#and I'm writing those in docs
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Did some fic housekeeping and my drafts are now down to 2 🥳
#which are the two I'll be actively working on while my birthday fics are more long(ish) term projects#and I'm writing those in docs#hopefully i won't hate it and regret this lmao#i also realised i didn't like the ideas for the fics i had so i just scrapped them and when through my 6 million ideas and chose new ones#because tell me why i was trying to write angst for my birthday lmao please#I might save that idea for another time#anyways yay admin stuff#rj talks
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bless google scholar because i just KNOW if i searched "psychological abuse in relationships" on normal google id be put on some sort of watchlist when i'm just trying to do research for an essay on some silly little cartoon guys
#yes the essay is on#gravity falls#billford#ALSO for those who saw my post abt that dialogue thing...#yeah so ive actually started an entire google doc thats all stanford's writings from journal 3 & tbob..#which i realized would be helpful for anyone who has a hard time reading cursive so ill be posting That.. whenever its done lol#but im also gonna add all of his dialogue in-show... whenever i can do that haha#the books have been easier though so thats why i started w them#im also gonna include lost legends !!#anyways these tags have been longer than the post so i'm gonna stop now lmao#bill cipher#stanford pines#cryptposting
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tease tidbit tuesday
tagged by @thewolvesof1998 @elvensorceress @diazsdimples @tizniz @bidisasterevankinard @spotsandsocks @jesuisici33 @dangerpronebuddie 💖💖
started another bucktommy wip 🙈 they consumed me, and im not even mad haha
I was just thinking at work and thought about buck telling tommy about the will (this is gonna get there i promise lol and I think the sperm donor thing too bc this is bucktommy endgame fic and buck wants it all out there haha)
ngl im lowkey annoyed bc I had a whole convo in my head and it was so good, but couldn't write it down and forgot half of it, but I think it came back to me more or less haha
___
In Buck's defense, he doesn’t mean to ask this question right then. It just slips out. He's lying in the big, strong arms of his very hot, amazing boyfriend, both sweaty and still breathless. He’s blissed out and fucked out, and so content and still dizzy after a mindblowing orgasm. He doesn’t have a lot of control over his thoughts and words right now. So he surprises even himself when the question flies out of him.
“Do you want to have children?” he asks casually, absentmindedly playing with their intertwined fingers where they're splayed on his chest.
“What?” Tommy asks, surprise and even shock evident in his voice, and only then Buck realizes what he said, and he feels his eyes widen and face starts to burn, and he stares at the ceiling, but feels Tommy’s gaze on the side of his head.
“I- I- I mean, like ever, some day, down the line- not like- I mean, you know, I- I just thought we should talk about it if- if- if it’s going where I hope it’s going- because I- we’ve been together for a while and I hope that- I think I-” he starts rambling and stumbling over his words, panicking just a little bit. Fuck, they’ve been doing so good the past few months, it’s honestly his best relationship he’s been in, probably the longest, too, and now he goes and screws it up by being too much, too soon, too serious-
“Evan.” Tommy’s hand lands on his cheek, and he gently turns Buck’s head towards himself. He meets Tommy’s soft gaze, and relaxes a little instantly. Tommy doesn’t look freaked out, just surprised, but there’s a hint of a smile dancing on his lips.
___
no pressure tags: @thebravebitch @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @eowon
@loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher
@lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @weewootruck @loveyouanyway @spagheddiediaz
@rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg
@rogerzsteven @giddyupbuck @tommykinards @underwaterninja13 @exhuastedpigeon
@911-on-abc @steadfastsaturnsrings @theotherbuckley @buddieswhvre @fortheloveofbuddie
@hoodie-buck @your-catfish-friend @hippolotamus @daffi-990 @honestlydarkprincess
@aroeddiediaz
#tease tidbit tuesday#wikiangela writes#i just love flustered panicking buck idk he's so adorable haha#also the first thing that came to me started with 'eddie put me in his will' but i haven't written that part yet haha#fic snippet#my writing#my wips#911 fic#911 abc#bucktommy#tommy kinard#evan buckley#buck x tommy#bucktommy fic#911 spoilers#bucktommy the will talk fic#<- that's how my doc is titled idk lol#i know bucktommy isn't everyone's cup of tea so if y'all don't wanna be tagged in those snippets just lmk lol#bc I can't stop (i'm slowly writing buddie too tho but rn this is where inspiration goes haha)
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(Based off of the reality of having a metal ring in your back as a constant reminder of your fate and how that affects you as a person set in the Switzerland arc)
“Does it hurt?”
