#and I’ve missed reading everyone’s amazing content ^^

[doumadono]

ANNOUNCEMENT

This is a turning point for me. I've been silent for too long, but I can't stay quiet anymore.

I'm going through writer's burnout, and it has hit me hard. I've been writing on Tumblr and Ao3 for nearly eight years now (with about 1.5 years on my private blog, doumadono). Over that time, I've written more than 400 stories across various fandoms, created the Sinful Sunday event and a series that many people like, helped many with numerous emergency requests — so many that one masterlist wasn't enough to cover them all.

But all of this has brought me to a place where writing no longer feels like a joy, but rather a duty. In my effort to make everyone happy, I lost myself and took on too much, accepting even the most twisted and difficult requests. It made me anxious and unwell whenever I thought about writing. This is why I haven't been posting much these past few weeks. I missed the breaking point and let myself reach a place where I was seriously considering quitting writing altogether and closing both my Tumblr and Ao3 accounts.

There's something else I need to address. I feel completely detached from Jujutsu Kaisen and Demon Slayer. I no longer feel comfortable writing for those fandoms. From now on, I'll be focusing mostly on My Hero Academia. Even though the manga recently ended, both the manga and the anime hold a special place in my heart. I’ve fallen in love with the story and its amazing characters. This is what feels right to me at this moment. That doesn't mean I'll never write for Demon Slayer or other fandoms again, but not now, not at this time. Maybe in the future — who knows?

Some of you might know that I've been dealing with a flood of hateful anonymous messages. Even though I’ve grown stronger and no longer consider them relevant, it still hurts to read such nasty words. This is another factor why I need to take a break.

So, what's going to change?

Sinful Sunday will no longer cover requests, and the event won't be as regular as it used to be. From now on, I'll post some sinful pieces specifically written for this event whenever I feel it's right. I'll write only for the characters I feel attached too.

Emergency requests will be limited to two slots and will no longer have a 48-hour window to be fulfilled. Once both slots are taken, emergency requests will be closed until I manage to clear the current asks in my inbox.

As of today, my ask box has been completely cleared. I won't be replying to any past asks, regardless of their origin or topic.

Commissions will remain open, as nearly all the requests have been fulfilled.

Regarding the following projects:

The Kvitravn series will be completed this year, but I can't provide a specific date just yet as I'm still working hard to bring everything together.

There's also a new series on the horizon featuring Dabi in the lead role, with a psychiatrist!Reader as the other main character.

As for Kinktober, I made a hard decision it will not be held as an event on my blog this year at all.

As of now, I want to focus on my own little My Hero Academia based AU that I created with my best friend @crystalwolfblog , and this is something that brings me a lot of comfort nowadays, and it's what I want to focus on. I’ll likely create another blog to post everything related to this AU, to keep things organized (the blog will be linked to my pinned post). This little AU was and is my safe haven for the past year and half, and since it contains all of my favourite characters, I want to focus on it fully.

The time for purification has come. I need to rediscover my purpose and find joy in writing again. To those who understand and have stuck with me since the ThePaperPanda days — you’re amazing and adorable, and I can never express how much I appreciate you, guys 💞

I want to share one last thought. This isn’t a statement, but rather a plea to readers: please respect writers, no matter the content they choose to explore. Writing is not as easy as it may seem; it requires a significant amount of time and effort, often taking up our personal time to craft a story. Don't send anon hate. Spread love instead! The least you can do to show your appreciation is to leave a comment, even if it’s just a word or two. For you, it’s a small gesture that takes less than a minute, but for the writer on the other side, it may be a much-needed sign that their work is meaningful. So if you enjoy an author’s work, don’t hesitate to leave a comment. It truly makes us writers feel like we’re on cloud nine.

Love you all, Marcianna

[strawbeerossi]

The Party Trick

18+ Content. Minors DNI

Pairing: fem!reader x Spencer Reid

Description: After seeing a tutorial on how to pick a lock on handcuffs, reader decides to put it to the test to have a new party trick to show the others at the BAU. After doing it a few times with each hand, she gets bold and cuffs both wrists, leaving her trapped, until Spencer comes over and things get interesting.

Content Warning: Coarse language, panic, fear of embarrassment, restraints, Spencer laughs and teases reader, sub Spencer, Dom reader, mean reader, humiliation fetish, praising, degradation, orgasm denial, oral (m receiving), vaginal sex, unprotected sex.

Word Count: 3.2K

Y'all, I'm nervous as fuck to post this lmao. This has been in the drafts for a while. I'm not the best with smut because I haven't written it in a while. This is your warning. Read at your own risk.

Part two

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“This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.” Y/N spoke aloud to herself, an agitated huff leaving her lips.

An hour ago, she’d been watching some random YouTube videos, just mainly to pass the time. There was all sorts of dumb shit she watched, although when she came across a video or a man showing how to pick the locks of a handcuff with a bobby pin, it captured her interest. It seemed simple enough, cuff one hand to something beside you then use the bobby pin to pick the keyhole and free yourself.

She had way too much fun as she figured out exactly how to do it, starting with handcuffing herself to the handle on the nightstand. It took about five minutes to get herself free, the woman switching wrists eventually and getting herself freed with more practice.

Then she got cocky. All she could picture was using this as a party trick, having someone handcuff her hands behind her back while she used the pin that she could hide in the palm of her hand to escape. Then everyone would be astonished and impressed. So, she was determined to make that dream a reality.

It all happened so fast. She had the pin in the palm of her right hand, securely held as she used her left to cuff right wrist. In an attempt to close it with her hand still clamped around the pin, she did her best to lock the cuffs around her left wrist. However, in the act of finding a way to lock it, the pin slipped from yer grasp just as she had her wrists cuffed behind her back. 

“Fuck!” She cursed, panic setting in from being trapped without anyone to help her. So, in an awkward attempt to lean down to grab the only thing that could free her, she was bending in all sorts of positions to try and secure the hairpin that was laying on the floor, almost taunting her. Well, now she’d be stuck in her apartment until someone figured out she was missing. Then she’d more than likely have a whole team of people to bust down her door and then laugh at her.

This was the opposite that she wanted. Now she’d be the talk of the team for trapping herself in handcuffs while trying some stupid attempt to free herself. She could already hear all the shit Derek would tease her with now.

“The amazing Y/N, going to show us the special trick that not all fbi agents should be trusted with handcuffs!”

“You know, you shouldn’t play with the tools we are given for the field.”

Derek fucking Morgan.

There was a sigh of defeat as Y/N was accepting her fate of being known for the idiot on the team who gets herself trapped.

However, she was pulled out of her thoughts when she could hear a knock against her apartment door. Thank God! Hopefully it was a family member or something. They’d understand that she did dumb things sometimes and would let her live it down more than her coworkers would.

While hurrying and running from her room like a criminal trying to escape capture with the cool metal of the handcuffs stabbing into their flesh, she was stopping at the front door. “Hold on!” She called, turning around first to try and reach the lock so she could unlock the door. However, when it wasn’t working out, she was huffing from irritation and turning around. She ended up having to use her mouth to unlock the top lock, same with the bottom.

“You’ll have to open the door!” She called, taking a few steps back. However, her heart dropped when she seen who was on the other side of the door. The only reason she was alerted of his presence early was from the way he was asking if she was alright. The moment that Spencer Reid came into view, Y/N face was bright red from embarrassment.

“Not a word of this to the team!” Her voice came out in a squeak, making the genius snort out a laugh as he walked around the woman after closing the door behind him. “How did you even manage to trap yourself?” He asked, not giving her time to answer.

“Y/N Houdini.” He snickered as he was stopping and bringing his hands to run over the metal of the cuffs restraining her arms behind her back. “Is this gonna be your debut into escapism magic? Cause I think you have to actually know how to escape to put on a show.” He continued on.

The words had Y/N’s face growing hotter from the teasing, a huff leaving her lips. “Get your laughs out. Come on.” She demanded while turning around soon after. “Piss me off and I’ll cuff you to your desk at the office and swallow the key.” Of course, all talk and no action from a woman who essentially trapped herself.

“Are you kidding?! I wouldn’t let you. Besides, I’ve seen enough of escapism magic to know how to escape.. Without losing the thing that will grant me freedom.” He commented while grabbing ahold of the cuffs while he chuckled. "Show me where the key is." He spoke, his tone level as the humor of the situation was losing it's power over him.

It wasn't fully lost on him though. In fact, he'd never let her live it down. "You know, the others would've probably forgot about this at some point.." He trailed off, looking around the walls decorated with tapestries, pictures, and some other miscellaneous wall decor. "I, however, will not." He smirked.

Stupid fucking eidetic memory.

"Ha ha. You're hilarious."

"I think you take the cake for being hilarious. Everyone is gonna love this story. I'm sure that even Hotch will get a laugh out of it."

"I hate you."

In reality, it was.. Kinda funny. The thought of seeing someone else on the team in the position she was currently in was enough to make her snort out a laugh of her own. "I'm a fucking idiot, huh?"

The words made Spencer wave her off. "Definitely not a genius but.. Maybe a little smarter than Morgan." His tone was teasing as he was grabbing the small box she showed him that contained the key to the cuffs suspending her.

His first mistake was freeing her, mainly because there was a form of blind trust after being the one to free him.

The minute that Spencer had those cuffs off and was handing her the metallic restraints and turned his back to her, she as using the opportunity to catch him off guard, the male's eyes widening the moment he felt the cold metal against his skin.

"Y/N! What the hell??"

Now it was her turn to laugh, her hands coming up to rest against her mouth. "Now who's the genius, Reid?" She taunted, all in good fun.

Spencer's face was red, eyes on the ground while he had to take in a breath. His body was tense, feeling powerless in the time being.

He was also incredibly turned on by the idea of doing whatever he needed to in order to get out of the cuffs.

The silence grew heavy, tension filling the air. "Oh, come on. Don't be mad at me, Spence. It's all in good fun!" She said while heading over to grab his upper arms. "You are so red," She pouted, her hands cupping the hot skin of his face as he was staring down at the woman, looking as submissive as ever.

That did something to her, a blush creeping up on her face as sinful thoughts began to plague her mind. The thought of leaving a whimpering, sticky mess. The way he'd definitely be the type to beg her for more while she was seated pretty on his lap, doing something like read a book while just being full.

The thoughts had her thighs tightly clenching, arousal surely coating her panties enough to make a wet spot.

Unable to help herself, it wasn't long until the tie around his neck was in her hand, pulling the man down to clash their lips together. The action had Spencer squeaking, although his lips were desperately slotting with hers in a messy kiss. He needed it. He needed her.

