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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #351

“the writing on the wall / a psalm of napalm / abandon all hope, but try to stay calm”

Do you have bad posture? Oh yeah. Are your eyes sensitive to sunlight? VERY. How many miles can you run without stopping? An astonishing zero miles. Who is the most attractive person you know personally? My high school friend Alon, probably. Have you ever dated someone who was very vastly different from your “type”? No. When was the first time you said "I love you" to a significant other? When I dated my first real boyfriend Jason at 16. I actually said it very early in because I thought I was "supposed" to, and I did REALLY like him. How old were you when you first lived alone? If you’ve never lived alone, how old do you think you’ll be? I haven't yet, and idk. What do you wish you had been better prepared for? Ha, adulthood. Is there anything about you (physically) that you think turns people off of you right off the bat? My weight. Do you know anyone with a semicolon tattoo? I have a semicolon butterfly tattoo on my wrist, and while it's very subtle, my Mark tat features a semicolon, too. It's outlined by a quote he's said ("you are important, never forget that"), and the "i" is a semicolon. Idk if I know anyone else with one. Have you ever overdosed on a drug? Once accidentally, once purposefully. Have you ever kissed a guy you didn’t want to kiss? Yes. Who was the last guy you cuddled with? Girt. What is something you’ve had a toxic reaction to? The breakup with Jason. In the last picture taken of you, how did you pose? I just tilted my head, smiled, and gave a peace sign, haha. Mom wanted to show my sister how I looked with a dozen wires and other shit attached to me for my sleep study. Have you ever made a fake Facebook account? If so, why? No. If you were an Eevee, what would you wanna evolve into? Probably Espeon? They're so, so majestic and beautiful. I'd love to feel like that, lol. What flavor was the last piece of gum you chewed? Raspberry lemonade. Did you ever used to watch the show Teen Titans? Nah. When you were in school/if you are in school, do you actually share your grades with your parents? If you got/get a bad grade, do you hide it from them? My mom always stayed up-to-date with my grades. I never really had anything to hide. Have you ever been the designated driver? Once or twice, yeah. Were you obsessed with Webkinz when they first came out? "Obsessed" is an understatement. I was that kid with dozens upon dozens. They were pretty much my favorite thing. Who do you subscribe to on YouTube, if anybody? Oh Jesus, looooots. Are you wearing nail polish right now? What color? No. Neon colors, or pastel? Pastel. Are you currently pregnant? Do you wish you were/weren’t? I'm not and have zero desire to be. Have you ever had a dog? A good number of them throughout my life. Is there any drama going on right now in your life? No. Does your hair fall out a lot? No. What’s your favourite type of bird? Barn owls. I also love ravens and crows. How many friends do you have on Facebook? 126. What was on the last sandwich you ate? Pb&j. What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school? The same as I do now: metal and its various subgenres. Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? No. How far away is the closest store to your house and what is it? I'm actually unsure which is the closest. We live in a cul-de-sac with a bunch of houses, and the street opens into just outside the main city, so there's a lot of stores. What is your favourite Thai dish? I've actually never tried Thai food. How many contacts do you have in your phone? Very few, but I don't feel like counting. Are there any candles in your bedroom, and what scent are they? No. What pet names do you use with your significant other? I'm single. Do you have to wear a name badge where you work? I don’t have a job. Can you hear anything right now? Yeah, I'm watching Gab Smolders play Skyrim. It's a game I've always wanted to play myself. Is there anybody else in the room you’re currently in? No. What’s the name of the store you usually get your groceries? Walmart. Does your house have a porch/balcony? It has a very, very small porch. What is your mother’s first name? Donna. Did you have a tree house as a kid? No. Are you afraid of speaking to large audiences? I'm terrified of it. Have you ever cried from being so mad? Oh yeah, it's very common for me to cry when I'm mad. Have you ever taken a bath with someone? As a kid, yes. Do you have any brothers? One older one. Does your family use coasters? Is anyone in your family excessively tidy? No. Do you wear pajamas to places other than at your house? Ha, yeah, just depends on where. Do you take showers in the morning or at night more? Morning. I used to be ALL about night showers, but I just love how refreshing they are in the morning. It's a good start to the day. Do you snore? Steal the covers? Roll around in your sleep? I steal the covers SO bad and roll around a lot. God bless whoever marries me. You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? I can guarantee I'd be a total deer in headlights and probably tear up or just straight-up cry. Have you been/are you depressed? It's nowhere near as bad as it was once upon a time, but I honestly am depressed these days. Who is the one person you can completely be yourself around? I only feel entirely "safe" doing that around Sara. Are your popups blocked on your computer? Yeah. Are your parents night owls or morning birds? My mom's a total night owl. She absolutely hates sleeping because it's "such a waste of time" to her, but of course she does it anyway. I haven't lived with my father since I was like 16, so idk what he's really like with this stuff now, but I'd call him an early bird, particularly because his job has him up early anyway. Do you have high blood pressure? No; my blood pressure is actually extremely low, so much so it scares every doctor who hasn't treated me before. It's a medication side effect and seriously sucks, because I am absolutely always light-headed and dizzy. Have you ever pumped gas? No. Are you affectionate? Very. What would a perfect yard look like for you? Hmmm... I'm going to include things I know I won't realistically have for maintenance reasons, but what's ideal. I would loooove love love at least one really big tree with maybe a birdhouse and like a bat box (is that what they're called?), and I'd love tons and tons of flowers to feed bees and other wildlife. A koi pond would be amazing, but that's one of those things I know I won't actually have. A pool would be really nice, preferably inground, and having a spot in the shade would be perfect. Some berry bushes would be cool, and grape vines... Man, I'm really fantasizing now, haha. What is a topic that you have just recently become interested in? Nothing very recently, but I'd say the most recent would be uhhhh tarantulas, though that's been a thing for many months now. What is a feel-good song that you’ve been listening to lately? None lately, anyway. I can tell you "Jump" by Van Halen is the staple "feel-good" song for me, though. What are some things you enjoy seeing pictures of? Meerkats... Mark... more meerkats and Mark... oh also meerkats and Mark... Is there anything you are scared/awkward about talking about in life? Don't talk to me about sex. Has a pet ever stolen food from you as you were eating it? AS I was eating it, no. What is the weirdest compliment you have ever been given? I have no idea. What’s stronger - your upper or lower body? Jesus, I couldn't tell you. I'm just weak, period. Women tend to have more lower body strength, so I GUESS maybe that, but given the fact my legs are horribly weak, I don't know. My arms aren't strong, either. Are you very careful with your technology (phone, laptop, etc) or do you take risks that could damage them? I try to be mindful and careful, but you could say the way I pick up my laptop sometimes is risky. Have you ever been in the newspaper? What for? I think so, as part of my graduating class? But that would be a LOT of people... so I actually don't know. I have this faint memory of being in it with other people, but idr. Would you say that the area you live in is particularly picturesque? Ew, no. What is your favorite type of cat? One does not simply pick ONE favorite kind of cat. I love Persians, Ragdolls, Siamese, sphynxes, bengals, Abyssinians, and I could go on and on. If you had your way, what color(s) would you dye your hair? I have A LOT of colors I want to dye my hair, but the ones I'm currently most interested in are pastel pink, creamsicle orange, and lilac. Do you like seafood? If so, what is your favorite? If not, what is your favorite type of food? I only like shrimp. What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? Paganism. It's the one I think is closest to what I believe in, and I just find it all very interesting. I love the nature focus. Would you ever consider getting dreadlocks? Nooooo. How many times is your cartilage pierced in your ears? None anymore. :( I miss all my piercings that closed while hospitalized. Have you ever had a pet bird? Nah. It'd be cool, but I don't want one enough to actually get one. Do you like dinosaurs? I looooove dinos. They were my obsession as a kid. My first dream career was even a paleontologist. Do you like going for long walks with friends? If my legs worked like a healthy fucking human's, I would love to do that again. I would literally collapse if I tried to go on a long walk now. Do you miss anyone from school? I miss a lot of people from school. I'm thankful for Facebook for that, but even that's not enough, really. What is your favorite flavor of Jolly Ranchers? Watermelon, I think? Was there a strawberry one? How are your parents right now? I'm assuming Dad's fine, and Mom's okay, just stressed as she always is. Can you take naps, or does it make you feel horrible? Man, I love naps. They're like, mandatory for my existence, lol. If you celebrate Christmas, do you get a real tree or an artificial tree? A fake one. Have you ever been told you were a good writer? Yeah. Do you watch music videos? No. Do you own an account on Club Penguin? Haha awww, remember the worldwide heartbreak when that site shut down? Anyway, I did as a kid. Do you like lemonade? Sure do. Was your first kiss perfect? To me it was. How do you feel about the first person you kissed? I feel a lot of things about him. As of right now, how do you feel about your future? Nervous. Who is the last person you ran into unexpectedly? *shrugs* Is sex something special, or just for fun? It has to be something special for me personally. Do you follow fashion? If so, why? Not at all. Have you ever played a real pinball machine? No. Do you like the smell of BBQs? I love the smell, but don't like the food. Do wasps scare you? Yes. Are you currently trying to get over someone? I mean, yes and no. I don't think I'll ever be fully over Jason, but I feel like I'm as "over him" as I'll ever be, maybe. I hope I can even further let him go, but we'll just have to see. Have you ever dated someone with longer hair than yours? Yes. Have you ever worn flip flops in the snow? HA, oh yeah. If it's only a dusting, I don't care at all. I pretty much always wear flip flops. How old were you when you met your first love? I was 15. If you could have one more pet, what? JUST one? Probably a Brazilian Black tarantula, ideally. I technically want a western hognose snake more, but given I already have a snake, in this hypothetical situation, I'd take the spider. Would you rather have an owl or a snake? Ha, speaking of snakes. A snake, even though I adore owls. What do you order at Chic-Fil-A? I don't give my business to Chick-fil-A. They're reigned by homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit that have given monetary contributions to anti-LGBT foundations, including most disgustingly those that support conversion therapy. I admittedly looooove their chicken sandwiches, but I just can't in good conscience go there. Have you ever been addicted to cigarettes? No, given I've never smoked and will never. Which do you use more? Facebook or Instagram? Facebook. Did you enjoy your past relationships? Yeah. Do you like '80s music? '80s metal is great. Something you would NEVER buy? Drugs. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? I first questioned if I was bisexual in middle school, 8th grade I think, but I went into denial about it given I was Christian at the time. Looking back, there were many clear signs of me liking girls too, I just didn't notice them until a few years ago when I came out as bi. Do you like Star Wars? No. What is the best thing about life? Experiencing love, both platonic and romantic. Are you superstitious? No. What show/concert have you gone to that you didn’t like much? I haven't experienced a bad concert before, but then again I've only been to one. Is sex a must in your life? Nah. Have you watched porn alone before? I've never watched porn period. I have absolutely no desire to watch two random people go at each other. What do you think about weed? It should be legal everywhere, but treated similarly to alcohol in that there are legal repercussions to doing certain things, like driving, under the influence. There are just too many benefits for many health conditions to ignore. Have you read the entire Bible before? No. I've started to before, but I didn't get far.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''apex predator'' by otep

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astaroth1357 · 4 years ago

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hi id like a match up if possible. istp, 4, words of affirmation and acts of service. best trait: "your respect for people. even if you strongly disagree with something, you stay civil." worst trait: "you jump to conclusions and feel hard." anything can keep me up at night, my mind can worry about how fucked the world is or how snakes don't have legs. the point is I can't fall asleep most of the time. (1/2) 🌸

“im an angry crier n easily angered and can go into a nervous breakdown what makes me happy; people making me feel special. like appreciating sth i do or giving me a genuine compliment/ criticism it means they think of me. I look up to people who are rational, hard working and sensitive. I don't have a real passion but I like making people smile. I like doing researches on topics I love. I like talking to people. boring my partner stresses me. pride anger and sloth are my sins. cuddling (2/2) 🌸”

Hello there Sakura Anon (hope you don’t mind the nickname), my apologies for the wait! Life can suck you up sometimes... Well, I’ve reviewed your answers, and from what I can gather, you’re someone who’s rather independent and wants to be seen and respected as your own person. You’re likely pretty tolerant of others and opinions that differ from your own. But to your credit, you stand firm in your own beliefs because you’re no fool. You’ve taken the time to consider your points and believe wholeheartedly that they are not only righteous but rational and befitting your ideals. I’d say that you need someone who can give you the same level of personal and intellectual respect you show others while affording you the space to be who you are. For that, please let me offer you Satan!

Satan can be a pretty laid back guy who’d enjoy being able to have a rational and civil discussion about a wide range of topics. He’ll most certainly be taken by your intellectual curiosity and will want to take part in whatever subject you just happen to be digging through that day. He’ll consider any activity where you two can explore new topics or deepen the knowledge that you already have time well spent.

You won’t ever be left wanting compliments from him. To be slightly crass, the boy knows words, a lot of them. And expect that big brain to make sure that you feel as loved and special as possible. He can, however, give you thoughtful criticism too if self-improvement is what you’re looking for. He’ll respect your drive to better yourself and find it hella admirable, so don’t be afraid to ask him for help with anything you may need! Making your life easier brings him peace of mind anyway.

Never, ever, worry about boring him. An intriguing mind and personality does far more for him than most people would think. Those late-night worries of yours give me the impression that you’ve got a brain full of stuff to talk about anyway. (He can also offer you some Devildom remedies for sleep if you really need it because not getting enough sleep sucks).

The only thing that I can see being a problem here is anger. Satan is a reasonable and rational guy, but he’s still quick-tempered to a fault. Disagreements between you both really ought to be done as calmly you can manage. Crying, yelling, or going through intense emotions will only escalate the situation… Remember, there’s nothing wrong with having strong emotions; in fact, that can make your inner life so much more enriching. It only becomes a problem if you don’t adequately convey to your partner just how much you feel about specific topics or even them. Keep an open and respectful dialogue between you, though, and I think you could weather right about anything.

And now…

Cuddle Time w/ Satan (Boy, is that a weird statement out of context…)

Though Satan doesn’t come across as the most cuddly person, he likes to be close to the people he loves when he wants to relax.

Cuddling Satan is pretty much like enveloping yourself in a fleece blanket. His sweaters are incredibly soft to the touch and make for an excellent place to rest your head against!

The way he cuddles depends on how you’re both positioned. If you’re sitting, then he’ll come around behind you and pull you onto his lap. He’ll probably be reading something, but expect him to stop occasionally to nuzzle your head or peck your cheeks.

If you’re lying down, then he may just lay his head on your stomach or chest while he buries his nose in a book. That position is always fun because you can actually see all the little expressions he makes when he’s absorbed into what he’s reading...

If you want him to put the damn book down then he’ll cuddle you with more earnest, probably while asking about your day and whatnot. Don’t be surprised if he starts petting your head at some point because the man can’t contain his pet-love…

The weirdest place you’re gonna cuddle is hands down Lucifer’s room. Satan went in there with… less than stellar intentions but well… that fireplace is really comfortable, and you both passed out on the couch.

Lucifer found you guys and thought you looked too cute to punish, so he let you sleep (he did take some pictures for counter-blackmail purposes, though, because you know he’s going to need it).

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me satan #obey me matchups #obey me match up

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jokeringcutio · 5 years ago

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Debunking Arthur Fleck Fluff HC’s

As a reply to questions I have received about Arthur’s ideal partner, his mental state, living with him, and much more, here’s a little background to the darkness in my tales and some thoughts on the matters.

Oh, look, he’s so sweet. So romantic. Such a good boy. He would be such a great boyfriend, such a good partner, such a nice protective father. He just needs cuddles and lots of love.

Welcome to my *essay*. Ever wondered why my depiction of Arthur Fleck is as gritty and dark as it is in some of my recent fics? Oh yes, I have written fluff and kind fics as well. But here are some reasons why I think that if Arthur Fleck were real, you’d better seek yourself a different guy to fall in love with.

Hold your horses:

1. Arthur Fleck’s mental health issue. 2. He is unpredictable. 3. He doesn’t see reality. 4. His humour is dangerous. 5. You would be emotionally and physically drained. 6. He murders people, including his own mother. What guarantee do you have he won’t kill you or your child? 7. And would you truly want a man like that to be the father of your children?

Warnings: This post contains sensitive content, such as topics of self-harm. Be aware of this and decide whether you wish to continue reading or click this away. This is purely explaining my own experiences and how they effect my view, explaining rather than convincing you how I got to this point of view I use in some of my darker fics.

My main points:

Let’s break it down.

1. Arthur has a real bad mental health issue, which is said to involve self-harm, negative thinking, hurting himself, hurting others, having delusions. Now why would that be a bad thing that you can’t overcome? - I’ve seen a large amount of Joker fans on Tumblr thinking that if they were there, they could help fix Arthur. And perhaps, they could. If they can, Arthur would not transform into Joker. But realistically, he would still need to take his medicine every day to keep his mindset as docile as it is at the start of the film. _ > Dangers: People who are on meds for their mental health have the tendency to, once they feel normal and happy, stop using their medicines and have a relapse. Which is very hard to see and you will have to use all your energy to help them back on track. _> A medicine can stop working. A mum of a friend of ours had this happen to her, where she became immune to her meds and had tried so many, some being taken off the market, others losing their effect after months or years of usage. She was tired of having to go through the whole process of finding a new one that worked. When it stopped being effective, she killed herself. _> A medicine can be taken off market. And whenever something happens to the meds, will your love be enough to keep Arthur standing tall? Because it might be bad luck, but the instances I have seen where people have had a serious case of reoccurring depression, or borderline syndrome, it always ended with the loved ones, despite giving it their all (their time, losing their jobs loving and taking care of them, their money, all of their possessions, their body and their soul, giving up friendships, other family members and what not), only to end up with it never being enough. That is to say, yes, there are many different mental conditions and each has different levels of severity. That is to say, every level can be severe, but while some give hope that the person suffering from it can function normally, or can find happiness, I think with all that the film has shown us, Arthur is at such a stage that we can assume it will not be cured miraculously. And you should wonder if anything you do could ever be enough.

2 & 3. He’s unpredictable.

This is part of his mental health issue. He has delusions as we noticed from the film. He doesn’t see reality. He imagines an entire relationship with his neighbour, who makes it quite clear she hardly knows the guy.

_> Danger: No matter what you do, you have no grip on the image he has of you in his mind. His reality differs from whatever it is you do. It will put you in immediate danger. -- Now why is this a terrible, terrible problem? Someone very close to me has mental issues and delusions. So I have first-hand experience. It is frightening! For years on end I have been careful about what to say, never to say something that will upset them, always say yes to whatever suggestion they give. Even if it ruins your own life. Even if they tell you all sorts of things that are wrong with you, or with people you love. You accept it out of fear because they are so instable and you want to help them forward. To give them the space they need, to look after them in times of need. And it is FRIGHTENING. Because this person I know changes personalities as well. In a way that we can argue Arthur changes personalities when he becomes Joker, but this person I know has over ten personalities and you never know who is coming out next. One personality is capable of doing normal grown-up things, the next is a small child, but all of them are angry, jealous and mean. -> Which is a big difference with Arthur. Let me make it clear now, I don’t think Arthur falls in this multiple personality disorder category. There’s a clear transition between him and Joker, possibly helped by the lack of medicine available and the effects of it waning. Arthur is unstable and unreliable because of what his own mind makes him perceive, not necessarily for being different personalities in one body.

To expand on my personal experience: This person imagines the weirdest and scariest things and to them, this is reality. Now this person is a very extreme case I won’t expand on, but they see things that didn’t happen. In a quiet room, they imagine a fight. People talking about the weatherforecast are in their mind plotting this persons death. Someone showing kindness is often in their mind someone doing something horrid or lewd and they can flip about it and shout, and throw stuff, and cause a whole scene.