Ava’s pressed face down into the pillow sleep curling around her limbs. She hums, she can’t remember what she says, she’s exhausted. Her arms are tangled beneath her pillow. She holds her fingers tightly between each other, her bones ache from the pressure but her hands no longer shake. Ava hasn’t experienced this before, a fear that haunts her at night. (She finds she cannot stop dreaming about dying. It’s stifling in the cover of night trying to figure out where she is.)
She slowly opens her eyes and squints in the darkness. Beatrice is facing her a furrow in her brow that Ava knows she’s doing unconsciously. Ava’s lip quirks a smidgen, Beatrice looks funny. It’s a bit silly to her, Beatrice no doubt working out a solution to an unknown problem that Ava has yet to see in the middle of the night. In her sleepy state she wants to laugh at the imaginary cogs churning in Beatrice’s head.
Beatrice scooches closer and Ava panics, her skin can taste the dust of Bea’s forearm. She hoists herself up on her elbows, turning to face Beatrice. “Wha?” Ava’s shaking off bits of sleep from her mouth when Beatrice repeats herself.
“Does the Halo hurt?”
She doesn’t know if she wants to answer that. Ava peers over Beatrice squinting at the harsh light of the digital clock on Beatrice’s side. Ava loves it, it reminds her of the early 2000’s and the aesthetic of waking up to an alarm to go somewhere. The clock blinks an innocent 1:43 Am, and Ava debates on letting her head thump back down.
She turns her body on her side, she can feel the halo shifting in her back and it makes her want to throw up. The sides of the halo press against her shoulder blades and Ava resists the urge to yank it out. She grits her teeth and settles ignoring the skin of her back pulling tight to accommodate for the ring. Beatrice is still expecting an answer and Ava can’t lie to her, she pulls the covers of the sheet up to her chest hoping to bide more time for an answer.
"Everything hurts Bea," Ava smiles, "getting my ass handed to me is hard work."
Beatrice frowns displeased but looks at her through her lashes, it's unguarded, the stress and worries of the world stay out of their room in the dead of night. Her lashes are so pretty and Ava wants to curse the soft glow of the moon. There’s just enough moonlight to illuminate her eyes but overshadow her freckles. Ava swallows down the taste of defeat, she can’t win, she thinks.
Her gaze is soft, Beatrice is looking at her and it’s different yet the same. The same feeling in her chest constricting her lungs, the same soft gaze of Beatrice. Beatrice who likes what she sees in Ava when Ava can barely see where she begins. She doesn’t like to dwell on it, the truth of the matter being what belongs to Ava.
If she closes her eyes she can pretend just a little longer. She can give herself the hope of the future and what comes after all this. She can put down the fighting and the artifact and live. Ava doesn't want to think about it anymore, at least not tonight when Beatrice is here with her.
Beatrice is soft. She knows it from hours and hours of training. She's felt it when Beatrice corrects her form, in the way she talks. She speaks from a place of care like she has turned the harsh words in her brain over and over to soften the syllables spoken to Ava. And Ava doesn't linger on it, the meaning behind it, (Ava didn't think she'd make it this far, finding a person who cares quite like Bea does.)
And Ava's got it bad, she knows she's fucked because Beatrice doesn’t say anything about her language and Ava can't not tell her the truth. She looks down, her hand fiddling with the bed sheet underneath them.
"It doesn't hurt," if she thinks about it she can feel the fibers of the cotton between the pads of her fingers. "But it's very uncomfortable." She doesn't want to find the response in Beatrice's eyes, content to hear it from her voice. The soft British lilting accent that holds her just as soft as a touch.
She waits, she can picture Bea’s mannerisms with her eyes closed but maybe she should check just to be sure. Ava peers up at Beatrice and she’s suddenly closer. Her eyes really are pretty, there’s a depth to them that Ava wants to spend an ungodly amount of time studying.
“Can I help?”
#tko_writes#AND THEN THEY BANGGGG NASTY UGLY HARDDDDD#tenatively titled:#Do you think i'm kind?#in which i dump soup all over this google doc#soup being trauma#yeah this is ooc what about it#i need to go to bed right now#can u believe it i wrote something relatively normal#bleghhh#it wasn't as bad as I thought it would go#canon writing is boring to me personally but this wasn't too bad#it's just like blah blah imagine having a metal ring in ur back and how sleeping on ur side affects your body#just like body horror#and like the constant reminder of it because how do u escape something that's so uncomfortable sitting between ur shoulder blades but#helps you move and do all the things u dreamed of???#anyway got bonked with this idea talking with ard#everyone thank ard for this if u liked it#i was supposed to write more but i've gotta go to bed#Ava's thoughts are all over the place but i'm gonna say that's cuz she's sleepy#something somethign it's just all the trauma she's gone through because she's had the halo is present and she's constantly reminded of it#because it jostles inside of her and no one was really fit to house a halo#something something GET RID OF THE HALO BEARERS LET THOSE WOMEN LIVE THEIR LIVES#RAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Okay so I gotta ask after reading the reply to your marriage hcs - what are the trials you envision Apollo having to go on to restore Hyacinthus to life? :0c
Funny enough, the Hyapollo resurrection trials is a major plotline in my two-years-into-the-making Hyapollo fic series :D So if I'm gonna talk about the envision/headcanons, I'll have to spill part of my WIP.
