully sneak a smoke break outside, it had been a while since we did that. I had even done my hair extra pretty for him, curled how he liked and put in one of my silky bows that matched what I’d wrapped around the present paper. I remembered when Carmy had told me that navy was his favorite color on me, and that it complimented my hair so well. I told him I would wear it more often cause it always brought out the blue in his pretty eyes which of course made him blush and smile one of his shy boyish smiles. 

“Cousin!” I chirp happily and wrap my arms around Richie “it’s been too long, how are you? Still got my seat?” I asked, he wrapped his arm around me a kissed the top of my head in that sweet, brotherly way. 

“Hey Shortstack, M’sorry we’ve been swamped- this might not be a good time f’you huh? Wanna come back another day?” He pat my back gently and I pulled away slightly, looking up at him 

“You mean Carmy is in a mood?” I ask and pout a bit. He gives me that look, and I sigh “I’m gonna go talk to him…he just needs a cigarette” I said and brushed off his objections, pushing open the door to the kitchen to see Carmy absolutely ripping Syd a new one, about what? I couldn’t be sure. 

“I fucking TOLD YOU, if it’s not PERFECT it doesn’t GO OUT. You have TWO emulsions on this plate, BOTH ARE SPLIT it’s GARBAGE “ he shouts, chucking the entire plate of food into the garbage that I truly didn’t see a problem with. As someone who came from a home where we had peanut butter bread for dinner at least twice a month, seeing him throw away such expensive food made me nearly twitch, and the tone of his voice made me cringe. 

“Carmy?” I held the wrapped present to my chest nervously, Syd looks at me, relief flashing in her eyes “why don’t we take a break?” I asked gently and go up to him, touching his hand and he pulls it away. He was angrily chomping on gum, and shook his head

“Not takin’ breaks anymore. What’s up, need somethin?” He asked, his tone nearly indifferent. I frowned  bit, eyes flicking to Tina who would usually be telling Carmy to be nicer to his girl, or Marcus who would be beckoning me over to try some sweet treat he’d been perfecting- but instead they were dead focused on their dishes. Like I wasn’t even there. 

“Babe, what do you mean? Cmon, let’s go smoke huh?” I gently rub his bicep and he shook his head again, grabbing a new plate from the stack of them beside his station 

“Refire! 2 wagyu- let’s pick up the goddamn pace we’re fucking behind!, chefs! Every second counts, heard?!” he calls out in a loud, grating, nearly barking voice. 

He was quickly met with a chorus of ‘yes chef’ and he got right back to plating some…thing? Without even a single glance to the woman he said he dreamed of being his wife. I didn't even know where I’d get started trying to guess what the little plate of flowers, and goop, and..some kind of meat? Would be. 

Well, all I knew is it was ‘fancy’ and if I didn’t like it- Richie would be really upset with me, and so would Carmy. Also, that Carmy needed a break, and soon or he’d blow his top. 

The food Carmy crafted when I saw him looked like barely a snack to me. Like - a single bite, and I told Carmy that, he used to chuckle and have me try it, but when I did lately he would get pissy and tell me I ‘don’t fucking get Haute Cuisine’ . 

But the fact he was just essentially ignoring me and my love for him and how I had gotten all pretty for him and came all the way here but he didn’t give a single shit  - it made me livid. He was really rubbing me wrong, lately . I had come out of my way to see him, and he couldn’t even take 10 minutes? 

“Baby you’re stressed- I hear it in your voice let’s go have a cigarette mm?” I gently touch his shoulder and he rolled it to get me to stop 

“Jesus y’fucking needy. I said no! I fuckin quit, ok? Do you need me to say it 3 fucking times so that you remember I told you? I quit. I fucking quit, okay? has it sunk Into your fuckin memory? Ok, good Now get out of my fuckin face. There’s no available seats, and I don’t have time to fuck around and listen t’you talk about bull” he went right back to plating the food and my mouth drops a bit.

I look up to search for Syd hopefully getting ready to yell at him for that, but she was over helping Tina with something. I swallowed thickly “do you want to maybe try that again? I don’t think I heard you correctly, Carmen” I kick his shoe lightly and he finally looks at me, fire lighting behind his eyes. I couldn’t believe that he was insulting me this way, something had to have crawled up his ass. “Because I know you didn’t just insult my memory knowing my situation. That would be really low, coming from you” I narrow my eyes in fury, the two of us staring eachother down like lions about to fight. 

He hadn’t ever dared to speak to me or treat me this way before. Ever since we’d met, he was all blushy smiles and sweet mumbled compliments. His demeanor would brighten, like his energy was being dialed up when I walked in a room. He’d practically trip over his own feet to come give me a sweet Carmy Bear hug. But lately it was as if I was fucking bothersome housefly. 

“I said” he dropped the long pair of tweezers he was using and took a deep breath, the vein in his forehead popping out and when he took a deep breath like he was about to scream I quickly said 

“Remember. Think. Think right now Carmen about the way you’re going to speak to me. Think really hard because I told you once and I’m not telling you again what happens if you ever raise your voice to me demeaningly- don’t fucking test me” I said and he narrowed his eyes, breathing deeper how he did when his top was about to blow. 

“Leave.” He said just above a whisper. I scoffed, blinking a few times not sure I believed what I heard. 

“Leave? You want me to leave? Since when have you ever not wanted me around” I asked “what has gotten into you, Bear? You’re hardly sleeping you’re- you’re-“ 

“WHAT THE FUCK COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW, WINNIE?! ALL YOU DO IS PUT GOD DAMN BOOKS ON A SHELF. AND THE REST OF THE TIME? YOU WHINE ABOUT YOUR DEAD FUCKING BROTHER. NEWSFLASH- YOU FUCKING PRISS - YOU ARENT THE ONLY ASSHOLE WHOS BROTHER DIED!! SO CAN YOU DO ME A SINGLE FAVOR? A SINGLE THING, WIN? CAN YOU NOT STRESS ME THE FUCK OUT FOR A SECOND AND  LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. UNTIL I TELL YOU OTHERWISE? LEAVE ME BE! YOU FUCKING NAG! CHRIST!!! ” He roared. His voice was so scary, so deep, so honest - tears started rolling down my cheeks before I could possibly stop them, and my lip wobbled as I held back hot, embarrassed tears.

Nat comes out of the back office “what’s going on-“ she flicked her eyes from Carmy over to me in the now silent kitchen. I didn’t even know who this is in front of me. But it’s not my Carmy, my Carmy would never willingly stab me in such a deep seeded wound, and then salt it right after by calling me a priss. I nearly choked on my tears, my heart racing and blood roaring in my ears. The same 3 words ringing in my ears 

He’s leaving you, he’s leaving you, he’s leaving you. 

“Carmen!” Nat snaps, “you can go fuck pal. What the fuck did she do to you?” She comes over to my shocked frame, heaving in breaths panicking worse then I did that night I’d met his mother. And hugged me gently, rubbing my arm 

“Go. Fucking GO get her out. I don’t need the dramatic, stupid sniveling” he brushed me roughly toward the door, without a care of the world I nearly tripped over my own feet. I was so upset, I could have thrown up on the floor if Nat didn’t give him a sharp glare as she basically carried me out while I sobbed. She rubbed my back gently as she tried to soothe me as much as she could.

“He’s so stressed, win, this is him blowing out because he’s scared about Jimmy cutting us off.” 

“S-sniveling?” I sobbed and Richie pushed open the door, pulling me into a big hug when we got outside “he- he said I talk too much about Chris” I choke sobbed into his jacket and he rubs my back gently, allowing me to cry as hard as I needed “he called me a priss Richie- w-why does he hate me now? What did I do?” I cry, my makeup streaming down my face in thick black streaks. 

“He’s a little bitch, he’s become a little fuckin tyrant since Syd said she wanted a star, honey. It’s nothing t’do with you” he coaxed, gently rubbing my back how he did for Eva when she was upset, hoping it would have the same effect but unfortunately for him my heart had just been ripped out and stomped on by Carm so it wasn’t doing much. 

“He- he knew what would happen I - I can’t. Oh god I don’t wanna break up why did he do this Richie” my voice horse and broken 

“What’ya mean hon, he’s not breakin up with you- kids fuckin whipped are you jokin’?” He said and I shook my head 

“I can’t - I - I can’t be with someone who’s abusive that way, Richie. I wish this never happened I - I wish I never came today oh god- oh god he’s gonna wanna come home later- can you- you- “ I choke back a sob, covering my mouth and squeezing my eyes shut at the realization. 

“Tell him not to come home” I pull away and wipe my face, handing him the crumpled present “and give him this. I don’t want it” before heading the 2 blocks home. He didn’t try to stop me, it was no use with the state that I was in. The only person that could calm me down like this is Sadie, and I felt I’ve disappointed her because what she said nearly a year ago now, ended up being true. Carmen Berzatto is an asshole, and he’s only going to end up hurting me. 

I stormed home, turning off my phone because I knew what I was supposed to do, and I didn’t want to be tempted to stop because people were asking me not to. I took 2 bong hits to calm down my breathing and stop crying finally, before wiping my makeup off and grabbing a box of trash bags. For the next two hours, I went around my apartment collecting any and everything that belonged to Carmy, or that I’d gotten him as a gift, and put them in to garbage bags. 

I had told him when we first started dating, that I no longer date men who yell at me, or hit me. I made sure to let him know it was the only time I’d tell him, but if he ever were to raise his voice to me in a mean way we’d be over without even having to say it. So to take it as my warning. And he should have, because I was sticking to my word. 

When I was done, I allowed myself to take an hours long steaming shower, and sob on my shower floor about everything. I couldn’t believe that Carmy had called me stupid essentially, made fun of my adhd and bad memory. That he had told me I talk too much about Chris when he knows the only way to keep your dead sibling alive is to share stories. Just like he did of Mikey, but I guess to him that street should only go one way. 

I truthfully didn’t even know who this man was. Cold, uncaring, nearly evil. I wanted to scream and sob and kick things and punch Carmy but also kiss him and I wanted to slap him for what he said but I also wanted him to hold me and whisper about how he loves me more then anything in this whole fucked up world between sloppy kisses he left all over my face and neck. I wanted to lay with him in the dark and stroke his forearm as he tells me about his irrational worries and I soothe him by telling him no matter what happens we do it together. 

Didn’t he love that? He said he loved that, that he loved me. But how could that be love? The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt Carmy, whenever I do even by accident the level of guilt I feel is immeasurable. But he so easily, so willingly hurt me about the single most painful thing in this world. Like I meant nothing to him at all. 

 I got into bed after getting into my favorite hello kitty pajamas, only to start sobbing again when all I could smell was him. I held his pillow, crying into it to stifle my sobs. 

It was a good 3 hours of sobbing before I gave myself such a bad migraine that I essentially conked out and was woken up to Persephone asking for her dinner long after the sun had gone down. “Gosh- I’m sorry honey dad-Carmy” I correct myself, feeling tears spring to my eyes again. “C-Carmy” I start to sob again, shaking my head and covering my face with my hands. Sephy jumps up on the bed, coming over and licking my forearm sweetly and I sniffled deeply, picking her up and stroking her fur as I kiss her head. 

“Carmy isn’t coming around anymore so I’ve been a little upset. M’sorry” I told her and got up, padding to the kitchen and putting on my glasses after wiping my eyes. I realized my phone was still sat powered off on the counter, so I took it turning it back on and grabbing her food for her while it powered up. I got my skincare globes out of the freezer, holding them to my puffy sore eyes, sighing softly In relief. 

