#and I’m pretty sure it was July 2nd because that was when i decided to do the LOV Halloween Horror anthology

[scary-grace]

my computer is for barduil and erasermic, my phone is for increasingly unhinged x reader content

[xxblairexxss]

Jibber-jabber

Pairing : Mason Mount x reader

Theme : Fluff

This was so so so cute I had a blast writing it!

Your relationship with Mason wasn’t a secret amongst his fans. Two years ago, Mason asked you to be his girlfriend and a few months later, he uploaded a picture of you on his Instagram story which proved all those rumours that has been flying around to be true. His fans had found your social media way before Mason posted or confirmed anything and it was only because they saw Mason following you, a random girl with no more than 1000 followers and never missed to leave a like on every posts of yours though he never left any comments.

ynusername

Liked by masonmount and others

ynusername 🥐☕️

ynbestfriend miss uuuu

masonmmupdate you are soooo pretty

footballwagssoon mason’s gf??

rebeccaa__19 are you mason’s girlfriend? 🥹

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

masonmount has added to their story

12th June

ynusername has added to their story

2nd July

Even though everyone knew you were together and that you were no longer an unfamiliar face amongst the fans, you chose to keep it as private as you can. There would be an occasional pictures of you guys holding hands together or showing off your matching socks or a 2 seconds view of him in your Instagram story to which the fanpages would cut the part of the 15 seconds video and reposted it with the slow motion effect. It wasn’t because you were trying to hide anything or trying to be mysterious but it was because you wanted to use the social media platforms as your personal diary and no one stayed on one topic in their diary.

You had been staying at Mason’s house a lot this month as he tried to sort out his contract which meant he wasn’t at home that much so you would occasionally treat yourself on a solo date where you would took a stroll near the park or got yourself a coffee at the new coffee shop you came across. It was therapeutic sometimes to spend time with yourself.

But today, it was different. Mason asked you out to buy some stuffs at a department store. You told Mason that you wanted to do a vlog and that he didn’t have to be in it. He didn’t mind, of course but what he didn’t knew was that it wasn’t actually a vlog.

You already had your phone recording when you did your makeup earlier so as you talked thorough all the products that you were using, you decided to talk about the plan as well but in a whispering tone now. Not that Mason could hear but just to be safe. “So, we’re going out and I wanted to prank him. I’m gonna chatter about 20 random topics I could think about at one time and none of it are gonna make any sense. I’m not sure how he’s gonna react because he never gets annoyed with me so…”

“Babe, you ready?”

“Yeah!”

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

“So, I went to this one bakery the other day, yeah?”

Mason had his hand on your thigh, like he always did whenever he drives and nodded to your question. Your phone was propped against something on the car dash to record both you and Mason. You had asked him once again if he wanted to be in the camera and he said of course he wanted to be seen in the camera with his girlfriend.

“And I asked the worker which one was the best-selling and she said it was pain au chocolat but they had a new menu that made them won the— Oh! Do you know the history of pain au chocolat?”

Mason blinked, trying to catch up with you before shaking his head. “No, I don’t know but babe, what about the new menu?”

“Mase, listen! So August Zang..”

“Wait, who’s Zang?”

“The one who brought pain au chocolat to France! This is why you should listen.”

“Okay, baby, I’m listening.”

“Oh! And there was this cute dog that passed by—”

“Was it Zang’s dog?”

“….what? Mase…” You gave in and cackled at his question. “That doesn’t even make any sense!”

“Oh, yeah, tell me about it, princess.” He pinched on his furrowed brows, didn’t find this whole thing funny, in fact, it was kinda stressing him out but were you gonna stop? Not yet, of course so you continued.

“Then I felt like getting a green tea but there was a stranger that walked past me and the smell of coffee from the one that she was holding— the new menu was something to do with cranberry I think.”

“Okay, babe, are you okay?” He teared his eyes away from the road as the traffic light turned red and placed his hand on the side of your face.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Do you…want me to stop talking?” You leaned into his touch and trailed off.

“No, no. Keep talking. The topics are kinda complicated but I’ll manage. So, you were talking about the dog, yeah? No? Was it the coffee? Cranberry? Zang? Which one do you want start with?”

“I want to talk about the street art I saw…” You forlornly returned his gaze.

“Okay, I don’t mind adding one more topic. Let’s take it slow, okay? What about the street art?” Mason stroked his thumb against your jawline and took your hand in his. To him, you looked the most adorable when you talked. He had a hard time catching up, sure but he didn’t mind. The sight of you blabbering, the way you bit your lips to think off the next topic, the way your hands moved randomly with every words you said. He sworn he wouldn’t trade this moment with anything else. He was listening attentively but he also couldn’t stop gazing at you full of admiration. His precious girl.

To you, he didn’t look annoyed, didn’t look irritated. Of course, you wouldn’t be able to read his mind but the public could be the one to decide on that when you posted the video on your Tiktok.

[themultifandomgal]

Tyler Hoechlin- Our Love

Meeting The Family & Families Meet

2nd July 2011

Since we are on a break from filming Tyler and I decided that now is a good time to meet each other's family. Since we're still in Atlanta Tyler has been invited to my parents house for dinner. I drive us up the driveway, my mom opens the door before I even turn the car off, obviously she's been sat at the window waiting for us. I turn the car off as Tyler sighs

"Nervous?" I ask

"Yeah a little"

"Don't worry. My mom is pretty chill and my dad makes everyone his best friend. We best head in before mom starts knocking on the car doors" I chuckle opening it up and getting out of the care with Tyler following not far behind me

"Hi mom"

"Hi love"

"Mom this is Tyler, Tyler mom"

"Mrs YLN it's lovely to meet you" Tyler shakes moms hand after giving her some flowers

"Oh don't call me that, sounds way to formal. Call me YMN. Come on in dinner will be another 15 minutes. Your dads in the living room"

"Ok" I take Tyler's hand and walk him into the living room where my dad is watching baseball "dad, this is Tyler my boyfriend" dad slowly looks towards us not wanting to miss anything

"Well don't just stand there, sit. You like baseball?"

"Err yeah I used to play actual" Tyler nervously says sitting down

"What team?"

"I played at university, UC Irvine Anteaters. Haven't played for a while

"YN why don't you go get us all a beer"

“Sure dad” I lean down and kiss Tyler on the head before leaving for the kitchen.

Mom and I have to pry dad and Tyler away from the TV. They’re getting on like a house on fire which is amazing, not that I thought they wouldn’t. Tyler tells my parents about himself, we talk to them about Teen Wolf, Comic Con and anything else we think of. Dad and Tyler talk more about baseball.

6th July 2011

It’s now my turn to meet Tyler’s parents and siblings. We had to get a flight from Atlanta to LA. I’m super nervous, not only about meeting Tyler’s parents, but the fact we will be staying over at their house it’s terrifying to me. We’re currently in the Uber on the way to his parents house. Tyler places his hand on my knee which I now realise is jiggling up and down with nerves

“Sorry” I breathe out

“You’ll be fine, promise”

“What if they don’t like me?”

“They will” Tyler then takes my hand in his, lacing our fingers together and gives it a squeeze.

When we arrive we walk up the drive. Tyler gives me one last squeeze before knocking on the door. Holding on to our shared bag. We only have to wait a moment before the door swings open and we are invited in

“YN this is my mom Lori, my dad Don, older brother Travis, older sister Carrie and then the youngest Tanner” I shake hands with everyone

“Hi it’s nice to meet you all”

“It’s nice to finally meet you as well” Lori says smiling

“Yeah. Tyler’s not shut up about you. Feel like I have already met you” Carrie chuckles

“Oh really?” I raised an eyebrow at Tyler who looks sheepish

“Let’s go and get a drink?” Tyler moves me further into the house to the kitchen “what would you like?”

“Just a soda will do”

“So YN do you have any siblings?” Lori asks

“No I’m an only child”

“Must be nice” Tanner shouts from the living room. Tyler rolls his eyes

“Alright thank you” Tyler shouts back handing me a drink

“Thanks”

“How did your parents get on with Tyler”

“I think my dads in love” I joke “they definitely bonded over baseball”

“Your dads a fan?” Don asks

“Most definitely”

“What about you?”

“I enjoy watching it, I’d happily go to a game but my dads on another level”

I don’t know why I was so nervous meeting Tyler’s family. Don cooked us a meal in the evening which was so good! We drank, played a few card games before we all went to bed.

27th July 2011

I wake up the the smell of food cooking. Slowly I get out of bed and head to the kitchen where Tyler is stood at the stove shirtless, because I’m wearing it

“Morning” I sleepily say

“Good morning. Happy birthday baby”

“Thank you” I smile sitting down at the island in my kitchen top

“I have the whole day planed” Tyler places a plate of food in front of me

“Ooo have you?”

“I have. First your going to eat your breakfast, we’re going to take a shower…”

“We’re?” I raise my eyebrows

“Yes we are. Then we’re going to have a romantic walk in the park before we head to dinner, then this evening we’re going for a few drinks with your parents and mine”

“Your parents are coming?” I ask gobsmacked

“They were the ones to ask. Plus they wanted to meet your parents”

“Holy shit this is like serious” I now realise. Mine and Tyler’s relationship is getting to the serious stage, panic sets in, are we moving to fast?

“Hey” I look at Tyler who takes my face in his hands “calm down. I know your overthinking right now”

“Sorry”

When our parents meet they thankfully both get on really well. Everything just feels so real. Like obviously our relationship is real, but now it’s almost solidified. Everyone knows, except our fans, guess we will have to do that soon, but for now we are happy just being in our own little bubble and something about hiding this from the public is kinda exciting.

[fridayfirefly]

Two Birds [Part One]

Read Two Birds on AO3

Masterlist [All Works]

Masterlist [Two Birds Series]

Written for Maribat March Day 14 - Dead

Nine-year-old Marinette Dupain-Cheng peeked around the legs of her Grandma Gina to look up at the circus tent. Framed by the setting sun, it looked grand and magnificent, but Marinette still would rather have stayed at home. "We'll be staying here?"

"Not inside the circus tent, silly. There are trailers around back that the performers sleep in. That's where we'll be staying."

Marinette scuffed her shoes against the ground, watching the dust kick up. "Why couldn't we just stay at home?"

"We have to experience new things, Marinette - that's what makes life worth living when you're old like me."

"I don't want to try new things and I don't want to stay with strangers. I just want to stay at home."

"It's only three days, sweetheart. Just trust me. You'll have fun."

Marinette pouted but nodded anyway. "Fine." Marinette loved her Grandma Gina, who brought her gifts from all around the world and told her stories of her travels. However, Marinette didn't like when her parents made Gina babysit. Gina refused to babysit Marinette at home and instead took Marinette on her travels with her. Marinette didn't like traveling, especially when it meant she had to stay with strangers. She much preferred her own bed to the bed of a stranger.

"Gina Dupain!" exclaimed a smiling man, walking out of the circus tent.

"Walter Haly! How are things in the circus business?"

"Worse without you, my lovely Gina. Please tell me you'll perform while you're staying with us."

Gina smiled but shook her head. "I'm too old for the trapeze, Walter. But maybe I can convince this little one to try it out." Gina pushed Marinette out in front of her.

"Oh! Who is this?"

"My granddaughter, Marinette."

Haly knelt down to get to Marinette's height. "How old are you, Marinette?"

Marinette stared down at her shoes, scuffed up brown with dust. "I'm nine years old."

"Do you want to try out the trapeze?"

Marinette vigorously shook her head. "I'm scared of heights."

"Well, we'll see about that. A lot can change in three days." Haly got up and led Marinette and Grandma Gina around behind the tent to the trailers.

Marinette knew that if her mother was there, she would be scolded for being rude, but she couldn't help it. She didn't want to stay at the circus. She wanted to stay in her room, play Ultra Mecha Strike with Kim, and sneak cookies from the bakery when Gina wasn't looking.

Haly pointed to a baby-blue colored trailer. "Gina, you'll be staying on Clarise's couch - you remember Clarise, right."

Grandma Gina nodded. "Clarise was the redhead, right? The sword-swallower?"

"That's the one. Now, her couch only has room for one, so Marinette will be staying with the Graysons. They have a son - Richard - who's her age." Haly pointed out a trailer painted with green and yellow stripes.

Marinette grabbed onto Gina's hand. "I want to stay with you, Grandma Gina."

Gina shook her head. "You have to stay with the Graysons. But don't worry sweetheart, you'll have a lot of fun."

Marinette sighed and dragged her feet as she walked to the trailer. Of all the weekend that her parents left town to go to a pastry exhibition, it had to be the weekend that the circus that Grandma Gina once performed at was in town. Marinette knocked twice on the door and waited for it to open. A pretty woman with dark hair and kind eyes opened up the door and started speaking in perfect French. "Oh, hello! You must be little Marinette."

"Yes ma'am," Marinette mumbled.

"Come inside sweetheart." The woman led Marinette into the trailer. It was cramped and messy, but obviously well-loved. The walls were painted periwinkle and the curtains covering the window were orange with blue butterflies. "You don't have to call me ma'am, it makes me feel old. I'm Mary, and this is my husband John."

John was sitting on the couch, mending a tear in a crimson red leotard. "Hello, Marinette. Welcome to Haly's Circus."

"Hi."

Mary started leading Marinette to a door. "This is our son Dick's room, where you'll be sleeping. We set up an air mattress on the floor. You can drop your backpack off in there. Dick will be showing you tomorrow, keeping you out of trouble."

"Okay."

Dick was sitting on the bed when Marinette walked into the room, reading a comic book. Marinette waved shyly, "Hello, I'm Marinette."

"I'm Dick, Dick Grayson."

"Which comic book is that?" asked Marinette, leaning forward to get a good look at the title.

"It's an American comic book about this superhero named Ant-Man. He can shrink super small or grow super huge. He's really cool."

"Could I read it?" asked Marinette.

"Sure. I even have the first one on my bookshelf. I have comic books for nearly all of the Marvel superheroes."  As Marinette read, Dick explained the backstories of all of his favorite superheroes and why he owned so many of the comics. "I want to be a superhero someday. If I were a superhero, I would want to be able to fly for real, not just on the trapeze.

Just then, Marinette noticed a poster up on the wall. Visit Haly's Circus to watch the amazing Flying Grayson trapeze family. On the poster were three silhouettes of trapeze artists. "That's you on the poster, isn't it?"

"Yep. I've been doing trapeze since I was seven, and I'm ten now, so that's three whole years. I only got to start performing last month, though." Dick hopped off of his bed and sat down on the air mattress, facing Marinette. "While you're here, are you gonna learn how to do trapeze?"

Marinette shook her head. "I can't. It's too scary."

"But trapeze isn't even scary," protested Dick.

"Maybe not for you, but you do it all the time. I've never done it before and I'm scared of heights."

"Hmm. How about, if you try out the trapeze, I'll do something that scares me, too."

"What would you do?"

Dick stopped to think it over, his face scrunched up in a way that Marinette found both cute and worrisome, given that he was thinking over ways to get her to face her greatest fear of all time. "I know! If you learn trapeze, I'll learn to swim."

"No way! Swimming is way easier than trapeze."

"Not for me!" said Dick indignantly. "I've never been able to swim. But I'll learn how if you learn how to do trapeze."

"I don't know..." Dick was so enthusiastic about the plan that Marinette wanted to say yes, yet there was a lingering fear that held her back.

"Trust me, Marinette. In three days you'll be flying like a bird, and I'll be swimming like a fish."

"Oh, alright. I'll try it."

"Great! Now, I still have a question for you: if you could have any power, what would it be."

"Invisibility," decided Marinette, "That way when I'm late to school, I can slip into the classroom without my teacher noticing."

"Good choice. Now it's your turn to ask a question."

Dick and Marinette stayed up late that night, reading comics and asking each other questions. By morning, Marinette knew that Dick's favorite color was blue, his favorite cookie was chocolate with chocolate chips, his favorite comic book hero was Hawkeye (because he doesn't have any powers, but still manages to be a superhero), and his favorite circus animal performer was Zitka the Elephant. Dick was nine months older than Marinette, his birthday being October 2nd as opposed to her July 28th birthday.

"It's time to teach you how to do trapeze!" announced Dick as soon as breakfast was over.

"We offered to watch over you today while Gina catches up with her friends," explained Mary. "Now, I know that you're afraid of heights, and I'm not going to force you to do anything that you don't want, but I think it would be a good experience to try trapeze. I promise you, it's completely safe."

"I'll try it."

Dick grinned. "We made a deal last night. If Marinette learns how to do trapeze then I have to learn how to swim."

John raised one eyebrow. "I thought that you swore off swimming for as long as you live."

"I changed my mind. Marinette has to learn how to do trapeze."

Mary and John were both smiling as they exchanged a look. Mary cleared her throat, then said, "Alright. Marinette, I'll get you a leotard, and then you can get dressed."