But for you, Ginger, I'll reveal just a wee bit of what I'm working on - but not too much!
In my fic series, Hyacinthus and Polyboea are the ones going through the trials to prove themselves worthy of resurrection. But Apollo will try his best aiding his lover while Artemis, plus Athena and Aphrodite, aids her huntress.
(But the resurrection trial arc is later down the line. The Spartan siblings will first have to stay in the Underworld for a couple of years and suffer for character development because Hades and Persephone need time to consider the big decision)
Anyways, Persephone - who has ulterior motive for helping them that will be explored in the series - will be the one giving Hyacinthus and Polyboea the challenges and overseeing their process.
Here are the general frame of how the trials look like:
First trial: Test of skill
Hyacinthus and Polyboea are in different sections of the Underworld (Hya in Elysium and Poly in Asphodel), so they'll have to do the first trial alone. Hyacinthus' task is covering all of his personal Blessed Isle in hyacinth flowers, while Polyboea's is to capture the souls of all the animals that she had hunted before.
While these trials look simple, Hyacinthus and Polyboea will have to do them with their BARE HANDS and zero equipment. Not only that, they will also have callbacks of their fears and mistakes in life, all will come back to bite them and crumble them in their daily breakdowns ( ˘▽˘)っ
Second trial: Lost and found
After completing their respective first tasks and gain some character development points, Hyacinthus and Polyboea will be allowed to leave Elysium/Asphodel to search for each other in the Underworld. Barefoot. On their own. With zero guidance.
And like the first trial, they're gonna have even more trauma! This time they will be reminded of the good times they once had in life and how they had lost everything when they were so close to achieving their dreams. Fun!
Third trial: Escape the Underworld
When Hyacinthus and Polyboea have found each other, they will have to find the deck where Charon's boat stops by to catch a ride leaving the Underworld. Of course, it's not gonna be an easy end for them.
Just know that somethings happened and Hyacinthus is trapped again, but he then follows the playing of Apollo's lyre to a way out of the Underworld.
#hyacinthus#apollo#apollo x hyacinthus#hyacinthus x apollo#polyboea#persephone#OTP headcanon#personal project#ask me anything#tumblr ask#mutual asks#long post#The Pen writes answering letters#The Pen explodes with ink#that's all i can say for now#i have so many thoughts storing on my Docs for years. then you came along and ignited a bomb in me#thank you Ginger for giving me a chance to talk about those ideas but also...#i'm not gonna talk about this Hyapollo project again until its official introduction post XDDD
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anyone else ever feel like a bit of a fraud for their creative creations?
#having one of those moments#when it's like#am I doing creativity wrong???#alternatively: why does my head keep telling me I am doing creativity wrong when. in fact. I find the same things GREAT when other people d#them? huge fan 10/10 only love. but then when I wanna do the same thing the head goes: not you though#*sigh*#the troubles and tribulations of “art”#simon.out.#tales from the google docs#I'm currently trying to get back into writing and also reading and it's.... a mixed bag
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On my knees... Head in hands... Begging writers to stop feeling insecure/intimidated writing James Sunderland. He's a complex nuanced character with a deeply unsettling and intricate story but it's delivered in a very clear and concise way and if you've played the game fully (no matter which endings you've gotten) how you view James by the end of it is likely the correct given so just write for him because I promise you, you actually know what you're doing even if you think you don't.
#complex =/= confusing#this was hiding in drafts uhm.. I'm seeing people go “oh he's too confusing to write�� NO HE'S NOT#GET THAT SAD WHITE DUDE SMUT GRINDSET GOING GIRL#PUSSY UP GOOGLE DOCS OPEN NOW#Outside of that there is definitely things left up to interpretation -#- but you're likely to make those interpretations already after a solid playthrough.#blabberings!
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made a timeline in my notebook with the main events for the King Jaime AU, took me over 2 hours, but here the result...