I sat there for a moment enjoying the feeling of the cold compress when my phone started buzzing over, and over, and over as it loaded through all of the notifications from the day. I popped the globes back in the freezer, seeing the last 56 texts were from Carmy, on top of 17 missed calls and 3 voicemails. I clicked on the thread and to start, it was horrible 

-Fuckin really- you leave Richie with a gift to what, make me feel bad?

-Well guess what, I don’t so nice try. 

-That’s really fuckin embarassing, you told Richie to tell me not to come home?? How old are you, really. 

-Why wouldn’t I come home?? You’re being over dramatic. 

-What do you wanna break up over a petty fight???

And after I didn’t reply, it turned into 

-Fuck babe the pouch is really nice, I’m sorry. 

-Is that pouch what you’ve been working on lately? You did so good, princess it's so nice, I love you.

-I’m sorry angel, please pick up the phone :(

-Come on honey I’ll come home early and make you your special garbage plate, and bring you your chocolate cake yea?

-Winnie, really. I’m sorry baby, I love you, you know that. 

-I love you, pretty girl, please pick up the phone. 

-Ok so I can’t make it early but I’ll try not to be late, hm? we can cuddle and watch your show 

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head as I read through them. In response, instead of words, I simply send him a photo of the 4 trash bags tied up near the door along with the huge stack of cookbooks and hit send, opening my freezer once more to find something to eat. I settle on a frozen pizza that had been living in there a bit too long but when you have - had. A genius chef boyfriend, every night was something new and delicious so frozen pizza was always off the table. 

It wasn’t even 3 minutes before my phone was vibrating on the counter as a call came through, I look over and see the photo Sadie took of us at new years, big goofy 2024 glasses on Carmy and one of those large ‘happy new years’ sparkly headbands was on me, kissing out on her balcony with fireworks in the background as the clock struck midnight. I shook my head at the memory, deciding to just rip the bandaid now and I hit the green button, and hit the speaker button. 

It was silent other then the sounds of the kitchen dimming as he walked down the hallway to go outside. “Sweetheart?” He asked, as if he was amazed I answered - he should be. 

“No. Not anymore. When will you be by to pick up your shit?” I preheat the oven and grab my phone, going to sit in my bed while I wait for it to heat. 

“Baby. Come on Angel, don’t be like that mm? M’sorry, I really am babygirl I-“

“Stop! I - I’m not your baby or your angel, or your babygirl, anymore, Carmy. You fucking forfeited that the moment you yelled at me and told me I was fucking stupid and couldn’t remember anything and then- and-“ I took a deep shaking breath “and what you said about Chris? Fuck you. That’s what I wanted to say, Carmy. Fuck, you. Fuck you for making me fall so fucking far in love with you- just for you to turn around and ruin it. We had something so beautiful and-“

He cuts me off this time 

“Had. You’re gonna say we had something, Win? It’s been fucking not even a day can you hold the fuck on? Why are you throwing us away you know that we’re fucking-“ 

“What? Throwing us away? Tell me, Carmy. What did I say to you about dating men who yell” I said and he remained silent “say it.” I told him and he huffs. 

“You don’t date assholes that yell at you or hit you anymore because you learned that y’better than that” he muttered.

“Mmm. So what makes you special?” I asked, and out of everything I said that night that was a knife straight to his gut. He felt like it knocked the wind out of his lungs, because if anything at all- I made him special. I made him feel special. And for him to now believe that I no longer see him as such, what was he if not special to me? 

“Honey, baby- don’t- don’t do this” he said, the edge from his voice gone and replaced with that softness, that softness that only came with the real Carmy, my Carmy. 

“What makes you special?” I ask again, my voice shaking as I bit back more tears, although I wasn’t sure how I possibly had anymore left to cry given today. 

“You” he said barely above a whisper. I don’t know what I was expecting, it was more a rhetorical question for him to answer on his own- but that answer melted me to my core. 

“Come home right now and maybe we can talk about you earning your way back. Maybe.” I said and hung up. I sighed, sitting back and rubbing my face to rid it of tears. Suprisingly enough, it was only about 10 minutes until I heard a key in the door and a familiar 

“Honey?” 

I sit up in bed, wiping away stray tears to try and look strong as possible, but when he came in, all of that resolve crumbled. His eyes were bloodshot, he had to have been crying too. But how? In the back office? Did he really leave the kitchen to go cry? I could hardly believe that. “Honey” he said, nearly relieved that I was really there and sunk to his knees next to the bed in front of me, taking my hands and kissing them all over the backs 

“I’m sorry- I’m so so sorry, I’m so sorry pretty” he rests his forehead on the plush of my thigh, sighing softly and I resist the strong urge to detangle his curls from the day, something I hadn’t gotten the pleasure of doing in what felt like years but in reality was only a few weeks. 

“Sorry for what” I urge and he nuzzled his face in my tummy 

“M’sorry f’r being an asshole, and a bitch, and a piece of shit, and a horrible fuckin’ boyfriend” he mumbled, wrapping his arms around my waist like he’d never let go and kissing around my ribs and stomach “M’sorry honey. So so sorry. I love you” he repeated over and over, kissing different parts of me each time with slow, purposeful worshiping movements. 

“Do you really think that about me?” I asked, allowing myself to gently rest my hand on his back, rubbing at the tense muscle through his chefs coat. 

“Never. Never. That was so - so fucked baby. I regretted it the second I said it- I don’t even fucking know what’s wrong with me, I- I don’t” his voice cracks and he took a shakey breath “I don’t deserve you” he admits, his voice raw and honest. My hand trailed up, gently scratching at his scalp and that is when he breaks 

“It’s just so hard this is all so fuckin’ h-hard baby” it comes out in a sob, and I gently pull him to come lay with me. “I don’t deserve this I don’t deserve- fuck. I don’t deserve to feel good after what I said babe. I don’t deserve comfort” he shook his head and stood, tugging off his coat. “M’sorry- I need to fuckin get it together. M’sorry. It’s just- everything is shit babe. Please don’t come to the restaurant anymore, ok? It’s too much- everything is too much and it’s like peace comin home and seeing you. I don’t want you mixed up with it” he kisses the top of my head 

“Are we good?” He asked. I thought for a moment, swallowing thickly and sighing a bit. “Baby please” he plead, sitting down on the bed next to my legs and cupping my cheeks. 

“How can we be good if you won’t even let me hold you? You don’t even want me touching you lately , Carmy. Are you sure you’re still…” I bit my lip to keep it from wobbling “that you still want me?” I asked. A few stray tears fall down his cheeks and he pulls me to his chest, hugging me tightly and kissing the top of my head. 

“Baby- baby.” He whispered and rubbed my back gently “the only thing in this world that I’m sure of, is that I fucking want you. I want you more than I want the restaurant- I want you more then anything” he assured me, rocking me gently and kissing my cheeks. 

“Then why do you spend more time with the restaurant then with me?” I ask gently, hating that I was enjoying his coddling and kisses. 

“Cause I’m a way better chef, and a shit boyfriend. So I figure it spares us both the heartache of having me around too much” and the indifferent, casual tone he said it in tells me he truly believed it. That was the part about it that killed me the most. 

“Oh bear” I whisper, cupping his cheek and pulling him into a sweet, loving kiss, gently playing with his curls. He nearly sighs in relief in my mouth, his palm spread flat along my back where he rucked up my pajamas so he could be touching me skin to skin, our favorite way. “Do you wanna know something, love” I said softly when I pulled away, planting a gentle kiss to the bridge of his nose. He rested his forehead on mine, eyes fluttering shut as he got lost in the much needed affection. 

“Hm” he didn’t even have the ability to make some self deprecating joke, he could only focus on the way his heart felt steadier then it had all day now that he was back in my arms. 

“If I could spend every waking moment with you, I would. Because you are my favorite person in this world, there is not one other being I’d rather be with day to day, even Taylor swift” I joke which earned a small smile from him

“That’s a lie, but thank you baby- I wish I could be around all the time, but I fuck up too much” he sniffled, and I wiped the stray tear stains from his cheeks. 

“It’s the truth. And how do you mean, you fuck up baby? You are so good at being a boyfriend - today was the first time you’ve ever been nasty to me. And definitely the last, hm?” I confirm and he nodded quickly

“The last- it’s the last I swear. I’ll never be mean again t’you baby that was the dumbest shit I’ve ever done in my life. Y’my best girl, my favorite, perfect angel” he kissed my forehead and snuggled me close, gently petting my hair. We were quiet for a moment, just enjoying each others touch when he said “this is getting long” he whispered as he plays with the ends of my hair that brushed the mattress even while I sat in his lap. 

“Mm- I thought you like it long” i kiss that pulse point on his neck gently to assure he was still calm, happy to feel the steady beat beneath my lips as I lingered for a moment, smelling the last bits of his cologne and the kitchen smell from the day on him that I loved so much, distinctly Carmen. 

“I do. S’fun to play with” he rubs my back gently and rests his lips on the top of my head in a prolonged kiss, shutting his eyes and lingering for a moment, savoring the smell of my shampoo and hair oil that I’d actually gotten him to start using and to his surprise it did make his curls way less frizzy. The humid, Chicago summers were always his least favorite because it gave him a super curly Italian Afro that would go frizzy by the end of the day in the kitchen, but I loved it more then anything. 

“Will you shower with me?” He asked after a few moments of silence, with his cheek mushed on the top of my head. I sigh softly “I had a long shower earlier, I’ll sit with you, though. My pizza should be almost done” I said and he lays back on the bed, taking me with him and I giggle a bit as I roll on top of him and he lets out a satisfied hum at his newfound weighted blanket. 

“Never mind. Kinda want pizza” he adjusted my thighs so I’d straddle him and I tucked my hands under his back, kissing his neck gently as I usually would after a hard day, moving from his forehead to his nose and his cheeks then his lips and chin, then his jaw, then his neck, then his chest and arms and hands. I knew he loved it, because he’d sit with his eyes closed every time and essentially let me kiss him to sleep, it was quite adorable actually. 

“M’serious baby. Never again, ok?” I said softly when I finished, laying comfortably on his chest with my cheek mushed against it and he took a deep breath.  “Never again”

After things had calmed down a bit, we both ate, Carmy had a shower, we were laid in bed and I was stroking his hair gently, my sound machine already playing rain noise but I knew he wasn’t asleep. His hands were busy rolling and unrolling my pajama shirt hem between his fingers as I was sure his mind was racing. 

“Why are you doing this, Carm. At work. What’s up, baby. Why are you changing so much stuff in the restaurant?” I asked and he stopped, his tattooed hand coming around my hip and squeezing gently. 

“Baby I don’t wanna talk about this. I’m doing it because I have to, ok?” He said and rubbed my hip with his thumb gently. 

“Sydney is going to quit if you keep talking to her that way. And then what is this for, Carmen.” I said boldly, my hand steadying on his head

“I’m teaching her” he said shortly. 

“You’re treating her how that dick treated you.” I said and he tuts, taking a deep breath. 

“Babe I’ve not even told you half of the shit that fuckface said, and trust me I’d expect Syd would stab me how she did Richie if I said that shit to her. I didn’t tell her she should be dead. I didn’t stop the entire fucking kitchen and tell them that Syd was so stupid, and slow, that we need to wait so we can give her a second to catch up. I didn’t literally kick her ass for wasting ingredients. I’m teaching her. She’s gonna thank me, I’m making her better.” He nuzzled back into my stomach and closed his eyes once again, likely expecting me to just take it at that. 

“Ahh. So that’s what your boss did, when he was doing all that. He made you better? You think screaming in your face that made you better.” I scoff lightly, annoyed he thought this was at all good “you know she’s my best friend - one of them- Syd is basically Sadie’s sister. Which makes us that close.” 

