#and I'm tired of being afraid all the time
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Hi Elle! I'm here to hibernate, and I was thinking maybe a poly!rosekiller (you've got me hooked on Barty and Evan) or whatever pairing you think works best, love all our boys, with either:
“they’ve slept for like twelve straight hours. should i be worried?"
Or
“hey, i think it’s time to go to bed.”
Because I am both. Chronically.
If you don't respond it's totally cool, you're such an amazing writer and so many people love your stuff I totally understand not being able to respond, lovely girl!
P.S remember to drink water :)
thanks so much for the prompt, doll!! and thanks for being here with me; I'm happy to be celebrating with you <3
the winter games
poly!rosekiller x fem!reader who's asleep and Barty's afraid of [702 words]
CW: immature boyfriends, muggle/modern au, Barty hit someone with his car but it was chill and also not pictured, mentions of dicks but not described
Evan swore his eyes were beginning to cross when his paperwork was interrupted by the sound of a hastily whispered “Rosie!”
Evan looked up to see Barty standing in the doorway to his office. Well, it was more like to see Barty’s shoulders and head floating about halfway up the door frame as he leaned around it without actually stepping in.
“What is it, bee?” He drawled as he turned back towards his work.
“I need help.”
“With what?”
“Hiding a body.” Barty deadpanned.
Evan let out a tired sigh and looked up at him. “Again, Barty?”
“With Y/N, Rosie! And for the last time, that cyclist I hit was fine; he bounced right back up and smacked the hood of my car. He certainly wasn’t too hurt to cuss at me.”
“What’s wrong with your Treasure?” Evan asked - diverting yet another grumbling at how inconvenient hitting another man with his car was for Barty - as he organized his sheets into a neat stack. He may have called you Barty’s Treasure, but you were his sugar, and Barty seemed to think you needed his help so Evan was inclined to help you.
“She’s asleep.” Barty said simply - troublesome cyclists forgotten - causing Evan to pause.
“I hardly see what the problem with that is, Barty.”
Barty stomped his foot and rolled his eyes as if it were Evan who was being rather meddlesome and vague. “She’s asleep in the kitchen.”
Oh…that was the problem.
Sure enough, covered in an array of flour, sprinkles, and icing, you were resting your head on one folded arm with a piping bag sitting dejectedly in your opposite hand; a small stream of red icing pooling out the bottom. Sound asleep.
You’d refused Barty’s help earlier in the evening, stating that he wouldn’t do as good a job and you wanted your holiday cookies to be perfect. Evan didn’t particularly blame you for that, but he did feel rather guilty that you couldn’t trust your boyfriend to not pipe dicks on all of your sugar cookies when your back was turned.
“You didn’t want to wake her up?” Evan surmised as he gently took the piping bag from your hand.
“Listen, I love her with my entire being, but I’m kind of afraid of her.”
Evan couldn’t help but huff a laugh at that. “Fine, can you clean this up then?” He asked, gesturing vaguely to the state of the kitchen as he came up behind you and leaned over your frame.
“Sugar.” He murmured as he gently rubbed at your shoulders. “Come on, doll.”
An incoherent sound of discontent escaped your lips as you tried to rise; Evan’s weight above you kept you from sitting up too quickly.
“Hey, I think it’s time for bed.”
“But, th’cookies-”
“Will be here in the morning.” Evan argued as he allowed you to sit up slowly. “Barty’ll even help you with them.”
“No he can’t, Ev. He’ll ruin them.”
“He will not because whilst he’s helping you, I will be supervising Barty.”
He felt something warm in his chest as he watched you struggle to wake up; brain working overtime to make sense of your surroundings and to make sense of what Evan was trying to tell you.
“We’ll get it done in the morning, yeah? Together.” He offered gently.
“Yeah…” You let out with a sigh after a beat, Barty letting out a sigh of relief of his own from behind him.
“Go get in your pyjamas, pretty girl.” Evan instructed as he helped you stand, pressing a kiss to your hair and patting your hip in dismissal before watching you plod off in the direction of the bedroom.
“Ev, can’t I just-”
“No.”
“Just one.”
“I said no, Bee.” Evan pressed more forcefully.
“I hardly see what the issue with one festive dick is.” Barty grumbled as the two of them followed you towards the bedroom. “What if I save that one and then we give it to Reg?”
That gave Evan pause.
“One.”
“Thank you!”
“What’s happening?” Your voice sounded from somewhere in the washroom, causing both boys to freeze outside of it.
“Nothing.” They chorused; one of them in the form of a question and the other in the form of a delighted cheer.
#elle's hibernating#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#self insert#reader insert#barty gate#barty crouch jr#barty crouch junior#evan rosier#rosekiller#poly!rosekiller#poly!rosekiller x reader#poly!rosekiller x you#rosekiller x reader#rosekiller x you#poly!rosekiller fic#poly!rosekiller blurb#poly!rosekiller ficlet#poly!rosekiller imagine#poly!rosekiller fluff#ellecdc fics
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I'm soooo obsessed with 'Skin and Bones' it makes me look stupid. I daydream about it at work lmao. Honestly fantastic
For me, it’s as fun to write soft Megatron as it is to write feral TFP Megs. Mass displaced mech 18+ 🌶️
Skin and Bones Pt 9- extended cut
IDW Megatron x Reader
Servos trembling as they curl into fists, he shrugs off Soundwave’s hand on his shoulder. Knows the communications officers is concerned, but the energon splattered on his hands and chassis isn’t his. It rarely ever is.