#also my therapist said i should keep posting those pages because it boosts my confidence so#i might turn it into a google doc tho#but writing down the major events was helpful to approach this fic#again i'm still self-conscious of my handwriting but 😬#marie talks to herself#otp : a dynasty for us#king jaime au
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sometimes writing is going "this sounds really good!" to "this is all garbage actually" but wait! that's just the 1 am brain talking
#which is why i don't let myself delete anything (aside from notes. those get moved to a new doc) as i'm writing#no longer letting myself delete things in the heat of the moment#while i'm writing is when i'm also most critical#when i go back to skim through i find i don't mind some things as much#also i'm tired#kate blabs
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➸ Avriel | @uroboros-if
✦ Moment of Creation 🍂
In the all-encompassing cradle of the universe, Avriel came into existence within the embrace of light. They first felt pain. The universe wracked every thread of their existence with the agony of every being, all at once — then soothed the fractures left behind with the love of all that ever was and ever will be. Upon his first time laying eyes on another being, he attempted to replicate her smile. The first... emotion he ever felt in the waking world was curiosity.
✦ Pieces of a Soul 🍂
➸ Avriel stands at 5'9. He sits with his knees curled against his chest whenever he can get away with it, making him appear to be smaller than he actually is. 🍂
➸ He can be quite contradictory in the sense that while he approaches the world with an unrelenting — sometimes reckless — optimism, he’s always very surprised whenever someone seems to enjoy or even want his company. Years of subtle, minor, rejections have trailed him since his creation, as if the waking world was determined to wear him down little by little. As a result, he has a severely low view of himself when it comes to his worth as a friend or as company.
Despite that, he persists with dogged optimism and continues to seek out the company of other beings. He keeps trying, keeps hoping, but he never really… expects to actually get anything back. 🍂
➸ Rarely holds grudges. He could be called forgiving at best, and overly passive at worst. 🍂
➸ Not one to hide his emotions, he often speaks without thinking. Fortunately, for what he lacks in tact, he makes up for in intuition. He’s quick to sense the emotions of others, including discomfort or distress, and will immediately back off and apologize if he feels he was the cause. He’ll attempt to make amends, but whether he's successful or not is a different matter. 🍂
➸ Avriel loves to dance! He started learning when he was young and picked up different styles by observing other mortals and deities, though Rafaele was also a very willing (and delighted) teacher. Would be all for dipping his dance partner in a dance! In fact, it's at the top of his bucket list! 🍂
➸ Has a sword he often uses in his dances. Avriel picked up sword dancing when he was young. Years of diligently honing his skills in the art have made him skilled in the dance of the sword, able to move his body and blade with the lightness of a swallow. 🍂
➸ Like most beings, Avriel has his personal preferences. He particularly likes eating meat. His favorite flower is the Krio firosafa. Delicate and enduring, they are often overlooked because they are always there, as if there would never come a day when the streets would truly lay bare of them — Avriel thinks there is much worth treasuring in that. 🍂
➸ Extremely affectionate. He makes it incredibly obvious when he's happy to see someone, whether platonic or romantic, and will perk up with sparkling eyes upon seeing them approach. Loves pestering friends once they've gotten close enough — a befriended (or romanced!) Ciocana may find that a happy and secure Avriel can be even more of a menace than they are. Although he would settle down somewhat when with a more reticient friend, content to accompany them in quieter activities. As long as he's given a sense of security and acceptance, Avriel is happy to follow their lead.
It's uncertain what the ettiquette is in Galaio in regards to skinship, but if Avriel were a being in the modern world he would be the type to affectionately link arms with his friends or drape himself over their shoulders. 🍂
➸ Becomes quiet and subdued when upset. It is rare that something affects him to this extent, but when it does, he shuts down like a flower withered in winter. There is an off-putting silence in his expression, in his downcast eyes. It is best not to leave him alone when in this state. 🍂
➸ Is very active, and prefers to take the longer, more creative route rather than simply using the streets. He often climbs, leaps, and bounds his way around Lucidio in an effort to add some fun to his hectic yet rather repetitive schedule. It works, most times! He appears to be drawn to high places, and can often be seen crouching on a pillar or making himself at home on a roof. 🍂
➸ Is actually quite content with his current life. While he’d probably definitely fall over from shock and joy if he got even a single offering from a mortal, his lack of power or recognition isn't something that weighs on his mind, not anymore. He’s long come to terms with his status and makes the best of it — though the mockery occasionally thrown at him still affects him.
Although it would be nice if the world wouldn’t look upon him so harshly, Avriel’s dearest wish is to have meaningful relationships with other beings — bonds where he can safely go to them and know that they want him there. If he were able to have such relationships one day… well. Who could ask for anything more? 🍂
➸ His fathers are his anchors. Avriel is a being who thrives off love and attention; his fathers have always given him the steadfast, unwavering love and acceptance that the world so often withheld from him. Even now, he actively seeks out them out when the endless streams of errands in Lucidio start to make him feel a bit too lonely, a bit too isolated. He adores their frequent visits very much, and is always noticeably livelier than usual for a few days afterwards. Avriel loves them dearly. 🍂
✦ Height Chart
✦ Afterword from Distant Lands
You’ve reached the end of this monstrously long post. Congratulations! You survived 😌✨ I really appreciate the time you’ve taken to see this little person that I made, so. Thank you. Thank you very much. Ahead is an afterword elaborating a little more on the background of Avriel’s relationship with the others. I tried to make it short, but… it appears I’m not very good at this short and sweet thing. 🫡
When I started forming Avriel, I wanted to make it clear that he had imperfections of his own. He has qualities that will make him clash with the other characters of Uroboros — at the beginning, anyway.