Given that they were approximately the same size, Dick would be partnered up with Marinette to guide her through the trapeze while she was in the air. Dick and John went ahead to get Dick in position before Marinette started. However, by the time Mary and Marinette got to the circus tent, Marinette was having second thoughts. While her new white leotard was cute, the thought of plummeting to her death while attempting to do trapeze was much less cute. "I'm not so sure about this."

"Marinette, I promise that there is no way you can get hurt. We'll have you strapped into a harness the whole time."

Marinette looked up at Mary, "You promise?"

As she looked up at Mary, the one thing that Marinette's anxious brain noticed was that the older woman had very trustworthy eyes. "Yes, I promise."

Marinette took a deep breath. "Then I want to learn how to do trapeze."

Mary smiled. "Good. Now, the first thing we need to do is get you into your harness. It will be connected to lunge lines to keep you safe in case you fall off the ladder. Then you'll climb the ladder to the top, and we'll attach you to more safety lines. At any point, no matter what happens, you'll be safe if you fall."

Mary helped Marinette into the harness, re-explaining everything as she went along. "Once you get to the top of the ladder, John will guide you through. Dick will be on the other side, mirroring everything you do, and showing you what to do next if you need help. Got it?"

"Yep. Got it." Now, all Marinette had to do was climb the ladder - the extremely tall, extremely scary ladder.

Mary put her hand on Marinette's shoulder. "You can do this, sweetheart. There will be things in life that you're scared of, and sometimes the only way to move forward is to face those fears."

Marinette smiled up at Mary. "Thank you." She got up onto the first rung of the ladder, then the second, then the third, making sure to look up at her destination instead of down at the ground.

"Good job," said John, as Marinette climbed up onto the platform next to him. "Now I'm just going to clip you into the safety lines and unclip you from the lunge lines. There's a specific set of commands that will tell you when to go. Dick is catching you, so he'll say 'Listo' when he's built up enough height in his swing. You then will say 'Listo' when you grab hold of the fly bar. Dick will tell you 'Ready' when you need to prepare to jump, and 'Hep' is the command to jump. When you get to the peak of your swing, Dick will yell "Hep" again. That's your signal to let go of the bar. Dick will grab your hands with his, and swing you back over to the other platform, where Mary will be there to help you back onto the platform. Are you ready?"

Marinette nodded, gazing at the trapeze setup with determination. "I'm ready."

Marinette watched Dick as he took off, holding his fly bar. As he swung, he transitioned from being upright, holding the bar with his hands, to being upside down, holding the bar under his knees, his hands free to catch her. "Listo!" Dick called out.

Marinette grabbed onto the fly bar. "Listo!"

"Ready!"

Marinette bent her knees and took a deep breath.

"Hep!"

Marinette jumped off the platform, swinging on the fly bar as the wind whipped in her face. It was exhilarating. Her fear of heights was the last thing on her mind as she watched the colors of the circus tent fly by. Marinette suddenly understood what Dick meant, when he told her that he wished to be able to fly. She felt incredible, and she never wanted the feeling to end.

"Hep!" Dick called again as he swung closer and closer to her.

Marinette let go. At the same instant, Dick's hands clasped around hers, and she was swinging with him.

"How does it feel?" asked Dick.

"Amazing!" Marinette cheered as they swung back to Dick's platform.

Mary was there to grab Marinette out of Dick's grasp, pulling her firmly onto the platform. Dick flipped himself upright and did a backflip up onto the platform. "Ta-da! How did I do as my first time as a catcher?"

"The both of you did very well. You were an excellent catcher, Dick, and you were a natural flyer, Marinette. I can see the two of you being able to pull off some exceptional stunts someday, if you were to continue trapeze, Marinette."

"I want to. I really do."

Marinette was eager to get back onto the trapeze as soon as possible, but Mary insisted that they stop for lunch first. As they walked out of the circus tent, Marinette pulled Dick aside and whisper-shouted, "That was your first time as a catcher and you didn't think to tell me?"

Dick shrugged, a mischievous smile spreading on his face. "I thought it would make you more nervous."

Marinette spluttered, "You- you-"

"Dick?" suggested Dick with a straight face.

The pair burst into instantaneous laughter, so hard they were gasping for breath as they made their way back to the Grayson's trailer.

------

The next three days passed in a blur. Every morning, Dick and Marinette would start their day on the trapeze. Dick guided Marinette through more and more advanced maneuvers, working as a team to accomplish amazing feats. Every minute they spent together up on the trapeze, Marinette could feel the connection between them growing. After a few hours up on the trapeze, Marinette and Dick would get down, get lunch, and explore the campsite. Marinette got to meet Zitka the Elephant and her calf, Nadia, both of whom were rescued from a roadside petting zoo in Texas and given to Haly after they were deemed too domesticated to be released back into the wild.

Marinette and Dick would get back on the trapeze in the afternoon until Mary and John called them for supper. Then, the circus would perform. Marinette would watch The Flying Graysons perform, amazed by how effortless they made it look. After the performance, Marinette would shower Dick with praise as they walked back to the trailer. Dick pretended that he wasn't flattered, but Marinette could see how much it meant to him, to hear it from her. Though they hadn't known each other for very long at all, there was instant platonic chemistry between the two of them.

Grandma Gina made herself scarce over the weekend, spending most of her time with her old friends from her circus days. However, she always made sure to stop in to watch Marinette on the trapeze, taking pictures to show Tom and Sabine when the couple returned to Paris.

The weekend felt like it lasted both three years and three minutes at the same time; nevertheless, Sunday night still came, and Marinette had to say goodbye.

"I'll just run away with the circus," said Marinette, sitting on the air mattress, staring at her fully packed backpack. "Mary and John would take me in."

Dick shook his head. "They would never allow it, no matter how good you are at trapeze."

Marinette sighed. "I'm really going to miss you."

Dick sighed as well, leaning his head against Marinette's. "This really sucks." After a moment of silently commiserating their terrible fortune, Dick suddenly jumped up. "I know! We can send letters to each other to keep in touch. And I can send you comic books when you need new ones to read."

"But the circus moves around constantly. Where will I send the letters to?"

"I have the schedule of everywhere that we'll be for the next six months. You'll just have to send the letters so that they reach the right destination at the right time."

"That means I can still talk to you!"

And suddenly, goodbye was a lot easier to bear.

------

Haly's Circus performed in Paris twice a year - once in January and once in July - meaning that Marinette and Dick had very little time to spend together in person. However, they did write to each other. Dick would send postcards from all the places he visited and Marinette invested in good stationery to write her letters on. Dick would mail over American comic books, carefully folded and stuffed into envelopes. Marinette would send back handmade patches for Dick to sew onto his leotard. They would write about all the details of their lives that they never mentioned to anyone else. Dick told Marinette that sometimes he wished that he could have had a normal childhood all in one place, but then he would think about all the people and places he would have never met and regret ever wanting anything else. Marinette told Dick that sometimes she worried that no matter how hard she worked to be interesting and funny and worthwhile, she would never be enough for the people around her.

Worried that she would forget how to do trapeze during the six months before Haly's circus returned, Marinette convinced her parents to let her attend the one gymnastics studio in Paris that offered trapeze. They were reluctant at first, worried that Marinette could get hurt, but after a thorough overview of the safety precautions, they finally relented. It was a thirty-minute metro ride, but it was worth it when she got up on the trapeze. Marinette quickly became friends with the other students her age at the studio. Alan, Allegra, and Claude were all two years older than her and lived on the other side of Paris, but they still made time to hang out with Marinette both inside and outside of the studio.

As Marinette grew more and more skilled at trapeze, she decided to try some similar sports. She split her free time between the studio, where she worked on developing her skills at trapeze, gymnastics, and aerial silks, and home, where she worked on designing and creating clothes. It was ambitious for a ten-year-old, but Marinette was determined. She loved trapeze and loved making her own clothes, and she loved those two things equally. She could never give one up, and could barely bring herself to prioritize one over the other when her free time grew scarce.

Marinette had her purpose in life: chasing the feeling of flying as far as it could go and creating things out of nothing but her own imagination. She had all the friends she could ever need, but most important to her was Dick, who, despite their distance, seemed closer to her than anyone else.

------

It was a Thursday, the day that Marinette's world ended. It was sunny and unusually warm for October. For Marinette, the day started off entirely normally. She went to school, ate lunch with Kim and Alix, went to the trapeze studio after school to work on a new trapeze routine, got hot cocoa with Alan, Allegra, and Claude afterward, then went home.

It was the 31st of October, the day that Marinette learned of the deaths of Mary and John Grayson. Mary, with her kind eyes, and John, with his crooked smile, were gone forever. Dick was an orphan.

Marinette was only eleven years old, the day that she learned the details of their deaths. They were on the trapeze, performing the closing act of the Gotham show. Dick was up on the platform, too young for the stunt they were performing. The ropes were cut halfway through. John reached out to catch Mary, going through the motions of a trick they had performed so often it would have felt as natural as breathing for them. John caught Mary. John's ropes snapped. They both plummeted, clipped the edge of the safety nets, going too fast, hitting the ground too hard, dead before the ambulances got there. Marinette couldn't help but picture the bodies of mangled birds that died when they hit the window too hard. Marinette pictured broken bones and broken hearts and in her grief, the only person she wanted was Dick. As much as she was hurting, she knew his grief overwhelmed her. Marinette needed to comfort him. Marinette knew her friend needed her.

Yet, no matter how hard Marinette tried (and she tried so hard, because it was the only thing that gave her any relief from the burning pain in her chest) she couldn't get in touch with Dick. Haly told her that Dick was taken in by Gotham's CPS, and they refused to provide any information about him to the circus. Although the circus was his second home, Gotham refused to return Dick. Haly's Circus was deemed an unfit home. Dick would never be returned.

Every day for months Marinette called Gotham's CPS and begged for any information about her lost friend. She pleaded with them that all she wanted to do was be able to send him a letter. But each time, she was refused.

Three months passed, and by the end of those three months, Marinette felt like her heart had been drained out of her. She had lost Mary and John Grayson, who had taught her not only trapeze but how to overcome fear and be brave. She lost Dick too, but in a different way. There was no way to get in contact with Dick again, and Marinette knew that couldn't spend her whole life mourning the friendship she had lost. She knew that she had to accept it and move on. Still, Marinette never stopped missing him.

Marinette could never quite forget Dick. She remembered him every time she got up on the trapeze, every time she made a new patch that she couldn't send to him, every time she sampled a new pastry for the bakery that she knew he would have loved, every time something big happened and her first instinct was to send a letter about it to him.

Five years without him and Dick still lingered on the edge of her mind. Five years without him and Marinette knew that she would never be at peace until she saw him again.

[homeformyheart]

2021 summary of writing

this is cool reflection exercise, thanks @wayhavenots for the tag! since it’s pretty much the end of the year, i’m not sure who’s done this already. will tag a few mutuals but really, if you want to do it, please feel free to tag me!

@amlovelies; @risualto; @hunnybadgerv; @taliaferros;

January: simply be mine (twc) ft. adam du mortain x regina bishop; my 2nd twc fic ever and first one of the new year

February: desserts (twc) ft. felix hauville x harley bishop; this was the first fic in the #28dateswithunitbravo challenge hosted by @/wayhavenmonthly. i’m still super proud i was able to keep up with the entire month 💖

March: bucket list (twc) ft. all 6 of my pairings; this was inspired by some mutuals on our discord server. after all the february fluff, i wanted to write some angst 🤓

April: “cuddle me” (mind blind) ft. rosy kim x ivy park wiseman; i ignore canon for this pairing, and got to explore including aspects of my korean culture into this short piece about their married life 😊

May: permission (mind blind oc) ft. nick wiseman x nora mcconnell; i also ignore canon so i can put my oc in this universe and show how afraid she is to fall in love. this was a one-shot written for @wayhavenots and @anotherbeingsworld who tirelessly ship my beloved nora. (i’m still working on the full series, i promise!)

June: best vs. worst game (choices - my first two loves) ft. noah harris x mc; my choices inspiration had pretty much run dry by this point and i had several unfinished WIPs/ideas for my MTFL pairing, but when i got this request i felt like i could incorporate all my ideas into this one-shot and feel good about letting go of my WIPs 🥰

July: nightmares (choices - the elementalists) ft. beckett harrison x mc; this was the only fic i posted all month and it was a request. after july, my writing went downhill due to irl events 🤷‍♀️

August: sign here (mind blind) ft. rosy kim x ivy park - 18+; first MB smut fic and it happened to be the only thing i was able to finish this month

September: no feelings (twc) ft. mason x ria knight; i decided to just end a WIP i was holding on to that was 90% finished because i couldn’t decide on the resolution. i’m still happy with this as is though, even if the ending is open-ended.

October: 😭 had some writer’s block combined with a hectic project

November: i spent most of this month attempting to use nanowrimo to write more of my nick x nora series, but ended up stopping halfway through because work got super busy

December: my project never lightened up so here we are 🎊🎉

[jbbarnesnnoble]

JBBarnesNNoble's 2nd Annual Mental Health Awareness Month Challenge 2021

Hello lovely people! And welcome to the 2nd Annual Mental Health Awareness Month Writing Challenge. The aim of this challenge is to shine a light on mental health, medical conditions, and the things that can have impacts on us. This started out initially being a PCOS Awareness challenge last year but through conversations with other writers over Discord, it evolved into a Mental Health Awareness Month Writing Challenge last year. I’m reusing some of the unused prompts from last year’s challenge and adding in some new ones!

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. The goal of this challenge is to lift each other up, and show that it’s okay not to be okay. Spread some love and light during a challenging time in the world to those who struggle with chronic illness, depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, grief, PCOS, acceptance from their families and communities for being LGBT+, and anyone struggling with insecurity.

This challenge will run through July 31st, 2021. It will run through Mental Health Awareness Month, Pride Month, and the month of July to give people time to write. You can submit it at any time. I probably have too many prompts, but I wanted to ensure that there was a wide array to choose from. Please don’t hesitate to message me if I haven’t interacted with your fic after a few days! Sometimes the tag system doesn’t work and I miss things!

The Rules:

1. Utilize resources available online if you’re dealing with subject matter you’re not that familiar with. I’m not going to go all “cite sources” on y’all, but please do make sure to do your research. Writing about some of these issues can be hard if you don’t have first hand knowledge of how it can affect you. The goal of this challenge is to write about topics that we tend to shy away from, that many of us struggle with, from mental health struggles to chronic illnesses to low-self esteem. A gentle reminder that if you think writing about a subject will be triggering for you, please look after yourself first.

2. Use #JBBNNMHAM21 to tag your fic

3. Dark!Fic- Due to the subject matter involved in this challenge, please don’t submit dark!fic. I enjoy dark fics, but this challenge isn’t the place for them.

4. Smut- Smut is welcome! Make sure you tag it appropriately.

5. No inc*st, dubcon/noncon, underage, etc

6. Ships- I prefer reader inserts, but show me what ya got.

7. NO JOHN WALKER FICS. Please. Please no. I beg of you.

8. Selecting Prompts: Just let me know which one you want to do! 2 people per prompt! The song prompts have a line from them under it. You DO NOT need to use the line in your submission! It’s mostly to help you decide if you’re interested in a song before you take a listen to it.

You also can alter the sentence and dialogue prompts as needed for grammar, be it altering the pronouns used or changing the pluralization of a word.

9. Trigger Warnings: Use warnings as needed. Fics dealing with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, or other mental health issues should be tagged appropriately to ensure that readers that may be triggered by the subject matter can avoid the fic. Trigger warnings are non-negotiable

The prompts are under the cut!

Prompts:

Dialogue Prompts:

“I feel like if I let go, if I move on, I’ll only be proving them right.”

“I don’t know. Am I? Because from where I’m standing it’s pretty damn clear that’s how you see me.”

“You don’t believe that do you? Tell me you don’t. Please.”

“It’d probably be easier if you left”

“Please leave me alone”

“Everyone’s got broken pieces. Some have more, some have less. It doesn’t make you less of a person to have those broken pieces.” @nekoannie-chan

“If it’s okay with you, I’ll take that shake now.”

“What’s the point if I’m going to end up breaking that promise too?”

“You sure about that, moonman?”

“It made you smile though. And that will always be a win in my book.”

“That’s not true. And I will tell you that every day of your life until you believe me.”

Sentence Prompts:

Feel free to adjust the pronouns as needed

It was a day. It was the only way it could be described.

Summer had a smell that reminded her of innocence and a time long since past.

In that moment, the world stopped spinning on its axis as it all shattered down around her.

Some things, there would never be a way to understand. @justrunamok

Like shattered glass, in that moment the illusion was broken.

Forever was a lie, just like everything else.

If you had another condescending doctor tell you your problem wasn’t a problem you were going to scream.

They’d say it was easy, like riding a bike. Except, you never learned how to ride a bike in the first place.