“Leave me,” he growls, wishing he could gentle his tone. But that fury is a living thing inside his spark. Another failed coup to put down. It’s not like it’s anything new, but he’s just so tired of it and violence is the only way to keep his throne. The only thing his followers respect and he hadn’t been able to temper his blows, because betrayal always brings out the worst in him. Those memories always too close to the surface.
Drags him right back to the gladiator pits, struggling and clawing just to survive, because one wrong move will cost his life. Never being able to relax, not even during recharge. Being the strongest had placed a target on his head. Made him plenty of enemies.
And finally alone, that rage shakes him, sinking into his spark. Because everything he’s done has been for them. Fighting for freedom, to not be leashed by the aristocracy ever again. Dragging his chair away from his desk, he slings it across the room. Wants to tear the walls down around him, but it’s the sharp cry from his berth that freezes him. Chains that fury.
Spark constricting as he realizes he’d forgotten all about you. Head turning, he finds you pressed against the wall on his berth, eyes wide with fear. Seeing the real him for the first time, the angry mech who’d fought so hard just to survive, who’d grown bitter and determined. And you’re terrified.
“Little one,” he growls, voice too rough still as he approaches. The chair didn’t land anywhere near you, but he’s been so careful to not show you the worst of him, because around you he can relax. Remember that there were times before the fights that weren’t easy by any means, but were almost happy. Companionship found with the other miners, a sense of family that had been taken from him. Reaching out a hand, he doesn’t try to touch you as you flinch back, little hands curled against yourself. Afraid if he tries to touch you, it’ll send you running. And he’s afraid of what he’ll do in turn if you reject him. He’s just so tired of it all, but you give him comfort. A little spot of trusting warmth.
Eyes shiny, you look from his outstretched hand to his face. Slowly letting out a breath and coming to him to lay a warm palm on his servo. Still trusting him even if you’re scared.
“Everything okay?” You ask, looking up at him as a single tear slides down your cheek and you reach up to scrub it away. Afraid, but asking him if he’s okay and your concern aches in his spark.
Knows how dangerous it is after the brawl he’d just had. If anyone comes looking for him, if they get past their fear and come at him together? Knows he shouldn’t risk it even as he places his ped on the berth, leaning forward and mass shifting. Closing the distance between you as he shrinks and seeing your eyes widen as he carefully grips your little hand. Even like this, you’re so much smaller than he is, fragile. But as you look up at him, he’s snared by those eyes, the little flecks of color in them he’s never noticed.
“You’re little. Smaller,” you whisper with a soft, awkward laugh, eyes dropping to stare at his hand gripping yours. “Didn’t know you could do that.”
He needs to see those eyes again, his free hand reaching to cup your soft cheek and tip your face up. Feeling when you lay your palm on his hand as he slides a servo along your cheek. Accepting his touch despite the faint tremor he can still feel, those trusting eyes seeing him. The good and the bad, and not running. Venting sharply when his touch leaves a smear of energon on your cheek, marking your skin with his sins.
Because that’s what he’s always done, isn’t it? Every time he reaches out, he just ends up destroying what he’s trying to protect.
He’s frozen, those red optics fixed on his servos against your cheek as you try to calm your racing heart. That had been the other side of the coin, the vicious warlord that the Seekers had whispered about. Feared. Red optics glowing, denta bared as he’d seized his chair in energon wet hands and thrown it. That hatred twisting his face mixed with despair, cutting you so deeply, piercing the fear.
Those wet servos are touching you, dampening your skin. And he’s just staring, venting raggedly like he’s about to lose it all over again. That’s what makes you catch his hand between both of yours when he tries to snatch it away. Eyes dropping as he hesitates and you pull, turning yourself so your back is to him, his arm under yours and pinned to your body. So you can examine that big hand. “I like when you touch my cheek or play with my hair,” you begin, unsure of how to say what you need to, what he needs to hear. Playing with a servo to curl it slightly and amazed that he’s letting you. “These hands don’t scare me, they’re warm against me when I sleep. They’re strong, but they keep me safe.”
“They destroy, too,” he murmurs.
He’s so close he’s almost touching you and you feel the warmth of him when he vents and it stirs your hair. “Mine can, too.”
He huffs out what might be a bitter laugh at that, but he would think you’re too little, too fragile to do any harm. Giving in, you lean back into him. Soaking in his warmth and safety and realizing how attached to him you are. That you like that rumbling voice, like those big, gentle hands. It’s not like you’d ever deluded yourself into thinking he was safe, but he’d made you feel seen and cherished. He’d felt safe even knowing what he was and what he’s capable of.
“I’m not afraid of you.” Tugging his hand up, you press a kiss against the center of his palm. You can’t look at him, can’t risk seeing the surprise or worse, the disgust on his face. Cause to him, you’re a pet. A weird little alien he adopted as his. So you brace yourself when he turns you, those red optics searching your face.
“You should be,” he says, cupping your face in those warm hands. “I terrify myself.” And his head dips, his mouth brushing against yours.
