#and I'm not going to be avoiding the heartburn

[neonphoenix]

Two ibuprofen one cup of coffee later my headache is still hanging on and I feel like I'm about to vibrate out of my skin or burst into tears. Maybe both.

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

I folded laundry fresh outta the dryer tonight!!! I had folded a couple of big shirts for myself, but then got into A Zone because ADHD. If I walked away or sat down, the folding wouldn't happen. Seeing as I just had dinner and won't be able to lay down comfortably*, I opted for just folding laundry.

I FOLDED LAUNDRY!!!

Two big loads, another in the dryer, and one more that needs drying.

My ADHD let me fold laundry. Just...wow. Folks with ADHD will know how amazing this is.

Now it's late, and I get up early**, so time for sleep. I hope I can fold the last loads tomorrow. That would be fucking impressive.

[dredshirtroberts]

the nice thing about being back home is that i can make poor food choices and handle the consequences in the safety of my own environment

the bad thing about this is that i am very good at making poor food choices when we're home and therefore safe, and thus must handle the consequences.

[cryobabyy]

What would actually fix me is jealous Carmy but he doesn't even register it as jealousy. He overhears Tina gossiping about Marcus having feelings for Syd and Carmy has to excuse himself to the office and take a big ass swig of Pepto because the sensation feels like the worst heartburn he's had in his professional life. He keeps it cool externally, but internally my boy is tweaking tf OUT. He has to go outside to have a cigarette when he sees them say good morning to each other, and he's lying awake at night staring at the ceiling thinking about how he's supposed to feel about the situation, he's starting to see Marcus as competition in the kitchen which is like. woah? what? nothing happened between them why is he acting like this???? and then he goes to his therapist and he's like

I'm nauseous, I can't sleep, I'm angry at my pastry chef but idk why, I'm avoiding Sydney, I'm smoking 2 packs a day, and I think I have chronic heartburn.

and his therapist is like

You're experiencing feelings of jealousy and anxiety

[stxrvel]

i don't wanna live forever (2)

summary: you and Steve share some time together after so much time apart, and you finally start getting closer to your goal back in Europe after so many years

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +4k

warning: just some bad words

note: hey guys! hope u guys like this part! we're getting close to the mythic winter soldier >:). i'll try to edit and publish next part tomorrow after work. i'm close to finish this fic, probably will be 6-7 chapters. so i'll see you around, thank you for the support <3

part 1 ; part 3 ; part 4

You thought having Steve back would make things better. Not that they were any worse, but there couldn't have been a worse time to go through a goddamn alien invasion.

“Holy shit,” you spoke into the air, but Steve at your side elbowed you, hearing you clearly, his scowl meeting you amidst the masses of air. “Are you seeing what I see?”

“Do you have to say it like that?“

“Ah, poor, right Steve. God save him from hearing a bad word because a little star on his suit will die,” Tony Stark walked past you, catching up to overhear the conversation, teasing you with a smirk on his face. You tensed as he passed behind you, shaking your head to avoid his gaze, earning you a confused look from Steve.

Tony continued on his way, currently accustomed to you not even glancing his way when they were in the same place. His suit was almost completely shredded, an unfamiliar feeling of dread coursing through you from the pit of your stomach until you felt the heartburn in the back of your throat bother you. Ever since you saw on the news that he was proclaimed Ironman, that feeling of dread had been with you every time you saw him. You knew why, but you didn't want to give voice to those thoughts…

“For a person who's lived this many years, you're pretty bad at dissembling,” Steve spoke again as Tony disappeared down the hallway and you shook your head shutting him up, refocusing on what was important. “I can't believe I crashed a plane into the Arctic just to get this thing back to the surface before me.”

“Well, it'll be in good hands now,” you nodded in the direction of the approaching Norse god, his walk a bit overbearing as he dedicated sidelong glances at them as he approached the scepter of Loki, his brother.

“If you're done admiring it, time to go.”

Steve moved in the direction of the elevator, waving his hand for you to join him, but you shook your head in refusal and pointed him to the stairs. Your friend didn't read too much into your gesture, lifting a shoulder and resuming his walk to where the rest of the team was grouped. Just looking at them, you remembered the smug smile Fury had given you when you agreed, finally, to be part of the team, after learning that Steve would be too. He was damn lucky, that's all, because that wouldn't happen again. What were the odds of two alien invasions happening in one year, after all?

After they delivered the scepter and Loki, you'd be long gone from there, focusing on your primary mission in getting into SHIELD in the first place, which Fury had as much knowledge of as you did.

“Hey,” you greeted Steve again, meeting him just after the Norse gods disappeared.

“Hey,” he approached, wearing that brown leather jacket he hadn't let go of since the moment he touched it. The team was taking their leave behind him, each focusing on their own business from now on. As you crossed glances with Natasha Romanoff, that feeling of familiarity coursed through your body once again. It was odd, you were sure you had seen her sometime before. “Do you want a ride?”

You saw Steve shake his head in the direction of his motorcycle, moving faster than him as you sensed Tony was approaching to say goodbye.

“Is something wrong with your friend?” you heard him speak and as each time you couldn't help but compare his voice to Howard. They were so alike in their youth and adulthood. You didn't even want to think about becoming a close person in his life when you knew what you knew. If he found out about it through other means it would be a disaster. As much as you wanted to look out for his safety, perhaps as Howard would've liked, you didn't want to cross that line without figuring out all the loose ends first. That would be a problem if Fury ever thought of summoning them back.

“She's shy,” Steve replied, and you had to hold back the urge to reach back and pat his head. “Big fan of yours.”

“Really?” Tony sounded genuinely surprised. “I thought she hated me.”

“No, not at all. She studied some mechanical stuff too and admires your work from afar. But you know, never meet your idols,” you could make out Steve's smile behind your words, inwardly wincing with embarrassment.

“Well, I'm not that bad. Tell her anytime she wants we can talk.”

You heard no more of their conversation, feeling the bile travel down your esophagus to the back of your throat. How Tony could look at you and not recognize you as the strange woman who sat next to him at his father's wake was completely beyond you, but you weren't too intrigued if it helped you stay away. You didn't want him to start asking questions.

When you heard Steve's footsteps approach and the doors of Tony's red car close, you turned around to face your friend, his face of fake innocence angering you a little.

“You're an asshole,” you spat the words at him almost in a half-whisper, afraid that for some reason Tony might hear them.

“There's not that much of a lie in what I said,” the blond barely lifted a shoulder, mounting his motorcycle.

“You could've simply told him the truth: I do dislike him.”

“That's not true,” Steve shook his head, starting the motorcycle after you got on behind him.

“How could you know that?”

“He's Howard's son,” Steve blurted out, your movements slowing as you tried to get comfortable looking at him in the bike's mirror. “You couldn't hate him, even if you wanted to.”

You didn't rebut, not because he was right, but because it was the first time he'd mentioned Howard since you'd seen him after almost seventy years.

Since you'd run into him in that secret section of SHIELD, you two hadn't had much time for you to fill him in on the things that had happened, Fury jumping into the action directly telling them that the object Steve sacrificed his life for was back in the hands of the enemy and they needed to stop him. You could barely tell him about Howard's death and about Peggy as they were thrown onto the battlefield.

Now, as Steve drove you back to your apartment, all you could think about was that you still hadn't had time to have that talk. That talk where you would have to tell him a lot of things.

The smell of lavender that prevailed in your apartment did little to calm the little anxiety you felt the moment Steve closed the door behind him. A strange tension surrounded your shoulders and you were sure he felt it too, by the odd way he cleared his throat, moving into the living room, where he seemed to almost touch the ceiling of how small everything was.