Today was going to be good. It had to be.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that this was going south.

AU and Trope Prompts:

Soulmate @samsgoddess

College

Childhood Friends @tellmealovestory

Friends to Lovers

Enemies to Lovers

Musicians

Writer

Professional Athlete

Teacher

Coffee Shop

Fake Dating

Accidental Marriage

Royal

Librarian

Doctor

Song Prompts:

1. Nobody Ever Told You - Carrie Underwood

Lyric Snippet: “Wish you could see yourself the way I do. Nobody ever told you, nobody ever told you. Shine like a diamond, glitter like gold, and you need to know what nobody ever told you”

2. Missing You - All Time Low

Lyric Snippet: “And if you need a friend, I’ll help you stitch up your wounds. I heard that you’ve been, having some trouble finding your place in the world. I know how much that hurts. But if you need a friend, then please just say the word.”

3. Barefoot and Bruised - Jamestown Story

Lyric Snippet: “Maybe when your sky comes crashing down, I can be your angel on the ground. If you get tired and can’t go on, I will carry you along, when the rocks below your feet wear out your shoes, when you’re barefoot and bruised”

4. Hold On Till May- Pierce the Veil

Lyric Snippet: “If were you, I’d put that away. See you’re just wasted and thinking about the past again. Darling, you’ll be okay.”

5. If I Surrender - Citizen Soldier

Lyric Snippet: “If I surrender, surrender, to the monsters in me, will it set me free?”

6. Home - Machine Gun Kelly, X Ambassadors, Beba Rexha

Lyric Snippet: “All these miles, feet, inches, they can’t add up to the distance that I have been through just to get to a place where even if there’s no closure I’m still safe. I still ache from trying to keep pace. Somebody give me a sign, I’m starting to lose faith”

7. Broken Arrows - Daughtry

Lyric Snippet: “The best of intentions I lay at your feet. And I need you to see past the worst part of me.”

8. Used - Serious Matters

Lyric Snippet: “The wounds are gone and the pain still lingers. But this time I won’t stand by, I don’t need you in my life”

9. According to You - Orianthi

Lyric Snippet: “According to you, I’m stupid, I’m useless, I can’t do anything right”

10. Let It Land - Tonight Alive

Lyric Snippet: “And everything we hate is something we just bought along the line”

11. Cold As You - Taylor Swift

Lyric Snippet: “You put up walls and paint them all a shade of grey. And I stood there loving you and wished them all away. And you come away with a great little story, of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you”

12. Tied Together with a Smile - Taylor Swift

Lyric Snippet: “Hold on, baby you’re losing it. The water’s high, you’re jumping into it, and letting go, and no one knows. That you cry but you don’t tell anyone that you might not be the golden one. And you’re tied together with a smile, but you’re coming undone.”

13. Human Interaction - Tonight Alive

Lyric Snippet: “I don’t know love. I don’t know hate. I am numb. Wish I could find the words to say. Asking please, as colors fade. I need to breathe. Before I turn the world to grey.”

14. Therapy - All Time Low

Lyric Snippet: “Give me therapy, I’m a walking travesty, but I’m smiling at everything. Therapy you were never a friend to me, and you can keep all your misery”

15. Scars - Alison Iraheta

Lyric Snippet: “Do you know how hard I’ve tried to become what you want me to be. Take me, this is all that I’ve got, this is all that I’m not, all that I’ll ever be. I got flaws, I got faults, keep searching for your perfect heart. It doesn’t matter who you are, we’ve all got our scars”

16. Hurts to Know - 1551

Lyric Snippet: “I can’t remember what I did to earn you by my side. I can’t surrender. I’ll fight as long as you’re in my life”

17. Spinning Bottles - Carrie Underwood

Lyric Snippet: “He’s in a hotel room, with the tv on. Getting lost in the static with the curtains drawn, knowing this could be the time that gets her gone for good, he’d quit if he could. But one down, two down, three down, four, can’t even recognize the man in the mirror anymore”

18. Praying - Kesha

Lyric Snippet: “Well you were wrong and now the best is yet to come. ‘Cause I can make it on my own. And I don’t need you, I found a strength I’ve never known.”

19. Jersey On the Wall (I’m Just Asking) - Tenille Townes

Lyric Snippet: “If I ever get to heaven, you know I got a long list of questions. Like how do you make a snowflake, are you angry when the earth quakes? How does the sky change in a minutes, how do you keep this big rock spinning? Why can’t you stop a car from crashing? Forgive me, I’m just asking”

20. Five More Minutes - Scotty McCreery

Lyric Snippet: “Time rolls by, the clock don’t stop. I wish I had a few more drops of the good stuff, the good times. Oh, but they just keep on flying right on by like it ain’t nothing, wish I had me a, a pause button. Moments like those, Lord knows I’d hit it. Give myself five more minutes”

21. Dad’s Old Number - Cole Swindell

Lyric Snippet: “Sometimes I forget, these ten digits ain’t my lifeline anymore. Every now and then I dial them up when life gets tough or when the Braves score. Sorry about the one ring hang ups, early morning and late night wake ups. It was just me. In case you wondered, you’ve got dad’s old number.”

22. The Other Side - Lauren Alaina

Lyric Snippet: “There’s gonna be a lot of sadness on a lot of happy days, I’ll try to think of this moment, this place”

23. I Was Here - Beyonce

Lyric Snippet: “So they won’t forget I was here. I lived. I loved. I was here. I did, I’ve done, everything that I wanted and it was more than I thought it would be. I will leave my mark so everyone will know I was here.”

24. Gone Too Soon - Simple Plan

Lyric Snippet: “Like a shooting star, flying across the room. So fast, so far, you were gone too soon. You’re a part of me. And I’ll never be the same here without you. You were gone too soon.”

25. Amelia - Tonight Alive

Lyric Snippet: “And you will always be perfect, you’ll always be beautiful, our hearts, will never forget you. You didn’t belong here, and it’s become so clear why heaven called your name.”

26. Heaven Right Now - Thomas Rhett

Lyric Snippet: “When the whole crew gets together, memory lane goes on forever. We twist a top and pour a little Jack D out.”

[emsylcatac]

Oh man, really appreciating the extra French cultural insight on ML, so thank you for all of your elucidating! Have you made any posts covering common school events/milestones, and/or how teens tend to celebrate holidays in Paris? I know exams are different and that proms aren't really a thing, and the show has given us some insight into field trips (not too different), but do you know of anything else fandom tends to miss?

Heya!! :D

Thanks for your feedback & you’re very welcome!!

I haven’t done any post regarding school events or holidays yet, so let’s do that now!

School events/milestones:

First just a quick explanation of the French scholar system:

Maternelle (= Kindergarten): 3 years, from 3-4yo to 5-6yo – Petite section · Moyenne section · Grande section

Primaire (= Primary school): 5 years, from 6-7yo to 10-11yo – CP · CE1 · CE2 · CM1 · CM2

Collège (= Secondary school | Junior high school): 4 years, from 11-12yo to 14-15yo – 6ème (said sixième) · 5ème (cinquième) · 4ème (quatrième) · 3ème (troisième) – school start around 8:30am and ends around 4:30pm, with 1h lunch-break and 15min break in the morning & afternoon. – except on Wednesday ends around 11:30 or 12:30.

Lycée (= High school): 3 years, from 15-16yo to 17-18yo – 2nd (said seconde) · 1ère (première) · Tale (terminale) – Same about breaks & lunch breaks & start of school, but usually ends around 5:30pm. – except on Wednesday ends around 11:30 or 12:30 (or if you’re unlucky like I was the school organises exams on Wednesday afternoon from 2 to 4h straight but most schools have free Wednesdays afternoon)

Currently, Marinette & Adrien are in their finale year of ‘collège’ so in ‘3ème’ (called ‘troisème’).

So about major end-of the year exams:

End of 3ème (around the end of June usually): ‘Brevet’ – it’s a national exam and every student in the whole France have the same examination questions. They have to revise courses they had during the whole year and can be pretty much interrogated on anything they’ve learned. One exam per subject. Writing exam subjects are: French, Mathematics (main ones), History/Geography, Sciences (with Physics/Chemistry and/or Earth&Life Sciences and/or Technology). Added to that, they have an oral exam. It’s about Art History or a project they’ve conducted throughout the year (alone or in groups, however they get an individual score) Side note: this one is pretty ‘easy’ to have and you really need to want to fail to actually fail. It also takes into account the general score you have during the year and allows you to have a few points in advance. For instance, I was a good student and my general score was high enough for me to have enough points to already have the ‘brevet’ before even taking up the exam. It’s usually the case if your general score is equal or above 16/20 I think)

End of Terminale (around mid-June): ‘Baccalauréat’ – it’s again a national exam but much more important. You can’t pursue your studies if you haven’t passed it and will need to repeat the Terminale year. Subjects vary depending the course students chose when they entered their “1ère” year (it’s kind of a lot to explain everything there especially because the system have completely changed this year and teachers & parents are complaining about it, so I’m going to quickly talk about the ‘old’ system where basically you chose between scientific course, economic & social course or arts course; there’s others but those were the main ones). Again, you need to revise everything you’ve learned throughout the year and can be interrogated on anything. There’s writing exams as well as oral exams and practical exams (for sciences).Side note: Contrary to the ‘brevet’ this one is harder to get. I’m not saying it’s super hard, but students with school difficulties can fail even if they worked for it. Only the score you get at this exam is taken into account, not the general score you got during the year so you can’t “have” your Baccalauréat before taking up the exam.

End of 1ère: some exams of the “Baccalauréat” occur in the 1ère year but not a lot as well as a group project.

Proms, holidays & others undercut to avoid long post:

Regarding school proms, we indeed don’t have them as much as people in Canada or the US. It mostly depends of your school: some will organise them at the end of 3ème or Terminale because it’s the end of a ‘cycle’ sort of, but they’re mostly just events with food brought by everyone and music. You rarely have to find a partner to go to a prom with you, except maybe if the school you’re in has decided on that. Some schools don’t organise any.

Other special event that can be organised in your school (and again it depends how strict the director is and all) is carnival. We all come with disguises for the day. My ‘lycée’ was pretty strict about it but we managed to allow it during my finale year and organise a concert during lunch-time. We had to be recognisable though so no full-mask or full-makeup. But the previous years it was forbidden. We didn’t have any carnivals during collège. It again also depends on your school’s policy.

________________

Holidays

We have 4 in-between holidays and one summer holidays:

“Vacances de la Toussaint” (vacances meaning holidays): 2 weeks around end of October & Beginning of November, including the 1st of November. Usually, people tend to stay at home or visit family members that are living far from their home. Some might travel a bit as well but it’s not often. So some teens will visit their friend, maybe celebrate Halloween but Halloween isn’t that big of a thing here and it’s disappearing more and more.

“Vacances de Noël” (= Christmas holidays): 2 weeks including Christmas day and New Year. Mostly spent in family, some might go skiing but it’s rare and there’s less chance to have enough snow for that in the mountains.

“Vacances de Février” (February holidays): 2 weeks in February, sometimes a bit in March; dates change every year because all of the French regions don’t have the same dates for these holidays so teenagers will be in holidays 1st, 2nd or 3rd depending the year & region. Lots of people who can afford it will go skiing in the mountains one week; it’s pretty expensive so not everyone do that but still a lot.

“Vacances de Pâques / vacances de printemps” (Easter holidays / Spring holidays): Again 2 weeks, with dates changing like in February. Mostly around April, sometimes end of March. People tend to stay home or go a bit in the South of France if they can afford it or have enough time where the weather is warmer, some will visit family members, etc.

“Grandes vacances” (= big holidays or as you would say, Summer holidays): Lasts 2 months in July & August. School ends either end of June or beginning of July depending the grade you’re in and the end of the year exams you have, and will start again at the beginning of September. Some teens would go on family holidays somewhere (mostly to the sea or the mountains or abroad), some in summer camps, some would stay at home, some all of those.

Anyway, in all those holidays teens can meet-up and hang-out with their friends, do sleepovers, etc.

________________

School trips

School trips always have a cultural & educational purpose and will depend on the subject they’re being made for. You can visit museums, special cultural or historical places, etc. Most of the time you leave for the day by bus.

In some cases you can do a 3 to 5 days (or more depending your school) trip to another European country like England or Spain or Germany, maybe Italy. Those are opportunities to learn more about the other country’s culture (I know that when we did those trips we stayed in hosting families) learn and speak a bit the language, and learn history of the country depending on the outings of the day.

________________

Anything else fandom tends to miss?

Ok so it could take a lot of time and everything isn’t coming to my mind but one of the main thing I tend to see in fics is “Americanisation” of the French school system if that makes sense. Which is logical because it’s kind of hard to understand how everything works in another country without living in it.

For instance lots of people in fics write things like “they share maths classes together but not French, so Adrien takes Marinette to her class before going to his” and not really: you stay the whole year with the same classmates and share all your courses with them. Only exceptions are if you took some particular options (like someone took Latin and the other took ancient Greek or nothing), or depending the 2nd language you chose to learn (German or Spanish usually but some schools offer more choices). Or if you’re in a practical course, then you class might be split in half but with Marinette & Adrien’s class, they’re already not numerous so I’d say the whole class would share them together.

There’s a lot of other things but they’re not coming to my mind right now or are too long to detail there (for instance what I said above about scientific/economic&social/arts courses), but I’ll make sure to share them if I think about it :)

Thanks for the ask, I hope I answered what you were looking for!! ♥

[sunflovverharry]

Allegiance - Fakedating!Harry

Finally decided to make a new tumblr for my writing as I’ve been wanting to start posting forever ago, but my former blog was marked explicit for no reason!! BUT here I am, shitting bricks that I’m actually posting my work.. Let me present to you; Fakedating!Harry

word count: 4.4k warnings: language, drinking, angst, fluff summary: harry and y/n go through the ups and downs of their slowly changing relationship pairing: harry x reader

!!!!! it’s my first time releasing anything I’ve ever written and i’m shitting my pants. this was so fun to write and I hope you enjoy it! please reblog, like or tell me what you liked about it, i’ll greatly appreciate it🥺 i have a series i’m working on atm that’ll be out soon (hopefully), along with multiple one-shots so look out for that if you enjoyed this piece (the series is fwb!harry if that’ll help you want to read it hahah). enjoy my first one-shot of fakedating!harry (might put out a part 2 to this sometime but don’t take my word for it)

It wasn’t the first family gathering I had to come with him to. Not even the tenth. No, it was probably more like the fiftieth I couldn’t say no to coming to during the last two tears. Two years of playing his loving and devoting girlfriend. His family and friends have known us as the perfect couple since he first introduced me a warm july evening two years ago. Apart from it being a fake relationship, it seems pretty fucking real to the outside world. Maybe we’re just that great actors.

July 19th 2018

Harry took a hold of my hand as we walked through the luxurious modern home in the outskirts of London. It is the first time I’ve stepped foot in this house - eager to catch every little detail as I slowly walked beside Harry. It was gorgeous and I hoped to get a tour sometime. Not that I even know if I’ll ever come back here after tonight. It might be a one-night thing for all I know, only agreeing to come with Harry because I literally could not find an excuse to save my life.

Being at a function where you know next to nobody except your supposed boyfriend is terrifying, but at the same time I had to hide my nerves in case anyone caught on.

Our family has never had any big parties or get-togethers except for weddings - which there weren’t many of. Most of my cousins decided they were off fine without a marriage certificate to validate their relationships. I supported them in their decision, but ultimately I want to marry the one I one day want to spend the rest of my life with. Not having the best relationship reputation it’ll probably be a while until a wedding where I’m the bride takes place.

The large double french doors leading out to the expansive garden were open for guests to go in and out of the house and to the garden where mostly everyone were mingling when we arrived. The engagement celebration of Harry’s sister and her fiancée was in full swing and it looked as if we were the last ones missing. That made it all the more terrifying. How on earth are we going to keep up the façade of us being in a relationship all night?

We’d talked about details on the way here deciding to go with our friends setting us up on a blind date a few months back. It isn’t far from the truth, but we were definitely not on a date. We had to accompany our best mates who were on a date, but for the most part we ignored each other only letting the talk and get to know each other. The worst thing is, it wasn’t even worth it as they literally shagged and didn’t see each other again.

As to how we’re now here together - I accidentally walked into him and spilt my tea all over his fancy suit clinging to his body. Cliché, I know. To repay him for the spill, he asked me to be his pretend girlfriend and like I said I suck at excuses so here we are about to be introduced to his whole family it seems. Way to take away the attention from the happy couple.

«Mum.» Harry’s hand slipped from mine as we closed up on the group to the left. I didn’t want to interrupt a reunion between Harry and his mum so I kept my stance a few feet behind him and waited for Harry to take the lead as he hugged his mum saying a quick hello to the rest of the people standing in the small circle.