So yes, no matter how kind you will be to Arthur Fleck, if his reality of you watching television is a contorted delusion of you telling him you want to walk out on him, and he places you inside his ‘bad people’ box, you might be up next for the chop. It’s how family drama’s occur, it’s one of the reasons why some people kill their loved ones because they don’t want them to get together with someone else, or live without them. Only, you don’t even have to actually want to walk away from him. He just needs to imagine it and your safety is gone. Another thing I like to think this person I know and Arthur might have in common is the obsessive and possessive way they would deal with partners. This person slowly made a web around their partner, isolating them from friends and family, making them even have to give up their job for them. They control their mobile, their email, stalk them online, send messages out of their partner’s name. Nothing that reaches the partner hasn’t run by this person, and this person takes their partner out of groups without telling them. They control everything of this persons live, and it grew so silently, so slowly, that the partner didn’t notice until it was too late. And now the partner doesn’t care. No one matters to them, no one except this person who they try with all their might to keep happy.. Which is incredibly sad. Because we can see the partner fading away, ill, unwell, with little to no joy left. And that is the bleak reality I have been faced with and still am faced with. And which I can’t ignore when looking at Arthur. The idea that he too could and would slowly create a web around the one who has taken his fancy, isolates them, makes them dependant and care only for his well-being. 4. A sign why he is dangerous. His jokes include murder, giving a glimpse of his brain. And though some might find his morbid humour funny, how would you feel if you were happily married, had a beautiful son you loved dearly, and someone would say “knock knock, your son is dead” and hold up the dead body of your son. Because think about it, his humour isn’t just humour. His humour is part of his fantasy, it is part of what he starts doing. It is a mirror of the darkness in his mind. And we have seen reasons why the murders he commit can be ‘justified’. But if you have to be realistic, can any murder be justified? A murder is still a murder, still bad. He still kills people. People we happen to know little about except that they took the piss off someone (or did they? read the note underneath this paragraph). But they have family members, friends, a mother and father. They have people who love them, who wait for them at home. How would you feel if your child, your brother or sister, your best friend, your lover, would not arrive home one day because someone thought they were bad because they ...let’s say... accidentally bumped against them in the street, or happened to look them in the eye, and were killed for it because the one they bumped against or looked at thought it was his right to do so. You would not laugh about it. You would be fucking livid.

- note: As the film is an account by Arthur, do we even know if the guys on the train actually abused him? What if they were just minding their own business and Arthur imagined being struck down by them? I mean, we do see bruises on his body, but it is his ambiguous account. Has anyone considered the possibility that the abuses took all place in Arthur’s head and he killed these men because of his own fantasy running wild and dark and morbid? I don’t think it went this way (I mean, there’s the textual evidence of Arthur having been abused in the past and what-not), but suppose for a moment that even that evidence is what came from his mind as he tells the tale, his reality. In a way we can’t trust anything that we’ve seen in the film..... 5. Ever lived with a borderliner? Then you will know how draining it is emotionally and physically. (Now, if you are diagnosed or consider yourself a borderliner don’t instantly take offence. I am talking about severe cases here, and as always there are gradations. And I do hope for you and everyone who loves you that your gradation isn’t as bad as the one I am about to describe. And if it feels it is, know you ARE LOVED.) Because if you know Borderliners you know this: They are usually the most glorious people you’ll ever meet. They shine bright, you can’t help but to instantly fall in love with them. And as such, I have never understood why they feel the need to be this self-destructive or why they never seem to understand how much they hurt all those around them who love them. But I’m not here to dwell on the hows and why’s and my own thoughts and experiences in this. I bring this up because people who are self-destructive, they suck the energy out of their loved ones. Or rather, if you love someone who wants to hurt themselves, it is emotionally draining. Because every time they want to hurt themselves, it feels like you failed, like you are not enough to them either. You can try to help them, keep them on track, and they can use your energy to keep standing. And with some people it works, with others unfortunately not as much. But now take Arthur Fleck who is an extreme case. He wants to hurt himself as well. You need to keep in mind that you will have to use every trick up your sleeve to stop him. Often. It can be little things as well. It can just be that he feels down and you have to tell him things to make him see the bright side again. But keep in mind, this won’t be once. This might be several times a day. It can be he has had a delusion that upsets him. You will have to put time and energy in to get him out of his dark mindset continuously. And if he’s anything like people I have experienced in the past, you might expect for him to bring extra drama when you’ve gone out and have a fun day, or part of a day, without him. Because he will be jealous, or feel left out, and he will probably have ruined the pans in the kitchen and burnt his own food and without words show you that you actually can’t leave. He might make hurtful or embarrassing comments when other people are around and his behaviour might scare of others, slowly isolating you from your friends. Until you are dependent on him, and constantly busy with him. And constantly trying to help him exist, and be sort of normal and sort of happy. Or in the worst case, you are constantly trying to keep all triggers away that will make him relapse and fall back into his dark thoughts. From experience, you’d think no one can handle that for long. But reality is that quite often, they persist, because they love the other THAT MUCH. Even if the one they love doesn’t understand, doesn’t seem to see, how much they sacrifice for them. But almost always they stick together till the end. And people can last for years like this. Years and years. It would count for you too. Once you’re in, you don’t want to get out because of your love for him. But you are constantly tired, you are isolated, you miss all the opportunities life offers you, you are always setting aside everything to make sure Arthur won’t flip. And even then, he flips. Constantly. But you don’t see how odd the live is that you stumbled into. After several years of slowly slipping into this life, you don’t see reality anymore. You don’t see what you miss. You are just surviving. And taking his hand to survive along.

That is what I have seen and still see. That is the basis on which I analyse a character like Arthur Fleck. That is why I can’t imagine you could have a truly happy ever after with him. 6. But worse than what I am witnessing in real-life, where the person I know who reminds me of Arthur’s mental quirks a lot is known for talking about murder, is the fact that we know Arthur Fleck is actually capable of it. And we also know that no matter what you do, if something in his brain makes the flip and he suddenly thinks bad of you, you might be up the chopping block next. This has nothing to do with whether or not he loves you. At this point we assume his love for you is real, it is strong, it is probably a lot like an obsession because once he has found you he doesn’t want to let you go again. And if he so much suspects you want to leave him, he might just make the choice that you won’t get away from him. Or if he thinks you have turned against him, what then? So consider this, are you truly save with this man? Because I don’t think you are. 7. Now, you have chosen to risk all above. You help Arthur take his meds and they work. He is sort of stable. He has his occasional sudden outbreaks where he is upset, tries to harm himself, laughs uncontrollably, and if he’s fine he makes morbid jokes. And you want a family with him because hormones and all of that stuff. Now imagine you are a child and you grow up in this small flat. Imagine it like this: You grow up. Now replace Arthur as your father with someone you don’t find physically attractive. Replace him with your own real life dad for instance. Imagine that you are born from your actual parents, but you live in a crappy small flat and your father wastes his money mostly on cigarettes (so the place stinks, but hey, if you can stand it kuddos). Imagine that your father has this laugh like Arthur, whenever he is upset. It comes out at random and sometimes unexpected times. And since you grew up with it, it frightens you, because it means your father is either sad or angry. And a kid’s initial reaction is they want their parents to be happy, so if a parent cries they cry along. It’s imbedded in children. Your father being upset upsets you too. He’s unpredictable and suffers from moodswings. One moment, he smiles at you and says he is proud of something you did, the next he is angry and shouting. Sometimes he snaps at you for something you didn’t do. A lot of the times he ignores you as he’s caught up in his own mind. When you are smaller, it is easier for him to be around you and he doesn’t show his ugly side as much, but when you grow older it gets worse. He is so familiar with you and your mom that he shows his bad side, his sadness, his irrational side, all of it, whenever he wants to. How will that make you feel? Scared? Uncertain? Not worthy perhaps, because of the way he snaps at you and blames you for things you didn’t do? Scared to say the wrong thing, to react in the wrong way. But as you grow up you discover that there is no right way to say things. When he is in one of his moods whatever you say is wrong, because a lot of the things are going on in his mind and he won’t or can’t share them with you. Sometimes you think he doesn’t like you because he’s distant, you can’t get him to respond to you and you might think he ignores you. He puts a lot of attention on himself with his unpredictable mood changes and the way he can be very dramatic about wanting to die, which can come out of nowhere and gives you the feeling you, as a kid, are not good enough. And it SUCKS. It sucks to feel that way. To be scared of your own parent all of the time. To be scared of what you say to him, what you do.

But the bright side, when you grow older you recognise parts of him in you. And if you can get through to him, he will recognise them too. And when you reach your twenties you’ll be able to talk. At first, it won’t be easy. But when it is, it is because you say you understand how he feels and you describe it to him so well, he believes you are pretty much a failure like him. He will say so in his own words. And you will accept it, but you won’t think you are a failure. Not anymore. Because you learnt how upsetting his behaviour can be, and you’re determined not to be that way. You show some of the symptoms, but not nearly as bad as him. And he reflects himself on you, thinks you are worse than you are, sees himself when he looks at you and takes it for a fact. Another of his delusions in which you play along because finally, finally, you two can connect.

You’d be so thrilled to leave the house and move to a place of your own.

Anyway.

TLDR;

- Accept the fact that you can’t change Arthur, which also means you can’t erase his negative thoughts.

- Would you be safe in this relationship? If you can’t control the reality he makes in his mind, and he actually starts murdering people, who can guarantee he won’t kill you next?

- Even if you don’t care dying by his hands, the relationship will probably be physically and emotionally draining for you.

- Still want to settle down? Do the test: Imagine your own father in Arthur’s role, behaving his way.

In conclusion: I don’t think anyone would live a happy live with Arthur Fleck. I think probably the most stable relationship, that will last the longest and have some semblance of a happy life, would be with a partner who is quiet, innocent, unexperienced, and who would sacrifice everything to keep him from tumbling into his dark mind. And he will tumble, even with all the best efforts. And it will still be a tiring, numbing and draining experience. But such relationships do exist in the real world, and unfortunately, I am still witnessing one that has been going on for years. And that’s why, I can’t see, from this distance, how anyone would be happy with the character of Arthur Fleck. He is too far gone. On the aspect of love: I feel I need to make it clear that love is, in all cases above, not a point of issue. Love will not diminish because someone has troubles of body or mind. For this, I imagined the love between Arthur and the other, both-sided. And no matter the hardships, I believe that once love is there it won’t falter. By the way he might ensnare you it might even feel as if it’s deepened, strengthened. And if you recognise yourself in some of the points I have mentioned above but struggle with yourself or your feelings, then know that no matter what ails you, there will always be someone who can love you, and health issues don’t equal the end of relationships. Not at all. From what I have seen, most partners stick by their loved one till the end. So don’t ever think that you could not find love for having a ‘fault’, or for simply being somehow different.

On my personal view of Arthur: He is still hot as f*ck though and I understand fully why people wanna tap that arse >) Arthur Fleck is a character that has not only his appearance going for him, but also all the mystery and complexity that make him interesting to write, read and fantasize about. Joaquin brought something alluring to the character, not just by the dubious glances and the paradoxical character he is playing (sweet and helpful caretaker versus revenge seeking murderclown), but the fraility of his character, both his emaciated body and his compassionately brought complicated emotions, are enough to lure anyone in. Because he makes us believe he is vulnerable. And he makes us want to get out there and hug him. While at the same time, all of us know that he can stand up for himself and that he is stronger than you would have given him credit for at the start of the film. And I believe, his character of Arthur Fleck / Joker would be stronger than most of us clown lovers. But that will not detain me. And I will continue to write about him doing smutty things and stuff, just because I can. And I will fantasize good things happening to him, and him being fluffy and ok as well, and write that down too. But in reality, we all know it probably wouldn’t be ok. Hence why I bestow you a few Dark Arthur Fics to balance against the pile of fluff I occassionally drown myself in. We can’t take just the good side of him, when there’s the complicated less prettier side to take into account as well. And perhaps, perhaps I can show us that we can love him for it just the same. We’ll see....

. . . .

And now I pose the question to you: We base a lot in life on assumptions. We are extra sensitive to the emotions of those we love the most. Keeping all this in mind, Can you truly be happy with Arthur Fleck?

#very long post #I'm so sorry #Arthur Fleck #Answers to anons #Joker

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milkshakekitty · 6 years ago

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A Ridiculously Long List of HC's For RW AU Van

Over the course of writing the Real World AU, I've come up with tons of headcanons for Van that didn't get used, so I decided to make a list

~Enjoy~

~Van pulls her hair when stressed

~She also has a stutter when she's nervous-the equivalent to her glitch

~Her comfort items are one of Ralph's shirts and a throw blanket she calls Nasty

~Vanny goes nonverbal when she's really upset

~She doesn't like being touched by anyone but Ralph (she's warming up to Rancis and Candle), but to him it's very evident that she's touch starved, as she can be kinda clingy with him, but he's the same way at times

~That being said, she's not very good at showing affection to others, and prefers to show it through joking

~She can be pretty jumpy sometimes too, especially when people make sudden moves

~Vanny HATES when people raise their voice, even if it's not directed at her, and her hearing is so sensitive to it she can tell when someone's starting to, sometimes even before they realize it

~Often ignores her basic needs. Half the time when she's in a bad mood it's just because she's hungry or tired

~She can cook but doesn't like to do it

~She's good with animals and has always wanted a puppy

~Ralph gets her a goldfish instead and she names him Spike

~Every night comes with the fear of a nightmare, so she doesn't enjoy sleeping very much

~Because of this, she often puts up a fight about going to bed and ends up staying up super late, leading to her being tired all day and taking cat naps in the weirdest places

~Vanny doesn't like the dark and has a night light

~She sucks her thumb

~She also has those glow in the dark stars on the ceiling in her room, not for the light, she just thinks they're cool

~Oh and she probably has one of those cool projection night lights that put fish n stuff on the ceiling too

~Though it doesn't get used much because she really doesn't sleep in her room often

~She's gotten kinda dependent on having Ralph nearby to be able to sleep

~This will become a plot point later, probably in a one-shot, but Tadashi and Hiro babysit her when Ralph has to work late (yeah it's a crossover but it's my AU and I do what I want)

~Van's been in foster care since she was 3

~She likes to read

~But she's also athletic

~Vanny paces when she's thinking hard about something

~Ralph totally spoils her as much as he can but she deserves it

~She's not a brat about it though she's super grateful for everything he does

~Ralph and Van have a code word for when a situation gets too overwhelming and they need to leave

~Tends to bottle up her emotions until she can't take it anymore, which sometimes leads to meltdowns

~Eats too fast most of the time and sometimes gives herself tummyaches (that's how she came up with the word 'vurp')

~HATES vegetables with a burning passion

~Can burp the alphabet

~Vanny's very ticklish, but she's liable to accidentally kick or punch anyone who tries to tickle her. Ralph learned that the hard way

~She has an intense phobia of needles and doctors in general

~Ironically, car rides often put Van to sleep

~She also tends to get carsick on long trips

I don't know what compelled you to read all this but ily for it thanks for indulging me

#wir #vanellope #au #headcanon

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razieltwelve · 6 years ago

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Exam (Final Rose)

“Is this really necessary?” Ruby grumbled.

Vanille smiled sunnily. “Yes, Ruby, it is. As the future of the hunting community, it is imperative that we ensure you students are in the best of health. As the foremost medical practitioner on Remnant, it is up to me to give each of you a brief medical examination.”

Ruby’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Are you sure this isn’t just an excuse to dress Professor Cuddles up as a doctor?”

Professor Cuddles gave an adorable squeak from a nearby table and reached up to adjust the miniature stethoscope he had. He was also wearing a tiny doctor’s outfit. Vanille shook her head. “Of course not. Seeing Professor Cuddle dressed up like a doctor is simply a happy coincidence.”

“I guess…”

“If you’re not comfortable with my doing the examination,” Vanille said. “I do have several assistants who are all ridiculously qualified too.”

“No,” Ruby said at last.��“I don’t mind you doing it.” At least she knew Vanille. “But can you tell me the real reason we’re having these examinations?”

“Basically, puberty is a really important time for people with large Auras. Not only do a host of Aura-related changes occur but they are also coupled with physical changes. Most of the time, everything goes well. However, there are times when things can get a bit dicey. It’s my job to catch anything like that before it becomes a problem. Taking regular notes about your abilities is also important since it allows us to track your improvement.”

“That does make sense,” Ruby conceded. “So how am I doing?”

Vanille rubbed her chin. “Well, you’ve probably noticed that you’ve been going through a lot of changes lately.” Ruby blinked, and Vanille gestured at her chest. “You know, like that.”

“Ah.” Ruby blushed furiously. She had definitely started to fill out over the past several months, adding more womanly curves as she shot up several inches in height. “I’m taller too.”

“Yep. Now, this sort of thing isn’t too unusual. For whatever reason, it’s not uncommon for people with certain Semblances to not develop physically at the same rate as their peers. But once a certain threshold is met, they go through a period of accelerated development. You seem to be one of them.”

“But why does that happen?” Ruby sighed. “Yang never went through anything like this.”

“We still don’t understand why only some Semblances do this, but in most cases it’s because the Semblances has to do a whole lot of extra work first. In your case, your Semblance had to make massive changes to your neurological and perceptual systems, so all of your body’s energy and growth went into that.”

“Really?”

“Ruby, you can currently move fast enough to dodge bullets, but you can somehow stay aware of and respond to your surroundings without making any mistakes. Do you have any idea how crazy that is?”

“Well, my Semblance wouldn’t be much good if I could move super faster but my reflexes were normal.”

“Exactly. So instead of you growing taller and doing all that other stuff, your Semblance was busy working on changing your brain and everything else. Now that it’s got a lot of the hard work out of the way, you’re starting to shoot up like a weed. I expect the same sort of thing will happen to Diana. Once Ragnarok has the transformation all streamlined and smoothed out, she won’t be such a ragamuffin. She’ll look even more like Fang than she already does.”

“Does that mean Weiss will get taller too?”

Vanille laughed. “Nope. I’ve studied the genetics of several families with inheritable Semblances. There doesn’t tend to be too much deviation from the mean with regards to physical abilities. Weiss might get a tad taller, but she’s never going to be as tall as Yang or Blake, or you for that matter.”

Ruby nodded slowly and then gave Vanille a solemn look. “Don’t ever tell her that.”

“I won’t. If she’s lucky she might, maybe, match her sister, Winter, in height, but I’m not sure she’ll get there.” Vanille continued to poke and prod Ruby while taking readings. To Ruby amazement, Professor Cuddles appeared to be taking notes of some kind on a scroll, hopping over the device to enter details. “Now, is there anything you want to tell me about? You have been going through a lot of changes, and there’s only so much my equipment can tell me. It’s your body. You can tell me if you’ve noticed anything strange going on.”

“Hmm…” Ruby pursed her lips. “Sometimes… sometimes it’s like the world is moving in slow motion. Most of the time, it’s just for a moment or two, but sometimes, it goes for a bit longer.”

“And it goes back to normal when you focus?” Ruby nodded, and Vanille smiled. “Then don’t worry. What you’re getting are perceptual side effects from your Semblance. Basically, since you need to be able to perceive everything in slow motion when you have your Semblance on, it’s sometimes going to happen even with your Semblance off. It should ease off as you get used to your Semblance’s evolution. If it’s still happening in a couple of months, let me know.”

“I will.” Ruby grinned. “So… what’s the weirdest thing you ever found in an examination?”

Vanille rubbed her chin. “Obviously, I can’t name any names, but I did have one Faunus a while back who actually grew a tail during puberty.”

“They grew a tail?”

“Yeah. Now some Faunus have tails and some don’t, but it’s pretty rare for someone to grow a tail during puberty. In all my years of practicing, I’ve seen only seen it happen twice. Normally, a Faunus will have their tail from birth.” Vanille chuckled. “They were convinced they’d damaged their spine on a mission or something. We had to get a lot of their clothes fixed up, but they got used to it pretty quickly.” She got Ruby to sit down. “Can you open your mouth, please?”

Ruby opened her mouth.

“Now, if you’re wondering why we do this, it’s mostly a holdover from the checkups we give Faunus since some form of dental development is not unusual during puberty. You’re not a Faunus, so I doubt we’ll find anything.” Vanille paused. “Although…”

“What is it?” Ruby managed to say.

“You really shouldn’t skip out on brushing your teeth before bed if you’re going to eat cookies, Ruby.” Vanille lifted another one of her instruments. “You’ve got a cavity on one of your upper left molars.”

“A cavity?” Ruby was aghast. “Does that mean I have to get a filling.”

Vanille cackled ominously, and Professor Cuddles crept forward with a drill. “Prepare yourself!” Ruby wailed, and Vanille rolled her eyes. “Ruby, when was the last time you went to a dentist?”

“I… I try not to go,” Ruby said. “They make me nervous.”

“Well, dental care has advanced since you were a kid. We don’t give people fillings anymore. We’ve developed ways to regenerate teeth in the same way we can use technology to regenerate other tissue. All I have to do is clear out the cavity and then apply a solution of nanites that reconstruct the damaged part of your teeth.”