“Nice place,” he commented absently, eyeing the paintings and colorful bookshelves you had in the living room and dining room.

“Sit. Want some coffee?” you ran to the kitchen, looking to escape that searing uncertainty.

“Water's fine.”

Fine. Water it is.

Returning to the living room, you found him mounted in your largest armchair, his knees too bent toward his chest for all the space he took up.

“So…”

“Are you going to tell me what happened?”

Straight to the point. You didn't blame him, he must have been too curious. You didn't even know how he'd spent those days swallowing the urge to ask.

So you got straight to the point. You told him everything that happened after he crashed the plane. You told him about his funeral, about how the government started chasing you so hard that you had to leave the country and you kept going for years only because of Howard; you told him about how Peggy went on with her life, working, founding SHIELD many years later with Howard; you told him about Howard dying in a car accident, the half-truth burning your throat. Steve didn't even think anything was wrong by the way your voice cracked and you fought to keep the tears inside, what you were realizing was harder now that he was here. You told him that you came back from Europe thanks to Peggy, as head of SHIELD, making sure to keep you under her protection, and currently you still were. Maybe you had as much power as the Director himself because of how much Peggy saw to it that the Feds didn't bother.

You told him about Peggy getting sick, about her Alzheimer's. You told him how she hardly remembered things now; she had few lucid moments and forgot things very quickly. You gave him a moment to assimilate the information when you noticed his eyes sparkling.

“But she… did she live well?”

“Very well,” you nodded, smiling sincerely.

Steve nodded, letting a little tension escape from his shoulders. The silence that enveloped you two was a little more pleasant, leaving room for you to stop overthinking about what you should and shouldn't tell Steve.

“And you… what did you do all those years in Europe?” Steve was perceptive to take the one topic you didn't delve into at all, and you sighed in defeat. “It was… what, forty-five years?”

“Yes,” you nodded in the middle of a sigh, your gaze returning to the black TV screen, Steve's eyes fixed on your profile. “I studied a lot.”

“I assumed so, but was that all?”

“You might say. I studied nine majors,” you counted mentally, remembering the pictures that were stored somewhere in that apartment, courtesy of Peggy and Howard.

Steve whistled, a short laugh following his surprised expression.

“And why didn't you want to talk about that?”

“It's not that interesting-”

“Not that interesting? Better tell me what grades you have,” Steve grumbled, not giving way for you to try to avoid the subject one more time. Being that you had only talked about it with Peggy before, you took an inspiration to remember what it was like to tell her to reminisce with Steve.

“I started with some basics. Bachelor's degrees in math, physics and chemistry. Then I moved on to some engineering: mechanical, electronics, mechatronics. Astronomy, criminology, some marketing to survive when I went back to the States and they were in the middle of the technology revolution. I was studying medicine when Peggy called me back.”

“What year?”

“First one.”

“Wow,” Steve looked at you, as if he suddenly had to see you in a different light, his eyebrows still raised in surprise. “That's amazing. You know a little bit about everything.”

“Yeah, it really helped me get some good jobs and break even so Howard and Peggy didn't have to spend so much,” you nodded in his direction, his gaze intent on everything you were saying.

“I'm glad they took such good care of you,” Steve gave a lopsided smile, the warmest, most memory-evoking smile he could have given you.

“I wish I could've repaid them for all they did for me,” you commented, with a tone of remorse and sadness that Steve picked up on instantly.

“I'm sure they were more than satisfied to know you were okay. That was their priority. You know you couldn't make those decisions for them, right?”

You nodded, lips pressed into a thin line.

Steve took in all the information you had to give him like a sponge, surely thinking that after seeing an alien invasion nothing could be that surprising. You guys spent a good while there, relaxing in your living room, placing food orders when the conversation turned to movies and series that Steve knew nothing about.

You spent an excellent rest of the day, Steve asking the odd question here and there, until you decided to watch the Star Wars movies first at the blond's request. You felt like they were back in '43 again, talking about everything and nothing at the same time, dreaming of the possibility of a life beyond what their social context allowed them.

Perhaps your dream was fulfilled in the most unexpected way possible.

-

The days ahead were now to be very careful. Steve would be spending more time at SHIELD, being that it would become basically his full-time job, and you needed to likewise spend time there focusing on your primary mission.

“What?”

Fury's eyebrows inched up, his face showing disbelief enough to make you doubt your decisions for a second, his forearms resting on his desk leaning forward. You shook your head slightly, maintaining your posture.

“I'm not going to tell him.”

“Why the hell not?” Fury raised his voice, as if for some reason your decision affected him personally.

“Because I don't want to, Nicholas. And I need you to help me cover it up.”

“Ah,” the man slumped back in his black chair, one hand rubbing his forehead as if the subject caused him as much of a headache as it did her. “Not only do you have to lie, but you have to lump me in the lying sack with you.”

“I'm not lying…! That much…”

“You do know that lies have short legs? What are you going to do when he finds out?”

“Nicholas, I need you to understand that Steve is not my priority right now. It's been twenty-one years and we haven't made any progress. I need to get to the fucking bottom of this, because whoever is behind it is still out there. I'm sure of it.”

Fury pursed his lips, barely shaking his head in a subtle nod, reluctanly agreeing with you finally.

“I'll put Steve on the front lines of every mission I can find,” Fury conceded to your request, his index finger tapping the wood of his desk like clockwork.

“Thank-”

“But you,” he raised his hand, pointing that index finger at you accusingly, interrupting your genuine thanks, “you're going to have to start thinking outside the box.”

“I have some guesses, actually.”

Fury rested his arms on the edge of the desk, leaning over to give you his undivided attention.

“Enlighten me.”

-

“So you're going back to Europe,” was the first thing you heard Steve say when you met him at SHIELD, two months after extreme missions he had to attend, barely spending a day at the facility before leaving again.

At first you thought Fury was overdoing it and offered to talk to him if he wanted to slow down, but surprisingly Steve was fine with it. In fact, he told you that it helped him deal with all the stress of having been in the Arctic for seventy years, and since you hadn't been through anything like that, you weren't going to judge.

“Yeah, evil doesn't rest,” you smiled absently at him, holding tightly to the strap of the black travel suitcase with enough belongings for a whole year.

“You know I already have a phone, right? You can call me,” Steve commented, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket and shaking it in front of her to emphasize his request.

“Yeah, you gave me your number last week.”

“Ah, I just wanted to remind you because it's been five days since we've seen each other and I just found out you're going on a one-way trip,” his reproachful voice, but with some amused tones in there somewhere, made you wince as you remembered that you had indeed forgotten to inform your friend that you were going away, for quite a long time. In your defense, you had already gone too many years without telling anyone anything, and you were just getting used to having a friend to talk to more often again.

“Sorry,” you offered him an embarrassed smile, barely earning the shake of his head from side to side. “I'll bring lots of gifts from Europe, I promise.”

You raised your free hand to the level of your head, smiling more confidently at him, with his you better response echoing in your head as you averted your gaze to find behind him Tony Stark walking directly towards where you two were standing. There was no way you could run away from the inevitable interaction with the mechanic without overlooking saying goodbye to Steve, when you weren't going to see him for probably a long time. So you tensed up, the blond reading your body language long before you realized you were being too obvious.

And just as Steve was about to turn around, Tony patted his shoulder in salute.