«Y/n, mum. Mum, y/n.» Harry stepped to the side so I could take the short steps forward to greet his mother. It was the first time I was meeting a guy of any sort parents and I’m sure I was shaking as she pulled me in for a hug. It was warm and welcoming as she whispered in my ear.

«It’s so lovely to meet you finally, y/n.» I smiled at her as we parted. She kept her hands on my upper arms taking me in with her moving eyes. «Harry hasn’t told us anything or answered a single question about you, but now I can ask you myself!» She cheered as Harry groaned in the background. How was this lovely lady basically getting pulled into a trap by her 26 year old son?

The next few greetings went above and beyond my expectations. With knowing how insensitive and closed off Harry, I had imagined his family was the same - which looking back was unkind of me as his family are the complete opposite. Being here accompanied by his loved ones also showed me that maybe Harry isn’t as hard as he comes off as, he just doesn’t like to open up to the wrong people. I can tolerate and understand that, but he hasn’t exactly made an effort to get to know me, so I wouldn’t say he has a right to be heartless towards me. Not after I’ve done him a massive favor.

«How long have you been together then?» Harry had gone to talk to his future brother-in-law and sister and I was left seated with some family friends of theirs. I didn’t mind one bit spending time with other people than Harry. It was freeing not having to pretend and have his hand caressing my thigh and asking if I wanted anything from the bar. Sure, I would have reveled in it if we were anything close to friends or even lovers, but just knowing it’s him makes me want to shake him off.

«It’ll be six months on the 27th. We had our second date on his birthday actually and he didn’t even tell me! Can you believe that?» I asked incredulously. It wasn’t true, we hadn’t even met up on his birthday nevertheless been on a fucking date.

We sat in comfortable conversation for a couple minutes talking about Harry and me before he came back sliding his arm over the back of my chair. His fingertips trailed up and down my arm as he quickly got back into the conversation.

It felt oddly normal when we were conversing about day-to-day subject and talking about solely ourselves, but then I’m brought right back into the plain lie about our relationship.

July 2nd 2020

This time it wasn’t an engagement party though, it was a celebration of Marie and Jack having been married for 30 years. It’s a huge accomplishment and compared to every other gathering, I’m happy to be here. Though the fake relationship between Harry and I hasn’t been the best, we’ve certainly tried our best and his family still seem to believe it.

We’ve had our ups and downs in private, but always been on our best behavior out with his family - holding hands, laying my head on his shoulder, him kissing my temple and squeezing my waist. It didn’t happen all too often, thank god, but we’d shared the odd kiss or two at times where it deemed right to do so. I’m not sure I could bear getting a taste of his lips more than I had to. At his sister's wedding last summer when we were slow dancing somewhere in the midst of all his family and their friends we slowly leaned in - whether in the heat of the moment or because it seemed we had to i’m still not sure. Either way, it was a nice kiss shared between us when we were both drunk off of champagne and the love we felt around us.

Since, there’s been a few pecks here and there, but mostly keeping to placing our lips on the others cheek, forehead or hand. I do think Harry’s opened up, though only slightly, it still warmed my heart. We’ve had quite a few enjoyable chats whilst driving home or sitting in a corner of the garden we’ve spent most our time in at his parents home. I still don’t know where he lives, him picking me up and only going to wherever the dinner or party would be held.

We haven’t discussed how much longer we’re keeping the lie going about us, but it was starting to gnaw at me knowing we would probably part ways in not too long and never meet again. He had become a part of my life I’m not sure I want to lose. The beginning was horrible and we didn’t get along in private, but after that kiss at the wedding something turned in the both of us (I hope).

Up until recently we’ve been really fucking lucky to have avoided all questions about moving in together and a possible ring on my finger. Weeks ago when we had dinner with his parents the questions surely weren’t held away though. Babies, apartments, rings and everything of the sort were brought up. It was heavy subject for two people who barely could stand each other a year ago and by the end of the dinner I was more than ready to put an end to this extremely complicated lie. It’s turned into much more than the one party I agreed to the first time he asked me.

We had a nice chat about how we were excited to see his nieces again in the car, giggling about our memories with them these last two years. It was nice being so open and comfortable with him not having to worry about him being angry or quiet. He talked back and laughed with me and even told me a couple stories from before I was in their life. I’ll miss them and the rest of his family when we inevitably end us.

Marie greeted us just like she does every time we come by, for dinner, a party or game night I just couldn’t refuse to join in on - with a kind smile grazing her lips and the same welcoming hug she’d given me the first time we met and ever since. It was really something I was looking forward to when I knew I’d be seeing her.

«Harry, y/n! You look fabulous, did you force him to match his tie to your dress?» Marie squinted her eyes at me in a ‘I know he’d never do it if he wasn’t forced to’ look. And of course, she knew her son way better than I did and only laughed with her as I told her yes, indeed I even had to put it on him myself. Which was the truth for once.

«Hopefully we’ll be throwing you some kind of celebration sometime soon, yeah? Engagement, pregnancy?» She hinted at the subjects we tried our very best to steer away from at all times as we followed her back to the garden I was falling more and more in love with. For the most part we’d been able to laugh our way out of it.

Harry laughed as he took two glasses of champagne from a server for the both of us to sip. It would definitely clear any pregnancy rumours which I’m sure there were swirling around between his family members. This family does not like to take their time with anything, saying life is too short to fool around. I’m sure they’re concerned and suspicious of why we’re taking things slow not even living together when his sisters all got engaged or married within the two first years, but they’ll be let in on our secret soon enough I hope.

In one way I’d love for this all to be over and continue to live my life as I did before Harry - but to be honest I’m not quite sure how I’ll ever go back to that. Life with Harry sure has its pros and I would enjoy it as long as it lasted. Especially the expensive champagne they always seemed to have at every function.

A couple hours or so later the speeches were in full swing. I knew Harry wasn’t doing one as I’m sure everyone would think he’d propose to me at the end of it, so he decided to forget about it. After his sisters had said some lines each, Marie and Jack stood up at the head table right next to us. They looked as in love now as they did two years ago and it was incredible witnessing how the spark between them never seemed to die. I can only wish to have a marriage as wonderful.

«You want more to drink? Can have mine if you want.» Harry offered quietly before Jack asked everyone about how gorgeous his wife looks tonight. He truly adores her and it shows in every way he acts and speaks to her.

«Yes, please. Thank you.» I grabbed the glass of some sort of concoction from his much larger hand. Smiling up at him, I sipped the drink from the straw feeling his hand squeeze my waist to pull me closer though I’m not sure how much closer I could get unless I sat on his lap. We’d been touching each other considerably more than usual during the night. It felt good and with how friendly we’ve been lately I almost wanted more, just like how I’ve been wanting for the last couple months. More touching my thigh, more squeezing my waist, more kisses on my temple, more brushing my hair away from my face. He was addicting, inexplicably so.

Harry put his lips to my cheek as we listened to his parents speak about how their love was at an all time high, even after thirty years of marriage, four children and a couple of granddaughters to show for it. The softness to their voices as they spoke passionate, kind, loving words to each other was absolutely remarkable. It brought my deepest feelings out and I couldn’t help but shed a tear or two. I hadn’t noticed they were falling before I felt Harry’s thumb whisking them away and pulling my head to rest on his shoulder, another kiss planted on my forehead this time.

I savored the moment, the love I felt all too much for me while thinking about how this would be over far too soon for my liking. His family were growing on me. Harry was growing on me. I enjoyed his company, when he would open up without me asking or begging to know a small detail that probably didn’t matter to him as much as it did to me. He had become a huge part of my everyday life by now, texting him on days we weren’t meeting up.

I firmly remember the first day we hung out just us two. It was a Tuesday evening and we had gone out to eat - really only to grab a photo we could give to his parents who had been begging for one. This was around halloween last year, so we were on solid grounds by then.

At first it was awkward as hell, neither knowing what to say or how to start the conversation, but after we had ordered we soon got into conversation and we didn’t stop until we’d been sat there for three hours. It still baffles my mind how nice that dinner was and how I didn’t ever think ‘can this be over soon?’. Thinking back, I think that’s the exact moment I realized I might’ve grown feelings for the man.

The night had gone by in a blink of the eye, suddenly it was nearing midnight and we had just said goodbye and were making our way to his car. Sitting down and watching the house as Harry reversed out of the parking spot, I thought about what a lovely night it’s been. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed myself and this one party will forever be the reason I won’t ever regret fake dating Harry Styles. His mum made it all worth it when he didn’t.

«Would you like to come to mine for a drink before heading home? It’s still quite early for a Saturday, innit?» Harry didn’t come off as nervous or scared to ask me to join him at his place before sending me home. There was no way I could deny his request as I’d finally get to see the flat he resides in and I’ve imagined for two years.

It only took us around ten minutes to get to his flat, shocked to see that it isn’t as far from mine as I thought. He’s got enough money to live in a nicer area, but this definitely has charm to it and maybe that’s why he wants to live here.

The flat itself was victorian but with a modern upgrade. A luxurious kitchen with all the appliances one could need, a lovely island serving as his dining table that led into the living room. I wanted to jump onto the couch and lay there for eternity by only looking at how soft and comfortable it seems. The rather large L-shaped couch took up most of the room, but he’d made sure to have enough space for tall, wide bookshelves filled with anything but books behind it.

Don’t get me started on the dark wood flooring that looked as original as it could get. They brought character to the flat and blended the old victorian feel in nicely with the more modern look of the walls and kitchen. I’d love to have a place like this someday.

«You can sit down and I’ll grab a bottle of wine, sound alright?» Harry hung his suit jacket that he hadn’t worn at all on one of the chairs lined by the island counter. He moved into the corner of the kitchen where I couldn’t see him any longer as I stepped off my shoes before tiptoeing to the couch falling down into it. I was right about it being soft and comfortable. It was as if I was being lulled to sleep all I needed was a light blanket tucking me in and I’d be set for a good night's sleep.

Harry chuckled when he came out from the kitchen, a bottle of red in one hand and two glasses in the other, to see me cuddling into his couch. I don’t know what he does in his free time or if he usually has girls around his flat and this is a normal view for him, but right now I didn’t care. He was giving me wine and a comfy place to sit which honestly is enough for now. I don’t want to scare him away by talking about my feelings for him past midnight, half drunk after all the drinks I’d already had tonight.

Chatting to Harry was a breeze. We giggled before getting serious and then struggling to breath as we laughed harder than ever before. It felt light and good, like we were the best of friends and for a moment I thought I could live with that. As long as I got to continue having moments like these with him, I could deal with only being friends. Then I had another glass of wine and decided that I couldn’t bear him not knowing how I feel for one more second.

«Harry.. we can’t keep doing this. It’s not fair to the people involved, and it’s absolutely not fair to us.» My eyes were watching my finger trailing the pattern of one of his pillows I was holding in my lap. There was no foreshadowing to tell Harry that I would bring this up and I could tell he wasn’t ready for it by the sharp intake of breath that could be heard from him.

«I’ve thought about it recently and obviously we both knew this couldn’t last forever. I’ve grown a lot the past two years and I know what I want now. A fake relationship isn’t it, no matter how much I adore your family.» I could feel my throat burning as I tried to keep my tears at bay. The last thing I wanted to sit in front of him crying my eyes out. Still not daring to let my eyes reach his, I closed my eyes as I continued talking.

«The first year was awful. You weren’t nice to me and after doing you a huge fucking favour, which I still don’t know why you needed a fake girlfriend, you were still treating me just like how you did the first time we met. Then after your sisters wedding, it started getting better and by winter we were good friends. Something shifted in us, in me at least that night and I can’t overlook it anymore. It’s fine if this is it for us, ‘cause I can’t lie to your family anymore, but I need you to know one thing before I leave.» It felt so good telling him how I’d felt for so long, only one last thing to tell him.

Pushing myself to look up at him, I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. I couldn’t hold back the tears. He looked so vulnerable though he wasn’t the one holding his breath with a heavy heart trying to tell someone they have stronger feelings for them than might be reciprocated. He looked worried seeing me cry, but didn’t do anything knowing I didn’t want a hand to hold or a hug at this moment.

«I realized tonight that the night we first went out for dinner to take that picture for your parents was also the first time I understood my feelings towards you. It’s fucking insane that even after a year of basically hating your company, three months of us being friends was all it took for me to get feelings for you. I don’t want a fake relationship and I don’t want to be just your friend. I’m not going to say I’m sorry if this ruins things completely between us because I’m finally being true to myself and to you.»

Harry looked as if someone had just punched him in the face. His mouth was hanging open, jaw slack, eyes wide filled with curiosity. I had never let myself take in his gorgeous face completely. It’d only do me more pain than pleasure. Now though, I’m taking in every single detail I can before he either tells me to please leave or throw me out.

I removed my eyes from his face when his phone made a noise telling him someone sent a text message. It being close to one thirty in the morning made me incredibly curious as to who could be texting him now.

He apparently took his time to read it instead of responding to me as it was dead silent for another minute or so. Maybe he was replying or it was a really long fucking text.

Letting out a long sigh he dropped his phone back down on the table. It seemed he wasn’t quite sure what to do or say with how he dragged his hands over his face before standing up only to sit back down again five seconds later.

«Mum wants you to know that she loves you and thanks you for being with me, not just today but in general. This is how it’s been for the last two years for me, y/n. My family adores the shit out of you and I get at least two texts a day from mum asking how you’re doing and when she’ll see you next. It’s always y/n this and y/n that. You’ve invaded everyone’s minds and they’re obsessed with you.» Though it was nice hearing how much of an impact I’ve made, it almost made me more sad than happy. A couple more tears fell as I listened to him go on.

«The first year I tried so fucking hard to make you want to end it. Every time I asked you to come with me I hoped you’d say no and end it just so I could get you out of my head. You invaded my mind just like you did everyone elses and I couldn’t fucking bear it knowing we weren’t a real couple. After that kiss at the wedding I couldn’t keep my act together. It was excruciating being mean to you so I tried being your friend. I still to this day don’t know which was worse, being closed off or close to you.» Harry took one last breath before moving slightly so that he could reach over to hold my hands in his. This isn’t what I had expected and I still don’t want to get my hopes up.

«I want what my sisters have, what my parents have. I’ve wanted that so badly that I began thinking it wouldn’t happen as I’m 28 and still haven’t had one long-lasting relationship. I’d started to believe that it wasn’t in the cards for me - having a wife and a family. Then you came around and I these two years have showed me how fucking perfect you are and how you deserve so much better than me. But I’m a selfish man and I want you, y/n. Want you so much.» Not being able to keep away longer, I swiftly closed the gap between us, slotting my lips with his as I moved to straddle his waist.

It felt unbelievably good to kiss him like this, passion and lust clear as day as our tongues met for the first time. He wants me. I couldn’t stop saying the three words in my head as I let go to catch my breath. How in the world could I be so lucky to be wanted by the man I want?

I laughed as I wiped at my cheeks, removing the tear stains as well as I could without a wet washcloth to clean them off. Harry guided his lips from my jaw up to my cheek ending with a kiss to my shut eyelid. I had never experienced Harry being this soft and attentive, but it was all the more to look forward to.

«Maybe we can turn the fake relationship into a real one and not tell my whole family about it?» There was a cheeky smile playing on his lips as I let out another laugh. If this is what I have to look forward to - jokes, laugher and passionate kisses possibly leading to something more - then I couldn’t wait.

«Of course, Harry. And tell your mum I love her back and give her my number, will you? I’m still looking for a tour of their house after two years of you not giving me one.»

[turbomun]

Thoughts on the drawing screen now that it's working properly

For reference, it's an XP-Pen Artist 12 Pro. Not the biggest or fanciest model made by the company, but not the lowest-end either. It retails for $250, however I bought mine secondhand for $150 because someone in my town just happened to be selling one on Facebook, and I'd been eyeballing that exact model for a while, so it was pretty much perfect. Also the dude had kept the original box + all accessories and documentation, and the only problem was some scratches in the middle of the screen...which turned out to actually be on the screen protector, which, y'know, can be removed and replaced. Already ordered a new one, once it gets here I'll be scratch-free!

Overall I'm very impressed! The display quality, pressure sensitivity, response time, battery-free pen, all of that, are comparable to a Cintiq of similar size...except for about $400-500 less depending on the model. Oh, also, the XP-Pen has a row of 8 inbuilt buttons (and a click wheel!) while the Cintiq makes you buy a separate button pad. Actual number of buttons on the XP-Pen varies based on the model, but basically all of them have some, while only the higher-end Cintiqs offer those. The XP-Pen website and documents are a little Engrishy, but the product itself doesn't feel cheap at all, and there's lots of smart little design choices that make it easy to use and highly customizable. All the buttons can be mapped to whatever function you want, as can the pen buttons and the click wheel. (If you're wondering what the point of a click wheel is on a drawing screen, it's good for scrolling and zooming in/out. Super useful, actually.)