“Oh.”

“But it may require a giant needle.”

“Ah!”

“I’m kidding.” Vanille lifted up what looked a lot like a syringe. “I’m not actually going to jab you with this. It’s actually used to apply the nanites. Now, hold still while I clean out the cavity.” She paused. “And just make sure you brush your teeth more. Even if we can use technology to fix cavities, it’s better not to have to do it in the first place.”

“Yes, Professor Dia.”

“Good.” She gestured at Professor Cuddles. “Press the blue button with a tooth symbol on it.”

X X X

Blake tried not to fidget as Professor Dia examined her. Instead, she kept her focus on Professor Cuddles as the hamster dutifully tapped away at a scroll as Professor Dia talked.

“Is he really taking notes for you?” Blake asked.

“As a matter of fact, he is. I mean I have something recording notes for me, but this is a sort of training exercise for him. He’s very clever. He just can’t use a scroll as easily as you or I can.” Vanille sat Blake down on a chair. “Now, we’ll continue going with the rest of the exam, but here comes the awkward part.”

“Oh.” Blake squirmed. “That part.”

“Yeah. That part.” Professor Dia sat down opposite Blake and patted her leg. “Relax. I’m a Faunus too. I get it. I’m not going to make fun of you or anything, and Professor Cuddles is a hamster.”

“Right…” Blake took a deep breath to steady herself. “So… um…”

“How are the pills going?” Vanille asked. “Are they working? Any side effects?”

Blake blushed furiously. Since her Semblance had begun to evolve, she’d been having… issues. Now that she could perceive what her clones did, she’d been experienced multiplied emotions, thoughts, and desires. It was overwhelming at times, especially when she went through one of her… sensitive periods. “They’re working. I… uh… thank you for them by the way.”

“It’s fine. If anything, it was an interesting exercise since I had to come up with something strong enough to work which would kill you.” Vanille studied Blake’s expression, taking note of every little tic. “So… any unusual urges?”

Blake sighed. “A lot of them.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “I was sparring with Yang, and I got her tangled up with Gambol Shroud. There was a part of me that wanted to just… I don’t…”

“Leave her tied up and ravish her senseless before biting her to make sure she knew who she belonged to?”

Blake covered her face with her hands. “Do you have to say it like that?”

Vanille gave Blake a sympathetic smile. “Blake, I have a binding rod. You know what that is, right?” Blake nodded. “You have no idea how many times I thought about doing that exact same thing to my wife when we were attending Beacon. Having the thought isn’t wrong. It’s just a thought. The important thing is that you didn’t actually do that.”

“I suppose.” Blake took another deep breath. “It’s not just Yang either.”

“I would be surprised if it was.” Vanille grinned impishly. “Did you know that I once came up with an important theory for topology because I was fantasising about how my whole team could enjoy ourselves together with each other all at the same time?”

“Tell me you’re joking.”

“Nope. Of course, I didn’t tell anyone that was where the inspiration came from.” Vanille tapped her cheek one one finger. “So… Weiss?”

Blake nodded morosely. “She’s just… so delicate, you know. I saw her stretching, and I kind of just wanted to… to pin her down and just have her over and over just to see how much she take, you know, to see if she was really as delicate as she looked or if she could really take it.”

“Hmm… not an uncommon fantasy,” Vanille said. “When a Faunus is going through a sensitive period, they do tend to over-emphasise things like dominance in their fantasies. Given the physical differences between Yang and Weiss, it’s not surprising your fantasies about them would be different too. What about Ruby?”

“Please, don’t tell Yang,” Blake said.

“Of course, I won’t. I’m a doctor. I’m bound by doctor-patient privilege.” She pointed at Professor Cuddles. “And so is he.”

“He’s a doctor?”

“Technically, he’s a medical assistant. Even I can’t get a hamster recognised as a doctor. Yet.” Professor Cuddles cackled evilly.

“We’re reading together,” Blake said quietly. “And then we re-enact some of the scenes.”

“Naughty, naughty.” Professor Dia chuckled and then patted Blake’s leg again. “Relax, Blake. Relax. Fantasising about this stuff is normal, okay. From what we’ve begun to understand about your Semblance, now that you can see through the eyes of your clones, you’re starting to feel things more intensely too. Now, based on my research of similar Semblances, you should start getting that under control through practice, meditation, and experience. But for the time being, you’ll just have to deal with it as best you can.”

“Similar Semblances?”

“Most Semblances with a mental component have related effects.” Vanille paused thoughtfully. “I once treated someone who could read the minds of others. And, no, I’m not talking about Jihl Nabaat. When their Semblance started ramping up in puberty, they would go through brief periods when they were convinced they were someone else. Why? They would get the thoughts of others confused with their own thoughts.”

“That sounds awful.”

“It was, but we were able to manage it, and it worked out okay.” Vanille smiled. “You might want to ask Pyrrha about some of the meditative practices she uses. Her Semblance is extraordinarily powerful, and it’s taken her some time to get used to it. I think she could help you a lot when it comes to the mental aspect.”

“I think I will ask her. Thank you.”

“Now,” Vanille said. “Just to be clear, have you engaged in sexual activity recently?”

“Do I really have to answer that?” Blake asked. “Would it even matter?”

“Depending on who you’re engaging in sexual activity with, yes, it could.” Vanille’s expression turned serious. “Not all of the stuff you hear about Aura resonance is make believe. If you’re very close to someone emotionally and physically, then Aura resonance is easier to achieve. For a married couple with a good relationship, it’s basically automatic.”

“How far are we talking about… when it comes to sexual activity?”

Vanille stared at Blake for a long moment. “Hmm… in your case, it’s probably not quite far enough to count yet.”

“What?” Blake blurted.

“I have extremely keen Aura senses. Sure, I can’t throw Aura around the way Professor Yun can, but my senses are really, really sharp. If I get familiar with someone, I can sense even minute fluctuations in their Aura. Once you start getting emotionally involved with someone, there are little changes. Since you’re the sort of person who wouldn’t get physically involved without emotional involvement, I think it’s safe to say you haven’t gone that far… at least, not recently.”

Blake blushed. “Do people realise you can tell stuff like that by looking at them?”

“Yeah, but it’s just polite not to mention it.” Vanille shrugged. “It’s like Faunus can usually tell who is sleeping with who, but none of us mention it, right?”

Blake thought back to her time in the White Fang. She’d known exactly who was sleeping with whom, but everybody had just pretended to ignore it. “I guess so.” She looked around. “So does everyone go through an examination?”

“Almost everyone. Some people have examinations on a more regular basis, and they get to skip this.” Vanille got back up and continued to study Blake. “My number one minion, for example, gets a checkup once a month, so she can skip this.”

“Isn’t Diana in perfect health?”

“Better than perfect health, but due to the massive physiological changes Ragnarok can create, I like to keep an eye on her, at least, until she’s out of puberty and her Semblance has mostly stabilised.” Vanille laughed. “It’s pretty boring, really. Every examination has the same report: subject in perfect health if short and scrawny. No extra tentacles detected yet.”

“Extra tentacles?”

“Diana can totally make tentacles if she feels like it. She used to use them in combat sometimes, but it freaked people out.” Vanille shrugged. “Apparently, they’re freakier than the ability to spit explosive acid.”

Tentacles? Blake shuddered. Yeah, she was not going to fight someone with tentacles if she could avoid it. “So… how am I look, professor?”

“Physically, you’re in exceptionally good shape. Your physical parameters are in the top 5% of your year, which is incredibly impressive considering you’re attending Beacon. You could actually be higher, but we’d need to do a more demanding exam to max out your scores. Emotionally, you’re a bit touchy about certain things, but that’s okay. It makes sense given how things are going for you.” Vanille looked Blake in the eye. “Which is why I want you to come talk to either me or one of the other qualified people if you need to get something off your chest. This a tough time for you, Blake. There’s no shame in asking for help. That’s what being in a team is about, and Beacon, Blake, is one big team when you get right down to it.” She smiled. “Now, open your mouth. Let’s see if you’ve got any cavities.”

“Did Ruby?” Blake asked.

“I can neither confirm nor deny that.”

X X X

“Well, you’re not dying,” Vanille said dryly.

Weiss rolled her eyes. “Of course, I’m not dying, professor. I assume I am in excellent health.”

“Well above the average.” Vanille grinned impishly. “But you could stand to improve your physical conditioning a bit.”

Weiss’s eye twitched. “Professor…”

“In all seriousness though, I want to congratulate you.” Vanille smiled. “Your improvement from last semester to this semester has been excellent, well above what could be expected from simple physical maturation.”

Weiss smiled. “I have been working very hard, professor, and I have my team to thank for much of my improvement.” She grinned. “Yang might be crazy, but she is excellent at physical conditioning. I have also approached the other professors about physical regimens, and they have been very helpful.”

“Good.” Vanille smirked. “So… have you beaten her yet?”

Weiss made a disgusted sound. “That obnoxious girl is far too good at hand-to-hand combat for her own good.” The obnoxious girl in question was Rin Tohsaka, a fellow student, and the last scion of a family that had once competed with the Schnees in the business world before being crushed. “Of course, she’s yet to beat me with a weapon, so I suppose we’re even.”

“Do you use Dust in your fights?” Vanille asked.

“Of course. We are both experts in Dust usage. It would be absurd to neglect it in our sparring matches although we do conduct bouts without it regularly since there is no telling when you might run out of Dust in the field.”

“Good. Dust is great, but you might have to fight without it.” Vanille had to admit that from a physical standpoint, Weiss was one of her easiest patients to deal with. Weiss was petite, sure, but her Semblance didn’t have any weird effects on her body, nor was she going through any dramatic bodily changes. She was still growing, of course, but it was normal growth. “How are things on the family front?”

Weiss growled. “Less than wonderful. My father is still wondering why I’m not at the top of all my classes. I’m beginning to wonder about his sanity. True, his expectation for me to top my Dust classes is reasonable, and I am indeed topping those. But topping single combat? Is he insane? Even if I could beat someone like Ruby in single combat - and that’s a big if - there is no way I’m getting past people like Pyrrha or Averia.”

“Some might consider that a defeatist attitude.”

“It is a practical attitude,” Weiss countered. “Look. I want to be the best, and I will absolutely train my hardest, but I am not delusional. My Semblance and abilities are perfect for a glass cannon/support type. I doubt there are many people at Beacon who can match me in that area. But single combat is different, and although I am confident in my ability to dispatch almost any opponent, the very top students are not just any other opponents.”

“That’s a mature attitude to have,” Vanille said. “And it’s one that some students take years to develop. I’m proud of you for seeing it so early.” She grinned. “Of course, that doesn’t mean you can’t try to win.”

“I always do,” Weiss said. An almost vicious smile crossed her lips. “You should have seen the look on Averia’s face when I almost punched her in the face.” She paused. “Unfortunately, she dodged at the last second and then kicked me through a wall, but you know, I almost got her.”

“Very few people can say they have gotten that close.” Vanille smirked. “And never forget that sparring matches are different from the real world. If you ever have to fight someone who you know is stronger and better than you, then you have to cheat.”

“Cheat?”

“Look at me, Weiss. There’s no way I could ever beat my wife in anything even remotely resembling a fair fight. That’s why the last time we had a more no-holds barred match, I brought in flight-capable artillery. Sure, it was cheating, but in a fight to the death, cheating doesn’t really mean anything. You’ve got Glyphs. Think of what you could do with more long-lasting Glyphs and time to prepare.”

Weiss bared her teeth. “You have the best ideas, professor.”

“Yes, because I’m a genius.” Vanille glanced down at her notes. “Now, I know it’s not much, but you are slightly bigger this semester.”

“Bigger?”

Vanille pointed at Weiss’s chest. “Like I said, not much, but still, you’re a little bigger than the last time.”

“Well,” Weiss said. “Any improvement is welcome.” She turned her head as Professor Cuddles hopped onto his scroll again, tapping out a sequence of keys. “By the way, is Blake sick? I saw her taking some pills the other day, and I want to know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

“Well… just ask her.” Vanille raised one hand. “It’s nothing bad. It’s just private. If you want to know, then ask her.”

“Right.” She chuckled. “Oh, and I’ll be keeping an eye on Ruby. She said something about you fixing her cavity.”

“I did.”

“Well, I’ll make sure she doesn’t need any fixed in the future.”

X X X

“So… am I awesome?” Yang asked.

Vanille laughed. “For the most part, yes.”

The blonde smirked. “I thought so.” Her expression sobered. “Is there anything I need to worry about, doc?”

“Not really. Your physical progress is excellent. In fact, you’re actually exceeding our initial projections. If I had to guess, it’s because you’re finally getting pushed to your very limits.”

Yang nodded. “It’s not easy to be at your best if you don’t have people to push you. There are all kinds of challenges at Beacon, lots of people I’m not sure I can beat, and that just means I have to train more and do better.” She drove her fist into her palm. “There’s nothing I like more than a real challenge.”

“Good attitude.” Vanille pursed her lips. “Which brings me to the only thing that worries me. You’ve been getting a bit reckless in your fights recently. I’ve seen the footage. You’re taking more damage than you should.”

“With my Semblance, I can take it,” Yang replied.

“Most of the time, yes, but I’m worried about what happens if you run into a situation where you can’t simply take the hit.” Vanille paused what she was doing and nodded. Professor Cuddles hopped into Yang’s lap, and the blonde ran one hand through his soft, soft fur. “I think it might be a psychological side effect of your Semblance’s development.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Your Semblance feeds off taking damage, so there will likely be some drive to take damage. The important thing is that you stay aware of it, so you can keep it from getting out of hand.”

“Does that sort of thing happen a lot?”

“More than you’d think. I know someone whose Semblance allows them to use their own blood as a weapon. No matter what happens, they always end up bleeding all over the place during a fight, even if they don’t have to. Semblances want to be used, and many of them have psychological aspects that help hone them. However, that’s only really pronounced during evolutionary phases. As your Semblance stabilises, it should be easier to manage.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Yang stood up as Vanille continued taking readings and measurements. “How are the others?”

“While I can’t say anything specific, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“Good.” Yang’s lips twitched. “It’s crazy. I’ve only known them for a bit over a year, but it’s like I’ve known Blake and Weiss my whole life. It’s crazy. When we first got introduced, I didn’t think we’d all fit together so well, and I was kind of worried about Ruby being leader.” She paused. “Not that I doubted her, I was kind of worried about how Blake and Weiss would handle Ruby being the leader. It wasn’t always easy, but we got through it, and now we feel like… like a real team.”

“I know the feeling,” Vanille replied. “And it’s a good feeling to have. Your team becomes like a second family. They become people you could trust with your life.”

“Yeah.” Yang smiled. “We’ve saved each other’s lives a couple of times already, actually.”

“It’s one thing for someone to say they’d lay down their life for you. It’s quite another to realise that it’s true.” Vanille chuckled. “You should have seen Team LFSC when they were in your position. We were all taking bets on how long it would take for Caius to quit, Snow to leave, and for Lightning and Fang to kill each other.”

“Seriously? But they’re like… super close now.”

“That’s the thing. If we pick the team right, then that’s how they should feel.”

“Heh.” Yang nodded. “I think you guys did a great job with my team. There’s just one thing…”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think we could get a balcony put in?”

“No.”

#final rose #fanfiction #oerba dia vanille #team rwby

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cookiefonster666 · 6 years ago

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Thoughts on the Homestuck Epilogues (Tumblr Edition)

I predicted the future!

Might as well adapt this Blogspot post I made about a week ago into Tumblr form, why not. With a few minor changes. I don’t like using Tumblr but I figure it’s a good additional platform to share my surprisingly positive views on the Homestuck Epilogues.

The epilogues have a lot of controversial content, most of which I avoid talking about here.

BRIEF SUMMARY

4/20, read through Meat: epilogues pretty good

4/20, started Candy: what the fuck

4/21, stopped: aaaaaaaaughhhhh bluh i hate everything

4/24-ish, continued Candy: epilogues alright i guess also i am sad now

4/27-ish, finished: I LOVE HOMESTUCK

BRIEF-ISH SUMMARY

Meat was a wild ride that started as cool plot stuff and things that make you go "OH FUCK", continued as basically chapters 7-9 of Detective Pony (which I naturally enjoyed a lot), and ended as a mess of sheer chaos and destruction. My thought process ended as, "oh duh, this is the bad ending, candy must be the good ending". I was in for quite the nasty surprise.

I quit reading Candy just a few pages in. It didn't take long for it to suddenly become the weirdest fanfiction ever. Frustrated, I started skipping and searching through later parts and got rather salty when it turned out both sides were the "bad ending". I saw firsthand what vfromhomestuck meant by "clear your whole week": this is not something most people can just read in one sitting. Then I recovered a few days and read Candy in earnest, in a somewhat anachronous order and with many parts read multiple times. Slowly, I started to hope that the epilogues would be followed up with a true happy ending for real this time. I may or may not have written a snippet of some form of fanfiction paving the way for a happy ending.

Once I finally accomplished the equivalent of reading Candy as intended, I got hit HARD with feels. I accepted that the epilogues have many issues but as a whole (not just the sum of parts) are an absolute masterwork, sometimes because of those issues. It didn't take me long to realize the brilliant duality either. Meat is a side-splitting metafictional farce that (for me at least) is impossible to treat as anything resembling a story of people doing things. Candy is a tale of FEELS, and I don't use the word FEELS lightly. FEELS means I almost cried, like I did when I watched the Futurama episode Luck of the Fryrish.

DETECTIVE PONY AND METAFICTION

Before I move on and talk about the CHARACTERS, I'm going to discuss the meat epilogue's resemblance to sonnetstuck's Detective Pony. I love everything about Detective Pony, more than almost anything else in existence. My abnormal love for that godlike fanwork probably skewed my perception of Meat a bit. Starting from page 17, Dirk takes over the narration then fights over it with god tier Calliope; both do rather questionable deeds and Dirk was hit hard by fans as a result. Seeing other fans react towards that character with such hostility gave me a very distinct feeling of "what, am I missing something?" Dirk's takeover felt like a lengthy work of comedy to me; a story that never strips away from the fact that it's fiction, in a vein near identical to that of Detective Pony. I like to think I am in the right for perceiving that arc this way, because I think everyone who has read Homestuck should read Detective Pony. One of the epilogue authors read Detective Pony after writing the epilogues and was struck by it; I take this accidental mirroring of (post-)canon as proof that sonnetstuck understands Hussie's ways through and through. I like to think I have a solid understanding of Hussie's ways by now, but this guy is on a whole new level.

That said, the meat epilogue gets a bit carried away with metafiction to the point of making me think, "god when will things go back to normal". Towards the end of Detective Pony, Dirk goes through an existential crisis followed by a powerful revelation, and then resolves to do whatever it takes to erase his abominable creation. But the meat epilogue ends with (both figurative and literal) crashing and burning; no ultimate redemption for our poor Strider. Homestuck doesn't usually have much of a problem with getting carried away with stupid nonsense; maybe a few rare occasions in cases like Hussie's self-insert scenes. But getting carried away is a major criticism I have with cool and new web comic. I love that comic to death, but the parts that take a long time to dwell on the cool and new characters being creepy or weird are a chore to go through. o (the author of CaNWC) seems to have improved in that regard; the cool and new trolls' arc is much more to-the-point with such nonsense.

Meat getting carried away with metafiction is a major cause of my initial burnout shortly after starting Candy. I was sick of this mass dump of metafiction and expected Candy to be a refreshing change of pace. Haha, if only. My fault for reading Meat first. At night I sometimes ponder in envy of the parallel universe me that started with Candy. Actually I don't do that, I just thought it was a funny thing to say. Though I have on more than a few occasions sat in bed fantasizing about how awesome my life probably is in some parallel universe. What point was I making again? Oh whatever, it doesn't matter. I guess I should write a similar overview of Candy's narrative nature. Here goes:

LUCK OF THE FRYRISH AND SADSTUCK

Sad things are sad.

^ There, that's my candy overview. How hard was that?

With the two summaries out of the way, I figure the best way to dump out my residual thoughts on the epilogues is going character by character. I won't do every character, mostly just the ones who played large roles and were already characters in Homestuck proper. I'm sorting these characters in tiers of how well I think the epilogues handle them, mostly from worst to best.