“Well y’best friend chose a career path that’s hard sometimes, honey. I’m tired I worked 16 hours today” he laid down on his side, back to me and pulling open his bedside drawer, tugging out a box of sticker looking things and putting one on his arm. Nicotine patch. 

“And when were you gonna say you stopped smoking?” I asked, still confused why he wouldn’t tell me something as big as that, Carmy told me he’s been smoking since he was 15- that was half his life at this point. 

“Do you give a fuck? Thought you’d be happy if anything. Thanks for the support I guess” he laid on his stomach, tucking his arms under the pillow, still not facing me. 

I chuckle dryly “the support. Yeah Carmy. You are the most supportive fucking person as of late.” I got comfortable on my side, back to him “see you tomorrow night I guess since you can’t even be bothered to wake me up for a kiss anymore.” I snip, crossing my arm over my chest and frowning. 

“I literally do do you want me to start recording it? Y’fuckin half asleep why would you remember.” He scoffs “fuckin looking for a fight, swear to god” he muttered 

“You’re being a real jerk right now.” I huff and he chuckled sarcastically

“Yes babe. I am a fucking jerk you knew this when we first started dating, you used to be into it that’s the funny thing”

“Yeah I was into it when it was the whole jerk to other people but super sweet to me, thing. Now you’re a jerk to literally everyone and it seems you especially like taking it out on me, someone you say you love.” I said and he huffed, annoyed as he rolled over on his back, extending his arm 

“C’mere. I don’t wanna fight like this before bed, please baby. I’m sorry. I’ll try to be easier on Syd, there. Can you come lay now. And stop actin’ like this” he said and I turn around, crossing my arms over my chest and looking at him, he motioned for me to get comfy on his chest so he could wrap me up in a hug and we could fall asleep. 

“You’ll try, or you will.” I said and he did one of those fed up slow blink sighs.

“I will be more lenient with Syd’s fuck ups, even if I’ve shown her 50 times how to do it right and she’s still rushing it.” He said and pulled me to his chest, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my temple firmly “can we sleep now?” he murmured against my skin. 

“Yes, we can sleep now” I gave in, knowing that I wasn’t going to get a better answer out of him until he’d at least had some sleep. I made it a point, though, when the sound of the shower woke me that I was going to get up and make him a coffee and some breakfast before work and hopefully we would get to spend some time together before he left. 

I made us both some scrambled eggs and toast, making sure to put his coffee in his favorite travel mug I’d gotten him last Christmas and adding a bit of cinnamon for him as well. I heard the water cut off just as I was setting the table and finishing making my own latte, and when the bathroom door opened, and he saw the bed had been made- he called out a confused 

“Babe? Y’up?” 

“In the kitchen” I called back, putting my creamer back in the fridge and mixing up my iced latte I’d made for myself. He came in, towel hanging low on his hips and another around his neck since he hated the feeling of his hair dripping on his skin. It was truly a mouthwatering sight. “Morning handsome” I said and greeted him with a sweet kiss and handing over his mug. 

“Morning babe- it’s…fuckin early- Y’don’t need to be up f’work until 8” he pats my bum gently “you made food?” He looked at the table and I nod happily 

“Yeah! I figured we could have breakfast together, right? Before you have to go to work..you don’t always have to be so early bear - you guys open at like 5!” I rub his chest gently and kissed his now soft stubble free jaw, he’d been very diligent as of late of shaving his face - sometimes twice a day. I sort of missed his stubble. 

“Yeah but I make the menu, honey. And I have to make a list of what I want Tina to get at the farmers market. I have to make sure everything is clean, I have to accept the meat delivery. And the dairy delivery. Someone’s gotta do it- but thank you, could you do me a big favor and slap it in a Togo for me? One of the plastic ones from the cabinet over the microwave that’s gonna be great to eat at work babe” he kissed the top of my head and headed back off to the bedroom to get dressed, leaving me stood alone in the kitchen again. 

I wake up, before the fucking sun to spend time with him - I’m still brushed off. 

“So we just don’t have sex anymore?” I call as I open the cabinet in search of the stupid fucking container he wanted me to put his breakfast in. 

“What’s that mean?” He comes to the bedroom door as he put on his white shirt - “fuckin shit I forgot to switch over my whites! Fuuuuck” he runs over to the washer and dryer in nothing but his boxers and plain white shirt, opening it and smelling them to asses if he could just throw them in the dryer “fuck!” He exclaims “fuckin fuck fuck” he said annoyed and pours in another cup of detergent, slamming the lid shut and setting it to a quick cycle 

“It means-“ I stop when he rushed past me, shaking my head and realizing he had completely stopped listening, anyway. “You can ask for help sometimes, you know that right?” I said and he shook his head annoyed, going back to the bedroom to grab his jeans 

“You can’t help me babe. Thanks for the coffee but I gotta go over to mine to grab my spare whites- oh- you can help with somethin’ actually, can you just throw those in the dryer when you get back up? Love you” he gave me a quick peck on the cheek, grabbing the container of food and his travel mug of coffee and dashing out the door. 

I sighed, giving a defeated “yup” and watching him leave. I sit down at the kitchen table, eating my lukewarm breakfast in silence as I think over the events of the morning. It could have gone so much differently if he just took a second. There was a fleeting thought in my mind when he got out of the shower that we could eat together and then have slow, passionate morning sex. The kind that he would mumble 

I fuckin love you, baby- you know how much I fuckin love you, right?

You’re everything to me, my whole fucking world Angel. 

You’re my peace baby, my home, my relaxation - I couldn’t ever go without you now that I have you, y’mine princess. Forever 

Into the crook of my neck as he lazily thrusted in and out of me, his words and my mumbled praise and agreements with his words bringing us to the throes of pleasure more then the short rolling of his hips. It had been weeks since we’d done that, and it would always bring us so much closer after we did. It was what we needed, right now. Especially right now, it felt like we were worlds apart and I would do anything to bring us back together. 

I pouted a bit, realizing just how much I missed him in that way, craving the closeness and the praise and the pleasure. I went ahead and opened our text thread, staring at the last which was the photo of his things in garbage bags we took about an hour putting away last night and I sigh softly. I type out a few versions of what I wanted to say, before settling on 

I miss having sex with you, Carmy. Can we please try and make time tonight? 

And sent it. It wasn’t the usual text someone would send or receive before 6 am, but Carmen and I had a tendency to not do things in classic or traditional ways. I see the type bubble pop up, then go away, then pop up a few times before I got a response of 

Baby I’m pretty busy today but I’ll try to see if I can find time maybe next week. I miss you too, my best girl 🖤

I shook my head, sighing and pushing away my now empty plate. Feeling frustrated and horny and pissed off. What happened to the Carmy that would no matter how tired he was, get under the covers and eat me until I was a trembling mess and ask for nothing in reply, but give in to my begging him to fuck me cause of how good he made me feel. That man, I wanted that man. I was coming to the realization that not having sex was getting to me. 

I send another text,

Or you could come home for lunch and fuck me like you know we both need. Or does the big, mean boss man not get a lunch break?

I bit my lip, petty - yes. But if riling him up to the point he has to come home and pound me from behind while rambling about how I’m such a pretty distraction and how could he ever say no to this pretty cunt was what I needed to do to get him inside me again, I would do it. He also needs it, he’s way too wound up. 

It wasn’t long before I got a reply 

Being needy and filthy over text isn’t gonna clear my schedule, pretty girl. I know you have toys why don’t you go put them to use and tell me how good you can make yourself feel, I know you can baby. 

I furrow my brow, frowning and just reacting to the message with a thumbs down. Asshole. 

I washed the dishes and switched over his whites to the dryer and go to bed for a few more hours before I would need to get up and get ready for my shift at the library. I listened to Taylor of course while getting ready, still in the process of memorizing the lyrics to her new album. I wished we could have gotten more time to listen to it together, but he doesn’t even have time to sleep it seems anymore, or have sex, or do anything that isn’t directly related to the restaurant. 

It was getting exhausting just to even witness. It nearly felt like I was single again, and Carmy just lived here and kissed me sometimes when he felt he needed kissing. It’s almost as if he’d fallen out of love with me and in love with the bear and its success. I didn’t know what Nat meant by Cicero cutting them off - I figured that would probably have something to do with it. I leaned into the mirror, observing my freckles around my nose. 

What if he realized you aren’t pretty enough for him?

I shook the thought out of my mind, going back to doing my eyeliner and telling myself I had to make an extra therapy appointment for this week, because the last time I felt like this was before I met Sadie and was all alone out here after Chris died. I finished up getting ready, giving Sephy extra love and snuggles per usual after she ate and then I headed to work. 

When I got on the L, funny enough I bumped into one of my favorite people. “Is that Syd the Chef Kid?” I plop next to her and her face brightens with her classic Syd Smile. 

“Pooh! What’s up carrot top, headed to the library?” She asked, popping her AirPod out so we could talk. 

“Yup! How about you, shouldn’t you be getting your ass chewed out by my ever patient boyfriend?” I said sarcastically, sitting back and sighing a bit as the train pulled off again. 

“I should…” she looks down “but uh. I took some time, this morning. You remember where Carmy used to work, Ever?” She asked and looked back over, I nodded a bit and she continued “well- it’s closing, and one of the chefs wanted to uh..talk. About an opportunity- please don’t tell Carmy I’m just going to hear him out and I-“

I cut her off “Sydney- that’s fucking awesome!” I giggle happily and hug her “what the hell- of course I won’t tell Carmy, but that’s like totally awesome! Right? You want to go different places in the cooking industry, that’s how you meet people, like Carmy did. You're so gonna get it if its a job offer” I told her. She looked a bit…surprised that I seemed excited about this, which kind of burnt a bit. 

“You don’t- you like.. wouldn’t be mad? If I left? Cause then Carmy would be all… y’know- Carmy. When he’s trying to find a new right hand, and-“

“Syd. I can handle Carmen, trust me. If anything he would be sad but he would be so proud of you too I bet!” I hugged her “just- don’t tell him until you make a decision- ok?” I told her and she nods, smiling a bit thankfully. 

“Yeah, for sure. He sent me this..partnership thing I’m not sure I wanna sign yet…At least until I explore my options” she said and I nodded, grabbing her hand and bringing it to my lips, kissing it gently 

“Syd- do what is good for you! Ok? I can handle Carmy, he’s…he’s really regimented? And yes, you leaving will throw off his routine but I can talk him down from freaking out. I’m sorry you even have to deal with his behavior, most the time I wonder why I do- but…it doesn’t even matter! This is about you babe! Let’s go celebrate - let’s go to smart bar tonight and fucking party! Cause tomorrow’s your day off, right, you me and Sadie! We’ll get fucked up. We deserve it. And Charli just put out a new album!” I grabbed her hand “you deserve it, Syd. Let’s go! Cmon. Let’s go have fun Carmy has been such a dick lately!” I said and she laughed, her head falling back. 

“God. I wish you could hear yourself, Win. Yeah. Carm has been such a dick. He doesn’t deserve you. But uh- I guess sure. Can Marcus come? He’s been bugging about going out” she said and I nod happily and clap. 

“Syd!!!!!! Fuck oh my god I’m so excited!” I giggle “pregame at yours! Sadie is so coming. Fuck Mitch I hate that prick but he’s probably gonna be there. And - oh your boyfriend?” I said and she shook her head 

“He said - it doesn’t matter. We’re not together. It’s fine. Let’s have fun, right?” She asked as we pulled at my stop. I nodded and got up, kissing her cheek quick

“Text me- I’ll be at yours after I get off work. I’ll wear that dress I lent you! If Carmy is a dick about you being late tell him I said to go pound sand!” I call as I got off, quickly heading to work since I was already late.