Word of warning: if you're using this on a Mac, 1) make sure you have the proper display adapter because most Macs don't have HDMI ports, and 2) DOWNLOAD THE OLD VERSION OF THE DRIVER FROM THE WEBSITE, NOT THE NEW ONE. I had initially installed the driver dated July 2nd, and my cursor jittered all over the place, making it unusable. I was upset until a few hours later when I decided to uninstall everything and put the old version of the driver on my computer instead, and it worked perfectly. Maybe it's because I have a slightly older laptop, but I'd recommend staying away from the new driver for now. The new driver might look prettier, but the old one actually fuckin' works. Note that this only applies to Mac; @rafespeaks tested the newer driver on her PC with no issues.

Since then I've been drawing on it and everything's great! Works way better than trying to browbeat my iPad into acting as a drawing screen with a 3rd-party program (or using iPad Photoshop, which sucks). As long as you understand that drawing screens need a computer to run off of and aren't really portable, I think XP-Pen is a great choice. It feels thoughtfully designed and they have a crap ton of options for different needs and budgets. Really proves that Cintiqs are overpriced as hell if you can get something so comparable for so much cheaper. Just stay away from that new Mac driver and you should be fine.

[ceaseless-enemy]

TURNTABLES AU: THE KRIEGHAUS CORRESPONDENCE LETTERS

CONTENT WARNINGS: mentions of torture methods, evil RHM content, death, corpses, trauma, very vague descriptions of medical procedure

you have been warned

February 27th, 2014

To: Hubert Galeforce

From: Wilhelm Krieghaus

I’m surprised you decided to contact me. I was under the impression the Toppats were an “every man for himself” sort of group.

That said, I think you were right to be concerned this time around. The impression General Copperbottom gives off is of someone that believes Toppats are tantamount to war criminals.

I’ll talk with The Lieutenant soon and try to assure things remain as civil as possible in this situation, although I can’t exactly guarantee he’ll be receptive. He seems to be very irritable since Canterbury’s arrival.

April 2nd, 2014

To: Hubert Galeforce

From: Wilhelm Krieghaus

He wasn’t very receptive. In fact, he got angry at me for even suggesting that we try for more peaceful resolution. I didn’t expect him to agree with something fully nonviolent of course, but it was like he couldn’t fathom a solution where it wasn’t required.

He went as far as to mention the idea of enhanced interrogation. I reminded him that people are debating about it right now; that a majority of people in the US find it barbaric, and him enacting it would cause unneeded controversy.

Usually The Lieutenant is a very practical and logical man, but I’m worried that what I told him won’t be enough to sway him.

May 17th, 2014

To: Hubert Galeforce

From: Wilhelm Krieghaus

He enacted the first set of interrogation techniques that I mentioned in my last letter. I didn’t exactly expect him to do it, but now that he’s crossed that line, I’ll have to shift my goal.

I can’t prevent him from breaking ethical codes, but I’ll try to dissuade him from going into more physical interrogation methods. I don’t have much else to say.

I can barely register it all.

January 23rd, 2015

To: Lieutenant R. H. M.

From: Wilhelm Krieghaus

I read what you’ve written down. Your recent activities, and your thoughts behind them.

What’s wrong with you?

I’m serious. I never expected all of this to come from you. Sure, you’ve never been the most expressive person, but you’ve always had a good core. You’ve always cared about people.

The way you talk about it is all I can think about. Like you’re doing menial housework. Like you’re cleaning a window. You hate it, but once you’ve done it, you sound so proud.

I can’t believe that you’d just do that. There has to be something I’m missing. We need to talk about this as soon as you have time off.

February 7th, 2015

To: Hubert Galeforce

From: Wilhelm Krieghaus

I talked with The Lieutenant again the other day. I’m a little out of sorts. I’m sorry if this isn’t as succinct or formal as usual. I failed at dissuading him from more unsavory ideas again. It’s like he’s determined to do this.

What does he even have to gain? What does he want from the Toppats? Do you know? Is there even anything specific, or does he only have venom for you because he’s General Copperbottoms sycophant?

I’m sorry. You don’t even know what I’m so upset about. Next week, he’s incorporating more barbaric enhanced interrogation techniques. I can’t guarantee Canterbury’s safety (mental or physical) anymore. If there’s anything I can think of that I can do aside from giving you updates, I’ll let you know.

February 15th, 2015

To: Lieutenant R. H. M.

From: Wilhelm Krieghaus

You haven’t come by my office lately. I assume it’s over our disagreements? Look. I don’t want our friendship to end over political differences.

I may not agree with you, but why is that a problem? Please consider: If you understand my perspective, and I understand yours, it can be beneficial to the both of us. As people, as friends, and as military workers. Just food for thought.

I don’t think having only the general as company is good for you.

April 3, 2021

February 29th, 2015

To: Hubert Galeforce

From: Wilhelm Krieghaus

The more time passes, the more this escalates. From what I’ve heard, Canterbury’s jaw is broken. There isn’t much I can do for him at the moment. I have no way to access him.

This entire situation; The Lieutenant, The General, having to lie to the higher-ups, having to see my colleagues lie for their own sakes: It’s FUBAR.

This surpasses the legality of what you do. This surpasses legal jargon in general. This sort of thing is ethics.

The most I can do is document, although I don’t know how helpful that is right now. I’ll keep you posted if anything new comes up.

To: Lieutenant R. H. M.

From: Wilhelm Krieghaus

I’ve been thinking about the Canterbury situation, lately. More specifically, about his broken jaw. I don’t think he’ll be able to confess anything in that state.

I know it’s pointless to ask you to stop the enhanced interrogations, but may I suggest stopping the waterboarding? It’s impractical.

I just want you to think about it.

May 27th, 2015

To: Hubert Galeforce

From: Wilhelm Krieghaus

This will be brief. Not much new has happened, just more torture. It brings me no pleasure to write that so flippantly.

Today, though, was a lot. Several hours ago, everyone in the camp heard screaming. Not just yelling, or your standard screams of distress we’d almost grown used to; this was different. It was inhuman shrieking.

I asked The Lieutenant what happened, but he just shrugged and said “nothing”. He’s never lied about what he’s done before. I believe him.

… What was that, then?

June 28th, 2015

To: Hubert Galeforce

From: Wilhelm Krieghaus

Canterbury’s brother was threatened, according to the Lieutenant’s logs. I would recommend checking on him, or keeping an eye on him in general.

The Lieutenant hasn’t crossed that line yet, but I don’t know how long that will last.

[12:23 AM]

July 20th, 2015

To: Hubert Galeforce

From: Wilhelm Krieghaus

The Lieutenant has become unrecognizable to me at this point. I never thought he’d go this far. At this point, he’s stopped caring whether or not Canterbury ends up dead.

At first I thought he was never this type of person. A big part of me desperately wanted to believe that General Copperbottom took something small in him and twisted it into something horrible.

The fact of the matter is, The Lieutenant was like this all along. He just never got the opportunity to show it until now.

September 7th, 2015

To: Hubert Galeforce

From: Wilhelm Krieghaus

The Lieutenant came into my office today. He looked so tired. There wasn’t anything else there. He announced: “I killed him.” And sat in front of me in silence for an hour, before leaving.

After an entire year of torture, horror, lying and corruption:

This can’t be how it ends.

The Final Canterbury Log

-Wilhelm Krieghaus

September 9th, 2015

This is the last I’ll write or speak of the matter. After this, I’m done, I’ll wash my hands of this affair, and strive to get court-martialed. Two nights ago, Thomas Chestershire brought H.J. Canterbury’s corpse to me.

I asked him what for, and he told me “The body’s our best chance of getting those two in trouble”. He seems more tired of them than I am. I never really noticed how he felt before I guess. It never mattered.

On top of the conditions Canterbury had been subjected to for a year, rigor mortis had already set in quite a bit. There wasn’t much chance of being salvaged, but dammit I was tired of the constant stress.

So I did what I could.

There was so little left of him at the end of the day, but there was enough. All you really need is a brain; who you are, how you feel, and all your memories. I could have had nothing but a brain.

I had his brain functioning pretty early on, but most of his organs, all his limbs, and his mess of a bottom jaw had to be replaced with advanced augmentations.

It cost me two nights of sleep and basic self-care, but that’s a given.

I have him strapped to the bed currently, for his (and my) safety. His condition is stable but I don’t know when he’s going to wake up.

When I’ve sufficiently explained the situation, I’ll need to find a way to get him to the Toppats undetected and unsuspected (pardon the rhyme.) That is, assuming he will even be able to function that well.

It’s also a possibility that he’ll wake up, with very heavy physical and mental impairments.

I’ll need to make a plan for that.

[phoenotopia]

2020 July Update

Things have gone slowly... again.

The good news is that the game is now submitted to the console "authority" and it's entirely off my hands. Once it gets through the console "checking" process, it can get a release date and we can sprint towards release. Until then, it'd be at least a month's wait or more until I hear anything. Understandably, their checking process is impacted by Corona, so wait times are increased.

On my end, I was also slow to submit the game. I submitted it late late June, since I ended up spending 7 weeks fixing bugs (and not 2-3 weeks like I estimated in the last blog post). There were just SO many bugs - now squished, thankfully. Since this is a blog post, I'll talk about what kind of bugs I've been fixing.

The other thing that slowed down the submission process was simply due to unfamiliarity with how these submissions proceed. There were pages and pages of stuff to read, guidelines to follow, and legalese to wade through. It really made me wish I had a publisher to guide me through the process. But I was able to clear it with a couple days work. I had an impression that the submission process went like A->B->C->D, with no room for concurrency. Turns out I could have done steps B & C at the same time and sped things up by 2 weeks... So that's that. I'm taking that as a lesson for next time.

The Console Revealed

What is this console that I talk about so stealthily? So that this blog update isn't completely unexciting, I'll reveal which console I've been working on until now. Drumroll please!

It's Switch!

We actually got the Switch dev kit in late 2017. From my understanding, around this time in the USA, the Switch kit was quite hard to get for indies as it was just starting out and high in demand. So I was surprised that my application got approved. I didn't know it then, but the game would still need a few more years of development...

Tweaking performance and fixing bugs

Here you can see my "expert" playtest setup. Since the Switch is more powerful while docked, I needed to playtest it in handheld mode, so I could catch and profile any problem areas where the framerate was unsteady. The most common thing that caused framerate drops were areas that went overboard with lighting. For these areas, I'd tweak or swap out the lights with alternatives that looked similar while also being less computationally intensive. Maintaining 60 FPS is a must!

An old camera (Nikon D3100) trained at the screen recorded my playthrough and would let me rewind to any moment a bug occurred. It could only record in 10 minute chunks, so I'd have to repeatedly repress the record button. On the plus side, because it's so old the movie file sizes were small and convenient.

The number one bug that I tracked and fixed in the past two months was what I dub the "Gear Ring De-equip" bug. The Gear Ring functions as customizable shortcut keys for the player to map items and tools (see an old video demonstration HERE). Through regular use of the inventory, somehow the equipped items on the Gear Ring would be de-equipped. It was an elusive bug since the de-equip event would happen very quietly and you would only suspect something had gone wrong much later. By then, the trail had gone cold and you weren't sure if a de-equip had actually occurred or if the player had simply de-equipped the item themselves. Two other playtesters noted that something left the Gear Ring in their playthrough, but I dismissed them. "Are you sure you didn't just de-equip it yourself?" It was a bug that bred mistrust and discord. I didn't truly believe it until it happened to me...

Luckily, with the camera setup, I was finally able to track it. In the literal 67th video, I caught a live instance of the bug occurring. After which, it was all too easy to recreate the exact same inventory and gear ring setup and replicate it.

(With this exact item layout, combine the 2nd item with the 14th item... and viola! Gear Ring de-equip!)

After fixing this bug, I then proceeded to fix it 5 more times. Every time I fixed it, it would later reappear through a different mechanism. 

Why do bugs like this happen? Underneath, there are two lists of items. Tools on the right and items on the left. Items can occur multiple times because they're consumable. Both lists start counting their indexes with the value 0. However, both items and tools co-exist on the gear ring. So to uniquely identify an entry you need both the item ID and the data index. Failure to check both data types resulted in bugs like the Gear Ring de-equip. Now throw in a bunch of item operations that can confuse the system. You can split items, combine items, swap items, or discard items. The more freedom you allow, the more ways there are for the system to trip up.

If you didn't get all that, that's alright. It was needlessly complicated. Imagine doing more and better and with less code and less bugs! Such a thing is possible if you start with the right design. I'm definitely taking notes here on how to design inventory systems for next time. In the meanwhile, I'm very confident I've squished all inventory related bugs.

Other bugs squashed and features implemented in the past 2 months include the end game arts not unlocking properly, collection percentages climbing beyond 100, stray doors floating in the sky, low HP sfx blaring when loading different files, balance tweaks on bosses, a max HP display when the menu is open - too many to count really! It was only after I fixed them all that I was confident enough to move forward with submitting the game. I apologize for the delay this will cause!

PC version back in progress

You may recall in the March 2020 update I talk about how in pursuing the Switch version, I unwittingly ruined the PC version. Well, since the game is "done" now and I'm waiting for it to go through the checking process, I've started working to reclaim the PC version.

And there is some good news to report. The PC version can compile again! Of course, it will need to have some work done, since it was late 2017 when I last had a functioning PC build. 

The opening menu is broken, the underlying save file system needs to be updated, and the controls... oh Lord, the controls. Controls were probably the #1 factor in pushing me to pursue a console version first. There are just so many controller options. Even just the usual suspects are numerous: Xbox, Nintendo, Sony, Logitech, Hori, 8Bitdo, Steam...

One of the number one complaints received regarding the flash game (which was keyboard primarily) was that I didn't allow controller rebinding to start. It was then that I learned of the vast array of different keyboard types.

(Ever heard of an Azerty keyboard?)

I shan't make the same mistake twice! One of the things I'll definitely tackle is the Right/Left face button feud when it comes to which should one should be 'confirm' and which one is 'cancel'. I want to allow the player to choose which is their "YES" and "NO" preference and allow that to overlap other actions like Attack or Jump.

Even after control bindings are taken care of, some things just won't translate well. The right control stick is currently used to access the gear ring and for fishing. Keyboards have no right stick. Aiming the crossbow with a full 360 degrees of range is done with the left control stick - if keyboard only, would the crossbow simply be locked to the 8 cardinal directions? What about those tutorial prompts with button graphics (e.g. "Press 'B' to Jump"). If using the playstation controller, it'd need to be the CROSS symbol. How many button graphics are we gonna load into the text module? What if the player, mid-playthrough, decides to swap out controllers? Indeed, there are many issues to tackle where controls are concerned...

Perhaps I'm overthinking it because even some AAA games get this wrong (Dark Souls has 'B' as 'Yes' on Switch, and it's not remappable, which I find quite annoying). I've seen games on consoles where the controls wouldn't mention the console's controller at all but instead mention a mouse and keyboard. Or, if you remapped the controls, the tutorial prompts still showed the old control bindings, making for a confusing experience. I definitely want to do the controls justice, so this will take some time.

Phoenotopia DISCORD Channels

Ryan and Firana have been running a Phoenotopia discord since late 2017, which I promoted on this blog once. It's been a couple years and it turns out that the old discord link I promoted expired. It's long overdue, but their channel could use another shoutout. Here's their channel : https://discord.gg/cnjrYST

Also, Khalid recently reached out to me about creating a Phoenotopia discord as well. I see no reason why we can't have 2 or more discords, so he has created that one with my blessing as well. You can find his discord here : https://discord.gg/cfnsCwy

I personally don't use Discords, since I'm very busy and there's too much new tech to keep up with. I hear there's a Tik Tok now? Should I create a Tik Tok for Phoenotopia? Hmmm...

Anyway, if you'd like to chat with other people who are similarly enthused for Phoenotopia, do check them out!

Fan Arts

We have five new fanart submissions this time around from regulars and new alike.

Cody G. returns with this pair of sketches of Gail. One seeks to answer the question, "how is Gail so strong?" Cody's answer is that under her sleeves she's actually really buff! This might be the most ripped rendition of Gail yet. Also, in the right drawing, the letter 'E' kinda melds with her bat, making it look like a keyblade!

What if Gale was a Shrek character? A new artist, Samu Kajin, from tumblr answers that question with a rendition of Gail sporting ogre style antennae. Samu Kajin says she can be called "Gaek" or "Shrale". I like the poncho!

Shafiyahh returns with a pretty portrait of Gail. Unlike their previous digital pieces, this one was made with color pencils! I like how her hair blends pink and purple colors together, and this pattern is also present in the eyes. Reminds me of a certain character. And the eyes are so sparkly despite using color pencils! Major props!

Negativus Core also returns with this relevant image of Gail, masked and running, presumably from Corona. It gave me quite a chuckle! I like the angle and tilt of this run pose because you can see the sole of her foot - that's how you know she's at full sprint! A skillful blur localized to her left foot show's just the right amount of motion. Gotta love the robot's expression too!