More of a question than a kiss, a warm stroke of his lips against yours and he’s lifting his head. Going up on tiptoes as warmth spreads through you, you catch his helm and drag him back so you can mold your own mouth to his. Wanting this, him even though it’s crazy. You’re two very different species, but being held by him, drowsing to the thrum of his spark under you, it feels like coming home. And you want all of it. Want to hang on with both hands so you’re not left alone again, because after him? You might not survive that loneliness.
His glossa slides against the seam of your lips entering when you part for him. Those big hands sliding over you, dragging you closer as your feet leave the ground. His mouth moves against yours in a hungry demand and one of his arms cages you to him.
Your mouth is all heat and hunger against his, those soft hands clinging to him as if afraid he might stop. Even if he’d wanted to, he’s not sure he could now. Because you’d reached out, taken what you wanted and given him permission to do the same. No, there’s no stopping until he takes everything he can, loses himself in whatever comfort you’ll allow him. Because you? There’s no conniving or plotting in those warm eyes. Pinning you to his frame, he goes down on his knees and lays you down under him, head lifting slightly so he can find those eyes. Reassure himself that he can have this without destroying what little he has.
“Don’t go,” you whisper, face flushed as you reach for him and how can he deny you?
Slowly do he doesn’t scare you, he finds the bottom edge of your shirt and slides it up to reveal soft skin. “I’m here,” he says and you smile faintly, little hands moving to help him strip you. And only then, bare underneath him, do you avoid his optics as he surfs a palm against you, mapping you out with his servos. “Look at me.” It’s a demand and not as gentle as he’d meant, but you hesitantly meet his optics. “We’re very different.”
“I know,” you say, reaching up to skim your fingers over his chassis in barely there touches. As if not sure if you’re allowed.
Catching your wrist, he presses your palm more firmly against him. “I like those differences.” Shifting slightly, he continues his slow exploration. Finding where he can touch you to make you shiver, squirm away, or gasp. Then his servos find you, cup you and stroke that wet heat. Realizing that as different as you are, it feels like you’re made for him as he presses a servo inside you and you arch. Primus, help him as he frees his spike. Needing to be buried deep inside you even as he strokes that servo deep.
“Don’t stop,” you protest when he pulls his hand away and he laughs softly. He can’t even if you asked him to as he shifts to cover you. Little eyes widening as you feel his spike slide against you, then slowly press inside. “Oh.”
You’re so tight and wet wrapped around his spike as he sheaths himself. He can feel you clench on him before you relax and soften as he cups your cheek. Rocks himself against you with a growl, savoring the feel of you. “I love those differences,” he snarls, beginning to move against you. Hips driving urgently against yours, still wound up with that anger from earlier. Taking that frustration out on you, claiming you rougher than he intended. And you hold onto him, murmuring against his neck. Right there, please, his name, falling almost mindlessly from your lips against the mesh of his neck. Accepting him even like this when you deserve gentle and soft.
And when you cry out and tighten on him, he keeps rutting against you. Denta bared as he thrusts and chases you over that edge. Feeling you milk his spike as he buries himself deep and releases. Claiming you as his. Needing you and those soft hands that had reached out, those eyes that had seen him and not turned away. Knows he doesn’t deserve you, but wants to hold onto this as long as you’ll trust yourself to him, because you feel more like home than anywhere he’s ever been.
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Gentle Prince
Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, cuddlefucking, aftercare, cockwarming, breeding kink, marks, creampie, caring!Daemon, husband!Daemon
Word count: 0.6k
Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters
A/N: It's gonna be nothing but smut these next few days I'm afraid.
His breath is still hot against your ear, his grunts sending more tingles down your spine as his hands finally loosen their hold on your hips. He pulls away, his forehead briefly leaning against yours, "I'm afraid I got a little carried away with you darling. How do you feel?" His eyes are still almost entirely backed out, his lips grazing your own, almost making you want more.
You would take more if you could. "Tired." You breathe out a sigh, "I think we both got carried away. I can't even move. My body feels so heavy. But it's a good kind." Daemon huffs out a lough as he leans down a kisses your cheek.
You feel him shifting on top of you and instinctively wrap your legs around him. The fact that you did it so easily, without him even asking just goes to show how used you are to doing so.
"It's alright sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay right here. Inside you where I belong." He jolts his hips into you, making you gasp from how overstimulated you are, "Where my cum belongs."
You tighten around him, just thinking about feeling so full for the rest of the night makes your head spin and your body light up from the inside all over again. "Then maybe you should stay put, my prince."
"I plan to. But that doesn't mean my hands or mouth have to be. I have much to make up for. All these bruises and marks on you, someone has to kiss them better. It's my job as your husband to take care of you after all." He leans down and kisses the bite mark on your neck as his hands smooth over your bruised hips, down to massage your tense thighs, "To worship you."
For a few minutes you allow your body to relax, to enjoy the soft kisses and touches. The way he touches you now is so different from before. He was almost feral, rutting into you, telling you how good you look underneath him, full of his cock, how well he did to chose you, how good you are at taking his seed, how pretty you'll look when you're properly breed by him, cum spilling out everywhere between your trembling legs.