N-TIER

N is not the lowest tier; it's the tier that cannot be ranked. N stands for two things here: "Not Applicable" and "Narrators". Naturally enough, two characters fit into that tier.

Dirk Strider: I've already talked about this guy quite a bit. I have a fondness for Dirk's character and I think his dialogue and narration in meat do a good job portraying some ascended, ultimate version of his character without straying from his voice, the tone that makes him Dirk. That said, I'm a bit peeved that "normal Dirk", the one iteration of Dirk Strider that isn't total bonkers and just wants his friends to be happy, doesn't exist in this story. In Candy, Rose suddenly loses the memories of her alternate selves, but for some reason Dirk keeps those memories and soon after commits suicide; he's left out of the picture until Candy's postscript, which I guess is a reasonable balance considering his indulgence throughout Meat. But why is only one of the succulently verbose Strilondes let off the hook? Some readers imagine Dave as the comic's protagonist and Dirk as the antagonist; I've toyed with that idea myself and can see it symbolized, but it just feels so wrong to me. Maybe the authors did too good a job writing Dirk for me to be complacent with such a shift in role. His conversations with Rose were just as delightful as I had hoped and they aren't weighed down too much in light of his shift in role, at least not for me.

Alt Calliope: The narrative rival to Dirk, as I mentioned previously. I'm not totally sure what to say about her, other than that one could see her as a counterpart to let's say Anna Harley; a necessary piece in the Detective Pony analogy. Alt Calliope's narrative arguments with Dirk were hilarious and that's all there is to say on the matter.

G-TIER

I'm lucky Gamzee's name starts with a G, because this means I can give him a tier of his own worse than F. As an individual arc that is; he'd get a much higher rating when taken as part of a whole.

Gamzee Makara: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I despised reading every word that came out of this guy's mouth as soon as his """redemption arc""" started. But I can clearly tell that was the point and that the suffering that is reading his words has a much greater purpose. Before you deem me a masochist or the kind that insists everything is "bad on purpose", know that I am neither of those things but really do mean what I say here. Gamzee's role in Candy draws tension between individuality and the whole. Reading this guy's hogwash is suffering in and of itself, but ultimately it serves a role of showing us how fucked up the world of Candy is and helps the reader experience John's existential crisis with him.

F-TIER

As before, these tiers are strictly about character arcs in isolation and not the big picture. This tier is home to none other than the legendary...

Jane Crocker: Boy did I predict the future on that one. A bit like Dirk, I would've liked it more if in only one epilogue did sweet innocent little Jane become such a monster. No way in hell am I going to run through the asshole things she does; it's a load of sensitive topics I'm not comfortable discussing in any capacity. Instead, I'll say that if I had to choose only one epilogue where Jane ran through her crazy presidential campaign it would be Candy; as with Gamzee's arc, this campaign serves well as a part of John's existential crisis. What's weird here is that in Candy she originally cancelled all this, but later ended up basically doing it anyway with Dirk gone. I can imagine Jane going back to normal in Meat, maybe? Or in the hypothetical "true ending" I discussed prior.

D-TIER

Better known as "meh" tier. Mostly the characters that don't do much and I wished did more.

Meenah Peixes: Needed more screen time, god damn it. She survives the Furthest Ring apocalypse, nabs the Ring of Life, then makes her way to Candy Earth and joins Karkat in the rebellion. Maybe it makes sense that her and Karkat teaming up in war is relegated to the background, to show how far the shouty guy has come in comparison to everyone else. I'll come back to this point when I talked about Karkat.

Roxy Lalonde: Doesn't do too much in either side, but does go through some touchy topics I'm not sure what to think about; I'm most certainly not ready to talk about those topics now. And regardless, Roxy's role in the epilogues is better discussed when I talk about John and Terezi a few tiers up.

Calliope: Doesn't do all that much either, full circle to being the exposition alien with mysterious morality. I'm actually pretty OK with that. Certainly beats out the slog of endless "ur pretty" conversations. Calliope pretty much fades into the background on both sides, which is sad but fitting.

(About pronouns: I'll keep referring to Roxy and Calliope as "she" unless I find reason to talk about the little those two do in Meat. I just avoided using pronouns in those paragraphs above.)

C-TIER

Better known as "meh" tier, but with a more positive "meh" than before. It's the "meh" that indicates lukewarm satisfaction rather than annoyance at mediocrity.

Jade Harley: Really should be on a lower tier, because she did dick squat other than being horny and painfully oblivious to all the nonsense going on. But I'm a sucker for Jade being "Jade" and was happy to see even a trace of that early in Meat. As before, I'll avoid the controversial topics surrounding Jade in the epilogues, aside from pointing out that this post reads very different now.

Karkat Vantas: This guy's a bit of an odd spot. His leadership role is addressed in the absolute last way I expected. Could've gotten more attention from the story I suppose, but damn if his character arc didn't get the most triumphant return imaginable.

Kanaya Maryam: I touched upon Rose and Kanaya's relationship when I discussed the "buddy system" in my first epilogues post and I still stand by what I said there. Her strong attachment to Rose is integrated well into Meat without seeming like fluff or defining her entire character, because she actually does other things there too. In Candy they remain a stable happy relationship and I guess I'm cool with that.

Aradia Megido: Role is the same as ever and I'm fine with that. Death fangirl who works for predestination and has ambiguous morality. Her arc with alt Calliope ends with a cliffhanger that is easily the biggest reason to hope for a follow-up to the epilogues; if such a follow-up were to happen, I really look forward to hearing more from Aradia.

Sollux Captor: Sollux is by nature the other guy, that's an immutable fact of life. He doesn't do much other than snarking at whoever's nearby and I can't imagine it any other way.

Jake English: If not for a scene near the end of Candy, I'd put Jake at D-tier. Through all of Meat and most of Candy, Jake's role is one of the oddest spots of all and it's pretty hard to pinpoint what the authors were going for, lest I dabble in controversial topics some more. But Jake's scene with John near the end of Candy is uniquely touching and makes the most out of his role as a second John. He moves in with John, bringing his son Tavros with him, and encourages John to reconcile with his former wife and make amends of sorts, ultimately giving a small portion of the cast a pseudo-happy ending. That whole part of Candy made me tear up.

Talking about the really GOOD parts is a perfect point for me to move on to...

B-TIER

Stuff that didn't make it into A-Tier, which I've reserved for what struck me HARD.

Dave Strider: In both epilogues, Dave's behavior generally seems based on how he acted in Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 5, which is actually a LOT better than it sounds and hell if I know why that is. Dave's rants about politics and sexuality now have a charm I can't quite describe. His absurd fixation specifically on the economy matches shockingly well with the nature of Homestuck. The three-way romance between him, Karkat, and Jade goes in very different directions on either side, which I'll discuss a bit later. The epilogues even made Dave x Karkat an actually decent ship, how crazy is that??? The writers deserve a big badge of honor for doing that. Not sure what to say about specific things, but Dave was really well-written in an unexpected way.

Rose Lalonde: Again not sure what to say about anything in specific. Just really enjoyed reading Rose on both sides of the story. Shoutout to the heartwarming moment with John near the end.

A-TIER

Oh boy. Oh boy. Time for the big guns.

Vriska Serket: My mind hurts to process just how good Vriska's appearance in Candy was, after leaving the Furthest Ring and landing on Earth. First she talks with John rather aggravated, then she brutally murders Gamzee, then she sits down and has an honest talk with her ectobiological clone raised by Rose and Kanaya, and in the end gets in touch with Terezi which leads to a cliffhanger. The story somehow created the PERFECT balance of sincere reflections and typical Vriska flavor, which was deeply lacking in A6A6I5 with its horrific polar opposite versions of Vriska. Two Vriskas converse once again late in Candy and this time it's incredibly endearing and almost feels like an apology for the controversial Vriska/Vriska encounter back then. I accept the apology with open arms. Why is everything always so wonderful?

John Egbert: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3. WHY IS EVERYTHING ALWAYS SO WONDERFUL? John gets a deep meaningful existential crisis arc in both epilogues; both cases I easily latched onto and found a bit of myself in. I absolutely loved seeing him and Terezi interact as a duo of people with some perception of canonicity; I'll get back to that point soon enough. John's marriage to Roxy not working out is a testament to both his issues with canon and Roxy's issues dealing with harsh situations. Roxy latches onto John and their son as a huge carefree pushover and he doesn't like that at all. And that's actually cool with me because John x Terezi is better in every way, as the epilogues made me realize. If that wasn't enough, the end of Candy spoils our little hearts by having John reconcile with Roxy anyway and give hope for a better future. Though a part of me does want to see a true happy ending where John and Roxy date with their delightful dynamic from their first interactions, I'm beyond pleased with the epilogues' handling of John either way. Swaying deep into some rather sad territory while remaining 100% faithful to his character that I've always loved so much.

Terezi Pyrope: FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES. Every scene with Terezi in the epilogues was so goddamn awesome. Her interactions with John were such a blast to read, with exactly the mix of humor and touching aspects that make both of the big John/girl ships what they are. How did the authors pull it off, making deeply emotional scenes without ever sacrificing that goofy Terezi flavor???

S-TIER

S in rating systems these days is way misused in my eyes. Normally A is meant to be the highest rating and S is used for the very rare absolutely exceptional case A doesn't do justice. But now you see shit like SS, SSS, SSSS everywhere like one S isn't the ultimate badge of honor? S is a rating I'd gladly give Detective Pony and may or may not give cool and new web comic. Same goes for my very favorite Futurama episodes. I'd give a few of Neil Cicierega's works that rating if I'm feeling up to it. In this post, I've reserved the S rating for:

Barack Obama: THE BEST PART OF THE EPILOGUES, HANDS DOWN. His conversation with Dave near the end of Candy is perfect in every way, it really transcends words. Humor, emotional touching, plot revelations, and straight up "Homestuck feel" are blended into the most delicious melting pot imaginable. When Dave confesses that he might be gay and explains troubles in his three-way romance, Obama responds with a truly inspiring speech about identity that raises an excellent point about the differences between the epilogues involving aspects of people that may seem immutable to some. I think Obama's speech leaves a powerful message I never expected Homestuck of all things to convey so well. I hope readers take that speech's message into account, though I know many will probably be a bit naive about it.

If you refuse to read the epilogues at all costs, then I implore you to read Dave and Obama's conversation anyway. You won't be disappointed.

CONCLUSION

epilogues good

that’s all there is to say on the matter

though if you don’t like them that’s also fine

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #epilogues #epilogues spoilers #homestuck epilogues spoilers #i predicted the future #i love john egbert #i love terezi pyrope #i maybe love vriska serket???#obama obama obama #johnrezi #yes good

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tanyaryanmusic · 6 years ago

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To All the Buttholes I’ve Loved Before.

I’m so glad I had the opportunity to date so many buttholes.

Buttholes are such an important part of the self-development process. They highlight all the areas in that we lack. If you have trouble drawing boundaries - no problem! A butthole will come a take advantage of you until you figure it out.

You struggle with being a constant people-pleaser? You will eventually come across the forever un-pleaseable butthole.

Doesn’t matter what the goal of your personal journey into self discovery; overcoming your issues with confrontation, temper, drama, perfectionism, your value and/or self worth. There’s a butthole for that.

Of course I didn’t always see it this way. I went through a stretch of disliking, and in some cases, loathing these people for a period of time. I would relive and replay all the ways they had wronged me, hurt me or taken advantage of me. Then that got kind of boring so I decided to reflect on their impact. I was able to take away valuable and insightful lessons that helped me to understand myself and the world a little bit better. And even if in most cases I learned maybe a little too late, I still learned.

I’m not sure who coined the term serial monogamist, but I think that would describe my dating habits as well as any. I have dated enough to fully emerge myself in the experiences of various nuances of men on the butthole spectrum:

There was the one that was so sweet and sensitive but turned out that his ‘sensitivity’ was actually a stealthy form of manipulation, and for bonus points, he was also a low-key misogynist racist. NBD. Then there was the passive aggressive who wanted time, love and attention but could not request this directly so he used the silent treatment to get his way and to avoid conversations he didn’t want to have. Then the ‘I-can’t-live-without-you, you’re-my-whole-world’ one that slowly got me to do everything for him because he needed me and I was ‘always so much better at it’ than he was. That was actually super clever. Well done.

And then there was that one guy that when we broke up he called my home phone number 28 times in the middle of the night. And my cell phone 16 times. (No exaggeration here people. I’ve never seen anything like it.) And he left voicemails and texts that rom-coms base their desperate post-breakup characters off of - calling the first time just sad… the second one was more desperate. Then it was fiercely angry with horrendous name-calling. Then apologetic. Then sad again. And so on. I am absolutely one to indulge in the occasional hyperbole, but this was legit what happened. I suspect there are some deeper issues there.

Anyway. If you get the chance to reflect on these experiences in an objective manner, you get to pull out all the skillsets that they left you with. In many of my own experiences it came down to me learning to honour my value, draw boundaries, and have more self-respect.

If you get really keen on being objective, reflective and learning; you can also take away how you, yourself were a butthole. I am fully aware of the level 10 butthole I have been in certain circumstances (none of which will be listed today, because I know you think I’m perfect and I would hate to disillusion you). I also see the miscommunications that happened, and how things sort of got muttled, and therefore people got hurt unnecessarily. But hey, we’re all a little tougher now with a better sense of humour. Right? Or perhaps, the less desirable outcome, in which we’re all a little more jaded with a bitter sense of humour. Either way.

Each of the experiences with these buttholes (and my being the occasional butthole) really helped me to identify the man I chose to marry. They created this metaphorical checklist that I was able to go through.

Oh, you do that thing where you twist everything up and have no responsibility for anything? … nah. No thanks.

Ah yes, I am familiar with this technique. This is the avoid-it-until-she-gives-up technique. Nope. Next!

Hm, I am noticing how defensive and mean I get around you. I don’t like this version of me. Peace mofo, I’m out.

As awful as it sounds, there was a period of time when I was dating the man that became my husband that I was practically waiting for him to do something ignorant. But he just never really did… Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like he’s perfect. It’s more that he’s accountable. He has his moments, and he’s the first to tell me he’s sorry, or that it’s not my fault or that he just needs a bit of time to figure something out. If he’s been a bit insensitive or I have felt hurt, I tell him. He listens to me and he always apologizes. (And he doesn’t say dumb stuff like: “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Or “Calm down it was only two fries!”)

My husband respects the shit out of me. It kills me that his mother has passed away because I always want to thank her for whatever she did to make him the man he is today (I do regularly thank his dad), and I want to take notes so I can one day raise a human to be so considerate and kind.

He cherishes me. He makes me feel important to him. I feel valued, trusted and loved.

I once told him about my insanely unreasonable fear of getting locked out of the house. That day (THAT DAY) he went to Home Depot and changed the deadbolt out for a mechanical deadbolt so I didn’t have to worry about losing my key. I didn’t ask him to do that, he just did. ‘Cause he’s awesome.

He always cleans the kitchen if I cook. And often will help me clean the kitchen if he’s cooked. He does the laundry, he plans dates, and buys my favourite snacks when I’m PMS-y. He also buys me flowers every time he comes home from a long stint at work.

But most importantly, I can be all the weirdest versions of myself. He supports me with my experimenting, pushing boundaries and trying new things. I am allowed to feel all my feelings, and I feel truly safe knowing that he’s not threatened by my experiencing emotions. My favourite part of our relationship is that neither of us holds the other one to blame when we are sad, upset or hurt. Even if it was their doing… we don’t say “You hurt me” … it’s “I’m hurt.”

I know that we’ve only been together for a short time but this isn’t the first time I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years, and this one is different. At this point in previous relationships I am usually acutely aware of things that are making me feel stifled and uncomfortable, and simultaneously naively optimistic that all that garbage will get sorted out - and then it doesn’t, and maybe it lasts a few months more until it inevitably comes to a strained end. I’m just really grateful to be this far in and there’s no garbage. There’s effort, communication, and the occasional disagreement. But it’s pretty mellow. And I love that.

There’s a Buddhist quote that discusses finding your person, I’m going to paraphrase it because I can’t remember it and Google was NO help. It says something along the lines of: when you meet your life-partner it won’t be all sweaty palms, heart pounding and fireworks, instead, it will be this noticeable sense of calm. AKA it won’t be this dramatic hot/cold soap opera. I think we base our expectations of love on movies, TV and storybooks - which is a distorted adaptation of reality. It’s not to say you won’t get butterflies or nervous - sometimes I still do with Brin! But mostly he makes me feel ease. And it was like that from day one. Easy.

There are many people with a long dating history of failed relationships that will tell you there aren’t many good ones left. They’re the first to tell me that I really lucked out with how awesome Brinley is. Don’t worry all, I am well aware that my husband is straight-up the tits. But I want to get across something I feel is very important. I truly feel that I was able to identify my husband as someone to spend my life with because I reflected and learned from my past relationships. I was willing to look myself in the face and acknowledge where I needed to adjust and shift for my own personal growth; and I was able to very distinctly know what I wanted in the human being that would become my life-partner. I became so clear on this that I had decided I would rather be alone and happy by myself, than to settle for a relationship that only filled me up part way.

Before I met Brinley I made a list. A list of qualities and traits that were all inspired by the previous relationships that I had experienced. It was a pretty detailed list. When I completed my list, I read through it, and my first thought was: “Wow. If this person exists. He’s a pretty remarkable person.” It made me reflect. If I find this incredible person, then I ought to be the most incredible version of myself that I can be. I ought to be willing to return these same qualities. It’s not terribly fair to ask someone for this level of investment if you’re not willing to come to the table with similar value. So I started doing my best to develop in my own areas, asking myself harder questions: Are you ready for your person? Truly. The person that you know you want. The one that is going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Are you taking care of yourself? Are you comfortable being all of yourself? Are you responsible with your money? Are you brave enough to own your feelings and your mistakes? Are you able to stand up for yourself? All of this inquiry gave me the motivation to invest in myself. To hold myself accountable to rise and expand on who I am. To acknowledge my value and observe my deficits with kindness and patience.

So thank you, Buttholes. You were the reasons I was able to make that list. The reasons I knew exactly what I appreciated in a long-term relationship and the reasons I knew exactly what I didn’t need. You helped motivate me to step back and evaluate myself and acknowledge my various strengths and the I’m-working-on-them parts. You helped me to understand and appreciate what a truly incredible person Brinley is. Without the contrasting experiences of your Butthole-ism I may never have been able to fully appreciate the gift that my husband is.

Thanks Buttholes. I only hope I was able to do the same for you.

#Buttholes dating yycblog yyc thingsIwrite boydrama learningfromshit lifelessons humour musings reflection relationships

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gemini-kpop-reactions · 6 years ago

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The signs as people I know

I’m a Gemini sun, Sagittarius moon & Cancer rising btw

P.S. Just did this for fun, might not be accurate cause everyone’s different and I only looked at the sun signs :)

Aries

- a sweetheart, always eager to help

- can’t handle awkward silences though, makes them feel uncomfortable

- that friend that opens their books and points to the ‘ugliest’ person they can find only to remark “hey that’s you!”

- wants to be there for you but sometimes doesn’t know how or what to do to comfort you

- very determined and confident about what they’re good at

- love-hate friendships all the time

- looks intimidating but is an actual softie that just needs a lot of affection and attention

- gives me strength and support when I need it most, great at pep talks!

Taurus

- surprisingly friendly

- literal heart eyes when talking about things they’re passionate about

- kinda short and looks innocent but has an unexpected dirty humor

- “that’s what (s)he said”

- we share the same views and opinions on a lot of issues

- straightforward, hates bullshit and drama

- also hates unreliable people

- hardworking and lazy at the same time???

- gives good constructive criticism

Gemini

- so. hard. to. read. makes them quite unpredictable at times

- I never know what they’re actually thinking or what their intentions are

- either talks smack about people all the time or likes gossip but doesn’t do it

- a walking contradiction

- always relatable and tired

- lack motivation but somehow gets good grades anyway

- when they see you as a friend they’re the most loyal, thoughtful and sincere people ever

- sometimes kinda superficial

- always looks calm and carefree but probably internally screaming all. the. time.