It wasn't abnormal for Spencer to have such thoughts, his coworker being on his mind since the moment she joined the team. How could he not be fond of her? She was beautiful, intelligent, plus she was probably the only person who would actually sit and listen to his ramblings whenever something came up.

She was perfect in every way really, however, he knew that there was a long list of things preventing a relationship within the team. Last thing he wanted was for himself or Y/N to be transferred to a different branch.

However his thoughts weren’t particularly on that right now, his body falling back against the plush mattress from a push, not even having time to register what was happening before the woman was straddling his waist. Her hands were on either side of his face, her lips pressing back against his in a more rough, needy kiss.

Spencer's wrists were fighting the cuffs, a huff being muffled against Y/N's lips as he realized that he was being denied the right to touch her, to let his hands caress her smooth skin. His heart was beating against his chest, almost as if it were dying to be released.

All of his thoughts were eventually going out the door the minute he felt the feeling of delicate fingers in his hair. However instead of savoring the feeling of her fingers threading through the messy head of curls, his mouth was agape as soon as her hand was roughly pulling Spencer's hair back.

"I'm gonna fuck you stupid, Dr. Reid."

Oh.

The words were enough to make a moan rip from Spencer’s throat, eyes trained up on the woman who was propping herself up on her knees in order to look down at the man. 

“Cat got your tongue, doctor?” Y/N taunted while she was looking down at the man with a soft smirk. She didn’t even have to touch him and he was already putty in her hands. The way his eyes were trained on her, looking like a puppy begging for more. “‘Cause you were very vocal earlier when you had so much to say.” She mused.

“I-I” The woman was bringing her hands to Spencer’s shoulders, her hips rocking against his while awaiting an answer.

“I’m waiting.” 

“I-I.. Fuck. I don’t have anything to s-say.” He stuttered, bucking his hips to try and relieve the pressure from his cock that was already standing at attention. “Who would’ve thought Spencer Reid would be quiet when someone is trying to talk to him? You don’t have any facts? Statistics?” She continued dragging on, nudging Spencer’s body back in order to have him lay down in the middle of the queen sized bed. 

“Give me a statistic about..” She was looking around her bedroom while sliding down Spencer’s legs. “Ooh! A statistic about dominant and submissive dynamics..” She dragged out the word ‘submissive’ as her hands were slowly moving to unbutton his pants. His head was spinning, brain mush.

“A study showed that,” He paused as her fingers were quickly tugging down the zipper before her hands were pulling the slacks down his legs. “I didn’t tell you to stop.” She commented, her eyebrow raising as her movements came to a halt. “T-that 51% of men and 39-” His eyes were fluttering shut the minute he felt her mouth now ghosting over his hard cock in his underwear, her tongue licking over the wet spot of his boxers.

“39% of women are attracted to the idea of having a d-dominant or submissive partner..” He stuttered out, now lifting his hips in hopes of feeling those delicate fingers in the waistband of his boxers. Which, his wish was granted. “That’s really interesting, isn’t it? Good job, baby.” She hummed.

As his cock was revealed to her, she was grinning. His tip was red, beads of pre-cum rolling down his angry, desperate cock. “So pretty!” She praised, laying on her stomach between his legs as her hand was wrapping around the thick base of his cock, thumb swiping over the sensitive tip to smear the mess around.”Who knew Dr. Reid was hiding this? Always the shy and smart ones, huh?” She commented, pressing a kiss to the tip of his cock.

Spencer could hear her talking, however he wasn’t responding. His brain was clouded, head falling back against the pillow that rested behind his head. “F-fuck.” He hissed, her tongue now running over the underside of the genius’ cock, cleaning up the mess that she’d already caused. 

Her hands came out to rest firmly against his hips, holding him down from bucking like he so desperately tried to do. “P-please..” He let out a slow breath as his eyes were fluttering shut. His voice was shaking, tone laced with need and more desperation than she could’ve expected.

She smiled while licking over his cock one more time before granting him yet another desperate plea that fell from his lips in the form of a whimper. As her lips closed around his cock, she let her eyes flutter shut. Her tongue was flat, her head beginning to move in a slow motion. She was hollowing her cheeks while bobbing her head, her own moans vibrating around his already desperate cock. As she let her grip tighten on his hips, her eyes were opening to peak up at him through her eyelashes.

His curls were disheveled, his head thrown back as his chest was rapidly rising and falling. The strangled sounds of whimpers and pleads for more falling from his lips. It was a beautiful sight, she knew that much. 

Spencer wasn’t the only one wildly turned on, Y/N’s panties being absolutely drenched at this point. From her position, she could rock her hips against the mattress, just wanting to relieve the pressure in her clit as she could practically feel her heartbeat in the bundle of nerves. She was growing desperate herself, needing to feel his cock inside her, stretching her out with the delicious burn that came with it.

She was pulled from her thoughts when she could feel the twitch of his cock, indicating he was close. That was her cue to pull off with a loud ‘pop’ echoing through the room along with a small whine falling from Spencer's lips. That whine was enough to make her clench around nothing.

“Shush.” She breathed while wiping the spit from her jaw with her thumb, a breathless laugh leaving her lips as she was eventually standing, enough to shimmy her pants and panties down her legs to reveal her glistening cunt. Spencer’s eyes were trailing slowly up her now bare legs, eyes coming to her pussy while his mouth was open, pupils blown out from lust. “Please let me touch you. Wanna- Fuck- Wanna be able to-” He was cut off by her lips, the two sharing a chaste kiss before her teeth were sinking into his lower lip, giving it a playful tug before letting it go. 

“Not this time.” She spoke softly, her lips kissing him once more before she was crawling over him again, her hands running over his clothed chest while moving between them.

As soon as she had his cock in her hands, all sense of reason went out the window. To be fair, neither of them were really thinking of a condom right now. 

After teasing herself by tapping his tip against her clit, she sucked in a breath. “Fuck, Spencer.” She whispered, eventually sinking down his base. Her head was lolling forward, her mouth agape as she was sinking fully, their pelvises now flush against one another’s. “Holy fuck.”

Spencer on the other hand had to think of anything other than cumming inside of her before she even got a chance to even ride him. However, he felt like she’d ultimately end up overstimulating him in that scenario. He didn’t want that now though. No, he’d rather wait until he didn’t have fucking metal preventing him from gripping onto her hips, letting him fuck up into her rather than be forced to watch her have every ounce of control and power. Even though he had to admit, he could get used to this. 

As her velvety walls were clenching around his cock, she was leaning forward slightly as her hips were rolling against his, her head falling forward as she cried out softly. With the length that Spencer had, the right angle would have his tip pushing perfectly against the spongy spot deep inside her that was making her see stars already. 

“F-fuck. You f-feel amazing.” It was Spencer's turn to talk, watching the way her tits were bouncing with every movement, even with a clothed torso, she had the man below salivating at the thought of what lay below that blue cardigan. “You take m-my cock so well.” Even through the grunts and groans, there was still a hint of him being unsure. This wasn’t really something he did often, so here we was, doing something he’d seen once or twice in the few pornos he’d consumed at some point. “Ah! Fuck, Reid. I’m gonna cum. Fuck, you- ugh.” Y/N breathed, continued her motions  while doing her best to quicken her pace, even though her bounces were growing a bit sloppy, her legs getting tired. 

With the grip of his tie and a loud cry of his name, it wasn’t long until she was creaming on his cock, a thin veil of sweat on her face as she was continuing her movements. “Fuck. You gonna cum, Reid? Wanna fill me up? She spoke, the words sending electricity through the man’s body as his cock was twitching once more.

He’d done his best to thrust his hips upward, a low groan leaving his lips as he only needed a few more movements before his vision went white.

Y/N was a whimpering mess, feeling the warm gush of cum that Spencer was coating her inner walls with, the woman’s upper body gently falling forward as her eyes flutter shut. 

They laid there for a while, the woman clutching tightly onto her close friend while trying to catch her breath. “Remind me to carry around those handcuffs more often.” She spoke, a light laugh leaving her lips as she was lifting her hips and moving off of him soon after.

“Maybe don’t get yourself trapped next time..” Spencer chuckled, now looking over at the woman as she was sitting him up, finally using the key to free his wrists from their restraints. “Feel like you owe me now..” He began, the woman laughing as she placed the cuffs on her bedside table. 

“Spencer Reid, are you really asking me for round two right now?” She asked, making the man give a cheeky smile.

“Maybe if you’re the one in the handcuffs this time.”

[seatnights]

Who are some of your favorite fan fiction writers?

i spent hours to collect usernames of authors i enjoyed reading from, and i’m sure i missed some, but i tried.

are u ready for this?

authors you SHOULD support:

oneforthemunny / icallhimjoey / jamdoughnutmagician / rosebudsgarden / willowsgri / joequinnisgod / eddiemunsons80sbaby / chrrymunson / eddiemunsonswhxre / lonelysatellites / loveshotzz / usedtobecooler / carolmunson / upsidedownwithsteve / sherifftillman / spicysix / emsgoodthinkin / retrobutterflies / tiannasfanfic / athena-writes-i-guess / shesinchargeareyoukidding / cooliestghouliest / singularattitudeofasafetypin / babybluebex / quinnyfairy / moonchildquinn / i-me-mine / luveline / myosotisa / silent-stories / blueywrites / steviesbicrisis / munson-blurbs / ficsbypix / lovejosephquinn / eddieschains / prettyboyeddiemunson / eddieandbird /pleasantlycrazyworld / corroded-hellfire / trashmouth-richie / justmeinadaze / mopeymopeymouse / munsonslilbunnie / keeponquinning / gatorstillman / allthingsjoeq / jadeylovesmarvelxo / mysticmunson / sugarsblurbs / taintedcigs / gag-me-munson / gravedigginbbydoll / ratskcoreddie / andvys / manicpixiedreamcurl / thruheavenandhighwater / joejoequinnquinn / munsonsreputation / upsidedownmvnson / hellfiresmaster / elightysixbaby / eddiessluttywaist / littledemondani / choke-me-eddie / eddiemunsonsmum / eddiemunsonfuxks / pinkrelish / hllfireclb / indulgence-be-thy-name / wheels-of-despair / hellfiremunsonn / filthyjoetini / ghost-proofbaby / havecourage-darling / forever-rogue / queenimmadolla / josephfakingquinn / roanniom / bimbobaggins69 / songforeddiemunson / munsons-hellfire / honey-flustered / eddie-van-munson / storiesbyrhi / lovebugism / neonghostlights / harrywavycurly / chestylarouxx / courtingchaos / galaxy-siren / harringtons-cupid / hard-candy-writing / wroteclassicaly / raccoonboywrites / dr-aculaaa / palomahasenteredthechat / palomahasenteredthechat / forevermoreharrington / corrodedcorpses / strangerquinns / sunnythevampireslayer / lesservillain / stevenose / eddiesxangel / stveharringtn / spookysteddie / keeksandgigz / darlingsfandom / her-power / idkidknemore / francisquinn / inkluvs / ashwhowrites / hellfire--cult / succubusmunson / v8mpstamp / stevieswhore / munsons-maiden / rustboxstarr / corrodedseraphine / reidsbtch / lexlec / katiemcrae / the-unforgivenn / keerysfolklore / appocalipse / familyvideowithsteve / tiannamortis / joekeeryswife / bettyfrommars / cinemamunson / munson-mjstan / teddyeyeseddie / lofaewrites / mediocredreams / leasstories

OK SO

here we have 137 authors, i didn’t tag anyone cuz i would probably have disturbed half of the fandom, sorry if it’s more difficult this way, but i hope i could help you a bit.

obviously, there’s no order of preference of any kind, and i tried to put as many authors as i could but i know i’ve missed someone. if i did, i’m deeply sorry, it wasn’t on purpose and i have nothing against you! if you wish you can message me or slide in my ask and ill add you immediately!

now, i’m a bit tired after all of this, and my hand hurts but:

DON’T FORGET TO SUPPORT THE AUTHORS!!!

they put their works for free!!! everyone can enjoy media and content for free thanks to them! and it cost you nothing to reblog and share their work.

thank you for every creators / writers/ artist out there to make every single works of yours and sharing them with the world. all of you deserve so much, and thanks to you for so many people the day gets better, it’s like having a sweet little treat, like taking care of yourself, like finding a place where you are understood. so, thank you infinitely. keep it up cause you’re doing amazing!