He treated you like he wanted to break you in half. And now he's being so gentle, the only evidence of the wild lovemaking being the marks he left, the warm cum filling up your pussy hole and the messy sheets and pillows.
"Darling... hm... you're going to get me hard again if you keep fluttering around me like that. Are you that insatiable?" You can hear the strain, as well as the slight anticipation in Daemon's voice. And if the slight throb of his dick is anything to go by he wouldn't mind going again either.
"Me? I was not the one who fucked the other back into consciousness. Do you have any idea what that feels like? How long was I out for anyways?" Daemon tilts his head a little, his damp hair falling over his forehead before you run your fingers through it.
"Thank you love." He closes his eyes, enjoying the warmth and comfort of your touch, "To answer your questions, you were out for a very short time. I barely had the time to get myself hard again. And no, I cannot say I've ever been fucked back into consciousness. Perhaps we should try it sometime, if you think you think you can make me black out that is."
You smirk and run your hands down his back, making him his as you press the pads of your fingers across the scratch marks you made there, "I'm always up for a challenge."
Daemon smiles, not grins but smiles, so soft and bright that one would not think him capable of it just going off rumors of him. You certainly didn't see him capable of such soft gestured when you first met. You've very glad that you decided to stick around to find out about them.
#house of the dragon x reader#hotd x reader#daemon x reader#daemon targeryen x reader#game of thrones x reader#got x reader#house of the dragon imagine#hotd imagine#daemon imagine#daemon targaryen imagine#game of thrones imagines#got imagine#house of the dragon fanfiction#hotd fanfic#daemon fanfic#daemon targaryen fanfiction#game of thrones fanfiction#got fanfiction#house of the dragon smut#hotd smut#daemon smut#daemon targaryen smut#game of thrones smut#got smut#x female reader
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Girl, your stories are so GOOD! I love reading your fics. I just saw you may be taking fics for Jayce or Viktor. Is there any way I could request a Jayce x Viktor x Reader fic where the reader is very naturing, cuddly, and gentle with both of them, but maybe she hides all her stress and struggles cause she deems theirs more important? Like, she always knows when they want coffee, how they each take it, covers them up when the lab is cold or they pass out at the desk, rubs their shoulders when she sees them shrug too much, just very attentive. Yet, she’s not a scientist and thinks that being stressed over literature projects and teaching is ridiculous cause it’s not as difficult or as important (in her mind) as hextech. So she just ignores her needs until these two notice.
I’m so sorry if that is too much! I hope you enjoy the third act when it comes out. Thank you so much for reading this! 🩶
OH ABSOLUTELY I CAN DO THIS. 😭😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND LIKING MY STORIES IT MEANS SO MUCH.
--fem reader. Fluff. Small sad. Angst if you squint. Cute throuple time.
--
The laboratory is cold, and the rain that batters piltover decorates the window like glass tears. Your eyes droop tiredly as you watched viktor twist the cogs in the next hextech project and listen to the sound of slow puffs of steam every few minutes that came from brass pipes on the walls.
Jayce is unmoving as he sits at his own desk, sorting through two stacks of papers. You hate it, hate watching them so vulnerable and so tired. Both are so hard-working and loyal to their studies.
"Allow me to help you both," you spoke as you stood up.
Reaching for two soft blue blankets stored in the corner, you walked firstly to jayce and draped the blanket across his shoulders and gave his cheek a soft kiss.
"I can't have my boys going cold now, can I?"
You spoke as you walked to viktor to drape a blanket across his much more lean shoulders, kissing his cheek, too. Viktor looked up at you and smiled tiredly.
"Thank you, my love." it never failed to make your heart flutter hearing viktor call you that, especially when his accent made it so smooth and endearing.
"Are you staying with us tonight?" Jayce spun in his chair, leaning an arm on his knee.
"I um" you cleared your throat.
The truth was, you had things to do. Your own assignments and activities to tend to. But viktor and jayce's eyes were gleaming deep brown in the dim laboratory light and so often you found yourself missing them when they would make you go to bed without them because they were afraid you would pass out after spending so long with them doing work.
"I have no where to be"
Paperwork
Documents
Assignments
Blueprints
Papers
Papers papers pap-
"No," you shook your head. "I have nowhere to be"
You smiled as you walked over to stand by the window, viktor and jayce came to stand on either side of you. The rain still pounded the glass, crystal city and enforcers were hounded the soaking streets each night, like a herd of elephants stampeding with metal boots.
"You need not worry about what's happening down there." Jayce put his hand on your shoulder.
Viktor turned his head to you. "It is not our worry, my love" he spoke ever so softly.
You pressed your lips together into a thin line, as you thought over so much.
"You both must be hungry," you stated.
You stepped away from them both before you walked over to the door. You would make them cups of hot tea and nice warm soup. bread and butter.
"Stop right there, doll" Jayce spoke loudly.
You froze and turned around to see jayce holding up your textbook. You gasped and realised they had indeed caught you.
"When were you going to tell us you had assignments to do?" Jayce asked.
Viktor turned around to face you, his head tilted. You looked at the ground defeated before them, and began to cry.
"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you both. I was so entranced with helping you with your dreams that I forgot about my own, " you frowned and sighed.
The two of them walked over to you and hugged you tightly. If they had known you were in such troubles, they would have chained you to the table and glued a pencil in your hand.
