#and I'm always fine with multiple pov books

[raventhekittycat]

I recently got a bookstore gift card for graduation, and I was wondering if anyone had any good fantasy recommendations? I tend to like stuff by authors such as Tamora Pierce, Naomi Novik, Trudi Canavan, Shannon Hale, but I've also enjoyed some Madeline L'Engle (I know she's more SF than fantasy) and Dianne Wynn Jones. I also recently read a book by Foz Meadows, who's title escapes me now, that I also enjoyed. I'll take recommendations in other genres as well, but fantasy tends to be my favorite, and I'd love to get a new book or author to dive into!

[bteezxyewriter12]

Admire

Pairing- Yeosang x Named Reader

Word count- 8k

Includes- Fluff, secret admirer, fingering, pussy eating, cum eating, missionary, slight dirty talk, multiple orgasms

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @prayerofthehaim @realisticnotes @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @stephy-nicole13

Gif Credit- woochwe

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝ATEEZ Masterlist 📝Yeosang Masterlist

J POV

"So valentine's day is coming up", Yeosang teases

I pause the movie we're watching and turn to glare at him

He really wants to do this?

He finally is able to hang out with me after ATEEZ promotions ended and he wants to piss me off?

Fine

"Oh wow, you can read a calendar. Congratulations", I grumble

He laughs, "Got a date this year?"

He's really pushing my buttons

I've never had a valentine or even a boyfriend

I've never kissed anyone or had sex

I've never held a guy's hand

I'm not like him

I'm not confident, beautiful or friendly

He has his pick of thousands of girls who throw themselves at him

It's easy for him to get a date or a one night stand

As for me, ever since I was a kid, I was the ugly friend

Yeosang is the only guy I can speak to and that's because we've been best friends since infanthood

Around other guys I'm shy, stuttering, my face is constantly red and I'm awkward

A total fucking dork that loves video games, books, Pokemon and dungeons and dragons

I can't even talk to the ATEEZ members and I've known them for five years

"What do you think?", I snap

"C'mon Jo, you need to get a date sometime"

No I don't

I've given up

Out of my group of girls friends, I'm the unattractive one

In school, no one ever wanted to date me, often asking one of my friends out

The guys I liked liked my friends instead of me

My friends tried to talk to guys for me, hyping me up but the guy always rejected going out with me

And my friends are beautiful, Yeosang included so I've always felt so ugly

It's not their fault but mine

So I've given up on finding a guy

Especially since the guy I want is him

I'm not touching that with a ten foot pole and I will go to the grave with that secret

To be able to be around him and speak to him, I push away the feelings, lock it in a box inside me and shove it away

"Why are you giving me a fucking hard time Yeo? You know I can't talk to guys and you know no one wants me anyway"

"That's not true", he says to which I snort

"Stop fucking with me. No one likes the way I look and no one knows my personality because I'm catatonic around guys. So spare me"

"Well maybe you should try dressing differently"

Not this shit again

Ever since he joined ATEEZ, Yeosang is so into fashion and he's constantly trying to give me advice or take me shopping

It sounds like he's being an ass but he's not

He's really trying to help me

But I refuse to change the way I am

If someone wants me, I'm not going to pretend to be someone else

"Maybe not wear only tshirts and sweatpants. Maybe wear your hair down sometimes. Maybe put some makeup on. Maybe get some contacts"

No

I tried putting eyeliner on once and I almost took an eye out

I tried contacts and I couldn't get them in at the optical store

I kept stabbing myself in the eye with my finger and any time I got the contact in, I blinked and it fell out

I'm sticking with my glasses

I hate my hair in my face so I always wear it in a ponytail or bun

It's long but I'm scared to cut it because I've never had short hair before and I'm afraid it's gonna look stupid on me

So hair up it is

And as for my clothes I like slightly baggy tshirts to hide my big boobs and sweatpants are the most comfortable

I hate dresses, jeans that are too tight and tighter shirts show my boobs and dirty guys always say nasty shit to me

I'm not dealing with that

"No Yeo. I'm not gonna pretend to be something I'm not. If a guy wants me they get me how I am. It just so happens no one wants me."

"But-"

"No buts Yeo. Just stop talking about it. I'm destined to be alone and I'm fine with it", I tell him, lying through my teeth

Of course I want a boyfriend

I want someone who loves me, I want to be in a relationship, I want to have sex, I want to get married, I want kids

But right now I don't think it's in the cards and it may not be in the future either

I try to not think about it

"Jo-"

"What about you?", I interrupt, "Do you have a date?"

I want to stop talking about me

Better yet I want to get back to the movie

He smirks and that tells me that yeah he does

"Yeah"

"Oh. Nice. Is it the makeup artist you were telling me about?"

A few weeks ago he was telling me how pretty this girl is, that he likes her personality and was thinking about asking her out

My heart deflated a little but I'm happy for him

I'll always support him in anything and as long as he's happy I'm good

"No. A new girl"

"New girl? Where'd you meet her?", I ask, ignoring the pain in my chest

"At a fan meet"

"Is she....a fan?", I ask, surprised

He always said he'd never date a fan because they only knew the idol him and wanted him only based on that

He'd fuck them yeah but date no

I guess the right girl can make things change

"Yeah, she's a fan"

Fucking lucky bitch

"How'd you get her number?"

I know security is serious during these fan meets

After all, a crazy sasaeng could show up with the intention to hurt the idols

"Had her write it on a post it. Told her I'd text her", he explains, "I did, we talked for a few weeks and we have a date on valentine's day"

Yeah she's so fucking lucky

"Well that's great", I answer, fake smile plastered to my face, "I hope it all works out for you"

He nods, "Me too"

After a minute of silence, I say, "Can we get back to the movie?"

He nods, "Yeah Jo"

I nod, looking back at the TV and unpause the movie

Grabbing a pillow, I hold it tightly to me, forcing myself to watch the movie

Forcing myself to lock the hurt I feel about Yeosang going on a date with a fan in that tiny box inside me so I can continue to be fine

--------------------------------

Valentine's Day

"Joanne!", Balam calls me

I look up from the pills I'm putting into the bottle

"What? I'm counting", I answer

I can't get this wrong or bad things can happen to the patient

"There's a delivery for you"

What?

What delivery?

This is my job

I never order anything to the pharmacy

It's always to my apartment

So what the fuck?

"You need to sign for it"

I sigh, pouring the pills I put in the bottle out and back into the pile

I have to recount it

Getting up from my spot, I walk to the front of the pharmacy

A guy is standing by the register with a bouquet of flowers

Bypassing him, I look around for the delivery guy

"Uh Balam, there's no one here"

"The flowers genius", Balam says from the register, "The flowers are your delivery"

Flowers?

I can't take care of flowers

Everyone knows I kill them even when I try to care for them

I walk to the guy who hands me a clipboard with papers on it

"Sign please"

I scan the paperwork and sign the bottom

He hands me the bouquet then leaves

"Who's your Valentine?", Balam teases

I roll my eyes, "I don't have one. Hence why I'm working on Valentine's day"

I literally have no idea who sent this

"Read the card genius"

Turning the bouquet, I find the card on the other side

Pulling it out, my hand grazes the petals of the flowers and they feel strange

Holding the flowers to my nose, I smell them

They don't smell like flowers, more like a flowery perfume

The fuck?

Opening the card, it says

I know you aren't great with real flowers so I thought I'd get you ones that can last forever

Love,

Secret Admirer

My mouth drops at the words "secret admirer"

It sounds so childish, so cliche but for some reason it makes my heart beat faster

Who sent these?

Who actually likes me enough to send them?

No guy I know has ever shown any interest in me

And the only guys I know are the ones here at work, the ATEEZ members and Yeosang

And aside from Yeosang, I don't really talk to my male coworker or the members

So who is it?

It's someone who knows I can't care for flowers

Someone who remembers that and decided to get me fake ones instead

It's sweet

I feel myself smile softly at the flowers noticing that they're my favorite

Japanese Cherry Blossoms

Whoever sent this knows my favorite flower and went out of their way to find enough fake ones to make up the bouquet

"Hello, Earth to Joanne? Who sent them?", Balam asks

"I don't know. It doesn't say"

"Oh my god it's a secret admirer?", Balam squeals, "That is so romantic"

I mean I guess so?

I don't know, I have no experience with this

"Yeah", I say smiling

It may be nothing serious but it feels good to be noticed even if just for a moment

"I gotta get back to work", I say, going to the back of the pharmacy to my work space

I put the flowers down, next to my computer and get ready to refill the bottle

Right before I begin, I glance at the flowers again and I can't stop the smile forming on my face

--------------------------------

Opening the door to the cafe I go to everyday, I walk to the counter, scanning the menu to figure out what I feel like having for lunch today

I wait for the cashier to come so I can finally eat

It's taking a long time and I wonder what's going on

The cashier, Byeol, is always here, waiting for customers to come

So where is she?

I wait another five minutes, getting a bit annoyed

This is cutting into my lunch time

"Hi Joanne! Give me a minute please", Byeol calls, poking her head from the kitchen door

"Yeah ok", I grumble

I'm hungry and I don't want to get hangry or I can be very unpleasant

Just ask Yeosang

"I'm here", Byeol says, coming out with a tray of food and a drink

She places it in front of me, smiling, "Here you go"

"Uh...", I trail off, looking at the tray

It has all my favorites on it- Italian club sandwich, a blueberry lemonade and a original cheesecake slice

"What is this?", I ask, so confused

"Oh wait", she says reaching into her apron, pulling out an envelope, "Here. For you"

I raise my eyebrow, taking the envelope and opening it

There's a folded paper inside and I read it

"I know how much you love this cafe and I wanted to treat you to all your favorites. You deserve it. Enjoy"

Love,

Secret Admirer

My mouth drops, reading the note

Secret admirer again

Apparently this person knows a lot about me to get all my favorite things from this specific cafe

"Someone must really love you", Byeol says, smiling

"Yeah", I answer, doubtful this person loves me

Likes me maybe

Trying to be nice, more likely

"Uh did you see who ordered this?"

She shakes her head, "Someone called and explained what they wanted to do for you. They ordered your food for 1 pm and a delivery man came at noon, dropping off the money and that envelope"

That is so strange

Going through all this trouble for me?

And this person knows I take my lunch at 1pm

My coworkers know that I take my lunch at that time

But I doubt any of them know that I can't care for flowers

I literally have no idea who this is

"Are you alright?", Byeol asks, snapping me out of my thoughts

"Uh yes. I'm just surprised"

I thank Byeol, take the tray and go sit down to eat

I am hungry and these are my favorites so I should eat it

As I eat, I enjoy the food while wracking my brain for whoever this admirer can be

--------------------------------

Parking my car, I get out and walk toward my apartment building carrying the flowers and chocolate basket

When I got back from lunch, there was a basket of my favorite chocolate on my work desk- a mixture of Reese's peanut butter cups and York peppermint patties

Along with another note

"Just because these make you smile when you eat them and I absolutely love your beautiful smile"

Love,

Secret Admirer

Needless to say, I smiled reading the note

And yeah I ate some already but there is so much chocolate that I'll be set for days

Taking the elevator to my floor, I walk towards my door, already seeing an envelope taped to my door

I hurry to the door, taking the envelope, then going inside my apartment

Putting the flowers and chocolate on my coffee table, I sit on my couch opening the new envelope

It feels heavier that the other ones

I pull out the note, then reach in and take out a necklace

I gasp, looking at the beautiful dragon pendant

The dragon is curled around a crescent moon and a dark blue gem in the center

It's amazing

Opening the paper, a smaller piece of paper is inside and I read it first

It's about the necklace describing that the metal is platinum and that the stone is a sapphire for September birthdays

It's my birthstone

I'm just in awe

I look at the note in my hand

"I saw this dungeons and dragons pendant and immediately thought of you. I just had to get it. And I'd like to ask you on a date tonight. Please meet me at your favorite restaurant Boccalino at 7:30. I promise I am not a stranger and you know me. I will be wearing black pants, a black button down shirt and a leather jacket. Please wear the necklace. I'm sure it will look stunning on you"

Love,

Secret Admirer

I'm completely stunned

Someone is actually asking me on a date

Someone actually likes me

I am weary of meeting this person but they assured me I know them

And it's a public place so I can just scream or leave if it's a creep

I'm definitely going, even if it's just to see who it is

The only problem is that Boccalino is a fancier restaurant

It is my favorite even though I've only been there a max of three times

It's more like a fancy favorite restaurant

I don't know if I have anything fancy

I'm going to have to dig deep in my closet to find something I can wear

Glancing at the clock, it's already 5:30

I have to shower then get ready

I need to start moving

Getting up, I take the necklace with me into my room to get ready

--------------------------------

Parking the car, I get out and pull my dress down

I managed to find a long sleeved modest lace dress that my friend bought me and I never wore

I was lucky that it fit

The necklace goes really well with it too

There was no way that I was wearing the matching heels my friend bought in an attempt to sexy me up

Those things looked hazardous

I just put on my black flats I use to go on job interviews

It was as good as it would get

I left my hair down, parted at the side and it's driving me crazy

It's like a sheet down my back and the shorter pieces in the front keep falling in my face

But I can deal with it, seeing as I don't have any make up on and my glasses

I should of listened to Yeosang and learned how to do makeup and put in contacts

I'm kicking myself for ignoring him right now but I honestly never thought I'd ever be in this situation

Holding the small handbag, I start walking from the parking lot to the front of the restaurant

I'm excited to see who this person is and at the same time I'm terrified

I don't know how I'm going to speak to them without shutting down

I know I'm going to make a fool of myself but there's nothing I can do about that

As I get to the front, I see someone standing by the door, his back to me

In black pants, black button down and a leather jacket

I feel like I'm going to throw up as I walk closer

The closer I get, the more familiar the guy looks

He has longish black hair and the way he stands looks familiar

He turns around and I realize it's Yeosang

Oh shit, is he here waiting for the ATINY he has a date with?

What are the odds that he's taking her here at the same time I'm going to be here?

My chest hurts at the thought of him with that girl but I remind myself that I'm here with someone else too

The only person around is Yeosang

I guess I'm early or the guy is running late

"Hey Yeo", I call, walking closer to him

He looks to me, his beautiful smile on his face, "Hi Jo"

"What are you doing here?", I ask, "Waiting for the ATINY you're taking out?"