“Nice to see you again,” through his sunglasses, he smiled openly at you, and you had to force a tight-lipped smile under Steve's tense gaze on you. “What are they up to now? Fury called me in for a confidential thing, won't I be teaming up with you guys?”

You were quick to shake your head, Steve barely muttering a no, amused to see you so dazed and nervous in front of the mechanic.

“That's too bad. I don't think-” Tony interrupted his own words as his phone vibrated in his pocket. Answering it right in front of them, you shrank in place trying to run away from there. “Happy.”

“Tony,” the man on the other end of the line didn't sound so happy to hear it unlike Tony, who had a big smile on his face. “Why are you forwarding my calls?”

“What? No, of course not. It's just that you're on my blocking contacts when I activate do not disturb and since I was driving…” Stark lifted a shoulder, indifferent to the looks you and Steve shared in front of him.

The other line on the phone was silent for a few seconds until chaos broke out.

“Pourquoi tu ne réponds pas aux appels? Pourquoi pas une urgence? Et si ta maison était en feu?” Happy grumbled from the other end, Tony scowling at the phone as if it was the fault of technology.

“Happy, how many times do I have to tell you to stop talking to me in French? I don't under-”

“He's asking you to answer the phone when you call, maybe someday it will be an emergency,” you translated before you could stop yourself, biting your tongue when Steve sent you a raised eyebrow look with a playful smile.

“You know French?” Tony addressed you, probably as surprised as you were because it was the first time you'd actively addressed him.

“She studied mechanics in France,” your friend spoke before you could think of anything on your own, and you had to physically battle to restrain your body from punching him in the face.

Steve had to stop doing that.

“Wow. Impressive,” Tony shook his head in nods, detailing her with his eyes with genuine curiosity.

“Tony!” Happy's voice interrupted the moment that felt tense, and Tony refocused on the reason he'd entered the SHIELD facility in the first place.

“Ah,” the mechanic grumbled, moving to continue on his way. “See you guys later.”

He waved his hand as he walked, turning his back to them and you followed him with your eyes until he disappeared down the hallway. At least he was still alive.

When you looked back at Steve, that strange smile hadn't disappeared from his face.

“What other language do you speak?”

He looked like a child, his eyes sparkling with curiosity.

“I'm not going to talk to you right now.”

You held the strap of the suitcase to sling it over your shoulder and walk in the direction of the exit, when Steve snatched it out of your hands and slung it over his own shoulder, his offended look being the only thing you got back.

“Why not?”

“You need to stop saying those things to Tony,” you frowned at him, lowering your voice as if, again, the mechanic might hear them. “Don't you know that lies have short legs?”

Steve laughed like you’d never heard before, probably not even in the forties, taking his stomach for a laugh. When you went out to the avenue and he followed you with sporadic laughter, you could not help but outline your own smile, missing in advance the time you spent with him.

“I can’t believe you said that,” Steve shook his head, his face red from laughing so much. He was barely calming down when you managed to stop a cab.

“You’re an idiot,” you snatched the suitcase from his hands and gave it to the taxi driver who had just gotten out of his car. “I guess this is goodbye.”

“For now. You’re not going to get rid of me so easily this time,” Steve joked, approaching to wrap you in a big hug. You wrapped your arms around his neck, even though you had to stand on your toes to hug him tightly. The serum hadn’t given you as much height as he had. “Call me, write me or just let me know how you are. At least once a day.”

“Yeah dad,” you walked away, breaking the hug and shaking your hands casually. “I’ll keep you in the loop.”

“Take care.”

“Sure. You take care of Peggy,” his eyes softened, the mere memory of Peggy returning him.

“Of course.”

His warm smile was the last thing you saw before getting into the cab.

[bomberqueen17]

adderall day 1

I'm not going to have any particular deep thoughts about this, but I feel like I should write stuff down. Several people have advised that.

I still don't know how much this is going to cost me, as my insurance couldn't be verified and I'm going to have to do messy things probably to find out. But I've got the pills in my hot little hand, 16 of them, and a follow-up appointment, and perhaps by then I'll know what this is actually costing.

It seems that it varies wildly how people manage to get ADHD dx's. Many many PCPs will not diagnose it or prescribe for it. It seems extremely gatekeepy to me, and not in a helpful way. my own PCP, as I describe more and more of my struggles to get healthcare in general, is being revealed to me to be less and less of any kind of a good fit-- she just seems baffled by everything I say. She asked if I have heartburn, for example, and I said, truthfully, oh yes, if I don't eat regularly, one of the ways I realize I've gone too long is that I start to have heartburn. So I've learned to be conscientious about my eating schedule, and eat small meals and snacks at regular intervals throughout the day, and that has cleared up the problem. And this actively baffled her, she was like "i've never heard of anything like this", and I can't imagine what she thought I was saying. Does no one else in the human race ever get queasy/stomach-acidy from going too long without food? Especially eating heavily and then not eating for a long time afterward? That's the worst for me, so I avoid that. I highly doubt I am the only person ever to experience this. But she seemed convinced that I must not know what heartburn is.

That's just one example. So. If I can get my head on straight at all, I am going to start looking for a new primary care physician. I'm sure this doctor is fine, just not for me.

(She is obsessed that my fasting blood glucose levels are too high. I read an article about it, in the 2010s sometime the CDC decided that 5.7 was a new worrying number (I don't know what the units are, but 7 is what people with well-managed diabetes shoot for), and now they were going to declare this new number "pre-diabetes" and start medicating it. The WHO has refused the concept of "pre-diabetes", pointing out that about 2% of people with this number wind up developing full-blown diabetes whether medicated or not, and that's about the same number of people who develop diabetes without having had this diagnosis, so it is in fact not any kind of reliable indicator of looming diabetes, so it should be referred to as "elevated fasting blood glucose levels" and not the new fictional "pre-diabetes". But there's money in selling that medicine, so American doctors are encouraged to make this diagnosis. And my doctor has put it into my chart that she plans to start me on Metformin if this number does not go down.

I'm refusing that. Medicate me for diabetes if I develop diabetes. I can be annually screened for it just like anyone. Sure, keep an eye on it! I take this seriously. But i am not getting medicated for a condition the WHO thinks is fictional. Thanks.)

Anyway that was a digression.

I'm hoping to at least make a start on dialing in my meds with this online guy, so that when I switch PCPs I can show up with the ADHD treatment as a fait accomplit and not have the new PCP throw a fit. I might try it with the current one too-- "Idk you told me it was incredibly complicated and insurance doesn't cover it so I went to my insurance company and they sent me to this guy and it wasn't complicated at all and I'm responding super well to the treatment so I guess this is what I do now?" but I am just anticipating her throwing a fit of some kind, since she is absolutely convinced I have major depressive disorder and has been trying to get me to go back on Celexa, which did me so much no good that I cold-turkeyed off it and gave myself horrible brain zaps. Don't fucking do that guys.

(It was with this same practice! It's on there, I no-showed to an appointment because I had so little executive function I wasn't even able to keep track of it! And she's still like yah medicating u for depression is super what's going to work. ma'am i have never been suicidal but I remember being on Celexa and most of it was my shitty life situation at the time but mostly it is a gray expanse of despair and ineffectualness, and getting inexorably fatter whilst starting to develop an eating disorder about it, and getting benched by my roller derby coach despite exercising myself to constant exhaustion and performing better than I ever had on the track because she saw my spreading waistline and assumed I was slacking off, and anyway. Yeah no.)