The day went extra slow, since of course I was excited for after work. I got home earlier then Carmy of course, because why would he ever make an effort to see me? And took a quick shower, packing my makeup and hair things, as well as a few bottles of alcohol before ubering to Syd’s. 

When I got there- Sadie, Marcus, as well as some very handsome tall British man was In her kitchen. “Hey bitches” I said and they turned 

“shortstack!” Marcus said happily and I giggle. The pretty blonde male and I meet eyes. 

“Hi there” he said and oh - oh…he’s British? Mm. Hmm. Interesting. 

“Hey” I said shut and shut the door behind me “like vodka?” I asked , and the way he looked at me made me feel we were the only 2 In the room. 

“I’m a tequila guy, but vodka does it.” He smiled a bit, and his pretty perfect teeth made me nearly weak at the knees. 

You aren’t single, just angry at your boyfriend. Behave, Winnie.

 I giggled in a way that I hoped I would read as friendly, and gently nudge his shoulder- 

Fuck. This guy is pure muscle, I’m sure his stamina is absolutely insane - Winnie! You are not single!! Stop being a perv about this pretty British chef … 

But he’s so pretty 

Winnie!  Stop!  Stop. Do you need to go home? You are taken. No matter how kind, and sociable, and funny, and fit, and muscular, and tall, and -

Winnie!!!!!!

I looked back at Syd, a fake smile on my face, as I clutched my phone, avoiding the tall, sexy Brit to my right that had such a sweet laugh and I’m sure a huge dick 

Winnow!!!

I couldn’t be more ashamed of where my mind wandered if I tried. I phone, avoiding his pretty blue green eyes - Jesus ! Why do all these men around Carm need to have the prettiest eyes!!! 

“This is Luca” syd said, taking my tote full of bottles of alcohol, and starting to load them in the freezer. “He’s here because he worked with Carm at Ever-  Richie introduced us, cause he went to check up on Jess after they said it was closing and this guy was hanging around like a dingleberry” she teased and he chucked, his eyes crinkling adorably. 

Fuck, he’s cute. And tall as fuck.

“I’m Luca- nice to meet you uhh-“

“Winnie. Winnow- call me Winnie, though.” I shook his soft hand, blushing when he brought it to his lips and kissed my manicured fingers kindly. 

“Well, Winnie, you look beautiful. Would you like me to make you a drink? You’ve brought quite the selection here” he squeezed my hand kindly before letting it go carefully and motioning to the selection of mixers Syd had set out. 

It had been - well- since Carmy had stopped caring to woo me, really since the last time someone had cared to flatter me so openly, so I shrugged and smiled. Blushing at the compliment and offering my thanks. 

“Yes, Chef Luca. Thank you” I squeeze his muscular bicep gently and Syd gives me the wiggle ‘get it’ brows as I sit down at the island. I rolled my eyes playfully, if anything she should be flirting with him. 

“Where are you from?” He asked as he grabbed a glass, filling it with ice and putting a shot of vodka before a shot of lime and I smiled a bit 

“Rochester New York. You’re from somewhere in England, right?” I asked and he chuckled a bit as he shook the drink together 

“Right. London. You’re uh- you’re Carmen’s girlfriend isn’t that right” he poured the drink in a glass and handed it over. I nodded, looking down into the drink. 

“That I am” I said quietly. I never knew these days what would come after someone saying that, he’s an ass, or he’s a genius or he is the best in the world. I was ready for the unfortunate embarrassing ladder of “he’s an asshole” but instead, I got 

“How in the hell do you keep up with that guy? What’s he feeding you?” He joked, causing me to laugh a bit and sip my drink. 

“Uh- I guess a lot of patience and love.” I said and Syd and I gave eachother a long glance. 

“Where is he by the way? He hiding from me or somethin yea?” He chuckled and I smiled, laughing to match the mood and Marcus thankfully interjects 

“Carmen doesn’t do clubs. You should know that” he nudged Luca gently and he huffed a laugh 

“I guess- yeah. Makes sense” he said, and it clicked all the sudden. 

“Holy shit” I whisper, staring at him and they all looked at me confused, staring at me silently. 

“What- what you fucking weirdo” Syd nudges me and I nod towards Luca 

“Him- him- that’s who…he like- you” I stared at him again and he furrowed his brow as he looks at me confused 

“Who what?” He asked and put his cup down

“Carmy - you? Why? What about you what are you good at what did you beat him at?” I asked curiously and put my cup down as well “he still talks about you- what did you do better? It still haunts him “ I laugh a bit “how did you beat him out, all the time. he…he worships you in a way” I said and he cackled a laugh, nudging Marcus 

“I like her! That’s funny darling. Uh- nothing. I just can ride his ass constantly but can never get ahead. Carmen is …. Something. I don’t know how he possibly manages, but -“

“He doesn’t sleep, or eat.” I said truthfully and shrug, and with the bluntness of my voice he just raised his eyebrows, eyes flicking from me to Syd to Marcus and back to me. 

“Doesn’t sleep” he repeats and I nod, shrugging again 

“Rarely- empire. You know that place?” I asked and he nods carefully and I nod as well “yeah. That place. He wants the bear, to be better. That’s what he keeps saying. So, he can’t. He says he has no time -“

“Does he know who that place is run by?” He asked

“His old Boss” Syd said. And I look over to her to see her looking back at me carefully and I nodded 

“Hates that guy. Never work for that guy, Luca he’s a jerk” I told him and he chuckled, nodding 

“Yes. That is pretty well known, that’s actually something he’s known for. No one really knows how Fields manages…he seems to be-“

“A robot” I finish for him and he nods 

“So- when you say he doesn’t sleep does he-“ 

“Maybe 2 hours a night. I’ve been telling him he’s gonna give himself a stroke - he doesn’t care. He gets up and four and passes out at 2:30. Sometimes, well- a lot of times he has to sleep until 5 and I keep snoozing his alarms cause he’s so dead to the world he doesn’t even hear them but he wakes usually at 5” I nod “and when he comes home he keeps working, he’s had to buy 3 new sets of porcelain since they’re working for their star or whatever he keeps smashing them.  My cat is starting to actively dislike him and his outbursts.” I explained. He motioned to Syd and she looked to him 

“A star. Why the hell would you want one- weren’t we just talking about it? How it’s impossible to keep” He asked and she shrugged 

“I said that too but Carmy said it’s what I wanted and I told him we didn’t have to but he insisted..” 

“How did that thing go, Syd” I look at her and she shakes her head quickly to tell me to stop

“What thing?” Marcus asks “you had a thing?” He nudges her and she flashes a small smile, looking into her drink

“Girl thing- it’s nothing.” She lied and shrugged “let’s do shots! Luca you’ve done a proper tequila shot right?” She turned to the freezer and he laughed a bit 

“Yes, Sydney we have limes and salt in England” he said, and I hopped off the counter to help her. 

“Do you think Carmy hates him because he’s tall?” I asked her, my first drink already making me more honest and this leads Marcus and Syd to both crack up laughing 

“Yo he would be piiissed if he heard her right now” Marcus laughs and I giggled 

“It’s true!! Luca my boyfriend must be jealous of your height” I said and he laughed as well, shaking his head 

“You are something. I’m seeing here how you and him work. You give em a run for his money I’m guessing” he said and I shrugged, grinning a bit. 

“He said that was you. That working with you made him more motivated because for the first time since culinary school he felt someone could have beat him, so he had to learn how to be better and make it look easy so you panicked and he said it worked- also you have funny eyebrows I love them” I giggled and Syd sets a shot in front of each of us 

“And you are very talkative, I see who’s the extrovert for your relationship” he joked “also, thank you? I think? I’ve been told” he smiled a bit and Syd put down the plate of cut lime slices. 

“Hands” she said and I offered her my hand while Luca said 

“With what?” And her, Luca, and Marcus stared at eachother for a moment before they cracked up

“Dude” she said and shook her head “give me your hand, idiot” she joked, taking his hand and he smiled adorably, cheeks painted a cute shade of pink and - 

Holy shit. He totally likes her. He wants her!

“Syd I have to pee- also get my face on. Are you coming?” I said and took my shot quickly, licking the back of my hand and biting my wedge of lime “sure” she said and took her, dragging her by her sleeve to the bathroom and shutting the door

“Okay - uh- what’s up?” She said as I shut the toilet lid and sat 

“He wants you” I said and she raised her brows, clearly confused 

“Marcus? I already told you I’m not-“

“Luca. Sexy tall British man? Looks like he should be in vogue? Yeah, that he. And he totally wants your ass! You have to fuck him and tell me if he’s-“ she quickly covered my mouth, laughing as she shushes me 

“Jesus! Winnie! You are loud!!” She said and I giggled 

“Okay well- tell me if he’s hung” I told her quieter when she took her hand off and she shook her head, giggling and flushing the toilet behind me to make it sound like we didn’t just come in here to gossip. 

“Yeah we’ll see about that, I think 3 shots is enough for you.” She teased. I got ready quickly, changing into the little black dress I had borrowed to Syd a while ago that seemed to fit much snugger now that Carmy had been feeding me so well. 

When I opened the door and made my way back to see the guys and Syd talking about some candy dessert thing that Luca had been working on and I grab my phone their conversation having brought something to mind 

“Syd- can we make this sometime? Carmy is too busy” I showed her the candied fruit with the yummy looking crunchy coating on it. She frowned a bit, shrugging 

“Yes of course we can- but why would Carmy be too busy? Is he acting like that to you all the time, win?” She asked and I shook my head. 

“Not yelling- just…not paying attention at least not like he used to. I think we’re going through a dry spell, ya know?” I shrug and sip on my mixed drink I still hadn’t finished. 

“A dry spell?” She chuckles “what are you- 55?” I blushed and shrug 

“Lets just go out! Ok! Fuck him he didn’t wanna come so let’s not talk about him. Let’s have fun something he doesn’t know how to do” I said and ordered the Uber for us on the app. 

By the time we got to the club, I had found that Luca is very funny, and also very fun- and he also didn’t have a bad taste in music. I could see why Carmy was jealous of him back when they used to work together, even though he physically leaves little to be jealous of at all, but I knew he didn’t give a shit about what was going on in other people’s heads. At least, he didn’t think about it too often since he was so lost in his own. 

“What are we drinking?” Marcus asks as we head in “I got first round” he added and we all piped up then, causing him to roll his eyes playfully “funny, everyone can make a decision when a wallet comes out. I’ll be back” he said and made his way up to the bar after he got our orders. 

“I’m gonna be right back” I told Syd and squeezed her arm, making my way around the room until I found someone who looked like they sold. 

“Hiii!” I said kindly and showed them the 50 I had folded in my hand “got something?” I asked and she nods 

“Need an 8?” She replied and I nodded, grabbing the bag when she went to ‘shake my hand’ and she took the money. 

“Been a pleasure, have a good night” I made my way to the bathroom and locked the door behind me, tightly rolling up a single I had and doing a line off the back of the sink before putting the little baggie in my bra and giggling as I feel the warm rush of relaxation and confidence wash over me. I hadn’t been able to party like this since before Carmy and I started dating. 

It didn’t make him the happiest to know that I previously dabbled in drugs, but I only did it sometimes, very rarely. Plus, what does Carmen know about a party? Nothing. So his opinion on this specific matter holds no water. I wiped off the bottom of my nose and fixed my lipgloss before making my way back out to the group. “Let’s dance bitches!!” I said excitedly pulling Syd l and Sadie with me to the dance floor and Marcus and luca followed suit . 