Cancer

- I have so many Cancer friends wow

- biggest softies ever but also strongest people I know

- weirdest shits ever

- cry a lot or not at all

- good at reading emotions and people but struggle with handling emotions

- we can each do our own thing in silence whilst in the same room for hours on end and it’d be amazing

- midnight convos in the bathroom about boys and dark shit

- mature but also a mix of weird, silly, dirty and wtf are you doing 24/7

- don’t admit it but they love gifts and heartfelt mushy stuff

- big soft cuties even if they deny it

- can sometimes be quite an insensitive jerk though

Leo

- loyal, friendly, easygoing as fuck

- actually don’t really like to be the center of attention (from my experience)

- talk a lot but make sure you get to talk as well

- that extroverted friend who hits it off with introverted people (you guys are appreciated ❤️)

- good travel companion

- I have this one friend who doesn’t know where Canada lies on the map (or 99% of the other countries for that matter)

- loves seeing you happy and laughing, it warms their heart and makes their day

- may not understand what you’re going through, but always tries to make an effort to empathize with you

- such a dog person

Virgo

- we share the same feeling of cringe-worthy awkwardness

- very 4D, in a good way

- has a thing for 90′s music (and rap for some reason)

- very chill and very much a mess at the same time

- gives great advice, very wise

- anxious, doesn’t sleep well or barely sleeps tbh

- needs to take better care of themselves

- lovely voices and beautiful smiles

- likes being artistic or expressing themselves one way or another

Libra

- another sweetheart, so sincere and love making new friends

- always nice to the people around them

- very thoughtful and good at reading the atmosphere in a room

- that one friend who checks up on you to see if you’re doing alright

- small talk, lots of small talk

- genuinely worries so much about the people they care about, it sometimes makes them anxious

- surprisingly dirty-minded

- always tries not to be a nuisance to others, very conscientious

Scorpio

- the most toxic people I’ve ever met, I somehow meet a lot of Scorpio’s though

- any kind of friendship I had with a Scorpio never lasted long, but they were the most memorable ones

- either really intense or really chill, but either way quite intense when you get to know them better

- succeeds in making me spill my secrets one way or another

- hard to read what they think about you, kinda conceals what they’re feeling

- often doesn’t know how to deal with the entire concept of emotions and stress or just gave up on dealing with it in the first place

- depending on their temper and patience, can sometimes really piss me off

- very generous, sometimes also very demanding

- gets so happy when you gift them with something

- mature and wise beyond years, but also a huge huge huge soft dork

Sagittarius

- seems carefree, but usually isn’t

- always looks like there’s more to them than meets the eye

- interesting thoughts, nice person to start discussions with (if they are willing to listen without assuming or judging however)

- playful, love to tease, almost like they’re asking for sassy remarks in return

- optimistic and quite arrogant

- also huge dog people

- peoples person, likes social events one way or another

- like to be involved in things regarding the liberal sciences, politics, or anything internationally based

- can be ignorant or has been through tough shit

Capricorn

- I only have one Cap friend and I love her to bits, but for the most part I don’t click with Capricorns (so sorry about this)

- tough, kind of antisocial and mean exterior but secretly insecure and soft

- chooses who to be nice to selectively

- more sensitive than they let on

- kinda secretive in a way, their life sometimes reminds me of 2012 Wattpad stories (no offense, really)

- very romantic, loves being in love with someone

- we share the same dark and inappropriate humor

- secretly quite a nervous person, but they have no reason to be :)

- always involved in some kind of commission or club thing

Aquarius

- ended up hurting me a lot tbh

- have a hard time telling someone how important they are for them

- but always tries very hard to let them know in small ways or actions

- holds grudges, sometimes can be really petty and make sneering remarks

- there’s so much to their personality, it’s amazing

- I can talk to them about anything and everything at the same time

- the conversations turn into weird shit 9/10 times though

- starts freezing up when you confront them about something personal or emotional in their life

- doesn’t care much about how others view them

- intriguing and unconventional interests, very unique

Pisces

- very relatable on an introverted level, we share the same awkward struggles of daily life

- if they’re on the quiet side, neither of us really talks so it stays quiet most of the time

- uncomfortable small talks, it takes a long time for me to get accustomed around them

- unless we share the same interests, then it’s just a matter of days before we become best friends

- that melodramatic friend who makes remarks that make you want to literally gasp or hit her

- bit of a nerd in several topics, whether it’s school-wise or related to comics or such

- watery puppy eyes that make you want to hug them all the time

- also has a very comfortable shoulder to lean on

#astrology #zodiac #the signs as #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces

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proxylynn · 6 years ago

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Underfell: File Name not Edgy Enough #10