So anyway. I'm letting myself be stream of consciousnessy because it seems right. I had a reasonable breakfast, a lot of water, some coffee, a multivitamin, and my first pill about an hour ago, and am now ensconced in the recliner with the cat because the cat insists. I have started to feel.... kind of... like my throat feels kind of dry so I'm drinking more water, and I just got a little bit not quite dizzy and am acutely aware of all my eye movements, so I guess that's notable.

OK the plan. I would like to someday be able to make to-do lists, that's a medium-term goal. Meanwhile I'm still doing narratives of how i'd like a day to go. I have fallen off that a bit; I've been trying to do not a bullet journal but a just regular day planner in this new year (i got something on clearance off amazon lol) and mostly what I've used it for is as a diary post-hoc, writing down what i got done, and making little notes of what I want to get done, because otherwise my memory wipes itself and I don't know what I did all last week either. I fell off it this week because Dude was out of town and I was off kilter. But I'm going to fill back in what I can remember-- I'm keeping track of what meals I cook, what exercise I do, things like that-- and hope to keep it up going forward.

Routine, I hope, is what will help me.

Today. It is rainy today. I didn't get some of my stuff done while Dude was gone because of course the list I made would have taken six weeks of work, that's how my lists go. But I did get a lot done, so I'm going to write all that down. And today it is rainy, so I can spend time in the basement. What I want to do is empty out all my nice baskets I use to tote craft things around, and re-fill them with more curated selections. I think one basket for like, all the sewing tools, just all of them, in one place, and then another basket that is like, all of the embroidery supplies, and then a container that is An Adequate Selection Of Thread and also machine-sewing supplies? maybe? and then Active Projects can go into a third container that may or may not travel with me. Anyway, thinking about that is a work in progress.

I need to pack for my first trip of the season to the farm. I need to put away all the supplies from painting the kitchen, because I am finally officially totally completely done with that. I need to then tidy the kitchen counter and there's a little wooden cart that used to have our coffee stuff on it and I've been using it to dump all the shit and assorted project detritus from the ongoing painting on, and I need to then move that cart somewhere once I've put away all the things on it.

That seems like a reasonable amount of things to expect to complete today. OK I need to get out from under this cat because I have to pee now. All right. She'll be fine she just wants the chair really.

Yah ok i really gotta pee and dude is in the shower so i'm going to go get dressed and dance around a little lolsob. wish me luck.

[carlos-in-glasses]

Hi Ciigg I’m here for some Nice Ask Week asks for your inbox!!

In honor of you being one of the grand masters of all three in your writing, here are three questions:

1. If we get an ep with flashbacks to either Carlos’ of TK’s backstories in s5 kind of to the likes of ‘in the unlikely event of an emergency’ who’s backstory and which part of it would you like to see? You can also choose one for both if you like!

2. If you choose the theme of one Serious Conversation playing out between TK and Carlos in s5 what would the conversation be about? It can be Very Serious or more lighthearted, and it can be about something that’s canon but it doesn’t have to be!

3. Which gross/embarrassing (not like actually gross, because I don’t either of these human trait are gross and we all do human stuff and have human traits, but you know, something that a lot of people do but that is considered to be kind of taboo and they would be embarrassed about the other one knowing at first, like picking your nose, peeing in the shower, getting the serious and inconvenient runnies/excessive heartburn when stressed/anxious, experience a whole night of being gassy after certain foods, or any other that you think of in that category) would you attribute to TK and Carlos? Bonus question: do you think TK and Carlos share these things with each other or know all of them about each other or do you think they still try to avoid letting each other in on these things to keep the romance alive? Bonus question 2: when did one/both of them first do something gross or embarrassing in front of the other and what was the scenario?

I hope you have a lovely weekend!!! 🌼🌼☺️🐮

Ahh hello! Thank you, that's so very sweet! 🥹

Definitely Carlos. I really want a Carlos begins themed around his relationship with Gabriel and the loss of him, so that Benito Martinez can come back and we can hopefully get some closure. The door is realistically open for this to happen on season 5 or beyond, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed (especially for the 'beyond'!)

I think it would be great for TK and Carlos to have a serious conversation about Carlos' tendancy to avoid and outright lie when he's feeling scared, trapped and ashamed. Written well, it could be totally amazing. I'm still sore about 4x03 and I'd like Carlos to reflect on that whole thing. But I'm sure the show will have forgotten about any of it, so I'm not bothering to keep my fingers crossed in this case!

I love writting stupid and messy sex between them, even if a particularly nasty anon I got doesn't have the literary skills or maturity to understand why. I would love it if on the show it was implied somehow that they'd ended up with a sex injury. I'm thinking of @goodways fic Coming and Going where TK passes out and seeks advice lol it's sooo good. Otherwise, I wouldn't necessarily align it to a gross thing happening, maybe just an injury, but I would love a moment to parallel a soulmates scene and have one of Tarlos bathe the other and work through any humiliation there may be around that.

Thank you for asking!❤️

[vikings-til-valhalla]

So it fucking sucks, seriously. I've been diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis, and my liver is absolute shit and inflamed to hell and back. I'm going to start medication for it, but because of this medication, I cannot drink. At all.

No more fucking mead.

No alcohol at all for that matter.

And I'm just done... I can't even go outside right now because of my flare. The heat worsens it and the sunlight causes the heat to increase, thus decreasing the effectiveness of the meds I'm currently taking including the occasional steroids. But I'm avoiding those steroids at all costs because yes they help, but shit that heartburn is awful.

But I also have to avoid taking any Ibuprofen, Excedrin, Tylenol, Motrin, anything at all for pain.

But I'm in severe agonizing pain beyond belief, more so than what any surgery I've ever endured has caused me combined. And I have no other painkillers to take because my doctor won't prescribe me any.

I'm hardly functioning at all if I'm being honest. I'm always tired. Always in pain. Always suffering. And nothing is making this better. I can't do anything. Can't go outside, can't be in the heat, can't be in the sun, can't do... jack shit.

Life's a bitch. I hate everything. :/

[webnovel-deluxe]

Isn't Being A Wicked Woman Much Better? Side Story Chapter 15

***

That night.

Instead, in the depths of the temple, in the sanctuary, the saint's purification ceremony was held secretly. Also, the knights and escorts brought by her saint kept a close watch around the sanctuary.

“Saint, what happened to the holy things?”

The pope came to the sanctuary as soon as dawn came, and Princess Deborah pressed her temples with a tired face. It seemed that things were not going well.

“that… saint lady. I'm not urging you at all, I'm just asking just in case, will you be able to finish the purification by the full moon this month?”

Soon, ahead of a large-scale monthly event, he asked while trying to hide her nervousness, and the princess pressed her lips together for a while with a face to say something, and then asked.

“Lady… Do you have something to say?”

“Hmm! no.”

I don't think it is?

I think you were just trying to get something out.

“Say anything at ease! God, I am completely on St. We will spare no effort to support you to the best of our ability.”

As she repeated it, her purple eyelashes trembled as if she was thinking deeply about something.

“then… .”

The atmosphere was so serious that the Pope swallowed dry saliva without realizing it.

“Can you help me with the Healing Stone?”

”!“

The pope's eyes quickly shook with agitation at the so unexpected request. Healing stones are mysterious stones imbued with divine power, and not many people even knew their existence.

'It is a mineral that only comes from mines within the Heleia Dominion, so you can't help but know it from the outside.'

Healing stones are monopolized by the temple, and the amount mined each year is so small that they are divided according to rank.

‘Then why is the saint saying that she needs the healing stone?'

Healing stones are used by priests to amplify or restore their divine power.