-🤍🌻🌱

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

No Time This Time 10

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon and other elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You prize order and practicality but your past, and newest client, throw your life into chaos. (older [~50s] reader)

Character: Tony Stark

Notes: Don't even mention how long this update took. I mean it.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you like Tony loves his own voice. Take care. 💖

A yellow cab pulls up and the window rolls down. You near warily and the door swings out. Matt sticks his cane out before he steps through, ducking his head lower than needed. He stands and you click closer on your low-heeled leather boots. 

"Hey," you call to him, "right here, Murdock." 

"Told ya, Matt's fine," he smiles in your direction and waves his arm, hitting his hand on the car door, "shall we?" 

"I'm dying for a drink," you eagerly step past him and dip into the backseat. 

“Hope you don’t mind, I was thinking somewhere that doesn’t feel like a cult,” he kids as he follows you in. 

“Not at all. I’ve been to some dives in my day. Probably the most fun I’ve had,” you click the seat belt into place and sigh. 

“I thought you were out of town,” he says as he feels around for the buckle. 

“Was.” 

“And...” 

“Family emergency,” you answer. 

“Ah, hope I’m not keeping you from that,” he replies. 

“You’re saving me from it, trust me.” You cross one leg over the other and peer out at the city lights. 

You’re uneasy. It’s not the spontaneity or even the fact that your mother is in the hospital and you have a thousand things to worry about. It’s more than that. You aren’t read to be back in New York. The glare of a red light twinges in your chest, hinting at the reason why. 

“You alright?” He asks, breaking the silence. 

“Uh, yeah, jet lag. Sorry.” 

“I’ll try not to keep you out too late.” 

“Just try to make me go home,” you challenge.  

He chuckles and it eases your nerves. Just enough to get through the lull of traffic. He tells the driver to slow down and let you out on the corner. He pays and sidles out. 

You follow and he taps around. He guides you to a bar with a dingy yellow sign. The furor from inside beckons to you. It’s somewhere you can fade into the background, even if your tweed sweater might make you stick out like a blackeye. 

He tells you to find a table. You do and announce you’ll be in the corner. He assures you he can find you. You can’t help but admire how he moves through the world so effortlessly. You have your sight and can admit you’ve felt lost in the city rush. 

You sit and wait patiently. Your phone vibes incessantly. You don’t look at the messages before you set it to Do Not Disturb. Your mother has doctors, the best care you can afford, and your sister can handle a few hours without tagging you in. Whoever else may be bothering you can wait. 

Matt approaches with two pints, his can hugged beneath his elbow. You watch him in amazement. He kicks around with his fit until he finds the chair. He puts down one glass, then the other, and his can clatters to the floor. He retrieves it without missing a beat. 

He sits by your shoulder and laughs, “I may have had a few before I came.” You laugh at his joke. He leans his cane against the table and reaches for his glass. He lifts it, “cheers. Hope you don’t mind a bit of lager.” 

“I won’t turn my nose up at a free drink,” you clink his glass. “Especially with a good looking young man.” 

He snorts, “not that young.” 

“Oh no?” 

“I know what I’m doing,” he affirms and takes a swig. You taste the thin foam. It isn’t the worst brew you’ve tasted. 

“I could never doubt your expertise. A young and upcoming graduate. Isn’t that what the paper wrote?” 

“It’s been a while,” he evens his tone and turns his head towards you. “You wanna take the edge off and I wanna take your panties off. I think we could make a deal.” 

As crass as his suggestion is, you can appreciate his pointed approach. Your cheek burn like they haven’t in years. It’s been some time since a man didn’t make you feel anything but rage or disgust. 

“I’m sure we can come to acceptable terms,” you extend your arm and hesitate. Suddenly you’re very afraid. You hover your hand before you make yourself clamp down on his thigh. 

He sits back and drapes his arm on your chair as he grins and takes another drink, “you’ll have no objections from me.” 

👜

The moonlight beams through the large square window panes, refracting off the silhouette of writhing bodies. The silver glow slats over Matt’s shoulders as he bends his head over your chest and nuzzles between your tits. You could blame the beer or the stress or a number of things but there’s no shame in you. You want this. 

A cluster unfurls in your chest. A sensation completely new to you. You’re giddy. This man, this handsome, younger man, hasn’t let up for a single moment. He’s matched your energy every step of the way. The tension chains you together, locking you in the tunnel vision of sheer desire. 

It might help that he can’t see you. That even with the sheen of moonlight limning your figure, he won’t notice the rippled lines around your hips and thighs, are the extra crinkles around your eyes.  

He slips his hands beneath you and you arch your back as he unhooks your bra. He’s more agile in the release than any man you’ve been with. You could chalk it up to his familiarity with working without seeing but there’s a confidence in his movement that assures you it’s more than that. 

You moan and close your eyes as he drags the bra down your arms and frees your chest. Your tits aren’t as perky or tight as they once were. None of you is. There’s a soft layer that covers every inch of you; arms, chest, stomach, legs. His hands worship it as if you’re a goddess in the flesh. 

You shiver and hook your hand around his head as he takes your nipple in his mouth. The pressure tweaks and draws another sigh from you. He swirls his tongue around the beaded bud and you clutch his head tighter. 

His other hand tickles along your side and follows the line of your pelvis. He brushes up and down as if savouring the feel of you. You run your fingers along his shoulder, muscles hard beneath your touch. He guides your panties down your legs and untangles them from your ankles before setting back to his mission. 

He dotes on you, nosing you, nibbling, and nuzzling. He sucks and teethes, groaning as he reaches between your legs. He grazes along your lips and you shake, tensing then easing into him. You comb your fingers through his hair and caress his shoulder as he descends your body. 

He kisses along your stomach, goosebumps prickling in his stead. His lip brush along your pelvis and you arch your back with a gasp. Your fingers curl as his soft tresses flow between them. You bring your hand up to clutch at your chest as his breath fogs between your thighs. 

He presses a lip to the tender flesh. He trails up to your groomed triangle and traces the crease of your pelvis. He pushes against you with his nose and pokes his tongue out to taste between your folds.  

He flutters his fingers up your leg and flicks along your entrance. You twitch as he laps at you long and slow. He hums in delight and encircles your clit with his lips. He sucks and gently rolls your bud between his teeth. You moan louder as he inches his finger into you. 

He pushes down to his first knuckle and pulls back out. He repeats the motion as you quiver desperately. He sinks in to his limit and wiggles his finger as he rocks his head. He drinks you up as he draws his hand back again and lines up a second finger. 

He delves into you as his mouth enthralls you. You writhe, legs bending, feet arching, breath trembling. You can’t get enough. You put your hands around his head and urge him on. You rock your hips in time with him. 

You huff and heave, mewling and moaning. You push your chest up and drone as your climax blooms. Slow at first. Creeping along your thighs and stomach before flooding into your core. You squeal as your defenses shatter. 

He wipes his lips along your pelvis and trails over your hip. His breath is shallow as he raises himself on his knees. He hooks his thumbs in the elastic of his briefs and tugs them down. His dick bobs out, rigid and wanting, all for you. He wants you. 

You push yourself up on one elbow and reach for him. You pump him as he lets out a startled noise. You toy with him, stroking as you bring yourself up. You roll your thumb around his tip and he spasms. He catches your hand, stopping you. 

He reaches for the waiting condom. He stretches it over himself as he gazes down at you. You’re happy you can’t see his face, that he can’t see all of you. 

His other hand comes up behind your head and he pulls you into kiss him. You’re reticent as your lips meet. You don’t want that. You just want to fuck but it’s nice. You won’t spoil the moment. 

As his tongue pokes along your lips, your chest plucks. Your eyes pop open and you grip him tighter. A memory flickers in your head. He pulls back to look at you and you release him. You shake out your fingers as your knuckles ache. 

“Hey...” he whispers. 

“I’m fine,” you cup beneath his dick and squeeze his balls, “just fuck me.” 

You move on your knees and he sits on the mattress. You climb over his lap as you tease him and rub him against your wet cunt. He frames your hips with his hands and groans. You put him against your cunt and sheath him in your walls. You shudder and clasp onto his thick arm. 

He feels along your side and chest as you settle onto him. You keep your face down and eyes closed. He hooks his hand around your lower back as you start to rock, your clit rubbing on his pelvis as you start your deliberate motion. 

You slide your hand behind his neck and pull him closer. He buries his head between your tits and slips down to grope your ass. He guides you, groaning and growling as you ride him. 

Another strike of fear courses through you and you recoil. Before he can react, you push him onto his back and he grunts in surprise. You pin him with your hand on his chest and roll your hips. You moan through your teeth. 

You want this. You want him. It’s not like it was. Don’t think about that. Don’t think about him. 

You bite your lip and dig your nails into his muscle. His rocky voice wafts into the air as he keeps a hand on your chest, his other on your thigh. You puff as you speed up. 

“Mmm, oh, you’re so good,” he breathes. “Mmm, god.” 

“Yeah,” you push your hand up to his shoulder as your other snakes down between your legs, “not too bad yourself.” 

“Fuck,” he snarls. “Ah, wow, I... this is... ahhhhh.” 