He raises his eyebrow, slowly shaking his head, "Uh no"

No?

But he said he had a date

"Oh. So why are you here?"

"Jo, I..uh..I'm here...for you"

I hear his words but they're not sinking in

"Wait...what?"

"I'm here for you. I...I'm the one who sent you all the stuff today"

"What?", I repeat, a million thoughts running in my head

It was him?

But why?

I know for a fact he doesn't feel that way for me

So why did he do all this?

Because he felt bad for me?

Because he knows I can't get a guy?

Oh my god

"I'm...here for you", he repeats and I just lose it

"Are you serious?", I shout, tears welling in my eyes

Is this some kind of funny joke to him?

He actually has the nerve to look at me in confusion

"Jo-"

"Why did you do this? To fuck with me? To tease me? To prank me? Did you lose a fucking bet or something?"

My god it hurts so much

I really thought that maybe someone actually liked me

Maybe one of the ATEEZ members

Or someone at work

Instead it's him playing a joke on me

"Jo, no this isn't a prank", he says

Yeah right

I don't want to hear any excuses

I just want to go home and cry

"Fuck you Yeosang"

Turning from him, I start walking away quickly

"Joanne wait", he says, his footsteps fast behind me

He moves in front of me, stopping me, "Wait. I can explain"

"No you can't"

I try to move around him but he moves with me staying in front of me

"Can you just listen?"

"No"

"Goddamn it, I fucking love you!", he exclaims

I stop, staring at him in disbelief

Is he seriously going with this?

That's unbelievable

"Yeah ok", I roll my eyes, getting angry

"I do. I love you. My god, you're so fucking oblivious. You don't pay attention to me at all or you'd see I'm stupidly in love with you", he yells

I stand there in shock, my brain trying hard to work out what he's saying

It's impossible

There's no way, he's lying, he's never...gave no sign...nothing

"I don't...you don't....", I stammer, my brain not connecting to my mouth

"Ahhh", he yells, his hand moving behind my head, pulling me to him as his lips crash against mine

Stars blast in my vision and I feel like the ground under my feet is tilting as his mouth moves against mine

And fuck, I actually feel the love he's pouring into the kiss

He not lying

He really loves me

I grab onto his shirt to steady myself, realizing that I don't know how to kiss

I try to follow what he's doing, moving my mouth against his

His arm moves around my body, pulling me against his, his other hand on the side of my neck, holding me softly

I feel his tongue lick my bottom lip and I instinctively open my mouth

His tongue slides in, touching mine and I let out the most embarrassing moan as tingles spread from the top of my head to my toes

It just feels so good

I never thought kissing could feel like this

But somehow I don't think it would feel like this with anyone but Yeosang

His tongue plays with mine and again I copy his movements, hoping that it doesn't suck for him

I don't know how long we kiss for but when he pulls away, he leans his forehead against mine

"Do you believe me now?", he asks softly

I'm completely speechless, my mind still preoccupied with his kiss

So I just nod

"I love you. I want to be with you. You're all I fucking wanted since we were in high school"

He just keeps on blowing my mind

"You...you never said anything"

"I couldn't. I was scared you wouldn't want me. Then I left to join BigHit, then KQ to train. Then we debuted and there was a dating ban for a year", he explains, "And I just didn't think you'd want me or you would of given me some sign that you did"

"C'mon Yeo, you know I'm completely stupid when it comes to this stuff", I tell him softly

He laughs softly, "Yeah but I didn't know you'd be this clueless"

I just smile

"Please jagi, tell me you feel something for me"

I do and I want to tell him I do

I just have to ask him something first

"Yeo, you...you said you had a date-"

"I lied jagi"

"Uh why?", I ask, confused

"Because I was trying to see if you feel anything for me or if you'd get jealous. I was scared to tell you my feelings Jo and when you had no reactions to what I said about the ATINY, telling me you hope things worked out for me with the fan, I figured you didn't see me like that. But I had to try. I couldn't give up on you without trying"

I'm at a loss

He's normally so confident, I would never think he would be trying to gauge my feelings for him

Then another thing occurs to me

"If you wanted me then why were you trying to give me advice on fashion? I know you like fashion but that's not me Yeo and I'm not changing the way I dress or do my hair or anything"

He smiles, softly touching my cheek

"I don't want you to change baby. I love the way you dress. I love your ponytails, your glasses, your sweatpants, sneakers, Tshirts. I don't want you to wear make up or contacts if you don't want to. I just said those things because you were saying that no one wanted you. I thought if I gave you some advice you could be more confident in yourself. But I love everything about you baby, including the way you dress. You're so fucking beautiful jagi, it's hard for me to tear my eyes away from you"

My mouth drops at his confession

He thinks....I'm beautiful?

He's beautiful, how can he think I am?

"I swear Jo, I don't know how you didn't catch me staring at you. I always had an excuse ready in case you caught me and called me out on it"

"I...I didn't notice because I was forcing myself not to stare at you", I confess

"Me?", he asks, hopefully

I nod, "Yeah you Yeo. I love you"

A huge smile forms on his face, "Yeah?"

I nod, "Yeah. I kinda fell in love with you around the same time you said you fell for me"

"Looks like we were both dumb"

"Yeah", I agree

"But...we're not dumb anymore?"

I shake my head, "No. I want you Yeosang. I always wanted you"

"We thank god because I was always yours. Always"

I smile, realizing that this beautiful man, this famous idol is finally mine

"I want to kiss you again", I say, my cheeks heating up

"You can kiss me anytime you want jagi", he assures me, "I'll never get tired of your kisses"

I know my face is even more red from his words

I never thought I'd hear things like this from Yeosang

"I..I don't know...what to do", I say softly, feeling inadequate

"Don't worry jagi. I'll teach you ok? I'll teach you everything"

I nod, relieved that he's not upset that I have next to no experience

He leans down, his lips against mine again, shivers running up my spine

Moving my mouth against his, I let his tongue in, his playing with mine

He takes my arms, moving them around his neck and I hold on while his arms move around my waist, holding me right against him

Slowly he pulls away, leaning his forehead against mine

"I love you"

"I love you", I tell him

"So you wanna go inside for our date?"

I nod, "Yeah. Definitely"

He takes my hand, pulling me with him

His hand feels so soft and honestly perfect around mine

"By the way jagi, you look fucking beautiful", he says, smiling at me, "And so fucking hot"

My mouth drops, "You're kidding"

He shakes his head, "I'm not. I don't think I've ever seen you in a dress. And that short skirt is driving me crazy"

Holy crap, my boyfriend thinks I'm hot

That is a word I never thought would ever be associated with me

"Yeah well that's fair since you drive me crazy all the time"

He snorts, "I've just been suffering in silence jagi. You drive me crazy all the time too"

I can't believe I'm having this conversation

And with Yeosang to boot

"I don't think this is an argument either of us is going to win"

"Yeah you're right", he agrees, "So let's just have a nice first date then?"

I smile, "Yeah baby"

He looks over at me, a big grin on his face, "I like that"

"What?", I ask

"You calling me baby"

I blush hard, not even realizing I called him that

"Can you keep doing it?", he asks

I nod, "Yeah"

He smiles, kissing my lips quickly, then opens the restaurant door, leading me inside

--------------------------------

My arms lock around Yeosang's neck as his lips stay against mine, his tongue playing with mine

After our amazing date, we came back to my apartment and we haven't been able to stop kissing or touching each other

He carried me to my bed, laid me on it and has been kissing me ever since

I learned quickly and I think he likes the way I kiss him based on his constant moans

"Mmm want you jagi", he murmurs against my lips, his hands running down my body

I know what he means when he says that and I do want him too

So much

I'm just scared because I've never done anything but I'm not letting that stop me

"Want you too Yeo", I answer

He already told me we don't have to do anything tonight, that's he's fine with waiting but I'm not having it

He's mine and I want him

I feel him smile against my lips, moving his kisses to my neck, his hands bunching up my dress

Holy shit, that feels amazing

"Fuck I'm so fucking excited jagi", he says, his hands touching my skin under my dress, every nerve on fire from his touch

"What?", I get out, his touch feeling so fucking good

How can touching feel so good?

"I said I'm excited to be with you baby", he repeats

"Why?", I ask, so surprised

I haven't done anything

I have no skills, I don't know what to do

This is going to suck for him

"Because baby, I'm the first one to see you naked", he murmurs, pushing my dress up more, "I'm lucky jagi. I'm the first one to ever kiss you. The first one to touch you. I'm gonna be the first one to undress you, the first to touch and suck your nipples, the first to taste your pussy, the first one to be inside your pussy. I'm the first one who's gonna make you cum. In my mouth and on my cock"

Oh my god

He's so fucking hot

Everything he's saying is true and it sounds like so much fun

He leans down to my ear whispering, "I'm the first one to tell you I love you and I want to be the only one who ever says that to you. I want to be the only one you say that to"

"You are Yeo. You're the only one I ever loved"

He leans his forehead on mine, moaning softly, "Fuck jagi, I'm never going to get tired of hearing you say that"

"I'll always say it Yeo. I love you"

"Fuck, I love you", he says, then his lips are on mine, kissing me silly

His hands move down, slowly pulling my panties off

I have to admit, I'm so excited and I lift my ass up to help him

Her throws my panties behind him, then helps me sit up as he takes my dress off

Next to come off is my bra and I realize I'm completely naked in front of him

He slowly pushes me back and I lay down, his eyes raking over my body

I blush hard just as he says, "Oh my god jagi"

His hands roam all over my body, his fingers trailing all over my skin, making me shiver

"You're fucking gorgeous Jo", he whispers, blowing my mind, his eyes moving to mine, "My perfect jagi"

My mouth drops as I process his words

"Perfect?"

"Absolutely jagi", he whispers

I don't know what to say, my cheeks on fire so I just move my hands to his body, tugging up his shirt

He moves his arms from me, letting me take his shirt off

I'm hit with his gorgeous body, muscles fucking everywhere

His chest is defined, abs cut into his stomach, his arm muscles bulging and I'm so fucking turned on

My boyfriend is so fucking hot

I mean I knew he was, I saw the Deja Vu video but seeing all of him....it's turning my brain off

"You ok baby?", he asks

"Yes", I whisper, biting my lip, reaching out and touching him

His eyes close as I run my hands all over him, his skin so soft

"Mmm jagi", he murmurs, my hands sliding up to his chest, my fingers dancing along the muscles

I slowly move my hands down, reaching for his pants, I undo his belt, opening his jeans

My hands shake while I pull his pants and boxers down as far as I can

He moves off the bed, getting his clothes off

I lift my head, gaping when I see him completely naked

His thighs are muscular too and my eyes move to between his legs

Oh my fucking god

His dick is so huge

He's already hard, his thick length standing at attention, his tip wet with cum

"Yeo, oh my god", I murmur

He smiles softly, coming back on the bed

His opens my legs, moving between them as he looks down at me

"Am I good for you jagi?", he asks shyly

"I ...uh...what?", I stammer

"Am I ok for you? Am...uh... am I...uh is my body..... what you want?"

I'm completely floored at how shy and insecure he sounds

"Of course you are baby. You're perfect", I assure him, "You are what I want Yeo. You're perfect the way you are"

He smiles happily, leaning down, his lips against mine

I fall into his kiss as his hands move and wrap around my boobs, squeezing so gently

Moaning in his mouth, he kisses me hard then moves his lips from mine, pressing kiss after kiss to my neck

Shivering against his lips, he laughs so sexily, turning me on

He kisses my chest, dragging kisses down to my boob

I wait in anticipation, his kisses getting closer to my nipple

When he gets there, his tongue licks my nipple and I moan so loudly, pleasure like I never felt filling me

His mouth closes around my nipple, sucking softly, making me cry out, my pussy getting so soaked

I don't think I've ever been this wet before

Of course it's him that makes me feel like this and I'm glad for it

He switches nipples, his free hand softly trailing down my body, down to in between my legs

His fingers rub on my clit, pleasure hitting me hard, my body shaking, moans falling from my mouth

He rubs faster, pressing on my bump, my pussy completely drenched

"Yeosang. Oh god Yeosang"

His mouth sucks harder on my nipple as his fingers move from my clit further down

I'm scared it's going to hurt but I trust Yeosang

I know he won't hurt me and if it does hurt, he'll stop

His fingers move along my pussy, groaning into my nipple, "So fucking wet baby"

I feel my whole body flush in heat, from his words and from how he sounds like he likes it

His fingers stay at my entrance and I feel one starting to press inside

My legs tense and he lets go of my nipple, kissing my neck softly

"No baby, relax for me", he murmurs, "I promise it's gonna feel good baby but you have to relax ok?"

"Ok Yeo", I answer, trying indeed to relax

He presses kisses to my neck and chest over and over, melting me into the bed

His mouth reattaches to my nipple, sucking softly, his finger sinking inside me slowly

It doesn't hurt at all

In fact it feels good

"Mmm so tight", he murmurs, "Can't wait to feel this pussy around my cock"

Oh my god

He so very slowly moves his finger, pulling out, then sinking back in, wiggling around

Over and over, pleasure slowly building

After a few thrusts, he adds another finger, both of them buried deep inside

His mouth doesn't stop on my nipple, sucking as his fingers stay inside, pressing around like he's looking for something

What, I don't know

Suddenly his fingers press on a spot that has my pussy gushing more juice, the bliss slamming into my body

"Oh fuck", I moan, one of my hands burying in his black hair, the other gripping the sheets so hard

"There we go", he says, his voice even deeper than it usually is

I feel his fingers leave my cunt only to surge back in and hit that area that feels fucking unbelievable

"Yeosang!"

"Got your spot baby", he murmurs, moving his hand quicker, spreading his fingers open inside me

I can't fucking believe how good it feels

I've touched myself before, used toys too but that pleasure is nothing compared to what he's giving me

As he fingers me, his thumb moves to my clit and he starts rubbing

"Fuck, Yeosang!", I cry as stars blast in my eyes

Holy fuck, this pleasure is on another level

It's different when someone else is pleasuring you

And add to it it's the man I'm head over heels in love with, the pleasure is astounding

My legs shake as I get closer to coming

It's just so much and I can't handle it

"Yeosang! Oh fuck", I yell as my orgasm hits me so fucking hard

His fingers move faster, his mouth sucking my nipple faster, the bliss incredible

"Yeah baby, cum for me", he murmurs, "So pretty jagi. My baby is so beautiful"

"Oh god. Yeosang"

God, is this what I've been missing?