Chapter 10: Skeletons WARNING: I WANT NO RESPONSIBILITY OVER SPOILING THINGS FOR OTHERS. THAT BEING SAID, THIS IS HOW FILE NAME NOT FOUND WOULD FUNCTION IN THE AU OF UNDERFELL. BEFORE YOU READ THIS, UNLIKE THE NICE TIME OF UNDERTALE, THIS WORLD IS KILL OR BE KILLED. THIS STORY WILL BE GRAPHIC, GORY, USE SWEARS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, AND DEAL WITH SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTERS. FOR EXAMPLE, THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE FILE NAME RELOCATED SPOOF WILL KNOW HOW I PICTURE THIS VERSION OF LYNSIE COMING TO THE UNDERGROUND. IT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING DUMB. IT IS BECAUSE SHE CHOOSES TO END HER LIFE. SO TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. I MADE IT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO LET SOME OF THIS EDGINESS OUT OF MYSELF. WHICH I GUESS MAKES UNDERFELL LYNSIE EVEN MORE TRUE TO WHO I REALLY AM. ANYWAY, ENJOY. ^_^ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ This feels familiar. Different, but familiar. This same darkness. This same unease. This same soul shivering chill of nothingness. Funny...Where's Gaster's door? Did we just revert to the old way? {Hey...Why are you here?} That voice... "Chara?" {Lynsie? What are you doing here?} "Hell if I know." {You need to leave this place.} "Not like I know how. But why?" {They took you and Asriel. I don't know where you are now, but you shouldn't be asleep while in Snowdin Town...Even if Sans is helping you, Papyrus is not bound by any promise.} That made my spine tremble. "Okay, you have a point there. But how do I leave from...what or wherever this place is?" {You have to wake up.} "I've never made myself wake up before." {Well, how do you normally know you're about to wake up?} "Normally? I become aware that I'm dreaming." {Like right now?} "There's the conundrum. I don't know if this is a dream. I mean, I'm fulling aware when I see Gaster, but I never..." {Wait...You've met Gaster?} "You know the guy?" {Stay away from him!} I feel like I flinched. "Dude, what's wrong?" {Don't go near him! He's dangerous. You can't trust him.} "Can't really do nothing about that. He comes to me. Not the other way around." {Then don't talk to him. Ignore him. Do what you can to keep him away from your soul.} "What? Why? How?" {Just try to...} Chara's voice starts to dampen, almost like he's going mute. I don't get to speak up as I'm forced away. "*gasps and coughs*" That was the weirdest awakening from that dream-thing yet. I can't see yet, I'm sweating and covered in goosebumps. My chest is tight from lack of air and movement. What the fuck is happening to me?! "HUMAN...I SEE YOU'RE FINALLY AWAKE." I shake my head and try to focus as my sight begins to come back. I can barely make him out as a white smudge in black. "Papyrus? What happened? Where is this?" I attempt to rub my eyes but can't. I yank them only to hear the clatter of chains. "NOTICING YOUR NEW ACCESSORIES, I SEE." "The hell? Why am I restrained?" "ONE CAN NEVER BE TOO CAREFUL WHEN IT COMES TO SAFETY AND HUMANS." I scoff and rub my eyes into my shoulder, blinking a few times to get things cleared in my vision. Now that I can see, I find Papyrus standing over me, which is normal because he's taller than me, and Sans is off leaning on a wall behind his brother. I seem to be inside a small room of some sorts. There is a bowl of dry pet food with what looks like cut up hotdog mixed in, a squeaky bone chew toy, and a small pet bed. Like at the start of the forest, there is a wall of bars that separates 2/3s of the room, Sans is on the smaller watching side while Papyrus is on the larger captive side with me. The walls and floor are in terrible shape, even the two windows are in need of repair yet less than the rest of the room. I'm stuck in a kind of kneeling position due to the chains connected to the wall and floor. My wrists are connected to the chains on the wall and ankles to the ones connected to the floor. However, this doesn't concern me. What does get my attention is the fact that ALL my stuff is gone. The backpack with Flowey? Gone. My equipped gear? Gone. Even the ribbon? Yep, that's gone too. Frankly, with how thorough they were at disarming me, I'm surprised I'm not chained up in my underwear right now. [HP 36, ATK 18, and DEF 11] "Where is Flowey?" "THAT IS NONE OF YOUR CONCERN." "I won't ask again. *stern* Where is he?" Papyrus growls and Sans taps on the wall. "relax, kiddo. the weed is fine. got'em in the house so he won't shrivel up." "WHILE I DON'T CARE TO HAVE THE PLANT IN OUR HOME. SANS DID BRING UP THE POINT THAT THE FLOWER IS MORE USEFUL ALIVE THAN DEAD." "Oh yeah? How so?" He grins. "YOU'D BE MORE COOPERATIVE IF THE HOSTAGE WAS STILL LIVING." My eyes widen into a glare. "If you hurt him..." "YOU'LL WHAT? AS YOU CAN SEE, YOU AREN'T IN ANY POSITION TO MAKE THREATS." "Oh sure, overreact much? Like I've done anything to actually prove I'd hurt you if I made a threat. Probably would embarrass the crap out of you, but nothing painful." "YES. SPEAKING OF EMBARRASSMENT, YOU HAVE LOWERED MY CREDIBILITY BY NOT KILLING THOSE DOGS." I scoff. "Dude, you captured a human and no one died. How is that not a good thing for you?" "YOU ALMOST MADE IT TO TOWN. YOU HAVE ONLY AN LV OF 1. EVERY MONSTER ON PATROL IS TRAINED TO KILL HUMANS AND IS UNDER MY WATCH. BY BEING NICE AND GETTING SO FAR, IT HAS MADE ME LOOK BAD." I look at him funny. "Dude...You wanted me to go through the puzzles and even agreed to my plan on making the dogs leave us alone. You were with me the whole way for fuck's sake! If you had any problem then you should've said something, ya jackass!" Sans wasn't paying all the much attention until that moment. Papyrus glares and growls deeply. "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THAT MOUTH OF YOURS? KNOW WHEN TO KEEP IT SHUT, HUMAN. THAT'S YOUR LAST WARNING." "Bull crap! You're mad because some random assholes are talking shit about you? God forbid you yourself are happy to have done your fucking job without any issue and not care what some pussies say because they are too much of a bitch to deal with what you do. Oh no. Not the great and terrible Papyrus. You're the guy that chained up a girl that blacked out from intense vertigo. Oooh...You must be so scared." He slaps me hard enough to lock my jaw until it snaps back when I hit the wall. [HP ██████████████████████████ 26/36] "MOCK ME AGAIN! I FUCKING DARE YOU!" I can only think that his hit didn't deal more damage because of lack of space for me to fly, unlike last time. But now I'm not in a good mood. I've had enough. "Again..." "HUH?" "Touch me again. I fucking dare you! I will rip that arm off and shove it up your bony ass!" "YOU MOUTHY LITTLE BITCH..." He swings at me again and I lurch forward in a small lunge. This surprises him and he's almost caught off guard enough for me to chomp down on his hand, yet his reflexes are better than my jaw snapping. "YOU...YOU WERE GOING TO BITE ME? SANS? SHE WAS GOING BITE ME...I SAW THAT CORRECTLY, RIGHT?" Sans is now leaning into the bars with a worried expression. "um...y-yeah." "HUH...A DIRTY MOVE, HUMAN. I'M IMPRESSED YOU'D ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS. BUT..." He summons a sharpened bone and plunges it into my left shoulder, reopening the scar from when it was hurt the first time as I roar in pain. And it's not a clean stab either, only the tip exits out while the rest scraps my own bones. Blood seeps around the entry point slowly and Sans is visibly shaken by it. [HP ████████████████ 16/36] "BUT YOU'RE WRONG TO THINK I'D LET YOU DO THAT WITHOUT CONSEQUENCE." He twists the bone and I choke the yell my voice demands. The satisfied smirk he has grows as I bite my lower lip hard enough to bleed just to distract from this. [HP ████████████ 12/36] "IT HURTS, DOESN'T IT? YOU CAN TRY TO FIGHT IT, BUT YOU CAN'T HOLD OUT FOREVER. I CAN MAKE IT STOP. YOU KNOW THIS. AND I'M WILLING TO BET YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT IN EXCHANGE. SO I'LL ASK YOU, HUMAN, WILL YOU SWALLOW YOUR FOOLISH PRIDE AND SAY IT?" "*strained* I'm..." "YES?" "*strained* Not impressed..." He jerks the bone and I thrash harshly against the chains. More blood begins to come out. [HP ██████ 6/36] "pap...maybe this is a bit much." "SHE HAS TO LEARN, SANS. IF SHE DOES BAD THAN SHE WILL BE PUNISHED. SUCH IS THE CONDITIONING NEEDED IN PROPER PET TRAINING." "*strained* I'm not...a dog...asshole..." He grabs my face in one hand and forces me to look at him. His other hand still holding the bone firm. "YOU ARE IN NEED OF A RUDE AWAKENING, HUMAN. YOU ARE IN OUR CUSTODY NOW. IF YOU WEREN'T, YOU'D BE HAULED OFF TO THE CAPITAL AND KING ASGORE WOULD PERSONALLY RIP THE SOUL FROM YOUR WEAK BODY. IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME, YOU'D BE JUST ANOTHER BODY ADDED TO THE UNTOLD NUMBERS THAT WILL FALL TO US WHEN WE RETAKE THE SURFACE. SO GO AHEAD. BE DISRESPECTFUL. SEE HOW FAR THAT GETS YOU. BECAUSE LIKE ANY OWNER WITH A DISOBEYDANT PET, I HAVE A LIMIT OF HOW MUCH I CAN STAND OF YOU BEFORE I PUT YOU DOWN. AM I CLEAR?" I snarl, shaking my head from his hand and defiantly biting the bone. This gives them both very weird blushing looks, though Papyrus snaps out of this oddness first when I try to pull the bone out. "*SIGH* I WANT TO ADMIRE THIS RESOLVE YOU HAVE, BUT I'M NOT IN THE MOOD." With him being stronger than me, he has no issue pushing the bone in further in. I release it in my whimpers and end up yelping when he presses me to the wall as the bone pins me to it. [HP █ 1/36] "I DO HOPE YOU'RE COMFORTABLE. YOU'LL BE STAYING LIKE THIS FOR QUITE SOME TIME." Tears leak from the corners of my eyes but don't sting as bad as the dirty look I'm giving him. Papyrus shakes his head and moves through the bars with ease. "SANS..." "y-yeah?" "MAKE SURE SHE LEARNS HER PLACE WITHOUT DYING. I'D HATE TO HAVE WASTED MY TIME ON A HOPELESS CAUSE." "sure. no problem, boss." Papyrus heads to the door and opens it, the snowy wind blows inside. Wait...Am I in a shed? "USE YOUR TIME WISELY, HUMAN. THIS CAN EITHER BE PLEASANT OR TORTUROUS. THE CHOICE IS UP TO YOU." Papyrus leaves with a slam of the door and I wince from the vibration shaking the bone. Now alone with Sans, I try to relax. I need to think of how I'm going to deal with this and get Flowey back. "man...you really like to push his buttons." I look at the bone and try again to bite and pull it out. This gets that weird look to come back to Sans. "uh...d-do ya want some help with that?" I look at him and he flinches. The blush getting worse on his face. "n-n-never mind." He looks away but takes small glances when I grunt at each nerve being tugged. "*muffled* Damn it...Why is it so big?" Sans gulp and shudders into biting his own hand. "*quiet* fuck, kiddo...not this again...and why it like that?" I snarl and give up for the moment. I'll try again later. "*annoyed* So...What's this whole 'pet' thing he was talking about?" He blinks a few times and rubs his face to return to normal. "ya don't remember what was said at the bridge?" "Dude, I was so out of my mind I have no clue what you or him were doing. For all I know, you guys were playing checkers while in formal ball gowns." "never say that again." "Whatever." "look...ya got so messed up that pap gave up on the whole 'play with the human with puzzles' idea and was about to off ya. i came up with a quick idea of keeping ya alive as our pet so he can show off that he's so great that he bends a human to his will." "You played to his ego...Smart move, skele-dude." "yeah, but you're not really helping matters much with this whole rage against papyrus thing ya got going on." "He started it. Fucker wants to blame me for stupid shit he had no problem with because of other assholes. I ain't gonna take that! And I sure as hell ain't saying sorry! You hear that?! I'm not apologizing!" "YOU WILL IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!" Sans jumps and I hop a little at the sudden shout from the window. "I'll apologize when you do for reopening my shoulder, ya smarmy turd!" "YOU WILL APOLOGIZE AND DO SO LIKE A PROPER PET! YOU SHALL ADDRESS ME AS MASTER." "The hell I will!" "enough!" Sans shouts and gets our attention. "i am not putting up with this crap! if we're really doing this, then there's got to be some ground rules!" He points to his brother in the window. "papyrus, meet me at the library. we need to talk." He points at me. "and you...just... *sigh* just don't do anything stupid." Sans leaves the room and now it's just me. All alone and pinned to a wall while also chained. I wait some time to make sure they really left. I don't hear anything outside except the wind. Now it's action time. I clamp my teeth on the bone again and do my darnedest to ignore the pain as I pull on it. It's a slow and very painful process. Pulling it inch by inch. But it gets easier when the wider part of the bone is out and only the thinner pointy part remains. When it gets that far, I just let it fall out on its own from weight and heave a heavy sigh of slight relief. The bleeding isn't so bad, by my standards at least. I can pack some snow into it when I get out. Now for the hard part, getting rid of the shackles. I'm not going to enjoy this, but I am grateful for three things. One, shackles have a set restraint clasp that can't be adjusted to different sizes. Two, I'm double jointed in a few areas, my wrists being one spot. And three, when you're a creative kid with no friends, you do a lot of weird things...like learn how to escape. I move my thumb and pinkie finger to be in my palm so that my right hand is thinned in a curve. "One...Two...Three..." On three, I pull my hand down hard. I hiss at the sting and the bones popping don't help it from sounding worse than it is. But the results are what I wanted. My hand is free. Bent and sore, but free. "Hell...*wince* I'm gonna be a mess by day's end. Mom's going to kill me." Grabbing the bone, I use it before the magic fades. Using the tip to pry out the pin that keeps the clasps together. It isn't long before my limbs are under my full control again. "Alright...Step one, done. Step two, in progress." Now able to move, I tackle the annoying issue of the bars. I exhale and make myself as skinny as possible before trying to squeeze through. These bars are a little bit easier than the forest ones, but still a huge pain in the ass. Both figuratively and literally. This shed is filled with many made up swears by the time I get my body past the bars. I contemplate on whether I should've tried going out one of the windows, but that's when I notice something weird about the shed's door. The doorknob is backward. [It's locked from the inside.] I laugh a bit and walk out like a boss. Though being touched by the cold snow air doesn't make my shoulder or inevitable bruises feel any better. To slow the bleeding in my shoulder, I pack a bunch of snow into the wound. It won't last long due to body heat, but it's a temporary thing until I can fix this better. "Step two, done. On to step three. Now...How do I get inside?" Beside the shed, is a two leveled house that I can surmise belongs to Sans and Papyrus. Spikes outline the structure, it sports a classic pirate flag and is adorned with strings of red ominous lights. To the left of the house is Sans's mailbox, which is full of threatening letters, and Papyrus's mailbox, which is also holding equally bad looking mail. Looking at the "FUCK OFF" mat at the door, I kick it up and scoff at my idea that a key would be there. I check the door nob, to no surprise, it's locked. Checking the window yields more interesting results. The frame wiggles and it loosens the clasp. With a bit of effort, the lock slips off the bracket and I'm able to lift it up. From where the window is, part of a black couch is underneath, which come in handy when pulling myself in. Mental note to self, breaking into a skeleton's house is oddly thrilling. I re-secure the window and look around. Flowey is in here somewhere. I just have to figure out where. "Step three, done. Step four, needs work." The first floor of this house contains a living room and a kitchen. The living room features a large flat-screen television. The living room also hosts a table with what looks like a pet rock sitting on it, which is covered in salt, and one of Sans's dirty socks with a series of sticky notes attached to it, I'd recognize those dingy yellow things anywhere. The sticky notes depict Papyrus nagging Sans to pick it up and they get harsher the with each continuing note. There's also stool by the couch that seats a book titled "How to kick ass and give no fucks" that contains a joke book inside, yet within that is a book on quantum physics book which itself contains another joke book that contains another quantum physics book. I feel like that means something more. But fuck if I have time to think about it. My snow shoulder patch is melting, so off to the kitchen I go. The kitchen is rather simple, containing a stove with a tinfoil covered lasagna in it that has a note on it reminding Sans to warm it up for supper, a trash can, a long countered sink, and a fridge that has containers labeled "pasta perfection" with a number next to it on one side and an half-empty box of doughnuts on the other side. "I'll take this, thank you very much." I grab a strawberry glazed doughnut and munch to bring up my HP before a hand towel into the wound. [HP █████████████ 13/36] "Okay, flower-boy ain't down here. Now if I were a somewhat evil jackass, where would I keep a hostage? Hmmm...*gasp* My bedroom! Of course." So to the stairs I go. The second floor of the house contains a framed painting of a bone in regal attire and four doors, two leading to Papyrus's room and Sans's room, the others are unknown though one is likely a bathroom. "Yo! Flowey! You here, bro?!" "*muffled yell*" "Called it." It sounded like it came from the first door and judging from the all the warning signs on the door, I have to say it's Papyrus's room. This is further proven true by the note on the door. [It's the door to Papyrus's room. It's covered in many labels...] [NO GIRLS ALLOWED!] [NO BOYS ALLOWED!] [NO SANS ALLOWED!] [PAPYRUS ALLOWED.] "Dude just keeps finding ways to come off as a pompous ass and yet cute at the same time. Well...till he stabs you that is." I check the knob, it's locked. "*muffled shout*" "I hear you, give me a second." I lack expect thief skills so I'm not so stealthy with this approach. "Screw the rules, I have boundary issues!" I kick the door near the knob and it busts open with a loud crash. "Knock knock..." Papyrus's room isn't what I was expecting. There's a chest of bones by the door, a desktop computer in the back right corner blocking the only window, a closet between the PC and a large bookshelf. Another pirate flag adorns the wall of the back left corner, an end table with figures resembling monsters of the Royal Guard is near the bed, and the bed itself is a black modified pro stock hot rod decked out with glistening flame decals. In the center of the room is a black rug framed with flames...and a suspicious looking box that looks big enough to hold a potted flower. Opening the box reveals a bound in string Flowey that's also gagged with a sock. I pull it out of his mouth and he spits in disgust. "Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! That was the worst thing I've ever experienced in my entire life!" "At least you're not dead." I snap the string and he stretches. "What happened to you?" I look at the now very wet hand towel. "Take a wild guess." He sighs. "Papyrus?" "Bingo." He groans as I pick him up. "You wouldn't happen to know where my stuff is, would you?" "What?! They took our gear?!" "My gear. Mine. I don't see you walking around with all that on your back." "Semantics. And no. I have no clue." "Damn it...*sigh* Guess we're not leaving any time soon." Flowey's eyes widen. "W-What do you mean we aren't leaving?" "I mean, we are not leaving this house. Not till I find my stuff." I head out of the room and put Flowey down so I can fix the door. "Are you nuts?! Look what those crazy boneheads did to us! If we stay here, we are both going to die!" "And what do you think will happen if we can't call mom by curfew?" That makes the next remark die on Flowey's tongue. "...Good point." Yank the door back into its former place and tumble back a bit. "Pap is gonna be so pissed." "How do you plan to lessen this?" I pause for a moment. "I could do a little around the place. Maybe earn some points that way." "Why?" "I can snoop around while looking innocent." "...Sometimes you surprise me with evil ideas." "It's not evil if I'm doing good to get back what's mine." I pick up his pot and head downstairs. Maybe I'll start in the kitchen and work my way up. Heating up that lasagna seems like a good start. Maybe do some cleaning. But first I need to tend to this wound. [In Snowdin Town, Library] "OKAY SANS, EXPLAIN TO ME WHY WE HAD TO COME HERE AGAIN?" "like i told ya on the way...if we're gonna keep her like a pet, we should at least do some research on humans so we know what the fuck we're doing." "*HUFF* SOUNDS MORE LIKE YOU JUST WANTED ME AWAY FROM THE HUMAN." "that's just a bonus so the two of ya would shut the hell up for five minutes." The brothers stroll up the front desk where the librarian lizard looks extremely bored. "Welcome to the library, how can I be of...Oh. It's just you two. What do you want?" Papyrus sneers. "WE ARE HERE ON OFFICIAL BUSINESS, SMARTASS." "Oh yeah? Like what?" "we need any and all book ya got about humans." That made the lizard monster adjust their glasses. "This would be because of what the town is all chattering about, right? You two actually caught the last human?" Papyrus confidently poses. "INDEED, YOU HEARD RIGHT. I, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, AM IN POSSESSION OF THE FINAL HUMAN." Sans rolls his eyes in annoyance as once again, Papyrus has stolen all the credit. "And why is that? Shouldn't the human be sent to the Capital to have its soul removed?" Papyrus was going to speak but Sans beat him to it. "this is the last human. we need to know what it knows. it's been ages since the last one, so who knows what shit is like on the surface. we need to interrogate the human and report the information before we blindly run up there." Papyrus looks at his brother in surprise. "Yeah, I guess that's a smart move. But just letting you know, my stock on human books isn't as good as you might need it to be. Aside from water damage, Alphys keeps having me send her any new books I find on humans." That made them confused. "WHAT FOR?" The librarian shrugs. "She doesn't tell me. The best answer I got out of her was something along the lines of 'needing info to improve Mettaton's lethality' or something like that. If you ask me, anything she does it that hunk of scrap is an improvement." Sans chuckles. "heh...that quack really thinks she can make the tin-can deadly to humans? hell, she can't even make it be the least bit entertaining. what's it gonna do? bore them to death?" "I know. She's wasting her time. But it's none of my business what she does." The librarian steps away. "I'll check what I have and see how much she's actually returned." The lizard goes to the many shelves and Papyrus snickers, gaining Sans's attention. "what's so funny, bro?" "HEH...YOU SURPRISED ME, SANS. I WOULDN'T HAVE GUESSED YOU WERE CAPABLE OF LYING WITH A STRAIGHT FACE." Sans rolls his shoulders. "never said i couldn't lie. i just can't do it to you." Papyrus smirks. "THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW." After about fifteen minutes or so, the librarian returns with a fairly decent stack of books. "Okay, fellas, this is all I got." Just merely glancing at the spines of these books showed them to be a rather random assortment. "WHAT IS THIS ONE?" "Anatomy & Physiology Workbook For Dummies. I've got a few of these 'Dummies' books and from looking them over, they're pretty much like a crash course rundown on whatever the subject is. This one is about the human body. It's actually pretty weird." "oh yeah? how weird are we talking about?" "Get this...Their bodies are mostly composed of water?" They laugh mockingly. "No, I'm serious. Look it up if you don't believe me. And the amount of water is different depending on gender. Males have about 10% more than females. It's so weird." Sans takes the book and begins flipping through it as Papyrus scoffs. "NONSENSE. SUCH THINGS CAN'T POSSIBLY BE TRUE. WHAT KIND OF CREATURE CAN MAINTAIN LIFE WITHOUT MAGIC?" "Humans apparently. None of these books mention anything on a human's magic abilities. Seems like the rumors were true. Humanity has lost its magic." "THAT'S GOOD. THAT MEANS THEY CAN NEVER TRAP US UNDERGROUND AGAIN." "I wouldn't be so eager if I were you. Remember that one human that came through. The yellow soul with that strange weapon?" "I VAGUELY RECALL SUCH THINGS, BUT GO ON." The librarian flips open another book. This one depicting weapons and battles between humans and other humans. "They've lost the use of magic, true. But they've advanced in physical weaponry. These bombs they have...I couldn't begin to imagine such things ever being real. The damage is incredible. The devastation to their own kind is unbelievable. We'd have to hit them hard and fast or we're goners for sure." Papyrus begins looking over the book when Sans suddenly lets out a slightly shuddering gasp. "HMMM? WHAT IS IT SANS? DID YOU DISCOVER A WEAKNESS WE CAN EXPLOIT?" Sans is sweating bullets and his cheekbones burning. "this is for real, right? this book isn't just making shit up?" This has Papyrus's attention. "Yes. It's a science book. Not science fiction. Why?" "so you're telling me that THIS is a real human fact?" Sans puts the book down on the counter and has it opened to the diagram of a human's skeletal system. "Yes. Humans have skeletons inside their bodies. It's like the core of their shape and everything else covers it. Why is that so...odd...?" Now the librarian is confused by the red tinting both skeletons' faces. "SO THERE'S A SKELETON...INSIDE OF THE HUMAN?" "Yeah?" Papyrus slaps a hand over his face and Sans slams his head into the book to hide his growing blush. "*muffled* fuck my life..." "You two are acting weird. Well, more so than usual. So...Just hand over your card and I'll let you take these so this doesn't get any more uncomfortable." "AGREED." Papyrus hands over his library card and the lizard takes Papyrus's information while also stamping the due dates into each book's time card. "Have fun learning, gentlemen." The librarian teases, making Papyrus huff while taking all the books and Sans pulls his hoodie over his head in shame of the still maddening blush he has even while leaving into the cold. "CAN YOU BELIEVE THE NERVE OF THAT GUY? MUST BE A TRAIT ALL REPTILES HAVE. JUST LIKE ALPHYS." "yep." "...YOU'RE STILL THINKING ABOUT THE BOOK, AREN'T YOU?" "i wish i could stop." "THAT...I CAN AGREE WITH YOU THERE. MOST UNSETTLING." "knowing this now makes everything so awkward!" "WE JUST HAVE TO IGNORE IT. IT'S NOT LIKE SHE CAN TAKE OFF HER SKIN AND WALK AROUND IN JUST BARE BONES. ...RIGHT?" "for the love of asgore, i really fucking hope so." "BE STRONG, BROTHER. DO NOT FALL PREY TO THIS NEW INFORMATION. SHE STILL THE SAME BITCH OF A HUMAN. THIS DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING. SHE IS OUR PET. AND WE WILL NOT BE CORRUPTED BY SUCH..." [RING] The sudden sound actually makes Sans jump in surprise due to being so wound up and Papyrus nearly drops everything from shock. "holy shit...