(In case you missed the link at the top of the post, Avriel is my MC for Uroboros by @uroboros-if !)
Due to his passive tendencies and his subconscious wish to preserve the “peace” that he has carved out for himself, Avriel will initially be extremely wary of Alessi and everything they stand for. The fall of the reign of the gods? He really doesn’t like the sound of that. But passive he may be, Avriel carries a heart that stubbornly longs to love the world and all its beings. The things Alessi will show him may just break Avriel out of the passive shell he's unknowingly created 🫡 I’m looking forward to seeing how they will clash and develop together in the future.
Avriel will have to look past the lens of his hero worship for Luciel in order to truly understand the person they are — imperfections and all. Though come what may, you can rest assured that Avriel will always be Luciel’s number one supporter! But to close that distance between them, Avriel will have to do his part and understand that putting the other person on a pedestal will only do more harm than good to a relationship.
His relationship with Luciel is inspired by the ‘looking’ scene with them. I imagine Avriel halting in place and staring Very Starry-eyed at Luciel during the times he meets them as the text from the Looking scene skitters through his head at the speed of light, a scenario I find extremely funny and will hold onto till the day I die. The MC talks about Luciel’s eyes and kindness a lot, and I took that fact and ran with it.
Salvatore… Avriel's relationship with him is quite complex. I’ll wait to see how future chapters develop before I write more about their relationship. However, I will say that I pounced on these paragraphs from the game to use as a foundation:
He opens and closes his mouth, tasting the words on his tongue before deciding. "Please, let's speak another time! I wish to hear more from you." You see a glimpse of his younger self—Salvatore from a bygone era, when things seemed less complicated, less troubling. You think time has robbed him a part of his spirit. He has become busy. So very busy.
I suppose I felt a faint sense of regret from that last paragraph. The regret of standing before a person once so very close to you, and now so changed. For the better, most people would say, but Avriel secretly wishes that Salvatore could have stayed as happy and carefree as in the past. Though Avriel doesn’t really know that. He’s not one for introspection. He just feels very complicated whenever he meets Salvatore, though he still does his best to regale the deity with comedic retellings of his errands in Lucidio. Just to make Salvatore laugh.
As for Ciocana, I’ll also wait to see how future chapters develop before further shaping his relationship with Avriel. I feel that Ciocana has a lot of hidden depth that we have yet to see. But going off of initial impressions alone, I can say that Avriel definitely had a very good first impression of the other deity. It was an instant squish, if you will. Avriel’s boundless energy syncs quite well with Ciocana’s mischief, and if given enough time to develop, I feel their dynamic has the potential to become the “ride or die (enthusiastic)” kind. 🫡✨
Aaand, that’s all. Thank you for reading this far (again). If you've somehow managed to read this far, then 💐🥺💍hand in marriage pls. Avriel was a joy to create, and I’m really looking forward to seeing how he develops in the future. The world within Uroboros is so wonderfully crafted, its characters so vividly alive; Avriel would not have existed without it. I’m very grateful to the author for sharing their world with us. Thank you. Have a very good day, and may you all have as much fun writing and creating your characters as I did!
➸ Picrew:
#uroboros if#deity of eternity#uroboros mc#me (staring intensely through a microscope): do you hide great emotional turmoil. do you carry a heavy resentment even you are not aware of#avriel: :3 ?#they never tell you how hard it is to write an optimistic himbo character that grew up under awful situations#it's hard to keep that balance of cheerful himbo-ness and Emotional Angst#because no matter how well adjusted they may seem#those extremely Not Good experiences STILL happened#and are still happening#and that has to affect them in some way#i have so many scrapped drafts of a much more angsty avriel rotting in my google doc#avriel is still very much a mystery to me#this post is so monstrously terribly long ack#i don't know how That happened i'm so sorry#anyone who actually made it through this entire post is a warrior frfr#im kissing your foreheads#mwah mwah mwah#i haven't written anything that wasn't an essay or reflection paper for school#for like four years#so i may have COUFGH gone a little overboard COUGH COUGH COUGHF#ah and if you've seen avriel's character track sheet on discord before#i've revised it a few times since then!#aspen's blorbos.txt#oc stuff#interactive fiction
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If I wrote a fic where Miles (at some point in the general post ATSV to BTSV timeline all of us fic writers are existing in) is reunited with his Blonde Peter Parker, and they have a heart to heart, and Peter offers him the comfort he has literally been so desperate for, and being the only person he knew before all this that hasn't betrayed him in some way, would y'all read it???
how is peter coming back from the dead? a dunno man, just use your imagination and be quiet. is he staying alive to stay for the rest of the conflict? I dunno, probably not gonna write that far. will it be your typically angsty bullshit? yeah, probably, I'll find a way to break my own heart doing it, and all of y'all's in the process, per usual.