You grit your teeth and roll your eyes back. You play with your clit as the tension builds, coiling around your fingertips, mounting as the friction turns to fire. You babble as you chase your orgasm. You cum but don’t stop.  

You have to keep going. You need to cling to this feeling. A rare moment of bliss breaking through the stony sharpness of your everyday existence. The one time you’re not trapped behind that icy wall. You are enshrined in the licking flames of your need. 

He cups your ass as he eggs you on, muttering your name between airy moans. You buck hard, clapping down on him even as your bones aches. More, more, more. 

You climax again. You can’t stop. You rip your hand away and slap it down on his other shoulder. You keep him at your mercy. 

He grunts and lurches you suddenly. He rolls you over and pins you beneath him. He ruts into you, shaking the bed, crushing you into the mattress. 

The ecstasy turns to panic as your chest constricts. You claw at his shoulders as your eyelids paint another seen inside. The metal walls of the elevator, the tickle of a coarse goatee, the taunting laughter. 

Matt goes rigid and twitches as he reaches his peak. He eases his motion and exhales as he lowers his weight onto you. He rests his head beside your shoulder as you lay limp. You feel the pulsing behind your eyes, that heat that threatens to break through. 

Your hand shakes and you touch his side. 

“Let me up,” you whisper. 

“Hm?” he shifts slightly. 

“Let me up,” you demand, your usual sternness taking over. 

He slides out of you and pushes off. You’re up in an instant, staggering around the dark and into the bathroom. You slam the door and hide on the other side. You stand in the blackness but can see your shadowy reflection. You growl at it and throw your hands up. 

You are not doing this. You’re fine. You’re fine! 

You can’t not be fine. 

[boba-beom]

✦ ⁺ ⨯ . ⁺ americano | K.TH

pairing: taehyun x gn!reader

genre: fluff! | oneshot

warning(s): lowercase intended, mentions of uni stress, soft tsundere tyun agenda 🤭, light banter, reader almost accepts that feelings might be one-sided, reader still tries to shoot their shot, mentions of food and drinks ofc, they fell first but he fell harder type of trope hehe, lmk if I’ve missed anything, not proofread

summary: you tell taehyun you want to go out for a walk at night, and he comes over so you won’t have to walk alone

wc: 1.1k

a/n: happy 21st birthday to my favourite nyang nyang <3 here’s some light tsundere content for our beloved kang taehyun! i also tried writing a little different to how i usually do, feedback would be amazing, thank you <3

-> also got the inspo from this clip :>

the past few weeks have been so stressful with second semester up and running. you know that you always have taehyun to talk to when you were struggling, but you've been messaging him and calling him more frequently these days. this time around, you weren't too sure if you wanted to call him again just for the same reason as before. perhaps it's also you trying to avoid him in the slightest ever since you realised your growing crush on him.

sometimes you wonder why he hangs around with you in general. you can't help but wonder, there must be someone really attractive in any of his classes and it's possible someone likes him too. who wouldn't? he's intelligent, witty, extremely handsome and confident.

what you were unaware about was that taehyun would drop anything — that isn't too important — for you. those times you didn't expect him to reply or pick up the phone, he did not hesitate to help you out with uni work — as long as it means he gets to see you.

sometimes you felt like wanting to go for walks when it's late at night. just the thought of walking around the quiet neighbourhood when everyone is done for the day appealed to you. even the silence on the road, no cars in your neighbourhood are out past 10pm and just the soft rustle of the trees lightly swaying from the wind. that was enough for you to destress.

you sigh, accepting the fact that you'll have to talk to him about this irrational decision of yours whether you wanted to or not. he was always the right, and only person to talk about these things anyway.

sorry it's late tyun

i'm struggling with uni work and i want to take a break, but i want to go for a walk. just letting you know

while awaiting his reply, you swing your satin varsity jacket over your shoulders, stretching your arms through and zipping it up. you pick up a navy blue cap that taehyun left the last time he came over to study with you. his scent all over it, and you had hoped to feel a little safer wearing it on your solo walk.

your phone chimes with the screen glowing, tyun ♡ labelled as the sender and his message read out:

yn, stay there.

i'm coming with you on your walk

i'm almost there

taehyun couldn't help but think the worst if you were to go out by yourself, even if you thought it was okay to do so. he cared about you more than he liked to admit but he's been really good at hiding it from you. maybe a little too good.

however, though he hasn't said it yet, his actions says it all. he thought you would catch on at some point and confront him about it, but he's still testing out the waters. he has an inkling that you have a liking for him, but he doesn't know when he started to realise it. as of recent, he's noticed the little things you do and say, resulting to the tips of his ears burning up. the pink of his ears blends in with his hair, which he was always grateful for because that's one thing he wouldn't be able to hide otherwise.

you hear a knock on your front door and you already know that it's taehyun. he has a specific pattern when he knocks and only you know. it was like a routine, really. from the amount of times you've met up at your student-shared house, it doesn't seem too different compared to the previous times.

your eyes are met with his, just as surprised as each other. his figure was standing on the door step, him wearing a very similar varsity jacket to yours and two americanos in his hand. the sight was almost endearing and you tried your best to stifle your laughter once your eyes met.

"i really appreciate you coming with me tyun," you stand aside to let him walk in, closing the door after him. "you know you didn't have to." but you were beyond ecstatic he did.

to him though, it was a statement that taehyun didn't like hearing from time to time. it's almost as if you were rejecting his efforts and he certainly takes that to heart, you just can't see that through his stoic expressions.

"well, it was a little silly of you to think you can just walk out at night, yn. do you know how dark it is outside?" it was almost as if you were about to receive a lecture from him about safety and the dangers of walking around — in a small neighbourhood, that is.

"aw, you care about me." you say half-heartedly, bumping your shoulder with his, not knowing if it was still worth trying to shoot your shot with him, but would it really hurt to try again?

his expression changes with the littlest movement of his brows raising. not answering your statement, he passes you one of the drinks in his hand.

"i picked this up on my way here. this doesn't mean i like you though." you receive the drink from him, fingers caress against each other lightly and you look up to him, giving him a small smile while you tilt your head to the side a little.

you melted his heart right there and then. he said his last statement with no meaning whatsoever, he just doesn't want you know how much he likes you.

to you, receiving that from taehyun was very him. and you accepted to take that as a positive sign. that perhaps your feelings weren't one sided after all. your mind was slowly adding all these small pieces together one by one and you decided to keep it lowkey for now. you accepted that you will know when he wants to say it explicitly.

"but it's late tyun, americano at night?" one brow raises, confused by the choice of the caffeinated drink.

"yeah because after this walk, i'm going to help you do a little more work. knowing you, you weren't concentrating again, huh?" he takes a sip from his drink after the rhetorical question.

"okay, let's go then? the sooner we go for our walk the sooner we can get back and make a start." you chirp, mirroring his actions before placing it down and linking your arm with his, pulling him up as you walk towards the front door.

he would be lying if he thought that wasn't the cutest thing you've said and done. you knew exactly what to say to have his heart melting in his chest, but with no major reaction he huffs a little laugh under his breath.

"you can keep the cap too. it's cold lately, you don't want to get sick." he pats your head, securing the accessory on your head just before you lock up the door and walk around side by side.

taglist: @bb-eilish @iggynor4 @ericyjun @bluejin0812 @luvsoobs @yeonyeonyeonjun @junniieesbby @kyrkitten  @hyuntaena @day6andetcetera @amethysts-1620 @gorechoi-backup @dainsleif-when-playable @choiwrld @yjusei @feyregels @ahnneyong @potaeto-writes-on-wp @wccycc @lizdevorak  @fairybin @laylasbunbunny @acaiasahi @ttyunz @cha0thicpisces @fairybinie @vatterie @yunkiwii @prodsh00ky @onlyforgaeul (let me know if you want to be added to the taglist or fill in this form)

can't find the tags: @TXT @itmehc @AshxxKook

© boba-beom ; all rights reserved. do not repost, copy, alter or translate in any way or platform.

[huihuiyi]

tips for studying —! from d’s to a’s 🪽 🧠

not doing so well in school lately? having some focusing issues? getting super distracted yet upset at your grades? yeah me to ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡

because of this i’ve been getting some pretty bad grades, but they’ve gone up tremendously and here’s how i did it ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢt꒱₊˚⊹

- focus focus focus !

turn off your phone, notifications put all distractions away! if you have a really hard time focusing try this:

time yourself and see how long it takes for you to get distracted when studying, then when you start to drift off see how long it took. for example i got distracted after twenty minutes then study twenty minutes and take five minute breaks in between and slowly increase the time! works like magic ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

- blurting !

this truly saved me life, after studying your content try blurting! get a piece of paper and write every single thing you know related to the topic or what you’ve learnt then look back at your notes and see what you’ve missed and focus on those topics more. do this as many times as you need to until you understand and remember everything!!

- understand the content !!

remember, studying isn’t just about remembering the content and implementing it onto your test it’s about understanding! that’s what tests are really for , so when you’re studying please don’t rush and just remember key words or diagrams without understanding it. even if it isn’t interesting try and find it interesting it really helps !

- answer and ask questions in class !!

i’m going to be honest this is really hard for me haha but i’ve been starting to ask my teachers for help and answering my friends questions to. this seems really silly but it’s so helpful and even if you get something wrong you’ll be corrected in the end so ask some questions and answer some to <3!

- sleep 💤 !!

this is also related to focus. make sure to get enough sleep, eat healthy and start taking care of yourself. drink lots of water! you hear this everywhere but once i started caring i started to have all this energy and it helped me so much in class so take care of yourself !

- be active in class !!

this is so hard for me omg but still write notes ask questions and stay focused and do really well!

i hope these helped, if they don’t then please ask me and tell me!! i hope everyone who reads this gets amazing grades and as we enter the new year i hope everyone is extremely lucky and happy <33

reblogs are appreciated and please like if you found this helpful 🎀🪽 part 2 coming soon…!

[latin5mamii]

Charly with an American gf during July fourth!!🦅🇺🇸

Traditions- Carlos Alcaraz

|WARNINGS:none!Just fluff

|AUTHOR'S NOTE:love our charlie boy!🇺🇸

|SUMMARY:Your boyfriend really likes the traditions of your country...

Your beloved boyfriend, was ready for a break after an intense season. The Fourth of July was the perfect opportunity, and you, had invited him to spend it in your hometown of Austin, Texas. He was eager to experience the holiday and explore the festivities with you.

You waited at the airport, holding a sign that read “Welcome, Charlie!” As soon as he saw you, Carlos’ face lit up, and he hurried over, pulling you into a tight hug.

“¡Hola, mi amor!” he exclaimed, spinning you around. “I’ve missed you so much!”