"I love you both so much, and I'm so sorry that kept it from you." .You looked at them with gentle and sorrowful eyes.
"You need not be sorry. But It's time to start taking care of yourself, my love. " viktor held you close to him
You nodded, making them both smile admiringly.
"We love you, pretty girl"
You gave them both soft kisses to their lips and smiled. "You know I'm still going to take care of you both"
They were your boys. And even if you were working every day and night on your own papers, you would find ways to still make sure they had their breakfast lunch and dinner and were always hydrated and healthy. You loved them both dearly and they too loved you too.
"If I find out you aren't focusing on yourself, I'll take back my promise to buy cupcakes" Viktor spoke.
Not only did you gasp. But beside you, the man of progress did too.
#jayvik#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane season 1#jayvik fic#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik x reader#jayce x viktor
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i've been staring at a blank page for months now, searching for the right words. the ones that used to flow out of the tip of my pen with a gasping cry of 'finally, finally' are nowhere to be found. the thing is, right, poets cannot thrive in mediocrity. cannot bloom, cannot scream all things beautiful without a laugh or a sob stuck in their throat. no one wants normal, you see. because normal is everywhere. but beauty? beauty is found in the reckless and jarring and the glittering night sky. but you can only write about the blue sky for so long before you get sick of it. can only bleed in paper till your wound closes, can only laugh till your breath runs out. and just like all things do, those moments end. that's what makes them worth of poetry- their fleeting, dream-like nature.
no one wants to read poetry about the days you waste scrolling through your phone or the assignment that you got a B- in. the thing is, right, just existing isn't worth of poetry. there is no way for a poet to thrive in a life of mediocrity and i'm afraid that's exactly where i find myself.
it makes me sad sometimes. i find myself missing the taste of copper in my mouth and the angry purple of the bruises on my knees. i hold my worn-out plush in my hand and wonder where it went- the joy it once used to bring me. my favorite t-shirt no longer fits me. i fold it up clumsily and think: have i outgrown greatness too?
but most of the time, it doesn't bother me. because you never really stop being beautiful despite what you might think. maybe you don't write as well as you used to. maybe reading your works no longer makes people overcome with an emotion that feels larger than life itself. and i've come to find that that's not so bad. not everything has to be booming and bright or miserable and black. you might not be great but your smile, candlelight soft and tired, is real. your wounds no longer make you feel like you're dying but your joints do ache terribly during thunderstorms.
the thing is, right, you will always be a poet. maybe not one that everyone adores or understands, but a poet nonetheless. what's beautiful to you might not be worth a second glance to me. what makes your day might be nothing worth remembering to a stranger. just because something that means the world to you means nothing to someone else doesn't make it meaningless.
keep a hand on your chest. feel your heart beat, steady, steady.
thump. thump. thump.
being beautiful is not what makes you alive.
thump. thump. thump.
you breathe, and therefore you are.
#i think i have a thing for posting every two months#i would say more about this but im tired and sleepy so uh. hi. yeah#my writing#prose poetry#words#writeblr#prose
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﹒ LEFT BEHIND! ﹔ ft # zeke yeager ﹐ 🍒 ﹒ ׅ
CONSPECTUS﹕a living reminder of what he sacrificed, of what he left behind in pursuit of a "saving" opportunity for the eldian people.
PAIRING﹕zeke yeager × female!reader ﹒ post-rumbling
CHAPTER(S)﹕next
CONTENT WARNING﹕pregnancy & childbirth (mentioned) + grieving + single-parenthood + slight ptsd + dead!zeke + dark themes + pet names (zeke calls you peach) (i know not everyone is for pet names) + intentional lowercase & more as the story progresses
"what's your name, little one?"
"veil."
"ah. . ." mrs. annelie's gentle hand reaches out, her slim fingers weaving through the soft waves of veil's blond strands. the girl almost looks like a doll, the older woman can't help but admire her.
"you look just like your father, with those. . ." she falters. "pretty eyes." as the woman speaks veil blinks, her words come as a confusing mishmash of speech to her.
annelie remembers that gaze all too well, first belonging to that man.
this time, it's softer. curious and innocent.
the wooden floorboards creak, announcing your presence before you can verbally. "mrs. . .annelie," a sigh escapes your lips. seeing her familiar face lifts a weight off your shoulders, weight you didn't even know you were holding onto. she steps forward, bringing you into a hug. one that reminds you of your late mother.
"how are you, dear?" she asks.
you chuckle, glancing down at veil who returns your numerous tired look. "i'm doing better." you answer truthfully.
grieving while being a single mother was a challenge, nothing could've prepared you for that.
"oh, sweetheart. . ." mrs. annelie's hand grifts over to your face, cupping your cheek in her hand. "you have people who will support you." you know she's right. "don't be afraid to ask for any help."
you didn't even know you needed that reassurance until now.
"thank you, i really do appreciate everything." you give her a slow nod.
the evening has passed and as you wave mrs. annelie goodbye veil stays by your side. now that you think of it, it's nearing her bedtime.