Edit: this is now in progress, though I don't know when it'll be finished.
#I'm probably gonna write it any way#I just wanna know if I should actually put my time and effort into it#or write is as one of those things you right and leave in your docs and read months later after you forgot about it and stumble upon it#y'know what I mean???#blond peter parker#blond!peter parker#peter parker 1610#miles morales 1610#miles morales#atsv#spiderman atsv#spiderman across the spiderverse#across the spider verse#spider man: across the spider verse#across the spiderverse
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What to do when my fic wants to be a Thick One. I like talking I know that, but I wanted to write this fast, so I could read it faster, because – I have no reason to lie – I am doing this for myself. But this is getting longer and longer and I feel like loosing hope. This story will be like all the others, me vomiting words fast, tangling plot and whatnot, then I get a writer's block when I realise I actually have to solve the caused problems.
#this is a letter to The Void#i am screaming my problems into the wide and open air#please ignore this#i'm writing#tonhal pofázik#i should make a tag for this story i'm complaining about it way too much#i thought to myself the other day when i wanted to write but my mind got all foggy when i opened the doc#hey you should start translating those parts that are actually done#hnnnngh#i started it#it's going to be a rollercoaster#me to myself: you speak english. you have an actual certificate of that#also me: *googling the grammar rules of present simple*#also English. why do you hate commas
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an uncle nina check in <3
hi team! thanks for sticking around! i know my blog isn't always the most exciting and enriching place in the world in terms of content, but i am very /content/ to have you all here. <3333
i promise, oddly enough, i have A TON of inspiration and ideas for all my weird styles ( if you're curious about anything please lmk! i've been trying to flesh out my aus out lately ), i've just been in a major bummer depression era lately, so it's hard for me to get my asks done and i'm having a hard time committing to finishing my writing. :<
i think it's because of stress and my bipolar, but i am trying to get back on the horse! ( are we all laughing at the idea of me trying to get on a horse? i'd start crying help city girl fail moment for me ) yeehaw!
and while, unfortunately due to the instability ( fabulous legendary iconery ) of my pretty girl popstar personality, i do not know whether i will be answering almost no questions or one million, regardless of that, i just wanted to let you know, i'm still here, still kicking my feet, twirling my hair, cooking...i'm just really trying not to force myself to put out anything i don't like...and only do what makes me truly happy.
however, nothing, my dear sweet e-darlings...
makes me happier than coming home to all of you. <333
so thank you for flooding even the darkest corners of my life with bright light, supporting my phantom fics and being wonderful,
uncle nina xx
#nina speaks#hi my loves#idk what the point of this was#i just know my blog is really inconsistent and i know i dont really post anything or anything that useful#but i wanted you to know that i love you very much and i still care a lot about all of you and all my content actually#which i have been fleshing out in notebooks and google docs i've been doing lots of world building and character study#so feel free to ask me something challenging about any part of my nina sp auniverse that interests u itll make my brain work#i've also been taking very silly but dilligent notes abt what ravesey style looks like for ter so if u want to laff at those u can#i just love taking notes on detail and understanding exactly what characters look like or what settings appear like idk#might be some experimental writing on here i like doing different mediums like i was being silly#and started writing a netflix trailer for rm haha i also have been doing weird personality tests and questionnaires#i've been trying to think very deeply about tkak and my tfbw styles if u have any questions there and am deep plotting rm#trying to be impactful while also keeping things fun and learning to enjoy myself again i suppose#so again thakn u for being here sorry its weird on here but thank u for supporting me as i learn and grow my sunshines#also ik i have a ton of asks and uve already asked me so many things so never feel inclined to message me#but i love hearing what ur curious about hopefully i can answer some stuff eventually but again im on a break#i'm here but i'm not this is a safe place we try and fail we have fun and promote style world domination thru my weird styles#ilysm i'm shutting up now i promise i'm still here i'm just trying to be healthy and happy esp rn when i am not emotionally well#gotta protect my peace and my vibe palace but im still here!#MWAH MWAH MWAAAAAH#really trying to heal my inner child or like the girl in me that liked to write silly stories and create crazy things#weird hcs big dramatic plots silly stuff...i want to honor that girl because she was happy and free and had fun#and i want to do that again so lets have fun guys#no judgement no seriousness just good vibes and good reads#welcome to the uncle nina learns to laugh again arc#i hope you enjoy it
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Huge fan of ur su fics! Would you ever consider writing for su again?