*pant* that freaked me out so bad..." "WAIT...THAT ISN'T YOUR RING TONE." "it's not my phone. i took her's when we 'confiscated' her stuff." [RING] "WHO'D BE CALLING HER ANYWAY?" "probably this ghost she knows. or her mom." "HER MOTHER?" "it's a long story..." Sans pulls the old cellphone from his shorts pocket and checks the name that pops up. "yep. it's her mom. let me just..." Without warning, Papyrus snatches the phone from Sans in one hand while holding the books in the other. "pap, no! don't!" Too late. "GREETINGS. YOU ARE SPEAKING TO THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, SECOND IN COMMAND OF THE ROYAL GUARD!" Sans's eyes go black and he knows damn well this isn't going to end well. "Papyrus? Oh! You must be Sans's brother. I've heard so much about you." That caught Papyrus off guard. He wasn't expecting to be known. Or to just be known as Sans's brother. "*AHEM* YES. THAT IS INDEED WHO I AM. NOW, WHAT IS THE NATURE OF THIS CALL?" "Well, sir, I do believe I am the one who should be asking the questions. For one, why are you in possession of my daughter's phone?" Papyrus grins evilly. "SIMPLE REALLY. I HAVE HER PHONE BECAUSE SHE IS NOW MY PRISONER." Sans cringes. "You WHAT?!" The shout was loud enough to make the phone receiver crack. "YOU HEARD ME. I HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER NOW. BUT DO NOT FEAR. SHE IS PERFECTLY FINE...IF YOU DON'T COUNT THE WOUND TO HER ARM THAT IS." There's eerie silence on the phone and Sans can't take this anymore. He rips the phone from Papyrus. "SANS! GIVE THAT BACK! I WASN'T DONE GLOATING!" "tori! it's me! don't believe a thing my bro said. h-h-he's just trying to get your goat. *nervous laugh* get it? ya know i'd never let the kid get hurt." "SANS, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" "if ya want, i can give the phone to her right now and she'll tell ya how she's fine. that sound okay, tori?" "SANS..." Sans covers the phone. "you idiot, do ya even know how fucked up you're making this?" Papyrus glares. "DO NOT TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME, SANS." "pap, the human's mom isn't another human. it's asgore's wife, toriel." That name took a moment to click in Papyrus's head, but when it did, his skull only had the look of horror smeared on it. "T-TORIEL? THE TORIEL? THE QUEEN?" "yes! she ran away to the ruins and locked herself in, remember?" "AND HUMAN IS..." "she kinda adopted her." "AND I JUST...OH MY GOD, I JUST GLOATED OVER HURTING THE QUEEN'S DAUGHTER..." "yes, you did. now go get the human so we can save our asses from being cremated!" Papyrus needs no further prompting and rushes to the shed. Sans slowly follows. "sorry about that, tori. i had to tell my bro to go wake the kid. she's at our house taking a nap. poor thing worked herself to the bone trying to get to town, it was the least i could do to let her get some rest." "...This had better not be a lie, Sans. I am in no mood to be played a fool of." "tori, trust me. i hate making promises but never do i break them. the kid is fine. she's..." Sans pauses when Papyrus comes out of the shed with even more panic than he already had. "*SHOUT* SHE'S NOT IN THERE!" Sans almost dropped the phone. The human's gone? But how? She was chained up and pinned to a freaking wall for fuck's sake! How did she...where could she...? Okay, calm down. She couldn't have gotten far. There has to be some sign of her nearby. "Sans? Is everything alright?" Sans begins to sweat profusely and gulps nervously. "y-yeah! everything's fine. the kiddo's just being fussy is all. let me put ya on hold for a sec while i calm her down." Sans hits the button to pause the call. "what do ya mean she's not there?!" "SHE'S NOT IN THERE, SANS!" "are there any clues? ya fucked her shoulder up, maybe there's a blood trail." Taking a moment to settle down, Papyrus lets his training take over. Looking back in the shed, there is a slight trail of blood droplets starting at the wall where they let her, then a big smear of it on the bars, and then leading out of the door. Sans could see the hunter in his brother take hold and calmed down. Once Papyrus had a target in mind there was nothing that escaped his sense until he found it. Papyrus took notice that the blood had stopped outside the shed but footprints took their place. These prints lead him to his own home and even stranger still, the window. "SANS...SHE'S IN OUR HOUSE." Sans comes up to him. "how do you know?" "THE FLOWER IS WATCHING OUR TV." Sans took a look to confirm his brother's words. Yes, Flowey is seated on the floor in his pot and watching television. Though the human is nowhere to be seen, it is very convincing to believe she is indeed within the residence. They waste no time in entering their home and Flowey is tackled before he can scream. "okay, weed, we know she let ya out. now tell us where she is!" To add some more convincing, Papyrus produces many sharpened bones that take aim at his face. Flowey panics but his cries are all muffled, all he can do is point to one of the doors upstairs. "THE BATHROOM!" "got it!" Sans teleports into the bathroom, leaving Papyrus and Flowey alone. There's deafening silence before screaming and swears are heard. "Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!" Sans appears on the outside of the door completely red skulled and panting, his left hand gripping his chest like his soul was about to escape. "SANS? WHAT HAPPENED?" He can't speak. Words fail to form in his mouth. All he can do to let Papyrus know that something at least went okay was give a shaky thumbs up. This wasn't as reassuring to Papyrus as Sans wanted it to be and he leaves the flower to check on his brother. "SANS? WHAT HAPPENED? DID SHE DO SOMETHING TO YOU?" Sans shakes his head. "DID YOU SEE SOMETHING?" He nods. "WELL? WHAT DID YOU SEE?" Sans only has enough cognitive thought to spit out one word. "everything." Papyrus goes to ask what he means by that, but seeing how shaken up Sans is, he decides to let it go till he's calmed down. Seconds later, the sound of water being drained clues Papyrus a bit more into what just transpired and he too shares the stunned look his brother has. "I was trying to warn you..." Snidely remarks the flower. "But I suppose that's the price you pay for just rushing in where fools dare to tread." Papyrus in no mood for smart-mouthed flowers. He carries Sans downstairs and sits him o the couch before leaving back to the shed to recollect the books he left there. "Awww...You don't look so good. What's the matter, Smiley Trashbag? Never seen a girl like that before?" "stop..." "Must've been something to really rattle you up like this." "stop." "Funny. I never thought I'd see the day when something got under your skin." "i said, STOP!" Sans's voice roars and his eyes go dark with only the left flaring a violent intense red. Flowey instantly regrets his choice to be a turd at this moment. "do not mock me! i will fucking end you! i will give you a very bad time! i will..." "You'll what?" My sudden voice breaks his rage and his glowing eye dims a little. "i'll make mulch of him if he doesn't stop being such a huge pain in the ass." "Of course you will..." Now out of the bathroom, I'm stuck wearing my bloody clothes and have my hair wrapped in a towel. "Flowey quit being a little shit." "But I..." "I could hear you through the door. Don't antagonize him." He grumbles as I descend the stairs. Sans doesn't look at me. I don't blame him. He saw way too much. "You okay?" "i'm fine." I don't believe him. "Want to reset this moment too?" Flowey looks at me funny upon hearing that. "i don't think that'll work this time." I plop down on the couch away from him. "Damn...And just when things with us were going cool again. Lady luck is being a real bitch today." That musters a small smile to his face but it's short-lived. Moments pass till Papyrus comes in with books and he isn't pleased to see me. "YOU WERE TOLD TO WAIT IN THE SHED." I want to clash with him on that, but choose not to. If I'm stuck here, for the time being, I might as well make it pleasant. Well...as pleasant as it can possibly get. "You're right. I'm sorry." That has Papyrus dropping the books. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" "I said, you're right. I was told to stay put but did not. I'm sorry." My shift in obedience even takes Sans by surprise, his eyes reverting to their normal white pinpricks. I get up and head to the kitchen. "I will admit to not being the most well-mannered person. Definitely not getting a 'good girl of the year' award for such things. But I had some time to think while you boys were gone." "OH YEAH?" I get quiet and they hear the over squeak open. "THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Papyrus rushes over and sees me pulling the lasagna out. "What's wrong? If I leave it in there it'll burn." He's confused. But when I set it down and lift the foil, all this steam comes wafting off. "YOU...YOU HEATED IT FOR ME?" "Like I said, I had some time to think. After getting inside here..." "HOW DID YOU DO THAT BY THE WAY?" "The window. It'll need to be resized or change the lock because I just had to shake it and it came loose. I recommend a temporary fix by jamming something into the frame." "DAMN IT. MY IMPENETRABLE FORTRESS HAS A FLAW. I MUST FIX THAT." "I got Flowey and let him watch TV while I did a few things. First thing, I fixed your bedroom door." He glares. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BEDROOM DOOR?" "Had to kick it open to get to Flowey. But I repaired what little issues such force caused." "IF YOU TOUCHED ANYTHING IN THERE..." "Please, you insult me with such an idea. All I touched was the box holding Flowey and nothing else. By the way, your room, very badass." He gets a faint smile. "GLAD TO KNOW YOU CAN RECOGNIZE SOMETHING SO OBVIOUS. NOW WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU DONE AROUND HERE?" I begin cutting into the food and plating it. "Well...After patching my shoulder I did some lite dusting and cleaned up any blood I tracked in with me. Then I searched the couch to find about 50G under the cushions and under the couch itself, which the pet rock is now guarding in case you want it. Plus...I picked up that sock. Damn thing was bugging my brain just sitting there. Not sure what room is Sans's so it's sitting in my pocket for now." I feel his hands rest firmly on my shoulders and I freeze. "HUMAN...THANK YOU." "Um...You're welcomed?" Why is this making me so nervous right now? "YOU HEAR THAT SANS?! EVEN THE HUMAN IS CAPABLE OF PICKING UP SOCKS!" "good for her! i don't give a shit!" "*SCOFF* GOD, HOW HE ANNOYS THE PISS OUT OF ME." "Easy now. You're both just on edge. Nanny tends to have the effect when mad." "NANNY?" "It's a nickname I gave mom before I started calling her mom. It's a goat joke." "AH. I SEE YOUR HUMOR IS JUST AS BAD AS HIS." "Either way, Toriel can be very protective. And you telling her I was hurt? Not a smart move. You're lucky Sans talked her down or we'd all be in some serious trouble." "*GRUMBLE* WHATEVER." I hand him a plate. "Here. Go relax and eat. Now is the time for peace." He looks at me funny. "Is something the matter?" "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN THAT BATHROOM TO MAKE YOU SO PLEASANT? YOU DIDN'T DRINK THE BODYWASH, DID YOU?" "*giggle* No silly. I'm just in a better more. I'm fine. Could use some healing magic to seal this wound, but otherwise okay." "HMMM...PERHAPS AFTER SUPPER, I MIGHT OBLIGE YOU WITH THAT." "I thank you ahead of time if you do." He smirks and returns to the living room. I gather up three more plates, one in each hand and one clasped hard in my teeth, before heading back to join them. I serve Flowey and move the plate from my mouth to the free hand. I then hand a plate over to Sans and takes it from me without looking at me. I frown at this but know he has to settle down. I sit on the floor and eat with Flowey. Aside from the TV playing, not a sound is made between the four of us. It's really uncomfortable. So...I try to change that. "So...Who's the robot?" Flowey gulps a large bite down. "From what I've gathered, its name is Mettaton. It's actually not that bad." "Huh? Looks familiar." "What do you mean?" "I swear...I've seen that machine before. I just can't place it." "Weird." "Eh. I'll come to me later." "So what did mom say?" "Oh, she was pissed! But I talked her into being okay. If she ever asks, we slept over. The reason I may or may not have gotten hurt was due to slipping on ice and colliding with stalagmites. Got it?" "That...That's believable. You can be a klutz sometimes." "*mock gasp* Sir, you speak ill of me? Have at you!" I nuggie Flowey and he nips at me to make me stop. This childishness plays out in front of the brothers and has them puzzled. "ARE YOU SEEING THIS?" "i am. it's so weird. like she's a different person." "DO YOU THINK THIS IS COVERED IN THE BOOKS?" "don't know. but one of those has to be a psychology book of some kind." "DO YOU THINK...IT'S POSSIBLY A RUSE?" "what? like she's faking it?" "EXACTLY." "i don't know...not sure ya can fake something like that." "DO WE...DO WE STICK WITH THE PLAN?" "the pet idea?" "YEAH?" "maybe. we gotta spin something to keep those assholes in town from narking us to undyne." "SOUNDS LIKE WE'RE DIGGING OURSELVES INTO A PRETTY DEEP HOLE HERE, SANS." "we just have to make a plan. but for now...she doesn't leave this house." "AGREED." "Hey, guys..." That broke up their little huddle. "Could I have my backpack back? I'd like to change into something less torn and blood caked." "YOU'D HAVE TO ASK SANS FOR THAT. HE TOOK YOUR THINGS. I JUST HAD THE FLOWER." I look at Sans and he flinches when he makes eye contact. "If it helps, I'll make a trade." I dig the sock out of my pocket. "Item for an item?" He looks annoyed but puts his plate down. "fine." He teleports away and Papyrus growls. "DAMN IT, SANS! YOU FORGOT TO TAKE THE SOCK!" "i didn't forget...i just didn't want to have it." Suddenly Sans is upstairs and opening a door. I mentally mark that as his room and it won't be hard to remember either. That door was the odd one with multicolored flames seeping out from under it but oddly they didn't burn or have any heat as if it's an illusion. "*SNARL* YOU WILL TAKE THIS DAMN SOCK AND PUT IT IN YOUR ROOM, OR SO HELP ME I WILL..." "you'll what?" A bone is launched and harpoons itself in the wall beside Sans's head, rattling him big time. "TAKE. THE. FUCKING. SOCK. NOW." "uh...okay, i get it. toss it here, kiddo." I ball the sock up and throw it. He catches it with ease and enters his room. Seconds later, Sans appears on the couch again with my bag. "here." He holds out the bag. "Everything in there?" "yeah." "That include my gold and items?" He sneers. "ya don't trust me?" I groan. "Don't start this crap. I have a right to ask since you guys stripped me." I snatch it from him and head back upstairs. "the fuck ya giving me attitude for?!" "Stop now before you say something stupid." "so what? now you're calling me stupid?!" "Oh my god...Grow up! You saw me naked! Get over it!" I slam the door behind me and roar in annoyance. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm not even over. Nothing like coming out of deep thought soaking in a tub and opening your eyes to see a stunned skeleton staring at you like he's seen a dead body. Why? Why did he look at me like that? The first time anyone, let alone a guy, sees me nude and they looked terrified. My self-esteem went down the drain with the bathwater. God, I hate my life. I change into a spare outfit and tie my hair back up in the ribbon. Once I'm done, I look over myself in the mirror. [It's still you, Lynsie.] [HP 36, ATK 26, and DEF 14] "Not quite. But getting there. There's always room for improvement." I exit the bathroom and see Sans is gone. Probably in his room. Papyrus appears to have grabbed another plate. The guy enjoys his own cooking, that's for sure. Flowey's zoned out on watching TV, he's such a kid sometimes. I get down there and join them. I toss the bag under the table with the rock and grab a book Papyrus brought in before sitting beside him on the couch. What a strange assortment these things are. They all had something to do with humans. This one, in particular, is called "Evolution and Selection of Quantitative Traits". So far not a bad read. "WHAT IS THAT ONE ABOUT?" "The synopsis on the back says...Evolution and Selection of Quantitative Traits presents a holistic treatment of the subject, showing the interplay between theory and data with extensive discussions on statistical issues relating to the estimation of the biologically relevant parameters for these models. Quantitative genetics is viewed as the bridge between complex mathematical models of trait evolution and real-world data, and the authors have clearly framed their treatment as such. This is the second volume in a planned trilogy that summarizes the modern field of quantitative genetics, informed by empirical observations from wide-ranging fields (agriculture, evolution, ecology, and human biology) as well as population genetics, statistical theory, mathematical modeling, genetics, and genomics. Whilst volume 1 (1998) dealt with the genetics of such traits, the main focus of volume 2 is on their evolution, with a special emphasis on detecting selection (ranging from the use of genomic and historical data through to ecological field data) and examining its consequences." "IN ENGLISH?" "What makes something work in a species so that THAT creature continues to thrive while similar beings that lack such traits don't. Like for example, there are two types of birds that live in a heavily wooded area. Food starts to get harder to come by because it starts going into the trees. The bird that evolves first to take advantage of this new way of eating, by digging into the trees, is the bird that will get to keep going while the other dies out. Makes sense?" "AH. THAT SEEMS VERY LOGICAL. HOW DOES THAT WORK FOR HUMANS?" "Eh. Humanity hasn't really evolved for a long time. I think noticeably, we stopped when Homosapiens came about and made Neanderthals die out. Though they didn't die out completely. There are still traces of Neanderthal DNA in most of the population, which shows they were able to crossbreed and keep going that way." "SO THESE HOMOSAPIENS...THEY ARE WHAT IS KNOWN AS MODERN HUMANS?" "Correct. Advancements in DNA research has allowed us to trace our line back 85 million years ago when primates diverged from other mammals." That shocks him but then has him confused. "WAIT...WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY PRIMATES?" "Monkeys and Apes. Humans evolved from them." "NO..." "I know. Sounds like complete bull. But the proof is in our blood. Yet that doesn't stop most people from thinking that's crap and we just poofed on the land because religion says so." "BUT HOW DOES A MONKEY OR APE TURN INTO A HUMAN?" "Human evolution from its first separation from the last common ancestor of humans and chimpanzees is characterized by a number of morphological, developmental, physiological, and behavioral changes. The most significant of these adaptations are bipedalism, increased brain size, lengthened ontogeny otherwise known as gestation and infancy, and decreased sexual dimorphism. The relationship between these changes is the subject of ongoing debate. Other significant morphological changes included the evolution of a power and precision grip, aka, our hands, a change first occurring in Homoerectus." "YOU KNOW AN AWFUL LOT ABOUT SUCH THINGS." "She's a nerd." Flowey interjects and I playfully shrug. "He's not wrong. I like to study random stuff that keeps my interest." "THEN IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING, WHEN DID HUMANS EVOLVE TO HAVE SKELETONS INSIDE THEM?" I tilt my head confused. "I'm not sure I understand the question." "IN ONE OF THE BOOKS WE GOT IT SHOWED THERE IS A SKELETON INSIDE OF HUMAN BODIES. WHEN DID THAT BECOME A THING?" I think hard. "Well...When life began forming in the ocean, ages ago, nothing had bones because gravity is less in water and when all life is just fist, you don't need an internal support system. One-celled animals don't have any support system that holds them in a certain shape. Plants do have a support system, but it's the cellulose in the cell wall of each cell, rather than bones. Ain't that right, bro?" Flowey rolls his eyes and focuses on the show. "Early multi-celled animals like jellyfish, sponges, and worms also didn't have skeletons, but beginning with arthropods, about 550 million years ago, animals began to make specialized structures to support their bodies and give them a definite shape. The earliest skeletons were exoskeletons. They were on the outside of the animal. Modern lobsters, crabs, snails, and insects have exoskeletons. By about 510 million years ago, eels began to have their skeletons on the inside as well as on the outside in the form of their scales. They evolved first notochords and then vertebrae to protect their delicate spinal cords. These early inside skeletons or endoskeletons were made out of cartilage rather than bone. Sharks still have skeletons made out of cartilage to this day. Which makes finding their fossils very annoying. You mostly just find teeth. Big sharp killer teeth." "INTERESTING." "By about 480 million years ago, some fish were beginning to have teeth, so they could eat other fish. To protect their heads, some fish evolved their teeth into skulls. The earliest skulls look like lots of tiny teeth. Fish also evolved two sets of fins, one near their heads, and the other about half-way down to help them swim faster. During the Devonian period, about 400 million years ago, many seas were very shallow, and fish evolved to be able to live in very shallow water. Their fins developed into legs, because crawling worked better than swimming in these puddles, and they developed finger-like appendages to help them balance when they were moving. Gradually these lungfish evolved into amphibians, about 375 million years ago, and lived more and more on land. Their bodies were not supported by the water anymore, and they needed stronger bones to hold them up. And it really just kept going from their the more land dependent life became. All the way up to the bones we have now." "THAT IS INCREDIBLE. TIME AND DETERMINATION TO LIVE REALLY AMAZES ME SOMETIMES." "Wanna see?" He cocks his brow as I put the book down to pull my left arm out of its sleeve and bring it out of my shirt's collar. Now seeing the bandage, I peel it down to show the gaping hole his bone made. "If you look up in middle of it, you can see part of my scapula and humerus. You cut into there pretty deep to move that much muscle to expose the bone. Rather impressive actually." The look he gets is a weird mixture of curiosity and restraint. "Papyrus?" He doesn't respond. He just keeps his eyes locked into the wound. It's beginning to unnerve me. I move to put the bandage back on but he stops me, holding my wrist away. I don't move now. I let him do what he wants. Slowly the hand holding my wrist starts feeling the bone behind the thin layer of skin. Those eyes of his, so intense and yet holding no ill intent like he tends to display. I pay more attention to that hand and fail to notice the other begins to test touch the inside of the hole for bone until a raw nerve makes me hiss. "SENSITIVE?" "*wince* No...Painful..." "DO YOU WANT ME TO STOP?" "*strained* If that's okay, yes." "THEN SAY THE MAGIC WORDS." I glare at him and he smirks. "*weak growl* You jerk..." "I DIDN'T HEAR YOU. CARE TO TRY AGAIN?" He shoves his fingers in deeper and I bite my lip hard. This feels so weird. Why is he blushing? Is he enjoying this? Why am I blushing? The fuck is wrong with me?! Nope! So much nope! This ends now! "*stressed* Please stop, Master!" The room goes silent. Flowey even turns off the TV in shock. Papyrus grins triumphantly and takes the offending hand out to cover the wound instead. "GOOD GIRL. FOR THAT, YOU'VE EARNED THIS." His hand starts resonating with healing magic and I feel nothing but shame. "YOU DON'T LOOK HAPPY." "I feel disgusted with myself." "AND WHY DO YOU FEEL THAT WAY?" "Because you're humiliating me in exchange for aid." "DO YOU WANT ME TO STOP?" I look away. "No." "NO WHAT?" I lower my head. "*mumble*" "WHAT WAS THAT?" "...No, Master." "THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT." Flowey just shakes his head at me and I glare harshly. "AS A SHOW THAT THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOR IS ACCEPTABLE, I WILL PERMIT YOU TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH." "Where would I have slept otherwise?" "THE SHED OF COURSE." "...I'm not even surprised." He pulls his hand away to reveal the healed flesh and stands up. "I TRUST YOU'LL BE A GOOD PET AND MAKE SURE THE FOOD IS PROPERLY STORED AND THE DISHES DONE BEFORE YOU GO TO SLEEP." I sneer and grip the couch. "Yes, Papyrus." He eyes me before turning away. "I'LL EXCEPT THAT FOR NOW. BUT DO GET USED TO CALLING ME MASTER." He heads upstairs to his room and I internally scream bloody murder while putting my arm back in my shirt the right way. "The hell did I miss?" "Not now, bro. Not now." I get up and take his plate to the kitchen. "What are you doing?" "Being a whipped bitch and hating myself for it! What else does it look like?" I kick myself as I do as told. I put the food into a correctly sized container, mark a date and number it, then put it away. Dishes don't take long to do and I set the books up on the table for them later. I even end up making sure the window and door are secured. "Why are you doing this? We have our stuff. We can leave." He's right. I have him, the bag, all my stuff, and the door is right there. So why am I doing this? Why can't I seem to even grip that idea as an option to take? "Lynsie? Hey...Are you okay?" "...I don't know." My hands are shaking and I can't feel it. Is it nerve damage? Or is something going wrong in my head? "Why don't you take a break? You've had a long day." "Yeah...Yeah, that sounds nice..." I pick him off the floor and set him on the table before flopping face first onto the couch with a groan. I want so bad to shut down and forget this happened. But I can't. I have one last thing to do before I can. I pull out my phone and dial up the only other number that isn't Toriel. [RING-RING] "...hello?" "Blook-man, it's me." "Lynsie! hey...you still coming over?" "I'm in Snowdin Town." "wow. you made it halfway. you really are something else." "Listen...I don't think I can make over by, what I'll guess is, nightfall." "how come? is it that bad out there for you?" "I am currently in the house of Royal Guardsmen Sans and Second in Command Papyrus. So...Yeah, I don't think I'm leaving anytime soon." "holy shit! are you alright?!" "So far. Kinda got this weird situation where I'm gonna be made into a pet thing going on, but other than that..." "do you need any help?" "Blooky, as sweet as that is, I ain't gonna risk you getting in trouble over me." "...then what are you going to do?" "I'll find a way. You know me." "if you need anything, just call and I'll come as fast as I can." "I know. You're a good friend, Blooky. I'll try to get over there. I just don't know when." "don't rush. the royal guard isn't to be taken lightly. hell, the captain lives near me." "...You're just telling me this now?" "in my defense...I never really thought you'd leave the ruins." "Yeah, can't fault ya there." "um...can I call you back later?" "Dude, you can call me anytime. Sorry if I bugged ya while you were doing something." "n-no! not at all! I wasn't doing anything! alright, got to go now! bye!" [CLICK] "Huh...That wasn't suspicious at all. Goodnight, Flowey." "Take it easy, human." I put the phone away and get comfortable. At least I'm indoors now and out of the cold. I can't imagine trying to sleep in that shed. A little nap will calm my nerves and bring peace to me weary soul...I hope. [Many hours later] Sans had woken up, as he often does, from non-restful slumber. The tossing and turning due to bad dreams always left him exhausted. This drained feeling is what drove him to always raid the fridge for a quick bite and feel recharged. How often he did this depended on pure randomness, but rest assured, it happens none the less and this night was no exception. Rummaging the fridge after teleporting down there, he scarfed down two or three doughnuts before chugging a large bottle of mustard he kept in the crisper. So far, a very normal replay of past nights for him. Yet in deciding to walk back to his room, something new caught his attention. The human was stretched out on the couch looking both uncomfortable and yet comfortable at the same time. Papyrus must have let her stay inside for some reason. He had to admit, he had no idea how she was managing to sleep on that thing. The couch, when used for sitting, was fine, but laying on it was another matter. It was lumpy and jangly when the springs were pressed on, so not the best bed in his opinion. But there she was. Out cold and dead to the world. He slowly approached her. Oh, how easily she could be taken out right now and no one would know. "heh...really? after everything, you really can just sleep like nothing happened?" Of course, there was no response on her end. "tell me to grow up. where the hell do ya get off telling me that shit? you don't fucking know me. you don't know half the fucked up shit i've been through. tell me to get over it after you've seen some little shit kid kill your brother and slaughter everyone before killing you. try getting over that and then you'll be on my level." He rubs his brow and sighs. "the hell am i even doing? ya can't even hear me. so why? why do ya do this to me? why are you making things so difficult? none of this has ever happened before. this is different. you weren't supposed to be here. it's a mistake. a big middle finger in the shitty comedy that is my life. like the killer kid wasn't tormenting enough, now i gotta deal with this woman that unintentionally sets me off? oh ha ha, real funny. what's next? a random house is gonna fall out of the sky with little people singing about candy and friendship? dear god, i hope not." She stirred a little to roll over. "*incoherent mumbles*" He knew he should stay quiet. He had no reason to speak. But the words left him before he could stop. "what did you say?" That seemed to draw life into her as her head lolled to look at him. Her eyes dull and hard to keep open. "Sans? You okay, buddy?" She really didn't hear any of that? He internally thanked whatever force out there for at least doing that much and got a tad bit closer. "yeah, i'm fine." "You're not mad at me anymore?" The way that came out of her sounded so innocent to him. A big difference between the girl he knows. "i wasn't mad you." "You weren't?" "no." "Oh, good. *yawn* I don't like seeing you sad. Your smile is so cute." That slowly drowned out of her as she began nodding off again and it caught him off guard. What did she mean by that? Was that even real or just the sleep talking? He wanted answers and shook her a bit. "hey, kiddo. wake up." "*whine* Two more hours, Nanny..." "i ain't your mom. now look at me." A tap on the cheek got her eyes open and the speed nearly made him jump. "Sans? What's wrong? *yawn* Is everything okay?" He just stared at her for a moment before chalking what he heard to just be nothing but sleep speech. "nah. everything's fine. just making sure you're not dead." She looked at him oddly yet let it slide due to tiredness. "Thanks." Having nothing further to investigate about her, he turned and headed towards the stairs. "Sans, wait..." He paused in mid-step. "I...I want to say...I'm sorry...For the awkwardness after that whole, you know..." That made him look back at her. This whole time he figured it wasn't bothering her past that initial intrusion, but in reality, it's been eating at her too. She was putting up a tougher front while Papyrus was around than he was. It made him feel just slightly sympathetic about it. "kid, don't mention it. i accept the apology, but let's just let that die from our thoughts. maybe give that reset thing a try." That made her smile and it had him feeling odd about it. "I'd like that." "good. then when we wake up, none of this will have happened. deal?" "Deal." She got nestled back into the couch and he began walking up the stairs. "Goodnight, Sans." Those moments. These little bits where there's no hostility. Where things are relaxed and nice. Where there is no fear and it feels safe. Those were the moments he longed for. And it scared him that she was the reason he felt any of that. "whatever." He continued up to his room and opened the door. He could feel her eyes on him yet he resisted looking back and entered his room. Now free from her gaze, he exhaled deeply and slinked over to the mattress he called a bed. This was the one place she had the weakest effect on him, but still some power none the less. She wasn't supposed to be here. Frisk was supposed to come, not her. Why this change? Why now? Such a random anomaly showing up and doing things that were so out of place made his skull itch with burning questions. Yet despite most of these questions, other thoughts would come to his mind. Like, does it even matter all that much that she's here and not Frisk? Was this really so bad? Would he had really preferred the return of that kid and causing more chaos to the timeline than to deal with this odd woman? It's not like Frisk ever gave a damn about him or Papyrus. In fact, that brat never gave a shit about any of them. So why was this bugging him so much? Maybe it was just the sense of repetitiveness that was making things weird. Expecting things to go the same way as they always had even with a new variable was foolish. Of course, things would change. And while most changes were bad in this world, this human didn't really bring any of that with her. She wasn't mindlessly going from point A to point B just to reach some unknown goal. No, she was staying put and learning. She was getting to know them. Trying to understand them. Frisk never did that. But this human...Lynsie...She was at the very least trying. Trying to do good. Trying to be better than what they thought humans were like. Trying...to be his friend. It made Sans frown at such a thought. "kiddo...don't waste your time on me. i'm not worth it." He drew his ripped sheets over himself and shut his eye sockets. Maybe in sleep, none of this would matter. Maybe when he wakes up, this will all be gone. She'd be gone. And that scared him the most.