However, the great divine power that the saint showed in the final battle with the devil last time was enough to affect Heleia far away from the capital. Even the sun would have exerted such an intense divinity, she had gone a whopping two times.

To be honest, asking a saint for a healing stone was no different from asking for a magic stone because the dragon ran out of mana.

'no way… Is there a problem with the divine power?'

Suddenly, I thought that it might have something to do with Princess Deborah's continued avoidance of the shrine's call. She might ask you to show her divinity here.

All sorts of conjectures made his head complicated, but the Pope replied that he knew for once.

“How many healing stones do you need, Lady?”

“The more the better, the shorter the cleanup time.”

The Pope, who was in awe of the highest healing stone he owned, recovered the healing stones of his disciple and handed it to her.

And the next day.

“I need more.”

The saint once again secretly requested a healing stone.

Finally, on the third day, the Pope had no choice but to take out the high-grade healing stone he had in his hand.

“Thank you for keeping your promise to support us with anything. I must be excited too.”

As the saint said that, she couldn't even say that it would be difficult to apply any more because she used her darkened eyes as if contemplating.

'I don't think I'll use all of the divine power in the healing stone.'

That night, the Pope, who had gone to bed with some kind of heartburn, woke up in the middle of the night with a terrifying surprise.

Whoa uh huh!

Suddenly, it was because of the huge explosion that resounded outside the place.

“Pope! Instead, an intruder appeared before!”

Soon, the pale priests rushed to the pope's residence.

“intruder!?”

Aww!

This time, the sound of something collapsing shook the earth. The whole building was on the verge of collapsing, so the Pope hurriedly evacuated after putting on his coat.

“That... That person!”

The Pope was astonished. Not long ago, he was appointed by Priest Maurice, whom he had appointed as headmaster... !

“How the hell did that evil thing break into the temple!? Although the Holy Knights are strictly monitoring, and checking the identity through holy water every time!”

Free was a special devil.

And Priest Maurice, wearing the devil's horns, was grabbed by the collar and beaten without a chance to breathe.

***

At first, Isidor didn't like my flight to Hellia.

If the disquieting warlock forces remained, it was because he assumed that it was most likely in Hellia.

“There seems to be a force in Heleia to incite the people.”

“What kind of agitation?”

“It is said that the saint should consecrate not only the capital, but also Heleia. Heleia has a temple instead, and it is also the hometown of Saint Naila.”

“Ummm…”

“It looks plausible at first glance, but there are also corners that are overheated somewhere.”

“It’s daring to spread public opinion like that and encourage the people… .”

“yes. Maybe he's trying to figure out how to react.”

“Why?”

“This is my guess to the last, but an insider who knows that the color of the holy object has become cloudy, may not have assumed that the princess-sama’s condition was also not normal?”

“!”

“Also, from my experience, the dark under the lamp is very well used by the Warlocks.”

“It sounds like the temple is a typical blind spot.”

“yes. Because it is an autonomous territory, the Empire cannot send troops without a special reason.”

“However, in order to enter and exit the temple, you must be identified with holy water… ”

“Still, there is nothing wrong with being a hundred times careful, so never leave my side.”

“yes.”

Still, I wondered if there were any crazy demons going in and out of the temple, but the words of the thought body were nothing more than confirming Isidore's guess and killing him.

- Always be mindful. That if there is light, there is shadow.

-After all, it seems that something suspicious has flowed into the temple.

The guy didn't contradict Isidor's words, and sent out a gentle wave as if arguing.

'It's as if the warlock infiltrated the temple and fed them all.'

So, as soon as I returned to the temple, I quickly hid the rosary that had been restored to its pure white state.

'Let's keep pretending there's a problem with the relic.'

So that the special remnant hiding in the shrine can feel this moment as an opportunity for genius Il-woo.

'Actually, there's a leak in my power, and I've lost my body in the meantime, so it's easier to deceive. '

Also, there are two reasons why I procrastinate on the excuse of cleansing ceremonies and keep asking the Pope for a Healing Stone.

First, in order to subtly reveal that my divine power status is not good.

'Perhaps the Pope is not trying to hide this fact.'

The temple had the duality of wanting to get along well with the saint, but wishing the saint's halo to be dimmed a little.

Every time a warlock or demon appears, he's been late to react, and he's been criticized for claiming to be a fake saint.

'Even donations have drastically decreased.’

As expected, instead of giving away my high-quality healing stones right away, the Pope retrieved the healing stones that men had for the purification ceremony.

'And the second.'

To make the hidden remnants nervous.

He was afraid that I might regain my power by acquiring the high-grade healing stone the Pope had, so I thought that something was going to come to 'here' to surprise me.

“It was you. The name… Was it Maurice?”

As expected, late at night, a suspicious man appeared around this area.

Inside the sanctuary, in front of the secret door connected to the goddess statue.

'Actually, only the dolls I received from Michelle are placed in the sanctuary.'

Inside the sanctuary, the entrance leading to the large statue of the goddess looked like a sewer lid, so it was also a place where the guards I brought were not properly guarded.

'Actually, I didn't do it on purpose.'

However, short-range teleport scrolls with coordinates here were distributed to allies standing around the sanctuary. So that can run right away if I give you a signal.

“This was once my hometown, did you think only you would know the entrance to the secret passage to the sanctuary?”

Morris, who was looking around with her characteristic smiling face, looked around, and as I approached her, her eyes were smiling and only her lips were grotesquely contorted.

“Come on, wait a minute. Why are you doing this all of a sudden? Lady!”

“You, why are you wandering around here in the middle of the night? You are winning.”

“I just couldn’t sleep, so I went for a walk… .”

“Kids like you have to be just right to make up their minds.”

As I did with Miya, I grabbed his arm and infused it with divine power.

“Aaaaaaaaaah!”

At that moment, even the corners of his smiling eyes were distorted like a devil, and as his skin melted, horns began to appear on his forehead.

‘Because it’s an intermediate level demon, it looks like it can withstand holy water.'

I was surprised in my heart.

This is because he was quite a giant.

“Wow! How the hell do you know!?”

The devil asked, groaning in pain.

“It was suspicious to split the threads from the beginning.”

According to Naila's memory, the devil who pretends to be a human was often over-smiling in order to be liked like this.

'They don't understand the complex emotions of human beings, so they just laugh and watch.'

But the day he came to escort me, even though my father was staring at me like a viper, I couldn't understand the atmosphere, and I was fussy.

'It's not like I'm sane.'

Target is 20 likes and i will upload next chapter.

[aois-amaterasu-painting]

2023 Christmas & 2024 (Jan-April) Twitter

22 Dec Reita: "It's Christmas, so maybe I should throw something from the stage." "A kiss, perhaps?"

Aoi QT: "I had this weird feeling of heartburn, then I checked Twitter and it was you. Mori."

(TN "森" (Mori) seems to be an inside joke rather than its usual meaning of "forest.")

Reita QT: 😘

Ruki QT: "Since it's the day before, I tried to write something enthusiastic, but then I saw this, and now I'm 'Mori' too."

Reita QT: "My dream is to make the whole world green 🌳."

23 Dec Ruki: "Hey, when did you all stop believing in Santa? I honestly thought he would come with reindeer until I was about 7."

Ruki: "I was so excited, half-opening my eyes to watch, and there was my dad stomping in, bringing the present. I had asked Santa for a figurine of my favorite character, but for some reason, my dad got the weakest enemy character instead, and I cried my heart out, lol."