This is what it feels like to be with someone else?

Somehow, I doubt it would feel this good with anyone else though

When it's over, I suck in air, feeling like I'm part of the bed, just reveling in the post orgasm bliss

Yeosang moves off me and I wonder where he's going until I feel his hands spread my legs open wider

Pleasure suddenly slaps me in the face and I shout his name as I lift my head up

I freeze in shock at the sight of my boyfriend eating my cunt like he's starving

His tongue flies all over, licking in between my slit, moaning like he's the one getting oral

His eyes lift to mine and I'm completely turned on

He looks so good in between my legs

He holds eye contact as his tongue slides up my pussy only to slide back down

His tongue runs all over, my legs shaking again, in pleasure

I can't, he's so good with his tongue

Fucking hell

His tongue slips down, poking into my hole and making me gasp

He pushes his tongue further in, and I can't help but clench around him

"Yeosang", I moan, feeling his tongue slide out

"Mmmm jagi", he groans deeply, his tongue shoving back in

"Fuck fuck"

He moves his tongue fast, fucking into me again and again

And I can't believe this man, this beautiful, sexy idol is doing this to me

That he wants to do this to me

And that he seems like he's enjoying it

A lot

His tongue pulls out, then slides up my pussy, flicking my clit

"Oh fuck", I cry, more pleasure zapping through my system

He laughs so deeply, making me shiver as his tongue flicks my clit again and again

I can feel my orgasm building up with each move of his talented tongue

I can't stop myself from plunging my hand into his black hair, holding on as I moan like a huge slut

I watch as his mouth wraps around my clit and he sucks like he can't get enough

Pleasure blasts in my body, making me shake hard

My hips start moving on their own, fucking into his mouth, my juice all over his face

And he just keeps on sucking like he doesn't have a care in the world

"Yeosang..I...I'm..", I breath hard, right at the edge

His eyes meet mine as he slurps around my clit and I fucking lose it

I tumble head first into ecstasy, screaming his name over and over as I ride the waves of pleasure

His mouth doesn't stop, sucking me through it, keeping me in constant bliss

It's fucking incredible

As I come down from the orgasm, Yeosang moves his tongue down to my hole, licking rapidly, swallowing and making moaning noises

When he finishes he moves on top of me, gently pushing me down on the bed

"My girl tastes so fucking good", he murmurs, his lips pressing against my neck, shocking the shit out of me

"I...I do?"

"So good my love", he answers, "So sweet"

He peppers kisses all over my neck, his cock pressing against my leg

"Can I fuck you baby?", he asks

It's now or never

I push all the nervousness away and just focus on him

"Yeah Yeo. I want that. I want you"

"Anything for you jagi"

I feel him start to move in slowly, stretching me open inch by inch

And it feels fucking good

I was expecting pain, knowing that it normally happens the first time

But I don't feel any of that

It just feels good

"Oh fuck", I moan, immediately tightening around his cock as he pushes in more and more

And somehow I get so much more wet

"Oh god", he groans against my skin, "Oh fuck, so tight baby. Fuck. Feels so fucking good. You feel so good jagi"

I swear I haven't heard Yeosang sound like this before

Like he's losing control

I can't answer as I feel him bury in my pussy

He stops moving, whispering, "I'm all in"

And fuck, I can't stop my pussy from throbbing hard around him

His cock is so massive, the feeling of being full so fucking satisfying

"God, fuck, you're pussy is so good. Fuck pulsing so much already. Feel like I'm gonna cum right now"

"Is...is that good?", I whisper

"Mmm hmm. Means you feel amazing jagi", he answers, "I knew you would"

He lifts his head from my neck, his eyes on mine, smiling softly

"You're perfect baby"

I blush, never thinking that any guy in this world would think I'm perfect

Especially Yeosang

But he does and it feels good

"You're perfect Yeosang. I love you"

"I love you Jo. So much"

He presses a soft kiss to my lips and I fall into him

"I'm gonna move, ok jagi?", he asks between kisses

I nod, wrapping my arms around his body, gently laying my hands on his back

His arm moves around my waist, holding me against him, his tongue playing with mine as he slowly moves his hips back

I moan in his mouth at how good his cock drags through my pussy, sending shivers all over me

He slowly buries back inside, forcing me open, my pussy gripping his length tightly

He goes all the way in, his head rubbing against that spot his fingers found before, pleasure filling me

He moves slowly, in and out, his hands gripping my body hard, his lips moving from mine to my neck

"Baby fuck. So good jagi", he whines, "So fucking wet for me"

I am

I don't ever think I've been this wet before

Every time he moves inside, I feel my pussy soak him

He breathes rapidly, his body tense and barely in control

"Can I go faster? Please baby. Wanna go faster", he begs, "Let me fuck you so good jagi. I promise I'll make you feel good. Make you want my cock all the time"

Holy shit

I never thought Yeosang would ever speak like this but fuck it's such a turn on

"Please baby. It'll feel so good jagi. I'll make it so good"

"Yes baby", I answer, wanting him to feel good as well

This isn't just about me

It's about us

He immediately moves, sitting up, both hands gripping my hips hard

He thrusts faster, slamming into me, sending me into so much bliss

Stroke after stroke he goes in harder, so deep in my pussy

I moan loudly, twisting the sheets in my hands, the pleasure intense

"So pretty baby", he whispers, "Fucking hell, your pussy looks so good on my dick"

My eyes move to him and I'm blown away at how hot my boyfriend is

His upper arm muscles are flexing, veins in his lower arms popping, his abs so tight as he thrusts, drops of sweat all over him

His hair is soaked, pleasure on his face as he bites his lip, his eyes watching his cock fuck me

He's so fucking stunning, it's stupid

"Pretty pussy", he murmurs, "Pretty hole stretching so wide. Creaming my cock so good, it's everywhere. Such a pretty mess"

"Is...is that g..good?", I get out

He nods, his eyes not moving, "I love it. Wanna see your pussy cum"

"Fuck Yeo"

His eyes finally move, slowly raising up my body until he looks at my face

He hovers over me, one hand moving next to my head on the bed, the other hiking my legs up his body more

"I want to see you cum baby", he says, "Wanna see how you lose it on my cock"

"Yeo, fuck", I whimper, his words turning me on more

"Want to feel you clench on me, drown my cock in your cream, feel your body shake, hear you scream my name"

I can't answer, just groan as the pleasure mounts, his perfect cock hitting my spot while his pelvis rubs against my clit with each stroke

He leans down, his mouth next to my ear, "Do you hear how wet you are for me?"

What?

"Do you hear how loud your pussy is when you take my cock inside you?", he asks, "Listen baby"

Silence falls for a second before I hear it

The wet squelching of his cock pounding my pussy along with his skin hitting mine

Oh my god, it's so fucking erotic

"Sounds so pretty", he murmurs, "Could listen to it on repeat"

"Yeosang", I cry, my back arching as I'm shoved closer and closer to my orgasm

"Yes baby", he urges, "Let me watch you. Fall apart for me"

"Baby", I gasp, my brain turning off from the incredible bliss, my pussy throbbing crazily around his shaft

"Yeah baby. Good girl. Scream my name, baby girl. Fall apart on my cock jagi"

His cock slams inside and I lose it

"Yeosang! Fuck! Yeosang!", I scream, ecstasy slamming into my body, taking over and stars explode in my vision

"Good girl. Fuck, it feels so fucking good", he praises, his cock fucking into me as I cum, keeping me in pleasure, nothing in my head except him

"Yeosang", I whimper, tears falling from the corners of my eyes from how good it feels

"Baby", he groans, "I'm gonna cum"

I just moan, tightening my legs around him

Fuck, I don't want him to leave my cunt

I want him to stay

"Ccc..... can I cum in your pussy? Please", he pleads

"Yes Yeo. Please baby. Wanna be full of your cum"

God, do I crave his cum inside me

Always wanted that with him

"Let me see you cum Yeo"

"Fuck!", he shouts, burying his cock inside me as he orgasms, "Joanne! Fuck!"

My mouth drops as I watch him, so fucking beautiful

His cock throbs hard inside me, warm sticky cum gushing into my cunt

I can't help my pussy spasming around him, like I'm sucking on his dick

"Yes baby, oh my fucking god", he cries, "Milking my cock so fucking good baby. Take it all jagi"

I do, enjoying the feeling of being filled

He breathes hard as his forehead leans against mine, his lips finding mine in a soft kiss

After, he pulls out, laying next to me, getting the blanket over us

"Come here jagi", he murmurs, pulling me to him

I go absolutely willingly, laying on the pillow with him, our bodies turned to each other, his arm tightly around me

His fingers softly run in my hair, his eyes on me, a soft smile on his face

"I love you", he says

I can't hold the smile back, so unbelievably happy

"I love you", I tell him

He leans forward, giving me a sweet gentle kiss that completely melts me

He's my everything

"Tired jagi?", he asks, after our kiss

I nod, "You?"

"Yeah baby"

Ok then

Sleepy time

I quickly run out the bed, shutting the light then jumping back in, immediately in his arms

Cuddling into him, he chuckles, his arms around me, body pressed against mine

"Fuck jagi", he says softly, "You have no idea how long I wanted to have you in my arms. Every time we watched a movie, a TV show, every time we were sitting next to each other, I just wanted to pull you in my arms and hold you. Never let you go"

"You don't Yeo. You never have to let me go ever again", I assure him, "I wanted to be in your arms for so long too Yeo. Just climb in your lap, both of us holding each other and staying there"

"You can from now on baby", he agrees, "I'll always hold you baby. Always"

I smile, "I love you so much Yeosang"

"I love you so much Jo. Always baby"

"Forever", I whisper

We meet in a gentle kiss, so much love between us

I normally hate Valentine's day but I'm so happy he made this one memorable

[lovemyromance]

Antis: Elriel can't be endgame because SJM always gaslights us and tries to make us think a couple is endgame when they're not!!

Okay... so ... is any couple safe then? Is Feysand safe? Is Nessian safe? Who's to say Rowaelin will not break up some day? Who's to say Bryce won't leave Hunt for some random character that hasn't been introduced yet in CC4?

SJM is not writing these couples for the sole purpose of trying to gaslight her readers. Not to mention - ACOTAR IS NOT TOG OR CC.

SJM has said multiple times, the spinoffs will feature dual POV and ONE couple.

Please tell me how we go from Elain ignoring Lucien, to getting with Azriel, to leaving Azriel, and falling in love and accepting the mating bond with Lucien all in one book.

Please explain how we go from Azriel pining after Elain, getting angry over Rhys forbidding him away from her, to ignoring Elain and falling for Gwyn, discovering Gwyn is his mate (lol), and accepting the mating bond with her?

Just... use your brains for once, my friends. The excuses for why Elriel can't be endgame are laughable at best, and downright misogynistic at worst. Like are you really telling me:

Elriel can't be together because his shadows don't like her and they disappear - even though his shadows disappear around the entire IC whenever he's happy or comfortable? Even though they tell him when she's safe and sound in bed and help him put the necklace on her

Elriel can't be together because Elain will always feel a tug to Lucien - yeah we know the mating bond feels like a tug, Elain has done a pretty good job of ignoring it thus far though, and it hasn't even been broken yet. It hasn't stopped her from trying to kiss Azriel in the hallway?

Elriel can't be together because SJM never pairs them with their first love interest - great! Because neither Elain or Azriel are each others first loves.

Elriel can't be together because Lucien deserves a happy ending - great! Good thing he has Vassa

Elriel can't be together because Gwyn will be sad - Gwyn could be the priestess at their wedding and she would not shed a single tear because she doesn't want Azriel and nothing she has done shows she is romantically interested in him whatsoever

Elriel can't be together because she's miserable in the NC - No she is not. And if she wants to leave, nobody is stopping her. And if I say Azriel will follow her to the ends of the earth, then?? Next.

Elriel can't be together bc she doesn't have an Illyrian pelvis - Adoption exists, ask SJM (adopted herself). Also, your misogyny is showing.

Elriel can't be together because Elain is scared of Azriel's darkness - I'm sorry, has she whispered those words only in your ears? Because nothing in canon suggests that she can't handle his darkness. She stabbed the king of Hybern - she's fine

Elriel can't be together because she is secretly pining after Lucien - brother where?? Also, she has a very interesting way of showing secret pining by getting Nawsty in the corridor with the spymaster instead of her mate

Elriel can't be together bc SJM is a fated mates author - Okay, and if I say the Elucien mating bond is fake and Azriel & Elain are true mates? Then what? Because SJM faked a mating bond with Rowan before - don't see why she couldn't do that again with Lucien & Elain to keep him away from breaking Vassa's curse. If she can do the switching up love interest plot twist this many times, she can definitely do the fake mating bond switch up too. Give me a single reason why not?

Elriel is not suited for each other but Lucien and Elain's personalities are perfect - brother where?? Again?? Because they don't even talk so how do you know they'd even get along?

Elriel can't get together because with Elucien and Gwynriel we'd get 2 stories - this is by far the stupidest excuse but I'd like to counter by saying Elriel + Vassien. There you go. Trade you one redhead for another. Now what?

Elriel can't get together because Elain needs sunlight - she said that once. When she was confused about her visions. She sat in the window once. When she was still confused about her visions.

Elriel can't get together because -

Y'all better just come right out and admit you don't like Elriel because you like Lucien better than Azriel or you like Gwyn better than Elain - because otherwise it is getting downright embarrassing reading your theories.

It's one thing to just not like a couple - that's your right and full send, nobody's stopping you.

It's another to fully claim Elriels are delusional for thinking a couple that is currently obsessed with each other is not going to be endgame. It's another thing to use out of context canon text to support your PREFERENCE. It's another thing to claim we use Elain as a self-insert because we "want Azriel smut".

Like tf? If we wanted Azriel smut we wouldn't care who he ended up with. If it were up to my personal preferences - I'd actually want Elain with Eris because I think that would be way more interesting than both Azriel AND Lucien. If I thought Elain was a self-insert for myself, I'd keep her with Lucien because Lucien book 1 is still my favorite.

So don't come around here and tell me Elriels are delusional for reading what is printed on the page.