“Welcome to America, Charlie! Ready for some Fourth of July fun?” you asked, grinning.

“Absolutely! Let’s go!” His eyes sparkled with excitement as he took your hand.

The first stop was a popular food truck park. Charlie looked around in awe at the variety of options.

“This is incredible,” he said, scanning the menus. “What should I try first?”

“Definitely the brisket tacos,” you suggested. “And maybe a sweet tea to wash it down.”

Charlie eagerly followed your lead, and soon the two of you were enjoying a delicious, messy meal on a picnic bench. He took a big bite of his taco and his eyes widened.

“This is amazing!” he exclaimed. “Why don’t we have this in Spain?”

After lunch, you took him to a nearby lake for some kayaking. Charlie was game for anything, his competitive spirit shining through as he paddled ahead, challenging you to keep up. You laughed as he playfully splashed you, and the two of you raced across the water, enjoying the warm Texas sun.

“¡Vamos, cariño! You can’t beat me!” he teased, laughing.

“Oh, we’ll see about that, Charlie!” you retorted, paddling harder.

In the afternoon, you headed to a friend’s rooftop party downtown. Charlie mingled effortlessly, charming everyone with his stories and enthusiasm. He even joined a game of cornhole, quickly picking up the rules and showing off his athletic skills. You couldn’t help but smile, watching him fit in so seamlessly.

“Eres increíble, mi vida,” you whispered as he sank another shot.

He grinned, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “Gracias, mi amor. But you’re the one who makes everything perfect.”

As the sun began to set, you led Charlie to a perfect spot to watch the city’s fireworks. You spread out a blanket on the grass, and he lay down beside you, his head resting on your shoulder.

“Thank you for today,” he said softly, tracing patterns on your arm with his fingers. “I’ve had so much fun.”

“I’m glad,” you replied, squeezing his hand. “The night’s not over yet.”

The fireworks started with a loud boom, and Charlie’s eyes widened with wonder. The sky lit up with vibrant colors, and he turned to you, his face illuminated by the bursts of light.

“This is incredible,” he whispered.

You both lay there, watching the display in comfortable silence. When the finale came, Charlie sat up, pulling you close for a kiss as the sky exploded in a final blaze of color.

Later, back at your place, you sat on the porch with a couple of beers, talking about everything and nothing. Charlie leaned back in his chair, looking relaxed and happy.

“I could get used to this,” he said, smiling at you. “Austin, the Fourth of July, and especially you.”

You laughed. “I’m glad you had a good time. We’ll have to make this a tradition.”

Charlie nodded. “Absolutely. Here’s to many more.”

As the night grew late, you both headed inside, tired but content. Snuggling up on the couch, Charlie wrapped his arms around you, kissing your forehead.

“Te quiero mucho, mi vida,” he murmured, his voice filled with affection.

“I love you too, Charlie,” you replied, feeling the warmth of his embrace.Today was incredible and you couldn't wait to visit Spain with him and know his traditions; in that moment, you wish to stay with him forever because he's the only person that can make your days absolutely perfect.

[drawingnovels]

LNDS: Kids with MC pt. 2!

Hello hello again! Some of you may have seen my previous post, so now it’s time for the rest of them!! Of course, I’d like to once again thank @goldenstring6123 for their post about the boys as parents; it inspired me to draw and make my own headcanons. Their post mentions Zayne and MC adopting two kids which makes so much sense to me and Xavier and his son… Precious!!! Their writing is amazing and the rest of their content is chef’s kiss so go check out their stuff if you haven’t already!!

MC x Zayne

The older brother has excellent penmanship, a lot better than MC’s and his sister’s

Has the best grades in the school, seen as the model student

He’s a popular guy, friendly with everyone and always lends a hand, but doesn’t let any outing with friends interrupt any time with his family (his sister has to reassure him that yes, it’s fine to miss one of her practices)

He often likes to help whoever is cooking by cutting or washing vegetables and other things

He likes cats, but cats don’t like him

Whenever Zayne is seen eating something sweet, he asks his father how much he’s had (Zayne: “… Some things are only meant to be between my dentist and I.”)

Helps his sister with studying and has amazing lot of patience

The younger sister is a rising star in ice skating!

Whenever she visits Zayne with MC and her brother, she always leaps into his arms, even when he’s having a conversation with his colleagues; his coworkers see firsthand how sweet and fatherly Zayne can be…

She has poor eyesight and uses contact lenses; doesn’t like wearing her glasses very much

She’s Zayne’s dealer for sweets and is happy to be rewarded with a loving head pat

Often asks others to tie her hair up for her, Zayne is really good at braiding now

LOVES bandages that have cute designs on them and puts them on her fingers even without any injuries, causes Zayne to worry before being told it’s for fashion

Likes to go shopping with MC, whether it be for fun stuff or regular things needed around the house

MC x Xavier

Has to be stopped from getting all the plushies from the arcade, though he does give a lot of them out to other arcade goers

One of his most prized possessions is a telescope that MC gifted him, he often brings his parents to look at the stars with him

Animals LOVE him; there’s been many times when he’s been approached by deer or rabbits on camping trips

A surprisingly good cook, thinks its funny that Xavier can’t

Sees Xavier napping and often joins him; MC has many pictures of the two of them together

Likes to take photos, but the subject matter seems to be pretty random (“Little star, why did you take a photo of the back of my head?”)

Often has mismatched socks

Reads comics/manga, but doesn’t watch a lot of tv

Has a stuffed rabbit sewn from his childhood blanket, it still presides on his bed as he grows older

Likes to wear casual clothing, isn’t too happy when he has to wear a suit for an event

If brought to headquarters, wants to help everyone by bringing them snacks or drinks; everyone just thinks its cute to see him run around

Calls Tara “auntie”

Of course, when he does start to train, he shows a lot of promise

Kitty Cards champion

I’ve had a lot of fun drawing and writing these! These are also kind of specific, since I was thinking about my MC ^^ Thanks for reading!

[celestialvoyeur]

So, this time last year I was thinking about what I wanted to change in 2023.

The one thing I settled on was that I wanted to read more. I’ve always enjoyed reading but have had less time in recent years to do so, and even when I regained a bit more time to myself I was out of the habit of reaching for a book.

So I started off the year mostly listening to audio books when driving or doing things around the house and it rekindled my love of stories. I then started on e-books and would find myself reaching for my kindle or iPad during down time rather than turning on the TV.

In July I followed a random link on social media and suddenly I found myself on AO3 for the first time. I don’t even remember how it came about but suddenly I was reading my very first fan fic (‘The Promised Land’ by @gunstreet ) and learning that there was something called ‘slash fiction’ and a Star Trek sub-fandom based around the ‘Spirk’ relationship.

I’ve been a life long Trekkie, but discovering Spirk and fan fiction was like a missing piece clicking into place. Suddenly I was absolutely devouring stories, delighting in a whole new realm of Star Trek content.

Well…it changed EVERYTHING!

I did a massive TOS rewatch and for the first time ever I really, thoroughly enjoyed it, because it finally made SENSE when viewed through the lens of Spirk. I was raised in the era of TNG so I’ve never been massively fussed on TOS before. Now though I absolutely adore our boys and got so much more out of the episodes.

From there I kept exploring AO3 and finally found my way on to Tumblr and discovered this amazing community of likeminded individuals. Everyone has been so welcoming, supportive and kind, it’s been really lovely to start getting to know some of you.

As we close out 2023, the final count is as follows. I’ve read 65 novels, 88 novellas and 139 short stories. (28 of the novels were audio or e-books and everything else has been fan fiction I’ve read since July)

So I met my original goal of reading more, but as a wonderful bonus I found a new passion, a new community, discovered new talents (I’ve been loving creating my art) and have made some new friends.

Thank you so much to all of you for being part of this journey. Whether you’ve been liking and reblogging, commenting or chatting with me in DMs, I really appreciate you.

And a special thanks to all the lovely writers and artists creating ever more Spirk fan fics and art for me to enjoy.

Sending you all massive hugs and very best wishes for a happy and prosperous 2024. Xx

[builtbybrokenbells]

t’s fic rec list

well hello everyone 😁 i think it’s about time i put out some love, and this is the best way i know how. below I’ve compiled a list of my most favourite fics (which is definitely not complete). these are just a couple off the top of my head from absolutely fantastic writers that have not only blown me away, but even inspired me to write some myself. i will be adding to this as time goes on, but i do not have enough time to read as much as i would like, so bear with me.

Josh Kiszka

Drift - @gretavangroupie

Purple Haze - @gretavanlace

Jake Kiszka

Cream & Sugar - @sacredthefran

Covet - @jakeyt

Little Wing - @daisyful-gvf

Imperfect Moments - @abeautylives

Make Her Happy - @gretavanfleetposts (i think abt this fic all of the time btw)

Sore Loser - @sparrowofthedawnsworld (one of my favs of all time)

Wilt - @gretavangroupie

The Ripe and The Ruin - @gretavangroupie & @gretavanmoon

Sam Kiszka

Burn - @gretavangroupie

Danny Wagner

Four weddings and a funeral - @hearts-hunger

Struck - @gretavangroupie

Twins

Poppins - @gretavanlace

Janny

Valor - @gretavangroupie & @gretavanmoon

to be continued! im definitely missing a whole lot more, but for now this is what I’ve got. thank you to all of the fantastic writers who put out such amazing content 🫶🏻

[beastranpo]

please stop calling dazai/ranpo ‘souheki’

I posted this originally on twitter, but it unfortunately didn’t get a lot of traction, so I figured I’d post it on here as well in hopes it would get a little bit more traction and I apologize in advance for the fact I will be ‘clogging tags’ so to speak to get the word out.

I generally don't like to flood tags but people who tag Dazai/Ranpo (also known as Daran/Ranzai) as ‘souheki’, please don't. Yes, it is their team name in the japanese version of 55 minutes, but it not unique to BSD the same way ‘soukoku’ is for Dazai and Chuuya.

'Souheki’ in japanese is commonly used to describe an unbeatable pair or duo/matchless people, alternatively referred to as 'two treasures' or the lit translation 'double jade' as the japanese for heki is the chinese for jade.

This being said: MANY OTHER SERIES' USE THIS NAME FOR CHARA DUOS!! If you look up souheki, especially in Japanese, you will find everything from the Lan Brothers and Lan Juniors fom MDZS, Ferdibert from FE3H, Haikaveh from Genshin Impact, and even Fukumori FROM BSD. It does not belong exclusively to Dazai and Ranpo, so you are making the search all the more difficult for everyone involved, and you are burying and missing out on amazing, pre-existing content of them that has been around for almost ten years now.