A rare 3D art has emerged. Dany Q crafted this adorable figure of Gail that is as cute as a button! I like how well it translates the pixel character over to 3D, capturing the 3 stitches on her shirt and even catching her stray strand of hair. It kinda reminds me of a Wallace and Gromit character, so I can picture it moving and animating in that unique claymation style.

Next Time

I'm ~80% confident we can clear the Switch console checking process and drop the trailer with a release date before the next blog post. But once again, if things go slowly, you'll hear from us in 2 months...

[v8pontiacgirl]

04July2021

I’m still in shock that issues are likely caused by horrible allergies that are likely caused by mold in my house. Due to memory issues, I decided to make a timeline of the last six years, when this started.

September 2015–moved into the house. I was working full time, going to school full time and experiencing allergy issues, such as a sore throat, headaches, and very dry eyes (to the point that I was no longer able to wear my contacts). I actually kept getting allergic conjunctivitis, so I switched to my glasses full time. I’d been able to wear contacts for about 15 years without issues prior to this.

February 2016–injured my knee and found out I had a discoid lateral meniscus with a tear that was hanging up in my knee joint. It took months to get any kind of relief for my knee because the tear didn’t initially show up on the MRI, and because discoid meniscus issues usually show up earlier in life if they are going to be a problem, I wasn’t taken seriously. During this time, I was having issues working because of pain and inability to walk. Also started having more issues with being harassed at work by coworkers. I began to work less and less until I finally quit in September. I had already finished out school in June. I would have had to transfer to a community college two hours away to continue my degree in the fall, and since my knee was being problematic, I decided to hold off.

October 2016–Had my knee surgery. About a week or two afterwards, I got my first vertigo spell (although I didn’t realize it was vertigo at the time). This would become the first of many instances that I would deal with “flares” that would make functioning very difficult for me.

October 2016-March 2017–Some days were better than others. I went to the doctor and blood work and many tests were done. My thyroid levels fluctuated a little, but ultimately seemed ok eventually. Everything else looked normal, except my white blood cell count was always elevated. I was told I was perfectly healthy. The dizziness? It was POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), a chronic illness that I had been diagnosed with in 2005 that honestly had never given me too many issues in the past, as long as I stayed hydrated and ate salty foods. I was given some common POTS meds to help me retain water, but, as medications typically do not agree with me, I had too many side effects and was unable to take them.

April 2017-August 2017–I’d been feeling better for about a month (since March), and I was anxious to be back in school. Culinary school had caught my eye a few months prior, so I signed up for the spring cohort. I was in the evening cohort, and I was realizing that my allergies were being aggravated by *something*, so my mornings from 7am to noon were spent cleaning, and from noon to about 8pm, were spent at school. I was able to complete two terms of culinary school. There was to be about a little over a month break from the middle of August to the end of September before fall term began. I went to California in August after finishing Summer term for a few days to visit friends. After returning, I started to feel like I was going into another “flare”. Gradually, my health got worse and worse.

September 2017-February 2018–by the end of September, when it was time to go back to culinary school, I was bedridden. The vertigo was so bad that I was unable to do anything except remain horizontal. For about six months again, my health was unbearable and I was unable to function.

March-April 2018–I finally began to feel a little better in March and April (also around the time when I started to get outside to do more garden things), and decided that I would try to go back to culinary school for summer term (the cohorts had changed because of a new director, and so there were classes I could take toward my degree). It’s really interesting that my heath was generally better the more I was able to get out of the house.

June 2018-August 2018—I was doing a lot of outdoor garden things in the afternoons and going to school for several hours every morning. I was even hired to help cater a wedding in August. My health seemed mostly under control, with only minor symptoms.

September 2018-December 2018—The end of September, I began my fourth term of culinary school. I also joined the culinary team, so pretty much all of my time was spent at school, even most of December, when the other students went home for break, I stayed at school trying to perfect my dish for competition. I was fatigued, but my health was mostly stable.

January 2019–After a *very* brief break, I was back in school for one whole day of winter term. I was definitely feeling fatigued because I hadn’t really gotten a break (and probably, in hindsight, because my allergies had really worn me down, too), and I was told by the coach that he was kicking me off the team because he was concerned my health problems would hold the team back, and he wanted to win. My health had not been an issue that he had seen at all, but he just thought it was too much of a risk to keep me. If I wouldn’t have disclosed that I had health problems when I tried out for team, I don’t think this would have happened. Anyway, I was pretty angry, especially after all the time I’d put in. Since the coach was also the director of the school, and there had also been an issue with the instructor quitting and a new instructor having to take over at the end of the last term, I decided that this culinary school really wasn’t worth my time or money any longer, so I quit. Immediately after, I bought the rest of the books that I would have needed for school and began to teach myself techniques with sugar and chocolate. I decided I was going to start focusing more seriously on Spoon Life Bakery, my cottage bakery business that I had started in July 2017.

February 2019-March 2020—I was the most busy I’d been in a while. Garden projects, baking projects, and painting projects took up all my time. From August 2019 to the beginning of March 2020, I was more busy than I wanted to be with my short lived restaurant project. The restaurant actually opened in October, but there was a lot of prep work prior. All of this kept me out of the house for most of the day. I was exhausted, but not symptomatic. Basically, during this time period, I was either outside, or at another location for the majority of the time. During the rainy months (December 2019-March 2020), the basement of the house flooded. It had always been musty and damp down there, but it had never flooded like that.

March-May 2020—I closed the restaurant in March, and began to be at home a lot more often. I started going hard with Spoon Life Bakery again, baking out of my home kitchen. I got back into Jiu Jitsu. I was doing ok, but by May, I started to feel like something wasn’t right again.

May-December 2020—My health “flared” a little during this time. It wasn’t as bad overall as it had been, but some days were better than others. Some days the vertigo made me bedridden. It was unpredictable. In May, I had to quit Jiu Jitsu again because I wasn’t feeling well and didn’t have the stamina to keep doing it.

January-May 2021–I’d had enough descent days that I decided to try to try to go back to Jiu Jitsu, or rather, a self defense class based on Jiu Jitsu. This class ran twice a week through March, and I was able to keep up and not miss a class. The basement flooded again, so we moved the dehumidifier into the storage room where the majority of the water was coming in. After self defense was over, I started regular jiu jitsu again in April, but felt much more exhausted than usual. My vertigo was getting worse to the point that it was always present. I took a break from Jiu Jitsu again in May.

May-June 2021—My throat was so sore, that I thought I had tonsillitis. My left ear was plugged. I felt like I was getting sick with some sort of virus, except it went on for weeks without getting better. I saw an ENT in mid June. He thought maybe I had Meniere’s, but didn’t officially diagnose me, since I needed to get a hearing test, which is scheduled for this month, and at the time of writing this has not happened yet. Other than that, he didn’t see anything else that alerted him. Soon after, I began to get very sick with horrible vertigo. I was bedridden again.

July 2021–Until the 2nd, I was in an absolutely horrible flare that had lasted without relief for about two weeks. I was convinced that this was just my life now, and in desperation, I called the doctor. She told me to come in that same day. Normally, I don’t leave the house when I’m feeling my worst. I had to keep laying down at the doctor’s because my vertigo was so bad. The doctor performed her usual tests, and looked in my nose. She informed me that it was very inflamed and swollen and she wasn’t sure how I was able to breathe out of it. I admitted that every morning, my nose is stuffed up pretty badly. She prescribed the Montelukast, that I’m unable to take because of side effects, and told me that she really thinks that allergies are causing my vertigo because the ear nose and throat are all connected. At first, I was discouraged with this diagnosis, because I felt like she was brushing off my symptoms. *Just* allergies?! I couldn’t believe allergies could cause such severe symptoms.

We made a few more stops after visiting the doctor, and when I’d been out of the house for about an hour and a half, I miraculously started feeling a little better. What?? Was the doctor right? I knew my house was probably triggering my allergies, but I didn’t think it was *that* bad.

Getting out of the house for two hours brought me out of one of my worst flairs. I’m now about 99.9% that mold in my house, specifically the basement, is making me sick. I’m going to keep testing this to be sure, but I’m now filled with some hope that I may be able to lead a much less depressing life. Time will tell.

[its-bound-to-get-loud]

If Walls Could Talk lyric analysis

I’ve been fascinated with If Walls Could Talk from the moment I started realizing what the lyrics said. I had to look them up, because it sounded a lot like a song about closeting to me. After reading the lyrics that thought was solidified in my brain. I’ve talked about it with @full-of-lonely-people (aka R) and she agreed with my ideas. Back in July, she actually wrote me an analysis. I read it and agreed with a lot, but somehow forgot about it after that (shame on me). Now that I’m working on an Ashton is not straight masterpost, the song came up again. I decided to write down some of my thoughts, but once I got into a flow it quickly became an analysis that needed to stand on its own. After showing R my analysis she brought the one she made in July back up. After taking a look at it, it quickly became clear to me that we shared a lot of the same thoughts and that we completed each other’s thoughts quit well. So I decided to add her parts as well, because I think it’s good to have multiple voices sharing their voices. That’s all for my intro, time to move on to the song.

First, let’s take a look at the description on the genius website about the meaning of the song:

“If Walls Could Talk” discusses the secrecy and intimacy of a relationship that is best kept private. This song is comparable to other 5SOS songs such as “English Love Affair” and “Greenlight” which also have suggestive lyrics.

“If Walls Could Talk” hints toward the romantic occurrences in the bedroom; the walls between rooms are the only thing to conceal the true events of a shared night, as well as witness them.

 It’s hard to see on the desktop website, but this is not an official description. These are submitted definitions. The only artist commentary the song has on genius is Ashton tweeting it’s one of his favorite songs of the album and everything the band said in the cocktail chats.

At first I figured that the song was probably about Muke. That was the obvious choice, since I already believed they aren’t straight. When I checked the writing credits I was surprised to see that the only 5SOS members credited are Ashton and Calum. Which sorts of excludes the possibility that it’s about Muke, unless Ashton and Calum wrote it about them. Which is not impossible, but it seems unlikely. As I’ve mentioned before, I do not believe in Cashton as a couple at this moment, so I don’t see this as a song about their relationship. I’m not entirely sure if I think Calum is straight or not. It’s not something I exclude. I just haven’t seen much evidence to back up any side to be fair. So this song could really be about either of their experiences.

In the cocktail chats all 5SOS members speak about the song from a musical point of view, but what stands out is that nobody speaks about the meaning of the song. So we have no official explanation about the song. Let’s take a look at some of the lyrics and how we interpret them.

“Some things are meant to be secret and not to be heard” C: The song starts with the mention of secrets. This could be about a relationship that for whatever reason you prefer to keep a secret. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be about a relationship. In the chorus the narrator does say “we’d fall from grace”. But that we could also mean the band, it doesn’t have to be just 2 people.

So if I tell you, just keep it and don't say a word C: This sounds like a very urgent call for someone else to keep it a secret. It sounds like it’s very important to the narrator to keep the secret. “Don’t say a word.”

R: I think maybe listening to the first lines instead of simply reading them takes away from how assertive they are – some things are meant to be secret almost implies that it's in their nature to be secret, and violating that is far heavier than simply spilling some secret; consequently, if I tell you just keep it, and don't say a word

Yeah, when the doors are all closing, it's bound to get loud C: Doors are closing, now this could be the doors to a bedroom. Loud could be a reference to activities in the bedroom. The doors could also be a reference to a closet. Closeting (for those who might not know) is a term used for hiding the fact that someone is not straight, either forced or by choice. If you look at the next line, loud doesn’t have to be sound or noise. It could also be considered loud in actions. Defying those who may inforce a closet on the narrator, by maybe making some references about not being straight.

'Cause all these bodies are hoping to get addicted to sound C: Bodies can be taken literally as people, but if you look at it from a closeting point of view, bodies can also be skeletons. Having skeletons in your closet is a saying about there being something people don’t know about a person, having secrets perhaps. To quote Wikipedia: “Skeleton in the closet or skeleton in the cupboard is a colloquial phrase and idiom used to describe an undisclosed fact about someone which, if revealed, would damage perceptions of the person.”

I’d say the information that a 5SOS member is not straight could definitely be considered a skeleton in the closet. It can damage the perception fans have of the band or some of its members. While a lot of fans would probably be supportive if it turns out any of the 5SOS members are not straight, there could also be backlash from some people. The people on their team (management, people at their record label, etc.) could consider it damaging to the 5SOS image to have them open up about their sexuality and therefore force them to hide their sexuality. There’s always a possibility that whoever this is about has chosen to stay closeted voluntarily, but that’s something we can’t really know for certain.

R: On a first read it almost sounds like what is being described is some kind of party – once the doors close, you can turn the music up, and “cause all these bodies are hoping to get addicted to sound” could be a reference to the party goers. But given the context of the song, it seems more appropriate to interpret this in a metaphorical way: “when the doors are all closing” could be a metaphor for privacy – as in, “when every way to access my personal life is blocked”, hence why I find the “all” interesting; it would make less sense if it wasn't a metaphor. “It's bound to get loud” could be a reference to the fact that once you become more secretive, or more private, people tend to talk more, probe more for information. “Cause all these bodies are hoping to get addicted to sound” could mean, sticking with the metaphor, a comment on how nowadays people become quite literally obsessed – addicted, you could say – with every bit of information they can get on others; interesting the use of “bodies” to indicate “people” - it almost strips them of their more “human” side. This, coupled with the first two verses, would suggest that it's not merely privacy we are talking about – it's things even deeper than that, not the simple, blanket right to privacy.

Pre-chorus: Oh, not everything is so primitive Oh, but I'm giving in

Primitive means something is in an early level of development or at the beginning of a process. A word related to it would be simple. It sounds like the narrator is either saying it’s not that simple to give up what he has going with someone, so he keeps giving in. Or it could mean that things are getting complicated because there’s pressure to hide to hide the secret, so he’s giving in to those who force him to keep the secret.

Then on to the chorus.

If these walls could talk, I'd hope they wouldn't say anything Because they've seen way too many things 'Cause we'd fall from grace, we're falling Yeah, we'd fall from grace

C: “If these walls could talk” is a pretty common saying which speaks for itself. If the walls could repeat what happened in a room there could be serious consequences. So if the narrator would be seen with a male partner or heard speaking to someone about their sexuality, this could have consequences for their image/career. They could “fall from grace” as the song describes. An important note to make is that the narrator is saying we would fall from grace. They’re not referencing just themselves. This could mean another person they are seeing. Or maybe even the band, because if one member of the band would come out/get outed that could have consequences for the whole band.

R: This song seems to alternate metaphors to very direct lyrics, such as these: “Not everything is so primitive, but I'm giving in” seems to describe a very specific situation, possibly the one that is meant to be secret, and not to be heard. The idea that “not everything is so primitive” almost suggests the need for a justification: the writer seems to be saying “most things aren't as primal as this, but this one thing is”, and it seems to recall the idea that “if these walls could talk, we'd fall from grace”: the writer might be justifying this that is, in fact, primitive, and that they're giving into it, but it's not everything, but they know that it would be enough to make them “fall from grace”. “Not everything” could be referring to “everything that is behind closed doors”, i.e. everything the writer wants to hide, that is not meant to be heard. “Not everything that I'm hiding is so primitive”. I think it's quite obvious this is referring to sex.

Let’s take a look at the 2nd verse.

I love your hair in your face I wouldn't dare let you down Don't let that glass go to waste Oh, you're a queen but uncrowned

C: This seems to talk about more stereotypical feminine things. Hair in your face reads like long hair, which is often associated with women. Although this could just as much be about a man. Queen is obviously a reference to a woman. One mention of a woman doesn’t just make this a song about a heterosexual relationship. Being closeted means you sexuality is a secret to most people. This means that a closeted songwriter will write songs referencing women even if the song isn’t about a woman.

The exact definition of this part is something I still struggle with a little. It seems to me like it’s appreciating the other person for who they are. An uncrowned king or queen is someone who is good at something, but who hasn’t had any sort of official acknowledgement for it, like a title or a crown. So this could be about keeping a relationship a secret. I want to be with you, but we can’t make it official to the outside world, because it would have consequences.

Uncrowned king/queen: A man or woman who is considered to be the best, the most famous, or the most powerful in a particular area of life, especially when they do not have an official rank or title.