24 Dec Uruha: "It's finally tomorrow 🎄 It's been just over five months since we announced it in July, and time flew by so fast. The cold adds to the atmosphere, but be careful not to get sick 🙆."

24 Dec Ruki: "I'll probably say it again tomorrow, but for now, Merry Christmas to everyone 🙏🎄 Have a great night 🕯️🌙."

24 Dec Reita: "Tomorrow, I'll paint you all red. Enjoy yourselves while you still can today."

25 Dec Ruki: "Thanks to everyone who asked if my leg is okay. You noticed, huh? Mori🌳 No worries, I'm fine 🙆‍♂️ Are your necks doing okay?"

25 Dec Reita: "Good job, everyone! Thanks to all of you, it turned out to be a wonderful night. Thank you for spending it with me 😊 Let’s meet again."

25 Dec Uruha: "Merry Christmas 🎄 Thank you for today ✨ I successfully blew my mind on this holy night. I’m overwhelmed with emotion 🙏"

25 Dec Ruki: "Thank you, 2023 🔥🔥🔥"

25 Dec Kai: "Great job at the Christmas live! Amid a pleasant sense of tension, it became such a fun show that was perfect to close out the year! Thank you. Next year, we might make you wait a little, but we’ll definitely be back! Please look forward to it! I promise 🤝 Great job, everyone 👍"

25 Dec Ruki: "Also, I apologize again for the delay in starting the show due to some trouble. Thanks to everyone who waited, we were able to put on the best live performance under that completed stained glass and lighting. I’m grateful to everyone who created that Christmas space and lived in the same moment with us 🙏."

25 Dec Aoi: "I wonder what this feeling is… This sense of emptiness after getting home, it almost makes me feel like the live concert was just a dream… Today's live was so much fun."

25 Dec Reita: "I'm drinking the alcohol Aoi treated me to 🍹."

25 Dec Reita: "For some reason, I feel like I purely enjoyed today’s live. With tour finals, I always feel a bit more pressure."

26 Dec Kai: "Good morning. Yeah. I really feel like we had a live show. Today, even if I have to crawl, I’m going to the chiropractor 🙋‍♂️.

Kai: "I'm back! 😤 Alright, shall I make a cake?"

27 Dec Aoi: "Hey, what's up? Today I'm going to have my last guitar lesson of the year. I'm good at love, but I still need to practice playing the guitar. :) See you <3"

31 Dec Aoi: "Thank you all for your continued support this year. It has been a very fruitful year, and I’m incredibly happy to have been cherished by everyone. In the coming year, I want to keep improving and repay all of you even more, while always keeping in mind the spirit of self-discipline and perseverance. As we approach the end of the year, please take care to avoid accidents or falling ill, and have a wonderful New Year. — Aoi"

2024

Ruki: "Happy New Year 🐉🔥 I’m going all out again this year. Thank you for your continued support 🙏🔥."

Jan 1 Uruha: "Happy New Year, everyone 🐲 Thank you for your continued support this year as well. Please enjoy a wonderful New Year’s holiday 🎍."

Jan 3 Aoi: "Since the new year started, all I’ve been doing is playing guitar. My fingers are stiff as a rock."

Aoi: "Even though Japan has been going through tough times since New Year's, some might think, 'Must be nice to just sit around playing guitar.' Personally, I believe that instead of tweeting about my worries here, it's better to participate in donations and trust the organizations to help those affected. I won’t tweet about this kind of thing in the future either, nor will I say 'I donated!'"

Ruki QT: "Similarly, I've decided that in 2024, I'll do everything I can to the best of my ability. I want to make sure that whatever effort I put in, even if it's just 1mm, will physically help those affected by disasters or my dear fans who send me DMs and messages. That includes donations. During the pandemic, I realized that words can sometimes be powerless, so instead of saying more, I’ll focus on doing what I can 👍."

Aoi: "But I sincerely hope that the days when everyone can smile will return soon. The sentence got cut off due to the character limit, so please forgive me."

Ruki QT: "And in the future, after the recovery, I want to be ready with the music and places that only we can create. So that when people need music, they’ll remember us first. This is something I learned in 2019 when the future was uncertain. I won’t do things I can’t continue. I’ll hold onto my core. I truly hope for a quick recovery."

Ruki: "So, in 2024, it’s unusual, but I haven’t gone anywhere yet. Instead, I’ve been watching a lot of things I didn’t get to see at all last year while at home. After watching all kinds of genres, I randomly came across a visual kei interview on YouTube, and it was edgy and really interesting."

Ruki: "I think people who are edgy or stick to their convictions are great, regardless of their age. It’s not about comparing yourself to others, but as long as you cherish your own core, that edgy part of you will probably never fade away. Visual kei is really fascinating."

Ruki: "The ones who are anxious are the people on the ground, so I’m going to refrain from shouting 'I’m worried' from a safe place and instead focus on doing what I can. I didn’t feel like being on social media at the start of the year, but from now on, I’ll be posting more. I’ll write again soon 🙏."

Jan 9 Aoi: "No, remember when we were at Budokan? I got "The Apothecary Diaries" manga and read it. It was so interesting that I ended up watching the entire anime adaptation too. 😁"

Jan 14 Kai: "Hearing the news day after day since the New Year, I couldn’t find the right words when I thought about the people affected. For now, I want to focus all my energy on the actions I can take and the things I need to do right in front of me. I hope that normal life returns as soon as possible."

Jan 20 Aoi: "HBD to ME 🍰"

Jan 20 Kai: "Happy Birthday, Aoi 🎂🎉 I'm going to try and get Aoi-kun in the Memo Collection lottery 🫡"

Jan 20 Ruki: "Aoi Birthday"

Jan 20 Reita: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Aoi 🍰 I’m going for a highball today! 🥃"

Jan 20 Uruha: "Happy birthday, Aoi 🎂 Cheers with wine today 🍷"

Feb 1 Aoi: "HBD RUKI 🎂"

Feb 1 Reita: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RUKI 🎙️ Shall we go for an oolong highball today?!! Cheers 🍻"

Feb 1 Uruha: "Happy birthday, Ruki-kun 🎂 I hope you have a wonderful day 🙏✨"

Feb 2 Reita: "Pick playing is definitely the coolest."

Feb 7 Aoi: "The weather is nice ☀︎."

Feb 8 Kai: "Hello. The cold days continue. It seems like a lot is going around, so everyone, take care of yourselves 🤝. Lately, I’ve been rearranging my room and working in complete darkness—it’s become my new thing. Atmosphere is important, after all 🕯️. I can’t wait to see everyone again."

Feb 22 Ruki (about MASS final DVD): "Due to an unexpected issue arising in the final stage of production, the band has decided that we cannot release something that isn’t perfect as a work, so the release date will be postponed. As soon as the new release date is confirmed, we will let you know right away, so please wait a little longer 🙏."

Ruki: "And everyone, it’s been about two weeks? How are you doing? I’ve been getting beat down by the air pressure 🤜."

Ruki: "The whole 'air pressure is crazy' thing feels like something you can’t control, right? Is there anything you’re doing to cope with it? 🤦‍♂️."

Ruki: "Everyone’s replies are so warm. Looks like a lot of people are struggling with the same thing. There’s a lot of useful info, so if you’re having trouble, check out the replies 🤝☕️."

Ruki: "Here’s one useful tip from me 🤲. Goreisan (a herbal remedy) is apparently also effective for throat swelling. I was prescribed it and now I can’t go without it, so I recommend it."

Ruki: "It’s very unfortunate that my first tweet in a while is starting to look like a herbal medicine introduction account."