I’ve been a big shipper of Dazai and Ranpo for that same amount of time, and the ship name has always only ever been Daran/Ranzai. The JP fans have never changed it, because ship names and team names are not equal or interchangeable. (Similarly, content intended to be shippy for them is tagged as Dachuu/Chuuda, never SKK.)

Additionally, soukoku was introduced the second Dazai and Chuuya were announced as a duo in bsd. The term souheki towards Dazai and Ranpo was not mentioned at all throughout the series until 55 minutes, which wasn’t written until 4 years after bsd was created and Dazai/Ranpo already had a ship name. (I’ve been here since 2013, trust me it has only ever been this.)

Once a ship name is created, it is not changed, especially in the japanese fandom where we borrow the ship names. (dachuu, kunizai, akuatsu as examples)

The JP fans never even brought much attention to the souheki concept aside from how it catered to the ship itself. The ship name(s) has not changed for ten years.

For further comparison, this is how the google search looks when you search soukoku / double black:

And this is what happens when you search souheki / ‘double jade’ ‘twin jade’:

This has reached so far that even Japanese fans are seeing this and being confused because, again, ‘souheki’ is not unique to just Dazai and Ranpo!! And it has been used for other ships!

If you are posting content for them, please please PLEASE tag it as daran/randaza/ranzai/etc. Please stop using souheki and muddying the waters to find content of these two.

if you want to find content for them, these are their tags in jp:

乱太 / らんだざ / randaza or ranzai (top ranpo content ONLY)

太乱 / だざらん / dazaran or daran (top dazai content ONLY)

太乱太 (content that can be translated either way / switch)

Please keep in mind that ships are tagged accordingly for who tops/bottoms or is the one who may have the more confident or dominant personality in jp fandom to filter content and those who dislike one dynamic will not be exposed to it. This is not an argument over top/bottom discourse. Jp fans do not have that problem. When you write/read a fic with top A, their actions/thoughts/etc will differ greatly from reading bottom A content 9/10 times. Some people have a preferred character interpretation like everyone else and are much more consistent with filtering.

While I am certainly happy daran/ranzai are finally canonically confirmed to be the agency's 'unbeatable duo/two precious treasures' (souheki), it is misleading and quite frankly incorrect to claim this is their ship name and to please keep tagging them as daran/ranzai so older content doesn't get brushed under the rug and completely ignored/missed altogether in this attempt to give them a 'special name'. They dont need to combat skk. They are unique and special as they are!

Please give attention to the content made by fans of Dazai/Ranpo fans that have existed for a long time now! We promise there is actually a TON of content, it is not lacking whatsoever. You’re just looking under the wrong name!

As a really big fan of Dazai and Ranpo for a very long time, who is friends with a majority of the Dazai/Ranpo fanartists in Japan and has spent a concerningly scary amount of money for content of them over the years, I hope you will consider this advice. I really want fans of Dazai/Ranpo to come together, enjoy content old and new, and make more in the future together.  (〃＞＿＜;〃) 

Please share this around if you could!

[thiswaytwoinfinity]

Emma's Epic Multi-Fandom Rec List: Oscar Isaac Edition

Work and life and everything took over for a little bit, but I am back with *part 2* of my massive fanfic recommendation list, because good lord I read so much fanfic I have a problem.

I do my best to reblog as much as possible but sometimes I miss it so this is my attempt to make up for that and give all of the amazing creators on here the credit they deserve. Thank you all so much for sharing all of your work with us. This year has been a long and difficult one for me, especially mental health wise, and being able to escape into these stories has been so valuable and important to me. 

If you read anything on here that you like, please reblog and/or comment on these pics to show the creators some love! 

AN IMPORTANT NOTE: While not everything listed here will include smut, many of these authors have 18+ blogs. Please, please, please respect their boundaries and DO NOT INTERACT WITH THEM/THEIR CONTENT IF YOU ARE A MINOR.

Stories marked with ❤️‍🔥 contain NSFW content

Moon Knight: 

The Best Kept Secrets ❤️‍🔥by @melodygatesauthor — First of all, Mel is the *queen* of Oscar Isaac-fandom fic, especially anything about our beloved Moon Boys. She’s got stuff for every genre, every mood, every random plot bunny — she’s also created some of the most fun and original character.ai bots — but I have such a soft spot for this fic, a dad’s best friend fic where each chapter is a different member of the system. 

A Bit Dodgy ❤️‍🔥by @melodygatesauthor — another brilliant one from Melody, featuring professor! Steven falling in love with a student, Jake being protective (and hot) and Marc learning to let down his walls around people. I will genuinely be a little sad when it’s all wrapped up because I’ve loved this journey. 

Cherry Pie ❤️‍🔥by @whatthefishh and @melodygatesauthor — I’m trying not to just rec people’s entire masterlists but these two make it SO DIFFICULT. Anyway, as someone with a soft spot for Steven (is it obvious yet?) this is a particularly steamy and surprisingly sweet fic about his first time. It’s written in such a brilliant way that you can just picture all of the desperate, delicious faces that Steven is making throughout and it’s just … it’s a 10/10 y’all. 

Spoiled Rotten by @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction — MARC. MARC MY BEAUTIFUL, EMOTIONALLY GUARDED BELOVED I love when Marc gets to be soft and this was such a beautifully written, real-feeling story about his relationship insecurities and his desire to be treated like the precious gift he is. If the universe could just give me one chance to spoil this beautiful man … 

Personal Time ❤️‍🔥by @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction — Look, we have already established my love for Steven Grant. I want to hug him and kiss him and let him tell me about Egyptian gods and eat vegan burritos with him and cuddle him all night. But this story? This story makes me also want to ruin him. 

The Moon Boys + Where They Like to Put It ❤️‍🔥by @ivystoryweaver — These little blurbs are pure filth and I would like them tattooed on my eyelids so that I can forever be haunted by them. There is a surprising amount of characterization packed into such a short package and that takes an incredible amount of talent. 

On My Knees ❤️‍🔥by @ivystoryweaver — Look. If Steven Grant came to me, begging on his knees (literally!) for his job back, I too would fold immediately. This two-parter is also great because the first story is pure fluff (and pining for Steven, which, i can relate) and the second brings all of the tension and anticipation to a head with some genuinely smoking hot smut. I’d also like to give a shoutout to Ivy’s Oblivious Roommate Headcanons Series, which is honestly making my obsession with everyone’s favorite gift shoppist a little worse in the best way. 

driver!jake and rich girl!reader ❤️‍🔥by @campingwiththecharmings — THIS FIC. I love the slow building tension, the gorgeous image of Jake smoking outside his limo during a night out, the SMUT. It made my brain melt in the best way, possible. 

Lessons in Touch by @marc-spectorr— Ugh, the PINING. There’s only one part to this so far and I am already so obsessed with it that I’m recommending it. I cannot wait to see where this one goes because I just am already so in love with this Steven and their relationship. 

With The Lights Out ❤️‍🔥by @moonknightly — Jake is, understandably, often characterized as the sexy, seductive one in the system so it’s such a treat to read a virgin!Jake fic. This one is so lovely, a perfect mix of vulnerable and steamy while still feeling so true to him. Basically, I love when Jake gets flustered and I need more of it. 

Friendly favors ❤️‍🔥by @runa-falls — (Not so) unrequited pining between Steven and his best friend and the ways they begin to reveal their feelings for one another by … “helping each other out” with their “needs.” Steamy and sweet in equal measure and it just makes me want to scream in the best possible way. 

Making Trouble ❤️‍🔥by @juneknight — Possessive!Marc owns me, completely. This and its sequel (where Jake gets his revenge) are two of the hottest, most wonderful smut fics that I have read in this fandom and good lord, it breaks my brain every single time I read it. juneknight is also the creator of the mind-meltingly sexy Dorm Room Marc series which is also *chef’s kiss* 

Miguel O’Hara (Spider-Verse) 

Halo ❤️‍🔥by @missdictatorme — One of the most interesting Miguel concepts I’ve ever read: Reader is Miguel’s new AI assistant (complete with hologram body) and you ask for the chance to design your own appearance. The slow build of the relationship between the pair is so fun to read and the tension between them as Miguel realizes that their relationship with one another is … unorthodox is amazing. I think about this story all the time. 

Something New ❤️‍🔥by @runa-falls — Hoooooo boy. I recommend you read this one in front of a fan or the AC because good lord this is hot. 

Decadent ❤️‍🔥by @ivystoryweaver — This one has it all: gorgeously steamy smut, the tension of a slow-burn relationship build, a hint of angst and a mystery at the center of it all: is Miguel a vampire? Or something else? Can he be cured? It’s so good and I honestly give a little squeal every time I see there’s a new chapter out. 

Punch-Out Love by @astroboots— Miguel O’Hara boxing AU? Hell yeah. This one is exciting and tense and thrilling and I was invested from the first sentence. Cici also co-wrote the iconic Every You, Every Me, which I am ashamed to say that I only just started reading but it is just as incredible as everyone said. Her stuff more than lives up to all of the hype. 

Monster ❤️‍🔥by @writefightandflightclub — Oh, you thought you’d make it through a Miguel O’Hara rec list without some size kink? This is insanely hot and a little dark and so, so good. Heed the warnings, but if this is your thing, trust me, it will sit in your brain forever. 

Assorted Oscar Characters 

Bloom For Me (Santiago Garcia) ❤️‍🔥by @whatthefishh — The Triple Frontier Regency AU that you didn’t know you needed. Trust me on this. 

Oxford Comma (Rydal Keener) ❤️‍🔥by @whatthefishh — *The* definitive Rydal fic, in my opinion. There is something about the way that Mona writes Rydal that makes him so irresistible, so charming and easy to fall for despite how much you want to resist (or maybe punch) him that I think captures the essence of the character so well. 

How (Nathan Bateman) ❤️‍🔥by @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction — Set post-Ex Machina, this lovely (and steamy) fic delves into how Nathan deals with the aftermath of the situation with Ava as well as him learning to let another person (not an android!) into his life. It’s my favorite take on a softer version of Nathan and I just adore it. (Also for more amazing Oscar-character content, Fen’s Kinktober masterlist is *chef’s kiss)

Three Years (Nathan Bateman) ❤️‍🔥by @youvebeenlivingfictional — My favorite Nathan fic, ever. The tension between him and the reader, the underlying questions about whether their whole relationship and dynamic is the result of genuine feelings on his end or just him manipulating people, the added angst of Reader’s dynamic with their friend and *her* crush on Nathan — it’s just so good. 