"ready for a bath, peach?" you ask, the nickname rolling off your tongue.
veil nods, watching you close the door. her clothes are a stained mess from the food she ate earlier. you scoop your little girl up, her hair brushing up against your chin.
stepping over toys and pieces of paper you make it to the bathroom. hopefully the water runs properly this time around, house appliance complications weren't rare; especially with how the world looked.
but for right now, you focus on the little gremlin whom you've grown to adore. even while she was still inside the womb.
.
.
.
his lighter finally flashes, trying to catch a small flame. it's clicking is one of the only sounds in the room. when the cigarette is finally lit he brings it up to his lips.
maybe he should kick this habit, but not now.
his shoulders rise, then they fall and ease into a relaxed position while he exhales a cloud of smoke. "zeke," he turns around, the dim lamp providing you with light. enough light that his hair shines gold in your eyes.
you pat your lap, a gesture that tells him to lay his head in your lap. "making room for me, peach?" zeke crawls across his bed, the mattress dipping at his weight.
you smile, welcoming him with open arms. "of course. . ."
.
.
.
.
the sun's warm ray shines on your back, you adjust, sitting up in your bed only to look over and see veil sleeping next to you. her bed is only a few steps away in the other room yet she finds comfort in sleeping in your bed.
"another one of those dreams. . ." you ponder for a moment, stretching your arms above your head. reoccurring dreams of the past haunt you. reminding you of what used to be.
what you could've still had if things had been different.
". . .mama," veil calls out to you, her voice a bit gruff, laced with tiredness. "i'm right here." you lay a hand on her head, petting her hair and bringing her close.
you feel yourself on the brink of tears, yet you shake the feeling off. not wanting veil to witness her mother in such a state. it's been so long since you've let yourself grieve, veil will never know her father. she'll never experience what it feels like to have her father at her side. your heart breaks for her.
"how about we visit uncle levi?"
veil nods, her head tucked into your shoulder.
"okay, mama."
© zekescherries , 🍒
#zeke﹒yeager﹐⟢﹔🍒#attack on titan#aot#shingeki no kyojin#zeke yaeger#zeke snk#zeke x y/n#zeke x reader#snk#shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction#zeke jeager#attack on titan x reader#attack on titan x you#shingeki no kyoujin x reader#aot x reader#zeke yeager x reader#zeke jaeger x reader#zeke jaeger#shingeki no kyoujin imagine#shingeki no kyoujin#zeke yeager#snk zeke#zeke jeager x reader#zeke x you#attack on titan fanfiction#zeke angst#zeke fanfic#aot x y/n#snk x reader#snk fanfiction
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#wak#negative#vent /#a continuation of the last post's tags because I couldn't fit everything there#but#I'm terrified of telling my family about everything because idk how they would react#would they empathize with me? would they be furious with me? idk#but. speaking in general#I don't know who to trust anymore#I don't know who's right and who's wrong#and every day feels like I'm sitting on a ticking timebomb waiting for it to explode#waiting for the day I get Found Out™ for something#waiting for the day some horrible tragedy happens#and I'm tired of being afraid all the time#tired of not being able to sleep at night even when I take my sleep meds#tired of being made to feel like I'm an awful terrible person literally all the time for everything#tired of feeling like nobody actually likes me and wishing I was someone else and feeling like I'm not good enough ever#tired of being reminded every ten seconds that the world hates people like me#tired of being constantly angry to the point that I'm developing increasingly violent thoughts and urges to do things I'd never do#tired of being completely set off by the most minor shit and having my day ruined by some nobody's dogshit opinion#tired of always feeling judged and humiliated and embarrassed by every single move I make#tired of everything#yes I got sidetracked from point of the other post/the other post's tags#but tl;dr?#I'm not ok guys#I'm not ok#I am just not ok.#delete later probably
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Broke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's too violent
Woke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's afraid to hurt people
#obviously it's always funny to do the whole 'what do u have there Damian?' 'a knife!' 'nO' thing#and like make him a horrendous and silly evil gremlin who can and will pull a sword out in the middle of a parking lot to fight#but listen#he doesn't like the assassin background that much and once he learns about like The Normal World he's honestly in anguish about it#that's canon! that's the truth! (right?) (the whole thing with Goliath?? I'm not making it up right???)#i think he's just the kind of guy who loves his swords because they're what he knows and they're a strong connection to his family#but I think it's nice if he spends his time on field telling others what to do because everyone else learned to fight the OTHER way#(by defending and subduing opponents rather than maiming and killing)#so he prefers to take on a tactician general role despite being perfectly capable as a fighter because he knows what everyone else needs#to do to succeed in fights - especially when things are a bit of a mess - but is afraid to be too rough or scary or violent or Demon Son-is#(the things that make him feel like he doesn't belong in a happy civilian world - WHICH IS WHAT HE WANTS IN MY HUMBLE OPINION.)#in this essay I will explain why this allows for him to show awe and love for each of his siblings' fight styles by utilising all of them#and I just think Dami Babs and Tim could really work together as a detective/tactician comms team (with varying distances from the field)#because I think that'd be so fun: Tim is solving (mid-range) Babs is watching/providing supports (far) and Damian is commanding (close)#because the others are like The Bruisers (in their non-lethal way) who trust themselves to only hurt as much as is needed and are good at i#PLUS babs is SO stretched thin and literally the backbone of the bats so I just want a future where some of the kids become HER robins yk#anyway back to the point of the post:#it's kind of alluded to in 2017 supersons; EVERYONE in it comments on how Robin is JUST doing flips and shouting orders#and jon is like The Muscle and the one Doing Stuff - but Jon IS following orders 85% of the time and it works out well for them because#that dynamic of 'I'm not sure I can do it right by myself and I trust you to be my partner so we can do it right together' really#is my favourite like.. they're both filling these ideas of who they're meant to be and they just :( they just seek their own path together#oh no I lost the point again immediately and it became another WHY DO THEY SEPARATE THEM rant#I just think it's really fun to think of Damian as 'the most well trained fighter but ALSO the most likely to step back from a fight'#like yeah when we add in my thoughts on pit rage it adds some angst but that doesn't matter here in THIS post#have I even talked about my hc on pit rage/madness? I don't think I have LMAO (maybe another day)#anyway it's late I'm tired why do I always chat in the tags so much#my posts are literally all in the tags 2% post 98% tags smh#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian al ghul wayne