I didn’t get back home until around 3 head pounding from the comedown and a cracked phone screen, I wasn’t even really sure how that happened. Luca had to carry me up the stairs because I kept stumbling and he handled his liquor far better then I did. I also found that he was a fabulous dancing partner. “Gnight !! Sexy British chef dude I’ll see youuuuu-“ I point, looking up at him “when that thing”

“The Ever funeral dinner, yes darling. Now you should go get some rest yeah? Where are your keys?” He asked and I shrug, leaning against the door “dunno. Carmy should maybe be home” I said and knock on the door “Carmy!!” I call through the door and knock again and heard shuffling and the door opened 

“Where the fuck have you been baby-“ he pulled me into a hug, shutting the door 

“Hey !! Don’t be rude didn’t you even say hey!” I said and he looks at me confused 

“How much have you had to drink, say hey to who you? Hey. Now why do you look high” he grabs my face, observing my blown out wide pupils 

“Say hi to Luca your frienddd. Bye Luca!!” I call through the door not having realized he snuck away since he didn’t want to deal with Carmen questioning why he was holding up his girlfriend who was so inibreated she could barely stand and was high as a kite on south side coke.

” N’yeah Cause m’high” I yawn “kinda. Think I have a little left though m’saving it.” I said without thinking and head off to the bedroom, shedding my shoes and dress in a trail behind me as I go 

“High on what” he followed and I lay down, not even really listening anymore, the only thing filling my mind was that I was overstimulated and exhausted. 

“M‘not high” I lie after a few moments when I realize what he said and rolled on my stomach, getting comfy under the covers. 

“Winnie what did you do?” He comes over, sitting down next to me and rubbing my back lightly “what did you take, baby. Tell me” he said and I look up at him

“Alcohol” I said and he nodded 

“And?” He urges me to continue and I shake my head. 

“Do I have to look through your shit babe, really” he huffs and rubs his face “I don’t have fucking time Winnie!” He said frustratedly. 

And that was when I snapped, I couldn’t find where he got off, judging me and what I did at parties. Especially when he could hardly give a fuck about what I was doing, apparently unless I was waiting at home for him like a sad puppy, just for him to shower and collapse next to me with nothing but a “g’night hun’”

“Can you leave me the fuck alone? Jesus Christ Carmen! It doesn’t fucking matter. I bought an 8th of coke and did a few fucking lines! Are you happy? Now can I go to bed? because I’m fucking human and need sleep. I know That concept is foreign to you. Get out of my face what did you say yesterday? Oh- I don’t need the bullshit. Go to work or something.” I snap, over tired, over hungry, and with a now what was turning into a  migraine “bad enough I’m gonna have to fuckin babysit you at that dinner Friday” I mumble and he got up, heading back to the kitchen for which I was grateful, but not without a muttered ‘what the fuck ever.’  Act like an asshole, get treated like an asshole would be my behavior going forward. If he wanted to play ball, so can I. 

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡ ⋙

[ursemma]

So high school~ James Beaufort × Reader

Requested

Warnings: fluff, brief smut (my first time writing might not be too good), eating out, 18+, nsfw

Based on Taylor Swift's song 'So high school'

I feel so high school every time I look at you

I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you

I was at James's party because my bestfriend, Lydia, invited me. Every one was present here but I couldn't find the one person I came for.

I looked around trying to find him and suddenly I felt a gaze on me, I turned around and saw James Beaufort. My I felt blood rushing towards my cheeks, I tired to hide myself in the big crowd but it didn't helped a bit as he was walking towards me.

And in a blink of a crinkling eye

I'm sinking, our fingers entwined

"y/n!" I heard him call my name, and i cursed under my breath, it can't be happening, I completely loose my self control around him, I turned around and saw him wearing a blue shirt, i couldn't help but wonder how would I look in it? Control.

"James" i tried to say it loud but it came as more of a whisper, "you- you look gorgeous" he said while checking me out, not even hiding it? Bold huh?

"thanks, that's what you're here for? To compliment me?" I teased him, "no actually I was wondering if you want to play truth or dare?" He asked me while looking into my eyes, those ocean blue eyes, I felt like I'm sinking deep into them, "yeah but you know I don't know your friends right?" I asked him trying to regain myself, "don't worry about them, you know me and Lydia that's enough" he reassured me and held my hand entwining our fingers and boom my stomach was filled with butterflies.

Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights

Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me

My cheeks turned pink. We sat across eachother, and his friends spined the bottle. After few rounds they decided there were going to be last 2 rounds before packing up. So far I was safe, I took a deep sigh indicating I was tired, "already tired?" One of his friends said, "yeah I actually I'm sleepy" i answered him back, he nodded in understanding and spined the bottle, it landed on James.

"truth or dare buddy?" His friend asked him with teasing eyes, "truth", "well tell us about the first time you saw y/n!" He told him with excitement. I looked at James who was already looking at me, he gulped before answering "well the first time I saw y/n/n, i thought she was, is actually, drop dead gorgeous, I saw her laughing with Lydia and her laugh was is music to my ears, and I just wanted to get to know her more which I did actually." He answered with sincerity, i couldn't help but wonder if it's true, something in my heart tells me it is but I don't know.

I'll drink what you think, and I'm high

From smoking your jokes all damn night

The brink of a wrinkle in time

Bittersweet sixteen suddenly,

The game got wrapped up, and I was leaving for my home, but I saw James approaching me.

"y/n/n!" He called out while catching a breath. "Yes James?" I looked at him confused.

"about what I said earlier, everything is true" he said once he caught his breath, "okay?" I replied in confusion.

He took a deep breath "I know you're confused about why am I even confirming it but I just wanted to tell you, I love you, I have always been and always will, you've taken my heart that i didn't even knew was there, i look at you and suddenly I'm all sixteen, like this has never happened with me before, I was confused entire time but then everytime I look at you, it's like you're the only person to exist, I want to spend my mornings, afternoon, nights, fuck, my entire life with you." Once he was finished he looked at me hoping I'll say something.

"oh god James I love you too! I've always have been, and always will!" He then kissed me like I was a drug that he always wanted to try, and I felt like I was sixteen again, with my highschool love.

I'm watching American Pie with you on a Saturday night

Your friends are around, so be quiet

I'm trying to stifle my sighs'

Cause I feel so high school every time I look at you

But look at you

It's been months since we started dating, and here we are at his house watching American pie.

He looked at me and started to caress my thigh, I was wearing a short skirt so it didn't help me at all, thankfully were sharing blankets so no one can see us.

I was trying to stifle my sighs but his hand was moving upwards, i clenched my thighs together and glared at him in warning but he just smiled innocently.

I got up and went to bathroom, he followed me and pinned me in between his hands, he made me sit on the wash basin, "J-James" I tried to call his name, but he was so close to my face as if he was teasing me "yeah?" "We shouldn't do this your friends are here" I protested but the only thing he did was kiss me and said, "we shouldn't", "yeah" I said but my actions said complete opposite I kissed him harder and unbuttoned his shirt, he threw my top and bra somewhere in the bathroom and he pulled my skirt down.

While he was working on my skirt, i pushed his pants down and, marked his back with my nails, he attacked my neck, slowly and sloppy at first, but suddenly he bit me earning a moan "James!" "You like that?" "Yes" I was breathing heavily, clutching his hair for support.

He was massaging my breasts as he was teasing me, i couldn't hold back a moan as I felt myself getting wetter and wetter

"I need you" I confessed while kissing him, "what do you need love?" He asked as he roamed his hand on my body as if he was learning it, every mole, every scare, every curve, he was then marking it with his kisses, in gentle and sloppy way.

"you, everything, give it to me" I said with a sense of authority, he grinned at me while going down. He ate me out like I was a meal he craved for, every lick, every suck caused my orgasm to arrive, "James I'm closer" I warned him while arching my back and moaning "cum baby, cum on my tounge" he said as he licked me last time, and i came on his tounge.

He hummed in satisfaction and kissed me to let me taste myself, he covered us with a towel and we went to his bed.

"let me show you how much I love you" with that he gently laid me down and told me "spread your beautiful legs for me darling" I did as he said and he gently trusted into me "you can move" I told him once I got comfortable, he was being patient with me the entire time but I wanted more, "go rough on me James" I looked into his eyes as I said it, "you sure?" He asked me for confirmation, "yes my love" and he did. The entire night went on and, we made love.

We cuddled up finally and his phone vibrated indicating a text, "whose that?" "My friend, he told us to enjoy and that they're leaving as the movie ended" we laughed and slept into a slumber.

The next morning I woke up to being bombarded with kisses I laughed at him and he carried me to the bath, he helped me wash myself, and I changed into his blue shirt, my favourite peice of clothing of his.

We went downstairs and he was cooking for me i grabbed the whipped cream and started licking it off, "hey no I needed it for my cake!" I giggled and started running around with it, he back hugged me, and i turned around innocently licking the cream off my finger, "you're going to be death of me," he chuckled as I kissed him and we spent entire day together, with him going to practice and me reading a book, to cuddling up in bed and suddenly I felt so high school.

He was mine and I was his.

[4str0nuts]

AN ANALYSIS OF HORROPEDIAS OUTFITS: BOTH INSIGHT ONE AND TWO

disclaimer: this will be written less formally than my autism analysis ! be wary

horropedia has one of the most basic and simple(in a nice way) outfits in game, and would probably be mistaken for an npc by someone who doesn’t play the game, as he looks like a normal foundation member . however, after some intense staring and late nights, there are some interesting details within both outfits that i believe reflect both the foundation and horropedia very clearly— even if they aren’t clear!

I'll start off with his insight one outfit, a simple, neat, and basic design that clearly abides by foundation rules. Though looking closer, there are inconsistencies with his design. Despite how “advanced” the foundation is, horropedia still carries around a gadget kit; he also only wears one glove, wears a dashing green clip tie, and his sweater vest is practically untucked. Despite the foundations harsh rules, he still manages to maintain parts of his personality and hobbies, despite being silenced in the past; this all reflects his experiences within the SPDM. His inconsistencies are all a giant ‘screw you’ to the foundation, no matter how hard they tried to make him a ‘good kid'. Even so, he still has to uphold his ‘ideal self’ to maintain the little freedom he has, showing how the foundation still has this control over him.

One thing i found interesting throughout his designs is the green present. The description of his tie clip reads “just the dash of mania the routine needed”, which i feel perfectly represents his character in a simple way. No matter the rules he abides, he will always clash against the rules laid out in front of him; it’s subtle yet is a giant statement against the foundation.

Onto his insight two: scruffy, expressive, and unneat— practically the opposites of what the foundation enforces. In fact , ALL foundation references are removed from his character, the only thing remaining is his shirt. The green is now present in his shirt, vibrant and bold with a design clearly at the front. This could represent how Horropedia is still fighting against the nature of the foundation from being his own person, the shirt hiding the graphic tee as if to keep it hidden and out of sight. His insight 2 design is more outlandish and childish, almost like it is diy or handmade; his gadget kit is a great example of it, the fine design now replaced with leather and stitched up as if it was frankensteins monster. His design reflects his childhood with his grandpa, picking up what pieces there were and building his own life with him. Despite his limitations, Horropedia tries to create his own safe space to express himself. Though even in that safe space, his experiences within the SPDM almost suppress him even till this day (throw back to the shirt). Anyways, this is another fuck you to the foundation.

One thing that doesn’t really fit in anywhere is the description of Horropedias insight 2; “A little monster under the sheets and a steadfast guardian of the heart.” This perfectly goes along with what i have stated before about Horropedia being his own person and reflecting on his childhood; how he protects his heart / the things he loves so closely, his ambition will never falter.