Mar 1 Ruki: "Thank you all for waiting. Finally, the release date has been set. I believe it’s a work that reflects the current state of the GazettE and will give you something new to look forward to this year, so I hope for your support 🙏🔥."

Mar 10 Ruki: "For our 22nd anniversary, each member has created five unique commemorative T-shirts and bears 🙏. I collaborated with illustrator Kojiman, who creates modern ukiyo-e, to have this design drawn 🔥. I've always thought his work was amazing, so I'm glad we could work together 🙏🔥. It’s really cool, so check it out 🇯🇵👘🕺.

Mar 10 Reita: "Thanks to all of you, we’ve reached our 22nd anniversary. Has it really been that long…? Thank you always! And please continue to support us!"

Mar 10 Kai: "Happy Birthday the GazettE 🎂🎉 ✨22nd Anniversary✨ Each member's unique style really shines through, and we’ve got a fantastic lineup 😌. Don’t miss it 🤝✨. By the way, the sticks my bear is holding are actually repurposed from my used drumsticks 🥁😏."

Mar 10 Uruha: "The GazettE has successfully reached its 22nd anniversary 👏🏻. Although we can’t share this moment with you in person right now, I promise we’ll take all the energy we’ve built up and deliver it to you through new music on stage soon 👊🔥. I’m grateful we could reach this day, and I look forward to the day we can meet again at a live show‼︎🙏."

Mar 10 Kai: "Since today is March 10th, I watched a few of our past live performances, and as expected, the most recent Budokan live was the absolute best! The latest and the greatest, it's that kind of work! Please look forward to it 🤝✨."

Mar 13 Reita: "Until the 18th. Go outside wearing the T-shirt and hugging the bear 🐻"

Mar 18 Reita: "Today’s the last day, so please don’t forget about our other selves 🫡."

Mar 19 Reita: "People I meet often ask me, 'Are you a hairstylist?' and I always answer, 'I’m a concept.'"

Mar 27 Uruha: "Every year around this time, my hay fever symptoms were terrible, but thanks to some recently prescribed medicine, my symptoms have almost completely disappeared. I wish I could tell my past self, who was suffering during live shows, and I’m so grateful to be free from that hell going forward 🥹🙏."

Mar 27 Kai: "Good morning, March is already almost over. Time flies, but it’s limited, isn’t it? Even if you’re going back and forth and not making progress, I believe that the time spent worrying and trying is never wasted. I really want to see you all soon 🤝."

Apr 4 Uruha: "The YAMAHA headphones I impulsively bought are amazing. The headphone cables always got in the way and killed my performance during recording, so this is the perfect solution for me. Once you dive into the world of wireless with no latency, there’s no going back."

Apr 10 Aoi: "Speaking of which, the new fan club newsletter should be arriving soon. We put a lot of effort into updating the content, so I hope everyone enjoys it. Each of the features and comments is carefully crafted, so please take your time and enjoy it. (There are still lots of different projects coming up, so look forward to them.)"

Apr 13 Aoi: "＼＼\ Saturday the 13th //／／"

Apr 14 Reita: "The delayed DVD will be released in just a few days. Please make sure to watch it 🫡."

[functionalechoes]

so.

as it turns out, there is actually a medical reason behind why I get as far as planning things and then never following through. The constant fatigue, inability to focus, the weak limbs, headaches, heart problems, the still unidentified abdomen pains... I've been suffering from anemia and the associated dangerously low hemoglobin count for at least three years. (at least that's as far back as I remember complaining to my doctor about these and his response was "oh you're too young to worry about that sort of thing!")

I'm still undergoing tests to figure out the underlying issues, as the anemia is a direct result of my avoidance of foods that gave me heartburn, but for now I'm just happy to know that there is a reason why every time I sit down at the computer I'm falling asleep within an hour.

I've been haunting tumblr for years, swinging back and forth between attempts at activity (usually during my vacation periods when I haven't used up all my focus and effort at work) and reading posts desperately wishing I could keep an idea in my head long enough to reply to them.

Hopefully, now that I have an idea of what the fuck is going on with me and that I'm starting supplements to help bring me out of the fog, I won't just be wishing. Lets find out together, yeah?

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

Not to defend Dave, because hell no, but could he have Prader-Willi syndrome? It's a genetic disorder that causes a lot of issues, behavioral and cognitive, with the main issue being that the syndrome causes insatiable hunger

We'll never know because he doesn't like being told what to do, so he avoids doctors like the plague because he knows they are right but won't admit it. He can't stand not being the one who is right and will swear doctors don't know what they're talking about.

Take his heartburn problems. Years ago, he was told his heartburn was because of his diet. He refused to believe that soda, candy, pizza, and anything overly fatty(cuz that's where the flavor is!) was the cause. He refused to change his eating habits over a decade ago when told it would be easier on his health in the long run. He now has such terrible heartburn that he can go through a whole thing of Tums in a day.

I've had acid reflux issues since I was 7. I had no control over what I was allowed to eat as a child. I was also forced to diet by my sperm donor for years. There was no obvious reason for me to be having such terrible heartburn that required prescription medication(with massive ass pills wtf). No matter how much or how little I ate, it would get so bad that it would just end up in my mouth without any sort of muscle contraction or heaving like one would when vomiting.

Sperm Donor got annoyed with having to get me meds for it, and the moment one of his friends found out a child was on prescription medication, he stopped giving me it because he swore it made him look bad as a parent. I got no say in the matter and now I never have the means to see a doctor on a regular basis to prove that I'm in need of said medication. My heartburn is, as always, just as bad as it has always been, and I use baking soda to deal with it whenever I have some.

Dave's numerous health problems come down to not listening to doctors and doing what he wants, so if he has genuine problems that could be solved with proper treatment, he doesn't care. His ego is too important.

[wljourney24]

Meet Me!

I'm Asher, I'm 18 and go by she/her pronouns. I'm using this blog as a way to kind of monitor what I eat and how much I eat, as well as a weight loss aide. I have an undiagnosed gastrointestinal issue that makes me not able to eat a lot of foods that seem totally random, as well as GERD that gives me painful heartburn and makes me sick often. This blog DOES NOT ENCOURAGE DISORDERED EATING!! However I would still give a TW for all of my content because I'm also trying to lose weight, and the combination of limited things I can eat and attempting to lose weight often results in low calorie counts and strange food choices for me. I'm aware some of the ways I eat may not be healthy, but with my stomach issues and also my pre-diabetes and high blood pressure, I find that it's the healthiest option for me, and everyone is different. That being said, my posts will have calorie counts as well and I will mark all of these with a TW for calorie counting and restricted eating so that people who don't wanna see that can avoid it. Here are my stats!

Height: 5'4

BMI: 29.7

CW: 173 lbs

GW: 110 lbs

I have my asks open so if you'd like to ask me anything or even just say something feel free! I promise I'm nice :)

[purinfelix]

sassy men apocalypse - football edition ☆

summary: some short hcs abt the football players i think would make the sassiest bfs ft: joao felix, jude bellingham, trent alexander-arnold, andrew robertson warnings: none, just the boys being little shits

a/n: this is so stupid but i'm obsessed with sassy men ok shoot me !!! also this is not anywhere near all of the players i think would make sassy bfs so feel free to comment/send asks abt who else u think would fit 🤭

joão félix

✦ I know y'all have seen this man on field beefing with EVERYONE... the other team, refs, even his own teammates like you cannot tell me he would not be the absolute sassiest boyfriend ever ...