It's not surface level reading if we look at a "Pool is 2FT deep" sign and believe it. We have NO reason to believe otherwise.

If you choose to doubt the words written on the sign -and dive in headfirst - that's your prerogative but something tells me you won't enjoy the results 🤷🏻‍♀️

[acourtofthought]

It's interesting how some claim Elain loses all her boldness around Lucien then ignore how she was shaking while handing Az his gift and *whispered* "I'm sorry" after he rejected her.

So very bold of her, right?

This from a female who told off her sister in SF. Shouldn't she be able to give Az a piece of her mind if they've grown oh so close?

And for those who claim she's not attracted to Lucien....

When Aelin was still struggling to move past Chaol, did we know she found Rowan attractive? Not even just objectively good looking (which I don't even remember her saying anything along those lines) but proof she was attracted to him?

She met her mate yet was still thinking about another man.

Before Nesta's pov in the ACOMAF bonus, did we know she was attracted to Cassian?

Regardless of what people assume they know of Elain's thoughts on Lucien, we have yet to have her POV and therefore cannot speak on how attractive she finds him. Someone can make all the guesses they want but until her book, it is unproven.

Hell I could make the case that Elain didn't actually find Az all that attractive at first considering she met him in the human lands yet still wanted to marry Graysen. Considering Az was right there in front of her while sitting in the gardens yet she still tried to go back to Graysen. Where Az "saved her from Hybern" yet she still stared after Graysen as he left the meeting after the war. Maybe she was willing to kiss him on Solstice because she believes him to have a nice personality (at least what he shows to her) and she started finding him somewhat attractive because of that (it's a thing).

"But Az is the prettiest of the brothers!"

And multiple characters call Lucien handsome.

Objectively I'm pretty sure it's impossible for her to not note that her mate is fine as hell.

There is no evidence that Elain had any sort of immediate attraction to Az yet she was still open to kissing him so there's no valid reason for why we can't find out that Elain has always considered Lucien attractive but her engagement to another man was something she needed to remind herself of so as not to be disloyal. Because the bond overwhelms her and she's afraid to let herself face the truth of things.

Also, if the argument is that all the endgame couples fought prior to ending up together (something they claim Elucien is lacking even though Elain literally calls Lucien out in the Lucien pov) than wouldn't that confirm that Vassa and Jurian are in fact endgame?

I guess that debunks the Vassien ship.

[atlasdoe]

Who is Maryrose? I’ve never heard of her before

I am so so so glad you asked!!!!!

Maryrose Jenkins is an oc from The Marauders Series by Pengiwen (the first four books can be found on ao3 and all of the books can be found on wattpad) It's a reallyyyyy long cannon compliant fic with multiple povs and a book for each year, spanning from The Marauders first year to the end of the first war (and also flash fowards to what the Marauders characters were up to during 1993-1998)

Maryrose is Pandora's younger sister and is in the same year as the Marauders. She's a Hufflepuff and a Metamorphous and usually has teal hair. She's also trans!!!

In the fic Maryrose dates James for a bit during their fourth year and in their fifth year she meets Regulus and they immediately become smitten for each other and are one of the cutest ships to ever exist!!!!

To further explain why i'm so obsessed with them, here are just a few of my favourite quotes

They turned toward the Three Broomsticks, and Regulus looked over at her, then, using the very last of his bravery, he reached out and took hold on her hand. "Don't wanna get separated, he announced, lacing their fingers together.Maryrose squeezed his hand.

She leaned forward and kissed his chin, right in the cleft below his lips and her nose caught his lip and he kissed it softly. Regulus felt as though he were intoxicated or having an out of body experience. It was the first time her lips had touched his skin and it set off a wave of emotions and feelings that he hadn't been expecting, just coursing about through his veins like magical fire

Regulus was fairly certain that he was falling for her, with great chunks of his heart at a time

Regulus sighed. Maryrose was the only person in the whole castle he knew would never hurt him on purpose. And the only one that he felt any sort of connection to. He could not imagine what life at Hogwarts castle would be if Maryrose was not around him. Dismal and quite horrid, he imagined. Being angry with her hardly even seemed an option.

Regulus said, "I could be trying to draw you in, trying to trick you into liking me so I can drag you back to Voldemort's lair and let him kill you for the fun of it, for being a mudblood supporter." He purposely used the harshest term he could. Maryrose shook her head. "You aren't." "What if I was?" "Then I'd follow you blind."

"Can you do that too?" Maryrose asked Regulus, watching from a table as Sirius led Lily Evans about the dance floor. Regulus looked over. "I can do it better than him."Maryrose raised an eyebrow. "Better than that? They look like something out of a storybook." Regulus, who was wearing fine green dress robes, stood up. "Come on then. Come look like a storybook with me."

He stared into Maryrose's eyes as she pulled back... and she stared back into his.He could see her in the middle of them, in the reflection in her pupil was her soul... even as the irises changed colour with her nervousness now... he could still see her there. He would always see her there.

They're just so darling and Maryrose is one of my favourite characters probably of all time. I wish she was more popular then she was. You can find a few edits of her and of her and Regulus on instagram and tiktok. Her fancast is Florence Pugh <3

[poibynt]

Thuggory, thinking

This is a short 1.5K Thuggory POV I wrote set between books 9 and 10, hopefully to be part of a larger fic focusing on this time period. So I'm chucking it here since it works as a standalone and not on Ao3. (this is barely spellchecked if you saw something wonky no you didn't)

CW: all the usual late series stuff, though is maybe focused on the Daily Horrors of it all a bit more than the series does.

Thuggory, son of Mogadon and only heir to the Meathead tribe, collapsed onto a chair in his room. He would not have allowed himself to so visibly display his own exhaustion if he weren’t alone, and if the world was not so newly and deeply trying. He’d been out on his feet the whole day, as he had done the entire week, and then the week before and the week before that the past three months. His role as son of the chief had taken a sharp and dramatic change in direction, and he had to admit to himself that it was taxing like it had never been before. 

Thuggory had always been easy going, with nothing much to think about or worry over. Why would he need to? He had floated through life, easily filling every role and expectation. He was strong, charismatic, attentive, respectful of his father and elders, but also able to admit his own failings and others strengths. He knew he was going to be a fine chief one day and he enjoyed dutifully caring for his tribe and helping his father in the meantime. Life had been simple and uncomplicated, full of laughing companions and scored goals and his father’s proud hand on his shoulder. Thuggory had never needed to think about anything. Oh he thought he had, in the Before, he thought he thought about plenty. He’d thought about fishing, and how others fought when he watched them, and what to eat for dinner. He had never had to think. The Thuggory of the After, though, thought. 

He scrubbed at his forearm absentmindedly, feeling the bandages under his fingers. Thuggory of Before had spent most of his time doing things he had thought to be important, but now felt hollow. He now spent most of his days fighting dragons, shoring up defenses, going over strategy with his father, and helping count and identify the dead. Many of the old smiling faces he grew up with or around he’d now seen glassy eyed and horrifically burned or slashed. Gone was almost everything Thuggory thought was a constant in life, the world turned distorted and twisted. 

He started removing his various weapons, piling them on the tiny desk in his room. They’d lost a quarter of the main island by now, but the largest village stood strong. The chieftain's hut was untouched, his childhood bedroom the same it always was. Except that he was older, more soot streaked and worn, and the weapons he carefully checked and tended to had tasted blood. It was…a disconcerting reminder of the simplicity of his old life. The newfound falseness of it. 

Because a world that had seemed so very very simple and uncomplicated had been engulfed by fire and chaos and uncertainty. He put on a good face about it all and rose to the task yet again, as he always had. He succeeded, as he always had. But Thuggory, during his few hours of rest he allowed himself, thought. 

He thought about the people he missed, the dragons he missed. Which got sticky very quickly. Because Thuggory missed dragons. They all missed dragons, he knew. They all felt the loss and horror at the state of the world and the necessity to do what must be done, but something else weighed him down. Guilt. Thuggory had loved Killer, his hunting dragon. He had thought he’d been fair and just in his treatment of Killer, had occasionally snuck him good bits of food off of the table when no one else was looking, given him bits of whatever kill they brought down together. And yet, on that fateful day it all went wrong, Killer had turned on him. They’d fought, and it had been a hard battle. For multiple reasons. 

Thuggory tested the sharpness of his battle axe, then grunted and reached for a whetstone. He thought he’d been fair, attentive, and respected. And yet, years together were thrown aside in a heartbeat. Everyone’s dragons had abandoned them in the end. Those who had beat their dragons into submission and those who gave them good muscles from the table both ended up betrayed and alone. Every single one of them, except for one boy. 

Thuggory had seen Hiccup, on the back of his riding dragon, suspended in a halo of light that dreadful day. Had seen that riding dragon fleeing across the sky, helping his rider as the entire dragon army followed. As far as Thuggory knew, Hiccup was the only person who’s dragon hadn’t rebelled against him. 

The Thuggory of Before didn’t think all that much, but he was still attentive. The Hooligans were their neighbors, and Hiccup was their heir. They were both going to be chiefs one day. With such an impressive first meeting, Thuggory had kept a proverbial ear to the proverbial ground. The trickles of rumour and tall tales had kept him fascinated. His friends had all dismissed Hiccup as some weird skinny nobody, and while Thuggory admitted he was weirdly scrawny and tentative for a Viking, it seemed like twice a year he pulled off something incredible! Things Thuggory could have only done if the sea boiled and the sky turned purple. Again and again Hiccup cheated death, discovered something impossible, fought and survived the scariest creatures and monsters the Barbaric Archipelago had to offer. Any gossip drummed up from these heroic stunts seemed to pass quickly, but Thuggory remembered. 

He’d been swayed a bit from his stance that Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the III was deeply and immeasurably cool when it was revealed that Hiccup had freed the dragon Furious, leader of the rebellion and the possible doom and destruction of the human race condensed into a single flying furnace. But Hiccups winning of the sword fighting competition, the speech he gave on his intention to end slavery and free the dragons, the subsequent revelation that Hiccup had the slave mark, the break out of one of the bloodiest battles in recent Viking history and the fact that Hiccup single handedly saved every Viking’s life that day had only complicated things further. 

Thuggory thought, as he cleaned the blood and guts from his weapons, honed their violent and deadly edges, preparing them for the next day of war. He asked something he rarely had ever asked in the Before times. Why? Why were they fighting this war? Why were dragons and humans dying in incredible numbers? Thuggory had been told all his life that dragons were immoral, cowardly creatures that needed firm hands. They were needed, so the Vikings used them. The Meatheads did not believe in cruelty, did not use chains or whips or cages. It was simply the way of things. Dragons could be immoral and cowardly, just like humans. But Killer was also steadfast, and loyal, and liked to perch on Thuggory’s shoulder and rest his head on the top of Thuggory’s helmet. Almost everyone had cared for their domestic dragons, had tended to them. Then why did they all rebel? 

Surely Killer knew Thuggory wasn’t planning on following the King's orders. Surely Killer knew that though Thuggory was aggressive and violent and a true Viking, that he wasn’t unfair or unhonourable. Surely Killer knew that Thuggory had felt something stirring in his heart hearing Hiccup’s speech, like something settling in correctly. Something that twinged every time Thuggory, a freshly minted warrior of the Wilderwest, raised his sword or his axe or his north bow or the new terrible weapons of war to fell a dragon. 

He wished, suddenly, that he could talk to Hiccup. Thuggory had dejectedly thought him dead for a month until reports and rumors started breaking of a rogue vigilante destroying dragon traps. Even the stupider Meatheads had a couple good guesses on the traitor's identity. Wishing for something like this felt wrong, for indeed it was against what Mogodon stood for these days. His father had fallen neatly behind the new king, and Thuggory wished things were simple enough that he could go along with his father just as neatly. But they weren’t. Instead, horrible thoughts tangled in his head, leading to no clear answer. The witch and the king, in whatever sparse correspondence reached the Meathead isles these days without carrier dragons, always spoke of the perfect world of the Before. But Thuggory, treasonously and dangerously, couldn’t help but wonder how was it perfect if it led to this? 

He pinched the bridge of his nose, setting aside the last dagger. He would try to clear his mind, and then join his father to discuss their options tomorrow. The dragons were concentrating on the Isle of Berk—Thuggory almost hoped a dragon would eat Chief Snotlout already—for some reason which meant the Meathead Islands were facing down the dragon fire as well. Their villages and fortifications were built to withstand human attack, not sustained dragon rebellion and they were struggling. It was time to start discussing options in the morning. But that was the morning, he had a couple more hours before he banished all his doubts away and became the good loyal son he had always been, and now wasn’t so sure he was anymore. He heaved himself off of his chair, fingers skimming over a burnt corner of the wood, one of the only mementos Killer had left him, paired with the scar across his ribs.

[the-ghost-king]

I spent about two hours on this over the past couple of days in total, and I'm sure I've missed a few things and I guarantee that some of my opinions will not be shared by others and that's okay. I'm comfortable with people adding on their own thoughts and feelings and continuing on a conversation if they wish to.

Before I truly begin: this book isn't bad, that doesn't mean it's good it just means it's not bad. I think this book is both wonderful and awful, this book is both exactly what I expected and unlike anything I could have come up with. I will also clarify before you read this that I have never personally enjoyed any of Oshiro's work I've read, if you're someone who enjoys Oshiro's body of work there may be many places you disagree with me and I would like to note that ahead of time. I would also like to note that these are simply my initial thoughts, I finished TSATS two days ago and I have done some thinking and pondering over it since and these are the conclusions I have reached in that time. I cannot say how much of this I will agree with in a week, or a month, let alone three, or a year. I considered writing an essay and then decided a bullet point list would be sufficient, there is no order to these bullet points and some conversation points move in a circular way, I did not proofread this either. Also be aware there will be spoilers. Without further ado, my thoughts:

- Hades is weirdly ooc plus having him be responsible for this and him knowingly harming Nico and Nico just being like "oh ok i understand" undoes so much of the relationship progression from Pjo to BoO to ToA to here!!! Hades is still a god yes but he was becoming something of a father figure to Nico as well again and he just throws that all away because Nyx and Bob were "being annoying" and Nico is just… fine with that??? And they just jokingly brush the whole Hades loved more Bianca thing under the rug WITH MARIA RIGHT THERE

- Why are we reintroduced to Persephone like she's a new character? Sure it's from Will's pov and they've never met but the readers have met Persephone multiple times before!! It was weird to reintroduce her!!