Hi anon, and thank you for the compliment!
I'm afraid the answer to this is very simple, actually, and it's that one "I do not control the hyperfixation" meme. I actually have a ton of SU wips in my docs I do poke at sometimes, so who knows when we might see more of those! It's just that I'm a 100% hobbyist writer and there aren't ever enough hours in a day, and so priority is assigned purely by what strikes my fancy at the moment, you know?
So right now I am mostly writing about this very frequently dramatic and over-the-top magical immortal knight lady who has a tragic backstory of getting killed over and over but coming back because it's just how she works, and it makes her kind of reckless, y'know, but she's also really good at what she does even as she's hauling around a giant ball of pretty severe trauma she's only now sort of getting a chance to deal with while also being entangled in saving the world from yet another crisis (aliens are invading, among other things), meanwhile one of her main problems is people who insist on objectifying her and using her as a tool due to the very nature of her being coming after her, and also she's super gay and devoted but her girlfriend died but-- wait.
#i'm joking ofc the characters aren't even that similar i just have my 3 things that i like and am legally obliged to poke fun at myself#oathkeeper replies to things#reminds me doc actually tagged me in one of those fic wip memes and i totally want to do it and go through my giant stash#would be fun#oathkeeper writes things#you know thinking about it now i probably want to finish the daemon au the most
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ugh ok things I need to do this weekend;
Work (gross)
The dishes (why are there so many godsdamned dishes)
Laundry (it is piling up like nobody's business which is very rude)
edit/type up the edits of the presents (three days on the first one lmao)
go through clothes for charity shop?
finish? inquisition? need to check when the flatmate gets back
and, you know, maybe write something. Llinos and Syn both have a scene in the works. Syn's is gonna be longer, maybe, but I don't currently know how to wrap off Llinos' scene so we'll see
(this is code for I Should Not Be On Tumblr Until Tomorrow Maybe)
#talkin' malarky#I am obvs sitting here with the laptop out and like twenty minutes before I need to go#not that I've opened any docs yet#anyway my boss is in work today which means the chances of doing. not very much/writing is uhhhh low!#but not nothing. I know what I'm like. I can be sneaky#anyway not a weekend I can join in with the games I think :(#(I may anyway who knows)#ohhh I have tag games to answer as well huh#I keep forgetting about those lmao
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What are your headcanons of Doc when he's in 1885 before Marty's here ? ^^
OOOH BEFORE MARTY'S ARRIVAL?
This is such fun territory because Doc doesn't yet know what's in-store for him and he's absolutely certain this is where he'll be living out the rest of his years and I don't usually get the chance to talk about it.
So here are a couple headcanons I have for 1885 pre-Marty's intervention:
First and foremost, I think those first couple months Doc spent in 1885 were fairly rough and Doc didn't fully get the chance to enjoy living in his favourite (overly boyishly romanticised) time period. Getting himself set up somewhere was important, of course, but everything it could have been was initially soured by the circumstances and the understanding/guilt that surrounded his arrival in the Nineteenth Century.
Marty and the Time Vehicle were always at the forefront of his mind. Doc often thought about Marty (and about Einie, his other dear friend who is not unaffected by this whole situation, though he was at least safely home in his own time), sometimes falling prey to despair and grief over what happened—Marty likely thinks him dead or worse and, on top of that, Doc feels like he failed to look after him. Marty's stranded in 1955 with his younger counterpart, without a time machine, without his family, without hope, and all of that rests constantly on his shoulders—and, after finding himself snared by these unproductive feelings, he'd use that to reinvigorate himself and continue puzzling out solutions to this temporal conundrum he'd been faced with.
Doc is also faced with a lot of personal/moral dilemmas. He'd been driving the point home across the two films so far that the past cannot and should not be altered/tampered with and even the smallest changes could have potentially disastrous effects on the future. With things as messed up as they already are, Doc had to weigh his options when it came to figuring out how to proceed: hide and try and leave no mark or risk potential contamination/alteration of the timestream, however small, all for Marty's sake. The answer was obvious, of course, and he didn't let his own personal reservations hold him back for too long doing what he needed to do. It's for Marty, after all, and he would bend time and space for the safety of his best friend.
The rescue Marty plan goes through several iterations and failed attempts before Doc settles on the one that we see play out in the third film.