✦ Sometimes you'll try to take candid selfies with him and he'll just be giving you the nastiest stink eye ever - and not even on purpose that's just his default expression

✦ Will whine and complain when you drag him out on shopping trips but then gets weirdly into it and starts giving you advice

"Hold on, I just need to get a new toner," you say to him, as he trails behind you while holding half a dozen shopping bags. "Ugh, can we just go home al- Don't get that one, the ingredients in it will dry out your skin."

✦ For that reason he's also weirdly into USING your skincare products and esp whatever lip balm you use just bc it "works better"

✦ And the attitude only gets worse whenever he gets sick ...

✦ #1 Manflu victim like you'll come home to him spread eagle on the couch, hacking and gagging and weak and you'll think he has some virus but in reality, it's just a cold

✦ That won't stop him from spending the next couple of days coughing extremely loudly and filling every silent moment with sniffles - all the while giving you immense attitude when u try to get him to rest or take medicine

✦ Don't worry though, this attitude immediately disappears the minute he wants cuddles and then all of a sudden he's the nicest, sweetest boyfriend ever (of course he's going to whip out the puppy eyes, he knows your weaknesses after all)

jude bellingham

✦ Does this even need to be said

✦ The absolute quickest with comebacks, and a little too good at insults

✦ Such a little shit honestly like he just lives to annoy you sometimes

✦ I said this in the tags of one of my other posts, but he is so the kind to do dumb little things like spam your phone with dumb selfies if you leave it unattended around him, then acts clueless when you get back

"Jude, what's this." "Huh, how'd those get there?" You watch him rub the back of his nape while avoiding eye contact. "In that case, I'm making it your new contact picture." "HEY, DON'T."

✦ There is a payoff though, because he is the best at taking pictures for you like he knows all the good angles and poses

✦ Once laughed at you for tripping over a rock but then while he was turning to laugh at you he tripped into a puddle and had to walk all the way home with wet pants

trent alexander-arnold

✦ Just SO competitive about everything

✦ Like you've seen him in those challenges he hates losing and this extends to your everyday conversations in which he'll NEVER admit he's wrong

"Trent, I'm not saying I don't like cookie dough, I'm just saying that mint choc chip is better." It's night and you're lying in bed with him and somehow started discussing ice-cream flavours. "How on earth can you say that? It tastes like toothpaste!" "Toothpaste!? It's refreshing, I've got no clue what you're on about." "I feel personally offended, I don't know if we can keep dating after this." You burst out into laughter as he turns to face his back to you, pulling the entirety of your shared blanket with him.

✦ You know how people say boys will do anything if you tell them you'll time them? Yeah.

✦ Once you tried to get him to finish your leftovers at a fancy dinner by telling him you'd time him but this backfired when you had to rush him home after he got heartburn from eating too fast

✦ And the worst part is that you forgot to time him - he would've been so mad if he wasn't too busy chugging Mylanta

✦ A gossipy little bitch. Spills ALL of the team tea to you and will also get way too into your own gossip - he's your own confidante and is absolutely prepared to give you all the reactions you need

andrew robertson

✦ Okay i reckon he's probably the sweetest out of the bunch but that does not mean he is not a sassy little shit okay!!!

✦ The kind of guy who only knows how to cook like three dishes but whenever it's his turn to cook the kitchen is OFF LIMITS to anyone but him

✦ Like you'll try to be cute and couple-y by cooking together but he's running that shit like the navy, got five pots going at once and a kitchen towel thrown over his shoulder

✦ Still manages to undercook his pasta though, although he'd rather eat crunchy pasta than admit he's wrong

✦ gets irritated by your social media antics because he refuses to admit he cares about it too

"Wait, don't touch the food yet I want to take a picture." You hold your hand out to pause your boyfriend who's already reaching for his fork, causing him to groan loudly. "Cmon already, I'm starving!" He pauses for a bit, watching you tilt your phone to get all the angles but then chiming in, "Wait, give me the phone it'll look better from my angle."

✦ And if you think you're escaping his sassiness over text ?? you're dead wrong because he is a chronic '🙄' and '😒' user

[ivehadthatdream]

Since October 21st I've been having weird GI problems (that really most likely started like a year ago), and it's made me have nausea, bloating, general stomach upset, sharp pains in different areas of my abdomen, acid reflux and heartburn, weird bowel movements. It's been difficult :/ some days are better than others and my symptoms aren't as bad. I worked black friday and felt like I was floating and like I needed to sit down. My appetite had decreased too, but my B.E.D brain obviously still gets fixated on food for the dopamine hit, so there has been times where I continued to eat even though I could tell it was hurting my stomach. All of this is probably caused by the horrible binging I had been doing, and yet I still cant fully shake it :/ . It's triggering myself to want to start purging again, because for 1. I feel like if I never stopped purging to begin with then I could've avoided this year long binging battle. I wouldve been restricting much more too. And 2, there's times where I feel so sick and discomfort after eating too much, that I've had to basically "help" myself get it out. It takes me back to those feelings.

I feel like this could be from gallbladder issues, because I eat a lot of greasy foods :/ and my grandma had issues with hers when she was young. Maybe If I hadn't been binging on fatty foods then this couldve been avoided. Or maybe its pancreatitis and its from eating too many carbs since diabetes runs in my family.

My virgo rising ass is over analyzing all the reasons and stressing about it. I know its not helpful!

Of course I've been my doctor, well technically she's only a nurse practitioner, and she thought maybe h pylori or possibly gallbladder but she wasn't sure. She gave me some pills for it, I didn't notice much difference. A few weeks later I had an energy drink and it bloated me so badly that I could barely move, and I ended up going to the ER. And that doctor said they didnt see anything blockages, just stool and to have my doctor refer me to a specialist ...lmao. I wish they would've referred someone for me cus then maybe it would be going faster 🙄 I've been waiting on an update for my referral for 2 weeks now?? I wanna say?? The ER doc didn't seem worried about what was happening, and he said something like " i mean if you're still concerned we can get you an ultrasound for the gallbladder but you're looking at being here about 6-7 more hours" and we had already been there for 6 hours already. And there were other things that happened while I was at that hospital that rubbed me the wrong way, and I was just exhuasted and annoyed and wanted to leave. The doctor wrote on my papers that I refused an ultrasound!! Of course so they don't get sued in case something serious is wrong with me.

Idk if it's H. Pylori because no one has tested me for it. I've been looking into SIBO which is apparently common in people who have had restrictive EDs but I'm not sure, or maybe thyroid issues since that can cause stomach problems?. And as mentioned already, maybe it's gallbladder or a pancreas problem? Idk!! I just wanna know what it is so I can get better

At least my bloating has went down the past few days so I'm happy about that

[motorclit]

My body doesn't reject how my dad makes my baba's spaghetti sauce. However, it's WAY too sweet.

My main concern was heartburn. So to avoid hunching over at a desk, I'm propped up in bed ready to watch Fright Night with my muž.

I INTEND to make that patch tonight. If I do, I'll take WIP pics to show you all. This patch is intended to not only go onto a tiny part of my political pants, but it's also meant to be a tiny patch for other projects like vests and stuff.

And if this patch goes well, I am IMMEDIATELY going to make more for some band pants I wanna get started on and start making arrangements so I can get myself some band shirts made.

EDIT: I stumbled acrossed this post again and noticed my phone keeps autocorrecting "baba" to "baby." So I tried to fix it. (Not that anyone cared; this has no notes. But I don't have a baby unless my cat counts? Don't want a human baby either.)