- Worst editor ever, a few typos and apparently some copies have Nico saying his mother is Bianca? He also calls his mom Maria instead of mom or mamma? And we've only ever heard nico call maria mamma before this point so him calling her mom is less weird than him calling her Maria but still off

- Will… still doesn't have a personality entirely and what personality he was given does not match the personality he has in ToA OR in BoO??

- Once again, I don't like Oshiro's pacing and you can tell how hands off Rick was with the whole thing - I've never personally been a fan of Oshiro's work and one of my top reasons has always been their terrible pacing. I will read a phenomenal paragraph and then spend the rest of the chapter struggling to find anything that feels worth my time, and while i felt within chapter there was a fair bit of consistency between different chapters there was not- i would read one chapter that read well and felt amazing and then the next 3 chapters would feel like useless side plot that served no purpose. Oshiro also really struggles to maintain tempo in their work imo.

- Characters defining their sexuality in explicit terminology or labeling isn't inherently wrong but its also not in line with what we've seen so far and while this could be a sign of progress it could also be a step back so instead it's best to consider how this effects or determines characterization

- Nico's coming out party…. God… why?

- There's also this weird thing with so much of the sexuality/gender stuff that it feels more like a lecture than an authentic experience, for me personally based on the flow of these conversations and the events and things i feel like it was done to make this more palatable for a cishet audience rather than to maintain and authentic experience??

- Anyhow the thing where Nico kind of makes Will come out in front of camp is giving me love simon flashbacks and i just have to say making someone come out to a large group or in public just to be with you is so so gross… there was no reason for this to be a plot point whatsoever imo, it feels really ooc and it does that really upsetting thing lots of ya books do where it tries to depict that in order to be authentically and "properly" queer one must be public in their grsm orientation which i think is a pretty harmful/hurtful idea overall but especially in media designed for preteens and teens who are more likely to be living in environments where coming out is unsafe

- None of the jokes land

- Literally they have the worst nicknames for everything. I liked the cringe otherwise, it did have young teen relationship vibes… but that was unforgivable to me personally but i guess other people liked this? To each their own!

- On that note! I've talked a lot about Solangelo being two sides of the same coin in terms of how their relationship works and while symbolism would have been nice straight up seeing Nico given a coin by will was also cringe and too far? Nico gave Will his ring, this thing that we've built up over the series to view as a representation of his grief and loss and his family and love and home and a culmination of Nico and Will gets nico… this coin he just seemingly had made that has almost no symbolic meaning beyond that? Nico's ring is basically a character unto itself, not only does giving a physical object and having Nico outright state the symbolism of it ruin the "show don't tell" logic of authoring it also feels hollow as the reader has no connection to this object like Nico's ring. There was no reason for this other than to make an equivalent exchange which is kind of a sucky way to weigh a relationship… it could have been better for Will to give nico something from his past as well and to have the piece come up in a memory or something OR for will and nico to have exchanged these gifts at some point on or just before their journey so the reader got to experience this connection as well

- Will's pov was kind of trash actually

- Why doesn't Will ever talk about finding Nico attractive?

- We never have it explained what exactly makes Nico a "star" ..? Like its constantly alluded to or even stated he is a star but we never actually get to see why

- Will never really "goes dark" the sniffles are not dark, dark would be like straight up plaguing them or having some sort of ability to radiate heat and blast things or craft his own weapons out of light or just something beyond singing and having the heart blast effect thingy…

- Their relationship is stated they've been together a year and trauma can definitely change things but for whatever reason their relationship feels more new and raw and tender than it did in ToA??? Why??? They do not feel like two fifteen/sixteen year olds who have been in a relationship for a year, they feel like two thirteen year olds who've been in a relationship for three months?

- I also personally feel conflicted about them not having a major kiss scene? Like on one hand it's nice to see queer couples treated like any other couple and kisses to be fairly casual mundane interactions! But on the other hand being a queer couple especially an mlm couple in a children's/ya series and being able to show physical affection is really quite uncommon tbh and I would have liked to see maybe a little emphasis at least on the first kiss that the audience gets to experience on paper just to sort of acknowledge that groundbreaking act? But maybe that's just me?

- Additionally speaking all of their prior banter is just.. gone..? They literally don't joke around except for 2 or 3 lines in the book despite previously being a very banter heavy couple? There is no reason they can't be both soft and comedic or have banter yet be tender to one another? It's like all the joy that was previously in their relationship was traded for arguing and bickering and this weird pettiness that feels ooc in general but especially from them?

- What was the plot point of going to Sally's house to send the iris message? Why was Sally brought into this? She's cool and we love her but there was no plot reason to add her? Even the percabeth iris message only minimally added to the plot

- Why is Will so bothered by death? Like I'm cool with him feeling weak in the underworld. I can respect that from a tension building pov and also being in the dark does go against his nature but like death is not something against his nature? He is well acquainted with death? People die in medical settings all the time i guarantee he has lost many patients and brushed shoulders with thanatos more than most people at camp + he lost A TON of siblings in the war he would have to be familiar with grief AT THE VERY LEAST but yet he seems to lamblike to all these things the whole novel I feel it weakens his character, the story, the plot, previous books, and his relationship with Nico- if they wanted him to have some reserved hesitations about death they could have done it much more tactfully but they didn't?

- I also hate every time some sort of discussion about him being a healer comes up because yes he is a magical exception that makes him a "natural born healer" but they take that too far imo, yes he is a magical exception but the way this stuff is worded gives this like "Will is such a good healer he never fails or breaks down or fatigues from it" and i just feel like it becomes an unrealistic and unhealthy example after a certain point and I would have loved to see that exploration that so many fanfic authors have done wonderfully about how Will is overworked and needs to learn to take care of himself before his patients just to add that depth to his character but Oshiro and Riordan just skip past this and again it feels like a massively missed plot point to give Will a deeper character

- It's also weird everytime Nico is like "Will always takes care of me now I have to take care of him" because again it just feels like such an unhealthy way to view a relationship… like if a partner gets sick 3x a year and the other partner is sick 5x a year partner A shouldn't be like "well now you owe me two sickness helpings" or something you know? Thats so petty and immature and unhealthy for a relationship and it's something that can be unlearned but also like if they've been together a year and they're supposed to be like a perfect fit according to what i think the symbolism was trying to get at (so much of this book feels like a rough draft not a final cut istg) then why is this even included anyhow?

- Also Nico is ooc at points, he seeks to heal others a lot of the time as well- Hades even mentions this, how even when Nico is offered something for himself he uses the gift to help someone else- this is a quality Nico and Percy (and Jason) all really consistently display throughout pjoverse EXCEPT Nico doesn't do this early on in the text?? He is unfazed by the nature of some things in the underworld (Will is right the fields of asphodel are perhaps more horrific in some way than the variations of hell provided in the underworld) and Nico is just like "yeah that's just how it is here" which kind of goes against that character trait + (though i may be confusing fanfic and canon here) didn't Nico and Hazel have a whole convo about how upsetting or painful asphodel is?? It goes on kind of even more so in this regard though where his regard for humanity seems significantly less so than in previous texts, there's something else as well i can't exactly put my finger on yet that also feels ooc … I'll keep thinking lol

- Once again to the "why is Nico a star thing" we have Nico constantly talking about how live exists even in the underworld and it's obviously intended to be a metaphor for hope and finding light in the dark and therefore a whole solangelo metaphor too but Nico brings it up and Will doesnt understand and then they argue (?) And then the metaphor falls flat because we never get to see this explored; we just have it Stated out loud a few times? Like there are many good explanations as to why this keeps getting brought up especially because we can also tie in how Will and Nico are alive down there or how Nico is seperate from the rest of the underworld because despite being part god he is also part mortal

- Once again Tartarus isn't actually scary and there's only so much "it's for kids" I'm willing to accept there, give it more Coraline please!!

- Again an issue with the Nyx thing, Nico doesn't agree with Nyx about who he is because Nyx cannot understand life and Nico can because he is mortal- Nico's mortality is a hugely defining aspect of his character because it sets him apart from the gods and the dead that make up so much of his life- in order to truly appreciate death and the afterlife you have to actually live and know life and change and things and the gods in their consistency are more like ghosts than anything

- It's also very irritating that this was never explored !!! So much of what makes demigods special in the rest of the series is their godhood and their connection to godhood, they are powerful because they are beyond human. However in Nico's fight with Nyx and some other aspects of Nico's behavior but most notably Nyx vs Nico is the culmination of this situation is that Nico's greatest strength throughout tsats is that he is mortal. He is powerful because he is human. He does all the things he does the way he does them because he is human. He is something beyond the gods' understanding because he is mortal- and that's all just swept under the rug for…? Honestly i have no idea why it makes no sense how that is a constant theme in this book yet it feels like the book falls constantly short of actually grasping that concept.

- And if you're wondering what the plot symbolism of Will being involved in all this is? I dont fucking know he doesnt have one he was kind of just dead weight the entire story!!! He was basically there just to help Nico pick some fruit and have dialogue with. I feel like Will was potentially supposed to represent how the "average person" would feel on this adventure but personally I feel if that is the case that I may be one of the worst people to understand that perspective as I have a peculiar and poetic love for death and dying.

- Plus when they're wandering through Tartarus's digestive tract (if you're reading this and you haven't read the novel yet or you didn't yet finish it, yes this is a thing that actually happens) and Will starts struggling with his memory, I would have loved to see the effects of that situation on Nico explored more as I would assume amnesia and people forgetting about him/leaving him would be a very difficult thing for him to deal with yet instead we're just told they passed stories back and forth and that made everything all right + not sharing much of those stories with the audience was again a missed character building moment for Will and a missed relationship building moment between them!!

- Them cuddling in the hut together and Nico wanting to wake Will up to share his nightmare was kind of cute though I will admit to that much

- I also hate how they put all this time and work into saving Bob and then Bob just fucks off into the sunset like everything is normal?? He just fucking dips like nothing even happened??

- Also people have been saying Will kissing Nico when he found out Jason was dead was wrong, and look idk if I'm personally going to go that far but I do think as a first kiss it's definitely weird than cute?

- I think Will's background and childhood could have been expanded on a lot more to make him an interesting character- we learn some about his life with Naomi before camp (and its nice to see her as a complete person and I think she has cool mom vibes for real) but I feel like the only adventure we get to hear about is him and his mom being in New York for concerts… what about other places around the country? what about the life he had with her when she wasn't touring?

- Along this same vein I feel like Will's behavior in the story not only doesn't match his behavior from the previous appearances he's made, but that for someone who seems to have spent a lot of time on the road getting to experience lots of different places (even if it was just the US, that's still pretty significant) I once again truly cannot understand his weird behavior about dead people and the underworld- its not only inconsistent with previous behaviors and beliefs he's exhibited but if he's been show so much diversity from a very young age he's probably naturally curious and inquisitive as well as naturally adventurous and outgoing- yet instead he basically just sticks his nose up at everything underworld-ish?? It not only weakens the plot, his character, and his relationship it also makes no sense with previous set ups AND it has no true culmination by the end of the story because we never truly see him accept or enjoy the underworld and what it has to offer he merely endures it.. so again, what was the point of him acting like that?

- Unpopular one: coco puffs are very cute but i find them unnecessary and completely over the top even for pjo and i can see them becoming annoying later on but that's just me personally.

Okay, I'm going to call it quits here. There's probably more I'll think to say later on but I feel this is a good summary of my initial thoughts. Weirdly enough, despite the negativity here, I would still recommend people read this book? I feel conflicted about whether or not the book belongs among my favorites, and it would certainly be the worst book among my favorites and/or recommendations for novels if I do end up feeling it belongs there. I have to say even despite as much as this book fails, I admire what it was attempting and I think like so many works in pjo before it there was a level of unrealized potential here amongst the text that will always be mildly infuriating. I feel very strongly that this book is a whole new era in Riordan's pjo verse, despite some aspects being "cringe" or some things being literary flops and emotional failures in my opinion, i do think this novel may be one of the most "mature" pieces in Riordan's collection- even in his and Oshiro's failure to bring MOST of their narrative full circle or to tie up their loose ends I can see what they're going for and I think having a taste of that potential really did something for me. I have read lots of books that leave me staring at the ceiling for hours in wonder and awe with a feeling i cannot describe as anything other than a "readers hangover" a desire to hold onto that book and to keep it beside me for a long time just to remember reading it, and I would pick it up many times through the following week or two just to rediscover certain parts, i have to say this book has definitely not been that. However I did spend a long time looking at the ceiling pondering it, and I do think I will reread it in the next week or so- but I have less a desire to return to the events of the novel and more a desire to simply upturn more stones in the landscape and find what I am missing. I want to say I hate the book, that it has no redeeming qualities, that everyone should simply leave it behind because of how awful and excruciating I found this novel- that wouldn't be accurate. I think this is the greatest book I have ever had the misfortune to read, I have never cared so deeply for a book I cannot stand. I absolutely adore this awful thing. I feel comfortable saying that for me, personally, percy jackson will never be the same again and that this book has completely changed the field and depth of my experience. I am literally failing to put into words how this book makes me feel. I suppose this book is my most wretched child and I shall cherish it dearly.

[alexkaneinq]

What I'll write: Finding the right fantasy to fit your mood can be difficult, but I'm here to help! From OCs to self-inserts, nothing makes me happier than having the opportunity to make my keyboard blush, and I am looking forward to helping you bring your erotic stories to life.

My work is primarily in 3rd person limited POV, but second-person perspective can be done upon request! I primarily write MLM, but will also write WLW, Multiple Partners, and Het. 

BDSM and kink are welcome from light bondage to hardcore consensual non-consent, and genres like Shifters, Paranormal, Supernatural, and Fantasy, are highly encouraged. Non-human love interests are always a plus! I have experience writing BDSM, Dom/Sub dynamics, CNC/DubCon/NonCon, Feminization/Forced Fem, Somnophilia, Tentacle Sex, and so much more! Please feel free to ask for other kinks.

I am interested in writing original stories with original characters, fanfiction commissions will be considered, but if I am not familiar/comfortable with the fandom, I likely will not be able to take on the story.