Another thing that I've noticed is the fact Horropedia still has the watch on in both of those outfits. It doesn't exactly fit with any of the two, and I have mentioned how advanced the foundation is (look at laplace). A reason i’ve come up with (and a personal head canon) is that the watch is from his grandpa, and holds great meaning to him.

I don’t have anything to wrap this up with so i’ll take the time to mention his udimo! His udimo has a bandana representing the foundation yet he still carries around a horror movie poster in his mouth— another fuck you to the foundation. It goes to show how he is now accustomed to the foundation life whilst also trying to love put his life in his own way. That’s all that I needed to say , hope you have enjoyed reading!

[misshoneyimhome]

Sexy Christmas I 750 Followers Celebration

➼｡ﾟ

🎄 It’s the most, sexiest time of the year🎄

With just two months until Christmas, I feel like it’s time to start embracing the holiday spirit (sorry, Halloween!). And what better way to kick off the festivities than with some steamy fics? 🎁✨

So, here I am, excited to announce this year’s Sexy Christmas celebration, which also marks a special occasion: my 750 followers milestone 🙏🏼Thank you all so much for reading all the weird and fucked content I put out there! Whether you’ve been here since I started writing, returned after a break, or are new to my blog, I truly appreciate each and every one of you. You make this space what it is, and you all deserve some love and holiday spice! 🌶️

So, let’s make this the sexiest Christmas yet! 🎅🔥

In short: I’ve got 10 prompts that need to be paired with hockey players—please follow the roster ❤️‍🔥 [One player per prompt]

And for those of you who love to write, feel free to join the party with your own sexy Christmas fic! Everyone is welcome, whether it’s a simple blurb, a one-shot, or a full chapter. Or if you’ve got a different holiday you celebrate, feel free to throw that in 😉 (Just always remember to mark it 18+, if it contains mature content)

Doesn’t matter if it’s oc or reader insert 💕

I imagine I’ll start posting on December 1st - or after I've finished the requests currently in my inbox ❤️

Anyway, happy Halloween 🎃 and soon happy Christmas 🎄 

➼｡ﾟ

Prompts ☟

1. Naughty Under the Tree - William Nylander

OC unwraps an unexpected gift from her hockey player love interest—him, wearing only a strategically placed ribbon, waiting for her under the Christmas tree.

2. Mistletoe Tease - Auston Matthews

The tension between them has been building for weeks, but when they get caught under the mistletoe at the team’s holiday party, what starts as a simple kiss quickly becomes a steamy exchange they can’t stop.

3. Fireplace Heat - Joseph Woll

After a snowy night game, the hockey player invites OC back to his place to warm up by the fire. As they share hot cocoa and cosy blankets, the heat from the fireplace isn’t the only thing keeping them warm.

4. Holiday Stocking Surprise - Kevin Fiala

OC finds a suggestive note in her Christmas stocking, and it leads to a naughty holiday scavenger hunt through her house, with the hockey player waiting for her at the end—ready for more than just Christmas cheer.

5. Office Holiday Party Hookup - Seth Jarvis

OC and her favourite player sneak away during the office Christmas party, finding a quiet corner to exchange more than just gifts under the twinkling holiday lights.

6. Snowed-In Seduction - Frederik Andersen

After getting snowed in together during a winter trip, the two share a cabin. When the firewood runs low, they discover new ways to stay warm as sparks fly in more ways than one.

7. Santa’s Naughty List - Matthew Tkachuk

The hockey player teases OC about being on Santa’s naughty list, but by the end of the night, it’s clear they’re both interested in exploring who’s been the naughtiest this Christmas.

8. Christmas Morning, Barely Wrapped - Auston Matthews

OC and the hockey player wake up together on Christmas morning, but instead of opening presents, they decide to unwrap each other first, making the holiday morning unforgettable.

9. Steamy Christmas Eve Confession - Nico Hischier

During a cosy Christmas Eve dinner, one of them confesses their long-hidden feelings. What starts as an innocent conversation turns into a passionate Christmas confession neither of them expected.

10. Gift Exchange Gone Wild - Nico Hischier

A simple Christmas gift exchange between friends becomes much more heated when the hockey player gives OC something a little too intimate, leading to an explosive moment of passion.

[scenteddelusion5]

"Two households, both unalike in dignity, In our unsightly hell, where we lay our scene," PART 4

Vox x gn reader (Alastor's child)

Note: I had so much fun writing this!!! I hope you enjoy it!

Word count: 3174

Trigger warning: suicide attempt (This is based on Romeo and Julliet after all).

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

"HahaHAHAha," Alastor's laugh could be heard through the entire restaurant.

Denizens left early so they could get away from him as soon as possible. There were a few tables that stayed, however. One of them was a group of girls in the corner. Y/n couldn't really see them, but they could hear a giggle come from there every once in a while. The worst part of the dinner was how well Alastor and Paris got along. It was agonizing.

"You are one hell of a gentleman, Paris," Alastor joked. "Don't you think so Y/n?"

"Yeah, sure."

The overlord had noticed how out of his child had been after their conversation. He tried to cheer them up the whole time, he hated seeing them frown, but nothing would work. Alastor supposed it was his fault so of course it wouldn't work. Instead, he tried to get the attention on Paris in hopes he would be able to cheer them up. This was another failure.

Velvette had been texting Vox the whole night. She couldn't enjoy her food, only a few of her girls could to be honest, so instead she stared at the table in the middle of the restaurant. She sat in just the right spot where she wouldn't be noticed by the other two overlords.

They is frowning the WHOLE time Like they look like they want to leave real bad

Can you take pictures? Send me pictures Should I come over and help them?

RELAX!!! I'll take your stupid picture

Just as Velvette was about to sneakily take a picture of them, she saw Paris pull out a small box from his jacket.

"No fucking way," she mumbled under her breath.

"I know Y/n and me have only been seeing each other for a little more than a week," Paris started his speech, "I've fallen deeply in love with them and I'm personally ready to tie the knot." He opened the little box with a very fancy ring in it and presented it to them.

This seemed to take Alastor by surprise, there was no possibility his little fawn would say yes to such a premature proposal. Y/n was more... Refined than that.

"I- uhm, I will..."

What? This wasn't like them. Alastor didn't have much time to ponder what was going on when the wall exploded. His head snapped 360° to look at the destruction. As his head was turned, from the other side a glowing lasso wrapped around Y/n.

"Ẁ̸̟͎͙̰̑̂̿ͅH̷̞̦̕ͅA̸̗͉̣̝͓͆T̶̨̫͍̖̽ͅ!̵̤͍̱͓͑́̎͘͠" They looked down to the obviously angelic rope. They tried to tug out of it but was unable to.

As he heard their voice, Alastor's head turned around again. He saw the lasso around them, on the other end stood an imp with a cowboy hat. Alastor's shadow tentacles immediately shot out, but he was too late, the imp had pulled them back.

"I̴̘̹͍̒̄̚ ̴̻́W̵̨̺̌̂̉̐Ǐ̵̥̖̀̑L̶̜͂͒̑L̸̮̼̳͖͒ ̷̫̋ m̷̎͜a̴̖͂k̴̢͗ȩ̶͋ ̶̺̌ȳ̵̹o̶͙͌u̶̞͝ ̵͈̋r̷̨̈e̴̢̓g̸̳̎ṙ̴̫e̵͕͌t̴̙̍ ̶̡͗̈Ţ̶͉̥͛͌̕H̵̜͎͝I̴̭̩͛́̔͑͜ͅS̶̮͔̯͕̐!̵̡̘̀͑̓!̸̜̣̤̤̎̾!̷̦̤͕̦̄̍͆" His voice was distorted and his antlers grew triple in size. More and more shadows showed up to get to Y/n.

"Then you better hurry." Striker tightened the rope causing Y/n to scream.

Rosie was quick to help her friend but she was quickly distracted by another explosion, and another. Before they knew it, the whole building exploded and Y/n and Striker had disapeared.

Alastor's eyes widened, staring at the now empty spot where they just were. Everything become distorted around him, static filled the air and the Radio Demon grew to an enormous size.

"W̴̤͂̇H̸͔̓E̸̙͝R̷̫̩͌̌E̴̳͝ ̸͙͌̚A̵̖̻̐R̴͇̜͋͛E̸̘͠ ̴̛̫̔Ỳ̸͓O̴̳̟͒Ų̴̲̽͐?!!" Blood streamed out of his mouth down to his chin, his eyes turned into dials and the parts of hsi eyes that were usually red turned black. "W̷̘̯͕̾H̸̨͒Ë̵̢N̶̯̈́̂͐ ̸̞̠̈́I̵͉͚͌̓̀ ̵̼̦̎F̸͍̑Ḯ̸͔͔̚ͅN̶̖̆D̵̠̻̱̾̕ ̷̡̥͔̊̃Y̶̰̕͘Ȍ̵̭̜̈U̵̹͊̂̔͜!! When I F̶̼̺̲̥͕͉̖̓̄̓̍I̸̯͝N̸̡̮̥̯̲̦̩̒̋̏̂̊̒̚D̵̙̀̿ YOU!!! I WILL D̸͓͛̂̇̉Ȩ̴̟̗̫̼͎̙̏͗̓̿́S̴͖̩̹͉̣͖̑̉̈́ͅT̸̜͚͔̮̬̩̮̏R̴̟̪͓̍̍̑̽̉̃Ọ̴̡̺̝͆̍̈́̚͘Ỳ̶̙̠̻̱̥́̊̀̋ͅ ̸͈̆͗̿̂͠you!!!"

Alastor started destroying everything around him, pushing over buildings and throwing around random sinners. He couldn't find them. WHERE WERE THEY?

Velvette got blinded by the light that came from the explosion. Once she had rubbed her eyes and looked up again, she saw Y/n being pulled away by an imp. More explosions went off around Rosie and Alastor.

"God DAMN, you owe me Vox." She quickly got up and ran out the building, doing her best to follow Y/n and the kidnapper. Her efforts were in vain, when she lost them in the Vee's district.

It took hours for Alastor to calm down enough to stop his rampage. He sat down on the rubble scratching his claws into his leg.

"It's going to be alright Al. He wanted them alive so we still have a chance to find them." Rosie sat down next to him. "Paris and me will help you."

"What the FUCK happened to this place?" A voice came from the left.

Vox was sitting at home, blowing up Velvette's phone. She had just promised to send him a picture and suddenly she ignored him. What was happening over there? Maybe he should check it out, just for a second. Vox walked down to his car and got into his limo.

On the way there a notification popped up on his screen; a 666 news broadcast just started. He quickly put it on the TV he had hanging by the minibar.

"Good evening hell, we just got news that the Radio Demon was spotted reaping chaos." Katie Killjoy talked a mile a minute. The little box in the corner showed glitchy footage of a giant Alastor destroying the city. "Eyewitnesses say he is after someone. I wouldn't want to be in their position."

"Drive faster!" Vox yelled at his brainwashed employee.

Alastor's attention snapped to the Vee that just got to the scene. One of his tentacles shot out to the TV demon.

"What did Y̴̦̥̩̝̱̥̬̑̃̏͑̿̈́̀̋͝O̸̢͙͈̖͍̱̞̹̘͖̳̝̓̌̕͜͠Ü̶̦͖̿́́̄ do to Y/n?!" Alastor's shadows pulled Vox by the limbs. He was ready to tear the other overlord apart.

"I didn't do SHIT do them!!!" Vox buffered. "Where ARE they?!"

"Alright, alright, stop it Alastor." Rosie put herself in between them. "I dislike the guy too, but tearing him apart isn't going to find Y/n."

The Radio Demon let go of Vox but did keep a close eye on him. "You have one minute tell me where they are."