R: The alternating between metaphors and direct lyrics becomes tighter: “I love your hair in your face”/”Don't let that glass go to waste” are very tangible situations; “I wouldn’t dare let you down”/”You're a queen but uncrowned” aren't referring to a specific situation, and are more metaphorical. The fact that this is how they should be paired could be underlined by how they rhyme. “I wouldn't dare let you down” could be a statement for the person “behind the walls” with the writer – so, out of metaphor, also meant to be kept a secret. It could also be a statement for the people on the other side of the wall – let's not forget the writer thinks that “if these walls could talk”, if their secret were to be let out, they “would fall from grace”, but it doesn't seem like the writer himself shares that sentiment: the writer doesn't think that what they're doing behind closed doors, as primitive as it might be, deserves to make them “fall from grace” - furthermore, one could argue no human being should even be seen in a position of “grace”. I lean towards this second explanation more because of how almost flippant the position of the verse makes this statement – which, by itself, could be a deep promise; however, once it's thrown in the middle, between “I love your hair in your face” and “Don't let that glass go to waste”, it loses value. Also, the addition of “dare” almost makes it sound like the writer is mocking this promise. “You're a queen, but uncrowned” probably alludes to the fact that whatever is kept secret, behind walls, loses some sort of shallow recognition because it is kept secret. “You are still a queen, but you haven't been crowned, you haven't received public recognition”.

C: I’m writing this after finishing my own analysis. Now that I’m reading R’s analysis there’s one specific thing that stands out to me, that I think is important to point out: “One could argue no human being should even be seen in a position of “grace”.” This feels so on brand for Ashton specifically. Just today I listened to him being interviewed for the podcast The Green Room with Neil Griffiths. On there he mentioned how he has trained himself to not see himself as “famous” or a “celebrity”, to keep himself grounded. Reading R’s words on the same day I heard Ashton speak about these things really blew me away. It further settles my belief that we seem to be on the right track with our analysis.

C: The bridge of the song repeats the lyrics of the first verse. Which I don’t think is a common thing in many songs. It seems to repeat, once again, that there is some sort of secret that the narrator is afraid that if it comes out, it could mess up a lot of things. Hammering down that this secret has to stay hidden.

This is our full analysis of If Walls Could Talk, I hope you found our takes interesting. Personally I’m very glad R brought up her theory again, because it fills in my gaps so nicely. If you have any suggestions or questions, feel free to send me an ask. Please keep in mind that this is just our personal interpretation, we are not stating this as fact. Lyrics often have a lot of meanings and ours may be part of that or not at all. A big thank you to R for writing and bringing up her analysis, I’m so glad we can share ideas back and forth.

Lyric source: genius

[shorties-unite]

A Comprehensive List of Reasons why I Cried in the Year 2020

JANUARY

- Ex texting “who’s this?”

- Watching Hannah Montana, Robby is such a good dad, made me miss my dad

- A story about an old couple where one of them is forgetting. Imagine being in love. Imagine forgettting. Scary but beautiful

February

- LaDarius’s brother crying when Navarro won nationals

- Had an argument with brother cause he didn’t get that I can’t just like anyone

March

- Frozen II a little bc of how boyband-y kristoff’s love song was, mostly bc of Show Yourself

- Got home bc of corona virus, made my brother mad just by existing. Also I’m probably just exhausted from the weekend

- Can’t deal with no schedule bc of corona and miss GC after ONE DAY.

April

- more breakdown about no schedule and musculoskeletal Anatomy

- Thought about Louis Tomlinson’s family and then saw a video of Simon saying supportive stuff when he performed at XFactor after his mum died

- Another vid about Louis god he’s amazing

- Louis Tomlinson

- Mr Robot

- Mr Robot again but like big time

- My Robot part 3

- Interpersonal Skills essay research

- Mr Robot part four I knew it was coming but god damn rami you wound me

- One tear for Phineas and Ferb

- Fuckin rami, fucking robots, makes me sad that that’s a real thing

- Mr Robot the finale, and definitely not anything else that I may or may not have found out about today because I’m a bad bitch and being sad about boys again would be dumb

May

- Got super anxious about interpersonal skills bst, cried in front of tutor during test

- Coughed so hard I cried, x2 but Idk if that counts

- A short story about a dude marrying a dead girl

June

- Mum unsuccessful in competitive process

- 13 reasons why 2nd last ep got me teary cause Troye and Winston and Alex and Charlie

- Decided to rewatch DEH and feel things

- Last episode of 13rw ew

July

- Twice watching Hamilton

- It chap 2 got me a lil cause of course it did

- Louis tweeted for the 10 year anniversary, he thanked everyone and tagged all the boys, even zayn

- Queer eye got me tearing up, frick man

August

- mum and little sister leave after their trip for sister’s formal dress and I missed having ppl around so it was really great to see them and now I’m lonely

September

- New phineas and ferb day

October

- Was anxious all day, forgot to eat before 3pm, got teary because I was standing too close to a group of loud teenage boys with bad haircuts in a public place and couldn’t get away

- Later that night, I think I’m still just anxious and also I have jealousy

- Again, this time watching a @dannyphantom.exe tik tok but also still feeling things so I’m blaming that

- Roman calling Virgil “brave”

- Kathy Johnson beam story in Defying Gravity on YouTube

- “Hoping This Cold Blue Water Scrubs me Clean and Spits me out Again” ty for the rec O_____

- Onward x2 (one when Ian realised how his brother had been there for him, and one when barley gets to say goodbye to his dad but Ian is stuck behind a rock and can’t go to them)

- The Keri Straugh story

- Watching new girl with mum

November

- Girl Meets World x2

- Oh look Girl Meets World again not Maya’s dad

- Glee, Kurt’s dad almost died okay it’s sad

- 5.5x at youngest sister’s dance concert

- Glee again, Jean’s funeral

- Watched that Netflix short if anything happens I love you, I don’t think it’s as sad as ppl say but I’m not American soooo

December

- Got cancelled on by T____ for a third time, felt bad about getting cancelled and ignored then sister asked if I was okay and it was very nice but I was not

- Got sad bc I don’t like my surfers eye and no one will listen to me complain about it

- Dance express senior gala

- Mr Stark I don’t feel so good

- Endgame tho man

- Got yelled at by manager for not helping supervisir B____ when I was one of the only ones that had set up anything and it felt unfair

- On Christmas bc I have to make a call to apple support to figure out my trade in

- Cried after trying to trade in phone bc I didn’t want to make a second phone call to Apple

- Got emo in sc bc of wanting to be included in things but then friend who it was sort of directed at saw it and now I have to explain it and the whole point of posting it is getting it out without hurting people but it still feels like it hurts people (ps pretty sure I discovered I have a fear of abandonment and neglect)

[cuculine-nelipot]

Wish We Could

Chapter Two: London

{ Pairing: Hermione Granger x Fred Weasley

Summary: After the Battle of Howgarts, Hermione and Ron start dating; their slow-burn friends to lovers arc complete. He’s nice, and she’s comfortable, and everyone is happy for them. Everyone but Fred, who can’t stop thinking that he loved her first, and Hermione, who begins to wonder if they really are as over as she thought they were. }

22nd August 1998, Night

“Well that was a colossally stupid thing to do,” George says from his old bed in The Burrow, spending the night at their mother’s insistence. Half laying down, he doesn’t look up from his magazine. Fred stands uncomfortably still, staring out the window, as though shell-shocked, even though Errol has long been out of sight.

“Yup.”

23rd August 1998, Morning

It was true that it didn’t take an awful lot to keep her up all night: a new book, a good essay, or better, a long one. Hermione had pulled her fair share of all-nighters, but none like this.

“Were you up all night reading again darling?” Her mother asks, taking stock of her daughter’s messier than usual hair, the shadows around her puffy eyes.

“Yes.” This wasn’t a lie exactly — she’d read that letter countless times.

“You look awful.” It sounds harsh, but her mother’s furrowed brow shows real concern.

“It was a sad story.”

1st July 1996

Summer had come to engender mixed emotions in Hermione. On the one hand she was of course excited to see her parents again, but on the other, she missed her friends terribly. She never had friends like Ron and Harry before; friends she saw day and night, friends she shared every meal with, friends she knew from experience would risk their lives for her as quickly as she would for them. She had no siblings, and had hardly kept in touch with the few friends from primary school. It was too difficult to keep fabricating stories about her Very Normal Boarding School Where Nothing Life-Threatening Ever Happened. So home for Hermione had become synonymous with the sort of deep-seated loneliness one only feels when one knows precisely what they are missing.

And now, to make matters worse, there was Fred. Fred who had kissed her in the hospital, and again by the lake, and again in several empty hallways while they waited for term to officially end. Fred who had, over the past year become more important to her than she ever would have expected. Fred, who didn’t look at her like he was lost and she was supposed to have the map, or make it. Fred, who so often grabbed her by the hand with a whiny come on Hermione, mischief dancing across his face, and dragged her along for some pure and honest thrill-seeking, who showed her the world as she had never seen it before.

The shrill ring of the telephone abruptly cut through her melancholia. Assuming it was only her parents phoning from work, she took her time making her way downstairs.

“Hello?”

“Hermione?”

“Fred?” She asked, her voice pitched with incredulity. “How are you calling? Why are you calling?”

“I believe it’s called a payphone and I am using one because I wanted to talk to you.” Even through the crackle and static, the teasing grin in his voice was obvious.

“Wanted?”

“Want.” He could hear the smile in her voice too.

24th August 1998, 10:17 a.m.

Perhaps George was right, and that her silence over the weekend means she isn’t coming. She is wiser than Fred after all. And George is usually right. Still, Fred waits, at an al fresco table at Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour, his right leg bouncing manically up and down, his eyes flitting to his watch every few seconds. He has been sitting there for forty-eight minutes.

Of course, Hermione knew at once that it was an undoubtedly bad idea, going to see Fred. Though really, it would only be a bad idea if she still has feelings for him, which she doesn’t, or if he still has feeling fore her, which she is sure isn’t true either. Then there is the fact that she had hardly made it to Florean’s all summer, and he has a lovely blackcurrant and gin ice-cream that he’s meant to stop making once Autumn rolls round. But then there is the question of why precisely Fred wants to meet her. And then there is Ron. Such thoughts chased each other in circles around her head, nipping at each other’s heals all Saturday night and most of Sunday, until another owl arrived. This one with a note from Flourish and Blotts asking her to please collect her order at her earliest convenience. Was Monday morning around 10 a.m. not her earliest convenience?

And so at eight-thirty on this almost chilly August morning, Hermione left her house for Belsize Park station, hopped on the Northern line, and alighted five stops later at Leister Square. She walked two minutes in the direction of The Leaky Cauldron, changed her mind, and instead went to Foyles, which reminded her that she did indeed need to go to Flourish and Blotts. After buying just three books and a new book bag, she again made her way to The Leaky Cauldron, then onward to Diagon Alley. This whole harrowing ordeal took over an a hour, and so apart from picking up Merlin’s Annotated Dante’s Inferno, she decided to splurge a little on some new quills, a well of peacock blue ink, and a couple of fancy leather bound notebooks.

It is perhaps this added weight that, on observing Fred Weasley’s anxious form outside Florean’s, impedes her attempted escape. Instead, before she can take two steps back the way she just came, she feels a hand pulling at her wrist.

“Hermione, wait.” She turns to see him looking imploringly at her with his bright green eyes, so wide and so close she can see flecks of gold in them, reflecting the morning sun. “It’s just ice-cream.”

Just ice-cream — who could argue with that? They order two scoops each and return to the table he had already occupied, Hermione dumping her bag on an empty chair emphatically in a show of annoyance. For a while they sit in silence; her refusing to speak first, and him not wanting to risk ruining their fragile peace. She scoops ice-cream into her mouth without looking up from her bowl, and he eats slowly, without looking away from her.

“I want the record to show that I think this is a colossally stupid thing to do,” she says suddenly, her eyes still fixed on her food.

“Well I suppose ice-cream’s never the healthiest thing in the world but Florean’s is pretty —“

“You know what I mean,” she cuts him off bitingly.

“The record will reflect that both you and George think that this is a colossally stupid thing to do. However, I would like to remind all relevant parties that it was my idea, and between the two of us I am the only Ravenclaw so therefore—“

“What do you want Fred.” She phrased it like a question, but her tone makes it abundantly clear that she would like nothing more than for him to just shut up.

“I just want to talk.” He looks abashed, or as abashed as he can look for Fred Weasley.

“I’m not sure we have anything to talk about.”

“Oh,” he says in a tone both needled and needling, “I think we have plenty to talk about.”

“Like what Frederick? You broke us up remember? Not me. You’re the one who walked away —”

“I walked away? You were the one who was leaving. You left —”

“I had to go. You’re the one who said you couldn’t —“

“And you’re the one who hung up the phone. And you’re the one who kissed —”

“I knew this was a mistake.” She grabs her bag, her chair scraping harshly on the flagstones in her haste to leave, desperate to not hear the end of that sentence.

“Hermione —“ He whines, but she doesn’t look at him. Can’t.

“Good bye Fred.”

17th July 1997

“Good bye Fred.”

“Hermione —“

A click as the phone disconnected. He stood alone in the red phone booth, in the flat above the store.

“You alright there mate?” George asked from the couch, turning from the Daily Prophet, his brows furrowed with concern.

The receiver still held to his ear. The singular, monotonous hang-up tone filled his head, his body, pervading the very fibre of his being.

2nd July 1996, Morning

“Buoyant” was the only word that came to mind as Hermione walked down Charing Cross.  She felt buoyant. She had resigned herself to spending the week or so before she and her parents went on vacation wandering around Hampstead with nothing but her books for entertainment, until Fred called and asked if they could meet the following day — today — at The Leaky Cauldron. So she made her way there, buoyantly, glad for some company and more so that it was his.

“Granger!” He hailed from the curb. Of course, her heart didn’t actually skip a beat, but it felt like it did.

“Why are you waiting out here?”

“Well the Cauldron’s a bit of a dive yeah? And Diagon Alley is just the one alley and we’ve been loads so I thought maybe you could show me your London?” He says, all in one breath. She wasn’t sure but she thought his face pinked a little.

“My London?”

“You know… Muggle London.”

“Why?”

“I dunno — if I’m going to live here I should know the area. And,” he added, looking down and rubbing the back of his neck. His speech became stilted. “I want to know what your world’s like.”

“Okay,” she smiled. Buoyantly.

The first place she thought to take him was of course Foyles bookstore, because it was close, and because, well, books. A whole monumental treasury of books.

“Bloody hell,” his eyes widened in child-like wonderment the second they walked through the door. The patchwork rainbow of spines and covers, the smell of new books, the sheer notion of being surrounded by so many stories, and so much knowledge. Even if it only lasted a moment, Hermione had never seen him so still or so quiet before, and she briefly wondered if she had broken him. “This place is massive,” he spun around as he spoke, taking it all in, “is everything in London this big?”

“Not everything. Just a lot of things.” She couldn’t look away from him, the spark in his eyes eliciting an adoring smile. “Did you bring any quid?”

“What’s that?” He asked, not really listening.

“Pounds, muggle money, did you bring any?”

His face blanched as he turned to look at her sheepishly. “Might have forgotten. But I have regular money.”

“‘Regular’ is a state of mind Frederick. And wizard currency far from regular. It’s ridiculous.”                                

“It’s not!”

“29 knuts to a sickle and 17 sickles to a galleon? It’s completely impractical.”

“Okay fine. Maybe you have a point.”

“Oh I definitely have a point.” Hermione retorted, grinning from ear to ear. She insisted that she had been meaning to change some money anyway, so they switched 10 galleonss for £50.

He moved further inside slowly, overwhelmed and unsure of where to start. At first he simply trailed behind her, but eventually wandered off on his own, winding through the stacks and pulling books off the shelves to peruse at length. She found him in a corner near the children’s section over an hour later, surrounded by piles of books ranging from classic literature to astrophysics. The only things he seemed sure of were a home improvement manual for Mr. Weasley, and the first two volumes of Asterix and Obelix.

“You alright there, Frederick?” She asked, crouching down beside him.

“There’s so many Hermione. How am I supposed to pick? I’ve never even heard of half these subjects before. Do I need a book about aerospace technology? Do I need seven? How should I know?”

“I’m going to go out on a limb and say you don’t need any.”

“Help me,” he whined, looking up at her with his big, doleful green eyes. He had never in his life felt quite so distressed. She sorted through the volumes surrounding him, eventually selecting The English Patient — one of her personal favourites — A Midsummer Night’s Dream, and a history of 20th century archaeological discoveries.

When they at last emerged, it was onto a London bustling with the lunch-time rush. Rather hungry themselves they went in search of sustenance and managed, with a little magical persuasion, to find a table in a small French bakery. At their window seat they split a quiche Lorraine and a croque monsieur, drank iced-chocolate, and tried to stave off the crash that inevitably follows a bookstore-high.

“You’re being awfully quiet today.”

“Hm?” He perked up. “Oh, sorry. It’s just a lot to take in, this.” He gestured vaguely to the sprawling city outside.

“But do you like it?”

He shrugged. “I love it.”

“Good.” She smiled, satisfied, settling further back in her seat.

“Do you like it?” He asked after a moment’s silence, studying her face carefully.