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why is so much of sewing just tracing and cutting and tracing again q_q i see why people get projectors and use adobe illustrator now
#drawing up a design that i can easily pattern from my sloper: 😊#actually having to make the pattern by tracing and cutting ad infinitum: 😰#piecing together printer paper to get a big enough sheet of paper and doing this ten million times: 🥲😭#not to mention the IRONING.... prewashing the fabric and having to iron 8 yards of fabric???? excuse me????#and then distorting it as i iron bc it has a slight stretch and i got so tired i stopped being careful 2 yards in#and the way that you're supposed to press every seam... excuse me... am i just supposed to have my iron heated and on standby at all times#AND THE STEAM??? i just got stay tape the other day and thought it'd be a neat alternative to stay stitching#BUT IT NEEDS STEAM TO ACTIVATE (which okay makes sense) BUT long story short i'm too afraid to use the steam function#on my iron because none of us are sure if water should go back into a tank that's been in disuse for 30+ years#so instead i get this water spray pen and delicately spray down the length of each piece of stay tape#before i cover it with a piece of gauze and iron it. and then i have to iron it extra so all the water actually evaporates#oh and the spray pen holds as much water as half a pen so i have to walk to the kitchen every 10 sprays to refill it#and i have to do this for every curved edge on my pattern pieces#i mean the alternative is just stay stitching but then i would have to calibrate my settings for a single layer of fabric instead of double#which means i have to switch my needle out more and i'm still new enough that sometimes i install a needles wrong despite going through#all the same exact motions that i usually would. i'm LITERALLY suffering out here. anyway can't wait to sew or whatever#oh and did i mention i went to a sewing meetup recently? yeah...#everyone there bought like $30-$100/yard fabric and i was there awkwardly knowing i only buy like $12/yard fabric#honestly though i have the opposite problem people usually joke about. i find it So hard to find fabric i actually like#it needs to be the right fiber + right color + right pattern/texture + right weight + i have to know exactly what i'm going to make with it
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everything sucks so bad i'm afraid
#i feel like everyone is leaving me but i can't do anything about it because finals are around the corner😭#like. a master's degree ended up being WAY more demanding than i thought i feel so stupid#i got through all my readings just fine but the linguistics portion of the curriculum is so intense and technical#and honestly it's SO interesting. i really do enjoy it. but the fact that i have to take a final for it is stressing me out#because the material is so rigorous and i'm afraid i won't be able to give it the time it deserves#meanwhile all my friends are drifting apart and my fuckarse sister has decided to go no contact with me/us so i'm lichrally just.#by myself all the time. working and studying#please god bring decemeber quickly and give me the strength to pass everything with flying colors so i dont feel bad about all the people#i lost on the way💀#don't even get me started on my work-related anxieties#how does anyone get by in this world i'm so tired i'm SO. TIRED. AND NERVOUS😭
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Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.
Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.
That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.
The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.
Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.
Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.
#team fortress 2#tf2#that's it that's the only tags i am putting this in. maybe someday i will have the balls to do more but for now that's about it#while i have the chance - and since posts with more of my yapping in the tags don't pop in people's feeds much - i might as well ramble-#-about these guys here. self-inserts or not i'm projecting only half of my bullshit on each one of them. creativity 👍#backup is tall and pale and has sharp canines and more of a dull brown hair colour with tired grey eyes. no amount of babyface or soft-#-hands can really help a motherfucker when he's grimacing so much because he just Hates being around half the people on the team.#cleaner meanwhile is on the shorter side and has constantly flushed skin and brighter colours and whatnot. you can't see it because of the-#-mask most of the time but they do smile a lot more and have a more cheery disposition towards life and see the whole team as their friends!#backup transitioned fully (albeit not very legally lmao) and is scared shitless of not being seen as a man although the last time that ever-#-came up was years ago. he holds onto his last name as part of the heritage he loves and loathes at the same time - attached to his culture-#-and religion and bloodline while also resentful of his family and the regime he knows someone else on the team suffered under.#cleaner just kinda binds and calls it a day. he only does it to confuse the team because while he doesn't identify with being a girl he-#-loves the confused looks his epic gender reveal moment gets. they do not remember their family name or where they grew up or what even got-#-them to this kind of mental state. and he's chill with it he values the here and now way more than some dark edgy backstory.#backup despite trying to be an honest man is afraid of vulnerability as well. he stubbornly refuses to express love towards certain people-#-lest they feel disgusted and turn away. he's afraid of consequences afraid of losing the people he loves afraid of his ''interests'' being-#-what drives them away. it doesn't by the way and he just wasted time being a cold indecisive loser for several months lmao#cleaner wears a suit that hides all of them yes but they pretty much never lie. he is always his truest self and he can always just burn-#-people who don't like him enough to make it a problem. they are a lot more comfortable indulging in their interests - be they innocent-#-and juvenile or violent and dangerous. he is quite open with his affection and his fascinations that backup would rather keep secret.#i want to establish that these two can only exist in separate universes because they both have feelings towards the funny assistant lady-#-and the funny inventor guy (selfshipping for the winnn) and would fight over those two. cleaner would win by the way#it's also a really funny point of comparison. cleaner is objectively more fucked up than backup and still managed to be more normal about-#-their feelings and live as a healthier and happier person than that guy. comedic gold honestly#OKAY I'M DONE if you read up to here you get uhhh a cookie :-)
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Just for any anti-gaylors/rude hetlors out there, it's easy to scroll away from things you don't agree with...