"I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE!!!" Vox yelled. "I don't even know what the FUCK is going on!"

"Y/n just got kidnapped by an imp with angelic weapons," Rosie explained.

"And how are we planning to find them?"

"WE?" Alastor asked. "You are going to get us to them before I destroy you."

"I didn't do it!"

"You've been trying to use them to get to me from the moment you two met."

"If you loved Y/n half as much as I do you would notice the FEET KISSING FUCKER that has actually been using them." Vox retorted while pointing at Paris.

"Me?" Paris put on his best confused face. "You're ridiculous."

Alastor was slowly growing in size again. He had enough of Vox's act. He would find Y/n even if he had to kill all of hell. "How D̸͎̤͉͑̈́͊À̸͙̱̹͎͓̀Ȑ̴̻͈͉̪͈͖̘̻̔̓E̷͍̤̲̻̠̾ you suggest I don't love them enough!" The Radio Demon shot out his shadows reaching for Vox. When he got the TV Demon by the leg, he pulled him back and imprisoned him with his claws.

Vox had to act fast. "Y-you really think Y/n would have agreed to that bastard's proposal if he wasn't blackmailing them!!"

The Radio Demon stopped in his tracks. He was right, they would never had agreed. He shrunk again, now turning to the cannibal demon. Y/n had been acting weird... But what would be enough to blackmail his child? He was one of the most powerful overlords in hell, anyone that messed with them messed with him. Y/n had to just come to him and he would take care of everything.

"Stop spewing such nonsense, of course Y/n would want to marry me!" Paris yelled literally looking down on Vox who was still pinned to the rubble. "Only someone like me is worthy of marrying the Radio Demon's child."

Alastor had never heard Paris spoke in such a way before. If the demon was just an acquaintance, he wouldn't have mind it, hell maybe even encouraged it! But this was the man who had been courting his child. His child who would've hated to be put on a pedestal, especially if it was for simply being the Radio Demon's child.

Alastor turned to the man. "Paris? What did he mean by 'if he wasn't blackmailing them'?"

"... You aren't believing what this filth is spewing, right?" Paris' face gradually turned from confusion to fear when he realised the demon wanted actually wanted an answer. "I... Of course, I didn't!" He began to sweat. "I-I would never..."

Alastor knew how men looked when they were scrambling for anything that would save them, a lie, a knife, a rock, anything. He had seen it over and over again on his victims, on his father.

"Listen, you have Ỡ̵͉̰͋̀̅̄̀̈́N̵͉͎̦͖̼̖̣̼̣̈́̌̃E̶̛̖͐̀̕͝ chance tell me the truth or you will be the next voice on my broadcast." Alastor loomed over Paris, symbols and static surrounding him. "I'm all ears."

"I- uhm..."

"It's not wise to lie dear," Rosie advised him, "it'll only make things worse."

"I-it's true." He mumbled but it was loud enough for Alastor to hear.

Before Paris knew it a black hole was opened up underneath him. Giant, black tentacles dragged him down, deep in the unknown.

"I'll deal with him later, now, you." He turned to Vox who was still traumatised by what he just witnessed. "E̵͙͇̳̬̬͐́X̷̣̭̫̞̄̔̿̀͘P̸͍̜̯͉̂̀̓̾̋̕͜Ĺ̵̪͌̋͌͘A̷̤͍͎̓͂͊̏͜ͅI̸͍̊͝N̶̫͇̥̅̆̒́̍͐!̵̡̭̲̱̭͝ Please."

"It doesn't matter how many times you threaten me-" Vox slowly stood up. "- or how many times you beat me up." He continued to confidently walk up to Alastor. "My answer is still the same fuckface!!!" His face was pulled into a frown and he shoved his finger into the Radio Demon's face. "I LOVE Y/N!!!!"

Alastor was put off by his enemy's attitude. This wasn't his usual front in which he pretended to be strong and confident. For the first time he saw the genuine Vox shine through.

"Fine then, prove it." The Radio Demon straightened his suit jacket. "Are you willing to risk your life and soul finding them?"

"Without a doubt and I know exactly where to start."

The three overlords were walking into the Vee tower, up the elevator to Vox's office. For anyone walking by it was a strange sight. Vox, the overly controlling and vengeful overlord inviting his rival into his office... And Alastor agreeing! This would have been the talk of the town if Vox hadn't mind controlled every single one of his employees to stay quiet. He has an image to uphold after all.

Alastor looked around the office, it was... Something. A circular door with the VoxTech logo on it let the three overlords into what he could only describe as a monstrosity of a workspace. The Demon's office was a circular platform surrounded by a sort of, very deep, mote. In the mote swam robotic sharks. The walls held a thousand screens, each showing the footage of a different camera. On the platform hang even more screens in front of a single chair and a desk.

"Talk about being paranoid." Rosie said looking around the room.

"Only a madman would have this much surveillance." Alastor quipped.

"Well the surveillance of this mAdMaN is going to find Y/n, so shut up and let me concentrate."

"Of course." The Radio Demon nodded his head. "And how exactly?"

Vox rolled his eyes. If Alastor wanted to look down on him that's fine but the man isn't going to distract him from finding his love. "Well I'm going to try and restart the tracker in their phone."

"Their what now?"

"Their phone that I gifted. I had disabled the tracker but I might be able to restart it remotely," Vox explained.

"You gave my child one of your picture phones?" Alastor's eyes turned into dials. He couldn't believe how much Y/n had been hiding from him, it was a lot to find everything out in one evening.

"Yes, I wasn't able to contact them otherwise because of their overprotective freak of a father." Vox was typing away on his computer, getting past the firewall and excessing their phone settings.

"You-"

Alastor promptly got cut off by Rosie. "How about we deal with all this fighting and secrets later? Now we should focus on Y/n."

"Fine," Alastor sighed, "how long will this take?"

"Almost done I just have to excess the hidden settings and..... it's turned on!" Vox zoomed in on the map that showed the entire pride ring to the little glowing spot. "That's weird, it says they're on your territory, right by your garden."

"I doubt this kidnapper would have taken them to my house."

"How about I go take a look and you two try looking for something else?" Rosie proposed. "As long as you two stay civil with each other, of course."

"Don’t worry." Vox mumbled while all his focus was on the screens.

"That's not going to be a problem," Alastor said with a strained smile.

Rosie left the two of them alone. Maybe this would be good for them, she thought.

"I will never accept you as my son in law." Alastor stated.

"I know." Vox connected himself to the computer. This way it was easier to look through the thousands of security camera's around hell. "But I also never wanted to hide it. Whether you hate me or not, Y/n deserves better than sneaking around to go on dates."

"Then tell me my old friend, what makes you think YOU deserve them."

"I don't think I do, however, Y/n loves me and they deserves to be with someone that actually loves them back." Vox was following the tracker in Velvette's phone and looking through the cameras on that route.

"Tell me, how far along has your... affair with Y/n come?"

"If you're asking whether I've fucked them, then the answer is stage minus twenty. We've just been going on dates and talking."

Alastor scuffed at the overlords bluntness

"Look at this, I've got the two on camera."

He turned to the screen that showed the footage and there they were. Y/n bound with angelic robe with that imp dragging them along.

"They are headed for the edge of town." Vox skipped to the cameras there and sure enough, there they were. The imp dragged them into a warehouse.

"Hey dearies-" Rosie entered the office again, broken phone in hand. But as soon as she stepped inside the two men were already gone. Alastor disappearing in his shadow while Vox zapped through the camera.

"Who are you? What do you want from M̴̨͈͕͍͂͘Ȩ̷̛̙̪̱̤͊͒̑̇̋ͅ?!" Y/n yelled doing their absolute best to get their hands free from the bounds, alas it was pointless.

"It's no use fighting back. Not even Goetia would be able to get out of those." The imp's tail smashed against the wall in a whip-like motion. "Now be a good little sinner and wait, he wants to come down here and kill you himself."

"Your boss is a stupid man." Y/n was able to stand up, their hands and torso still bound. They looked around, they were inside some old buidling. Angelic weapons lined the wall, from guns to knifes.

"Hah! Tell him that yourself, he'll be here soon enough." A knock came from the door. "As if right on que." Striker opened the door and as he did, he was immediately shoved against the wall by black tentacles.

Through the doorway came Alastor and Vox. Y/n started running up to them.

"Fawn, I-" The Radio Demon stopped talking when he realised they weren't running to him but to Vox.

"VOX!!" Y/n cried throwing themselves onto them.

"Y/n." Vox took off the angelic bounds. "Are you alright?" He cupped their cheek.

They leaned into him. "I am now."

Alastor was fuming at the sight. He quickly grabbed the angelic rope and bound Striker before turning to the two. The Radio Demon proceeded to pull Vox away from them, pulling him in four different directions by his limbs.

"Thanks for the help but I have no use for you now, Ģ̵͖̯̅̂͜Ỏ̴͚̥̖͍̃O̷̳͙͗̍D̴̤̽̅̚B̸̢̦͇͑̔͋̿Y̶̪͕͔͎̹̱̊̎̓̕Ë̴̫͇̘́͋͜͝!!!"

"S̶̛̛̹̮̘͔͕̰̓́̀̋̾͛̕T̸̢̡̥̤̬͇̖̟͙̜̳̦͐̋O̷̢̨̫̰̪̯̟̼̞̼͈̥͜͝P̴̙͎̓̋̔̊̅͌̈!!!" Y/n stood by the wall of angelic weapons. "Let him go, I love him."

"Darling, I know what you think but you are confused, I will fix this for you." Alastor pulled harder earning a scream from Vox.

"DAD, let go of him, or... I will die with him." They pulled a knife from the array of weapons and held it to their neck.

"Y/N! Don't!!!" Vox yelled out. "It's not worth dying for me!"

"NO! If you die, I will die PERMENANTLY!"

"Little fawn, you will have to bluff better than that." The Radio Demon chuckled. "I will teach you one day."

"I'M NOT-" They yelled, -BLUFFING!!!" Y/n pulled the knife back and stabbed themselves into their shoulder, leaving the knife in, for now.

Alastor's antlers shrunk, his eyes focused on the wound, looking at it in horror. "Y/n, this man isn't worthy of you." Unconsciously, he had let go of a now coughing Vox.

He slowly made his way to them, coughing and limping.

"That's for me to decIDE-" They pulled the knife out, blood pooling out of the wound. "And HE IS!"

Y/n tried to push the knife right into their chest but something was blocking the blade. Vox had thrown himself at him and the knife went right through his suit and into his arm.

"V-Vox, what are you?"

"You are really stupid, you know that?" He joked. "How could I just stand by and watch you get hurt?"

"I love you," they whispered.

"I-I lo... Love..." Vox fell down, all his weight came down on them.

"Vox..? Vox? VOX!" Tears spilled out of their eyes. "VOX!!! WAKE UP! Ple-ease wake up!"

Alastor just stood there, as Vox of all people, saved his child. He tried to come closer, his hands shaking.

"STAY AWAY FROM HIM!!" Y/n glared at their father.

"Y/n, you're bleeding too, l-let me help you." He tried to take another step.

"S̶̛̛̹̮̘͔͕̰̓́̀̋̾͛̕T̸̢̡̥̤̬͇̖̟͙̜̳̦͐̋O̷̢̨̫̰̪̯̟̼̞̼͈̥͜͝P̴̙͎̓̋̔̊̅͌̈!! D-don't... you'll h-hurt hi-" They too lost consciousness.

The Radio Demon carefully picked up the couple, two tentacles wrapped around their wounds putting pressure on them. Before he could leave with them, a voice came from the door.