She picked at her food, considering. “I do but… I’m usually alone. I think I like it better with you.” She paused, then nodded as if affirming the truth of it to herself. “This quiche is pretty good.” She raised her fork but before she could take another bite, he was leaning across the table, one hand lightly holding her face, pressing his mouth to hers.

24th August 1998, Evening/Night

This time, Hermione is certain of it. She will not leave her room until the first of September. Her parents however are not on the same page.

“Hermione dear?” Her mother calls, hearing the jingle of keys in the front door. “Is that you? Come into the kitchen.” Hermione obliges, and finds her parents reading different newspapers at the kitchen table, with a steaming pot of earl grey and a plate of shortbread between them like they did everyday after work. The sight is enough to warm Hermione’s heart. She had missed this almost more than she could bear.

“How was your day darling?” Her father asks without looking up.

“Fine.”

“Did you buy any books?” Mrs. Granger does not look up either.

“I bought a few, yes.”

“That’s nice.” Her father offers, taking a sip of his tea.

Hermione lingers by the doorway, not saying anything. Eventually her mother looks at her, and observes a certain heaviness in her countenance. “Why do you look upset? Come sit down and have some tea.”

“Is this about Ron?” Mr Granger inquires, a particularly paternal brand of protectiveness evident in both his tone and in his eyes.

“Is it about the brother?” Her mother asks with hawklike instinct.

“Are you thinking about your… adventures?”

“You promised no more secrets darling.”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” Hermione interjects before they can pursue their line of questioning any further. They blink at her, equally taken aback. “If that’s okay with you,” she adds imploringly, unwaveringly meeting their eyes. They in turn consider their daughter carefully.

“Well alright then,” her mother says, turning back to her paper. “Dinner is in an hour. Go wash up.”

So she does, and she eats dinner with her parents, and after that she re-reads her new herbology textbook in the living room while her mother reads a le Carré and her father listens to a radio comedy. And she’s happy, honestly. She’s happy to be nestled in the warm glow of her childhood home, with her unchanging parents. She’s happy they are safe, and that for the first time in years there was nothing foreboding hovering on the horizon. She is happy, or at least, she is content.

Fred Weasley on the other hand is far from happy or content. After his rather disastrous morning he went straight back to the flat above the store, determined to spend the rest of his day off in bed. He didn’t move for hours. Rather impressively, he was still in bed when George came up after closing. His hair stuck out at odd angles as though he had been trying to pull it out, his sheets were fitfully dishevelled.

“Oh mate,” said George with an emphatically slow shake of his head, “you really need to get a grip.”

Fred looked up from Asterix and Cleopatra, shooting his brother a reproachful look.

“I’m going into London to get dinner. Do try to regain some level of composure before I get back yeah?”

That seemed like too much effort, so Fred fell asleep instead. He wakes up much later, at 1:38 a.m with London rolling round his head like a marble dipped in luminous dye, tracing webs of light. Quietly, he grabs his Nimbus 2001, climbs out the window onto the roof, and shoots off into the night. A certain frost sparks in the air, pinching at his skin. The wind whips through his hair, at his cheeks, stirs something inside his chest.

All the lights are off in the Grangers’ Hampstead home when he arrives, about 20 minutes later. All but the warm glow of a reading lamp emanating from what he knows is Hermione’s window. He hovers across the street, obscured by trees and shadow. He can see her silhouette on the sheer white curtains, sitting in bed, perfectly still, her head bowed slightly. Reading, most likely. His mind wanders to all the times he’d seen her in that exact posture, in a zen-state of complete focus; her small placid mouth, her smooth brow, the inward curve of her nose, mahogany brown ringlets framing her face. He remembers how he used to try and touch her cheek, her nose, her mouth, and how she would swat him away like she was shooing a fly.

She moves; her arms stretch above her head, her hands intertwined. She switches off the light, and Fred goes home.

2nd July 1996, Evening

“Had a good day darling?” Her mother called from the kitchen as Hermione closed the front door.

“It was alright, yes,” she said, leaning against the kitchen doorway. But the smile spread across her face suggested that it was a lot more than simply alright.

“What did you do?” Her father asked, his nose still in his paper.

“Oh you know, just went central. I met up with Fred. Went to Foyles. Had lunch. Walked around.”

“Who’s Fred?” Her father asked sharply, head snapping to face her.

“Ron’s brother,” she replied. Suddenly embarrassed, she shifted her weight nervously.  “One of the twins. You’ve met him before dad.”

“Why were you with Fred?” Her mother’s stare was as piercing as her father’s tone.

“Well he and George just moved to Diagon Alley and he asked me to show him around a bit,” she replied in one breath.

“Just Fred?”

“Yes.” Her face burned under her parents’ scrutiny, and she struggled to hold their gaze, not wanting to seem guilty, like she was hiding something.

“Why?”

Hermione only shrugged in response, pursed her lips, desperate for this to be over. “I’m going to shower now.” She turned abruptly and left the room.

“Dinner’s in an hour,” Mrs. Granger called after her daughter. A door slammed shut upstairs. She turned to her husband, and they shared a look of utter disbelief.

chapter one | chapter two

taglist: @thelasttime​ @bchnan​ @lovedyouthreesummers​ @keoghans​

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

Bioshock Rebirth Part 1 told in a humorous way

Showed this to @feckinatlas like some of the others. I had this in my draft oh wait. Yeah this is part of my Bioshock Rebirth AU, my reimagining/reboot of the Bioshock franchise. While I don’t wanna write a full on novel because I’m lazy like that. Yet I wanted to make a funny recap. Originally this would of been part 1 and 2. But I decided to keep as 1 right now.

Basically was inspired by stuff like the ByteSize recaps of The Last Of Us. So if you want to know the full story but keep it short. Despite some parts seem long and deep. Yet this is told in a humorous way. Hopefully you enjoy it. Including the night before I am uploading this. I decided to add Booker’s parts because I imagine him as a boss.

Part 1.

Archie: My aircraft was shot down and now it crashed into the ocean near this lighthouse! What the Hell is all this!? Andrew Ryan? An underwater city called Rapture? Weird looking people trying to kill me? Weird diving suit monsters with drills? Little girls holding giant needles? What the Hell is going on down here?

Atlas: Oy lad! My name is Atlas. I’m the leader of the rebellion going against Ryan. He’s an asshole and I made the distress call. We need to take Ryan down and we need your help.

Archie: Okay man who I trust and grow to admire as a father figure who reminds me of myself. Hi two ladies.

Daisy: Hey there I’m Daisy. I’m Atlas’s 2nd in command and....I guess I’m gay with Diane.

Diane: We had a weird history.

Archie: Ah no judgement there. :)

Atlas: Now we need your help rescuing this young girl Ryan has imprisoned. We don’t know why she’s imprisoned but we need to save her.

Later.

Elizabeth: I’m Elizabeth and I want to go Paris! But I’m stuck in this tower. :( But you’re real and that’s so awesome! :D

Archie: Hi Elizabeth! I’m here to rescue you! 

Bluto: Who in the fuck wants her out!?

Archie: AH SHIT HE’S A BIG DIVING SUIT MONSTER! 

*When they get out.*

Elizabeth: Oh my God it’s so great out here!

Archie: Oh crap I’m starting to like her.

*As they explore Rapture more.*

Atlas: Ah crap they’re working like a team! She’s using these small tears to help him out while he shoots stuff!

Elizabeth: I feel like I’m gonna lose my mind and go crazy seeing all this death and unpleasant stuff. :( Especially after meeting that Steinman guy.

Archie: You’re going to be alright. Nothing is gonna hurt you. Don’t become apathetic. We’ll get through this together. :)

Elizabeth: I feel comfortable with you. :)

Atlas: Now since that Big Daddy is dead. Put that Little Sister out of her misery!

Archie: Oh Hell no man! There has to be another way!

Brigid: Do not hurt my little ones. Hello young man and young girl. Use this thing to free them from their torment.

Archie: Ah thanks lady. :)

Atlas: Don’t trust her Arch! She’s responsible for them!

Archie: But she’s trying to help them! :(

Booker: Argh! I work for Ryan’s personal guard! You’re Atlas’s Dog. I’ll send my troopers to get that girl back. Including I’ll wonder if I should capture or kill you!

*After going around unpopulated and some populated parts in Rapture for nearly a week.*

Archie: Ah man Tenenbaum’s safehouse is pretty nice. And these Little Sisters are kids and are great. :) Yet Brigid seems weird around. Especially she looked like I looked familiar. Even Atlas did so too. And sometimes he says these three words sometimes and my head hurts.

Later.

Julie: These are my franken trees.

Archie and Elizabeth: Woah!

Later.

Cohen: I’m Sander Cohen and I’m a weird and disgusting artist guy! 

Archie: Ugh I don’t like him.

Elizabeth: Me neither.

Jasmine: Hi I’m Jasmine and I’m a stripper. :)

Archie: This Jasmine lady is very nice. Glad we were able to rescue her.

Later.

Bluto: Argh! Give me back Elizabeth! I’m trying to protect her! 

Archie: We need to stop the Proto-Daddy! We have to kill him.

Elizabeth: No I can’t kill the closest thing I had to a protective brother.

Archie: I understand that Elizabeth but we have to stop him or he’s gonna cause more death and destruction. I would love if there was another way. Including there’s no turning back if you have to stop him.

Elizabeth: I understand but let me be the one who has to put him down. I’m not going to enjoy this.

*Puts him through a tear that sends him into space as he falls from orbit.*

Bluto: Nooooo! You were my best friend Elizabeth!

Elizabeth: :(

Archie: I’m sorry for your loss. I’m sure he was a great friend. *Hugs her to comfort her.* You’re still a good person.

Booker: Argh! That’s it boy scout let’s fight! Why the Hell aren’t you mutating? Why are you so badass? How are you able to kill so many of my troopers with some what ease! Fight me boy scout! I’ll show you how a real soldier fights!

Archie: Okay gruff old man!

Booker: No you beat me! I just want my daughter back! She’s the only important thing in my life! She deserves better than this. :(

Elizabeth: You’re my father. 

Archie: I’m not gonna kill you because while you’re an asshole. You don’t wanna hurt children and you still love your daughter. Now let’s go Elizabeth. 

Later.

Atlas: Alright Arch we’re close to getting to Ryan. How about you go to Ryan and take him down. Whether you kill him or not. I’ll take care of Tenenbaum and Elizabeth since they trust me a lot. Even though with Tenenbaum she still doesn’t trust me fully.

Archie: Thanks Atlas. You’re a great friend. :) Now excuse me while me and some others go to Ryan. You can take care of the two closest people I’ve known in my life. I’m sure they will be in good hands.

Later.

Archie: It’s over Ryan! 

Ryan: A man chooses. A slave obeys. A broken slave has no purpose. You’re a broken machine who’s entire life was a lie. 

Archie: Bullshit. >:(

Ryan: Would you kindly? Familiar phrase.

Archie: Ah my head hurts AND OH MY GOD ATLAS KEPT USING THAT PHRASE AND I’VE BEEN SEEING WEIRD SHIT LIKE ME WANTING TO KILL YOU!

Ryan: Yes he has and you saw that Fontaine was involved in your process. Now beat me to death with this golf club so you can prove you’re just a slave.

Archie: Hell no old man! >:( *Takes the genetic key and goes back to Atlas.*

Later.

Archie: Atlas how did you know of the WYK plans?

Atlas: I don’t know what you’re talking about boyo? But hey did you know Elizabeth’s lips taste like strawberries? She tried to kiss me you know.

*Atlas gets knocked out by a wrench and Archie finds the two ladies tied up.*

Elizabeth: Oh my God you came back! I found out I was born full of ADAM!

Brigid: Yes he did thank goodness you came back. Atlas terrorized us! 

Archie: I’m here to save you two from Atlas because he’s been lying to me about a lot of stuff. *His radio gets called.* Hello?

Atlas: Code Yellow. >:)

Archie: AHHHHH! I’m slowly dying and it’s more raw now! My life is flashing right before my eyes! 

Elizabeth: Oh no Archie! :(

Brigid: We need help and have to find the stuff to stop him from dying! We owe it to him!

Archie: I’m slowly losing my mind! I’m dying! I’m remembering everything! Andrew Ryan! Frank Fontaine! Yi Suchong! Brigid Tenenbaum! Jasmine Jolene! the Lutece twins! Johnny Topside! What the Hell happened to me!? What is my life!? I’m remembering everyone I met in Rapture! I’m not 23 and actually 5 years old!? My name is Jack Ryan!? What the Hell happened to my life!?

After that he wakes up.

Archie: Brigid knew who I was! I’m angry! >:( She had a hand in ruining my life!

Elizabeth: Archie no! I forgave Brigid! Please don’t hurt her!

Brigid: Ah yes you’re pointing a gun on me that I made sure has no ammo. I think you finally remember everything. :(

Archie: My real name is Jack Ryan. I’m actually 5 years old. I literally was ordered to snap a puppy’s neck by Suchong. Frank was gonna use me to save Elizabeth and kill Ryan! You were one of the people responsible for ruining my life!? And you didn’t tell me when you found out it was me!? I’m not a actual human because of what you, Fontaine, and Suchong did to me! I was supposed to be a slave! What the Hell did Johnny Topside do to me!? >:O

Brigid: Yes I had a hand. But I feel great shame. You were meant to be a sleeper agent. But Johnny discovered you. He couldn’t handle the idea of someone like you going through that. So he kidnapped you, punched Suchong in the face, and he had help reprogramming you. I felt empathy as well. This happened when I realized what I did to the Little Sisters. Me and him changed your life. We gave you the name Archie. While the Lutece twins made sure you were in a place where Fontaine could never find you.

Archie: Johnny did that?

Brigid: Yet due to the experiments done on you. Along with you going through military training. You became stronger than you ever were. Yet it was your own choice to become a soldier.

Archie: Woah.

Brigid: Fontaine used Johnny’s death as propaganda. As if Johnny was the first to rebel against Ryan. In a way he did. But the truth was that all Johnny wanted for you was a normal life. In a way he was practically the real Atlas in a way. Since Atlas was inspired by him. Including some of Johnny’s traits and memories went to you in a different way. He became a slave to give you freedom. And I feel terrible that I couldn’t save him. :( You don’t have to forgive me. 

Archie: I forgive you. ;_; *Breaks down crying as Brigid, Elizabeth, and the Little Sisters hug him. Because before this. He showcased he was more human than he ever was.*

Later.

Archie: We gonna stop Frank! 

Atlas: Oy you fucking mistake! You were the closest thing I had to a son! You were meant to be my Ace In The Hole! Yet you didn’t kill Ryan! You got too close to Mother Goose, the Little Magician, those brats, and anyone else! Johnny Topside ruined everything! Tenenbaum betrayed! So you know what, I’m gonna take the woman you’ve grown to love! She and all the ADAM in this city are gonna make me a lot money! You are gonna die alone because you have everything I didn’t have!

Archie: Johnny Topside was more of a father than you ore Ryan could ever be! >:(

Atlas: That’s it time for the disappointment wrench! >:(

*Hits him with the disappointment wrench.*

Elizabeth: No! ;_;

Atlas: My secret is out! I gonna get the Hell out of this city! Everything’s gone busto!

Archie: We gonna save Elizabeth! He has the genetic key! We need to kill Frank Fontaine!

Daisy: We the remaining rebellion can help you!

Archie: That’s great! But I’m worried we may need some Little Sisters help to free Elizabeth! I don’t want to put them in danger.

Brigid: Don’t worry I’ll trust you and we believe in you. We’ll help however we can.

Later.

Archie: It’s okay Elizabeth! I’m coming! Holy shit Frank is that you!?

Atlas: I’m half transformed by this ADAM and using some power from Elizabeth. Now time to go mano a mano against you.

*Both men just scream battle cries at each other as they fight to the death.*

Atlas: I’m so angry at you! I’m gonna beat you to death! Meaning you can’t save this woman you’ve grown to love! 

*Miranda, Sally, and some Little Sisters free Elizabeth so she can use a tear on him.*

Atlas: Ah crap! 0_0;

*Archie screams a battle cry as he stabs Atlas in the chest with a ADAM syringe and hangs him brutally down a glass ceiling. Resulting in the death of Atlas/Frank Fontaine.*

Archie: Hooray we did it! :)

Elizabeth: Yes we did it! :)

Daisy: Fontaine is dead! Ryan is gone! Let’s make Rapture a place where a community can safely live at. :)

Archie: I’m not alone anymore too. I have a family now! 

*Two months of changing stuff as much as they can. Since there is the scary risk if Rapture is found by the surface.*

During that time, relaxation, relationships developing. Also this.

Jasmine: I’m sorry that I sold you for money. I know you must hate me. 

Archie: I forgive you. :) I understand and you’re my birth mom.

Jasmine: Thank you. ;_; *They just hug each other.* I’m so proud of you.