I will not write: Pedophilia, Parent/Child incest, Genital Mutilation, Scat, Omorashi/Watersports, Emetophilia, Beastiality, or Pregnancy (breeding kinks are fine, but I won't write about pregnant MCs or MCs with children!)

Prices: I charge $10 for every 1,000 words for fics with one Main Character and one Love Interest. For every additional MC or Love Interest, it is 50% of the base price. All prices are in USD. All payments will be made through PayPal in full, with no exceptions before writing begins. You must be 18+ to book a commission with me.

Ex: 1,000 word Merfolk story with oviposition 1MC + 1LI= $10

Ex: 1,000 word Demon/Human 'Why Choose?' story with 1MC + 2LI= $15

Delivery: Pieces will be delivered as a PDF. Please allow 3-7 days for completion for works of 5k and lower, and 8-14 days for works of 6k-10k. Beyond that, a custom quote will be given for your piece!

All writing will be original with no AI generation! These pieces are for personal use and do not include commercial rights. I retain the right to repurpose my work online or in print.

If you're interested in getting a piece done, please feel free to reach out via DM! I look forward to working with you!

[dangerously-human]

I was tagged by @alyss-mainwarning for a song shuffle game (I always enjoy these!). Putting in a separate post instead of reblogging because I'm old-fashioned, and I think it's just easier to navigate.

rules: shuffle your “on repeat” playlist and post the first 10 tracks, then tag 10 people

I think we're probably not surprised at this point that it's pretty much all stuff off Ghostbustin' With the Buds, right?

Fairlies - Grian Chatten: Contribution from @womaninwinter's sickos playlist and it's a great THB sound from LW's self-denial POV, especially "Do you miss the days before hope knocked on your door? But you went and fell in love, and into love you fell, and it made you feel unwell, oh well" (Ah. Ow.)

House a Habit - We Are the Guests: I can't remember whose playlist I got this off of, but wow, VERY Lucy leaving vibes, especially the way the narration goes back and forth between the man and woman singing in the second verse. But seriously, this is just painfully on the nose, with lines like "I don't know if I should stay or should I go, he told me this house would always be our home… Everyone tells me to just stay the same, but it's not like that, no it's not like that, oh, tell me someone's out there listening to me 'cause I wanna know that like I wanna know you, oh, stay with me… Everyone tells me you're fine, don't be in love, let's make this house a habit… Oh please don't imagine a life without me, at least not yet, this house is a habit and it's lovely to live in it… This head is a hospital, someone please tend to it" (!!!)

Waking Up - We the Kingdom: I've talked about this one before multiple times, the victorious declaration of returning from the Other Side ("I am alive in the land of the living") as well as something that captures my own healing after the depression years.

Summerland - half•alive: Captures the temporary elation of the warmer months in a way I think vibes well with how Lucy describes that season for the Portland Row trio, the way it's the cycle of it all that even makes it meaningful, and the hope of it all in the ups and downs! "Whatever ain't golden now will only come back around." I'm particularly attached to this for the unseen summer between TCS and TEG. (Also this has been stuck in my head for at least the last week.)

Hot Tea - half•alive: Freaking cute Locklyle vibes! Especially fitting considering all the waxing eloquent about the comforts of good hot tea in these books. "Hold you in my hands like hot tea, knowing I'm safe 'cause you want me," the adopted feral cat energy, it's perfect.

Tip Toes - half•alive: Okay well, I guess this answers the question of what artist is most represented in my L&Co playlist. 😆 (They're actually in second place for that distinction, it's just that I'm also new to their music and so least likely to skip.) This song is SO Lockwood coded, especially the way his desire to make his family name immortal can blur the lines into pride, even the misplaced sacrificial nature and the way he needs to frequently reassess his priorities as a leader. "I'm on my tiptoes, trying to see past my ego, reaching for something more than this feeling of being important, leaving my hear behind is bleeding, but still my pride is screaming, my future will listen to me, will I always know this divide, living most of this war inside, take the ghost of me with the tide to die and release my heart to come alive" - like!!!

Dancing in the Minefields - Andrew Peterson: Used very recently for fanfic title purposes (That's What the Promise Is For), this one just screams Locklyle, married young and facing life's challenges together and helping each other remember the light in the world when the dark closes in. Literally could quote the entire thing for them and struggled not to when I posted the fic, so to choose something I didn't put there, can we just all shriek about that third verse/bridge, especially "So there's nothing left to fear, so I'll walk with you in the shadowlands till the shadows disappear, 'cause he promised not to leave us and his promises are true, so in the face of all this chaos, baby I can dance with you," together?

still feel - half•alive: At any given time having exclamation point variety thoughts about these lyrics, especially as applied to Lockwood, or Kipps, or tbh just broadly across this series. "To realize the hand of life is reaching out, to rid me of my pride I call allegiance to myself… Oh I am not a slave, can't be contained, so pick me from the dark and pull me from the grave, 'cause I still feel alive, when it's hopeless, I start to notice, oh, and I still feel alive" I AM FEELING THINGS!!

Out of the Dark - Tritonal, EMME: I've had this one on repeat while driving a lot lately, it's a great sound, and also a very fun Locklyle song post-THB. Obviously "I know you're scared of diving deep, afraid of what's just out of reach… Sometimes the weight's too much to carry, when it gets heavy, feels like everything's falling apart, so unsteady, you'll be the light to get out of the dark" is delightful imagery for our beloved burdened ghostbusting duo, but also the dual meaning of "There's an end in sight, just hold on tight, you'll make it to the other side" is chef's kiss, they're going to make it to their hash-it-out conversation on the Other Side in TCS and also make it to the other side of the dark in terms of emotional context and setting. Obsessed.

Twenty Something - Nightly: I've already said a few times this is my best inspiration for writing introspective angst lately, used for a Fringe WIP in addition to being on repeat for the writing of Living With the Ghost of You, especially the Lockwood POV chapter. The lyrics are only right at a slant but the vibe is perfect.

I just did one of these so I'm not going to tag anyone this round, but if you happen across this and want to join in, please do say I tagged you!

[onewingedsparrow]

4, 6, and 7!

For this ask game @nocturnalfandomartist Hi Nocturne! Thank you for the ask! :D This is very long, hopefully you don't mind :) 4. Do you have beta? How important is it to the process? As a general rule: no. I have a naturally sharp eye for grammar, spelling, and cohesion. I prefer going through my writing myself with a fine-toothed comb, because beta reading my own fics helps me notice what I need to improve at a rate faster than someone else could point it out. Reading my writing aloud is something I also enjoy doing that helps me keep dialogue smooth, my syllables flowing, and my pacing watertight. In addition, because so many of my works are interconnected in an intricate spiral galaxy of depth and parallels and foreshadows and flashbacks and LORE, it's impossible for a beta reader to fully grasp all that I am intending to convey in any single story without reading...literally everything everywhere all at once which I am writing. No oneshot of mine is truly a oneshot. :) However, I don't discount the benefits of beta reading! Editor feedback is valuable for pointing out subconscious habits of mine and improvements to my flow that I can make. It also is valuable in reinforcing my writing voice; I have learned very quickly what sentence structures I am not willing to compromise on, lol. I use what I learn from other endeavors to enhance my fandom writing. I also make an effort to continue reading published books, articles, screenplays, etc. in addition to posted fanfiction. While fanfiction is in no way "inferior" to published work, there is much to learn from published work that has passed through gateways of editing that fanfiction slips by. In other words, just because my fics are deliberately not beta read doesn't mean that I aim to let my writing stay stagnant. I am still learning and will always be learning. Only a few of my fics will be jestingly tagged as "No beta we die like X"—typically older ones from my "Throwback Archive" that I don't care about cleaning up. They're the equivalent of rough sketches, so they don't need to be anywhere near my usual standards for posting. For my giant Fire Emblem fic*, however, I'm worldbuilding with someone in particular. Once I complete a few drafts of the entire massive story, I will have him alone beta read that, in order to get his feedback on keeping the giant cast all in-character, keeping the route-crossing satisfactory, etc. *This is not posted yet and will not be for a while. It's my fanfic magnum opus. It will be hundreds of thousands of words and multiple books long. And, since I am a plantser, I can't share portions of it because it is all written and drafted out-of-order. I can't wait to drop the entire story on AO3 someday. That will be a glorious day.

6. Post links to your 3 fav fics: Well, all my proper "favorites" are the giant ones that haven't been posted yet. (The Three Houses one, Under My Wings, and the secret sparkling project.) My posted "favorites" differ day by day, depending on what mood I'm in. "To Bee a Leader" is ever dear to my heart. But, at present, I am partial to "Where Sorrow Rings" (FE Engage, during-canon angst) "Reigniting" (TLoZ Ocarina of Time during-canon drabble) "もう少しだけ"　(Death Note during-canon drabble)

7. How do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences? I am invested in what is called "third-person deep POV." I love getting into the head, heart and soul (or, as Transformers would call all three together, the spark) of characters and wresting out their deepest thoughts, feelings, and very being. Line by line, droplet by droplet, I fish it out out of their darkened depths. So, yes, I feel what the characters feel. If I don't feel what the characters feel as I write, then my readers won't either as they read. That is one of my goals in writing characters within third-person deep POV: to make the readers feel what the characters are. Obviously, I can't 1:1 relate to everything my characters go through. Moreover, I hope I don't, since some of them go through some pretty nasty messes I wouldn't wish on anyone. 😂 But, I will thoroughly analyze my characters' perspectives from their shoes and see if anything across my personal experiences can be either directly or distantly relatable to that, and begin composing from there.

[twicesserafim]

Falling for you.

-Twice, school au-

-y/f/i = your first initial-

Third Person Pov:

Sana was a year older then you in school, although she had friends ranging from all ages, grade 9 (her age), grade 8 (your age) and grade 7, she was also friend with some grade 6's since it all relied on maturity.

You just admired her from a far, she was like your hallway crush, although you knew her name and followed her on social media, she didn't even know who you were, or so you thought.

You had your best friend though, he was gay, yes. but he still helped you with your relationship problems, more like telling you if they would be a good partner or not. Ryan, or what you call him, 'the gay one'.

You weren't the most attractive person in the school but you were pretty up there, there was multiple people that liked you, three guys and two girls but you didn't want any of them, you wanted sana.

It was summer break but it was almost over so you had about a week to plan this out, you talked to ryan about it, he said to do whatever you want, your original plan was to go up to her with flowers but that's too.. bold for now.

So you came up with a plan, a note. youre putting a note in her locker, you wrote it down and took a look at your hand writing before re-writing it a few times just so it'll look better.

'idk if you're into girls at all but, honestly i've had a hallway crush on you since last year and i'm not sure how to feel, plus i'm a year younger so i don't feel like a have a chance but im still gonna shoot my shot here, anyways, enjoy the rest of your day :)

-y/f/i'

You had made a playlist, not exactly for her but filled with songs that you would want to listen to with her. You put in your airpods before letting out a soft yet quite sigh, leaning back in your chair.

"damn, you've got it bad-" "How. the fuck. did you get here?!" you asked as you threw a pillow at ryan's face, "you know a 'hey ryan! how've your been?' would've been perfectly fine! also, your window is open in rain, what a dumb idea."

"i love rain, what do you mean? now leave!" "so you can simp for sana? sure" he chuckled as you pulled him to the front door and pushed him out. You bit your bottom lip before thinking of what to do after that.

You decided to just let things happen in their own, if it works out then it works out, if it doesn't then- fuck. Now, it was the first day back to school. You kept an eye on her, now that you were sure of where her locker was.

You slid in the note at the top of the locker, you let out a shaky breath before continuing to walk to your first class, which thankfully, was with ryan. You told him that you did it and he freaked.

"SLAYYYY" "shut your ass up! who the fuck still says slay??" you grumbled before opening your book, "girl- you're gay, you don't do math" "okay just still, opening it makes it look like i'm doing something- i'm still good at math! i just don't like it!"

"ew, i forgot you like math" "shut your mouth, you whore, i like english more" "whatever, nerd." You rolled your eyes before putting your airpods in, completely ignoring what the teaching it talking about.

You opened a book you bought with you, heartstopper, volume 3. You started reading it but placed volume 4 on your desk to read it after, once you had looked up there were a few math questions on the board so you wrote them down.

Solving the questions before closing your math book and continuing with heartstopper, ryan chuckled making you look over at him, "over there dummy" he mumbled as you looked at where he pointed.

You pulled his hand down as you saw Sana sitting on top of one of her friends desk, of course she was skipping. you wondered how she even got good grades but you ignored it, you just gave ryan a little glare before looking back at your book.

Taking small glances at the girl you had always looked at in the hallways, you saw her holding a light beige note in her hand, it looked like old vintage paper.

You knew immediately, that was the note you slipped into her locker. She looked like she was talking to her friends about it but when they asked to see it, she shook her head and backed away from them.

Hiding it in her hand as she opened it, you saw a smile grow on her face as a light blush covered her cheeks, you were still looking at the book but was mainly looking sana's reaction.

You saw her mumble "cute.." making you look back to your book with a small gulp, "i don't get it" you heard ryan say as he looked at the math on the board, "dumbass" "shut up nerd" "ha, i have more friends then you"

"you're friends with like our whole class (8d) 8a, 8b and half of 8c and like 9a and 9b!" "yeah, exactly, you just got me, that's it" "shut up, at least im not a nerd" "at least i have friends" "Sana! go back to your class!" your teacher said as sana groaned.

"fine." she grumbled, and that's when you noticed, she's been sitting in a chair behind you, not even a desk, it's almost like a beanbag. It's only 2-3 feet away from you, which means she could hear everything you two were saying.

You heard her chuckle before ruffling your hair, "see you later miss popular" you froze for a few seconds before nodding, "yeah.. see you- who tf still says that??" sana ignored you and continued, "oh yeah, are you getting drinks for lunch? if you are, do you think you could get me one?"

"sure" you agreed as she sent you a small smile before leaving, "what the hell has my sad single ass just witness." "shut up, you could get someone if you wanted to" "oh really? who!" "any gay bitch, the fuck?"

"ugh, the homophobia" he muttered before you turned your attention back to the music, after listening to it for a little, the first bell rang, which meant the first period was over.

But you had english, which to you, was lucky. You grabbed a paper from your backpack before cutting a small square and scribbling down another note for sana, quickly looking to see if any of her friends were there. Nope.