Somebody to Love (Richard Alonzo Munoz) ❤️‍🔥by @writefightandflightclub — Not just one of my all-time favorite Oscar Isaac fics, but one of my all-time favorite fics period. As I have previously gushed, this is a gorgeous, romantic, slow-build of a story written with such stunning imagery and poetry and with little nods to an already-familiar relationship that just makes their ultimate relationship even more swoon-worthy and perfect. And the smut is 10/10, five stars, completely mind-melting in all of the best ways. I love it, I love it, I love it. 

[regretfulcorrine]

Heeey everyone! So little explanation as to where I’ve been— I kinda took a dive for a while 🥲 Really sorry about that! ((tw// mentions of mental health and mushy gushy emotional stuff under the cut))

In terms of content, I’m sure y’all have seen my Hazbin spiral kinda take a front seat for a bit but I miss my Drarry boys. They have infected my heart too much for me to part from them for too long 😔 And I may or may not have joined/finished a special project filled with amazing people coming out soon involving them 👀

So on Insta and here you’ll see me dive back into my love for them more than on the bird app! I love the amazing people/Drarry artists I found on Twitter, but it’s also a very big place for the fandom to just hit the fan unfortunately 😭 And it’s small enough to where unlike a bigger fandom, it can be hard to avoid. Doesn’t help the anxiety so for now at least I post my boys more here. I honestly wanna just post more on here in general!

I of course will still post my Hazbin stuff but it’ll be just more of a mix on here in terms of what I draw is all 💃 Thank you for still being here 💖

I’ve never really mentioned my health too much before but I have pretty bad crippling anxiety. It’s hard to do a lot of stuff (go outside, talk to people, etc.) and it even at some points has affected me physically. Whether that’s me worrying myself sick or being so paranoid I don’t even wanna really do anything besides watch like silly videos. And because of that I’ve only been really able to focus on one platform and that for some reason just happened to be Twitter (which in hindsight may have…contributed to the anxiety due to the nature of Twitter….ANYWAYS) I have meds and have finally decided to participate in regular therapy, but of course there’s always those breakout episodes!

Idk if anyone else has this thing but it had been such a long time I was afraid. That so much time had passed people were mad for some reason or there would be issues 😭 BUT I’m very happy to have finally just bucked up enough to come back, if you’ll have me!

Ive really missed you guys, and the second I opened this app and decided to post it was literally like a breath of fresh air. It’s weird to say in our great year of 2024 that Tumblr of all places has become calming but here we are lmao

Thank you for reading my rambles and excuses I’m gonna make it up to y’all with some good old fashion boys kissing 💖

[lavalampstealer]

I want to make an appreciation post for the IEYTD tumblr community because its not talked about enough. I love you guys :)

When I first got into these games a few months ago, I had no idea how to find other people or content creators. I started out on insta where I had trouble finding other people and it was really lonely. The discord was/is better and there are some cool people on there as well but about 70% of the new people who were joining were just looking for the release date (it’s gotten better recently and there are great creators there but its more focused on the games themselves than the characters/story). Then because of a friend, I tried tumblr and my god I love it here.

There’s tons more art and people here than I thought there would be and I cannot stress enough how awesome it is seeing everyone’s takes on characters. The Phoenixes and Handlers in particular are my favorites because its like I get to see a little bit of the artist in Phoenix, and who doesn’t love the funny, quippy British voice? They’re so diverse, I love how something as small as a little scar has a whole backstory for it. I find it fascinating to see how many people see Phoenix’s color as red (no hate at all, I love them!). Not to mention the posts about the Fabricator, Juniper, Zor, Solaris, Prism, etc, I love all of these characters and the nuances in their personalities.

The fics I’ve seen are so interesting, shout out to all the writers you guys are AMAZING!! I’ve got to get better at sitting down to actually write my own but some of my favorites on Ao3 are Red String, Spying the Liar, Rising From the Ashes, or so to Speak, Issue is Spelt with a “U” (And an “I” too), Such Lovely Feathers on Your Turncoat, and last but ABSOLUTELY not least, all of Calivide’s works. Seriously I love all of these, I’m such a sucker for angst, fluff, and good writing. If I’ve missed any other good ones or if you have your own, PLEASE reblog or comment or ping me or share them in some way, I’d love to check them out :)

To all of the text posts and people who discuss the silly goobers with me, I love you. To all the people who analyze or make funny shitposts about the characters, I love you (shout out to @/calivide’s in-depth analysis of Juniper I want to use it as reference for something ITS SO DETAILED AND ACCURATE MY GOD I LOVE IT). To all the people who read my ramblings about characters, I love you. To all the artists, I love you. To all the writers, I love you. To all the people who reblog each other’s stuff, I love you. To all the people helping to keep this little fandom of spies going, I love you.

I haven’t been here long but I’ve felt so appreciated and welcomed, and I can only hope that I’ve gotten the chance to make other people feel the same way. Please never hesitate to ping me or leave an ask if you ever want to talk about these games, I’d love to chat <33

I love you all and I’m making you all grilled cheeses

(me whenever someone likes one of my posts (i cant say it enough all of you are so sweet and make me wanna implode /pos))

[theladyofdeath]

Lady Death's Lover {V}

Lady Death's Lover Masterlist & Summary

19th Century Period AU Nesta x Cassian Secret Affair / Enemies to Lovers / Forbidden Romance Fanfiction / Characters from Sarah J Maas / ACOTAR Based on a prompt sent in by anonymous

A/N: This chapter is slightly NSFW. No one under the age of 18 should be reading this story. Thank you to everyone who reads, comments, likes, and/or reblogs! I'm glad you're enjoying the story and hope you continue to do so! x

TW: marital abuse, sexual content, language, depression, alcohol abuse

This story is for readers 18+. Mature readers only. Content should not be read by anyone under 18.

Dear Emerie,

I hope you’re enjoying your time away. Just know that we miss you here in the city, but I hope your travels are everything you want them to be. I cannot wait for you to return and tell Gwyn and I all about your thrilling endeavors. She is convinced that you have found someone in which your soul cannot live without, but I have assured her that it is nothing more than a foreign fling.

I cannot wait to see who is right!

To answer your very thoughtful questions, I am doing just fine. You know how Tomas is, but he is busy with his business and I find peace in the distance that brings between us. I have found myself wondering one thing — what is it like to attend a ball as an unmarried lady? We used to have little get-togethers in my village, of course, but nothing as grand as the balls in Velaris. I used to love to dance and each time I attend one of these gatherings I cannot help but daydream of dancing once again. Of course, it is not common for a married lady to dance, and Tomas would never. It is a lovely thought though, isn’t it? I know you are content with your life as a spinster (which I admire), but even you love a good turn about the dancefloor. 

Perhaps one day I will be privileged enough to just get a tease of what it is like.

Write back soon. Be safe. We miss you!

With Love,

Nesta 

Nesta

I hate luncheons. Especially women-only luncheons. The only perk is that I don’t have to attend them with Tomas, but that is by far the only perk. All of these women think they’re better than me and each other. Every one of them has something shoved so far up their asses that I’m surprised they can still walk. 

They’re all talking about their husbands, how amazing they are, how perfect their lives are, but I can’t seem to contribute to the conversation. I may be forced to be here by my husband but I’m not about to praise his name. 

As I sip my lemonade, I let my mind drift back to where it’s been, repeatedly, constantly, for the past week. Ever since he left my home, ever since I ran into him outside just after midnight, the image of him has been branded into my mind. It doesn’t matter if I’m awake or asleep, I can see his face, his smile, the intense look in his eyes as he looks at me. I can hear him saying my name, voice low and rough, like no man has ever said it before. 

I’ve dreamt of him, fell asleep every night to these fantasies that I can’t control. 

They started off seemingly innocent, the two of us dancing, touching tentatively, doing nothing more than following the same steps that everyone knows, getting lost in the music as we stare into one another’s eyes. That innocence didn’t last long; it quickly escalated. 

Last night had me writhing in my bed, needing friction, needing release, needing something far greater than what my fingers could offer. I worked myself roughly, imagining my fingers were his, imagining his cock was hard and inside me, pounding into me again and again, recklessly. 

I was no virgin when I married Tomas, and although he would claim otherwise, my husband in full denial, that means I know what I like. Laying with Tomas is a chore, one that I have never enjoyed, one that never lasts long or gives me any sort of satisfaction. I know what I like in bed, what I like from a man, and I have no doubt that a man like Lord Cassian can give me just that.

Not that it would ever happen.

Of course. I am a lady, the wife of a renowned lord, and a woman of high society would never act so immorally. 

I can dream, though. I can let those unholy thoughts fill my mind, imagine a man like Lord Cassian exploring every inch of my bare body while I fall into a state of utter ecstasy. 

“Lady Nesta?”

My eyes snap up and meet the Lady Cresseida’s from across from me. Her smile is sly and I’m tempted to match it with one of my own, but I don’t.

“Are you well? You look a little flush,” she continues, mockingly. 

“I am feeling a little under the weather,” I confess. A complete lie, but if they’re asking, I may as well take advantage of it. “Perhaps I’ll take my leave.” 

They all nod in farewell, but I know that none of them care. I, however, am overjoyed at the excuse to leave. I make haste, wasting no time as I rise to my feet and stride out of the home in which the luncheon is being held. 

The second I’m in my carriage, I call for my driver to take me home.

The long way.

But, it’s always the long way. I stopped asking a long time ago. Now, they just take me home the long way when I’m by myself. They just think I enjoy the scenery, find peace in a ride by myself in the quiet. Or, perhaps they know the truth, that I loathe my husband and hate being in his presence, in his home, our home, and they just keep quiet about it.

I wonder what the help talks about when they’re alone, when they’re in their own quarters, far away from us. I wonder if they truly hate me, if they hate Tomas. I wonder what they think of our marriage, if they know it’s as awful as it truly is.

I’ll never know. I’ll never ask. Either way, I’m grateful that they drive me the long way home.

As soon as the wheels begin wobbling down the cobblestone, I lean back against the bench and close my eyes. The velvet lined seats are soft enough to relax on, and the moment I’m comfortable, I let my mind wander. 

Back to him.

His hands.

His cock.

I know I’m pitiful, know that these fantasies mean absolutely nothing and the reality of my life, my marriage, is still in shambles. But they’re a small reprieve, because if I cannot control my reality, at least I can control my thoughts to a certain extent. 

Those thoughts drift to Lord Cassian.

We don’t know each other and we surely never will. Perhaps that’s what makes him the perfect candidate for these fantasies, for these wandering thoughts. He’s a stranger, one that I’ve gotten a feel for, certainly, but still a stranger. 

I wonder what he looks like nude. I’ve tried to imagine it many times, have pictured what I thought, but I imagine it doesn’t compare to the reality of his body. He’s muscular, of that I have no doubt, and the part that matters most is long, thick, and wielded like a weapon. 