#i'm tired of seeing people dedicate entire blogs to rebloging our post and being rude#just scroll or click away!#are you happy constantly looking at things you don't like???#i don't do that#i screenshot post if i have something to say and hide op's name so no one else harasses them#why would you do that to yourself? put yourself through seeing things you don't like all the time?#how low is that?!?!#it sucks to actively try and hide my gaylor post from general fans FOR BOTH OUR BENEFIT just for them to actively find me and be shitty#it sucks to try and be kind to every kind of ts fan only to not get that in return#and i don't like having to block people but of course i'm not afraid to do so if you bully my mutuals and i#i'm just tired but thankfully i don't get the worst of it yet#i'm deeply sorry to anyone who does#sorry it's late at night i know#gaylor#gaylor swift#friend of dorothea#friends of dorothea#lgbetty#lgbettys
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#tw vent#I am so. so tired#this week hit me like a freight train#I have final coursework to hand in in less than a week and I'm stressing because I was most definitely not given enough time to do it#and everything inside me is telling me I'm going to fail and I'm pretty sure my teachers think so as well#all my friends are high achievers who always get high grades and put their soul into their work and then there's me. Constantly failing#I try so hard but no matter what I do I never make any progress and I'm afraid I'm going to be stuck here#and that eventually my friends will move on academically and maybe socially and I'll be left behind and feel like a scared kid again#I can't go outside for a walk to try and calm myself down because I fucked up my ankle#so I'm sat here in my room surrounded by work I can't seem to even escape for a second#I just wanna explode#I'm getting to the point where I'm just being unproductive because all I do is sit in bed and rot#and if I'm not doing that I'm at work or at school#and of course I can't even sleep. I can't even rest for a moment#this is shit man#so utterly shit#mel's thoughts
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im gonna fuckin bash my head into the wall lol july is almost over and this year has been utter shit for me and i don't see any end to any of it and i'm sick and tired of harboring so much rage towards the people who have hurt me and living in constant fear that everyone else in my life is going to hurt me too
#im not built for anger i don't know where to put it when it happens and it's been one of my biggest emotions all year#it's like i hit a breaking point and now i think abt all these people from my entire life collectively and feel Enraged#but that just transitions to anger directed towards myself a lot of time bc i DON'T know how to deal with it#i just want to heal and move on and foster my other relationships that still exist but to be honest ??#its very hard when i constantly feel like a walking open wound. when every single social interaction feels like a risk#it's not fair to everyone else it's not fair to me but holy fucking shit. i'm afraid i might be completely fucked in terms of all this#maybe i'm just tired idk lol i mean i'm always tired. that also never ends.#i cannot allow life to rid me of my kind heart and sensitivity i know these are good things to have but good lord#im sick of being taken advantage of
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#I'm having a bad day/night#stuff on top of stuff on top of being sick#I'm so tired of feeling insufficient#i really don't like that fall seems to be a trauma anniversary time for me#cause I think that's what's happening#fucking unfair that the only good season would cause me immense and unbearable sadness#rude >:(#and I'm afraid of asking my doctor for antidepressants because I'm already gaining weight on my own#I don't want I grow out of all of my clothes. I like my clothes. I've made a lot of them#but I guess if it's either memory-wiping misery or make a new wardrobe I'll take the new wardrobe??#hard fuckin sell tho.#(are there factors that I could theoretically fix and that would help the sadness? yes. am too much of a coward? also yes)#endev talks to herself#god. fuck. sigh.
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it's straight up unconscionable how it's november. the way i've done absolutely nothing with my life
#😀#like in the beginning of the year i got my license and moved to the other side of the country (again)#but since then it's just been uhhh big mental breakdown and still being so afraid of driving that i haven't gotten a real job#and a lot of sitting in my room and a lot of therapy which i'm not sure is helping. and too much Thinking#and never quite being able to figure out why i can't seem to get my shit together. and being so tired all the damn time#<- hasn't seen a doctor in a year and a half and can't get in to one until february#oh my god lol. does it ever get any fucking easier#me
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