Doc quickly figures out that the people of Nineteenth Century Hill Valley aren't too terribly different from Twentieth Century Hill Valley citizens. There aren't tabloid papers and other such media in which scurrilous gossip, scandal, and other low-quality forms of 'entertainment' run rampant, however people then and people now certainly love whispering in each others' ears and sticking their nose in the business of their neighbours underneath a hundred and one false pretenses. Doc was neither a stranger nor an exception to that. Though the rumours and talk about him were hardly as cruel and malicious as they were in his own time, he was still, at times, the odd man out.
Despite that, however, he was generally still widely-accepted amongst the people and well-known for reasons that didn't have to do with his less-than-stellar reputation.
A couple of people had seen the quality of life improvements Doc had made to the stable and while some of them marvelled at such contraptions, others gave him funny looks and the occasional side-eye, unsure what to make of them and him.
A few people even saw the DeLorean in various stages of its repair when they dropped by unannounced and after the first time, Doc came up with a convincing cover story to explain its existence. People didn't often question it too much after that.
Doc did not have a lot of prior experience as a proper blacksmith before taking up the position. He was a self-taught engineer and mechanic, skills that were necessary for him to learn to further his work on the Time Machine, but he'd never worked with a forge proper before and there was a steep initial learning curve. Still, Doc found that he greatly enjoyed the work as it was physical, challenging at some times, and not so different from inventing, albeit the purpose and end result was different.
Archimedes was the first horse Doc acquired, followed by Galileo and Newton in that order. Archimedes quickly became Doc's favourite horse, though Doc loved them all, and he had the biggest personality out of the three, occasionally as stubborn and eccentric as his master. Newton was easily bribed by treats, apples being his favourite, and Galileo was prone to stealing whatever was in reach and not tied down. Doc's hats, whatever was in his hand he wasn't holding on to tight enough, knocking things off the wall, you name it.
Doc had accidentally slipped up a couple times when talking to others about the future, but he was typically pretty careful with his words. Luckily, they either didn't catch on or didn't take what he said too seriously.
He did not miss the light pollution of the Twentieth Century. Doc spent a lot of time looking at the stars at night, especially when he was stuck on one of his projects or at a loss for how to proceed with the DeLorean.
Most of the personal effects in Doc's barn were bought during his various trips to San Francisco for parts and other necessities unavailable in the still-developing Hill Valley. Whenever he'd return after a couple days away, he'd typically come back to a mountain of jobs waiting for him, from shoeing requests to wagon repairs and so on.
The barn was more than enough for him to live comfortably in, as he could find comfort and luxury damn near anywhere. Doc didn't need a cushy home or anything beyond the basic amenities for himself to be content. Moving away and finding a new place to live never crossed his mind.
During Doc's first test of the refrigeration unit, there'd been a lot of 'unnatural' sounds coming from the barn, so much so that the sheriff had been called to check on things.
One of the older women in town, a lady only seven years Doc's junior, had taken a particular interest in meddling in his life. This included enquiring about his past, his plans for the future, why he'd not yet married, if he had kids, and occasionally trying to play matchmaker. She liked Doc for what it was worth (not in the romantic sense) but Doc assumed she simply couldn't help herself.
Though he'd grown accustomed to technology and all its conveniences, he found he didn't miss all of it the way he thought he would have. The biggest thing he missed was modern medicine and vaccines; he lamented the poor state of medicine back in the day. Especially after his bout with scarlet fever. Never had he been so miserable.
Doc first met Seamus McFly when he'd dropped by the barn needing his wagon repaired. Doc didn't mean to end up becoming fast friends with the man, but he saw very much of Marty in him and the two hit it off fairly quickly. Maggie had initially thought him strange, sensing something off about him that never quite went away the longer she got to know him, but she cared about Doc as well.
Seamus always could sense there was much more to Doc than met the eye, even if he had no idea just what that something could possibly be.
He almost took in a dog he found wandering around town square, even caught the animal, until he found out that the dog actually belonged to somebody.
Doc couldn't help himself from making the trip out to Peabody's Farm to see that piece of history for himself.
Like in the version of events where Marty does show up to save Doc from Fate, Doc and Clara fall for each other at first sight.
Even after he'd completed the DeLorean repairs as much as he could, devised his ingenious plan to get Marty back to 1985, and set everything into motion, Doc couldn't help but think about Marty. He was certain his younger temporal counterpart would succeed in making the necessary repairs and ultimately he did feel bad that once Marty returned home, they would never meet again, but if that was the last thing Doc would be able to do for him, at least he could do that. There were always some regrets that he wouldn't be able to see the rest of his best friend's life unfold and be a part of it, but he had unwavering faith in Marty that, after all this, things would turn out alright.
#really i just rambled here but these are some of the things i'm always thinking about for those couple months doc was in 1885#&; a great idea can change the world 「 hc 」#mundancheemudomo#&; all your questions will be answered! 「 asks 」#i have been brought back from the dead and it is to write a whole ass novel of hc posts hi hello
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