So you put it in her locker as you walked to yours which was only a few steps away from hers, you saw her laughing with Momo, Mina and Nayeon before going to her locker. "i need to check my schedule, it changes every year."

Sana complained before you saw her opening her locker, the note immediately fell down as she caught it, putting it in her pocket before any of the others could see.

"ew, english, the class is.. 9d?" she muttered before placing her schedule back and grabbing a pencil, "should i just skip?" you silently prayed she wouldn't because your class was also 9d.

"no, you skipped last period" "but nayeon unnie!-" Sana was cut off by Jeongyeon who was now behind her, "go to class, sana" she groaned but locked her locker and walked into the room.

You also grabbed a pencil, walking in after her, you were assigned to sit in the corner. Well. guess who sat beside you, sana. You peeked at the note that she was reading, definitely yours.

You sat down making her slightly jump, "sorry, didn't mean to scare you" "it's okay" she smiled before you raised an eyebrow, "what's that?" "well.. a love note?" "oh really? from who?" "don't wanna talk about it"

"..okay?" this time, this note had both of your initials at the end (exp: r. jeong), about 30 minutes you saw sana peeking at your work before a smile spread on her face, "what?" you asked before she shook her head.

"meet me at the rooftop after school" "what why?" "you'll see" you were confused but nodded anyways, gym was next. All grade 8's and all grade 9's had gym together.

You grabbed your phone before sending ryan a text, 'ew gym is next' 'ikr, disgusting' you put your phone it your pocket before adding the last sentence to your paper.

"i'm done- you haven't even started" you mumbled over to sana as she shrugged, "whatever, i don't care about english" "really? why?" "don't know, ugh this is so boring.." "wanna skip?"

You swear you saw her eyes light up as she nodded, screw it, there was only 15 minutes left anyways. You walked up to the teacher, handed in your paper and as she looked at it, you sent sana a signal to run.

Sana ran out without getting caught before you asked to go to the washroom, the teacher said yes before you left after her, "since when were you the type to skip?" "i always skip, i just don't skip like you do" "yeah, whatever, nerd"

"i'm not a nerd?" "sure" she chuckled before grabbing your hand and pulling you to the stair case and going under it before she planned on just sitting there, "what are you doing?" you asked as she sat down.

"not getting caught, duh?" "no dummy, ive been caught there before, stand up" you pulled her up before grabbing a key from your pocket, opening the door that was only for staff. "what the? how do you have a key to here, most teachers don't even have it?"

"listen, being a good student makes it easier to steal things like this" "damn, you really aren't a nerd or a good person after all huh?" "shut it." you chuckled before pulling her into the room.

"what the, there's like nothing here." she muttered as you shrugged, "it's like a small square too.. what do they use this for?" "probably nothing, or when they need extra space for supplies?" "huh, makes sense"

Sana paused before continuing, "do you wanna skip gym with me?" "seriously?" "they don't care about one thing of attendance missing" "i know but like, with me? we barely know each other" "so? i like being with you."

"um.. wouldn't your friends worry about where you are?" "nope, they know already, i always skip gym" "but you go see them" "nah, it's fine, i prefer being with you, is there too little space over there? come over here."

She patted the spot beside her as you moved forward before sitting beside her, she placed her head on your shoulder making you pause confused, "goodnight" she muttered as you furrow your eyebrows.

"don't sleep on me" you chuckled as she rolled her eyes, "fine, then i'll do this" she laid her head on your lap before taking your phone out of your pocket. "still on me you know" "shut it." she chuckled before giving you your phone.

"hey, how about we make a deal" "what?" "you wanna skip with me, right?" "mhmm" "then, how about, you go to english for the rest of the month, no skipping more then half of the class and then, i'll skip gym with you for the rest of the month"

"ugh.. why english?" "and you have to do the work" "seriously?" "yup" "..fine whatever" she sighed before looking down at you, "i'll do it" "yay!" Sana shook her head with a light smile before leaning back, slowly drifting off to sleep.

"sana" you mumbled as her eyes fluttered open, a soft yawn left her lips as she sat up, "bell rings in 2 minutes." "i don't wanna be awake.." she whined as you chuckled, "well, it's lunch now"

"are you hungry?" "no" "okay, then goodnight" she muttered before laying back down and sleeping in your lap, "wait, sit here" you muttered as she sat up, sitting in between your legs.

Her head fell onto your shoulder as you hesitated but wrapped your arms around her waist before pulling out your phone, just scrolling on it, listening to music with airpods until lunch was over.

The bell rang as sana groaned, "you kept me warm.. thank you" she muttered as you sent her a small smile, "of course, now, what class do you have?" "i'm not sure, i think it's photography 9" "oh, i have photography 8"

"oh hey, since we're both doing photography, let's just hang out, we're in different classes but we're aloud to leave the school grounds to take photos.. let get some food, we skipped lunch, im hungry"

You rolled your eyes, "what? we can take pictures of the food, it's not like we're skipping, we're aloud to do that" "fine" "let's get chicken and cheese balls? please?" "huh? am i paying?" "yeah" "no way"

"pleaseee" you stared at her for a few seconds before sighing, "i am spoiling the fuck out of you today" "thank you!" "okay, hurry, let's go to our classes to get our attendance before leaving" "okay" sana mumbled as you two went to your classes.

"oh! we meet up at the main entrance" you nodded as you both opened the door and went inside. About 5 minutes later, you grabbed your wallet, phone and keys before going to the main entrance.

"took you long enough" "sorry but i was grabbing my wallet because a specific SOMEONE wants me to pay for their meal" you replied as she chuckled, "let's go, im hungry" "okay, okay"

...

"y/n, give me your number. we won't have to meet on the rooftop" you complied and typed in your number before returning your phone as sana smirked a bit, "we should get going back to school soon" "alright"

...

You opened up your locker as a note fell down making you slightly confused as you opened it and read what the note said.

"i know your initials, darling. i like you too. i have for a while now so.. text me later <3

-M.S, btw our last name is Minatozaki, love.'

Your jaw dropped, you turned to her locker, she wasn't there, until you saw her, just walking out the school doors, she had left. You would go to her but she's with too many friends right now. "holy shit."

...

"you know our deals over right?" you asked sana as she sat down beside you with a soft smile, "i'm not skipping this class anymore" "why not?" "i wanna be with you" "i'm gonna go to gym again though" "me too"

You were a little shocked, you've known sana, not personally but just as someone who went to the same school for about 2 years and she's only gone to one gym class. "what?" "i'll be with you."

You softened, "thank you" "for what?" "caring about your studies again" "who said i did? i care about you, not my studies." "and i care about your studies.. you'll listen to me right?" sana grumbled a bit as you pecked her cheek.

"do your work" "yes ma'am" she mumbled as a blush filled her cheeks.

...

2 months later..

"sana go to class!" "no way!" "what class is it?" "the teacher i hate" "honey, you go to study not to talk to the teacher" "you're not in that class" "sana." you scolded as she groaned. "fine.. you owe me!"

"no i don't!" She pouted but turned into the room making you smile a bit, "she really loves you" You heard Nayeon say as you turned around. "we've been trying to convince her to go to that class for the past 4 months"

Jeongyeon continued as you looked at her sit down and pull her phone out. you sent her a text. 'focus. phone away, now.' You saw her lean her head back complaining but shoved her phone in her pocket.

You had a free period, you were aloud to go in so you were going to in maybe 20 minutes? you just needed a small break outside you left. After 20 minutes, you slipped into her class. You saw her on her phone.

You snatched it out of her hand and put it into your pocket cussing her to glare at you as you just raised an eyebrow back. "babe, give me my phone" "nope" "please? i won't go on it" "liar." Sana pouted but complied as she picked up her pencil again.

She finished writing as she handed it in and went to you, who was sitting on the side of the classroom. "hey baby" sana mumbled as you smiled a bit, "good job, sha." "can i have my phone back now?"

"hm.. i'm playing on it" "what? what about your phone?" "it's charging over there" "oh, well then what do i do?" "stay with me" "wont say no to that" you chuckled a bit as sana wrapped her arms around your waist.

Standing in between your legs. "i love you.." she mumbled as your eyes widened, "you don't have to say it back but-" "i love you too" sana's eyes lit up at your response before lightly kissing your jaw. Before burying her face back into your neck.

...

3 months after the day:

"y/n?" "sha, what's up?" "i need to tell you something and i'm so sorry.." "what? why?" "you.. it was a dare. but i really did fall-" "don't say a word. i don't wanna hear it." "im sorry" "don't be, it's fine." "wait y/n-" "no."

...

2 weeks later break up:

"i'm sorry" "huh?" "i still love you." "sana-" "no. let me finish, please. i love you so much it hurts. it might've been a dare but i really did. fall for you. I fell so hard for you, when i look at my future i don't see you as the person in the background. You're there. With me."

You stared at her for a few seconds as tears streamed down her cheeks, before she bit the inside of one and continuing to speak. "please. it wasn't a dare, not to me. Give me one more chance. I love you, so much more than you know."

"are you being honest or is this another dare?" she shook her head frantically. "no! never a dare. not anymore, no more dares. never again." "good" "wait- does that mean?" "one chance, don't fuck up" Sana pulled you into her arms before kissing the top of your head.

"i love you."

...

"high school sweethearts?" "yup" "that's adorable" "thank you" sana smiled. "when's the wedding" "oh we actually planned on just having a elope and a party" (elope is getting married in private, can even just be the two of you.)

"oh? how come?" "her idea, i liked it. we went with it" "where's the ring?" "we both have one, she's at home right now but i'm wearing mine" "that's sweet. elopes are better then weddings, and less expensive too"

"i agree" sana said as the guy spoke up again, "what about kids?" "we're looking at it" "how long have you been together?" "10-11 years" "wow" "yup. i was 15-16 and she was 14-15" "that's amazing" "thank you, but i really have it go now. i'm sorry, she's texting me"

"nono, it's all good. Go to your wife, sana" she blushed at the word wife before she got into the car and drove home. "hi honey" she mumbled as soon as she got into the house. "sha" "yes?" "where were you" "catching up with a friend, why?"

"nothing, just wondering" "something on your mind?" "nope" "are you jealous?" "no? why would i be" she smirked a bit, "i love you, remember that" "love you too? why're you saying this"

"you're jealous aren't you?" "no? i'm not" "liar" "..maybe a little" She chuckled a bit. she pecked your shoulder, "love you more than anything" "i love you more, sha." "impossible, love you most" you hummed before you melted into her embrace.

"i'm glad that your friends forced you to do this dare" she scowled at your words, "bring that up again and i'll kill them" you chuckled a bit, "you're more mad then i am" "i made you cry." "you did" "i don't like doing that.."

you smiled slightly, "i'm supposed to make you smile, not cry, never cry" "you've made me cry a few times, not including that, when we were arguing.." you raised an eyebrow, "you know i'm sorry" "i know, i'm just teasing"

"you cried and i stopped talking immediately and pulled you into my arms! even when you pushed me away" "you yelled at me!" "i said i was sorryyyy" you both laughed a bit before sana pecked your lips.

"i love you and i can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." "i love you too, sha."

[bharv]

13. What’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

63. Something you hate to see in smut.

63. Something you love to see in smut.

(sorry if you already got some of these 🙈)

eyyy thank you! Back on these fic questions because they are SO good.

13. What’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

So the only person's writing advice I can really stomach is Ursula Le Guin. Everything she's ever written on writing has spoken to me so clearly, so resolutely. I have read thousands of other books on craft and they always leave me numb. So have this quote:

“What’s the use of a great recipe for soufflé if you’re making blintzes?” she asks. “The important thing is to know what it is you’re making, where your story is going, so that you use only the advice that genuinely helps you get there. The hell with soufflé, stick to your blintzes.”

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

I never say never to anything, but I also like what I like. I'm unlikely to do first or second person in fanfiction, though I use both in original work. I'm unlikely to write to trope, even though I will often use them in my work. I don't write to genre expectations, but I definitely have written through the lens of horror and romance.

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

God, anything! What an incredible honour that would be! I had a few artists sketch an old character of mine that was particularly popular in the Dragon Age fandom, but I've never had a scene depicted before. I would be thrilled with literally anything. I suppose right now anything from The First Leaf on the Tree After Winter would be special because there's just not enough Jaheira/Halsin in the world, or equally something Ketheric related from Blood and Bone, Bone and Blood. But yeah. To see Glim or Manva anywhere would make my life.

63. Something you hate to see in smut.

I am such a hater, given that I KNOW how difficult smut is to write but. When characters turn into completely different people during smut. I get that people can be different in sexual situations to their everyday persona but often it feels like it's just a generic sex template people are slotted into. Magical dick making multiple orgasms happen with no cooldown. Also the word pussy can really shove me out in certain situations, especially fantasy settings. There's so many good words. Just call it a cunt!

63. Something you love to see in smut.

Less penetration, honestly. Like it's fine but there's a lot to be said for a good fingering fic. Also people talking through it like. I'm a very aural person and I love a good line of somebody expressing what they're going to do to somebody and the other person losing their fucking MIND. That's good food.

[vicwrites-and-acts]

Writblr Introduction

I've been on Tumblr for a bit now; mainly lurking on my other blog, until I decided i'd make a new one to actively engage in the community, and share what I am most passionate about. So here's my official introduction!

About me:

My name is Victoria, but most call me Vic, so I am fine with whatever you'd like as long as its not derogatory. I'm 24 and very unsure of where the future is going for me. She/her pronouns for me preferably, but I'd also answer to dude or bro, because it's a love language.

I'm a mom of three, so writing or engaging is sometimes limited to my free time. I'm American (I know, I know, how boring.) Kidding. Mostly. I'm also Neurodivergent, but that's probably pretty obvious.

I've been writing since I was eleven, and it's always been a major passion; there's just something so raw and real about storytelling, and I've always been a pretty immersive reader. The book just transforms on the page and I'm swept away into different worlds. Until recently, my writing has mainly been fanfiction. I found it so much easier than being confident in my own abilities as a writer, because the foundation was already laid before me.

I can almost never focus on one thing at a time. So you'll probably see me flip flopping around like a fish out of water.

I'm also an aspiring actress as well as an author. So you'll probably see some things related to that – I hope you don't mind. Some other interests include: Soap making, candle making, sewing, knitting, and Psychology!