#undertale #underfell #Anomaly #Lynsie #Sans #Papyrus #Gaster #Grillby #grandpa semi #napstablook #mettaton #flowey #chara #frisk #Asriel #asgore #toriel #undyne #alphys

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finn-nelson-for-the-win · 7 years ago

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Get to know me better!

So I did this “Get to Know Me” Game back in January when I got tagged in it initially, but I was able to come up with some more random facts about myself for this one and decided that I might as well do it again since I was tagged by two different people that wanna get to know me a little better! So yeah...thanks @lurkernolonger and @girl-looking-out-window for thinking to tag me! :)

List ten things that people may not know about you...

(I was running out of ideas, so here’s 5 fun/random facts about me and 5 not-so-fun facts haha)

There is a music video on YouTube of me (and a few other people) singing/performing a cover of a song by The Beatles and when I last checked the video it had like 19,000+ views on it

I have a really good memory for music and song lyrics. So if I like a song, I can memorize every lyric after only a couple listens to the song. I’m also really good at remembering details about a lot of music like song names, artists, release dates, album titles, etc.

I have a tendency to adopt other people’s accents when I am speaking to them, so I’ll subconsciously begin to mimic people’s accent mid-conversation or on certain words I’ll randomly slip into an accent that I would not have otherwise (for example, every time I say the word “motivation”, I inexplicably pronounce it with a really heavy Southern accent/Texas Drawl and I have no clue why)

I have a fair amount of vocal training from being in choir and so I know a lot about the science and mechanisms of singing and voice. I can read music and I have near-perfect pitch (or so I’m told). I also have super crazy good control of my lips and tongue and such because the entire vocal system is a muscle and when you practice you become stronger (so basically I can do a lot of weird stuff with my lips and tongue that most people would not have the muscle control to do haha)

I’m really bad at the whole “relationships” thing, but a solid 99.999% of my love life sounds like it was pulled directly from some cheesy RomCom or teen romance novel. I have some of the weirdest luck with relationships and the strangest things that seem like they belong only in a movie always seem to happen to me (hence why I enjoy writing stories that use my own experiences and relationships as a basis, because they are already so dramatic and unrealistic that they already seem fictional haha)

I have never learned how to ride a bike or swim. Not for lack of trying though, I just had not-so-great (read as: traumatic) experiences around pools and when trying to learn to ride a bike when I was a little kid, so I never fully learned and still haven’t made the effort to learn how to swim or ride a bike over a decade later (I’m honestly so late on learning to do a lot of things, haha. No lie, I only learned to drive and got my license like 4 months ago because it took me so long to overcome the crippling anxiety I’d get when I was behind the wheel...and I’m almost 21 years old)

I have a lot of random food allergies and food sensitivities, but they have all developed in roughly the last 3 years or so. My list of food allergies includes, but is not limited to because I seem to develop new or more severe allergies to new things all the time: dairy, eggs, pork, celery, peanuts, wheat and gluten, etc.

I make a lot of embarrassing sounds (that is a strange way for me to phrase it, I know, but it’s the best I could come up with haha). For example, when I’m nervous/stressed/anxious I hiccup, so I almost always have the hiccups. I also snort (really loud) when I laugh sometimes.

I’m not a very ticklish person, but the one part of my body that is EXTREMELY ticklish are actually the palms of my hands. Like apparently there’s a thing where it’s supposed to be impossible to tickle yourself because brain doesn’t allow you to tickle yourself and it have the same effect, but my palms are so ticklish that I tickle myself all the time and it’s kind of weird and annoying.

I’ve never really loved being in huge crowds or tight spaces, but I didn’t learn the severity of my claustrophobia/personal space issues and anxiety in large social gatherings until I was 16 and I went to an outdoor music festival with my best friend at the time and less than an hour into the festival I ended up having a panic attack and blacking out in the middle of the crowd right before the band I wanted to see perform went on stage. I ended up having to leave the crowd and sit off to the side of the stage for that band and every other band for the rest of the festival because even the small/less crowded areas were too much for me and I’d start hyperventilating. Even now, I can’t go to concerts and enjoy them as much as I’d like to because I end up having a panic attack and having to find a less crowded place and/or leave completely.

*BONUS* 11. I’m no fun because I hate having to tag people in these kinds of things so I never tag people hahaha

#my post #get to know me tag game #coming up with facts about myself was a lot harder than i thought it would be!#like of all the people that should know stuff about me i should be able to name AT LEAST 10 things about myself with little to no trouble #don't you think!?!?#finn-nelson-for-the-win

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beowulfs-booty-call · 7 years ago

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Comic Ideas:

Name: I don’t know, “Hard Times”? “Don’t be gone too long?” I’m not even in the right mindset because I’m too happy to do this y’all

It’s obviously gonna bit nsfw-ish and deals with my OC Demi and how he lives being a half demon going on full in a district where the deadly sin of Lust is his calling card.

Works as a stripper, rooms with his best friend in a rather crusty apartment funded by his “madam” pimp Persephone and her husband Hades.

Despite being an incubus, he’s still very much a child, who sees the world in his rose colored glasses and makes friends in the most oddest of ways because that’s all he knows.

Problem? There’s multiple districts in the demon world underneath manhattan’s subway system, and each are ruled by demons and fallen gods / angels. Not all are pretty, not all are gonna want a happy go lucky demon/witch boy out there making friends with humans and demons. And some, well, some just want to rule the world and come back above ground again. Plus with God on the war path, what’s a stripper to do?

Scroll through the Blue Hell™ App named Rumblr and talk to his internet friends. Even in the weirdest of ways, it’s both the people in life that makes life worth living, as well as the people you talk to over the internet that makes you really find things beautiful. (Just wait till people realize he’s also a senshi-esque warrior in his dreams...)

There’s only so much info to go on with so, I’ll give some character info and base story stuff

Demi:

Real name is unknown, used to be human before Persephone found him and “changed” him into a demon via his opal choker

Fantasizes being a Sailor Senshi

Bi with a passion but after his ex, has been trying to find the “right” guy

Literal Disney prince and likes to lie under trees in the forest

Will go with you to Denny’s at 3 am

Likes to do “witchy” stuff which is just adding basil to food when he’s not feeling up to things

Has way too much time on his hands

Likes to tattoo himself with henna

Doesn’t know how to handle guys

Wants to learn how to handle guys without sounding like a complete utter animal

The Pollyanna

You can’t take him anywhere that has dogs or he will not come out.

Boft boy (Buff+Soft) who wants to be a full demon

Doesn’t understand he used to be human: his humanity is split from him and actively is looking for him to become “whole”

Has a pelt from a wolf that used to be his friend; when he died saving him from a demon, Parvati skinned the wolf in honor of its sacrifice. Demi keeps it clean and well preserved with much fervor and looks at it not unlike a statue of a warrior.

Parvati:

Goddess of hindu faith (Of love and the family) and Demi’s guardian

Pretended to be a pimp to fool others in the district: Doesn’t realize her outfit’s meaning

Really really is a wonderful mom

Happily married to the god of destruction and teaches Demi about healthy relationships

Easily overbearing but means well

Doesn’t understand “hip” terms

“How do you do, fellow flesh wearers? Oh, apologies, “How do you do, F*ckwads?” I heard this was the proper way to greet!”

When angry she becomes a fearsome opponent, and likes to use a trident / sword to her advantage

LOVES to dress up and dance, and actively teaches Demi how to dance before going off to return home.

Protectively arrives whenever she feels something’s amiss, and Demi calls her via word or by burning seals

Knows who Demi used to be in the past, but wont tell him to save him grief.

Persephone:

Supposed Goddess of the underworld and is married to her husband Hades

Demi’s mistress, likes to be in power and is a trans woman and leader of the District he lives in

Hades helped her long ago when she was abused by her father and was able to be who she is now, a powerful and fair leader in the eyes of demons and visitors.

She’s strict but fair in her actions due to being a “mother” to all in her jurisdiction and care.

Saved Demi and turned him into an incubus to keep him alive, as humans cannot live in the Districts lest they go mad or dwindle to nothingness

Knows that the true enemy exists somewhere in the districts and above ground

Wants to bring the Underground to above ground and rule her people in the skies above

Has not aged for a millennia

Is touch sensitive so Hades cannot “touch” her, he wears gloves and respects her distance and trauma that she’s working to get through

Don’t fuck with her and don’t try to weasel yourself out of her promises, she’s a very elegant woman but she knows just “what” you may deserve.

Fimbulvetr:

Buff dude, holy shit my G he’s a tree

He’s literally a tree as in he was once a sacred tree that was transformed into a person due to the evil spirits that was sealed into him

UNREQUITED LOVE TO A CERTAIN DEMON BOY; Or is it?

Long hair, tattered jacket, seems to be the bara version of the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz

Coincidentally loves the Wizard of Oz and wishes to read it someday, if a certain boy doesn’t already read to him a bit here and there.

Lonely guardian of a forbidden forest only few know, and one of them continues to break the laws of the dimension by trespassing

Supposed “descendent and son” of Odin

Wears an eyepatch to seal the hole in which the evil spirits try to escape

Should he fall, the demons within will try to use him as a shield and a puppet, whispering dark words to coax him into giving up

Fear of abandonment

Stubbornly sweet under the veneer of being a total walking wall

Doesn’t speak much, his talking “hat” who is the soul of a spirit who escaped his eye does the talking for him, when he’s not around a certain someone

Carries a spear named Gungnir

“You’re bleeding, Forest Bum.” “Tis but a scratch, hat” “Scratch my ass, call your boyfriend and heal yourself up before you die.”

And this is just a little bit of it!

Join Demi in:

Dealing with boys!

Magical nonsense!

Strip nonsense!

How not to dress in public

Gay demons!

Making friends with a lesbian gang leader of the Wrath district

Learning to dance!

Dreams of utmost importance

Daily life of a demon stripper just trying to make ends meet!

Hard times that end up a bit better than it found you

How the fuck did you use dawn for the dishwasher stop don’t to--

Laundry being a bitch

“Quick I’m out of water, can I drink your nut”

“Out of every single organism I’ve studied, I’ve yet to understand the physics of your ass” “Magic.”

Lots of chai lattes and saying hi to human friends online

RUMBLR DRAMA OF THE SEASON

“OP Is a demophobe, drink holy water”

Other shit I can’t think of rn because I NEED to do this instead of just pictures dudes.

I don’t even know how I’m gonna do this and at how much time because I can’t make a schedule per say, but hey! This is what I wanna do! It’s gonna be shitty af in comparison but I’ll try my best, yeah?

#Thanks for reading!#I have noooo idea how I'll do this but!#We're gonna try!#Me stuff #OC: Demi

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vaporwavegirl · 7 years ago

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2017 has been the craziest most emotionally damaging and most exhausting and weirdest year of my life. But through all have that I've met some amazing people and learned so much and grown up so much as a person I'm really started to learn about who really am and I've opened up and really matured alot this year. Started college and really starting to save up money and buying my own car and turning 18 and being given so much more freedom becoming so much more open and with my mother and forming such a close unbreakable bond with the women who adopted me and saved my life really was I was a baby. SHe and my father (who recently divorced) gave up alot to adopt me and my brother and raise us the best they could. We're not perfect and we definitely are difficult and mean and make stupid decisions sometimes but our parents despite going through alot them selves and our family struggling with alot of deaths and being broke and not having jobs for awhile have still done what they could to give us a good life. My mom is still there for me and is trying her hardest to take care of me and this year has been shitty but it has transformed me into an entirely new and happier and better person honestly. I've become much more spiritual and I'm so much I more in touch with myself .I'v been through alot but I wouldn't have it any other way it has been for the best. I have met so many of the most amazing people this year some of which were only in my life for a short time unfortunately. But I hope to keep in touch with these people and grow and thrive with them and I'm so happy I'm entering 2018 with some of the most amazing talented creative beautiful people I have ever have the pleasure of knowing in this life. This year is going to be about becoming an adult and making my way out of my mom's house and being on my own and figuring my future and my life out. I plan on moving across the country to the Washington /Oregon Seattle or forks or Portland or something because that's where i really feel like I belong and will thrive the most. I currently live in Alabama and there is nothing for me here except all the friends I've made. But I really feel like I want a fresh start somewhere completely new and amazing and meet many more new Amazing beautiful and live my life to the fullest. After Tonight I'm quitting all of my partying and drugs atleast until I get financially stable enough and atleast am moved out of my mom's house or am living on my own somewhere and I can afford to party and live my life a little so that will probably be when move to Seattle and weed and stuff is legal and it's more acceptable to be who I am up there. I'm quitting smoking weed for atleast like 2-3 months after today. Only reason I am not longer is because I smoke marijuana to medicate myself for my depression and anxiety and shit as opposed to prescription stuff because the stuff doctors give me just make me feel numb and not myself and I'm still low-key depressed. I'm only taking a break from weed to start saving up money and really try to focus and finding a place to move out to when I graduate around may and saving up to do so. Don't judge me but while I'm taking my few months off from smoking and I'm going to be selling a bit of bud to my close friends to make some extra money on the side because weed isn't quite legal here yet and it's a little difficult for my friends to get sometimes and it's going to help me out as a student who finds it hard to find a part time job that doesn't pay minimum wage (7.25 fuK THAT) and gives me decent hours it's always not enough hours for decent pay or they work me to FUCKING dEATH for shit pay and it stresses me out. I quit my recent job about a week and ago I'm started 2018 fresh with a new job starting pay a little above minimum wage at 8.50 an hour and after a few weeks I'll get a raise. They say I'll hopefully get decent hours like 25-35 a week and it's a small Japanese/ Asian/ pop culture shop owned by a Chinese lady that coincidentally has the same name as me and there's only like 3 other people that work there and they are all really cool good friends of mine that's I've met through cosplaying the past few years. So starting with a new hopefully better job. Starting off sober with my mind focussed on graduating cosmetology school and saving up money and working hard and getting my life together. The last thing I'll probably really spend money on and do for myself this year is Kami con at the end of this month. My family has helped get me different parts of my lapis lazuli (gem from Steven universe) cosplay for me as Christmas gifts and it is tradition that if at all possible I will do everything I can to attend each year and I have for the past 5 years and this year I will have my first legitimate good cosplay and I'm excited. But after that every bit of my money is to school tuition, helping my mom with the phone bill and our car insurance and groceries when she needs it and saving the rest for moving out and starting my future. When I move to Seattle and hopefully become successful enough? at cosmetology that I open my own salon that I'm hoping my unique edgy choice in hairstyles with be accepted and eventually apprentice as a tattoo artist and open a piercing/tattoo/body shop open up like with my salon that like a super weird dream of mine I had for awhile and honestly I'm probably not going to be good enough but I'm going work my ass off and be sober and focus on my future so I can reach my fullest potential I have been put through too much and made it way too far to not try and live my life to the best of my ability and do everything I can to really be happy and stable and eventually fall in love and maybe have a kid and honestly I truly believe I'm going to marry this boy that I've been on and off with since freshman year of highschool. We both lost out Virginity to each other after dating for the first like 6 months and that was the first time we dated which was almost 11 months after we broke up and went a little crazy and just kinda started dating random people not really for love just because I was so scared of being alone and I hated idea of it. So I just fucked around alot and never really had anything as serious as my dude (I don't wanna say his name but if u know me and ur reading this u probably already know who I'm talking anyways. We were distant and not even on speaking terms for maybe two years. After i grew up a bit and started actually making goals and becoming a young adult I contacted him and asked if he wanted to meet up and catch up on our lives and try to give being friends a shot. Its been maybe a little over a year since I had reached out and started talking to him again. We've tried dating again and we have been on an off since then and we both are young adults trying to figure out our lives and we are both struggling alot as far mental health because of the stress of having to grow up kinda and it just kept fucking up out relationship and my emotions were so all over the place and I was really struggling with trying to figure out what I need in life and how to be happy without have to rely on a relationship or drugs or material things. I had to learn how to enjoy the actual important things in my life like all the beautiful amazing people I've had the pleasure of knowing in this life and how to cut toxic people and thinks and places out of my life if it's affecting my mental health and over learned that it's ok to be sensitive and to want to take care of yourself and have a good mental health. I've learned how to just live in the moment and to surround myself with positive vibes and only be around good honest genuine people that actually care about me and want me to succeed. I want the people in my life now to be people that I know forever and people that are going to be there for me in future. Anyways Over those two years me and the boy didn't talk i never got over him matter how hard a tried and thought I was and that i could potentially be falling love with some one. I just cant. I am in love with him and always will be no matter what. If i still feel so happy and deeply in love with him after.he broke my heart and didn't talk to be for 2 years I know this man is meant to be apart my life forever weather it is as my lover or as one of my closest friends. We are soul mates and I know that I will absolutely love him completely and unconditonally for the rest of my life. Those two years when I wasn't with him kept failing my classes in high school freshman and sophomore and was extremely suicidal and didn't give and fuck about school and even went to the mental hospital for awhile towards the end of my sophomore year and at that point i literally thought I was so stupid and worthless and not even worth the effort of living and being such and disappointment to my family and my friends because I could pass one class in high school and I had given up. Until my counselor transferred me to a kind of alternative school that I could do everything at my own pace and only do the essentials and stuff I absolutely need to learn instead of busy work and stupid shit like public school. This place had no semesters or exams or grades. It has 4 different very well educated and super cool and awesome genuine teachers that actually care about helping you get the best education and they really do care about their students and they are so passionate about helping these kids actually learn and have an opportunity to have a future. Theres one teacher for each subject and 5 councilors that the 70-80 kids are divided between them and it was such an amazing really healing place and i met some really amazing people that year and learned alot about myself and started doing art therapy and I got my work done and realized I wasnt actually stupid like I had been so sure I was but I'm actually very intelligent I just have manic depression and severe social anxiety and I just needed to start working on myself and start making the effort to keep myself happy and actually work on my life and be the person I want to be. After that year during summer I made the decision not to go back to public school for what would have been my senior year so as soon as I was 17 I dropped out of high school and got my GED and I started cosmetology school at 17 years old before my graduating class even finished there senior year. My GED teacher was also a councilor and i became very close to her and she's honestly helped me make a future for myself and she supported me and saw how smart I was and she would help me no matter what and still to this day if in need to talk or need help with something i can call her and she will 100% help me because she is such a good and selfless and kind woman that genuinely cares about me and my future. It's rare that you meet teachers that actually help their kids . I honestly made the decision to do whats best for me and my mental health and i got my career and life started as early as I could because I'm determined to live my life to the best before I'm too old or die super young I'm some crazy way because honestly life is so short and way too short not to do everything u can to just really be the best you can be and enjoy life and do what makes u fuckin happy. So starting this year I am being sober so I can graduate school and work and save money and start my life as a young independent adult. My teenage years have been so wild and I've been through so much but it's I wouldn't trade these last few years. I've met so many kind beautiful amazing souls and I've learned so much about life and other people and relationships and I've learned about happiness within myself and I've learned alot about who I am and what it really want in life. I've learned alot about my mental illnesses and how to cope with them the best way possible for myself. I've had some of the best and most amazing adventures and i made so many amazing memories so despite the bullshit I've been through in my teenage years and all the stress of becoming a young adult in this super fucked up world we live in today I know that I have made it this far and I become stronger and better everyday and I'm thriving and finally getting where I want to be. I'm becoming more content with who I am and I'm learning to love myself and be who I am and I'm so happy with the person I becoming and I know I'm going to continue growing and thriving and becoming a beautiful and amazing person living the best life I can. This started out as a new years resolution post but im on alot of stuff right now and I felt like I needed to just write about stuff. Anyways. Happy new years yall here's to a fresh start and then beginning of my life as I figure out how to be my own person. 2018 is going to be so fucking good

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