I don’t even realize that I’m inching up my skirts until my hand has made its way into my undergarment and the tip of my finger grazes my throbbing clit. I circle it slowly, biting my lip to keep myself silent. I’ve touched myself more in the last week than I have in the last decade but I have no shame. 

It’s hard to feel shame when your senses are alive and thriving. 

Sex is not bad. It is not a sin to feel desire, although my husband would claim otherwise. In fact, he claims that women should find no pleasure whatsoever when it comes to sex, which seems to be the reason why the focus is never on me when he visits my room. No, he does what he likes until he gets off, having no idea how to truly please a woman.

Lord Cassian — the man I have made up in my mind this last week?

He knows how to please a woman.

He knows how to leave her gasping, screaming, how to make the eyes roll back in her head. He knows how to make her back arch, how to make her toes curl, how to make her cry out for the gods, the Mother, the Cauldron. He knows how to make that little feeling, wild and unruly, go mad in the pit of a woman’s stomach until she can no longer contain herself, until her heart is bursting out of her chest and she’s seeing stars. 

He knows how to make a woman find release and he doesn’t stop until she’s found it. 

I grip the plush velvet seat cushion as I squeeze my legs together, trapping my hand within. We hit a bump in the road and I jolt, but it only adds to the madness that I’m currently drowning myself in. 

My other hand joins my first and I pump two fingers deep inside of me, working in tandem with the one still making joyous circles over that sensitive bundle of nerves. A long string of words falls from my mouth in a devout whisper, words that would bring shame to my husband and his name, words that no lady should voice but I cannot help it.

His face is in my mind, his smile unfurling behind my closed lids. His body is bare and his hands are roaming my body, every stripped inch of me. I call out his name and he urges me on, thriving on my indecent vocalization. 

Within the confines of my coach, I throw a hand over my mouth to muffle what I cannot control while I find my release with those loyal, fervent fingers of mine. I keep moving until my body grows limp, that intensity that makes me feel alive fading into nothingness yet again. I smooth out my skirts and lean back against the bench, fighting to catch my breath. 

I wonder if my driver suspects anything but find that I don’t care. No one would ever dare tell Tomas, would not dare anger the Lord Mandray. 

No one would be that idiotic. It would be a death sentence, the messenger every bit at fault as I.

I can’t help myself. I laugh.

I break into such a fit of laughter that I fear I’m going insane, but oh, it feels so good to laugh! 

I laugh until tears are rolling down my cheeks and my sides begin to hurt, and it’s only when I collect myself that I realize it was the first time I had laughed in a long, long while. It feels good to laugh, as mad as I may seem. There is something utterly triumphant about feeling pure, demented joy. 

Staring out the window, I watch Velaris pass by as we make our way back to House Mandray. By the time we arrive, all of my wonderful, demented joy has faded.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Cassian

“What do you mean you’re not going?”

We’re sitting around Azriel’s dining room table, feasting on roasted chicken, when my brothers decide to insert themselves into my personal business, yet again.

“I’ve been to two balls this season.” I sigh, stabbing a carrot. “I don’t need to attend another.”

Azriel and Rhys look at one another, concern written plainly on their faces, but I pretend I don’t see it.

“Besides,” I continue, “none of the ladies have caught my eye this season. It is a waste of time.”

“But you love to dance,” Azriel says, the same time Rhys says, “but you love to drink.” 

It’s true. I adore both of those things, but I know where the next ball is being held, and even I am not courageous enough to step foot into the Mandray’s house again.

Nothing untoward happened with Nesta and I in the garden, but it was inappropriate, nonetheless. I was a little tipsy after my closed door meeting with Tomas, but I still had my wits about me. I know that I should not have been alone with Nesta, but I couldn’t stop myself.

From the moment I saw her under the starlight, I was gone. 

“I thought your meeting with Tomas went well,” Rhys pushes, buttering his roll. The same roll that he’d already been buttering for over a minute.

“It did,” I say, and leave it at that.

They, however, will not leave it at that.

“Then this has to do with the wife,” Azriel says, mouth full of potatoes.

It’s only the three of us.

Manners be damned.

Across from him, Rhys’ eyes light up and swivel back in my direction. “Ah, the wife. Lady Mandray. Did you come on to her again?”

I drop my knife and fork with a clatter and rub my temples. “No, I did not flirt with Nesta.”

“Nesta?” They both repeat in unison, and I instantly realize my mistake.

“Lady Mandray,” I correct myself using her formal title, “and I simply do not see what she has to do with my absence.”

“You have always been a terrible liar,” Rhys quips, clearing his plate. “But, if you wish to live in a state of deception, so be it.” 

“I’m not—” I take a deep breath before I can let my frustration take control. I’ve always been prone to anger, as much as I loathe the fact. “I’m not lying. I simply do not wish to attend a party when I can be home, working.”

Drinking in solitude is more like it, but that’s beside the point. 

“Work is all well and good but you must allow yourself to have fun every now and again,” Azriel says, his tone as skeptical as Rhysand’s. “Besides, haven’t we established that it’s about time you marry?”

“If it’s time I marry, it’s time we all marry,” I grumble. 

Azriel suddenly looks horrified while Rhys chokes on his wine. I know that neither of them are ready to be a husband, although we are all quickly approaching our third decade of life. Rhys sometimes pretends that he is, but when it comes down to it, I cannot even imagine him with any of the women of the ton. 

No young lady could handle Rhysand.

Azriel is different. I cannot tell if he’ll ever marry. It’s not that he has never been in a relationship or that he is incapable of love. He loves stronger than perhaps anyone I have ever known. I’ve always felt that is the very reason why he keeps himself so guarded. The only people he’s ever truly let get to know him are me, Rhys, Mor, and Amren. There was a time when he pined after Mor, but that was so long ago. 

“I am perfectly content as I am,” I go on, trying to convince them or myself I am not certain. I pick up my silverware yet again and make another attempt at finishing my supper. My carrots have gone cold. I hate cold carrots. 

“Back to the ball,” Rhys says, sitting back in his chair and stretching out his legs. “You’re going.”

“I am not going.”

“If you’re not going, then we do not go. If we do not go, we will be sad.”

“Your sadness is none of my concern.”

“Now you’re just being mean.” Rhys pours himself another glass of wine while Azriel’s eyes swivel between us. “If this is about Lady—”

“Lady Mandray is none of my concern.” Perhaps I should have waited for his sentence to end before mine began, but I have never been good at holding my tongue. 

“If she is none of your concern, then you will join us,” he says, smoothly, and he knows he’s already won before I even begin to resign. “We will drink their champagne and dance across their perfectly polished floors until sunrise while we are still young enough to do so.” 

Azriel finally finishes his third plate of food and sits back with a groan as I sigh. “You’re intolerable.” 

“He takes that as a compliment, you know,” Azriel murmurs, and I’m afraid he’s correct. There’s always been a darkness to Rhysand. Not an evilness, never evil, but a certain…edge. A certain slyness, a manipulation of sorts. In another life, I’m convinced he ruled his own kingdom. 

Kingdoms.

“I will join you,” I say, at last, and Rhys grins as he dwells in his victory.

I, however, feel nothing but unease. The thought of seeing Lady Nesta again so soon both excites and revolts me. I haven’t been able to get her face out of my mind, haven’t been able to shake that feeling that I had when I spoke to her.

Even though I was lost and she surely thinks me a fool.

No matter. She can think me a fool as long as she’s thinking of me.

The Mother knows I’ve been thinking about her. 

[positivelyholland]

You're Not Sorry II

PLEASE GO READ PART 1 FIRST

pairing: harry styles x daughter!reader

genre: hurt/comfort

warnings: fight with a parent, tell me if i missed anything else

summary: after a week of tension between you and your dad, Harry ultimately comes to his senses 7 days after saying the terrible words he did

A/N OMG ITS FINALLY HERE!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 week. 7 days. 168 hours. You haven't talked to your dad since his last blow up a week ago. And the thing is, he hasn't talked to you either. You figured his lack of apology proves he meant all the terrible things he said to you that day. 

It hurt like hell at first, you'll admit that. But eventually, you realized through the help of your amazing mother and friends that made you realize he's just not worth your time. If he's gonna act like that and still call himself your dad then might as well not let it bother you. 

Harry on the other hand, has been the complete opposite of content the past week. He was really stressed when he said those awful words to you, although he's aware that there's no good enough excuse for what he said.

 All he wants is to apologize and beg for your forgiveness to be able to give his daughter a hug. Although he figured you wouldn't want to talk to him so he didn't push your boundaries. However, while his words weren't necessarily affecting you too much at the moment, all you wanted was a hug from your dad. 

At the end of the day, all these problems would be solved by the word “sorry” coming out of Harry’s mouth, and you both knew that. 

So here we are, a week later. After a week of no contact between the father-daughter pair, Harry decided it was time to face you along with dealing with his mistakes. 

Taking a deep breath, Harry walks up the stairs to your room where you were currently blasting music from. He hesitantly knocks on your door, resulting in you pausing your music and letting out a loud groan before stomping over to your door. 

When you opened the door and were met face to face with your dad (aka the last person you were expecting to be knocking on your door), your facial expressions exposed how much surprise you were experiencing. 

Harry's heart broke at the shock in your face. Did you really not expect him to ever apologize? And your honest answer to that question was no. You were convinced he wasn't ever going to come to his senses and realize how terrible he was to you that day. 

But here he is. Awkwardly standing at your door, looking miserable due to how much he had been beating himself up lately. 

“Can I come in? I have some things I need to say” 

Harry’s voice was small and shy, you almost didn't hear it. You nodded your head in response and opened your door wider for him, before going over to sit on your bed. You patted the spot next to you, signaling for him to sit by you. 

Harry cautiously moves into your room and slowly sits to the spot next to you on your bed. The room is dead silent for a few long, excruciating minutes before he eventually speaks up. 

“I’m gonna start by saying I love you so much, don't you ever forget that. I know I haven't been very good at showing it lately but my love for my daughter is unconditional and will never change. I’ve been terrible to you lately and I hope we can move past this one day, but I understand if you never ever forgive me because I wouldn't forgive myself but-”

“Dad!! It's ok. I forgive you and I love you too” You interrupted his rambling because if you didn't it probably wouldn't have stopped for hours. 

“Wait really? Just like that?” Harry's face was a mix of surprise and so much love and appreciation for his incredible daughter.

“Of course, you're my dad. I love you too and everyone makes mistakes” you answered like it was no big deal. 

Harry made no response other than taking you into his arms and embracing you like he never has before. Hugging your dad was such an important thing to you, and being in his arms was something you wouldn't trade for the world. All your worries were washed away the second you felt his fatherly touch. 

“I love you dad”

“I love you so much y/n. Don't you ever forget that”