Asks and tag list/tag games friendly!

Side note: I am not at all familiar with writblr/tag games at all so any tips is 100% appreciated. Always open to new friends as well!

I will more than likely use this blog for posting about my OC'S, my WIP's, aesthetics, moodboards, Playlists, poetry, and reblogging helpful writing tips, as well as reblogging and helping the writblr community.

ABOUT MY WRITING:

I enjoy reading/writing sci fi, dystopia, fantasy, and horror on occasion. My works will almost always have a romantic subplot because I am a smol hopeless romantic in a big, big world.

HUGE fan of redemption arcs. Yes, please. Give me the morally grey character who does awful things but in the end makes a huge turnaround and is just so chefs kiss

Some of my works will have triggering content, and it will be marked with trigger warnings when applicable.

Some fandoms I engage in and do writing in on my main blog @johnmurphysgirl is as follows:

LOST

The 100

Stranger Things

BBC Merlin

Jurrasic Park/World

There's probably more but my mind goes blank. Rip

My WIP:

Title: Tempus (subject to change/filler name)

Genre: Sci fi, dystopian, romance

(think Lost in Space meets Hunger Games: Catching Fire)

Current status: hahahaha panic induced screeching; chapter two is halfway finished, but I've been struggling with severe writers block for months.

POV: third person, eventual switching, multiple povs.

Plot: Scientists have always meddled in things they couldn't begin to understand; mixing viruses and making bio weapons in the same containment area as cures for all manner of ills. The scientist in question lets out a dangerous disease, a vampiric mutation called the NightWalker Virus.

Only a select few were chosen to go to the Odyssey; a space station that would lead them to safety on a newly discovered planet.

Eris Matthews is an unauthorized stowaway on the Exodus with her best friend Cashmere Moni, and the owner's son, Rhys Grey. The ship's capacity was only meant for four people, not six. They crash land onto their new home, far from the civilization they'd hoped to find.

They'd fled to the stars in hopes of salvation, only to find their new home riddled with demons and unanswered questions, betrayals, and it is not at all what it seems.

[bodacious-energizedprotodermis]

finally finished Dark River! out of all of the books with multiple POVs so far, this one felt the weakest. it felt like the three POVs were almost from different books at times. and the characterization of some characters felt odd. and the ableism was not awesome.

that said, the rescue of the kits from the tunnels was great. the rising tension and dread was so tangible that I felt like I could have taken a bite out of it. the scene where they let the underground river take them to the lake was stressful as shit and it ruled. the final bit of life-threatening tension where one of the kits went under the water in the lake was a good final spike of tension to end it on. Lionpaw's and Heatherpaw's little final farewell to their relationship was sad and sweet. Rock manifesting in the form of a waking dream to Jaypaw having put new scratches on the stick while the tunnels were flooding was fucking nuts, what is going on in that dead cat's head.

the tunnel rescue almost made up for Jaypaw's sudden obsession with the stick and the vision of Fallen Leaves (it's fine if he's obsessed with it, I just wish he'd question this sudden obsession or something? because otherwise it feels like the writers just didn't know how else to give Jaypaw an interest in the ancient ancestors. it isn't until Outcast that this interest in the ancient ancestors is given an in-character reason other than "he feels drawn to it." not that I need all character motivation to be spelled out for me. but this series typically is absolutely not shy about spelling out why characters do things!)

the tunnel rescue is what saved the book for me. most of the book felt disjointed and awkward.

the tunnel rescue brought home a lot of concepts introduced earlier in the book

Jaypaw officially meeting Fallen Leaves after his vision/traveling back in time to meet him and experiencing a major trauma

the stick and Rock

Lionpaw and Heatherpaw officially ending their relationship on good (though sad) terms

Hollypaw finally realizing she can't be friends with Willowpaw

Hollypaw finally being able to prevent a battle and dropping an excellent one-liner on Firestar: "It was never about being right." Fuck yeah Hollypaw, tell him.

Onestar openly acknowledging that yes, the RiverClan trespassers were actually fleeing from a dog and were not intentionally crossing the border, Crowfeather shut the fuck up I'm your Clan leader.

the Three also got a nice long encounter with their half-brother, Breezepaw, which I appreciate. whenever they interact with their WindClan family without knowing, I'm always like

[georgiaandfriends]

Child of Tartarus-Chapter 4

Soon I walked out of the counselors office. Thankfully no one was waiting for me, but I could tell most the school wasn't happy with me. I eventually found Dallas. I walk up to him, my face contorted into a scowl.

“Hi” I say with a slight huff, looking around. Dallas frowned, and I immediately discovered that I didn’t like that expression on his face.

Dallas sighed deeply, massaging his temples. “Hi Kairos. Are you okay?” He says, his voice taking a soft tone. I nodded, trying for a reassuring smile; though, I assume it looked more like a grimace.

“I'm fine. She didn’t hurt me or anything-” I say, Dallas narrowed his eyes at me, seeming to see right through my facade.

“No. I mean are you okay, up here?” He says, leaning down to tap my forehead. I flushed, furrowing my eyebrows.

“I said I was fine,” I say sharply, I hadn’t intended my tone to be so aggressive, so I sigh, “Sorry” I then add, looking up at Dallas.

He shook his head. “No, you're fine. I know you’re stressed with what happened.” Dallas says with a soft expression.

There was an awkward pause in the conversation, with just me and Dallas looking at each other. I then coughed. “Well. I'll see you later I guess,” I say, shifting my many notebooks that I held. I started to head off to class, fidgeting with the strings on my hoodie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dallas POV:

I watched as Kairos walked off, a perplexed look on my face. I know she said she was fine, yet I felt as if something was off. It wasn’t as if I could do anything about it. For now, I was going to confront Heather. I knew I should’ve said something to her sooner, Heather had been a problem for far too long, and it was time for this conflict to end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I eventually find Heather in the halls, walking out of the counselor’s office. I approached her, my expression as serious as I could muster. Heather saw me before I could say anything,

“Dallas! Hi,” she says, twirling her hair, it was like she was trying to hypnotize me. I sigh.

Dallas! Hi,” she says, twirling her hair, it was like she was trying to hypnotize me. I sigh.

“Hi,” I say simply. I tried to appear less friendly, considering despite me saying multiple times that I wasn’t interested, Heather had still followed me around since middle school. I don’t understand why, and I don’t think I ever will. An awkward silence passed between the two of us, before Heather finally said something.

“Dallas. I'm not sure if you can handle this but Kairos, that girl you always hang out with-”

“No. Heather I’m done with you. For real. I've said this so many times, yet you’ve never listened to me. And, what you did to Kairos wasn’t right. I know you may pretend that you're the victim here, but you aren’t.” I say, interrupting Heather mid sentence. Heather stared at me for a second, before completely changing the expression she had. She seemed sad.

“You really believe her? That girl Kairos is lying-” That finally made me lose my composure.

Heather! Can you take a hint? I know what you’ve been doing, and I’m not going to let you treat people like this anymore!-” I huffed, catching my breath. “Look. I don’t want you talking to me ever again.” I added, pinching my temples. I couldn’t stand seeing Heather's face after what she’d done, so before she could reply, I stormed off with a scowl on my face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally, it was seventh period.  I walked into the library, still having a bit of a defeated expression on my face. Obviously, despite me directly calling her out, Heather still was trying to bait me into believing her lies. She really was a snake, even if I didn’t want to believe it. Despite her reputation, I had a bit of a friendship with the girl throughout middle school. I shook it off, finally encountering Kacey and Kairos. They were sitting against the bookshelves, Kacey playing Computer chess, and Kairos having a book stretched across her lap titled Mitologia greca. I assumed the Language was italian. I sit down in front of the two girls.

“Hey” I say simply, trying not to let the annoyance seep into my voice. Kacey looked up, her eyebrow raised.

Hi,” She says, Kairos looked up, a curious expression on her face. Kairos looked at Kacey, before turning back to me.

“What's wrong with you?” Kairos asked bluntly, not even bothering to soften the bluntness of her words. Despite her slightly condescending tone, her face seemed to have the slightest hint of concern. I smiled.

“Aw, is someone worried about me?” I asked, a smirk on my face. That managed to irritate Kairos slightly, much to my amusement.

“Yes, I am actually,” She says, crossing her arms. I was definitely surprised so I couldn’t reply with a retort, Kairos then added

“Quit trying to joke your way out of this. You look like someone sold your PS5 or something. What's the problem?” She asked, her tone softening slightly. I tried to come up with an excuse, but Kairos had clearly figured me out. I sighed.

“Fine. I tried talking to Heather about what happened. It….Obviously didn’t get through to her.” I say. Kairos looked at me with a scowl.

“You want me to beat her up again?” She said bluntly, her eyebrow raised. I poked Kairos in the ribs,

No you dummy, I’m just going to ignore her until she gets the point, I mean Heather is obviously just doing this for attention..” I say, pinching my temples. Kairos hummed, I saw her eyes flash with a hint of amusement.

“Attention you say ... .I'll keep that in mind,” she says to herself. I raise my eyebrow.

“Don’t do anything stupid. You’re smarter than that,” I say, sighing heavily.

I watched as an evil smile made its way across Kairo’s face. I gave her a pointed look. Kairos smiled innocently,

“What? I won’t try anything, like you said I’m smarter than that,” She says,I chuckle half heartedly.

“You’re very smart, I’ll admit. But I know that smile anywhere,” I say,a half smirk on my face.

Kairos froze, her eyebrows raising slightly in surprise. She narrowed her eyes slightly, seeming to process what I had said.

“You..You really paid that much attention? Wow, I've never had anyone be able to read me like that,” Kairos said, tilting her head.

An awkward silence passed between us, Kacey looking between me and Kairos with a confused expression, before her face flashed with some sort of realization. I coughed, trying to break the awkward silence that had passed between us.

“Anyway, what are you planning?” I say, shaking my head, trying to snap out of that stiffness that was still lingering in the air slightly. Kairos smirked.

“A Magician never shares her tricks,” She says simply, another one of those diabolically evil smirks making its way onto her face. After staring at her expression for a bit, I sigh.

“Fine. But, Seriously, don't do anything that you’ll regret.” I finally say, giving up in the face of Kairo’s stubbornness.

I jump as the last bell rings, and it's time for us to leave. I can only hope whatever Kairos is planning isn’t going to end badly. She may not think it, but I know her more than she realizes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kairos POV:

I walked out of the school with a pep in my step, a plan forming inside my head. Nico wasn’t far behind, his dark brown eyes looking at me with a skeptical expression as I rambled about what I was planning- No, going to do.

“So you’re planning on revealing yourself, to a mortal” Nico says skeptically

I shush Nico, “Ah, Ah, Ah- I’m revealing myself to an Empousa and a powerful one at that,” I say, slowing down to walk next to nico.

He sighs, giving me yet another skeptical look “Kairos, how do you know that Harley- or whatever her name was, is an Empousa? If she really was one, how is she hiding from you when you can see through the mist?” I huff,

“That's what I’m trying to figure out. Something is at play here, at first I thought she was just being your typical mean girl, but something is off. Nico, when I first met her I saw her disguise shift. I thought I was insane, but after fighting her something seemed completely fake about her. I felt like I was punching through air” I say, a grim expression on my face.

Nico stilled, looking over to me “Do you think that…one of the primordials is after you?” He says bluntly, staring me in the eyes.

I let out a deep sigh, “I can’t say I don’t think that. But, there’s definitely something wrong, and I need to get to the bottom of it”  

Nico sighed, “We should probably go and see Chiron” he says. It wasn’t a bad idea, and I can't say that I didn’t enjoy going to Camp. In all honesty I felt more welcome there despite being an all powerful goddess or whatever. No matter how much I may try to act like how I’m perceived, I’m still a kid.

“Okay. Let's go home first, I think we need to tell our father about this. But..I think he may already know whats going on,”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[bookofmirth]

Between Elain and Azriel, whose book do you think is next? The books that were released after the trilogy are following the sisters, but based on the ending of House of Sky and Breath (CC2), it seems as if the next book will focus heavily on Azriel and Truth-Teller, because Bryce will need it. So I think the next character to have a POV will be Azriel, but I can’t know for sure. I have realized that speculating for SJM’s novel are so difficult because there is barely any planning involved for her, she writes what she wants to write. Anyways, I want to know your thoughts.

I still think Az is next! Agreed that speculating is difficult. I swear until acosf came out, I never bothered trying to figure out what would happen next in the plot because:

I don't want to spoil myself if I'm right. I'm the type of person who barely even glances at blurbs before I read a book. I don't want to know anything, so why would I spend lots of time trying to figure out all the plot points intentionally!

I also don't like fandom theories that much, personally. Some of my friends adore them, but I am meh. I am more of a character analysis person. Most theories involve what's going to happen in the future, which... see point #1.

SJM does tend to do whatever feels good at the time. I am convinced that she lets ships guide her first - in other words, how can I get these two in a room to f*ck - and then makes the plot and world stuff fit to make that happen. Even if it doesn't always make sense. Plot who? World what? Ships matter. And this is reinforced by her stating - repeatedly - that the remaining acotar books are romance-based and focus on one couple each, meaning no multi-pov like we got with ToG (though I entertained the thought for a minute, she has repeatedly said Nope to multiple POVs).

The world in acotar is not fleshed out, which is fine! It doesn't need to be, necessarily, when the emphasis is on the romance and she generally does that well. But that fact means that she can throw whatever she wants at us, whenever she wants, all in service of reason #2 *stares in Dread Trove and Amren randomly remembering shit*

All that said, if I were a betting person I'd still think Az is next haha. It just makes sense for what we learned in acosf/hosab, it makes sense for the crossover, it makes sense for the ships, and it makes sense for him psychologically considering his state of mind, and it makes sense considering he got a POV chapter (despite sjm supposedly forgetting the men, as people are trying to mis-characterize her talk a couple of weeks ago).

Chaol gets a chapter -> Tower of Dawn

Nesta preview -> Acosf

Az gets his first chapter -> guess what

There are still a hundred reasons why I think he's next, and while we all know that Elain is getting a book and have known that for years, and I personally can't wait so we finally know exactly what she's thinking and feeling, there is nothing in the current plot or in her current state of mind that hints that she's there yet. It would be a huge leap, and honestly insulting that we didn't get her POV to set her up, when we've gotten that for other characters.