"Stricky!! Sorry, I'm late. I saw the broadcast though." The door slowly opened. "I can't wait to kill the whore and get my Voxy ba-"

Valentino saw what was actually happening inside. Striker was bound up, Vox and Y/n knocked out and he now stood face to face with a incredibly pissed of Radio Demon.

"Shi-"

Alastor quickly pulled Valentino and Striker into a blackhole. He really wanted to pull them both apart but he had other prioritise right now.

"Rosie! Get the first aid-kit!" Alastor barged into the emporium carrying the two.

Rosie looked at the wounds. "I'll get the town doctor too, wait here."

Alastor sat down next to his child. He gave them a kiss on the forehead.

"I'm sorry Y/n, please forgive me," he whispered.

Part 5

Masterlist/request guidelines

Taglist: @hxzbinwrites

[akixxsstuff]

Death Note L Lawliet Yandere x Wife Reader Smut

(The picture above was edited by me).

NSFW content // Angst // Click here for part 1

L's internal monologue:

Majority of the people I come into contact with find my demeanor to be intimidating or strange, but I usually don't care, I'm used to it anyway. Living in isolation is lonesome Y/N, so even minor gestures and interactions can be so meaningful, especially from such a beautiful woman like yourself. I love you so much darling, why are you so caring when my exterior is so cold and dismissive? Your warm, bright personality is such a significant contrast to my dark, cold world, and I'll do anything to maintain it.

Present Day, (a few hours after part 1):

"Stop bringing up my marriage already! You're wrong, you're wrong about everything! Quit fucking with my mind!" you hissed. "I have two rules, first, I'm never wrong. Second, if I'm wrong..back to the first rule" L snapped as you kicked him away, "Shut up!" you yelled. Glaring L barked "Watch" and he connected his phone to your television screen, showcasing various prerecorded videos of your husband having sex with his ex-co-worker in your shared bedroom. You collapsed into L's chest and began sobbing, you were devastated that your kidnapper was now more trustworthy and loyal than your husband. Yes, you weren't completely innocent yourself, however, your husband's relationship was consensual and occurred before your kidnapping. L hesitantly wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on your head, his pounding heart was ringing in your ears. "How could he do this to me, I tried so hard to mend our marriage, but it wasn't enough, everything was a lie" you snuffled. "Yes, your husband is evidently a very poor romantic partner" L mumbled, "I hate him!" you screamed.

"I'm sorry, my intention wasn't to hurt you Y/N. I just…I should have been more ethical…for once…I love you Y/N", "Yeah no kidding, what was your intention then?" you snapped sarcastically, "To convince you to divorce him for me before he could divorce you for someone else. Is there anything I could do to atone for my sins?" L whispered.

"Well I know you're not gonna free me so please just give me some space to process everything" you sighed, "Just as expected, please alert me if you require any emotional support, my love," he replied while patting your head, "Yeah" you mumbled.

You wandered around, finding a luxurious bathroom and kitchen, every room was stocked with your favorite foods, clothing brands, films, music, and more! This place was essentially a museum of you, which was both creepy and impressive. You washed and dressed yourself while brainstorming your escape, you couldn't easily kill him or threaten suicide since all potential weapons were removed, seriously, your shampoo was even organic so no one could be poisoned. You couldn't call anyone since you didn't have your phone and there were no windows and only one locked door.

Honestly, why should I even leave? All that's waiting for me is a shit show and a bunch of divorce papers you thought.

This isn't the full part 2, I'm just posting what I've finished so far!

[munsonsprincess11111]

Hopper and munson?

Eddie munson x reader

Summary: your Jim hoppers daughter. Dating the one and only Eddie munson. You've been dating for 2 months but it's finally time for that dreaded family get together. In this al comes back purely for this get together and leaves again.

-

Eddie loves you. More then anything. Only catch. He's a munson. Your a hopper. Yours dad's cheif of police. His is a master criminal. Eddie tells his dad about your relationship on a pgine call and askes him to come for the family dinner. To his surprise al agrees.

He was due to come to your house at 5pm Wednesday after school with Al and Wayne. But the hole school day. Eddie was a fucking wreck.

"Dude you've met hop before." Gareth says trying to calm Eddie. He glares at the boy. "I'm aware but I've never done this. I've never been around him while dating his daughter and my dad actually being present." Eddie's legs bouncing as he says this. He's wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans. But he feels the smallest weight lifted off his shoulder when you come up behind him and kiss his cheek.

"Calm down." You whisper in his ear. You sit next to him placing your bag next to you. Eddie looks up at you and smiles leg still shaking. You put your hand out and Eddie gladly takes it. Laying his head on the table. Slowly his leg stops bouncing.

"Thank fuck your here thought he was gonna explode." Dustin says from thr other end of the table. Eddie looks up and shoots him a glare putting his head back on the table.

"First I doubt he would've exploded. Second he has every right to be anxious. Fuck wouldn't you all be. Dustin how would u feel if suzie asked u to meet her super religious dad?" You ask Dustin.

"I'd be nervous as shit." HE mumbles

"EXACTLY Eddie's feeling like that times 100 right now. So all of you shut up and eat your food. And I swear next person to say something about Eddie I'm gonna personally punch. OK?" NO one at the hellfire table likes it when u switch. So they all nod and start talking about anything and everything else

"Thank you." Eddie whispers squeezing your hand slightly. He was stressed. He knew what his dad was like. He knew your parents hated eachother. "Your welcome." You whisper back. Eddie stays like that the rest of lunch. 15 minutes later the bell goes and your all parting ways.

"SEE ya at 5 handsome." You says kissing his cheek walking off to your lesson. Swaying your hips to give him a little show. He smirks shaking his head. But ad u disappear out of sight the anxiety is back. Roll on 5 o'clock.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie knocks on your door. Al stood next to him Wayne the other side. He's a wreck. But he can't show that standing next to his dad. So he had to try cover it up. Not to Eddie's luck hopper answers the door. "Eddie. Allen. Wayne." HE greets them letting them In. "Jim long time no see buddy." Als trying his charming munsin smile. But that won't work on Jim. He's seen it to many times.

"Evening Jim." Wayne greets shaking his hand. Hopper smiles and nods at Wayne. Wayne's the good munson out of all of them. You come walking from the living room into the doorway bit. Eddie's eyes immediately on you. Your wearing a short red dress that fits you right n shows all your curves. Some mascara. Fishnet tights and red heels that Eddie has seen you fall over in many times.

"Well well. This must be the famous y/n Eddie's told me so much about." Eddie's dad says to you. All you do is smile. You can see how uptight Eddie is. So you use your brain walk over to him grab his hand and walk him to the kitchen.

"You OK?" You ask him as soon as you enter your kitchen. He nods. "Liar." You say bluntly. All he does is wrap his arms around you. You wrap your arms around him going him three for a second. Letting him have some relief of everything.

The adults are making small talk in the living room. And your just holding your boy. Doing anything you can to calm him for even 30 seconds. "OK right. Let's go in there before I actually have a fucking break down" Eddie says laughing. You can tell its a forced laugh but you nod and take his hand and walk in the living room with him.

"There they are the happy couple!" Eddie's dad says as you enter the room. Eddie just nods and sits on the couch. You sit next to him still holding his hand. After 5 minutes his leg starts slowly bouncing again. "WHY you so anxious boy. Calm down. Your the one who wanted to date the chiefs daughter this was gonna hapoend sooner or later." Al says with a smile on his face.

Eddie gets up and mumbled the word bathroom before disappearing to the bathroom. "Excuse him Wayne's turned him into a real pussy while Ive been away. So Jim how's the job?" Al says still smiling. They all continue talking.

"Y/n if you don't mind us wondering who asked who out?" Jim askes you.

"Eddie asked me out." You say drinking some of your drink.

"Really didn't expect him to have the balls to actually ask a girl out. He was single for so long surprises me." Al says.

You look at Wayne who's just sat observing. Then to your dad who's talking to Al. Then at the bathroom where Eddie disappeared to. "I'm gonna go check on eds." You say quickly getting up so no one can stop u.

"Eddie babe you OK?" You ask knock on the door. No answer. You knock again and he unlocks the door. Walking in you see Eddie in a complete mess. "Oh babe." You say closing and locking the door.

He's stood twisting his rings. Leg shaking fast and looks drained. "I'm a fucking mess y/n I can't do this. My dad can't shut his mouth. Your dad already hates me. I'm fucked I'm fucking fucked." HE says putting his elbows on the sink and head in his hands.

You don't onow what to say. You want to help him. But you don't know how. "Eddie?" You says quietly. He looks at u and nods. I'm sorry." You say. Eddie stands up straight and looks you in the eyes sighing.

"NO. Ok no your not don't apologise like my dumbass dad said it was gonna happen. It's not your fault so don't apologise. I'm sorry I can't fucking handle myself. Babe I'm so fucking sorry. I'm trying I really am cause I love you and i-" he stops. You stare him in the eyes. Well he's never said that before.

"Y-you what?" You ask him softly. Eddie stares into space registering he actually said it. He smiles slightly n looks at you. "I fucking love you." Eddie says. The most confident he's been all morning

"I-i love you too." You smile slightly.

He walks over to your hugging you and kissing you. You kiss him back and wrap your arms around his neck. "Can't believe our first I love you was in your bathroom." Eddie chuckles dropping his head in your neck.

"Fuck it. Common were going back out there n imma fucking deal with it." Eddie says. He grabs your hand and walks out the bathroom to the living room. He sits on the couch. You go to sit next to him but he pulls your straight into his lap. It's like someone flipped a switch and all his cocky confidence was back.

"Look who's finally gonna join us. Remember your words now?" Al says tryna make Eddie feel small.

"Hmm let me think. Fuck you al. Oh yeah there back." HE says, looking his dad straight in the eyes with a grin across his face. That's your Eddie. Al sits there looking a bit taken back by his sins words. Wayne let's out a laugh along with your dad.

"What she do help you find your balls on there?" Al says to Eddie clearly trying to start something and make him look bad.

"If anyone needs there balls finding it's you. Atleast I'm not gonna run away at the end of tonight cause so many people in this town hate me. Nah imma deal with it." Eddie's grinning as he can tell he's getting to his dad.

"Watch it-" he tries to say but Eddie cuts him off. "Or what. We're at the chief of polices House. You. Can't. Do. Shit." Eddie says making his words clear. Your dad then looks at Al and nods agreeing with Eddie.

10 minutes later he's walking out the door. "Right let's start this evening again. Hi hop I'm Eddie munson I'm the prick dating your daughter. You already don't like me but I guarantee now u don't like me more. I'm probably gonna sneak in her window a few times so heads up. If she's gone late my bad it'll be my fault. If we ever get married her last name will be munson. I'll probably see you in the next week when you pull me over for speeding. Ive kissed her. Told her i love her. She said it back. Weve had sex. It was safe dont you worry. Oh and I smoke." Eddie says clapping his hands at the end. Your jaw drops.

Jim stares at him. "I hate and like you munson." HE finally says. Wayne let's out a loud laugh tour jaw still hung open. Eddie closes your mouth for you. "Careful babe you might eat a fly." HE winks.

"Who's for dinner?" Jim says getting up. "ME ill come help you serve Jim." Wayne says walking out the room eith your dad.

Eddie jumps on top of you as soon as there out of sight kissing your lips and neck. He pulls his head away and looks you in the eyes. "I DINT think I was scared about this I think it purely was my dad." HE says twiddling your hair. Your nod running your fingers through his hair. "Howd I do." HE askes looking at you with his beautiful brown eyes.

"I love you Eddie munson." You say. That's all the reassurance he needs. He cuddles into you letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"I love you too... y/n munson."